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#nakahara chuuya angst
hopelessdazai · 29 days
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✿ 》Half Worth
╰⧼ 🪻 note.. ⧽ ; this is just a quick filler cause I'm going through my notes app it's super short ok. hi I'm gonna dissappear for a few. idk how long. enjoy.
╰⧼ 🌙 contents.. ⧽ ; pure angst. chuuya bottles up his emotions ( then drinks the bottle in the form of alcohol ). not a lot of warnings because it's like barely any text.
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memories. so many of them, and yet such an inability to stifle them.
mornings were already a vaunrable time for chuuya, there was something always so stressful about them that caused an unconditional worry. a tightness inside, an excruciatingly painful feeling. one the mafia executive couldn't ever seem to handle.
usually, the male would continue about his day. biting the feelings back, until he could pour alcohol into the gaping hole in his chest. and even yet when it doesn't heal; he tried again the next day. but this day, in particular. his hold on himself seemed to snap. The overthinking was too much, he was never good enough for anybody. no matter how much done for them, how much sacrificed for their pleasure. he'd always be the last resort. the second option.
So he let out tearless sobs ; sliding down the wall and onto the floor of his bedroom. painful wails and cries from the heart echoed his walls.
chuuya would never allow anybody to see him this vaunrable.
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oh-ranpo · 2 years
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right there beside you
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☾ -- pairing: chuuya nakahara x reader ☾ -- word count: 1.9k+ ☾ -- a/n: ANGST. hurt comfort fic. for the sake of this imagine, we're going to pretend that chuuya would have no access to yosano's power. i didn't want to hurt anyone, i swear. ☾ -- preview: when you end up in the hospital after an attack from a port mafia enemy, chuuya is faced with the uncertainty of your recovery.
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It wasn’t supposed to end up like this. It wasn’t supposed to be you laying in this hospital bed, it was supposed to be him. Or, no, if it had to be someone, it should have been him. You were innocent in all of this. So, so innocent, it wasn’t fair. It made his blood boil in rage before it started simmering into a deep-rooted guilt that filled his stomach to the brim. This was his fault. It was his fault that you were here. If you never would have gotten mixed up with him and his job, you would have been safe. You would be at home, asleep in your own bed instead of here, hooked up to all these annoying machines. Sure, he also wouldn’t be holding your hand and he wouldn’t have the precious memories of you that he held so close to his heart, but he was willing to make that sacrifice if it meant that you’d be okay. He’d let you go forever if you would just wake up.
As selfish as Chuuya could be, when it came to you, he was different. While he used to put his job first, now, that spot was reserved for you. That was what made this entire situation so unbearable. He wasn’t where he was supposed to be when you needed him most. He was too slow. He couldn’t… they didn’t… His mind raced as he thought about all the different scenarios that might have resulted in your safety. If he would have been faster to the scene, he could have stopped them. If he would have warned you about the case he was working on sooner, he could have protected you. But instead, he had kept everything a secret from you, and they had found you before he could find them. How was he ever going to live with himself if you didn’t get better? It was late, and while he was sure that the nurses had considered trying to kick him out by now, they also knew better than to even mutter the words in his presence. He might have been an executive for an operation that worked mostly in the shadows, but his reputation was still fairly prominent around the city. No one asked questions. No one ordered him around. And if they tried to send him away, he would have sent them straight through the floor without a moment’s hesitation. He couldn’t leave because he had to be here when you woke up. He had to apologize. Both of Chuuya’s gloved hands gripped yours tightly as he rested his head against the back of them. If he was a praying man, he would have begged a higher power to heal you. He would have sold his soul to the devil himself if it meant that you would come out of this without any lasting injuries. Tears welled in his eyes as he realized how helpless he was, and how there was nothing that he could do except wait. The hallway lights had been turned down, and the last time the nurse had come in to check on you, she had turned the room’s lights down as well. A majority of the light came in from the moon outside, and as alert as he wanted to be, Chuuya’s eyelids started to droop and he could feel the exhaustion from the day start to settle into his bones. It was amazing how ten hours could feel like a lifetime when something that meant so much to him hung in the balance. He wasn’t sure how much waiting he could do before he would start to lose his mind. Maybe he already had. Slowly, he lifted his head as he took another long look at you, his heart sinking in his chest at how vulnerable you looked. The bandage on your head was reminiscent to the one Dazai used to wear when they were younger, and Chuuya might have almost been amused if the situation wasn’t so dire. There was a bruise forming on your cheek and the cut along the side of your neck made his stomach turn violently. They had really done a number on you. If they weren’t already dead, Chuuya wouldn’t have hesitated to kill them again. His grip on your hand tightened as tears welled in his eyes and your name slipped past his lips. He was calling out to you despite not knowing if you could hear him. He murmured your name again, this time a little bit louder, in hopes that you would recognize his voice and come back to him. “I just want to see those pretty eyes of yours again, doll,” he smiled sadly