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poursomesunaonme · 3 years

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living room mural

author’s note:

minors for the love of god please dni

hi friends! happy kinktober! i’ve been hard at work making sure this was finished before the end of the month, y’all 😩😩 but anyways, here’s the finished product since my brain is officially mush 😎

but (more, i think) importantly, this is my first ever upload to tumblr (and soon ao3 once i get my account set up hehe)! i have a few more WIPs, especially one that i’m dead set on also releasing later this month! but i’m super excited to finally get on here after pining about it for months:)

i’m happy that i’m finally feeling like uploading my work somewhere and making new friends, so here’s to new beginnings:) also i still suck at working tumblr so we’re learning (pls bear with me this makes me feel so ancient); also if any of you beautiful souls have the time to beta read, it would be so, so, so much appreciated!<3

so, without further ado…

🤪🤪🤪

what could be more innocent than a home reno with your partner satoru gojo? the answer: literally anything (or nothing), this is the lovable fuckable gojo we’re talkin about! he takes painting the town red to a whole other level;)

word count: 11.8k (and no i’m not sorry)

content/warnings: reader is afab; established relationship w/ satoru; NOT beta-read (if anyone wants to help pls message me😭); about a gazillion pet names, oral (fem receiving), fingering, dacryphilia, choking, teasing, a microscopic speck of angst, praising, slight degradation, spitting, body painting (bc i’ve been on this shit for weeks now), does that count as exhibitionism if it’s plastered on the walls, reader is blindfolded, biting, breeding kink, daddy kink, multiple creampies, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, spanking, edging, squirting, a sprinkle of fluff, gojo antagonizing poor nanami

(we’re gonna pretend that this paint is non-toxic and won’t permanently damage skin pls ignore how down despicable i am for this concept🥺😭)

The pungent scent of fresh paint and sawdust flooded my nostrils as I rolled the first coat of paint over the primed walls. The first stroke of beautiful white paint against the shit brown left me nearly breathless. I wanted to sit down and marvel at this step of progress, but the satisfaction of even a single stroke had me craving the finished product.

Before I got back to work, I closed my eyes, listening to the sound of Satoru working outside. He was sanding down the wood to build a bookshelf in the living room. The drone of the sander starting and stopping would provide a good rhythm for my work. A smile rose to my face as I heard him talking to himself in the same animated manner that he would use in speaking to other people. I sighed, looking back to the wall I had to tackle.

In a frenzy, I went to work, the roller gliding over the wall with ease. The streaks of paint turned into even blotches of beautiful white, which after thirty minutes of aching-inducing labor, was a finished work of a completely white wall. I stood back, setting down the roller. My fingers nimbly massaged my shoulder as I swung it around a bit to get out the cramps.

I had two more walls of white to do before I started on the last wall that we agreed to paint an olive green. The accent wall also happened to have the fireplace on it, which I was going to leave for last with how tedious the work would be. I went to the kitchen to grab a drink, deciding to make one for Satoru as well. Admiring the wall once again, I passed through the living room and looked out the back door, seeing him hard at work. The sweat glistened brightly on his forehead, accentuating his face that was contorted in focus on his task.

I kicked open the door, laughing at his face brightening when he saw me with his refreshment. He wiped the sweat off his forehead with the bottom hem of his tank top, revealing his toned abs. I sighed, content, as he left his work to sit on the steps with me, groaning as his butt hit the cement. He lifted the goggles that he was wearing, setting them on his forehead. I handed him his drink wordlessly, watching his Adam’s apple bobbing as he gulped down the water.

Together, we looked out in the yard, bright with the light of the afternoon sun. It was the point in the day where the sun seemed to shine the brightest before the hue changed with the golden hour. The stacks of supplies littering the grass were the only indications that we were in the middle of a home renovation. Satoru’s work station was meticulously set up in his own specific way to make his task easier.

I set down my cup next to me after taking a sip, wiping the condensation of the glass off on my jeans. Flecks of paint littered them, down to the cuffs. Surprised, I pulled out the hem of my cami, seeing that I had also somehow gotten paint on the front of it as well. I guess I made the right decision to wear clothes I didn’t care too much about. Sighing, I picked up my glass once again, gulping down water to satiate my thirst.

“I have two more white walls to do, then it’s onto the fireplace wall,” I told him, our sweaty arms sticking together in the afternoon heat. As much as I enjoyed sitting with him in silence, I wanted to know how his work was coming along. He finished his water with a dramatic “ahh,” setting down the empty cup next to him.

“I have a lot more wood to sand down,” he commented, gesturing to the stack he had next to his workbench. “I did not think this through. Do you still want a bookshelf? I think that maybe we could do without it.”

I chuckled, nudging him with my elbow. “Yes, ‘Toru, I want one. But we can always just buy one from Ikea.” I smirked, mocking him with my next statement, hoping to injure his pride enough to spur him to finish the task. “But I at least thought that the best would be able to finish a simple bookshelf. Guess I was wrong.”

The corners of his mouth turned into a frown, lost in thought for a moment. I laughed as he jolted upright, playing right along into my hands. “I’ll finish it!”

Planting a quick kiss on my lips, he sprinted back to his work, grunting as he picked up another board and set it on his table. The sander turned on, doing its work as Satoru guided its movements with ease, muscles rippling in the afternoon sun. I watched for a bit, sipping my water as I watched him begin to sweat through his tank with his added effort. The sawdust that flew from the wood stuck to his skin.

After a few more minutes, my drink was finished. I set my hands on my knees, grunting as I stood up. Satoru noticed me taking my leave. I waved to him, which in response, he winked, gritting his teeth as he held the sander in place. I plucked our empty cups from the step, and entered the house once again. I set them in the kitchen, then got back to work on the next wall.

The work was easier as I got into a steady rhythm, even switching hands on occasion when my right arm started to wear out. The work was repetitive and calming; letting out a gruff laugh, I considered switching jobs to become a painter. It was exponentially less stressful than teaching. With a sigh, I stood back, realizing that in my reverie, I had finished the last two walls, both of which didn’t have anything that I had to paint around, making them easy to finish without incident.

I smiled to myself, wondering how Satoru was doing with his work. He had been so excited when he came up with the idea (it was more me putting the idea into his head and him taking the credit for it) of building a bookshelf for me, a light colored one that contributed to the peaceful atmosphere of the living room. I knew it would be the perfect piece that we had been looking for to complete the layout.

I sat down next to the can of green paint, prying it open and then dumping a healthy amount into the pan. I picked up the other roller, watching as it soaked up the pretty olive hue. Staring intently at the wall I had to tackle, the only thing I had to worry about was the fireplace, which we were still picking out a color for. Pieces of my hair fell out of my disheveled bun, tumbling into my eyes. I brushed them away, quickly deciding that I was going to worry about painting the wall directly next to the fireplace at the end of my work.

I thought halfway through the wall that being a professional painter would definitely be a viable side job, seeing as I was now working efficiently and had ascertained easy tips to make the work seamless. After I had finished the unblocked parts of the wall, I started at the bottom of the fireplace with a new, smaller brush, carefully tracing next to the painter’s tape. Both sides were finished quickly enough, only leaving the top of the mantle to tackle.

The fresh paint smell had attached to my body, my nose not even used to it after the seeming hours I had spent applying it to the walls. Standing on my tiptoes, I attempted to reach and stroke the paint blindly across the back edge of the mantle. No matter where I stood, I couldn’t see over the edge, and I certainly didn’t want to use a roller and get more on there than I needed. Sighing with frustration, I set down the brush on the pan. I straightened up, raking a hand through my hair, trying to figure out another way to tackle the situation.

“Only you can make painting look this good,” Satoru commented from behind me. I whirled around, seeing him leaning against the doorframe, covered in sawdust, arms crossed over his chest. His goggles were up against his hairline, pushing the hair up at a funny angle. I smiled, planting my hands on my hips and sauntering over to him. He whistled at my sultry approach and planted a kiss on my lips when I reached him.

“‘Toru,” I started sweetly, trailing a finger down his chest, “now that you’re here, would you be a doll for me and paint the spots above the mantle? I can’t reach.”

He stooped down, pressing a kiss into my sweaty forehead. “Of course, love.”

I clapped my hands, spinning back around and beginning a trot back to the fireplace. Satoru kept pace with me easily with long strides. I squealed as one of his large hands collided with my ass. I cast a glance at him, seeing the devilish grin that his spanking had caused.

He plucked the brush from the pan, dabbling a bit to get more on the bristles. With ease, he stood at the mantle, not even having to stand on his tiptoes to see what he was doing. I watched with arms crossed as he set long strokes across the base. His back muscles pulled taut and released with grace with his movements, the sparkling of his sweat glistening with the setting sun filtering in through the windows.

The sawdust that was sprinkled across his body had begun to fall off as his sweat dried, adding a certain kind of magic that only he could embody. He applied a few more strokes, then let his hand fall to his side, examining his work. Once he deemed it presentable, he turned back to me, an endearing smile gracing his lips.

I gently padded over to him, feeling like I was floating on air in the approach. He glided over to me, eyes looking me up and down from under his lids. I bit my lip, which seemed to surprise him as his eyebrows raised. Without warning, he lunged forward, brush extended. I tried to recoil, but my reflexes weren’t fast enough for the huge streak of paint he spread down my shirt.

I looked down at it, then back up at him. He let out a laugh, tossing the brush to the side, not bothering to look as it clattered over the covered floors. I jumped at him, swatting at him playfully. He grabbed my biceps with force and pulled me close to subdue me. It worked, but not before I squirmed in his embrace, making sure his shirt was covered in paint as well.

After I had stopped moving, his grip loosened and he pulled back, examining my shirt with a mock concern. He tugged at the hem, seeing that the stripe of paint had spread to cover the whole front of my shirt during our tussle.

“Hun, I think your shirt is ruined,” he commented, corners of his mouth turning up at the sight of my indignation. “Think you should get rid of it now.”

I decided to take his comment literally. I shoved him playfully, pulling it off over my head, revealing my bare chest. His jaw dropped as he tried to croak out a response to my actions, but I beat him to the punch.

“Guess I had no choice but to take it off,” I murmured, glancing at his shirt as well. He took the cue, slightly fumbling with the hem, but not making any move to remove it. I took a step toward him, my heart beginning to race. The afternoon air wasn’t nearly cold enough to make my nipples hard, but the sight of Satoru sure was. The golden light shining through the windows made him look like an angel with the way it illuminated the dust around him and the sweat still sitting on his skin.

“I think that would apply to you too, ‘Toru,” I teased, closing the gap with another step as I reached for the bottom of his shirt. He continued a forward movement, pressing his whole front against me, igniting a heat between my legs.

“‘Mkay,” he murmured, lifting a hand to gently stroke my hair. He tugged a bit, showing me the paint between his pinched fingers that he got from a few strands. I swatted his hand away, forcing his attention onto me. “Take it off then.”

A smile rose to my lips as I obliged happily, nimbly tugging his shirt up to reveal his chiseled abdomen. The sight never failed to take my breath away. I let my fingers skim over his muscles as I pulled his shirt up over his body. His arms lifted gracefully to make my job easier, and after throwing it to the side, he was bare chested.

Before I could lift my eyes to meet his, his lips met mine gently. A tiny moan left my lips as I let my hands find his arms. They skimmed up and down over his skin, eliciting heavy breaths from Satoru. The sawdust made things difficult, as it seemed to be everywhere and was rough on my fingertips. He pushed me backwards, beginning to get handsy as his tongue swiped over my bottom lip. I opened my mouth in response, letting out another moan, this one louder than the first, as his hands wandered around to my backside, giving my ass a solid squeeze, a cheek in each hand.

At the sound that I had made, I opened my eyes to see his reaction - which I was not in the least disappointed by. His eyes widened with surprise, then narrowed as his pupils blew out. Any sense of reservation with me was gone as soon as the vibrations left my throat. Half pushing, half carrying me, we collided with the fireplace wall.

The wet paint stuck to my skin, the scent once again invading my nostrils. I pulled away from the kiss, chest heaving. Satoru gave me a questioning glance before diving down to plant open mouthed kisses on my neck. My hands met his hair, lightly pushing him away, but he didn’t pay my efforts much attention.

“‘Toru, t-the paint’s still wet,” I squeaked as he sucked on the skin. He mumbled something against my neck before biting it lightly, tugging the skin between his teeth. The heat between my legs burst into an even more intense fire at Satoru’s passion. A feral groan left my lips as that one action sealed the wet walls’ fate for the night.

“Fuck it,” I sighed, my hands tangled in his hair, pulling him closer to me. Our lips collided again as he took full advantage of my eagerness, wrapping me up in his arms completely. They provided a buffer between my bare back and the green paint that covered it nonetheless. With a low moan, his fingers looped through the belt loops of my jeans, tugging me impossibly closer to him, eliciting a gasp that passed between our mouths.

The moment seemed to spark something within him as he pulled back from my mouth. I pouted, trying to stand on my tiptoes to reach his mouth again. My fingers danced across his shoulders, trying to ascertain from his facial expression what he wanted. He towered over me, eyes darkened with lust.

“Open your mouth,” he commanded, pulling on my loops to emphasize his words. My response was immediate, obeying him fully, sticking out my tongue slightly as well. His hands untangled from my belt loops, ghosting over the skin of my chest up to my throat. One hand tightened around it while the other stroked my cheek lovingly. I blinked rapidly, waiting for him to do anything else.

I didn’t have to pout for much longer, as he had paused for a minute to gather spit in his mouth. Pursing his lips, he parted them slightly, letting a dribble of spit through them. Not faltering in my pose, I let it hit my tongue, watching intently as the rest of the warm liquid left his lips. Once he had finished, he gave my throat a light squeeze, signaling for me to swallow it. I obliged, taking it in full and giving him a sultry smile afterwards.

“God, you’re so hot,” he growled, our lips meeting once again. His hands left their position and wrapped around my waist once again, pulling me closer to him. As I was pried off the wall, my nipples perked at the cold hitting my back. It was accompanied by the strange feeling of the paint beginning to dry on it.

It wasn’t long before he slammed me against the far wall. At least, I thought it was. I was so disoriented already from Satoru’s intense onslaught of passionate kisses, but I didn’t care. One wall was already ruined, what was the hurt in fucking up the others?

The kissing was fierce, passionate. Both of us fought for dominance, though it was always Satoru who won out in the end, even when I decided to take control and pin him against the wall instead (which, in any case, I knew he enjoyed). Over and over we turned, covering every inch of the wall with our bodies.

It seemed that Satoru shared the same mentality, as the process repeated itself again and again until I pulled back to catch my breath. I glanced around, and a laugh escaped my lips. Satoru sighed, following my eyeline until a guffaw left his lungs as well. Our surveillance led us to the discovery that the initial makeout had left my entire backside (ass included) covered in green paint; this in turn, with Satoru’s slamming me against the far wall, had led to my ass displayed on every inch of it.

“Well, that was something I didn’t expect to ever see on the wall of a house,” I commented, bumping into my lover. He chuckled, planting a kiss on my temple. His arm wrapped around my waist, the warmth of his body sending a shiver through me.

“I personally love the view.” To emphasize his point, he grabbed my ass and squeezed it, leaving his hand covered in paint. “I think it’s missing something, though.”

“And what’s that?” I looked at him, seeing the usual devilish grin spread across his face. He didn’t even have to see my face to recognize the quizzical look that I would give him when he had one of his crazy ideas.

“Well, two things.” He held up two fingers to me like I didn’t know how to count. “First of all, I want your bare ass there, so take off your jeans. Second, mine isn’t there!”

I laughed, the sound echoing throughout the empty room. “What are we gonna do, slather paint all over your ass and have you stamp the walls?”

“Yeah? What else?” His nonchalant tone drew a giggle from me. My eyes widened with glee, not expecting him to have been serious at all. He turned to me, face brightening at my enthusiasm.

“Oh, this is gonna be golden!” I smirked, getting the paint roller and the pans of paint. Together, we stripped down bare, throwing our pants in a pile where our shirts were. Since my prints were already there, Satoru was adamant about getting painted first. Indulging him, I knelt on the ground, prying open a can of paint that we had bought in the hopes of finding a use for it. The pretty lilac color poured out into our spare paint tray. Satoru giggled in delight as I soaked the roller and gestured for him to turn around.

“Okay, it’s gonna be cold,” I warned, not hesitating to start to roll the paint on the back of his thighs and over his ass. He squealed like a schoolgirl, wincing at the temperature on his sensitive skin. “Chill out! You’ve faced worse than this, you baby.”

He didn’t say anything, but stilled his body as I put more than was needed on his skin. After I covered him with a copious amount, I tapped on his calf. “I think you’re good to try.”

“Ooh, I can’t wait to see!” He ran over to the wall and leaned against it, making sure his legs were flat against it as well. He gave me a dramatic look, crossing his arms to emphasize his mock impatience. Lifting his arm to check his imaginary watch, he sighed.

A soft smile rose to my lips, watching his theatrics. The golden light filtering in through the window illuminated him beautifully. The sawdust was almost completely shaken from his skin, as was a result of our fierce kissing earlier; however, a few motes still unstuck themselves from him and drifted away, looking like little fireflies in the dazzling light.

He sparkled like Christmas lights, standing there so nonchalantly, yet looking like a Renoir. The shadows cast by his handsome features cut so deep against his skin, the crests and valleys of his toned muscles like a landscape I felt like I had yet to explore. Eyes widening, I shook my head to bring myself from my staring.

“I don’t think it would take that long for it to settle,” I told him with a knowing smile. “Hop off and let’s see it.”

His eyes widened at the odd sensation as he pulled away from the wall. I gasped, seeing the stamp of his ass. I knew it was going to be hilarious, but the imprint of his ass seeming to hover over the backs of his thighs in the middle of the wall sent me into a fit of laughter. His laughter soon followed when he saw the shapes.

My stomach began to ache as I laid down on the ground, still in throes of giggles. Satoru came and sat down next to me, smoothing my hair down, watching me chuckle at the scene.

“Isn’t it just a work of art?” he commented. I rolled my eyes, sitting up and getting my own paint tray with the olive green still sitting inside of it. I stood up, turning and gesturing to the tools.

“My turn!” I sang, wiggling my ass. Without fail, Satoru’s hands cupped the bottom of it, lifting and shaking it. I craned my neck to see him watching it jiggle in wonder. With a sigh, I turned back around, waiting for him to roll paint onto it. Without warning, his teeth sunk into the fleshy skin.

“What the fuck!” I yelped, whirling around to flick him in the forehead. His teeth flashed into a grin as he narrowly avoided my fingers, picking up the roller instead. “God, you’re insufferable.”

“What? I just couldn’t help myself.” His sweet tone threatened to make my teeth rot. While it hurt at first, the pleasure of it was beginning to hit as the irritated skin began to heat up. I shifted uncomfortably, not exactly wanting to ask him to do it again, but wanting it all the same.

“Just paint my ass.”

