#namjoon series | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cravetive · 3 months

Text

THE MESS WE LEAVE BEHIND

❈ Pairings: Namjoon x F!reader , Jimin x F!reader

❈ Genre/Au: M (18+);smut;Marriage Au;Namjoon x Jimin best friends! Cheating! Angst.

❈ Synopsis: Falling in love with your husband’s best friend was not at all how you imagined your life to go, and his return has you unraveling under the lies you’ve created to keep your family.

❈ Warnings: smut, dirty talk, thigh riding, foul language, mentions of cheating, fingering, hair pulling, unprotected sex (don't do it), pregnancy, Namjoon is a angel from above, Angst, riding, Y/n is a mess, pet names ( baby) , Angst with no alleviation, spanking, orgasms , mentions of arousal, did i say angst?

❈ Word Count: 8.0 K sumthing brief

❈ Authors Note: I don't know how to feel about this, but I was compelled to write it so bone apple teeth Y'all! btw, i did not proofread this.

“As for the dog, he’s still riding that log” Namjoon read from the child book in his hand as he brushed his other hand through his daughter's hair. “What a crazy dog” Namjoon chuckled at his daughter but as he looked down, he noticed the now-sleeping child resting peacefully on his chest. He observed closely as his daughter snored softly, a smile rising to his face. Namjoon recalled the first time he had heard he was going to be a father, he remembered how nervous he had been, fear quickly consuming him and filling him with doubt.

He didn’t think himself capable or worthy of ever filling the role of a father but as soon as he saw her little face for the first time, he knew he didn’t want to be anything else but her dad.

Now she was 6 months old, and he couldn’t even understand why he had been so nervous in the first place. She was his entire world, and he was hers. Before her arrival, he looked for meaning in everything, trying to find something missing in himself but now, having his daughter asleep peacefully on his chest, he discovered it was all that he needed.

He carefully laid the book down and proceeded to softly move her into her crib, covering her with a blanket and leaving a sweet kiss on her forehead. He walked towards the door and held onto the light switch, looking at his sleeping child one last time before turning off the lights.

He took a deep breath and walked towards his kitchen, softly humming a lullaby to himself.

“You know, I think I'm going to open a daycare in the museum” he spoke as he stepped inside the kitchen. His wife giggled loudly from where she stood putting away the dishes. “a daycare? In the art museum?” she asked, a laugh pouring out afterward. He chuckled as he reached her, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind and planting a kiss on top of her head.

“I just think it will allow me to see Harumi more” he explains, leaning his chin on Y/n shoulder. He closes his eyes as he breathes in her scent. Finding comfort in the familiar smell of her Coco Channel perfume. “Namjoon, it’ll be hard for her to incorporate herself into her daycare if you keep this up” Y/n whines.

“Fine, but it's not easy for me” he replies, burying his face into the crook of her neck.

“I can't imagine not seeing her chunky cheeks for 8 hours every day” he continues “It’ll be torture!” he chuckles.

“We have to go back to work eventually, Joon” Y/n responds.

“6 months is not enough time” he exhales, looking up at his wife.

“Joon, you are the best curator they have” Y/n voices “I know they have been in shambles since you left.”

“well, what about you? how do you think they have been doing without their top exhibit designer?” he mocks, a mischievous smile forming on his lips.

“oh god, please try to make this easier for me” she groans “If we are both reluctant to return to work, how will we feed her?” she asks, a giggle pouring along with it.

“Fine but I'm talking to the board of directors regarding this family leave thing, it should be way more than 6 months” he pouts whilst Y/n nods in agreement.

He reaches for her glass of wine and takes a gulp. “Hey!” she protests, slapping his arm playfully “That’s my wine.” “What do we say? Sharing is caring Y/n” he says, side-eying his wife. She rolls her eyes and turns on her feet, snatching the glass of wine from his hand.

“How was bedtime today? Did she give you trouble?” she asks, taking a drink from her glass.

“I gave her the dad special” he brags, wiggling his eyebrows which causes another laugh to fall from Y/n’s mouth. “I read her a bedtime story and she was out like a light” he smiles, recalling his daughter sound asleep in her room. Y/n joins his smile and leans into his chest, burying her cheek against it. He moves his arms around her, pushing her into him and swaying side to side.

“You know, I’ll miss this” he comments, looking down at her. She pushes herself slightly and looks up at Namjoon. She doesn’t speak, only admiring the man who towers over her, and she swears she has never felt more loved by someone in her entire life. “Me too” she hums, pushing herself on tiptoes and planting a warm kiss on his full lips.

“But as we promised, despite our busy schedules we will make a habit of coming home before 5 pm and making dinner” she reminds him, pulling away. He gives her his famous dimply smile and leans forward to plant another kiss on her lips.

“Do you think I can take her to the museum?” he insists, and Y/n laughs and shakes her head.

“Absolutely not, last time I let you take her Jin almost kidnapped that poor child” Y/n answers, giving him a disapproving glance. They both join in loud laughter that echoes inside the room. “In his defense, she is very cute,” Namjoon says with a fond look.

Once the laughter subsides, they stand in silence. Namjoon stares into Y/n’s admiring his wife. To this day he tokens himself as the luckiest man alive for being able to call her his, he loses himself in her eyes.

“You know I love you right?” he hums, brushing her hair back and giving her a small peck on her forehead.

Y/n giggles and moves away from Namjoon's embrace, setting her empty wine glass inside the sink.

She leans onto it for a moment, pressing her lips together. She ponders on the question she has wanted to ask for some time now but has been hesitant to. She looks over at her husband and observes as he types away calmly on his phone. “babe” she calls for him, he hums in response, but his attention remains on the screen.

“When will Jimin be back?” she asks, her voice a mere whisper almost as if she doesn’t want him to hear her ask.

He removes his eyes from the screen in front of him and looks over at his wife, a sigh leaves his lips. “Uhm, I'm not too sure really” he answers “He’s been touring all of Europe, he’s in Spain now actually” he notes which makes Y/n nod slowly. She diverts her eyes back to the sink where she has sat her wine glass, and she proceeds to pick it back up.

“More wine?” Namjoon asks, raising his eyebrows in surprise.

Y/n offers him a cheeky smile and goes to grab the half-empty bottle of cabernet.

“Just a bit more” she giggles.

She pours herself another glass and hums when the burgundy liquid touches her lips.

“Alright, I'll head to bed now” Namjoon whispers, laying one more kiss on her wife's lips and disappearing through the door.

It is only when she hears their bedroom closing that she allows herself to unravel in tears. She grips onto the counter, attempting to not collapse on her knees.

It has been like this for months, even before she had Harumi and married Namjoon. She feels like she's walking on needles every day. The burden of the secret that she carries weighs her down, making it impossible for her to enjoy the life she has created for herself. She has wanted to come clean, has wanted to be brave enough to tell someone, anyone about what has been happening to her but she's unable. She isn’t capable of breaking Namjoon's heart.

She’s unwilling to take away from him that he has yearned for all this time.

So, she pretends. She contains all these feelings in her chest, and she carries on with her days as a happy wife and mother all while she collapses inside. She is a good person, an honest person. but somehow, she has found herself in this crippling situation. Withholding the truth from a man who deserves the world, crying herself numb when he leaves the room.

“I'll meet you at the entrance” Namjoon spoke excitedly, almost running through the halls of the museum. “Joon, please relax” Y/n giggles through the phone. “I want to help you with the stroller” he huffs, nearing the lobby of the National Museum of Modern and Contemporary Art. Being the persuasive man he was, Namjoon had been able to secure a daycare ward in the museum, making it possible for all employees to bring their children to work during their shifts.

“I don’t even want to know how you were able to get this done” Y/n speaks whilst Namjoon jogs towards his wife and daughter. He gives her a wide smile and raises his brows. “it's best you don’t know” he replies, reaching for Harumi and pulling her out of the stroller. He carries her in his arms and gives her a soft kiss on her plump cheeks.

“I’ve missed you, Haru” he sings into her little ears.

He looks back at Y/n who struggles with closing the stroller in her hands.

“All alright, come on let's switch” he chuckles, handing Harumi over to Y/n and beginning to close the stroller. “6 months and I still don’t know how that works” Y/n hisses. Namjoon laughs, looking back at his family. “it’s really simple, Yn” Namjoon advises. “Simple for you” Y/n retorts.

They join hands and begin to walk into the halls of the museum. “I have a meeting soon with one of the investors, but I should be done by 3 pm and then we can have lunch together” he informs Y/n. “Joon, I'm not sure I’ll be done by 3 pm, it's my first time walking into the office again” Y/n replies. Namjoon frowns and gives her a quick saddened glance.

“Fine, then I'll have lunch with Harumi” he then smiles, making a silly face at his daughter which causes her to gift him a gummy smile.

“I don’t know what I will do with you two” Y/n laughs.

“What else but love us” Namjoon responds, laying a quick peck on Y/n’s cheek.

“Hey Namjoon Hyung!” a voice calls, Namjoon looks up and his eyes widen.

“No way!” he almost yells. “Brooo you’re back!” he leaves Y/n’s side and jogs up to the man, embracing him in a tight hug.

“How was Spain?” he asks.

Jimin chuckles and nods his head “It was beautiful, I couldn’t get enough” he replies. “I can tell you have been gone for a year, we’ve missed you around here” Namjoon confesses, slapping his friend's shoulder softly.

Whilst engulfed in his conversation, Namjoon doesn’t notice the way Y/n tenses or the way that she tries to direct her eyes elsewhere but at the 2 men catching up in the hallway. She holds onto Harumi tightly, holding her breath. Her daughter coos up at her but she can't focus. instead, her eyes try to find the closest exit.

“Hey Y/n, guess whose back!” Namjoon cheers and she curses under her breath. She turns and her eyes grow panicked as the two men approach her. She wears her best fake smile and attempts to act natural. “I see, welcome back Jimin,” she says halfheartedly.

“Hey Y/n, nice to see you again” he answers. She shuts her eyes for a moment, begging for someone to stop the dumpster fire that’s about to occur. Y/n’s breath becomes labored the closer he gets; his voice sounds soft in contrast with the way Y/n’s heart beats Uncontrollably against her chest. She musters a small smile, blinking uncomfortably.

Jimin smirks, a taunting stare taking over his eyes as he takes her in for the first time in a year. Her skin appears to glisten under the dim lights around them, her cheeks becoming flushed at his sudden appearance. He looks her up and down, noticing the small changes she has gone through since the day he last saw her. This only makes Y/n grow uneasy as she notices the way he is unable to remove his eyes from her.

“Is this?” his eyes widen, noticing the child she holds in her arms. “Yeah bro, Harumi” Namjoon interjects, causing Y/n to jolt in place. “Wow, she’s huge” he rejoices, reaching forward to touch her small hand. “What is she? 6 months now?” he asks, his eyes looking into Y/n’s for confirmation.

She doesn’t say a word as their eyes collide, his stare provoking her to remain completely still. he gives her a smug smile and then looks back at Harumi. “Yes, can you believe it!” Namjoon says proudly from behind him. Jimin nods knowingly and glances back at Namjoon. “she’s gorgeous” he grins, sharing another look with Y/n. “I’m sure she gets it from her mother” he speaks, dragging his words.

“Oh, come on, give me some credit” Namjoon protests. “I'm sure I gave her some of my good genes.”

“Did you now?” Jimin taunts, his eyes remaining locked with Y/n’s.

“w-well, I have to go” Y/n interrupts, taking a step away from Jimin. He lets go of Harumi's hand and stands up straight, another smirk appearing on his lips. He notes the way Y/n nervously adjusts the strap of the baby bag around her shoulder and turns in the other direction.

“See you around!” He calls after her, lifting his hand and waving.

He remains there, even after Namjoon calls out his name. his eyes stay on the spot where Y/n stood only seconds ago holding her child. His smirk falls and he takes a deep breath before turning to face Namjoon again.

“Ready for the meeting?” Namjoon asks, pointing towards the other direction of the hall.

“Ready as I’ll ever be” Jimin responds, moving towards Namjoon.

