#my theme changing will give you whiplash you just gotta get used to it

[abraxos-is-toothless]

Surprises (12)

SMUT WARNING! Eh I don’t know if it’s good, it’s most likely terrible but I tried. It’s milder than the smut that’s out there but I still gotta warn people:)

Warnings: Brief violence in this one. There will be swearing, mature themes, mentions of alcohol at times, and mentions of sex. I will update warnings as I go if needed.

Surprises Masterlist.

Full Masterlist.

Chapter 12

—————

Azriel had never seen his brothers move as fast as they did in that moment. One second Elain’s father was running at them, arm raised, and in the next, Cass and Rhys had the man by his shoulder and were pushing him back. He tried again but the boys were like a wall of concrete, there was no breaking through. Nesta and Feyre were at Elain’s side after that, holding her and fussing as she cried and stared in shock at the man who’d raised her. He moved to stand in front of his mother when she began shouting and the drunkard turned his anger on her.

“Weylan! That’s your daughter and my son. How fucking dare you?!”

Mister Archeron simply sneered at her, swaying on unsteady legs as he said absolutely awful things about his own flesh and blood.

“As I understand it Lys, my beloved daughter,” he spat the word as if it disgusted him “went and got herself knocked up. The way I see it, she’s no better than a common whore. If it wasn’t for her, for any of them, I’d still have my wife. And now, I’m going to be the laughing stock of the town because the little tramp couldn’t keep her legs closed.”

Feyre was crying now, tears streaming down her face, Nesta had put on a blank and dead seeming look and Elain had wrapped her arms around her waist as if that would protect her. He couldn’t help it then, after the way Weylan had said such horrid things about the girls. About his lovely Ellie. Azriel’s fist met the man’s face with a sickening crunch and blood spewed from Weylan’s nose as he dropped to his knees, cursing and grunting in pain.

“Come anywhere near my family again, Mister Archeron, and you will not like the consequences.” He left the man there and turned to go back to Elain, catching his mother’s proud look, Rhys’ smug one and saw that Cassian had both Nes and Feyre under each of his arms, whispering words of love and comfort no doubt. When he reached the girl who had stolen his heart, he tipped her head up to look at him and brushed away the few remaining tears and kissed each of her cheeks before placing one to her lips.

“Let’s get you inside to grab some things and then I’ll take you home, to my home. I’ll make you a nice dinner and then you can relax, yeah?”

She only nodded, such emptiness on her face that it made him wish he’d given her father much more than a broken nose. Azriel drops his hand to link his fingers through hers, gently leading her up to the house. The others had moved inside since, all sat in the living room as his mother provided everyone with what looked to be hot chocolate and he leaned down to tell Elain to go up and pack. Once she was gone he turned to face everyone else, breathing in deep before he explained what was going on.

“I won’t be home tonight Mom, I want to take Ellie to the house, my house, so she can be alone and rest for a few hours at least.” She sat next to Nesta rubbing her back gently as Cass played with her fingers; turning away from where she watched as Rhys rocked Feyre gently back and forth in his lap, and smiled at him. 

“That’s alright sweetheart, just make sure she eats, she needs it.” She turned to address the girls as if they were her own. “You two are coming home with us, I don’t want you alone with your father anymore. He can’t be trusted at the moment, but I’ll come back tomorrow before my shift and see if he’s sober. Maybe I can convince him to get proper help.” There was no response, only a nod from Nesta.

The stairs creaked a little and he turned, breath catching and heart rate picking up. Elain had changed into soft sweats, a pale pink tee, with her long brown locks tied on the top of her head. Her freckles were standing out along the bridge of her nose and her deep brown eyes seemed to have a little sparkle to them. She was the most beautiful thing he’d ever laid eyes on. Someone cleared their throat behind him and he whipped his back, so fast he thought he might have whiplash, to see Cassian smirking and wiggling his brows. Az simply flipped him off, murmuring a goodbye to everyone before leading his girlfriend out of the house and to his car. Weylan was still out there, drinking again but it didn’t look like he noticed them as they got into the car so he simply reversed it from the drive, keeping a hand on Elain’s thigh, just for the sake of touching her. When he turned his head a few minutes later, she looked so very tired that he couldn’t help when he said;

“Sleep baby, I’ll wake you in a little bit.”

Her response was a mumble, her eyes already closing, “Okay. I love you.”

He smiled without restraint, feeling like his heart would burst.

“I love you too, Sunshine.”

oOoOo

Elain woke when she felt an arm under her knees and shoulders, and then was lifted. She blinked tired eyelids to find herself in Azriel’s arms. He was carrying her and her bag and was now trying to unlock the door with only one hand.

“Put me down you big idiot, you’re making life harder carrying all of my weight around and I’ll have you know that I can walk perfectly fine.” He rolled his eyes and then smugly winked at her when the lock clicked and he managed to push the door open. He placed her down in the living room and kissed her forehead before speaking gently;

“You weigh nothing El, stop being ridiculous.”

“I do Az, and it’s only going to get worse from here on out.”

“You won’t be getting fat if that’s what you believe, you’ll be carrying a child, my child. I’ll carry you both wherever you wish it.” She couldn’t help her blush and tried to move her gaze away but he cupped her face before she had the chance, “I mean it, and you’ll always be beautiful in my eyes. Now, why don’t you go and take a nice hot shower and get those jammies on while I make us something to eat, hmm?”

She kissed his cheek with a quick ‘thank you’ before making her way up the stairs and made her way to the room they used, the one with an en suite. The shower was easy enough to figure out and Elain stripped out of her clothes as she let the water warm up. There was a full length mirror in the room and she couldn’t help but stare as she stood there, bare as the day she was born. Her brows furrowed as her eyes roamed her form and stopped on the view of her stomach. Turning her body, she stood to get a look from the side and gasped, because with a clearer view, she could see the small bump beginning form. Elain ran gentle fingers over it as she climbed into the shower, the heat good for her aching muscles. The growing happiness she was feeling vanished the minute she closed her eyes, her father’s words and angry face invading her mind.

“No better than a common whore.”

“If it wasn’t for her, for any of them, I’d still have my wife.”

“The little tramp couldn’t keep her legs closed.”

She must have spent the whole shower spaced out and crying once again because she hadn’t realised that the shower was now running cold. Stepping back out and turning off the water, she wrapped a fluffy towel around her body and walked back into the bedroom. Just as her arms reached for her clothes, Azriel came through the door, and her eyes widened as her hands clutched the towel to her chest.

“Elain! I was jus-”

When he saw her, it looked as if his eyes were going to pop out, looking her up and down before he looked back at her face and instantly covering his eyes with his hands. The blush adorning his cheeks did not go unmissed by her.

“Fuck El, I’m sorry, I didn’t think. I was only coming up to as-”

He was starting to ramble and Elain knew he wouldn’t stop unless she did something so she walked over and gently took a hold of his wrists and brought his hands away from his face. It stopped him talking but he didn’t look at her, just kept his eyes trained on the ceiling as if the patterns were the most interesting thing in the room.

“It’s okay Az, you’re allowed to see. I just wasn’t expecting you to come up that’s all and besides, you’ve seen it all before or we wouldn’t be having a baby, would we?”

“That’s different, it will always be different. I should have knocked.”

There was only one thing she could do to make him believe that she meant it, something she had been thinking about but had no idea if she was ready for it. But she was ready now; she wanted him, all of him. She steeled her voice to not give away her nerves as she whispered, “Look at me.”

He did, slowly, and when their eyes met, she moved his hands to the knot in the towel that was keeping it on her body. Elain heard as his breath caught and felt his hands begin to shake, grabbing them tighter as he tried to pull away.

“Elain...”

She couldn’t help the sigh that escaped her lips, knowing this was going to be his reaction. “You asked me to promise you that I wouldn’t do anything unless I was absolutely sure. I’m sure that I want you, that I love you. Don’t you want to?”

“Of course I do, it’s all I think about sometimes.”

She brought her hands up to his hair, scratching along his scalp, knowing that it was something that he liked. “Then what’s wrong?”

He touched their foreheads together and closed his eyes and she felt his response breathed against her lips, “I’m just nervous. You don’t remember your first time so this is basically all new to you. I don’t want to fuck up; I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t,” she dragged his hands back to the towel and undid the knot with him “I swear you won’t.” The towel dropped but she didn’t look away from him, she just watched as Azriel slowly dropped his eyes to look at her, and then felt his scarred hands glide along her sides to her hip then further, across her ass to grip her thighs before he lifted her onto his waist. He walked to bed and slowly lowered her onto her back before climbing over her, his fingertips drifting along her stomach and freezing there. Now seeming to realise the signs of his, no their, growing child.

“Is- Is that what I think it is?” he whispered.

“Yes.”

He laughed as his eyes filled with tears and he rested his whole hand there as he kissed her. It was hard and rough, his teeth sinking into her bottom lip before he soothed the ache with his tongue. She brought her hands up to grip his shoulders as she deepened the kiss, arching her back slightly to push their hips together and feeling Azriel moan against her mouth before pulling away. His eyes had darkened, just a rim of hazel left, lips red and parted with quick breaths. His hands moved up to her breasts, fingers of one hand circling a peaked nipple, making her whine as he whispered;

“So perfect.”

Elain’s hands drifted down his back to grip the hem of his shirt and lifted it over his head when he nodded. She didn’t even get to look at him for very long and then his mouth was on her again, only this time he was sucking and biting her neck, leaving a few marks before travelling lower. Her nails dug into skin as he ran his tongue over a nipple, closing his mouth over it while his hand massaged the other. He switched after a few minutes before he started to move down again. She tensed as his kisses reached below her navel, a question rising in her throat.

