#n i cant evn rlly talk abt it evn on this semi anonymous blog on this dead fucking website bc its disgusting n shameful n shitty?? like??

[gumdecay]

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#quarantine has lichrally just regressed me back to like 14/15 b4 n aftr my 1st psych hospitalization n like........ idk wat 2 do abt that #like my brain is always on fire n im always alone n so i Shld b able 2 deal w this? most evry1 i kno is like ya this is normal life 4 me so #it has no real affect meanwhile im here like.......... literally ruining everything in my life 4 no reason othr than wat else am i gnna do?? #n i cant evn rlly talk abt it evn on this semi anonymous blog on this dead fucking website bc its disgusting n shameful n shitty?? like?? #idk. i feel like a Genuinely Bad Prsn n thats not enuf 2 stop me doing nything but like. i wish it were?? i have such high ideals in my head #n i hold othr ppl 2 such ridiculous high standards (which ofc they fail 2 meet n i hate them 4 it but dnt say nything bc theyre impossible 2 #meet) but when it comes 2 myself i see who i Cld B n who i Am n i do nothing 2 try n bridge the gap?? like?? idk. i dnt have the brain 2 #rlly explain how i mean but. how fucked is it that we have the Concept of Perfection but its literally nvr reachable in Any Sense?? like #whats the point. js but if id made this world n this life n the concept of humanity?? perfection wld b achievable. bc what the fuck else is #the point??? literally what is the point of living if u cant evr reach perfection n what is the point of trying 2 b good @ all if u cant evr #reach perfection n what the FUCK is the point of having perfection as a concept if u can nvr evr reach it no matter how hard u try??? #so w/e. im evil now. lmao