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#my success story
thementalshawty · 7 months
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My New Beginning (My way out)
(Mentions of disabilities, mental, emotional, physical abuse, S*x abuse, bullying, self harm, suicidal ideation, Domestic violence, be wary before reading).
So where to begin……. This is about familial abuse, so this has been something happening my whole life!!! My “mother” is a narcissist. She bullied me and my sister our whole lives, I am the third of 5 kids, she would pit us against each other and watch us fight to laugh and make fun, most of my insecurities stem from her clowning me in front of my brothers, funny enough she is NEVER ALONE, my father he abused us including her but he left and I thought we were better off for it, I wasn’t wrong but little did I know the monsters she’d allow into our lives after, I was getting molested by older brother and my mothers boyfriend before I even got to elementary school, my brother started when I was insanely young, and I still protected him as I didn’t know what tf was happening, her boyfriend started when I was in 4th grade, he wasn’t a drunk or anything just a pedophile, she knew he was because he got caught cheating on her with teenage girls and yet she still kept him around for a decade so wherever we moved he was there and I started to become angry, rage grew inside my soul like a fire that had no intention of burning out, on top of that he was abusive hitting and bruising me and my siblings who all have disabilities, you know my sister as she’s a tarot reader on here so I’m not going into specifics about them, but she would sit and watch and do nothing, she would hide food with him, have us stand in the corner for hours on end while they are food in front of our faces “mmmm that’s good”. She even forced to drink her breast milk in front of him, she despised us having friends, soo when I would have a friend she wouldn’t let me see them or go out or we would move, I’ve never stayed more than 2-3 years in any place my whole entire fuccin life! I don’t know anything but toxicity when it came to relationships, I tried to kill myself multiple times but they failed so I decided to be a burner, I just burned myself, the fire it was the rage inside me felt outside, I decided to tell my mother about the molester from her boyfriend when I was 15, because I told someone in school he told me I had to tell her or he would so I wrote her a letter, he had a gun in the house and put it to his head and said he was going to kill himself (gaslighting), she kicked him out for a day, brought him back then told me that I had to share her with him, so at 15 and with her knowledge of him molesting me, we all moved to California, we drove there, and that was awful, we all fought and he screams how he didn’t care about what he did to me and he was laughing in front of her, i ended up just sweeping that under the rug because i went to focus on my career I had acting classes so my mind was focused but I met a guy from school and he automatically hated him (the boyfriend) he told my mother and automatically I was told to stay away from him, I didn’t I had got arrested the year before so I had community service and he was helping me with that, I told him what happened I thought we were meant to be but he cheated on me with his sister and I found myself in her another Jerry springer bind but I found that out months after we broke up, but he stood up for me and he was the only one on the outside that actually came and defended my honor as sick as he is I will give him credit for that. A year later we’re moving bacc to NYC, before we did though, they got Into a fight (my mother and the boyfriend), pretending to break up, he went to the gas station filled a gas canister wit gas came back to the front door and poured gasoline on himself, obviously not lighting himself on fire because it was an act, he went to jail a week or two later she invited him back into her life, I already knew that it was going to happen because the shit was predictable at that point, Skipping ahead to 17, we moved back to NYC, we came separately, I came on a plane with my mother and the rest of my siblings drove back with him, because obviously she trusted him with children why wouldn’t she? She already knew what he was capable of, she didn’t care 🤷🏽‍♀️, when we got back to NyC she
Promises me that he’s not coming back into our lives that it’s over this time, I told her he’s going to gaslight her she says not gonna work, fast forward to when they all made it to the apartment, she approached me with the sob story I said he would come in with so she said she is letting him stay, I was going to just walk away, but my sister told me that she fought with him on the drive here, she stood up for me, he yelled at my older brothers and her that he did What he did to me cos he truly wanted to and he’s unapologetic for it, the flame it was uncontrollable and I blacked out I went into the room and I kicked him out myself. He yelled bullshit but he left, she hated me for that, so she started to sneak him in secretly then they started hiding food again, leaving us to literally shake, starve and feel sick, we learned how to improvise with what little we had. I was going to school so I didn’t care, speaking of school I was supposed to be on my last year of school, and I couldn’t graduate because my principal explained because I moved so much my credits were all over the place, so she told me I had to repeat a year that was devasting to me because in California I only had a few credits before I could graduate, I got two jobs because I just wanted to save up money to leave, she told my grandma lies oh she has a whole bunch of recruits that she tells constant lies too about us and what we do never the truth because they already feel she’s sick but they do nothing about it, family tho right? My grandma called me and so again we told her the truth and she helped us kick him out for good, (so that’s the end of boyfriend 1…. For now) I was finally 18!! So again I have no friendships nothing ever stuck, but I had two jobs and I was saving up for an apartment, I shouldn’t have done this but I was so proud of myself! I told her (my mother) that I