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#my sims: elvis
folkbreeze · 4 months
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he loves being a dad now (he keeps getting whims of having another child even)
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pralinesims · 10 months
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Heartbreak hotel
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girlsimblogger · 4 months
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Priscilla Presley <333
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burninlovebutler · 1 year
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my boy, my boy 💗 i am so proud of you 💗 and i know Elvis & Lisa Marie are too 💗
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of course i am disappointed at the oscar’s loss BUT at the end of the day, we still won in so many other ways & areas - we’ve come a long way & it’s been quite a journey & there is SO MUCH to celebrate outside of one award - our boy & this movie was winning awards left & right all season
golden globes & baftas are HUGE win’s especially for this stage in his career plus awards are bullshit anyway i never cared or paid attention to them until now
one award does not dictate or null the success, impact & love this movie has cultivated
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art in any form is subjective
to paraphrase my other fav boy, Harry Styles’ grammy speech:
“I think on nights like tonight it’s important for us to remember there is no such thing as ‘best’ in music art. I don’t think any of us sit in the studio on set making decisions on what is going to get us one of these [awards],”
and Jon Batiste’s speech:
"I believe this to my core, there is no best musician, best artist, best dancer, best actor - the creative arts are subjective and they reach people at a point in their lives when they need it most. It's like a song or an album is made and it's almost like it has a radar to find the person when they need it the most."
and the movie, austin & elvis certainly found us when we needed it the most - i whole heartedly believe that 💗
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it might be the end of an era, but there is a new beginning on the horizon & i can’t wait to be there with you all 🌅💕
i know that i will look back at this time with such happiness & fondness, i’ve made such great friends & memories - i cherish it all
i won all of you guys & that’s a pretty fucking good win in my book 💗
i love y’all so much 💗
-mel xx
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teeth-boiler · 25 days
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if you're gonna start a legacy, first you gotta finish your senior year
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spitvana · 9 months
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UsoNami Week! 🍊🤥 Spies 🕵️‍♀️
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karel-in-wonderland · 2 years
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Sims!Elvis says hello from his Sims!Graceland
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auroragoth · 2 years
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Elvis called in the morning to tell Tatiana her mother had died in her sleep so she paid him a visit.
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bruh-changbin · 1 year
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sweet tooth
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pairing: park jay x waitress!afab reader
genre: smut, minimal fluff (minors dni)
warnings: oral (f receiving), unprotected sex (be safe), public sex, creampie, finger sucking, minimal food play, lots of mentions of food, brief mention of male masturbation, jongseong is kind of a big desperate loser, lmk if i’m missing anything
word count: 6.7k
a/n: writing this killed me idk why it took fucking forever dawg. but hey, i’m finally giving you all an enha fic without a depressing ending!!! here’s a fun drinking game to play while you read this: take a shot every time jay says a variation of ‘uhhh’ (you will die) ALSOOOO this is for my bae’s @k-ingzo @lix-ables thank you guys for hyping me up to write this bc if you didn’t I’m 90% sure I would’ve scrapped it 😻 LOVE YAAAAA
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waiting. 
the most painful game one can be subjected to.
seconds stretch into minutes stretch into hours and soon enough the whole concept of time is but a mere social construct that holds no real value. 
surely his coffee’s gone cold by now. 
the view from the window to his right has progressed from one filled with gold, yellow and orange to one filled with blue, black, and indigo. one by one the neon signs of nearby businesses have flickered on to attract the nighttime crowd. 
he tries to ignore the way his heart is sinking in his chest, much like the way he himself is sinking deeper and deeper into the red vinyl cushion of the booth he’s seated in. the overhead speakers have been blaring elvis for the past half hour and he wants to scream and smash a plate on the floor in frustration. if they play hound dog one more time i swear i’m gonna-
jennifer. 20. single. 2.3 km away. her bio read: only swipe right if you like puppies!!!!!
he does like puppies and found her to be quite pretty, so he did as he was instructed. his heart did a small flip in his chest when his phone screen lit up reading ‘it’s a match!’. he got to talking to her and things were going smoothly. well, at least he thought they were. now he’s alone in a booth constantly refreshing their online chat with some sliver of hope that she may still be coming. the same three messages stare back at him:
[5:17 pm] jay : hey! I got here a bit early so i’m just waiting in the car. let me know when you get here and we’ll go in together.
[6:03 pm] jay: it started getting busy so i snagged us a booth, i hope that’s ok… anyways, i’ll see you soon.
[6:49 pm] jay: hello?
whatever, her loss. fuck dating apps.
and fuck jake sim for making him sign up for one.
maybe tinder just isn’t for him. maybe he needs to find love the old fashion way: bumping into someone on the street; locking eyes across a crowded room; both of you reaching for the last bottle of wine at the grocery store and then just insisting that the other takes it. you know, the kind of shit you see in movies.
the only thing is he’s tried the old fashion way for years to no avail, with tinder being his last resort. things like these take time, he tries to remind himself. you can’t rush love, that’s the magic of it!
but now, seated in a booth at an obnoxiously retro themed diner with his head hung low, he has lost all faith in love. he picks up the porcelain mug to his right and downs the dark liquid; cold, just like his heart. 
he should just leave. i mean it’s obvious at this point that he’s been stood up so he should just head home where the teasing and nagging from jake that will bruise his ego even more is iminent. there comes a time in life where one must accept defeat and move on with-
“would you like a top up, sir?”
a sudden interjection from a saccharine voice to his left is what pulls him out of his trance of self pity. woah, hello you. 
it’s been a long time since he’s been rendered speechless, but you do that to him. you, looking like someone who should be on the cover of a magazine as opposed to serving coffee in a diner. a white button down hugs your torso in all the right ways and he’s envious of the red apron that’s tightly wrapped around your waist because that should be him. the blue ballpoint pen tucked behind your ear somehow makes you 10x more attractive and he can feel his throat close up at the sight of you. 
your skin looks smooth and your lips look plump and thank fuck jessica bailed on him because now all he can think about is bending you over this very table and fucking you raw. top up? more like top me, please!
the glint of the gold name tag pinned onto your shirt catches his eye and he reads it: y/n. pretty.
he notices your eyes shifting around anxiously and reality comes crashing down on him. stop drooling over her tits and answer the question you perv. focus!
