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pochiperpe90 · 3 years

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[L’Officiel Hommes] Luca Marinelli, rising star of Italian cinema

To win his first film role, Luca Marinelli agreed to put on sixteen kilos. For the second, he had to shave his whole body and learn to walk in heels more than eight inches high.

"If I believe in the part, there is nothing I'm not willing to do," says the twenty-six-year-old protagonist of ‘The Solitude of Prime Numbers’, the film by Saverio Costanzo presented at last year's edition of the Venice Film Festival.

To play the role of a boy devoured by guilt due to an accident that happened to his sister, Marinelli did not hesitate to ruin his athletic physique by gorging himself on fats and carbohydrates, and giving up any activity for three months. As soon as he could, he started running again to lose the extra pounds. Between football and swimming he has always been used to playing sports. But the forced immobility had atrophied his muscles, and at the end of the first runs he ended up vomiting his soul from the effort. After a month of intense exercise, however, he had already lost the extra pounds.

"Changing your body makes you feel more vulnerable and you become prey to irrational fears: when I was fat I was afraid of dying every time I took the stairs, when I was hairless I was afraid that my eyebrows would never grow back," says the actor while he eats a salad sitting at the bar of the Palazzo della Triennale in Milan. "But it's always a very interesting experience", he continues, absently stroking the hairs on his forearm, still growing since the end of the shooting of “L’ultimo terrestre”, a film that will be released next year by Gipi, an Italian illustrator making his debut behind the movie camera. It’s a love story set against the backdrop of an invasion of extraterrestrials, in which Marinelli plays the role of a transvestite friend of the protagonist. To prepare for the part, the actor watched dozens of crossdresser and transgender footage and had to practice for hours walking with extravagant stilts instead of shoes.

“I was told that, as a woman, I move well and I'm quite beautiful. In short, the experience gave me a certain satisfaction”, he jokes, winking with gray-blue eyes.

Compared to the film debut of ‘Solitude of Prime Numbers’, this new film offers him a smaller role and visibility. But Marinelli is not concerned about this. He knows he was very lucky to end on the red carpet of one of the most important festivals in the world with the first film. And he would almost feel calmer if his career were to continue more gradually.

"It was so lightning fast that I was not prepared. Venice was a wonderful experience but I was in panic. In the evening I came home with a terrible headache, I felt like I had two tight screws in my skull. I almost felt at fault to start out so great. And now I'm happy to start again slowly”.

Marinelli finished high school in 2006 and three years later graduated from the Silvio D'Amico Academy of Dramatic Art in Rome. Before being chosen by Costanzo for the feature film that gave him notoriety with the public, he had already played several roles in the theater with directors such as Carlo Cecchi and Michele Monetta. His father, actor and film voice actor, tried to introduce him to the world of entertainment as a child, without achieving great results. He had made him voice the voices of Tip and Tap, the grandchildren of Mickey Mouse from the cartoons, and had offered him some amateur roles. Despite being fascinated by the profession, however, the son didn’t feel cut out to be an actor.

“As a child I was shy. I liked being the center of attention, but only with people I had a lot of confidence with. More than being observed, I was interested in observing the lives of others. Not the present ones, but the past ones”.

After high school, Marinelli enrolled in the faculty of archeology in Rome. But after two months in which he attended only lessons that had nothing to do with his course, he realized that the university wasn’t for him and threw himself into acting, overcoming the fears he carried within him since he was a child. Even today, however, it retains some of that shyness. To the point that, whenever he is about to go on stage, he has to resort to small exorcising rites to reduce tension and cancel thoughts. And when we ask him how it feels to tell a complete stranger about himself, he confesses to being a little nervous.

"This is my second interview. From the first, I came out as some kind of psycho. I hope this time it goes better”, he jokes.

He has pain in his neck from a fall that occurred a few days earlier and moves his torso in a slightly stiffly way. He jumped on the ball and crashed to the ground during a game of "calciotto", the eight-a-side football that is popular in Rome, the city where he was born and raised. Every time he turns his head he makes a grimace of pain. Apart from that, Marinelli seems to be quite at ease, and does not resort to clichés. Nor does he try to hide behind sophisticated characters: he wears a blue shirt, military green trousers and brown jacket, in a style that he simply defines "for men", made up of garments unearthed among vintage shops and thrift stalls rather than in the boutiques of the big names. He loves to run around with his bike, although he admits that the longest trip he has done was from Rome to Fregene with a friend. And as soon as he has a free moment he takes his dog Nonò, a foundling dachshund who also follows him on tour, and takes him around the capital for long walks in the company of Sandy, the dog who lives in his parents' house.

Even though he’s aware of the difficulties and uncertainties he risks facing in his profession, he speaks of his dreams with passion and without anguish. He would like to pursue a project as a director and is enthusiastic about the collaboration with Cecchi in “Sogno di una notte di mezza estate”, a piece with which he will tour Italy between November and February.

"I know that being an actor is a job with a very high risk of failure and depression, but for the moment I try to live this lucky moment to the fullest."

Marinelli is not religious, but he’s particularly fascinated by the figure of Christ. He loves reading books and watching films that tell the Nazarene in his human dimension (from the Gospel according to Matthew by Pasolini to Scorsese's Last Temptation of Christ), because when he sees a miracle he feels the "smell of burning" and is immediately distracted.

"The story of Jesus, understood as a simple person, is a proof of the wonderful things that man is capable of. And studying it helps to understand how far we live from the example that has been given to us".

Among the dreams in the drawer, remains to work with Eimuntas Nekrošius, the Lithuanian theater director who recently staged Albert Camus' Caligula in Rome. And with Pedro Almodovar, the master of Spanish cinema whose language he knows well. In fact, Marinelli's father spent his childhood in Argentina and passed on to his son his love for Spanish, which Luca speaks with a slight South American inflection.

Of course, the situation in Italy for novice actors is not reassuring. Most of his fellow academics are still looking for work. The lucky ones earn a few euros by acting in the theater or making fiction which is exhausting for the body and demoralizing for the spirit. The others are making a living with alternative uses waiting to be discovered.

“I'm working, but not because I'm the best of those who came out of my class. Luck matters a lot. In Italy the environment is closed and there is little money. Abroad, however, it seems that this art is much more accessible".

His response is interrupted by a strange sigh that sounds like a whale song. It’s the ringtone of his cell phone, a reconstruction of the original music used in the Greek tragedy. Marinelli doesn’t respond, but begins to show signs of unease. He noted that the Palazzo della Triennale hosts an exhibition of Pasolini's portraits that he would like to see. He has little time left, but he adores the poet and insists on entering.

Inside the exhibition, observe the black and white photos taken by Dino Pedriali in 1975 which show the artist reading in his villa in Chia, writing on an Olivetti 22 and walking on a bridge in Sabaudia with his hair down from the wind. Then he stops in front of a photo of Pasolini naked, portrayed in his bedroom.

"What a fascinating man, in this image he reminds me of the bad lieutenant in Abel Ferrara's film," he says as he heads towards the exit. Then, unexpectedly, he turns to his interviewer and asks him with the relieved tone of someone who knows he has completed a business: "Prof, how did the exam go?".

“I'd give you a nice twenty-eight”, we reply according to the game.

"Okay, I accept it".

L’Officiel Hommes

Just wanted to translate this old interview for the non-italian’s fans ^^ (sorry for my English)

#Luca Marinelli #interview #english translation #english #mine #l'ultimo terrestre #la solitudine dei numeri primi #2011 #magazine #L’Officiel Hommes #Roberta

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maxdark158 · 5 years

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This is chapter two of my fic based on @ozmav ‘s Damian Wayne x Marinette Dupain-Cheng au that I LOVE, please check them out.

Angel in Gotham: Part 1 ~ Part 2 ~ Part 3 ~ Part 4 ~ Part 5 ~ Part 6 ~ Ao3

Demon in Gotham: Part 1 ~ Part 2 ~ Part 3 ~ Part 4 ~ Ao3

Fanart for AiG: Riddler ~ Joker thank you @thegreysman

Please tag me in any fanart you draw for this guys ^^

oooOOOooo

“Marinette, seriously?” The annoyed voice of Marinette’s once-best-friend Alya Cesaire was grating to her now. “You need to stop running away just for attention, it won’t work.”

It had been a long day for Marinette. It started off well, even after being forgotten by her class, because she got to hang out with Damian. But The Riddler kind of spoiled that. After her talk with the police, Damien waited with her for a teacher to pick her up from the station. They parted when her teacher arrived, Marinette promising to text him when she got to her hotel room.

The teacher that picked her up was Professor Mendeleiev. While the science teacher’s strictness had unnerved Marinette for years, lately she had begun wishing she was in her class instead of Ms. Bustier’s. Ms. Bustier’s tactics of being a better example for a bully were starting to wear on her. Professor Mendeleiev wasn’t perfect, but Marinette would have taken being in her class over being in Ms. Bustier’s now.

When the teacher asked why Marinette had been away from the group in the first place, Marinette told her that she had been forgotten by Ms. Bustier and her class. Professor Mendeleiev went silent after that.

The rest of the ride was silent too.

It was silent until Professor Mendeleiev dropped her off at her room where Alya was waiting to rip into her about being attention-seeking and rude.

“Hello?” she sounded angry now. “Are you even listening to me? Do you think if you ignore us we’ll believe you were ever nice again? Lila told us the truth about who you are, you-”

“Alya!” her teacher snapped. “Your classmate was caught in a villain attack today. Leave her alone.”

Alya gaped. “But”

“That was not a request,” Professor Mendeleiev growled. “Do you think you can escape my detentions because we are on vacation?”

Alya squeaked and ran off to her room.

Marinette blinked, not quite sure what just happened. Relief was the cool feeling applied to a headache, stopping the pain.

“Thank you,” she mumbled. Professor Mendeleiev nodded and stalked off, mumbling something about having a long overdue talk with ‘Caline’.

Alya must have gone back to her hotel room, as Marinette didn’t encounter her or anyone else on her way back to her room.

The relief hit again, but the hint of sadness was like mint in her mouth and wetness on her cheek, despite her not actually crying.

It was hard to remember that Alya used to be her best friend. It got harder every time Alya got after her for bullying or lying or anything else that she didn’t actually do. Marinette almost wishes they hadn’t ever become friends, the betrayal would have hurt less.

It seems some wounds take years to heal.

Marinette arrived at her room and unlocked the door with her room key. She entered and immediately flopped on her bed.

“Marinette, are you alright?” she heard Tikki ask.

“I’m just tired,” she mumbled. “I’m more used to akumatized villains, not insane people with riddle obsessions.”

She felt Tikki brush aside some of her hair. “I’m just glad you’re alright. You scared me for a moment, Marinette. I don’t know what I would have done if I lost you.”

Marinette smiled. “Thanks, Tikki.”

“It’s simply the truth! Also, didn’t you tell that boy you would text him?”

Her eyes widened. Marinette rolled over and got her phone out of her purse. “Thanks for reminding me!”

Tikki giggled out a, “no problem,” and rested on Marinette’s stomach.

Angel: I’m at the hotel now.

Damian: That’s good Damian: Did you get in trouble?

Marinette smiled to herself. It felt nice, being worried about… Even if she didn’t want him to worry. But the fact that he cared felt like a warm hug.

Angel: Professor Mendeleiev must’ve been tired or something. Angel: She didn’t leacture

She frowned. That had to be wrong.

Angel: Lecture?

Damian: *lecture

Marinette rolled her eyes. In the two days she had known Damian, she knew he was a stickler for grammar. Though he wasn’t harsh about his corrections, as he knew English wasn’t her first language, it was a tad annoying. Marinette was much better at speaking and reading in English than she was at spelling.

Angel: Quiet, English is hard

Damian: Understandable. Damian: In my original question I meant any of your classmates btw

Angel: btw? Angel: Oh by the way

Damian: yeah

Angel: I’m good at text slang in French, okay

Damian: I don’t doubt you

She rolled her eyes and smiled. Annoying, but the banter was nice. It wasn’t like with Chat Noir when he was trying to flirt with her.

Angel: Anyway Alya tried to bother me but I’m good now Angel: Professor Mendeleiev told her off for bothering me after my ‘traumatic’ encounter with a Gotham villain

Damian: Speaking of, are you SURE you’re alright Angel

Ooh, capital letters. He must be really worried. Guilt rested on her shoulders again on that day.

Angel: I’m fine Angel: I’ve survived akuma for three years, I’m not about to let some riddle fanatic with terrible clothing choices ruin my day

Damian: His clothes are that bad?

Good, subject change. Maybe she can get him to stop worrying.

Angel: Too much green, for one Angel: Green shouldn’t be used in large portions when it’s that bright of a shade Angel: Also the cloth itself was cheap, but the kind of cheap meant to look expensive if you don’t know cloth good

Damian: *well

Marinette smiled. She hoped her little intentional mistake would make him stop worrying.

Angel: Whatever Angel: Also his hat didn’t match the type of suit he was wearing Angel: If he wants to go old fashioned he should at least match the time period Angel: Longer coat, more layers Angel: He is an atrocity

Damian: he is

Angel: If I had time to cry then my tears would had been blood

Damian: *have

“Seriously,” she grumbled to herself. The guilt had long since lifted but Damian’s need for correct grammar was going to drive her mad.

Angel: istg

Damian: It appears you’re learning

Angel: Yepp

Damian: Also the Gotham news posted an article online about you Damian: “Unnamed Teenager From France Holds off The Riddler Until Batman Arrives!”

Angel: Wait what? Angel: But we both held him off?

Damian: I was kind of useless, you did most of the work Damian: I left shortly after you solved his riddle because the Robins had arrived

Marinette breathed a sigh of relief. She had been scrolling through the article Damian had mentioned, realizing that it did not have any mention of her throat punching The Riddler. It did say she took him down with physical force, but it was in self-defense and she was okay.

She just didn’t want Damian to find out she punched someone in the throat. It would make him think she was violent and he’d hate her forever and never talk to her again and she’d loose the only friend she’s made in the last three years and-

Her phone, which had fallen asleep, buzzed again.

Damian: You there?

Marinette sighed, mentally reining her anxieties in.

Angel: Yeah. I was just reading the article Angel: The Riddler was bad at hand to hand combat. It was easy to take him down with the practice I have from Paris

Damian: I bet. Damian: It’s getting late, Angel. We should go to bed. Damian: Goodnight

Angel: Goodnight Angel: Also I’ll find a chat name for you soon, promise

Damian: lol okay

Marinette smiled and put her phone away. Hopefully, she would get to spend more time with him tomorrow.

This was day three of their trip to Gotham. The entire trip lasted nine days. She wanted to make the most of her trip by spending time with her friend until she had to leave.

While the thought brought a brief sadness, she put it out of her mind and continued to get ready for bed.

oooOOOooo

Marinette managed to get up on time this morning.

Meaning, she woke up from a nightmare at around four am and couldn’t go back to sleep after that because she started fully sketching out some of her outfit ideas she had yesterday. She even made a few based off the Gotham heroes, coloring those ones in.

Despite all the designing she finished, Marinette was still the first one ready and in the lobby where the class is supposed to meet every morning.

Marinette was wearing her messier clothes today. After yesterday where she confronted The Riddler in leggings, she decided to stick to pants today too. She loved the dress she brought but it would not work if she managed to confront another villain.

Besides, the dress code was more lenient today. Marinette had on a white crop top with her signature flower pattern and dark gray overalls on. She had her hair in a French braid so it was out of her face. Her tennis shoes were the same pink as the flowers and as always, she had her purse for Tikki.

When the teachers came down to wait for the class, they saw Marinette there. Professor Mendeleiev gave her a nod, to which Marinette smiled. Ms. Bustier looked conflicted for a moment before ultimately deciding to sit down away from both her and Professor Mendeleiev.

