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starseneyes · 9 months

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Spock / Nurse Christine Chapel - Star Trek: Strange New Worlds S2 Eps 6 & 7

Folks, the cross-over episode dropped, and I'm so fascinated by how much Spapel we got in it!

So, I'm going to combine these two since we had one very strong scene in 2x06, and several fascinating scenes in 2x07.

SPOILER ALERT: Like Boimler with the Future, I'm no good at keeping my mouth shut about what's going on. If you read this, it's at your own risk!

Ready to dive in? Let's play!

"Lost in Translation" AKA "Your Move"

"Your move." "I know."

Christina fiddles with the piece in her hand, plotting out her move. But Spock's already ahead of her and anxious for her to make a move.

Wow. Everything you need to know about the scene was set up in four spoken words.

Because Spock is now basking in the freedom of being with Christine. It's such a departure from Vulcan relationships where there are rituals and rules and procedures and requirements. But is it too far a departure to last?

And, duh, I understand that they're doomed. But from their perspective, they don't know that.

I also love the body language, here. Spock and Christine are facing off, leaning in toward one another. They are both fully engaged, but the game separates them.

Though they share the table, there are many moving pieces at play.

"Is that not a polite euphemism for 'make your move faster'?"

Now, if we're talking physical moves, Christine's got no problems with moving fast. But, if we're talking emotional? Whole n'other ballgame.

Christine responds to Spock's question by leaning forward, licking her lips, and quipping.

"Am I boring you, Mr. Spock?"

Ooohhh, I love this. I've always associated her use of "Mr. Spock" with her purposeful detachment and separation from Spock—a way to verbalize the space they must give one another.

This single use enriches every interaction going forward.

Using the reference of TOS, I truly thought it was always and only used as a phrase to denote the separation between them. But to hear those two words used in such a seductive manner does my heart good.

There are times those two words may seem innocuous to the outside world, but to these two are painful, beautiful, romantic, sexy... so many things!

"Decidedly not."

Well, I do declare! This Southern gal's gotta fan herself just from the delivery of that line. Seriously. This dude is whipped.

Spock has bedroom eyes. First we got tongue on the Bridge, then snogging in his Quarters, now eye-fucking in the Bar. Yeah, these two are coming along nicely.

Christine's glowing with those words, too. She's always enjoyed his attention and company, but now she knows the fullness of it. And, no, I wasn't going for a phallic reference, there, but now it's got no choice but to stay.

Christine's been fiddling with her piece, taking her time, dealing with her indecision. This scene says so much with so little words spoken.

Because Spock is a relationship guy. We all know that. Christine even knows that, and it's not what she wants. At least, not what she thinks she wants.

Because we've already seen that sometimes Christine doesn't know her own mind or heart.

Look how she's fiddling with the piece while she considers her move, how she's shifting in her seat, rocking back and forth. There's no clear path, here. It's all one step at a time for her, while Spock's got the board and pieces memorized so long as he moves are predictable.

Problem is, Christine's far from predictable.

"Your move."

This time, it's teasing. Christine meets his eyes, but before she can even return to the board, he continues.

"There is a matter I've been meaning to discuss." "Should I get a drink first? You sound serious."

She knows him. Anyone else listening in might've thought it was a casual thing, but Christine knows his inflections and intentions so well that she immediately clocks that he wants to discuss something heavy.

"You wanna tell Starfleet about this."

Watch how Christine deflates. Relationships are sticky. Relationships are messy. They're annoying, but she can handle it.

But throw in structure and formality? Christine's gonna bolt fast if you try to tie her down. That's her M.O. And a part of her knows she's not ready to bolt from Spock.

"If there is anything to tell."

I love this bit. This is such an echo of every time Christine has made space for him. He's learning from her, and finding comfort in more of his humanity through their shared time.

And this trait's a rather beautiful one to pick up, I think. He is speaking without expectation, even though we all know what he'd like to hear. He's making room for her to say whatever she is going to say. And that's important.

Christine makes a move while considering his words or avoiding them. It's hard to say. But, Spock's letting her know he wants an answer.

He counters her move.

"Your move."

He's not letting up, Christine. You gotta tell him something.

She places the piece she took on the table, letting her hand hover over it. The last move, he took a piece of hers. This time, she took a piece of his.

And while I'd argue relationships shouldn't be "taking" pieces of one another, I think that we bleed into one another through clear communication and love. Pieces of us are shared and safe-guarded by the other party.

Let me tell you, I've rarely seen my husband angry. He has a lot of patience. But when he hits his limits, it's usually been when someone was unjustly attacking me. He's a freakin' fierce protector in those moments.

Christine and Spock aren't to the point of "clear communication and love", yet (and may never be, if history holds), but they're definitely more than "friends with benefits", much as Christine might protest.

"Relationships... at least for humans, can be... quantum things."

She looking down, gathering his thoughts, but he's completely leaned in and engaged, focused on her.

And I love the body language, here, because they both have their arms crossed in front of them as protection. Christine's is a harder overlap to shore up her armor, but Spock's is still there. Some part of him recognizes she might break his heart.

"Think about Schrodinger's cat. They exist or they don't, they don't, depending on who's observing them." "That is-" "Not how quantum superposition actually works? *chuckles* Yeah, I know."

I love how evenly matched they are in this conversation. She understands him enough to know where his literal mind might be misinterpreting her signals.

And she doesn't get frustrated with him. She chuckles to herself, and redirects to ensure he understands her meaning.

I spend so much of my life doing this with my Middle son, and I hope someday he meets a partner as patient and understanding as Christine has demonstrated on this show.

"It's a metaphor, Spock. A messy one. Just like... whatever this is."

It's Spock's time to be deflating and suddenly become obsessed with the texture of the table. It's not the answer he'd hoped to hear. Because while he went into the conversation without expectation, he did go in with hope.

"My point is, if we let Starfleet, or anyone else, for that matter, look inside the box then..." "Our quantum... cat might disappear?"

I. Laughed. So. Hard. It's the delivery. The arched eyebrows on "cat" and how seriously he says it. It's so bloody brilliant, but it had me absolutely rolling.

"I'd just as soon let it live. See how big it grows."

And we're back to bedroom eyes. Because while it's not the answer he hoped to hear, she's not rejecting him. She doesn't want to end things. She simply wants to continue on without defining it.

And this has the potential to be so bad for both of them. But, at least she's being honest. That's part of her whole quest with this relationship, right? Be more honest?

"Your move."

She winks at him. Because she just set out the expectations and wants on his side. It's up to him to decide if he wants to continue as they are, or report them to Starfleet and risk losing it all, or whatever third option is likely to occur.

We don't see the pair of them together after this scene, but I think we have a really good idea of where they are—they want different things and they're pretending they don't.

I've been there. My first boyfriend wanted way different things than me. But, I really liked him and I wanted to stay with him. Until he cheated on me and it all spiraled really badly.

We have foreknowledge that Spock and Christine don't, so that filters the lens through which we view the scene.

But if we look strictly at their wants in this scene alone, it's clear they're trying to head in the same direction while not understanding one is looking through a microscope, and the other a telescope. Technically, the same direction... but not the same view.

"Those Old Scientists" AKA "Spock's in a Phase"

Let me say up top that I did not expect that much Spapel in the cross-over episode. I told Matthew as soon as it hit the app, and we made the kids watch with us. My Middle told me it was his favorite episode of Star Trek ever.

Also, I'll admit Spock's experimentation with humanity as seen via's Boimler's perspective was jarring. I was simply not expecting it, and I admit I cringed as much as Boimler.

And while it was super effective, a part of me wishes we could've seen it from Christine and Spock's perspective (or anyone who wasn't seriously weirded out by it).

And, yes, this was all used as an illustrative tool to show that our visions of our heroes often differ greatly from the actuality, especially if we try to capture the whole of their lives based on a single point in time. Star Trek: First Contact investigates this concept extensively.

But in the microcosm of Spapel, it'd be fun to investigate what Christine thinks of Spock's increased leaning into his humanity, and even what Spock thinks of it.

Christine Spots Spock

I love how she spots him from across the room and immediately has to excuse herself.

"I have to go."

As soon as Christine says it, Erica looks over her shoulder to see where her friend's headed.

Spock is beaming when he sees her. Oh my goodness, he's so happy. This time (and I didn't remember this initial shot from my first viewing since I was doing it with a 5-year-old crawling over my lap and two 8-year-olds asking repeated questions), the shot is quite lovely!

Christine's striding over to her man, and she's so bloody happy to see him, too. Of course, it's the setup for the heartache to come, but I kinda wish we could bottle this moment where they both feel so damn content with who they are with one another.

"All I know is where I come from, he is legendary for never smiling, laughing, definitely no joking. And that Spock goes on to do really important things that I very much need to have not messed up."

Oh, Boimler. He's let La'an's words get into his head (because he takes the letter of rule so bloody seriously) and now he's unloading on an unsuspecting Christine.

"I'm worried because I made Spock laugh. And I keep wondering, is that a butterfly effect? 'Cause the Spock I know shouldn't have done that." "Maybe he's just... going through a thing. Like, having fun." "No, but I've read every book about Spock and they-they mention his upbringing on Vulcan, his pet sehlat, his relationship with his mom and dad, but nothing about a happy, smiley, jokey guy, period." "Just stop. Stop, stop, stop."

Boimler has no idea how to keep his mouth shut... or the pain he's inflicting. Because Christine now knows she doesn't make any of the Spock history books. They don't make it.

And. That. Hurts. Much as Christine doesn't see herself as a "relationship" person, she's already crossing so many lines with Spock. Some she may notice and brush off, but others I doubt she's aware of, yet.

Spock is on her ship. We know with Dever the last thing she wanted to do was transfer to his ship. She and Spock actually linger in public together and hang out, play games, chat.

They're not just shacking up and only shacking up. There's a relationship at play, here—a give-and-take.

"None of this is your fault, okay. Spock was acting like this before you arrived."

Excuse me? Excuse me!? He wasn't doing it last episode, so how long has this bloody relationship been going on?!

"Oh, thank God. So this is, what, this is just, like, a phase? And-and, he'll get over it and back to his, like, serious, real self soon?"

I think it's "just a phase" that crushed her. Look at the tears in her eyes. Because, deep down, she doesn't want this to be "just a phase" for either of them.

But, as far as history knows, they never existed. That is what Boimler just told her. Not that she's a footnote in Spock's history. Not that they burned out. They. Never. Existed.

And that's what she wanted last week, right? To keep Starfleet and everyone else out of it? But is that what she really wants? I would argue Christine doesn't know what she wants.

But this hurts like hell.

"Oh. You're the one who's been influencing him, not me. I-I shouldn't have said anything."

He regrets it. He regrets everything. But, it's too late. He can't take it back.

And her realization that he's put two-and-two together is so... her. She's almost embarrassed he knows, because she doesn't want anyone to know.

Although I'm sure all her besties know... they're simply too polite to say anything (most of the time... I'm looking at you, Erica).

"No. It's, it's fine. I never assumed that I would... get to influence him forever, anyway."

She start off fine, but by the end of the sentence, she's tearing up, again. She looks away.

"Don't even want that."

That's right, Christine. Keep telling yourself that. And, I gotta offer mad props to Jess Bush, as usual, because he inflection is everything on this.

Some folks get a line and look at it, and they give one read that's flat without emphasis, or the emphasis is in a predictable spot. From the beginning, I've noted how creative Jess Bush is in her choices, and I'm just so blown away by her.

She took a character that wasn't really my favorite (I was a McCoy gal) and turned her into my favorite character of Strange New Worlds.

And, yes, I fully credit the Writers (go WGA!) with the blueprint presented to her. But, I'm mad impressed with her performance every episode. It's so nuanced and alive.

When Boimler leaves, she's alone with her thoughts. And while she's been telling herself for so long that it's not what she wants, it sucks to feel like the option doesn't even exist anymore.

With Schrodinger's cat, the not knowing is part of it, right? Now, she knows.

And, y'know, I'd like to also point out that history books don't know everything. I'm writing a script based on my grandparents. Trust me, there's a lot that's not going on the page for a variety of reasons.

I once heard the expression, "History is written by the victor". And, it's true. So much of history is omitted from what we know.

A few years ago, one of the books I homeschooled my children with was about Black soldiers during the Revolutionary War who defected to the English side. This is our national history of which I was entirely unaware.

We're still discovering more history all the time that was omitted or hidden. Which feeds into my prediction that, perhaps, there's a logical reason why Spock and Christine erased themselves from each other's lives.