“Now that’s a sentence I’d never thought I’d hear coming out of your mouth,” he snickered, not even warning me that he was going to start. I sucked in a breath at the cool feeling on my bare skin, not wanting to show my discomfort as much as he did. The coolness felt wonderful on the spot where he bit me. He finished in a few seconds, the foreign sensation ceasing as quickly as it began.

I ran over to where he stamped the wall and sat against it. The height difference made me giggle as I imagined the print of my ass barely level with his thighs. After a few seconds, I pulled back, grimacing at the sticky sensation. I turned around and slapped a hand over my mouth, seeing the plumpness of my ass on the wall.

“We should frame that and put it in the Louvre,” Satoru joked, coming up beside me and wrapping an arm around me. I turned to him, pulling closer, our chests pressed against each other. My mouth was slightly ajar, not even wanting to say anything to him. We were both naked, and I wanted him.

When he looked down and saw my expression, he licked his lips hungrily before our lips collided. The kiss deepened without hesitation, with Satoru’s tongue slipping into my mouth. His arms enveloped me easily, pulling me closer, roaming all over my bare back. The gentle skim of his fingers sent shivers down my spine. He tilted his head down slightly, breaking the contact of our lips but not the rest of our faces. Our eyes met as we panted heavily.

“Lay down, sweets,” he murmured, cupping my face in his hands. I nodded and obeyed without a word, the tarp crinkling underneath me. A low whistle escaped his lips as I spread my legs for him, the cool air hitting my heat. He crouched down, marveling at the view before moving in closer. As he crawled to settle between my legs, something other than the tarp crinkled.

Our eyes widened as we looked to the source of the sound, finding that Satoru had accidentally placed his hand into the lilac paint. I opened my mouth to protest as Satoru shrugged and proceeded to continue his approach, but he held his clean hand up to his lips.

“Let me paint you, baby,” he murmured. I swear he could’ve slid inside me then and there because his statement nearly made me gush. His soft white hair tickled my inner thighs as he reached his journey’s end. He looped his arms around my thighs, his left hand smearing wet paint all over my leg.

The slippery sensation felt amazing as he squeezed and massaged them, planting kisses on the sensitive skin of my thighs that made my pussy flutter. He sighed, hot breath tickling the needy skin, before licking a stripe from my entrance to my clit. I moaned, arching my back at the contact. I reached down, tangling my fingers in his hair to hold on for dear life. He chuckled lowly, his painted hand untangling from my leg. He watched, beginning to suck on my clit, as his hand snaked up my body, leaving a trail of lilac paint.

Satoru’s huge hand kneaded my tit, leaving a handprint to mark his territory. I squirmed in his grasp, the chilly paint causing my nipples to perk into peaks. He pinched one as he buried his face in my pussy, picking up the pace. The movements of his hands were exaggerated, as he was entertaining himself by smearing paint all over my torso (of course he would be).

I pulled him closer by the hair, moans spilling from my lips. Even with my eyes squeezed shut, I could imagine everything that he was doing with the heightened senses that my arousal gifted me with. His other arm unwound itself from my leg and trailed up my torso, arriving at my mouth.

“Open up, princess,” he cooed against my pussy. I did as I was told and he didn’t hesitate to slip his pointer and middle finger inside. I hollowed out my cheeks, sucking obediently, swirling my tongue around his fingers to coat them with my saliva before he pulled them out.

“Good girl.” He spread them apart, watching the trails of spit that webbed his fingers. He rubbed them on my clit, then swiftly plunged them into my cunt. I cried out as he curled them upwards, finding the spot he knew so well. He swirled them around a bit, finding a good rhythm and watching me squirm before gracing my clit with his mouth once again.

The second he began eating me out, I could already feel myself getting close. I couldn’t help that each exhale was an obnoxious moan; Satoru knew my body better than I did. The slurping sounds that came from between my legs would make a nun blush as he worked his hardest to bring me to a climax.

The heat spread everywhere on my body as the complementarity of Satoru’s rhythmic fingering and incessant tonguing worked together to stimulate me. My legs began to shake as my eyes rolled back into my head. My fingers pulled harder on his hair, telling him to keep it up since I couldn’t form the words with my own mouth.

“You’re close, hm?” he purred, scissoring his fingers against my velvet walls. I squeezed my thighs together, trapping him against me so he couldn’t escape.

“Mmhm,” I managed to squeak out. Without a word, he picked up his pace to reach a superhuman speed, my pussy throbbing against his mouth. The muscles constricted and loosened rapidly as it sucked his fingers deeper into my cunt. The intensifying loudness of my moans were telling of my quick approach to my orgasm.

“Cum for me, darling,” he egged me on, watching in satisfaction as I unraveled before him. I cried out, legs seizing up as the orgasm hit me like a freight train. He continued his onslaught, mouth and hand working to keep the stimulation going, while his other hand was still massaging my breast.

The waves of pleasure began to ebb away, and the stars cleared from my vision. I sighed happily, massaging Satoru’s scalp as he slowed his pace. My body jerked occasionally, still in the throes of the ebbing orgasm. He picked his head up, planting kisses up my abdomen, settling on the breast that he hadn’t covered in paint. His other hand remained in my cunt, still massaging my g-spot. Since his mouth wasn’t there, he used his thumb to rub my clit instead. My head spun as he tongued and sucked on my nipple, setting off fireworks all over my body.

“S’toru,” I whined, “kiss me… please?”

He released my nipple with a soft pop, teeth flashing in a luminous smile. “I love it when you beg for me,” he murmured, twisting his fingers deliciously. The buttery smoothness of his lips brushed against mine, fueling the flames in my belly. I melted into him, pliable as putty as he worked me into another climb up the mountain of pleasure.

“Ngh, fuck!” I choked out, gripping his shoulders. My moans were quickly muffled by his mouth on mine, enveloping the soft tissue and every sound that came from it. His lips were impossibly smooth, contradicting the roughness of his fingers that rolled within me. Satoru’s teeth bit and tugged on my bottom lip, before parting my lips with his tongue and gently sliding it inside my mouth. His face pulled away, watching my expression contort with neediness. The paint drying on his spare hand, he reached past my head, fumbling with his clothes.

I opened my mouth to ask what he was doing, but it quickly snapped shut when I saw his blindfold dangling from his hand. The grin on his face was telling of what he was going to say, and I was more than eager to agree. Before I knew it, Satoru was slipping the blindfold over my head, settling it gently over my eyes, surprisingly all while still keeping a steady rhythm massaging my g-spot.

“You doin’ okay, sweetheart?” Satoru’s voice showered down on me from his position above. I could hear the smile in his tone at the sight of me splayed out underneath him, completely at his mercy. The thought made me nearly gush.

“Uh-huh, ‘Toru,” I moaned sweetly, relishing in the warmth of his body on mine. The brush of his lips on my mout nearly made me jump out of my skin, but I soon dissolved into the contact as his tongue slid inside of my mouth. He threatened to swallow me whole, our tongues intertwining like snakes, salia mixing sloppily.

“Can you take another, pretty girl?” Satoru’s lips left mine and whispered the question directly into my ear. The ghost of his breath brushed against sensitive skin, sending shivers down my spine. A whimper escaped me, but I nodded, clinging to his shoulders. He didn’t hesitate to plunge an extra finger into my cunt, letting my walls assimilate to the stretch. He spread his fingers wide within me, eliciting a cry from my lips.

“Too much,” I mumbled, the familiar feeling of the tears prickling in the bridge of my nose as I struggled to take his three fingers. Despite my whimpering, he continued, relentlessly curling his long fingers to tickle the spot that ruined me every time. As he continued gently pumping his digits into me, my walls assimilated to the girth.

“Helpin’ you get ready for the main show.” The smile was evident in his voice as he planted a kiss on my open mouth, ignoring my eyebrows knitting together, ignoring the trembling of my entire body, but especially ignoring my knees weakly struggling to come together, blocked by his hips lodged between them.

The alien chill of paint covered the skin of my throat as his hand wrapped around it, gently squeezing. My head began to pound with each beat of my heart. After a few more moments of his fingers dexterously massaging the soft skin of my neck, his hand traveled upwards, grabbing the sides of my face and squishing them together.

“Open up for me, darling,” he purred. I could feel brilliant blue eyes, darkened with lust, as they pierced through me. My mouth went dry as I forced it open. My tongue protruded, waiting for what I knew was to come. His finger brushed against my cheek as he pushed the blindfold up slightly, allowing me to watch the scene that unfolded. Without fail, Satoru stuck out his own tongue, watching lazily as the spit he gathered dropped from one mouth to another.

The fire in my belly exploded at the feral gleam in his eyes, at the renewed ferocity that he plunged his fingers into my cunt, at the tantalizing movement of his thumb on my clit. A gurgle escaped my lips at a particularly potent movement within me that zapped like electricity throughout my veins. My nails dug into his skin as I fought to keep my head from spinning off.

“Uh-uh,” Satoru tsked, shaking my head back and forth easily to emphasize his words. I hadn’t even realized that my mouth snapped shut. “Don’t swallow yet.”

A tear slipped from my bleary eyes, rolling down my cheek. His lips were on my face in an instant, kissing the wetness away. My lips trembled, along with my whole body, as Satoru’s digits wreaked havoc within my velvet walls. The fire in my belly spread throughout my limbs, rendering me a shaking mess as my orgasm came barrelling at me.

“S’toru?” I mewled, drool spilling from the corner of my mouth. He fixed his attention on me without words, eyes gleaming at me as they watched me struggle to string sounds together. “Can I swallow now?”

The question must’ve sounded so silly with the amount of spit impeding my speech, but Satoru only gently kissed my forehead, his voice rumbling against me. “Of course, princess.”

As the warm liquid descended down my throat, one of my hands ceased gripping his shoulder like a lifeline and fumbled around the tarp. I could feel his eyes looking inquisitively at me, but I ignored it as my hand found what I wanted. The gooey viscosity of the olive paint coated my hand. As I removed my hand from the tray, the excess paint dripped off, splattering onto the tarp. The foreign feeling of skin through the barrier of paint met my hand as I placed it on the back of Satoru’s neck, pulling him closer to me.

My lips met his ear, the pungent scent of the fresh paint flooding my nose once again at the proximity. “Can I cum, ‘Toru? ‘M close, babe.”

With a kiss to my neck, he removed his dexterous digits. I cried out, surprised by the empty feeling, missing the stimulation both inside and out of me. Looking down, I saw that Satoru had simultaneously begun to line himself with my entrance. My eyes widened as I saw what I had been hoping for, biting my lip in excitement. His body twisted slightly as he reached for something behind him.

“You want my dick?”

He already knew the answer. A cheeky smile lit up his face, telling me everything I needed to know. His ego needed to be stroked. I needed to be filled. Mutual interests.

I shoved those thoughts out of my head, filling them with my desire for Satoru and Satoru alone. We had chosen each other, claimed the other for ourselves. Passion filled the air around us, had already begun to seep through the walls of the house as we made it our own.

I nibbled on my lower lip, blinking my eyes like a doe. He softened seeing my expression, leaning down lower so that the hair that cascaded down tickled my forehead.

“Yes, daddy.”

His thick cock plunged into my weeping cunt all while he wrapped his freshly painted hand around my throat. A struggling moan left my lips as my body attempted to become accustomed to both feelings, but the overwhelming intensity of being stretched by his cock and being painted as his property sent my head spinning.

The blindfold slipped down over my eye once again at Satoru’s slow but powerful thrusts, leaving me dazed. The tarp beneath us crinkled loudly at our movements, but we paid it no mind. His pace halted for a second, then resumed as his other hand joined in on the Pollock that was my body. His other hand remained gripping my throat as the freshly coated member roamed my body, coating it in the beautiful lilac paint.

I fumbled blindly for my paint tray, my wandering hands finally finding purchase once I gripped the plastic. I pulled it closer to me and plunged my hands into the cool liquid, not caring that paint was dripping everywhere - down my arms, onto the tarp. They slunk over Satoru’s body, coating him in the beautiful olive hue. As much as I wanted to see the art I was making, I also loved that it would be a surprise when he let me take off the blindfold.

The tip of Satoru’s dick knocked against my cervix as he picked up his pace, his cock beginning to twitch within me. I wrapped my arms around his broad shoulders, holding him closer to me. He pinched my nipples, face buried in the crook of my neck as my neediness brought him closer to his high. I wrapped my legs around his waist, hoisting myself up off the ground for him to get a better angle.

“Ah, fuck,” he panted into the sensitive skin of my neck, “you’re killin’ me, babe.”

I only smiled, tilting my head back at the way his hips rutted against mine, at the way his pubis rubbed against my clit so deliciously, at the way his balls slapped against the crease of my ass, dripping with the juices that flowed from my pussy. His tip nuzzled so perfectly within me that it brought tears to my eyes. My walls had stretched to accommodate his huge length, squeezing him so nicely.

The coil in my center needed to be unraveled. Moans poured from my lips as I used the leverage I had wrapped around him to feebly fuck him back, eliciting a string of curses falling from his mouth. Our tongues intertwined sloppily, ministrations pouring from mouth to mouth as we both approached our high.

“C-cum with me?” I panted against Satoru’s moist mouth. He only managed to get out a grunt as I felt him twitch inside me. He fucked me hard and fast, hot breath in my mouth. My wet hands roamed all over his body, quickly followed by my nails digging into his soft skin as fireworks exploded within me. Without warning, my orgasm hit harder than I expected, eliciting an obnoxious moan from my lungs as I held him impossibly close, squeezed him impossibly tighter.

That was all he needed as he came inside me, shuddering breath spewings against the soft skin of my chest as he planted open mouthed kisses against the unpainted inches of my breasts (at least, I hoped that he wasn’t ingesting paint). My walls continued to contract, milking him dry as I felt his hot seed spewing within me, painting the velvety soft walls of my sex.

My body convulsed with the power of the orgasm, my legs falling limp to the tarp, unable to hold themselves up anymore. His dick slipped out of me as my ass hit the ground, the empty feeling drawing a cry from my lips. I lay there, panting, feeling his cum leak out of me.

Satoru nestled into me, weighing on me like a security blanket, as we both recovered from our highs. My fingers tangled in his hair, relishing in the movement of his chest against mine, nothing separating us as we lay tangled on the floor of our living room, in our house, in the new chapter of our lives beginning. I pressed a kiss into his hair, letting out a content sigh.

I wanted to stay like this forever. To remain in the arms of my lover, on the floor of the living room in our new home. To freeze this moment where he was all mine, when his mind was only on me, on us, and nothing else. I knew that eventually we would both go back to work, he would go on amazing and dangerous missions, and I would be left alone in the empty house, waiting for him to come back. But, at least I would have this memory - I would know that I was his and he was mine.

“Let’s go on a field trip!” Satoru giggled, jolting me from my peaceful reverie. My hands flew to coat themselves in paint, as I knew that he was moving me away from the tray - and I wanted to continue with our game. His arms wrapped me up and lifted me. My nipples perked at the cool air on my back. Paint and cum dripped off my body as I wrapped my legs around his torso, squeaking at the slightest brush of his abs against my clit. In no time, we hit a wall. Satoru’s hands were on my ass in an instant, lowering me to sink down onto his dick.

A cry escaped my lips as I felt like being split in two all over again, our cum leaking all over his member from our last orgasm. A shudder rocked through my body as a breath hissed out of me. Nails burrowed into skin feebly to counteract the pain of his girth stretching me.

His fingers dug into the supple flesh of my ass, painting it with his lilac liquid as he easily suspended me against the wall. I felt the damp paint begin to streak across the wall as he bounced me up and down on his cock, his face buried in my neck, gently kissing and biting the sensitive skin.

The prickly feeling of tears in my nose rose to a peak as my clit dragged against his front. Swollen from overstimulation, it throbbed weakly, my cunt weeping at the painful pleasure. Tears began to stain the blindfold as they fell from my eyes, just barely leaking out from underneath to streak down my cheeks. I sniffled, clinging to Satoru’s broad shoulders.

At the sound, a chill hit my neck as Satoru removed his face. His lips were pressing to my cheeks instantly, kissing the tears away once again. Warmth spread all over my body, being wrapped up in the arms of the Sun itself.

“Oh, princess,” he muttered, still peppering kisses over my face even though the tears were gone. “Don’t cry! Look how well you’re taking my cock. You’re being so, so good for me, sweetness.”

I mustered up a smile at his praises as his lips collided with mine once again. Pressing my back against the wall, I angled my body so that I was able to grind in circles on him. The overstimulation zapped within me every few strokes, but it was beginning to ebb away at the rising crest of pleasure.

“Fuck, just like that, baby,” Satoru groaned, beginning to fuck into me faster. By now, all of his cum had leaked out of me, splattering distastefully onto the floor. He seemed to notice the sound at the same time I did, as it fueled him further.

“Maybe that attempt might not’ve gotten you pregnant,” he hissed into my ear, self control beginning to dissipate. “Maybe I should fuck another baby into you, hm?”

“Uh-huh,” was all I managed to force out at the ferocity in which he began railing into me. His energy never failed to amaze me, and never failed to pleasure me. One of my hands flew to the wall to steady myself, smearing paint all over it in the process.

“Yeah, yeah, let’s see you pumped full of cum again, baby. Is that what you want? Want me to cum in you again?”

His ministrations were nothing short of animalistic as he pushed, pressed, pinched every inch of my body, beginning to nip at the skin of my neck as he began to lose control. My feeble mind could barely keep up with his physical and spoken output. My eyes squeezed shut under the blindfold, then opened, seeing nothing.

“Yes, please, ‘Toru.” My breathing came in gasps as my high drew nearer. I could see stars in the corner of my vision as the coil in my belly threatened to unravel, spilling honey from my sex at every thrust.

“Please what?” The teasing tone of his voice was a poor cover up at the desire for me to satisfy him, to play into his fantasy that he wanted - no, needed to make a reality.

“Please - ngh!” I couldn’t finish the sentence. My mind was fogging up, halting all mental processes. All I could think about was his cock drilling into me, my walls weakly squeezing to keep up with his pace. His lips pressed against my chest, tasting the salt that covered my skin.

“Say it, baby.” The softness of his voice soothingly flowed over my ears, gently caressed me and carried me to the precipice of my orgasm. I drew a deep breath, forcing my brain to put together sounds.

“Please let me make you a daddy!”

The words tumbled from my lips like prayers, falling on the ears of a sympathetic god, who showed mercy by pounding into my sopping pussy. My lover, while he was the one who physically dominated me, was easily emotionally bent to my will like a spring sapling. His pace faltered slightly, then picked up with a new vigor as he processed my request.

“Oh, that… that’s my girl!” he forced out, cock twitching uncontrollably within me. One of his arms wrapped around my waist, holding me up, while the other reached to grab my throat. At the stimulation of the sensitive skin, he pushed me over the edge of my orgasm. We came together for the second time, mixing his seed with my juices once again as they both ran down my thighs, spilling onto his cock.

The cries that came from my lips could’ve made the neighbors call the cops. We clung to each other, suspended in a mindblowing orgasm, his hips erratically slapping against mine. Hot breath mixed between our mouths as our lips collided, soft moans expelled between the both of them. We were so close - our breaths were mixing, I couldn’t tell where his body ended and mine began, we were truly one.

