#my therapist: you're only in your 20s

[starlitselkie]

I feel like i'm being left behind and I hate it

#my therapist: you're only in your 20s #me: oh god i'm already in my 20s

[star-anise]

are we talking about broke therapists yet?

I've been out of things for a couple of years now, which is why I'm willing to talk about it, and maybe the pandemic has helped things a little, but holy shit the counselling and psychotherapy field is not equipped to help its practitioners in the gig economy.

Of all my interests and talents, I pursued a degree in psychology because being a therapist is supposed to be a safe, stable, well-paid job. Every therapist I met who was registered before 2008 worked and lived under that assumption. And oh boy are all the fee structures--registration, supervision, continuing education, conferences--set up for that scenario.

After getting my Master's, I struggled like hell to get a job. It was especially bad because to get my license, I needed a supervisor to take me on. To take me on, most supervisors wanted me to already have a caseload and client base. To get a caseload and client base, I needed a job.

Friends: Every single job I heard back on wanted me to have my license before I could even land an interview.

Professors and career advisors and professional development specialists all advised me very earnestly to just keep cold-calling people on the supervision list, and it began to feel a lot like my parents' friends telling me to hit the bricks and hand out resumes. That's what worked for them, right?

I finally got a supervisor who agreed to take me on, and I'd be able to use her clinic for advertising and workspace, and we were doing the paperwork to send in with my registration, when she called me up and said, "Is this job going to be your only source of income? If you're trying to depend on getting clients and building your practice for your basic needs, this is not going to work out. This has to be something you're doing on top of a basic salary. Okay, so you're not working anywhere else right now? I'm sorry, I can't move forward with this."

Even once I landed a supervisor and a job building my own private practice, I struggled. I have ADHD and am not great at self-promotion, so trying to do all my own advertising, scheduling, bookkeeping, billing, and records management (on top of counselling) was an enormous strain. One my bosses, supervisors, and other senior professionals watched with a slightly critical eye, but consoled me about because in their early days, their clinics had had business managers, receptionists, filing clerks, and accountants, and getting used to doing everything online yourself was a bit of a learning curve, wasn't it?

I counted my pennies very carefully, because I had to pay my supervisor roughly $180 for their services every 6 hours of in-person counselling I did. This meant that to break even I had to charge my clients an average of about $30 (plus room rental and service fees) an hour--and my clients, being people with complex trauma, were frequently poor, disabled, unemployed, and had no health benefits, so even $10 or $20 a session was a lot for them.

Maybe it would have been easier if I could have taken some of those nice comfortable organization positions where they find clients and funding for you and you work 40 hours a week and get benefits and a pension, but I had to be disabled into the bargain, so working 40 hours a week just isn't possible for me. I start passing out from stress and exhaustion. Older colleagues gave me serious-faced advice about approaching my employer and asking them for some flexibility and accommodation in my schedule, and I tried to explain across the gap between us that employers simply did not hire me if I made the slightest noise about the workload. They weren't going to invest in me as a person; they were hiring 40 units of work a week, and if I wouldn't do it there were a dozen applicants after me who would.

At one point I broke down enough to email my licensing body because the Annual General Meeting/Professional Development Conference was coming up, and I wanted to attend, but I could not produce $500 to do it with. Was there some kind of way I could attend anyway? I felt ashamed to have to ask, and then absolutely mortified when the response came from the organization president, who needed to personally sign off on me being too poor to attend the single most important event in my profession's calendar year.

I honestly felt so ashamed all the time at how I was apparently failing to be a successful therapist, failing to be rich and successful, and every time I mentioned it around mentors and bosses, I could feel myself shrinking from a person to a problem to be solved. My closest therapist-friends and I have reflected on how much more difficult, poorly-paid and underworked, our various career starts have been than we were ever warned about. About the classmates and coworkers who couldn't get disability exceptions when they fell behind in their registration requirements, or burned out and left the field, or dropped their registrations and took up as life coaches, or moved their whole family somewhere exceptionally remote or rural because it was the only good job available, or worked for some godforsaken app skirting the bounds of malpractice like BetterHelp.

I like those conversations, because I feel less like an absolute fuck-up in them. There's less "Hey Lis, you were so talented in grad school, I really admired you, what are you doing now?" "Oh, I, uh... am professionally disabled, so I get government benefits, and I... sell embroidery patterns on Etsy now."

My own therapist kept asking if and when I felt like going back to being a counsellor, and I finally told him: I don't, actually. I don't want to go back and do it like I was doing it before. It was a profession I loved to the depths of my soul, and it profoundly did not love me back. I can't even imagine what would have to change, in me or it, to make it have a space in it that could fit me.

All of which I was way too scared to admit to at the time, because the more I let people know I was struggling, the more they hinted that maybe I just wasn't in a place in my life where this was a job I could do, and I needed to take a little break and wait to come back until money and disability just weren't issues for me anymore.

Eventually my cups of doubt and exhaustion did overflow, and I quit. I'm here now, living a much different life. And at the very least, all my years of helping people in bad life situations set me up perfectly for my own. I already knew what form to fill out for financial assistance, which student clinics to access for mental health support, and which government agency would, if pressed, cough out pharmacy coverage for the genuinely destitute. It gave me that much.

I hope this is just me being in extraordinary circumstances, sitting at the intersections of a few different shitty life situations that most people skip right past. Because it's on one level comforting, but another deeply infuriating, if I'm not, and I've just missed it or we've just all been too afraid to admit it to each other.

#staranise original #therapisting

[wongyuseokie]

Better Than Me | Lee Seokmin; SMAU

Summary: You and Seokmin have been dating for a few years, but now you're the star of a new drama with your co-star Rowoon, which makes Seokmin insecure. Seokmin tries his best to be supportive and understanding, but sometimes it's too much, and you're both unsure if your relationship can survive the jealousy and fights.

Pairing: Idol! Lee Seokmin x Actress! Female Reader

☆ 18+ minors dni |☀︎fluff | ☁︎ angst | ♕ implied smut | ♥ completed works

Genre/Trope(s)/AUs: Idol AU! and Actress AU! Content Warnings: swearing, angst, jealousy, crying, mentions of a sprained ankle lol. Mentions of sex, food and snacks and Dispatch being public enemy number 1. Featuring the ever so handsome Rowoon. Also unnecessary Rowoon slander from Seokmin.

Smut Warnings: Mentions of multiple rounds and scratching.

Author's Note 1: thank you to the lovely @gyuwoncheol and thank you to my resident Seokmin lover @the-boy-meets-evil and my lovely wifey(s) @bitchlessdino @multi-kpop-fanfics ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ thank you guys for hearing me go on and on about this <3

Author's Note 2: This series will be released in 2024! (and yes i'm reposting this because the tag system was bothering me).

Author's Note 3: This is all fiction. ❤️

Authors Note 4: I know you're too humble, but this story would not exist without @gyuwoncheol I've wanted to make you co-author because you've inspired and helped me SO MUCH. But you won't let me, but I need you to know how much you mean to me. Thank you for being such a safe space for me to outlet and share updates and ideas. But importantly thank you for always making time for me. I adore you, my love. 🩷🩷🩷

Let me know if you wish to be tagged in this, I will only tag those who have their age visible on their profiles and are 18+.

Updates will be made daily.

Part 1: Tall Ass Rowoon ✔️ Part 2: Access Code ✔️ Part 3: Wires ✔️ Part 4: Fuck Dispatch ✔️ Part 5: #concerned ✔️ Part 6: Slutty Eyes ✔️ Part 7: Overworked PR Team ✔️ Part 8: Spiteful ✔️ Part 9: The Brightest Star ✔️ Part 10: Therapist Shua ✔️ Part 11: Emotional Support Teddy Bear ✔️ Part 12: Drunk On You ✔️ Part 13: Twice a Week ✔️ Part 14: Sweet Lies ✔️ Part 15: Hell ✔️ Part 16: Not Okay ✔️ Part 17: Test ✔️ Part 18: Hell 2.0 ✔️ Part 19: Irreparable ✔️ Part 20: Returned ✔️ Part 21: Locked Out ✔️ Part 22: Time Machine ✔️ Part 23: Lukewarm ✔️ Part 24: Fractured ✔️ Part 25: Hell 3.0 ✔️ Part 26: Last Chance ✔️ Part 27: To You (written) ✔️ Part 28: Forever ✔️ Epilogue ✔️

© wongyuseokie 2023. All rights reserved. Tag List: @dkluvrsclub @wooahaeproductions @seokgyuu @stayinhellevator @aaniag @the-boy-meets-evil @hoeforhao @here4kpopfics @ressonancee @seungkwansphd @tomodachiii @shadowyjellyfishfest @kyeomooniee @allmyl0ve17 @soupbinlily @randomworker @gyuminusone @onlyseokmins @strawberryya @meowmeowminnie @woozixo @jeonghansshitester @multi-kpop-fanfics @ohmygodwhyareallusernamestaken @imprettyweird @shuasunshine @carlesscat-thinklogic23 @gyuhanniescarat @thepoopdokyeomtouched @joonsytip @hrts4hanniehae @highvern @buffhoshi @huening-kawaii @wonwoobestboyy

I'm tagging folks who I think would be interested/ have expressed their interest hehe)

#seventeen fic #seokmin fic #dokyeom fic #seventeen social media au #svthub #kvanity

[dtrghost]

closeness and proximity part.3

pairing: ghost x f!reader

synopsis: callsign is sunshine, because you're anything but. team 141 thought ghost was bad? at least they could crack a smile out of the guy from time to time, you? you were stone faced, all day, every day. until one day you're not, not with a certain someone anyway.

warnings: inaccurate military language and sequences, angst, allusions to mental illness (reader has sociopathic tendencies) you get the gist. Finally some fluff and emotional stuff between them so yaaayyy.

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT:

word count: 2.6k

The drive back was quiet. Price drove back with Gaz and had Soap drive Ghost and Y/N. He sat in the backseat next to her, growing genuinely concerned for her mental wellbeing. The more she thought about it, about the sudden flood of emotions from a small moment in a dirty, humid bar, the more she remembered. The quicker she'd sent herself back into that room to relive those moments again, the ones she never told a soul about.

Simon had to pull her out once more in the duration of the car ride, talking with Soap and forcing her into the conversation to take her mind off of it by asking her weird, off topic questions that she answered. They got back to base and she attempted to split away from the group to her room, only to be yanked back with a serious look from her comrade.

They sat her down at the dinner table, and she suddenly felt small. She felt like she was being interrogated with the eyes of 4 staring at her intently, waiting for her to say something. Yet she didn't, she stayed quiet for 3 minutes, glancing around the room and sighing irritatedly.

"Well. Are you going to tell us or not." Ghost pressed, leaning forward in his chair next to her. She scoffed, chuckling out of anger, the sound running shivers up their spines.

"What the hell is this. You're not my fucking therapists, so quit trying to act like it." She spat, her eyes full of fire and rage.

"You listen here muppet. It's one thing for you to be angry and violent out on missions, but it's a whole other when you lash out at us." Her eyes narrowed at him, watching the flames of determination and vexation dancing, growing. She was lost in them for a moment, the others completely confused about the sudden moment they were sharing. Simon couldn't describe the urge to help her, to get her to open up to them.

Maybe he was just too curious, but what about the slip up in the bar?

love?

She had none, that he felt sure of. Sympathy maybe, a simple attempt to ground her, that's all it was.

He saw something as he read past her rage, it was small and fleeting, a light. A flicker of a candle, but this one wasn't out of anger, it was soft, gentle.

The phone rang, interrupting them as Price pulled out his phone.

"This is Price how copy?" He listened before his eyes landed on her, and just like that, the candlelight disappeared, blown out and left like it was a figment of his imagination. Now there was a void, a shell of human ready to serve and follow her orders. All of her anger dissipated as she rose from her seat. "Rog." He hung up and sighed, looking at her with a sorrowful look, one that she didn't register nor care for.

"You and Ghost have orders to be shipped out to a distribution hub in Amsterdam, you'll fly in a heli and drive the rest of the way. Your chopper will be here in 20 minutes."

"Affirm." She stormed out after that, pissed off by what had just occurred. She angrily threw her civilian mask off to the side and yanked on her work one, strapping on her vest and clipping her gear.

"This is Sunshine, Bravo 0-7 confirm channel." She spoke into her radio, adjusting her gear to her liking, making it tight and in hands reach.

"Bravo 0-7 confirmed." His voice echoed in her room, earning a sigh of irritation as she turned to look at him. He was geared up, making him look thicker than he already was with the extra padding. Instead of taking him she shoved past him, earning a 'tch' as he grabbed her arm, yanking her back to look at him.