I won't get into my predictions in the middle of the Meta, but skip to the end if you want my (completely uninformed) thoughts.

"Ensign Boimler, Nurse Chapel told me about your exchange."

Oh, shit. But, seriously, I'm so proud of my girl, Christine, for talking to her not-boyfriend.

Go with me, here: What is something Christine sucks at? Communication. She just isn't the best, especially at communicating her own wants and needs. Erica pointed it out to her with Devers, and also tried to help guide her towards trying to be better.

Christine, despite finding out they're doomed, communicated with Spock. I'm so bloody proud.

"She did not go into detail, but it was easy to extrapolate that there was something you told her about my future. Perhaps, I should know." "Nah."

Boimler is trying so hard not to do anymore damage.

But was this always supposed to happen? Look, most time-travel episodes change the past or try not to change the past. But, in this case, I'd argue these events were necessary, in a cyclical manner.

I mean, Pike would've gone in guns blazin' with the Orions if not for Boimler. It might've seemed revisionist, at first, but then it came around at the end to be exactly what needed to happen.

"It does not take an expert observer to recognize that my experiments in human emotion trouble you. Therefore, I must surmise my future state, the one you are familiar with, must be one in which my emotions are minimized." "Must you surmise that?"

Boimler is begging him to stop understanding him. Which is bloody hilarious, because Boimler would honestly prefer for Spock not to be so damn observational and rational and good as suppositions.

"But you did say something to Christine that upset her."

There it is. He hasn't referred to her as Christine on-screen since he was fully human. And I know it's a little thing, but I'm grateful it's here. Because we know, now, without a doubt, that he's truly concerned about her.

He drops the professionalism in that sentence. He's speaking as a concerned not-boyfriend, and it's so heartbreaking knowing it all ends in tears.

Am I hoping at least there's a satisfying reason besides, "You're meant to be something else, so we're doomed, so I'm going to be Korby's research assistant because he personally invited me"? Golly, yes. But, that's up to the writers, and I'm along for the ride.

"Look, all I said was that I'm surprised that you're so... human. Yes, the universe needs Vulcan Spock if everything that I know happens... happens." "And yet I have no choice but to stay true to the path I have chosen in this time. If you sway me, then my future will have been altered. Is that not logical?" "Unfortunately, it is."

That isn't all you said, Boimler. But, I love this peek into Spock's mindset. He's going to see this through. Whereas Christine is now feeling unsteady, Spock is more resolved than ever.

They are such very different people, but that can be sensational relationally, as well. My husband and I intersect in interest and temperament in some ways, and diverge greatly in others. It definitely keeps things interesting.

But until Christine and Spock are clearly communicating, their differences remain possibilities for upheaval.

"Do you feel lucky?"

Well? Do ya, punk? I mean, has Christine introduced Spock to Dirty Harry? Or did he pick that one up at movie night?

SIDE NOTE: I love just how many series of Star Trek have a movie night... as if a subtle reminder that even as technology changes and morphs, we still love to return to a good picture show for entertainment and comfort.

While this isn't Spapel-related, I have to call out that I loved them referencing Enterprise, the show. While neither of my favorite characters got a mention (Trip/T'Pol), it's good to see the acknowledgement and the connection.

That whole scene of turning the current Enterprise crew into super fans talking about their heroes was so well done. A reminder that none of us is immune to a little hero worship and awe... and that it's not a bad thing.

We simply need to remember that these people are still people, and that even if we've read every book available, we still don't know their whole story. Some things don't make the history books.

At the end of the episode, they're all animated, and I have to applaud whoever picked up on the fact that Christine does not know how to sit in a chair normally. I mean, in "Lost in Translation" she had one hand between her legs while swiveling at the table.

It's a small detail, but I immediately cheered when I saw it because the characterization was on point.

Alright, before I talk about Future Spock and Christine, I need to address something that really got me: Boimler and Mariner talking to Pike about his birthday.

My father has already lived past his father's age at death. My mother has lived past her mother's, and next year will live past her father's. It's poignant.

But I also love how Boimler points out that the regret Pike feels might be shared by those who love him.

Now, I don't think anyone should be convinced out of doing something that brings them joy, but I am glad they helped steer him toward community. As we saw last Meta, connection is one of Starfleet's greatest gifts.

And having just lost Cheryl a month ago, I'm thinking about how I really treasure all our little moments, even as she was reaching the end. Connection is such a powerful thing.

Also, I genuinely teared up at the Orion Scientist finding out they'd attribute the discovery to him. There is so much prejudice in this world where one sector of a society does something unsavory, and suddenly anyone belonging to that society is seen as undesirable.

It's bullshit, and it needs to stop. Because assumptions like that can literally get people killed. And to see that Orion watch as a man of Starfleet chose to see them for who they were, and was even willing to help write the history that would tell their truth... that was powerful.

Now, let's talk Future Spock and Chapel.

WARNING: Will contain spoilers for the episode AFTER next based on the promo!!

I think it's going to either completely unravel, or start to badly deteriorate next episode. My prediction is that Christine publishes her paper and Korby is so impressed he invites her to Vulcan not as a student, but as his research assistant.

This allows us to stay very close to canon without making it a creepy teacher/student relationship.

Also, I think she's going to find out she's in and sing a big heart song (thank you Zoey's Extraodinary Playlist) about it, but Spock's going to overhear something she never meant to say.

There might be a sad duet sung by the two of them, either in separate rooms, or together. But, we're heading towards a breakdown, in my opinion.

And while I'm sad to see it, it's inevitable, right? Unless they rewrite canon or give us some sneaky way these two reunited in their old age, we know how this story goes.

Whether we'll see them together in Season 3 remains to be seen, of course, but I really hope so.

Why? Because I like to imagine the reason they stay apart is because they're protecting someone or each other... that it was a shared and conscious decision by both of them to do what was necessary for the greater good.

Not because they didn't love one another (though I don't think Christine will admit it until TOS), but because they had to make a hard sacrifice.

That's so bloody Star Trek—people making sacrifices for the greater good.

Yes, I'd love to see these two crazy kids sort it out... but that's not their story. Are there a million possibilities out there that canon could support? Heck, yeah! It can still be a compelling story, even if it's a tragedy.

Think about Shakespeare. All those folks turning out to see his tragedies as much as his comedies—because the stories he told moved people.

Christine and Spock, you beautiful, doomed dears. I wish you much happiness, though I know it won't be possible the way you might've hoped.

#Strange New Worlds #Star Trek Strange New Worlds #Star Trek SNW #Spock #Christine Chapel #Nurse Chapel #Jess Bush #Ethan Peck #Meta #Spapel

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bengiyo · 1 year

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Moonlight Chicken Ep 5 Stray Thoughts

Last time, things got complicated. We got to see Alan, and learned that he doesn't exactly accept that he and Wen are broken up; Alan and Wen are still living together because Wen can't afford to move out. Gaipa's mom joins the ranks of great parents, but is waving multiple death flags. Things came to a head with Li Ming and Jim, and we all realized how painfully aware of their lives Li Ming is. Heart successfully cheered Li Ming up, and we realized that the Chin Tickle is likely something Li Ming learned from Jim. Li Ming also snuck Heart out for a date and took him to meet members of the local deaf community. Finally, Alan showed up at the diner and started a physical altercation, so things are pretty messy.

Just like with Jim and Beam, I'm really glad we're seeing a glimpse of what Wen and Alan were before. It's fun to see First and Mix play off each other. I want this to be remembered as a gay drama, so we need to see more pairings. Still, they were together for over five years, so I kinda get Alan a bit more.

Cutting from their sweet first anniversary to this fight made me feel tense. First and Mix are great here, and I have to know what happened that soured a five-year romance. This fight feels like it could only happen between two people who know exactly how to hurt each other.

Chapter 5: Wrong You in the Right Time

So Gong seems to have a girlfriend.

Wen definitely has to move out. This can't hold anymore.

You know they must have filmed all the scenes at this other restaurant on the same day, because that same bird is chirping so loudly in the background.

Li Ming hates being told not to contribute, when these worries affect him too.

This breakfast is becoming so awkward, but I'm not surprised Gaipa and his mom are willing to help Jim.

You can see Li Ming growing up in real time as he pushes Jim about Wen.

Au Kornprom Nyomsil cameo as the bubble tea seller (he's the director of My School President). Very cute that it's an interaction with Fourth.

Heart and Li Ming picking up temp work as mascots in the mall was not what I was expecting, but I'm sure it'll let Wen meet them first.

And there he is. It's interesting how Wen can avoid talking about his relationship problems with Jim without Li Ming getting frustrated. Li Ming is determined though, and makes sure Wen knows that Gaipa is around more. I like how fond of the boys Wen is, and how quickly he adapted to communicating with Heart.

You can feel the age gap between Jim and Alan. Jim has no intention of trying to assuage Alan, because Jim knows there's nothing he can say, and they can both stay within the professional sphere in the bank. Still, Alan crosses that line when he asks for the pen, and Jim follows suit to assure Alan that he didn't know.

First is so good. The pissy little head jerk he gave when he realized Wen is involved with the diner loan stands out.

Gong's role in this show is to provide completely reasonable advice and clear perspectives.

Wen, he said to talk in person. Stop calling and just go to him.

Oh, Jim. You're absolutely valid for not wanting to get tangled up in someone else's affairs, but I am aching for you.

Fuck, Alan and Wen had rings?? No wonder he's been so upset. Wen should not have put them through this for half a year. This was a painful breakup scene. First and Mix have been incredible this episode.

Li Ming is lying. It's time for this to blow up.

Saleng also hasn't mentioned selling the dowry yet.

The real fantasy of this show is speech-to-text working consistently.

Look at Li Ming following the father's advice to use physical touch with Heart.

Okay, so Heart at least didn't crash into someone else, but his parents are going to freak about him being injured.

That scene with the family was difficult. Gemini is good, too. How long has Heart wanted to say that to his parents? They can't even communicate with him because they didn't learn sign. Did they provide resources for Heart to learn, but didn't use them for themselves? How long would this have gone on if Li Ming hadn't become his friend? How long has he gone without someone to understand him and hug him?

I like timing Wen's arrival after this fight between Li Ming and Jim. Li Ming questions whether Jim would neglect Li Ming like Heart's family, and stresses that he's the only one who could help. Now Wen is here and things are clear. Jim can't turn him away now.

#moonlight chicken meta #midnight series: moonlight chicken #moonlight chicken #thai drama #thai bl #bl series #Ben watches

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bookdragonofsomekind · 2 months

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*****Manga Monday 03*****

Tokyo Ghoul Volume 3

Summary:

Meet Kaneki who has discovered a new evil in his world. The doves are ambitious, clever and completely ruthless when it comes to their duties. It gets harder and harder for Kaneki to draw the line between good and evil. The doves are protecting human society but they also killed the innocent Ryouko in front of her daughter. What’s right and wrong? Is it wrong for Touka to protect Hinami?

Questions that Kaneki doesn’t know the answer to…

Poor Kaneki

New characters you will meet in this volume:

Ruisawa

Ippei Kusaba

Nakajima

Ayato

Kie Muramatsu

Quotes I particularly liked:

"I’ll change that. This world is wrong" - Amon

"Feeding time" - Kaneki

"Don’t make me a murderer" - Kaneki

"Is it okay for me to live…?" - Hinami

My thoughts:

Kaneki is different than the other ghouls around him. And slowly but surely it shows. Not only in his confusion and acceptance of himself as ghoul but also in a scientific way. Only one eye transforms, he regenerates not as fast as other ghouls and now we also learned that he does not have the same high RC- Factors than the others. He therefore is invisible for the human technology so far. He literally has a green card for both sides (even if he smells like a woman in one of those worlds). But, and that is the important part, Kaneki chooses not to stay invisible. We see him crossing his own morals for the first time and actively hurting people to rescue the ones close to his heart. And he does it in his ghoul form while still being human. Being himself. Even though he has some minor problems with the aftermath of his actions. If you haven’t guessed it… im talking about the fight of Kaneki vs. Amon. That’s what this volume is all about. Showing us the reality of what happens when ghouls and doves join a meeting together. The extremes both will go to! But I also have to say that we see two types of fights going on in front of us. And I find it to be an interesting parallel. On the one side you have Kaneki and Amon doing their worst. Physically and verbally. They’re both talking and trying to convince the other one of their perspectives. Kaneki now standing on the ghoul side. A shocker for himself. The fascinating thing is that they are actually listening to each other. Having even some understanding for each other (not much but some).