“I love dragging you around like my little braindead cumslut,” Satoru whispered into my ear. My eyebrows furrowed at his unprovoked statement. As much as I wanted to inquire on why he said it, I couldn’t help that his words made my walls clench around him.

All of a sudden, his arms disappeared, and I was supported by nothing. Struggling to find my bearings, being blindfolded, I flailed wildly. Satoru’s laughter drew a smile from my own lips as he caught me again and set me down, letting me find my footing.

I wanted to slap at him for teasing me, but my brain was still recovering, still searching my other senses to make sense of my reality. Before I could string two thoughts together, his hand was on the small of my back, guiding me a few paces away. Without warning, he pushed me over, sending me slamming face first into a wall.

“Fuck! ‘Toru, that hurt!” My whines fell on deaf ears as he spread my cheeks, whistling at the sight of the cum dripping between my thighs. My hands flew to brace myself on the wall as he began ramming into me once again, slipping in without incident. His hands slid down my arms, coating them in paint. They finally found purchase as they reached my hands, intertwining with my fingers and raising them far up over my head.

As much as I struggled against him, I was powerless to tear my hands from his grasp. His cock slid in and out of me seamlessly, coated with the results of… how many orgasms? Five? I didn’t know, I lost count. Satoru peppered my shoulders, the rutted blades of my back, the nape of my neck, with kisses, eliciting soft moans from my mouth in opposition to the jarring ones that occurred if he thrusted into me, hitting a certain point that made my body twitch.

His hands released mine and they fell to my eye level, resuming their position in holding me up against the wall. Right after I had righted myself, had steady footing, was about to fuck him back, he surprised me with slaps to my ass. They were oddly dulled. The paint.

I turned to look at him, sneakily pushing up the blindfold to take in the sight, watching as he, tongue sticking out of his lips in focus, reared back, hand dripping with paint. The cold sting of his palm met the sensitive skin of my ass as he cocked his arm back for another hit in quick succession, almost making a drumbeat of spanking my ass. The movement was carefree, as if he was swatting an annoying bug away from him.

Paint covered his front, the lilac and olive and white all mixing together to make a swirl of beauty. It mesmerized me, the way it clung to his body, emphasizing and complimenting his stunning figure, the valleys of his abdominals, the rugged landscape of his muscles.

I turned back to the wall, the blindfold slipping over my eyes once again. They squeezed shut as he ceased, obviously pleased with how the lilac paint melted in with the redness of the plowed skin. He grabbed my cheeks in his ginormous hands, gently massaging them, spreading and closing them, using them in ways that took both he and I to new heights of pleasure.

“Definitely think,” he panted, lips against my ear, “that we need to frame your ass.”

Before I could even open my mouth to answer, my hands were in his once again, but he twisted my arms around to my back. He looped an arm through mine, settling the lock at the crooks of my elbows, decommissioning my movements once again. My hands opened and snapped shut, grasping as nothing as his thrusts intensified.

His other hand, still damp with paint, roamed over my breasts, massaging and pinching the bare skin. They had been previously coated, but knowing how meticulous Satoru could be, he made sure they were absolutely slathered in copious amounts of his paint.

He pressed me into the wall again, and I felt the paint stick to the surface in the shape of my breasts. My cheeks flamed at the thought of my entire body painted across the living room walls. But I knew that Satoru loved it, that he would be drooling over it until I decided to paint over the walls and adjust the hues to match the aesthetic that I was aiming for.

With his free hand finished with creating art out of my breasts, it traveled north, finding purchase around my neck like a piece of jewelry I’d always worn. He squeezed lightly and tilted my head back, just barely restricting my airway enough for my breath to come in rasps.

“Open up, darling.”

Like a robot, my jaw dropped and my tongue shot out, waiting for the familiar feeling of his spit. He didn’t leave me waiting long, as almost as soon as I obeyed him, his saliva was dribbling down onto my taste buds. I smiled lightly at the feeling, loving the fact that we could share this moment and label it as intimate.

“Swallow.”

My pussy fluttered around his length, eager to obey. A sigh escaped his lips as he watched my throat bob with the odd angle that it was working against. He planted a sweet kiss to my lips, his nose brushing against my chin. The contact was lost, then found again as he nuzzled his face against my neck for a moment, before pulling away again.

“Open.” His command seemed desperate, like it was the only thing keeping him from stepping off a ledge. As much as I wanted to make fun of his theatrics, my mouth snapped open, eager to have another part of him in me. He wasted no time, coating my tongue with his saliva.

“Now wait.”

The only thing I could do was whine as my jaw began to ache from holding my mouth open for so long. He released his hold on my throat, but in true Gojo fashion, wasted no time in executing his next movement. He swiftly looped an arm under my left leg, pulling it upwards until I felt like my hips would split in half. I squealed in discomfort, drool spilling from the corners of my lips, my body being bent a million different ways. For the first time in the afternoon, Satoru relented, releasing my arms.

My hands tangled in his hair as he bit into the soft skin of my neck, of my shoulders, back pressed against his chest. His dick, at this new angle, hit my sweet spot more perfect than before, if that was even possible. He went deeper, I squeezed him tighter, we were closer.

He thrusted into me, the tempo threatening to cast me into nothingness. With each movement I was pressed harder and harder into the wall, the paint sticking to the surface. It ached to pull me in, to suck me into the drywall, to the white paint that was still drying, now mixing with the two hues that Satoru and I decorated each other with.

“One more, baby,” he cooed against the reddened skin of my shoulder. “L-lemme cum… one more time… in you.”

“Anytime, ‘Toru,” I teased, but the playful lilt in my voice was lost as he didn’t hesitate to shoot his seed inside of me. I squealed at the way his cock jumped in me, knocking against the spot that was my downfall. His balls slapped against my clit, shoving me over the edge of an orgasm I didn’t know I was approaching.

My toes curled and cracked at the force in which the crest of pleasure hit me. My legs gave way and I lost control of myself for a moment, the drool I had been holding in my mouth spilling like a waterfall over my bruised lips. Satoru was quick to catch me, laughing at my frailty, which for once, I didn’t mind.

His lips were on my face, kissing and licking away the spit that had escaped the trap of my mouth. He supported me in a way I didn’t think I’d ever need, but surprisingly, I didn’t mind relying on someone for help. A warmness spread in my chest at the affirmation that I truly loved him - I loved him enough to not complain at him holding my drool-soaked and cumstained body limp in his arms.

“God, you are just so full of cum, aren’t you, baby?” Satoru purred into my hair, stroking it gently. I could only muster a weak “mmhm,” my body still shaking from the overstimulation and the last orgasm he unleashed on me. “Well, are you gonna let me taste?”

I didn’t have time to answer before he scooped me up in his arms, giving me the vivid sensation of flying. A coolness met my ass as he set me down on what I could only assume was the mantle of the fireplace. He spread my legs apart, ignoring the fact that they attempted to squeeze together to protect my weeping cunt from being stimulated further.

“S-satoru,” I winced, “I’m sensitive!”

It was no matter to him, however. He pulled my bottom slightly forward, so that my ass was teetering on the edge of the tile, giving him better access to my aching center. A loud cry escaped my lips as he gave my swollen clit a few soft licks.

I whimpered, my thighs trembling around him as he sucked on my impossibly sensitive bud. My hands tangled in his hair, the gummy paint clinging to it and clumping it together. After a few more moments of relentless stimulation, he seemed to ease up, giving way to softer movements against my weeping cunt.

“You should see yourself,” Satoru muttered against me. “Sitting like a queen.”

Perched like royalty on the furnishing that had given me enough trouble to start this whole session in the first place. I chuckled at the thought of it, at the sight of our past selves wrestling to coat each other in paint what seemed like days ago. It was fitting to end our love making where it began. Fitting to christen our house to be ours.

“Hah,” I breathed, “I can only imagine the sight.”

A sigh escaped his lips, the hot breath on my sensitive center making my legs twinge. His hands gently squeezed my thighs, each press planting flowers across my skin. The soft tufts of his hair tickled the inside of my legs as he nuzzled impossibly closer to my pussy.

“Spit in my mouth.” His request couldn’t have been more foreign, but I tried my best anyway. I leaned over, assuming that my trajectory would be right, or that he would make it work. Gathering the saliva in my mouth, I let it fall from my lips. A chuckle came from beneath me, so I assumed my aim was okay.

Our mixed spit was spewed from Satoru’s mouth as he spit it onto my already dripping cunt, the liquid leaking down between my asscheeks. I gasped at the sensation, beginning to lose feeling in my toes as another orgasm approached. My eyes shut tight, but even with the blindfold, fireworks still exploded in my vision.

I was definitely not going to be able to walk for a few days.

The thought drew a bitter laugh from my lips that was quickly cut short by Satoru’s dexterous tongue flicking across my clit. My teeth sunk so deep into my bottom lip that the skin threatened to tear. At his relentless pace, my muscles pulled impossibly tense, taut, as I sat, rigid, teeth bared as ungodly sounds poured from my mouth.

And then, he would soften. Pull back and kiss and lick the inside of my thighs, place love bites, suckle on the warm skin to leave marks I would marvel at for days. He’d massage the tender skin, draw patterns with the remaining paint. He’d study me like a scholar, memorizing the view of my exposed throat as my head tilted back, mouth open as moans spilled forth.

It was a cycle that he continued, pressing me further to my orgasm, then relenting to give me a break. Over and over again, never stopping, like I was the shore and he was the tide, pressing in and pulling away, constant, always present.

After what seemed like hours of edging, I was finally on the precipice of what I actually hoped was my last orgasm. My body couldn’t take much more, as I probably would stroke out or something else that was equally disastrous, but it would be something that would elicit an awkward urgent care visit.

“Satoru…” I whispered, not even needing to finish my sentence.

“One more time, love. Cum for me.”

The affirmation was all I needed before I gushed all over his face. His gasp of surprise was cut short as he dove right back in, ignoring the waterworks. My entire body shook with the force of my orgasm, sending my hands flying everywhere - into his hair, gripping the mantle, smearing paint all over the wall behind me.

But nothing was enough to ground me as I cut the tether and drifted off into space. My body floated, suspended at the force of this orgasm. I could barely feel Satoru’s warmth between my legs as the buzzing took over my entire body, my skin flush with pleasure as I feebly grinded on his tongue.

My pussy throbbed, achingly swollen at the multiple orgasms Satoru had guided me to. As this last one ebbed, he wrapped his arms tenderly around me, lifting me from the throne he had placed me on. He planted kisses on my head, on my forehead, on my cheeks as he carried me bridal style across the room, then gently plopped down on the ground.

I remained nestled between his legs, our fingers intertwined as we sat together, relishing in the closeness of each other. His mind-numbingly warm skin was pressed against mine, sending sparks firing off all across my body. After a few more moments of blissful silence, Satoru cleared his throat.

“Are you ready for the grand reveal?” His smile broke through the phrase like a sunbeam. I nodded, not feeling like using my voice. His dexterous fingers hooked under the blindfold as I shut my eyes tight, not wanting to hurt my eyes by immediately exposing them to the light.

After a few more moments, my eyes creaked open, blinking to clear away the crusty remains of tears and to focus on the sight that presented itself to me. The sun had dipped below the horizon, leaving the world cast into an eerie twilight that was so magical. It was the perfect lighting to behold the mural that we created in our living room.

Streaks of paint covered the walls, most of them completely indiscernible as to what part of the body they were made by, except for a few, such as our ass prints and the plumpness of my breasts. Heat rose to my cheeks at the sight of such an abstract portrayal of art, and how breathtakingly beautiful it was. I sunk further into Satoru, insanely grateful at his stupid antics and what they spiraled into.

“I guess I have to restart my paint job, huh?” I nudged him with my elbow, the gooey, sweaty skin sticking together. I tilted my head up, observing his reaction. Satoru furrowed his brows, his hair falling into his face in green clumps.

“I don’t know…” he trailed off, flashing an award-winning smile. “I kinda like it!”

He was right. The messy pieces of our love were growing on me as I studied them further. It was pure art, pure passion, splayed across the walls of our home. The handprints, clinging to nothingness in the hopes of being steadied. The smears, results of loving and pleasurable thrusts. The asscheeks, of course, the lovers who facilitated the beautiful creation.

A calm settled on me like nothing I had ever felt before. A sense of security folded in around me as I lay in my lover’s arms, proudly surveying what we had made together. I closed my eyes in bliss, relishing in the warmth and peace.

Wait…

My heart fell to my ass at an intrusive, yet irrevocably important fact. Eyes widening, I shot up, ignoring the chills that spread throughout my body in the absence of Satoru’s warm skin pressed against me.

“Shit!” I gasped, the detail that we had glossed over for the entire afternoon expanding to take up the entirety of my mind. “Kento’ll be here in an hour.”

Satoru laughed at my scrambling to pick up our clothes and throw them in a basket, trying my best to tidy up the living room. I put the paint together in a neat fashion; I smoothed the tarp, ignoring the imprints of our bodies and the paint smears that littered it; I also did my best to avert my gaze from the numerous pools of cum that were scattered across the floor. My eyes widened in horror at the thing that I was just marveling at - the one thing we couldn’t hide from our best friend.

The living room walls, like a subdued pornographic mural, stared back at me. The tarp crackled as my lover stood. I looked at Satoru, my eyes big as saucers. He smiled gently, taking my hands in his and pulling me closer to him, placing them on his chest.

“There’s nothing we can do to fix it, so let’s just get cleaned up, alright?” His arms wrapped around me, snuggling me to his chest. I sighed, turning my head to the side to hear his heart thumping. He planted a kiss on the top of my head.

“Okay,” I murmured, then peered up at him with a devilish grin, “but only if you join me.”