as a lump formed in his throat. “You know how much I need that smile to get through the day.” When you didn’t stir, Chuuya let out a heavy sigh as the first tear fell to the bed covers in front of him. Would he ever see that smile again? Would he ever hear your laugh or enjoy the way your voice wrapped around his name? Would he ever get to experience the softness of your touch and the way your fingers would gently card through his hair as you laid next to one another in his oversized bed? Despite having all the space in the world, you always opted for sleeping right next to him, cuddled into his side or having him rest his head on your chest so that you could play with his hair as he dozed off after a long day. “I sleep better with you close to me,” you’d say, and Chuuya’s heart would skip a beat. As the thought passed through his mind, Chuuya found himself standing from his spot in the chair next to the bed and gently crawled into the space on the mattress beside you. He was careful not to bump any of the tubes that were connected to you as he slid under the covers, his arm resting across your waist as his head found its place on the pillow right next to you. He felt a tiny bit better being closer to you now, even though that nagging despair was still twirling in his chest, but he closed his eyes and pretended like he was back home. The two of you were laying in his bed, just like you did every night. The steady beeping of the machines was simply white noise as he allowed himself to sleep in the comfort of your presence. You would both wake up tomorrow morning, and all of this would be just a terrible nightmare. “Chuuya?” He dreamt about you. The two of you were laying in his room, just as he had imagined before falling asleep, and you were whispering his name as your fingers brushed along his skin. The light filtering in from the window gave you an ethereal glow, and he could feel deep within his soul that there was nowhere else he wanted to be. He didn’t care about the Port Mafia, he didn’t care about anything else except for laying next to you with your touch gliding up his arm, across his collar bone, and then your fingers wrapping strands of his hair around them, all while wearing a peaceful smile on your face. “Chuuya.” Your voice was louder this time, but there was something about the sound of it that didn’t feel right. Your voice was definitely more hoarse than it had been previously. It wasn’t silky smooth like your regular voice, though the love and care was still laced in his name. Your fingers were now pressed against his cheekbone as you slowly tilted his chin upwards to meet your gaze. “Chuuya, love, open your eyes.” He was confused. His eyes were open, so why were you asking him to do so now? His brow furrowed in confusion and his body stirred restlessly. The room around you slowly started to fade and he could feel you slipping away. No, he wanted to say, desperate to cling on to your presence a bit longer. No, please don’t leave me. Only when the room completely disappeared, his eyes were opening again and he was greeted with the blinding white light of the hospital room. The beeping of the machines were still steady, and his heart was racing as he fought to get his bearings. His stomach sank when realization settled in that the moment he had just shared with you had all been a part of his imagination. “Good morning.” The sound of your voice startled him as he turned his head to look at you. He was surprised to see you staring back at him, a soft, tired smile on your lips. “I was beginning to wonder when you would wake up.” He realized then that your fingers were nestled in his hair as your arm draped across his chest. He was laying on his back but you were laying on your side facing him, almost identical to how you had been in his dream. Tears immediately filled his eyes once more as he rolled onto his side to face you, before pulling off his glove as his own hand moved to cup your cheek. The bandage on your head kept him from brushing his fingers through your hair, but he could still feel your warm skin beneath his palm, grounding him in this reality. Your hand slowly moved to the back of his head, your fingernails gently scratching against his scalp in a way that always made him putty in your hands. The movements were languid and slow as you still seemed to be partially sedated, but you were awake and that was all that mattered. “I was… oh, doll, I am so… I can’t believe I let…” Chuuya stumbled over his words as he tried to come up with the right thing to say in that moment. I was wrong. I am so sorry. I can’t believe I let them get to you. Those were only a few of the things that weighed heavy on his mind, but before he could get any of those complete sentences past his lips, you were scooting closer to him - which wasn’t the easiest considering all the tubes you were still connected to - until your forehead rested against his own. “I’m right here, darling, and I’m going to be okay. You’re safe, I’m safe, and that’s all that matters, right? That we’re together?” The little pieces of his fragmented heart started to heal with your questions, and his thumb brushed across the apple of your cheek. A tear slid down his face as he nodded against you, his lips turning up slightly bringing about the first smile to grace his lips in the last 48 hours. “As long as you’re here, nothing else matters,” he murmured in response, and the laugh that he had grown to live for filled the room. “You’re such a sap, Chuuya,” you teased, pulling back just enough so that you could meet his gaze. His blue eyes sparkled as he stared back at you, feeling relief and love and adoration fill him up all at once. “But I love you and I’ll always come back for you. I’ll never leave you alone.” That was when he kissed you, his lips melding slowly with yours. He was as careful as possible so that he wouldn’t bump or aggravate any of your injuries. He just couldn’t help himself. “And you call me the sap,” he joked right back the moment that you pulled apart. “But I’m holding you to that promise.” The smile on your lips was all the reassurance that he needed. Nothing like this was going to ever happen again. He would bet his life on it.
