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#my work is shutting down again because of covid
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so turns out my brain was not chilling out on interpreting being around other people as a constant threat and it was just waiting for another trigger to come back full force
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invisiblerhythmcat · 2 years
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(I'm off at this retreat for a program I did a few years ago for community-focused artists and, like, literally no one was prepared to see me with a cane, and it's been almost comical how awkward they all are about it.
But also, I forgot how much I fucking loved this people.
Like, it's just so good to be around people who are just genuinely wonderful people and also people who think I'm awesome and do good work, especially since I've been going through a period of thinking I'm a terrible dance teacher, and, like, my roommate just walked in the room, I didn't know who it would be and she just squealed in excitement and that has been happening all day. And it's just so very good.)
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countcvnt · 2 months
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Experiment
Chapter Two: Bad Dreams
[Poly!TF141/Fem!Reader]
[Ch. One]
Summary: You realize, while asleep, that just because you're out of the facility doesn't mean you're completely free. Warnings: Canon Typical Violence, mentions of blood and vomiting (nothing too graphic), Angsty Simon Word Count: ~3.5k (don't quote me on that) A/N: Was gonna wait to post this, but it's on my AO3 already (i posted this first ch. a couple days ago on there, but am just posting it here now) so i wanna post it here too. I have Covid, and time to write, so why not post it now? Hope you enjoy~ The angst is only going to pick up from here tbh
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You toss and turn in bed. Your covers are strewn across the room and you’re sweating. Your eyes are screwed shut as you lie there whimpering. You can’t even force yourself awake.
“You are not acting very nice.”
Your gaze does not even meet the scientist’s. His eyes bore into yours, but you can not force yourself to look at him. Instead, you stare at the floor. Your mind is racing, you are everywhere and nowhere all at once.
“Did you hear me?” He asks. You nod. “Then act better.” He marks something down on his clipboard and you watch him closely now. “Next time, there will be no warning. You will be punished.”
You nod again. Your hands rest on your thighs, gripping your bare thighs and shaking violently. Your whole body is shaking. At this point, you can’t think of a time you weren’t shaking. Your eyes cut from the man’s hands and up to him. You see the reflection of the bright lights of the lab in his glasses. You sniffle slightly.
“You look sick.” He looks up at you, his eyes meeting yours. You don’t look away this time. “After all this-” He motions around him. “That won’t happen anymore. You won’t have to worry about silly little sickness or your immune system at all. You know, after all of this, you will be the best.”
If it works, You think. You are almost certain you should have died by now. You have absolutely no clue what they have been injecting you with. You know it makes you sick. That’s about the extent of your knowledge. Well, you also know, you can die at any given moment. Whether the medicine or the guards around you takes you. Something can happen any time, and you just have to let it happen.
You remember lying in your ‘room’, throwing up blood and bile. No one checked on you. Not until the next round of testing. They gave you nausea medicine and you only hoped it’d work. Now, you're staring down the scientist who has ‘stuck by your side’ through all of the experiments. He is the only one who survived, you think. There have been several others. But you only saw them once or twice.
You aren’t sure if or how they died. You don’t like to think about it.
“We are going to test pain tolerance today.”
You perk up, in the least enthusiastic way possible. It caught your attention and set your skin ablaze. What does this entail? You can’t help but run through scenarios in your mind. The scientist pulls out a smaller syringe and places a needle in it. It’s full of a clear liquid. You don’t move. You’ve learned it’s best to not move.
He motions for you to hold out your arm. You do so, willingly. You’ve also learned it’s best to do as you’re told. He injects the needle into a vein and you try to stay relaxed. You whimper and shut your eyes. Suddenly, everything is on fire. Your body burns. A scream releases from your throat and you fall from the metal stool you had been sitting on. You curl up, clawing, scratching at your skin.
You begin to beg, “Please!” You scream for someone to stop it. “Please, help me!”
“Don’t worry,” His voice is so monotone. “It’ll pass. This is completely normal.”
You sit there, screaming and crying as the pain grows worse. You wonder if you yell loud enough if the guards would step in. But, so far, no one has stepped in. No. One. You can’t count on anyone. Not anymore. Your clawing slows down, the burning subsides. You relax and let out a small whimper. You sit up and inhale slowly. You slump over and look up at the man in front of you.
“Better?” He asks. You nod. “Good, now get back up.” You follow his instructions. “Now, I have a scalpel here. I’m going to poke you-” Your eyes widen. “-I’m not going to stab, or cut deep. I’m just checking pain levels.”
You sit back on the stool and hold your arm out again. The man grabs the scalpel from the side table and pokes into your arm. Blood rises and drips down. You feel pressure from the poke, but nothing else. You don’t react. You soon find out, maybe you should have.
“Hm, nothing?” Everything seems to be going according to plan for him and whoever was coordinating this. “Okay, next test.”
The scalpel is dug into your skin. Dull pain comes to the area, but you aren't feeling anything you should be feeling. You are too startled to scream. Blood rushes down your forearm and your eyes widen. You have learned to not pull away, so you stay there.
“Astounding…” He grabs the gauze from the small table and wraps your arm. “We will continue testing this in the morning.” He motions for some guards to come in. “I have to make sure that this… This is permanent.”
“If it’s not?” The words slip out.
“We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.”
The words, his tone, they send chills up your spine. You are grabbed, harshly, by the guards and pulled into the hallway, out of the little, ‘cozy’ lab. Your eyes adjust to the dim lights of the hall and you squint. You are dragged to your ‘room’. The guard flashes his card in front of the door and it slides open. They toss you in, you hit the floor. There is no pain this time.
You want so badly for that to be a good thing. You can’t help but feel sick to your stomach though. You crawl to your mattress and lay down. You don’t even have a cover. You sigh. You curl up and go to sleep.
You wake in a cold sweat. A scream rips from your throat and your body tenses. Your breathing is ragged and a knock is coming from your door. You look towards it. You examine your surroundings. You exhale trying to calm yourself.
“Ace!” The knocking becomes violent.
Your brows furrow. You stand from your bed and walk towards the door. You swing it open and find Gaz standing there. His eyes lock with yours, before falling to your sweaty, sticky form.
“Who’s Ace?” You ask, not caring that he is probably staring at your chest.
“Sorry,” He mumbles and tries to close your door. “I shouldn’t-”
“No,” You swat at his hand, opening the door further. “Who is Ace?” A cool breeze hits your bare legs and you realize why he’s being so funny. Your mouth forms an ‘o’ and you step back. You remember that you’re wearing your tank top and panties. You grab your shorts and throw them on. “I’m Ace, aren’t I?” You finally ask.
“That is… Was your call sign.”
You notice Gaz swallow hard. You can’t help but wonder what has him so shook up. He had to have seen some thighs and cleavage before. It registers, he must not have seen yours. You make note of that.
“It’s okay, Gaz,” You reassure him, “I promise it’s fine if you look at me.” You’re trying to not laugh. You can’t help but smile though. His eyes cut from the floor and up to you.
“Are you laughing at me?” He asks, you can see him grow embarrassed and irritated.
“You’re being silly,” Your smile widens. You watch Gaz relax. You cock your head. “Acting like I’m the first pair of thighs you’ve seen in your life.”
Gaz groans. “You don’t like-” He stops himself. “You used to not be comfortable with us seeing you like this. I don’t wanna overstep any boundaries.”
“You’re very sweet, Kyle.” He lights up as you call him by his name. “I do remember being that way though… I had always been that way ever since I can remember.” Which isn’t very much, you decide it would be best to not joke about that though. “But, I guess becoming a little lab rat kinda nipped that in the bud.”
Gaz doesn’t ask further questions. “I came to check on you, because you’re thirty minutes late.”
“Let me guess,” you purse your lips, “I used to never be late.”
Gaz is at a loss for words. “Well, no! You and Price were always first at debriefings.”
You note that as well. “I guess I need to change?” You question him. Gaz keeps from dropping eye contact. You are sure you need to change. Going to whatever you needed to go to, with nothing but a tank top and shorts on would probably not be the best look on your first real day back. “I’m fucking with you, Gaz.” You turn from him and he huffs. You grab some clothes from the dresser. Gaz excuses himself and you decide it’s best to not fuck with him further.
As he closes your door, you begin to mentally prepare yourself for what the day holds. You know you’ll be digging up old memories. You know recent wounds will resurface. You have to prepare now. You run through different questions and answers.
You're on autopilot as you get dressed. You finish up and walk back towards your door. You swing it open and find Gaz waiting. “Oh, you’re still here.”
“Figured you’d need help finding the room. Unless you don’t-”
“No, no,” You interrupt, “I don’t- I don’t know where the room is.” Having to admit that hurts. Gaz catches that. He doesn’t say anything further. You follow him down the hall and through a corridor. You reach a double door and Gaz lets you in first. You spot Price, then Soap, then Ghost. Every last one of them seems uncomfortable.
You walk into the middle of the room and stand there. The door closes behind Gaz and he walks up beside you. You stand there waiting for anyone to say something. No one breaks the silence, so you decide to.
“I don’t think I like sleeping alone.” You look at Price. “I haven’t- I didn’t have a roommate in the-” You keep stopping yourself. “It’s been a while since I’ve had a roommate. I don’t know how I'd react to one. But I can not sleep alone.”
Price nods. “That can be fixed.” He is reassuring. “We'll get you set up with-”
“I want it to be one of you.” You interrupt him. All of them tense. “I know I don't remember much of anything… but you four seem to know me the best. I want it to be one of you four.” You nod to yourself as you say the last sentence.
“Do you have a preference?” Price seems like he isn't judging who you pick, but you can't help but feel like they're all judging which one you pick.
“How about-” You place a finger on your chin. “We could alternate?”
“Alternate sleeping arrangements?” Ghost speaks up.
“That can be arranged.” Price nods. “We can talk more about that later. We really need to figure out what you do know.”
“Easy,” you shrug, “I know I have a mom and dad- We moved a lot growing up. I know that I used to be self conscious.” You remember this morning.
“Used to be?” Soap asks.
“Well, yeah, being stuck in a lab changes a person.” The whole room becomes uncomfortable. “Sorry…”
“It's alright, love,” Gaz pats you on the back, and you look at him. You don't tense. You don't attack. You just stare. Your stomach flips out how he says ‘love’. “But that's not what he meant. Do you have any information on what was happening?”
You inhale slowly and close your eyes. “Okay. I don't know where I was. But I do know people came and… uh went. A lot. Do I know where they went? No. I'm assuming the guards took care of them. It was too important for people to just come and go as they pleased. The experiments were too-” You pause. “Classified. But the scientist that was with me when Soap saved me, that was my main scientist. I never got anyone's name. They said I would get, uh, stuff like that if the experiments fully worked. I'm not sure they ever had it work though-”
“On others?” Ghost interrupts. You nod. “There were others?”
“Yeah. I mean, I think so. I overheard a couple times, of different,” you pause again, thinking of what they called you, “subjects just… dying. In reality, I don't know why I'm not dead. I also believe there were more because I was dubbed Subject Five. There were, I assume, four before me. Unless they just wanted to call me Five.” You shrug, growing uncomfortable. “I do know, for a fact, they were only getting military personnel.”
“Dae ye ken how come thay picked ye?” Soap is about as uncomfortable as you are now.
“Not entirely. But the scientist had said that I was compliant. I was… pliable, that is the word he used when I walked in for the very first round of testing. He didn't want me. He made that very known. But he had me, so he did everything he could to make everything work. It wasn't always smooth. But,” you shrug, “it is what it is.”
You see Ghost shift. He looks angry. It's making you more uncomfortable. “What do you mean, it wasn't always smooth?”
“The testing was extensive. The amount of times I've been poked and jabbed is unknown at this point. I mean,” you roll your head to the side, exposing your neck, “I have little scars littering my body from… everything.”
Price can tell you're growing tense. “Have you eaten this morning?”
“Not hungry.” You respond, trying to seem as normal as possible. “But, I would like to shower… I haven't had a hot shower in, uh, four months. I only ever got cold ones.”
“One of us can show you where-”
“No, no,” you wave your hand, “I saw it earlier. I'm sure I can find it myself. You four probably have a lot to talk about. I'll be out of your hair now.” You force a smile.
You exit the room and head back to your room. That probably wasn't going to be your room much longer. You grab some clothes and head towards the showers.