The class began to filter in. Marinette made sure to stay out of sight from everyone but the teachers. They grouped together, talking about mindless things. Mostly about what they’d do with their afternoon. Today they were going to the Gotham City Heroes and Villains Museum in the morning, then after lunch the rest of the day was free until 5:30 pm.

Lila arrived last. Marinette knew that she likely did it so everyone noticed her entrance. She also realized that Lila arrived a few minutes before everyone had to get on the busses, so people had time to talk to and about her.

The designer simply tuned the liar out. She didn’t care anymore.

Well, she didn’t until she heard a certain name.

“Damian is such a sweetheart,” Marinette glanced up from her phone. “We might get back together again soon, I’m not sure though. I hope so.”

“I forgot that you’re on and off,” she heard someone else say, though who didn’t matter.

“Did you say Damian?” Marinette asked before she thought out the action. Her voice was loud enough that suddenly everyone was staring at her as if they forgot she was there in the first place.

They likely had.

“Uh, yeah,” Alya scoffed. “Lila and Damian Wayne are an on and off thing. You’d know that if you weren’t skipping the field trip for attention.”

“Alya, it’s alright,” Lila sighed. “We keep it out of the tabloids and Marinette doesn’t like me, it’s not her fault she didn’t know.”

“That sounds like it’s her fault! Marinette just needs to get over herself!”

Marinette was tuning her classmates out. She felt like an idiot. But at the same time, he never told her. He must have had a reason for telling her.

But there was no mistaking it. The Riddler called him, “Wayne.” They met when she was trying to get into Wayne Enterprises. His first name was Damian and he knew the tour guide…

She tuned back into her classmates’ conversation.

“Anyway, Damian and I went and got ice cream last afternoon. That’s why I was gone, you see. He would have walked me back, but we would have attracted a crowd. Plus he got a little chocolate ice cream on his shirt, he’s so messy.”

Marinette closed her eyes. Rage is hot and fiery, her nails dug into her palms.

Calling Lila out does nothing.

But she couldn’t help but remember Damian telling her that chocolate ice cream was among his least favorites when they went to get ice cream yesterday.

And he isn’t messy.

oooOOOooo

Marinette found the museum interesting. It gave her some anxiety, learning about everything villains did to the city was nerve-wracking.

She wondered if there would ever be a Paris Museum for Akuma.

It also gave her some ideas. Learning about the Gotham Hero’s greatest feats and how they accomplished them was eye-opening.

She was doing this whole battling-Hawkmoth-thing wrong! Instead of a case by case akuma battle, which are much less frequent nowadays, she should partner with the police! There were cameras all over Paris and, unlike Kwami, corrupted butterflies appeared on them. Hawkmoth may only be attacking around once a month now, but he still needed to own up to the terror he reigned on Paris and the world.

Marinette felt a little stupid for not realizing all of this before, she realized as she whispered her ideas to Tikki in the bathroom. She could have ended it sooner if she thought to get investigative about her enemy.

But as interesting and terrifying as the museum was, the trip only took the morning. By lunch, her classmates were waiting for the teachers to decide who to take where, as no restaurant had enough room for all of them.

She pulled out her phone and opened her text chat with Damian.

Angel: Kill me now

Damian: What’s wrong?

Angel: We have to all get lunch as a class before I’m free Angel: I’m in the group with Liar Rossi Angel: Death would be sweatier

Marinette mumbled a curse under her breath. She meant sweeter! Stupid autocorrect.

Damian: *sweeter

Angel: Rude

Damian: Anyway Damian: You can’t die yet Damian: We still technically didn’t get ice cream

She managed to smile. Damian made her do that a lot now that she thought about…

Her phone pinged again.

Damian: Also you’re at the Gotham City Heroes and Villains Museum right?

Angel: Yes I am

Damian: I’m nearby

Marinette’s eyes widened. What?

Damian: I can pick you up for lunch

Angel: OMG really? Please do I’d really really like that

Damian: omw

She looked up, seeing that her teachers were still discussing. She walked up to them, waiting until they saw her.

Ms. Bustier did first. “Marinette! What did you need?”

“My friend invited me to eat lunch with him,” she looked at Professor Mendeleiev as she spoke, not Ms. Bustier. “May I go?”

“After what happened yesterday? I don’t thi-” Ms. Bustier was cut off by Professor Mendeleiev.

“Is this the friend you were at the station with?” she asked, voice sharp. Marinette nodded.

Professor Mendeleiev hummed, contemplating. Ms. Bustier gaped at her. “You can’t be considering allowing her to go!” she said, “Not after how mad you got at me-”

“Caline, I got mad at you for forgetting her. Allowing her to go is not the same thing,” Professor Mendeleiev glared at her, “We’re allowing you to go on your own after lunch anyway, as long as everyone has a buddy. Finding you a buddy in this class, however, is likely going to be difficult…”

She trailed off before digging into her bag. “We got trackers for this free afternoon, though we couldn’t afford them for everyone,” she brought out a black bracelet that looked plastic. “This will only give me your general location. We will still have enough for everyone else as long as they’re in pairs. If you take one, I will allow you to go to lunch and such with your friend.”

Ms. Bustier’s brows furrowed. “You’re giving her special treatment? But-”

“Caline, you forgot her twice,” Professor Mendeleiev sounded patient, as if she were an adult talking to a toddler. “Marinette earned this and she will be with a friend from Gotham, something nobody else in this class truly has besides her.”

“This is my class,” Ms. Bustier was beginning to fume. “You accompanied because two teachers were needed, but these are my students-”

“Caline,” Professor Mendeleiev sounded more annoyed. “I am allowing her to go. Since I’ve been teaching for longer and because you told me to hand out the tracking bracelets, my decision overrules yours. Your argument is pointless.”

Marinette stared as Ms. Bustier tried to find words to retaliate with and failed. She took the bracelet from Professor Mendeleiev and thanked her.

It felt nice to have someone stand up for her again.

In the corner of her eye, Marinette noticed Alya walk toward the teachers and her. She looked angry and upset, a face she nowadays wore often around Marinette.

She remembered what she thought last night, about Alya’s betrayal. How it hurt remembering the good times they shared. Marinette took a deep breath.

It still hurt. It still hurt remembering the good times they had as friends, but she had to be fair to herself. She had to remember the bad times too.

She had to remember the times Alya demanded every detail, said friends tell each other everything. She had to remember the times Alya pressured her into things she wasn’t comfortable doing. She had to remember the times Alya took her for granted, the time Alya decided she wasn’t worth as much as a liar.

She has to remember what Alya is doing to her now.

“Where is the liar going now?” Alya scoffed. “Getting permission to run away this time?”

Marinette rolled her eyes and slipped the bracelet on. She would be okay. Alya wasn’t her friend anymore, she had better ones to look out for her.

“I don’t owe you anything.”

Alya gaped.

Luckily for Marinette, Alya didn’t have time to think of a response. A car drove up, and Marinette saw Damian wave to her from the backseat. She smiled.

The door was unlocked, so she opened it and got in. She didn’t look back at her classmates faces as the driver, an aged man in a suit, drove away.

“Where would you like to eat, Angel?” Damian asked.

Marinette shrugged. “I’m not sure, I don’t know what’s here.”

Damian frowned. “Angel, you okay?”

That’s when her previous realization hit. He was Damian Wayne, son of Bruce Wayne. He was one of the celebrities Lila liked lying about the most. And he was her friend, currently best friend.

“I’m okay,” she mumbled. “I’ve got a lot on my mind right now.”

Damian looked like he wanted to press the issue, but decided against it. He told his butler to take them to a restaurant she didn’t recognize the name of while she took deep breaths. She felt Tikki press gently against her hip, trying to reassure her.

Alya was a bad friend. Marinette wanted to be a better friend to Damian. He already made her so happy! Warm fuzzies and smiled and giggles were rare in the last few years, but she experienced them all with Damian. He kept a secret from her, likely for his own reasons, and she found out what it was behind his back.

Damian deserved better than that.

“I know,” she blurted out. “I know you’re Damian Wayne. I just want you to know that doesn’t change anything. You’re still my friend, and I don’t care who your dad is and who you are.”

Damian gaped at her for a moment before shaking his head. “I’m sorry you had to find out on your own. I should have told you-”

Marinette interrupted, “you didn’t have to. You don’t owe me that.”

He looked confused. She chose to elaborate.

“As a stranger or even a friend, you don’t owe me any details about who you are. Ever,” Marinette told him. “You’re allowed to keep secrets and not tell me things you aren’t comfortable sharing. It isn’t fair of me to demand you tell me everything.”

She was going to be the friend she needed to Damian. It was the least he deserved.

Marinette pushed down any disappointment that came with the word friend, not knowing why it was there. Maybe it was left over from her classmates’ treatment of her.

Damian was staring at her. She wasn’t sure what his expression meant, but it looked… Awed?

“Thank you,” he said earnestly. “I… nobody’s ever said secrets are okay…”

Marinette shrugged. “I can’t help if I feel left out, but forcing you to tell me everything isn’t how friendship is supposed to work. If you don’t want to tell me, it’s okay.”

Damian’s smile was small, but it made Marinette feel warm. Was he the sun?

“Perhaps instead of a restaurant, I can take you both to the mansion for your lunch?” the driver said, his accent different from Marinette’s.

“You sure Alfred?” Damian asked.

She saw his nervousness. “You don’t have to if you aren’t comforta-”

“No, it’s not that,” he assured. “My brothers can be… rambunctious.”

Oh. Marinette smiled. “I can handle them if that’s the only reason you’re nervous.”

Damian thought for a moment before sighing. “Alfred, please talk us to the mansion.”

“My pleasure, Master Damian.”

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mysideblogofsurveys · 4 years

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Survey 16.

Favorite beverage: Well, Water I guess. I like drinking Mt. Dew or Coffee but I’ve cut back on all that stuff (but I will have a cup of coffee every morning)

When was the last time you had ketchup? On Saturday. We made Sweet Potato Fries but they don’t really good with ketchup

What is the most recent gift you've been given? My co-workers gave me a GrubHub gift card for all the help (they’re working from home but I still go into the office so they e-mail what they need to do to me so I can do it for them - I actually hate doing it but..we don’t really have a choice). Anyway, they wanted to give me something as “Thanks for all the help” and I told them a simple “Thank You” is all I want but people don’t listen. (Not to be ungrateful but I don’t like receiving gifts from anyone other than family and NO ONE listens and gives me things anyway).

Did you leave the house today? Not yet, I’ll be leaving about 8:10 to go to work

Are there bumper stickers on your car? Yes :) a “Straw Hat” pirate one from the anime One Piece and an EXO sticker for the kpop group.

Are you watching tv right now? Kind of. “Dark” on Netflix. I paused it briefly though to read these questions - its in German so I need to read the subtitles.

Are you wearing anything blue? No

Do you have a job? Yes..but I’ve been thinking about quitting so I can move back to the city I loved. Life is too short to live in a place you don’t like and I’ve seen other jobs I can apply for so I’m not worried.

Is your car messy? No, I like to keep it clean.

When did you last have whipped cream? This morning..I like using heavy whipping cream in my coffee (as opposed to the other creamers that are all sugar). My husband uses the canned/aerosol whipped cream in his coffee though.

How far away is the closest house? Literally down 2 flights of stairs. I live on the 3rd floor of an apartment.

What street do you live on? On one that has a cool name

Are you dating anyone? I’m married.

What color is you computer? Both my laptop and desktop are black

Do you own an iPod? What color is it? I do! I won an iPod at my high school graduation celebration (my class had a “lock in” at the school - basically they “lock” you in the school (from like 6pm to 6am) where you can play games, nap if you want, eat all sorts of junk food or just hang out and have a party for everyone graduating, it was a lot of fun. They had a raffle before everyone went home the next morning and I won an iPod (this was in 2006 so a long time ago lol) But it was just the standard black one.

What is the most recent picture on your phone/camera of: UGH OMG so I forgot I took a picture of this DISGUSTING roach that I found in our apt on Friday night. They’re not the tiny/infestation ones, they’re large “Palmetto Bug” roaches that tend to wander into houses that have cracks and our vents. Since I live in an apartment, theres not much I can do about it. I can’t wait to move!!!

Have you ever shot a gun? Oh definitely, we like to go to the gun range with my father-in-law. Its a great way for us to bond and I hope to God I’ll never ever have to actually use one but I like the idea of not being completely defenseless if someone breaks into my house (as I’m small and could easily get overpowered)

What temperature is it? Maybe 70 in the apt but probably 80s outside? Do you know anyone with a third nipple? Uh..no.

What do your parents do for a living? My Mom is a dental hygienist and my Dad is an Electrician.

Have you ever had a pet that had babies? No :/ I always thought that would have been fun though

Which grocery store is closest to you? Publix

Do you have a hamper in your room? Yes

Do you know anyone that's a nurse? Yes but I haven’t talked to him in years.

Do you know someone with the name Alaina? No

What color is the blanket on your bed? Ahh, black blankets, blue blankets, purple blanket..we have like 4 or 5 blankets on our bed.

What are your parent's middle names? Well, one starts with an “S” the other starts with an “E”

Have you ever broken a bone? Yes, kind of

Do you wear braces or glasses? I wear glasses and had braces growing up.

What color are they? I’m assuming my glasses? They’re black and have tiny stars in the corner.

Are you currently reading a book? Yes, I’m reading “Legends of the Alfar” by Markus Heitz

When did you last get your blood drawn? Its been quite a few years

Have you ever done hard drugs? No, I’ve smoked weed before but didn’t like it.

How many contacts are in your phone? A lot but thats because I haven’t deleted them. If I deleted everyone I don’t talk to, there wouldn’t be many.

Does your toilet have a seat cover? No.

What's currently on your grocery list? I have a whole list. We haven’t been to the grocery store in a few days but we need to go when I get off work.

What things do you take with you everywhere? Wallet, phone, car keys..and my Zune (yes, the MP3 player from like 2000 lol)

Do you know someone that is/was over 100 years old? No but my Great-Grandpa is still living and he’s 96

Was your HS principal a girl or a boy? Woman I think..I actually don’t remember

Have you ever eaten a raw egg? No

Do you own any rings? Yes

Have you eaten fruit today? Not yet. I’ve peeled 2 clementines for my breakfast when I get to work though

What about milk? Nope, not for a couple weeks.

What letter does your state start with? F

Could you list all 50 states? Easily.

What about their capitals? No, I used to be able to though

What internet browser do you use? Firefox.

Do you know anyone that lives in Wyoming? No, but my Husband and I joke about just leaving everything and moving there sometimes (to just get away from all the idiocy we see in this city). I can’t believe there are only 500,000 people living in the entire state!

Do you smoke cigarettes? No

Which person you know has the most unique name? A few I suppose

Do you know someone that's missing a limb? No

Do you have facial hair? I don’t but my husband does Are you a bad person? I’m not and I hope no one thinks I am

What was the last swear you said? Bullshit (referring to my state closing beaches for Independence Day - yes I realize this was over a week ago but it still annoys me)

Have you ever called the police on someone? No

What is the most amount of pets you've had at one time? Two - a cat and dog

When did you last check your email? Yesterday.

Have you ever had a 3rd degree burn? No

Have you ever ridden in an ambulance? Yes, I fainted at work on time and they brought me to the hospital to find out what was wrong - thankfully it was nothing major

How long is your hair? About the middle of my back

Do you lock your doors at night? Oh yeah, they’re always locked even when we’re home.

Does your bedroom have a lock? Our bedroom doors do not

What do you have at your bedside? I have a table with old mail, a clock and sometimes my book (I want to read more before bed instead of looking at my phone)

How big is your bed? King

Do you know someone that was murdered? No

Do you know someone who's pregnant? No. My friend was pregnant recently but she miscarried :(

Do you wear a watch? No, but I want to start wearing one!

What was your first pet? A cat

How much jewelry do you own? Not too much. I don’t really wear jewelry.

