#my own art is hurting me now

[mmmairon]

Please. I don’t want to hurt you.

Inspired by @wyvernne ’s vampluc

#sad and angsty vampire turned against his will and only drinks from animals because he sees himself as a monster #which leaves him incredibly weak and thirsty for real sustenance but he would rather drink his own blood than hurt you #his control will only last for so long! #sorry for being incredibly inactive and unresponsive with asks #lots of change in my life right now that’s leaving me incredibly anxious #can’t focus well so I just avoid things constantly. im sure someone can understand what I mean #oh well #diluc #my art #genshin impact #vampluc

[lunarharp]

What led to this (orufrey comic, cw an uncomfortable/creepy scene)

#witch hat tag #orufrey #er.... i'm too tired to have anything to say..i worked several days on this. #wait.. didn't i say just recently here that i probably wouldn't ever depict 'what if alaira is qifrey's sort-of ex'. What's going on #i don't even remember deciding to draw this..it's all a blur..i'm not sure why i WOULD decide to draw delicate scenes in my head #that i wouldn't really want to share with anyone/discuss so why did i draw it... #some part of me really really wants to draw things that are more and more true to myself... #maybe because of my alienation with most romance/shipping/dynamics the rest of the world depicts. #orufrey really is perfectly suited to me - what i read in the text and what is in my head. well anyway #i am TIRED of drawing poses and angles and..maybe now i will actually take a break from drawing bc of the tediousness of Angles #btw it really is a 'stretch of time' . . . assuming witches graduate age 18-20 #well orufrey are canonically 30-ish. they've only had agott around for presumably about TWO years (?) bc she took the test age 10 #and it feels like oru moving in/unknown atelier acquisition/building (?) .. i guess that could be a year or so before agott at most #(she was the first disciple) so... ????????? What about the other 7 or so years ?!?!?!!?!?! Unemployed Brimhat Hatred era #that time is very nebulous. after qifrey went to the tower i feel like it's been implied he and oru drifted apart a little. #certainly they didn't live together at first... no way. that doesn't feel like how it is based on things oru has said about becoming Eye #idk. I'm tired now. i don't usually think of alaira as necessarily qifrey's ex and this being how things went in that 'sliver of time'. #i usually prefer the idea that they have their first kiss with each other in their 30s cause That's Just The Orufrey Lifestyle #just felt like making a more relatable alternative view of my own Cai Orufrey Canon one time. btw im a big monoshipper and it hurt a bit #let's leave it there. this is surely the most i've worked on a 'single' art - though now i realise just how much longer the fic took :')

[veinsfullofstars]

🪞 Fallen angel... who do you see staring back from the Mirror? 🪞

(ID: Kirby series fanart of Galacta Knight and my personal interpretation of his Mirror World counterpart. GK hovers above facing slightly to our left, his feathery wings spread wide, shaded in lilac and tipped with gilded wing talons, a swallow-like tail visible. He holds his shield forward in his left hand (our right) and his lance to the side in his right (our left), a single magenta eye leering at the viewer through the visor of his mask. A halo of heart spears floats and shines angelically behind his horns. Below him, M!GK hovers in the same pose but flipped horizontally and without the halo. Visually, M!GK has mostly the same features as GK, with his color palette being darker and less saturated (dusty purple body, dark gray armor, gray mask, maroon lance, rose-gold horns and weapons accents). His eyes are not visible in the shadow of his mask, but there are signs of erosion running down the metal surface in rusty orange lines, almost like tear tracks. Instead of feathery wings, M!GK has wings composed of jagged shards of pink crystal, glittering and lit from within by a luminous glow. A few pale feathers can still be seen peeking out from his back. END ID.)

Hey, so... what if... I went a little insane for a minute? What if I just... concepted a character... for the sequel... to an AU... I've told no one about... and haven't even finished writing yet? What if I then... pulled the salt shaker labeled "ANGST" out of the pantry and just... unscrewed the cap all over this poor lad? Oh, and Galacta Knight's here, too, I guess.

Sketch started 02/21/24, render started 03/01/24, finished 03/06/24.

