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sea-moon-star · 9 months

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Bangtan Village: Pregnancy Series || Hyung Line: 1

1: Deciding to have a baby

Pairing: BTS hyung line x f!reader, namjoon x lawyer!oc, seokjin x professor!oc, yoongi x chef!oc, hoseok x fashion designer!oc

Genre: Fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, husband!BTS, dad!BTS

WC: 4k (1k each)

Summary: The part of Bangtan's life where they're all living next to each other in a privately owned township that's just outside Seoul, it's close enough for them to get to their social & work lives but far enough to provide them with privacy as they've become global legends after the end of their most successful reunion, comeback & tour of 2025-26. While they continue working simultaneously on solo & group endevours, they take it slow to focus on their personal life, especially with their growing families taking precedence. As of now, all 7 members are married, with Hoseok & Jimin already having kids of their own. But they're nowhere close to done, the number of tiny humans in this village is yet to increase.

A/N: Here's me celebrating JK's BB All Kill, we did so good Army! Fandom hug & here's a gift for all of us 🌊🌙⭐️

Kim Namjoon x Im Mae-Hwa 🌸

Unlike most couples, Namjoon and his wife had the baby talk even before they were married, or rather on the day that they ended up becoming engaged to each other. It went all the way back to that day when she’d told him that they needed to “talk” just as things were getting serious and he worried that he’d lost her even before things had become official. Here, he sat with a ring in his pocket while she looked so pale and serious, with her feet rocking constantly under the table, that he was certain she was going to break up with him. He thought that the fame had caught up, the curse of it all was finally going to end up with him losing yet another of his simple joys. Another loss for Kim Namjoon even as RM of BTS peaked. He wanted to speak, to make a last ditch effort to salvage this, to do whatever it took to convince her to change her mind but she wouldn’t allow it, she put a finger on his lips, “Please, don’t. You’re far too much of a smooth talker and I’ll fall for your charm all over again and lose my will to do this. I need to, I have to do this. You don’t understand…” Even as he struggled to fight the words at the tip of his tongue, something in her gaze told him to swallow his pride and listen. Tears glistened in her eyes as she looked at him and said, “I have been hiding something from you. I never wanted to, I wanted to tell you right away but it was never the right moment. It was too soon, then things were going so well that got swept away in the romance of it all and now it’s too late to fix it, but I have to come clean. I know you brought me here to propose to me, I heard you talking to the waiter as I stepped out of the washroom, but don’t. We can’t do this, not until you know what you’re signing up for. Icanthavekidsican’tbeamom.” She said without a single breath between the words, knowing that it was the only way to get them out without them dying in her throat. “I know you want kids, I do too. And I know your parents want them too, I know you’re old enough and you want to settle down more than ever. But… now you see why we can’t? You’d make a great father and I’d want nothing more but to raise children with you, I can’t imagine doing it with anyone else. You want a house full of kids, I’m not even sure I can give you one. So I’d understand if you change your mind, you haven’t even given the ring yet. It’s not too late, think it through.” But to her utter shock, he sighed and smiled like she hadn’t just given him the most devastating news of his life. He reached out to squeeze her hand as he got out of his chair and went down on one knee, pulling the ring out as he said, “It doesn’t matter. I love you. I want to marry you. If there’s anyone I want as my life partner, my best friend, my companion, it’s you. Mother of my children or not, that’s just one of the many roles. We could adopt, try IVF or surrogacy, or we could just not have kids altogether. I’m okay with whatever we decide, just as long as I get to decide with you beside me. That’s my only deal breaker, not this. Never this. So will you, do me the honor of being my wife and grow old with me by your side?” And as tears of joy and relief streamed down her face, she nodded her head off as he slipped the ring on. And on the day they signed their marriage certificate, they also decided to file their paper work for adoption, knowing that it would take it’s own sweet time to come but they were ready. They had a head start to baby planning, afterall. And he’d never given up on the hope that she would be his baby momma. 🌸

Kim Seokjin x Choi Yun-Hee 💐

Jin was on video call from set, as he rejuvenated himself from a busy day at work by watching his sister in law and you play with his nephew & nieces. As the phone got passed around the house like a hot potato with everyone wanting to talk to him, the one person he wanted to speak to the most was busy with the youngest addition to the family. She was putting the littlest one to bed, rocking his cradle with her eyes trained on the rosy cheeked infant and even as Ahreum passed the phone to her, before he could say a word, she shushed him. “Yaaaah! He’s sleeping. Keep it an octave lower.” The same person who had fallen in love with him for his high triple notes and silver voice was now telling him to be quiet. He found it hilariously ironic but followed her lead. How could he not? She had him wrapped around his tiny little pinky, even though it had been 3 years since they had gotten married and way past their supposed honeymoon phase. “Jagi, I know he has my genes and he’s cute and all, but you do remember, I’m world wide handsome right? I have to be back in 2 minutes, spare me a second, wont’ you?” He exclaimed and her cheeks matched the colors of her blush as she turned to him sheepishly and said, “Hi, Jinnie. You’ll always be my number one, you know that! How’s your day going, love? Have you been hydrating? Please take care, it’s been a long day. You look exhausted, when will you be back? What do you think will help you relax? I’ll keep myself free when you return, we’ll do whatever you want.” She bombarded him with questions as he cut her off and retorted, “Whatever I want? Do you promise? Then let’s make a baby tonight.” “Yes, sure.” She replied without even registering what he asked. Until it sank in a moment later. “Wait what?” She asked with a “o” framing her face as he grinned till his ears turned red and replied, “I know we we both wanted to focus on our careers and take things slow so we could enjoy each other’s company but don’t you think it’s time, jagi? Seeing you with him? I don’t think I can wait any longer. And I think hyung and noona are done having kids, if we start now, they’ll be able to grow up together. Won’t that be wonderful?” “You know I always wished I had a sibling, like you and your brother, I think you’re right. The baby fever is at an all time high and usually, I used to hold myself back because it wasn’t the right time, the right place, the right finances, always something or the other. But the way in which my body is reacting to this little bundle of joy, I think it’s time. This a sign, let’s do it.” She affirmed with a nod and he flashed her one of his trademark kisses and ended the call, fervently anticipating what was to come. 💐

Min Yoongi x Kang Deu-Lae 🌼

Min Yoongi & his wife were the kind of couple to plan everything down to the dot. They had a timeline for everything, from first kiss to living in, to getting married & down to the time when they'd start trying for kids. 2 years into their marriage, they'd promised each other. And as expected, as the date drew near, they had already mapped out the changes that were to be made accordingly- work schedules to be cleared, his wife had to stop consuming alcohol, he had to eat healthier & exercise, they wanted the best chance at conceiving. Yoongi carried a bottle of wine, the last one he knew his wife would have before they started officially trying. And she'd called him over to have a meal of his favorites at her restaurant, knowing that his diet would change too. This was a night to let go & mark the end of their honeymoon phase & enter the new era of their married life. As he got near the restaurant with a spring in his step, excited to get some quality time with his wife after a long day at work for both of them, he was surprised to see the number of light's on & cars parked outside. She'd called you after working hours & usually, you both would have the place to yourself but it seemed as if the staff hadn't left yet. To his utter shock, when he opened the door, what he didn't expect to see was you being paraded around the restaurant while the staff lifted you up on their shoulders as you made everyone around drink from a popped bottle of champagne. Everyone seemed to be in high spirits & celebrating that they didn't even realize you had entered.

It was only when his wife made eye contact with him that she quickly instructed her staff to put her down on the ground & dismissed everyone, they scampered away not wanting to bear the brunt of their head chef. They knew that the same jolly person celebrating with them was also capable of being a strict boss in a split second if needed. Yoongi loved that about her, knowing that while you were one of the most kind hearted & positive people in real life, when at work- you took on an alter ego that went hard & didn't compromise in the slightest. It helped him realize that there were others who'd understand the duality he himself faced both as Yoongi, BTS' Suga & Agust D. Although he loved her, that would never change but in this moment- all he could feel was anger & a sense of betrayal. He had no intentions of being the first one to make a move, seeing as she was the one who had ruined their night, not only had she decided to include others in what should've been their night alone, but moreover she had celebrated even without feeling the need to have him there. It was more like she had forgotten all about him, maybe this date wasn't as important as he'd assumed, perhaps she had changed her mind about wanting to start a family with him. He knew that her career was important to her, as was his to him. But if he could drop everything as per their planning & their timeline, couldn't she? It was something they had both agreed to before their marriage, so wasn't he only being fair in asking for that same effort to be reciprocated? As the room emptied out, with just the both of them left gazing at each other from a distance, she felt her legs go weak. They felt like jelly, she wasn't sure whether if it was the fact that she was been lifted around & now the floor didn't feel stable anymore or if it was the alcohol that was messing with her balance or just the way Yoongi was staring at her which caused her lose her mind, but she tripped over her own feet & stumbled forward. Yoongi rushed ahead out of instinct as he grabbed her before she hit the ground, lifting her up & making her sit on a chair. She was drunk, that was so unlike her that he felt another flare of anger but he swept it aside, knowing that she needed him right now & this would be better dealt with at a time when she was sober.

"Here, drink this. You'll feel better. Have you eaten yet?" He gave her a glass of water & noticed her stomach rumbling. He knew only too well how ironic but common it was for chef's to be the ones to be surrounded by food but constantly neglecting their own hunger pangs. He knew how often you worked full shifts without managing to eat yourself, sustaining a kitchen at one of the most popular restaurants in Itaewon wasn't an easy job, after all. He sighed & entered the kitchen himself, looking for food that he could give her, even though he hadn't eaten dinner either. He grabbed a pack of bread sticks with butter & gave them to her, intending to go back to the kitchen & cook them a meal. But her hand caught his wrist, holding him back from going back in, as she whispered,"Yoongs, please don't go. I'm sorry... I can explain." "Y/N, let me go... I need to get some food in you. Some real food! Let me cook us some pasta quickly, & then I'll be back. I'm not going anywhere." "You're mad at me, I can tell. You called me by my name, you only do that when you're upset with me. I'll cook you a meal, I'll make this up to you." She exclaimed as she got up from her chair & felt dizzy a minute later, seeing stars before her eyes as she tried to make it to the kitchen. Yoongi shook his head & took matters into his own hands, quite literally- as he lifted her up in his arms, even as she protested & took her to the kitchen, placing her on the counter top. "Okay? Now you can see that I'm not leaving you? I'm right here, I'm going to cook while you sit there quietly, alright? Please, baby?" He included the last bit for emphasis, knowing that she wouldn't be reassured without it otherwise. As he handed over the bowl of pasta to her, she gave him the first bite & he took it begrudgingly when she added, "You must be hungry too, you always say we shouldn't take our anger out on our food, so please eat with me?" When they'd finished eating, both of them feeling an improvement in their moods with their bellies full, she decided to break the silence by getting straight to the point, knowing that he wouldn't have any patience for her stories. "We know from unofficial sources that we're getting a Michelin star! I know what today means & I had all the plans to focus on that, on us but... you know how huge this is? I just got swept away in..." "Wait.. what? You're now a Michelin star chef? OMG, I'm so proud of you, love." He said immediately, cutting her cut off & catching her off guard. "You are?" She asked, as she pinched herself on the arm, checking if this was a dream or not. He let out a whoop of excitement & did a little dance around the kitchen, as if to show his happiness. "Baby, I know we had plans & yes, I was a little bit agitated but now that I know why... it doesn't matter. None of it matters. I'm so overjoyed for you, I'm proud of you! We can put everything else on hold while you focus on this yeah? Don't worry, I'm on your side, I'll support you in every way you need." Tears glistened in her eyes as she heard him express his love, & she smiled as she reached out to hug him tight & he lifted her through the air, getting her off the table onto the ground. "I appreciate what you just said, what you're offering me is something that I could only dream of. But as kind as you're being, I can't take it. I don't want this to change our timeline, today was an exception. But none of this success matters if I don't have you by my side to celebrate. I want to grow in my career but only if I also get to come home & share my wins with you & our kid... And before you object to what I'm saying, I'm going to quote you- you just said that you'd support me through anything I need- well, this is what I need. So are you in, you did promise you'd be on my side?" She said as she tilted her head & gave him her best puppy eyed look, which she knew would work.

Sure enough, he nodded in the smallest possible way, "I still don't think it's a great idea but we can think it through & if that's what you really want, then I guess we can make it work..." His lips betrayed him as they turned upwards to form a smile when he saw her fist pump into the air as she grinned from ear to ear at his answer. This was a strange turn of events despite all your planning, but if anyone knew of how life can turn out unexpectedly, it was him. And despite all the possible pain & loss he'd been through, he was also a firm believer that good things would come his way too- after all, that's how he'd found BTS, how he'd come across you.🌼

Jung Hoseok x Baek Hae-Baragi 🌻

Hobi was the first of the Bangtan brood to have a kid with his fashion designer, wife who he’d met through his sister-Jiwoo. Geum-hee was the first child in the family and rightfully spoilt with love by everyone. His daughter who’s name meant brightness, had truly brought light into the family with all her Samchuns & Imos doting on her, never leaving her alone for a second. She was pampered in a way that she wouldn’t even sleep without someone rocking her in their arms & as she grew up- she had Jimin’s eldest daughter, Ae-Cha who was the same age as her, alongside to do everything. However, in the recent times with the birth of Jimin’s second daughter, Mi-Cha, their attention had shifted & play time with Ae-Cha had reduced drastically. Even as adults kept her company at all times, she missed having someone younger who could keep up with her speed & interests. And today was no different, as soon as Hobi picked Geum-hee from pre-school, Geum-hee’s slouched & sulked in the back of the her car even as Hobi tried to get her to frown to turn into a smile. Usually singing alongsider her dad in the car, cookie dough ice cream from her favorite parlour, some cuddles from her dad & painting her nails were enough to distract her & make her happy but it had been hours since Hobi had been trying but all in vain. He’d been clinging to her, desperate to not leave her side as she moped around but she took that split second of his distraction to run into her room & close the door behind her. The sound of the slammed door shook both parents, Hobi’s wife widened her eyes at him, wondering what could’ve gone so wrong in her absence. “You try, I’ve done everything possible but nothing. She hasn’t said a word since she got back. I don’t know what’s wrong.” Hobi said as he tried to appear calm & nonchalant but it was obvious in the way that he clenched his jaw & paced around that he was anything but relaxed. The only thing that kept him going was the reassuring smile of his wife as she made her way to her daughter’s room, he trusted her to get through when he couldn’t. She knocked softly on her daughter’s door, only to be answered by the soft sobs that quite frankly broke their hearts. Hobi was one step away from knocking the door down, hearing his daughter’s wails pierce the silence at home. But his wife stopped him, gesturing at him to be patient until she’s tried. Geum-hee’s mother knew her daughter well enough, she saw the flutter of shadows from the cracks beneath the door. She knew that even if her daughter didn’t speak, she was here, she was listening. And so she sat down with her back to the door, hoping that her daughter would do the same on the other side & give her a chance. “It’s okay to cry, sweet girl. I know bad things happen, and it’s better to get it off your chest than to hold it in. I’m sorry you had a rough day, little one. Mommy & daddy have those too… but you know what keeps us going? We know that we’re not alone in it, as long as we’re together, everything will be alright… we have Hope on our side, how could it not?” Hobi admired the way his wife spoke to their daughter like she was her own person, not like a child who didn’t understand nor like an adult that was in a smaller body, but like someone who was young & yet who had her own choices to make & voice to be heard. “That’s the thing, I don’t have anyone. Everyone has someone or the other, mommies & daddies are together, siblings at school are together, I always get left alone.” Their daughter mumbled, as both parents train their ear to the door, to hear her soft words. “But you have us, cutie. You know appa would never leave you alone…” Hobi prattled anxiously but his daughter, hoping she knew that he’s always put her first. It was his wife & his rule that no matter what, Geum-hee had to come first. “But that’s not fair, appa. You shouldn’t have to choose between your girls. At the rollercoaster, you sat with me but even mommy was scared but she was all alone.