What is the closest purple thing? My EXO pencil bag - it has their logo in a galaxy themed colors (purple, blue and green)

Green? Same thing as above

What time is it? 7:44am

What is your ideal profession? I wish I knew!! I have no idea :(

How tall are you? Like 5′0

Have you ever gotten x-rays? Yes

Do you wear gloves in the winter? I would but its never Winter in FL.

Do you consider yourself smart? Eh, so so. I’m not stupid but I”m also not a genius. I’m just average.

What color eyes are the prettiest? Gray-Blue eyes or Dark brown

Are your teeth straight? Yes

Do you like chocolate milk? I do but I don’t drink it because of all the sugar

Do you own a bike? No, I haven’t in years. I want to buy one though but theres not really a place to bike where I live right now.

Are you taller than your mom? No, she’s like 5′1 lol so she’s just barely taller than me

Have you ever been engaged? Yes :)

What, in your opinion, is the ugliest name? I dont’ know, I don’t particularly like the old style names though

#survey #surveys #questionnaire #about me

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cabaretcal · 5 years

Text

crush culture - l.h.

(Not my gif)

A whole lotta teen angst, and a whole lotta fluff. Title is definitely based on crush culture by Conan Gray, and you should listen to the song if you haven’t.

Word count: 1.5k

——

“Roses are $2.00 here at the table! You can get 2 for $3.00 or a whole dozen for $10.00! Send one to that special someone!” The student council students’ voices ring through the cafeteria; it’s that time again.

Valentine’s Day

You absolutely hate this dreaded holiday. A useless holiday run by capitalism, Valentine’s Day is something that you never hesitate to talk trash on. On Valentine’s Day, people find someone to show affection to for that holiday and then treat them like shit every day after. Absolute bullshit in your book. It makes you wanna vomit. You were conditioned to hate Valentine’s Day. With your mother being divorced multiple times by all different men, you weren’t one to believe in love. You believed love was just for the label, and that real love did not exist.

You get up to get some napkins, passing the table with the flower sale.

“Hey Y/N!” You turned around. Luke. Him being your long time childhood friend, you give him a friendly smile and walk back to him. He was sat at the table with an eager look on his face; he loved this whole ‘show your lover you love them’ type of thing. Even though he wasn’t in a relationship, he loved love. It made you sick.

“Why hello Luke,” You smile, “having fun selling flowers?”

He grins, “You know it!”

You laugh, he’s always been your best friend, and you’re so grateful for him. You two have never been the people who have someone to love, so every Valentine’s Day you guys celebrate anti Valentine’s Day together. You order a pizza and watch scary movies in his basement. He doesn’t hate love, no, he just doesn’t celebrate it himself.

“We still on in my basement like always on Thursday?” He asks.

“Of course! When am I not?” You tease. He smiles and you part ways, going back to get the napkins as you originally planned.

—-

The days leading up to Valentine’s Day, you can’t seem to escape love. Couples in the hall, your friends desperately trying to find someone for that one singular night, the shows on television, and the aisles at the drugstore; love is everywhere, and you absolutely hate it.

Everyone wants that special someone only for the soul purpose of being able to say they have someone for Valentine’s Day, it makes you absolutely sick. From behind you, a familiar voice calls your name.

“Y/N I know you hear me!” Luke yells. You stop in your tracks, turning on your heel.

“You rang?” You say jokingly.

“I’m on a mission to make you not hate love.” You sigh in annoyance at his claim.

“That’s funny Luke, but you know I hate love. It’s always who’s kissing who and who’s fucking who and who will last after high school and who won’t.” You say bluntly. He sighs in frustration at your remark, frowning.

“I bet I can make you at least think love is okay.” He crosses his arms, looking you dead in the eyes with his icy blue ones.

“Fine, try your best Luke.” And that was all it took for him to wrap his arm around your shoulder and walk you to his car with him. You get inside his hand me down 2002 Honda Civic on the passenger side and buckle your seatbelt.

He puts his keys in ignition, reversing the car out of the parking spot and driving slightly above the speed limit. He grins at you, “Just you wait, I’ll have you not hating love in no time.” You shake your head, having a handful of doubts in your mind that he would ever be able to do so, but you said nothing and just went on.

—-

You find yourself sitting at a high top with Luke at Starbucks. He sits down with both his and your drink in his hands, and then he asks the question.

“Explain this thing you describe as ‘crush culture’” he raises his eyebrow and uses air quotes.

You sip your coffee and sigh, “I hate the idea that to be happy you must have love. Crush culture comes in when it comes to the action of having a significant other just to say you have a boyfriend or girlfriend, ya know like fake love,” He nods, and you continue, “my mom has never had a relationship with anyone she actually loves, I've only seen that my whole life. I just don’t know what real love is.”

He furrowed his eyebrows in thought, “Well, your reasoning for hating love is understandable because you’ve never seen real love. Of course you’re gonna hate your image of love, you’ve been given false information. So I want to teach you what real love is,” he pauses, getting up, “come on we’re going to the drug store real quick.”

The two of you grab your cups and leave, and you get in his car slightly confused about what is to come.

—

As soon as you two arrived to the local drug store, he led you to the photo printing station. He hooked up his phone and looked through his photos all the way to the ones from 9 months ago. They were the photos of him and his past girlfriend, he chose a few and printed them.

“Print the ones of you and him.” You knew exactly who he was talking about. The main source of your hatred for love: your ex boyfriend. You compiled, printing about the same amount as he did.

It said it’d take 30 minutes until they were ready. In the meantime, he led you to the refrigerator section and grabbed 4 cartons of eggs. He passed them to you and walked to another section across the store: the spray paint section. He got 3 colors: red, white, and bright green. It finally got through your head what you guys were going to do.

You were going to destroy what made you have that mindset on Valentine’s Day.

Picking up the photos after 30 minutes passed, you both went to the checkout counter, and he grabbed a lighter at the register in the process. After paying, you both went to the car. He drove to the front of a quite nice looking house and put the car in park. He got out quietly closing the car door, waiting for you before walking to a nice, new looking car in the driveway.

“I’m going to destroy what broke my heart, Y/N. It’s gonna show you what real love is not.” He said quietly. Holding one egg carton in his right hand and a can of spray paint in the other, he marched to the nice car in the driveway and sat the carton down. He shook the bottle of spray paint and went to town, ruining the exterior of the car with the paint. One part of you thought this was absolutely terrible. Although, you remembered how abusive she was to him in their relationship. You grabbed the carton, opened it, and waited for Luke to finish with his paint job. Once he finished, he gave you the thumbs up with a huge grin on his face and you threw eggs at her car like no tomorrow. But then the porch light turned on, and you both made a run for the car and sped away.

You then repeated the action to your ex boyfriend’s car and god, it was exhilarating. You thought about every name he called you, every one of your dates he skipped out on last minute, and every girl he messed around with behind your back. Thinking back on that, you didn’t feel bad. And again, you made a run for the car and sped off with the music all the way up, laughing with Luke. In that moment, you were unstoppable.

And lastly, you went to his house to the backyard. He started up his fire pit and threw every trace of his past love life in the burning flames. You followed behind him, throwing every photo you printed. You felt so alive, you could finally breathe again. He looks at you with that dorky smile of his, and you’ve never felt the way you did in that moment about someone. He cared about you enough to literally vandalize your ex's car with you. He spends every Valentine’s Day with you because he cares about you. You just now noticed, and you’ve never felt more in love. You finally experienced a real love, not any characteristic of crush culture. You turned to him and wrapped your arms around him, giving him the most sincere hug you’ve ever gave.

He smiled at you, “let’s do this again sometime, but without vandalism. Just like… spending time together-“ he rambles helplessly, and you kiss him, stopping him in his tracks.

“Just shut up and take me on a date, Hemmings.” You grin, and he smiles bashfully.

“I told you love isn’t that bad.”

#luke hemmings blurbs #5sos luke #luke hemmings #luke hemmings fluff #luke hemmings imagine #5sos #5 seconds of summer #lh #hemmings #luke hemmings one shot #5sos imagine #5sos fic #5 seconds of summer imagine

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michael3434g · 6 years

Text

Tom and the awful Detective Henry

Tom and the Despicable Detective Henry

Written by Michael D. Gutierrez

Chapter 1. Rules and Lies Forty years ago in the town of Eagle Rock, there was a golden age of great detectives. Those detectives ran out all of the mafias and exposed corrupt political figures Everyday reading the Eagle Rock Post seemed like reading an old pulp detective novel. The story’s with all the fighting and the good guy getting the girl in the end. The bomb being stopped when there’s just one second left on the counter.

Good for me, that golden age stuff is long gone over. Most of the detectives sold out and started to work for private companies and secret government branches, instead of helping the locals. Other detectives that wanted to play hero, were hunted down by private mob detectives, then they were killed. The last honest detective out there. He's somewhat of a folk hero in the streets. His name is Harrison Grant. He's still at work trying to put guys like me in prison. I thought he died a long time ago, but our leads say otherwise. He works incognito.

He's hard for any mob's private detective to track because very few people know what Harrison looks like.

He is considered one of the best. I don't feel he would be difficult to capture because he must be old as heck. Harrison must be like in his late 70's pushing 80's.

I doubt he still working. I assume someone’s just pretending to be him. Probably just using Harrison brand makes sense. I doubt he still working himself.

My name is Tom Dime, I run with the Grump Street gang. I am one of the three people apart from this small task force to capture this sun of a gun. The other Twitter men with are, my right-hand man, Daniel Kan and some private investigator name Henry Shiz.

Detective Henry Shiz is kinda primadonna.

Two hours ago we got a tip-off that detective Harrison was in the neighborhood.

Henry: I hope you boys are armed because this could be dangerous. We are capturing him not hunting him. Harrison is not a man that will not be captured easily. Harrison was an A-rank threat before he went off the radar. Daniel: He's just a wash up old man that can't let go of his the glory days. This should be a cakewalk. Henry: That's not true Daniel, Harrison has busted a lot of our top leaders in the past. This old man is not a pushover, he's a problem. I'm just really surprised it's just the three of us on this mission. Tom: Detective Henry, do you have a history with detective Harrison? Henry: Yes, Harrison showed me most of his old tricks, when I was a young up and coming detective. Around your age, early twenties. We work together in a couple of major big cases back in the day. Daniel: How can me and my buddy Tom, know you won't betray us when we start killing your old friend boy, Harrison? Henry: That won't be the most dreadful thing I have ever done, ok. Trust me I can deal with it. First, I like being on the Grump street payroll. Second, the FBI does not want me anymore, in reason, I won't get into. Lastly, my daughter is going to a scam ridden art college, so I need as much money as I can get my hands on. Tom: I know liars Daniel, and he is not one. Don't get me wrong, he is a cockroach, but he is our cockroach. Daniel: Great because nothing is going to stop me in blowing Harrison's brains out. It is his fault my father went to the slammer. My dad was just selling fake social security account. We got a tip from a store owner that the gang has a connection with. He said he saw detective Harrison leaving and entering the rundown Dude Gum factory for a couple of days. Around 3:30am. All three of us enter through a broken window to get into the factory. Henry: Alright boys listen up. Let's stick together, ok. Daniel: No I can't, Henry. I need to get revenge now. Daniel ran down the hall, with his gun out. Daniel has all focus on finding detective Harrison. Henry: Dumb kid, he does not know who he is dealing with. Your friend is a moron, Tom. We get more money if catch the guy alive. Tom: Sorry, Henry, Daniel has never been the type of guy that takes orders.What is your plan, man? More money if catch the guy alive. Henry: Stealth. It' Stealth. Taking advantage of Harrison age is the best way to get the drop on him. His hearing must not be that great anymore. He probably can’t put up a fist as fight like he uses to.

I and Henry slowly walk upstairs to oversee the factory so we could find detective Harrison. As we walk around the hall I see Henry planting nano cameras on the walls. Tom: I still don't understand why would you want to betray your own friend? Henry: Friend? I have a very small history with detective Harrison. That's why I would not call him a friend. It would be great for me, if he disappeared. I have done some bad things, so maybe someday he may come after me. One less worry on my mind.

Tom: Oh, I see... You want insurance so Harrison won't come after you. Henry: It would make me sleep easier knowing he's swimming with the fishes. A fire alarm goes off all around the Dude Gum factory. Henry and me grabbed our guns out immediately. I would be lying if I said i wasn't nervous. Tom: I really hope that was just, Daniel fucking around with the alarm. Let's run back downstairs. I think I thought I saw a fire alarm there. A voiceover from an intercom shouted saying "I'm not there Henry, I'm in the cafeteria". Henry: Dammit, it is Harrison, Tom!

Tom: That alarm scared the shit out of me. Do you think someone ratted us out and alerted, Harrison? Henry: That's possible, Tom. I think it was most likely Daniel's recklessness that got Harrison's attention. That high school dropout fool. I and Henry entered in the large lunch room and see an old man with a wearing trench coat. Could it be Harrison? He looked a lot older than I imagine. Henry's face looks like he saw a ghost, he is speechless. Tom: You're Harrison, right? The detective? You got the whole trench coat thing.

Harrison: Yes stranger, I am Harrison. Now the young man I have a question back to you. Are you three here to murder me. Tom: No, we... Henry: Shut the heck up Tom, don't tell him anything, not even a lie. Don't give him a bit of info. Harrison: Henry, it's really nice to see you again. It's funny to see you as an old man. Of course not as old as me. I remember the good old days when you were a young man ready to solve every case that popped up. It saddens me to see my pupil working with the wrong crowd.

Henry: The old days were great. I'm glad to see you again in a strange way. It's nostalgic to see you still wear your old gray trench coat. Most elite detective’s stop that fashion trend several decades ago.

Harrison: This trench coat cost me a couple grand. I plan to wear it until I die.

The fire alarm is still ringing over and over, it's driving me insane. Tom: Yo, could you guys stop talking about dress up? Harrison, you turn off the freaking alarm! The ringing is killing my mind. Harrison: Calm down, the alarm will go off by itself in a minute or less. Henry: Harrison, why have you been hanging out in the Dude Gum factory? Harrison: For a couple weeks I've been investigating the link between Dude Gum and blindness. A lot of Dude Gum consumers and factory workers have been getting blindness. Lucky most cases of blindness are temporary.

Tom: Crap. I guess I won't steal a crate of Dude Gum on my way out. Harrison: Since I was honest and answered your question, could you answer mine? Are you boys here to murder me? Because I need to know before I make my next move.

The fire alarm stop ringing, now in the room is a moment of silence. Henry: Sorry, I'm on my client's payroll, Harrison. I could not back out now, they would kill me, my daughter. I really hoped this day would never happen. Harrison: I wished you had the guts to just say the truth. Shame on you, Henry. I trained you to use your detective skills for the greater good, not for selfish reasons. Henry: I had no choice, Harrison. This isn't a black and white issue. Harrison: Don't act like you're the victim, Henry. What happened to you? I remembered when you liked to help the common man. I remember you said something like that once to me. I am aware of all the peoples lives you destroyed, by fooling around with the stock market. You have grown up to be a crook. That’s the legacy I see.

Henry: You know what fine, you're right, Harrison. I don't like to be paid $60 and one cup of sugar a day looking for a damn lost kid. Working for the elite keeps me off the street, ok. You knew, I always hated being poor. I saw a way out, so took it.

Harrison: Just like everyone else, you grew up to be a big disgrace. I feel ashamed of being your mentor. It kills me a little bit every time I find out one of my ex-students are abusing their skills for selfish reasons. Tom: Harrison, you should stop talking to us, like if you had the upper hand. With one small phone call, I could get a small army of gangbangers over here right now. The capital of the Grump street gang is literally down the block. Henry: Tom, I told you already to shut it! Let the detectives talk. You're just simply the help.

Daniel finally entered the same room as me, Henry, and detective Harrison. Daniel has a big bag of stolen Dude Gum. Daniel paused and said.

