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honeytuesday · 10 hours ago
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august is golden hour. warm and surreal--time suspended in an aureate glow. august is that pause at the top of a rollercoaster, breeze caressing your face, legs hanging forgotten, heart hovering impartial above a world far-removed. soul strapped in tightly, body following along like a balloon on a string. everything is a dream, but the ground feels impossibly solid as soon as you touch down.
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starrynightdeancas · 10 hours ago
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dean constantly buys packs of socks, but somehow they always go missing. plain white socks, colored styles, or quirky patterns. he'll wear them once and then they disappear. it isn't until dean is putting cas' trenchcoat back in the angel's room that he see the open drawer... full of his socks... in cas' room. dean starts looking more closely after that, and, sure enough, he discovers that cas is wearing his socks. when he finally asks about it weeks later, cas gets this bashful look on his face as he mumbles, "i didn't think you'd notice. i just... they're just... it reminds me of you." the thought is so ridiculously sweet that dean leans in and kisses cas, then and there, for the very first time. dean doesn't mind sharing his socks after that, as long as he gets to have cas' love in return.
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t-lostinworlds · 10 hours ago
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Revenge Is Sweet | Social Media AU (Tom Holland)
️⚽️ Part 8.1 ⟶ fiery & reveal(?)
➽ SYNOPSIS: When Oliver finally showed up at practice, Tom wanted to rub it on his face what he’s lost, just as planned. But the decision was driven by a rather intense emotion, one that he was having a difficult time controlling. You had expected it to be simple & quick, just to get on your ex’s nerves, but things got a little...heated since someone got carried away.
✩ SERIES MASTERLIST ✩ TOM HOLLAND MASTERLIST ✩ MAIN MASTERLIST ✩
⊱ ─────.⋅♚ *。・゚.★. *。・゚✫*.
A/N: my summary sigh but making it up posting a lil early!! oh and i apologise for that one huge thing that just stands out from the rest asdfghjkl i didn’t estimate this properly. also!! if you catch a certain change then 👀👀 devil’s in the details (it’s very very minor btw lol). but anyways next part is going to be loooonger so i apologise in advance. hope you enjoy this one!! <3
✫*゚・゚。.★.*。・゚♛ *.
↬ reblog & leave a comment if you enjoyed! ✎ feedback is always appreciated <3
ミ☆ taglist in masterlist & bio!
©️ t-lostinworlds, 2021
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knox-knocks · 10 hours ago
i wish u would write a fic where neil and andrew knew each other in the past by some magical means (dream walking or telepathy or something) not thinking they'd ever meet in real life and then uh oh they do
yesss i love these kind of fics. thank you for the prompt, anon!
~
Doe? Are you there?
I'm here, Abram.
Neil squeezed his eyes shut. He let out a shaky breath when he heard the tiny whisper in the back of his head answer his call. Doe didn't always respond when Neil reached out, but he was always there when Neil needed him. And right now Neil really needed him.
I think I'm making a big mistake.
Are you safe?
I'm never safe.
The first time Neil realized he heard a voice in his head that didn't belong to him, he was bleeding out from a bullet wound in his shoulder. It had just grazed the edge of his Kevlar vest, but Neil's vision still swam in and out as his blood stained the seats of a 1997 Ford Escort while his mother pushed 100 to get the hell out of dodge. Neil hadn't meant to call out, but the response he heard was the only thing that helped him cling to consciousness. After that, he heard the voice more often.
It took a long time for Neil to acknowledge that the voice was real and he had a strange connection to a boy named Doe. Neil didn't know much about Doe except that he was a year older, he lived in California, and he was an orphan. Neil used to wish he was an orphan, but sometimes Doe sounded so unhappy, so broken, that Neil took it all back.
Four years since that moment, and Doe became the person Neil relied on most. He never told him his real name, or where he was, or why he was running, but he shared his middle name. The name that was sacred and the one his mother only used when she thought he was asleep or dying. And when his mother was gone in a plume of dark smoke and black sand, Doe was there to help pick up the pieces.
Neil pressed his hand to his chest and forced air into his lungs while Doe quietly counted out breaths. His ribs still hurt from the racquet Andrew Minyard slammed into his stomach, and the scratch of his pen over paper as he signed his name on the line still reverberated in his ears, but it wasn't enough to drown out Doe's voice.
Everything was changing and Neil was terrified and exhilarated all at once. He wished Doe was more than a presence in the back of his mind. He needed him now more than ever before. But for now, Neil simply breathed.
I'm here, Abram.
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kmackatie · 13 hours ago
Hello! If you're feeling up for it, 84, 102, or 119 for the intimacy prompts with Shadowgast? Any of those, if they inspire anything. 😊
Hello! Definitely inspired something! This is for one of them, though the other two will probably get written at some stage and posted separately!
request a prompt from this list here
119 - being in comfortable clothes together shadowgast, post canon, 620 words, no content warnings apply
His hair is damp, as he steps out of their bathing chamber, unable to get it completely dry without the use of prestidigitation. His hands itch to cast, as he pulls the towel off his head and shrugs into one of Caleb’s sweaters, but he stops himself. He’s trying to get better at taking comfort in not needing to be immaculate when he’s here in Caleb’s house. Caleb already knows what he looks like; between Aeor, and the years since, there’s been many times he’s ended up in a state of undress.
Dropping the towel down onto the hamper, Essek pads into the bedroom, the timber floors slightly cold under his bare feet. He doesn’t float while here. Not anymore, and it’s nice to have his feet connected to the ground. Like he’s home, and doesn’t need to pretend.
And he doesn’t, as he pauses in front of the dresser, unearthing a pair of soft, threadbare sleep pants and slips them on. They are large, barely staying up on his thin frame, and he has to knot the cord firmly to keep them from sliding down his hips. The sweater too, with it’s stretched out neckline that hangs off one shoulder. They are both Caleb’s and he has given up pretending he doesn’t enjoy wearing things that belong to him. Can even admit out loud that it’s comforting, to be surrounded by Caleb’s scent and warmth, that he misses it every time he’s away.
Caleb is already in bed, propped up against the headboard with a stack of pillows behind his back, glasses on and book open in front of him. He’s in a long, sleeveless loose shirt, the sleeves having been sacrificed long ago, and as far as Essek can tell, that’s all he is in. He can’t help the fond chuckle that escapes as he climbs in next to him and presses a kiss to Caleb’s head.
“How are you not cold?”
“Hmm?” Caleb looks up from his book, eyes still a mile away as he focuses on Essek. He blinks, before answering. “Empire blood. We run hot.”
“I know,” replies Essek, settling in and fussing with the blankets around them.
Caleb smiles at him as he tips his head back to look at him, the lines around his eyes crinkle and bright blue eyes shining. He reaches a hand out and takes one of Essek’s, threading their fingers together.
“Are you comfortable? I can grab an extra blanket?”
“No need, aşkım. I am quite comfortable.”
He reaches his free hand out, and using a bit of telekinesis, floats his own book off the bedside table and over to him. Flipping it open to the place marked by a scrap of paper, he wedges himself further down into the cushions.
They lose themselves in each of their own books, the quiet only distrubed by the rustling of turning pages and Caleb’s mug of tea, and occasionally the brush of a thumb across the back of Essek’s hand. He’s unsure of how much time has passed, before there’s a prickle of awareness that draws him out of the text. He’s being watched, the weight of eyes on the side of his neck causing his lips to quirk into a smile.
Caleb’s page hasn’t turned in a while.
“May I help you?”
“Seeing you in my clothes, it makes me happy.” Caleb’s voice is low and rumbly, a huskiness that Essek knows comes from Caleb being on the edge of sleep. “Seeing you as just Essek, without the layers.”
“Oh?”
“That you trust me enough to do so. It’s special.”
Essek just raises their still-joined hands, and presses a kiss to the back of Caleb’s palm.
“I love you too.”
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honeytuesday · 8 hours ago
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tumblr's love affair with month-themed art/literature my beloved...anticipating and celebrating each month for its unique offerings...god it gives me so much hope and excitement for the everyday...there's something special waiting for me around every corner as long as i remember to keep my eyes and heart open
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thedamageofherdays · 13 hours ago
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Steve Rogers loves Bucky Barnes every day of the week.
[Stucky, 1156 words, Mature, mainly fluff and Steve and Bucky being married and retired]
You can read the fic here.
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mysticalrambling · 11 hours ago
Hey there😄😄I hope you're doing fine....I love your fanfictionss just too much and *adorable addition* is just my top favorite atory of yours😍😍😍. Yesterday you said i could make a request too so i was wondering if you can take in a request??😅😅 which is a Steve Rogers x reader request, which I had in mind for a long long time...I have made this request to some authors before but some of them never responded or just weren't interested in writing it so you can too decline but hear me out please😅😅... Ok so here goes nothing....
**Steve and reader being in an arranged marriage and steve is very rude towards the reader and would blame her, that due to their marriage he is not with peggy and how she irritates him, but still the reader did sweet things for him, made him food, tried to make him happy and tried to make their marriage work...but one day when she has enough of all the hurt, she stop doing stuff for steve and starts ignoring him..and also steve sees that peggy didn't love him but only his status as Captain America and was happy with someone else..then he realises his mistake and felt bad for treating his wife poorly...he tries to make up things with her but she now ignores him...His team members berate him for ignoring his wife and he gets jealous seeing someone else making a move on her.....and now he has to work his ass off to win back his wife...And can you end it with a happy ending and can it be long also? please🥺🥺
Arrange Marriage (S.R)
A/N: Thank you so much lovely and I loved the plot line. I loved writing about it and I made a few additions to the story. Hope you like it and I am open to more requests.
Steve Rogers Fanfiction (Fanfiction Master List)
Summary: Steve and you are married because the government wants Captain America to be a family ma. Steve is not happy with the arrangement and thinks he is in love with Peggy. You try to make your marriage work but he insults you every chance he gets. However, everything works out eventually.
Warnings: Angst but eventual fluff.
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"I prepared some dinner for you," You spoke out when you saw your husband rushing towards his room. That's right, his room. Even though you were married for about a month now, you have never been in the same room for more than ten minutes.
