#my pride flag with someone and calm down for a while

[mogoce-nocoj]

München, 04.12.23

okay! now that I've actually managed to arrive home from Munich and had the day to calm down for a bit, I'm just gonna link xia's munich report here (because it includes most of the important bits) and add some of the stuff that I keep thinking about

Watching the Khäärijä OF videos during queueing was so funny because everyone was caught between feeling slightly embarrassed and really interested

I arrived later but apparently Kris and Jan (I think) walked through the wrong door and the queue had to show them where to go into the venue

the queue system worked perfectly and I can't thank all the people responsible for it enough for implementing it

I know people have been talking about how Nace has this energy when he's right in front of you and I get it now. I do. When he was close I had my own "oh." moment about him. like, wow.

Bojan was in such a good mood, joking around and telling stories and really looking like he was enjoying the concert and being close to the crowd

Bojan during plastika holding a pride flag “don't be plastic, be fantastic”

During queueing I jokingly suggested that I was gonna clap the rhythm to vem da greš which they did during the nordic tour but stopped doing afterwards; what I didn't consider was that I was so close to the stage that Bojan actually noticed me doing it and proceeded to give me the softest smile. I can't tell you what having his full attention does to a person because, phew. don't think I'll ever recover

When Bojan caught the bracelets people were admiring him for it and he very loftily said “so does anyone want to throw a baseball?” before being bombarded by other gifts. his face really changed from being suave to slight panic in only a few seconds, that was a really funny thing to experience (it wasn't a bad panicked face, no worries)

there were a bunch of Slovenian people in the crowd and Bojan really enjoyed bantering with them

I think someone said it already but I want to stress how funny it was that they only made it to Munich because the organiser booked their flight to Memmingen. like why would you do that. it did save them though

Okay, just a bit of bokris stuff (because they are always in my heart after all, even if they decide to bully me whenever I'm in the crowd)

yes kris didn't sing ngvot (that's my curse, apparently) but in contrast to wrocław there was an actual conversation going on where Kris told Bojan to sing it which was cute

Bojan caressed Kris's chest at some point and I'm so sad I didn't get that on video because it was really soft

I think after Vienna Bojan's convinced that “Zugabe” is a literal translation of “one more” because he kept repeating it so often lol

after the encore Bojan apparently took the wrong exit and had to bolt across the stage to the other door making everyone turn around in confusion

I know this report is very Bojan focused but he really just draws you in, in particular in the middle. like you just have to give him your attention and while I also enjoy being at the back, being at the front and having no choice but to be focused on him is also really an experience

(I can't thank xia enough for buying the jo sweater for me because for one second i forgot that I was in Germany and could only pay in cash and nearly had a breakdown thinking I couldn't get it. I'm living in that sweater now, btw.)

the crew were really trying to get us to leave after the show like repeating “what are you standing around here, the band is gone” and while I get it, it was very funny considering that we weren't actively waiting for them and just got caught up in conversation (and Bojan and Nace posting the Hojan shirt)

... this might've turned out longer than I expected, I think Turku will always be my favourite because it was my first Joker Out gig but this one is getting pretty pretty close. thanks to all the people I met and got to talk to and who made this gig such a wonderful experience ❤️

#joker out #joker out munich #München gig

[pokemonbiologyirlthetabletop]

Sylveon (#700)

Sylveon (#700)

Mutabellus fabulamor

General Information: Sylveon is able to produce a soothing aura through its ribbon-like feelers (yes, that’s what those things are on its body, feelers), which can be used to lower hostilities and even end conflicts. Sometimes, while trying to calm someone/something down, it will use its feelers to perform a dance. These feelers are also used to, for example, wrap around someone’s arm in order for Sylveon to understand the individual’s feelings. Alternatively, it may use its dancing feelers to distract its prey, then pounce. Sylveons are also known for being very brave Pokémon who will charge head-first at Pokémon far bigger than itself in an effort to protect others, especially dragon-type Pokémon. In lands where Dynamaxing/Gigantamaxing exists, the Sylveon’s bravery is often the subject of folkloric praise.

Some suspect a connection to a strong source of magic in the environment, like Leafeon or Glaceon, and others still think its evolution is in the same grouping as Umbreon and Espeon (an evolution based on love), but ultimately no one is entirely sure because wild Sylveon are very rare. It is hard to study Pokémon evolution if wild counterparts are hard to come by, after all.

Habitat: They live mostly in temperate forests, or in and around human settlements. Wild specimens are few and far between.

Diet: Omnivore, will eat just about anything you give them that is actually food. They do not have the same high energy needs as Jolteons and Flareons, but they are on average the largest of the Eeveelutions. Large creatures typically need to eat more than smaller ones. Don’t worry, your Sylveon will in fact probably try to use Baby-Doll Eyes on you to get you to share your pizza with it.

Conservation: Least Concern

Relationship to Humans: Sylveons are highly associated with human settlements by a wide margin greater than any other Eeveelution, either the ones known to science or the ones that remain undiscovered or exist primarily in folklore. In universe, this is not really understood why and it provides strong evidence for why many scientists believe that Sylveons are in the same evolutionary grouping as Umbreon and Espeon. On a meta level, we know this is because wild Eevees probably do not experience enough strong affection levels in time before they evolve into something else, so basically the same reason that Umbreons and Espeons are not terribly common either compared to Glaceons, Leafeons, Vaporeons, Flareons, and Jolteons.

Sylveons can be found in just about any job field under any type of person or trainer. They are difficult to raise an Eevee to evolve into, but any trainer with enough love, care, and determination can achieve a Sylveon evolution.

In order for someone to become a Great Rank-Certified Pokémon Breeder (the next rank above a Certified Breeder), that person must have a Sylveon that they raised from an Eevee, and it must be documented (unless another Pokémon that evolves with the Affection mechanic is introduced). This is a non-optionable requirement. As such, Sylveons are often seen as one of the many symbols/mascots of the Pokémon Breeder world, alongside Togepi.

Sylveons are common sights in healthcare settings because of their calming abilities and ability to read someone’s emotions. They are incredibly supportive Pokémon.

