#mystic messenger fanfic

[onlinekitsune]

LET ME IN: SAEYOUNG CHOI (PART TWO)

"make your way to me through the waves"

PAIRING, GENRE, WARNINGS ─ saeyoung choi x gnc!reader, not proofread, this is mostly comfort?? kinda just on saeyoung's side sorrryyy

SYNOPSIS ─ after a bit of an argument played out, between you. saeyoung returns back inside of the bedroom. unaware that you're actually awake, he begins to talk out his feelings.

WRITER’S NOTE ─ a handful of people requested a part two of the original!! which i honored and very gratful for!! i have a hard time liking my content, so when others tell me they enjoyed it, it means a lot! i tried my best with this but, kinda lost where i was going with it. again, a bit of dialogue is taken directly from the game. (day 8/9 iirc) i hope you enjoy! and again, thank you for all your kind words and support! i know i am off and on about posting content on here, but know that your words aren't just ignored!! so erm... anyways. do you think i could do a part three lmao

Your dreams were hard to recall as you continued to lay still in bed. Perhaps that was for the better, a dream about the argument prior or even recalling happier times in the chatroom would haunt you. You took a deep breath, not bothering to even open your eyes or get up. You felt exhausted, mentally and physically. It was ironic to you how crying provided the same effects as if you were to actually do something straining. Your hand slid through your sheets, blindingly guiding you to your phone. Before you could even reach it, you hear the door creak open. You laid completely still, unsure of what to do. Footsteps gently got closer, stopping as they reached right in front of you. The sound of fabric brushing against each other filled the room. Your heart raced, not sure what to expect. But you continued to stay still.

“You’re… asleep? Good.” Seven sighed, breaking the silence. He reached out his hand, brushing against the sheets. "You’re really quiet while you’re sleeping...” The room returned to its silence for a moment. You felt him lean his upper body on the bed, only being able to assume that he was kneeling before you. “You’re something, you know? I… must have hurt you by saying all those things, but you somehow manage to still be so bright. Even now. You remind me of the 707 I pretend to be in the chatroom. You have more in common with him than… Saeyoung.”

Your face slightly furrowed, hearing his voice become soft and vulnerable. You so desperately wanted to sit up and comfort him. But, you knew that if you did he’d immediately retreat. You continued pretending to be asleep, allowing him to continue. 

“Saeyoung is dark and pessimistic. His cold and complicated personality is the true me. I-I can’t wear the mask of the happy-go-lucky 707. I want you to realize that and be disappointed. I’m not a fun and cool person. I can put you in danger. So, don’t waste your feelings on me. I know telling you this won’t stop you. You’re so strange.” He continued. Hearing him talk bad about himself made your heart ache. If only he knew. If only he could see himself from your perspective. His hand hovered over yours before gently placing it on top, dissipating your thoughts. His touch was gentle, as if any friction could cause you to crumble beneath his fingers. “No, it's not you that's strange. It’s me. You’re actually… so nice and warm. You know, I… I sometimes dream about you accepting the real me. It’s a ridiculous dream, I know. But, thank you for allowing me to dream, at the very least.” His thumb brushed against the back of your hand before slipping away. 

The silence filled the room again, accompanied by your heartbeat in your ears. The weight on the bed returns to how it was, as he gets up. “Please, remember in your dreams that you can’t trust V… or even me. Be less nice to me, so that when I disappear, you won’t be hurt. Don’t trust anyone, and promise me you’ll stay safe. Allowing me to protect you is more than enough. It’s more than I deserve. It’s enough for Saeyoung.” He uttered, slowly turning away from you. You snuck a glance, seeing that he was now facing away from you but stood still.

“Saeyoung.” You let out, softly. You shifted from the bed, sitting up against the headboard. 

“I didn’t mean to wake you. I was just leaving-”

“Saeyoung. Please. Just wait a second.” You pleaded, looking up at him with soft eyes. He winced, hearing his name come from you a second time. He took a deep breath, and turned around to face you. He kept a straight face, but you could see the ache in his eyes. “Can we sit and talk?” You added. He hesitated, but ultimately gave in. He sat on the edge of the bed, staring at the floor.

“So, I can assume you heard everything?”

“I…Yes, I did. I didn’t want to pretend to be asleep but, also didn’t want you to run off.” you answered, grabbing onto your wrist. Your gaze met him as he turned his head to look at you. “Listen, I know how you feel. Pretending to be this happy-go-lucky person. I have experience with that, clearly. I don’t know how much you actually found out about me but… just know we have that in common, okay? I like yo-”

“Even if you say you like me, my life can’t embrace anything. You don’t know how it feels to live this kind of life. You shouldn’t be nice to me when you don’t know anything. The person you truly like is the 707 in the chatroom, just… forget about me. About this.” he interrupted, turning away from you. He was mere moments from leaving out the door, you felt it. And if he did, it’d return you back to where you were. In a moment of desperation, you bolted forward, hugging him from behind.

“Then please, help me understand the person in front of me…” You muttered, resting your head on his back. Saeyoung didn’t pull away, or even try to. He stood frozen, unable to comprehend what his mind was going through.

“You!” He let out, stunned. His eyes shut, slowly giving in to your affection. “Why are you doing this to me? You’re making this harder than it should. I live a dangerous life, one you don’t need to be involved in. I couldn't even protect my own brother… I have to abandon the person I adore. My life is good for nothing.”

“I’ve been through a bomb and a hacker, it’s a little too late for me to not be involved. I like the you that’s in front of me. Regardless of how complicated anything else is, I want to know you.”  

Saeyoung shook his head, taking a deep breath. “Please, don’t do this. Don’t make this harder than it needs to be. I… cherish you. I want to make you happy, but I can't! Why do you want to be with me when my life is so dangerous? Why do you… even like me?” He asked, his voice trailing off ever so subtly. You break off the hug, and sit beside him on the edge of the bed. 

“It’s more complicated than that. I can’t give a simple answer. I just like you, Saeyoung.”

“You’re impossible. What are you going to do if something happens to you because of me? What then?”

You gave him a soft smile, before reaching out to grab his hand. He didn’t bother to stop you, or even pull away. “No matter what happens, I won’t regret my feelings for you.” you uttered, now brushing your thumb across his hand. Another sigh, and again he shut his eyes for a moment. 

“I don’t know anymore. You’re so strange. I.. feel like i’m going strange too. No matter what I do… I can't seem to get rid of your feelings for me. Nothing good will happen by being close to me, you know. It’ll be too late to regret it later.” He muttered. You let go of his hand, placing it on his shoulder. You slightly tugged at him to turn. You two faced each other directly. You saw the sadness, the despair, the anguish in his eyes. Up close this time. 

“There’s no way I'll regret being with you, Saeyoung.” you softly replied, gently cupping his face. He stood there, as if he was afraid to touch you. To give into the affection. 

“You shouldn’t say that too easily. Ugh. I always told myself that I wouldn’t ever want to grow close to someone. But you’re making that so… complicated. I- I can’t believe you’re getting to me. Gods, what am I supposed to do now?” He asked, reaching to hold your forearms. You let out a soft breath, before leaning closer to him.

“First, just take some time and think about accepting my feelings. We can figure out the rest from there, alright?.” you answered, tilting your head slightly. You wanted to be his light, especially now.

“Alright… I’ll need some time.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll wait.”

#mystic messenger #mystic messenger fanfic #mystic messenger oneshot #mysmes fanfic #mysmes oneshot #saeyoung choi #707 mystic messenger #707 mysmes #luciel choi #saeyoung choi x reader #saeyoung choi x mc #saeyoung x mc #saeyoung x reader #707 x mc #707 x reader #saeyoung choi angst #mysmes angst #mysmes

[xelasrecords]

Tea! Would You Like Some?

Han Jumin x Reader

Jumin Week 2023 - Day 3: Quality Time @juminweek2019

High-quality time shared between two people highly stupid about their feelings. And for each other.

My x reader comeback after so long! Had a meet cute recently so y'all get a lighthearted crushing stage fic for once :)

Words: 3.9k

Masterlist Read on AO3

How soon you could come had no correlation to Jumin's expectation of seeing you materialise in his living room. At least, that was what he told himself. His traitorous fingers told a different thing. They had typed out a message asking where you were, if there was any problem with your ride, if you had input the correct address in your map, and if he needed to send out a search party if you didn't reply in the next five minutes, but that, he felt, would be too drastic.

Jumin erased the last part and sent the text. He sighed, fingers drumming on the arm of his white sofa. Contrary to Zen's belief, he was not one to blow things out of proportion. He always did just enough and everything else was simply a precaution.

Perhaps a five-minute grace was not precaution enough. Four minutes. He could wait for four.

The second his doorbell rang, Jumin leapt to his feet. He never considered the distance from the living room to the entrance too far, but now he doubted the interior design of his penthouse. Large spaces allowed him to breathe—until you took it away just by not reneging on your promise to visit. You were someone he had only met a handful of times, always with the other members and never at his own place.

Today was special. Today he decided to ignore his fear of being left behind by his loved ones and let you in.

You could be someone he loved. You could be the one who stayed.

Jumin composed himself and opened the door, and there you were, standing with your hands deep in your pockets, waiting for him.

Nothing could have prepared him for the sight of you. Despite being mussed by the wind, your hair fell beautifully around your face like a divine frame that accentuated your features. Your eyes were bright, your smile was wide, and you were wrapped in a coat that must be your favourite. He never saw you without it. He wished he knew more about your fashion sense so he could gift you clothes that you would like. He also wished he was close enough to see himself in your eyes' reflection, but that time would come later. Everything had its order, and patience was a virtue that had been drilled into him since childhood.

"I have been waiting for you," said Jumin, not bothering to hide the relief in his voice. "Did anything happen on your way here? You didn't reply to my text."

"I was rushing." Your smile turned apologetic. "Didn't check my phone, sorry."

Jumin stepped aside to let you in. The fact that your hand could have grazed his had you walked nearer to him did not escape his attention. "No matter. It's all right now that you're here."

Leading you to the white plush sofa where he had waited with perfect calmness, he felt tense and oddly exposed, like he was anticipating a foreboding that might come to pass. He did not feel like Han Jumin. This was an iteration of him that he had not been acquainted with.

"Did I make you wait too long?" you asked.

"No," Jumin said. "You didn't have to hurry. You were not yet late." He hoped the sofa would be good enough for you. He had asked his housekeeper to clean off every speck of dust he could detect, twice over.

You sat down and stared at him with a look that he couldn't discern. "I wanted to be early."

Jumin took a seat beside you, careful to maintain a respectful distance despite his heart's protest. "You possess an excellent sense of time management. We will get along well." Compliments flowed out of him easily when it came to you. If you let him, he would graciously point out your strengths one by one.

But was that disappointment on your face?—though it disappeared before he could probe further. "Yes, I love time and managing stuff." You sighed. "That's why I'm the assigned party coordinator."

Now that you were at the spot where he had cast secret spells to summon you, Jumin wasn't sure what to say. He was desperate to know if you shared his jitters. You were motionless, spine straight and hands clasped on your lap, studiously watching the black television screen. There was nothing save for the blurred reflection of both of you sitting in a similar position. He had been imagining all sorts of exciting conversations with you, but your presence had flung them out of his head. This had never happened before. An MRI scan was in order after you went home.

It was possible that you were growing bored, though your affable expression had not indicated so. But it might not mean anything, for you always seemed pleasant. You were very, very pleasant to look at. It was also possible that he was the only one with an insatiable curiosity towards you. For all he knew, you could be with a partner and merely accepted his invitation to hang out with him as a newly anointed member of the RFA. And you were a member. This was a friendly meet-up, nothing more.

"Tea," said Jumin suddenly. His voice echoed in the silence.

Startled, your head snapped to him. "What?"

"Everyone in my family learns to brew tea," Jumin explained. "The tea leaves in my pantry are directly imported from China, obtained from the only six three-hundred-year-old Wuyi trees in existence. The legend of this tea can be traced back to the age of emperors and dynasties, and it has become extraordinarily rare over time. It has the best quality in the world."

"How did you get it if it's so rare?" You were trying to hold a smile back, but it was not a mocking sneer. There was a certain fondness in it that made him want to let all his guard down and pull you into his arms.

"Auctions," Jumin simply said. "You ought to try it. It will keep you warm." Only then he noticed that you still had your coat on and was promptly filled with horror. "My apologies. I seem to have lost my manners." He outstretched his arm. "Leave your coat with me. It can't have been comfortable sitting in that."

"Shame." You handed it over. "I was planning to take a nap in this."

"Is that how people normally sleep? Or is it a tradition unique to you?" Jumin folded your coat into a perfect half over his forearm. "I'd appreciate it if you could teach me your ways."

"I was joking, Jumin. Should I teach you how to make one?" you said, in a tone so kind that he was taken aback. People tended to laugh at his face or look away politely when he failed to understand a joke.

"There is no need. I already have a handbook for it." Jumin was unable to keep smugness out of his voice. "It includes a list of one hundred jokes that you can make to both family and work colleagues alike. I have made good use of it when I need to break the ice."

"But does it include learning how to take one?"

"Unfortunately, I have yet to encounter a book for it."

You squeezed his shoulder, and the warmth of your touch penetrated all layers of his clothing that he had carefully planned. Navy blue suit, black tie, complete with a beige waistcoat and white striped shirt. Everything was new. "Don't worry," you said. "It just means the joke isn't funny to you. A good joke will make you laugh naturally."

"I see." Jumin fixed his tie. "I promise to laugh at your next joke."

"I said naturally. Honestly, Jumin. Please don't plan for it. You're going to give me performance anxiety."

"Then I look forward to your performance." He smirked, and you groaned. Something about you brought out the childlike side in him that he didn't know was still alive. "If you would wait here for a moment. I shall brew you a cup of tea. It won't be long."

Without waiting for your response, Jumin stood up, hung your coat on the silver coat rack by the hallway, and headed to the kitchen. Something was wrong with him. A smile kept threatening to break out of his face and there was a palpable beating in his throat when it should stay underneath his ribcage and he felt giddy about something. He was sure that this was abnormal. Was he finally living up to Zen's senseless claim that he was a strange creature? Jumin stowed these additional symptoms away for his next doctor's appointment. Forget MRI, he needed a full-body checkup.

Jumin heard a soft padding behind him as he turned on the kettle. Your footsteps were quiet, almost drowned by the gurgling of the boiling water and it reminded him of the elegance of Elizabeth the Third. He'd introduce you to her when she decided to make an appearance. The thought of the two of you getting along put a smile on his face.

"I thought you would've offered me wine before tea. Are you really Jumin?" you teased, peering from behind him. He was scooping oolong tea leaves into the strainer in a precise measurement when his muscles turned rigid. Your chin was nearly perched on his shoulder. He regretted that you didn't.

But Jumin dearly wished he knew either. He paused and looked over at you. Now he could see himself in your mischievous eyes. Now he saw how happy he was. The opportunity came sooner than he was prepared for. His breath hitched. "Would you like some wine instead?" he asked, keeping his gaze steady. "I have a wide variety you can choose from in the cellar."

"Tea is fine," you said. "I'll take anything you give me, really."

"Beware," Jumin said dryly. "You have not known me long. There could be poison in your drink."

It took a second for his joke to register, but when it did, you started to laugh. Jumin was stunned, then relaxed when he realised you were not under any pretences of politeness. He felt as if he got a high score for a competition he had unknowingly participated. He never used to put high importance on winning. As someone who consistently broke his own records, achievements were just another thing that his office and father would hold a customary celebration for.

But you were different. Your laughter was a prize he wanted to win all the time. He liked seeing you in joy, and liked that he was the source of it. It was a high that he never wanted to come down from.

"Did you copy that joke from your handbook?" you asked.

"I came up with it on the spot," said Jumin proudly, and your grin widened.

Your eyes flitted to the only china cup laid out on the marble countertop. "Aren't you making another for yourself?"

Jumin shook his head. "I'm not in the mood for tea."

You lifted a brow. "I am so surprised."

Jumin's forehead furrowed in genuine confusion. "Why would you be?"

You flailed your arms about. "Is tea not your passion?" you said. "You were fired up when you talked about it. That's all you've talked about. If I didn't know you better, I'd think it's your favourite drink in the world."

"I merely wanted to keep you warm, and a cup of tea was the fastest way to do it." Actually, Jumin thought being embraced by him would be faster, but he doubted you would accept his advanced advances. "You're the one who has been on my mind, not tea."

"Not tea," you repeated.

"It's nothing compared to you," Jumin affirmed.

"Oh." You pressed your palm against your cheek. "That's nice. You're nice." You gave a perfunctory sweep at his polished monochromatic penthouse, sparse but efficiently filled with the essential household items. "Your place is also nice."

But you were looking at everywhere but him, and that didn't feel as nice. "You might be the first person calling me nice besides V," Jumin said, deciding to focus on the positive. "And V is exempted as he is my closest friend. I'm not sure how to feel about this, to be honest. I'll have to think about it later."

"Take your time," you said, finally looking at him. "I'm not going anywhere."

Quietly, Jumin poured hot water into the teacup and stirred sugar into the steaming amber liquid, allowing the clinking of the teaspoon to fill the space he couldn't. For all his desire to have his interest in you reciprocated, he could not picture the reality if you did. He wouldn't know what to do with himself. He wanted to invite you into his mind, yet was frightened by the thought of you being repelled after knowing him.

"Careful, it's hot," Jumin warned as you lifted the teacup to your lips. "Tell me, how do you find it? Is it to your taste?"

You took your time sipping the tea. He suspected you did it to keep him on his toes, and had to admit that it was part of your intrigue. Jumin could never guess your next move. Anything he predicted you would prove him wrong in the most delightful way possible.

You looked up from the rim of the cup. "What if I say it isn't?"

A connoisseur in understanding your jest now, Jumin replied, "I shall melt into a puddle and lie on the floor until you give me an honest review."

"I will mop your puddle and wring it out the window."

He looked at you thoughtfully. "I'd say I'm offended, but I heard that committing murder is an expressway to one's heart."

"Sometimes even literally," you agreed.

Jumin's eyes widened. "The double meaning escaped me. You are a genius."

You set your cup down on its saucer with a delicate clink. "But is murder the only way to your heart?"

Jumin forgot the mechanism of speaking. Due to his years of experience with women whom he never spared a glance for, he could detect the act of flirting when he saw one. And you were flirting. With him. He was eighty-nine per cent sure of it. You deemed him worthy to be flirted with. Jumin almost slid down to his knees.

"No." He managed to get a full sentence out. "No," he tried again, "but you don't even have to try. Whatever you're doing, you are doing it well." Two better sentences. Magnificent.

"That's too bad," you said. Jumin noticed that your hand was still wrapped around your cup, steam unfurling on the top of it. You must still be cold. "I've been waiting to hack through your chest with an axe."

Jumin walked towards the heater controller and turned it on. "Is homicide the only thing in your mind?"

"It's more of an ad break from the thoughts of you."

At that, Jumin turned around. You had been thinking about him. He knew how impossible it was to stop thinking about you, and your admission was making him lightheaded. Did you ever dream of him and then scramble for your phone the first thing in the morning just to hear his voice? Did you ever yearn to talk about him to your friends the way he did, except his only friend was doing his habitual disappearance and the loneliness was more profound now that you were his constant excitement but he had no one to tell it to? Did you have anyone you hold dear to your heart? Were you open to considering him as one someday? It was not yet appropriate to be so upfront with his questions, he knew.

But one question should be fine. "How long have you been thinking of me?" Jumin asked.

You leaned against the counter and crossed your legs. "I talk to you every day. So, every day." He wondered if your composure was a facade, the way his was.

Jumin nodded. "We share the same habit. I can't quite recall what I used to think about before you entered our lives."