"I am not hungry." He was quick to dismiss you and went straight to his room. You just looked at the muddy footsteps that were the only evidence that Steve was here. He was on one of his missions with your dad, Nick Fury. Your step dad, actually, because he rescued you from one of hydra base camps when you were eight years old. Those times were something that you have repressed in your mind and you would never think about them.
A few tears escaped your eyes when you kept all of the untouched food in the fridge which you spent hours preparing. You understood that you were not your husband's first choice but you both had an obligation to try to make it work. But lately, it was like you were all alone in this relationship and you felt so worthless.
Wiping the tears away, you made your way to the master bedroom because you had enough. If years of therapy have taught you anything, it is that no one had the right to make you feel that way. "Come in!" His pissed off voice filtered through the door and you took a shaky breath before entering.
"Hi. I just wanted to say that I prepared all of your favorite food and you didn't even look at it." You spoke timidly.
"I told you I was not hungry." He said from the changing closet and came out in his sweats. Looking tired was something not new for Captain America now a days and everyone at work was also starting to notice the change. "Why are we pretending to be like a normal, married couple?"
"Why can't we be one? I am trying here." He looked anywhere but at you because he knew that he would see those damp eyes. That was enough to make him feel guilty and he wanted to prevent that.
"You know why. I am in love with Peggy." The most hurtful thing that your life partner can say to you and Steve just did without taking your feelings into account.
"Then you could have said something before we got married." Panic was slowly setting in because you realised that you were stuck in a marriage that is never going to work out.
"The whole government was pushing me towards this marriage and Peggy was still not ready for that kind of commitment. I was stuck with you." Steve knew that the statement hurt you the moment the words escaped his lips. This was a revelation that rocked your world. And not in a great way, might you add. "You could have rejected the proposal."
"Do you think it was that simple for me? Dad has done so much for me and this was the one thing that he asked off me so I did not refuse. I thought that you agreed to this marriage and we could work it out in the future." Those dreams were being crushed right now and you knew that this marriage was doomed. It was like a hit to your gut and you felt caged in this room with your husband.
"Well, we can not." Leaving the room, you went straight to bed and cried yourself to sleep because there was nothing else you could add to that conversation.
After sometime, Steve came out of his room and made his way towards the kitchen. Opening the fridge, he took out the food to heat it up and realised that you made all of his favorite food. He was never going to admit it but he loved your cooking. Every night he comes in to the kitchen to eat all the food that you prepared for him. However, he realised that you didn't eat any of the food so you probably went to bed hungry. The guilt was eating him up and he felt helpless because he wanted to think that he didn't care about you. But sometimes, you don't even realise when a person is warming their way into your heart.
"Do you want to watch a movie?" Steve was home today and you were going out of your mind with boredom so you thought of asking him for some company.
"I am not in the mood." He was quick to dismiss the idea and turned around in the hallway while still scrolling through his phone.
"I just thought-"
"You thought nothing. Why are you so clingy? I told you I do not want to work on this relationship. You are the reason that I can not be with the love of my life. Please just leave me alone.” He rudely interrupted you because he was not in the mood to interact with anyone. Seeing a picture of Peggy on instagram, he became aware of the fact that he could not be with her because he is a married man now.
Peggy Carter had been the first person that he saw when he woke up from the ice after 40 years. She helped him to become Captain America and she was the most important person in his eyes. Those few months were really difficult for Steve but she helped him get through them. Peggy quickly became his girlfriend and when the councilmen wanted him to get married, he was quick to propose. But she told him that she was not ready to take that step and she backed off. He was still pining over her and it was not fair to blame you for everything but he needed to do that to make himself feel better.
“I am sorry.”
“(Y/N)-” You left before he could say anything else. There is only so much a person can tolerate.
Over the course of a few days, Steve noticed that you were indeed leaving him alone. You were not there to welcome him home when he got back from his missions and give him a massage even after he told you not to. You did not cook from him anymore and he really missed it. He loved the fact that you always made his favorites and you never even had to ask him. You haven’t talked to him since the night he yelled at you. Guilt was an emotion that he often felt whenever he saw you.
“So there is a charity event that we both are invited too. It’s black tie optional.” He leaned against the door as he watched you doing laundry.
“Okay, I will be ready.” These were the only five words that you have said to him in the past two weeks and they were not enough. He has missed you and your conversations. The house was too quiet now a days and he didn’t like it one bit. But he was too stubborn to be the one to break the wall.
“You have to wear a dress. Many people will be watching you because you are Captain America’s wife so please do not go with your sense of style.” He wanted to slap himself in the face when he saw you freeze. Why couldn’t he just have said something nice to her? Steve didn’t know how to talk to you without messing it up.
“Okay.” Sighing, he left the room and sulked in his bedroom for the remaining day.
You were never going to say it out loud, but you were really hurt by what he said today and that day. None of it was your fault and you have been thinking about ending this marriage. However, the thing was that you made a commitment and you were never the one to back out from things. You quickly finished doing the laundry and went to take a shower.
“Are you ready?” Steve fixed his bow tie before you opened the room and he was left speechless. You in a red dress with a slit running through the side was a side of you that he had never seen. So bold and outgoing.
“Yes. Just let me quickly apply my lipstick.” Watching you apply a red lipstick left him in a trance. His wife was truly something unique but he just ignored it. Shaking himself out of it, he thought about Peggy and how he loves her. You both left afterwards and the car ride was quiet with the exception of a few stolen glances.
‘We have to go hand in hand and smile for the red carpet.”
“Okay.”
You were always a little scared to walk in to these kinds of events and so you tightly clutched on to your husband’s arm. Steve knew that you were a little bit of an introvert so he squeezed your hand in response.
“I am going to go meet some councilmen.”
“I’ll be by the bar.” Making your way towards the makeshift bar, you ordered a martini and just sat there mixing your drink. On the other hand, Steve made polite talk with the councilmen and then excused himself to the washroom. He heard someone mention his name on his way to the washroom and that piqued his interest.
“Come on, I was never in love with Steve. He was my assignment from the S.H.I.E.L.D and that was it. I had to help Captain America adjust to this life.  I love you, Oliver and that is a fact.” Steve quickly left before he could hear anything else.
Honestly, he couldn’t believe that all those months spent with Peggy were just a lie and he was ruining his marriage because of her. He thought that it would hurt a lot but it was kind of a relief. He was now realising that he was never in love with her. It was kind of an obligation for him because he thought that he somehow owed it to Penny. But he didn’t and now he can finally give his marriage a fair try and not feel guilty about it.
“So what is a beautiful girl like you doing at a bar all alone?” Turning around, you saw Bucky with a smile adorning his face.
“Hi. It’s been such a long time since I last saw you.” You hugged your friend because he was one of the people that you were close to. You actually missed him in these past few months and were glad to see him right now. Getting in to a conversation was way easier than you thought.
“Hey Buck. What are you doing?” Your husband was quick to place his hands on the small of your back and you silently choked on his intimate gesture.
“I am fine, Stevie. Just catching up with (Y/N).”
“Oh okay. Would you mind if I take my wife to the dance floor?”
“No worries.” Silently taking you to the middle of the room, you both got to dancing and your breath hitched when he was so close to you right now. His cologne had taken over all your senses and you were drunk on him. God, it was pathetic but you could not help yourself.
“I want to try to work on our marriage.” You didn’t know if you were hearing things right now so you muttered a silent, “Come again.” He silently chuckled and repeated the sentence again. Looking at him, you stopped dancing and left the room.
“Why did you leave?” He found you at the balcony just staring at the stars with your hands wrapped around yourself. “It’s freezing.”
“Why? Why would you say something like that?” You whispered silently.
“I mean it. I want to try.”
“Don’t you love Peggy?”
“I have realised that I didn’t love her. It was like an obligation to me and I like you.”
“I can’t do this. You insulted me every chance you got and you made me think so low of myself.”
“I know and I am so sorry for that. I will spend my life apologising to you for it. Please, give me a chance.” There were some tears in your eyes and everything was becoming blurry.
“I can’t do that. I will always be your second choice.”
“No, you are not. Trust me, I have had feelings for you but I have been trying to repress them from the very start.” He tried to touch you but you took a step back.
“If we try this relationship thing out, will you promise me that you will tell me when you want to get out. We can get divorced right then and there.”
“I don’t want to be divorced and I will spend my life making it up to you.” He was quick to kiss you and it was way better than your wedding ceremony kiss. “I like you, (Y/N).”
“I like you too, Steve.” You went in to kiss him again and were glad that this marriage was going to work.
Hope you guys enjoyed it!!
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A/N: I love Captain America and I was happy to write a fanfiction about him. If you guys have any more request, I will be happy to write about them and message me if you want to be added to the tag list.
Tag list: @kalopsia-flaneur
Like, comment and reblog.
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thedevilsdom · 7 hours ago
Omg bestie can we have "bend over. Im not kidding" w beel bc im THIRSTY i jus wanna peg that thicc mf <33
"Bend over." You push Beel gently towards the bed, "I'm not kidding."
He wasn't used to you being so assertive, but sometime about seeing him in his fangol practice match just had you picturing fucking him from behind. It was something about seeing him completely decimate the other team, watching him doing something he loves so much and being so good at it.
"MC?" Beel asks, eyes wide. He'd hardly stepped through the bedroom door, still in all of his uniform gear.
"Come on, bend over, bend over." You urge, your strap on already on.
"I haven't showered-"
"I don't care," With another soft shove, his knees hit the edge of the bed and he tumbles forward, presenting himself nicely. "You want my strap?"
"Uh- yes, please,"
The very second you can, you're hooking your fingers around his waistband and pulling his pants and underwear down over his muscular legs. You quickly lube up your strap and thrust into him in near the same movement. His strong hands grip the bed's covers, his back arching and shoulders tensing.
"No prep?" He grits out, though he loves the stretch.
"You teased me too much on the field and took too long." You lean over him and immediately set a brutal pace that has him gasping as your hand starts to stroke his cock. "Too sexy out there. Couldn't keep my eyes off you."
Beel's quick to devolve into wordless moans underneath you, your hand and hips working quickly to unravel him. You almost wish you'd gotten his shirt off first, that way you could leave some lovely marks, but this will do.
"Gonna cum," He groans.
"Yeah? My pent up boy want to paint these sheets white?" You run your thumb over the sensitive head of his dick while you do your best to drag your strap along his prostate. All he can do is whine and nod, eyes screwed shut. "Go on baby, cum for me."