“That was implied!”

~~~

Once we had gone for another round in the shower and managed to scrape the paint off of our bodies, we were ready for the dinner that Kento was bringing. Earlier that day, he had offered to bring us food to celebrate the end of the first day of home renovation - which we eagerly accepted. Pizza was easy to clean up, and a viable way to recharge, so that was an easy decision to make.

A knock on the door sounded as soon as we were making our way down the stairs. Satoru took off in a sprint, reaching the front door in just a few strides. He threw it open, spreading his arms wide for a hug. I hung back, trying to avert my gaze from our living room mural.

“Nanami!” he yelled, embracing his friend despite the boxes of pizzas he was carrying. Kento’s eyes narrowed as he struggled to keep his balance at Satoru’s enthused greeting.

“Careful, Gojo!” the tall man growled, pushing Satoru away to keep the boxes from tumbling all across our porch. I laughed at their interaction, catching up to them and taking the boxes from Kento.

“How are you, y/n?” he asked, silently thanking me for taking his burden, but ignoring the fact that I left him with a bigger one instead. A playful smile toyed with my lips as a strand of wet hair fell into my face.

“Tired, but glad to have one day down,” I admitted, turning and leading the way to the kitchen. Satoru tsked as I set down the boxes of pizza on the kitchen table. I whirled around to face him, setting my hands on my hips.

“Now, y/n,” he began, voice chiding, as if speaking to a child, “you know you aren’t supposed to eat in the kitchen until the renovations are finished.

My heart fell into my stomach when I saw the expression on Satoru’s face. He was an absolute menace, looking to antagonize me in any way he could; however, I thought this ploy was geared more towards Kento’s discomfort. I gritted my teeth and decided to do my best to gear the conversation in a way that I wouldn’t have to expose our deeds. Blinking innocently, I fixed my mouth into a smile, trying not to look pained.

“What?”

“Yeah,” Kento agreed, walking to the table to grab the boxes of pizza, not knowing that he was playing directly into Satoru’s sick idea of a joke, “I actually heard that’s bad luck.”

I wanted to slap my palm into my forehead. As smart as Nanami was, he was almost always stroking Gojo’s ego whether he knew it, liked it, or not. I fired a glance at Satoru, pleading for him to not go through with this antagonizing, but he ignored me.

“Bad luck!” Satoru gasped dramatically, eyes widening as he wiggled his brows at me. A sigh escaped my lips as I cast him a warning glare instead. This, also, was a fruitless effort. Satoru was dead set on torturing his best friend.

“So where the hell are we supposed to eat?” I shot at Satoru, not even bothering to look at him anymore as I shuffled towards the two towering men. My grip had tightened, my nails digging into my palms.

“Uh, I dunno, the living room?”

“Satoru…” The tone in my voice would make a child cry. I trotted to the cabinet to scoop up paper plates and napkins to intercept him before he made another move to expose our afternoon.

“No, I wanna see it!” Nanami insisted, picking up the pizza boxes. The doors slammed shut behind me as I whirled around, seeing Satoru’s sly glance. I wanted to wipe the smile off his face. “Didn’t you say you were gonna paint it today?”

Satoru gently led him to the living room. I tried to catch up with them, but the tall men had long strides. My head was screaming for him to stop, but I didn’t want to draw attention to myself and make matters worse.

“Yes but-“

I was too late; Nanami and Gojo had already entered the living room. The boxes of pizza clattered to the floor as Nanami ripped off his goggles, eyes widening in horror at the sight of our bodies sloppily painted on the wall.

“What the fuck happened here?!”

201 notes · View notes

veliseraptor · 3 years

Text

got tagged for two fic writer memes yesterday! the one from @ameliarating first:

How many works do you have on AO3?

509.

What’s your total AO3 word count?

3,432,24. dang! that’s a lot of words

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

I have written for...counting the MCU as one fandom, on AO3 I have written for 32 fandoms, including at least one work in:

MCU, The Sillmarillion, Caliban Leandros, both DC and Marvel Comics, the book Barebacked by Kit Whitfield, Doctrine of Labyrinths, Doctor Who, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Star Wars, Black Jewels, Dragon Age, Lucifer, Dexter, Temeraire, Gentleman Bastard Sequence, Supernatural, A Song of Ice and Fire, Greek Mythology, Lymond Chronicles, Merlin BBC, Code Geass, Good Omens, Death Note, and White Collar.

this is not a comprehensive list of every fandom I’ve ever written for, because it is not including ones that live only on FFN or Livejournal.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Life In Reverse tops the list (11066), aka my 200k Loki-centric post-Thor AU fic that I wrote between 2012 and 2018 and with which I have a decidedly complex relationship at this point. I love it but also I no longer think it’s my best work but also I credit it with teaching me a fuck of a lot about writing and writing longer projects in general.

With Absolute Splendor is rapidly catching up, to my astonishment (6559), despite having been posted for less than half as long. Aka the wedding planning fic that’s really just me mucking about in my Jiang Cheng and my Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian feelings, at length.

some good mistakes (4618) was my first foray into the Untamed version of “characters who hate each other going on resentful roadtrips together, feat. Lan Wangji and Jiang Cheng.” I have gone on to write others and will continue to write more.

Unraveling (3069) is a little bit of a surprise but also not - it was originally just sort of WWP stuff for my ‘what if people remembered that blunt force trauma is a really bad thing actually’ problem that pops up sometimes, re: Loki at the end of The Avengers, and then it kind of turned into a whole thing. I personally think it’s the weakest of the installments of the series it belongs to, but it is the first one and also the one that gets least into the broader family dysfunction and depression stuff that probably is less everyone’s thing (but is what came out this fic that mattered more to me, personally).

I am a little surprised to see Steve Rogers’ Halfway House for Notorious Supervillains (3068) here too! I was expecting one of the more...idk, mainstream concepts from the MCU to win out? But I also wasn’t expecting two Untamed fics to make it here, either. But I am stupid proud of this fic even if it is very extraordinarily unfinished. This is one of those unfinished fics that will nag at me unless and until I finish it, at least a little, because the concept - if I do say so myself - is so goddamn good and I think I was executing it pretty well, too.

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Pretty much never. I was never very good at it and now I’d feel like I had to go back and reply to all of them and I just. I can’t do that. and when I do try to just start at the beginning I get overwhelmed very fast and start avoiding it.

Basically I decided that if it’s a decision between wrestling with myself to reply to comments versus actually doing more writing I’m going to end up landing on the latter as feeling both more doable and more productive.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

probably it’s The Worlds Forgotten, the Words Forbidden for sheer level of “so then what was the point” of it all. but like. I’ve definitely written a few extraordinarily miserable fics, and by “a few” I kind of mean “a lot.” Other nominees I’d put down might be nor autumn falter (for currently personally making me suffer most), once there was a way to get back home (for I think having the ouchiest summary), and Waiting for the Summer Rain (which remains one of my personal favorite Supernatural fics I wrote).

but like. there are 43 fics I have marked with Major Character Death warnings and every single one of those, pretty much, has a downer ending.

Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I have written several though not in a long time! My craziest probably remains the Morgoth/Cthulhu short I wrote that actually got sporked because someone took it seriously (???) enough to do that. But the craziest that actually has any merit, (I’d argue) is probably the Maeglin/Viserys one.

not linking to either, if you want to go find them I don’t think it’ll be that hard.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yeah, a few times on a few different things. More if you count “people who seem to like the fic but love telling you how much they hate the female characters you’re writing about in it” as ‘hate’ which I would but isn’t, you know, quite as straightforward. If I had a nickel for every time someone bitched about Jane in Life in Reverse, though...lots of nickels.

Do you write smut? if so what kind?

Sure do! But what does ‘what kind’ mean, I don’t know how to answer that question. I feel tempted to just put in my “Mike’s Hard Kinks” image edit in this space.

I guess usually I tend to write smut that at least involves a little bit of a kink? I don’t think I’d feel comfortable writing entirely kinkless smut. I think I’d feel weird about it, the same way I do when I write really nice fic, generally.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I think I did back when but I don’t remember anything about it. I feel like it was one of those mass data scraping things where my fic happened to be among those caught up in it.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have! several actually, mostly into Russian and Chinese. every time it happens I’m immensely flattered that someone wants to put in that kind of work on something I wrote.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I think I’d be very, very bad at it.

What’s your all time favorite ship?

Depends on when you ask me! I could probably give you a top five but then I’d remember six that I forgot to mention five minutes later. I guess if I were to think about ships that feel like they hold very special particular places in my heart... Xue Yang/Xiao Xingchen, Steve Rogers/Loki, and Min/Rand come to mind.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

oh god do you want the whole list cause honestly I could just like. screencap the entirety of my “in progress” folder with a crying emoji watermarked over it. and that’s not getting into the fics that are like...half formed babies in my consciousness but not anywhere on paper.

and also I just hate to admit that I might not finish something.

you know what? the Lucifer/Good Omens crossover I started would’ve been a lot of fun. I’m probably never going to finish it, but it would’ve been great if I had. I know other people did it too but my contribution could’ve been amazing.

I can say this very boldly with the near certainty that I’m not going to finish the fic so no one will be able to disagree.

(...also the Last Herald-Mage fix it. that was going to be a good fic too, and also will probably languish unfinished forever.)

What are your writing strengths?

I’m pretty sure dialogue is my strongest point. Dialogue and emotions, which is why I always end up just wanting to write about characters talking and having feelings at each other.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Writing action sequences throws me into conniptions every time I have to do it and I will take drastic actions sometimes to avoid doing it at all, which probably weakens the work as a whole.

Also, I don’t plan ahead and this means I write myself into corners kind of a lot. If I wasn’t writing long, dense fic it wouldn’t be a problem but here we are.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I tend to avoid it unless it’s in the context of, as in CQL/MDZS fic, leaving certain terminology untranslated. I’m pretty sure I almost never write full exchanges of dialogue in a different language than I’m using for the narration within a fic, and generally speaking my reaction to other people doing it is at least mildly negative.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter was technically the first fandom I wrote for, but it was a crack fic I wrote to make my friends laugh more than anything; I tend to count Wheel of Time as my first actual fandom for which I wrote my first actual fic.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

some days the answer is “all of them” and some day the answer is “I don’t like anything I’ve written in my entire life” and I never like giving this a definitive answer. yesterday I reread efforts in a common cause (the bound copy!! thanks @spockandawe) and you know what, that was a good fic and I’m proud of it, so I’m going with that one, for this meme, today.

tagging: @mostfacinorous, @jaggedcliffs, @silvysartfulness, @mikkeneko, @kasasagi-eye, @curiosity-killed, how many people am I supposed to tag for this one anyway

#lise memes #confessions of a frustrated writer

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anon-rebel-writes · 3 years

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WIP Wednesday!

Hello everyone! I hope you are having an extraordinary Wednesday!

I’ve noticed a pattern in my posts; I feel like I always over-explain myself every single time I post anything. Whelp, today is no exception XD

So I don’t know if anyone realized that I didn’t post anything for “Six Sentence Sunday”, unfortunately that was not a mistake. I didn’t work much on anything for the weekend, so it didn’t make sense to post something.

My weekend was extremely exhausting and yet not productive at all XD I only managed to add about 300 words to “Potion Madness” (the title is also a WIP XP). Luckily, after a whole weekend (and a couple of extra days) of little progress, I finally worked on something!

Y’know, the more I write this story, the more I realize I may never be finished with it. A huge part of me wants to write a whole second act, but another huge part of me wants to work on the act I haven’t even finished yet XD

So... that’s my explanation for this post XD Does anyone even read these? I feel like I could say something here and no one would notice (Honestly that’s probably for the best, I read these posts days later and am always concerned for Past Rebbie XP)

(Also quick side note before I move on to the good stuff, I want to quickly apologize for not being super active on here! There’s so much great artwork and fics that I haven’t been able to reblog or read or anything yet. I swear I want to, but college is starting up again soon and that’s been my main focus. Just wanted to keep everyone updated! Life is hard, so make sure to touch the grass every now and then! :D)

Anyways, the snippet begins under the cut! <3

The crystal ball finally cleared up and Juleka appeared, looking extremely bothered.

“Mari, you’re my friend and everything, but I’mma be honest, now isn’t a great time.”

Deep groans and sighs of pain could be heard in the background. A cold chill ran down Marinette’s back as she remembered the last time she interrupted Juleka’s spells. Her magic was a lot more dark than anything Marinette ever tried.

“Sorry, Jule. It’s just... well uh...”

Her eyes moved above the crystal ball and met Luka’s eyes. He quickly shook his head and moved his arms into an ‘X’.

“It’s what? Marinette-”

“You wouldn’t happen to have any hawk feathers lying around, would you?”

Juleka’s eyes squinted as her arms crossed over her torso. “That depends, what are you mixing them with?”

On one hand, Luka needed to be turned back to normal, and not just for his benefit. Having the guy you like wrap himself around you sounds a lot better in theory than in practice. She honestly didn't know how much longer she could take this.

On the other hand, Juleka was evil. Her finding out Luka got turned into a half-snake person would result in lots of intense tormenting. Juleka was extremely sly when she wanted to be. Marinette could already see the trauma Luka would go through if she found out.

All this to say, this made telling her the second ingredient very hard, it would be obvious what potion she was making. It didn’t take a genius to know that mixing a hawk feather with crab claws would make a simple curing potion.

“Wait a minute, wasn’t Luka supposed to be with you today?”

Marinette’s thoughts screeched to a halt. Her eyes snapped to Luka. His hands raked through his hair, making it look extremely soft and fluffy. If his dignity wasn’t on the line (and the situation wasn’t so strange) she wanted to run her fingers through those beautiful blue tips.

Honestly she almost forgot what was happening until Luka quickly started mouthing to her, ‘Change the topic!’ She stared back at Juleka and gave her best fake smile.

“Luka? Who’s Luka?”

Why was she like this?

“Uh-”

“NECROMACY! I’m trying to make a simple necromancy potion but Luka forgot to bring the hawk feathers needed for it! That's why I need you to send some over! No other reason!”

Juleka slowly blinked, it seemed like she was trying to piece something together. Her dark eyes turned sharp as her gaze wandered over the crystal ball, as if Marinette was being interrogated (which she kinda was).

“You, Marinette Dupain-Cheng, want to learn a necromancy spell? Huh... Honestly, I’m kinda offended you didn’t ask me to help you since I literally major in Necromancy. But fine, I’ll send over a box of Hawk feathers.”

Both Marinette and Luka visibly relaxed. At least now they were one step closer to fixing Luka. Marinette leaned towards to crystal ball to kiss the glass, “Thank you, Jule! You’re a life-saver!”

“Yeah yeah. Also, can you do me a favor? Tell Luka that if he was trying to hide the fact that he’s naga, he should’ve hidden his tail better.”

The crystal ball quickly dimmed as the connection cut off, leaving the two teens alone once again. Luka groaned and leaned against the back wall, covering his face with his hands. “I’m never gonna live this down.”

“Wait a minute, sneeple are called nagas?”

#wip #wip wednesday #magic au #magic shenanigans #potions #lukanette #pro lukamari #luka couffaine #marinette dupain cheng #I really need to finish this XD #sneeple #mage au #fantasy au

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starlight-vixen-emiko · 3 years

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WIP Wednesday 3/3/2021

Hello everyone welcome to my first WIP Wednesday......Even though it’s close to midnight here in California but anyway--I promised the readers a solo Adrigami fanfic and I am currently writing one. I felt I should give the readers my work in progress, I hope you guys enjoy.

Also to note, this fanfic is anti Adrienette just to warn people.

~~~~

Well that Valentine's date with Marinette didn't go as Adrien had planned. And he prepared a lot as well by snagging his father's cologne and wearing a flashing black and red tuxedo. They had a nice view of the city lights on the balcony and Marinette looked absolutely lovely.

And it was a fun date, but even while Adrien was happy be couldn't help but notice Marinette squirm and look a bit nervous. He wondered if it was the food or maybe his cologne was too much. But suddenly Marinette would giggle and smile and Adrien would just tell himself that he was overreacting.

Marinette did indeed fact enjoy the food but when Adrien moved his lips closer to Marinette that's when she suddenly panicked a bit. Adrien pulled away, apologizing even if he did feel a bit betrayed.

He thought she wanted to date him really badly, and Adrien was so flattered that he started to consider her feelings.

Marinette apologized as well but she could barely look at him in the eye due to how guilty she looked.

Adrien took a deep breath and calmly and sincerely asked her what was bothering her.

Marinette could barely give him an answer herself.

Adrien knew he couldn't force her but after a painful wait Marinette finally said, "Maybe this isn't exactly what I wanted."

Adrien was hurt of course, but not just because she changed her mind, but because she idealized dating himself.

Marinette apologized again. "I'm sorry Adrien! I truly thought I wanted to date you I truly did!"

Adrien didn't feel like she was completely lying but something that crossed his mind was a certain charming, handsome blue haired boy with a guitar.

"Marinette," Adrien said.

Marinette shamefully said nothing.

Adrien looked down in defeat. "Maybe…"

"Maybe the person you actually like is Luka."

Marinette blushed hard but she didn't say anything, not that she needed too.

Adrien sighed, this truly did suck for him but he had to accept defeat. He lifted his head and gave Marinette a sincere smile to try to rid her of the guilt on her face.

"Come on, I'll take you home."

So the date ended quietly but Adrien was left with a whole pound of unused red roses in his room. When he got home some of them were crushed and ruined.

Adrien just wanted to burn all the roses along with this disappointing night but with a cool head just discarded the ruined ones and vowed he would make use of the others.

He then turned away from the red roses and then threw himself on his bed and grabbed his phone from the nightstand.

Adrien looked through his social media to see what his friends were up to. Nino and Alya seem like the model couple, Kim and Chloe looked like they were having fun in their own special special way, Marinette looked inactive. He just wanted to check on Marinette really.

And Luka. Luka looked as suave and cool as ever looking as if his aura was visible in a photo of him playing guitar on a live stage.

Adrien sighed, it was no wonder Marinette likes him more, he was always more cool and collected and Adrien was a rich boy with multiple insecurities.

Adrien put his phone down tonight hoping to at least sleep off this holiday peacefully.

~~~~

The next day at school Adrien sat by Nino because he wanted a friend. But Nino knew Adrien was a part of the misery loves company club right now. Even so Nino was happy to spend time with Adrien.

"Alya already told me that Marinette wasn't interested," Nino said. "I am really sorry man." Nino gave Adrien a gentle shove on the shoulder.

Adrien tried to snap himself out of it.

"No need to feel sorry for me!" Adrien forced a smile. "Valentines Day is just another one of those commercial holidays!"

Nino laughed. "With lots of sweets and sweethearts!"

Adrien groaned. "I just need a friend right now…"

"Sorry…" Nino said. "And I am sure Marinette didn't mean to ruin Valentines Day. She is a nice girl, she is just only human."

Adrien slumped and rested his chin over his hands. "I'll get over it...Just give me a year in a half." He remarked bitterly.

Nino looked at his phone and then back at Adrien. "Hey, maybe after school you can come get ice cream with Alya and me. I will insist Andre will give us a triple scoop so the three of us will always be bonded."

Adrien turned to Nino, liking the idea of togetherness.

"I am sure hazelnut and strawberry will suit us well, and pistachio for you." Nino licked his lips at the thought.

Adrien scanned the crowd of students letting his mind go on autopilot but then his ears filled with the sound of excited girls. He was a bit astonished thinking something frightening happened but the girls were really greeting a family girl with shiny black hair.

Adrien's mouth went agape. "Kagami?"

"What's wrong Adrien?" Nino asked.

Nino tried to study Adrien's expression but Adrien just looked like he was in a daze.

Then Nino saw a group of girls greeting a beautiful girl with short black hair. Instead of the usually Japanese school girl uniform she wore she wore blue shorts and a red blouse.

"Is that Kagami?" Nino said.

Then Nino realized this is why Adrien was in a trance.

Adrien then gasped in realization. "I didn't expect Kagami to return from Japan now!"

"Yeah," Nino said. "And during Valentines too, she probably didn't get a chance to go on a date."

Adrien picked himself up to walk over to his old friend.

"Careful Adrien, you shouldn't fall too fast right now," Nino said.

Adrien knew Nino had a point but his heart was going a hundred miles per hour. The blonde hair boy stopped and turned to his best friend. "I should at least welcome her back," a soft blush was on Adrien's face.

Nino smiled. "All right man, second time is the charm."

Adrien made an ok sign and turned back to Kagami who was happily talking with some other girls. Adrien was a mix of excited and nervous as the entire world around him looked brighter, then again the gray clouds were clearing up and sun rays were popping out.

The girls said their goodbyes to Kagami and then Kagami turned to the blonde haired boy. Her brown eyes lit up along with her smile which caused Adrien's happy face to distort and how pretty she was.

But Adrien didn't notice the skateboard that slid under his foot and he ended up falling forward.

"Adrien!"

Kagami ran over and knelt beside him. "Are you alright?"

Adrien's mild pain was soothed by her voice but then he realized how much of a donkey he looked like in front of her.

"Ouch!" Adrien cried, his leg was stinging. "I'll be fine!" A skilled fencer like himself was made for this type of pain.

He looked up and she smiled down on him as she held out her hand. Adrien took her hand and with the strength of a kendo player helped him up with little cooperation from him.

Adrien quickly swept up any dust on his pants.

"How have you been? I really missed you," Kagami said.

Adrien placed his hand behind his neck. "Oh, just barreling through life I guess."

Kagami giggled. "Sounds like fun."

"More like funny for everyone else," Adrien remarked bitterly.

Kagami giggled which helped sweeten Adrien's sour mood. The two of them smiled at each other which caused both of them to blush.

~~~~

Stay tuned for the finished product!

Honestly I really enjoyed writing Adrien and Nino friendship I should do that more often.

#adrigami #anti adrienette #fanfiction #wip wednesday #my writing #just a bit of lukanette as well

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kamotoshi · 3 years

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so here we are on day 2 of what I thought was gonna be a week long break bc I had an epiphany that I suddenly felt the desire to share! so if you wanna read maybe like settle in bc I kinda wrote a lot (but is that new? no)

my brain! she doesn’t understand how to like... take something she likes and just enjoy it. everything always has to be a project or a task to be finished or a goal to reach. I’ve never been like hey my name’s fran and I like writing fanfiction! it’s always been hey my name’s fran and I like writing fanfiction so I'm gonna force myself to constantly come up with fic ideas and push out content bc I must be a workhorse and I don’t understand that not everything has to be methodical and meticulously planned and perfect!

I literally took writing (something I enjoy) and turned it into work (something I very much do not enjoy) all bc of this restless brain of mine and my extremely present anxiety that almost requires that I do something to prevent a crisis like every second of the damn day. I'm v tired of agonizing over both what I am doing and what I'm not doing. it’s exhausting when you’re already waiting for the time when you can go back to bed again the instant you get up lol

so I’m just gonna change my perspective here! I'm gonna try to stop guilting myself for every wip that sits without any additional progress being made, and for each one I knock off the list bc I'm just not that into it anymore. I'm gonna try to stop telling myself I HAVE to make content in order to make y’all happy. I'm gonna try to silence the little negative voice that always pops into my head each time I read or see something great that says “damn what happened with you, huh?” I'm gonna stop trying to measure my success by how many followers I have or how much work I do bc this is literally FOR FUN and it’s something I do IN MY FREE TIME bc it’s meant to be ENJOYABLE.

and! I'm gonna stop takin this blog so damn seriously! like shit! if I'm here, I'm here and I'm chattin/writin, and if I'm not, I'm not! who tf do I think I am like damn!!! we’re all just out here! doing our own things! goin for it! doin that! it’s all good! (like we really owe each other nothing in the grand scheme of it all if we're bein 100% honest here)

anyway I went thru a similar revelation with the whole notes crisis (in which notes became another success metric for me) but now I dont give a rat’s ass which is saying A LOT (bc I'm secretly an attention whore. maybe not as secretly as I think tho). I write my fics and I send em out into the cyberspace to be free bc as long as I enjoyed it then we’re good! and the whole reason I'm here in the first place is to share things in the hopes that maybe someone else likes it too! whatever happens happens! bc I sure as hell know I'll go back and gas myself up on somethin that only got like five notes!!

the productivity loop that I am stuck in (as well as many other members of society) is seriously powerful. and I know it’s gonna take a LOT of effort on my part to wrestle the controllers to my life away from bully! fran who’s stubborn and angry like the lil bull she is, but! I have hope bc I'm at least willing to try.

so, after I've just said I aint gotta explain shit to nobody, here I am explaining my shit to y’all *head in hands* BUT I'm writing this bc I felt like it, bc I'm ready to hold myself accountable, and just to put things into perspective for a sec. if you read this far I'll say “damn you must kinda like me huh 🥺” at the risk of sounding like the dude who says “in the shower? without me?”

with that being said, I'll be around when I'm around! come to my inbox whenever you want, I keep extra pillows and blankets and s'mores-building kits in there for whenever y’all wanna camp. I'm hoping my blog can continue to be a positive space for everyone to sit back and watch me clown myself unapologetically 😌 thank you for comin to my ted talk

#fran's ramblin #click the read more for a rant lmfao #I really popped off #but to be fair there's been a lot on my mind that I really wanted to just get off my chest #like I literally feel so much better now that ive written this #idc who reads it I'm just happy it was said #and that my brain has now registered the fact that we are going to switch to a more positive mindset #*or try to at least #anyway daily reminder I love yall #and I'm still gonna figure out how tf to actually maintain a queue for the sake of my sanity #tw anxiety

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bnha-scenarios · 3 years

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☕️ Special Thanks ☕️

As always, thank you so much for the coffee! Your kindness are very much appreciated! ♡

Emilija | Regan | Nela Kovaříková | 1 Anon

Onwards to the progress update.