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yuyonyu · 6 months
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“What happened to arresting me, detective?!
I thought you were gonna show me the light…!”
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lotus-pear · 2 months
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in love with tragedy
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homoesia · 7 months
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visiting a grave [twilight goodbye]
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twilicidity · 2 months
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osachiyo · 5 months
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˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 by anonymous user ꒱. . . hello ! I really like your works, could I please request an insecure!reader with chuuya? and him fucking some sense into her? don't feel pressured to do this btw and feel free to ignore :D
˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 note ꒱. . . here u go, nonnie ! I really liked this idea and sorry for taking so long on this request 😭 anyway, hope you enjoy ~~
˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 c/w ꒱. . . (18+) n/sfw content, mentions of insecurities, body worshipper chuuya, praise, lowercase intended, hints of dumbfication, overstimulation, fingering, mirror sex, cunnilingus, chuuya eats it from the back !! 🗣️🗣️& more + not proofread
summary. . . you've been feeling insecure about your body and started to wonder if you were really good enough for someone like chuuya? but no worries, your lover doesn't mind reminding you how much he loves your body and more importantly, you.
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you sighed, staring at your reflection in the fancy full-body mirror in front of you; god, you looked horrendous. you didn't know how chuuya, one of, if not the most beautiful man you've ever met, love someone like.. you.
what you also didn't know, though, was that your beloved chuuya had been standing in the doorway the entire time, slender figure leaning against the doorframe as a dull pain throbbed in his heart while he watched, heard you pick apart your body like it was the ugliest thing you had ever seen. he watched as you ran your fingers up and down the parts you hated the most, a frown tugging at your lips as you muttered something about "not being pretty enough". he didn't understand why you'd say such things about your body− all of those beautiful parts of yours that he cherished wholeheartedly.
you whipped your head around hearing the sound of the once slightly ajar bedroom door shut, your boyfriend entering the room. "hey doll, what're you up to?" chuuya's voice was heavy, laced with something you couldn't exactly put a finger on.
"hey, chuu," you smiled, though the action didn't meet your eyes. and chuuya could tell.
his eyes narrowed, gloved hands found their way around your waist, tugging you closer to him− your back flush against his chest. when did he walk all the way across the room?
"y'know, I heard everything right?" he muttered into your neck, strong arms tightening around your figure as you gulped nervously. "chuuya I−" "you're fuckin' beautiful. so don't say hurtful shit about yourself 'cause it for sure ain't true," he cut you off, now pressing soft kisses on the back of your neck to your shoulders, gloved hands reaching up your shirt to knead and gently caress your soft skin.
a whimper caught in your throat as chuuya's hands found your breasts− pushing your bra up to grope them under your shirt. "i love all parts of your body. fuck, you're so pretty. i'll fuckin' prove it to you if i have to."