Beel easily falls apart at the seams under you, dropping into a shuddering, moaning orgasm that has his back arching and his hands knotting themselves in the sheets as his cock pulses in your hand and jets out obscene amounts of cum. You fuck him through it until he can relax again.
"Ah, wow," He huffs, looking back at you, "Should I expect this every time you come watch my games?"
"Depends, did you like it?"
"Very much." He's quick to respond.
"Then... Maybe." You give him a quick kiss, "If you're good."
--
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jiminbbyboy · 7 hours ago
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feat: Prince Bang Chan x f.reader
modern royal / forbidden love au
↳ He was Prince and soon to be King, and she was his a royal assistant who looked after him. Thing between them have changed as they cross a line that they probably shouldn’t of crossed.
{“Your Highness you’re not suppose to be with me. I’m not the girl that’s right for you, you’re supposed to marry someone from royalty.”
“It shouldn’t matter that you’re not from royalty.”}
word count: 8.5k
genre: 3rd person reader insert, angst, romance, star-crossed lovers, modern au, modern royal au, smut, explicit sexual content.
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“Your Highness, you have a meeting with the Duchess from up north in an hour,” she said with no emotion as she sat on the chair in the corner that was by the large window.
He turned as he adjusted his blazer and looked over at her with an intent look, “can you cancel that meeting?”
Shaking her head, “your father has informed me that you are not allowed to cancel this meeting.”
Looking down at her tablet she started to scroll through her and the Prince’s to-do list for the day. She could feel his warm eyes burning a hole into her. She knew that he wanted to have a conversation with her that she didn’t want to have.
“Your Highness we have to meet with your father in his office before your meeting with the Duchess,” her tone was very professional and it was getting on Prince’s nerves.
“(Y/n) stop calling me your Highness,” he walked away from the mirror and stood right in front of her.
“Oh I’m sorry Prince Chan,” her tone was cold.
He sighed and rolled his eyes, “don’t call me Prince either.”
Holding her tablet against her chest she looked up at him, “you’re my boss, and I’m to only refer to you as your Highness, or Prince Chan. Please tell me which one you would prefer,” her face was expressionless and her voice was cold.
With another sigh he ran his fingers through his curls, “why are you acting like this. We both know there is more here then you being my secretary?”
Looking down at the floor she shook her head, “you’re going to this lunch to meet possibly your future wife, I’m sorry I’m not exactly thrilled about that.”
Knitting his eyebrows together he placed his hand under her chin, and gently lifted her face so she was looking at him, “I’m not going to marry her.”
Pulling away from him she shook her head, “I’m not allowed to get in between you and what’s right for this country.”
Shaking his head, “I don’t want to be with anyone other than you.”
“Well your Highness, I’m not an option for you. To your family I am nothing more than your secretary and for the sake of my job, and that can’t change.”
His eyes were filled with sadness and remorse. They were two star crossed lovers that were never meant to be. He was the soon to be King of their country, and she was nothing more than the girl who grew up in a middle class family. She was just his secretary. She had worked closely with the prince for the last five years. They had started out as nothing more than a work relationship, and that turned to more. She watched as he dated a few girls from upper class families, but in the last year things had changed between them. They slept together after his twenty-fifth birthday, the morning after which led to (YN) being in a panic. She was worried that she was going to lose her job over her lapse in judgement. That night led to them starting a secret affair. Chan was well aware that he wasn’t supposed to have a relationship with any of the palace staff, especially his royal advisor/secretary. But that couldn’t stop him from wanting to be with her.
Standing up she smoothed down her skirt and looked at him with sad eyes.
“What if I turn down the crown?” He asked because he would do anything to be with her.
“That’s not something you can do,” she sighed. “Chan, I can’t have this conversation right now.”
“(YN) we need to talk about this though,” he stepped towards her.
Shaking her head, “you need to go talk with your father and then meet with the duchess, and I need to get some air.”
Walking over to the door she held it open and Chan followed her out into the hallway. Silently they walked down the hallway together. There was tension between them as the both kept glancing at each other. They both had a million things they needed to say to each other but they weren’t able to.
Arriving at his fathers office, she held the door open and they walked inside together. The king was sitting at his desk with his guards standing by both of the large windows.
“Chan, how are you this morning?” The king asked.
“I’m fine, father,” Chan answered.
“The duchess will be arriving at any moment for the two of you to get to know each other,” the king was barely paying attention to Chan. He seemed to be focused on the paperwork laid out in front of him.
“Sir, why do I have to get to know the Duchess?” Chan asked.
Looking up at his son, his eyebrows knit together, “she will hopefully be the future Queen of this nation.”
(YN) heart dropped at the mention of Chan marrying the duchess. Looking down at the floor she couldn’t even bring herself to look at Chan or the King.
Chan glanced over at (YN) who was standing next to him. Sighing he said, “can’t we discuss this?”
The king shook his head, “Son, you will get to know Duchess Nayeon, and she will hopefully sooner than later become your wife.”
(YN) closed her eyes tightly taking in what the king was saying to Chan. Shaking his head Chan stepped back, “thank you for your time father.”
Chan quickly left the room and (YN) followed behind him. Silently Chan walked back towards his room, he couldn’t even bring himself to speak. At that moment he was furious with his father. The moment they were in his room (YN) quietly shut the door as he started to pace the room. She knew right then that they needed to end what was between them, because it was very obvious that Chan didn’t have a say in who he was going to marry. She needed to cut her losses before she got even more hurt then she was going to be.
“Chan,” she said softly, capturing his attention.
“Baby whatever you’re going to say, I’m begging you not to say it,” he said, stopping in his tracks. He knew exactly where this was going and he couldn’t handle it. Nothing could prepare him to lose her. She had become the only thing he cared about in the last year. He loved her with every part of his being, and he couldn’t let his kingdom stand between them.
Shaking her head she felt her eyes start to brim with tears.
“I’m not going to marry her,” he sighed, stepping towards her. He placed his hand on her cheek, “we can figure this out.”
“We need to stop this,” she whispered.
He shook his head fighting back tears, “no.”
“Chan, we can’t ever actually be together. We both know that being together publicly isn’t something that can ever happen.”
A tear slid down his cheek, “I’ll walk into my fathers office and tell him I don’t want the crown. We can leave the palace together and live a normal life.”
“I love you, but this is over. I can’t stand between you and your destiny,” she sighed as tears slid down her cheek.
Shaking his head, everything in him felt like it was breaking. He loved her with his whole heart and soul, and she couldn’t slip away. “Why won’t you fight for us?”
“Because we can’t actually be together. I already broke the rules when we slept together for the first time. I can’t let you throw your life away for me.” Tears slid down her cheek effortlessly. Her heart was breaking but she was trying not to be selfish. 
“So that’s it? You don’t want to fight for us?” He’s yelling in desperation not ready to let go. 
“You need to do what’s right for your family,” she cried.
“I want you though,” he whispered.
“I want you too, but you need to go meet the Duchess Nayeon.”
“That’s it then?”
She nods curtly.  
He stepped away from her and wiped the tears off his face and stared at her for a long moment. She broke his heart because she was trying to protect him. He wanted to be mad at her and yell at her for not wanting to fight for what they had, but he couldn’t because she was putting aside her own happiness for him. Her selflessness was one of his favorite qualities of hers, but right then he hated that she was selfless.
He took a deep breath and stormed out of the room. She was left alone and it was only two a few moments before she broke down sobbing. Fate was cruel and led her into the arms of a man that she was never supposed to love.
Sitting on the floor she sobbed for a solid five minutes before she gathered herself enough to walk to her quarters of the palace. Walking into her room she neglected her duties to watch after the Prince as he had lunch with Duchess Nayeon, but she couldn’t bring herself to watch King’s attempt to find Chan a wife. Laying on her bed she stared at the wall as the tears dried from her cheeks. The sound of her door opening let her know that Chan’s lunch had ended. Glancing up she found him walking towards her. He shrugged off his jacket and crawled onto her bed and laid behind her. He didn’t touch her at first. He just laid behind her in complete silence. He wasn’t even sure what he should say. The lunch had gone well, probably too well. In his heart he prayed that the Duchess would be intolerable, and he could get away with saying she wasn’t cut out to be princess, but unfortunately that wasn’t the case. The Duchess Nayeon was a beautiful and charming girl and would make an amazing future queen, but he didn’t see a future with her. The only person he saw a future with he was lying in bed with.
“I don’t want to marry her,” he whispered, finally speaking. Closing her eyes she took in what he said. “We can figure something out, but I refuse to court her,” he sighed.
Rolling over she looked over at Chan who was lying a foot away from her. Biting her bottom lip she blankly stared at him. No matter what she said he wasn’t going to stop fighting for her. Chan was never the type of man to give up on something he believed in.
“Your father will fire me if he suspects something,” she whispered. She couldn’t help but worry that no matter what happened between them she was going to be fired.
“We can runway together,” he reached over and rested his hand on top of hers.
“You sound like a crazy person, we can’t run away together,” she knew running away together wasn’t an option. Even though running away together was a dream. In the moment everything seemed to be so hopeless. Silently he stared at her and his eyes seemed to be asking what they should do next.
Silence took over the room as they stared at each other. Chan had asked her to run away together but  it wasn’t a real option but she couldn’t bring herself to tell him no. Everything in her was screaming  to get up and pack a bag and run away with the man she was in love with. Everything except her brain that was trying to think logically. She knew deep down inside that wasn’t an option. That none of this was ever meant to be, that this wasn’t some fairytale. She wasn’t Cinderella, she wasn’t going to get her happily ever after with the Prince.
“We can’t do that,” she whispered with her voice shaking. Tears were on the brink of falling down her cheeks.
Slowly he nodded as he got out of her bed, “let me know if you change your mind.”
He was completely heartbroken by the fact that she didn’t want to fight for what they had. He would do anything for her, but she was too afraid to take a chance on him.
Moments later he walked out of her room and left her alone where it didn’t take long before she started to sob again. 
The rest of the night she didn’t see the prince, she stayed in her room and told the head of the palace security that she didn’t feel well. She didn’t see Chan again until the next morning when she gathered herself enough to do her job. She knew that even though they had basically broken up, she still had to have a professional relationship with him.
