#my whole body feels like that

[oars]

#i feel like tge fact im apprehensive about posting this is kinda proving my point #the way everyone talks about both weight gain and weight loss is just horrendous #like idek if i could fit all i wanna say in here especially while im at work but #i so badly wish people could be normal about weight gain and talking about it #its like if youre not in some constant state of wanting to lose weight people want to kill you #god forbid you want to put on weight to feel more comfortable in your body outside of muscles and a butt #fatphobia is a given thats a whole other few paragraphs #im grateful i have mutuals and friends who are normal but ill have or hear these convos and go #ok i feel sick. why do i feel this way why do you feel that way. #anyways i think fatphobia is one of the worst things to ever happen

[asleep-kat]

Mentor & his successor

#lmk wukong #lmk fanart #lmk mk #lmk sun wukong #lmk monkie king #monkie kid #lego monkie kid #art #digital art #fanart #my art #digitalart #lego monkie kid fanart #monkie kid fanart #sunburst duo #I feel like some people tend to forget that both of them can draw #also there's like a butt load of similarities between SWK and MK: like their personalities; body movement/quirks; hobbies; and delivery job #AND ALSO THE WHOLE REVELATION ABOUT MK'S BACKSTORY #I've connected the dots. ''you didn't connect shit.'' I've connected them. #I wanted to make it look like Wukong is drawing MK and MK drawing Monkie king in return

[fumifooms]

Homegrown

Thistle and Delgal - Dungeon Meshi, Ryoko Kui

^ Fernando Pessoa / Killing Flies, Michael Dickman / A Brother Named Gethsemane, Natalie Diaz / Antigonick, Anne Carson v Oats We Sow, Gregory and the Hawk

#Dungeon meshi #spoilers #dungeon meshi manga spoilers #thistle #sissel #thistle dungeon meshi #web weaving #web weave #Just in case for sake of transparency: in the ‘what a relief everyone’s safe’ panel I erased a bit of dialogue he originally said #‘What a relief everyone’s BODY IS safe’ #But yk. Delusions angst. Dinner table Thistle imagery you are famous to me #delicious in dungeon #Umm go check out my Thistle & Falin fic on ao3 called Slivers maybe idk #Sometimes it does feel like Thistle has an age regression through the manga it’s interesting. Kui what were you cooking #I am a firm believer that Thistle’s an adult and that that doesn’t take anything away from his narrative tho. #He’s the older brother here & that’s the whole point. God dunmeshi family narratives I love youuu #Thistles are a weed… Idk the garden theme for him works great imo. Make that dungeoneum manage that kingdom like an ecosystem

[puppyeared]

Big cat

#ft my poorly drawn monstera leaves for vibe #I was thinking abt shinx and luxray like. I know theyre supposed to be lions but I feel like cheetah or serval would work well too #like with electricity and stuff. wouldnt speed and agility make more sense for an electric type? esp a cat shaped electric type? #maybe it would be ok for luxray to be heavy built because itd be really big by then. but I thought hey it would be cool if its preevolutions #could focus on speed for escaping. escaping and hunting yknow #maybe this is just because I watched a cheetah documentary last night and thought they were cool #I also have a hc that luxray can charge up electricity and make its whole body glow like an x ray #like you can see it’s bones through the blue parts of skin. either as a threat display or courtship #the shinier and bluer the fur is the better you can see the bones. which would mean its feeding itself well #but Im not a biology expert Im just using what I learned from birds LOL #so sososo normal abt luxray line (is my favorite pokemon) #my art #myart #pokemon #illustration #shinx #Luxio #luxray #luxray line

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

WAKE UP!