"What the fuck is your problem?" She was angry at him. Not at the team, not at headquarters, at him. Why after all these years he suddenly cared. After all the missions they went on together, all the looks she didn't understand or the fleeting moments where she felt something more than anger or a void nothingness. He could see her confusion, making him sigh and put a hand on his hip as a hand lifted to try and sooth her down.

"I'm just trying to help-"

"I don't need your fucking help. So back off." He watched her stomp away.

"Bloody Americans." He muttered, falling into step with her. She remained silent the whole ride there, from when they landed, she was to carride. He watched her, watched as flickers of emotion passed through her gaze. 6 years of pent up feelings did something to people, he knew that better than anyone, and because of that he knew she was going to crack soon, and it was going to be his fault.

He would continue to push until one day she snapped, whether she'd cry or scream or throw a punch at him, he would be there, he had to be. He recalled the nights he'd spent with her in the last few years, where they barely talked but rather absorbed each other's presence as they cleaned their weapons or read through mission briefs. When they did talk it was meaningless, it served no benefit, no new information learned about each other, but it was comforting. He felt comfort in her coldness at the time, maybe because there was someone just as fucked up as he was.

She thought about it often too, the time they spent together on missions, how it ran smoother with him around. She didn't understand the sensations she'd get around him, the heat that burned in her chest, her face. How if she thought about him at night while he slept on the hard floor next to her, she'd press her legs together because of the heat that festered there too. She knew what desire was, she was aware of the need for pleasure, but she never indulged. What was the point if it were not with him? And in her mind she would never be with him, she wasn't good enough for that, she wasn't there, enough for something so intimate.

She knew that maybe she could live a more normal life if she had let him help her, but everything was so on and off. During the ride there she'd think, maybe she would let him help, that wouldn't be so bad. Then she'd snap out of it and be angry with herself for even allowing that thought to cross her mind. She watched a safe house appear from beyond the trees.

"We're stopping here for the night. Intel says the shipment doesn't come until tomorrow." Their driver informed them. They filed out of their cars and distributed themselves to their assigned rooms, and lo and behold, she was forced to share with Ghost. Simon watched her sigh deeply and nod, following her to their shared room.

"Go shower first." He commanded, and she obeyed without a word. She was too exhausted to fight with him. She'd spent the whole way there trying to figure out her shit before it began to affect her performance, and it killed her. She was far off the mark, easily irritated, snappy. She hoped it would wash off in the shower, and she took deep breaths while staring at herself in the mirror, hoping to turn it all off like she did before.

But she couldn't, she'd look and see anger, or a foreign feeling she didn't have a name for. Sadness? No, she had nothing to be sad about. So she huffed, exiting the bathroom to see Simon waiting patiently on his cot. She didn't spare him a glance and laid down on hers, staring up at the ceiling as he analyzed her for a moment, getting no reaction to his intense stare.

He left for his shower, and she listened to his clothes drop, letting her mind wander to what he looked like underneath them.

It was a better distraction than negativity, it made her feel something more enticing, until she was left sexually frustrated. She listened to him shower. The way the water would hit the floor in ripples, imagining how his skin shined and dripped, the coolness of the substance and how they hit his scars. Yeah, this was a better thought. She stayed there, in that moment, even after he walked out.

He snapped his fingers in front of her face, earning a glare from her.

"What're you thinkin' about now then?" He questioned, grunting as his big frame hit his bed. She didn't respond, and he didn't expect her to, likely because she was still mad at him.

"You in the shower." His head turned to her slowly, flabbergasted by what he was hearing. He listened to the melody of her voice as her shoulders shook. For the first time since they met, she laughed, truly. She found his reaction hilarious, how wide his eyes got in horror and... hope? She found that funny too, so funny she doubled over the side, cackling like a mad woman.

"Jesus fuckin' christ." Simon sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose for a moment before laughing himself. He couldn't help it, she just had one of those laughs that forced you to laugh too, the wheeze, the gasps for air as she hit her stomach and fell onto the floor.

"Sunshine, you're gonna die of a heart attack at this rate." He spoke to her, watching her wipe the tears forming in her eyes as she took a deep breath, sitting on her floor.

"I hate you, ya know." She confessed suddenly, surprising him as he looked at her curiously.

"You piss me off, you fucked me up. Don't understand anything anymore. Spent the whole day trying to put myself back together and it's just-" She mimicked an explosion, her hands dropping heavily onto her lap. He sat up, sitting down on the floor in front of her with his knee facing up to rest in his arm on.

"Well if you tell me about it, maybe I can put some things into perspective for you." He offered. He watched her mental battle, the conflict blazing through her skull. He could practically see them floating around her head like a thunderstorm.

"Oh fuckin' hell, just say it. You're thinking too much." She huffed, letting her head fall back as she stared at the ceiling for a moment.

"I can't. I can't explain it. After I got out, I didn't understand much of anything, they tried to wipe me, break me in a way others couldn't by making me forget myself and replace it with what they wanted. But I was rescued before that could happen. I was thrown back in before I could fully recover, because I had a skill set others didn't."

"Things came back in fragments, pieces of my past came back to me, and I realized that maybe it was better that I didn't remember. That if I stayed a shell I wouldn't have anymore emotion burdens than I already did. But it was too late, and it all came back to me one night in shambles. From birth to that moment, everything. I couldn't handle it, so I turned it off, I reverted back to this technique I learned while I was kidnapped, and from then I could never turn it back on." He knew what she was referring to.

Autopilot, where your mind went blank and your body operated on it's own. You couldn't feel anything, you just did what you had to.

"Then I met you. And at first that was fine. You were just another soldier that I had to work with, and then we talked that one night, and talked some more the next. And feelings began to surface on their own. I don't know what it is, excitement maybe? All I knew was that I wanted to talk to you, I looked forward to it, I got these weird feelings in my gut whenever I did."

Was she confessing to a crush... on him? She didn't care. What she did or did not confess to wasn't a concern. He asked and he was receiving.

"And then you started caring, out of nowhere. Years went by and suddenly a few days ago, after I skinned someone alive and you found out some rough shit happened to me, you changed. It made me angry, because I hate feeling, especially things I can't understand."

He noticed that too, that he cared more.

"New information can change your approach, and you have to adapt and improvise." He explained vaguely. He saw something reaching out in her, even through this dump of emotion and information, he noticed the cry for help deep inside her. The part she buried underneath years of mistreatment and being used.

"Stop talking to me like a soldier." She snapped, earning a soft gaze from him that she hadn't received before. It made her chest feel weird, and he could tell by how she grabbed at the shirt covering it.

"You're pissing me off."

"No, I'm breaking you." They made eye contact. All the breath left her lungs in that moment, from his gentle tone and low volume to the look in his eyes that made her eyes water, it was too much. She couldn't take it. Her stomach lurched, and before another word could be uttered between them she scurried to the bathroom, emptying the contents in her abdomen into the toilet.

He was by her side in an instant, shushing her quietly and rubbing her back. His heart sank at the feeling of her shiver and the sound of her retching.

"I gotcha Y/N. Always have right?" She could feel her mind cracking, tears welling in her eyes from the pressure of the vomit and being an emotional wreck.

"I can't." She muttered weakly, sitting against the shower door, grimacing as the air entering her lungs burned with the raw feeling in her throat.

"You can. In all my years being by your side, there's nothing you can't do love, you and I both know that more than anyone." Her eyes met his, seeing his seriousness and true belief in his words. His hand came up and brushed away her tears before her mask absorbed it, the rough pad of his thumbs leaving sparks in the areas he touched. She didn't say anything at first, taking his hand into hers and giving it a squeeze of reassurance, more for herself than for him.

"After our mission. Please." He couldn't say no to a plead like that, so with a curt nod he agreed and held out his other hand to her. He watched her hand envelope his, finding the size difference amusing as his basically swallowed them in his grasp.

"Let's get some sleep yeah. You've done enough for today." She let him bring her to bed, his arm secured around her shoulders, feeling her hand on his waist. He sat next to her until she fell asleep before laying on his own cot. He looked at her for most of the night, making sure she didn't wake up, pondering about what she could be dreaming about as her eyelids flickered ever so often.

He followed her steady breaths to lull him to sleep, praying that tomorrow would go by without too much of a struggle so he could have another moment as intimate as the previous with her, even if it was small.

And that's part 3!! Finally some fluff and opening up, but I wouldn't get too comfortable with it just yet. I have some plans, not sure how I'll execute it but we're getting somewhere. Thank you so much for reading!!

#simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #simon riley x you #simon ghost riley x you #cod x reader #cod mw2 #call of duty modern warfare #call of duty modern warfare 2 #simon riley #simon riley imagine #ghost x reader #ghost call of duty #ghost x you #simon ghost x reader #fanfic #ghost fanfiction #simon riley fluff #simon riley fanfic #ghost cod #ghost mw2 #ghost fluff

[transformation4life]

A Little Too "Daddy"

It was a typical summer day after work for Joseph in his aparment. He typed away on his computer talking to his boyfriend, Carl.

Carl: Saw a really hot guy today while walkin' home today babe

Joseph: Oh yea? What body type

Carl: A total Daddy!!! Like damn... wish he was my boyfriend. Not to say you're bad but like... you know. Joseph: Haha... I see.

Carl: It's whatever anyway lol he was with his kids and clearly banged a woman.

Joseph: You can't say that for sure-

Carl: He was every stereotypical dad trope in the book bro. I know my stuff!!!

Joseph: If you say so... but like are you trying to say I should try and bulk up?

Carl: Maybe...

Joseph: Aw Carl, You know that's difficult.

Carl: Yea but imagine me calling you daddy haha

Joseph: You're lucky I love you.

Carl: Yea i know! Anyways Gotta go now. My favorite telenovela is about to start. Love you babe!

Joseph: Bye. Love you!

Joseph closed the messaging app with a sigh. He did a "bicep" flex and yup still skinny.

"Ugh. This sucks! Why can't I be what he wants?" Joseph slammed his face on his keyboard in despair.

"I should really talk to someone about this- oh wait! Joseph recalled the therapist hotline stapled onto the breakroom pinboard at his work.

"I guess I'll text it right now..." Joseph was quick to turn on his phone and with a bit of help he eventually texted the codeword to activate the automatic transfer.

Thank you so much for being here we'll get you to one of our members immediately!

"Oh great... this'll take a while hu-"

*Bling*

"oh!"

???: Hi my name is G3NI3 how can I help you, today?

Joseph: G3NI3? Did your parents hate you?

G3NI3: Nah dude it's a CODENAME. Gotta keep some sort of confidentiality

Joseph: Ah right fair enough

G3NI3: Alright so what's your name and why did you text us today?

Joseph: Joseph, and I'm here because of my boyfriend...

G3NI3: Aww did you break up?

Joseph: No... it's more... he saw a hot dad today and said "i wish he was my boyfriend"

G3NI3: Oh i see... was the dude straight?

Joseph: Yea why do you ask?

G3NI3: Just wondering... Anyways so I'm guessing the dude was like super buff and stuff? Joseph: Yea... meanwhile I'm a scrawny man in my 20's...

G3NI3: I see I see... so what you're saying is that if you were an older "daddy" you'd be happier?

Joseph: Yea. Atleast it'd appease my boyfriend...

G3NI3: Alright then, say Joseph why don't you tell me about your life and how you met your boyfriend maybe this'll help

Joseph: Uh... sure. Okay so like... we met in highschool and we REALLY hit it off so we started dating pretty soon after and now we're here.

G3NI3: Makes sense. Though... based on your talks I feel like you'd be more bros than boyfriends

Joseph: Huh? what makes you say that?

G3NI3: Idk just got the vibe.

Joseph: How WOULD you say that you only know him as my boyfriend.

G3NI3: Yea but like for people your age, not sure i'd go randomly say "hey this man my age should be friends with me!"

Joseph: What are you talking about? My boyfriend is like 24 and the dude seemed 40.

G3NI3: Nah man, didn't you say you were both in your 40's?

Joseph: No... I said 20's

G3NI3: Pretty sure I saw 40's

Joseph: Yea well!! I can just scroll up and see!!

G3NI3: Suit yourself.

Joseph was getting furious at this "G3NIE". He 100% told them he was in his... 40's? Joseph read the text again.

"Joseph: Yea... meanwhile I'm a scrawny man in my 40's..." Joseph couldn't believe it, but then it dawned on him oh wait... he IS in his 40's haha imagine actually being in my 20's again that would be WILD.

Joseph: Sorry about that. You're right me and my boyfriend are in our 40's.

