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#my own service dog does not approve
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day 1: A Record of You and I
A diary from the mid 1700s kept by a man named Simon Snow, a farmhand for the Grimm estate. He records the death and the subsequent vampiric transformation of his close friend, and heir to the Grimm estate, Basilton Grimm.
Rating: M
Length: 4,321
Warnings: main character death/undeath. non-graphic (maybe slightly graphic) depictions of violence/blood, mentions of animal death, implied sex
Read on AO3 or below the cut
September 3rd 1742
I've never had a journal before but Basilton tells me it will help with my reading and writing. He's taught me all my letters and wants me to practice on my own now. He says he’ll continue reading to me if I like. He’ll keep helping me with handwriting too, but Basilton insists that having a personal record will do me good. Even so, I do not know what to record. Though I must not waste this lovely gift. Basilton says to write about my day, my thoughts. He must have more thoughts within him than I, for I am already out of things to say, and Basilton adds to his journal at all hours of the day. 
September 6th 1742
Today I milked the cows and took them out in the field to graze. I ate fresh bread with a lot of butter.  I did some other chores. It is late. I do not wish to write more.
September 7th 1742
Today I had porridge for breakfast, and some tasty stew Ebb made for supper. Charlie, the cattle dog, found a new favorite stick out in the pasture today, he hasn't stopped chewing it since this morning.
September 8th 1742
I hope Basil will forgive me for my short entries. It's not as if he’ll read what I put down here. Personal journals are to be personal, he tells me. So I’m just meant to speak to myself? I will keep at it, if only to gain more surety in my handwriting. 
September 9th 1742
It is Sunday, I went to Mass. Basilton came to the cabin after the service. Brought me some scones Vera made. Sir Grimm does not approve of his son spending so much time with a farmhand, Basilton told me of another scolding he got earlier this week. I do not know why he spends time with me, against his father’s wishes, but I will not stop him. We ate lunch together. I enjoyed the food, and the company more. Basilton would call me a liar if he read that, my love of scones is rarely bested by anything, but Basilton is a good friend to me. 
Everything feels so easy with Basil. He can make me laugh no matter what, even when he's poking fun at me. We talked for hours yesterday, and he listened when I spoke about my days, my observations of the cattle. Basil worries I work too hard, but I don't do much really, and I enjoy the labor. Besides, what else am I to do with my time? We discussed a poem Basil had read to me a few weeks ago. I am not usually one for poetry, but Basilton speaks about poems in a way that makes sense to me. I thought him unbearably arrogant when I first started working for his family, speaking of literature constantly and looking down his big nose at me. He still is arrogant at times, but now that we are friends I know he is also kind and caring and truly intelligent. He speaks of his sisters often, and how he worries he won’t meet his father’s expectations. He remains unmarried and this troubles Sir Grimm. 
But Basilton has land to inherit and good social standing. He has many admirable qualities, and it goes without saying that he is handsome. He should have no trouble finding a wife. I said this to Basilton today but he became uncomfortable. Quickly, he brushed it off and picked up a new topic of conversation. This has happened before, I do not know if it’s the subject of marriage, or if he is too modest a man, but many times I have stated his good qualities, only for Basiton to blush and deny them, or leave the conversation. 
September 20th 1742
I ate Turkey for supper yesterday. One of the bulls charged at me today because I looked at him wrong. Bastard. Gareth made me help him till the field today. Another bastard. He said he couldn’t get it done in time without help, despite the crops being his and his sons’ job, and the cattle being mine. 
Went to the pub with Ebb, the goatherd yesterday. She told me a great joke about goats but I was drunk and can't remember it now. I might ask her to tell me it again.  
September 22nd 1742
Today was an easy day, I fiddled with my carving knife while out in the field. Made a little wooden Charlie but when I showed it to him the blasted dog chewed it up. I tried to stop him but then I just laughed. I suppose I’m glad he found my carving nice enough to devour. 
September 30th 1742
Basilton visited today. He brought me some of his books, said I could keep them, since I mentioned how much I liked the last one he read to me. I thanked him for the books, he is so kind to me. I do not know if I will ever read them though. Perhaps I should not have taken them. It’s not that I am ungrateful, I just didn’t know how to tell Basilton I mostly enjoy hearing his voice read to me, more than I care about the contents of the books. I am sad as this probably means he will not continue reading aloud to me. 
October 1st 1742
I’ve not been writing as much as I feel I should. I fear my life is just not that interesting. Basilton tells me it’s plenty interesting. He’ll listen to my stories about cattle and Charlie without complaint. Gareth tells me my stories are boring though. “Who cares if a calf was born with a spot that looks just like a field mouse?” he said to me when I told that story at the pub last week. As if throwing seeds on the ground makes for great stories. 
October 8th 1742
I found some poppies in the field, the first of the fall. I picked a couple of the red flowers. Gave them to Basil when he came round my cottage in the evening. He tried to resist them but I insisted. I told him it was repayment for the books he left with me. That wasn't all true, I just wanted to share the beauty of those little things with him. Basilton accepted the flowers then, I do hope he likes them. I cannot offer him much more, though I wish I had more to give to my friends. 
October 10th 1742
I tried carving a flower out of wood but I cocked it up. I might try again with a thicker stick.
October 12th 1742
The cattle are well. The sun is shortening our days. I heard a bird song I did not recognize today, while out in the field. It was lovely. I must start saving up for a new winter coat, mine is threadbare and has not been keeping me warm enough as the world gets colder. Basilton tells me he’s going deer stalking with his cousins in a few days. He will be gone for at least a month. It will be their first hunt of the season. 
October 15th 1742
Basilton left today. I tended to the cattle. I tried to brush off the sadness that seemed to hang over the day. Perhaps the cloudy days are affecting my mood, or the cold weather. I might just sleep early today. 
October 30th 1742
He died. On that trip he
November 25th 1742
I went to Mass today. I sat alone. I tried to welcome the Holy Spirit but I feel so alone in this world. I grieve Basil every waking moment. I thought this would pass, it’s been nearly a month and still the wound is as fresh as the day I learned of his death. I’ve never had someone to lose before, like this. I loved him deeply, as if he were my own family I have come to realize. I find myself almost grateful that I did not know my parents, that I will not, one day, have to grieve them as well.
The Lord’s Day is the most painful, God forgive my soul for saying so. I cannot distract myself with work. I try to pray, but my mind wanders ever back to my lost friend. I grow tired of writing, but I will not put down this journal forever, Basilton wouldn't want me to.
November 27th 1742
I woke up this morning to something strange. I found one of the cows dead in the field. I hadn’t noticed any signs of sickness in the herd, but there were also no signs of an animal attack. There was no wound I could find, no blood. She looked strange, I cannot say why, though. It was as if something was missing, from beneath the skin. I told Sir Grimm, and the other farmhands, in case there is sickness in the herd. I’ll be keeping a closer watch on the cattle.
November 29th 1742
I visited Basilton’s grave this evening. It did me no good. I only felt the pain of loss much stronger standing there, reading his gravestone. It was as if there were a stake ran through my chest. I could hardly breathe through the sobs that came out of me. It was so strange, knowing Basilton was so close, only two meters or so below where I stood, and yet he was impossibly far. 
It does me little good to dwell on these negative feelings. 
November 30th 1742
I try to fill my days with actions. I inspect the cows twice, three times over, to check for any signs of decaying health. I pace the perimeter of the field while they graze. I help Gareth work the land when I should be resting. I chop enough firewood for this winter and the next two. I stay too long at the pub and drink more than I can afford. I imagine spots in my cabin that need cleaning, and I scrub and scrub and scrub until the pain in my hands is all that I can feel. And yet, I still ache for the companionship of Bailston. What am I to do with myself?
December 1st 1742
I cannot stop thinking of Basilton. Truly, I never stopped thinking of him, even when he was alive and with me. The Grimm family told us he was trampled by his own horse, fell off it while hunting. In quiet moments my mind creates imaginations of his last terrible moments. When I lay in bed, if I am not drunk as a lord, I cannot sleep for hours. I pray to God for a miracle, but my pleas are left unanswered. I know it to be foolish, but I cannot help myself. I would do anything for Basilton. Anything to see him again. 
December 4th 1742
I do not want to write this, but I feel I must. I saw Basilton last night. I know, I know that he is dead, and God willing, he is at peace in heaven. But I came home from the pub late last night, crawled into bed, then, I saw Basil in my room, as if he were alive. He did not look ghostly, no, he looked as if he had new life coursing through him. His skin flush. His smile wide. There were no signs he had ever been dead. 
I cried out, I could not help it. He came to me, to my bed. I sat up to meet him. And he held me. A hand pressed to my chest, the other wrapped around my back. His dark hair against my chin as he rested his face to my collar bone. We did not speak. I feared I would wake from the dream. And it must have been a dream. 
I woke up this morning half expecting to see Basilton about the grounds, as if his death was a nightmare I could finally wake from. But he was not here, of course not. My mind has been so fixed on Basilton it only makes sense he would creep into my dreams.
