#my sisters cool but like. im not really a priority to her i can tell and we're not close

[simpforchuchu]

Hi! I was wondering maybe some HC’s on dating Tsuji or Shibaman would be?

Tsuji | General dating hcs

a/n: Hi, im always happy to write for my fav boy 🥺💕 Hope you like it 🌸

Sorry for the grammer or spelling mistakes.English is not my main language so...

Thank you and love you 🥰

Warnings: not much just usual hnl things

 

* Although most people think of Tsuji and Shibaman as like twins, their characters are pretty different.

* Tsuji is quieter, calmer and smarter than Shiba.

* Also stronger.

* But still, I'd say he's also a bit crazy, although he usually chooses to listen everything first

* He is a very cool character with his hair style that he changes frequently and his unique style

* He has a cool vibe, he seems like a bit of a shy person for being cool

* Crazier than Shiba in fights. Doesn't get angry quickly but can be pretty tough

* He's also quite loyal. We all know that Shibaman and him were with Todoroki from the very beginning and they never left him alone.

* No matter how tough and wild he may seem, I think he is very kind hearted, soft and funny to those he loves.

* For him, I think someone between would be great, rather than someone too serious or too loud.

* Someone who is calm but knows how to have fun, is not afraid to say what she thinks, helpful and cheerful.

* I think Tsuji is quite introverted and not showing his feelings. So he'll be grateful for someone who understands him without he tells

* He's pretty big and tall, so it doesn't matter to him whether you're tall or short, fat or slim.

* I don't think he is afraid to take the first step. But I think when he likes someone, he'll hide it for a while and want to be sure.

* Like I said, he's a weird man so it's not easy to figure out who he likes or him

* Not being silly or excited around the person he likes, he is pretty cool about it

* If you confess first, that's okay too. I'm sure he'll be a little nervous if he doesn’t expect this, but he won't be rude to you.

* I think he would be quite happy with someone he believes truly loves him.

* He is a simple guy

* He will walk with his girlfriend home every night and listen to how her day was along the way.

* Gives me a very good listener vibe, even if he doesn't comment much, he's a good listener

* He's okay with physical contact, always holding his girlfriend's hand or his arm on her shoulder

* I think he's a little shy. So not a PDA fan. But he loves the sweet kisses you give when you tiptoe

* He likes to embarrass you but he doesn't go too far

* Your comfort is always his priority.

* His girlfriend is his second best friend.He wants Shibaman and her to get along well. Because Shiba is like his brother.

* I definitely think he'll introduce his girlfriend to Todoroki and Shibaman's older sister. He cares a lot about their opinion.

* I think he can cook well. Sometimes he makes you a meal and comes to your school and gives it to you.

* He really likes to make you feel like a princess because he thinks you deserve the best

* I think he feels strangely insecure ,so I feel like he'll be happy when you compliment him

* He changes his hairstyle often and can do a couple style with you if you want.

* He likes to working with music. I think he is interested in digital music. And he’ll be pretty happy teaching you how to make a new beat.

* He loves your arms wrapping around his neck when he carries you on his back.

* I don't think he'll mind if you want to put makeup on him. Someone who can do masks and makeup with you when you braid his hair

* Good with remembering the special days

* He's not very good with words but he does everything to make you feel his love.

* He usually has clothes that are oversized and pretty big for you but he finds you pretty cute when he sees you get lost in them

* He wears your hair tie on his wrist, I can imagine him playing with it or the necklace you gave him when he misses you

* Like I said, he's not the type to talk about his feelings much, but he talks with Shiba about you often.

* You changed him a little. He now thinks twice before getting into a figh

* He definitely doesn't want you to see him when he's hurt. He won't even tell you about it.

* Not someone to judge you when you cry. When he sees your eyes watering, he will hug you in his arms and quietly stroke your hair until you relax.

* Definitely big spoon, he's huge so he likes to hug you tight in his arms

* I don't think he is very knowledgeable about your period, so he often asks you what you need and wants to help.

* I don't think he will be afraid of anyone or anything easily. But he is quite afraid of harming you. That's why he always wants to protect you

* The thing he fears most is that one day he will hurt you unintentionally or you will be afraid of him. That's why he doesn't want you to see him fighting

* If you belong in their world, he never wants you to see him lose control even you are fighting beside him

* He may be cold to many people but always in his most natural way around you.

HnL taglist : @straysugzhpe @tiddly-winx  @satraninalane @thatpoindexterpixy

#high and low #high&low #high and low fic #hnl #high and low the worst #high and low the worst x #oya high #oyakoh #oya high school #high and low tsuji #tsuji x shibaman #tsuji x reader #tsuji #tsuji&shibaman #tsuji hnl #high and low the worst x tsuji

[dirt-grub]

oh is it time to listen to bizarre love triangle and feel things? i guess it is

#every time my dad enters my home he makes me sad #like just. its not that hes mean or anything its just somehow i keep hoping for literally anything but like #every interaction is so completely underwhelming and dissapointing #like fucks sake ive been watching shit on my phone very obviously so he'll ask the simplest question of hey watcha watchin #nothing. nada. threatens to get cameras in the house bc i said idk who used up the paper towels. sick of this shit #CANNOT wait to see my aunt she's always been so loving #god cant wait... i wonder if my cousins will be home from school for the break #Like Okay I could deal with being romantically broken hearted ive been surviving for over a year just fine but??? no family love hurt #like its so damn frustrating! four people in this house and not one of them couldve turned out to be emotionally sensitive??? #my sisters cool but like. im not really a priority to her i can tell and we're not close #i was the worst of the kids growing up my other siblings didnt like me #okay im starting to go down a little bit of a spiral and i think its bc the sun is setting so im gonna chillax #like urgh it so hard to describe this feeling like #explaining it to someone whos family loves them theyd be like horrified but its not that insane its like #being love blueballed like im so close to a fucking MOLECULE of serotonin and i just cant get it #like oh my god. you ALMOST asked me about my day!!!!! PLEASE god do it i need it #and also like there is a deep sadness tied to it but its one i dont understand bc #its not like i had the family love and it went away ive existed without it and i know theres something fundamentally wrong with me bc of it #but i cant understand how it would feel to have it bc ive never had it. like it would be sad but i dont know what it is im missing #anyways gonna knit #knitting solves problems #connor talks

[rosethorn108]

dickkory - blackfire visit

he is honestly shit at communication, when kory tried to forewarn him sis was in town he didnt have time if not about his crusade.  

when he see’s blackfire in “our kitchen”, kory says this what i tried to tell you .  more interesting the kory and dick non verbal communications  kory: dont even start with me

dick: seriously - you need me to be cool with this.... fine but im doing my way

dick proceeds to make it clear he’s aware that sis in law has fucked kory over, whilst ONLY addressing Kory. then his sassy face to blackfire.  all of this in a very dick way is a warning to blackfire - i know you have beef with my wife, i know who’s side i am on and i will not play nice. he will be respectful to kory’s decision for blackfire to be here but kory is his priority  

whilst dick is calling out blackfire fucking with kory  the girls faces read:  kory - really honey do you have to do this now? but yeah my boy’s not dumb blackfire - yeah brother-in-law read me out, i was going to point something out but he clearly knows shit 

off screen kory and dick - have talked about her family, about blackfire. i think for dick this is another big thing about kory and him being good partners not just romantic. she communicates, even if he doesn’t she is the active communicator.  

his partner/co-leader loops him in. it means a lot that he isnt blindsided to who blackfire is, kory has told him all the details about his sister. he can deal with the fact he wasnt aware blackfire was staying with them because he didnt listen when kory had something to tell him last night, so that ones on him.

also i dont think kory even questioned for a minute if she could bring blackfire home that would result in dick kicking blackfire out. Dick and kory are very respectful of each others needs and back each other. 

LASTLY of this kitchen scene, sis has met all the men kory lives with now. She knows whats up and which one is korys man servant to satisfy her needs. i am worried about this, but at the same time my shipper heart is like YES recognise dickkory

#dickkory #dick x kory #kory x dick #titans #titans dc #dick grayson #anna diop

[bioodorange]

||How I See The Pastas||

© @frozensriracha, for some help with visuals!!

This was originally supposed to be how they looked but I decided to go for mental aspect and explain why as well PLEASE like, reblog and share your thoughts on this in the comments or inbox

Below the desciptions are images i’ve compiled and some art (if you know the creator please tell me so i can credit them) for a visual

dont forget to like reblog and share your thoughts with me, I spent a few days on this so i’d appreciate this

Jeff the Killer

So lets start with the obvious- jeffs pasty white toothpaste lookin skin

But realistically he wouldn’t be completely covered in scars

It would be blotchy, with pink fleshy patches among the burns

He most likely has contracture scars, third degree burns that turn the skin a pale white and tighten the skin

This explains his gaunt features and skin color

Now we have to take into account the vodka that was splashed on him, he’d probably have worse burns there with exposed flesh and damaged nerves

This would result in gnarly exposed skin, a damaged scalp and maybe damage to his teeth and eyes

Realistically, Jeff wouldnt have burned off his eyelids that alone would have resulted in blindness and death

Than his smile, his signatuure mark would probably be more of a gangly bloody scar mess

Pastas heal faster and aren’t really human, he’d have to recut his smile pretty frequently making it pretty jacket up because ltes be honest hes far from clean

ANd than his hait being chard black is very unlikely because as nasty as he is he s h o w e r s

not very frequnetly given his living situation and untreated burns but people can figure out how to wash hait and not much else

also i think its funny he’d shower with a plastic bag on his face to avoid getting soap in his nasty infected scars-

His hair would probably be dry and cut unevenly, more of a dark brown color with blonde undertones

Not to mention his burned scalp, hair probably wouldn’t grow there so he’d have a cool unintentional side shave

Jeff would also be a tall individual, he cant really eat, snacking on things from his victims homes giving him a more skeletal build

His personality and mindest is about as pretty as his face- but he most likely has a very screwed up headspace

Lacking in self care, maturity and sanity its fair to say he’d be a brash and violent person

Fun Fact: While researching this I learned that some versions of the joker had facial scars in the shape of a smile

Ticci Toby

So tobys age, unlike a lot of pastas, is pretty well agreed on, 19

So unlike when he was first a proxy toby most likely has stronger facial features and facial hair

Because shaving and hygiene isn’t first priority for pastas (gross-)

He stands around 5′7 and has grayish skin

Toby i feel is picky about foods, not only is it hard for him to eat its hard for him to keep food down

He’s malnourished explaining his thin figure and grayish skin

His hait is dark brown and a curlish mess, unkempt but short so it doesn’t get in his way

I’ve always seen him with a small gap in his teeth, because I can

And since toby can’t feel shit I wouldn’t be surprised if he tried to eat rocks simply because he fuckin could

So some chipped teeth that are a bit uneven

Along with his CIPA and not eating enough Toby would bruise easily and have lots of scars, from things like cutting his finger on accident or getting mauled by a racoon

I wouldn’t be surpised if some of his joints were a bit screwed up, because whenever theyd beak or fracture he wouldn’t notice, this would probably happen a lot causing them to not heal correctly

One of tobys habits is nailbiting but he cant te;; when too far is too far

His fingers may be abit odd looking, knobby and discolored nails because of how exetreme his habit is

Would most likely have bandages around his fingers frequently to prevent the habit

So theres a lot of debate about tobys cheek was it the CIPA or the car accident, I beileve the accident because his other cheek is completely fine, theres damage from the OUTSIDE to inside and considering his sister died in the accident its unlikely he survived unscathed

Fun Fact: only a small handful of people have ever been diagnosed with CIPA, less than 500 (documented) cases around the world

Bloody Painter

So Helen is often seen as quiet emo painter boy 

but uh no <3

Personaly i beileve he suffers from narcisistic personality disorder, exetreme importance and that he is always victorious and gets what he wants

This sporuts from the constant heavy invalidation from classmates, toxic friends and neglect from his parents

He doesn’t hang out with people because he doesn’’t lie them its because they never let him in the past and he beileves he’s better than them

But this also links to deep rooted insecurity and social anxiety/being inept completely

Him being nice is basically so you like him, he wants validation amd admiration not love

Unlike the other pastas he’d be a more clean well kept one a helthy figure and some tattoos bevause he can

I beileve he lives in socity, finding hus victims in girls and men alike who fall for his charm

he uses hhis skill and ordinary appearance to blend in on the streets

From his behavior helen most likely keeps his hair a bit shorter and clean

He always looks his best

Has chapped, and picked at lips because of his anxieties

Aswell as his breakdowns- his identity is completely in his head, he is very unsure of who he is and takes the delusions in his mind as reality

Unrelated but paino fingers-

And finally in order for his art to be as perfect and amazing as him, he has to be apart of it

Thus using his own blood in his pieces and the body parts of those he admires

Covers his scars with clean bandgaes

But his paintings turn brown and dry out, he’s always in need of a new medium

Is most likely anemic from all the blood he looses and has a paler skintone

Clockwork

ahh yes finally someone who knows what self care is-

helen, i love you buddy but you need to stop 

But anyway natalie has a stronger, athletic build

She often chases her victims and gets in altercations, relying on strength most  of the time

on that same note, this would defintelty cause many scars on natalie

Wether it was a bite mark or scars from a kitchen knife, shes got lots of scars

A few even on her face

Now, for the clock in her eye that thing is like holding her skull together at this point, realistically

She is probably delicate and cares for it becaise 1) it hurts 2) if it gets screwed up that could cause a lot of problems

natalie would be a smart person, I wouldn’t be surprused if she had a few other stray stitches or bandgaes wrapped around a fresh wound

For more visual-ish things uh m u l l e t (credit: @cum-looking-sock-mf in a chat like 4 months ago)

She has one, fight me on it

but also thick and curlish hair so I also riase you

Undershave

just y e s

I can also see her getting tattoos over certain scars on her arm, just to make them look not so ugly

I feel like clockwork wishes things worked out better

Wishes for another chance but knows she’ll never get one

Thus her taking goof care of herself

Natalie throws herseld into her “work”, keeping her body in shape and killing people

Its a way to avoid her life and that it is- a huge, sad mess

Shes an outgoing impulsive individual, confident but questions her actions

She’s also unstable- protective and loyal but explosive and strong 

Jane the Killer

Jane is the final one, im sorry I couldn’t do more theres a photo limit and I wanna bash my head into the wall

Now a main different between her and jeff is she had surgery and lie treatment

Janes skin is still greatly scarred but it is greatly healed

She takes care of it and had skin grafts

Her face is disfigured, a scarred smile and burns around

But unlike Jeff she doesn’t recarve the cut so its a cleaner line and a lot healthier

Janes hair took a rather long time to grow back, but it did! 

She has a slightly long pixie cut a bit choppy but she doesn’t mind

Her wife definetely cuts it for her and you can fight me over that

I can see Jane having a lot of facial trauma, scars around her nose and cheeks

She was young when she started killing and went for the over the person, pin them down kill which didn’t work out

She switched to a silenced pistol after awhile, you know like a smart person

Janes arms and legs are in alright condition where most of the burn trauma is on her back

She has a leaner but healthy figure but like boobs-

Like clockwork and Helen she takes care of herself

She doesn’t kill as frequently, going after a few of jeffs victims before him and is of course, actively hunting him down

Her eyes are a pale green and she wears makeip to fill in her eyebrows because those bitches take a long time to grow back

fun fact: jeff has no eyebrows, fight me

#jeff the Killer #creepypasta #creepypasta headcanons #slenderverse #slenderverse headcanons #jeff the killer head canons #ticci toby headcanons #ticci toby #bloodypainter #bloodypainter headcanons #clockwork headcanons #clockwork #jane the everlasting head canons #jane the everlasting #jane the killer #jane the killer headcanons

[smugraccoon137]

Supergirl Season 2 episode 8 Medusa review part 2

If your curious part 1 was just my breakdown of Kara and Mon-els relationship that got way too long. But as always SPOILERS AND GAY THOUGHTS AHEAD

Me and kel get so excited when Lenas in an episode. Like practically giddy. I can’t help smiling when shes on screen honestly. And yes Katie McGrath is beautiful, but beyond that such a pretty smile and lovely voice. I’m sure ratings started to spike when she joined the cast. Okay enough about pretty girls on to the review 

Tipsy fucking Alex though guys I can’t get over this mess of a person. 

Alex: if I have to come out to my mom then I choose to do it drunk

Kara: no your not *yoinks beer*

Alex: wait no my coming out juice

Kara Danvers sneaky sneaker extraordinaire can totally interview Lena and find out Cadmus things without anyone knowing. The confidence this goofball has is top tier

Underrated relationship: Alex and Winn though. I really really love Winn and honestly Alex is such big sister energy to both him and Kara. 

wow Lenas pretty in the interview scene. A touch of auburn hair from the sunlight really makes this shot and we never get to see her with her hair down. Fan service honestly, or maybe she heard a certain beef cake reporter was gonna come by and wanted to dazzel her.

Lena: hair up is for business. Hair down is for flirting friendship time with Kara

Poor baby thinks she falls short nooooo. Your doing your best godamn your only like 25 jesus. Kara give her a hug she needs love and affection

Kara thinks shes being so sneaky in this interview. Such a golden retriever, bad at sneakin. As soon as she toes the line Lena catches on and kicks her out. Really good acting in the scene, the subtle change in expression to show Lenas guard raising. Good job Katie.

