My Suha - By Chahyun (9/10)
The long wait was worth it. This is a long, dramatic read that features a surprising amount of realism. If you're looking for a light rich guy/secretary story go somewhere else. The side characters are great. The villains are hateable, and there is no perfect happy ending. Life doesn't work like that.
Suha is kind of a slut. He's 32 and he isn't into commitment. He has a favorite gay bar. He's got a great job as a corporate secretary, because he's got great connections. The owner of the company is basically his grandmother, so he was able to get opportunities that would otherwise not be possible. His father died, so grandma CEO took his whole family in. It's kind of implied that he was an important employee, and grandma owed him alot of favors. How sweet...
Not.
Suha is basically a modern indentured servant. CEO Grandma is the ultimate villain, who always believes she is right. Question everything. Alot of the people in Suha's past have used him.
Suha used to care for grannies not-so-beloved grandson, Jiwoon, when he was still a child. Jiwoon was "slow". He is the black sheep of the family. His parents abandoned him. His father left the family because, shocker, Granny was so controlling that she tried to force him to get a divorce. Apparently, his wife wasn't good enough. That's a sane and nice thing to say. His father ran off with his wife, but he left his son behind. He believed that his son should benefit from the family fortune. His father wasn't confident enough. He thought Jiwoon would resent him one day, if he took away the boy's chance to be rich and privileged.
Jiwoon, of course, quickly developed abandonment issues and his health got bad. Grandma favors her other grandson, from her more obedient son. Jiwoon dealt with near constant emotional abuse and neglect. In a gold cage, with five star food.
Suha was his only light, and Suha has no clue.
Suha becomes Jiwoon's secretary. It's a coincidence. Jiwoon is really, really repressed. He is also bisexual. He's had a crush on Suha for uh...about 15 years??? He wanted to get over it, but he couldn't. He's really, really good at repressing his emotions. Grandma and Suha don't even know he's interested in men.
He starts to snap slowly.
This is Ms. Choi. We love Ms. Choi. We love all the side characters that aren't villains. She's a potential wife for Jiwoon, but she notices he's crazy first. She knows he's dead serious about being with Suha forever. Suha sure doesn't. He doesn't figure it out for ages. Ms. Choi's sharp instincts are our first real hint.
Something Is Very Wrong With Him.
Suha and Jiwoon start hooking up.
Suha thinks it's not serious. Jiwoon plays along. He tells white lies, but he does want to date.
Small problem.
Suha "dated" his extremely abusive and spoiled brother. You know, the grandson granny prefers???
Do-hyeok is a monster. He only thinks about using the people around him for cash or pleasure. He's also into men, and women. He's a lecherous and merciless person. Suha has always been an attractive man. He took advantage of Suha's youth, and his grateful debt to granny, to drag him into a casual relationship.
Suha genuinely loved him. Do-hyeok pressured him into group play, and it basically got to the point where he was Suha's pimp. What happened in their relationship is...detailed and awful, and it explains why Suha is so afraid of commitment.
He thinks love doesn't last.
Jiwoon really does love Suha. He lays it on thick. He waits for Suha to get more comfortable. They go to the gym in matching clothes. Jiwoon sometimes follows him around. Jiwoon sometimes uses Suha's sister to track his location, daily life, and habits. Jiwoon knows what he likes in bed. Jiwoon hates his whole family and the company that currently makes him rich.
He has no friends.
He is the same antisocial boy he was.
He's just better at hiding it.
Do-hyeok attacks Suha. It's an amazing and dramatic arc. Suha bites his tongue and he ends up saving Jiwoon in the end too. It's great. Love wins. The evil is defeated.
....Jiwoon starts to get more controlling after Suha is injured.
He steals Suha's phone.
He tells Suha to quit his job, and somehow things still keep escalating.
We reach a breaking point where Suha is constantly reassuring his boyfriend. Jiwoon begs Suha to stay. He says he's everything, but that's too much. After a whole month of bring imprisoned with lies Suha snaps.
After the Do-hyeok situation Suha was put on leave to recover. Jiwoon extended this leave, and he started isolating Suha. Suha has friends and a loving family. All of them start looking for him. Jiwoon goes off the deep end, believing that Suha will delete everyone and wait at home for him forever.
It's all for his sake.
Jiwoon takes Do-hyeok down, while Suha is locked up in a safe luxury apartment. His fraudulent spending is exposed thanks to Suha's amazing friends and Jiwoon's obsessive desire for vengeance. Justice comes, but when it does Suha wants to go back to work.
Jiwoon doesn't want him to go back to work.
Suha leaves the prison of love, and he says he needs a break.
After a break Jiwoon tells Suha to come back to work. He does. Jiwoon has become his old self. The shell of perfection with no particular feelings for anyone. The perfect businessman, but his clothes are even nicer. He looks great. Suha thinks that he may have moved on, but Jiwoon is trying to be normal so he can be the right partner for Suha.
Suha says he loves Jiwoon. He doesn't have to be perfect and polite all the time....but uhhhh hiding his phone, using his sister, and trying to eliminate all of his friends...wasn't good.
Suha and Jiwoon go visit Jiwoon's parents, so the healing process can begin. It turns out that Jiwoon has two adult siblings he will never know. His parents had them after they abandoned him. He decides that he can't forgive them, but he wishes them well.
He moves on to a better chapter of his life, with Suha.
I would have made this review longer, but this story really is worth reading. It's dramatic, but the characters feel real and rough and sad. They're adults in their thirties struggling with being queer and lonely and emotional baggage. Jiwoon is also an enjoyable yandere, who does deserve his bittersweet happy ending.
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