#veins art #veins ocs #veins fanart #fanart #kirby series #kirby #galacta knight #original character #oc #kirby oc #my ocs #mirror galacta knight #<- (note that I don't claim to own the concept of M!GK itself - just this specific interpretation of him) #AU #kintsugi au #<- ('cause apparently I needed to lose my mind in yet ANOTHER au rather than finish any of the others) #I'm having Ideas(TM) #me concepting: “hmm...how could I possibly hurt him more?” #“oh easy. by taking away his wings and putting his own crystal prison in their place! :D” #me realizing I have to actually draw said wings: *suffering* #I mean I guess they came out alright in the end but *frustrated artist noises* #regular GK still gets to be the Bastard of All Time tho - at least in this version #he also can be a li'l extra and have some gold wing claws as a treat :3 #how many eons do you think it takes to cry through your own mask? #*pounds fists on table* Rose! Gold! Horns! ROSE! GOLD! HORNS! #buh okay I need to stop looking at this thing for a minute - I'm gonna conk out now see ya'll tomorrow honk shoo mimimi #swallow tailed galacta knight #<- (inspired by @starflungwaddledee) #angst tw #veinsfullofstars

[pummelingbat]

you can post this if you want or not but i want to let you know that i'm a trans guy too and your comics about herbert-pre!transition-AU is making me super dysphoric. i like ur art and i like your stuff (its great) but it almost feels like youre making fun of dysphoria and trying to make it funny and cute and it almost feels like ur telling jokes about deadnames or looks. its not funny or cute it is really hurtful and makes me feel gross everytime... not telling u what to do but maybe think abt it?

i'm sorry you feel this way, truly.

but writing/drawing this AU is cathartic for me, personally, as a trans guy. i'm depicting a lived experience that i and many others can relate to, not out of mockery but with love. this AU is honestly a lot more personal than most of my other Re-Animator art, so it kind of hurts to be told that my stuff is only good when it's less personal/more broadly appealing to everybody.

i don't want you to feel bad, but at the same time i am not going to feel bad or guilty for making art drawn from from my own trans experience. i have all my HS AU art in one tag specifically for folks to block, for a reason.

#ask #anonymous #i know you said you arent telling me what to do but. like. #it really does hurt that somebody would assume i was portraying a life experience that is very close to my own heart to be belittling. #i get that we are all going thru it but im a trans artist too. i do not just make content i have experiences and feelings too. #and i make art reflecting that. #idk. bummer. disabling anon now.

[aquanutart]

I absolutely LOVE the Squirtle/Wartortle illustrations by kantaro in Pokemon 151!

The Squirtle jumping so joyfully from the rock into the ocean, the colors are STUNNING! I love the contrast of the Squirtle's aqua blue framed in the vivid orange sky, the soft bit of blue reflecting in its shell and its tail just catching the sun, how little and squishy its body looks as it launches itself towards the water with such tremendous excitement!

The lineless style of the background gives me the feel of a travel poster and I sense the tropical environment around it from the rocks and trees framing the corners, the waterfall splashing with as much energy as the Squirtle!

The layered blues on the surface of the water and the bubbles rising at the corner make me FEEL the liquid rising to meet the Squirtle--I can just feel how the next moment it's going to break through and be immersed in a cool island swim!

And the Wartortle running along the sunset beach, this is somehow everything I always imagined for Wartortle! I adore the way the rich purple melts into the warm red/orange sky, the matching purple clouds and shadows in the foreground, and how the dimming sunlight glows red on Wartortle's deep blues!

I love how the yellow and orange of the sky illuminate the lapping waves, I can just feel the gentle motion of the sea at dusk. The aqua color of the ocean matches Wartortle's ears and tail and sets off the red-orange sand, I just love how the colors are here!