“fuck” Y/n mutters as she steps into her office, she throws her purse onto one of the empty seats in front of her desk and runs her hands through her hair. “fuck” she repeats as she unbuttons her blouse and falls back onto her chair. She feels like the room is spinning and the suffocating feeling she has grown so accustomed to, returns. This was not the way she had pictured her first day back at all.

She is unraveling and she knows it. she buries her face into her hands and warm tears begin to pour down her cheeks. She doesn’t know what she has done to find herself in this predicament, but she isn’t brave enough to get herself out of it either. She looks back at a picture framed on her wall. It is a shared photograph between Namjoon, Jimin, and herself. They both look down at her with big smiles as she stares into the camera with a smile of her own.

Her eyes narrow as she slips her hand down to her mouth, covering the sobs that escape it.

| a year and 2 months ago |

“If you aren’t quiet, they will hear us” Jimin pants into Y/n’s ear.

But She's deaf to all reason, overcome with her own pleasure as she moves her clothed pussy against his thigh. Her dress has risen above her ass, soft moans pouring like symphonies past her lips. Her cunt pulsates as she continues grinding herself against him, Jimin’s hands travel to the top of her dress which he rips open causing her to hiss.

He skillfully undoes her bra, his eyes admiring her now-exposed breasts in complete awe. He licks up her chest onto her neck as she throws her head back in pleasure. “God, you are gorgeous” he compliments, bringing one of her nipples into his mouth. He laps his tongue over her sensitive nub while his other hand softly rubs against the other.

“Jimin” she pants, the sensation she is feeling is overwhelming, but she has no plans on stopping, the feeling of his hands and tongue alone giving her a high she never wanted to come down from. She feels Jimin’s hand wander down her body, stopping at her hips where he guides her movements.

“You like that baby?” he moaned breathlessly.

She can’t respond, small whimpers erupting from her mouth whilst she remains in complete euphoria. “You like the way it feels when you rub your hot wet cunt against my thigh, baby?” he purrs, earning another loud moan from Y/n. he smirks, his eyes focusing on her hooded eyes and plump lips. “You want more?” he hums, moving her hips a bit faster against him.

Jimin’s cock pulsates painfully against his pants, begging to be released. He moves forward, trying to find quick relief from the agony of the restraint. He wants to turn her out, to have her screaming his name repeatedly. it is all that he has ever wanted and having her here, dampening his pants as she fucks herself on his leg feels like a complete dream, he just wants to savor this exact moment. He wants to engrave this so deep into his memory that he is never capable of forgetting it.

Y/n slides her hand down to the front of his pants, getting hold of his hardened cock. She glides her hand smoothly, feeling his throbbing head through the fabric. Jimin moans loudly, gripping her waist tighter.

“shhhh” she mutters into his ear, planting a wet kiss below it.

He can feel her quicken her movements, seeking out her release. He captures her mouth into his, his tongue intruding past her lips and dancing against her tongue. His hand moves down to her ass, gripping her skin there.

“Nice and slow baby, I want to see you cum all over my lap” he breathes, pulling away from their kiss. Her scent brings out a certain animalistic surge from him as he watches her eagerness to satisfy herself. “Look at you leave all your juices on my pants, you naughty girl” he chuckles lowly.

“Jimin” she responds, her voice a mere whisper. She’s unable to concentrate as his words bring her closer to her orgasm, her hand moving up and down against his hardened member. His pants are drenched in her arousal, but Jimin adores it, he can't get enough of watching her and he can swear that this is his purpose, that he was brought onto this earth for this exact moment.

“You want to ride me, baby?” He hums, his hand holding onto her face which he brings closer to his, his other hand pushes back loose strands of her hair that have stuck themselves to the sweat forming on her forehead. She nods, eagerly. “Look at me” he commands. She breathes out, her mouth agape. She struggles to keep her eyes open as they look into Jimin’s in complete pleasure.

“Yeah, you want to ride me?” he asks again.

“I wanna ride you, Jimin” Y/n answers, whimpering as he lifts the leg which she straddles.

“How bad do you want it?” he purrs, his thumb pressing against her lips.

She takes his digit into her mouth and sucks, which causes Jimin to whimper painfully.

“Real bad” she moans out.

“Fuck, you look beautiful like this” he notes, his eyes narrowing on her. “I want to fuck you” he groans.

“Fuck me, Jimin” she begs and he almost cums from those words alone. Her voice is soft and raspy and it's enough to disconnect Jimin from all rationality. she’s unable to catch her breath, her hips buckling down on his thigh as his hands come down to grip her ass harshly.

“Fuck, I’ve wanted to see you like this for so long” he confesses, his eyes devouring her state. The way her breasts bounce with every one of her movements, her flushed cheeks, and clammy skin which glistens under the lamp above them.

“How long?” she asks, mustering a smirk on her lips.

“Since the day I met you,” he groans, going back to guide her hips against his lap.

“Steady baby, I'm not in a rush” he hums which brings her to slow down her movements. She feels her panties sticking to her soaking cunt, her hips rotating leisurely. He wanders his hand behind her head and takes a fist full of her hair, pulling back with little force.

He kisses down her throat and continues down to her breasts, he licks along them. giving each of her nipples his undivided attention.

“I'm Cumming, Jimin” she blurts, urgency in her voice.

“Are you?” he asks, teasing her.

“Y-yes” she whines.

“Hold it, baby, I want you to cum on my cock instead” he instructs her whilst pulling her off his thigh. She hisses at the absence of pressure between her legs but allows him to lead her. He remains in his seat, her wet-clothed pussy in front of his face now. She looks down at him, her mouth agape in anticipation of what he will do next.

He can feel his dick quivering as he takes in how engorged she had become. “Look at you baby, you’re drenched” Jimin announces. He runs his fingers against her clit, causing her to jolt towards his touch. He takes the digits away and puts them in his mouth, where he licks her arousal away.

He unbuckles his pants and pulls them down to his knees, Y/n drools at the sight of the imprint of his dick against his underwear. His cock appears painfully constricted and the tip oozes pre-cum which leaves a wet spot against the fabric.

“Come on, baby” he reaches for her waist, bringing her closer. “Be a good girl and come sit on my lap.”

Y/n does as told, lying face down over his lap, her ass in the air.

His hands rub softly against her ass cheeks, the motion causing her legs to squish together, giving friction to her pulsating cunt. She moans loudly, her hands holding onto his leg. Jimin dips his fingers in between her folds, moving them against her cunt. She can feel the blood flowing to her head. The combination of that and his touch, causing her to grow dizzy.

“Do you hear how wet you are for me?” he groans, the sound of her juices lathering his fingers echoing inside the small room. He inserts his pointer and index finger inside her and moans at how warm it feels.

He holds a quick pace, moving his fingers in and out and her pussy begins to cream over his fingers. Y/n yelps, unable to contain the burning feeling in the pit of her stomach. He can feel her wetness dripping onto his bare leg now, the scene in front of him enough for him to nut in that very moment but he holds himself together. He’s more than determined to cum into her pretty pussy and that’s exactly what he will do.

“Oh Jimin” she purrs, closing her eyes in pleasure.

“Wish it was my cock, right?” he asks, his free hand coming down hard against her left ass cheek, leaving a red imprint on the skin there.

“All you have to do is ask,” he says, his fingers moving at a slower pace now.

“Please Jimin” Y/n cries out.

“Please what beautiful?” he teases, licking his lips in admiration.

“Please fuck me Jimin” she begs.

“That sounds delicious coming from your mouth” Jimin coos, his dick continues to twitch against his underwear, and he can't hold out anymore. He wants to fuck her senseless, have her screaming his name at the top of her lungs.

“Come here” he mumbles, removing his fingers from her dripping cunt and guiding her off his lap. He notices how her legs shake while she refrains herself from Cumming. She's such a good girl for him and he wants to reward her.

He removes his boxers and his cock springs out, resting rock solid against his lower abdomen. She straddles him, bringing the head of his cock between her folds, her juices wetting the tip of his dick. He throws his head back in complete rapture. “Oh fuck, fuckk” he groans out. He can feel the heat emitting from her cunt and her arousal leaking down the rest of his shaft.

She moves her hips skillfully, rubbing herself against him. his hands fall onto her waist and his lips search for hers, moaning into her mouth as he slips inside of her smoothly. Her warm and sleek walls push him over the edge as he begins to pound up into her whilst she grinds down onto him.

“Just like that baby” he moans loudly “Just like that, don’t stop” Jimin voices, cheering her on. “Fuck It feels so good” he continues. He closes his eyes shut and hisses fall from his lips. Y/n feels so good, so tight and warm against his palpitating cock. He had been right all along, from the moment he laid eyes on her, he knew she would rock his world and oh, how good was she doing it.

Her tight walls gripped his cock masterfully, his mouth falling open and his brows pushing together as he becomes immersed in complete lust. He never wanted to leave, never wanted to pull out. Soon the sound of their skin slapping together filled the room along with their whimpers and moans that created a melody he never wanted to stop hearing.

He buried his face into her chest, unable to withhold himself from fucking into her hard and fast. Their sweat-clad bodies moving in unison, Y/n embraces him as he rests his hands on her back.

“You feel so good, Jimin” Y/n yelps, his thick cock pushing against her walls. Jimin bites down on his lip, pounding into her uncontrollably. “Fuck uh,” he groans, losing himself in the sensation. He doesn’t care how loud they are or who is listening from the other side of the door. All he cares about is how good her hair smells and about the way she grips his shoulders as she fucks herself on his dick. The sound of her soft moans and the feel of her clammy skin against his becoming his favorite things.

He continues to drill into her, her small whimpers turning into full-blown screams, and he smiles in satisfaction, knowing that he’s the one causing them. Y/n’s legs ache at the tempo, almost collapsing against him. She buries her nails into the skin of his shoulders.

“Jimin, oh Jimin I can’t” she calls out like a prayer.

“Take It, baby, don’t stop now, take all this dick” Jimin growls. his hands gripping onto her waist tightly, Keeping her still as he moves his cock up into her dripping core. He can feel the familiar tingling in the pit of his stomach and he knows he's going to cum soon but that only makes him pick up his pace. He looks up at Y/n, her eyes shut as she throws her head back.

“Jimin, shit I can’t” she yelps, moments later he feels her walls contract around him, and her body spasms as she becomes undone on his dick. Her vision blurs and there's a faint ringing in her ears, her mouth falling open as her orgasm blocks all her senses.

“so fucking sexy” he moans out, admiring how vulnerable she looks under the dimmed light.

His movements begin to falter, unable to hold back anymore. Her walls are still tight around him, urging him to cum into her throbbing cunt. His breath becomes uneven, and he digs his fingers into the skin of her thighs around him trying to keep some of his control but it's too late, he thrusts into her one last time before hot strings of cum shoot into her. Y/n moans at the feeling of his milk filling her up and her legs tremble as both their orgasms leak down her inner thighs.

There's silence as they both struggle to catch their breaths; she looks down at him and it is only then that realization hits her. Her lips tremble and she begins to move away, trying to cover herself with what remains of her torn dress.

Jimin sits up quickly, watching her closely.

“Hey Y/n” he calls out to her softly.

She turns away from him, warm tears pouring down her cheeks.

“What have we done, Jimin” she cries.

Y/n would be lying if she said it was the last time that it happened, that she didn’t become a skilled liar in order to receive the pleasure only Jimin was able to bring to her. She would kiss her boyfriend goodbye under the pretense of work meetings, girl night outs, and a busy schedule all whilst sneaking away to any dark corner available with his best friend. It was wrong and she knew it but that didn’t matter, the only thing that mattered was the way Jimin made her shudder under his touch. He knew her body like it was the back of his hand, and she was addicted.

Now she was condemned to carry this guilt everywhere. The better Namjoon treated her, the heavier it became. She wasn’t capable of ruining what she had built, even if the foundation was shaky. She had a home and a family, and she was happy.

But Jimin’s return threatened it all, threatened everything she had, and she wasn’t too proud to admit that it scared her.

Perhaps, the pleasure she sought was never worth the pain it would cause.

