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#my stumpy boi
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Have some cute younger Patrick photos I love his hair in the top left one
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kitchen-coven · 2 years
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Doodle tiem
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paradisecas · 2 years
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i cant not share this we r keeping michael mozzarella (dab) and LOOK AT HIM IN A SHIRT!!!!
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lukeskqwalker · 2 years
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I just saw the episode. I'm never gonna emotionally recover from this. I've been trembling since it started and I saw padawan anakin
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catboysalmon · 2 years
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unbronzebitch · 6 months
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It's the Great Pumpkin, Grimalkin!
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🪓✨
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bettysupremacy · 9 months
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Always There - Steve Harrington
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Summary
w/c 3.9k
a/n based off of this song that drops me to my knees every time I listen to it. Lyrics are out of order, ignore it ♡
Request
You’ve been waiting for your lover, what you’ll discover, is she’s always there.
Long were the nights you once thought about Steve.
Seven and knee scrapes, you’d been there with a GI Joe bandage. Twelve and arguing parents, you’d been there with your palms, warm over his ears.
It was natural with him, always had been.
Fourteen and his first girlfriend, you’d been there with open arms during their break up. Though, he didn’t seem to mind she’d left him for Jack Thompson, a stumpy boy a year older than them. Like he anticipated it, like he knew it was coming. It’d always bewildered you that he wasn’t upset his first girlfriend was stolen from him, but he had you he’d said, and that was enough for him.
16 and Nancy wheeler, you’d stub the toe of your shoe into the ground when she came along, and pretend she didn’t get to you the way she did.
Steve with her was a lump in your throat, but what were you to do? He loved her, he told you, It was different than the other girls. You couldn’t inadvertently scare her off with your silence, or push her away with darting glares in the halls. She loved him too. Or, so he’d thought.
Steve didn’t know why it felt like he was forcing himself to love Nancy. It stressed him, weighing down on his tight chest when he’d thought about the way she proclaimed them bullshit. Like he was just some fling, some distraction.
Not her distraction. His.
“Bullshit.” Nancy had slurred. “We’re bullshit.”
And Steve wondered why it was you he wanted to reach for in the moment. He knew you’d be there to wipe the cold water of Nancy’s indifference from his face.
His body ached as you held him that night under silly confetti sheets he’d bought you. The same sheets you’d brought to your new apartment. Pent up stress leaving his body in guttural sobs, It embarrassed him, pushed him further into your own aching chest. You didn’t mind, preening from the attention he’s been lackluster with.
You toe at his hip now, under the roof of an apartment you two call your own. Thinking about it makes you a nostalgic Steve calls you silly for, so you sit quiet as he grabs your socked foot, thumb pressing into the soft middle. “Foot message?”
20 and grown up, you feel like he’s been taking care of you more lately.
He drops your foot. “You wish.”
You smile, all the cheek he loves, but he doesn’t look away from the blindingly bright TV. Your shoulders drop, wishing you’d catch him looking at you the way you looked at him.
Twenty felt nice on him. Twenty warmed his skin and broadened his shoulders. It was shown in the way his arms filled the sleeves of his crew necks, the way he carried himself with a new lightness.
You’d always known he’d look good grown up, and twenty was grown up when you were sixteen. Taxes and rent, grocery shopping and working a job, you’d always known it’d be Steve you’d do those arduous adult tasks with. You just hoped it’d be as his girlfriend, not his roommate.
It ached the 14 year old inside of you. Roommate wasn’t the best adjective for what you were, but it worked. He was your best friend, your diary, your Steve. Not your roommate. He hated it, correcting everyone in a 20 mile radius when they called you that.
Movie night with your roommate?
best friend
It’s only fair when you decide to push his buttons a little. The lack of attention eats you, and you know he doesn’t like to talk about his dates to you. “How was Carrie?”
“Hm?”
“Carrie?”
“Oh,” Steve breathes out heavily. “She was fine.”
You nod slowly, though it still isn’t received, like the smile you had plastered on just for him 2 minutes ago.
He seems tired, though usually he’s able to muster a knock it off.
“There’ll be a second date?” You don’t know why you seek out this answer.
“Um,” his head lolls against the couch, turning to look at you. “No,” his head shakes, “I don’t think so.”
“What?” Your eyes squint. “Why not?”
His laugh is exasperated. “I don’t know, sweet thing.” Heat crawls up your neck, embarrassed at his unexpected attention. “Why are we playing 20 questions?”
“Sorry.” You murmur, drawing your knees up. Defensive, but he doesn’t mind.
“It’s okay.” He murmurs back, smile lilting his voice playfully. “Are you okay?”
Your eyes pop up to his. He’s grateful to make contact with them. “Why wouldn’t I be okay?”
“Cause we’re playing interrogate Steve.”
“I said sorry.” There’s a loose thread of the couch in between your fingers. You tie it anxiously.
“You didn’t need to.” He teases.
“I know.” You tease back, lighthearted. Just loud enough to hear, just quiet enough that you don’t have to use your voice, you’re scared he’ll hear the choke in your throat.
The couch below you crinkles as Steve turns back to his tv, and you’re embarrassed. So embarrassed.
He doesn’t know this, of course, but it still gnaws that he could see through your interrogation. As he’d put it.
“Y/N.” His voice is quiet.
The TV still plays, background noise though you pretend to pay attention.
“Hm?” You feign attention, or a lack thereof.
His hand drops from the couch cushion to your knee, squeezing concernedly. “Are you okay?”
Or maybe he does know. Maybe he knows more than you’d think.
“Yes, Steve,” There’s a weak laugh that makes him frown. “Are we playing interrogate Y/N now?”
“No,” he drags out, gently. “you just seem.. sad?”
You nod. “Thank you.”
“No,” he says again, a little more stressed. “I just mean- shit, I can tell you want to cry.” his chest hurts. “Did I do something?”
Your head shakes, words failing you.
He’s upset now. Not at you, of course, but at himself for being the reason you weren’t able to talk.
“M’sorry.” His head shakes, dismissing his earlier question. “Please don’t be upset with me, just.. tell me when you’re ready.”
You nod, knowing that he‘s still watching, though he’s turned back to Full House.
Something about him noticing your upset doesn’t sit right with you. He’s known you since you were 5, of course he can tell when you want to cry. Of course he notices the freckle next to your eye and the birthmark on your hip. Don’t all friends?
Your stomach stumbles and you get up, tripping to get to your small bedroom before Steve sees the tears. You and him had a small budget apartment shopping, but it was yours, and that’s what mattered.
You’re grateful when Steve seemingly doesn’t follow, though he stands behind the door petrified. He’s the reason you’re hiding away, he’s the reason he can hear racketing sobs, and he doesn’t know what he did.
He thinks for a moment, that you must know what he’s been thinking lately.
Stay while in your slumber, tumble under, and never wake.
Family video is cold without you.
Steve doesn’t think there was ever a Family Video shift he didn’t work with you, and your vanishment has completely left him an absence of a boy.
Not that you quit or anything drastic like that.
Called in sick, is what Robin had said, and when Steve didn’t believe her, he’d had no choice but to tell the nosy girl what had happened the night before.
She’d sympathized with him like a good friend should, but that didn’t mean she agreed with him. She sometimes wish he had more interesting drama. He’d make a better coworker best friend.
“I mean, how do you think she feels, Steve?”
They sit on the floor of Family video behind the counter. Besides the establishment being empty of you, it was also devoid of customers, like your light drew them in. And they weren’t going to stand a ten hour shift if they hadn’t needed to.
His attention catches, looking up from the boxes Robin hands him to snap shut and throw in a crate. “What?”
She, unlike Steve, doesn’t look up, focused on the repetitious task of opening movie boxes, and stamping their return. “She’s your best friend of, what, 15 years?”
He doesn’t understand where she’s getting at, eyebrows scrunched in pure confusion. So what? “What does that have to do with this?”
Robin heaves a sigh, letting the stamp clunk down onto the hardwood loudly. If she notices Steve cringe, she makes no attempt to apologize. “I’m sure it gets tiring watching you go on date after date.”
“I do not go on ‘date after date.’” His pointed glare fails to cut through Robin.
“How many boyfriends has she had, Steve?”
On a normal day these questions would be tolerated. Today, they are not. “I don’t see what you’re getting at, Robin.”
She sighs again, more exasperated than before. His heart trips meanly at his friend being frustrated with him. “It hurts her feelings, Steve.” His head turns, Robin marches on. “I mean, she’s the only constant girl in your life, besides me, and you haven’t made a move!”
“That doesn’t mean anything.” His head shakes. “I just don’t want to lose her.”
“Did you want to lose me when you told me you loved me in the Starcourt toilets?”
Won't you tell her that you love her? And you'll hug her, most every day.
“I did not tell you I loved you.” His eyes roll. “Besides, I tell her I love her.”
Robin nods encouragingly. “That’s great, but is it the same way you told me you loved me?”
Steve loves Robin. It’s a deep twisting love that Steve is not ashamed to admit to anyone who asks, but even he knows that’s not the same love he holds for you. It’s different. Your his person. He feels a little sick.
“I think you should see sense, Steve.” Robin shrugs.
His hand runs over his eyes. “Thanks, Robs.”
“You’re welcome.” She chirps. “I just miss her here is all.”
Steve let’s his first smile of the day slip. “Is all.” He mimics
She laughs louder than him. “Shut up and finish your pile, you’re slowing me down.”
Walk a while in her summer, she is the drummer, of your beating heart.
Summer days are so much better when your best friend isn’t acting weird.
Weird is harsh.
The sun beating down heavily, your warm foggy head lays in Robins lap. Her fingers work through your hair, untangling tiny knots your brush didn’t glide through this morning. It’s nice. You breathe through your nose softly.
“Getting sleepy?” Robin murmurs, quiet in contrast to the shrieks of happy teenagers fifty feet away.
“No,” you huff, adjusting comfortably on her thigh, “just bored.”
“Hear that.” She nods, though only Steve can see. They’d wanted an outside day, wanted to skate and run and work themselves in the heat of the sun. Who was Steve to say no to that?
The blanket a languid tangle of teenage young adult limbs, he stares at the notable gap between your thigh and his. It’s raging and wide as the Mississippi River. He can’t stand it.
“What’s for dinner?” Robin asks into the air, but you know it’s not directed towards you.
“I don’t know,” Steve yanks a blade of grass from the ground. It’s soft between his fingers as his thumb glides against the smooth surface. He chucks it at Robin. “Ask the children’s mothers.”
She sniffs out as it hits her nose, he grimaces as she gently pulls it from where it’s landed in your hair. “Come on, you’re not gonna feed them?”
“What kind of dad are you, Steve?” You murmur into Robin’s thigh, tickling her softly.
He watches you, eyes still closed, reach out and flick his knee. It’s the first time you’ve directly touched him this entire evening. It sets off something awful in his chest.
“I mean- shit you know we gotta pay the electric,” His head shakes. “Can’t exactly afford Happy Meals for six.”
You sigh, ignoring Robin’s displeased mumble as you sit up. “I already paid electric, Steve.”
He doesn’t understand, tugging the brim of his cap down confusedly. Love will keep us together, it reads. Robin teased him for it, but he knew it was your favorite. “But we usually split that?”
“Just wanted to get ahead of things,” you shrug, not quite making eye contact. “figured you’d have some extra money for things like this.”
He hates the sincerity in your voice, eyeing your fingers as they tug the hem of his shorts absentmindedly. “You didn’t have to do that, babe.”
You shrug again, dropping your head back into Robin’s warm lap. “Wanted to.”
His head thumps with heat, or longing. He can’t tell them apart, covering his cool eyes from the heat of the sun with his hat. If it helps, he’ll know which the problem was.
Lucas is the first one to come running hungry. His nimble fingers punch a yellow straw into his capri sun, sucking greedily. Robin swats his hand when it overflows onto sticky fingers, mumbling something about the blanket. He doesn’t mind, tossing it into the grass.
“I’m hungry.”
“Hi, hungry.” You smile, though you don’t look up from your resting spot. Robin snorts at the unfunny joke, Steve cringes.
“Is she okay?”
“Just warm.” You nod, peeking at him. His visor covers the run from his eyes protectively, your eyes glint in a tease you won’t let slip. “We’re getting food soon.”
“Food?” Max drops to the blanket, kicking Lucas in the ribs softly, teasingly.
“We’re getting Happy Meals.” You affirm, reaching up to pull her thick red hair from her sweaty neck. Mike displeases.
“We’re not kids anymore.”
“You love the apple slices.” Wills elbow knocks Mikes.
“I could go for a Happy Meal.” Dustin disagrees with Mike. Max hums something of an agreement.
“Dollar menu.” Steve corrects, fighting off the petulant whines of 16 year olds in his ears. He’ll be buying you something pretty.
Don't you try to push or shove her, Find another, Or she'll walk away
The days following slow Steve down. Mentally and physically.
He doesn’t want to get up for work, doesn’t want to be ignored by you, to get a small smile for something that usually gets him your shining laugh.
You paid the electric in full so he could pocket some cash. He’d called the company that night to double check.
Not that he didn’t trust the veracious words from your mouth, it just startled him. You didn’t have to do that. You shouldn’t have done that. You’re a team, teams talk about these things.
He can’t help but feel that he’s the reason you haven’t talked to him.
You go grocery shopping and he could be sick. You buy for the both of you. Your fruit, his protein powder. Your snacks, your snacks x2 so Steve can share without feeling guilty. It’s a low punch to the gut.
It kills him that you do these things. These little things that splay your love embarrassingly on a table. You remember he doesn’t like Dawn dish soap and get Meyers instead. What is love if not attention? He doesn’t deserve it.
So he makes it up to you.
He does the dishes while your away, cleans the kitchen and stocks your coffee pods when they run low. Tiny acts he hopes won’t go unnoticed by you.
Though, this new act is not so tiny.
Creasing in the palm of his hand, the rough material of a tote bag handle squeezes. It’s warm, and slightly wet, from the warmth of his nervous hand. Is this too much? He’d got the prettiest bunch there, wrapping it in brown crinkle paper, cause no girl wants flowers in plastic Nancy had told him once.
He’s grateful to the teenage memory of her. A mental note to thank her.