G3NI3: Told ya. Though you never told me your boyfie's name.

Joseph: Oh it's Carl. Pretty normal name.

G3NI3: Weird... I feel like he would be more a Carlito.

Joseph: Uh... What makes you say that?

G3NI3: Isn't he from Mexico?

Joseph: Uh... yea? But how did you know that?

G3NI3: Lucky guess. I mean... imagine having a mexican hottie like him as your bro.

Joseph: Not sure what you mean. We're DATING and he's skinny like me. Even though we're both in our 40's...

Joseph paused for a second. Wasn't Carlit- Carl in his 20's and skinny? but then he "remembered" the last pic his boyfriend sent him.

"Get ready to some farm work for my bonita~ What do you think?"

Wait... Bonita? Carl- No... Carlito would never call Joseph that. Not to mention his boyfriend never looked like that! Or... did he? Joseph scrambled through his memories and every memory he had of Carlito was him as jacked af Mexican man. Guess he forgot how lucky he was. The bonita bothered him but he just ignored it for now.

Joseph: Sorry nvm yea he is all that. We're dating though so we're not just "bros".

G3NI3: nah man, you seem like bros to me. Don't you remember he married Maria and got like 2 kids.

Maria??? who is- Oh right. Maria is Carlito's "Bonita" He rants about her all the time to you at your weekly bar hangouts. Joseph remembers how his two kids Mateo and Juanita would call him Uncle Joseph! Ah he loves those little rascals. Wait.. something felt off to Joseph.

Joseph: How do you know all this? Isn't this our first session?

G3NI3: What are you talking about dude? This is like our 20th one together

"W-What???" Joseph could not believe what G3NI3 was saying. This was definitely his first using the hotline. Joseph could prove it he just has to scroll up a bit and- Huh?

To Joseph's amazement, G3NI3 was right they've been talking for months. And what do you know they bring up everything about Carlito too. Guess that's that mystery solved.

Joseph: Oh man, you're right guess my age is starting to show...

G3NI3: Don't count yourself out yet old man. You have a kid to care for!

Joseph: Kid??? You must be joking I'm single and could never get a kid! I'm gay!

G3NI3: Oh come on don't be like that just cause you had a divorce with Kate doesn't mean you gotta deny being straight as an arrow or deny that kid you helped make! Joseph: Okay now you're crazy! No way I got married to a LADY. I was never into them!!

G3NI3: No need to get worked up big guy. Your son is following in your footsteps as a bodybuilder! Bodybuilder???? What kind of insanity is G3NI3 spewing now! Joseph was skinny as stick. Always has been.

Joseph: You must think I'm crazy if you want to believe I'm anything but a stick! It's a miracle Carlito even wants to hang out with a single skinny guy like me!

G3NI3: Oh don't be so shy! I know you love flexing in front of Carlito to show how you can attract the ladies! Your libido is off the charts bro.

Joseph had enough of this. He'd crush his phone with his big strong hands if he didn't have the money to replace it.

Joseph: Now listen here! I know I love a good flexing or two but I wouldn't say I have a high libido! Besides... I'm not manly enough I don't got a beard or any cool tattoos...

G3NI3: Come on, Josef! You're the manliest they come! With a luscious ginger beard and a tattoo of a cross between your tits AND one on your left arm you're peak masculinity! And you even married a WOMAN. Sure it didn't last but it's something!

Josef: You really think so? Aw shucks. Maybe if I was a faggot we could've dated... as if! The only thing I love more than muscles is a good looking women to take home and fuck silly.

G3NI3: Focus Josef. Use that bald head of yours for once and think! You came here because you didn't think Carlito doesn't want to hang out with you right?

Josef: Yes... we might've been bros since middle school but idk ever since me and the divorce with Kate it just doesn't feel like the same...

G3NI3: Puh-lease. You guys are two peas in a bro-pod. Do you really think Carlito would send you this if you weren't bros for life?

Josef: Ah I remember that! Carlito made those fags think they had a chance with him when he and Maria been fuckin' for years! Got a good laugh out of that!

Carlito: Exactly! Who would send that to a straight friend otherwise!

Josef: You're right... What did I have to worry about? Me and Carlito? We're buds for life!

Just then a knock came at the door.

"Dad! Carlito's here!" "Coming, Son!"

Josef: Welp, looks like Carlito's here. Thanks for the talk G3NI3. Always appreciate ya!

G3NI3: No problem! and remember... you asked for this

Josef: W-Wha?

G3NI3: Nothing! Bye

"And to think that's my therapist... Anyways gotta get ready for my bro!" Josef got up from his seat and left his bedroom stationed at the 2nd floor of his house. Gotta thank Kate for that child support money. But before he could enter the hallway...

"Son! I told you no underwear and caps in the house! Put some damn clothes on!"

Sorry pa, I just loveee my muscles. Do you mind if a girl comes over tonight? I think it'll work this time!"

"'Course Son. The Women will love ya! You get it from your old man!" Josef flexes to make his point clear.

"Thanks dad!" Josef's son flexes back before getting ready for his date.

"How did I get lucky enough to get a son like that?" Josef chuckled. He might not got much but at least he has son and his bro Carlito.

"Oh right! Carlito!" Josef almost forgot to get ready so he grabbed a fresh set of clothes and went to go change in the bathroom.

Before he changed Josef did one quick flex in the mirror.

"G3NI3 wasn't kidding. That libido of mine is ready to go!" Josef was proud of his physique. But now's not the time for that he has to go meet his bro.

Josef adorned his massive figure with a tank top saying "BEAST" and some killer designer shades he was ready to finally answer that door. With a strong force Josef opened the door to find the man himself, Carlito.

"Hola amigo. Have you seen that faggot Josef anywhere? Haha!"

"Oh come on Carlito, you know I'm as straight as an arrow!" Josef said back in a playful tone.

"Would you change your mind if I were to... do this?" Carlito took his shirt and removed his shades and did a flex right in front of Josef.

"...."

"..."

"..." "GAHAHAHA" The two large man laughed in unison.

"Nah bro, you're my bro forever and always." Josef smiled.

"As always mi amigo, now let's rapido we're gonna be late for our gym sess!" Carlito put his shirt and shades back on and headed for his luxury car.

As for Josef he didn't have a car as cool as Carlito but had a car from the 2000's and it was like his second child but don't tell Josef's son that. But before he got in his car Josef took a moment to feel his masculinity in the car window's reflection.

"I look damn fine."

And So Josef and Carlito went to have grand old brotime together. Working out together like true bros, hanging out at the bar like true bros, and of course trying to get Josef with a woman for the 30th time this month. You'd think they were a couple but nah they're both straight as arrows no doubt about that. Josef lived a happy life despite his circumstances and that meant more time to flex flex FLEX!

Safe to say he was a real... daddy. He's even got the kid to show for it.

#muscle tf #male tf #gay to straight #reality change #mental change #mind change

[averageallogene]

What are your thoughts on Tighnari x Modern!reader? Like reader gets transported into Genshin, and Tighnari finds them wondering around the forest confused or sum like that! I feel like that could be something interesting to think about. Thank you, and have a lovely day <3

Gender neutral reader ; fluff. Scenario format.

notes. Hello dear anon! ♡ That's such an interesting idea, I feel like Tighnari would definitely be one of the most fun characters to come across a modern reader! I hope you enjoy the ideas and I apologize for the wait! Enjoy! ✧˖°.

Tighnari would definitely, at first, be a little ticked off upon finding some lost soul so dangerously prowling through the Avidya Forest! All his hardwork only to have people ignore his well deserved warnings had him prematurely growing white hairs, seriously.

He would at first watch from afar as the person, seemingly confused, walked slowly as their eyes gawked at the fauna and flora around them, fingers carefully brushing through the folliage as they attempted to figure out their surroundings. He would jump into actino however, upon noticing how they approached some fungi with a smile on their face- Did they not know they were a dangerous threat!?

Turns out, they didn't. The unknown individual would nearly scream at the sight of one of his arrows flying through the air, hastily dealing with the problem. The forest ranger would watch as they fell back, eyes soon landing on him before inquiring why did he do that.

"Why? Because they're a danger, isn't that obvious?" Would be the first words he'd ever throw at them, hand resting on his hip before his eyes narrowed. "Hey, you listening to me?"

They weren't. I mean, how could they? They had someone with real ears and a tail in front of them, wagging and wiggling at every little sound. The sudden urge to touch them was strong, but they had to find out where they were first and foremost.

Tighnari was definitely a little ruthless at first, even if there were some alarm bells that the person before him wasn't from Teyvat. Hinsight's 20/20, and their clothing definitely should've been enough for him to inquire more. Still, his attitude definitely stemmed from the worry of them being injured.

It would all change upon them bashfully cutting him off. "Yes, yes, I understand but- Where exactly... Am I? What place is this?"

Well, Tighnari had been with the traveler before, so despite the initial surprise of their question, he quickly realized what was the issue. It was as though the pieces finally connected, his tongue clicking silently before he offered an apology for any worried smothering.

He helped them get up, checking for any injuries before they made their way back to Gandharva Ville. Their eyes would wander between the forest and his ears, but he simply ignored as he explained to the best of his abilities. He went into deep detail to try and ensure they grasped their situation, explaining a little bit of their history all the while.

"A rainforest... So like the Amazon!" Their eyes would sparkle as they thought aloud, Tighnari hesitantly responding with a 'yes?' even though he had no idea what the 'Amazon' was. He would definitely inquire about it later, he first had to ensure they recieved food and water.

Only upon ensuring they were alright and rested, would Tighnari ask more personal information like their name! After all, he wished to let them know they were safe with the Forest Rangers. Thankfully, despite the initial shock, they were cooperative and overall positive. Perhaps it was due to the initial shock of being somewhere far from home.

He would listen super attentively to everything they had to say! From their name, where they were from, what was it like... The researcher would simply nod his head and even take a few notes, most likely for some follow up questions he'd save for later.

"It's like you're my therapist, taking those notes, haha!"

"A 'therapist'?"

Oh boy.

Praise the Archons they were very patient, for Tighnari's curiosity knew no bounds. In truth, it was endearing. His tail would wag slowly from side to side, his ears twitching ocasionally as he hummed over whatever they had to say. He most definitely took notice, that was something he was used to, after all. A few days later he even took the initiative to ask something regarding the constant staring.

"Do you want to touch them? They're quite fluffy."

"Can I?!" Their excitement was adorable, in truth.

He bent his head down so they could reach his ears, their touch much more soft than what was the norm. Tighnari let them explore his ears with a small smile, followed by his tail. His trained eye knew it wasn't something they were used to seeing, yet still he asked.

"Do you... Not have hybrids back where you're from?"

"No! These aren't a thing back home, so that's why- Oh Goodness they're so soft."

Cute.

Throughout the course of their stay, he would inquire if they'd feel comfortable sharing more about their home, and the two of them would sit together as he listened more about their life before they had stumbled upon Teyvat. Tighnari got to learn a lot of strange things, like what a smartphone was. How exactly could... A small, artificial rectangular device be smart, he had no idea, but he surely wouldn't let Cyno know of that term no matter what. He already cringed with the jokes even when miles away.

Another topic Tighnari liked to revisit often was the botany field. He'd inquire if they had similar flowers to the ones in Pardis Dhyai, the two having tranquil walks as he listened to interesting facts about the flora of their home, if they knew any. He would ask questions that would be nothing less than endearing to them, inquiring aloud how if they had no Padisarahs how would they season their food, for instance. And speaking of food! Him and Collei adored cooking for them, watching with curiosity if they enjoyed the food Sumeru had to offer. Turns out, they themselves knew how to cook pretty well, so it was a treat whenever they would cook a specialy of their home, or the closest thing possible given the difference in ingredients!

And despite the good times and the seemingly seamless adaptation process, homesickness was bound to come. Tighnari was more than aware of it, so he would do next to anything he could to try and help them cope. If they have any particular hobbies, he would do his best to indulge with them. Drawing? He's not great, but he'll join them. Writing? He'll offer to read whatever they write, if they want! Music? Perhaps they can visit the Grand Bazaar and search for an instrument for them. Speaking of the Grand Bazaar, some strolls through Sumeru City are sure to help! Hell, even if Cyno's joke's help ease the melancholy, he will deal with them for a month straight if needed.

He would also exchange more regular mail with the traveler, inquiring if they'd yet found a way to return to their own home. Perhaps they had an idea how to do so? Or even better, maybe they could meet his new friend? After all, only someone who shares the same homesickness can perhaps have a deeper conversation regarding the emotions that such a thing stirrs within. Even if he'd like for them to stay... He totally understands if in the long run that isn't a viable option. Tighnari will support them either way.