"Your darling white cat, the cat projects that generate a steady loss for your company, and some new cat-friendly inventions? Jaehee's nightmares, basically."

Jumin chuckled. "You know me well. I must say I'm surprised." It wasn't so bad to be known. He could get used to the feeling. "Assistant Kang doesn't appreciate the fine things in life. It's a pity that Elizabeth the Third is hiding somewhere right now. If you see her, you'll understand why I do all those things for her."

"You love her," you said kindly. "I understand that enough."

Jumin stared at you. You kept saying the right things and he kept falling, falling, falling.

"You've finished your tea," Jumin noted, but not without regret. He dreaded having to let you go.

You studied the empty cup. "Wow, I think I inhaled it. You were right, it was the best tea I've ever tasted. Thank you."

"I hope you will stay longer. Do you have other arrangements for the evening?" Jumin, who had arranged his whole weekend around your visit, calmly inquired.

"I don't," you said, with just as much calmness.

"My collection doesn't stop at drinks," he said. "I have a brand new record player and an array of classic vinyls. You can peruse them if you'd like. A three-star Michelin chef will be flying in to prepare dinner and you can request anything you want, provided that you do it three hours prior. There's also a gym on the second floor, though exercising is probably not the best activity since you don't bring a change of clothes." He paused. "You don't happen to bring one, do you?"

"Jumin, I—no. But I could wear yours if I so desperately need to shower here."

He thought he saw your eyes suspiciously glittered, but it was gone when you blinked. "I don't have clothes that would fit you perfectly." He frowned. "They're all tailored to my body, you see. I'm afraid you wouldn't find much comfort in them. Now, would you like to sit down? I've made you stand for too long." He guided you to the kitchen island, fingers light around your wrist, and pulled out one of the brass bar stools. "Please excuse my bad manners today. Something must have come over me. I don't tend to be like this."

You settled in your seat only to swivel back to meet his towering figure. Your knees nudged his legs, and Jumin was stunned, unmoving. He thought an attraction was supposed to burn him alive, to light him up from the inside. What he felt now was akin to petrification. It crept up on him from the ground he stood and incapacitated his ability to form coherent thoughts.

"Jumin," you enunciated his name with great care. He had never thought his name was beautiful until it lulled out of your mouth. He wanted to brand it into his memory.

"Yes," he said, because it was the only thing his mouth could form.

"Your house sounds like a treat."

"That's because it is. You can entertain yourself here. Whatever you want, I will do my best to provide it for you."

"Other guys could give me those too. There have been some, you know," you confessed, and Jumin was torn between wanting to know more about your past and quelling down the illogical jealousy it spurred. "Gold-dipped bouquets with diamonds, fancy restaurants where they ordered for me without asking about my preferences, jewellery that I wouldn't pick for myself." Your voice was tinted with slight distaste, but it was gone in the next instance. "Do you think I was swayed by them?"

Now Jumin's gaze turned sharp. This was a test, he realised. Your intention was not to compare him to other men, nor was it to flaunt how desired you were. Jumin knew the latter well without needing you to prove it to him. He felt the torrent of his desire all the time. It threatened to wash him ashore and pull him back into the raging sea, never letting him be at peace until he could be certain you wanted him back. So what would you get out of your question? Whatever your goal was, he knew what he was supposed to do. You favoured honesty, just as he did. That was one of the many things he respected about you.

"I doubt you were," Jumin said. "Your affection isn't the kind that could be bought. I may not know you intimately, but I know you would not budge under insensitive bribery, and your tale reeked of one. What they did was foul and not driven by the best intentions. That's not how you, or anyone, should be treated."

Your expression softened as you reached for his hand. "I know you're not trying to impress me with your wealth. I'm sorry if I made you think so. I meant to show you that I'd be here even without you throwing those things at me. You called me just to meet up and I came right away. If I stay back, it's because I want to spend more time with you." You averted your eyes. "Did you have to make me say all that?"

Emboldened by your hold that you hadn't let go, Jumin tilted your chin and you leaned forward by a fraction. "You enjoy my company," he said, assessing your earnest face. He could hear his racing heartbeat in his ears. "But will you stay?"

"You'd really like an encore to embarrass me," you grumbled. "Didn't you hear what I just said?"

"You phrased it as a hypothesis. I cannot be sure that staying with me is what you want unless you state it clearly," Jumin pressed. Though he was always surrounded by people, no one had ever bothered to stay. Not for long. Not for the person he was.

His fear and desperation must have shown on his face, for you let out a small breath and gently squeezed his arm, before trailing your sight to the empty cup waiting on the counter. "I think you should refill my tea," you said slowly. "I need more if we'll talk into the night, won't I?"

The warmth from your hold spread throughout his body and a smile broke through Jumin's face, his uncertainty receding. Someone as beautiful and brilliant as you, a gem rarer than his tea—for those tea leaves could be reproduced but you were one of a kind—wanted him as much as he wanted you. It was the first real smile he wore in a while. "We can switch to something stronger after dinner," Jumin suggested.

"Wine," you guessed. Oh, how he loved that you could read his mind. "I knew it. You always default to wine. Farewell, tea. His affair with you has been short but memorable."

Jumin was all too eager to agree. "Farewell."

Jumin hoped it would be a long, long time before his relationship with you could end. If it would ever end.

-

The footnotes that I thought would be an occasional extra but they just won't go away:

This fic is inspired by good dates and bad dates and that early crush feeling when you don't quite know the person yet so everything feels exciting and scary.

Don't worry, Jumin's tea rambles didn't deviate from canon. On day 8 he wishes you to learn tea brewing since all his family does it. I thought it'd be fun to highlight his nervousness by making him do something unexpected, especially since he's the type who would randomly do something out of pocket while still maintaining his gravitas.

The tea's legend is based on Da Hong Pao, a very rare, government-protected Chinese tea that you can only get if the president honours you some and from auctions. I didn't think I'd research that deep for accuracy for a mere fic but what am I if not committed.

The header is made to seem like a cheeky ad in the spirit of Jumin's tea endorsement. Contemporary fun with a touch of antiquity is what I was going for to capture the fic's mood and Jumin's preference. The challenge was to make a dynamic animation without looking flat or too complicated but still fit the time, format and size constraints. People still need to be able to immediately read the text, which means no over-the-top entrances and transitions. Truthfully, I die a little bit inside whenever I have to sacrifice aesthetics for function but it is what it is!

Buy me a glass of something that's definitely not coffee because I can't stand it but it is the website's name if my story touches you in some way? No worries if you don't. I'm still grateful you've read all the way through here.

#jumin week 2023 #jujuw23d3 #xela writes #jumin han x you #jumin x reader #jumin han fluff #mysme jumin #jumin han #mm jumin #mystic messenger #mystic messenger fanfic #jumin han fic

[yoosungisbabie]

all that really matters - day four

@juminweek2019

jumin x mc

rating: T

prompt: acts of service

warnings: slightly suggestive phrases/moments

word count: 2,925

ao3 link

She had forgotten about the reporters outside, flinching as a flurry of clicks and flashes started around her. Instinctively, she turned her face away, pressing her cheek into Jumin’s chest as he walked without hesitation. “Mr. Han!” “Is she injured?” “What dress is she wearing?”

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

“And that concludes our event for this evening. Thank you all for coming. Please have a wonderful evening.” The moving of chairs and dishes clattering quickly replaced the announcer’s clear voice.

Jumin placed his napkin on the table, clearing his throat as she ensured she had her phone and purse. As her fiancé straightened his tie and buttoned his jacket closed, she readied herself for the next few hours of business jargon and conversations that she would have to focus on trying to keep up with.

“Mr. Han,” she heard from behind them, seeing Jumin turn his head. As he moved to stand, the conversation around them rose in volume. She stood to join them when Jumin offered both his hand and a light smile towards her.

“My love, this is Mr. Yang, our head of finances at C&R,” he explained, nodding once at her and letting go of her hand so she could shake Mr. Yang’s.

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you,” she grinned, shaking his hand firmly but gently. The older man’s eyebrows rose, looking back and forth between the two of them.

“You’ve heard of me?” he wondered, releasing her hand.

“Of course!” she laughed lightly. “Jumin and his father would be lost without you.” Mr. Yang smiled sheepishly, swatting the air as if to push her comment away.

“Not at all,” he murmured, shaking his head. Jumin chuckled shortly, glancing down at her feet and moving his chair just a little as she stepped out from between them.

“Dearest, if you would like to make your way to the downstairs lounge, I can meet you there,” Jumin softly said as he leaned close to speak in her ear. She smiled, nodding up at him and understanding through his eyes that he didn’t want her to stand and be bored with their conversation.

“Of course,” she whispered back, bowing slightly at Mr. Yang as he did the same. “It was lovely to meet you!” she smiled, hearing him scoff in surprise as she moved away from them. She maneuvered through the banquet hall, glad to stretch her legs after spending the last two hours at their tables. However, there wasn’t much relief, as the shoes she’d bought for that evening were far more uncomfortable than she could have imagined.

She said brief hellos to a few people she vaguely recognized as she passed by, following the small crowd down the stairs to the lounge and bar beneath them. She held onto the railing for dear life, trying to walk as fast as possible even though she was one of the youngest and, therefore, fastest at the event. Her heels were both unstable and very high, and along with the fact that she could feel them digging into her ankles, she was surprised when she made it down the stairs without crying out in pain.

Despite how quickly the bar and surrounding tables were filling, light jazz played overhead, making the atmosphere feel slightly more relaxed than upstairs. She glanced around the room, finding a table near the window and heading towards it.

“Mrs. Han!” someone called out, startling her. She jumped, turning to her left as a man she hadn’t met before approached her with a friendly smile. Smiling back, she bowed to him and chuckled to herself.

“I’m not quite Mrs. Han yet, but I’m glad I can already respond to the name,” she smiled, seeing the man furrow his eyebrows.

“Forgive me! You’re only recently engaged, am I right?” he wondered, reaching out to shake her hand. She met him halfway, surprised at how strong of a grip he had.

“Right,” she nodded. He let go of her right hand, pointing at her left.

“May I?” he asked, and she lifted her hand in confusion. She understood as he gently held her hand, greatly contrasting the shake they’d just shared, and looked down through his glasses at her engagement ring.

“You can tell a lot through the ring,” he mumbled, pulling her hand closer.

“Is that so?” she laughed, watching him examine it closely. He blinked a couple of times before grunting and patting her hand in finality.

“It’ll do,” he nodded, flashing a smile at her. She laughed a little, glancing at it herself and smiling.

“I’ll let him know you approve, Mr…” she started, trailing off once she realized she didn’t know who she was speaking to.

“How rude of me not to introduce myself. I’m the head of PK Holdings, a company very involved with your fiancé’s,” he explained, clasping his hands behind his back. Her eyebrows raised in recognition even though he still hadn’t given his name, remembering that Jumin had called him out as someone who would probably approach one or both at the gala that night.

“Mr. Park! It’s so lovely to finally meet you,” she grinned, watching the older man blink at her in surprise. “Jumin has told me how easy it is to work with you.” The corner of his mouth twitched up into a smile briefly before he let out a bellowing laugh, making her laugh a little in both surprise and amusement.

“That boy,” he chuckled, smoothing his tie and shaking his head with a fond smile. “Ah! I believe he’s waiting for you, so I won’t keep you any longer. I’m looking forward to your wedding,” he said, drawing her eyes to the bar behind them, where Jumin was picking up two drinks.

“Thank you, Mr. Park. I’ll see you again soon,” she smiled, throwing him a small wave as she started over to Jumin. Their eyes met as he turned around, his expression briefly softening before he seemed to notice something.

“Jumin,” she sighed happily, receiving her glass of champagne from him. He leaned down to kiss her cheek, giving her goosebumps.

“How did you fare with Mr. Park?” he wondered, finding her hand at her side and placing it on his arm as they walked towards the windows.

“He examined my ring for a good 30 seconds,” she snickered, gladly hanging on his arm as she tried to steady herself and avoid any pain points with her heels. Jumin hummed thoughtfully, taking her hand and holding it as she sat down at the table they’d chosen so she could steady herself.

“That indeed sounds like him,” he mused, sitting across from her and undoing his jacket button. They both took a sip of their drinks, him of his wine and her of her bubbles.

“He said “It’ll do,” she relayed, watching as Jumin looked the slightest bit offended.

“It’ll do,” he repeated lowly, leaning back in his chair and looking out at the view. “I would be interested to see his opinion change when he sees your wedding band.” She pressed her lips together, her tongue tingling from the champagne, and butterflies began to swirl in her stomach. She couldn’t help the rampant excitement whenever they mentioned the big day.

“He seemed very nice,” she continued, beginning to cross one leg over the other to get comfortable but deciding against it. Putting too much weight on one foot hurt too much at that point, and when she instinctively reached down to rub her ankles, she played it off as fixing the skirt of her dress. They only had a few more hours here, and she didn’t want Jumin to leave the event early for something so trivial.

“Judging our relationship based on the choice of ring is very nice, yes,” Jumin teased, making her roll her eyes and smirk.

“Either way, I’m glad I was prepared for tonight,” she noted, seeing him tilt his head.

“Our preparations helped?” She nodded and took another sip, thinking about all the slideshows that Jaehee and Jumin had prepared to help her begin to memorize all of the most important people who would be there that night.

“If I’m going to be a regular guest at your company’s events, it would be good to know as much as I can,” she replied, seeing Jumin nod thoughtfully.

“Do let me know if it overwhelms you,” he murmured, meeting her eyes again. She smiled, shaking her head.

“I’ll be fine. Besides, how can the future wife of the future chairman be clueless?” she teased, watching a small smirk grace his lips.

“I like that title for you—future wife of the future chairman. Rolls off the tongue,” he said, jesting back at her. She chuckled, rolling her eyes again and looking out at the crowds that began to gather at the larger tables.

“Where to next?” she wondered. “I’m sure you have a list of people you need to speak with tonight.” Jumin slowly turned the wine glass as it sat on the table, not meeting her eyes.

“My list was short, and therefore I have already completed it,” he said, looking up at her. She furrowed her eyebrows, waiting for the punchline. “Besides, this wine tastes horrible. How could I stay any longer?” There it was. She scoffed, standing up and avoiding scrunching her face up in pain. Her calves were becoming sore, and her toes felt like they would be pressed together for the rest of time.

“Come on,” she laughed, holding a hand out for him and grabbing her glass. “I’ll come with you.” Jumin stood to meet her, buttoning his jacket again and keeping her gaze.

“I wasn’t joking, my love. I’ve talked to everyone I needed to already,” he reiterated, pulling her hand to his and intertwining their fingers. She searched his eyes, wondering if maybe he just didn’t want to admit he was tired. He returned her stare, looking lovingly back at her. She couldn’t help but give in, raising her eyebrows in mild surprise.

“In that case, I suppose we could meander our way to the exit,” she shrugged, placing her glass back down and squeezing his hand.

“Perfect,” he smiled, holding her hand at his side and walking a pace in front of her to lead the way.

Multiple people greeted them as they walked past, but no one tried to stop them for a conversation. She could have sworn that there were far more people that Jumin should have talked to, but those thoughts quickly shifted back to focusing on walking as painlessly as possible. After a few moments, she linked her arm with Jumin’s again, using him for support while being as subtle as possible about it.

A moment of relief came in the elevator, and she leaned against his shoulder to look up at him.

“Would you like to pop open a bottle of something you’ll actually enjoy once we’re home?” she wondered, seeing him smile and glance down at her.

“Among other things,” he nodded, making her bite the tip of her tongue and watch the elevator descend through the floors instead.

Once they arrived on the ground floor, she steeled herself for only a few more minutes of the horrible heels she’d chosen. It was like the universe knew that she was almost done, making the walk through the lobby the most painful part of the night thus far.

“Darling,” he called, making her tense and wonder if he had noticed her struggling after all. “There is a professional photographer near the door. Would you like to take a picture? You are absolutely stunning tonight,” he wondered, slowing to a halt as he gauged her reaction. She glanced over, seeing two chairs in front of a camera on a tripod.

“I’d love to,” she smiled, looking down at her dress and smoothing it out. “I would hate to forget my first corporate gala.” Jumin let out a short laugh through his nose, leading her over to the photographer.

“Good evening, Mr. Han,” the young man greeted them, readying his camera quickly. “It would be my pleasure to photograph you two. May I suggest some poses?”

“I would like most of them with my fianceé in the chair. Her dress and posture will make for a gorgeous picture, don’t you think?” Jumin gushed, making her hands tremble slightly as she sat down. The photographer instructed Jumin where to stand and how to place his hands, one of them draped over the back of the chair so that his fingertips brushed her shoulder.

“And now, miss, if you would move your hand over your lap– perfect! Let’s take a few shots with this pose,” he said excitedly, the shutter clicking as he took multiple pictures quickly.

After a few more poses, Jumin deemed that enough and handed the man a small stack of cash.

“Thank you,” she smiled at the photographer, moving to stand before Jumin placed a hand over hers on the arm of the chair. She blinked up at him, resting her weight back down on the cushion as he moved to kneel in front of her.

“What is it?” she wondered, seeing him adjusting the skirt of her dress.

“Uncross your legs for me,” he spoke softly, making heat flush under her skin as his fingers slipped around her ankle. She did as he said, her heart racing as he carefully slipped her heels off. Her anticipation boiled down to confusion as he dusted them off and handed them to her. She took them hesitantly, looking to Jumin for an explanation.

“Would it be alright if I carried you?” he asked, looking up at her from where he kneeled. She blinked at him, opening her mouth for a moment before speaking.

“Sure, Jumin, but–” She stopped as he wrapped a hand around her waist to pull her towards the front of her chair, looping his other arm beneath her knees. He picked her up and pulled her to his chest with ease, making sure her skirt was appropriately draped as she made multiple noises of confusion and surprise. Someone opened the door to the venue for them to exit, but she could barely hear it over the sound of her heart racing at the unexpected situation.

She had forgotten about the reporters outside, flinching as a flurry of clicks and flashes started around her. Instinctively, she turned her face away, pressing her cheek into Jumin’s chest as he walked without hesitation.

“Mr. Han!”

“Is she injured?”

“What dress is she wearing?”

She squeezed her eyes shut, feeling embarrassment flood her body as she imagined all the articles already being written. Jumin remained quiet, walking a few more paces until she heard a car door open. He lowered her down, helping her into the car while serving as a barrier between her and the cameras. She threw the heels on the floor, covering her face and folding over on herself. She groaned, feeling Jumin settle in beside her and close the car door.

“Jumin, what was that?” she asked through her hands, wanting to flop onto his lap but also wanting to hear his explanation before she showed him affection of any kind.

“I could tell as soon as you stood up from our dinner table that your heels were causing you tremendous pain. Why didn’t you say anything, my love?” he wondered, making her squint up at him through her hands.

“I didn’t want to make a big deal out of nothing,” she responded, grateful when Driver Kim pulled away from the curb. She sat up straight, kicking at one of the heels absentmindedly.

“Your health and comfort are anything but nothing,” he replied, reaching over to take her hand and lift it to his lips for a gentle string of kisses.

“The universe will punish you somehow for this,” she grumbled with a small smile she was trying to restrain.

“For taking care of my fianceé? I hardly think so,” he disagreed, putting their intertwined hands in his lap and looking at her.

“I appreciate what you did, Jumin, but I really would have been okay for a few more steps,” she explained, watching him rub her fingers thoughtfully.

“I was just practicing for when I carry you over the threshold,” he said quietly, making her chuckle.

“I should have guessed you would want to. You’re so superstitious,” she scoffed teasingly as he looked up with a slight pout that always managed to get him out of trouble.

“I can’t take any chances,” he replied, making her laugh and give up on making him regret what he’d done.

