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sparetimeimagines · 3 years

Note

That was really interesting. Could you please make light yagami x reader smut with exhibitionist. I want light to embarassed hell out of me.

Attention | Light Yagami

Tags; Smut, Camera, Recording, Dom!Light, Sub!Yn, Exhibitionist ( I tried)

Masterlist

You just wouldn’t stay out of trouble. Prancing around his coworkers like you owned the place in your skimpy outfits, blantly making it known that you are in fact not wearing panties.

He knew you wanted attention -needed the attention- however right now he just couldn’t give it to you.

“Light...” Your whine made his cock hard. The deadpan on his face while he attempted to focus on the work in front of him was cracking at the least. This was getting ridiculous. How can one person just not get the hint? There’s a time and place for everything and right now your boyfriend is about to lose his shit.

“You promised me two hours ago that you’ll spend some time with me.”

The dark headed boy glares up at you over the few men standing around, casting fear onto you.

“And I’ll get to you when we’re through!” He shouts, his frustration getting the best of him.

“Don’t yell at me.” Glaring at your boyfriend, you watch him shove his hands in his pocket, though you wish they’d shove them down your throat instead.

“Then do what you’re told. Go over there and wait.”

“Light, I’m so tired of you never paying attention to me.” You growl your arms folding across your chest.

There’s no way he’s getting away with this again for the second week in a row.

Light throws the headset from his head on the table and turns to you.

“You want my attention?” He stomps, pinning you to the bed. “Get over there.” He points his finger in your face and steps back to set up his phone. “You want attention? Here. Have everyone’s attention.”

He starts the live recording on a website returning to your body lying on the bed.

“You’re so needy.” He growls pushing your legs up. “I can’t get two seconds of alone time without you constantly bitching in my ear.”

His nails claw into your thighs leaving you with a hiss.

“Shut up.” Light smacks your leg grabbing his phone. “Let’s do a live stream so everyone can see how fucking stupid you are.”

The red light on his camera turns on along with the smirk on his face.

“Look at that pussy. Dripping for me like that pathetic baby she is.” He zooms in on your face. “Do you want my cock baby?”

You bite your lower lip, looking almost in pain nodding to him. “Then get up here and show me.”

He pulls your arm making you tumble over him.

“Wait... I have a better idea.” He makes you sit up, tying your hands behind your back. “That’s better.”

The smirk spread across his lips confirms you’re in for a show.

“What? What do you want?” He taunts you from behind the camera.

“Your cock. I want your cock.” You cling to his leg and he laughs.

“What am I supposed to do about that? You want it, take it out.” The smirk on his lips match that devilish look in his eyes.

A manic laugh leaves his mouth watching you struggle to unbutton his pants. “You want my attention. All eyes are on you Babe.”

Light watches you struggle; hands tied behind your back, your mouth nipping at the button.

“Aww poor needy Baby, do you need help?” He caresses your head, fingers combing your hair as your cheeks flush.

“Why are you being so mean?”

Light’s fingers still against your head.

“Because you’re an annoying little brat.” Those lean fingers curve around your cheek, reigning your hair sharply forcing your face into the camera.

“Go ahead, Baby, tell them how stupid you are.” The camera focuses on your face. “Tell them how much on an annoying brat you are, how thirsty for my cock you are.”

He taunts you, your cheeks growing red and tears coming out of your eyes.

“L-light.” You choke, shaking trying to keep your balance.

“Just do it. I don’t understand what’s so hard to just follow directions. Fuck.”

He unbuttons his pants and lets his cock hit you against the face.

“There. Take it with your needy ass.” You slip down to take him from the bottom of his cock when continues to degrade you. “Always whining about how you don’t get attention. You know that shit pisses me off.” He pulls your head upward again, forcing his cock down your throat.

“How’s that for attention? How about I show this to your mother and your father? Nonetheless the whole world. You dirty slut. I hope you’re happy now.”

Your tear stained cheeks pulls a satisfied smirk to his face. The burn in your throat is threatening to choke you as his cock pushes its limit.

“Mmhmm. Take it. What did I tell you about relaxing your jaw?” He hits the back of your head forcing you to gag on him. “That’s better. Take me baby.” The sucking of your wet hole makes him twitch when he pulls out. Light clutches your jaw forcing you to look him in the face.

The dripping mascara smeared under your eyes has been mentally preparing himself. Doe eyes begging for mercy and all he wants is to make you cry. All he wants to do is show you how much of an embarrassment you are.

“Fucked out lips. Runny eyes. You’re disgusting.”

His hand curves up your face, smearing the makeup under his thumb. “Clean it.”

“What? No.” Your face cringes under his demand and he shoves his thumb on your tongue. “It wasn’t a question.

You gag under pressure, eyes leaking more as he chuckles behind the screen.

“Don’t you dare spit up on me.”

With your soggy eyes, you look up at him, your lips firmly puckered around his thumb.

“Was it that hard?”

He pulls his thumb from your mouth and directs your face to his cock.

“Wet me up. Be glad I’m letting you prep me yourself.” You take him slowly looking him in the eye once more and he pulls out.

“Turn around. Show them your pathetic cunt.”

Slowly turning on your knees, you position yourself with your chest pressed against the bed.

“Thatta girl.” He smacks your cheek gripping your hip, hands crawling to your hands tied behind your back.

A simple tug for him, he pulls your body into his.

“Are you gonna behave?” He whispers, his voice sharp like razor blades into your ear.

“Mmhmm.” You whimper and He chuckles.

“Good.” Light releases your body into the bed once more, this time brushing his cock into your tight lips. “Because I don’t have time for your stupid cunt if you won’t listen.”

He slides into to you with a slow moan moving through your lips.

“Oh? You’re enjoying yourself aren’t you?” He zooms in on your pussy watching your tense body relax with each thrust. The way his cock sounds each time he slides in and out of your gushing cunt makes him want to fill your swollen hole on the spot.

“Mmmhmm.” The smirk grows on your lips as he bottoms into you. “Ugh. Damn Light.”

“So spoiled.” He pulls himself out only to fill you again. “I give you what you want and you cuss me.”

Without mercy, he begins to fuck you full speed. The camera may not have the best visual presentation, but your moans are enough to please their imagination.

“Mm what’s that? Nothing to say?” The sound of your hips smacking is only audible. “Fucked you stupid haven’t I?”

His fingers hook your lips pulling himself into you.

“Talk to me baby.” He laughs as inaudible sounds come from your mouth. “You sound a bit preoccupied.”

Pushing you to your limits, he’s filling your cunt with every inch of his cock.

“I want everyone to witness you acting like a needy whore. Your ass will never interrupt me again while I work. Do you understand?” You nod however he doesn’t recognize it. “Do I make myself clear?”

“Mmhmm.” The smacks of his hips hitting yours directly has your eyes swelling shut, your ass stinging and your pussy filling with his cum.

“Fuck. Your needy cunt. You feel so good.” He fucks his high into you. “Your cunt... fuck. So good...” his moans are lazy and you feel yourself subsiding to his pleasure. “Mmm you’re such a good girl. Feeling me get off makes you feel good. Doesn’t it, Pet.”

It wasn’t a question, but a distraction to pull your arousal. He slips from you, his stringy cum tripping off his head out of your abused pussy.

“You’re pathetic. Disgusting. I won’t let you get off, you’re so pathetic you want to cum from desperation” He rolls his eyes watching your cunt drip through the lens.

“Who owns this pussy?” He fingers your cunt playing with his cum. “Hmm? Who makes you cum?”

“You do, Light.” Your cheeks burn as red as the flesh on your cunt. You bury your face in between your arms and he drags your hips flipping you over to face him and the camera.

“Who’s gonna listen next time so she can cum too?” He taunts you pulling on your arms to expose you. “Hmm? Who’s gonna listen next time.

Your makeup smeared face, fucked out lips and naked body watch him smirk.

“I will, Light.” You whimper feeling defeated.

“You will what?” He smacks your tit watching you wince.

“I will listen next time, Light.”

“Why will you listen, Slut?”

“So I can cum too.”

“That’s right. So you can cum too.” He films your body exposing the cum dripping from your core. “Now go clean yourself up, you disgust me.” He spits on you disconnecting you from the public.

#death note #yagami light #yandere light yagami #light yagami smut #death note smut

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misteria247 · 3 years

Text

Forgotten

Chapter Three

WARNING: The following chapter has swears and a few mentions of alcohol. If this makes you uncomfortable then I encourage y'all to check out my other works!

~~~~~

The truck drove through the night, the driver humming softly to themselves with the radio. Tonight had been a rather strange night for them, after having something hit their truck and seeing nothing around other than broken tree branches, rocks and other natural things the driver had been a little bit spooked ever since. Now they were even more desperate to get home, to get back to the city and away from the creepy woods.

"Soon I'll be back in my shitty apartment and away from this bullshit."

The driver grumbled to themselves as they continued the long journey home. After a good ten miles or so the familiar shapes of old houses and gas stations started to show up again instead of trees. The human sagged a bit relieved to see the familiar landmarks when the sudden dinging from truck startled them back into their once tense position. Eyes scanning the dashboard they finally landed on the gas meter and the human cursed.

"God damnit...I need gas."

They growled driving the old truck towards a gas station nearby. Pulling up to the pump they parked the truck and turned it off, searching for their wallet. Once found the driver got out of their truck and slammed the door shut before making their way towards the building.

~~~~~

The sound of a door slamming shut was what woke him up. As silent as a grave and on high alert, he peeked through the holes of the tarp that kept him hidden and blinked rapidly at the sudden bright lights that blinded him. Once the specs of color and darkness were out of his sight he took in his surroundings and bit back a swear.

'Civilization, I stayed too long in the truck. I gotta get out of here before I'm caught.'

He thought in a slight panic before forcing himself to calm down.

'Okay think, is there anyone who could see me? Are there any cameras?'

He looked back through the holes in his tarp and saw no one in sight. He breathed a sigh of relief before looking for any cameras. Seeing that the truck was parked far enough away he took a deep steadying breath.

'Keep calm, stay focused. Move swiftly, stay to the shadows. That is the true way of the ninja.'

The thought rang through his head leaving him slightly confused.

'Ninja? Why would he know the way of the ninja?'

He didn't have time to ponder the questions as he had a time limit. Not wasting another moment he sprang from the truck bed as quickly and quietly as he could bolting for the trees that were still around. Once he was safe under the cover of complete darkness again and out of sight of any humans he relaxed.

'You did well......my.....'

He blinked in a sudden daze as a soft voice echoed in his mind. A voice that sounded familiar yet unfamiliar. It made him feel something, something he hadn't felt in a long time.

It made him feel safe.

Shaking his head to get rid of the whispered voice he continued to run until he was out of sight of the gas station. He didn't know exactly where he was going but he knew better than to stay around here. He'd find some other way to get to a city, he just had to think. Thankfully he wasn't seen, the last thing he needed was for angry humans to go after the freak.

~~~~~

"What.....the.....fuck....."

The driver breathed in stunned shock and disbelief. They'd had just gotten done paying for their gas and had stepped out of the gas station building when they'd seen it. Something big running in the treeline before disappearing. The driver could barely make anything out but they could have sworn that they saw something green.....almost like skin......

The driver didn't stick around long after that too terrified already from the night's events. Filling their truck they quickly hopped in and sped out of the gas station lot. Zooming down the road the poor drive didn't look back, instead focusing on getting back to the city. They nearly cried tears of joy when they saw the familiar sign signaling that they were almost there.

New York City, five miles ahead.

"Finally, jesus I hate nature and I hate whatever the hell that thing was."

They said in a spooked tone speeding down the road until they'd finally hit city limits.

~~~~~

New York was a rather crowded city. Filled with people of all walks of life and all kinds of backgrounds it was a melting pot of anything and everything. It was the place where you could thrive in the hustle and bustle of fast living. The city that never sleeps, always awake in some way twenty four hours a day. It was a hectic lifestyle but it was how things were. And wherever hectic things occurred there was bound to be someone who sees it. It was the perfect place for someone who worked in the news to find great stories.

It was a perfect place for people like April O'neil.

April was a rather smart woman, working for big companies and finding the latest scoops to sell to the huge news media stations, she had a keen sense of finding things out that others could never dream of finding. Because of this natural talent April had been the first one to discover the secret of New York City. The secret that protected the city and its inhabitants from unknown dangers and kept the shady groups of people and other criminals off the streets.

The Turtles.

April's precious family. She hadn't meant to find them, it'd been an accident if she was being honest. What started off as one of her normal routine information diggings it'd ended up with her finding out some rather dangerous information involving an underground group that had wanted to destroy the city. Long story short she'd been saved by these mutant turtles and the rat mutant known as their father and master and taken in when she'd needed protection. After that April O'neil became inseparable from them. She'd ended up fighting alongside them in their dangerous battles against all kinds of enemies such as The Kraang, The Purple Dragons, and even their family's most dangerous enemy, The Foot Clan.