December 5th 1742
It happened again, last night, I was not asleep this time. I was changing into my night clothes, when Basil appeared to me. I did not hear him come in. My candle cast his shadow against the wall. He must have been standing there as flesh and bone, not as a ghost or a vision. He wore regular clothes, not the burial shroud–made from his own family’s wool–that he was laid to rest in. He had on his purple vest with yellow embroidered flowers. It was one of his favorites, he told me years ago. Again he did not speak, but he touched my hand. He was so cool. a welcome feeling; I was so hot. I pulled him into an embrace. I whispered his name, I did not know what else I could do. I swear to God, he spoke my name in response.
Suddenly I felt so tired, so drained. Likely the day’s work catching up to me. I tried to fight the urge to sleep, but my eyes closed before I could watch Basilton leave, or say anything more to him.
December 6th 1742
Another cow, and one of the bulls have died, for the same mysterious reason as the first cow. The herd was restless yesterday, as if they could sense misfortune in the air, but I could not do anything to prevent their deaths. I do not even know what I need to be protecting them from.  
I am worried, and unsettled.
December 8th 1742
The night before this last I stayed up, hoping to see my old friend again, though he never came. But last night I saw Basilton again. He spoke this time, only my name. My heart filled with joy to hear my friend’s deep voice call me Simon after I was sure we’d never be able to speak to each other again in this life. He sat beside me on the bed. I told him I had missed him. He placed a cool hand on my cheek, looked into my eyes. His were a familiar light grey, but he wore an expression I couldn't make sense of.
Then, he kissed me. I hesitate to write these words. He must be a sodomite. I have always heard such men are evil, but I could never think of Basilton that way. He's always been so lovely. 
And the worst part is that I kissed him back. The best part is that I kissed him back. I have not kissed anyone before. He was so soft against my lips. So cool. His hand held my jaw, and his tongue pressed against my lips. An elation sprung up within me that I cannot describe. I held him tightly, wanting more than anything for this moment to last forever. I couldn’t help but think he should have done this sooner. We should have done this when Basil was still living. 
Oh God! I weep remembering that he is dead. 
Basilton kissed farther down my neck, across my collar bones, left kisses on my chest so hard they hurt. I did not stop him. He didn't go farther than my bosom, but-
I wanted him to. I felt as if under a spell, wrapped up in a world of pleasure balanced by the slightest pain. I wanted more, wanted all of him , but before I knew it I was awake, and alone, as the morning sun shown through my window. 
I was slow in my work today. Gareth noticed, told me I should not be so lazy. My body betrays me, I feel so weak.
December 13th 1742
Basilton visits me nightly now. I welcome his touches, his hard kisses. I walk through my days now, dreaming of night. 
The cows have begun to distrust me, they put up a fight when I try to milk them, and a few are no longer eating. I do not know why. Sir Grimm, despite having experience with livestock, seemed just as perplexed as I when I brought up the strange deaths and behaviors of his herd. Though, I know his mind is elsewhere, the mourning clothes he and Madam Grimm wear are a constant reminder of their loss.
I hear whispers at the pub of ghost sightings. I hear gossip from the house servants that the Grimm children wake up screaming in the nights now. 
December 19th 1742
The weather gets worse. I feel frozen to the bone. My hands hurt daily. My work gets harder, as more animals under my care drop dead, and my strength seems to dwindle with each moment. The waking world has no joy, no pleasure left. But I go through each day, waiting for night. Only at night can I remember what happiness is. Basilton comes to me. He holds me, and we kiss for hours. Basil leaves marks and bruises on my skin but I welcome it. My hands praise the skin he uncovers for me. We commit sins I never knew could bring such pleasures. 
December 20th 1742
I admit, I have not allowed myself to consider how or why Basilton appears to me alive, when I know he was laid in his grave two months ago. I just cannot think of it, I cannot search for reasons to distrust this gift I have. I may be a fool, or a doomed sodomite, but I cannot find it in me to fight what is happening. I cannot consider this to be anything but good or I might truly lose myself. 
December 24th 1742
Last night was disturbing. Basilton came to my room as usual. We kissed, and lay together, and I felt so joyous, but quickly the tides turned. He pinned my naked body to the bed. He sat over me and tore at my flesh with his bare hands. I cried out but I could not stop him. Some dark part of me did not want to stop him. Basilton lapped up the blood that poured from my chest like a starved dog. The unGodly sight did things to me. As if possessed by something, I craved his bloodshed.
I do not know what is wrong with me. 
I awoke with deep wounds on my chest. A mess of horror and lust arose within me as I touched the raised flesh, the dried blood. I know this is not natural, this is not holy. I should seek out a doctor, or a priest, but I can't stand the thought of losing my dear Basil again. I would open up a vein for him. I would tie our hearts together for eternity if it meant Basilton could be mine. 
December 25th 1742
It is Christmas Day. A holiday that should be full of cheer. Basil once told me it was his favorite holiday, so it holds an extra special meaning for me. I wish he had been here, enjoying the day. I try not to be too sad, he will be here soon, arriving with the stars in the sky.  
Ebb spent the day with me. I gave her a small wooden goat I carved. She does not say it but I know she misses her brother most around this time of year. I tried to be there for her, as I pretended not to notice the tears running down her red cheeks. But I found it hard to care. All my thoughts were consumed by anticipation for my next visit with Basilton. I know that is terrible. I tried to fight it, to focus on the friend I had with me at the moment, but I struggled. My mind, and my heart are trapped in a world with only Basilton and myself. A world no one else could understand. 
December 26th 1742 
Basilton attacked me again last night. My neck, chest, and stomach are covered in signs of his violent affection. Oh my dear God, I try to feel remorse, to summon disgust at our actions, but it is just not there within me. My mind is a haze of painful pleasure, my thoughts, along with my flesh and blood, fully consumed by Basilton. He is a fallen angel. He is a monster, and I must be one as well, but I have no will to change that. 
I love him. I’ll love him no matter what we become. 
I found more cattle dead this morning. Now nearly a third of the herd is gone. This time they have markings to match the wounds on my chest. 
I told Ebb about the deaths, she told me a few goats have passed as well. I will tell the baronet tomorrow. 
December 27th 1742
I went to tell Sir Grimm about the dead cows this morning. 
In the manor I overheard the baronet and baronetess speaking of another attack last night. I stopped myself short of the doorway into Sir Grimm’s study. I stood in the hallway, slowing my breath to hear them through the door. 
“Mordelia saw Basilton again last night. He hurt her, picked her up and left scratches on her back,” Daphne said to Malcolm. Sir Grimm stated he’s seen their son some nights as well. I became jealous upon hearing these words, at learning I was not the only one Basil is giving attention to. A foolish thought, of course he would want to see his family. But they spoke of him in fearful tones. They do not know my sweet Basil is only full of love. 
“He is a vampire,” Sir Grimm said. I had to stop myself from crying out. Madam Grimm gasped, begged him no. Sir Grimm mumbled something comforting. “It must be done. He’s not our son anymore, Daphne, he is an evil creature.” 
A vampire. The livestock dying, the frightened children, and my nightly visits from Basilton, all signs of a vampire. Dear God, Basil did not deserve such a fate!! I know what they will do to him: dig up his grave, stake his heart, cut off his head, and burn him to ashes. 
He will be gone forever. 
I cannot bear the thought! 
I know now what I must do, and I must do it quickly. 
Later on the 27th
Hastily, I have made my preparations. I could not risk Sir Grimm getting to Basilton first. I am prepared to go tonight. 
December 28th 1742
I went to Basilton’s grave late last night. I was the only soul awake besides the owls. I brought along a lantern, a shovel, a small pack with all my coin and what few possessions I care to keep, and a small wheelbarrow I took from the barn. The light of my lantern guided me through the familiar trees and headstones, until I found the name Basilton Grimm carved into stone. 
The rain poured down endlessly. The wet earth offered little resistance to my shovel, but digging was not quick work. The wind put out my lantern thrice. I gave up relighting, nothing would stop me. I had a singular purpose. I felt as if I’d been guided here, to this moment, to save my love. 
After hours of labor, my shovel kissed the wood of a coffin, I nearly collapsed from relief, and exhaustion. Prying the lid from my Basil’s prison was harder than I had expected. Once I had it off, I threw it from the hole. 
I wept. There was my dearest Basilton asleep in his coffin. I relit the lantern. I fell to my knees, sharing the cramped space with him. The light revealed a blood-stained mouth and burial shroud. His hair was a little longer, more lustrous than in life, his skin ruddy and plump. I worried I would find his face smashed, his body mangled from horses’ hooves, but he was unmarked and as beautiful as ever. His hands were free from his shroud, also bloody. 
These are all signs of a vampire, but I could not care. I had to reach out to touch his cold flesh.
I had to kiss him. 
My lips met his, and in that coffin, surrounded by earth, over the sound of the attacking rain, Basil softly moaned. I swear I heard it. I swear his lips moved against mine.  
Elated with indescribable joy I tried to wake him more, desperate for proof he really was living. He did not open his eyes, or speak to me, or move. But when I pressed my ear to his chest I heard the drum of his heart beat steadily. 
My sweet Basilton alive! Now that I have him, I will let no harm come to him. I will keep Basil safe from those who want to kill him again. 
It is early morning now, the sun is just starting to peak over the land in the East. This will be my last entry. I shall leave my journal here, in my Basilton’s empty grave, in case anyone is searching for us. I care not who reads these words, they will not find us. I will be far away, with my love, finally happy. 