“What are you doing?”

“Taking care of you.”

“But you- you’re-”

“If you don’t want me to, I won’t. I just, girls say it’s good, enjoyable.” He shrugged, a sheepish look on his face as their eyes met.

“You mean you’ve never...”

Azriel shook his head and smiled, just the corners of his mouth rising a little. “No, I never cared for it, it was always about me. But I care about you Ellie, let me make this good for you.”

She nodded, albeit a little hesitantly, and then he was in between her thighs again, placing open mouthed kisses there before his tongue was between her folds. There was no stopping the obscenely loud cry she let out, twisting her hand through his hair and pulling tight, causing him to moan into her. He didn’t relent, tongue moving in and out of her, occasionally moving to suck on that little bundle of nerves at the apex of her thighs.

“Gods Az. I need...” She had to force the words out, too overrun with pleasure to form a coherent thought.

But it was like he already knew because he brought up his right hand, pushing two fingers in alongside that mischievous tongue as he watched her. There were too many sensations, making her eyes roll back into her head but Elain forced herself to grip his hair once more, pulling him up to kiss her. She could taste herself but that was the last thing on her mind when the sound of his zipper filled the room. When she pulled back to run her mouth and tongue over his shoulder, she noticed he was only in his boxers and decided it was her to turn to make him feel good. Her hands trailed down his chest to his stomach, running her fingers along the top of his waistband and eventually dipping inside. As her hand wrapped around him, he dropped his head into the sheets below them and groaned while she gave a few tentative strokes. When she figured out he was enjoying it, she gripped her hand tighter and sped up, but didn’t get to do so for long as his hand stilled her wrist.

“If you keep going like that, this will not last.” And so she let go, only to drag that last barrier between them away. She gasped when it was gone and the hardest part of him touched the softest part of her. Azriel linked a hand with one of hers and moved her other to his back, letting his free one grip his length, guiding himself between her folds but not entering.

“Tell me to stop El, tell me you don’t want this.”

“Don’t stop, please don’t stop.”

He closed his eyes and breathed out as he pushed in and she squeezed his hand tight, dragging her nails down his back. When he was buried to the hilt, she felt lips on her forehead, nose, cheeks and then a final brush against her own. His hand moved down her leg, gripping under her knee to wrap around his waist, the other following naturally. He kept his own forehead pressed to hers, as if he needed it to ground him, needed something to stay in control.

“Baby? Can I move?”

There were no words, no thoughts, just him and her and everywhere they touched, so all she could do was nod. His hips pulled back slowly before thrusting back in with more force and her brain finally caught up with how she was feeling and she moaned loudly which Az seemed to like as he thrust harder again, rocking them together steadily, bringing his thumb to her clit and rubbing in circles as she arched her back and moved her own hips to meet his. After a while she could see the sweat beginning to form along his brown and the dips of his collarbone, feeling the stickiness of her own skin too. She brought her hand from his back to his ass and squeezed, pulling him to move faster against her, making him let out another moan of his own. Too soon, she felt that heat in the pit of her stomach as it coiled tighter and she met his eyes with her own wild ones, vision starting to go white.

“Together Elain, we go together.” He groaned out, thumb moving in faster, harder circles, his movements erratic and their hips falling out of rhythm. She didn’t know whether it was him, his words or his hands but when she finally fell over that cliff he indeed fell with her, his muscles tensing underneath her touch as her head tipped back in a final cry of pleasure. As she was coming down from that high, she felt his face in the crook of her neck whispering words that made fall apart over and over again as his hand cradled that tiny little bump that meant so much.

“I love you, both of you. Till the day I die and after that too.”

—————

How did I do? Was it terrible or did you like it? I’m practicing so I am trying! If you want to be added/removed from the tags then just give me a shout💙

Tags: @starlitfangirl @starsauroras @drunken-starz @myfriendscallmeraba  @thesirenwashere @empress-sei @elrielllll  @stars-falling @cirieael @verifiefangirl  @theshadowsinger-and-thefawn @fancyclodpaintercookie @acourtofterrasenandvelaris @silver-flames @queen-of-glass @bamchickawowow @empress-ofbloodshed @sleeping-and-books @b00kworm @kvi-arts @rhysandhlcor @tswaney17 @awkward-avocado-s @judexcardanxgreenbriar @junkiejosten10 @mu-si-ca-l @agem10 @harmonyindark245 @slightly-sane-fangirl @tanaquilpriscilla

#elain archeron #azriel #elain x azriel #azriel x elain #elriel #surprises fic #surprises #my fic #modern au #teenage pregnancy #feyre archeron #nesta archeron #rhysand #cassian #rhys’ mother is here #so is mr archeron #i made him bad #i regret nothing #smut #awful smut? #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas #acotar fic #a court of thorns and roses #a court of mist and fury #a court of wings and ruin #a court of frost and starlight

[ducknotinarow]

4. [Richard/Bailey] “I love you so much, you have no idea to what limits i’d go, to prove that to you.” |word count 1,668 | @aflockoffeathers

NSFW content: Yandere themes, injuries, car accidents, violence. Alcohol mentioned 

a/n  Don’t hurt his rooster, more Richard in this one since the nugget got hurt

--

Richard had been in this place before, coming into the hospital to the sight of Bailey resting in one of the rooms. Though not so late in the night when visitors were not really allowed in. His heart unsettled and heavy  when walking into their room. Looking at how they were propped up on the bed with a good pile of pillows behind their back, well he did always like being comfortable, Richard thought as he entered the room. The only noise came from them as they rested and the machine in the room. Richard took a seat on the side of the bed and looked Bailey over. Part of him was aware that it wasn’t that bad but staring at the cast on his leg, broken femur,  made his eyes narrow down at it. There were some signatures on it from two other visitors already likely Sue and Val but it was too dark to see, but it was a pretty easy guess to make. Eyes trailing up their body, left arm in a brace and sling, dislocated shoulder, also a brace around their neck, due to damage from whiplash. It was a miracle they were only like this.

Richard scoffed at that. 

Bruises dark enough to show over feathers and a shiner on his right eye. Feathers were a mess, Bailey likely was upset about that alone. Softly resting pain medicine seemed to be working to keep him comfortable. He was going to be fine but would need to stay in the hospital for some time. Before getting to be discharged even after that these wounds would take time to heal. That made Rihard seethe with anger the most. What was worse was the reason behind it all. Bailey was in a car accident and rear ended the other driver. Only Bailey got hurt though, but the crash was on him still.  

“Who hurt you?” was all Richard simply asked of them. No answer of course, Richard stood up and looked around the room he needed to find their phone. Eye light up a moment when he finally came across it on the side table, he unlocked it and went through it. Didn’t take long to get to where he needed. A text message conversation between the two, to sort out the exchange of information. Richard glared at the screen this person seemed fishy from the messages. Bailey was too nice he wouldn’t pick up on all of this, back tracking on injuries. Gaslighting here and there, scrolling up and down Richard could pick out some conflicting and troubling responses, but Bailey was easily tricked by them. This person was up to something. 

Richard put Bailey’s phone back down then looked back to them. The sight made his blood boil, how could anyone cause harm to his Bailey. Oh don’t worry though Richard wasn going to find out what was really going and handle it. He led down and placed a kiss to Bailey’s forehead.

They stirred a bit in their sleep from the contact, slowly opening their eyes. Bailey simply smiled at him and tried to speak up. But Richard stopped him. Bailey needed to rest, that was the more important thing right now, but if Bailey spoke he might prevent Richard from doing what he needed to. When it came to Bailey Richard melted, if Bailey asked him to stay he would. He couldn't risk it now. No Richard was going to handle this no one would hurt Bailey, make a fool of him or take advantage of them.

“I know I wasn’t here earlier to see you, don’t worry I’ll be back soon.” Richard smiled darkly gently nuzzling their cheek to give a bit of affection, he knew that wasn’t enough for them but it would have to do for now 

He looked at them with a familiar dark look but different. Not fueled by love not this look that shimmered in Ricard’s eyes was more from a need to protect. It was the last thing he said to Bailey before leaving. No matter how hard it was to leave them behind like that he knew how needy and lonely they could be without him. Richard would have to make it up to them later. But for now he had someone else to meet.

---

“Ha, get this the light was red so I got outta my car to take a whizz. Light on 36 always takes forever to change right. Just my luck, some dude wrecks his car. Hit a pole and bump my car. The idiot though he hurt me though, that rich rooster guy so I decided ya know what let's milk this. He’s got all the cash to burn. After all, why not get someone for myself?” They laughed proud of themself for their scheme. “Told him we can handle it between us doesn't seem to notice my slips up here and there when I tell him about my damage and own injuries. Since we didn’t get cops involved no one even knows that the damage came from the pole he hit.” They just shrug pleased with themselves. “Isn’t that just hilarious? Bout time, some rich dude gets what is coming to them.”  They say looking across the table from them.

It was close to the last call in this small little bar, more a hole in the wall but that seemed fitting for someone like them to be spending their time at. Couple drinks and they were bragging about their little scheme for an easy buck. Hard not to when the golden eagle across from them kept providing drink after drink. It was easy to go for, free alcohol after all. 

“Yes I agree.” Richard said “He deserves everything coming for him.” he smirked under his words. Because of course he meant something different, from his opposite. 

The bartender let them know it was time to go, the man groaned he wanted more to drink. Richard was quick to suggest keeping things going with him. In private. There was no room for rejection, they were enjoying the company of the eagle. Getting alone seemed even better so they agreed happily leaving with Richard as they followed their lead.

“So tell me what injuries did you say you received from the crash?” Richard asked calmly.

