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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 7 months

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Ace, Lilia: Be Not Deceived

OH???? 👁️ One of the paintings in the background is the Ace of Hearts card soldiers… Does this mean we’ll get to see the actual character inspos for each boy, even the obscure ones like Jack and Sebek??? Will we finally solve a 3+ year long mystery??????? 🔍

… Also, not Ace casually wanting to go to karaoke with Scar 😭 (Funny, cuz he was denied hearing L*ona sing during Endless Halloween Night.) Figures that Ace would be the best at singing of the first years, the others are just no competition…

A Tale as Old as Time.

Not every work of art had a seriousness about it. In fact, Ace preferred to ogle the sillier pieces, finding solace in the nonsense and the chaos of them.

Hands shoved into the pockets of his finely tailored slacks, he found himself entranced by a bed of oysters. They were pried open, one half of their shells propped up to resemble bonnets. Their fleshy, round faces were still drowsy from sleep.

Little babies, the whole lot of them.

“My, you’ve taken quite an interest in that painting. I wouldn’t have expected it of you.” The remark came from Lilia, who curiously peered over at Ace from one side. “Have you an interest in oysters?”

“Nah, can’t stand’m. Especially raw,” he replied. “I was just thinkin’ of something I heard from back home."

“Oh?" Lilia’s large eyes glittered with a keen interest. “Now this I must hear.”

“It’s not really that interesting.” Ace shrugged. “A walrus dressed up in a suit to wine and dine a bunch of oysters—but the punchline is, instead of being taken out to dinner, the oysters are the walrus’s dinner! We have a Walrus-brand oyster sauce in the Queendom of Roses that gets its name from that story."

“Kufufu, I see! What a fascinating origin," Lilia mused. "It's a cautionary tale to not trust strangers. It brings to mind warnings to be wary of wolves in sheep’s clothing.”

"I guess so? The walrus looked nice at first glance, but he basically robbed a cradle. Seriously, who'd actually go and kidnap a baby like that? It’s just an exaggerated story to scare gullible kids into acting straight.”

Lilia's mouth adopted a mysterious, knowing smile.

"Oh, you'd be surprised!" he chuckled softly. "You never know when a big, bad monster might come in the night to steal you away from your family."

There was an eerie intenseness behind his every word, the magenta of his irises darkening to match. A shiver bolted down Ace’s spine. Lilia, too, was a creature of that very night that threatened to consume him.

"Y-Yeesh, you're freakin' me out, Lilia-senpai” Ace jokingly shoved his upperclassman. His fear had been fleeting, easily chased off with a laugh. “Don't say scary stuff like that. Halloween isn't for like another whole month!"

“Oopsie~ Perhaps I’m a little overeager.”

“I’ll say.” Ace rolled his eyes. “Sometimes I forget how weird you can be.”

“What, you don’t think someone as adorable as me could possibly be capable of committing a war crime or two?” Lilia grinned. “I’m not entirely innocent, you know.”

“You definitely wouldn’t be able to pull off any war crimes though!! You just act way different than your looks would suggest.” Ace rapped his knuckles on the wall beside the framed oysters. “Like the lying walrus.”

“Do you think I’m a lying walrus?” The question was teasing.

“Everyone is. There’s plenty of them in Heartslabyul too.” Ace counted off on his fingers.

“Loosey Deucy comes off like a straight-laced honors student, but he’s an ex-delinquent and dumb as a rock. Cater-senpai looks flashy and friendly, but he’ll trick you into doing his chores and leave you hanging. Trey-senpai’s got his weird teeth hobby… and then there’s Riddle-ryocho, who has a babyface but throws fits like an active volcano!!

“The Great Seven had parts of themselves that were surprising too. No one would think the King of Beasts would be the type of guy to be belt out a song, but he still did. That’s what moved the hyenas to join his cause. It just goes to show that you really can’t judge a book by its cover.”

"A good takeaway from the tale," Lilia agreed. "Taking the morals of a story to heart... you're very clever, Ace."

"The cleverest." He cheekily stuck out his tongue.

The knowing smile suddenly returned to Lilia's face. "I'm sure you have a wicked side to yourself as well. As you've said, we all have a bit of the lying walrus in us."

"No way, miss me with that. I’m the poor, helpless victim,” Ace grumbled, rubbing at his neck. It had stiffened considerably at the memory of his skin chaffing. “Haaah, if only I wasn't bullied so much by my dorm leader~"

"By Riddle?" Lilia smirked a little. "His temper is rather infamous. Silver and Sebek are his club mates. I've heard of Riddle's rage.”

"Dude, you don't know the half of it. He's always nagging me one way or another, and if I don't listen... BAM!

"'Off with Your Head'!!" Ace scrunched up his face in a show of pretend anger and pantomimed casting a spell by wiggling his fingers. The voice he adopted was elegant, yet arrogant—a replica of Riddle's. "Now you sit there and think about what you've done, Ace! The collar comes off when you've repented."

He fell back with a groan, Lilia's amused chuckle accompanying him in the otherwise quiet museum.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up while you still can."

From the corner of his eye, Ace spotted the oysters again. The entire bed, a colony of easily deceived infants. Unaware of the world and its eager, snapping jaws—the jaws of a well-dressed walrus.

“Guess a smile and a snazzy suit is all it takes to get people to waltz right into a trap, huh? With the right looks and attitude, even a villain can be made to pass as a hero.”

Ace tugged at the silver sash slung across his torso, drinking in the details of his luxurious platinum suit. A bow tie, a vest, a jacket with trailing coattails. Shining fabric, pure and unblemished.

He was all dressed up, with nowhere to go. Only lies to tell.

“You make for a good hero,” Lilia offered, “with that winsome charm and cheer of yours. Ah, but that’s not all. It never is. These old eyes can’t be deceived.”

“Whaaat? I can’t believe you’d side with Riddle over me. I’m being unfairly ganged up on here!! Aaah, my senpai are so mean to me…!”

His laments echoed off the cavernous rooms of the museum. Mere whining of a high school boy against the backdrop of great figures and illustrious history.

He was small, one little white lie against a sea of them.

“… Juuust kidding.”

Ace turned away, a wink thrown playfully at the painting of the oysters before their very doom.

As if anyone would believe that.

#Ace Trappola #Lilia Vanrouge #twisted wonderland #twst #twst imagines #twisted wonderland imagines #disney twisted wonderland #spoilers #something no one asked for #Ace birthday takeover #twst scenarios #twisted wonderland scenarios

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blackaleycatt · 2 months

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Random Wild Kratts Headcanons: Megan Thee Stallion Songs

Songs that I think the characters would like or songs that represent them because I love Megan.

Y'all better stream Hiss!

Martin: Ungrateful

Everyone knows that Martin is a nice man. Even the villains know it.

Sometimes it seems like he's a little too nice tho. Like the villains definitely take advantage of it.

Martin can be a nice person but when you mess with animals, his friends, or his brother he can become a different person.

I think the lyrics “Y'all actin' really ungrateful, I'm sparin' you hoes” represent this.

I feel like he could be a lot more violent towards the villains but chooses not to.

Basically, he is sparing the villains despite everything they have done to the team and the villains are “ungrateful” because they constantly act the same way.

Chris: Savage

His sassy attitude fits this song well.

It doesn't matter if it's a villain or his own brother. That lil sassy attitude is always gonna be there.

I feel like he would actually call himself a savage after listening to this song.

“Been that bitch, still that bitch”

And he literally is. Not only has Wild Kratts been around a long time, but Chris has been iconic since Kratt’s creatures and Zooboomafu have been around.

Koki: Plan B

This song is about Independence and having a high self-worth.

Koki definitely has all of that.

She's technically a minor character but she leaves a big impact on the team and the show in general.

Also, I feel like a lot of the time she’s the team's “Plan B” meaning when there's a problem that the boys or Aviva can't fix she has to step in.

Usually involving the miniaturizer because they never listen when she tells them to keep up with it.

She’s like the only other person on the team with a fully functioning brain cell.

Jimmy: Hot Girl Summer

This was THE summer song so you know Jimmy was listening to it.

Probably says “It's hot girl summer” every year to Aviva and Koki.

The chill vibe of the song matches his personality.

I can see him lounging in the sun bobbing his head to this song.

I don't really have a deep reason for why this song is for him, it’s just chill.

Aviva: Hiss

Hiss blew up because it was a diss track calling out basically everyone in the music industry.

I feel like this fits her attitude towards Zach specifically.

Like she seems like she wants to say “Fu*k you” to him so badly.

Based on the “Mystery of the Weird Looking Walrus” episode Aviva seems to be a very observant person and knows a lot of tea about people.

Like how does she know what Zach eats every day and how many toes he has on each foot 💀.

And she was able to guess his password easily on the first try.

Basically don’t piss her off or she will air out ALL of your business, like she did with Zach.

Also, I feel like she listens to Megan when she’s angry.