Real quick Lena why is your office so ugly? How do you keep it clean? You spend 99% of your days in this place and its whiter than a hospital room. I hate it. Why is your desk an oval? and why does it have a hole in it? Kara cant eat you out in secret anymore damn. 

OOHHHhhhh noooo the fucking gas bomb in the bar what the fuck. EVERYBODIES DEAD JESUS WHAT WAS THAT

Poor Mon-el. What happened at the bar was fucked up, and he feels like its fault when its obviously not.

Love that he and Kara are having bro time playing some Monopoly. Oh no not Kara asking if he likes her. Honestly thought these two had good chemistry in this scene. Im a sucker for dumbass not understanding certain words and phrases. So Kara having to reiterate her questions and finally being like “You don’t want to mate with me do you?” was super fun. Omegaverse vibes mfs. Although I am confused by mon-els reaction “I mean have you seen the kind of women I’ve been attracting?” I honestly don’t know what this means.

Kara internal reaction though: Oh thank god

Wow Kara really just has no regard for her own life, huh? she just opens the door and possibly contaminates herself. It’s good to want to help people, but love you gotta care about yourself too

Good reveal with the fortress of solitude. Oof Kara gonna feel like its her fault all those aliens died and mon-els sick. They do a really good job of showing Karas relationship with her parents through their holograms. She wants so badly to see them again, to talk to them. And she can, but not really. They just aren’t real.

Lena cattily to her mother: im used to celebrating holiday weekends alone at my desk

me to Kara: please invite her to thanksgiving

Okay so Lena being adopted is another interesting parallel to Kara. Also the fact that both Kara and Lena fall into there families shadows, and are left behhind or forgotten. Really interesting how Lena and Karas relationship is so similar to Clark and Lex’s for obvious purposes. Though the CW queer coding the fuck out of their relationship in Smallville really only adds to Supercorp fever. Its always been Homoerotic subtext Harold!

Me watching Lena and Lillian trade verbal blows: Wow ya’lls relationship is fucked up. Lex and Lionelle would spar and fence but you two are on another level jesus

oooooof that last line. 

Lena: I know your lying

Lillian: and how could you possibly know that?

Lena: because you told me you loved me. And we both know thats not true

Who wrote this jesus fuck my heart. The PAIN.

Bonus thought Lena thinks Karas smart. Goofball beefcake sneaky sneakster who doesnt know the difference between flirting and friendship is smart she thinks. I love these idiots

Wow Kara just doesn’t wait huh? Oh cadmus is going to be at LCorp? Not on my watch. Lena’s there. I know this because I tune into her heart beat just to check on her cus she likes to work late. Don’t worry Alex it’s for friendship reasons.

That LCorp security guard got princess carried for .2 seconds. Best moment of his life.

God its like dark out. Lenas working on a holiday weekend into the night. I hate this, give her friends.

Lena looks so scared when Kara gets thrown into the giant LCorp sign

And then hurt Kara looking up at her with dread.

Kara internal: fuck don’t come out now. I came here to save you

God I love the protectiveness. Its *chefs kiss*. Hank throwing the beam at Lena and Kara even in her hurt state throwing herself in front of it. Sometimes self sacrifice is gay. But how Lena looks at her after wards like “I can’t believe I’m alive. I can’t believe she chose to save me”. Met with a gruff “Get out of here!”. mm yes this is my kind of content. Fight for me.

I was robbed an aftercare scene but I doubt it will be the last time. (*COUGHS* the “im leaving” phone call *COUGHS*)

Talking about the virus Eliza: what about Lena Luthor?

Kara: What about her?! (super defensive is also a super power maam)

Winn: Luthors can be pretty good actors

Kara: No, I looked into LENAS EYES. She doesn’t know anything about cadmus or her mother

J’onzz: Would you stake Mon-els life on that?

well I guess that really puts Lena and Mon-el right next to each other in priorities huh? Which one is more important? 

Wow Lena totally has a crush on Supergirl after that. Flustered dork. 

Lena: *laughs nervously* you know that doors not really an entrance

Kara: *upsettit stone face pupper*

Lena: :,) 

Okay but the way Lena just says “Anything” all breathless and helpful when Kara says she needs her help. Shes crushin hard

Kara tells Lena her mother is in charge of Cadmus. 

Lena: >:(

Annnd the crush is dead. That did not last long. Really love that Lena has such a different relationship with Kara vs Supergirl though, good dynamic having her reactions so different. Which I believe actually relates as a Clark and Lois parallel? Seeing as how Lois has two separate relationships with Clark and Superman. 

OOf the way Lenas throat bobs with genuine sadness because who she thought Supergirl was is wrong. Shes just like the rest of them. Thinks Lena is just another crazy Luthor. It hurts

Kara: I know what its like to be disillusioned by our parents, but Im a pretty good judge of character, and you are not like your mother. She is cold and dangerous. And you are too good and too smart to follow in her path. Be your own Hero.

Wow just what a good line. They are capable of some things here and there arent they? Melissa's delivery on this is excellent. And the way Katie McGrath is able to show such depth of sadness and bitterness even from a shot of her BACK is really cool. Great acting in this scene in particular. And I can see why the “desperation to be good” is such a highlighted part of these two relationship. Its the one thing in common between Lena and Supergirl, the place where they can meet in the middle. And the way Lena looks after her as she leaves! AHHH thats the good shit, the pining

Okay big Mon-el scene in coming so if you dont want to hear my ranting skip over this part. 

Funny how as soon as Kara has this big impactful scene with Lena full of tension and emotion the writers were like: shit we almost forgot Mon-els dying. 

Kara: *staring sadly back into Lenas office kind of wanting to go back in*

Writers: *cough cough* KARA He’s DYINGGGG

Kara: Oh shit right. Mon-el Oh no. My *looks at poorly written handwriting on her palm* romantic interest?

Wow Mon-el looks like shit, poor guy. Someone swaddle this pillow princess and get him some soup.

Heres a question. Kara is visibly upset that Mon-el is dying. Is it because she’s sad that the guy shes likes is dying. Because her friend is dying? Because her father created the virus thats killing him (what the writers want us to think)? Or because no matter what Kara does the people she loves keep falling through the cracks and shes helpless to stop it?

Her parents. Clark. Her adoptive father. Now Lena. Now Mon-el. Why can’t she ever do anything? Why is it always her fault? This poor kid has some deep seeded abandonment issues

Mon-el: you know you look beautiful with the weight of all these worlds on your shoulders.

I do remember my reaction here, cus I thought this was a weird line. A line that was obviously meant to be romantic and complimentary, but it felt unsettled in my stomach. Coming back and watching the scene it sits even more uncomfortably there. He obviously means well, but this line is kind of just shitty. Its a very selfish and unthoughtful thing to say to someone. 

Kara’s entire fucking life has revolved around other people and making sure they are happy and taken care of. But having “failed” at such a young age to do the impossible things asked of her (carrying on Kryptons legacy, raising Clark) she overcompensates. Any normal person would just make their life revolve around their family and friends, not healthy but it works. But Kara feels responsibility over an entire world of lost people and lives. So the amount she overcompensates is ungodly. She does have the weight of worlds on her shoulders. This is not a joke or hyperbole. Its just her life. And thats so fucking shitty. And to have someone actually see that and acknowledge it. To make it a reality so to speak. Then to have them say “yeah you look good like this” while you’re a shaking Atlas being crushed. It is just a little too much isn’t it? That pain to have someone see you finally, and then completely miss the point. For them to go “oh wow your so strong. your so brave” instead of “let me help you. you shouldn’t have to do this at all, forget by yourself. But now I am here”. 

I imagine this was the scene that crowned my darling himbo boy Mon-Hell? Which is so unfortunate. I hope Im wrong, but I feel that his character might just end up a big missed opportunity

I want everyone to know that me and Kel screamed through the entire enxt few seconds of the scene. We knew the kiss was coming from how they were building it up. But god was it painful, especially for it to be delivered after a line like THAT. But yeah very loud angry screaming

Also not to be that bitch but Kara and Mon-els scene was a total of 1:53 RT, and Kara and Lenas ran at a 1:57 RT. Just sayin...

No Lena don’t be evil thats too sexy...

Okay but the way that Lena just tricks Lillian is so good. Shes so clever. And added bonus she makes her ask for her help, which is nice actually. Lillian's obvious vice is weakness and that is often shown in embarrassment. A woman like this asking for help borders that line of weakness and its nice to see on such a dislikable character. Lena didn’t just get what she wanted she got a point over her mother.

Lena looks good in the purple coat. Repeat she is pretty

Love the mental chess game between Lena and Lillian. Lena offering help right off the bat and giving her the isotope free of charge. And then Lillian making Lena launch the virus to prove herself. Good stuff.

Kara appears: don’t do it Lena!

Lena: why not? im a luthor

Okay so obviously Lena switched the Isotope and the Virus won’t work. But thats what makes this line so perfect. Throwing it back in Supergirls face. Like “Yeah, Im a luthor. And Ill show you what im capable of.” But instead of mass death and destruction Lena saves the day. She saved thousands of lives, and its because shes a Luthor that she was able to do that. Really nice way to full circle that 

Wow Lillian really just starts booking it without Lena, huh? bitch

I really love the scene of the virus falling all around National City. The choice of an orangish snow falling was a really really good one. Paired with some excellent music for the mid season finale.

Its sad but I do love Hank just being ready and at peace with death. Im sure he misses his wife and daughters. 

Okay but Lena calling the cops is tea. Send your mom to jail honey. 

So we’re really not gonna talk about how Lena saved everyones asses? Like don’t you think Supergirl would want to talk to the woman that A) kind of tricked her, and B) saved National City. Thats just what makes sense??? But no we’re going to ignore that the DEO is a kind of shit at their job sometimes. And that the woman that they were accusing of having a part to play in all the xenophobic shit is the one who did their job. BY HER SELF. 

Okay rant over. This was a long one review dear god. Really really good episode though. I enjoyed rewatching all the scenes even if it was a mixed bag of feelings. Thanks for reading hope you enjoyed all the screaming!

#supergirl #supercorp #supergirl review #episode review #supergirl episode review #cw #supergays #kara #kara danvers #kara zor el #mon-el #Mike mathews #lena luthor #lena #season 2 #season 2 episode review #text #textpost #sneaky sneakster #clever lady in a purple coat #sick puppy dog says some questionable things #gay thoughts #too many to count #wanna do a supercorp parallel essay at some point #maybe after ive watched more #Hope everyones enjoying the reviews #Kel always proof reads for me #get you a man that screams with you when the forced love interest is about to kiss the main character

[goat-goth]

Hi, you said essay on the not-love Victor and Elizabeth have?? I am fully invested, tell me EVERYTHING.

Im glad you’re curious!!! content warning for misogyny and arranged marriage

Ok here we go. 

So to preface I am not going to use Victor (or Elizabeth’s) queer coding as a justification because while it is heavy as an osmium brick, it can still technically be dismissed as reading through a lens that would discredit my perception of the relationship between Victor Frankenstein and Elizabeth Lavenza. I would also like to mention that this is based on my reading of specifically the 1831 version of Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus which was written by Mary Shelley.

   Cool so the book begins with Victor explaining his life story, from the beginning, to a stranger named Robert Walton. He starts by explaining how his parents met and got married (which is its own whole can of problematique worms) and then moving on to explain how Elizabeth was adopted. In this version of the story they are not biologically related but are raised together as siblings and call each other ‘cousin’. I think we can agree that they very much consider each other close family. I think it's also important to note that when Victor was first introduced to Elizabeth she was presented to him as a gift and object ‘future trophy wife’ by his mother. As a kid he didn't interpret this as romantic but literal and just kind of accepted it as fact. 

    Years later their mother, Caroline, falls ill. She calls Victor and Elizabeth to see her on her deathbed and tells them, in no uncertain terms, that it is her dying wish for them to get married and that it is Elizabeth's job to become a parental figure to the other young Frankenstein's, William and Earnest.

  They're still young though and Victor is sent off to school at Ingolstadt while Elizabeth stays home. While Victor is away we learn that Elizabeth has Grown Up and learned how to put her own feelings away to Be Strong for her family. It is made pretty clear that she now sees bottling her own feelings and doing whatever is deemed necessary to help the family to be her Responsibility as a mother figure and as a daughter. 

   While that is happening, Victor is out at Ingolstadt building his creature. To briefly summarize, he makes his creature, is struck by what he has done once faced with a living breathing Dude making baby noises at him at like 1 am (estimate), flees leaving his creature to wander out of the building, comes back and falls into a very rough sickness from sleep deprivation and general neglect + trauma, and is brought back to health by his good bro Henry Clerval. Henry gives him a letter from his family, who he all together stopped writing Months Ago, telling him to come back home at once because his brother was murdered.

    Elizabeth is Very upset seeing a kid she was a mother figure to was killed and her friend Justine Moritz is being wrongly convicted, and Victor, thinking that his creature did it (based on no evidence btw) is Consumed with guilt and offers No comfort or explanation. A bit later after that Victor's father approaches him and goes, ‘you know, everyone's really really sad that your little brother was murdered. You know what would cheer them up???? Marrying your sister.’ and then Victor just kinda goes ‘ …. You're right, I need space though. First, can I take a two year trip out of the country? I promise I'll do it right after.’ and his father says yeah that would be cool, and Henry decides to go with him. 

Victor, the way I see it, has two pretty big motives for leaving in this situation.

 His creature has approached him demanding a wife, so he wants to get away so he can isolate and do that. This is the bigger and more pressing motive as well as victor’s priority.

       2.

He is literally being cornered and old that he could make everything better by marrying Elizabeth who, yes he is fond of as family, but who he has never once shown romantic interest in beyond ‘mom says that this is how it works and that I should think of you as an object so I guess that's fine with me’ 

    This leaves us wondering how Elizabeth is feeling? We know that the last time tragedy hit, her response was to bottle up her feelings and do what she thought best for the family. You could argue that she did love Victor based on how she speaks to and of him but you have to understand that quite literally from day one she has been told over and over that her purpose is to love Victor and that it would make her parents happy if she loved Victor and that her mother, who she was close to, laid on her deathbed and told her that her dying wish was that she would marry her brother, Victor. From her perspective, logically the only next step would be to make everyone happy again by marrying her brother, right? It doesn't matter that he didn't write to her when he was away and was completely emotionally unavailable once he got back right? This Has to be the next step for her. 

    And so they do get married but no, I don't think there was any romantic intention. I think it was two people who felt obligated to their family and in Elizabeth's case, subconsciously sacrificial, and in Victors case, too preoccupied with his murder-child and horrendous mental health to think about what He wants personally.

#long post #tw mysogyny #tw arranged marriage #tw objectification #ask to tag #tw dysfunctional family #frankenstein #victor frankenstein #elizabeth lavenza #frankenstein essay #essay is a generous word for this #if you want a formal essay with citations you can pay me :) #my poor little ghost boy #ask

[spahhzy]

No title: Chapter 4. Bridge to nowhere.

*Dimension 63 OG*

"Oh boy...Salem was early she really wasn't even supposed to arrive till AFTER the battle..."

.

.

.

"Jaune Arc?" Asked Cinder but all she got was a warm tingly feeling in her grimm arm.

"Yes Jaune Arc, bring him to me THAT is your main priority everything else is secondary" Salem said to her but to which Cinder was a bit confused.

Why did she need that weakling for?

"Master...I am confused why do you want me to prioritize that weakling above the relic...above the winter maiden!" Cinder said to her but all she got was silence.

"He is hardly worth the trouble expending energy for and as sad and pathetic as he is-ack" Cinder couldn't continue her tirade on Jaune as she felt her Grimm hand move and put a hand around her neck.

"What I want should be of no concern to you Cinder; YOU will do what I desire and not to further question me again...do we have an understanding?" Cinder couldn't see it but she could damn well feel her masters murderous gaze even with the Grimm hand suffocating her.

Cinder weakly nodded as she felt her grimm hand release her throat allowing the fall Maiden to gasp for air.

"Good...proceed with your plan...I will join you shortly" Join?

"*cough* join master?" Cinder said feebly and she felt the her grimm hand go warm and tingly again.

"Yes of course...as soon as I am able you'll know of my arrival" and with that the looming presence vanished.

.

.

.

"Like I said Salem was never supposed to return much less talk to Cinder again till after the battle...yet somehow she does"

"So we're still missing... about three more of the team members before we can get back to fixing what's broken and if im not mistaken...a certain gremlin should be plopping through the door soon.."

" anywho uh where was I? Oh right!"

.

.

.

Cinder revealed only the part where she and Neo had managed to find out what Ruby and Co. where doing thanks to the Lamp.

She did not however tell her about the Salem part.

While she was busy talking, Neo was walking up behind Ruby under the disguise of an Mantle civilian with Hush seemingly ready to strike and finally end the silver eyed life.

Or was...

"Ruby!"

Yang had rushed in for her baby sister and took the strike meant for Ruby.

It shattered her aura but worse of all...she fell over the bridge.

.

.

.

"You know the bridge that Ambrosius said NOT to fall over...numpties"

"Sorry sorry...its just...it was hard to keep track of folk when they dissappear into a fucking pocket dimension...or maybe was it hell?"