Case and point, Tighnari is a great friend, going the extra mile for those he cares about. ♡

#genshin impact #genshin impact tighnari x reader #genshin tighnari x reader #tighnari x reader #genshin fluff #genshin x reader #yoko drabbles

[lyraeon]

A while back I learned something important from my therapist, and since I was trying to recount it anyway to share with a friend, I thought I would bring it to y'all as well.

We have all had at least one of those days where we've stayed up way too late doing something fun but we just don't want to stop doing it. Logically I figured that's just because "well yeah I don't want to stop, I have to go to sleep then to work and those suck compared to it."

Except then that starts happening often and you feel bad about always staying up every night, but then you feel worse and get more stressed because you know you're doing something you're "not supposed to", but because you're more stressed you want more fun time... endless cycle.

But as I was talking about it all and told her I thought I was self-sacrificing, the therapist had a very useful question for me:

"How do you normally know it's time to stop having fun? Like you know it's time to finish work because your shift's over, you know it's time to stop doing the dishes when they're all done or the washer's full, what is your signal to stop having fun?"

And I had to search for a while to answer.

"When the activity is done" - okay sure, but many games and books and series, or doing your own creative thing, "done" may take days upon days or even be non-existent.

"When I had to pass the controller" - obvious and easy one! If you knew you had a finite turn then the defined end is readily there, and you're also prepared for it! But requires pre-arranging the limits.

"When I got in trouble for it" - ding ding ding, we found the big problem.

When you grow up with "fun" being a forbidden activity you're only allowed to do after everything else is done to 100% perfection, then you learn to sneak it in where you can fit it. And you need that shit, seriously - you cannot get through life without some source of enjoyment, some tiny glimmer of joy among the tedium.

Many of us learned to read under the covers, or to play our gameboy in the bathroom and hide it under the sink, or that we could get away with running around the backyard for another 20 minutes if we just learned which intonation of "come inside" was the actual trouble line, or whatever other ways to cram in as much joy as we could before the hammer came down, for whatever severity that meant in your house.

And so that feeling of "I shouldn't be doing this, I'm going to get caught, but if I'm going to get in trouble anyway I might as well get as much out of this as I can" becomes part of what you expect to feel when you're having fun. And you only know how to stop having fun when you feel that way when you get in trouble for it - and in absence of anyone else controlling your behavior, that means the bad guy becomes either whatever task pops up to remind you responsibilities exist, or your significant other pointing out it's really late and they wish you'd come to bed, or your boss yelling at you for being tired all the time... or it becomes you.

If you don't learn that fun isn't a forbidden activity, if you stay stuck in the mindset that it's something you have to cram in in secret and hide that you're even doing? It becomes so so easy to hate the voice of reason in your head that's trying to encourage moderation and we're going to regret this tomorrow.

And that escalates. You keep being too tired the next day. You keep feeling even worse when you sit down to enjoy yourself the next night because now you're already tired, so stress gets to you faster, and now you feel guilty about how late you're staying up so you're not really enjoying playing your game or scrolling Tumblr or whatever anymore, you're just nervously glancing at the clock, "have I spent too long yet? How much longer can I do this before I get in trouble?"

Even though now you're in your 20s or 30s and it's been a decade since the last time anyone else told you it was bed time.

Learning that you're allowed to have fun isn't easy; guilt and shame are emotions that run very, very deep. And neither is learning to have a healthier relationship with saying "okay, that's enough for today".

For one, you have to stop threatening yourself. "Tomorrow is gonna suck" and "You're going to regret this" and "we're going to get in trouble at work" don't work. You already feel bad, you already know it's gonna suck, so why wouldn't you try to cram in one more hour now while it's not the day that's going to suck yet? Punishment is not incentive.

Because by now you're in a situation where sleep is a horrifying punishment that ends any fun, but you're not enjoying your fun anyway because you're tired all the time on top of feeling ashamed for doing something fun, and you're spending the entire time beating yourself up for being an idiot with no self control who can't even handle going to bed on time like a normal human being...

etc etc etc.

You will hear a lot of people give advice on how to get rid of the idea of having to "earn" sleep or fun or happiness by doing "enough" other things. To learn to accept that just being alive is enough reason to "deserve" to do those things. That will work for some people, but for others it just ends up one more thing to scold yourself about, especially when you're already in the habit not of denying yourself entirely but instead of doing it and feeling guilty the whole time.

But learning to set limits ahead of time, so that you're not anticipating some unknown time that a nebulous authority figure is going to finally have their horror monster timer run out and leap out at you but instead know when and what to expect? Holy shit it helped.

Don't get me wrong, it hella felt like depriving myself at first, like I was being grounded, and I looked at my phone beeping saying it was bedtime quite often and got annoyed.

But then I stopped treating fun as something that had to wait until the end of the day and everything else had to be done first. It is way easier to stare down sleep and go "I don't need you", especially if you have any kind of insomnia making the idea of being in bed a dreadful one on top of it. It is harder to say that about dinner, or calling a friend, or walking the dog. Plus then the day isn't over yet, so giving up on your fun isn't also accepting that as the defining moment of the end of your day!

So you have to start practicing looking for places to squeeze in a little more fun - "I've got an hour before dinner, that's perfect to make some tea and watch two episodes." "My favorite youtuber just put up a new video, why don't I take a break to watch it before I finish this homework?" "I need to go grocery shopping tomorrow anyway, and if I leave an hour early I could go kick around the bookstore first."

And once you do, fun starts to feel less shameful.

Don't get me wrong, if your issues run deep enough it still does sometimes. But when you get to have these moments of joy that you don't feel the need to hide or apologize for and where punishment isn't part of the routine, then fun stops feeling like something you have to dig your claws into for fear of having it taken away from you once someone catches you with it. And that means that finishing a level and glancing over at the clock is something you do because it actually managed to click a satisfaction switch in your head and you wondered if it was a good note to end on for now, instead of something you do with your breath held and the berating words already cycling in your mind.

I am not offering this advice expecting it to work for everyone or be easy or anything like that. I am someone with Depression, ADHD, and pretty severe PTSD sharing a technique that one therapist told me that really happened to click for and help me specifically, in case it might help someone else be a little nicer to themselves today, too.

#mental health #PTSD #child abuse / #abuse / #depression #insomnia #long post #unsolicited advice #don't mind me just journaling in public

[devotedlykoneshots]

PARK SEONGHWA: THE THERAPIST

Genre : 🔞minors dni, small age gap, reader is a menace, seonghwa does a little more than guide her, smut

Word count: 3,814

--------

It was silent for a few minutes as your counselor went over your file, face void of any emotion and leaving you nothing that could give away what he was thinking about.

Your parents had sent you to a behavioral program for troubled kids after your last outburst landed you in jail.

They'd been very calculated by it , sending you before your 18 birthday so you wouldn't be able to leave even if by law you could.

You had nowhere to go and no financial support especially since your family practically abandoned you since you entered the program.

It's been months and nothing, not even a Ietter from them but you'd excepted your fate and chose to make due with what you had.

On the bright side kids there weren't that bad and most of them were in the same position as you were, the more you show progress in the program the more you're allowed freedom.

The program also helped young adults find housing and jobs once they completed the program, so it wasn't all bad but still you didn't want to be there.

A voice brings you out of your head.

"i see you have a history of violence."he shuts the thick folder and you shrugged your shoulders.

"People have a history of pissing me off."you rolled your eyes and he sighed, the new ones are always the hardest to get through to.

"We need to find the trigger only then can I help you , you can't just retaliate with violence everytime someone is being a dick to you"he half scolds you which you noticed now that he looked pretty young to be working here.

"Excuse my french"he apologized for his outburst and you smirked at him losing his temper.

"Look I'm here to help you reign in those violent impulses, that starts with identifying the problem and that means going back through your past"he said and you sighed, gathering your things and standing up.

"We're gonna be here awhile and you have another session in 20 minutes"you told him and he scoffed, blocking you from leaving with his arm.

"Then you better get started"he said and you looked at him incredulous.

"sit"he orders you and you plop back down in your chair, defeated and finally starting to give in.

-------

"You use humor as a way to hide your pain, it's not uncommon"your first session with Mr park was pretty much a success, you'd talked about your father abandoning you before you turned 5 and how your mother married quickly after he left.

It turned out neither of your parents were faithful in that marriage and that led to your trust and commitment issues.

You also have major abandonment issues which your mother never caught onto considering she'd just abandoned you just like your father.

"Thank you"you said to his statement about your coping mechanisms, you'd been through that drug phase and that played a factor in you being sent there.

You thought it was a bit hypocritical since your mother, father and step father all went through a drug phase.

"That's not a good thing"he said, shaking his head and you raised your eyebrows.

"What I'm hearing is you think

I'm funny"you said , making his job harder was your favorite pass time.

"I- no, that's not-"he trips and stumbles over his words embarrassingly but you say nothing about it, the feeling of you eyeing him with that mischievous look in your eyes.

It made him flustered.

It's not that none of his clients haven't tried to flirt with him or didn't try and make a move on him because they have but there was something different about you.

Maybe it was your story or the way you carry yourself despite having been through so much at a young age and you're not even half way through your past at that but you still made seonghwa nervous like a little high school girl being near her crush for the first time.

"Let's talk about journey"this however caught you off guard, your "sudden" change in sexuality is also why you're here, your mom almost had a heart attack when she came home early from work and saw you sucking on a girls neck in her living room.

"Why?"you asked, your face contorts into a pained look.

"Because as soon as you heard her name you became tense, it's obviously a hard topic for you"he tells you and you shake your head.

"We really don't-"he cuts you off with a warning tone, not giving you a choice.

"Y/n"

"She was my girlfriend"you hurried out and seonghwa heard it.

"Girlfriend? You're-"you raised your eyebrows, clearly amused.

"Are you asking about my sexuality Mr park?"you asked with a smirk, he was so fun to rile up.

"No!"he exclaimed and you laughed at his outburst, cheeks burning red.

"I would never"he said and you smiled, nodding your head.

"Good, that would have been extremely unprofessional. I'd hate to get you into any trouble"you blinked innocently at him and you could swear you could see a little tent in his pants.

"I'm pansexual, just in case you were wondering"you leaned forward and whispered to him, he gulps and clears his throat.

"Back to journey"he said, redirecting the subject back to the task at hand and you let out a grumble.

"She was my first love and my mother forbid that we see each other, the end"with that you took it upon yourself to end the session and with left the room, slamming the door closed as you left.

------

During lunchtime you took it upon yourself to go and apologize to Mr park, just before you could knock on the door a moan rips from under the door.

So you open the door after a moment and let yourself in, the sight before you was a beautiful sight with his cock in his hand and his hips bucking into his fist.

The quick rise and fall of his chest which unfortunately stopped the moment he realized someone walked into the room.

"Y/n, you're supposed to be having lunch"he pants as he stands up and turns away from you, tucking himself back in his jeans which didn't hide much because he was still hard.

"You always jerk off while I'm having lunch, mr park?"you asked and he runs his fingers through his hair as he bends down to put his paperwork away.

"I'm not answering that, I uh-"he answered before placing his hands on the desk and shutting a drawer with his foot before turning to look at you, you slowly stalking towards him like a predator stalking it's prey right before it pounces.

"What can I help you with?"he asked and you pulled yourself up onto his desk.

"I was coming to apologize for storming out earlier"you said innocently as if you weren't perched on top of his desk, looking like a present made just for him.

"Don't worry about it , I forced you into something you weren't ready for"he replied after clearing his throat.

"No you were right, bottling up my emotions is what got me here"you told him and pushed him into his chair, the heavy rise and fall of his chest beginning to return.

"I'm glad you're finally-"he chokes on air as you take your foot which you had removed your shoes while he was occupying himself, dragging your foot up the expanse of his thigh.

"Finally what?"you asked, drawing his attention back to you and he takes a deep breath.

"Y/n"he pushes your foot to the side and stood up, towering over your body and looking down on you with dark eyes.

"This is inappropriate"he said and you bit your bottom lip.

"What's inappropriate is you getting a hard on during our session"you fired back and he groans softly, cupping your jaw with one hand and tilting your head back.

"This mouth of yours is gonna get you in trouble one day"he said and you drag your hands down his chest.

"Arrest me then"you challenged him and he pulls you off his desk.

"Come here"he turns you around and bends you over his desk , grabbing a handful of your hair and pulling your head back as you let out a gasp at the sudden aggressiveness he was giving you.

