#my shit doesn’t get attention as it is so the least tumblr could do for me is this much jfc

[fadedin2u]

pick up and roll the dice - ch. 3

read in between the lines, i know you love me…

summary: you plan a surprise for ellie’s birthday, and ellie’s doesn’t know what to do about her overwhelming feelings for you.

content: college!au, childhood best friends!au, dealer!ellie, fem!reader, modern!au, ellie is a simp (not surprising), ur also a simp, art major!ellie, kinda slow burn??

word count: 2k

warnings: none really for this chapter!! expect nsfw chapters in the future so MDNI 18+

notes: it bums me tf out how little attention ellie fluff gets on tumblr, but i love writing this series, so if u like to read it, like/reblogs are SO appreciated

read chapters one and two here!

── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──

The day after the party, Ellie’s a wreck. She barely got a wink of sleep that night, unable to stop ruminating on how much she’s fucking up her friendship with you by having this soul-consuming want for you. It’s not like Ellie doesn’t know how bad this could all end. You’re not only her closest friend, one of the few people she actually trusts, but you’re her goddamn roommate. If Ellie fucks this up, there’s no escaping the awkwardness that would inevitably ensue, plus risk losing you completely.

So, she texts Kylie.

E: hey, sorry for going MIA lmao, things got busy, would u wanna grab dinner w me on friday?

Ellie sits down on her bed and rubs her temples. She doesn’t even like Kylie very much, but she’s available, and she’s clearly interested in Ellie, so at the very least Kylie can be a distraction from you.

Ellie feels a black hole of guilt swirling in her stomach from leading Kylie on, but it dissipates as quickly as it came on when you burst through into dorm, kicking off your shoes that you wore to your morning classes. Ellie, usually, is still asleep when you leave for classes, but this morning, she was just lying in bed, completely awake, as she listened to you getting ready, pushing through your hangover.

“Happy 20th Birthday eve!” You exclaim, giving Ellie a bright, cheeky grin.

She rolls her eyes, trying to conceal her smile, “You’re such a fucking dork.

You shrug and laugh, “Hey, it takes one to know one.”

You notice the dark circles under her eyes and frown slightly, “You look like shit.”

Ellie huffs a laugh, “Thanks.”

You sit across from Ellie on your own dorm-style twin bed. “You’re free tomorrow, right?”

Ellie nods, “I’m getting breakfast with Joel that morning, but yeah, I’ll be free after.”

You grin, and mischievous look on your face, “Good.”

Ellie raises an eyebrow, “Should I be worried?”

You shake your head, “Nah, you’ll love it. I just can’t wait to see your reaction. Just make sure you’re here at the dorm by 5pm, okay?”

Ellie puts up her hand, raising two fingers, “Scout’s honor.”

You snort, standing up to walk to the bathroom, “That’d probably mean more if you were actually a Scout.”

Ellie scoffs, “I know way more about survival than any of those dipshits, I’m basically an honorary scout, if you think about it.”

You rolls your eyes and laugh, “Whatever helps you sleep at night, Els.”

—————

The next day, Ellie’s playing the guitar that Joel made her for her birthday when you walk into the dorm at 5pm sharp.

“Happy Birthday Ellie-Bellie!” You exclaim, knowing her deep-seated hatred for her childhood nickname as you throw a handful of streamers in her direction.

She keeps herself from laughing, “You’re cleaning that up, right?”

You give her a look, “No, I was planning on making you my maid on your birthday. Now come on, we need to get going!”

She puts her guitar to the side and stands up, smoothing out the wrinkles in her t-shirt and cargo pants with her hands.

“Is that from Joel?” You ask, motioning to the guitar.

Ellie nods and smiles wide, “Yeah, he made it for me, it’s super sweet.”

You examine the guitar’s craftsmanship as Ellie laces up her converse.

“You’re not driving right?” She asks.

You give her another look, “I have to, it’s a surprise destination. You can’t drive somewhere you don’t even know you’re going to.”

She groans, “And to think I didn’t even give Joel a proper goodbye.”

You kick her shin playfully, “Shut up, you’ll be fine. I’m an… okay driver.”

Ellie starts walking out of the dorm building with you, “Does an ‘okay driver’ almost commit vehicular manslaughter twice?”

Your face goes hot, “Those kids appeared out of no where, and I stand by that. Besides, the key word is ‘almost’, babe.”

Ellie doesn’t look convinced.

“Besides, you get to be my passenger princess for today,” You say with an obnoxiously cocky grin as you walk into the parking lot.

Ellie rubs her face, “Jesus fucking Christ.”

You giggle and walk up to your car, opening the passenger door for Ellie, to which Ellie rolls her eyes at, but you can see that she’s trying not to smile.

You hop in the driver’s seat and say, “Birthday girl gets aux.”

Ellie plays a lot of 80s music during your drive into the city to her surprise destination, her taste in music developed during her years living with Joel. Halfway through Take On Me by A-ha, you pull into a parking lot.

You and Ellie get out of the car and you start leading her to a large building. Once you two can see the sign that reads “The Hansen Planetarium”, a giddy grin breaks out on Ellie’s face.

“Oh fuck yeah, we’re going to the planetarium?!” Ellie asks, walking faster.

You laugh and catch up with her, “What can I say? I know my girl.”

Ellie’s face goes a bit pink and she tucks some loose hair from her half-up bun behind her ear, “Yeah, I guess you do.”

You show the person at the planetarium’s front desk your confirmation for the tickets you bought beforehand, and you go inside.

Ellie stops to read nearly every blurb that’s written in front of each display, and you patiently wait for her, wanting her to take her time and fully enjoy the experience.

In between reading and examining the exhibits, Ellie is listing off factoid after factoid.

“Y’know, Neptune’s only made one full orbit around the sun since its discovery.”

“There’s actually some gravity on the International Space Station, which is kinda weird honestly.”

“Dude, do you know that the moon is really shaped like a lemon?”

You raise an eyebrow at that one, “You’re lying.”

Ellie laughs, “I am not! It’s fucking crazy! It looks round in the night sky, but I swear on my life it’s really shaped like a lemon.”

You shrug, still doubtful but accepting that Ellie’s probably not wrong, knowing her long-time obsession with space.

By the time you’ve made it through the all of the exhibits, Ellie is a little bummed.

“I almost wish there was more to look at, I don’t wanna say goodbye yet,” she says and your lips quirk up into a knowing smile.

“Yeah, it sure is too bad that there’s nothing else to do. On an unrelated note, follow me.”

You lead Ellie to the entrance of the Dome Theater inside the planetarium, and Ellie’s eyes light up when she reads the sign.

“Rock the Dome? Dude. Is this a laser show?”

You laugh and nod, glad that you guessed correctly that Ellie, the nerd she is, would be genuinely excited about this.

Ellie pulls you into a tight hug, “What the fuck? You know me too well.”

Your cheeks go hot and you giggle a little, “Well, at least we can agree on that.”

You give the Usher the tickets you pre-paid for, and let Ellie pick your seats in the Dome Theater, the night sky projected onto the curved walls surrounding you.

When she sits, you sit next to her and she immediately grabs your hand.

“Thank you. Seriously. This is… Genuinely one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me.” Ellie says, squeezing your hand with a soft look in her eyes.

You squeeze her hand back, hoping you don’t look as flustered as you feel. “It’s seriously no big deal, Els. You’re my best friend, you deserve this.”

Ellie looks down at her lap and smiles a little, but doesn’t let go of your hand as the laser show starts, fog machines starting to pump out misty clouds into the room that makes the light from the lasers almost look solid.

Your mind is racing as the music comes on, mesmerizing the crowd with the lasers dancing in coordination, ‘This is platonic, right? This has to be platonic. Ellie’s just being appreciative of what I did for her. Jesus fucking Christ, maybe this isn’t platonic?’

You decided to not think about it too much at that moment, and try to enjoy the spectacle of color and light before your eyes.

———

The show included a lot of classic rock from the 80s, including Queen, the Stones, Bowie, Talking Heads, and The Clash. Ellie was awestruck, singing under her breath to every song that she knew, while you tried not to smile too big at how cute she was being.

By the time you two are back at the dorm, Ellie is completely over the moon.

“This was seriously the best birthday I’ve had yet. A new guitar from Joel, planetarium, and a laser show? This day fuckin’ ruled.”

You giggle and go over to your closet, “Well, it’s not quite over yet.”

Ellie narrows her eyes, “No way. You’ve already done so much.”

You pull a thin, wrapped gift from the top of your small closet, and bring it over to where Ellie’s standing.

“I wanted to do so much,” You say, rubbing the back of your neck.

Ellie takes the gift from you and sits down on her bed, intrigued.

“Can I open it?” She asks.

You laugh, “No, I just brought over your birthday gift so you could check out my wrapping job. Go open it, dumbass.”

Ellie chuckles and tears open the wrapping paper, her face morphing into shock as she sees the Special Edition “Savage Starlight” comic book in her hands.

“Holy fuck,” Ellie says, staring at it a second longer before nearly lunging forward to hug you.

You stumble back a bit, laughing as you wrap your arms around her as well.

“I’m guessing that was a good choice?”

Ellie guffaws, “Are you fucking kidding? It’s perfect. How the fuck did you find this, dude?”

You shrug , smiling to yourself, “I have my ways.”

Ellie pulls back from the hug, her freckled face a little pink as she looks back down at the comic book.

“This is too much. Like, way too much.”

You shrug, “Once again, you deserve it.”

Ellie looks down, smiling to herself, “Still. You’re just… This is so fucking thoughtful.”

You laugh a little, feeling flustered by this whole interaction, “What can I say? I have a lot of thoughts in this head, I gotta make good use of them.”

‘So fucking dumb, oh my god,’ you think to yourself, wincing at your response.

Ellie rolls her eyes at you, but her grin is huge and pure. “I’m gonna use the bathroom super quick, but do you wanna read it with me after?”

You smile wide, sitting on her bed, “Absolutely.”

Ellie races to your shared bathroom, and as she’s gone, you pull out your phone and scroll absentmindedly.

You’re pulled away from your phone when you hear Ellie’s phone buzz on her bedside table, right next to you, the screen lit up.

Before you have time to shame yourself for intruding on her personal business, you glance over at her screen, where a text is shown:

Kylie: I would love that! :) what time were you thinking?

Your stomach fills with dread and complete embarrassment. You should’ve known better than to think that Ellie holding your hand was anything more than platonic, that Ellie would ever see you more than her best friend. You knew that Ellie has never, and will never see you the way you see her, and you still let yourself get butt hurt over something as stupid as her getting a text from someone else.

‘I’m so fucking dumb, this is my own damn fault for getting my hopes up.’

You try to go back to scrolling through your phone, but your churning stomach keeps distracting you from thinking about what’s on your own screen, still thinking about the text you saw on Ellie’s.

When Ellie comes back in the room, she tears open the plastic packaging on the comic book and tosses herself onto her bed, pressed against you.

You move away from her slightly, “You ready?”

Ellie’s chest pangs with slight hurt, seeing you distance yourself from her.

“Uh, yeah! Let’s see what the Traveler’s are up to this time,” She says, trying to cover up how let down she is that you clearly don’t want to cuddle with her as usual.

You cross your arms and legs, leaning against the wall against Ellie’s bed. You’re barely able to see the full page of the comic book, but you don’t really care, it’s not like you’ll be able to think of anything except for that text.

Ellie glances over at you, her face crestfallen as she bites her lip, before pulling it together and getting into her “narrator” voice.

“The year is 2186, light years away from planet Earth…”

── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──

read texts w/ reader and ellie here

i realized i don’t have a taglist for this so lmk if you’d like to be added!

taglist: @elsbabyxx @mikellie

#rose writes #ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #tlou2 #tlou #ellie x reader #ellie williams fanfic #ellie fluff #ellie williams fluff #ellie x y/n #ellie x fem reader

[projectbluearcadia]

I Am and Always Will Be

(Coping) Lucifer x GN!MC

[ Story Premise - Lucifer gets upset because you don't value yourself. ]

TW: SELF-HARM, SUICIDAL IDEATION

Note: The reason I have not marked this as mature is because everyone, including those who are underage, should know that they should seek help. If tumblr decides to give me a slap on the wrist for this, then so be it.

Wordcount: 1652

You don’t really remember how it first started.

  A heartbreaking comment from a cherished friend, and suddenly you’re in the nearest bathroom with your hands on the sink. You look at yourself in the mirror, and all you can think is that there is something less than human staring back at you. Something cruel and hideous and malformed. You hate it. You hate it. You hate it so much that it makes your skin crawl. It makes your eyes water and your teeth clench. 

You can’t escape it. You can’t run away. You can’t even scream, because what would be the point? You’d only attract attention to yourself in the most awkward place possible, where at least one person was trying to take a shit in peace. You can’t stand yourself. My personality is the problem. Every single time I try to make things work, it just turns to nothing. I overreact, and then it all falls apart. I’m so sick of myself. 

You’re sick of it.

And that’s when you finally turn to it. To the only thing that stopped you from feeling like this, even temporarily. A blade, one that had broken free of your cheap shaving razor after you threw it one too many times. I want to see this horrid blood spill. I want it. I need it. 

You drew a thin line. A thicker line. A deep line. 

Your skin, already scarred in some places, was quickly smearing with blood. Drenched. The toilet flushes, and in hindsight, you vaguely realize that doing this in a public bathroom was a dreadful idea, and you leave, adrenaline pounding through your veins—

  No one can know. No one should know. I don’t want them to know. 

—Despite the fact that your blood is leaving a trail behind you, leaving you weaker and weaker with every step. It’s practically gushing from your wounds, and you start to sniffle. It doesn’t really hurt; no, the rush is still too strong. But for some reason, you can’t stop yourself from crying. 