Additionally, Sylveons are often associated with the transgender community due to its colorations (both regular and shiny) being the same as the transgender pride flag. Sylveons and Azumarills are often paired together as Pokémon representations of transgender pride.

~~~~~~~~

Hey guess what, if you like my stuff, this is my website where you can find other Pokémon I've written on and more information about the game that I’m slowly making! Check it out! I write books sometimes too.

#repost #sylveon #eeveelution #eeveelutions #pokemon #pokemon biology #pokemon biology irl #pokemon biology irl tabletop #pokemon tabletop #tabletop #tabletop homebrew #homebrew #ttrpg #happy pride month #transgender pride #happy pride #terfs do not reblog #happy pride :)

[zuzanwrites]

"Hey, You're Bleeding!" (Optimus x Reader Story)

(from: https://pin.it/5eeGE87)

Disclaimers: Negative talk of the Self, Self Harm and potential Depression and Suicide implied.

Ped Steps = Footsteps

Digit = Finger

Faceplate = Face

Characters Mentioned: Miko, Ratchet and Optimus Prime.

"Hey, you're bleeding!" I look to where Miko is referring to and noticed that my right arm was bleeding. I immediately try to clean and cover it up before putting my hands behind my back. I must have cut myself too deep with a small piece from my broken tablet stand last night.

I tried to acknowledge it but not make a big deal of it. "I must have hit my arm on something last night." I said, scratching the back of my head before giving an attempted natural laugh before going to the base's bathroom down the hall.

I was washing off my right arm before noticing my left arm was starting to bleed too. "Shit." I started to pace while my arms were both tightly wrapped in towels. "What am I going to do? If I go out like this everyone is sure to question me." I quickly started texting Miko.

"Don't say anything, I'll handle it myself. Please." It sent.

I tried to think of what to say to take her mind off it for a couple of seconds. So I sent, "Your next 4 ice creams are on me." It was starting to get warm so this was bound to work.

I saw three dots and Miko's reply saying, "Fine."

I put my phone away and checked my wrists and noticed they stopped bleeding, so I took a deep breath and headed for the couch next to Miko.

It was barely even five minutes before I heard Ratchet's annoyed but firm voice say,

"(Y/N), may I speak with you please?"

I quietly ground my teeth slightly afraid of what Ratchet was going to ask about. As time was ticking by I sighed and mumbled, "No more delaying the inevitable." So I went to Ratchet's fenced-off area, I guess that's what you can call it. "Yeah Ratchet?" I said as normal as possible.

"Someone told me that you may have cut your own wrists. is this true?" Ratchet asked with a strong look of concern on his face.

I tried to deny it and bring something dumb and stupid "to light", instead before looking away. "No... and that "someone-"", I air quoted, "-was most definitely Miko."

"I can tell that you're lying (Y/N). Have you done anything to help or solve this?" Ratchet worriedly asked.

"I have seen a therapist about it and she did prescribe me medicine to help which I have taken daily. But I stopped seeing them because I don't have the money to see them anymore. I don't have $120 a month to "throw away" really..." I started to feel ashamed of myself now. "It doesn't get to that extent that often but I messed up last night." I was trying to not get emotional when I started hearing loud ped steps going in the direction of the main room.

"What is... Going on everyone?" A deep, low voice asked. I breathed in before starting to walk away but stopped in my tracks the second I heard Ratchet's voice start to speak. Then my heart started to sink because everything I just told Ratchet was being whispered to Optimus. I looked behind me and saw them talking.

I need air.

I need to get out of here.

This is too much.

I can't feel my own breath.

I quickly ran to the elevator that went to the top of the base and went in. It was a beautiful sunset and was exactly the reverse of the pride flag (showing purple, blue, green, yellow, orange and red). I sat not close to the edge but close enough that just my heels and a good chunk of my calves were off the edge. I took a deep breath and admired the sunset enjoying the calm that I desperately needed.

Even though it was close to a half hour, it was short because before I knew it, I heard heavy ped steps walking towards my direction. I sighed, "If you're expecting answers, prepare to be disappointed because I don't have any really..." I heard a loud thump next to me and looked and saw Optimus sitting next to me, with his peds and lower calves completely over the edge.

"How long has it been happening?" Optimus's baritone voice of worry and concern asked.

I sighed, feeling myself nocibly becoming numb and said, "A few months ago." I kept my head turned away, not wanting Optimus to see the tears that I knew were going to fall out of my eyes shortly. "Don't blame yourself, You wouldn't have known, I was hiding it well from everyone... Too well but I knew how much it would hurt everyone if they knew... So I kept it all to myself and let it eat myself up inside." I felt one tear start to roll down my cheek. I looked next to me, at Optimus's faceplate and saw that he was in a sort of daze, probably looking for signs. I held his digit. "It's not your fault."

Optimus started to look back at me. "If Ratchet never told me, would you have ever told me this was happening?" Optimus had solemn worry "all over him".

I wanted to tell the truth and say "No", but I semi-lied by saying "Probably. Definitely when I stopped and didn't, I guess feel like this anymore." I bit my inner lip.

"You're lying... Why wouldn't you tell me?" Optimus figured out that I lied.

"I wouldn't, because you and everyone else deserve all of the happiness in the world and I didn't want the constant look of fear on everyone's faces." i felt another tear rolled down my cheek.

"And you don't deserve happiness too?" Optimus inquired, put my hand in his.

"Sometimes I feel like I don't. Maybe because I feel like I haven't worked hard enough to feel like I deserve it. Maybe because I feel like I'm not good enough to deserve that happiness." I pulled my knees up and wrapped my arms around them before crying. "And I know I deserve it but I really don't feel like I do." I started to cry harder, thinking about how everyone would take the news if my suicide was successful. "I understand if you want me to leave or anything, I know this is too much for anyone to handle." I tried to wipe the tears from my eyes, trying to calm down.

"Yes, this is a lot. But losing you, that would be too much." Optimus put his open servo next to me and I got on. I started to feel a warm radiance coming from his chest as he pulled me closer. "Is there anything else you want to talk about pertaining to this matter?" Optimus looked down.

I stopped lying so I shook my hand to say "so-so", maybe. I took a deep breath and asked. "I'm not a failure, I'm not stupid, useless or replaceable, right?" I looked down trying to hide any tears I had left.

"Primus no, you are none of those things." Optimus started rubbing my back with his thumb digit.

I tried to smile but knew that it wouldn't work. "You are right but I wish I could understand why I feel this bad about myself." I started to rub my thighs, to try to soothe myself. "It gets worse when I remember thinking that if I got in a relationship with someone that if they were abusive and hit me or anything similar that I honestly deserved it." I covered my mouth realizing that I just told Optimus one of my darkest and deepest fears. "I try not to let depression, and everything get "too far" but it's difficult when you believe those lies about yourself." I rested my head on his chest, letting the warmth consume me, taking a couple of deep breaths.

"Do you want to go for a drive and enjoy the night sky a little?" Optimus asked, remembering that that had always calmed me. I could stay here all night but a drive does sound like a good idea.

So I answered, "Sure." and Optimus held me as we went back down the elevator and transformed, with me sitting in the passenger's seat going through the steel doors of the base. I looked up and the night sky and mumbled, "I don't deserve this." letting a small smile start to creep onto my face.

I guess Optimus could sense I was doubting something so he said, "You deserve this (y/n), you deserve every second of this. Never think otherwise."

I started to cry again but this time, tears of happiness. "You're right Optimus, you are 100% right. Thank you." A big smile came on my face.

"Just you smiling and being the (y/n) I enjoy being in the company of is more than enough thank you for me." Optimus's voice radiated with the steering wheel.

#tfp optimus prime #tfp optimus x reader #optimus prime #transformers #transformers prime #Susan Writes

[blankiebloo]

*Cough cough* Since it is pride month, I've decided to write something special! I hope you all like it~!♡

Coming Out

*************************************

Xiao x Trans!Gn!Reader

Genre: fluff, comfort

Warning(s): Coming out for the first time, Pressured into coming out

Note: Reader is taller than Xiao(implied)

*************************************

The way Liyue is so accepting of others just warms your heart, how every June people run around with their corresponding flags and hand out free candies with flags on them, it's all just so sweet.

Even though it is June right now and you've received many candies and have had a fun time with friends, you're incredibly nervous. For the past three years, every pride month your friends have asked you if you've come out to Xiao yet, and your response has been the same everytime. "No, not yet. Next year, though!"

Your friends have finally had enough of those empty promises it seems because now, your friends have pushed you all the way to Wangshu Inn so you can go up there and tell Xiao your big "secret".

"It's alright, [Name]!" One of them says to try and comfort you. "You two have been together for a while now, you can tell him!"

You feel like they're right, that everything will be alright but..still. You had this same feel of dread as you came out to your friends, so why would you feel any better about coming out to your boyfriend?

You have no time to think though, no time to back out as your friends push you all the way up to the third floor balcony, despite you saying many times for them to stop it and just drop the entire thing altogether.

"Adeptus Xiao!" One of your friends call out, grabbing the attention of the said Adeptus in front of you. "[Name] here would like to talk to you!" Says another one. "No I don't-!" You barely even get the time to respond as they push you forward into Xiao's chest and then running away laughing.

You glare at them as they run away, but your attention quickly gets pulled away as Xiao places his hands on your shoulders and speaks. "Your friends are...strange."

You look up at him but he's still looking at where your friends once were. You had to agree with him though, your friends are quite strange, and a little bit stubborn as well.