They pondered a moment “heck I kind of keep forgetting but that idiot dosen’t seem to notice. Hmm whiplash forsure since I can fake that if I gotta. Said my back got all jacked up as well, my I think I said I broke my arm too least those are the one I kept track of can’t recall what I said at first decided to up the injuries a bit get some sympathy too.” they bragged. 

Just following behind the eagle not aware where they were being led to. Happy to brag about what he was getting away with. Richard though, despite how quite he kept it oh he was passed a breaking point. As he walked down into an alley his guest all unaware. Smiling to himself as he stopped suddenly they bump into him finally taking a moment to bother and see where they were.

“Is that all uh? Mm I feel we can make that worse” Richard voice cold despite the smile on his face. Turning around those amber eyes pricing the night air. “You want to have a convincing story after all don’t you?”

“Wha?” they didn’t get to finish that thought 

Richard grabbed them by the collar of their shirt and slammed them back against the cold brick wall, their head knocking against the wall making them hiss in back. “No then why don’t we make your tale ture and give you every injury you lied about? Doesn't that sound fair to you?” Richard asked, nearly purring in delight  the stare in his eyes had biome crazed. Because all he could see was the image of his Bailey in that dreaded hospital. Truth be told, Richard hated hospitals everytime he was in one; it wasn’t good. Now his beloved was in one again.

And Richard couldn’t be with him. Bailey was in pain. Bailey was alone. All because of this person, yet what made him even more mad was them calling Bailey an idiot. Richard took hold of their wrist and twisted their arm as far as it could go. The image of Bailey’s cast flashed in his mind. “I wonder if anyone will bother to sign yours? Why don’t we find out?” Pupils had shrunken  and a laugh escaped him. “Well we're at it I’ll let you know the injuries he is dealing with as well.” A quick twist to their arm so Richard could grab on to their forearm with his free hand slowly adding the pressure to the bone. The snap that came was a pleasant sound almost as good as the scream that followed.

-----

A shift in the bed as Bailey looked over finding Richard scribbling on to the cast. “Morning love.” Richard greeted. “Are you feeling more rested today?” He followed up with. Putting the pen away once he was done writing what he wanted to. “Hope you don’t mind I peeked at your phone seems the fellow you went into the wreck with realized his car didn’t get by much he was out of it but remembered you hit a traffic light pole instead. Too much alcohol in his system at the time. Isn’t it nice of him to come forward about that?” Richard simply asked them “And you'll be able to leave soon so ill make up the lack of love you haven’t been able to get. You'll need to take it easy still though. Hopefully just attentiveness will be enough for now for you.” Richard smiled at Bailey leaning over to give them a peck on the check. 

“I love you so much, you have no idea to what limits i’d go to prove that to you.” He whispered softly to them.

[clockworkswans]

thoughts on mots:7?? *eyes emoji*

aaaaaaah it feels like SO LONG since we’ve had music, even though we get so much content!  i feel so spoilt lmao.

think i’m gonna skip the tracks from persona, they’re all legends but i’ll end up making this ten pages long otherwise!

under the cut cause it’s looooooong, oops.

interlude shadow - this had some serious challenge coming after its god-tier predecessor, seesaw, ngl, but WOW. yoongi’s solo songs have such a unique style despite being different genres/moods and his lyrics are always what i especially look forward to diving into and shadow was no different! a lot of people say this too but the autotune works SO WELL for him and the way he plays with the rhythms in shadow is amazing. and that last section?? EXPLOSIVE. that’s gonna slay on tour oh my god.

black swan - i wish i’d made notes when it first came out but it took me a while to get used to this sound because it was so interesting and haunting. the topics in this song are so relatable and frightening tbh, it’s something i feel a lot recently, that fear of losing passion for your hobbies and job, etc, and surrendering to the darker emotions of giving up on those dreams (wow, dark, CHILL). after seeing the first performance of it as well!! omg!! some of their absolute BEST choreo yet, easily.

filter - mr. park. JIMIN. I was not prepared for this song and it’s so sexy and smooth and i want to scream thinking about choreo for this on tour, wtf man. this song was my jam right away!! the latin vibes!! rumba/salsa in a club at 2am vibes!! also idk if this is misreading the lyrics but i love the lowkey dark/seductive undertone of making anyone fall in love with you/celeb perception, etc. (probably reading way too much into it lol but still, loved the lyrics). But yes, WOW. Can he let me choreo pls?? i want him to have a CHAIR and a suit and tie and to absolutely destrOY us.

my time - before i go into this, i wanna say how much i loved the vocal line doing completely different stuff and defying all my expectations. the mood of this song is so unique and the slow rhythm with his just…absolutely gorgeous emotive voice makes it so refreshing. Also!! something i found really cool is jungkook doing stuff that’s more complex in emotion and a bit sadder/darker? he’s always had the happy golden perfect boyTM vibe and that’s cute af but also this song lets him be a bit confusing and mature and lost for once. This song hit me quite personally too because the lyrics about time and distance hit close to home as i have friends and loved ones moving out of my life and i just wanna feel not so stuck. I can’t WAIT to see what kind of staging he’ll do for this?? it could be anything lol, i really can’t guess.

louder than bombs - legit EVERYTHING i wanted from a troye/bts collaboration project oh my god. The music and build-up for this song is so bittersweet and haunting, the VOCALS oh my god?? truly stole my breath, wow. the rap line verses had some seriously hard-hitting lyrics too, the lower ranges of namjoon and yoongi made my heart STOP. (something i’ve always loved with bts is the way they play with flow through members taking different parts, which sounds so obvious lol, it’s what you do with a group, but i always love the way bts uses their members’ tones/styles to create a great mix in a song). I feel like this song truly sets up the recurring theme of acknowledging and embracing the good and bad, the wholeness of it is really vulnerable and - pun intended - explosive! it reminds me of the ‘sing louder to drown out the pain’ kind of mindset. sometimes you just gotta sing louder and sadder and ache.

ON - i actually don’t have much to say on this one because it’s just SO BTS and perfect for a title track and will absolutely GO OFF live. also the choreo is hard as hell lmao GOOD LUCK PEOPLE TRYING TO LEARN IT. also i’m gonna say it alongside everyone else but…JUNGKOOK’S HOLY BRIDGE!!!!!!!!!!!

Ugh! - *aroused and scared.* this beat!!!! slaps!!! rapline songs can never fail tbh, also….i think i already love this more than outro: tear and we haven’t even had a performance lol. I don’t have any coherent thoughts to add other than HOLYYY SHIIIIT. This will be so fierce live??? i’m gonna get whiplash headbanging probably. also…can they PLEASE do choreo for that last bit??? please. please.

zero o’clock - lol some songs just make you ugly sob and then you read the lyrics and ABSOLUTELY SOB. this little asshole right here came for my entire heart. it’s pretty spot on for how i feel right now: just get through the day and wait for the next and try and be a bit happier. the bittersweet, hopeful tone is so lovely and really touching. it’s heartbreaking ngl, but in a healing, therapeutic way. it’s so soft and mellow without being too air-y which is pretty hard to get right tbh.

inner child - my favourite vocal line solo!!! i’m always so in love with taehyung’s solo songs tbh, his voice and songs are always my cup of tea, thank you for being a true hopeless romantic sir. this song is SO end-of-indie-movie and i’m completely hooked on it already, i walk to work and keep looping it and it makes me smile and tear up just thinking about hearing it live already. I love how it’s a love letter to his younger self, comforting, sad and so full of heart and acceptance. We all find it hard to look back but to have a song that says it’s okay to be proud of every version of yourself and your growth is AMAZING. i haven’t stopped thinking of the ‘we gonna change’ and i’ll give you my world’ lines. truly magical.

friends - shut up this is the SWEETEST SONG EVER. so my best friend is finally moving away from the hometown we’ve shared for 11 years and i am very vulnerable about it right now, so this coming out when it did?? a bit of an attack lol. but it really made me smile and be SO GRATEFUL to her, and to everyone else in my life and the bonds i have around me. jimin and tae’s friendship is the sweetest thing and to have them release a platonic love song??? to sing on tour together?? after growing up and becoming legends together? wow. talk about bff goals. the adorable details in the lyrics make it so personal and genuine, and the crowd-chanting bits in the chorus are gonna sound awesome live. also not to get sappy and cheesy but this also makes me think of all the friends people have made in this fandom and community and how we’re all enjoying this awesome thing together? love that, man.

moon - THAT’S THE LOML, KIM SEOKJIN, SLAYING AGAIN. awake and epiphany were both so epic and emotional in the traditional ballad genre, so hearing this was just?? SO COOL. it’s so happy and sweet and shows off his high range effortlessly. this has such an addictive melody, i kept humming it at work today and driving myself nuts lmao. it makes me think of summer days and hanging out with friends or on your own in the sun, reading. i also love how he expanded on ‘beauty’ as it’s always a word thrown at him lol, but he made it so innocent and lovely, like idk if he’s fed up of everyone yelling handsome at him and embarrassing him lmao but it was so wholesome of him to then turn around and make a song about appreciating subtle beauty and the bonds between army and bts (god i’m LAME, blame this album).

respect - this song’s such a VIBE. love the founders of bts doing a song together, god, just bros being bros and jamming together?? WE LOVE TO SEE IT. I didn’t realise how much i’d love this duo together but it’s so natural and you can see how much they love writing and working together. the lyrics are so fun and snarky and the throwback old-school bts vibe is PERFECT. it’s that clever thing they do of re-visiting older works and combining it with your present self to make something familiar yet different. so so cool.

we are bulletproof: eternal - omg so the first line of this i started laughing so hard because i was SO SURE it would be a Concert Jam™. then i sobered up pretty quickly and cue the tears and emotions lmao. This song gives me heartbeat/sea/mikrokosmos energy, it falls in that ‘epic emotional singalong’ genre they do beautifully. you bet your ass i’m gonna be bawling at this on the tour. i lost it crying in that last bridge when they say ‘why are you still walking with us’, it just hit me that wow, i’ve been a part of this journey and tbh, it’s gonna stay with me for life. the emotions packed into this song are overwhelming af whilst still being a celebration of the 7 years bts have been together, and the individual achievements too, of them and also armys? idk it feels very collective ‘us’ vibe and it’s beautiful. 

outro: ego - READY, SET AND BEGIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MAP OF THE SOUL MAP OF THE AAAAAAAAAAAL THAT’S MY EGOOOOOOOOOO. Oh my god, this song just slays everything tbh. When it came out i could not stop repeating it for the entire week and i’m still so in love with it. By far one of my favourite solos of the album! it’s so colourful, clever and A DANCE BOP. It’s everything about why i bias jhope and his style is freaking awesome. 

okay wow, all done!!!!!