was going to move out, get my own apartment and live on my own, she didn’t like that, she was saying that it was disloyal and what was she going to do without me and she needed help because most of my siblings have a disability, so I stayed, I couldn’t be disloyal when she needed me, that was a big mistake. A year later we are moving BACC to California because she has found A NEW BOYFRIEND, some guy she met over the phone, guess who helped her move back to California though (boyfriend #1), my brother who molested me left to go into the army, don’t worry he’s not in it any longer dishonorable discharge (it was fitting). So anyways the new boyfriend was some white guy who I felt meant no harm the fuccin dude was quiet and softspoken so I paid it no mind, but I was wrong, he was a drunk, not only was a he a drunk, he was a RACIST DRUNK! Did she care???? NOOOOOOO! Everytime I tried to leave she stopped me, til we fought then she would say to leave knowing I had nowhere to go, if I had a friend to go too she would hate that friend, funny thing is most friends that want to take me away from this be friends she introduced me too, she wanted to be friends with them but they wanted to be my friend yes they are younger people, I don’t have those friends anymore because they were very similar to her go figure right ? I thought I should call the cops, call for help, but everyone I reached out too did nothing INCLUDING COPS! So I felt backed into a corner, well I had my sister my little sister my rock, funny fun fact though, her new boyfriend ALSO LIKES LITTLE GIRLS oh and BOYS! He got arrested and she stood up for him, while he was doing that in her home, she would run away and leave us all my siblings in the house with him drunk calling us the N word, kicking doors down and causing mess, I couldn’t leave my siblings who couldn’t understand what was happening behind all I knew is that they were scared and their mother wasn’t there all she did was make excuses for him she told me I should kill myself, that I was a cunt that didn’t deserve her name, ( I don’t have it, I have my dads last name), that I was going to be nothing more than a whore, by this time………………
She knows about what my brother did to me I didn’t mention that confession because she just skipped right over it. She literally didn’t care and she told me to my face she believed he was only playing with me and I am confusing it all and that I know nothing about it because it happened to her and she the only one who knows pain and my pain doesn’t matter she tried to assault me and again tried to tell family but she already took the narrative so they weren’t trying to hear me out or help, in august of this year, me and my sister left, we went to stay in a motel for a week or two, with the help of my booking agent we didn’t have enough money to stay and the homeless shelters were all full and we’re not answering back, so we had no choice but to go back, we are back and nothing even a week later back to the drunk racist, not eating, starving routine, I wanted to die and I felt like a failure! I couldn’t even get out of bed I felt like I deserved this I got my sister out to end up right back 2 WEEKS LATER?!?!! I fuccin hated myself! He was drunk and again causing ruckus, she came back a morning later and was telling him to leave, he was going to hit her, my brother (diagnosed with MR) was out there with my younger brother (autism) and they were scared and standing up for her and the boyfriend was in their faces what was I supposed to do???? Me and my sister tried to help and she tried to tell us to leave for helping her!!!!! Me and my sister decided to just call the police, they started to fight, and he tried to kill her, the police got him out, and they told her that she was lucky to have her kids here, we cleaned up her room after he broke her whole house apart, I mean EVERYTHING IS TORN APART RN!!!! she decided that she was going to move down to Texas with the molesting brother because he has kids, (oh yeah other fun fact she kept forcing me to have kids she even wanted me to give her my eggs so she can have kids with both of those boyfriends she approached me TWICE ABOUT IT, one she wanted my eggs and the other she wanted me to be pregnant for her!) So now my brother has kids she was like saying she knows I’ll never have kids and I’ll be forever alone, that no one will ever love me, anyways skipping to now my birthday came and left I’m 27 now! The housing program that me and my sister signed up for began to pend and we found a place! We didn’t tell her we found a place and that we were in a program we didn’t even tell her that we went down the city. We ended up getting a random woman come into the house and serve us she was evicting us (my mother) even on the eviction notice it says no fault just cause, she didn’t even tell me, so we have 60 days to leave and vacate her premises! Funny enough yesterday my sister got her APPROVAL NOTICE!!! Mine is still pending but I know that I’m getting approved and if all goes well we will be in our transitional home on SATURDAY! We finally did it, dug our way out, I didn’t think that I could and that I would, I would’ve been opened up to someone if I didn’t believe that it was against the family or that no one would love me like she did, she painted the world as such a unloving place and that this toxicity was normal and for the longest I believed it, but I am waking up now! And I am looking forward to beginning my life AWAY FROM HER! Just me and my rock @silvershiningtarot I AM NOT ASHAMED OF MY STORY, I’m only ashamed I kept quiet for so long, I allowed them to get away with everything and they took control of the narrative but I’m taking my power back! This is the first chapter of my success story! I’m not looking for claps or sympathy or for yky to actually care or anything I just wanted to put my story out there because this shit shouldn’t be in the dark anymore, mothers can be demons, family can be a dark and scary word for people and they’re not family, only relation! And I wanted to make that clear! RELATION DOESN’T MEAN FAMILY
I feel more familial love from you guys on here than I ever did anywhere! My music gave me hope and tarot gave me community
You deserve to know your reader through and through!