Your head hurts and you want nothing but to sit in hot steam and scrub yourself under scalding hot water. You make your way into the showers and find it empty. You sigh. You go into one of the little showers and close the door. You turn on the water and relax as the warmth hits you. You groan and roll your head back. It's the nicest you have felt in months. ——————————— Simon has not felt so angry in so long. He wants to find who did this to you and kill them. Every single one of them. The way you had seemed to shrink when talking about what happened. How you look to be a shell of your former self. And how you probably don't even remember your former self.
“What do you mean we are going to alternate sleeping arrangements?” Johnny asks. Simon wants to know how it’s going to work too.
“That’s up to her.” Price finally says. “I’m assuming she’ll pick one of us to stay with during the night. We can change it every night. Or however often she needs.”
Simon needs you to pick him. But, he also hopes you don’t. Your last interaction with him has seemed to have left a horrible taste in his mouth. He wants to protect you so badly, still. Maybe you don’t need it now, or anymore. But he has to. Even if you don’t remember what happened.
“Simon,” Price’s voice is low, soft, reassuring. “This is not your fault.”
“You keep saying that.” He growls. “You weren’t there. I was. End of story.”
Simon plays the night over and over in his head. Every day. Ever since you were taken. The night at the safe house. It was you and him… It could have been him they snatched up. But it had to be you. He can’t stop thinking about how differently it could have been if it were him they took. He isn’t so pliable… His blood is boiling.
“Ghost,” Johnny speaks, bringing him back down, “she’s okay now.” He places a hand on Simon’s shoulder and tries to reassure him. Everyone is so reassuring… Simon wishes they would stop. He isn’t used to not being able to contain himself. And yet, here he stood. Seething. Ready to bash the heads in of anyone who even thought about bringing harm to you. He can’t take it.
“Fuck this.” He needs to clear his head. “I gotta go.”
Price, Johnny, and Kyle let him leave. Simon thinks maybe a hot shower would help him as well. He inhales deeply as he walks towards the showers. The door swings open and Simon realizes there is only one shower running. Good. All he can hear is water. Steam covers the room. It’s practically a sauna. The water stops running.
Then he hears it. Soft humming. A hum he knows he’s heard before.
Memories are flooding back. Your fingers running through his hair, his head on your chest, and your soft hums the only thing he can hear. Suddenly he can’t breathe. He’s frozen. He’s moving in autopilot momentarily. He’s making his way towards you. He spots you. A towel is wrapped tightly around you and your back is to him. Your hums turn to singing and Simon reaches you. He opens his mouth to speak and he realizes too late he has startled you.
He’s reaching for your shoulder when your hand grabs him. You swing him around and slam him into the concrete wall. Every bit of breath is knocked out of Simon. Your hand is on his throat and your eyes are dark. Simon notes they’re way darker than he’s ever seen.
“Oh. It’s you.”
“You’re in the men’s showers.”
Simon watches as your face drops. You look around. “No one was in here. I didn’t- My brain was too foggy.”
Simon’s hands are up. He relaxes as you let him go and his eyes don’t leave yours as you fix the towel covering you. His eyes briefly drop and he looks at the scars littering your skin. You were right. They’re mostly smaller scars, but there is one on your forearm, right under the bend of your elbow. There was force behind that one.
“Should have let us show you where it was.” He smiles under his mask. You look embarrassed. “I’ll make sure no one comes in, if you wanna get dressed, love.”
It slips out. Naturally. He tenses as the word leaves his lips. Love… His back is to you as you get dressed. He does not dare peek. As he begins to relax, words leave your mouth causing him to tense all over again.
“Ghost?”
He wants you to call him Simon. “Hm.”
“Gaz called me ‘love’ earlier too… I know it’s a British thing, but the way you both said it-” Simon tenses as you pause. “What were we? All of us?”
Simon really does not know how to answer that. He can easily tell you about him and Johnny, or about Price and Gaz. But you? Fuck, it was confusing. He didn’t entirely know what you were with the others. But he did know the both of you were close. But, never like that…
He says your name. His eyes shut. “That’s complicated.”
“Hm…” He hears you hum. “You can turn around now.”
Simon turns to find you approaching him. You’re dressed and holding your towel in your hands. “Sorry about earlier… I don’t know what happened. I didn’t know it was you-”
“It’s fine.” Simon motions for you to walk in front of him, letting you leave before him. He watches you closely. He wonders if you can feel his eyes on you. If you can, you don’t say anything. Simon wants nothing more than to reach out, rest his hand on the small of your back, and walk you to where you’re going. He refrains.
“I’m sort of hungry now…” Your words bring Simon back. “Can you show me to the cafeteria?”
Simon nods, “Of course.”
He walks in front of you. His body begins to lead the way, while his brain is stuck on you slamming him into the wall. He can’t stop thinking about it now. Processing it. You looked absolutely feral, and a little terrified. He tenses, his fingers curling into his palms, as he thinks about what happened to you to make you that way.
Simon doesn’t want to have to go through the pain of remembering certain things. But he hopes that if you do remember who snatched you up, that you will tell him who it was. So that he can cause them just as much turmoil.
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dingustripas · 1 year
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I just finished watching Glass Onion for the third time so now you get to hear my rant about it but the details are out of order in the timeline because I’m lazy
(SPOILERS AHEAD)
When Miles lifts the gun off of Duke, we can actually see it pre-Blanc explaining it. The scene where the two hug you can see Miles take the gun and slip it into the back of his jeans.
Following the gun thing, we, the viewers actually SEE the gun itself (pre-Blanc’s explanation) when Miles goes back to the mini bar to put it in the ice bucket. Although it’s kind of hard to see it’s very clearly a gun but our eyes manipulate our minds into thinking it’s a drink because it is indeed a minibar.
They show how Miles places the drink in Dukes hand pre Blanc’s explanation but quickly distract us with the groups dynamic and Birdie.
Phillip is skeptical of Helen when she asks for Blanc, we can assume that he and Blanc have had negative run ins with people from jobs. Also Phillip might be judging Helen’s character, who she is, because he doesn’t want to put Blanc into a situation where he’s in true danger. He’s a detective not Batman.
Birdies mask at the beginning of the movie at the boat is just fucking chains across her face in diamond pattern.
Blanc doesn’t have a gag reflex when the dude in the white suit puts Miles “covid vax” down his throat. (Bc he’s 🏳️‍🌈)
Andi, when she first comes up with the idea for Alpha and starts working with Miles, is wearing dark colors. The dark blue pinstripe suit, her completely black ensamble when we see her at the Glass Onion (the bar). But when she’s challenging Miles she’s wearing both Black and white. At the trial she’s wearing a light almost off white suit. Why is this important? Because what color is Helen wearing when she shuts miles down? White. The color white is, in itself, a color that symbolizes Miles downfall.
Connecting back to the white idea, Whiskey is wearing all white (her bathing suit) when she reveals crucial information about Miles giving her the Taurus necklace for her birthday. (Which leads to his downfall when Blanc puts 2+2 together that he killed Andi)
“Im really bad at dumb things” -Blanc. The reason he didn’t catch on to what was going on with Miles earlier was because Miles is stupid. Miles is so dumb that he fucking befuddled Blanc because Miles is so stupid.
Blanc isn’t uncomfortable about his arousal around Birdie when she put her legs up on him while Miles talks about being ‘Disrupters’. He’s uncomfortable because he’s GAY and has a BOYFRIEND/HUSBAND.
There’s a bunch of owls and small trinkets of birds in Birdies room.
The movie, at the very beginning, with Miles mystery invitation box thing hints at where the envelope is hidden. The fibonacci sequence on the box has the center blocked out in black, where we will later see in the film is red which is where Miles is hiding the envelope. For fucks sake the movie even goes out of its way, with Dukes mother, to point out the sequence. (“The first one’s a fibonacci sequence” -Dukes mom).
During the dinner Whiskey is wearing the same golden chain body jewelry that Birdie was wearing earlier at the pool. So this could mean two things: 1. They have the same chain and 2. Whiskey borrowed the chain from Birdie.
Now connecting to my first point about the chain jewelry above. The reason why Miles likes Whiskey, despite her sleeping with him for the sake of Dukes channel, is because Whiskey reminds him of younger Birdie. Birdie even talks to Peg about how dazzled and amazed Miles was when he first met her and how she wishes it was like that again. Then when they’re smashing the glass sculptures, the first thing Whiskey smashes is a sculpture of a bird. Hence smashing Miles perception of her as another person he can use like he used Birdie.
“You have him turn around so he can have deniability” -Aaron Burr in Hamilton (Basically what Blanc was thinking when he walked out of the room)
When Blanc is trying to light his cigar in the “Smokeless garden” the reason the alarms go off is because because just the smoke and small flames from Blanc’s cigar could cause “another Hindenburg”.
The ending scene with Helen and Blanc after Blanc asks her if she’s ready to go home, Helen’s sitting stance mimics the Mona Lisa. Miles said “It all started with her” in reference to his success being inspired by the Mona Lisa. But it all ended with Helen and her stance at the end mimicking the Mona Lisa is meant to represent that. The beginning and end of Miles Bron.
Blanc refers to alchol as offering Helen “some courage”. Ofc as we all know alcohol is commonly referred to as “Liquid Courage”.
We should’ve known Miles was the killer for this simple reason: The glass he handed to Duke. Duke dying holding Miles’s glass is literally like a signed note. Duke died with Miles name literally written on the crime scene.
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theyluvkarolina · 2 months
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Saw your post about requests being open and had this idea and I didn’t want to fall asleep and forget about it. Idk if you do Esteban Ocon but yeah. Esteban and Kpop idol, she real famous and she’s been soft launching someone for years but never revealed them because her management won’t allow her to reveal who it is. Anyways her contract ends and she reveals that the person she’s been soft launching is Esteban and they’re actually married and have a kid. (You can pick the gender). Thanks. Love the two works you put out already and can’t wait to read more 🫶
𝐅𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐇 𝐓𝐖𝐈𝐒𝐓
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. ୨୧⭒๋࣭ ⭑ ` ` why the french guy bro 😞 … ` ` ⊹ ‧₊˚
𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 ୨୧ kpop and f1? what on earth would that have in common? a lot actually!
𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 ୨୧ esteban ocon x reader
𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐄 𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐌 ୨୧ most photos are of jennie!
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 ୨୧ cursing, reader speaks her mind lol, pregnancy and kids?
𝐀/𝐍 ୨୧ I would be lying if I said I didn’t start tearing up at the end 🥹🩶 thank you so so much! people like you encourage me to keep going :)) Fair warning, I’m practically clueless about K-pop… but I still tried my best! I decided against having the reader be part of a group, but rather a soloist, just for my sake until I gain more knowledge. again, thank you so much lovely, I hope you and everyone else enjoy 🫶
this is def the longest one yet 😵‍💫
some of the concept isn’t exactly the same, but I definitely tried to best to give what you requested!
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TWITTER, 2019
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INSTAGRAM, 2019
therealyn_ln
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therealyn_ln merci, paris! thank you to all who joined the show!
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username3 i literally couldn’t stop screaming,… best show yet!
→ therealyn_ln tysm! You fans always encourage me to try even harder!
username7 oh she’s totally ignoring the recent news flash…
→ username9 what news?! → username10 apparently, she was seen with some guy after her show in Paris!
username8 who is the mystery man?!
username11 why is no one mentioning the fact that esteban ocon is in the comments?!
→ username12 the fact that a f1 driver is even in the comments of a kpop idol is strange enough. → username13 it’s not even that, he WATCHED the show!
estebanocon glad to know you loved Paris! The show was amazing!
*liked by therealyn_ln!*
urmanagersuser call me. right now.
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therealyn_ln my biggest supporter 🧸🤎
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COMMENTS ON THIS POST HAVE BEEN TURNED OFF…
TWITTER, 2021
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INSTAGRAM, 2021
therealyn_ln
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therealyn_ln Me 🤝 First F1 Race! Honored to be a part of Alpine’s garage tonight! Wonderful work by @ fernandoalonso and @ estebanocon!
