#my roommate is gonna kill me

[snixx]

god im so embarrassing the way it takes me a sum total of ten minutes of live conversation with people my age to start sweating like a furnace I was Not Built for This (leaving my room)

#okay I'm being mean this is not always true #but why does talking to people in groups feel like im being interrogated and im failing at it (understanding any social cue or joke ever) #hhhgjufufufjffu Not doing that again. for the rest of the day at least fuck dinner im just gonna curl up with my book #vagueposting the shit out of tumblr dot com #wait noooooo i still have to face my roommate. kill me right now

[lesbianpegbar]

i can’t wait to see aki realize he lost the one person he cared about and then be told he only has two more years to live and then sob alone in a hospital room before deciding to throw what little remaining life he has away and doom himself to the worst death imaginable tomorrow. and by can’t wait i mean i’m blowing everything up

#OUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #FUCK #FUCK FUCK FUCK #bad day for aki hayakawa specifically tomorrow #watching these things animated is going to kill me #i hope they do the scene justice bc the moment where akis told he has two years to live has one of my favorite panels #it’s like a small subtle fully rendered panel of his mouth slightly agape. no dialogue. just him realizing his life is over #it’s just one of those quiet heart wrenching moments that i hope gets transferred over lol #god #kinda unrelated can’t wait to see my roommate react to this tomorrow #she’s gonna be like what do you MEAN he has two years to live and is gonna die in the worst way imaginable WHAT #ohhhh boy we’re really getting into the horrors now #chainsaw man #aki hayakawa #mine

[batz]

HI if anyone is interested in a commission they r Open. the Entire Kitchen is packed up so i have Nothing to cook on for tonight and im hungry after running up and down flights of stairs moving 483937392 boxes

ALTHOUGH cooking an egg just Right on the stove element sounds fun (for th landlord to clean up LOL)

#frank.txt #god this move is Killing me both physically mentally AND financially #tmrw the movers r gonna be here at 8am so . the hard part is ALMOST done #then i wont be e-begging as much bc holy shit this is ROUGH #also the last of my easy to eat food was stolen by one of the roommates so. ya #they need to raise disability prices so then i wont go hungry every time the roommates raid my cupboard #im getting a lock for my cupboard in the next place and the key is gonna be attached to my necklace and on me 24/7 #i have so many grey hairs im getting streaks now. the ripe Old age of 24 . christ #i hate moving

[rithmeres]

whenever i have absolutely nothing going on and don’t need to be anywhere or do anything, everyone around me is perfectly healthy but when i have huge things that i absolutely cannot afford to miss then half my family gets sick at once with different diseases

#WHY ARE THEY SICK ALL THE TIME BUT SPECIFICALLY ONLY WHEN I DESPERATELY NEED TO STAY HEALTHY #i’m gonna start killing. i have a big thing on friday and a concert next week and a tattoo coming up and i need to be okay for all of those #and i’m running things at the community house for two weeks straight. i cannot afford to be out of commission for even a few days. #& nobody gets it. for me being sick is not just unfortunate it is literally hell on earth. the worst possible thing that could happen to me #i’d rather break a bone or sprain my ankle or have an ibs flare or crash my car. literally anything else #AND DO NOT GET ME STARTED ON OTHER TYPES OF ILLNESS. I WILL KILL EVERYONE IN THIS HOUSE AND THEN MYSELF. #tell me. why. when i was living with 4 roommates in a cramped apartment for 4 years. i only got sick twice. #but living with my family. for 9 months. i have gotten sick 4 times. and most times it was directly traceable to someone else in the house. #i am filled with such unspeakable violence i need to leave i need to leave i need to leave #GUESS IM NOT GONNA EAT FOR A WEEK BECAUSE GOD FORBID I INTRODUCE A PATHOGEN INTO MY SYSTEM #<- i know this is not how it works but that is how my brain has rationalized it for decades