On the other hand you have the fight between Touka, Hinami and Mado. They are also fighting. And yes also physically and verbally. And yes they are also listening to each other. But understanding is a thing that does not happen. Take Touka who is so so hurt of everything what humans,or should I better say the doves, have done to her (and her family?) that she can’t think straight when a dove hurts one of her own. She only sees one possible way to deal with this situation and protect the ones who are still there. Revenge. And she would risk everything for it. Even herself. And she can’t let loose. The others pain is her pain. And by her way of protecting she accidentally endangers others. Take Kaneki who had more than luck not to be discovered by the technology of the doves or Hinami who because of the attack prior to the doves from Touka is now being hunted. She means good but does harm. She can’t control herself. She is a loose cannon. And therefore reminds me of Mado. I could imagine that Mado once was like Touka and that Touka has the potential to become just like Mado.

Mado is absolutely brilliant, mad and dangerous. And long long gone. He also gives himself to his cause. He is a hunter and collector of rare trophies. He is beyond revenge. He is unreachable. With no clear thought or basic reasoning. He himself is not only collecting the most deadly weapons but he has become the deadliest. And tragically he is not able to wield it anymore. Touka and Mado are screaming, yelling and riling themselves up to see each other loose control.

And poor Hinami is in the middle of all of it. The one everyone (on the ghoul side) wants to protect but simply can’t be, because Hinami sees herself as guilty. Should she be alive? Does she deserve to live? Can she even survive in this harsh reality? When she sees Mado she does not seek out revenge. She realises that that won’t bring her parents back or take her pain away. It only hurts. Hurts so much. And when she sees how cruel and vile Mado is, by recognising Mado's weapon as her mothers and fathers kagune even then she doesn’t go further then protecting Touka from his attacks. She would have let Mado kill her. And she would also be dead if it wasn’t for Touka finally reaching for "her" revenge.

One detail that I found pretty interesting was the marriage band of Mado on his attached hand. I don’t believe that he is still married. The guy is way beyond saving (mentally). But what I could imagine is that he was married and lost his partner to a ghoul accident and that’s also why he went mental. Maybe for him revenge turned into obsession. I mean the guy would have done anything to get his hand(s) on Hinami as a future weapon. Speaking of being head over heels.

Going back to Amon whom I mentioned earlier. I believe him to be a very tragic character. Right from the start we did not see him happy once. All he seems to send into the universe is misery. He definitely has some burden to carry. Personally we still don’t know what exactly happened in his past. Sure he lost some people in his life but I don’t think they were that close to him. But Amon seems to have a gift. Empathy. He is full with it. We see it at the memorial. How he treats the stranger who has just lost his colleague. And of course when Mado dies and Amon finds him (I pretty much doubt that Mado would have showed the same empathy if the roles would have been reversed). That’s also why I believe that he was able to listen and understand Kaneki. Sure he also was confused. Kaneki is not you’re average ghoul. First holding back, not even using his kagune. Amon did not even believe that he was an actual ghoul. Then of course Kaneki had to fight for real but he did something that I think no ghoul has ever done to Amon. He showed mercy. And that exactly planted something in Amon. And I don’t think that Amon likes that. It’s nice to see the world in black and white. It’s easy to find his way around and to draw lines without crossing them… even easier. But now he has a problem. A problem he is not alone with. But I doubt that Kaneki will help in the near future (but I hope so). I could imagine that Amon and Kaneki could one day fight for the same cause or at least at each others sides.

This volume we have been blessed again with the presence of Yomo. Yomo being the lifebelt for Kaneki after he looses control of his ghouls side. Attacking Yomo as a consequence. But Yomo apparently doesn’t mind. In general… Yomo gives me good uncle vibes. He is the one you call when you need a ride home from a party because you couldn’t hold your liquor. A place to feel safe without much judging.

I’m glad that Mado is gone. Don’t get me wrong he was an interesting first villain but I didn’t see a chance for him to survive if Hinami was suppose to live. Mado is a bloodhound that doesn’t let loose. And maybe it gives Touka some kind of closure. But I don’t think so. But what I do hope is that Hinami actually got through to Touka. Maybe seeing how Hinami hurt differently than Touka, it could give Touka a wake up call. But than again… we still don’t know exactly what happened to her but we get to know someone from her past. Ayato. Who he is I don’t know. But he left Touka. Of his own free will. That must have hurt differently. Kaneki has also done some work on himself. He now seeks to find his place in the world. He recognised his power or rather said his influence on Amon and that got him thinking… maybe he is really part of both worlds. We shall see. But still for that to happen he needs to get control of the ghoul inside him. And a nutrition plan.

The last chapter was a nice edition and showed the loss for Amon that Mado is. Amon was his student. He learned so much from him. I think they were partners for four years and this time Amon learned a lot from him. I have to say that Mado was crazy yes. But he was a great mentor. One of the best. That’s why Amon now is one of the best as well… so Mado's legacy lives on.

Little by little we get more and more details about how the doves work and function. It seems to be a huge network that includes the humans as "spies". They have really good technology to identify ghouls and their weapons are recycled and deadly.

I think prior to this post I said that Uta and Yomo were my faves so far. Please put Amon on this list aswell. I like him pretty much (not only because of his sportsplan) but for the potential future I mentioned earlier. I can see "good" things coming our way (maybe not for him… or anyone). But I think that’s it for this volume! I will see y’all next Monday! Bye bye

Please leave your thoughts and be kind and don’t spoiler anything!

Thank you for taking your time!

Please feel free to discuss your thoughts, I would like to hear them!

I will see you in a week with a new volume!

#book review #manga #reading #sui ishida #tokyo ghoul #book #ken kaneki

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sloelimbs · 10 months

Note

Babe I'm gonna give you total creative freedom bc I trust you completely, BUT if you want a prompt, let's go with 'pineapple.'

since i'm down to my last two requests (i know it's taking me forever, i'm sorry, i have medical shit going down) i'm just going to pop in here that my askbox is open and i take requests! now, the story:

The line comes to him with the same kind of flash of inspiration as a riff, or a brilliant lyric, several years into his employment at the Hideout. He still plays on Tuesdays, because he and the guys could never give up on the double Cs, but more or less every other night of the week he’s in there serving drinks and cleaning glasses. It’s not without resentment that Eddie acknowledges he’s met more girls with a cocktail shaker in his hand (because Fridays are ladies nights, so cocktails are on the menu) than with his guitar.

Of course, that was before Chrissy Cunningham started working with him. Okay, so she doesn’t exactly work with him but she’s in the goddamn bar, ain’t she? It doesn’t matter that she’s also, you know, on the bar. He wouldn’t let anyone actually touch her (and nor would the other girls, for that matter) but God what do they do to the cheerleaders in this town to make them so consistently hot? It’s clearly not the uniform (he’d been worried about that), so what? The natural rhythm she has, moving so that her skin lights up like she’s covered in scales, hipbones glowing beneath low riding shorts, and how (even covered in sweat with her hair dark and curling from it) beautifully alive she is with the music replacing the blood in her veins? He knows she feels that too. Music is a living thing that takes a person over; this he knows because he makes it. Eddie suspects Chrissy was born with it.

Anyway, the line he comes up with smacks him clear between the eyes - a chord progression, a bridge appearing from nowhere - just as the last stragglers are being shooed out of the door and Chrissy is drying her hair perched on a table. It’s beyond fucking genius, he just knows it. He’s about to pick her up with the smoothest shit that’ll ever leave his mouth and he’s extra fucking cocky about swaggering up to her with a towel over his shoulder and his arms crossed over his chest. He’s always grateful that his work clothes are flattering but tonight he’s seriously considering thanking a God he doesn’t really believe in for his luck. She looks up at him quizzically, then smiles a smile so big that actually he thinks his smoothness might have a little pulp in it after all. Shit. Fuck. It’s too late, he’s already opening his mouth, and what falls out of it is;

“If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple.” What that fuck was that, Munson, you enormous fucking clowncar of a man? Smooth his fucking foot oh God he’s going to run his own head over with his van. The fuck is he talking about? What is this nonsense?

Why can’t Chrissy be as easy to talk to as the bimbos that come in here with their bachelorette parties?

“Wow.” But she’s laughing! That’s a good sign! It’s not even polite laughter - it’s a hideous little giggle that he immediately wants to find again, grin immediate on his mouth, watching the gaps between her teeth. “I bet you say that to all the girls.”

“Normally I’m much better than this.”

“You realise that makes you sound like a womanising jerk, right?” Chrissy crosses one long bare leg over the other and brushes the rhinestones hanging against her collarbone over her shoulder, raises her eyebrows and puckers her mouth at him. Sweet baby Jesus. That’s not true, not really, not from his perspective but if this is a game and this is how she wants the rules to be then he can do that. He sits at the table and folds his arms on the top.

“Maybe you should make an honest man of me, Cunningham. What time do you get off?”

“Same time as you, obviously.”

“I have some kush back at my trailer, if you felt like joining me.” The smile on her face grows, and her eyes flick from his own to his mouth, and it doesn’t matter that the pick up line ended up being the most embarrassing thing he could ever say because she leans down over him and slots her fingers along the bone of his jaw. Now he knows how all the heroines feel when the hero finally catches up with them. It’s a very strange place to be. Worth it, though. Oh God, so worth it, because she parts her lips against his and her tongue is coated in sugar and cinnamon from shots of cherry sours and Big Red bubblegum. When she pulls back, that tongue lingers for a second between his teeth and with a shiver he starts to laugh. He can’t help it. “It’s pineapple. The kush.”

“Wow. I can’t believe I’m going home with you and you’re this much of an idiot.”

“Chrissy, what can I say? I’m a talented guy.”

#hellcheer #chrissy x eddie #eddie x chrissy #eddissy #eddie munson #chrissy cunningham x eddie munson #chrissy cunningham #eddie munson x chrissy cunningham #thank you darling!!!!#i tried to go for lighthearted #and barman eddie is like one step away from line cook eddie and i know how we feel about line cooks right now #LOVE YOU #justhere4thevibez #buddies and pals #always taking requests

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sapphicfolch · 4 months

Text

wintertime relay race

hello, @protectingourfuture! i am your secret santa in @codesecretsanta's game and, before you start reading, i need to make two things clear: one, i never understood how timezones work, so i really hope i'm posting this on time. two, english is not my first language, so i hope you can forgive any awkward mistakes.

i really, really hope you like it!! i had a lot of fun writing for you.

As soon as the last kernel popped inside of Yumi’s microwave, a timer set off inside her head. She almost slammed the door shut, using the very last second to yell out.

“Maïtena from school left her books here! It’ll just be a minute!” Her backpack, with all her books, of course, rested unopened on top of her bed.

Her thick boots kept her from slipping on the icy pavement that led to the academy — she even dared to glide across it, just as she’d done that very morning. When she crawled under the gate, through the growing space almost hidden by the brushwood, she couldn’t help but stiffen a laugh.

“Already the second time I have had to sneak in here today…”, she explained to Jeremie. The boy, in the warmest of his brown pyjamas and beige wellingtons to match, looked down upon her with the question tinting his face. She hadn’t even put on a coat, and, from Jeremie’s perspective, she was just a face and an arm blossoming from the snowy hedges — undoubtedly for him, too much of a cold and uncomfortable position to laugh in. “They should just turn this into an official entrance.” And with the proposition, a wave goodbye and a carried-out exchange, the girl disappeared under the bushes the same way she had appeared.

Jeremie started now his sprint, bag in his hand. He seemed confident enough for the first few turns, or perhaps too focused on not getting caught to notice his own exhaustion, but as soon as he crossed the finish line —the threshold of the dorms’ building— he allowed himself a quick breath. The popcorns were certainly colder than when he’d gotten them, where they were already lukewarm at best, with the horrible weather, rather than his running stamina, being to blame. He climbed carefully up the stairs, his soaked boots threatening to make him slip at any second, and finally made his way to his room. Quickly, he disposed of his boots and donned warm socks, leaving the popcorn bag on top of his tower all the while. It had been running one of its many test programmes for Aelita’s materialization all evening, and its heat could very well cook the popcorn itself. When he grabbed them again, the bag, at the very least, was considerably warmer.

He then knocked on the door a few rooms down, where he was greeted by a boy with eyebags as dark as his hair. Without the need to exchange a word, luckily for both of them, he turned the popcorn in and marched away towards the warmth of his room, or, perhaps, that of the showers. Either way, Ulrich dismissed him with a playful military salute and turned to his own ordeal.

“Was that the priest, Ulrich? Please, tell me he was here to give me the last sacraments…” A voice moaned inside his room.