Daniel: Oh shit is that the detective, Harrison guy?

Harrison: Hi. I just warned your friends about Dude Gum. You should stay away from the stuff.

Daniel: What the heck, it's fucking, detective Harrison. What are you guys waiting for? When are we going to shoot him? You got a gun, right? Tom: We are here to capture him, Daniel. Remember? Daniel: This guy is a folk hero, kill him now and you will be a legend for life. That would be crazy Rad. Tom: If we kill him we won't get paid, Daniel. I only want the paper. Glory doesn't pay the bills dude. Harrison: You guys should kidnap me already, before the cops and the fire department shows up. Remember I pulled the fire alarm three minutes ago? Unless you want to talk to me to death. Henry: Let's go outside gentlemen! An escort van should be on its way by now. Handcuff Harrison and let's head outside.

Ok, great it seems like he won't give up a fight. We just get him to the gang warehouse and then we all get paid.

I could see Henry feels shaken seeing Harrison. I can’t tell if he sad, mad, or happy.

This was way too overhyped. None of us thought this would be such a cakewalk.

Daniel: Harrison, I am surprised you're not crying like a little bitch. You do know you're walking the death march? My boss up the street is going to go nuts when he sees you. Harrison: Only God says when I die, young man. I don't blame you because of your a product of this strange world.

Daniel: You don't know anything about me, man. I am the one who is going to end you.

Harrison: You don’t look like a murder. There is still time for you to turn back. Think to yourself is this the type of world I want to live in. It is not too late for you unlike your friend Henry.

Daniel: Henry, Harrison is talking trash about you.

Tom: Ouch.

Henry: Can everyone shut up the heck up for a second!? Our transportation is here.

A white van showed up across the street. All four of us ran in the back of the van. Daniel put duct tape over detective Harrison mouth. Daniel: I can't wait to see you beg for your life when we bring you to our boss. Henry: I'm surprised the van shown up on time. Also, the driver does not look drunk or stoned. The gangs hiring management department must be getting better. Hey, driver what’s your name? The driver was a young girl That could not be more than 19 years old. She was wearing a green jumpsuit with a name tag saying, Freddy. I saw Daniel's, eyes brighten up with her cuteness. Freddy: Oh, hey, my name is Freddy. I will be your driver for today. It's nice to finally meet you, detective Henry. I’ve heard interesting about you. You found out who burn down the Grump warehouse near Echo Park. Henry: That was my first case with Grump, Freddy. Freddy is normally not a female name. I like it, Freddy. I find it to be bold. Freddy: Thank you. My father picks it out my name. Name after some baseball player. By the way, I'm shocked you guys captured, Harrison. I didn't even think he was still alive. Daniel: Girl, I like your jumpsuit. It's cool you're jumpsuit as Grump Street green. How long have you been in the Grump organization? I've never seen you before in any kickbacks. Henry: Daniel, you moron! Detective Harrison is in the van. Now he knows we're Grump street members. I hope you plugged his fricken ear. Daniel: I didn't but Who gives a shit? He's going to die in an hour or two anyway. It doesn't really matter, man. Henry: Tom and Daniel throw Harrison back in the van and shut up! I hope I won't be paired up with you two numbskulls again. You guys mess up my style. Anyways get Harrison tied up good. I am going to make some calls.

I tide Harrison's feet together and Daniel stuffed one of us dirty gym socks down his face throat. After that, we all went to the van and driven off. Freddy: You guys ready to jam out? Tom: Freddy, where are you driving us? Freddy: We're going to the abandon, Fish Tung factory. Members are starting to show up to see if you captured, Harrison. Henry: That’s strange. I thought we would be going to the Grump compound. Do know if there any reason why we’re not going there.

Henry: Fish Tung factory is out of business? Wow, that is insane, my grandfather works there when, Fish Tung first open, 60 years ago. What a shame, this country is really falling apart. Daniel: Fish Tung, closed down six years ago, Henry. All the jobs got moved overseas. Henry: Another rival fish company must have hired a detective to run out, Fish Tung and other competitors out of town. It a common thing to in business nowadays. Or most likely greedy corrupt unions. Either way very tragic. Tom: How do detectives ruin a business. Henry: Lots of times for small business we would dress up as IRS agents and make up fake tax fines. It gets funny when a stupid owner would pay us, off on the spot. Then we would show up once a week until the business is bankrupt. You got to turn a little soulless to enjoy that type of job. It’s mafioso type stuff. Daniel: Man, Henry, you're ruining America more than lawyers. Henry: Don't get me started on how us detectives use unions on major companies. That's a 30-minute lecture, pretty much, Daniel. I doubt you could comprehend it so I won't waste my breath Daniel: F off, Henry. Tom: Henry, are you going to stick around and watch what happens your old pal? Henry: No, thanks. I don't want to watch, what unholy things Grump has planned for detective Harrison. I just had lunch not that long ago. Tom: I hope it's not dog related. Once a dog tastes human flesh, it's hard for it to respect it's master again. So I have heard.

As I said that I notice, Freddy looked a little nervous. I'm guessing she has not been in Grump for that long. It has taken me a long time for my fear to fall off my back. One day I just accepted that no one cared for me except the gang. That gave me the strength to not fear death. Knowing the biggest gang in the United States of America got my back. Daniel: So Freddy, what are you doing later? I'm just asking if you want to see a movie with me. The fellow that captured the world famous detective Harrison. As long as I know Daniel, he's always been awful in picking up chicks. He also sucks at being a nice guy.

Freddy: Sorry Daniel, I'm going to be a little busy this month. I got to ship a bunch of drugs down Highland Park. Thanks though. Daniel: Ha, that's ok. Hey anyways do you want some Dude Gums, Freddy? I stoled a bunch at the Dude Gum factory. I wish I stole a crate full of the stuff. Freddy: I'm flattered, but I heard Dude Gums are not very good for you. Especially for your eyes. Henry: She rejected you and won't even take your Gum. Just give up already, Daniel, she's not going to bite. Daniel: Shut up, old man or I'll pimp slap your ass. Henry: What!? Did you even hear what you said? By the way, I am not even that old.

Henry: I hope you two morons won't act like this when we get to the Fish Tung factory. You do know the main boss of Grump will be there as well, right? It will be the first time I’ll probably ever see. I don’t even know anyone that knows his name.

Daniel: Wow What really? The founder of the whole gang will be there. Harrison must really have made life hell for Grump gang.

Tom: Henry, you should give us a little bit of respected. I and Daniel just help you catch one the greatest detective on the face of this planet. You should recommend us for some type promotion. Henry: Why would respect I low rank gang bangers that couldn't even pass high school? You both failed upwards. Daniel: What the hell man, that's not even our fault the school district went bankrupt three years ago. Henry: You both almost ruined the mission. Freddy, you should have been there and seen it. Detective Harrison thought Tom and stupid Daniel were the biggest clowns. Harrison could tell both of you were all bark and no bite. It was sad. Freddy: Ha. I am glad to see all three of you guys are alright. The Van finally made it to the Tung Fish factory. They parked next to the main dock harbor. It smelled bad.

Henry: Alright boys get Harrison out of the goddamn van. Daniel immediately throws Harrison down on the concrete floor. Harrison left trench coat pocket ripped on the way down. Two of his button ripped off as well.

Tom: Where is everyone? I thought there would be a bunch gangster here already. Henry: I was told if detective Harrison was ever captured the founder would kill him personally. I guess he wants the world to know he captured detective Harrison. Instead of him mysteriously disappearing in history as a hero.

Tom: I assume the founder thinks Harrison, vanishing as a legend is too good of a death for him. He probably wants the world to know Grump organization is not to be messed with. Henry: That is true, Tom. The Grump founder must be on his helicopter flying over here right about now. I sent the founder our GPS location just know. The founder does not live close by, so we’ll all have to be here for a couple of hours. Daniel: It is super wack none of us is going to get any credit for nabbing detective old fart. Money cool in all, but bragging rights would have been great.

Daniel begins going through the van pulling out beers from one of Freddy’s storage containers.

Daniel: I found our consolation prize.

Tom: Daniel, that is Grump street property. That is not a good idea bro. Daniel: Yeah we’re Grump street, So let’s all celebrate. Haha. Freddy: Oh ahh... Henry: Freddy, I apologize on behalf of my goons miss behaviors. Daniel put those beers back right now! If those go missing Freddy can get in massive trouble from the higher-ups. Freddy: Those beers are my own stash. Sometimes I get paid for products instead of cash so you guys could drink up. I was to about to offer them anyways. Tom: Freddy, you're the best. I will try not to look drunk when the founder gets here. Henry: Please don't. It’s the first time I'll get to meet the man who signs my paychecks face to face. I and Daniel began started drinking. It's a perfect time to drink a beer. The alcohol smell covers the rotten fish gut stench surrounding us.

Freddy notice Henry was not drinking. Freddy: Henry, you deserve a drink just much as the other guys. Henry, why are you not drinking?

Daniel: Because he’s a fruit. Freddy laughs at Daniels joke. Freddy: Henry, you deserve a drink just much as the other guys. Capturing the world famous detective deserves a drink. Henry looks really surprised and happy. So was I. I really didn’t think this underdog operation would work. We capture one of the greatest detectives of the world. He might be been an old geezer now, but he still a legend.

Tom: Henry you sure you don’t want? The beer will make you twice as happy.

Henry: No thanks. I don’t drink liquor at all. It reminds about family.

Tom: Me too man. Before my mom kick out my pope. I and my pope would drink every weekend. We would try to crash every local party we can. He was so funny back in the day.

Henry: Once again no thank you. I can’t even stand the smell of alcohol. So please step three steps back.

Tom: Hey Henry, what about your boy Harrison a beer? He should at least have a last drink. Henry: Harrison, doesn’t drink.

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universitykpop · 7 years

Text

Lead Me On

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Songfic

Member: Suho

Words: 2,102

A/N: It’s 4 am and i’m tired so i’ll proofread later oops

So don’t call me baby Unless you mean it Don’t tell me you need me If you don’t believe it So let me know the truth Before I dive right into you

“Baby, come on. You’re so slow.” Joonmyeon laughed as he glanced over his shoulder at you.

Little does he know, that made your heart flutter. You could die hanging on the words he says. Did he mean it as a flirty name or just a name for a friend? He was so hard to read.

“Maybe if you helped me carry something.” You squinted your eyes at him, the cake in your hands feeling like it would fall.

“I was seeing if you’d try to carry all the birthday stuff by yourself.” He grinned and took the cake.

His smile was so cute. You wanted to pinch his little cheeks. Ever since you met him in that math class in high school, you swore to yourself you wouldn’t fall for that stupid smile. But the closer you became, the easier it was for him to unravel all resistance you had built up.

As you walked into Baekhyun’s apartment, you heard several friends ask Joonmyeon about his vacation trip with Sehun, Minseok, and Jongdae. It was a guys only holiday, so you kept up to date with their adventures through social media. They spent a week and a half at a gorgeous resort. You were pretty jealous to say the least.

“How you holding up, champ?” Chanyeol teasingly asked you, resting a hand on your arm.

“I will set you on fire.” You warned, and his touch was gone.

“Sounds like somebody didn’t confess.”

“Hush!” You hissed, making sure no one heard, “If he hears you, I promise I’ll kill you, and it’ll look like an accident.”

“God, you are so violent today. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?”

“You know there’s no way I’d tell him.”

“I’ll do it for you. Where did he go?” Chanyeol looked around the kitchen as you glared even harder at the tall boy.

A hand suddenly pinched Chanyeol’s ear and yanked him back.

“If looks could kill, Y/N would commit capital murder. Quit teasing her, you ass.” Kyungsoo shooed Chanyeol away and turned back to you, “Why does he even know?”

“In high school, he took my diary out of my backpack thinking it was my notes. He has yet to let me live it down.” You sighed, placing the gift bag on a counter.

“But he does have a point.”

Your glare returned quickly, finding a new victim.

“What? You really should confess. What if he feels the same?”

“I can tell he doesn’t. I’ve been friendzoned ever since he called me ‘bud’ and finger gunned me.” You rolled your eyes at the memory.

You remembered that night you had a project to finish and Joonmyeon got a text from a girl saying yes to his date offer. Of course, he didn’t want to leave you to do the rest of the work, but you assured him it was fine. “Thanks, Bud.” Bang. Bang. You would be even saltier if she hadn’t stood him up last minute. You also remembered how upset he was when he came back over and how quickly he brightened up when you suggested watching his favorite movie. That adorable little smile and those actual peachy cheeks… kind of like how he looked right then talking to Jongdae. God, you were in deep.

“Please stop staring. You’re being embarrassing.” Sehun huffed next to you, knocking you out of your daze.

“Shut up. I wasn’t staring.”

“Sorry, ogling. You got a little drool right there on your chin,” He pretended to wipe it away as you swatted at his hand, “But there is something I need to tell you.” His voice lowered.

“What? About Joonmyeon?”

“Yeah… Um, on the plane, Jongdae and I were bothering him, and I happened to glance down at his phone. A picture of you and him was his lockscreen. So we-”

“I’m his lockscreen?” You felt excitement bubbling up in your chest.

“He was in the picture too. Calm down. Anyways, we started teasing him about it and asked if he liked you or something.” Sehun looked down at his hands for a moment, and you knew Joonmyeon’s answer.

That excitement fell to the pit of your stomach, and you wanted to throw up. The room was suddenly warm. The air was thick; you couldn’t breathe correctly.

“Why would you tell me that?” Your voice cracked.

“I don’t want to see you pining after someone who doesn’t like you back. It felt selfish not to tell you. Now it’s starting to feel selfish telling you. You shouldn’t waste your time on something that’s not going to happen. I’m sorry I told you.”

“But- How- I don’t understand. He’s been so sweet to me, calling me ‘baby,’ paying for my food, surprising me with candy.” You grasped at words but couldn’t comprehend the situation. Every hug, every hand held, every lingering glance, none of it was real. Was it only in your head the whole time?

“Y/N, he’s just really friendly. You’re one of his best friends, so he’s going to be like that with you.”

“As much as I want to die right now, thank you for telling me.” You turned your head to peek at the man you had fallen for. Maybe you had looked too deeply into everything. Even Joonmyeon had told you that you do that.

“I need a drink.” You dismissed yourself to grab a bottle of some fruity mix that Baekhyun bought and mope in the living room with the rest of the party. Hopefully, Jongin’s birthday would distract you from the thing that was now hurting you so much that you couldn’t even look at your best friend.

Best friend. How could you have been so stupid to think someone like him would even consider you anything more than a friend. He had the looks, personality, and money; he could easily attract someone like that. The more you thought about it, the quicker you drank. Once the bottle was empty, you felt a little loose. This wouldn’t be so bad, right?

“What’s wrong? Did Sehun tell you about that girl and Joonmyeon?” Jongdae asked, wedging himself between you and the armrest.

“What girl?” Your attention snapped to the boy.

“Oh, shit.” A look of panic flashed across his face. As he tried to escape your wrath, your hand caught the back of his shirt and returned his ass to the couch.

“Now, you have to tell me since you brought it up.”

“Fuck… While we were on vacation, we met some girls at the resort bar. Joonmyeon ended up going back to one of the girls’ rooms…” Jongdae shifted on the cushion, “He was gone for a while and met us back at our room. He wouldn’t tell us what happened, but it doesn’t take a genius to figure it out though.”

“You guys have such a way with words today. You all are making me feel like an idiot.” You growled, grip tightening on his shirt.

Maybe your friends were right; you should have confessed to him already. Maybe you waited too long. Maybe there was no chance for you now.

“Y/N!” A voice shouted from the dining room.

Your eyes trained on the birthday boy.

“Are you going to play this card game?” He asked, completely oblivious to your sour mood.

You headed to the table despite just wanting to curl up in a corner and disappear. “What game?”