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fernandoalonso Of course. You are always welcome. 👍
username14 WHO IS THAT MAN??? I’VE BEEN WAITING SINCE ‘19!
username15 we lost her guys 😔😔
username16 Y/N and F1?! My life is at it’s highest!
username17 is that… the guy at her Paris show before the COVID-19 shut down?!
alpinef1team Thank you, Y/n! Overjoyed to have you join our garage and team! You certainly energized us this race 😉
estebanocon always willing to win! especially with your support 😊
username18 I can’t be the only one that’s been noticing something fishy lately…
estebanocon
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liked by lance_stroll and therealyn_ln
estebanocon celebrating in style 🥂
5,213 comments
username19 estie bestie!!
username20 uhmm…. the dinner photo?!
username21 WHO IS HE WITH 🤔 🤔
username22 surely Y/N posting that photo with her soft launch bf and estie’s dinner isn’t a coincidence…
alpinef1team we keep pushing! 👊
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therealyn_ln Hello fans, for the next upcoming year, I will be taking a break from music, and embracing the love of my fans, and finally being able to share my love for my husband with not just me, but to finally show it to all of you.
happy new years to all! Happy 2022 :)
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username21 why the french guy bro 😞
username19 HUSBAND?!
username22 SINCE WHEN WAS SHE MARRIED?!
username20 what happened to hi? my name is?
username18 I TOLD YOU GUYS SOMETHING I FISHY
alpinef1team Mr and Mrs L/N-Ocon 🫡
estebanocon ma beauté 🩷
*liked by therealyn_ln!* → therealyn_ln the prettiest :))
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therealyn_ln
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therealyn_ln happy anniversary my love! 🤍 this was the best gift anyone can receive. Loving you now and for forever.
username21 WHAT IS HAPPENING RN
username19 no way.
username22 A BABY ALREADY?
username20 i’m at a loss for words.
alpinef1team Future driver in the works! 🏁👀
estebanocon so happy to be part of this journey with you my love ❤️
→ therealyn_ln my favorite frenchie 🥐 → charles_leclerc :( → pierregasly damn. → francisca.cgomes don’t worry @ pierre_gasly you’re always my fav ❤️
therealyn_ln
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therealyn_ln welcome to the world baby Alix 🤍
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landonorris can’t wait to be the favorite uncle
→ charles_leclerc sorry to break it to you Lando, but i’m going to be the favorite → alex_albon you’re lying it’s me → lance_stroll definitely me → maxverstappen1 nope, me. → carlossainz55 lo siento, it’s me! → danielricciardo bursting your bubble! It’s none of you cause I’m right here! → logansargeant i can’t wait to teach them some american football :) → pierregasly it’s definitely not me.
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wabblebees · 2 years
Text
.
#iiiim gonna fucking cry. fuck. goddamnit. fuck me. i hate this#i just woke up at my desk in the middle of my last class ((which!! is the exam!!)) with a certain professor that i adore and already felt#like i disappointed last semester.#im so fucking TIRED and im so damn upset idk what to DO. do i show up to the last 15 minutes when i KNOW i dont umderstand what the quiz is#supposed to be on? do i apologise and beg to be allowed supplemental/make up quiz time?? i love this damn class but i missed the last two#periods we had in person bc of covid scares and so i meant to ask him for a make-up period anyway but now i feel like i disqualified myself#from that kind of help bc i fucked up EVERYTHING AGAIN. FUCK.#we were supposed to have a review day on tuesday to ask questions + shit but he had to cancel for medical reasons and was just gonna do the#review before the exam today. im so. im. fucking hell#i hate this i hate everything im so yired and falling asleep didnt even help. i didnt even go to the class before this one today!!! bc i was#fucking late!! and that sent me into a damn panic attack where i just hid in the fucking bathroom for the rest of the hiur!! AGAIN#so i was drained on top of not sleeping at all bc i was working on shit all night. again. again. againagainagain#none of this is an excuse bc its all all all still my fault and im. fucked. im fucked!! ive been trying so fucking hard all semestre and ive#never managed to catch up or even be on a reasonable/understandable/allowable level of behind -- so i just look like im not trying bc im!!#here!! im still fucking here!! panicking abt it wonderfing wtf to do. instead of doing ANYTHING helpful at ALL. so any chance of fixing it#has probably long slipped away while i sit here hyperventilating!!!!! fuck!!!!!#g o d fucking DAMNIT i just want to SLEEP and talk to my FRIENDS and see my fucking PARTNER and REMEMBER HOW TO BE A DAMN HUMAN PERSON again#i dont know how im going to manage that when im drowning in work and the second things started to feel more manageable ((BECAUSE i spoke to#my friends for the first time in months. BECAUSE i saw my partner for like 30 minutes on tuesday instead of going to the class that makes me#panic. BECAUSE i had enough of a full-body shut-down reset reboot rest when i passed out under my desk and got more than 45 minutes of#half-sleep half-dissociative breakdown that i felt less like a confused anxious sad zombie and more like a person yesterday.))#all of those 'hey this might not be as bad as i was afraid it was' manageable feelings fucking VANISHED bc i keep getting handed unintended#consequences!! unwanted and unexpected results of things i THOUGHT were fine choices in the moment but!! here i am!! here i fucking am!!#im so sorry this is so spirally im just. i literally dont know what to do at this point bc the idea of begging this particular professor for#anything rn feels like im taking advantage of how kind and accepting they are - especially after how my last semestre with them ended oh god#ohhh god. i felt so overwhelmed and out of it and disappointed in myself for not understanding the final that i wrote a full-ass apology#on the back of my final examn for that class ((saying stuff like'ik how wrong + terrible this is; this is not a reflection of your teaching#ability or my care abt this course bc i really do love this class and feel ive learned a lot but i just cannot for the life of me do any#better than this rn im so sorry)) and whrn i tell you this man is an angel ohhh my god. he was sooo kind about it and sooo understanding and#to pull p much the same bullshit this semestre makes me feel ATROCIOUS. bc i rly rly thought i was going to do better and i was rly excited
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rikamae · 6 months
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I understand now. I understand all of it.
All those times politicians claimed something was "too complicated" "not that simple" "we don't have the money" it's all lies to keep us complacent.
They did it about the situation is Israel. "It's too complicated" everyone said. It didn't look complicated when I did my own research, away from those shitty think pieces talking down to me. Israel was a state built off the blood of Palestinians, and they simply do not want you to think about it. Because there is oil in the middle east and Israel is our only "Ally"
Wow, so complicated! The complicated part being that our media is tricking us into thinking this is so complex so they can be evil in plain sight: yes, so complicated of a situation!!
And today I wake up to find that the House of Representatives (the lowest level of US government) has passed a bill offering 14 billion to Israel! It will go to the Senate to vote. Wow, billion with a B huh? I got a question for you.
Where the fuck did we get enough money to fund genocide? Where the hell was all this money when it comes to supporting the Americans you politicians claim to be representing? Where was this money for free college, universal Healthcare, covid precautions, the climate crisis??
"It's just too complicated! You'll make us do cuts on other programs! You'll make us raise taxes!! Think of the taxes!!!"
Then where did this money come from? Oh, the IRS, the fucking company that handles our taxes??? Yeah????? That was an option? Why wasn't it an option before but it is now? Were they over funded and we just didn't notice until now? Or are you taking advantage of the situation to cut funding to another service you hate?? The point being: if they really want something, they can find the fucking money. They haven't because they don't want to.
It's never been complicated. It's their job to move money around. It's their fucking job to raise our taxes and provide for us, but the only people they truly represent are the ones filling their pockets with lobby money. They could have done this long ago, given us what we've been demanding, but they coddled us and said it was too complicated and our baby brains couldn't handle it. And God forbid you be a woman!! That means you're double unable to understand!
Enough. Fucking enough. Every year congress votes to increase their wages and refuses to raise our minimum wage. Every year they take advantage of their medical insurance and benefits they get for "representing" us when nearly every adult I know is left to suffer with their conditions: untreated sicknesses, chronic conditions, the depression that looms over us because we live in the most wealthy country in the world but we can't make ends meet and our government is more concern with funding armies that feeding and housing us
Politics was never complicated. They just told us it was. To shut us up. To make us feel young and idealistic and stupid. And we fell for it. And now evil is moving through the wills of our leaders IN OUR FUCKING NAMES to support a genocide in the middle east. Their only crime was being born on that land. Their only crime is being Arab. That's not a fucking crime.
Our system isn't complicated. It's working as intended. Keep the people blind and claim that it's too hard, leave all the details to them. But we are smarter than they are. We are informed. The world is connected like never before and I refuse to let their propaganda ever reach me again.
Hold them accountable. Know their names. Write it in the history books. Let their legacy be known to the end of times.
Be loud about your anger. Go to protests. Write your reps to tell them your vote is on the line. And for God's sake vote in the damned elections!
THE IDEA THAT YOUR VOTE DOESN'T MATTER IS PROPOGANDA. THEY WANT YOU TO FEEL USELESS. THEY WANT YOU TO GIVE UP SO THEY STAY IN POWER.
They want you to think it's complicated. It never has been. Be loud. Vote. Use your right to protest. Use your right to free speech. Use your right to petition. Next Tuesday is election day. Make it fucking count.
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unreliablesnake · 1 year
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Unmute (Simon "Ghost" Riley x reader)
Summary: You're in the middle of a meeting while Simon's around.
Note: I have listened to soooo many people talking because they didn't know they unmuted themselves since covid began. And the office jargon... Don't get me started on that one.
Warnings: None. It's fluff.
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With a groan you threw your phone on the desk then unmuted yourself. "Okay, why don't you take this offline?" you asked, not even trying to hide your annoyance anymore.
Your co-workers were hesitating, one even brought up that the presentation had to be submitted today by EOD. You were glad you didn't turn on your cameras today, and you were sure as hell happy you had muted yourself again when this colleague pressed on, telling you all that she needed the exact and up-to-date numbers to work with.
Your boss knew you better than anyone from the call, so you weren't surprised to hear her silence that woman by saying, "Dave, let's circle back with Julie once you get the correct numbers, please."
"Will do," Dave said with a sigh.
You began to type a message to your boss on your phone, thanking her for putting an end to this bullshit when you felt a hand on your shoulder. Leaning your head back, you looked up and saw Simon watch you with a smile.
"Is it that entertaining?"
"This is your what? Fifth call today?" he asked, his thumb drawing circles on your skin. You quickly did the math in your head then nodded, confirming his words. "I have no idea how you do this on a daily basis. I'd rather have people trying to actively kill me all day long."
With a laugh, you turned your head just enough to kiss his knuckles. "You can get used to it," you told him.
Simon leaned down to kiss the top of your head before moving his hands around your body to pull you back against him. "Can I bring you anything?" he asked.
You returned your attention to the meeting again, hoping you didn't miss anything interesting, then looked back at him. "I could kill for a coffee."
"I'll get you one."
After you flashed a thankful smile at him, Simon went to the kitchen and you paid full attention to the meeting. They were back at it again, talking about a presentation that had absolutely nothing to do with this particular meeting. You quickly checked the list of participants and noticed your boss had left the meeting while you were preoccupied with your boyfriend.
Well, fuck. You were on your own.
Angry at the woman who just couldn't shut up, you unmuted yourself and said, "Julie, please, take this offline. Let's just return to the agenda, okay? Dave, you're done, I guess. Steven, you promised to show us the Q2 financial report, so why don't you begin?"
"Thank God," you heard him whisper, but his words were followed by shocked silence. "Oh, sorry, I thought I was still muted," he quickly apologized. "Anyway, I'll share my screen in a second, tell me if you see it."
You confirmed his screen was shared and he began his presentation. Simon returned in a minute, putting the cup in front of you before placing a soft kiss on your cheek. His big palm was resting on your shoulder, the contact making you purr like a kitten.
"So what's this?" he asked, keeping his lips close to your ear.
"Our latest financial report. Boring stuff," you explained with a laugh. "Seriously, I'd rather drown myself in you than listen to this. But sadly, I have no choice."
"Honey," Simon said quietly, "I think you're not muted."
Your eyes opened wide as you checked the screen and noticed he was right. "Shit, sorry," you quickly said before muting yourself.
In a matter of hours everyone and their mother would know what you just said. Simon only laughed as he went back to reading his book, while you were paying close attention to the presentation you had just called boring in front of about eighty people.
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flanaganfilm · 1 year
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I tend to get obsessed with scenes where actors have a particularly outstanding performance. I find myself revisiting them over and over again just to relive the moment. Several examples of this, but one that I just love is in Midnight Mass when Kate and Zach are on the rowboat. What's it like experiencing that live, during production? Are you aware in the moment of how special it is or does that become more evident in post? Love to hear any and all details behind the scenes of how those get made. Also curious what scenes from your favorite movies/TV standout as particularly compelling performances by the actors.