"What is it that you wanted to tell me?" Xiao looks down at you, staring at you awkwardly as you're practically slouched down in a way so your face can stay on his chest.

"Ah-" Fixing your posture you look away, feeling your anxiety come back like a train hitting you. "It's nothing really, just my friends playing some dumb prank"

Xiao looks as though he's about to question that but he doesn't say anything as you take hold of his hand, leading him to the railing and looking down at the people below. A smile spreads across your face as you can faintly hear people laughing and having fun.

Your anxiety goes away as Xiao holds onto your hand; gently rubbing the back of it with his thumb. These small affectionate moments with Xiao always seem to calm you down, and maybe you can tell him about the fact that you're trans. Though the thought quickly leaves your mind as you see someone coming out to their own partner and it doesn't go so well for them.

Xiao notices how your face suddenly gets such a nervous look to it as you watch a couple break up because one of them came out about who they truly are.

With confusion on his face, and slight disgust, Xiao decides to speak up again, "Stupid mortal...throwing away something they have just because the other person isn't what they want them to be."

Xiao's sudden comment brings you some hope, and you feel as though he might actually accept you for who you are. A smile starts to spread on your face at the thought and Xiao definitely takes notice. A small questioning hum leaves his mouth as he stares at you, waiting for you to say something.

You look over to him, you give a nervous chuckle as you give him a closed eye smile, gently rubbing the back of your neck.

"Is there something on your mind?" He asks, feeling curious about your odd behavior. "You always act weird around this time of the year...does it make you uncomfortable?"

Your eyes open wide, looking shocked at his question. "What?! No, that's not it." You look away from him and back down at the people below.

"Then what is it? Does it have to do with the thing your friends said you wanted to tell me?"

The anxiety, it's coming back. Your hands ball into fists and your nails dig into your palms. He seems like he'll accept you, you won't have to explain what being transgender is, why are you so anxious?

"It may have something to do with that.." You look away once again, the feeling of his stare is making you sweat.

But the mention of your friends, it only reminds you of how they got annoyed and pushed you all the way here to tell Xiao that you're trans, and are you just going to let this chance pass you by? Are you really going to disappoint your friends like that?

"If you don't want to say it, it's whatever-" "I'm trans."

His eyes widen before his expression goes blank, his eyes sharp like always. Did you mess up? Should you have not told him? Is he going to break up with you-

"That's fine. Is that really all that you had to tell me?" His answer is so calm, was he expecting it to be something more?

"That's it.." You confirm as you look away in slight embarrassment at making this such a big deal when it really wasn't.

As if sensing your embarrassment, he takes hold of one of your hands. He walks closer to you and gently squeezes your hand.

"Don't be embarrassed, you can never predict what someone may think. I can understand why you would be nervous and want to take your own time" he reassures you and gently rubs his thumb across your knuckles.

"Your friends wanted you to tell me, right?"

Now that he mentions it, you start to think about what they did and how they pushed you all the way here despite not wanting to tell Xiao yet...they pressured you into telling him.

"Yeah, they did"

He suddenly pulls you close to him and huffs, as if he were thinking the same thing you were. "You need better friends."

*************************************

A/N: Soooo, I know that this is oddly specific, but it's the only thing I could think of and I wanted to do something special for pride month! I hope you're all having a fun and safe pride month, don't let anybody break you down, you're all special and I love you all! Spread love and happiness, not hate!~♡

#blank writes!♡ #genshin fluff #genshin x trans!gn!reader #genshin x gn!reader #genshin x reader #genshin x you #Xiao fluff #Xiao x trans!gn!reader #Xiao x gn!reader #Xiao x reader #Xiao x you #Happy Pride Month!♡

[occult-roommates]

Airport interlude

Around a month later, Akva finally had some time to take a few days aside and go to Del Sol Valley visit Paisley and her family. And then some of her friends showed up at the airport with her to have conversations I really wanted to write but had nowhere else to put idc this ain’t a professionally written novel I do what I want.

Akva: Thanks for coming with me guys! Bye everyone! Dawud: Ciao. Rudi: Welcome, that was a nice walk. Now I gotta go home, it’s the Eurovision tonight and I don’t wanna miss my country humiliating itself yet again. Daniele: Rud, it’s like 8 am, I know Europe is a few hours before us, but I think you’re overestimating it a bit. Rudi: I wanna be ready. Oh and by the way, I’m rooting for your country. Daniele: Aw, thanks. Dawud: No idea what you guys are talking about, but I know a few German songs cause you know, I took German classes in high school. Like Rock me Amadeus or 99 Luftballons.   Rudi: Literally everyone knows 99 Luftballons.  Daniele: To be fair, I don’t think I know any other songs in German but that one, so kudos to you Dav. Rudi: You dont- You don’t even know Rammstein? Like...Rammstein! They’re famous as fuck and they’re icons from my dad’s hometown. He even brought me to one of their concert when I was 10 which...In hindsight he 100% should not have but you get my point. To be fair, I don’t think my dad really knew what he was getting himself into, we had been invited by his best friend. Daniele: Eh, I know them by name, but it’s not really my type of music so I don’t think I know any of their songs.

It was now Dawud’s turn to leave the conversation, as his mechanic lessons were just about to start. Hopefully that day, he was not going to injure his hand. Whelp, now Rudi and Daniele had no reason to stay at the airport, so they just left the scene too.

Daniele: By the way, the other day, don’t remember why, I tried looking at all of the burger joints in the city, and did not see the restaurant you work at. Why? Rudi: Because I don’t work at a burger joint?? I work at a Filipino restaurant??? Daniele: Oh...I just thought...Ok you’re gonna make fun of me but it’s because the place is called Bob’s House and I don’t know, that has strong burger joint energy. Rudi: It’s because their logo is a pineapple, duh...No that’s not a joke, the name was their daughter’s idea and she was like, 5 years old back then. She told me personally while we were smoking weed together behind the art museum. Daniele: I don’t get the joke? Rudi: Ok, I can believe you don’t know Rammstein but...Spongebob??? How the fuck do you not know Spongebob??? Daniele: I did not made the connection alright, calm down. Rudi: Wait, I just realized, but the daughter, her name is Marisa by the way, she’s a mermaid...Well, obviously the entire family are merfolks, but she’s also the same age as Akva, give or take a year or two. And like, she’s bi. I know it cause one time I was talking about wanting a tattoo and she showed me hers, and it’s a heart shaped bi pride flag...Do you see where I’m getting at? Probably not, but I’m still asking just in case. Daniele: Matchmake her with Akva? Rudi: How the fuck did you guess on the first try? But yes, that’s my plan. I think they’d be cute together. Daniele: I think they need to have more in common than just being mermaid. Like, I don’t think Akva would be the type to date someone who smokes weed. Rudi: Ah, come on. Akva’s been through a lot, she deserves a nice girlfriend. Daniele: Please, first you wanted ruin Dawud’s relationship with Matteo, which I get you wanted to do that for me but still, now this? You’re aroace Rudi, stop trying to interve in people’s love life you clearly don’t know what you’re talking about. Rudi: Um fuck you, and I’m no longer rooting for Italy, my vote is going to Finland now!

Rudi did not care, as soon as Akva came back from California, they were gonna try to make her and Marisa meet. They would be so cute together, or at least that’s what the werewolf thought.

Prev - Next

#ts4 #sims 4 #the sims 4 #simblr #ts4 simblr #occult roommates #akva singh #rudi marron #daniele rossini #dawud sahan #OcRo s2 #long post

[infintyonhigh]

I am and will continue to be your resident Gaylor follower, popping up at an album release, hi!👋🏻 Here with a scroll as they did in ye olden days lmao

Yeah tons of people are upset at the album prologue, many of them have received hate and threats online, getting doxxed and outed on top of that. Funnily enough they receive those threats from people that only want to see Taylor married off with kids and the whole picket fence spiel. Which is kinda funny. In an ironic way.

Anyway, I just wanted to say, there are shitty fans on both the Swiftie and the Gaylor side. You have one side trying to figure out when she lost her virginity and to whom, and another trying to figure out if one of the dance moves she does on stage is her subconsciously moving her hand in the same way you'd finger someone. So it's obvious that theorizing like that would make her uncomfortable. And those are just surface level, I'm not even gonna try going deeper and explaining every mental gymnastics moves each group makes to come to those conclusions.

You also have infighting inside each of those groups, which is just like, ridiculous? It feels just like the L and G attacking the B in LGBTQ+, like, c'mon?

My point being, this is just a regular release cycle ever since Taylor decided to become the sheriff of Pride Trailer Town back in 2019, with bi flag colored hair and all (it's called You Need to Calm Down lmao), after she liked a +18 wlw gif on this very platform, talked about "dating him or dating her" in an interview, saying "Gay pride makes me, me" and talking about decorating her girlfriend's apartment because she was too busy to do so herself. Just a small collection off the top of my head that's kinda difficult to misinterpret, and there is tons more, without ever going into lyric analysis and the sheer amount of queer flagging, but I digress.

The goal of this long-ass ask isn't really to defend, because I've seen first hand how many shitty people are there on each side. I know it's really fun to make fun of them, I've done it myself, even though I consider myself to be a part of this group of people. I straight up made crack pairings and figured out ways to connect lyrics to those pairings to show how silly some theories sound. But I'll reiterate, only one group has seen its members doxxed and outed which put these kids (yes many of them are kids) in very dangerous situations as it wasn't safe for them to be out. And that's something I'll always hold over the head of regular Swifties, because it's a life threatening act that members of the group have done. Meanwhile their strongest "ammo" is secret Kaylor baby (I strongly don't recommend THAT rabbit hole) which has very socially negative ideas interwoven in the theory, depending on who's your source of info, but has never physically put anyone in harms way.