Donita: Megan's Piano

If feel like she's also a Megan stan.

This song is her anthem.

One thing about Donita is she is gonna let you know that she is NOT poor and she works hard for her money.

Like she’s the hardest-working villain besides Gourmand.

Donita is a self-made queen.

Girlboss.

She likes this song because it reminds her that she's better than everyone.

Every time Chris and Martin come around she mentions wanting to give them a makeover and drags them for their fashion choices.

Definitely says “Sorry, hoes hate me 'cause I'm the it girl”.

You can't spell Donita without “it” after all.

Gourmand: B.I.T.C.H

I don't think he would actually call someone a bitch (he's southern-raised, he has some manners) but the vibe of the song fits him.

I think he would like the lyrics “You know you can't control me, baby, you need a real one in ya life.”

Gourmand is kind of like Zach in the sense that he does what he wants whenever he wants.

Hence why you can't control him.

He’s not like Donita who would use animal substitutes in his profession (the fake spider silk) no matter how hard the Kratts try to convince him.

He does what he wants and you can't control him.

He's also very straightforward with his feelings.

If he doesn't like you he’ll let you know.

Zach: God's Favorite

Zach relates to the song based on the title alone.

He truly believes that he is favored and highly regarded.

Him being the “favorite” could be a general feeling or a reference to how he feels about Aviva and her inventions.

He doesn't see himself as equally matched to her or anyone. He sees himself as the ultimate person basically, even above the other villains.

Despite his incompetence, he is still rather skilled in some things and successful.

The lyric “Here's a toast, who you love the most?” is also him talking about himself since we all know who his favorite person is.

I feel like he would listen to this song to boost his confidence.

#Spotify #megan thee stallion #wild kratts #wild kratts headcanons #wild kratts chris #wild kratts martin #aviva corcovado #wild kratts aviva #wild kratts jimmy #wild kratts koki #wild kratts donita #donita donata #gaston gourmand #zach varmitech #wild kratts zach #chris kratt #martin kratt

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rogertaylorshbb · 11 months

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"I am the walrus" roger Taylor x reader fanfic

summary- you work with queens producers, but you and roger cant stand each other and just really hate each other. one day your in the studio listening to music when roger walks in, you and roger then begin to bond a bit. *unedited*

this isn't smutty or anything, I think its just like a cute bonding moment between y/n and roger.

"move!" you shouted for the third time at roger who was in your way. '"calm down! I'm moving alright! Jesus could you be anymore inpatient" roger shouted back as he dramatically jumped out of your way.

"roger, having to work with you is like working with a 5 year old, trust me, I'm always patient with you" you said walking backwards to face him before beginning to walk out the studios door. "yea yea whatever" roger scoffed as he looked down at some photographs.

queen at the moment was recording killer queen, at first you didn't really like it, but the more the boys worked on it the better it became. as you were sorting through some random keyboards someone practically dragged you towards them. it was Freddie. "come on! I'm pretty sure we just got the perfect take of killer queen!!" he squealed dragging you into a room.

he began to play the recording to you. and it was perfect. no doubt. "woah....Freddie- I- that's- incredible? I- I don't know what to say..." you stuttered shocked by the unbelievably good song. "haha, don't say anything darling!! I know its perfect!!" he laughed smiling.

"haha, your right fred" you said smiling back "anyway, where are the others..". "oh I'm pretty sure they all just left for home" Freddie shrugged "and, saying that, I probably should too..wanna ride?" Freddie said and he got up. "oh no thanks, ill probably clean up a bit here, this place doesn't clean its self, ill see you tomorrow!" you smiled. "well, okay, bye bye!!" Freddie waved closing the door behind him.

you began to clean up for a bit, making sure there wasn't any trash around. after walking around picking up about 3 dozen coffee cups you huffed and sat back down on the couch. you turned your head to see the records. "oo, don't mind if I do.." you chuckled walking over to them. looking through the records you found some good ones. then you found your favorite. the Beatles- magical mystery tour. "oh yes!" you cheered picking it up.

you placed it on the record player, and began to listen. as you were listening to your absolute favorite on the album, I am the walrus, someone walked in. "ayy, whos playing that" roger walked in with a big grin "oh you..." his grin faded into a confused and disgusted face.

"what are you doing here?" you questioned. "what? am i not allowed to be here?" he questioned back. "no just- Freddie said you all went home" you rolled your eyes and began to just listen to the music again. "I was just out playing some tennis, thought id get some exercise". "didn't ask" you smiled.

"so..you like this song?" he raised an eyebrow putting a hand on his hip. "yes. Its one of my favorite songs" you nodded. "hm, at least there's one good quality about you". roger smirked. "hm?" you glared at him. "your music taste, I mean".

he sat down next to you, acting more friendly then usual, it was creeping you out. "why are you acting so weird...stop it" you shook your head and chuckled. "like what?" he cocked his head. "um nice?" you answered.

"huh, well, I'm not sure, anyway, what's your favorite part of this song?" he questioned. "haha, uh, you know the part where its like, 'mister city policeman sitting, pretty little policemen in a row" you thought singing it out. "yea! I love that part too!!" roger chuckled.

that's pretty much how the rest of the 5 hours you and roger spent with each other were. turns out, even though you both hated each other, you both loved the same music. you both sat on the floor looking through records and playing music. anytime there was a sad or soft song you and roger would sit there quietly. anytime there was a loud or fun song you and roger would dance around like a bunch of monkey's, just jumping around the place.

"hahahaha, you- you know what we should- play- next" roger huffed out of breath from jumping around to 'back in the U.S.S.R' "what" you huffed your face all red". "oh shit" you laughed in remembrance before roger could say anything. "what?" roger chuckled. "its super late, I should be getting back home now". "do you really have to go?" roger leaned his head back. "sadly yes" you laughed.

"fine" roger grinned. "ill see you tomorrow i guess". "haha yep, and I think tomorrow will be the first day i look forward to seeing you, you made me hate you less today" you smiled picking up your coat. "haha, I hate you less too y/n" roger laughed.

#roger taylor imagine #queen band #roger taylor #roger taylor fan fic #roger taylor smut #queen fanfiction #queen smut #roger taylor x reader #x reader #fanfic queen

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be-the-creature-fan · 2 years

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WILD KRATTS

SEASON 1 (Part 1)

One sentence review and will receive a score from 1 (worst) to 10 (best) Hope you enjoy :)

Mom of a Croc: Solid first episode, but HOW ARE THEY NOT DEAD FROM STARVATION!?!?!? 9/10

Whale of a Squid: It was an alright episode, I'm surprised that the colossal squid died on screen, I thought it was cool. 8/10

Aardvark Town: It's Zach's first episode and he falls into a pool of crap, amazing and it's a great villain introduction 9/10

Flight of the Draco: Chris dealing with the aftermath of a near death experience while Martin gets kidnapped by a crazy fashion designer and somehow manages to teach people about Dracos *Chef's kiss* (Also Chris sucks at video games) 10/10

Mystery of the Squirmy Wormy: The "DON'T DRY ON ME" moment will always live in my head rent free both in the cartoon and live action segment (also WoRmS dOn'T dRoWn!) 8/10

Platypus Cafe: Canablism, you know for kids! (Also A Kratt Brothers experiment reference, there is just too much to say about this episode, its just too amazing) 10/10

Polar Bears Don't Dance: The story part was good, but the animation was an oof (though there are some animation stuff I did like in this episode like Zach's facial expressions and the shadows and how the animation flowed) 6/10

Build it Bever: Destroyed a entire habit, for a canoe paddle ( I know it was an accident but still) 7/10

Voyage of the Butterfly XT: How on earth did it take 4 months for Donita to find Mexico and how did the Kratt Brothers stay asleep for that long without starving? 8/10

Honey Seekers: Chris just wanted breakfast and somehow lost a villain fight even though he had one of the toughest CPS ever and it never gets used again, HOW?! 8/10

Bass Class: RULE NUMBER 1 ZACH DOSN'T CARE!!! Also No fishing at the spawning grounds 8/10

FIreflies: Dabio took so long to get the Glowrious Gown pun? (A true blonde moment) (if your a blonde please don't get mad at me) 7/10

Mystery of the Weird Looking Walrus: Attempted Murder, Blackmail, Chartreuse, Loving the Zach Lore. 8/10

Tazzy Chris: Zach's villain backstory, the humor is on point and Chris still has that metal pipe in his digestive system. 10/10

Octopus Wildkrattacus: Martinlostthesuitacus and Chrisletsgofindanewspiesesacus being a inconvenience for Aviva for half an hour. 8/10

Walk on the Wetside: I don't care what the show said, Martin was walking on water for more than 6 seconds. 7/10

Elephant in the Room: R.I.P Jimmy's Sandwiches. 9/10

Let the Rinos Roll: Toodles first and so far only appearance (he needs to return) and why does Zach not utilize the human disguise for his Zachbots anymore? (Also Chris is a parkour master) 10/10

Kickin it with the Roos: Hipster being a little crap to the Kratt Brothers who almost died trying to get those keys back only to lose the Cretera at the end 8/10

The Blue and the Gray: Tree powers must really suck. 8/10

#wild kratts #kratt brothers #chris kratt #martin kratt #why am i doing this #please help me #wk season 1

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wildwormies · 2 years

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Whatcha think about the episode “mystery of the weird-looking walrus”? There was one scene near the end that kinda scared me when I was a kid (angst potential?)