This scene is a strange one, because it was the first thing we shot of the whole series. We had been shut down since March 2020 when the initial COVID lockdown hit, and were the first show in North America to go back into production that summer. We didn't know how to do that, and were juggling constantly evolving safety protocols as we tried to figure out how to shoot in this new world. Because a lot of our sets weren't ready to shoot when we came back, we opted to start easy - on our stages, with blue screen work. The boat scene is shot entirely on blue screen, we didn't even have water - the boat was gently rocked back and forth by grips. Kate and Zach were asked to do this huge, heavy, insanely difficult and emotional scene ON OUR FIRST DAY. I had asked them a few weeks prior if they'd be okay with that, as I was worried - they hadn't built their characters yet. They hadn't put a single scene down to draw from. But both said they'd do it, and so we threw them into the deep end.
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(That's DP Michael Fimognari in the boat, trying to adjust lighting through his goggles) It was a VERY weird day. We were all wearing KN95 masks and goggles, the actors had to wear full masks and face shields when we weren't rolling. It was absolutely surreal and just about impossible for anyone to get into any headspace that felt like we were doing scene work. I had been fitted with modified motorcycle goggles, as I needed eye protection to be near the actors (it was all more than a bit ridiculous.) There was a ladder on set - you can see it behind Michael in the picture above - and I started the day by climbing it to address the cast and crew. About ten words into my speech, my goggles completely fogged up and I couldn't see anymore. I had to be helped down the ladder by several grips. I remember the first rehearsal was insane because the actors weren't allowed to take off their masks, per Netflix safety protocols. I was also required to wear my mask and goggles throughout, so giving direction to actors who couldn't see my face was a brand new and deeply strange thing (I'd continue to work this way for the next two years, we all got used to it, but this first day was fucking WEIRD). Kate and Zach couldn't even really hear each other through the masks to rehearse, as it was such a quiet and intimate scene. I was standing a few feet away and couldn't hear a damn thing. It was additionally weird because all of the elements of the scene outside of the boat wouldn't be added for many, many months as we got into VFX. There was no water, no stars, nothing at all to look at but hanging blue curtains and masked crew members. I don't know how Kate and Zach were able to put all of that aside and deliver the performances they delivered - oh wait, I suppose I do know. It's because they are exceptional actors. Kate later told me she was so outside of her comfort zone that she had to just dive in and trust every single thing around her. The scenes in the boat ultimately came together beautifully, but I did apologize to both of them later in the shoot. It wasn't fair that we asked them to do that, to start like that, without letting them build any foundation. But both waved it off. Production is chaos, and that particular production was the very first out the gate with COVID, so everything was crazy. They took all of that vulnerability and uncertainty and discomfort and fear and turned it into a handful of scenes that roar with honesty. It's among my favorite moments in what may always be my favorite Intrepid series.
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estrellami-1 · 6 months
Text
Lay With Me (Sleep It Off)
Apparently one of the symptoms of covid is fevers… guess who just spent the last 5 or so days with a low-grade fever 🙄 it started with me waking up at 3am to use the bathroom, thinking I was fine until I got out of my (warm) bed and started shivering uncontrollably.
Also my eyes started hurting about halfway through so uh. If you see any typos. No you don’t ✌️
Steve wakes up to Eddie’s hand drifting over his skin.
It’s something that happens more often than not, nowadays, to the point where he rolls over and presses his hips to Eddie’s automatically.
Eddie’s hand stutters. “Baby?” He asks, and Steve frowns, because neither of them had expected him to be soft.
“Yeah,” he murmurs, still sleep-drunk. “Dunno.”
“You want it?” Eddie asks, then presses a kiss to his forehead and freezes again. “Oh, shit, baby, you’re hot.”
“Mmm,” Steve says. “Thanks.”
Eddie chuckles. “Though you are hot, that’s not the kind I’m talking about, babydoll. I think you have a fever.”
Steve frowns. “No, ‘m fine. Got work.”
“Unfortunately, I don’t think fevers care about our work schedules.”
“Rude,” Steve murmurs. “They should.” He sighs and tucks himself closer to Eddie, because he’s warm and Steve is a little bit cold. “Time’s it?”
“Almost eight.” He runs a hand down Steve’s back. “You’ve got a little over an hour.”
Steve smiles against Eddie’s throat. “You were gonna make me late.”
“Was not,” Eddie retorts, even though they both know that’s a lie.
Steve hums and wiggles further into Eddie’s warmth. “Gotta get up,” he says, doing absolutely nothing to do so.
Eddie keeps petting Steve’s back, which furthers his resolve to do nothing. “I think you should stay home, baby. If you’re sick…”
“Not,” Steve argues nonsensically. “Don’t have time.”
Eddie sighs, pressing a kiss to Steve’s temple. “Okay, baby. If you’re not sick, then you need to get up and get ready to take a shower, right?”
“Mhm,” Steve mumbles. “Come with?”
“Of course I will, baby. Following your lead here. You gonna get up?”
Steve groans, strangely feels like crying as he detaches himself from Eddie and shuffles across the bed to sit on the edge.
He stands after a second and walks to the closet, realizing as he’s reaching for a shirt that he’s trembling, shivering. He’s suddenly, viscerally aware of how cold he is, and he can’t stop his teeth from chattering as he looks to Eddie with a furrowed brow.
“Baby,” Eddie murmurs, pulling him into a hug and taking some of his weight. “You’re sick. You should be in bed.”
“No,” Steve murmurs, ashamed at the tears pricking at his lids. “Can’t- need to work-”
“I’ll call Robin,” Eddie soothes. “She’ll figure it out, ‘kay? But you know as well as I do that she’d tell you to stay home, too.”
Steve sniffles. “Don’t wanna be sick,” he mutters petulantly.
Eddie runs a hand through Steve’s hair. “I know, baby, it’s not fun, is it? Let’s get back in bed, I’ll make you a hot tea and call Robin, and then I’ll be right back and we can cuddle, alright?”
Steve nods slowly. “Tell Robin sorry.”
“I will, baby. You just focus on getting back into bed now, there you go. And I’ll be right back, m’kay?”
“‘Kay,” Steve agrees, letting his eyes slip shut again as chills continue to wrack his body.
Soon enough Eddie’s back with a tray of dry toast, hot tea, water, and some painkillers. Steve startles awake even though he’d only been half-asleep, and Eddie apologizes, rushing to place the tray down so he can assist Steve’s shaky arms in lifting his body to a seated position.
Steve is handed the water and meds first, then considers the tea and toast and shakes his head, trying to apologize. “It’s okay, baby,” Eddie murmurs. “They’ll keep, you need to eat something today, I’ll just heat them up later. I just wanna do what you need, m’kay? Right now your bodu is saying it needs more rest, and that’s just fine. C’mon, come lay down with me, go back to sleep, okay? Let’s try and sleep this off. I bet when you wake up, you’ll feel a hundred times better.”
“M’kay,” Steve murmurs, tucking his face into the crook of Eddie’s neck. “Thank you. Love you.”
“I love you too, baby,” Eddie whispers, sealing his vow with a kiss to the top of Steve’s head.
And with that, he drifts off to sleep.
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urf1lterr · 1 year
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lovesick | pedro pascal [3]
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"and on this night and in this light i think im falling, im falling for you."
next chapter: [4] previous chapter: [2] series masterlist
summary: in which a 1975-obsessed film student accidentally falls in love with an older man she can't have.
pairing: actor!pedro x intern!reader
genre: acting world!au, big age-gap!, strangers to friends- maybe lovers?? au | angst, mature, awkward, love- eventually
word count: 5.7k
status: in progress
author's note: in my head i have a certain way this story ends- but thats farrrr from this chapter. i couldn't stop laughing while writing this. i might have to rethink my ending bc i don't wanna make this series looooong. not edited.
Brutal banging on your bedroom door was not how you imagined to be awakened, especially when you were barely endearing maybe four hours of sleep.
Jolting up, you could feel your shoulders begin to ache as your severely tangled hair got stuck on the insides of your shirt. The shades in your room being shut, you had no sunlight whatsoever so you weren't sure what time it was.
Not like you needed to be anywhere important on a Wednesday- not until later anyway. Wednesday's were your arranged day off from school so you made sure to plan something productive to not feel more useless as you already were.
Typically, you were scheduled to work on these days- but we all know how that ended.
Thinking about your unemployment status aggravated you. The same day you were told you were going to be cut was actually your last despite being scheduled for the rest of that remaining week.
Oh how you wish you could say you didn't show up because of your stubbornness.
But frankly you had covid.
Not only did that job fire you, but they gave you a thoughtful farewell gift of a deadly virus to remember them goodbye.
Guess they took their storyline a little too seriously.
However, you did receive a few texts from your old coworkers wishing you well. At first, you wondered if Finn disclosed your personal medical information after you contacted him, but Jules admitted to doing so, swearing she only told Joon with the likelihood someone overheard and the rest was history.
Sadly, you barely talked to Pedro and Bella anymore.
The duo did reach out once they discovered you were sick and Bella would occasionally send you tiktoks at the most randomly times. But again, occasionally.
Pedro, on the other hand, never got back in touch after his 'feel better' text.
You weren't exactly distraught over it, it wasn't like you two made it your mission as friends to go out every day. But the thing was, you still did that when you worked together. Barely seeing him for a few seconds on some days in the past still meant you got to see him, but now you don't.
And strangely you miss him.
You always heard your coworkers discuss how considerate and down to Earth he was whenever they managed to work with him and you agreed. All the stories of him being one of the rarest, mindful human beings were true.
He was always the one spamming you with texts, but the only messages you received now were from your roommate, Joon, or the deals sent by your favorite food places.
But you weren't going to think too much of it. He's an adult, his days are always scheduled with new projects. You can't blame him for not making time for you.
Two weeks later here you were, using your extra free time to your advantage to stay up past midnight watching shows like Hell's Kitchen while eating ramen noodles.
The only con was you had the tendency to wake up late all the time.
Yanking the warm covers off your body, you slowly slip out of bed trying not to hit your desk by how poor your vision was at the moment. Opening your door, you give daggers to the other person behind it. "Is there a reason why you felt attempting to break my door was necessary?"
Jules sheepishly smiled, lightly rubbing the door in remorse before continuing. "I just wanted to remind you about our study date!"
"That's at 11."
"It's 10:32," she replied, pulling her phone out and showing you.
Gasping, you shut the door in her face before searching for clothes to wear. How could you possibly sleep in?
Actually, it was quite easy with American Horror Story having amazing plot twists. You decided to switch up your late night shows every now and then to spice things up.
But you were certain you turned on your alarm the night before. You must have slept through them. Damn, you were turning into Jules.
Quickly running to the bathroom to take a quick shower, you managed to finish the rest of your routine with ten minutes left to spare. You were certainly glad you could always count on the city's nonstop traffic as an excuse for your late arrivals.
Once you were able to catch a cab, which was a tremendous struggle considering your hand signals weren't clear enough to apprehend, Jules and you made it to a coffee shop a few streets away.
Being your designated place to study, you had to introduce Joon to it. He was practically the fifth member of the group, the third one being one of Jules' friend you frequently talked to and the fourth being the one you shared with Joon.
The best part about this cafe would have to be that it was two stories. You guess you could say you used the upstairs room conveniently when it came to debating, definitely not being afraid to raise your voice when your friends believed disagreeing with your opinions was acceptable.
"I didn't know a triple meant three shots of espresso," Joon pulled a disgusted face as Jules and you arrived to your familiar large booth. Sliding right next to him, you saw the coffee he was drinking was extremely dark. "I thought it meant three shots of creamer."
"For a guy who is phenomenally smart, you are phenomenally stupid," you heard your shared friend, Yoongi, comment after looking up from his notes.
The next hour consisted of the five of you centralizing your attention on your individual work before you decided you wanted to buy a coffee as your energy slowly drained away.
Walking down the stairs and placing a swift order, you stood to the side of the counter waiting as they prepared it. Scrolling through your phone to pass the short time, you felt someone near you.
"Hey, covid girl!" you heard a man exclaim, causing you to rush and shush him before the customers begin giving you the eye. "Long time no see."
"Don't expose me like that! I'm negative," you flush, tapping your fingers on your face to cool it down.
"Don't expose me," he clarifies, taking two steps back. "You're the one who's sick."
"Was," you groan, not standing for his teasing this morning. "Stop messing me with me, Nick. I am just a tired, broke college student who can't take anymore mocking in their life."
Nick chuckles, not denying that may be the case. He understands how you're feeling, he was once a student and knows how stressful it can be. Honestly, he can only imagine how tough it is now compared to when he last attended.
Inflation was no joke.