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"you see that, baby? see the way this pussy sucks my fingers in?" chuuya mused, now bare fingers plunging in and out of your sopping cunt as he had you spread in front of the giant mirror. "mm-! fuck, chuu−!" you were cut off by your own moans, beads of sweat forming on your forehead, making the little strands of your baby hair stick to your skin. "shh, baby. just focus on the way i finger fuck this pretty cunt, yeah?" your lover's voice was muffled by the soft kisses he was busy pressing all over your nape and shoulders, moving your hair out of the way to make it easier.
you could see everything in the mirror, from the way chuuya's slim fingers disappeared inside of your pussy to how much of a mess you've already become− glossy lips parted as loud moans and whines escape from your throat, the way your tits bounce and jiggle with each thrust of his digits. and hell, was it embarrassing. you jolted up when the tips of his appendages rubbed against that one spongey spot inside of your gooey walls− your jaw slacking as your eyes shut. only to receive a gentle but firm slap on your face from chuuya, "nuh-uh, baby. you're gonna watch how I please this beautiful body of yours," he growled lowly in your ear, fingers speeding up their pace as you twitch and whine in response. your vision was blurry− but you could still make out the way your face contorts to one of pure bliss in your reflection.
"yeaah− cum on these fingers, sweetheart," the ginger groaned as you soaked his fingers− your slick running down his wrist and staining the bed sheets underneath, soft curses and his name spewing out of your mouth as his fingers slowed down, aiding you to ride out your orgasm.
you gasped when he abruptly pulled them out of your still sensitive cunt− only to pop them in his mouth as he moaned from the taste of your juices melting on his tongue. "fuck, doll− I gotta taste you, need'a make you cum on my tongue−" he pushed you on your hands and knees before even finishing his sentence− a large hand pressing your back to a perfect arch, face down ass up.
"such a nice fuckin' ass," he groaned, fingers digging into the soft fat and spreading them as you whimper, pitifully clawing at the bed sheets. he playfully bit one of your globes, earning a whine in return which made him chuckle. chuuya's greedy hands ran down from your ass to your thighs, only to go back up to knead at your ass, "and these soft thighs− god, I could kiss 'em for hours."
and as if to prove himself, he started littering kisses all over your inner thighs, hands still kneading your ass before giving it a firm spank, making you jump. "hah, and of course−" he smirked before making his way to your pussy, "this pretty fuckin' pussy− prettiest one I've ever seen," he growled before diving in between your legs− hungry lips wrapping around your clit as you gasp out from the feeling.
"fu−ck! chuuya−!" you babbled, pussy still sensitive from your orgasm from earlier, his nose bumping against your slit as he runs his tongue in a zigzag motion across your clit. his fingers were spreading your ass apart for him, to get easy access to your sweet pussy that he wanted to devour so bad.
shamelessly nasty slurping noises came from between your parted thighs. your slick was already dripping down chuuya's chin as you tried your best to keep your gaze on the mirror, watching yourself getting eaten out from the back. fuck, your hair was a mess− your bare figure covered in bites and bruises that your boyfriend gave you, claiming it was his way of showing you were his. your makeup had been completely ruined; mascara running down your cheek in inky streaks, lipstick smudged− you looked utterly debauched, chuuya's favorite look on you.
a gurgled moan came out of your mouth when two fingers pushed inside of your sloppy pussy, the mafia executive's tongue now writing his name on your clit. a deep groan rumbled in his chest when you tried to run away from the feeling of his tongue and fingers on you− pulling you back before harshly cracking a palm down on your left globe, before curling his fingers further into you. tears were falling freely from your eyes at this point, mouth dropped to an 'o' as you chanted his name like a prayer− "chuu− please, fuck! s'too much−!" you cried out, if it weren't for chuuya's death grip on you, you'd already have fallen face first into the matress.
"you can− fuuck− take it, sweet girl," chuuya moaned into your pussy, the vibrations of the sound making your toes curl and apparently that was the last straw for you− "fuckfuck! 'm cummin'− cummingg−!!" your eyes rolled back into your skull as you squirted all over chuuya's face, his own hips rutting into the mattress as his eyes widen− he wasn't expecting you to do that.
chuuya gave your messy cunt a few more licks before kissing your clit, then pulling away. you looked back to see his face completely drenched− him licking his lips as he gave you a lopsided grin. "holy shit, baby. that was..." he muttered, still dazed as he ran his clean hand through his sweaty orange locks. you were still panting, chest heaving as you tried came down from the euphoric high before looking away in embarrassment, fingers fiddling with the sheets− then suddenly, you got slammed back against the bed. face down, ass up, again.
you heard a metal clink− likely his belt. the sound of expensive leather hitting the floor snapped you back into reality, he must've tossed the belt somewhere. it wasn't long before your thoughts got quickly cut off, chuuya's heavy tip slapping against your clit a few times as you whined, begging him to give you a rest but no− he wasn't gonna stop until he was sure he fucked all those negative thoughts out of your mind− wasn't gonna stop 'till all thoughts but his left that pretty little head of yours. you just had to sit still and take it, like the good girl you were.