You liked that. A lot.

"You like messing with my head, don't you?" He whispered in your ear and you smiled at that.

"Only because it clearly turns you on."you said and he groans softly, grinding his bulge against your clothed ass.

"This isn't right, I shouldn't be doing this"he said and let go of your hair, his senses coming back a little bit.

"Your body is saying something totally different"you said and grinded back against him, leaning your head back to look up at him.

"I want you to fuck me in every hole imaginable, now"he curses under his breath and pushes you back down on his desk, pulling your pants and panties down in one go.

His mouth is on you instantly as he kisses your ass and you have to quickly cover your mouth once he slaps your ass.

"Fuck, yes-"you moan softly and push back against his hand, he forces you back against the desk and licks your pussy from behind.

"Spread your legs"you immediately obeyed and he turns around before sliding underneath you, your bottom half is hidden by his desk thankfully because the door opens and in comes one of the founders of the program.

"Y/n? What are you doing here?"he asked and you looked up at him , forcing a smile upon your face as seonghwa starts to blow air onto your pussy and having to fight back a shiver that so desperately wanted to take over.

"Waiting for Mr park, I wanted to apologize for earlier"you told him but he walks further into the room, now concerned.

"Did something happen?"he asked, genuinely.

"I got a little too emotional and stormed out earlier, it was a touchy subject"you told him, hoping that'd be enough to get him to drop it and leave.

You were very wrong.

"Well it's good that you're recognizing your mistakes and fixing them accordingly, that's progress"he applauded you for your progress, he wouldn't be applauding you if he knew what was happening underneath that desk just a few feet from where he stood.

"Thank you"you said and he gave him a smile as seonghwa parted your lips , tongue swirling around your entrance before dragging the soft muscle up to your clit.

"Don't wait too long , lunchtime is almost over"he tells you and finally made his way to the door , allowing you just enough time to bite your bottom lip and grip the males hair beneath you.

"Of course"you responded.

"Bye!"he turned around and waved at you, you nodded and waved back. A sigh of relief escaping your lips as the door shut and he sucks on your most sensitive part, a whimper escaping your lips.

"Be quiet"he said, looking up at you and pulling your hips flushed against his face. His tongue felt amazing as he ate you out, ignoring the sounds you tried your best to keep inside.

"Little brat is speechless now, isn't she?"he taunts you , you go to reply but he cuts you off immediately.

"I-"

"I said be quiet"he stares up at you with dark eyes, this time a shiver ran down your spine from his look and he pulls back from your pussy and stands up.

Two fingers are stuffed into your tight pussy as he turns you around and pushes you up against the desk before starting to pump , smiling almost sadistically at the look on your face.

No signs of you fighting him whatsoever, you were a good girl in that moment.

"If I would've known you'd be this plaint with just a few fingers in you , I would've done this months ago"he said and you looked up at him through hooded eyes as he starts to slowly jerk his fingers, speeding up suddenly and you lean forward as a gasp leaves you.

You cling to him almost desperately as your body contorts at the pleasure he was giving you, hips bucking against his fingers with your face in his neck as you let out muffled cries.

"That's it, cum all over my fingers darling"he whispered into your ear as you holds you close and just like a good girl you cum all over his fingers just like he said, he slows down his pace as he guides you seamlessly through your orgasm before pulling back and sticking his fingers into his mouth.

"My turn"you look up at him as he unbuttoned his pants and pushed them down, his boxers following soon after before he's taking a seat in his chair.

"Come here"he said as he strokes his cock lazily and you looked at him, almost in a trance.

He was bigger than you expected.

You moved to walk towards him but he stopped you.

"Stop"he said and you obeyed immediately, you had no idea but it turned him on immensely.

You being his good girl, listening to him, following his every command like a good pet.

"On your knees"he said with a smug grin and you were so far gone already, you sink onto your knees without a second thought and crawl over to him.

You lick from his inner thigh to his balls and begin to suck on them, he groans softly and continues to stroke his cock until you move his hand before wrapping your smaller ones around his shaft.

"Come on, take it"he urges you and gather spit in your mouth before licking his cock, taking his tip between your lips and bobbing your head along his cock.

His fingers tangle into your hair and he tilts his head back, curses slipping from his lips at finally getting some attention for his cock and he looks down at you to see that you're already watching him.

One hand on his thigh and the other wrapped around the base of his cock, squeezing and twisting as you take more of his cock into your mouth.

"Fucking hell"he groans softly and pushes your head completely down, you're instantly gagging on his cock and essentially choking but he keeps you there until you're tapping his thigh for him to let you up.

He does so immediately and smiles at your coughing, gasping for air and he stands up before he's grabbing your chin and pushes his cock back into your mouth.

Your hands wrap around his thighs as he fucks your throat and he bites his bottom lip, the lewd sounds coming from the both of you had you squeezing your legs closed but he tsked and pushed them apart with his foot.

You pull back off his cock to catch your breath again and he pulls you up, turning you around and bending you over his desk again.

"I should just leave you right here, like this"he said as he prods at your hole and you looked back at him, a whimper leaving your lips.

"Please don't"you beg him and you let out a gasp , your back arching as you felt him enter inside of you.

"Oh my god"you breathe resting your head on his desk but you receive a harsh slap to your ass.

"Look at me, watch me fuck you"his hips roll into you slowly and you bite your bottom lip, nodding at his demand.

"O-okay"you said and he smiles, leaning forward and kissing your neck sloppily before sucking on the skin harshly.

"Yeah you wanted this so bad, you're gonna watch"he rasps and kisses your hair before pulling away, gradually thrusting his cock into you faster as he builds momentum.

"Oh my-"you cover your mouth as you look back at him and he spreads your cheeks just for you to see when he enters and pulls out.

"Fuck"he pulls your shirt off and tosses it on the floor, spreading your legs and pulling your hips back into him.

He enjoyed watching your eyebrows furrow and your hand clamped down over your mouth to keep quiet, your back arching with every thrust and how good it felt to be inside of you.

"I'm gonna cum"you warned him and he pulled out of you before turning you around again and sitting you on his desk, sliding back into you before resuming his pace.

"Kiss me"you whimper and try to pull him closer but he smirks at you.

"Do you really deserve it though?"he asked and you whine softly.

"That's not fair, no teasing"you complained and he didn't like that, wrapping his hand around your throat and pushing you down on the desk.

"You'll take whatever I give you...."a sharp thrust gets you to fall back in line easily, your back arching and he chuckles.

"Understand?"he asked after a moment and you nodded.

"Y-yes"you cover your mouth as he speeds up the pace again, the sounds of skin slapping against skin fills the room along with your attempts at keeping quiet.

"Yes what?"he asked and spits directly on your clit before bringing a finger down to rub on your sensitive clit.

"M-mr park"you cried out and he slams his hips against yours, your back arching off his desk and he smiles in satisfaction.

"I'm cumming, fuck I'm gonna cum"seonghwa pulls pulls you up and holds the back of your head as he presses his lips against yours deeply, you immediately kiss him back and the kiss is sloppy.

Just downright filthy, his tongue and lips attack your own and he's clearly not holding back anymore with the way his hips collide with your own as you cry out against his lips.

His fingers holding you in place to keep you from running away from his hips and when you pull away for air your lips are swollen from his kisses.

His kisses travel lower to your neck and shoulder before he bites down on the skin , losing himself in the pleasure and not thinking about the bruises that will show up on your body the next day.

All he could think of right now was how to bring you both the best pleasure and you were loving it, especially when his lips returned to your own for a round two as you cum and he sucks on your tongue.

"Fuck"he breathes once he pulls away and pulls out of you , he presses your thighs together and pushes his cock between them.

"What are you-"you gasp as he starts to buck his hips, fucking your thighs until he's cumming all over your clothed breasts.

"Fuck, come here"he pulls you up and kisses you, your arm wrapping around his neck and he moans into the kiss before he's pushing you on the floor as he hears the door opening.

He gets on the floor as well and grabs some wipes , pretending to clean something on the floor but it's only the janitor.

"Just here for trash"the old lady said and he pulls you onto your hands and knees, you look back at him and cover your mouth as he pushes his cock back into you.

"You feel amazing"he whispered to you once he leans over you and turns your head so that you could kiss his lips.

"Did you make a mess again? Want me to clean it?"the woman asked and seonghwa perks up at that, lifting his head to look at her.

"No gloria, I can clean it up myself. Go on home and get some rest"he said as he starts to thrust into you faster but not completely, careful not to make any noise.

"It's my job mr park"she insisted but he gives her a look.

"And it's my job to make sure you're taking care of yourself, I can handle one mess for the day"he assures her, you being the mess he's handling and he could very much handle it on his own.

Actually he preferred it.

"Okay fine, have a good day sir"she gives in and he waves to her, the ever polite man he is even when he's about to be balls deep inside of you as soon as she leaves.

"You too"he called out, leaning over you and grabbing your hair before pulling your head back.

"Are you having a good day, love?"he asked you, allowing his hips to slap against your ass and make that melody he loves to hear come from your lips.

"The best"you moan and he brings a hand down to rub your clit, you moaned again.

"Oh fuck, gonna cum"you cried out and hid your face on his neck, bucking your hips against his hand.

"Cum with me"he groans softly, grabbing your arms and pounding his cock into you quickly.

It only takes a few more thrusts for the both of you to cum together, heavy pants are all that fills the room now and he pulls out of you as he hears you whimper at the feeling of his cum slipping out of you.

"Mr Park"he grabs a wet wipes and wipes you clean , before tossing it into the trash and pulling you up onto your feet.

"Yes pretty girl?"he asked and you blushed at the nickname, grabbing your shirt from him and pulling it on as he helps you put on your underwear.

"I'm sorry for storming out earlier"you said and he looks at you, the softness in his eyes returning and he smiled.

"You're forgiven"he said and helped you pull on your pants as well before turning around and putting on his own clothes.

He turned to you after a moment once he realized you weren't moving, just zoned out.

"What is it?"he asked, genuinely concerned.

Something was obviously on your mind.

"Nothing"you dismiss it and turned your attention to the door.

"I'll see you tomorrow"he said and you looked at him, nodding your head at him.

"Okay"you said and he pulled you close once more, leaving a kiss upon your lips before pulling away.

"Go"he said and you bit your bottom lip before leaving out of the door, closing it behind you and walking to your room to take a shower.

Maybe you'd like it there after all.

#ateez smut #seonghwa smut

[inourtownofhawkins]

ᴀɴʏᴏɴᴇ ʙᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ

Summary: You tell your family you're dating someone and at Christmas dinner, you panic and call the first person in your contacts.

Author’s note: The last of my Edancy fics now a Reader fic. Enjoy!

CW: Swearing, Eddie and Reader being shits to each other

Word count: 2.1k

Tagging: @reidsbtch, @lunatictardis, @battymunson

Any hate will not be tolerated, constructive criticism is welcomed.

“FUCK!” You yelled from your kitchen as you frantically tried to do five things at once. As it was your turn to host Christmas dinner, you decided to try your hand at making a traditional English roast… by yourself… and only using Google to help. You’d already burned various fingers, overcooked the Brussel sprouts twice and put sugar in the Yorkshire pudding after not quite understanding that it wasn’t actually dessert.

Long story short; you were completely fucked.

Just as things were going swimmingly, a text from your mother appeared on your phone; “Hi, sweetie; we’ll be there in 45 minutes! Can’t wait for your Christmas feast and to finally meet the boyfriend you’ve told me so much about!”

You stared at the text for several minutes before muttering a “bollocks” under your breath. You’d been so preoccupied with preparing everything for Christmas, you’d completely forgotten you’d invented a boyfriend so your parents would stop asking you when you would get one.

Your right eye twitching slightly with annoyance, you opened up your contacts and began to scroll through them. “Dated in high school, hooked up with once, married, married, therapist, I think he tried to sell me drugs once-” you stopped yourself as you looked at Eddie’s name in your contact list.

As much as you hated to admit it, you might just have to ask Eddie Munson for a favour of being your boyfriend for the afternoon. You pressed the call button on his name before rushing back into the kitchen to check on your roast turkey, it looked fine to you, but you had a sinking feeling it wasn’t going to be ready in time.

“Drugs Empire, this is Eddie speaking,” Eddie’s sarcastic and slightly bored tone came through the phone. You could hear faint clicking in the background, indicating he was in the middle of playing a video game.

“Eddie, emergency! You’re my boyfriend!”

“I-Sweetheart-” Eddie stuttered, instantly perking up while also almost falling out of his chair, “that’s a bit forward, don’t you think? I’m a bit rusty but I’ll give a quick glance at a manual.”