“You’re unbearable,” she lied, watching his face relax at the sound of her laugh. He leaned over to kiss her cheek tenderly, making her stomach flip.

“Now, which sales associate helped you with these Louboutins?” he wondered quietly, his face still close to hers. She met his eyes, her stare narrowing at him.

“Leave Jinsoo alone, please,” she sighed, knowing he could find out what he wanted to know within minutes, even if she wouldn’t tell him.

“Ah, Jinsoo. My next target,” he said menacingly, making her stare at him before bursting into laughter again. He watched her with a growing smile, stroking his chin like he was a villain deep in thought.

“Jumin, please. She’s only doing her job,” she said through her laughter, knowing he was completely joking.

“I will have my revenge,” he muttered, pushing her to laugh again and lean into his side. He gave in and laughed with her, pulling her closer as she continued to fight for the saleslady until Jumin gave up his playful charade.

Their ride home was full of laughter, and he promised to help her soothe her feet at home, utterly content that he had made her smile again.

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

hello!! thank you so much for reading this! and thank you all so much for all the support I've received already this week <3 it means so so much to me!

stay tuned for the last two days! thank you again!

Mel x

#mystic messenger #jumin han #jumin #mysme #my writing #han jumin #jumin fanfic #juminweek2023 #mysme fanfic #mystic messenger fanfiction #mystic messenger fanfic #jujuw23d4 #jujuw23

[ynverse]

bf! yoosung

YOOSUNG x gn! reader | headcanons

a/n: i do not simp for him but lw i folded with some of these ! this is mostly for my oomfie loml hibs <3

bf! yoosung who begs you to play LOLOL with him and calls it a date

bf! yoosung who always wants to match profile pictures and has a million screenshots of your profiles whenever you agree, all of them in a special album he labeled “y/n <3”

bf! yoosung who always has to be physically touching you so he’s often clinging to you

bf! yoosung who falls asleep on facetime whenever you study together but still manages a sleepy “i love you”

bf! yoosung who perks up immediately whenever you’re mentioned, always bragging about you to everyone and anyone

bf! yoosung who always burrows his face in your neck to hide his blush every time you compliment him, his heart rate increasing so much that he think’s you’ll hear

bf! yoosung who always says goodbye with a kiss on the cheek and a small “i’ll miss you”

bf! yoosung who drops everything as soon as you text so you get his undivided attention

bf! yoosung who buys animal crossing for you both so you can have more realistic e-dates

bf! yoosung who wags his imaginary tail every time you surprise him with a cup of coffee/tea while he’s doing homework, always thanking you with a smile

#yoosung x reader #yoosung kim #mystic messenger #mystic messenger fanfic #mystic messenger x reader

[kurooblossom]

「PERFECT FOR US」 한주민

ALSO AVAILABLE ON AO3 | MASTERLIST 

➤ Word Count: 2,158

➤ Pairing: Jumin Han x reader

➤ Tags: canon continuation, established relationship, f!reader, fluff, spoilers for Jumin’s good ending + route in general, probably ooc 707, protective Zen (😂)

"Move over! Mr. Han is leaving." One of Jumin's personal security guards hollered, pushing reporters out of the way as Jumin neared the edge of the stage.

Although Jumin's big exposé was over, the reporters' cameras continued to flash, capturing every movement the businessman made. At that moment it was like Jumin was one of the many rockstars she had seen on TV. The mob of reports desperately pushing and shoving one another for another picture of Jumin on stage. Jumin didn't seem fazed though. A calm and collected expression plastered across his features as he neared the edge of the stage that overlooked the party hall.

"I've given you the story you want, so now I will step down from the stage and go see Y/N," Jumin announced, slipping the black microphone back onto the stand with the smallest of smiles on his lips. "Enjoy the party, everyone."

"...What did I just hear?" Jaehee gasped next to her.

Her golden brown eyes widened, an uncharacteristic look of panic painting Jumin's assistant's features.

"If I heard right..." V began, leaning over slightly towards Jaehee and Y/N so they could hear him over the crowd. However, his words were cut short by the crowd despite the closer proximity.

Almost as quickly as the look of panic crossed Jaehee's features it was replaced with one of exasperation. With her free hand, Jaehee tiredly rubbed her temples, sighing.

"Did he really have to say where he's going in the middle of this chaos..."

V wearily smiled. Unlike Jaehee, V's expression remained neutral. Whether from expecting such things from his long-time friend or merely not bothered by the chaos, neither Y/N nor Jaehee knew.

"Follow Jumin Han! Right now!" One of the reports exclaimed among the sea of reporters.

"Mr. Han is on his way. Give him some space!" Another one of Jumin's security guards hollered, pushing the crowd to the sides as Jumin followed closely behind.

The sea of reporters that Jumin invited continued to go rabid. Pointing out Sarah, Glam Choi, and Y/N before concluding his public statements to the media, over half of the room was set on getting some sort of comment from the three women along with Jumin and Chairman Han. Pushing and shoving, yelling, whatever they needed to do, the reporters were doing it.

Across from where Y/N stood, Yoosung yelled something she couldn't catch, but soon Seven joined Yoosung at his side. Then the other RFA members lined up around her, creating a human barricade from the reporters. Zen, who was a little ways away from everyone else in RFA, was trying to draw attention to him to lessen the crowd pushing toward her. Jaehee and V stood directly in front of her, attempting to speak to her as they did so, but their words failed to reach her.

Nervously, her fingers played with the ruffles that ran along the lower half of the dress Jumin gifted her for the party. The lights, the hollering, the pushing, it was all so sudden and too much. Unlike Jumin or even Sarah, she was just an average girl up until several minutes ago. Hell, she wasn't even a part of the group of people that she now called her friends up until roughly two weeks ago. She was just living an average life not too long ago and now here she was.

The pounding of her heart echoed in her ears as the reporters shouted her name. Her legs subconsciously carried her backward as they continued to push toward her. When the cool wall pressed against her back, her eyes widened.

She was backed into a corner. Literally.

“Jumin…” She whimpered quietly.

What on Earth was he planning now? He managed to get rid of Sarah and Glam Choi, so he longer was tied to them privately or publicly. Why did he need the reporters to follow his movement now? Why did he draw attention to her? Why did–

“You wore the dress I gave you,” Jumin’s voice cut through the noise as he approached the RFA members, a soft smile on his lips as his gaze focused on her while everyone stepped aside for him. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t come see you as soon as I came.”

Jaehee stepped forward slightly, peering over Jumin’s shoulder as she spoke.

“Mr. Han… you’re not going to do anything right now, are you?” Jaehee asked uneasily, eyeing the raven-haired male and then the reporters.

Jumin didn’t respond. His gaze for a moment lingered on her figure before panning to each and every member of the RFA, seemingly ignoring the presence of the reporters. He hummed in what could only be described as satisfactory when his gaze fell on the final RFA member, noting that they were all there.

"Everyone, thank you so much for everything." Jumin began, meeting everyone’s gazes before they fell onto her once more.

His eyes softened as they met hers. His dark gray orbs shined happily, starkly contrasting how they looked days prior.

"Y/N, I missed you." He continued, his voice gentler now that it was directed at her. "You waited long, right? I'm sorry about all the fuss."

"It's okay," Y/N softly smiled, fingers releasing the ruffles from her dress.

"I hope you realize how much you need to be appreciated and loved." Her brows furrowed, once more Jumin’s actions and words not quite making sense that night. "There's a whole audience out there for you now..."

Carefully, Jumin's gloved hand took her left hand, his grip gentle like he was holding the most fragile of glass. The room erupted into loud whispers and gasps, the sound of camera shutters was almost deafening as the flashes were blinding. Every angle of the two was lit up in some fashion as Jumin kneeled down before her, bringing her dainty hand to his lips, pressing his soft lips to her knuckles.

His eyes closed as his lips lingered there for a moment. His demeanor was the calmest and most assured she had seen since before the two had finally met in person. While all eye's in the room were on them, the flashes and various sounds did nothing to waver Jumin’s resolve as his eyes opened once more and met her own.

“Y/N, you’ve opened a new chapter in my life.” Jumin began, his voice was loud enough for her to hear and some of those around them. “I love you so much. And I want you to always be with me forever.”

The room grew silent as Jumin spoke, everyone on the edges of their metaphoric seats, waiting to hear what the illustrious Jumin Han would say next.

“Will you let me...to be your life companion? My love.”

She didn’t know it was possible, but the flashes and sounds of cameras grew harsher. Each and everyone one of Jumin’s invited ‘guests’ was desperate to get the newsworthy photo the second it occurred. Everyone surrounding the two waited with bated breath for their news headline.

Overwhelmed with all the surge of emotion now pumping through, hot tears formed at the corners of her eyes. The good, the bad, and everything in between from the last couple of weeks and that night coming forward. The one thing all her emotions had in common was him.

She was dragged into their world unexpectedly all thanks to some hacker. However, that same hacker brought her to the same people who have made her nothing but happy since allowing her into their inner circle, allowing her to meet the love of her life. They had talked every day for the last couple of weeks, and despite the life-threatening circumstances, they were some of the best couple of weeks ever thanks to him.

Jumin is unconventional in many ways, but he is also reliable because of it. He is strict, but also caring. He is passionate and dedicated. Their time together may have been short but it was nearly impossible to see her life like it was before he came into the picture anymore.

“...Yes.” She managed out, just barely keeping back her tears.

The crowd erupted, whether, in cheers or dissatisfied moans, she didn’t know and didn’t care. Regardless, their loud reactions faded out as her lips connected with the C&R heir as her shaky knees gave out beneath her, closing the distance between the two. Jumin’s arms wrapped around her body with ease, catching her and lowering her to the ground without breaking away from her lips.

“Thank you,” Jumin murmured against her lips, pressing another peck to her lips. “You’ve made me so happy.”

She couldn’t help but giggle against his lips. The last thing she expected coming into the party that evening was for there to be a big exposé, a sea of reporters, and least of all to be proposed to. Yet there she was. Jumin’s arms wrapped securely around her waist, his lips eagerly chasing after hers as reporters surrounded them, forgetting momentarily about Sarah and Glam Choi.

Eventually, Y/N was pulled back to the reality of their situation as Jumin’s warm touch completely left her. However, it wasn’t for long though because after exchanging words with one of his guards, Jumin’s arm slipped around her waist. Gently pulling her in the direction of one of the backrooms, Jumin slipped into what she could only call work mode as he and his bodyguards pushed past the reporters.

Soon enough, the two made it to their desired destination and Jumin’s grip on her waist loosened. His arm completely left her body when the RFA members managed to make their way through the door, tired and exasperated looks painted across their features. Zen was the first one of the group to recover, and of course, he made a beeline directly toward the couple.

“Y/N!” Zen exclaimed, worry painted across his face. “You know you can say no, right? You don’t have to do whatever he wants.”

Yoosung, who also recovered surprisingly quickly, was close behind Zen.

“You said yes because you wanted to, right Y/N?” Yoosung added.

“O-Of course!”

Seven, much to either her pleasure or displeasure, was the next to recover and join the ever growing group. Happily, he slung his arm around lazily around Yoosung and smiled.

“You guys should congratulate the happy couple!”

“You just think this is your chance to get your grubby hands on Elizabeth.” Jumin deadpanned.

“You’ll let me watch her on your honeymoon, right?” Seven smiled innocently.

“No.”

“Y/N!” Seven whined, turning to her with the biggest puppy dog eyes she had ever seen.

“I don’t think I can help you,” Y/N nervously sweated.

While Elizabeth was no longer Jumin’s emotional crutch, realizing that she was indeed just a cat, Jumin kept the mindset of only certain people should be allowed to keep her. A certain hacker did not meet the standards he held before and most definitely still didn’t. He was only willing to give her to V after all.

“You’re sure you want to marry a guy like this, Y/N?” Zen frowned, changing the subject back. “You haven’t even known each other that long. He could be a bad guy for all you know…”

“It’s true that they haven’t known each other for too long.” Jaehee thought out loud, as she and V joined the group.

“How long has it been?” V asked, trying to recall how long it's been.

“Ten days since she infiltrated RFA and three days since they met in person.” Seven answered matter-of-factly.

“Why can you just recall that without missing a beat?” Y/N nervously asked.

“Isn’t that too little time to decide to marry someone!?” Zen cried, pulling her attention back to the actor.

“Time is relative,” Jumin replied simply for her.

While Zen’s concern wasn’t wrong, neither was Jumin. For most people, the pace Jumin and herself were moving at was way too quick. However, Jumin wasn’t just anyone and she wasn’t either nowadays. During the short period of time they’ve spent together she managed to not only fall in love with him but get a glimpse into what life with the C&R heir would be like. He came across too strong at times but he has shown to be capable of learning and adapting among other things. She had no desire to go back to life like it was before and making a new life with Jumin was very appealing to her. So why not?

“For others maybe…” She said, after thinking about what Zen said. “But I think the decisions we’ve made for our situation is perfect for us.”

While she was focused on Zen, she didn’t miss the way Jumin’s lip twitched upward at her words. Silently, Jumin’s hand reached out and took her hand into his, intertwining their fingers together.

“...How can I argue with that.” Zen sighed tiredly.

#jumin han x reader #jumin x reader #han jumin x reader #mystic messenger x reader #mysme x reader #jumin han fanfic #han jumin fanfic #jumin fanfic #mysme fanfic #mystic messenger fanfic

[introverted-scribblings]

Cosplay || (Yoosung x Reader)

This was initially self-indulgent but I loved it so much that I'm sharing it here. I hope you all like it! This (can be) connected to my "seamstress MC" headcanons.

Notes: Fem!MC (w/ implied brown hair) and a love for the Legend of Zelda series. (wc: 1558)

“I totally don’t believe you,” one of his guildmates laughed through through the game’s voice chat. Yoosung couldn’t help the frown on his face and roll of his eyes.

Some of his online friends, the ones he met through LOLOL, refused to believe that he had a girlfriend now. However, in their defense, sometimes Yoosung himself found it hard to believe that MC was dating him. Of course, MC would flick his forehead and kiss his nose every time he told her this. “Hush, Yoosungie! I’m proud to be your girlfriend, okay? I love you so much!” She would pout.

This particular time, however, the disbelief was strengthened by Yoosung’s comment that MC wanted to cosplay with him. Apparently, the fact that MC shared common nerdy interests with him was “proof” that his girlfriend was fictional. “You’re just jealous,” he scoffed into his mic.

“Yeah, sure,” his friend laughed. “I’m jealous that you have such a wild imagination.”

Yoosung’s brow furrowed in frustration.

“Hey, someone is starting a raid!” Another teammate called out and the subject quickly changed.

It was a while later when Yoosung finally logged off, hanging his headphones on the little stand that MC had gifted him. “To keep them nice and the cord untangled!” she had told him.

Standing and stretching, Yoosung found himself walking to the little kitchen in his apartment where he found his wonderful girlfriend heating water for tea. “Yoosung,” she smiled when she saw the blonde enter. “Are you done for now? Would you like some tea too?”

“Sure! And yeah, I’m done for today I think. One of my guildmates was being annoying,” he sighed, causing MC to giggle.

“Do they still think I’m made up?” She laughed. Yoosung only pouted. He had complained about this to her before, and while she found it a little funny it was clear that he was feeling particularly upset about it this time. “Hey…” Her voice softened as she set another cup on the counter for him. “It’s okay, Yoosungie. I promise I’m very real and really in love with you~”

Yoosung could feel his cheeks burn. He couldn’t help it whenever MC said those things. “I know,” he sighed, watching her pour the boiling water into their two mugs. “It just bothered me this time because I told them you wanted to cosplay with me…” he trailed off but MC motioned for him to continue. “They said I was making it up because there’s no way I could get a girlfriend who has interests like that.”

MC scoffed. “Well that’s pretty rude,” she tutted. “They’re just jealous, Yoosung. Next time, I’ll get on the mic and chew them out!”

Yoosung laughed at the adorable pout his girlfriend wore. “It’s okay, MC. You’re right, I shouldn’t let them bother me. Their opinion doesn’t matter.”

MC smiled. “Exactly! By the way…” she pulled her phone from her pocket and opened it up. “I’ve decided who we should cosplay!” Turning the device, MC showed him a picture of the two characters she chose.

Yoosung recognized them of course. It was the green-clad hero, Link, and princess of Hyrule, Zelda. Though he didn’t play the games himself, he was aware that MC did and was a big fan of them. He’s listened to her talk about the games for hours, going into their lore and real life history. She was always so excited when she spoke about them, and he lived for the passionate sparkle in her eyes as she did.

“I thought Zelda had blonde hair…” he questioned. Not that he minded the choice, of course, he would happily be the hero to his princess.

“She does normally, but in the game Twilight Princess she’s a brunette,” MC explained with a grin. “Please, Yoosungie? You would make such a handsome Link and I’ve wanted to cosplay Zelda for so long! Please~?”

Yoosung’s blush came back tenfold at MC’s words. Would he make a handsome Link? He wasn’t sure but MC certainly thought so. Still, he’d already made his decision when she asked the first time if he would cosplay with her. “Of course, MC! I already said I’d dress as anything with you,” he chuckled, trying to ignore his burning cheeks.

“I know, but I want you to have fun too,” she said, tucking away her phone.

“I know I will,” Yoosung smiled. “I’m happy to be your hero, MC.” He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead and she giggled.

“Thank you, honey~” MC turned back to their mugs of tea. “Go sit down and I’ll bring you your cup, then I’ll give you a crash course on cosplay.”

*~*~*~*

MC spent the next two months working on their costumes. Ordering pieces, buying cuts of fabric, stitching and restitching hems. The late nights Yoosung spent gaming, MC spent at her sewing machine. There were fittings and pinnings and measurements taken.

Yoosung couldn’t possibly be more impressed that MC was able to craft two intricate and detailed costumes in the short span of two months. Though he really shouldn’t be surprised, she managed to plan a big and successful party in only eleven days. She was a determined worker for sure and a true inspiration to him.

And when the costumes were finally ready, she asked him if he’d be willing to do a photoshoot with her. “My friend is studying photography and agreed to take pictures of us if she’s allowed to use some for her project,” she explained. “And I would love to get some nice pictures of us together!”

How could Yoosung possibly say no? He couldn’t. And he wouldn’t, certainly not after all her hard work. She was even loaning him her replica Master Sword for the photos! There’s no way he would turn this down. Not in a million years.

The day of the shoot came. MC’s friend was picking them up and taking them to a location they had scouted beforehand. As Yoosung got dressed in the handmade tunic, he felt a flurry of nerves in his chest. He hoped he would look good in the cosplay that MC had spent literal months on. With a deep breath, he looked in the mirror.

He never noticed it before, but with the pointed ears and colored prescription contacts that MC had gotten him, he really looked the spitting image of the hero of Hyrule. Twisting and turning, Yoosung tried to get a good look at himself from various angles. MC truly was a master when it came to sewing.

“Knock knock~” MC called from behind his bedroom door. “Can I come in?”

“Oh- Yeah! You can!” he called back.

Yoosung could feel the breath leave his lungs when he saw her.

If his tunic was well made, MC’s dress was absolutely perfect. “Wow…” he whispered. The crown on her brow shone like real gold, the delicate embroidery that ran along her dress gave her a subtle elegance as she moved towards him. Her hands, covered in long white gloves, held the sheathed replica sword. “I was right,” she smiled. “You do make a very handsome Link.”

Yoosung blushed and looked away, her beauty and compliments too much for him to handle. “Th-thank you… You’re a very beautiful Princess Zelda…” He wanted to say so much more. That she was the most stunning person in the world. That her beauty was there in and out of cosplay. That seeing her like this was enough to make his knees weak and his heart race.