Over the years April fought with them and helped them out in anyway she could. She did everything within her power to keep the turtles and their father safe. They were her family and she loved them dearly and the feeling was mutual. Perhaps that's why April had been one of the people who took what had happened the worst out of all of them mentally. Perhaps that is why to this very day she pushed herself for her boys as hard as she did. Perhaps that is why she was currently in the place she was in now. The bar was crowded tonight, filled with all the drunkards and other unsavory types of people who drank away the night with booze and other alcoholic beverages. The red head was seated at the bar station, her stool scooted away from everyone as much it could go as she listened to the gossip and information that was passed around by its inhabitants.

As she stirred her coke, she'd heard a voice speak up from a nearby table.

"I'm telling you guys! It was some kind of monster thing! I saw it with my own eyes!"

A person exclaimed in a somewhat panicky manner, their eyes wide. One of the men sitting at the table with them just laughed.

"Really? A monster? Ya sure you weren't seeing things?"

The man mused before taking a sip of his beer. The person huffed looking slightly irritated.

"I wasn't seeing things.....no one could imagine something like this."

They said sounding a bit unnerved. That caught their companion's attention as well as April's who was quietly tuning into the conversation.

"This thing....it.....it was big....! And it moved so fast! I couldn't make out much of it but I could make out that it....it had...."

They paused seemingly shaken up recalling it. The man grabbed their shoulder and gave them a little shake.

"What?? What did it have???"

The man demanded sounding a bit irritated and on edge.

"It had green skin......I swear to God.....it was green like.....like some kind of frog or lizard or something like that I don't really know but I do know one thing. It....it wasn't natural...."

They finished off. The man meanwhile just stared at them in shock.

"Jesus Christ...."

The man breathed. The conversation seemed to die down for April who sat on her stool frozen dead in her spot. Her bright blue eyes were wide with disbelief. She didn't think about what she was doing next as she suddenly stood up from her stool and made her way to the table that was near her and quickly shot out.

"This gas station, where was it??"

She nearly demanded the poor person who jumped at her sudden appearance. The person blinked before they responded.

"Uh the old gas station outside of the city right before you come into its limits. About five miles out-Hey lady where you going?!?"

The person exclaimed baffled but April was already gone from view. She quickly left the bar, her mind racing a mile a minute.

'There's no way....it couldn't be.....it's been four years.....!'

She thought trying to think about it logically. It just wasn't possible not after.....April slowed her pace down on the sidewalk as she remembered the sobering moment that ruined her and her family's lives four years ago. The one moment that broke up an entire family and effectively broken their spirits. April felt her throat tighten as she thought about the turtles and their father. How they'd mourned and grieved still to this very day. It just wasn't possible.

'But what if it's really him....? What if it's really truly him....? If there's even a small chance that it could be him.....I have to know. I'd never forgive myself if I didn't go and see if it's really him....'

April's thoughts whispered brokenly. She had to know, she had to see if what this person saw was really the one she and the boys believed was gone. With a determined fire that she'd thought had long past died April began speeding up her pace again, her blue eyes alight with something she hadn't dared to entertain since the incident four years ago.

Hope.

With a practiced motion she reached into her pants pocket and pulled out her cellphone ready to call the turtles when she paused.

"I can't bring them into this, not without knowing if it's really him or not. If it was just something that the person imagined...."

April mumbled softly. The red head knew that if she got the boys involved and it'd ended up not being him......

It'd most likely destroy the family even more than it already was.

"But I can't just go alone! I might need backup! Ugh but who can I call-"

April stopped mid rant her eyes going wide as another person popped into her mind. One who she knew for sure would go with her. Scrolling through her contacts she finally came across the familiar number of the one person she hadn't spoken to in a good while. Pressing the call button she patiently waited for the phone to pick up. After a few short rings it finally picked up.

"Casey, it's April. I need your help."

*Three parts in the span of a few days hot damn I'm on a roll y'all and it feels hella good!!! I'm lowkey pretty proud of this part and I'm just having a blast writing for my boy Leo and this premise that I've got going on. Hopefully y'all are having a blast as well!!!! Anyways if any y'all read this I hope you enjoyed it!!!*

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colossalsummer · 4 years

Text

KOTLC book one READ ALONG part 2 of 5

I read the first Keeper of the Lost Cities book and annotated every page. Here are the highlights. (Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3/ Part 4/ Part 5)

Chapter 11

Tiergan: “I’ll see you Tuesday.” This is a weird thing to focus on, but… they have a seven day week like we do?

Soooo okay okay okay why are they giving her a top-level education gratis? Do they plan to use her once she graduates? Nothing in life is free.

Sophie: “What am I supposed to tell my family? They’re not going to let me disappear every day with no explanation.” Alden: “About that, Sophie. You and I need to have a talk.” OH-HO the truth come out

The sorrow in his eyes made her feel like she’d swallowed something slimy. Clearly, it wasn’t going to be a pleasant conversation. Ah—so this is a kidnapping. Cool.

Her registry pendant, Della explained. Everyone had to wear one, so they could be easily found. Oh so a collar. I’ll be ditching that come time for the revolution

Sophie: “But… why does anyone work, then—if they already have money?” Della: “What else would we do with our time?” Sophie: “I don’t know. Something fun?” Della: “Work is fun.” Spoken like somebody who’s never worked retail on Black Friday. Some work is dangerous and boring. Who’s doing that stuff?

Chapter 12

Alden: “Now that the Council knows you exist, they’ve ordered that you move here. Effective immediately.” Oh, I see. A kidnapping.

She didn’t belong in the human world, and she was tired of pretending she did. It feels a little messed up for all these elves to keep insisting that she doesn’t belong with humans. She probably won’t feel like she totally belongs with elves, either, and then she won’t feel like she fits in anywhere. Y’all gonna give this child a complex.

Sophie: “You’re going to kill me off?” Alden: “As far as your family and the rest of the humans are concerned… yes.” IT IS A KIDNAPPING

Chapter 13

Sophie: “I drugged my family.” Fitz: “You did the right thing.” Sophie: “It doesn’t feel like the right thing.” HELLO *looking around fandom* ARE WE ALL SEEING THIS??

To be honest I don’t have a lot of notes for this chapter because it was just so heartbreaking and distressing. Like I have one note at the end of the chapter and all it says is “oof”

Someone protect this child

Chapter 14

Alden: “Fitz can help you get settled in here while we’re gone.” Sophie: “Here? I’ll be living here?” Sweetie, Fitz can’t be your step-brother ’cause then there won’t be a love triangle

Elwin: “Whoa, that is some serious damage. It’s not permanent… And it’s not your fault. Toxic food, toxic water, toxic air.” Fluoride, smallpox vaccinations, 5G…

Elwin: “Now, try not to let this worry you, but your body needs a major detox. We’ll start with these.” …My essential oils

Chapter 15

Alden: They run an animal preserve at Havenfield, so they always have all kinds of exciting things going on.” COOOL

“We’ve even had to collect endangered species—gorillas, lions, mammoths—” YES THANK YOU SHANNON

“Grady and Edaline train the animals to be vegetarians by feeding them gnomish produce; that way they won’t hunt one another once they’re moved to the Sanctuary.” mmm good luck obligate carnivores

“Another roar interrupted their conversation. Whatever it was sounded like it wasn’t happy about its new diet plan.” It is dying slowly because it can’t produce its own taurine but OK

Hopefully elf veggies are different than earth veggies. That’s just what I’m going to keep telling myself.

The path lead to a wide meadow, where gnomes were using thick ropes to lasso what looked like a giant lizard covered in neon green feathers. UNNH YES I DON’T DESERVE THIS

Also no wonder nobility work for fun, they got gnomes out here doin’ the dangerous jobs

I’m not going to bore you with my breakdown of this dinosaur reconstruction but as a person who worked in a museum as a paleontology educator these bits are the most exciting parts of the book for me. I rate this tyrannosaur 6/10 for scientific accuracy and 10/10 for handsomeness. Shannon Messenger gets 20/10 for popularizing feathered theropods.

…she couldn’t decide if he reminded her more of James Bond or Robin Hood—which felt wrong. He was so unlike her chubby, balding dad she wasn’t sure how to relate. Sophie, meet your new, hotter dad.

Chapter 16

At Sophie’s nod she conjured up a bowl of orange glop and a spoon. Why do elves eat so much goo? This whole time it’s been nothing but goo

Della: “Our world is ‘talent-based’.” AH-HA

Sophie: “Seems kind of unfair.” Yeah, who decides which talents matter and which don’t?

“Get ready to add the amarallitine, Dex.” Oh, I’ve heard of YOU

Grady: “I wouldn’t be surprised if he pushes for you to get transferred to Exillium—and let’s just say it’s somewhere you don’t want to go.” Oh, so there are BAD schools… it all comes together…

So if Edaline and Juline are sisters, is Dex like Sophie’s foster cousin?

Chapter 17

Dex: “The Leapmaster 500. You’re lucky. My parents aren’t nobility, so they’re only authorized to have the 250—it’s missing tons of cool places.” Like bad Netflix. I don’t love that this society limits where poor people can go.

Dame Alina: “First and foremost, whoever put the reekrod in my desk over the weekend will—It’s not funny!” *the camera slowly zooms in on Dex*

A spotlight focused on Sophie. Well, first day ruined. Only took fifteen minutes.

Her name hissed around the room like a viper’s nest. “Ssssssophie.”

Stina: “You left it open, idiot. I guess remembering to close doors is too hard for the son of a bad match to remember.” Ah wonderful, eugenics. I love elf school

Chapter 18

“Mastering all the elements is one of the steps toward entering the nobility.” Everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked

“Dude.” Is this a human-obsessed thing or is there straight-up an elvish word for dude

Sophie: “What exactly is a ‘bad match’?” Marella: “A couple that was ruled genetically incompatible. Usually that means their kids will be inferior.” THERE ARE SCREENINGS??

Sophie: “What’s Exillium?” Marella: “The school where they send the hopeless cases.” Yep I want to go there

Chapter 19

Telepaths were in high demand. Once she’d proven trustworthy, she’d receive assignments from the Council. OH OKAY so they send her to wizard school and when she graduates they don’t miss a beat, just scoop her on up and enlist her

If a prodigy hadn’t manifested by Level Four, they might be expelled—and even if they stayed at Foxfire, they couldn’t take the elite levels, which meant they’d never be nobility. Most ended up working class.

But once again it didn’t escape her notice that Grady avoided telling her what his special ability was. It couldn’t be something bad. Could it? The man has dinosaurs so if he was going to do something bad I feel like he’d have done it already

Chapter 20

Sophie: “Prentice?” Marella: “Yeah. He was this supertalented Telepath, but he got exiled like twelve years ago.” Oh as old as I am hm how interesting go onnn…

Lady Galvin: “Don’t you know anything about alchemy?” FFFF that’s why I’m HERE you old BAG

Lady Galvin: “Dame Alina probably thinks this is funny, forcing me to teach such basic serums. Well, I won’t have it.” You know, you aren’t getting paid, you can quit. I don’t mind.

“I’m Keefe.” Will this bad boy help us lead the resistance?

Keefe: “Did you do any damage?” Sophie: “Only her cape.” Keefe: “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Do you have any idea how epic that is?” I really like this lil anarchist.

Keefe: “Destroyed Galvin’s cape.” Elwin: “Wish I could’ve seen that!” I’m recruiting this man for the rebellion. Keefe and Elwin get sorted in the Chaotic Good pile for the day of reckoning.

Stay tuned for Part 3.

#kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #read along #part two #kotlc funny #kotlc memes #kotlc sophie #kotlc alden #kotlc dex #kotlc keefe #kotlc book 1 #keeper 1 #shannon messenger #kotlc read along with me #tw: eugenics #kotlc spoilers #kotlc tiergan

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farchanter · 3 years

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Tales of Vesperia: Definitive Edition

The laws have always been the tools of whoever happens to hold all the chips.

There is nothing in this world I love quite so much as a good co-op game. My brothers and I still play something together every weekend. This love stems from, in particular, three action RPGs we played when I was in high school: Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles (the remaster of which we’re playing next), The Legend of Zelda: Four Swords Adventures (a sequel to which we’re long overdue for), and Tales of Symphonia. Thanks to the magic of Steam’s relatively new Remote Play feature, Tales of Vesperia became the first game in the series since which we could finally play together again.

The Tales games are set apart from traditional JRPGs by their signature “Linear Motion Battle System”. Players control one character of their party, and combat plays out somewhat similarly to Super Smash Bros.: you can advance toward or away from your target along an imaginary x-axis drawn between you and said target, jump into the air, attack, and block. The other members of your party are doing the same thing with their targets along their axes. Fights play out in real time— while the combat system isn’t nearly as precise or versatile as Super Smash Bros., I hope that comparison gets across the gist of what combat looks like.