Knocking on the door he answered it in nothing but a pair of boxers that sat low on his hips. If it had been any other time before last night her and Chan probably would have slept together then, but suddenly things had shifted between them. Stepping aside he let her into his quarters before walking off to his closet to find something to wear. Walking over she sat down on the chair that was by the window where she pulled out her tablet to find her and Chan’s list of things that had to do that day. 
The sound of Chan clearing his throat captured her attention, looking up she found him buttoning a baby blue dress shirt. She didn’t think she would ever get over how beautiful he was.
“Mrs. (y/l/n) what’s our plans for today?” His tone was cold and formal. He never referred to her by her family name.
“You have a polo game you are attending with Changbin, and Jisung. Then you have a dinner party tonight with the Duchess Nayeon, and the king and queen,” she closed her tablet down and looked up at him as he stared at her with his warm eyes.
“Are you attending both of these with me?” He asked as he started to roll up the sleeves on her shirt.
“I don’t have to go to the polo game with you, but the King has asked me to be at the dinner with you.”
There was a thick tension between the two of them and the room felt as if all the oxygen had been sucked out. There had been such a shift in their relationship suddenly and neither of them were really sure how they should act.
“Okay you don’t have to go to the polo match, but be at my quarters by six for dinner,” he said before walking out of his quarters. 
She stayed sitting in the chair by the window and watched as he walked out of the room leaving her completely alone. She took a deep breath gathering herself attempting to not cry. Standing up she smoothed out her blouse and headed off to her quarters. 
She sat in a warm bubble bath with her eyes closed trying to figure out what she should do. It was obvious that Chan wasn’t taking it well that she wouldn’t fight for their relationship, but so much was at stake for her. If she went public with her relationship with the Prince she would be raked across the coals for having a secret affair with the Prince she worked for. She knew that she would definitely lose her job, and if for some reason things didn’t work out with Chan she would have a hard time getting another job. 
After her bath she took time to herself reading for a little while before she started getting ready for the dinner she was dreading going to.
As she looked through her closet she tried to find what exactly she should wear to this royal dinner. She found a beautiful blush dress that fit the curves of her body perfectly. As the clock struck six she knocked on the Prince’s door. He opened the door looking gorgeous in a navy suit. Her heart raced at the sight of the man in front of her.
“Ready?” He asked with a cold tone.
Silently she nodded and followed him down that hall off to the ballroom. The two of them entered the ballroom and Chan went straight to the duchess to greet her. He placed a kiss on each of her cheek and pulled out her chair before taking his seat next to her. 
Dinner seemed to be a complete blur for (YN) as she watched the man she was in love flirt with the Duchess Nayeon. She couldn’t lie the Duchess was stunning, she had a body to die for and beautiful dark hair that complimented her beautiful complexion. The woman was everything (YN) wished she could be. She ate dinner quietly keeping to herself, she would look over at the Prince and occasionally their eyes would lock making her heart race. She didn’t know if she could live a life where she worked for Chan while he was with another woman. She wasn’t sure how she could watch him fall in love with another woman. Chan owned her heart, and she didn’t know if she was ready to just walk away from what they had.
As dinner came to a close everyone switched to the other side of the ballroom for dancing, music, and drinks. Standing by the window she watched as the Prince and Duchess shared a dance. Tears were threatening to fall as she watched the Duchess smile at something Chan was saying to her. Walking over to the bar she asked for a glass of champagne. 
She didn’t bother sipping on the champagne; she instead drank it quickly as she watched the Duchess walk away from Chan and out of the room. She assumed that she was probably going to the bathroom or something like that. Chan walked over to the bar and was alone for the first time the whole night. He grabbed a glass of champagne before heading off to the balcony. (YN) realized then that she wasn’t ready to give up on what they had. Watching him with someone else was torture. She couldn’t survive a lifetime of knowing that the one man she loves slipped right through her fingers. 
Walking out on the balcony she found him leaning against the rail looking out into the garden that was below. Tapping his shoulder he turned to look at (YN) with a sad look.
“Meet me at the lake at midnight,” she whispered, fearing that someone might hear her.
His eyes went wide as he processed what she had just said to her. “Does that mean what I want it to mean?” He asked.
Silently she nodded her head.
“Okay I’ll be there.”
Without another word she walked out into the ballroom. The rest of the night she stayed away from Chan not wanting to draw any attention to them. As the night came to close about a half hour to midnight she went straight to her quarters to pack a backpack. She couldn’t help but pack frantically, she was shaking with nerves. A nauseous feeling in her stomach the whole time. 
She knew soon the King was going to know about her relationship with Chan. That everything they tried to keep secret would be out in the open. She tried to pack everything she possibly fit into her backpack. She changed into something she could easily run in and would be comfortable enough to sleep in.
At the stroke of midnight she walked up to the lake to find the Prince waiting for her under the tree that sat by the lake. Her body was still shaking with nerves as she walked up to Chan. He reached out and laced his fingers with hers, before pulling her close for a heated kiss. The only light around was the reflection of the moon on the lake and the star. 
Chan pulled away and said, “I have a car waiting for us down the road.”
“Okay,” she said quietly.
Hand in hand they fled the palace grounds. (YN) had no clue where they were going, but she assumed that Chan had some sort of a plan. As they arrived at the car he had been waiting he pressed her against the car and gave her a searing kiss. He kissed her like he hadn’t touched her in years. His lips moved with a sense of desperation. 
Pulling away he whispered, “we’re going to get to be together now.”
“Okay,” she smiled as got into the car.
They drove through the dead of night for hours before Chan took them to one of the Royal Summer houses. It was a place where he had spent most of his childhood summers. It was long before he had the pressure of preparing to be the future King. They arrived when the sun started to rise, and (YN) was sound asleep leaning against the window. The whole ride there Chan had his hand resting on her thigh. Never wanting to let go of her. 
As they arrived Chan parked the car and walked over to help (YN) get out of the car. He pulled out his keys to the house and led them inside. They walked off to Chan’s quarters in the house knowing that they both needed to get some sleep. 
The moment they walked into the room (YN) went straight to the large four post bed that was under the window. Laying on the bed barely awake, she watched as Chan stripped away his jeans and sweater, so he was left only in a pair of boxer briefs.
“You’re so beautiful,” she said, sounding half asleep.
“I’m nothing compared to you baby,” he said softly as he crawled into bed next to her. Without a thought he reached over and pulled the girl next to him close to his body. She curled up close to him and rested her head on his chest. Being held by him seemed to wash away all her nerves, she felt completely safe in his strong arms.
“I love you baby girl,” he said with his lips brushing the top of her head.
“I love you too,” she smiled nuzzling close to him.
As they were locked in that room suddenly the outside world didn’t seem to exist, even though by then the King and all the palace was well aware they were missing. She didn’t want to think about what was going to happen when they were found, she wanted to live in bliss with the man who was holding her.
His lips once again kissed the top of her head as his strong hand rubbed her soft side. 
Chan felt completely happy as he stared at a girl that he loved, but he couldn’t lie in the back of his mind; he was worried about what was going to happen when his father found them. He planned on doing anything and everything to protect the woman who was laying in his arms.
The feeling of a gentle kiss on his collar bone brought him out of his thoughts.
“No matter what I need you know I’m going to fight like hell for you,” he said, causing her to look up at him with tired eyes.
“Okay,” she whispered, knowing that nothing was going to be easy for them. 
With her head resting on his chest, sleep soon found her. It took awhile for Chan to fall asleep, he couldn’t help but let his mind wonder what the future was going to hold. He had to keep telling himself that no matter what he needed to fight like hell for women he was in love with.
-&-
They had been living in bliss for three weeks. The King hadn’t come looking for Chan and (YN), and he couldn’t help but wonder how long they had until his father found them. He couldn’t help but be surprised that his father didn’t make it known to the public that the future King had gone missing. He was extremely happy to know that his father hadn’t attempted to drag (Y/N) name through the mud. He couldn’t help but wonder if his father was actually looking for him. His mind wandered off about how long he and (Y/N) would have together.
They walked through a little market in town hand in hand. Lost in their own little paradise. Living the dream of a normal life. They went into town every so often together so they could get what they needed. The first few trips into town (Y/N) took alone because she and Chan were worried that people would recognize the prince. They both couldn’t help but be a little surprised that nobody seemed to notice that Chan was their future King. 
Walking hand in hand next to the paved road that was shaded by beautiful large trees with dainty pink flowers blossoming. The market wasn’t too far from their hideout and they enjoyed being able to get some fresh air. (Y/N) couldn’t help but smile as a gentle breeze moved her hair out of her face. Chan couldn’t help but look down at the girl he was in love with and smile. This was the life he wanted, something quiet with just the two of them without the pressure of him becoming the King. 
“I love you,” he spoke, breaking the silence that was between them.
“I love you too,” she squeezed his hand as they approached the house. 
They walked inside and (Y/N) was putting away groceries as Chan was making them both a cup of coffee. He sat down at the large island and watched as she hummed along to some song that was stuck in her head. The sweet melody echoing through the kitchen. 
He couldn’t help but smile as he watched, “baby girl do you need help?” 
She shook her head and turned around and smiled, “no I’m finishing up now. I do need some coffee though.”
Walking over she sat down on the stool next to him and grabbed the warm cup of coffee and brought it up to her lips. Taking a sip of the warm liquid she sat the cup down and said, “you always make my coffee just the way I like it.”
“What’s the plan for the day?” He asked.
She shrugged, “I don’t know, I was thinking maybe we could lay in bed and watch a movie.”
“I would love to spend the day in bed with you,” he smiled before taking a sip of his own coffee.
“Maybe we should have some lunch before we stay in bed all day?” 
“That’s a smart idea. What should we make?” He asked.
“We can make salads, we picked up lots of fresh veggies,” she said standing up.
“Perfect.”
They worked together in the kitchen preparing their salads and occasionally Chan would lean over and steal a kiss from her causing her to let out a soft laugh. They ate their lunch together and talked about little things before they headed off to spend the day in bed together.
As she laid on their large comfortable bed that was under the window. Chan stood in front of the tv that was against the wall. He was looking through the movies that we’re the cabinet underneath.
“What kind of movie should we watch?” He asked.
“Whatever you want,” she didn’t care what they watched, because she knew they probably wouldn’t be paying a lot of attention to the movie that was going to be playing. 