#bts #mots 7 #album review

[srcasticking]

The Dream Chapter: MAGIC Song Analysis

New Rules:

If listening to New Rules didn’t give you whiplash, watching it sure will.

Like oh my goodness what happened to our babies?? But anyway it is, mildly intense? Especially if you aren’t expecting it. This shit is the club funk scene and literally does not mean what you think it does. Like reading the lyrics REALLY threw me off guard more than anything else.

It is just so funky?? And groovy?? And like makes me want to break out of prison?? What I’m trying to say is this song vibe checks you and doesn’t say sorry but you must respond ‘thank you’ because that is just this kind of song.

Run Away:

I’m going to pretend this isn’t my favorite track for a second.

This absolute BOP of a song is the title track we were blessed with? Holy guacamole! From a musician’s perspective, this is honestly the best song they could have released. It is catchy, it is melodically and harmonically interesting and different but familiar, and it is overall something you do not want to stop listening to.

Every listen brings a new experience, something you missed, maybe some lyrics, maybe a harmony, you wont know until you listen again. If I find a flaw in this masterpiece I’ll let y’all know, otherwise 5/5 stars, model pop song (with a bit of an alt twist!!)

Roller Coaster:

Respect Roller Coaster enthusiasts. Like, do you know that kind of taste you must have to immediately appreciate this song for what it is? (its great btw)

It’s not really my type of song, but I feel like this concept and album are meant to appeal to fans who are both around my age and older than I am. I’m not done with high school and I don’t even like thinking about the wild ride that is crushes and falling in love in high school.

So older MOA, please laugh at these silly things you probably went through and MOA my age and younger, we just gotta face the facts man: puberty n shit is the worst and TXT really came through with this album.

Poppin’ Star:

Woah man this is the kind of song where you just hear it once and you’re smiling and tapping along. Honestly what a chill bop. Made me a lil hungry?

Seriously, if you just want something calming to listen to that wont depress you, this song would be so good. The music is like popping? Idk if that makes sense, but like small doo wop vibes anyone?

Can’t We Just Leave The Monster Alive:

YO WAIT IS THIS KIND OF A D&D REF? CAUSE I LOVE D&D. I’M CLAIMING THIS SONG FOR THE NERDS.

Moving on, another chill bop. They really hit home for me on this one, as I can definitely pull the concept into both a fantasy world and real scenario. But tbh musically, it takes an unexpected turn at the chorus, like it builds, but then changes direction. This isn’t necessarily bad, in fact I think it fits the theme of the song quite well. I have nothing else to say other than I’m showing my DM this.

Magic Island:

Lowkey cryin a lil bit. If we don’t get an acoustic cover of this song soon, I’m gonna do it myself. Honestly the type of song you bring to like a campfire. Real sweet. Real simple.

I don’t know about y’all but I was swaying. I feel so relaxed and comforted by this place they have created for us. I hope I see MOA there soon.

20cm:

I’ll be honest, I’m a lil confused about this one. I mean like I get the story of the song and it’s really cute ngl.

But I’m more referring to the musical part of it. It’s a little hard to follow as a first time listener. Now, I was just reading the lyrics for most of it, but the track reminds me more of a freestyle (versed or rap) serenade rather than a song.

I think it’s a nice composition and the story is absolutely adorable, just not very traditional? Or I guess overly traditional? So I mean good on them for making a song that genuinely stands out so intriguingly like that.

Angel or Devil:

This is just Cat & Dog with furry culture being replaced by high school bad-boy culture. I am in no way complaining, Cat & Dog was my fav track of STAR. This goes pretty hard and really drives in the concept for this album.

This song is like me lying to my parents and then just like 😈 in my head. Idk if that’s a good descriptor or not but I certainly ain’t feeling these supposed angel vibes. None of the boys even look like angels anymore 😔 they look like they’re coming to take my money in a very gentle manner and viciously giggle as I rock out to every song on the album.

TL;DR

This was just my opinion. I found it hard to make comments on every track as honestly, some of them were just pretty average sounding and others were unique. My point is that music should make you feel something. Everything can be interpreted differently, the only thing I want you to take out of this is your interpretation. Enjoy the music bros, they put their hearts and souls into making it, so let’s put the same into listening and understanding.

[himikoyumeno-chan]

1, 4, 20 :D

Thank you for the ask, Serahne!!! ღゝ◡╹)ノ♡

@serahne-is-here

And sorry it took so long! It has been, like, months,lol. I… have no excuses ^^; I’ve written and rewritten, and re-rewritten this trying to make this more concise and to the point. I gave up, and just now came back to it.

From here: 20 thought-provoking V3 questions

Oddly enough for a V3-centered blog, I haven’t talked too much about my opinions on it here pretty much since I played it, lol. Well, for those that don’t follow my main blog, this is just a warning that I don’t have great things to say about most of it, lol.

1: How do you feel about the game’s writing in general? How does it compare to the other games?

I think I may be able to understand people liking this game, but to me, V3's writing flops. Danganronpa used to have a more defined set of rules, where for the most part, common sense can be trusted. V3 lacks the realism I was expecting, and I’m not even talking about things like there being a talking robot as a student with really highly advanced AI, or how Despair came to ruin the world. Danganronpa treated Despair as if it was a rule of the world, an aspect of it that can cause someone to do insane things, and more importantly, almost anyone could fall for it, even us if we were in that world. Even LUCK in this world seems to have a defined logic (both Naegi and Komaeda’s version of it). I can still accept things like that because they are a part of the DR Universes “rules.” It’s just that V3 seems to unintentionally break a lot of rules of common sense without acknowledging it as being something to expect out of that world.

V3′s main gimmick, the thing that people love about it, is that it aims to be as unpredictable as it can get. That would be fine… if it was done properly and researched well. Murder mysteries that are good have to have reason and logic. While there were a few times in previous games where I really questioned the writing of it (Like Trial 4 in DR2 where Nekomaru is able to hang off of a doorknob??? Or even how was Hiyoko killed? We never discussed a murder weapon), at the very least, the majority of the game made sense, and, if you really pay a lot of attention, you can figure out exactly how it happened because of it. In V3, the trials are just downright ridiculous. In almost every trial in V3, there’s questionable decisions made. How is it that all of these murderers were so lucky for things to work that well? You can argue they still made a mistake, and that is how we catch them, but at the same time, they also make other mistakes that somehow worked. Ch1, we were made to believe Kaede was able to hit Rantarou’s head precisely. Ch 2 had a slew of problems, but the worst was that Kirumi’s CG shows her sliding down the ropeway on a tube tied at two ends, and uf that's what happened, she absolutely would have flopped down into the pool. Ch 3, Kiyo sticks a sword in Kaede’s chest and spins the statue letting it conveniently hit the lock. Ch 4… well actually it made a lot of sense, mostly because the writers could manipulate the world as they pleased. Ch 5, a dying Ouma writes a full three hour-ish script with every possible scenario within, at most, half a night. It was later seen that Kaede did not succeed in killing Rantarou the way she had, but she’s the only one where things didn’t miraculously work out for her (erm… well not that it would have, since she died trying anyways).

It’s not even just trials. The student council arc implies Angie brainwashes the members. You can see a hint of proof from her FTEs. It isn'treally acknowledged, in fact all that had yo do with Angie's plans dies with her, except for Kiibo who for one night tries to get Saihara not to roam at night. There is the fact that Kaito trusts Maki, even though she’s a trained killer, and not Ryoma, a person guilty of one murder and just as, if not more, in need of confidence, is also really weird. Ouma is left practically alone for most of the game, only really gaining importance in Ch 4. Kaito later says he can’t just leave a guy like that alone, when he did. In fact, everyone did, despite being concerned about him and Gonta. At the very least you would expect Shuichi to give more than a passing thought to Ouma, show more concern? Shuichi’s just not one to get involved with anyone, though, it would seem. And one other thing that bothers me, everything to do with the alliance between Miu and Kokichi. When did it start? How? How was Miu even able to create what Ouma wanted her to when everything they showed her invent up until her death (within the main story, mind you) was really simple. She creates a drone and gives Kiibo a few really simple functions… and later on had all the weapons needed to take down Monokuma, and still  gets scared out of her mind. Ouma in general just gives way to too many plot conveniences, so much so it is hard to say whether you should give him credit or not. He takes a key card and we never know where it leads to, he and Gonta planning the murder of Miu all depends on his testimony, him knowing Miu would be capable of inventions to this extreme and allying with her, while she somehow trusts him enough to not blab, and most importantly, somehow figuring out that there had to be an audience and hinting at it regularly.