“i u-uhhh yes, uh yes please that’d be great,” he stutters out embarrassingly, prompting you to bend over and refill his mug with steaming hot coffee from a pot that you hold with a perfectly manicured hand. 
“can i get you anything else while you…” your eyes dart to the empty seat across from where he’s seated, “wait?”
god this is so embarrassing. now the cute waitress thinks he’s a fucking loser who got stood up (that is exactly what happened). could this day get any worse? he was just about to leave, spare himself from more agony when you waltzed into his life and made his brain a complicated, frazzled mess. 
“uhmm no that’s ok,” he’s trying very hard not to trip over the simplest of words, “just the bill would be great.”
you nod, about to turn around and head over to the register when jay speaks up again in an attempt to preserve his image. 
“it was supposed to be a-a work meeting,” he starts while motioning to the still empty spot across from him, “but my uh….. business partner… couldn’t make it, so..”
he’s lying. you know he’s lying. someone waiting for their ‘business partner’ to show up wouldn’t be checking their phone every 1-3 minutes while intermittently wiping their clammy palms on their slacks every time the doorbell jingles and a new customer enters.
but he doesn’t need to know that, so you paint on an understanding smile before heading over to the diner counter, sparing him one final glance over your shoulder.
it’s a sad sight to see; a handsome boy patiently waiting for someone who’s clearly not going to show up. so you bring him a slice of red velvet cake dolled up with cream cheese icing and waive the two cups of coffee that were tacked onto his bill for the evening.
“it’s on the house,” you practically whisper into his ear while placing a comforting hand on his sturdy shoulder.
“oh!” his voice cracks, “t-thank you so much i-” he calls, but you’re already walking away to assist another table.
his hand instinctively reaches to where yours was placed on his shoulder only moments ago. he could sense the warmth radiating from your palm, feel the stray hairs of your bangs tickle his ear, smell the artificial strawberry scent of your lip gloss. 
either someone decided to crank the heat up in the diner or he’s becoming extremely flustered (it’s the second one). he scoffs down the cake you left him with flushed cheeks and tight pants, visions of himself prying your legs open and indulging in something sweeter plaguing his mind. 
with a hefty sigh he throws on his coat before making his way out of the diner and into his car that’s parked right out front. from behind his windshield he watches as you greet a group of other customers before turning his keys in the ignition and peeling out of the parking lot.
he doesn’t even make it home before he’s pulling into an empty parking lot and jerking himself to the thought of you and your work uniform and your glossed lips.
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covet. desire. yearn for. crave.
all very real tertiary emotions that park jay would use to describe his current feelings towards you - a server who he spoke to for two minutes max and now can’t seem to move on from.
unsurprisingly, jake teased the fuck out of him for getting stood up in the way that friends do. but he doesn’t know that jay views his failed date as a complete success. 
albeit he is still mildly salty over the fact that he got stood up, all negativity is washed from his brain the moment he pulls into the familiar parking lot in front of the familiar diner and he feels the familiar pitter patter of his heart quickening its pace from behind his ribcage. 
he tried to hold off on returning the literal day after he was just there, he really did, but he simply couldn’t bear it. the urge to see you, to observe you interacting with other patrons to know if you’re nice to everyone or if he got special treatment is too strong to ignore. it’s for science! he assures himself.
the dulcet jingle of the bell as he opens the door to the diner rings in his ears, and he waits to be seated. the hostess that shows him to a booth similar to the one he was in yesterday is pretty, but she’s not you. only then does jay realize that the possibility of you not having been scheduled to work today is very real. this is only worsened by the fact that he decided to come in the late morning today as opposed to the evening like yesterday. stupid, stupid, stupid!!!
while feeling like a complete and utter idiot he decides to get to work, whipping out his journal, writing utensils and laptop for the sake of not looking like a weirdo. what kind of person goes to a diner and just…. sits there. he’s gotta keep up a facade. 
things are starting to look grim for jay as he sits and works and waits for the object of his desire to appear in front of him. while the retro cat clock on the wall continues its relentless ticking he attempts to swallow down his dismay. 
alas, the universe must be on his side after all for soon enough he catches a glimpse of you through his peripherals. yes! you seem to be a little frazzled, gnawing on the inside of your cheek before grabbing a mop to clean up the chocolate milk that a toddler has decided to decorate the floor with; your shift must have just started. 
he keeps his head hung low while intermittently scribbling in his journal or scrolling on his laptop, opting to steal an occasional glance as you assist a plethora of other patrons. the coffee he was served upon his arrival is starting to go tepid, much like yesterday, and he’s practically praying you’ll soon stride over and ask if he needs a top up. 
“more coffee…” you pause briefly, “jay?”
hold up, how’d you learn his name? 
his brow quirks upwards in confusion and with your hand - the one that’s not holding a boiling pot of coffee - you point to his leather bound journal that’s splayed across the table, opened to the first page. property of park jay is scrawled across the top in his sloppy handwriting akin to that of a first graders. he’s surprised you can even distinguish what it says to be completely honest. 
“ahhh,” he remarks in understanding, smiling ever so slightly because hey, now you know each others names. that’s a step in the right direction.
“were you looking to order something? you know, other than black coffee.”
as if on cue his stomach growls (luckily quietly enough for you to not pick up on it) and he fumbles for the plastic covered menu to his right that slips and slides in his sweaty grasp. 
“i would love to but uhh, i’m not sure what i’m in the mood for… what do you recommend?”
you roll his question around in your head for a moment, “were you thinking sweet or savoury? or if you want both, we make a pretty mean monte cristo.”
at this point if you told jay to walk off a cliff he would do it, so he orders your recommendation without hesitation.