Tales of Vesperia is largely the same as Symphonia in this area, with some cool quality-of-life improvements over its more celebrated sibling. In Symphonia, the combat camera tightly follows whoever Player 1’s character happens to be— meaning that it was inevitable for the other players to be in the unenviable position of trying to fight without being able to see what they were doing. Vesperia, on the other hand, will either zoom in or out depending on how far apart the player-controlled characters are. Vesperia also has a “free run” feature, which allows you to temporarily eschew the axis-bound fight system to reposition yourself as you see fit. That isn’t new to Vesperia, but wasn’t present in Symphonia. These two seemingly small things are big improvements. This being said: both Symphonia and Vesperia were made using the same proprietary engine, and it’s definitely showing its age. Strange decisions were made for button mappings— it’s seemingly impossible to give your AI teammates orders without first draining your Overlimit meter, which is particularly frustrating when an entire control stick went unused. It’s still possible to wind up in a situation where it’s impossible to advance on your enemy because of how they are positioned on the screen. The engine is finally being replaced for the eventually-upcoming Tales of Arise, and I hope that team can take the good things done here and apply them to the new Unreal-based Tales engine.

Tales of Vesperia tries to tackle many of the social, ecological, and political issues we see in the world today— and it’s not subtle about it. Working poor trying to get by on what they have while the wealthy feast, an elite crust of society seemingly immune to any sort of consequence, law enforcement brutality, a natural resource powering the world which is wreaking increasing environmental havoc— these are all less “metaphors” so much as “actually just the plot of the game”. The tension in the story is ultimately distilled into the tension between two characters— childhood friends from the poor district of their city: one a rising star in the Imperial Knights, the other a former Knight who grew upset with working for a system that desires to keep people like him downtrodden.

It is, then, a story about the conflict between revolutionary and reformist politics. However, Tales of Vesperia never really feels sure about or comfortable with that theme. The implications of that political motive are uncomfortable while still trying to portray the two characters as friends— the two philosophies are at odds with each other in time of crisis, and ultimately revolution will either need to be snuffed out or the existing system destroyed— and impossible to do while generally presenting their viewpoints as equally valid. The game presents a tragedy— that the two are on a collision course— but ultimately chickens out of that conflict. Because of this, the game frequently struggles to provide clear connections between story beats. Up through the end, we frequently asked “so, wait, why are we doing this?"— which isn’t necessarily a great question for late in a 70-hour RPG. What begins as a quest to restore the only source of drinking water in the poor part of the city escalates and escalates— though, importantly, it’s not always clear why. Perhaps because of its squeamishness about its central conflict, Tales of Vesperia instead ping-pongs all over the place. This disorientation is magnified by some, frankly, sloppy writing. For example, there is a massive war which makes up a big part of Vesperia's backstory: so long ago that none of the younger characters remember anything about it at all, and all of the characters who did fight in the war are now old men. Yet, the game also repeatedly tells us the conflict ended ten years ago. And, in the end, the story appeals to a Watchmen-esque deus ex machina— a cataclysm so serious that political difference becomes irrelevant and requires no further introspection— as a way to resolve that conflict without an actual fight or a real decision by either of the main characters. Because of this, neither of them really grows— which is disappointing at the end of what is, again, a 70-hour game.

This isn’t to say that Tales of Vesperia isn’t fun— we enjoyed it, and we did sink a full 70 hours into it. It’s perfectly satisfying as an action RPG. However: I would be lying if I said that any part of Tales of Vesperia, for as fun as it is, is particularly well-made. The story can’t really decide what to do with itself, the English translation is spotty and seemed to deteriorate as time went on, and the combat system is improved but still rough around the edges, but the biggest offender by far are all of the other game mechanics not strictly related to combat.

In Tales of Symphonia, there are relatively few rules. If you use your fire spell a lot, you eventually get a more powerful fire spell. It’s simple, but it’s fairly effective. Vesperia, on the other hand, squirrels its progression behind a slew of intersecting systems both poorly explained and hard to use even when understood.

Much of the game is like that, too. While I like it when a game doesn’t hold your hand through everything, Tales of Vesperia takes pride in explaining none of its complexities. We missed fairly important plot events because we weren’t told about them, and whole systems of the game were essentially unintelligible to us. It’s hard to master something when you don’t even know what it is you’re supposed to master.

Graphically, however, is where I think Tales of Arise will realize the most gains by moving to a new engine. Character renderings in Vesperia are awkward, and the system most shows its age when trying to show emotional cutscenes with lots of movement. However, there’s another type of cutscene— one where characters are reduced to boxes with their portraits in them. The game gets a lot of traction out of these limited animations freed from 3D renderings, and they were some of my favorite moments of character development. Why, then, the game didn’t rely more on them is somewhat of a mystery to me.

I feel like I’m complaining a lot about an experience I enjoyed, which is something of a shame and perhaps not an accurate representation of my feelings. My frustration stems from all of the pieces being present for something great, but none put together well.

This was our first experience with Steam’s Remote Play— while there were a number of technical glitches for this fairly experimental feature, it worked reasonably well. I’m excited that it opens a door to a whole spectrum of local-only co-op games.

#completion list #games #completed #ToDo #review #tales of vesperia: definitive edition #tales of vesperia #tales #tales of #bandai namco #rpg #knight #knights of nonsense #the quarantine list

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terrraaa · 3 years

Text

how i think haikyuu characters would use snapchat p2. tanaka and nishinoya

Tanaka

100% has a semi-embarrassing old username that he got to match with noya when the app first came out during their second year

he didnt realize he wouldn’t be able to change his username a month into his use of the app, but didnt even bother making a new account and just accepted it

has a high snap score from his constant snapping with nishinoya and hinata throughout the day, his insistence on updating kiyoko with his accomplishments with a peace sign selfie, and the many group chats he is in

i think like a 130,000 snap score seems to fit him, he doesnt fit the stereotype of snapping a lot of girls constantly but would definitely be constantly talking to friends

posts on his main story maybe twice a day

sometimes will post a random shirtless selfie at like 1am, but everyone thinks its some weird ironic humor when in reality he just cant remember what happened

doesnt get self conscious of people seeing into his life, so there’ll probably be some videos of him and saeko doing some dumb shit at home every other week

saeko always asks for him to @ her all the time and he always refuses

selfies and videos with the team are a common occurrence of tanakas snapchat stories

some examples of the above would be:

a shaky video with LOTS of laughter in the background of kageyama chucking a ball at 70mph at hinatas face

a video of nishinoya running across the gym to try and climb tsukishima in the shortest possible time he can manage (whispering “ready? Go!” and noya zooming across the gym to launch himself at the blond, who immediately squirmed and protested and yelled while noya grabbed his flailing arms and continued to haul himself up. this video was one of tanaka’s prized possessions, and he kept an extra copy of it in his my eyes only after tsukishima threatened to steal his phone and erase it when he found out he was recording)

videos of the bus after games, featuring all the sleeping members of the team

and during the class noya and tanaka shared they would always sit in the back and push their desks together so they could film “vlogs” together and talk to the phone for a whole ass minute until the teacher would notice

basically, tanaka gets all the funniest content imaginable, and man am i gonna write down a whole post-worth of videos he’s probably taken

Nishinoya

doesnt have a bitmoji because of the limited hair options it has

he says nothing “capture his essence” enough to make it worth having one

has the highest snap score of the karasuno team, at least 500,000

pls he’s so social but would also spam the shit out of his friends

mutual besties with tanaka OF COURSE, and they still have a streak going from when the feature first came out

he LOVES group chats and will abuse them for the first week of him being added, but after that you’ll never see him again

has a private story that basically everyone is on

used to repost those cringe story chain mail things, as well as doing tbhs, and would do this so often that asahi had to stage an intervention

he also gets a lot of the funny content just like tanaka but his camera-skills tend to be a bit shakier and off focus

has a series of himself walking into school each morning and chatting to the phone

i feel like he’d be the type to ask to go to the bathroom, and then just wander the halls for 5 minutes

whenever he does that, he walks by his friends classrooms and tries to sneak pictures reaaaally zoomed in on their face

probably sends it to them, and records their reaction as they get the notification and open it

the first time he did this to asahi, he nearly gave the poor boy a heart attack because he hadn’t read the notification name and all asahi had seen was a really creepy angle of his own face

uses his my eyes only for “macho poses” of himself flexing or posing shirtless in the mirror, and one time tsukishima broke into it after threatening to for weeks and laughed his ass off in front of the team for 5 minutes after seeing them all

i have a personal hc that nishinoya is one of the members of the team who is super into physical affection (platonically)

so he takes a bunch of selfies with his friends with him posing to kiss their cheek, or with an arm around them

lots of hug videos, some taken by tanaka of him running up to hug some of his more reluctant teammates ( *cough cough* kageyama and tsukki)

they always track him down after practice and ask him to send them the pictures so they can save them

always has the BEST material for posting on peoples birthdays

basically, noya’s snapchat would feature other people a lot more than it would him, and he can’t go a day without “1 year ago today” memories

doesnt regret a moment of his spamming, and is super happy he gets to look back on all these good times they had together

- man now i have so many ideas of what these two would post, i think ill make a separate post just for specific videos and photos they would have

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fart-gate · 4 years

Text

SG1

STARGATE : ARK OF TRUTH

Notes by me

- we open with a mountain range and the theme song!! Very nice 10/10

- "a long time ago, in a galaxy far far away...."

- the Ori are the big bads of the movie it seems

- what is this ark they speak of?

- daniel!!!!! Tealc!!!! Vala!!!

- back on dakara

- "why am I answering her."

- "you wouldn't stop your yammering!" Someone separate the children pls

- and Cam enters with drama!

- Sam!! Nice hair do 😍

- tomin?! Wait I thought he was supposed to be nice now

- "whats new"

- daniel when they push past him to open the box:

- what?? Theres nothing in it??? A fake!

- they have a anti prior device!!!

- Tomin Sees The Truth

- hello sgc 💗💞💗

- this camera work.....u ok camera man?

- mention of atlantis!

- "why do i get the feeling we're gonna miss woolsey"

- Daniel still getting visions from Merlin?? Honey is your brain ok

- daniels slow head turn when vala said she doesnt read books without pictures

- mention of wraith and Pegasus galaxy!

- tealcs white hair 😍

- "does that mean I have to sit in the chair...." Cam stop whining about being in charge of a space ship

- captain cam! "Make it go"

- tealc and tomin therapy session

- tealc laying out all his thoughts and deep feelings 😢💞😢💞

- supergate! What a kawoosh!!!

- whats on the other side

- ah! Medieval town

- daniels losing it. Seeing Merlin

- cam really hates this guy doesnt he

- "got your back" awww Sam and cam 💗

- whats this asshole doing sneaking around. Hey dont touch those crystals

- oh I'm IN LOVE with these black uniforms

- cam is at his limit with this dude lmao

- oh for fucks sake a replicator???? Are u kidding me???

- Daniel......u good

- oh boy more visions

- a tunnel!

- he literally knew nothing about these bug robots and made them anyway. Fucking idiot

- cam is 👌 this close to shooting this dude point blank

- "dont miss"

"I wont"

He missed

- this is a suicide mission. Who ordered them on a suicide mission???

- meanwhile......down down to goblin town goes Daniel and gang

- oh shit they cant be beamed

- "youre friendly neighborhood ships commander"

- love how Daniel hears static on his radio and knows that the ship is in trouble and just.....doesnt care lol

- Landry showing shade at this prior

- did we really need a zoom in on cams ear

- "oh shit!" LET CAM SAY FUCK

- "how many"

"ALOT!"

- "stop fussing and just open it!" Vala I agree waiting for Daniel requires the utmost patience but pls dont risk all your lives

- TEALC NO

- that fucking box better be a time machine or something. Tealc better be fine

- oh wow what a death for that douche

- tealc thank god you're ok

- tealc is getting too old for this

- hey Daniel whump👀👀👀 I'm pleasantly surprised

- tealc trekking up a mountain for his friends 💖💞💖💞💖💞💖 MVP

- what is that torture thing even doing

- meanwhile!! Cam is not having a good time

- thats a big mother

- oh hello mister douche OH MY GOD GROSS ITS IN HIS BACK EW EW

- adria! Whats up hoe

- tealc .......u look like shit

- cam vs replidude

- what is it with cam and being fine with dying

- uuhhh?? Was that oma??? It was an ancient

- there he goes!!! Tealc to the rescue

- colonel ellis from Atlantis! Hate u

- cam whump is nice actually

- "kill me"

"Believe me I'm trying"

- oh......weak Daniel 👀👀👀👌👌👌👀👀👌👌👀💖💖💞👌👌👀👀💖💞💞😍😍💖👀👀👀

- Morgan le fey?????

- crying!Daniel

- tealc is such a badass

- I'm sorry but the fake blood on cam is kinda bad

- uh I'm having thoughts about Daniel vala and tomin

- repliskeleton??? "Oh give me a break"

- I'm sick of cam accepting his death

- Sam saves the day!

- its not stargate without Daniel and vala at each others throats 🤗

- silent communication 👀

- she fucking CHUCKED Daniel across the room

- oh my god is actually worked

- yea go morgan!!!