After about five minutes Chan finally decided on Singing in the Rain and crawled into bed next to (Y/N). He had changed into sweatpants and was shirtless, she was wearing a comfy t-shirt dress. She curled up close to Chan with her head resting on his chest. 
When the movie ended Chan went to stand up to pick a different movie, but she held onto him not wanting him to get out of bed.
“I’m going to pick a different movie,” he said looking down at her.
Shaking her head, “Just stay in bed with me.”
“Okay,” he said before leaning down to press his lips to hers. 
Their lips moved together as Chan moved his body so he was resting on top of her as they had a heated make-out session. Strong hands roamed the curves of her body pulling her close to him. He rolled them over so he was laying flat on his back and she sat on his hips. With her bottom lip captured between her teeth she stared at him with hooded eyes. She didn’t understand how the beautiful Prince below her fell in love with her. Somehow he seemed to steal her heart and she didn’t even know how he did it.
“Why do you love me?” She asks softly. Her finger slowly tracing a circle on his golden skin. 
He knit his eyebrows together, confused by her question. “I feel like I could make a list of one thousand reasons why I love you.”
“I’m just some normal girl, you have had all of these beautiful women yearning to be with you and for some reason you fell in love with the average girl who is your assistant.”
Without a word he sat up so she was still sitting on his lap and he reached up and rested his hand on her cheek and stared at her for a long moment before saying, “I have never met anyone in my life quite like you. You are so beautiful and kind, and for some reason you put up with my bullshit. You’re the only person who can make me smile when my father has managed to piss me off. You’re also the only person in this universe that has made me want to walk away from everything. That crown means nothing to me if I can’t have you. My life meant nothing without you, and I can't imagine my life without you.”
Her eyes started to brim with tears and her heart swelled as he poured his heart out to her.
“I don’t understand what I did in this world to deserve you,” she smiled as a tear slid down her cheek.
Silently he wiped the tear off her cheek with his thumb, “I want to marry you so badly, and I want a life with you.”
“You do?” She couldn’t help but be shocked by his words. 
“I know I’m doing this all wrong and I should have a ring and get down on one knee, but baby will you marry me?” He asked.
Without a single word she took his face in her hands and leaned forward and pressed her lips to his for a  fevered kiss. 
Pulling away, Chan asked, “is that a yes?”
With tears sliding down her cheeks, “of course I will marry you.”
Chan rolled them over so she was laying on her back and he was laying on top of her as their lips moved together. They kissed for what felt like hours before Chan pulled away to remove his clothes, and (Y/N) sat up and removed her own clothing. Laying on her back completely bare she stared at Chan with lust blown eyes as he crawled back on the bed naked and proud. The sight of him naked always amazed her. He looked as if his body was made from stone, the polar opposite to her soft body. He rested between her opened legs as he kissed his way from her jaw down her neck and across her chest. Her eyes were closed as quiet moans passed her lips at the feeling of his lips on her skin.  
The deliciously slow thrust as he stretched her in the best way possible. Wordless gasps pass her lips. Her fingers clawed at his back holding him close as his hips rolled into hers. His strong hand reached for her soft thigh holding onto it as his hips continued to move into hers. Cries of passion left her lips as his lips were connected to her neck leaving a mixture of love bites and wet kisses.
“Chan,” she moaned as she held onto him tightly as her high washed over her. 
Her velvety walls pulled him in. No matter how many times they’ve been together, he’ll never get enough of her. 
His hips moved into hers over and over as he chased his own high, it didn’t take long before he hit his own high. He moaned her name as he rode out his high. He clasped on top of her panting. She wrapped her arms around him holding onto him tightly. 
Slowly he rolled off of her in fear that he was crushing her. As he stared at the ceiling as he reached over and laced his fingers with hers. His eyes were still closed and his mouth was opened as he tried to steady his breathing. She looked over at him and could help but smile at how beautiful he looked completely blissed out.
“I love you Chan,” she whispered.
Opening his eyes slowly he looked over at her, “I love you too, and sooner than later you’re going to be Mrs.Bang.”
Her eyes once again started to brim with tears as she stared at him. He reached over and pulled her soft body close to his. She nuzzled against his side, holding on tightly to him.
They laid in bed naked and cuddled for another two hours before their stomachs started to growl letting them know that they needed to get out of bed. They both got dressed and headed off to the kitchen in attempts to find something to eat.
(Y/N) started to cook them some chicken and grilled veggies. They sat at the kitchen table next to the large windows that overlooked the backyard. 
“What if we got married in this backyard?” Chan asked.
She couldn’t help but smile at the fact that he was already trying to plan their wedding.
“I will marry you anywhere you want,” she said softly.
“We don’t have to make it a whole big thing, like Changbin and Jisung could be there and maybe your cousins you’re close with.” In Chan’s head he thought that no matter what happened they were going to get to live this happy little life away from the palace.
“I would love that,” she reached over and rested her hand on top of his.
“I need to get you a proper ring.”
“Chan, I don’t need a ring,” she whispered.
“If we were at the palace I would have had so many different rings to pick from. My great grandmother had a beautiful emerald ring that I had always been told would be the future queen’s ring, and I do want to give you that ring…” he hesitated and looked over at her. “I feel like you deserve something more though.”
Her eyebrows knit together and gave him a soft smile, “Chan I don’t need some lavish ring.”
“I want to give you everything in the world,” he leaned over and pressed his lips to her temple.
“Being with you is everything in the world I could possibly want,” she said.
Before Chan could even respond both their hearts dropped at the sound of someone pounding on the door. (Y/N) thought it might be someone trying to break in, but Chan knew right away that they had been found.
“Stay here,” he whispered as he stood up slowly.
Walking quietly to the door he stopped at the sound of a familiar voice yelling, “Prince Chan I suggest you open the door right now.”
Chan’s heart dropped knowing that everything was about to change. The perfect little life that they had built away from the palace was about to come to an end.
“Prince Chan, if you open the door now your little assistant won't be jailed the moment we return to the palace,” the familiar voice yelled.
Chan suddenly felt sick at the fact that he might have put (Y/N) in danger by running away with her. His shaky hand reached for the door handle knowing that the moment he opened the door everything was going to change.
The sound of the heavy knocking once again let Chan know that everything was suddenly going to change for him and (Y/N). 
“Your Highness open the door,” the familiar voice shouted.
Chan reached for the door handle and opened it to find Daesung, his fathers head guard standing on the other side with about twelve men with him. Chan blocked the door so they couldn’t get inside without physically moving him.
“Where is the girl?” Daesung asked, leaning forward.
“You’re not touching her,” Chan seethed. He wasn’t going to let them get anywhere near her. 
“We won’t have to touch her if you willingly come home. Your father has said it's time to stop playing house and come home.”
The words cut him deep, because it meant his father was well aware of his relationship with (Y/N). Before he could even say anything he heard footsteps behind him letting him know that she had heard everything. He turned around to see her standing there with sad eyes that were brimming with tears.
“Are you leaving me?” She asked.
Shaking his head he said, “no it’s time for us to go back to the palace.”
Her heart ached at the thought this was the end of her and Chan. “I’ll go pack my backpack.”
She walked down the hall towards their room they shared as Chan stayed at the door. He looked back at Daesung and stated, “I’m going to help her pack and you will stay in the courtyard.”
Quickly headed off to their room they shared and found her crying as she was packing her backpack. Chan dropped down to his knees next to her and placed his hand on her cheek to capture her attention. She looked over at him as tears continued to fall down her cheek.
“This isn’t over for us. I’m going to fight like hell to have a life with you.”
“Are you sure that’s an option?” She asked with tears streaming down her cheeks.
“That’s the only option,” he smiled.
Chan quickly packed his bag and walked over and laced his fingers with (Y/N) and led her out of the room. They walked to the front door, which was the only thing blocking them from the Royal Guards. Chan paused and leaned over and connected his lips to hers for a passionate kiss. He held her face in his hands as their lips moved together. Pulling away he rested his forehead against hers and he whispered, “no matter what happens I love you, and we’re going to be together.”
“Okay,” she said softly.
He pulled away and squeezed her hand before they opened the door. They found Daesung standing in the courtyard with all the Royal Guards. Chan held her hand tightly as they followed the Royal Guard to the vehicles in the driveway. As they got to a black SUV Daesung placed his hand on (Y/N) her shoulder. 
“Miss you will be going in this car,” Daesung said.
Chan grabbed Daesung’s hand and removed it from her shoulder and seethed, “you won’t be touching her, and we will stay together.”
“Fine, your highness,” Daesung said with a chuckle.
Chan opened the door and (Y/N) slid into the backseat and Chan followed behind her. They buckled up and Chan put his arm around her shoulder and held her close to him as they started the long drive back to the palace. About thirty minutes into the drive back (Y/N) fell asleep leaning against Chan. He couldn’t even think about sleeping with the possibility that something could happen to the girl he loved. He looked up into the rear view mirror to find Daesung’s eyes looking at him.
“I hope she’s worth it,” Daesung said.
“I ran away with her, she’s obviously worth it.”
Chan had never loved anyone like he loved her, and he wished they never had to go back to the palace. In his perfect world they never would have had to leave that house. They could have lived the perfect quiet life together. 
“I sure hope so, because your father is furious.” Daesung was never a man to sugar coat anything.
Looking down at the girl who was sleeping against him, Chan knew that every moment they were able to spend together was worth it. No matter what his father said to him it was all going to be worth it. They arrived at the palace late at night. Daesung and the rest of the Royal Guards stood outside the black suv watching as Chan and (Y/N) got out of the car hand in hand. Chan informed them that he would be taking her to his quarters and after he knew she was safe he would speak to his father. 
They walked through the palace silently holding hands. As they entered Chan’s room (Y/N) sat down on the edge of the bed and let out a yawn and rubbed her eyes. As she stared at him for a long moment her eyes started to brim with tears.
“Why are you looking at me like that baby?” He asked, walking towards her.
“Why do I feel like this is the last time I’m going to see you?” Her lip started to quiver as a tear slid down her cheek. He dropped down on his knees in front of her and reached up and swiped his thumb across her cheek brushing away the tear.
“I’m not going anywhere, baby. Don’t forget you agreed to marry,” he gave her a smile as he was attempting to stay strong.