I had. So. Many. Things. That I actually wanted to complete.

… Alas, work decided to be a bitch and swamp me with things to take care of. To put it simply, there were a lot of issues that caused a lot of overtime work even on weekends, so I had to step away from coding most of the time so I won’t burn myself out.

So yeah, I didn’t manage to complete a lot of features, though I did dabble on some stuff here and there. I’m not happy with the rather small progress either. But life happens, and there are just other things that are more important sometimes. So we just have to let it go and look forward to the next month!

I’d say that this month I was quite productive in terms of organization and planning instead of the actual coding. I have at least identified what I need to write for the ‘free activity’ time of the game, which makes about 30-40% of the gameplay itself. However, actually writing the scenes and executing it is a different effort altogether, which I have only started to embark on.

Still, it’s crazy to think that the development for the full game has been actively going for around three and a half months now. Whew. Knowing that I have a tendency to hyperfocus and then get tired of something after a short time frame, I’m going to at the very least give myself a pat on the back for still keeping this project up and running until now.

More details below ↓

Added Route: Kirishima

Let me preface this first with a declaration: I won’t be adding any more love interest after this. Please please please don’t make me do it 😅 Going through all the plans and re-setting up things to figure out how to add him in was such a painful experience…

But anyway. I will be adding this boy’s route to the full game, because a lot of people seem to want to have him in the game. He does seem like a fun character to write, so I thought I’ll give him a chance.

Gameplay

Places, Schedules, and Hanging Out with the Boys

I think you would have noticed from the last two devlogs, but there are several activities you can do in-game. One of them is to visit a place of your choice at a certain time in a day.

Some places can be unlocked when you reach a certain threshold in a specific stat, and there are others which will be unlocked when you reach a specific threshold in a character’s affection meter. Nai will message you whenever you manage to unlock a new place to visit, so keep a lookout for that!

But what happens when you visit a place?

Well, each character has their own schedules -- which you should be able to figure out either by coincidence or by talking to them at school when prompted to do so. Your Quirk will allow you to see the unlocked schedule of each of the characters, so my advice would be to check it out before deciding where to go! If you manage to come to a specific place at the correct time, you will bump into them. Normally, this will trigger a set of actions you can perform: Talk, Action, and Skinship.

Talking is a safe way to increase your love interest’s affection meter, especially in the first half of the game. More topics can be unlocked under some requirements. Generally, it doesn’t matter where you are, the topics you can talk about will be the same. There are topics which might trigger different reactions depending on how high your love interest’s affection is, so have fun finding them! However, be warned that most topics can be selected only once!

Action is another safe way to further increase your love interest’s affection meter. Unlike talking, different places have a different set of actions you could select from. More actions can also be unlocked under some requirements. Responses to this doesn’t exactly change based on the character’s current affection level, and it’s not limited to one time only.

Skinship is a riskier way to boost the affection meter: simply put, it’s a high gain with a high risk. Consider the character’s current affection level when you’re selecting from this list! He might not like it if you go touchy-feely when you’re not that close yet.

On the other hand, when his affection is high enough, you’ll find that you can have a lot of fun choosing the various options here. So be smart, bide your time, and have fun ;)

And that’s not all! Interaction is a two-way street, so depending on how your love interest views the main character, he will initiate Talk, Action, or even Skinship. There’s a lot of variations in here, and I hope you’ll have fun with this mechanic! I certainly am having fun while also pulling out my hair out of frustration designing this and trying to put the mechanism to control this into code…

Progress-wise, I think at the very least the functions for controlling this specific mechanic have been 80% completed. The actual writing however, is another story. There are still hundreds that I still haven’t had the time to write yet, and most of them are not yet coded in. Those who have been coded in still don't have sprites and music, so really, I’ll just say that the writing progress for this part is less than 1% completed….

On the left is the currently WIP full game project, with what I would say around 2-4% dialogue scripted in. And on the right side is the completed demo project.

…. Can you see how much effort the whole game is going to take me now? I did say to strap in and relax, cause this is going to be a long ride. And I wasn’t kidding lol

"Nai"

Although throughout the first week, the story will flow as your environment / characters around you teaches you on how the game works, I’m aware that the game mechanics might be hard to understand for casual players who aren’t too used to playing otome games (or games in general). Which is pretty much why I’m giving you a ‘helpline’ of some sort, in the form of another character.

Why a character? Because I can and I want to. Shush 😆

If you’ve played the demo, chances are, you’ve encountered a name which you had no recollection of existing in the canon My Hero Academia universe. Well, you’re right. Like the player’s character, Nai (full name: Namae Nai / 名前ない) doesn’t exactly exist in the canon universe, but she’s here to help you throughout the game. (She’s also there because if she wasn’t, 1-A class members becomes odd number in total and that just feels weird to me -- plus, the team exercise system in Heroics wouldn’t exactly make sense if the class has odd number of students)

For those of you who hate Original Characters with a passion (why tho), you don’t need to worry too much. She won’t be an intrusive character in the plot and will mainly not contact you unless she really has to (seriously, her full name literally means ‘no name’, so give her a break, ok?). And if, even then, you still hate her, well.... Too bad you won’t be able to enjoy the game, I guess.

For those of you who don't mind her existence: I hope you’ll take a liking to her dark sense of humor and appreciate her helping you get through the game!

Others

Fixed some bugs regarding unlocking Special Moves from certain activities and games.

Played around and customized the ‘input name’ for a little bit, so it wouldn’t awkwardly sit on the bottom of the screen. I have 0 talent in designing UI though, so the background still stays as a black screen -- but at least it looks more prominent now.

Added a little sign to indicate which route the player has entered. I think it’s pretty cute! Hopefully you’ll like it.

Assets

Those who follow me on Twitter would have seen this coming, but anyway, I’ll be using TMGS OSTs as the main character theme for the four love interests. Hush hush, okay?

Other than that, unfortunately I didn’t have time to do any assets gathering this month.

Writing

Nothing much to say here. I think I managed to script around 50% of the events in the first day, but honestly I’m not completely satisfied with it so I might go back and tweak them a bit. Still a lot of scenes to be written!

Plans for December

I'm not too sure whether there would be much progress for the next two months, since there are so many things happening and deadlines to be met at work, which is making me really unmotivated to do other side projects in my free time lately. I also feel like I haven't been taking care of my health enough ever since quarantine started, so I'm trying to get back into doing more exercises and looking for healthier food options, which also cuts into my free time and motivation I guess.

With that said, I'll still at least aim for getting some scripts coded in -- particularly for the events in day 1. Other than that, maybe hopefully some assets gathering for supporting Kirishima's newly added route, and finishing up the coding parts that I was unable to finish this month.

I'll see y'all again at the end of next month!

#my hero academia #boku no hero academia #mha #bnha #heroaka #midoriya izuku #bakugou katsuki #todoroki shouto #otomegameproject #wnha

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hoopdiddies · 5 years

Text

I'm Not Over You // Ben Hardy x Reader (Part 10)

A/N: I am so sorry that I have not been on for a full week. The phone I had used to edit this in broke and I had to buy a new one plus this is the last chapter and apparently the longest, regardless of my recent claims of the previous ones being the longest lmao. I hope this won't disappoint, I couldn't think of a more consistent flow due to the days I've been without my phone to type some ideas in. I hope you guys will enjoy this last part anyway, and thank you so much for supporting this entire series! I have a new series in mind but it's a WIP. Thanks again for all the love! IMPORTANT NOTE: I WILL BE CUTTING A PART IN THIS CHAPTER AND PUTTING IT UNDER A PART 10.1 IMMEDIATELY AFTER I POST THIS FOR THE SAKE OF THE LIMIT. TAGS WILL BE MENTIONED IN THE COMMENTS

Summary for this part: A wedding brought you apart and it will be a wedding that will bring you back together.

Warnings: A good balance of fluff and angst, mention of injuries and alcohol and some long ass writing.

WC: A whopping 10k

Parts: 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

You are painfully a feet away from the door and yet here you are, frozen after having turned 180 degrees only to stumble upon those eyes you had hoped to gaze into again. One swallow from you and you begin gliding along the tiled surface towards him, checking through every pad whether or not he's really awake.

After stopping at his side, you are now certain you're not anywhere close to dreaming. "Ben?" His name leaving your lips like an answered prayer. He's staring back at you with his left eye half-open – taking into account his current sensitivity to light– but with the same energy he exudes everytime you're together.

His chapped lips curl into a smile so slow yet so sweet at the same time; almost an upgrade to his classic 'Benny beam' which you had fun dubbing back in the days. "Y/N..."

And once again, you disrupt the orderly function of your tears and let them gush down, quickly but carefully wrapping your arms around him in bittersweet joy, exclaiming his name thrice into his hospital gown. "You...you bloody idiot! I thought you'd never wake up..."

Having just woken up from a coma, his voice comes out extra breathy and brittle but full of life, chuckling at how you're greeting him back into the conscious world. "Is that...is that how you welcome your best mate back?"

You shake your head ardently, sniffling against his chest and taking in the scent of mint. "Shut up. You frightened us!"

He really wakes up seconds before the clock strikes 'it's too late'. The convenience is hardly believable.

"I'm gonna call the doctor and tell him you're up." You act swiftly on your feet but a grip as strong as you least expected it to be hinders you from taking a step away and you turn around at Ben who's woven his fingers around yours. You give him a concerned yet quizzical look for it.

He sighs deeply, closing his logy eyes for a brief moment before opening them to you– gazing up at you meaningfully as he draws you close with the little, physical strength he has left. "You frightened me, rather."

"What... are you talking about?"

You won't admit it now but the way his fingers are currently snaked around yours could make your heart palpitate any second now.

His green eyes bore into yours effectively, suddenly invalidating your surroundings and making it seem like it's just you and him on the face of the entire planet.

He struggles to swallow before repeating. "You frightened me. You're still leaving..."

His voice crack as he said 'leaving' obliterates the fragments of what was once your soul, punching a gaping hole as a replacement. How is he able to remember your emotional outburst at the after party when he has just woken up and should at least forget a few details?

But then you realize you've been talking to him a lot as he was out of order.

You nod unfortunately, laying your hand on his which is still fondling your other one. His skin has warmed up a notch and that's a progress. You need to clarify this to him again since the last time you did, you both ended up in disarray and in the middle of the road.

"I...I've already told you everything."

"I don't wanna- I don't wanna lose you."

"Ben..." You cut off as your hopeless gazes meet like lightning, his irises darkening at the manner in which your eyes have transfixed on his.

"Please..."

Worried that his stable condition might shift due to the rising agitation he's showing, you sit beside him and bring his knuckles up to your lips, hearing the beeping of the heart monitor quicken which sounds incredibly alarming, an indication that his heart rate has elevated due to his induced stress.

You press your lips into his pale knuckles with your eyes thoroughly shut hoping to soothe him through it, tears trickling from your cheeks and onto the back of his hand as you choke on your words. "Ben...come on. You know I can't stay, you have to understand that."

He slowly shakes his head, biting his bottom lip as he grimaces at the bitterness, softly but agonizingly begging for you to reconsider. "You have to. Please, love. I need you to. I want you to."

Do the short term effects include stubbornness? Cause he's really determined to get you to stay no matter what. Joe must be tortured with waiting by now and at any given moment, he's bound to consider barging in.

You kind of hope he would. God, you should be out there notifying his attending physician about his regained consciousness and for goodness sake, Rosy ought to be here for this. She can't just wander out whenever she likes when her fiance's an injured man struggling to recover.

While keeping his trembling knuckles close to your lips, you move closer and question him, your voice downsizing to an unsteady whisper. "Why? Ben, I'm leaving primarily to pursue a career. Not just because of some heartbreak, this is a dream come true. I'm finally a stair close to reaching it. Why aren't you at least happy for me?"

"I am..."

"Then you have to let me go."

"It's not that easy..."

"Do you think it's any more easier for me? No! But this is what must be and you have to trust me on this," it's as if your heart is in your mouth from feeling so harrowed by all of this, but you have to make him see that this is the only way and that it is also important that you leave, "I'm sorry if I said some things that night that weren't exactly the way I felt. But I have to leave. You're getting married to Rosy soon, you know. Don't worry about me..."

He wishes he could just sit up with ease and cage you in his arms but all his incapacities at the moment are inhibiting him from doing so. Knowing he can't do anything about it emotionally deflates him.

He withdraws his hand a little and presses it to your flushed cheek, kneading your delicate skin as he shakes his head gently to prevent the dressing around his head from becoming less taut.

"I think I know well enough who I want to marry now..."

You can't distinguish what present beating has accelerated; the heart monitor's, your own heart, or at best both. But you're sure as hell his words weren't a product of your own imagination, your eyes drifting from one of his orbs to the other in a daze, looking for any sign that would prove that it's not you he's directed it at but it does otherwise.

"What are you saying?"

The skin of the front of his neck moves along as he swallows dryly to assure you the realness of his words, his thumb traveling up your face to wipe the moist corner of your eye. "I'm a bloody wanker for taking so long to see...that you're the one who has always kept me grounded, who has always made me feel more like myself. Even as far as making me feel like I don't need all this fame to lead a good life, " his breath shortens between each sentence and your jaw goes slack as he exploits the atmosphere to continue, eyes buried deep into yours as if the space in between doesn't even matter anymore.

"I'm an idiot...for not realising sooner that it's always been you."

"Ben-"

"I love you too, Y/N L/N, more than the way I used to. How could I ever be happy without you? We promised neither of us is going anywhere, right? "

Definitely not in the context of mere friendship. For a moment, you make it your quest to find your voice to react and you do.

"You can't. You can't- I mean, what about Rosy? Surely your feelings for her wouldn't just go away like that-"

"It's been doused for so long with the ones for you growing," he's thumb is now gingerly stroking circles on your cheek, the green in his eyes gleaming, "that dance at the after party put me in my place and I asked you if you were still coming to my wedding because...it was my way of telling you how I felt at that moment."

Despite the idea coming off a little incoherent, you immediately get the bottom line. It would've been like coming to your own wedding. You study his gaze confusingly before coming to believe that he actually does love you back in the way you always have.

The words have been built up from the moment he whipped out his share of the polaroid and reestablished his promise as the way he felt towards you took a dramatic turn.

Yet no matter how badly you want to stay and finally work some things out with him, he's engaged and you're leaving in 45 minutes.

And what of Rosy? Hopefully Ben wouldn't think of just fragmenting her like that.

Your deafening silence puts Ben under a heap of worry as he painfully anticipates for your reaction. You shake your head at the unlikelihood of your present situations, bringing your eyes shut as you respond in the only way you can without any words needed to express how sorry you are and how much you've waited for him to say it.

Against your better judgement, you lean your body towards him and catch him off guard with the most bittersweet, goodbye kiss anyone could ever exercise on a moment's notice.

You can tell his positive response with how rapid the heart monitor pulses are becoming and how his lips have begun moving passionately against yours.

His eyes flutter shut in return, tangling his fingers in your hair as he dares to deepen the kiss, eager to feel every inch of your lips as he knows that you still won't be staying after this.

Wait for me to come home...

You pull away catching your breaths as you rest your forehead on his, his hand stroking the back of your hair for the little time you have left in your hands.

This feels so wrong yet so right at the same time. Howbeit strong the desire to stay put, you break away before the spark between either of you becomes magnetizing enough to change your mind.

"Please tell me where you're going...please." He pleads yet you refuse to tell him where you're headed to avoid a fuss, shaking your head apologetically with the space between you both increasing.

"I'm so sorry." You whisper, retreating quickly to the door as you ignore his broken pleas and just in time to be welcomed by the doctor, Rosy and some nurses who are here to conduct another assessment. Your pulse picks up at the sight of an uneasy Rosy along with an extra glimpse of a tuft of red and a head of blonde hair overtopping from behind her, eager to check up on whatever is occurring.

Joe and Lucy.

You clear your throat as you utter quickly to the doctor, unable to set your gaze steady. "He's awake." Your update stirs them to hasten on their steps inwards and you don't bother to stop to give Rosy a glance as she brushes by you, with you feeling the slightest, if not an immense amount of guilt for kissing her fiance– your best friend, who now has to make a troubling choice in choosing between you and her. Most importantly, you wouldn't dare to contend with Rosy over this, you'd rather let it happen naturally and see where it would lead but that's the least of your priorities.

You've whizzed a meter past Joe and Lucy but freeze in your spot at Joe's frail call of your name, your shoulders relaxing after a brief pause. "Y/N...how did- how did it go?"

You remain static in your spot, just wanting to leave the building and basically see past everything.

"Let's just go."

Of course he and Lucy half expected your last conversation to be balanced on a scale of nonchalant to vehement but it went off the boundary of vehemence. With one more look at the closed door, the two catch up with you on your way out with a plan on revisiting Ben on their way back from the airport.

You lengthen the sleeve of your sweater and dab your eyes with it, striding towards the car and slipping into passenger's seat gracefully with the two trailing from behind. Once they climb in after you, they begin bombarding you with questions you'd expect them to drop but being so exhausted from all of drama just lessens your likelihood of elaborating your answers. With a few questions dismissed, you ask Joe to just step on it and he complies sadly.

Lucy gives you a sympathetic, lopsided smile and however stagnant your expression is at the moment, you return the favor as the car accelerates on the road ahead.

You bother to give the distancing hospital one last look; giving him one last look.

At the same time the doctors are asking Ben some questions and performing a few physical tests on him, you make it to the airport with some time to spare. Joe and Lucy accompany you into the waiting area agreeing to stick around just until your flight number is announced.