“No, no, you’re not actually my boyfriend.”

“Oh, that was quick. It’s a rollercoaster, this phone call.”

“Well, I need a boyfriend really quickly.”

“Well, I hope you’re nicer to the next one!”

“No, shut up! Christmas dinner, me cooking-”

“So?”

“So, I may have accidently invented a boyfriend.”

“Yeah I did that once in the Sims and there’s no easy way to get rid of them after you make them.”

“No not on the Sims! A pretend one, an imaginary one and I said he’d be coming to Christmas dinner.”

Eddie went silent for a few moments before you spoke up again, clearly defeated as you sat on your kitchen floor.

“I just need you to come for Christmas dinner, just do that for me. Just come to Christmas dinner and be my Christmas date, can you do that for me?”

From the other side of the phone, Eddie sighed as he paused his game. “Alright, fine, I’ll be there in 20 minutes. But you owe me massively for this.”

The call ended and you sprinted into the dining room to begin arranging the cutlery and crackers. You tried your best to make everything look uniform but somehow it didn’t look quite right. The decorations you’d put up weeks beforehand didn’t quite match the table set up, not that you could do much about it now.

The frown on your face was enough to kill a man stone dead until the doorbell rang, then you tried to smile. “It’s Christmas, it’s Christmas, it’s Christmas,” you whispered to yourself to try to smile but all you could muster was something akin to a grimace. Better than nothing.

You opened the door and instantly frowned again to see Eddie in front of you. “Oh, it’s you.��

“What do you mean ‘oh it’s you’? I’m your lord and saviour for this afternoon, thank you very much,” Eddie faked hurt as he pushed past you and towards the dining room.

“Sure, Eddie, just come right in,” you muttered as you slammed the door closed and jogged to keep up with him.

Stood in the dining room, the look of horror and confusion on his face was almost comical as he tried to find the words to say. “It looks like Martha Stewart threw up in here,” he finally said.

You whacked him in the stomach with your elbow. “I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that and continue walking into the kitchen.”

Without protesting, Eddie followed you into the kitchen and the look of horror and confusion returned in full force. “So, uh, what monstrosity are you cooking up in here?”

You sighed, finally ready to admit defeat. “Well, I was trying to make a traditional English roast, roast turkey with gravy, roast potatoes, carrots, parsnip, Brussel sprouts, broccoli, stuffing, and Yorkshire pudding. Then sticky toffee pudding for dessert. But it’s not going too well, as you can see.”

Eddie forced a smile, patting your shoulders. “We can fix this, sweetheart. Trust me, you got this. But first things first; what are you even listening to?”

You looked at him, confused. “It’s just some random Christmas music I found, why?”

He shook his head as he opened up Spotify on your phone, not letting you see what music he was going to select, a smile coming onto his face as he selected the choice. “This seems more like you.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Eddie, is this K-Pop?”

“Yeah, and?”

You chuckled as you checked again on the turkey. “I just didn’t picture you as the type to listen to Twice.”

“It’s to get the girls!” He raised his arms in surrender.

Shaking your head, you raised an eyebrow. “Eddie, you talk to three girls in your life on a consistent basis; one is a lesbian, one is married and the other is me. You’re not fooling anyone.”

“You want my help or not?” You didn’t answer. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. Now we gotta talk relationships; how long have you told your parents we’ve been together?”

Licking your lips, you thought for a moment. “I think I first mentioned having a boyfriend around August.”

“You’ve faked having a boyfriend for four months?!” He couldn’t help but laugh as he snuck a carrot. “I’m impressed, sweetheart. So does this mean the relationship is still in the honeymoon phase or have we passed that?”

You laughed a little. “You’re more or less asking what would piss my dad off more; knowing I’m dating you or knowing I’m dating you and we’re still very touchy-feely with each other. Although, I would still say still somewhat in the honeymoon phase.”

He grinned, giving your ass a playful smack, igniting a small yelp from you. “Perfect,” the doorbell rang before he could do anything else, much to your relief.

“I’ll get the door, you stay here and stop eating my carrots,” you gave him the side eye as you walked out.

“But they’re good!” He called back, taking one last carrot before sulking.

You opened the front door and put on your best smile for your family. “Merry Christmas!” you exclaimed before you were pulled into a hug by your mother.

“I’m so glad you arranged this, sweetheart. We’ve been looking forward to this for weeks,” she pressed a hard kiss to your cheek before walking inside, followed closely by your father, your younger brother who was glued to his phone and your little sister who handed you a candy cane before disappearing off somewhere.

You closed the door behind them and ushered them into the living room before grabbing Eddie from the kitchen. “Any pet names and touching are fine, I’ll give you two taps on your arm if it gets too much, understood?” you hissed.

“Yes, ma’am,” Eddie whispered back, forcing a smile as both of you walked into the living room.

Your forced smile was almost sickening as you looked at your family, gripping Eddie’s hand. “Everyone, this is Eddie, my boyfriend.”

The looks on your family’s faces said it all; your mother’s smile was just as forced as yours and Eddie’s, your father was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, your brother looked as if he wanted the ground to swallow him up whole and your sister just facepalmed.

Dinner wasn’t much better, with everyone sitting and eating in almost complete silence – only broken by the occasional question to pass a certain food until your mother spoke up. “So, how did you two meet?”

You almost choked on a parsnip, Eddie gently patting and rubbing your back as he chuckled softly. “Don’t worry, sweetheart, I got this. Well, we met back in August at Scoops Ahoy, of all places, she was there with Robin and Chrissy, and I walked into her and made her drop her ice cream. So of course, I bought her a new one and then we just got talking, I asked for her number, and I guess the rest is history.”

He looked at you as if you were the only thing that mattered to him, the tenderness and love in his eyes was almost believable. He smiled and pressed a gentle kiss to your cheek before going back to eating. You felt a change in your stomach, suddenly feeling somewhat regret that all this was fake. It hadn’t really dawned on you how much you missed companionship outside of friendship until you were alone with Eddie.

After the main meal was over, both you and Eddie disappeared back into the kitchen to get dessert ready. Eddie forked all the leftovers into a pot to be saved while you assembled the plates for the sticky toffee pudding, both of you not speaking to each other even though you could both feel the tension between you. But both of you being as stubborn as the other, you weren’t going to be the first to admit to anything.

“Eddie, could you get the ice cream out of the freezer? There should be a massive pot of vanilla right as you open it,” you requested, being sure to not get too sticky from the treacle.

“Of course, honey.” Eddie said almost harshly, opening the freezer and handing you the pot. You gave him a smile and instantly began plating the ice cream over the large squares of goodness, leaving one plate of just ice cream for your little sister. “Are we okay?”

You frowned slightly, nodding your head. “Yeah, we’re fine. Why would you think something’s up?”

“Because you’ve been quiet almost this whole time since your mom asked how we met.”

You slowly licked your lips, shaking your head. “I’m fine, we’re fine, I just got distracted by thinking about dessert.”

He chuckled almost bitterly, grabbing a couple of the bowls to take out. “You’re not fooling anyone, sweetheart.”

You sighed, bringing the rest of the bowls out before sitting down at the table. “I hope this goes down as well as the roast, just don’t give any to the little one because there is alcohol in this.”

Everyone laughed and tucked in, you slowly picking at your food and forcing yourself to eat. Eddie noticed your discomfort and placed a hand on your thigh, gently rubbing the inside of it with his thumb. You sat up straighter, trying to keep your composure as you gave Eddie a side glance of “what the hell do you think you’re doing?” Eddie smirked at you, feeding you a mouthful of ice cream.

Once dessert was over and your family left, the pair of you were back in your kitchen, beginning to load up the dishwasher, still not wanting to fully talk about the day’s events. Both of you could obviously feel the difference between each other; you stopped being as sarcastic to each other, and it seemed both of you wanted it to be real, but you just had to find a way to tell it to each other.

You looked at Eddie and muttered a “screw it” under your breath before grabbing him and kissing him. Eddie was taken aback for a second until he came to his senses and wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him. Both of you felt the spark, your heart’s skipping a beat and the warm glow in your stomachs.

Oh shit.

Eddie was the one to pull away from the kiss. “You’re a bitch,” he whispered against your lips.

You chuckled softly. “And you’re an asshole.”

“Can I take you out for dinner sometime, then?”

“Yeah, alright.”

#stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things fanfic #stranger things x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x reader #spilled ink

[elisysd]

Gold Rush Masterlist

Sequel to Cruel Summer (Charles Leclerc x OC), can be read independently

Prologue

1.Guess my childhood is over

2.Tonight is gonna be the loneliest

3.We are invincible, we are unstoppable

4.Vultures spinning up above for what's left of me

5.They say it's bad karma being such a heartbreaker

6.If you fail to plan, you plan to fail

7.Maybe together we can get somewhere

8.I've got memories and travel like gypsies in the night

9.Personally, I think you'd be better with somebody like me

10.Way down we go

11.That's why I'm lying to my therapist

12.You could be my luck even if the sky is falling down

13.Lately you've been searching for a darker place to hide

14.I could be so sweet if only I were naive

15.Burn, crash, romance, I’ll take what I can get from you

16.And I wanna kiss you, make you feel alright

17.I’ve been thinking way too loud, I wish that I could block me out

18.And if the storm is hitting I'll try to keep you steady

19.Ask me what I earned from all those tears

20.All I know is this could either break my heat or bring it back to life

21.Sleeping's so tough you're burning up my mind

22.It's a love story baby just say yes

23.Cause space is just a word made up by someone who's araid to get too close

24.But there's a shining in the shadows

25.I'll be there till it all feels so big, till it all feels so small

26.I’ve been feeling everything from hate to love, from love to lust, from lust to truth

27.Take the moment and taste it, you’ve got no reason to be afraid.

28.You've got a friend in me

29.Why don't you let me down, I'll let you do it again

30.Can you make it feel like home if I tell you you’re mine?

31.I know heaven’s a thing, I go there when you touch me

32.Maybe there's nothing after midnight that could make you stay

33.You're scared of love, well, aren't we all?

34.Don't get too close, it's dark inside, it's where my demons hide

35.Fear or love, baby? Don't say the answer

36.And what hurts the most is people can go from people you know to people you don't

37.Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements?

38.What am I now? What if I'm someone I don't want around?

39.And I just wanna tell you it takes everything in me not to call you

40.You know I'm afraid of change, guess that's why we stay the same

41.How long can we be a sad son 'til we were too far gone to bring back to life?

42.If to change is what you need you can change right next to me

43.I tell myself I'm good, but I'm falling apart

44.Can you keep me close? Can you love me most?

45.Lean on me when you're not strong and I'll be your friend

46.I'll be late, but I could make it all up to you

47.I wanna be better, I wanna be new but I can’t be those things next to you

48.Knew we would crash at the speed that we were going

49.You said that you needed space, go on then, astronaut

50.I trace the evidence, make it make some sense, why the wound is still bleedin'

51. Heaven knows I should let go, it’s nothing that I don’t already know

52. Where there is a flame, someone's bound to get burned

53. You’re blowing through my mind like the hurricane

54. Did some force take you because I didn't pray?

55. Take a heart and take a hand, like an ocean takes the dirty sand

56. I know you're scared and your pain is imperfect but don't you give up on yourself

57. Lately she's been dressing for revenge

58. Hold on and hope that we'll find our way back in the end

59. I don't ask for much, gimme love

60. But I promise you this I'll always look out for you

Epilogue

BONUS CHAPTERS

Our first christmas

A trip to Bali

My place is yours 

We want you to be their godparents

Double trouble

Marry me?

A bold move

My favorite enemy

It’s not you and I anymore

Not this fucking family

#writing #fiction #charles leclerc #max verstappen #charles leclerc fanfic #max verstappen fanfic #f1 story #f1 fic #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 fanfic

[not-poignant]

Im really sorry if this is too personal please ignore me if it is but i saw your post just at the right time and im just, im struggling in my twenties at the thought of possibly having did right now. And you say you "used to", can i ask how you healed?

A lot of therapy, anon.

It does tend to show up in someone's 20s, and I went the path of Internal Family Systems Therapy (also known as IFS or IFST) which is extremely useful alongside the three C's (Compassion, Communication, Co-Consciousness).

I wasn't aiming to eliminate any alters, and anyone who wanted to stay as a separate alter could, but I taught myself through the help of other/s to be self-compassionate, to open up opportunities and methods for communication (which also included art, writing, journalling, etc. in fact the very first tumblr that 'I' ever made was actually made by an alter, and was originally called artforartists - it's now renamed and run by 'me' because Dani has absorbed back into the system, but you can still go to the earliest entries and see her in them.