“I forgot what it’s called, but we pass out the cards and each person will slap down a card. For every ace, joker, or jack laid out, that person has to answer a question. For every king or queen, that person has to do a dare.” Jongin smiled and made you feel very little happiness. The boy was usually a ray of sunshine that could shine through any gray cloud, but it just wasn’t working today.

After another drink and several weird dares consisting of Jongin kissing Baekhyun’s cheek and Sehun licking Minseok’s abs, Jongdae threw down an ace causing Baekhyun to crack up. He had a smug grin on his face as he assured everyone that he had a good question.

“Out of all the guys here, who would you sleep with?”

“Can I take my card back?” Jongdae joked, “Probably Minseok. He’s really quiet when he’s asleep and doesn’t toss and turn.”

“That’s not wha-”

“Next person!” Jongdae interrupted Baekhyun and nudged you.

When you flipped your card on top of the deck, your body tensed. A joker.

“I’ve got a question.” Joonmyeon giggled as Sehun tried to compose himself and hit Joonmyeon’s shoulder.

“Who was the last person you had a wet dream about?” Joonmyeon grinned, putting you on the spot.

Your face burned with embarrassment, and Sehun began laughing.

“Was it me or something?” Joonmyeon teased.

The joker was you. You couldn’t not answer him because that would give you away. You couldn’t say you didn’t want to answer because you’d be pegged as the new party pooper; you didn’t want to strip Kyungsoo of that title. You held your breath in anticipation for the dumb answer that was about to blurt out of your mouth.

“Don’t flatter yourself. It was about Sehun.”

As the words flew across the room, Sehun, who had just leaned his head back for a drink of his beer, choked loudly, the liquid dribbling down his chin. You stood up from the chair and headed for the kitchen.

Chanyeol was sat on the counter texting and talking to Kyungsoo and Yixing when you hurriedly grabbed his arm and asked him in his ear to take you home. He gave you a once-over before nodding and jumping down to get your jackets.

At the front door, you could hear Joonmyeon talking to Kyungsoo.

“What’s wrong with Y/N?”

“Dunno. She just asked Chanyeol to take her home. They’re getting their jackets right now.”

Not wanting to hear any more, you pushed the door open and headed out without Chanyeol. Once in the elevator, you repeatedly pressed the close doors button, but a hand shot between the doors at the last second. Joonmyeon stepped inside with a concerned look. The elevator tried to resume its way to the ground floor, but Joonmyeon halted it.

“What’s going on?” He asked, searching your eyes for an answer.

“Nothing. I just want to go home.” You looked away from him.

“You were fine when we got here, and you suddenly started giving me a death glare.”

Maybe this was the moment you needed to tell him. There wasn’t any other excuse you could think of. You didn’t know if you could still be friends with your heart broken. If only Sehun and Jongdae didn’t say anything to you, you could continue living your life in ignorant bliss. You were about to jump into freezing waters, helplessly watching the inevitable pain get closer as you fall helplessly.

“Do you have a tendency to lead people on?” Your voice was harsher than you intended.

“What?”

“Don’t call me baby unless you mean it, and don’t tell me you need me if you don’t believe it.”

“Are you- Y/N, do you like me?” He asked, his voice shaking slightly.

“Yes… I apologize for that.” You spoke in defeat.

“You know… you’re a mystery. I’ve traveled the world, and there’s no one like you.” He quietly chuckled to himself.

“That girl you slept with on vacation seemed pretty special too, right?”

“Girl I slept with? I didn’t sleep with anyone. What are you talking about?”

“Jongdae told me you went back to a girl’s room.” You finally looked at him again.

“Babe, I didn’t do anything with her. She was really drunk, and I walked her there because it wasn’t safe for her to do so by herself.”

Your eyes widened and moved to the floor.

“I feel so stupid.” You whispered to yourself. Tears stung the corners of your eyes.

“How would you feel if I told you I love you?” His gentle hand lifted your chin.

“Even more stupid.”

A grin broke out across his face as he leaned down to your lips. His kiss sent a spark down your body. When he moved away, you could see the emotion in his eyes.

“And actually, I’ve been known to give my all,” He corrected your statement from earlier, “I’d never lead you on. I was being obvious because I just couldn’t form the right words.”

“So you do really like me?” You needed to hear him say it.

“I love you, Y/N.”

Your heart warmed at his words as his gaze bored into yours.

“I love you, too.”

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sdhs-enjolras · 7 years

Text

About Me

The last 1. drink: Coffee 2. phone call: Jehan. They’re one of the only people I know who still prefers calling over texting. Not that I’m complaining, of course. 3. text message: I can’t keep track of who sent the last text, because my group chat with Courfeyrac and Combeferre is currently blowing up. Every time I type an answer, another responds, so I guess both of them?? 4. song you listened to: “C’est La Mort” by The Civil Wars 5. time you cried: It definitely wasn’t the other day, when I decided to rewatch Up. Definitely not then. Okay, I lied; yes, it was. 6. dated someone twice: I haven’t dated anyone once, so… 7. kissed someone and regretted it: Haven’t actually done that, either. 8. been cheated on: Not in a romantic way, but I don’t want to give three “no”s in a row, so here’s a story: my dog, who I’d had since I was little, met Combeferre when I was in 7th grade and immediately decided that she liked him better than me. Never have I felt so betrayed. 9. lost someone special: The aforementioned dog, but luckily, that is the only real loss I’ve had to deal with so far. 10. been depressed: Nope! Yes 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: Not technically… When I was six or seven, I went to a family Christmas party and took a sip of what I thought was apple juice. If you think alcohol tastes bad when you’re planning on it, imagine how revolting it is when you’re a kid who is expecting apple juice. It was so bad that it set off my gag reflex, and ruined the party for anyone who happened to be in the room. Not a pleasant memory. 3 favourite colours 12. Red 13. Crimson 14. Scarlet in the last year have you 15. made new friends: I like to think I have. 16. fallen out of love: Nope. 17. laughed until you cried: Plenty of times. 18. found out someone was talking about you: Yeah, a couple of people. You know how high schoolers are. 19. met someone who changed you: To an extent, I think everyone I meet has an impact on me in some way. 20. found out who your friends are: I don’t think I ever didn’t know. There’s only one person who I’m unsure about. 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: Nope. general 22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: All of them??? Do people do that? Do they have Facebook friends who they haven’t met? Of course, I try to reach out to people on other forms of social media, but nobody even uses Facebook these days. 23. do you have any pets: Not anymore, unfortunately. I would love to get one, but nobody in my family is home often enough to justify a dog. Maybe a cat, someday. 24. do you want to change your name: I was about to say no, but that was because for a second, I literally forgot that Enjolras is...not technically my name. It’s my last name. But, it’s the only one I’ve ever really used, so, in a way, I kind of already did change it. I mean, seriously, when’s the last time anyone has ever called me Alex? 25. what did you do for your last birthday: there was a Bernie Sanders rally just a half hour from my house, so a few of my friends and I made a day out of it. We went out to eat at this amazing local diner and then went to the rally, and it was awesome! 26. what time did you wake up: 5:30. 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: Planning the protest at the barber shop. You would not believe how difficult it is to get a big group of people to the same place at the same time. 28. name something you can’t wait for: Okay, if we’re being real and stepping away from the obvious, political stuff? I’m already really pumped for the next Avengers movie. What can I say? I’m a fan. 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: Just now, actually. 31. what are you listening to right now: My dad is watching the news down in the living room, and my mom is baking cookies. Dad usually does most of the baking, but her cookies are legendary. 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: I’m sure I have, at some point 33. something that is getting on your nerves: Grantaire 34. most visited website: Tumblr 35. hair colour: Blonde 36. long or short hair: Medium, I guess? If I ever straightened it, it would probably be pretty long. 37. do you have a crush on someone: No. Grantaire 38. what do you like about yourself: My determination. I think that being driven and focused is incredibly important, and while I encounter many a few instances where I want to give up, I always feel good about myself when I push through and get it done 39. piercings: None 40. blood type: O- 41. nickname: Well, my last name, I guess. Oh, and some people call me Enj. R calls me Apollo, but he’s the only one. 42. relationship status: Single 43. zodiac: Leo, but I don’t believe in all that stuff 44. pronouns: He/him 45. favourite tv show: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver 46. tattoos: None yet. Maybe someday. 47. right or left handed: Right. 48. surgery: Not yet, unless we’re counting stitches. 50. sport: Yeah, not my thing 51. vacation: France would be incredible, but I’d need to get better at the language, first. I only know the absolute basics. 52. pair of trainers: Depends on the time of year, and what I’m wearing GENERAL 53. eating: My dad made burgers tonight, and they were so unbelievably good. Sometimes, you just need a little junk food. 54. drinking: Coffee. I’m drinking it right now. Yes, it’s almost nighttime, and no, it’s not decaf. 55. I’m about to: sneak and eat some of Mom’s cookie dough while she’s not looking 56. waiting for: Mom to walk away from the bowl of cookie dough 57. want: to eat cookie dough. But, all half-joking aside, I want to make real, positive change in the world. After eating this cookie dough. 58. get married: Maybe someday, yeah, I guess. 59. career: If I live that long Politician or teacher. I’m kind of undecided WHICH IS BETTER 60. hugs or kisses: Hugs 61. lips or eyes: Eyes 62. shorter or taller: Shorter would be nice, because then I would get to be the tall one, for once. That never happens. Ever. 63. older or younger: I just realized this is in regards to dating and whatnot. I was sitting here stumped by what this question could mean for almost an entire minute before noticing the context. To answer, age doesn't matter as much as maturity. 64. nice arms or nice stomach: I don’t really notice either way. 65. hookup or relationship: Relationship, hands down. I’m way too ace for a hookup to be even slightly desirable. 66. troublemaker or hesitant: Depends on the type of trouble we’re talking about. HAVE YOU EVER: 67. kissed a stranger: Nope. 68. drank hard liquor: Outside of that Christmas party, no. 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: All. The. Time. 70. turned someone down: Maybe? Unintentionally? There have been points where the guys insist that someone was flirting/asking me out, but I never noticed. 71. sex on the first date: See my answer to #65. 73. had your heart broken: No. Yes 74. been arrested: Several times. 75. cried when someone died: Absolutely. My dog, tons of celebrities, Ellie in Up the other day... 76. fallen for a friend: Absolutely not. Grantaire DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 77. yourself: Most of the time. 78. miracles: Not really. 79. love at first sight: No. Not at all. And people who think otherwise are kidding themselves and can quickly become a troublesome distraction (fucking Marius…) 80. santa claus: Not literally, of course, but as corny as it is, I think that the joy the mere idea of him brings to kids makes him real, in a way. There’s a magic surrounding Christmas that even I can’t resist. If something so rooted in Christianity and capitalism can still somehow be my favorite day of the year, that’s something pretty special. 81. kiss on the first date: I am not experienced enough in that regard to really know how I’d feel about it. 82. angels: Nope. OTHER: 84. eye colour: Some say they’re blue, others say they’re gray. I think it depends on the light. 85. favourite movie: Oh, man, movies are such a guilty pleasure for me and I like so many that are so different from each other that I don’t think I could pick. To Kill a Mockingbird is a classic, but my dorkier side loves Captain America: the First Avenger, but on the other hand, I really enjoy Disney movies, and I don’t want to leave those out, but then there are the Harry Potter movies, and that doesn’t even cover Christmas movies, and do you see my dilemma here?

#long post #about #ask meme

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wenamedthedogkylo · 7 years

Text

Eyyyy, sum tags bruh

Get to know me tag game!

Tagged by @betweenrivers-betweenworlds, thnx m8.

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20* people.

LAST:

1. Drink: Aqua, also known by plebs as “water”. 2. Phone call: Uh..... technically to Willa cause I think she was tryna find her phone. 3. Text message: A group text, in which I provided some amusing pictures. 4. Song you listened to: The chocobo theme from FFXV cause Willa’s playing it right now. 5. Time you cried: I genuinely have no clue. It was a while ago and I don’t cry easily. It was probably at a movie or something. Or maybe it was the cry I had after BatB...

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: HAH!! No. 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Yep. 8. Been cheated on: Lmao no 9. Lost someone special: Yeah, a couple. 10. Been depressed: Ahahahahahahaha! Literally 24/7. *finger guns* 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Of course, gotta do it at least once. I’ve done it more than once, so I’ve had my fill for life.

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14: Dark red, black, and dark purple

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: Yup. 16. Fallen out of love: Pfft, ain’t even fallen in love so no. 17. Laughed until you cried: Many times. 18. Found out someone was talking about you: Like... in a bad way? Not that I– wait, yes, my older sister talked trash about me to my parents cause she’s a butthurt immature crybaby who can’t have mature conversations to save her life. We all laughed about it. (By that, I mean my parents eye-rolled and sympathized with me and I cackled.) 19. Met someone who changed you: Mmmm... can’t say I have? 20. Found out who your friends are: Lmao I mean I already knew it. I don’t make friends easily, so once you’re a friend, that’s that. 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: HAH. Nope.

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: I mean, technically most of them? I knew them either from HS or college, or they’re family? There’s only a few that I’ve met online, and at least one of those that I’ve met online who I’ve subsequently met IRL. 23. Do you have any pets: 1 1/2 cats. 1 cat is fully mine, and I co-parent her brother. 24. Do you want to change your name: I think I’ve effectively done all the name flipping necessary to feel comfortable with it, so nah. 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: Um. That... that’s a good question. I think I just... maybe had good food and watched a movie? 26. What time did you wake up: Like 11:55 AM, just in time to get my computer open to start work XD. 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Playing the Sims and watching Parks & Rec. 28. Name something you can’t wait for: BLACK PANTHER! THOR: RAGNAROK!! STAR WARS!!! 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: Mmmmmm... I wanna say October? 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: I’d make myself very wealthy to solve literally every single problem I, my friends, and my parents have. 31. What are you listening to right now: The background music for Final Fantasy XV. 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yeah, my grade school principle was a Tom. 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: Capitalism, not having money for the things I need, and how hard it’s been for me to focus on/enjoy things lately because *Jean-Ralphio singing voice* ~even on medication, depression makes my life a walking nightmaaaaaaare!~ 34. Most visited website: Tumblr for sure.

RANDOM INFO:

35. Mole/s: A few all over. 36. Mark/s: Tons of scars, can’t really think of any birthmarks of note. 37. Childhood dream: Archaeologist, dinosaur hunter, historian, astronaut, pirate, queen of England... the list was long and unrealistic. 38. Hair color: Light blondish-brown naturally, purple by choice. 39. Long or short hair: Long as fuuuuuuck. 41. What do you like about yourself: My eyes are a cool color I guess, and my hair is usually really soft and smells good. 42. Piercings: 3 per ear, two on each lobe and one each in the cartilage. 43. Blood type: Literally never been tested so I have no clue. 44. Nickname: Bree is the most common that I usually use in place of my real given name, Briana. My dad used to call me Bubbles for reasons I still don’t know, some friends called me Breezy in HS. Right now the only other big one is Bryn (online only). 45. Relationship status: Single as fuuuuck. 46. Zodiac: Capricorn. 47. Pronouns: She/her and they/them (rarely he/his). 48. Favorite TV Show: Penny Dreadful, it’s the most beautiful show to grace the world ever in the history of everything. 49. Tattoos: None. 50. Right or left hand: Righty. 51. Surgery: I had to get stitches on my head when I was little. It’s a dumb story. 52. Hair dyed in different color: Hell yes! 53. Sport: Quidditch. On the computer. That’s it, I don’t like sports. 55. Vacation: I’d love to properly explore Europe, do some more putzing around the UK and actually visit France. 56. Pair of trainers: Uh, none right now. Like I said, I’m not a sporty, active type of person so if I don’t need ‘em, I don’t got ‘em. I prefer boots and like, Keds-type slip-on flats types of things.

