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#namjoon ff
youmyjhope · 6 months
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hello!! if possible can i please request rough passionate sex w joonie? w lots of squelching and skin slapping sounds please hehe
dis song fire idc who doesnt like it
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letjungcoook7 · 5 months
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time to play || knj || +18
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☾ summary: you teased your boyfriend while he was at work and when he gets home... well, you will be punished.
☾ w.c: 2k
☾ pairing: bf!namjoon x fem!reader
☾ rating: 18+ minors do not interact.
☾ genre: smut, established relationship.
☾ warnings: praise kink, daddy kink, spank, dom!Namjoon, choking, deep throat, oral sex (m and f), masturbation, multiple orgasms, protected and non protected sex, vaginal sex, anal sex, pain kink, bref breeding, lots of degradation, bref after care, bites and hickeys.
☾ author's note: keep in mind that this is all fiction and there's no connection to reality here. english is not my first language so im sorry in advance for any grammar and spelling mistakes.
Your body shook because you knew he was angry. You can't even face him, so you put your arms behind your back and lower your head in a position of total submission. Maybe he'll be happier that way.
"What are you going to do with me?" You say softly, biting your lower lip and quickly looking at him with an expression of innocence. "I already said sorry."
"Yes, you did, but it's not enough," your boyfriend said, as he took off the wide belt of his pants and unzipped them. Namjoon pulls down his pants just enough to show his erection, making you look quickly and swallow hard. He suppresses a smile as he pulls down his underwear, making his dick pop out. Namjoon was hard and the head of his cock was glistening, covered in precum. "Do you want it?" he whispers, holding the base of your dick with one hand as he takes a step towards you, using his other hand to pull your hair tightly and make you bend down, until you were kneeling in front of him. You grumble at the strength he used and the look in his eyes.
"Suck me until I forget what a stubborn slut you are. Swallow that cock like it's the only one you want. Because it is." 
Without warning, you hold his dick with both hands, spreading the pre-cum over the entire length of Namjoon's dick and leaving him wet. You smile sideways, without letting him notice and start sucking the head with pressure, making him moan. You then start to swallow your boyfriend's cock, making short movements and looking at him. You move your mouth away, now just licking him slowly and whisper in a velvety voice: "but that's the only I want."
You rub your tongue on his balls, making him pull your intertwined hair around his fingers even more as you suck one ball at a time. Namjoon holds his own dick that was shaking between his fingers and, as soon as you release hid balls, he puts the head of his dick in your mouth, forcing his hips and making you choke. He moans loudly, letting out a grunt as your eyes fill with tears and you choke on his cock down your throat. 
"You suck like a slut" he says, angrily, observing your luscious, red lips and your expression of false innocence, making him smile satisfied. He continues fucking your mouth for some time, you closed your eyes trying to relax the muscles in your throat as much as possible so that he could go deeper and the tears involuntarily rolled down your cheeks.
"You know that daddy's naughty girl must be punished" Namjoon says, quickly taking his drooling cock out of his mouth and zipping up his pants. He made an expression of pain as his dick throbbing non-stop and now crammed back into his underwear. Namjoon picks up the belt from the floor and walks to the bed, sitting on the edge of it and asking you to sit on his lap, with a heavily frown. You look at him, scared when you see the belt in his hand, but as soon as you look into his eyes, you swallow hard, running your hands up your thighs and lifting my skirt, leaving your pink panties exposed. 
"Is that really necessary, daddy? I promise I'll be a good girl," you say, whimpering and standing next to him.
“Come here, you whore,” he says between his teeth, standing up in one quick movement and picking you up tightly. Namjoon sits on the bed and lays you down on your stomach with ease, your body stretched out over his closed legs and your ass perched due to your hips being on his lap. Namjoon gently lifts your skirt. 
"I'll be a good girl ... " he mocks and slowly pulls down your panties, stroking your ass for a long time without any force. "You already should be a good girl. You must behave" he grumbles, giving a heavy slap to each side of your ass, catching you completely off guard.
You give a cry of surprise, but he ignores it, takes the belt and fastens it around your neck like a collar, pulling its length with each new slap he gives your ass and making your head fall back.
You breathe hard, feeling your eyes water. 
"I'm sorry, please" you beg, mumbling and sticking your ass out a little more and biting your lower lip hard, and looking at him over your shoulder. He slaps you again and takes you off his lap and stands up, taking off all his clothes. 
Namjoon holds his own dick and looks at you, while he closes his hands into fists and masturbates while pushing you on the bed, making you lie down. He takes the belt off your neck, but then uses it to lock your wrists behind his back like a handcuff, but much more uncomfortable for you due to the hard leather material. 
He puts you on your stomach again and runs his hand up your skirt, lifting it again and you moan, resting the side of your face on the bed while Namjoon reaches over to the dresser drawer and takes out a condom. He kneels on either side of your legs, placing them together. You hear the sound of plastic being opened as Namjoon puts on the condom and rubs his dick against your tight pussy due to the unfavorable position. 
"Is that what you want?" Namjoon whispers in your ear, without letting go of your hair, which he held tightly. "That's not what you're going to get." He moves the head of his dick up to your ass, moving both sides of it apart and fitting it into your butt, inserting it in a single slow movement, with almost no lubrication other than the little lubrication inside the condom.
Namjoon lets out a single long, hoarse moan, closing his eyes in satisfaction and adjusting himself better over you before starting to move slowly, thrusting into you hard. 
"This is so you can learn not to tease me while I'm working, bitch"
“Holy shit,” you mumble and rest your forehead on the mattress. "You're hurting me" you close my eyes tightly, still not used to having him inside me and forcing your wrists more, trying to free yourself and involuntarily, you move your hips, rolling around to get me used to his dick. “Slow down, damn it.” you say angrily, letting out a loud, high-pitched moan and looking at him over your shoulder and, as soon as your eyes meet, you change to a sly and submissive expression. "Please?" you say quietly and pout. 
"No. I'm going to fuck that tight little ass of yours" he responds by practically growling, and forces his hips several times in short thrusts, moaning loudly and angrily.
You feel increasing friction due to the lack of lubrication and the movements he's making. You continue to whimper, so he brings his hand to your mouth, making you moan muffled. You clench your hands into fists with each thrust, making your nails dig hard into the palm of your hand as if it would bring some relief. You move your hips and Namjoon digs his fingertips into your skin, keeping you still. He starts twitching inside you and with a few more hip movements he starts to cum inside the condom, groaning loudly. 
Namjoon pulls out of you, turning you to face him after releasing your wrists. He gets up and goes to the bathroom, getting rid of the condom and cleaning himself without much effort and then returning to you, who was looking at the ceiling and breathing heavily, feeling your insides burning. 
Namjoon returns, with an expressive smile on his lips and, on his knees on the bed, he spreads your legs, keeping them wide apart.
"One movement from you and I'll stop and not touch you again" he says seriously, pointing his index finger at you as a threat.
Namjoon runs his parted lips down your body and in between your legs, looking at you angrily. He gives a heavy lick along the entire length of your pussy. He grabs each lip of your pussy tightly with his mouth, sucking it and pulls his face away, slapping your pussy.
"Who owns you? Say it!" he shouts, spreading your pussy lips with his index and middle fingers, rubbing them against your clit. 
“I’m fucking yours.” 
Your hips move involuntarily and you moan lowly, feeling your pussy clenching around nothing. 
"That's my girl" he whispers, full of lust, holding your thighs wide open on the mattress and licking your pussy, now to give you pleasure. 
Namjoon swirls his tongue around your clit and sucks it eagerly, looking at you, before dragging his lips down your thighs and leaving hickeys on the inside of each of them. 
"Come here. You've already learned your lesson" he says slyly, moving his face away and climbing further onto the bed, lying on his side and leaving one arm stretched out on the mattress so you can lie there.
"Let me fuck you sideways, just the way you like" he says, with a pout and a frown, clearly missing being inside you. You laugh softly and lie on his side, slowly rubbing your ass against him while he adjusts his arm underneath you, with the other holding your hip and rubbing his dick against your pussy. "All wet for me., he speaks in a husky tone, penetrating you slowly. 
"All for you" you say slyly, looking at him over your shoulder and closing your eyes as you moved your hips, feeling your pussy throbbing with excitement. He moves quickly, thrusting into you with ease and hitting you deeper and deeper. Both emitting loud moans and Namjoon sat his face on your neck, kissing and licking your skin with as much desperation as he fucked you. 
"Ride me" he orders and pulls out of you, lifting you onto his lap, turning around on the bed and sitting you on his lap, generously at the base of his cock and helping you sit on him at once. Namjoon lets out a long moan and runs his hands up your back, passing over your shoulders and reaching your breasts, which he grabs tightly.
"Now we're going ruin ourselves from fucking" he says with raised eyebrows, slapping your ass and pulling you. You kiss with need, while he thrusts his hips against yours and helps you bounce on his cock, satisfied with the sounds of your bodies colliding. You break the kiss and hold his face and then look away from Namjoon's mouth, rubbing slowly, sucking his lower lip and whispering:
 "You still have my taste in your mouth, daddy" you let out a low laugh and moved harder, your tits moving as you fucked yourself into him. 
"I swear I'm going to put a fucking baby inside you today" he murmured between moans. "I love being inside you" Namjoon digs his fingers into your back until he reaches your ass, grabbing both sides tightly and kissing you again, feeling spasms every time you clench around him and you moan against his mouth with more and more desire until he starts to cum inside you in long, hot jets, placing his forehead against yours and leaving our mouths glued together. 
You move up and down on his dick a few more times before you cum too. Completely exhausted, you lie down close together, hands and bodies intertwined and breathing at the same frequency. 
“I love you, Namjoon.”
"I love you more than anything, Y/N."
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l0mljeonjungkook · 2 years
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Lost & Found | knj x reader
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➤ Summary - eight years beside him were nothing but a roller coaster ride. Being a single mother wasn't easy, but your best friend, Kim Namjoon made your way smooth. You never knew you felt something for him until you read his diary, which you weren't supposed to read ever. What will you do, if not only you but Hyeon, your baby, and your best friend Namjoon, wants the same, what you desired for so long?
➤ Pairing - Namjoon x reader
➤ Genre - fluff, smut, angst
➤ Warnings - 18+ unprotected sex, grinding, lovemaking, explicit sex, confessions, hickeys +more.
➤ Word count - 9.6k+
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"When are you getting spliced?" you questioned him while wiping off Hyeon's face daubed with the ice cream all over his mouth.
"y/n why do you ask the exact question every dinner night!! besides I'm better off alone." He pointed at you with the chopsticks in his hand.
"What? I have a license to interrogate, a license called best friends since uh--", you count on your fingertips and Hyeon laughs at you catching a glimpse of you amounting to something on your fingertips, "since seven years, yaah!! after all, you're diving into the 28th year of your life, Mr. Kim!!" You chuckle a pure sham chuckle.
"Hyeon, tell your mom, to concentrate on her food." He instructs Hyeon, who's heartily licking his fingers overlaid with ice cream yet his almond-shaped hazel eyes, are shaded with a craving for more ice cream, and mischievous eyes spot chocolate ice cream on the table.
"Hyeon is bored with mom and you", you both crack up.
You look back at the man sitting opposite you, "No, but seriously, when are you jumping on to propose Ji-a, enough of coffee dates now! I want you to start a family", you didn't ask, you implored, however, honestly you don't understand why.
"Coffee dates?? Are you-- insane? Coffee dates?? I never really got into such dates with her, if you ask me!! Who the hell told you so?" He blurted but instantly looked at Hyeon as if the kid heard his shoot voice and shut his eyes, "I'm sorry y/n, I didn't mean to shout out loud at you. Just to be transparent with you I'm currently not seeing anyone nor will see anyone in the future. And if you got your answer then let's leave, I'll drop you two."
You honestly don't get, why he gets so pissed off with your question.
"No, Hyeon needs more ice creams"
"Baby, no--"
"Which flavor my angel wants?" He questioned Hyeon, with fondness in his eyes.
"Chocolate one"
Barely a minute ago he was ready to drop you two home but isn't it obvious, that his love for Hyeon is out of the world?
"Why do you get so painfully angry about your marriage"
"Cause I don't want to!!!"
"Mom--"
"She's a nice--"
"Mom mom--"
"Yes baby", you wiped his face again.
"Mom I want you to get married to my friend" he announced, eyes on his ice cream.
You chuckled, looking at the man sitting opposite of you, "friend?"
"Yaa mom, Namjoon, he's good mom, then I'll tell everyone that my friend is my dad too." He giggles, and you both can only ignore him.
This question caught you off-guard. It startled you but it wasn't unfamiliar. You have been subjected to this question by none other than you, yourself. It didn't amaze you that much but what shook you was - the man himself in front of you.
It's been five days to be precise, since the last dinner on Saturday night you haven't heard from him. It's the sixth day, Friday morning, you couldn't sleep the entire night, questions eating your inner soul because Namjoon your best friend for 8 years, phones you every morning before you drop Hyeon to school and whether you said no to him for conceivably thousands of time, that you'll drop your kid to school, he still expects perhaps one day you'll let him, but latterly he ain't called you once. And you vow to yourself if today too he won't, you'll despite everything.
Kim Namjoon, where will you inaugurate him? There's only a beginning point, and you could purely start word-for-word about him but no final page for his efforts, love, respect, and support for you, it's something you have been subjected to a lot of instances where his efforts, love, care, and support for you only increased tripartite. There's only an open door in your heart for him but closed when he carved his room in there, and now he's been living there for 8 years.
How you two met was indeed one of the two, best parts, of that university.
You two met at New York University 8 years ago to be exact, both from the same place Ilsan in Goyang, Seoul, South Korea, albeit never met each other, registered for the same program in uni, attended the same classes, but never spoke to each other. It was one day when you dashed to the class and took a seat beside him, horrified by the professor that if he didn't let you in like the other day he did with one of your class fellows, but the sigh of solace left your lips when you saw your professor was late for the first time in 3 months, hah!
You're somebody who never initiates a conversation with someone whether known or unknown, and you would have never known him if he wouldn't offer you his bottle of water, "Drink it, the professor would be late fifteen minutes", you were zoned out until you heeded his deep baritone voice which startled you. You blinked owlishly when you saw his hand stretched out the bottle in front of you.
"Thank you", barely two words you managed to choke out, after taking two sips, you handed the bottle back to him. Still today you laugh at your naivety, how you treated him the first day you two met, though you two used to gawk at each other, yet never persuaded to exchange a word or two. But you remember how your inner self lauded the Lord, for arriving late to the class. If In case you were on time that day maybe... You'd have perched on your regular seat, and again you two would have been eyeing each other from east to the west of your class, and never would have been friends. That was day one of your friendship.
"Uh-- sorry but would you mind walking with me to the library, umm after this class," taking a view of the watch on his wrist as he puffs out a breath, "uh, Just for the group project, if you already are in some group then there's no rub. I'm still looking for a group--"
"Oh, no issue, I can connect y'know", why are you feeling so diffident in front of him, looking everywhere but him, tracing circles on your palm midst talking to him, "I-- uh I too am not in any bunch, so let's do this then?" You harrumph, rubbing your sweaty palms on your thighs.
And you smack your head and snappily shut your eyes at the remembrance, of how shy you were beside him, but not now, now you two are akin to birds of a feather flock together.
"Great, then," he said with a dimpled smile.
His dimpled smile from ear to ear and the dips on his cheeks, and the crinkles near his crescent eyes looked so adorable on him. Not to mention his eyes are like a crescent moon, you could even draw his picture with closed eyes. The picture of his face is engraved in the back of your head.
Those days with Namjoon were flooded with solace, giggles, and serenity until one glossy day turned grey when you met Hyeon's father - Jace, at that university the first and last awful and guiltiest memory at uni.
But why are you even calling him your child's father, ever he said was, one thing for your kid, that he's not his. No, not again this pang in your chest.
You met Jace in the second year of your university. Not to mention the initial months of your relationship with him were all glitter and gold. You both enjoyed your university life like a grad student usually does. Being at frat parties was a new norm for a girl from a small town. Being at pubs, getting some Dutch courage, getting totally jaked at those darty parties, and not least of all out for the count.
Honestly, you're not confident about all those darty party nights with Jace, the negative behaviour of yours, a post-break syndrome after being utterly drunk as you fail to remember the night's episodes. But where you still hung up on is Namjoon never attended such parties, maybe because Jace was with you and protected you? Perhaps he never preferred Jace because of his d2 group in Namjoon's words - douchebag drunkard group, who either would be bathing in alcohol or would be soliciting some women in pubs or frat parties.
So your only best friend wanted to stay off from you and your nerd ex like rigidly stayed away by a country mile.
It's been 5 years since Hyeon's birth which adds, that you never met your ex ever again, what you went through after Jace became acquainted with the fact that you were pregnant, still haunts you. Not that you never wanted Hyeon, but after your ex was subjected to the reality that you were pregnant, he cut all the cords with you. Jace left you, made up the false assumptions in his mind, about you're not pregnant because of him, no, no you recall back to his words by heart - "This ain't my kid, it's your best friend's or whoever you're sleeping with, WHORE!!" The ache earned by the slap of his words is still in your heart, he chuckled, dark eyes wandering over your body, and left. Making all the promises void leaving your heart barren. But you wished for once his words were true, about Namjoon as your child's father.
You look at Hyeon sleeping soundly beside you, he so looks akin to his father by his looks but his heart is purely like Namjoon. He looks so glorious just like sunshine whirled your miserable life into a garden full of lifelike and scented blooms. Jace only gave you awful memories - nightmares, but your baby is the best gift, and besides the tragic past with Jace, everything fades away with Hyeon and Namjoon by your side.
You are grateful to your best friend that he never gave up on you and stayed with you in the rain and shine, life is not always about sunshine and glitters but with him, it really was and still is!!
Whether Namjoon isn't your child's father, he never lets you feel like you would ever need Jace. Driving you to the hospital, discussing your health with her, eyeing your every med, not letting you attend the classes, even writing notes for you. Who so ever will marry him, gonna be a lucky girl, he's the ideal man. You never felt you were a single parent of your child, never. Maybe a father too won't do what he did for you and Hyeon. Honestly even Hyeon never asked about his father, maybe Namjoon's presence was only equal to his father.
Your child's question - on last Saturday's dinner with him, is the clue.
Perhaps, a father figure is important whether you play the mother and father's part in your child's life, there still would be room left.
You do want to confess your feelings to Namjoon. However, at the same time, you do not want to waste his life because of you and your kid.
And even if you envision this, you do get scared what if he said no, or that the room in his heart is already engaged? but it haunts you in case he doesn't reciprocate what you feel for him. That is the reason why you asked about Ji-a that dinner night. What frightens you the most is not being rejected but him distancing himself from you after your confession... That's still okay but you can't see your kid and your best friend staying away because that would be a fate thousand times worse than death.
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Your overthinking took the best of you, it's currently 6 am you didn't shut your eyes for a moment. The alarm buzz makes Hyeon a little startle, so you quickly shut it. His tiny arms tighten their grip on your arm. You silently giggle at your baby's movement, as you kiss him on the forehead, ruffling his hair ever so lightly.
He shortly unfolds his eyes, "mom," he softly murmurs.
"Yes, my angel."
"Mom, Joonie will come" he manages to let those words out blinking his eyes to dust away the sleep and watch his mom's face.
"What? Baby sleep for a few more minutes,"
"No, I have to get ready for my school mom, Joonie is coming to pick me up for school," he smiles midst rubbing his eyes from the back of his hand to wipe away the slightest sleep left in his eyes.
"Oh, baby", you hug him tightly leaving kisses all over his face, "but he didn't phone me, baby"
"Mom, Hyeon called him," he points at you, "your phone," he chuckles at your baffled face, "hyeon told him if he will not come to pick me up for school," his eyes are on your night tee button which glitters under the dim light as he toys it, "then Hyeon will find a new best friend."
You chuckle and place a kiss on his forehead, at least your kid isn't like you, save for eating doughnuts and whatever sweet hooks his eyes, let alone unable to keep things in his heart, and you're delighted with him today.
"Then get ready for school."
Hyeon is quick at getting things done, maybe it's Namjoon's influence, sticking around him, eating occasionally sleeping, and repeating, under his friendship, is why he's fitting in the same frame as Namjoon.
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It's nearly 8 am you assume, and Hyeon's school time is 9. Hyeon is chomping on grapes, as your eyes are fixated at the entrance of your wee apartment which you could only afford to live in with your baby let alone you have been staying here since you flooded back to Seoul.