That always happens, you always take my side, never mommys.” The color left Hobi’s face when he heard that & realized the message he had been passing onto his daughter, he lip synced a “sorry” to his wife & his face sank into his palms, in regret. His wife quickly tried to repair the situation as she said, “But baby, omma doesn’t mind. Appa always asks omma if she’s okay, & only when I say yes, does he do that. Your appa loves me a lot & he takes care of me, you don’t have to worry.” “I know that but I don’t like you being alone. And sometimes, when you & I have girl’s nights- appa is alone. When we travel, we’re alone in the compartment with the other women, when we shop, he’s never there in our section, he should have a boy to give him company too.” Geum-hee shared & Hobi’s heart melted at the concern in his daughter’s voice for him, he lifted his face from his palms & leans against the door frame, as if willing the door to disappear so he could touch his daughter. “I know dad has his brothers from BTS, but they’re not always here. You both are not always with me. So the best solution is if we get me a brother. That way, everyone has someone- just like Jiwoo Imo & Appa.” She added, her voice getting louder & firmed, as if she was proud at having landed at this solution all by herself. “Is that what would make you, happy? If you had a sibling?” Geum-hee’s mom asked with bated breath & her loud resounding, “YES” made the answer quite clear. It was a split second decision, Hobi & his wife spoke soundlessly as he arched his eyebrow, asking her if she agreed with their daughter’s demands & her shrug as if to say that she had no choice but to do what their daughter asked. They both loved their daughter more than anything & although it was far from the right time to have a kid, they had gone back to using protection & birth control, their careers were in full swing, a 5 year gap wasn’t even ideal, until now they’d been of the opinion that one child was more than enough. But this changed everything, she changed everything. “Baby, if we say yes, will you open the door?” Hobi asked gently & his chest heaved in relief as he heard the click of the lock opening & his daughter put her arms around him & his wife. “Geum-hee, even if we have a baby, it may not be a brother… that’s not something appa & omma can decide, it’s upto luck. Is that okay?” Geum-hee’s mother tried to explain, not wanting there to be any misunderstanding. She knew how big of a decision this was for her family & wasn’t willing to go ahead until she got full clarity & in this case, approval from her daughter. “Does that mean I’ll have a sister? Like Ae-Cha has Mi-cha? That’s okay too!! Daddy will be still be alone but atleast you can give him company while I enjoy with my little sister… or brother. I don’t mind, I’m just excited to be a big sister!” Geum-hee squeeled & her parents smiled warmly at her answer & kissed her senseless, surprisingly happy at the turn of events. 🌻

To Be Continued... 🌊🌙⭐️

#bts dad au #bts series #namjoon fanfic #jin fanfic #yoongi fic #hobi fanfic #bbhot100 #jungkook seven #bangtan sonyeondan

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writersrealmbts · 1 year

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Not In Love: Habitual Provision

Description: Part 2 of Not In Love. You’re helping Tae and Yoongi house-hunt, which is a very difficult thing. Especially with five kids and a hectic schedule. What surprises await you?

Warnings: None?

Posted: 12/06/2022

Tags: family au, yoongi x taehyung x reader?, hybrid au, Taegi x reader eventually, Kid!Bangtan, Kid Jimin

Fluff with some angst (because I was aiming for fluff so I got angst): 5,427

Author’s Note: This is for my @kerikaaria baby! For her birthday! Again! Yes I know it’s a day early, happy birthday anyway! Also, I have a second post for you, but this was the big one.

Jimin and Hoseok looked up at you with confused expressions.

You shook your head, having no answers for Taehyung’s behavior beyond it being Taehyung.

“I’m telling you, the angels say this is not the place for us.”

“Tae, the angels didn’t tell you that your husband would be furious about you bringing four kids home without asking, so I think the angels aren’t that reliable.” Yoongi rolled his eyes. “Also, we’re not so great on options, right now.”

You sighed and did another headcount. “Where’s Seokjinnie?”

His head poked up over the kitchen counters.

“Don’t climb onto the counters,” You instructed softly, grateful for his good hearing, waving him back over to the group.

Namjoon was tracing the shapes on the rug.

Jungkook was looking at Taehyung with big eyes from Yoongi’s arms.

Taehyung was gesturing around. “It’s got a bad vibe, hyung! We can’t raise our kids with such a bad vibe.”

“We’re not choosing our home based on a ‘vibe’,” Yoongi said with some exasperation.

Continue reading on Ao3

#taegi #dads!taegi #DAD!YOONGI #dad!taehyung #dad!tae #taehyung x yoongi #taehyung x reader #yoongi x reader #taegi x reader #kid!jimin #kid!hoseok #kid!seokjin #kid!namjoon #hybrid au #hyrid!hoseok #hybrid!seokjin #hybrid!namjoon #kid!jungkook

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guksauce · 2 years

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~TickledPink!~

Part Eight

Pairing: Jjk x Reader Pregnant AU

Word Count: 3,065K

Rated: M

Book Warnings: Mentions of Sexual Assault, Mild Smut, Adult Language, Fluff City Bish, 18+

Author: @guksauce

Notes: Hey! Quick note before we start- In October it’ll be TWO YEARS since I posted Chapter 7. I couldn’t be more sorry to those of you who have eagerly awaited new parts to this story, to this family. I’ve promised lots to come in the past and I intend on keeping that promise. FYI: everything from here on out will be shorter and the timeline will be more drastic simply because I don’t see myself squeezing too much more out of this. I have many more projects in progress for my Taekook fans and my Yoongi Stan’s, so please look forward to that. If there are any things you’d like to see come from this story or wonder where the characters are in the future, feel free to ask questions or reach out! Thank you to those who show this story and myself, lots of love and support despite my hiatus. I hope you get out of this what you’ve been longing for! Thank you!

Tag List: @jamkookies @jk97luv @1-in-abillion @cityofdreams-writing

Today is unseasonably warm for early December. The sweater you'd chosen for today in hopes that the winter breeze would be enough to make you shiver sticks uncomfortably to your arms. It doesn't help that it's been raining since you woke up this morning. It's disgustingly humid. At fourteen weeks pregnant, after standing in front of the counter at Smoothie Central for the last 15 minutes staring up at the blackboard hanging on the wall and studying the endless list of flavors written in at least 8 different colors, you didn't think it would already be this difficult to make a decision about food. Yet, here you are, on the verge of tears because there's a note in the corner of the board that says you can combine any flavors you want and you aren't sure if you'd rather have mint chocolate chip or razzle dazzle raspberry.

Snapped out of your internal debate, you are grateful to be met with a pair of pretty honey brown eyes and chocolate cropped hair, accompanied by a smile that reminds you of Tae. “I hear the mango raspberry swirl is really wonderful.” The girl suggests, offering the tissue hanging in her hand. Sighing thankfully with a slight bow of your head, you take it.

“Do you think if I stand here long enough, someone will decide for me?” You whine, wiping away a fallen tear, the air feeling cooler and anxiety lifting as the two of you laugh together. “Thank you so much. I'm sorry for being a mess. If you're in line, please go ahead of me. I'm obviously too emotional to order a smoothie.” The same Tae-inspired smile that graces her lips says that she doesn't mind.

“You're okay! I just walked in. It's honestly enough to just be out of the heat.” Deciding for you, she steps up to the counter and orders one Mango Raspberry Swirl smoothie and you wonder what part of your messy teary-eyed existence she felt compelled to talk to. Dabbing away more tears, you begin to feel lighter.

“Thank you so much for doing this, you really didn’t have to.” You suppose the kindness of a stranger has its way of doing that but when she returns with your drink in one hand, her other dripping condensation from her Mocha Green Tea drink, you’re further surprised when she motions to a table in the corner against the window.

“I know. But! If there’s anything I've learned from teaching a classroom full of wild children is that I CANNOT imagine what it would be like to have one inside of me.” The laughter that bubbles out of you both for the next hour feels unfamiliar. Even before your life had been graced by seven amazing men, friendships of adolescent life had been nonexistent to you. Between working twelve hour shifts at the diner and a few failed attempts at emotional connections with potential partners, life had been slow. The other women at work were older than you, only working at the diner to make enough money to afford a bus ticket back to their hungry families at home. They were sweet to you but friendship? That wasn't something you'd had since Namjoon still lived there.

Three and a half months was hardly enough time to start showing but you supposed your emotional state filled that gap. But still, you were curious to see what the woman across from you had to say. “How did you know? That I'm pregnant.” A single sip of your swirled smoothie has you both melting in your chair and buzzing to life at the same time.

“There are several expecting mothers at the Kindergarten I teach at. And a few others in various trimesters in some of my lectures at the University, it's hard not to notice. I’d know a teary eyed mother anywhere.” It's beyond endearing, the way she tilts her head when she's talking. The accent lingering on her tongue comes through a little rougher than she probably realizes but you can tell she's working hard to perfect her Korean. Through your admiration, you shoot a hand in her direction. “I'm Y/n by the way. It’s lovely to meet you.” Her response is just as adoring as she grips your hand firmly into her own. It's soft and you find yourself oddly connected to her. “I'm Jojo. You too.”

The entire afternoon is filled with effortless chatter. Jojo tells you she's from Albania and is here to study at Seoul National University, majoring in philosophy with a minor in English where she uses the skill to teach Kindergarteners to speak fluently. She tells you she lives just a couple blocks from here and has a side job at a coffee shop that you're sure you recognize as Namjoon's favorite. You wonder if they've ever spoken to each other before and realize just how small the world is.

The longer you sit together in front of the rain-streaked window and chat like two elderly women in a hair salon, the easier it gets to dive deeper into each other’s worlds. You’re fascinated by her ability to soak up knowledge and you quickly become comfortable with this quirky, straightforward, and boyish side to her. Jokes come flying from her lips and you can't remember when the last time was that you had laughed quite this hard. It was enthralling to say the least. She reminded you of Namjoon for that very reason. You wanted to take Jojo home with you to meet the guys right away, and you felt silly for thinking like one of her students on show-and-tell day, but you didn't care. This was the first thing you'd truly done on your own since you arrived in Seoul. However, you weren't sure if it was even allowed, or if Jojo would be interested in something like that. So, you settle for taking her number and promise her, under the cover of matching black umbrellas and unforgiving gray skies, that you'll give her a call tomorrow, parting ways with the new friend you’d just made. The tears you’d cried earlier were long since forgotten and the day was brighter despite its angry state, now filled with fresh blended berries and laughter. You couldn't wait to see the boys; entering the house with such force that Jin, from his lazy position on the couch, jumps at least a foot and a half and yells a short string of obscenities before realizing it’s you.

“Jesus Christ Y/n! You scared the hell out of me! What are you doing barging in here like that you little demon.” It's hard to be sorry when you're doubled over with laughter, all but cackling, your knees threatening to give out underneath you. Jin can’t hold back his laughter either, chuckling heavily as he watches a side of you unfold that he's never had the pleasure of witnessing before. Watching your small hand caress the beginning of your tiny baby bump, he remembers the sweet girl Namjoon grew up with. This same sweet girl he’d heard in many calls, seen in many facetimes, and had been told countless stories about. Jin hadn’t had much time with you since your arrival in their home, but your calm demeanor blended well with the rest of his members and he was happy to have you there regardless of everyone else’s opinion. You’d quickly become somewhat of a little sister to him through the eyes of his best friend over the years and he was going to make certain that you had men in your life that would protect you and care for you. And he was going to start right now with a little bit of food bribery. Standing from the couch, his mind shot straight to food, thinking it a surefire way to spend the start of the evening with you.

“Come on. I was about to make some ramen. Are you hungry?” Looking after him fondly, you smiled at the brother you wished you'd had. Tall and kind, he was the brother you’d imagined would spontaneously make you ramen just in time to spoil whatever dinner may have come shortly after. Eagerly, you hopped onto the stool at the island and laced your hands together in front of you with mock patience. “Yes, please.”

By the time evening rolled around, the sun had sunk far beneath the horizon and was replaced by the face of the moon. The temperature had dropped significantly and the rain had subsided. Once again the group had piled into the living room in front of the roaring fireplace when the shrill ring of Namjoons phone broke through the light chatter they shared. “Hello?” Joon greets sleepily.

Behind you, laying on the floor, Jungkook reaches a hand up to rub softly at your back when your cross-legged position between him and Tae proves itself to be rather uncomfortable. You bend this way and that, and give up when the pain in your back seems to worsen. Switching to a more comfortable position on your side in front of him, you play idly with the tassels hanging from Tae’s sweater. If it hadn’t been for the unhappy and knowing glances Joon kept shooting you, you would have cuddled back against the sleepy bunny behind you already, your own eyes getting more and more droopy with every passing minute. The guilt bubbling in your stomach keeps you where you are but it doesn’t stop Jungkook from running the backs of his fingers up and down your spine.

“Three days!? How did-” Namjoon all but shouts, accidentally knocking Hobi and Jin off of his shoulders when he sits up bone straight in response to whatever news he receives. “No. Of course not! But-” Whatever the news is, Joons mix of emotions makes everyone a little more on edge. Especially Jimin, who had been curled up on Yoongi’s lap resting his eyes, was now sitting up and concerned for the seriousness of the conversation taking place.

“Yes, Sir.” Namjoon stated, a small smile forming on his lips, the initial shock dissipating. In place of the shock, Joon rockets out of his spot and leaps into the air like a popped kernel and screams, “WE’RE GOING ON A WORLD TOUR!” Simultaneously each of the members shoot up the same as Joon had, all of them creating a single bag of combusting corn, popping up to hug each other tight. Everyone except...you. Watching them huddle together and cheer happily of course makes your heart thrum excitedly, but a tour means...they’ll be gone. For how long?

Sneaking away to the kitchen, you do everything you can not to let your pregnant hormonal emotions ruin this moment for them. You can hear them going crazy in the living room, even Yoongi who happily sings out a similar goal chant to the one you’ve heard them shout out before while watching pro-soccer games on TV. Amongst it all, Jimin suggests that they go out on the town tonight before they have to leave in 3 days and your heart beats a little harder in your ears, stinging hot tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. Hurriedly, you grab a glass from the cabinet with shaky hands and fill it with cold water from the faucet to the brim before chugging it down. It doesn't help, no matter how bad you want it to. The house is going to be empty. There will be no one. Just me behind these locked doors? What if someone gets in? The boys’ voices rawr through the house, their happiness filling it so completely as they shoot off in different directions violently to get themselves ready, that your emotions are being roughly tugged through the layers of trauma you'd worked so hard to forget.

“Y/n?” You almost don't hear Kook when he calls out to you. It feels like your entire being is just flooding with water over your head and you're starting to drown. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?” Chest heaving and throat closing, you turn with your hands crossed over your chest to the man of your dreams, embarrassment swirling into the concoction of emotions you’ve already created in your mind. It overwhelms you, swallows you further under the water and finally a thick sob spills out of you allowing you to breathe again. Jungkook closes the distance between the two of you faster than he can say your name again, securing an arm around your waist and the other rubbing between your shoulder blades. “Y/n…”

“I don't want to be alone, Jungkook. I can’t be without you. Can’t be without them.” You sob into his black shirt balled up in your white-knuckled fists. It reminds you of the morning they’d picked you up from your car. Jungkook had held you as tight as he could all the way to the hospital, swearing to you and whoever else was listening that he’d never let you go. You’d found a love from him you never thought you would. This time though, there was nothing Jungkook could say to make you feel better. Instead he let you cry in his arms, feeling helpless and prayed that an answer would come to mind.

Faced with the inevitable truth of having to leave you here by yourself, miss you, and miss out on watching the child in your stomach grow each day, produces his own salted tears. Despite having only heard the news not even a whole five minutes ago, he already misses you more than he can figure out how to say right now. Carefully, he scoops an arm under the bend of your knees and lifts, carrying you to your bedroom like a bride. Jungkook’s heart breaks when he curls up behind you in an attempt to comfort, but your face is covered with your pretty hands and your body shutters with another wave of sobs.

“Shhh...y/n, it's alright…” He coo’s into your hair, his lips leaving soft loving kisses into your temple that magically softens the beat of your heart. You press your back against his chest as firmly as you can, willing your heart to match his in speed and rhythm, doing your best to get your breathing under control once your mind stops trying to drown you. Jungkook takes one of your hands in his and presses it against your chest with his over top, breathing deeply in through his nose and releases out through his mouth for you to follow. “Breathe with me baby, come on.” He instructs softly and you do, your throat finally releasing the air stuck in the pit of your stomach with a gasp, fighting the hiccuped sobs that try to steal your progress. “Good love. It’s alright. I'm here.” The panic crushing your insides washes away. Clenched, aching muscles relax and you go limp against the man holding you close. He’s warm and smells like the peaches the two of you shared for dessert tonight and you can't imagine even for one second being without him.