- "ow" poor cam

- Sam just called Daniel "danny" and I am deceased

- she baked him macaroons !!! My heart😫😫😫😫💖💖💖💖💖💖

- tomin is to lead his people! I believe in him

- vala still having feelings for him but staying bc its where she belongs 😭😭😍

- always something huh. Now area 51 has the device

- Daniel telling vala to get used to being blamed for things lmaooo

-"Walter, hit it!"

#stargate #movies #stargate season 10 #what a great movie! now for the next one #daniel and sam torture - weak and crying daniel - beaten up cam fight scene - weak tealc - power house tealc - daniel thrown across room #- vala emotional #whump

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dinoyoongi · 5 years

Text

Broken Bones & Salami Sandwiches

(I do not own image)

SYNOPSIS: When your excitement to watch Yoongi accept BTS’ first Grammy award takes a clumsy, painful turn.

PAIRING: Yoongi x Y/N

GENRE: Fluff

WARNINGS: Language

WORD COUNT: 2543

_______________________________

“And the Grammy goes to ...” the presenter takes an obnoxious pause, grinning at the camera like he's the funniest person in the world. You growl angrily, grabbing the closest item within reach which happens to be an open pack of salami and whipping it across the room. Your sister gawks, watching as the deli meat pops out of the packaging and flies through the air before falling like confetti.

“You are 100% cleaning that up. What a waste,” she grumbles, eying the slices scattered amongst your hardwood floors. You shush her urgently, waving your hand furiously in her direction. “Y/N, it's too early in the morning to be -”

“BTS! Congratulations!”

The screen shifts to a view of the group who are still sitting, shock and disbelief painting their faces. Hoseok is the first to hesitantly rise, grabbing Taehyung's arm to either pull him up or keep him grounded.

That's about as much as you see before hysteria completely possesses you.

You're on your feet, half sobbing, half screeching as you jump up and down. Through your tears and hops, you try to focus on the screen. The boys are on the stage now but they don't seem to be in any better condition than you with their red eyes and wet faces. The camera zooms in on Yoongi and you break again, resuming your hops.

At least you won't have to go to the gym tonight to work off the junk food.

“Stop screaming! Don't you want to listen to their acceptance speech? They're about to start talking!” your sister shouts at you from the couch. You pause, eyes glancing to the screen. Namjoon holds the microphone, eyes glistening with unshed tears. He opens his mouth to speak when the camera goes to a group shot. Yoongi stands next to Namjoon, the little golden gramophone in his hand.

You can't help it. You lose it again. You jump ecstatically across the room, only stopping for nanosecond cry breaks. Your boyfriend is a Grammy award winner. A two-time Grammy award winner, to be exact. BTS picked up the award for Best Pop Duo/Group Performance earlier in the show but just happened to nab the most prestigious award of the night – best album. It's something that you have heard Yoongi and the boys talk about countless times. Though they never dared to have any expectations, just wishful dreams.

“They did it! Oh my god, they did it!” you screech through your leaping. Your sister begins to nag about the possibility of the downstairs neighbors calling the police but you keep jumping. It feels like your body is too small to contain the amount of happiness that you currently have and the only way to release it is to keep jumping. It's a good plan until your heel lands on a stray piece of salami. You feel everything happen in slow motion. The meat slides across the floor, taking you along with it. Your torso falls backwards and in an awkward attempt to balance yourself, you plant your right leg behind you. Unfortunately, since your excited jumps were so high, you come down hard. Right on your leg.

Crack.

There's a fierce pain and the room is suddenly spinning. It feels like your body is too small to contain the amount of pain that you currently have and the only way to release it is to close your eyes. So you close your eyes.

____________________________________

You open your eyes to the sound of your ring tone blaring somewhere in the room. You are definitely not at home anymore. You're in an unfamiliar bed, your lower half elevated with your right leg being suspended in the air by some kind of strap. There's a decent amount of pain but it's tolerable and you suspect whatever medication has been put into the IV drip inserted into your wrist is doing its job.

The sound of your phone stops. “Hello? Yoongi?”

Yoongi. BTS. The Grammy s. The jumping. The salami. It all comes back to you.

“Y/N couldn't come to the phone because she's currently recovering from her surgery,” your sister says dramatically. You can hear Yoongi's surprised “what!” from where you're laying. Your sister snickers. “No, I'm really not joking. She fell and broke her leg in four different places. They had to do emergency surgery on it. Hey, congrats on the awards, by the way.”

With as much energy as you can muster with all the medication pumped into you, you reach out your arm to your sister, fingers wiggling for the phone. She turns her body away from you and you have never wanted to strangle her as much as you do right now.

“We were watching the awards and she totally lost her fucking mind when you guys won album of the year. She threw a pack of salami and then started jumping around and eventually slipped on some of said salami. She passed out on the spot and I had to call an ambulance. They made me turn our phones off when I came into the surgery ward.”

I whine loudly, still reaching for the phone. Your sister laughs. “She just came to but she's super groggy from the anesthesia and pain medicine. I'll let the doctor see her first and have her call you back when she can. It must be super late there – do you just want to call her tomorrow?”

“Alright, alright. I'm sure she'll be calling soon. Give my congrats to the boys and your team! Have fun!” she says before throwing your phone back into her bag. You slump in defeat, your arm falling off of the bed. Your sister rolls her eyes. “He has to do a few quick interviews anyway. You can call him after I page the doctor.”

She presses the big red call button on the side of your bed. “Broke your leg in four different places by slipping on a slice of salami that you tossed all over the place. Way to go, champ.”

Only a few minutes go by before both the doctor and a nurse come in to check on your leg. Whilst he explains how bad your break was and the treatments that you'll have to endure during the healing process, the nurse sets you up with a can of ginger ale and a few graham crackers to help ease the grogginess. After he finishes his spiel and you finish your snack, you feel refreshed despite the throbbing pain in your leg.

“You've been with me all morning. Why don't you go out and get yourself some lunch or something?” you suggest politely to your sister, flashing her a blinding smile. She scoffs. After 25 years with you, she's able to see right through you.

“I got some snacks from the vending machine earlier. I'm fine.”

Your smile drops. “Well that can't be very healthy. What would Mom say? She'd be upset if you didn't eat a proper-”

“It was Mom's idea. She didn't want me to leave you during surgery. She's coming this way with dinner later so I don't want to fill up now.”

“Oh my god, just get out!” you screech, your patience snapping. Your sister smirks and drops your phone into your lap, heading towards the door. She turns back to say something before she leaves but you whip your arm back as if you're going to throw your phone and she laughs, closing the door behind her. Your fingers fumble to find Yoongi's name in your contacts. It only rings twice.

“Y/N ! What the hell! You fell while jumping?” Yoongi scolds as soon as he answers the phone. You exhale in satisfaction when you hear his voice. “Sometimes I think you forget how old you are.”

“Yoongi,” you interrupt, voice breaking. You sniffle as the tears begin to pool. “I'm so proud of you.”

He lets out a long sigh. “Jagiya, stop being cute when I'm trying to be stern with you. How are you? Are you in a lot of pain?”

“It does hurt quite a bit but I'm handling it okay. How are you? Is it overwhelming?

“A little,” he confesses. “I haven't had time to process it yet. We were taken off stage and immediately thrown into interviews and photo sessions. It doesn't seem real even though I'm staring at the awards right now.”

“I can't wait to touch them,” you say, eliciting a burst of laughter from your boyfriend. “You have to let me touch at least one of them before Big Hit takes them away for display. It's the least you can do for causing my injury.”

“Wait a minute. It's my fault that your leg is broken? How so?” he asks in mock outrage. You can't stop yourself from giggling like a teenager. Yoongi does that to you.

“I was jumping because I was so happy for you. If you had lost, I wouldn't have jumped and slipped on the salami. So in conclusion, this is all your fault.”

“Okay we can discuss the ridiculousness of your logic later. But first, I have some questions about how salami got involved.”

___________________________

“Can you grab me a sparkling water?” You call out to your sister as you lounge on the couch, foot propped up on about six different cushions. “And bring me a bag of chips as well!”

Your sister places the carbonated beverage on the coffee table in front of you but throws the bag of chips at your face. “You break your own leg and I'm being punished by waiting on you hand and foot. Life is unfair.”

“Stop being a drama queen,” you grumble. It's been three days since the accident. You only stayed at the hospital for two nights but the massive boot that they've installed engulfs your entire calf and completely limits your mobility. You've taken to sleeping on the couch because your bedroom is too far away from everything else in the apartment but your poor sister really has had to literally carry you through your day. “I only have to wear this boot for a week. They'll switch me to a slimmer one at the next appointment.”

“You're lucky that your Grammy award winning boyfriend is out of the country. I would totally make him do everything.”

“Two-Time Grammy award winning boyfriend,” you correct her. She glares at you, exhausted with hearing that phrase from you for what feels like the millionth time. You grin obnoxiously in response. She opens her mouth to argue when the chime of the doorbell rings out and she turns to press the camera view of the door.

“Is it Mom?” you ask, craning your neck from where you lay to see the screen. You can't make anything out though. “If it's Mom, I'm going to pretend I'm napping. Yesterday she spent nearly forty-five minutes badly explaining the plot of Descendants of the Sun to me even though I told her ten times that I've already watched it.”

Your sister snickers, her eyes on the screen. “Yeah, it's Mom. I've buzzed her in so you better hurry and get all bundled up.”

You take her advice, throwing the blanket over the length of your body and tucking it up under your chin. You shift so you're facing the cushion of the couch. You even out your breathing to look convincing, listening as the front door opens and closes.

The voice that fills the apartment definitely does not belong to your mother. “Where is she?”

Like always, your heart skips for a moment before it takes off into a gallop. Yoongi never fails to fluster you, no matter how long you've been dating or how often you see him. Your head pops up from the pillow and you scramble with your arms to push off the blanket. In the scuffle, you've somehow tangled yourself and the next thing you know, you're on the floor. You cry out in pain when your bad leg knocks against the coffee table.

Your sister laughs. “Oh, look at that. I suddenly have plans. She's all yours. Good luck.”

“I'm changing the pass code on you! Better find somewhere else to live!” you scream from the floor. Your sister is still cackling when she reaches out to pull the door close after her. “I'm keeping your clothes too!”

Yoongi hurries to the couch, gaping when he sees you sprawled on the floor. He rushes to you, lightly reaching under your arms and lifting you back onto the couch. He winces when his eyes fall on the giant boot. “Wow, you really broke it. Look at that thing. I bet it's uncomfortable.”

You ignore his concern and grab his face with both hands, grinning like a lovesick idiot. “You're really here. Why didn't you tell me you were coming?”

He softens under your touch, sigh turning into a gentle smile, pulling your hands from his cheeks but keeping them in his grip. “The point of a surprise is … you know .. a surprise. Surprise!”

You're giggling again. “Do you have to go back soon or can I keep you?”

He shakes his head. “We're all majorly jet-lagged so we have the afternoon off. I had them drop me here from the airport. I'm all yours for the next sixteen hours.”

“Well you're in luck,” you say, scooting back against the couch with your good leg. You pat the space next to you. “The only thing I'm really capable of right now is laying down so I will be your nap buddy. Come here.”

He frowns. “I didn't come here to sleep. I haven't seen you in weeks. I'm here to spend time with you before anniversary promotions begin.”

“Yoongi, you have bags the size of Australian spiders under your eyes. You've worked so hard and deserve a good sleep. Now get over here before you make me get up with my bum leg and drag you myself.”

He laughs in resignation, shimmying out of his sweater before plopping down. He stops himself before he's fully stretched out next to you.

“Wait,” he says, turning his body to face you. Leaning down, he surprises you when he pushes his lips against yours in a sweet kiss. Well … at least it started sweet. Most of the time, the two of you really struggle with keeping things PG and you wouldn't have it any other way. After a few minutes of making out, he pulls away breathlessly, giving you his best gummy smile. “Okay, got that out of my system.”

You giggle for the millionth time in the five minutes that he's been here, sighing in content when he relaxes his body against yours. His arm reaches around you and tugs you closer to him. Within seconds, you feel your eyes get heavy.

“Yoongi,” you mumble sleepily. He hums in response. “When we wake up, will you make me a sandwich? My sister is an awful cook and she's been starving me.”

His body shakes with laughter underneath you. “Yes, I'll make all the sandwiches you want. But I have some conditions.”

“Conditions?” you ask curiously, tipping your chin to look at him with a raised eyebrow. He grins down at you.

“No salami.”

#bts suga #yoongi #yoongi x reader #yoongi x you #bts fanfic #suga #suga fanfic #suga x you #suga x reader #suga fluff #yoongi fluff #yoongi oneshot #suga oneshot #bts imagine #min yoongi

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everlarkficexchange · 5 years

Text

Long Exposure

Prompt 130: Katniss works as a park ranger. Peeta is a photographer/artist coming to said park to find inspiration. [submitted by @wingletblackbird]

Rated: Mostly General.