“good call,” you purr before waltzing away from his booth and into the kitchen, leaving jay to erupt in a fit of goosebumps on his own. 
while he waits he busies himself with reading an article on his laptop, getting halfway through before realizing he hasn’t actually been taking any information in the entire time. but can you blame him? his brain is… preoccupied with other thoughts. 
soon enough you’re striding back over to where he’s seated, placing a steaming monte cristo with so much confectioner's sugar on top it looks as if there’s been a mini avalanche in front of him. he thanks you and is about to dig in before he realizes you aren’t leaving. 
“is your business partner coming today?”
…what?
“my business partner? i don’t- OH! fuck, uh y-yes my business partner right! uh no, no he’s not coming today. i usually come here to work on my own though.”
for a moment he forgot about the blatant lie he spilled to you the last time he was here to save face, but he thinks he saved himself with that last bit. 
a playful yet triumphant smirk makes its way onto your face, “that’s funny, i’ve never seen you here before yesterday.”
his eyes widen and his palms become impossibly sweaty. caught in a lie, great.
before he can come up with a witty response you just shoot him a knowing look as you walk away from the booth he’s seated in, your strawberry body spray wafting behind you and infiltrating his senses, rendering him immobile. 
ugh how you make his teeth ache! he longs to douse you in syrup and powdered sugar, drag his hot tongue across your skin as you squirm and twist in pleasure underneath him. he’s sure you’d be sweet enough to give him a cavity. he finishes his monte cristo with gusto and attempts to do more work on his laptop but finds his brain to be far too frazzled to do so.
when he decides to call it quits, he leaves you a hefty tip before driving home with the taste of sugar coating his lips and the inside of his mouth.
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over the span of a few weeks the two of you become accustomed to a game similar to the likes of cat and mouse.
he shows up to the diner in the late morning/early afternoon and prays that you’re scheduled for a shift; you usually are. through the course of a few hours jay manages to get minimal amounts of work done while you check on him occasionally, offering your opinions on different menu items and then placing a hand on his shoulder with a laugh when he trips over his words. 
he’s sure you can sense the tension as well, but in case you can’t he keeps his thoughts to himself. you could just be doing your job for all he knows. 
nevertheless, it feels as if all aspects of jay’s life now revolve around you. when he falls asleep at night you’re the last thing on his mind and when he wakes up you’re the first. when he gets himself off he has to think of you or else he won’t feel satisfied, and he can only hope and pray that one day he’ll be able to feel your body against his, the warmth radiating from your body making him feel like a cake in an oven. 
sure he’d love to take you out, shower you with gifts and spoil you by taking you to expensive places that would surely break the bank, but he just can’t seem to push away all of the hardly appropriate thoughts and feelings he harbours towards you. it’s becoming quite an issue, honestly.
he thinks of popping the buttons on your blouse open one by one before diving in, scattering bite marks and bruises across your tits and neck and collarbones as you writhe and plead underneath him. i need more jay, please give it to me…
god you would sound so perfect.
his fantasies don’t stop there though; they never do. he can’t help himself from imagining what it'd be like to reach up your skirt and peel your panties down your legs as if they’re strands of red licorice. he’d go so slow, taunting and teasing you before slipping himself inside of you and feeling your cunt suck him in as if you crave him like oxygen. 
you smell of strawberries and he’s sure you taste like them too. the stripper red polish on your nails would pair so well with the scratches he’s sure you’d leave across the expanse of his back and shoulders. he longs to dig his teeth into your plush thighs like they’re mochi, snapping a picture of his bite mark embedded in your perfect skin to save for later use. 
down bad is an understatement when it comes to jay’s desire for you. infatuation is more like it.
today starts off like every other day. the smell of burnt coffee is what pulls him from his slumbers, and the clock on his bedside table tells him he managed to sleep in until one in the afternoon. when he trudges into the kitchen he sees his roommate and friend jake, who likely also just woke up and still doesn’t understand how to properly operate a coffee machine, staring at his phone. 
it’s then that jake reminds him of the plans they made to spend the afternoon at their friends house playing video games before grabbing takeout for dinner. jay curses his past self for agreeing to these dumb plans with his dumb friends since he was planning on heading to the diner today to marvel at his favourite waitress! oh well, he can still head over for an hour and a half at most before he has to return and uphold the prior promise he made. 
he turns down jake’s offer of a cup of coffee and, after a quick shower, he’s flying out the door.
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when he finally makes it to the place where he spends most of his days now he doesn’t even wait to be seated, just slips into the same booth as always and waits for you. the little ritual the two of you have fallen into now so ingrained into his brain he can’t imagine straying from it. alas, it’s decently busy today so he busies himself by scrolling through his instagram feed while waiting for you to grace him with your presence.
when you finally appear in front of him you don’t say anything, just shoot him your usual friendly smile while precariously placing a napkin and mug of black coffee in front of him before leaving as quickly as you came. this sends jay into an emotional spiral. oh god, did i do something wrong? he ponders to himself, brows furrowed as he tries to remember everything he said to you during your last interaction that could have potentially been misconstrued.
only then does he notice the blue ink poking out from the napkin tucked underneath his steaming mug of coffee. with shaky hands he pulls it out and reads the short message written in your refined penmanship:
my shift is done at 10:00 pm.
wait for me? :)
y/n
and just below your neat scrawl he can make out a sticky lip gloss print, a faint hint of the fake strawberry scent that plagues his mind day and night still lingering. 
in this moment he should be happy, ecstatic, victorious even! his constant and obsequious devotion to you has not gone unnoticed, and at long last he’ll be alone with you in a place that doesn’t have checkered tile floors and posters of pin ups on every square inch of the teal coloured walls. but no, all he feels is embarrassment.
embarrassment because he was too much of a wiener to actually do something so you felt the need to take matters into your own hands. and embarrassment because your little napkin love letter signed off with your glossy kiss is making him excruciatingly horny. it’s like he’s in highschool all over again - yikes. 
he glances at the face of the silver watch that he scarcely takes off, the leather wrist strap now feeling uncomfortably tight considering his recent spike in blood pressure. with some reluctance he decides to leave early, tucking your napkin note into his pocket before driving home while barely focusing on the road and cars in front of him.
the hangout with jake and the rest of his friends is excruciating as expected. time seems to both fly by and drag on simultaneously, and he watches the hands on his watch tick down the hours, minutes, seconds until he can finally be with you - alone. when jake finally throws the towel in jay all but runs out of the door, speeding down the now far emptier city streets before pulling into the dining parking lot and waiting (he’s 23 minutes early).
with every passing minute his heart rate quickens and, when the time reads 10:06 pm, he thinks he’s going to faint when he sees you exit your place of work and scan the parking lot briefly before making your way over to his car. the sound of his passenger side door opening feels far off as he tries to make sense of the fact that you are about to be in his car, right beside him. what the fuck.