[arthur-r]

something’s just not right / there’s hunger in my eyes, but you’re not looking into mine / in the morning light / i wake up next to you, but we’re no longer entwined / i want to love you with a ravenous hunger, tear your flesh into mine / you say you like me, but you’d rather that i listen quiet, keep it all inside / i romanticize a lust for blood and the glint of evil in your eyes / any kind of sign, something to tell me that your heart is burning just like mine / rend me to pieces if that’s what it takes to tell me that i taste divine / there’s something wrong but i just can’t quite place it, leave me on the precipice, i’m fine / something awakening and stirring inside me / i’m gearing up, your pretense in decline / i slice my heart up on a platter and find that you don’t even wanna dine / i gave my soul up, you can eat me raw / diced up and vulnerable, i’m yours to try / you’re glancing to the side, bored, and find that you don’t even wanna dine!!!!

#round 2 of recording my loser boring cannibalism song #(it has more words now. it is still not a complete song but it is getting somewhere….) #basically i really like cannibalism as a literary device and devouring somebody and being like violently enamored #and i convinced myself that my relationship was really good and healthy and i just don’t know how to handle a Good Normal Relationship #but secretly loving somebody should be at least a LITTLE BIT like cannibalism. especially if you’re me #so i got really hungry and he didn’t ever lift a finger for me or smile in my direction #and i wish he would just be hungry for me back. kill me a little bit if it would mean you care #i just thought that Normal People should be Normal about each other and he was just being Normal about me #when he like. did not prioritize me ever. and was only affectionate when he was drunk 🫠 #he does NOT deserve to be the one who ended the relationship!!!! #anyway i would rather he eat me alive than not even look at me. and that’s what this song is about #and i’m gonna raise my standards so much fucking higher. he should be fucking hungry for me actually #literally and figuratively shdhdf i was always the one to invite him to dinner too. #and he was SHIT at communion motif. that guy had awful fucking table manners why did i date him #anyway shdhdf. idk here is round two of my hungry song #i’ve already changed the lyrics a little since recording this a couple mornings ago but it’s FINE my roommate is in here so can’t re-record #but: there’s something wrong but i’m not ready to face it. actually. cause it was so fucking obvious i was just willfully ignorant #anyways!! i’m feeling a little weird today and i haven’t done anything and i want to play music but i can’t. so i’m posting a song instead #and later i might be going to a concert?? we’ll see. if i’m feeling better physically by then!! #anyway i hope everybody is doing okay and lmk if you need anything!! sincerely arthur #me. my post. mine. #delete later (probably) #music

[todayisafridaynight]

ARE YOU READYYYY

#snap chats #IM GONNA THROW UP ITS REALLY HERE #i wasnt going to get snacks but. i got paid today. it was a sign #plus the game still had to download and i needed to kill time SOMEHOW #at the very least my dad got me the cookies last week so <3 #‘snap what kind of gamer eats a salad and drinks water’ A REAL GAMER KNOWS HE NEEDS HIS ENERGY TO KEEP PLAYING #plus the chips and cookies are there too ok. #so glad my roommates and i dont interact cause i couldnt explain to them #why im sitting in the dark suddenly with this shrine to men while i wolf down food #im gonna do a split omfg im so excited to play THIS IS WHAT WE’VE BEEN WAITING FOR BOYS #HALF A YEAR SHOUT OUT TO EVERYONE WHO MADE IT YOURE SO STRONG AND IM PROUD OF YOU #also final reminder if i post bout this game ill use the tag ‘ishin spoilers’ #ill also just use ‘spoilers’ like i did in the past so block those now if you havent #games almost done downloading ima sit in the dark a lil more and then its game time hehehe

[girlwithfish]

my ex is so funny hell be like u scratched me u hit me ur the abusive one. well my guy when u hold me down to the bed and physically and forcefully restrain me yeah i will fucking fight u back lol ur being violent first