MC smiled. “Thank you,” she giggled. “Here, it’s dangerous to go alone…” she placed the sword in his hands. “...take this!”

Yoosung laughed along with her at the spoken line before her phone chimed from her bag on his floor. “Oh!” she grinned. “That must be our ride! Let’s go take some pictures, Yoosungie~” Picking up her bag, she took his free hand and tugged him out of the room.

*~*~*~*

It was a few days later when MC’s friend sent her the polished up photos. Yoosung was in awe of how nice they looked. It truly looked as if they stepped out of the game itself and into the real world.

Among the poses they had done, there were a few candid shots that were taken that day. Including one of their gentle embrace after MC had fixed his hat, their eyes were closed and their foreheads rested against each other. They were smiling. Yoosung remembered that moment well, all the love he had in his heart for MC as she introduced him to something so fun. Something she was so passionate about that she wanted to share with him.

It was clear that MC remembered it too as that picture ended up as her phone wallpaper after she had sent it to the RFA chat. Everyone was impressed, even Jumin said something nice… well, as nice as Jumin could be.

Yoosung was very happy. Happy that he could do something so fun with his girlfriend. Happy that the pictures looked so nice. Happy that their friends liked the pictures. Happy that MC had fun. And of course…Happy to make his guildmates eat crow when he sent some of their pictures. Including a cute—maybe a little smug—picture of MC showing off her wallpaper of the two of them. His girlfriend was very real and very cool.

#mystic messenger #mysme #mystic messenger x reader #mystic messenger x mc #mystic messenger x you #mystic messenger x y/n #mystic messenger fanfic #mystic messenger yoosung #mysme yoosung #yoosung kim #yoosung x reader #yoosung x mc #fanfic #short fic #fluff #fluff writing #x reader #x you #x y/n

[shewrotesomething]

The Day He Realized He Wanted to Marry You (Zen)

Despite his confident demeanor, Zen had plenty of insecurities about his looks. After all, years of verbal abuse won’t disappear overnight. 

No matter how many times he would tell everyone he was perfection embodied, a little snake in his head would always tell him he’s just fooling himself. That all along, his parents had been right and he was on the wrong path. 

These fears will never be voiced, especially not in front of you. 

Even on the days he would ask you, “Jagiya, isn’t your boyfriend especially beautiful today?” and you’d look at him with a delighted smile, that snake would come slithering into his head a few moments later.

There was a day, however, when that voice… Well, it wasn’t silenced completely, but at the very least, it gave him a foothold for bad days.

He still remembered that morning. It was a particularly warm day. He had rehearsals for a movie, and you were off to meet with an old classmate.

“I mean, do you really have to go?” he asked.

You were in the mirror, fixing your hair. “Hyun, it’s not a date. It’s business. He has a fiance for crying out loud!” you shouted with a chuckle.

“You can never tell until the knot is tied… and even if it is you can’t.”

You looked over to him with half a glare. “Our party is in a month and he has excellent connections. Connections that will make excellent guests.”

That was exactly why he felt uneasy about it. If he had excellent connections, he’s probably a rich businessman who’s got a way with words.

“It’s going to be an hour tops and then I’ll drop by your set. We can have dinner together.”

“Promise?”

“Absolutely,” you said, sealing the promise with a kiss on his cheek.

And so, you two went off to your own businesses. 

It was strange though. He knew it would take you more than an hour to get to the set, but he didn’t expect you to be 3 hours late. Besides, whenever you were going to be late for anything, you never failed to update him.

The director called a wrap and so he called you. You didn't answer. He called and called and called. Each time that your phone went into voicemail, he was growing more paranoid. 

What if… you enjoyed your childhood friend company too much?

All those promises he said after the incident. That he’d protect you. That you were the most important thing to him. That he wanted nothing more than to be with you. That his biggest fear would be for you to disappear… What if that was coming true today?

Stay calm. Your phone could be faulty, out of battery, you could be at home.

He was about to rush home when one of his co-star’s personal assistant’s stopped him.

“Thank goodness I caught you.”

“I’m kind of busy, what is it?” he asked, a bit too harshly.

“The hospital called us, they said MC was in an accident, they’ve been trying to reach you but they don’t exactly know how.”

He took a cab to the hospital immediately fearing the worst. Hating himself even more to even consider that you were off having fun with someone else.

“Ah yes. There’s no need to worry. There was a collision with a biker and resulting in a dislocated kneecap but the doctors were able to fix it with no problem. The anesthesia is wearing off so go ahead.”

And he did. There you laid on the bed talking to one of the nurses. The nurse had a smile on her face.

“All I’m saying is… like… you know like fruit? Yeah… like, if fruit takes like...like... more than 2... if it takes a lot of steps for you to do the thing, what do you do?”

“You eat it?” asked the nurse.

“Yeah yeah yeah yeah. That. If it takes more than like… yeah 2 steps to get to good stuff. Not fruit… It's bad fruit.

The nurse spotted him. “I think someone is here to see you,” she walked towards him. “Just a heads up. Anesthesia has a way of making people a bit too honest,” she warned before leaving.

“Thank goodness you're okay,” he told you with a sigh of relief.

Your eyes squinted to look at him. Your hands stretched out your hands and he held out his own, but you swept them away. Instead, you gestured for his face to come closer. 

Zen knelt down to do as you wished. With both hands cupping his face, your eyes lit up in recognition. “Ah… I know you.” 

He chuckled. “I certainly hope you do.”

You nodded to yourself. Pleased. “Uh-huh, you’re my beautiful boyfriend. My beautiful boyfriend is here.”

His heart melted at that. “I’m here.” Placing his hand over your own, he found the absence of a ring an issue to be remedied. 

#mystic messenger zen #mystic messenger fanfic #mystic messenger #mystic messenger hyun #mystic messenger mc #mystic messenger reader #zen x mc #reader insert

[wrrrenff]

Morning Music

Mystic Messenger Zen x F! Reader Synopsis: You woke up before Zen that morning and decided to make breakfast. Warnings: none Gif credits to the creator!

You and Zen have been together for about a year, and you were loving every single second. You and Zen were both constantly doing things and finding out information about each other that just made you both fall that much more in love with each other. The moment you appeared in the R.F.A. Chatroom all that time ago and started talking with the scarlet eyed man, you felt such a strong connection to him. You could tell he felt it too.

After about 4 months into your relationship, you decided to move out of Rika's old apartment and move in with Zen. At that point you had stayed overnight at his place most of the time so it was only natural. Over time, you and Zen started seeing new sides to each other, you even started to pick up each others habits. They just made you both fall even deeper in love. Just like this particular morning.

You and Zen went long and hard last night causing you both to sleep in, something quite rare for the both of you. Zen usually woke early to get a start on his daily exercise and you are just naturally an early riser. This morning you woke up before Zen. God is he a gorgeous sleeper. The sun shining on his face perfectly and complementing his chiseled features nicely. You could sit in bed and just stare at him for hours.

After contemplating whether or not to get up, you decided it would be best to make you both some breakfast. So, you got up, slipped on a baggy tee shirt, your favorite pajama pants with the ducks on them, and put your hair up into a quick messy bun.

Zen is a pretty heavy sleeper so you decided to put on some music while whipping up your meal. As you started to prep your ingredients you started to sing along to the song coming from your phone. It was your favorite song after all, how could you not? Usually you didn't sing around the house. Zen is such an amazing singer that you felt nervous singing around him. You didn't have a bad voice but it was nowhere near the angelic notes that danced out of him. As crazy as it seemed, you were scared Zen would judge your voice, so you only ever hummed around him and sang when he was out for work. You were in your own world, chopping veggies for your breakfast, singing, and dancing that your were completely unaware of the silver haired man watching you.

Zen stirred from his slumber by the sound of a pan clanging in the kitchen. When he noticed you weren't in bed with him, he got up to look for you. As he left the bedroom, the image he was met with took him by surprise. As his eyes met the scene he couldn't help the toothy grin from appearing on his face. You were quite a sight to take in after all.

Zen was going to greet you but stopped, wanting to take in the moment. His eyes grew large at the sound of you singing. He could have sworn he had heard your singing voice before, but as he scanned his memories he came up short.

“Wow! She sounds great! Why has she never sung around me before” He thought.

His heart felt full at the moment. Your (h/c) hair in its disheveled bun, your big shirt and pajamas that made you look so tiny, and the radiant smile as you sang. He couldn't believe he was dating such an amazing woman. He was so tempted to get his phone to record this moment, but decided against it to avoid potentially getting caught. Instead, he just stood there savoring it all. Every time you did a little dance, when you pretended that the wooden spoon in your hand was a microphone, and even the little faces you made when trying to hit certain notes just made him completely smitten. He couldn't sit and watch anymore.

As you were in the zone, practically putting on your own private concert, your eyes grew with shock as you heard a booming voice joining you in song. Quickly, you spun around finding Zen waltzing in with a giant goofy smile on his face as he sung with you.

“Zen! You scared me! Oh no, did I wake you? Was I being too loud” You got anxious wondering how much of your one woman show he had seen.

“Not at all. Besides, you put on quite the show.”

“Oh no.” You thought as you suddenly felt your face start to burn.

“Say, jagi, how come you never told me you could sing?”

“W-what? I can't sing at all. I s-sound like a dead cat!” You playfully smacked his arm.

A confused look grew on Zen's face. “Are you kidding? Your voice was great! And don't even get me started on those adorable moves you've got.”

You buried you face in you hands. At this point you were sure your face was as red as a tomato.

“I know it sounds dumb b-but I'm embarrassed to sing in front of you.” You went to look at Zen, but as soon as your eyes met his, you averted your gaze. Zen couldn't believe what he just heard. He would never judge you about anything. Nothing you do could make him love you any less than he did.

Zen let out a small laugh and lifted your head from your hands so that he could look you in the eyes “Jagi, your voice is beautiful. And even if you did sound like a dead cat, I would still want to hear it and duet with you every single time.”

God you love this man. How did you get so lucky. You knew it was stupid to think the way you did but he knew just how to erase any doubts you might have had. You quickly pulled him into a tight embrace, followed by a passionate kiss.

“Your the best, you know that. I can't wait to share many a duet with you, my love”

“And I you.” You kissed once again, both of you feeling the love you share for each other pouring out of you. You then went back to cooking, Zen helping as best he could even though you already had most of it prepared, and you both broke out into song and dance once again. You could believe how much this man loved you, but you wouldn't trade him or his love for anything in the world.

#mystic messenger #mystic messenger zen #writing inspiration #mysme #mystic messenger fluff #mystic messenger fanfic #zen x reader #zen x mc #zen x f! reader #fanfic #ao3 fanfic #fanfiction #fanfic rec #fanfic writers #fanfic writing #my fanfic #ao3 writer #my fic #ao3fic #this was my first fic ever so its VERY rough

[drawingangel666]

Hello! Can I request V, 707, yoosung, vanderwood and jumin with a s/o with a very high libido? Like has to have sex or at least some kind of orgasm at least once a day?

If you don't write for someone I included it's alright!!

<33

I write for all of them ^^ and I hope you enjoy it.

V, 707, Yoosung and Jumin with a s/o with high libido

Reader's gender: not specified (I will talk saying ´you` so there isn't any pronouns or anything)

Author's note: I have never been interested in Vanderwood until now, and I am not ready yet to write about him because I feel that I will make him to much out of character. (When I started playing he was just a side character no-one had much interest in)

Warning: NSFW, kinda BDSM dynamics, voyeur, etc..

Let's begin!

(NSFW under the cut)

-V

He is really sweet so he might (at first) misunderstand the high libido as excitement

He loves you so much that he will let you do whatever you want

If he is in the mood (which is rare) he will be gentle and slow

(Prob) buys you toys to use when he isn’t in the mood

He will ask to take pictures of you while you are using it (#sorrynotsorry)

NEVER compares you to Rika during any kind of sexual activity

He once said you were better

Sometimes he matches that energy

-707

He might want to match your energy, surely he is drowned in work but he tries to do as much as he can to go with you

You guys have definitely done it in his workplace

He hacks the cameras for anybody who could be watching

He does match your mood when he isn’t stressed

He will ask you to stay under his desk if he sees you really needy

Prob builds you/buys you toys to entertain yourself, gets jealous and throws them away

Likes to watch you through the security cameras if you are “helping yourself “

-Yoosung

Let's be honest, he ain't no puppy. He might be lost at the beginning and might take more time to adapt to your needs, but he won't back down.

He knows what he is doing when he pretends to not understand when you are needy

He might match that high libido in ways that no-one would have imagined

He will take care of your needs personally, but also will do it while he plays LOLOL

Might mute his mic if you guys are having your moment (just might, because I firmly believe that he forgets to do so)

He is gentle and soft with you

-Jumin

He adores it, he matches the energy to a 100%

He will use the cage when he has to work and you are needy (#sorrynotsorry)

Probably he will ignore you when it is `cat-related´work, if not, expect him to really want to do it.

He has a high libido he hid well, ......... until you appeared, now he can't hide it and he is pretty needy

He is dominant, so if he isn't in the mood, he'll tell you to do things in front of him without him participating

Expect getting a revealing cat-related lingerie outfit

#mystic messenger #mm #mystic messenger fanfic #mystic messenger headcanons #mystic messenger v #mystic messenger yoosung #mystic messenger 707 #mystic messenger jumin #yoosung kim #kim yoosung #jumin han #707 #saeyoung choi

[a-muffin-full-of-poetry]

The Rfa gang at the Mc who takes forever to respond because they’re using google translate to understand them (catch me trying to learn Korean from these chucklef*cks).

Having played this game for five years, I can now proudly say I can just about talk to someone about a cat in Korean. Anyways! Thank you for the request, lovely, I laughed out loud when I got this request. This is also mainly just a supposed ‘chatroom’ post. Because I have no idea how that’d work in terms of phone calls so I’m just not going to think about it :))

Summary: you can’t speak or read korean, RFA notice

Warnings: swearing, i’m a sailor i apologise (i’m not but i totally would be i love ships), italics is meant to be korean but we’ll see?

707 MC! You appeared! I’m a wizard, you see that Yoosung?

Yoosung It wasn’t because of that, right, MC? You can’t be that good 707.

Jumin It was not because of 707 Yoosung. So do not worry.

707 No, no. I promise, it’s totally me.

To be honest, you had a feeling the exchange was meant to be quite funny, but you couldn’t quite tell. You kicked off of your office chair, spinning around to your laptop on the table. As quick as you could, you loaded up your laptop and typed in google translate.

Yoosung They’re not even responding to you, HA!

707 Excuse moi! They’re formulating a response to my skills.

MC Sorry Seven, correlation doesn’t equal causation!

Your hands came together as you prayed that Google translate was even a little accurate. As long as it was, you could play it off as being bad at typing.

ZEN Exactly Seven, they came here for MY good looks. Just couldn’t stay away from them, could you babe :) It’s okay, I understand.

Jaehee If that is true MC, I cannot say I really blame you.

Somehow, it always came back to Zen. Not that you minded too much, but you were quick to type in a response to Google and even quicker with your response.

MC As much as I do log on just to see your abs... I’m afraid I’m just here for a couple more party details. Last minute party guest suggestions, some emails to reply to.

During this time, everyone had stopped typing entirely. It had taken a bit longer than you would’ve liked, but you thought it was quick enough.

Jumin I know no one will mention it, but you Korean is quite broken MC.

Rude, first of all. Second of all, you had a feeling, but it’s really hard to understand what they’re saying when they talk really fast. Third of all, that was out of such a left field that you could barely keep up with the influx of messages. You were half tempted to cry type, but you simply took a breath and accepted your defeat.

ZEN Hey, jerk, it’s rude to point stuff like that out. You never know why it’s like that.

Yoosung Jumin... Why would you say that, that was really mean. ;-; ;-;

707 We haven’t been very accommodating. I suppose I can implement a translator... Oh, but it would be rather fun. New toys!

Jaehee I have no idea what you’re talking about as usual, but I can offer my assistance if you need anything MC. I will be busy but there is always an opening for you.

MC Appreciated Jaehee, ilyyyy And yes, I suppose my Korean is quite broken but I have no idea how to write it. So I’ve been using Google Translate.

707 My best buddyyyy!

MC She deserves a pay rise honestly. Well, I thought I was doing well keeping up, it’s why I take an age to respond ;-; And no, you weren’t rude Jumin, you were stating the obvious.

Jumin I see. Thank you MC.

Yoosung You should’ve told us, I feel really bad now. We were just talking and you couldn’t understand.

MC Oh, no, no, no. It’s fine. I’m trying to learn anyway! Elizabeth III is a beautiful cat. See, learning!

Jumin ...

ZEN MC! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU JUST WROTE? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?

Jumin Assistant Kang, is there anyway to print this out? I would like to have this framed.

ZEN OH NO YOU DO NOT.

707 It’s amazing when you don’t have to start anything. I can watch you all. Popcorn, Yoosung?

Yoosung I’m afraid of what happens if I accept that.

707 Good. You should be. MC, would you like different translation options?

MC Oh, yes please! If it’s not too much trouble.

Jaehee I am not the one you should be asking, Mr Han. After all, I really have no idea how to go about doing that. Although I suppose you could screenshot it and go somewhere to have it professionally printed and then go get it framed.

ZEN JAEHEE DON’T ENCOURAGE THIS.

707 Never! Okay, different options, do you want a Duolingo deal?

MC No. That bird haunts me, do not.

Jumin Hm... Thank you Assistant Kang, contact a professional printer. I would like to organise this as soon as possible.

707 One Duolingo bird coming right up!

ZEN What have you done MC?

Jumin As for your Korean MC, I will pay for your lessons and Assistant Kang can organise times for you to attend. Particularly if you continue with your current line of knowledge. It would be excellent to have an intelligent conversation with someone who can appreciate Elizabeth III.

707 But Jumin... I’m right here.

Jumin I did specify intelligent conversation, did I not?

ZEN I will personally teach you Korean if you never say that again.

Seven was probably enjoying a wonderful sight of you almost falling out of your chair from laughing. The robotic-ish voice of Google translate relaying a far more stilted rendition of the conversation you had missed out on to talk to your resident hacker. That plus the current argument was very entertaining.

But when an email flashed up, you remembered why you had originally logged on. The flurry of replies that people had decided to send you had your phone pinging all day. It was going to take a while to sort through them all. Both because translating and then your reply took a while, never mind thinking of something to type back.

And, unfortunately for you, you had to eat at a normal time today. So, you sighed.

MC As much as I appreciate all this, I need to go now. Emails... Work... T_T

707 Noooo!!! 606! Don’t leave me here all alone!

MC I’m sorry! I’ll do better next time!

ZEN Stop being so mean to MC. Honestly Seven. Don’t you know how to speak to a lady?

Yoosung Work...

Jumin It was nice speaking with you MC. My offer still stands, if you would like to get back to me, please call me or Assistant Kang.

Jaehee Or you could simply do it yourself...

707 lololol poor jaeheeee

Jaehee ... ... ...

Jaehee has left the chatroom

707 There goes Jaehee!

ZEN How do you get girlfriends?

707 I don’t ^^

Yoosung Neither do I! Neither... do... Yeah.

MC You will one day!

Yoosung MC!!! Thank you :D

707 Now the only one who needs a girlfriend is Jumin. Then he’d let me touch Elly~~

Jumin I must speak to Assistant Kang about that printers, please excuse me.

Jumin has left the chatroom

ZEN He ran away!

MC And I am too. Emails! Work!

707 Emails! Work!

MC Ha. Ha.

MC has left the chatroom

A couple hours later, you opened the messenger again only to be greeted with a whole new option to help you translate. Paired with a suspiciously familiar looking bird. Although, it was coloured red with Seven’s signature glasses. And it meowed...