“hi.”
“hi.”
“i like your car.”
“oh, you do?”
“yep. it suits you.”
“really?”
you only nod at this, flashing him a subtle grin before flipping down the sun visor in front of you to tidy up your appearance after a long and tiring shift (he still thinks you look pretty). it feels as if his fingers aren’t his own as he fiddles with the radio while gazing at you through his peripherals, watching as you rub the smudged mascara from underneath your eyes before applying a final coat of the lip gloss that he loves oh so much. how on earth is he going to last longer than 5 minutes without falling at your feet?
“sooo what do you wanna do?” jay questions, unsure if his eagerness to hear your response is because he’s genuinely curious or because he just likes the sound of your voice.
“you choose, take me anywhere,” you offer with a smile, “surprise me!”
“okay!” he responds, narrowly escaping a voice crack as he shifts his car into reverse.. he has just the place in mind. 
the drive is somewhat of a lengthy one, although you don’t seem to mind. it’s warm enough to have the windows down, and jay greedily gulps down deep breaths of the fresh night air. from your spot in the passenger seat you ramble about your day at the diner, complaining about an old man who held the ketchup bottle the wrong way and promptly squirted it all over you when you came to ask how he was doing. despite all, you still manage to have a positive attitude. 
soon enough he’s pulling off of the main road into an opening surrounded by woods, killing the engine and the car lights and opting to bask in the natural glow of the night sky. 
“wow jay, way to be subtle.”
“what!!?”
“what do you mean what? you bring me to the city’s unofficial official makeout spot and expect me to not be skeptical?”
fuck. for the entirety of the drive over he was hoping that you wouldn’t know about the promiscuous reputation this spot has garnered over the years. he can’t give up this quickly though, he must play innocent!
“i- woahh, is that what this place is? i genuinely had no idea i just-”
“shut it jay, the first thing i noticed about you was that you’re a terrible liar.”
you’ve got him there, deception is not his strong suit. he’s about to explain himself when he notices you unbuckling your seatbelt and stepping out of his car, prompting him to do the same.
“i just thought it would be a nice, secluded space where we could talk and hang out… nothing more.”
silence settles over the two of you and, upon noting jay’s queasy expression, you decide to indulge yourself and tease him (just a little bit).
“what are you trying to say?” you bat your eyelashes and fake being in thought, “that you don’t wanna fuck me on the hood of your car?”
he chokes on his saliva. 
“w-what i’m trying to say is that i’m a uhhhh gentleman. i’m a gentleman.”
yeah right, you think to yourself. a gentleman and a major fucking hypocrite. 
“okay jay, if you’re such a gentleman then why do you have a raging hard-on from literally just talking to me?”
in the pale moonlight you see his eyes widen before he scrambles to cover his crotch, not doing much to conceal his erection that’s straining against his slacks. 
“oh god i’m so sorry i can explain uhh-”
“i’m just fucking with you,” you taunt before petting his hair affectionately, attempting to quieten your giggles while jay plasters on a fake smile even though he looks like he’s about to puke. in an attempt to garner the little composure he has left he turns away from you, the cool night air soothing his heated cheeks. 
from where he’s standing he’s granted an overarching view of the city he calls home. against the nighttime sky he can decipher the suburbs, the downtown area, the cafe district. upon each building there’s a small rectangle filled with yellow or white light, windows in which individual people are carrying out their individual lives; it makes everything seem so… miniscule. i mean, aside from you, nobody even knows he’s up here - and he’s still trying to decipher if that’s a good thing or not, seeing as tonight all he’s done is embarrass himself. 
when he looks back you’re leaning against the hood of his car, your arms folded across your chest which sequentially shoves your tits together in a way that makes him wanna plunge his face in between them and give you a good old fashioned motorboat. 
his thoughts are cut off when you speak up.
 “i brought you something,” you announce before turning and opening the passenger side door of jay’s car, trifling around in your before before pulling something out and heading back to where you were standing before, leaning against the hood of his car. in your hands is a toppled over piece of red velvet cake protected by a clear plastic takeout container coupled with two disposable forks. 
“sorry it’s kinda smushed…. i forgot about it.”
“no, that’s ok!” jay thinks you shouldn’t have to apologize for anything ever, “thank you.”
with a crisp pop you open up the container, moving it to sit in between the two of you before passing jay one of the flimsy plastic forks. he lets you take the first bite, stating that after a long shift you need to get your blood sugar back up. you laugh before complying, watching as jay takes a bite right after you do, his eyes rolling back as all of the sweet, rich flavours dance across his taste buds. despite the piece of cake not being in the best condition, it still tastes like heaven.
jay’s caught off guard when your hand suddenly swoops in just as he’s about to spear another piece of cake with his fork, collecting a dollop of icing on one of your nails. he should’ve seen it coming when you reach up and wipe it on the tip of his nose with a playful laugh.