There’s a light knock on her door which causes Y/n to quickly wipe her tears away, she runs her hands through her hair, and buttons up the blouse she wears. “Come in” she instructs, attempting to gather herself before the door opens.

But once it does and she sees who is stepping through it, Y/n regrets the words that have just left her lips. Her heart drops to her gut and she stares wide-eyed as Jimin closes the door behind him.

“Hey,” he says calmly.

Y/n shuts her eyes, throwing her head back in frustration.

“Listen, Jimin I don’t have time right now” she utters, rubbing her temples in an attempt to ease the pounding headache she now has. He blinks, narrowing his eyes as he takes in her disarranged appearance.

“Are you okay?” he asks, quickly moving towards her desk.

She removes her hands against her temple and holds them up in the air.

“don’t, I'm fine” she mumbles.

“you don’t look fine to me” he states. Y/n lifts her head and looks over at him, her gaze holding a certain enmity. “why did you even come here?” her lips tremble as she asks, her eyes filling with tears that she blinks away, aiming to appear okay. “I wanted to come see you, to check up on you” he answers, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

“no” she replies, closing her eyes for a moment and then opening them just as fast. “why did you come back here, why didn’t you stay in Europe” she clarifies. He lowers his gaze and steps away from her desk. “I had to return Y/n, my entire life is here” he answers.

She admits it's true, she knows that his return was inevitable but to say she was prepared for it would be a joke. She thought she would have more time to get her affairs in order or to at least grow some balls and own up to the things she had done.

Namjoon loved her and of that she was sure, but he didn’t know her, not all of her at least.

“I didn’t come here to cause you any trouble, Y/n” Jimin assures her, holding her gaze. He feels his heart ache whilst noticing the way she has become undone in the time he has been gone. If perhaps he hadn’t run like a coward, leaving her to carry their secrets all on her own, she would be less subdued.

But hearing her say she wasn’t able to continue with their affair a year ago had proven to be too much for him to bear because even if he couldn’t tell her he loved her, at least he was giving her a bit of himself in those sheets. Being told he could no longer have access to her, that he couldn’t hold her like he only ever yearned to, well it had hurt him beyond comprehension.

“I can’t do this anymore, Jimin” she sobbed, covering her face in shame. “But I can’t bring myself to tell him the truth either.”

He wanted to reach over and console her, but he doubted that it was something she wanted. she had made that very clear the day before he had booked the first ticket out of South Korea.

“Jimin, we need to stop, I can’t see you anymore” she sobbed. “What we are doing, it's fucked up.”

The memory of that conversation replayed in Jimin’s mind as he stood in silence. It tormented him in the night when he tried to sleep. Pain and guilt tearing him to pieces. He didn’t know what was more fucked up, the fact that he betrayed the man that was like a brother to him or the fact that he never felt bad for it. in his mind, she was worth that and much more. for her, he was willing to betray even himself.

“Which truths are you hesitant to tell?” he asks.

Y/n uncovers her face, her glassy red eyes staring back at him with confusion.

“What do you mean?” she sniffs, rapidly cleaning her tears with the sleeve of her blouse.

“Well, which truth can’t you tell him” He repeats.

“That you and his best friend went behind his back and had sex for an entire 3 months or that Harumi is my daughter?” He leans his head to the side, tears streaming down his cheeks now.

“Because both truths are going to destroy his life” he states, a sob escaping his lips.

Y/n is at a loss for words, her throat becoming dry. She can only stare at him whilst growing mortified. Indeed, she had become a professional at harboring secrets. Once she had begun lying to Namjoon, the lies quickly began piling up, leading her to a point of no return.

“H-how did you know?” she musters to say, her eyes widened in panic. He looks away, his eyes falling on the framed picture of Y/n and Namjoon on their wedding day. “She has my eyes” he whispers.

Y/n follows his eyes, her chest tightens at the image on the wall and more sobs escape her. she’s unable to contain herself and she knows she’s fucked up. She never meant for this to happen. She was happy with Namjoon until one day she just wasn’t and Jimin was there, to help her with all her grievances.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asks, he’s in agony and Y/n can see that. She remains motionless as the truth begins to unravel in front of her eyes. She feels relief and immense pain all at the same time, so she stays silent, conflicted with her emotions.

“I’ve missed so much” he states. He reaches over to her desk and picks up a picture of Harumi. He admires his child, tracing his fingers over her gummy smile. The woman who sits in front of him has taken something from him, has hidden the most precious thing away. Yet, he can’t bring himself to hate her. instead, he understands. From within his anger and resentment, he digs out his compassion.

“He’s a good dad, Jimin” she cries out. He lifts his stare towards her, sorrow flashing through his eyes.

“I could’ve been a good father too, Y/n” he affirms.

“I know Jimin, I'm sorry” she weeps, she stands up from her chair and approaches him but Jimin backs away, holding the picture of his daughter to his chest. “Please Jimin, I just couldn’t just throw away everything that I had” Y/n attempted to justify.

“you left and I-“she began. “No!” Jimin shouts “No you pushed me away!” he shakes his head, frustration seeping through his mind.

“What we were doing was wrong and I had to put an end to it” she yells back. “Please, try to understand” Y/n tries to catch her breath as the sobs that rip through her leave her shaking in anguish.

“How wrong could it have been when this came out of it?” he asks, holding up the picture of Harumi. Y/n stares at it, her lips pressing together. He leans in closer to her, his hand lifting her chin so that her eyes could meet his.

“How could it have been wrong when we loved each other?” he asks, pressing his forehead against hers.

“Jimin, he's your best friend” she whimpers, closing her eyes in an attempt to ignore the pain that she sees in his eyes which only causes her further torment.

“Either you tell him, or I will, but I'm not missing out on my daughter’s life on account of your happiness” he whispers, he leans back and leaves the room, taking the picture of his daughter with him.

Y/n collapses onto the floor, becoming a heaving mess. “I'm a good person” she bawls onto the floor as she holds onto her aching chest “I'm a good person” she repeats to herself.

Yn drags her feet across her front door, shutting the door quietly as she enters. She drops her work bag on the floor and slips her heels off. She’s met with the sweet aroma of baby lotion and baby wipes, and for the first time since the day began, she smiles. She glances over to her living room, taking in the TV that plays Harumi’s favorite show and her teething toys that are sprawled around the couches. She lingers on the pictures that hang on the wall; she can’t help but admire her happy family as tears begin to sting her eyes.

She takes a moment to look around, to try to engrave this sight into her mind because soon she will be destroying all of it. her heart pulls while she watches Namjoon appear from the hallway, holding her daughter in his arms. “Long day, my love?” he asks, approaching her with a full smile. She hums unable to form any words at all.

The knot that forms in her throat is painful and as she swallows, she realizes it doesn’t budge.

“Uff, yeah very long day” Namjoon jokes taking in her glassy eyes and messy hair. He embraces her with one arm, holding Harumi with the other. “Have you been drinking?” he chuckles. She nods absent-mindedly looking up at the man of her dreams. “Yes, the girls wanted to go out and celebrate my return” she lies again. Namjoon smiles “Good, it’s been a while since you went out with your colleagues for a few drinks,” he says, kissing the top of her head.

Her chest aches at his words, bringing back the memories of the lies she had spoken to him in the past. she is reminded that she could live a thousand lives and she would still never deserve a man like Namjoon.

“You think you can put Harumi down for a bit? We need to talk” she sighs, unable to withhold much longer. He furrows his brows in concern, noticing how Y/n shifts in place.

“y-yeah sure, babe” he walks towards the living room and sits Harumi in her booster seat, passing her one of her toys. He groans as he stands up and approaches his wife.

“Can you give me a massage after this?” he requests, rubbing his back.

Y/n looks up at her husband and nods slowly, sure that after the conversation they will have he will want her to be as far away from him as possible. They walk together into the kitchen and Namjoon notices the uneasiness that pours from Y/n’s aura. He frowns, worried that something bad has happened.

“Okay my love, what’s going on I'm getting a bit worried here” he warns, following behind her as she stops in front of their dining room. She turns to face him, and tears are already pouring down her cheeks. Namjoon panics, taken aback by the sight before him.

“Hey, hey what’s wrong?” He scans her face and reaches forward to try to hold her, but Y/n holds up her hand which stops his movement.

“Please, just let me speak” She shakes in place, her mind wanders endlessly on how to approach the truth, she tries to find a way in which she can break his heart painlessly, but she knows it's impossible. Once she delivers him the truth, she knows everything will be over, but reflecting on the ultimatum Jimin offered her a few days ago, she can't let him find out through anyone else.

“I uhm I’ve been lying to you” she mutters which only gains her a puzzled look from her husband. He takes a step towards her, wanting to stop her tears. Namjoon has never liked to see her cry and seeing her like this only brings him discomfort.

“What are you talking about, Y/n” he tries to reach for her once again but Y/n steps back, shaking her head. “Please, Namjoon” she implores, trying to distance herself from the man she knows loves her.

“Please let me just explain” she continues, he nods but his heart aches. He wants to bring her into his chest and whisper words he knows will soothe her. He has never seen her like this before, she has always been happy by his side and in this moment all he wants to do is protect her.

“About a year and a half ago while you were away in France, Jimin and I met up in my old apartment” Y/n swallows as she looks at her husband, Namjoon nods still holding a puzzled expression. “Initially it was just to hang out because we both missed you and we thought that since we were both alone then it would be okay for us to keep each other company.”

“Okay babe, there's nothing wrong with that,” Namjoon says, a smile appearing on his lips. “you guys can be friends too, I trust you” he continues, taking a step closer towards Y/n. She shakes her head and looks down; she can feel Namjoon’s arms wrap around her.

“Why are you crying, Y/n?” he asks, reaching for her face which he brings up to look at. His brows are furrowed, and he doesn’t understand why she's making such a huge deal out of something so small. He knows his wife and he knows her heart.

“Jimin and I slept together” she trembles, pushing back on his chest.

Namjoon leans his head to the side in confusion, he blinks looking down at her, but his arms stay around her, unable to move from where he stands.

“And not just that night, we slept together for 3 whole months” she continues to confess.

“Y/n,” he says, his voice beginning to grow shaky.

“And Harumi” she begins but cuts herself off as the knot in her throat begins to choke her. She feels the room spin around her and she is trying to hold herself together but she's shaking, and her heart is pounding painfully in her chest.

“And Harumi isn’t my daughter” he finishes her sentence, looking down at her with such compassion that she feels like throwing up. She stares up at him wide-eyed, unable to register the words that he has just spoken. “I know” he whispers, nodding his head. “I've always known” he finishes, he reaches for her cheeks, wiping the tears that slip down them and he presses a kiss on her forehead.

Y/n is shocked, blinking quickly as she comes to terms with what he means, she leans back staring at him in complete disbelief. “w-what?” she asks, he holds no reaction or hatred in his eyes as he looks at her and that only makes her guilt grow. “What do you mean?” She studies him, unable to understand why he isn’t shouting or berating her.

“From the moment I saw her I knew she wasn’t mine, Y/n,” he says, his tone calm and he stares at her in complete adoration. “But I love you and I love Harumi and I wanted this to work,” Namjoon says.

“Why would you do something like that, Joon” she hisses. She shoves him away and steps back, distaste in her expression.

“I don’t care that she's not mine, I've raised her” he answers, attempting to hold onto Y/n again but she pushes his hands away as tears continue to flow past her cheeks. “I’ve been holding this secret for so long Namjoon” she sobs “And you’ve known this entire time?” she asks, fury burning through her at the revelation.

“Since when do you know? Since when!” she shouts. Namjoon flinches and his eyes fill up with tears. If she has been harboring this secret, then he has been harboring some of his own. The moment he laid eyes on the child he knew that she didn’t belong to him but he had to make this work, he wasn’t going to lose the love of his life, he’d rather die than let that happen.

“I didn’t know Jimin was the father” he tries to step to her but Y/n moves, the expression on her face only breaking his heart further. “But I was sure I wasn’t” he contemplates, recalling the day he first held Harumi in his arms.