You mean the scene where the bros nearly drown bc Zach freezes them over like my ass with frostwalker boots in minecraft? Classic. It holds a special place in my heart and is my #1 moment to point to where Zach attempted murder

And like? The little snow globe thing itself?? Mans could solve global warming and said he’d rather get bullied by furries

Anyway fun ep, love Donita’s outfit, might snip it soon

#wild kratts

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marinerainbow · 6 months

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//So I'm thinking in the Mermaid!AU every human (and maybe Jessica Rabbitfish) is a merperson in this world and all the toons are sea creatures. Roger is a rabbit fish, Baby Herman's a grumpy puffer, Benny's a stingray or eagle ray, the Toon Patrol are eels. I think only Jessica is the one toon I would say to make a mermaid in this and even then the merpeople are half aquatic so her and Roger being together shouldn't be that weird. Also, genius, you coming up with her lower half as a lionfish that's perfect! Imagine her singing in an underwater cavern and her fins are like fans that add to her "dress." The rest of the toons are tropical reef fish, sharks, octopuses, crabs, lobsters, rays and various anemones and nudibranchs!

Also I think Eddie would be named Edmar and in his past he was a sort of undersea mediator, like a detective who complies and upholds with the laws of merpeople. He has a walrus or maybe sea lion's tail and was having quite a nice time living on an island near the surface before he was called down to the depths again. He hates actually going down there...a deep sea fish killed his brother. His seal wife Delores comes to bring him food and accompany him and try and coax him back into the water but to no avail. Until a rabbit fish comes looking for help. A fish has murdered a merman. Not hunted him...murdered in cold blood. This is very serious. So Edmar has to brave his fears and venture down there to help solve the mystery.

I love all of this! Especially how you included Eddie and Dolores. I'm an absolute sucker for content of those two being the couple ^^

I also like how Benny is a stingray/eagle ray! Kinda like Mr. Ray from finding Nemo. Maybe he let's the little fish ride him ^^ and I definitely want to see Baby Herman puff up in iritation XD

Also Jessica being a mermaid too despite being a toon is actually kinda genius. While making the film, to make sure all the actors would be able to look like they were actually looking at toons and not just air, they made little dummies of the toons. Except for Jessica, who had a human actress stand in her place. So Jessica did have a shot at being a human technically XD and here, she's a mermaid right along side the rest of the merfolk.

#asks #WFRR #who framed roger rabbit #Mermaid AU #eddie valiant #Delores #Jessica Rabbit #Roger Rabbit #Baby Herman #Benny the Cab #Disney #disney heros

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jokerislandgirl32 · 1 year

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favorite wild kratts episode/s?

and, as a bonus, favorite episode/s that don’t feature zach?

Haha, you know me, I would have only listed Zach episodes had you not specified. I am so sorry it took this long to get to this ask, but I’ve been thinking about it, and I enjoyed writing this up!

You can read the rest below the cut, fair warning, it is long, lol!

Favorite Episodes Featuring Zach

Quillner’s Birthday Present

Quillber’s Birthday Present is such a fun episode. We get some decent Zach art, learn he’s got a wart problem (no judgement!), and he’s forgetful! He forgot to charge the Zachbots and this leads to nearly a whole episode of him doing things by himself. Yes, he’s stealing animals, but he’s taking the initiative to do things himself, without complaining! And his mood is super chipper the majority of the episode, which is very enjoyable for a change. It makes me wonder if he enjoys being self-sufficient (but that’s another post for another day).

Shadow: The Black Jaguar

Shadow: The Black Jaguar was the first Wild Kratts episode I ever saw. Way back in March of 2021 I was watching this episode with some students in a class I was subbing for. I just clicked on it for them, and…the rest is history! One of the kids kept talking about Zach, “why does his plane have a V on it? Zach starts with a Z” (good job, 1st grader, you know your letters, lol).

And of course the fangirl in me focused in on the whiny man to try and figure out why the plane had a V on it, but then I saw his interactions with Shadow….and his good looks, whiny and charming antics, and affinity for cats (sorry, he’s a cat guy, even if he won’t admit it) won me over. This episode also has a lot of fun scenes with Aviva and the bros. I love the scene where Martin is trying to activate the power suit to become a Black Jaguar, and the little slide of hand to replace Shadow with the bunny toy: excellent.

Mystery of the Weird Looking Walrus

Mystery of the Weird Looking Walrus is another favorite of mine, if not my all time favorite, and yes, this is partially for the trench coat, but not entirely, haha! In this episode we get so much information about Zach: his favorite color, his extra toe, his favorite person, his favorite number, his preferred foods per day….so much canon content for the fangirl! We learn that Zach’s an overeater, and the villains know him for becoming ill from overeating. So, it’s a canon moment where his reputation is tarnished even among his closest peers, and maybe it’s wrong, but I love it, it sort of gives another level of humanity to Zach for me.

Zach also uses his Instafreeze device in this episode. Any episode where Zach uses non animal powered inventions are awesome in my opinion. They show Zach’s true potential as an inventor: he can craft inventions from his own mind, he does not need animals to create wonderful inventions. And finally, I love all his interactions with Donita. The man spends an entire episode trying to please her…this shows how much he values her as a person and adds yet another level of humanity to Zach that is usually overshadowed by all his “me me me” nonsense.

Favorite Episodes Not Including Zach

The Great Froggyback Ride

As for favorite episodes that do not involve Zach, my first go to is The Great Froggyback Ride. I’ll be honest, the reason why: ROYGBIV. For personal reasons I connect to this episode: I love all the colors of the rainbow and rainbows are very important to me as a symbol of hope and rebirth. So, the amount of color used in this episode just caught my attention, that scene where Chris is dancing and his suit is changing colors makes me feel awe, lol. Also my grandpa’s name was Roy, so, anything with Roy in it is excellent in my book.

Voyage of the Butterflier XT

Another episode I like, for the message in it, is Voyage of the Butterflier XT. Butterflies are one of my favorite creatures, hands down, and they also stand as another symbol of hope and rebirth for me, and that’s kind of the message in this episode. The caterpillars hatched out of their eggs, munched on oodles of food, made their chrysalises, and transformed into butterflies that made made the long trek to another country just for the sake of laying their eggs and restarting the life cycle. This show that while life may be short for some animals, all animals have a purpose to fulfill within their lives. Maybe it is morbid, but it’s a positive way to view life and death, and I appreciate the way the Kratt Brothers addressed this difficult topic, especially so early on in the series.

Sooo this was super long, but I truly enjoyed it, kudos to all who read until the end, lol!

#wild kratts #wild kratts fandom #wild kratts episodes #favorite episodes #zach varmitech #wild kratts zach #wild kratts martin #wild kratts chris #aviva corcovado #donita donata #love zach varmitech #ask box #nice asks #thanks for the ask!

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hornime · 3 years

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voyeurant | kenma kozume x f!reader

he tentatively wrapped a palm around the shaft, shuddering at the contact, his eyelids fluttering shut. god, i’m such a pervert, thinking about her like this. she’d hate me if she knew i saw her like that, knew that i was touching myself thinking about her tits...

warnings: 18+, timeskip!kenma, kinda dubcon, kenma’s unintentionally pervy, male masturbation, poorly written video game content (i tried my best), mutual pining but u both are oblivious

w/c: 1.5k

a/n: yes, the title is a shitty pun of valorant. no, i will not be changing it. also this tiktok about timeskip kenma made me giggle so pls enjoy.

voyeurant: part one ↓ | part two | part three:

“fuck, i hate this map,” kenma grumbled into his headset.

your voiced chimed in his ears. “is it ascent?” you turned to see his face on your screen, pinched in annoyance. “ha, it is ascent. sucks for you.”

“which one are you on? haven?”

“you know it,” you chuckled. “your favorite.”

“i hate you.” he weighed his options, did he really want to play this game? the layout of the world made it irritatingly hard to strategize, and today’s losing streak was making him more agitated than usual. with a sign, he closed the application. “fuck this. i’m gonna go piss.”

“yeah, yeah, you’re such a big baby. and...” you released your mouse, throwing your hands up in triumph, “we just won. at this point, i’m gonna outrank you.” you were joking, of course. kenma wasn’t just a gamer, he was kodzuken, one of japan’s best pro-gamers, and you were just someone that played as a hobby. but it was always fun to tease.

