I’ve woken today feeling absolutely so sad. So confused. So lonely. My night sleep was absolutely crap. My mind is filling with thoughts analysing every part of my life. Is this what I want. Are my friends, my friends? Doors my girl even want me. Yet again I’m writing this cos I can’t even go to my own friends. Because the truth is no one cares unless it’s gossip. You keep doing you and only put yourself first. I wish I had somebody there yano just to tell me everything will be okay :( I hate it here. My mind is so dark. I just need a friend :(
Normal people: “What a bummer, it’s summer but it’s raining :(”
Me: “Fucking FINALLY!”
I hate being irrationally terrified of doing things wrong because it’s like
Rational thought: “So, we like doing a thing, right?”
Irrational fear: “Right”
Rational thought: “And we objectively know we’re likely not the best nor the worst in the world at it, right?”
Irrational fear: “Right”
Rational thought: “So, what do we do if we make a mistake or someone gently points out a way we can improve?”
Irrational fear: “We pray for death.”
I hear birds chirping outside and idk whether to count it as morning or go to sleep like a normal human being
Currently writing down notes for the assassin AU and thinking up designs when I should seriously be asleep
It’s 2020 and Tumblr is still a thing
WHAT IF SNATCHER WORKED AS AN ASSASSIN-
Been feeling like I just wanna stop everything be alone in a space I can just break apart. No one will have to worry and I can pretend to be fine after.
“I fear my loneliness will make me fall back into a dark place.”
I think I love the rain cause you can hear the sound of it falling as if to reassure you that theres no one outside and it safe to just be.
When people tell me about all that’s wrong with my look I get upset…like yes I understand I’m not actually pretty but don’t remind me
I already get grossed out with myself enough
Yall, I need to rant real quick!!!!!!
Okay, so I’ve been hella crazy for a whole while now. And just about all of it is fucking amazing thanks to this incredible woman I’ve been talking and seeing for over 3 months now. Cheesy enough, but we met here. And I get to finally see her in a couple months. July to be exact. And I can not fucking word how happy and excited I am for this! Shes my everything. And I can not wait to see her and be with her and just fucking AHHH YALL AHHHHHH
Shes currently just sleeping on video call (we are always on call whenever we arent working or busy) while I bought my plane ticket, shes been hella busy with work and shit. But just curling up with her at night is so fucking amazing. I’m so god damn happy. Shes incredible and I can not get enough of her being in my life.
Can someone put biology knowledge into my brain?
Nobody is born ugly, it’s society standards that decide what “beauty” is.. everybody is unique and beautiful in their own way. And please remember this Quraan verse “لقد خلقنا الانسان في احسن تقويم”
Sometimes I feel myself crumbling under the weight of existence, just being a person as I like to say. Sometimes, it’s so hard and I cannot tell you why. I feel myself spiraling out of control and it’s annoyingly sad how I can’t make myself do better.
There’s a process to feeling, and there’s a blur between the days and the weeks but the sunshine usually peaks through at some point. I feel the anger and the distaste for the everyday things, freedom comes in many forms and I am not.
Am I not your type at all or are you just scared that I might hurt you ?
if you see an injustice happening in the world and you make the active choice to not speak up and/or spread awareness about it, that’s a privilege in itself
Sometimee, you just gotta learn the hard and painful way….. 😔
I got to appreciate my damn self at this point. Can’t expect that from no one else.