You left your main door unlocked for Namjoon, waiting for him, as you're barely focusing on anything else.
There's a knock at the door initially, and your eyes spring instantly from your phone to the direction of the knock followed by a creaking sound of the wooden door being opened.
"Joonieee," Hyeon squeals as he jumps off his skyscraper chair, his voice muffles because of the grape in his mouth.
Namjoon sinks to the floor, and outstretches his arms to hug the kid scurrying toward him, and hugs him tightly placing kisses all over his face and you gush at the scene in front of you, of the two main characters of your life. Their giggles, flood your mini apartment with light and serenity that soothes your heart.
"Piggyback me now," Hyeon whines.
Namjoon giving Hyeon a piggyback... It's a norm between them. When so ever Namjoon visits, he parades straight to Hyeon's room and gives him a piggyback ride to the living room.
Is there anything Namjoon denied Hyeon? No. Hyeon really does know how to bring his friend to his heels.
Will he, right now? Conceivably no!!
Because before you even think of an answer, he gives Hyeon a piggyback ride to the couch.
You glance at him, but he only avoids your gaze. You swore you won't ever poke tease at him about Ji-a or another girl. It was a colossal blunder that evening and the least he could do is flash a smile!?... this is something you didn't save at least he could return a smile to you!! Annoyance bubbles inside you, as you narrow your eyes at him and cross your arms under your soft bosoms, rise.
Fine, he's being tough... Then I'm the toughest.
You parade toward your kitchen to prepare some tea for him and ramen for your baby. This Namjoon is not your best friend anymore, he's Hyeon's best friend now. The way his face glows merely talking to your kid tells a lot. At least for Hyeon's sake, he's here after five days. But why are you jealous? He's only talking to your kid but why is he so low?
They are relaxing on the couch, Hyeon sitting close to Joon.
"Hey Joonie", his soft baby-like voice sounds so dull in the morning.
"Yes, my little angel", remote in his hand and eyes on the TV, surfing Hyeon's favourite movie minions... And probably it's the 50th time today for him watching minions with the kid.
"I do not want to watch a movie", he crosses his arms and knits his brow in unison.
"Why?" Namjoon frowns as his finger halts on the remote button he places it aside because it's so unwonted apathy on Hyeon's face.
Hyeon looks in your direction before speaking, "Promise you won't tell mom!" He impetrates, His eyes zoned out, on the floor, perhaps mind on whatever he's been thinking.
Not wanting to waste a second, Namjoon blurts, "I promise." He leans closer to him, picks him up, and straddles him on his lap. "Tell me"
"My friend Ji-woo, said Geon is her best friend and I'm not." He pouts as he hugs Namjoon burying his face, against his chest.
Namjoon chuckles placing a kiss on his hair he pats Hyeon's back, "this was the serious thing you wanted to tell."
"Yes, she's my very good friend Namjoon," he stretches himself out to catch a glimpse of Namjoon, as he continues, "it's complicated."
He chuckles again, age just five but thinks like a fifty. But at some point, Namjoon too felt the same.
Does he still feel the same after these years?
Does he still love your sapphire eyes, which he fell in love with?
Hyeon's eyes are Sapphire too, and radiant like you.
Does he still want to spend the rest of his life with you even after you are a mother of a child?
Does he need to remind himself why is he still single?
Or is he waiting for someone who perhaps never loved him or will never love him??
"What are you boys chattering ... I too want to know", you asked aloud from the kitchen and startled him the messed-up questions which were already jumbled up are now whirled up like a Bermuda triangle... consuming him.
"Nothing mom, we can't disclose. It's our secret, right Namjoon", Hyeon questions, placing his tiny hand on Namjoon's cheek whilst poking his index on his deep dimples, as Namjoon titters at Hyeon's baby-like voice.
"it's hollow," he scowls, poking both indexes on either of his dimples, "Joonie, your cheeks"
"Heyyyy, told you to call him uncle", you yell at your kid.
And they snubbed you, again babbling about something which now looks suspicious to you, yet you are here in the kitchen preparing tea for Namjoon and ramen for boys.
Whilst yelling at your kid, you burnt your index, as you shriek yanking back your hand, and on spur of the moment, you suck your index - a reflexive response.
He looks at you, standing in the kitchen, face scarlet and a finger in your mouth. With due consideration, he gently places Hyeon on the couch and dashes hotfoot towards you. Taking your hand under his custody, he - on autopilot - sucks your index which was in your mouth a moment ago. His eyes looking darkly, deeply, into your eyes with something unfathomable which you don't understand but gives you wintery shivers down to your spine.
"Ar-- are you mad at me?" You stutter, at the nearness between you two, your heart is pounding at the speed of light years. Oh, my god. You in a jiffy, look at Hyeon, and he's eyeing you two with a scowl on his baffled face, surely he is out of depth. You hastily take a step back.
"PUSHED TO VIOLENCE MAD" he declares, dark eyes still not leaving you, peeping oh-so-wildly into your soul.
"But why", you murmur, managing to choke out, your eyes flutter.
"Where was your damn mind y/n?" He hisses with his gritted teeth, your eyes wandering across his honey tone skin glowing in sunlight that seeps through the window and meets his soft petal-like skin as your hands are hungrily desiring to nuzzle him, craving to feel him.
"Jooniee," Hyeon calls, annoyance dripping from his voice, "what are you two doing there" he quizzes you two, and in a flash look at Joon and a mysterious grin on the corner of his mouth.
"Coming", he let out, looking at you with his sexy grin.
Does he smile like this or it's just you, noticing it right now? He looks handsome today, Is he really single? or not? because of how such a beautiful-young-rich man like him is? how has no one ever proposed to him or approached him? maybe someone must have, surely proposed to him and this idiot would have rejected her like he always had. Namjoon with someone else, this picture in the back of your dense head, who's not you is undeniably painful, your heart is burning with just a mere image of him with someone else! What will happen if that image will pop out someday out of nowhere, what if one day you'll meet the love of his life, who, beyond a shadow of a doubt, is not YOU.
He claps in front of your eyes, "hey, I'm talking to you, where is your mind y/n", as your eyes flutter and instantly you focus on his being.
"Oh, Joon, I'm sorry.... yea maybe I'd take an off from work, today."
"Hey, are you okay?"
"Yea, yea, I'm fine," you nod. "Just drop him today, if that's okay."
"This is what I came for. don't worry." he pauses, "I'm leaving to drop Hyeon to school, okay?" He traces your cheeks with his thumb and nods. "Are you sure, you're fine?"
"Yes 100%." you nod.
He places a gentle kiss on your forehead, a glow of warmth at the junction of your skin, under his touch. he nods, as he parades back to the couch.
"Come on Hyeon, will talk on our way. It's getting late"
"But Joonie your tea and, Hyeon's ramen," you stroll out of the kitchen and hand Hyeon his bento box.
"I'll be back y/n, don't worry about the kid we'll get something on our way!!!" He stretches out his hand towards Hyeon, as he holds his and the boys parade out of the apartment.
You plop down on the couch, and you hear a whisper from your right - what the hell was that y/n, oh my god. What Hyeon will think of you two, no no no.
Then the voice from your left utters - so what Hyeon too want him as someone more than a friend, maybe father.
Yea fair enough.
The voice from your right - do you too want him as Hyeon's father.
Then the voice from your left - Nah, not only as Hyeon's father!
Oh god, shut up!!!
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"Joon left his bag here, probably because he's coming back." You, in a tick, remember about the novel you gave him last week, as he said he'll return in 2 days, and as said you two are meeting after a long five days, so you assume he presumably has read it. You lean closer to the bag and pick it up. You open it, searching for your book.
But you find something - more - interesting, which you thought you won't ever find it. It's the same eight years old diary which he used to hide from you, which you, one of those fine days found, not found - honestly, got your hands on, and you were just a second ago that he caught you and took rkive into his possession. It's still the same, just a little scratch on the borders, and you take a sharp intake of breath, it smells like him does he keep it with him, ever?
It's a white diary with dark blue on the south of it, with rkive written in black bold characters just on the top of the blue border.
You open it, the itchiness in your hands to open it right away and read all 500 pages in a shot, you jump over to the last page... He still writes, pages are blank at the end of it. Calm down - the voice inside of your head yells at you, with wide eyes.
Yes, she's right you need to calm your nerves babe, you rise from the couch and make your way to your room. But you halt in the between, catch a glimpse of the diary in your hand... It's wrong to read someone's secret journal.
The voice from your left howls into your ear - it's okay he's not someone for you.
And the voice from your right mumbles into your ear - what if it was your diary in someone's hand?
You pause and veer around to place it back in its place. But you hear a creaking sound of your apartment door, rather than keeping it back into his bag, just after you catch a glimpse of Joon, closing the door behind him, you whirl around - hot foot, and like hell for leather, you strut into your room, you bury the diary under your pillow and parade back to the living room.
"What happened, why are your top pale", he moves closer to you and traces your lips with the bend of his index, his eyes filled with desire are on your lips, he leans down, closer to you, but halts looking back into your eyes, as he shuts his eyes for a second and when he opens, the emotions you saw barely a second ago, faints.
He harrumphs, running his fingers through your hair, eyes not leaving you... But then he traces your lips with the back of his thumb, as he takes the tendrils of your hair around your lips and gently tugs them behind your ear. You shut your eyes, your heart thumping at his touch and a low moan slips your mouth, you angle your head to your left. His eyes land on your exposed neck and he a groan leaves his lips.
He harrumphs again taking a step back from you, "oh, office", eyes everywhere but you.
"Oh, yeah, uh-- I'm not going."
"Are you okay? I mean if you want I can stay with yo--"
"No, I mean I do want you to stay here, with me but you should really go to the office", you nod, a faint smile on your lips, " you should go Joon... I'm fine, if possible do visit again before going to your place."
"Yea I'll. And don't worry about Hyeon... I'll pick him up ok", he places his palm on your cheeks as you nod.
He gives you your favourite, dimpled smile.
And he leaves.
You make your way to your room, plop down on your bed take out his diary to read. It smells homey - the diary smells like cinnamon - like him. Finally, you're diving into his diary. "It's wrong I know but still I want to read it, sorry Joon but if you hadn't snatched it from my hand then possibly I wouldn't be doing this." You puff out a breath.
You open it, and the first page says... "You should not read someone's diary and if you're, then give it back to me and if I'm not there wait for me, I'll presumably come back to find it. Thank you."
You laugh uproariously, actually, you shriek with laughter, "Sorry Joonie I didn't tumble under your trap".
You flick to the next page, "Honestly it's wrong if you're still reading, but if you decide to stick on reading it till the last, then let me tell you something- one -- you can not tell anything to her. Two -- it's going to be exhausting because it's BORING. Thank you".
"WHAT IS THERE IN THIS? now, the chances of me not reading it are zero, Joonie, and blame yourself for this, THANK YOU," you yell.
You turn to the next page, "it's something I never really shared with anyone in my life and maybe will share it in the future with her someday(04.15.2014). Change in plan maybe it'll be just between me and this diary, but I hope to tell her someday okay but genuinely speaking I won't(11.05.2014)."
"Why did he cut that line? 11.05.2014 the day Jace proposed to me!! But what else happened that day, I remember he was with me and was fine too."
P 1: I never imagined writing a diary out of nowhere, but there's a reason why am I writing this.
So, it was my first day at the uni, I saw someone, though I don't know her name, she's the reason I am holding a pen in hand.
"He never spoke to me about someone, and why he didn't wish to let me know?"
P 5: I saw her today, again, she was sitting in the last seat at the corner of the lecture room. I couldn't take my eyes off her. She looked lovely in beige, I really wanted to confess to her, how pretty that colour looks on her, but she's too shy and I couldn't tell her.
A scowl takes its place on your face like a permanent resident. And your heart is thumping now, at his notes.
P 11: I saw her today, she has the most joyful and adorable smile. I was mad about something which right now I don't remember, and she's to blame for that, it's her gorgeous smile.
You flick through the next few pages, and you couldn't wait to know the name of the person he's been writing to, since day 1 of his uni.
P 57: I guess, I like her. She was gazing at me, but when I saw her, she swivelled her head away. Does she feel the same? But the negative point - is we both don't know the names of each other. But I think she knows mine. That day in class, the professor called out my name, so presumably, she knows.
You close the diary, anxiety is eating you up. "He literally wrote every fucking day about that girl."
Then the voice from your left interrupt - read it, maybe, you'll find the girl's name.
You open the diary again.
P 101: 07.24.2014, I'll remember forever more, my heart never jumped like today, and my hands, are still as warm as a hot spring. no... not running a fever.
She just came, more like blew in unexpectedly, I was reading something which all the appreciation goes to her as I can't remember anything, I'm confident.
I asked her to walk with me to the library and on our way, we chatted like we already knew each other, and got wind of the fact that she too is from my hometown.
It felt surreal beside her, never felt like this before, and honestly do not know what it is but maybe this is what I was waiting for my whole life. Don't want to sound sugary but she's the one I want to roll over to in the middle of the night and wake up next to her diurnal. We didn't talk much but I'm clear.
I swear I have never been so sure about something or someone in my entire life
And yes finally got to know her name, y/n, with bright sapphire blue eyes.
You shut the diary with a loud thump, and bring it close to your heart as you shut your burning eyes, a warm tear escapes your eyes. Stupid idiot nerd what not, he deserves every single... Oh, Joonie why didn't you let me know? You open your eyes wiping away your tear with the back of your hand, and you open the book again.
P 130: We just met a few months ago, but feels like we know each other, for a long time. I wish to stay by her side for a lifetime. A smile tingles upon my lips, at the thought of our friendship.
P 139: when my phone's screen lights up with her name, so does my heart and my eyes like sun rays on my face, bestowing nothing but joy.
P 148: I didn't know the meaning of happiness until I met her, her smile warms my soul like a sun in the winter mornings, like a warm blanket on a cold night. Until I saw her and now I'm unable to find a difference.
P 163: today we both visited the library.
I saw a girl over there, sitting in the corner while reading a book. It was raining like heavily, and the content smile on her face was like she finally feels at home, and safe.
I guess y/n, must be my library, my halt from meandering outside in the rain. The home I've been looking for forevermore is beside me.
"I dared myself to read this, if I didn't maybe I wouldn't get the heed of not only his but my feelings too. He sure is dumb, but I'm not. He sure took years and maybe will take forever to let it out, I won't and I can't. But before that, I need to know what he feels about me now."
P 178: we went to the cafe today, and she looked pretty in that beige dress.
I have been praying for her, for what feels like forever!!
P 196: Everyone told me I deserve better, it was okay for everyone else to say. But she too said it, she murmured into my ear, when we were in class, that I deserve better and Ara is fine. The funny thing is I don't even know who Ara is! I know, I deserve better, but I don't want better. I want her.
P 204: Oh, now I feel there's no need to even write ever again in this diary. She was the light in my dark life. She who was the sun to my winter mornings is now with someone else, yes she deserves better. It's my mistake I should have confessed.
P 205: writing after 3 years, just to keep this memory between the pages. She told me she was pregnant, and I'm more than happy.
P 263: what is tougher than a human heart, which shatters over and over and regardless of pain still lives. I'm the evidence. He left her yet her heart yearns for him.
P 278: Today we visited the doctor for her routine check-up. She said she isn't willing to have this baby and honestly it broke me to pieces. I wish I could tell her how much I love her and want not only her but her baby too. I wish to love them till my last breath.
Why I overlooked, his affection. How can I be so stupid?
You recall your memories, of when you were pregnant.
"I'm just a call away y/n, can call me at 3 in the morning I'll be there, please do not stress over things that weren't meant to be."
Just one call of yours used to shake him up. You two visited the doctor together even though you told him to stay off, pushed him away because it was your problem you wanted to deal with it alone, yet he never left your side.
"I'm not leaving, I can't see you like this, alone at this deserted apartment, where you two lived.... No y/n you're coming with me, I have a spare room at my place. I'll be content seeing you safe next to me."
"Joon I'm okay, really, I can stay he--"
"No, you're coming with me."
Even stayed up with you for nights, didn't let you attend the classes, wrote not only his but your notes too, and fought for you when you weren't there.
Took proper care, he even memorized your meds on the tongue and learned the dates of your routine check-ups, fruits, soups, juice every other basic need of yours, was his command. He did everything that a father should do, which perhaps is the only justification for why he loves Hyeon so much.
Nights when you cried over your ex, yet lied to him, that this is only a hormonal reaction but a little did you know about him, but he sure knew every reason behind your genuine or phoney smile, every single reason behind your single teardrop.
"Listen y/n, I know I have been reciting this for months but here again I'm going to say, this time not for you for ours. I -- I mean you-- your baby. I-- I want you to be strong y/n. You're going to be a mother but crying like an infant." He wipes away your tears whilst leaning to kiss you but halts and ruffles your hair.
"Heyyy Joonie", you hit his chest.
"No, but seriously, do you want me to kill that nerd? See y/n I can!! and I'll if you allow me. I'm very much y'know skilled, uh competent, even proficient," he sums his abilities on his fingers, and you giggle at his naivety, "not lying I hold a black belt in Judo and earned one in Karate too, he doesn't stand a chance in front of your best friend", he dusts off his palms as of stroking off dirt and crosses his arms around his chest.
"So dramatically proud you are, Joon", Now you're laughing uproariously, in reflex your hand finds its purchase on your middle, and he instantly notices.
"Hey, are you okay?" he immediately holds you, his eyebrows furrowed at your hand's gesture, but you're still laughing.
"Joon, I'm really fine, you should have actually played Mr. bean. where were you back then?"
"Was probably waiting for your landing."
"I love your face glowing with that peaceful smile y/n, do not cry over some nerd. I'm here with you today, what if someday, I'm not there beside you, to wipe away your tears, which merely shed but if they do, the sole reason is men." You hit his shoulder, "stop it Joonie we're friends till the end, do you get it you asshole? don't you dare say that shit again."
But he wants his last sleep beside you, his last breath beside you. His ever so firsts to be by your side and ever so lasts by your side, this is what he feels for you.
"And do you know, your taste in men is horrible, I don't trust you in that process?"
"I HATE YOU KIM NAMJOON."
You look down with teary eyes, p 278, and you skip to p380.
P 380: she deserves every star in her life, to glitter for her the way my eyes sparkle for her.
P 485: feels like we are two stars floating in the universe, yet light years away. She sure is with me but feels like those two stars, babbling on either side of the moon, neither I can reach where she is, nor she can where I'm. But, my heart cherishes every second, every moment, every single breath with her. I wish stars could collide someday, and we'll meet eventually.
P 525: a week to go, I told her it's a boy, and she said no.
P 540: It's a boy, we named him Hyeon. Honestly, I don't think I'll ever love my kid as I love Hyeon. And he has Sapphire eyes like his mom, another reason to love him even more.
You heard the clanking sound coming from your living room you shut the diary, wipe away your tears and hide it under your pillow.
You strut out of your room, "Oh you guys are back." And in the twinkling of an eye, you felt your cheeks warm, when Namjoon's eyes meet yours, like all the blood rushing up to your cheeks.
Perhaps your friends were always right about you two - that you two would make an aesthetically pleasing couple.
"Hey, come here,"
Heat pooling in the pits of your stomach, you sure did feel all of this before, but to be precise you're catching every reaction of your body, now. Those three words are just not mere words, they did something to you, the warmth between your legs is the evidence of those three words. You are eyeing him, hungrily, stop drooling you fucking idiot.
"Mom do you remember, it's Joonie's birthday tomorrow."
"No, Hyeon your mom won't--"
"Yes baby I know, there's something for him," you look at him, "will you stay with us today?"
He looks into your eyes, the glow in them, which he purely saw for Hyeon, is it for him? his brows knit together, "yes anything for you," he pauses eyes wandering across your face, "you two."
Your kid is smarter than you, when you secretly told him you need to prepare a cake for his birthday, he told you his plan, which is why they both went out, and here you're placing the cake inside the refrigerator.
You know he won't take a step forward, it's only you who could do such bravery. It's his birthday and a new start to every perfect day.
You make your way to your room to find a perfect dress for his birthday night.
You're wearing a black cold shoulder ruched flounce sleeve bodycon dress, the silk fabric just ends at the curve of your cheeks, and you complete it with a black thong and yes no bra today. It's normal for you to doll yourself up, whenever you three move out, for dinner, parties, or friends' weddings. But today is, no normal day because you have never spread out as far as to shave, lest yknow.