Jungkook doesn't move a muscle. His achy arm trapped under you begs to be set free and the hand pressed to yours’ tingles from being in the same position for far too long, but he doesn't move. “I promise I won't leave your side tomorrow. We’re going to spend all day together and we can do anything you want, okay?” Its pitch black in your room, only the faintest glow of a street lamp on the corner can be seen through your closed blinds but you nod anyway because you know if you try to speak you might spiral again. And he understands, and doesn't move a muscle until he knows you're asleep.

~Jungkook POV~

Before he decides he can face the guys again without shedding another tear, Jungkook leans frozen against your doorframe. It's cold and his skin is pulled so tight with goosebumps it's almost painful, but he endures it. For you. He watches you, eyes adjusted to the darkness surrounding him, making sure you're breathing okay before he reminds himself he's supposed to be celebrating tonight. It doesn't take him long. He doesn't try as hard as the others to fancy himself up this time. A simple pair of black jeans topped by an equally as black turtleneck sweater under his favorite leather jacket and a light scrunching of his long hair and he's ready to go. But he doesn't want to. He knows you're fast asleep in your bed just across the hall and he wants so badly to strip himself of these clothes and sleep next to you forever.

Kook stays quiet in the car the entire duration of the ride and orders water once they are seated at the bar, taking the stool on the very end to keep himself from having to force conversation with the others. Although, his behavior doesn't go unnoticed by Jimin who’d heard Y/n’s cries from her room and Jungkook's comforting voice following after.

“How’s Y/n?” Jimin asked and pressed his beer bottle to his lips, trying to suck down the negative energy with the alcohol inside. Water in hand, Jungkook never once takes a sip, forgetting the frigid glass is even there as he watches the condensation crawl agonizingly slow to the bottom of the class and answers. “Devastated.” Jimin see’s the flash of hurt behind Jungkook's eyes and realizes just how in love with you he is. Just how in love with his job he is. Fortunately, none of the rest of them had been faced with the idea of having to choose one or the other but Jimin does his best to empathize with his younger brother.

“You know, if it weren't for the pregnancy, she could come with us. So, what's not to say she and the baby won't come with us next time? Who knows if we’ll even get another opportunity like this.” Jimins right, and just imagining bringing you and hopefully your already born child on the next trip to see how much Kook loves his occupation makes him feel ten times better. Reaching up to rest a hand on Jimin's shoulder, Jungkook gives him a look of gratitude and squeezes before turning to the bartender.

“Give me a beer! And a shot of whiskey for my 6 brothers.”

Part Seven

Master List

Part Nine

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koolibrary · 1 year

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Chapters: 13/13 Fandom: 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Min Yoongi | Suga/Park Jimin Characters: Min Yoongi | Suga, Park Jimin (BTS), Kim Seokjin | Jin, Jeon Jungkook, Kim Namjoon | RM, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, Kim Taehyung | V, Lee Taemin (Mentioned) Additional Tags: single parent jimin, Kid Jeon Jungkook, Kid Kim Taehyung | V, Kid Kim Namjoon | RM, wow i'm bad at tagging, Fluff, i guess, jungkook is just a fucking cutie pie, Shy Jungkook, yoongi is kinda depressed, but not really, brief mention of suicidal thoughts, but only brief really, Single Parent AU, jimin is a parent of two, Namkook are brothers, mentions of past death, Like really minor, also I just want to mention again how fluffy this shit is, SO MUCH FLUFF, can't even tag this as angst either Series: Part 1 of Fool For You Summary:

To be honest it's been a long time since Yoongi felt genuinely happy. His life feels like a cage he can't escape. And it's not like he never tried to live the life he wanted to live. He did - and it ended horribly somehow. So people really shouldn't blame him for wanting to end his life or at least thinking about it. He didn't excpect his life to get better at this point.

Then again he also didn't expect Park Jimin to stumble into his life as well - with two little hands grabbed in his.

Yoongi finds himself at the swimming pool wanting to die but rescues Jimin's son from drowning instead.

#yoonmin #single dad jimin #single parent jimin #parents yoonmin #cute jungkook #personal fav #baby jungkook #baby namjoon #baby taehyung #fluff #single dad au

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theiris-storyvault · 2 years

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realize⏤ part 5

#namjoon imagine #bts scenarios #bts imagines #bts reactions #bts boyfriend #bts stories #namjoon x reader #namjoon x you #namjoon #bts namjoon #kim namjoon #namjoon x y/n #namjoon x f #namjoon dad au #bts fake chat #bts fic #bts dad au

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luciathcv · 21 days

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the final stretch - jjk

summary: the third trimester is hard, but it's all worth it in the end || warnings: idk reader is pregnant? || genre: fluff, established relationship, pregnancy au || word count: approximately 850

when you're in your third trimester, jungkook is extra caring

not that he isn't very caring all the other times

it's just now, he's extra about it lol

but you really love it and you really appreciate it

pregnancy was a lot, the whole pregnancy really, but especially in the third trimester

and jungkook was there for you the whole time

being pregnant caused you to swell a bit in the ankles

and so it hurt a lot for you to walk

and jungkook knew that

so he did a lot of running around for you

getting you everything you needed

going out to run errands for you guys

etcetera

"Sit down, baby. Sit down." Jungkook said as he walked you over to your guys' couch and gently sat you down.

You guys were just out at a family event that you couldn't miss, and it called for a lot of standing and walking around, which made your ankles swell up a bit as well as causing a lot of pain in your feet. Jungkook could tell you weren't exactly enjoying yourself, so he ended up getting you guys out of there a bit early.

You let out a whine as you put your legs up on the couch, your hands making their way to your belly.

"I know, I know." Jungkook said as he leaned down and moved some hair out of your face. He kissed your forehead before going to the kitchen and getting an icepack from the freezer.

He came back to you and sat by your feet, putting the icepack on your ankles, rotating it every minute or so.

he also took notice of how insecure you've gotten

you were really upset about the way you looked while pregnant

and he knew that

he felt so bad

You stood in front of the full length mirror you guys had in your bedroom. You were wearing some loose pajama pants and a tank top. You had the tank top pushed up so that you could see your belly.

Jungkook walked into the room and you looked over at him. "Y/n." He said as he walked over to you, standing behind you as he put his hands on your belly.

"Do you still think I'm pretty?" You asked him and he looked at you with wide eyes.

"Of course I do. I always will." Jungkook told you.

"Even when we're old?" You asked.

"Even when we're old." Jungkook confirmed.

You looked back at your reflection in the mirror. "My belly button is huge, my stomach itself is even bigger, my boobs hurt, my ankles are fat, my back hurts, it's too much." You complained.

"I know but it's almost over." Jungkook tries to reassure you.

"I guess so." you agreed.

"Think about it, it'll all be worth it once our baby is here." Jungkook said and you nodded, he was right.

"Yeah, I know." You said.

along with everything else, you were having the most difficult time at night

you could not sleep

it was so uncomfortable that you just couldn't sleep

Jungkook was fast asleep next to you as you lie on your bed, your hands on your stomach, and your eyes squeezed shut as you tried to sleep. You were having shut a hard time though as you were so uncomfortable. Not only were you uncomfortable but your hormones were just so all over the place that you were extra emotional. With all of that combined, you just couldn't help but start crying.

It started off quiet but then it just progressed and got worse as you started crying harder. Jungkook shot up, waking up to the sound of your sniffles and sobs.

One hand made it's way under your neck as he started gently rubbing it, while the other made it's way to your stomach, rubbing it as well.

"What's wrong?" He sleepily asked.

You sniffled as you wiped the tears from your eyes. "I can't sleep. All I want to do is sleep and I just can't." You complained, tears rolling down your cheeks.

"Oh, I'm sorry, baby." Jungkook comfortingly said.

"You did this to me." You cried with a pout on your lips.

Jungkook quietly chuckled, "I know, I know. I'm sorry."

"I'm suffering while you're peacefully sleeping so don't laugh." You whined.

"If I-" Jungkook is cut off when he feels the baby kicks your stomach. You gasped as you looked down at your big stomach. "She's telling you to not be mad at me. If I'd had known you were still awake, I would've stayed up all night with you." Jungkook told you.

"I'm sorry, I'm just..." You try to find the right words.

"I know, baby. It's a lot." Jungkook said, understanding. "It'll all be worth it when our baby is here." He reminded you.

"It will." You agreed.

Jungkook then stayed up with you, doing everything in his ability to get you to fall asleep, and eventually, you did.

even though jungkook saying "it'll all be worth it" all the time was kind of annoying

it really was true

because once you birthed your baby

all of the hardships of the pregnancy were forgotten

and all you could think about was your baby

-- link to my masterlist

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bantansworld · 2 years

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Double Platinum || DadKNJ Part 1

➜ Summary: “ I'm just trying to look out for your best interest! Because what if you end up making a stupid mistake that'll cost you your whole career!"

" A stupid mistake? You mean like me? That is why you decided to leave me, right? Because I was a stupid mistake that could have costed you your whole career?"

➜ Pairing: Unspecified for now

➜ Genre: Daughter given up for adoption, Becoming an Idol, Harshness of the idol industry, Namjoon reconnecting with his daughter, journey to forgive, messy one sided beef with other group

Warnings: Adpotion, giving up child, Heartbreak, implied racism, strict dieting, controlling career, abusive manager, abuse, being singled out, harsh social media comments, depression, profanity, idol life, learning to forgive

➜ Word count: 3,836

-- { Namjoon's POV } --

" Are you serious? Ok ok. I'll be there as soon as I can. The meeting is almost over, just give me about 30 minutes. Ok. Alright. I'll see you soon babe." I said as I hung up the phone.

I sat back in the chair, running my hand over my face as a sigh escaped me. The stress was beginning to get to me, creeping up on me every time I start to let my guard down. Yet stress was something that I had to fight back against at this moment, I couldn't let it over take me at such a pivotal time in my life.

" Namjoon-ah." I heard Hoseok's voice mumble out next to me.

I raised my head slightly, peeking over at him.

" mmh?" I questioned.

" Are you alright? You look like something bad just happened." He asked me. I could see the worry in his eyes, and that was something that I didn't need at the moment. The only thing he should be worried about right now is if Bang PD-nim would sign us or not.

" Everything's fine Hoseok-ah. Don't worry." I reassured him.

" Put on your game face. Here they come." Yoongi hyung spoke up, making us look over and seeing the shadows of Bang PD-nim and his advisers walking back to the room through the frosted glass window.

I sat up straight in my seat, mentally wiping the stress from my face as the door open and the group of men walked in.

Hoseok, Yoongi-hyung, and I all stood up, bowing our respects to the men before we sat back down in our seats.

The men all sat around the table, with Bang PD-nim sitting at the head of the table holding a manilla folder that was stuffed with papers. " Alright, so let's get right to the point shall we?" He asked with a soft smile on his face.

The three of us nodded, waiting anxiously for the words he was about to say with baited breaths.

" I want to sign you as artists of Bighit." He started.

I was as stiff as a rock for a few seconds, then the breath that I had been holding was released as my heart had stopped is rapid pounding and started to slow to a normal speed. I swallowed my spit, wetting my dry throat as I could feel my eyes start to water just a bit.

" The three of you together are absolute gold. The music you write, the stories you tell, the messages you have, we love it. And we know that you'll catch attention with your words alone. Your words speak to people, and I know that you will resonate with the young people of today." Bang PD-nim said to us.

We all continued to listen to his words, not sure if we should all say anything at this point or not.

" I won't sit here and sugar coat anything with you. This journey that you three want to embark on isn't going to be a walk in the park. There will be many hardships and you may fall on hard times, but if you keep your ambitions and you work hard, I know that you will achieve greatness." He said, looking each one of us in our eyes as he spoke.

We all nodded once again.

" We have drafted up contracts for you all to sign. You can take them back to your homes, look it over and by the end of the week, have your decision made in weather you truly want to sign or not." He said to us as one of the men got up from his seat with the manilla folder and passed each of us a stack of papers.

" So do any of you have any questions for me?" Bang PD-nim asked us.

" No sir." Yoongi hyung spoke up.

Bang PD-nim nodded his head as he stood from his chair. " Then that will conclude our meeting. I will see you three back in this room Friday eight am sharp." He told us.

" Yes sir." We all said to him as we stood to our feet, bowing to the group of men once again.

They all then turned to make their way out of the room, the door closing with a soft click.

We waited a few seconds to make sure they were all walking away when we all collectively let out a breath of relief. Neither one of us said a word for a full minute.

I guess we all had to take a moment to think to ourselves, to really register the fact that Bang PD-nim said he wanted to sign us.

A smile gradually started to appear on my face. I could no longer try to hold my composure as my eyes started to sting from tears that sprung up in my eyes.

" Yoongi hyung. Hoseok-ah..." I muttered.

" Did he actually say-" Hoseok started.

" Yeah Hoseok, he did." Yoongi hyung answered him, not even needing him to finish his sentence.

We all went back to sitting in silence for another minute. Nothing but our heavy breathing was heard in the room. Then suddenly we all turned to finally look at each other.

I took a good look at my members face. Hoseok's wide smile that resembled a heart was the first thing I saw, followed by the tears that had started to fall down his cheeks. My eyes then moved over to Yoongi hyung, a rare smile graced his face, he had tried to move his eyes around so that the tears wouldn't be as noticeable, but the tears gathering in his eyes were undeniable.

" Guys... we're about to be signed to a company." I said to them.

" Yeah..." Yoongi hyung answers absentmindedly.

I raised my arm, wrapping it around Hoseok's shoulder, then reach over doing the same thing to Yoongi hyung, pulling them into a hug.

" We're really doing this. We're going after the dreams that we've all had for such a long time." I said to them in astonishment. " Yoongi hyung... Hoseok-ah... please promise me, that no matter what life tries to throw our way, we're gonna keep going, and we're gonna make it big." I asked them.

" I promise." Hoseok said immediately.

" I promise." Yoongi hyung said right after him.

" I promise too." I said as well. " We're gonna make it."

" Joon-ah, do you want to come and hang out with Yoongi hyung and I? We're gonna go shoot some hoops for a while, maybe go to the arcade later?" Hoseok asked me as we all waited at the bus stop.

" Umm not today guys, I promised my mom I would clean my room as soon as the meeting was done. And plus I'm a little overwhelmed from today, I'm probably just gonna catch up on some sleep." I told them as my phone buzzed in my pocket again.

I took my phone out of my pocket and saw a notification for a text that I had gotten. I read over it and my heart begin to pound in my chest again, but this time for different reasons.

" Joon-ah, our bus is here, we'll see you soon alright?" Yoongi hyung called out.

" Of course hyung." I replied to him.

They both waved their goodbyes and got onto their bus. I then turned my attention back down to my phone, rereading over the text.

Please hurry Joon. I don't wanna have this baby without you here with me.

I sent a quick text back, letting her know that I was on my way when I looked down the road and saw the bus heading this way.

When the bus stopped in front of me, I quickly pushed myself on to it, paying the bus fare then making my way to the very back of the bus to take my seat.

My mind was preoccupied with so many things right now, I didn't know what to think. The fact that I was gonna become a father scared the absolute shit out of me. No one knew, not my parents, not even Hoseok and Yoongi hyung.

I ran my hands over my face again.

" What am I gonna do..."

I ran through the hospital doors, right up to the front desk. " Umm excuse me. My girlfriend is in labor right now, could you tell me which room she's in please?" I asked the woman.

" What's her name?" She asked me with her brow raised.

" Umm, her name is Jayelle Robinson." I responded to her.

The woman was silently clicking away on her computer, her eyes squinting as she scanned the screen closely looking for the information I needed. " Mhm, she's gonna be in room 613, on the 6th floor." She told me.

I was about to make my way over to the elevator when the woman stopped me and handed me some items.

" She's in active labor so you're gonna have to suit up." She told me.

I nodded my head at the woman, bowing to her as I made my way over to the elevator, repeatedly clicking on the up button. My leg was shaking impatiently as I waited for the elevator to come down, and when it did, I moved out of the way for the people that were coming off, then quickly hopped on, rapidly pressing the button for the 6th floor.

I looked down at the stuff in my hands and quickly put the plastic blue scrubs over my clothes, along with the with the head wrap and the gloves. I had finished putting everything on as soon as the elevator dinged and opened its doors.

I quickly hopped off, and took off down the hallways, scanning each metal door plate, looking for room 613.

609, 610, 611, 612

" Here it is." I muttered to myself.

I put my hand up to knock on the door when my fist froze mid air. I couldn't help the hesitation that came over me. I was scared. I was so scared.