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #lan wangji #wei wuxian #I tried *so* hard to draw deflated wwx (per the reference to the garfield comic) but I could not get figure it out. #Yes lwj is straddling wwx. He's been shaking him this whole time. #LWJ has also been shaking. Like a nervous little dog. #What else is he to do when the love of his life collapses in front of him? #I also like to imagine that going through the nightmarish empathy showed on wwx's real body too. As in - he was thrashing about. #I am fond of my headcanon that wwx kicks and yells in his sleep and lwj is just getting a preview of it. #And oh my god. Am I ever a fan of accidental bonks (in fiction. I feel immense guilt for them in reality) #I'm really excited for several comics coming up. One in particular I have been building up to for *months*. #Sorry I've been mysteriously absent for a lot of November...I will do my best to be more consistent this December! #Thank you all for your support. Take care and stay healthy <3

[katabay]

original thief series basso & garrett :)

ngl, it's about quality over quantity for me. an npc can have a total of three minutes of screen time, but if they have a cool name, they can live rent free in my head and I'll spend several hours trying to decipher drawable features from a blurry screenshot of pixels

there is a vague hint of a story here, and that's because every time I try to play thi4f, I get incredibly frustrated with how Not Fun the game play is. like, is the story good? well. but it has a PLAGUE. that should've given it instant 'I'll replay this once a year' status in my heart, but the game play sucks so bad that I've never finished it. I can't believe Not Fun gameplay beat out my obsession with narrative plagues.

anyway, the idea is basically if the original era had a game with a plague centric narrative and some other stuff I liked out of thi4f thrown into a narrative blender, with a heavy dash of horror thrown in because some parts of the thief games were scarier to me than entire dedicated horror genre games.

⭐ places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app

#if i had a laptop and the skillset i would attempt a story mod because the thief modders who create whole mission stories #are GENIUS and also somewhat terrifying. love them! xoxox #anyway im actually kind of obsessed with parts of thi4f but its also like. not at that sweet spot of almost good enough to be fun #to talk about. which. for the record. has not stopped me from talking about it at length to people #the city itself actually fucking fascinates me. its almost alive and im SO mad that not a single part of that game is actually terrifying #it should be gnarlier and instead it feels a bit like it doesn't quite want to be trapped in the story it has to tell? #but between the level that has the bodies on the meathooks #and the scene with the bodies hanging from the rafters or whatever that was and garrett living in a clock tower #because the game is very much ALMOST about changing times and authoritarian violence and capitalism #(like. by virtue of how the story sort of spins out i think it misses it's mark on a lot of stuff here #in the sense that i dont feel like it actually wants to tell that story. it wants to. go in a different direction. or at least walk on top #of those themes instead of through it) #ANYWAY between all of those things. it does kind of live in my head rent free. they did create a compelling setting #SHAME THEY DIDNT WANT TO ACTUALLY EAT ANY OF IT #unrelated but i would've given thi4f a 10/10 if they kept garrett's fucking nail polish from the concept art. cowards. unforgivable #thief the dark project #i still have no idea how to tag the game series as a whole RIP #sorry for the dedicated dark project fans. if you know what the general series tag is. please let me know #garrett thief #basso thief

[yardsards]

trans men who wear feminine clothing (because fuck the idea that men have to dress a certain way to be "real men") 🤝 trans men who refuse to wear feminine clothing (because fuck everyone who's been trying to force you to tone down your masculinity and "accept" being feminine your whole life):

being so strong and rad as hell and not needing to change a single damned thing about their gender presentation

#eliot posts #trans #trans men #ive been calling my gender ''nonbinary trans man'' lately #idk how to explain it but it feels like it Fits the whole Situation i got goin on? #i fall primarily into the second categary but with light dabbling in the first. like a slight fem flair to otherwise masc outfits #i might start wearing dresses again after i start hrt? but right now the way they make my body look makes me dysphoric #don't think i'll ever wear makeup though #it was something i refused even before i realized i was cisn't and was trying so hard to feel like a ''real girl'' #and i just dug my heels in harder about as people tried to pressure me into it

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

some Friendly Maintenance scribbles i forgot to post!