In your opinion, it seemed completely plausible that a bird would meow. You just didn’t realise that it would become a little menace you absolutely hated because it never, ever, ever left you alone.

#mystic messenger #mystic messenger fanfic #mystic messenger fluff #mysme 707 #mystic messenger 707 #707 #zen mystic messenger #mysme zen #Yoosung Kim #mystic messenger yoosung #mysme yoosung #jumin han #mysme jumin #mystic messenger jumin #jaehee kang #mysme jaehee #mystic messenger jaehee #mysme saeyoung #mystic messenger saeyoung #saeyoung choi #no technical x reader just gen today #i hated tags so much i still don't know how to use them

[subwaystragedy]

Welcome to Subway's Blog! ‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿

Hi! I'm Subway, a bisexual, ftm, and ND writer! I was born on 06/03, and this blog is an 18+ smut blog containing nsfw/nsft fanfiction. Before you read or request anything, here's some information about what I want for this blog!

‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿

Rules:

No minors or ageless blogs interacting with my post (I dont care if you read them)

Fic request are to be asked in the ask box, do not dm me about them

Ask in the ask box before you dm me unless we're mutual's

No Female Reader ー This is a Male Reader blog only

‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿

Kinks I Won't Write For:

Age Play

Armpits/Acrotomophilia

Branding

Cock Cages/Chastity

(Major/Unrealistic) Cum Inflammation

Fisting

Food Play/Feederism

Formicophilia/Zoophilia

Incest

Gagging

Gun Play

Lactophilia/Lactation

Latex

Macrophilia/Microphilia/Unrealistic Anatomy

Necrophilia

No Aftercare CNC/Rape

Pedophilia

Piss Kink

Pregnancy/Pregnant Sex

Scat

Vomit

Vorarephilia/Vore

Wax Play

Whips/Heavy Impact Play

‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿

Fandoms:

My Hero Academia

Call Of Duty

Jujitsu Kaisen

Obey Me: Shall We Date?

Demon Slayer

Mystic Messenger

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[onlinekitsune]

LET ME IN: SAEYOUNG CHOI

"struggling, but even if you sink, it's fine"

PAIRING, GENRE, WARNINGS ─ saeyoung choi x gnc!reader, so much angst, so much emotional pain and torment?, no warnings really but there's a part he snaps at you if that's something, not proofread

SYNOPSIS ─ after seven leaves the chat, you're reminded that this isn't some sort of dramatic drama. everything you've been told the past few days instantly started falling apart in a matter of a day. the person, you had fallen for, had fell apart in a matter of a day. all you wanted was to see him shine again.

WRITER’S NOTE ─ hi beloveds... i am once again posting after disappearing again. whoops! but to be honest, my interests have succumed to kpop and less of otome games... but exo's new single inspired me to write this soooo... this is inspired by day 6?? of seven's route, i'm not sure?? some of the dialogue was directly taken by it as well btw i will write a comfort side to this, but i'm nervous of not having enough room so... it'll be up eventually. as always thank you for reading, ily!!

all dividers by cafekitsune

The apartment was silent, for the most part. Except the various clicks of the keyboard from Seven. You looked down at your phone. It was still displaying the previous conversation, it was hard to process that you were even part of it. All the things you’ve been told over the past few days felt so very complicated now. The party. V. This hacker. It was all feeling so muddled with each passing second. Your eyes floated towards the window. The evidence of it being smashed in was long gone. It was like it never even happened. But the hacker’s voice and the feeling of his arms around your body still lingered. You were just lucky that Seven arrived at such a convenient moment. A sigh escaped his lips, hovering over the air. You couldn’t begin to imagine how he felt. You didn’t know how you’d even feel knowing that the hacker you were chasing turned out to be your own brother. Your heart ached seeing him so distressed, it was the very opposite of the Seven you knew in the chatroom. 

“God Seven, God Seven! I sense that you are depressed, meow! I automatically turn on when I sense that you are depressed, meow!” A robotic voice called out. “The source of God Seven’s depression is bad service, meow! I analyzed, meow!” A robotic white cat carefully stepped its way towards him. It stopped right in front and even turned its head slightly as if it was waiting for something. Seven’s eyes peered from above his laptop. 

“Please.” he began to mutter. “Just be quiet.” He turned his attention back to his screen and instantly picked up his typing. His fingers hit the keyboard a little rougher, trying to fall back in his almost tranced state.

“Cheer up, meow! Meowy doesn’t lose service, meow!”

“I said to shut it.” he snapped, furrowing at the small cat robot. “How did I turn you off before?” Seven carelessly picked it up, quickly scanning over it.

“Meowy needs to hear Seven meow!” The robot replied in a pur. You nervously bit the bottom of your lip. You noticed the look of desperation and frustration only doubled with each passing second. 

“Oh, that robot… you made it.” You let out, in hopes of de-escalating the situation. Seven took a quick glance up at you. He made sure his gaze didn’t linger for too long but enough to acknowledge you. Another sigh fell from him. He sat the robot down in front of him.

“Doesn’t matter.” He replied. His voice was sharp and restrained from much emotion. Your heart sank into your chest, hearing how cold he could come across. “Meowy, go away. I don’t want to talk to you.”

“I can’t leave until I sense your depression is gone, meow!” It cheered back innocently. Seven’s scowl instantly appeared on his face. He stared bullets into the robot. It was only a matter of minutes until Seven would completely lose his temper and take it out on it. You couldn’t let him destroy one of his creations, especially one that seemed so intricate. 

“Hey… Meowy. Let’s just stay quiet for now, okay?” You whispered, giving a weak smile. It luckily obeyed your request without hesitation. The robot waddled back into the place it originally was at.  A small sigh of relief fell through. You were glad you could get at least one thing in control for him. Seven muttered in response, going back to his laptop. You let the sound of the keyboard fill the air for a bit. You managed the courage to scoot closer towards Seven, who paid no attention. You slightly leaned over the edge of the bed. “Hey, Seven? Things didn’t go so great… with V. Are you okay?”

He looked up from what he was doing, scratching the edge of his temple. “Don’t worry about me.” He paused, seemingly going over his words in his head. “Just… don’t trust V, okay? I know I told you that you could but… you can’t.” Another silence filled the room, with a quick sound of keys pressing. Seven leaned back from his laptop and crossed his arms. "I don’t even think you should be involved with the RFA anymore. I’m sure V only logged in because Jumin told him I was here… He’s obviously worried about me being here. The alarms would only set off if someone like you were to open the drawers. But I’m not… There’s obviously something here he’s hiding.”

You winced just a bit, noticing how hurt Seven was by all of this. It was hard to see someone who was seeming so bright and full of energy be so dull and damper. 

“Are you going to open them?” You posed, fidgeting with your sleeve. All these secrets swirled around in your head. They may have gotten the better of you. But, you couldn’t help but to be curious. You just wanted things to be figured out, to be normal again. The normal you quickly became accustomed to. You missed the silly night conversations with all the members, especially Seven. You would do whatever to see him happy again. 

“Maybe I will. I don’t know.” He responded. Seven closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. “It’s hard to keep myself contained, after my trust has completely shattered.” You went to move even closer to him, but he added more distance between you two. You paused in your place, furrowing your brows slightly. 

“Seven..” you sighed. “Is there really nothing I can do to help you?”

He shook his head, taking another deep sigh. “No, I shouldn’t worry you. I’ll figure out a way to take care of it.”

 “Seven-“

“Look, just forget about the RFA. Forget about the party. You’re only staying in danger by getting involved with all of this. Once I get this resolved… Please leave.” He urged, pulling his laptop closer towards him. The furrow on your face grew in intensity. Even imagining dropping everything you’ve done the past few days was enough to send your aches throughout your body. You had grown so close to everyone. For once, you even felt like you belonged somewhere.

“Why are you trying to decide this for me?” You called out. You understood he was worried for you. But, there was something that kept you wanting to stay. You wanted to see this to its end. You held onto your sweater sleeves tightly, trying to contain your composure. 

“I know more than you do. Especially when it comes to this. This isn’t for someone like you to be involved in. You’ll only end up hurt.” He replied. “Let’s stop talking about this. If you need to know anything I’ll just reply to you in the messenger. Don’t bother me.”

“Seven. You’re being so one-sided, what about-”

“Didn’t I just tell you not to bother me? I don’t care.” He snapped, darting at you. Your breath got stuck in your chest. You didn’t picture Seven ever snapping at you, or anyone really. “You’ve been living with a bomb this entire time, and all you’re worried about is nonchalant stuff… really? At a time like this? Don't you care you’re in danger because of this? What kind of person replies to a sketchy unknown number anyways… don’t you know anything?”

His words pierced through you, and all you could do was to stare straight down. He didn’t know. As much as he thought he knew you, he didn’t. Or perhaps he forgot. You weren’t sure what he was able to find on you. “A person who has nothing to lose… clearly.” you managed to reply. Your lips quivered with every syllable. You felt your throat burn as you held in your emotions. “Did all those times in the messenger… really mean nothing?” The barrier you’ve put up started to waver and crack.

“No. They didn’t. How can you worry about that now? I don’t understand you.”

You didn’t believe him. You couldn’t believe him. Though those messages were just silly messages in a chatroom, they meant something. And not just to you. Your grip tightened, feeling the tears finally stray from your eyes. You were annoyed that you couldn’t hold them back. “I know you’re worried about me Seven. So, please stop avoiding me…”

You went out to reach for him instinctively. He dodged your hand and swept up his laptop. Even if it wasn’t a good idea, you couldn’t help but to feel hurt. You stood a bit across from him, just staring. 

“Stop... after this is done, you’re not going to see me again. Don’t waste your emotions on someone like me.” he muttered. You couldn’t help but to look up at him. Your eyes easily glazed over seeing that he was completely avoiding you now. The moment felt like as if you two had been frozen in place. He took a second to pause, laptop in hand. Before taking a final glance at you before stepping past. “Don’t look at me like that. I’m going to work in the hallway, don’t bother coming after me. Sort your emotions.” He added and without a single word, the door closed. You turned to face it. Its barren face taunted you, knowing that he wouldn't be coming back in. You flung yourself back onto the bed, faltering back to the tears. Your body felt heavy as you let your emotions run through. Slowly but surely allowing them to guide you to sleep.

#mystic messenger #mystic messenger fanfic #mystic messenger oneshot #mysmes fanfic #mysmes oneshot #saeyoung choi #707 mystic messenger #707 mysmes #luciel choi #saeyoung choi x reader #saeyoung choi x mc #saeyoung x mc #saeyoung x reader #707 x mc #707 x reader #saeyoung choi angst #mysmes angst #mysmes

[xelasrecords]

As One So Half

Han Jumin x MC

Jumin goes to V's house after burying him, marking the first time he visits without his friend waiting on the porch.

Based on the Secret Ending with some changes, most notably the MC being romantically involved with Jumin instead of Saeyoung. How differently would Jumin grieve if he had someone by his side?

CW: graphic descriptions of death and grief

Words: 6k

Masterlist Read on AO3

Grief had hung upon V and him for as long as Jumin could remember. At times, it was a shadow lurking in the dark. Other times, it was a crushing weight that broke his ribcage in. From the moment Jumin crashed his toy car into V's house and V bargained for his friendship in exchange for forgiveness, they had invited grief to sit with them like a premonition. Their friendship started with an accident and ended with one.

The clamour at Mint Eye still reverberated in Jumin's ears. How his security guards broke through the cult doors and he caught a mop of turquoise hair on the ground, stupidly relieved that V was finally within reach and Jumin could ask him everything he had been holding back. How the relief was brusquely cut with terror when it dawned on him that it was V, sprawled on the floor, unmoving.

Jumin had rushed in and almost slipped in his own friend's crimson blood, finding purchase on his still warm hand and feeling for his pulse and came back with nothing. He had pulled V into his lap and saw V's head drop without resistance, noticed his chest not rising and falling and thought the sensation of it unnerving. He had pressed on V's gunshot wound, willing the blood to stop flowing. No words could come out of his throat. He closed V's clouded mint eyes with stiff fingers and both knees in the pool of blood.

The blood was warm and had soaked into his dress pants. He could still feel the fabric clinging to his legs.

When he registered the pandemonium around him, Rika was already keening below the gaudy throne and Saeran had crumpled into a foetal position, a gun inches away from him. Saeyoung had fainted and was hauled by a brown-haired stranger. The new party coordinator was scrambling at V's pants pocket, her cheek streaked with blood. She's alive, Jumin had thought dully. Saeyoung was wrong. V didn't betray her. Jumin could not reach for her despite his heart. His limbs had petrified on the ground V died on.

Jumin saw V dead over and over. He saw V in the shower where he stood underneath the water, diluting the blood from his three-piece suit and rinsed away what was left of V from him. He saw V in the bed where the fifth glass of wine had muffled his senses but failed to put him to sleep. He saw V at the funeral before they closed the casket, his face frozen in a serene smile as if there was anything peaceful in being shot to death.

That was how Jumin lost V for the final time. He would not see him again.

Jumin stood alone in V's living room now and he didn't know where to start. There was no user manual for clearing up one's dead friend's belongings. His hand hovered over the light switch before rendering it useless. The harsh tangerine sunset cut through the open windows and washed the rustic room aglow. It was enough lighting and a reminder that V was gone. V would have paused with awe on his face and took a photograph.

Jumin had come over right after V's burial, and restless silence had greeted him where V's earnest welcome should have. The refrigerator hummed from the dark kitchen, the grandfather clock ticked on, and the brine in the cool breeze pricked at his skin. The quiet was deafening, devoid of the laughter that he was used to.

It wasn't just the house. The anxious chitter in Jumin's head had deadened as well. It used to thrum without end when V started to disappear and come back as if everything was fine two years ago, but Jumin could always detect the nervous fiddling and the melancholy that weighed him down. He had begun to lose V since then. He simply didn't know it yet.

Two years was a long time not to know peace, and there was no peace in the aftermath. Only resounding emptiness remained. For two years, Jumin had been living with fear fused into his bones that he couldn't recall another way to live. Two years of being on high alert, wishing V would put an end to it.

V finally did now.

Jumin knew the logical conclusion was that he was grieving, but he was a distant observer watching his grief engulf him. Nothing was as heavy as this sorrow, as the tether of his soul being cut in half. He couldn't see the end to it, this grief that had started since V was alive. Each time V returned from his long absences, he was more damaged, more changed, and there was nothing Jumin could do to help.

He almost missed the days of fearing for V's safety when V was at least still alive. If Jumin focused on the well-being of the RFA and the mess Rika left behind, he could feel normal, as if nothing had changed. He could delude himself that none of this was real. It was easier to handle practical tasks than turn to his emotions, easier to care for others than himself.

Jumin walked past a line of small cacti on the bookshelf and headed to the brown leather sofa, grazing it with his fingers. He could almost hear V telling him to sit down, wait here, as he made a fuss in the kitchen over which wine he thought Jumin would enjoy the most. Jumin would then say that all wine was enjoyable with the right company and V was the best company anyone could have. V would modestly shrug it away, but it wouldn't stop Jumin from reassuring him that he was worthy of the title.

V was not here anymore, yet Jumin hadn't lost the ability to predict his moves like he could predict his own thoughts. No matter the secrets V brought to his grave, he was still the friend that Jumin knew. But if V had in him a semblance of the friend that Jumin was familiar with, shouldn't he have been able to read V's mind in the past few years?

He would never forgive V for leaving on his own.

Slowly, Jumin walked and stopped outside V's bedroom. Though the white oak door was wide open, he couldn't bring himself to take another step. He hadn't been aware that the last time he entered would be the last. V's arm had been slung around his shoulder as he hauled him into bed. Jumin remembered V chuckling drunkenly, hopelessly, pleading with him to keep it from Rika.

He had known something was wrong then, but assumed V would confide in him in his own time. Jumin had faith in his friend and clung to the hope that it was reciprocated. What hope it was. Some lessons you could only learn not merely after hitting rock bottom, but after you were dragged across the serrated surface and bled out alone.

Jumin leaned his head against the door frame, watching dust motes drifting above the unmade bed. He wished they had met up more often. He should have hunted V down for even one night of conversation over wine. However disappointed Jumin was in V, his yearning to tell him of his pain was even greater. For years, V had been the first and only person who came to mind when he wanted to talk, and that had not changed.

"You've abandoned me, V," Jumin murmured under his breath.

He could forgive V for almost anything, but not for leaving him alone in a world where he was already alone.

Suddenly, he felt a light tap on his shoulder, and he closed his eyes. For one second, he could pretend it was V about to tell him that his death was just another lie he concocted to cover up a greater evil. This lie he would forgive. He would give up nearly all his possessions for the one person who shaped all that was human in him, who then took it with him when he left. Jumin was only masquerading as a person on the outside; his soul had drifted somewhere he could not follow.

But the hand on Jumin was too reverent and not at all like V's. It was the hand that had brought him to his feet after the paramedics wheeled V's body away, the hand that held him tightly as if he would break if she let go. He would not. Not in front of everyone. He never learned how to, and there were people to take care of.

Jumin fixed his tie, braced himself for another wave of bad news, and turned around.

But the party coordinator cut in before he could speak. "Everyone got back safely from the cemetery," she said. In the shadowed room, the rings of exhaustion beneath her eyes were barely noticeable. She hadn't changed out of her black mourning attire—a silk ruffle blouse with sleeves that cinched at her wrists and a long skirt that flared down to her calves. "Rika went with Yoosung and Zen, Saeyoung returned to the hospital for Saeran, and I just got off a call with Jaehee. She was brewing coffee at her home."

Her method of mentally tracking the members was not unlike his. Jumin couldn't deny his gratitude for the familiarity and her concern for them. "And you're here at V's home," he commented. "I suppose this could be a safe place for you. I used to find it a sanctuary myself."

"Is it still?"

"One would think I'd hate coming back to my dead friend's place, but I can feel him here." He let the rough texture of the wallpaper scrape the pads of his fingers. There was a faint maroon stain against the beige where V had spilt his wine while laughing at Jumin's office anecdote. "He might have built this house for him and Rika, but everything here speaks of him, even the things he got out of devotion for her. They are still his devotion. In the safety of these walls, V lives on."

Perhaps he didn't come here to sort out V's belongings. His subconscious might have led him here to seek shelter from the disasters in the ghost of V's warmth. His spirit could even linger here. Jumin longed for a sign that his fascination with the occult would be proven true.

Her eyes swept through the house, taking in the mismatched antiques that V dearly loved. Jumin wondered what impression they left on her, if she could see what he saw and felt what he felt. "Do you think he's saying anything right now?"

"If he does, I cannot catch it. He's too distant from me to predict," Jumin said without inflection. "It wasn't always like this."

She studied him—not with pity, he noticed with a muted surprise—but sorrow. It felt too much like a burden that he had to change the subject.

"Have you ever had to bury someone you love?" he asked.

She faced ahead. There was a remote look in her eyes that pulled her from the present as if she was reliving a bygone time. At that moment, she felt almost as distant as V was. Jumin did not know yet how that would feel, but he realised with a pang that she had known unbearable pain, and wished he had been there for her. "Yes," she said. "I wanted to claw them out."

He did not quite share her feelings. Rather than unearthing V's corpse, Jumin wanted to revive him through the debt of unfulfilled promises, or necromancy. But here was someone who understood. He wouldn't take her for granted. He had lost enough in this life.

"It must be suffocating inside," Jumin noted.

She nodded. "It's probably good that he can't feel pain anymore."

Jumin didn't have to ask which he she was referring to. "I would've been happy for him if he didn't leave a mess behind."

"I heard what you said earlier when you blamed him for leaving without you," she said, watchful gaze seeking a change in his expression. "Did you want to go with him?"

Jumin's jaw tightened. "I want him not to go at all."

"He must have been special for you to love him that much."