Over all, the plot was made too convenient. It is way too convenient for things to happen as they did, and they really just build it up, shoving in faces just how much better this game was in every aspect. It’s really flashy, but that doesn’t make this game good, let alone better.

And one last problem I want to address, the story takes way too many ups and downs. One scene, everyone wants to die/give up and starts to cry about their situation. It whiplashes back to hope and never giving up by someone like Kaito or Kiibo. Then it is rejected once again, because a new piece of evidence has been shown, then it whiplashes back again because we can’t give up hope/we just gotta believe! It really just gets so tiring watching these characters go on and on about it. It wastes so much time, and honestly I’m not sure how to feel about the characters at times because they would annoy me so much with their emotions. I feel like in DR1 and DR2, even DRAE, the descent to despair was much slower or less of a common occurrence. I was actually able to feel dread and devastation for these characters because the game let me have the time to feel the weight. In this game, as much as I like the cast in general, it was just getting harder to sympathize with them much. They'll shoot all the way back up again, anyways, right?

I’m really thrashing the plot of this game a lot, but I gotta say they didn’t ruin everything.  Now to the thing V3 does best: characters. Not their backstories, mind you (only half, or probably less than half, of the FTEs are really worth doing for backstories). Each of these characters were given such unique personalities. Sure, it may overlap with personalities we’ve seen before, but there is a great mix of personalities. These characters are all really unique, and best of all is how even in the main story, we get quite a bit out of them since ever character was given a fairly important role. Some of them end up being just murderers as their main role *cough*Kiyo*cough* and that’s their end role, but unlike in other Danganronpa games, the first chapter’s victims are given importance acknowledged later on in the game. I don’t agree with all of them, but I will give SC recognition for commendable effort in making every character hold some importance in this story. The cast is truly amazing, but I sincerely wish they weren’t wasted on this over-the-top game with an overall poorly planned out story. Even characters I didn’t really like, I end up liking more as soon as they are set in a different storyline (like the UTDP Mode, as an example).

4: Did free time events change your opinion about a certain character? What did you learn about the character through these events?

I mean, quite honestly my strongest answer here is Kiyo, lol. Kiyo. I was having my doubts about his character. I’d already been spoiled he was into incest and killed two girls for a ritual, so I was prepared to meet a total creep and come to not like him. So very wrong. Kiyo’s FTEs were so interesting. I had interest in what things he taught Shuichi about folklore and customs, and it helped that Shuichi was also a willing and interested student! His personality was refreshing, and they even added a bit of humor to it regarding his mask XD I am really sad that they decided they had to make him a creepy mass murder in an incestuous relationship, and most importantly, revealed all of that last minute. He was already an interesting character, I don’t think killing him off right after that unnecessarily ridiculous reveal was good. It would have been pretty fascinating if it turned out he didn’t kill Angie, though! Then maybe this incesturous serial murder would actually be more than just a surprising factor? If he survived, that would have been very interesting to see how he is dealt eith once the others are aware of hiw dangerous he is. Still, I’m just not a fan of what they did to Kiyo, I feel like they could have done him much better.

20: Does Shuichi make a good protagonist? Why or why not?

Suichi is an okayish protagonist. Sometimes, I think I mostly just unfairly compare him to Hinata. He’s not really great to me because he’s hard for me, personally, to relate to. I think that his backstory that was revealed through Kaede, and later Kaito, could have been made stronger and fit the theme just slightly more if the man he convicted was innocent, thinking he exacted vengeance, and after execution, the true murderer was revealed. (Maybe that would give away too much actually XD I just got the idea from watching people play Hidden Agenda, lol). I just don’t personally think that the canon backstory for Saihara is that strong? Then again, I have the same ideals as Kaito and Nanami, where murder is murder, in the end (only thing that bars it is if it is in self defense).

Saihara was designed to be a more grey character, much more sympathetic to those who commit murder for a noble/good reason. In general, it was hard for me to look at what Shuichi says or does, and go “yup, I would make the same choice,” but at the same time, it does make him different from the typical protagonist. I felt a lot more in tune with Kaede and admired her far more as a protagonist than I had Shuichi, and she wasn’t even given a backstory. At the same time, I find it ironic that the one with a pretty defined history became protagonist, since almost every other protag has little to none (Mostly because of a lack of talent?). I have no hatred towards Shuichi, and I do love some of the relationships he has with his classmates, but because of the story, it just feels he isn’t as close to other members of the class. A lot of it focuses on Kaito and Maki. At the same time, I didn’t dislike it that much because I love those interactions, but he barely interacts or seem to even care about other characters. Ouma should have been kept on better watch, for example.

He’s been described as even better than Hajime, and I personally don’t see it. Hajime had a very strong character arc that was at least consistent the whole game, while Saihara may arguably have a very great shift in character, a good deal of it is super concentrated at the end, and he is even quicker to give up than any protagonist (except maybe Komaru? However even she refuses to die). His true shining moment is in the last chapter (honestly it was a good moment and I can admit the resolution is better than Hajime who needed to lean on his memory of Chiaki to gain the courage tonend his killing game).

Shuichi being the one willing to die to end the killing game is amazing, but then he lives, and I just gotta stare at the screen asking Spike Chunsoft why they had to ruin that as well?

The game left me exhausted, and I just feel like Shuichi as protagonist, who lets things happen quite a lot, or relies on others to take action instead, was not really helping me like this game.

----

As an aside, I honestly don’t mean to be so harsh on this game, but V3 was just such a let down… like having the game tell you everything that happened in the game was fake was enough, and trying to continue giving what had happened to the 16 kids should have been good, but then the game takes the meaning away and kills off two characters instead of all five. I understand the message V3 tries to convey, and I would agree, except it executes the message really poorly. Them making DR1-DR3 non-canon to V3? Fine. Them basically saying that everything you worked for was a big waste of time because all of it was fiction? Especially when the game makes it sound like everything in this game was better than its previous iterations?

I was left feeling hollow, like I had wasted all those hours playing as Shuichi the protag-that-I-didn't-like-much, with trials that made logical leaps to get it to work, and characters I felt I should have cared more for, but didn't.

I am very much done with Kodaka, Spike Chunsoft, and whoever else wrote V3 and DR3.

I'll just contnue to focus my energy and love on Hajime instead of watching out for any more Danganronpa that isn't the fighting game/rpg XD

#serahne #mehere #ask meme #this was so long ago that i bet you weren't expecting an answer

[thecourtreportersportedjorts]

Top 10 Worst Hit Songs of 2017

In December of each year, Billboard publishes its list of the 100 biggest hit songs of the last 12 months. In response, I take it upon myself to decide which of these songs were the real hits, and which were the biggest misses. As always, I’m starting with the worst. Let’s get started:

10. “Do Re Mi” by Blackbear

If you’ve read my earlier lists, I’ve made it no secret that I’m a big fan of The Weeknd. I’ve been enjoying his relentlessly bleak brand of R&B for years, so I was more than ready to celebrate his ascent on the pop charts with multiple spots on my Best Hit Songs lists in 2015 and 2016. Apart from choosing “Can’t Feel My Face” over Taylor Swift’s incomparable “Style” as my favorite hit song of 2015, I stand by all of it. Unfortunately, any great, successful artist is bound to generate a wave of cut-rate imitators, and thus we now have to deal with blackbear.

When blackbear first appeared on the Billboard Hot 100 last spring, I probably had the same reaction as anyone previously uninitiated: who the hell is this? Prior to this year, the rising R&B singer-songwriter had written and produced for such personality vacuums as G-Eazy and Machine Gun Kelly. He also co-wrote “Boyfriend,” one of Justin Bieber’s biggest and most embarrassing singles to date. If any of that suggests that his breakout single “Do Re Mi” would be a noxious whinge replete with countless fuckboy-isms, you’d only wish it were that good.

Blackbear unfortunately goes the extra mile, topping off his insufferable whining at his “crazy” ex with a failed attempt at wit. “Do, re, mi, fa, so fuckin’ done with you,” the chorus taunts, which becomes awkward when you notice that he’s singing up a minor scale, and the minor solfege progression is do, re, ME, FE, etc. All this is accompanied by a perfunctory Gucci Mane feature and a chord progression that’s eerily similar to The Weeknd’s “Wicked Games,” which is where my issues with the song clicked: when Abel made songs like this, he at least had the good sense not to cast himself in the moral high ground or center his hooks around laughable wordplay. And I thought Bryson Tiller was bad.

9. “Believer” by Imagine Dragons

I’ve been writing these lists for five years now, and while I wouldn’t say that my music taste has changed dramatically since then, it’s certainly expanded enough that I could rewrite my Best Hit Songs lists from 4 or 5 years ago and include songs that weren’t even on my radar before. With that said, doing this for such a long time leads you to wonder if you were ever too quick to heap praise onto something that ultimately didn’t deserve it. And while I wouldn’t say I suddenly dislike any of the songs Imagine Dragons landed on my previous lists, I can no longer call myself a fan when they keep churning out crap like this.

I first mentioned Imagine Dragons in 2012, when I saw them as an innovative new force in rock music, alongside the likes of Gotye and fun. While Gotye still hasn’t followed up his album Making Mirrors, and fun. guitarist Jack Antonoff has made even better music with his Bleachers project, Imagine Dragons doubled down on their stadium-ready sound to diminishing returns. After the sophomore slump Smoke + Mirrors failed to produce major hits, they somehow managed to notch one of their biggest successes yet with “Believer,” a dreary, un-catchy slog of a song.