Propping your luggage bag against a vacant seat next to the ones Joe and Lucy are seated on, you dig through your pocket and pull your phone out to check if there are any calls you've slept on. So far nothing of the sort but a dozen texts from friends and acquaintances wishing you the best on your flight to Spain, though you still have to return to London to collect your essentials.

Their words coax a small smile on your lips and after pressing the button to your home screen, the wallpaper brings a small tear to your eye– you and Ben with your arms wrapped around each other beaming goofily at the shutter of the camera.

In this instance, you begin wondering why photos and pictures

have become such a recurring emblem in your friendship. Joe and Lucy notice the sadness spring out of your eyes and cloud your features as you gaze one last time at your phone, and they instantly figure out what you were looking at. Lucy gets up and turns you around softly by the shoulder, prompting you to talk it out to them prior to leaving. If it unloads the stresses you're under then you agree to it, telling them what went on inside the room not too long ago.

Upon mentioning the bit where Ben confessed to you and was insistent on not letting you leave, Joe breathes out a firm, "I knew it" and Lucy shakes her head incredulously at Ben's 'perfect' timing but overall they're both glad he's opened his eyes– in a metaphorical and physical sense– to the person who has always been worthy of that spot in his life. As your conversation comes to a close, the announcement of the boarding of your flight number limits your bittersweet goodbyes however you do promise that you'll call them as soon as you touchdown.

"You better do well out there! Don't forget to call us every once in a while. Or everyday, damn it!" Joe calls out after blowing multiple kisses to you, he and Lucy bidding you an effective farewell. You wave back at them with a reassuring grin before disappearing into the crowd of bustling passengers, huffing sadly underneath your breath as you trail your finger smoothly across your bottom lip– where Ben had left his precious, goodbye mark for you. Something you ought to hold on to dearly for the moments you'll be missing out on.

Many months later

During your first day in the University of Barcelona, you could've sworn it was all but a dream and at any given moment you could've awakened; but it wasn't. It was right before your eyes and you were standing upon the solid concrete that held those opportunities. In the first days you were but a foreigner; merely wandering around the campus with your textbooks in hand making your journey to the lab and cafeteria a noble quest. Like your life depended on finding your way through every twist and turn on a day to day basis, asking fellow students where particular rooms were as you struggled to maintain good eye contact.

It was an everyday uphill battle for everyone.

However things have improved immensely in the following months, you have gained new friends in most of your classes, developed a good sense of direction around the campus and you've scored solid 90's in your classes which you thought would be bumpy the first time but attainable anyway through nights spent with ounces of coffee, extensive reading and episodes of academic agony.

Despite the pressures in your first year, you still keep in touch with your friends and family back home, especially with Joe and Lucy to whom you had once swore to always call. They're glad to know you've been at your peak in the past few months plus they wouldn't stop making a fuss about how much they miss you and long to have some sort of reunion once you decide to go back for a break. They've been well too– Joe's planning on producing a new movie although he's not certain with the details yet, Gwilym has talked to you as well and he's thriving with new projects which you were quick to congratulate him on and Lucy - oh, darling Lucy- apparently Rami had taken her out of the country again and popped the question out of nowhere just two months after you left.

Of course, when she told you the news the hot brew you had nearly swallowed came spewing out of your mouth in surprise thereby catching the attention of the people you were with at that time. But that was out of happiness too, she's invited you to her wedding –a few months after breaking to you the news of her engagement– which is to take place two weeks from now, something you're unfortunately unsure of attending since you are steadfast on getting heaps of classwork done.

But you promised to update her if ever you found an opening on that week to squeeze in a flight.

"Aren't you coming with us? They're waiting downstairs and it's our only night off this week. " Ava, your roommate and closest friend among the others, asks as she slips on her cardigan, ready to leave for a night out. You've got a book propped up in front of you and you were just getting immersed in the lines you've taken your eyes off of. "Er, it's kind of a cold night out. You girls have fun anyway."

"You sure?"

You nod, flipping your pen in your fingers. "Just bring me home a smoothie while you're at it."

"Get your butt off the chair and do it yourself!" She whines as she throws a nearby ball of cotton at you and you giggle lightheartedly, wishing her and the girls good luck as she heads out, shutting the door behind her.

You're just relieved they can communicate fluently with you or you never would've gotten around the city easily. Just as you begin turning your attention back to your book, you suddenly lose the interest to continue and just close it for the night, picking your phone up and tossing yourself on the bed with a small jounce as you land.

You shift on your spot as you check through your messages, emails, some posts from friends and whatnot to pass the hour, eventually noticing a message from an unknown number sent just earlier today. Curiosity peaks in you and you don't think twice before clicking on it to read.

You've changed your number weeks prior anyway so it could be from someone you know whose phone number you haven't asked for yet.

Hey, Y/N.

I know this is out of the blue but it's been a while since I've heard from you and in all honesty I didn't even bother to contact you the first time out of the assumption that you might have busied yourself a lot and don't have the time to check your phone. But I've become so worried then that I had to decide to ask you how you're doing. How you're holding up wherever you are. If you're not overworking yourself since you tend to do that a lot. I know it's been months since we've last talked to each other but I just miss you. I miss seeing you, having those late night conversations that got you late in the morning for work, hanging out and your voice. I kind of want to call you but you might be occupied and I don't wanna be a bit of a bother.

I miss you so much, love. Every single day. I'm trying to distract myself with the new project I've taken but you're just impossible to sleep on. When will you ever be back?

Why does the tone of the message seem familiar?

You reread along the last lines and your heart comes to a stop at one word that gives away the possible identity of the sender.

The lingering silence in the room making it possible for you to hear the elevated throbbing of your heart. It's been a while since he's slipped into your mind and even until now, the love you have for him is still flourishing wholly. Even when you had your mind set on your studies, your heart unknowingly had some other priorities.

So has he called things off with Rosy because if he hasn't yet, the tone of the message wouldn't come off as sincere as this.

That's a question you don't need answered for the meantime however you wonder how he was able to text you when you've pretty much changed your number.

You hope he's fully recovered from that head trauma though it's been nearly a year since that happened. Your thumbs hover over the keyboard, thinking about replying.

Hey. Ben if this is you, it's great to hear from you again.

Your eyes dart to the send button, taking a brief pause before hitting it and discarding your phone to the side at least hoping he wouldn't respond immediately because then it would lead to a conversation that might just turn awkward.

Never have you had an awkward talk with him so it's something you wouldn't want to acquaint yourself with.

You grab your pillow and press your cheek against it in uncertainty.

"Don't even start...thinking about him." You mumble groggily into the pillow and lay flat on your back as you begin wallowing in your own doubt, your eyes becoming droopy at every second spent on staring at the pale ceiling with your right arm and leg thrown over the pillow like you're never gonna let it go.

You never even considered seeing someone else because deep down, you still hoped for him. Though you had exchanged some stares and 'interactive' words with a few guys in your classes, none of them ever came or would ever come close to Ben.

- - - - - - -

This week's lab work gave your brain a mild whiplash with all the hustling you were required to do.

Every morning, you either had breakfast or not and it all depended on how early you had to be there. Provided that you had to take off in the early hours, you had to skip a good bite nearly every morning; plus you were all being assessed closely by your professor and so a downshifted movement was every bit as unacceptable.

At least now that you had just gotten off from your last period you can reward yourself with some good Mediterannean food that should be the ultimate dinner of your night.

You and Ava are seated around a table laughing and enjoying each other's companies with your plates and glasses half-filled with leftovers after a quick chow down, but your attention is quickly divided as a text from Lucy surfaces. She's asked you about your availability next week and you ought to re-check your schedule for it. Once again upon pressing your home screen button you can't help but let a longing smile take form on your lips at your wallpaper and with you being oblivious to Ava noticing, to your demise, she takes a sly peek at what you're looking at and disrupt your train of thought.

"Who's that?" Ava asks with a cheeky grin to which you quickly recoil with your phone held loosely in your hand.

"Nothi- no-one. "

As nosy as she is tenacious, she swiftly

snatches your phone from your weak grip and dares to unlock it, the wallpaper of you and Ben making her swoon in delight. "Y/N, how on Earth did you get Ben Hardy to hold you for a photo like this?" Squealing like a schoolgirl, Ava grills you with an inquisitive look. You've never bothered to tell her or any of your new found friends anything about your friendship with him and so now she thinks you're a fan who merely got luck in her favour for a picture.

If only she knew.

"I don't know? How'd you know it's him?" You speak up your mind, a fleeting blush crawling its way to your face.

" Bohemian Rhapsody was a hit, of course. Queen rocks and I was all for it," she gesticulates as a matter of fact and winks playfully, "and later on we were all for the cutie who played Roger Taylor."

You try your very best not to let a single squeak of laughter escape your lips as she begins drooling over him. What are the chances of her finding out, right? You would tell her about it and have her meet him however your situation is too dire to act in. Come to think of it, you haven't received a reply to your reply to his message. He could be juggling a lot in his hands at the moment, perhaps.

"Cutie. Yeah, he's cute. But the guy seems clumsy enough to drop your heart." Here you are throwing a sportive shade all the way from Barcelona.

As if she's taken a fake offense at your comment, Ava overdoes a gasp. "Is that how you say thanks?"

You respond with a one-shoulder shrug, your voice neutral to keep yourself from giving away the screams of your heart. "I'm just saying. What are we doing next week by the way?"

"As I've been told by Mr. Gomez, the school will be hosting an array of meetings with the BOD and so we're given a time off."

You blink thrice at her. "Seriously? Like a week?"

She forks a tapa from her plate and bites down on it, nodding at you. "Three days max." So you don't have the entire week off, but that's great. Given that you had told Lucy you'd update her about your availability during that time and now that you have a few days to spare, you're conditioned to go. You quickly get up from your chair and excuse yourself from Ava, making your way to the terrace to dial Lucy who you hope is reachable at the meantime.

"Hello?"

"Lucy, hey!"

"Y/N, thank goodness you called!"

"About my weekly update?" You bite down on your lip in excitement, swinging your leg back and forth aimlessly.

"What about it?"

"I'm free next week."

- - - - - - -

"And cut! Okay everyone, lunch break. We're not cleaning up the rubble yet so we'll leave it there for the next scene." At the sound of the clapperboard slamming, all stunts have been ceased until the next roll and the main actors retreat individually to their own trailers, one of which is Ben who is walking back within beads of sweat dripping from his forehead as a result of a car stunt he had to perform on set. He's glad he can finally swing his left arm with unbridled ease after disposing of the sling just two months back although he's left with a few scars; the primary one on his forehead from the trauma he had.

A PA hands him a bottle of water and he thanks her for the save, cracking the lid off and chugging away. He waves at his fellow co-stars before entering his trailer and slipping out of his sweaty shirt, dumping it on the edge of the bed.

He places the bottle on a coffee table and swipes his phone from his drawer, being welcomed by a heap ton of messages, one days older than the next. He scratches his head at the result of his constant business; not being able to find time to reply thereby impregnating his inbox with miscellaneous messages.

Three from Lucy which he is 'obligated' to check first and foremost. Ben's lips twitch to an uneven smirk as he reads her messages, amused that he's been invited to her wedding, along with other people.

He replies with a simple yet sincere, "Thanks, I'll mark it on my calendar" before proceeding to put his phone down on the bed. He sighs, taking out his wallet from his drawer and opening it to pick out something, the dual polaroid he's folded in catching his eye and all of his attention; and for a moment, his heart stops.

He pulls it out from its slot and unfolds it, the tape used to stick it together crinkled but still an effective adhesive. Without taking his eyes off of the polaroids, he plops down on the edge of the bed and wipes his forehead, hiding the ridiculous smile he now has on his face behind his hand. The memory still does things to him apparently and he has never let go since the day you kissed him goodbye. He can still feel the touch of your lips linger on his and admittedly, he traces his finger across the spot every time you cross his mind. The things you had said to him while he was unconscious ultimately stuck in his mind and he just longs to hear your voice once more. There are multiple times he forgets that you're not around to vent to or watch a good game of rugby with or do whatever you used to do together, no matter the trouble.

Generally speaking, he just yearns to be with you.

On a side note, he had long called things off with Rosy, exactly a day after he had awakened. Of course, she didn't take it easy but he knew damn well who he loved.

A heavy sigh leaves Ben's lips as he lowers his head at the frustration he feels for never owning up to his feelings.

She probably has some other guy in her life now. What are my chances? He thinks dryly to himself. "Hey, Ben? Break is over." The assistant director knocks on his trailer door and he tells him that he'll be out in a few. Tucking the polaroids back into his wallet, he snags the fresh shirt that's been laid out on the sofa across him and pulls it on, combing his blond hair back with his fingers before heading out to get the day done without realizing that he has skipped your reply.

With the days leading up to Rami and Lucy's wedding, they have never been more busier about any other event in their entire lives. They've decided on a beach wedding and to hold the reception there as well. Lucy has made you one of her bridesmaids yet you declined at first because that would mean you would have to fly in early for a practice down the aisle but she's assured you that practice wouldn't be necessary. She has taken care of the dresses and such and all you need to do is just fly down to California, again, to attend. Speaking of dresses, you bought her a little wedding gift yourself. It's something small but it's bound to suit her look.

You've told Ava about the wedding– excluding essential details like whose wedding it is specifically– and she's a little disheartened that you wouldn't be around to hang out with for the week but you've reassured her that you won't be long; considering you'll also be reviewing for upcoming tests.

"Okay, so it's a beach wedding? Drastic times call for some drastic measures, chica!" She exclaims and throw her arms up in the air, springing out of her bed and rummaging through her wardrobe as you throw what you can into one, just one luggage bag.

She pulls out a black two-piece bikini from the drawers and upon beholding it, you feel your eyes burn to a crisp. "There won't be any swimming, as far as I'm concerned."

"You'll never know. Just toss this in, it might come in handy." You swear you saw a mischievous glint in her eye as she said that. You press your lips into a tentative, hard line before surrendering, grabbing the pair from her and stuffing it in the unreachable depths of your luggage.

"Happy?" She nods vigorously and you sigh in defeat, zipping your bag close.

The day came and the jet lag is still real. You've flown in a day prior, exactly the day of Lucy's bridal shower and well, a literal bone crushing hug welcomed you on your way into the arrival area. She looked really fresh and bloomy before you arrived but afterwards, it was a messy head of hair and a waste of makeup, not to give it a stretch but it was. She's shed a few tears from how long you've been gone and you couldn't help but shed a few yourself, awfully missing her and the rest.

She's prepped a hotel for all her bridesmaids to stay in and you had some thoughts on how much she's spent but it's her wedding so who are you to question? As she helps you settle in your room, she pauses and brings you in for another big hug.

"Aww, Luce." You chuckle over her shoulder, rubbing her back.

She snaps her eyes shut and hums. "Oh Y/N, I've missed you. We all have. I know we call a lot even from a distance but it's been so long since we've last seen each other."

You sigh heavily, still holding her close.

"LAX. Yeah. It's only been a year but it feels like forever," you pull away deliberately, hands still firm on her shoulders with a heartfelt gaze, "Congratulations, Luce. You and Rami better make wonderful babies."

She smacks your arm lightly as an appropriate response to your little tease. "Shut it. Tell me everything."

"Everything?"

"Yeah," she planks down on the edge of the duvet and crosses her legs, leaning her body forward, "how's Spain? How's the school? The agony? Been seeing someone?" The last bit catches you by surprise; as if she's emphasized the question enough for it to be the main thing you have to answer. You disregard it for a few seconds until she brings it up again. You turn to give her an incredulous brow lift, something she returns with a curious grin. "Are you seeing anyone?"

In your mind, she should know that you've only ever had one guy in your heart but knowing Lucy, she just wants to hear you say it yourself .

You huff underneath your breath, planting your hands on your hips as you perpend on saying the following. "Spain is amazing. School is both heaven and hell. The agony exists in every divot, and no, I'm not seeing anyone."

"That's good."

You glance sideways awkwardly. "Okay? Is what good?"

"Everything, except the agony part, especially the last."

"I'm not seeing anyone?" You repeat and she nods with a blossoming smile. You don't say anything else since it's obvious that she's keen on letting you talk about Ben but today's not the day that you do. It's the day before her wedding and every present air particle should be all about her.

"Regardless, Miss Boynton. This week is all about you so," you alter your stance and skip to your luggage bag, unzipping one compartment and pulling out your wedding gift for her, "it's not much but I figured this looks better if it's on you." You hand her the palm-sized object and she lets out a little gasp at what you got her. It's a hair comb adorned with two, white roses and pale rhinestones that glimmer under the spilling light.

Something that would upgrade her sun-kissed beauty on a clear day. You try it on her and step back to picture her with the full ensemble as she walks down the sandy aisle tomorrow. "Good lord, look at you all grown up." You pretend to tear up and she tilts her head back in a burst of laughter, walking to you with welcoming arms and green eyes that are nearly brimming with tears.

"Oh I love it, Y/N! I knew something was missing in the outfit but you've completed it. It's perfect." She mumbles happily against your shoulder and her contentment tickles your insides.

"I'm glad you like it."

After giving you a look of what you'll be wearing tomorrow and a few, friendly introductions to the rest of the bridesmaids, the bridal shower is where everything is at. Ranging from colorful streamers to champagne to cake strippers, the latter putting you under uneasy situations when you just wished to enjoy your drink and your own space. At the same hour you're enjoying yourselves, on the other side of town is where Rami and the boys are on full swing with his bachelor's party. It has the same vibe, only without the strippers and streamers and constant belly-aching movement.

You just pray none of you will be waking up with hangovers at the hour you'll be fixing yourselves.

And indeed none of you have.

You've all waken up like ladies but clumsily as the realization of the time nudges you out of your beds. Ceremony starts at 9 and you're 5 hours early to ensure that everything progresses smoothly.

It's a condensed hustle within your separate rooms; the pattern of getting ready ever so similar. Shower, makeup, hair, dress, and retouch; all done in complete unison. With all the bridesmaids, including yourself, conditioned outfit-wise, you all gather in Lucy's room to assist in psyching her up for the big day. Her mom's in too to witness every precious second of seeing her daughter fly off on her own.

She's still in her robe but her hair and makeup have been beautifully done by one of her makeup artist friends. She's about to step into her gown, a sight the girls are just dying to see.

"Alright, Lucy. Let me just zip up the back." Says one of the girls who has helped with her makeup as Lucy stands confidently but nervously in front of the mirror, scanning her reflection. You fold your hands together in anticipation, gasping as she turns around slowly with the skirt of the gown gracefully following her turning motion. Her radiance could put the sun's to complete shame.

"Well, say something, girls." She prompts with a chuckle and as expected, it is followed by the uproarious squeal of everyone in the room including yourself. Rami is guaranteed to have his gaze super-glued to Lucy the moment she reveals herself. After having a dozen compliments shower her, you and the rest of the girls retreat outside to give her and her mother a time to talk. As you lean against the door frame, you fish out your phone from your purse and check your messages; coming across your reply to Ben which hasn't received another one from him yet.