Jumin scoffed. "He was definitely extraordinary, to have wreaked this much havoc in the RFA. V is—was complicated. Despite all the things he'd done, I can't see him as anything but a good friend, but the magnitude of his faults isn't something I can look past either."

"I think he tried to do good at the end," she said. "I was there when he tried to right his wrongs. I saw his sacrifices, but we can't neglect the casualties and how he dealt with things. I wish he understood that one poor decision could snowball into something too massive to handle alone."

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions." It was an axiom that Jumin came across when he was young, but its meaning never dawned on him until he was forced to see it in V's downfall. "Trying to understand V is like reading a book you love upside down in a mirror. Deep down, you know the story is one that you keep close to your heart, but you struggle to make sense of it when the words are jumbled. It's hard for me to accept that V had changed so thoroughly without my knowing."

She rested her back against the doorframe, stretching out her legs until their toes almost touched. "It may be that he was neither good nor bad. It's impossible to box people into two rudimentary options."

Jumin laughed mirthlessly. "Oh, he was no doubt a bad parent to the twins."

She sighed. "A child should be loved and protected, and it's always more important that they feel your love. It's not their job to constantly convince themselves they're safe and loved. It should be easy for them to know how much love they deserve without worrying it would be taken away if they're not good enough." There was a frown between her brows that Jumin itched to ease out. "It wasn't just V, but Rika too. One through passive neglect, the other active violence." She put her hands into her skirt pockets, her voice softened. "Do you hate the twins? Saeran?"

The mention of Saeran was a blow to his gut, as it did whenever he imagined Saeran firing the gun at V, a scene that he never got to witness. Jumin was not sure if it was good that he never did, for now he was left to forever wonder how V felt in his final moments. The loud bang was all he heard when he stood outside the locked gates, and his desperation to get to V was the only thing that kept him upright on his feet.

"V failed the twins. Half of his failure is mine, and I consider it my duty to finish what he started," said Jumin in a tone that brooked no contradiction. "The RFA is family. That includes Saeyoung's lost brother. I have to protect them. You've seen how much danger they're in. I would've helped V if I had known. I have the power and resources at my disposal." His gaze strayed to the unopened Romanée-Conti bottle on the copper side table in the living room. Jumin had gifted the wine to V after a trip to France, but he never got to taste it. There were a lot of things V would never get to do. "I would have, if only he'd asked."

She unhitched herself from the wall and stepped closer to him. In all bewilderment, his breath halted. He had thought it impossible to feel anything but numbed anguish since V died. "You have a remarkable capacity for forgiveness and an even more remarkable heart, Jumin." She laid her palm on his chest, right on top of his beating heart. "I've always admired your compassion—I haven't forgotten how you flew back home the minute you knew I was living with a bomb—but you still surprise me with how good you are. Not everyone can do what you do, and you do them without being forced. Among all the people I've met, you're one of the kindest. No wonder V chose you as his best friend. I would too."

Her words were awfully gentle and soothing, urging him to pull her into his embrace and let down his armour. It was such an outlandish desire that Jumin found himself almost reaching for his phone to inform V about his latest emotional development, the realisation catching up a second late that V's phone was in his possession now, that it would just ring in his pocket and he wouldn't hear any more Jumin, it's you. How is Elizabeth the Third? and he wouldn't exhale in relief because V sounded fine, there was nothing wrong with him or their friendship, and he could finally sleep without relying on wine.

The deepest wound V left behind was the loneliness Jumin didn't know he was capable of feeling. He could not reminisce about V with anyone because no one knew him exactly like Jumin did. No one knew V used to have a spark of mischief in his eyes that he would cover up by feigning innocence and everyone but Jumin would fall for. No one knew V used to laugh with abandon when they snuck out of their childhood homes and raced to catch the sunrise breaking over Han River. Even Jumin's impeccable memory might not stand a chance against time. He might forget the sound of V's laugh as age corroded him. There would be no one to keep V alive after he passed.

Jumin put away her hand, not daring to indulge in the feel of her skin. "You give me more honour than I deserve."

"Because you don't give yourself enough."

Jumin stared at her with bleak despair. "Have you ever thought that I may not want to choose him back? That if I could go back in time, I may not want to begin this friendship with him, knowing how he would end?"

She tilted her head and watched him sadly. "V kept the contract too."

"The contract the two of you signed when you became friends. He kept it in his pocket." She carefully unfolded a yellowing paper from her pocket and handed it to him.

Jumin blanched. Whatever argument he was about to launch dissipated into thin air.

"What?" he croaked, the question scratching at his throat.

With trembling hands and quick strides, Jumin brought the paper to the windowsill. The sky above the slated roof was a fiery blaze that burnished their childish signatures with orange light. Jumin could feel the flames of fury licked at him, though for what he couldn't reason. It was V keeping yet another secret when Jumin thought he had lost his copy of the contract. It was the guilt of swearing not to forgive V when V had cherished him until his end.

Jumin bowed his head over V's barely legible handwriting, scrutinising every swoop and slant that dictated the start of their friendship. I hereby declare myself a friend to Han Jumin. At the end was a measly drawing of a toy car in green ink that had faded with time. There was dried blood staining the edges of the paper, blood both new and old.

"Why are you giving this to me now?" Jumin asked tersely.

She stood by his side. "I thought you wouldn't want to see it with everyone around."

Jumin couldn't peel his eyes away from the paper. The words were starting to morph into one another. It was the shortest contract he had ever signed. He had thought it effective. Now he wondered whether the contract length was directly and infernally proportionate to the period of their friendship. He should have included a clause to prevent his idiotic friend from doing anything that tempted death.

Jumin clutched the broken contract to his chest, hunching over it like it was V's lifeline, his breathing quickly becoming erratic. There was an awful pressing against his ribcage, a grotesque need to grieve with emotions bursting out of him as he had implored V to do when he thought V was mourning for Rika, but he couldn't. He had locked himself in this glass prison for as long as he could recall, and now he was paying the price. Thick, unscalable walls closed in around him. No matter how hard he pushed, he could not break through. He could not cry.

His best friend had died and he could not shed a tear.

"It's okay if you can't cry. It's okay," she muttered close to his ear. "You're not wrong for not crying. I know you're hurting. You don't have to prove that with your tears."

His breathing was out of his control. The sea air was choking him. He wanted to check on his cufflinks and tie clip and whether the tuck of his shirt was perfectly even on all sides. He wanted to fall to his knees.

He felt an arm around his shoulders and a hand gripping him, enveloping him with a warm, decadent scent that he always associated with her.

"I was supposed to go first," Jumin heaved out, words tumbling out of his mouth before he could stop them.

She stiffened. "What do you mean?"

"I was supposed to go first," he said. "When we were teenagers, V promised he wouldn't die before me. He'd always been reckless and I was afraid of losing him, so I made him swear an oath. I thought I could keep him alive if I tied him to me."

Her face contorted in pain. "It's not your fault, Jumin. You can't change his decision when it's not yours to change. V has chosen his path and you can't follow him. You can't."

But Jumin wasn't listening. "For years when I forgot how to be human, I only ever had to turn to V as my reminder. He was my mirror of truth. In the steadfastness of his friendship, I found the conviction in myself that I am human, that I am capable of being generous and kind and all the things you mentioned. I can only stand before you and be the person you admire because of V. I owe him my entire life, but it is not much of a life to live when he won't be there to see the end of it."

"It's still your life. That is important." Her fingers slid up his jaw and cradled his face with tenderness. It was the closest Jumin ever got with anyone, the most loving touch he had ever received. It made him want to simultaneously shatter into pieces and pull himself together. "I wish V knew how loved he is. I can see how much goodness he inspired in you, and you in him. I'm sorry you lost him so soon. You should have had more time."

"I thought we put in each other the same amount of faith," Jumin said. "I thought our shared history meant more to him. I knew he had secrets and trusted that he kept them with the best intentions. That trust was misplaced."

"You trusted him because he gave you no reason to doubt him. It is as you said. How could you have known that your closest friend went behind your back when all he had been was good to you?"

"I don't know." Jumin's reply was a whisper of a broken boyhood dream. "Twenty years I have called him my best friend and gloried in the truth of it right before my eyes. Now I don't even know how to be without him."

"Oh, Jumin." Her hands slipped to the back of his neck and held him close. Soft wisps of her hair tickled his cheek. "You will learn. It will be tough, but there's no other way. You just live through it, one day at a time. But know that I'm here with you."

There was no one who could see through him as well as V did, no one who could understand him with a single glance and infinite patience. Jumin wondered if he would catch V's exact shade of turquoise on anyone else's head. He wondered if he wanted to.

"Thank you," Jumin mumbled into her neck, allowing himself to stay in that position for five seconds, counting them in his head, before pulling away. "I must ask you something. How did you know that V had the contract on his person?"

She hesitated. "It fell out when we were locked in the cult prison and Saeyoung... hurt him out of anger. I saw V putting it back into his pocket. It was the first thing he salvaged when Saeyoung stopped. I'm sorry I couldn't stop him. I tried to shield V but Vanderwood dragged me back."

A bolt of pain struck Jumin when he realised it was how V got the bruises that he inspected on the cold metal table in the mortuary. And another when it hit him that she might have got injured during the commotion.

Jumin grasped her elbows and scanned her figure, wondering if the long sleeves and skirt were to cover up the bruises. "Were you hurt?"

She seemed startled but quickly recovered. "Not intentionally."

His stomach dropped with dread. "Then why did you intentionally throw yourself before someone who meant harm? Have you no concern for yourself?"

"I thought the kicks were getting too much for V," she said. "And for you. Your heart would break if you saw him so battered. He didn't even try to protect himself, Jumin."

"Neither did you, it seemed."

"Better I get hurt than him. He was already so weak. He couldn't anticipate the blows because he was blind. I don't think he even wanted to. He just lay there sputtering apologies and claimed all Rika's faults as his." The arch of her chin was a challenge, and in it, Jumin saw the quality that attracted him to her, not that he would mention it at the moment. "Tell me you wouldn't do the same."

He was starting to suspect he gravitated to a certain type of people. "That is hardly a fair comparison," he gritted through his teeth. "You don't know him like I do."

"Do I have to befriend someone to protect them?"

Jumin shot her a sharp look. "You should have known the danger you were in."

"And I know you love him!" she snapped.

Jumin was stunned. She was not one to lose her composure, least of all at him.

"You love him," she said again, lower this time, "so I looked after him."

"God." Jumin put his palms over his face, trying to ignore the convoluted pain that twisted and thrashed in his chest. Yet another person he failed to take care of, added to his list of failures. It was a short list, but the guilt would stay for a long while.

"Jumin," she said. "I know my limit. And it was Saeyoung. Beneath his anger was grief. I had to trust that he wouldn't do anything deadly to me. Besides, he's apologised and I've got myself checked up. Only bruises. Nothing fatal."

Jumin's hands fell to his sides. "Only?" he said incredulously. "He could have caused serious harm to you."

She lifted her brow. "Do you prefer V to take the brunt of it instead?"

Jumin stared at her in disbelief. "You can't do that. You can't be like him and sacrifice yourself recklessly to save people. Do you expect me to be grateful if my peace is paid with your blood?"

"It was quite strategic, actually," she said. "We split the pain between us. Not at all reckless."

"Don't you start."

She pressed her lips together, dissatisfied.

"I just wish to protect all that I care about," Jumin said. "I never want you or him to get hurt, but he did and now he's dead and there's only you left, so I can't"—he choked, pain lancing through him like wildfire—"I can't lose you either."

She closed her eyes briefly then took his hand, pressing it against her cheek. "You're not losing me. I'm alive, right here," she said. "When I was at Mint Eye, I could hold on because of you. I was thankful that you weren't there, that you were safely out of reach. And then you burst through the doors. I was horrified. I didn't want you to see V like that. I didn't want you to be near those elixirs and weapons." She kissed his knuckle, the softness of her lips sending shivers up his arm. "I'm just as afraid of losing you."

Jumin brushed a thumb across her cheekbone, guilt and helplessness roiled in him. "I'm sorry for getting angry. It isn't like me to lose my temper."

She shook her head. "You also just lost your best friend. Grief can pull out the worst in us and make us do things we don't normally do."

He sighed. "V has a salve here somewhere," he said stiltedly, unsure how to act in the face of kindness so unexpected in times like this. "Let me tend to your injuries. It's the least I can do."

She smiled. "Later. Let's not be too eager to get me out of my clothes."

Jumin nodded and placed the contract on the side table, tucking the edge beneath the Romanée-Conti. Somehow Jumin could tell she was being honest. She had never shied away from the cold truth, and it didn't seem like she was about to now. He didn't think he could bear it if she treated him like a fragile thing the way everyone around him seemed to.

A framed picture on the wall caught his attention. It was a photo of V and Jumin in their school uniforms sitting in the car, Jumin looking sullen while V sporting a wide grin. V was still an amateur photographer then, so the picture had more ceiling than boys.

Jumin remembered that day as vividly as the sting of chilli that had burned his tongue. V had been on a rebellious streak and dragged Jumin to ditch Driver Kim after school for a cup of tteokbokki by the street. While the rice cakes had a strange, pleasant chewy texture, their digestive systems were unprepared for the unhygienic street food.

It was the most horrendous stomachache Jumin had ever experienced.

After snapping the picture, V had fallen asleep on his shoulder while he recited his defence arguments for V, knowing only the harshest scolding was waiting for V at home. But V was stubborn. He would always pursue more adventures, and wherever V was, there Jumin was as well.

Jumin missed the weight of V's head on his shoulder, the feeling of V trusting and depending on him. They were always Jumin and V, V and Jumin, two inseparable boys who tried to make their gold-spun lives into something bigger than themselves but found solace in one another instead. They understood each other's familial pains and knew the right things to say when one was hurting. They made each other better just by existing.

"Did V mention me when you were with him?" asked Jumin.

"I'm sorry," she started, and he immediately wanted to stop listening. "He only blamed himself and talked about stopping Rika by giving himself up. But that doesn't mean he didn't care about you." She gestured at the contract. "That itself proves it."

Jumin thought he would be hurt, but there was only numbness inside him. "What were his last words?"

"Something about always being with Rika like the sun. How she was the love of his soul."

Jumin chuckled bitterly. Of course V would weave nonsensical poetry at his dying breath. He recalled his speech at the party a couple of days ago. Many people ignore the inconvenient truth for the sake of being comfortable, but true happiness only comes when one has faced that inconvenience. Now faced with the blunt truth, he found no joy to glean from it. He would never know V's final thoughts about him. In the end, even the truest truth couldn't bring V back alive.

"You said V has chosen his path," said Jumin, staring past the swaying grass outside, "but the path he walks on is a lonely one, and he walks it alone. Didn't he know that I would've carried his burden with him?"

But even as he spoke, he knew it was precisely why V couldn't confide in him. V, who would take every problem upon himself, who wouldn't let anyone suffer in his stead, whom Jumin wouldn't call Jihyun again because V hadn't permitted him to.

He could wait forever for a chance to call him Jihyun. He was still waiting for it.

"I'm confident he knew," she said. "He'd have to be blinder than he was not to see how selfless you are."

The corner of Jumin's mouth quirked up, but it wasn't a smile that reached his eyes. "V was the selfless one."

"It's not a competition."

He glanced at her. "Do you think he's reincarnated somewhere?"

The temperature was dropping as night approached. She shifted closer to him. "If he did, I hope he'd live a peaceful life."

"No," Jumin said adamantly. "He's done too many awful deeds to be reincarnated as a human. He should be an animal. A cat would be fitting."

She frowned. "I thought you liked cats."

"Humans and cats are two different things. I like cats. I have no desire to be one." His mind was set. V must be reincarnated. Only then Jumin could meet him again and forgive him. "I'll be on the lookout for emerald cats in case it's V. I'll provide him with everything he needs. He won't have to put himself in danger again."

If there was anyone Jumin loved more than himself, it was V. There was nothing he wouldn't do for him. And if V was threatened with a loaded gun, there was no saying that Jumin wouldn't take the bullet for him. How could he hate V for doing something that he would do himself? Perhaps they were more similar than he thought.

"Elizabeth the Third would welcome a green friend," she agreed.

"Of course." Jumin fixed the lapel of his black suit. V had bestowed Elizabeth the Third with her majestic name. There was nothing in Jumin's life that V had left untouched. "I need a drink."

Her eyes flitted from the childhood picture to him, her face mirroring the unending pain that wrapped around his heart, and he knew she had seen through him. "I brought wine," she said. "But first, dinner. I'll be disappointed if you let my cooking go to waste."

"You're caring for me," Jumin said. "You have been since the beginning. What an odd feeling. No one has ever cooked for me aside from my chef and V." He observed their elongating shadows on the hardwood floor, how they melded into the looming darkness in the room. "My utmost appreciation. That applies to your care for V as well."

She simply nodded and twined her chilled fingers with his.

Outside, the boiling red sky was dissolving into black. The sun hung low over the violent waves crashing against the cliff. She clicked on the light switch, and Jumin watched the light reflected off the picture frame glass, obscuring V's and his youthful faces. He followed her to the dining table, feeling like an intruder in his dead friend's home, listening to the ghost of their laughter over clattering plates from another time, silently willed him to come home, then pulled out a chair for her and ate in silence.

Footnotes:

Sunset as the atmospheric setting was logical and metaphorical. Timeline-wise, this fic is set a few hours after the burial took place at around noon. The metaphor comes from how V, the self-described sun, has died. The sun has to set now. It was a fun challenge to portray a scenic sunset alongside the dark theme of grief. But hey, beautiful and depressing are a perfect description of V.

This is the most planning and note-taking I've ever done for a fic because it closely follows the canon events! The bullet points, annotations, personal arguments and analysis are LONG.

It's also my most planned characterisation for MC. I usually figure out their personality as I write, but since I replayed the Secret Ending, I'd known I wanted to give Jumin someone who understands grief and loss and knows how to navigate the conversation without being too pushy. He's so lonely there. He doesn't know how to reach out and nobody can be there the way he needs.

My initial plan was to make this fic Jumin-focused without an MC, but then she entered the scene and from the way their interaction was going, it would've been wrong not to make them have feelings for each other for a while. I meant to show that love can coexist in your worst grief, and sometimes you find out how loved you are through those who stay after the external noise dies down.

Used Jumin's line at the funeral "he was a good friend, a good teacher, and a mirror of truth. I will never forgive you for leaving on your own" as a guide for his reverent and bitter sorrow about V. The usage of mirrors in his dialogues was also inspired by this.

I reflected on why Jumin directs all his resentment to V when Rika did even worse things, which isn't a very rational thing to do unlike what he believes, until it occurred to me that it's normal. Grief doesn't make sense. His emotions are bound to be all over the place when he just lost his closest friend whether he realises it or not.

Actually, I added Jumin and MC's argument during the later edits and it just felt right. We know Jumin is capable of outbursts when he's anxious, like when he confronts V on Jaehee's route or when he slams his hand against the wall to trap MC on his.

Jumin may think that as a kid, he was the one who followed V everywhere, but I think V would disagree. V craved friends and expressed it more than him. It was V who asked for the friendship deal after all.

Jumin tends to use metaphors i.e. the analogy of Yoosung watching V painstakingly pick apples and the concept of his dark threads, so I thought it wouldn't be OOC if he came up with the rock bottom and book-in-mirror metaphors. And, this man had been friends with V for decades—their linguistic choices were bound to seep into each other's to some degree.

The reincarnation idea came from the reincarnation trope in kdramas! I think Jumin, an avid soap opera/drama watcher, would find it fascinating.

Header Corner:

I caved. I've never put this much effort into a header. I wanted to find the balance between the raw grief and Jumin's modern sophistication, hence the strong gradients and sleek font. The movement is minimal, the text is small, the vast space is hollow, and the music is stripped down to 2 simple chords, all to instil the emptiness that Jumin feels.