“hmm,” he hummed. “i’m sure you will.” he turned his head to look directly at his webcam, smirking, “in your dreams.”

“ooh, catboy’s getting feisty!” he flinched at the nickname. “go pee so i can beat you at your best.”

he obliged, pulling his headphones off and looping them on the top of his chair. he casually raised his middle finger at you while smoothing out strands of his hair, prompting a series of profanities to escape your mouth, none of which he could hear. he chuckled playfully as you responded with two middle fingers of your own, before moving out of the camera to get to the bathroom.

you and kenma had met in an... interesting way, to say the least. after going moderately viral from lashing out at him for refusing to heal you in a game of overwatch—while he was streaming—the two of you reconciled over a twitter thread and exchanged gamer tags. since then, you’d struck up an easygoing friendship, characterized by almost nightly discord calls and occasional flirting. but we’re just friends, you often reminded yourself. and you were fine, well, mostly fine, with that.

tonight was like any other night: both you and him spending hours in a video chat with nothing better to do than mindlessly play games and bash each other. it was more than enough to strengthen your relationship but fell short of giving you the romantic tension you craved.

with kenma off in the bathroom, you, already bored, spun wildly in your chair. forgetting that your earbuds were still plugged in, the white wire caught on an opened can of coke sitting on your desk, spilling the sugary drink all over your keyboard and the front of your shirt.

“shit!” you quickly scrambled for paper towels, but the still-connected wire yanked you backwards. in your haste for something to wipe the soda with, the fact that your camera remained on in the video call completely slipped your mind. making the split-second decision that the trip for a towel wasn’t worth it at this point, you quickly whipped off your shirt, dabbing the keys with the part that was still dry. since you were home, you’d gone braless, and your current predicament had you flashing your webcam.

now, kenma had seen a lot of things from your side of the call: he’d seen you get chewed out by your residential advisor for being too loud, you with two sticks of pocky poking out of your mouth like walrus tusks, and you doing random cosplay moves you’d seen on tiktok. what he wasn’t expecting to see, not even in his wildest dreams, was a screenful of your tits, slightly damp from the cola that had seeped through the fabric of your long-gone shirt.

he stopped in his tracks, still out of the frame of his camera, eyes wide and heart racing, desperately trying to calm down and prevent the gradual hardening of his cock in his pants. unable to deny his desires, he continued staring at your plump breasts on his computer, you completely unaware that he could see you.

you quickly threw your soaked top in the laundry basket before throwing on a random sweatshirt and trying to calm your frazzled nerves. you tentatively touched your keyboard, groaning internally when you fingers lightly stuck to the buttons. it’s gonna take forever to clean this, you mourned.

“hey,” kenma mumbled, reappearing on screen and shaking you out of your thoughts.

“hey.” you noticed his flushed expression. “are you okay? you look really red.”

“uh, yeah. i actually uh, i feel kinda sick. so i’m gonna, gonna go.”

“oh, okay.” why’s he acting so weird? “feel better!” you disconnected from the call with a huff, disappointment morphing your face into a pout. well, you thought, better get to cleaning.

kenma, on the other hand, was still, swallowing as the bulge in his boxers became agonizingly hard. though the only thing left on his screen was his reflection staring back at him, the luscious view of your bust was etched in his mind. his hands moved to free his cock, the tip an angry red and smearing pre-cum over the waistband of his underwear.

“fuck,” he whined, slowly stroking up and down. his thighs trembled as he fell back into his chair, mind wandering. he couldn’t stop himself, his thoughts become more and more lewd, fantasizing about how your breasts would bounce as he thrusted into you, how your thighs would wrap warmly around your head as he ate you out, how you’d cry out his name so prettily when he made you squirt around his fingers.

it was all too much, and as the circle he made with his fingers tightened as he reached his tip, he lurched forward, alarmed at how good everything felt just by thinking about you. i can’t cum, i can’t, the small part of his brain that wasn’t completely overtaken with pleasure tried to reason with him. there’s no going back if i—shit—if i cum. she’ll know, somehow, if i—if i cum, i—

the ecstasy kept clouding his judgement and his body worked against his mind as his hand pumped faster and faster while his conscience screamed to stop. his wrist wetly slapped the base of his cock, the sounds of both his hands and his moans getting too loud for comfort, but all he could think about was you. your eyes, your mouth, your chest, your legs, your ass, your pussy. god, he wanted to be in you so badly.

he couldn’t hold back, his insatiable need to cum overriding his senses, and the translucent liquid twitched out of his throbbing cock in spurts, drenching his fist and his balls. “fuck, fuck, fuck. i’m—fuck.”

he collapsed against the back of his chair, chest heaving with the sheer intensity of his orgasm. he combed a hand through his hair, the consequences of his actions now weighing heavily on his shoulders. i’m never gonna be able to look at her in the eyes again, he lamented. how am i ever gonna—damn it.

the sudden ping of a notification had his eyes raising from the mess on his pants towards his computer screen.

meanwhile, you were messaging kenma, a little off-put by his sudden radio silence but chalking it all up to his mysterious sickness.

[11:05 PM] you: hey ken! hope u feel better

[11:05 PM] you: if u get the chance u should check out what i added to our minecraft house. its perfect for sick victorian orphans like u

[12:14 PM] you: guess

[12:05 PM] you: guess

[12:05 PM] you: why arent u responding

[12:05 PM] you: guess

[12:05 PM] you: ok u got me ill tell u

[12:05 PM] you: its a hot tub

[12:05 PM] you: but with soup

[12:05 PM] you: but the soup is lava

[12:05 PM] you: genius right

[12:06 PM] you: anyway get some sleep and feel better <3

[12:06 PM] you: lmk if u wanna play animal crossing

[12:06 PM] you: actually no u should sleep. rest ur eyes and shit

[12:06 PM] you: no animal crossing for u!

[12:06 PM] you: sleep well so i can destroy ur ass in val tmrw

[12:06 PM] you: >:)

he sighed as he read your one-sided ramblings. he really liked you.

and he really wanted to fuck you. lucky for you, you wanted the exact same thing.

if only kenma knew what you did on the other side of the screen, hands in your undies and his name on your lips...

>> part two

#i have never played a game of valorant in my life #for someone thats only watched their friends play i think this is pretty decent #like wtf is ascent idfk #kinky.inky #haikyuu smut #haikyuu! smut #kenma smut #kenma kozume #kozume kenma #kenma x you #kenma x reader #tw.dubcon #kenma

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valhahazred · 3 years

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Cryptid Mythos bonus! Everything that appears on this sheet is an entity reported by real people. Why no Mythos this time? Because these encounters are so strange in appearance or behavior that they could slip right into the Sothic multiverse with little to no alteration or alternative explanation. Good luck Investigators!