" You're scared? Yeah well what about Jayelle who's in their giving birth to your child alone." A voice deep inside of my mind said to me.

I sighed to myself. I knew the voice was right, but that didn't take away any of the fear and anxiety that I was feeling right now. I took in a deep breath and released it.

I raised my hand and knocked before I opened the door, stepppjng inside and seeing many doctors surrounding Jayelle.

" Sir, you can't be in here-"

Her words were cut off by Jayelle's yell.

" Joon! Namjoon you're here!" She yelled, reaching out for me as tears were sliding down her face. " He's the father! He's ok! He's the father!" She told them.

The doctors moved out of the way and let me through. I quickly went over to her, grabbing her hand into mine.

" Joonie." She cried out. " It hurts so much." She said to me as she sobbed.

I leaned down to peck her lips before I placed my forehead on hers. " Babe I'm so sorry." I said to her, trying to calm her down. " I'm sorry your hurting and I can't do anything to make you feel better. Just- just think about our beautiful baby that's about to come into this world. Our beautiful baby girl." I said to her, stroking her hair and moving the stray curls that fell in front of her face.

" Miss. The baby is almost here. We can see her head, we just need you to give us a few more pushes." One of the nurses said to Jayelle.

" I'm so tired Joon. It hurts so much." She cried out.

" I know baby. I'm sorry." I told her, raising my hand to hold her cheek and wipe her tears away with my thumb. " Just try be strong babe and let's welcome our daughter into the world."

Jayelle was about to respond but grunted out in pain, clutching my hand in hers.

" Push miss. Push!" The nurse told her.

" Push baby. You got this, you can do it." I told her.

She squeezed my hand in hers, and begin pushing as hard as she could, holding her breath as she continued to push.

" She's almost here, at your next contraction, just give me one more big push." The doctor said.

And when that contraction hit, she squeezed my hand again and pushed.

Her teeth were bared and a vein popped up in her forehead as she continued to push, when suddenly she let out loud groan.

The doctor and nurses went rushing about and that's when I heard it. A loud shrieking cry that carried throughout the room.

" Dad, do you want to do the honors of cutting the cord.

I was shocked when I was being addressed. I was hesitant to leave Jayelle's side but I did. I went over to the nurse who held the tool out to me. I took the tool from her hand and put it to the umbilical cord.

" Wait. Can- can you record this for me please?" I asked somebody as I took my phone from my pocket and went to the camera app.

One of the nurses took it from my hand and started recording. I put the tool back over to the umbilical cord and cut it. The nurse handed me back my phone, taking the tool from me as one of the other nurses begin cleaning our baby from all the blood and fluids that covered her.

I made my way back over to Jayelle, leaning down to peck her lips again. " You were so strong baby. I'm so proud of you. I'm so so proud of you for bringing our daughter into this world." I told her.

" I'm so tired Joon." She responded to me. " So so tired. I just wanna sleep for a little bit." She said as her eye begin closing.

I was inclined to letting her get her sleep, I understand that she must have been exhausted from giving birth, but as soon as she begin to close her eyes, the monitor that was next to her bed started to flatline.

I was so confused as I looked down at her. My heart was beating a mile a minute.

" Jayelle? Baby?" I called out to her, shaking her shoulder.

She didn't answer back to me, and as I shook her, her body went limp.

My eyes watered instantly. " Jayelle! Somebody help! Jayelle wake up!" I cried out.

The nurses came rushing over to Jayelle and I, pushing me out of the way.

Everything around me felt as if it suddenly started going in slow motion around me. I couldn't hear anything. It was like I was on the set of some type of soap opera or a drama show, but it wasn't. No matter how much I wished it was.....

It wasn't...

I sat in the hospital room, looking down at the tiny baby that had my finger clutched in her small fist as she drunk from her bottle.

She turned her beautiful gaze up to mine, looking up at me, and my heart clenched in my chest. Her features were so reminiscent of her mother.

I had to choke back a sob as I looked down at her.

" I'm so sorry. Things weren't supposed to be like this baby girl. Your mommy was supposed to be here with us. She wasn't supposed to leave us like this." I said to her as tears fell from my eyes. " I'm so sorry and I hope one day when you're older you'll forgive me baby girl." I said to her, my heart clenching my chest even tighter.

I cut myself off when the doorknob had turned and begin to open. I looked over to the door, not bothering to wipe any tears or snot away from my face.

Three people walked over to me, two women and a man. They all had sympathetic smiles on their faces as they looked at me.

" Namjoon-shi." The woman who stood in front of the couple called out to me. " Are you ready?" She asked me.

That question alone cause another sob to escape my mouth. I turned my eyes down to my daughter who still had her tiny gaze on me and my heart squeezed again.

I didn't want to let her go. I didn't want to give her up. I wanted to keep her and raise her myself, but I knew that I couldn't.

I would rather her be with a loving couple who could give her the proper upbringing. Her having two parent in her life to give her all the love she could want.

I know this is selfish of me, and deep down, I know that another part of why I couldn't keep her is because.... because with me trying to pursue my dreams, I knew that I wasn't gonna be able to be there for her. Signing that contract with Bighit, it wouldn't allow me to look after a newborn child by myself. My parents didn't know about her, my members didn't know, and Bighit definitely didn't know.

I know how this would look as an outsider looking in. I completely understand how selfish this is of me to give up my daughter after just loosing my girlfriend during childbirth a few days ago, all in the name of chasing my dreams. I feel so disgusted with myself as I stare down into the eyes of my baby girl who's looking up at me like I'm the only thing in the world that matters to her, knowing what I was about to do.

I let out another sob as I removed the bottle from her mouth, putting her over my shoulder to burp her. " My babygirl." I sobbed out as tears continued to fall.

" Namjoon-shi." The caseworker called out again.

I turned my teary gaze over to her as I kept patting my daughters back until I heard her let out a loud burp.

" Are you ready?" She asked me softly.

I moved my daughter from over my shoulder and cradled her in my arms. I looked down at her and she looked up at me. " I'm so so sorry baby girl. Please forgive me. Please." I said as I lifted her and kissed her forehead.

I looked up at the three adults in the room. " Can- can I get a picture with her please?" I asked them.

" Of course you can." The caseworker said to me.

I held my daughter in one arm and carefully moved my other arm down to my pocket to get my phone out. I went over to the camera app and handed the woman the phone.

She held the phone up, and I brought my daughter up to my chest and turned her so that he face was facing the camera and smiled a watery smile.

" Thank you." I muttered out as I took my phone back and put it back into my pocket.

My gaze then fell back onto my daughter, I lifted her one more time and gave her a lingering kiss on her forehead. " I love you so much. Please forgive me. I love you with all my heart baby girl." I said to her.

I took a deep breath and released it, walking over to the couple. I gulped as I held my arms out, transferring my daughter from my arms, to the woman's. My baby started wriggling around in my arms, her little mouth pouting up before it begin to quiver. Her loud cries could be heard echoing across the room.

The couple smiled down at my daughter with loving smiles. The woman begin to coo at her and rock her which calmed her down a bit. My heart lurched again. I felt sick to my stomach.

" Thank you. Thank you so much Namjoon-shi. You have no idea how much this means to me. How much you just changed our lives for the better. We will be eternally grateful to you for this blessing in our lives." The woman said to me.

" If there is anything you want us to tell her about you or her mother when she gets older, we'll make sure to tell her when she's old enough. Or if you have anything you want to give her." The man said to me.

His words ran through my mind, then I looked up at him. " Ju-just let her know that I'm sorry, and that I hope one day in her heart that she can forgive me. Let her know that her mother and I loved her with every part of our being and that, that we wished things hadn't turned out this way, but we know that you guys are gonna give her all the love that she deserves." I told him.

The man nodded his head at me.

I took the necklace from around my neck off, looking at it for a second. Jayelle and I had gotten these necklaces made when we found out that she was pregnant. I had gotten the pendant from the necklace that was on Jayelle's necklace and put them together on mine, and now I was about to give it to our daughter.

" I know- I know that you probably wanna name her yourselves, but-"

" No it's alright. Any suggestion you have, we'll take it." The woman said to me, her smile was genuine as she waited patiently for my answer.

" Her mother wanted to name her Jaelah. If you take that into consideration, I would really appreciate it." I said, bowing to the couple.

" Jaelah. It's a lovely name." The woman said, looking down at my daughter.

I stood there not knowing what else to say. All I wanted to do was just go home and cry.

" Well... Namjoon-shi. We just want to thank you again. You gave this blessing to us just when we were about to give up. We are internally grateful." The man said as they both bowed to me.

I bowed back again as they both turned to leave the room.

My hand came up to my chest and clenched where my heart would be. My eyes watered all over again.

" Namjoon-shi. You did the right thing. Taking care of a child at such a young age, especially by yourself would have been so taxing on you. I'm glad you thought about your child's best interest and gave her up to-

I couldn't even let her finish what she was gonna say before I turned and ran out of the room. The couple was waiting outside of the door for the caseworker, but I kept running, if I stopped and looked back at my baby, I would take her back.

I couldn't do that.

So I kept running.

And that was the last time I had ever seen my baby girl.

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my-ao3-library · 2 years

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a sugar coated pill and a pick me up

As Namjoon stood slightly removed from the scene, bemusedly watching the six-year-olds swarm around his cooler (which he had borrowed from his mom), he didn’t even notice that someone had sidled up next to him until he heard the tiny, but undoubtedly exasperated, huff.

He followed the sound, turning his head to the right. A guy was standing there, arms crossed, lips pursed. He let out another huff, louder this time, but only slightly.

Namjoon refused to acknowledge him. What the fuck was this guy’s deal? Was he really that bitter that his six-year-old just lost a soccer game for six-year-olds?

One more huff from the guy.

He was beginning to think this guy’s lips were just perpetually pursed and would simply never, ever unpurse themselves, when he, the guy, finally unpursed his lips to speak.

“I just think it’s pretty irresponsible to bring Gatorade to a soccer game for first graders,” he said, huffily, “No offense.”

(or: namjin are soccer dads who fall in luv)

2 chapters; 25,023 words.

#namjin #hate to love #single parents au #single dad namjoon #single dad seokjin

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honey-boyyoongi · 2 years

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Idk if I have enough readers for this, but if any of y’all have questions or thoughts about any of my AUs, let me know. I’d love to hear about it then.

#bts #bts imagines #bts fics #yoongi #bts social media au #bts non idol au #bts fluff #bts fanfic #bangtan #jungkook #bts x reader #taehyung #bts single dad au #bangtan social media au #bangtan fluff #bts angst #namjoon

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aft3rhrs · 7 months

Text

— cherry ღ

pairing: namjoon x reader

genre: forbidden romance, step!father au

warnings: yandere, cheating, manipulation, corruption, pseudo incest, age gap, virgin!reader, she's quite innocent (but please always assume 18+!), inappropriate inspections ahshdhdhd, cockwarming, daddy kink, praise kink, ridiculous amounts of "good girl", mentions of masturbation, dirty talk, a sprinkle of breeding kink ooops

Namjoon was just... committed. It was his job as your father to look after your heart; and everything else that came with it.

"Show me, baby," he whispered, soft lips brushing your ear. "It's okay."

It sounded so simple. Yet the words were followed by the tip of his big, hard cock pushing into you, hot breaths fanning your neck.

Tight.

You were so tight and sensitive; so inexperienced. Ever since Namjoon found out you were untouched, the thought haunted his each waking moment; and in his dreams, a fear followed, creeping up his bones, infecting all cells until his body felt sick.

What if someone else got to touch you first?

Not a soul, dead or alive deserved that. He's seen you cry over your crushes and eventually exes, seen you open up like a flower, then wither away to nothing. Boys your age were just that; boys. They didn't know how to take care of themselves, let alone of you. They were fickle leafs fluttering in the wind, and Namjoon was a rock; always there for you to lean on, the foundation of the very ground he helped you learn to walk on.

So wasn't it only natural he'd be concerned who gets to put their hands on you? Wasn't it only natural he loved you so much all other women paled beside you?

Everything between you had to remain a secret, of course, but there was nothing wrong with that — because Namjoon was your dad, and he knew best. Besides, you weren't blood related, either, and that seemed like a perfectly valid explanation for why he could do things no real dad should. It seemed reasonable when he'd come into your room and lock the door, hands sneaking under your shirt to wake you up, holding you close.

You've never really had a father before him. You didn't know what that kind of bond was supposed to look like, though you certainly longed for it. Your mother had a few boyfriends, fleeting relationships that quickly took away your childish hope of ever being the jewel in someone's crown.

And then he came along and changed everything.

That was how you found yourself here, back pressed into his chest under the weight of soft blankets. The only problem was that simple, routine inspections were not enough anymore; it was not enough to feel you wrapped around his fingers night after night. He just had to be sure no one else took what was his. Had to feel your pretty, virgin cunt struggle to take all of him, mark it with his shape.

He kissed your shoulder, stroking your hand with his thumb in mindless circles.

"Good girl."

Sleepy, and getting quite used to having him inside you, you tried to keep your eyes closed, not react to his words. But you felt yourself clench around his girth, and you knew he felt it too, from the way he moaned into your neck.

"Sorry," you whispered shakily, a wave of heat crawling up your spine.

Namjoon hugged you tighter, the scent of his cologne soothing your senses.

"What are you sorry for, baby?" He asked softly. "Feels nice... to be close. Doesn't it?"

You nodded slowly. Namjoon graced your shoulder with another sweet peck, his lips so warm on your skin.

"Nothing wrong with that, hm?"

He always said that. You couldn't help but feel conflicted; having him like this was so intimate and comforting. But on the other hand, it left you addicted to the feeling, desperate for things you knew you shouldn't really want. It didn't help how often he reassured you; tempted you with promises that if you ever needed more, all you had to do was ask. It was completely normal for your cute, little hole to clench around daddy's cock like that, after all; it was where he belonged, and your body knew it, too.

He kept kissing your face, like all he wanted was for you to know that just as you belonged to him, he always belonged to you. Nothing else mattered. Your tummy twisted when you felt his cock twitch inside you, and you attempted to swallow the lump building in your throat, willed your thighs to stay still.

"My good girl," he breathed, "only daddy's. Right?"

You nodded, too scared to open your mouth and make a sound. You had no idea what would come out if you tried.

Namjoon could read you like an open book, even with his eyes closed — all the more when he was buried so deep inside you. His large palm slid down to your stomach, settling under the cotton of your oversized shirt. The pads of his fingers brushed the swell of your breasts, knocking your heart out of its steady rhythm.

"You're so wet. Is that only for me too?"

You pushed yourself to nod again, only this time that wasn't satisfying enough either. He skimmed the underside of your breast, opening his hand slowly enough to make your head spin. Your pussy clenched, gushing arousal, tummy churning as he finally gripped the soft flesh.

"Say, 'yes, daddy'."

You stifled a whimper, your voice barely rising above a whisper.

"Yes, daddy."

Another twitch inside you. You forced yourself to remain still and quiet, though Namjoon seemed too lost in you to notice your efforts, too focused on the throbbing of his cock. He squeezed your breast, his palm resting right above your pounding heart.

"And you're daddy's girl. No one else is ever gonna see you or touch you like this, no one else ever has. Right?"

A soft whine fled your lips. It was embarrassing to submit yourself like this, so openly and willingly. Yet the craving for his approval, his love and his touch was stronger than any shame, bringing you to nod some more, your eyes falling shut.

"Yes, daddy."

The bridge of his nose brushed against your neck tenderly, while his cock kept twitching.

"Good girl."

These words always instantly went to your head - and cunt. You wanted to keep being good for him, to reach for all the things he oh so kindly gave you permission to take. It was like he was just waiting for you to break until you had no scruples about the taboo of the situation. Because Namjoon himself was shameless, especially when it came to the things he wanted.

And all he wanted was you.

At last, he settled a warm hand on your hip to slip out of you. You could feel the way your pussy protested, reluctant to let him go, aching pathetically and dribbling out slick.

It was hard to breathe.

Namjoon himself was anything but happy knowing he was going to have to go back to bed frustrated again. It was probably a mixture of that, and his heart stirring at the pitiful sound you made, that broke some of his resolve. He still wanted you to listen to him like the angel he knew you were, wanted to hear you ask him to touch you, to defile you. But he simply leaned over you, giving his stiff cock a squeeze. And then he left another kiss on your cheek, the next words coming out hushed.