#(the paint he's touchin up home with is the wrong color <3 neither of them can tell <3) #but yeah yayyyyyy stitchin up friends! woohoo! #i would like to state! in this au the puppets Do Not Feel Pain the way we do! #at worst its like... intense pins & needles + sorta nausea + static but a Physical Feeling etc etc #its deeply uncomfortable and feels really fucking weird! but not painful! #but for a puppet who's never really experienced it... they may react the same as a person would to pain #is this based off of my lil theory that in canon they Do Not Feel Pain At All? yeah lol #but anyway! patchin up friends is a love language! #scribble salad #wh lights out au #tw stitches #tw body horror #(mild but i think it counts) #(also for anyone wondering - howdy had a close call with sally. he got slashed! hes fine!) #(wally just has to kinda... shove the stuffing back in and then sew the gash shut. easy slices!) #(putting the stuffing back in is the worst part. it feels... not great! like i said - not painful - but not great at all!) #(howdy is employing all of his willpower to stay put and not scramble away from the unpleasant sensation!) #i have this whole mental Mechanic for what certain things feel like when it comes to maintenance on the puppets #like reattaching limbs or stuffing falling out etc #ALSO RARE TWO-EYED WALLY CAMEO 🚨 #oh and #RARE AWAKE BARNABY CAMEO 🚨🚨 #(just his arm but yk. hes up!) #(and they saved a large candle for the occasion of reattaching his arm!) #(wally is so happy...)

[hel7l7]

I still don't ever feel like I'm good enough

#this is actually not about my body #just like my whole #being #not like my physical look #bcs #idk #it's just what I look like and I can fight my appearance but that will only take away the quality of my life #i'm good when i can live my life the way i want to and be healthy #but i feel like i'm not good enough as a person #as who i am as a soul #my body has actually very little to do with it aside from the fact that she carries my soul #also #i don't really look like the drawing so #whatever #body tw #not ed

[carolperkinsexgirlfriend]

Steddie Upside-Down AU Part 77

Part 1 Part 76

He’s growing – Steve can feel it eating away at the pathways in his brain. He can almost feel the way the connections drop, making way from something else, something more. It’s like he wants Steve to be able to see the paths he’s carving out of his brain so he can.

They’re dark, and winding, and there’s nothing in there at all. Steve’s being hollowed out, for a holy purpose he can’t quite grasp, but he can feel it, coiled cold and hard in the back of his skull, waiting to give him his own divine prophecy. When the time’s right. 

But the time’s not right, and he’s lost in the tunnels of his mind, winding fast, fast, fast through corridors he doesn’t recognize. 

It’s like, double vision. He’s looking at Eddie sitting beside him, twirling his frizzy hair in front of his mouth, but it’s dark, too, and the tunnels are winding. Winding, and empty until they’re not.

It’s not until he sees the man that Steve wonders if he’s looking at something internal at all. Because there’s a man he doesn’t recognize walking inside them. He watches him stumble, he watches him fall. 

Steve doesn’t recognize the man. But, still. Something twists inside as he watches him collapse, He’s supposed to collapse. Steve knows, he can feel it.

But there’s still something pulling in his sternum. He can feel it, sometimes, when Eddie’s looking at him with big, sad eyes. He wants to wring the sadness straight out of him but can’t – he doesn’t know what’s wrong. 

“Something’s wrong.” he says, but he’s not sure if he means the man or the look in Eddie’s eyes, or the way he’s not sure where he is right now.

“What is it, honey?” 

The woman who says it looks frazzled from where she’s kneeling in front of him. He doesn’t know her, but she’s holding Will’s hand. He looks at Will, and his eyes match hers – both wide and worried and trained on him.

“There’s a man,” he says. There are vines circling the man’s wrists, legs, trailing up his neck. Steve rubs his own throat, esophagus convulsing in sympathy pain. And just for a second, there’s a flicker of that same man smiling down at him, settling something over his face, letting him breathe. 

“Where?” the woman asks, at the same moment Eddie asks, “who?” and reaches out his burning palm to clutch Steve’s knee. 

He turns back to Eddie. Eddie who’s touch burns straight through him, who he can feel pulling pulling pulling him in like he wants to incinerate him whole. Steve would let him. 