"No...thats not hell...so was it a pocket dimension?...fuck I'm getting a headache"

.

.

.

"Yang!" Screamed Blake seeing her partner vanish into thin air she tried to jump after her but was held back by Weiss.

Enraged she turned towards Neo who was currently engaged with Ruby.

She ran towards the two throwing Gambol at Neo restraining her arm before coming down with a slash only for Neo to shatter and reappear still fighting Ruby.

Meanwhile Cinder hovered in the air as she threw fire slashes of her sword at Weiss who used her glyphs to block and dodge them.

"Why'd you have to come back!?" Came the voice of Penny who was flying in the air towards Cinder.

"Penny no!" Shouted Weiss as Penny flew rapidly towards Cinder.

"Why didn't you learn you lesson!" She said before punching Cinder sending the fall Maiden flying back.

"Oh Penny...I did" Cinder said as Penny looked back behind her to her friends and mantle citizens in concern which gave an opening as Cinder swiped at her with fire.

The battle continued with both Maidens flying in the air hit after hit on each other with Cinder gaining ground, it wasn't until a black Glyph by Weiss pulled Cinder in distracting her.

Annoyed Cinder used her Grimm arm and spawned in sharp projectiles, Weiss standing at the top near one of the gateways saw that citizens were still coming through she casted a glyph just as Cinder launched the projectiles blocking a few but some went in other directions and a few even through the gateway.

Jaune whom was helping with the evacuation effort in Mantle turned around as screams went out as the spike came through the gate luckily no one was injured though Jaune was concerned. Something was very very wrong.

.

.

.

"Oh indeed something was wrong and not because of Cinder"

.

.

.

Jaune had made sure everyone was safe and not injured, once he was sure no harm came to mantle people, he turned to the gateway and narrowed his eyes.

He turned back to the crowd.

"I'm going in, use the other portal down the line" he pointed to another portal few feet away to which everyone nodded and started running to it.

Turning back, Jaune made his was forward stopping right at the entrance, breathing in and out and steeling his nerves Jaune finally moved right through.

As he was propelled through Jaune felt a sudden headache coming on and before he could blink the entrance to the other side was upon him.

Screaming Jaune went through the other portal expecting to be at the bridge way that lead to vacuo.

So when Jaune made it through the gateway he was surprised to not be standing on golden bridges leading to one big doorway, but it was a room!

Why was he here?...where ever here was!

He felt his head throb again too which he dropped to one knee.

"Woooow! You live here in this castle that's so cool Auntie!" Widening his eyes he turned around to see the boy from his last delusion and that same woman was their as well.

"It is pretty cool isn't it?" The woman chuckled ad she walked around while the young blonde boy just looked around amazed and excited. He stopped at the window before he let out another 'Wooow'.

Jaune stood up from one knee and walked towards the window and all he saw was a vast rocky terrain with purple crystals erected from the ground and the skies were a dark red.

"Hey Auntie...you sure mom and dad won't be mad you took me to this castle?" Asked the little boy to which the woman put a hand on his head and rubbed his hair.

"Will be back before they realize anything little knight...oh...would you like to see something interesting?"

"Oooh would I!" His eyes lit up with excitement and the woman just chucked before pointing a her pale white finger to a black tar like pit outside.

Grimm started to rise out of the tar pit.

"Ooooooh is that how Shadow was created?" At the mention of the word 'Shadow' a little grimm creature, looking almost like an Owl popped out from the boys hoodie and hooted happily at both him and the lady.

"Hmm yes that is his origin but you gave him life little knight" she said as she scratched the owls head gently.

"Coooool!" Before wandering around the room some more.

"Hey Auntie?" The boy said aloud as the pale lady turned around.

"Hmm?"

"Don't you get lonely up here?"

As soon as the boy said that Jaune felt another throb occur as he shit his eyes and opened them back up to reveal...he was no longer in a castle...

"I'm back at this field again...when will the delusion end!" He said to himself looking around but it was all the same as last time, just grass and a faraway mountain range.

"Com- ho-" more unintelligible dribble kept whispering into his ear as his head still kept throbbing.

"I just wanna go back! My friends need me!" He screamed out pacing around in the field while holding his aching head but eventually after futile attempts to find somewhat of an exit combined with the ever going throbbing of his head he stopped and dropped to his knees clutching at the pain he was enduring.

It felt like his skull was splitting in two!

Was he really going to die from a damn headache and in a delusion no less!?

"-ome hom-" and that babbling wasn't helping either!

Everything was going a mile-a-minute....what the hell was goi-

A hand on his shoulder stopped his thoughts suddenly the whispers were gone and the headache went away.

Jaune raised his head and turned around all he saw was a gentle smile and crimson eyes.

"Come home Jaune"

"Jaune!"

Jaune shaking his head only saw his feet tettering on the edge of the bridgeway looking behind him he saw Nora holding his right arm to prevent him from falling forward into the abyss.

"Are you alright Jaune?" Nora asked in concern Jaune just stepped back a little unsure of what the hell was happening, he looked to Nora with a smile.

"I'm fine...it was just the motion-sickness...those crazy doors haha" he said not even so sure of himself.

"Are you sure cause as soon as you passed through you stopped like a rock and then moved forward almost walking off the path" Nora said to which Jaune hugged his teammate.

"I'm fine Nora I promise...what's happened?" Jaune said as he released Nora from the hug and Nora sighed before pointing to the two maidens currently doing battle in the sky.

"Cinder"

" alright...priority one remains the same" Jaune told her as Nora just stared at the two maidens before going off to get the citizens to Vacuo.

Jaune turned his head looking at the fall Maiden and just for a brief moment, he wanted nothing more then to forgo mantle and attack the source fall this...pain and suffering.

Shaking his head he went to get everyone to safety.

.

.

.

"What...comes after well...Cinder managed to knock down both Weiss and Penny, shatter their auras and was going to kill Weiss but Blake managed to intervene"

"The main thing is Ruby, Blake and Neo all fell as in over the bridge fell. Neo bless the little gremlin should have really seen Cinders betrayal coming...I mean come on!"

"'Sigh'...now we get to...that event"

.

.

.

Where did everything go wrong?

Yang, Blake and Ruby had all disappeared off the edge all thanks to Neo and Cinder...and it just Penny and Weiss left...

Dropping down from atop the bridge above Cinder Jaune came down to which Cinder blocked but did not expect to be propelled back by the shield.

She skidded along the platform as Jaune, Penny and Weiss all held out their weapons at her.

"Ahh so there's the knight" Cinder said as Jaune narrowed his eyes at her preparing for whatever attack she was planning until her Grimm arm started flailing about before stopping abruptly, Cinder smiled cruelly.

"She's coming"

Before sending every one backwards from a fire blast and summoning two swords she chucked one at Weiss and one at Jaune before sending a two fire walls splitting Penny up from Weiss and him.

Jaune could only stare in horror as the grimm hand flew through the fire and using its claws...dug itself into penny's chest.

Cinder was trying to steal the maidens power but before she could get any further Weiss came in and continued her attack.

The claws retracted and Penny fell helplessly to the ground bleeding...dying.

"Penny!" Jaune ran in his hands already glowing brilliant gold.

"H-hold on my semblance..."

"No" no? What did she mean by no?

"C-come on theirs no time to be funny" Jaune still had his hands glowing but Penny still didn't use her aura.

"Theirs not enough time...to heal me" Jaune shook his head at her reasoning.

"Weiss is giving us time! Y-you can't let me just let you bleed to death!" He said to her dreading what she was trying to do.

"We can't let her get the staff and the Maiden power..." she reached out her hand weakly and touched Jaunes glowing hand.

"But...their is something you can do" Jaune just looked at his sword.

"I-I don't know where the others are...but like I said Weiss can give us time...theirs no need for-"

"Please let me choose this one thing...trust me" she touched Crocea Mors while smiling weakly.

"Y-y-your asking me to-to " he stammered looking back and forth between his sword and her.

"I'm sorry...I know it's...hard but...please" she begged and Jaune felt tears begin to prick at his eyes.

"B-b-but what about everyone; Ruby, Weiss, Winter everyone...Your father!?" He told her but Penny just shed some tears and shook her head.

"I...I have...no regrets...please we are running out of time" as she said that a scream from Weiss came as Cinder hit her causing Weiss to stumble back.

(Please play World at War 'Vendetta theme')

Jaune held out his sword in front of him the reflection of his eyes staring right back at him. Swallowing the heavy lump in his throat his right hand started shaking as he brought the sword closer to Penny, who was just smiling at him.

"Thank you"

Cinder had gained ground against Weiss and was about to strike down the Schnee before a pained cry rang out.

Jaune with tears in his eyes took the sword out from Penny's chest, his tears fell to the floor along with Penny's blood. Jaune just looked at his sword, one half remained clean showing his teary left blue eye but his right eye was red from...

.

.

.

"I always said...two people died that day Penny and a piece of Jaune died too"

.

.

.

"You!" Screeched Cinder as she summoned her swords, yet Jaune paid no mind as he was so fixated on the puddle of blood pooling around his boots

"My..my god..what have I...what have I done!?" He said to no one but himself.

"Where did it go!?" She questioned in rage as she flew at him but still he said nothing.

"I promised my master I would bring you to her unharmed but unfortunately that won't be that case!" She slashed down her sword downward at him but as she did Jaune just raised his shield still looking at the blood before raising his head towards Cinder.

Cinder looked on in shock as it wasn't a pair of Blue eyes looking at her but one eye, the right eyes,was red.

Red like her masters. Like the grimm. Angry and with malice.

Gritting her teeth she used her grimm arm to bring down the other sword to which Jaune raised Crocea Mors to intercept it...but to Jaunes shock and despair...Cinder's blade cleaved through Crocea Mors.

His right eye flickered back to blue as he just looked at the sword before being knocked down.

"Once more...where did it go?!" She asked before being blasted by energy.

.

.

.

"Penny had managed to transfer the power of the winter maiden to Winter Schnee herself...allowing her to get an edge in defeating ironwood"

.

.

.

A shriek came though as grimm started coming through one of the portals.

on the outside in Mantle, Salem walked towards one of the portals as she used her grimm for eyes to see what was on the other side.

She caught sight of Cinder fighting a women with white hair, which must be the older schnee sibling but that mattered little.

"Where are you my little knight?..." She said before a feeling of joy spread through her as she watched a man with gold hair carry the second youngest of the schnee family.

Now with confirmation that Jaune was their she pressed forward and passed through the gateway...or at least tried to as the portal evaporated in front of her.

"No!"

She looked around as each individual portal kept disappearing.

"No no no no no" The grimm still had sight on Jaune but things were going wrong, her grim were...were falling?

"The pathways are disappearing...but that means..." If Jaune were to fall into the abyss...

She still had sight on him as long as she can reach a portal and get a hold of him all will be okay...all will be fi-

Until the grimm that was finally keeping sight of him finally too fell off and disappeared as well.

"No!" She shouted in despair she couldn't lost him, not Jaune not her s-

Cinder!

She was there!

Priority one bring Jaune Arc to her!

She wouldn't fail her!

Oh she is back! Which means that she must have completed her plan! Which means!

With hope, Salem blasted through to the staff of creation where the last remaining portal was.

.

.

.

"Now I can understand you confusion what is Salem's dedication to Jaune well...you see its a bit complicated...well not really but really does that make alot of sense?"

.

.

.

Winter could only scream in despair as Weiss and Jaune were blown up and tossed into the air, Weiss sailed over the bridge while Jaune slid across the floor his Aura shattering. Winter desperately tried to reach her younger sister who kept falling more and more into the darkness before finally disappearing on a flurry of lights.

Cinder stood triumphantly hold the staff before leaving through the portal that lead to the staff's vault.

Winter floated back up with tears in her eyes, but burned holes in the back of Cinders head as she saw the fall Maiden leave. Swearing vengeance upon her.

"Winter we have to go now!" Said Jaune but Winter kept looking at where Cinder left. Unmoving. Maiden powers still active.

"Winter!" Jaune said as everything started to disappear.

The Maiden powers flared up and Winter flew off towards the door to Vacuo, and Jaune was gonna follow suit...but when Jaune turned to it.. the bridge had already disappeared.

.

.

.

"Now originally Jaune was supposed to follow Winter through the same portal but fail and to dissappear...well that...does happen but..."

.

.

.

Salem had arrived just as Cinder popped through the portal staring at her unimpressed on the outside, but hopeful on the inside. It seemed also that the good general was alive and well...alive enough that is.

But her hope only died as it was just HER that only came through.

"Master I did it...I got the relic...though I could not get the maid-"

"Where's Jaune Arc?" What?

Cinder stepped back for a minute...as her mind processed her question and she paled.

She forgot the main objective...no no her main objective was the staff and Maiden powers.

"Cinder where is Jaune Arc?" Salem asked her voice calm and cold but on the inside Salem was panicking.

"I...I am sorry master by the time I had gotten the staff...the gateways were disappearing" Cinder said to her hoping her master would by her excuse. A blur flew right by her as Salem peered through the portal and gasped at what she saw.

On the other side Jaune needed to do something, the bridge to Vacuo was gone and Winter had all but flown in it but to her credit she did try to get him but he didn't want her to risk it, He'd find a way to Vacuo.

But right now he needed to get out of here, so following around winding paths their was one portal that remained open.

The one Cinder left through.

Shit. If he didn't get captured he would most likely be killed. Dammit it's a lose lose situation all around!

He still kept running finally on the main bridge to that portal.

Just keep running Jaune!

Keep running!

The gateway was insight!

He could jump right through it!

And jump he did as the bridge beneath his feet disappeared leaving Jaune flying in the air towards the gate.

A pale white hand reached out the gate trying desperately to reach out to him, much to Jaune shock , but he too tried to reach out as well.

Salem had reached a hand out of the other side of the portal after seeing Jaune run towards the portal in hopes to catch and pull him back and she was close she had Jaune on her fingertips!

She'd have her little knight back!

Only to her horror as the portal disappeared the shocked face of Jaune Arc was the last thing she saw before he too fell into the darkness and disappeared in a flurry of lights.

Salem looked down at her right hand shakily as Cinder came to her masters aid but was ignored .

Gone.

Her knight.

Her little knight gone just like that...taken from her just like everything else.

The pain came back.

The pain of losing a child.

Had once again returned.

Salem wailed in despair.

.

.

.

" it is wonky but everything is taking its natural course, everything is so far linear as it was supposed to follow"

#rwby jaune #rwby salem #winter #penny polendina #neopolitian (rwby)

[the118firefam]

Despair (15×18) Episode Rant :

SPOILERS SPOILERS

- absolutely loved how dean just immediately jumped in to protect jack, "we're not giving up on you" it proves how whatever dean was doing, he was clouded by his hate of chuck and he just let himself be manipulated by that. plus, obviously, how he hurt billie just because she wanted to take jack away. i don't know why people aren't talking about how this was a clear change in the dynamic between the two (or maybe a restoring of what had been blurred?)

- SAM AND DEAN'S CONVERSATION in the bunker was so well-written and im so glad dean accepted what he did was wrong and how he let his hatred and anger control him and that was not cool (? idk which word to use). and how sam was still not ready to give up his hope - they had to find another way.

- i could see such a clear and distinct difference between this charlie and our charlie. like, this charlie was comparitively very closed-off and you could see how the brother-sister dynamic did not exist between her and the winchesters. i thought we were gonna get our charlie back, too? but i still do love au!charlie, and im glad we got to see more of her character and personality in this episode.

- cas and jack's conversation 🥺 it was p e r f e c t. the whole "we love you for you" has been long time coming for each of tfw2.0 and im really glad at least jack got to hear it because you could see in that see that he's just a fucking kid and he has to feel this huge burden and piles of guilt of how he destroyed everything and how he doesn't know what things mean for him anymore. cas was such a supportive father in that scene and as i said, the speech was perfect. jack crying and saying "im scared, cas" was gut-wrenching i am so sad for my baby

- my heart just stopped when eileen stopped typing. that was the moment i started sobbing. sam was so, so happy and he just lost it, in the blink of an eye. the broken look in his eyes when he found her phone and the lil crack in his voice, oh my god it killed me. i literally just want sam to scream for ten minutes, i wanna see his rage and his anger and his frustration because he didn't ask for this and he's honestly so, so fucking tired.

on a side note, i really, really feel for sam in these last couple of episodes. he knew it might be the only chance to kill chuck but he knew it would destroy everything they've formed, the family, the home, everything and so he made a choice - the heart choice, but the correct one. i am so heartbroken for sam, equally as much as for dean and cas and i really hope he gets the happiness he deserves.

- the hug between sam and dean and sam's lil breaths because yes, dean's here, he's still here focus on him and then the way dean cupped his face to convey that very emotion. it just showed that whatever happens, he's still sammy's big brother and he's going to protect him.

- "let's go reap a reaper" omg you dramatic bitch, but that line was so powerful. goosebumps. and cas' "i'll go with you, dean" and dean's little nod (this is the first time dean's agreed isn't it?)