Brushing out your tangles, your makeup is tastefully done as you're touching up some lipstick - let aside hungrily awaiting for him to smear it, spraying some perfume all over your body, you bolt out of your room. looking around your living room, to be precise it seemed hideous barely an hour ago and now it's looking nothing but cheerful as you beautifully decked out your place with balloons on the floor which you assure Hyeon would low-key love more than your birthday boy, with a cake on the table in the middle of the living room.
There's a rattling sound of keys behind the door, and you know they're here. The front door opens, and you find Hyeon and Namjoon, standing at the door, Hyeon couldn't help but claps at the decor his eyes twinkles at the sight of balloons all over the floor, as he lets go of Joon's hand and take off to pick the balloons, but what you take a gander at Namjoon, not saying much but you can tell, he could cry any moment, he's eyeing the whole room, then looking at you, your heart is beating at light year.
He makes his way to you, "there are still three hours left for my birthday", his eyes wander across your body, and you silently praise the lord for the dress you found in your closet.
"Yes, I know Joonie, but Hyeon is really excited about your birthday, and in an hour you'll find him out for the count," you both laugh, looking at him playing with the balloons, his chuckle is canorous to your ear filling your apartment.
"Fair enough", he paused, "by the way you-- you're looking gorgeous y/n"
Three cheers finally my man noticed, "oh, thank you, I thought you won't ever notice."
"you already think so low of me, y/n," you see a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.
"if so, what else do you like about me then," without a shadow of a doubt, you take a step towards him, as he too leans closer to you.
"Mom, I love the cake, it's looking yummy." You look at your baby.
"Oh, did you forget about Hyeon", he grins, teasing you to the core.
"Isn't it obvious today?" you take a step back.
"y/n are you flirting." he takes a gander at you and smiles mischievously.
"No", you stand tiptoe and lean closer to his ear, and warmly without qualms, "wanna be your sugar baby", you puff out a warm breath that gives chills down to his south as his tool twitches, "this is what I call is - flirting, Mr Kim, and I strongly believe you should take some classes, yknow? from me!!" you take a step back and make your way to your kid, who could sleep any moment.
you meet Namjoon's eyes, as he shares a knowing look, that he should probably slice the cake, "Hey my baby angel, would you cut the cake with me", he asks Hyeon.
"yess" Hyeon cheers excitedly.
You three celebrated his birthday like you have been doing for years now.
As you foretold, Hyeon is now in deep slumber. you pick him up, "uh-- you can sleep in my room--"
"No, I'll sleep with him today if that's okay with you?"
"Yea sure"
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it's 1am, and you're tossing and turning, unable to sleep at the thought of Namjoon sleeping under the same roof, just a few meters away.
You are wearing a red drop shoulder belted satin lounge robe, with a matching thong and no bra. Craving for his touch makes you nothing but more frustrated, and your mouth dry.
you pick up your mobile, this should end today, he's an epitome of shyness, you want him deep yet harsh inside you, and you're seconds away to strut out of your room and dashing inside the room next to yours, and straddling his saddle, but you can't he's sleeping with your baby. So, you just text him to check if he's still awake.
you 1:10 am- I have a little secret, which I think, you should know.
Joon 1:11 am- you still awake? And what secret?
You 1:13 am- yes, and looks like we're awake for the same reason. And about that secret. Check your bag perhaps you should be missing something.
Joon 1:20 am- did you swipe away my diary from the bag, when I was away from home? Don't you dare read it!!!
You 1:22 am- over and done with it.
Joon 1:26 am- I'm sorry it was all in the past y/n, I promise it's nothing like that now.
You 1:27 am- SAD. Perhaps I'm alone in this.
Joon 1:29 am- you too?
Joon 1:29 am- I mean you too feel what I feel for you?
Joon 1:30 am- you don't understand how much I feel for you y/n, if you're playing the clown then don't.
You 1:34 am- save for I'm not, and there's something I low-key want you to know beforehand if you do feel for me. Joon there's nothing behind the scenes, I, yknow I cry often even if Hyeon gets some silly injury, though he laughs, and I'm the one who cries. I cry over things that have hurt me in the past, or things I'm so in love with. Yknow I'm afraid of being left, afraid of not being good enough, a good mother, a good daughter, and a good friend. I can actually count millions of things that I feel hostility toward myself. If we're going to be a thing in the future you should know that even if you'll tell me you love me countless times, I'll still be afraid of you leaving me. Jace broke my heart into bits, just don't blame yourself.
There's a knock at your bedroom door, he slides it open when he finds it unlocked. He peeps inside before entering, entering your room he looks at you, "y/n when will you, stop thinking so low about yourself", his eyes hungrily wander across your body, and you find him in waist shorts.
His eyes travel to your hardened peaks covered with red satiny material which he wants to slip you out from it, he harrumphs distracting himself, but something catches his eyes, his eyes travel along your smooth long legs on display and halt at your sheer red thong.
"I uh--" he looks away from your figure, eyes on the floor filled with serene moonlight, "y/n, nobody's perfect, even I'm not, you know every deep and dark arcane of my past..... I'm here to tell you that I don't care, I fell in love with you, not with your perfection. Since I fell in love, since then I love every crack in your skin and all your freckles. I didn't meet someone like you," he looks back at you, as he walks closer to you and settles beside you taking a hold of your hand in his, he places a soft kiss on the back of your hand.
"I'm grateful," you take out the diary, "that I found this," and hand him.
"Oh thank you I thought I won't get it back.... and did you just say found? Really?"
"Yaahhhh!!"
"I probably wasn't going to because of the perfumes it holds of its owner, but seems like my bed would smell like him from now on, so it's fair enough to return it, no?"
He gives you his coy smile as he nods, "rather my bed will smell like you because I won't let you and our kid stay here," he parks a soft kiss on your forehead, "and what are we going to tell Hyeon?"
"That we accepted his proposal and now he'll call his best friend his dad!" You chuckle.
In a shot, he looks at you, a puzzled look blanketing his face, "I still can't believe this, that all these years you too felt the way I feel for you, why you didn't you --"
"Same question I'm hurling on you," your eyes are hungrily tracing his lips as you tightly grip the sheet under your fist and he notices you.
Without losing away any minute he leans close to you, smacking his lips on yours as your breath hitches at his sudden whirlwind of ardor, as his strong arms wrap around your waist, holding you tightly against his body and in a trice, he straddles you on his lap whilst kissing you breathlessly. your moan melts away into his mouth. you clung onto him, arms tangled around his neck.
His hand at the small of your back roughly snakes under your red satin robe. he slides his hand inside your thong, your skin flush at his touch, digging his nails into your cheeks for support. he's gently kissing you without letting you go but oh so rough on your body. sucking his lower lip, as you slowly tug his lip between your teeth leaning back to bruise it. you both moved apart breathlessly panting, hungrily looking into each other's eyes, travelling back to lips. you fiddle with the hem of his shirt, hiking it up, he's smirking looking at your eyes hungrily savouring his exposed chest.
you feel him grow under your heated core. he tugs at your robe belt as it slips down and pools around your butt. his sinful eyes filled with lust darkly eye your bosoms, he tenderly gropes your breast, he cranes his neck a little, enveloping your buds between his lips flicking it with his tongue as he takes it between his teeth, playfully biting it, your grip on his shoulder tightens dipping nails into his skin.
moans escaping from your lips making him groan, his warm breath hitting your bosom sending tingles on your skin, he places his palm gently over your lips and hushes you, "if you don't want to wake up our kid," retracting his hand from your lips, our kid that word did something like something incomplete is now perfectly complete.
He gently hurls you on the bed, you want to feel his body, you want him to kiss every inch of your skin, bite you and bruise you, your drunk eyes watch him, pulling down his waist shorts, freeing his shaft. He grabs his shaft using his large hands, and jerks himself for few times indirectly letting you know to get ready, low groans peep from his lips.
You gape at your man seductively, how he jerks his member in his hand, growing harder in his hold your stomach turns at his hard length. Fucking his fist in a pace, eyes never leaving you as he smirks at you drooling over his hard shaft. The urge inside you to take him in deep inside you, and fuking him much - very much better.
As he shoves his free hand between your legs, he spreads them apart.
He parks himself between your legs. His eyes on your bruised bosom with hickeys only make him want to bruise them more. He hooks his finger to the waistband of your thong and slides it down, your breath hitches at your exposed body in front of him as you close your eyes in self-consciousness, he gasps at his sight and leans down taking a lungful of your flavour as he parks a wet kiss on your heated - bare - wet pussy "beautiful" he murmurs.
His hands travel from your knees slowly to your lips, as he traces your delicate skin and dips his thumb in your slick, a low moan escapes your lips before you bite them to melt them inside your lips, "Joon, I can't wait, fuck me, baby", your voice seems to lower, sounding more like smooth whiskey and he knows you're only trying to make it hard for him.
"You want me to fuck your tight pussy, raw, that desperate huh!!"He parts your slit, as he flicks his tongue between your sensitive lips. "Don't you know how much I waited for you," without wasting another second he grabs your knees stretching them out for him, as your pussy slit opens. He grabs his hard cock, rubbing it.
Waiting for him to fuck you, you grab one of your bosoms and knead it desperately in your hold. He bends a little as his hands slide under your ass and grab them angling you for his cock, he slowly buries his shaft and your eyebrow furrow as he moves deeper and deeper inside you and halts drinking in your expressions.
He slightly pulls back then stops, and again pulls back eyeing you, "if you want, we can stop it right now baby", he leans down closing the distance between you two, his hands on either side of your head, and place a soft kiss on your forehead, you instantly open your eyes looking at him, his lips just an inch away from your lips, "no, I want you right now.... No more distance between us Joon," your hands cupping his nape to draw him closer as you park a soft peck on his lips.
He digs his fingers back into your flash, and retreats, slamming his dick back into you, as you whimper in pain, a tear escapes from your eyes. Glitters of sweat on his forehead under the dim light of your bedroom, doing no justice to how gorgeous your man is. Not only on his forehead but his chest too, deliciously sweaty. Seeing him on your top, your pussy clenches around his hard length, "baby", he groans dipping his head on the nape of your neck the warm breath breaking out goosebumps over your skin.
He doesn't stop now, his cock throbbing to match the crazy throbbing of his heart, arching your back you dip your head back into the pillow, "fuck Joon, shit.... Yeahhh babyy", you moan out loud, as he quickly kisses you nipping your lips to bite your moans.
He leans back, "baby, Hyeon wi--"
"Fuck me harder Joon," you murmur, breathlessly.
Without wasting any time, he's ramming his dick into your tight pussy again, as you grip the sheets under your skin.
The way he's making you feel, you never felt like this ever in your life though it's the first time after Jace, he too never made you as incredible as him. The way his hips are in a rhythm against yours, the pleasure making you clench around his length.
"I wanted you for so long y/n," he groans, pounding into you. "You are mine y/n, and I belong to you," your walls only clench tighter around his shaft, enveloping perfectly around his thick length.
"Yes, Joon, only you... Us baby" your breath hitches, looking at his dark eyes, you're close and you know he too is.
He groans as his knees buckle, striving to keep up the merciless rhythm, "should have confessed, before him but now I won't waste any minute", his words are only causing your walls to spasm and contract, fire in your abdomen with his words making your way to your peak.
"You can do this baby", he coos tracing your cheeks with his thumb. He could feel you close.
As your climax is near, your hips stutter against him, desperately, creating the heat and friction for the feelings and bringing you closer to your peak. You're writhing under him when you hit your orgasm, you're so wet that his thick shaft is easily sliding in and out of your pussy.
He's pushing into you inch by inch, massaging your walls slowly. He covers your mouth to hush you before emptying inside you, as your clenching walls only cause him to come inside you and fill you up to the rim.
He softens inside you, as he dips his head into the crook of your neck.
"happy birthday baby, I love you", you kiss his earlobe, panting heavily.
"I love you more..... the best birthday," he pulls back, looking deeply into your eyes, "can"t wait to see the joy in our baby's eyes".
you both chuckle, and there's a knock on the door, "oh, shit" you murmur.
Namjoon only chuckles, "seems like this is the time".
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© 𝐥𝟎𝐦𝐥𝐣𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟐 - 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲/ 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭/ 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞. All rights reserved.
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bangtanficsforyou · 1 year
Text
They Reject You (hyung line)- part three
Pairing: BTS x Reader
Word Count: 8K
Warnings: swear words here and there, a little kissing scene.
Jin
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"I told you, you should have done this sooner."
"Hey, if I had known this was gonna be this much fun, I would have."
"I did tell you, you just didn't believe me."
You huff. "Okay fine! You were right all along and I was wrong. Happy?"
Blair chugs down another shot and winces at the bitter taste. "I'll be happy when you listen to my advice."
"Asking for too much, now. Aren't you?" 
"Cool then, mop over a boy for over a month again. Why don't you?" She retorts with no real bite, rather genuinely enjoying the glimpse of the old you back. 
A wave of sadness hits you when you're reminded about the said boy and you sigh. "He isn't just a boy, he's also my best friend."
Blair immediately regrets her words when she notices the look on your face. "I understand that you would need time but if I hadn't dragged you out today, you would have not made any efforts to move on for at least another six months."
You feel an instant urge to deny it but end up not protesting because you know how true her words are.
Moving on would have been easier if you knew the answer to this one question; how does one move on from their best friend? 
How do you forget the moments that made you fall for him? Moments when he was the only one you could confide in. When you two would spend hours talking on the phone about random things. When the two of you would sit on the balcony and judge every passerby. The inside jokes, the tears, the hugs, the words of comfort. How do you forget those and tell yourself to not feel the way you do?
And even if you manage to do so, will the two of you really ever get back to being as close as you once were? Won't that result in you falling for him all over again?
You take hold of another glass of shot when you realise that you were overthinking again. Today your plan is to get enough alcohol in your system so that you do not overthink the little things.
"What is he doing here?" Blair whispers to herself.
"Who?" Your tipsy mind gets distracted by that and you start checking left and right to catch sight of the person she's talking about.
"Jin."
Your eyes widen in shock and you freeze in your seat. "Jin is here?"
Blair nods, feeling the same amount of disbelief as you. 
"Should I hide in the washroom?" You whisper shout. You don't even know why you feel the need to run when you and Jin have had a civil conversation just a few weeks ago. All you know is that you do not wish to face Jin. You are not ready to face the stir of emotions Jin would inevitably ignite.
"Fun fact, his eyes are fixed here," she quips with a mix of annoyance and amusement. "I'm also pretty sure, he's aware that we are talking about him."
You shut your eyes and groan audibly. "Fuck. Just what I needed."
"Fun fact part two, he's coming here."
As soon as she completes her sentence, you hear your name being called. 
"Y/N."
"Jin!" You put on a fake smile and try to seem as excited as you possibly can. You won't allow your spirits to dwindle so easily. "What are you doing here?"
Jin thinks for a brief moment if he should lie and say that it was a coincidence but then decides otherwise. "Well, Jimin texted me that you're here and I had something important to tell you, so,"
"Well, I don't feel stalked at all." You grin sarcastically.
Jin smiles. That's the first stage of you getting drunk; getting sassy. "Well, I'd be hurt if you were to call me a creepy stalker."
He says it with such a soft look of adoration that Blair has to clear her throat loudly to announce her presence.
"I'm Blair," she introduces herself.
Jin understands that Blair's words are directed at him and he politely puts his hand forward in greeting. "I'm Jin."
Blair nods and shakes his hand. From the look in his eyes, she already has an idea about why Jin might be here and if what she's assuming is right, she should really get out of here as quickly as she can. 
"Well, it's good that you are here, I have somewhere to go. Take care of her," as soon as the words are out of her mouth, Blair quickly leaves the spot knowing very well how you are going to react. 
You gasp dramatically, concerned about how quickly she changed her colours. What a traitor you have as a friend. 
Jin sits on the stool next to you before you can recover from your shock. "So what have you been drinking?" 
You look at Jin with your mouth parted open, still having a hard time understanding what just happened in the span of a few minutes. How you came to the club to temporarily forget about Jin and how now, you are sitting right next to him.
You blink a few times to let the shock subside and with Blair gone, you feel your adrenaline rush fade away.
"I don't know, Blair ordered it," you shrug.
He hums, fiddling with his fingers on the table. "Any special reason you are out here clubbing on a weekday?"
"Nah," you say just as casually as you had uttered the previous sentence. Maybe it's because of the alcohol but you don't find yourself feeling anxious in his presence. There's only a very little amount of unease but that's only because you don't want to get too into your emotions. 
Jin watches you closely. You don't look drunk, just tipsy. And thankfully, for him, you don't seem to be too bothered by the fact that he just invited himself. 
Someone might say that he's being overdramatic coming all the way to say something he could have said any other time. But when Jimin texted him that you're here, his thoughts started getting a little wild.
What if you were in a club trying to get over him? What if some hot bartender catches your eye? What if your friends are telling you that you deserve better? (The last one, Jin agrees with) 
It's fair to say that those thoughts made him rush to this place so that he can finally say what he figured out in the last few days.
Jin inhales deeply and asks the million-dollar question. "Do you– do you still love me?"
You choke on your drink and a series of coughs that follows. Jin immediately asks for a glass of water and helps you calm down.
"What kind of a question is that?" You ask in a raspy voice when your coughing fit subsides.
"A very important one?" He asks you back, his brows now furrowing in nervousness.
You mimic his expression, only that your brows furrow in annoyance. "What kind of people do you hang around with to get the idea that people's feelings change in the span of a few weeks?"
Ah, yes. You're sassy right now.
Jin's features soften and he looks at you with a look of disbelief.
"So you still love me?" He asks in a whisper, too scared to say the words out loud.
"Unfortunately, yes." You nod.
Before you can take hold of another glass of shot, Jin's hand comes to rest on yours. You look at him in confusion, wondering what even is he up to.
"Well, I love you too," a wide smile breaks out on his face as if the thought of you is enough to make him happy.
This time, you choke on thin air. "Excuse me?!"
He takes your hand and brings it to his lips. "I'm sorry it took me so long, but now that I know, I just want to be with you forever."
Your eyes follow his movements and you find your breathing getting shallower and only one question coming to your mind; Is this really happening?
Jin notices the way you seem to have run out of words. It makes him want to smirk in satisfaction but at the same time wrap you in his arms. Had he known you would react this way, he would have done this way sooner. But he was busy being a fool back then. 
You were always by his side, through the worst and the best. You were his only constant in the world of variables. He always felt so at home with you, that the thought of changing the dynamics never occurred to him. You two were perfect being best friends and he thought that was how it was going to be forever. 
But then he's also a hopeless romantic at heart. He has always dreamt of his perfect partner and what life with them will look like. He has also had his fair share of crushes and relationships but never did the faceless person from his dreams appear to be one of them.
Now that he thinks of it, he knows why that was the case. 
"You don't have to say anything," Jin adds, not wanting you to stress about it. "I just needed you to know that I love you and I'm sorry for realising it so late."
Now as sassy as you are when you're tipsy, you're just as bold. Without thinking any further, you lean forward and kiss him. It's odd and something your sober self would never do, but right now you're definitely not sober. Plus, you can leave the overthinking for her when she wakes up tomorrow. At the moment, the only thing that matters to you is that the man you so irrevocably love, loves you back. 
Jin freezes and his eyes widen in shock when he feels your lips on his. 
He knows you are only doing this because you are drunk. He knows that had you been sober you would have asked a million questions by now. He also, knows that he shouldn't be kissing you back but when he hears a whine of complaint from you at his lack of enthusiasm, his resolve crumbles. 
He gently puts his palms on your cheeks and kisses you back passionately. The warm sensation of your lips on his makes his head spin and he wonders how on earth has he gone so long without doing this. 
However, he pulls back when he feels your tongue against his lips. "We should get you home."
You shake your head like a stubborn child. "No, I don't want to go."
Gosh, he wants to kiss that pout away. How did he not realise that it's been you all along? 
Blair watches from a distance as you throw your hands in the air like a small child and a smile makes its way onto her lips. Guess, she won't have to worry about you moping anymore. 
Yoongi
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As soon as the doorbell rings, you freeze. That must be Yoongi.
You have been looking forward to this moment and at the same time have been dreading it. But it's one of those things that you know just needs to be done.
You haven't had a single moment of peace since yesterday. It's tiring honestly. You don't know how the conversation with Yoongi will go, but you at least hope that after this you won't feel this heavy weight on your shoulders and will be able to have a good night's sleep. 
With that hope, you open the door and you're greeted by Yoongi in a purple suit and the sight itself makes you swallow. You really wish you could marry him.