You wipe off the downhearted smirk on your expression as the girls' murmurs increase as Lucy steps out holding a bouquet of flowers with her mom on her arm and the edge of her gown lifted by two assistants. She turns her head to find you and crooks her finger at you upon seeing you inclined against the frame, letting you walk by her side.

You notice she's sporting the gift you've given her and the sentimentality makes you want to tear up but in doing so would ruin your makeup and so you decide to save it for the kiss.

You lean in close to her and whisper in a flat but playful tone, your words making her giggle. "Rami's totally getting it."

"I'm not the only one who's getting it today." She winks at you and leaves you questioning what she meant. She made it sound like it's something you have to find out for yourself later on. The weather is fine and not as humid as you thought; the ideal atmosphere to marry under. The bridesmaids are to ride in a separate vehicle that will follow up behind the one Lucy and her mom will be taking. To say that your ride with the the girls to the resort turned out fun and noisy is an understatement; you couldn't be any more conscious about smudging your makeup as you busted your guts laughing at your topics. The driver had given you weirded out looks but you know he was just trying to feign a laugh. By the time you arrive at the resort, a gust of wind from the seaside welcomes you out and nearly messes up your hair though you've put it up in an elegant bun with your tendrils hanging loosely from the sides of your head. You traverse closely behind the rest of the girls and find the venue nearly packed with attendees in their most sophisticated dresses and suits. The altar is set meters away from the shoreline and a red carpet has been rolled out to serve as the aisle between lines of pillars decorated with tropical flowers. A gentle music piece is being played by a violinist and a cellist situated on the left side of the altar with waiters serving some four-seasoned refreshments for the guests to enjoy as they wait.

With all these people around, you can't help but wonder if either Joe or Gwilym made it. You haven't contacted Joe about arriving, given that you wanted to surprise him with your arrival. You peer down at your wristwatch and it's only an hour before the ceremony starts. Rami's nowhere to be seen and you badly want to congratulate him on this, but either way, he's probably attending to some other people and so you put that chance on hold.

As you had wished for yourself to be void of any mishaps today, you bumping into a tall figure as you turn around to walk away deters that possibility and mortifies you for a moment.

"Oh man, I'm so sorry-" You quickly apologize but cease as a familiar face meets your lifting gaze.

"What- Y/N?!"

"J-Joe?!"

"Y/N!"

"Joe!" After shamelessly screaming each other's names, you put no thought into the action of jumping into his arms for a tight hug. He's crushing you in one anyway. "Oh my g- what- when did you arrive, you little sneak? " He exclaims and lets you go for a split second, careful not to ruin your satin outfit. "You're going to murder me for this but yesterday."

His brows furrow in disbelief as his mouth hangs agape. "How dare you not tell me? I mean, I knew Lucy would invite you but...actually how dare you both for not telling me." He whines in a joking manner and you respond with a quick shrug. "Surprise, surprise."

"You sure did and wow," his eyes travel up and down your outfit and you click your tongue at him as he does, pointing your finger to your eyes that are aimlessly roving around his suit in the same manner. "Hey Mazzello, eyes here."

"Hypocrite, eyes here." He mimics your action mockingly and you take eye-rolling to the next level.

"Damn it Joe, I've missed you."

"Missed you too. Been a year but it feels like a decade and you look beautiful, by the way, in that outfit as a bridesmaid." He places his hand on your upper back and leads you into the lounging area that is close to the pool but not far from the event area.

"You don't look so bad yourself for a groomsman. "

"How'd you guess?"

"This is Rami's wedding. I'd know."

You got an hour to talk before you take your positions anyway so catching up would be vital. You settle down on the sofa and fit your talk into the time limit, telling each other about what went on in your lives for the past few months. A lot of interesting stuff has happened to Joe and he's absolutely lively as he talks about it however yours hasn't been much, just adaptation to a new environment and the academic agony. Your talk takes an interesting turn as Joe asks you a question related to something you haven't thought about for a few days.

"Since you're pretty much still on the market, you ever think about...you know."

Your brows crease at him. "What?"

"You know," he lifts his shoulder in a half shrug, "Ben."

"Oh." Is the only thing you can say. The answer is pretty clear, you do think about him but not on a daily basis. He comes across your mind when you've drifted off into oblivion with your thoughts or when something that may remind you of him catches your eye.

"Sometimes I guess. But not as deep as I used to."

"I know you miss him, Y/N, and he misses you too. Believe me, he tells me everytime he calls."

You cast him a short gaze but look back at your fingers, a little comforted by the thought and it motivates you to ask. "Is he still with Rosy?"

Joe scoffs, mildly amused and wholly relieved at the contrary. "That's the good news. He's broken things off with her long ago. Just a day after he regained consciousness."

"Really?" You won't admit it but part of you feels bad for her.

"Yeah and I'm not spoiling you the rest," he rises from his spot on the sofa and reaches out for your hand, pulling you up gracefully. "The thing's about to start." He gestures to the chairs that are beginning to get occupied by the people as the priest arrives. You walk back out alongside him, leaning in to ask out of curiosity. "What do you mean you won't spoil me the rest?"

"You'll see, now go skedaddle to Lucy. She needs her crew." He pats your shoulder with a crooked smile on and you sigh inwardly, waving at him as you divert paths; with you headed to where the rest of the bridesmaids and the bride herself are gathered.

"Gwilym! You're just on time." Spotting Gwilym making his way to join Sami – Rami's brother– at the front row of chairs on the right wing as one of the groomsmen, Joe greets him with a brief hug and takes his place next to him. Sami greets the two men as well, exchanging some remarks before being joined by Ben who had been caught in traffic on his way. "Benny!"

"Ben!"

"Hey, you guys! Am I late? Did I miss the vows?" He asks with a hint of irony as he takes the spot between Gwil and Joe, shaking hands with Sami at the same time. Not a minute longer they are joined by the remaining groomsmen and Rami who has finally garnered up the physical strength to stand on the altar without breaking a sweat.

"You got this, mate. Just don't look down. Your boutonniere looks nice if I might add." Gwilym simultaneously advises and compliments an already nervous Rami hoping to appease him yet earns a quick yet teasing smack from Joe for making a small joke out of the situation. To show them that he's actually better on every possible level, Rami stands tall and rests his hands on his front to exude that confidence and excitement of being minutes away from watching his soon-to-be Mrs. Malek grace the aisle with her presence.

The guests simmer down with their chatters as the first ones who will be walking down the aisle take their positions. The musicians stop playing as they wait for the cue to initiate the main piece in accordance with the first walk.

Among the ones that will be walking before Lucy's big entrance is you and though you'll be joined by your fellow bridesmaids, it somehow just quakes your nerves, tightening your grip around the small bouquet of flowers you've been given as a prop.

You can't understand why you're feeling nervous; you're not the one that's getting married but you just don't know why. The musicians are given the cue and they begin playing a familiar song, something contemporary but heart-achingly romantic.

"You okay?" Asks a fellow bridesmaid and you nod, telling her that you're a bit anxious. She reassures you with a smile and it unknots your tension. The guests and attendees turn their heads towards the threshold of the aisle and the sponsors begin walking down first. Next are some of their relatives, then you– the bridesmaids. There are at least seven of you and you come in fifth. As you begin sauntering down the aisle, you feel relaxed yet piercing eyes trail your movement yet you beg to differ and keep your head up with a mellow smile on your face as you keep your eyes ahead, your unsteady gaze fleeting from the altar and to the groomsmen seated at the front row of the right wing.

Your eyes land on Joe and Gwilym who start giving you bright beams as they notice you in an instant. If you weren't trying to walk sophisticatedly with all these people staring, you would let out the loudest, most awkward giggle. It's nice to see Gwilym again though. Just as you begin turning your unwavering attention away, you take a subtle double take at a certain pair of eyes that has found you long before you found them. You are meters away from reaching your end of the aisle and yet it seems as if you've only started walking with how the music has turned up and how you're exchanging astonished yet longing gapes with Ben who knows he is seconds away from exploding with who he's finally seeing. You're here as a bridesmaid for Lucy and yet ridiculously, you feel like the bride.

Of course he's here. Of course he's one of the groomsmen. Of course Lucy and Joe wouldn't tell you. Of course this is the thing Joe didn't want to spoil about. Why didn't you think about any of this earlier? It would've saved you the shock regardless of it being so obvious.

You gather the strength to break away from the trance you've put yourself in and stand next to the girls, using up all the willpower in your body to avoid risking a peek at the groomsmen– at one groomsman rather. It's the same struggle for Ben who is every bit as stubborn as the next person and does the contrary, going as far as tilting his head to one side just to cop a longer view of you, an action Joe notices and slaps his hand for. Ben winces a bit and gives Joe a questioning look for two reasons.

"Save it." Joe whispers flatly and yet Ben dismisses it and feels his breath hitch in his throat as the sight of you appeases his worries yet makes his heart run a mile. With the ring bearers and flower girls at the edge of their walk, everyone rises up at the reveal of Lucy. The music slows down to fit the pace of her walk with her mother by her side, her eyes finding Rami's and establishing a home in them. You glance at both of them and feel your heart inflate at how strong their love for each other is, something that usually only exists in novels and fiction. Lucy's eyes well with joyful tears as she reaches the altar and her mother finally surrenders her hand to Rami.

It's too much.

With you being too distracted by the spark between Rami and Lucy, you overlook Ben's unbreakable gaze at you. The moment you grew a smile, it invalidated everything else surrounding him.

The priest requests everyone to finally sit down and witness the lifetime commitment blossom. Throughout the ceremony, you can't help but feel his eyes sear through you yet you stand your ground and fix your gaze at the happenings on the altar, briefly failing every once in a while by finding yourself looking back at him. The moment has come for them to exchange their vows and you listen intently at every word sincerely uttered by the two. There are parts in their vows that make the people giggle and tear up at the emotion put into every word expressed. It seems surreal to you that the moment Rami tells Lucy that he's never going anywhere, your gaze meets Ben's and it becomes undeniably bewitching, Rami's words acting as a call back to your promises. As the rings are exchanged and the "I do's" are said, the priest pronounces them husband and wife and you tear your focus away from Ben just in time for Rami and Lucy to share their first kiss as a married couple. Cheers and applauds fill the air and even more tears of joy are shed at the start of their lifetime bond. They both couldn't look any more blissful, with the pair of them giddily flaunting their rings with grins so radiant and bright it undermines the power of the sun upon them.

The cheers and excitement continue at the reception which, of course, is hosted at the very same place. After the ceremony– you, the girls and Lucy took off to the rooms you've booked in the resort for the meantime to change into the appropriate apparel to match the vibe of the venue and even the venue itself. Rami and the boys drove back to their respective hotels to change as well and it was a bit hard for the newly weds to go their separate ways for a few hours just to change clothes. Now that you've all rejoined for the reception, lively doesn't even begin to cut it. It's just like any other wedding reception and like any other wedding reception, it's upbeat, smooth and a little haywire on the egdes. After going through with dinner and a couple of toasts and remarks about the funny side of Rami and Lucy's relationship, the dance floor is open for business. At first glance, the girls take you for someone who is in need of a lot acquainting with the dance floor and they're right; because of that they haul you in themselves and you end up enjoying moving around to the music. You decide to refreshen yourself with a glass of iced tea before returning to your fun. One gulp is all takes to replenish the energy lost and you turn around to head back but freeze in your spot at the sight of Joe with his hand out, asking you for a dance.

"Seriously?" You're not surprised but your brows shoot up in question.

"It's my way of saying 'I need to talk to you'. "

"We can do that outside." You gesture to the vacant space yet Joe insists that he dances with you as you talk. You purse your lips together, letting him take your hand and he pulls you along with him almost too abruptly, eliciting a ticklish squeal from you.

"Don't do that!" You whine as you both settle among the multitude of dancing people. He lowers his head in laughter and twirls you under his arm, drawing you close afterwards. You rest one hand on his shoulder as he holds up the other. "Where's the fun in talking outside now, huh?"

"Alright," you grin ridiculously, spotting Rami and Lucy in each other's arms as they slow dance near the mini stage, looking and feeling at one with the other. "Hey, doesn't it just warm you?" You poke Joe and gesture to the newlyweds. He peers over at them and hums in a heartwarming way. "Yeah. Man, it's like they're communicating with each other merely through their close-knit heartbeats."

"Speaking of communication," you clear your throat and give him a direct look, " what did you want to talk about?"

He snaps out from gauging at the two and leads you on a gentle sway as he swallows, increasing the volume of his voice just loud enough to cut through the music and for you to hear. "Right. About the thing during the ceremony," you immediately catch on to what he's trying to say and interrupt his next words.

"Okay, thanks for implying, but are you kidding me? Giving me stroke by hiding Ben's attendance?"

"It was for dramatic effect," your eyes flatten puzzlingly at his defense. "What was so dramatic in that besides the awkward... staring?" You know the truth and it really wasn't awkward; in fact it felt like time dilated between you both.

Joe ping-pongs his gaze from one end of the place to the other and back to you. "You paused after 'awkward'. You liked it." The smile on his face teasing you. He's really that sensitive to the nuance of your voice, making it easier for him to figure out how you actually feel about anything.

You evade his prying look and clear your throat, trying to keep up with the transition of the rhythmic music to a slow tune. "So what if I did?" You mumble intentionally.

"Nothing bad. Just Ben wouldn't stop fidgeting in his spot after seeing you. He was this," he makes small jerky movements with his upper body as to imitate Ben's inability to keep still during the ceremony, "antsy and I was this close to losing it."

You snort as you let an explosive laugh overcome you, recollecting yourself shortly as you are flattered by Joe's report. "I felt the same. It took every cell in my body to prevent myself from launching at him honestly."

"I'm glad we sat in separate tables or else neither of you would function like regular...human beings." The grin on Joe's face fades in the same manner as his last words, staring off at a figure approaching from behind you. He regains his voice in a matter of seconds, only with a sly twinkle in his eyes this time.

"You okay?" You ask him, slowly removing your hand from his chest and he nods vigorously, taking position to whirl you off but with a sneaky twist.

"I'm fine. Just... Gwilym wants to dance with you and he's right behind you so I'm going to spin you off to him, sound good?" He lifts your arm up and you shrug in agreement, going with what Joe's planning to do.

"Ally oop!" He twirls you around and releases your hand just in time for you to cling onto a firm frame, giggling at the rush you felt. "Hey Gwil! Good catch, that was a strong spin-" You take a hard pause the second you lift your eyes up with the expectation of meeting Gwilym's sapphire blues, greeting a pair of forest, green orbs instead and it becomes more than what you've bargained for. His veiny arms have caught you with ease and you're sinking, both literally and metaphorically, your arms awkwardly thrown over his shoulders for support.

He helps you regain your balance and smiles the smile you had craved to behold again, breathing out your name like he hasn't said it in a long time. "Y/N, hi."

You find your voice just in time to reply. "Ben...h-hi." He's looking quite good in an all white attire. His white dress shirt is tucked in and has three buttons undone, exposing a lot of his clavicle and a preview of his pecs and the way his white pants just hangs loosely around his legs– you've lost the proper words to describe the sight.

Joe, you crafty asshole.

#borhap #queen #ben hardy #ben hardy imagine #ben hardy x reader #borhap cast #borhap cast x reader #borhap imagine #ben hardy fanfic #imagine #fanfic

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pens-swords-stuff · 5 years

Note

Hey, I'm wondering if you have any advice on how to bring yourself to start writing when it feels difficult to?

Sorry for the late reply, I was being super lazy. Which brings me to my next point…

Do I have advice? Oh boy do I ever. I am absolutely terrible at actually sitting down and writing. So I have a lot of tips and tricks and how to get yourself to do it. The real problem is whether I actually follow my own advice and the answer is… no, I do not. Whoops.

Anyways, here’s my advice on how to start writing when it feels difficult to!

Identify why writing feels difficult

What’s stopping you from sitting down and writing right now? What about it is difficult? Why are you dreading it? Maybe if you figure out what’s making you so reluctant, you can deal with that first.

For example, in my current WIP I’ve always struggled with writing for some of my characters. I really hated writing them because I couldn’t do it — every single time I would try, I would end up so frustrated and not want to continue because it just wasn’t happening. So instead of trying to write the next chapter, I took some time aside to sit down and try to really acquaint myself with those characters. Once I identified why I didn’t want to write and I addressed that problem, writing became a lot easier.

Put something on the page

Sometimes just staring at a blank page can be super intimidating, so start by writing something — anything! Maybe you just literally put “dkajhcladkjcnlakdjc” at the top. Maybe you add a motivational quote, or a something like “JUST WRITE YOU COWARD”. Maybe you write something from tumblr to fill out the top. Whatever you do, just put something there so when you look at your page there’s some sort of progress there.

Set a realistic, easy goal

It’s really important to not psych yourself out by thinking that you have to do a lot of things. I find that I’m a lot more productive when I break tasks down into smaller chunks that’s easier to complete, and satisfying to check off my list. Set a really small goal that you 100% can achieve! And there’s no shame in lowballing here, set a goal for 100 words, two scenes, etc. Chances are, once you hit that goal you’ll keep writing. If not, that’s some writing you wouldn’t have done before!

Writing Sprints

A writing sprint is where you choose an increment of time (10-15 minutes usually) and during that time, you get out as many words as you can. It doesn’t matter if it’s crap, if it doesn’t make sense, just get those words out. Commit to that 10-15 minute period, and focus on nothing but churning out words.

Writing sprints are also a great way to connect with your community! Maybe you’re worried about not committing to the sprint, or you just want an extra push or support. Lots of Writeblrs host group writing sprints that you can join in on, or you could host your own!

Of course, doing it on your own is also a great option.

Don’t reread your writing

Don’t expect your writing session to go perfectly. Chances are, you’re going to make mistakes, and you might really not like what you’re writing. Ignore the desire to make it good, and to edit as you go. It can be the crappiest sentence you’ve ever written, but just keep going! Leave the crap to be edited later, and just keep trucking forward.

I know there are some websites online that will hide what you’ve written so you can’t go back and look. I can’t recall them off the top of my head however, and I haven’t been successful in finding them, so if anyone knows what it is, please link it!

Change your environment

Sometimes freshening up your work space can do wonders! If you’re working at your desk and it’s disorganized, straighten it out and clean it up! Maybe try sitting in another room, or even going to a coffee shop or a library or something for a change in scenery. Sometimes your standard work space can get a bit dull, and changing it up can do wonders!

Write something else

If you’re really not feeling whatever you’re supposed to be writing… Write something else! If a particular scene is being difficult, write it from a different perspective! If your WIP isn’t particularly appealing to you, write an AU! Write out a headcanon you’ve been wanting to write for a while!

Reward yourself

So at the end of the day, discipline is what finishes story. If you’re like me and you’re waiting around for inspiration and motivation, it’s not going to happen. Sometimes all I really need to do is to force myself to do something, but also Netflix seems really fun right now. Instead of relying on intrinsic motivation, give yourself some external motivation! If you write out 500 words, reward yourself with a snack, or an episode of a TV show or something that you enjoy. Give yourself something to work towards!