Wartortle looks so round and squishy, I love its happiness as it goes frolicking through the shallows, chasing the bubbles caught in the setting sun! The shine and deep shadow on its shell give it an almost jewel texture like real tortoise shell; I love the silhouetted splash Wartortle leaves as it goes running across the shore. It's so full of energy and delight at the end of a gorgeous day! The colors in these are SO vivid and harmonized and the style is so cute and bursting with energy and joy. I just LOVE it (also Squirtle is my starter)

#pokemon #pokemon tcg #long post #i have deep affection for bulbasaur as well though and i also love the bulbasaur/ivysaur cards in this set #i SO wish we'd gotten art of the final evolutions in the same style as the pre-evos' standard cards!! #(yes i do love the full art ones but i also love the illustrations on the standard cards!) #from the way the settings in these two were going; i would have imagined blastoise to be set at night (??) #i LOVE pokemon cards. i can't keep up with every set but i started collecting again now and then a few years ago #and 151 has really got me wanting the full set the way i haven't since childhood. SO many beautiful illustrations (but there always are) #it's like having little pieces of art of my favorite characters and it's only.. slightly... less expensive than actually commissioning .... #i KNOW it's less expensive to buy the individuals online but it's so much less fun #part of the fun is having YOUR own pokemon journey ((going to the store)) and seeing what YOU encounter ((when you open the pack)) #i do buy them online sometimes but i usually dont form as strong associations with them as when i open a pack in a certain setting or place #i tend to try to save them to open right before a significant event like starting something new or a holiday. so that i form associations #and it's like 'oh that's the galarian obstagoon from when my mom came home for christmas' #and 'that's the snorlax who reassured me when i was hurt' #i don't buy them too often so i've got to make it count #anyway i know i should wait for the prices on this one to come down because it's absolutely ridiculous #i didn't buy anything at release because i was like $6 for one booster pack??? but i couldn't take just sitting and watching them sell out #i really like the poster because i can look at so many beautiful pictures all together #i could say stuff like this about literally every pokemon illustration (if i had time to write it out) and sometimes i've wanted to #i just chose these two because these are a couple of my original favorite pokemon and i just couldn't keep it to myself. i LOVE these

[theelmoarchive]

I read the mh comics the other day :D

I wanna draw all the characters, esp Jessica, but I've just been waiting to be able to read the comics specifically to draw Skully lmao they're so 💕✨💕✨💕✨

Also rare traditional art cause i draw at school all the time 🤲

#Also??? The 3.5 one????? #I fucking died #Im a brim shipper now i think #Brian :((((( #Ough #It hurt me so bad #I think that ones my favorite thing i own #THE ART TOO???? #ALL OF THEM ARE SO PRETTY #THE GLITCH EFFECTS #THE SPOOKINESS #THE LINES #THE WATERCOLOR #BEAUTIFUL #ALSO THE ARTSTYLE IN 3.5 IS EVERYTHING TO ME!! #How they drew Brian ough #Anyway #marble hornets #Mh skully #Skully #Marble hornets skully #Skully mh #marble hornets fanart #My art teehee

[leafie-draws]

it sucks how even if u have someone blocked on here you can still see their posts being reblogged by others like I keep seeing my abusive ex friend's art everywhere and it sucks! AAAAAAAAAAA

#leafie speaks #personal #like they're a pretty popular artist now so i guess it's to be expected but ugh #after knowing them on a personal level it's hard to see past the awful stuff and I can't even say who they are for my own safety like hhhhh #I just don't want to be reminded of that stuff ugh #*angry barking* #vent #AND tbh this shit happened like 10 years ago so they might be a better person now who knows idk I at least hope so #it doesn't change what they did to me and others #manipulating someone and pretending to be their friend in order to be mutuals with someone is incredibly messed up #and then copying/stealing their art and blocking them like??? #idk.. I just hope that me and the other people they've hurt can heal and learn to trust again. being an artist is hard enough.

[milkbreadtoast]

v quick christelle doodle... wanted to try drawing her webnovel hair instead of webtoon🥺

#christelle de sarnez #twsb #when the third wheel strikes back #섭남파업 #my art #i like both her designs a lot #but lately ive been wanting to draw her webnovel hair bc i've seen some rly cute arts of it #like in fanart and on the thai covers #also ngl.. cant rly articulate why but she looks more how i imagine w her webnovel design #like fsr has a more mature vibe..?? idk why tho #i do like her middle part in the webtoon tho bc it makes her look more distinct from the other chars #and reminds me of botan #i think ill start drawing her novel design more tho ive been converted #also ngl i feel a bit more freedom... #like i dont feel the (subconscious)need to copy the webtoon artstyle #ive been doing the same w jesse too... trying to deviate more from the webtoon design and do my own thing #i like how i draw him a lot more now... gonna keep experimenting w that too #and cedric too #my hand hurts ugh

[jondrettegirls]

[ID: A comic of Enjolras and Grantaire from “Les Misérables.” Grantaire is saying, “And I’ll be nice to you, ever so nice.” He takes Enjolras’s hand, and continues, “Only you must be nice to me, too.” A short silence is marked as Enjolras breaks the hold. He asks, “Are you really—attracted by me?” End ID.]