The colours have double meanings: blue for the sea / deep sadness, and orange for the sunset / bitter anger and intense concern.

When the scene opens, the orange and blue lights take up the space, slightly touching before they part. It's Jumin's denial of V being dead, still calling for him while being anxious and miserable. Then the realisation sets in. Orange shifts to red in Jumin's stubborn refusal to forgive while blue disappears to make way for the dark, engulfing isolation.

Here are some alternative style frames before I decided on the current one!

Music credit: Sad Piano Music (no copyright) by Tushar Sharma

Buy me a glass of something that's definitely not coffee because I can't stand it but it is the website's name if my story touches you in some way? No worries if you don't. I'm still grateful you've read all the way through here.

#i've wanted to write about this since 2016 but didn't know how to approach it and do it justice until now #xela writes #jumin x mc #mystic messenger #jumin han #mystic messenger fanfic #jumin han angst #mysme #jumin han fic

[yoosungisbabie]

right there - day five

@juminweek2019

jumin x mc

rating: T

prompt: words of affirmation

warnings: mentions of alcohol consumption, Jumin is drunk ♡

word count: 2,764

ao3 link

“Me? Would you like me to talk?” she guessed, blinking quickly as she waited for his answer. “No,” he replied simply, leaning down to press a short kiss to the inside of her wrist. Her whole body felt hot, a non-verbal sputter coming from her lips in shock. “I would like to talk about you."

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“He’s asking for you.”

“Me?” she asked in disbelief, standing from her couch and looking around momentarily in panic. Eventually, she gathered her thoughts and rushed over to the door. 

“I was also surprised,” V laughed. She heard clattering in the background of the call, her eyebrows furrowing on her forehead as she felt her head fill with questions. 

“Is he okay?” was the first thing she asked, shoving her shoes on her feet and grabbing her coat. 

“I think he’d had about two and a half bottles of wine before he called me,” he replied, sighing quietly. She could tell how worried he was, even though they had only spoken in person a handful of times. She was just as concerned, rushing down the hallway and pressing the button to call the elevator repeatedly. 

“Jumin, she’s on her way,” V said, slightly raising his voice. She pressed her phone closer to her ear to listen, unable to make out what Jumin said in reply. 

“Yes, I’ll send someone to pick her up,” V laughed, his voice getting distant as she guessed he’d pulled his phone away to text someone. 

Stepping into the elevator, she chewed on her bottom lip anxiously. Jumin and her had only met a few times; the first time at the first RFA party she’d worked at and the second at an RFA meeting they’d held a month or so ago. Her mind felt hot as it worked into overtime, trying to think of why he would want to see her of all people. His best friend was already there, so why did he need her as well? 

It wasn’t as if she felt put out by the request; she would do anything for her friends. But that begged the question if she still considered Jumin as just a friend. It was hard to deny that she was attracted to him. How could she not be? He was the perfect gentleman, and when he smiled at her, she felt as if the world had stopped spinning altogether. These uninvited feelings are what pulled her off her couch so quickly, and they kept her pacing in the lobby as the driver V had sent made their way to her. 

On the way there, it began to snow harder, and she had started to assume the worst as to why Jumin had decided to down so much wine in one sitting. Her stomach had bottomed out with worry, and she felt another jolt of anxiety as V’s called ID popped up on her phone just as she arrived at Jumin’s apartment building. 

“Hello?” she asked, hearing a rustling followed by a deep hum. She immediately knew that Jumin was on the other end of the phone, her eyes being drawn up towards the top of the building as she entered and was greeted by security.

“MC, it’s me,” he breathed. She could immediately hear the difference in his voice, a small smile stretching on her lips as she stepped into the elevator. She wasn’t enjoying his self-destruction in the slightest, but his deep, husky voice was something she couldn’t complain about.

“Hello, Jumin. Are you alright?” she gently asked, watching the elevator ascend slower than she would have liked. 

“Not in the slightest. I would like to see you,” he said sternly, making her bite down on her tongue before almost laughing. 

“I’m in the elevator, Jumin. I’ll be there in less than two minutes,” she responded, tapping her foot in anticipation. 

“My elevator? The elevator to my penthouse?” he asked, making her smile at just how out of it he seemed even though he was still speaking so politely.

“Yes. I’m almost there,” she smiled, eyeing the security guard beside her as the elevator settled at the top floor. 

“Perfect,” Jumin said before promptly hanging up, making her do a double take at her phone before forgetting about that and stepping through the doors. 

“Mr. Han,” she heard down the hallway, seeing the grand door to his apartment open and Jumin step out. His eyes searched the hall until he saw her, his path clear before V stopped him with a hand on his arm. 

“Why are you restraining me?” he wondered, frowning at his best friend. 

“It would be better for you two to talk inside,” V explained, smiling sheepishly at the security guards as their expressions ranged from clueless to amused. 

“It hardly matters where–”

“Jumin,” she called, approaching them and seeing Jumin’s face soften. 

“There you are,” he sighed, immediately reaching for her. She offered a hand, watching as he took it with both of his and seemed to lose some of the tension in his shoulders. 

“I’m here. Should we go inside?” she asked, ignoring how her heart was barely stuttering by and focusing on escaping the eyes of the crowd of security guards. 

“Yes. Yes, that’s a wonderful idea. The best idea I’ve ever heard,” he nodded, blinking slowly at her as he shot V a look and moved to walk past him, one of his hands still tightly wrapped around hers. She gave V a weak smile, hearing him say a few things to the guards as he closed the door behind them. 

“Thank you for coming,” Jumin spoke, bringing her attention back to him as they moved further into his extravagant penthouse. She looked around, stumbling a little when they moved onto the plush carpet encompassing the living area. 

“I don’t mind,” she started, watching Jumin gesture for her to sit. She obliged, his hand still holding hers as he unsteadily lowered himself beside her. His legs were pointed towards her, a tired smile settling on his lips. She rubbed his hand a little to soothe both him and herself, drawing his eyes to where their hands had landed on the couch.

“Can I get you anything, MC?” V asked from behind her, startling her slightly and making Jumin tense. 

“Uh, tea? Tea would be nice. I think Jumin needs a minute,” she said, turning to talk to him and giving him a knowing look. V nodded, hooking a thumb towards the kitchen to let her know where he would be. 

Turning back to Jumin, who had started running the pad of his thumb along the backs of her fingers, she cleared her throat. 

“Jumin, is everything alright?” she wondered softly, watching his movements pause. 

“If you’re asking about why I have consumed so much alcohol, I would rather not talk about it,” he muttered, making her heart fall at just how disappointed he sounded. Pressing her lips together, she reconsidered her approach. 

“Is there anything you would like to talk about?” she continued, feeling goosebumps run up her arms as he turned her hand over, pulling it onto his thigh and beginning to trace the lines on her palm.

“You,” he whispered, her eyes shooting to his in surprise. 

“Me? Would you like me to talk?” she guessed, blinking quickly as she waited for his answer. 

“No,” he replied simply, leaning down to press a short kiss to the inside of her wrist. Her whole body felt hot, a non-verbal sputter coming from her lips in shock. 

“I would like to talk about you,” he clarified, her whole body rigid as he pulled back and met her eyes. 

“About me?” she repeated, her words choppy and hoarse. What was going on? Where had this come from?

“Indeed. Everything about you is so inviting,” he started, spreading her hand open so that he could press his hand against hers. He evaluated the size difference, humming thoughtfully as he released her hand. When she didn’t move it, still frozen, he placed it back in her lap, smiling warmly. 

“Unfortunately, I don’t think there is any chance I won’t become completely enamored with you. I might already be at that stage,” he continued, making her eyes widen at the gravity of his words. 

“Did I say unfortunately? If I’m honest, I feel that it’s anything but unfortunate,” he mused, looking down at his lap. She was torn between feeling over the moon and feeling guilty. She didn’t know if he truly wanted her to hear this. Should she plug her ears? Ask him to stop? 

“You do?” was all that came out, her lips pressing together again as she stared at him. He nodded once, meeting her eyes briefly before looking away again and sighing.

“A part of me wishes I didn’t feel this way, but I cannot help the fact that I do,” he began again, making her tilt her head as she quietly waited for him to continue. “Every past experience has warned me against this, but everything about you makes me want to say yes.” She swallowed thickly, watching him fiddle with his cufflinks as his mind worked on gathering his thoughts. 

“And you’ve given us no reason to distrust you,” he continued, finally meeting her eyes and catching her off guard with the adoration she found there. He sighed, his eyebrows drawing together as he looked her over. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, and she swore that was the nail in her coffin. She was in just as deep as he seemed to be, pressing a hand over her mouth as she felt her ears begin to burn at the tips. 

“I vowed not to be swayed by looks like my father,” he murmured, a deep-set frown moving over his lips before he closed his eyes and shook his head. “But I don’t believe that was what drew me to you, even though it is a true statement. You are very pleasing to look at, which makes me appreciate you all the more.” She stared at him, seeing the drunkenness manifesting in his cheeks as a slight blush, his eyes sparkling and his jaw more slack than usual.

“Jumin,” she breathed, restraining herself from giving in and listening to anything he had to say. “I don’t know if you should be telling me this,” she said, watching his eyebrows twitch downwards. 

“I have wanted to tell you this for many months now,” he said, his response catching her off guard. 

“Really?” she said before she could stop herself, watching him break into a smile again. He held out his hand, and she hesitantly reached out, watching as he held it carefully in his own. 

“During our most recent RFA meeting, you told us about your thoughts for the next party,” he reminded her, and she nodded, happy to think about anything but the way he was looking at her. 

“Right, I, uh,” she started, clearing her throat. “I told everyone that I wanted to change a few things for our next party and see how it went.” Jumin nodded enthusiastically. 

“It was right then,” he smiled, and she stared at him. “It was at that moment that I knew I felt more for you than I had ever felt for anyone before,” he explained, making her press her lips together to stop her heart from landing in his hands. She blinked at him in shock, trying to find words but coming up short. He held her gaze for a moment, his grip on her hand tightening by a fraction.

“I am resigned to the fact that you do not feel the same, and that is not something that needs to be changed,” he went on, making her heart stick in her throat as it slightly broke. His expression was one she would never want to be responsible for putting on his face.

“It will be painful, but—”

“No, Jumin. No,” she said quickly and maybe a little too forcefully. He blinked at her, searching her eyes before continuing. 

“It’s alright, I assure you,” he reiterated, making her grip his hand tightly. 

“No, Jumin! I…well, I feel the same way. About you, I mean,” she got out, hoping she didn’t look as scared as she felt. She never thought in a million years that these words would be coming out of her mouth, especially not to him. 

Jumin’s face melted into a dark expression, one she wasn’t familiar with. 

“What?” he choked out, unwavering in the way he was keeping her gaze. She panicked, ready to take back what she’d said but stupidly running headfirst in the opposite direction.

“I really, really like you, Jumin,” she barely managed to say, feeling both of them grip each other’s hand tighter, perhaps subconsciously. He continued staring at her, and even though his expression could make someone cry, she decided to keep going, hoping it would help him feel better if she explained a little. 

“You are wonderful, Jumin,” she began, seeing the tension in his shoulders remain stiff. “Even though others have a hard time seeing it, you’re incredibly kind. You’re thoughtful and considerate, I just think that you don’t have a chance to show people very often. You’re so smart and also very funny when you want to be,” she said, unable to help the smile growing on her lips. She hadn’t noticed how his expression had dissolved, his shoulders dropping as she looked past him in deep thought. 

“You’re just such a lovely person, and I wish people were able to see that–Jumin?” She stopped, looking down as he reached forward with both hands and gently gripped her upper arms. Finally meeting his eyes, she found that he was affected by what she’d said, his eyes sparkling and his smile wide. 

“Can I hug you?” he asked, making her stomach leap in her abdomen. 

“I-yes? Of course,” she said through a nervous laugh, leaning forward as he pulled her closer. She wrapped her arms around his middle, feeling his hands slip across her back as she rested her chin on his shoulder. Jumin seemed to deflate against her, taking a broken breath before releasing it slowly and moving closer to her. 

She closed her eyes, settling into his warmth and wishing they could stay like this for a little while. 

“I hope you know how much your words mean to me.” She blinked her eyes open, glancing at the collar of his shirt as he began tracing small circles into her back. “For someone to see even a glimpse of the real me and not run…” He trailed off, his hands stopping as she sighed sadly. 

“Every part of you is beautiful, Jumin,” she whispered in reply, feeling him laugh through his nose more than she heard it. 

“I apologize. I understand that I am drunk and not myself at the moment, but I just thought about kissing you,” he said suddenly, making her eyes widen as her hands tensed into fists against his back. “But that can wait until I am of right mind and you give me your permission.” Knowing he was right, she chided herself for the disappointment that rang through her. 

“Wait,” he muttered, placing his hands on her waist and pushing back from her. He remained close, glancing down at his lap in thought as she felt her heart running marathons in her chest. 

“Am I too inebriated that I won’t recall this in the morning? I think that would be the worst possible outcome,” he said softly, his eyes widening in worry. She blinked at him and then smiled brightly, placing a hand on his cheek and feeling the warmth underneath his skin. He blinked rapidly, looking up at her in muted surprise. 

“If you forget, I’ll remind you,” she smiled, seeing him place his hand over hers. He pursed his lips in thought, his eyes not leaving hers. 

“I might not believe you,” he pointed out, making her snicker a little and consider it.

“If it takes a million retellings, I’ll make sure you believe me,” she rephrased, slowly taking her hand away as he began to unintentionally lean toward her. 

“It’s a deal,” he smiled, laughing hoarsely and placing a hand on her knee. She held back a bigger smile, seeing him look down at where he’d set his hand with tired eyes. 

“How about we get you some water?” she offered after taking a moment to admire him. She would have never thought that a late-night call would end like this, but she was hardly complaining. 

“Yes, my love,” he replied quickly, making her gape at him and watch as he stood, waiting for her to join him. She shook her head in disbelief, standing to meet him and taking the hand he was offering her as she desperately tried not to show how much those two words had completely ruined her.

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thank you all so much for reading! every single reblog and comment makes my day!! i hope you know that <3

tomorrow is the last day, so stay tuned for that! thanks again!

Mel x

#my writing #mystic messenger #jumin #jumin han #mysme #han jumin #juminweek2023 #mysme fanfic #mystic messenger fanfic #jumin week 2023 #jujuw23 #jujuw23d5 #help hes the sweetest #i really enjoyed writing this one #i love him so much

[ynverse]

jumin’s fluff alphabet

JUMIN x gn! reader | headcanons

a/n: okay mayhaps i wrote a lot... but i am his soulmate and he told me it was okay!

A = Attractive (What do they find attractive about the other?)

❥ jumin is demiromantic because i said so (he just like me fr) ❥ he would fall for your heart and personality above all else ❥ the genuine concern are care for him and others...his trauma and him folded ❥ psychically? he loves your hands. specifically your left hand ❥ holds onto your left hand/always wants your left hand on him because he wants to feel connected to your heart at all times

B = Baby (Do they want a family? Why/Why not?)

❥ he would want a family but the term is arbitrary to him ❥ family doesn’t have to mean having a traditional child ❥ he just wants the sense of belonging a family has (elizabeth the 3rd is practically your child anyways) ❥ if you wanted to adopt a child and/or birth one then he would be okay with it (would admittedly get a little upset having to take the child with you all if you go on vacation)

C = Cuddle (How do they cuddle?)

❥ handsy (sfw way guys) ❥ he needs at least one hand cradling your head/hands/waist/shoulders to feel grounded ❥ will say he doens’t want you to fall off but his bed is bigger than ever so... (he’s sly when he wants to be) ❥ loves having you lay on your side while he is on his back, your body pressed against his with your head on his chest and your legs tangled together ❥ he tries to have a no work at home policy to respect your time together so he will probably also use this time to relax with you ❥ movie cuddles are so fun with this man but it’s so hard to focus when his thumb caresses the back of your hand, tracing little hearts onto your skin

D = Dates (What are dates with them like?)

❥ everything and anything and more ❥ any date idea you have, jumin will make sure happens ❥ he will so copy dates you fawn over, down to the smallest details ❥ will hate when you plan dates and don’t let him help because he wants you to feel loved, he couldn’t care less about himself ❥ many at home dates that he refuses to call dates because he thinks you deserve more, but he puts so much into them that they are definitely dates

E = Everything (You are my ____ (e.g. my life, my world...))

❥ you are his ❥ there is nothing that makes him happier than being able to call you his ❥ say you are his and he will gaze at you with so much adoration in his eyes that you practically melt

F = Feelings (When did they know they were in love?)

❥ as soon as you saw him for who he was, he started developing feelings ❥ he is kinda obtuse so he has trouble articulating them externally ❥ i think jumin is the type of person to fall in love quick but also falls more each day ❥ he is eternally free-falling into the ravine of his love for you ❥ he was able to be sure it was love the day of the RFA party ❥ seeing you with the people he cares deeply about? that’ll do it

G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?)

❥ SO SO GENTLE ❥ affection starts off soft but can become more rough and passionate if something is stressing him ❥ the way he cradles your head when he hugs you, making sure that he doesn’t misplace a single hair on your head ❥ the way he manages to pull you away from the paparazzi without even disorienting you? his gentle grasp on your hand as he shoves everyone else away, regardless of what it will do to his image, just to ensure you don’t feel overwhelmed. the way his fingers manage to find yours as they interlock, a soft tug bringing you closer to him. the way his hand moves to nudge your head into his chest, his fingers slipping away from yours to instead move around your waist. the way it seems like it is just the two of you as he guides you over to somewhere more private. the way he cusps your jaw as he places a soft kiss upon your temples, moving to your forehead, and then your lips as he asks “my love, are you alright?”; barely managing to get a word in between the kisses ❥ so maybe i rambled

H = Hands (How do they like to hold hands?)

❥ definetly a guy who prefers to have an arm wrapped around your waist ❥ he wants to feel like he is protecting you because he is always worried about the media/his father’s enemies harming you ❥ i feel like holding hands is a private thing for him, something you guys do when you’re laying in bed ❥ holding hands when you both are doing your own thing so you are still connected >>>

I = Impression (What was their first impression?)

❥ let’s say his first impression from speaking to you 1 on 1 instead of you barging into their chatroom B) ❥ he was shocked at how...genuine it felt? ❥ lots of people seem to try and impress him or treat him superficially because of the family he was born into ❥ that or they act like the RFA and kind of make light of his situations  ❥ the fact that you listened and spoke to him as if he was just like everyone else made him happier than he would care to admit

J = Jealousy (Do they get jealous?)

❥ no [read: yes] ❥ specifically when it concerns zen (zen is a flirt tho so i cannot blame him) ❥ also gets iffy with you around his father since he knows how his father is (not jealous but more so grossed out and scared) ❥ wraps an arm around your waist and gently kisses your temple ❥ would namedrop “love” as often as he could ❥ not above making up date plans to get you away from people flirting with you ❥ would so take you on that fake date after. he has to save face so why not kill two birds with one stone? a date with you and a way to get you away from people who don’t deserve you

“love,” jumin says, slipping his hand ever so gently around your waist, “who is this?”

the other person doesn’t miss the way jumin looks directly at them as he places a kiss to your temple. the way his eyes looked so calm yet guarded, as if he was daring them to even think about trying to flirt with you again.

“this is a new coworker! i was put in charge of showing them how everything works.”

jumin’s eyes traced back to you, admiring how well you did your job. you were tasked with helping someone completely new so it meant you had to be considered one of the best. his heart swelled with pride - that is, until the newbie interrupted his train of thought.