All Colours Sam In 1973, in the town of Sandown, 7 year old “Fay” and an unnamed friend encountered a very strange individual as they explored the fringes of a golf course. They first became aware of something weird going on when they heard a sound like an ambulance siren in the distance. Following the sound to a footbridge over a creek, the two children were confronted by a three fingered hand wearing a blue glove that beckoned them from beneath the bridge. Awaiting them was a seven foot humanoid figure wearing strange clownish clothing, seemingly reinforced with wooden slats that protruded from his sleeves and pant-legs. The figure had a book in his hands, which he immediately fumbled and dropped in the water. He splashed around cartoonishly before recovering his book, leaping out of the creek and away from the children. He moved to a small metal shed with a high-kneed hopping gait and disappeared inside. The children went to leave, only for the mysterious entity to exit again with a microphone that appeared to be the source of the wailing that drew the children in the first place. It spoke into the microphone in a friendly, non-threatening tone. “Are you still here?” The children were curious and unafraid, so they moved towards him. He held up his book and pointed at the words in order to introduce himself. “Hello and I am all colours, Sam”. They asked if he was human and he said no and when asked if he was a ghost he replied, “well, not really but I am in an odd sort of way.” The children asked what he was then and he simply said, “You know.” During their conversation with the entity they learned that although he went by Sam, he didn’t really have a name, he claimed that there were others like him and that he was afraid of humans and that he was a pacifist, refusing to harm others even if they should attack him. He invited them into his hut, where he shared some wildberries and showed them a magic trick, where he placed a berry into his ear and seemingly teleported it to his mask’s eyehole and then to his mouth with quick jerks of his head. They continued to converse for almost an hour before the children decided to leave. Was he an alien in a make-do disguise? An animated scarecrow? A figment of childish imaginations? Or just a strange homeless man dressed like a clown? Whatever the truth, All Colours Sam, also known as the Sandown Ghost Clown, was never seen again. The Crazy Critter of Bald Mountain This weird looking creature was sighted by three people in the week following a fiery object that passed over the Bald Mountain near Newaukum Lake in Washington. When the local Sheriff began an investigation into the sighting he was visited by heavily armed and uniformed men who claimed to be from the Air Force and forced him to give up the case. Old Saybrook Blockheads Mary Starr was awoken in the early morning on December 16, 1957 by a bright light shining into her bedroom. She looked out the window to witness a 30 foot cigar shaped craft hovering over her yard, less than 10 feet from her house! Inside the apparent spaceship she witnessed a pair of small creatures with fleshy skirts and clear cubic “heads” containing a floating red bulb. They raised their right arms and as a third entity appeared in the portholes the ship brightened before shooting off into the sky. Space Brains of Palos Verdes As John Hodges and Pete Rodriguez were leaving a party at two in the morning they were not expecting to meet anything from out of this world but as the car turned on its headlights illuminated two bizarre entities! The men panicked and drove away, ending the story for Rodriguez as he made it home with no complications. However, in Hodges case he next became aware of himself two and a half hours later in the driveway of his home, sitting in the car as if in a trance. Troubled by the missing time, he eventually went for hypnosis in an attempt to recover his memories of the night. While under regression he claimed that while he got his friend home safely, when he returned to his own residence the disembodied brains were waiting for him! He asked them what they wanted and suddenly he was elsewhere, in a dark room with entities that looked like the classic Greys but very tall and with webbed six fingered hands and yellow eyes. They explained that the brains were “merely translators” used in order for these beings to interface telepathically with humans. He claimed they warned him that Earth had “too much power” and showed him a map of the planet covered in lights that indicated places where humans might destroy themselves. They showed him images of dead planets and made several inaccurate prophecies before he suddenly found himself back in his car. Unlike many other abductees with similar experiences Hodges did not try to make excuses for their bunk predictions or feel like it made him important in any way. He simply assumed the aliens were untrustworthy and were playing with him. The Casa Blanca Entities This is one of the strangest and most confusing accounts of a Close Encounter of the Fifth kind, as eight children ranging from the ages of four to fifteen were terrorized by a parade of extraterrestrial monsters one summer day in 1955. It started with an array of UFOs, sun-like, disk-shaped and semi-transparent, appearing and disappearing with musical pings. Then came the entities. First was a ghostly being bearing a shiny belt buckle that was so brilliant it could blind someone looking straight at it. It was followed by disembodied arms in riveted armor that seemed to beckon to the children, small strange men that used dual ray guns to paralyze and finally a many limbed creature. All through this strange arrival something spoke to the children telepathically, offering to take them away. The kids they spoke to often seemed to be entranced, moving to the dancing UFOs mindlessly and required physical force or even being hosed down to snap them out. One child even fell off a roof in an attempt to reach a UFO, only to be protected by a red force field. The weirdest part of all is that not only did adults not see anything, they couldn’t. Despite being present for the event a mother of one of the children was unaware of the paranormal happenings. Does this mean it was all in the children’s heads, as they were overtaken by some kind of playground hysteria? Or is there some alien force that not only wants our children but can make themselves invisible to undesirable observers. The Garson Invaders In 1954 three of these insectoid entities appeared to Canadian miner Ennio La Sarza. Their appearance was already exceptional by the usual standards of reported alien contact but in a particularly striking detail their faces appeared to glow in colours La Sarza had never seen before! The beings asked La Sarza to do something for them but he refused, not only to do it but to even speak of it. It was so awful and “outright apocalyptic” that he even considered asking the RCMP to lock him up in case the creatures he’d met had some way to enforce his cooperation. The Poole Pyramid This multi-hued metallic pyramid appeared in 1965 to seven year old Terrence Druce of Poole in Dorset when he awoke to it hovering over the foot of his bed. He shrieked in terror, waking his younger brother in time for him to also witness it as it faded into thin air. That encounter might have never been recorded if the brothers hadn’t seen it again the very next day, lurking in a parking lot. They said it seemed aware of their presence and turned to watch them but it did not follow them when they decided to flee the scene. Delta Dogs An anonymous woman was driving through a snowstorm on route 07 through Syracuse in January 1958. She came across what at first seemed to be a downed plane but as she approached her engine slowly ran itself down and the car stopped itself. As she desperately tried to restart the car the snowstorm calmed and more details became apparent. Projecting out of the large object she’d thought was a plane crash was a 50 foot illuminated pole. Two strange beings rose up along the pole, floating by it as it started to retract. When the pole finished sinking into the object the creatures disappeared and the craft took off so fast she couldn’t make out where it went. The Electric Serpent of Tacoma This is easily the most unusual sighting of a sea creature that I’ve ever heard of. Seven men camping on the shore of Black Fish Bay in 1893 encountered a sea monster that appeared to be cybernetic, if not entirely biomechanical! Disturbed by a horrible noise and blinding lights the men left their camp to find a huge, hairy walrus-like animal with steaming horns, bands of coppery metal and a revolving propeller-like tail! One of the men approached it to get a better look, only to be struck by an electric blast from its copper bands and fell to the ground as if dead. When one of his friends tried to pull him to safety, he was likewise shocked by the impossible animal. The other men fled into the woods after seeing two of their number seemingly killed and the Electric Serpent seemed to lose interest and swam out into Puget Sound. Once they were sure it was gone the remaining men returned to the beach and were elated to find their friends burned and stunned but still very much alive! So what happened? Was it just one of the sadly common newspaper hoaxes of the time? Or did a bunch of 19th century fishermen find a literal fucking pokemon? You decide! Stickmen The Stickmen are an extremely recent phenomenon, with reports starting within the last 10 years or so. They are described as being stick thin and roughly humanoid, sometimes with bubble heads, glowing eyespots or even top hats. They range in size from human-like to towering in excess of 20 feet. What is most interesting about them is their apparent two dimensionality, sometimes appearing the same no matter what angle they are viewed at and sometimes being able to turn to the side and vanish as though they were never there. They are also frequently reported as being accompanied by a feeling like static electricity and of aggression or hostility. Despite those impressions the Stickmen do not appear to be hostile, instead seeming surprised and immediately retreating from a witness.

#call of cthulhu #cthulhu mythos #cryptids #eldritch #aliens #monsters #sandown ghost clown #all colours sam #The crazy critter of bald mountain #Old Saybrook Blockheads #Space Brains of Palos Verdes #The Casa Blanca Entities #The Garson Invaders #The Poole Pyramid #Delta Dogs #The Electric Serpent of Tacoma #Stickmen #my art #cryptid mythos

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rockislandadultreads · 3 years

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Criticism & Literary Interpretations

A Swim in a Pond in the Rain: In Which Four Russians Give a Master Class on Writing, Reading, and Life by George Saunders

For the last twenty years, George Saunders has been teaching a class on the Russian short story to his MFA students at Syracuse University. In A Swim in a Pond in the Rain, he shares a version of that class with us, offering some of what he and his students have discovered together over the years. Paired with iconic short stories by Chekhov, Turgenev, Tolstoy, and Gogol, the seven essays in this book are intended for anyone interested in how fiction works and why it’s more relevant than ever in these turbulent times.

In his introduction, Saunders writes, “We’re going to enter seven fastidiously constructed scale models of the world, made for a specific purpose that our time maybe doesn’t fully endorse but that these writers accepted implicitly as the aim of art—namely, to ask the big questions, questions like, How are we supposed to be living down here? What were we put here to accomplish? What should we value? What is truth, anyway, and how might we recognize it?” He approaches the stories technically yet accessibly, and through them explains how narrative functions; why we stay immersed in a story and why we resist it; and the bedrock virtues a writer must foster. The process of writing, Saunders reminds us, is a technical craft, but also a way of training oneself to see the world with new openness and curiosity.

A Swim in a Pond in the Rain is a deep exploration not just of how great writing works but of how the mind itself works while reading, and of how the reading and writing of stories make genuine connection possible.

A Little Devil in America: Notes in Praise of Black Performance by Hanif Abdurraqib

A stirring meditation on Black performance in America from the New York Times bestselling author of Go Ahead in the Rain At the March on Washington in 1963, Josephine Baker was fifty-seven years old, well beyond her most prolific days. But in her speech she was in a mood to consider her life, her legacy, her departure from the country she was now triumphantly returning to. “I was a devil in other countries, and I was a little devil in America, too,” she told the crowd. Inspired by these few words, Hanif Abdurraqib has written a profound and lasting reflection on how Black performance is inextricably woven into the fabric of American culture. Each moment in every performance he examines—whether it’s the twenty-seven seconds in “Gimme Shelter” in which Merry Clayton wails the words “rape, murder,” a schoolyard fistfight, a dance marathon, or the instant in a game of spades right after the cards are dealt—has layers of resonance in Black and white cultures, the politics of American empire, and Abdurraqib’s own personal history of love, grief, and performance. Abdurraqib writes prose brimming with jubilation and pain, infused with the lyricism and rhythm of the musicians he loves. With care and generosity, he explains the poignancy of performances big and small, each one feeling intensely familiar and vital, both timeless and desperately urgent. Filled with sharp insight, humor, and heart, A Little Devil in America exalts the Black performance that unfolds in specific moments in time and space—from midcentury Paris to the moon, and back down again to a cramped living room in Columbus, Ohio.