Thank you!!! For listening and taking the time for hearing this sad ass story, I hope I didn’t drag your day down! 💋
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msallurea · 5 months
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Yall guess tf what😂🥴 so I made a post on the things I manifested and in one of them I explained I manifested a 20 dollar bill but it wasn't exactly how I wanted it to go but I still received, yall tell me why I got mail from my grandmother and turns out it was a Christmas card and guess what? It was a fucking 20 dollar bill in it😭😭😭and it's all mine too. Yall I literally just realized that I had manifested it and I know I did because in class as I was making my post I got to the 20 dollar bill part and I remember thinking "dang I really want my 20 dollars" and I even visualized me getting 20 dollars it wasn't even a clear visual but I knew it was me getting 20 dollars. Literally I just realized I manifested it right after I saw the 20 dollars
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sjytify · 2 years
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HELLO MY LUVS! i missed all of u 😭 I HAVE A STORY TO TELL U GUYS!! so i’ve been manifesting my old friend (also my old crush) to contact me and a few days ago HE DID!! i posted a pic of me on my ig story n he said i was pretty i was like WHAAAATTTT? n he kept on saying sweet things to me like look at these pics??? gosh am i falling in love again? 😭😭 N HE’S ASKING ME TO HANGOUT W HIM YALL??? i def manifested this ✨
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audreyassumptions · 15 days
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HOW I MANIFESTED MY DREAM REALITY IN A DAY
WHAT I MANIFESTED:
- name change
- trilingualism
- 5”10 height
- thin and slender body
- a RAGING golden tan
- face like adriana lima’s
- top grades + intelligence
- dp has a FAT crush on me
HOW I DID IT:
- robotic affirmations in my head (for example repeating ‘I have everything I desire’ over and over in my head whenever I’m free throughout the day)
- visualizing
- law of assumption
- the belief that I am God and I am the creator of my own reality
- PERSIST, PERSIST, AND PERSIST SOME MORE I SWEAR TO GOD THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING
- being crazy delulu
I never actually used the void state for this, because I found that putting the void state on a pedestal was limiting my beliefs. Please refrain from thinking too much about the void or from putting it on a pedestal because this can really hinder your progress. Remember, you are the void. The void is inside you. You don’t need to ‘enter’ it because it is already there!
That’s it, just remember to have a positive mindset and be literally as delusional as you possibly can be. Worked for me!! This took about a whole day to work, and the next day I woke up and it was all manifested (sounds crazy but it’s true and I literally started jumping and squealing like a five year old when I realised it worked). Most importantly, remember that manifesting is supposed to be fun, so go have fun and enjoy yourself!! :)
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given the current connotations involved it’s kind of funny that the fictional character who has probably canonically logged the most hours of therapy is tony soprano
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vixeneptune · 19 days
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☆ The universe obeys my wishes and commands
☆ I'm spoiled and catered to by the entire world , my happiness is the only thing that matters
☆ time isn't real , everything that I want already exists now
☆ reality is so malleable and easy to manipulate and change
☆ my mind is so powerful I can easily bend reality to my will , I have the power of god inside me
☆ my desires are obsessed with me
☆ my beautiful imagination and inner reality is my true reality and I manifest it easily without lifting a finger
☆I don't have to chase anything , anything I want wants me 10000x times more
☆ my life is like a movie and I'm the main character
☆ stress and doubts don't even exist in my reality, I'm so carefree and unbothered I was put on this earth to experience everything i want
☆ I'm a goddess incarnated as human , but I still have the beauty and the aura of a goddess
☆ I literally get every single thing I set my mind to
☆ I'm a star , ofc I shine. I naturally steal the spotlight. I'm iconic , I'm the moment
☆ I have supernatural magnetism, everyone is magnetically and hypnotically drawn towards me
☆ I embody the true essence of love and beauty and I radiate love and beauty
☆ my beauty and my energy light up the room, I turn heads wherever I go. I'm a natural mogger , always the most attractive in the room
☆ I get what I want, doesn't matter what or when or how. If I want it, i get it.