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©sachiyoh— do not copy, plagiarize and repost my works to any platform, reblogs are very appreciated ♡
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carrotkicks · 3 months
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this place feels familiar...
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sableeira · 6 months
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I love how this was just a little theater performance for soukoku. Dazai’s dramatic acting once he “realized” Chuuya was there. Chuuya’s vampire noises. Dazai’s overdramatic speech about memories… the long pause before the cheerfully fake goodbye. Dazai’s annoyed look when Fyodor was talking shit about his and chuuya’s bond (he probably felt so smug on the inside). Dazai’s other speech about the power of friendship and their fate that was completely unnecessary because he knew that Chuuya wasn’t actually possessed. Chuuya fake shooting Dazai in the head, which they have extensively trained for in the past. Their commitment to the bit is everything
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kyoukamybeloved · 6 months
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”In other words, the suicidal maniac wants to live. Is that it?”
“I’ve come to think it’s worth trying.”
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"You used Corruption, believing in me? How beautiful."
skk webweaves: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
//strange gods - Roxane Gay// the portrait of a lady - Henry James// art from @/_mwk19_ on Twitter// say yes to heaven - Lana del Rey// the grudge - Olivia Rodrigo// litany in which certain things are crossed out - Richard Siken// art from @/suya1414 on Twitter// Kyoto - Phoebe Bridgers// we’re in love - boygenius// writings prompts for the broken-hearted - Eden Robinson// anyway - Richard Siken// art from @/AB0to on Twitter// things I never give myself permission to say - Chelsea Dingman// art from @/ssmi_0215 on Twitter// the whetting of teeth - Jamaal May// no light, no light - Florence + the machine// cosmic love - Florence + the machine// letters to Felice - Franz Kafka// art from @/rokkyun1 on Twitter// the sorrow festival - Erin Slaughter// norman fucking rockwell - lana del rey// remember my name - mitski// art by @bananana2217// townie - mitski// misheard lyrics - car seat headrest// you couldn’t just leave - Trista Mateer// art from @/T__rate on Twitter// your love finds it’s way back - Sierra DeMulder// a pearl - mitski// humpty - mitski// art by @yuyonyu// abandon me - Melissa Febos// where did you go - Hishaam Siddiqi// I should hate you - Gracie Abrams// art from @/qmthtdy on Twitter// killer - Phoebe Bridgers// a poem for Haruko 10/29 - June Jordan// crush - Richard Siken// pandemonium - Lauren Oliver// art from @/1110yu_ku_si on Twitter// catalog of unabashed gratitude - Ross Gay// steamboat - Adrianne Lenker//
hey remember when I said last part would be the final one? yeah uh about that, turns out I still have some inspiration yippee. hope you liked it :)
tags:
@dinosaur-mayonnaise @philzokman @amagami-hime @nnavia @homuncvlus @vinylbiohazard @bunglegaydogs @zamxii @ghostsinacoat @slug-behaviour @vivid-vices @atsuwushi @gorotic @pendragonstar @ricelover888 @oatmilkbasic @thou-shalt-cha-cha-real-smooth @the-gayest-sky-kid @lotus-reblogs @whiteapplesandblackblood @dazaiyuri @evermorehypewoman
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deonsx · 13 days
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If You Cry While Making Love With Them
Feat: Dazai, Chuuya, Fyodor
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Content: Smut, Nsfw
Dazai Osamu
You had returned from a very tiring day at work and your lover was in a dark mood throughout the day. Every time you looked at him, he seemed focused on his work with his eyebrows furrowed. 'Don't we ever have a quiet day?' You thought, but you didn't ask anything so as not to upset him. You hoped that he would calm down when you got home, but the same mood got even harsher at home, he wasn't talking at all and the seriousness on his face never left
You never disturbed her, but when it was midnight, she was still sitting on the couch and not coming to bed. You waited for her for a while, but then you couldn't help but went to her. She was still the same as you left her. The brunette's eyes were staring at closed tv, "Osamu??" you called out to her and slowly her eyes turned to you but she waited for a while before answering "Are you asleep yet bella?" The eyes looked blank, but he did not forget to ask you in a voice that would warm his heart. You slowly approached him and held his hands, "You are very tired today, let's sleep together, my love."