There are a lot of things that I find deeply annoying about “Believer,” like singer Dan Reynolds audibly straining his vocals on a flat hook, the utterly dour and depressing music backing what should be an uplifting (if not esoteric) set of lyrics, or the “first things first” lyrical structure that gives me Iggy Azalea flashbacks. But my biggest problem with Imagine Dragons in 2017 is that their songs seem entirely calculated to fit into trailers and commercials, and I’ve heard “Believer” in these spaces far more than anything more organic. I don’t believe that rock is inherently more valuable or authentic than pop, rap, etc., but it has no chance of being so if this is the way “rock” is represented in the mainstream.

8. “Tunnel Vision” by Kodak Black

If there is a theme to my lists this year, it’s that content doesn’t exist without context. 2017 has seen countless powerful men rightfully fall from grace as allegations of sexual assault and harassment continue to come out of the woodwork. As somebody who loves to share music, this puts me in an interesting position. Was I right to top my Best Hit Songs of 2014 with “Do What U Want,” Lady Gaga’s infamous collaboration with R. Kelly? Can I, in good conscience, still call Brand New’s Science Fiction one of the best albums on the year? Despite my own investment in this music, I have to second guess whether or not I can actively recommend any of it when such information is readily available. These are tough questions, but at least I don’t have to ask them here since I never liked Kodak Black in the first place.

Horrific legal charges aside, I never understood the appeal of Kodak’s music. Sure, he may choose solid beats once in a while, and he may speak on the gritty realities of the street life, but so many other rappers have done so by using a more intelligible and far less grating voice. So many other rappers have done so without resorting to tired, juvenile punchlines like “That money make me cum, it make me fornicate / I’m the shit, I need some toilet paper.” And so many other rappers at least know that “winning” doesn’t rhyme with “penitentiary.”

Even if you somehow liked this song and wanted badly to separate the art from the artist, you can’t really do that in this case. The edited line “I get any girl I want, any girl I want” originally ended with “I don’t gotta rape,” which is eventually followed by “I need a bitch who gon’ cooperate.” YIKES. The only reason this song is so low on this list is because the beat, provided by the ubiquitous Metro Boomin, deserves so much better. Metro, please stick to working with Future and Migos and stay away from this little shit.

7. “Bad Things” by Machine Gun Kelly feat. Camila Cabello

Overall, I considered 2016 to be a pretty weak year for the pop charts. It’s not that everything was terrible that year, but I remember struggling to put together both of these lists because I was so indifferent to most of the hits. Still, one of the most damning trends to dominate the year was the rise of mediocre white rappers. Both Gnash and Post Malone ranked high on my Worst list, and I probably should have included G-Eazy’s tedious “Me, Myself & I” as a dishonorable mention. This trend hasn’t entirely disappeared, as Malone had a surprisingly successful 2017, but it really should have ended with Machine Gun Kelly.

The first of the many bad things about “Bad Things” is the generous sample of Fastball’s 1999 hit song “Out of My Head.” I already have reservations about songs with such recognizable samples - even in songs like “Anaconda” that I otherwise like - and this is no exception, since the sample doesn’t really add any personality or texture to the song. The chorus just gets witlessly rewritten and clumsily regurgitated by Camila Cabello, who only sounds slightly less like a goat than she did on “Work From Home.” Of course, the song also borrows Fastball’s chord progression, which sounds like ass when paired with this Marshmello-lite production.

Even worse is MGK, who’s trying his damnedest to sound like the personification of white alpha male posturing. The only time his delivery suits the track is when he attempts to add a melody in the pre-chorus, and even then it results in serious tonal whiplash. There’s also a baffling R.E.M. reference in his second verse, as if desecrating one 90’s alternative rock band wasn’t enough. I would call the title of the song truth in advertising, but it’s more of an understatement.

6. “Swang” by Rae Sremmurd

I first discussed Rae Sremmurd in 2015 when “No Type” made the #9 spot on my Worst list. And while I still stand by the song’s inclusion, I don’t have much against these guys. Sure, SremmLife had more misses than hits - including the milk-aged, deeply regrettable “Up Like Trump” - but I can take solace in that they earned their biggest success with “Black Beatles,” their best song. On top of that, collaborations with French Montana and Jhene Aiko could position Swae Lee as a breakout solo star with a charismatic (if amateurish) vocal presence.

It’s for that exact reason why “Swang” is such a failure. Critics have routinely praised the duo for their infectious energy, but for the duration of the song, very little of that energy really translates. The production from P-Nazty trades the thunderous, off-kilter synths that made “Black Beatles” so invigorating for something much more warbly, cheap and lifeless. Swae Lee spends the majority of his time droning on words like Alaska Thunderfuck on quaaludes, and by the time Slim Jxmmi attempts to liven things up, it’s too little too late.

“Swang” isn’t an entirely sleepy affair, however. The track has one truly memorable trick up its sleeve - and that’s when Swae leaps into his falsetto during the hook. And it sounds hideous. It’s not quite as ear-splittingly awful as the drop on “Starving” last year, but it doesn’t even have that song’s sense of momentum. It almost sounds like the shower scene from Psycho, only without any real buildup leading to the aural carnage.

5. “Shape of You” by Ed Sheeran

Overplay doesn’t tend to factor into my selections for these lists, a fact which is evident when you see that my Best list for 2015 included songs like “Hello” and “Shut Up and Dance.” This is because I don’t listen to the radio or randomized pop playlists very frequently. I’ll seek out the most popular songs once, and whether or not I keep hearing the song usually depends on how much I like it. That said, sometimes a song becomes inescapable, and the more you hear it, you notice more and more problems with it.

This takes us conveniently to “Shape of You,” Ed Sheeran’s first ever #1 single on the Hot 100. Admittedly, I thought this song was decent at first, and so I’d listen to it once in a while when I needed to scratch the itch. But when I decided I was done with it after a few weeks, I started hearing it pretty much everywhere, and then it clicked: this song is incredibly stupid.

First of all, Ed Sheeran is somewhere among the final few names on my hypothetical list of people I want to hear making songs about sex. “Shape of You” is certainly more competent than I’d imagine a sex song would be coming from Danny DeVito, but it’s also weirdly lacking in personality, which makes sense since he didn’t write this with himself in mind. Like “Cheap Thrills” last year, “Shape of You” was originally intended for Rihanna, who’s probably getting annoyed by all these white songwriters trying to pitch her such watered-down, vaguely Caribbean sounding pop tunes.

Of course, I could just be wishing that the song lacked personality, because Ed can’t resist using his same Sheeranisms that have soiled so many of his stabs at pop. In addition to an out-of-place Van Morrison shoutout (which he couldn’t even confine to one song), the song has a host of clumsy, overwritten lyrics. “Your love was handmade for somebody like me.” “We talk for hours and hours about the sweet and the sour.” That whole chorus. “Shape of You” scans as an OkCupid message from a dude with no social skills. Now imagine getting that same message about 500 more times, and you’ve got one of the most overplayed trainwrecks in recent memory.

4. “Don’t Wanna Know” by Maroon 5 feat. Kendrick Lamar / “Cold” by Maroon 5 feat. Future

For this entry on the list, I’ll be doing something different - I’m giving it to two songs. Sure, this is occasionally done as an excuse to avoid making a concrete decision, but there’s a genuine reason this time. The songs in question are “Don’t Wanna Know” and “Cold,” both by rock band-turned-space-wasters Maroon 5. These two songs are essentially minor variations on each other, and all the more evidence that Adam Levine and his producers band need to go away.

“Don’t Wanna Know” was released late last year, while the charts were still saturated with so much half-assed tropical house. The lyrics feature Levine at his most petulant and unlikeable, harping on an ex so much that the characteristically repetitive chorus just sounds more like a failed defense mechanism. As awful as all this is, it’s nothing compared to the fact that these guys managed to rope in Kendrick Lamar - arguably one of the most important and talented artists of this decade - and make him suck. It’s a brief 8-bar verse, and yet half of the bars feature words rhyming with each other. There’s one thing I do wanna know after hearing this dreck - what Kendrick’s paycheck looked like.

Oh-so-cleverly released on Valentine’s Day this year, “Cold” effectively treads the same water as the other song. It’s more turgid tropical bullshit, only at a slighter quicker tempo. The lyrics are even more bitter, bordering on misogynistic at points. Another A-list rapper features, but this time, it’s Future, and while his verse is pretty average by his own standards, he sounds incredibly uncomfortable over this beat. Nothing about this song disappoints me as much Kendrick’s verse on “Don’t Wanna Know,” but it might be slightly worse by virtue of being more of the same.

Both of these songs were released well before their cluelessly titled album Red Pill Blues was even announced, and they were formally left off the standard track listing. Still, because of their chart success, they were included on the deluxe edition of the album, if only to represent the death of tropical house as a viable trend and an enjoyable sound in pop. And, of course, the death of Maroon 5 as anything resembling an actual band.

3. “JuJu on that Beat (TZ Anthem)” by Zay Hilfigerrr and Zayion McCall

Since Billboard first put a greater emphasis on streaming in their calculations, it’s been interesting to see how songs perform on the charts. As a whole, album tracks chart longer than ever, and the last two years have seen such unexpected chart-toppers like “Panda” and “Bodak Yellow” thanks to the popularity of hip-hop on streaming services. Unfortunately, this also means that songs are also more likely to become genuine hits off of viral novelty than quality. It happened with the execrable “Watch Me” in 2015, and it nearly two years later, it happened with “Juju on That Beat.”

In retrospect, I may have been a little too hard on “Watch Me” when I named it the second worst song of 2015. I mean, we were still in the middle of Meghan Trainor’s window of relevance when it came out, and 2017 has seen rappers draw even more attention to their distinctive ad-libs. “Watch Me,” while still pretty grating, seems quaint and harmless now. The same can’t be said about “Juju on That Beat,” which is just as annoying and insulting to the intelligence as it was a year ago.