"I know it hurts, baby... It hurts me too. How about daddy helps you tomorrow? Would that make it go away? Hm? Would your little pussy feel better if I rubbed it for you? Just a small, tiny massage, and then it won't hurt so bad anymore."

You were starting to feel light headed, your lungs heavy, cunt pulsing in response to his suggestion. How sweetly he talked to you, like a dad just taking care of his daughter, made it sound filthier, made your body burn. You opened your mouth to respond — slowly reaching out — little girl finally about to take the hand that has been waiting so patiently for her to grasp it from the darkness of her closet.

"Please, daddy," you uttered quietly, heart beating out of your chest.

Namjoon gave his cock another squeeze, precum dripping down the thick shaft. He needed to get off, but he'd get through one more night of this torture. So that tomorrow, after all this time, he could finally release all the tension while he felt you quiver on his dick. He'd give you months worth of cum, breed you so nice and full; and that's before he'd even get to fuck you. He tried to keep his composure, gave your pretty face more kisses as he tucked himself back into his boxers.

"Good girl. I love you."

You rubbed your thighs together as soon as you felt him sit up, ready to make his way back to your mother.

"I love you too," you sighed, unable to think straight anymore.

He blew out your candle, then looked down at you, affectionately stroking your hair.

"I know. Sweet dreams, baby."

Maybe he could see into the deepest, darkest corners of your mind; or maybe it was just a precaution. Either way, as much as he loved spoiling you, what kind of father didn't discipline their precious child when needed?

"Don't," he warned softly, ghosting his lips over your temple, "even think about touching yourself tonight. Daddy's gonna help you tomorrow, as much as you want. Be good and wait for me, or I'll get mad. You don't want that, do you, angel?"

A wave of chills flooded your skin. Finding no courage to look up into his eyes, you nodded again, hugging your pillow tighter.

"Good girl."

Hot all over, you watched him close the door and turned, immediately met with his scent lingering on the sheets. How were you supposed to fall asleep now?

At least you weren't alone. Namjoon was asking himself the same question, but he's been patient for so long already. He's waited, and waited, the scent of cherries lingering in the air around him, craving to bite into the sweet fruit, satiate his hunger. The wait would be worth it, he knew. And oh, he'd make sure to make it worth your while, too. All good girls deserved rewards. Especially from their dads.

#yandere bts #namjoon x reader #bts x reader #bts smut #bts imagines #bts scenarios #bts reactions #bts yandere #namjoon smut

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jiminrings · 19 days

Text

fail-safe (3)

pairing: yoongi x reader

wordcount: 14k

glimpse: you hear everything you've ever wanted, but you don't know if it's too late.

alternatively, yoongi is consumingly yours all the time.

[ part one, intermission, part two, intermission 02, finale ]

[ still angst (but u can breathe now bc it’s the finale), brother’s best friend AND single dad au, jealousy, yearning from all angles, did i say angst alr (mom-wise and brother-wise), fluff, redemption ]

notes: this is it for the chronological series of fail-safe :-) from the bottom of my heart thank you so sooooo much for reading n loving!!! sharing fs with the lot of u is an experience (and era) i'll never forget!!!

as always, lmk what you think <3 send in feedback n love to my askbox anytime!! | series masterlist

Your trip back home isn’t as rough as you expected it to be.

Somehow, there’s a huge difference between coming home alone and coming home with Jungkook. There’s an irreplaceable weight in your chest that still flares even at the mention of Yoongi, the anger you have towards him mixing with the trepidation of holding everything in you, not just him, for another three days. There’s an angry rash around your fingertips just waiting for you to pick on your nails until they’re raw because atleast in that way, you get to forget the way Yoongi’s hand picked up yours in the dark.

There’s an ache in you that not even Yoongi and Hyewon could undo by never having met in the first place. It’s long been there, perhaps even older than Haneul. The ache of unfulfillment in you is bred by everything significant in your life — all from your first argument with your mom because of your lack of direction in life, to your latest heartbreak that keeps manifesting into your first ever.

You're no longer angry recounting the fact that you weren't destined for greatness. Namjoon turned out beyond great, world-renowned even, despite living in the same home that you did. Maybe it's not your environment or your lack of a passion that hindered you — maybe, it's just you alone.

Maybe, some part of you had ached too much from reaching (read: loving) too far up, you're doomed to live the rest of your life unfulfilled. Yoongi's never been yours, but the way your heart withdraws from him is as if he's always been.

You've done your share. You've completed your fill. You've worked yourself to the bone to make anything (not something, and certainly not everything) out of yourself that even if you're not decorated in sports like Namjoon nor celebrated in music like Yoongi, you have a fail-safe to fall back on.

You're earning more than the white collars you could recognize from your old yearbook and even if it's to look after someone, to look after Jungkook and his craft, and neither use your actual degree nor make a name out of yourself — a part of you feels fulfilled.

If being fulfilled meant being in the shadows as a manager; if it meant caring for someone in a professional context yet in a way you've always known with practice, with love, through the years– you'll take it.

You'll take the peace of being fulfilled without a trophy than to be listless trying to compete for first place.

You're fulfilled now to be sitting at the passenger seat of your own car because despite having never been to your place anymore, Jungkook fought with you in order to get his hands on the wheel.

You're fulfilled now, even if you only took Jungkook's silly suggestion (read: insistence) of fake-dating him just so you wouldn't have to face your family and Yoongi alone. You're fulfilled despite having no real place in neither men's lives.

Oddly enough, Jungkook wants to be both. He wants to be fulfilled and compete for first place in a position in your life that he can't even say to your face.

Jungkook holds you right in the middle of the living room, his eyes wide and grin sparkling as if the director had already said action! and the task for him was to act out what being in love looked like, right in front of his female lead's family in her childhood home. (Read: he isn't acting at all.)

“And he’s…?” your mom lets the question hang in the air, eyes trailing from Jungkook’s face, to his bicep, to how his forearm fits snugly against your back and his hand curls around your waist. Your mom visibly looks surprised, although you don’t know if it’s about the fact that you actually came back despite everything, or if it’s because her favorite actor is in her kitchen while she’s sweaty in an apron, or if it’s because said favorite actor leaves no space between the two of you.

“Jeon Jungkook, ma’am. It’s nice to finally meet you,” he greets politely, a little jittery now that he’s face-to-face with her. He’s only heard of the woman she is from you and as much as he tried to picture her from memory, your stories don’t do her much justice. Jungkook’s always loved your kind eyes and your sweet smile, but he knows now where you’ve got it from; in fact, if he turns around right now right after shaking her hand and bowing profusely, you’re showing exactly those to him — that, along with a pair of gazes he can’t place.

Those gazes aren’t kind at all. One is confused and dumbfounded, and the other harbors nothing but hostility and anger.

“Sweetheart, I know you. Who doesn’t?” your mom’s at a loss for breath, mouth still agape as she keeps flickering her eyes between the two of you. She knows that you’re his manager, but what she doesn’t know is why the Jeon Jungkook is in her humble kitchen of all places. He has the most expressive and sincere eyes ever — he can’t possibly mistake your childhood home as a filming set and your waist as a hand rest.

You finally placate her thoughts when you speak, the loaded silence between the three of you (it’s buzzing with tension if you account for the other two) breaking. You actually giggle, your laughter taking the load off her shoulders because you’re happy; you don’t feel an ounce of guilt even if you’re lying to her face.

“We’re dating, mom,” you grin. “Jungkook’s my boyfriend.”

Jungkook smiles automatically, feeling your hand snake towards his own. His palm’s much bigger than yours yet it’s warmer than you’ve ever imagined, the envelope both of your hands make putting you at ease.

Your mom’s gasp bounces across the walls. Namjoon’s head that’s only been lowered the entire time you’ve been back suddenly whips to look at you and Jungkook. The fridge even lowers its hum to make way for the theatrics aimed at you, yet your eyes are fixed on your mom’s and Jungkook’s alone.

You came home for her and with him. You’re not here for anyone nor anything else because it’s merely a play for your survival, only this time, Jungkook’s hellbent on increasing your odds.

Yoongi freezes evidently, hand tightening around Haneul’s bottle as if it would do anything to release the red from his vision. He staggers silently, breathing suddenly ragged as he stares down at the offending steel cylinder. It’s small. Compact. If anything, he figures it would hurt if he were to throw it at anything. Anyone. Someone, even.

“Wow, that’s.. that’s amazing!” she embraces the both of you, making you and Jungkook share a gaze you only laugh through because he actually looks honored.

“Thank you, ma’am. I’m sorry I haven’t had the time to let you know personally,” he apologizes meekly for a mistake that isn’t even one in the first place, the humility in his tone making your ears perk. It’s Jungkook onceagain with the apologies towards you that he shouldn’t be making at all, and yet, even in front of your family, he persists.

Jungkook apologizes even for the things he hasn’t done, not because he plans on doing them, but because a large part of him wants to be in the actual situation wherein those mistakes were merely possibilities.

“It’s no problem at all. You’re busy getting all these awards, I know how that’s like,” she jokes, unable to stop smiling. “I’m just glad someone’s taking care of my baby.”

“And I don’t plan on missing a single day, ma’am.”

“Stop that,” she chides, shaking her head eagerly. “You can call me mom.”

Yoongi lets the bottle clatter to the sink.

( ♡ )

Yoongi hadn’t been able to sleep last night.

He’d woken up in a cold sweat hours before his alarm was supposed to go off to cook dinner for everyone, even if it was only yourfavorite. The anxiousness that bubbled in his veins when he was asleep was going to burst and while Yoongi thought nothing of it initially, he realizes in panic that it was actually pointing to something.

He woke up next to Haneul and he was placated momentarily, but the knot tied around his heart tightens twofold when he sees Hyewon on the same bed.

On your bed.

The guilt that filled Yoongi then was enough for the bile to creep up into his throat, making him stagger outside to find Namjoon pacing right outside of his own bedroom. His personal phone’s tucked in between his ear and his shoulder, his hands preoccupied scrolling through whatever it is on his work phone. Yoongi momentarily stops his panic to inquire why the hell Namjoon’s panicking and why did he just see a glimpse of your social media accounts pulled up to the screen, your following list staring your brother in the eyes.

“What? What happened? Is it Y/N?”

Namjoon only looked at him with nothing but pity and guilt, the resentment he had for himself bleeding through the way he shifted his gaze to him.

“She saw you and Hyewon.”

Yoongi hadn’t been able to sleep since.

He didn’t even blink when Hyewon thanked him and said her goodbyes. He wasn’t even fazed when his ex-wife kissed Haneul goodbye and his son only resumed playing with his blocks. Yoongi hadn’t even tended to himself throughout the entire night, surrendering himself to be awake in your couch in the far event that you’d come home.

Yoongi wanted to follow you home, except almost exactly similar to the past, he had chased you out of what’s supposed to be your own home in the first place. The difference now was that he didn’t mean for Hyewon to be on your bed at all, let alone your room, but in the back of Yoongi’s thick skull — he figures that it won’t be enough for you.

Yoongi waits for you all night throughout the morning like a loyal dog waiting for its master, his chest rising up and down in hope yet his chin down in despondence. You do end up coming back home though, but your presence is neither unaccompanied nor for him.

With you is Jeon Jungkook, your boyfriend.

If only Haneul hadn’t asked for his bottle to be brought upstairs because he’s watching cartoons on Yoongi’s laptop, he would’ve collapsed on the floor then and there, uncaring of the way everyone else would be looking down on him.

If only Namjoon’s gaze wasn’t flitting to him to gauge his reaction because it’s the first time he’s, or by everyone else rather, hearing that you have a boyfriend, Yoongi would put his hands on his head and curse until his piercing migraine suddenly disappears.

If only your mother wasn’t here, frozen in the kitchen mostly because of what you just revealed and who you came home with, and partly because she’s waiting for him to finish washing Haneul’s bottle, he would’ve thrown up right in the sink.

Yoongi gathers all his pain and keeps it shut within himself until he gets you alone, catching you by the staircase when everyone else has dispersed.

“I’m sorry. Namjoon told me what you saw and-…” he stops himself when you look up at him with an innocent yet empty gaze, the weight of it (or lack thereof) startling him. “Let me explain why Hyewon was there in your bed.”

“I don’t want to listen,” you enunciate clearly, keeping your voice down because both Jungkook and Haneul are a few steps away. You do it for their sake and not for Yoongi’s, the bitterness in your chest physically restricting you to think about his state.

Yoongi pushes on, breath already catching in his throat when you’re still stiff as a stone. You haven’t even made a break for it yet; he only unconsciously held onto you out of fear that you’ll be out of his sight. “She was in the area because her parents are old and they don’t know much about selling their house here a-and well, she knows that I did the same for my parents when they sold ours. Nothing happened. I just helped her with the sale! S-she was playing with Haneul in the living room while I napped a-and, I just… when I woke up, they were right next to me. Y/N, I swear, nothing-…”

You shake your head fervently, the innocence of his reason doing little to break the seal in your stomach. You feel it dropping once again and even if Yoongi’s right, even if he’s saying the truth, the sight alone of him appearing to be a part of a happy family jogs up all the pain.

“I don’t want to listen and you don’t have to explain either.”

“But I hurt you. That’s why I want to explain,” he stutters. Yoongi’s eyes are so glassy, you could see your reflection in them.

“Oh. So you know,” you whisper, teeth harshly digging into your bottom lip. “I hate Hyewon for a lot of things but not for being the mother of your child. That’s out of my reach. I get it. She’s his mom and that’s that,” you admit, the vacancy in your chest and on your ring finger reminding you what Yoongi had never given you the chance for. “What I hate is that you let her sleep in my room. Seeing Haneul in there is good. You and him? That’s okay because I let you sleep in there,” you heave, voice close to breaking because of how you force it to be tamped down. “I hate how you let her sleep in my room, Yoongi. I-I, I fucking hate it because it’s just like that time I caught you practically fucking her in my room.”

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t-…” Yoongi sniffles, tears already pouring. The staircase in your house is far too narrow to hold the both of you, let alone your history. “I didn’t think. I didn’t notice, a-and, I didn’t think. I didn’t think at all, Y/N. I thought it was okay for a split second because we looked like-…”

“A family,” you finish for him. “I get it. I do,” you nod your head fervently, your own hand snaking to your lips to stop the sharp inhale that pains you from the inside. “Almost everyone loses their sense of reason when it comes to family.”

“I didn’t notice she already entered the room. But I-I woke up,” Yoongi still swears up and down, adamant on his truth that you aren’t open to entertaining because he’s hurt you far too many times before. “Hyewon and I… we’re not. We’re co-parenting.”

“Still a family.”

“But-…”

“What the hell do you want to hear from me, Yoongi?” you snap, voice finally toning down when you notice faint footsteps coming from the second floor. “Do you— do you want me to agree with you and say that the three of you aren’t a family? And for what, s-so that could somehow excuse you for everything you’ve done? I don’t even know what family’s supposed to mean at this point!”

From upstairs, Namjoon suppresses a sob.

“My mom doesn’t know a single thing about all of this. I-I can’t even cry to her because I’m thinking of you. I’m thinking of protecting you, your son that she looks to as a grandson, a-and even your mom who’s her best friend,” you break into tears, ignoring the baby towel that Yoongi keeps on his person all the time that he offers to you. You sound far too defeated, and maybe you actually are, that Yoongi lets you push past him. “Meanwhile, my own brother probably knows everything but his first instinct is to protect you. Not me, his actual sibling. You.”

Namjoon had been waiting for you upstairs. He’s been barricading the door to the bathroom because he knows you can’t go to bed without your nightly shower, and because he knows that out of every space in the house, it must be the only one left wherein you can be truly alone with no hint of Yoongi.

“We have to talk,” he gets out as soon as you make eye contact with him, the towel that’s slung on your shoulder almost falling at the urgency to which he pulls you aside.

“It can wait.”

“I need to apologize,” he pleads once again, gripping your wrist gently like he had always done when you were kids to get you to listen to him.

“And I said it can wait. I can’t stand you right now,” you grit, the tears on your cheeks barely being dried up when Namjoon, unsurprisingly, decides to apologize to you within the same timeframe as Yoongi. They hadn’t planned it at all — the guilt and remorse weighed far too heavy for them to actually communicate.

“Where will you sleep?” he asks instead, exhaling heavily because you’re insistent on not crying again in barely your first night back, again. “Where will Jungkook sleep?”

“We’ll sleep together in a hotel.”

“Hotel?” Namjoon asks loudly, eyes bulging in shock. His voice is far too loud that everyone in the house (and maybe even your neighbors) must have heard him. “That’s nonsense. This is home, Y/N. You don’t have to book a hotel.”