"I take it you're studying?" he eyes the large black frames on your head and the thick headphones around your neck. You only nod, making him laugh. "Very studious I see, it's a shame they let you go even after I told them not to. You could've done our taxes."
Pulling a forced smile, you just raise your right shoulder slightly not really wanting to talk about it much.
"Good thing I am very understanding," you joke.
"Hell, I wouldn't be," he curses, shaking his head briskly. "The least they could've done was offer another position while we left the country."
"When are you guys leaving anyway?'"
He looks up at the ceiling, trying hard to remember the exact date before clapping his hands. "The 3rd of next month."
"Three weeks from now? Are you ready for the cold and the snow?" you laugh as he shakes his head.
"Dealt with it growing up, don't wanna do it again," he groans before a barista calls out his name for his coffee. He excuses himself for a minute, grabbing the coffee along with a few napkins before walking back to you. "Have to get back to filming, they only gave me a half an hour break before we change scenes. Good look in university, kiddo. If you ever need anything you always have my number."
With that, he retreated back outside but not before sending you one final wave. You loathed the fact you missed them, but you had to get over it.
Grabbing your coffee once your name was called, you walked back up the stairs to find your friends staring at their own laptops as if they were going to breakdown in tears any second.
"When I tell you I would rather give up one of kidneys than learn about screenwriting," Jules weeps, pulling her hair in distress. "I just wanna tell people what to do, not write stories."
And that's how your whole study session went, one of you having your own malfunctions for the next few hours before the five of you agreed to end it.
"I am going to get a refill, meet you by the door?" Jules asked as you packed up your school belongings. You nodded, allowing her to walk downstairs with her friend as you stayed behind with the two other boys.
"I need to go to the bathroom," Joon called out as the three of you were making your way down the stairs. "I'll be out in a jiffy."
With that, Yoongi and you were stuck around a large crowd of customers trying to get their coffees in this 5 o'clock chilly evening. And one thing about these customers, they loved to push.
"If one more person hits my arm a brawl will unfold," Yoongi proclaims, making sure to raise his voice a bit to make his point come across. Which did nothing as he was granted another push in his arm in return.
Moving you head towards the exit, you made it clear to Yoongi that you two were better off just waiting outside unless you wanted to continue being compressed by total strangers whose been god knows where.
Feeling Yoongi's loss of touch from your shoulder, you sensed a group of friends rudely crossing between you both in order to make it to the front of the shop.
It amazed you how people had no manners in public places.
"Ah!" you shriek, feeling somebody aimlessly hit your body hard, knocking the wind out of you as you fell on your side.
That was until arms wrapped tightly under your upper arms, barely being able to stop your whole body from touching the ground as you felt you legs lay across the cold floor.
With the strong pair of arms effectively pulling you up, it caused you to slam your body against their unknown chest as the mob of customers didn't seem to die down any time soon.
Trying to find some stability, your eyes widened as your peripheral vision was met with a broad chest that you were too scared to figure discover who it belonged to.
This could either end with you meeting the love of you life or encountering a complete weirdo.
Moving your gaze upwards, you were met with familiar brown eyes that creased slightly as a gentle smile was released.
Okay, the second option was indeed your answer.
"Pedro? You fucking scared me!" you pushed him away, slapping his chest as he whined in response, clutching it in pain. "I was going to grab my pepper spray!"
"I see you're still satan," he glared as you crossed your arms. "No 'thank you for saving my severely mentally mad life from the mass of people who could've stamped over me'?"
Expressing an infuriated expression as he scared you, you begin to walk away from him but he quickly pulls you back into his arms and stares down at you. "Why are you leaving?"
"My friends are outside," you declare as he peers over the crowd to see who you were talking about.
He glances back down at you before pushing you straight by your waist, causing you to trust his guidance as he directed you backwards until you were against one of the walls to avoid being crushed again.
"Wait, my friends-"
"You wear glasses?" he slightly grasps the frames propped on your face, generating a strike from you. "What a dweeb you are."
"Isn't this a question you can ask through text?" you remark, causing him to purse his lips at how mediocre you were being.
"Oh come on, kid! I haven't seen you in weeks, it's my right to ask questions," he defends, giving you a staggering look as you sighed.
"And my glasses were the first thing that came to mind? Very clever."
"Would you rather me ask why we say 'cool' when it's not really cold?"
Studying his face in pure boredom, you set out to march past him but he pushes your shoulders back again, forcing you to stay put. "Sorry! Just trying to lighten the mood."
Scanning past him, you tried to locate your friends but to no luck they were absent. Glancing back up at him, you take a deep breath. "I really have to go before they leave me stranded a-."
"I can take you home," he instantly speaks up. "I know where you live remember."
Laughing, you disagree with his proposal. You arrived with Jules, you were leaving with her. But you were curious as to why he hasn't left you alone. It surely couldn't be just to chat about corny jokes-
Actually, you've had many of those conversions in the past.
"Is there a reason why you aren't letting me escape?" you blurt out, making him tilt his head suspiciously, trying to figure out what you were speculating.
His body language became edgy as he motioned his palm out in front of you. "I just so happened to drop by for some coffee and ended up being tackled by you," he confessed, making you scoff. "We haven't talked for some time, I wanted to check up and see how you were doing."
"I am as happy as a clam," you let out a radiant smile, making him squint his eyes and direct them to the side.
"English, please?" he pleaded.
"It means I am very happy," you respond, standing up straighter as he questioned you longer with his eyes as if he didn't believe a single word you were saying. "Everybody knows that expression."
"They really don't," he denies, giving you an awkward smile by your strange dialogue. "Anywho, I've been wanting to talk to you."
"Then why didn't you call?" you accidentally spit out, shutting your mouth as you grasped how bitter it came out.
He caught onto the sound of your tone, registering how unhappy you must've been for abandoning you friendship after strongly bonding for two months.
But he couldn't let you believe he did it on purpose, he had a reason. One that he was finally going to disclose after fighting battles until it was finally approved. "I was preoccupied with something else, I really am sorry," he apologized. "But I was going to reach out today."
Uncomfortably shrugging, you don't put too much thought into it. You didn't want him to assume you were upset, but you had a feeling he could sense it by how tense you were becoming.
"For what?"
He looked around before averting his eyes back to your own, grinning widely. "So I think there's a chance you'd be able to get your internship back."
Standing up straighter, you stared at him dumbfounded. What the hell was he talking about?
"How? They already terminated our useless contracts," you argue. "Why hassle making another one."
"Work for me," he ignores your sour tone, getting straight to the point.
This was why he didn't have time to communicate. Too busy trying to find ways to convince his own boss to keep you, it led to him being in a bad mood after failing each attempt.
He couldn't talk to you knowing his plan went wrong.
After the constant begging, whines, and even going out of his way to format a ridiculous petition as to why you should stay, which centers all interns because he didn't want to throw himself under the bus for you- the main producer eventually gave in.
"You want me to work for you here when you're leaving the country in a few weeks?" you narrow your eyes, confused as to how that was going to work out in the end.
"I was going to sneak you into my suitcase."
"What in the world are you rambling about?" you exhaled sharply.
Pedro grinned brightly as he held onto your shoulders again, "Come with us to Canada."
"No," you quickly answer, not even processing fully but you knew it could never happen.
There was no possible way you could ever go through with this. For one, you can't even leave the country. You parents were so strict they'll probably smuggle drugs in your luggage so you'll be gunned down and locked into the country.
Second, well there really isn't another reason- your parents were enough.
"Oh come on," he whined. "It'll be great! You'll gain so much experience like you've been wanting. Plus, you'd do more hands-on work with the film crew. Think of it as a student exchange program."
"That's literally not what a student exchange program is."
"Stop rejecting the idea. You go to school here, yeah? I assume you're taking classes online because you basically lived at the studio," he implied and you slowly nodded. "We can adjust your schedule to where you'd have time to work and focus on school."
Silently looking to the table nearby, you began digesting what he was going on about. It wasn't a bad idea, but it wasn't an easy one either. "My parents would never let me."
"Give me their number and I'll convince them," he persuades and you sway you head. You wanted to laugh in his face if he really believed he could make your parents agree.
"No," you fight back, watching him exhale loudly by how restrained you were being. "I k-"
"What would Matt Healy do?"
Immediately shutting your mouth, you freeze as he catches you off guard. He did not come to play and knew you well enough to use your weaknesses against you.
He knows Matt Healy would easily agree- that man was literally the devil's spawn.
And god, you just knew Matt would be disappointed in you if you didn't go.
Curse you and your infatuation over this short English man.
Luckily, your thoughts disappeared as you felt a tap on your arm. Looking up, you see Yoongi breathing heavily as Pedro eyes him, unsure if you knew him.
"There you are, I've been looking for you everywhere! My god the lecture your friend gave me about losing you-" he groaned, shivering. "-I was certain she was gonna file a police report."
Slowly averting his eyes to the older man beside you, Yoongi's face fills with curiosity. "Hey, aren't you that one guy from that Netflix show..." he stops, looking up as he tried hard remembering the name. "Narcos!"
Pedro's eyes shoot open as he tries to innocently stretch his body, purposely blocking your view of him, "No." Secretly waving his palm across his neck, he sends Yoongi daggers to keep quiet. Stiffly turning to you, he becomes flustered. "But don't watch that show."
Raising a brow, you decide to drop the random topic and focus your attention back to your friend until you heard another person shriek. The three of you searching to where it came from, you find Namjoon stumble between people, trying his hardest not to fall face first on the floor.
"A jiffy later and I'm back," Joon winks once he's released from the mass.
Pedro scrunches his face. "Jiffy?"
Joon breaks out into smiles once he notices who was with Yoongi and you. "Oh my gosh! What are you doing here? Did you miss us that much?"
"I don't think it was you he missed," Yoongi muttered, making Pedro send him a questionable glance and Joon tilt his head, not sure what he meant.
Wanting to leave this now weirder conversation, you step forward and grab onto Yoongi's shoulder. "Let's go, I wanna breathe." Turning your attention back to Pedro, he swiftly moved his eyes from your hand to your own. "Text me if you need anything else."
"Only you," he sends you a cheeky smile making you blush by how nice he was being. Yoongi glanced at the two of you, dazed as what you two were implying.
Staring at him, you waited for him to say his farewells first so everybody could leave already. Waiting for one, you never received anything but his quiet stance and gaze stuck on you.
It felt strange not feeling the strength to walk away- not even the strength but the need to go anymore as you couldn't take your eyes off him. It also wasn't only you as he couldn't help but bear comfort from the sight of you.
It felt like the both of you were interacting to each other in your minds.
"Are you having a staring contest?" Joon questioned, making your your consciousness come back to life as you looked back at him. Pedro's gaze weakened, but they were still on you as yours was unfortunately long forgotten.
"No," you laughed, now gripping onto Yoongi harder. "But seriously, let's get out of here. See you whenever, Pedro."
Watching as you stayed close to your guy friends in hopes of being secured through the populated room, he sighed to himself. He was sure your friends might confess their own intuitions to you and perceive him as a creep.
The sad part was he knew why your particular friend would have his suspicions. He never knew his age would have that much of an effect, but he never hung out with people that young before unless it was for a project.
Shaking these thoughts away from his head, he chuckled to himself. He shouldn't care about what other people thought, the two of you never engaged in anything but friendly encounters.
He just despised his gut feeling as if he was doing something wrong. People are making him feel this way, that was guaranteed.
But he feels awful how he keeps trying to find ways to see you, too embarrassed to think about the things he done just to see you for not even a minute.
He's just never had a friend like you before. It was nice.
"I can't believe he's offering us a job like that!" Jules exclaimed as Joon and you nodded. Yoongi lived in the opposite direction so he made his departure a few minutes ago as well as her friend. "I can't go."
Widening your eyes, you stared at her. "What? Why?"
She laughs before pointing at herself. "You think I'll be able to properly manage school and work in another country? I barely did that these last two months- I'll just be partying it up at hockey games eating gravy with fries."
"You mean poutine," Joon corrected.
"Same thing," she rolled her eyes. "All I'm saying is, being home made me realize how much I love sleeping. I would rather give that up when I graduate and actually have a real adult job."
She did have a point, she really enjoyed her naps.
"I'll consider it," Joon spoke up, putting his hands inside his hoodie as the three of you continued walking. "Doesn't sound too bad, it'll look good on resumes."
Smiling, you nodded. You weren't sure why you even dared to be happy about this when you were the one wanting nothing to do with the idea not even a half an hour ago.
You just knew your lord was giving you a disapproving glare from the clouds.