Sorry for putting this block of text in your ask, it's been a long release day and while it's super easy for me because I'm in a way, a closeted Gaylor and remain anonymous online, some of my friends that received threats and insults today don't have my privilege. Lastly, whoever reads this, please do not fall down the rabbit hole of the monetized Gaylor theories if you ever do decide to look into it. They pretty much take old (and some new) theories people spent time putting together (because it's a really fun time) and put those behind a paywall. Also they don't have "sources", just give it a minute and think, who would provide information to a literal random fan? On tumblr of all places?

Ty for coming to my ted talk, it's now for me to get some shut eye! <3

Einstein was wrong, rpf isnt fine

#sorry my guy im not reading all that #im sorry ppl are getting harassed thats obvi wrong #this level of speculation is still insane #answered #anonymous #long post

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Fics Including Bryony Masterlist

and we're out here in plain sight (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Phil's an optimistic author whose science fiction novel is well on its way to becoming a film. Dan's an actor whose cynism toward love is nothing short of infuriating. It takes a while, but they find something to agree on.

best kept secret (ao3) - dizzy

Summary: Bryony wants to introduce Dan to her friend Phil... the same guy Dan may already be dating.

between us (ao3) - danrifics

Summary: Manchester University Fallowfield Accommodation Facebook Group

Phil Lester 15:45

Long shot but is anyone in the group the person over in Wallwood Hall with the pride flag in their window?

Comments:

Bryony Matthewman 17:12

If ur the guy in the building opposite with the pride flag in his window then ur looking for @Dan Howell

bi your side (ao3) - t_hens

Summary: Dan does his best to comfort Bryony who is nervous about going on her first date with a girl.

Bound by Love (ao3) - thesassykels66

Summary: The day itself is already cliche, filled with flowers, sweets, and the "idea" of love. But, for Dan and Phil, the day was to be celebrated and be purely about their love.

That is if Phil could be able to calm his nerves before walking down the aisle, and be pronounced as Dan's husband.

bruising the sun (ao3) - waveydnp

Summary: the bedsharing friends to lovers roommates au i was always destined to write

Everything Is Illuminated (ao3) - vzm

Summary: "You used to think I'm cool".

"Yeah I did".

"You don't think that now, do you."

"Not one bit", says Dan, leaning in.

First Dates (ao3) - thatsthephan

Summary: The thought of the lads and their friends playing this game is too funny not to write about it.

floorbecue (with a c) (ao3) - phanetixs

Summary: “Phil Lester; love of my life, fire of my loins,” Dan pinches the bridge of his nose, “why do I have a thousand pound grill against my feet?”

Or, a thing about a thing.

it's a church of burnt romances (ao3) - phanetixs

Summary: Dan backs into the car and the driver asks where he’s heading. His head swims with thoughts of Phil, and of guilt and embarrassment at how he’s subconsciously treating his friend. Whose life centres around virtues like chastity. And non-objectification goes both ways. Dan takes a few deep breaths, pressing a palm to his insistent bulge to quell his arousal. As always, it doesn’t work.

Well, he resolves, if he can’t get Phil out of his head, he’s got to get someone else into it. Or onto him, preferably.

Or, a Fleabag AU.

Just Like Heaven (ao3) - Allthephils

Summary: Dan is a barista and Phil is the best part of his job.

Loud Places (ao3) - yikesola

Summary: Bryony had abandoned Phil for a pretty girl at the bar, which meant he was now sitting alone in what used to be their booth. It’d be easy to be annoyed. And he is, kinda. But more than anything, Phil figures he’s just… lonely. This crowded club is packed with people, and he feels so fucking lonely sitting in his booth and sipping his cocktail.

An au fic about beats per minute and doing things.

Middle of Somewhere (ao3) - throughtheirsnoses (det395)

Summary: Phil's an apprentice at a library who is drawn to a regular visitor with fluffy hair and a questionable attitude

not trying to hide it (ao3) - dvp_95

Summary: Phil's parents want him to get a flatmate. Bryony wants to get her newly-evicted mate off her couch. It’s not quite luck or fate, but Phil is thankful anyway.

playing charades (ao3) - watergator

Summary: dan and phil work in the same office. bryony thinks they’d make a cute couple. they both seem to be equally as oblivious to each other as well as their feelings. at least, that’s what everyone thinks…

Pretty Guy (ao3) - Archive (Curlylinguist)

Summary: Drinking as a coping mechanism is not Phil’s usual style, but then, he reasons, neither is spontaneously tagging along on an entirely unplanned night out with a bunch of strangers after the bizarre high of a successful publishing meeting. And all just because a pretty boy asked him to.

Or, Phil stumbles across a Pride rally and a certain curly-haired queer activist catches his eye.

proved us right (when you proved them wrong) (ao3) - happy_endings15

Summary: Dan comes home from Pride, but Phil isn't the only one waiting for him.

some killer queen you are (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: Dan’s enjoyed taking a break from YouTube, but for some reason, he still feels like something is missing. Determined to fill the creative void in his life, he decides to try out something new: drag.

sometimes this has a hot, sweet taste (ao3) - georgiabread

Summary: Then, the inevitable declaration, murmured into the skin just below his ear: “I really, really love you, Phil. Like, so much.”

Phil shuffles back and takes two dimpled cheeks in his palms and kisses him, drunk and sloppy and smitten. “Love you too, you nong.”

Summer’s End (ao3) - Allthephils

Summary: Dan’s magic is something to be hidden but a new tutor brings him out of the dark.

The Birthday Forecast (ao3) - WordsAblaze

Summary: It's Dan's birthday and, even if he's not as excited as he should be, Phil's forecast makes it much more interesting! Or the one where Phil kisses Dan 26 times on his birthday

the rain (ao3) - watergator

Summary: it's raining in london

the slipperiest country (ao3) - PhancyPhandom

Summary: Dan and phil take a cute romantic getaway to Greece. Some pals come along too.

“That’s okay if you lock us out, I have dan to keep me warm.” Phil leant over the chairs and lazily pulled dan into his grip. He peppered kisses on his cheek.

“Babe, we better leave them to their own devices, Phil is drunk drunk.” Bryony giggled.

Through the intimate onslaught of phil, Dan looked up in bemusement.

“Right, and you aren’t?”

Venice: City Of Dreams (ao3) - expiredlove

Summary: Dan and Phil are on holiday in Venice, Italy, with two of their best friends. They discover the city with their unprofessional tour guide Phil and end their day with a romantic stop at the Accademia Bridge, which is known for its so called love locks.

When You Try Not to Think About Elephants (ao3) - Merrydith

Summary: When Dan suggests they cross something off their bucket list, Phil doesn't realize that it might change their relationship forever. And once it does, he tries everything he can to not think about it. But when you try not to think about elephants, you end up thinking about elephants.

A.k.a - The Skinny Dipping/Roller Blading Fic. (Feat. Fluff and Kisses)

#phanfictioncatalogue #phanfiction #phanfic #phan #masterlists #bryony #bryony masterlist

[ladychlo]

i don’t know if you remember me but I’m the trans man anon who was confused about his sexuality, hi again! :D i honestly have to thank you for your kind words and for guiding me through the crisis I went into… i was too harsh on myself and you made me realised that, so… i let myself go into the flow for a while and… unsurprisingly in a Louis concert (because yes it’s a crowd full of gays), i got very close to a cute Louie boy :D

he was at the barricade and I was right behind him, we talked about the concert shortly.. then it began.. we sang the songs together shouting the words. then he said that he had only one pride flag in his bag and said if we wanted to hold it together 😄 he kept glancing back at me during the concert too, and I was like; “ boy ! keep it calm! louis is fucking in front of you? And you are looking at me! “ there were so many moments that I went “such a cute boy :>” although i still felt like i needed to keep down the flirt.. i still was not letting myself to enjoy these moments. was not ready i guess, but i broke the ice about it yeah ? Honestly sometimes I wonder if I have internalised homophobia because i always chicken out in the last minute.. and this story is like that too unfortunately :/ after the concert he waited me around while I was chatting with my friends, and he saw that i wasn’t gonna do anything about it, he said nice to meet you and some other things and left. and I still think about those moments that I couldn’t be brave enough to to at least get his number..

anygays.. I’m figuring myself out still!! I think it’s evolving 🤨 thank you again :) OH AND ALSO, I saw that it was your birthday today. Happy birthday chay. it’s a bit odd that it’s the 28th though 🤨 born to be a louie.

Omg Hiiii! Ofc I remember you, I actually think of you from time to time, hoping you're having some lovely days <3 I want you to see the stupidest adoring smile I have on my face right now reading this! I'm really really proud of you, the pride I have for my lovely friends. This isss so cute! I'm so glad you had that adorable encounter and AT A LOUIS SHOW?? That's very gay of you man hdhdhsh but you know, you re doing amazing, it takes a whole lot of love and energy to unlearn and learn ourselves, gosh and we fucked up alot, I know I did...loads..loads of time and we will very much fuck up things in the future and be angry at ourselves always and be too lazy to meet life in the middle. But you know what, its fucking fine, you're doing fine, there is so much love for you out there, there is someone for you out there or many others we dont care. it is what it is xx

#ALSO I hope you had a lovely time at Louis' #You see the odds 😌😌 Born a louie hshzhshzhsh

[frenziedslashers]

imagine ranting to the Sinclairs about idiots on tumblr saying pride is only for ppl with same sex attraction and next time you come home there's just trans pride (and/or whatever else one you like lmao) or pride flag coloured stuff everywhere

the Sinclair brothers think that person (or people?) is/are full of shit

- 🔪

No fr they would all get so heated or laugh about it with you lmao

Bo would scoff at how idiotic they're being. If this man can be accepting enough about you to date you, then he 100% believes that everyone else should be just as accepting. He'd be damned if he let you get worked up over some idiot online, too. He'd either take matters into his own hands and harass them for you(I 100% believe he would dox someone or find their address and commit crimes for you LMAO). He would afterward shower you with his rare-but-sweet affection because you're his baby and they aren't worth the time of day. I don't know if he would put pride stuff everywhere, but he'd definitely be more supportive and thoughtful. Who knew just being who you were could be such a challenge?