“It is?” you seethe, your closed fists tightening on themselves painfully. “Did you also say the same thing to Hyewon? To Yoongi in the first place?”

“It’s my fault for-…”

You’re unaware that you and Namjoon are neck to neck until your mom chimes in out of nowhere, her gentle eyes asking more questions than she’s actually uttering. “What’s going on?” she switches her gaze between you and him. “Are the two of you fighting?”

“No,” you answer in unison, unable to fit a relieved sigh in between the terse silence.

“It’s nothing, mom,” Namjoon puts a hand on your shoulder, his smile tight and tense. “I was just telling Y/N that she doesn’t have to book a hotel.”

“Why would you book a hotel?” she gasps incredulously, her tone being the exact copy of Namjoon’s just a second ago.

“It’s just crowded in here, mom. That’s all,” you muster a sheepish smile, your posture slouching the more you realize that there’s no way out.

“I can ask Yoongi and Haneul to transfer to Namjoon’s so you can-..”

“No-!” you interrupt her in a hurry, breath hitching at the mention of him. “No, no. That’s unnecessary. I don’t want to sleep in my room.”

There’s a loaded pause between all of you, even between the door that Yoongi has his back on as he listens in.

“You and Jungkook can take my room instead,” Namjoon insists, his offer only barely scratching the surface of the apology that you truly deserve.

“Great. Thanks,” you conclude, already halfway into the bathroom when the sudden thought strikes you, your curiosity (and limit, by extension) getting the best of you to ask Namjoon while your mom’s still here. “How… how much longer are they gonna stay here?”

“I… haven’t asked yet,” Namjoon admits, the animosity you have towards Yoongi not going unnoticed by your mother.

“You need to ask then,” you quip. “This house is too small to have everyone and anyone.”

( ♡ )

Jungkook woke up in peace from sleeping in a bed that isn’t his.

Even before you actually got to shower (and not just sit on the toilet seat whilst trying to compose yourself) since you forgot to retrieve your clothes from your suitcase, Jungkook was already starfished in the middle of Namjoon’s bed. It’s a touching sight atop your own blanket and bug spray that your brother put in for you.

The two of you are far from okay. As a matter of fact, the only people you’re truly okay with in the house is your mom and Haneul; despite knowing that fully, Jungkook still dived in head-first in the middle of your situation. You’ve tried to dissuade him all throughout the five-hour long car ride, and not once did he even budge.

He’s here for you and no one else. He’s snoring in the middle of your sibling’s bed whom you aren’t in good terms with. He’s at ease with you in a province that he’s never stepped foot in, all because he felt compelled to protect you somehow and wouldn’t take no for an answer.

Jungkook cares for you, enough to write a note and place it beside him just before he went to sleep, telling you that he’s a messy sleeper and to either jolt him awake to move or just manhandle him to the side so you could also sleep on the bed.

You go for the latter, trying to pry him as gently as you could (but even if you just hauled him like a sack of potatoes, he still wouldn’t wake up because he’s at ease too much; it’s you, of course) before finally calling it a night.

You may have lied awake mulling over the perpetual ache in your chest, but you didn’t cry at all.

Eventually, you fall asleep to the sound of Jungkook snoring.

Jungkook may have slept earlier than you, but he makes sure that you stay in late. (read: he physically tucked you into bed so snugly, you probably can’t even shift your shoulders by a centimeter). He wants to pull his weight around a house he hasn’t even been in, even if you hadn’t asked him to — you’d never do, because even as a manager and not as a fake-girlfriend, you don’t let him lift a single finger. Simply put, Jungkook feels this massive pull, not to perform for you, but serve you.

He finds himself quietly going down the stairs, still in his socks because you had stolen his house slippers just last night and he doesn’t have the heart to ask you to give them back. He’s quickly figured out the kitchen, getting a soup started before he allows himself to sit on the dining table by himself.

It turns out that Jungkook’s not alone at all.

“Hi.”

His ears perk at the soft voice that comes from the side of him, eyes immediately setting on the toddler who’s still dressed in his pajamas and has a similar case of bedhead to him.

“Hey buddy. Nice bangs,” Jungkook chuckles invitingly, pulling out a chair for Haneul to which he gets up on easily by himself.

“My appa cut them for me,” he answers with a smile, shyly pointing to Jungkook’s forehead with an eager finger. “You have bangs too. Who cut yours?”

“My girlfriend. I think she can be a hairstylist one day,” he hums, not feeling guilty over lying to him when it’s only a half, easily-corrected lie. You may not be Jungkook’s actual, real girlfriend, but you did cut his bangs when he asked you to. He couldn’t be bothered going to the salon and you didn’t have the energy to argue with him otherwise, so that’s how he ended up with choppy, viral (it only became viral because he has them) bangs that gained him a few dozen articles or so.

Jungkook doesn’t have kids of his own, but what he does have are several nephews and nieces. He’s the youngest of four children, and that’s perhaps the reason why he could empathize with you. He’s never been through what you have, and although you would never wish for him to do so, a part of him wants to know what it’s like — not because he seeks the pain, but because he wants to know how he could empathize with you better

With Jungkook being Jungkook, it’s perhaps the reason why he’s one of the gifted few people who could strike up a sensible conversation with a toddler and make them laugh without doing anything at all.

Something about Jungkook makes Haneul laugh so loudly, he wakes up almost everyone in the house in peace. Even Jungkook’s attempt at lame jokes tickle Haneul more than the way Namjoon’s ever tried in earnest to make him laugh.

You’ve already slinked past the two of them on the dining table, tending to the soup and the few hundred side dishes Jungkook started on but paused just to talk to Haneul.

“Haneul, don’t believe your uncle-…” you chime over a playful dig that Jungkook makes in your expense, the giggles that had only been filling your ears just seconds ago instantly ceasing when you notice Yoongi standing near you.

“Uncle?” he raises his brow at you, turning his attention to his son. “Haneul, what did I say about talking to strangers?”

“But he’s not a stranger. I saw him in that movie!” he frowns, the immediate awe that slips out of Jungkook’s lips not helping his case in the slightest.

“Still a stranger,” Yoongi smiles tightly, his exhale dragging out as he mulls over the eerily domestic sight of the three of you.

“But he’s Uncle Kook,” Haneul reasons with him, pointing his finger at you. “He’s auntie’s boyfriend.”

Yoongi’s softened a little bit since breakfast.

He was never mad at Haneul in the first place (more like halfhearted because he still stands by his lesson of not teaching him to talk to strangers, even if they’re a worldwide-famous actor, but those are not his words at all) but what he is annoyed about is the scene that he walked into.

It looked far too natural for you to look like Haneul’s mom and for Jungkook to look like him, maybe even better as a dad despite not having children at all, that he thought he was seeing red.

Haneul’s lying on his shoulder as they rewatch Bluey for the second time in the living room, the shadow of your alleged boyfriend walking past him until he registers the accent, later doing a quick turnaround that makes Yoongi ultimately irritated and Haneul more than happy.

“Oh cool. I love Bluey!” Jungkook says sincerely, inviting himself to sit on the lone sofa chair to watch the episode.

“Wow, you’re just so… quirky,” Yoongi mutters under his breath with a roll of his eyes, his snarky remark making Jungkook’s ears tingle. The latter scoffs slyly, making him finally acknowledge Jungkook, albeit sarcastically. “So what do you do, Jungkook?”

Even before he could answer though, Haneul does it for him with an excitement that only comes out whenever he’s talking about his favorites.

“We watched his movies in the cinema, appa! Remember?”

“Did we?” Yoongi narrows his eyes, playing his huff into a cough. He repurposes the tinge of embarrassment that he feels into snark, running a hand through his hair cockily. “I’d for sure remember an actor if they were good.”

( ♡ )

“Where’s your brother? I need him to do the heavy lifting.”

Your mom asks you with an urgency that parents only past the age of forty could possess, her lips already parted awaiting your response towards a question she asked just two seconds ago.

Even if you weren’t engrossed on an episode of Bluey (Jungkook and Haneul put you into it and you get their laser focus now) just now, you still wouldn’t know about your brother’s whereabouts. Yoongi saves you this time, his response piquing both yours and Jungkook’s interest.

“He’s in practice. Joon took Haneul with him so he could learn too.”

Jungkook looks up from his phone sharply, eyes wide in eagerness. He and Yoongi haven’t even looked at each other since yesterday yet their coordination (read: competitiveness) syncs with the other at the exact second, their insistence on tagging along a menial task making you jolt.

“I’ll come with, mom!”

“I’ll come with, auntie.”

It’s not a competition, yet Jungkook jumps up to stand so quickly, his head almost brushed the ceiling. “Let’s go, babe,” he holds out a hand for you, making you clear your throat as you’re still trying to gauge the situation.

“But what about Yoongi? Poor thing, he’ll be left alone,” your mom awes, her pout only deepening when Yoongi pretends to look crestfallen at being overlooked. He doesn’t have to pretend that much because despite not being the biggest fan of grocery-shopping, especially in your area because it always smelled of eggs despite barely carrying any eggs, he’ll jump at any task to impress your mom, and you by extension.

“I don’t think you should worry-…” you start, already being interrupted in an instant.

“Oh come on, Y/N. Two pairs of hands are better than one! They really have to do some heavy lifting because I forget to tell you about that one time your aunts hounded me for-…” she trails off while telling you a story about your supposedly huge extended family, blissfully unaware that there’s two men fighting to open the door for the both of you.

Yoongi’s driving his car as the most spacious option, making Jungkook snicker under his breath as he blames himself for not bringing his SUV which is clearly more expensive than whatever Yoongi’s driving, even if you elbow him lightly by the ribs because you didn’t ask him to do that.

“Mom, what are you doing here? Go sit in the front,” you nudge her, unwilling to sit next to Yoongi in an enclosed space.

“Oh, right! Sorry, I was just used to you always taking shotgun whenever Yoongi’s driving,” she squeals, fondly clapping to herself as she revisits the memory. “Do you remember that, sweetheart? You’d always fight with Namjoon because Yoongi got his license first.”

It may only be your mom who’s leaning against the center console to look at you in the back, but it doesn’t mean that Yoongi’s ever taken off his attention from you.

“I remember,” Yoongi smiles, looking at you from the rearview mirror. “I never forget.”

The grocery store hasn’t changed one bit.

It still smelled of eggs, the lights still aren’t as bright as they should be, and there’s still trinkets that you’ve always been swayed by being displayed near the register.

You’re taking it all in after not having been back for five years, whereas Yoongi strolls right in, but never ahead of you, as if he’s visited multiple times already since he left your town.

Your mom and Jungkook are side by side as he asks her a question you can’t even discern, only getting to know his actual agenda when you hear his sneakers skidding against the floor as he runs towards the pushcarts.

Yoongi, without even knowing the full context, runs after him because he didn’t want to come in second place for whatever it is that Jungkook’s challenging him to.

“I’ll steer the cart,” Jungkook presents definitively, his hand raised mid-air as if he’s being graded for eagerness alone. He looks like he wants to prove himself even if it’s only you and your mom present; no director, no producer in sight who sizes him up.

“No. I’ll do it,” Yoongi argues out of nowhere, his bruised hands reclaiming the cart under Jungkook’s grasp. He’s not even looking at your mom because his gaze is only fixed on Jungkook who’s just two tugs away from actually spitting at him.

“I said it first,” your pretend-boyfriend forcefully pulls the hunk of metal away from Yoongi, the latter coming along with it for the briefest of seconds before he does the same, this time with Jungkook gasping.

“What, are you method-acting for your next role as a cart-steerer?”

Your mom’s a little perplexed at the scene before her, lips parting in both concern and amusement because for a pair of people who haven’t met each other before, Yoongi and Jungkook are oddly competitive. They want to provesomething, anything, and maybe everything so bad, they neglect the fact that they look ridiculous fighting over a pushcart.

“We actually need two,“ she says to no one in particular, thinking out loud as she goes through her grocery list. “I think maybe even three because-…”

“I’ll get it,” Jungkook rushes out in panic, almost bumping into you in the process. You were only gone for a minute to retrieve your phone from the car and yet he already looks breathless, the knot between his eyebrows untangling when he realizes that it’s you. “Oh. Sorry, babe.”

“I’ll get it, Koo,” you murmur, catching the tail end of what your mom said about the pushcarts. Jungkook’s cheeks are tainted pink in frustration and you can’t help but to be concerned, the back of your hand already flitting against his forehead before you know it. “Are you okay? Sorry, the AC in here is not like the AC in the city.”

“Huh, what? Oh no, it’s okay. I just got into this heated cart argument,” he waves you off, eyes rapidly moving between you, your mom, and Yoongi who’s mirroring his exact actions, except for the glaring hint of annoyance with the way he’s standing so close to you.

“Cart argument? What’s-…”

“We need meat.”

You barely even have a chance to digest what Jungkook’s saying to you before you see him glitch right in front of you in a hurry, the only words to register clearly in your mind being your mom’s. She’s absent-mindedly talking herself through her grocery list (as she always does) and yet the two men right next to her hang onto her every word, the speed they take off on giving you no clue to why they’re acting as such.

“I’ll get it, auntie!” Yoongi gets out even before the wheels of his cart could cooperate, momentarily tripping over himself. Jungkook sputters at that, the laughter that builds in his throat being interrupted because he realizes that the other guy is ahead of him and he simply cannot bear that.

“Beef. We need beef, right, mom? How many kilos. Like… ten? Okay. I’ll get it!” Jungkook dashes even if he’s never been in this grocery store before; even if your mom hasn’t said a single word to either of them.

You’re left dumbfounded in the middle of the store, your gaze unable to locate the distinct sounds of both of their sneakers skidding against the floor.

“I didn’t even say anything,” your mom mutters in confusion, eyes flitting to you with a wonder you can’t place because even if the both of you are lost, she seems to have a better idea than you do. “Are they… competing over you, sweetie?”

“Competing? Me? Why would you even say that, mom?” you huff, leaning against the cart as you snatch her list to get the things she’s actually looking for.

“I don’t know,” she lulls, shrugging carelessly before nudging you. “Jungkook’s your boyfriend and well, I assume Yoongi’s always wanted to be in his position.”

“How did you even come to that conclusion?”

“Small town. Few people. Cute girl, cute guy,” she places, the end of her hypothesis being accompanied by a chuckle. When she says it like that, it sounds far too easy — it sounds far too seamless, you almost wish it was exactly that. “I didn’t even take the news that Yoongi was going abroad seriously because I thought it was a joke. I thought he could never move on from here or Namjoon,” your mom pouts, tilting her head when you freeze. “Much more, he could never move on from you.”

“He did,” you answer through gritted teeth, the grip you have on her list making the paper crumple underneath your hold.

Your mom doesn’t know everything. In fact, you don’t even know if she knows anything at all. You don’t despise her for her lack of involvement because you want to keep her from the chaos of your burdens, and you’ve always wanted to keep it that way.

But the way she speaks now, so full of conviction and faith, you find yourself despising it. She speaks as surely as the way Yoongi speeds past the both of you, weaving through aisles to get items she didn’t ask for, competing for and against a higher power (read: you) that Jungkook himself seeks.

She says it so surely, it’s as if she knows about every waking thought that Yoongi’s ever had in your absence.

“It doesn’t look like he did.”

You ponder over your mom’s adoration for Yoongi, most of which you can’t decipher if it’s misplaced or not. You know he’ll always have a special place in her heart and in her home because she’s known him even before he was born because she’s best friends with Mrs. Min.

Yoongi has a place in your life, no matter if it’s in your own or in the lives of the people you love. He probably has a modern penthouse in Namjoon’s life, the decoration in it improving over time. On the other hand, Yoongi probably occupies an ancestral cabin in your mom’s life that’s been well-maintained for longer than he’s ever been alive, the decor in it being handmade and resilient through the years.

In your life, however, you can’t tell how and if Yoongi occupies it in the first place. For the longest time, his place in your life had come in the form of a mansion that not even a single architect nor engineer could ever think of. For a moment too, Yoongi’s place in your heart came in the form of a little house on a vast farm overlooking the mountains and the sea. Throughout all the houses that Yoongi’s shape-shifted to in your life, you doubt now if he could ever turn into them again.

When you think of Yoongi, all you see is your room.

When you see Yoongi, all you could remember is your childhood house and its shortcomings in your life, especially when you needed to come home to it— to him, the most.