“Hey, someone spilled their Koolaid Ja… Holy SHIT!?” the person, likely from the bathroom screamed, and they fumbled at their phone as you ran further, further, further. “Why are you running away?! You’re bleeding!” Maybe I want to be bleeding, you have the time to think before a sudden bout of dizziness floods your brain. You collapse. You fall. 

And fall. 

<><><>

Surprisingly, you wake up. Funny; you wished you didn’t. Was this it? Was this your first (or was it second?) commitment to the hospital? 

“Lucifer, they’re awake,” came a soft man’s voice, and no sooner had it come than was a man by your side. One with jet-black hair and tragically garnet eyes. 

“MC,” he whispers, his hand caressing your cheek with shuddering fingers, and you find yourself realizing that was a dream. Or, rather, the reliving of how you came to live in the Devildom. You’ve been living here for months now, with Lucifer and his brothers in the House of Lamentation. You’ve been… enjoying living here. How could I wish that I wasn’t alive here? 

“We took away their dagger,” Barbatos said gently as Lucifer shook, holding onto you. “They are okay.” 

“MC, why did you do something like that?” Lucifer whispered, leaning his head into the pillow, right next to your head. His voice agonizingly shuddering, and your body wracks itself with guilt. “MC, MC, MC…” I should have finished the job so he wouldn’t have to feel like this. 

“...I thought I hurt you,” you mumble. You expect him to yell, but the voice that comes from his mouth is soft and excruciatingly slow as he struggles not to sob. 

“And you thought this would hurt me less?” 

“Over time… yeah.” 

“MC…” he whispers, and he sharply sniffles. It hurts to hear—the avatar of pride, breaking down and starting to cry because of you. Because of what you did. I should have eaten the rat poison. “How could you think that leaving a hole in my heart would hurt me less over time? What have I done to make you think that you’re not important to me? I haven’t been able to think for the past three days.”

“...I’m sorry.” You look away from his shoulder, shortly finding that Barbatos has quietly left so that you’re permitted privacy. “I just… I don’t know…” Your eyes prickle. “I-I just… I hate myself so much for what I put you through, and I… I can’t take it anymore.” 

“And you think the best way to put me out of my misery is to rip out half my soul?” Lucifer gasps, and his tears hit your cheek as he finally brings his face up from the pillow to look at you. To show you the tears streaking down his pale, beautiful face. “Why didn’t you tell me anything? I already knew that you hurt yourself in the past, so why did you have to do it again, after all this time? What did I do to make you feel like that?” 

“It’s not you…” 

“It must be!” Lucifer retorts hoarsely, his hot tears splashing your forehead. “You’re supposed to be my partner, and I’m supposed to protect you! I couldn’t do that, so tell me why you couldn’t trust me! Please!” 

“I…” Your voice is breaking up. From one hellish scene to another, you’re not sure how much your heart can take. “I’m sorry. I-I thought… I thought…you would hate me.” The mere thought sends your lacrimal glands into a frenzy as you realize he might hate you now. “I-I couldn’t bear to… lose someone else… so I…” 

“Shhhh,” Lucifer hushes with anxious shudders, and he hugs you so tightly you wonder if he might be trying to break your ribcage. You can feel his ragged breathing, his racing pulse. You almost break into an incomprehensible mess right then and there, unable to speak a single word. “I love you. I love you. I love you,” he murmurs, rocking you with him as you sniffle and try your damndest to get ahold of yourself. “I will always love you.”

“What if I kill one of your brothers?” 

“You would never do that,” Lucifer murmurs, trying his hardest not to let his voice tremble.  

“You don’t know that.” 

“Yes, I do. I know you, MC.” 

“No, you don’t. There are parts of me you’ll never know. There are parts of me you shouldn’t know.”

“I want to know.” 

You shake your head. 

“You can’t just keep hiding everything. I hate it when you do. Don’t you think I’m strong enough of a person to talk to you when you want to kill yourself?” 

“You don’t know what it’s like,” you whisper. 

“That’s irrelevant,” he says, recovering some of his usual sternness as he sniffles. “I don’t need to know how exactly it feels. I just need to know that you’re in pain. I just need to know if there’s anything I can do, anything I can’t do. Please, MC, I can’t just watch. That’s the only thing I’m not strong enough to do. Just indulge my selfishness and just… just lean on me. I don’t care if I have to take the entire burden myself.” 

“You’re already carrying too much…” 

“Me?!” Lucifer growled as he pulled away from you. “I’m not the one in agony! It’s true that I’m stressed, and I usually have a lot on my plate. But it stresses me infinitely more that my own lover won’t tell me about their problems! How hard do I have to drill it into your head that you come first?!” 

“...sorry.” 

Lucifer sighs deeply and heavily before he leans his head against yours, his fingers nestling into your hair, massaging your scalp. 

“Please… don’t ever do that again,” he murmurs. “If you’re scared of losing me, then don’t eliminate any possibility of ever seeing me again. I don’t know where you’ll go when you die, but it won’t be here.” 

“I get it, and I’m sorry,” you mumble. 

“Do you get it?” 

“I get that you’re mad at me…” 

“Did you listen to a damn word I said?!” Lucifer snaps, his voice breaking again, and you flinch in his arms before he squeezes you again. “I’m not angry with you. I’m upset and scared. Do you have any idea what it feels like to not be able to protect someone that matters to you? That the person you love doesn’t even think they’re worth protecting? That I can’t help you through the monstrosities that plague your mind?

You can’t find it in yourself to answer. It’s painful to try. 

“I’m begging you, MC…promise me. Promise me you’ll help me help you. I could live knowing that you are happy even if it’s in the human world. All I want is for you to live a full, happy life. I know you, and I know that you deserve that.” 

“Do I? I’ve done so many things…”

“I let my own sister die,” Lucifer replies somberly. “I brought Satan into the world, confused and angry. I didn’t know that the only reason Asmo thought I kept him around was because of his beauty. I let Levi feel inferior. I locked away Belphie when we could have just talked… there are so many things I’ve done wrong, before and after falling from Heaven, and I hated myself for it. But I was the only one who kept hating myself after Belphie forgave me, after Satan accepted me. Anger is brief, MC. I, and everyone else, care about you so much more than all of the bad things that might make up your mistakes in life. I am, and always will, feel that way. I am, and always will, be there for you. Even on the occasions where I am not physically there, I am still there for you.” 

“Always?” 

“Always. So promise me… okay?” 

From the author: As fans of my work may have guessed, I have been on both sides of this conversation many times. Talking about it was the best thing I, and people I knew, ever did. And, believe it or not, Lucifer has genuinely comforted me in both scenarios. I hope to have imparted some of that onto the audience regardless of whether or not they are struggling with depression, self-harm, or suicidal urges. The storm may rage, but I believe that we can be stronger than it if we stop trying to weather it alone. Thank you for reading my two cents, and I hope that both I and you can spread life and love rather than hatred and death.

Obligatory Suicide Hotline Information

(Seriously, PLEASE CALL THESE IF YOU'RE STRUGGLING)

U.S. 988

Canada 833-456-4566

Australia 13114

U.K. 0800-689-5652

For other countries and counseling services that may be available in your country -> OpenCounseling

#obey me lucifer #obey me lucifer x mc #please talk to people who care #obey me shall we date #fanfiction #obey me! #lucifer x mc #lucifer simp #comfort #reassurance #obey me angst #suicide #self care #lucifer x gn!mc #recovery #self acceptance #healing journey #coping #self compassion

[irrealisms]

if you can live your life without an audience, you should do it.

The Truman Show // MAG188 - Centre of Attention // Twitter: TubboLive // Can't Handle This (Kanye Rant) - Bo Burnham // Wilbur Soot VOD (Oct 17th 2020) - [DreamSMP] Speedy Stream Festival What festival // MAG117 - Testament // Margaret Atwood - The Robber Bride // @elytrians // MAG188 - Centre of Attention // The Truman Show (edit by @parakeet) // Untitled #15 by @that-house // something about a truman show complex, greek heroes, and the illusion of free will. by @yuker // Tom Stoppard - Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead // Bo Burnham - Inside // you're fairly certain there's a curtain somewhere by @irrealisms

[IDs under cut]

Images 1 and 2: Screenshots of the Truman Show. The Closed Captions read "Let me get you some help, Truman. You're not well."

Image 3: ARCHIVIST: Hm. You want a show so badly?  Fine.

Image 4: a twitter poll by @TubboLive. text of the tweet is "What do we do..." Options are "Exile Tommy", with 55.8% of the vote, and "Don't Exile Tommy", with 44.2% of the vote.

Image 5: The truth is, my biggest problem's you/I want to please you/But I want to stay true to myself/I want to give you the night out that you deserve/But I want to say what I think/And not care what you think about it/Part of me loves you/Part of me hates you/Part of me needs you/Part of me fears you/And I don't think that I can handle this right now"

Image 6: WILBUR: You're saying "do it", chat, but you're-- this isn't-- you aren't affected, you just want to see explosions, you guys aren't affected, I understand, I understand, I-- I've been hasty.

Image 7: TIM: All right. I don’t know what you are, I don’t even know if you’re listening. I don’t care. Just, if you’re there, I want you to know that I hate you. I hate you for, for witnessing what’s happened to us.

Image 8: “Male fantasies, male fantasies, is everything run by male fantasies? Up on a pedestal or down on your knees, it's all a male fantasy: that you're strong enough to take what they dish out, or else too weak to do anything about it. Even pretending you aren't catering to male fantasies is a male fantasy: pretending you're unseen, pretending you have a life of your own, that you can wash your feet and comb your hair unconscious of the ever-present watcher peering through the keyhole, peering through the keyhole in your own head, if nowhere else. You are a woman with a man inside watching a woman. You are your own voyeur.” ― Margaret Atwood, The Robber Bride

Image 9: a tumblr post by @elytrians. text: *coughs up blood* how do i look? do i look good? was that hot?

Image 10: She had once counted how many times she could spot a camera watching her during her morning run: thirty-one in ten minutes. At least, it had been back then. Last time she had tried it there were hundreds. They tracked her movements, and made so much noise she could not have ignored them if she tried. It was halfway between the mechanical whir of a focusing lens and the low rattle of mean-spirited laughter. Carmen didn’t go running anymore.

Image 11: The last scene of the Truman Show, edited to add a twitch chat full of PogChamp emotes.

Image 12: a comic of two squares talking. RED: I realized something. BLUE: Yeah? RED: This comic could just end. Without warning. The Creator could just get bored. BLUE: No closure, no catharsis, nothing. RED: Our recent few strips would make for unsatisfying ends. Maybe we should give every comic a satisfying conclusion. BLUE: But that’s life. Life doesn’t always have a satisfying ending. RED: This isn’t life, this is a comic. We can control it. We can make sure there’s a happy ending. BLUE: We can’t control jack shit. The comic’s ending is up to the Creator.

Image 13: a comic of Technoblade. He is sitting amongst scattered papers with his hands on his face. The scattered papers have the titles of various Technoblade DSMP Youtube videos written on them. Text on the image reads: “It can hurt, knowing you’re just a character with predetermined lines instead of a person with feelings. The voices are the audience and they’re constantly critiquing your performance.”

Image 14: ROS: I wish I was dead. (Considers the drop.) I could jump over the side. That would put a spoke in their wheel. GUIL: Unless they're counting on it. ROS: I shall remain on board. That'll put a spoke in their wheel. (The futility of it, fury.) All right! We don't question, we don't doubt. We perform.

Images 15, 16: Bo Burnham stands outside a house on a stage; there is a spotlight on him. the caption is [disembodied applause] He tries to reenter the house. the caption is [disembodied laughter].

Image 17: WILBUR: It’s better to play along. Give them what they want. Put on a show. Who cares who it hurts, as long as it’s fucking—influential? God, I hate it so much sometimes, I want to scream. And then I think, would they like that? Would that be entertaining enough for them? Still have to give them their performance. Even when I was dead I was still—I rehearsed my resurrection.  TECHNO: Dude, you need therapy.

#web weaving #therapists dni #a bit of a truman show complex #peering through the keyhole

[whorekneecentral]

can you please write something for neymar jr? he is all over my tiktok and there is literally no smut about him on tumblr

maybe something about him losing a fb match because of an unfair referee and just taking his anger out on you?

or something about him being jealous in a club maybe idk

im literally so starved, i'll take anything!

bestie you and me both, first it was him and now the world cup has taken over my wholeeeee fyp and I’m like ??? helloooo 

From the moment he walked in, you knew he was pissed. “Hey baby,” you called from the couch, your eyes fixed on the movie that was playing; you knew he would come to you in his own time and talk to you. 

“Hi,” he mumbles, walking off towards the bedroom. 

You hadn’t been able to join him for his game that day but you did end up watching it. It doesn't take a genius to know why he was mad. The ref made. shit call, Ney was not the biggest fan of the call to say the least. Unfortunately, that was football and you or Ney could do anything about it. 

The bathroom door slams shut and then the shower turns on shortly after. He’d come out soon enough or so you thought. 

When he arrived home, there was at least an hour left on your movie and you had finished it, watched 3 episodes of Jane the virgin and was now on episode number 4 when it hit you that he didn’t come out to find out. So you paused your show and ventured off towards the bedroom to find him. 

“Baby?” You call from outside the room, opening the door to peek in. He was sitting on the bed, scrolling his phone. “Talk to me,” you say, walking over to stand between his legs. 

Ney doesn’t react or look up at you, his eyes fixed on the phone. 

“Ney,” you pat the side of his thigh to get his attention. You were getting irritated by his attitude and pulled the phone away from him, setting it on the nightstand. 

“What’d you do that for?” He finally speaks and you roll your eyes. 

“You can’t avoid me forever just because you’re mad. We live together, remember ?” 