The Dark Side of Alice in Wonderland by Angela Youngman

Although the children's story Alice in Wonderland has been in print for over 150 years, the mysteries and rumors surrounding the story and its creator Lewis Carroll have continued to grow. The Dark Side of Alice in Wonderland is the first time anyone has investigated the vast range of darker, more threatening aspects of this famous story and the way Alice has been transformed over the years. This is the Alice of horror films, Halloween, murder and mystery, spectral ghosts, political satire, mental illnesses, weird feasts, Lolita, Tarot, pornography and steampunk. The Beatles based famous songs such as Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds and I am the Walrus on Alice in Wonderland, while she has even attracted the attention of world-famous artists including Salvador Dali. Take a look at why the Japanese version of Lolita is so different to that of novelist Vladimir Nabokov - yet both are based on Alice. This is Alice in Wonderland as you have never seen her before: a dark, sometimes menacing, and threatening character. Was Carroll all that he seemed? The stories of his child friends, nude photographs and sketches affect the way modern audiences look at the writer. Was he just a lonely academic, closet pedophile, brilliant puzzle maker or even Jack the Ripper? For a book that began life as a simple children's story, it has resulted in a vast array of dark concepts, ideas and mysteries. So step inside the world of Alice in Wonderland and discover a dark side you never knew existed!

Huck Finn's America: Mark Twain and the Era That Shaped His Masterpiece by Andrew Levy

A provocative, exuberant, and deeply researched investigation into Mark Twain’s writing of Huckleberry Finn, which turns on its head everything we thought we knew about America’s favorite icon of childhood. In Huck Finn’s America, award-winning biographer Andrew Levy shows how modern readers have been misunderstanding Huckleberry Finn for decades. Twain’s masterpiece, which still sells tens of thousands of copies each year and is taught more than any other American classic, is often discussed either as a carefree adventure story for children or a serious novel about race relations, yet Levy argues convincingly it is neither. Instead, Huck Finn was written at a time when Americans were nervous about youth violence and “uncivilized” bad boys, and a debate was raging about education, popular culture, and responsible parenting — casting Huck’s now-celebrated “freedom” in a very different and very modern light. On issues of race, on the other hand, Twain’s lifelong fascination with minstrel shows and black culture inspired him to write a book not about civil rights, but about race’s role in entertainment and commerce, the same features upon which much of our own modern consumer culture is also grounded. In Levy’s vision, Huck Finn has more to say about contemporary children and race that we have ever imagined—if we are willing to hear it. An eye-opening, groundbreaking exploration of the character and psyche of Mark Twain as he was writing his most famous novel, Huck Finn’s America brings the past to vivid, surprising life, and offers a persuasive—and controversial—argument for why this American classic deserves to be understood anew.

#nonfiction #non-fiction #nonfiction books #literature #criticism #critical thinking #analysis #interpretation #classics #english literature #literary #reading recommendations #Book Recommendations #library #800s #history #literary criticism #russian literature

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animebw · 3 years

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Binge-Watching: Odd Taxi, Episodes 8-10

In which I mull over the increasingly sinister question of Odokawa’s true nature, and his straightforward nature punctures bad dreams left and right.

I Am the Walrus

Who is Hiroshi Odokawa? That question hovers over Odd Taxi like an eagle circling for a chance to swoop down and snatch its prey. Even before he started getting tangled in all this conspiracy stuff, it was clear there was something very off about this seemingly normal taxi driver. And the further we’ve gotten into this show, the weirder and more concerning that question becomes. These episodes give us some concrete information: his parents died in an unknown accident when he was around 10 or so, and he’s lived off grant money from a mysterious orphan-supporting nonprofit ever since. This has filled him with a strong sense of right and wrong that he uses to bust through everyone else’s bullshit (”She didn’t bring it on herself. You’re a doctor, haven’t you hear of Stockholm Syndrome?”), but also makes it hard for him to connect with people on a personal level. But what about all the things that don’t add up? His unusually strong memory, the unknown nature of the nonprofit supporting him, how weirdly suited he seems to this dark underworld of scheming crooks? Does the fact that he’s basically the only person who comments on the people around him as animals have anything to do with it? Is that just an expression of his synesthesia, as Goriki suggests, or is there something else entirely going on? And what about the person in his closet? I seriously doubt it’s just an imaginary friend, but with all the unknowns at play, there’s no way of knowing for sure. For all I know, Odokawa could literally be hiding prime minister Shinzo Abe in there and it wouldn’t feel too out of place.

And now that the show’s no longer playing coy about Something Being Up with Odokawa, things are starting to get really odd. When Goriki thinks back to the first time he remembers riding in Odokawa’s cab, Odokawa knows things about him he’d have no way of knowing unless they’ve spoken before. Goriki chalks it up to this wasn’t actually the first time he rode in Odokawa’s cab and Odokawa’s memory is just that good, which, yeah, simplest explanation (and judging from Odokawa remembering that “Spring’s finally on the horizon” bit, his memory is really that good), but what if he really is psychic in some way? Or what if he was some kind of criminal and looked up stuff on Goriki beforehand for some reason? But that’s not even the weirdest thing. No, what’s really weird is that we see that video Taichi took of Dobu beating up on some guy in episode 7, and Odokawa says something offscreen in that video, but the voice we hear doesn’t sound like Odokawa at all. Seriously, I played it back just to make sure, and that’s not Odokawa’s voice saying Odokawa’s dialogue at that point. I... I don’t even know what that might mean. Nor do I know what to make of Odokawa thinking his parents are just missing- or at least him telling everyone else that- when we could easily guess they were dead from his brief flashbacks in the very first episode. I guess him being scared of drowning is probably because the accident involved his car going into the water or something, but what if even that’s a red herring? I’m doubting literally every conclusion I’m making here, and it’s driving me insane.

Broken Dreams

Refocusing to things I am more certain of, one thing that interests me about Odokawa is that unlike pretty much everyone else in this show, he isn’t being led astray by a dream. By all accounts, he’s just trying to make an honest living and pay back the people who helped him survive, even as he’s gotten more and more tangled in everything else going on. That puts him in direct opposition to the rest of the cast, who almost uniformly fall into trouble because of blindly pursuing a patently unhealthy dream rather than focus on loving and improving themselves. Kakihana tries to romantically pursue a young woman in order to stave off his sense of emasculation, and it results with him betrayed, beat up, in deep debt, and sobbing out apologies to his mom as he realizes how far he’s fallen. Yamamoto just wants to make his idol group succeed, but he does so by roping them into criminal enterprises against their desires. Taichi builds himself up as a hero to arrogantly escape his self-loathing, and he’s forced to eat the humblest pie after an impromptu therapy session with a dangerous criminal. Seriously, Dobu should quit the gangster life and go into therapy school: ”I’m saying your extreme self-hatred is narcissism. Normal people don’t think about themselves that much.” Dude’s really got a knack for it, that’s all I’m saying. But even he’s pretty tied down by his inescapable desire to get one over on his rapping, moonwalking hedgehog brother. And I’ve already touched on characters like Tamaki and Miho. Everyone’s got an unhealthy hustle driving them away from self-actualization and further into meaningless, dangerous conflict, and right at the center of them all is a taxi driver who just wants to do the right thing and help people out in his own cynical way.

What to make of all this yet? I’m not sure. It’s clear Odokawa’s intended as some sort of contrast/focal point for everyone else, but until we’re sure of his past, we’ll have to wait and see exactly how and why. All I know for sure is that he’s very, very good at calling everyone else out on their bullshit (”Of course, it was his fault. But he paid for it already. What about you, Yamamoto? Have you gotten what you deserve?”) He’s already pulled Miho out of a death spiral, saved Kakihana from his own worst instincts, and is preparing to use Yano and Dobu’s starry-eyed blindness to bring them down. And as we’re now heading into the final stretch, I can’t wait to see how that skill brings this wild tale to a close.

Odds and Ends

-”Is that some kind of kink?” sdkjfskdfj Miho why

-”You’re asking some very thoughtful and expository questions here.” Hah. Dobu’s pretty smart.

-”What did you just say?” “Before that.” “Too far back.” akfhsdjfkhskdfjh nice

-”I never asked to be deified!” OH BULLSHIT. You were trying to get viral when we first met, you lying sack of shit.

-”That means he’s interfering in your business, right?” “You think you’re so witty, don’t you?” pfft

-HE MADE HIM POST AN APOLOGY VIDEO ASKJDHASKHDA

-Okay, something about this beagle lady owning a beagle with the same kind of features feels so goddamn wrong.

-”Not only are you up in my personal space, you’re also trying to burn me. What are you, a smoking area?” Oh, that’s such a good insult.