“For the last time, Odd, you have a cold. It’s not even the flu or anything, you were just fine while fighting this very morning!” He retorted.

“Oh… Fighting… How I miss it… Do you think I’ll be able to go back to Lyoko ever again?”

The voice came from under a suffocating mountain of blankets and heating pads. One could have had trouble recognizing it if they hadn’t spent the entire evening answering to its requests and wailing. As the only answer to his question, Ulrich threw himself on top of the blankets and ignored the “ouch!” and the canine cry that came out.

“Jeremie brought Yumi’s popcorn. Now move over and tell Kiwi to do the same, I want to watch the movie as well.”

Grumbling, the entire mass of cloth rolled over, offering a single breach for Ulrich to crawl in. The tiny space, already populated by one sick Odd and an equally ailing Kiwi, would have been too hot to bear for almost anyone who hadn’t spent the last nights at Kadic Academy. Despite everyone’s complaints about the cold, Delmas had stated that he wasn’t going to turn the heating on until the first day of winter, which was still a few days away. Thus, Ulrich couldn’t help but be grateful about the sweat that started coating his forehead as soon as he opened the popcorn. He took a handful of them before turning the bag to his starving friend.

“What are we watching?”, he then asked.

“I don’t know”. Odd shrugged and blew his nose into one of the blankets. “Some war film.”

“You really are sick”, exclaimed Ulrich. Odd hadn’t bothered to explain the plot from beginning to end, stopping only to point out every movie he knew every actor from and then explaining the plot to that movie, “some war film” felt to him as a confirmation that the world was ending.

He placed his palm against Odd’s forehead, trying to feel any possible signs of a fever. Odd let himself lean on the hand, as if almost falling asleep on it —the unusual comfort of his friend’s hand was certainly soothing— and it was now Ulrich’s time to joke.

“’Some war film’ sounds incredibly boring”, he said, hiding a half smile. “We might as well watch that new Polar Express movie again.”

Odd seemed to come back to life for a second.

“Over my dead body! I find motion capture animation disturbing, Ulrich, you know it!”

“Alright, alright!” Ulrich put his arms up in defence, always pleased to get a rise out of his friend. “And I suppose you don’t want any of those… Clueless, Hearthers versions that have been coming out this year.”

“Not today”, he sighed. “I need to have my full mental powers to appreciate the finesse of most of those.”

“And how about…”

“Ulrich,” Odd cut him off, sounding more serene than he had the entire day “I actually want to watch ‘some war film’.”

“Oh… alright” Ulrich mumbled, almost caught off guard by the apparent and sudden improvement.

“And I’m sick, so you have to watch it as well” he added cheerfully, coughing into the blankets again. “Also, no complaining! You have to pretend you like it.”

And just like that, Odd went back to his cuddling position around Kiwi, who ended up fleeing from the scorching heat after only a few minutes. Ulrich didn’t wait for his friend to complain once more —this time, Ulrich would admit, with the right to do so— before throwing his arm around his shoulders, dragging them closer. Odd had his reddened eyes glued to the screen, breathing in every second of the film; Ulrich, instead, could only look at him, a single question on his mind.

“Have you been blowing your nose on my blanket?”

#code lyoko #code secret santa

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burner2047 · 4 months

Text

This series was an unexpected joy that got my 2024 off to a lovely start.

The two lead actors give convincing and moving performances and the take on “coming of age” feels fresh. There are “Heartstopper” vibes here, especially with the scenes that “sparkle” but this story is all its own and I loved it.

I recommend.

EDIT: I was scrolling through posts about this show and was disappointed to see how so many tumblrs seem to fetishize this show and other shows in the genre or milieu. Talking about “tropes,” analyzing it as if it is real or fantasizing and speculating about characters lives outside of what’s explicitly told. I suppose it is their way of possessing something they love but I find it unsettling and off-putting. It is good to have things in your life that you enjoy and make you feel good but while perhaps ultimately harmless for others, the obsessiveness, fetishization, and possessiveness over fictions is very disturbing and unhealthy for me. So to be clear — I am not someone who is interested in those things and I am not that way. I am coming from a perspective wherein I let things just be as they are without comparison or dissection, and I never think about how something could have been, should have been or might be. It is only what it is. I could never be a “fan” of anything because that crosses a line that I am uncomfortable with. Please do not engage with me on that level. Thanks.

#i can’t reach you #i cannot reach you #tv #streaming #Netflix #Japanese #manga

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inquisimer · 1 year

Note

Hello and happy DADWC!! For a prompt, how about: Cullen/Lavellan, ugly boots?

hellooooo happy friday!! a bit of post-IYHSB fluff for these two tonight🥰

for @dadrunkwriting

“Put them on.”

“No.”

“You must.”

“Absolutely not.”

“You must,” Cullen repeated, squatting next to her cot. Neria refused to meet his eyes, crossing her arms and staring petulantly at the canvas tent over his shoulder.

He pushed the boots toward her once more. “We have nothing else.”

“Then I’ll go barefoot.”

“In the Frostbacks? We have no idea how long we’ll be here or how far we’ll have to walk once we find somewhere to go.”

He nudged the boots forward again. Neria regarded them as one might a pile of nug shit.

They were well made, though larger and more obtuse than the soft pair she’d been skating by on since coming to Haven. She longed for the footwraps she’d had to give up upon reaching Ferelden. She missed their soft comfort against her arches and how they still smelled faintly of elfroot and aravels.

But the colors.

Despite the fading of time, the majority of the boots still glowed like a torchbug in the dead of night. There were stripes and swoops of neon pink and blue, dusty and grimy but unmistakable. The cuff between the upper and lower parts was still yet another blue, more like the sky in the midst of a clear day, but one which clashed horribly with the already mismatched shades.

She refused to wear such a hideous visage.

“Solas does it,” she countered. “I’m sure he can teach me whatever spell he’s using.”

Cullen sighed, a weary sound from deep in his throat. “You need to preserve your strength. Or have you already forgotten that a whole mountain fell upon you?”

“Hardly.” Her eyes snapped to his, fierce and glaring. Her arms and legs were littered with scrapes and tiny wounds left from the splinters she’d fallen through in the wake of her confrontation with Corypheus. Healing magic had left a sting in her extremities, better than frostbite, but still unpleasant in its own right. And of course her mark, though stabilized once more, had spiraled out to cover her entire palm. The lines closer to the center of her hand were a darker green, almost black, while those that stretched toward her wrist and fingertips now mirrored the Breach.

“It’s not something one forgets so easily, if at all.”

“Then you know that you don’t have the mana to spare when there are perfectly decent boots here!”

“I’m perfectly capable of judging my own magical limits, thank you.”

Cullen ignored her snipe. “These are all we have left. Any few pairs we managed to collect in the retreat have already been passed out to villagers. We—the people need to see you on your feet.”

“The people should have raised up a profit who cared what they thought,” Neria muttered. But her words lacked all bite and Cullen knew it.

Of course she cared. But that didn’t make her any more keen on the boots.

“Is the idea of keeping all ten toes and rejoining this” —he gestured toward where she assumed the remainder of the camp stretched— “chaos truly so unappealing?”

Neria pressed her lips together.

“Please, Neria.” His voice dropped and Neria could hear the utter exhaustion that weighed him down. Usually held back by his immense willpower, the fall of Haven and their retreat into the Frostbacks, and his subsequent responsibility for dozens of citizens in a frozen wasteland—real or perceived—had worn it away.

“We’ve talked and fought in circles. We need a fresh perspective—or at least someone who can stem the arguments when they stop having purpose. You are that person” —he held up a hand at her noise of protest— “you are. That’s how we got this far.”

He offered her the boots once more. “Please.”

“Fine.” Neria pulled the boots toward her and began loosening the laces with a grumble. “But don’t expect any miracles. And don’t be surprised if everyone assumes Andraste’s withdrawn her favor when they see these.”

“Ah, but how could She withdraw what you never had?” said Cullen cheekily, turning her own insistence back on her. With a chuckle, he ducked out of the tent.

Neria shook her head. “Touché, Commander, touché.”

#my writing #dadwc #dragon age fanfic #dragon age #dragon age inquisition #cullavellan #oc: neria surana lavellan #neria x cullen

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canyouhearthelight · 2 years

Text

The Miys, Ch. 199

Did you know that certain digital assistants will read you your alarm notes and scare the absolute soul out of you?

Now we both do.

On that note, reader shout outs for this week are: @ireadandcooktoomuch, @notcruvusmemes, @darkangel4366, @lostgirlsandpixiedust, @jeycavalkyrie.

Also, thanks as always to the phenomenal @baelpenrose who y’all really should read, like now, he has so many series and I have no idea how he writes so much, except I literally have the joy of watching him do it so I can attest that he is doing it. Still not sure how, bc he also writes for academic purposes.

Bastard (affectionate).

This chapter is also dedicated to @drbibliophile. Hopefully, Gaia knows why.

Parvati and I confirmed the ninety-three names for who was a definite yes for what we were calling med school. “Eighty percent isn’t a bad start,” Parvati pointed out as we finished. “And yes, I know it’s the rest that are going to be the frustrating part, but if we don’t focus on the positives this early one, we’re going to be burned out before we’re halfway through.”

“I’m not arguing,” I admitted. “Everyone, take a break, stretch your legs. I want all of us at least listening in on the call to Grey.”

A brief silence was broken by Tyche’s clarification. “Less chance that information is lost through passing it on, more ears to cross reference, and more minds to give Sophia ideas to work with. I guarantee that Grey is going to have Antoine on the line, since medical decisions have always been his call anyway, and we all know he’s smart as fuck.”

With that, I silenced the call on my end and started stretching to clear my head. My sister hadn’t been kidding when she mentioned how sharp Antoine’s mind was, and Grey was far from a slouch. As soon as I absently heard the door hiss with Alistair’s exit, I started muttering a litany of information to myself. “Start with the big ask - two week delayed start, rotating alternating shifts, ten on, ten off. Time and a half credit… I can eat up to half the overtime if need be. Not like I use the credits anyway.”

Arms straight over my head, I slowly arched to put my palms on the floor. “Grey focuses on precision and perfection, so aim the ask for more of the trainee list at Antoine. He appreciates the value of nurses, most stuff doesn’t need a surgeon. Ask for pharmacists, too.”

Deep breaths. Twenty seconds in, twenty seconds out. “Talk to Sam, he’ll know what we can pull off from a botanical perspective. Conor, too.”

The cycle repeated twice before I heard Alistair return. “Have I ever told you how utterly bizarre it is to watch you do calisthenics during official calls?”

“Tying the information to motion helps my brain,” I protested softly, not even opening my eyes. “And breathing exercises keep me calm while I’m doing it.”

“I’ve heard the theory, believe me,” he sighed. “Farro is insufferable about being able to keep up a conversation while exercising. As though I want witty repartee with my riposte.”

My composure cracked as I smirked and opened one eye at him. “You love it.”

“It’s annoying.”

Wagging my head side to side, I cleared my mind and repeated my stretches and reminders one more time before resuming my pacing, albeit at a much slower speed than it had been while on the phone with Huynh. “Where are we at on everyone being back?”

“Waiting on Hannah,” he answered carefully. “She needed to take dinner to Alice, since your household’s tendency to forget meals unless they are highly fragrant and within arms’ reach seems contagious.”

“Hate to tell you, but I’m so far beyond feeling bad about that - “

“I’m here!” came Hannah’s voice, breathless. “Sorry, had to - “

“Don’t apologize!” three of us scolded.

“Correction, I’m here. Full stop. Are we waiting on anyone else?” she corrected, a slight laugh in her tone.

“It looks like we’re all ready,” Alistair confirmed. “Councilor Reid, if you will?”

“You betcha,” I confirmed. “Opening call to Grey Hodenson, full audio receiving for myself and my direct reports, sending only for myself. This is your reminder: please direct all suggestions and questions directly to those reporting to this office, I’ll have the text feeds coming through my table emitter to ensure I can see them.” I initiated the signal while watching my text feeds, Tyche’s delicate moderation touch on full display.

“Sophia,” came Grey’s typically curt greeting. “I did not anticipate that you would be finished so quickly, and while I trust that your work is impeccable as always, I suspect that there is another reason you are reaching out.”

“For once, you are only half correct.” I tried my best to sound lofty. “I have some concerns regarding the ask for medical and engineering personnel that I would like clarification on, please.”

“Allow me to contact Administrator Costa, one moment.” Less than a minute later, Grey was back. “I have him on the call, Sophia, please proceed with your questions.”