(A note placed in the back of the journal)
Dearest Simon, 
I hope this journal will be of use to you. I do believe keeping a journal will help you continue improving your literacy. And perhaps it will aid in other ways. I find it helps to have a private place for one's thoughts and feelings. My journals are a great comfort to me. 
Beyond that, I must admit I do enjoy the thought that there will be a record of you and of I. That people may know who we were, and that we were good friends.
Yours truly, 
Tyrannus Basilton Grimm
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mariana-oconnor · 7 months
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The Missing Three Quarter pt 2
Back to the rugby players.
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It argues the degree in which I had lost touch with my profession that the name of Leslie Armstrong was unknown to me.
I told you Watson had forgotten all his medical knowledge. In the last story he didn't even prescribe brandy. smh
Yet even without knowing his brilliant record one could not fail to be impressed by a mere glance at the man, the square, massive face, the brooding eyes under the thatched brows, and the granite moulding of the inflexible jaw. A man of deep character, a man with an alert mind, grim, ascetic, self-contained, formidable—so I read Dr. Leslie Armstrong.
Obligatory reblog of Watson's horny descriptions. He's having a moment.
“I have heard your name, Mr. Sherlock Holmes, and I am aware of your profession, one of which I by no means approve.”
Sorry, Watson. Looks can be deceiving. Obviously we must immediately hate him for this point of view. It is demanded.
"At the present moment, for example, I should be writing a treatise instead of conversing with you.”
Oh fuck you and your self-important nonsense. A guy is missing. You're either a pompous arsehole or you're involved. Yeah, yeah. You're renowned throughout Europe.
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“He is an intimate friend of mine.” “You are aware that he has disappeared?” “Ah, indeed!” There was no change of expression in the rugged features of the doctor.
Yeah, he knows something. Look, this guy is terrible. He's just the worst. I hate him. Godfrey has some terrible friends and a terrible relative. I hope he's run off somewhere with someone who appreciates him and cares about his interests and his well-being.
A pompous butler ushered us severely to the door, and we found ourselves in the street. Holmes burst out laughing.
I agree, he is ridiculous. Also how pompous must the butler be to be described as pompous after meeting that man?
“It's been out three hours,” said Holmes; “started at half-past six, and here it is back again. That gives a radius of ten or twelve miles, and he does it once, or sometimes twice, a day.” “No unusual thing for a doctor in practice.”
Watson, let's face it, you don't know what's usual for a doctor in practice. Your carriage went out in the middle of the night and didn't return for a week. You are an anomaly and should not be counted.
"I do not know whether it came from his own innate depravity or from the promptings of his master, but he was rude enough to set a dog at me. Neither dog nor man liked the look of my stick, however, and the matter fell through. Relations were strained after that..."
Were they? How unexpected. I've made all my best friends after they've threatened to set a dog on me and I've threatened to beat them with a stick. If you can't be friends after that, how do you even make friends at all?
"...but, now that I find he keeps so keen a look-out upon anyone who may follow him on these excursions, the affair appears more important, and I shall not be satisfied until I have made the matter clear.”
Doctor Armstrong is really bad at dealing with this all. I know Holmes has made admiring comments a few times, but really the man should have shown some concern over his 'intimate friend' going missing, and he shouldn't have piqued Holmes' interest about his carriage ride. He should have just gone someone entirely mundane that it would be completely reasonable for him to go multiple times a day, and left it at that.
"You are not familiar with Cambridgeshire scenery, are you? It does not lend itself to concealment. All this country that I passed over to-night is as flat and clean as the palm of your hand..."
Can vouch for this. Have driven through Cambridgeshire on numerous occasions. Very flat.
'Meanwhile, I can inform you that no spying upon me can in any way help Mr. Godfrey Staunton, and I am convinced that the best service you can do to that gentleman is to return at once to London and to report to your employer that you are unable to trace him.'
I assume from this that Godfrey doesn't want his uncle to find him. My best bet at this moment is that he's got a girlfriend his uncle wouldn't approve of, who is ill perhaps? idk. I'm clutching at straws right now.
“No, no, my dear fellow, there is no cause for alarm. It is not upon this occasion the instrument of evil, but it will rather prove to be the key which will unlock our mystery. On this syringe I base all my hopes."
Holmes, that statement really is not as reassuring as you think it is.
When we descended I followed Holmes into the stable yard, where he opened the door of a loose-box and led out a squat, lop-eared, white-and-tan dog, something between a beagle and a foxhound.
PUPPY!
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And on the side of good? Watson's not going to have to shoot this one?
Who's the best boy in this story? Such a good boy, Pompey! Such a good boy.
I caught a glimpse of Dr. Armstrong within, his shoulders bowed, his head sunk on his hands, the very image of distress.
Ah, so he does have emotions other than arrogance. How unexpected.
A woman, young and beautiful, was lying dead upon the bed. Her calm, pale face, with dim, wide-opened blue eyes, looked upward from amid a great tangle of golden hair.
So I may not have been that far off the mark with a relationship that his uncle would not approve of with a sick woman.
“You are a good fellow,” said he. “I had misjudged you. I thank Heaven that my compunction at leaving poor Staunton all alone in this plight caused me to turn my carriage back, and so to make your acquaintance."
Nope, sorry. Still don't like you. I get you were a dick to try and protect your friend, good for you. Cool motive, still an arsehole. You can still be nice to people you're lying to. You don't have to be a dick. It might even help you throw them off the scent.
...or is it worse to be nice in order to manipulate people instead of just letting them know you're being an arsehole?
I guess he's not actually a terrible friend. He's just bad at acting. He might as well have put a sign on his forehead saying 'I am suspicious'.
"A year ago Godfrey Staunton lodged in London for a time, and became passionately attached to his landlady's daughter, whom he married. She was as good as she was beautiful, and as intelligent as she was good."
I'd like to register how impressed I am that 'intelligent' makes the list of her virtues at all, even if it is third. That is probably just my cynicism talking, though.
"But at last there came a terrible blow in the shape of dangerous illness to his wife. It was consumption of the most virulent kind."
Of course it was consumption. If a beautiful, kind young woman in this era died of a terrible illness it was always consumption.
Or brain fever, I guess.
"The result was that he came straight away in a state bordering on frenzy, and has remained in the same state, kneeling at the end of her bed, until this morning death put an end to her sufferings. That is all, Mr. Holmes, and I am sure that I can rely upon your discretion and that of your friend.”
Well this is just a very tragic story. And it might not even have been a story if Holmes had just told Dr Armstrong that he wasn't working for Godfrey's uncle in the first place. Although Dr Armstrong seemed determined to dislike him from the start.
Very sad. And Godfrey can't even tell his friends on the rugby team why he wasn't there without risking his uncle finding out.
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But we got to meet Pompey, so that was a good thing. I hope he got lots of treats after working so hard.
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mishasdirt · 9 months
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My disability headcanons about Heavy
Hey uh, this post talks about PTSD, panic attacks and trauma so don't read this if you are not feeling good :]
Heavy has Autism and PTSD, he wasn't diagnosed with either until he came to base, since he very rarely went to a doctor and furthermore went to a mental health professional
for the most part he doesn't have too many issues with Autism, he's quiet, but he has a very large issue with texture.
bad textures are one of the few things that can make him meltdown
when he stims he does the hand flaps, however its so quick and concise that most people think he's just shaking out nerves.
his PTSD causes way way way more issues for him, he was diagnosed with this first.
his biggest struggle is with loud and specifically unpredictable noises, this is why he can go into battle, he can predict the gunshots
him and thunderstorms are not friends, he does really bad in them
for months him and medic were unable to find good treatment, they tried many things like journaling and art therapy, however his panic attacks were brutal and actually got him in the med bay a couple times.
cries during panic attacks, he always feels ashamed, none of the mercs tease him for it because they all know what its like (wahoo lets go toxic masculinity!)
as a last attempt, they tried a service dog for him. A large saint bernard which was named Copper. While the Administrator did not approve, Ms Pauling fought for the dog to be allowed on base, as it was a treatment that was actually working for heavy.
eventually the Administrator caved, and allowed the dog on base
Copper does not go into battles, she has a tiny room for herself with all her needs and a doggy door to go outside to a yard, she is left there during battles.
Copper is trained to do three things, help with dissacoation, help with panic attacks and to help him take care of himself.
when Heavy dissacoiates, she will place her paws on his legs and encourage him to play with her, this helps to keep him grounded. She also will lay on his lap if he needs a grounding sensation
During panic attacks, she is trained to recognize them, and to help with them. When she recognizes a panic attack she will grab a weighted blanket (these are placed around base in an easy access for her) and will place the weighted blanket on him
she will then lay on him and use her weight to help him cope
with her, panic attacks are very short and only last about 5-10 minutes, which is a massive improvement.
has learned ways of communication with all of the mercs, they were all debriefed on this and understand her. If she barks at you, she wants your attention. If she snarls at you (specifically with heavy) that is her protecting him. If she places her paw on your hand she wants you to follow her.
she uses the hand the most frequently, she often uses this to request for things like food and water, or playtime.
she has also used this to help heavy, for example, ask for water or food for him. Sometimes Copper will lead medic straight to him when asked.
she uses the follow action most frequently to help heavy remember to take care of himself. She'll guide him to the fridge to remind him to eat, she'll guide him to the bathroom sink if he doesn't remember to brush his teeth, or will guide him to bed
she is very good at being a companion for insomnia, and she helps any merc who struggles to sleep.
she is very loved on base by every merc, they all give her own gifts. Not only are they all thankful that shes there to help Heavy, but she is also just a wonderful and badass dog.
she gets so many doggy treats
I personally don't have a service dog so please feel free to educate me if I have stereotyped or something similiar! I hope you enjoy this :]
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waitingtobebroken · 2 years
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So since I’m in the steddy hands tag every day like it’s my morning paper, I decided I might as well rec my own fic. It's mostly just fluff with Izzy taking care of Stede like he does with Ed and Stede being absolutely oblivious to it, like he is with most things...