So, he ignores the woman’s question and focuses on the man. “I don’t know him,” Steve whispers. He’s not sure it’s true, he can still feel the way his warm hand had cradled Steve’s jaw as he breathed life back into him.

Eddie’s boring his gaze into him, like maybe he can scoop out the images and muddle through them on his own. “But he’s in trouble?” 

Steve nods.

The woman stands up with a grunt, hands braced on knees as hauls herself up. “I’ll try Hop again.”

The name twinges. “Hop, Hop, Hopper,” Steve murmurs, looking back down at Eddie’s hand on his knee like it’ll tell him what he’s thinking. Like it’ll make his brain work better.

“What about him?” Will asks quietly. He’s watching the woman pick up the phone, turning the numbers by rote. 

Steve doesn’t know Hopper, but there’s a man with a dirty name plate attached to his dirty chest that reads the same name. “The vines,” he starts, before stalling out, unsure of what to say. “They’ve– they’ve got him.”

Eddie sits up, squeezing Steve’s knee tight, the bite of his fingernails into burnt flesh aching. “Hopper’s who’s in trouble?”

He nods, and sits, watching Hopper struggle, watching Will and Eddie trade looks around him, watching the woman hang up the phone with a sigh.

“Where?” Eddie asks.

Steve doesn’t know. He doesn’t know, but it’s Eddie who’s asking, so he closes his eyes. He closes his eyes and focuses. “There’s dirt,” he says, “and vines, and—” 

There’s nothing else. No discernable features of the landscape he both can and cannot see, but he’s squinting into his own mind hard enough that the back of his skull starts aching like it’s splitting open and that’s when he feels it: a pull.

It’s coming from the back of his head, like a migraine, aching at the join between his neck and skull. He lets his head sway with it, then points with the sway.

He closes his eyes, focuses on the man, and lets the pull take him. 

It’s like walking through purgatory – following the lines in his mind. He’s going the right way, can feel it just as surely as he can feel Eddie’s burning hand on his elbow and Will’s burning fingers on his ankles.  

He doesn’t open his eyes, just walks, and walks, until there’s nowhere to walk anymore.

It’s not until he stops that the implications of the pull yanking him down sink in. He wants to drop to his knees and scrabble at the ground with his nails. But he’s down too deep, and time’s running out. 

He opens his eyes and looks down. There’s a rotten pumpkin under his shoe, foot turning it to mush. Beneath that, there’s dirt. Dirt and vines. Steve points down to it, and looks up to meet Eddie’s worried eyes.

“He’s running out of time,” Steve says, watching both Eddie’s eyebrows furrow, and the way the man’s fingers are still flexing on the vine around his throat, keeping it at bay. 

“He’s down there?” the woman asks, unhelpful in her hysteria. 

Steve watches the reality unfurl in Eddie’s eyes and then looks down at the dirt beneath his feet and watches the man struggle.

People flit around him like ants. He doesn’t pay it any mind. Will and Eddie are here, and everything else is just killing time.

Part 78

Taglist: @deany-baby @estrellami-1 @altocumulustranslucidus @evillittleguy @carlprocastinator1000 @1-8oo-wtfbro @hallucinatedjosten @goodolefashionedloverboi @newtstabber @lunabyrd @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @manda-panda-monium @disrespectedgoatman @finntheehumaneater @ive-been-bamboozled @harringrieve @grimmfitzz @is-emily-real @dontstealmycake @angeldreamsoffanfic @a-couchpotato @5ammi90 @mac-attack19 @genderless-spoon @kas-eddie-munson @louismeds @imhereforthelolzdontyellatme @pansexuality-activated @ellietheasexylibrarian @nebulainajar @mightbeasleep @neonfruitbowl @beth--b @silenzioperso @best-selling-show @v3lv3tf0x @bookworm0690 @paintsplatteredandimperfect @wonderland-girl143-blog @nerdsconquerall @sharingisntkaren