It took a few years and I didn't rush things. The main thing to know is that while it feels extreme, it usually comes about as a reasonable response to an unreasonable situation, and it usually becomes very manageable with self-compassion (to all yourselves), impartial judgement, open communication, compromise (i.e. if you have an alter that wants to play video games 24/7 to the point that you're losing weeks of memory, find out small areas of compromise where they can be given something in exchange for something), and sharing consciousness where possible (co-consciousness).

It's very scary at first but imho for me personally, it has been the 'easiest' of all of my diagnosed disorders to deal with. I still have severe treatment-resistant depression and I still have severe treatment-resistant PTSD/C-PTSD, but my DID went into remission after about 4 targeted years of therapy. It's now DDNOS (Dissociative Disorder Not Otherwise Specified) which means I don't have the symptoms enough to qualify for DID anymore, but I still have a system prone to dissociation / derealisation / depersonalisation and I have days where some alters are fronting a bit more than the central self, but I usually just use it as a sign that I'm really stressed and overwhelmed, rather than a sign that there's something wrong with me.

I'm extremely zen about it, tbh. And look, I didn't have the goal of 'absorbing' my alters (or them dying or w/e), I didn't set out with the idea of getting rid of it so much as learning how to live with different people who have different opinions about things in my head. But through the course of IFST and giving everyone a voice, that started to happen anyway. Healing doesn't always mean 'getting rid of alters' it mostly just means getting a handle on the memory loss (which is the most severe part of the disorder for me) and the polarisation so that it becomes regular dissonance and not so distressing it causes someone to switch. A person can be fully healed from DID and still have alters that front, if there's co-consciousness and communication for example. This was actually what I was aiming for, it just didn't end up being my outcome.

You may not be able to access therapy or IFST, and it can be hard to find DID-friendly therapists who know what they're doing, but you can actually look up and explore IFST on places like Instagram and in books like No Bad Parts and start doing the work gently already. (IFST isn't just or only for DID patients, but it is uniquely very well suited to them).

It can be very scary at first, anon, to think you might have this. Because it's a highly stigmatised and misunderstood disorder. At its root it can be understood as 'a child who didn't understand how to cope with something, at the time of personality formation, just developed a new personality to deal with it. But as a result of this, their brain got so good at developing new personalities that it became a maladapted coping strategy, and as an adult they can learn ways to cope that aren't splitting, switching, or losing memory with compassion and self-understanding.'

And honestly we all have a lot of maladapted coping mechanisms and the whole journey of life is learning to unpack them, and repack some healthier coping mechanisms into the lunchbox. And that's really about it. Still very scary and upsetting to go through, but also not a mysterious, "insane" thing. <3333 If you can reach out for help, please consider it, but otherwise do look into IFST. I started working on those strategies long before I found a suitable therapist and I honestly feel like just the mindset of radical self-acceptance and self-compromise and self-compassion was - while extremely hard to do often - the key for me, and some of those things will at the very least be helpful for you.

#asks and answers #personal #there's a lot more resources now for DID than their used to be #but there's also a lot more self-exploitation for likes and clout #just admitting you're worried something dissociative might be going on #is very brave and you're already on the path to healing anon #even though it doesn't feel like it yet

[theaspen]

summary : Jay seems to keep appearing in your alternate nightmares. He acts as your night in shining armor, always helping you in your sleep. But when you try to stop the nightmares altogether he doesn't like it.

Genre : Thriller, angst.

pairing : Jay x you

Warnings: Graphic descriptions of blood, death and suicide. If you are sensitive to these subjects please don't read!!

___________________________________________

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

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Authors note: It's honestly SO embarrassing that I'm posting this now LMAOAOAOA.

Uhm. I'm sorry. I hope you guys enjoy and leave some nice comments or feedback or anything tbh. And send me an ask, or comment below to be added to the tag list.

____________________________________________

Are you sure?” My uncle asks sceptically.

“Yes I'm sure.” I tell him firmly. 

This is the 10th time he's asked me this question today alone. What's a therapist gonna do? Besides, I'm sick of him pretending to care. 

“Uncle, I'm not really sure why you're so insistent on this. Is it because the press is outside? They want to interview you?”

It's a sharp dig at him and I know it. He's never cared about his own brother, never visited.

He scowls at me, “Careful, might I have to remind you that it isn't your father that's taking care of you, putting you in the best room with the best doctors.”

I glare at him as he walks away from the room. Well atleast the pathetic nice act is gone. 

Kyungsoo enters my room soon again, throwing a careful glance at my uncle. He was a big shot after all. With his more than successful firm.

“You good?” He asks.

“Yeah, um I think I'll just go for a walk.” I tell him rather shortly.

“Sure.” He says quietly, probably assuming I had an argument.

But truth be told, I'm avoiding him. I'm getting attached to someone who's just tolerating me for their job. It's not his fault I know but I can't get attached to those who won't stay once I'm up and gone. 

My mind goes to Jay for a tiny second. Hm. Maybe I should talk to a therapist. The dreams stopped for two days and usually I would be overjoyed at the idea of not just one but two full nights rest.

But I woke up feeling uneasy, I made a promise to Jay, someone who exists only in my head. But I made a promise nevertheless. 

There are so many things I want to ask him, so many. 

Why do I have no dreams? Why is it that I only ever have a blackout or nightmares?

Why is he saving me? 

I know I shouldn't, but my curiosity has gotten the better of me. I look down at my fisted hands and open them. There are two sleeping pills, I stole it from a nurse's bag when she wasn't looking. 

Sleeping pills and I aren't the best of friends. Sure they help me not have a meltdown from not being able to sleep for almost 20 hours but they also give me the worst types of nightmares.   Which right now happens to be something that I need. 

“Goodnight.”Kyungsoo tries to smile at me.

I meekly smile back , eager to down the pills and meet the one person who actually wants me to stay.

_________________________________________

The pills go down my throat ten minutes later. The small light creates a shadow of me in front.  The shadows shift, turning and twisting and I watch fascinated as they give a performance for me. 

I'm not afraid, a part of my brain thinks. What are the shadows going to do? They've been with me forever. Taunting me, trying to manipulate me. I've never given into any of their tricks. I've never trusted them. 

But when I'm all alone now, in a tiny closet peeking out from the hole and watching the shadows linger my heart picks up its beat. 

They come and they disappear again and again. I look through the tiny peep the closet gives and realise soon as they go behind every nook and creek that they are looking for none other than me. 

 

My hands reach out to clasp my mouth shut. My body folds itself as small as it can possibly go. Will the shadows think to look here too?

I shut my eyes forcefully. My other senses heightened until I could feel everything around me. The musty smell of the closet, my fingernails digging into themselves.  My feet numb, paralyzed. 

My breathing becomes slower, my arms start to unclench. I think they're gone. I think I can get out now. Escape to a place where they can't catch me. 

Before I know it, before I can even pull my hands away from myself. There's a strange hiss that comes inches away from me. A hand grabs my ankle and pulls me hard enough that I don't have time to scream. 

My head bangs against the hard wooden doors as I'm being pulled away. The impact is so hard that I can only clutch my head and groan as the hands keep pulling me away, dragging me on the rough wooden floors.

The splinters catch on clothes and skin. My chin is bleeding, but I can't even stop. Can't even catch a hold of myself as I try to catch myself breathlessly.  

There's a sharp turn to the right, and that's when I know that the shadows aren't just pulling me along aimlessly , they have a destination in mind. 

My eyes scan around desperately trying to catch hold of something to stop. 

Just then, a hand- a solid, real and warm hand catches me. A sudden stop to the journey. 

I know who it is before I can even look up. I clasp my hands with his. The shadows aren't pleased, they hiss and linger around My ankles. 

But when his hand keeps tugging me in, the shadows start to dissolve, materialise into nothing, losing their power. 

Jay's hands pull me again, even when the shadows disappear, he doesn't let go and I don't either.

When I gain a little strength into my limbs I finally pull away from the embrace. I look into his eyes, they are wide and scared, maybe even more than mine.

“Thank yo-”

“Why didn't you come?? You made a promise and you leave me all alone here?!” Jay yells angrily.

I pull away completely.  I was happy to finally see him again, but seeing his bloodshot face. The look of absolute rage in his eyes makes me stop. Brings the familiar uneasy feeling back into my stomach. 

“I'm sorry.” I mumble.

Jay looks at my crestfallen face, and immediately his face softens. 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn't have yelled at you. I was just scared you left forever.” He says softly, “You're hurt a lot this time. Come here, let's clean you up.” 

He rips off a piece of his sleeves and starts dabbing it on my wounds.

His reassuring words don't chase away the moths in my stomach. 

“Jay..do you think I should see a therapist?”

Jay frowns at my words, “A therapist? What's that?” He asks curiously. 

“Umm. It's someone who helps you with your problems, like stress, anxiety…nightmares.”

Jay stiffens upon that. His hand paused on my chin. 

“But why…? I can save you. I save you every time.”

I shake my head,

“I can save you again, you won't even have to get hurt next time. Just trust me. That's all you need to do!”

I take his hands in mine, his eyes are trembling, 

“What happens when you can't?”

“..what”

“What happens when one day you can't save me? I can wake up, but what about you? What if something happens to you instead?” 

He shakes his head intently, “I don't care, I only exist because of you. If you're gone, then I'm alone again, I have no purpose.”

I stay silent at that, avoiding his eyes. 

The world around me seems to shift again, faster than it did before. 

“I think I'm waking up now.”

“Yeah.”

“Can't you…can't you appear in my dreams too? Not just nightmares?”

“I don't know.”

I can feel my resolve slipping at the sight of his tired face. He looks my age, but at this moment his face seems to have gone through a millenia worth of sadness. 

“I'll come back okay?” 

Jay just nodded. His fingers slip away from mine as he watches me disappear again. I never stay for long. He wonders whether it's because I can't or I don't want to. 

Jay fidgets with his fingers even after I'm gone. 

He thinks long and hard about how he could make me stay. Every time I've left, it's only because he saved me.

What happens when he makes me believe that she can't escape the nightmare anymore? 

________________________________________

Taglist : @sunjaylove @ryejigyu @keikeu

@excusemeimquirky @lollllllliiiiiiiiiiiipop

#jake #jay #enhypen fluff #enhypen angst #sunoo #jay enhypen #enhypen headcannons #Sunghoon #Heesung #Niki #enhypen oneshots #enhypen drabbles #enhypen fanfic #enhypen fantasy #enhypen smau #enhypen social media au #Jay oneshot #jay scenarios #enha x reader #enha #enhypen scenarios #Enhypen cute #enhypen thriller #horror prompts #enhypen vampire au

[araaaa-bella]

Evan Peters x Fem!Reader

Warnings: sad, sensitive topics, self-harm, depression, death of a close family member, anxiety attacks, suicide.

Evan's age: 20 years old.

Bella's age (y/n): 19 years old.

There you were again, hugging your knees in the corner of your room with tears running down your eyes and holding some pretty sharp scissors. Supposedly, according to her therapist, her panic attacks and anxiety would go away if she took her pills, but it only seemed to make them worse. Those little pills made you feel like you were in control, and by not taking them you lost control and didn't know what to do, which always ended with blood on your arms and a girl with very swollen red eyes. You were weak, as this time the cuts were deep and you were losing blood, but you still had the strength to pick up the phone and make a call, you had to call your boyfriend as he knew how to calm you down.

“Evan please answer” you said to yourself with the phone in your hand and blood running down your wrists. “Come on, answer it “ you said and started crying again. A tired voice answered the call.

“Sweetie? What's going on? It's 2:30 am” he said making some small complaints -It seems that I woke him up-.

“Mhhh, I... I'm sorry I shouldn't have called you right now” you said and were ready to end the conversation there, but he spoke again.

“Come on, tell me what happened, It's not normal for you to call me at this time of the morning, are you okay?”

“I don't know what to do” you blurted out and started crying. “I know you always tell me to be strong but I can't stand it, I don't want to be here, you are my only reason to live and I feel like I can't bear all this weight anymore” you said crying harder and harder.

“...” There was a silence.

“Evan?" Are you on the call?”

“Don't tell me you did it again” he said coldly, you didn't answer anything. “I'll go to your house” he said and ended the call.

Less than 10 minutes passed and there was a knock on the door.

“Bella! Open the door please!” Evan wasn't lying when he said he was coming. “Bella, please open me up, I'm worried about you!” You tripped down the stairs, you were bleeding to death. You were very unstable mentally and physically and you wouldn't have more than 10 minutes if you weren't rushed to the hospital. You went downstairs and opened the door for your boyfriend.