Standing in front of your closed wood door, he can hear the loud music of the vinyl Robin had gotten you for Christmas last year. A thoughtful present, really, though you had to buy a record player to use it. You’d made Steve promise to never tell her, accepting the gift in a warm hug. She’d seemed really pleased.
“She's a woman in a dream, one that makes you fall in love”
He knocks, low enough to play it off if you don’t hear. But you do, of course you do.
There’s a soft shuffle. A click and a sputter of a record player dying down, a bed being situation on, and then a “Yes?”
He breathes out, turning the knob. It’s cold, and the gold paint chips off every so often, but it’s in your apartment that you and Steve pay for with your grown up jobs. If you could call family video that.
He can’t make himself walk in, leaving against the doorframe anxiously with his arms over his chest. It was supposed to be natural with you, you were his person. So why’d this feel so awful.
“I got you something.” He chokes out.
“You did?” Your eyes peak down at the brown paper crinkling out the tote bag. The sight of Steve Harrington with a tote bag. Where is your Polaroid?
Padding into your room cautiously, he pulls the flowers out gently. They’re rough around the edges, you can’t deny. Cleaned and snipped, you can see the spots he hadn’t meant to knick, and the way the paper dents in places it shouldn’t. “Still your favorite?” He hands them to you, still so gently.
“Yes,” you whisper, shocked beyond repair. “And the brown paper.”
“Eh,” he scratches his neck sheepishly. “Nance once told me girls didn’t like plastic wrapped flowers. I hope it’s not too fancy schmancy”
“I love any flowers.” Your honest voice mumbles. He almost doesn’t hear you as you look up to him. “Thank you.”
“It’s no problem.” He nods. He opens his mouth to say something, closing it silently. Your amused smile rings around his head.
“Yes?”
His fingers twitch. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
You choke a swallow. “What are you talking about?”
“The dates.”
“The dates?” The space between your eyebrows crease like the paper in your hands. “Those never made me uncomfortable.”
“I just-“ He breathes out, dejected. “Never?”
Your brain sputters. “Did you want them to?”
“No?” He panics. “No, no!” His head shakes furiously. “Just, Robin said-“
He’s cut off by your loud laugh. “That was your first mistake.”
His head cocks.
“Taking advice from her.” You give with a shrug. He coughs, startled.
“Yeah,” he nods, serious, definite. “Yeah, you’re right.”
“I mean, I love her, but this is the girl that had a crush on a Nashville wannabe for three years.”
He huffs a laugh that’s not all there. “Still don’t see what she saw in her.” His head shakes.
You squint, his dejected limpness detected quickly by your roaming eyes. “A voice only a mother could love.” You beg a laugh from him.
His shoulder shakes and his eyes flick to the posters covering the off white of your walls.
“Ok,” he breathes, patting his hip. “well I’ll get out of your hair.” He nods to himself. “Just wanted to give those to you.”
“Thank you, Stevie.”
The nickname pinches him and it hurts. He nods to you this time. “Anytime, bug.”
Ouch.
Crestfallen as a kicked puppy, he heads for the door. The sight stomps your heart.
Your weak voice stops him. “They never made me uncomfortable, but maybe a little jealous?”
He turns. “What?”
“I mean-“ your head tilts to the side, slowly shrugging. “It wasn’t fun hearing about Cass,”
“Carrie.”
“Carrie, and the other girls.” You pause. “Even if you never gave me the details.”
You tread a line of no return. Steve kicks you forward.
“But jealous?” He whispers.
You shrug, sheepish. “Yeah.”
“Oh.”
Your esophagus closes, no longer letting you swallow without a fight. That hurt. “Yeah,” you repeat. “Oh.”
The silence is deafening. Wow, you think.
You bring your fingers up to scrub tired eyes. They burn from your lack of sleep and the tears that threaten to front. “Maybe let’s just forget this?” Your shoulders deflate and he hates the crack in the end of the sentence.
“What?”
“Your ‘oh’ said a lot,” you breathe out self consciously. “So let’s just drop it before we can’t take back our words.”
Before we can’t take back our words.
“But I want that.” Steve frowns. “I want to not take it back.” He’s scared of tightness in his chest.
You pause. “Oh.”
He smiles. “Yeah,” he copies you. “Oh.”
It’s quiet after that. The whirring fan above you clicking with each turn. What do you say to that? This boy, the object of your affection for god knows how long, reciprocates your love.
“Wow.”
He laughs, his eyes squinting. “Right?”
“What wouldn’t you be able to take back?” You push lightly, daring a look at him. His hair mussed, his shirt wrinkled, you know he’s lost as much sleep over this as you.
“That-“ he starts slowly “That I’ve been into you since I was 14.”
You sit in quiet apprehension. The corners of his mouth ache from the smile he can’t wipe away.
“That I date to find a girl who compares to you,” His head tilts. “and they don’t.”
“We’re so stupid.”
“Just a little.” He grabs your arms gently and pulls you up to stand under him. The way he looks down at you kills the butterflies in your stomach and replaces them with something stronger. He tucks hair behind your ear, admiring. “You’re the nicest girl I’ve ever met, even when I don’t deserve it.”
You paw at his chest. “Stop.” You murmur.
He shakes his head. “You tolerate me to an extent I don’t understand, but I’m grateful.”
“I don’t tolerate you, idiot.” Your lips bend down. “I like you.”
He agrees quietly, not wanting to ruin the moment with his insecurity. “You know, before I talked to Robin I thought you were upset because you could read my mind?”
Your head shakes, amusedly disbelieved. “I take back what i said earlier, going to Robin for advice was amazing.”
“Shut up,” he pushes you back without letting go. “I thought you were hearing how much I wanted to kiss you.”
Your nose scrunches. “That’s so silly.”
“So silly.” He agrees, swaying you forward and backwards. “Is it silly that I want to kiss you now?”
“No,” you whisper. “I already knew that,” your face is stony faux seriousness. “I read your mind.”
He snorts, bending down to press his lips to your own. It’s soft and slow. His lips are smooth and if you didn’t know him like you do, you wouldn’t know he’s been using aquaphor since he was 18.
He pulls back gently and kisses you again quicker. “You’re so soft.” His fingers itch to slide from your waist and pull you in by your belt loops.
“Your chapstick.” You murmur, dazed.
“That shit is $9,” You know his annoyance isn’t real. “I need you to write me a check for what you owe me.”
“Can I pay you back in kisses?”
He pauses. “One kiss is .50 cents.” His eyes close, dramatizing his seriousness. “I need 18 kisses on the lips now.”
On the lips. You laugh at his wording. “I think we can make that work.”
She is what our love is made of.
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shayyprasad · 3 months
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skittles | peter parker
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summary: peter likes to pick on your size.
warnings: ...short... shaming...? idk it's supposed to be an attempt at fluff
pairing: peter parker x short!fem!reader
word count: 0.67k+ words
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peter parker loved you, no doubt, and he also happened to love making fun of you.
"ughhh, peter just give it to me!" you whined, reaching for the remote he held way up above you.
"what do we say when we want something?"
"give it to me or i'll snap your neck," you said, despite the fact the both of you knew it wasn't possible. but, hey, we're all for empty threats.
"mmm, close. but no."
"give!"
"being tall is so much fun."
"you've stooped down too far to be considered tall now."
"awww, wittle y/n is angwy!"
you gave him a warning stare, and he grinned in response. whining again, you tugged at his shirt. peter had the most smug look on his face, and you just wanted to slap it right off, "beg, shorty."
you gasped, "no! and i'm not that short! i'm- i'm... just below average."
"okay, okay. you're not short. you're," pete paused, thinking, before his eyes lit up, "you're fun-sized!"
"i'm sorry, what? how is that any better?!"
"aw, c'mon, that's adorable!"
"fun-sized!" you repeated, frowning. "how on any earth is that any better?"
"no, no, it's better! like- like... skittles!"
"...skittles? the candy?"
"well, yeah."
"the candy? did you just compare to to candy?"
"i guess. but, wait, if it's any consolation, you totally taste better."
"peter!"
"what?"
"give me the remoteeee. i wanna watch gilmore girls!"
"you've seen it a million times."
"boo-hoo. it's my turn."
he tsked, "okay. but you gotta get the remote first."
"peter, i swear i'll end your supply of kisses. for a lifetime."
the boy gasped, "you'd never, skittles."
"no. i don't like that name. i like 'angel'. call me that. not skittles."
"but it's so cute! and it fits!"
you simply glared at him. "so does angel!"
"meh. and it is," peter insisted.
"it most definitely is not."
"well, of course you don't like it. you're fun-sized."
"not. fun-sized. that's so much worse then being called half-pint! or oompa-loompa! actually, is it bad that i prefer pee-wee? or stumpy?"
"no, i think i like skittles."
"peteeeee. babyyyy."
"yes?" he asked, teasing.
"give me the damn remote," then after a second, "please?"
"hmmm-"
"you know what?" you said, tossing your hair over your shoulder, "no kisses."
"nah, you'd-"
"they've been revoked."
"but-"
"re-voked."
"ski-"
you snapped your head back at him, raising an eyebrow.
peter smirked, "skittles."
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true to your word, you'd refused to kiss him the rest of that day and into the next. unfortunately for you, he was taking it great.
peter seemed to really like that nickname, but it didn't matter. you'd break him.
probably.
"skittles!"
you groaned loudly, muttering curses under your breath. from across the hall, you could see peter, a bright grin on his face. shoving things in your locker, you refused to give him any good attention.
who's skittles?
"not me," you muttered under your breath.
"hi," peter said, leaning in for a kiss, which you dodged. peter pouted, "still?"
"yes."
"oh, well. hey! i got you something!"
"ooh, really," you asked, breaking character.
he chuckled, "peace offering." peter tossed something at you, which you managed to catch. looking down at it, you groaned once again, glancing back up at his stupid face.
"seriously?" you asked.
it was a pack of fun-sized skittles.
"you likey?"
"no. me not likey." but since you were hungry, you tore the bag open. before you could get any, he grabbed some.
"hey! those are mine!"
peter plopped them in his mouth, "i gave them to you."
"exactly, so they're mine now!"
he opened his mouth, sticking out his tongue, "want them back?"
"ew, no!" you crossed your arms, "i'm telling may."
"oh, yeah? what'll she do?"
"ummm.... ground you."
"she can't ground me. i'm spider-man."
you smirked, eating an orange skittle. "remind me again, does she know that?"
"no- hey!"
"that's right." you stood in triumph, closing your eyes briefly. in that moment, catching you off-guard, he kissed you. forgetting momentarily of what you said you wouldn't do, you kissed him back, smiling lightly.
pete smiled, "tastes like skittles."
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littleredwing89 · 1 year
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PRINCE OF GOTHAM - PART 1
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PRINCE OF GOTHAM
CEO!Jason Todd x Reader
Warnings – Language. NSFW Smut. 
A/N: Please remember this is a revised version of “The Intern” but swapped out Roman for Jason. Some other characters are changed too, hopefully you’ll enjoy the cameos etc. I’ve tweaked parts of the story here and there so it suits better. I hope you all enjoy xoxo much love. Let me know if you want a tag list / to be on the tag list.
*** 
Roy lounged back in his leather office chair and smirked as Jason sauntered in without knocking. “And what do I owe this displeasure?”.
“Just wanted to see how things were going, you know, it is my company after all”, Jason glanced around the office. Roy liked to keep things minimal, although the addition of the little cactus was new. An almost feminine touch. He made a note to question him about that later. He’d never known Harper to take an interest in plants before.
As the office door closed behind him, arguing erupted outside, barely concealed by the walls. He raised his eyebrow and looked through the window seeing a short, stumpy man in a suit become red and blotchy in the face.
“I don’t know why we still pay that moron”, Roy grunted and waved his hand to the disagreement outside. The stubby man, Eric, was tugging at his tie as a more feminine voice dressed him down confidently.
“I can have HR carry out a performance review if you’d like”.
Jason glanced out between the blinds and saw you storm around one of the desks, straight into his vision, hands flying violently as you spoke. He swallowed as his eyes followed you; a tight fitting grey pencil skirt paired with a wine silk blouse. He raised an eyebrow in interest. Your hair was pinned up in a messy bun, strands falling down to frame your petite face. Lips painted a deep shape of rouge. You laughed venomously before pointing to one of the free standing boards, a colourful diagram adorning it. Eric shook his head and turned away, only infuriating you more. Jason smirked, enjoying the little show.
“She’s been here 5 minutes…down boy”, Roy chuckled and grabbed something from his printer. Scrawling his signature across the bottom.
“You say that like you'd wait even 30 seconds”, Jason scoffed, a little embarrassed and slightly impressed at how well Roy could read him.
Roy looked up from the papers and grinned, “I give at least 3 to 5 working days as a courtesy before I pounce”.
Jason felt his stomach churn at the thought. He spun around quicker than he would have liked and raised an eyebrow, “Oh...so you’ve tried then?”.
“What’s it to you if I have?”, Roy grinned, noticing Jason’s reaction.
“I want to see if she has taste”, Jason quipped and turned his attention back to the escalating discussion outside. Hoping to hide the pink tinting his cheeks. You’d now dragged the whiteboard across to Eric, jabbing at one of the PowerPoint slides before rubbing your temples in frustration.
Roy scoffed to hide the laughter before getting out of his seat strolling across to Jason to hand him the signed papers, “You know, she’s the woman that saved you 500 grand last week”.
Jason frowned upon taking the paperwork from Roy, “I don't remember hearing about it”.
The white haired man shrugged to the shouting, “Take a wild guess why, Todd”.
“He played it as his own victory?”, Jason’s gaze fell back to you. Eric was crossing over your work on the board with an ugly red marker, sneering at you. Jason felt his temper surge at the blatant disregard for your hard work and effort. His brow creased at the unfamiliar emotions swimming in the back of his mind.
Roy slapped him on the shoulder suddenly, a dark grin on his lips, “Oh! So you do have a brain”.
Jason rolled his eyes, rolling his broad shoulders, “Contrary to popular belief, yes I do”.
Roy laughed deeply as he watched you with Jason through the window, your irritation bubbling over as you repeatedly jabbed your pen to the graphs on the board, voice becoming louder with every word, “She’s a real pistol”.
“I can see”, Jason hummed appreciatively as you stalked off towards the coffee room, the skirt pulling tight against you, highlighting the curve of your ass perfectly. 