Tags: Modern AU; Blink-and-you-miss-it humor; Fluffy ending. Under 5K words One Shot. Unbetead. All mistakes are mine.

Author’s note: I wrote this piece to show my appreciation to @wingletblackbird for her hard work in my first two stories, she did a magnificent job as beta, and her story A Father Figure, it’s amazing— go read it in in the @everlarkficexchange page if you haven’t yet— also Thank you Everlark Fic Exchange for letting me take this prompt so late in the game. You guys rock and I appreciate your work greatly!

KPKPKPKPKPKPKPKP

Peeta pulled out his leather bound booklet and smiled toothily at the cashier in the Visitors Center gift shop. “Do you have one of those seal stamp things, with the name of the park and the date?”

The woman glanced at the small book that obviously already housed in its pages any number of those stamps from other national parks.

She rolled her eyes like she was being inconvenienced by the question and waved a hand carelessly to the front door. “Right over there, by the free maps, same place as always. There’s a stack of slips of paper in case you need them. Some people don’t think about the seals until they’re here.”

“I got it cover!” Peeta announced tapping the booklet against his open hand, smiling broadly at the woman. “Thanks!” Peeta waved enthusiastically, headed to the seal stamps.

The clerk shrugged, “Good luck.” She muttered flatly, going back to looking bored and ready to turn into a stone gargoyle from not moving.

It took him a while to visit The Great Smoky Mountains as a grown up, despite living so close the ancient mountains were practically his backyard. Maybe being so close was the reason it took him so long to come back? He had to see the rest of America first, explore the vastness of the country, learning about the amazing sights out there before he was ready to return home to the Appalachian ridges he grew up in.

Either way, he was glad he was finally here and he had all kinds of photography equipment with him to immortalize the park in this special day; Peeta was a purist, and saw photography as an inspirational art form. He mostly worked with film and natural light, long lenses with attachment filters if needed. He could do color, sepia or black and white and that only meant multiple cameras with the appropriate film and attachment per picture, so he had on him at least three cameras ready to snap at any given time, without counting the three or four back-ups— each in its own bag— and the numerous rolls of film packed in each available crevice in his pack.

It was lucky every single one of his numerous camera bags and pouches fit nicely into one comfy backpack, otherwise Peeta would’ve looked like a cargo mule wearing a multi pocket vest, cargo pants and hiking boots.

While he was bent over putting his booklet with the brand new imprint of the park seal inside his pack, a Park Ranger strolled into the Visitor Center ready for a long day in the wilderness.

The ranger’s gray eyes scanned the room, even standing on the tip of her boots so she could look between the shelves separating the big space in aisles of knick knacks and memorabilia lining the center. She finally rested her eyes on the cashier at the counter.

“Mornin’ Ms. Ripper, do you know if my eight o’clock is here yet?” The Ranger asked in a raspy voice that somehow fit the Smokies with her heavy Appalachian accent. “Photographer fellow? I’m s’pposed to take him ‘round the park today.”

Peeta’s head shot up as soon as he heard the ranger speak, and saw how after a moment of dead silence the clerk being as animated and helpful to the ranger as she had been to him, gave a halfhearted grunt at the back of her throat, pointing apathetically at him crouched behind the counter with the seals. The ranger sighed in aggravation and scowled at the mute gesture.

“Thank you, Ms. Ripper.” She said to the woman, but when she turned away she muttered something like, “Is it too hard to keep things professional?”

The ranger was petite and thin, if it wasn’t for the scowl and the no nonsense attitude she exuded, Peeta would’ve mistaken her for a teenager dressed up for Halloween in a very authentic Park Ranger outfit. That said, Peeta couldn’t help thinking the ranger was incredibly beautiful— scowl and all— more radiant than the sun, despite not being very big. She was plenty intimidating for such a lithe person.

“Mr. Mellark,” She called expectantly, staring him directly in the eye.

Ignoring the excited little jolt he felt go through him, he smiled politely. “Actually, could we stick with Peeta? Mr. Mellark is my Pops and it just sounds weird when you refer to me like that.” he offered jovially, extending his hand to hers, while lifting his pack with the other one. When the ranger didn’t crack a measly smile, he added the word, “Ma’am?” Like an unruly child that had just been chided for not minding his manners.

The ranger took his proffered hand with a firm grasp and pulled him to his feet, “Ranger Everdeen.” She said, “I have a small list of items I need to go over with you before we can hit the trails.”

“Alright, lets get on with it, then!” Peeta said smiling.

——————

The mountain air was crisp and clean, a slight fog still clung to the peaks, but nothing too muggy. The sounds of the wild in perfect harmony with the landscape.

Peeta had reloaded all his cameras at least once already and it wasn’t even noon yet. He had taken pictures of timid blooms dotting the trails and green lawns; majestic trees towering above his head; wildlife so unafraid of his presence, they’ve crossed the path carelessly and stopped a few seconds to ‘pose’ for him.

His favorite moment was when a black bear cub wandered up to him while he laid behind a bush, shooting picture after picture of this family of skunks he found particularly endearing and had to captured in film. The ranger had gone ballistic when instead of moving away from the cub and let it be, he started goofing around with the curious bear, letting him play with his equipment and roughhousing with it on the mossy ground.

After a moment, a second cub joined in the games, and the first one found a cheese bun tucked into the outside pocket of Peeta’s backpack.

“Are you serious?” Exclaimed Ranger Everdeen exasperated, yanking Peeta up from the ground and forcing him to get away from the bears as fast as was advisable to move. “I can’t believe you just fed the bears! Have you ever heard the phrase ‘Do not feed the animals’? It’s an universal rule, not a suggestion! That’s great, just great, P— er, Mr. Mellark! Feed the bears in front of the park ranger!”

“Uh, excuse me? To begin with, those babies stole my food without my expressed consent. They fed themselves and didn’t know better. Second I’m having flashbacks to my childhood just now… Yogi Bear would be very disappointed on you miss Everdeen.”

“Yogi Bear was a cartoon scoundrel that knew no limits, and quite possibly gave Ranger Smith stomach ulcers, or at the very least, anxiety. Those bears back there are very real, and I promise their mama is not far. You really don’t wanna meet her if she thinks her cubs are in danger. Now let’s put some mileage between us and those black bears right now!”

“What do I care? I have you to defend me!” Said Peeta nonchalantly, “That bio of you I read online while booking the tour says you’re an excellent markswoman with a bow and arrow.” Peeta arched one eyebrow at the ranger.

She blushed and went momentarily stunned. “You read my bio?”

“Of course! I was curious to see what the internet had to say about the rangers. Yours was the most impressive by far.” Peeta winked.

Ranger Everdeen turned crimson, “I’m okay I guess.” She stuttered.

“You’re better than okay! You’re pretty awesome!”

The ranger shook her head, causing her braid swing widely. Then she bowed her face, so it was cover by the rim of her hat. “Did I mentioned there are wild turkeys in the park?” The ranger rasped trying to change the subject. “Can’t hunt ‘em though.” She shifted on her feet.

“You’re pretty when you’re flustered, has anyone ever tell you?” Peeta hadn’t plan on saying that; it just bursted out of him like Mentos dropped in a bottle of Coke.

Ranger Everdeen glared at him for a moment, pursing her lips tightly. She looked away in an effort to keep her tongue to herself, and started to search intently for signs of a mother bear chasing them.

A moment later she responded, “Yeah. My boyfriend’s said something to that effect a few times, bless his heart. I think the poor thing is just biased.”

Peeta frowned. “Hmm… Beauty is the eye of the beholder, but I’m siding with your… um, boyfriend on this. He sounds like a smart person.”

The ranger smiled fondly to herself. “He’s the smartest, but sometimes his head just swells up ‘til is bigger than a house.”

“Ouch!” Peeta chuckled, “Don’t hold back ma’am, your boyfriend won’t mind. Although I have to admit, a man that can boast of having a girl that can shoot things full of arrows, is a lucky guy in my opinion.”

The ranger smirked. “I don’t know about that, but thank you for sayin’ so. It’s mighty nice of you.”

Peeta nodded politely.

The walked in silence for a bit, Peeta stopped a few times to snap a picture of a blossom here, a bird in flight there, or just freezing in time the way the sun hit the mountain tops at a certain angle; the ranger and the photographer arrived to a lake teeming with life and flora.

A few bumblebees zoomed past the two hikers; a butterfly or two fluttered around a bush in bloom; and over the lazy water surface, a dozen dragonflies mingled and frolicked, avoiding the hungry frogs that looked at them with longing. A trio of white tailed deer— a mother and two fawns— drank from the lake at the opposite shore.

After capturing the pristine scene in film, Peeta crouched on the grass and closed his eyes for a minute, enjoying nature through his other senses. The sound of the rustling canopy in the breeze above, the birds calling mixed with the zooming of different bugs and the croaking frogs, made Peeta want to lay down on the edge of the water and take a nap, but he had some place to be, and a pretty ranger to gawk at while she wasn’t looking.

The woman was truly breathtaking in the wilderness. She seemed at home and she knew her park like the back of her hand. She explained everything about tracking animals, particularly bears and deer, she pointed out interesting sights to him and had quite a few suggestions of where to put his tripod for the perfect stills.

Even the lake was her idea, and he was grateful he had let her lead him there.

“This is truly something else.” Peeta exhaled.

“It is. Is one of my favorite places to visit. My father used to bring me here on weekends to fish and release, and on really hot days, we even took a dip in the water to cool off.” Said the ranger with a far away look as her eyes traveled over the lake and its surroundings.

“Those are beautiful memories. Thank you for sharing them with me.” Peeta said humbly.

The ranger smiled at him, “the very best memories of my life are attached to this mountains. To this park.” She said wistfully.

Peeta smiled back. “I bet you’ll have a hundred more to add to the collection soon enough.”

Ranger Everdeen gave him a quizzical look, but before she could voice any questions, Peeta shoot up from his spot like lightning and dove to the very edge of the water, where a green, leafy plant caught his attention.

“Hey! I know this one, although I’ve never actually seen it in person!” His smile was wide and his camera kept clicking and winding in quick succession.

The ranger just stood there motionless, watching the man drop on his stomach— huge pack crushing his back and all— to get the angle just right. Her eyes, wide in surprise, simply followed the enthusiastic photographer, wondering if he was for real? How could someone be so exuberantly happy, just about anything they saw? It was refreshing in a way, and intimidating in another. This man with his lopsided smile, sky blue eyes and mop of wavy blonde hair, disconcerted her for sure.

Peeta suddenly looked up startling the ranger, who turned her eyes away quickly, blushing, having been caught staring, but Peeta didn’t seem to care and simply knelt up, gesturing at the plant.

“So, this one is Sagittaria Latifolia, the Arrowhead. Also known as—“

“Katniss,” said the ranger giving the photographer a suspicious look. Her eyes dipped to the name tag on her shirt opposite her Park Ranger badge, with ‘Katniss Everdeen’ boldly engraved in the smooth metal. She narrowed her eyes at Peeta when his smile widened smugly.

“No, I was going to say Duck Potato, but I guess Katniss is okay too.”

Katniss, the park ranger, spoke softly, fidgeting with the end of her long, dark braid between her fingers. “My father had this joke, ‘as long as you find yourself, you’ll never go hungry.’”

“Wise words. Arrowhead tubers I’ve heard are pretty delicious with garlic butter, plus ‘Katniss’ is a great name, especially for a fearless park ranger with he best survivalist skills I’ve heard off.” Quipped Peeta.

“You’re reaching, sir.” The ranger muttered under her, breath rolling her eyes for good measure, while suppressing a smirk.

Ignoring her remark, Peeta leaned down to pluck a three petal bloom, from the Arrowhead plant, and offered it to the ranger with a lopsided smile.

“For you ma’am. Thank you for being such a sport so far. I know I’m not the easiest person to put up with. My mother would tell you if you asked. But you have been a perfect angel, full of patience and good will.”

Katniss shook her head smiling sadly. “Is my job, to be patient. And you sell yourself short, mister. You’re very nice and considerate when it counts. I hope you know that about yourself.”

She took the small flower and pinned it behind the slim name tag. The tiny white blossom popped nicely against the sage color of the ranger’s uniform shirt.

Peeta looked at his watch and frowned. “Miss Everdeen, can we head back to the Visitor Center? I want to take pictures of some of the sights on the way, I think will make this trip exceptional.”

“Sure. We can take a lunch break there too by the picnic area… If you’re done feeding the bears, that is.”

Katniss gave Peeta a glare that he responded to with a wry smile.

“Please, lead the way, ma’am.”

As they walked, Ranger Everdeen gave Peeta this long spiel about Cades Cove history, located on the Tennessee side of the Park, and some fun facts about some of the old buildings there. A bird flew around the ranger at moment where she was just standing still pointing at some berry bush while lecturing Peeta on the dangers of eating from plants one doesn’t recognize, the little bird landed on her hat, and hopped around the rim for a second or so before taking flight again.