Summary:
"You will show respect to the Captain, dog," Izzy growled. He didn't mean Edward. Izzy's love language is acts of service. Here are five times he took care of Stede.
Additional Tags:
Not Canon Compliant, Izzy never leaves after the duel, Soft Israel Hands, he expresses his love via acts of service, so here he is taking care of Stede, No Angst, just love, Listen this is mostly Stede/Izzy, But Edward is there and he absolutely approves, Israel Hands Redemption, Israel Hands Has Feelings, also his idea of flirting is yelling, but we knew that already, Fluff, Humor
Excerpt:
"You will show respect to the Captain, dog."
Stede winced at the all-too-familiar growl and turned around to face Izzy. There he was, innocently minding his business, trying to make sure nobody got hurt during the raid and avoiding all swords pointed at him. He wasn't even anywhere near Edward. What the Heaven did Izzy think he had done now?
But Izzy wasn't even looking at him, looming over the captain of the ship, his rapier digging into the column of the man's neck. One of his feet was propped against the man's chest, holding him down on the ground.
"I'd rather die than submit to a ponce," the man growled, then spit blood on Izzy's shoe. Stede almost felt sorry for him. Or would have, if the man hadn't just called Edward a ponce. 
Izzy shrugged. Removed his boot from the man's chest. He was smiling, terrifying and sharp, as he said, "Then you die."
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aftermathing · 6 months
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why wont your psych approve a service dog?
im curious because i got my SD for a similar reason (unable to leave house due to severity of PTSD symptoms). i would like to give some advice if i can, however, im not sure if theres any specific reason your psych may not think a SD is best for you (ex. finances, ability to care for dog, access to dog training).
My psych says she wants to help ease my symptoms using medication and therapy before anything, and also seems concerned about if I had to go to the hospital for whatever reason and had to leave the dog in my school dorm. She suggested I volunteer at a shelter if I wanted to play with animals so much, which is kind of infantilising and not the reason I want a PSD. She's clearly ignorant on the subject, but I can't insist or reason much with her because I only see her about once a month.
Edit: Oh yeah! She also said that diagnosis does not equal disability, and that being diagnosed with PTSD does not on its own qualify me for a PSD, which goes against what I learned in my research but I'm not sure...
Thank you for replying!! :))
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asynca · 1 year
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Hey! So, after a long time of wanting to read Under My Skin I finally bought it, and its sequel, through Smashwords, since I had already bought Solver for i there. The thing is, and I hope you don't take this the wrong way, because maybe you took care of that, but the editing, as in the formatting of the text (like how it's distributed on the page) was a bit of a mess.
And that was only on the surface, because the html looked like it has been edited by 3 or 4 people at the same time, each using different methods. Like I said, I don't mean anything bad with that, and normally I'd keep quiet and just fix it for my personal use, but I love Solve for i, and by extension your writing, too much to leave it at that.
I dunno if you'd be interested to change the versions there with my own, and maybe that's too presumptuous of me, but if you are and want to see what I did, let me know, I can send you a few comparison photos I made.
Once again, I hope I don't offend you in any way with this message and if I do, I apologize. In no way this is meant to be a critique of your work or the skill of the person that edited the book.
And I am by no means a professional, but I am an very obsessive perfectionist and have a long story of re-editing ebooks and audiobooks to calm my OCD, to the point I spend more time editing than actually reading or listening.
But maybe it was done like that because you wanted it like that and I'm just being an idiot, in which case feel free to ignore me or tell me to fuck off, whichever you prefer. In any case, I'd rather no one sees this ask besides you, so if you want to see those comparisons, just make a post that says something like "Send me those pics, OCD nonnie."
I'll obviously do it by DM, I'm only doing this through anon because I'm too scared of you getting angry and knowing my name, even if it's just my online name. A bit spineless and pathetic of my, but the idea of you being angry at me, even though anon, is already making me feel a bit sick.
Anyways, sorry for the wall of text, it happens when I'm either excited or too nervous/anxious. I hope you have an awesome day. I know I will, because I'll be reading Under My Skin. Bye!!
Huh, does it look like a dog's breakfast? I don't do the eBook editing myself, but I do check the copies on my PC and phone (and tablet, for .epub and .mobi). My understanding was that books don't get approved for mass distribution by Smashwords if the formatting is terrible.
Not disbelieving you at all, I just haven't personally seen it.
Very happy to receive screenshots of the poor formatting so I can speak to the service who set it up for me. There's no need for you to use your precious time doing it! You could be reading loads more book <3
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nickgerlich · 1 year
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Speed Matters
A couple of days ago I wrote about the latest in robotic food prep, but in the context of that blog, I also mentioned how Texas A&M University students were now receiving Amazon purchases by drone. And I thought, “Well, it’s about time.”
How much time? Nine years, to be exact. So much for speed. And it is such a monumental thing today that Amazon is making headlines as it rolls out their fleet of MK27-2 drones in both College Station Texas and Lockeford California.
And just for fun, I drilled back—waaaay back—in the archives of The Daily Blog to find what I wrote about it all on 3rd December 2013. People were laughing at Jeff Bezos for his seemingly preposterous idea. Rednecks were salivating at the prospects of shooting these things out of the air. Naysayers had dozens of reasons why they would never work.
Bezos was both right and wrong. They eventually did come to fruition, but he estimated it would only take three or four years to work out the kinks, paramount of which was gaining FAA approval. But now he’s cleared for takeoff.
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Of course, there are still some limitations. Packages are limited to five pounds. And while maximum speed is a jaw-dropping 50mph, they only have a 12km range. That’s 7.2 miles in American, or basically a 3 1/2-mile radius from the warehouse. And that’s only on days without precipitation.
Only pre-screened items qualify for drone delivery, which means no breakables. Amazon beefs up the shipping materials anyway, because it is dropped from a height of 12 feet. Heat sensors will stop the delivery if the drone senses a dog waiting below. Or a redneck.
As if these new launches weren’t enough, Amazon has also announced the replacement of this model, a smaller, lighter unit that can also fly in the rain. The new MK30 will go into service in 2024, which is not all that far away.
Drones are the future of delivery, in spite of the fact that Amazon is also rolling out the first 1000 Rivian EV delivery vans it has purchased from the new startup. They plan to have 100,000 of them within a few years. While these new vans will be cheaper and cleaner to operate in the long run, drones offer last-mile advantages that push them over the top. They make it easier to deliver small purchases as fast as humanly possible, faster even than sending out a driver who must then deal with traffic, lights, and the lay of the roads. After all, vans can’t travel as the crow—or drone—flies.
It’s not just speed, though. If overall vehicular traffic can be reduced, the benefits will be significant. Congestion will be reduced, as will emissions. The environment can thank Bezos later.
Of course, it’s not just Amazon joining the drone party. Once Bezos announced his intentions, others took note and started making their own moves. Among at least 10 companies with plans to utilize drone technology, two notables are FedEx and UPS. The same benefits will accrue to them.
It’s not hard to imagine where this is all going. DoorDash and Uber Eats could just as easily use drones, especially if there aren’t liquids involved in the delivery. I could run outside to the fountain to wait for my lunch to be delivered. Plus, I won’t have to tip the drone.
Pharmacies could also benefit, along with the people relying on meds. Instead of having to venture out, or, once again, have a delivery driver, prescriptions could be whisked to their recipients. I doubt any of those parcels would come close to five pounds.
The low-level airspace is going to rapidly fill up in the years ahead. I hope that the drones to come have radar of some kind to keep there from being mid-air collisions. Given time, I’m sure this will all be figured out. It may be longer than sooner, though, just as Bezos found out.
But in the end, speed really does matter.
Dr “Mine Drone Business“ Gerlich
Audio Blog
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suntiger745 · 7 months
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A mix of Fallout 4 and Baldur's gate 3 characters. I haven't made that much progress in the storylines for either game, but I *have* made a bunch more characters. :D
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Boss Barracuda (real name Nicole). Getting into middle age she's pretty old for a raider and has seen some shit. Her second in command Sully thought it was time for a younger, smarter and more ambitious person to lead and betrayed her with some of the people of their band he'd convinced to join him. He didn't kill her though, and Barracuda very much intends to show him that she's still got what it takes be the boss. Even if it means joining forces, temporarily at least, with a freakin' boy scout.
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Amber, gnome beast master ranger, for a playthrough where the goal is "Summons for Everyone!" who I have in the party.