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: Nothing healthy, I’ll tell you that much. I’m trying to restructure my diet and exercise rn to lose weight, but 100% honestly that just means I’m gonna get tall 2% S’mores Frappuccinos instead of grande regular (whole milk) ones. 58. Drinking: I’ve been making a conscious effort to drink way more water, especially cause the summer makes me even more dehydrated. 59. I’m about to: Probably play the Sims? Or rewatch Castlevania hehe. 61. Waiting for: MY FIRST COLORED CONTACTS TO GET HERE AL-FUCKING-READY SO I CAN TRY THEM OUT. 62. Want: Student loans paid, more money in my bank account, and my new work schedule to start already. 63. Get married: It would certainly be nice with the right person, but highly unrealistic. 64. Career: Well, I’d prefer to be a film actor already, but until I’m more financially stable, my current job is alright.

WHICH IS BETTER:

65. Hugs or kisses: Both are great, but honesty bomb warning, I’ve been pretty touch-starved my whole life thanks to social anxiety so I’m not used to either, especially kisses. Those tend to come more easily only when I’m drunk and there’s lots of people to kiss. 66. Lips or eyes: Eyes for sure. 67. Shorter or taller: I prefer taller, and in fact would love to be taller myself, but oh well. 68. Older or younger: Younger than me just really weirds me out, although Tom Holland makes me feel a way or two. Older actually feels way better, particularly in the 10-15 years range, but I also know that if just like 1 or 2 years younger feels weird to me, then 10-15 probably would feel too weird to them. So I’m just resigned to living alone for the rest of my days. 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Nice stomach, and with nice arms would be a bonus. 71. Sensitive or loud: If... if this is referring to sex, then I can’t tell ya as I’ve never done it. I would hazard a guess, just based on who I am, that I’d prefer sensitive? 72. Hook up or relationship: The very idea of a hookup repulses me and drives home how incredibly demisexual I am on top of everything else. 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Uh....???? I... I guess I’d prefer someone who’s more hesitant than troublemaking, because that means they think about their actions first?

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a Stranger: Yes, while highly intoxicated AND high AND in an environment where I felt safe, which was the only way that was ever gonna happen. 75. Drank hard liquor: Yeeeeeeeeup. 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: YES AND IT’S THE MOST OBNOXIOUS THING EVER ESPECIALLY WHEN THE SHRIVELED DRIED UP CONTACT SUDDENLY SHOWS UP ON YOUR FLOOR A FEW DAYS LATER. 77. Turned someone down: Yeah. 78. Sex on the first date: As stated earlier, never had sex, so no. And I never would unless I already knew the person a while before the date. 79. Broken someone’s heart: Not that I’m aware of. I’m not really heart-breaker material. 80. Had your heart broken: Mostly by myself with my insecurities. 81. Been arrested: No. 82. Cried when someone died: Of course. 83. Fallen for a friend: Yeah, on occasion. Usually briefly before slapping my shit brain for confusing platonic feelings for romantic ones and making me have a crisis. Fuck you, shit-brain, fuck you.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: Haaaaah, not really. I mean, sometimes? But depression makes that hard. 85. Miracles: I’d like to, but good things rarely happen to me so it’s hard to. 86. Love at first sight: I believe attraction at first sight can be unusually strong, but that should never be conflated with love. That takes time. 87. Santa Claus: Hahah no, my dad accidentally ruined that for me as a kid. 88. Kiss on the first date: If the date was bad, no, absolutely not. If it was okay and there’s some potential there, a kiss on the cheek seems appropriate. If it was great and there’s a lot of potential there, especially if you were friends already, sure go for it.

OTHER:

90. Current best friend name: Willa and Kelsey (I firmly reject the notion that you can only have one best friend and fuck all you ungrateful cunts who don’t love your friends or yourself enough to have more than one). 91. Eye color: Blue-gray 92. Favorite movie: I... I think it might be Phantom of the Opera? I dunno, that’s always a hard fucking question for me.

*Tagging less than 20 cause man I don’t have the focus to count up that many people: @nerfherding-smuggler, @peasantabuser, @aceofaces20, @mel0dyoftears, @hawkeyepancakes, @girl-in-the-coat, @jo-version-2point0, @thegreaterfool, @bimgnusbane, @radioactive-spacemen.

And of course, it’s totally optional. And if you wanna do it but aren’t tagged, well now you’re tagged, go nuts buddy.

#Bree's stuff #about me #about Bree

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flying-weirdo · 7 years

Note

Hey, same anon from before, by "1-45" i meant all the questions lol, im such a creep but i really love you and you're blog :))

Ah shit, sorry anon! But thank you for asking and for the compliment! Glad someone enjoys the mess that is this blog.

[the ask meme]

1: What’s the most annoying thing about your best friend/s?

[answered]

Hmm, I started spending a lot more time alone ever since highschool started and now I feel like they would judge me for every tiny thing that I do but I guess that’s more my fault.

2: Least favorite TV shows anime? [since I mostly watch anime]

[answered]

I cannot stress enough how much I hated Elfen Lied because of how little sense it made. You have a great concept, interesting characters and then you throw a shithead of a protagonist in there and fuck everything up BIG TIME

3: Favorite moment with your best friend/s?

I started the year absolutely awful. First months were hell and I was feeling like the last shit on earth. And I just went out with my friends one night and I can’t express how relieved and happy I was, especially realizing that they actually missed me after not hanging out with them after a long time because of a health problem.

4: What’s one quality you would like to have?

I’d like to be smarted, prettier and draw better

5: Name three people of your same sex you would: marry,kiss and fuck

Since I am anime weeb shit

Marry: Uraraka [bnha]

Kiss: Himiko Toga [is this bad-it would be]

Fuck: Momo

6: Do you like your full name?

Yes, actually yes. Kind of weirs but I like it.

7: Tell me your most embarrasing memory

Oh god…

I went to a birthday party where I knew literally no one other than the one who invited me. So I tried to introduce myself to some of the people, maybe start talking to some and I can tell you there was especially one awkward introduction where neither of us knew what to do, it was awful… Not to mention that the whole night I stayed on a chair and talked with friends or stayed on tumblr while everyone was dancing…

Ugggghhhhhh

8: Favorite color to wear?

[answered]

Black, blue and gray

9: Favorite restaurant?

I honestly rate restaurants based on how good the pasta is there and so far there is a restaurant in the capital of my country called Capri that have absolutely amazing past

10: What would be a good first date for you?

Hmmm hard to tell. Probably going to a cafe and talking about random stuff then going for a walk

11: Are you a good wrestler?

…probably not…

12: Are you allergic to something?

Nope. I used to be allergic to dust when I was little

13: Would you be a good singer?

I am absolute shit at singing

14: Who’s the last person you told “I love you” to?

My mom

15: What car would you buy if you had enough money?

Pffft I have no idea. I like my parents’ one

16: Favorite cover of a song?

Panick at the disco - Bohemian rhapsody

17: What was your last conversation about?

Eragon [the books]

18: Where were you born?

In the small city I still live in, in a weird country called Romania

19: Least favorite app?

the ones that crash after getting them lol

20: Tell me two facts about your country of birth

They made a contest asking people to design the logo of our capital. The first to logos have been found to be stolen.

The capital used to be called “Little Paris”

Extra fun fact: Best mountains

21: Do you like wearing sunglasses?

Yes, sometimes but I don’t currently own any

22: When it’s a good moment for a first kiss?

After deciding you want to be a in a relationship with that person

23: What are your nationalities?

I’m just… romanian

24: What would make you drop college/university?

Realizing that I made a mistake taking that course

25: A crossover between two shows (any shows) you would like to see?

[answered]

Oooh I really have no idea. Honestly Boku no hero academia and the world of Eragon [books] are somewhat similar in some aspects and I’ve been wanting to draw a crossover AU for those 2 for some time now.

26: Long or short hair?

Just as crazy as possible

27:A character from a book/TV show/movie that shouldn’t have died?

ISLANZADY FROM ERAGON, NOPE, BRING HER BACK

28: Favorite movie scene?

Deadpool - the last scene when he starts playing WHAM

29:Do you ship more fiction people or more real people?

I only ship fictional people, shipping real people is kind of weird for me

30: Favorite country song?

Bo Burnham - Country song

31: Favorite John Green book?

None

32: Least favorite Ed Sheeran song?

Thinking out loud

33: Favorite ship?

KiriBaku

34: How do you deal with sexual tension?

35: Name a celebrity who died that you miss

I wasn’t even born when he died but o boy would I have loved to see Freddie Mercury alive

36: Favorite Harry Potter spell?

Haven’t seen the movies, didn’t read the books

37: Something you are scared of losing?

My cat

38: Someone you regret meeting?

One or 2 of my classmates

39: Have you ever been hurt by someone you thought he/she was your friend?

No, not really

40: Do you easily open up to people?

Not quite

41: What is a gift you love receiving?

All the manga volumes of BnHA [which might come true] or the whole Inheritance Cycle [Eragon]

42: What is something you could leave easily?

Highschool

43: Rant about that’s eating you up

……Endeavour…….. and how I feel like I have no time to live my teenagehood

44: If you could make one phone call to anyone right now, who would it be and what would you say?

one friend and we would just talk garbage about random stuff

45:Are you easy to love?

[answered]

Not at all. I don’t want to get involved in any kind of relationship since I will probably move from where I live now and I need to focus on studying and school right now and a relationship would take too much time so I’m just staying away from things like that thought having a crush or someone to love might be nice…

And I’m a total weirdo with a constant need of validation on top of that so nope,not really easy to love

#answered #anon #ask meme

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yeolkisses · 7 years

Text

Enyu's Get To Know Me Tag

Tagged by: @kimjongdaely ❤️

*are you named after someone? — A Disney princess

*when was the last time you cried? — I don’t remember but it was probably like a month ago lol

*do you like your handwriting? — If I can read it, then it’s fine

*what’s your favorite lunch meat? —beef I guess

*do you have kids? — I have a bonsai tree named Oliver, some cats, a pig and a dog, but...

*if you were another person, would you be friends with you? — Most of me says heck no because I know I’m a pain to put up with once you get to know me but the other part says yes, I would be my friend because I know that I get lonely

*do you use sarcasm? — I’d like to say I don’t use it too often but pretty sure that’d be lying

*do you still have your tonsils? — Yup. But my brother doesn’t.

*what is your favorite type of cereal? — If I have to eat cereal, then Cinnamon Toast Crunch

*do you untie your shoes when you take them off? — I don’t untie my PE shoes because I’m too lazy to tie them every day and I already take too long to change clothes. But I always untie my Vans

*do you think you’re a strong person? — Physically, I guess. Mentally? Probably not.

*what’s your favorite ice cream flavor? — Chocolate, Rocky Road, or something Ben and Jerry’s

*what’s the first thing you notice about people? — It depends, I guess. Most people have some sort of defining feature that stands out for them, it’s kind of different for every person I see.

*red or pink? — Pink but I look better in reds

*what’s your least favorite physical thing about yourself? — everything. acne scars, legs, stomach, the list goes on…

*what color of pants and shoes are you wearing right now? — Blue basketball shorts, no shoes because I’m in bed and wearing shoes to bed seems like a bad idea

*what was the last thing you ate? — food Steak and rice.

*what are you listening to right now? — Nothing

*if you were a crayon, what color would you be? — I’d want to be on of those really obnoxiously named ones, like Tropical Watermelon Burst, I don’t know. Just something with an annoying name, the color itself doesn’t really matter.

*favorite smell? — Probably sugar cookies. Or lemons.

*who was the last person you talked to on the phone? — Like on the phone on the phone? Um…I think it was my dad. Last person I texted was one of my friends

*favorite sport to watch? — I hate even the idea of physical anything. hair color? — People say it’s black but it’s really just dark brown. And I have blue highlights.

*eye color? — Dark brown (again, some people are convinced they’re black)

*do you wear contacts? — Nope. That’d freak me out, putting somehting on my eye

*favorite food? — Too hard to choose just one

*scary movies or comedies? — Is like to sound all cool and say horror, but that’d be a huge lie.

*last movie you watched? — Honestly don’t remember.

*what color of shirt are you wearing? — Dark gray, I suppose

*summer or winter? — Winter, even though I was born in summer

*hugs or kisses? — Would probably take either at this point, depending on who they were from.

*what book are you currently reading? — A List of Cages. And so far I hate it. I should start reading the third Red Queen book, but I haven’t gotten around to starting it yet.

*who do you miss right now? — No one, I don’t think…

*what’s on your mouse pad? — Don’t have one

*what was the last tv program you watched? — Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It’s honestly gotten really lame at this point but it’s all my brother watches anymore.

*what is the best sound? — Silence is pleasant, but Chanyeol’s voice makes me want to cry happy tears sometimes so…

*rolling stones or the beatles? — Neither, really.

*where is the farthest you’ve ever travelled? — I’ve been to Washington (state), Oregon, and California. (So my longest travel was a trip through three states. Whoop de doo)

*do you have a special talent? — Nothing special.

*where were you born? — Pretty sure it was Bothell…somewhere in Washington (state, not the capital)

I’ll tag @xiustories , @exosmutxoxo or @syonablogs , it’s your choice, @nunchiwrites , @catou1305 , @exosmuttytalk , @phangirlof, and anyone else who wants to do this!

#tagged #nobody can even begin to comprehend the excitement I get from being tagged in something #it makes me feel so fluffy and amazing

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taizi · 7 years

Note

*skids in to your ask box at the speed of light upon reading you want prompts* !!! I am so on board with this! Is there anyway you could try Nishimura and Kitamura finding out Natsume can see yokai and just being amazing bros? Or the Fujiwara's for the same thing? Natsume deserves all the love! Thank you very much if you choose to write this. I can't wait to see you in the Natsuyuu fandom more!!!!

It starts with the piece of paper Nishimura finds on the floor. He pauses right before he might have stepped on it, and stoops to pick it up instead.

It’s a pencil drawing, a circle with odd lines and symbols clustered around the edges and what looks like an open eye in the middle. There’s some notes scribbled out to one side of the drawing, and Nishimura blinks. Turns the paper over in his hands and blinks at it some more.

Kitamoto sounds long-suffering when he says, “What are you doing?”

“I found something cool. Can I keep this?”

“No. Someone might come looking for it,” his friend says without missing a beat. “Quit just taking stuff you find.”

“Ugh, come on, I don’t do that.” Nishimura glances around for a moment, and his eyes light on the pen on Natsume’s desk. He leans over to snatch it up victoriously, and then stutters a little at the pointedly incredulous look on Kitamoto’s face. “Wha–Natsume doesn’t care!”

“Will you just–”

“Shh. I have to concentrate.”

The point of the pen is hard and dull as it drags across the palm of Nishimura’s hand, and each line it leaves feels sore on his skin. But it’s only the work of a minute or two, and Nishimura leans back to tuck the pen safely into Natsume’s bag when he’s finished.

“There,” he says, holding his hand up with a flourish. “Now I have my own cool circle and I don’t need this other one.” Nishimura turns to shoot his best friend his most winning smile, and a peace sign for good measure.

Kitamoto is giving him a Look, capital L, but all he says is, “Try putting half this much effort into your homework sometime. Your grades will be five times better, and I’ll finally stop hearing about all your failed cram school conquests.”

Nishimura puts the paper on the windowsill near the spot he found it, where hopefully its owner might come across it, and forgets about the whole thing in favor of chasing Kitamoto out of the room with an outraged squawk.

Lunch is nearly over when Natsume comes back into the classroom–he stops at the door to smile a soft goodbye at Tanuma, happy and with healthy color in his face. Nishimura leans forward on his desk, fingers curled eagerly around the diagram on his palm, and opens his mouth around the beginnings of Natsume’s name.

But he stops, as abruptly as slamming full-speed into a brick wall. And stares. And stares some more, because there’s no way he’s seeing this right.