“…” He stared at you. “Bella, my God” he said, looking at your arms. “Please, not again” he said and grabbed your arm to lead you to your room.

He went up angry, it wasn't the first time you called him and told him that. He got mad every time he saw those stupid bloody scissors and your bruised wrists, he knew all the problems you had and he helped you through them, but you didn't help much. Going upstairs, he pulled out some bandages and began wrapping them around your forearms.

“Linda... why are you doing this?” He said in a depressed way, he hated having to go to your house to heal you. Shedding a couple of tears, she grabbed her phone and called an ambulance, she had lost too much blood.

“I don't know… I feel like I'm getting worse and worse, I can't get over my mother, my father hates me and I don't have friends, you're the only thing I have left” you said letting some tears fall.

Your mother committed suicide when you were 5 years old because your father was unfaithful to her and she couldn't bear that pain. After what happened with your mother, your father became a fucking alcoholic, drug addict and abuser, he could never touch you but he hit you a lot. Every time he came home from "work" he beat you to death then drank 6 cans of beer and passed out you had to take responsibility for a long time but then you stopped caring and stopped caring about him to worry about the. its. Your mental health got worse and you stopped eating, Evan helped you with everything, he made you eat again and you worried about your health, but you always fell down.

“Honey, just promise me something... don't leave me, I don't know what I would do without you” Evan said making your eyes sparkle.

“I don't know if I'll last a little longer” you said sleepily, your vision blurring -oh no, not this-.

“Bella, hey, don't fall asleep” Evan said, shaking your shoulders. “Hey! Don't fall asleep please! The ambulance will arrive!” he yelled but it was useless, you were no longer with him. “Bella please answer me! I need you with me!” Evan hugged you and cried, he cried a lot, the love of his life had abandoned him.

He was clear about what was going through your mind, but he never thought about what would happen if you were no longer with him. He took you in his arms when he heard noise outside, the ambulances had arrived. Still hoping you might survive, he took you to the first floor as best he could and opened the door, letting the paramedics put you on a stretcher and try to revive you, but all that effort was useless, you had already bled to death.

“Sorry boy, there's nothing we can do, she lost too much blood” the paramedic told Evan.

“No… please, try something else, I know something else could work” replied the totally devastated boy.

“Sorry, there's nothing we can do” he said again, causing Evan to fall to his knees on the floor as he cried.

“Why! Why Bella? Why did you have to leave me?!” Evan told himself as he cried harder and harder.

He felt empty, as if finally he was absolutely nothing. The person he loved so much showed that he didn't care how he would feel without the other's presence.

#evan peters #tate langdon #american horror story #ahs fandom #writers on tumblr #oneshots #evan peters x reader #evan peters x y/n #fanfic #ahs fanfic #tate x reader #sad fanfiction #sad fic #oneshot #tate ahs #tate and violet #fem reader

[sanjisblackasswife]

If You're Smart You'd Read This:

I’m in my 20’s.

I write adult shit so children shouldn’t be interacting with me or my posts.

Blank pages /Ageless pages /Minors get blocked. Like 90% of the shit i post is not suitable for yall lmao.

Don’t ask me for tips/advice on anything such as art, your writing, anything. Google it. Thats what I did.

I speak my opinion. And if you don’t agree idc.

It’s very easy to be blocked by me. So don’t try out the theory of it.

YOU CANNOT BE ANONYMOUS WHEN REQUESTING ONLY NSFW If you want a nsfw request you have to unanon yourself so i can see ur age in ur bio.

Do not ask me super personal questions.

Do not ask me why I will or wont do something.

Do not be annoying and send long mf hcs in my ask. It’ll get deleted.

Do not try and keep having a whole convo w me in my ask (unless ur my mutual) esp. if u anon.

Speaking of Mutuals. I have mutual bias. So theres some things I let them do/say to me that my followers cant.

I will not write: Piss play, rape, incest, furry stuff, Alpha/Omega verse, pet play🧍🏾‍♀️ and will ABSOLUTELY NOT write anything blasphemous about God or other religions

Please only use my ask box for request or genuine questions

I don’t do emergency request

I do not write catgirl or catboy stuff or anything w furries ig (all humans only)

I will write for other fandoms besides One Piece! An example (but not limited to): Jujustu Kaisen, Naruto, Fire Force, Gangsta, etc

Speaking of One Piece my page does contain MAJOR spoilers (ill try to put warnings if i can)

I mostly write for POC/Black Fem Readers but it’s not limited most of the time. Any girl can read.

If you request something please give me time :( I can only write so much in a day.

I hate like 99% of ships people have made in all fandoms so please don’t tell me yours, and if you ask me opinions on them I will be brutally honest with it.

I do not tolerate any form of racism, bullying, or homophobia here. It’s annoying go away.

I also don’t gaf if you don’t agree with my HC…I just…bro go write em yourself I’m not writing these for you.

Please don’t trauma dump on me…just don’t I’m not a therapist.

If you want something specific BE SPECIFIC

I don’t really care for dark content(?) I’m not really sure what it is exactly it is (because I’m stupid) so if your request dark content lmk and if I feel uncomfortable with it ill decline lol

I will NOT Write NSFW for characters like Chopper, Brook, etc

I will NOT Write for demons like Sukuna or characters from Obey Me

If your share repost/blog my writing please give credit!

I really only write female x male NSFW. (I will however write fxf or mxm platonically) That’s just personal preference and what I feel best writing :) please respect that decision.

I don’t do character x character writing unless it’s canon (…or if it’s eren and Mikasa i—)

I do NOT age up characters for nsfw writing. If they’re not canonically already an adult or have a pre timeskip I’m not doing that. I’ll do SFW ones though!

I do have to right to not write for a character I just simply don’t like so don’t get mad if I don’t.

Remember: this is mf FAN FICTION writing. Just a bunch of ideas I have in my weird head so if u don’t like or agree with it dip.

I’ll keep this rule list updated (ill reblog when i update the list) when I can if new stuff comes up. I’m relatively new on here so bare with me :(

#rules #read it dammit

[my-castles-crumbling]

hi okay you said it’s okay to rant to you so here’s mine: being a lesbian is so lonely and isolating. I’m in my mid 20s and I’ve maybe met two lesbians in my entire life and have never been in a relationship with a woman. (I have dated some men bec I didn’t realize I was queer till senior yr of hs, although it’s so obviously to me now) I have never had a group of queer people to hang out with and I am always the only queer person in a room. I have some good (straight) friends but I see and interact with the world so differently so it’s hard feeling close to them. I basically have to be a straight person around them or talk about being a lesbian and watch them have no idea what to say. I just can’t imagine telling a straight person “hey what if you were in your mid 20s and had never even had a full length conversation with a straight person”.

With the internet (or parts of it) being so openly queer now I feel so behind and stupid for not having found this perfect gay friend group or even having a girlfriend. It just feels like every queer person has got those things and that I’ve somehow done something wrong because I haven’t. And I’m worried it will only get harder to make friends as I get older. I wish I didn’t feel so lonely. I wish I wasn’t the only lesbian in every room I have ever been in. I wish I had someone in my life (friend or girlfriend) who truly saw and understood me. (I also wish more therapists were lesbians, but that’s another rant)

Thank you so much for listening. Your blog is such a wonderful, safe space and I enjoy your writing immensely . <3 have a great rest of your day!

Hi love!

First of all, this feeling of being lonely and isolated is completely valid and unfortunately all too normal. There are so many parts of the world that are lacking in queer spaces.

Please know, NOT every queer person has a perfect gay friend group and a significant other. There are SO MANY people who feel like you do- I've talked to many of them here! You are not stupid or behind at all!

If you can be safe and do so, here are some suggestions if you're in the mental space and want them:

If you live near a city, try to see if there are queer spaces there. Queer spaces are more common in cities. Things like gay bars, drag shows, and cafes advertised as queer-safe.

If you like near a city that does so (and again, if it is safe to do so) try attending a pride event. Even if you go my yourself, I promise you will make friends. Last year at pride the group I went with actually grabbed like three or four people who had been there by themselves and just added them to our group!

Try online friend and dating apps. If you feel safe putting on your profile that you're queer, you'll probably find people in your area who are also queer!

Continue to talk to people online. I promise, there are so many people feeling the same way as you, and even though it's not the same as finding people in person, a community in any way is still so helpful.

You have a lot of people on here that are here for you (myself included) and you are NOT alone <3

#ask #asks #ask cas #queer pride #queer community #queer #lgbtqia #lgbtq community

[youremyheaven]

Omg I saw your moon dominance post and I have to share something 😭

I have a friend whom I went to the same school as, we still talk sometimes but not as much.

She has always been quite a charismatic person, and is a relatively small built, conventionally attractive blonde white girl. Needless to say she is considered quite “soft and feminine” - I only mention race because racism would naturally prevent her being perceived that way.

I like her, she’s very diplomatic and intelligent but MY GOD the manipulative tendencies she had growing up😭😭😭

It’s been a couple years since I was regularly in close proximity to her so I can’t remember that many examples of her lying (also because it was a such a common occurance), however I remember it getting to the point where she herself would awkwardly joke about it.

What I *do* however remember quite distinctly the way she’d occasionally have these “tantrums” after I gave her any mild criticism.

For example, one time we were all having lunch together as a group and she made a mean spirited comment on someone else who was nearby. I pointed out that is was a pretty mean thing to say, not in a particularly accusatory tone, and she quite literally started shouting at me saying “WELL THATS QUITE BIG OF YOU TO SAY BC YOU TOLD ME [insert minor joke about manipulative Snapchat fboys that therefore was nothing to do with her] AND IT REALLY UPSET ME [insert sob story about having a disabled brother] etc etc”

She also had a similar public outrage at me after I asked her if she brought her present in for the Secret Santa, and she responded by kicking me in the shins and going on a tangent about how her life is really stressful and how I only worry about “school and sleep” 💀

However the interesting part that I vaguely covered at the beginning is that she had mastered the whole sweet innocent teenage facade. She had people, primarily older men in authority, entirely wrapped around her finger. She developed this oddly close relationship relationship with one of our teachers, which never got inappropriate, but he would direct like 80% of his energy to helping her over other students (who were equally if not more needing of help). Similarly her therapist literally UNRETIRED to help her personally 😭 I can think of so many examples of authority figures literally bending over backwards to be of service to her.

(She also attracted a kind of unreal level of male attention that was way above the average)

To finally conclude:

She is a hasta sun, moon and ketu with PBP ascendant. Her birthtime isn’t exact but I feel as though PBP is more likely than UBP.

There was also an incident of her sleeping with a teacher in his 20s when she was 17 😬 obviously it’s on him, but it’s interesting to consider that she has Jupiter in the 9H in Chitra (mars) - aswell as a mercury chitra which sits in her 4 planet 8H stellium.

Sorry for this extremely lengthy ask😭 it’s more of an info dump than an ask but I hope it served as an interesting example of moon dominance (+ a little bit of mars influence) in women

bestie never apologise for spilling tea 😂i love reading what ya'll have to say, otherwise i feel like im talking to a wall. and i feel you about this moon bestie of yours, im glad you're out of that toxic friendship!!

a few years ago i had a toxic moon dominant bestie who like you said lied so much and manipulated things so much, its hard for me to even make a list of the shit she did lol, yk how a lot of poc parents will whip their kids or yell at them or something and afterwards act extra nice bc they feel guilty?? I've noticed that Moon dominant people are like that to some extent. my "friend" would say the nastiest most vile derogatory things about me TO ME and then when i responded with radio silence she'd be all 🥺🥺im so worried about you, have you eaten? have you done all the assignments?? here's mine, you can refer to it🥺🥺,, like i was always sooo confused by her but then i started seeing thru her bullshit, how she's only being nice cause she feels guilty lol,, she had a tendency to criticize other people A LOT like your friend and honestly its tiring to listen to that shit, so i think i started saying nice things in return like "oh but xyz is so sweet, she's always so thoughtful" and then she'd say some shit "its so crazy you'd say that because i felt like xyz and abc always hated you" like classic manipulation lmao, like she hates those ppl and if i say one nice thing about them, then she'll try to convince me that those people hate me so that i can be on her side in bitching about them lmfao.

Moon dominant people are soooo insecure its sad,, they feel the need to be so rude and nasty af to others to mask their own insecurities. Obviously I'm only talking about unhealthy Moon influence, im sure there are nice ppl out there as well.

u guys pls feel free to dump any gossip/tea u have in my inbox, i love reading this stuff!!

#moon #jyotish