“Very much indeed.”

#this isnt relevant to barricade day #but i had these old doodles that i never liked enough to post so. might as well post smthing for barricade day pt 2 #on my own. #on my art. #les mis #barricade day #exr #does this belond in my fic tag perhaps even… sure #tbdc #enjoltaire #grantaire #enjolras #les miserables #the reason i remembered these was cuz i was trying to remember what the lyric ‘be good to me i beg of him’ reminded me of #and i realized it was ‘ill b nice to u ever so nice. only u must b nice to me too.’ #omg u know what else im thinking abt now. the whole #‘but u said we’re going to hurt each other.’ ‘do i look as if i wanted to hurt u?’ ‘one can never tell.’ ‘no. far more likely ull hurt me— #—but no matter. if im going to suffer it might as well be at your hands- your pretty hands.’ #ugh i might need to draw them w that exchange sometime

[distant-velleity]

parallels >>>>

#my art #twisted wonderland #twst #twst oc #santiago parro #chrysos pendentif #there's something about how they were both shunned for being themselves #and theyve always been cast aside in favor of someone(s) else #and theyre both used to it after experiencing it their whole lives so far #but that doesnt meant it doesnt still hurt #and knowing that feeling intimately means theyd try to avoid doing it to each other #anyway. onto more silly tags #santiago 'i cant wear my blazer properly' parro #its probably super wrinkled by now. multiple people (jamil and chrysos) have tried to get him to iron it #also as for the people theyre talking with. santiago is probably w/ basketball club ppl #while chrysos... is either with film research ppl or his own mini fanclub #tell me he doesnt have one after regularly singing at the lounge i dare you

[hella1975]

made my first dnd character ever and she's a total cunt and i love her

#her name is kaia she's a half-elf bard btw. if u even care #the DM came up with a backstory with me bc i CANNOT invent shit on the spot so i basically let him take the wheel #which im not mad about bc it's my first campaign and i was nervous and im still Weird about anything writing-related in front of others #so i kind of accepted that me just being open about my own ideas wasn't gonna happen anytime soon and will take time #and he was really good about it like didn't give me shit for not contributing he just on the fly came up with a whole ass backstory #i love being around writers it was genuinely very beautiful to watch BUT it's also very funny the backstory he came up with #bc now kaia by chance has an absent father and an incredibly close but complex relationship with her mother #and she expresses all of her emotions and anger and hurt towards these things and other experiences through her art form (music) #like? lol. lmao even. like why did he come up with that backstory SPECIFICALLY im giggling #hella goes to uni #it's our first session tonight im very excited <3

[skitskatdacat63]

It you liked my Napoleonic au, here is some Fernando from it :)

Under the cut: process

him face:

(I absolutely had to draw his Theee Musketeers look, that's honestly why I did a Ferrari alt)

I mentioned earlier how every time I opened the drawing, I'd just completely change it. Here's what I meant:

The Renault suit really lends itself to the Hussar uniform! Also the Ferrari one is kinda stunted a bit comparatively bcs I accidently drew over the Renault one so I had to recover the backlog and was afraid to touch it any further LOL