“let's just forget about all of this please” he begs, and he begins to cry. He is desperate and he just wants this conversation to end, He is reluctant to admit that their relationship might be coming to an end, he can't imagine a life where Y/n isn’t by his side and that breaks his heart more than any truth she has concealed from him.

“No, I'm tired of not facing reality” she responds “Of hiding so many things, Jimin and I are to be held accountable” she continues to shout. “Why? Because you think that will help you feel less guilty for what you’ve done?” he asks.

Y/n goes silent, she now notices the tears that spill down his face. She looks away, unable to hold his gaze because he’s right, the fact that he knew all this time was not the problem. She needed him to be angry so that in some way she could feel better about all of this.

“I forgave you a long time ago, Y/n” he whispers.

“I don’t want you to forgive me Namjoon,” she says “I want you to be angry, to be resentful” because only then could she stop feeling so fucked up, only then can she free herself of the fact that she fucked over a good person. A person who even now can keep empathy in his heart, one that she never had whilst she slept with his best friend.

Namjoon was being merciful, and she couldn’t bring herself to understand why.

“I can’t be angry at you Y/n, not when I love you and if forgiving you means that I get to keep my family then that’s exactly what I will do” Namjoon fights back but he doesn’t realize that there’s nothing left for him to grasp.

“I'm in love with Jimin,” she says, and it is only then that his composure falters. He sighs and looks away.

“No, you don’t” he declares, his eyes hold anger, but he is unable to direct them at her.

“don’t say that” he continues, he feels his heart shatter and the truth finally consumes him. He can’t admit to himself that the woman who stands destroyed in front of him will never be his. That even whilst she lay on his bed every night, her heart belonged to someone else.

“Joon, I'm sorry” Y/n voices, he glances back at her, and Y/n lets out a sob. She’s aware of the way she has broken down the man whose only intention was to love her, and she feels herself crumble under the culpability of the mess she has made.

“I know” he mutters.

should i turn this into 2 parts? please let me know

i might just leave it like that

hope you guys enjoyedd!

#jimin x reader #jimin angst #jimin smut #jimin au #park jimin #jimin bts #jimin fic #namjoon x re #namjoon angst #namjoon smut #namjoon series #namjoon fic #kim namjoon #bts angst #bts smut #bts au fanfic #bts x reader

165 notes · View notes

eoieopda · 4 months

Text

lacuna masterlist (knj)

each of the installments of this series contains smut. minors do not have my consent to interact with these — or any of my — works; and anyone who gets caught violating this boundary will be blocked. the fics are listed in the order they were posted, which is the order they are intended to be read in! aphelion is a flashback prequel, and i don’t recommend reading it first, even though that would technically be chronological.

lacuna (knj x reader) // exes to lovers (angst, smut)

lacuna (n): a blank space, a missing part in his twenty-eight years, kim namjoon had made countless mistakes. most of them were insignificant and could be shoved easily enough into the back corner of his mind. the worst of them were all tied for first place, keeping him up at night. loving you, losing you, and now: picking up the phone. — listen to the playlist. — anniversary director’s cut (11/26/23)

redamancy (knj x reader) // est. relationship (fluff, smut)

redamancy (n): a love returned in full kim namjoon wasn't known for making wise decisions. he acted first and, on rare occasions, he asked questions later. the path he'd taken so far was left broken behind him, but the light at the end of that tunnel sure looked a hell of a lot like you. — listen to the playlist. — anniversary director’s cut (11/26/23)

aphelion (knj x reader) // flashback prequel // strangers to lovers to exes (fluff, smut, angst)

aphelion (n): the point in the orbit of a comet at which it is furthest from the sun kim namjoon was as perfect when you lost him as he was when you found him. — listen to the playlist. — anniversary director’s cut (11/26/23)

homecoming (knj x reader) // est. relationship (smut)

your husband is out-of-town for two weeks. he may have to keep his hands to himself in the meantime, but that doesn’t mean he can’t tell you what to do with yours.

#bts #kim namjoon #namjoon #namjoon fanfic #namjoon x reader #namjoon fluff #namjoon angst #namjoon smut #namjoon series #bts fanfic #jade writes #lacuna masterlist #re: lacuna #re: redamancy #re: aphelion

110 notes · View notes

pascaloverx · 4 months

Text

BTS MASTERLIST

INVISIBLE BONDS: THE POWER OF DESTINY — JK X READER X TAEHYUNG

AO3 LINK

preview

chapter one

chapter two

chapter three

chapter four

chapter five

chapter six

chapter seven

chapter eight

chapter nine

chapter ten

chapter eleven

chapter twelve

chapter thirteen

chapter fourteen

chapter fifteen

chapter sixteen (FINAL)

OUR SECRET — MIN YOONGI X READER

AO3 LINK

chapter one

chapter two

chapter three

chapter four

chapter five

chapter six

chapter seven

chapter eight

69 notes · View notes

shadowkoo · 8 months

Text

Chasing Clouds - Prologue

→ Summary: Namjoon made the decision early on in his training that he would abstain from dating or entering any form of relationship while in active duty. He’s determined not to burden anyone with the likelihood of being to be notified of his death or causing pain to someone he loves by his long absence. Ironically, he found himself drawn to you, a doctor who challenges his beliefs and contradicts everything he upholds.

↠ knj x f.reader | 1k words | 18+ ↠ genre: military au, angst (future chapters include: doctor au, s2l, slow burn, smut, fluff, romance

→ Warnings: Read at your own risk! war, ptsd, bombs, guns, violence, injury, death, blood, (future warnings include: murder, use of other weapons, smut warnings)

→ Author Note: my favorite kdrama of all time is descendants of the sun and in honor of my fifth rewatch, I wanted to write this series! it takes place about a year after the show ends, just so you know the timeline :) i would recommend that you watch it first, but it’s not a requirement - it just gives insight to some of the character's personalities (plus i’ll take any opportunity to tell people to watch it lol)

Prologue

MAY 02 - 0340 - USTANA

The darkness of the night feels heavy; its weight is unsettling as the soldiers start their most recent assignment. Namjoon has an odd feeling in the pit of his stomach. It’s twisting and turning like never before. He isn’t usually nervous before missions; he hasn’t had a reason to be. He's always followed through and completed his tasks without issue; which is one of the main reasons everyone has such high hopes for him.

Tonight is different though, and he knows the others have the same odd feeling as they all take off their dog tags and set them aside. If captured, they need to remain anonymous.

"You guys know the drill. Once we locate the hostage, everyone will need to be attentive because it'll only be a matter of time until the whole building knows it's been breached. This isn't another exercise boys, lives are at stake here,” Big Boss, Captain Yoo Shijin, says to his team of special force soldiers.

"As this is the last mission of your training term, I expect nothing but excellence in your delivery of the hostage. We've orchestrated the specifics of this mission in such a way that will prove whether or not you are cut for these types of diplomatic high-profile assignments," Wolf, Big Bosses best friend Seo Daeyoung, adds.

"Whatever you do, don't compromise the mission. Don’t use your birth name to communicate, use the nicknames you were given, as well as ours," Big Boss hollers, finishing off their short speech as the back door of the aircraft opened.

Ustana, the country they’re secretly entering, is known for its drug and weapons problem due to its corrupt government. If things end badly, it will reflect on Korea. That’s why the team’s identities and nationalities can’t be known.

The plane jolts, narrowly missing the projectile that was aimed at the steel bird in the sky, solidifying the seriousness of the current situation below.

Namjoon repeats his orders to keep some level of sanity and peace of mind as he descended from the sky with the rest of the Puppy Pack, the soldiers in training to join the Alpha Team.

‘Find the hostage. Mislead the enemy. Return home. Stay alive.’

Once on the ground, he waits for the signal to ambush the guards watching the doors and proceeds to lead the group. Shijin and Daeyoung follow behind with the rest of the soldiers at their feet.

Daeyoung nods, giving Namjoon the go-ahead to align his gun on the enemy. This is the part he often tunes out. You need to be able to turn the switch, as he calls it, on and off with this kind of job.

He aligns his scope with the target and quickly pulls the trigger before moving to the others nearby before they even realize what’s happening. He watches as their bodies drop, waiting to see if anyone else runs into the room, but it’s quiet. Almost too quiet…

"Wildcat, All clear,” he says into his mic, letting the others know their access point is now safe for entry.

‘Find the hostage. Mislead the enemy. Return home. Stay alive.’

It takes less than two minutes for the group of highly trained soldiers to find the hostage. He’s badly beaten and unconscious, his body hunched over in the chair he’s tied to.

Wolf keeps watch by the side door while the team works on releasing the man. Jihoon, another one of the Puppy Pack trainees, helps Namjoon carry the man back to where the transport aircraft is waiting.

“I don’t want to jinx anything, but that was almost too easy…” Jihoon says, looking at Namjoon.

He agrees. Something’s not adding up…

He peers through the open door of the transport helicopter, gazing outside. They’re waiting for the last of the group to make their way onto the craft, and he just wants to ensure that everyone is safe. His shoulders relax when he can see their dark forms exiting the building.

Namjoon turns to look back at Jihoon, “I see them, they’re-” his sentence ends unfinished.

“What is that?” he says, taking a step closer to the unconscious hostage that Jihoon and a combat medic are helping. He points out the red blinking light on the man’s neck. It’s not a laser from a gun. It’s coming from inside his skin. ‘It’s almost as if…’ His thought trails off. “Run!” he screams, though it’s too late.

The bomb’s detonation rips through the helicopter, unleashing an intense burst of energy. In an instant, the searing shockwave propels fragments of debris outward. The air vibrates with a deafening roar, drowning out all other sounds.

The chaotic energy tears apart surroundings and scatters the remnants in all directions. A plume of smoke and fire billows upward, consuming everything in its path. The impact leaves a scene of devastation, marked by shattered glass, twisted metal, and a sense of raw destruction.

Namjoon feels the force of the explosion in his chest and is thrown far from his comrade, and debris crashes around him. His head bounces against the ground, and the ringing in his ears is so intense, he believes he will never hear again.

Jihoon is several feet away. His eyes are frozen open, and blood trails down his face from the head injury he suffers from. Namjoon reaches for his lifeless friend but it’s all too much.

Then, everything fades to black.

← series m.list | next →

82 notes · View notes

7ndipity · 7 months

Text

Serendipity pt.2: 8months, 2 weeks, 6 days ago

Namjoon x Reader

Summary: A recap of how Joon and Y/n met.

Word Count: 1.4k

Warnings: swearing,

A/N: Yay, we finally got part 2! I don’t have a ton to say yet as we’re still just getting started, but I hope you like it!

Masterlist Serendipity m.list

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

8 months, 2 weeks, 6 days ago

(Namjoon)

May

Namjoon eased his way carefully through the cramped aisles of the little book shop, the faint scent of worn paperbacks and hardcovers and quiet 90s music a comforting escape from the buzz of the streets outside.

He had wandered in while trying to find a gift for a friend’s birthday, but had quickly gotten distracted as he scanned the titles, lured into adding a few more volumes to his ever expanding to be read shelf at home.

Stepping back to get a better view of one of the higher shelves, he startled as he accidentally collided with another person, stepping on their foot and making them drop the books they were holding.

“Shit, I am so sorry! Are you okay?!” He asked, catching hold of the stand of art prints he nearly sent toppling over as he staggered back.

“I’m fine.” You said with a laugh, quieting as you caught the disapproving eye of the older woman behind the counter. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m good.” He replied, finally stilling long enough to take in your features, staring for slightly too long before catching himself. “Uh, here, let me help you with those”

He quickly knelt to gather up the items you’d dropped, trying to shake himself out of his sudden flustered state.

“Oh,” He frowned as he gingerly lifted a particularly tattered volume, the spine nearly split down the center. “I think I owe you a new book.” He said apologetically.

“It was already kinda like that, that’s why I wanted it.” You said taking it from him.

“Really?”

“Yeah, I like finding old books that need a little love and patching them up, gives ‘em character.” You explained, adding it back to your stack.

He glanced at the cover again. “Jane Eyre?”

“Mhm, It’s one of my favorites.” You said.

“I’ve never read it.” He admitted.