#he really thinks itso k to do that shit its the most messedu p part #and when he was trying to convince me we could be roommates he was like im never gonna hold u down or do anything to u anymore cuz ur not m #gf anymore #LIKE???? Just cuz i was ur gf doesnt mean it was ok for u to be doing all that be fr #i told him id kill him once after he got really violent first by wrenching my phone out of my hands #then when i reacted negatively he pushed me on the bed no reason and got on top of me and i started fightinf back and #he started hitting me and pulling my hair and then after all that was done he dragged me across the floor into the bathroom and shut the #door and i said ill fucking kill him if he tries to do anything bc what the fuck man #Sorry tjis is heavy im just pissed off bc what a fucking violent fucked up man lol #And then hes like ur the abusive one u said ud kill me! #bro literally dragged me by my leg across the floor after beating me LMAOOOO #i have to see his stupid ass tomorrow. lol #abuse tw

[lonewolflink]

if i had to discover this video today and suffer, so does everyone else

Source: tiktok.com

#chaeryeong why #i literally can't even look at ryujin because i'd need to look away from chaeryeong to do that #the sweatpants #the CLEAN air force ones #the abs #the open button down #the boy group energy #pushing her hair back halfway through the video (i'm gagged) #the LIP BITE (im gonna kms) #literally everything she does in the last 10 seconds (i died and it brought me back to life to kill me again) #i'm on my knees forreal #death by lee chaeryeong #maybe yeji doesn't have the biggest dick in itzy #maybe #just maybe #it's chaeryeong #go itzy go #the way this is hockey au ryuryeong energy as roommates tho #hockey au

[nomaishuttle]

i hate it when i get emails that my roommates havent paid their portion of the rent yet like damn not my problem i pay over a week early leave me out of this.

#i was gonna say the math is weirding me out but the email just straight up didnt say what we actually owed lmao so its all good #the email said it was like 940 its actualy like 1120.i was abt to kill bc i was like ok.. i pay 515... somebody else oays 515 bc 1030 is #already paid... the two pet owners havent paid yet... so why r they only paying 470. #but its just that the email was wrong abt the number lol..so no worries #its also like. rent isnt due for another 2 days i truly donot care if my roommates havent paid it

[dadturnedbarbarian]

obligatory scary marlowe for the night, headcanons below :3

- scary doesn't even know where she got this shirt. she found it and then started listening to the glenn close trio. is it terrys? is it larks? is it nicks? who knows.

- scary tries to convince people her hair is naturally purple, and that the only part that's dyed is the pink... even her mom - who is the one who buys her hair dye

( - she obv dyes it at home. this girl has never once in her life gone to a salon )

- taylor keeps giving her chains because she wore one with an outfit a week into the school year, so now she wears them every day

- she doesn't take off the stupid yellow bracelet linc gave her. no matter what.

- scary tries to get the boys to wash their face more, but they never do. linc however, has always loved skincare so when they hangout they have a little skincare and makeup session

- linc knows scary really misses soccer, so sometimes he invites her over when his dads are gone and they play in his backyard

( - linc has turned her into an avid fifa player, but you couldn't waterboard that information out if her )

#dndads #dndads quest #dndads s2 #scary marlowe #lincoln li wilson #i was gonna put more effort into drawing this but im more of a writer than an artist and im eepy #dndads fanart #my roommate is yelling into a asmr microphone while playing minecraft w his discord gf #kill me #yes i typed my username instead of writing it idk #I DRAW ON MY PHONE W MY CHUBBY FINGERS LEAVE ME ALONE #(no one said anything)