Within the next 20 minutes, Joon went his separate way home as Jules and you arrived in front of your shared apartment. Rushing to the bathroom, your roommate excused herself for the next hour for her 'needed' relaxation.
In other words, a bubble bath.
Turning on the tv, you sat down on the couch swiping through boring news channels until you decided to switch to Netflix. You still had to make time for Evan Peters before the night ended.
Clicking on the current season you were on, Freak Show, you began thinking about how massive Evan Peter's hands were. How can his girlfriends survive.
The thought freaked you out, this really was a freak show.
Soon, the next episode began featuring Twisty the clown more and you were terrified by how huge he was. He could crush you with a flick of his fingers.
Knocks on your door alarmed you, making you slightly jump and look towards the bathroom. Your roommate's music was softly playing in the background meaning she probably couldn't hear the blows on the door.
Slowly standing up, you grab the bat you keep near the door, in case someone tries viciously murdering you in your doorway, and go on your tiptoes to see what kind of stranger needed to pay a visit in the middle of the night.
Well, it wasn't even 7 o'clock in the evening yet but you get the point.
Gasping at the sight presented through your little peep hole, you promptly unlock the handles before extending the large door wide. "And why exactly are you here? Miss me that much?" you tease.
Not receiving an answer, you scoff. "Are you really giving me the silent treatment? You're hurting my feelings."
When he didn't react to that either, you felt your face drop. Slowly striding towards him, you notice his head was low as he stared at his shoes. Placing your right palm softly on his left shoulder, you felt him glance up.
Did something happen during your short time apart? Was he in trouble?
Knowing it was really you in front of him, Pedro lunged his body onto yours before you could stop and think about what was happening. Colliding his lips upon yours, you felt your thoughts drift away as he steadily moved forward and made his way inside your warm apartment.
Stopping to swiftly shut the door, you had no time to take in a full breathe before his mouth found yours again. Clutching the back of his head, probably pulling his hair out, you groan as his nails claw your exposed waist, your shirt slowly inching up more and more as the seconds went up. Slipping his tongue inside you, you felt the way his nose hit yours as dominance took over.
He wanted to control all of you.
It wasn't until your legs began wobbling from the long standing when his hands lost your waist, instantly making contact with the back of your thighs, squeezing them, soon allowing them to suffocate his sides. Following his lead, you pull your lips back before diving them to the corner of his jaw as he groaned, walking to god knows where.
You figured out where once you shrieked as your back made contact with your couch, his palms widening your legs in a hurry before situating himself on top of you. Surprisingly, the difference of weight wasn't an issue as he clinged harder against you, moving his hand behind your neck to pull it down, making sure to make you feel the pain of the slight hair tugging.
"What are y-" you softly choke, voice coming out in whimpers as he ignored you. Latching his lips to the top of your chin, he stuck his tongue out, dragging it gradually down your neck as your back arched, needing to feel closer to him if that was even possible. Your wish was his command as he hastily pressed himself against you, making you groan in surprise.
Making his way lower, he passes your neck down to your chest while his hands found their to your collarbone, smoothly rubbing the area up and down before clutching onto it harshly as he continue down his path. Something about the way his soft fingertips applying pressure near your neck as his lips kept kissing the rest of your body had you in wonders. You couldn't believe this was happening.
It wasn't until you felt his mouth near your exposed waist that made you completely lose it. You had long forgotten that Jules was in the room next door when you gasped, feeling his teeth swipe against your skin. "Shhh," he whispered against your lips as a way to silence you. "Don't want to let your friend know I'm here now, do we?"
You could only stammer shaky sounds as he planted a few more deep kisses, slowly pulling away and feeling the wetness of both your mouths descend down. He gave you one last dark gaze before returning his mouth on yours, loving the feeling of the dampness between your faces.
His mouth opening wider, he began intensively tasting you, swiping his tongue around your lips as you tried to keep up with his eagerness. Not giving you much time to catch his pace, you could feel how wet he was making you.
No, he was literally drowning your face.
Pulling back, you squint your eyes and take a few seconds to adjust to the poor lighting in your living room. You were met with dark, green eyes.
Lady Gaga.
Shrieking, you grab the black, green-eyed demon on top of you and throw her off, causing her to let out a loud hiss with the immediate sounds of footsteps following afterwards.
"Lady Gaga!" you hear Jules squeal in her pink robe, wrapping the nauseating cat in her arms before turning to you, giving you a look of rage. "Did you throw her?!"
"She licked me!"
Jules scoffed harshly before hurling a nearby pillow at you, allowing it to hit your face in full force before stomping back to her door and violently slamming it shut.
You fucking hated that cat.
Laying back against the couch, you rubbed your red face in humiliation. Not only did you have an intense dream about Pedro but you're pretty sure you just had a full on make-out session with a cat.
Groaning, you couldn't believe what was happening to you. Why would you dream about him-
No- why would you have one doing not so child friendly activities?!
You just know you'll never be able to face him with a straight face, too embarrassed to even be near him now without thinking about this moment.
It wasn't even like you thought about him in that way- you didn't.
Maybe your time of the month was approaching or you were in desperate need of a date because there's no way any normal human being would fantasize over some older man that way.
Okay, maybe it was possible.
But that was definitely not you...even though you just did. Although, you did see the comparison between him and Lady Gaga.
They looked kind of alike- right? Same whiskers.
One thing that was certain was you were never going to tell anybody about this. If people believed for one second you had feelings for him, which you don't, you'll never hear the end of it.
He was not your type nor close to your age. It would never happen.
Sighing, you close your eyes and silently send out a prayer to not engage in another session with the demonic cat. Maybe sleep will make you think clearly once awoken and abolish all these wild concepts floating through your head.
But once you were actually awoken, your mind still wasn't clear- or maybe it was because the pounding on your door ultimately pulled you from your slumber.
Stretching your arms, you scratch the top of your head as you try to open your eyes but it was no use, you were way too tired to fully engage with anybody right now.
Completely avoiding looking through the peep hole, which was a red flag on your part, you swing the door open to find a man who looked like Pedro standing on the other side of it.
Groaning aloud, you slap yourself as he takes this by surprised, not sure why you just did that.
How are you having another dream about him? Was this the bad luck needed after scoring tickets to your favorite band? Is this some kind of sick revenge someone has against you?
Pointing at Lady Gaga, who was dressed up as Pedro, you rudely spit out the words needed to be said. "You are just a cat. Nothing happened between us."
With that, you step back inside, ignoring Lady Gaga's attempts of trying to gain your attention by waving their arms in front of you. Making your way to your room, you see Jules walk out of hers.
"Who was that at the door?" she questions, hearing another round of knocks appear.
You tiredly wave your hand in nonsense, denying that thought. "It was Lady Gaga, go back to bed."
Jules sends you a bewildered look as you enter your bedroom and face-plant on your cozy bed, allowing sleep to reel you back in. Turning her head, she looks at Lady Gaga who was sitting casually by her bedroom door.
"She is turning fucking nuts," she whispers to herself before swiftly opening the door to reveal a very confused Pedro. "What's up?"
Pedro's concerned face takes over his actions as he jumps to his eager questions. "Is y/n okay? She thought I was a cat."
Jules shrugs, rubbing her eyes with her palm. "Who knows, I think she's getting over her coffee hangover."
Pedro carefully nods, still skeptical as to what happened to you. What did you mean nothing happened between you two? Did something happen that he wasn't aware of?
Were you hiding something from him?
Gracelessly gesturing his leave, Pedro walked quickly down the hall as Jules stood there for a moment too tired to comprehend why he paid the apartment a visit this early in the morning. The sun was barely out, why did he come?
After shutting the door and taking a seat on the couch, she laid back and stared at the ceiling. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but for some reason a strange intellect emerged out of nowhere.
She shrugged it off, instantaneously knocking out, too exhausted to conquer her suspicions.
+
taglist: @thesapphirequeen @floralsightings @wrathofcats
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b1mbodoll · 7 months
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i am so taerae fat cock enthusiast and i cant stop thinking about taerae stretching you around his cock when youre sleeping beside him 😵‍💫 you already said he wouldn't fit bcs hes so big so you didnt let him fuck you but youre so cute n innocent he cant help pulling your panties to the side and making it fit </3 he would quite literally split you in half fucking you so so good (๑>◡<๑) he would be so deep inside you too! all u can do is lay there and cry! but dont worry he'll press sweet sweet kisses on your face when he's finished emptying his cum in you <3 hopefully you dont get pregnant! youre not on the pill ♡♡♡♡♡
from 🎀 anonie!
also how have you been? i hope todays been treating you well! i caught covid so TT i dont know how active ill be but take care of yourself and be hydrated baby! 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽
pairings: kim taerae x f! reader
warnings: virgin killer taerae + noncon + blood + anal + gaping + creampies + spit
💌: hi sweetpea im so sorry for the late reply again T_T but thank u for this, im crying !! also i know ur feelin’ better n not sick anymore so stay safe and healthy my love !!! i miss u </3
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“fuck this pussy’s so tight,” taerae whispers, trying to bully his thick length into your cunt.
it’s always a struggle working his dick into virgin holes but it’s so worth it when he succeeds, pushing through your hymen and watching the blood leak down his girthy dick. the feeling of your tight walls without a condom in the way making taerae fuck into you harshly, forcing the rest of his length inside of you.
“taerae s-stop!” your voice is strained, pain coursing through you at the intrusion. “’s too big! pull it out please!” your cries do nothing but spur him on, grinding his hips experimentally.
“don’t worry, princess. i’ll make it fit” he grunts, tangling his fingers in your hair and forcing your cheek into the bed as he fucks away your virginity, slick sounds caused by a mixture of your arousal and blood filling the room.
“hurts! it hurts,” you cry, “please stop.” despite your complaints you clench around him so tight and it’s almost like your sweet cunt doesn’t wanna part with his cock, making him grin wickedly.
“you keep sayin’ it hurts but you’re so wet, baby” he teases, pulling out until just the tip is inside of you before thrusting forward quickly, making your breath hitch. “you like the pain, don’t you?” taerae’s so fucking mean it makes you sob pitifully, almost making him ease up.
once you get used to the feeling of his cock punching your cervix you can’t help but moan at the feeling and your sounds don’t go unnoticed by him, his eyes locked on your cunt sucking him in nicely.
“‘m gonna cum!” you exclaim, squeezing your eyes shut because the pleasure is so overwhelming and you can’t stop yourself from meeting his thrusts, high pitched mewls escaping you every now and then.
one of taerae’s hands finds your waist, fingers digging into your soft skin as he chases his release, slamming his hips into yours.
“please, please, please.” you beg, pussy spasming around him when your orgasm hits, tight cunt milking him for all he’s worth, warm cum coating your walls as he empties his balls deep inside your little cunt.
“you’re sick for cumming on my cock after all that cryin’” he sneers, pulling out and using his hands to spread your hole, watching his cum drip out of you. he’s obsessed with how you shamelessy present for him, back arching as he toys with your hole, drawing a sigh of relief from you when he uses two digits to fuck his cum back inside of you.
“aw sweetheart.” coos taerae, “you didn’t think we were done, did you?” his voice is laced with faux sympathy as you try to collect yourself. your brows furrow in confusion at his words, “huh?”
he curls his fingers inside your cunt, cum leaking down his wrist. “finally get the chance t’fuck you ‘n you think ‘m stoppin’ after one round?” his laugh makes you feel dumb, as if you were supposed to know he was going to continue violating your holes.
taerae fists his length with his cum covered hand, the tip prodding at the tight rim of your ass making you jolt. “please don’t!” you shudder, “anything but that, please.” he pushes the head in, groaning deeply because you’re so tight and spits on your hole, watching the saliva trickle between your asscheeks.
“shut the fuck up and take it.” his teeth are clenched, trying not to cum instantly when he pushes in to the hilt. “such a good cumdump f’r me, can’t believe you’ve never been fucked before.” the stretch burns and all you can do is take what he gives you, nearly screaming as you cum just from having your virgin ass fucked by his fat cock.