“Really? Well then, here.” You handed the worn copy to him.

“But I thought you wanted it?” He asked, looking at you.

“I was just getting it because it looked like it needed a home, but I think I found it one with you.” You said grinning at him.

He returned your smile. “Thank you.”

“No problem.” You replied, turning to make your way to the counter.

“Wait!” He said, struck with a sudden idea, ducking back around one of the shelves before returning with another book in hand, passing it to you. “Here.”

“Murakami?” You asked, glancing up at him curiously.

“Mhm.” He nodded. “You gave me one of your favorites, let me return the favor.”

“Cute, I like that.” You grinned. “Thank you.”

“Namjoon.” He offered.

“Thank you, Namjoon.”

The two of you made your way to the counter together, reluctant to let your conversation end.

“So, what are you doing after this?” He asked.

“Nothing, why?”

“I was just wondering if you might wanna get a coffee or something?” He offered, hopeful.

You glanced at him, contemplating for a second before nodding. “Okay.”

...

“Wait so, what’s your name?” He asked as you walked along.

“Hmm,” You thought, locking him in with a mischievous smirk. “Guess.”

“What?” He laughed. “Why?”

“I don’t know, just guess.” You replied, biting back a chuckle of your own at his bemused expression.

“Okay, fine.” He turned to face you, studying you for a long moment before drawing a blank.

“Cass?” He offered weakly.

You couldn’t hold in the snort of laughter that slipped out. “Cass?!”

“What? I’m not good at these kinds of games!” He laughed as well.

“Nope, we’re going with Cass, I like it.”

...

“Okay, let me try again.” He sat back, studying you for a moment. Your eyes follow him curiously, a small grin playing at your lips.

You had been sitting together in the corner of the tiny coffee shop for the better part of two hours now, conversation flowing easily between the two of you, talking about everything from work to family to dreams, repeatedly returning to the little guessing game you had created.

“Well?” You asked, shaking him out of his trance.

“Oh, um, I think you have at least one sister?”

“Nope.” You shook your head, making him sigh in defeat. “But people say my roommate and I look like sisters, so I’ll give you half a point.”

“Agh, why am I so bad at this?” He complained, letting his hands fall onto the table with a thud.

“You’re overthinking it.” You chuckled. “You gotta go with your gut feeling and not question it.”

“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.” He admitted.

“Why?”

“Because I would've kissed you like three times by now.”

You leaned back in your seat, brows raised in surprise at his sudden forwardness.

“Alright, my turn. You said, redirecting the conversation. “I think… you’re in a relationship.”

He shrugged. “Kinda.”

“What is kinda?”

He sighed. “She moved out, took all of her stuff back to her old place, but I’m still her date for her parents anniversary party.”

“Sounds like a soft breakup.”

“It’s happened before, a couple times. I leave, she leaves, but somehow we always just…?”

“Keep coming back?” You finish for him.

“Yeah.” He nodded.

You shrugged. “Could be fate?”

“I don’t believe in that kind of stuff.” He shook his head.

“Why not?”

“Because doesn’t it kinda defeat the purpose of life?” He asked. “If everything is predestined, then what’s the point of trying?”

“I don’t think that’s how it works.” You stirred your drink as you tried to explain. “I think the universe gives us little signs or signals towards things that can be helpful or useful to us, but how we follow those clues is totally up to us.”

He nodded, but didn’t comment, thinking.

You studied him for a moment before speaking again “I think you’re a good boyfriend.” You said kindly.

“I’m not so sure about that.” He responded quietly.

“I am.”

“Why?”

“Because you would’ve kissed me like three times by now.” You said plainly, making him flush red. “Alright, Favorite word?”

…

It was dark by the time you stepped back out onto the now artificially lit streets, having stayed at the cafe until it had emptied and the staff had to tell you it was near closing time.

“You know, maybe you should give me your number, just in case?” Namjoon said as you walked.

“In case of what?” You looked at him quizzically.

“I don’t know, life.” He said. “I had a really great time with you, I don’t want to leave it up to fate to find you again.”

“That’s not a bad idea actually.” You said.

“What is?”

“Letting fate help figure out if we’re supposed to meet again.”

He gaped at you. “You can’t be serious.”

“Why not?” You asked. “I said earlier that you needed to trust your gut more, this will be a good exercise!”

“You’re insane.” He said, shaking his head at you in disbelief.

“How about this,” You said, fishing into your shopping bag from earlier. “We take the books we picked for each other, and once we’ve read them, we’ll write our names and info in them, and then sell them to a used bookstore and see if we can find them.”

“Which store?”

You grinned.

“You’re not gonna tell me, this is ridiculous!” He exclaimed. “I just had one of the best evenings of my life and you want to leave it up to chance?!”

“Yes.” You chuckled. “If it’s fate, we’ll find each other again.”

“That’s not how it works though!” He insisted. “You’re not even living here full time yet, you think fate’s just gonna drop you in my lap again like today?”

“Yes, you just have to trust it.” You said. “Besides, I think the chances of us running into each other again are pretty high.”

Namjoon wanted to argue with you more, but he could see that you wouldn’t move on this.

“Fine.” He said reluctantly.

“Okay.” You smiled at him. “Then we’ll say bye for now?”

He nodded, still not believing he was going along with this.

You turned to walk away, only going a few yards before turning back to him.

“By the way,” You called, making his head whip back up quickly. “My name’s Y/n, not Cass.” You said, turning and ducking across the busy street, quickly getting lost from his sight in the crowd.

...

January

8 months, 2 weeks, 6 days.

That’s how long it’d been since he made what he fears was the biggest mistake of his life, letting you walk away.

He stared out the window of the cafe, at the same table that you’d shared that evening, the January chill seeming to color the air a faint gray-blue, hoping against his own previous skepticism that fate might give second chances.

#namjoon drabble #namjoon x y/n #namjoon x reader #namjoon fluff #namjoon scenario #namjoon series #bts series #bts x y/n #bts x reader #bts fluff #bts fanfic #serendipity series #7ndipity

45 notes · View notes

rcseluv · 10 months

Text

“Out of all things, a cup of tea?!” The smile reaches her eyes as he exclaims indignantly. “It’s the only other thing besides you that manages to calm me down.” she says.

﹢ quote & moment from horus academy chapter v [ read here ]

#namjoon moodboard #namjoon scenarios #bts packs #lq moodboard #bts fanfic #bts series #namjoon layouts #namjoon bts #namjoon fanfic #namjoon series #carrd #namjoon smut #.png

50 notes · View notes

hyunnows · 1 month

Text

WHO YOU GONNA CALL? | TAPE #3

A series of tapes describing Namjoon's life since joining the Supernatural Investigation Unit.

PAIRING(S) | Namjoon x reader

THEMES | cop!au, x-files!au, ghostbusters!au, cop!Namjoon, cop!reader, youtuber!Seokjin, youtuber!Taehyung, ghosts, conspiracies, cryptids, the paranormal, and the supernatural are main subjects

WORD COUNT | 833

RATING | pg

NOTE | so i didnt post this part because i thought i already did.. i apologize. so anyway, here is part three <3 i have to write more parts for after part 4, but that will probably have to wait. I hope you all enjoy and have wonderful days/nights <3 take care of yourselves.

Series M.list | Navigation | Taglist

“The previous stopped recording a few minutes ago, so if you would please continue where it left off where things begin to take a turn,” the man asks, glancing at the tape in his hand with a number two written on a piece of tape along its front.

Namjoon looks at the tape, looking wary about it. “So, as I was saying, that’s when the activity started…”

Tracing his fingers over the intricate detailing of the walls, Namjoon slowly tracked towards the other two. Hearing a squish as he stepped, he peered at the goo. Creak. Jumping slightly, he holds his chest in surprise, his gaze wary as the previously locked door squeaked open. “Alright guys, nice gag.”

“Hm?” Seokjin hums, slowly prying his eyes from the trick candle he’d been examining. Slapping Taehyung frantically, his free hand pointing behind the startled man, “Yah! Taehyung, are you getting that?”

“You guys put that gooey crap on the floor and opened the door, right?” Namjoon growled, tired from their constant immaturity.

Shaking his head, Seokjin purses his lips, “I didn’t do that. I’m pretty sure Tae didn’t either, he was holding the camera,” his tone more serious than the taller had ever heard him use. “We didn’t do that.”

Suddenly feeling much more afraid, Namjoon searched their faces for any hint of mischief, only to turn up empty. “Maybe Mr. Min came in and opened it?”

“He’s still outside…” you chime in, staring at the dark figure sitting nervously on the bench outside the mansion.

All four heads snap to the PKE meter, watching the brightly lit object spin into a frenzy. “Is that supposed to happen?” Namjoon shudders, seeming oddly freaked out for someone who doesn’t believe in the supernatural.

“I honestly had no idea it could do that,” the oldest shrugs, a just as surprised expression on his face as he waved the meter around slowly, watching it get stronger the closer he got to the door. Slowly facing the door once more, his breath caught in his throat, and his ears popped. You all rub your temples, Taehyung comically stretching his jaw. “You guys felt that too, right?”

You nod, “Definitely.”

“What the…“ Namjoon stutters, eyes wide and jumping around the room. He exhaled sharply when the dungeon suddenly swung open, an all too unrealistic glow emanating from the inside. “Oh my gosh.”

A woman—dead and neon emerges from the dungeon, beautiful and ghostly. The camera shifts upward to capture the apparition. Is this real? The officer thinks to himself, eyes reflecting the blue and turquoise hues.

Quickly, Seokjin begins, “Class 4 apparition, distinct humanoid form,” his voice clear and strong, contrasting his childlike doe eyes filled with wonder.

“This can’t be happening…”

“Oh, be quiet, Debby Downer, and look at the ghost before you! It’s happening!” Taehyung cheers, almost dropping the camera from excitement. “She's beautiful…”

The group quiets, a quiet rumbling coming from the floating woman. Namjoon, waiting for some sort of communication, holds his hand in front of the other two scientists—signalling them to stay quiet, “I think she’s going to communicate…”

“Hi, I’m Taehyung, you’re the most beautiful ghost I’ve ever seen!” Tae greets, a slight nervous waver in his voice but mostly excitement dripping from the tone. At least he’d be on the ghost’s good side…

Facing the four of you and straightening up, the growl became increasingly louder as the ghost–Choi Sugweon, as legend calls her approached. Unhinging her jaw, Sugweon screeches, green goo flying out of her ghostly figure, covering them in ectoplasm.

Shocked, you all stood still—processing the paranormal, abnormal event that had just taken place in front of their eyes. A ghost had just ectoprojected all over them. Said ghost was floating out the window, out into the street–

Snapping out of his awe-filled stare, Seokjin snaps his fingers in an attempt to bring the other two out of their trances, rushing after the late Choi, “Hey, wake up! She’s getting away!” Shoving Taehyung towards the door they'd entered through not an hour ago.

Hurrying, You and Namjoon wiped the lot of the ectoplasm off your faces. Namjoon’s grossed out when Seokjin pleads for him to leave as much as possible intact for later experimentation and analysis. Chasing the apparition out of the hall, you all freeze abruptly as she ascends into the air, disappearing behind the nearest buildings.

“Did… did that just happen?” Namjoon sputters, eyes still focused on the building she’d vanished behind, his mouth dry and barely able to create a coherent sentence.

Looking into the camera, Taehyung grins so wide that it almost scares Namjoon as much as the ghost just had. Nodding vigorously, the younger confirms, “Yes, we just saw a beautiful ghost!”

“Oh my gosh, Namjoon we saw a ghost!” Seokjin squeals, glee drenching his already high-pitched voice, “All this time we weren’t crazy!”

“Finally, I can write an authentic report about ghosts,” you cheer, eyes bright with excitement. “The SIU will finally be taken seriously!”