The man grabs your hand and gives you a pull, you end up face down on the bed before you roll over to look up at your boyfriend who was now hovering over you. 

You knew where this was going, his hands already making quick work of your shorts. He’s got your legs pushed back before you could even complain, lining himself up with you, the tip of his cock brushing against your clit. 

A hand wraps around his bicep, squeezing hard when you feel him push into you. “Ney,” you breathe, chest heaving when he rams into you over and over again. 

“Take it, hm?” He leans down to kiss you, your ankles over his shoulders now. His hand wraps around your throat, squeezing softly. “My good girl.” 

#neymar jr #neymar jr smut #neymar jr x reader

[theoddest1]

in the show alastor didn’t do shit, he helps make a commercial but it doesn’t get shown and was a waste of time. He protects the hotel but Vaggie and Charlie can easily protect it if Vaggie wasn’t an idiot and Charlie wasn’t so infantile and actually cared about her friends, again female characters are done so dirty. So what the fuck does he do? Be cringey tumblr creepypasta slenderman? He’s not even intimidating since he loses control of the situation and his emotions so quickly, he’s like Joffrey! A character written to be untouchable because he was all this power and control but be just a spoiled child throwing a tantrum. To be fair to Joffrey he is extremely well written and he was created to be hated and he was great

Alastor used to have a strong start as a confident individual who isn't afraid of doing what he wants and doesn't care for what others say or do as a result. The only time he lost his cool was when Angel offered his services or when Sir Pen came and interrupted his song number. Those were the only 2 times, and he managed a good recovery from both, showing how good his control over his overall image was, since his image means a lot to him.

Now he's just some piss baby who NEEDS people to recognize his greatness or at all miss his presence like some attention deficit baby that needs his milkies. It's such...a disappointment, to say the least....he used to be my favorite, but now I only enjoy Velvette, Zestial, and Vox on-screen displays of their personalities regardless of how short and poorly introduced they were (Velvette) since they still managed to shoe a semblance of an interesting personality that could work well in future episodes.

#hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel critical #hazbin hotel criticism #hazbin hotel critique #anon ask

[kavaeroexe]

Yandere Star Wars someone hurting their so?

S/O going to be on their full protection yeyeye

Stand back

Yandere!Star wars x reader

summary: You’re getting an injury and you need to retreat, what will they do?

warning: typos, bad grammar  

attention! please do not try to repost my works, I only post my works on Tumblr, if anyone see someone stole my works please inform me through the comments, tag me in the works, or message me!  

.

.

Anakin Skywalker

I’m pretty much sure he’ll fight faster and get you hidden as fast as possible

He’ll make sure to put you in a comfortable position if he needs to continue fighting the droid so he can open a way for both of you to get out

If you’re able to look at Anakin’s behavior while fighting, you could see his moves and his face is filled with rage, but you’re getting hut, you only focused to stay alive and relying yourself on him

let’s just say, he can’t control his anger the second he finds you getting shot by the droids

so why doesn’t he destroy them all?

with that much power pushed by anger and revenge for you, it’s easy to take care of such a mere droid.

he could never forgive those who hurt you.

but his mood changes when he approaches you and looks at you, he doesn’t want to scare you.

“You okay? alright keep your eyes open, we’re not far from the ship”

if you can’t walk, he’ll carry you in piggyback ride position or bridal style depending on the location of your injuries.

while resting on the medbay or on the ship, he’ll comfort you 24/7

“hold on dear, just hold on, look at me, don’t worry”

“you’re the one worrying so much Anakin”

“Well because if you do, I don’t know what should I do next”

.

.

Obi-wan Kenobi

this man is caring

retreat as soon as possible together so he could give you first treatment, then if he could avoid fighting, he’ll try to avoid it, but if he can’t he’ll guide you getting out and taking care of the rest

he wants you to avoid the battlefield as fast as possible

so you could get treatment faster.

well he doesn’t do revenge

correction- not now

I mean if it’s droid then maybe he’ll let it pass

but someone recognizable? mhm mhm

yeah he will remember their face forever, until they’re dead, at least.

the next time he meets the one who hurt you the last time, he’ll make sure they’re dead.

like dead. he needs to see them dead in front of his eyes

but when it’s the time you get your treatment he’ll be on your side all of the time until you feel better

but you both don’t make physical contact, to avoid people knowing about your relationship.

“You’re okay, you’re going to be okay, it’s fine, hang on”

he’ll feel bad because he can’t hold your hand to calm you down, but you both want to avoid the risk, so you’re fine with that

it’s just him that feels bad

so when you’re able to get out from the medbay, and in a private time, he’ll hold you and make sure he doesn’t touch your injuries at all to make you feel comfortable.

it’s not you who asked to be cuddled and hold, it’s him that needs reassurement that you’re fine, that you’re now able to be in his arms, honestly he does it without him even realizing, he does that to make himself feel better.

because I’m sure he’s scared inside, it’s just his face and feeling don’t match each other lmao

the next time you go on a mission, he’ll question whether you really need to go to the mission, even though you’re with him.

but when you said yes, he’ll let you go, but told you to inform him before and after you start your mission.

next time something like that happened again, guess he needs to start using the strict way instead, just to keep you safe.

.

.

Luke Skywalker

he’ll panic inside and outside the moment you get injured

“OH SHIT Y/N RETREAT RETREAT”

Honestly he made the situation get worse

Han would scold him later like “DON’T PANIC IN FRONT OF THE ENEMY, IT’LL HELP THEM KILL YOU”

“BUT Y/N GET SHOT”

“IT’S NOT LIKE THERE ARE NO OTHER PEOPLE TO HELP THEM, THERE’S ME, LEIA, AND THEMSELF TO HELP THEMSELF.”

“da kark stop screaming or I’ll shove your mouth with this lightsaber like you sucking di-”

retreat as fast as possible

at one point he’s confused about whether to retreat or fight until the end, blame the pressure around him ngl

okay maybe this one fits for ANH Luke

but I’ll give you the ROTJ Luke that suits Yandere Luke...

I mean he’s still panicking, but he knows what to do

place you somewhere safe, place a kiss on your forehead before he’s back to the battlefield to open a way or maybe... fulfilling his revenge that he doesn’t even realize it’s a revenge

he’s stupid I know

sometimes he’s ignoring the whole karking Jedi code without him even realizing

has I told you guys he’s stupid?

but not really that kind of stupid, I must say.

but he’s a sweet, gentlemen, perfect man so I forgive him.

“Stay here alright? I’ll meet you again soon, in a blink of your eye”

cheesy of him but he kept his words

he fasts af bro

you blink the second time, he already carrying you, holding you tightly, placing another kiss on your forehead the second time to calm you down

honestly he’s calming himself by kissing you

very much like Obi-wan

like padawan like the master.

when you get your treatment, he holds your hand most of the time, making sure to you that you’ll be fine

once again he’s just couraging himself that you will be fine, just to calm himself down.

.

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Din Djarin (my first time writing him I’m sorry)

this man was confused about which one to do first

treat you or vanishing the enemies

sometimes he picks it randomly

okay maybe based on your injuries

but for your information, he’ll make you retreat even though you only got a scratch

because his theory would be like: you get hurt - stay fighting will make you lose focus because of the injury -> get hurt even more -> dies -> he’ll be alone.

well.

what can I say?

just because he seems calm every time on his job or needs to fight doesn’t mean he’s not panicking.

but behind that tin helmet and his face, I’m 100% sure that he’s super panicking like it’s the end of the world

but you’re his world though...

his feelings and face don’t match him like Obi-wan

he doesn’t care anything at the moment but you

so when they’re able to be back, he’ll immediately grab bacta spray and other supplies

told you to rest 

no, don’t even think to get up from where you are

if you need anything just ask him

just don’t. get. up.

“Sleep, you’ll need that for tomorrow”

he’ll hold you in the middle of the night for a moment

he felt grateful you’re still here with him

and the morning, he’ll not wake you up until you wake up by yourself

he also prepares medical supplies in case there might be some other injuries that you don’t even realize yesterday.

he prepares breakfast too

force you to eat them all

he even shares his portion

caring guy <3

will not let you go on a mission or hunting for the next 2-3 weeks.

.

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Fennec Shand (Not as bad as Din ones cause I got a friend with an exact personality like her)

this woman will shoot everyone in her sight and then calm you down

“stay here, I’ll be right back.”

at first she only wants to open a way so you both could retreat, but she just can’t control herself being mad at the enemy, I mean not just the one that hurt you, but every single one of it.

yes, everyone.

no mercy for yandere Fennec 

but sometimes she realizes that she still has you to take care so she’ll end up just opening that way for you

when she helps you walk away from the battlefield, I could feel like she’s shooting one of the dead corpses, just in case

even though they’re truly dead, she still hasn’t satisfied yet. 

if her enemy seeks revenge...

don’t worry, she already prepared herself 

because she seeks revenge as well lmao

this time she has no mercy

yeah she never got any mercy for the enemy before

the difference is she got more brutal and violent

and everyone dead

happy ending

but when she comes back, she’ll be by your side throughout the recovery

sweet Fennec exists for her darling only

yey

#star wars hc #star wars x reader #yandere star wars #star wars writing #star wars fanfic #yandere anakin x reader #anakin skywalker #anakin x reader #obi wan kenobi x reader #obi wan x reader #yandere obi wan kenobi #luke skywalker #luke skywalker x reader #yandere luke skywalker #din djarin x reader #.yandere mandalorian #mando x reader #fennec shand #fennec x reader #yandere fennec

[majaloveschris]

As an anon said in the past, if I were Chris, I would be really concerned about someone apparently from my inner social circle leaking info to blogs about my private matters such as wedding and house. If someone is actually leaking his info, he really should reevaluate his friends and the people he lets into his life (but well, he basically allowed a racist, antisemitic into his life so he clearly isn’t very smart when it comes to that). If the house is his I still don’t feel like he would live there and the decoration doesn’t seem to be his style (or even Alba’s style but she probably doesn’t care about anything as long as she keeps getting attention and we know she molds herself to what benefits her the most). If this house has the name of his trustee, does that automatically make it his? I don’t think Chris is the only client they have. Also, I read some people saying that the Carlisle house was bought by him in 2018 according to Tara’s page? She more than anyone should protect the privacy of her friend but she’s an attention seeker too so I don’t really have much faith in her.

I also don’t know why would Chris want to have pics of his house in a magazine like AD and then hold back because of “keeping his privacy”, he knows very well what would happen if he did that feature for AD so I don’t buy that shit either. L&D lying about the location seems weird to me too, because the damage has already been done since the beginning of this shitshow, why would they try to “protect” anything now? And if they lie that clearly shows how unprofessional they are and that they only care about the attention as well.

Sorry for the long rant but like everything else in this “happy and healthy relationship” seems the opposite and with a lack of sense

For now, this is the last ask I share about the Carlisle house. Some people in my inbox are going crazy over this topic. Not even their alleged wedding caused whatever this is.

We actually talked about this with a good friend of mine yesterday and how having those addresses on that site is really unsafe. I guess it works for her as a portfolio, but still. She could have all the other details but the address. I think she should've already removed it. However, I still have a hard time believing that anybody from his circle comes to Tumblr to share information about his personal matters, such as his wedding, for example. I always say this and will continue to repeat it, that even DM said that his circle is very tight and that she never really has anything on him or gets info. If somebody from his circle wanted to leak something, they wouldn't come to Tumblr. Neither would Justin. If they decided to betray him, they would want to do that on a bigger level. If somebody comes here and shares legit information about him or his personal life, I'd rather say that's his team, or if it's even somebody closer to him, they do it to plant something; they do it for PR reasons. A lot of rumors start here, but if somebody would leak something or do something to harm him, and not to help sell a narrative, they would go somewhere else, not here.

I also don't think that house is really his style, and I also doubt he would want to move into such a big house. The other MA one isn't one he is currently living in.

My very good friends explained to me that all the houses are owned by the same company but by different trusts.

If this whole thing was about "protecting privacy," having an AD article wouldn't have even crossed his mind. So they did the whole photoshoot, the whole interview, or whatever, and then he was like "Nah, I'd rather have my privacy with this one". I don't think that's how it works. And again, saying "privacy" and "Chris" in the same sentence is, at least for now, ridiculous. Since Alba is in the picture, somehow everything involving her has lost the privilege of being private.

Interestingly, this is the first time L&D cared about the mean comments and DMs they got because of Chrisba. This was definitely not the first time I saw them receive hateful comments because of them, and they clearly didn't seem to care about it, and now suddenly they even changed the location because of that. I don't really think that the privacy and hateful comments/DM explanations are working here right now.

And I'd like to ask everybody not to go to L&D's page and leave hateful comments or send hateful DMs. It's inappropriate; it's a bad thing to do. Leave them be.

#majaloveschris #chris carlisle #chris and alba relationship #chris and alba ad article #cevans-love

[catchyhuh]

Hello I am DEVOURING your headcanons. they're so so so fun to read dude, you have no idea. I'd be honored to fuel the beast 👍

As a hypothetical au, if the gang (pops included) were to be in a band together, what roles do you think they would have? Who'd be the front/ on vocals, who would play what instruments, would one of them take the manager role (or maybe which side character would be their manager?), etc etc??

Cheers, and welcome to tumblr!)