“You promise me that this isn’t the end?” Reaching up she rested her hand on his cheek.
Nodding his head he whispered, “I’m going to fight like hell for us.”
“Okay.” 
Standing up he leaned down and pressed his lips to her forehead. His warm eyes stayed locked on her for a long moment. He was terrified to leave his room at that moment. His heart started to race and he felt sick to his stomach as he walked away from her. Standing at the door he turned back at her to find her sad eyes were locked on him.
“I’m going to lock the door. Don’t let anyone else into the room other than me.”
Walking out of the room he looked down the hallway and found Daesung waiting for him. Shaking his head he followed him as he led him towards his office. He wanted to roll his eyes at the fact that his father was waiting for him. Daesung opened the door and he looked over at his fathers desk that was sat under the large window and found his father sitting there with a glass of whiskey and a book sitting in front of him. Silently Chan made his way over to the seat in front of his fathers desk and sat down. They sat there together in complete silence for about a moment when his father sat his book down and looked up at Chan with a look of disappointment.
“Oh look Romeo finally came home.”
Chan bit his tongue trying to not make a snide remark.
“Were you at the summer house?” His father asked before taking a sip of his whiskey.
“Yeah,” Chan said, speaking for the first time.
“Do you even realize that you have a job that you just can’t run away from?” His fathers eyes narrowed on him. “Do you realize how selfish your actions were. You’re going to be the future king of this country, you can’t just abandon your people because of some working class girl,” his fathers words were pointed as he glared at his son.
Chan realized right then that his father knew about him and (Y/N). He felt sick knowing that he put her in danger by having her run away with him.
“How long have you known about her?” Chan asked not to bothering to even respond to anything else his father had said.
“For a while now, why do you think I insisted on you marrying the Duchess?”
Chan took a deep breath trying to calm down. He was furious that his father was aware of his relationship, and that he directly tried to sabotage it.
“I don’t want the crown, and I sure as hell don’t want to marry the duchess,” Chan felt as if his ears were ringing. He was furious with his father and he felt as if his blood was boiling.
“Son, I don’t think you realize you don’t get a say in this,” the King slammed his fist down on the table startling Chan.
“I don’t want anyone other than her!” Chan shouted back at his father. “I’m a grown man and you know what you don’t get to control me. I get to choose how I live my life and with whom I live my life, and if you don’t like that find someone else to be the future King.”
The King stood up and turned around to face the window. Silently he stood there looking out into the dark garden. The silence between was so loud, and skin felt like it was on fire as his blood boiled with anger.
“You would throw away everything in your life for some below average women,” his words were meant to hurt his son.
“You do not get to speak about her like that. You are such a sad bastard.  So wrapped up in your ego that you don’t even care about who makes me happy,” Chan didn’t even bother holding back he was hurt by his fathers words and mad.
“You have no respect son,” his father turned back to face him.
“I had respect for you, but you don’t have respect for me. I don’t understand what is so wrong with me loving her and wanting to be with her.”
His father stared at him for a long moment as if he was processing everything his son had said to him.
“She’s fired by the way.”
“Why are you so threatened by her?”
“She is not meant to be a part of this family. She’s a normal woman, you need to marry someone with status.
“I love her and that’s all that should matter,” Chan stood up from his seat. “But you know what father, I don’t care if you approve of us being together. I’m going to marry her with or without your approval. I already asked her to marry me, and promised her that I was going to spend the rest of my life with her.” Nothing or nobody was going to stand between him and the women he was in love with.
His fathers eyes narrowed on him, “you proposed to her?”
Slowly Chan nodded his head, “father I have never loved anyone like I love her. My world doesn’t exist without her, and if you can’t accept that I will be stepping down right now.”
The king sat down for a long moment and stared at his son almost in shock of what he had just heard. Chan took his father’s silence that he was accepting that he was turning down the crown. Turning on his heels he walked for the door. 
As he reached for the handle his father spoke again, “you really think she’s worth throwing your life away for?”
Looking back at his father he nodded his head, “father I love her so much. Those three weeks I spent with just the two of us were the best moments of my life.”
His father brought his glass of whiskey to his lips and took a big drink of the brown liquid. Sitting the glass back on the table his eyes stayed locked on his son who was still standing at the door.
“If she’s going to be your fiancée in the public eye she can’t work for you.”
Chan’s eyes went wide as he took in what his father had said to him. He pushed his fingers through his hair and took a deep breath, “does this mean I’m still the prince?”
Slowly his father nodded his head, “she is a nice girl the public will like her.”
“Thank you,” Chan said before opening the door.
The moment the door was shut Chan took off running down the hall towards his room. As he approached the door the pound quickly on it telling (Y/N) to answer the door. With a yawn she opened the door. She wasn’t even able to ask him anything before he pressed his lips to hers for a rough kiss. His strong hands held her face as their lips moved together. His lips moved away from hers and started kissing his way across her jaw. 
“Did things go okay?” She asked as his lips ghosted her skin.
“I’m sorry I’m going to have to fire you,” he said with his lips gliding across her skin.
Her eyes went wide and she pushed him away from him, “what?”
“Well if you’re going to be the future Queen you can’t be working for me,” he smiled.
She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. She was caught off guard by what he had just said to her. Sudden tears started to slide down her cheeks as she stared at Chan who was grinning like a fool.
“I told him I was going to give up everything for you, and that I have never loved anyone like I love you.”
Lounging forward she wrapped her arms around his torso and connected her lips to his for a searing kiss. They kissed for what felt for hours when Chan pulled away, “I need to get you a ring tomorrow.”
“Okay Your Highness,” she smiled.
“I thought I said not to call me that,” he said as he held her face in his hands.
“Well as your future Queen I feel like I’m allowed to call you that,” she smirked. “I’m exhausted.”
“Let’s get some sleep baby girl,” he reached down and took her hand and led her towards the bed. They both stripped away their clothing until they were down to their underwear and they curled up in bed next to each other. With her laying on her side and Chan holding her close she couldn’t help but smile that she was going to get to be with the man who had stolen her heart forever.
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@bangchansworld @marsophilia @liz820 @rindomo @changlix-mp4 @weebintheinternet @impossibleprofessorpartyzipper @seocpb @straykisz @satan-ismos @moonbaescribbles @questiontotheanswer
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treasurethelittlethings · 15 hours ago
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MAKE IT WORK - JAMIE X CLAIRE
CHAPTER FIFTEEN IS NOW LIVE: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31022585/chapters/81804361
Single Da Jamie Fraser and single mother Claire Beauchamp, are thrown together by the fate of the universe - meeting for the first time in the Headmaster’s office...
Will they be able to stay away from one another?
Or, alternatively - Your child punched mine in the face and now we’ve both been called to the Headmaster’s office. I wanted to be angry at ye, but ye’re bairns actually quite sweet and ye’re fit as fuck.
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lexosaurus · 2 hours ago
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Going Angst Week 2021: Instinct
Read: [1: birth]
Warning: Ghost Hunger
---
Ectoplasm was poisonous to humans. Danny knew that, it was one of the first things his parents had drilled into him when he was a kid.
If humans ingested small amounts of ectoplasm, they’d be sick but would likely be fine the next day. If they ingested large amounts of ectoplasm, they’d be rushed to the ER to get their stomach pumped, and if they didn’t make it there in time, they’d die.
Danny had accidentally eaten ectoplasm-infused cookies enough times in his childhood to be able to taste it’s gross battery-acid flavor. He’d felt enough stomach cramps from his mother’s cooking before Jazz insisted that they install a second fridge in the lab to store their samples inside of to know how much the human body hated the substance. 
Ectoplasm was poison. Period.
So then why was it that when he stared down longingly at the carnage before him, did he want nothing more than to dip his hand into the delicious pool of green and scoop it into his mouth?
He knew he should leave—his parents would be arriving soon—but as he stared down at the unfortunate remains of the giant ectoplasm mosquito on the pavement, all he could think about was how hungry he was and how sick he’d been all week and this was it, this was the thing that would cure him, he just needed to reach down...
Danny shook his head in disgust. He was still partially human, he couldn’t just eat ectoplasm. 
But he was so, so hungry.
Nothing he’d eaten in the past week had satisfied his hunger. No, this was something else. Something that originated deep down in his core. No human food could fix this, he knew that on instinct.
Ectoplasm was poison.
But he was starving.
Danny closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. This wasn’t the first time he’d gotten these strange cravings. They’d been happening ever since he learned how to shoot ghost-rays with his hands. 
At first, it was easy to ignore. Just a twinge of his stomach here, a slight watering of his mouth there. Little annoyances, but nothing he couldn’t blame on exhaustion or academic stress.
But lately, the hunger had been getting worse. Just looking at a pool of ectoplasm made his heart skip a beat, and the sight of an entire ghost mosquito carcass was enough to make him want to collapse in relief.
He needed to do something. Leave. He couldn’t stay here, he was going to lose it. 
God, this was horrible. He was disgusting for even entertaining the idea.
Danny glanced back at the mosquito. Its core had smashed somehow during the fight, allowing its fresh ectoplasm to pool onto the pavement before it. The sun was setting, and it was hitting the fresh green in just the right way.
“Shut up,” Danny snapped. He wasn’t some feral vampire, he was Danny Phantom. Amity Park’s local ghost protector. He wasn’t just going to…
He glanced around. No one was here, and no one was passing by on the street either. Maybe he could afford just one little taste…
...just one…
...no one else had to know…
...he just needed to reach down and…
His fingers brushed the cool liquid, and as if he were shocked he jolted up, pressing his back into the brick building behind him and breathing hard. 
That was close. Too close. He needed to get out of here quickly before he lost control.
But as he stared back down at the gooey carcass, it was as if a trance had overtaken him. His mind fogged up, and all his worries and stresses seemed to melt away.
The only thing he knew was that he was starving, and there was food. 
Danny crouched down over the mosquito and shyly stuck his hand back out over the glowing pool of liquid. He hesitated, as if there were still some part of his mind that was trying to resist when he knew that he just needed to chill out, Danny. It’s okay. Trust yourself.
He was a ghost. He knew what he was doing.
Closing his eyes, he dipped his hand into the ectoplasm. He shuddered, allowing his hands to explore the cool liquid. It felt...nice. And his hunger seemed to yell louder until he couldn’t ignore the voice in his head goading him to eat the ectoplasm, just eat it, eat the ectoplasm, eat the food.