“wow y/n, so original,” he sneers while wiping the cream cheese icing on his nose onto the back of his hand. 
he attempts to do the same to you, dipping his finger in the thick frosting before moving to wipe it on the tip of your nose, but you suddenly latch onto his wrist. he watches with hungry eyes and an erratic pulse as your tongue comes in contact with his knuckle, licking all the way up to his icing-coated fingertip before taking his digit inside your mouth. the thick muscle of your tongue wraps around his finger, sucking away the sweetness before you pull yourself off of him. a faint pink ring of lip gloss on the base of his knuckle now present. 
fuck me.
not a single word is exchanged before jay pushes himself onto you, prompting you to lean back against the hood of his car that’s still slightly warm. with your body weight resting on your elbows and your legs spreading to accommodate jay’s torso, you finally let him taste you. 
your lips are soft and warm like a pastry fresh out of the oven, and when he pulls away he heaves a heavenly sigh filled with pleasure and contentment and thank fuck this is finally happening. it’s not long before you’re pressing your lips to jay’s again, one of your hands moving up to caress the shell of his ear before resting against his face.
you can feel his jaw move against your palm when he opens his mouth and drags his tongue across your sugar coated lips, inducing you to do the same. when his tongue pushes past your teeth and brushes against yours you groan in pleasure, the fingers previously gracing his face dipping down to undo several buttons of your work shirt. with his lips against yours and his tongue down your throat you can feel him giving into you, as if you’re a delectable piece of his favourite candy and he has a raging sweet tooth. 
when jay pulls himself off of you you think you might just cry. luckily you don’t go without his touch for long, for when you open your eyes you watch him dip two fingers into the frosting on top of the forgotten slice of cake before smearing it across the exposed flesh of your tits and down your sternum. he promptly shoves the two frosting coating fingers into your gaping mouth, gazing at you with heart eyes as you suck them clean. 
only then does he dip his head down, the tip of his tongue teasing the sensitive skin of your right breast before licking the stripe of icing off with one broad swipe of his tongue. he gives your other breast the same treatment before giving it teasing nips and kisses, using his tongue to soothe the pinch of his canines. 
once he licks the rest of the frosting from your sternum he continues his descent, not stopping until the insides of your thighs are brushing against his pierced ears. in one swift movement he flips your skirt upwards, your pretty panties with a subtle wet patch now on display for him and only him.
not being able to resist seeing your bare cunt in all of its glory, jay eagerly digs two fingers into the waistband before dragging the fabric down your legs. your lacy pink thong gets all twisted and tangled around your ankles as jay struggles to pull it off, eventually managing to get it around your sneakers before tucking it into his pocket for safe keeping. 
he feels his pants grow impossibly tights as he stares at you on the hood of your car with your legs spread, quite literally something that could’ve been torn right out of a playboy. without missing a beat jay dives into you, flattening his thick tongue and licking you like he would a dripping ice cream cone. it catches you by surprise and you instinctively tangle your fingers in his ebony tresses, a needy moan making its way past your lips and into the air. jay uses the tip of his tongue to explore your needy pussy, lapping up your juices and revelling in the taste on his tongue. i could die like this he thinks, and he digs his blunt nails into your thighs while shoving his head impossibly deeper. 
it’s somewhat sloppy, but what he lacks in technique he makes up for in enthusiasm. it feels like he’s practically making out with your cunt and you can’t help yourself from tugging on his hair in approval. the groans he emits in response have you shuddering, the vibrations causing your legs to shake and tremble as you struggle to keep them pried open. in your lower abdomen you can feel the pressure of an impending orgasm begin to brew.
this sensation only doubles when jay shifts his focus to your clit, sucking on and toying with it like it’s a sugar-covered gumdrop. his actions have you arching your back off of the hood of his car, eyes squeezing shut as you cry and plead, “p-please don’t stop jay… never stop.”
your pleas boost jay’s ego to the max and he eats you out with unrestrained passion, alternating between sucking your clit and tonguing your hole until you finish all over his mouth with a canorous cry that reverberates between his ears. he hopes to never forget that sound.
with reluctance he pulls himself off of your sweet pussy, having to push your legs apart slightly to free himself from the way they were clenching around his head. he stares at you in awe as you bask in the post-orgasm sensation, mouth agape and chest heaving faintly. your eyes, when you finally pry them open, are slightly glassy and it looks like it takes you a second to come back to earth. 
your grip on jay’s hair loosened but you never fully let go, and soon enough he feels you tugging at his roots in an attempt to get him to hover over you once again. without hesitation you press your lips to his once again, tasting yourself in and on his mouth as you kiss him until you can’t breathe. 
his curious hands never stay resting in one spot on your body for longer than a second before he’s exploring somewhere else, his mouth making a path from your lips down to your jaw and neck. the tips of his fingers finally stop when they reach your hips, gripping onto your and flipping you over so your chest is against jay’s car and your ass is up in the air. 
he can’t help himself from ogling at your perfect form all splayed out for him. the curve of your ass is to die for and jay starts subconsciously unbuckling his belt, easing the strain of his pants against his painfully hard dick. 
from your spot on top of the car you begin to grow impatient. your tits are smushed and your neck is craned and even though you just came you’re already ready for another one if it means you get to feel jay filling you up like a cream puff. luckily, you soon feel the tip of jay’s cock dragging through your folds, your still-sensitive clit throbbing slightly when he bumps into it. the sound of jay spitting into his palm joins that of the crickets and your erratic breathing, soon replaced by his sighs of delight as he strokes his cock with his spit covered hand to help lube it up. 
you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in when you finally feel him prod your entrance with his tip, although you can sense some hesitancy. it’s not surprising when the silence is broken by jay asking: “...are you ready?”
he feels his chest tighten when you make a noise of approval followed by a meek nod, your starry eyes glancing back at him as much as you can in this particular position. with a hefty exhale he nods back before slowly starting to sink into you, a low groan making its way out of his chest as he pushes deeper and deeper until his hips are flush with your ass. 
once fully inside of you he remains stagnant for a moment, needing to adjust to how incredibly warm and tight you feel if he wants to last longer than three seconds. soon enough he feels he’s garnered enough collectedness to start moving, so he does. 
his movements are small, almost timid at first. like he’s testing the waters, garnering enough confidence to go harder, faster. your hushed whimpers of pleasure ring in his ears and he teasingly rolls his hips in an attempt to have you feel him impossibly deeper inside of you. 