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Li'xaeth, githyanki wizard. Pays lip service to Vlaakith, but wants to gain knowledge and power by her own skill and means. Does not like how restrictive githyanki society is. Also, since githyanki start with medium armor proficiency, I intend to make a heavily armored wizard. ;)
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Nimiel - celestial succubus, infiltrator and scout. Because sometimes the Heavens wants to take a more subtle approach. Best friends with Lauriel, the guardian angel (who is currently in the form of a big, white dog).
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Lovendia Suvaris, drow cleric of Lolth. Not a very good cleric. Oh she does all the rituals, torture and say all the right prayers, but her superiors can tell her heart's not really in it. She's, frankly, a nerd. She loves studying the natural world; spiders, fungi, plants, animals. Even wild magic and other humanoids. So they sent her on a research mission, where she can't nag her senior cleric about studying spiders and myconids (for the glory of Lolth, of course!) and be less of a disappointment to her mother. The sunlight is a bit of a bother, but so far even getting a tadpole in her brain after getting snatched up by ilithids have been a more interesting four days than the previous five years in her opinion.
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Styx, my "came back wrong from the cryo sleep" character receives a reward from Ug'Qualtoth for killing the woman that was almost a friend to her. Now she has a new friend! And there's more to discover, the voice in her head promises.
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Life's hard for a deep gnome orphan on the streets of Baldur's Gate. Stinger survived though. Although barely sometimes. But she got into a good gang, the Bugs, and got a mentor in an older male who looked after her. (Like really old. 19, or even 20!) She grew up, learned to fight. She had good eyesight and a steady hand, so being the gang's lookout and marksman was a natural fit for her. And then she got snatched up by a nautiloid. Things after that got fuckin' weird.
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Rajadi was an erinyes that got on the bad side of Zariel. She got her wings ripped off and was cast into another reality. Frankly, she doesn't mind too much being out of the Blood War, but she really wants her wings back. And to get them back, she has to do enough deeds and/or damage to catch Zariel's attention again. Which is both easier and harder than it seems in a place like the Commowealth of 2287.
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Also started a Lae'zel playthrough. Stomping the ilithid to death in the crashed Nautiloid looks especially good with her. :)
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Sometimes two friends are a mutant from the remnants of Germany who dresses like a pre-war comic book character and a wastelander who wants to make really good maps. :)
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Mikal Erendis, my war cleric of Helm, does Not Approve of Kagha's idea of disproportional sense of "justice" against offending minors.
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wendylawton · 1 year
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Local Competition
The pet industry is BOOMING! Three main competitors of my business are Walmart, Global Pet Foods, and Diggin' Up Bones. It's important to take a look at them as competitors to zero in on what will set my company apart!
Walmart: Big box store!! So many items are offered here and they do sell pet food, treats and supplies however that is not their main business so they do not offer the variety that specific pet stores offer. Their prices are good (although sometimes I've noticed the big box grocery store is a bit cheaper for some items which is surprising!). The website is user friendly and breaks down the options for each sub category under pets. They offer shipping, which is convenient and in some cases it's free! They also offer "click and collect" shopping so items can be picked up in store although there is a chance your item might be out of stock so you could be shorted or other similar items may be substituted if you approve in advance. They have lots of reviews for their items. They do have a Facebook page and post somewhat regularly with informative posts. There are lots of customers complaining on the posts so that makes one wonder about customer service. Not a great image or impression for those browsing. They also have an Instagram account. Their social media is a lot about solving the problems people have when it comes to things like deciding what to have for dinner, or making shopping easier by ordering online and avoiding having to take the kids to the store with you. They are offering solutions! Their strength is in the ease of shopping and that Walmart is known for having lower prices so customers can feel fairly confident that they are getting a good price when shopping there. Their weakness when it comes to dog treats and food and supplies is that because they have so many different departments in the store (from clothing to food and everything in between) they do not carry all brands.
Global Pet Foods: This is a Canadian-owned company that has smaller stores that are a chain so individually owned and operated (although some might be corporate stores? I have not looked into that.). They specialize in pets so they offer a wide variety of choices for all your pet needs. Their prices are fairly competitive to Walmart but a little more expensive and they carry many different brands of pet products whereas Walmart is more limited. Their website is very nice and offers a lot of information and tips for pet care. They also have a rewards program and offer AirMiles. Unfortunately the location near me does not offer online shopping and it appears that option might vary by store. (Note: PetSmart does offer online shopping / shipping along with all of the variety of brands - although not every pet store chain carries every brand so sometimes where you shop is dictacted by what you're feeding your dog / pet! There is no PetSmart in the area of business for my company). They have a Facebook page and Instagram account and the posts are basically identical. The comments on the posts are not hostile and in fact many people have good things to say about Global Pet Foods! This company is offering information relevant to pet health and wellness based on our pets being part of our families. Their strength seems to be in customer loyalty and appealing to the emotions of being a pet owner. Their weakness is in the online shopping area as I think they could take some of the market share from places like Walmart and other big box stores if they made it easy for people to shop! They could also grow their customer base if they were more accessible to people who may not be able to get out to the store easily due to age, weather, other things.
Diggin' Up Bones: This small business does not have a website. They have a Facebook page and an instagram account. The content they post is essentially all about where they will be on certain dates. They offer specialty items for dogs, and a limited number of items. There is no way to order online and shipping of items is not mentioned. They have an email address and phone number posted for contact information. There are no reviews. They don't really have a social media presence, and what is there is about promoting where to find them to shop. There are not fun, informative or helpful posts about dogs or dog care on any of their social media. This company is offering natural dog treats and bones along with some leashes and toys. They do not explain any benefits of their items over other items someone could buy. Their strength is in the product they offer as it is fairly unique. Their weakness is in their marketing and making it easy for people to shop. Perhaps they are happy with their business as it is and they don't want to grow. They have opportunity if they choose to take it!
This has been an interesting and helpful exercise for me and I have learned a lot about what I can do with my company to set it apart and make it easy for people to shop! While all of these companies discussed above offer something of value in their own way, my goal will be to attempt to incorporate many of these things and aim to check all of the boxes for people looking for dog treats and giftable items in baskets. This will include building relationships and appealing to the emotions of pet owners, providing informative and helpful information, also making my social media fun (people need to laugh!), giving back to the community, having visually appealing packaging and displays, offering subscriptions for treats by the bag, and offering shipping and home delivery services! I am very excited about this venture!!
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surveysandthings · 1 year
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7.
Do you have a specialty dish that you're really good at making? I have lots, actually! I’m a really good cook.
What video games did you play when you were growing up? Video games weren't a huge part of my childhood but I did play a lot of Sims when we had a computer that would run it and I remember playing Mario Kart and Crazy Taxi with my cousins.
Are you good at making big decisions alone or do you tend to seek approval from others? My husband and I make big decisions together. If it’s something I’m unsure about, I’ll consult different opinions online but it’s very, very rare that I’ll talk to a real life person about it. I just think its better to make your decisions privately rather than getting everyone you know’s input.
Does your town or city have good public transport, or is it easier to drive? You have to have a car here. There’s a very limited bus route and no taxi service.
 What was the last cocktail you drank? Oh god, I don’t know. I don’t drink very often.
Are you good at keeping running counts and tallies in your head? Um...depends on the thing I guess?
Does your country have its own edition of Big Brother? I assume so? I’ve never watched it tho.
How often do you take a nap during the day? I’ve been napping a lot more frequently lately (which isn’t saying much as it used to be never) but it’s still pretty sparse. I would say once every couple weeks?
What social media platforms do you use? Instagram and TikTok are my two main ones and then I check Facebook every so often but I have notifications turned off and I don’t post anything. I only ever use Tumblr for porn and surveys.
Are there any foods you hate the smell of but like the taste, or vice versa? Those two things go pretty hand in hand. If I don’t like the smell of something, the taste is gonna make me wanna puke.
Do you have a dishwasher? Ugh no, I wish.
Who do you live with? My husband and our pup!
Are you listening to anything right now? My husband is playing Pokemon so I can hear that!
What is one of your favourite sitcoms? I never know what does and doesn’t count as a sitcom??
Do you make to-do lists? Oh yeah. I’m a huge list maker...a list doer tho? Not so much.
If you could magically become fluent in any language, what would it be? Spanish would be the most helpful I think.
Have you ever tried vegan ice cream? Yeah and not a fan. Everyone talks about how amazing it is and how you can’t tell the difference but I just find it to be so grainy with a weird aftertaste.
What pet names do you use for your friends/loved ones? I call my husband honey or beebs most often. I don’t think I have any nicknames for my other friends besides like ‘my love’ or an abbreviation of their name.
What pet names do you like to be called? As long as it’s not ‘baby’, I don’t care. Baby is so cringe.
What was the best concert you've ever seen? Greta Van Fleet was pretty awesome but Paramore was my favorite.
Do you have any hobbies? Oh yeah, tons. I love sewing, embroidery, photography, typing, baking, coloring, making collages, doing puzzles...just anything where I can be creative!
What is your favourite pasta shape? Radiatore (sp?)
Have you ever developed your own film? I mean I'm old enough that when I was a kid, our cameras still had film that had to be developed. But I've never physically done it with my own hands.
When was the last time you stayed in a hotel/motel and where was that? We saw Greta Van Fleet in the next town over back in the fall!
What breed was the last dog you saw? A yorkie!
Do you watch the Super Bowl? Nah.