"I'm sorry, but I'll stay on my own for a while, my love." Your memories after he said this sentence are blurry, but you whispered love sentences to him and gave him a nice night because you wanted to make him happy, but the night was not as full of love as you thought.. Dazai was very rough during sex, more than ever before. he was rude "Ngh!!..osamu!! slow down...!" No matter how many times you told him, he didn't care, but now you were in pain rather than pleasure and you couldn't hold back the tears in your eyes
When you saw your lover stopping quickly, you wanted to pull yourself together, but you didn't even have the strength to move. An anxious tone of voice filled your ears. "Was it too much love...sshhh my love.." he slowly wiped the tears from your eyes and kissed all over your face and pulled you into his lap, making you lose the coldness. "I'm so sorry.. That wasn't my intention... Today was a bad day.. I lost myself." You slowly buried your head in Dazai's neck and inhaled his scent. The pain of your life slowly disappeared with his loving words "What happened today, Osamu...?" you asked as you slowly exhaled into the cold air that filled the room but he only gave tiny kisses to your hair "Don't worry my love...the only thing that matters right now is you”
Chuuya Nakahara
That day was a day when even the weather was really bad. While your boyfriend was at work, you were preparing dinner for the two of you at home. You sent a lot of messages to your boyfriend, but he didn't answer any of them, but it wasn't that unusual, after all, he was an assassin, and sometimes, no matter how worried you were about him, you were better off praying for him. You can't do anything else, finally the man of the night came and Chuuya, who normally rings the bell, must have preferred to open the door with the key, you didn't even hear him coming. When you heard him say "I'm home", you wanted to look at him, but he quickly went to your bedroom and closed the door
But you still didn't care and quickly knocked on your boyfriend's door. "My love! I prepared the dinner, I'm waiting for you." There was no sound from inside.. "Chuuya?" When there was no sound from inside, you opened the door and found your boyfriend exhausted and lost in thought in the corner of the bed. His orange hair covered his eyes. You slowly approached him and sat next to him, brushing that beautiful hair from his eyes. "Are you okay?" You reached out to her hand with one hand and caressed it. he turned towards you with a deep breath. "Leave me alone s/o..”
You didn't want to leave him alone, on the contrary, you wanted to make him happy and make him forget all his bad night, so you slowly unbuttoned his shirt and sat on his lap "My love.. relax.. you are tired enough" While you were giving him gentle kisses, he took off your clothes with his hands and quickly put your bra in a corner. "You so insatiable today..Chuuya-san," your voice trembled as you gripped his orange hair.
After undressing you completely, he slowly laid you down on the bed and got on top of you and left a lot of marks on your skin, his face was very serious, his mind looked blurry and without waiting for you to relax, he pushed his dick inside you, which made you scream because it hurt so much "Chuuya..! it hurts, wait...!" He was ignoring you as if he was under the influence of some kind of trance, his thrusts continued rapidly and non-stop and this suddenly hurt you so much your eyes quickly filled with tears
Chuuya quickly turned his eyes to you, quickly tried to grasp the seriousness of the situation with his eyes, and then stopped quickly "S/o.." he quickly stood up and then picked you up and took you to the bathroom "I...I don't know what I'm doing I was so confused" he slowly filled the tub with hot water and he placed kisses on your hair "I'm sorry my love..." you rested your head on his neck and let the hot water flow down your body "Please forgive me..I wasn't in the right mind, beautiful"
Fyodor Dostoyevski
You felt like you were in heaven as his lips slid across your skin. My eyes rolled to the back of your head. You couldn't stop the moans escaping from your mouth as he quickly ate you away. Your heart was beating so fast that it stopped "F-fyodor!...Fuck!" your hands gripped the sheets and you closed your eyes tightly, trying to bury your head in the pillow, feeling the knot in your stomach quickly close to breaking. "I-I.." you stammered, "Go on, dear.. I can't get enough of the taste yet"
While swallowing your pleasure juices quickly, he squinted his eyes and grabbed you by the waist and put you in doggy position. "Tonight is going to be a long night, my love... it would be better for you if you prepare yourself" Your first tour, your second tour, your third tour, you were still continuing to fuck, it was starting to hurt.. you felt a hard time. You felt in this situation. Normally you would tell this to your boyfriend and he would stop, but it was the first time you spent such a pleasure-filled evening with him and the compliments he told you were like melody in your ears
It felt unbearable now and it made you scream and cry from the pain. "Honey?? Are you okay? Don't be hard on yourself, my love” He kissed your eyes and wiped your tears and pulled you into his lap. You closed your eyes on his cold white skin and fainted right there. 'Was I too weak?' You thought, and when you came to your senses after 1-2 hours, you were lying on your bed in your nightgown. My eyes widened when I saw your boyfriend Fyodor on top of you "My love?? I..." his icy fingers tangled in your hair "Are you okay? Why didn't you tell me...? "
You felt empty and closed your silence, but you felt as if his purple eyes were looking into your soul "I can't let anyone, including me, hurt you or upset you. You should know this best" As you buried your head deeper into the pillow, his voice was more muffled in your ears. You held his hands and pulled him to the bed. "In your lap I want to sleep" He smiled and laid down next to you and hugged you "You are the only person in this world that I care about, my dear"
This was actually a request!!! but since I accidentally sent it after drafting it, I deleted the post and then the request disappeared. I hope the person who wrote this request sees this!!!