“j-jay!” you cry when he seemingly bumps your g-spot with the tip of his cock, the muscles of your waist tensing up when he does. wanting to provide you as much pleasure as possible he continues his ministrations, not altering them in any way out of fear of doing something wrong. 
jay feels his stomach start to seize up as a pleasurable burn takes hold in his lower stomach, his vision blurring slightly at the edges as he shifts between groaning aloud and biting his lip so hard he’s worried he’ll break the skin and draw blood. with exercised caution he picks up the pace, ensuring that in this moment you’re still feeling as good as he is. 
his cock slips in and out of your desperate, dripping hole with ease, your hips banging against the unyielding metal hood of his car with each and every thrust. it’s hardly comfortable, but at this moment in time you think you’d rather die than have jay stop - so you persevere. 
“god you’re so good jay, so fucking big,” you praise as you feel your second orgasm of the night approaching steadily. most of your limbs have started to go numb from the position you’re in yet you can feel each and every nerve end slowly begin to burn up, to bring you closer and closer to release. when jay reaches down to toy with your aching clit, you’re done for. 
the slight ache from the way your cunt is stretched around his cock adds to the jolting sensations that come every time he bumps your clit has you so close, so close you can taste the sweet promise of an orgasm dancing on the tip of your tongue. jay feels it too, for he throws all inhibitions to the wind and fucks you from behind with no restraint. 
he can feel his release creep up his spine and spread through all of his limbs until it’s all he can see, taste, and feel. groans continue to spill past his lips as white hot light floods his senses and a blinding orgasm washes over him, which is only strengthened by the sensation of your pussy clenching around his cock as you finish underneath him. he cums inside of your wanting cunt, filling it up to the brim before collapsing on top of you with a grunt. 
seconds turn into minutes and the two of you remain in place, breaths and pulses struggling to return to normal as you come down from an intense high. jay can feel his shirt clinging to his sweaty back, and he scrambles off of you when he realizes he was quite literally resting all of his weight on you.
with a helping hand he helps you sit up, chuckling slightly when your knees turn to jello when you try to stand up. so, you opt to stay seated on the hood of jay’s car for just a few more moments, patting the spot beside you to get him to sit down. you’re sure you look like a mess, but jay gazes at you with something that can only be described as awe.
smitten. captivated. enraptured. allured. 
the pale light of the moon casts a heavenly glow across your face, and he kisses your lips like they’re covered in strawberry syrup. 
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a/n: tumblr’s editing system is the biggest piece of garbage i am so sorry if there are any weird glitches or anything but i am literally seconds away from whipping my laptop at the wall out of frustration as i edit this so pls lmk if anything looks weird when this posts lawl thank you
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roosterm3attrash · 1 month
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101 ways to kill Barney Calhoun
I ended up making this list by going through multiple servers and people so here cuz I found it in my phone notes
Anyway the brilliant minds of the half-life fandom
1.) Waited pressure plate with tnt under it
2.) im going to leave mines under his mattress
3.) i’m setting a rake on his floor so he steps on it and whacks his face
4.) I'm giving him a bomb disguised as a cigar
5.) barney death 3: he ate what elvis presley ate….
6.) I would kill Barney Calhoun by slapping him so hard on the ass that it gives him cardiac arrest
7.) I drop him onto a pit of venomous snakes
8.) Im going to give Barney a beer but instead of beer it will be filled with deadly neurotoxin
9.) “now gordon, ive been keepin an eye out on this combine hideout for a while. they seem to walk in a certain pattern when crossing over to the entrance, which makes me think theyve buried mines all over the place. now, ive memorized the pattern, so im just gonna sneak on over, and you follow my lead, alright? dont worry, i know exactly where all the mines are.” and then he explodes
10.) that one episode of sponge bob where he eats the exploding pie and explodes
11.) set up tripwire then he falls into a tiger pit
12.) I type kill npc_barney into console
13.) slap the boobies off his chest so hard them fly around the world and hit the side of his head like water balloons
14.) i could marry him and slowly feed him mercury over a span for 3 years until he dies of mercury poisoning
15.) He tries to become a wwe wrestler but gets killed in a freak accident mid match
16.) I would kill him by making him a pizza but it’s covered in big chunks of lead but it’s hidden in the sauce and it’s a Chicago style pizza
17.) bring him to a highway and kiss him so hard he gets knocked onto the road and gets ran over
18.) Peeling him apart by the dna strand and eating it like spaghetti
19.) barney gets trampled by a stampede of horses
20.) giving him under the counter off brand viagra
21.) put him in a washing machine and turn it on
22.) shark attack
23.) pit of sharks
24.) barney gets criticized so badly he dies
25.) barney sits in an uncomfortable chair for too long
26.) He gets his arm caught in a bear trap w a beer used as a lure
27.) HE BECOMES THE CAT THAT TRAUMATIZED HIM. HE….YKNOW…..
28.) he gets stuck in a swimming pool like hes in the sims and dies from getting exhausted and drowning
29.) barney roasting marshmallows but his stick ignites into flames and he burns to death
30.) ATTACH SO MANY BALLOONS TO BARNEY HE FLOATS AWAY INTO THE SKY NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN
31.) barney gets rejected by gordon and he gets so sad his body shuts down
32.) I kiss him so tenderly on the lips that he melts into a puddle and dies
33.) i throw him in to a volcano so that he melt into a puddle and dies
34.) "I’ll turn him into a flea, a harmless, little flea, and then I’ll put that flea in a box, and then I’ll put that box inside of another box, and then I’ll mail that box to myself, and when it arrives…I’ll smash it with a hammer!"