What's your favourite Disney movie? Encanto was my favorite from this year!
What's the most stressful job you've ever had? I worked at a now defunct department store for like 6 months and my boss was a literal nightmare.
What was the last text message you received? A ‘YESSSS.’ from my sister in law.
Should you be asleep right now? If so, go to bed! Nope! It’s 1:43pm.
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badboyburger · 2 years
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The room stays dark, always. That's one of his rules. During the day, the blinds stay closed. If I behave, I can see the stars at night. Twinkling eyes on black silk, I watch them blink and move across. They watch me just as I watch them. Sometimes I imagine my hands pressed against their surface. I've been told they're warm, too warm, but the nights are cold, and so I don't believe them. He says the stars feel like cold metal.
I believe him.
Today, I am not inside. It's a special occasion. I get to be useful. I get to make him proud.
No one was ever proud of me, before him. I did my best, really. I excelled at my studies, and it didn't matter. I made friends, and they all left too early. Sports or music, art or science, nothing fulfilled, never enough. Desperation drove me further. Do you see the cuts on my skin? Are you proud of me now? If I stop flinching, will you love me then? My arms carried stitches of my own creation. Never inconvenience. Never tell.
He gives me a purpose. He is all that matters.
My hands hold a shovel, and I can smell the stars. My service always smells like stars. I excell at it.
I had no worth, without him. Hours spent on fruitless indulgences. Clouded mind, thoughts held prisoner, itching and yearning to not feel any of it, sinking, sinking. Those days lay far back. He doesn't allow me to go under again. I shall rise, he says. My mind is beautiful, he says.
I didn't believe him, until I did.
I am rising.
There's dirt on my hands. I cannot help but smile. He will be satisfied, and he will praise me. I continue my work. I will earn his praise, will make sure I deserve it.
He was the first to praise me. The first to recognize all my hard work. He saw the cuts, and the bones drawing sharp lines under my skin. What a good job you're doing, he told me. You must have impeccable self control, he told me. I skipped meals for days to impress him. His smile made me want to do it until I died. He forbade me. Gave me different tasks. More fulfilling, more deserving of praise. His approval is the only drug ravaging my body these days.
I wouldn't have it any other way.
It's heavy. Difficult to lift and lay in its' destined spot. I manage it, because he will call me a good boy later if I do. I love it when he does. He usually strokes my hair when he says it. I relish in his touch.
He was the first to touch me. No one else ever wanted to. He combs my hair and strokes my back. His kiss is sweeter than midsummers honey. The happiest place amongst the stars is his lap, his arms around me, holding tight. He says he'll never let me go.
I know it to be true.
The ground is almost flat again, the pile of earth diminished. I am careful to place the pieces back in their positions. He will be very satisfied. He will tell me how thorough I am, how well I've done. He will call me by my name. I love it when he says my name. After all, he was the one who gave it to me.
It is a perfect name.
My old one could never compete.
He will be here soon. My heart swells, and my  grin widens. He is happiness.
Though sometimes, he is unhappy with me. I never know why. It tears me apart, makes me throw myself against the walls and rip at my skin. Sometimes, I miss him for days. No word of praise or pride, no touch. Today, I will be on my best behaviour. Today, he will be proud. Today.
Anticipation makes my body convulse. I force myself to stand upright, feet a shoulders width apart, hands behind my back. I raise my head. I am motionless. He calls me his little soldier when I stand like this. The thought alone makes me melt.
His arrival feels like the heavens opening up before me. I fall into him. He catches me. He is proud of me, today. I am worthy, he says. I did an excellent job, he says. I eat his words up like a starving dog would a rabbit. He leaves, and takes me with him. Today, I am worthy. Today, I behaved.
I am back in my room. The sun will be rising soon, and the blinds will close. I lick my fingers. They taste like the stars.
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monkeyjump29 · 2 years
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A Pioneer Of The Living Memorial Service
funeral template funeral booklets
youtube
funeral pamphlets funeral programs Since time passes so fast, they need to make every day count. One in the exercises I conduct in my seminars is the associated with writing your own obituary. What are you interested in written about you when you quit? I challenge you to take a couple of minutes and write unique obituary. It does not to say that you became President or that you solved the problem of world misery.
And because i enforce my pre-arranged funeral and burial plans, I could as well write my own obituary. I've experience in making most of my family's obituaries. I will not approve what men and women say about me or they might leave some important information left unsaid.
youtube
youtube
Let's the victim was 65 years and really feel he was otherwise in good physical shape. An autopsy might reveal that he massive heart problems. An expert pathologist might be able to argue that because of his massive heart disease, his life expectancy- will certainly any lung cancer- would have been severely more slowly. What's the next logical argument the defense probably will make? The Eulogy. A remembrance and acknowledgment of Mom and importance of her lifetime to all who shared it. The eulogy could be delivered by one or several loved ones members and friends, or a new member among the clergy. We chose a local minister who shared a number of the our fondest memories of Mom. A close friend also sang definitely one of Mom's favorite hymns, The old Rugged Mongrel. The funeral home arranged for a closed circuit broadcast from the eulogy service, accessible with a internet, for relatives who could not attend the funeral. If you have an Inkjet printer you may help to a bundle of money for cartridges by purchasing them from retailers on eBay. You sure to check on their ratings before you buy from your kids. Just search on your cartridge on EBay by printer name or by cartridge number, this preserve you big money of currency. Then there this Facebook message from Tim Ourite. Ryan of New Jersey. "So Hurricane Sandy has destroyed a pair of my funeral homes. Usually are very well telling us that ensure that you at least eight months before behavior start to rebuild." Tim also lost his home, his hearse, his removal van and auto. What was the very first thing that Tim did? Determination his approach to New York and other affected areas to help bury the dead. He and other funeral professionals worked in New York and Nj-new jersey funeral homes, doing how much they could "in service". They provided funeral and memorial services for all those in need to. Important Note:Cocoa mulch nade from crushed cacao shells, which contain caffeine and theobromine.These are two compounds to which dogs are particularly painful. These substances additionally present in everyday foods such as baker's chocolate, chocolate watering holes. Depending on nevertheless . of canine and even if you of cocoa mulch it ingests, symptoms would include, stomach upset to strokes.
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montoyagonzalez6 · 2 years
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Airsoft Weapons, Low Cost & Best Replicas
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fox-trot · 3 years
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Another service massiff for a clone trooper veteran, reporting for duty! She has been dubbed “Commander Cookie” by my dear friend, and she is a PTSD service massiff. She is ready to go home with a trooper in need.
Some real life service/guide massiff dog etiquette below!
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Please don't touch, talk, feed, make noises, or otherwise distract the dog while it is wearing its harness or vest. You should allow the dog to concentrate and perform for the safety of their handler.
Don't treat the dog as a pet; give it the respect of a working dog.
Always speak to the handler, not the dog. Some handlers will allow petting, but be sure to ask before doing so. If allowed, don't pat the dog on the head; stroke the dog on the shoulder area.
Do not, under any circumstance, film or take pictures of a service dog team without explicit consent from the handler. Yes, even if the dog is cute. Yes, even if its 'just a TikTok.' It is extremely violating, and in many jurisdictions, unlawful.
If the handler says no when you ask to pet the dog, respect it. The dog (or handler) might be having a bad day, or they might be in a hurry. Sometimes service dogs simply cannot be distracted for even a moment.
Remember, a service dog is as vital to a disabled person as a wheelchair or cane. You wouldn't ask to pet their wheelchair or get mad if they wouldn't let you pet their cane.
You should not ever give the dog commands; allow the handler to do so.
Guide and service dog teams always have the right of way.
Don't try to take control in situations unfamiliar to the dog or handler, but please assist the handler upon their request.
When walking with a guide or service dog team, you should not walk on the dog's left side, as it may become distracted or confused. Ask the handler where you should walk. Depending on the situation, they may ask you to walk ahead of them on their right side, or behind them by their right shoulder.
Never attempt to grab or steer the person while the dog is guiding or attempt to hold the dog's harness. You should ask if the handler needs your assistance and, if so, offer your left arm.
Never give the dog table scraps, or sneak it treats behind the handler's back. You should respect the handler's need to give the dog a balanced diet, and to maintain its good habits. Additionally, some dogs have severe food sensitivities. You could very easily do harm to the health of the animal.
Don't allow anyone to tease, distract, or abuse a service dog in public. If you see a dog in a public area like a restaurant, ignore it. Allow it to rest undisturbed. Please do not squeal, coo, or bombard a handler you don't know with questions. They are just trying to live like everyone else.
Make sure not to allow your pets to challenge or intimidate a guide or service dog. They cannot and must not socialize on duty. With the handler's explicit consent, you should allow them to meet on neutral ground when all parties can be carefully supervised.
In the USA, under ADA law, you are not permitted to request any documentation for a service dog, require that the dog demonstrate its task, or inquire about the nature of the person's disability. It is unlawful.
There are individuals and organizations that sell “service animal certification” or "service dog IDs" or “registration documents” online. These documents do not convey any rights under the ADA and the Department of Justice does not recognize them as proof that the dog is a service animal. Basically, any and all documents you can buy online ARE FAKE. Please do not contribute to scammers.
The differences between service dogs, therapy dogs, and emotional support animals in the USA:
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admirableadmiranda · 3 years
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Debts and balances: or how much does one man have to pay over the course of his life?