We are 700 people!! I will return to my activity as soon as possible, I love you!! I will do your wishes!
Enjoy!
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caelanglang · 11 months
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you cannot save a past that you cannot remember...
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but maybe you can learn and accept that it will always be a part of you… somewhere within.
close up shots :
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originalartblog · 1 year
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[Storm Bringer]
My lips could not help but automatically curl into a smile as I watched Master Chuuya walk with a spring in his step.
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little-blurry-stars5 · 3 months
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yuyonyu · 6 months
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Love that is bound to end in tragedy
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yokohamapound · 3 months
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How about some angsty HCs?? 😏
How would Kunikida, Dazai, Fukuzawa, Chuuya and Fyodor (or anyone else you’d like too) react to their s/o taking a hit for them that would have otherwise been fatal if they didn’t?? S/o ends up being okay but the gentlemen are all angsty in the meantime >:)
Thanks so much lovely! 🥰💕
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Hello, my lovely! It's been a while since I wrote some good old angst, so this scratched an itch. I hope these are what you are looking for!
Characters: Nakahara Chuuya, Dazai Osamu, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Fukuzawa Yukichi, Kunikida Doppo
Contents: death mentions, suicide mentions, controlling behaviour, anger issues
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Nakahara Chuuya
Ooh, it’s kinda difficult for him to deal with? He’s in two minds about it, really. 
On one hand, he’s strong enough that whatever blow was being dealt to him really wouldn’t have hurt him that much, or so he tells himself. All he can think about is that moment where the bullet/bomb/fireball, whatever it is, was coming toward you. Yes, you survived it, but he had to live through the nanoseconds of absolute hell when he thought he was just about to see another person he cares about die right before his eyes. 
His temper erupts afterward. He’s furious, yelling at you that you “didn’t fuckin’ need to do that!” You’d be forgiven for thinking that it’s his pride you’ve hurt, but it’s anger born of worry. Those few moments he thought you were going to die were harrowing for him. 
Imagine if he carelessly lost the person he loves the most, just because he was too slow or too stupid to see it coming? Shit, he could never live with himself if that happened. 
However, there’s the other side of the coin. Which is that you cared about him enough to intercept a blow aimed at him. Chuuya can’t remember the last time someone did that for him. He’s used to being the tank, to soaking up all the violence so the geniuses can get on with their schemes. He doesn’t really know how to handle someone trying to protect him, like he’s something vulnerable.
He likes it and he doesn’t. He’s grateful and he’s pissed. Chuuya’s a complicated creature. 
Once he’s done yelling and has calmed down a little, he’ll mutter something that sounds like a ‘thank you’, though he says it with his eyes mulishly averted and one arm wrapped tightly around your waist. He won’t be letting you out of his sight for a while, even while he’s being a grouch.
Dazai Osamu
While he might not show it on the surface, this has a rather profound effect on Dazai. Remember the last time someone he loved died in front of him?
While he pretends to be calm on the surface, inside he’s in turmoil. He should have seen it coming; you’re the self-sacrificing sort, always trying to save him in one or another. But before now, it hasn’t been literal. 
I feel like time moves very slowly for someone as fast as Dazai. He was able to process far too much information in those few seconds you were in danger. All of his mistakes, laid out for him as plain as day. 
He tends to convince himself that he can plan around every kind of incident but this is a start reminded that this isn’t always the case.
“Hey, bella?” His tone is unusually serious. His hand on your shoulder. “I’m going to need you not to do that again. Believe it or not, I don’t want to see you die in front of me.”