35.) stick a bottle of beer into his throat, the whole bottle
36.) give Barney Calhoun a beer can full of poison
37.) hang a piano over the toilet and wait
38.) i think barney should have his spine ripped out through his mouth
39.) he goes to a bar and tries flirting with the bartender and the bartender takes out a shotgun and kills him on the spot
40.) punch him so hard in the penis that he shatters like a brittle glass
41.) bite him in half
42.) I'm grinding him in a giant shredder
43.) bro took a bath in hot mac 'n cheese
44.) i put him ina giant caldron full of water and i begin boiling him down to gelatin and broth
45.) barney accompanies the crew to the borealis and he steps over thin ice and gets dunked into the below zero water and freezes to death
46.) barney calhoun gets carried away by a tornado
47.) took barney on a vacation to Hawai’i and pushed him into a volcano
48.) He dies and he's never mentioned again and nobody cares
49.) died of tummy ache
50.) Stepped on by a strider
51.) shrinked until he disappeared completely
52.) blasted into the sun
53.) Stab him with 300 pencils made with real lead
54.) slip and falls and dies
55.) put him into a Minecraft furnace
56.) Barney ignores the wet floor sign and slips and cracks his head
57.) while swimming in the swimming pool he swims to fast and smashes his face against the pool's wall
58.) he gets a concussion and drowns
59.) i want to put him through a lunchmeat slicer
60.) He falls off a dumb huge cliff
61.) he lives his life to the fullest and at his deathbed at age 93, June 29th, 6:12 am he passes away
62.) he eats a burgie with too much grease and gets a heart attack
63.) testicular cancer
64.) He should get sucked into a fan while trying to fix it at Black Mesa and literally no one comes looking for him
65.) The Pita Bread Room
66.) slipped on a Banana peel
67.) ran over by a crap ton of shopping carts rolling down the hill
68.) barney overheats in a fursuit
69.) he has sex so bad that he dies
70.) Barney dies because i fucking kill him with a shovel 🖕
71.) barney eats the gas station sushi
72.) barney faints via twirling around and holding his hand in front of his forehead, and then slowly lying down with a flower in his hands to indicate death
73.) When they turn off the suppression fields he just blows up
74.) barney gets crushed by a giant boulder thats all i got son
75.) barney goes to the beach that makes you old
76.) His head spontaneously combusts and pops like corn
77.) erectile dysfunction
78.) we should also have him get carbon monoxide poisoning
79.) barney gets gaussian blurred into nothingness
80.) he eats 20 year old expired mcdonalds burger and contracts the worst case of food poisoning youve ever seen
81.) Have we done tying him to a train track like a damsel
82.) he dies in a glue trap
83.) barney develops lactose intolerance over the years of combine occupation and he drink milk and then dies from shitting hinself to death
84.) he should chocke on his favourite food
85.) barney gets lead poisoning from a 1990s garfield glass mug
86.) he chokes on plastic
87.) barney gets thrown throw a glass window from a 15 story building
88.) gordon gives barney a wedgie so bad that he splits in half and dies
89.) gordon and barney divorce and barney dies from heartbreak
90.) alyx and gordon have enough of barney’s snoring so they smother him in his sleep with a pillow
91.) he trips while walking with gordon and impales himself on gordons crowbar face
92.) if he were the size of an ant he'd be ok instead he blows up like a watermelon and his remains are fed to lamarr by a very delighted kleiner. he fucking hated barney
93.) dog roughhouses with barney and accidentally obliterates his spinal cord
94.) barney gets poisoned to death by his own chumtoad
95.) coats him in eggs and flour and fries him
96.) snatched by a hawk and eten alive
97.) barney gets to participate in a danganronpa killing game and gets executed
98.) barney opens the love-letter-for-you.txt.vbs file and it kills him
99.) elaborate rube goldberg machine to drop an anvil on barney
100.) barney dies in an Iron Maiden
101.) we should put barney under those old timey stone tablets meant to squish and torture people and make them talk
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folkbreeze · 2 months
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pralinesims · 11 months
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Assigned some AC characters to my 4 main blorbos!
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nonsensical-pixels · 1 year
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MY WEDDING TRAUMA: A SURELY-SIMS x ICE-CREAMFORBREAKFAST COLLABORATION, CONVERTED TO THE SIMS 2 [download - 👰🏽🤵🏽]
are you tired of brides in white dresses and toddlers with perfect pink flower baskets? is cereal packet gameplay just not doing it for you anymore? maybe you'd like your weddings to put the 'strange' in strangetown? search no more, the ingredients for the strangest wedding in sim nation are finally here!
so, since i caught that one virus, i've been playing around a bit more with ts2 cc creation and finally had the time to work on converting a big set again. but then... what to convert? the answer came to me in the links section of a random lookbook... in a sort of fever dream. a set that captures the recent theme on my blog, families, and yet completely destroys it at the same time: my wedding trauma.
everything here is remarkably versatile. i mean, i know for a fact that people aren't just going to use that jumpsuit for a wedding, elvis needs more freedom than that! there are 9 cas items and 6 buy items for a total of 17 items in this set!
the original ts4 collaboration is complete perfection; it has just the sort of trashy, nonsensical vibes that the ts2 wedding department is sorely lacking. my conversion of this isn't perfect, i'm still learning how to do clothing and there are some minor issues mentioned below the cut, but overall i think that it came out pretty good and i hope it invokes some chaos in your game. 💥
credits go to @ice-creamforbreakfast for most of the cas part of this collaboration, and to @surely-sims for the buy mode part!
keep reading for more info, rambles, and preview pics!
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PART 1: BUY MODE (6 items by @surely-sims)
ITEMS INCLUDED ARE: 1 - Fancy Folding Chair - 1.7k polys 2 - Margarita Tower - 3.4k polys 3 - Pizza Party Banquet Table - 1.5k polys 4 - Tiki Mug - 1.7k polys 5 - Toasting Bucket - 2.3k polys 6 - Wedding Arch - 10.2k polys*
individual previews are also to be found in the download!
THINGS TO NOTE: - The wedding arch is quite high-poly compared to other objects (10k) but that is the max for the polycounts. - The collection file included in the 'Surely-Sims' folder should go in the Collections folder in Documents.
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PART 2: CAS (8 items by @ice-creamforbreakfast and 1 by @surely-sims)
ITEMS INCLUDED ARE: 1 - Brandi Dress (YF-AF) - 3.9k polys 2 - Elvis Glasses (TU-EU) - 1.7k polys 3 - Elvis Jumpsuit (YM-AM) - 4.9k polys 4 - Goopy Jacket (TM-AM) - 2.3k polys 5 - Jess Hair (YF-EF) - 5.4k polys 6 - Kelly-Marie Hair (TF-EF) - 9.4k polys 7 - Malborough Dress (YF-AF) - 7.1k polys 8 - Newport Headpiece (YF-AF) 9 - Trashleen's Cigarette Bouquet (YF-EF) note: the Jess Hair is not part of the original set but is included because the Newport Headpiece is meant to pair with it.
individual previews are also to be found in the download!