“I’ll pay, mom,” Jungkook snaps you out of your reverie, his whine making your ears ring.

“What? No, Jungkook. This is all too much,” you refuse vehemently, trying to fight him from extending his black card any further.

“It’s not. This is for your family anyway. I, I might have even grabbed extra portions for myself because mom said she’ll repeat tomorrow what she did for lunch today,” he grins, momentarily losing himself to the sight of you that he doesn’t even notice he’s in the process of being one-upped by Yoongi.

“Jungkook, baby, I’ll feel-…”

“I paid for it, auntie,” Yoongi announces, making your lips part and Jungkook’s jaw drop.

“You shouldn’t have, Yoongi,” you scold him softly, a whine already building at the back of your throat but he waves you off easily. Your mom’s thanking him profusely in the background, and while Yoongi’s pleased with the attention, his gaze remains on you.

“But I wanted to,” he insists, pursing his lips. “I should.”

“You’re not family,” is what you want to say.

“But I want to be,” is what he wants to scream.

Wordlessly, Yoongi puts a plastic toy ring he bought from the register into your bag. It’s pink and it’s star-shaped, its mold still the same from all those years ago.

You barrel into your mom’s room just to see Namjoon.

You bit at the chance of giving him the stuff he’s asked for from the grocery as per your mom, taking advantage of her focus on organizing the groceries downstairs to have a one-on-one with your brother.

“You have to make Yoongi drive into the city tonight. Either that or he flies to the US. The reunion is already tomorrow,” you seethe, crossing your arms as he sighs in defeat.

“It’s already late. Yoongi’s driving with Haneul, a kid, alone,” he emphasizes, running a hand through his hair as he himself is troubled by you being in a bind over everything. “And he can’t book a flight back on such short notice.”

“Short notice? What, did he just happen to book a one-way flight and not a round trip one?” you snort in amusement, shaking your head in disbelief. The thought actually cracks you up because out of the three of you, Yoongi happened to be the one more adept to websites despite your limited materials back then. Namjoon remains silent, and with how serious he looks, your face falls.

You can’t believe Yoongi at all.

“He did? You’ve gotta be kidding me, Joon,” you groan, throwing your head back. “What, does that mean Yoongi gets to stay in our home while we’re in this godforsaken family reunion?”

Namjoon delivers yet another blow, his revelation making you more enraged than the last.

“Mom invited them.”

“What? Why?!” you exclaim, chest rising in frustration. “Yoongi’s not family, Namjoon. Atleast not for me.”

He doesn’t miss your added remark at the end of your sentence, the underhandedness of it making him look down on the floor.

Namjoon feels guilty, he really does, but he can’t seem to make it right. He couldn’t even fight you in insisting to apologize that night.

For each day that you try to delay the inevitable of confronting him and letting him taking the fall, of letting him apologize, Namjoon feels more like a big failure for an older brother than he already is.

“But he used to be,” he says under his breath, looking up at you with a stubbornness you can’t place. “Your lifetime versus those five years — which one amounts to more?”

( ♡ )

Everyone gushes over Jungkook.

In an altitude higher than the mountainside that you’re in now, the aunts, uncles, and cousins you didn’t even know you have squeal over your fake boyfriend. By the fifth relative, you’ve already got your routine down of letting them hug you and kiss your cheek before holding Jungkook’s bicep, acting as his bodyguard to make sure they don’t squeeze him too hard or not at all.

“Oh my god, Y/N. Jeon Jungkook is your boyfriend?!”

“I knew it, I knew you were gonna have a partner who’s famous! I dreamed about it when you were-…”

“If that’s your boyfriend, then who’s he?” your cousin (?) whispers to you, cutting himself off as he turns his gaze to Yoongi and Haneul. They’re most certainly not your family, meaning that they’re unrelated to everyone present, so what your relatives (some more nosy than others) can’t wrap their heads around is the fact that there are strangers in your family reunion.

It takes one, two times for your mom and Namjoon to explain who they are and what they’re doing here in the first place, the chorus of nods eventually signaling that they’ve moved on. Some of them could even recall Mr. and Mrs. Min from the neighborhood, and Yoongi could only nod.

It’s not that he doesn’t belong right now — he actually feels the opposite. Yoongi feels that he has a place amongst a barrage of relatives he’s not affiliated to by neither blood nor paper, and it pains him; not because he’s scared of belonging, but because you probably don’t think the same way.

Haneul runs to him underneath the umbrella he’s isolated himself at, his son grasping an assortment of cash, food, and juiceboxes Yoongi most certainly did not pack in Haneul’s backpack from the night before.

“Auntie’s family is really nice, appa. Look what they gave me,” he shows everything that his hands could carry, breathing heavily in excitement as he explains that your relatives told him to come back once his hands are empty.

“Oh dear. They really think you’re adorable,” he laughs, pocketing Haneul’s cash (he swears he’ll give it back) and hiding some of the snacks he’s been given so he wouldn’t give himself heartburn eating too many at once.

Yoongi’s smiling from ear to ear, sitting Haneul in his lap as he overlooks the view of your town from above. Everything looks so small and delicate, you’d almost think none of what laid downhill ever even mattered. He didn’t get views like these in New York.

Yoongi didn’t get people like you in New York.

“Mama’s family isn’t this nice,” Haneul speaks out of nowhere, his thoughts uttered out loud directed more-on to himself than it is for his dad. Yoongi stops in his tracks in trepidation, shoulders tensing over what his son just said. “They never play with me like this. Not like auntie.”

He knows Hyewon’s relatives, albeit not that well. Her family members in the US were not this kind, not this warm, even to a child who’s actually related to them.

Yoongi’s stuck in his thoughts the whole time Haneul sips on his juice, finally being snapped into his reality nowwhen you approach their direction. His son waves at you excitedly even if you’ve just crossed paths minutes ago.

“Here, Haneul,” you hold out a container to him, the gentle smile on your face limited to only him yet Yoongi, for a lack of grace, pretends it’s also for him. “I tried my best to make it look like Bluey,” you chuckle, pointing to the mini sculpture made out of the marshmallows and blueberries that your relatives set aside for him.

Haneul beams at you, thanking you profusely. If only he wasn’t sat on Yoongi’s lap and therefore grounded, he would’ve launched himself at you to hug your legs.

Yoongi takes the hat right off his head, putting it on you while you’re crouched next to his son.

“It’s hot,” he explains, his heart continuously speaking beats the longer that you linger beside Haneul and the longer that he giggles in excitement. “I know you get headaches easily.”

( ♡ )

Despite being reachable, Yoongi still yearns for you.

He yearns for you even if you’re only within arm’s reach, sitting near you but never close enough at the long table because with you, he feels safe. He laughs in the background like it’s a sitcom to every joke and every episode of banter thrown around him. He doesn’t feel out of place with your family — he feels out of place with you.

He’s never been a wickedly jealous type. Even when he and Hyewon were still together and she cheated on him, Yoongi felt more resentful than he was jealous. He didn’t feel this type of way; he didn’t feel inferior. He didn’t feel like he was nursing a loss in his life because he has no choice but to. Yoongi had managed to divorce Hyewon because it didn’t work out between them, and that was that.

Yoongi can neither divorce you nor pull away from you because you’ve never been with each other. He harbors no resentment for you and that scares him, not because he wants to hate you so badly, but because he feels as if everything you’ll do to him, he’ll take it.

Yoongi will take it even if you set a plate for Jungkook despite unconsciously forgetting what he’s always disliked eating when you were still kids. He’ll take the serving tray from your hands still, uncaring if eating the tiniest bite of the food you’ve passed gives him an allergic reaction because you were the one who offered.

He’ll take it even if you hold Jungkook’s bicep in a hurry when there’s a bug that’s getting awfully close to your drink. Yoongi would walk to where you sit and dispose of it wordlessly because even Jungkook himself is scared of bugs. He doesn’t mind if you don’t thank him, because atleast now when he looks at you from a distance, you’re sitting in relaxation and you no longer have to hold your boyfriend.

He’ll endure the jealousy that burns through his throat more than the poorly-made, highly-alcoholic vodka your uncle made himself. He’ll hold onto the poison that is yearning and how he’ll feel like his throat would close up because if you were still young, in this setting of free rein, except you were still in love him like you used to be and he’s in love with you like he is now, neither you and Yoongi would be hurting.

Yoongi will take it. He’ll take the nothing that you give him and give you the everything that you don’t ask for anymore.

Five years versus the rest of your lifetime that you spent being in love with him is only miniscule. The suffering that he’s going through now is only a speck of the years you’ve spent in an unrequited love.

Unlike you, Yoongi’s weak. If he were to say it outloud to you, you’ll never agree because you’ve never regarded yourself otherwise. You’ll go on this tangent that you’ve always been weak, influenced by the times that Yoongi had chastised you for your lack of a passion.

To you, Yoongi had been right in a way.

To Yoongi, he’s always been in the wrong.

He’s crying to you now that the both of you are alone, overlooking the small town he used to be keen on getting out of. Now, more than ever, Yoongi wants to stay in it. He wants to stay with you.

“Why is everything with you so hard?” Yoongi whispers, his tears stinging badly from the corner of his eyes to the point that he can only make out shapes. He’s unkempt and frantic as if his life flashed before his eyes and there’s nothing he could do about it, voice strained like much of the times he’s drank himself to sleep.

He resembles Haneul at the moment. He’s always had because there’s not one bit of Hyewon in his son’s features or personality, but he looks especially like him now that he’s crying. The back of his hands harshly dig into his face, sobs bursting right from his throat. “Why do I make everything so hard for us? Why can’t I— w-why can’t I make it right for once?”

There’s a tremble to your chest that you ignore earnestly, the presence of it enough to scare you because it’s familiar; too familiar. Seeing your past play out in front of you in the form of a seemingly content family sleeping on your bed is one thing, but it’s another to see its patriarch crumble in front of you. It’s different to see your past pleading in front of you for just the slightest bit of your attention.

As a matter of fact, it’s different now because you resemble Yoongi the most.

“You never tried,” you seethe, jumping the gun before you even try to decipher what’s in the barrel. It’s a bullet you fire haphazardly that comes from your pocket that you’ve always held onto. It’s a misplaced, misshapen, old bullet that you force into a gun that Yoongi passed onto you.

Right now, Yoongi doesn’t resemble Haneul, and neither does he resemble his ex-wife.

He resembles you with the way his eyes are clearly swimming in hurt while you avoid looking at his, just to relieve the painstaking feeling of guilt and longing compacted into a sob.

“I never tried?” Yoongi exhales shakily, his quivering hands running through his hair to tug on them.“I never tried?”

You hear yourself clearly even if it’s his voice. The tremble and the anger, even all the way to the blind hope.

“I kept trying to reach out to you every single time. Every single birthday, every single Christmas, every insignificant holiday I could search up!” Yoongi cries — he actually thrashes with the way he sobs, shoulders shaking violently. “I didn’t try? If I didn’t try, try looking at every page of my passport to see all the stamps there are whenever fucking Jungkook was reported to be in another country,” he spits his name like poison, the vitriol behind it, however, never catching up to what he feels about himself.

You resemble Yoongi the most because you stand untethered, eyes blurring and lips quivering, yet you only watch him lose himself before thinking of uttering a single word.

“I’m selfish, I’m an asshole, and I’m fucking insufferable. I can’t even apologize to you correctly,” Yoongi lists, chest rising up and down too heavily, he feels like it’ll give out. “But I love you, Y/N. I-I might be every bad thing in your life right now and I own up to that. I’m still trying to be the best for you.”

Not only does Yoongi resemble you — he’s actually become you.

“You can call me the vilest names ever but you can’t say that,” he grits, teeth chattering not from the cold he’s put himself in, but because he can’t stop mentioning your name in between. “You can’t say I never tried because I always have. I’ll never stop becausethat’s what it takes,” Yoongi mutters; because, he says, not if.

“I love you,” he says it far too clearly for someone who’s drunk; far too sincerely for someone who had spent the better part of his life putting it through your head that he can’t return your affection. “I’ve always loved you.”

( ♡ )

You don’t feel good.

There’s a fever that’s starting to bloom from the base of your skull all the way to your toes, the abnormal warmth you feel in your chest making you unable to interact with everyone else outside of your room. Jungkook had left with your uncles before dawn to go fishing in the nearby lake and never would you think to inconvenience him; to tend to someone like you for something as minor as a fever, or for anything at all.

You already have a system down for taking care of yourself when you’re ill. It started when neither your mom nor your brother were home with you, and it was finally perfected when you had to live completely alone in the big city. All you had to do was gather all the energy you have, spend it at the start to get everything you could possibly need and put them all at the side of your bed, and rest until everything no longer hurts.

The major flaw with your system now is that you don’t have the energy at all. You can’t build up the strength to get up, walk across the hall and interact with your relatives, and rummage through groceries to get what you need without being questioned; you can’t build up the sense of importance you have for yourself to ask for help.

Namjoon comes into your room before you could dance around the idea of asking him to get you water, all because he has this innate sense of guilt in him and you could utilize it to your advantage. Your brother gets ahead of you before you could even register that he’s here with you, his eyes sullen and pleading.

“Can we talk?”

“I can’t exactly storm off right now,” you rasp, your voice fading out into a low chuckle.

“Do you want to talk when you’re able to storm off?” he asks sincerely with a small smile, his hand fixing your hair as gently as he could without making your migraine ring further. “If you do though, then you probably might never hear me out again.”

You stay silent because he is right, but Namjoon feels otherwise. He feels as if he hasn’t been doing anything right at all and you existing separate from him is a constant reminder. His career is at its peak but he thinks he could go higher; his relationship with you is deteriorating and he doesn’t think it could possibly be worse.

“I’m sorry for being a shitty brother,” he apologizes, the first thing out of his mouth being the last thing that floods his mind before he goes to sleep at night. “I should’ve never defended Yoongi, even Hyewon by extension.”

The heat behind your eyes isn’t all from your fever. The tears that prick your eyes aren’t because of the pressure in your head, but because of the fact that you haven’t heard Namjoon apologize to you in a long time; you haven’t talked this sincerely for even longer

“I should’ve put you first,” he sniffles, muttering apologies in between his pauses for finding the right words that would make it okay; that would somehow undo all that he’s been an accomplice to. “I should’ve been this reliable, sturdy man of the house. I-I should’ve been more of a father figure to you-…”

“Don’t,” you interject sternly. “You never filled in his shoes and you should never will. You’re only mom’s son and my brother, Namjoon. It’s never been your job to raise me.”

Even after everything, there’s a gentleness to you that Namjoon’s always loved but hate the most now. He hates that even if he’s the one who’s apologizing, you’re the one who’s saying sorry for the things you didn’t even inflict on him. Neither of you wanted to be raised by only a single parent, yet you absolve him of the guilt he’s always felt.

“But I could’ve been better. I wish I was already better from the start.”

“I know.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think how hard life was for you growing up. I-I would’ve given up football if only-…” he trembles, unable to get the last of his sentence out because you shake your head in earnest.

“Stop.”

“But I mean it. If only I-I didn’t get into football, I could’ve been there for you and mom much often. I could’ve been better and-...”

“But I grew up to be okay, didn’t I? You’re the best at what you do. We’ve managed to retire mom early because we put in the work,” you whisper, the shrug of your shoulders feeling more heavy that it should feel because the words don’t come out easily from you.

“But okay shouldn’t have been enough for you,” Namjoon tears up, bottom lip trembling as you try to take in his words that you’ve always wanted to hear at the back of your mind; you hear them now when you’ve already grown up. You hear them now after you’ve already endured the grief. “I— we should’ve given you the fighting chance to grow up more than okay.”

It’s not Jungkook who comes to visit you while you’re nursing a fever, because you’ve temporarily banned him from the bedroom. He only pouted in complaint when you called him, but he didn’t fight you that much either because you’ve called him out for the excitement in his voice to go hiking for the first time.

It’s not Yoongi who comes to visit you while you’re nursing a fever, because Haneul asked him to teach him Go (he’s not even that good at it and being the ever unable to show incompetence and have pride especially when Jungkook’s watching father, he discreetly asked lessons from your mom) so he’ll be able to play with your cousins.

Instead, it’s your mom who visits you. Even if Namjoon hadn’t tipped her off that you were feeling under the weather, she’s already had a feeling this morning.

“Are you okay, sweetie?” she asks, her hands full of everything you could possibly need and more before plopping them at your side. She makes you sit up even before you could complain, handing you a drink with some medicine you didn’t even know she carried

“Just a little fever,” you answer, getting back into your cocoon.