Let’s start with “That Beat,” which is lifted wholesale from Crime Mob’s crunk staple “Knuck If You Buck.” Forget what I said about the “Out of My Head” sample in “Bad Things,” this is particularly lazy. While rappers have used pre-existing beats in the past, this is clearly a dance song. Aren’t dance songs were supposed to have a unique musical identity to make up for inconsequential lyrics? The only audible difference is that the beat is transposed to a higher key, which makes sense if it’s meant to suit aspiring one hit wonders Zay Hilfigerrr and Zayion McCall’s more youthful voices.

It’s too bad that their voices still don’t sound remotely good. Hilfigerrr (not that the name matters) is particularly irritating, his out-of-breath yelps cracking like his balls just dropped mid-recording. And while I may have critiqued “Watch Me” for lacking actual rap verses, maybe it was for the better, as the other guy attempts to freestyle, only rhyming the first two of his eight bars and dropping such gems as “if I compared me and you, there wouldn’t be no comparings.” The only good thing about this song is that it’s mercifully short, perhaps the shortest hit song of 2017 that wasn’t by XXXTentacion or Lil Pump. By comparison, “Watch Me” is a masterpiece in minimalism.

2. “Say You Won’t Let Go” by James Arthur

I’m pretty sure my decision to name “Treat You Better” the worst song of 2016 might have been strange for some. Sure, I’ve seen the song on several similar lists (including one that has it in the same position), but the general public actually seems to enjoy the song a lot. Maybe that has to do with the fact that the music is so blandly inoffensive that most people wouldn’t bat an eye at the content. But apart from the patronizing lyrics and the laughable singing, that was part of my problem. White-guy-with-acoustic-guitar songs tend to piss me off because they’re churned out by dudes with aspirations to Real Musicianship whose compositional skills are limited, so the lyrics tend to be transparent in their douchebaggery. And while very, very few things are as bad as “Treat You Better,” James Arthur’s “Say You Won’t Let Go” fits this mold to a T.

As with seemingly all music this year, some context is necessary. James Arthur won The X Factor in 2012 (which should tell you everything about this guy’s musical persona) before signing to Simon Cowell’s Syco Records imprint and eventually releasing songs in which he used homophobic and Islamophobic insults and compared himself to a terrorist. He left Syco in 2014, but two years later, he released Back from the Edge, an album whose title practically begs for sympathy for his lack of a filter. “Say You Won’t Let Go” was the immensely successful lead single, which somehow lasted on the Hot 100 for a full year.

Perhaps knowing all this before hearing the song colored my distaste for ��Say You Won’t Let Go” from the jump, but I think this song is fucking terrible. Over acoustic strumming and an infinitely recycled chord progression, Arthur recounts when he first met the love of his life, including a deeply unflattering line where she vomits (again with that filter!). The rest of the song delves into the same territory that Ed Sheeran already exhausted with “Thinking Out Loud,” and the whole thing just scans as incredibly disingenuous coming from him. Hell, he even describes the song as “really calculated” in his annotations on Genius.

Truthfully, the content and the context are the least unpleasant things about this song. James Arthur nearly mumbles through the verses before bringing his voice up another octave for the chorus, which sounds like a drunken bro singing “You’re Beautiful” at Karaoke. A lot of people have praised his vocals, but I might just hate them even more than “Swang” because at least Swae Lee sounded like he was enjoying himself. James just sounds ready to throw up, which is probably karma at work after that lyric in the first verse (not to mention pretty much anything this guy has said that put him at the edge in the first place).

Before I unveil my pick for the worst hit song of 2017, here are eight dishonorable mentions:

“Chained to the Rhythm” by Katy Perry feat. Skip Marley: 2017 was not a good year for Katy Perry, whose self-awareness seems to be diminishing with each album cycle. “Chained to the Rhythm” was the ever-so-obviously co-written by Sia lead single, which boasts an extremely out-of-place guest verse from Bob Marley’s grandson and perhaps one of the clumsiest hooks of the entire year.

“Thunder” by Imagine Dragons: At least “Chained to the Rhythm” had an actual hook, not just chipmunked repetitions of a single word. Because it’s an Imagine Dragons song in 2017, it’s also padded out a with a trap beat, more vague nothings in the verses and grossly manipulated vocals in place of any actual instrumental tones.

“Mercy” by Shawn Mendes: It’s nowhere near as condescending and misogynistic as “Treat You Better,” but it’s every bit as whiny and overwrought, even sharing the same warbled vocals incessant drum beat. Really, it’s a damn shame he didn’t actually drown in the music video.

“Drowning” by A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie feat. Kodak Black: Speaking of drowning, isn’t a song with this title and these piano chords supposed to be about something more interesting than bragging about jewelry? Also, an accused rapist shows up to mumble and make awful jokes about farts. Let’s move on.

“Look at Me!” by XXXTentacion: Oh yeah, there was also this guy, who’s been accused of some extremely disturbing stuff (seriously, trigger warning). I can appreciate some more aggression in the beat and even X’s flow, but the distortion makes everything nearly incomprehensible, which is probably alright since the lyrics amount to little more than edgelord crap. Fuck this.

“Down” by Marian Hill: “Down” doesn’t really have any personality to speak of, driven almost entirely by a woman’s breathy voice, which later gets manipulated into a boilerplate trap beat. Seriously, what is it about this kind of pretentious “indie” pop wallpaper that attracts such an audience?

“Issues” by Julia Michaels: I’ve talked a lot of shit about Julia Michaels and her frequent collaborator Justin Tranter in the past, but “Issues” is actually a pretty compelling exploration of mental health and relationships, and Julia is a distinctive vocalist in her own right. Unfortunately, the song does have issues, and one of them is how bad it needs to pick up the goddamn pace.

“All Time Low” by Jon Bellion: Jon Bellion has a lot of potential as a songwriter and producer, but his vocals sound a lot like Adam Young with slightly more testosterone. The lyric about masturbation is questionable too, but I simply can’t hear that chorus without thinking of this video.

And now, for what I consider worst hit song of 2017:

1. “Body Like a Back Road” by Sam Hunt

Choosing between this and “Say You Won’t Let Go” for the bottom slot on my list was admittedly much harder than usual, but the decision ultimately came down to one thing. Sure, James Arthur’s song disgusts me on a very primal level, to a point where I can’t really listen to the chorus without wincing. But would the song really bother me that much if Arthur weren’t a total dick with a horrific voice? Probably not. Thus, I had to choose a song that was so unequivocally bad that literally nobody could make it work. I had to choose a song in which the awfulness was spelled out right in the title: “Body Like a Back Road.”

Before we open the can of worms that is this song, one thing needs to be addressed. Yes, this is a bro-country song. In 2017. I could maybe see the appeal if this were released in 2014, which was not only the saturation point for this embarrassing subgenre, but also for the DJ Mustard production style that this song clearly takes its influence from. But in 2017, country music has thankfully been working back towards a more organic sound, and DJ Mustard has been replaced by guys like Metro Boomin and Mike Will Made It as hip-hop’s guiding hand. From the word “go,” this song is dated and lame.

Of course, lame is a huge understatement for the lyrical content. You can infer a lot of things from the title alone, and it’s even worse than you might expect. Sam Hunt seems to dedicate this song to his fiancee, which is perhaps one of the most misconceived gifts imaginable. For fuck’s sake, Sam, you’re a country singer. It’s par the course that you’ve been on a back road before, you should know damn well that this comparison is insulting. As if that weren’t bad enough, he attempts to elaborate, waxing unpoetic about her “curves” (a word he draws out in a particularly grating manner) and how the two of them “go way back like Cadillac seats.” While the imagery is more consistent than Train’s abominable “Drive By,” it’s just as gross.

But really, the most egregious crime “Body Like a Back Road” commits is just flat-out sounding like ass. Hip-hop and country don’t exactly have a lot of aesthetic common ground to begin with, so when the rap producer this guy attempts to emulate is DJ Mustard, the whole track ends up sounding as cheap and awkward as his early abortions like “Rack City.” There’s also the weirdly lightweight live drums, not to mention whatever the hell is playing that melody in the intro and bridge. The whole song is so out of touch with the times that I’m convinced it wasn’t just a Montevallo demo. Sadly, it seems the bro-country trend never really went away, and maybe it still has legs to stand on (legs that, at some point, it’ll probably try to compare to the confederate flag or something). But last year proved that mainstream country can be so much better than this, so let’s just hope that this subgenre finally dies for real this time.

Thanks for reading my list, I should be uploading the Best Hit Songs of 2017 later this week!

#billboard #pop music #pop #opinions #long post #year-end hot 100 #billboard year-end hot 100 singles of 2017 #2017 #worst of 2017 #year-end #not tagging the artists cause while i don't respect these songs i do respect the people who enjoy them #carson's writing

[mrmichaelchadler]

War of the Words: Calum Worthy, Jackie Long, and Joseph Kahn on Bodied

Joseph Kahn’s “Bodied” is unlike anything you’ve seen before. It’s a hyperactive action-comedy set in the world of rap battling, where brilliant minds fire jaw-dropping disses at each other and the arena is a safe space for non-PC culture, no matter how offensive. In a story co-written by Joseph Kahn and Alex Larsen (with a screenplay by Larsen, known as the battler Kid Twist), "Bodied" takes the form of a rap music “Whiplash” as a dorky white kid named Adam (Calum Worthy) becomes the protege to Jackie Long’s character Behn Grimm, a master battler. Adam’s initially teeth-gnashing anthropological interest in the rap battle world (and in the use of n-word) becomes an impetus for him to genuinely join the scene, where his analytical skills become an asset in establishing himself as a rapper. 