Briefly, I sketched out Huynh’s questions, making sure not to relay that they came from any one person. Alistair’s reminders helped me to flesh them out, and when I finished, he nodded to confirm that he had them gathered and ready to send over. “My office is sending a document over now for you both to review. Once you confirm, I would like to start with the ask regarding more personnel from the groups who have more general and less field-specific knowledge.”

Go big or go home.

The objection came immediately. “As I specified, the list I provided are the most highly trained individuals we have on the Ark for what we need. In addition to other professional knowledges, they all have demonstrated general proficiency and multiple specialties.”

“I understand,” I confirmed, reaching for the floor. “But as we both discussed, one medical professional per one hundred people is both too much and too little. Expanding the criteria to include more people who would otherwise be considered general practitioners, family doctors, and various degrees of nurses gives us a level of pervasive health care we couldn’t dream of on Terra.”

Grey started to speak, but Antoine smoothly inserted himself to the conversation. “It does raise a good point, when you consider that nearly everyone in the colony will be first aid certified as a baseline. On a new and unfamiliar world, it is a benefit to aim for everyone to have at least one neighbor who can splint a broken bone or pack a wound.”

“My concern is the quality of care,” Grey objected, if it could be called that. They were extremely polite, and it was a genuine concern. Except…

“Not every cut and sprain requires a neurosurgeon,” Antoine pointed out. “Even a long-retired nurse can address such issues with improvised supplies.” Without delay, an alert vibrated against my wrist. “I have sent you the entire list of medically trained personnel, divided by level of knowledge described in Terran equivalent.”

“Thank you, Antoine. And Grey? I promise not to use this as an excuse to put less effort into what you asked for. I’m well aware that we are going to need anyone touching the new equipment to be trained on it, and that’s going to happen. But there is a very good chance that we can’t get everyone, and even ninety surgeons per ten thousand people is a better prospect when you have a thousand doctors and nurses supporting them.”

“Ninety?”

“The rest of my questions are geared toward making sure we don’t get even close to that low,” I assured them. “I just wanted to get the worst-case scenario out of the way.”

Their tone was suspicious, but they relented. “Proceed.”

“We already know that roughly forty-five people you requested were going to be hard to get commitments from, since they are already essential in their current roles. It’s been brought to my attention that close to a dozen require no less than seven levels of downstream training for replacements.” Seven is closer to a dozen than to zero, I reminded myself. Barely. “Is there any chance of delayed training, beyond the time it will take for the engineers to work out the new equipment?”

Grey nearly choked, from what I could hear. “We only have four months until landfall, Sophia.”

The table emitter lit up, and I grinned when I saw Hannah’s point. “True,” I admitted. “But the new equipment is being designed with native materials in mind. Theoretically, we have all the time in the world for that small group.”

“They will be behind their peerage, and you just stated that you were only planning to use under-trained personnel as a contingency.”

Grey had a point, but from the strangled sound on the line, Antoine didn’t agree.

Trying to avoid a fight, I relented a bit. “I’m only asking for a couple extra weeks, if needed, with incentives to those who can start sooner.”

“Incentives such as?”

“Training in split shifts and increased calorie credits per shift, which I have liberty to negotiate with you.” Not a win, yet, but it was looking promising. “Fifty percent extra in credits, with rotating split shifts, one shift on and one shift off.” Start high, right? I stretched my fingers toward the ceiling and closed my eyes, waiting for the response.

“Their work will not directly benefit the community in the immediate term, so fifty percent is much too high,” Grey objected. “Longer term, delayed benefit merits ten percent.”

“High personal sacrifice should merit more,” I pushed back. “Especially when it will be a life-saving benefit in the long term. At least forty percent.”

“My office can only authorize twenty-five percent,” they confessed, sighing. “Forty percent is retroactive hazard pay.”

“I can probably swing twenty-five,” I hedged, mentally cheering that I would, at most, need to subsidize five. If I couldn’t get Xiomara to do it, which was more likely to go over than under. “What about the rotating split shifts?”

“I cannot strenuously object to that, although it will put them in between those with a delayed start and those who start immediately. I trust that you intend to negotiate that, on the training end as well, to maximize their efficiency?”

The text feed erupted into laughter, and even Antoine chuckled. “I will, yes,” I forced out as solemnly as possible. “But for some of your candidates, this is the compromise between choosing their family and choosing the training opportunity.”

“This is a fair point. One I had not considered.”

Clearly. Closing my eyes, I took a couple more deep breaths. “My last point is one that did not come up on the original request, but I am trying to anticipate it: we need biochemists and botanists from your department dedicated as pharmacists and to consult on using sustainable materials to create some of the equipment. I trust that you are prepared to lend them?”

Finally, my fellow Councilor broke with a scoff. “Of course I am. On demand, as needed throughout the retooling.”

“And the ones that do not report to you?” I ventured carefully. “I already made a note to speak with Sam and Conor, but they aren’t yours to allocate. And since neither are on the list of medical candidates, they aren’t priority to take them off their current work. Have you considered that?”

A beat of silence before Antoine stepped in again. “Most of our practical botanists are volunteers,” he advised. “In the past, there was no need to have them report directly, as there are plenty for what we have needed accomplished.”

“They cannot be allocated to me, can they?”

I had never heard Grey sound meek before, and it nearly broke my heart. Deep breaths, I reminded myself. “No, they cannot. Conor is our lead structural engineer, for example. I have no desire for my home to collapse on me in the middle of the night, so we’re looking at strictly volunteer basis for these. Fortunately, just a glance at the list assures me that your top candidates will be happy to reorient their community shifts effective… oh about a month ago, or so?”

“A month ago?”

“They’re insanely curious.” I shrugged even though I knew Grey couldn’t see it. “No one tries to adapt catnip for alien environments without a level of curiosity that is rapidly approaching insanity. It’s just not necessary. The month is just as far back as they had more reliable data on Von. They’ve been fine-tuning as they go - I think they are on sixth generation, right now? In parallel, if that means anything.”

“They aren’t waiting for the plants to mature before gestating the next batch,” came the absent-minded reply. “And they are testing qualities at each level of maturity?”

“Daily,” I confirmed. Gods knew I had heard plenty from Jokul, Conor, and Sam. Every. Damned. Day. “Definitely daily tests.”

“Fascinating.” Part of me cheered at the thoughtful tone in Grey’s voice. “Absolutely fascinating. Do you have any insight into how they anticipated this need?”

I couldn’t contain my laughter any more. No matter how earnest the question was, it was one of the silliest things I had heard in my life. “Grey!” I gasped. “I’m so sorry, I’m really not laughing at you.” Deeeeep breath. “Just… Botanists, especially amateurs, are crazy. Low stakes, short turnaround, zero ethical quandries. They do shit for the fuck of it, constantly. If it dies, oh well, try again. Our most well-known history of genetics starts with a botanist and pea plants, because who cares about peas?” I didn’t hear any responses for several minutes while I calmed down. “But really, you take five thousand people with a green thumb, low estimate. Give them ten years in a controlled environment and one-third of each day dedicated to just… fucking around…”

“And, mathematically, you get at least ten who know how to get reliable results of a very specific nature every time,” they filled in.

“Well, add a specific challenge, and… more like thirty, but yeah,” I confirmed. “More if there is a recreational benefit. I guarantee that over five thousand people on this ship can cultivate several of Sam’s vegetable varieties, and at least half that can grow three or more strains of marijuana.”

“Absolutely fascinating.”

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#the miys #found family #humans are weird #science fiction #aliens #apocalypse #humans are space orcs #humans are space fae #earth is space australia #post apocalypse #post post apocalypse #original science fiction #original sci fi #original writing

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yasyaryzhik · 1 year

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For this assignment, I chose to photoshop two photographs. One that I found while researching my photographer - Steve McCurry.

In this photo, people are fishing for their livelihood. They use particular devices: structures made of sticks and even longer sticks to hunt. They stand on these structures to walk to the depth. The photo conveys an entire atmosphere.

The photo's setting is recognizable, and the time is daylight, around midday. I found a photo of a massive tsunami. This wave is unusual, as it goes in a circle and leaves an empty island in the center. That's where I decided to photoshop people. Thus, the meaning of the photo has changed. Now people are fishing without seeing the impending tsunami. They might not survive, or maybe they will. Nobody is sure of what will occur to them next. However, it is clear from the picture that they are present-oriented. This image serves as a reminder of how to live. You can't foretell what will happen next, so it would be better to look to the future, exercise caution, and live in the moment. I also included a man who was photographing everything while distantly observing a fisherman. The third perspective is represented by this man, who also increases the image's realism. People will always watch your life through social media or being physically present. It may also imply that others are making fun of what you are doing, but you can interpret it in any way you like.

In terms of composition, I used elements of art to create an image; colour, space, line, texture, and value. Furthermore, I constructed my image using the principles of art; balance, contrast, movement, and unity.

To photoshop, I used my Ipad and the program "ProCreate." It is also more convenient to work in digital media. It saves you time, and you have more material to work with, giving you an enormous field to work on. First, I created a new file and inserted the tsunami photo. Then, I inserted Steve McCurry's shot into the different layers. Then, using the eraser brush, I carefully removed the background, leaving only people's figures and their sticks. Unfortunately, it turned out people were too massive and had not fit into the whole idea and picture. So I make them smaller, using the distort tool. Next, I made some objects bigger and some smaller. Then, I added more colours to the new photo. Next step, I chose to photoshop the man to the bottom left corner. The picture was cropped, so I needed to draw him hair and a new hand. That's what I did using a "0.5 calligraphic" brush. Then, I photoshopped the phone with the photo to create the effect that he is doing that photo.

I used the contrast of blue, white and sand yellow colours as these colours show calm and peace (contrast and colour). White represents life and hope. I left the background (lack of negative space) to add to the difference and juxtapose the focal point (fishermen). A man taking a picture also adds balance (balance and space). Asymmetry Balance illustrates the visual weight of an image - man on the left and fishermen on the right sight. I used a lot of lines to make a cross shape to create a rhythm. The spaces, correlations, and differences between subjects (waves and fishermen) in my image reflect the rhythm. It also gives a sense of vibrancy and life to an image. I try to cultivate a sense of unity using similar colours and elements. To understand the movement, the viewer should look from the bottom (fishermen) up to the tsunami and at the end to the bottom left corner, where the man is taking a picture. After that, the viewer should observe the whole picture.

In conclusion, I liked I like how my image turned out. However, I was a bit scared that it would not look realistic and would not convey a message and explain the difference from the original photo concept. What I like about my poster is that it gives you euphoria for a moment and grabs your attention. It creates lasting appeal for viewers and myself. I stared at my image continuously to look at the details. Speaking of the parties, that is the part I wanted to change if I did this work again. I could have added more details related to the plot to the image. It would have created a longer-lasting appeal and made people stare at my photo for more than one minute.

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jonathankatwhatever · 2 years

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That was astounding.

I’ve never approached such physical understanding and acceptance. On my side, that crossed over the dividing line yesterday when I realized that I now looked like I should, and with the exception of a small handful on belly, exactly like I want, which means the I//I process matches the SBE2 identity chain Ends. I sensed the same thing happening in my appreciation of you, which I mentioned yesterday. This became something which truly startled me because it strikes at the core of what I’ve been puzzled about in my most literal, most physical attractions.

I saw a bikini shot and suddenly the connection appeared that the hips are higher, and that I’ve always very specifically identified that aspect. So I looked up photos of the various examples of fantasy women, and the ones that remain in my mind all have that trait. The breast sizes varied, which explained a lot because I couldn’t straighten out how I felt about that until this moment. By hips, I mean the tops of the bone. It’s like the belly button is enclosed within the form. I was astonished to realize that is the type I idealize to the extent that I remove the head. That sounds weirder than it is. I mean some fantasy is driven from the perspective of the head, meaning mostly the face, but of course the shape of the head and then how it sits, how it moves, etc. And some is driven from the perspective of the body. This is the ideal from the perspective of the body. I could never pull that apart before this AMT.

That finally resolved the very long-term conflict, which is a representation of a confusion, to be specific, meaning a grouping of complications, meaning a structure. Imagine this as a battle of individuals within a battle of groups, or a battle of groups enclosing a battle of individuals. That generates the two perspectives. And that, it is now clear, are the pairing, meaning the pairing inherent in, for example, a D24 lattice or in the very concept of SBE and SBE2 identity.

So, to pull this together a bit, I see two at the higher level where my attractions necessarily break into two perspectives, one generating from the physical, which idealizes from the body for me into that specific form, and the other generating from the head, where head means who you are. That fits you together in my head for the first time. And I realized this AMT that what I really want is you entirely inside me because then I can be entirely inside you.