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #my fic #steddie upsidedown au #will byers #i waffled over this for a WHILE! like will does the whole drawing thing but steve doesn't draw!!! he comminicates with his body!!! ' #“so in his body that hes out of it” #and i know i condenced what happens in the show here but it doesnt compell me and i feel like the suspense has been ratcheted up by showing #a lot of missed scenes between s1 and s2 in this fic

[panharmonium]

funniest and most heartwarming thing i rediscovered on my rewatch is when karin roasts sakura about poisoning naruto and then kakashi, who loves all of his kids very much and understands their behavior and isn’t upset with them about their choices but has also been under ABSURD amounts of stress for all of season 10, just bursts out laughing ❤️

#naruto #pan watches naruto #(again) #* #and in that moment karin became his new favorite #god i could say so much about the wind-down from the sasuke confrontation and how much i love it #kakashi's transition between the most horrific experience he's had in years #(where he thought he was going to have to kill one of his own kids) #and his return to the village (where's he's expected to take on the role of hokage at the outset of the fourth great ninja war) #is him walking six children home #one of whom he's carrying on his back #all of whom are laughing and bickering and teasing each other and acting like rowdy middle-schoolers #and there's such a feeling of peace to it #after being trapped in a situation that was so violently contrary to everything kakashi is and everything he wants #this whole experience of walking rambunctious kids home while they laugh and joke and screech at each other is so. life-affirming for him #and i don't choose that word casually: #kakashi tried to kill himself after that confrontation with sasuke. #i forgot about that until we rewatched it last week #'sakura - watch over my body' #he was going to sacrifice himself to take 'madara' out with kamui and stop the fourth war before it even started #but then it didn't work out that way (again) and he didn't die (again) and this whole extended denouement with the kids - #who are so alive; who are so silly; who make him laugh - #is SO significant because taking care of children is what saved him years ago and it's what resurrects him now #being forced to raise a hand against one of his own children almost killed him earlier #but now he's stumbling out the other side and the sun is shining and there's this other gaggle of children under his care #and they're laughing and playing with each other and it's like #it's not over. it's not over yet. #not for him. not for them. #and not for sasuke either. #they're all still alive and there's still hope!

[brother-emperors]

what's. what the fuck wrong with them. good grief. I need to put the three of them in a jar and study them

Mark Antony: A Biography, Eleanor Goltz Huzar

Julius Caesar and the Roman People, Robert Morstein-Marx

Mark Antony: A Biography, Eleanor Goltz Huzar

#if you follow me elsewhere you may have witnessed me descend into some kind of dolabella madness yesterday #which took an abrupt left turn when i got to the 11th philippic like YEAH ACTUALLY TEAR THE BITCH APART. GET HIM CASSIUS #justice for my man trebonius. cicero's letter to him got me feeling so emotional #this love triangle political clown show bullshit has a body count that makes the tris homines look moderate as a whole good GOD #gaius julius caesar #mark antony #roman republic tag #drawing tag #komiks tag

[puppyeared]

mascot

#this isnt vent dw!!! i dont smoke either i was just kinda going for some sort of vibe #i know its usually played for laughs or like. dark humor whenever ppl draw mascots without their heads and u can see the actor #but i always found it fascinating and a little sobering. ever since i was a kid ive always been hyperaware of ppl in costumes #like. even if i tried to block it out id be thinking the whole time 'its not real. theres a person in that suit who gets paid to do this' #it used to be an uncomfortable nagging feeling but now its like. oh yeah theres someone with a whole life story doing this. idk #i think when i tell ppl im not conscious of my body its like. im not dysphoric or experience dissociation but. at the same time #it feels like my physical body doesnt fully outwardly represent me..?? like some sort of costume #i like to phrase it as being a giant hairless mecha and inside theres a very tiny puppy piloting the damn thing #and the other thing is. when i draw my sona i dont really see it as what i /wish/ i looked like or how i want people to see me #its like being in a costume and just. fucking around with some sort of barrier between myself and others #plus mascots arent allowed to talk and i dont really. engage with other ppl in public spaces that it kinda feels like ad lib #i share a lot abt my life but ironically im also a private person..... i guess it just gives me some sort of control over my identity #my art #myart #my oc #sona #mascot #furry #??? is this furry art???? #twinkle #puppysona #edit: had to outline it bc i just realized it looks really weird on dark mode -_-