You don’t even attempt to make conversation because you fear that you don’t have it in you to have a heart-to-heart talk with your mom just minutes after you’ve had one with Namjoon.

You don’t even say anything to her except your thanks. Namjoon didn’t even tell her about your conversation, even if he approached her with tear-stained cheeks and bloodshot eyes while saying that it was just allergies.

Your mom feels the guilt spring to her chest even if you don’t utter a single word. She feels the remorse in her eyes when you don’t ask her for anything more. She feels the guilt the most in her hands when you don’t ask her to stay.

“I’m sorry if I made you feel like there wasn’t enough space for your burdens growing up.”

“What?”you scramble to get up in a seated position, eyes hazy from how quick you do it. “Mom, you scared me. Where’s this coming from?”

She shakes her head at your cluelessness, eyes stinging when you genuinely look at her innocently. You don’t know what she’s talking about, even if the thought has plagued her for so long.

“You’re not really okay, are you?”

“It’s… just a fever,” you mumble, your breathing already trembling at the way she looks at you.

She’s looking at you like you’re still a kid; ever so fragile and innocent, it’s as if she wouldn’t let a single thing in this world harm you. She doesn’t know a single thing about your feud with Namjoon and your long drawn-out conflict with Yoongi. What your mom does know is that she doesn’t know a single thing about the heartbreak you suppress, and that thought alone makes her hiccup in tears.

“You’re right, you know? Our house is small,” she says, distinctly recalling the tensioned conversation you had with Namjoon back at home. “It’s tiny but it was far too big for you growing up alone,” she inhales sharply, trying not to sob in front of you. “He wasn’t in the picture. I was working a hundred jobs left and right. Namjoon was trying to make a name for himself,” she shakes her head, so much so that the necklace she’s had since you were children, the same one with yours and Namjoon’s birthstones on it, rattles. “I’m sorry for making you feel that you can’t come to me.”

In just a full day, you’ve heard everything that you’ve ever wanted. It’s everything you’ve ever wanted during the school plays where you had no one from your family, except Yoongi, to watch you become an extra up on stage. He’d always deny that he did show up for you and just say that it’s because he was genuinely interested in a play about a poet he didn’t care about in reality, but you take it nonetheless.

It’s everything you’ve ever prayed for watching Yoongi live a life far too advanced for you as he held Hyewon’s hand after school. It’s what you wanted to hear when you begged him not to leave you behind.

“I-I’m okay. I’m really-…” you stutter, looking away before your tears fall in the fear that they’ll never stop.

Your mom only hugs you tighter.

“I’m here if you want someone else to carry your burdens,” she whispers. “I’m here now.”

( ♡ )

It’s the last day of the reunion when you fully recover, and it’s hours ahead of everyone when Jungkook has to leave by himself.

Without even asking for it, Jungkook grants you another week’s worth of break. You didn’t even plan on asking, yet Jungkook’s willing to give you a month if only you do.

You’ve already arranged for his personal driver to pick him up and take him back to the city. You’ve already packed his bags, along with the multiple containers of food that your relatives (and especially your mom) insisted for him to take. You’ve arranged for your substitute to take care of him for his schedules throughout the week, along with the insistent reminder to call you whenever Jungkook needs you. (Read: he does, with or without a schedule.)

Everything is set for Jungkook to leave except for his driver who’d been roped by your mom to be filled with breakfast first, yet with the remaining minutes left, Jungkook’s still with you on your bed.

He lies on your lap even if there’s plenty of space for him to lie parallel to you on a pillow — and you let him.

“Have you ever thought about kissing me?” he asks in the middle of you texting your substitute, the randomness of his thought already being familiar to you. This time, unlike the few thousand times he’s ever asked you something straight off his mind without refining them, is different.

It’s different now because your pretend-boyfriend asks you if you’ve ever thought about kissing him, while looking like he really wants to kiss you.

“Where’d that come from?” you giggle, looking down on him on your lap.

Not once does Jungkook ever look away from you.

“Dunno,” he shrugs, pointing up at you. “Your lips are close to bleeding and it’s bothering me.”

“Sorry for turning you off,” you snort in laughter, wiping at the tiny specks of blood. Jungkook tuts when you rub at them, feeling for his lip balm out of his pocket.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” he stresses, going a little cross-eyes when he applies them for you. His eyes keep goading you, the smile he has on his face widening the more that you look at him incredulously. “Sooo… have you?”

You don’t want to lie to him at all.

“If I answer yes, Jungkook,” you toy around with his hair, setting your phone face-down because you can’t focus on anything else now. “We can never come back from that.”

Jungkook laughs in glee so loudly, Yoongi (who was only passing by; he really, really swears he didn’t just happen to eavesdrop in your room because Jungkook’s driver is all done eating and wants to beat traffic) actually flinches.

Jungkook strains to be closer to you, unconsciously training you to lean down. His lips are far too soft — far too close to you, you could see every line and every nuance in them. He whispers, eyes practically crossing at your proximity.

“And is that such a bad thing?”

( ♡ )

You’re back at home when Jungkook texts you that he’s made it back safe, and that he wants to kiss you again.

You’re back at home when Yoongi asks you if he could use the bathroom first because Haneul spilled milk on him during the drive. You’re in your childhood bedroom when you let him clean up first, and you’re sitting on your childhood bed when you volunteer to put Haneul down because he’s cranky and for some reason, wants to be held by you.

You’re back at home too when Yoongi and Haneul are knocked out for the night, and your mom calls you and Namjoon down for all three of you to talk at the dining table.

You’re back at the home you were raised in, sitting on the dining table that’s creaky when more than two people lean their weight into it, in the space you’ve roamed around alone waiting for them to come home, when your mom talks about wanting to sell it.

“You want to sell?” Namjoon’s eyes widen, exchanging a glance with you who’s as equally surprised as he is.

“Yes. It’s under my name, y’know? Not that… man’s,” she snorts, the off-hand mention of your father making you and Namjoon laugh unexpectedly. Your mom looks at ease as she talks about selling your house, the smile she has one her face being shaped with experience and grace. “I doubt the both of you would want to keep this, and besides, the offers I’ve kept for years now are high. You already know that big-shot companies have been buying out houses here for years now because of the growth potential and whatnot. Who knows, maybe our block will be turned into a mall!” she shrugs, the happiness in her tone infectious.

For someone who’s decided on letting go the house she’s both struggled and strived in, your mom’s beyond excited.

For two adults, who were once kids, who’ve seen the amount of sacrifices your mother’s put into the place by herself, you and Namjoon don’t have any objections.

“Also, consider this as me asking for permission to go on a vacation, even if I’m grown, because some people get so paranoid when I don’t answer calls,” she digs at you and your brother, immediately inciting coughs because you two, in fact, are guilty of worrying over your mom too much. “I’m going on this worldwide trip with Yoongi’s mom,” she grins, pulling out one last surprise. “We’ve talked about it since we were young. She’s earned her stripes working abroad, I managed to raise two amazing children as a single mom. We’ve earned it, I think.”

You and Namjoon share a glance once again, this time more definite than the last. You’ve made up already as far as your mom could tell, and that confirmation is what she needs before finally selling the house you all grew up in.

“You’ve earned it more than anyone.”

( ♡ )

Yoongi’s packing up for their flight tonight when you go into your room to pack up the life you’ve lived there.

“You’re coming with me and Haneul?” Yoongi jokes when he sees you pulling out your own luggage, the tone of his voice highly suggesting for you to become serious. He gets you to smile and that’s big enough of a win as is, the remainder of it more than substantial to hold onto when he’s away from you. Again.

“No, unfortunately. I’m packing up the room and eventually… the whole house,” you answer with a chuckle, voice trailing off when you see the crestfallen look on Yoongi’s face. He looks like someone who’s just absorbed the largest pain to man as he’s trying not to make it obvious. “We’re posting it for sale two weeks from now.”

Yoongi nods tightly, inhaling sharply as he tries to maintain his steady tone. “Then why are you packing up already?”

You could do this tomorrow. As a matter of fact, you could do it tonight because you don’t have to drive them to the airport. You have all the time in the world within two weeks to do this, yet you go into your room now when Yoongi’s still in it.

When Yoongi still hasn’t left, and neither of you know when you’re gonna see each other next.

“I have to get a move on. If I don’t move now,” you trail, voice close to trembling as you open cabinets you’ve never even given the time of day before. “I’m scared that I’ll keep holding onto this house.

Yoongi nods, even if he fully understands — even if he doesn’t want to swallow what you’re saying.

“You want out?”

“We want out — me, mom, Namjoon,” you explain, looking at him properly for the first time since he told you that he loved you. “For the longest time, we’ve held onto this place because we became this house at one point. Namjoon’s this world star, my mom’s traveling the world with your mom-…”

“Oh, they’re finally doing it?” Yoongi interrupts, a smile finally coming to his face at the news. He hasn’t talked to his mom in a month from how busy he’s been, and although he’s always missed her (even if they’re on much better terms than he and his dad could be), he’s happy knowing that your moms have each other atleast. “How about you? What will you be doing?”

“I’ll just be… living day-to-day. I’m not doing anything extremely special, but I’m happy and busy doing it,” you laugh, looking around your room that hasn’t appeared this clean, this warm, since you last stayed in it. “No one’s going to be around here anymore.”

As if on cue, Haneul runs to Yoongi’s arms to be picked up. He knows what the luggages mean and because he’s largely in denial that they have to leave later (as referenced by him crying to your mom and Namjoon), Haneul keeps pretending to sleep so that their trip gets delayed.

Yoongi’s about to put him on your bed even if he knows his son’s antics already, but in the fear that he’ll actually get to sleep and they don’t get to leave (which he isn’t opposed to at all), he keeps him in his arms.

You, on the other hand, take Haneul from him when his arms outstretch for you.

There’s the sentiment of you not having to do it that’s resting at the tip of Yoongi’s tongue but he holds himself back, the image of you and Haneul completely fitting one another, he wants to burn a copy of it to his retinas and designate it to be the last thing he’ll see if he ever goes blind.

Without putting Haneul to sleep on your bed, he goes to sleep in peace in your arms.

“Do you regret it?” Yoongi asks throughout the silence between you, sitting next to you at the edge of your bed. “Do you regret ever liking me?”

“I do,” you answer truthfully, rubbing circles at the Haneul’s back. “I regret knowing you.”

Yoongi takes the responsibility fully, even fuller than the way both your hurt and happiness could make or break him.

“I can’t take back all the hurt I’ve caused you,” he admits just as honestly, turning to look at you. He becomes surprised to learn that you’ve been looking at him the whole time. “But what I can promise you is that I’ll never do anything to hurt you again.”

“I have my share of faults too.”

“Eh. Mostly mine.”

“Mostly yours, yeah,” you laugh easily, nodding to yourself as you continue. “But I held onto you as much as you didn’t hold onto me. That’s my mistake.”

Yoongi stays silent at that, not because he agrees, but because the bias that you’ll never be wrong in his eyes overtakes your humbleness.

“Do you think he’ll remember the entirety of the trip?” you ask, gesturing to Haneul who’s already sleeping like a hibernating bear in your hold. “Or will Haneul just remember that time the power went out because he cried a lot?”

“Oh, he’ll remember everything alright. He’s good with retention and people in general,” Yoongi waves you off. “Even if he didn’t come along the trip— even if we didn’t crash the whole thing, Haneul would remember you.”

“Who am I to him?” you ask in curiosity, lips turning into a straight line before they curve in the slightest. “Appa’s friend, I bet.”

“Not really. You’re a lot of things to me,” Yoongi chuckles, looking at the way Haneul grips you as if you’ll float away if he lets go; he’d do the same too. “More like my first love.”

Yoongi loves you quietly.

He loves you quietly with the way he draws the curtains downstairs when you sleep on the couch, tired and stressed over a solution you couldn’t understand. He loves you with the way he’ll scoop the warmest, freshest, least-burnt portion of rice to your bowl without you even asking for it. He loves you with the way he’s willing to let you walk all over him.

He loves you quietly in the way that not even distance nor time could disrupt him.

Yoongi loves you quietly, it might have been too much.

“Is that a lottery ticket?” he asks suddenly as he spots the familiar face of it inside your luggage, tucked into the discreet pocket where your mother’s letters of encouragement when you went to the big city were also kept

“Oh, it’s still there,” you answer, in surprise yourself because even if this is the same luggage you use whenever you go out of the country with Jungkook, you’ve never noticed that it was still there. “I bought it when you left for the US.”

Yoongi stops in his tracks in retrieving the scratch ticket from the pocket, looking up at you in curiosity. “Why did you buy one that day?”

Haneul stirs in his sleep in your arms, waking up right at the middle of you and Yoongi being lost in each other. He mistakes the silence as a signal that they’ll be leaving already, making a mess of himself as he quickly goes down the stairs to look for your family there and cling to them instead.

You and Yoongi are alone again.

“I don’t know,” you answer honestly, grasping the scratch ticket you used to spend hours looking. “I guess I just needed some proof that fate was against me that day.”

“But how would you even know that?” Yoongi asks, pointing to the card that’s still covered. “You didn’t even scratch it.”

You answer honestly, the reason burnt to the back of his mind.

“Because I knew I would lose my mind if I actually lost.”

“Try,” Yoongi swallows, nudging the ticket closer to you with a gaze that mirrored yours when he left. “Try again. Please.”

You have nothing else to lose.

Yoongi isn’t yours to lose.

You retrieve the same old coin Yoongi gave to you on the same day that he bought you your first scratch ticket, the appearance of it from your luggage making his heart skip a beat.

He doesn’t speak and neither do you, gaze only fixed on the way you scratch the card almost hesitantly, as if you’re still scared of the results of something that you should’ve known five years ago. (Read: you still are.)

When you get to the last digit, you freeze. You comb through the pattern over and over again, yet you still can’t believe it.

You’ve won the highest possible prize.

“Oh.”

“Oh,” you parrot Yoongi, looking up at him as he can’t believe it either.

“You won.”

“I won,” you repeat, running a hand through your hair. You actually laugh, the lump in your throat subsiding. It’s a welcome, albeit loaded, feeling of happiness that comes in between the two of you. “I thought I would lose,” you mutter bitterly, shaking your head.

You didn’t lose. Fate wasn’t against you that day, and yet you still lost yourself thinking subconsciously what the proof of it would’ve been.

“Who would’ve thought, right?” you sigh, eyes drifting to Yoongi. “If only I took that chance years ago, I would’ve won.”

Yoongi smiles tightly, breath faltering in recollection.

“I’m familiar with the feeling,”

Yoongi doesn’t get to finish packing for him and Haneul and neither do you with your whole room, the shift in the atmosphere suddenly making him stand.

He’s breathless and he doesn’t know what for, the rapid beating of his chest making his voice louder than necessary. “Hey, what do you say you take a break? I’ll pack up your room. I have to stay alert anyway for Haneul."

You thank him before leaving him alone in your room.

Yoongi can’t find the strength in him to pack. The only power he has left in him is for him to think of taking everything out from his luggages, the thought of leaving again, this time worlds different than the last when you were begging him not to — he feels like throwing up.

Yoongi’s merely an amalgamation of you. He’s only a compilation of your every word, every feeling you’ve implanted in his heart. He’s filled with nothing but your every triumph and shortcoming; every late night hanging out with you as you attempt to study while he keeps you company, every minute he spent going out of his mind trying to look for you when you ran away from home.

Yoongi loves you silently to the point that he gets out of your room without accomplishing a single thing he said he’ll do just awhile ago.

In the grand scheme of things, Yoongi realizes that he was wrong. He was as wrong as you were right that the moment he leaves home, he’ll spend the rest of his life looking for it.

Even if you left your home like he did, even if neither of you could come home anymore the moment your childhood house gets sold, Yoongi would still search for it. He’ll still search for you. You’re no longer where you were, but you are everywhere that Yoongi is.

He looks for you in Namjoon’s room, to the dining table, and all the way outside, just to ask if he and Haneul could stay for dinner.

Yoongi finds you and Haneul eating sundaes on the pavement outside, with you on the ground and a scrap cardboard underneath Haneul so it wouldn’t be hot for him.

Fate hadn’t been against you five years ago. And even if he’s much too late, Yoongi could only pray that fate isn’t against him now.

He walks over to where you and Haneul are, grabbing another scrap of cardboard to put underneath you.

Yoongi is consumingly yours all the time.

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