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#my son my child
mamaelephant321 · 2 days ago
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I dont know where to start. I dont know what to say. I feel so much right now and yet I am so numb. I am putting a lot of blame on myself. I cant breathe and I cant think.
I cant do anything. I am trying to act normal. It works for a little while. Then the guilt and pain comes and its like a thick fog and it surrounds me and I cant stop it. I can't fan it away with my hand. I cant breathe. 
When do I stop hating myself..
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mamaelephant321 · 3 days ago
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Missed you so much last night. Did a lot of crying. I just want something good to happen...Im waiting patiently. Deep breaths.
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mamaelephant321 · 4 days ago
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I dont feel good today....I miss you so much...I can feel my heart breaking...
The cracks are like veins, breaking out over every inch of my heart.... the pieces are crumbling like a puzzle, one by one they disappear... falling into a pit of darkness. A black hole. I keep hanging on, I keep pushing through this feeling....
Telling myself every day, hour, second...
Everything will be alright...it will all be ok....
One day.
My heart will never be whole again.
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mamaelephant321 · 5 days ago
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Big plans today....getting out of the house.
I switched sides of the bed.
I cant do it. I cant be right anymore. On the right. I cant lay in that shrine every day of my life knowing what happened there.
Right there is truth. Truth of what happened, what they tell you, you can prevent. But you cant. Cant fix it.....
I have plans today. Big plans to get out of the house today....
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mamaelephant321 · 6 days ago
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I miss my baby. My son. My whole world. My walls came down that day and I am still crumbling. I try so hard to put myself back together again....
Im picking up the pieces....
Running out of glue....
Its so hard to live another day without you.
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mamaelephant321 · 7 days ago
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Im a first time mom...... you tell me to go home with a 5lb baby who needs help breast feeding. He is okay right, he can do it on his own. I can do this on my own. Right?!?
I am following the ABCs. I am. This can be prevented......right...?!??!!?
Go home his riboflavin is low but we aren't worried. It can cause brain issues but we aren't worried. Put him in sunlight. Give him sunlight a few times a day. Get a check up with pediatrician. Set appointment right away cus he was born early. Do this, do that. See a new doctor, whats wrong with him?! Oh you dont know cus you didnt go to college for this shit for 6 to 10 yrs like me?! Im supposed to know whats wrong with you?!
Help....help us...help premmies...help 35 weeks old babies. Help us understand that we all dont know what to do. Please help....
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mamaelephant321 · 7 days ago
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I got to meet an elephant. She painted for me. I love elephants 🐘
I miss my baby elephant....
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mamaelephant321 · 8 days ago
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Every day, little by little. It will take time but I will get there. I am going go share my story with you, but mostly this is for me. I need to get this out. Let loose my thoughts.......
Ill talk to you tomorrow Tumblr. Good day for now.
#premmieawarness #premmiebabies #PBA
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mamaelephant321 · 8 days ago
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This is a story of a tragedy. About a day that I still cannot get over. The day my walls fell, my reality got distorted. I cant believe I'm about to do this, I cant believe this happened to me.
The day I lost my son. 32621
321.
....this will not be easy.
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mltmsl · 14 days ago
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boldog-szomoru-dal · 18 days ago
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You are my everything. I promise I will always be there if you need me.
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lil-bean-bobbk · a month ago
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Made a friend at Walmart
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Meet rigatoni💚
He's safely chilling in my grandmas backyard
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xenogl0ssia · a month ago
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declan lynch deserves to be happy
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moon-shotts · 2 months ago
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My beautiful son Valentine on his first Valentine’s Day! Being this dudes mom has exceeded all my expectations and beyond 💕
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mrnobody578 · 4 months ago
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That’s my son! My boy!
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boxoffrogz · 7 months ago
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By Bob Schofield
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