SEE THIS IS WHAT I’M TALKIN ABOUT!! I’D NEVER HAVE EVEN CONSIDERED THIS WITHOUT YOUR ASK! THANK YOU SO MUCH! for both the inspiration and the kind words/welcome :)

ok battle of the bands let’s see…

lupin:

known attention whore = MADE for the too self important lead vocalist whose ego eventually breaks up the band. it’s just that by standard lupin miracles nobody has even considered that as an option! but just saying “main character is the frontman” is boring so let’s go further

lupin probably had like piano lessons as a kid per the hyper decadent lifestyle of the family, but he only retained like. don’t stop believin maybe. piano isn't totally his style in a BAND band, like he COULD do keyboard reasonably if he wanted but he thinks it looks silly so he doesn’t because he’s just. like that. it's his band he gets to do whatever

jack of all trades master of none most likely. can play a little on the guitar, bass, bagpipes for all i care, jaw harp, elementary school recorder, etc, but it’s mostly for show. he’d kill on drums but that’s in the BACK and HE can’t be in THE BACK

jigen: 

a second in command comfortable with being second in command? jigen wouldn’t even be on the stage if it was up to him, he’d just play his part like standing on the steps to the platform

guitar, but prefers acoustic. he processes the notes better if they're like, "organic" like that, not to say he CAN'T do electric guitar, and he admits it sounds pretty sick time to time, but he has his preference. he loves the sound of piano, too, but he doesn’t have the fingers for it, and he’d LOVE to do saxophone but learning it is a real task and it’s hard to juggle murder, burglary, and lessons simultaneously. maybe if he ever retires. and if that smoker’s lung capacity doesn’t have anything to say about it

jigen’s gonna be causing beef about the music styles for sure. and lupin’s like “you LOVE rock” and he’s like “but this is specifically is shit. actually take it down a few steps pal let’s just do some billy joel” “WE HAVE AN AMP.”

fujiko:

oh god she has a beautiful singing voice. you know it, i know it, everyone does, and maybe she’ll sing once in a while, but her REAL deal is managing.

oh she LOVES being on that clunky flip phone going “my talent would sooner play a swamp than take pocket change from your dinky little joint” and really none of the others like the setup side of playing live music so really it works out! plus she gets to hit ‘em with the agent royalties. best of both worlds

could probably play damn near any instrument if she really tried, but she doesn’t care too much to make that effort, at least not for this purpose. she likes listening and dancing to music more anyway! it’s probably why she doesn’t sing too much despite her natural gift there. i bet she'd be hands on if they made a music video or something though

goemon:

you know what instrument/position perfectly encapsulates “often overlooked but everything would fall apart without them”? THE BASS. and let’s be honest nothing hits like a sick bass line. auditory equivalent of watching this guy slice the moon in half or some shit

initially i see him not getting why anyone would want to do this? the recording he gets, he’d wanna listen to this again later too, and the live music he understands, because it’s more. personal. frankly cooler. but performing for strangers? but au or not MONEY IS A HELL OF A MOTIVATOR! 

they’re not even that type of band and yet goemon is absolutely the dreamboat pick with all the fans. it’s so funny he himself doesn’t even care (the idea flatters him, but none of these people really know him, ergo the attraction isn’t completely bc of who he is as a person so he’s like hm. whatever) but lupin’s like we’re not a fucking boyband. and if we were a boyband WHY IS IT YOU AND NOT ME? 

could pull sales by himself tbh but he wouldn’t. he loves his friends he’s not bailing for money. no matter how often fujiko suggests i

zenigata:

wait. hold on i gotta look something up i feel like i just remembFUCK

I WAS GONNA SAY DRUMS. I WAS GONNA SAY DRUMS AND I DON’T WANT IT TO LOOK LIKE I'M JUST GOING THE BASIC ROUTE BUT REALLY IT’D BE GOOD FOR HIM TO GET SOME ENERGY OUT ON THOSE THINGS. also its symbolic because the drums are placed furthest away from the other instruments. it’s a music metaphor

okay let’s just forget the blurry t-shirt image. i’m sticking with drums. solid, consistent and neverfuckingending, just like he is. the first and last part of the song, most often. we love symbolism. as for why he’s here and his role in the madness? god knows. maybe he’s just doing it for the free drinks! i wouldn’t blame him! i can’t imagine the mental timeout i’d need touring with these people!

the only one that. not really clashes with fujiko's managing but the only one that has an opinion on the way they go about things. he probably went "what? why the hell would we open with that. what's the matter with you" and took the setlist and the others went. shrug. ok. and then he got on their backs about how they shouldn't be so passive this is a CAREER they're talking about!! HAVE AN OPINION ON THIS

a little addendum: it would be so cute if yata was also trying to manage them. like he’s fujiko’s assistant. man gets stuff DONE i can easily imagine the trade off of “yes i can schedule this. wait what are the hours? ooooh. lemme get you on the line with miss mine” and she just grins knowing she’s about to unload a whole schpeel on this phone guy. good cop bad cop managers. if i knew more about the band scene as a whole i bet i could throw some other thoughts in here but for now we'll just reach the honorary sixth guy :)

#i don't want to accidentally set an unachievable precedent of me pullin these things out the day of an ask but. IM SO EXCITED!!! #SO I SET ABOUT THIS AS SOON AS I SAW THE LITTLE BLUE BOX ON THE ENVELOPE ICON #lupin iii #lupin the third #lupin #jigen #fujiko #goemon #zenigata #and... honorary first tag for... #yata #asks

[the-vibes-are-off]

The Stormlight Archive Volume 1: The Way of Kings’ Review: Chapters 5-8

link to contents page - https://at.tumblr.com/the-vibes-are-off/hey-hey/96xd9ohihrzs

Right, well, you know how I said in my previous post that my COVID test was negative? Yeah so I was swiftly clowned and I am now SICK right on essay season. I have dug out crusty dusty old HP Pavilion to do work but I’m essentially only using it for Tumblr so. My partner is officially in another country now (I know you’re going to read this so pls come back I am dying) so I cant even be babied 24/7 due to the time difference. On season 4 of Criminal Minds already tho so ....

In terms of reading, I am officially back and LOVING it. I am limiting myself to 4 chapters in one setting because that’s how much I want my review sections to cover and writing this takes longer than I thought it would tbh. Lets get to it! 

Spoiler Free Zone:

The split narrative is like definitely managing my problems with maintaining my attention. I will say that since Kaladin’s story line, although definitely interesting don’t get me wrong, would probably get boring if it was all I was reading. I’m more a magic and lore and pretty women fantasy enjoyer than a grr fight fantasy enjoyer since my like gritty lit enjoyment comes from different genres.

Loving the direction that Shallan’s plot line is going in, I’m glad Brandon doesn’t just give the characters what they want straight away and there is at least the illusion that they’re working for something even though its obvious they’ll achieve it eventually.

Mostly, I’m just loving the characters they’re introducing in Shallan’s story, maybe not so much SOME people (a certain person specifically I dislike is beginning, BEGINNING to grow on me) as they’re just so lovely and cute and nice and ugh we love to see it.

*** SPOILERS INCOMING ***

Spoiler Zone:

I’m saying it now, I did initially think Jasnah was just a bitch tbh like I get she’s all important and up her own ass or whatever but she doesn’t appreciate art??? I get Shallan like couldnt just get what she wanted but like .... come on. I was so mad when she just started shouting n shit when Shallan was waiting in the alcove like get a grip pls. However.... turning a boulder to smoke? I had to tab that as cool, like that was just a smart idea to clear it and a cool fckn power to have 

Shallan wanting to steal tho? I love her, a true icon as she should steal from the bitch. I literally just tabbed it love this bc ? Slay like what else could I do. I’d steal it too 

aaaaaaaaand then were back to Kaladin actually just getting fucking shit on at every turn yet again. mf has to carry a bridge?? and then get shot at with arrows?? my goodness give this man a break 

The spren getting a name tho like Syl is acc like carrying Kaladin’s arc for me I want to know what is going on there I am trying so hard not to spoil it for myself

From an arts and humanities student standpoint, I did tab Shallan describing how she views her art and the process of creation as like fleshy and human. Like in both studying and writing poetry I relate to capturing a person or a place or a moment on paper 

And then 2 cuties that I simply had to draw attention to in Brother Kabsal and Yalb. They are iconic and I adore them the end :*

Tab Count:

Cute: 2

Fights: 1

Sad: 1 

Death: 0

Cool: 0 

Wtf wow: 1

Wtf why: 0 

Slay Quotes: 0 

Love this: 2

Hate this: 0

Tab Total:

Cute: 3

Fights: 4

Sad: 1

Death: 2

Cool: 4

Wtf wow: 2

Wtf why: 1

Slay Quotes: 3

Love this: 5

Hate this: 1

PS: If anyone actually reads this far down comment (or post me if you’re feeling generous) your fave tea to drink when you’re sick because I’m going through maybe 10 cups a day and I am swiftly running out....

#brandon sanderson #the way of kings #stormlight archive #kaladin stormblessed #kaladin #shallan #shallan davar #jasnah kholin #book #books #books and reading #book review #fantasy #high fantasy #book tabbing #book annotations #english literature #literature #literature review

[sharpth1ng]

h!iii!! I’m new here and I recently watched SCREAM 1 and damn, I’m obsessed with these two. I also read all of fics about them and your one is my FAVOURITE!!!💔💔💔I would like to ask you, how you headcanon(or just see) Billy and Stu relationship from what we saw on film. Popular opinion that Stu was into Billy and Billy wasn’t (respectfully disagree-Billy was a manipulator but I still see by some of his looks and interactions with Stu that he was at least very hot to Stu and cared on his own weird way), some people say they probably had a weird codependent shit going on, some think they were ready to betray each other’s and nothing more. What you think about “canonical” Billy and Stu??

Omg I wrote such a long response to this an tumblr crashed and deleted it so now I gotta re-write and it’s not gonna be as good I’m sorry. But welcome to the fandom anon! Thank you for the appreciation!

I see movie them as pretty similar to the way I’ve written them tbh, I was trying to stay as close to the characterization in canon as I could.

But I think both of these boys have issues that in some way or another means they get something emotionally satisfying out of the other. Like Billy has mom abandonment issues and clearly has social issues, and there’s Stu, literally always by his side when he can be and down for pretty much anything Billy does. When you’re an abrasive person it’s really comforting to have someone who isn’t pushed away by that.

And Stu clearly didn’t get enough attention growing up, his parents are gone the whole movie and it’s implied they’re just gone a lot in general. I think he’s a little desperate for it, and in combo with falling in love with his best friend a little he’s down for whatever.

It’s also just moments like the kitchen and the video store, Billy only seems to genuinely enjoy himself and let loose in Stu’s presence. It’s the way they bounce off each other’s banter and how physically in-sync they are with each other (until shit starts to go wrong and they’re obviously panicking).

Like when Stu comes up behind him and puts his chin on his shoulder, that’s a visual reference to The Thing With Two Heads but also Billy doesn’t move away, doesn’t seem startled, doesn’t even look back, he actually leans back into Stu, and that tells me this is far from the first time they’ve been that physically close with each other. Maybe it’s just me and my touch issues, but I would have to be so damn comfortable with someone for them to be able to come up behind me and touch me and not flip at least a little.

They know each other really well, they’re able to play off of each other to mess with people, and they’re constantly looking at each other when they’re doing it, because they like doing it together. Also just all the moments where Billy looks at Stu like he’s going to eat him alive lmao (when he’s about to stab him lol, when he like strokes his chin with the knife). He looks horny as hell lmao.

So yeah, this doesn’t feel one-sided to me, I think Billy is just extremely repressed, and I think seeing himself as a manipulator makes him more comfortable. I think he might betray Stu in a moment of anger and emotional defensiveness but I think he would regret it later even if he wouldn’t admit it, but I don’t think Stu would betray him.

Also the writer of the screenplay himself has said he accidentally wrote a bunch of gayness into the film because he was closeted himself at the time so y’know

#ask #movie canon opinions #stuilly

[darkerthanblack-666]

I don’t understand why you have the need to block random people just because they say something you don’t agree with (mainly concerning Jere’s girlfriend)? You’re an adult, maybe you should try acting like one, and not like a toddler who got mad because they took their favorite toy. Jere was never yours and I don’t know why you feel like you’re entitled to him, thus ignoring everything about his girlfriend. He would never date you, you know. No matter how deep you are in your delulu, this is just not mentally healthy. Is your confidence really this low, that you feel threatened by a girl so much that you pretend that she doesn’t exist? So you can have your little fantasies about him? Oh no, he isn’t coming to Poland, how will you get him to date you? :(((. Also your behavior towards people you don’t agree with is really disgusting and unbelievable. You present yourself as just a person who likes to state her mind and not take other people’s shit, but maybe think about how adulthood looks like.

ANON HATE REPLY - if someone wants to avoid reading this bs, this is your trigger warning. I tagged it as "anon hate" so you can blacklist this tag 💖

I should ignore your brainfart, but I'll reply just to pick apart what you're saying instead of internalizing my frustration with people like you, because it's unhealthy for me to bottle feelings up and yes, I care about my own feelings in the first place (because other people usually don't, and if they do, they're my beloved friends whom you'll never be)

"I don’t understand why you have the need to block random people just because they say something you don’t agree with" -> this is exactly why you block people (instead of sending them anon hate for example)

"You’re an adult, maybe you should try acting like one, and not like a toddler who got mad because they took their favorite toy." -> have you ever paid attention to how other adults behave? Have you? I do act like one 🤣. You just don't like me, but you don't have to follow me, don't have to read my posts. Don't have to send me such messages anonymously. I have never done it, never sent someone anon hate in my life. I either block someone or tell them directly what I think. THAT is an adult behavior. Do you know what's immature? Not having courage to reveal who you are and sending someone anon hate. Grow the fuck up, you aren't the center of the universe. What's even the point of sending this? If you DMed me, at least maybe we could find a common ground to settle this beef you have with me (and maybe understand each other's points better). But now? I'm feeling defensive and I've got my right to be, because no one likes to get anon hate (still, I've gotten worse than that, don't worry yourself about it)

"Jere was never yours and I don’t know why you feel like you’re entitled to him" -> wait what? When did I say that? Now you're making a typical assumption every damn person makes in every situation like that. The world isn't black or white, dear angry person. Besides, it's just a tumblr, I'm nowhere near him? Why the fuck are you so possessive over him? He doesn't even know both me and you exist 🤣

"He would never date you, you know." -> Would I date him though? Have you ever asked yourself this question?