Shaking the thought away, you welcome him in and ask him to take a seat on the couch. 
"Would you like some tea or coffee?" You query
Yoongi shakes his head. "Nothing really. I had coffee before leaving."
Well then, guess you won't get the time to figure out how to start the conversation. 
You take a seat on the opposite couch and play with the rings that adorn your fingers. "I called you at my place because there's something important we need to talk about and I thought that a public place isn't suitable for the conversation."
Yoongi nods. He won't lie but he shares the same view. It's difficult for him as it is to talk about his emotions. He doesn't want to imagine having to explain why he came across as nonchalant to your confession and how he respects your honesty, more than he could show.
However, nothing could have prepared him for the next words that leave your mouth.
"I think we should not go forward with this marriage."
Your words cause Yoongi to choke. Out of all the things he wanted to discuss with you, he never saw this coming. "What?!"
Seeing Yoongi react like this catches you slightly off guard. Usually, he always has his emotions in check and is unreadable. It always makes you feel like he's out of reach. However, right now, you can read him like a book, which oddly enough gives you a sense of satisfaction.
"We should not get married." You repeat your words and wait for Yoongi's shocked features to subside. 
Yoongi looks at you and notices how determined you seem, as if you have thought about this long and hard and only then have you come to this decision. The thought that there's probably no changing your mind, scares him. 
Clearing his throat, he tries to sound as calm as he can. "Why though?"
Now it's your turn to be surprised. Isn't it obvious why the two of you shouldn't get married?
Chewing on your lower lip, you ponder how you should frame your words. After a brief pause, you start with a gentle tone that somehow comes out sad.
"When two people love each other, they get married. Not because they have to, but because they want to. It's like this celebration of their love, where they declare to the world that they are each other's for the rest of eternity. But you see, that's the most important factor–" you look up to lock eyes with Yoongi. "–love."
Love. 
It's a word Yoongi has hardly ever given thought to.
Yoongi knows what it feels like to be loved. His parents love him, his sister loves him, his friends love him, his dog loves him. He also knows what it is like to love someone because he loves these people just as much. But love in the way you describe it? Yoongi has never felt that.  
From a very young age, he has known that it will be his parents who will choose who he is to marry. Which is why he has never felt or given much thought to what it is like to want to spend his whole life with someone. 
But clearly, you have. 
It looks like you know exactly what you want and he won't lie, he envies that. He wonders what it's like for someone to know what they want so clearly that they won't settle for anything less. 
"We can always fall in love," he says with a small shrug as if it's not a big deal. The gesture makes his words look insincere and although it's true that he doesn't realise the intensity of his words, it's also true that he had shrugged simply to hide how uncomfortable he feels. He has never had to talk to someone about falling in love with them. 
You chuckle humorlessly. "I don't think you realise what falling in love really means." 
Yoongi wants to feel offended by your words but he can't. Because you're right. "Well, it's never too late to learn."
You can tell that Yoongi is being genuine. But you don't know how you should perceive his genuineness. Should you feel flattered that he's willing to give your marriage a try? Or should you feel sad that he has to try falling in love with someone? 
You don't know what the answer to that would be but the thought of him falling for you because he had no other choice, does not sit right with you. Even if you two were happy one day, maybe somewhere at the corner of your mind will be the thought that he fell for you only because you two were forced into this marriage. 
"I don't think it will work, Yoongi," you say with a sigh.
Yoongi's brow furrows in frustration. Why are you complicating things like this? "I don't understand what exactly is the problem?"
Here goes nothing.
"We have been on ten dates so far and on none of those occasions, did you ever seem interested in getting to know me on a deeper level. You are a closed book and I respect that it might not be easy for everyone to be open, but what counts is the effort. We have never had an open conversation or proper communication." Your voice comes out even, not a speck of anger or disappointment lacing your words. It sounds like you're only reading out observations from a science experiment. "Why do you think that is? If you were to ask me, and I might be wrong, but it's because you were never interested in the prospect of marrying."
"Had I not asked to break the marriage, things would have been pretty much the same and I would have never voiced these thoughts. You would have made no effort and I would have been trying way too hard to fulfil my wishes. Don't you see how wrong that could go?" 
Yoongi remains speechless with his mouth parted. 
"It's not only that, though," a small smile appears on your lips. "When you believe in love as much as I do, you'd know that love is inevitable. Everyone deserves it, including you. And I hope that when you do fall in love, you get to walk with them with your head held high without worrying about the wife you had to marry to boost your business."
With each word that comes out of your mouth, you feel a weight being lifted off of your chest one by one. Last night, you stayed up with countless thoughts running through your head. Countless reasons and scenarios why this marriage won't work and would be painful for both of you. Especially you.
Yoongi takes a deep inhale and lets the silence linger. 
What else is even there to say? You have given this a whole lot of thinking while he has hardly ever thought about it. Which only goes on to prove your point and how different both of your views on marriage are. 
Indeed, he has never shown much effort towards establishing a connection between the both of you. There's no denying that, but he wishes he could tell you that it's not because he wasn't interested in forming one but rather that he does not know how to. 
He knows there's no point in clarifying that now though, it will only sound like he's making excuses. Hence, he settles for responding to you with the only sentence that he thinks is relevant. 
"We can't break this alliance."
"I know," you nod. "It won't be easy but I'm sure we both will come up with a way to convince our parents."
Yoongi huffs, sensing that you are underestimating his words. "Do you know that the deal has been signed?" 
Your eyes widen in shock and disbelief. "What?! H–When?" 
Your reaction is enough for Yoongi to know that you indeed, had no idea about the papers being finalised and signed. Your previous words make much sense to Yoongi now and why you thought that the two of you even had any other option but to get married to each other. 
"About a week ago," he replies, expression now turning sombre. "I got to know about it only a couple of days ago."
A week ago? That would be around the time you and Yoongi went on your last date where you had confessed to him your feelings. Was it around the same time that both of your doors to escape were closed? 
Panic shoots through your veins when the thought that there might be no way out, comes to your mind. No, no, no. There has to be some way. 
But is there really?
Yoongi's company is way bigger than your father's. If the two of you back down now, the deal will be cancelled but it will be your father's company that will suffer the most whereas Yoongi's will recover in a few days. It was one thing if the deal was not signed. No gains, no losses. But now, it would be no gain, only losses. 
How can you do that to your parents knowing how much stress it will cause them?
You can't.
"I don't have any other choice, do I?" Your voice comes out small, highly in contrast with how confidently you were speaking a few minutes ago. 
"I don't think we do," Yoongi sighs, a deep sadness looming over his chest at how dejected you look. "But if it makes you feel any better, we can make a deal."
An abrupt chuckle escapes your lips. "Another deal? Haven't we already had enough?"
"This deal gives you the choice to be free," he comments, noticing how a small hopeful glint appears in your eyes.
"How?" 
"Let's stay married for a year, if you still want an out after that, we will get divorced." 
Yoongi's words give you a pause. 
You can't say that the deal is ideal but it is better than nothing. It gives you the hope that the two of you won't be stuck in a loveless marriage. It also does not create the pressure of being happy with each other because that's the only option.
After thinking for a few moments, you realise that this indeed is what it has all come down to and you'll have to accept it whether you like it or not.
"What about the business deal?" You query, your brain jumping to the concerns of the after-effects of having a divorce.
"By that time, the majority of shares will be transferred to me, I'll take care of it so that there is minimal loss."
You nod and sit back, feeling exhausted from the emotional rollercoaster this conversation has been. You just wish things were simple. That you both could get married to people you were in love with. Or that you both were in love with each other. 
The thought makes you look at Yoongi. You can still feel the butterflies in your stomach but there's also this dread that tags along.  
Last night, you had considered every possible scenario, and each one of them convinced you why this marriage is not a good idea. But out of all those, there was one which stood out, one that scared you the most and was the most heartbreaking. 
The possibility of you falling in love with Yoongi but his response being the same as it was on your last date. You know that the pain you went through this time, would be nothing compared to the pain you would experience then.
You don't want that.
The thought scares you so much, that you make a promise to yourself to not let your guard down so that the situation never occurs. 
Hoseok 
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"You went a little too hard on us today," you say, breathless as you take a bottle of water and uncap it. 
Hoseok chuckles. "You say that after every class."
"Do I?" You ask with a small smile, knowing very well that you indeed do. But can you be blamed when Hoseok loses track of time when it comes to dancing and the only thing he focuses on is perfection?
He raises a brow as if asking you to stop pretending and you raise your arms in the air in mock surrender. 
He chuckles and shakes his head in amusement. "That's what I thought."
"Oh by the way," you say all excited. "I binge-watched little women during the weekend."
Hoseok's grin widens at the thought that you took the time to watch his recommended show. "Did you enjoy it?" 
A thoughtful look appears on your face. "I think it would have been better if the girls had more wins throughout but then I guess it wouldn't have been realistic."
Hoseok hums, understanding where you're coming from. That's an emotion he shares as well. While watching the show, he too wished that the girls didn't have to go through so many ups and downs.
"But you know what I liked?" You say with sparkling eyes. 
"What?" Hoseok asks, the gleam in your eyes doing something to his heart. 
"Choi Do-il's character!" You say with a small smirk on your lips.
Hoseok finds your behaviour amusing. "Liked him huh?"
"How can I not? He's so cool! He was so loyal to In-joo and he has such a sharp mind, made such tough decisions on the spot." You blabber. "I wish there was someone like him in real life, I'd fall for him in the blink of an eye."
"I wonder what Henry would have to say about that," he replies in a teasing tone, trying to pull your leg. But his smile fades when he sees that your excited expression has now turned sombre. 
You shake your head with a soft smile. "Well, we have broken up, so I don't think he would have anything in particular to say."
Hoseok hates that his first reaction is that of joy, which is soon followed by a feeling of guilt. He had convinced himself that he wasn't waiting for this particular day but now, his reaction clearly proves otherwise. 
For the time being, he puts his emotions aside and puts your feelings first.
"Do you want to talk about it?" 
You sigh. "There isn't anything to talk about. The relationship had run its course."
And that's the truth.
Things were pretty smooth at first, but when the honeymoon phase faded, somewhere down the line, both of you realised that you two weren't right for each other. 
The breakup wasn't painful for either of you and maybe that's what acceptance is supposed to be like. It was coming to this understanding that the both of you make great friends but there isn't much hope when it comes to something more than that. 
Hoseok chews on his lower lip and wonders what's the right thing to say. 
It has been six months since that day in the club and five months and three weeks since he realised that his feelings for you run deeper than he had initially thought. 
The first three weeks that followed after his realisation was not easy for him at all. He tried his best to be in denial but with time, he couldn't deny it anymore and he felt anger. Anger towards himself for having the audacity to accept that he has any form of romantic feelings for you after you had been so brave about yours and had put your heart on a plate only for him to be a complete dumb wit. Which was soon followed by the feeling of loss. He lost the opportunity when he had it and won't probably ever get it again. 
But after that, it started getting better. 
He accepted the fact that you have moved on with someone else and are happy with them. But that doesn't mean he did not get jealous every once in a while when he stumbled upon a picture of you and Henry on Instagram. That little spark of jealousy would serve as the reminder that somewhere deep down, he still wishes for you to be his. 
There have been times when he had thought about what he would do if someday, years later you and Henry were to break up. But never did he prepare himself for it. Plus, now, he finds it ridiculous that he had always thought that this would be an opportunity for him to correct his mistake when you could have very well removed any feelings for him from the very root. 
Before he can figure it out though, you sense the awkward silence and make an effort to break it. "I'm over it though, it does not bother me."
Hoseok nods softly, his thoughts still muddled. "How long has it been?"
"About a month."
Hoseok observes you closely from his peripheral. He notices how relaxed your features are and concludes that the topic of your breakup isn't necessarily a painful one for you. You also seem, pretty okay with the idea of the two of you having broken up, which makes him hope that you have moved on from Henry. And if in case you haven't, he will wait as long as it takes for you to let someone new in and he will do everything he possibly can to be that someone.
"This might be inappropriate but are you planning to return to the dating world?" Hoseok tries to look as casual as he can by pretending to arrange the CDs on the shelf.
It takes a few moments for you to think about the question before you can come up with an answer.
Are you looking for someone you can date? Not really. 
When you had downloaded Tinder all those months ago, it was simply so that you can find a distraction from Hoseok and move on. Fortunately, you found that and more in Henry. But now, that chapter is over and you don't find yourself actively looking for someone to be with.
"Not at the moment, no," you reply honestly. "Maybe a few months later, I'll reinstall Tinder," you laugh at the thought.
Hoseok hums, with his back facing you. "When you decide to reinstall the app, do tell me."
You don't think much of his words and innocently ask, "Why?" 
The whole of Hoseok's body heats up in anxiety and he starts putting the CDs on the shelf at a much high speed. "Because then I'll install tinder too and will search you up."
Your frown morphs into an expression of surprise and your lips part to form a small 'o'. 
Is…..is Hoseok saying what you think he's saying? Is it his way of saying that he would like to take you out on a date? And say, if the answer to these questions is, yes, what will you do?
In the six months that you have been with Henry, you haven't thought of Hoseok in that way. The intensity of your feelings lessened and you could let yourself be friends with him without letting your feelings get in the way. 
But are your feelings for him gone? 
You don't know.
Hoseok is a great friend of yours. He is nice, charming, kind, helpful and talented. Not to mention that he is utterly gorgeous. Anyone would be lucky to have him as their partner. But do you still want him as one?
You look at Hoseok and realise that the thought of being with him doesn't feel weird. If anything, it causes a little bit of excitement to stir up in your stomach.
It's true that your crush on him is not as deep as it once was and you're not looking for a relationship at the moment, but for some reason, you feel like when you're ready, you may just fall for him harder than you have ever before. 
Clearing your throat, you come up with a response that you think is just right. "In that case, I'll have to make sure that I don't forget to tell you about it." 
Hoseok turns around immediately to look at you with a surprised look as if that was the last thing he had expected you to say. But when that surprised look turns into that of relief, your previous questions about Hoseok's intent are answered. 
A smile appears on his lips when his surprise fades and he makes a promise to himself to not waste the chance you have been kind enough to give him again. "I'll eagerly wait for that day"
Something in your heart blooms at the soft look he gives you and you nod. 
After that, both of your chit-chat resumes and you two giggle and laugh like never before while you pack your stuff. Once you're done, you get ready to leave. "I'll get going then?"
With a gleeful smile, Hoseok responds, "see you next Saturday."
As you're walking out of the door, a thought appears to you. "Oh, also, you can't search for people on Tinder."
And then you're gone. 
Hoseok watches your retreating figure and he has to try really hard to stop smiling like a fool. 
Maybe there will be no need for Tinder after all. 
Namjoon
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"I love Y/N," as soon as the words are out of his mouth, he winces, anticipating and dreading Yoongi's reaction. 
Yoongi, on the other hand, merely blinks at Namjoon's words. ".....and?"
Out of all the reactions, Namjoon thought Yoongi would give, this was not one of them. This makes things way scarier for him because he thinks this is Yoongi's version of 'calm before the storm'. 
"Listen, you can be mad at me all you want. I understand but I just wanted to let you know." Namjoon rambles, his voice coming out high-pitched. 
A small frown appears on Yoongi's face. This is it, Namjoon thinks.
"Why do you assume that I'm mad?" Yoongi's question, however, leaves Namjoon perplexed. He searches for any form of pretence on Yoongi's features but when he doesn't find any, he sighs.
"I don't know–" Yoongi's frown deepening is enough for Namjoon to backtrack and start speaking the truth. "–you told me that if I were to ever try to show interest in your sister, our friendship would be over."
"I mean, I don't recall saying that but it does sound like something I'd say," Yoongi nods. 
Now it's Namjoon's turn to frown. Is Yoongi mad or not? "What am I supposed to make of it?" 
"Nothing," Yoongi shrugs. "I should rather ask you, what was your purpose in telling me that you have feelings for Y/N? Was it because you felt like you had to ask for my permission? Or were you scared that it would affect our friendship?" A chuckle escapes Yoongi's lips. 
Namjoom sighs, feeling his muscles relax as he finally lets himself realise that Yoongi isn't mad. "I think it's more of the latter."
"So you won't ask for my permission, before pursuing her?" A scowl appears on Yoongi's face which immediately makes Namjoon stutter.
"I–I–I didn't mean that. Of course, I would ask for your permission." 
Yoongi tries his hardest to hold back the satisfied smirk that tries to make an appearance. It's nice to see Namjoon being scared of him every once in a while. 
"That's better," Yoongi hums. "And you don't have to worry about ruining our friendship and all that shit. That's very high school."
Namjoon feels like he can breathe again. After weeks, it feels like he can finally be honest with himself and most importantly with you, without being scared. A wide dimpled smile appears on his face at the thought of finally confessing to you. 
"Gosh, that's annoying," Yoongi huffs, with no real annoyance in his tone. If anything, he's glad to see the wide grin on his friend's face. "If she does reciprocate your feelings and the two of you become a couple, I do hope that the two of you don't turn out to be one of those intolerable ones."
You find almost everything intolerable. That's the thought that comes to Namjoon's mind but before he can speak those words, a much scary thought appears to him which takes his breath away. 
"What if Y/N does not accept my feelings?" His voice comes out in a whisper, too scared to speak those words loudly. 
Yoongi thinks the chances of that happening are very low. But he chooses not to say it. It's your feelings, you're the only one who knows where they lie. Yoongi does not wish to assume. Instead, he chooses to assure his friend that even if he were to get turned down, he will be there for him. 
"I will order a bottle of champagne and soju, each. If things work out, then we will celebrate with champagne. If they don't, then we can have soju." 
Namjoon is grateful for Yoongi's words, he really is but the fear that courses through his veins makes it impossible for him to think straight. "You don't get it. She confessed to me and I turned her down."
This time, a genuine scowl appears on Yoongi's face. "Why would you do that?"
Namjoon lets out a heavy breath. "I thought you'd be mad and our friendship would get ruined."
Yoongi tries his hardest not to let his eyes roll but ultimately fails. "Now I remember why I had told you not to pursue my sister."
Namjoon's heart drops at the comment. Is Yoongi about to change his mind? 
"One because it was high school and you were going through your fuckboy stage," Yoongi says, with squinted eyes that make it obvious that he's judging Namjoon. "Second, you were dense as fuck at times. Which, clearly, hasn't changed even now."
That had been two days ago. 
After the very scary chat session with Yoongi, Namjooon needed some time to recover. Two days to be exact. Now he has finally managed to grab the courage to talk to you and be honest. 
His hands hover in the air for a few moments before he knocks. He hopes and wants this to go well, otherwise, he thinks, he won't be able to forgive himself.
You frown when you hear the knock. Who has decided to bother you on a fine Sunday? 
You set aside the book you were reading and begrudgingly get up. With heavy steps, you head towards the door and swing it open. The regret that hits you is instantaneous. You should have checked through the peephole before opening. 
Namjoon notices your features drop and it makes him feel terribly guilty for his actions and words. With that guilt, also comes the strong need to make things right. 
"Do you need something?" You keep your tone cold to avoid any display of emotion. It's not that you are mad at him for the rejection. You're hurt about it, sure. Mad? No.
However, you feel incredibly embarrassed about confessing the way you did. You are aware that you were under the influence of alcohol but that doesn't make it any less humiliating. 
"I need to talk to you," Namjoon replies shakily as he finds his anxiety increasing. What if you have decided to move on or have come to the conclusion that he isn't worth it? 
You'd really like to make an excuse as to why you wouldn't be able to talk right now but something in you makes you decide otherwise. Maybe it's because you don't want things to be awkward between the two of you as it would put Yoongi in a tough spot. Or maybe it's because you hate seeing Namjoon so anxious, that you find yourself moving out of his way.
"Can I take a seat?" He asks awkwardly, with his index finger pointing at the couch, when he realises that you are simply waiting for him to start talking about whatever it is that he is here for. 
You are aware that you are being rude but you honestly don't know how to behave 'normally' around him, anymore. So, you simply hum and wait for him to take a seat. 
"Uhm," he clears his throat, "I wanted to talk to you about what happened at the party."
"We can talk about anything but that," you say pointedly. There's no way you are going to talk about that night when all you want is to leave that memory somewhere far behind. 
Namjoon notices the discomfort that etches your features despite your attempts at hiding it and sighs. "Okay, then I won't bring that up but I need to tell you something."
"Go on."
Namjoon takes in a deep breath before closing his eyes to grab the courage to let the words spill out. "I'm in love with you."