“yeah…so,” they trailed off, looking between you and jumin, “would i be able to get your number? incase i have any questions later on?”

jumin swiftly moved his hand from your waist to the small of your back, leading you towards where driver kim was waiting.

“y/n, my love, i made reservations for us. would it be alright if we headed there right now?”

“yeah! of course,” you looked towards jumin and smiled, “sorry, can we talk about this later?”

the newbie simply nodded while jumin couldn’t help but let out a small smirk.

K = Kiss (How do they kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?)

❥ oh... that first kiss CG WHEWWWW ❥ he always initiates it ❥ you can try but he will take control and it seems like he initiated it anyways ❥ lingers before actually committing to it, eyes flickering between your lips and your eyes before pulling your chin closer ❥ a hand of his always gently cradling the cusp of your chin until it isn’t so gentle and more so desperate ❥ will always go back for more kisses

“jumin-”

“just one more love,” jumin says pulling away even more to look you in your eyes. his hair was becoming more messy, the strands falling in front of his face. he looked desperate, as if his yearning for you could never be satisfied. “they can wait, let me love you once more.”

L = Love (Who says 'I love you' first?)

❥ he falls in love first 100% ❥ this is coming from someone who falls all at once if they fall (he is just like me fr) ❥ would verbalize it as soon as he realizes <3 ❥ would ask you to love him when you feel ready but asks that you let him tell you his emotions in the meantime ❥ he has no issue waiting for you but he needs wants you to always know of his love for you

M = Memory (What's their favorite memory together?)

❥ you wanted to surprise him at his penthouse for his birthday (you’re so lucky the guards were given orders to always let you in) so you decorated the whole place and invited the rfa ❥ everyone else was sitting on the couches and talking (zen was purposely sneezing because jaehee kept complimenting his ‘graceful sneezes) except for you ❥ you were sitting in front of the cage elizabeth the 3rd was put in for zen’s safety, meowing back at her to try and commmunicate ❥ jumin opened the door to find his closest (only) friends and the love of his life waiting for him ❥ seeing you try to imitate elly’s meows, as well as the fact everyone wanted to celebrate him ???  ❥ he was so touched he even smiled (albeit small) in front of zen... yeah zen will never let him live that down

N = Nickel (Do they spoil? Do they buy the person they love everything?)

❥ this is not even a question. ❥ if you tell him you think a certain star is pretty, he WILL buy it for you ❥ absolutely adores it when you try to convince him to not spoil you ❥ he’s so used to seeing women go to his father and try to get anything and everything, so the fact that you don’t makes him so happy ❥ he knows you love him for him, which makes him want to spoil you even more ❥ PLEASE do not glance at anything for more than a couple of seconds because he will remember and get it for you

O = Orange (What color reminds them of their other half?)

❥ lavender  ❥ seems like a cop out to use his heart color but hear me out ❥ lavender represents calmness and devotion, yet also represents elegance and luxury ❥ it’s a color that reminds him of not only you, but himself as well. ❥ he was the melancholy light blue that would be brushed over until he met the red passion you held within you ❥ he cannot think about his other half without thinking about how complete he feels, and just like lavender, his life is made up of two opposing yet beautiful differences

P = Pet names (What pet names do they use?)

❥ “love” is his go to. he wants you to know he loves you even if he doesn’t verbalize it as much ❥ “my love” when he wants to remind anyone and everyone, even himself, that you are his <3 ❥ other than that, he would stick to using your name ❥ you are so perfect to him, there is no name he can call you to fully capture his love for you

Q = Quaint (What is their favorite non-modern thing?)

❥ oh i got a list, get ready ❥ opening the car door for you, making you wait inside until he does so ❥ princess style carrying you whenever there is a chance of your feet getting wet because he rather be uncomfortable than you ❥ bringing you a flower (minimum) every time you two go on a date ❥ love notes (delivered through text because he is a busy man) whenever he misses you ❥ a kiss on the forehead every time you must depart from one another ❥ i am weak in the knees for him

R = Rainy Day (What do they like to do on a rainy day?)

❥ trips to his private garden ❥ his private garden is more of a garden inside of a greenhouse so no rain would get on you guys ❥ sitting under one of the garden’s trees as you listen to him read <3 ❥ soft classical (guys i love classical music so much shhh) music playing in the background as the gentle patter of the rain droplets lull you into a sleep like state ❥ and when you do fall asleep? jumin will lean his head on top of yours and pretend the two of you are in your own fairy tale

S = Sad (How do they cheer themselves/others up?)

❥ all he needs is to spend time with you and talk about it ❥ you make him happy just by being beside him ❥ omg if you cook something for him.... it will make him so happy that you are even concerned about his wellbeing ❥ perks of him being traumatized and unworthy of love? any positive interaction with you makes him feel loved and happy

T = Talking (What do they like to talk about?)

❥ your day ❥ his day ❥ elly ❥ anything to learn more about you ❥ this man has barely ever been listened to, please just let him converse about whatever he feels like

U = Unencumbered (What helps them relax?)

❥ reading to you ❥ something about you being lulled to sleep to the sound of his voice makes him so happy and relaxed; just knowing you feel so safe with him makes him <3_<3 ❥ laying w elly (but that’s such an obvious answer) ❥ sitting down and relaxing with both you and elly right next to him <3

jumin and you both sat on opposite ends of the loveseat, only being connected by his hand that enveloped yours. elizabeth the third was seated on his lap, purring as he absentmindedly pet her in between pages of his novel. your laughs can be heard as you messed with seven in the chatroom, each laugh causing you to squeeze jumin’s hand a little. this was what he could get used to everyday; the two of you being connected emotionally no matter what you’re doing.

V = Vaunt (What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?)

❥ YOU. ❥ jumin is affluent but he doesn’t like showing it off ❥ he may accidentally do so because he is obtuse at times but he isn’t proud of his money ❥ you and elly > everything else in his life ❥ if you work, even if it is a temp. job, he will hype it up ❥ zen wants to talk about how pretty his face is? jumin sends a photo of you with a “y/n is looking etheral” with his cat chat bubble thingy ;,)

W = Wedding (When, how, where do they propose?)

❥ let’s pretend he didn’t do it in the game already ❥ tbh anyone who says he plans it is  and follows through is such a liar ❥ he will do it as a spur of the moment thing ❥ he could plan a whole reservation for you and ask the RFA to prep everything only to get so excited that he proposes next time he sees you ❥ always has the ring on him even if he isn’t set to propose for like another couple of months because he is a loverboy at heart

X = Xylophone (What's their song?)

❥ daddy issues - the neighborhood

“And if you were my little girl I'd do whatever I could do I'd run away and hide with you I know that you got daddy issues, and I do too”

❥ i also made a jumin playlist so if y’all wanna listen click here (giggles)

Y = Yes (Do they ever think of getting married/proposing?)

❥LMAOOOOO... we all know the answer to this ❥ loves the idea of you being his and him being yours ❥ he won’t pressure you to get married asap but y’all would be engaged until you’re ready ❥ y/n han is the most beautiful sounding name to him

Z = Zebra (If they wanted a pet, what would they get?)

❥ you two already have elizabeth the 3rd ❥ no one dared to think about what would happen if elly (jumin refuses to admit he finds it cute when you say elly, especially is seven overhears) died ❥ elizabeth the 3rd is immortal. she will be with you all forever

#fluff alphabet #jumin han #jumin x reader #jumin han fanfic #jumin fanfic #mystic messenger x reader #mystic messenger #jumin headcanons #mysmes #mystic messenger fanfic #fanfic #boyfriend headcanons #headcanons

[yanderefan-kimi]

Just Smile

It was his mantra, his magic spell. The very words he needed to chant to summon a cheerful mask to his face, even before he had a name for that mask. Whenever things felt far too overwhelming, whenever it would get to be too much for him, he would force a smile on his face and pretend it was all just a game.

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AO3 Link

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Just a short piece I wrote about how I HC that Seven tends to dissociate a lot, even with things that should be joyous to him... Set during his route & kinda open-ended. Spoils a lot of his past & his route, so beware! This is my first fanfic, hope you enjoy!

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Just smile.

It was Saeyoung's mantra, his magic spell. The very words he needed to chant to summon a cheerful mask to his face, even before he had a name for that mask.

Whenever things felt far too overwhelming, whenever it would get to be too much for him, he would force a smile on his face and pretend it was all just a game.

Figuring out his mother's habits and when to sneak out of the house was a game of observation. Hiding from the men in suits his father sent was a game of stealth. Training at the agency was a game of endurance. Joining the RFA was... a game of friendship.

At first it was difficult for him to wear that smile. When he first became an agent–a shadow–Saeyoung didn't have much to smile about. But then he would think about twinkly night stars, or ice cream, or how happy his brother, Saeran, must be. His lips would twitch up into a smile, and it would become just a little easier to breathe.

Still, every day was a battle to keep the smile on his face. A challenge to be won. Saeyoung sacrificed everything for Saeran's happiness, for Saeran's freedom. So he had to be happy, right…?

It was all too easy for the doubts to bounce around his brain, for his smile to slip from his face, and for reality to crash in and crush him.

He was good enough at his job to go through the motions without much thought. His fellow agents considered him a robot–not that he really gave a damn about their opinions. Regardless of how well he could do his job, his concentration kept being broken by the doubts in his head.

So he asked–begged–Rika for evidence, proof that Saeran was doing well without him.

He didn't mean to suspect V and Rika. They quite literally saved his life. V gave him a new identity, a new name, a new hope. And they both promised to protect Saeran.

Saeyoung just wanted–needed–to know that he made the right decision. It was the last time he would ever ask about his brother. The last greedy wish he would ever have. He just needed to have one last reassurance that Saeran was happy.

And when he received a children's book on his twentieth birthday, when he saw the floppy disk and the pictures inside of it… Saeyoung was able to smile again.

Just smile.

When he was stuck in a boiler room for three days, waiting to escape the compound he had infiltrated, he thought of how peaceful Saeran looked and smiled. When he chatted with the RFA members, he was able to effortlessly make jokes. When he attended the second RFA party and had to show his face in front of several powerful individuals, he was able to laugh with ease.

Things were harder after Rika's death and V's sudden emotional and physical distance, but at this point, it was second nature for Saeyoung to assume his smiling mask. He didn't even need his magical spell anymore, he simply needed to quirk his lips up and laughter naturally followed.

Perhaps his antics would help distract his fellow RFA members from this tragedy, perhaps it would even help V open up again. So, he played the part of the cheerful 707: Defender of Justice well.

But what he wasn't expecting was… her.

She was a complete outsider, someone who was led into Rika's former apartment by a mysterious hacker. And somehow, V decided to appoint her as the new party coordinator. Saeyoung wasn't about to argue with V's decision (he was V's self-proclaimed slave, after all) but according to the background check he ran, she was an ordinary person who has lived an honest life before now. So why was she lured into Rika's apartment? Was this some sort of contingency plan Rika had? Or was there something more sinister at play?

Still, she was a member now, so he welcomed her with his usual smile. And she… she was a breath of fresh air. He didn't realize just how stagnant the RFA had become until she joined. She was the equivalent of opening a window in a stuffy room and letting in the spring. It was only all too tempting for Saeyoung to close his eyes and soak in the warm embrace of her gentleness.

He knew he shouldn't get close. He even warned her as such, but she likely just took it as another one of his jokes. An unfortunate consequence to his 707 mask.

Soon enough, Don't get close, became his new mantra, his new magic spell to warn himself not to get attached to her. He needed to stop all this damn flirting, especially with the messenger being compromised, the RFA members being threatened, and their new party coordinator being left defenseless at the apartment. But some small part of Saeyoung, one he didn't wish to acknowledge, knew that it would fail. He knew that he already cared far more than he could, than he should.

It was like that with all the RFA members.

Yoosung was gullible and fun to tease, but he was also bright and had a promising future. The way he always trusted Saeyoung, despite all his secrets, despite how much Saeyoung teased him, was touching. Yoosung reminded him of his brother in a few ways, and if he were allowed to have friends, Yoosung would be his best one.

Saeyoung truly believed that Zen would take the world by storm one day. He admired his skill, his confidence, and how hard he worked for his goal. And Zen was always there to give him advice when he needed it. Saeyoung had no doubts that he would drop everything to help him if he ever asked.

Jaehee, while still relatively new to the organization, was someone he had come to rely on to keep everything and everyone in the RFA in check. Although he suspected that anxiety clouded her heart, he knew that if she had the courage, she could find a place in society that truly made her happy.

Jumin could be incredibly hard to tease and fluster at times, so Saeyoung often found himself pushing a bit too hard, but the businessman always took it in stride (minus things involving his precious cat, of course.) Saeyoung never let the fact that he was one of the youngest members of the RFA bother him, but Jumin always reminded him that there was still so much more for him to learn. Saeyoung trusted that, if the time ever came where he was about to do something foolish, Jumin would stop him.

As for V and Rika, it went without saying that he would do anything for them. They were his saviors, they were like parents to him, they gave him a new life. His only regrets were not knowing Rika well before her death and not being able to help V with his grief.

Still, he would leave them all if he had to. He would disappear from their lives, leaving nothing behind but the shadow of his memory, if it meant he would be able to protect them. They were all great people, meant to do great things, and he couldn't justify risking their lives for his petty feelings, for his undeserved greed.

Despite all that, the newest member of the RFA felt completely different. In his world of zeros and ones, she was a two. She was the PhD Pepper to his Honey Buddha Chips, the sweet to his sour, the sun to his stars, the angel to–Well, just the fact that he was able to make so many comparisons showed just how much she occupied his thoughts.

So just smile.

So he convinced himself it was all just a game. The two of them were playing a game of joking-but-not-flirting, flirting-but-not-catching-feelings. And if he were to give a name to this game, it would be mystic messenger. Named after the mysterious chatter who dropped into Rika's apartment, dropped into the RFA messenger, dropped into his life from seemingly outer space. While she was the messenger that illuminated the puzzle of conspiracies surrounding the RFA, that heralded change within the organization, he was content with just being a defender in the shadows. He was no prince charming or knight in shining armor–he couldn't even be a friend to comfort her. All he could do to protect her was to disappear, and he knew that was the path they were heading down. She was better off with someone else, anyways.

Still, he couldn't shake his worries. Perhaps it was his carefully honed instincts, but he knew that something bad was going to happen. It just made too much sense. She was the only one without bodyguards, the only one alone and vulnerable, the only one with just a flimsy CCTV feed to protect her. So Saeyoung spent most of his time staring at the camera feed, barely sparing a glance to the RFA messenger code–let alone his agency work, despite Vanderwood breathing down his neck about it. If anyone tried to break into the apartment, he would be the first one to know, and then…

And then what? Saeyoung was hours away, what could he possibly do if someone–

He shook his head, a smile covering his face. He laughed. He was obviously being paranoid. They were all going to be in so much more trouble if he didn't secure the messenger, if he didn't do his work for the agency. Really, what he needed to do the most was get his shit together.

With that encouraging thought, Saeyoung set down what he was holding and pushed his chair forward before immediately backpedaling. He turned back to the object he was just holding. Was that a… robotic dog? He hadn't even noticed that he was building it. Saeyoung just thought about making a guard dog robot, or something of the sorts, to protect the new party coordinator in his stead, and… well, his hands had no problem moving on their own while his head was occupied.

He shared a picture of the fire-breathing dog robot in the RFA messenger, hoping to get a smile out of her in this trying time, only to face accusations of his affections later on in the day. Romantic feelings were out of the question for someone like him. Not only was he undeserving and unable to like someone, it would also put that person in extreme danger. So he did the only thing he could; he smiled and denied, denied, denied.

He was fooling no one.

It was when Vanderwood broke a mug and Saeyoung flinched that he noticed just how tense he was. He felt like a string pulled too tight, so close to breaking apart and becoming useless to everyone. His uneasiness only grew–why did Vanderwood have to point out that superstition about breaking a mug?--and he found his ever-present cheerful mask to be slipping away.

Something wasn't right. He was supposed to view this all as a game. It was what he had always done. Games had rules and rules had loopholes, backdoors, exploits to take advantage of. Games could be won. Saeyoung was naturally skilled at any game he picked up. He was number one on the LOLOL leaderboards, after all, and for a good reason. So why did it feel like he was doomed to fail?

Saeyoung tugged at the cross around his neck, a familiar suffocating feeling threatening to overwhelm him. Not even a tentative smile could cast away his worries. He knew, with every piece of him, that something bad was going to happen. He only wished, selfish as it was, that it wasn't going to happen to the girl who was quickly becoming dear to him.

But he should have known that he used up all his wishes. It was already too late when he noticed that the special security system in Rika's apartment was compromised. He should have checked it, should have known, should have remembered it earlier. But he had tunnel vision, he was too busy denying his feelings in the messenger, too busy staring at the unchanging CCTV feed, too busy making useless robots. Saeyoung barely spared the time to come up with a plan to get Vanderwood off his trail in his panic.

He threw all his gear into his car and sped off, traffic laws be damned. Saeyoung shot a quick message into the messenger warning the new party coordinator that he was on his way. If not for the necessity of him getting there in one piece to properly protect her, he likely would have stayed on the messenger, to keep that connection to her. To try to reassure her. He didn't care what happened to himself, just as long as she was safe. If something happened to her, then he…

Well, she was a fellow member of the RFA. It was only natural that he was worried about her. He ignored the voice in the back of his head telling him that she was different. Saeyoung cared about all the members of the RFA, no matter how much he tried to push them away, and if anything happened to them, he would try to help them. But he had a feeling that if anything happened to the new member, it would feel like his world was ending.

Just smile, some small voice in his head chanted. He recognized that voice as a warning. A warning that this was all getting to be too much for him. But he didn't have time, didn't have the leisure to worry about his own feelings.

Saeyoung ditched his car a distance away and sprinted to the apartment, a place he hadn't visited since Rika had asked him to install the special security system. He ignored the elevator–with his luck, the hacker would have tampered with it anyways–and shot up the stairs, taking them two at a time.

When he heard the new party coordinator call for help, Saeyoung burst into the room, an easy smile spreading across his face. A conditioned response to stress, more than anything. He was trained to respond to situations like this, and he wouldn't fail here. He couldn't.

But when he saw who was holding the girl he cared about, his smile fell and for the first time, Saeyoung froze. His voice was almost unrecognizable when coated in anger, his face–the very image of sardonic glee–looked foreign, his eyes and hair were a completely different color, but there was no denying that he was…

"Saeran…?"

...his brother, the one who was supposed to be living a happy life. The one Saeyoung was supposed to have protected.

Even after Saeran had retreated, Saeyoung couldn't get the image of his angry face out of his head. Every happy memory of Saeran's precious smile seemed to be overwritten by the sight.

Saeyoung looked up at the new party coordinator, the one he wanted to protect no matter what. She looked calm, trying to appear brave–but if that was for her sake or his, he didn't know, wouldn't ask, couldn't analyze.

Eventually, he settled on looking at his hands. In the end, he wasn't able to protect anyone. He sacrificed his whole life to give Saeran a future, and he had undeniably failed. He was naive with his trust and was paying the price. All he could do now was to make sure the new member was safe… and then disappear as quickly as possible so no one else got hurt because of him.

He felt like everything was shattering, just like the broken glass that covered the floor of the apartment. Everything precious to him felt like a crumbling biscuit. The more he closed his fist to try to hold it all in, the more it broke, the more crumbs fell out between his fingers.

Briefly he wondered,

How was he ever supposed to smile now?

#mystic messenger #mysme #mystic messenger 707 #luciel choi #mystic messenger fanfic #yes i do write sometimes too #i dont really know how to use tumblr OR ao3 but i am Trying My Best lol #this is like... all hurt no comfort IM SORRY #also title drop cuz i couldnt help myself lol