"So you can have your little fantasies about him?" -> fantasies about him and other men that don't include dating him which are fictional, what are you on 🤔

"Oh no, he isn’t coming to Poland, how will you get him to date you?" -> have you ever been to a concert? It won't make someone date anyone, now you're being delulu here.

"Also your behavior towards people you don’t agree with is really disgusting and unbelievable." -> what am I supposed to do, cry about it? On the other hand you act very entitled and you come to a person you don't know to make false assumptions about them. Think about your own behavior, maybe? What I post on my own tumblr and don't tag shouldn't concern you.

"You present yourself as just a person who likes to state her mind and not take other people’s shit" -> exactly, and if you have no good points and your only purpose is to shit lava towards me, maybe you're not the person I want to have any discussion with.

"maybe think about how adulthood looks like" -> how, do tell me about it? Because I always get lectured by people who either live lives completely different than mine, or barely entered adulthood and don't know anything about it.

#.asks #anon hate #<- tagging bc I know some of you don't want to read it #and I actually do care about people who care about me 💖 #(this person clearly doesn't)

[teasandcardigans]

the fail of imperium sweetheart

you asked for it, and its here! i got a little carried away with this, but i hope you all enjoy! a full analysis on the imperium’s most dismissed character, sweetheart

please keep in mind this is my own opinion, and i am not expressing hate towards erik. i think the amount of work he does to produce quality content is something that deserves respect and acknowledgement. with that said, i do also feel like i can share my own thoughts on the subject:

edit: tumblr formatted this poorly so if you would like to read it via notion, click here.

Imperium 2021 Runtime (Not including: Welcome to the Imperium, Your Place Among Magic, Welcome Back): 2 hours, 57 minutes, 48 seconds

Cataclysm 2022 Runtime: 5 hours, 21 minutes, 45 seconds

Combined Working Runtime: 8 hours 19 minutes, 33 seconds

(This is the amount of content I scanned to compile my list of quotes and opinions on this piece. I chose these videos specifically because they are the videos that realistically could have featured Sweetheart at any time.)

first mention: Audio RP | Caught By a Cruel Werewolf Pack

[01:14] “You really think that there wasn’t any kind of security at an academy office? Those enforcer goons aren't the only ones keeping shit in line around here. You weren't the only one in that room, you know. My mate’s a stealth. They watched you every step of the way, trailed you, and once you actually pulled those files, they sounded the alarm for all the rest of us. They hung back to see if you were just some kind of distraction for somebody else to do the real dirty work, but apparently, it really was just you.” 

some things to unpack here:

milo’s line implies the level of trust the pack has with sweetheart— they have been with the pack long enough to be trusted to run security in an academy office all alone and be the alarm for the rest of the pack. i think their character speaks for themselves when milo reveals that they hung back to see if there was more than what met the eye- showing that they care about the work they are doing with the pack, too.

another takeaway i have from this is that sweetheart doesn’t work for the department in the imperium. the “why” for that is not really given, but if imperium sweetheart is enough like the redactedverse’s canon version of them, then i think that could easily be implied that sweetheart would be too much of a workaholic to be able to balance working with the pack and the department. i wish that we could know more about sweetheart’s backstory in the imperium. this cannot even fall under the argument of trying to allow for a neutral listener with an open backstory for audiences to collectively connect to, as backstories are given to listener characters such as freelancer, angel, and baby.

[03:50] “That is not how that fucking went down, you clout-chasing peon. My mate was cloaked, guarding the building, and saw this human trying to steal some records and shit and tagged them.”

my takeaway from this quote is that it again illustrates the level of trust the pack has in sweetheart. they are- at least i inferred this- alone, guarding an important building with classified academy documents. asher, with his present no- nonsense attitude, would not put something like that up to chance. to appoint sweetheart to guard that building is a demonstration of wholehearted trust.

note: i’d like to take a moment to draw attention to the fact that the first actual appearance of sweetheart we get is literally the third to last video before the cataclysm finale, despite the fact they played a key role in the original imperium series- that role being sounding the alarm on imperium-babe and connecting them to asher, which inadvertently ties the shaw pack to avior and the haven’s plans to overpower the department. let’s just appreciate that for a second. erik- whether he meant to or not- made sweetheart a key player in this series, and yet, we don’t actually get to see them interacting with anyone until the very, very end. this section is analyzed a bit out of order so that i can avoid redundancy in expressing my opinions. please refer to time stamps!

first interaction: Cataclysm | Tantum Tyrannus [Audio RP]

[00:00 to 06:14] Sweetheart finds Asher unconscious, and Milo gone. Together, they figure out what Milo’s plan is and derive one of their own to save him. 6 minutes, 14 seconds.

all of these together exemplify the level of protectiveness and love that milo and sweetheart have for each other. it’s no secret that the two care very deeply for one another, canon timeline or not, but i think these quotes all show how sweetheart and milo will do anything to keep the other safe. the first quote at 01:15, to me, feels like a defensive retort after sweetheart possibly accuses asher of sending milo to face alexis alone- their protective instincts raise up in an effort to defend milo against anyone who tries to put him in harm’s way. it’s dismissed by asher of course, who explains that he was planning to go, but overall, each of these quotes make me crave a better insight into their relationship.

[01:15] “I wouldn’t let him do that.”

[01:38] “No, you are not coming.”

[04:12] “He wouldn’t want you to be in harm’s way. You know that.”

[02:52] “You know him. Better than any of us.”

this to me speaks to how deeply sweetheart and milo are involved. canon timeline or imperium, i think it’s safe to say that a mate’s bond is the deepest connection one can have with another person (maybe rivaled by a progeny-maker bond), so it’s so strange to me that couples such as vega and pet, vindemiator and freelancer, and avior and starlight get more “screentime” than sweetheart and milo. i know some of those pairs mentioned above are fan favorites, and erik was likely trying to give content that fans would enjoy, but i feel that his oversight on milo and sweetheart’s relationship- one that has existed longer than any other imperium relationship, mind you*- left a lot of blank spots into the true nature of their friendship and relationship that i would have love to have seen. in fact, i believe we know how every imperium relationship came to be except for milo and sweetheart.**

*milo and sweetheart were mates before Audio RP | Caught By a Cruel Werewolf Pack, as seen in milo’s comment about them stalking babe in the office. the aforementioned couples all supposedly got together in the months spanning between october 2021 and october 2022.

[04:46] “I would have given anything to have been at David’s side during that fight. All right. Come on.”

**vindemiator and freelancer: escaping the slicers and arriving at the academy together

vega and pet: pet is a feeding volunteer at the haven

starlight and avior: work companions growing into more

damien and angel: childhood friends turned lovers

asher and david: packmates turned lovers

you will see soon, i have a lot to say about david and asher. but i think that since their relationship is in the spotlight of cataclysm so much, this comment stands out to me. it gives sweetheart and milo’s relationship the same weight as david and asher’s- a weight that erik has been trying to demonstrate throughout this entire second trip to the imperium. it’s implied to me with this line that sweetheart draws a direct comparison from david to milo and asher acknowledges it, which begs the question: why is a non- existent relationship (rip david we love you) receiving more attention and screen time than one that exists and appears to have equal value?

[06:04] “We have to make the first hit count. Or we won’t get a second one.” 

i have to laugh at this one. it’s somewhat silly to me considering the fact that this line makes the fight scene feels so much bigger than what it actually turns out to be. that’s all.

second appearance: Cataclysm | Tantum Tyrannus [Audio RP]

[10:02 - 15:37] Asher and Sweetheart arrive at Alexis’s estate to save Milo. 5 minutes, 39 seconds.

i elected not to pull any quotes from this section purely for the fact that sweetheart’s interactions are truly limited. this scene mostly focuses on a facedown between asher and alexis, where sweetheart- and even milo, really (despite him being the reason they are there)- feel very much like background characters. this is about asher, getting revenge, for david. and yes, maybe a little bit to help save the world, but mostly, cataclysm is an asher-focused storyline. the most we get from sweetheart in this scene is asher talking to them in the beginning, and at the end. oh, yeah, they also helped stun and debilitate alexis so that asher could take her down. no biggie, right?

another spot for consideration: Cataclysm | Last Wish [Audio RP] 

Asher and Milo discuss the confrontation with Alexis as Milo heals.

personally, i find this choice to make sweetheart conveniently in another room making food as another way to eventually lead the conversation back to david and asher’s guilt. it is obvious that asher is trying to be the cold, hard, gruff alpha that he thinks he needs to be in order to prove his worth to the shaw pack as their leader. i don’t think in this side of the mirror asher would be too keen on being vulnerable and emotional around sweetheart about david, so erik removed sweetheart from the scene so we can, once again, focus on asher and david. (insert dramatic sigh here).

[01:48] “I figured your mate would be here.”

“They’re making some food, they should be back soon. I had to kick them out to keep them from fussing off of me and from reading me the absolute riot act doing this without telling them.”

[02:39] “They did good. I don't think I could have done that without them.”

i find this comment to be extremely ironic, as seen with my thoughts on the fight scene itself. asher commends sweetheart here and says how vital they were to the plan, but in reality, they felt like a minor character. they had one scene where they could have shown their strength and flex their skills- as we know they can (i.e. canon-timeline shade fight, canon-timeline apartment “break-ins,” and imperium-verse security detail in their first mention) and yet, their involvement in that scene feels small and overlooked.

third appearance: Cataclysm | Last Wish [Audio RP]

[15:41 - 16:14] Literally, Sweetheart comes, Asher goes. 33 seconds.

there’s not even anything to really analyze here. as soon as the focus pulls away from asher talking about himself and/or david, the scene ends. this is sweetheart and milo’s last appearance.

my overall thoughts:

of the 8 hours, 19 minutes, and 33 seconds that the imperium and cataclysm stories ran, sweetheart appeared in 12 minutes and 26 seconds of them (for those of you who like math, it’s 2.5% out of the full running time). for the importance of sweetheart’s role, that being the whistleblower on babe (and the ripple effect it had) and one of the key players in taking down alexis, i find their lack of appearance and mention disappointing. we all know how strong sweetheart is in both sides of the mirror, and i feel that they had much more potential as a character. from their relationship with milo, to their unexplained involvement with the Shaw Pack, there are a lot of gaps within their story that deserve recognition. even minor characters, such a baby and alexis, have more backstory and character development than sweetheart. i could go down a rabbit trail of how this could also be seen in inversion, but that is for a later date. in this analysis, i want to draw attention to the fact that so much time was dedicated to a relationship that we never even see, and another that sprung up over the break between “seasons.” asher and vega’s storylines are interesting and a far cry from their canon versions, but their importance feels dominating, and in the case of asher and david’s, exhausting. i’m not saying that even sweetheart and milo’s relationship deserved the spotlight, but i believe it would have been a more fulfilling, complex story if we had been able to see the moments with the two of them the way we get to see vega’s and vindemiator’s (the same goes for giving more explanation and attention to damien and angel’s, too). i’ll cut the novel short and end things with the hope that you, my lovely reader, can see how sweetheart’s potential as a character was diminished and pushed to the background when it could have been a unique and interesting piece to the imperium’s overall story.

#redacted asmr #redacted sweetheart #redacted milo #imperium sweetheart #imperium #redacted echotober #teasandwrites

[itsgivingautism]

01/18/24 — Zia rants about being autistic & physically disabled & chronically ill in a fucked ableist society & having to be dependent on their partner

Started to have meltdown over this & other stuff to my partner before he left for work…. I didn’t meant to have a morning meltdown. I found myself shutting down and feeling guilty before he left bc I can recognize it’s hard on him even when he doesn’t wanna show it. But needed a place to rant and ended up going off down below for a like an hour. I don’t want to open up but I made tumblr after not being on here since high school for an outlet for a lot of reasons, with support & encouragement from therapists to do so. But I also hate being perceived. I’m just so fucking annoying tho I somehow always bring attention to myself that I never want….. but I’m also learning to tell my story & share my experiences. As an autistic person late diagnosed who was severely abused throughout my entire childhood opening up, learning to unmask & not shutdown, understanding my own thoughts, feelings, & experiences is so fucking hard.

I am so grateful for my partner but god I wish I was independent. I wish I had the ability to take care of myself. I wish I wasn’t so fucking dependent on his love and support. I wish I wasn’t so needy, or clingy. I wish I wasn’t disabled physically and mentally. I wish I wasn’t so wounded & traumatized. I wish I wasn’t so chronically ill. I wish I wasn’t in autistic burnout, a state of prolonged cognitive decline that one average can last 2-10 years.

I wish I could get a job. Even working from home but my mind can’t even. I’m constantly age regressing and going across different timelines of my mind and getting trapped, constantly disconnecting from this current physical reality even when I seem like a part of it to others - but it’s just automatic masking as a trauma response. All a result of my CPTSD+autism+adhd

I haven’t been able to work a real job since 2020. I’ve been fighting to get the support & benefits I need but constantly being shit on. Having to go thru constant channels to prove how severe my issues are and then being told try this treatment first and when it doesn’t work its still somehow my fault. I’m sick of having to prove my disabilities & illnesses and then when I show how bad they are I’m being dramatic. But when I mask & show strength, I must be making it up. How could you be so strong about then? There’s no winning. Only losing. I don’t see a point in showing weakness or asking for help. But then refusing to and bottling it all up, that has lead me to deeply problematic bad spirals. I just want to be taken seriously by doctors & medical professionals. I hate this country.