At first, the words don't sink in. 
You stand there, leaning against the wall, watching Namjoon. However, when you see the scared and anxious look on his face, you replay his words in your mind. 
I'm in love with you.
He's in love with you. 
The thought makes you angry.
You scoff. "Do you expect me to take you seriously?"
Namjoon shakes his head. "I don't expect you to but just hear me out."
"I don't want to." You declare stubbornly.
"I know but give me just one chance to explain myself." He pleads gently, not wanting you to feel as if you have to hear him out. He has already caused you enough pain and if you choose that you do not wish to hear him out, he is going to respect that. 
You want to laugh at Namjoon's request. You can accept the fact that he does not have feelings for you, no matter how hard that might be. But accepting that he is in love with you after the pain that you have been through? You can't accept that.
You'd very much like to close this topic and never have either of you mention it. But you can't say no to Namjoon when he looks like that. He is one of your biggest weaknesses and not hearing him out would cause you pain as well.
Instead of telling him verbally that you will hear him out, you look out of the window and stare outside blankly, which is enough for Namjoon to know that you're listening.
"I never thought that my feelings would be reciprocated. Which is why, I did not know what to say and said what I thought was right, at the time," his voice comes out vulnerable. 
You feel your annoyance flaring. If that really were the case he could have just said the truth. Why lie? Whose first instinct is to lie about their feelings, upon realising that they are not one sided?
Namjoon's next words answer your unasked question. "After my last two relationships ended the way, they did, I thought that all my relationships were destined to be doomed. I was scared to commit to anyone, especially you."
He sighs. "If we were to date and break up, it would change everything not only for the both of us but also for Yoongi. And if that were to happen I'd never be able to forgive myself."
It was around the time that Namjoon mentioned his last two relationships, that you stopped pretending to not care about what he had to say. You know how sensitive the topic is for him and for him to bring it up now, it must be serious. 
To put it simply, his last two relationships ended terribly. But each time, Namjoon blamed himself and thought that it was entirely his fault, which you know isn't the case.
Now that Namjoon breaks it down to you, you find your anger fading and find yourself sympathising with him. You may not agree with his actions but you can understand where he was coming from.
What you don't understand, however, is why he is telling you these things. If you're understanding him right, he said what he said at the party because he was scared. But now, he is here, telling you that he loves you. But why?
"Why are you telling me this?" You ask and you are surprised by the lack of coldness in your voice. Maybe it's because he's being vulnerable with you that gives you the courage to put your embarrassment aside for the time being.
Namjoon smiles softly. "I had a chat with Yoongi and it made me realise that I am the only one who thinks this way."
He was indeed scared shitless of his feelings affecting the friendship between him and Yoongi. He had taken Yoongi's cautionary way too seriously and while he was under that impression, what scared him even more was that he would take the risk of being with you only to later wish that he had stayed in his lane. He thought that maybe Yoongi too shares the same viewpoint as he does and hence had asked him to stay from you.
When he had gathered the courage to talk about it to Yoongi, it was with the intention of getting Yoongi's approval. Namjoon already knew that he wasn't going to listen to the voice in his head and that you were worth the risk. 
However, when Namjoon went back to his dorms and thought about the conversation he had with Yoongi, it made him realise that he was the only one who was holding these beliefs. Not only that, but Yoongi's reaction made him believe in himself, because even if Yoongi won't ever say it out loud, his calm and nonchalant behaviour was him letting Namjoon know that he trusts him.
"Plus," Namjoon continues, "I know I would regret it forever if I were to let you go simply because I was scared." 
You swallow at his words as any remaining trace of anger is washed away from your body. 
You know it can't be easy to do something when your insecurities are constantly telling you to do otherwise. But him doing just that, serves as a testimony of his love for you. Hence, even though at the beginning you weren't willing to accept his declaration of love, now you find your heart melting.
"So," you fiddle with your fingers. "What does all this mean?"
"Well if you have forgiven me for my stupidity, I'd like to take you out on a date." Namjoon hopes it isn't too soon to ask you out. But more than anything else, he wishes for your forgiveness. 
His words make your chest hurt and you immediately rush to make things clear. "There's nothing to be forgiven, I never held a grudge against you."
"But you wouldn't even look at me?" He asks, with a pained look.
Your heart sinks further. You had thought that it was only painful for you clearly that wasn't the case. "That's because I was embarrassed. It's just incredibly stupid to get drunk because you saw the man you love kissing someone else and then going and confessing like that."
Aaaahhhh.
Right, that whole him making out with someone, thing. He now remembers you mentioning it at the party. 
"Sorry to break it to you, but I did not kiss anyone," a small amused smile plays on his lips. "I was only helping the girl to get rid of something that had gotten into her eyes."
Your eyes widen when you hear that. Gosh, could you be any more stupid? You close your eyes tightly and groan in annoyance. 
Namjoon gets up from the couch and slowly walks towards you. He understands why it might have looked like he was making out with someone, after all, parties have the worst lighting. But he doesn't want you to feel embarrassed about it. After all, if it hadn't been for that misunderstanding, you would have never confessed and neither would he. 
After a small moment of hesitation, he puts his palm on your cheek and urges you to open your eyes.
"Hey," he whispers. "I'm really glad you misunderstood things that day. But I can assure you, that yours are the only lips I would ever want to kiss."
His words make you gulp. Here you were drowning in embarrassment a few moments ago and here you are now, breathless from the close proximity.
"Prove it," you whisper back. 
Namjoon's eyes fall on your lips. As much as he would like to feel how soft your lips are, he wants to do things right. 
With great willpower, he brings his eyes back to yours and kisses you on the forehead. "Trust me, there's nothing more I want than kissing you right now. But I want to take you out on a date first."
You chuckle at his words. "Well then, take me out on a date and at the end of it, kiss me like you mean it."
Namjoon's heart does a little dance at your words and he already feels his mind coming up with ideas of how he can make the date one that you never forget. "I'll make the date as perfect as you are."
Maybe you two will indeed be like one of those couples, Yoongi finds intolerable.
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A/N: I definitely plan to write a Ceo Yoongi series with these two, hence that's how I decided to write them for this part!
For early access to maknae line and for choosing what characters you want the maknae line to play, head over to my patreon! Hope you enjoyed reading this part!
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yoongiphoria · 1 year
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leave no trace behind | knj
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✰ pairing: famous!namjoon x gn!reader ✰ warnings: namjoon's crossfit injury hickey, a one-night stand, references to drinking and clubbing, a minor miscommunication, kind of smutty but not full-fledged smut (18+ only!) ✰ word count: 850-ish ✰ note: lmao don't look at me bye. i am so sorry, this is all i have to offer you in this trying time. i am also sorry that this is like my twentieth namjoon fic in a row. i am clearly down bad. may hickeygate 2023 live in our minds forever and ever, amen.
“N-No,” he pants. 
You don’t hear him, at first. You don’t hear anything. Adrenaline rushing to your ears, lips suctioned to that sweet spot on his neck, just to the side of his Adam’s apple. He has his hands kneading at your hips, fingers spread out over the expanse of your ass, gasping and grunting and gripping the soft skin there.
The noises he’s making, the straight shot of heat to your core, the salty and soft and sweet scent rising from his skin—you’re in heaven, losing yourself in this perfect stranger, and he’s doing everything just right, which is so much more than you can say for most of your one-night stands—
“Wait, no,” he mutters, and this time, you hear it. And you pull back, roll your swollen lips between your teeth and look up at him wide-eyed, because, well, you’re not dumb. No means no, and all that.
“Shit,” you whisper. You hate it, but you can’t stop it—the blood rushing to your cheeks, your whole face burning in shame. You retreat. Backtrack. “Sorry. Are you—um. Did you not… like that?” You don’t know what to do—what to say. You’re used to being the one saying no, putting a stop to things when you get uncomfortable. Now that you’re on the other side, the receiving end, you realize that this is foreign territory, and you’re walking around without knowing the language. Without Google Maps. Blind, to top it all off.
Figures. Your first night out in months, a last-ditch attempt to break yourself out of the slump you’re in, and you’ve somehow managed to fumble the bag. And what a bag to fumble, indeed, because this guy’s apartment is nice, and clean, and he’s been a perfect gentleman so far even with his flushed-scarlet glow and the unspoken understanding that you won’t be coming back after tonight. He looks like the kind of guy who’d care enough to make you cum first. The kind of guy who’d clean you up after and extend an offer to sleep over, and tell you to text him once you get home. Whether he meant it or not.
That, and he’s just pretty. So pretty, broad in all the right places but still cute, somehow, in a way that makes you want to protect him and jump him, all at once.
He looks just as mortified as you do, eyes going round as he quickly realizes your misunderstanding. “Wait—um. No. That’s not—“ He lets out a frustrated half-sigh, half-groan, runs a hand through his thick and dark hair. “It was good.” He laughs a little to himself, and that’s when you realize he has dimples. You feel your chest crack open—dangerously—when he adds, “Really good.” 
“Um, that’s great.” You furrow your brows at him. “But what—“
“I just—“ He huffs, puffing out his cheeks. You think it might be the cutest thing you’ve ever seen, but, well, he is just a one-night stand. You dispose of the thought before you can get any ideas. Click, drag, recycle bin. “I can’t have marks. On, um. My neck? Or anywhere, uh, visible.” He brings up a hand to the back of his neck, squeezes there. “It’s, ah, just a thing. Don’t want to start rumors, and all that.”
Ah. In all the excitement of tonight—the fruit soju you’d thrown back with reckless abandon, the press of your ass against his rapidly hardening crotch on the dance floor, lights in purple and pink and blue flickering across his face as he whispered in your ear, warm and low, back to my place?—you’d forgotten one very small, teeny-tiny, minor detail. The person with his hands all over your body, sitting under you on his couch looking half-embarrassed and half-extremely turned on, is Kim Namjoon. He hadn’t said as much, but you’re not that dumb, and the realization had dawned on you at some point between leaving the dimly lit underground club and walking into his luxurious, heavily secured building. Began taking shape when you got into the backseat of a darkly-tinted SUV idling by the curb, and clicked into place when you looked over and suddenly understood why this guy looked so damn familiar.
So, you get it. You nod, act like he’s not the first completely famous and completely untouchable person you’ve slept with—like this is all part of the routine for you, and you’re not completely out of your depth here—and smile. “Okay. No marks.” 
You bring a stiletto nail up to his throat, drag the tip lightly around the curve of his Adam’s apple. Watch as he groans low in his chest, tossing his head back. Watch as the brand you’ve already left on him—flushed red now, violet later, too late—bobs up and down, undulating with his pleasure like it has a life of its own. 
You lean down to his ear, lick lightly at the lobe, relish in the way he shudders beneath you when you whisper, “From now on.”
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julieeeeette · 5 months
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the one where Namjoon thinks she's beautiful
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Pairing: Namjoon and original female character
Word Count: 253
Rating: PG-13
She was positively the most beautiful woman in the whole world. And she was his.
He tucked a hand into his pants picket and watched with a small smile playing on his lips as she threw her head back, her inky hair shimmering like a wave down her back as she clapped her long, slender hands.
After all the serious paintings they'd seen, this one of a small girl holding a fish and a cat plucked the strings of her humor and ignited her in a bright laughter that filled the empty hall.
"The cat!" She held her arm to mimic the cat and rolled her eyes with a meow. "It… it jus….!"
Her words trailed off as tears ran down her cheeks, glinting in the bright lights. 
He chuckled to himself as she stepped under a recessed light and was illuminated as though she were on display in her effortlessly elegant black gown that hung down to the ground. She patted her eyes as she caught her breath and sighed when she looked at him.
"Sorry. I don't know why that was so funny."
"You're beautiful."
"Oh." She dipped her head with a shy smile filling her cheeks and squishing her cheeks as she smoothed her dress down, her engagement ring glimmering in the light, blinding him for a moment. "Thank you, Namjoon. You're very handsome. I like glasses on you."
He smirked at her and walked towards her, wrapping an arm around her waist before ushering her into the next hall.
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liwaywaydreamer · 1 year
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My Savior (Ch. 1)
(Time travel au, Royalty au, BTS x Reader)
Synopsis: As a hopeless med student that has been accustomed to the roller coaster of mishaps in life, you were sure nothing could get worse than the current situation you’re in. Unfortunately, that thought didn’t include being transported back in the 1400s, nor did it include you being an apparent reincarnation of the person you hated most. Now, can this get any worst?
Pairing: BTS x reader
Warnings: Inaccurate history, angst, bystander effect, verbal abuse (reader received some insults and humiliated), harmful thoughts, implied politics (in connection only to the story, there are no real politician mentioned here), corruption in politics, unreliable narrator (if I forgot something, feel free to comment or send an ask?)
A/n: university life is shit and I was eyeing for this to be at 5k words but if I stuck to that, I wouldn’t finish this. If you like it, please reblog. Reblogs are worth more than likes here right?
Masterlist
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Chapter 1: Like fate, like destiny
You're fucked.
Two words you continuously repeat in your head as you struggle to gather the mess of thesis papers you've left messily across your table the night before. Glancing at your alarm clock not surprisingly on the floor blaring 10:30 at you, sporting a dent not so hidden even if you're three feet away, (a surprising quality for such a cheap thing).
Your class starts at 8.
You tried your best to get to your university as quickly as you can, wishing time would stop a little, or even just go back, afraid of what is about to come. Despite your efforts not to get annoyed (and failing miserably) with the bodies you bumped into on the way and the occasional yelling here and there — from the moment you almost forgot to pay the bus fare to when you're facing your professor right now in front of the faculty lounge, the same professor which you needed to pass your research to— coffee splashed onto his shirt, a cup on the floor, and you on the receiving end of his anger.
He took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose, a gesture that you might have found endearing if he had been more physically appealing. You waited with bated breath, so used to his antics. Although some might see this as an attempt for him to control his anger, you however can see past his huge ego and idiotic narcissism, he was only doing this to attract more traction, the audience for your humiliation.
His prolonged sigh was your calm before the storm.
"You can't do anything right, do you?" he sneered as if trying to prove a point to the spectators, relishing in every second of your embarrassment. 
If being a disappointment was a job, you'll be the CEO in no time.
"Sir, I'm really sorry, I didn't mean—"
"SHUT UP!" he screamed as he loosens his necktie. You can't do anything but wait and hope that whatever he does next would suffice for how much you've messed up time and time again.
"You, what can you do right?" With each word, he poked and prodded you, pushing you closer and closer to the deep end. You whimpered, trying to not lose control but failing miserably as there was nothing that you could do to stop it, and whether you were just failing by your standards or the fact that he does not care, he continued his barrage of insults, never letting up despite your attempts to apologize.
"How long do I need to put up with you?" he slurred as he now prods your shoulder, harder and harder with each word.
"Sir, I'm sor— "
"HUH?!" a smack and you were on the ground. All the people in the vicinity just stood there, watching, unwilling to help— being a mindless watcher to the abuse, the true definition of a bystander effect.
Why is it in every discipline, violence needs to be included? Is that how we're programmed to learn? Through nothing but violence? You hoped for someone to help you even if you already knew that no one would. Yet, you hoped still.
If this was your first day in school, you would've fought back. You would've stood up for your pride. That a spilled coffee is not enough to humiliate you like this and that not every misfortune is because of you. But you know better; this isn't your first day, nor is it your second. You know how the system works and who it favors, and unfortunately, it doesn't favor you.
"...waste of space. If it weren't for your parents..." You didn't hear the other words he spoke as he walked away not forgetting to throw the papers he held— papers that were your best effort at reaching your dreams, thrown away with your hopes of being better than what they said.
Needless to say, you were suspended due to behavior misconduct; words that you no longer know the meaning of anymore. You're back to your cage-like rented dorm, whilst your head is everywhere but.
What a cruel joke, you thought. The first time you wanted something so badly for yourself and had dedicated your whole life to had to happen with the world's hatred for you was at its peak. Or had it ever really stopped?
You gripped the handle of your balisong, tracing the delicate and intricate designs you engraved on it as waves of atrocious thoughts crashed into your mind. How morbid, you mused. The same thing that you want to hurt yourself with right now is the same thing that made you feel grounded. You're aware that these thoughts are anything but good, but you're also aware of the fact that no one is going to help you.
Simply because no one wants to.
A medical career was not your parents' choice nor was it ever in their choice, but it was in yours.
You're not unconscious of the fact that a career in the medical field is a lot to take financially, and to be the only one in the medical field in a family of lawyers? You alone destroyed the dreams put on you by your mother who vicariously lived through you, but you wanted it.
And you thought that was enough.
But now, as you sit back on the barren floor of your sparsely furnished room that you once hoped would've at least shown evidence of the life of someone healthy in their early twenties, you had nothing other than your worn-out bed on the corner and a circular dinner table doubling as your makeshift desk, cut off from all financial stability that your parents could've provided you if you only heed to their wishes. Now, you think about whether your current situation is worth the sense of independence you fought so hard for.
Was it a foolish decision to stand your ground? To try to live your life on your own terms? Because you know for a fact that it doesn't matter if you followed every whim of your parents as they will always find something wrong and below their standards with you. With every breath, every change of clothes, every food that you intake, even your education— you were taught that everything that they have given you was a debt you owed them, and because of that they are within their rights to choose for you.
After all, parents only want the best for their children, don't they?
You are by no means the most intelligent person on the campus, nor were you trying to be. But you're committed to what you chose, and you hoped that that commitment can be seen through your effort and hard work. And yet, despite your commitment, those words, those words still echoed in your mind— you can't seem to un-hear those words.
“If it weren't for your parents.”
You wanted to choose a life separate from them, to forge a path of your own. But no matter how much it pains you to admit, you know now, clearer than ever, that it does not matter how far you run, you'd always be hidden beneath their shadows.
To only be recognized as the black sheep of your family.
Instead of indulging your self-pity and sulking alone in your room with a blade on sight much longer than you had intended to, you opt to browse the internet for some fun things to do; a piece of advice you got from the internet since seeing a psychiatrist would be a luxury for you.
And whether it was your misfortune running out finally or yet another adventure of mishaps waiting to unfold an announcement caught your attention:
"Join us for a free tour down the historical lane to commemorate the House of Kim, with events set to reenact the life our ancestors had lived!"
There were more words to the article but as you read on, your eyes fell on the tour's schedule.
"Gyeongbokgung tour is going to take place at 1:30 pm," you murmured to yourself.
It was an opportunity you couldn't miss, a rare sight to see. Despite the mental baggage weighing you down, this was a chance to experience something new and forget about your troubles, even if just for a little while. Maybe this was the way of the gods trying to make up for all the shit storm your life is at right now, but whatever it was, you'll take it.
So, without hesitation, you got up, grabbed your purse, and with the little money you have left, you headed out. You knew you had to take on more shifts at the store or find other jobs to cover for your sudden trip, as your dream of becoming a doctor was fading quickly and surely anyway. But for now, all you cared about was the prospect of exploring a historical place that had opened its doors on a day it usually wouldn't.
Arguably, no one other than yourself knows what decisions made on a whim can do to anyone. Whether this is your intuition telling you to go back to your room to help you or just to spite you away from society, you didn't dwell long on the thought.
All you needed to know is that you're drowning quickly, and you would hold unto anything, even a pair of gilded chains to let you breathe again.
"Gyeongbokgung Palace, also known as Gyeongbok Palace, was the primary royal residence and the largest of the five grand palaces that still exist today in South Korea. Built-in 1395, this..."
As you don't have a lot of money to waste, you stuck to the free guides the palace provides although not very effective when you're standing in the back of 50 people. And looking at how detached and uninterested your tour guide is whilst speaking, without a doubt, you knew that this was just an additional job to her. Not really enough to complain about since the constant chattering of the people around you easily engulf her almost robotic voice anyways.
This trip already cost you more than you expected and standing still to nonsense chatter was not part of your nonexistent plan. So, with the palace map in hand, you left the group with ease.
"Gwanghwamun: the southern gate that became the main gate after some time. It is one of Seoul's iconic sights, having been restored after being largely destroyed by the war," you read while gazing up at the magnificent building in front of you, the swaying of windchimes singing their lullabies in the background. Your eyes carefully scanned every nook and cranny, not wanting to forget this beautiful sight. Although you can't be sure if the scenery is exactly as it looked when it was originally built, the idea of having remnants of the past soothes your soul.