There’s something on Natsume’s back.

Natsume doesn’t seem to notice, making his way calmly across the room. There’s–it has emaciated, ash-gray arms wrapped around Natsume’s neck and shoulders, a dark head of long, tangled hair–

No one else sees it? No one?

Gnarled hands are so close to Natsume’s throat, dirty fingernails scraping against his collarbone, and he greets Nishimura in the same quiet way he always does, stopping beside his own desk to shove a handful of papers into his bag.

The thing on his back turns its head, very slowly, and Nishimura doesn’t know how its seeing past all that hair, but he knows its looking at him. He knows it is. And it clings to Natsume that much tighter, like algae, hair curling around Natsume’s forearms like limp bracken at the edge of a pond, and Nishimura shoots to his feet.

His chair clatters back, and only a few people turn to look at him before turning away again because when isn’t he doing weird stuff, but this is different, this is Natsume, and there’s something on his back.

“Natsume, just–hold–hold still, okay?”

How is he supposed to get rid of it? It’s staring at him again from that sightless face, chilling him straight to the bone, and Nishimura would be the happiest ever if he could just cover his eyes for the rest of the school day and pretend its not there, but it–but Natsume–

“Get off him,” Nishimura demands and his voice comes out stronger than he thought it would. He’s weak with terror but he stands his ground; stomping down every insistent shred of self preservation and common sense in his brain urging him to back away, and glares at the dark thing hanging off his friend’s shoulders instead. His hands are shaking. “Don’t–don’t you dare hurt him. Or I’ll–I’ll–I’ll call an exorcist! Don’t even try me!”

Then he hears Natsume saying his name, in the tone of voice of someone who’s been saying his name over and over. Gentle fingers nudge Nishimura’s face gently a few inches to the left.

Natsume’s amber eyes are stunned, deeper and darker and brighter than Nishimura has ever seen before. There’s something stark in his expression that isn’t quite wonder, and isn’t quite fear, and isn’t quite hope.

The teacher is coming back into the room, and everyone else is settling into their seats, so Natsume takes a step back and lets him go.

But his fingers were warm, and his voice is kind even for all its caution when he says, “It’s okay. She won’t hurt you.”

He sounds so certain, so sure, that the leaping panic in Nishimura’s chest recedes into something less painful. The thing on Natsume’s back curls in a little closer, a little tighter, tapered fingers finding firm footholds in Natsume’s uniform jacket. And Nishimura blinks at the two of them.

Nods once. Falls back into his seat with a thump that hurts a little.

Natsume turns his chair sideways before he sits down, putting the backrest toward the window. The thing on his back stays there, bunched up against his spine, as though Natsume’s body heat and heartbeat are a precious balm that soothes and soothes.

Nishimura holds out his hand, palm up. The copied circle sits proudly between the two of them, followed by a thick, heavy silence.

Natsume, when Nishimura risks a glance at him, looks like he isn’t sure whether to laugh or cry.

“Maybe don’t draw strange symbols that you find thrown away on your body,” he finally says, with a pinch of reluctant good humor that does wonders for the overall mood. Nishimura can feel his heart getting lighter with just at a peek of that recalcitrant smile on his friend’s pale face. “Or–anywhere else. Ever again. Okay?”

“Okay.” That sounds like solid advice.

“At least I can tell Taki her new diagram worked. Make sure you wash it off when you get home.”

The thing from Natsume’s back is tucked into his arms now, little more than a bundle of torn yukata and bramble-like black hair. They’re walking together, slow, the long way back to Natsume’s house, and Nishimura can’t keep his eyes off the thing for more than a few seconds at a time.

“So,” he finally says, waving his unmarked hand vaguely. “What is–”

“Her name is Yumemi,” Natsume says. “She drowned. She’s just a little lonely. I promise she won’t hurt you.”

It takes Nishimura a moment to swallow that. Natsume doesn’t seem to mind the quiet, hefting Yumemi up in his thin, strong arms, a little closer to his heart. Nishimura watches them both, fingers curled around the ink on his hand, and starts running a mental race.

The first time he saw Natsume outside of school, walking home with Kitamoto, Natsume was running through the forest with all the desperation of someone in real danger.

A few months later, in their classroom at the end of the day, Natsume had choked mid-word and scrambled against his throat at nothing, face flushing a dusky red as though he really couldn’t breathe–he seemed to come up off the ground, even, as though an invisible hand had yanked him off his feet.

He got hurt at the cultural fair two weeks ago, and again at the inn Tanuma’s relatives owned, and trouble seems to follow him everywhere he goes, with every step he takes.

And maybe, Nishimura sort of always figured there was more to it than just bad luck. No one as nice as Natsume could have that much karma stacked against them. Ghosts and monsters, on the other hand?

“That makes sense,” Nishimura says, realization dawning. Natsume looks at him sideways. “Sorry, I was just–thinking.”

“Don’t hurt yourself,” Natsume says dryly, then abruptly looks mortified at himself. But–um, wow? Nishimura grins at him, delighted. Who knew Natsume was sarcastic under all that soft and sweet? Kitamoto isn’t going to believe this.

“Man, you’re really in your element right now, huh?” Nishimura says, unable to help teasing–especially when Natsume’s face turns pink. “There’s like, this whole new side to you I never knew about. A sassy alter-ego. Incredible.”

Natsume doesn’t have any hands free to hide his face, so his flush is free for the world to see, and he snaps, “How does Kitamoto put up with you?” but there’s no heat to it. Nishimura throws an arm around him, beaming, and looks down a little at where he imagines Yumemi’s eyes might be lurking beneath all that hair.

“Sorry I was mean to you earlier,” he says ruefully, trying not to think too hard about a drowned girl leeching comfort and warmth off of a kind human boy. It’s really not the time or place to start crying, really, and Nishimura knows he totally will later–when he’s alone in his room ignoring his phone and his family and his homework, digesting all the wild events of this afternoon. “But not everybody’s nice to this guy, you know? Gotta look out for him when I can.”

Natsume almost trips, and maybe he would have if Nishimura didn’t have a grip on his shoulders. But he does, and his fingers fold tight into the back of Natsume’s shirt, and he holds on the whole way home.

Yumemi looks like she understands. Her eyes, when she waves goodbye to him at Natsume’s door, are a very pretty blue.

“Satoru,” his mother calls up the stairs, “dinner is ready!”

“I’ll be right down!” Nishimura yells back through his bedroom door, but he doesn’t rush.

Slowly, painstakingly, he finishes tracing over the fading ink on his hand with a brand new ballpoint pen he bought from the convenience store before he got home. Examining his palm with a critical eye, Nishimura decides the circle looks a little better this time, the lines less shaky and the symbols more certain.

Nishimura blows on it until it dries, then pushes away from his desk and thumps down the stairs to join his family at the table.

#natsume yuujinchou #natsume takashi #nishimura satoru #my writing #prompt #nishi is taking over my life you guys pls send help #clarrolx #natsuyuu #full circle #natsuyuu fic

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swampgallows · 7 years

Text

i had a horrible dream that two of my exes (qp/zuke and bf) were going to some anime con that nate was playing but i was just attending, and then i find out that both of them are on the bill to play. only one of my exes is a dj irl and we’re on okay terms but in my dream i saw him kissing a small, cute girl

it started with my ex qp arriving at my (old) house (all shitty dreams are in my old house it seems) trying ot tell me that he had changed, that he had become a different person because he discovered dancing, or something like that. he said he danced during basketball games, like that was his gig now, and through dancing he got sight of what really matters, some shit like that. there was a well-built woman leaning against the wall as he spoke. she was white but her skin was really tanned, like she was outdoors a lot, and her feet were almost copper color. i thought she was his new girlfriend, maybe, but the way he was following me around my old bedroom made me think he was trying to “patch things up”.

i couldn’t look at him the whole time. he kept saying things about how he doesn’t want to get famous, like be a famous dancer, he just dances. it’s just what he does. and i couldnt quite understand exactly what his “dancing” was? like he’d do dances after teams scored points or something. it sounded like the behavior of a four year old. “i’m not doing it for fame, but...” dude like you could become famous for this? standing around and doing a little dance like a toddler is your great, renowned art? it didnt make sense to me.

but apparently he took on a new name. his name was now “michael smith” but his act was “MICHAEL LEON”. in capital letters just like that. and he told me some sob story about how he’s “living with his dad now but just focuses on his art” and his dad’s name was like simone or something

i finally get the courage to say something because there’s this awkward silence. he keeps handing me things that are maybe gifts, i dunno. i remember one of them is this sketchbook or journal that he hands me, and i am so irate i almost snatch it from him, which ends up tearing the back of the leather cover. “oh... i didnt mean to do that. is it ruined?” “Oh no it’s fine, it’s... well, it has some scratches, but that’s... that’s okay... i hope you’ll keep it because i can’t take it back now.” “it’s not handmade or anything is it? because at my work we were selling some italian leather-bound journals embossed with angels and demons and they were eighty dollars. I thought about getting it because it looked cool but I couldn’t spend that much on a blank book.” [This is true. And they actually were eighty dollars.]

finally i turn to him and im trying to remember exactly what i said, what the verbiage was, i was cornered in the room that was my old ‘den’, and i said something like

“the pain you gave me / the way you hurt me was irreconcilable/irredeemable” (i used some ir-word but i felt like it was more in the middle of the sentence.) i looked at him with tears in my eyes, and he wouldnt go away, so i crawled into the bottom half of a bunkbed (we used to have one, not in that room. details) until he crawled in with me, trying to put his arms around me and soothe me. i started to cry very hard and muscled my way out of the bed and stormed off. the day ended.

it was a new day and nate and i were heading toward the “convention”. im walking down a long raised corridor with my buddy nate and telling him about all this shit and feeling pretty confident about how i didnt accept his “changed man” bullshit, that for how much he hurt me and what he put me through was nothing i was feeling capable of forgiving him for. we’re suddenly quite high and looking down at the event, and nate tries to not to tell me the bad news, that both of these exes are set to be on stage, performing, and i get a weird jealousy that “MICHAEL LEON” and his shitty singing and baby-dancing is on the bill and not me. he shouldnt even be at the event. i become overwhelmed with emotion and try to turn back, and nathan shouts at me not to go that way, or “let’s try to get out of here a different way”, because as i’m storming off i almost bump into the old zuke and see him deeply kissing a girl. i strafe away, wiping tears from my eyes, and not even a few paces later see my ex boyfriend doing the same. i went into what looked like a casino and then had a layout of some stripped-looking naxxramas.

i killed some dinosaur “mother” whose baby had been killed by a raid party by dropping a heavy, cold can of frozen juice on her head. i saw the achievement appear at the bottom. i had remembered what it was called but i forgot it now. i think it was something like “natural selection”. my brain is an idiot

illidan was further inside the ‘naxxramas’ (it looked a lot more like a very dark version of dire maul with dark gray stone actually but i “understood” it in my dream to be naxx) and i wanted to talk to him about what had happened, as i had cleared the mobs (i guess?) and was still feeling emotionally distraught. he was demon hunter illidan with horns and claws but not the big wings, and more blue than lavender. he was up high on a ledge but i think he was hostile and that was what deterred me from going up to him.

i think that’s where the dream dropped off. but my ex-qp trying to reconnect with me and ask forgiveness and whatever really fucking hurt me and pissed me off. and the “MICHAEL LEON” shit. he performed like neutral milk hotel-sounding stuff, which i’m not a fan of at all but our friend loves it and he used to give him shit about it. and our friend is named michael so im like dude wtf you took his name and his style of music and youre like “oh i’m the person im supposed to be now, i found myself, i’m a better person” no dude you just grafted the personality of our tender and talented friend onto yourself, FUCK OFF

for a moment in my dream i almost felt bad when he was telling me about his shitty dad who he’d call up on the phone to talk about his accomplishments and would have them just panned/passed off. but i was like dude, this guy fucking didnt even apologize to me in the dream, he didnt beg for me back or anything even, if anything, he came to GLOAT about himself like he always did. LOOK AT ME, LOOK WHAT IM DOING NOW, ARENT I GREAT? YOU SHOULD PRAISE ME FOR BEING SO GREAT man FUCK OFF you fucking piece of shit, even in my dreams youre a fucking asshole. if he really meant it, he would apologize, he would be on his fucking knees so weighed down by guilt and sympathy “how could i have put you through that” “i can never undo what i did” “i am sorry for withholding affection from you and toying with your feelings and openly being a conceited selfish horny dick with other girls directly in front of you, cheating on you right in front of your face but using bullshit lines about ‘exclusivity’ so i could take advantage of you while being entirely non-committed, so i could use you and keep you in line to have you when i wanted you but also not owe you anything” FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK MY SHITTY VIVID-ASS DREAMS

#dreams #blathering

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mysideblogofsurveys · 4 years

Text

Survey 9.

What would you call your body type? Petite

Are you a morning person? Definitely. I love getting up early! Although I am not a “morning people person”. I get up early to get stuff done but I don’t really wanna talk to anyone

Have you ever been to Target? Who hasn’t? Although I haven’t been to one in a while

Do you like iced tea? Only unsweetened

When is the next time you’ll be at work? Tomorrow

Do you have a savings account? Yes I do

Has anyone ever hacked your accounts before? As far as I know, no

What color bedsheets are currently on your bed? We are not color coordinated at ALL so we have black, blue, purple, white, green..we have a bunch of different blankets lol

Have you ever been to Disney World? If so, how many times have you been? Even though I live in FL, I’ve only been to Disney World once (when I was 12)

Does grammar and capitalization mean anything to you? Yes, I’m very picky about it ><

Are you good at wrapping gifts for others? No, but I wrap them anyway :)

Do you have a dirty clothes hamper in your room? Yes, I definitely use one. My husband on the other hand, prefers to use the floor.

What would you say is your favorite television show? I don’t have one in particular but I like a lot of different ones

Do you enjoy big holiday dinners? We used to when I was younger. Everyone is all spread out now so its hard to get everyone together but yeah I did

Is your vision good? No, I have contacts and glasses and I’m very blind without them ><

Is there any piece of jewelry you’re constantly wearing? Aside from my engagement and wedding ring, I wear most of the piercings I have (ears, belly button, nose and eyebrow every day. Although I do take out my nose and eyebrow rings for work)

What is one thing you desire as of now? To move back to the other side of the state

What kind of phone do you have? Samsung S9.

If you could move anywhere, where would you choose? I want to move back to the Gulf side of Florida so bad. We will probably be doing that at some point, but I wish we could just leave now.

Do you blog a lot, if at all? Ahh..yes and no. I do a lot of reblogging on my main blog but I don’t post a lot of things.

Is your present hair color, natural? For the most part. I have light brown hair but got blonde highlights for my wedding in Feb.

What makes you the most angry when it comes to people? When people won’t listen or refuse to see another perspective.

Describe your current outfit? Stranger Things PJ shirt, sports bra and seafoam green pj pants from my homestate and black socks with yellow lightening bolts. I don’t match at all lol

What was the last thing you ordered online? Digimon virtual pet because I’m a nerd and loved virtual pets as a kid lol

Have you ever felt as though you were drifting apart from a best friend? Oh yeah, we drifted apart so much that we lost touch a few years ago :/

What color are your eyes? Brown.

Have you ever worn color contacts? Nope.

What’s the best thing about a hug? When they’re genuine, it makes you feel secure

Biggest fear? Failure

If you have a significant other, how long have you been together? We’ve been together for 10 years, married for 4 months

Do you know any genuinely friendly people? Yeah, I know a lot of them

Do you buy your friends gifts? No, I’m a horrible gift giver :/

What was the last thing you plugged in? My phone this morning

How old are you? 32

What color headphones do you own? I’m using a gray pair right now

Have you ever shopped at Urban Outfitters? Yeah but they never had anything that fit me

Where do you buy the majority of your clothing? Online. They don’t sell any cool clothes for women in regular stores (I wear a lot of video game or anime shirts..which probably doesn’t help me look my age lol)

Would you rather wear necklaces or earrings? Ah, I’m not sure. I only wear 1 necklace that my husband bought me but I wouldn’t wear any others. Same with earrings, I don’t wear a lot aside from the ones that I’m currently wearing.