-”That’s not funny.” “Because you didn’t draw out my best qualities.” good fucking bye

-YOOOOOO MIHO COMING IN CLUTCH

-”Hammer throwing and stimulants.” “You have to apologize to everyone, starting with Brazil.” my fucking sides

-”For unrelated reasons, a guy with a gun is trying to kill me right now.” “When did your life become so hard-boiled?” skjdfhskdfhskdhf

-it’s literally called Rinky-Dink Apartment oh my god

-”I call it... ODDTAXI.” And that’s how you do a title drop.

-So, is they mystery kiss girl the missing girl?

-Oh. The third Mystery Kiss girl. But hold on, didn’t we see her alive after the runaway had already gone missing? So how are they- okay, something isn’t adding up here. Wait for next episode to figure it out.

One more session to go. See you next time for the end of Odd Taxi!

#anime #the anime binge-watcher #tabw #odd taxi #oddtaxi

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popculturebuffet · 3 years

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Blacksad: Somewhere In the Shadows Review

Hello you beautiful people! I have a WEIRD relationship with Noir. It’s weird because i’ve never really dived into the films of type, though I really should, But as a kid I absolutely LOVED the tracer bullet arcs in Calvin and Hobbes, where everyone’s favorite hyperactive and imaginative six year old would plant himself as the hero in a noir pastiche.. ironically like myself Bill Watterson was also not a huge noir buff and just relied on Cliches but hey, it worked.

Still love these. So from fourth grade on it imprinted a lifelong love of a good bit of detective noir. Not enough to you know, get me to read any traditional noir books or watch any noir tv shows or detective procedurals but I still love a good mystery from time to time and some of my favorite comics such as Howard the Duck by Chip Zdarksy and Peter David’s second run on x-factor run on the genre while having fun with it’s cliches.

I also love anthropormphic animal stories. Dunno why, I just do, so once I found out about Blacksad, a comic that combines disney quality art from a former disney animator with gripping, adult noir that rips your heart out... I couldn’t resisit trying it. Telling the tale of John Blacksad, a cynical private detective and the cases he steps into via gorgeous, straight out of a disney storyboard art, the series is by Juan Díaz Canales (writer) and Juanjo Guarnido (artist), the latter a former Disney artist who worked on several Disney films, meeting in the 90′s while working on licensed works and hitting it off, leading to this series. That’s.. really all I could find about the making of the series in English. The only other fact is the series is designed for first release in France, which has a huge comics market, hence the various volumes being called “Albums”, with them later being released in Spain and then english, currently in the latter through Dark Horse Comics, who last year collected the current 5 albums and some side stories into one big volume. And with Dark Horse having infrequent sales including Blacksad on comixology it’s easy enough to pick up all 5 volumes in one complete package on digital for 9 bucks, as it is right now. Seriously I’m not trying to shill for Comixology or Dark Horse, I just love these comics and suggest picking them up. The creators DO intend on new volumes... it’s just both have been busy with other work so they’ve been stuck in development hell since 2013. However given there have always been, if much smaller, the biggest being 5 years, gaps between the Albums, I don’t think the series is dead quite yet and with Dark Horse fully backing it, taking the series from only two volumes getting translated to both translating the first four AND translating the fifth within a year of it’s release, we’ll undoubtly get the next one quickly. The series has also spawned a game, Under the Skin, which i’ll probably also cover some day as i’m dying to play it, but i’m waiting for a sale because it’s around 30 bucks and I can wait. It’s also been nominated for an Eisner three times to no suprise and has had fans in Stan Lee, Jim Steranko, Tim Sale and Will freaking Eisner. Yes the GUY the awards were named after liked the series. So yeah, I love this series and highly support it, but the thought of covering it hadn’t occrued to me.. in part because I already had three comic retrsopectives going, my looks at The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck, Scott Pilgrim and New X-Men, and simply because I just hadn’t thought of it till Kevin, frequent patron and comissioner of the blog whose paid for tons of reivews, suggested covering the second Album, Arctic Nation, which has our hero searching for a missing little girl he feels has been taken by the titular white supramacist movement.. and if your wondering “Wait how the fuck does that work their animals”, John is black coded due to his black fur, while the white suprmacists are all Arctic Animals.. a touch I really like as I’d honestly never thought of that as a metaphor but it fits like a glove, especially given that most white furred arctic mamals are pretty agressive looking. So yeah I’ll be covering that one next month for Black History Month, among many other things, but I felt I wanted to cover the series in order and since again, it’s only the second of five and I had a free space on the schedule. So without further adew, join me somewhere in the shadows and under the cut as we enter the world of one John Blacksad.

We open as you’d expect for a Noir with a heady narration and a murder. John was brought in by Smirnov, the chief of police and an old aquantice who serves as his Commissioner Gordon. Since the victim is John’s ex, he was brought in to see if he knows anything and as you’d expect warned not to look into it further, as John dosen’t buy this was a simple robbery. His response is exactly what you’d expect.

I mean.. what did you expect? You called him out of bed to see his former lovers corpse, KNOWING he’s one hell of detective, dosen’t give up on things easy, and would probably be curious. For him to say “Cool gonna go smoke some reefer and take in a looney tunes short at the theater, call me when you find the murderer?” Also this series takes place in the 50s. Because of course it does.

So John goes back to his office to brood, reflecting that the office feels like the remains of an ancient civlization because “It seems to be all that remains of the civlized person I used to be”. Hell of a line.

We then get his backstory with the victim, Natalia. She’s a famous actress, who John first as a younger man when hired to investgate some death threats she’d received with a boquet of flowers. John shows off just how good he is at his job in just a few panels.

IT not only shows in just a few panels just how ferocious our hero can be when needed and how good he is at his job, easily having tracked down the man responsible and scared him shitless without breaking as sweat, but how fucking gorgeous the art is. I meant it when I brought up the old disney comparison, as Steranko even mentioned in his introduction to the collection of the first three volumes how it looks like animation cels on the page. IT’s utterly breathtaking and ONLY gets even more lush and beautiful as the series goes on and perfectly fits the noir stylings with it’s realisim, making it’s animal characters feel utterly human and real while still keeping their animal traits in perfect detail.

John impressed her, and as we see in the next page under his narration they not only had really steamy passionate sex, and why yes we do see them naked even if the bits are covered it’s still very much nsfw and we saw Natalia’s naked corpse earlier, so that ship had already sailed anyway, with Natalia taking him on both as her lover and her on staff detective and the two were much in love.. until the fame apparenlty got to her judging from the visuals, and the realtionship fell apart.

Before we move on i’d like to talk about the narration which CAN be a bit overwrought here or there and is a bit overused.. but does have it’s mometns of being utterly effective as with above, contrasting John’s statments about a sucessful job and being hired on.. with the beginnings of his and Natalia’s relationship and their passionate lovemaking. IT’s not BAD and it works for the setting, but it can be distracting, but thankfully the series levels this out as we go and they learned from it so no harm done. Just the kinda thing that happens early in a series life when the creators are getting a handle on things, so no harm done.

But naturally John isn’t going to take the love of his life, responsible for the happiest days of said life, being brutally murdered lying down and is going to find the bastard who did this. So he goes to an old friend, Jake Ositombe, a championship boxer and Nat’s former bodyguard who he recommended to her. Given we see him knock the shit out of his opponent without the slightest effort, yeah good call. Also yes we share the same name and no it’s not weird to type about another Jake, adventure time sorta.. knocked that out of me. Jake dosen’t know much since she fired him a long time ago as one of her lovers hired private security, and the last one he knew of was a guy by the name of Leon. John, naturally, easily finds the guy’s apartment, Leon Kronkski, a screenwriter.. but also rules him out as the guy lived in a humble apartment and clearly didn’t have the cash to hire his own hired goons.

He does find a clue, a matchbook for some place called the Cypher Club.. and another when the man’s sweet mouse landlady shows up, who John charms by pretending to be Leon’s friend and flashing a big smile, finding out a msyterious man with “big bulging eyes”, took him. This scene also to me is great in subtly showing off John’s skill. While the previous flashback showed how badass he is, shoving a gun down the throat of a stalking wannabe murderer with pure rage in his eyes.. here we see a lighter approach, how despite his serious and dour nature.. he easily slips into being cheery and looking like an average joe off the street. He bluffs the landlady not because the plot says so.. but because like any PI he’s just that good at slipping into whatever roll he needs to get the info he needs. He can be his dour self or a charming happy go lucky guy without missing a beat.

So with that he goes to the studio leon worked for where his boss.. is a walrus j jonah jameson?

But yeah J. Jonah Walruson wants pictures of spider-man.. moving pictures.. but he can’t film them with his star dead and his screenwriter indefintiely gone, with the same bulging eyed man having told JJ he’d be gone indefintely. Nothing suspicious about that!