Series M.list | Navigation | Taglist

7 notes · View notes

simpxxstan · 2 years

Text

leave me loving you (knj series)- Chapter 1

pairing: idol!namjoon x reader

genre: angst, fluff, exes to lovers, idol au

summary: love is easy. marriage is hard. especially with kim namjoon. it’s only for your daughter’s sake that you keep in touch. but when feelings linger, can you ever move on from the past?

word count: 4k

rating: 13+ (everything is sfw)

warning: a large dose of angst. I may or may not have teared up while writing this. topics of divorce and pregnancy.

a/n: hi! I’ve been away from tumblr for more than a month now, because I’ve been really caught up with work and studies :(. Missed JK’s bday too, but here I am to post this as a belated celebration! Happy Birthday Jungkookie! All of the love in this world to you, angel. The original intention was to finish this series by Namjoon’s bday, but I don’t think I will be able to write that fast. This is for my bestie, @mommyofpinkears I hope you like this, babe! Thank you for reading! All of your support is so so appreciated, love y'all! Enjoy!

You flick from one channel to the next on the television, your mind in a completely different place. With every passing minute, your tension just increased, and you gulped down larger sips of the ice tea you had made yourself. It was past 10 o’ clock, and Namjoon had still not brought Byul back home.

It did remind you of the old days, sometimes. How the father-daughter duo would disappear for long hours, visiting some park or the other, ice skating in the rink, singing at the kid’s karaoke, or taking a walk down the Han river in the peace after the sunset. Even then, you’d be super worried when they would return home late. But somehow, there was some kind of ease in your mind then. You knew that no matter what, Namjoon would bring her back home. And he’d come back to you too.

The trust was still there. You knew Namjoon too well to think he wouldn’t dote on his daughter and bring her home safely. The only person you were worried about was Namjoon.

You didn’t want to repeat the incidents of last month again.

You both had to make your hearts into steel, even if it was for Byul’s sake.

Just then, the bell rings and you walk up, rushing to the front door to open it and find a cutely asleep Byul in Namjoon’s arms, while the man himself was looking at you with a smile.

“She’s tired.”

You can’t smile, not when you were so worried just a moment ago. “Where did you take her?”

“To the amusement park. The new one? In Gangnam.”

You nod, and extend your arms in order to take Byul into your arms.

“No, let me put her in bed. She’ll wake up.”

Your eyes become sterner, as you glare at Namjoon, whose face takes up a mildly begging expression.

“Please?”

You can’t not be melted by his puppy eyes.

You never could resist them.

You step aside, letting him walk in, and he walks straight to the bedroom, knowing very well where the rooms were. You shut the door, put the TV on mute, and walk into the bedroom, just to see the big man trying his best to gently tuck in the tiny girl, who had a smile on her face as she basked in her Appa’s warmth. You bit your lip to stop the tears from rushing to your eyes. When Namjoon finished, he kissed right in between Byul’s eyebrows, and whispered goodnight to her. Then he looked up at you, and walked out of the room. You shut the door and walked out too.

You could see the tears gathering up near his eyes too.

“Did you two have fun?”

“Hmm, I think she did. Although she was a little scared during the rides, it was good.”

“And you?”

He looks at you with a soft smile, his eyes wistful. “Hmm, me too.”

You want to hug him so bad. He’s literally asking for it, with those dimples popping up slightly, his hair fluffy and soft, the blonde wearing off. But you won’t. You’ve mentally scolded yourself a million times to not lean into physical touches. It would honestly be the last straw.

“Did you eat dinner?”

“Yeah, we ate ramen and corn dogs. She really liked the corn dog, has she tried it before?”

“I don’t think so. I thought it would be too fiery for her, but I’m glad she liked it.”

He nods. You take in his outfit, a light beige hoodie and plain jeans, but he looks… so fine. You regret your decisions for the nth time.

“Umm, Y/N, I had a favour to ask of you.”

You nod, urging him to continue.

“Byulie told me she has a parent-teachers meeting in school on Thursday. Can I come along, if that’s okay with you? I really want to meet her teachers and understand her progress.”

You furrow your eyebrows. “You’ve never been involved with her school work before, why now?”

“I don’t know, it’s just…”

“Do you think that just because I’m not as smart as you, I can’t raise her to be smart?”

You want to take your words back.

You really do.

Because he has the saddest look in his eyes now and you want to cry just by looking at him.

“No, Y/N, I didn’t mean that. I just wanted to see how she’s coping at school and stuff like that.”

“Well, Byul’s never had many problems. I’ve spoken to her teachers before, and they’ve all confirmed this. Plus our communication is really strong so even if she faces any difficulties, she doesn’t hesitate to tell me.

“That’s really good to hear.” He whispers quietly. Sincerity shines in his eyes.

“But I'd think she’ll like it if you come to the parent-teachers meeting.

You could finally see him smiling. “Are you sure you’d be okay with that?” Your heart ached. “Yes. Of course. You are her father.”

Judging by the look he gave you, you didn’t think this was the answer he expected. But it didn’t matter. He had already turned towards the door, turning once to say, “See ya on Thursday then! Please text me the details.”

You nod, opening the door for him.

He stopped in front of you, gently leaned towards you, and pecked your forehead.

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

When you closed the door, speechless, a single tear ran down your eye.

___

Loving Namjoon had been a dream, until you woke up and faced reality. Wherever you went, cameras flashed in your eyes and you found your peers stealing glances at you, eyes burning with jealousy. It almost felt like a crime, dating and then marrying Namjoon. It was as if you had stolen him away from thousands of people. Hate comments on your Instagram, multiple rumours aimed to shame you, and the endless invasion into your personal life. It was something Namjoon had warned you about, but you were terrified by the scale of it. But even that was something you could manage. He, the boys and their company had helped you with those issues too.

However, everything turned bitter when you actually became pregnant. You both had talked about it, and Namjoon had always been ready to become a dad. He would often wistfully dream, with you lying on his chest, how he would drive his child to school every day, how his child would have his dimples but your smile, how he would spoil his child (to which you would lightly scold him), and how he would find another partner to go on nature walks with. You would laugh at his dreams, finding them adorable. You weren’t so eager to become a mother, you wanted to settle down more in life first, but you were sure Namjoon would be the best dad ever, and that made your heart warm. You couldn’t dream of having children with anyone other than Joon.

You still remembered that morning clearly. You had woken up and taken a pregnancy test after repeated bouts of vomiting and nausea in spite of no reason for food poisoning.

The test had, as you had expected, revealed positive.

You had woken him up gently, showering tiny kisses all across his face and neck. You knew this was his favourite way of waking up, and even before his eyes had opened, his cheeks had broken into dimples as his smile rose. “What’s up, baby girl?”

“Namjoon-ah!”

He opened his eyes at your mock urgency, brows raised in anticipation.

“Who’s ready to be a dad?” You had shown him the little tool, showing a red line, indicating your pregnancy.

His face had gone from shock to disbelief to surprise to sheer utter joy in a span of ten seconds. “Really?” He sat up, holding you in his lap. You nodded, the widest smile on both of your faces. “YAYYYY!” He had lifted you up as he stood up hopping slightly. Laughing, you begged him to put you down, but he showed no signs of stopping. He began to twirl you round and round, and then you said, “Joon, no really, I’m gonna vomit all over you, if you don’t stop right now.” Alarmed, but not in despair, he had stopped. “I’m sorry.” He kissed you on your forehead, your nose, and then your lips, deepening it slightly before the two of you became out of breath. “I love you, my baby mommy,” he said, booping your nose with his. “I love you too, Namjoon-ah.”

And then everything went downhill.

___

He arrived just ten minutes before the meeting was scheduled to start, panting as he ran into the school campus, muttering apologies to everyone. You hadn’t even spotted him in the crowd, but Byul had begun waving her hand at him, beckoning him to where the two of you were standing. Unconsciously, the edges of your lips curled up.

It had been his dream to come to school with his child. Even if it was in fragments, you did hope Namjoon was happy that his dream was coming true. The way his eyes were lit up, he sure did seem happy. He made his way through the crowds, which was not an easy feat as people instantly started gathering around him, recognising him as RM of BTS, and flocked him for autographs and selfies. He politely apologised, all the while, keeping his eyes on you and Byul. By the time he reached you, he was quite flustered, but Byul instantly hopped into his arms.

“Appa!” she smacked his cheek with a loud kiss, and he hugged her tightly. “You came!”

“Yes, darling. Of course I came.”

“How are you?” You asked him.

“Doing okay. Am I very late?”

“Nope, don’t worry. We still have about-” you looked at your watch, “Oh dear, we have a minute left! Let’s start making our way to the classrooms!” he laughed at your panic, but when you unconsciously clutched his hand and walked towards the classroom, Namjoon’s face lit up with the most beautiful sad smile, as his heart ached and leaped at the same time. His daughter in his arms, his angel holding his hand, this was nothing less than his ideal. Except it wasn’t the ideal.

___

Although the divorce had been your call, you had probably suffered the worst brunt of it. Being with Namjoon had been challenging, but at least you always had him at your side. When you had asked for the divorce, you had thought that the grass on the other side would be greener.

But it was a thought in vain.

The first time you had visited your regular supermarket, you had absentmindedly bought a ton of things that you would never use, but you had made it a habit to buy them for Namjoon. A special type of strawberry jam, his typical razor, the cookies he liked to eat with tea, a juice mix he had been waiting for a long time to buy but the supermarket had run out of stock. It was only when you had returned home that you had realised your mistake.

He had surely been surprised to see you at his door late in the night, a plastic bag in your hand, and Byul on your shoulders.

“Hi.”

“Hey!” He had smiled at Byul whose face had glown up with the same smile as her Appa, and stepped aside, asking you in.

“No, no I have to get back home. Just came to drop these.” You plopped the plastic bag in front of him. “I, umm, bought some stuff. Accidentally bought stuff you liked and then realised I have no use for them.” You laughed, so fake, trying to hide your embarrassment.

“Oh.”

He picked it up, and smiled again, “Thank you, Y/N-ah.”

“Umm, I’ll be on my way then.”

But Byul had started whining in broken words near your ear, “Appa, Appa please Eomma…” It broke your heart as you tried to shush her.

“Can I hold her?” He asked you, wistfully.

You looked up at him, stunned to say anything. Your brain short-circuited as your heart screamed to you, look what you’ve done, Y/N, her own father is asking for your permission to even hold her. “Yeah…” You slowly removed Byul from your shoulders, and placed her in Namjoon’s extended arms. He immediately engulfed her, his big body warming her up as she snuggled sleepily into Appa’s neck, her hands going round his body like it was a mountain she was trying to hold on to. “Please step in? I’ll just hold her for a while… I think she’ll fall asleep soon.” He peppered her hair with kisses, a fond smile on his face. You smiled at the sight, this was the best sight you had seen in the longest time. And you had dreamt about it for so long too- ever since you had found out about the pregnancy, you kept thinking of how Joon would be with his child- he would mould them into his little habits, fondly playing with tiny toys, going around zoos and parks to look at animals and plants, reading illustrated books together, their tiny body in contrast to his large one.

But now you had ruined your dream with your own hands.

You stepped into his house, and tiptoed to the sofa, where Namjoon currently sat down with Byul. After the divorce, you had continued to live in the house the two of you had shared earlier while Namjoon had moved into a new house closer to the BigHit building and the other boys. It was smaller than your house, and minimalistic to an extreme extent- just beautiful paintings from his private collection adorning the otherwise plain walls. His dog, Rap Mon, suddenly entered the room and climbed up the sofa to sit next to Namjoon and Byul. She giggled and instantly began petting it. Byul had probably been too young to remember playing with Moni as a child, but they had always shared a special bond. You muted your movements, careful to not spoil the moment. It was too precious to be spoiled. And too heartbreaking.

Joon looked at you just at the moment when tears spilled the threshold of your eyes. You immediately sniffed and wiped them away, whispering apologies. But then he had extended his arm to you and you had snuggled into his embrace, without thinking twice. It was probably wrong to do this, but you didn’t care. You couldn’t just sit in front of the love of your life and not want to be near him, especially when he was at his most vulnerable.

As soon as you had placed your head on his shoulder, he began stroking your hair, the same way he was doing to Byul. “My two favourite girls”, he would say. “And Eommoni?” you’d tease him, but he’d scrunch his nose and instantly reply, “She’s not in the list”, resulting in you giggling loudly.