Eric looked flustered as the rest of the staff in the room stared at him following the heated exchange. He shouted something to them, causing them all to bow their heads behind their computer screens. Roy grumbled something under his breath Jason couldn’t make out. Eric turned towards Roy’s office and stiffened when he saw both men watching him. Jason smirked at him, giving a subtle wave before turning to Roy, “You know what, I will send HR down this week to investigate”.
***
You checked yourself in the mirror of the elevator again, nerves making your stomach somersault. The dress had been an extravagant splurge but the moment you laid your eyes on it, you knew you had to have it. It was a floor length, backless crimson dress with a daring thigh split. You ran your hands down the front of the fabric, the satin soothing your clammy palms.
Your hair was curled loosely and draped down your bare shoulders, lips a dark red to match your dress. Briefly, you hoped, you hadn’t gone overboard with your outfit. The invitation had said ‘formal wear’. The elevator dinged and before you could think too much, the doors slid open revealing you to the party. You heard someone gasp in the distance and that’s when the entire room turned to your direction.
You were used to people staring at you in the office because of your fiery attitude but this was different. You felt your skin prickle. An odd sensation driving through your nerves. Everyone had paused to stare at you as you stepped into the room. The music faded in the back of your mind, replaced by the hammering of your heart. You straightened yourself and strode into the room with all the false confidence you could muster.
His eyes. Jason. You could feel them burning more than anyone else’s. He’d stopped mid sentence when you entered the room, cigarette left smoking in his hand. He was surrounded by his executive team, including your area manager, Mr Harper. Whilst you felt heat spreading across your cheeks, you felt somewhat pleased you’d stunned your loud mouthed CEO into silence. Roy had slapped Jason on the back, a dark smirk on his face drawing his attention away from you. He glared at Roy before taking a long drag from his cigarette, continuing with his conversation as though nothing had happened. The group of suited men dissolved into barks of laughter.
You needed a large drink. Preferably a strong one too if you wanted to last the night. You headed straight towards the bar, as fast as your towering heels would allow.
———
Jason patted one of the executives on the shoulder, making his excuses before striding across to you as you leaned against the bar, your bare back on full display. He swallowed thickly, you looked majestic under the glittering fairy lights draped around the room.
He settled next to you at the bar, clearing his throat before speaking, the deep timber of his voice rattled your core, “I think...I've seen your face before”.
You rolled your eyes at the terrible opening line before turning to face him. The black suit fitted him perfectly, showcasing his broad shoulders, his blood red tie knotted tightly against the collar of his crisp white shirt.
“Probably during one of your lonely nights over a bottle of chardonnay”, you lazily waved your hand at him.
Jason smirked at your attitude and laughed, “You think I’m chatting you up princess?”.
You pursed your lips together, nodding, “It certainly sounded that way to me and I really don’t know what else you would do after swaggering away from that crowd just to talk to lil’ old me”.
“I simply had to talk to the woman who stunned the room into silence”, his smooth voice sent shivers over your skin, oozing charm. You imagined it worked on every woman he encountered. It almost worked on you.
“Very smooth Mr Todd”, you teased and tried to wave the bartender down with no luck. You sighed and cursed under your breath.
Jason clicked his fingers, drawing the attention of the waiter immediately, “Two large glasses of Malbec please”, he winked at you when the bartender reached to the top shelf of liquor, “I know who you are”, Jason gave you a devilish smile, “You’re the 500 grand woman”.
“Y/N”, you winked and wiggled your finger at him in a joking fashion. The grin on your face widened when the wine was set down in front of you both. The rich, spicy smell drifted up your nose.
You dug your hand into your purse but Jason shook his head, “It’s on me”.
“Oh”, you clicked your tongue playfully, “You’re too kind”, you smirked at him.
Jason wouldn’t admit it, but he knew exactly who you were. He hadn’t been able to get you out of his mind since he laid his eyes on you last month. Your spitfire attitude had spread through the office and you’d made quite a name for yourself. Cutting impressive deals and smart talking anyone who tried to shoot you down. The only thing Jason had lacked was an opportunity to talk to you.
He held up his glass of whiskey and looked down at you, his dark eyes sweeping over your face, “A toast”, he leaned down towards you, his hot breath fanned across your cheek, “To Y/N”, his voice dipped lower, a gravelly rasp, “The most beautiful, enticing woman in the room”.
“You forgot to add smart”, your voice sounded more breathy than you intended, giving Jason an idea of the effect he was having over you.
He winked, “The most beautiful, enticing, smart mouthed woman in the room”.
“To me”.
You clinked your glass with his before bringing it to your lips, taking a long sip. The alcohol burnt your throat in the best way, the deep red of your lipstick staining the rim of the glass. Jason couldn’t help but stare at the smudge, wondering if it would stain as nicely on his skin.
Downing the drink in one, Jason placed the glass on the bar, the bartender rushed over quickly, leaving the bottle of red wine next to Jason before scurrying off. Your tongue darting across your lips, savouring the taste of the luxurious drink.
Jason watched you closely, you felt alive under his burning stare, “I hope you’re enjoying working for The Iceberg Lounge”.
“Of course, Sir”.
He swallowed the growl threatening to escape his lips. The way you said it. The way your lips wrapped around the word Sir, how easily it rolled off your tongue. He took a deep breath. You riled him up with little to no effort.
You glanced around the gala, almost everyone from The Iceberg had turned up. Hundreds of people were braying in the room. Dancing, drinking, laughing and screeching. The music thudded in the background, the bass thrumming through your body. You had to hand it to Jason, he certainly knew how to host a company party. Well a man in charge of a chain of bars should really.
Jason gripped the bottle of wine swiftly, “It's getting rather lively in here princess, fancy a drink and a smoke on the balcony?”.
You nodded, grabbing your clutch from the bar. You sashayed through the crowd easily, Jason following close behind you. Slinking through the throes of people, you smirked to yourself. You were playing with fire but, you had to admit, you liked the heat that came with it.
———
When you stepped out onto the balcony, the cool night breeze whipped around your body, nipping the bare skin on show. You shuddered slightly, looking up at the night sky. You were high enough that you could finally see the stars. They twinkled innocently, making you smile to yourself.
Jason placed the bottle of red on a nearby table, looking across at you. You looked even more stunning under the midnight stars. He coughed deeply, working his way across to the railing you were leaning against, “I’m surprised that you came alone, I find it hard to believe you struggled to get a date”.
You turned to him, your chandelier earrings dangling in the breeze, they captured the starlight and flickered elegantly, “I like coming to these things alone”, you mused, a coy smirk on your painted lips, “I like to see who else has come alone”.
“Oh”, he inched closer, the soft brush of his suit jacket against your bare arm made you flush, “So you’re on the lookout?”.
“Maybe”, your fingers wrapped around the metal bar and you looked over the edge. The bustle of Gotham City never ceased to amaze you, even at this height. And there you were, gazing at it with its unofficial Prince standing next to you.
Jason grinned, letting a cool finger stroke down your upper arm, “I might be able to help with that”.
You smirked, looking up catching his heated stare, “Are you going to introduce me to one of your rich friends?”.
“Trust me princess, they’re not your type”, he scoffed, his eyes tracing down the neckline of your dress, mapping every inch of your tantalising skin. He noticed a faint sparkle of glitter on your skin, along with a subtle scent of vanilla invading his senses.
Moving away from the balcony edge, you stepped into his space, fingers grasping the end of his tie, playing with it gently, “And what is my type?”.
Jason felt an unmatched desire burning in his gut when your hands toyed with his tie. He took a deep breath before cornering you into the balcony railing. His eyes were hooded with lust, “I know exactly what it is”.
The bitter metal pressed into your lower back and you bit back the moan creeping up your throat, desperate to escape. You snaked your hand up his solid chest and straightened out his shirt collar, “Well don't keep me in suspense, Sir”.
It was taking all of his self restraint not to bend you over the balcony and rail you from behind, especially when you kept calling him Sir. His hands gripped the balcony bar behind you, knuckles white from the force. Jason smirked, his voice dropping several octaves, “I can show you instead princess”.
The heat from his body was addictive and you leaned into it without thinking, breath catching in your throat. His aftershave was intoxicating and you felt your mind spinning. Jason pulled back suddenly and offered you his hand.
You slipped your hand into his and bit your plump bottom lip, “People are going to see us leaving together”.
“So?”, Jason shrugged, “Then they know we're going to have some fun, aren't we princess?”.
You shivered, letting his words drip over you. Oh the night was yet to begin and your heart was thrumming with excitement. You secured your fingers through his and started to pull him back inside so you could both leave.
“Of course Sir”.
The second you were back inside, Jason’s free hand wound around your waist, guiding you towards the elevators. He leaned down, hot breath fanning down your sensitive neck, “Yours or mine?”.
You pressed the down button on the lift pad a little more enthusiastically than you would have liked. You felt him smirk behind you, fingers digging into your flesh.
“Mine”, you whispered before slipping into the cart when the doors sprung open.
———
The taxi ride back to your apartment was filled with subtle touches and increasing tension. You’d expected Jason to pounce on you the second you slid into the backseat but he didn’t, simply keeping one arm around your shoulder, the other resting on your exposed knee drawing feather light circles.
“Keep the change”, Jason muttered, shoving a wad of cash through the divider before helping you out of the car.
His hand pressed into your lower back, rough fingers scraping against your soft skin. You shuddered, excited to feel his touch exploring the rest of your body. You led him through the marble floored lobby and up a flight of stairs, stopping outside of your door to retrieve your keys from your clutch.
His lips pressed into the junction of your neck, tongue lapping over your skin which flushed rapidly under his touch, “Hurry up princess”. You felt Jason’s hand stroke up the front of your dress, palming your breast greedily before pinching your nipple.
You gasped at the rush of sensations, almost dropping your keys. The overload of his touches made you shudder and your eyes close, head dipping forward.
“Unless you want me to fuck you out here for everyone to see, I suggest you get that door open”, he growled, lips teasing the shell of your ear. His cock was straining against his suit trousers as he brushed it against your ass, groaning quietly.
Steadying your hands and your frayed mind, you slotted the key into your door, opening it as quickly as possible. Before you had any time to think, Jason crushed you against it, slamming it shut, his lips plastered to yours in a frenzied heat.
You moaned, the noise swallowed by his mouth as his tongue glided along yours. He could still taste the wine on your lips, mingling with your own sweet flavour. You dropped your bag and ran your hands up his chest, reaching his tie. Tugging it hard, you loosened it, enough to free him of it and start unbuttoning his shirt.
Jason smirked and sunk his teeth into your bottom lip, enjoying the gasp of pleasure you released. You looked into his darkened gaze, giving him a sweet innocent smile before pushing him back against the hallway wall. His eyebrows lifted in surprise but he allowed you control, stroking the pads of his fingers up and down your spine.
With the last button popped open, your nails dragged down to his belt, unfastening it slowly, licking your lips.
“I bet this is what you thought about didn’t you?”, you teased, unzipping his trousers and pushing them down, slowly, “Me on my knees for you, swallowing your thick cock”.
You palmed him through his boxers, watching his face twist with held back desire. Your lips curved and you dropped to your knees, eye level with his hard shaft.
Jason groaned quietly, fingers tangling in your hair, gripping tighter when your lips ghosted over the outline of his throbbing cock.
“Princess”, he warned huskily, voice laced heavy with lust.
The stings of pain as he pulled your hair shot down to your core, lighting up all of your nerves. You mewled and mouthed his tip, “I thought about it too…Sir”.
His hips rutted towards your face at your words and you grinned. You pulled his boxers down slowly, watching as his cock sprung free, slapping against his rippled abs. Your mouth watered at the sight, aching for him to sink into both your throat and pussy.
You nipped along his thick, muscled thighs, your lipstick smearing as you neared his pulsing length. He tensed with each bite and growled loudly, cock twitching with excitement.
“Princess if you keep-”, the words died in his throat when the wet heat of your mouth encased his cock in one swift motion. His head flung back, eyes scrunched shut at the feeling.
You purred around his shaft, tongue fluttering along the underside, tracing the vein there. Your hands stroked up and down his thighs as you worked your lips around him. Bobbing your head back and forth.
Each time you whined around him, the vibrations buzzed up his spine, sending his mind into a delirious haze of pleasure.
“Fuck!”, he grunted and fisted his hands into your hair, thrusting forward into your hot mouth.
The head of his cock nudged the back of your throat and you gagged around his cock, whimpering with desire. He caught his breath and looked down at you, eyes black with passion.
“Your lips look perfect wrapped around my big cock”, he smirked and thrust harder into your mouth, the wet, sinful sounds echoing in the hallway of your apartment.
Your pussy was soaked and each time you shuffled, the lace of your thong rubbed against your clit. The sensation made your skin flush but it wasn’t enough. You needed him.
Jason sucked his bottom lip between his teeth as he watched you swallow his cock. Your once perfect lipstick was smudged all over your mouth. Some stained his length. He groaned as you pulled back, tracing your tongue over the slit of his tip, hands kneading his inner thighs perfectly.
“Sir-please…”, your voice was raw as you spoke, wide eyes searching his, “I want you”.
He let his thumb run over your bottom lip, enjoying the way your lips wrapped around it without second thought, sucking softly. Jason dipped it down your chin before hooking it underneath, “Come here”.
You stood slowly, adjusting the strap of your dress which had fallen down your arm. Jason bracketed your hips and lifted you easily, letting your toned legs wrap around his waist. His lips moulded to yours, kissing you deeply. He could faintly taste himself on your tongue, the bitter arousal sparking through his body.
———
He carried you with ease through your apartment, occasionally banging into things along the way.
“Second d-door”, you moaned loudly when he bit your shoulder, “on the-the right”.
When you finally made it into your bedroom, after several stops along the way with Jason shoving you into the nearest wall, he dropped you down onto the bed.
You inched up the bedding slowly, watching him with hooded eyes as he stripped off the rest of his clothes. You made no show of hiding how much you admired his finely sculpted body. You licked your lips as his muscles flexed when he knelt onto the bed, grabbing one of your ankles.
“You’re wearing too many clothes”, he complained as his fingers travelled up your bare leg before finally reaching the hem of the dress.
“What are you going to do-”, the tear of fabric was loud in the room, Jason’s face was knitted with desire.