So naturally John’s next plan is to find the guy.. who is already after him as you’d expect with both a knife to slash at our hero with and the fog covering him so he can hit and run. But unluckily for him .. well i’ll let john say it...

John headbutts the myserious snake, who only managed to get his coat before and tries to interogate him.. but gets a quick jab to the gut and the guy gets away.

We soon meet our big bag, who has a big speech about insects and things being usefufl.. and once they stop being useful.. they become dead and collectable, telling the snake man to back off John.. and sending his right hand man to go take care of the Snake who apparently took something from the office. Realizing his numbers up the Snake Man goes to a lizard bar, picks up a package from a friend and runs out the back, knowing he’s being followed.. and we get some hints there’s also racial tension between lizards and mammials here as the bartender, said friend, has the entire bar circle around the guy preventing him from following our mysterious bulging eyed man.

Meanwhile John goes to the Cipher Club, a wretched hive of scum and villiany. Given Nat was a glamorous movie star, it’s very clear she was here to hide from something or someone, and the bartnender, a wild pig.

No not you sweetie. The wild pig tells John leon was indeed here and a local rat, in both senses of the word, offers to take John to him.. though understandably John is supscious of the guy he just met in a seedy bar taking him anywhere except to get some heroin. Did Heroin exist yet? Questions for later. But he’s got a case so he follows. Though suprisingly the guy DOES actually come through and it’s not ENTIRELY a trap: he takes john to a tomb for Noel Krinsok.. an anagram for Leon’s name. Unsuprisingly he’s dead. And also unsuprisingly, two hired goons

Show up. As I said not ENTIRELY a trap but it’s obvious given the rat split moments before that our mysterious big bad knew where john would be headed next, and thus while giving him a clue, also set him up to get his head knocked in. And while John is badass.. these guys are a bear and a rhino, both stronger, bigger, and with suprise on their size, as well as a tombstone to knock john’s head into. They easily beat him senseless and hope he got the message, though john gives a defiant fuck you before being punched out for it. He returns home, feeling like he’s aged 20 years “But no one respects the elderly anymore”, PFFT, and heads home to his rathole, not literally this time, apartment to lay on his cot and think as he gets some rest.

And while the trail for Leon is cold. our mysterious murderer accidently tipped his hand: only someone with a LOT of money and influence could make a man disappear like this, and it tracks with what we’ve seen so far. The guy has multiple henchman and despite being a big star with plenty of clout, Natalia had to hide in a dive bar just to get away from him and even THEN clearly wasn’t so lucky given she and her new lover both wound up dead. But Blacksad has bigger problems.. he wakes up in a jail cell.

Turns out Smirnkov had him arrested.. but for his own protection as the case is getting too hot and while he was late on that front given John’s face is hamburger, it’s clear from his tone and demeanor that while he may of been harsh with John earlier.. the two are old friends, and the Chief is simply worried about him winding up dead, and John takes you know being thrown in prison in stride. Which while not a bad scene it is a BIT suspect that a black coded character was thrown in jail for nothing and it’s treated very lightly and as a simple protection between friends, though given they wouldn’t think of coding john like that till next volume, I brush it off as accidental implications in hindsight.

Smirnkov though also called John here.. because he needs his help. Since Natalia’s Murder Case is pointing very high up, so his superiors have ordered him to bury the case and as he puts it “the bastards know where to squeeze”. And given in volume 3 we learn Smirnov has a wife and children, it’s very obvious where they squoze and to the volume’s credit while we don’t know that yet it’s VERY clear from Smirnov’s body language they went after some form of family. So while he has to give it up.. John does not. So he brought him to jail to offer a proposal: John goes after this son of a bitch and nails him to the wall.. and Smirnov will FULLY protect John no matter what he has to do. Now naturally given the rightful reckoning for police that’s been going on for almost a year, this SHOULDN’T play well. You have an officer outright telling an outside party that he and his boys will cover up his crimes. But.. honestly even in that framework.. it still works. That’s because.. the system has failed here. The higher up and more corrupt cops put pressure on the honest and hardworking family man Smirnov to stop a legitimate investigation into a horrible murderer.. because the guy is rich. And even now we’ve seen time and time again how rich assholes effortlessly escape the consequences of their action: How our own president who actively asked other nations to interfere in our election escaped his first impeachment trial, but hopefully not the second, aquitted. How Jeffery Epstien took YEARS to bring down with his years of ellicit parties involving innocent women and children he fucking enslaved. How Bill Cosby got away with all kinds of sexual assault for decades. The rich are often literally above the law in this country, so having a down on his luck detective, who retroactively himself is a minority, go after him with the full support of an actually GOOD police officer who genuinely believes in these people being held accountable but is held back by his family’s safety.. it works. John isn’t able to skirt consequences BECAUSE of a corrupt system.. but because the system’s so broken and slanted in the rich’s favor, that the ONLY option an honest officer like Smirnov has is to go outside it. And when asked WHY he’s doing all of this, Smirnov merley replies

... I got chills, their multiplyin. So John plans to find the bulge eyed snake after a hot shower.. only for the guy to hold a gun to John’s head, having been waiting for him and wave the murder weapon, in a baggie around, the item he had retrieved, feeling John’s trying to replace him as number two. However before he can do anything our snake pal is shot full of holes by the rat from before, who John dispatches with his own gun.

So the Snake starts to expire.. but feels a kinship with John “We are nothing right cat? Spent so much time waiting for the right chance and when it happens it all falls to pieces”. The Snake explains his roll in things: He was one of the private security our big bad hired to guard Natalia. But being supscious he also hired the rat to follow her around, and thus found out about her affair, brutally torturing and murdering Leon and shooting Natalia in the head. And we finally get a name as our snake friend tragically expires.

The snake’s death and tragic dying moments are something I forgot about.. but damn if their not really good writing, taking a character who before was seemingly just a murderous goon.. and comparing him to our hero. Another working class joe, and one who just caught up with the wrong asshole at the wrong time. He easily could’ve been john in another life and vice vers and it’s a good parallel.

So John’s nightmares finally have name and he naturally goes to confront the guy since he has an almost literal get out of jail free card. Turns out Smirnov is the richest man in town, and has his own big tower. Huh.. sounds familiar, and John simply sneaks his way up and once Statoc’s guards from before hear him rustling about.. sneaks up on them and clocks both one at at time with a fire extinqusher.

Statoc warmly welcomes our hero inside, and has the fucking lizard balls, as he’s some sort of lizard himself, to offer John a JOB

I mean he’s clearly lost a lot of his goons and most of them were incompetent. He fails to realize that John can’t be bought, is here for vengeance and has no intention of selling his soul to some rich asshole who killed someone he loved for the creepiest and most asinine reasons imaginable. He says john’s Concisence is why he can’t pull the trigger and that he lacks “cold blood”.. before we cut to the next page, where John’s shot the fucker in the head and left a gaping hole where his lack of a brain was.

And again what makes this work is the aftermath: John is clearly shaken, having ONLY been able to pull the trigger beause of Statoc’s smug grin and clearly not taking the sight of Statoc’s dead body bleeding out well. And while Smirnov keeps his word, covers for him despite the two guards clearly providing an iron clad argument against john and knoiwng thier blatantly covering this up.. he’s not happy about it.

This is WHY the narrtive still works. Statoc stacked the law against the bad guys. .but despite this being a necessary evil.. it’s still an evil and subverting teh law at this rightly leaves him not in a great place mentally. John himself isn’t even if he plays it off as otherwise, as we get our final bit of narration and one hell of a closing line.

Final Thoughts:

Somewhere in the Shadows is a bit rough around the edges, leaning a bit too heavily into the noir pastiche and Blacksad being a harboiled detective, something the next volume would ease up on. That being said.. it’s still a masterpiece, with gorgeous art and masterful pacing. While it’s the shortest of the stories, like those after it the pacing is sublime and never feels like it has any down moments or stuff that could’ve been cut, and the mystery keeps you on edge the whole time. Having forgot a lot of the details since last read I was on the edge of my seat the entire story and loving every second of it. Somewhere in the Shadows is the perfect starter for the series, introducing an important charcter in Smirnov and the noir nature and giving us a case personal to John so we can see who he was before, what he is now.. and what he WILL be for the rest of the series. The moment that MADE him into an even harder man than the one we follows here.. when he took a life in cold blood. A masterful story, seriously check it and the other volumes out, on comixology, in stores, great stuff. Next time we look into john and as I said, he’s taking down some racists and we also meet his sidekick weekly for the first time. As for me tommorow I dive back into my Tom Luictor retrospective but hit pause on our boy for a bit to take care of some of the larger plot. Until the next rainbow, it’s been a pleasure.

#blacksad #john blacksad #Smirnov #noir #anthropomorphic #anthro #funny animal #somewhere within the shadows #comics #dark horse comics #france #french comics #igor statoc #Natalia Wilford

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