The last thing you had remembered that night before falling asleep was that he smelt like you. It was probably because he was wearing your perfume on his sweatshirt.

___

Byul’s teacher somehow began regarding her as a special human species after she saw that her father was the Kim Namjoon. “Aah, Namjoon-ssi, I must tell you, your daughter is one of the brightest children in her class. She must have got that from you, considering that your intelligence is a well-known fact…” ending in a slight laugh, as she dropped her neckline even lower. A bitter taste spread in your mouth. He had always received such attention, and it had been quite easy for you to ignore it earlier when you were married. But now that… he was technically single, a silent fear rose in your heart. You quickly shooed it away to focus on the discussion Namjoon was having with the teacher, Byul carefully sitting in his lap, playing with her braids.

“I know she’s doing well in academics, but I also want to know how she’s faring in extra-curricular activities, like singing or art?” “Oh I know why you’re asking this, hmm”, the teacher wiggles her eyebrows with a smirk, as if she knows some secret that you don’t. Namjoon simply smiles, dimples on full display, and you feel that bitter taste again. You only notice that you’ve been biting your lower lip, when he grabs your hand, and squeezes it gently. He leans in and whispers, as the teacher rummages through some sheets to find something, “Stop looking like a pressure pot. You’re all red.” You realise he’s purposely turned on his charm, and it is actually producing results. The teacher shows you both all of Byul’s reports from the last term in her extra-curricular activities. As you dig into the details of her academic and extra-curricular records, Namjoon sits back into his chair, easing out as you take over the meeting.

Later, as you three sit in the cafeteria, he says, “Phew! She’s quite the flirt. Byul-ah, you have a funny teacher.” Joon winks at your daughter, who’s sipping on a milkshake. “No- she’s normally nice. Today she was funny.” As she slightly chokes on her drink while speaking, you pat her back trying to ease her, and you scold Joon, “Don’t talk to her while she’s drinking, Joon. Her drink goes down the wrong pipe.” He laughs at that. “What’s so funny!” “Nothing, the wording is funny.” “You’re finding everyone and everything amusing today. Even things which aren’t.” “Like her teacher’s behaviour?” “Yes like her teacher’s behaviour. Quite mean, I’d say, considering the mother of the child is right there and she’s ignoring me as if I’m non-existent.” “I’ve always had that effect on people, Y/N.” “The effect of reducing others to just background while you’re the focus?” “Yes. You know it all too well, Y/N-ah.” You become silent, suddenly remembering the party where you had met him for the first time. Hobi’s new album’s listening party. You had been unable to take your eyes off him, although you were there just as a family friend of Hobi’s. You would’ve never got the guts to approach him, but luck had favoured you, when he had casually sauntered up to you, and introduced himself to you, all grace and smiles even in the casual atmosphere. You knew then why his fans went so gaga over him.

“Yes, I know it all too well, Joonie.”

He didn’t notice your silent statement as Byul began poking him in his chest, right above his ever-growing pecs, “Appa, let’s go to the park near Youngjae’s house, please? She tells me it’s so pretty!” Her eyes widened as she began describing the park, and you noticed that Namjoon was equally invested into this conversation. You had never had been as fond of nature as he had been, and his traits had flown smoothly into his daughter’s blood. “Y/N, is it okay if we go there now?”

“Are you free to go now?”

“Yeah, I took the rest of the day off.”

“Okay then. Let’s go!” Father and daughter nearly bounced as they stood up, and you laughed to see their excitement. It made your frozen heart so warm.

___

“When will you stop being cruel to yourself, and just admit how you feel?” Sana asks you over another glass of wine, the two of you chilling out in her apartment as both Byul and her kids have fallen asleep in the kids’ bedroom after an intensely wild play-session, and her husband is out of town. “I don’t know what I feel, Sana.”

“Well, you certainly don’t feel like leaving him outside your door every night. And being heartbroken every time you see Byul because she looks exactly like him.”

“I know these things. I took the plunge despite knowing these things would happen. But you know as well as I do that the reasons why we split haven’t changed yet.”

“But other factors have worsened, Y/N.”

“Oh dear, stop talking like a scientist.” You both laughed, because Sana was actually a molecular chemistry scientist. The laugh broke your conversation, and you were further distracted by a text on your phone, as Sana stood up to bring some more snacks from the kitchen.

Hi Y/N-ie! Sorry if this is weird but- have you and Joon fought recently?

It was a text from Jimin. Another text quickly popped up below.

Aish, I’m sorry this is really out of the blue- I haven’t even visited y’all for some time. Sorry if you’re sleeping or uncomfortable.

You smiled at the continuous apologies, and you typed back a text.

No, Jimin, I’m awake, although Byul has fallen asleep! And if you’re gonna apologize so much, I’m seriously going to block your number.

He quickly sent another text.

Haha, sorry- oops I did it again, oh gosh!

You laughed at that, and again texted him to calm down. Then you saw the message that Jimin had sent first. Why would he think that you and Namjoon had fought? You had parted ways quite peacefully last evening when he had dropped you both home after your exploration of the park.

Nope… we haven’t fought. Is something wrong?

You waited for the reply, and it pinged up.

Oh. I assumed wrongly… he’s just a little sad. Idk he’s behaving the same way he did when you guys would quarrel earlier.

Sad?

Really? How is he behaving?

Again a pause.

He’s not talking, just staring at the world without seeing anything, and chugging down his drink. He couldn’t even record the song we were supposed to record today properly. He kept fumbling up the rap. Quite unusual on his part, that’s why I wanted to ask you.

Oh. This was really unusual. You had never known that he would react like this to your quarrels, and while it made you guiltily happy that your fights would affect him like this earlier, it spread a dark feeling in your mind now. Why was he behaving like this? What was on his mind?

Before you could reply, another text pinged up.

I’m didn’t want to bother you, Y/N. Just wondered out aloud, and I guess it's making you worry. Please don’t worry too much, we’ll take care of him. Goodnight!

You sighed. It was so truly Jimin to not want to make you worry. You fought the physical urge to walk out of Sana’s house and drive straight to wherever Namjoon was to hug and talk to him to bring him to a better mental state.

Instead, you walked up to Sana, into the kitchen. “Hey, see what Jimin just texted me.” As you showed her the chats, you felt a sinking feeling in your stomach. You were feeling so helpless and clueless. And a bad friend. A bad wife. A bad lover. A bad ex-wife even. You were just so, so pathetic.

And that’s why, when the tears started pouring out, you didn’t stop them. You just let Sana hold you in her arms, while you made her shoulder wet with your sobs. The pain just wouldn’t stop.

143 notes · View notes

hobipaint · 3 months

Text

this might just end up in the depths of tumblr lol but if I did put out a single father! namjoon fic that is more based on a slowburn, slow paced timeline, with maybe 3-4-5 chapters, each about 5k, and featuring some of my own poetry and song recommendations in it, would you read it?

its mostly fluff and angst rn,, haven't really thought out the entire storyline yet but im nearly done with it; and ofc there would be a female oc,, she's not very relevant to the plot yet lol but where there is single father there there is dilf so hehe that will be taken care of (read as: there is planned smut). do let me know pls!

#hobipaintrambles #its like a podcast based fic in my wips rn #ive had this for months so its very close to my heart #do let me know #bts namjoon #namjoon🐨#namjoon #namjoon fluff #namjoon smut #namjoon series #namjoon scenarios #please vote #namjoon x reader #dilf!namjoon

5 notes · View notes

stacywaters · 6 months

Text

Written in the Pages (RM) CH8

"That's a terrible idea, Namjoon" Jin snarks.

"I thought a serenade sounded sweet.." Hoseok said.

"He's talked to her like,, twice??? And your plan is to follow her home? Bad idea."

"Yeah, Jin's right." Yoongi adds.

Jimin pipes up, "What if you wrote her a card?"

I think for a moment, "Isn't that too... obvious?"

"What's wrong with obvious?" He asks, "It can't be worse than stalking her and singing her four lines in the middle of her house, can it?"

I sigh, "what would I even write in a card?"

"Something like Oh Y/N~ I'm so in love with you! Every night when I go to bed I dream of kissing you-"

"sHUT UP!" I groan as I cover my face.

𝄆 Y/N POV 𝄇

Falling in love is like picking flower petals. He loves me, he loves me not. He loves me, he loves me not. One day I think he likes me, the next I'm sure he doesn't.

Love is a beautiful thing, but sometimes it can be so hard. Does he like me? Why else would he go to all this effort for me? But at the same time, why would he want me when he could have anyone?

I might love him, but sometimes I just feel so insecure at the thought of him.

I think back to when me and Namjoon last talked. He had tried to talk to me, explaining that he did care. But I had jumped to conclusions and let my insecurities get the best of me. Was I the reason he wasn't talking to me? He must be giving me space because he thinks I'm mad at him.

I grab my phone and open it up to instagram. Messaging him, I write:

"Hey Namjoon. I'm sorry I didn't let you finish what you were saying last time... I guess I just got caught up in my anger. It wasn't fair to you"

After a while, I see three little dots.

𝄆 NAMJOON POV 𝄇

I typed out a message to her:

Me: Wait, so you're not mad at me?

Y/N: Of course I'm not mad at you! I thought you were mad at me..

Y/N: I... overheard these girls saying that you were just hanging out with me as a joke.. I know you would never do something like that! I just....

Y/N: I just started to feel like I wasn't good enough for your friend group

Me: Don't listen to them. We decide whose good enough for us, not them. I'm sorry they made you feel that way.

Y/N: Can I ask you something?

Me: Anything

Y/N: Just out of curiosity, what type of person would you date?

I pause. Do I tell her? Do I tell her what I've tried to tell her multiple times now?

No. I can't tell her over instagram DMs. When I tell her how I feel, I want it to be special.

Me: Someone smart, funny, pretty,

Someone like you.

Me: What about you? What type of guy would you date?

Y/N: I don't know haha. I haven't really thought about it.

Me: Would you consider... someone like me?

Y/N: ...maybe

Y/N: would you consider someone like me?

My thumb starts to type 'yes', but right as I'm about to press send my screen turns black.

"Shoot! My phone died!"

I'm not having another misunderstanding. Our conversations keep getting interrupted. If I can't send her the text, then I'm just going to have to tell her in person.

Tomorrow I will tell Y/N how I feel.

I rush into school. It's 8:00am still, plenty of time before class starts. I walk into the classroom to find Y/N sitting at her desk, a book open on her table.

"Y/N" I call out.

She glances up at me, worry painting her face.

"Y/N. I need to tell you something"

The classroom is empty, as class doesn't start for another half hour. Yellow sunlight paints the desks, slowly tilting as the sun continues to rise. The light brushes over her hair, highlighting a few strands that excitedly bounce up as she lifts her head.

"What is it?"

"I-I.." I stutter, "I need to talk to you"

She bites her bottom lip, looking down, "Is it about our conversation last night? Listen, I'm really sorry about-"

"No. It's, It's about... how I feel about you"

After a pause she bursts into laughter, "about the ideal type thing? It's okay if you don't feel that way about-"

"No!"

"Stop interrupting me!" She jokes, "it's okay if I'm not your type."

"No, what I meant was that you are my type! That's what I was trying to say before... my phone died."

She gives me a deadpan look, "your phone died?"

"It did! But that's why I've decided that I'm tired of being interrupted. I need to tell you that-"

"Namjoon! How's it going!" Jin yells as he opens the classroom door.

"NO!" I shout back at him. I then turn to Y/N, "I need to tell you that I like you. I have feelings for you. That's why I keep talking to you, why I always want to have lunch with you, why I got so angry at what those people said about you, because I like you. And I want us to be more than friends. And I understand if you don't feel the same but I just needed you to know that"

She looks up at me with shocked eyes. Did I yell all of that too? She closes her book and breaks eye contact, looking out the window at students walking in to school. Jin has a wide-eyed look on his face as well, probably surprised at my sudden outburst.

"You... like me?"

"Oh yeah. He's had the biggest crush on you since last year. He's spent the last week trying to tell you, it's really kind of-"

"Jin! Shush!" I whisper-yell.