“Jason!!”, you scolded loudly as he continued to rip the flimsy material off your body, leaving you bare beneath him in a skimpy lace thong. You watched as he threw the offending material to the floor, his predatory gaze turning back to you.
“Get on your knees”, he commanded, ignoring your protests about your once beautiful dress, “Now”.
You wanted to argue, but the twisting coil in the pit of your stomach made you comply readily. You saw his pleased smirk before you rested your head against your forearms, pressing your ass and core to him.
He whistled appreciatively, slapping his hand over one of your cheeks. You moaned wantonly, muffling your cries into the flesh of your arm.
“Don’t you dare”, he growled and spanked you harder, your skin becoming hot and prickly, “I want to hear every sound you make”.
The thong you had on framed your ass perfectly, barely covering your glistening pussy. He smoothed two fingers through your silken core, sinking them into you slowly. Jason grunted when your walls tried to pull him further.
He removed his hand and spread your wetness along the back of your thigh, pushing your thong to the side. You whined in protest at the loss of sensation and pushed back. Jason gripped your hips tightly, halting your movement, “Tell me what you want princess”.
Heat crept over your flushed skin as he teased you, the tip of his cock sweeping through your sopping folds. You ignored his question and circled your hips, mewling his name.
He grabbed a fistful of your hair and yanked your head back forcefully, teeth grazing the sensitive spot on your neck, “I said, tell me what you want”.
“Your cock”, your moans were depraved as you felt the overload of euphoria thrumming through your veins, “I want you to fuck me”.
Jason kissed the spot behind your ear, sucking a mark there before muttering, “Where are your manners princess?”.
You dug your nails into the sheets below in frustration before panting desperately, “Please Sir, please fuck me”.
He chuckled darkly behind you, tugging your hair again, before sinking his cock into your pussy fully. You cried out at the delicious sting as he stretched your walls with his thick girth.
Jason gave you no time to adjust before slamming his hips back into yours harshly, keeping your hair wound around his fist as he thrust into you.
The air was filled with the sounds of your debauched moans and his skin slapping into yours. Your eyes rolled into the back of your head as your first orgasm hit you without any warning.
Jason cursed behind you as your velvet walls spasmed around his cock, pulling him deeper. His thrusts became shallow as he drove harder into you, working you through your climax.
Changing the angle of his thrusts, the head of his shaft slammed against your g spot repeatedly as he ploughed faster into your pussy. You sobbed his name into the bed sheets, gripping them tightly. You were certain your nails were going to rip through the fabric.
“That’s it princess”, he coaxed, tugging your hair back, “I know you’ve got another one for me”. He snaked his hand around your front, rubbing over your clit furiously.
“Jason!”, you cried his name loudly, vision going blank as he fucked you into another powerful climax. You felt his cock throbbing inside you as he fell into his own release, emptying himself in your tight core.
“Fuck!”, he rasped, releasing your hair and holding onto your hips as his thrusts slowed down to a complete still.
Pulling out of you, he groaned under his breath as he saw some of his seed drip down your folds. You collapsed down onto the bed, flat on your front, fighting to catch your breath. Jason dropped down next to you, relaxing on his back, his own chest heaving with deep pants.
You hadn’t been fucked like that in a long time. If ever. With the last of your energy, you rolled onto your side, a sly grin on your face, “Got time for another?”. Your fingers stroked down the grooves of his abs, following the dark trail of hair.
Jason grabbed your hand and brought it to his lips, nipping at the pulse on your wrist, “Definitely”.
He pulled you on top of him, his hands moving up to cup your breasts as your lips danced together again, drinking in each other. You knew he would only be here for the night but, you’d be damned if you weren’t going to make the most of it.
***
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istumpysk · 10 months
Text
Operation Stumpy Re-Read
TWOW: Alayne I (Sansa I)
My little lovebug! ❤️
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She's finally here! 🥺
To celebrate, I might just copy and paste the whole gosh darn thing. You've been warned.
Ladies and gentlemen, brace yourselves for the mind-blowing, heart-stopping, epic conclusion of Operation Stumpy Re-Read Project!
Before we dive in, we need to revisit a theory that I proposed in Jon X, ADWD.
The last time we saw Jon's and Sansa's points of view in the same book was A Storm of Swords. You might recall the deliberate placement of their back-to-back chapters was anything but subtle.
The text was often copied verbatim, the situations were perfectly mirrored, and the topics of love, marriage, and family were prevalent in both.
You can view a quick summary of it all here.
That brings us to this chapter. Some of you might not be aware, but George was originally planning to put Alayne I in A Dance with Dragons.
That Sansa chapter I talked about finishing, for instance. It's still finished, but my editor and I decided it belongs in THE WINDS OF WINTER, not A DANCE WITH DRAGONS, so it's been moved into the next book. Sansa will not appear in DANCE. - Not a Blog
Based on the intentional placement of previous Jon and Sansa chapters, I have hypothesized that it should be possible to determine the original planned position of this Alayne chapter.
Below, I will do my best to argue Alayne I, TWOW was originally indented to appear directly before Jon X, ADWD.
Alright, it's time!
She was reading her little lord a tale of the Winged Knight when Mya Stone came knocking on the door of his bedchamber, clad in boots and riding leathers and smelling strongly of the stable. Mya had straw in her hair and a scowl on her face. That scowl comes of having Mychel Redfort near, Alayne knew.
I'm so slow, I'm only now picking up on the vague hints of Jon and Sansa's connection from the highborn-lowborn divide between Mya and Mychel Redfort.
She sounded so like Sansa, so happy and innocent with her dreams. Catelyn smiled, but the smile was tinged with sadness. The Redforts were an old name in the Vale, she knew, with the blood of the First Men in their veins. His love she might be, but no Redfort would ever wed a bastard. His family would arrange a more suitable match for him, to a Corbray or a Waynwood or a Royce, or perhaps a daughter of some greater house outside the Vale. - Catelyn VI, AGOT
She even had a king for a dad!
+.+.+
Why did she have to mention Harry? Alayne thought. We will never get Sweetrobin out of bed now. The boy slapped a pillow. "Send them away. I never asked them here." Mya looked nonplussed. No one in the Vale was better at handling a mule, but lordlings were another matter. "They were invited," she said uncertainly, "for the tourney. I don't…" Alayne closed her book. "Thank you, Mya. Let me talk with Lord Robert, if you would."
Oh look, 13-year-old Sansa is acting 24 again, and can I just mention she's absolutely fantastic at managing her son cousin.
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+.+.+
"I hate that Harry," Sweetrobin said when she was gone. "He calls me cousin, but he's just waiting for me to die so he can take the Eyrie. He thinks I don't know, but I do." "Your lordship should not believe such nonsense," Alayne said. "I'm sure Ser Harrold loves you well." And if the gods are good, he will love me too. Her tummy gave a little flutter.
Back to 13.
Just like Arya and Mercy, you can still find traces of Sansa in Alayne.
+.+.+
"I don't want you to marry him, Alayne. I am the Lord of the Eyrie, and I forbid it." He sounded as if he were about to cry. "You should marry me instead. We could sleep in the same bed every night, and you could read me stories."
In the future, it might be a good idea to ensure that Jon and Sweetrobin are kept apart at all times.
+.+.+
No man can wed me so long as my dwarf husband still lives somewhere in this world. 
I don't know about that.
"Hush, you'll be the death of us. I did nothing. Come, we must away, they'll search for you. Your husband's been arrested."
"Tyrion?" she said, shocked.
"Do you have another husband? The Imp, the dwarf uncle, she thinks he did it." - Sansa V, ASOS
x
When Her Grace suggested that she would be pleased to help arrange marriages for his sons to the daughters of great southern lords, Lord Stark refused brusquely. "We keep the old gods in the North," he told the queen. "When my boys take a wife, they will wed before a heart tree, not in some southron sept." - Fire & Blood
+.+.+
Alayne stroked his fingers. "There, my Sweetrobin, be still now." When the shaking passed, she said, "You must have a proper wife, a trueborn maid of noble birth." "No. I want to marry you, Alayne." Once your lady mother intended that very thing, but I was trueborn then, and noble.
Trust me, this is less than nothing, we're only warming up. I can do way better than this.
(-> -> -> Jon X?)
"Who brings this woman to be wed?" asked Melisandre.
"I do," said Jon. "Now comes Alys of House Karstark, a woman grown and flowered, of noble blood and birth." - Jon X, ADWD
+.+.+
Alayne smoothed his hair. Lady Lysa had never let the servants touch it, and after she had died Robert had suffered terrible shaking fits whenever anyone came near him with a blade, so it had been allowed to grow until it tumbled over his round shoulders and halfway down his flabby white chest. He does have pretty hair. If the gods are good and he lives long enough to wed, his wife will admire his hair, surely. That much she will love about him. 
Mounting evidence that Sansa is plotting to kill Robert Arryn.
Why would he fear a blade?
+.+.+
"The Lord of the Eyrie can do as he likes. Can't I still love you, even if I have to marry her? Ser Harrold has a common woman. Benjicot says she's carrying his bastard." Benjicot should learn to keep his fool's mouth shut.
Lmao.
+.+.+
"Is that what you would have from me? A bastard?" She pulled her fingers from his grasp. "Would you dishonor me that way?" The boy looked stricken. "No. I never meant —" Alayne stood. "If it please my lord, I must go and find my father. Someone needs to greet Lady Waynwood." Before her little lord could find the words to protest, she gave him a quick curtsy and fled the bedchamber [...].
Masterfully done!
This is why I can't have children, I would have locked him in a closet.
+.+.+
When she had left Petyr Baelish that morning he had been breaking his fast with old Oswell who had arrived last night from Gulltown on a lathered horse. 
Did you know that the number of references to Oldtown gradually increases from book to book until it surges in A Storm of Swords, right before the city is formally introduced at the beginning of A Feast for Crows?
Gulltown is on a similar trajectory. The city is referenced nine times in this chapter alone. Nine.
+.+.+
Though snow had blanketed the heights of the Giant's Lance above, below the mountain the autumn lingered and winter wheat was ripening in the fields.
For timeline purposes: Sansa is lagging behind where Brienne and Jon currently are in the story.
Snow in the riverlands. If it was snowing here, it could well be snowing on Lannisport as well, and on King's Landing. Winter is marching south, and half our granaries are empty. Any crops still in the fields were doomed. [...] "I know," Jaime said, "there has been a white raven from the Citadel. Winter has come." - Jaime VII, AFFC
+.+.+
Alayne loved it here. She felt alive again, for the first since her father… since Lord Eddard Stark had died.
Stop.
+.+.+
She hoped they might still be talking, but Petyr's solar proved empty. Someone had left a window open and a stack of papers had blown onto the floor. [...] She closed the window, gathered up the fallen papers, and stacked them on the table. One was a list of the competitors. Four-and-sixty knights had been invited to vie for places amongst Lord Robert Arryn's new Brotherhood of Winged Knights, and four­ and-sixty knights had come to tilt for the right to wear falcon’s wings upon their warhelms and guard their lord.
It is widely speculated she saw something she shouldn't have, but hasn't fully grasped the significance yet.
Did you know there's 64 squares on a chessboard?
+.+.+
The competitors came from all over the Vale, from the mountain valleys and the coast, from Gulltown and the Bloody Gate, even the Three Sisters. Though a few were promised, only three were wed; the eight victors would be expected to spend the next three years at Lord Robert's side, as his own personal guard (Alayne had suggested seven, like the Kingsguard, but Sweetrobin had insisted that he must have more knights than King Tommen), so older men with wives and children had not been invited.
We love a petty king.
so older men with wives and children had not been invited.
Perfect for Blackfish! Where is that former Knight of the Gate? I know he's coming, the ellipsis of truth tells no lies.
And if Ser Brynden should survive this siege, he might be inclined to claim Riverrun in his own name . . . or in the name of young Robert Arryn. - Jaime V, AFFC
Where else is he supposed to go?
Edit:
Oh! @decadelongsummer reminded me that Jaime I, ADWD would have come before this. (<- <- <-)
"Might the Blackfish seek refuge at Raventree?"
"He might seek it, but to find it he'd need to get past my siege lines, and last I heard he hadn't grown wings. [...]" - Jaime I, ADWD
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"They're young, eager, hungry for adventure and renown. Lysa would not let them go to war. This is the next best thing. A chance to serve their lord and prove their prowess. They will come. Even Harry the Heir." He had smoothed her hair and kissed her forehead. "What a clever daughter you are."
I will turn your liver into paste, and feed it to cats.
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"What a clever daughter you are." It was clever.
✨ Clever girl! ✨
Dontos chuckled. "My Jonquil's a clever girl, isn't she?" - Sansa IV, ACOK
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"There's a clever girl." He smiled, his thin lips bright red from the pomegranate seeds. - Sansa VI, ASOS
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"[...] It was clever of you to see it. Though no more than I'd expect of mine own daughter." - Sansa I, AFFC
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Sers, the Lady Alayne, my natural and very clever daughter . . . - Alayne II, AFFC
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The tourney, the prizes, the winged knights, it had all been her own notion. Lord Robert's mother had filled him full of fears, but he always took courage from the tales she read him of Ser Artys Arryn, the Winged Knight of legend, founder of his line. Why not surround him with Winged Knights? She had thought one night, after Sweetrobin had finally drifted off to sleep. His own Kingsguard, to keep him safe and make him brave.
Sounds like something a queen might be responsible for planning.
Unreliable narrator Sansa Stark (or George R. R. Martin). Ser Artys Arryn was not the legendary Winged Knight from the Age of Heroes. Two different people.
I don't know if this is important or not, but while reading the history of Ser Artys, a few things stuck out.
Leading the attack was a champion in silvered steel, with a moon-and-falcon on his shield and wings upon his warhelm. Ser Artys Arryn had clad one of his knights retainer in his spare suit of armor, leaving him in camp whilst he himself took his best horsemen up and around a goat track that he remembered from his childhood, so they might reappear behind the First Men and descend on them from above. - The World of Ice and Fire
While fighting King Robar II Royce, Ser Artys used a decoy of himself, while he snuck up and around a goat track that he remembered from his childhood.
What's interesting about that is that Roose Bolton uses a decoy in ADWD, which fools Ramsay.