THINGS TO NOTE: - The clothing may have some bone assignment issues (especially with straps) & mild gaps. - The 'Goopy Jacket' has a mild discoloration around the neckline. - All hairs are in @skittlessims Skittles Hair System - The 'Elvis Jumpsuit' is paired with 4t2 SP01 Pointed Stud. Converted by me :) - The 'Malborough Dress' is paired with Ice-CreamForBreakfast's Jessica Shoes.
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PART 3: THANKS & RAMBLE
have one final pic of the quirky couple and their patchwork family (ex-wife and dog included) 💞
this set was such a rollercoaster to work on, but also so, so much fun! i hope you guys enjoy it as much as i do 🥺
for anyone who's wondering--yeah i'm back for now, requests are still closed, wips depend on whether im in the mood... but from now on releases should be less queued and have a more 'personal touch' 😏
i'll get around to posting the discord-exclusives i released while i was gone... eventually. there's a few that i'm keeping for myself x
anyway... happy simming, hope you enjoy these conversions, and have a lovely day simming! if you use these feel free to @ me, i wanna see the chaos and the cool stuff these are used in 🥰
love,
~ Ky (nonsensical-pixels)
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riddlerosehearts · 2 months
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things from percy jackson and the olympians: the lightning thief, chapter 16 "we take a zebra to vegas", that i deeply missed in the tv show:
dyslexia-friendly zoo truck design 😔
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annabeth wanting to immediately free the animals LITERALLY WHILE THEY WERE STILL IN THE MOVING TRUCK WITH THEM 😭
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annabeth opening up to percy about her fear of spiders and having a really sweet little moment where she shares her oreos with him 🥺
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"i don't know what my mom will do, i just know i'll fight next to you" "why?" "because you're my friend, seaweed brain, any more stupid questions?"--one of THE most iconic percabeth moments that practically everyone wanted to see.
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percy realizing he can talk to horses, by talking to A ZEBRA, which really should've been featured if they were going to fucking call the episode WE TAKE A ZEBRA TO VEGAS. smh >:(
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the kids just stumbling upon the lotus casino and deciding to stay because they're kids who are tired and just relieved to see a friendly face
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the place actually feeling like a paradise for kids, and all 3 of them naturally getting lured into its trap and having the time of their lives as a result
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percy slowly realizing something is wrong because he runs into a kid who's been there since 1977, dresses like an elvis impersonator, and calls things "groovy"
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annabeth not wanting to leave despite knowing it's a trap because she's just a kid and she genuinely thinks this place is amazing and she wants to finish her sim city!!!!
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grover and percy, too, being tempted to stay, and all of them having to make the decision to do the right thing by leaving.
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My Wedding Trauma - A Simblreen 2022 Collab with Surely-Sims!
𝒴𝑜𝓊 𝒜𝓇𝑒 𝒞𝑜𝓇𝒹𝒾𝒶𝓁𝓁𝓎 𝐼𝓃𝓋𝒾𝓉𝑒𝒹 𝓉𝑜 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒲𝑒𝒹𝒹𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝑜𝒻 𝒯𝓇𝒶𝓈𝒽𝓁𝑒𝑒𝓃 𝑀𝒶𝓁𝒷𝑜𝓇𝑜𝓊𝑔𝒽 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒢𝑜𝑜𝓅𝓎 𝒢𝒾𝓁𝓈𝒸𝒶𝓇𝒷𝑜! ❤️🌴🦜
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Earlier this year, my good friend Surely-Sims came to me traumatised and shaking. A Jimmy Buffet Trashy Wedding Set had been haunting her dreams and she didn't know what to make of such tidings. I explained that the best thing to do was to take ownership of the horror, so together, we bravely recreated this set from the deepest, darkests depths of her nightmares.
I hope you all find this set as terrifying, entertaining and....rancid as we do  ☠️
Love, Alex
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::𝔻𝕆𝕎ℕ𝕃𝕆𝔸𝔻:: (ℙ𝕒𝕥𝕣𝕖𝕠𝕟 - 𝔽𝕣𝕖𝕖)
Items:  
🌺Malborough Dress: An incredibly flammable, ruched, knee-length mermaid dress with majestic shoulder bow details. Perfect for weddings, funerals and court dates.
🌺Elvis Jumpsuit: A jumpsuit fit for the King himself! A fitted terror boasting several thousand sequins in an aggressive peacock pattern, finished with a bedazzled and bejeweled belt.
🌺Brandi Dress: A mermaid dress just as flammable as the Malborough Dress, but shinier, floor length and asymmetric. Perfect for bridesmaids you hate.
🌺Goopy Suit Jacket: Nothing screams class like a suit jacket with the sleeves cut off...except a suit jacket with the sleeves left on. Comes with a variety of t-shirt options.
🌺Kelly-Marie Hair: Is it a mullet? Is it a blowout? Is it a nest? Is it a hat? It could be a hat....You'll never know with this hair that's so high, god can sniff the hairspray. Converted from Fortnite.  Thanks to Surely-Sims for repainting the base to make it much less Fortnitey!
🌺Newport Headpiece: A beautiful and angelic, lit up headpiece, perfect for any 100 Pack Princess.
🌺Smoldering Bouquet: A delightful, blazing cigarette bouquet to light your way down the aisle. Just keep it away from that synthetic dress and that hairspray-hardened hair!
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𝔻𝕆𝕎ℕ𝕃𝕆𝔸𝔻 𝕊𝕌ℝ𝔼𝕃𝕐-𝕊𝕀𝕄𝕊' ℍ𝔸𝕃𝔽 ℍ𝔼ℝ𝔼
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Did you attend the wedding? Want to bring a health and safety lawsuit against the happy couple? Want to relive the horrors? Check out this site Anne made!
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spnmoosejerk · 1 year
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