[mueritos]

its crazy how coming into clinical social work, i really just thought I was up against systems and cycles of trauma....but it turns out i'm up against those two things AND other therapists. the amount of work spent correcting mistakes from other clinicians--whether with clients or during the classroom--is fucking crazy.

i totally get we're all on different journeys in terms of being clinicians. but it is insane finding out day after day of therapists and clinicians saying the worst things ever to clients. demeaning them, telling them "it's all in their head", the racism and the ableism and harm that is caused. like no fucking wonder people are afraid to seek therapy (on top of the accessibility issues). while i'm a little biased and think that at the very least clinical social work training focuses on viewing people within their environments (so not engaging in the medical/individualist models of practice that a lot of counseling programs focus on), that doesn't mean it gives every person the skills to be an effective therapist. i'm also not saying i'm the best clinician ever--I'm literally in training--but boy! it is jarring seeing how some of my peers interact in class and wondering...is that how you are with your clients??

my social work program at the very least also has a focus on anti-racism, but i know students from other programs and some of them don't even mention racism AT ALL and focus entirely on diagnosing people "correctly", or finding the perfect form of therapy to use on a client. but man, what none of these programs teach are basic life skills. wanting to be a clinician isn't enough, especially considering that an inhumane amount of people in my program are 1. so nervous about making mistakes that they lose scope of their practice 2. have so much internalized racism/white guilt to work thru 3. or they have absolutely no listening skills.

again, im not trying to make it seem like I am the number 1 clinician in the world ever. I don't even have a psych background or bachelor's in social work. my reasons for going into social work are quite selfish (I want a job that is very flexible, easily transferable, and can be done in different contexts), and the helping people part is just a plus. i'm just saying it's very jarring seeing other people in training and realizing they too are working with clients. i have conversation after conversation about these issues with other BIPOC/queer/marginalized clinicians, so I know i'm not the only person worried about some of the people that will be out of this program in a few years practicing on their own or with vulnerable populations.

#muerto talks #just rambling #maybe im just a hater virgo with a strong sense of justice #i am just forever perplexed #learning that some of my classmates believe that you can be racist to white people is crazy #learning that some of my classmates are rude and dismissive to BIPOC students but they work in BIPOC communities #learning that some of my classmates weaponize their mental illnesses as an excuse to act shitty to professors classmates or clients is craz #there are zionists??? trying to be social workers?????? #i literally have classes with zionists #some people r doing a whole ass career change because they had a spiritual calling to help people?? #again not saying im such a great clinician im in training just like the rest of my program #but you cannot like tell me to even try to be hopeful about some of the people who will be my collegues in a year #because i have no hope for them #and its going to take making serious mistakes for them to maybe snap out of it #and that fucking sucks #nothing in my body feels safe around those people #like idc maybe im an elitist with impossible standards #maybe im the one asking too much from these people..... #the cognitive dissonance is real in these people man

[waterdeepthroat]

I am actually having so many thoughts about bg3 characters when it comes to body image bc themes of bodily autonomy are just so present in this game

#like. astarion and halsin are the obvious ones for this bc astarion doesn’t even know what he looks like and halsin is halsin #but the others?? karlach literally having her body taken apart and put back together by zariel?? wyll forcibly being changed by mizora?? #the very common headcanon that gale’s abs are an illusion?? shadowheart’s overall trans vibes? lae’zel whose body has been seen as a weapon #jaheira and her whole anti-ageing scroll can be taken in a different direction too. hell even minthara’s torture by orin #the emperor and what it means to have been a man and now something Else? i could even see it with the selûnites bc of their circumstances #there’s just SO SO MUCH to explore here and I’m gonna do it as soon as my computer finishes its download #bg3 #ALSO. raphael. bc haarlep is an idealised version of himself lbr. and my last tav (denandras) definitely has some complex feelings about it