- donna hascum you adorable and precious bean. her "anything for you" and the completely earnest and genuine tone. she's my favorite wayward sister and she's so underrated

- sam knows he can't do much right now but he can make his kid feel better. and that's exactly what he did by asking him to drive – it gave jack some purpose, at least for a while, which he believed was lost forever. it made him feel useful. the fact that sam understands and looks out for jack even in the midst of the literal end is so beautiful

- bobby was the light of this episode, "i bought a bucket, just in case" lmao bobby 😂 i love you whatta mood having peeing as the priority

- the scene where everyone started disappearing made my heart hurt, sam's face broke me fuck, you can see the literal moment when he realises what is happening it's so heartbreaking

- ok what was that scene with donna and jack and the plant? why was jack so shocked that the plant died, what was happening there? someone help me out!

- now let's move to dean and cas.

the line "stop killing my people!" hit me so hard oh fuck

dean's lil protective stance for cas, wholesome 🥺

billie was a bamf. iknow they were the villain but d a m n the power

"i've got you" akshhsjsjsjsjsksksks

now the confession. oh my god. fuck. chills. gave me so many chills. i was just hugging my laptop and sobbing. cas saying "i cared about the whole because you cared" and someone finally telling dean that he's driven by love and not anger was SO NEEDED "you changed me, dean" (the parallels during this entire episode 😩😩😩) and dean's reactions oh fuck. you could see the changes so clearly idk why people thought jensen's reaction was not a reaction. dean is an emotionally repressed man who is told by his best friend that he made a deal that could kill him and then proceeds to talk about happiness which sounds awful much like a goodbye and then tells him he's in love with him. you really think dean would've processed all of that information in the span of three minutes? i wouldn't have processed it– i didn't process it.

- THE HANDPRINT 😭😭😭😭

- dean ignoring sam's calls and just sobbing was so raw and the fact that they didn't add any music to it was a nice call because it just made the scene more real.

- EARTH IS EMPTY WHAT? everyone's gone?????? what the fuck!!!!! it's only jack, sam and dean now? and michael AKDHJSJSJSJ

speight and berens did a good job

#spn #supernatural #15×18 #spn spoilers #despair #castiel #deancas #sam winchester #dean winchester #jack kline #misha collins #jared padalecki #jensen ackles #alex calvert

[acciostorian]

mae reads the kane chronicles: the serpent’s shadow the red pyramid

(aka we see mae go through many emotions in the space of 2-3 days)

holy fuck ive only got to the contents and the chapters have those classic pjo click bait titles i’m so happy rn

WAIT IM SUCH A FUCKING IDIOT- the serpent’s shadow is the THIRD BOOK. uh-oh i almost fucked this whole series over lemme change the book real quick....

i’m literally on the first page and i’ve already been sent on a mission, so the kanes are THOSE bitches

SADIE AND KANE ARE BRITISH???? omg yes please

THEYRE IN LONDON MY HOME

never fucking mind they’re from LA

oh wait sadie was raised as a british kid. that’s very sexy of her.

carter be like, “you wouldn’t be interested in my dad’s lectures.” SHUT UP CARTER I WANNA KNOW MORE ABOUT EGYPTIAN PUNISHMENT

so sadie was raised in east london???? THATS SO SEXC BECAUSE ME TOO BOO

sadie has a british accent. a b r i t i s h a c c e n t.

FIT

“six years in london and she thinks she’s james bond” LMAO

sadie’s so emo/alt i love it. does rick always write his characters like this??

sadie pronounces it “mum” and carter says “mom”

it’s so refreshing to read mum ngl

sadie said bloke omg

i’m feeling carter’s pain. little sisters are shits and honestly sadie has the same vibes as my little sister and me and carter are quite similar. i hate this.

oh wow they really said sadie was too white for their family...

sadie did not HESITATE to be like, “yeah dad we’ll lock that guy in his office. mint.”

sadie telling the story is an experience

sadie said “maths” and “mates” in the same sentence. this is some refreshing shit.

sadie’s friends saying carter is hot is fucking hilarious. like it’s a classic piss-off to thirst over your mate’s sibling

THEYRE GETTING DEPORTED????

LMAO AMOS WAS LIKE, “yeah we don’t talk about manhattan. they’ve got their own problems. *cough percy jackson cough*”

i read thoth the god of knowledge as thot the god of knowledge

carter is right, amos has undeniable swag

philip of macedonia. the crocodile. cool.

i love how the greeks and romans be like “if we don’t honour the gods we’ll get SLAUGHTERED” and the egyptians are like “you know what? fuck the gods me and my homies hate the gods”

sadie kane would stab you in a back alley and dance to mcr as you bled to death and carter kane would take you to a museum, tell you everything about everything and then commit a terrorist attack

amos really went “don’t touch anything, the cats in charge and peace out bitches” and then fucking jumped off the balcony of his five storey mansion

sadie made that door go BANG

that fucking clay statue came to life and not one of them screamed. I WOULD SHIT MYSELF.

i’m giggling, all the greek/roman gods have really long/scary/cool sounding names like tartarus and chaos and nyx but the evilest guy in egyptian myth is called set. S E T.

please make muffin some crazy badass animal like crookshanks or swiftwind.

WHO DARES THROW HANDS WITH PHILIP?????

THE SHABTI FUCKING STOLE AN ARTEFACT THATS AMAZING

i love carter sm, even tho he’s scared as fuck he still picked up that ancient sword and was like “ig i’ll bash some heads in whilst sadie holds the cat”

MUFFIN JUST TURNED INTO SOME WARRIOR CAT LADY AND SHE INSTANTLY GAVE ME CATRA VIBES

every cat in new york is helping them

bast jacked that car like it was nobody’s business

i used to think the greek gods were stupid for having so many things to control but honestly the egyptians are taking the piss, do you really need a whole scorpion goddess?

the kane siblings are written so well. like i actually BELIEVE they’re siblings

i think carters gonna become a comfort character now... like i relate on another level. little siblings always take the spot light and you have to act level headed and calm because the younger ones start shit and you’re like “i gotta be the good one because my family would fall to shit if i didn’t behave.” so big kudos to carter, i love you

so carter’s a king huh? I DIDNT NEED YOU TO TELL ME THAT RICK I ALREADY KNEW HE WAS

zia was like “king tut?? ugh he was such a boy, there were waaaaay cooler tombs out there x x”

i read “nectanebo II” as “nintendo II” and i was like ??? when was that a thing

i drinking camomile tea whilst reading this and i feel so peaceful uwu

sadie really can do magic like THAT like bitch be like “i just copied what zia did and yeah it worked lol”

okay so i’m sorta feeling bad about sadies life rn but i’m still very pro carter

set’s laugh makes me uncomfortable. because when most villains laugh it’s usually described like “their laugh was like a knife, cold and sharp. i hates it.” but when sadie discribed set’s laugh she was like “it was warm and friendly. beautiful.” LIKE AAAA THATS A RED LIGHT

set: the god of theatre because gods dam is he a good actor

sadie saw some hot emo guy and was like “omg marry me”

iskandar be like “lmao imma speak in alexandria greek all the time but this girl bouta die? i switch to perfect english for dramatic effect”

woooOooaaaah SLOW DOWN THERE BUDDY, tongue tattoos???

zia: you guys will probably suck at this at first but oh well we all can’t be great

sadie: *makes fire first time* wooosh

sadie and kane: *doing cool shit* me and my tea: sluuuurrrp

bast is so sassy i love it

me when it’s a sadie chapter: okay ig :/

me when it’s a carter chapter: HOLY SHIT CARTER HEY OMG YOURE DOING CRAZY STUFF???? COOL. i love you.

bast: so yeah, you’d be stupid to teleport to paris, this is desjardin’s home territory

sadie and kane, lying in the streets of paris: oh cool cool

sadie: like i might die rn but i don’t care, as long as it doesn’t get filmed and put in youtube, that would be embarrassing

like ???? sis get your priorities together smh

sadie: *sees hot emo guy again in her spirit adventure, he hints that’s he’s dead or something*

also sadie: so will i see you again?

“no, an egyptian drink. you’ve heard of hot chocolate? this is rather like hot vanilla.” dam now i want some.

carter is an amazing older brother. he’s written perfectly and he’s a great character to relate to for me. even though sadie can make his blood boil, he dropped everything to calm her down when she was panicking about not being able to change back from a bird. i too have to do that for my little sister - sadie and ava are ironically the same age - so i find that very comforting that there is someone like me to relate to!

‘a businessman with a rolling suitcase was waiting by the doors. his eyes widened when he saw me. i must’ve looked pretty strange — a tall black kid in dirty, ragged egyptian clothes, with a weird box tucked under one arm and a bird of prey perched on the other.

‘“how’s it going?” i said. “i’ll take the stairs.” he hurried off.’ LMAO THIS IS WHY CARTER BABY I LOVE YOU

highkey pissed that carters like “i’m always edgy around the police. once i turned eleven they started giving me the Look. when it doesn’t happen it’s always a pleasant surprise.” LIKE FUCK NO HE SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO WALK AROUND UNHASSLED WHATS WRONG WITH HIM

lmao bast be like “imma jump off this national monument. see ya at the airport in my finest clothes and jewellery x”

FOOD UPDATE: i’m eating a chocolate covered waffles and having some tea and i feel so happy rn sorry i know you don’t care but like aaaaaaa

bast called carter her little tomcat and my heart exploded

bast really likes convertibles huh

thoth: i hate rereading my old writing, my present self would never write like this now!! SOMEONE GET ME A RED PEN

are they... are they going to dig up elvis presley?

might put some elvis in for this part, y’know, to set the mood?

i cant stop reading ‘thoth’ as thot even though i know how to pronounce it

the captain with a axe for a head: my name is bloodstained battle axe 😸

yuh bast did some shit ...

imma stop now because spoilers, GO READ THE KANE CHRONICLES THEY ARE THE MOST UNDERRATED RIORDANVERSE BOOKS X X

#the kane chronicles #tkc #carter kane #sadie kane #tkc bast #mae waffles #rick riordan #riordanverse #did someone say queued?

[razanartuk]

about me tag game thing

i was tagged by the wonderful @nothingunrealistic! thank you very much ily <3

under read more bc i was not capable of keeping my answers brief this time around

why did you choose your url?

this...was supposed to be a short explanation but it turned into quite a tale so strap in i guess because we are going on a ride. back in 2017 i was just getting into musical theatre rp and i was still feeling too shy to really talk to anyone ooc so i would just wait for people i wanted to interact with to post starter calls so i could just do things in character with them the easy way. So i did this with my friend cam, who posted a starter for me using a lyric from If I Could Tell Her. she linked the song so i could listen to it, so i did and i went ‘wait a minute, is that Ben Platt from Pitch Perfect?? (and other things too, but i only recognized his voice at the time bc of the acappella girl movies)’ and yes it certainly was.

i had zero idea what the plot of Dear Evan Hansen was about at that point, and for some reason based off Just That One Song and the poster art of who i assumed was Some Guy in a Polo Shirt i started to think it was about some jock guy who broke his arm and had an emo/goth friend who had either died or gone missing under mysterious circumstances. also i intuited that Evan had a crush on his friend’s sister but he couldn’t tell her that directly or his emo friend would kick his ass. so i was like mostly wrong, but a little bit right.

oh and i knew jared and alana were characters from the show bc cam said that they were i think?? but i had no idea what their role was. so after listening to if i could tell her, i listened to good for you and all i really got out of that was that evan the apparently not-jock guy had done...something... that really hurt jared and alana. and at that point i finally decided to go look up a plot synopsis and i found out i was waaay off base. but honestly this is why cast recordings should include scene dialogue in the songs bc otherwise you just get soundtracks like dear evan hansen where the songs have like. zero context. we really just go from waving through a window to for forever to sincerely me without like. any reason as to what is happening huh. It’s honestly not a surprise anymore that all those people on twitter had no idea the plot isn’t about gay teenagers.

anyways. cam was writing jared and she made a post at one point about wishing somebody would write alana and i was like ‘oh i could do that!’ (after i had actually Seen a bootleg and finally knew what the whole story was, of course) so i made a multimuse rp blog featuring alana beck, nabulungi hatimbi, chloe valentine and some other characters, and cam started sharing her headcanons with me that alana is trans, jared and alana were close friends when they were little kids but they sort of drifted apart as they got older and their priorities in life changed, jared was the first person alana came out to when she realized she’s trans, etc.

one night i started talking about wanting to pick a more theatre-relevant url for my blog and trans-[character name] urls were getting pretty popular, and at least 3 of the friends i made through rp had changed theirs to coordinating trans-[character name] and i think it was cam suggested i should make mine be trans-alana so i did. eventually i realized the unhyphenated version was available so i changed it to transalana with no hyphen and i have lived here ever since. sometimes i think about changing it but i feel like transalana has become a part of My Brand and i am not so great with coming up with cool names for things.

any side blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them

in theory, i have sideblogs... i don’t really use them, but of the ones i do have, there is:

emsbookblog - this was supposed to be where i would post excerpts of the book that i’m working on, but i think i did that maybe one time roughly 2 years ago and then promptly forgot about it/got nervous about my writing and was scared to share anything else. the rest of the stuff that is there is assorted writing tips. i don’t really know what to do with it now. i probably should post all my little thoughts about em and anita and caleb there instead of infodumping on my main from time to time, but if i do that then i have to promo a sideblog and direct people over to it which is always annoying to me when i could just do it on this blog which is much easier

dearnovelhansen - this is basically no longer used, but was a sideblog i made specifically to talk/complain about the novel adaptation of Dear Evan Hansen which was about 3 years ago?? maybe? i can’t be trusted to understand the passage of time. but to summarize: i thought it was an honor just to have the story be made more accessible since many of us couldn’t see the stage performance, but i hated a lot of the creative liberties that were taken. my main grumbles are that everyone who isn’t evan or connor is done so dirty in the novel. connor’s still kind of done dirty in the book, but not as much as like. heidi, alana, jared, and zoe are.

horseisle3 - this one was meant to be a place where i could just enthusiastically post screenshots from hi3, but instead it turned into a blog where i occasionally reblog other players’ hi3 content and bitch about how bad the game admins are bc hi3 is the tumblr famous (infamous?) homophobic horse game. the game where it was once okay to call your club store the gulag bc according to their head of hr, ‘it’s just a russian word for prison’ but you can’t say ‘im gay’ without somebody accusing you of corrupting young children who play the game. unfortunately there aren’t very many good interactive horse games out there, so this one is still about as good as it gets. it’s either that or star stable and i don’t care about star stable.

mlaenie - i’ve had this url saved for i don’t even know how long. way way way back in the day when i wanted to escape from the clutches of the onceler fandom i abandoned my first blog where i basically had an alter ego i guess?? and i decided to just be myself on the new blog. i don’t fully remember who came up with it, but one of my sister’s mutuals suggested that if you scrambled the letters in your name you could come up with aesthetic-looking urls. so lauren’s url became lrauen, and to match with her mine became mlaenie, which i abandoned on tumblr after about a year or so? but have continued to use as my main username on twitter, reddit, youtube, xbox, steam, and discord. i barely ever use any of these accounts aside from twitter, steam, and xbox, but yeah. so i’ve decided to try and turn this empty sideblog into a place for video game thoughts maybe. we’ll see how long it lasts this time around.

how long have you been on tumblr?

i made my first tumblr account in december of 2010, but i didn’t understand how to use it at all or how to customize my theme to look cool and unique so i quickly abandoned it. i made a new account in september of 2011 after some kids at school and my sister told me i should and i have been trapped here with varying degrees of activity/inactivity ever since. i have witnessed the rise and fall of the lorax/onceler fandom, hyperfocused on lord of the rings, star wars and back to the future all at the same time, and for the past 4 years i’ve mostly been a musical theatre blog with assorted other fandom stuff mixed in. i feel i have seen everything and nothing, but mostly i’m just tired and bored.

do you have a queue tag?

no bc i don’t use a queue. i’ve tried using it in the past but i irrationally feel pressured to sustain a coherent theme to queued posts and my brain simply does not vibe with that so i just don’t use it at all anymore. Instead i instantly reblog or post several unrelated thoughts in succession and then don’t post again at all for 3 days. the way god intended

why did you start your blog in the first place?

my very first blog was intended to be a place for me to post all of my petz 5 animals’ profile info, but i didn’t have any understanding of how coding worked at all and i don’t think i really wanted to learn, either. so it just sat there, unused. my second attempt at blogging was as a classic rock fandom person, so as you can probably imagine i was pretty pretentious about ‘modern pop’ vs the beatles, the rolling stones, the who, the monkees, and so on. and then i slowly devolved into a lorax fandom blog and everything went to shit so i made a new blog for lord of the rings/the hobbit which later evolved to include star wars and back to the future blogging. and then for the past 4 years i’ve been mainly a musical theatre blog with other random stuff i like thrown haphazardly into the pot. wonderful.

why did you choose your icon/pfp?

because my url is transalana and two of my most prominent lgbt headcanons are that alana beck is trans and a lesbian. i gotta be shouting out @kinqmike though bc she’s the one i adopted the trans alana beck headcanon from in the first place!

why did you choose your header?

in 2017 i was hyperfixating on Dear Evan Hansen (and Be More Chill, but there weren’t many gif-able videos then considering it ran for a month in New Jersey in 2015 and there was only one yet-to-resurface 35 minute bootleg) so i just grabbed a random gif off of google. i really should get to replacing it with a new header of my own though. i just don’t know what i should do for it.