If you pay close attention, you’ll notice Dazai doesn’t make any more double suicide jokes after that. They don’t have the same appeal. Dazai doesn’t think he could stand to watch you die, even if you did want to join him. 
He keeps a close watch on you after that, turning up unexpectedly throughout your day without any explanation, his lanky form popping up like a weed.
Fyodor Dostoevsky
While he will never, ever reveal it, this will shake Fyodor’s iron-clad ego a little bit. He likes to think he is in control of everything, and he can predict every single action of yours down to the blink. For whatever reason, he didn’t foresee you getting in his way and taking a hit meant for him. 
You gain an element of unpredictability, which is both intriguing and alarming for him. 
There is also the fact that you stepped in to take a hit for him. While he’s used to having underlings who look up to him like a god (Ivan), he doesn’t count you amongst the peons. He’s got you wrapped around his little finger, but in a way that promotes adoration and obedience, not self-sacrificing recklessness. He’ll have to step back and examine your relationship somewhat.
“My darling, what was the meaning of that?” he asks of you, his tone soft and a little dangerous. “I do not need you flinging yourself in the path of danger for me. I have everything in hand.”
He likes your devotion, but he doesn’t want you getting in the way of his plans. And he does care about you, love you in his own way—he doesn’t want to lose something he sees as his. 
If you were injured at all, he will have the best private doctors on hand to treat you. Be prepared for his love and attention to be a little stifling for a while. He won’t want to let you out of his sight. 
As for the person whose attack you foiled? Fyodor will turn the full weight of his enormous intellect to destroying them. They were dead the moment their attack came near something he cares about.
Fukuzawa Yukichi
Fukuzawa is very much the self-sacrificing sort. He’s said more than once that he doesn’t mind giving up his life in order to ensure peace in Yokohama, or to protect the lives of the younger members of the agency. He’s heavily bound by duty.
While he holds these values to himself, he doesn’t expect you to abide by the same code. In fact, he doesn’t want you to. You’re not a grizzled old samurai like him. (His words, not yours.)
He also heavily dislikes the idea that you were in danger because of him. Your relationship with him shouldn’t be a source of danger for you. As soon as he’s sure you’re safe and well, he will sit back and mull things over in his silent, intense way. He considers all options, from simply killing the person who tried to attack him, to ending your relationship with him to ensure your safety.
Thankfully, he comes to the conclusion that you are an adult who knows what is good for you. He’s never hidden the truth from you, and if you’re willing to face that to stand at his side, then Fukuzawa needs to respect that. He can’t make your decisions for you. 
“However,” he says. “I must ask that you do not do that again. I can accept my own death, but not yours.”
“Don’t you trust me to watch your back?”
“Obviously, you can be trusted,” he says. “Today is evidence enough, but know that I could not live with myself if you were injured or killed looking out for me. If death is coming for me, I have earned it.”
He can’t really be talked out of this mindset, but that’s part of why you fell for him in the first place. Just make him a promise that you won’t put yourself at risk on his behalf. 
Kunikida Doppo
Poor Kunikida.
One of his ideals is that he will never watch anyone die right in front of him if he can help it. The last time he had to watch an innocent person die, it almost shattered his psyche. 
If you were to die in front of him, it would break him utterly. Even though you’re fine, the close shave rattles him down to his core. Instead of blowing his top and then settling down, the way you’re used to him doing, Kunikida becomes grim and quiet. 
He refuses to step away from your bedside while you’re in the hospital for a check-up after the incident. His notebook of ideals is folded in his pocket, ignored. The fact he isn’t scribbling anything down is a little alarming. He’s not Kunikida if he’s not adding little notes to it every five minutes. He has his hands steepled together, his face grim behind his glasses.
“Are you going to yell at me?” you ask him. 
Kunikida lifts his gaze to you, almost as if he’s surprised to hear you speak. He breaks out of his reverie a little bit, sitting up and pushing his glasses further up his nose. The light hits the lenses, hiding his expression from you a little. His voice is sombre.
“I must thank you for saving my life,” he tells you, almost formal. 
“That’s not the only thing bothering you, is it?” You know him well enough by now. You reach out and take one of his hands.
Kunikida fingers tighten around yours, trembling slightly. It’s the only way that you can see how completely off centre he is. 
“Kunikida?”
“Don’t…don’t make me worry like that again. Please.”
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