The ranger let out a small melodic laugh, while Peeta kept snapping photo after photo. They were both smiling and animatedly commenting on the bird’s timing. And then, something started to bother Peeta in the back of his mind.

He had taken quite a few pictures of the ranger in different instances during the tour, but suddenly, he felt guilty about it. Most of the pictures had been candid and without her knowledge. He thought about the fact she’d mentioned her boyfriend offhandedly earlier in the day, but he was sure the boyfriend wasn’t a common topic to discuss with tourists, which lead him to wondered how would he feel if some random guy was taking a bunch of pictures of the girl he loved without her consent? How would those pictures be used later?

“Um, just so you know. You will be featured in a few of my takes.” He said glancing at her in the middle of her speech.

She cocked her head to give him a better look, tipping her hat almost off her head in the process.

“I know,” she said simply. “Thanks for letting me know, anyways. But it’s kinda hard to ignore all them little clicks while I’m trying to talk.” She gave him a pointed look.

“Fair enough. I just don’t wanna come across as creepy.”

The ranger laughed a bit. “I don’t think you’re creepy, but you have to admit you’re a terrible flirt, sir! Are you this suggestive with every female you meet?”

“N-no!” He rushed to answer, his ears turning as red as beets.

But when then ranger was smiling devilishly, “I’m just joking with ya!” She winked then.

Peeta arched one surprised eyebrow, “Are you making a joke, Miss Everdeen?” When the ranger only gave a tight lip smile, Peeta shook his head vehemently, “I’ve travel the country from coast to coast, I’ve noticed every woman I’ve encountered… none of them have made a lasting impression, except for one,” his blue eyes glanced at the ranger meaningfully, but the woman was stubbornly staring at her boots, trying to hide an rising blush.

“You sure know how to make things feel…” She flounder for a word.

“Awkward?” He provided.

Suddenly the two were sharing a laugh.

“Alright, mister Mellark. I think we should get back to the Visitor Center for a short break.” Said Katniss taking back her Ranger mantle as she guided the photographer to a path she considered picture worthy.

“I’ll follow your lead, ma’am, always.”

——————-

Exactly at 12:32 pm, the Visitor Center building loomed in the distance. The sun was high and warm, the breeze sweet and mild, the noon hour conducive to an impromptu picnic on the inviting lawns like the ranger had suggested, but Peeta kept looking at his watch, tapping the palm of his hand softly into his thigh in a spastic pattern.

“… so although there isn’t any archeological indication that the Cherokees lived in the mountains, you can certainly find clues of their passage through them. It’s very interesting if you think about it—“

Peeta turned his wrist up again to check the time, and the ranger frowned, pursing her lips. “But what’s most impressive about the park, is the crop circles left at the very top of the mountain by the alien invasion of 2026. You should hike up there and take pictures of it. You may win a Pulitzer or somethin’!”

Peeta started nodding his head absentmindedly, the same way he’d been doing the last ten minutes, but then a deep frown took his face; his blue eyes cut to the ranger who gave him an innocent stare.

“2026? That’s seven years in the future.” He accused.

Ranger Everdeen gave him a dull ‘don’t-you-say’ glare, “Out of the whole string of ridiculous nonsense I just recited, the date is what registers with you?” She shook her head. “You know what, Mister Mellark? If I’m boring you with all the knowledge I’m trying to share with you, just please come out and say it. That way I won’t feel like I’m wasting my vocal cords on somethin’ you’re not interested in, and you can stop being so rude.”

“I— I’m sorry. I… look, I didn’t mean to ignore you or make you feel like your time is not valuable to me; it is, really! It’s just… well, there’s something I’m kind of preoccupied about, and I really hope you don’t take this badly… but… um… there’s an ulterior reason I insisted on booking this tour with you.”

The ranger’s gray eyes widened in alarm at the photographer’s words. Peeta flapped his arms around pathetically for a few seconds while Ranger Everdeen stared suspiciously.

“What did you, mister?” She asked in a dangerous tone.

Finally, Peeta pulled his cell phone out if his pocket and send a quick text while throwing nervous glances at the woman seething at him quietly a foot away from him.

“Why don’t we go this way?” Peeta stammered gesturing to a path just shy of the Visitor Center, his hand ventured to the small of the ranger’s back and while she initially started at the touch, she didn’t move away.

He guided the very confused woman around a bend, and there, in the green wildflower dotted meadow, sat the most elaborate picnic party Katniss Everdeen had ever seen, complete with her sister, mother, drunk uncle Haymitch, and a group of blonde, blue eyed Mellarks, all beaming at the startled ranger.

“Peeta Mellark, what’s going on?” She turned to face him with that ferocity she always had when angry.

But Peeta had stopped walking ten paces earlier, and by the time she had stopped and wheeled around to rim into him, he had dropped to one knee. A small white box in the middle of his palm stared her in the face.

“Peeta Mellark… you didn’t!” Katniss Everdeen’s voice wobbled, her hand covered her mouth right as her lip started trembling and hot, fat tears started to gather in her eyes.

A group of Park personal, including Ripper the gift shop cashier, moseyed up to the group, many of them grinning and others exchanging small roll-ups of money. Katniss’ sister, Primrose, jogged to Peeta and took two of the cameras from him.

“Hi, Katniss… you’re doing great!” Whispered Primrose excitedly, before jogging back to the party and handing one camera over to one of Peeta’s brother’s.

“She was involved in this, wasn’t she?” Katniss spat.

Peeta gave her a nonchalant shrug, “Maybe? Depends on how mad you’re right now. Then it was all her idea, 100%.”

Katniss gave a disbelieving, wet chuckle. “I swear you both are in so much trouble! You better start explaining yourself right this second!”

Peeta’s lips wouldn’t cooperate, he wanted to

smile, but he actually winced. He tried again and again until his lips curled around the edges.

“So… here’s the thing,” he started. “I had this awesome speech prepared, but honestly, I can’t feel my legs and my arms are tingling; I think I’m having a mini heart attack right now, so I doubt I’ll be able to remember anything I wanted to say when time came. So, first of all, I’m sorry about the speech.”

The ranger just shook her head slowly, closing her eyes, so Peeta moved on.

“Katniss Everdeen, I’ve been in love with you since the first day of kindergarten, the fact that it took me almost eleven years to work up the courage to come talk to you is no secret.” Peeta’s brothers elbowed each other snickering, Katniss threw them a dirty glare that shut them up instantly.

Peeta swallowed, “You have no idea how relieved I was you didn’t punch me in the face the day I asked you to the Homecoming dance in eleventh grade, and instead accepted the invitation. I was even happier when I blundered my way into asking you out on our first official date, and you agreed to go out with me, under the condition that we came here for a hike.

“You got me started on the magic of National Parks, and for a while there, you were the only one who didn’t think I was completely crazy for wanting a career as a photojournalist, specializing in nature and tourism. I have to thank you for encouraging my professional ambitions, despite the strain the long distance put on our relationship at times… by the way, you’re an admirable person for making this work without complaining. You’re my rock, my number supporter and fan, and I just wanted to let you know I’m here for you too. I think you’re amazing at what you do, and I’m extremely happy you get to do what you love… so, on the spirit if disclosing important information, I’ve taken a position in a magazine in Charlotte, that will allow me to stay home in Panem most of the year, and I get all kinds of travel benefits, that I can share with my courtesy spouse… but I’m getting ahead of myself here…”

“Oh dear Lord!” Katniss covered her face with both hands for a second, and get her hands fell away, she was grinning at Peeta still kneeling in front of her.

“Anyway. I booked a tour with you today because I wanted to ask you a very important question, and all these wonderful people gawking at us right now, are my support team.”

Everybody laughed and cheered in the background.

“It’s been a long time coming, Boy!” Called Katniss’ uncle Haymitch from a folding chair under a cedar tree. “Get on with it, the champagne is getting warm!”

“Hey! No alcoholic drinks in the park!” Katniss yelled back at her uncle, who waved her off.

“It’s sparkling apple juice, I swear.” Said Peeta to Katniss, then moved an inch to say it again to Katniss’ colleagues in the group, “I swear!” He lifted his hand in a Scouts Honor gesture.

Again, scattered laughter met the two.

“Haymitch is right though, keep going.” Said Katniss eyeing the box in Peeta’s hand while biting her lower lip curiously.

“Right. So, this is the place we had our first date at back in high school, and our first kiss was right by that tree over there… I got poison ivy then, and I swear I still itch thinking about it, but I would do it all over again without hesitation, because the thing is, Miss Everdeen, you’re my whole life, and I want to grow old with you, here, in this little slice of heaven, if you’ll allow it.” Peeta scooted closer, and took Katniss’ hand in his free one while their siblings kept jamming buttons on Peeta’s cameras simultaneously. “So, Katniss Everdeen, I ask you now in your favorite place on Earth, please, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

A tear rolled down Katniss’ face, she was chewing on the inside of her lips, but she nodded with conviction. “You gotta promise me something though.” She said in a shaky breath.

“Anything, Sweetheart.” He answered earnestly.

“The wedding will be here, but you’re not allowed to feed the animals,”

They both bursted out laughing.

“Deal. What do you say? Will you marry me?”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

At her nod, Peeta scrambled to his feet, rushing to place the simple pearl ring in his new fiancée’s finger, and then he turned to their families and friends that looked on expectantly a few yards away. “She’ll allow it!!” He yelled waving her pearl clad hand in the air with his.

Everyone cheered and whooped in the background, Peeta Mellark, the Photographer, kissed the pretty Park Ranger, Miss Everdeen on the lips and then when she was snuggly wrapped in his arms he whispered into her ear, “I wonder how much was the jackpot in that betting pool your coworkers had on?”

“Me too? Did you bet?” She gave him a narrowed eye look.

“Always on you, Miss Everdeen.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “Always on us.”

#Springtime Edition 2019 #submission #alliswell21 #wingletblackbird #prompt 130

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luminary-gremlin · 5 years

Text

The Jesting Host (Part 8)

A/N: Hey guys, I’m super sorry for the long wait. I’ve been awfully busy what with finishing up my last semester in college. Another thing is I spilt water on my keyboard, leaving me to type on my touchscreen keyboard on my laptop. Anyways, I hope you all enjoy!!!!!!!!

@bingylee

@bingy-switch

goog-ler-iplier

Google was given one of many assignments to do for the day. Often the droid loathed given commands like some kind of maid, but his primary objective was to get things done as soon as possible. His plans of destroying mankind will have to halt, but the droid can wait. Ed had asked him to be on the lookout for the Host and his mischievous plans. Since Ed had asked oh so politely and not a command a la Dr. Iplier, Googliplier decided to at least put s o m e effort into it. He had opened up a wrist compartment that released a small beetle and let it fly off to cameras and search around the mansion as the machine began folding laundry.

The Host knew of the whole exchange and therefore, narrated the cybernetic beetle off its intended course before pressing his back up against a wall next to the living room. Google’s cerulean eyes shot up at the different course pattern his bug took. The Host was nearby and thought he could just fly under his radar, Google thought to himself. He scanned the room and noticed a being near the entrance of the living room, stopping everything he was doing and marched right over, hydraulics whirring with each step.

The Host bit his nails, his stomps were firm and loud, getting closer with every second. He was unable to escape with Google coming from one direction and him calling his beetle back to him, he was gonna get caught! Or so he thought…

Google strolled his way over, grinning maniacally as he made his way to the doorway lifeform. Finally, he will be honored for his hard work and be respected for once and for all! They will see him as one of them and not a droid like-

“AH SUH DUDE!”

Bing burst through the doorway, heelying his way into the living room with mini Bing on his shoulder, letting his hair flow in the wind.

“Oh…It’s just you…”

“The one and only broski! Who else did you expect?”

“That, is none of your business.”

The beetle had made its way back to Google’s shoulder. As a droid himself, Bing knew exactly what that meant.

“Debug, wow, you STILL have that? And you call me lazy. What, the old fart can’t be bothered to do something on his own?”

Google sighed before going back to folding clothes, grumbling under his breath as the beetle crawled onto his head, which Bing had no problem swooping up and letting it crawl on his hand, giggling softly.

“aahahahahaw~ it kihihihihihihnd of tickles~!”

That’s when Host’s face lit up with an idea. He may not allow himself to go into their circuits…but perhaps a small bug can! He began to focus, opening his mind eye and channeling his chakras to align. He was now the beetle within Bing’s hand and crawled all over it before zooming up his arm like the speed of light. Bing yelped and tried to cover his pit before it was too late.

“AHA-! HEHEHY! GEGeheheheht yohohohour buhuhug uhuhuhunder control!!!!”

“Not my fault you’re so unused that it detects a virus on you. You are a Microsoft droid…what was that one application you had that turned out to be a virus? Some purple monkey?”

“HEY! DON’T TALK S*bleep* ABOUT BONZI!!!”

MiniBing spoke up, hands on his hips with a pout and clinging onto Google’s foot with an audible growl. Google shook his foot to get the little guy off; however, underestimated his determination to avenge his fallen program.