what’s your post with the most notes?

i have lost track of how many notes it has (i think it’s somewhere around 200 now?) but when Will Roland and George Salazar performed Two Player Game on Good Morning America, i posted a screencap of their Jeremy and Michael along with that one quiz answer meme that says stuff like ‘i want to see it grow up healthy’. i didn’t tag it with any ship names or anything because i was anxious about having it show up in the tags, but somebody who reblogged it from me did tag it as boyf riends and i firmly believe it took off because of that. i don’t think i make posts that are relevant enough to amass thousands of notes, even by accident. which is probably a good thing bc if i did i would have to block so many of them.

how many followers do you have?

on this blog? 175 according to the counter. how many of those are still real people and how many are bots and abandoned accounts? i have no idea.

how many people do you follow?

i try to keep it somewhere around 200. i think i’m sitting at 180 right now but i kind of need to go through and clear out the really inactive blogs.

have you made a shitpost?

let’s think about this for a second. i’ve been on tumblr for nearly 10 years. you might even be able to say i’ve made more than one. they’re just not what you would call...popular shitposts.

how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ post?

that stuff makes me so incredibly anxious that i have to fight the urge to want to yeet my laptop or mobile device through the closest window whenever i read it, so i try very hard to avoid any sort of ‘if you don’t reblog this, i’m judging you’ posts. i find them very manipulative and not particularly helpful

do you like tag games?

yeah babey!! i just frequently forget to do them, but please know that if you have ever tagged me in a tag game i felt incredibly touched by the gesture and the @mention even if i completely forgot to do the thing afterward

do you like ask games?

i do! but also rip to literally anyone who has ever sent me an ask meme bc it takes me so long to answer them. i’m still working on a micro fic prompt from a few weeks ago. also, horrified to realized that it has in fact been a few weeks and not 3 days anymore.

which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

i don’t know that any are tumblr famous as a whole. but probably @neverheardnothing

do you have a crush on a mutual?

in any sort of romantic connotation? no. not that i’m aware of. there are mutuals that i have friend crushes on where i want to be friends with them but i get so anxious when it comes to meeting new people that usually nothing ever comes of it. i’m really not good at small talk or other casual conversation either which, as you may or may not be able to imagine, sucks. i just wanna skip over all of the awkward introductions and ‘hey how are you, how is life, what are you doing with yourself?’ stuff. not because i don’t care about it. i do, but i think most of my friends/the people i want to be my friends are also depressed and anxious so asking these basic questions about life tends to uh. make us all nervous. and i don’t do much with my life so i always have the most boring answers anyways.

i’m not tagging anyone officially bc the @ thing has just completely given up on me at this point, but if you want to do it, go for it. and then say i tagged you so i can read it c:

#mel.rtf #abt me #tag games

[brewing-mischief]

You know I'd really like to read a deh fanfiction where Connor and Evan run into each other really hard, get knocked unconscious by the force and then wake up in the hospital in each other's bodies.

The doctor's say they both have amnesia since they're all "who are you people" to their 'families' and cant seem to remember their names.

"What's your name"

"Evan...Hansen?

"Evan is fine, he came in with you and is talking to a doctor right now. What is YOUR name?"

"Ummm....?????"

The boys figure out they switched bodies but dont say anything to avoid looking more crazy to their families. I think itd be cool to read about how both of them get a little taste of what they need.

Connor gets to go to therapy (Dr.S is assuming that the amnesia is the reason Evan has gained a different personality. Thinking that since he has forgotten his trama his brain has built a new personality off of different core memories creating an Evan that is less full of anxiety? Idk I'm not a psychologist. Im thinking later Connor would slip up revelling to much of his actual life which leads Dr.S to believe that Evan has DID and that Connor is a new personality formed from the incident. He would think Connor's memories are actually a creation of a world Evan would have liked. His parents still being together-even though he knows it wouldn't work out in the long run which caused the 'dream' to go dark. Connor is like "I have no idea what you're talking about but if your chill with dealing with me I'm good" Dr.S continues to treat Connor as though 'Evan's fantasy' AKA Connor's real life is reality because he believes that this 'fantasy' is holding Evan dormant.) <- [This of course is just DR.S's psychological interpretation. Realty is that its just a bodyswap. However if you like that theory of Connor actually being a personality of Evan go right ahead a write that. I'm not stopping you]

Connor also gets to eat normal food like Pizza and tacos and anything that isnt some weird Vegan fat-free mess Cynthia makes

Connor gets he's space. Hes not constantly beaten down on by his parents for every step he takes. Heidi is incredibly chill. She's very worried about his well being but shes not invasive like his parents are who just want to tear him down. She continues to reiterate that she loves and supports him which allows Connor to slowly drop his walls.

With these supports in place Connor slowly begins to stop smoking/cutting (I have a feeling he may have also stopped at the begining because he respects the fact that this isnt his body and doesnt want to damage it but it is HARD) however most of his needs to cut/smoke are in his head. Which is awful because addiction is hard to quit. But he doesnt have to deal with physical withdrawal symptoms. (Headaches, nausea ect.) Which helps

Connor also stands up to Jared real quick so Jared learns to get his priorities straight or he finds himself left behind

Evan on the other hand has a whole family unit. He finally gets attention 24/7 which is great. Larry is a little harsh with him because hes Connor but it's less than usually since 'Connor' has no idea what hes talking about and doesnt give him a fight anymore. Cynthia is constantly hovering over him with scrapbooks to jog his memory. Zoe just tries to keep her distance but shes always in the background just staring at him trying to figure him out. The whole family is serriously just thrown off about how nice/figitty 'Connor' is. He's tripping over his words and apologizing as much as he breathes.

Evan does go through Connor's physical withdrawal because Evan is not about smoking. He suffers. The first day he keeps craving something but doesnt know what. He tells Cybthia who tries to help him match/satisfy it but nothing works. The next couple of dayd hes serriously sick/agitated. That's when Larry realised 'Connor' is going through withdrawls and is like "oh wow. Ok" and he starts being nicer. He is still somewhat stuck in the "what does it matter, Connor is going to go back to normal soon enough and it wont matter what he does right now" but Evan is being the perfect son so he cant really stay angry. He actually begins to bond with him again.

Evan just gets attention. He gets to sit down and have dinner and talk with people. He gets that family support hes been craving. He doesnt have to worry about being a financial burden because the Murphys are loaded

Evan would probably try to get close to Zoe but she pushes him away like nobody's business. Eventually she would cave and mabye do his nails or something but something about it feels off. Connor likes doing his nails and rn 'Connor ' seems to be very against the idea because "nail polish is for girls, what if people see it and think I'm a freak ect." So now shes even more suspicious about this whole amnesia thing. It wouldn't change her brother this much, would it?

Idk how Evan would think about everyone at school. Because they see him, they notice his existence but it's mostly out of fear and hatred. I feel like that would leave him a little bit panicked.

Anyway, after a week or two Connor goes over to his house to visit Evan and see how everything is being managed. Zoe sneaks a peek on them and notices something. Shes met Evan once or twice before so she didnt really make the connection until now when she can see them both. But 'Connor' is behaving like Evan, and 'Evan' is acting like Connor. Something is definitely off. She confronts them and without much of an argument to steer her off course they eventually give in and tell her what has been going on. She joins their team of figuring out what happened, how to go back and later in the story where the climax drama happens IF they should go back.

The IF drama is basically both parties know they have to go back but also dont want to....

It's just, Connor likes the freedom and trust Heidi gives him. He misses his sister but he also whitnessed his parents loving Evan more than they ever did to him. And that makes him furious because that means he was/will never be good enough for them. He takes this out on Evan since he knows Evan likes his family. He feels like Evan stole them from him even though he knows that's not true.

Evan wants his mom back. When he goes to visit 'Evan' hes a complete stranger to her and that hurts like hell. Plus He doesnt like being hated at school and furthermore he needs his therapy again. But the Murphy family is just so perfect. He has a father figure and a Mom whose always around and Zoe (who has become less of a crush through the experience and more a friend) and he doesnt have to listen to Jared being mean to him/claim they only hang out for car insurance. He has a strong support unit here and hes become more confident from the love they feed him.

So it's just this complicated mess of emotions.

I dont know how it would wrap up since they both have to go back but I think itd be really great to see these boys get better because their circumstances/situations switch. After all Tragedy is only a tragedy becuase the hero is in the wrong story. (I think I read that in a post talking about how Macbeth and Hamelt would have ended happily if only the two main characters were in each others stories since Macbeth would have killed the uncle real quick well Hamelt would have stopped to think instead of jumping in feet first. They made a good point and I want to apply that theory to this story)

Anyway those are my thoughts. Tag me if you write it

#deh #dear evan hansen #connor murphy #evan hansen #zoey murphy #tragedy #body swap #therapy #give them therapy #give them love #my writing #improve their circumstances #change #analysis #heidi hansen #heidi hansen is mom #Cynthia tries #Larry has to work out his own issues

[risrielthron]

Who We Were

This took a good long while because there was a retcon in November of 2015 that kinda forced Risri into hiatus. When I brought her back for the paper in 2016, some details changed but still this was an eye-opening exercise of how I’ve grown as both an RPer and a writer. Anything that does not have brackets is the same.

Take a trip down memory lane, pull up the oldest ‘about’ post you can find for your character, and annotate what has changed and what has stayed the same in {Curly brackets}. 

(I borrowed this from @alyssa-ward​​ because what a cool exercise)

Originally posted October 4, 2015

Character’s full name: Risri Elthron Reason or meaning of name:  combination of Mother's best friend's name (still alive) and her mother's sister who died - Rislana (best friend) and Kiari (sister). The Elthron family have mostly played a back seat in the history of the Kaldorei. {Both of these origins have kind of changed. Risri’s name became a place that her parents named her after, something that was important to her father’s family in an RP with her aunt. The last name Elthron was chosen by Risri during her exile her original family name is Kal’serrar.} Character’s nickname:  Ris Reason for nickname: just a short form of Risri

Physical appearance

Age: 403 {she has aged 1 rl year each year since 2015 she is currently 408 years old} How old does he/she appear: to a human about 20ish {I actually think now she probably seems a little older to people) Weight: We don't ask ladies this! Though she looks healthy and toned. {I figure she’s whatever the average weight is for female elves} Height: Average for a Kaldorei {This has changed a bit. I have her just a tad shorter than Dragaur in human form so she’s 6’2” which apparently is short for an elf} Body build: She's not a body builder but her activities keep her in shape. Shape of face: Typical Kaldorei {She did not have a face claim at the time nor did she have art.  Her face looks like this art the most.}

Eye color: White {I list it as silver now} Glasses or contacts: none Skin tone: light purplish Distinguishing marks: Claw tattoo (gained during her Druid initiation ceremony) Hair color: Purple Type of hair: Long Hairstyle: up in a ponytail or straight down her back {when I first made Risri I had her in the pigtail hair style. I quickly didnt like how it looks and changed it to the long style she sports now. It has not changed since} Voice: typically soft {I imagine her voice and accent a bit like Gal Gadot’s natural voice} Overall attractiveness: again not really caught up in her appearance so someone may need to tell her and even then she will more than likely blush and stammer a thank you. {This has changed so so much from when I first created her.  She knows she is lovely and she will probably think you want something from her if you flatter her appearance.} Physical disabilities: none Usual fashion of dress: For events: dresses...she has discovered she likes pretty pretty dresses.  For class: simple black pants and a simple shirt  {So this too has changed from when I first created her.  She aims for comfort and style. She most often will be found in one of these} Favorite outfit: Dresses, she found a lovely gold and white dress that has become her favorite {I dont even know what dress this was but Im sure it was something from my early days on wra-I would say her favorite outfit is probably one of the ones above} Jewelry or accessories: She wears a button on a string around her neck. She fondles it every so often. {The button on a string has actually moved to her bag, she now sports a ruby necklace from Dragaur, her bracelet with several charms on it, and always has her camera}

Personality

Alignment: Good {I think I would classify Risri now as more neutral these days} Good personality traits: Loves animals, children, books, meeting new people (even though she can be shy, she enjoys it), giving, loyal  {This is all true except for the shyness, I don’t actually rp Risri as shy. She may be standoffish but thats cause IRL I am shy but Risri most definitely has no fear of talking to people} Bad personality traits: shyness can sometimes stop her from joining in, when she is caught up in research she may ignore others not to be hurtful she just gets caught up  {I think this one goes with the other, as for bad traits today, I usually say she can be stuck in her ways at times and can be over protective} Mood character is most often in: happy {I would say this is still true but she’s had her share of pain} Sense of humor:  silly things make her laugh {Not so much silly things but she definitely has a more snarky is funny sense of humor} Character’s greatest joy in life: running in the forest as a cat {Taking pictures and being a druid are equal} Character’s greatest fear: the death of her mother {This has actually come out in RP as a fear of mind control.  She would fear the death of her mother but mind control tops it.} Why?  Her mother and her are very close (unusual for Kaldorei, as they grow up communally typically), travelling with her mother in her formative years they relied upon each other What single event would most throw this character’s life into complete turmoil? Ris would be devastated if something happened to her mother  {I think the death of Latilda, and then when she thought Dragaur was dead, and subsequently the death of Suzi in the office are three of the most profound things that made Risri change some. Her fel contamination would come a close fourth Currently, if something was to really happen to Dragaur, Sky, or Selise it would mess up Risri for a while} Character is most at ease when: Researching {Funnily enough this might still be true, but I would say taking pictures is probably more} Most ill at ease when: at war {This is true, but as she found out both at Darkshore and recently when there are forsaken involved she has no hesitation in killing.} Enraged when: witnessing senseless destruction of sacred places or artifacts {I completely forgot that I chose that, but I would say it has not changed. She also does not stand for people she cares about being hurt, this one is tricky though and I often have to tame it down because of interactions with others.} Depressed or sad when:  she is a pretty positive individual, depression and sadness are fleeting if they happen at all. {This has matured over time. She gets very introspective at times and definitely will seek alone time when she is sad.} Priorities: Learn about as many cultures as she can, current focus is Treants. {So long ago… Her priorities currently are her studio, Dragaur, and helping the Kaldorei still homeless.} Life philosophy: Learn, Learn, Learn then share it all!  {This was definitely written back in my Stormwind University days. Her philosophy “Be kind. It’s worthwhile to make an effort to learn about other people and figure out what you might have in common with them.”} Character’s soft spot: her Sprite Darter "Flutter" {Also a certain worgen} Is this soft spot obvious to others? Sometimes {while I dont play it up too much she is very attached to Flutter. As for the worgen, yes when they are together it is clear she has a soft spot for the gruff one} Greatest strength: Passion for learning {This is probably still true but I would say she also is a pretty good photographer and a loyal friend.} Greatest vulnerability or weakness:  Naivety of how the world really works even though she has travelled the two main continents extensively she has been sheltered by her mother. {This was one of the things I retconned out of her when I brought her back for the paper. Risri may be unknowing of some human interactions but she is far from naive in most cases.} Biggest regret: That one time at band camp...seriously she is young so right now she doesn't have one but this may play into her development and story later. {HUGE change here... in fleshing her out in RP the biggest regret is and always will be the incident that forced her out of the Sentinels but not the results because it let her become a druid so its a double edged regret} Minor regret: she forgot to tell her mom about the time she ...oh that might not be appropriate for here {Again a change that came about from RP, that she threatened Dragaur with turning him in. She would never do that and she said it in a moment of frustration with him during a fight. It hurt them both too much.} Biggest accomplishment: coming soon  {Running the paper. Opening her studio. either} Minor accomplishment: joining the University! {so many things, her writings, some of her photographs, saving people at Teldrassil, helping the Kaldorei in Stormwind.} Past failures he/she would be embarrassed to have people know about: she was almost not able to become a druid...story for another time {This also changed with the retcon, but I would say the time she spent before coming to Stormwind would be something she would not want others to know about and will probably not talk about to anyone.} Why?  She loves being a druid so not being one… {I have thoughts about what she was doing but its not fleshed out. Maybe someday and I can revisit this.} Character’s darkest secret: She is a pretty open book. Maybe later she will have a "dark" secret.  {So this dark secret is the fact that she killed 10 Sentinels. That also came with the revamp.} Does anyone else know?  {Several people.}

Goals

Drives and motivations: Curiosity unusual for a Kaldorei and need to have answers to questions  { I would say this is somewhat still there and aided her when she was a reporter, but her drives and motivations are deeper now and the result of RP. She wants to make amends and sees her work with the Kaldorei refugees as part of that.} Immediate goals: Make friends with the treant she met at the Grove of Ancients {Keep her business running, aid the Kaldorei} Long term goals: Become an expert in as many cultures as she can {Live} How the character plans to accomplish these goals: Locate writings and interviewing others, spending time with treants ((her contact will be sending her around Azeroth and Draenor to meet with others)) {So her plan for her immediate goals are tied together. She takes a good portion of her profits from the studio and the two books she’s published to fund her relief efforts} How other characters will be affected: may be pestered for any little detail they have about treants  {Most of the people she interacts with in RP would not be impacted.}