Lester, my love, he would be so upset for you, but he wouldn't try and take over it in any way. He would help you read over your responses to them to make sure you sound unbiased, factual, and kind; while still getting your point across. Once you both realize that the person isn't understanding and how stubborn they are he'd watch you block them lmao. He'd talk to you about it afterward, and pull you in for a hug and a shower of kisses if you're worked up over it. He'd make the rest of the day about you, but then again. When doesn't he make the day about you? This man would definitely buy a shirt that said something stupid like "I'm gay for my husband/boyfriend," "My wife/girlfriend puts the bi in bitch(affectionate)", "They are beauty, they are grace, they aren't interested because they're ace (And I'm proud of them)" Or something overly ridiculous like that. He would wear it all the time too just to make you smile and laugh because he knows just how ridiculous they are. He'd buy you both matching pride coffee mugs too or something cheesy like that.

Vincent would be the most upset over all of it. How could someone say such idiotic and unthoughtful things? Especially to you, the love of his life? It was something he would never forget, but that could be handled later. Right now he needed to distract you from the stress of that imbecile. He'd take your device from you while shutting it off, setting it to the side so he could pull you over to him. Cupping your face while tracing your features lightly with his fingers. Staring down at you with a look of adoration, even if you could see the fire behind his eyes. It may not be directed towards you, but you knew that after he got you calmed down he'd be handling the situation for you. He would make Lester get you a flag for your sexuality for you. Along with making you something to celebrate.

#vincent sinclair #lester sinclair #bo sinclair #pride #queer #trans #asexual #non-binary #🔪 anon

[dawnbreakerdystopia]

First Steps

Perhaps the most difficult step to take is that first one. But sometimes, there are so many first steps. First call for therapy. First shopping trip in the right aisle. First doctor's visit for hormones. First step outside as… you.

That one terrified me the most. How do you live your entire life with people seeing you one way, then suddenly just… appear in society the complete opposite, sticking out like a sore thumb to everyone who has ever known you? In a small town, hardly twenty square miles, where you know every individual person down to their middle name and probably even their darkest secret, this sudden change is impossible to pass over. And I panicked knowing this. Where could I even begin that would be comfortable?

I hardly remember what shirt I wore that day, but my chest lay tightly bound beneath it. I donned a tattered vest littered with metal band patches--my armor against the monstrosity that lay beneath. Gauntlets, black jeans, steel heel boots, probably a chain, and dark sunglasses. All the confidence to myself. All the love. Everything that made me feel powerful, but it still was barely enough to combat the terror waiting outside my house. What would people think if they saw my beard? Was I obviously a man to those who hadn't met me before? What were the chances I'd see someone new? What about someone I knew? Fuck. Shit. Fuck. Fuck that. Back down, don't go outside, just hunker down indoors forever in shelter and hope the world doesn't take notice.

But that was more unlikely than anything else which came to mind. I had no chance to stay inside my house forever, unnoticed. I had to live. Being myself couldn't prevent me from living.

But fucker, I wish it did.

And that it didn't.

Conflict, swarming my mind in a battle I just could not win. These contradictions battered against my skull and rattled my life until I felt like a tempest breaking apart at the seams as I held the door handle, inhaling the thick, stormy air, and walked outside toward the eye of the squall. Across the porch, down the driveway, into the street.

The tempest raged before me there in the street, and I embraced the full frontal wrath.

Shoulders tense, jaw clenched, I walked. In some direction. I can't remember which. My mind blocked such menial details as I hazily made my way down the road, thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking.

Was it possible to escape your own mind?

I wanted to. But this storm I stood in wouldn't let up. The only way to escape it was either turn back to shelter, or brave it, brute fucking force myself through, like I did everything, and make it out on the other end where sunshine and rainbows greeted me in the calm.

I questioned with every step if I could make it there. With each person I saw, the chances seemed less likely.

What name would I give if someone asked me who I am? Pronouns? Do I mask the truth? Embrace it?

A clusterfuck disaster, I walked through the wasteland at the end of the world, where what once was now lay to waste, and the only thing which could be done was rebuild. Myself. My life. My entire being.

Perhaps for comfort, I walked around one bend where a woman always flew a pride flag on her door. Ever since the Pulse shooting. During pride month. It was so soon to this day I walked.

Would I be shot? Just for being me?

While I walked past this house, I stared at her flag for a moment.

There was my rainbow. A sign of hope in this storm. I knew I could make it, even if just a bit further. In that shadow of doubt, it shone in all its colors. Like me. I may be the peacock, but peacocks are beautiful creatures. So was I.

Deep breath. I moved on from this house, and came across a car parked against a lawn. I hadn't seen this car before.

A woman popped her head out. "Excuse me? Do you know where house 136 is?" she asked.

I froze. I'd never met her before, nor seen her. Someone new. Perhaps it'd be easier than someone I was familiar with.

Walking toward her car, I took a deep breath. "Well… it seems 137 is right there," I replied, pointing to where she parked in front of.

She nodded. "And 135 is right there," she said, pointing to the one right beside it. "I've got a realtor appointment with the people of 136, but… their house isn't showing up on the map. And it's not on the street here, either."

I chuckled now, raising an eyebrow beneath my sunglasses. "What? That's really weird. How the hell?"

"I know, right?!"

I looked at her phone. An iPhone. I myself used Androids. Perhaps our maps would be different? "Lemme see something. I'll try Google maps," I told her. Pulling my phone out, we compared the images both apps showed for house 136, which, according to both, didn't quite exist.

Note, this is how I learned houses can take up more than one plot of land, and thus, can have two addresses.

Both myself and the woman laughed at the paradoxical idea of this inexistent house, lying between two others, and having nowhere to go. We couldn't figure it out for our lives!

I suggested she just knock on the door of 137, as that was the bigger house and, therein, perhaps had the both addresses, and she agreed. She thanked me, and pulled into the driveway as I myself continued the walk, finishing the bend.

I'd conversed. With someone. As my true self.

That was hardly bad at all. Intimidating, but not impossible, and actually quite easy!

First conversation. Done.

And that was enough for me. I made my way down the long stretch of road to my house, and walked back without any encounters. The world had mercy on me, and knew I'd done my part by breaking the barrier of my fears.

A triumph.

Back home, my cat daughters greeted me with meows and snuggles. I loved them with all my being, and gave them kisses, hugs, everything. They certainly didn't see me any differently, even though I was different. They loved me unconditionally regardless of my gender and presentation.

And I knew from that moment, if I couldn't make it back, I had to. For them. For my girls. If all else was hard, I had their love to look forward to when I returned. They were my light and calm at the end of the storm.

And I myself was the rainbow. Colorful, bright, radiant, a beauty to behold.

And walking wasn't so hard anymore. Each step was another toward comfort. Setbacks ensued, but again, brute strength has never failed me in my life. I kept walking despite these times. I named myself “the great helmeted warrior” for a reason.

The walk never ended, though. It still doesn't, years later. I still march on and on and on, toward a safe place of pure comfort. I wonder if it exists, though I've come to doubt it does. That doesn't mean it's impossible, though. My first step wasn't impossible. Therefore, anything can be real.

Even a world where trans people don't have to fear walking, and being themselves.

#trans #ftm #transgender #personal narrative

[lovelydesiress]

Ahhh it's the last day of pride month. I forget to write something so I'm using something I wrote a few years back.

I LOVE A WOMAN

FxF

Warnings: F slur mentioned, yelling

There was a little girl, she was always different from others but never truly knew what. One day while she was playing with a ball a girl showed up "Hey I'm Marcy" she said "I'm Lulu." From then on they had a unbreakable bond those two were never without each other they played together, laughed, talked about things their parents could never understand about them. Lulu, she had this thing in her heart that gave her butterflies when she looked at Marcy she didn't know what it was until she heard the word lesbian. She was 15 at the time Marcy was too. She looked into the word that's when everything clicked for her. The feelings she felt how she always felt safe to talk to Marcy the reason she was different she didn't like Marcy she loved Marcy! When she became 17 her and Marcy were dating it was the happiest she ever felt Marcy became her world. At 20 she decided she would tell her father Lulu only had a father her mother died when she was born her father never had time to play or even to talk to her, most of the time she was by herself.