I need to switch topics.

The eye, face contraction is addicting now that I’ve connected it to the conception of behaviors which are lost. I am learning even as I type how to focus the contraction at the end of my nose, which requires a Triangular to the pins on either side, so the tension aligns at the 1Segment divider. That 1Segment divider is the Irreducible, meaning it is the appearance of the I(y) in I(x), etc.

I am seeing startling results in the tightness of my face. I’m also seeing vision effects. Like if I work the contractions, I can achieve perfect vision in my right eye. The left eye is more that I can see the individual permutations which appear, and then as I hold the contraction, the permutations simplify into a ridiculously clear image. That means the lens is shaping, which indicates eye work changed with reading, meaning relaxing the eyes because eye work changed to a consistent distance. That has the effect I’ve noticed from weights: they build a structure but the structure is full of errors. It has taken me years to relax my muscles enough so I can now fully contract them.

But then, it took forever to free my rib cage and my spine so I could stand. So it’s not a surprise that I only rediscovered the palate push yesterday. The palate push connects the contraction across the eyes and nose, call that the central face contraction, to posture: it contracts the back of the neck down the top of the upper back along the spine. It pulls me up straight, raises my head, lifts my eyes

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section-69 · 2 years

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Why Is Quark Hot?

It's been driving me mad since I first watched the show. I'd seen Quark before on TNG, loved his cameos, but it wasn't until halfway through season two of DS9 that I let myself notice that Quark is hot. Logically, I feel like he should not be hot! He is a freaky little alien capitalist! But since I'm not alone, here's some reasons why. Warning: long post, I put way too much thought into this.

We like him so we're biased

This is the reason I see most often in fandom. We like Quark, so we find him hot. I think there's truth here - personally I started finding him hot during the episode Profit and Loss, where Quark takes the moral high ground and puts himself in danger to protect someone he loves. Maybe we're just used to Quark? Our brains say "hey that's Quark! We like Quark!" and some wires get crossed until we find him pretty. I think there's more to it though.

2. He's GNC AF

I'm not really talking about Profit and Lace, though I do like the episode for the most part. Quark learns pretty quickly how to be comfortable while presenting female, but he's also been GNC in other ways before. His taste in women tends to be strong, capable people who could easily slit his throat such as Natima Lang, Grilka, and Pel - far from the Ferengi ideal of a nude submissive housewife. His relationship with Pel before she came out as female, as well as whatever he's got going on with Odo, and even his attraction to Dax all makes him read as queer. He exhibits charitable impulses, regularly acts on them, even to the point that he loses profit himself - far from what you'd expect of a "true" Ferengi male. That might seem more of a culture thing than a gender thing, but especially since we're talking about aliens with very clearly defined gender roles here, I'm gonna say that gender Is culture. By subverting those roles, Quark reads as gender non conforming, which is - in my opinion - very sexy of him

3. Clear, sexy voice

Yes I know how deranged I sound. I do maintain that Quark's voice is attractive in general (especially when he's angry about something, like his "The line has to be drawn here" from The Dogs of War, and honestly all of his speeches. He's a good speaker), but I specifically mean in contrast to other Ferengi. All Ferengi have big teeth, and for most actors that creates an interesting speech effect. Quark also has this, but to a lesser extent than characters like Zek, Leck, and Brunt. Armin Shimmerman acts through the prosthetics very well, and it makes Quark easier to listen to than other Ferengi. Therefore, if you approach media like I do and meet each character on their own level, then Quark comes across as clear and well spoken - attractive qualities.

4. Confident

Look at all those other Ferengi males in their lobe enhancing headpieces. Quark is too confident for that. This could read as another GNC thing, but enough other Ferengi men forgo the headpiece, at least on occasion, for me to give it its own point. Quark knows he looks good, knows his lobes are big, knows he's a Ferengi without needing extra signifiers. Again, if you look at Quark As A Ferengi, and contrast him with the rest of his culture, he stands out as something special. Quark might not come across as pretty to other Ferengi, I don't know, but to me? To this biased human? Hot!

5. Wears makeup

From a human perspective, it looks like all Ferengi are wearing nail polish, and that does add to Quark's general sex appeal, but here I'm talking about something that sets him apart from other Ferengi, males and females - his red eyeshadow. I'd call it another GNC thing but he's never called out on it by other Ferengi men, so that's probably a human perspective, but it does show that Quark cares about his appearance and makes the effort to make himself look special. And it suits him! Man knows his colour palette.

6. Sharp dresser

Just look at the detail in his outfits! This goes for most Ferengi, they're a remarkably fashionable species, and it makes Quark look so put together! Look how cute he is in his little suits. I have nothing more to say on this, just look at him.

7. He's tall

Again, Ferengi standards, Quark has a few inches on other Ferengi. Part of that's his posture - most Ferengi tend to crouch while Quark stands tall and proud - but also he wouldn't seem hugely short by human standards if he wasn't in the show populated solely by giants. He'd be average on Voyager. I'm not saying that short kings aren't hot, but it makes him noticeable. It makes him special, compared to other Ferengi. It adds to his overall appeal.

8. We're told he's hot

Quark fucks. Canonically, Quark fucks. Quark fucks Cardassian fugitives, Klingon nobility, Ferengi businessmen (he also goes skinny dipping on Risa with Dr Bashir that one time, which frankly is its whole own post). Can you blame an audience for noticing, for wanting to get in on that? I am heavily biased, but I say we are not the freaks here. Quark's hot.

#I am so sorry about this #no I'm not actually #I had to write it #quark #ds9 #star trek #my posts

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glowingbadger · 3 years

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Hi it’s me, crawling through the window. Would it be possible to get a crumb of arranged marriage w/ Hubert? His line w/ Dorothea about being willing to get married for politics sake has fueled my brain rot for him.

Good God I need to secure my windows-

I mean HELLO FRIEND ANON YES IT WOULD BE MY PLEASURE

Lol actually though, I have been thinking about this for Hubie since we all started chatting about that arranged marriage stuff! I think it's a perfect concept for him~

This like... got weird while I was writing it though?? Idk man hahaha it ended up on the less-spicy side of what I usually write, and with some very weird dialogue in places... Idk, I hope y'all like it. Maybe if there's interest, I'll follow this up eventually with a more smut-focused piece?

I've been traveling and working so much lately that I just don't even know what writing is anymore or how it works hahaha

TW: A brief mention of non-con

Hubert (FE3H) x Reader ("wife," neutral pronouns)

Arranged Marriage - semi spicy i guess?

"Frankly, he's a pain," Linhardt must be able to see your surprise and confusion written across your face. He goes on, "He's reliable and capable, of course, but also the most persistent nag you'll ever meet. Actually, no-" he glances upward as though to cross reference his own thoughts, "No, her Majesty is worse. But Hubert is a close second to be sure. Always on and on about sleep schedules and proper nutrition and etiquette..." He sighs and closes the massive tome on his lap, as though to close the conversation with it, "frankly, he's an insufferable mother hen. Does that help?"

"Well, it's... Not what I expected," you admit with a shrug, "but thank you all the same."

It's been several weeks since the papers binding you in marriage to Hubert Von Vestra had been signed- and this alone had sufficed. No ceremony, no grand ball, just paperwork and a handshake with your father. A handshake that ensured that, even under the Empire's unification, he would maintain nominal control over his considerable portion of land, and in return, would swear absolute loyalty to her Majesty. It was a beneficial arrangement for all parties, and you were not ignorant to the part you played. You were hardly even a bargaining chip- moreso, a hostage.

Your new husband had made no secret of what manner of harm may befall you if your family were to renege on their deal. Fortunately, you know your father to be a reliable coward, so you have no reason to believe he would be bold enough to step out of line.

Hubert Von Vestra is a terrifying man. A zealously loyal man of storied cruelty and a frigid disposition. His frame looms over you whenever he's near, and though he's hardly placed a finger on you since you'd been given over to him, his mere presence is... arresting. There's a sort of charisma to him that's equal parts frightening and fascinating. Perhaps it's madness brought on by your circumstances, but you can't help wanting to glimpse just the slightest bit into that brilliant, ever churning mind.

Unsurprisingly, he has been resistant to your attempts to understand him. He hardly indulges you in small talk, and if you were the paranoid sort, you'd think he intentionally makes himself busy when you're around. Eventually, perhaps out of sheer stubbornness, you'd settled on a routine of bringing coffee to his study adjoined to your bedroom in the evenings. He'd been visibly surprised the first time. It wasn't until the fourth night that he'd given a curt "thank you." About two weeks in, he'd actually sat back in his chair and laid down his quill pen to receive the cup from your hands. After a month, he'd leveled his narrow gaze at you and said,

"I cannot begin to fathom what satisfaction you glean from playing 'maid' to me."

"Well, I, uhm," you hadn't expected him to address you so directly, but you managed to say, "You... work so hard, I wanted to do something for you, I suppose."

His expression is inscrutable as he replies,

"You are aware that my work was much the same before you arrived."

"I am," you say softly, "But- all the same..." you trail off, and Hubert seems content to let the matter rest. And so you leave him be amidst his reports and correspondence, coffee at his side on the desk. Yet for as unproductive as your exchange might have seemed, it does leave you with an idea. The thought to learn about the man from those who knew him long before your arrival at the capitol.

Your investigation into the true character of your husband does not stop with Linhardt. In fact, his testimony only leaves you with further questions. But perhaps the others would say otherwise; perhaps the United Empire's most up and coming crest scholar simply inspires maternal behavior. This has to be the case- you simply can't imagine that the notoriously ruthless heir of the even more notorious Vestra lineage would be so... Doting.

And yet the more you learn of him, the more contradictory he seems.

Caspar's take is much like Linhardt's- a picture of a man far closer to a school marm than any assassin or master of torture. Ferdinand seems both smitten and incensed by him, oscillating wildly between the two. Then eventually, to your shock, Bernadetta takes the initiative to speak to you about Hubert of her own accord.

"I'm, uh, really so-sorry to bother you!" she approaches with arms drawn close to her chest and eyes resolutely avoiding yours, "I- I just heard that you were... asking about Hubert, so, I, uh..."

It takes some time to prompt her further. You assure her again and again- no, this isn't intrusive at all- yes, you'd very much like to hear her perspective- no, you're not mad at her. In truth, you're endlessly intrigued about what a gentle soul like Bernadetta would have to say about a man feared across the continent. Finally, she manages,

"He's... actually really kind!" she blurts out, as though the words would abandon her if she gave them the window of opportunity. Your eyebrows raise slightly.

"You think so..?"

"Yes, completely-!" she stammers, "I know he's super, super scary, and powerful and spooky and cold and, uh, all of that. But still," her voice falters as she continues, "He only scolds people when they do something dangerous. And he only hurts people to protect others. I... I know he's done some te-terrible things. But... he's always been nice to Bernie," finally, she meets your eyes with an imploring look in hers, "So, uh, I'm really grateful to him. And I think it would be really nice for someone to reach out to him. If... if that's not too weird or anything. For you."

You smile warmly and nod,

"Thank you, Bernadetta. I know it can't be easy for you to come to me with all of this, but... I'd like to try, if I can."

The opportunity doesn't come in the way you expect.

At first, it seems the night will proceed like many others before. You bring a cup of coffee to your husband's desk, setting it down quietly so as to not disturb him. He's silent, but this is common enough, so you head back to the bedroom to undress for the evening. All nights prior, he would lay beside you long after you'd settled in, then rise to resume work in the morning before you woke up- all the while never allowing your bodies to interact in any way.

Tonight, just as you're about to close the door to Hubert's study behind you, long fingers catch around your wrist, visibly startling you.

It's the most physical contact you've had to-date, but he only says,

"One moment."

You whip around to face him, a touch of anxiety evident in your eyes. It's clear in his own that he notices, but if anything, he only seems amused. He steps forward, his taller frame menacing you as he speaks,

"I understand that you have been busying yourself with some manner of investigation as of late."

It takes a moment for his meaning to reach you. When it does, your face burns and you can't bring yourself to meet his scrutinizing gaze,

"Oh, uhm..."

"I assure you, my dearest wife," he says with barely concealed venom, "anything that I do not wish for you to know will be kept from you. Aside from which, your efforts thus far have proven amateurish at best."

Something seems off about his tone. You could understand if he felt uncomfortable or hesitant about your efforts to learn about him, but this seems far more grave, more... business-like. He steps towards you once more, and you step back in turn. Yet before long, you feel your legs bump the edge of the bed. A gloved hand trails a fingertip down your jawline to your chin, then urges you to look up at him.