This is the third feature film by music video director Joseph Kahn, who has always had a sharp eye on pop culture (“Torque,” “Detention”) and makes the experience of rap battling all the more in-your-face with his kinetic filmmaking. Kahn has also written criticism before from his filmmaking perspective, as with this incredibly eye-opening blog post on “The Dark Knight” and action editing. He's always been a filmmaker to watch out for, and now with "Bodied," and a recent mysterious meeting with Marvel, Kahn is making a mark of his own. 

RogerEbert.com sat down with Worthy, Long, and Kahn to discuss their wildly entertaining film, the preparation that went into coming off like real rap battlers, the blessing this project got from executive producer Eminem and more. 

My first question is for you, Joseph: “Bodied” definitely takes place in 2018, but its needle drops are like “new classics” of hip-hop, including J-Kwon, Yung Joc, DMX. Why those songs? 

JOSEPH KAHN: There’s a particular era of rap music that has a beat that’s funny to me, quite frankly. Now, rap is not funny. It’s not party music anymore. 

What about Soundcloud rap? 

No, I think it’s all laid back. The beat feels too laid back. The type of comedy I’m going for is high energy, and with propulsion. At the time I was making the movie, it just felt like the funniest beats to put against a white guy, that era of rap sounded really funny to me. And it seemed like the type of music that he simply should not be listening to. 

Jackie and Calum: What scared you the most, and excited you the most about this project?

JACKIE LONG: I don’t think nothing too much scared me about the project, at all. I wasn’t scared to do the project, but the best part was taking the project. I know it’s a very controversial movie, so that was the biggest thing for me, the controversy that it was talking about with free speech. I was happy to take the role. 

Did that particularly excite you, the non-PC nature? 

JL: The world needs to hear what this movie is talking about. You gotta definitely not be afraid of nothing, so this is like the perfect movie for that. 

CALUM WORTHY: The biggest thing that scared me about this project was some of the material that I had to say. Coming from where I was coming from, where I was protected by this major brand for a kid’s network, I was leaving that and suddenly I was putting a lot on the line to tell this story I cared about, knowing that I could face some backlash from my audience, however much I am an artist. And what excited me was the character of Adam, he’s the antihero, almost to the point of being a villain, and with some extremely complex choices. He defends his friends who are rappers for most of the movie, and then ultimately stabs him in the back. It’s like a Shakespearean theme. 

How did you guys iron out your rap battles, which are like Shakespearean monologues themselves? 

JL: Since the first day we met, it was work. We knew we both had to take each other under each other’s wing and make a good movie. We already knew what was expected, and we knew how this man would craft it. So if we do the right thing and study it and do what we’re supposed to do, we know we’re going to do a good job, and lucky enough he’s such a good sport, he wasn’t one of them actors who’s like, 'Nah, I’m going to do my own shit, I don’t need this shit' it was like we really bonded and really went to work. And deep down with the other battle rappers and doing research. 

CW: You know it’s a good script when every time you say the words, it triggers that emotion, it takes you to that moment. When I was practicing the raps with the other rappers, I wasn’t able to say the lines without being triggered emotionally, the way I wanted to on set. And obviously you try to keep that for the day, but that’s how you know you’re dealing with a really good script. 

Were you guys rehearsing constantly with the battle raps?

JL: On the double rap, that was more of a spontaneous scene, we had the other battle rappers do that. But the other stuff that we had was all written by Alex Larsen, who wrote it word for word. Our words were more telling the story of our characters, the other battle rappers, theirs was their story as well, but they could ad-lib because they’re professionals. 

CW: This was a script that was so tight and so smart, it was the smartest script I’ve ever read. I didn’t want to change a single word because every single line pushed the movie forward and the story forward. 

It’s almost like doing a basketball movie, but the other actors in it with you are Lebron James and Michael Jordan. 

That’s intimidating. 

CW: It’s extremely intimidating. And I’m not cool, I’ve never stayed cool in my life. 

But when you’re working on that finale, which is like a 40-minute rap battle, how do you keep that energy? 

CW: You rehearse it like a play. 

JL: You got good background actors as well. They gave us good energy. IF we didn’t have them as well, to feed off that energy, we couldn’t have probably done what we done. You need background, and there were some great background actors to give us that energy and to make us really feel like we were battle rappers. Some of the shots that we did sometimes was without them even knowing what we were about to say, and he shot it to capture real cheers. At the end of the day, when we were getting that message from them about how good we was, for me I was like ‘I’m going home to really study and kill this. I got these battle rappers, they’re vouching for us. Shit, this is amazing.” So I thank the background actors as well. 

They provide an immense energy. 

JL: They hung in with us man, and I thank the background actors. I started with that world, I come from that. I used to do background. And people always ask me, ‘How did you start?’ I say ‘background acting.’ I don’t say ‘extra’ because that’s disrespectful, I’m a background actor. And you can only move up if you take it serious. So, any background actor out there, my message to you is don’t go to set and get at the girls or dudes or go get the food, real ask the actors if you get the opportunity, what classes did you take, what did you do to get into acting? Ask questions, don’t just get in there to meet somebody, really watch the craft of the actor that you like. 

Joseph, how did you work with Alex to write the story? 

JK: We designed the story; film is architecture. It’s only two hours, and it’s maybe 60 to 100 scenes, so we worked out all of the scenes and motivations, and what should happen and why they happen. You really do think out all of the thematics, before hand. Then some motherfucker has to write that script. And I was off busy. My original intent was actually to cowrite it with him, and I was thinking 'I’ll do the dramatic stuff, he’ll do the rap stuff.' And then this dude, has a fucking writing … he’s a literature major. I’m directing all of these commercials and music videos, and then a couple months later he’s like, “Hey, I did a first act.” And I read it, and it was brilliant. I was like, ‘This dude is a better writer than me.’ And I said, ‘Alex, write the rest of the script,’ and there it was. 

Why is he not touring with you guys? 

JK: He’s hibernating. He’s in a moose barn milking his moose. 

JL: He kinda look you!

Is he white? 

JK: He’s a white dude who’s in Canada and milking his moose. 

CW: Talking about Justin Trudeau. 

That’s the energy of the movie: a lit major talking about rap music. Did you guys have a lot of debate about this stuff? There’s so much discussion in the movie it could be its own college course.

JL: We only had 22 days of shooting man, we couldn’t discuss too much shit. We had to really learn our lines, work, go home and get whatever rest we could, and come back to work. The discussion was for the people, the fans. 

Doing an interview for this kind of movie seems kind of pointless because it’s not about getting answers? It’s the discussion. 

JL: Exactly, we want you to leave the theater and be like, ‘Wow, did you fucking hear what they said? Oh my god.’ That’s what the movie’s about, it’s not about us giving you answers. Everybody got something that relates to them in this movie, everybody. I don’t give a fuck what race you are. 

CW: It’s an unusual theatrical experience, because right now content for the most part, is watched individually, we watch it on our own. This is a true group experience, and you want to experience it with a crowd, because it starts conversation. What some people laugh at, what some people get hurt by, that’s what’s exciting about this movie. 

Do you guys see that there is a set of rules that do form in the movie? Some definite no-nos? Completely open to non-PC limits? 

JK: I think that’s one of the fun parts about the movie, that the rules keep shifting. The rules shift. There are no rules, essentially, because there are no rules to life. What is a civilization? It’s an agreed upon set of terms that we all do to not kill each other, essentially. Because we are predators, human beings are predators. We did not get here and have seven billion people in the world because we don’t kill things, we kill everything. We eat it, we knock animals out of their homes, and kill each other, and each individual civilization, these little communities that we have, are agreements that “we are going to sit next to each other and we’re not going to kill each other.” That’s it. Period. 

We’re just going to get along. And not offend each other. 

Right. So then we have different communities get together, and the actual act of battle rapping is this wonderful, interesting metaphor for how we can essentially start poking each other for the kill, but stop. When you insult somebody for fun, and they accept, you’re literally challenging them not to kill you. 

… Joseph, what kind of books are you reading these days? What podcasts are you listening to? 

JK: I can go check my Kindle. 

Jackie and Calum: What kind of blessing did you guys get from executive producer and music supervisor Eminem? 

JL: He gave Joseph more advice than he gave us, and he gave Joseph advice on the movie, pointer tips, stuff on the actors, who they are. I never got to speak with him, the only thing I know about him through Joseph, is that he thought that me and Calum was real battle rappers. 

CW: The best part about having him involved in this film was knowing that we get his stamp of approval. Because I think that for fans of rap, they’re always wanting to make sure its legitimate when actors are portraying a rapper. With Eminem involved, we weren’t going to make this film unless one of the greatest battle rappers, if not the greatest battle rapper of all time was approving it, and making sure that it was legit and authentic. 

JL: When he thought that we were battle rappers, I mean, that’s when you know that the movie was good. We not no damn battle rappers. 

JK: You want my reading list? The Stranger by Albert Camus, Fantasyland by Kurt Andersen, Leonardo da Vinci biography by Walter Isaacson, Cognitive Semiotics of Film by Warren Buckland. The Wall by Sartre. 

So you got some existential shit, and semiotics, but you’re also interested in pop. 

JK: Buckland’s best book is his one on Steven Spielberg, it’s really funny. 

Are you going to do any more criticism? 

JK: I spoke at Stanford, like six months ago and taught a bunch of film classes there. And they want me to be an artist in residency, but I don’t have time. 

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