[scattered-winter]

woe another tag vent session be upon ye

#one of the girls in my class looks just like her. oh my god. #like im not being dramatic i literally thought it was her in my peripheral vision. #literally almost burst into tears in the middle of the room lmaooooooo #and then for the rest of the day every time i saw someone with her hair color i just saw her. #this shit sucks fr y'all i have never almost cried in public this much #and then i had to drive to pick up some groceries and fuck. #ive never been an anxious driver. i quite enjoy driving actually. #but i literally almost had a panic attack when i first pulled onto the road. i was so fucking anxious the entire time i was behind the whee #someone came up behind me pretty fast and i legit had to pull over to calm down it was so bad #so uh. not gonna be driving for a while lol. gonna kill myself or someone else doing that. #idk. idk i think this has me pretty messed up and i probably will be for a while. idk #my roommates and i finally decorated our living room and it was . fun. we laughed and made jokes and it was fun #but well. predictably i am feeling guilty over having fun now. which sucks ass from every angle #should i probably maybe make an appointment for therapy ???? probably ??????????? #idk. might be good to talk all this out out loud yk. but also i Know i will cry and i dont want to do that. #sigh. anyway. #also predictably i cannot sleep. couldnt last night either. #i might go paint in the living room. i dont know. #anyway if u read this whole rant ily ur earning the veteran's pass to Winter's Breakdown Sessions #winter speaks #personal #grief tag #<- once again if u need to blacklist. will not hold it against anybody i prommy #tw death #tw panic attack

[autistic-shaiapouf]

Mystery bugs in my home and I don't recognize them! I've seen a few around at this point and might make a more formal post about it tomorrow but, mystery bugs below the cut if anyone wants to take a shot at helping me ID them:

Not the best pics but it's got an abdomen with clear markings that make me think either roach or earwig, but photos of the nymphs of either don't seem to be matching up; granted I only looked for maybe 5 minutes and mightve missed something obvious but this guy's not ringing any bells for me

#I'm about to head to bed and have quarantined the perpetrator; i feel a little bad but i dont know what he is yet #I'd feel comfortable letting an earwig or smthn like that hang out but. i have reasonable suspicion hanging around this man #bc the apartment is a little messy and. if he is a roach i may bail and look for another room U_U full respect to them #ive seen lots of pet roaches and they make me quite happy to see but idk if I want them free roaming my house... #especially knowing i can't kill them; last time i killed bugs it was a bunch of ants in the pantry and it took an emotional toll on me 😭 #I'd go the long and intensive route if it means i can keep them all alive but i know a lot of people don't swing that way #in that particular case i figured my roommates would prefer the ants to not be able to come back + the way to the backyard #door I would have taken them out of wasn't easily accessible so. massacre it was U_U #if you wanted to know ANYTHING about the type of person i am know that i physically cannot kill a bug or else I'll start crying #they're literally just little guys they're just existing!!! i can't punish them for just hanging out!!!! anyways #unfortunately small photogenic man may perish in captivity but that may afford better photo ops hmmmmm #i just need the knowledge base before i make any other judgements #you know what. let's put this in some tags actually; i was gonna formally rewrite this but may as well tag while I'm here #bugs #bugblr #insect identification #hoatm rants #I'm not overly concerned but ive seen a number of these inside now and this is the first one that's made its way to my room

[i-am-a-fucking-nerd]

have a horrible headache and usually headaches are a combo of things (esp not eating/sleeping enough) which could be the reason i have one today but. also i smoked thu which was 2 days ago and usually i get a headache 2 days after smoking. and im just. i already wrote a diary entry talking abt it and how i feel guilty and bad for like a million different reasons but now i'm also just incredibly frustrated w myself bc why do i do this!!!!!!!!!!!! i can go weeks and months w/o smoking i don't NEED to do this!!!!!