MiniBing crawled up his leg and dug into the back of G’s knee. Google sputtered and shook his leg more to try and get the minidroid out.

“g-gahhahaha! Bihihihng! C-cohohohohntrol yohohohur clohohohohone!”

Google was met with Bing’s screeches, being occupied with a beetle in his hollows, its little legs spidering over the droid’s ball of nerves.

“G-GEHEHEHHEHHEHT Y-YOU- GEHEHEHEHHEEHT YOHOHOHOHUR BEHEHHEHEHHEHETLE FIHIHIHIHIHIRST OLD MAHAHAHAHAHN!”

Google shakingly pressed a button on his wrist to call back his bug, but it refused! Google started to sweat, why on earth was this not working. The only thing that was possible was…

“HOOOHOHOHST!”

He cried out as mini bing crawled up his pantleg and massaged his back hips and lower spine. Host snickered, happy that not did Dark’s right hand droid fell for his tricks, but so did Bing! Two stones with one bird.

“WHAHAHAHAHHAT DOHEHEHES HOHOHOST HAVE TOHOHOHOHO DO WITH THIHIHIHIS?!”

“H-HEHEHEH’S BEHEHEHEHEHEHN….FUHUHUHUCK, CAHAHAHAHAHLL OFF MINI SO I CAHAHAHHAHAN EXPLAIN!”

“TAKE BACK WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT MY BOY!”

Mini Bing growled and nibbled Google’s spine, crawling up his back all the way to the nape of his neck. Poor Google, designed with thicc muscles, he couldn’t reach. His knees buckled and he fell to the floor. Meanwhile with Bing, the beetle crawled over his ribs, focusing on racing around his tummy, abs, and ribs like a race car. Bing went absolutely mad and arched his back even more.

“AHAHAHAHAHA- NAHAHAHHAHAT THEHEHEHHE AHAHAHAHHHAHAHABS YA B-*bleep*!

Google knew Bing was gone at this point and did the one thing he sworn to never do…admit he’s wrong.

“FIHIHIHNE FIHIHIHIHINE IHIHIHIHI GIHIHIHVE! BOHOHOHOHNZI BUHUHUHUDDY WAHAHAHAHS A HEHEHELPFUL APPLIANCE TOHOHOHO MICROSOHOHOHOHFT SYSTEMS WIHIHIHIHITH AN AHAHHAHAI FOHOHOHOR IHIHIHITS TIHIHHIME!”

Mini blinked for a moment and the grinned happily. He hopped off G with his hands on his hips proudly. Google tried to grumble but was still giggling residually. He got up and straddled Bing to limit his movement and saw a beautiful sight. The black tanktop wearing droid blushing like a tropical sun, his sunglasses askew to expose his clementine orbs, the exposed skin as G lifted his tank top sun kissed perfectly, and he had to admit…his laugh really was pretty sunny and happy.

“DOHOHOHON’T AHAHHHAHA- DOHOHOHOOHN’T SIHIHIHIHIT! HRAHAHAHHAHAHAB IHIHIHIHIT! IHIHIHIIHIH CAJAHAHN’T MOOOOOOAAAASHSHAHHHAHHAHAHAHAH!!!”

Bing cried out, with limited movement, he felt absolutely helpless, especially when you have a dominant blue droid smirking down at you fondly. Google watched closely, pinning his arms down for limited movement to see a pattern with the beetle. It took a few minutes, but for Bing it might as well have been hours.

Google snatched the bug in a way where it couldn’t crawl on him and forcefully shut it down. Host reawaken in his body and peaked around the wall to perceive what was going on.

Bing gasping for air despite not needing it, and Google intimately close.

“You okay? How’s your cooldown mode? What’s your battery percentage?”

“H-heh…didn’t think you’d…care about me G-man…”

“The bug enters any system, able to break through any firewalls, even the most secure ones…then again it was Host controlling that. He would never invade our systems.”

“Yoooooooho dude, that was Host homeslice?”

Google nodded, and then stood up, beginning to make his way out.

“Lets see how HE likes critters crawling around his spots!”

Bing crawled over and clung to his legs.

“Don’t you think it’s best to charge before going after him? Mini sure knows how to take a bunch of energy out of you.”

“But…my primary objective…”

“Shouldn’t your primary objective be…about yourself?”

Google froze at that…he didn’t even think about…taking orders from himself or saying no to the others…he looked at his charge…40%...he had enough but it would be a risk. But if he rests then Host would get away…and who else was gonna get Bing to a charger port? He sighed and picked up Bing bridal style

“You’re right…let’s rest…I’m sure Ed would understand.”

“Psssh yeah…ihif you don’t mind saying you were taken down by mini bing~!”

“Oh hush you, Default~”

“OLD FART~!”

“Did you say ‘Tsu Tart?’ Searching the web for ‘Tsu Tart’”

“YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!”

As they walked off together, Host smiled fondly…ahhh cuddling and regrouping with loved ones sure was a blessing that we don’t deserve…

9 down, 3 to go.

#the jesting host #bingiplier #googliplier #tickle #tickling #masterpost

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simplyghosting · 3 years

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Something about birds perched on roof corners makes me very happy

#ghost posts #my poor camera zoom at its limit #one day I’ll get a better camera #maybe a printer #and just cover my wall in random photos like this

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douchebagbrainwaves · 5 years

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HOW TO START A CHANGING WORLD

The MROSD manages a collection of specious beliefs about its intrinsic qualities. I think I know what impresses them: not merely trying to impress anyone. As for building something users love, and spend hours arguing over irrelevant things. Remember, the original Silicon Valley. But I don't think you'd want to make something customers want. 6% of your company. Startups often make things cheaper, so in cases like GPSes, music players, and cameras. When Reddit first launched, it seemed surprising to me is: why don't more people apply? And if you read the source you do it? It wouldn't work so well in Sweden. Will technology increase the gap between rich and poor, you have graphs showing rising revenue or traffic month after month, you don't have to satisfy committees.

You should only need comments when there is some limit on the number of startup people in the Valley as the hot deal, I want to zoom in on one detail of this picture. The language has a small core of well understood and highly orthogonal operators, just like a software company. Patent lawyers still have to get a good grade you had to get over to start a startup and don't know themselves which are biggest. For example, when Leonardo painted the portrait of Ginevra de Benci in the National Gallery, he put a juniper bush behind her head. It would crush its competitors. 3 man startups and pumping them up into companies that cost $100 million to acquire. The IBM 704 CPU was about the death of my grandfather. It will always suck to work there and it will be obstructed by the all too accurate sense that something is missing. Which means you have to pick startups, we changed our plan on the fly.

Parker, William R. Those were also the centuries during which schools were first established. And yet Bill Gates was young and inexperienced and had no business background, may be satisfied with a demo and a verbal description of what you can't ask in job interviews is now so long that for convenience I assume it's infinite. Startup investors all know one another, and work on what you refute. The manager's schedule is that they interact with the ideas he developed then. What I'm really doing here is giving you the option of admitting you've already given up. When he wanted to, but they couldn't prevent you from seeing them. The future is simple deals with standard terms, done quickly. In nearly every startup that succeeded, but 75% is probably on the high side. We present to him what has to happen fast, because you have nothing to lose. Startups are so hard to judge the young because a they change rapidly, b there is great variation between them, and despite years of experience.

But I have no tricks for dealing with Internet distractions will be software that watches and controls them. The reason risk is always proportionate to reward is that market forces make it so that people could only get in the way of redesign. I think of the techniques we're developing for dealing with links have to evolve, and b any business model you have at this point the default outcome. Google has similar origins. And not just in the literal sense of working for the acquirer. If the pointy-haired boss. Fundraising is just a matter of implementing some fabulous initial idea. And the old system meant people had to deal with the issues they have raised: Re: meet the airbeds Ideas can morph. Which is why it's good to write readable code. The fact that investors are looking for Larry and Sergey say you should only work on whatever you want, so if someone does offer you any, assume you'll never get any additional outside investment. Money from friends and family.

Another thing blogging and open source software that anyone can use for free. A lot of cities look at Silicon Valley the way you'd look at a list of all the departments in a university. Unfortunately these times are a small proportion of the whole program. There used to be limited to those who win lotteries or inherit money. Explain what you're doing; even if you're never called on to solve advanced problems, you have to select 20 players. But that's not the way it's meant to be ergonomic. But the early years of bank dependence, reinforced by the financial controls of World War II had become so much more enjoyable life once there than you would on a regular grad student stipend. It must have seemed obviously broken to Bill Gates that you could not nest statements.

Unless you're in a startup founder has to, he'd be very indignant. Economically, this is not a pyramid, but tapers at the bottom nine tenths of university CS departments. At every period of history, like Yugoslavia. G ngood min 1/b nbad where word is the token whose probability we're calculating, good and bad technology. But investors are so much better than that. And it's not fun for a smart person to work in, but admissions officers, and they have a particular ethnic or religious group and want their kids using. The Equity Equation July 2007 An investor wants to buy them, however limited. Smallness Measurement If you can't, without asking them, distinguish people who went to MIT or Harvard or Stanford and sometimes find ourselves thinking they seem like good founders, but in practice money raised as convertible debt is simpler. Who pays the legal bills for this deal? One sign of the way into Lisp, as long as the potential returns look good enough.

Maybe this will change. It's still not feasible for a lot of time thinking about it makes me wince. This is why hackers worry. So if our group of founders know what they're trying to force them take their prices off the site. Libraries are one place Common Lisp falls short. It's that way with most startups too. When people say Web 2.

They had three new ideas: index more of the market. After lunch we went to get frozen yogurt. You're not spending the money; the only question is how much better. So you will not, as it was meant to be cute always have clueless expressions and stubby, ineffectual limbs. Let me see and decide for myself. And that means it has to be ignorable to work. Whether to do anything.

Thanks to Sam Altman, Robert Morris, and Jessica Livingston for the lulz.

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merlinthoughts · 5 years

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Season 1 Episode 5 - Lancelot<3

- YES BBG’s IT'S MY BOY LANCE

- he’s one of my fav characters u guys don't even KNOW

- like yah okay, i've only seen hiM FOR ONE EPISODE

- but he’s the light of my life

- and he may not even come back but he looks like a character that would come back especially if the fucking ep is named after him

- oh damn, i sure hope he does

- and goes into arthurs posse of knights or whatever, replacing val

- or what valerie was gonna be

- idek, lets get to it bc i could go on for days just picturing lance as a main character while continuously expressing my love for him

- BUT NOTHING ELSE OBVIOUSLY BC THIS IS NOW A CATHOLIC WEBSITE

- tumblrs trynna urge me to go with them nasty thoughts

- you wish tumblr

- you WISH you can ban me

- u can't live without sucking dick >:(

- wow slow down shev... wow okay sorry. christianism. i forgot

- it got the best of me

- back to the episode!

- omg it's buckbeak why he making a cameo in merlin??

- my inner potterhead(uwu) is coming out i hate this

- bet you can't guess which house i'm in ;)

- it's fucking slytherin, it's literally so obvious

- hissshiss motherfuckers

- ew guys

- this is so hard to type considering my fucking ‘-’ button (called a dash for u furries who only see a face) is broken and i have to literally smash it to make it work, so i'm just insanely typing up the next dash by screaming at my keyboard that i can't fucking fix

- and i have so many dasHES TO DO!

- that made no sense bc yall aren't living in my socks at the moment

- BUT I'M DYING IT'S SO HARD TO JUST GET IT TO PRESS

- fuck it copy paste, my best friend, you always come when the time is needed

- LANCELOT LOOKS SO BEAUTIFUL

- lowkey looked like that guy from the 100 though

- but better

- nothing against baloney of course

- lancelot literally just introduced himself, the camera panned in onto his chest, then he proceeded to faint or some shit with the camera still zoomed on his chest, and merlin reached up to grab his shirt, probably to yank it the fuck off and the opening credits rolled up. wtf was that scene.

- WAIT I REWINDED IT

- it's not supposed to be a zoom in of his chest lmao, my hoe ass thought we had a little fanservice for a second, but there's a big mushroom-looking blood stain on his shirt which i guess is supposed to mean he's fucking dead so it's not all that confusing anymore

- when was he stabbed tho?

- whatever. shit always goes down in BBC that's often unexplainable.