"Whatever you are planning, my dear, I promise it will be fruitless. You had best rethink how you spend your days before your actions bring you to harm."

"No, I-" your brow creases deeply, your face burns, your body burns hotter and you don't want to consider why, "I've just been trying to learn about you as a person, nothing else. We're- we're married, after all, so..."

He gives an abrupt, dry laugh.

"Ah, so I am to believe that you've been interrogating my allies out of some misguided affection, is that it?"

"Hubert, just listen to me!" for a moment, you feel bolstered, defiant, and you straighten your posture, "You won't tell me the first thing about you- the only way to learn so much as your favorite color is to ask someone who's known you for a decade!"

Briefly, he does seem to consider your words. But his eventual reply is as aloof as any prior,

"If you're no spy or politician, then you're worse- a fool." he says, and before you can respond, he's seized both of your wrists and pushed you back onto the bed. For a moment, the room spins and your voice leaves you. A shrewd eye watches you with cruel condescension as he pins you against the sheets.

"I should think that you'd be well aware what I'm capable of," he nearly whispers, "I personally ensured that the rumors spread through your father's territory and further still. Do you think that anyone would even dare lift a finger to help you if I chose to seek retribution for this recent behavior?" He draws nearer, his grip tighter at your wrists, "Perhaps as punishment, I'll simply take my pleasure from you by force."

Your lips tighten, you take a breath. Then, meeting his gaze directly, you reply,

"You won't."

His visible eye narrows.

"And what evidence do you have to prompt such unfounded confidence? Perhaps you have crafted a flattering falsehood of me in your mind," a mocking smirk curls his lips, "Am I a misunderstood sentimental sort to you, then? A sad, lonely man for you to save?"

You scowl, though you suspect it looks more like a pout to him.

"I don't know what I think of you yet- not completely. But I don't pity you like that, and I don't think you're sad or lonely. I know you're not."

For the first time, it seems that you've caught him off guard. That frigid mask falters for just a moment, and you go on before he can replace it,

"You're surrounded by people who care about you. I've seen it for myself. Whatever you've had to do in the service of your ideals- it hasn't kept the people around you from wanting to know and understand you, even if it's despite you."

Hubert is silent for a moment. His gaze bores into you like he thinks he'll discover some hidden layer if he can just keep digging. Then, he sighs,

"How did I ever become bound to such a troublesome spouse..."

When you wrest your arms from his grasp, his hands fall away with little resistance, and you think that perhaps he had never truly intended to keep you in place by force to begin with. He moves to leave the bed, but your fists find the front of his clothing and tug him back down to you.

You press your lips to his without hesitation, and you can feel him inhale sharply, his entire body rigid above you. His lips are surprisingly soft, his scent like coffee and old parchment, and though your heart threatens to burst from your chest, you hold firmly to him by his clothes. Near imperceptibly, he leans down against you, and your fear, along with any remaining doubts, begin to dissolve. Knowing he won't pull away, you let your hands relax against him, running up his chest where you can feel his own pulse pounding. It's so human, so entirely reasonable and normal. Now, at last, Hubert Von Vestra is merely a man of flesh and bone.

Your tongue meets his naturally, your lips parting in time with his as your kiss deepens to a fevered pace. One hand reaches that sharp, handsome jawline, reveling in the erotic sensation of his mouth moving against yours. And yet, all the while, his hands remain staunchly on the bed beside you. He doesn't touch you- doesn't even let his body meet yours.

It's impossible to tell whether passion or madness drives you to bring your teeth to his lower lip, a single insistent bite communicating desire mounting faster than you can contain. And for a moment, you sense something new; a sound catches in Hubert's throat, a reaction he fights to stifle. Then, he pulls away. His pale skin is tinted a rare shade of pink, and his hair is ruffled out of place enough to reveal both narrowed eyes. His cloak has spilled around his frame to surround you both, and somewhere in your frazzled mind, you imagine that you're caught in some beautiful, velvet-lined trap.

"I- must... return to my work." Hubert says stiffly. He pushes up from you and turns away, leaving you still flustered on the bed behind him. You sit upright, holding your arms tight around your body as you watch him straighten his hair and clothes.

"You, uhm..." your face reddens still as you search for the right words, "you could... join me in bed, if you liked."

Hubert turns to the door of his study, speaking without daring to even glance your way,

"Anything that you offer to me now will be born from the impulse to survive. I have been bargained with before." His shoulders slack just slightly, his voice low and sober, "The proudest nobleman will even sell off his own child to a monster if he feels it will spare him its teeth."

You open your mouth to protest, then shut it without a word. You feel that you know your mind and heart, even in this moment, but you lack the words to convince a man like this. In a feeble attempt, you murmur,

"You don't frighten me, Hubert. Not anymore."

He half turns toward you, though his hand remains on the handle of his study door.

"You yourself said that you do not know what you think of me," he says, "As such, I will not lay a hand on you until the day that you do."

You stare down at your hands in your lap, barely registering the sound of the door clicking shut as he leaves you in the bedroom. No matter how you try to sort out your tangled thoughts, the memory of his lips on yours won't leave them. If anything, it eclipses any sense of reason, standing resolutely in the way of your path to clarity. Letting out a groaning sigh, you fall onto your back on the bed, staring blankly at the ceiling as if it could offer you any advice.

What do I think about my own husband? You wonder, the thought nearly enough to make you laugh. Well for one, he's a pain.

#hubert von vestra #hubert x reader #fire emblem #feh #fe3h #fire emblem three houses #fire emblem x reader #fire emblem imagines #fire emblem fic #x reader

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itsallyscorner · 3 years

Note

just like magic with marvel cast, the vibe is----- a perfect song for a lil b*tch with a good heart and a sarcastic mouth

just like magic is the song we ALL need for 2020😌 Start manifesting ya’ll🖤 Also thank you sm for the request I am so so sorry this took so freakin’ long😭 Love u, happy reading🖤🖤 Tried to add my own lil twist to your request:)

(A lil different from the request, but I tried to make the reader have a bit sas.)

💌.

just like magic

Growing up within the Marvel Cinematic Universe was probably one of things you were most grateful for. When you first started out you weren’t that social. You were new to the business, you didn’t know anybody and you were intimidated by every single actor you crossed paths with.

At first you didn’t feel like you fit in. You felt as if you were a burden to everyone else. You barely talked to anyone which made the others approach you out of force by the Russos. Everyone around you was talented while you were just some newcomer who had jack shit as experience. The first few years you were insecure of yourself mentally and physically. You weren’t as pretty or fit as the other women in the MCU nor did your skills live up to theirs. Which led to some unhealthy habits. Plus there were haters and movie critics who would say horrible things about you and your acting.

You had a rocky start unlike Tom Holland and even Lexi Rabe. Until one day when you realized that you had to change how you were thinking. It took you a while but all that negative thinking you were doing was only bringing you negative energy. So when you had a break from filming movies, your number one goal was to improve yourself.

Wake up in my bed, I just wanna have a good day (Mmm, ah)

Think it in my head, then it happens how it should, ayy

Twelve o'clock, I got a team meeting, then a meditation at like 1:30

Then I ride to the studio listening to some shit I wrote (Oh)

You woke up with smile on your face in a sense of calmness. The sun shined bright hues into your room as you got up from your bed. Today was the first day back on set. You guys were finally filming Civil War and you were honestly so excited. As you did your morning routine, you went over how the day would go in your head. You’re genuinely excited to see the entire cast. It has been almost half a year since you’ve seen everyone and you couldn’t wait to be back.

You took one last look at yourself in the mirror. Compared to the previous year, you looked and felt healthy. Your eyes shined and you looked well relaxed. You know like one of those face cleanser commercials? That’s how you felt. You felt like a breath of fresh air.

The ride to the studio took a good 30 minutes but it felt like seconds. You entered the set with a new sense of confidence and pride. The energy was practically radiating off you.

“(Y/n)?” You hear someone call from behind you. You turn around and see Scarlett looking at you.

“Hey!” You greet her as you approach her. You pulled her into a hug, startling her.

“Oh! Hello to you too, honey.” She laughed as she wrapped her arms around you. “How are you?”

“I’m doing great! Life’s been good.” You answer as a toothy grin graces itself on your face. Scarlett’s eyes are filled with shocked. From the previous times she’s talked to you she’s never seen you so loud or open. You were always shy and closed off from everyone on set.

Good karma, my aesthetic (Aesthetic)

Keep my conscience clear, that's why I'm so magnetic

Manifest it (Yeah), I finessed it (I finessed it)

Take my pen and write some love letters to Heaven

Eventually everyone on set caught on to your new attitude. Though they tried to be discreet about their reactions and shocked expressions, you could still see how they were caught off guard by your sudden change of nature.

Anthony watched as you conversed with Elizabeth and Scarlett on the couch in Robert’s “village” . You were probably the most smiliest person in the room beating Evans, who was eating his lunch.

“She’s like different. But in a good way. It’s like she’s bloomed.” Anthony thought out loud to the men beside him. Chris (E) and Sebastian look in your direction.

“Bloomed?” Chris snorted as he swallowed his food.

“Yeah, like she’s growing into a woman.” Anthony hummed proudly as he went back to his own lunch. Sebastian smiled at you, “I think she’s gained some confidence in herself and finally realized how good of a person she is.”

“If she’s finally realized that, I’m glad she did. She’s like a ball of sunshine, it’s adorable.” Chris smiled proudly at you as your hands move around animatedly while explaining some story to the two women in front of you.

“Y’all think it’s a boy?” Anthony wondered. Sebastian rolled his eyes at his friend. Before he can even respond Anthony is calling you over. You approach the men with a smile and take a seat beside Sebastian.

“What’s up?” You greet them. Chris nods at you as he chews on his sandwich. Sebastian greeting you with a quiet “hey”.

“So who’s the lucky man?” Anthony asks teasingly. Your brows knit together head tilting to the side.

“Man?”

“Yes man, or boy, whatever. Who’s got you feelin’ yourself, (y/n).” Anthony wiggles his brows as he shimmies closer to you. Sebastian, who’s in between you two, cringes at the man to his left.

You didn’t take any offense to the question, knowing that everyone was curious as to why you were so unlike yourself.

You chuckled before smirking at the older man, “Anthony, honey. I don’t need a man to be feelin’ myself. I did this on my own.”

Chris and Sebastian’s mouth drop at your answer. Chris laughed as he pointed out Anthony’s face. Sebastian slung an arm around your shoulder bringing you into a side hug as he laughed with Chris.

“To be fair” Chris began to say but started to laugh, “To be fair, you deserved that.” Anthony’s face went flushed as he nodded to himself. You suddenly felt bad that you put him on the spot.

“Alright, stop laughing at him.” You playfully glare at Chris and Seb. You poke Anthony’s arm, “To answer your question, I’ve just been working on myself. Thinking more positively, I even tried manifestation.”

“You know what, that’s good. You’re taking care of yourself mentally and physically. I’m proud of you for doing this for yourself, we all are.” Anthony tells you as he motions to the two other men.

You look at all three of them, all of them looking at you with pride, “Thanks guys.”

Just like magic (Baby), just like magic (Oh yeah)

Middle finger to my thumb and then I snap it

Just like magic (Yeah), I'm attractive (Oh yeah)

I get everything I want 'cause I attract it (Oh)

As the months passed, the more you evolved into another version of you. You walked with determination, carried yourself with such grace and you’ve gained confidence in your career. You didn’t let your insecurities get to you, instead you faced them and overcame them. You were tired of letting them control you.

Your change in attitude and perspective on life has definitely affected your life in many ways. Manifestation was one of the things that have helped you the most. Writing about your goals and putting that energy out to the world has helped you persevere in your job. You’ve only faced good karma; sending out positive energy and receiving it back from the universe.

So far you’ve been casted in two new projects and have a campaign lined up with Gucci. If you were told a year ago that you’d be working with big time directors and freakin’ Gucci, you wouldn’t have believe them. Life has been unreal ever since you decided to change your life around. But of course you had to thank your Marvel family, without them and their support you probably wouldn’t haven gotten to where you were today.

Looking at my phone, but I'm tryna disconnect it (Oh yeah)

Read a fuckin' book, I be tryna stay connected (Yeah)

Say it's tricky at the top, gotta keep a slim ego for a thick wallet

Losing friends left and right, but I just send 'em love and light (Oh)

As many people recognized your success many people still tried to pull you down. Some fans on social media have noticed your change in behavior and have even praised you for practicing self care. While others still tried to push you off the mountain of success you were currently on and drag you across the ground.