You've always been intrigued about the things that have already happened, or perhaps that's an understatement as your mind always seems to be occupied with thoughts about what they could have done differently and the effects of it on the modern world. Whether it really is fascinating to you or just a form of escapism, you don't want to know. All you do know is that you're a product of the modern world, but something within you suggests that itself was a mistake.
Especially when the Kim dynasty has the best-looking aristocrats you had ever seen.
No, you weren't attracted to them, you tried to defend yourself from your inner turmoil as you gaze upon the paintings displayed. You just know how to appreciate beauty when you see one, even if it's just paintings on a wall. This was once again your Philip Hamilton but with much more injustice. At least with Philip, there were actual pictures of him to bestow the world with his beauty. And although you can commend the talents of the painters of the past considering they did not have the best art supplies during their time, you still cannot grasp the idea that these people existed. Not when they are reduced to the mere splat of colors made to resemble a person.
You couldn't clearly see the features of each man in the paintings, but it's not really anyone's fault for it's just the evidence of time. Nevertheless, your admiration for them never lessened, because it's more than their artificial perfection that deserved your admiration and respect. They were also the ones who did more than any other aristocrats ever did for their people. They were the true embodiment of a regime existing not for the regime itself, perfectly aware of who gave them power. Although yes, it wasn't a democracy, but even democracy has its problems.
All you can say is they did their best to lead their people. At least for some time, as they were the foundation that made South Korea what it is now. Sure, their reign could've ended better, still, they were an integral part of history.
And history should never be forgotten.
Although it disheartens you that their achievements and sacrifices are slowly being forgotten; the wars they've won are now taken for granted, you understand that life goes on and people have their own lives to live. It's another reminder that time doesn't stop for anyone.
As the wind chimes fluttering in the breeze, abruptly ceasing your thoughts. Somehow, you felt a sense of belongingness, despite their faintness that could easily be muffled by the chirping of birds. Nonetheless, it was truly fitting for the place as it only elevated the experience the palace could only give.
You couldn't quite understand why wind chimes would be placed in Geunjeongjeon, other than to elevate the experience, but since the cold breeze was constant ever since you stepped onto the palace grounds, you're certain that the people who are in charge knew exactly what they're doing.
You continued observing the place, trying to imagine what events had happened on the concrete that was paved hundreds of years ago. Was it quiet? Were the roads bustling with people constantly? Or were there just only a handful of people seen from time to time walking along?
You were so deep into your imagination that for a few seconds, you felt as though you were transported back in time. You were seeing groups of three to four consorts walking and talking to each other, palace women walking briskly with a basket on their sides, and a few eunuchs scolding some servants who probably messed something up. And then suddenly, everything came to halt when a booming voice from behind you commanded, "Make way for the Prince!"
As you turned to face the source of the voice, you found yourself making eye contact with a man whose attire you could easily recognize from the K-dramas you'd watched, and even with the distance between you, you can't help but feel he was looking straight at you.
"Excuse me, is this yours?" A little girl's voice interrupted your daydream, her voice so cute as she lightly tugs your shirt, holding out your phone.
"Oh, thank you so much!" you exclaimed, realizing that you were in your head so much that you didn't feel your phone fall off your pocket. You would have another problem added to your bulk of problems if it weren't for the girl.
"No problem, have a good day!" she gleamed brightly and ran off. The kid was so energetic you couldn't even give her something back. 
As you opened your map once again, you accidentally dropped your phone and with it, you see a pocket watch on the ground. And it didn't take you to think twice to know to whom it belongs. Hurriedly, you followed the kid toward the path of the Hyangwonjeong pavilion.
"Where did she go?" you murmured, you were sure that you had seen her walking towards the pavilion, but as you see the bare grounds of the place, you realized you had lost track of her. The pavilion was nearly empty except for a few tourists, and you felt torn between searching for the girl to return the watch or continuing to explore the palace grounds.
As you were going to turn around and try to find the girl, you stopped in your tracks. After all, did you really spend your money to travel here just to end up focusing on returning a girl's missing watch when the palace was only open for a limited time? It would be a waste of time going here if you didn't enjoy your time, right? As you stood there contemplating your decision, the constant breeze grew stronger, making the wind chimes nearby flutter and although messy, they still somehow created the most beautiful melodies. The sound disrupted your thoughts, but somehow provided an answer to your dilemma. You decided to keep the watch and continue exploring the palace. After all, you didn't want to waste your money and time searching for someone who would likely be enjoying the sights with her guardians. You could always return the watch to her later.
As you stroll on the bridge named Chwihyanggyo, your fingers lightly tapping the railings, you thought of one thing that could make this experience a million percent better.
"Why are hanbok so fucking expensive?" you huffed, frustrated at yourself for not being able to afford one. But since you can't do anything about it, you continued walking with a pout toward the buildings that housed the aristocrats of the past. The melodies of the windchimes grow louder as you come closer. And that's when it hits you.
How do you keep hearing them considering you haven't seen one since your first step on the palace? If this was a scene in a drama, you would've thought that the windchimes were following you, serving as the background music for the main protagonist's introduction. But this was no drama nor were you a main protagonist material, and you couldn't help but feel curious about it.
As you stepped inside the pavilion, you felt like you were slowly reaching your dream of going back in time as you gaze at the antique furniture that filled the place. Your fingers trailed the rough edges of the desk, which had subtle engravings that seemed unreadable at first glance: 다 괜찮을거야.
Everything will be alright.
The phrase repeated in your head as you wondered what it meant. Was it a message from the past or just a meaningless inscription? You felt a sense of longing to uncover the mystery behind it, and you wouldn't have noticed it if you hadn't felt it, but the pavilion was closing soon, and you had to leave to look around more. 
As you were about to exit, the chimes called out to you again, tempting you to get closer and follow their sweet melody— almost as if they could sense the curiosity in your mind. You followed the sound until you stumbled upon a backroom, which looked like a storage room that had been converted into a makeshift bedroom for the caretaker. You stepped across the redline, both figuratively and literally, unable to resist the urge to explore further.
From the balcony, you caught a glimpse of the wind chimes dangling from a branch over the lake. The constant ringing didn't falter from luring you in. You scanned the area for anyone who could catch you and when you saw no one, you leaped over the balcony and headed toward the chimes. There was something about the chimes that piqued your interest, but whether it was the chimes themselves or the confusion of how you keep hearing them from afar, you weren't sure, and nor were you going to find your answer.
Because as the popular idiom goes, curiosity killed the cat, and with a slip up your feet into the lake you go.
♛♛♛♛♛♛♛
The row of daisies sat atop the windowsill, bathed in the golden light of daybreak. The silent whims of the wind filled the space, stirring the dried leaves on the small makeshift table below, made with old planks with jagged edges, where jars of medicines sat alongside a worn notebook filled with hastily scribbled notes. There was the usual sound of footsteps and the creaking of floorboards. The palace's physicians and attendants began to trickle in, their visits indicated by the soft chimes of wind chimes hanging above the door.
And the wind blew one more time. As if it's intentionally done to send a message as the image of blurred sketches comes through.
All was well.
Until the peaceful scene was shattered by the thunderous galloping of horses that had shaken the rooms. Until there was the clash of metal on metal that filled the air as swords were unsheathed. And until there were faces with features you couldn't make up.
Muffling, shuffling, screaming, shouting.
It was only chaos and bloodshed, and as it worsened, the ringing in your ears grew louder and louder, drowning out all other sounds and leaving you with nothing but a sense of overwhelming disorientation.
Then, just as suddenly, it all heeds to a stop. The ringing faded away, and nothing could be heard other than the flipping of the pages, the smooth gliding of a pen, and the wind chimes outside the window that began to tinkle once again. You looked out the window and saw a tranquil scene: rows of green grass and golden hay, and the majestic curve of a mountain in the distance. There were no whims nor whispers of the wind.
All was quiet and still.
As if everything was at its stalemate; the equilibrium.
And then, as if a stick had been broken, it happened.
The scene began to shift and blur, colors and shapes warping and twisting like a nightmare. The ground trembled beneath your feet; the tremors so strong that you could've sworn you felt it all as images flickered before your eyes. You saw a crowd of men gathered around someone lying on the cold hard floor with colors ranging from black to white, their sorrows crystal-clear even with the constant ringing. Then you saw a field of yellow flowers, a scenery of green and gray with men running toward something in the distance, their faces twisted in anguish, kneeling and begging in the middle of a field.
The images kept shifting and switching back and forth. Everything was in chaos as if fate itself was unsure of what was to come. But through it all, you struggled to hold onto each fleeting image, desperate to make sense of the chaos that surrounded you. And then, with a sudden jolt, you were pulled back into reality, coughing up water as you gasped for air. As you opened your eyes, the last remnants of the dream slipped away, and you were left with only the memory of the intense emotions it had stirred within you.
Dazed, and confused. You looked up, meeting the gaze of the man who had pulled you from the water, his eyes filled with concern and relief.
You were certain you hadn't met him before, but you could've sworn that those almond-shaped eyes were something you could never forget, etched into your memory with an inexplicable familiarity.
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To be continued...
Thanks for reading!
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musicloverxoxo7 · 1 year
Text
Sit on me – feat. Namjoon
Non-idol!Namjoon   x   fem!reader
Summary: Namjoon is in a phone call, but you feel needy. How far will he go while talking to a colleague?
Themes/warnings: AU, smut with a teeny bit of plot, unprotected sex, nipple play, blowjob, cock warming, bit of fluff, swear word, established relationship, Namjoon is still a rapper and producer in this AU
Wordcount: ca. 1.2k
Disclaimer: 18+, DO NOT INTERACT IF YOU ARE UNDER 18
I do not own BTS. They merely inspire me. None of this is related to their persons in real life.
Namjoon’s business call has been going on for half an hour already. You’ve been trying not to bother him since you’ve gotten home. But it’s hard when he’s sitting on the sofa in shorts and a tank top that shows off some of his pecks too.
What you want to do isn’t hard to figure out, but you’re still working on a plan.
“Yeah, we should really talk about the backing vocals for my rap again.”
Sounds like this call will go on for at least another fifteen minutes. To an hour.
You walk to the sofa. Namjoon has his arm crossed in front of his chest. You sit down on his lap. He opens his arms. You gladly slide up his thighs and bury your face in his neck. You love his musky, fresh Namjoon smell.
You rub your nose over a spot on his neck that you know is quite sensitive. His hand flexes on your back, but his voice stays unaffected.
“Yes, yes. That would be a good idea. Maybe, if we have the new guy do harmonies and add that on top of what I rap.”
You kiss Namjoon’s jaw once, before burying your face in his neck all innocently again. You can practically feel his eyes on you. You slowly raise your head and look at him with a smile. He purses his lips. You cradle his face between your hands and give him a peck. Your eyes meet after.
It was his eyes that captured you when you first met. Even now they make you lose your senses a little.
Namjoon doesn’t move away, so you go in for another kiss. His lips part. You eagerly lean more into the kiss. You roll your hips into him. His grip on your waist tightens, restricting your movement.
You break away and pout at him.
“Of course. She’s good too. Have her and the new guy do harmonies together. I can do the low ones if you really need me to”, Namjoon says into the phone. He sounds slightly out of breath.
His eyes roam over your body and stay on your boobs for quite a long time. You smile and jut them out a little. Namjoon takes his free hand from your hip and places it on one of your boobs. He squeezes a few times. He strokes over your nipple with his thumb.
Your head drops back as he repeats it, but you’re careful not to make a sound. To the phone Namjoon only hums the occasional confirmation. You can tell his mind isn’t entirely on the conversation anymore.
And you can feel it as he grows hard under you.
Namjoon’s hand moves under your shirt. He inhales deeply. You bring your head forward again. He needs to at least pay some attention to work, and he isn’t currently doing that at all.
You point at his phone. Namjoon rolls his eyes but returns his focus to his colleague and takes his hand out from under your shirt. Or so you thought because moments later he takes your hand and places it on the bulge in his shorts. It’s too tempting. You run your hand over his length.
His hand comes down on yours again, applying more pressure. You laugh silently. He has a tendency to get impatient once he’s crossed a certain point. As soon as he takes his hand away, yours wanders to the waistband of his shorts. You pull on it. Namjoon lifts both you and him enough for you to pull them down.
As soon as your knees touch the sofa again, you wrap your hand around his dick. Namjoon swallows but doesn’t make a sound.
“Ah yes, that one”, Namjoon answers into the phone. His voice sounds slightly strained. “How about we discuss her record tomorrow when she’s in the studio with us?”
He listens for a moment. Well, half listens. At the same time, he bucks up in your grip. You scoot back a bit on his lap, lower yourself and lick the little bead of precum from his tip. Namjoon bites down hard on his lower lip.
“Yes, I know it would safe us some time if we’re already on the same page. Okay, give me the cliff notes version of what you’re thinking of.”
You lick up from the bottom to his tip. A little more precum leaks out. Namjoon’s lips part, but he manages not to make a sound.
He places his fingers on your jaw and nudges you to look upwards. Your eyes meet.
“Sit on me”, he mouths.
You don’t need telling twice. You crawl upwards again, one hand still on his dick. With your other, you push aside your shorts and underwear and align him. Namjoon’s hand returns to your hip.
He looks near desperate as you slide down very slowly. He feels so nice in you, you instantly roll your hips once he bottoms out.
Namjoon’s head drops back.
You don’t feel like making it extra hard for him today, so you do sit still. Well, except that you keep moving your hips back and forth a tiny bit with every breath. Enough to make Namjoon’s hand tighten on your hip every time.
“Got it. Good. That was productive. I’ll tell you more on what I think tomorrow. Yeah, still have some things to contemplate. Alright, see you tomorrow.”
He hangs up and heaves a long sigh.
“Honey, couldn’t you choose a better time?”
“No better time than the now”, you say, rolling your hips in emphasis.
“Fuck. Okay, I can do that.”
He pushes his hips upwards in a sharp thrust, hitting a very good spot. Your eyes roll back. Your hips chase his as he draws out a little again. Only to have him slam into you again.
You move your hand to your clit and start drawing circles as Namjoon keeps drilling into you. Beads of sweat run down his temple, jaw and neck.
“Joon”, you whine.
“You’re such a tease, hun”, Namjoon grunts.
“Part of what keeps it interesting, baby.”
Namjoon barks out a laugh. It’s quickly followed by a moan. His sexy, low voice drives you near insane.
You move your hips a little. Now he’s hitting exactly the right spot. Your legs are shaking like crazy.
“Uhh, baby.”
Your hips buck a few times as you come undone, the waves of your orgasm taking your strength. You slump forward and bury your face in Namjoon’s shoulder.
“Almost there with you, hun”, Namjoon whispers into your ear as you ride out your orgasm, whining at how good it feels.
You sling your arms around his neck and hold tight as his thrusts turn sloppy. Moments later you feel him pulsing in you. He comes to a stuttering halt.
At this point, you’re both sweaty and exhausted.
“Once I feel my legs again, I suggest we have a shower”, you mumble into his shoulder.
“Do you need my help in case your legs give out again?”
“Oh, I hope they give out again. But I do need your help for that.”
“Happy to serve, baby.” You can hear the smile in his words.
© musicloverxoxo7, 2022
Please do not copy, translate, or repost my work. Doing so will make you legally liable for stealing intellectual property.
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dearestvante · 6 months
Text
stuck with you; kth.
pairing: taehyung x fem!reader , namjoon x fem!reader genre: non-idol au, exes to lovers (?), roommates au, angst, smut, fluff (??idk), miniseries warnings: short chapters, lowercase writing, swearing, kinda toxic relationship, unrequited love, fear of commitment, use of petnames (baby & honey), tae is a menace and an asshole but that’s cause he loves you and you’re with someone else right in front of him + more added later preview: "taehyung was standing in the kitchen, ready to enjoy his bowl of jjajjangmyeon, when your bedroom door opened, revealing you and your boyfriend, hand in hand, smiling at each other. safe to say, he lost his appetite very quickly. to clear any misunderstandings, you weren’t the problem. your angelic smile that turned his whole world upside down wasn’t it either. the buff, six-feet-tall man on your right, and the fact that he was the cause of your joy, that was the problem. he hated namjoon with every little cell in his body. not because he was such a bad person - he was quite the opposite, actually, which made taehyung hate him even more - but because he had you."
parts: one; two; three.
[listening to layover while reading is advised ;)) ]
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redsaurrce · 1 year
Text
KINKTOBER SPECIAL
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Red Secret
𓈈 What happens when you try to discover the only secret your flawless "fake" boyfriend was hiding from you?
◌ Yandere Werewolf!Namjoon X Scientist fem!reader
Genre : werewolf au
Warnings : Profanity, kissing, blood (like lots of it), gore, killing, mentions of betrayal
Word count : 3.1K
Part of the fear festival organized by our lovely @taetaecherub, do check out my fellow authors as well ❤
Taglist ꒱ @babyboo22 @theblueslytherin @yansob @apriljoon @xxxbangtanbabexxx @favfanfictsbts @seokjins-luigi @iffyleafy @effielumiere @getoutofthere @luvv2jade @bri-mal @xicanacorpse @emperatris-rinaka @strawberryjimin13 @eddiegirl-86 @jungkookminthairwhen @tornparts @telepathytae @taeisbae13
-.
"Here's the AB negative blood sample you asked for." Namjoon kept a packet near your microscope, you removed your sight from the microscopic lens to look at him. You smiled, "Thanks." Namjoon's heart swelled up with pride and happiness looking at you satisfied with his work yet again.
"Alright then I'll be off to work baby." He said happily.
Hearing that nickname made your smile waver, "Namjoon it's only the two of us here. There's no need to pretend to be my boyfriend." Namjoon felt his chest sting but he quickly fixed his demeanor into a playful one. He clicked his tongue, "Oh my what a mood killer! Can't you just play along? Anyways I'll be off and call me when you need anything."
You hummed as you returned back to your work.
....
Namjoon sighed as he looked at his wine glass, "No matter what I do, she never likes me back." Namjoon bit his lower lip, he gulped, "Three years! We've been together for three years yet, she only sees me as a coworker."
Jin drank from his glass and looked at him, he pursed his lips into a thin line, "If she's your soul mate, she should've come to you already. I don’t get what kind of woman is she if she doesn't like you?" Namjoon's head shot up, "What is it that you mean?"
"I mean.. there's no way any one wouldn't fall for your charms, if not for Y/N pretending to be your girlfriend, I bet there would have been a swarm of ladies surrounding you here. Even men too. Yesterday only Haneul was asking me for your phone number when he got to know I'll be meeting you here in Busan." Jin chuckled as he picked his glass to drink again.
Namjoon poked his cheek with his tongue, "I mean I got the Kim blood flowing in me, the highest clan of werewolves' blood flows in me. I was made to rule, made to attract, it's impossible for anyone not to fall for me. Then why Y/N is the exception? I remember when I was new here, I was instantly mesmerized by her, it means that she was my soul mate .. but.. but no matter whatever I did, nothing impressed her except one thing-"
"I know. Blood." Jin said on his behalf, "No need to tell me again. Only I and Taehyung know about her using you for instant blood and you using her to keep all the other females away- and also because you like her. So.. What if.. just what if, she's playing hard to get?"
Namjoon looked at Jin with a puzzled expression, "You are kidding me right?"
Jin shrugged his shoulders, "Who knows? You can check if you want."
Namjoon became curious, "And how am I supposed to do that?" "I don't know man, follow her behind through an alley or something to see if you're the one she calls when she feels endangered. That way you'll know if she likes you or not."
Namjoon nodded his head, "I see, not a bad idea. Thanks broda! Also you're joining Y/N's research office tomorrow, aren't you? See ya around." Namjoon said as he got up from his chair.
"Yeah for two weeks then I'll return to Seoul’s branch again, also yep see ya around." Jin bid him goodbye.
-.
Namjoon figured out your presence through the smell of your blood from afar. He saw you walking down an abandoned alley as if the heaven's were on his side. He started following you discreetly.
You on the other hand, felt someone was following you but whenever you turned back to see, you spotted no one creeping you out even more. You licked your lips as you felt nervous.
You quickly opened your handbag, Namjoon filled with anticipation as he thought you were about to fish out your phone to call him, instead he saw you bringing out a small knife.
He raised his eyebrows, damn! You really are smart huh, Namjoon whisper-chuckled to himself. You both really suit each other so well.
He still kept following you.
You thought that whoever the person following you was, must be armed guessing how they didn't leave you alone even after looking at your knife. You put your hand inside your bag again and on your mobile you quickly punched in the most recent call in the call history since it was quicker than to type in or search any number and then you shared your location with the caller.