She looked at her father at the dinner table she took a heavy breath "Dad there's something I've been meaning to tell you" his response would weight on her heart. She needed to know, she needed to see what her father though about her. His black life sucking eyes looked into hers edging her to continue, to let out his curse. "I'm lesbian" she blurted out her father only chuckled "I'm serious dad. I like girls I like kissing Marcy my girlfriend" a serpent like aura slithered across the room. Lulu skin felt like it was being bricked by a mean doctor her heart pounded anticipating what was to happen. "What did you just say?" He got up and yelled she stood her ground. She winced not in fear but foolishness of course he wasn't approving that man gave off several red flags as she started hitting puberty. "Dad I love Marcy I don't care if you don't approve it's my world not yours you can choose to accept it or lose my respect and care." He was bolling mad "YOU COME IN HERE SAYING YOU ARE A F*G GET OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU FU*KING DISAPPOINTMENT YOUR THE REASON MY WIFE DIED!" He threw his half finished glass at her but missed, she still stayed calm she wasn't about to give this man her tears "Honestly I feel sorry for you no one to love you like Marcy loves me, mom didn't die giving birth to me she died after she married you she realized how much of monster you are so she prayed to die, her soul died by being with you" Lulu softly said "You know nothing about how I loved her" he cried "love? Dad love is loving someone regardless of their color, what they've done or how they look it's about who they are that is love, what you showed mom wasn't love it was possession you treated her like an object then ridiculed her. When I was alone Marcy shower me a world she gave me hope while you just sat down every night and drank your stupid old beer you never even bothered to ask how I was Marcy on the other hand cared for me she was the only person that wiped my tears away when I cried she was the friend who stayed when I was broken she carried me to sleep every night she loves me enough to listen and feel she told me more than you have how much she loves me."

With that Lulu walked away her father stood their contemplating every word she had spoke. The next day everyone in town knew of their love but still they didn't care as long as they're happy. Lulu father looked out the window he saw them together holding a lesbian flag and paint all over them in the lesbian flag colors. They looked happy, they were happy the father watched. As day became night he started to understand the truth.

#pride month #i wrote something! #im tired #lesbians #f slur #woman

[elmsexperformancegummiesus]

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[galacticchaosminion]

im so lost and confused and sad and so tired i cant keep my eyes open and idk what to do. i’d go nuts without thomas tbh.

#the bad news literally has me so drained #i fcking hate him tbh and i thought things were finally doing good #for a long time i thought he was my real dad but not too long after this other guy #came around i realized he wasnt my real dad and thats nbd #but like im not around my real one and i havent for many many years and now #the only one i got isnt around because he fucked up AGAIN and all i can think about #are the good years i thought he cared and the happy times that were probably fake #and all i cant think about are the really abusive and awful things he would say to me #and i kinda wanna hang up dark blue fairy lights in my room and fall asleep under #my pride flag with someone and calm down for a while #because this is the second time he cheated on mom and the first one was seven #years ago and between those seven years he has always said bad things to me #that still get me down and honestly he is fucking scum and i hate him #we were finally getting along but he fukin ruined it and idc what happens to him #anymore and i hope stays away #idc if i dont really have a dad now... ive been #out of the house for two years now and havent seen him so maybe the rest of #my life wont be so bad......

[milliedazzledust]

In Loving Memory (Bucky Barnes imagine)

Request: @missroro the reader is steve twin and she married to bucky after the blip, she had enough of the 'new captain america' thing shes really mad, so when walker and his friend start talking about joining forces she snap like she pull out a gun and pointing right at them, also sam ofc dont forget about sam. Sam trying to stop her while bucky "nah let her do her fun"

Words: 2021

Warning: !!TFATWS SPOILER!! without context - violence

A/N: wrote this today, it basically follows the events of ep3 of fatws but without context. I have a couple of exams this week so I won't be able to post until next saturday. Until then, enjoy

"You shouldn’t have gave him the shield"

Sam frowned, turning back to look at Bucky.

"I didn’t gave him the shield" He defended himself, making a point.

"Well, Steve definitely didn’t" Y/N ironically answered back.

He gave her a pointed stare. They had had this conversation countless times and Y/N never missed a chance to remind him of what she thought was a huge mistake.

"You are the reason this is happening, Sam. You chose to take on my brother’s legacy and threw it out the window"

The man didn’t reply and pursed his lips. He knew she didn’t mean any of her harsh words, she was angry and still mourning. If taking it out on him could make her feel better, he would let her.

"Y/N, stop" Bucky took a step toward his wife, clasping her hand in his metal one. He had hoped the physical contact would be enough to calm her down.

"He abandoned me, Sam" She continued, her voice filled with emotions. "He was gone and all I had left was memories. I chose this life for him, I fought with him, I believed in everything he represented. I looked up to him, to Captain America. And today, even those memories are gone, taken by the same government you and I were up against, mocked by clowns pretending to be heroes, all because you gave up"

The Falcon closed his eyes and dropped his head. She couldn’t see his point of view, or share his opinions when her judgment was clouded by so much pain. He wished she could understand the dilemma, the duality that represented the shield for him.

"Y/N, please, that’s enough" Bucky whispered next to her ear.

She turned her head toward him and as usual, his heart broke when he saw the torment in her eyes. She didn’t need to speak, she was an open book to him. They both had lost so much and yet were all each other had left. They were collateral damage, their own team against a world that wasn’t theirs anymore. She silently nodded, assuring him she was fine. Sam watched Bucky kissing her forehead and he furrowed his brow. He would never admit it but he was glad they had each other, because no one could carry that much pain alone without crumbling apart.

Before any of them could add anything, soldiers in blue and red erupted in the room, bursting through the door of the apartment where they were hiding in Latvia. Bucky instinctively grabbed Y/N and forced her body to move behind his. The two man stood in front of them, tall and proud, a smug smile on their lips.

"Alright, that’s it, your time is up" The man calling himself Captain America announced, the shield in one hand, the other pointing at the three avengers. "Tell me where Zemo is"

"We know you’re hiding him" His sidekick added.

"I’m ordering you to turn him over"

Sam eyed them up and down.

"Let’s be clear, the only thing you’re running here is your mouth" The Falcon firmly replied, crossing his arms.

"I gave you a chance to work with us" He mentioned.

" ‘For us’ is the correct way to put it, tough guy. And we said no." Y/N reminded him, her face showing how much she was annoyed.

"You’re obviously in over your head so I suggest you turn back and go" Sam argued.

"You really want this conversation to go there ?" The hero threatened.

Bucky straightened up when he felt Y/N tensing. He knew she was already on the verge of snapping. One wrong word from the man she hated and this could go down to hell.

"Should I put down the shield ?" He continued to challenge Sam. "Make it fair?"

The woman groaned and when John Walker dropped his weapon, without a second thought, she grabbed the nearest knife and threw it right at his face. The man had barely enough time to move back and his eyes rose in surprise when the blade stuck itself into the wall with force.

"Sorry, it slipped" She ironically explained, shrugging.

"You don’t want to play this game with me" He tried to intimidate her, tilting his head to the side.

She smiled, pleased he was giving her the opportunity to smack his face. Bucky clenched his fists when he saw her walking in front of Walker. Without tearing her eyes away from his, she seized her knife and pulled it out of the wall with a sharp movement.

"I think someone should teach you a lesson, Walker" She told him in a low tone.

"Are you offering ?" He challenged her.

"Don’t tempt me"

"You’re lucky you’re his sister" He grinned. "But don’t push it. This Captain America is not as lenient as the previous was"

Bucky swore under his breath. It was too late now. And just as Sam looked at him with concern, Y/N threw her fist in a curved punch at the soldier. He used his forearm to counter the blow, but she was faster and had far more experience. Using the momentum, her foot rose up and kicked him in the face. The man was thrown back, shaking his head in confusion.

"We should do something" Sam advised the former assassin.

"No. Let her have her fun" He crossed his arms, harboring a small smirk.

The soldier tried to hit her back, but even when he took the shield she blocked his attack. His sidekick soon joined the fight and distracted her for a second, just enough time for Walker to punch her. Immediately, she felt the taste of blood in her mouth, but no pain. She was passed that, far too pissed to feel anything.

Another blow on her chest send her to the ground and Hoskins hold her down while his friend was about to hit her with her brother’s shield. He raised it in the air, with every intention of beating her, but a strong metal hand stopped him in his movement. A very infuriated Bucky stood before him, his blue eyes darkening with anger. He firmly took the weapon, knocked Hoskins out with it and threw it across the room.

"If you wanted to make it fair, you shouldn’t have chosen to hit my wife" His tone was terrifying.

Walker didn’t seem as confident anymore. Bucky looked imposing, brute force ready to strike. His metal arm clenched in a fist and, without warning, it collided with the soldier’s jaw, sending him a few feet away. He strode to the man on the ground and grabbed him by the collar of his uniform

"This is all easy for you, isn’t it ?" Walker spoke with venom, staring at Bucky. "All that serum running through your veins"

With a swift movement, Y/N took the shield and launched it with power right on the soldier’s chest. The blow was so violent his body crashed into a door before landing on the floor. She was furious by his statement and he could see it with every step she made toward him. She grabbed the gun attached to her thigh and pointed it at his face.

"Lesson number one: learn when to shut up. Especially when you don't know what you're talking about" She was fuming but had not intention on killing the man, despite the sheer desire to do so.

She didn’t realize Sam was next to her until she saw his hand lowering her gun.

"This isn’t what Steve would want." He calmly expressed. "Remember, there’s always another way"

Her lips quivered and she closed her eyes, remembering how many times her brother had told her that. She let him take the weapon and looked up at him. The conviction and kindness in his stare were enough. He didn’t have to say anything. Every words she needed to hear, he spoke them in silence.

She turned back to Bucky and he cupped her face, inspecting the bruise on her skin. He seemed ready to go back and beat the man down. Y/N softly smiled and clasped her hands around his wrists. He stroke her cheek and pulled her toward him before carefully kissing her lips.