Good morning everyone! Today we’re going to be talking about debts, and why Jiang Cheng needs to shut the fuck up on debts because he is the one in the wrong pretty much the entire time.
Let’s start by acknowledging that I am not of this culture so I may perhaps state a thing or two wrong, but I also have several functioning brain cells to rub together and I pay attention so I will probably be more right than most of the “hot takes” I see on why Jiang Cheng is not actually in the wrong here. Because he is. He so is.
So, debts. First of all, there are multiple levels and layers of debts and to whom do you owe them too. So let’s start with the first one where the story is subtle about it and yet both Jiang Cheng and Madam Yu are in the wrong. We know that Cangse Sanren saved Jiang Fengmian’s life at one point when they were young. Life debts are big. To only be alive because of someone else’s actions is a debt that it is possible you will never be able to pay back. There are multiple stories of otherwise good people protecting the obvious villain because they owe that.
Jiang Fengmian’s only way of being able to pay back that debt after Cangse Sanren and Wei Changze die is to take care of their child and raise him how they would have. I.E, as a cultivator. This is not a debt that Wei Wuxian owes to the Jiangs. It is quite literally, the least of what Jiang Fengmian owes him and his parents to do.
Jiang Cheng cannot claim that Wei Wuxian owes them for his life. He is wrong. 
Next debt that even Jiang Cheng does not try to claim, only his ever so pleasant stans, the fucking dogs. The fucking dogs that he does not actually give a fuck about. 
Wei Wuxian does not ask anyone to do anything about the dogs. He is not in a mental state to. He is in a state of triggered phobia where his brain literally goes into run away screaming mode. This is also not funny and Jiang Cheng is a jackass for making fun of it whenever it happens. Jiang Fengmian is the one who decides that it’s better for the dogs to go. Even though Jiang Cheng is upset, he does not actually hold this as a lingering grudge against Wei Wuxian. He lets it the fuck go. And even if he didn’t, the resentment and anger should be aimed at the person who actually made a decision about it. Not Wei Wuxian. He does not give one singular fuck about his dogs later on. Let the fucking dogs go.
Third off: The Fall of Lotus Pier. There are different levels of blame that we can lay on this. Wei Wuxian is not close to responsible for this. Jiang Cheng knows this and elects to blame him anyway.
The first people we can lay the blame on the fall of Lotus Pier is the Wens, who came with ships, warriors, Wang Lingjiao to rile up the notoriously short tempered asshole Madam Yu, and Wen Zhuliu the Core-Melting Hand. They came prepared for battle and they got what they wanted. Madam Yu is the second one we can lay the blame on, for deciding to attack and demean Wang Lingjiao, not for making her do anything she didn’t want to do, because holy hell did she want to whip Wei Wuxian until he couldn’t move and leapt at the chance to do such a thing, but because Wang Lingjiao is a servant who was elevated by her lover and Madam Yu is a classist asshole. This is the only reason she flips out. Wei Wuxian did nothing wrong. Wei Wuxian does not have the blood of Lotus Pier on his hands, he is tied to Jiang Cheng and told to protect him at the cost of his life, a debt he does not owe. 
The four debt he attempts to claim, the only one that might be considered to have some teeth if it weren’t for how much Wei Wuxian gives him back almost immediately. Jiang Cheng goes to distract the Wens from Wei Wuxian and ends up getting captured and losing his golden core. So first off, in this world a golden core is a lot to lose, I won’t deny that. But, first off, Wei Wuxian is only in danger because after being whipped a lot, then strangled, then having to run after Jiang Cheng multiple times because he would rather go die at Lotus Pier than listen to either of his parents and escape, he still goes into town to get them something to eat because otherwise Jiang Cheng would rather lie on the ground and die. Fucking great sect leadership there, huh Jiang Cheng? But yes, Jiang Cheng sees the Wens, sees them notice Wei Wuxian, goes off to distract them and then gets captured and loses his golden core.
Now we’re getting to some of the debts that Jiang Cheng owes and refuses to pay back, because that’s definitely going to get him far in this world. Wei Wuxian in his panic and attempt to find Jiang Cheng, finds Wen Ning, who after some struggles manages to convince him that he can sneak in and get Jiang Cheng back out. In addition, he also retrieves the bodies of Madam Yu and Jiang Fengmian. This is huge. Jiang Cheng now owes him both a life debt for again, saving his life at great cost to his own: Wen Ning is literally committing treason here, and also for restoring the lost honor of not being able to bury his parents properly. Wen Ning gives them a proper burial and later after the war he is able to lie them to rest in the Ancestors Hall so their spirits will be at peace and he will have fulfilled his fillial duties. By all means, the debt he owes Wen Ning in particular is so great that he should have taken in every Wen in those camps and sheltered them because it is as close as he will ever get to repaying that debt. And that’s just Wen Ning!
The next debt he owes and refuses to pay is to Wen Qing, a genius doctor and respected by Wen Ruohan, who uses the prestige and skills she has to protect both him and Wei Wuxian in at this point enemy territory when they are being actively searched for, being the new sect leader and head disciple of Yunmeng Jiang. She hides them and then later uses her skills to give him a new golden core so that he can go and fight back against his people, revitalizing his clan and eradicating hers. This is another debt that could only really be paid back by protecting her people if she came to him. He owes her literally his life, his power and his people.
The third debt he owes and refuses to pay is to Wei Wuxian, who more than overbalances the scales back in his favor by giving him his golden core. He pays his chance at immortality, his power, his strength, his cultivation, everything that he has to his name so that Jiang Cheng won’t starve himself to death over losing his core. In addition, he tells Jiang Cheng that this comes from a once in a lifetime favor from his mother’s master so even before when he didn’t know about the core, this is still a massive, massive debt, a limitless one time favor from an immortal that he uses Wei Wuxian’s chance to get and never actually thanks him. So at this point, his own golden core as a debt starts to seem a little hollow. Either way, it’s been repaid. An action you do in service of someone else is not a weapon you get to hold over their heads for multiple lives.
Moving on! The next debt he would like to claim is that Wei Wuxian apparently has no right to do things he does not approve of. Excuse me? Is he now a computer program that crashed? What the fuck Jiang Wanyin? Wei Wuxian has less rank than him, although Jiang Cheng is so high rank in this society that he only shares his rank with three other people and there’s no one above him so it would be very hard for him to not be, but he is still a person, with his own thoughts, wishes, dreams, hopes and beliefs. He is not an extension of your hand, to make your clan look good and stand behind you as a hammer to smash on people. Wen Qing goes to Wei Wuxian to ask for help for finding her brother, her people because they are literally being tortured to death. This is a debt that by all means, Jiang Cheng should be repaying. See that part where Wen Ning committed treason to help him and restore his family’s honor? See that part where Wen Qing literally gave him the ability to go back to war against her family? This is the point where anyone with honor would recognize this is the only thing I can do. I will throw myself on my sword if I must, but I must repay this debt to them. There is nothing less I can do. But Jiang Cheng has only the honor of a mangy cur and ignores this, and when Wei Wuxian goes to fulfill this debt, he tells him to stop. To him, his multiple life debts are an inconvience to shoving his nose so far up Jin Guangshan’s ass that he’s tasting what he had for dinner that day.
The next debt that he would like to claim is the death of his brother in law. This is a debt that Wei Wuxian would owe to specific people. This debt is to Jiang Yanli, Jin Guangshan and Jin Ling, one of whom is wanting to forgive it, one who is too small to decide at the time, and one who straight up does not give a fuck beyond advancing his power. Jiang Cheng is not one of these people. His sister is fine, she’s not his concern anymore, she’s a part of the Jin sect. The only reason why he died is that Jiang Cheng decided the best way to repay his debt to Wei Wuxian was to throw a temper tantrum and declare him an enemy to everyone, ripping out every support from under his feet. Regardless, Jiang Cheng is an asshole and does not get to claim this debt.
The final one of Wei Wuxian’s first life that he keeps hurling at him is the death of his sister...the death of his sister who chose to leap between Wei Wuxian and a sword. The death of his sister at a battle that broke out because Jiang Cheng has been with Jin Guangshan whipping the cultivation world into a frenzy against the Wens and Wei Wuxian because of power and jealousy. The battle that would have not happened if they’d left them alone. Jiang Cheng has been to the burial mounds. He has seen the farmers, he has seen the baby there. He has decided that rather than do anything to repay these various deaths, he will kill them on other people’s swords instead. Because he is also a coward and won’t pick fights he can’t win. In addition he likes to steal Yanli’s agency, she’s the one who chose to come, she’s the one who chose to get in the way and she doesn’t die with regrets. And she is not his debt to claim. Again, the one who actually gets to claim this death that Wei Wuxian is not responsible for is Jin Ling, who actually shapes up and decides that it doesn’t matter, he doesn’t blame Wei Wuxian for it. He forgives him his role in that space and moves the fuck on, unlike a certain sir stabby grape mcwhipinnoencts.