Namjoon's phone immediately lit up just like his eyes when he realized that you were the caller, that he was the one you had called. He quickly receded his steps and went to opposite direction to pick up his phone.
"Hello baby?" Namjoon said in euphoria. "Ah hi.. uhm.. bye I guess?" You weren't sure what to tell him since you felt the creep not following you anymore.
Namjoon cut in, "What is it though?"
You replied, "N-Nothing, I think I had accidentally called you. Are you at work?"
"I'm going to our apartment, want me to pick you up?" He asked.
"How do you know I'm outside?" You blinked as you listened to his question. "A-ah i-i just .. guessed?" Namjoon awkwardly laughed.
You giggled a little, "I see, but no need I'm almost there."
Namjoon smiled to himself with his eyes closed, your giggle made his heart race but numbed his mind. Oh the things you made him feel!
-.
You and Namjoon lived together because of two reasons. First for dating. Very obvious right? Actually you both were in a fake relationship.
Second for instant blood delivery.
It all began three years ago, it was the time of winter, the time when South Korean government had announced blood campaigns and research regarding the covid situation all over the country. And a lot of scientists from across the country were located in Busan.
All of you needed a lot of blood for research, a variety at that. Getting rare blood types like O negative or AB negative would be considered a life time achievement but there was a guy on your team for whom it was a daily thing. Kim Namjoon, a tall and handsome scientist with almost every female scientist swooning over him within just a week of your group formation.
Nearly every minute there would be someone going to him to either confess or just make excuses to stay beside him.
You too did but you approached him with your hand extended for him to shake his hands with, for you both to become each other's ally.
When Namjoon looked at you for the first time, sounds cliché but he fell for you. "Let's be friends, I need the blood samples from where you get them because it usually takes seven to eight days for the samples to arrive." You told him.
He extended his hand and held yours. "I like it that you are honest about your purpose of befriending me but.. what will I get in return?"
You parted your lips at his question. Right! What could you possibly offer him? "I'll help you with the research paper." You thought for a while and answered.
Namjoon titled his head, "I don't need any help in that."
In that? You raised your eyebrows, did he mean he needed help in something else? You slowly nodded your head, "Alright. Is there anything else I can help you with?" You asked him.
Namjoon looked behind you, you followed his gaze and turned your head to see a group of ladies waiting for you to leave his side already. You awkwardly smiled at them and then looked back at him. He returned his gaze to you as well with a crooked smile.
"Can you help me focus on my research, these ladies are quite a distraction for me." He said. "You mean.. become your body guard or something?" You asked in a confused state.
He chuckled and shook his head, "No. I am asking you to be my girlfriend."
Your eyes grew wide, "Let's talk when you are sober-" "Then be my fake girlfriend, I really want someone by my side or it'll be really difficult for me to continue my research here with every other girl asking for my number every damn minute."
You made an O with your mouth, "Being handsome is so tough right?" You mockingly smiled at him. "I'm serious, it really is a pain in the ass.. also don't you want the blood? You can atleast be my fake girlfriend for your research, can't you?"
You sighed, "Alright. Deal." Namjoon grinned and then proceeded to shake your hands which is when you realized that he didn't let go off it since the beginning. "Deal." You said as you retrieved your hand.
At the beginning many people questioned the genuineness of your relationship, only Namjoon seemed to be lovey dovey to you but you didn't. So to make it look real, you had announced that you both were living together to shut their mouths up in one of your group dinners.
You were drunk at that time.
Silly. Yeah!
But you were grateful for the drunken mistake because people no more bothered you two, though Namjoon was the most grateful as he actually convinced you to move in with him. "What if they find out that you lied Y/N. It'll be a huge mess." Yes, you couldn't ignore his words so you both started to live together under the same roof but different rooms.
Even if Namjoon was relocated to another research lab in Busan a year later, still both of you continued to keep your fake relationship going because of the same reasons.
-.
You went to work the next day and saw a new face, he introduced himself , "Hello everyone, I am Kim Seokjin and professor Moore has allocated me here for two weeks, looking forward to working with you guys."
Your eyes went wide the moment you heard Professor Moore's name, you have read countless books and research papers but none of them could encapture you like his work did. Jin must be so lucky to be working directly under him, it'll stay like a dream to you. You thought and sighed to yourself then went to your seat.
Just when you were beginning to feel hopeless, Jin happened to become your temporary lab partner and you couldn't be happier, now you could ask for Professor Moore's number without any awkwardness.
Not to mention that you were also intrigued how just like Namjoon, Jin also used get his blood samples so early.
-.
One day you and Jin were on your way to buy icecreams for your team during team dinner, that is when you decided to ask for Professor Moore's number.
"Uhm.." "Well Y/N!" You both spoke at the same time. You both chuckled at both of your timing. "Okay you say first Y/N." He said.
You shook your head, "I insist you say first what you wanted to say."
Jin smiled, "Alright then.. Actually I was thinking if you would like to come with me the next week to Seoul."
You gave him a questioning look, "What do you mean?"
Jin stopped on his tracks and so did you, "Would you like to work under Professor Moore?" Your eyes went wide at his sudden question.
"Judging by the shock on your face, I think you do." Jin smiled.
"I mean absolutely!! " You said as if you wanted to say 'isn't it obvious?'
He admitted, "Then come to Seoul with me, I'll be going back next week."
You titled your head, "Are you saying I'll shift branches? If I could, I would've already shifted mine to Seoul branch to work under him." You reasoned.
"Well you see.. Professor has actually sent me here to bring someone from here to Seoul, I'm sure he'll love to have you as his pupil. You deserve better Y/N." He said with his eyes giving out millions more of emotions.
Inside Jin's head, you deserved better, you deserve him instead of Namjoon. That bastard won't even tell you his secret of being a werewolf but Jin would never keep his secrets from you like the loyal man he was.
You inhaled, "Are you serious?"
He nodded enthusiastically, "Totally. Shall I talk with the professor?"
You happily nodded, "Yeah of course. I'll gladly come with you to Seoul. Ugh this is absolutely amazing. You're the best Jin." You showed him a thumbs up with a grin and Jin laughed.
-.
The very next day you received an email from your HOD that they have received orders from Seoul lab branch of taking you in. You were jumping in happiness, it all felt so surreal.
You quickly ran towards the kitchen where Namjoon was present and immediately hugged him in happiness. He was caught off guard to say the least, he had never been this close to you. He felt like brain was shut down for a moment, even though he was awake, a hug from you seemed like a sweet dream to him.
He slowly regained his focus and pat your back lightly, although he was dying to squeeze you tight in his hug, he controlled himself. You broke the hug and he saw you being the happiest ever in his entire life.
His cheeks were hurting from smiling so hard, "What is it Y/N?"
"I'm moving to Seoul next week Joon to work under Professor Moore!" You exclaimed in absolute delight.
Namjoon felt his world clashing right before his eyes. His smiled dropped like a lightening strike.
"Right I knew you would be stunned too! It's not easy to work under him, thanks to one of my coworkers." You told him as you were so relieved now, your career was going to skyrocket.
Namjoon couldn't believe your audacity, he scoffed, "is it Jin?"
Your eyes went wide, "What? How do you know him?"
He felt his eyes sting with upcoming tears, he felt so fucking betrayed. Both by you and Jin but he was angry more at him than you.
The werewolves of Kim clan had a very specific and distinguished blood odor. Namjoon used to get Jin's blood odor from you but he thought that it must be because you all were working together in the same office.
He shouldn't have taken it lightly and he regrets it now.
He sighed, "That's cool. So do you not need blood anymore?" He tried his best to not go into his beastly mode in front of you.
You pouted in thought, "Uhm.. I do actually for now, once I move to Seoul, Jin promised me he would be getting the blood for me. Also don't worry abt the girls situation.. I've talked with Sang-eun about us, she's my closest colleague and she knows about our fake relationship, I'll talk to her if she'd like to help you out in a fake relationship with you. Or... who knows if you both actually fall in love? She's really nice, I bet you'll really like her." You needed to pretend that you weren't aware of Namjoon's affection towards you because acknowledging that would only mess up things.
Meanwhile Namjoon was trying his everything to keep his emotions under check, he gulped hard. How could you talk about setting him up with someone else? Why were you so foolish? He was so baffled that he was unable to mutter a single word.
"Ah.. you didn't tell me how did you know Jin?" You asked him to break the ice. He scoffed, he was starting to hate his friend even more everytime his name came out of your mouth. "Just someone I know." He answered.
"I see."
"You didn't tell me what blood group you needed." He was just finding a reason to get out of there asap.
"Oh.. it's AB+ve!" You replied.
"Perfect! It won't take long.. also.. would you like to know my secret of getting the blood so fast?" He asked, almost letting his painful voice get in the way, fortunately for him, he didn't look pathetic.
You smiled again, "Absolutely, everytime I asked you about your secret, you kept telling me you'd tell me some other time. I even thought that perhaps I'd be taking this question with me to my grave." You chuckled and Namjoon gave out a chuckle too, a fake one.
"Yep today's the day you'll know it. Meet me in the building under construction at 8pm.. you know right? The building located a few minutes away from your research lab?"
"Yeah I do. I'll be there." You said as you recalled about that building.
-.
It was 8 in the night, the night seemed darker than usual. It must have been due to absence of the moon but there was something unsettling about the air around you, it felt chilly.. in a way which gave chills down your spine.
You wondered why Namjoon would call you here out of all places? Was there a secret blood bank in that building?
You didn't realize but you had already reached the said place.
With every step you took inside, you had an unwelcomed eerie feeling, you couldn't exactly tell what made you so nervous yet, you were nervous.
Suddenly you heard a sound coming from one of the floors, you slowly made your way to upstairs.
Upon reaching the roof you noticed someone at a distance, you couldn't clearly see them and only their back was visible to you.
You walked a little nearer and realized that the person was eating somethi-someone??!
You fell down in fright and the person turned around at the sound.
"Ah you're here Y/N!" You became pale the moment you looked at his face, blood was dripping from the corner of his mouth.
And behind him lied Jin's body, you screamed at the horrific sight. "Calm down Y/N, I'm not going to hurt you, here, the AB positive blood you wanted." He crouched down and kept a sealed pack of blood in your hands, your hands which felt paralyzed at his close proximity.
"You've been working a lot with blood, I hope this doesn't gross you out." He said that and proceeded to hug you, you felt suffocated. "Monster." You breathed but Namjoon only tightened the hug.
"Yes baby, we are monsters. Jin never told you that right? We are werewolves and you are my one and only soul mate Y/N." Hearing him say those things so casually made your stomach churn, hot tears started rolling down your cheeks.
He broke the hug and looked at your red eyes, he felt like getting lost at them, you made him so crazy in love with you!
"I love that look in your eyes", he leaned closer as his lips hovered over yours almost touching them, "it's so hot to see you all riled up in rage. But you saw my reality yourself, right? Therefore you better not plan to escape from me ever again."
He lightly squeezed your neck as he indulged himself into kissing your lips, finally claiming you his. A werewolf's kiss seals the soul mate bond forever afterall.
-.
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youmyjhope · 26 days
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Hey can you post namjoon moan just only Namjoon plzz 🥺
do not repost
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alphabetboyluvr · 9 months
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back to you | knj
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REQUEST | @btsgotjams27
VIBES | angst 
SOUNDTRACK | back to you - alexander stewart
HOLLY'S NOTE | tense jaw namjoon gets me feeling a certain type of way so thank youuuu for requesting this!! no warnings - references to shagging cos ofc and approx (1) questionable reference to Saint Augustine lmao. also joonie is 25 in this!! don't shout at me!! i know he's not 25 irl!!
WORD COUNT | 2.5k
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Namjoon watches the metronome on his desk tick... tick... tick..., ignoring the glare of the monitor screens in front of him.
There are two. One's open on the definition of a word that's been lodged in his frontal lobe for months, now, and the other is crammed full to the brim with dark grey producing software that he's sick of seeing. The windows open encase remnants of love songs that he can't seem to finish. 
It's not for a lack of trying. Just impossible, he thinks. 
They're an amalgamation of a love he never thought he'd lose, and the hopes of a future basking in it; notes of adoration dedicated to a devotion he didn't realise was quite so delicate, until his clumsy hands got a hold of it. 
Mementoes for memories he can't bring himself to relive, they sit; solemn, unchanged. It's been like this for months. They're artefacts, now. Relics. Souvenirs. Trophies of a conquest he never entirely won; a bygone era in which his hair was lighter and the sun shone more frequently. Eventually, they'll be laid to rest in the paper waste icon down in the far corner of his screen. 
No good. Not fit for use. Discarded before they've reached full maturity. 
"Maturity," he mimics the screen with great contempt. He's 25. Brain's developed. Science says so. 
And yet the loss he's mourning is all thanks to his perceived 'maturity,' or lack thereof. 
It's not like you're dead, or anything dramatic like that. He knows he's being irrational. Knows his immaturity is shining through as he wallows in self-pity, four empty takeout cups of coffee waiting to be thrown away on the edge of his desk. He only leaves the studio to shower. 
Doesn't even really sleep much these days. Has grown a little stubble; wonders if maybe that would make you think he was more mature. More grown-up. He sneers a little as he jots down a lyric idea; something about fine wine, how it ages, and how it was ironic you preferred cheap-as-shit soju instead of the bottles in his cooler.
In fact, when he really thinks about it, Namjoon thinks you were fucking mad to cite 'maturity' as a reason for you to break up. 
He's old before his time; grew up quickly cause he didn't have a choice. Took it as an insult when you said 'we're at different stages in our lives.' Knows damn well he'd have stood on any stage with you. Fuck Wembley, fuck Jamsil, fuck SoFi. Fuck 'em all if they meant he couldn't have you.
But Namjoon would never give it up. You knew this at the time, and truthfully, so did he. 
You would have never asked him to - but you can't dictate your life around him, and his plans, and his obligations. You've desires and goals of your own. Five years his senior, the impending pressures of your friends settling down - celebrating milestone anniversaries, moving back to your hometown to raise their families after their wild twenties spent in the big cities - was getting to you. It felt like you were lagging behind. 
Whether either of you liked it or not, your relationship was a huge factor in that. You couldn't even tell your friends you were dating him. It's not like you ever wanted a huge legacy, but the erasure of your history together hurt. 
A year of your life has been lost to a relationship that you can never speak of. There's an NDA. And even if there wasn't, you've too much respect for him to ever go against his wishes, or put him in a situation that could implode everything he's worked so tirelessly for.
So yeah, maybe you were out of line when you said he was immature, but no adult woman wants to live her life in hiding.
Nor does he - but he thinks the fact he that makes the conscious choice to live his life so privately is mature. Thinks if you were ever to call him, he'd block you. Show you what immature really looks like.
But you never do, so he never will.
Instead, he just scoffs again. "Immature," he mutters, shaking his head as he slouches into his desk chair. It spins ever so gently, Namjoon too irritated to stop it - but then he's facing the sofa and he's right back where he started.
See, Namjoon has been thinking a lot about you lately. It's time to submit his mixtape to the company; time for them to approve it for release. Trouble is, he hasn't been able to work on it since you left. 
You've been in California for eight months. Since last August. Eight fucking months, and he hasn't touched a single thing, because it's all tainted with you. Stained. Ruined. 
It's your favourite classical symphony sampled beneath the opening track; your lyrical suggestion in the bridge of his third track; your name he wordplays into obscurity on his fifth track. No one would ever be able to decipher it. It's just for him.
A little bit of you preserved forevermore; from a time when you were still his.
Kind of like the folder his mouse is hovering over. 
It's password protected. Called 'drafts'. Looks inconspicuous. Just another plain folder icon. Nothing interesting. At least, it looks that way. 
He can't bring himself to get rid of it - and yet the tick... tick... tick... of his metronome becomes the click-click-click of his mouse as he follows the electronic pathway back to you.  
Namjoon enters the password. Knows he shouldn't. Knows he should also change the password, because typing in your birthday is fucking painful at this point.  
There are six files in the folder. Voice notes. Audio files marked with dates and time stamps of last summer. 
Above anything, he knows he shouldn't press play.
But he's 'immature'. Of course he'll do what he shouldn't - or at least that's how the voice in his head taunts him as he presses down on the play icon.
"Is it going?" Your voice echoes into the room. You giggle. Namjoon hears himself confirm that it is. He can picture it now. Remembers the shirt of his you'd been wearing after he'd snuck you into the company building. Knows exactly which part of his studio sofa you'd been on. "Okay, okay. Cool. What do you want me to do?"
"Just speak."
His voice sounds tender. Far softer than it does these days. He thinks he's grown since back then. Thinks he's matured. Thinks maybe if you'd have met him now, instead of then, perhaps it would have lasted.
"About what?" You had said with a laugh, and Namjoon finds himself burying his head in his hands at his desk.
"Anything. Everything. Your mind fascinates me, gorgeous."
"You're the one with genius-level, IQ," you had fondly teased him. "No one more fascinating than you. Did you really have to wear those sweats, though? You know they turn my mind to jelly."
"I can take them off, if it'll help."
"Keep them on," your voice had lowered. In the studio, Namjoon groans into his hands. Knows what's coming next. "Wanna see how much of a mess I make when I ride your-"
His nimble fingers race to the space bar, pausing the audio clip. Has listened to it enough times to know exactly what happens afterwards. 
It's not like he needs the recording to remember. He remembers it all. 
Remembers the semi he'd had at the time, and how the way you'd looked at him had him growing to full stiffness. Remembers the way you'd carried on talking nonsense when you were straddled across his thigh; and the way the conversation had dissolved into you being incredibly vocal about exactly what you wanted him to do with you. To you. For you.
And so it had become a goal: he'd been after the perfect moan to hide deep within the layers of his closing track. Would record you every now and again in the midst of a fuck. Would tell you how good you sound, how much he wants the world to hear you. Would say shit like 'you've got a voice that'll ruin lives, gorgeous,' or something about Augustine, and how he'd have never converted to celibacy if he'd have met you. Would whine along with you, and thank the lucky stars his apartment spanned over two floors - his poor neighbours probably would have complained, otherwise. 
He puffs out his cheeks and sighs. Tilts his head back against the top of his chair, and lets his hand fall to his crotch. He palms it slightly; firm from the thoughts of your clammy body sticking to his, and the musky scent that he wished he could have bottled up for times like these.
"Get a grip," he berates himself, and spins back to the desk. He needs to get his feelings out. Speak them into existence. Admit that he misses you, and that he's been a bit of a mess since you've been gone. His mental block isn't going away anytime soon, so he may as well try a little honesty in its place. 
He opens up the software for the mic that he keeps on his desk for rough recordings, and clicks on the red circle. Kind of feels kind of like a stop sign to him.
"Stop what?" he questions into the void. "Thinking about her? Avoiding her favourite coffee shop, even though it was mine too? Wasting all this fucking space in my brain like it's a storage unit for memories of her? I don't want them. I don't need them. Why can't I let them go? Why is she still in my head? And why am I scared of the day she won't be?"
He rambles and he rambles. Cries not once but four times.  Goes on and on about why you're the fucking worst, and then he spirals into how much he loves the way you laugh, and how he's never felt anything better than your arms wrapped around his waist. Gushes about how committed you are to your work, and how much he's in awe of the way you prioritise yourself. Is proud when he mentions your achievements; is pissed off when he mentions the little quirks of yours he didn't love.
They're lies, of course. He loved everything you did - but it makes him feel better to feign hatred.
Makes him feel like it was his choice. Like he's the one who left. 
He's pulled from his thoughts when his phone begins to ring. It's on loud, so he lets it ring for a bit. Knows it could sound good on the recording. He reaches over for his phone and rubs his spare hand over his face to psyche himself up. 
It's probably just Yoongi, he thinks, like it normally is, wondering if he's at the office building. He doesn't check the caller ID - just answers it and automatically switches to speakerphone. 
"Wassup?" He says into the receiver, far chirpier than he was during his rant. He's still a little dry, but he's performing now. Pretending like everything is fine.
There's a moment of silence. Namjoon's eyes flick to his phone screen. Checks the caller ID. Blood runs cold.
And then, there's a 'hey.' 
Namjoon is the silent one, now. Doesn't know what to fucking say - and thankfully, you hate empty spaces in conversations. 
So you fill it. 
"I quit my job," you tell him. 
Why you think he would care is beyond him.
But the last he knew, you loved your job. Something feels... uneasy within him. He remains silent. Lets you speak.