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drdemonprince · 2 months
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It’s “urks me” anon. I agree with your reply very much. I know I sent the ask but you did not have to reply as in depth as you did and it genuinely made me feel a lot more comfortable with the space you are creating. I kinda wish you had explained yourself that well in the beginning but hey I of all people know online communication is difficult and this is an evolving convo. Also I’m going to be real your followers have been being a lot more annoying than you ever could be and it was affecting my mood when talking to you. It’s less that healthy people talking about risk management inherently annoys me and more that they are constantly slipping in microaggressions and minor misinfo when they talk about it. Even if the choices they are making are (sometimes…) reasonable it is so obvious that they were not listening to the important technical details vulnerable people were speaking and only heard “blah blah blah scary stuff and restrictions blah blah blah” like…!? I think overshaming is one piece of the puzzle. But I think a lot of people, including many so called allies and covid-aware people, simply don’t listen to us very carefully regardless of how diplomatic we’re being. Maybe they think they already know the technical details even though they clearly don’t? Idk it’s very irritating.
Thanks for your message. This is another place where I get very enraged at our public institutions for failing us so catastrophically! We have all been so systematically misled about COVID, and the actual infection numbers and other ever-evolving data on how it's currently spreading is actively covered up, and not made accessible by journalistic institutions, so on that level I do not hold individiduals reponsible for not understanding things.
Chronically ill, disabled, and otherwise COVID-conscious people have been forced to become the public health information apparatus and have done incredible amounts of thankless work geneating the data, reporting on it, monitoring wastewater levels, delving deeply into the latest research, creating infographics, and trying to spread the word to the public about it, but they have no assistance in it, and no platform beyond what they can build online. and those online communities tend to become siloed because of how social media algorithms work, and so people who have been spreading the facts relentlessly every single day routinely bump up against people who do not see those same posts hardly ever because they are in different pockets of the internet. Which comes down both to their choices and priorities, and due to algortihmic echo-chambers, and economic and political incentive structures silencing the work that COVID-conscious folks do.
And yes, also, people very much do shut down and turn away when confronted with scary information... that's a very well-established fact within public health and persuasion science that has remained a real barrier to public awareness campaigns for a long time. People do not process information about death and threat well at all. So much so that many public health intitatives of the past had to limit talk of death and scary outcomes if they want people to things like get a cancer screening or contemplate quitting smoking. the cigarette companies themselves funded "anti smoking" campaigns that were awash in images of death and bodily decay because they knew those kinds of messages shut people down and actually make them less likely to quit. (i write a lot about this stuff in my new book).
This is where conversations about tactics do become relevant again -- mentioning death or the direness of long COVID isn't "shaming", it's not moral sanctimoniousness, it's not "wrong" to do, it is accurate! but it doesn't usually work persuasively. and I do think there is more we could do to frame masking and taking covid mitigation measures as a thing for a person to take pride in, feel empowered by, and feel connected to others by doing, which generally is what we find to be more effective in public health research.
to return to the cancer comparison, we tend to find that "think of how much peace of mind you'll feel after your cancer screening! take a positive step for your health!" is a more effective framing that actually inspires behavioral change than "if you don't find out that you have pancreatic cancer in time you will most likely die. here are the stats on how many people die of it." That kind of messaging tends to make people less likely to take proactive steps. even though it's all rooted in actual facts.
I have seen some propaganda (postive connotation) evoking a kind of positive, empowering idea regarding masking at protests, but I'd love to see more of it. Sounding the alarm repeatedly does not work for a variety of psychological reasons. people get both numb to it if they've heard something is a "pressing serious life and death emergency" for long enough, and paradoxically, they also overwhelmed by the bleakness. we see a similar thing happening with climate change. these situations ARE dire and people SHOULD care, but in order to make caring feel concrete and possible, behaviorally, we have to frame information in an empowering way.
of course, there are COVID conscious people who do do that and devote lots of energy to crafting such persuasive messages! and still have to cope with being silenced, downgraded by the algorithm, ignored, attacked by anti-maskers, etc. and lots of people understandably feel that they have tried everything and that people still don't care. from where they are sitting as one person that's the emotional reality and that's often the lived intepersonal experience. but that appearance of other people not caring was engineered...and lord i hope we can find a way to socially engineer a collective way out of it, because what we are doing isn't working well enough. unfortunately the thing we need the most desperately is just more people spreading the message and giving a shit.
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almightyrayzilla · 6 months
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I promise you, this is the only time I will ever willingly post AI generated imagery on any of my pages...but G-Fest is DEAD to me. I first attended in 2006, then again in 2009. I got my start doing artist alley tables at this show in 2010, then branched out to other shows. I even did the promo art for the 2019 show. I cannot tell you how much of my life was shaped from meeting the folks I have met because of this convention.
I'm not even mad. I'm sitting here along with my fellow artists, laughing our asses off. Not because it's funny, but because NONE of us are deeply surprised.
Let's go back a bit.
In 2018, the artist alley (AA) was moved to the lower floor of the hotel. Now I let this slide - the Crowne Plaza had just replaced the area that was used previously with the Caddyshack restaurant. Duh, we couldn't use that area anymore. There was some pushback, that maybe something else could be moved downstairs, but there was refusal to budge. Whatever, us artists actually did pretty good that year, despite a rather sequestered and tight space.
Then for 2019 - we were told a Toho rep was coming, and we were hit with a 30% limitation, which essentially meant that for every ten pieces of art we had, only three of them were allowed to be Toho related. Gamera, Ultraman, Kamen Rider - fair game. I mean, let's put aside that no one could enforce that (and no one tried) - the person in question wasn't even tied to Toho. And even if they were...they'd be more concerned about, say, bootleg DVDs and such.
Personally speaking, my sales were even better, so even with the limitation, people still did alright. Gee, it's almost as if AA is a big attraction at a convention, especially one as niche as this.
Then 2020, when our good friend COVID-19 came about. Someone decided it'd be a good idea to spread misinformation about the pandemic with G-Fest's Twitter page. Among those who spoke up were the artists who regularly attended through its artist alley. A Facebook page that was specifically set up for AA members to share info and whatnot was then told to no longer associate with G-Fest.
And for the record, G-Fest didn't happen that year because of a statewide mandate. No no, the con wasn't canceled it because they recognized the severity of things, it's because Illinois shut everything down.
Well, here comes prep for 2021 (which ultimately became the 2022 show, since it was pushed back again). That's when G-Fest hit us with the AA contract. It forbade artists from selling prints of Toho fan art (originals/commissions were okay, but not reproductions), unless we held a license to sell prints of that work. We could not sell Godzilla fan art prints at this Godzilla convention. We tried to speak with them, to see if there could be some compromise...which there wasn't. They kept saying that the reason for it was to stay on good terms with Toho, even citing a big C&D sweep Toho was doing (they were after bootleggers, not fan artists). Heck, even one of my good friends actually did get a C&D (prior to said sweep), and they have legal word that they were allowed to sell prints of Godzilla art. But apparently, that wasn't good enough for G-Fest. HMMMMM...
I was actually willing to abide by these tighter rules, even planning on trolling them with a few pieces of Jirahs and Gomess (though Jirahs without the frill might have been a bit too risky, lol). We were trying to talk with the head of the vendor room, who was not exactly being clear and timely with responses. Well, someone went to the head of the show to ask if they were being compliant with the rules - I guess they gave a different answer, because that's when the showrunners started bickering about not seeing eye-to-eye on some things, ultimately telling the artist it's best they not come.
That's when I backed out. A few of us had paid for our table/badge for the 2020 show, which was rolled over; with the option available, I asked for the refund. The head of the vendor room said the request was put in. Almost two weeks go by. I go to the showrunner, and within 20 minutes, I get the refund. Look, I know G-Fest isn't a big corporate show, and I try not to be a snob, but I expect SOME professionalism. that's why I've backed out and refuse to ever attend G-Fest ever again. But that's not where things stopped.
During the 2022 show, I was told an artist said screw it and put Godzilla prints out on their table to sell. I laughed and said, "Yeah, and how much of that was playing favorites?" I mean, G-Fest kicking this person out? That would be glorious. But someone like me? I'm pretty sure they'd have banned me on the spot. And I'm not even going to get into the vendor who was selling bootleg DVDs, so...yeah. And from what I hear, the 2023 show forbade ALL fan art prints, not just Toho IPs. I can't imagine how hard they're gritting their teeth trying not tell artists to get lost outright.
*deep breath* And that brings us to today's nonsense. After all that, they pull this. And of course they've turned off comments on the Facebook posts for these...pictures. I mean, after my turn in 2019, we had the idea of giving each AA artist a shot to do the promo art each year before all this crap reared its ugly head.
Like I said, I'm not even mad, I'm actually having a good laugh over all this. If I'm shocked by anything, it's how quickly this convention pulled its 180. The point of this post is to just be informative of what has been going on the past couple years, and why the artists who usually go haven't come back.
But most of all, if/when people ask if I'm going to G-Fest next year, here's the TL;DR version: NO.
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fangirltothefullest · 9 months
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Saw your post about the fandom, and wanted to stop by and say hi! It actually was nice to see that pop up on my dash, cause a lot of people are getting really negative about the waits, and I've seen it get kinda nasty. So seeing you be so genuine about enjoying it is really nice to see. I'm always open to talk about Sanders Sides, though, it's still one of my favorite things even after all this time.
ME TOO! I love it so much and I think... well as a Content Creator myself, I know how hard these past few years have been for me and I am not surprised at all that it's been hard for him and his team so I can be impatient and want more content but also... I can't be mad. A little peak into my brain coming and I apologize if that wasn't what you were looking for but-
I had to close commissions and my own patreon because I had to get a job that could actually support me, and had a TON of personal stuff happened to me and my family IRL that affected a lot of my online presence.
As a consequence I don't post art NEARLY as much as I used to and I found myself feeling EXTREMELY upset about it. I used to even livestream art, can you believe it? 8U
And I sat there worrying I'd never post art again because of the burnout and stress..... and I thought everyone who liked my stuff may leave. Because that's happened before- I was a product, a machine to pump out free stuff for people to enjoy, and when the product stopped coming, people just left. That's SO hard to face as a creator, ESPECIALLY when you are trying to GENUINELY provide your art and works pretty much for free and you're already going through traumatic stuff IRL behind the screen.
To see people getting SO angry with the content that HAS been provided hurts me more than the wait and it's not because I put the man on a pedestal it's because I humanized him. I had a shit few years and so did he. Would it have been nice for him to be like 'hey I need to go on a break for a while I'm sorry', hell yeah but I didn't either. I posted every so often about Going Through It and kicking myself privately because I could barely sketch on paper, much less muster the courage to do a digital piece, but I didn't tell people wehat I was going through until later and even then a lot of my life is private and I haven't disclosed stuff because... it's personal, it's private. Online space isn't supposed to be privy to all my secrets and stuff you know?
So when I see people nitpicking the plushie episode because it's also doubled as an ad for the toys, I want to growl and bite and hiss because it's STILL an episode with an actual PLOT; it's not like the crofters ads. FWSA, the cartoon one, is a 24 minute ASIDES video and was LITERALLY given to us during Covid when EVERYTHING ELSE was shut down. Have I Grown is an hilarious video that also somewhat recaps but less episode recap and more personal sides recaps- seeing how their current mental state is. The Wes Anderson one is literally a Season Recap episode. We got a fucking Janus Cover of an OtGW song and they're all in their casual clothes and that song is about pretending everything is ok just for a littler while and it's STILL technically plot related. WTIT is a fucking ASIDES video that's 28 minutes long AND HAS PLOT! AND THE CANON CONFIRMATION OF THE SUSPECTED ORANGE SIDE!!! Incorrect Quotes was a way for us to see them being silly and lighthearted and so is The Sides Need A Nice Day!
I just- that's a lot more content than I think people realize. Yes he has a full team but that doesn't stop the stress or the burnout, especially when half your fanbase is saying how terrible you're being not being faster.
Not to mention the bloopers and the Gavin Sides and the entire episodes of Roleslaying AND a cartoon therapy have all come out AND he was part of a few song collabs too.
I just.... I can't imagine going through the stresses I went through and how much it would hurt me to provide that much stuff and still have people angry. Do you know how much I've done since Covid? Not nearly as much in terms of BIG PROJECTS.
Sorry if this came off as a rant, I'm just so passionate about this show that I love to much! >//<
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jawritter · 1 year
Text
Something About Fate...
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Chapter 1
Summary:  Y/N has been homeless and living on the streets of Dallas, Texas since the start of Covid. Until one day, a handsome, green eyes strange notices her and turns her whole world upside down.
Warning: Homelessness, fear of sex trafficking, brief mention of past relationship. Brief mention of almost assualt.
Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader (eventually). 
Word Count: 2700
A/N: This series is completely unbeta’d, so all mistakes are mine! This series will contain mature content eventually, and therefore is unsuitable for persons under 18 years of age! Anyone under the age of 18 will be blocked for my blog! Thanks so much for reading! I hope you all enjoy this series!