☆ I have an abundance mindset, an infinite amount of love, money, and beauty within me and all around me. I attract amazing opportunities and possibilities bc im naturally super lucky and abundant
☆ I'm booked and busy, my life is so exciting and eventful I always have amazing things coming up
☆ I'm a natural influencer, I'm the IT girl everyone wanna be like me or be with me
☆ my sexual magnetism is off the charts, people can't help but crave me and fantasize about me. I'm irresistible and magnetic
☆ I have zero resistance, nothing holds me back, nothing can stop or block my powerful energy
☆ I love how everything works out for me on its own its like life is rigged in my favor always and forever
☆ I naturally inspire everyone around me with my powerful beautiful presence
☆ there's something about me so addictive that has people wanting more like they can't get enough of me
☆ I'm so pleasing to look at and be around, people feel so good in my presence. They get excited to see me and talk to me
♡♡♡
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argxstxs · 1 year
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Ohhhhhhhh shiv’s face when she realized that she’s going to be cut out of the boy’s club AGAIN and this time with a baby she can’t even talk about with her husband without risking being seen as soft … Kerry being humiliated by Marcia and the rest of the family… shiv falling down in front of a room of snickering men… gerri being thrown out as easily as garbage… connor’s mom being talked about less like a human being and more as fodder for a pr campaign…
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ahaura · 1 month
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im sure its been said already but as the election draws near more and more liberals will come out of the woodwork to shame people with a conscience to give away their vote to the democrats for free. i'm already seeing posts saying "why aren't people more concerned about a trump presidency?" you want to know why? it's because people already know he's bad. everyone already knows what he is and what he's done and what he'll do. there's nothing to discuss. he's a racist despotic worm of a man. there's nothing else to say.
biden is currently president. the genocide is happening under his watch. he's the one funding isra*l and arming them; he's sidestepped congress more than once to give them weapons. by oct. 27, the biden administration already knew that "Israel was regularly bombing buildings without solid intelligence that they were legitimate military targets." the state department/biden have engaged in atrocity propaganda, cast doubt on the legitimacy of the death toll recorded by the gaza health ministry, and so on. the united states is currently in the process of trying to pin the "war in gaza" on netanyahu (see sen. schumer's speech) after months of backing blatant genocide as a means to act as if they're "doing something" about the genocide (Instead of, say, threatening to cut off all aid to israel with the condition that all hostilities in gaza, the west bank, and occupied jerusalem are halted immediately and permanently, allowing palestinians freedom to travel, allowing aid into gaza, etc etc etc.)
the long and short of it is that liberals view their own lives as being worth more than palestinians'. that's it. they'll vote for another 4 years of the guy ushering in genocide and supporting apartheid + settler colonialism because he isn't outright attacking them (despite various laws and rulings happening both at the supreme court level and at the local level all over the country that will endanger people). they'll settle for the illusion of safety and security and shame anyone with a conscience and accuse them of "supporting the republicans" when in an actual democracy you would be able to use your vote as leverage to extract concessions from those who want to be elected. that's how it's supposed to fucking work.
democrats are not owed people's vote. if biden loses, it will be biden's fault; it will be his campaign's fault; it will be the democrats' fault. trump is bad; the republicans are bad. we already know this. this is not an endorsement of either. but if democrats are too cowardly and feckless and servile to the motivations of the american empire and never do anything for their constituents then why the fuck should anyone vote for them. you want to get mad at someone, why don't you do something useful and stop worrying about team-sports with a purely selfish basis and start hounding the people in power who are supposed to serve you, the voter.