I wish I was normal. I hate burdening my partner. Although I know he doesn’t want me to feel like one and he genuinely wants to help me, I also know I stress him out….

I am dependent on him financially while his job is fucking over their contracts, refusing to give him & his coworkers the raises they were supposed to get a year ago. Him and his coworkers have collectively trying to unionize for months (which is the only reason they actually didn’t get a pay cut which the company was tryna do even tho they were supposed to give raises last year) and ofc my partner has been the one leading the unionizing. (We joke about my radicalism really rubbing off on him)

I’m constantly trying to find ways to make money, which end up doing more damage to my body. He hate what it does to me. He wishes he could do more while stuck in his work contract. it’s a lot on him. And I feel like his life would be so much less stressful without me tho….. or at least if I could just be normal & healthy….

Even my friends point out that unless I’m talking about my emotions & trauma I don’t make any sense talking…. like burnout really shows…. It’s embarrassing constantly. I sound like a so clearly disabled most of the time. I used to exceptionally smart & articulate before this burnout. Ik they mean it accepting my but it’s hard when 90% of what I say comes out wrong. It’s hard when I’m trying to be supportive and it sounds like asshole shit bc my issues with speech & cognition. I want to be a lovely validating friend. Not the one they have to dissect my word vomit to find the love & support in foolish clumsily words. I’m technically hyperlexic so I can keep creating words but my other learning disabilities downgrade the quality & meaning of those words.

But I also only make sense when talking about my looping emotions & trauma is bc I only share what I can (the deeper stuff is vaulted by selective mutism & shutdowns). This is the shit going thru my brain, talking to myself about and looping constantly. Ofc it’s the only thing I can talk about. But even most the time I’m still not making sense entirely. But it’s all I can think about, talk to myself about, and it’s all the my brain is giving me permission to share about myself.

#disability rant #autistic rant #actually autistic #actually disabled #actually chronically ill #autistic adult #autistic blogger #disabled blogger #autistic experiences #disabled #chronically ill #actually cptsd #Zias diary 🌿 #Zia 🌿 #chronic illness

[the-slasher-madame]

May I request the Sinclair brothers with a mutual friend who has autism and asks a lot of questions. It’s their way of connecting with the boys and getting to know them better.

Wait is this like a strictly neurodivergent thing?? Cause I tried to get diagnosed with ADHD and/or Autism (the psychologist said I didn’t...I disagree) and I do this all the time. It’s just nice showing people you care ya know? That you find them interesting and like to know about them.

ALSO FUCK MEEEEEE I WROTE HALF THIS AND IT GOT DELETED this is why people suggest writing on google docs or something before transferring it to tumblr-

Anyways enjoy <333

Vincent Sinclair: I don’t think he would mind per say, but I don’t think he understands it at first. And if he’s having a bad day, he’d be a little stiff with you (especially at first). He doesn’t talk much, and he’s a good listener, so he doesn’t mind most days. And he likes the background noise. When you explain that it’s a form of affection/a way to get to know him better, he melts. Thinks it’s adorable, and feels pretty  honored (cause I know I try to be more like myself and not hide anything around the people I care about, AND I do this to show people I care about what they like. They listen to my bullshit, the least I can do is listen to them). Starts to mimic you and ask you questions back to show he cares about you, too. He loves hearing about what you like, and you love hearing about his interests too. One of my English teachers said that it’s about “loving that they love what they love” or along those lines. Y’all will absolutely use the information y’all gather against the other. You and Vincent get into “wars” where you try to spoil the other more. These usually end with Bo stepping in and telling y’all to “quite that sappy shit, it’s makin me sick.” This warning does not stop y’all for long. 

Bo Sinclair: He tries to be patient, he really tries. But we all know what he’s like, and before long he gets annoyed. He feels like your interrogating him, like your trying to find something wrong with what he’s doing or that you know better than him, particularly when he’s doing his mechanics thing (I think the feelings of interrogation and not doing something right trace back to his parents). He snaps at you to shut up and leave him alone, so you go back to the house (and personally I’d feel really bad even if I did nothing wrong because I have a lot to unpack mentally but anyways moving on). Personally, after he’s come home and calmed down I’d explain why I ask so many questions and all, and then he feels really bad. He’s just like “shit shit SHIT” and feels so so guilty. I’ve seen these headcanons around, that like he treats you really well and is really soft for you, and I think that comes through when you explain you weren’t trying to annoy him, just connect with him. He’ll spoil you to make it up to you, and then he always answers questions and just really tries to be nice. He’ll also be nicer if he’s getting annoyed and just needs a few moments of quiet. I don’t think he’d ask as many questions back as Vincent does, but he appreciates that you care enough to want to know more about him. While he doesn’t ask as many questions, I think he’s observant (and I think he’d look through your diary/journal sometimes, I hate to say it but we all know what he’s like). Overall, he indulges you and gets those goofy butterflies when he thinks about how it’s a sign that you really care about him

Lester Sinclair: He’s gonna understand the most, cause goddamn it look at him and tell me he’s neurotypical. You Can’t. He does this too, probably doesn’t realize it could be considered a weird thing or possibly annoying. He feels so so loved when you ask him questions about the stuff he likes (especially thinking about how I think the abuse his parents threw at him was mostly neglect and lack of attention, so shower him in it). I feel like y’all go back and forth like birds, chattering and talking for hours on end. He loves when you ride with him when he goes places and y’all keep talking. Y’all talk about everything and anything, y’all cover every topic under the sun and the moon. When y’all are with the twins, Bo gets so annoyed lol. He’s all like “can y’all shut the fuck up fer 2 seconds, shit, how y’all breath?” Vincent will try to listen for a while, but eventually he tune y’all out cause the two of you talk so fast and so much. Another Sinclair who uses these conversations against you and will spoil the hell out of you. If he finds something he thinks you would like, it’s gonna be yours. You can’t stop him, you just can’t. It’s a like a force of nature. Lester is just big golden retriever himbo energy and it shows with how he brings you stuff (you do the same, of course, but he is determined to one-up you). Best, most understanding boy

Ahh I hope you like it!! This was fun (even if it deleted itself halfway through lol). I love the Sinclairs so much, they have every piece of my heart. Thank you for being so patient <3333333 

#slashers #slasher fucker #slasher x reader #slasher fluff #slasher community #bo sinclair #bo sinclair fluff #bo sinclair x reader #vincent sinclair #vincent sinclair fluff #vincent sinclair x reader #lester sinclair #lester sinclair fluff #lester sinclair x reader

[yardsards]

being trans makes you lgbt. But being aspec doesn’t. If you were cis, straight, and not dating someone who’s trans or otherwise lgbt, you wouldn’t be part of lgbt. It’s more of a descriptor like calling yourself a girl or a boy, not that you would. Being ace and trans or ace and bi or ace and gay would keep you in lgbt. But being just ace or aro isn’t quite as qualifying as a lot of aspec think it is. Unfortunately We’ve seen a lot of aspec people say things against trans and gay from perspective that cannot truly give them say. Unfortunately we’ve seen aspec admit to believing in “drop the t” while screaming acecourse and wanting to stop feeling oppression. A lot of the problems with acecourse are that aspec still receive worlds more respect and validity from outside communities because from those outside perspectives at least they aren’t gay or trans degenerates and perverts. We believe this is the true reason acecourse garnered a cringe history, because it was playing with the fact that straight people were identifying themselves as ace to put themselves within the community because it was in fact trendy and all of a sudden they could reap the benefits of attention coming with being seen as valid by a large part of the tumblr community, while also spreading hate and opression and preaching drop the t or claiming transmed arguments against a community that actually deserves support. Read or don’t it’s all good, but have a nice day regardless

i'm probably wasting my time replying to this but i'm gonna go over some of your points in case you're actually willing to learn. i may come across as angry at times, but i am just so tired of this kind of thing and i struggle to express myself with complete calmness and patience in regard to this kind of thing:

"being trans makes you lgbt. But being aspec doesn’t."

you don't get to tell me which parts of my identity are queer and which ones aren't. i have the lived experience of being trans. i have the lived experience of being aroace. using that knowledge and those experiences, i can wholeheartedly tell you that they are equally queer identities. i identified as aroace before i identified as trans, and i was just as queer in that period as i was after i realized i was also trans.

"If you were cis, straight, and not dating someone who’s trans or otherwise lgbt, you wouldn’t be part of lgbt."

okay this is gonna veer off topic from the ace thing but I just gotta say: WHAT??? you think dating a trans person makes you part of the lgbt community??? if a completely straight man dated a trans woman, that would not inherently make him lgbt: to say otherwise is to imply that his girlfriend is not a real woman and that is, y'know, pretty transphobic. jesus christ.

"But being just ace or aro isn’t quite as qualifying as a lot of aspec think it is."

who are you to come up to me and say you know our experiences better than we do??? who made you the expert on what it's like to live as an aspec person???

it's very ironic that you are talking about what you think our experiences are without actually having the perspective of what it's like to be us, immediately before claiming that we do that to the rest of the queer community.

"Unfortunately We’ve seen a lot of aspec people say things against trans and gay from perspective that cannot truly give them say."

this is not unique to aspecs; unless you are somehow every single lgbtq+ identity all at once, there are gonna be some experiences you don't understand and can't speak on. like, cis gays say shit about trans people despite not knowing what it's like to be trans all the fucking time. and some of them are, in fact, extremely fucking transphobic! you would (hopefully!!!) not say that all lesbians should be kicked out of the queer community just because some individual lesbians are terfs; after all, why should an entire orientation be kicked out the community just because a few assholes happen to also use that label?

"Unfortunately we’ve seen aspec admit to believing in “drop the t” while screaming acecourse and wanting to stop feeling oppression."

again, a few shitty individuals does not mean an entire orientation is bad. and honestly i saw A LOT less transphobia from the ace and aro community than i did from cis gay men and lesbians. and many of those shitty "ace people" were very obvious troll blogs but yinz were too blinded by your search for reasons to hate us that you missed it. this is not to say there weren't ANY shitty ace people, because every label with more than a few dozen people using it is gonna have some horrible people, but this problem was not uniquely bad in the aspec community.

"preaching drop the t or claiming transmed arguments against a community that actually deserves support."

(lumping this one in with the previous two) again, in my anecdotal experience, the aspec community actually tended to be more accepting about that kind of shit than a lot of the general lgbt community was. a lot of cis gay people were transphobic and a lot of binary trans people were transmeds/hated nonbinaries (and again! this does not mean that gay ppl and binary trans people are bad! a few assholes does not make an identity bad!). asexuals, aromantics, nonbinaries, (and sometimes bi/pan/etc. people) were often all lumped together as cringy trendy tumblr identities and spat on by the rest of the community. i, in my anecdotal experience, saw very few ace inclusionists (let alone actual asexuals) be shitty about nonbinary people. almost all of the transmedicalists i have come across have also been exclusionsists.

"A lot of the problems with acecourse are that aspec still receive worlds more respect and validity from outside communities because from those outside perspectives at least they aren’t gay or trans degenerates and perverts."

show me where the fuck that respect and validity is. cuz i sure as hell haven't received it. i've been told i was going to hell for "ignoring gods plan" because i didn't plan to get straight married and produce children (and this was before i realized i was trans!). i tend to hide my sexuality from bigots just like i hide my gender, but sometimes i bare myself to the wrong people and i get backlash for BOTH of those things, treated like i'm broken or a freak or degenerate. and you might say "but doesn't the bible encourage celibacy?" but the thing is, most bigots don't actually care about what their holy text says and really just use it as an excuse to persecute minorities that they already find repulsive.

"because it was playing with the fact that straight people were identifying themselves as ace to put themselves within the community because it was in fact trendy and all of a sudden they could reap the benefits of attention coming with being seen as valid by a large part of the tumblr community, while also spreading hate and opression"

straight people can also just straightup lie. like, a cishet girl could log on here and pretend to be a bisexual trans woman and no one could prove that wrong. it's the internet. lying like that to spread hate would actually be A LOT easier than claiming to be an identity that was already facing scrutiny. like, asexuality is not the only orientation a cishet person could call themself online.

not to mention how similar a lot of your sentence sounds to the shit people have said about nonbinaries. i lived through the "nonbinaries are just cis girls lying for attention" era on here. this is a recycled argument.

-----

read this and take it to heart. then read some of the notes of that post and listen to the aspecs there talk about the bigotry they have faced, both offline and online, from lgbt+ people and from cishets. don't act like you know our experiences better than we do.

#eliot posts #aphobia #acephobia #asexual #aroace #trans #nonbinary #transphobia mention

[marshmallowsqoosh]

[Ghost (Band) | Creation]

Fandom: Ghost (Band) Title (AO3 link): Creation Rating: Light teen CW: no major warnings apply Lesser Warnings: Light violence, fictional science, magick science, Ghouls are Generational not Inherited, author uses Sodo instead of Dew, author uses Stratus instead of Sunshine, Phantom and Aurora used, Summary: Normally it’s Swiss and Stratus that do diplomatic jobs. Aether’s confused... and maybe a little worried about how Sodo’s going to handle meeting new Ghouls on such short notice. ♠ Some small Aether/Sodo towards the end ♥

Extras: Status: complete! Word Count: 5546 A/N: The new Ghoul/Ghoulette are adorable af and I love them, but I'm also a ho that must immediately finangle it into existing lore, even if it's my own lmao.