Past

Hometown: Darnassus  {God I was such a noob.  Feralas is her home.} Type of childhood: travelled both continents with her mother {so noob. She spent her youth in Feralas, Ashenvale, and Darkshore.} Pets: Sprite Darter named Flutter and a curious little white kitten {I retconned the kitten. Its only Flutter} First memory: Leaves above her (could be why she is fascinated with the treants...) {I think I’ll leave this one.} Most important childhood memory: Her and her mother on a ship talking into the night {This can stay too} Why?  The closeness she felt to her mother {Because of this reason}

Present

Current location: Elwynn Forest, Jazimina Amberstill's "Ranch" {Stormwind City, either Dragaur’s apartment or her studio} Currently living with: Jazimina Amberstill and Ritti {Dragaur} Pets: Sprite Darter "Flutter" Religion: Follower of Elune {no change, add wild gods} Occupation: Researcher {Photographer} Finances: moderate {no change though she has more wealth than she lets on}

Family

Mother:  Kahrysta Elthron  {Oh wow I totally changed her mother’s name.. Its Alistra Kal’serrar } Relationship with her: good {excellent} Father: Brezlin Elthron Relationship with him: vague memories, he died when she was still a child Siblings: none Relationship with them: Spouse: none Relationship with him/her: Children: none {though she briefly adopted Ritti before they found the gnome’s family} Relationship with them: Other important family members: Mother's best friend Rislana is like an aunt  {her aunt Tara, cousins, and another aunt I dont have a name for.}

Favorites

Color: Green and Purple {blues could be added} Least favorite color: Orange {sorry Drag, but I dont think its true anymore} Music: any Food: Chocolate Cookies {See answer here} Literature: Any Form of entertainment: stories {plays, dances could be added} Expressions: "Indeed!" {Its not often I get to use it but I do like it} Mode of transportation: Winterspring Frostsaber, given to her by her mother when she hit adulthood (about 50 years ago) or flight form  {Flight form.  The frostsaber went away in the retcon} Most prized possession: her journal {Camera}

Habits

Hobbies: Dabbles in alchemy {more than dabbles now} Plays a musical instrument? No Plays a sport: no How he/she would spend a rainy day: reading a book, any book {taking pictures} Spending habits: thrifty {for herself this is probably true, for others she can be extravagant} Smokes: no  Drinks: not normally  {no change, but she will drink} Other drugs: no What does he/she do too much of? Read  {Take pictures} What does he/she do too little of?  Socialize just for fun {This is probably more true now since giving up the paper} Extremely skilled at:  Keeping a team alive when faced with challenges when exploring  {Photography, writing could be added} Extremely unskilled at:  a lot of things but she does hate cooking {LIES...I retconned this. She loves to cook. I don’t know...but I am sure there is something. It would probably be something she doesn’t do and has no desire to do.} Nervous tics: not sure someone may need to point that out to her  {She plays with the bracelet on her wrist when she’s nervous. } Usual body posture: relaxed and happy Mannerisms: polite {extremely so} Peculiarities: …  {hmm, I am sure there are some that have manifested over the five years I’ve been RPing her. Perhaps how she will always address a human as their full name unless she has been asked not to and will still use Ms. Mrs. Miss. Mr. with that name unless she feels close to you.}

Traits

Optimist or pessimist: Optimist Introvert or extrovert: Introvert until she gets to know you then she might not be quiet {I would say shes more mixed now.} Daredevil or cautious?: A little of both Logical or emotional: Emotional  {probably more mixed now though she can be emotional she just normally doesn’t let it show unless she is very comfortable with you} Disorderly and messy or methodical and neat: somewhere in between, depends on how wrapped up she is in her research but she does have a habit of cleaning up if there is a mess  { I would say she is very neat. Sky drives her crazy.} Prefers working or relaxing:  working {definitely would say this is still true} Confident or unsure of himself/herself: unsure internally, others probably see her as confident  {a little of this still lingers but unless you are close to her you wont see it} Animal lover: indeed

Self-Perception

How he/she feels about himself/herself: an introvert who is more bookish than social  {This is still kinda true.} One word the character would use to describe self: shy  {Quiet} One paragraph description of how the character would describe self: A passionate learner and studier of peoples, loves animals, enjoys outdoors, and exploring is exciting.  {A memory keeper, lover of animals and the outdoors, her passion for photography as a way to preserve memories is high.} What does the character consider his/her best personality trait? her passion for learning  {her compassion for others} What does the character consider his/her worst personality trait? her shyness ((its all in her head too, she really can be quite un-shy when meeting new races or investigating something though in social entertainment type situations she is at a loss)) {so retconned, she would say her possessiveness when it comes to the people she cares about.} What does the character consider his/her best physical characteristic? She is unaware of her appearance most of the time  {She likes her hair.} What does the character consider his/her worst physical characteristic? She hates her feet...not really  {I’ll keep this if only cause I dont know} How does the character think others perceive him/her: She sometimes thinks too much about this and sometimes it doesn't bother her at all  {She is very conscious of being a Kaldorei business woman in a human society. She strives to show that her people are trustworthy and kind.} What would the character most like to change about himself/herself: her shyness  {Since I retconned the shyness...I don’t know...Risri believes she can be a better person but its something that you work on each day.} 

Relationships with others

Opinion of other people in general: opportunity to learn  {She is still curious about others and likes people watching. She thinks most people are good at heart.} Does the character hide his/her true opinions and emotions from others: hmm, I think this will depend upon the relationship and situation  {Oh most definitely, this was honed during her time as a reporter where she hid a lot of her thoughts about things.} Person character most hates: no one (yet)  {Elyza Morrowbranch} Best friend(s): her mother / Jazi  {Sky Stoneseat} Love interest(s): none (yet)  {Dragaur} Person character goes to for advice: her mother / Dean Crowelley  { Dragaur, Sky, Selise} Person character feels responsible for or takes care of: Ritti  {Dragaur, Sky } Person character feels shy or awkward around: cute boys...oh ok anyone in an entertainment social situation, when she is meeting others for what she calls "research" she emulates her mother's ambassador ways as much as possible  {So such a noob.  She really doesn’t except older Kaldorei...she worries what they know of her past.} Person character openly admires: her mother and Rislana Silverwind  {Who is Rislana Silverwind omg I totally forgot this was a thing. Will have to think of someone else as Rislana is a Draenei now.  As for who she admires?  Her mother, Selise, Sky, Eilithe, Feyawen, Anegorn, and a few others.} Person character secretly admires: Dean Crowelley {I don’t think there is anyone she secretly admires, if she likes you, you know.} Most important person in character’s life before story starts: her mother  After story starts:  Ritti, Jazi, and the university faculty  {Dragaur, Sky, Selise}

If you made it here thanks for looking at the changes of Risri over the course of the last five years.  Its been a long, strange, crazy trip but I wouldn’t change much about it. If you want to do this, I encourage you to! And tag me cause I wanna read!

#risri

[punkscowardschampions]

Astrid & Libi

Astrid: ....

Astrid: wHY Is JaKe doiNG tHat?

Astrid: itS beInG weIRd

Libi: Doing what, Astie?

Libi: He is a bit weird, isn’t he

Astrid: 👀 @ u 💬 @ u

Libi: Oh, well we’re both going to be in the school play that Mr Mullan is putting on

Libi: He’s going to be my husband/partner in crime 💥🔫🔫

Astrid: ⛔⛔⛔⛔

Astrid: yoUrE noT FRiENdS

Astrid: doEsNT mR mULLaN knOw??

Libi: I’ll have to do really good acting and pretend we are

Libi: Were first years allowed to audition?

Astrid: [lists everything vaguely shady that Libi has ever said about Jake like but you said… so good luck lol]

Astrid: ....

Astrid: i DoNt KnOW

Libi: Okay, I’ll have to work hard 😅 He seems like he really wants to do the play so hopefully he will work hard too

Libi: Oh that’s okay, it takes time to settle in doesn’t it

Libi: How are you liking your lessons?

Astrid: hmmMMMm

Astrid: HOPEfullY PeOPLe wonT bE 😢 oR 😡

Astrid: iT tAkEs tiME TO settLE iN ✅☑️

Astrid: I liKe hIStoRY & rE

Astrid: [cue a long long ramble about everything she’s learnt and is interested in within both of those subjects that I won’t subject us to even though I too like both of those]

Libi: I hope not

Libi: 😂 or 😁 or both

Libi: That’s really cool, you’ve learnt so much already

Libi: [At least she did all this last year so can talk about it too and indulge and talk about what she’s doing within those subjects this year]

Astrid: BObBy wilL BE

Astrid: 😢 oR 😡 BOTH thAT heS nOT yOUR paRTnER in CRImE

Astrid: [you’ll be so excited to learn some of that shit next year bab & have probably gone off fall down a rabbit hole/nerd out about all of that so there will be a pause for ages lol]

Libi: Bobby does have a part though, so we still get to rehearse and do all the fun stuff together 🙂

Astrid: 🙃

Astrid: DoEs Mr mULlAn kNOw iVe 👀 A dEaD boDy? iS HE gonNa 💬 @ ME?

Astrid: ❓🤔

Libi: Oh I don’t think he’ll do that, I think he’d see that as rude, he wouldn’t want to upset you, and talking about it might upset you

Libi: But if you did want to tell him anything, maybe you could tell me and I’ll tell him for you

Astrid: 👌 THat maKeS SenSE

Astrid: bUt i wONT tEll YoU iN cASE iT MAKES yoU uPSEt

Libi: That’s nice of you, Astie

Libi: But you can talk to me about it, if you wanna, I won’t tell you to stop

Libi: And I might get bits of it

Astrid: sOme SUBjeCTs yoUrE nOT ALlowed TO 💬 abOUT unLeSs tHE oTHeR perSon brINgs theM Up 1St

Astrid: whOs DeAD & wHo pEopLe waNNA 💋

Libi: Who 💬 those rules?

Libi: I’ll have to remember them 😏

Astrid: mRs FifIELd eveRy tIMe we Do SOCiaL SkilLS

Astrid: rEpeaTING it Will HelP yOU remEMbER

Libi: I’ll give it my best shot

Libi: Though sometimes it’s very obvious who wants to 💋 who that it feels strange NOT to talk about it, doesn’t it

Astrid: 🙂 🙃

Astrid: ThATs WHAT i 💬 baCK eVerYtimE

Astrid: buT sHE doeSnt Get 😡

Libi: It’s a good point

Libi: Do you think she’d like to help with the play?

Astrid: shE doEsNT lIkE mr mULLAN

Astrid: thaTS V obVioUS

Libi: Ahh

Libi: I’m not sure of him yet, he’s okay but… I’m not sure, I guess

Astrid: he waNTS yoU to 💋 JakE In fronT oF EVERYonE & THats NOT 👌

Libi: It’ll just be pretending, I don’t have to really like him

Libi: I knew it might be a possibility of kissing anyone when I signed up, so it’s okay

Astrid: & hEs gOnNa be prEteNdinG tO nOT bE meaN But afTer the PLaY he wONT 👀 @ u 💬 @ U

Libi: Probably

Libi: But that’s okay with me

Astrid: If yoUre NOT 😢 oR 😡 its 👌 WITH me ToO

Libi: Thanks for having my back

Libi: I’m most excited about all the behind the scenes stuff

Libi: There’s lots of props and sets and costumes to make and source

Libi: We could do with your 👀 if you wanna come ‘round after school Friday

Libi: Jake won’t be there, just our friends

Astrid: 🧡 wErE FamILY & FriEnDS iVE got yoUR bacK & frONT 💛

Astrid: 😀 😃 😄 😁 😆 😅 😂 🤣

Astrid: ❓🤔 WHEReS the PLaY SET & wHEn?

Astrid: friDAY afteR scHOOl 👌 FRIday afTer scHoOL

Astrid: 🕓 🕔 🕕 🕖 🕗 🕘 🕙?

Libi: Yeah we are 💚💜

Libi: [Nerd out about the whole vibe of this play]

Libi: We’ll probably get pizza, is that good with you? Come at 4 if you want pizza but if not have your dinner then come, alright?

Astrid: [when Ro’s your mum so you love dressing up and vintage shit, she’ll just be the casual unofficial costume designer of the play for this squad tbh]

Astrid: ILL be ThERE @ 5

Libi: Sounds great 😊

Astrid: WHEn arE yoU learNING youR lines?

Libi: Weds/Fri after school, then fitting it in with homework 🤞

Astrid: iS mR MUllaN doING eVERY reheARSAL?

Libi: He’s sharing with Ms Howe, the art teacher, I think he’s doing Fridays and she’s doing Wednesdays

Libi: We’ll see how that goes

Astrid: dO yoU LiKE her?

Libi: She’s really nice, and she always listens to everyone’s decisions in 🎨 so she should be a good addition to the team, I think

Astrid: ❕ ILL tEll HeR wHAt a dEAD bODy looks lIKe ❕

Libi: It would be nice to get the makeup somewhat realistic, budget willing

Astrid: [send her some designs obvs]

Libi: Oh wow, I really like the second one, it’s really detailed but looks achievable still

Libi: We’ve got to do five murders total...I think 🤪

Libi: and they all die in different ways so there’s lots of room to play

Astrid: 5 😀 😃 😄 😁 😆 😅 😂 🤣

Astrid: THe DeTecTiVe hAS goTTa be V in LOve wiTh YoU

Astrid: iS he NicER thAN JaKE?

Libi: Yeah, that plot twist is pretty easy to spot isn’t it 😏

Libi: 👗👠💄💉🩸💋💣 that’s me

Libi: I didn’t really know much about him before, he’s a third year

Libi: but so far yeah, he seems really chill and kinda funny, so that’s good, less awkward 🤞

Astrid: is A 💋 wiTH him iN the ScripT?

Libi: Yep

Libi: Just those two, thank goodness

Astrid: gRanDMa wiLL be 😡😡😡😡😡😡

Libi: I told her I was auditioning

Libi: but that’s what I’m worried about now as well

Libi: I didn’t think I’d get this part

Libi: What do you think I should do?

Astrid: KEEp it a SURPRise

Astrid: eVERyONe LikEs sURprIsES

Astrid: She woNT gUESS YouRE 👗👠💄💉🩸💋💣

Libi: Maybe

Libi: I’m not sure nan likes surprises though

Astrid: HMMmmm

Astrid: mAyBe she woNT nOtICE the 💋

Astrid: 5 BodiEs aRE GoNNa Be LyinG on StaGE

Libi: Priorities, right 😅

Astrid: I cOULd gET heR to CloSE heR 👀 whEN I do

Astrid: ShE woULD do it wiTH mE so IM noT 😢 oR 😡

Libi: You’d do that for me?

Libi: That’s really sweet of you

Libi: But I’ll find a way to tell her, it’s okay

Libi: If she isn’t okay with it I won’t do it

Astrid: 👌 bUT IF yoU dOnt whoS yoUR UnDERSTUDY?

Libi: China O’Neill

Libi: then Beck would get to be her current role

Astrid: ⛔⛔⛔⛔

Astrid: im NOt heLPIng HER

Libi: I can’t say I blame you

Libi: It’ll be hard to be ‘best friends’ with her in the play and rehearse with her that much

Astrid: ThankFULLY YOUrE THe BesT acTresS in SchOOL

Libi: 😌

Libi: You’re so kind, I just got lucky

Libi: China really wanted my role

Astrid: iTS NoT ACTing FOR her to PLAy tHE VIllaIN its A viNTAGE drESS UP sessION

Astrid: shes MEAN EVery Day

Libi: Omg 🤭

Libi: That’s a good one

Astrid: shE mIGHt taKe weeKENDS Off i dOnt KNow her theN

Libi: I’ve seen her on a few

Libi: Doesn’t seem like she does

Astrid: yOU got LUcky she iSnt YouR sisTER in the PLAY or ReaL liFE

Libi: Poor America

Libi: I wouldn’t say anything or think anything bad if she wasn’t mean to Bobby

Libi: or you, or just everyone

Libi: I know she has her own stuff but that’s not okay

Astrid: i likE AmeriCA

Astrid: wHENs she beinG murDEReD?

Astrid: & wHAT dOeS STUFF mean?

Libi: She likes you too 😄

Libi: She’s the 1st victim, how mean of me

Libi: like stuff in her personal life that would make her 😢 or 😡

Astrid: 😀 😃 😄 😁

Astrid: doES mR MullAN noT Like AmerICA oR dOeS shE NOt liKe him? 😆 😅 😂 🤣

Astrid: stUFF like JaKE not WaNTInG to BE heR BoYFriend

Astrid: ....

Libi: A bit of both

Libi: but I think they like annoying each other too, a 🤏

Libi: He likes her enough to cast her anyway

Libi: Yeah, but also stuff I don’t know, and the kinda stuff you wanna keep secret from everyone, you know?

Astrid: iF she So WASNT meAN she wOULD hAVE FRiENDS to TEll her SecreTS to & iF ShE CouLD TELL her SeCRETS To SomeONE she wouLDNT be AS mean

Astrid: 😵‍💫

Libi: That’s a good point

Libi: She’ll have to figure that out on her own though, I don’t think she’d like being told 😠😡🤬

Astrid: she wOULd haVE a meLTdoWn ✅☑️

Libi: Exactly

Libi: And she doesn’t pay attention in her social skills lessons so she doesn’t have good coping skills

Astrid: SoCiAL SkILLs iS v 😵‍💫

Astrid: BuT Im GlaD sheS nOT in OUR cLASS fOR iT

Libi: It sounds like Mrs Fifield is impressed with you though

Astrid: 🤞🤞

Astrid: i liKE thIS scHOOl

Astrid: [cue a rant about the school Ro sent her to when she was alive because imagine tbh, my child, autistic? NEVER]

Libi: That’s good

Libi: It’s important to be mostly happy at school, as we spend so much time here

Libi: And I like it too, it’s nice to all go to the same school, even if we’re in different years

Astrid: & !Now wE cAN HANG OUT moRE for tHE plaY!