If anyone is interested, I can write a guide on how to change your habits and lifestyle through positive reinforcement so please let me know if you are!

Just do it

Sometimes it’s just me procrastinating. And I don’t really have a block, I just need to sit myself down and force myself to start writing. Sometimes I just have to be really stern with myself and say “Stop messing around and write.”

That’s all of the advice I have for now, I’m sure there’s other amazing advice out there, and if you ask me again later I might have some more ideas.

Thank you so much for asking, and best of luck on your writing! I hope this helped :)

If you’d like to ask me for advice on writing or running a writeblr, please check out my Ask Guidelines and FAQ first.

Ask Guidelines | FAQ | Advice Masterlist

#writing advice #writing #writeblr #creative writing #writing tips #undine answers stuff #asks #glacizata #long post #undine gives advice #pens-swords-stuff #pens swords stuff

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swissmissing · 5 years

Text

Fan Fic Ask Meme (self ask edition)

I saw this going around and I figured no one is going to actually respond and send me any of these asks because I have like maybe 2 followers who ever interact with me, but I felt like doing it so I’ll just ask myself all of them. :)

A: How did you come up with the title to "The Best Picture of the Human Soul”?

I wanted an artsy-intellectual title because I felt like it’s a kind of pretentious little story that takes itselt too seriously. It’s about images and soulmates, so I googled picture, soul, and quote, and that’s one of the hits that came up. So it is actually a quote by the philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein: “The human body is the best picture of the human soul.”

B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?

Probably all of them. But the one where I consciously put in something from a real-life experience was in “A Capacity for Love” (HP fandom fic). I don’t want to go into detail, but there are characters in the story whose experiences and actions were based on things I had knowledge of in real life.

C: What member do you identify with most?

I am guessing this means which character I identify with most, from the stories I’ve written? Hermione Granger, definitely. From the Sherlock fandom, probably Molly. But I don’t find her an interesting character to write about.

D: Is there a song or a playlist to associate with [insert fic]?

No, I am not into music in that way.

E: If you wrote a sequel to [insert fic], what would it be about?

The most obvious one of my fics to get a sequel would be “The Way to a Man’s Heart” which would naturally be about Sherlock and John’s wedding.

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

Nothing specifically comes to mind and I’ve written too many stories to go back through them all and find anything. I think I’m pretty good at dialogue in general and enjoy writing it more than the prose in between. When I write dialogue, I really try to hear the characters/actors saying the words, with inflection and volume changes and speech patterns all of that. I think that makes it work well and feel real, rather than just me putting my own thoughts into the characters’ mouths.

G: Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

Mostly from start to finish, but I usually have one or two key scenes that I may jump ahead and write because I want to capture them in the moment. But the problem is, I will always end up having to rewrite them anyway because there are details that come up as I write that I hadn’t anticipated, that will need to be worked in.

H: How would you describe your style?

I have no idea. Probably too wordy.

I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?

For reading, really raunchy PWP. And I suppose for writing as well. I do feel some residual puritanical guilt when I write a PWP.

J: Write or describe an alternative ending to [insert fic].

I’ve seen other authors say they don’t want to answer this because they don’t think it’s fair or something, which I don’t understand. Why not? Anyway, an alternate ending for “Revenge Averted”, which is itself an alternate ending of VizardMask’s fic “Best Served Hot”, would be that Sherlock and John come up with a plan to neutralize the threat from Mary without John having to go back to her.

K: What’s the angstiest idea you’ve ever come up with?

Sticking to the ones I’ve actually written, probably “A Capacity for Love”, which shows the aftermath of Snape raping Hermione from both of their perspectives. Usually we only see things from the victim’s perspective in those kinds of stories, but I wanted to get into Snape’s head as well. In the Sherlock fandom, I guess “More Earth Than Fire”, which deals with the death of John and Mary’s baby.

L: How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

It’s constant. I never just write a whole first draft, then go back and revise. I re-read and revise every single sentence constantly. Like even writing this entry, I have already gone back through all of my previous responses a couple of times, re-reading and adjusting things. I’ll write a few sentences, then re-read everything from the beginning. Then write a couple more. It makes for extremely slow progress but it’s how my brain works. I can’t leave something untended.

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share?

I have a couple of things that I’ve started that I’ll probably never finish. The one that’s furthest along is a Sherlock/Whisky Tango Foxtrot crossover. I also have an ACD werewolf fic that I started years ago for some Halloween exchange that’s pretty far along. I have probably around 10 other stories as well, in stages from vaguely sketched out to fully outlined to having a couple of scenes written.

N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?

All of my WIP’s! Probably especially the WTF crossover. I really want to read that one. ;)

O: How do you begin a story–with the plot, or the characters?

I mean, if it’s a fic, then the characters obviously. They are already a given. I’m going to write about Sherlock and John (or whoever my current muse pairing is). I have some original story ideas too, and there it’s the plot that comes first. I have a harder time coming up with original characters, so it’s unlikely I’ll ever write one of those stories.

P: Are you what George R. R. Martin would call an “architect” or a “gardener”? (How much do you plan in advance, versus letting the story unfold as you go?)

I like to plot out the entire story before I start writing so that I’m sure I won’t get stuck anywhere. Of course then as I write, things happen that necessitate adjustments to the outline. But yeah, mainly architect because my biggest fear when writing is getting stuck.

Q: How do you feel about collaborations?

I have seen some really brilliant products come out of collaborative writing projects, so clearly some people work really well that way. However, I don’t think I could ever be part of a collaboration, other than as a beta reader.

R: Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?

Every time I read a text, it influences me. I don’t have anyone whose style I consciously attempt to emulate, or who I aspire to be like, though.

S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?

For reading? All the favs: Fake relationship, only one bed, roommates.

For writing, I have a soft spot for being in a relationship already without realizing it.

T: Any fandom tropes you can’t stand?

When I see Coffee Shop AU or Teen AU in the tags of a fic, it turns me off. Although I’ve read quite a few really good ones in those categories, so it’s not like they’re an automatic nope. Just, they make me wary.

U: Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

There are too many to name and I don’t want anyone to feel left out. But basically, there are certain authors who I know will always deliver top-quality writing and a highly satisfactory reading experience, regardless of subject matter, fandom, genre, or pairing.

V: If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

Too hard to choose a specific one. Basically anything by any of those authors referenced in the previous question!

W: Do you like more general prompts, or more specific ones?

I have a hard time writing to prompts given by other people. So I guess I prefer general ones that I can take in my own direction rather than a tailor-made commission.

X: A character you enjoy making suffer.

Sherlock and John both do it so beautifully. :)

Y: A character you want to protect.

Children, I guess. I have a hard time seeing a child character be hurt.

Z: Major character death–do you ever write/read it? Is there a character whose death you can’t tolerate?

I am okay with it if it is a natural death, such as occurs in retirement fic. I don’t see the point of it in other situations. The whole point of reading fan fiction for me is to have a happier conclusion than in the original.

Anyone who wants to do the thing, feel free to copy and share your own answers! And of course, if anyone wants to ask me one of these about another fic than the ones I chose, please do. :)

#meme #personal #writing #sherlock #fandom

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hydrospanners · 5 years

Text

a writing year in review: 2k18 edition

So I’m taking a minute to look back at all the writing I did this year and it has been a pretty spotty year for fanfic for me. Lots of long, blank spaces between weird surges of productivity. But! I did a lot of work on my original projects and also the boring adult responsibilities in my life (I changed jobs three times!!! I changed my name!!! I started going to therapy!!!!) and I pushed out some fic I really liked this year in spite of all that so, all things considered, I’m calling this one a win.

Without further ado, here is the breakdown of all the fic I’ve written this year plus a sad breakdown all of the geriatric WIPs looking at me with their big sad eyes, crossing their fingers for 2019. Hiding most of it under a cut because the rankings and WIP snippets got long.

2k18's Publication Stats for Fun & Profit:

This year I published 16 fanfics, all but one for SWTOR. 10 were brand new, started and finished in 2018, and 6 were old WIPS that have been marinating for Force only knows how long. That number is down from the 29 fics I published in 2017, but close to the 14 I published in 2016. 2015 was only 3 fics and 2014 was only 2. I have a total of 64 works published on AO3.

This year I published 34559 words for an average of about 2160 words per fic. This is extremely above my overall average of about 930 words per fic with a combined total of 59569 words published since I started posting fic publicly back in 2014.

So the number of fics may be lower this year but the number of words total and the average words in the fics I did publish went up! Please enjoy a review of the shit people liked most according to AO3 and then the stuff I personally liked most because I'm allowed to like my own writing, sue me.

2k18's Most Read Fics:

1. spoonful of sugar: Everyone gets sick sometimes; even big damn heroes. These are vignettes about the Jedi Knight's crew getting sick, getting treated, and getting better. (SWTOR)

I started writing this one when I got really sick during the summer of 2017 and I finally finished it this year! There's another part that I cut because it got way out of control that I'd like to one day add back in as a second chapter but I am okay with calling this one complete and maybe never doing that. This one is a nice combo of funny and a little bit sweet that I think is refreshing, like a cold, fruity drink on a hot summer's day. Here is my very favorite line from this whole fic because it is so delightfully dumb:

“Scourge,” Rhese tries and fails to sound as though he has some degree of command over his own voice right now. “Get off my dick.”

2. filling the table: They have a saying back on Corellia that the only way you can ever really know a man is by taking his credits. They also have a saying that you should never play cards with a Corellian because Corellians always cheat, but she's betting Doc never heard that one. (SWTOR)

I think I started this one all the way back in like 2014 or 2015. I can't remember now but it was a long time ago and this piece of shit has morphed a million times since then. I must have rewritten the ending about a million times.

I really wanted to capture the desperation of the Balmorran Resistance while I was doing the character work with this, the sense of limited resources and hard living, and I am pretty happy with the result. I'm also pretty happy with the characterization work here, the little snippets they are both revealing to each other and the bigger snippets they aren't. I'm still not entirely happy with the white spaces in this one. I feel like I was a little too sparse and there are lots of places that don't flow if you don't already know what isn't being said, but I am more or less happy with this one! Here is my favorite bit because of the doublespeak foreshadowing their future relationship that was definitely on purpose:

Four hands later, she’s fifty credits richer and Doc is rooting around in his pocket for something to scribble another IOU on. She knows he’ll never make good on it, but Rea’s happy to accept his empty promises if it keeps him playing the game. She’s overdue for a bit of fun.

3. take back what the kingdom stole: Alliance Commander Nirea Velaran has always had a talent for burning bridges. When Theron comes to her after Nathema to pay for his sins, she finds herself wondering whether some bridges can't be repaired. (SWTOR)

Hey look! Something I started and finished in the same calendar year!! This one grew out of a very stupid joke that I ended up not even making until the end of the fic. At first I wanted to draw that bit, but I got frustrated with my lacking artistic talent so I wrote it instead and it turned into one of my fave things I've written. It has nice scenery and character growth and intimate friendships that have a real impact on their emotional lives! Hurt feelings aren't just for romance fam!! Anyway here's my favorite bit because it's one of the most Rea moments I've ever written:

He shoved her off his shoulder none-too-gently, scowling as he looked skyward, as if searching for another fleet of hostile ships to arrive and grant him the sweet release of death. When none came, he settled for another hearty gulp of whiskey. He had to be halfway to knackered by now. “You’re insufferable,” he grumbled.

“I know.” She smiled a smile that felt damn near genuine and collapsed back against the grass, swinging her legs out over the crevasse.

“I don’t even feel bad about all this anymore.” Theron complained. “You deserve it.”

Rea only laughed. A real laugh, all the way up from her belly, and it felt so fucking good.

Theron looked at her from the corners of his bloodshot eyes, suspicious and too clever by half. “Fuck,” he swore, shaking his head. “You just mindfucked me, didn’t you?”

2k18 Author’s Choice:

1. when the wicked play. After witnessing his first real lightsaber duel, Doc reflects on the contradictions of what the Jedi are supposed to be and the realities of fighting a war. (SWTOR)

This might be one of my very favorite things I've written ever. In case it wasn't clear by now, I am pretty preoccupied with making myself feel the weight of the violence and uncertainty and war that plagues you in this game. It all feels so clean and sanitary in the game because it's a game, but it's something I always want to explore and make visceral in the stories I tell about the game. I am also obsessed with Jedi and the mythos and conflicting ideas that must surround them inside the story's universe. This was a fun way to marry the two and do a bit of character work at the same time. I'm also pretty proud of this one structurally, with how contained and bookended it is. [high fives self] Anyway here's my favorite part because it's some of the only action I've written that feels like it captures the brutal urgency of how I imagine actual lightsaber combat and also says a little bit about my girl Rea via the way she fights:

Rea is little more than a blur of blue light as she collides with the Sith across the field, her sabers swinging too fast for Doc’s eyes to track. She’s hammering her enemy from every side, pushing him back and back and back. Her assault is savage and relentless and there is nothing like grace or elegance in any of it. It isn’t beautiful; it’s violence. Ugly, brutal violence.

The whole thing is over in less than a minute.

Blue meets red meets blue meets blue meets blue meets red and then the Sith’s head is hitting the floor with a muffled thump. It happens so abruptly Doc doesn’t even realize it’s ended until the rest of the body collapses a heartbeat later.

2. shadows settle on the place that you left. In the wake of her father’s death, Nyria Ryder tries to reconcile the man she knew with the shadow he left hanging over her. (Mass Effect: Andromeda)

Look! Something that isn't SWTOR! (The only thing I wrote this year that wasn't for SWTOR.) I have a whole bunch of feelings about Alec Ryder and had a really good time porting Rea over to this game and seeing the ways his presence in her life altered who she is and the ways that it didn't. Also I have a lot of feelings about SAM. This is probably peak self-indulgence but I still feel like this is some efficient sketching of Nyria's character and Alec's and their particular relationship and I'm pretty proud of it. Also I'm always a slut for complicated familial relationships. Here is my favorite bit because it's such a nice illustration of who Ria is and an important turning point for her character:

She decided to be kinder to SAM than the universe had been to her. He was her brother, just as much as Rhys, and she was all he had. She would have to make sure herself was enough.

“He believed in us both,” she told him what he needed to hear, even though it wasn’t true. Then she made a promise she could not keep, because she knew he needed that too: “You and me are going to figure this thing out. Just you watch. We’re gonna make Alec proud.”

All the same stuff I said above applies here still. Glad we can all agree this one was nice.

State of the WIPs

Just for fun I did a dive into my WIP folder to see what I'm setting myself up for in 2019! Only it wasn't very fun at all because there is so much really old stuff in here!!!!!! Good luck to future me because past me really left you with the bag girl! Good luck carrying the weight of hopes and dreams and stories unfulfilled!!

I have a total of 48 fics in progress right now. The fandom breakdown is as follows, ranked from the most to the least: Star Wars: The Old Republic (35), Dragon Age (8), Mass Effect: Andromeda (4), Fallout 4 (1). And because I'm a masochist, I looked at the dates on all this shit too. Here's the breakdown of what year all of these things were started:

2014: 4 fics

2015: 9 fics

2016: 15 fics

2017: 11 fics

2018: 9 fics

That sound you hear is me sobbing in the distance. 2014!!! What the fuck!!!!! I am gonna finish those four fics this year if it kills me. We aren't living like this anymore. Please enjoy some samples from the WIP folder with absolutely no context:

“You carry sleeping pills in your pocket?”

“For my wife. Maybe you’ve met her? About this high--” Doc raised his hand half a foot over his own head “--brown hair, blue eyes, great ass.”

Ignoring the commentary on his sister’s figure and the extreme overestimation of her height, Rhese nodded. “I may have seen her around.”

“Well if you see her again, you tell her to come home. Her family’s worried.”

Do you hear that Rea? Your family is worried. Rhese wondered if she could feel their concern, their anguish. Was she searching for them as they searched for her? She’d always been good at hiding, but she’d never vanished completely before. A hole in the Force where her warm, fervent energy should have been.

He felt cold. Really alone for the first time in his life. Careful what you wish for, Liss had always said. You might just get it.

Ossus is important.

Rea feels it when she falls out of hyperspace, that shift, that tug of something just behind her navel. The familiar weight of destiny, settling like a stone in the pit of her stomach. It leaves her breathless, white-knuckled and gripping the shuttle’s controls, her skin prickling under the cold caress of dread.

She wasn’t expecting this story to have a happy ending—a colony of Jedi on the eve of war? she’s danced that dance enough times to know the steps by now—but she wasn’t expecting anything so bad as the draw of destiny.

Fate has never been anything but cruel to her. Feeling it here, now? This is going to be worse than she imagined.

This is how you deal with failure.

You just do.

You get up in the morning and brush your teeth. You train until your legs wobble beneath you. You choke down your nutripaste and ask Simms about his niece. You congratulate Tarinik on her promotion. You laugh too loud at Vortena’s shit jokes. And when Beniko’s eyes follow a little too close, you blow her a kiss like it doesn’t matter at all.

You keep moving forward because standing still will kill you. Because life is a race and if you slow down for even a second, death will catch up.

Nirea Velaran is not ready to die.

She is not maleficarum, but she is changed. Something is awake inside her now, and the whispers are louder each time she touches the Fade. Sweet, coaxing whispers full of promises. Some of them sound like her mother.

Take care of your brother, Niria. You’re all he’s got.

In the morning, Qarric wakes with a pounding head and an empty sleeve. He never asks, but he watches her more sharply, reprimands her more often, demands more of her in training.

When she is fourteen, blade tucked into the top of her worn boot, he gives her a warning. “You aren’t as strong as you think,” he says. “No one is.”

“Is it much farther?” Ria jabbed the bladed end of her stave--a fancy enchanted thing Vivienne had insisted on--into the sodden ground and squinted through the trees, praying for a glimpse of the promised coast. The air smelled of salt and death and the sea, but she hadn’t seen a single crashing wave yet.

“A few more miles yet,” Blackwall answered irritably. Ria had elected to blame the weather for his foul mood. “Same as it was five minutes ago, Your Worship.”

“And five minutes before that,” Varric added.

“Conditions are much safer inside the ship, Nyria.”

“Didn’t come all the way out here to be safe, SAM.” Another rock plinked hollowly against the wall of the prefab. “We came to see new planets and shit. That’s what I’m doing.”

“There is not much to see at night.”

“Not much to see during the day either. Sure as hell nothing worth dying for.” She huffed a bitter not-quite-laugh.

She spoke before he could even open his mouth to ask the question. “You’re overthinking it, little brother.”

“We’re twins,” he said, mostly out of habit. “And I’m taller.”

“Your hair is taller.”

“This is serious, Nyria.”

“So is your hair.” She reached out almost absent-mindedly to ruffle it, eyes still fixed on her omni-tool, but he dodged out of the way.

#long post #idk what else to tag this as #so long 2k18!!!!#you were a bitch of a year and i hated you!!!!!#good vibes & righteous anger for 2k19!!

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