When the rider in the dark armor removed his helm, however, the face beneath was not one that Reek knew. Ramsay's smile curdled at the sight, and anger flashed across his face. "What is this, some mockery?" - Reek II, ADWD
But what really stands out is the goat tracks. I know a character who has deep appreciation for goat tracks being used during war.
"Goat tracks?" The king's eyes narrowed. "I speak of moving swiftly, and you waste my time with goat tracks?"
"When the Young Dragon conquered Dorne, he used a goat track to bypass the Dornish watchtowers on the Boneway." - Jon IV, ADWD
I don't know. It involved knights from the Vale, so it made me pause.
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Lord Nestor was showing Lady Waxley his prize tapestries, with their scenes of hunt and chase. The same panels had once hung in the Red Keep of King's Landing, when Robert sat the Iron Throne. Joffrey had them taken down and they had languished in some cellar until Petyr Baelish arranged for them to be brought to the Vale as a gift for Nestor Royce. Not only were the hangings beautiful, but the High Steward delighted in telling anyone who'd listen that they had once belonged to a king.
It's the conclusion of the most anticlimactic side plot in the entire series.
"Not as yet. In truth, he seems quite unconcerned. His last letter mentions the rebels only briefly before beseeching me to ship him some old tapestries of Robert's." - Cersei IV, AFFC
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Petyr laughed. "Perhaps I shall. Or better still, to our sweet Cersei. Though I should not speak harshly of her, she is sending me some splendid tapestries. Isn't that kind of her?" - Alayne I, AFFC
This is nothing. It's only meant to showcase how Littlefinger purchases the loyalty of others.
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At the north end of the yard, three quintains had been set up, and some of the competitors were riding at them. Alayne knew them by their shields; the bells of Belmore, green vipers for the Lynderlys, the red sledge of Breakstone, House Tollett’s black and grey pily. Ser Mychel Redfort set one quintain spinning with a perfectly placed blow. He was one of those favored to win wings.
Showing off, as per usual. She's only doing this to make Arya look bad.
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"The Lord Protector's daughter," the bald knight announced, all hearty gallantry. He rose ponderously. "And full as lovely as the tales told of her, I see." Not to be outdone, the pimply knight hopped up and said, "Ser Ossifer speaks truly, you are the most beautiful maid in all the Seven Kingdoms." It might have been a sweeter courtesy had he not addressed it to her chest. "And have you seen all those maids yourself, ser?" Alayne asked him. "You are young to be so widely travelled."
"You are even lovelier than I was told, princess," he declared. "The queen has told me much and more of your beauty."
"How odd, when she has never seen me." - Jon XI, ADWD
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Alayne could not help but shutter. Myranda's husband had died when he was making love with her. "Those Sistermen who came in yesterday were gallant," she said, to change the subject. "If you don't like Ser Ossifer or Ser Uther, marry one of them instead. I thought the youngest one was very handsome." "The one in the sealskin cloak?" Randa said, incredulous. "One of his brothers, then." Myranda rolled her eyes. "They're from the Sisters. Did you ever know a Sisterman who could joust? They clean their swords with codfish oil and wash in tubs of cold seawater." “Well,” Alayne said, “at least they're clean.”
"Some of them have webs between their toes. [...]"
Uh huh.
Listen to me. Listen to me.
You know why this is here.
Davos: I:
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Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.
Remind me, what did we learn in Davos I?
To get home and call his banners, Stark had to cross the mountains to the Fingers and find a fisherman to carry him across the Bite. A storm caught them on the way. The fisherman drowned, but his daughter got Stark to the Sisters before the boat went down.
[...]
Our maester urged us to send Stark's head to Aerys, to prove our loyalty. It would have meant a rich reward.
[...]
That was when Stark said, 'In this world only winter is certain. We may lose our heads, it's true … but what if we prevail?' My father sent him on his way with his head still on his shoulders. 'If you lose,' he told Lord Eddard, 'you were never here.'" - Davos I, ADWD
Right, exactly. Go ahead and remind us of the Three Sisters in a Sansa chapter, George. Nobody can figure out where this is going.
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"Some of them have webs between their toes. I'd sooner marry Lord Petyr. Then I'd be your mother. How little is his finger, I ask you?"
Alayne did not dignify that question with an answer.
Totally normal thing you might ask his daughter.
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"Is that a promise or a threat?" Myranda said. "The first Lady Waynwood must have been a mare, I think. How else to explain why all the Waynwood men are horse-faced? If I were ever to wed a Waynwood, he would have to swear a vow to don his helm whenever he wished to fuck me, and keep the visor closed." She gave Alayne a pinch on the arm.
Um, I have a theory!
"No," Catelyn agreed. "You must name another heir, until such time as Jeyne gives you a son." She considered a moment. "Your father's father had no siblings, but his father had a sister who married a younger son of Lord Raymar Royce, of the junior branch. They had three daughters, all of whom wed Vale lordlings. A Waynwood and a Corbray, for certain. The youngest . . . it might have been a Templeton, but . . ." - Catelyn V, ASOS
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"My Harry will be with them, though. I notice that you left him out. I shall never forgive you for stealing him away from me. He's the boy I want to marry."
"The betrothal was my father's doing," Alayne protested, as she had a hundred times before. She is only teasing, she told herself… but behind the japes, she could hear the hurt.
We can't be certain, but she doesn't give off the same vibes as the other Myranda on the show.
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Alayne could not see the front of his shield from where she stood, but his attacker bore three ravens in flight, each clutching a red heart in its claws. Three hearts and three ravens. She knew right then how the fight would end. A few moments later and the big man sprawled dazed in the dust with his helm askew. When his squire undid the fastenings to bare his head, there was blood trickling down his scalp. If the swords had not been blunted, there would be brains as well. That last head blow had been so hard Alayne had winced in sympathy when it fell. Myranda Royce considered the victor thoughtfully. "Do you think if I asked nicely Ser Lyn would kill my suitors for me?" "He might, for a plump bag of gold." Ser Lyn Corbray was forever desperately short of coin, all the Vale knew that.
Based on my powerful foresight, I predict that Lyn Corbray will exhibit violent tendencies in the future, possibly while utilizing his Valyrian steel sword.
Don't ask me who the victim will be.
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There is truth in that, Alayne thought, but some demon of mischief was in her that morning, so she gave Ser Lyn a thrust of her own. Smiling sweetly, she said, "My lord father tells me your brother's new wife is with child." Corbray gave her a dark look. "Lyonel sends his regrets. He remains at Heart's Home with his peddler's daughter, watching her belly swell as if he were the first man who ever got a wench pregnant." Oh, that's an open wound, thought Alayne. Lyonel Corbray's first wife had given him nothing but a frail, sickly babe who died in infancy, and during all those years Ser Lyn had remained his brother's heir. When the poor woman finally died, however, Petyr Baelish had stepped in and brokered a new marriage for Lord Corbray. The second Lady Corbray was sixteen, the daughter of a wealthy Gulltown merchant, but she had come with an immense dowry, and men said she was a tall, strapping, healthy girl, with big breasts and good, wide hips. And fertile too, it seems. "We are all praying that the Mother grants Lady Corbray an easy labor and a healthy child," said Myranda. Alayne could not help herself. She smiled and said, "My father is always pleased to be of service to one of Lord Robert's leal bannermen. I'm sure he would be most delighted to help broker a marriage for you as well, Ser Lyn." "How kind of him." Corbray's lips drew back in something that might have been meant as a smile, though it gave Alayne a chill. "But what need have I for heirs when I am landless and like to remain so, thanks to our Lord Protector? No. Tell your lord father I need none of his brood mares." The venom in his voice was so thick that for a moment she almost forgot that Lyn Corbray was actually her father's catspaw, bought and paid for. Or was he? Perhaps, instead of being Petyr's man pretending to be Petyr's foe, he was actually his foe pretending to be his man pretending to be his foe.
Uh oh, Nostradamus senses something. There she goes leaking the plot again!
The king's own fool, the pie-faced simpleton called Moon Boy, danced about on stilts, all in motley, making mock of everyone with such deft cruelty that Sansa wondered if he was simple after all. - Sansa II, AGOT
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Sansa shuddered. Every time she looked at Ser Ilyn Payne, she shivered. - Sansa III, AGOT
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Varys was wringing his soft hands together, Grand Maester Pycelle kept his sleepy eyes on the papers in front of him, but she could feel Littlefinger staring. Something about the way the small man looked at her made Sansa feel as though she had no clothes on. Goose bumps pimpled her skin. - Sansa IV, AGOT
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For his sigil he had taken a bloody spear, gold on a night-black field. The sight of it raised goose prickles up and down Sansa's arms. - Sansa V, AGOT
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Ser Boros was short-tempered, Ser Meryn cold, and Ser Mandon's strange dead eyes made her uneasy - Sansa I, ACOK
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"I don't want to." Lollys clutched at her maid, a slender, pretty girl with short dark hair who looked as though she wanted nothing so much as to shove her mistress into the dry moat, onto those iron spikes. "Please, please, I don't want to." - Sansa V, ACOK
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Besides, the lords of the Trident were sworn to Riverrun and House Tully, and to the King in the North; they would never accept Littlefinger as their liege. Unless they are made to. Unless my brother and my uncle and my grandfather are all cast down and killed. The thought made Sansa anxious, but she told herself she was being silly. - Sansa VIII, ACOK
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Yet the more she thought about it all, the more she wondered. Joff might restrain himself for a few turns, perhaps as long as a year, but soon or late he will show his claws, and when he does . . . The realm might have a second Kingslayer, and there would be war inside the city, as the men of the lion and the men of the rose made the gutters run red. - Sansa I, ASOS
Believe in Sansa. The bottom line is that Lyn Corbray is a problem, and he's not as loyal to Littlefinger as Littlefinger thinks. Where this goes, I couldn't tell you.
(I desperately wanted to highlight every instance of Daenerys incorrectly reading someone, but I chose to be an adult.)
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Alayne turned abruptly from the yard… and bumped into a short, sharp-faced man with a brush of orange hair who had come up behind her. His hand shot out and caught her arm before she could fall. "My lady. My pardons if I took you unawares." "The fault was mine. I did not see you standing there." "We mice are quiet creatures." Ser Shadrich was so short that he might have been taken for a squire, but his face belonged to a much older man. She saw long leagues in the wrinkles at the corner of his mouth, old battles in the scar beneath his ear, and a hardness behind the eyes that no boy would ever have. This was a man grown. Even Randa overtopped him, though. "Will you be seeking wings?" the Royce girl said. "A mouse with wings would be a silly sight." "Perhaps you will try the melee instead?" Alayne suggested. The melee was an afterthought, a sop for all the brothers, uncles, fathers, and friends who had accompanied the competitors to the Gates of the Moon to see them win their silver wings, but there would be prizes for the champions, and a chance to win ransoms. "A good melee is all a hedge knight can hope for, unless he stumbles on a bag of dragons. And that's not likely, is it?"
Speaking of problems.
You know who Varys is, I trust? The eunuch has offered a plump bag of gold for this girl you've never heard of. I am not a greedy man. If some oversized wench would help me find this naughty child, I would split the Spider's coin with her. - Brienne I, AFFC
The following is speculative, but also highly rational in my opinion.
It would be incredibly illogical for the author to introduce Ser Shadrich in Brienne's first chapter, reveal his objective to the reader, have him show up in the Vale near the same book's conclusion, clearly signal to the reader that he's correctly identified Sansa, and then proceed to not utilize him in any meaningful way. This is not what a red herring looks like.
There's probably a reason why Brienne's been gifted the knowledge of his appearance, and his objective. Brienne may not know what Alayne looks like, but she does know what Ser Shadrich looks like.
There's probably a reason why Brienne gauges both of their fighting skills while anticipating a potential encounter. (Come on.)
The Mad Mouse, she thought, at her first sight of him. Somehow he's followed me. Her hand went to her sword hilt, and she found herself wondering if Ser Shadrich would think her easy prey just because she was a woman. [...] If it was Ser Shadrich dogging her heels, she might well have a fight on her hands. She did not intend to partner with the man or let him follow her to Sansa. He had the sort of easy arrogance that comes with skill at arms, she thought, but he was small. I'll have the reach on him, and I should be stronger too. - Brienne II, AFFC
We watched Brienne intercept a Stark daughter three different times on the show.
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None of these scenes can happen in the books, but we already know the show creators drew inspiration from canon events, and assigned different characters to the roles.
They gave the role of Biter to the Hound and made Brienne fight him, do you not think it's also possible one of these scenes is inspired by Brienne intercepting Shadrich and Sansa in the books?
"But Brienne's currently captured by Lady Stoneheart near Pennytree, and has a broken arm and face!"
Sansa's 👏 and 👏 Brienne's 👏 storylines 👏 aren't 👏 synchronized.
He told us what Brienne would do! He told us!
The Eyrie would be simpler, and Lady Lysa would surely welcome her sister's daughter . . .
Ahead, the alley bent. Somehow Brienne had taken a wrong turn. She found herself in a dead end, a small muddy yard where three pigs were rooting round a low stone well.
[...]
"I was looking for the Seven Swords."
"Back the way you come. Left at the sept."
"I thank you." Brienne turned to retrace her steps, and walked headfirst into someone hurrying round the bend. - Brienne II, AFFC
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Brienne 👏 will 👏 escape! She'll 👏 turn 👏 back!
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They made a race of it, dashing headlong across the yard and past the stables, skirts flapping, whilst knights and serving men alike looked on, and pigs and chickens scattered before them. It was most unladylike, but Alayne sound found herself laughing. For just a little while, as she ran, she forget who she was, and where, and found herself remembering bright cold days at Winterfell, when she would race through Winterfell with her friend Jeyne Poole, with Arya running after them trying to keep up.
Always nice seeing her act her age.