Libi: 😄😄

Astrid: FRIDay @ 5 but 👀 FOr ME on wedNESdAY when mS hOWE is dOING reheaRSAl 😄😄

Libi: Wednesday after school in the gym and Friday @ 5

Libi: Got it

Libi: It’s gonna be fun

[tartagliaxx]

hi lei!! thank you for explaining the whole pity system for me!! it did make me realize i don't have childe confirmed which makes me nervous i like most of the other characters but if some other five star comes home there gonna be benched and hated i have an idea kinda like a little ritual to get him home its something i wanna try before i start to pull for him i looked through the archive and found i think every location childe has been to and i plan to go through all of them if you want i can give you the list :3

right now whos in your team? and who is childe going to replace? if you imagined a team dynamic with the characters what would it be like and how would it different with childe?

for me my current team is xiangling, noelle, lumine and kaeya i plan to bench lumine,,,,i'm gonna miss calling my team kaeya n girlies but i'll live considering i have childe i can imagine him trying to entertain the others by making little whales out of water and xiangling gets the idea to make ice cream animals by having him manipulate it while its liquid, kaeya freezes it and noelle acts as the taste tester- 🍰

you’re welcome! i also dont have childe confirmed so same boat bestie but we shouldnt worry too much bc childe will come home to us... right? i was planning to do the same! i saved the golden house fight for today and i also planned to go to the northland bank later. please do send the locations 👀

so the thing abt me playing is i dont have a team? my priority are the namecards lmfao so i’ll just randomly switch people in depending on friendship lvls, my mood and their compatibility against enemies. what i can tell you is my go-to team when im not sure which enemies i’ll be fighting. that team is composed of diluc, zhongli, mona and venti. i can see myself switching out venti for childe when facing single enemies/bosses since venti’s ult doesnt really work too well for them.

literally the dynamic is ‘rich ceo turns sugar father to two broke ex-gods and one broke astrologer’. with venti around, everyone is at guaranteed at least one prank a day and that stresses out zhongli so much that he loses a big chunk of his cool. mona is generally pretty chill but broke. she sometimes helps stop zhongli from grabbing venti by the neck and swinging him off the cliff but she’s also traumatized from that one time she almost got blown away from trying to read his fate. meanwhile, diluc is just there staring at them exasperatedly bc he legitimately feels as if he adopted three rowdy children. rest assured tho, diluc nags and pesters at them to eat lunch on time and buys them proper clothes when they’re going to dragonspine or whatever. ‘no mona. you’re not taking a step into dragonspine w that outfit. here. have this coat’

when venti unfortunately had to leave for bard duties, zhongli was pleased and offered to introduce a potential new member which just so happened to be childe. suddenly, the team dynamic shifted and now, it’s zhongli’s turn to be the dad bc diluc and childe are always at each other’s necks (quite literally. you almost never see them without weapons pointed at each other). diluc hates the fatui, end of the story while childe has taken a liking into infuriating diluc and getting into a fight w him. mona would leave but unfortunately, she’s very broke and now, she has two sugar fathers to pay for her expenses. childe may also bother her to read his fate not bc he believes in it but bc he finds it intriguing. oh and tea breaks! it’s a must for zhongli so everyone puts down whatever they’re doing and sits down for tea at zhongli’s insistence once a day in the afternoon. i feel like mona’s the youngest? and everyone sees her as a little sister (except for zhongli. he sees her more of a granddaughter) so if anyone dared hurt her, everyone is suddenly best friends who work together very well. yes let’s go spam that burst and vaporize.

🥺🥺 your team is very cute. that dynamic is so wholesome ahhhhhh. it suits you very well :)

[horansqueen]

AM Conversations : chapter 26

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4k. -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- if you want to be notified when this is updated, please message me or leave a comment!

- you can send me questions and theories and comments. tbh they all make me SO SO SO SOOOO HAPPY! and make me want to write more! you can also tell me if there are things you WANT to happen. you never know, i may add it :P

- thanks for being patient btw! i work a lot these days and will work even more in the next few weeks (until halloween) so i may not update as often as i’d like. :(

- NOTE FOR THIS CHAPTER: im so sorry.

-please, message me, give me feedbacks, it would mean sooo much to me!

Chapter 26 : His chapter

NIALL

"She's just my best friend!" I let out for the hundredth time.

Maya rolled her eyes and shook her head in despair, her arms crossed over her body. I should find her extremely attractive, I knew it, but she exasperated me and although I knew she was gorgeous, I couldn't find an ounce of beauty in her at this exact moment. Perhaps I was way too annoyed by her petty behavior.

"So she's like a sister to you?" she asked a bit meanly, raising her eyebrows at me.

"What? No!" I grimaced. "No, Olivia is not like a sister to me she's like a... a best friend!"

It was so annoying to repeat the same things over and over again and it was not only with Maya, it was with pretty much everyone who would be around us for more than five fucking minutes.

"A best friend that you hold hands with? A best friend you hug all the fucking time?"

"Okay so we're affectionate with each other? So what?"

It was a bit more than that and I knew it was wrong to pretend otherwise but I was getting pissed. Okay, maybe I had imagined having sex with my best friend many times recently but it didn't mean anything at all. I was just a bit too horny, that was all. No big deal.

"Are you fucking serious Niall?" she continued. "How do you think that makes me feel to see pictures of you too acting like you're a couple?"

"You knew before we started dating, Maya. You know that my friendship with her was special. You knew it was different and you were okay with it, what changed? Liv is my best friend and she will always be my best friend. If you can't handle it right now then maybe this is not the relationship you need."

Her face changed suddenly and her traits softened but I was still just as mad, if not more. I wanted this discussion to be over with. I wanted to leave here and go back to having fun with my best friend. I was never a fan of drama, especially not in my own life, and I was not sure it was all worth it anymore.

"Are you sure you don't have romantic feelings for her?"

Her question took me by surprise and I frowned, pushing both my hands in my pockets before sighing low. I didn't want to answer this for the simple reason that I had to answer this question was too often. This is not something that I should be asked and I have no idea why the fuck the answer isn't obvious for everyone.

"Not that question again, no." I shake my head slightly.

I don't know how long I had been arguing with Maya when the phone rang and I took a few seconds to look at it, a bit surprised by Liv's text message. I didn't know who broke up with who but either way, it was shocking. I sighed low, rubbing my hand over my face a few times as anger towards Harry started rising inside me. I did tell him not to hurt my best friend didn't I? I couldn't believe that after all he had said and done to be with her, he was now leaving her or letting her go without a fight.

"Fucking Harry." I whispered, letting out a low and short groan.

"Niall! We're arguing here!" Maya said a bit too loud, taking me out of my daydream.

"Mm?"

I looked up at her and she seemed even angrier than before. I sighed and closed my eyes. I had to stop this discussion now before it went out of hand. Plus, I had somewhere to be, somewhere I felt I actually belonged, with someone I had promised myself to make a priority. I stared at my girlfriend a few seconds as she was desperately trying to keep my focus and attention on her and I rubbed my eyes a bit too hard, blurring my vision for a few seconds.

"Look, Maya, I really have to go."

                                                   ---

The ride was short and the night was cool and stormy. The wind was blowing way more than usual and it was starting to rain but I didn't care. I waited patiently until Olivia opened the door for me and ran upstairs, skipping a few. I thought she'd be drunk by now but when she opened the door, she sent me a big smile and I was surprised to realize she could still stand and walk without difficulty.

"You look like crap." I half-joked, making her chuckle.

"Thanks, you too."

We stared at each other for a few seconds before she moved away to let me in. I noticed the bottle of wine, already half-consummated, sitting on the coffee table, along with an almost empty beer that probably belonged to Harry. I sat on the couch and grabbed the beer, taking a sip and grimacing at how warm it was. I put it back on the table and when I turned to Liv, she was sitting next to me and looking at me with an amused smile.

"Tastes like crap?" she asked, raising her eyebrows as I chuckled.

"Fuck yea."

"Like my life."

My smile fell down slowly and I suddenly felt really bad for her. I could see her eyes water and I quickly brought my hands up to cup her cheeks, moving closer to stare in her eyes better.

"Hey, hey." I whispered. She blinked a few times and pressed her lips together. "It's just a bump in the road okay? Just a small bump in the road. You're the strongest person I know, Olivia. You've been through a lot, you can get through this, you'll survive this."

She nodded slowly as my thumbs brushed gently on her cheeks.

"I believe in you, okay? And I'm here for you, I always will be."

Her eyes roamed on my face and I realized that mine were probably doing the same thing. I don't know how long we stared at each other before she just moved closer and leaned her head against my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her as close as I could, pressing my cheek on top of her head. It felt good to hold her that close and I realized that this hug didn't just make her feel better, it made me feel good, too.

We probably stayed like that for at least half an hour and we were both fine with it. I let my mind wander on the past few weeks and everything that had happened between us. We had never fought so much but also, we had connected in a way I couldn't explain and somehow i felt like both things were related. I had to face the facts, things really had changed between Liv and I, even if I had tried to convince myself otherwise, and I knew it really started right after tour, I just was not sure what it was and how to handle it. All I knew was that we both needed a moment of adaptation and that it would come with time. It was normal, right? People grow up, they change, and we were no exception.

"Are you gonna stay the night?"

Her voice was soft and it made me press her tighter against me.

"Yes."

I didn't even have to think about it, for me, it was obvious that I wouldn't be leaving.

"Thank you."

She was not crying but I knew she was close and I wanted to tell her to let it go. Instead, I just closed my eyes.

"Do you want me to kick his ass?"

She chuckled against my neck and it made me smile more.

"I'll do it if I have to." I added as she shook her head.

"Don't be stupid." she let out, moving slightly away from me and sniffing. "What Harry did... was the right thing to do. I guess I just didn't... expect it."

"It was a shock." I agreed with a nod. "Did you love him?"

Her face softened again and she tilted her head as I kept one of my hands on her shoulder. For some odd reason, I wanted her to say she didn't but I didn't know why. Perhaps I thought it wouldn't hurt as much if she was not in love with him.

"No, not yet."

My heart jumped but I simply nodded and send her a smile.

"Come on, it's late." I whispered. "Let's sleep, yea?"

She nodded and we both got up to walk to her room. I searched through her drawers for sweatpants and a t-shirt but when I was about to open her third one, she rushed to my side to stop me.

"Underwear?" I asked, raising my eyebrows with a smirk.

She didn't say anything but just rolled her eyes before getting clothes for me, pushing them against my chest and making me laugh. I unbuttoned my shirt and took it off before putting on the one she gave me which I was pretty sure actually belonged to me. I did the same with my pants and lied down in her bed, turning to look at her as she came back from the bathroom. She quickly turned the light off and I watched her shadow move and sit on the bed before getting under the covers with me. We remained silent again, both laying on our backs and watching the ceiling. I couldn't stop wondering what she was thinking about and I just turned my head her way.

"What are you gonna miss the most?" I just asked, not really sure why it mattered.

"The sex." she quickly replied with a chuckle. "It felt good to be wanted. And to get an orgasm from something else than my own fingers."

I nodded, my eyebrows raised, even if she couldn't see me. She was right, and I missed it more than I could admit.  I missed it so much that I had sex dreams about my best friend, got hard from being close to her and even had to jerk off to the thought of her once. It was ridiculous.

I turned my body her way, holding my head with my hand, and I noticed she had closed her eyes. I brought my hand to her stomach, under the covers, and she immediately tensed under my fingers. I waited a few seconds until she relaxed again and let my hand slide down slowly. I felt her suck her stomach in and licked my lips, my hand traveling past the waistband of her sweatpants and I could feel my whole body throb at my boldness. This was not planned or even thought of. I was doing it because I felt like it and because it had been obsessing me too much recently.

"Niall..."

"Shhh." i cut her in a soft voice. "I got ya."

I slipped my hand down in her pants and the whole room seemed to move. It was the very first time I was touching my best friend this way and all I could think about was that my hand was exactly were hers was when I caught her masturbating. She whimpered, taking me out of my daydream, and spread her legs a bit to give me a better access. Two of my fingers brushed on her shaved pussy and I held my breath at the feeling, until they reached her slit, sliding between her folds and grazing her clit. She gasped, her eyes still closed, and I tried to focus on what I was doing. I could feel my dick swell against her thigh again but I decided to push the thought and need away as I pushed my fingers inside her.

"Fuck, you're so wet." I whispered without thinking. "Were you that wet when you masturbated at the lodge?"

"Y-Yes."

Her voice was shaky and whimpery and it made me grind my hips against her despite myself. My fingers moved in and out of her extremely slowly and all I could think about was licking them to taste her.

"What got you so horny that time?" I asked again with a smirk, knowing she would be more willing to answer me now that I was fingering her. "You never wanted to tell me."

"You."

My movements faltered for a second before getting back to their normal and steady speed but I couldn't stop the erratic beating of my heart due to her confession.

"Me?"

"Mmhm, you." she repeated. "I saw you almost naked, moving out of the pool, and... I just..."

I was surprised to realize she was lusting me exactly like I was lusting her. I honestly had never thought she had gotten horny because of me and I liked it. I could pretend I was simply flattered but it was more than that. It felt like some sort of victory and I couldn't understand why.

"Is that what you were thinking about when I caught you?"

I moved my head closer to whisper in her ear as one of my fingers started focusing on her clit. It was so quiet in the room that I could hear how wet she was.

"Yes."

At this thought, my fingertip pressed on her clit and her lips parted. She let out a whimper and I groaned low, my cock now painfully hard. I rubbed myself gently against her, trying to get some release as she moved one of her knees up. She looked a bit fucked, squirming slightly next to me as I fingered her, but I liked it so much I didn't want to stop.

"Fuck."

After her confession, I felt like I owed her somehow and I brushed my lips on her cheek to murmur in her ear again.

"When we got back from tour and slept in my bed together, I dreamed about us having sex." I had already shared that with her but I inhaled deeply before continuing. "I woke up with a boner, my dick pressed against your ass. I had to go jerk off in the shower. And I thought of you."

One of her hands quickly reached for my wrist and she held it hard and tight, her short nails digging slightly in my skin. I kept rubbing her clit and fingering her, a bit quicker this time though, and her back arched suddenly.

"Oh my.. god!"

She started shaking on the bed as I tried to touch her through her orgasm but the fact that she moved so much and rubbed her thigh against my cock despite herself made me groan low. I felt a rush to my brain and moaned a bit louder, feeling myself cum in my pants. She came down from her high as I reached mine and I held my breath, trying to hide the fact that I got an orgasm basically only from watching her and feeling a part of her body rub against me. I closed my eyes, slipping my whole hand over her pussy and spreading her wetness all over her. Somehow, I wished the lights would have been on and I wish there had been no blankets at all, if only to be able to see her better.

"Fuck. Oh god, fuck." she expressed again as I kept moving my hand between her legs. "I just... I came so hard."

She didn't dare to turn her head to look at me and I didn't dare to look away from her, scared but also hoping her eyes would meet mine. After a while, I gave up and licked my lips, sitting up in bed and excusing myself before locking myself in the bathroom. I had to take the sweatpants off and did the same with my soaked boxers, cursing low. I didn't know what to do with them and I ended up just washing them quickly in the sink and leaving them to dry on the side of the bath, hoping she wouldn't ask any question. I put the sweatpants back, going commando the same way she always did, and walked back in the room. She hadn't moved at all and I walked back to my side of the bed, wondering if she was already asleep.

"Liv?"

"Mm?"

I slipped back under the covers with her and waited a few seconds to talk again.

"Are you okay?"

This time, she turned my way and moved closer, cuddling my side and making my heart jump in my chest, threatening to come out of my throat. I was so happy that it didn't change anything between us and didn't make things too awkward.

"Better now." she admitted low, wrapping her arm around my chest.

I pulled her closer to me and kissed the top of her head as her breathing became steadier and heavier. She fell asleep in my arms and I listened to her breathe for a few minutes before allowing myself to reach slumber too.

What woke me up is the unceasing and insatiable sound of my cellphone. I groaned and turned around in bed, feeling Liv move and whimper low. I grabbed my phone and mumbled somewhat of a 'hello' without really thinking.

"Niall? Where are you?"

I frowned, my eyes still closed, letting out a groan as I recognized Maya's voice. I was not in the mood to fight and I had to fight the urge to just hang up and go back to sleep. Olivia moved in her sleep again, this time closer to me, and I ran my fingers up her arm before sighing again.

"I'm at Liv's." I answered, clearing my throat. "What time is it?"

I didn't want to open my eyes and go back to reality but Maya was pulling me in that direction and I was not liking it at all. The night before came rushing to my brain and I felt my whole body on fire at the thought. Did I really do that?

"You slept there? At her place? In her bed?"