"Good ?" He asked in a soft voice he only used with her.

"Good"

It was something between them, a single word they spoke every time they fought. Wherever they were, whomever they were up against, if one of them asked, the other had to answer. It was their intimate way to always know they were alright.

Later that day, Sam and Bucky had decided to go talk to the leader of the Flag Smasher, Karli Morgenthau, while Y/N had been charged to follow Walker and Hoskins. As soon as she had seen they were going after the young super soldier, she had warned her friends about the danger. She knew enough about the new Captain to guess he had no intention on arresting Karli. He wanted to make justice himself. She pitied his sidekick. He seemed like a decent man with good ideas struggling to find virtue on the wrong side of the battle. He was Walker’s collateral damage.

She wondered what Steve would think of all that if he could see them fighting both super soldiers and Captain America. He never cared for the star and stripes, never used his shield to harm. His heart was with the people he defended. Even when it had been against Tony, he pursued what he believed was best. Was that what Walker was trying to do ? She couldn’t know. But she was sure of one thing, the man had nothing in common with Steve. Pride, ego and selfishness were never traits anyone would have used to describe her brother. She couldn’t bear for him to be replaced, especially to a man that didn’t share his morals or any of his opinions. The shield he was carrying wasn’t just a weapon, it was her brother’s symbol of hope, a symbol he had fought so hard to forge. The man made the uniform, not the other way around. That’s what Walker didn’t get. Up until that point, people had not been following Captain America, they had been following Steve Rogers.

Standing in that public square, she didn’t realize she was crying until she felt Bucky entwined his fingers with hers. She couldn’t avert her eyes from the horrific scenery. Powerlessly, she watched a man she didn’t know being executed. His opponent was merciless, striking with determination and rage, using the only piece of memory she had left of her brother to bring terror and death. Frozen on the spot in the middle of the crowd, she could see the fear in all those strangers eyes and it felt like grief coming in waves, a shard in her guts that would never leave. It felt like this particular moment was choking the breath out of her body, short circuiting her mind. What was whole once completely shattered and she couldn’t find the strength to be angry anymore. All her brother had built had fallen apart in the split of a second and all the world had left was a bloodied image of his symbol of hope. A symbol that was no more.

“Sam...” She called him, almost like a scared child.

“I know...”

Both men looked worried. Y/N felt Bucky’s hand trembling and she squeezed him harder. She could easily guess how he felt. Steve had saved both of them, he had gave them a purpose, had allowed the former assassin to be more than the weapon Hydra had made of him. Pieces by pieces, he had brought their family back together. And as they both stood there, witnessing the horrifying end of his legacy, Bucky realized everything his bestfriend had fought for was turning into dust.

"I’m sorry" Y/N whispered to Sam. "But there’s no other way now"

Her husband dropped his head, trying to regain a sense of control over his emotions. Wordlessly agreeing with her, he turned to their friend.

“He has to be stopped”

Tags: @taina-eny

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes imagines #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes imagine #bucky x female reader #bucky x reader #the winter soldier #the winter soldier imagine #the winter soldier imagines #the winter soldier x reader #the winter soldier fanfiction #winter soldier #winter soldier x reader #winter soldier imagine #winter soldier imagines #winter soldier fanfiction #tfatws #fatws #steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #sam wilson

[imaginingmanyfandoms]

Paul's Lullaby | part one

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"Sam?" Paul was, he was in pain. He respect Sam and Emily's privacy, but he needed to talk to Sam now.

Paul wasn't angry, he was in pain. He felt like the world had opened up and swallowed him whole. He ruined his own life, and he didn't know where else to turn.

"Paul?" Sam asked, opening the door. Emily was behind him, face covered in concern.

"I imprinted tonight," Paul said, "but she hates me. She really, really hates me."

"I'm sure it's nothing you can't fix," Sam said, ushering Emily to come closer.

"Sam, I'm not exaggerating, she told me that she hates me. In fact, she should hate me." Paul looked at his feet, but only to try and hide the distress on his face. "If anyone treated her that way I used to, I'd rip them apart."

"Paul," Emily said, reaching out. Paul flinched back.

"I don't deserve your sympathy. I just, I don't know what to do."

"Be patient. Maybe you just have to prove you're a different man now," Emily offered a sad smile, but it was the exact thing Paul didn't want. He shouldn't pitied, he didn't deserve it. He could feel his heart bruise and falter. He broke his own heart and has no clue on how to fix it.

Emily had to go back to sleep, but Sam sat up with Paul for a while longer.

When Paul finally left, it was almost two in the morning. He took off running through the woods, shifting when he knew he was hidden by the tree line. He tried to outrun the heartbreak, but obviously it didn't work.

You were sitting at your desk, staring at your computer. You wanted to work on your writing, but you were so angry at the audacity that Paul had.

You had done everything you could to avoid him the last couple years - and you managed to make it to the first day of summer after graduation. You'd run into him on the beach.

He was just such a jerk, acting like his words had no effect on anyone. Like he could just laugh behind your back and it wouldn't hurt.

But he used to tell people nasty rumours about you. Until nobody really wanted you around them. And then he had to take it that much farther, when you were both fifteen, he took you on a date, acted like he'd changed and grown. And right before he kissed you he said, "I know you fall for it."

That date alone triggered years of trust issues. You'd felt alone ever since.

Back to the beach, he was blocking the trail you needed to head down to get to work on time. You'd hoped that putting your head down and just trying to slide passed would work, but he recognized you. He tried talking to you, but you ignored him.

After taking a couple steps down the path he said, "don't be like that."

This made you look up, astounded that he would even say something like that. Until you finally looked into his eyes, and you recognized how beautiful he was. He also looked stunned, like he'd run into a glass door. He reached out to you, but recoiled, dodging his touch like he was on fire. Somehow, you'd felt even lonelier than ever.

One look at his face and you felt like you were missing something. You tried to keep your cool but you just couldn't. Tears brimmed at your eyes, and his friend Jared Cameron coughed, before walking to the water just to give you two some space.

"Y/N," he said, his voice low and hesitant. Making you panic, thinking he was toying with you again.

"Stay away from me," you warned, taking a defensive step back.

That hit Paul harder in the heart than you would ever know. His soulmate, his imprint, recoiling away from him defensively. He found the person he was supposed to protect, to be needed by, and you couldn't stand the sight of him.

"Just wait a second," he begged, not moving towards you again. He didn't want to scare you.

"I hate you," you whispered, and then louder said it again. And louder again. Until you had screamed it, and the tears had taken over your cheeks. Every time you said it was an arrow to Paul's heart. He nodded, and let you turn around to run off without another word.

You didn't notice him run into the woods, followed by his friend.

You called work saying you had a personal emergency, and then went back home for the night.

Back in the present, you were tearing up at the memory of it. You were sick, you think. Addicted to red flag behaviour because there was no way you were thinking of Paul's hurt face, and feeling bad for causing it. He should feel bad for all the pain he caused.

You looked at the clock, it was almost three in the morning, but you were too caught up in all your feelings to send yourself to bed. You walked to the window, and noticed some kind of animal by the tree line. You lived in the middle of the woods, in an old cabin your grandma used to live in. You moved in when she got sick but never moved out. You liked it. It was cozy. It was private.

Finally relenting, you crawl into bed and did your best to sleep.

The next day, you were walking along the same path on the beach. You offered to cover the shift of the girl who had covered yours at such last minute.

Paul was in the same spot, but alone this time. You tried to walk passed him without acknowledging him, but something stopped you. You didn't want to see him sad again, it hurt you. And it made no sense why, you'd spent two years hating him.

You were only a few steps passed him, so you turned around, gripping the end of your sweater sleeves in each hand.

Paul had his head down, but looked up when he heard you sigh. You were standing in front of him, looking so terrified to speak to him. Paul could've started crying.

"I'm sorry about yelling at you like that yesterday," you said. "I should've just walked away so... sorry."

"Don't be sorry," he said, a flash of excitement crossed his eyes, and you mistook it for something sinister. You tried to remain calm, but you were feeling lightheaded. You just couldn't trust his motives. "I deserved it."

Now that, threw you for a bit of a loop.

Fool me once, you thought.

"I still think we should just keep our distance," you said. "You kind of broke my heart."

"I'm really sorry about that, I was trying to impress the seniors. I was a tool. An idiot."

"Finally we agree on something," you said. He looked at you, and you both let out a small smile. He pushed some sand with his foot. His bashfulness made you want to believe him. "I work just up the hill. You can walk me if you want."

"Can I walk you home when you're done?" he asked, quickly falling in perfect tandem with you.

"No," you said. "But you can walk with me right now."

"I'll take it," he said.

"Why do you want to talk to me anyway? I thought you hated me," you said.

"I could never hate you," he said. "I do hate how I treated you though. Not my finest hour."

"I think your finest hour remains to be seen."

Paul stayed quiet after that. And you were oddly comfortable in the silence. You're not even sure why you invited him to come along, but some sick part of you wanted him to. You wanted to reach out and touch him. His arms just looked so welcoming, and the way he stretched his hand open and shut made you think he wanted the same thing. But you couldn't let him in, not after one day.