#smoking #tw smoking #havilah's thoughts #addiction #tw addiction #nicotine #like i feel like i Know that i can just not smoke idk why i sometimes do it anyway bc it's literally only negatives #i've never had a.... i guess a 'strong' smoking habit? like usually it is weeks and v often it is months btwn cigs #i just sometimes get mad and wanna do Smth that will make me feel more bad but also kinda better????????? it doesn't make sense i know #this time i felt Particularly guilty bc just a little bit ago i was hanging out w my friend and he hugged me and told me he's glad i haven' #been smoking a lot lately and a buncha nice things i'll keep to myself but. i just. and then i got home and had a letter from my grandma #that was so so sweet and my grandma used to smoke and she quit before i was born and she used to tell me when i was a kid how horrible it i #and now i have a headache and i /hate/ headaches and it felt dirty and i felt slimy for hiding it from my roommate n for feeling like i was #lying to ppl that care abt me #i know i felt calm too. i know it somewhat feels nice. the sensation is diff from anything else and i like it. i know i sometimes need to d #smth that feels. like. drastic and like it's gonna kill me w/o killing me #but it just. i KNOW that it's not worth it later!!!!!!! i know that i feel horrible and the negatives outweigh the positives by a lot!!!!!! #but i never throw away the pack. it's like. idk. idk what to do to just Not do it. #anyway uh. lemme put additional warnings for what i ended up saying in the tags #suicide #suicidal ideation #depression #i guess idk. just covering my bases i guess so ppl don't see smth they don't wanna see

[paintingofapples]

YESSSS Kimberly Akimbo best original score and best featured actress, let's gooooo!

#when they announced that bonnie milligan won i literally yelled YES and clapped #my dorm roommates are gonna kill me tomorrow #i also sent like 100 messages to my best friend liveblogging everything #tony awards #lb

[samwisefamgee]

The funny thing about constantly telling yourself that things could be worse is that sometimes. They are :)

#youd think the moldy trailer was gonna be rock bottom #but apparently its staying in a basement covered in the dust of a thousand thousand catshits #with the same people who traumatized me over 22 years until I moved into the moldy box in the first place :) #because im STILL dumb enough to believe their promises after decades of betrayal! or more accurately i dont get the choice lol #either way if i dont get outta here fast it is game the fuck over. been too much mental and physical pain for this shit to be worth it #fucked anyway given how much debt and permanent degenerative damage has been done but at least I can live whatever shit years I get left #in relative peace #I mean fuck I used all my fucking energy yesterday doing shit for them instead of taking care of my own stuff and WHY #all I got was get asked over and over to work even fucking harder like what the fuck did I expect #years pass and nothing changes for the better with these people what the fuck #and even if I DO manage to find somwhere to stay with folks who WONT lie to me for years to abuse my labor and psyche #I'll be broken in body and mind and spirit and ill need a job within the week to not fall behind #i still havent gotten on my feet and every attempt to rely on family. no matter who. #was just an excuse for them to use me for all I had for nothing in return #cant exactly find roommates with no money no credit no will to live and 20 problems on top of that that mean I cant pay rent yet #and without any family who wont try to kill me slowly or any friends who arent so fucked themselves they cant help its lookin like #im fucked once again gang #to think i was so fucking close to escaping all of this before the pandemic happened lol. even what I had then just isnt possible anymore #if I hear one more baseless 'things get better with time :)))' I WILL vomit until I choke to death like buddy that just isnt true sometimes #straight up some people are born to eat shit and die. babies get cancer. its been 24 consecutive years of eating it and I aint whistful fam #not anymore at least #keep sayin 'well it could be worse' when its about the worst its been and youre just asking fate to prove you right #only reason Im not completely homeless instead of technically homeless is that folks actually on the streets are much tougher sort than I #gonna jinx this whole fuckin rant but it really is a fuckin joke. i cant live like this but most folk Ive met on the street #would jump the moon just to live in the moldy trailer I got kicked out of let alone a filthy basement. #this COULD be a home I could work and live out of. fellas is it picky to prefer despair over living with people who traumatize you #does that answer change depending on circumstance and time or is there truly no justification in not making your life worth it #or am I really just the pathetic stoner burnout dropout that my folks see me as? I mean categorically yes. #is there any justification redemption or even just comfort to be found in that state considering the Weight that induced it #does it even matter if no other person knows what that Weight has been or for how long its built. if no one ever will know? whats the point

[baandar]

first estrodial injection and i’m so nervous

#my roommate wsa like. that freaks me out really bad. i can't help you inject it #so now im like ... is it gonna fucking kill me if i miss?? like