These were the reasons as to why you were barely on your phone anymore. You used to be invested in your phone but after realizing how much negativity it brought you, you’ve decided to slowly disconnect from it. Which led you to becoming more interested into books.

Chris (E) had even brought some of his favorite arts of literature for you to borrow. You were currently on your third book of his, Sapiens A Brief History of Humankind by Yuval Noah Harari. You were sitting outside your trailer in a fold up chair under the shade. Your peacefulness was interrupted by Tom (Holland) who had a worried expression on his face.

“Have you not seen it yet?” He asked you as soon as he was in front of you. Being the two most youngest actors on the current set, you guys were closer to each other than with the adults.

“Seen what, Tommy?” You put a finger in between the pages you were reading to save your spot. Tom pulls his phone out and began to type. He tapped on his screen and turned the screen to you.

“She’s been talking crap about you for days.” You read the article and saw that one of your “friends”, Sabrina has been speaking out about your success and how it’s changed you as a person.

“She’s going off about how the more money you get in your wallet, the more bratty and arrogant you become.” He grumbled as he turned his phone off.

“I could care less, honestly. I know I haven’t done anything to her and if I did I was unaware of it. Plus, she stopped talking to me after I said I couldn’t get her a part in a movie.” You shrugged as you placed a proper bookmark in the book.

“You’re not upset?”

“I mean it’s sad that she’s acting so two faced. But if that’s how she wants to roll, then be my guest. It’s her loss, not everyone has great taste.” You flicked a piece of hair away from your face with your hand.

“You’re not gonna release a statement against her?”

“No, probably just wish her well with her life and move on with my own.” You answered much to Tom’s dismay.

Redesign your brain, we gon' make some new habits

Just like magic (Just like magic), just like magic

Filming has officially ended a few months ago and now you guys were doing press tour for Civil War. Before you were the new and improved version of yourself, you dreaded press tours. Some interviewers were nice and respectful, but there were those who would ask inappropriate questions and were just rude in general. All you could remember during those past tours was wanting to leave those rooms as soon as possible.

The q&a panel at New York had a packed room. There were many journalist crowded in the room shoulder to shoulder. You were sat in between Elizabeth and Scarlett, two of the women who have been guiding you and teaching you about life as a woman in the business. They were also like your older sisters.

The panel had been going smoothly for the first half hour until a man with a snobby face and cocky demeanor approached the mic.

“Hello, I’m Keith and my question’s for (y/n).” He began. You nodded in his direction, motioning for him to continue.

“I think everyone’s noticed how you’ve changed and developed as a person. Obviously something’s changed in your life. So I want to know if you’ve had any intimate relationships with any of the men in the cast?” You were surprised at the man’s question. First it was bold of him to ask such a question and second it was just disrespectful to you and the others on the cast.

“I mean someone’s gotta be fucking you good to make you crawl out your shell.” The man finished shrugging nonchalantly. Robert was about to interject but your mouth was quicker than his. The men of the cast were disgusted at the man while they sat at the edge of their seats.

“Well last time I checked my contract, my job was to act, not sleep around with the men who are part of these movies.” You spoke into the mic. All the attention was on you while the room was at a standstill.

“It’s also very upsetting that you think a girl needs to be fucked in order to be confident in herself. I hate to break it to you but women are completely capable of turning their lives around without the help of men and that says a lot about you, sir. So if I were you, I’d take myself back to my seat and rethink my life because if one of us has to redesign our brains it’s you.” You finished as you placed your mic on your lap. The room was silent until the cast began to clap. This was your first time standing up for yourself, usually Robert or Scarlett would swoop in and save you but this time, you were saving yourself.

You shook your head as you blushed, shoving your head in your hands. You felt some pats on the backs and cheers from your dysfunctional family. You look up and see Scarlett and Elizabeth smiling at you proudly.

“Isn’t she amazing?” Robert asked the crowd as he hugged you. The crowd cheering you on.

Just like magic, your life felt like a dream come true, knowing that you were worth it and enough for the people around you and for yourself.

#marvel #mcu #avengers #chris evans #chris evans x reader #Sebastian Stan #sebastian stan x reader #anthony mackie x reader #Anthony Mackie #Scarlett Johansson #Scarlett Johansson x reader #marvel cast x teen!reader #marvel cast x reader #ally’s 700 celebration #ally’s requests

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auroracalisto · 3 years

Text

for the first time

summary: the reader finally sees her life in a new point of view, thanks to carlisle, who has helped her with her abusive husband, her baby girl luna, and her life in general.

pairing: carlisle x female! married/widowed! abused! reader

word count: 1.6k words

warnings: female reader, married and eventually widowed reader, reader is abused by her husband, reader has the surname Wolf in this bc comedic reasons, reader has a child named Luna by said husband, mentions of murder, no depictions but carlisle definitely did the stabby stab (at least if that’s what you wanna assume he did), uhhh reader got them widow benefits by the end but that’s a story for another time, ALSO for some reason i put this in the year 2005 and it goes on to 2006/2007? so this would technically be the same timeline as bella and edward meeting. so first movie. yes. i love the technicalities of everything. honestly didn’t mean for it to happen but it did so

a/n: i have no words

Carlisle first had the honor of meeting you at your then-husband’s Christmas party. It was December 20th, 2005. Your child was most definitely due by the end of January. You were quite literally glowing, and Carlisle believed you were the most beautiful thing he had seen in some time. However, most of the beauty was because of your skill with makeup. Without it, bruises galore would be revealed to the outside world, and your husband would not be too happy to find out that you showed off the newest shiner he gave to you.

Even while pregnant, he did not care for your wellbeing. Hell, he made it quite obvious that he would never care for the little girl growing in your midsection. But even if he was a terrible prick, you decided to have this child. Of course, maybe it would have been better for you to end the pregnancy early on. However, a part of you didn’t want that. A part of you wanted to have the baby and leave your husband. Whichever order it came in would be fine. But knowing now that it would be the latter made you nervous.

The second time Carlisle saw you was in the middle of a grocery store, calming down your newborn baby. Your husband had sent you out in the middle of February, just a month after giving birth. You were alone, and everything was upsetting. Your baby’s little cries caused your own tears to well up in your eyes.

When the two of you made eye contact, you finally broke. You didn’t want anyone to see you like that, and yet, here you were with your husband’s co-worker, crying in the middle of the bread aisle.

“Mrs. Wolf, please. Let me help you,” Carlisle softly said, leaving his buggy on the other side of you. He came over, looking at your baby. “I’ll get her to calm down.”

You took his word for it, allowing Carlisle to comfort your crying child. “Please. Don’t call me that. [Your name] is fine.”

He watched you with soft eyes and nodded. “And who is this?” he softly asked, looking down at the fussing infant. Her eyes were shut and she never once had actual tears—one thing that never sat right with him was how babies couldn’t form tears until they were about two months old (sometimes even longer).

“Luna,” you softly spoke, watching as your little girl started to calm down in his arms. You sniffled softly, wiping your eyes with the back of your sleeve. You should have been more careful, but you didn’t care at this point. It was getting harder and harder to do this; if someone saw a bruise, someone saw a bruise.

“That’s a beautiful name,” Carlisle spoke, looking back at you. “She is very lucky to have you as a mother.”

By the third time Carlisle had properly talked to you, your husband had died. Under mysterious circumstances, but he was gone. And you couldn’t have been happier. You had an idea of what had happened. Especially when you once opened your eyes in the middle of the night to see a flash of blond hair. But you drifted off back to sleep, not thinking anymore of it until the morning after when your husband was missing. However, you never once said anything.

Weeks after he had passed, you had hired a babysitter for the evening. Carlisle’s two girls.

And for once, you did not have to worry about the makeup covering your bruises. In fact, you wore your makeup how you liked it instead of having to wear it to protect your dead husband. You found yourself sitting in your car, in front of the hospital. Alice had informed you that her adoptive father was currently at work—that he was constantly working, and he never once took a break.

Maybe you should have just turned around. Maybe you should have just left Washington, altogether. But your legs started moving before you could stop them. And once you saw Carlisle, you knew that you had to speak with him.

You didn’t even have to say hello to him for the man to walk in your direction. He smiled kindly at you, and you wanted to say something. You desperately wanted to thank him for saving you, even if he never admitted it.

But the words never found your tongue. Your arms wrapped around the doctor, your face buried deep in his blue dress shirt and his white lab coat. Carlisle had never been more grateful for not carrying his clipboard around. He wrapped his arms around your body, holding you close.

Although the two of you never said anything, one thing was clear; you were both grateful for each other’s existence. Even if you lived vicariously through passing glances and thoughtful actions.

Luna was nearly one by the time you decided enough was enough. You were a widow, now. You did not have to worry about what your husband would say. And one thing was certain; the blond-haired doctor had your heart in more ways than one.

He was so kind to you, always offering help and joyful smiles. His conversations carried you through your long days and kept you awake at night as you thought of how you could tell him how you truly felt.

But now, you knew enough was enough—you knew that you were not getting any younger, and neither was Carlisle (of course, because he was human—of course, you wouldn’t learn that until later). You needed to talk to him. You needed to take a course of action.

You grabbed your keys, walking to your door. Luna was babbling in her car seat. You sat it down to get the door open, nearly jumping out of your skin when you saw Carlisle standing there, prepared to knock.

He had a bouquet of your favorite flowers in hand and a rather awkward smile.

“My apologies... are you going somewhere?”

Your cheeks began to burn. You sat your keys on the table beside your door, shaking your head. “I was going to see you, actually.”

Luna giggled up at the man when he came into her line of vision. She adored Carlisle.

“Oh, that makes this easier then,” he let out a soft laugh, hesitantly holding out the flowers to you. “These are for you. I... I had asked Alice what your favorites were. I hope you don’t mind.”

You smiled. “No... No, I don’t,” you said, clearing your throat. You moved out of the doorway so that he could come into your house. “I was hoping that.. well, I am hoping this now. I’ve needed to talk to you. For a while now. I really, really need to just get this off my chest, you know? I just—”

“—could I be of any assistance?” he chuckled softly. “Perhaps I can find the words that you are searching for.”

You rolled your eyes, unable to keep your smile from forming. “Carlisle, I’ve... loved you since before my husband died. I know that for a fact, now. And I... hope that you feel the same way. About myself. And Luna. We’re a package deal, you know.”

He chuckled softly and nodded. “I know that you are a package deal. I... am very glad you feel that way, too.”

“Too?”

“Yes,” Carlisle smiled at you. “I have loved you since the first time I have set eyes on you.”

You snorted out a laugh, crossing your arms over your chest. “That long, huh?”

He just smiled, watching you with kind, golden eyes. “There are many things I need to tell you, [Your name],” he said, finally shutting the front door behind of him. He looked down at Luna and got her out of the carrier, especially when she happily reached for the man. “Perhaps we can take this evening to talk?”

You smiled, nodding. “I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, but yeah. I’d like that.”

All of you made Carlisle’s beatless heart skip. He could only hope that it was the opposite for you (he could definitely hear how fast your heart began to beat the closer he got to you). Luna entertained herself with the buttons on Carlisle’s shirt while the two of you talked until she fell asleep against him.

Perhaps it was that moment that you truly knew that you were in love with Carlisle. No—that action only fortified your love for the man. You knew you had loved him just as long as he had claimed to love you. And for once, you were not afraid of what love could do.

Because you believed you loved your deceased husband, you married him. You slowly watched him become a horrible person. And then you had Luna with him. Of course, that was the one good thing that came out of him. Perhaps the chance of meeting Carlisle as well.

But you knew that now, the love you felt for Carlisle was as real as the infant in Carlisle’s arms. And it would never burn like your last loveless love.

For the first time, it felt like you were seeing yourself in a new light. You were seeing everything from a different perspective. And Carlisle allowed that. Carlisle helped you find that.

Even if he hadn’t have been there, you would have still found it. However, you knew that he made it so much easier than it would have been.

For the first time, you knew real love. With Luna, and now with Carlisle.

Despite everything that had happened to you, it seemed as though the universe was finally connecting the dots. And you couldn’t wait to see what she was going to give you, next.

#carlisle cullen #carlisle x reader #carlisle cullen x reader #twilight #twilight x reader #twilight renaissance #twilight reader insert #female reader #pregnant reader #reader has a child #reader insert #x reader #twilight one shot #one shot #carlisle cullen twilight #carlisle cullen one shot #carlisle one shot

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