Inspiration kinda taken from this hexin cute art by @dipendancesld  (link goes to artist's tumblr!), in that I hadn't considered Phantom being Aether's "brother" until that very moment and then things went twenty ways from Tuesday but also I just want to bring attention to Phantom being cute off stage, while radiating pure Sodo Chaos Energy on stage. (kinda like Sodo himself is super polite/awkward off stage lol)

Might do more with this after I finish Era Three/Pro Memoria? I have a lot of headcanon about Ghoul summoning metas whoops.Anyways, as usual, not beta read so if you spot typos/weird spots, lemme know ♥

♠

The Ghouls are working through pre-tour jitters—all gathered in the commons area, talking over each other in an attempt to talk to each other—when Copia leans into the room, rapping against the door frame to get their attention without needing to raise his voice. It doesn't work; but, it does get Mountain's attention and he gestures for the human to cover his ears before he gives a sharp whistle that makes the rest of the band hiss and recoil from him.

He just smiles and gestures towards Copia.

"Wonderful, Mountain, thank you. I only needed Aether and Stratus' attention." The man laughs and gestures, "Sister wanted to speak with you. I believe she mentioned the summoning chamber. Be quick about it."

Aether blinks, slowly, and turns a confused look back on the Ghoulette. The confusion turns exasperated for a moment, when he finds her sitting on Sodo and Rain, "Stratus…"

"What? I didn't do anything! … This ti—oh, you meant these two." She jumps up and laughs, dusting her pants down as she does. "C'mon, let's go see what's what before all the snacks are gone!"

He sees Cirrus slap Rain and Sodo, both, on their hands when they make to try hoarding the snacks in question and gives her a passing look of gratitude before he's quickly following at Stratus' heel.

In passing, he sees Swiss looking more confused than anyone else in the room; but, maybe he imagined it. He waits until they're a few doors away—hopefully out of everyone's hearing range—to finally speak up, "Even if you didn't do anything… don't suppose you know what this is about?"

"Mmm… might have an idea…? But normally they call me with Swiss." She pulls on one of her longer curls and twists it around a claw. "We go on jobs for other branches, sometimes. Branches that don't… y'know, quite have a grasp on rituals and stuff? Or need help introducing new congregation members to Ghouls! And… other stuff!"

"Oh… so… what Bell and Special did?" He doesn't bother inquiring what other stuff could be. He's got… a pretty good idea of it. But, Stratus just stares at him for a stretch of silence. It's not until they get to the elevator that he actually remembers she wouldn't know them. "Oh—they're… it's… it's not important. But… diplomatic shit, basically?"

"More or less! … Still weird they're sending you, though, if it's that… I mean… you and Swiss are basically the same, right? Just… you're better at the… shadow… thingy?"

He knows not to be offended, at least, by the question. They're still not really sure what Multis embody and Swiss being part Quintessence just makes it a bigger mess to figure out. He just shrugs as the elevator lets them out and rolls his shoulders a few times to try working the nervous tension out.

"More or less... I know Om… the… Quintessence before me, from Era Three, he could shadow walk pretty far… I wonder if they think I can do the same…?" Not that he's… tried. But it would maybe explain some of the expectations. "Would save on travel expenses, I suppose… but Swiss should be able to get to all the immediate branches…"

Stratus shrugs; but, she doesn't bother elaborating any when he pulls the pulls the summoning chamber doors open. Imperator regards them for barely half a second and things are just… a lot more confusing than they were a second ago. Aether stares. He feels Stratus shrinking next to him and trying to edge closer; he steps in front of her, instinctively, even when he… doesn't quite feel threatened.

Two Ghouls peek around the woman. Two he doesn't recognise and… honestly, the most alarming part is that he doesn't feel any sort of presence from them. That makes him nervous, but he doesn't feel… threatened, at least.

"Marvelous timing, both of you. I just finished debriefing your new understudies."

"Our new… beg pardon?" Aether's ears twitch as he tilts his head, trying to look at the pair again. The Ghoul looks… about Sodo's size. Bright purple eyes stare back at him, unblinking, even as he clearly struggles not to start squirming. The Ghoulette next to him gives a polite tip of her head, white eyes shining just as brightly, though most of her attention is on trying to see Stratus from around Aether's arm.

"Ghouls, introductions, if you would."

"I'm Phantom." The Ghoul gestures to the other, "And this is Aurora."

"We're delighted to meet you both."

It's hard to focus with Stratus feeling threatened right behind him. Aether forces himself to ignore it, offering her the comfort of his tail coiled with hers to try calming her down a little. "The tour is just over a month away, Sister… this seems—for lack of a better word—inadvisable? Why do we need understudies on such short notice—why us?"

"Those details are need to know and, at the moment, the only thing you need to know is that you will be taking care of them until the next string of Rituals begin. Or before, depending on how things play out." Imperator doesn't bother elaborating any further, true to her point. Just offers a smile that does make Aether feel threatened for a brief moment. "Consider them… your younger siblings. That seems the most appropriate analogy here."

"Siblings—? Ghouls… don't… generally have… siblings?" Stratus finally comes out from behind Aether, brows still furrowed and her lips pursed as she tries to wrap her head around the entire thing. "It's… lovely to meet both of you, but…? I'm with Aether, this is such short notice—"

"Then you should be getting to work. Run along now, they have quite a bit to learn, don't they?"

Aether quickly unwinds his tail from Stratus' and the two hastily get out of the woman's way as she exits the room—brisk paced, not another word on where either new Ghoul came from or… whatever else they were supposed to be summoned for. He turns a slow look on Stratus, "I'm going to guess this isn't normally why you're called away?"

She shakes her head, slowly edging forward until she's close enough to reach out and tap the other Ghoulette on the shoulder. Aurora simply blinks at her, "Is… this a greeting among your batch…?"

"Uh… batch? You mean… group…? Of… friends? I mean—it's—no, it's not, I just… you two… weren't… summoned?"

"Stratus!" Aether hisses at her, "Manners!"

Even so, he feels it, too. There is no residual magick in the chamber. There's nothing warm left, saying a patron was here at some point, to deliver new Ghouls. Moreover… the fact there's a Quintessence Ghoul standing in front of him is… unsettling, at best. Summoners couldn't—to his knowledge—summon more than one. He and Swiss were… exceptions, perhaps, but were also summoned together. Along with Sodo.

Regardless, Copia didn't summon Phantom and he's starting to wager he didn't summon Aurora, either. He wonders if the man's even aware of the substitutions.

"Summoned?" Phantom blinks at her and Aether, in turn, spares him a confused look. "We were… brought here to see you, yes? Is that not a summons?"

"I think she means, who summoned you to… the Ministry? Are you from a different branch?"

"Oh! You mean the creators, then?"

Aether doesn't want to know anymore. Judging by the fact Stratus keeps her mouth shut, he's certain she's ready to move on, too. He shakes his head and just offers a smile as he moves around the pair to put a hand on each of their shoulders. "We'll talk about that later. Right now, we should… get the hard part out of the way so we can start teaching, yeah?"

The pair exchange confused looks and Stratus snaps out of her own uncertainties in favour of chewing on her lip, "Uh… should you do that alone, maybe…? Like… give'm a heads up or… y'know, just… not near the rest of us? Or… anything super flammable like furniture or carpets or plants or—"

"Thank you, Stratus… you've made your point. But, I am also really hoping he'll be a little more amicable if he's around the others. So let's not give these two the wrong idea and just introduce them? It'll be fine."

If either of them are put off, it doesn't show. Aurora happily takes Stratus' hand in her own so she can be lead—Aether finally notices she doesn't appear to be able to retract her claws and, at a glance, neither can Phantom; not as long, but still sharp. Hopefully features that will either glamour with their masks or simply look like nails to Ritual attendees.

Stratus relaxes, gradually, as they get closer to the commons. She actually strikes up conversation with Aurora and Aether keeps a cautious eye on Phantom. He doesn't make conversation; but, he's clearly observing everything—even stopping at some intervals to look down a hallway and Aether just barely manages not to run into his back, when he does. He always offers a sheepish smile and quickly catches up to Aurora and Stratus.

They don't need to make an announcement when they get back to the commons. Swiss standing gets everyone's attention and the room goes dead silent in a second. Stratus offers a nervous laugh as she moves to the front—the two newer Ghouls immediately huddle up behind her—and puts her hands up to try showing things are okay.

It's… a little odd, perhaps, when they hadn't felt the need to cower from Imperator or either of them, but… this is a lot of people.

"Heyyy, guys—so! Uh… guess what!"

Aurora pushes her way under Phantom's arm so she can peek around Stratus, attention fixed intently on the rest of the Ghouls. "These are your friends, sister?"

"They are! Guys, this is Aurora!" Stratus pulls her around—Phantom hastily backs up so he's behind Aether instead and avoids getting presented—and hugs around her shoulders to show things are okay. "She's super cute, huh? So you guys be nice to her!"

"Okay, I'm very offended you're looking at me when you say that." Swiss huffs; but, it does seem to help dispense some of the tension, even as he tilts his head towards Aether. "And this is…?"

Aether reaches back, turning enough he can offer a reassuring smile while still keeping Phantom shielded, "It's okay, I promise. C'mon around, yeah?"

He lets the smaller Ghoul shuffle out from behind him, lets him wave at the group, and just puts both hands on the narrow shoulders, "This is… my little brother. Phantom. Try to be nice to him—wait." Aether stands up a bit straighter and he feels Phantom tensing up when he does. A quick headcount and he just barely resists the urge to groan, "Oh for Lucifer's—Sodo, don't you dare—!"

He probably should have accounted for the fact Sodo wasn't sitting with Rain—somewhere he could be contained if he reacted poorly—and doesn't realise he's across the room from everyone until his horns and tail have caught fire.

Panic. Anxiety. Fear. Aether doesn't get a chance to try calming him down before he gets spooked further by Swiss trying to get close to calm him down—or at least put the fires out—and Aether pulls Phantom out of the way when the fire bursts outward. The sprinkler system will kick in, if he does hit anything, and Rain is right there—

But, that isn't what happens.

Phantom squeaks when he's pulled out of the way and recoils back into Aether when the fire gets too close and then it's just… gone. Swiss manages to get a hold on Sodo so Rain can extinguish him—verified by the anguished screech from the Fire Ghoul and Rain and Swiss both trying to calm him down—but Aether just looks down at Phantom.

"Did… did you do that?"

"Uh… maybe—?" He squeaks again and wrenches himself out of Aether's grip to hide behind Stratus instead when Sodo finally kicks back and gets Swiss in the knee so he gets dropped. But, he just runs out the opposite side of the commons, specifically avoiding the new Ghouls. Swiss is biting out a magnificent spiel of curses that all slur together—lost in Ghoulish and English, with a few Italian swears thrown in—even as he carefully rights himself and lets Rain check his knee to ensure his void is fixing itself.

"Sodo! Sorry, Swiss—sorry, keep Phantom here, I'll get him—uh… Phantom, Swiss; Swiss, Phantom—Swiss can introduce you to everyone." He gestures between them, quickly, putting both hands on Phantom's shoulders again to try calming him down. He curses, quietly, to himself when he remembers he… isn't Copia's but… oddly enough, it does seem to be working. Phantom's breathing levels out and he starts to relax. Just a little, but enough to help Aether take a breath and slow down, too. "You're okay. Just… stay with Swiss and the others, okay? I'll deal with Sodo, he's just… he's really bad with meeting new people. This isn't your fault, alright? Either of you."

"Aeth, maybe you should let him blow off steam first? He nearly combusted." Rain points out, "Or at least take me with you—?"

"The fewer of us, the better, Rainy. I can handle him. … Thank you, though. Stratus, you can fill them in?"

She gives a lazy, two fingered salute, even as she's trying to assure Aurora things are okay. Swiss catches his shoulder before he can get by, voice down to keep from attracting any more attention. "Aether… this isn't a good thing…"

"It'll be fine. We will all be fine. Do not make this harder for him, Swiss." The warning comes out as more of a growl than he means for it to. Swiss looks surprised, briefly; but, it fades just as quickly and he sighs, shaking off and ruffling a hand back through his hair.

"Hope you're right... hope you get that through to Sodo…"

Aether keeps a small scowl on his back until he finally makes it over to Stratus and Phantom, introducing himself easily. Phantom shuffles a little bit closer to Stratus; but, he doesn't try to hide, at least. Aether lets his attention go back to Sodo.

It's easy enough to track him—the anxiety hasn't ebbed any and there's a few scorch marks in the carpet that they're definitely going to get in trouble for later. But, it doesn't take him long to find the other Ghoul, huddled up in the garden on the ground floor, squeezed into one of the statue alcoves and tucked in on himself as tight as he can get.

It's finally recovering from the destruction left from Alpha's death five years ago. Most everything's still dead but… there's a few patches that are trying to regrow, at least, and the horrible smell of sulphur is finally aired out completely. He's… not surprised this is where Sodo went; but, he's still careful as crosses the garden, kneeling down a safe distance away. Far enough Sodo's tail can't reach him, but close enough he doesn't have to speak too loud. Close enough that if Sodo decides violence is the answer… he's going to get knocked over and he's not in a great position to defend himself from the claws and fangs if it happens.

"Sodo… c'mon, they're both harmless." He tries not to tense when Sodo looks up, over the way his arms are curled tight around his knees, eyes glowing a violent orange against his void and the tips of his hair starting to go soot black as the fire spreads through him and starts showing up as veins. "Talk to me, firefly. I know you don't like new people, but that was a bit much, even for you—"

"New people aren't replacements!" Sodo snaps at him, tail lashing out, angrily. It only hits the statue of Lucifer he's hiding behind; but it still leaves a scorch mark in its wake and he simply curls in tighter on himself, breathing harder as he reaches up to grip both horns. The right one starts to heat up his grip; the left one starts to bleed lava from the broken off tip.

Aether quickly loses interest in his own safety and closes the distance to grab Sodo's wrists, trying to pry his grip loose without hurting him worse, "Sodo—Sodo, stop—it's okay… everything's okay, I promise."