"There's a red-eye flight that leaves in four hours. LA to Seoul. I know it's..." You cut yourself off, struggling to find the right words to say. "Look, I know it's been eight months, and I know it's been rough. I thought I could do this whole 'life' thing without you, Nam, but... Fuck. I don't think I can. I... I think maybe I was the one who needed to mature. I know I put you through hell, but if I get on that flight, will you be there at the other end?"
It's a simple question, really - yes or no - yet it feels so much heavier than that. Feels like commitment. Feels like something he isn't ready for. Feels like something you rescinded your right to a long fucking time ago.
And so Namjoon laughs. It's cold. Is guaranteed to make you cry. He doesn't care.
"No."
The call ends, his finger forcefully tapping on the red button of his phone. He knows it'll hurt. Thinks 'good'. Reckons you deserve it. 
But then he's scrambling; dialling your number back, holding his phone to ear, stomach in his throat, heart in tatters, swallowing back tears that threaten to fall on his part. 
Being a cunt was much less satisfying than he thought it would be. In fact, if anything, it makes him feel even fucking worse. 
All he wants is to see you. It's the only thing he wants.
You take a while to answer. He was right. It did make you cry. Mainly because you know you do deserve it. 
There's no 'hello' when you answer. You say sorry, instead. "It was out of line for me to ask."
"Yeah," he says. "Kinda was."
"I just... I had to know. Eight months is a long time, isn't it? It's really fucking long."
Namjoon pauses. Bites down on his lip as it shakes. Sighs. "The flight... when does it land?"
"Nine-thirty."
"A.M.?"
"Yes."
"Into Incheon?"
"Uh-huh."
He can hear the tears you're fighting. Wonders if you can hear his. 
"Get the flight," he finally says. "I'll meet you there."
"Wait... are you sur-"
He doesn't let you finish. He's had eight months of fucking torture without you. Eight months to think about all the things he wishes he could have done differently, eight months to play scenarios in his head. Eight months. 
He can't go through it again. Can't be without you. It's too fucking hard. 
"Get your ass on that flight," he says, stern in his tone. 
"It's one-way," you warn him.
And even though you can't see him, you know there's a dimple in his cheek. Know he's smiling. Know it feels like a weight has lifted from his chest, because it feels that way for you, too.
"It better fucking be."
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m1lli0nk1ss3s · 2 months
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home is knj.
life feels so shitty rn but dw atleast this planet has namjoon <3
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hyunnows · 5 months
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WHO YOU GONNA CALL | M.LIST
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A series of tapes describing Namjoon's life since joining the Supernatural Investigation Unit.
PAIRING(S) | Namjoon x reader
THEMES | cop!au, x-files!au, ghostbusters!au, cop!Namjoon, cop!reader, youtuber!Seokjin, youtuber!Taehyung, ghosts, conspiracies, cryptids, the paranormal, and the supernatural are main subjects
RATING | pg13
SERIES/BTS TAGLIST: @imbonibi @fangirl125reader @geniejunn @akshreads @6-ucci @mickmoon @betysotelo18 @hgema
Navigation | Taglist
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PARTS: Tape #1 | Tape #2 | Tape #3 | Tape #4 | +
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PREVIEW
“The X-Files, the damn X-Files,” Namjoon mutters to himself, reclipping his tie to his shirt–he wasn’t a real detective yet, he didn’t need to look like one yet either. 
He takes slow, dragging steps towards the door in the corner of the precinct. He dreads opening the door, his distaste increasing when he hears the loud shuffling of papers and quiet rock music barely making it past the door. Fuck it. 
He swings the door open to be met with complete and utter chaos. The office is far past disorganized. There are files everywhere, tapes, cameras, and photographs all placed haphazardly across both wooden desks. He cringes when he notices the boxes filled with the same materials stacked all around the room. Not to mention the overflowing drawers with papers practically falling out of them.
The sound of papers being tugged out of a drawer catches his attention, the cacophony leading him to see a figure slumped over a file cabinet, sipping hot chocolate from a ‘repurposed’ ramen styrofoam cup. Awkwardly, he clears his throat. “Hello?”
You snap to look at him, a distressed looking uniform hanging from your figure. Swallowing the coco in your mouth, you greet him excitedly, “Oh, hi there. You must be Namjoon, right? My new partner?”
Not for long, he thinks to himself, before nodding. “That would be me. You’re [Y/N], right?”
“Yes I am. Are you excited to be in the SIU?”
“Not really, I’m sort of a skeptic, to be honest. Ghosts and cryptids and all that aren’t really my thing, I prefer science,” Namjoon says, eyes wandering the towers of paperwork.
You scrunch your face at the slight bit of arrogance in his tone, but shrug it off. “Oh, can’t relate. Personally, I’m a believer. You spend a while here and you might become one as well.”
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Navigation | Taglist
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Text
Notes & Pages
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Pairing: Namjoon x Un-namedFem!OC
Genre: Romance, Dark (a bit)
Summary: A series of diary entries that detail a spiral into the chaos called love- (or was it?)
Word Count: ~1.4k words
——————————————————————
Kim Namjoon, after years of work, has finally managed to conquer all. In the bustling world of music production, he stood as a visionary—a maestro whose keen ear and creative genius brought forth melodies that touched souls.
His own production house.
His own label.
His own art studio.
Everything was within Namjoon’s grasp- and it is at these points in one’s life that Fate begins to truly test you.
. . . . . .
He saw her at the one exhibition he was planning on skipping.
He had been looking around when he saw her, her head tipped back as her eyes sparkled with curiosity so brightly that Namjoon could make out their shine from this far.
He approached her, got her name and continued to do rounds with her, the full pieces not colourless anymore, as she spoke about her favourite pieces and very bluntly criticised one of his favourite artists, but instead of getting angry he became intrigued with her perspective. He wanted to know her more. He needed to know more.
Entry #1 Today the smells are sharper, the colours brighter. I don’t know why I feel as if I can run on water and conquer the clouds. What… what is this feeling? Am I dying?
So imagine his surprise when the object of his fixation walked into the office the very next day as one of the junior music producers they had recently hired.
She was a rare gem, her beauty captivating not only his eyes but also his heart. Her presence was like a melody that summons the dead, vibrating deep within his being, igniting a passion he had never known.
It wasn’t long before Namjoon became obsessed, unable to escape the allure she cast upon him so naively. The monster she had awoken so unknowingly.
Her every move, every word she spoke, became a source of inspiration and desire, fuelling the depths of his creativity and depravity.
Entry #32: In the stillness of the night, her image dances in my mind, a flickering flame that refuses to be extinguished. Oh, how I long to hold her, to feel the warmth of her presence against my skin. Her every word, every gesture, is etched into the depths of my soul, haunting me with a bittersweet ache. I am consumed by her, by the mere thought of her. The melodies I compose are but a desperate attempt to capture the essence of her ethereal beauty, to make her a permanent fixture in my world. But alas, she remains a distant dream, a vision I can only glimpse from afar.
He watched her from afar, studying her with an intensity that bordered on obsession that threatened to shift tectonic plates. The way she demurely yet effortlessly commanded attention, her enchanting laughter, and the grace with which she navigated the world—all became the fuel that ignited his musical compositions and coloured his previously dreamless slumbers. Every melody, every lyric, bore her essence, a testament to the power she held over his soul.
Entry #85: I watch her from far, my eyes tracing every curve, every line of her graceful form. Oh, how I yearn to be the one who elicits that captivating smile, to be the cause of that radiant joy that lights up her eyes. But I am but a shadow in her world, a presence she may never truly notice. It is a cruel irony that the very talent that has brought me acclaim and success is the same talent that keeps me distant from the one I desire most. And so, I remain here, caught in a web of longing and admiration, forever yearning for a connection that may forever elude my grasp.
But he didn’t let it hold him back- nothing could keep him from his muse, as he sauntered into her life and placed a throne upon her mind like an arrogant king.
Building familiarity, finding out that *he* was the reason that she decided to become a producer, had his heart threatening to burst out of his chest and right into her hands, where it belonged.
He found solace in the knowledge that his creations resonated with her, even if she remained unaware of the depth of his obsession.
Entry #151: She is the muse I never knew I needed, the missing piece in the symphony of my life. Her laughter is the sweetest melody, her touch a gentle harmony that resonates within me. I am driven by an insatiable hunger to possess her, to claim her as mine, and yet, I am torn. How can I bridge the chasm between admiration and possession? Can I love her without suffocating her, without stifling the very essence that draws me to her? These questions torment my restless heart, but I am determined to find a way. For she is not just a fleeting infatuation; she is the muse who breathes life into my music, the one who has awakened a passion I never knew existed.
Namjoon needed to be near her, to breathe, to live, to bask in the radiance of her presence. His mind spun webs of fantasies, envisioning a future where their worlds merged, where her ethereal beauty would forever be intertwined with his music.
Entry #275: Her presence is like a melody that lingers in my mind, playing on an endless loop. Every time I close my eyes, I see her face, illuminated by a soft glow. How I wish I could reach out and touch her, to feel the warmth of her skin against mine. But she remains just beyond my grasp, a mirage that I can never fully capture. I am consumed by this unrequited love, a love that burns like a wildfire, threatening to consume me whole. And yet, I cannot tear myself away. I am drawn to her like a moth to a flame, helpless to resist the magnetic pull she exerts on my heart.
He meticulously curated events, ensuring that their paths would cross, that he would have opportunities to share his compositions with her. With each encounter, his heart beat faster, his obsession intensifying with every stolen glance.
Entry #315: In the quiet moments of solitude, I find myself lost in a sea of thoughts, drowning in the depth of my own desires. I am entangled in a web of contradictions, torn between the desire to possess her and the need to set her free. How can I reconcile the intensity of my emotions with the boundaries of her autonomy? Can I love her without suffocating her, without diminishing the very essence that makes her so captivating? These questions haunt my every waking moment, and yet, I am willing to endure the torment if it means I can bask in her presence, even from afar."
Namjoon couldn't help but feel possessive in a different way. He treasured every moment with them, cherishing their laughter, their touch, and their shared intimacy. Namjoon would often find himself unconsciously placing a hand on their lower back, silently claiming them as his own, sending a message to the world that they belonged to him and him alone.
Entry #346: "Her mere existence is a testament to the power of beauty and art. She moves through life with a grace that leaves me breathless, her every step a delicate dance. And yet, she remains unaware of the profound impact she has on my soul. I am but a mere mortal, humbled by her radiance. My music, my compositions, are but feeble attempts to capture the essence of her spirit, to immortalize her in melodies that will transcend time. Oh, how I long to share my creations with her, to witness her reaction and know that I have touched her heart as she has touched mine."
Namjoon would cast glances towards anyone who dared to look at his partner with anything but respect, his piercing gaze serving as a warning to back off.
He was spiralling- he was coming undone in the throws of love. He was contemplating carnage. He was contemplating war in her name.
The world would drown in his deepening obsession. The world would be set ablaze.
.
.
But will she remain untouched by the flames?
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ggukzashi · 1 year
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Black Pearl Pt. 2
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Pairing: Namjoon × reader ft. Ot7
Rating: Adult, Explicit
Genre:NonIdolAu,BodyguardAu,Angst,Smut,Fluff
Word Count: 1.9k
Summary: You're with your friends drinking when suddenly your entire life is flipped around. You find yourself trapped in a house with 7 men you don't know and their Alpha gets on your nerves a little too much. What do you do when you realize that you like their leader and you're not supposed to? Can you resist giving in and sticking to your belief of no relationships or do you give in to the temptation?
Warnings ⚠️: Cursing
Author's Note: I decided to write this series inspired by Namjoon in a black turtleneck ( yes I'm weak and I know y'all are too). It's my first time writing a series so please do let me know your thoughts and engage with the post.
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Chapter Two
“Namjoon.”
It almost feels like an instant reaction, the way it rolls off of your tongue so easily. Almost like it’s a name you’ve known for a while. Your thoughts are interrupted when you hear your phone ringing. You pull it out of your purse that you managed to grab before you had to leave the club. Before you get the chance to answer, Namjoon grabs it out of your hand harshly.
“What the fuck?” You yell.
“Give me my phone back,” you demand, your hands crossed against your chest. Namjoon quickly pulls the car over and slides the SIM card out of your phone before throwing it out of the window. Your eyes shoot open at his action. You're about to yell at him again when you hear a gunshot in the distance.
"Sit back," Namjoon orders in a voice that leaves no place for argument, as he presses on the accelerator and speeds away from the location. He reaches his arm to the back seat with ease and retracts his walkie-talkie.
"How the fuck are they trailing us?” He asks and you can hear another voice answer through the mic.
"They must have pinged her phone location hyung."
"I just destroyed the SIM card,” he groans out in frustration.
You turn around and see a black car right behind you. Your heartbeat picks up its pace immediately and your eyes widen. "Namjoon, they're right behind us,” you cry out, your eyes fixated on the car trailing right behind you.
"I'm on it. Don’t worry," he says and before you know it, you're in a chase with the car behind you. Namjoon quickly maneuvers his own vehicle into a small lane nearby and follows along an internal route. You manage to lose the car and catch your breath as you're back on the road.
"We lost them, right?" You ask nervously and Namjoon turns his head to look at you.
"Why the fuck didn't you tell me you had your phone?” He says, instead of answering your question. “Do you even know how dangerous of a situation you're in right now? They probably would be still right behind us had I not found out about your phone,” he yells as you purse your lips together with a sniffle escaping your lips.
There’s an unspoken tension in the air surrounding you. If it was anyone else, you’d have yelled back but there’s something about him. An aura of dominance exudes from him that makes you nervous. You observe how his jaw clenches in anger, his hands gripping the steering wheel tighter, his knuckles turning white. You notice his biceps flexing underneath his black turtleneck as he runs his hands through his jet-black hair.
Goddamn.
You gulp before you shake your thoughts off. The man yelled at you and you’re here drooling. Jeez, get a grip, Y/n.
"I'm here in your car and I don't even know you. I don't know where my friends and family are. I haven't eaten a morsel in the last four hours. I'm drunk and vulnerable and there are a bunch of men with guns after me. You think I'm having any fun here?" You scream back, almost in the same harsh tone, he’s been using since earlier.
For a second you see his gaze soften but you quickly look away and stare out the window, looking at the night sky instead. You aren’t one to take shit from others, especially from one of your dad’s minions and you want to make sure he knows that.
Being tired and hungry, you end up falling asleep.
~the next day~
You wake up to the feeling of sunlight hitting you. Your eyes slowly open, adjusting to the brightness of the room, your head pounding from all the vodka shots. Last night’s events flood through your head and you grunt out in frustration. As you look down, you realize you’re wearing what seems to be a man’s t-shirt.
“Who changed my clothes now?” You whine as you get out of bed and make your way out. As you open the door, more sunlight hits you and you squint your eyes.
“The fuck? Is this Edward Cullen’s house or what?” You question as you follow the staircase and make your way downstairs. Your eyes immediately land on a man leaning against the kitchen counter, his eyes glued to your legs as you walk in further.
“Morning,” he says, his voice sweet and soft. Your eyes land on the way his abs peek through his shirt when he stretches his hands up in the air. You roll your eyes and open the fridge to grab some water.
“Had a rough night I presume,” he speaks again, his tone a little raspier but no less soft. You have a few sips of water and put the bottle back in. The moment you close the fridge, the stranger stands right next to you. You almost yell out loud but his hands are quick to cover your mouth, his eyes staring directly into yours. You notice his lips curve up into a playful smile as he runs his tongue along his bottom lip.
You quickly push him off of you as you hear footsteps. Your eyes dart to the hallway, where Namjoon walks in wearing a pair of blue sweatpants. Only sweatpants. Your jaw drops at the sight of his hard muscular chest and curved abs on display, choking on your own spit. The biceps that you had been eying since you sat in the car with him were now visible to you pretty clearly. As the heat rushes to your cheeks, you notice the way his sweatpants hang low on his hips.
Namjoon looks up at you and the angelic stranger standing at your side, his brows furrowed in confusion. “Morning hyung,” he greets, his voice sounding chirpier than earlier. Namjoon just nods in response before walking away from the situation.
The man turns to you and sticks out his hands. “I’m Jimin. Nice to meet you.”
“I’m Y/n, but I guess you already know that.”
Your eyes dart back to where Namjoon was standing just a few seconds ago and thoughts run through your head. “Hey, meeting in two” You hear a deep voice speak. Your head shoots up as your eyes land on the man in front of you, running his fingers through his long dark curls. You notice the way his eyes scan your body before landing on Jimin standing next to you. His brows knit in confusion as he signals Jimin to move with his eyes.
“Wait” you yell out as Jimin walks over to the dark-haired man. You quickly walk towards them.
“What meeting?” you question, your eyes squinting in confusion. The two men look at each other before the dark-haired man speaks up, “Namjoon hyung called for all 7 of us to assemble to discuss further plans”
“Can I come with?” you ask.
“Well, he told all 7 of us to gather so..” the man’s voice trails off. You roll your eyes at his response.
“Aren’t you all here for MY safety?” you say and Jimin shrugs before responding, “Fair enough. Come along.” As the three of you walk towards one of the rooms in the safe house, you look around admiring the simplicity of the house.
Jimin pushes open the door of a room and you see Namjoon talking to someone over the phone. The other guys seem to be engaged in conversation as you slowly sit down not wanting to draw attention to yourself.
“Why is she here?” Namjoon speaks, his voice coming off deeper than usual. You roll your eyes at his question before responding, “Because I wanted to” crossing your arms, staring down at him. You notice the way his jaw clenches at your snappy response.
“It's only fair we start by introducing ourselves right?” one of the men sitting next to you says. You notice the softer features on his face, his smile bright.
“Jung Hoseok at your service,” he says doing a little bow making you giggle at his actions.
“The name’s Seokjin,” The older one says and the others start chuckling at his introduction. Your eyes dart to namjoon and you notice how at ease he seems with the other guys. His eyes meet yours and a soft smile appears on his face. He fucking smiled. You feel your heart almost skip a beat at the sight of his dimples. You quickly look away and try to focus on the ongoing conversation instead.
“Lol boomer,” the seemingly younger man says giggling as Seokjin glares at him. You notice the way he plays with the ring near the right corner of his lip. “I’m Jungkook. Unlike Jin hyung, if you wanna hang out with the cool people hit me up.” you chuckle at his statement and you hear Hoseok whisper to you.
“You’re about to witness Jin hyung’s iconic rap yelling”
Sure enough, Jin does start yelling, dragging out his words as the younger man throws his head back, everyone laughing. You don’t recognize the smile on your face. It feels so natural to laugh around these people you’ve never even met before. Your mind takes you back to the dinner table at your house, back in Seoul where all you ever experienced was anger, sadness, and silence.
“I’m Taehyung. Nice to meet you” the deep voice of the dark-haired man brings you back to reality. You notice the smile playing on his lips, in complete contrast to his deep, manly voice.
“That’s Yoongi hyung” Hoseok says pointing to one of the men with long black hair, sleeping peacefully.
“Someone willing to volunteer as tribute?” Jimin asks as your brows furrow in confusion.
“I vote for Jimin,” Jungkook says and the others nod in approval. “Why me?” Jimin rolls his eyes before tugging at Yoongi’s hand and yelling into his ears ‘wake up’.
“Fucking hell. Can’t sleep peacefully for one second in this goddamn household full of lunatics.” Yoongi complains as his eyes barely open, still adjusting to the bright lighting of the room.
“Stop complaining cat man,” Jimin says laughing at Yoongi’s half-awake state.
“Now that we’re done with introductions can we get into the important stuff” Namjoon speaks, his dominant leader mode taking control, the softer side completely dissolving into the atmosphere.
He opens up his phone and slides it over to you. You see a tanned man with a scruffy-looking beard. “Do you recognize him?” Namjoon asks and you shake your head.
“As per our intel, he is the one who fired the shots at the club.” You look down again taking a closer look at the man. “I’ve never seen him,” you say shaking your head and Namjoon sighs in response.
“As much as we are here in a safe house, we must be on alert at all times. Never underestimate the enemy” he says and everyone nods in response.
“We also have only three bedrooms and before you all fight to death over being roomies, Jin hyung and I came up with a list of the least chaotic combinations. Jin hyung and Jimin will be in one room. Hobi and Tae can sleep in the living room. Yoongi and Kook will be in one room.”
“Wait where are you and I sleeping?” you ask and the realization hits you that you’re fucked.
You're gonna be sharing a room with Namjoon.
Taglist: @kookznoona @souryoong @gukkie01
Special thanks to @gukkie01 for proposing this idea. Love you ♡.
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