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Harry the Heir, Alayne thought. My husband-to-be, if he will have me. A sudden terror filled her. She wondered if her face was red. Don't stare at him, she reminded herself, don't stare, don't gape, don't gawk. Look away. Her hair must be a frightful mess after all that running. It took all her will to stop herself from trying to tuck the loose strands back into place. Never mind your stupid hair. Your hair doesn't matter. It's him that matters. Him, and the Waynwoods. Ser Roland was the oldest of the three, though no more than five-and-twenty. He was taller and more muscular than Ser Wallace, but both were long-faced and lantern-jawed, with stringy brown hair and pinched noses. Horsefaced and homely, Alayne thought. Harry, though… My Harry. My lord, my lover, my betrothed.Ser Harrold Hardyng looked every inch a lord-in-waiting; clean-limbed and handsome, straight as a lance, hard with muscle. Men old enough to have known Jon Arryn in his youth said Ser Harrold had his look, she knew. He had a mop of sandy blond hair, pale blue eyes, an aquiline nose. Joffrey was comely too, though, she reminded herself. A comely monster, that’s what he was. Little Lord Tyrion was kinder, twisted though he was.
Wow, how much do you love that?
Sansa directly compares the horse-faced Waynwoods, who have Stark lineage and were once potential heirs to Robb, to the more attractive Harry Hardyng (aka Joffrey).
I'm sorry, you have to see this:
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Un-fucking-real. So close. They're always so close.
Yeah guys, why isn't she thinking about Arya? It's obvious we're supposed to be thinking about Arya during this passage. The author's intentions here are clear, the subtext is Arya. Sansa comparing these Stark-ish, likable Waynwood men to the comely yet rude Harry the Heir is totally about Arya. Arya's written all over this. We're so clever to see it.
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Side note,
Joffrey was comely too, though, she reminded herself. A comely monster, that's what he was.
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"Beauty can be treacherous. My brother learned that lesson from Cersei Lannister. [...]." - Jon XI, ASOS
Love when my babies both learn about beauty's hidden dangers!
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"I look forward to a spirited discussion." Ser Roland swung down from his horse, turned to Alayne, and smiled. "I had heard that Lord Littlefinger's daughter was fair of face and full of grace, but no one ever told me that she was a thief." "You wrong me, ser. I am no thief!" Ser Roland placed his hand over his heart. "Then how do you explain this hole in my chest, from where you stole my heart?"
Man, these horsey Waynwoods are crushing hard on Sansa. hehehehe.
Instead, he blamed Jon Snow and wondered when Jon's heart had turned to stone. - Samwell III, AFFC
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"You are in the Falcon Tower, Ser Harrold," Alayne put in. Far away from Sweetrobin. That was intentional, she knew. Petyr Baelish did not leave such things to chance. "If it please you, I will show you to your chambers myself." This time her eyes met Harry's. She smiled just for him, and said a silent prayer to the Maiden. Please, he doesn't need to love me, just make him like me, just a little, that would be enough for now. Ser Harrold looked down at her coldly. "Why should it please me to be escorted anywhere by Littlefinger's bastard?"
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A lady's armor is her courtesy. Alayne could feel the blood rushing to her face. No tears, she prayed. Please, please, I must not cry. "As you wish, ser. And now if you will excuse me, Littlefinger's bastard must find her lord father and let him know that you have come, so we can begin the tourney on the morrow." And may your horse stumble, Harry the Heir, so you fall on your stupid head in your first tilt. She showed the Waynwoods a stone face as they blurted out awkward apologies for their companion. When they were done she turned and fled. Near the keep, she ran headlong into Ser Lothor Brune and almost knocked him off his feet. "Harry the Heir? Harry the Arse, I say. He's just some upjumped squire." Alayne was so grateful that she hugged him. "Thank you. Have you seen my father, ser?"
Oopsie daisy, Nostradamus has returned.
The most terrifying moment of the day came during Ser Gregor's second joust, when his lance rode up and struck a young knight from the Vale under the gorget with such force that it drove through his throat, killing him instantly. The youth fell not ten feet from where Sansa was seated. The point of Ser Gregor's lance had snapped off in his neck, and his life's blood flowed out in slow pulses, each weaker than the one before. His armor was shiny new; a bright streak of fire ran down his outstretched arm, as the steel caught the light. Then the sun went behind a cloud, and it was gone. His cloak was blue, the color of the sky on a clear summer's day, trimmed with a border of crescent moons, but as his blood seeped into it, the cloth darkened and the moons turned red, one by one. - Sansa II, AGOT
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"Look at that upjumped oaf," Joff hooted, loud enough for half the yard to hear.
[...]
I hope he falls and shames himself, she thought bitterly. I hope Ser Balon kills him. When Joffrey proclaimed her father's death, it had been Janos Slynt who seized Lord Eddard's severed head by the hair and raised it on high for king and crowd to behold, while Sansa wept and screamed.
Morros dropped his lance, fought for balance, and lost. One foot caught in a stirrup as he fell, and the runaway charger dragged the youth to the end of the lists, head bouncing against the ground. Joff hooted derision. Sansa was appalled, wondering if the gods had heard her vengeful prayer. - Sansa I, ACOK
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At the last possible instant, Ser Humfrey's [Hardyng] stallion reared away from the oncoming point, eyes rolling in terror, but too late, Aerion's lance took the animal just above the armor that protected his breastbone, and exploded out of the back of his neck in a gout of bright blood. Screaming, the horse crashed sideways, knocking the wooden barrier to pieces as he fell. Ser Humfrey [Hardyng] tried to leap free, but a foot caught in a stirrup and they heard his shriek as his leg was crushed between the splintered fence and falling horse. - The Hedge Knight
A knight from the Vale.
Correctly predicting it will happen to an upjumped oaf.
A Hardyng.
There are two certainties in this life: death and Harrold Hardyng falling off his horse. (Plenty of people don't pay their taxes.)
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The vaults were large and dark and filthy. Alayne lit a taper and clutched her skirt as she made the descent. Near the bottom, she heard Lord Grafton's booming voice, and followed. "The merchants are clamoring to buy, and the lords are clamoring to sell," the Gulltowner was saying when she found them. Though not a tall man, Grafton was wide, with thick arms and shoulders. His hair was a dirty blond mop. "How am I to stop that, my lord?" "Post guardsmen on the docks. If need be, seize the ships. How does not matter, so long as no food leaves the Vale." "These prices, though," protested fat Lord Belmore," these prices are more than fair." "You say more than fair, my lord. I say less than we would wish. Wait. If need be, buy the food yourself and keep it stored. Winter is coming. Prices must go higher." "Perhaps," said Belmore, doubtfully. "Bronze Yohn will not wait," Grafton complained. "He need not ship through Gulltown, he has his own ports. Whilst we are hoarding our harvest, Royce and the other Lords Declarant will turn theirs into silver, you may be sure of that."
I smell converging storylines!
Our best hope may be the Eyrie. The Vale of Arryn was famously fertile and had gone untouched during the fighting. Jon wondered how Lady Catelyn's sister would feel about feeding Ned Stark's bastard. - Jon IV, ADWD
Someone cut Littlefinger's head off, so everyone can eat.
Anyway, there's more Gulltown. Gulltown, Gulltown, Gulltown!
She might do better to take ship for Gulltown or White Harbor. I could do both, though. - Brienne II, AFFC
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If the Stinking Goose yields nothing, I will take passage on a ship, she decided. Gulltown was only a short voyage away. From there she could make her way to the Eyrie easily enough. - Brienne III, AFFC
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"Gulltown next," her captain told her, "thence around the Fingers to Sisterton and White Harbor, if the storms allow. She's a clean ship, 'Strider, not so many rats as most, and we'll have fresh eggs and new-churned butter aboard. Is m'lady seeking passage north?"
"No." Not yet. She was tempted, but . . . - Brienne V, AFFC
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NOT YET. NOT YET! GULLTOWN -> SISTERTON -> WHITE HARBOR. HE TOLD US. HE FORESHADOWS EVERYTHING. IT'S RIGHT THERE.
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"And is Ser Harrold with them?" Horrible Ser Harrold. "He is." Lord Belmore laughed. "I never thought Royce would let him come. Is he blind, or merely stupid?" "He is honorable. Sometimes it amounts to the same thing. If he denied the lad the chance to prove himself, it could create a rift between them, so why not let him tilt? The boy is nowise skilled enough to win a place amongst the Winged Knights."
Gosh, since his introduction, it seems like we've been constantly reminded that this upjumped squire is rather inept when it comes to sports.
"Our cousin Bronze Yohn had himself a mêlée at Runestone," Myranda Royce went on, oblivious, "a small one, just for squires. It was meant for Harry the Heir to win the honors, and so he did." - Alayne II, AFFC
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"Come," Petyr said, "walk with me." He took her by the arm and led her deeper into the vaults, past an empty dungeon.
I will cut your eyelids off.
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"Yes," she said, "but why must he be so cruel? He called me your bastard. Right in the yard, in front of everyone." "So far as he knows, that's who you are. This betrothal was never his idea, and Bronze Yohn has no doubt warned him against my wiles. You are my daughter. He does not trust you, and he believes that you're beneath him." "Well, I'm not. He may think he's some great knight, but Ser Lothor says he's just some upjumped squire."
Sansa's acquiring a new perspective through experiential learning: understanding the bastard experience. Aww. <3
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Petyr put his arm around her. "So he is, but he is Robert's heir as well. Bringing Harry here was the first step in our plan, but now we need to keep him, and only you can do that. He has a weakness for a pretty face, and whose face is prettier than yours? Charm him. Entrance him. Bewitch him."
Getting to the good stuff.
I'll tell you one thing, I have more faith in Sansa successfully accomplishing this than 6-year-old Alys Karstark.
(-> -> -> Jon X?)
"It is my own fault. My lord father told me I must charm your brother Robb, but I was only six and didn't know how."
Aye, but now you're almost six-and-ten, and we must pray you will know how to charm your new husband. - Jon X, ADWD
I've said it a million times in other Sansa chapters, so I won't elaborate, but if you truly believe Littlefinger's plan is to wed Catelyn 2.0 to imitation Brandon Stark, you might be out of your mind.
Petyr put his arm around her.
I will pluck every hair from your head, and genitals.
+.+.+
"I don't know how," she said miserably. "Oh, I think you do," said Littlefinger, with one of those smiles that did not reach his eyes.
Excluding the instance where she copied Harry's words, that is the only time she calls him Littlefinger in this chapter.
She hasn't forgotten.
+.+.+
"You will be the most beautiful woman in the hall tonight, as lovely as your lady mother at your age. I cannot seat you on the dais, but you'll have a place of honor above the salt and underneath a wall sconce. The fire will be shining in your hair, so everyone will see how fair of face you are. Keep a good long spoon on hand to beat the squires off, sweetling. You will not want green boys underfoot when the knights come round to beg you for your favor." "Who would ask to wear a bastard's favor?"
"Harry, if he has the wits the gods gave a goose… but do not give it to him. Choose some other gallant, and favor him instead. You do not want to seem too eager."
I'd be hesitant to allow fire to shine in Sansa's hair.
This feels like a developing story. I'd love to know who is getting this favor if it's not Harry the Arse.
He had worn her favor in the Battle of the Blackwater, where he'd slain a Myrish crossbowman and a Mullendore man-at-arms. "Alyn said her favor made him fearless," said Megga. "He says he shouted her name for his battle cry, isn't that ever so gallant? Someday I want some champion to wear my favor, and kill a hundred men." - Sansa II, ASOS
x
"Saving yourself for Lord Robert?" Lady Myranda teased. "Or is there some ardent squire dreaming of your favors?" - Alayne II, AFFC
x
Edmure escorted her up the water stair and across the lower bailey, where Petyr Baelish and Brandon Stark had once crossed swords for her favor.  - Catelyn XI, AGOT
+.+.+
"Lady Waynwood will insist that Harry dance with you, I can promise you that much. That will be your chance. Smile at the boy. Touch him when you speak. Tease him, to pique his pride. If he seems to be responding, tell him that you are feeling faint, and ask him to take you outside for a breath of fresh air. No knight could refuse such a request from a fair maiden."
The above won't happen, but in her next chapter, I'll be super on edge whenever she's exposed and there aren't many people around.
+.+.+
Petyr drew her close and kissed her on both cheeks. "The night belongs to you, sweetling, Remember that, always."
I will make you deepthroat a cactus.
+.+.+
The feast proved to be everything her father promised. Sixty-four dishes were served, in honor of the sixty-four competitors who had come so far to contest for silver wings before their lord. From the rivers and the lakes came pike and trout and salmon, from the seas crabs and cod and herring. Ducks there were, and capons, peacocks in their plumage and swans in almond milk. Suckling pigs were served up crackling with apples in their mouths, and three huge aurochs were roasted whole above firepits in the castle yard, since they were too big to get through the kitchen doors. Loaves of hot bread filled the trestle tables in Lord Nestor's hall, and massive wheels of cheese were brought up from the vaults. The butter was fresh-churned, and there were leeks and carrots, roasted onions, beets, turnips, parsnips. And best of all, Lord Nestor's cooks prepared a splendid subtlety, a lemon cake in the shape of the Giant's Lance, twelve feet tall and adorned with an Eyrie made of sugar. For me, Alayne thought, as they wheeled it out. Sweetrobin loved lemon cakes too, but only after she told him that they were her favorites. The cake had required every lemon in the Vale, but Petyr had promised that he would send to Dorne for more.
A splendid subtlety, lol.
Nice, Littlefinger gifted her a giant penis. I wonder if the ones from Dorne taste any better. (I'm sorry.)
Look, it's a feast!
(-> -> -> Jon X?)
The stewards began to bring out the first dish, an onion broth flavored with bits of goat and carrot. Not precisely royal fare, but nourishing; it tasted good enough and warmed the belly. Owen the Oaf took up his fiddle, and several of the free folk joined in with pipes and drums. The same pipes and drums they played to sound Mance Rayder's attack upon the Wall. Jon thought they sounded sweeter now. With the broth came loaves of coarse brown bread, warm from the oven. Salt and butter sat upon the tables. - Jon X, ADWD
+.+.+
When the last course had been served and cleared, the tables were lifted from their trestles to clear the floor for dancing, and musicians were brought in.
[...] "As am I," Coldwater said. Rising, he offered Alayne his hand. "Would you honor me with this dance, my lady?" "You're very kind," she said, as he led her to the floor. He was her first partner of the evening, but far from the last. Just as Petyr had promised, the young knights flocked around her, vying for her favor. After Ben came Andrew Tollett, handsome Ser Byron, red-nosed Ser Morgarth, and Ser Shadrich the Mad Mouse. Then Ser Albar Royce, Myranda's stout dull brother and Lord Nestor's heir. She danced with all three Sunderlands, none of whom had webs between their fingers, though she could not vouch for their toes. Uther Shett appeared to pay her slimy compliments as he trod upon her feet, but Ser Targon the Halfwild proved to be the soul of courtesy. After that Ser Roland Waynwood swept her up and made her laugh with mocking comments about half the other knights in the hall. His uncle Wallace took a turn as well and tried to do the same, but the words would not come. Alayne finally took pity on him and began to chatter happily, to spare him the embarrassment. When the dance was done she excused herself, and went back to her place to have a drink of wine.