It's still an effort to get him to let go; but, he at least tries to pull his powers back under control so he doesn't burn Aether. His tail puts itself out and there's soon simply smoke emitting from both horns and his hands. His entire body heaves with the efforts to calm down.

"Why are you okay with this!?"

Aether blinks, slowly releasing his wrists so he can work on pulling Sodo out of the alcove. It takes… a little more effort than he's expecting—he's impressed by how well Sodo managed to squeeze himself into the space—but he soon has the Fire Ghoul in his lap, running a reassuring claw through his hair, while the other hand runs up and down his back, tracing gentle patterns with his claws to help him relax faster.

"Okay with what?"

"Okay with—with what? With being replaced!"

"I'm not being replaced. Not permanently." Aether doesn't react to the fluctuating temperatures—the bursts of Sodo being too warm and suddenly too cold—just does his best to stay calm so Sodo will… hopefully calm down on his own. "It's only for a little bit… which means I need you to take care of him on stage. Please?"

Sodo chooses then to start squirming and trying to get free of the hold. Aether doesn't fight him on it; just makes sure his claws aren't tangled up in Sodo's hair and lets him get away on his own. He doesn't try to run again., at least… but he's still poised like an agitated cat, arched and coiled tight to himself in the process, tail still lashing out in irritation.

"That's what they told the others, isn't it? What they told Era Three? And why the fuck did you call him your little brother? Ghouls don't have siblings, you don't think that's a red flag?"

A yellow flag, at best… because he knows Sodo isn't wrong. They weren't supposed to be permanent. They weren't supposed to be replacements. Temporary aid, until the upper clergy was appeased to give Terzo his own Ghouls back. Just to prove he was successful and not being elevated by his Ghouls. That he could succeed with any Ghouls.

"Because Papa isn't being tested. Not like… not like the last one was." There's still some tension. Everyone's waiting for something to happen. Saltarian being around is terrifying to those that remember. Stratus doesn't know to be afraid of the man, yet; but, everyone else… they remember. "Sodo… he's scared enough without us putting more pressure on him. And even if we were being replaced, we promised not to do this, remember? You said you didn't want to react like Alpha did."

That, thankfully, does give him pause. It makes him relax enough that he slowly comes out of the arched position and settles to sitting with his legs folded criss-cross and his arms crossed tight to his stomach. "I don't. That's why I ran. I—if we are being changed out why didn't Papa say anything? Why just you two? When do the rest of us get changed—?"

"Papa didn't summon them." Aether blinks, pointing to his eyes, like it should have been obvious, but… maybe Sodo really hadn't noticed in the sudden spike of anxiety? But he knows Aether's being substituted, so he had to have noticed, surely? "Phantom's a Quintessence. Same as me. Papa's amazing but I don't think the clergy would let him summon two of us. Not when they don't understand why Swiss came along with us."

Sodo doesn't look convinced. He doesn't argue; but, he still lets his attention go off to the side, like he's trying to figure out how to explain himself better.

"He's not Quintessence." Aether just stares and, when Sodo looks up to meet his eye, he flusters a little, angry but… not at Aether. "He's not. I don't know what he is—what either of them are but… but they aren't Quintessence or Air. Not… not like you or Cirrus or Cumulus. But… not like Swiss or Stratus, either. I can't figure it out; but, something's wrong about them."

Stratus had seemed to think so, too. She's calmed down, but… he thinks that might be more just… her than anything else. Wary but willing to give people a chance. Still on guard but open to being wrong. She doesn't know to be afraid. Not like the rest of them do. Not like Sodo does, having replaced Mist and Ifrit, both, so quickly.

"Wrong or no, that was no reason to attack them. I was hoping being around the others would've made it easier for you, but… that really wasn't necessary, was it?"

"I didn't… mean to. I mean. I'm still mad, but… that off thing? It was really loud when you introduced him. When he just… made the flames vanish. … I don't like it, Aeth. How do you know it's temporary? What if it isn't? Why replace you and Stratus, why not all of us, why now—?"

"Shh—shh, shh, shh. Come here, before you twist yourself into kindle." Aether opens his arms and is grateful Sodo takes the opening to immediately crawl back into his lap, even as he simply tucks himself into a ball instead of latching on. "Slow down, firefly… we're still okay. Everything's going to be okay. I know it's weird. But the best way we make it less weird is helping them so Papa can focus on the Rituals, yeah? 'Cause to be honest… don't think Papa knows, yet, either. He'd have said something, right?"

He sees Sodo's brow furrow, clearly thinking on it, himself; Aether just smiles and pets his hair back, gently. As long as he stays calm… the others should, too. As long as Aether can stay calm… things can be fine.

"Are you gonna let me answer, now?" He thinks the grumble is supposed to be an affirmative and Aether lets his head rest on Sodo's. "You know how Stratus and Swiss go help the other branches of the church? We're just doing something like that… it's super hush and shush right now, but if they're willing to push this right before a tour starts, I have to believe it's important." He needs to tell himself that. He needs to have faith this isn't going to blow up in their faces. Not like… not like it did for the era before them. "I don't know why I'm going, instead of Swiss. But we'll figure it out, okay? Everything is going to be okay."

It has to be.

Sodo finally nods after a bit longer of staying quiet and slowly starts to uncurl himself. "… Can I try again? Just… just us. Not the others. Just you and… and the new one."

"Phantom." Sodo wrinkles his nose and Aether rolls his eyes a little. Fondly, but still a bit exasperated. "Promise you'll at least give him a chance?"

"... Won't promise somethin' I can't guarantee. But I'll try."

He purrs, the smallest bit, when Aether gives his right horn a kiss and nuzzles at him, "That's all I'm asking for. Do you want to come inside or me bring him out here?"

"... Out here. … Don't shadow walk. Just—you can go back upstairs that way but… don't bring him that way. I… I need a minute."

Aether nods and lets Sodo stand on his own, lets him figure out where his stability is. He only watches for a few seconds before letting out a slow breath and a quick I'll be back soon as a warning before he fades into the shadows. He shakes off as soon as he steps out into the commons and is more than a little relieved to find everything in one piece. Aurora's sitting on Cumulus' lap, on the couch, watching Stratus try to teach her how to braid hair with Cirrus as their test subject. She doesn't look pleased by it; but, she also doesn't shoo the Ghoulette away. Phantom's perched on the arm of the couch, opposite of the Ghoulettes, attention shifting between them and watching where Swiss and Mountain have dissolved into… a game of poker. Rain's watching for cheating—or helping them cheat, he isn't really sure—but it's… still a relief.

Phantom notices him first, ears perking up and his attention immediately going to Aether—followed quickly by Swiss looking over his shoulder and soon everyone else—and it's in that moment that Aether… almost understands what Stratus and Sodo reacted to. It's still a blank stare, but it feels… almost predatory. Not quite danger levels, but… the same as when Sodo zeroed in on stalking before he went into ambush mode.

Aether manages to shake it off and smiles; he's relieved when Phantom relaxes and smiles back; hopeful, if not a bit anxious.

"See? Everything's fine. Phantom, wanna try again? Bit more open space so Sodo doesn't feel as trapped?"

Phantom blinks, "Trapped? This is a very open room—?"

Rain looks wary of the idea; but, he still offers an encouraging smile and stands to give the other Ghoul a gentle pat on the shoulder as encouragement to leave his perch, "It is. But there's a lot of people and Sodo gets overstimulated pretty easy. Sometimes we help make things less, sometimes we make it worse. Guess today it was worse…"

He still looks confused; but, he follows the urging and slowly climbs down from the arm of the couch and crosses over to Aether, looking up curiously, "How did you do that? Coming out of nowhere?"

"I'll show you later," Aether promises, putting a hand between his shoulders in a gentle motion to lead him. It doesn't take much for the Ghoul to fall into step with him, thankfully. "It'll be better if we walk and take the elevator down. Shadow walking is… kind of alarming and Sodo's still a little bit high strung. Just be slow with him, okay? Let him make the first move."

Phantom nods and Aether's… actually feeling a little confident about this. Or, hopeful, at least.

When they get down to the ground floor, he sees Phantom trying to look into the garden windows, ears twitching and tail flickering in slow intervals as he absorbs the damage that never quite healed.

"... This was where Era Three…?"

Aether frowns a little, but still nods. "Yeah. … You heard about that already?"

"Sister mentioned it… to be wary that… that we don't end up like them. If we fail."

"... This… this happened because of what happened to their summoner. She can't hurt you like this without your summoner… but you two… haven't told us who summoned you?"

Phantom stares at him. Aether actually jumps when Sodo leans in from the gardens, clearly confused why they're just standing at the windows. He still freezes up when he's closer to Phantom; but, he doesn't bolt and he doesn't catch fire which is… promising. Aether tries to laugh it off.

"Sorry, I uh… got distracted. We were talking—"

"About Alpha. And a summoner. … Who did summon you? I always thought Quintessence was… only for the upper clergy…?"

Phantom looks between them, slowly, clearly confused. "The… the sister did. With the lab teams…?"

This time it's Aether looking back at Sodo, slowly, just to see if he understands; Sodo looks more confused than he did a second ago and Aether can tell his anxiety is starting to climb again. Although… that might be Aether's own rare manifestation of anxiety trying to twist his chest into knots. He hopes it isn't. If it is, he hopes Copia doesn't feel it.

"Sodo… we can do this another day if you need to; but, right now, I need you to calm down, firefly."

"You weren't summoned. That's why you don't feel right." Sodo finally comes out of the gardens. He stops before he gets too close, clearly struggling with his own anxiety of meeting new people and wanting answers before he finally closes the rest of the distance and puts a hand against Phantom's shoulder. A light, fleeting touch at first; like he's making sure the Ghoul actually is there. When he doesn't vanish, he tries again, pressing his hand a little harder.

Phantom doesn't fight the touch. He just blinks a few times, looking between them like Aether has answers to what's going on. He doesn't seem aware there's smoke coming from his void until Aether yanks Sodo backwards; but, the smoke isn't coming from Sodo. He's not the one generating heat. For the briefest moment Phantom's eyes change to Fire Ghoul orange before they're purple again.

Sodo pulls his left sleeve back and then yanks on Aether's arm—Aether swears as he's snapped out of his own distracted, morbidly curious thoughts—to shove his right sleeve back. He points at his own arm, forcing his patron seal to show up—the Leviathan cross. Aether slowly lets his own seal show up, when he finally stops staring at Sodo's. He can't remember the last time either of them actually made their seals visible. Phantom looks even more confused by the symbols.

"You don't have one. Do you?" No accusation. Anxiety. Aether feels it twisting his insides and it's a concentrated effort not to react.

"Sodo—"

"Do you or don't you?"

"I… I don't know what that is, so I'm going to say no…?" He starts to reach for Sodo's, like he wants to touch it; Aether's still too shocked, himself, to try warning him until Sodo bares his fangs with a violent snarl. Phantom immediately pulls his hand back to himself, apologising, hastily. "I—I didn’t mean to—"

"Sodo." Sodo finally calms down a little, shoving his sleeve back down and crossing his arms, tight to his body for security, mostly using it to hide his arm, even when the seal is protected under his void again. Aether sighs and lets his own melt back into his void, turning the look on Phantom. "Aurora doesn't have one, either, does she?"

"I don't… believe so, no."

"He wasn't supposed to replace you." Sodo mumbles, pulling the attention to himself. His tail flickers and he refuses to look up. "They tried to copy Swiss. That's why it feels wrong. Because it's you… but I'm there, too. She has it, too. Air and Fire. Air controls fire, though; and Quintessence trumps everything. Stratus could probably tell. But they just feel normal to you, don't they?"

Normal isn't the word Aether would use. But he still thinks on it. "… They feel empty. But that isn't their faults—"

"I'm not blaming them." Sodo finally looks calm. Now that he has… some kind of answer, he looks calmer. Feels calmer. He finally meets Phantom's eye. "… You're really not here to replace Aeth?"

Phantom blinks and looks between them, "I—? No? We're here to help. I don't know what they're doing, but… we're supposed to help. … I want to. They showed us your past Rituals." He finally smiles—Aether relaxes and he feels Sodo relaxing, gradually—and looks a little more confident, "You're all amazing. Papa's amazing. I want to see it for myself. But I need to learn, to do that, right? You'll teach me?"

"It's… a lot to shove into a month, but yeah. Absolutely. And you'll have the others on stage to help." He tilts his head a little, regarding Phantom, "Do you remember how we got down here? Can you get back to the commons by yourself?"

"I can! I can… kinda feel 'Rora… will I be able to walk like you? And find the others, too?"

He's not sure who taught him that, but Aether offers a small smile, "Maybe. We'll figure it out. You go ahead, I need to talk to Sodo." Phantom nods and offers a bow—too proper, definitely taught by the clergy, not socialised enough with others—and takes off for the stairs. Aether waits until he's well out of sight—hopes he actually is—and finally turns his attention down to Sodo. " … Think you can handle being around the others, firefly?"

"... Yeah. Maybe. … Broth, first." Sodo lets out a slow breath, attention still fixed on the floor. "… Are we going to tell the others?"

"That they weren't summoned?"

"That they're manufactured. I—it feels… wrong. But they don't deserve that… not having a patron to protect them…"

Aether hums a little, putting his hand against the small of Sodo's back to get him to walk. "Well… we'll protect them, then. Yeah? We couldn't do anything for Era Three but… maybe those two, we can."

That seems to help. Sodo finally raises his head, finally walks with a bit more of his usual confidence.

"Yeah. Yeah, I like that a lot more."

#sqooshy writes #ghost band #ghost fanfiction #aether/sodo #aether ghoul #sodo ghoul #phantom ghoul #aurora ghoulette #stratus ghoulette #ghouls era 5 #rating: teen #based on art #ship: soulfire