He brought his hand up to his mouth, and it was as if something inside him shorted out. 
His brain switched off, all thoughts left his body. The only thing that mattered was the ectoplasm, the food, his hunger, god this tasted so nice. 
His world was green, and that was all he needed.
---
“What’s wrong with me?” Danny cried. “Why can’t I stop?”
His hands were plastered in ectoplasm, and he could feel the sticky substance dripping down his suit, threading in his hair, smearing across his face.
“Well, isn’t it obvious?” Vlad said, hardly looking up from his paperwork on his desk. “You’re starving yourself.”
“But—but I don’t…” Danny collapsed in a chair and buried his head in his hands. 
“Daniel, really. I thought you were better than this pointless drivel.”
Danny shook his head. In a muffled voice, he whimpered, “Please, just tell me how to make this stop. I—I can’t stop. Please. I don’t want to be this monster.”
Vlad sighed and set down his pen. “Halfas have unique biologies in that due to the nature of our deaths, we have naturally powerful cores. The more powerful the ghost core, the more self-generating ectoplasm they can produce for their bodies, which then can offset any ectoplasm lost through daily functions. Like blood cells. Except, if you use more ectoplasm than your body can produce, it starts looking for other ways to replenish it. Typically for ghosts, the ambient ectoplasm in the Ghost Zone would do. But in the human world, there isn’t enough ambient ectoplasm for us to use, so we starve until our core takes matters into its own hands.”
“So, what. I have to move to the Ghost Zone? I don’t understand. Do you get like this?” Danny lifted his head up to see Vlad massaging his temples.
“Well unlike you, I’m not a complete moron who lets themselves get to the point where they can no longer control themselves.”
“But I don't want to do this! I don’t want to...to eat other ghosts.”
“Then don’t.” Vlad stood and yanked Danny through the floor and into his lab. He shoved Danny into the corner of the room. “Clean yourself up. I won’t have you dripping used ectoplasm all over my clean floors.”
Danny hung his head in a mixture of shock and shame as the hot water from the decontamination shower sprayed down on his body, washing the green stains from his suit onto the floor and down the drain.
Meanwhile, Vlad flitted around the lab, wasting no time in between plucking various tubes and files from their shelves to simultaneously berate Danny. “Really, Daniel, I know you’re an idiot but even you can’t be this appallingly stupid. There are many ways to consume ectoplasm that don’t involve tearing the cores out of your adversaries. Of course, if you continue to insist on being a toddler about your different biology then I have no doubt you’ll be back in this sorry state sooner than you can imagine.”
“Please, just tell me what to do.”
Vlad pulled out what appeared to be glowing green lettuce. “These are ectoplasmic vegetables. They grow in the Ghost Zone. I tend to prefer them with a nice cherry vinaigrette and paired with a glass of dry chardonnay. Do you understand, Daniel? The Ghost Zone is a parallel of the human dimension. If there are plants in the human world, there will also exist a variation of those plants in the Ghost Zone. You find the right ally, and you have your dinner.”
Danny stared dumbly at the plant. He’d only been to the Ghost Zone once before, when he was terrified his parents were getting divorced. And that trip had left him too scared to even think about going back.
“Where do you get yours from?” Danny asked.
Vlad put the lettuce back in the metal refrigerator. “Skulker. You know, my lackey? You may have heard of him.”
“Right.” Danny furrowed his brows. He couldn’t ask Skulker if he could have some of the plants—the ghost wanted to kill him. Again.
But he didn’t know anyone else who had ecto-plants either.
“I don’t know where I’d get them. I don’t know any ghosts.”
“Well, that seems like a personal problem.”
“Please!” Danny begged. “There has to be another way. I don’t know anyone! I can’t do this again. Please, Vlad.”
The true question was hidden underneath. But Danny knew what Vlad was going to say, and judging by Vlad’s vicious smirk, Danny’s assumptions were correct.
“Maybe if you stopped fighting your true nature, you wouldn’t have to beg for my food like a pathetic child.”
“Vlad, I—I don’t know what to do.”
Vlad transformed into his ghost form, his eyes glowing a harsh red against the dim light. “You may be a human, but you’re also a ghost. It’s time you started acting like one.”
He could feel it. His core, taunting him from under his skin. Telling him to give in, just trust it, trust his instincts.
But he couldn’t do it. He was scared, he didn’t understand why his instincts were telling him to act certain ways and do certain things. Why were the emotions of his friends and family suddenly so important to him? Why did he feel so compelled to play protector to the town? Why did he have to try to be so normal around Sam and Tucker?
Why couldn’t he go too long without transforming into his ghost form? Why did it feel like an addiction that was impossible to break?
What was wrong with him?
Give in, just give in. 
“I can’t.”
“You have to, Daniel.”
“But if I do that…”
“Then you’ll finally be admitting the truth of what you are. Why is that so wrong?”
Because I’m a ghost, ghosts are evil, ghosts are wrong, they shouldn’t exist, ghosts and humans don’t mix, ghosts are cruel creatures, they’re selfish, they’ll only act in their own self-interest.
But that was what his parents had told him. Was that true?
Did he know anything about ghosts?
Not really. Except for one, crucial thing:
Ghosts were different. 
Danny Fenton couldn’t be different.
---
<previous / next>
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jjmbanks · 11 hours ago
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the days after • jj maybank
jj maybank x reader
summary: in the days after the disappearance and death of john b and sarah, jj is nowhere to be seen. when he’s ready, you know where he’ll be.
warnings: marijuana use, mention of death
word count: 1.1k
author’s note: no spoilers for season 2, realistically this happens right at the end of season 1/beginning of season 2 i guess?
check out my masterlist  •  requests are OPEN!
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No one knew where JJ was.
In the hours after John B’s disappearance, he slipped away from your group despite the storm pummeling the island. 
If JJ were to turn up, you knew where he would be. You didn’t expect him to be there now, so early after the announcement of John B and Sarah’s death. However, you knew that you would never be able to rest without knowing, without trying to find him.
It was an old dock on the west side of the island. The sun set over the mainland to the west as you drove towards it, and you could faintly see the houses and buildings glittering as their lights came on.
The dock was empty, but you parked and walked out onto it anyway. You sat down on the end, the wood soft beneath your legs. Shifting your weight, you pulled out the packet and opened it, retwisting the end of the joint you had rolled earlier, and took it between your lips. You had to use your hand to shield the flame of the lighter from the winds that whipped across the water between the two landmasses.
“John B, JJ, come back.”
You didn’t realize my thoughts escaped my mouth as a moan. You felt your bottom lip quivering, and staunched your emotions by putting the joint back up to your mouth and drawing in a breath.
It didn’t take long to get to a nice level of high. With the butt of your lighter, you pinched out the joint, saving the other half for tomorrow.
Your right hand rested on the worn wood, above a heart with four letters engraved inside of it. JM + YFN/YLI. You couldn’t help but smile at the memory -  when JJ and you were here, stoned out of your minds. You had been hiding your relationship from the others at the time, but just wanted to put it out there somewhere. This dock is where you told each other about your feelings for each other. Where you had your first kiss.
It was your safe spot.
When JJ decided he could face reality again, this would be the spot he would come to.
--
It took him four days.
Every night at sunset, you went to that dock. You smoked a joint – sometimes half of one, sometimes a full one – and sat and stared at the lights across the sound.
On the fourth day after John B’s death, you were sitting there, as usual. It was chilly, so you brought a blanket you usually kept in the car for bonfire nights. You wrapped yourself in it, holding the joint, staring across the sound and watching the sunset when JJ sat down next to you.
Wordlessly, you passed it to him, and he took it. You didn’t press him for information, even though you wanted to. There was nothing more you wanted than for him to tell me he was okay, for him to wrap his arms around you and promise that everything would be fine.
It was all about letting JJ make the moves. That was something you had come to learn. If you forced him into something – a situation, to say something, to do something – he could lash out. Not intentionally, of course, but you had come to be able to understand his emotions without asking about them.
You could tell how he was feeling by the way he carried himself. By the way he spoke and move. How his eyes looked, how his jaw was set. JJ, one of the most emotionally closed people you knew, was really an open book; you just needed to know how to read him.
Tonight, he sat without speaking. His eyes weren’t on you, but on the lights across the sound. The dark bags under his eyes told you that he hadn’t been sleeping. His tense jaw and sparkling blue eyes told you what you needed to do next.
You took the joint from his fingers with your right hand and with your left, you brought the blanket around him and pulled him towards you.
JJ’s body heaved in a sob at your touch.
He curled up on the dock, his head and shoulders in your lap, his arms gripping your waist for dear life.  You gently rubbed his back with the tips of your fingers, making small circles. You felt his hand close around the bottom hem of your shirt, hooking a finger in a belt loop of your shorts.
JJ cried until he couldn’t cry anymore. Eventually, he just laid in your lap, facing my stomach.
You had never seen him more broken. Whenever you had something happen that shook the group JJ would normally lash out, not retreat. He was overly emotional, violent, and angry.
This side of him was new. You waited for him to speak, for him to breathe normally and deeply. At one point he closed his eyes, and you gently tucked a stray clump of hair behind his ear. You ran my thumb down his temple, and he let out a small sigh.
“Can I stay with you tonight? ‘M tired of being alone.”
His voice was quiet, rough from disuse, his words spoken without conviction.
“Of course, J,” you murmured. You took this as a sign that it was okay to bend over and kiss the top of his head. His hair was greasy, not having been washed in several days. “Let me know when you’re ready, okay?”
“I just need another minute,” he said quietly, and you could feel his now-loose fist gripping my shirt tighten. “I just need another minute here, with you.”
“You got it.” You kept running your fingertips over his back. His shirt was thin and worn, several tattered holes in the back from your adventures over the years.
Half an hour more passed before JJ let go of your shirt and pushed himself up. He looked almost childish as he rubbed his eyes and looked at you. His hair was messy and falling all over his face, his eyes puffy, his nose runny, giving you the smallest, saddest smile you had ever seen.
Then, he leaned in and kissed you.