Oh my goodness, they're dancing! Ser Jon Waynwood sounds like a hoot.
(-> -> -> Jon X?)
The queen's men outnumbered the queen's ladies three to one, so even the humblest serving girls were pressed into the dance. After a few songs some black brothers remembered skills learned at the courts and castles of their youth, before their sins had sent them to the Wall, and took the floor as well. That old rogue Ulmer of the Kingswood proved as adept at dancing as he was at archery, no doubt regaling his partners with his tales of the Kingswood Brotherhood, when he rode with Simon Toyne and Big Belly Ben and helped Wenda the White Fawn burn her mark in the buttocks of her highborn captives. Satin was all grace, dancing with three serving girls in turn but never presuming to approach a highborn lady. 
[...]
"You could dance with me, you know. It would be only courteous. You danced with me anon."
"Anon?" teased Jon.
"When we were children." She tore off a bit of bread and threw it at him. "As you know well."
"My lady should dance with her husband." - Jon X, ADWD
Dance with me, Jon Snow! You'll dance with me anon.
Don't be offended Alys, you're not the right partner.
When the musicians began to play, she timidly laid her hand on Tyrion's and said, "My lord, should we lead the dance?"
His mouth twisted. "I think we have already given them sufficent amusement for one day, don't you?" - Sansa III, ASOS
And neither was he.
I won't get too deep into each dance partner, because this post is long enough, but I'm sure you can see there's more than a few allusions to Jon (Coldwater, Tollett, Ser Byron, Royce, etc.).
Read more here:
Allusions to Jon in The Dance Partners of TWOW, Alayne I (@cappymightwrite)
+.+.+
And there he stood, Harry the Heir himself; tall, handsome, scowling. "Lady Alayne. May I partner you in this dance?" She considered for a moment. "No. I don't think so." Color rose to his cheeks. "I was unforgivably rude to you in the yard. You must forgive me." "Must?" She tossed her hair, took a sip of wine, made him wait. "How can you forgive someone who is unforgivably rude? Will you explain that to me, ser?" Ser Harrold looked confused. "Please. One dance."
Charm him. Entrance him. Bewitch him. "If you insist."
Boo, hiss. Wrong dance partner!
She'll talk circles around you if you let her.
+.+.+
He nodded, offered his arm, led her out onto the floor. As they waited for the music to resume, Alayne glanced at the dais, where Lord Robert sat staring at them. Please, she prayed, don’t let him start to twitch and shake. Not here. Not now. Maester Coleman would have made certain that he drank a strong dose of sweetmilk before the feast, but even so.
Oh good, the doctor who keeps tempting fate is back.
Just give him a cup of the sweetmilk before we go, and another at the feast, and there should be no trouble."
"Very well." They paused at the foot of the stairs. "But this must be the last. For half a year, or longer." - Alayne II, AFFC
+.+.+
Instead she said, "I have heard that you are about to be a father." It was not something most girls would say to their almost-betrothed, but she wanted to see if Ser Harrold would lie. "For the second time. My daughter Alys is two years old."
Your bastard daughter Alys, Alayne thought, but what she said was, "That one had a different mother, though."
What a totally unique name we've given this kid!
(-> -> -> Jon X?)
Jon turned to Alys Karstark. "My lady. Are you ready?" - Jon X, ADWD
Did I say he's Brandon Stark? I meant Brandon Stark with a little hint of Robert Baratheon.
+.+.+
"Yes. Cissy was a pretty thing when I tumbled her, but childbirth left her as fat as a cow, so Lady Anya arranged for her to marry one of her men-at-arms. It is different with Saffron." "Saffron?" Alayne tried not to laugh. "Truly?" Ser Harrold had the grace to blush. "Her father says she is more precious to him than gold. He's rich, the richest man in Gulltown. A fortune in spices." "What will you name the babe?" she asked. "Cinnamon if she's a girl? Cloves if he's a boy?"
That roast is worthy of applause.
Fun words are everywhere!
(-> -> -> Jon X?)
"Hobb's mulled some wine with cinnamon and cloves. That'll warm us some."
"What's cloves?" asked Owen the Oaf. - Jon X, ADWD
+.+.+
"Saffron is very beautiful, I'll have you know. Tall and slim, with big brown eyes and hair like honey." Alayne raised her head. "More beautiful than me?" Ser Harrold studied her face. "You are comely enough, I grant you. When Lady Anya first told me of this match, I was afraid that you might look like your father." "Little pointy beard and all?" Alayne laughed. "I never meant..." "I hope you joust better than you talk."
I am extremely confident he does not.
Are tall girls with honey in their hair his type? Too bad.
+.+.+
For a moment he looked shocked. But as the song was ending, he burst into a laugh. "No one told me you were clever."
✨ Clever girl! ✨
Melisandre closed her eyes, remembering. "West."
"She is not coming up the kingsroad, then. Clever girl. [...]" - Melisandre I, ADWD
+.+.+
He has good teeth, she thought, straight and white. And when he smiles, he has the nicest dimples. She ran one finger down his cheek. "Should we ever wed, you'll have to send Saffron back to her father. I'll be all the spice you'll want." He grinned. "I will hold you to that promise, my lady. Until that day, may I wear your favor in the tourney?" "You may not. It is promised to… another." She was not sure who as yet, but she knew she would find someone.
Before I get to the last bit, can I tell you something?
I read a sizeable amount of fandom commentary on this chapter, and not one single person contemplated who she's saving her favor for. It didn't come up once.
People are either deliberately avoiding asking themselves that question, or they believe the ending of this chapter is insignificant, and the topic won't resurface again. I'm not sure which one annoys me more.
+.+.+
"You may not. It is promised to… another." She was not sure who as yet, but she knew she would find someone.
Now turn the page.
(-> -> -> Jon X?)
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It's the Alys Karstark x Sigorn wedding chapter! Yay.
Interestingly, in the first few pages of that chapter, the author intentionally creates an initial impression that it's Jon Snow who is marrying Alys Karstark. Curious, isn't it?
Let's discuss what we know about the bride, who the author led us to believe Jon Snow was marrying.
According to the fandom, Alys Karstark is Jon Snow's girl in grey. Small problem with that, she never wears grey, and never travels near a body of water to get to Castle Black.
"I saw water. Deep and blue and still, with a thin coat of ice just forming on it. It seemed to go on and on forever."
"Long Lake. What else did you see around this girl?" - Melisandre I, ADWD
However, she was fleeing from a forced marriage. Her great-uncle has assumed the role of Lord of Karhold, and made her a match, despite lacking any rightful claim to the land or castle.
Your uncle … would that be Lord Arnolf?" "He is no lord," Alys said scornfully. [...] Uncle Arnolf is only castellan. - Jon IX, ADWD
"Lysa was murdered before the document could be presented for her signature, so I signed as Lord Protector. I knew that would have been her wish." - Sansa I, AFFC
The marriage is to her uncle, Cregan Karstark. Sorry, I should clarify this uncle isn't actually her uncle, it's just what they call him.
He's my great-uncle, actually, my father's uncle. Cregan is his son. I suppose that makes him a cousin, but we always called him uncle. Now they mean to make me call him husband. - Jon IX, ADWD
"Wed?" Sansa was stunned. "You and my aunt?" - Sansa VI, ASOS
x
"I am Alayne, Father. Who else would I be?" - Sansa I, AFFC
Perhaps you're wondering how we arrived at this point. Long ago, Alys' father desired her to marry the future Lord of Winterfell. Unfortunately, at that time, she was too young to captivate him with her charm.
"It is my own fault. My lord father told me I must charm your brother Robb, but I was only six and didn't know how." - Jon X, ADWD
Charm him. Entrance him. Bewitch him. "If you insist." - Alayne I, TWOW
Instead, she was betrothed to Daryn Hornwood, and they were patiently awaiting her coming of age.
Before the war I was betrothed to Daryn Hornwood. We were only waiting till I flowered to be wed - Jon IX, ADWD
If they do that … why, then we shall know that there is no taint in your blood, and when you come into the flower of your womanhood, you shall wed the king in the Great Sept of Baelor, before the eyes of gods and men. - Sansa IV, AGOT
Sadly, Daryn Hornwood died in the war. Rickard Karstark was forced to find her another lord to marry.
My father wrote that he would find some southron lord to wed me, but he never did. - Jon IX, ADWD
When you're old enough, I will make you a match with a high lord who's worthy of you, someone brave and gentle and strong. - Sansa III, AGOT
Of course all that went to shit when Rickard Karstark got his head cut off.
Your brother Robb cut off his head for killing Lannisters. - Jon IX, ADWD
"But they have the soft hearts of women. So long as I am your king, treason shall never go unpunished. Ser Ilyn, bring me his head!" - Arya V, AGOT
Now, it's worth mentioning that Alys' older brother Harrion is the rightful heir to Karhold. However, if he were to die, Alys would inherit Karhold, which ambitious men like her uncles are aware of.
Should my brother die, Karhold should pass to me, but my uncles want my birthright for their own. - Jon IX, ADWD
"But he does not know you," Dontos insisted, "and he will not love you. Jonquil, Jonquil, open your sweet eyes, these Tyrells care nothing for you. It's your claim they mean to wed."
[...]
She never thought to have a claim, but with Bran and Rickon dead . . . It doesn't matter, there's still Robb, he's a man grown now, and soon he'll wed and have a son. - Sansa II, ASOS
x
"The man who weds Sansa Stark can claim Winterfell in her name," his uncle Kevan put in. "Had that not occurred to you?" - Tyrion IV, ASOS
x
"Winterfell has withstood fiercer enemies than me. It is Winterfell, is it not?"
"Yes," Sansa admitted.
He walked along outside the walls. "I used to dream of it, in those years after Cat went north with Eddard Stark. In my dreams it was ever a dark place, and cold." - Sansa VII, ASOS
Thankfully, most people in this story are familiar with the rules of succession.
If her brother is dead, Karhold belongs to Lady Alys. - Jon X, ADWD
Jon said, "Winterfell belongs to my sister Sansa." - Jon IV, ADWD
Hence, the arranged marriage. Enter Cregan Karstark, a dangerous man who covets her birthright. He has a dark history, having buried multiple wives, and he would no longer need Alys if she ever had his child.
Once Cregan gets a child by me they won't need me anymore. He's buried two wives already. - Jon IX, ADWD
"Only Cat." He gave her a short, sharp shove.
Lysa stumbled backward, her feet slipping on the wet marble. - Sansa VII, ASOS
x
Arya's gone, the same as Bran and Rickon, and they'll kill Sansa too once the dwarf gets a child from her. - Catelyn V, ASOS
Fear not, for this story finds a happy ending. Before her not-uncle can get his hands on her, our hero Jon Snow intervenes and arranges a marriage between Alys and a wildling, ensuring her safety and happiness.
"So," said Alys, as Jon poured, "I am now a woman wed. A wildling husband with his own little wildling army." - Jon X, ADWD
I see what you are, Snow. Half a wolf and half a wildling, baseborn get of a traitor and a whore. - Jon X, ADWD
The guy is such a white knight, he even daydreams of gifting her Cregan's head! (Thank you @that-plo-koon for that one.)
I should make his head a wedding gift for Lady Alys and her Magnar, Jon thought, but dare not take the risk. - Jon X, ADWD
[...] wishing she could hurt him, wishing that some hero would throw him down and cut off his head. - Sansa VI, AGOT
x
"Tromp tromp I'm a giant, I'm a giant," he chanted. "Ho ho ho, open your gates or I'll mash them and smash them." - Sansa VII
[...]
A mad rage seized hold of her. She picked up a broken branch and smashed the torn doll's head down on top of it, then pushed it down atop the shattered gatehouse of her snow castle. The servants looked aghast, but when Littlefinger saw what she'd done he laughed. "If the tales be true, that's not the first giant to end up with his head on Winterfell's walls." - Sansa VII, ASOS
Isn't that a great story? Other than a few amusing nuggets, that mostly covers everything.
My brother Harry is the rightful lord - Jon IX, ADWD [Brother Harry]
"Harry the Heir?" - Alayne II, AFFC [Father Harry]
x
Jon turned to Alys Karstark. "My lady. Are you ready?" - Jon X, ADWD [Sister Alys]
Your bastard daughter Alys, Alayne thought - Alayne I, TWOW [Daughter Alys]
So that's Alys Karstark, the girl George had us believing Jon Snow was marrying, in a chapter likely intended to follow this one.
While we're on the topic of that Jon Snow fakeout wedding, can I tell you what my favourite passage was?
The girl smiled in a way that reminded Jon so much of his little sister that it almost broke his heart. "Let him be scared of me." The snowflakes were melting on her cheeks, but her hair was wrapped in a swirl of lace that Satin had found somewhere, and the snow had begun to collect there, giving her a frosty crown. Her cheeks were flushed and red, and her eyes sparkled. - Jon X, ADWD
Ha ha ha! Me too, bud. I am also reminded of your little sister.
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Boy, what a ride that was.
Final thoughts:
Fam,
WE DID IT!
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I can't believe I finished.
-> return to menu <-
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esther-dot · 7 months
Note
The debate about the appropriateness of Jonsa overshadows the political/feudal argument. Unless you can make a convincing case Sansa is going to run away and become a peasant with Sandor (didn't GRRM literally mock that...), or that she can singlehandedly Elizabeth the first it, then you need to be thinking about marriage. Marriage is just as important as war in GRRM's books, if not moreso, and it's a symbolic struggle at that.
Of course Stumpy has searched for Sansa's husband and applied this thinking, but it's one that's otherwise severely lacking. GRRM would go there. We know he'd go there, cousins or not. The question is, why?
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Stumpy's Find Sansa's Husband is one of my favs!