#do you ever think about how Fernando's F1 career has lasted longer than the entirety of the Napoleonic era? #because now I do. #I was thinking about how team changes would work/fit in and then realized Nando's career is longer than that whole era 💀 #ah unfortunately no history ramble this time(the hussar stuff was my thesis LMAO) #but yeah i have been thinking about how his career would align with the different kingdoms #ex. 2007 mclaren would just be him being a double agent since the uk and france are enemies atp #every time i draw Napoleonic stuff i always listen to: 1812 Overture and Viva La Vida. every time. without fail. #lmao on the third/final revision you can see how much taking a ref pic of myself for the pose helped me #its generally very difficult for me to use random pics as reference #ig irs bcs its not *exactly* what i want so i prefer to make my own :) #this is kinda based off how i kept randomly standing bcs my back hurt but instead here it is slay #im especially glad tho that i went back to redo his face/hair bcs the earlier draft isnt even really in my art style so #f1 #formula 1 #formula one #fernando alonso #fa14 #catie.art. #f1 fanart #formula 1 fanart #f1 art #formula 1 art #i accidentally posted this even tho i meant to queue it so i had to redo all of this UGH #hussar au

[wereh0gz]

Idk what's going on with me rn but. Idk what to do with a bunch of my sonic ocs anymore. Specifically ruby, their parents, the cat fam, and nox. I just don't feel like I can tell their stories at all. But I don't want to retire them either. But I still feel like I'm slowly growing. Detached?

Idk what I want to do. Maybe a revamp or something? I was already considering redesigning the twins but maybe I need a complete rewrite or something. Idk when I'd get to it tho. I've been in an art rut for a bit now. Haven't felt like drawing at all and I don't feel satisfied with the one thing I tried to make recently (which, ironically, involved ruby and the twins).

Idk what to do.

#ramblings #neg #i guess #i think part of why i feel so lost with them is bc they were meant to be part of a story #whereas characters like livewire and elysium and nebby i kinda just made for funsies? #like none of them were made to be part of anything greater #but with the others. i kind of feel like i failed them #bc i couldn't tell the story they're a part of #and honestly don't know what else to do with them #not in art or writing or. anything #and they're special to me. they really are #i've had them for years. i've been trying to write their stories nearly as long as they've existed but i kept failing #and then i gave up on it. and now it's like. they've lost their purpose? #or more like they can't fulfill their purpose bc of my own pitfalls as an artist and writer #and it hurts. like a lot #and i'm not sure what to do about it #i've been feeling really detached from my work in general and just. haven't been having as much fun with it #maybe it's depression. idk #i'm tired

[random-rabid-creature]

I want all of you to meet the project i've been working on for the past three days nonstop, my most elaborate project so far too

Meet rainbow hell, she is my favorite creation ever and i'm so incredibly proud of her

#i would like to note that all of that was sewn onto her. with my own two hand. yeowch #aslo she is not done yet. i still gotta do some work to the sides #but that's for future me to deal with. future me loves to deal with the stuff i don't deal with right now #my paws hurt #H does art #she is art to me ok

[seraphonfire]

i should probably get that checked

#i don't like explaining my art because like you should form your own opinions and stuff but this one is literally about my dental problems #that i am having right now as well as generally throughout my life #i have weak teeth (and bones) (that's why i can't get lip piercings though i really want to) #i had a really good dentist that i frequented before moving to a different city and it would be very difficult to see him now #and he has all my history like where i had nerves removed and all that and there's a lot and i don't remember all of it #and recently i got a gum infection #and i hoped it would go away on its own (based on nothing) #because i don't take care of myself until i have choice #maybe it wouldn't have gotten so bad if i saw a dentist sooner who knows #so in the end i did see a new dentist and i was like it doesn't hurt that much it's probably not that bad #and she was like no this is actually very bad and it will take a lot of time and money to fix #i was kinda saving up for a new laptop but like that's not time sensitive unlike my teeth. i need those to eat #ive never been afraid of dentists as a kid but now their prices do fill me with dread #traditional art #my art #body horror #ink drawing

[silverxcristal]

will you create a new characters or will you limit yourself to these

characters in your artistic works?

I dont create (or use) ocs that much, I like to make fanart of canon characters or other ocs ;w;

Closest to "oc" I do now at days are my gijinkas. And the few times I feel confident to share my own characters

#ask #to parraphrase my backstory (?); i did nothing but draw ocs when i was a teen and post it online #it had zero reception. for years. and i was young and didnt had the 'be your own fandom' mentality i have now where i make the art for me #but even if i have it now. the few times i share is with fear and then i dont want to risk it and get hurt again