#i think i already said this and frankly idc#uspol#📁.zip#to me personally it's abhorrent and vile to tell palestinians 'biden is facilitating the murder of your people culture and history but you#still have to vote for him!!1' like how is that not unbelievably callous and ghoulish#frankly speaking. a lot of this 'you should be concerned about trump' is going to turn into#blaming palestinians and arabs and muslims and anyone remotely with a conscience for biden's loss#instead of doing something productive like pushing for people in power to do something they'll nitpick and belittle#and tell palestinians + arabs and muslims + everyone who understands that genocide is bad that they SHOULD#settle for a decrepit genocidal monstrous freak who is CURRENTLY facilitating genocide because#it makes THEM feel better and they aren't personally threatened (yet) by the guy currently in power#any and all 'you're not taking trump seriously' comments should be met with extreme skepticism#because i promise i PROMISE that the vast majority of people unhappy with biden are not going to turn around and vote for trump#and if they do? well guess what THAT'S BIDEN'S FAULT! nevermind the vote uncommitted campaign that was very successful and#will be replicated in the near future. but liberals only care about asthetics and superficial and not#about real material change which is why they'll dress up their callousness and racism in a 'you hate gay people if you dont vote for biden'#like this country is already going to shit we are rapidly descending into fascism and i dont see biden doing anything to even remotely#challenge it do you???? once agian. NOT an endorsement of the republican party but my GOD when the 'lesser evil'#is DOING the evil or normalizing the evil then you cannot settle for 'the lesser'! end of story.
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etherealkissed88 · 7 months
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☆ 𝐣𝐚𝐧𝐢’𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ☆
ethereal posts
key concepts
reminders n vaunts
ask jani
success stories
extras
challenges
kisses, jani𖥔
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theoldkyokodied · 1 year
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tomgreg doodle dump <3
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tricoufamily · 2 months
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idk how experimental you can say this really is for me but it's a new reshade and skin details so this counts <3 anyway yesterday i wrote down an idea for a short story and it's one bullet point and it says "a rockstar picks up a homeless hitchhiker in the 70s. something homosexual happens" and that's the whole thing. the rockstar 👨‍🎤
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msallurea · 8 months
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whats the first thing u consciously manifested?
The first thing I think I consciously manifested was passing my test with my desired grades. I was super nervous especially because everyone around me Literally kept saying they failed without even seeing the grades yet n I just simplified the law on spot based in everything I knew, applied it the whole day until it was time to see em n I ended up having exactly what I wanted despite everything opposing it the whole day
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bitchthefuck1 · 2 months
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Tom's line about Shiv being selfish and "find[ing] it very hard to think about me" is actually so telling because while it's absolutely true that she rarely takes his position into consideration, Tom never once thinks about what he can do to help Shiv unless it also benefits him.
Every single time he makes a move or sacrifice that might help her, it's always something that he thinks will give him a leg up. He volunteers to take the fall for cruises, not for Shiv, who is in no way implicated, or even for Waystar, but because he thinks it'll ingratiate him to Logan, and the second it seems like he might have to actually follow through on that, he immediately tries to get out of it and even throws Shiv under the bus. Meanwhile, for all that Shiv disregards his interests, there are a number of things she does that only help him, and she's the one who actually sacrifices something and undermines her position with Logan to beg him not to let Tom go to jail.
It just makes it so clear that no matter how much he might love her (and I think he does, in his own compromised way), for him their relationship was always built on the underlying assumption that it's her job to prop him up, but it's not his job to help her.
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thecryptidart1st · 4 months
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THERE'S GONNA BE A BENDY MOVIE
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The divide between the Dad Friends™️ and Doug Houser continues to grow with this relevation
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audreyassumptions · 13 days
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AUDREY’S VOID METHOD
This worked for me after a couple nights and I successfully entered the void. Here’s how I did it <3
1. Lie down in a comfortable position (it’s rlly hot where I live so I didn’t have any covers on me or anything, I was literally just lay there with nothing covering me)
2. Listen to Edward Art’s ‘I am’ meditation on YouTube :)
3. Put on brown noise (I put the meditation and the brown noise in a playlist so it would play automatically after)
4. Focus on the black behind your eyes and continue to imagine that everything surrounding you is just empty blackness
5. Repeatedly affirm for the void, don’t keep checking if you’re there, try to distract yourself
6. You’re in the void!
This worked for me after a couple tries, but that’s not to say you shouldn’t get results earlier. It’s all about mindset. Persist and I promise you’ll get there.
Love from, Audrey <3333 ;)
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pensiveant · 1 year
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something about tom directly comparing himself to logan in his relationship to shiv. "it's not my fault you didn't get his approval, *i* gave you approval." to shiv, tom was supposed to be her way out. to tom, shiv was the way in. fundamentally incompatible. and now he's assimilated so well into the roy family dynamics that he thinks his approval should fulfill the same role as logan's. and if it doesn't, well clearly it's because there's something wrong with shiv. even the wording he uses: "it doesn't fill you up because you're broken." he sees shiv as hollow, something to be filled up by her husband/father. of all the things tom says and does to shiv, this one's the most gut-churning to me.
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