No worries! Each of us has a fandom pet peeve we need to rant about. And you're right about Martin's criticism of the "running off with a stable boy trope," in fact, it sounds like the idea really annoys him (his quote below the cut)
And then there are some things that are just don’t square with history. In some sense I’m trying to respond to that. [For example] the arranged marriage, which you see constantly in the historical fiction and television show, almost always when there’s an arranged marriage, the girl doesn’t want it and rejects it and she runs off with the stable boy instead. This never fucking happened. It just didn’t. There were thousands, tens of thousand, perhaps hundreds of thousands of arranged marriages in the nobility through the thousand years of Middle Ages and people went through with them. That’s how you did it. It wasn’t questioned. Yeah, occasionally you would want someone else, but you wouldn’t run off with the stable boy. And that’s another of my pet peeves about fantasies. The bad authors adopt the class structures of the Middle Ages; where you had the royalty and then you had the nobility and you had the merchant class and then you have the peasants and so forth. But they don’t’ seem to realize what it actually meant. They have scenes where the spunky peasant girl tells off the pretty prince. The pretty prince would have raped the spunky peasant girl. He would have put her in the stocks and then had garbage thrown at her. You know. I mean, the class structures in places like this had teeth. They had consequences. And people were brought up from their childhood to know their place and to know that duties of their class and the privileges of their class. It was always a source of friction when someone got outside of that thing. And I tried to reflect that.
I think the issue is, S*nsans and people who shipped Sansa with LF were some of the first to write real meta on her (from what I've heard), so certain fans/perceptions got pretty firmly established, and then a new generation of Sansa fan came along who rejected the Sansa x adult man/molester ships, but it was pretty easy for them to assume that due to Sansa's age, Martin would leave her marriage to the future.
Also, a lot of people don't expect Sansa to be QitN, so the succession issue isn't putting pressure on the marriage timeline, and if you're someone who thinks Bran will actually be king over all Westeros or Rickon will be KitN etc etc, you can imagine Sansa's endgame is safety in Winterfell, not a romance or marriage.
Personally, I think Sansa's interactions with Cersei and LF indicate that she wants to be the right kind of queen (in defiance of Cersei's advice) and is being equipped with tools to achieve her own ends / play the game, for the right reasons, to good ends, but being handed tools nonetheless. She is so unfocused on her birthright and power, it seemed like she was meant to be contrasted with Cersei and Dany. The natural endpoint of that imo would be her becoming queen. And, if she is queen, I've argued that based on other queen's experiences, we must see her married as being a queen is a whole new set of risks, not a happy ending in and of itself.
Of course, some have speculated that the endgame will be indicated, not actually chronicled on the page, as in, Jon and Sansa fall in love, but Jon does get sent to the wall or goes into exile for a callback of what Sansa imagined she could do to save Ned, and we end kinda knowing, eventually they'll get back together, but the actual happy ending isn't on the page. Or the alternative scenario is that Jon is named KitN because of Robb's Will and marries Sansa to resolve all the chaos after parentage reveal. That's where your thoughts on the political aspect of marriage comes in because that would be very tidy. Actually, whoever is recognized by the Northern Lords, whether it’s my preference of Sansa or Jon, the heir issue was a big deal for Robb, so marriage / heirs will certainly come up and impact the plot.
As for Jonsa itself and it being icky to some, I've said before, I think Martin must have something he wants to do with incest beyond showcasing how toxic it is. As in, that is not a way to challenge the reader, by saying something we all know, and his whole shtick is to write complexity into every relationship, every hero, even many villains, so I don't for a minute believe that's he's introduced this topic without planning to ask the audience to think a little more deeply on it. To force us to look at it from a different angle. The way he does that is to give us heroes who are tempted and make us squirm until we get parentage reveal.
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celticcatgirl2 · 2 months
Text
God I fucking hate Vegeta so fucking much holy shit. Holy shit, every frame he's in, every scene, every gif, every jpeg, he's got this painfully smug, stupid as shit, fuckass look on his stupid scrunkly face. Absolutely no part of his ugly as sin piece of shit character design is endearing. His stupid fucking hairline? Who the hell makes a "bad boy" boy friend of the main girl with a hairline like that. His dumb short ass stumpy legs? His shitty, lumpy bastard head? The three thousand percent unnecessary dumbass shitass fucking POINTY HAIR STANDING UP IN ONE DIRECTION that no Saiyan has EVER FUCKING HAD IN tHE HISTORY OF GOD'S GREEN FUCKING EARTH? God, I hate him. I hate him so much. So FUCKING much. Every time I see a stuffed toy Vegeta or an Vegeta gif or a shitty goddamn anime clip, it ignites my primal rage response and I'm overcome by the need to punt this shitty little homunculus into the fucking sun. "Bhurr blur, I'm Vegeta the fuckshit monkey fucker, I am the prince of all Saiyans ". Fuck you. Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you. You look like the grumpy troll from trolls world tour summoned a patronus. Your dumb fucking twig hair makes your whole shitty head look like a hairy skin tag. I hate your dumb fucking creased forehead and your stupid, empty souless eyes and your over-the-top douchey ass arrogant asshole personality. Any scene he's sad it invokes all the wrath and fury of a spoiled child having a meltdown over a chocolate bar in a w*lmart checkout line. And I know its irrational. That's the worst part. I know he's just a shitty fucking side character in a stupid fucking Shonen anime, I know it doesn't matter, I know I shouldn't care. But that's part of the problem. The part where no matter the might and fury of my hatred, the locus of my homicidal intent is alltogether inconsequential. I find myself laying awake in the dark in the early hours of the morning consumed by the spirit of Wrath itself, all the force and might of a flaming hurricane directed at a bottle of piss in a ditch by the highway. The absurdity of it all burns me to my core. What better things could this energy be directed towards? And yet my disdain for this stupid, useless, insubstantial failure of endearing character design utterly eclipses the intrigue of all other pursuits. I hate him. I hate him on a level of my mind reserved for the worst of the world's array of sinners, and I can't even begin to justify it. Shitstick the Prince of all shitfucks is, for all intents and purposes, the animated corpse of all of humanity's saccharine pretenses- every condescending, passive-aggressive statement of meaningless upper middle class suburban drama distilled into a single, hateable form. The fucking. Fuck. I have no words. There is no cuss or epithet in any language that can encapsulate the height of the emotions I am experiencing. God, I hate him so much. I hate him so, so fucking much. I want to light his ugly little dumpster body on fire. I want to graphically beat him to death with his own stupid fucking scouter. I want to punch him to death. You know that weird feeling you get, when you see a picture of something so cute you find yourself overcome with the bizarre, inexplicable urge to squeeze it? It's EXACTLY like that, except instead of cuteness it's disgust. The wordless knowledge that his existence as a fictional work is evidence of all the failures of mankind. I find myself possessed by the will of a Holy Angel gone rogue with the belief that God has made a mistake, and I alone must correct it. This is the trial by which Samael himself fell from grace. This wild, meaningless rage. A thousand blades of shining steel cast with inhuman force in the direction of a plastic grocery bag floating on a breeze. What horrors must I have committed in a past life to be plagued by this torment now? I must Unmake this fictional alien
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theredengineapologist · 3 months
Note
From the ttte movies you seen, whats your fav?
✨THE GREAT RACE✨
The Great Race is THE BEST ONE! I may not have seen most of the other movies yet, but I'm very sure NOTHING is ever gonna beat this movie for me.
You're telling me they made a Thomas movie centered around what is basically a Train Pageant (tm) AND they made it a MUSICAL!!??? Hell yeah! Sign me up!
But then you actually get in to the movie and it gets even better.
EVERY SONG IS A BOP! EVERY! 👏 SINGLE! 👏ONE! 👏 THERE WAS NOT A SINGLE MISS IN THIS MOVIE! I don't know what they were on, but they were pumping out JAM after JAM!
Secondly, I think the Great Railway Show was a great way to introduce more foreign engines into the show in a way that made sense. Pity that we didn't really get to see much of them. But I also feel like we didn't really need to. I mainly just liked that we got to SEE them.
One of the things I LOVE about Brenner Era CGI Thomas is how the world of Sodor feels so much bigger. In the model series I get this sense that the Island of Sodor is this quaint little English countryside island where nothing much happens, and the engine's shenanigans are the most interesting things to happen in day-to-day life. Whereas I feel like in Brenner Era CGI Thomas, the world feels much grander. Still very much an English countryside island. But the island itself feels much bigger. The engines and the people living on it feel much busier. And in some ways I would say the cast itself feels more diverse once they gave the characters unique voices. I'm a sucker for shows that allow their characters to speak in different dialects, and giving Duck his West Country accent and the narrow gauge engines Welsch accents honestly endeared them to me more.
Anyway, main point I'm trying to get at is that the introduction of The Great Railway Show helped to expand the Thomas universe and show the rest of the world interacting with Sodor and vice-versa, even if only for a short period of time. It adds to the grandness of the world.
I also really like Thomas's arc in this movie. With how often he gets picked on for being a "little engine" over the course of the series, it's no wonder the guy's a little self conscious. If the narrator called me "short and stumpy" three times in a row I'd be pretty self-conscious too lol. But jokes aside, I did like seeing Thomas have conflict with this part of his identity. His verses in "You Can Only Be You" really made me feel for him, and I loved being able to see him finally come around at the end.
And of course, we can't talk about The Great Race without mentioning
HOW PRETTY JAMES'S DECORATIVE PAINTWORK IS!!!
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LOOK AT HIM! LOOK AT MY PRETTY BOY! GAZE UPON HIS BEAUTY AND HIS SPLENDIDNESS!!!
And you know what? I'm gonna say it. James deserved to win Best Decorated Engine. Sorry not sorry RAJIV! But they don't call me the Red Engine Apologist for nothing! My pookie deserved to win!
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One of these days I've got to do humanized versions of James's and Emily's looks from this movie. I can see it very clearly in my head but I also want to, um, draw other characters HAHAHAHA
Anyway, TLDR, The Great Race was an amazing movie with a killer soundtrack, great story, and a concept that appeals to ME SPECIFICALLY. I also genuinely think it would adapt very well into a stage musical (similar in visual style to the Spongebob musical). I have a clear vision in my head for what it would look like but unfortunately I don't have the money nor resources to make it a reality so it would just stay in my head. But just know that every time I watch this movie I am actively thinking about how I would hypothetically adapt this to the stage.
I''ve spent WAY too much time rambling about The Great Race but yeah, there's your answer.
Also if you're curious, here's every Thomas movie I've watched so far ranked from favorite to least favorite.
The Great Race (obviously)
Sodor's Legend of the Lost Treasure (Thomas had a great arc in this one, "Never Overlook a Little Engine" was fun, and visuals are spectacular. Solid movie but it can't beat the campiness of The Great Race)
The Adventure Begins (Solid movie. The other two are just more fun imo)
Tale of the Brave (It was a good movie and I probably would have appreciated it more if I watched it in High Quality. But unfortunately I can't stand Kerry Shale James and so I chose to watch a grainy upload on YouTube instead.)
Journey Beyond Sodor (I'm sorry to my one mutual (you know who you are) who said this was their favorite movie. But unfortunately, in my opinion, the songs do not slap as hard as in The Great Race)
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lockandkeyhyena · 20 days
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PLETHORA OF PETS UPON YOU
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Blue the dumbest Border Collie you'll ever meet. Would not survive a horror film unless it was an accident. Nickname Bluebear. He CAN be smart he just chooses not to be.
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Bailey, newfie no. 2. Has a labrador's stomach and logically should probably be dead with the things she has stolen off the counter. Resting sad face and uses it to her full advantage but she is a rescue so she gets a pass for not knowing how to be a Dog for half her life. Twice bear's size and only three. Her nickname has literally just become Big Dog. Drools.
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Bear, was newfie no. 1 and made it to thirteen. Nickname was carebear. Think Shadow from Homeward Bound. Didn't drool.
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Owl. Bit weird. Plays fetch with the little mouse toys you can get. Best boy. Nickname is actually Stumpy. Loved his mama who I unfortunately do not have anymore but it was best for her at the time and she found a very good forever home (she plays piano now!) Originally Lia, then permanently became Mia. She and chewy got cat divorced and she was a flourishing single mom.
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Chewy. Owl's deadbeat dad. Loudest, strangest purr I have ever heard. Likes to lay on your lap once he trusts you and stabs you with his claws.
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Harley. Harley-Barley. Harls. Bitch. This is Owl's bitchy wine aunt. I have scars on my arms from this cat. Will play with paper rolled into a ball only and every few seconds she will stop and groom herself when she realizes what she is doing. Actually loves the dogs though. Stares at you and sucks up to you until you give her tuna. Half the time too much of a diva to jump up onto the table to get her food so I have to lift her and hope she's in the right mood to be picked up.
I LOVE THEM ALL DEARLY!! thank u for sharing!!
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marzipanandminutiae · 2 years
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You have good legs and non-oily skin, so you don't have to be influenced too badly, but a huge reason polyester is so popular is because it's a good deal sturdier against mucus & sweat, & if the fat goes inside instead of outside your thighs, it can cause severe chafing and rashes from the buildup of bodily fluids. Also, cotton can turn really, really scratchy if exposed repeatedly to these fluids, whereas polyester just dissolves.
I appreciate the compliment, but would respectfully remind you that you don't know the specifics of my legs and skin. In fact, I have both "chub rub" and a (narrow, but definitely present) thigh gap. Further proof that the latter is far more dependent on bone structure than weight.
(Also, you know, all legs are good legs in terms of shape and size. Got a leg? That is then, aesthetically, a Good Leg. My stumpy, bulbous legs are good legs. Someone else's skinny legs are good legs. Someone else's fat legs are good legs. Congrats.)
And hoo boy, do I know about blown-out thighs on leggings. Blown-out thighs on 100% merino wool leggings, in fact, which I splurged on thinking they would last me a good long time. They did no. But my polyester leggings lasted about the same span, if not a bit shorter.
This may not be true for everyone, but I still prefer natural fibers in my leggings (I don't wear pants). Because they're more breathable than polyester, I find that I sweat less in them and therefore experience less chafing. I've never had cotton garments turn scratchy with sweat, or heard firsthand about that happening, but again, that could just be my personal experience and that of the people I know IRL. I don't want to invalidate your experiences, if that's happened to you.
But I will say that those experiences, as the meme goes, are not universal.
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