That was it. I was completely back to reality and I sighed louder, bringing one of my hand to my face to rub my eyes. I wasn't really into fighting in first place but doing it first thing in the morning was even worse.

"Yes, Maya. I slept here, in Liv's bed." I repeated. "The way I always do, and you know that."

t was a lie. Obviously, something had been different this time, but I thought mentioning it was not a good idea. I should feel guilty, perhaps, but I didn't. My best friend in the whole universe felt like shit and I made her feel better. Sure, the way I used to do it was questionable but I had promised myself she'd be my priority and i was going to stick to it. I grimaced, wondering who the hell I was trying to fool, and turned around in bed to press my face in my pillow. It smelled like her shampoo and I knew that i'd never smell vanilla and honey without thinking about her anymore.

The truth was, I had enjoyed myself too and I didn't regret it, not even for a second. I've wanted to touch her since we came back from tour and although I still wanted more, what had happened between us the night before had surpassed my expectations.

Maya kept arguing a bit on the phone but I kept quiet and when she was done, I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling.

"Are we still up for tonight?" I just asked, feeling Liv sit up next to me.

When I hung up with Maya, I turned to Olivia with a big smile. I was a bit tired and annoyed to have Maya on my back all the time but I tried to take it lightly.

"Morning sunshine, how'd you sleep?"

My smile fell when I noticed she was frowning, her tiny pink lips parted. Why was I noticing her features like it was the very first time? She looked confused and I sat up too, my face not extremely close to hers.

"Are you still dating Maya?"

I was taken aback by her question and I frowned, shrugging a shoulder slowly.

"Yea, why?"

Suddenly, she got up,  bringing her hands to her face and shaking her head, and I pushed the covers off of me as she turned around and scoffed, making me nervous. When she turned around, I realized she was crying as I saw some tears quickly running down her cheeks. Quickly and without thinking, I jumped out of bed and walked to her, grabbing gently both her elbows right after she pressed her palms back on her face.

"Hey, petal, what's wrong?"

She got out of my embrace a bit roughly and turned around her back facing me.

"You.."

I could hear anger in her voice, even if she barely talked, and my heart sunk in my chest.

"You.. you touched me, Niall!"

"I know." I pointed out in a low and calm tone. "I remember Olivia, I was there."

"You touched me and you still have a girlfriend!" she argued again, a little louder this time. "That's called cheating Niall! And you cheated with me! And now I feel like shit! What are you going to tell Maya, mm?"

"No, wait." i let out, moving my hand up slightly to stop her. "You felt like shit, I just wanted to make you feel better. I mean, yea I've thought about you in a sexual way for a few weeks now but, you were sad, and-"

"It's not the first time i'm sad Niall! But it's the first time you choose to finger me to make me feel better!"

I got a bit shocked by how blunt she was but there was no reason for me to be surprised. It was very much like her to be so bold and it was a part of her that I adored.

"What did you think? 'Oh i'm gonna give her an orgasm to make her happy again'? It doesn't bother you that your fucking girlfriend was waiting for you while your hand was in my pants?"

"It was... it meant nothing, I just.."

I sighed loudly and shook my head, my eyes closed. She was partially right. Perhaps I should have made things clear with her first and I definitely cheated on Maya but I couldn't get myself to regret it.

"I decided you'd be my priority now, Olivia." I confessed a bit rudely. "I'm not going to lose you, not again. I don't want to. You and I... it's forever. You know it, right? You feel it? I can't be the only one to feel it."

Her eyes watered again and this time, she closed her eyes. The tears that slid down her cheeks made my heart break and I took a step closer. I wanted to tell her how much she meant to me. I wanted to tell her how much I needed her in my life and how horrible those weeks without her were but I didn't have time. God knows if I would have even told her. Was I courageous enough to be honest with her and with myself?

"Well wrong move, Niall." she pointed out in a low and shaky voice. She seemed calm suddenly and I knew it meant nothing good. "I need to be alone."

Still wearing her sweatpants and a t-shirt, she grabbed a sweater and her phone before leaving the room. I remained standing up, motionless, until I heard the door from her apartment close. After a while, I sighed, knowing how bad I had fucked up, and sat on her bed, rubbing my eyes a bit too hard. I should feel bad for Maya, and scared to lose her. I should regret touching my best friend, I should hate myself for acting selfishly and stupidly... but all I could focus on was the fear that I had pushed my best friend away. Again. And that this time, she was gone forever.

#niall horan #niall horan story #niall horan smut #niall horan fluff #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan writing #my fanfics #amc #was it too plain? #was it too boring? #was not hot enough mm? #idk how to feel about thiiiiiis

[crispyapplepies]

Copy pasta improvised terra-slept-with-joshua-and-ven-is-upset-about-it fic i wrote in a discord chat for any terravens willing to overlook the present tense sketch writing, i hope you enjoy the angsty comedy drama --

so by chance, vens assigned gym partner for the day is joshua~ sora is stuck with roxas in the bg which is also amusing if you wanna know the background noise to this xD ven is an utter sweetie and has no personal problem with joshua so hes happy to pick up his slack on their activities today since he understands some people just dont care for athletics, especially when they have pretty looks to preserve for rehearsal tonight^^ at the end of class joshua offers his coy appreciation to ven who was such a cute gentleman today in getting him through that~ and then he makes some remark about how he never wouldve guessed ven even was that physically inclined given what he thought terras taste in men was~ ven lowers an eyebrow and asks "huh? what does that mean? =o=" and joshua chuckles "oh it was a long time ago, nothing to wonder about now~ i will say this though, you my friend? are one very very lucky bottom ;) keep a close eye on him." and then he saunters off to his next class. ven squints =.= hes a lil grumpy now x)

come lunch time, terra and aqua have already sat down at their usual table, seniors come in first, and theyre settled in with aqua going over some extra terms with terra for their history exam. sophomores finally file in and ven marches over with the tray of food he didnt even look at when he was at the counter. terra turns with a smile to see him and plants his usual kiss hello on his cheek as ven sits down with a slight fwomp, not responding to it. terra asks "everything okay? :o" and aqua looks over to check if hes feeling alright, not spotting any signs of sickness. ven responds almost gritting his teeth "i've been better. =_ =" terra tells aqua he'll help her study in a minute, cuz obviously upset boyfriend takes priority<3 he sinks his fingers into vens hair and asks him if he wants to talk about it. and ven takes a deep breath, trying to resume his usual Good Boi Angel attitude, gently swats terras hand away and says "Maybe later, you and aqua can go ahead and study! 8) I'll even help you if you like~" terra recognizes that this is certainly not over but hes not gonna force ven to talk or anything so he kinda nervously says okay.. and then tells aqua "Wanna quiz me?" and aqua says sure, and starts reading off the list of vocab words only for ven to suddenly smack the table and turn sharply to terra and ask "WHEN WERE YOU GONNA TELL ME YOU SLEPT WITH JOSHUA????" and terra just- O//__//O oops.. and aqua looks at terra all disappointed and grossed out and groans "Oh, terra, you didn't... >~<" and terra is so embarrassed and tries to explain to ven's scowl "i-it was a long time ago! really it meant nothing! :'D... a-and besides it was even before I met you! so.. thats- alright?" and he glances over at aqua hoping for some kind of validation but she just goes "ughh..." in the most smh big sister voice xDDD

ven exhales, trying to cool off and be rational, but his usual sweet happy face just cant help being all =_ = at terra, and he says "I guess its- fine, but- gosh, really? joshua? you didnt have feelings for him, did you? er was this just a fling? how long ago was this?" and terra stumbles to answer saying "i-it was- um... back when i first came out! people were telling me i couldnt say i was bi if i'd never had sex with a guy too, so i- had to prove it! thats all, really, it was nothing meaningful to me, honest<3 :'3 I'm not like that." as he cups vens cheeks playfully, but where theres usually a smile between puffed out cheeks theres still just a >:T ven folds his arms and tries again to collect himself and says "i guess i get it.. i guess xT thats really all it was? no more secrets?" and terra swears with his hand up and his eyes closed "I swear thats all it was v_v." aqua shakes her head and tells terra "Youre gonna owe ven preeetty big after this blows over :/" but before ven can even respond terra has already jumped in to tell her "I'll do anything to make ven happy! theres absolutely nothing to worry about~ :')" and ven is still kinda pissed but he finally says "okay. i'll let it go. here aqua, i can read off the list and quiz both of you" and aqua slides ven the paper to read off while she glares at terra who glares back at her as if to say 'drop it =.='

so thats the end of it for the day, and the next day too, but then the next day is gym again, and whatever sora and roxas are struggling with in the bg is still going on xD and ven and joshua are partners again. ven is still not comfortable with the idea of his terra sleeping with joshua, the twink incubus of the school fdkjgh but hes a nice boy so hes going to continue being nice and get joshua through this "drag of an hour, and not even the fun kind" pff joshua can kinda tell ven is pretty tense today though, unusual for him since ven is always the nicest kid in the whole school next to maybe sora. so finally near the end he asks if something's on his mind and ven realizes ack, what am i doing? there is no reason for me to be such a jerk. so he tells joshua "im really sorry, I mean it, I have no business acting like this;; i just- when i found out you slept with terra i was kinda.. uncomfortable about it to say the least, but i have no reason to be, youre perfectly nice :) besides, it was before he even met me so it doubly doesnt matter~^^" but thats where joshua raises an eyebrow. "oh? i think youre a little mixed up there cutie pie~ terra and i had sex together last year. some time after you transferred. I was amazed at the offer, really, i honestly thought that once he met you, none of us other cuties had a chance. but it looks like he landed you in the end, so it is of no matter. but i do certainly hope that you and he are happy, terra is quite the catch and we'll all be quite jealous of you til the end~ catch you around ;)" and thats the end of that conversation. ven. is. livid. 8)

so ven actually skipped lunch with his friends 8) terra looks around curiously, he still isnt showing up and hes not texting him back either. aqua asks him "doesnt ven have gym today?" and terra answers like its a dumb question pff "yeah? its thursday, everybody has gym today. its gym day." and she shakes her head at him and says "I think you should give him some space. im pretty sure i know where he is. :/" terra looks uneasy tho. "do you think hes okay?" and aqua says "oh... im sure he will be." terra grips his arms and tries not to think about it 8)

senior gym class is last period and they start filing in as the juniors file out. terra fist bumps riku on his way in xD terra is practically exempt from whatever is on the activities list cuz hes.. terra and gym class is honestly childs play pff he finishes everything in 2 seconds anyway. so usually the coach just lets him bench press for a while. highschools are bullshit xD aqua has that privilege too but she considers it a warm up before her practice later and does them anyway. terra takes his time prepping the bench, saving himself the trouble of dealing with the crowd in the locker room, and once they all run out he yoinks his gym bag up to his shoulder just to be extra pff and marches on in there to change. weird that everyone is snickering at him on their way out though... he walks inside, humming mindlessly to himself cuz gym class is his chance to relax after school before his practice. and then he half screams in surprise as his gym bag falls to the floor. ven is sitting right there in front of the lockers with the angriest look on his face terra didnt even know he /could/ make jhdfgl ven "sings" out "hello, terra. >8(" and terra just- run kdjfhglhdfsg

terra runs back to the bench as if he can just- run away from reality kdjsfhgljkdfs xDDD and start bench pressing cuz he doesnt know what else to do sdklfjhglsdj im having too much fun with this i love dumb ass jocks and soft cuties xDDD ven launches himself on top of terra pushing down on the weights terra was about to pump up and yells "YOU SLEPT WITH JOSHUA WHILE YOU WERE COURTING ME?!?!?!?!!!!"

(everyone in the gym is cackling quietly to themselves at the display sdfkjgh this AMAZING xD) terra looks up at ven in fear and stutters "I-I didnt think i had a chance with you! you didnt seem interested D:!" ven yells "OF COURSE I WAS INTERESTED YOURE JUST SHIT AT FLIRTING!!!!!!!" terra tries to calm him down "youre gonna break the bench press, ven! D:" the coach comes over at all the yelling and yells at them "HEY, break it up--" only to be shut right up when ven glares at him and growls and terra looks at him utterly terrified dfkjhg and motions for him to leave them alone. the coach is both very scared of ven xD and also doesnt wanna lose his quarterback so he smiles and holds his hands up in surrender and says "hey, you know what? why dont you two work it out amongst yourselves?^^;;; maybe somewhere that isnt my expensive bench press though?" ven yells "FINE." and grabs terra by the wrist and drags him back to the locker rooms using a scary strength terra didnt know he had dkfjglh O_O;; aqua pauses her stretches and shakes her head and mumbles "it was nice knowing you, terra. :/" and then resumes her work out xD

well ven flings terra into the locker room and shuts the door with a slam and chews him out. "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HUMILIATING THIS FEELS?!!! YOU SLEPT WITH THAT LITTLE HORNDOG AFTER I CAME HERE AND THEN YOU LIED TO ME ABOUT IT SO I HAD TO FIND OUT FROM THE HORNDOG HIMSELF?!!! GIMME YOUR BEST EXPLANATION FOR THAT, TERRA, JUST TRY ME!!!! >8UUUUUU" terra reaches out his trembling hands bravely to try and calm ven down, before he pulls his hair out and he cries out "I'm SORRY, i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry, okay, I didn't do it to hurt you!!!! It was just a small thing-" "AHAHAH IS THAT WHAT IT IS THEN??? WELL IF IT WAS SUCH A SMALL "tHinG" THEN WHY WOULD YOU LIE TO ME ABOUT IT, WHAT OTHER SECRETS HAVE YOU BEEN KEEPING?!!! DID YOU SLEEP WITH RIKU TOO? ANYMORE CHEERLEADERS I DONT KNOW ABOUT??? OR MAYBE JOSHUA AGAIN AT SOME POINT????!!! >8'DDDD"   ven is about to lose his mind sdjfhg terra is starting to feel upset too ;~; "No, I don't have anymore secrets, after we started dating I havent even so much as THOUGHT of anyone else! I mean that! :'U" he pleas, finally managing to place loving hands on vens shoulders as he prays for forgiveness dkfjhg ven finally just cries it out letting himself sob into his palms and terra steps in closer, hating to see ven cry, and this is much worse knowing hes the cause of it ;-;

ven glances up again, terras scent hitting him and that warm chest right in front of him that he loves and he just buries his face in it not knowing what else to do dkfgh terra holds him, stroking his back, mulling over in his head how many ways he could apologize for this but then ven pushes himself away again, hes still so upset >~< and he sniffles "why. did you lie to me about it." terras face goes red and he fishes for his words "because i- i care what you think ven." ven scoffs, but his frown hardens and he wipes his eyes "you care what i think, and so you LIED to me? what am i supposed to think?" terra replies quickly "i dont know :'u i guess i just didnt want you to think..." ven holds himself and turns away. terra supposes he has to just- be honest then, its worth a try if  it keeps him from losing the love of his life. "Look, I- I lied because the way you look at me matters to much. I care what you think of me more than anyone else, ven." ven sniffles, his back still turned to terra "oh yeah?" and terra glides over to turn him around and look at him, taking vens hands in his. "yes! ven youre the nicest, kindest, most pure hearted person i've ever met. i cant even imagine there being a darkness in your heart. who even says "slept with" and "courted" anymore besides a sweetheart like you? youre like an angel to me, but i- dont have the best reputation anymore. and the number of partners ive had seemed to disgust you. it broke my heart the way you looked at me the other day knowing that id slept with joshua. like you thought i was- i dunno.. im sorry i did it, i really am. i never wouldve done it if i'd known you really did want me too." ven reaches up and places a hand to terras cheek promising "Terra, I think the world of you. i wouldnt be with you if i didnt think you were a great person. the best even! you know how much i admire you. i just- was I just a fling? how do i know im not the next joshua or shiki you sl- have sex with and drop?"

and terra leans down to kiss his forehead and chuckles "because you're you, silly." that gets ven smiling again, the cornier the better with him<3 he presses his nose to terras chest and slides his arms up over his back for a tight hug and terra is so relieved they got through that dkfgjhdjl f ven tells him "I'm sorry for making you feel judged. i was way too rash about that whole thing." terra tells him its alright, imeanididlietoyouafterallahem.. ven goes = _= for just a second, cuz yeah that sure wasnt cool dfkjgh but he removes it cuz mostly hes back to smiling and he pulls himself away to look up at terra again, admitting with a blush "i guess i'm still in disbelief that youre really mine. maybe in 5 years or something i'll believe it" ven chuckles at his joke, but terra smiles down at him very sincerely and says "then i'm counting the years with you til then~" and that just tickles him and he jumps up to give terra make up smooches for a while<3 eventually they emerge from the locker room, ven clearly looking like hed been crying but smiling away again, even feeling okay enough to go to class now, cuz hes a good boy who wouldnt just ditch at that point like i would xD terra looks relieved too. aqua breaks formation when she sees them come out and runs up to ven to ask if hes okay and hug him if he needs, but ven says "everythings fine :) thanks aqua~" and aqua looks up at terra to double check that and terra nods affirmatively that yes, everything is fine. ven nudges aqua "see you at practice today~" and waves at terra too, knowing he prefers not to smooch in front of the other seniors;; but terra tells him to hang on and he runs over to give him a smooch goodbye and all is well after that<3 and axel snarks "tchh- drama queens :/"