"Have a good shift," he said, putting his hands in his pocket.

You smiled at him ,and thanked him for walking you. When you smiled, he smiled. And you caught onto that.

Paul had been standing in the same spot every day to walk you to work. Out of curiosity, on one of your days off, you snuck close to the spot to see if he was there. And he was, leaning against the same railing, in the same spot that he waited for you everyday.

You got comfortable in a cozy little spot in the trees. You wanted to see how long he waited for you. You dozed off before you could get your question answered.

You woke up hours later, when the sun was already setting. You hated walking through the trees in the dark. You started walking on your own, but you had a bad feeling in the pit of your stomach. So you swallowed your pride and called someone you knew would answer.

Paul was sitting at Sam and Emily's table, enjoying the dinner she made while waiting for his turn to go on patrol. It was Jared and Quil out there now. Paul could hear Seth snoring on the couch, making him laugh. Things that used to annoy him, didn't really seem to annoy him anymore. Not since you started letting him walk you to work. He even got Sam to let him change his patrol times to make sure he could be there every day.

His phone rang, and with a mouthful of food checked the number. He almost chocked on his food when he saw your number. He answered, hitting his chest to dislodge the food.

"Y/N, hi," he said, big grin on his face as he stood up and walked outside. Behind his back, Emily and Sam shared a knowing look, and he leaned in to kiss his wife.

Paul noticed Jared sitting nearby with Kim, and didn't think too much of it with you on the line.

"This may sound stupid," you said, "but can you walk me home? I don't like to go in the dark."

"You never let me walk you home," he said.

"If this is a bad time, it's okay," you said, disappointment clear in your voice.

"No, no... where are you? I'll be right there." He stepped back inside the house to grab his shoes, but the sound of you gasping stalled his movements.

"I'm by our meeting spot," you said. His grin returned when you called it that. "It's so dumb, I wanted to see if you went there when I didn't work and fell asleep."

"You were spying on me?" he asked. You were silent on the other end and he laughed. "I'll be right there."

"Who are you?" you asked.

"Huh?"

He heard you scream, as did Sam and Emily who's cheeky glances turned to concern quickly. "Y/N?" he asked, panicked. He was already running outside, Sam on his heals.

"Jared!" Sam shouted, "Why aren't you on patrol?"

"Seth said he'd do it!" Jared yelled back. Paul dropped his phone, and shifted, running top speeds to where you said you were.

Never in his whole life had he been this scared. He could hear Jared apologizing for the mixup in his thoughts, but Paul didn't really care what he had to say. If you were hurt, Paul would die. Paul would simply die.

He needed you to be there safe.

I knew something was wrong, Embry thought. Paul didn't even see him show up. Sorry I didn't act on it.

Shut the shit up and run, dammit!

When he got to the meeting point, you were gone, but your bag was abandoned nearby. Paul sniffed it, getting your current scent memorized. He took off when he found the trail. He also smelled a retched, filthy bloodsucker. It wasn't one of the Cullens. No, this was different. And it started at the water, that's how it got passed their lines. Not that they had enough people around.

Paul howled, the pain in it was evident for anyone around. It was him saying get here, or suffer the consequences.

I don't smell their blood, Jared thought.

You don't get to talk about them. This anger didn't derive from a bad temper, it was fear. It was just fear talking.

Paul kept running, catching a fork in the scent trails. One way was Quil, Leah and the bloodsucker. And the other was you, all alone. Alone but alive. If he couldn't hear Leah or Quil think, that was a good sign. Meant that they'd changed back, and Leah would never do that unless she killed them.

Go to her, we'll find Leah. Sam nodded at Paul.

You were crying as you ran, clumsy feet stumbling over tree roots and your own blurred vision totally betrayed you. Someone had come out of the water, eyes red like rubies. And they were so pretty that you just had to look at her. Until the showed her teeth, forcing you to flee in fear. She was faster than you, but you think she was playing with you.

And then if that wasn't scary enough, when she was jumping down from a tree to kill you, a wolf jumped from the shadows and grabbed the woman. And it was her turn to flee. Another wolf jumped out, and you were sure you were a goner.

But it just chased after the other two. Leaving you alone and confused.

You stumbled back to your feet, running as fast as you could towards your cabin. You would be safe in there. Maybe. It was the best you could do right now.

You cried harder when you thought you heard more rustling in the trees. You were at your door, struggling to get your keys out and unlock the door. When you did, you slammed it shut and locked it behind you. You dove over the sofa and kept your eyes on the door, as if that's all it took to keep you safe.

Your phone was lost somewhere in the woods, but you could still hear them. Out there. Maybe it wasn't real.

There was a feverish knocking on your door, and you couldn't peel yourself away from the couch.

"Y/N! Are you in there," Paul shouted. Oh my God, thank everything, it's Paul.

"Paul, I'm coming," you struggled, fighting through your tears to answer. It killed him, but he was so happy you were okay.

You opened the door, and cried even harder when you saw his face. You couldn't hate him now, now when he came running for you. He ignored his usual boundaries and pulled you in for a hug. He was so warm wrapped around you. Your arms were still tucked into your chest. And his totally encompassed you.

"Just breath, honey," he said, rubbing his hand up and down your back. You tried to take his advice, but you couldn't focus.

"You came for me."

"I always will, you can always call me. I will always come running," he said. And you believed him.

"Will you stay with me tonight?" you asked, pushing yourself away from him enough to look up at his face. His features were uncharacteristically soft as they looked down at you.

"Of course," he said. He kissed your forehead, and you felt the instinct of pushing him away - but you ignored it this time.

"On the couch," you said.

"Sure, honey." He brushed his hands up and down your biceps, helping you take a few deep breaths. "I'm not going anywhere, don't worry."

"I don't understand what happened," you said, pushing yourself away from him. "She came out of the water, and then she..."

"It's okay," he cooed, "you don't have to say anything."

"And this doesn't change anything," you said. "I trust you with some things but not other things."

"Some things?" he asked, more amused than anything.

"I trust you with my life, not my heart."

"We'll work on it," he said, pulling you in close for another hug.

"Yeah," you agreed. "We'll work on it."

[requested] [part 2?]

I kind of love this?

#imagine #imagines #paul lahote #paul lahote imagine #paul lahote imagines #twilight #twilight imagine #twilight imagines #part 2

[lale-txt]

getting a matching tattoo w/ Law

"let's get matching tattoos!" a half-drunken idea was born on this night on the Polar Tang, with only you and your captian left in the kitchen, cleaning up the mess of the party that happened earlier

"sure"

"i know, it's cheesy and probably a silly idea, but- wait, did you just agree?"

you were expecting more hesitation from Law, one of his judgy glances, a 'tsk' or even him ignoring you and your impulsive ideas for everyone's safety (you're still not talking about that one incident that almost set Bepo on fire)

instead he is just shrugging it off and continues stacking together dirty plates

"it's not a bad idea, y/n-ya. let's see if there's a tattoo parlor on the next island. or at least someone with sterile needles and black ink, that'll do, too."

ahh, your captian, the surgeon speaking.

still, you're going to bed smiling WIDE, thinking about possible motives for you and him, wondering if it counts as a couple tattoo when technically speaking you haven't even confessed yet (but you're sure he knows)

a few days pass without further talking about it and you're setting foot on the next island, a lively town ahead of you with many food stalls and more

everyone is heading out for shopping duties, lunch and exploring the island while Law and you find yourselves in front of a small tattoo shop

"you can still cop out of it, you know?", you mumble. you were only half-joking anyway. as if.

"no way. i wanna see what you had in mind for us.", your captain replied in that calm tone you fell in love a long time ago and went first into the studio

the tattoo artist was an old, heavily tattooed lady that loudly exclaimed "ah, young love!" the second the both of you walked through her door

you couldn't see Law's face (probably his usual too cool for school pokerface) but were glad about the dimly lit place so he couldn't see you blushing from ear to ear

when asked for the motives you're digging in your pockets for the slip of paper you scribbled down your idea, a bit embarrassed but also hopeful that your captain would like it

it was a small sun and a small moon, simple and neat. you didn't want anything flashy since your love for him wasn't like this. it was calm and contrary, each shining bright in their own way, a whole universe between them.

you couldn't look Law in the eyes when he took the slip of paper from your hands to get a closer look

"you should take the sun, y/n-ya. it fits you.", he said as he handed the old lady the motives; she ruffled away to prepare everything

it wasn't your first tattoo and obviously also not Law's first, yet you could feel your heart beating a little faster than usual

as you went first, Law took a seat next to you. a few minutes earlier you were talking about the placement of your tattoos and decided to go for the wrist, "somewhere I can always see it" as Law explained

"are you nervous? you don't have to be. i have a very high pain tolerance, you know? plus, you didn't say anything when I got our jolly roger tattooed a few months ago, wasn't this wild enough already?", you rambled to break the silence

that's when he took your hand into his and gave it a little squeeze

"I felt really honoured back then. when you took pride in wearing my flag on your back. but this... is even more special to me."

why doesn't he cut your heart out already? he can have it. all of it.

his eyes. he won't take them off you and somehow you manage to hold his gaze

he knows.

one hour later the two of you are walking out into the sun again, heading back to the Polar Tang. your home.

needless to say that Law hasn't let go of your hand ever since

#one piece #trafalgar law #trafalgar law x reader #trafalgar law x y/n #trafalgar d water law #one piece x reader #one piece x you #one piece x y/n #one piece headcanons #i'm sure this idea has been done a hundred times already #and i love every single take on it #couple tattoos are one of my favorite tropes aahh