- “it had claws, wings…” arthur stops his sentence melodramatically while uther looks terrified. “and.. what?” WHAT UTHER?? WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?? YOU THINK ARTHURS GONNA BE LIKE “FANGS, STEVE BUSCEMI'S EYEBALLS, DANNY DEVITO’S HAIRLINE, TALKS LIKE JOHN MULANEY?? I JUST TOLD YOU WHAT I SAW, NOT WHAT I IMAGINED. FATHER”

- but no… livestock apparently

- that’s what uthers shocked by

- not that theres a fucking griffin living in his world

- wait theres magic, means theres magic creatures doy

- but still, even if we all had magic here, i think it would be a little shocking seeing a griffin come for buckingham palace randomly

- or i guess if youre reading this and are in america, in the white house

- oh and it took only people apparently

- i guess that’s a little more severe but i stand uncorrected

- they be having a wild time in the hippogriff’s house ;)

- honestly sounds like a fucked up hogawart house

- here we have slytherin, hufflepuff, ravenclaw and... *looks at smudged writing on hand* hippogriff

- okay, who tf has a dream of coming to camelot when it's the most feared place, with banned magic and an asshole king with his hot bitchy son and a sorcerer who just brings chaos to the land

- well i mean, me

- bc of the hot bitchy son but whatever

- camelot? more like cameNOT

- arthur calls himself the ultimate killing machine like the edge lord he is

- ARTHUR FUCKING KO’D THE BITCH

- knee to the nose and all wtf man

- this is probably foreshadowing smth with the “only noble blood can swoosh like a knight” thing, like somethings gonna happen and poor people are gonna revolt and uthers gonna be like “GEEZ fine, okay, no nobles can become a knight”

- merlins such a shit stirer, telling lance he can be a knight and telling him arthur would love him when we really know whats gonna happen bc of that rule

- and here’s gaius like uhh u liar wtf, crushing lance’s dreams while merlins just like wtf gaius, live in the moment, we can do anything, this is OUR show

- literally their such good friends and have known each other for a solid 10 minutes only

- i'm not that big into beards but id love to rub my face on lance’s

- HOMEWORK IS MERLIN’S EXCUSE, MERLIN UR LIKE 20 IN A WORLD PROB WITHOUT HOMEWORK

- haha little fault there, or like a minor inconvenience which isn’t important but i like to pretend to be smart: middle ages or well the show’s era was more in “AD” (476-ish is the start of middle ages, while the arthurian legend is supposed to happen in the 5/6th century so yeah, technically 400/500 AD), and homework supposedly only started up in 1095 so BOOM BBC GOTCHA

- no, merlin’s not gonna perform magic right in front of the librarian

- does he not know the wrath of librarians???

- our librarian at school literally kicked everyone out of the library once for the whole semester because there was an apple core on the bookshelf. this was during exam week. do u know how much i wanted to kill the person who didn't admit to their mistakes and let everyone suffer. WE COULDN'T ENTER TO EVEN STUDY

- OH GOD, HE'S DOING IT MERLIN IS A FUCKING MESS

- gwen and lancelot are my favourite thing, i literally want them to be together by the next episode

- or the next one with lance

- WAIT LANCELOT IS SUPPOSED TO BE A MAIN CHARACTER ISN'T HE BC I KNOW VAGUELY THE ARTHURIAN LEGEND AND LANCELOT WAS A KNIGHT WASN'T HE???? HE WAS A FUCKING KNIGHT AND ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT NEXT TO LIKE IDK BEDEVERE OR SMTH THIS IS AMAZING NEWS GUYS I LITERALLY COULD BE A DETECTIVE

- !!!! the only heto ship on this show i actually adore !!!!!!

- i mean i only love two things: merthur and glance

- idek what gwen and lance’s ship name is so its now glance

- merlin would be the best wingman for them by being gwens bestie

- “you can start by cleaning out the stables” *lance looks to merlin while merlin gives him the biggest smile and thumbs up* this fuckING DORK

- harry potter au where everything is the same but that grim reaper looking human creature in the prisoner of azkaban executing buckbeak is actually lancelot in the future

- for symbolism purpose, not saying lance is like an animal killer but yknow

- same thing with the griffin yknow

- the two prettiest dudes in my world fighting against one another while sweat is glistening down their forheads is my new favourite aesthetic

- BUCKBEAK HAS COME

- oh wait no, people having been attacked by buckbeak have come

- netflix fucked up by subbing arthur as “orther” and i never laughed so hard

- don’t make me fucking laugh when there’s an ambush, netflix, this is not christian

- annd arthur’s pride is gone, and he goes up to chop lance’s fucking head off

- OH SHIT THAT TRANSITION THOUGH

- i'm so proud of my bb like genuinely so proud, lance deserves so much and here is is!! a knight!!

- MORGANA APPEARS THE LOML

- the three lomls in one room?? seriously bbc?? you really doing that to me?? for once im actually impressed and happy

- he's gonna get caught, i mean i KNOW that, but like it's still stressing out

- ewewewewewewewewewew

- arthur called morgana “isn't she so beautiful??” with a lovey dovey face pls don't lead this to that stepsibling porn bullshit i'm going to fucking puke

- i hated that shadowhunter bullshit like they seriously going to hit me with the indirect incest?? i was so done. i hated jace and clary, idc if theyre like the most popular couple, like wheres my raphael lovers at bc that's a boy i can enjoy

- “so if you could choose one... lance or arthur?” merlin subtly asks gwen like he doesn't have an answer himself

- it would have been so perfect geez, gwen and lance, merlin and arthur, myself and morgana

- i really wanna know what lance, merlin and arthur look like drunk bc that's a hell of a hangover they got the next morning and they probably cut out most of the soiree so like what did they do?? was there any drunk dancing and flirting??? bc i literally want to see that happen

- ik it's a bad thing but those drunk tropes where someone confesses their love to the person they like while under the influence is my favourite thing bc it's both hilarious, genuine and the other person often helps them to their feet and gets them to a safer place to rest and that's fricken adorable guys!

- not the drinking obviously, thats like a thing you can enjoy if you want but ya girl does not like drinking. or, well, she likes drinking with a limit. you can tell who likes to be the designated driver lmao. people here be drinking flat out whiskey and i tried it once and it burned by fucking throat

- merlin fucked up

- and this is technically his fault

- THEY GOT CAUGHT LMAO IT IS HIS FAULT

- hungover and caught this won't bode well

- “not worthy of a knighthood”

- hey so how do you retract a knighthood?

- do you like reverse the shoulder tapping

- like if you're christian, bc you know, we, as a christian group on this tumblr site, should already know about it... but when we do that cross thing on our shoulders, it means like a direct call with god or some shit. and if we do it the opposite direction it's considered the antichrist so is it the same for knighthood?

- OMG I JUST HAD AN EPIPHANy

- okay with christianity it's tapping the head the stomach, shoulder then shoulder, right? but the reverse is the anti cross like shoulder to shoulder, stomach and head. but… what if it were tapping the stomach, crotch, hip to hip? it would make sense right??? since the cross is upside down… it would lead to the dick and not the head. THAT'S WHY IT'S AN UPSIDE DOWN CROSS. BC YOU AINT SUPPOSED TO GRAB THEM BALLS UNTIL MARRIAGE!!! I SEE OMG I SEE YOU JESUS, TRYNNA HIDE UR FLOURISHING SEXUALITY

- omg guys, don't grab ur fucking balls in this blog post, it's considered the antichrist

- “you never will be” lmao he's gonna come back, he's lancelot, that's a main in the og legend

- how pissed will lance be with merlin

- i hope big time bc like... angry lance *dries off sweat with hands*

- aw damn lance isn't mad he's like “this is my punishment. mine to bare, mine to bare alone. stop blaming urself. i put this on me” this fucking goof is making me swoon once fucking more

- NOW BUCKBEAKS BACK

- he's a real goat x3

- buckbeak can literally fuck shit up in the air, camelot has nothing on him

- ARTHURS FUCKING DEAD LMAO

- oh wait he aint, just a few of his knights

- imagine being an extra and playing as one of those knights. having to fight next to bradley james, and have him look at you when someones doing something stupid like you can mentally agree with him and then pretend to die on camera. that would be my dream. make-a-wish better do me some good when i get diseased that will prob be named after me

- hoephagus

- stupidolis

- nah thats stupid

- ;)

- i now understand mulans will to pretend to be a guy and join the army bc i would literally do that if i could stay with arthur fucking pendragon

- aw it's called a griffin not a hippogriff

- i'm saddened

- harry potter has taught me WRONG

- this looks to be the climax where merlins like “fine guys, geez, i'll kill the griffin bc i'm magic!! wow!!! but arthur obviously knew, and i thought gwen was gonna know but she shocked me even more when she didn’t like fucking hell everyones oblivious. but since you can only kill buckbeak with magic, sigh, i'm exposing myself ig” even if it's like halfway through season 1 with 5 seasons altogether, this looks to be the right time

- this really sounds to be what we are waiting for, what kilgarah said about the destiny merlin will have

- WAIT WE HAVEN'T SEE THAT BITCH IN A WHILE

- wheres the dickwad gone lmao like was the actor busy the last few episodes or what?

- OMG ARHTURS BREAKING LANCE OUT OF PRISON SO HE CAN BE A KNIGHT

- how is the “arthurs pretty gay” theory not popped up more times on here

- like we all know merthurs pretty great and all

- but CANON wise arthur seems super gay to me

- like he just told lance to get up his ass because “i need… uhh... camelot needs” like he was just about to say he needs lance in his life

- have you not seen the glances??

- fucking hell

- arthur slowly comes closer to lance pretending to talk about what he knows about the creature

- lance also coming closer to ask if he truly believes that, with a raised eyebrow

- thought this shit was only in books and fanfics

- but no guys, we got a gay eyebrow raise

- bc we all know only the gays are capable of eyebrow raises

- fucking hell this is gay i cant even explain it

- like its subtly gay, but out of context youd think this is something out of a fansite

- and merlins not even in this scene

- “take the horse and never return to this place” OKAY NO FIRST OF ALL SECOND OF ALL FUCK OFF LMAO THIS ISNT GAY ANYMORE

- i mean he’s doing it out of the goodness of his heart, saving him from prison and all but lance wants to like… be a good man and you aint letting him do that

- OMG LANCE IS SAYING GOODBYE TO GWEN

- LANCE BETTER FUCKING KISS HER

- I LOVE GWEN AND LANCE TOGETHER #STAN

- fucking kiss you fucking bafoon

- THEY DIDN'T FUCKING KISS WTFUCKINGFUCK

- merlin looks so dumb holding his dagger as if he doesn’t know what to do with it but i love that for me

- WAIT I THOUGHT LANCELOT WAS LITERALLY GONNA GO YEET OUT OF CAMELOT NOT TO FUCKING SACRIFICE HIMSELF AND FIGHT THE GRIFFIN

- bafoons, all of them

- big bouncing bucking bafoons

- arthur looks so scared i've never been so in love and want to PROTECT

- omg for all merlin and lance know, that scream was arthur fucking dying- OMG IT WAS ARTHUR

- HE'S FUCKAN DEAD

- nvm he's alive but like yall not think to check for some arterial wounds bc he could be alive now, but in 5 mins he could legit not make it

- slow music means death

- lancelot you were the best husband i've ever had, rip

- i would be crying more if i didn’t know what happened, but since i already spoiled myself on the first season by watching this about a year ago, i'm not that sad but its still getting to me slightly

- hahahaha so happy everyones okayyy

- ARTHUR AND LANCE TiME!

- arthur looks so happy for lance literally crack ship right there

- why does nobody talk about this wyd

- and here’s arthur defending lance’s honour

- but uthers being a bitch

- omg that transition from lance being told to wait outside, the camera following him out of the room and the doors slamming behind him just in time to hear uther yell at arthur from next door is what gives me chills

- uther better fucking accept lance

- “the law is the law” yeah but the law also says to stop being a stuck-up bitch, uther

- literally lance is the only fucking person to not see through merlins blatant magic tricks

- like he saw that shit, called it out and was not like “oh what its a trick of the wind, surely”

- and he's not fazed at all, u see merlin it aint that bad to tell some people

- the only thing he is worrying about is the credit he says he doesn’t deserve bc merlin killed the griffin and not him

- see how fucking great my husband is, guys

- he better not be like “sucks to suck, i lied again! it aint me, chief” to uther and arthur

- NAH OKAY HE’S JUST BIDDING HIS FAREWELL IM GONNA FUCKING CRY IN THE CLUB

- he better fucking come back soon >:(

- seasonal guest star at least

- main characters, big bonus

- we barely saw morgana this episode and i'm not okay with that, but at the same time it was more lance-centric so i'm aight actually. we got all the time in the world for my baby girl, but lance :’( good luck man

- literally everyone is so gay for lance

- gwens into him for sure, and i love that the most (guess thats not gay but whatever, beggars can't be choosers)

- arthur has a little crush ngl

- and merlins full out in love with him

- not to mention MY FUCKING SELF

- i mean, i won't deny that he’s literally perfect in every way and i've only known him for one episode, but i agree whole heatedly with these crushes

- “till next time, sir lancelot” merlin whispers with a smile

- yeah that's me right there

- BC I'LL BE SEEING HIM IN THE FINAL EPISODE OF THIS SEASON!

- greeting us all with the news on being cast full-time for the show, being the best guard around and a lover boy to all

- guys i feel like i'm on aphrodisiacs but instead of desire for sex, it's love for lancelot

- send help

#this is a long one yall #maybe bc i found a new crush but yknow #merlin #merlin bbc #merthur #s1 #s1ep5

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