It was desperate. His lips held onto your bottom one briefly, as if to say, don’t you dare leave me. You put a hand on his waist, reciprocating his actions, and after the kiss was over we sat for a few moments. Your foreheads were pressed against each other’s, breathing and staring into each other’s eyes.
“I’m ready,” he whispered. You just nodded and he said, “y/n?”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t ever leave me.”
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miracleonice87 · 10 hours ago
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for you, my dear @kerwritesthings 💐 from the 800 followers celly prompt list
this one is set after the ‘21 season (damn l*ghtning). just over 2k words (now you see why these take me forever, bc I am apparently incapable of these things called “blurbs” lolol next time I’m doing fewer than 8!)
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Night after night you fall asleep on me / I'm prayin' that I don't go back to who I was (Deserve You, Justin Bieber) - Mathew Barzal
Mat had never allowed himself to grow attached to anyone the way he’d grown attached to you in the past eight months. And if he was honest, that vulnerability scared him to hell and back.
And so when the Islanders exited the playoffs in dramatic fashion for the second year in a row, but only the first since you had come into his world, Mat did what he always did after a devastating season-ending loss — he shut down, ignoring that you were now a part of all of this, too. Blocking out the knowledge that you were waiting in the wings to comfort him and show him that he wasn’t alone under the heaviness of the burden weighing on him. He told himself that he didn’t want to put this pressure on you, didn’t want to bother you with the overwhelming sense of disappointment and failure that began to eat away at him as the seconds ticked down on the clock and really took root when the Isles walked away from the ice emptyhanded, yet again.
Your “I’m so proud of you, baby” text went unanswered, as did your singular FaceTime call in the wee hours of the morning when you knew he would have already been home from Tampa. The brunch you DoorDashed him the next morning from your favorite spot on his block was delivered without any thanks from Mat, and that was when you decided to let him be, at least for now.
Because you dealt with your own heartbreaks in a similar way, and you knew firsthand that it was better to let him sit in it for now and come and find you later, than to press, as gutwrenching as it was knowing he was so close by, and yet so far away from you — all alone, nearly drowning in his self-doubt and insecurities.
Sleep didn’t come easily to you that night, nor had it the night before following the game. The next morning, you woke with a heavy sigh, the ache in your chest only growing sharper the longer you went without speaking to Mat. You dragged yourself to the kitchen to make your coffee in an attempt to shake off the fog, and you nearly jumped out of your skin with anticipation when your phone buzzed on the counter nearby, but the bubble burst when you saw the name of your boyfriend’s best friend on screen instead of his own. You picked up the phone anyway, thankful for the sweetness of the man who was calling.
“Hi, Beau,” you answered softly. “How are you?”
“Hi, ma chérie,” he said, more chipper than you’d anticipated — no doubt partially in thanks to his lovely new girlfriend who was sure to be easing his own grief over the season’s abrupt end. “I’m okay. At least, uh, trying to be. How are you?” he asked, obvious concern laced in his tone.
You pursed your lips, unsure of how to respond.
“I… I dunno,” you said, leaning your elbows against the counter. “I’m okay. I’m just… worried.”
Beau huffed loudly on the other end.
“So, he still hasn’t called you?” he asked, and unexpectedly, a lone tear fell down your cheek. You swiped it away with your wrist and sniffled.
“No,” you said softly, popping your jaw and attempting to steady your breath.
You heard what sounded to be Tito covering the speaker with his hand, his muffled words, presumably to Emma, unintelligible.
“Come over to my place later, let’s say 3 o’clock,” he said firmly. “I have an idea.”
_____
You should have guessed — could have guessed.
When you walked into Tito’s condo, Emma greeted you at the door with a tight embrace, brushing a kiss to your cheek before pulling back and pressing her index finger to her lips, then pointing toward the balcony situated on the far side of the living room. There, you spotted Tito, leaning against the railing and overlooking the city, a beer bottle nestled between his palms.
Next to him was Mathew, assuming the same position.
You gave Emma a soft smile as she patted your back, nodding as she gestured toward the balcony. Your heart raced as you followed her prompt, watching the gentle breeze pick up strands of Mat’s dark hair. Your mouth went dry as you stood motionless in the open doorway.
What the fuck were you going to say?
For now, you settled for the obvious — “hi,” in a voice barely above a whisper — and Mathew turned around, wide-eyed. His playoff beard had been shaved off, replaced by a five o’clock shadow that had grown in its place since his exit interview — which you had reluctantly watched with an unsettling, churning feeling in your stomach. His eyes were faintly bloodshot, dark circles rimming them, and his long hair fell haphazardly around his face, not neatly slicked back by his usual post-shower gel. The man who stood before you was only a shell of the bright, confident, optimistic man who had left for Tampa earlier that week.
“Baby,” he breathed, a question and a relieved greeting all rolled into one. You offered a reserved smile and slowly took a few steps forward out onto the balcony. Tito gave you a brief side hug and pressed a kiss to your temple.
“Thanks for coming,” he mumbled into your ear before stepping away. “I’m going inside. You two just… take all the time you need.”
You nodded, nervously tucking hair behind your ear as Tito gave you an understanding look and pulled the sliding glass door closed behind himself.
You took up the space he had left empty, a good four feet from where your melancholy boyfriend stood. You felt his eyes stealing glances at you as you looked out across the skyline, still trying to come up with something intelligent to say to the broken man beside you.
Instead, to your great surprise, he spoke first.
“I’m so sorry,” Mathew said, cautiously stretching out his hand to wrap around both of yours, clasped on the railing before you. Your eyes fell to his hand before traveling the route to his face. His apology was not only hanging in the air, but etched into every detail on his face. “I know I did the wrong thing — I fucked up. I shut you out. I never should’ve shut you out, baby.” His voice cracked over those last few words, and without hesitation, you closed the gap between the two of you, gathering him into you. His tall form seemed much smaller than it truly was as he rested his head on your shoulder, his face buried in your neck, his shoulders and spine hunched as his breathing became unsteady. You quietly shushed him, dragging one hand up and down his back as you used the other to rub soothingly at his scalp.
“I forgive you, Mat,” you said quietly. “I’m not gonna say it’s okay, because we both know it’s not, but… I forgive you. You’ve never had to sit in these feelings with another person. And it fucking sucks and it’s so hard. But you know what? That’s what I’m here for. I don’t want just the good games, the ones where you score a billion points and we go celebrate after. I want the shitty ones too, where you feel mad and sad and frustrated after. You’re there with me when I’m having all of those feelings. I just wanna be there with you, too... if you’ll let me.”
Mat drew a shuddering breath and pressed a soft, chaste kiss to your neck before standing upright and enveloping you in a long embrace, his arms holding you warily, as though he thought you may just disappear. It must have been several minutes before he spoke.
“I feel like I don’t deserve you,” he admitted abruptly, his brutal honesty forcing your eyes open as he sighed heavily. “Like, why should you stay with me? After what I did… why should you put up with that?”
Slowly, you looked up, your brow furrowed at Mat’s questioning which, from his tone, you could tell had come from the place of deep-seated insecurity and fear of his world crumbling around him. He didn’t visit this place often, only when things weren’t going well, only when the pressure was too much and he envisioned it all crashing and burning right there in front of him.
And so you knew it was time to truly reassure him, to anchor him, to tell him the one and only reason you had turned the other cheek and decided to stick around when he had tried to push you away.
“Because I… I-I love you, Mathew.”
He seemed to stop breathing then, the only movements of his body the astonished blinks of his weary eyes.
“Y-you do?”
You nodded, resting your hands on his waist.
“I do. I really do.”
Mat wasted no time then, gathering you back into himself, but this time standing tall, cradling your head to his chest as he dropped sweet kisses into your hair, your presence and your admission empowering him and already mending the cracks in his soul, in his being.
“I love you, too,” he told you quietly, a soft smile pulling at the corners of his lips — the first one he’d worn in days.
You hugged him close, your hands smoothing over the wide expanse of his back, before you lifted your face to look into his.
“I love you, which is why I need you to communicate with me — to be honest with me,” you pleaded softly, clutching at his soft white t-shirt. “You know?”
With a sniff, Mat nodded, running a hand over your hair as his shoulders fell again, but only slightly.
“I will. I want to, especially now,” he said. “When I get in my thoughts sometimes, I just… I dunno, it’s hard for me to believe I’m the person you think I am. The person that you’re telling me now that you love.”
You pressed your hands against his back, pulling him as close as you possibly could.
“You have already shown me exactly who you are, Mathew. And it isn’t the person that you’ve been these last few days,” you said. “That person is just sad, and scared, and hurt, because something really shitty happened to him. And I get it.”
He offered a grateful nod and kissed your forehead tenderly before reaching for your hand, staring down at your intertwined fingers as his lips lingered along your hairline.
“I need you more than I let you believe I do,” he mumbled against your skin.
You reached to smooth your hand down the back of his head and rest it on the nape of his neck, gazing up at him.
“That’s okay, Maty,” you assured, your brows creased, determined to convince him that everything he was feeling was okay. “You know why?”
You felt Mat shake his head. Tears stung your eyes as you pushed up on your toes and hugged his neck.
“Because I need you, too,” you whispered.
After a seemingly stunned pause, you finally felt Mat’s arms wrap tightly around you, holding you the way you were used to — firm, solid, steady, sure. You stood in his embrace for quite some time, content to hold on and be held onto.
Finally, Mat broke the silence that had settled over the moment.
“Don’t let me go,” he whispered.
With his head tucked in your neck once more, your hands slipped down his back and up again, sliding beneath his shirt, desperate to have him as near as could be.
“Never,” you assured.
_____
Late that night, after sleep had found you at last, Mat lay awake in his bed, tracing his fingertips along your bare arm. As he ghosted a kiss to your forehead, your eyes fluttering in deep, needed slumber, he counted his blessings that you loved him — you fucking loved him — when he least deserved it. And he prayed to the powers that be that he would never again make the same mistake of holding his true self back from you.
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filmnoirsbian · 4 hours ago
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I need 31 people to send me a word (just one word, not a phrase) and I'll write a poem for each day in August 💌
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somewhatsomelikepoetry · 5 hours ago
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I know you think I didn’t love you because I didn’t say it often or I wasn’t overly affectionate. But I show love through actions, through watching your favourite comedian for the 60th time and reading your newest book obsession even though I hate to read. But as you said, sometimes love just isn’t enough
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