Do you consider yourself fortunate? Yes, I do.

Do you enjoy watching fights? ONLY boxing, MMA/UFC, and that type of thing. I do not like watching any other fights or arguments.

Have you ever been in a physical fight? No

Do you tend to talk badly about people? Only when they’re being mean to me.

Where are your parents as of now? I dont know, probably at home

Does your computer cooperate most of the time? Generally, yes

Does your family have any cheesy traditions? Not really but I definitely want to create some when I have kids.

When did you last go to a book store? I specifically remember going to Barnes and Noble sometime in November (2019) because I bought books 10 and 11 of Wheel of Time AND we found an Advent Calendar (I was really excited about it because we wanted one the year before but they were all sold out on Dec 1st. like, I remember that specifically lol.

What’s the closest book store where you live? Super close, like 10 min away

How much money do you have on you right now? I’m not sure, like $20?

Favorite physical feature? My eyes I guess

Are you wearing make up at the moment? Whatever is leftover after washing my face when I got home from work (I only wear eyeliner and mascara anyway)

Favorite television channel? I don’t have regular TV or cable. I use either Netflix or Hulu (or Funimation for anime).

Describe any piercings or tattoos you might have? I have 4 tattoos (a heart on each ankle and a nautical star on each hip). Currently, I only have my bellybutton, nose, eyebrow pierced as well as my ears (conch, rook, industrial, and tragus). I had my lobes pierced (4 holes up, 8 holes total) but those are pretty much closed.

Have you ever been fired from a job? No, I’ve always quit

Are you currently losing a best friend? I lost mine a long time ago (I mean, I have my husband but that isn’t the same as having a female best friend)

Describe the worst day of your life: I’m thankful I haven’t had anything extremely bad. I’ve had a lot of bad days but nothing that has been the worst.

Do you play any video games? Oh yes, we play a lot of video games.

Would you say you hate anyone? No

Do you think freckles are cute? Yeah

Last time you went to the mall? Couple months ago

Name something that’s your favorite color: Ahh...the galaxy. I love the blues, greens, purples of the galaxy

Have you been to Red Lobster before? Yes, but it has been a very long time!

Do you judge by appearances? I try not to. You can never fully judge someone just on looks.

Do you follow a certain religion? No, I’m kind of agnostic I guess.

Who is your role model, if you had to choose? I don’t really have one

Would you rather have nice hair or lips? Hair

What are you most self conscious about? My teeth. They’re not bad but I just don’t like them.

Do you have any family members who live out of town? All of them. We’re the only ones that live here (my in-laws live on the other side of the state but they’re snowbirds - here for 6 months then back in our homestate for 6 months)

Do you consider yourself short? Yes, I’m about 5 ft.

What room are you in? The living area.

Hoodies or jackets? Don’t really have a use for them in FL but hoodies I guess.

Are you outside a lot? Not really, its Summer and getting hot.

Have you ever been dumped via text message? UGH yes, on AIM/AOL Online TWICE! It sucked but I was only dating those two guys for a month so it wasn’t that big of deal. Plus this was like 15 years ago lol

Do you like dreamcatchers? Eh

What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? I don’t like any one letter over another

Do you hate repetitive people and things? It depends

Do you think autocorrect is a blessing or curse? Ah, it depends on my mood lol sometimes its funny but when I’m mad, I don’t want to say “ducking”

Do you believe in any particular curses? No.

Ever play a Ouija board? No

What movie scares you the most? Any horror movies, I don’t like them

What was your bedtime as a child? I’m not sure, it obviously changed as I got older

Reason why your favorite holiday is your favorite: I like New Years, I just like the feeling of starting a new year (or even the start of the month for that matter.)

Do you work with any close friends? No. Everyone I work with are nice but I don’t have anything in common with them.

Do you consider yourself spoiled? Maybe a little but I spoil myself.

Do you listen to any country music? Not at all

Favorite high school teacher: I liked Mr. Peterson, I honestly forgot what he taught but he was hilarious

Do you ever get drunk? Not as much anymore (I don’t handle hangovers as well anymore as I did when I was younger lol) but I still have a drink occasionally

Have you ever had highlights before? Yes, I have them now. Although they’re growing out

Favorite number: 4.

Do you still sleep with any stuffed animals? No

What is your biggest regret in life? Not knowing what I wanted to do when I was younger. I have a career but I’m iffy about it. I wish I had a passion or something I really wanted to do for a living.

Would you say you think you have a mental disorder of some kind? I have some stupid sort of social anxiety. I never used to be like this so I don’t know how it developed. I just get nervous talking with people.

Are you normally an independent person? Yes I am

Do you have any paintings? No, our walls are bare because I don’t want to put holes in an apartment wall. When we get a house, I will definitely be putting up something.

What is one clothing fad you wish never existed? Ah, I’m not sure. Maybe shirts with ridiculous shoulder pads from the 80s? lol

Do you like to be organized? Oh yeah, I like my things in a specific order

Have you ever failed a class before? No.

Ever been judged because of your weight? Not really

What is your favorite breakfast cereal? I haven’t had cereal in a long time...I want to maybe say Count Chocula! Do they even make that anymore?

Ever had a wish come true? Yeah.

Do you regret meeting any of your exes? No, before my husband I my relationships only lasted like a month so meh

Do you own any coloring books? No

What’s the meanest thing someone’s called you? Just stupid things like “shorty” or “shrimp”. But I’ve also been called a bitch in an argument

Have you ever bullied someone? No.

Do you ever watch Lifetime? No

Ever tried to intentionally sabotage someone’s grade? No.

Do you own any brown clothing? I’m sure I do

What color are your walls painted? They’re like a cream color

Last thing you drank: Water at work

Have you ever seen a tornado in person? No, that would be terrifying!

Do you have an in-ground pool at your house? I do at the apartment I live in (but we dont’ use it). We also had one growing up

What is the first digit of your phone number? 6

What’s the prettiest town you’ve been to? UGH, the city I lived in a year ago :/

Do you tend to sleep a lot? Not really. I actually get about 6 to 7 hours and I function just fine

Silver or gold jewelry? White gold I guess?

Do you sometimes celebrate holidays early? We did sometimes when I was younger. Like spend Thanksgiving a week early with my Mom’s side of the family then actually on Thanksgiving with my Dads or vice versa

Have you ever been in love? Yeah :)

What’s the best gift you’ve ever received? I’m not sure

When was the last time you showered? This morning

Would you consider yourself attractive? I’m okay, not too bad

Has anyone made you mad today? Not really mad, but I got annoyed with one of my co-workers earlier.

Favorite smell: Rain, coffee

Are you afraid of insects? Ah, I find them fascinating, actually. But doesn’t mean I want to be next to them!

Do you have any children? No :/

If so, what are their names? Would ever consider having children in the future? Absolutely! I was actually hoping to have them by now but we’re still trying to find somewhere to settle down. I want to be sure we have a stable home (we’ve moved around a lot) and financially stable before we have them.

Have you ever lived on a farm? No but I LOVE farming games lol (like Harvest Moon and Stardew Valley)

Ever played any sports? I played baseball and soccer in middle school and I was in Track in high school

Do both of your parents have jobs? Yes

Where is the last place you’ve been on vacation? We went on a cruise to Nassau and Bahamas immediately after getting married in Feb.

Are you afraid people won’t accept you? Um, not really that they won’t accept me but I’m worried I’ll get bored with someone and push them away.

Are you, for the most part, an honest person? Yes, I am

Did you make prank phone calls as a child? No, some friends of mine did as a kid though and I hated when they did it :/

Do you like to make donations? It depends. As long as whatever I’m donating is actually going to the person/organization/charity, then yes.

What is your current ringtone? It is a cover of “However/Glay” by Jinho from Pentagon (a kpop group). I LOVE this song and can’t get enough of it. I also love Jinho’s voice.

Meet anyone from your past lately? No, it would be very weird to run into anyone I previously knew from my hometown in my current city.

Have you ever called a teen suicide line? No.

Have you ever caught something on fire? LOL wellllllll not on fire BUT I accidentally singe’d/scorched my brother’s stuffed animal by leaving it sitting on the bedside lamp when I was maybe like 7? OH man, my Mom yelled at me and I’m extremely thankful I didn’t set the house on fire!!! It had scorched marks on it ><

Ever been obsessed with a show? OH yeah, I binged My Hero Academia recently and 90 Day Fiance...I typically binge shows lol

What type of perfume or cologne do you use? I dont’ wear any

What’s the last book you read? I’m currently reading “Legends of the Älfar” by Markus Heitz. They’re basically the evil version of Elves. I’m not sure if I’d recommend it because its kinda...well..they’re not good creatures lol BUT I would 100% recommend “The Dwarves” also written by Markus Heitz. Its SO GOOD!

Dream career: I honestly have no idea. I wish I knew.

Have you ever climbed a mountain before? Yes! We used to live in Washington (state), so we’d go hike around Mt. Rainer occasionally. It was beautiful there (so green!) and I do miss living there sometimes.

At what age do you plan to get married? We got married 4 months ago.

Ever been in a car accident? Yeah but only fender-benders.

#survey #surveys #questionnaire #about me

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recentnews18-blog · 5 years

Photo

New Post has been published on https://shovelnews.com/this-funny-week-in-funny-tweets-november-16-2018/

This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: November 16, 2018

By Vish Khanna

Published Nov 16, 2018

Matt O’Brien drinks 7Up cake, the Notorious R.B.G. barely takes a break, it’s time to hear the man-eating shark’s take, it’s a good thing app developers don’t bake and much more from this week in funny tweets. November 10

When you’ve been fucking around all day and mom asks how far along you are with your homework pic.twitter.com/DisQQsp8Wg

— Ken Klippenstein (@kenklippenstein) November 10, 2018

People died in a fire and he’s on the side of the fire https://t.co/w78sGqak6O

— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) November 10, 2018

What @realDonaldTrump‘s afraid of: 1. Putin 2. Mueller 3. Rain

The President cancelled his visit to an American cemetery in France to mark 100 years since WWI. Even if the helicopters couldn’t fly, he could’ve driven. He must just be afraid of a little rain.

— Chuck Schumer (@SenSchumer) November 11, 2018

Ruth Bader Ginsburg got back to work 1 day after breaking 3 ribs.

Donald Trump didn’t go to work today because it was raining.

— YS (@NYinLA2121) November 10, 2018

Hi, Satan! I’m an ER doc. If you add up every gummy bear, cue ball, or copy of your shitty books Ive pulled out of orifices, it doesnt even approach the number of moms Ive had to tell their kids are dead from guns. Stick w/the xenophobia+racism youre so good at and GTFO our lane. https://t.co/HaAH2ZNXhR

— Rick Pescatore, DO (@Rick_Pescatore) November 10, 2018

November 11

We do examine assholes all day so it does make us an expert on them. You qualify https://t.co/yRQTZnGqQr

— Cathleen London MD (@DrChaya) November 11, 2018

i found this on facebook and i am HOWLING I TELL YOU. HOWLING. pic.twitter.com/iznY4FFch0

— meeks (@mikawirth_) November 12, 2018

not a cell phone in sight. just people living in the moment. pic.twitter.com/Wf9QkWVLGZ

— king boo’s laugh (@bakertbh) November 11, 2018

When you work alone a lot.

pic.twitter.com/DPdkVC5B0i

— laney (@misslaneym) November 12, 2018

November 12

I figured it out! EVERY song on The Beatles White Album is about @realDonaldTrump pic.twitter.com/KtxVDuTvOz

— Just Tim Heidecker (@timheidecker) November 12, 2018

probably the biggest difference between app developers and bakers is that bakers don’t believe all government, infrastructure and social services should be replaced by baked goods

— thomas violence (@thomas_violence) November 13, 2018

A lovely tribute pic.twitter.com/tYvyhIdWAO

— Danny Gottleib (@dgottleib) November 12, 2018

November 13

Some of my friends are like “its hard making ends meet on only 70,000 dollars a year” and I’m like “I hope the government still has unmarked paupers graves so my nieces wont be burdened with the costs of burying me”

— Jennifer McAuliffe (@JenniferJokes) November 14, 2018

Another comedy show, another slew of male comics who say they’re afraid of commitment while wearing pants they’ve had since 9th grade

— Babs Gray (@BabsGray) November 13, 2018

this Juliette Lewis Instagram video is the only thing I want to talk about for the rest of the year pic.twitter.com/envJ3edbyf

— frank costa (@feistyfrank) November 13, 2018

Now That I, Jaws, Have A Combustible Air Tank In My Mouth And A Gun Pointed At Me, Will The Fishermen Put Partisanship Aside And Work Together? — MY COLUMN https://t.co/MrLrJ2qkoU

— Justin Halpern (@justin_halpern) November 13, 2018

November 14

my parents asked if I was safe in California and I sent them this picture pic.twitter.com/OZP3HHYMSb

— Matt O’Brien (@matt_obrien) November 14, 2018

Thanksgiving and Christmas should be six months apart. Absurd to see those people again so soon. Insane.

— Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) November 14, 2018

lead singers at dads leaving a a concert restaurant 🤝

“you guys ready to rock and roll?”

— joshy (@jxshadams) November 14, 2018

never related to anything more in my life pic.twitter.com/lVcBng1Q3j

— 🚁Sky Wob🚁 (@WorldWideWob) November 15, 2018

just in case you’re having a bad day, enjoy this video of my sister realizing that we don’t live inside the earth 💀 pic.twitter.com/oVYjFOH559

— SydSyd (@LoveMahalHappy) November 15, 2018

i can’t believe celine dion ended gender and made all babies goths. 2018 has been saved pic.twitter.com/37pzYQjQfb

— fiona 💞 (@neonfiona) November 15, 2018

Oh no! They discovered our vast conspiracy to take care of children and save the planet 😂 pic.twitter.com/XYWXmi3Xyk

— Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (@Ocasio2018) November 14, 2018

November 15

ten writing rules 1. find exactly the right place to sit 2. better get coffee also 3. turn off the internet we’re WRITING 4. but i have a question only the internet can answer 5. more coffee! 6. maybe i got an important email 7. how is the coffee shop closing 8. oh no

— Alexandra Petri (@petridishes) November 15, 2018

my last 4 brain cells when i need to be productive pic.twitter.com/f9nCsrNk4q

— gabi (@harleivy) November 16, 2018

The sign language interpreter doing the Brexit Agreement on BBC News is perfectly conveying the perplexing fuckery of this situation #Brexit #BrexitChaos pic.twitter.com/bA66SYMXqN

— Ell Potter (@Pottell) November 15, 2018

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez claims to hate capitalism and yet i count three capital letters in her very own name

— Ben Rosen (@ben_rosen) November 16, 2018

This should be a new loading screen. pic.twitter.com/Xo1zKPIPvB

— You Had One Job (@_youhadonejob1) November 15, 2018

November 16

The photo of House Republicans celebrating AHCA in the Rose Garden is turning into the “Layla” montage from “Goodfellas.”https://t.co/7VYRuRzcAZ

— Dave Weigel (@daveweigel) November 16, 2018

Losing Bill Goldman made me cry. My favorite book of all time is The Princess Bride. I was honored he allowed me to make it into a movie. I visited with him last Saturday. He was very weak but his mind still had the Goldman edge. I told him I loved him. He smiled & said fuck you.

— Rob Reiner (@robreiner) November 16, 2018

butch cassidy implies the existence of a femme cassidy

— blaine capatch (@blainecapatch) November 16, 2018

Source: http://exclaim.ca/comedy/article/this_funny_week_in_funny_tweets_november_16_2018

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