Main Masterlist                  Series Masterlist 
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Y/N shivered as she pulled the thin jacket she was wearing closer to her small, underweight body. She watched in silence as the people on the street passed by her from her spot in front of the streetlamp where she sat cross legged, with her paper cup in front of her. Some would glance at her, sometimes in disgust with judgment plastered all over their faces. Some would even go as far as to actively take a step away from her to put some distance between them. Other, more kind people, would drop a few coins into her cup, most of the time with barely a glance at her. 
If she was lucky, she might even have enough money to get a sandwich from the little shop she sat just across from tonight; at least, that was the goal. Then she would wander down to the park and break into the splash pad bathroom to shower in what was surely going to be a painfully cold shower, but even though she was homeless, and currently begging to eat every day, she was going to at least be clean as she could manage anyway. 
She only owned a backpack full of belongings, some of which contained two changes of clothing, and on Tuesdays, she’d sacrifice eating her one meal a day to go to the laundromat and do her washing. Today was Monday, so if she didn’t want to not be able to eat for the next two days as opposed to one, tonight would have to be the night that she collected enough to get her a sub that she might be able to stretch for a few days. Which meant she had to hope and pray she could gather up enough coins to go and get something before they closed at 8 pm, it was already 6, and she was running out of time. During the winter months though, it was harder because there was already less traffic on the streets than normal, and right after the holidays, people were exceptionally tight with their money, and therefore, she missed a lot more days of eating than she cared to admit. 
This wasn’t always life for Y/N. At one time, she had a job, she had an apartment of her own, she’d even planned to go to college to become a nurse. Then, covid struck, and the man she thought loved her left her for another, prettier woman, or at least that’s what the dick had told her. She lost her roommate at that point, and then covid came, and she lost her job too. The world shut down around her. No one was hiring, no one was open. She fell into a downward spiral she couldn’t come up from, and now, here she was, living on the streets, begging money from people to eat more than once a week if she was lucky. 
It wasn’t that she wasn’t hirable, it was more the fact that when you fill out a job application and have no place to put down as a permanent address, it’s a red flag for businesses. They immediately don’t want to hire you, no matter how great your credentials are. 
She wasn’t addicted to drugs or alcohol the way some where that lived on the same streets she did, and she quickly learned that a halfway house for women wasn’t safe when she was almost assaulted twice, once by another homeless person, then again by someone that worked for them at the shelter. But of course, who was going to believe her? 
No one, the answer was no one. 
She’d learned a long time ago that it did no good to cry, even though tonight it was hard not to do. Crying didn’t change things. 
A crack of thunder sounded overhead, and she sighed heavily as she heaved herself upward, and made the decision to move over to the side of the building where the overhang would protect her from the impending rain at least a little. She knew this was a dangerous move, because if some customers complained about her presents, the owner may would come out and make her move, but she had to try, this was the last night she’d be able to eat for a few days, and she was starving. 
Lucky for her, no one seemed to notice her sitting there that cared enough to turn her in, at least, they didn’t seem to, and she did get a few more people drop a few dimes into her cup. She almost had enough, she just needed one dollar’s worth of change, and she’d be able to eat, and then go and take her frigid shower before trying to find somewhere to sleep for the night. Somewhere dry preferably; maybe under the overpass off of I-10 even if the wind was terribly cold under there. 
A large group of people heading down the sidewalk interrupted her planning, and she looked up to see some well-dressed men, accompanied by a shorter, thinner, redheaded woman walking her way, and she quickly sank back into the building’s exterior as best as she could to give them some room, and also make herself look as small as possible. It was quite obvious that this group had money. They were dressed too well. Usually, well-off people didn’t like homeless people, and Y/N feared that they would have her tossed away from her meal, especially since the tall, breathtakingly handsome, green eyed one seemed to be unable to keep himself from openly staring at her as they walked past. He little slower than his counterpart who seemed to not notice her at all as they walked into the establishment where, she watched them all make their order through the window, sighing in relief when they didn’t seem to be talking to the cashier about her. 
She noticed that the handsome, green-eyed man sat on the end of the booth they were all sitting at once they placed their order, allowing the woman that was with them the safer seat against the wall. She wished she knew what it was like to have someone like that protecting her. God he was handsome. Tall, thick in all the right places. His features were striking. A strong jaw accented by just the right amount of facial hair, and if she looked hard enough at him, she could almost see a light dusting of freckles on his face. The man was a walking, living, breathing work of art; something beautiful in the dark and cold world that she lived in. 
Suddenly, as if he could feel her looking at him, his astonishing green gaze turned and met hers. For a moment, she thought she saw a flash of something cross his handsome face. Sadness? Pity maybe? But whatever it was, it disappeared fast, and he was on his feet, making his way on long, bowed legs to the cashier that was leaning against the counter, texting on her phone. 
A deep rock dropped into the pit of her stomach, and she bit back the tears as she slowly started to gather her things. Surely, he was going to ask her to be moved like all rich men did. Which meant that he may have been an Adonis on the outside, but on the inside, he was just as cold and ugly as everyone else in his status. Then again, maybe she was just that cursed, and it had nothing to do with what men seemed to think of her at all.
The door chimed behind her as it open, and she scrambled faster to dump the change she’d collected into her bag to hide it there, when she noticed the same dark jeans that the man was wearing inside the shop kneel down in front of her in the corner of her vision, and she froze terrified as to what was to come from him. 
“Hi,” he greeted her, and shivered against the wind that billowed through the now suddenly, impressively empty street. 
Y/N kept her eyes on the ground, holding her breath, unsure as to what might happen next, she was too scared to run, and honestly, he’d probably be able to grab her before she could even get away. 
“Are you hungry?” he questioned, keeping his deep voice as soft as possible as he offered her a wrapped sub gingerly, and her stomach rolled loudly as she looked at his freckle dusted hand; giving her away so that she was unable to deny her situation at hand. 
“Take it honey, it’s okay,” he pressed, and she reached for the sandwich with shaking hands, half expecting him to jerk it away at the last minute and laugh, but he didn’t do that to her surprise. He just let her take it from him with the same sad look on his face as he’d had when he’d passed her earlier while he watched her unwrap it with trembling fingers. 
She mumbled a quiet, “thank you.”
Before another word could escape his perfect, pink lips, the door to the establishment opened once more, and this time, a taller, thinner man was at the door, along with the short, red-haired woman. 
“Hey Jay, Felisha needs to go back to the hot–,” the man blurted out, stopping in his tracks when he saw that his friend, ‘Jay’ was crouched down in front of the homeless girl that loitered the side of the building, and Y/N could have sworn a slight panic crossed his features. “Is—is everything okay?” He questioned him, and the man in front of her just nodded, not taking his eyes off of Y/N, who was now cowering slightly under his sharp gaze, and away from the man that had just come out of the door. 
“Yeah, everything’s fine, you guys go ahead,” he said, reaching out to take the sandwich the man at the door offered him, “I’ll catch up to you guys.”
“Jensen,” the woman, Felisha said, taking a tentative step forward, but Jensen, which was apparently the handsome man’s name, and ‘Jay’ was just a nickname, held his hand up to stop her as Y/N slid back a little further on against the wall away from the three of them, suddenly, she felt trapped. 
She’d heard of sex traffickers capturing younger, or young, women on the streets, and suddenly, she was afraid this was just that. 
“No, you’re scaring her,” Jensen voiced in an authoritative tone, and his friends took a step backward to give them some room. “You two go on back to the convention. I’ll meet you there, I promise, I just wanna make sure she’s okay.”
The tall man wrapped his arm around the woman’s shoulders and nodded at his friend before they both started back towards where they’d came from, leaving her alone with Jensen, and Felisha looking back over her shoulder as they went, concern etched deep in her pixie-like features. 
Jensen then did something that shocked the hell out of her. Instead of grabbing her, which is what she expected him to do, he plopped himself down on the wall next to her and began to open his own food. 
“What’s your name sweetheart?” he questioned, and Y/N just looked at him like a deer caught in headlights. It had been so long since someone asked her that question, a simple, ‘what’s your name,’ that she had to think about it herself. 
Had she really been out here so long that she’d forgotten her own identity? 
“Y/N,” she whispered, her voice barely audible over the rain that broke loose overhead, and the loud crack of lightning that followed, causing Jensen to look away from her for a moment, and up towards the angry, dark sky. 
“I’m Jensen,” he said, keeping his voice calm and low, probably to try and keep from scaring her again. 
Personally, Y/N was still trying to figure the man out. Why the hell would this God of a man sitting down in the dirty street to eat his sandwich next to a homeless girl? Much less introduce himself after asking her name? Was he dangerous, should she run?
As if Jensen sensed her sudden extreme fear and apprehension, he slid a little closer to her, blocking a little of the blistering cold wind and rain with his broad back and shoulders before he continued. 
“How long have you been living like this Y/N?” he asked, taking another large bite of his food, which reminded her that she had her own in her hand. 
He couldn’t be that horrible. Maybe he was just an eccentric rich guy who just like to talk to homeless people? He couldn't be that bad if he was being this nice, could he? Surely if he was part of some sex trafficking ring, they would have grabbed her and made off with her by now, right?
“Almost three years,” she answered him, looking down and flinching away from the flash of lightning that lit up the street in front of them. Jensen even flinched himself this time. She knew before long, they would both have to get off the street and find shelter somewhere. Which meant she would probably never see the handsome stranger again, and that made her heart ache just a little. He was the first person in so long to show her any kindness. She hated to see him leave, even if he might be a weird sereal killer or something. At this point she’d take what she could get. 
“Damn,” he murmured, a look of what she thought might be disgust crossing his face, and shame flooded her, causing her to look down at her lap in order to keep from crying. 
Crying did no good. There was no point in crying. 
Jensen’s phone rang in his pocket, and he quickly silenced it, not even bothering to look and see who was calling him, most likely it was his friends that had left him there with her. 
Jensen looked up the street at the falling rain, and then back to Y/N’s trembling form before he stood slowly, a heartbroken look in his deep green eyes as he reached out a hand to her, determination taking control of his face, and she just stared back at him as if he’d lost his mind. 
“Come on honey, it’s freezing out here, and it’s pouring, please come back to the hotel with me. I know that sounded terrible, like I’m some sort of pervert or something, but I swear I’m not,” he said, pulling a tag that said Creation Entertainment Supernatural Convention, from his back pocket and showing it to her. “My hotel is less than a block from here. I’m here for the convention, Dallas is my hometown, I’m from here. I’m not just some freak. I can’t leave you out here in this, I just can’t. I swear I’ll not lay a finger on you. I just can’t leave you alone and cold here in the rain.”
Y/N’s chest tightened as panic, and some other emotion she wasn’t sure of gripped her tight around the throat and threatened to choke her. She knew then, she had a choice to make. She could either turn down the handsome stranger, watch him walk away back to his job, leaving her to live in the squalor she found herself in, maybe survive another day…
Or she could take this man by the hand and leave with him to the hotel he was staying at, and leave this mess behind her for even just a night…
Worst case scenario, he would kill her and dump her body in a dumpster behind the place he was staying when he was done doing God knows what to her. It was a fate she knew would probably happen to her eventually if she kept living the life she was living, she wasn’t an idiot. 
She was pretty certain that he wasn’t a sex trafficker, or else he wouldn't have the badge he had shown her to get into the convention. 
Maybe he just wanted a good time for a night, and thought she was an easy pick up for some sick reason? Would that really be so horrible? So what if she had to sleep with him to stay the night? At least he was attractive and seemed nice. Surely he’d let her take a shower and sleep on the floor of a warm, dry hotel room, that was more than she could ask for… Even if he did kill her, what did she have to lose?
Jensen watched as she debated within herself, patient, the rain beginning to dampen his jacket and perfectly placed brown hair, but he never moved a muscle, just looked at her with the most pleading eyes she’d ever seen. 
Slowly, still somewhat unsure of her own fate, she reached up and took his warm, massive hand, and he helped her to her feet. 
There was no going back now, either way, she’d just sealed her fate…
“Come on darlin,” he said, slipping his jacket from his massive shoulders and over her own thin frame, not caring that the rain pelted against his side as he slowly started to guide her towards the massive hotel off in the distance. “Let's get you dry and cleaned up.”
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Forever:
@samanddeaninatrenchcoat
@wittysunflower
@demongirl1996  
@as-lost-as-sams-shoe
@jensenslady79
@spnwoman
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SAF tag list
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