And then Wei Wuxian dies and any debts he may have still owed to Jiang Cheng, not that there were any, die with him. Jiang Cheng has no claim on him, he was not part of his sect, they were not brothers in any way, indeed Jiang Cheng called him his enemy. Even most people with far more real grudges at this point would let it go. Wei Wuxian is so dead that no one can find his soul, no matter how hard they look. He comes back to life and reaps the rewards of his actions, finding new allies, getting the chance to actually interact with Jin Ling and make his apologies, and in the end, settle down to a peaceful life with an adoring husband and nothing left to be repaid. If there is still a debt he owes, it is only to Mo Xuanyu, who gave up his entire cycle of life to let Wei Wuxian reincarnate early with his memories, a sacrifice he only asked for repayment in the death of his family. He may owe more still, but that is all Mo Xuanyu wanted from him in repayment for this great sacrifice. The cultivation world is in the wrong when they’re trying to persecute him again for the actions of his previous life, he owes them nothing anymore. The debts he carries towards Jin Ling are the ones he chooses to take on, feeling guilty that he grew up without his parents due to the world’s general actions and also no one else taking responsibility for how far things fell. 
That is what Jiang Cheng finally realizes in the temple, crouched on the floor and sobbing like a spoiled child over the golden core sacrifice. Is that he is in the wrong and has been in the wrong the whole time. That there is nothing he can hold onto, no debt that Wei Wuxian ever owed him that he could demand to be paid. He built it all up in his head as he left his honor, his family and his dignity in the wake of his arrogance. And it’s a painful thing to realize, the consequences of your decisions, but all he can do is live with his own ruined reputation, his own loneliness and the fact that no one wants to be around him. He’s blacklisted by multiple matchmakers, his disciples are more like thugs, Wei Wuxian chooses every opportunity to get away from him and even Jin Ling likes him less and less over the course of the book, not forgetting that he seems to prefer Jin Guangyao to begin with as he actually talks to him sometimes and doesn’t hit him. Jiang Cheng refusing to pay his debts gives him exactly what a debt deserter deserves. No one has a reason to trust him. The one bit of positive character growth he does is giving up and not trying to reel him back in by telling him of the sacrifice. At this point, all it would be is just him trying to get another debt he cannot hold because it is long since repaid, never quite made up for what they gave him to make up for it, and worthless in the face of Wei Wuxian’s new life. Wei Wuxian owes him nothing and never has.
Also, just to tally up the relationship between Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng on things given between the two of them, Jiang Cheng gives him: a lot of whinging on how unfair it is that Wei Wuxian is a prodigy, and a one time immediately regretted and held over his head sacrifice of a golden core. Whereas Wei Wuxian gives him: many lessons on how to be a kinder person that he ignores, the patience and tolerance of his stinkbug attitude, his love, his affection, his fucking golden core, his reputation, his blood, his livelihood, taking over his debts, trying to keep any of his actions from reflecting on the Jiangs even though if Jiang Cheng had repaid any of the debts he owed, there would have been no problems because if the Jin’s did decide to attack, Wei Wuxian would fight back and he can level battle fields on his own, his honor, his relationships, and even his life in the end, because if Wei Wuxian had ever turned on him like he claimed, he would have been a bloody smeared spot on the ground. And Jiang Cheng gobbles this all up and demands more with Wei Wuxian’s blood and tears dribbling from his mouth. 
Would you give that much for someone who doesn’t treat you well? Would you find that a reasonable price to pay for someone who demeans you at every opportunity, who tells you you deserve your misfortunes and that no one likes you? Why are you surprised that in the end Wei Wuxian would rather walk away with people who care about him, why he gives up, leaves any opportunity for anything in Jiang Cheng’s hands. Wei Wuxian has given more than any person should for almost nothing. It is a sign of triumph and victory, of recognizing his own worth and value in the world and who he wants to be with, that he leaves, that he walks away with his head held high. He owes Jiang Cheng nothing, and Jiang Cheng will just have to fucking live with that.
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comradeacerbus · 3 years
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Danse Headcanons
Because he is a good boy who needs love too okay
- Always needs to be organized, writes everything down.
- To do lists. They’re everywhere, and he always has a notebook on his person.
- Quite likes crosswords. Always needs something to do with his hands, and they help if he starts getting antsy. PTSD is a bitch.
- Smokes. Prefers cigars. Also likes black coffee.
- Is actually gruesomely funny, but you wouldn’t know unless you really get to know him. He’s got a really dry sense of humor so it automatically makes his sarcasm even funnier.
- In spite of the fact that he can be bitterly sarcastic himself, he doesn’t always understand sarcasm immediately. He’s very literal.
- Very much a dad friend. Not to be confused with the mom friend. Don’t expect to be coddled by him. He’s great for practical advice, but don’t expect him to go soft if you go to him about a problem. If he thinks that you’re at fault for your own problem, he’ll make sure that you know it.
- “I’m not angry, I’m just disappointed”
- Overall, he’s just brutally honest, almost to a fault. He’s a terrible liar!
- Still, he’s a very good listener and will keep his trap shut. Once you tell himself something, it’s in the vault, so to speak.
- On that note, puns are not typically appreciated.
- He’s good to his friends overall, and is highly reliable, but like a knight of Catarina, he will never forgive a betrayal. The guy can hold a serious grudge.
- As a lover, he’s very shy at first. His other half will have to make most of the moves initially. Once he’s comfortable, he’s actually quite affectionate.
- Turns out the fucker has some serious libido too.
- Gifts and acts of service are his main love languages, though in private, physical touch quickly rises to prominence. A lot of gentle touch, nudging, shoulder pats for reassurance, that kind of thing in public.
- He’s a virgin. Absolutely. He’s shy about banging at first because he’s embarrassed that he’s inexperienced, in spite of the fact that he’s getting into his thirties. It doesn’t take him long to get confident in the bedroom.
- Cuddly sleeper. Also sleeps hot.
- Really likes Johnny Cash and Marty Robbins, but he’s got room for Mel Tillis too.
- He has a habit of slipping right into lecture mode, even after his exile. He gets better about it as time goes on, but it’s really annoying for all parties involved until he does. He’s just so used to dealing with stupid soldiers and having to lecture them as a superior that it’s become second nature.
- He’s very literate and an avid reader. He prides himself on his extensive vocabulary, even if the casuals find it annoying.
- Always eager to learn a skill in case he might need it later. Doesn’t hurt to be a jack of all trades in the wastelands after all. In the immortal words of my father, “Always take the chance to learn something, if you get it. Once that knowledge is yours, no one can take it away from you.”
- An excellent mechanic, and not just for PAs and related things. While he’s not good at coding, he is good at robotics repair and the like and can disassemble and reassemble a laser rifle blindfolded.
- Has fixed up Codsworth a number of times.
- Very literate with guns and ammunition, both with technical as well as historical information. He has a soft spot for old guns.
- Getting kicked out of the brotherhood took a huge toll on him. Aside from his identity crisis, Danse prided himself on the sophistication of the Brotherhood and the fact that he could be a part of it. On top of that, he has no living relatives, so that faction was his only family from the time he joined up. He had a lot of emotions invested in the group overall, even though he refuses to admit the fact that he does indeed have feelings.
- He has trust issues for a while after the whole ordeal. You can’t blame him. One moment, these people would die for him based on principle alone, and the next, they’re trying to kill him.
- He constantly denies the negative emotions that he feels. For a while, he just avoids things that make him think of the brotherhood so he doesn’t have to process what happened to him. He has a sense of abandonment after being thrown to the side by Maxson, but it immediately translates to anger because he just doesn’t know how to deal with it.
- When he finally finds someone who legitimately cares about how he feels and how he’s doing, he doesn’t know what to do, and it sort of gets worse before it gets better.
- He’s very embarrassed of his PTSD because he has a lot of masculine pride, so again, he doesn’t want to face it or his emotions.
- He’s just grouchy and mildly paranoid after his exile until Sole drags him back to the real world and helps him recover. Afterwards, he’s almost like a different person.
- He does still retain some things from the Brotherhood. For example, he always keeps a stiff posture, and when he’s fixated on something, he walks in step, not unlike a soldier. During a fight, specifically shootouts, he’ll use the military codes and signals he was taught.
- He is still very wary of synths (understandable) and very much hates mutants (also understandable), but is okay with Nick, after they come to an understanding between each other.
- He also still has trouble sleeping by himself. He’d never admit it, but he cant stand sleeping alone, since he’s used to sleeping in a military base with a bunch of eyes to watch for trouble. When he eventually does get with Sole to the point they share a bed or room, it’s easier for him to sleep.
- Danse LOVES affection, but he’d never admit it verbally. Sole knows lol but it’s a secret he’ll take to his grave. Cuddling and forehead kisses are his weakness.
- Approval from his lover is like a drug to him. Really, just a “good job” can make his day.
- He’s also weird about asking for sex or affection. He’ll usually get all bashful and quiet, but will sort of hover around Sole. Like, stand behind them or next to them and nudge them, maybe give them a knowing look. Or he’ll just get very clingy in bed or something.
- He blushes very easily.
- Snores. Denies it.
- He LOVES dogs, but is really more of a cat person. He adored Emmett, back on the Prydwen.
- Because he is a workaholic, he opens up a lil store in Sanctuary. Sort of goes back to what he did in Rivet City, but with a more focused goal in that he specifically scavenges for gun parts and the like. Just a warning that he keeps a sawed off shotgun under the counter. Try to rob him and he’ll blow your head off. This man takes the Second Amendment very seriously.
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