Her small smile turns to a big grin, "you've liked me since last year?"

I rub the back of my neck, "well... yeah"

She jumps up from her desk like she's about to hug me, then stops and fiddles with her fingers, "I... I like you too!"

"Really?!" I smile too, "I.. That's, can I hug you?"

She smiles and nods. I pull her into me, resting my arms on her shoulders.

"Ew, get a room you too" Jin groans.

I pull away from Y/N, "we had a room until you showed up."

He just laughs and walks away, leaving his bag at his seat. Me and Y/N smile at each other. We stay in silence until class starts, only interrupted by our awkward giggles.

10 notes · View notes

shadowkoo · 8 months

Text

Chasing Clouds - series m.list

𝑨𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕

↠ knj x f.reader | 18+ | status: on-going ↠ total words: to be updated once complete ↠ genre: military au, doctor au, s2l, slow burn, smut, angst, fluff, romance, descendants of the sun au

→ Warnings: Read at your own risk! war, ptsd, violence, injury, death, murder, bombs, guns, knives, use of other weapons, (smut + additional warnings will be noted in each chapter)

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒔

Captain Yoo Shijin - Big Boss, Alpha Team

Seo Daeyoung - Wolf, Alpha Team

Kim Namjoon - Wildcat, Puppy Pack Trainee

Jung Hoseok - Bambi, Puppy Pack Trainee

Lee Jihoon - White Knight, Puppy Pack Trainee

Dr. Moyeon Kang - Big Boss’s wife

Dr. Y/N Song - 1st year intern

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒔

☁ Prologue

☁ Chapter 1 - coming soon

☁ Chapter 2 - coming soon

☁ Chapter 3 - coming soon

☁ Chapter 4 - coming soon

☁ Chapter 5 - coming soon

main m.list - wips - updates - ao3 - kofi

#kvanity #namjoon #kim namjoon #namjoon series #namjoon x reader #namjoon au #knj #knj series #knj fanfic #namjoon fanfic #kim namjoon fanfic #knj au #knj x reader #namjoon scenarios #namjoon fic #descendants of the sun #descendants of the sun series #descendants of the sun au

57 notes · View notes

goofyhoffy · 2 years

Text

114 notes · View notes

7ndipity · 7 months

Text

Serendipity: Part 1(Intro)

Namjoon x Reader, Jimin

Summary: After months of wondering what if, Namjoon seeks out the help of one of his best friends for help to try and find the one that got away…

Word Count: 800+

Warnings: Jimin’s roommate is referred to as noona/she, but you can ignore that if you want.

A/N: At long last, we're here with part one! This is my first attempt at a multi-part series like this, so I’m a little nervous, but I hope you’ll like it! The intro's a little short, but the following parts will be longer. (Pt.2 should be coming on Monday)

Masterlist Serendipity m.list

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

(Jimin)

Jan 24th

The frigid January air bit at Jimin’s skin as he made his way along, numbing his face and hands, but he paid it no mind as he navigated the sparsely populated streets on his way to the cafe where he’d agreed to meet up with Namjoon.

He loved this time of year, the lingering remnants of the Christmas season could still be spotted here and there along the streets in the form of twinkle lights in the shop windows and slightly tangled masses in trees and shrubs. If he closed his eyes, he could almost hear the lingering echoes of holiday music and new year's eve countdowns.

Stepping through the door of the cafe, he was pulled from one season to another, immediately enveloped by the almost overwhelming warmth and sweet scents of coffee and pastries.

He scanned around the room briefly till his eyes landed on Namjoon sitting in the corner by one of the large windows.

“Hey.” He greeted the older man lightly, taking the seat opposite of him and shrugging his coat off.

“Hey.” Joon responded flatly.

“Did you see the sky out there? Looks like snow, don’t you think?” He said.

“Hm.” Joon nodded, sounding distracted.

“I told Noona I thought so this morning, but she said I was just getting my hopes up so we’d have to stay in the city for lunar new year.” He said, referring to his roommate casually, which would normally earn him a teasing remark, but today he was met with silence.

“You doing okay?” Jimin asked, taking in his friend’s slightly tense posture and tired eyes, gaze unfocused as he stared out the window.

“You ever had one of those moments when you think you know what you’re doing, you know your path and plan, and then, all of a sudden, everything just starts screaming at you that you’re going the wrong way?” He asked

Jimin looked at him, confused. “You mean like that time when you tried to put a fork in the toaster?”

Namjoon slumped back in his seat, frustrated.

“Okay, I’m sorry, I’ll be serious.” Jimin held his hands in surrender. “What’s actually going on?”

Joon sighed, shifting his eyes down to the untouched coffee in front of him. “I was gonna ask Sylvia to marry me.”

Jimin gaped at him. “Wha- are you serious?!”

He knew that the two had been dating on and off for over two years, but it was still slightly surprising news to him.

Joon pulled out a small velvet box and plopped it on the table between them, eliciting a high-pitched gasp from the younger man, drawing a few curious and concerned glances from the other customers around the cafe.

“Hyung, I-, congratulations. I’m so happy for you.” He said, trying to casually sneak a peek inside at the ring.

“Don't be,” Namjoon replied flatly. “We broke up this morning instead.”

“YOU WHAT?!” Jimin let the box drop with a clatter, earning a few more concerned looks before quickly dropping his voice to a lower volume. “Why?!”

Joon looked up at him. “Y/n.” He said simply.

Jimin leaned back in his chair, a sudden sense of understanding drawing his features together in a frown. “Hyung, you can’t.”

“I just want to know.” Joon said. “I just want to see if we can find them.”

“We went through this before, we couldn’t find anything.” Jimin tried to reason with him.

“It might be different this time!” Joon argued.

“No, it’ll be worse, cause now it’s been almost a year!” Jimin hissed.

“8 months, 2 weeks, and 6 days.”

Jimin stared at his friend, at a total loss. “Hyung...”

“I just want to know.” Joon repeated, looking at him solemnly. “Every day, I have woken up and all I can think about is them. I know it was only one day, but there was something…” He shook his head. “I don’t even know how to explain it. It was like everything suddenly made sense, everything just felt right. And I missed it.”

Jimin knew the story well enough by now. He’d been the one Joon had come to at nearly two in the morning, to talk about this person he’d met. In all their years of friendship, Joon had never been the sort to talk about things like fate and soulmates, but something had clearly changed his in mind that day.

“I just keep wondering what would’ve happened if I'd stayed a little longer, and if they feel the same.”

“What if they don’t?” Jimin asked. “What if they’ve moved on?”

“Then at least I’ll know.” He said, chewing on his lip as he thought .“At least then, I’ll have an answer and can let it go and move on too. But I have to know. I gotta find them.”

Jimin stared at him for a long moment before looking around, exasperated.

“Alright, fine.” He sighed. “Where do we start?”

26 notes · View notes

apotatomashedbybts · 2 years

Text

But You Do...

➡Pairing: Doctor!Kim Namjoon × OC (Seo Lee)

➡Genre: fluff, angst, romance

➡Trope/au: strangers to lovers, slice of life

➡Rating: NC-17

➡Triggers/warnings: Graphic depiction of verbal abuse and emotional abuse, infliction of harm to health, toxic family relationships, description of pollen allergy, lots of crying, OC's mother is a bitch

➡ Word Count: 8.1k+

➡Banner(s): made by apotatomashedbybts

➡ Disclaimer: The description of the symptoms and effect caused by the allergy and the treatments may not be accurate. The italics indicate flashbacks/past incidents.

➡ Summary: A simple wish of having a loving family was never so simple for Lee. So when she ran away from that unfulfilled wish she realised that not all wishes are granted the way they are wanted. And sometimes a loving family can be a single person too.

➡ Author's note: So I managed to finish writing this within the time frame I gave myself! Yay! *pat pat* . Anyways, enjoy this longer chapter while I space out and think about the fourth chapter! But, you, my friend, please don't space out! Leave lovely comments, feedbacks and reblogs and I'll give you forehead kisses and lots of hugs!💜🌼

"Ugghhh!!" The intensity of the groan grew louder with each passing second as Lee rolled in her bed and debated with herself whether she should text Dr. Kim first or not. She didn't want to seem desperate but God knew she was desperate - more than when she wanted to slip away when she was stuck in that stupid family reunion and all the aunties were frying up her brain asking about her plans for marriage.

She looked at her watch once more - probably fifteen times in the past 5 minutes - and she felt like the clock hands weren't moving at all from the house of 5:10 am.

She got out of the bed and went to the balcony. The light cold breeze hit her face and she closed her eyes for a moment to feel the soft touches of the air, to hear it singing the constant tune. With the faint chirping of a few birds the sound of the waking city life began to collide and it got written down on her brain like a note that she didn't like it. In the past few years she had developed a habit of late rising, mostly because of sleeping in late or one could say because of not being able to sleep until it's late. But earlier when she was a school student she had to wake up early and she remembered how beautiful the relentless chirping of the birds used to be in the peaceful dawn of her neighbourhood and it sounded like a song whereas this on the other hand was giving her a slight headache. At least the breeze felt nice, keeping the air pollution out of mind.

"Will he be up by now?" She wondered and sighing went back to her bed to see the time.

5:30am… Keeping the phone with a soft thud she sighed, again, and turned down the blinds slightly as the sunlight had started to pour in and she felt exposed; she felt like the sun told her that it can see her and she should hide to not get caught.

°°°

Her eyes fluttered open and the first thought that struck her was that she was late. She hurriedly sat up and looked at her phone - 7:30 am. Then it hit her that there was no time fixed for the meeting yet. She slumped her back and a gradual sadness crept up her chest trying to force its way out from her eyes.

"Why am I being like this?" She asked herself resting her eyes on her warm palms. A thousand thoughts invaded her mind. She scolded herself for being so weak over something so trivial like this. She blamed herself for depending so much on that little piece of affection that she was hoping to get when he had nothing to do with her. In any case, he was just thinking of it as a casual thank you while she was weaving a tangled daydream.

She was just about to let her tears take over her when the sound of the mobile notification made her jump. Her hand reacted faster than her mind did. It was a message from Dr. Kim. While tears were still playing at the brim of her eyes a smile pulled the side of her lips forming an upward curve.

Lee felt like the clouds were under her feet. Standing up she twirled around the room and hummed her favourite happy tune. She was happy.

She got ready as quickly as she could. Rummaging through her luggage she decided to wear a light yellow coloured flared knee length dress with small graffitis printed across it and completed her look with a light wavy hair and nude make-up.

Swinging her sling bag across her shoulder she set out in the morning city, smiling from ear to ear.

She hardly remembered when was the last time she felt this burdenless while going out on a date. And even if this wasn't a date, in her heart she considered it as one.

As she neared the Nari's Tteokboki her heartbeat began to pick up speed. An uncertain nervousness made her hands sweat. Taking deep breaths she assured herself that it was going to be okay. She repeated that in her mind until she reached Nari's Tteokboki.

Upon reaching she let out a small sigh of relief that she didn't make Dr. Kim wait for her. She looked at her phone - it was 8:25am. While fidgeting with her phone she contemplated whether she should text him or not that she had reached there or she should wait for him until it's 8:30. As she was thinking of all this a familiar voice called her. She immediately turned back instinctively and braced herself for doing so. The wind that blew at that time momentarily made Dr. Kim's hair flow in that certain direction along with his long coat. The whole scene to Lee was like from a romance movie - highlighted, sparkling and slow motion and Dr. Kim was no less than the charming main lead. She swallowed a big gulp down her throat and looked at him agape - still in slow motion inside her mind.

She would have held that moment forever in a slow motion if Dr. Kim hadn't waved his hand very enthusiastically at her. That wave pulled her out of her imaginary world and wiping away an imaginary trail of drool she waved back, trying to be as much enthusiastic; only if her heart wasn't still in trance she would have surpassed him in enthusiasm.

"The wind was unexpected, eh?" Dr. Kim smiled sheepishly after walking upto Lee.

"Y-yeah! Quite unexpected!" Lee replied, trying to sound as normal as possible.

"Shall we get going then?" Dr. Kim asked, a soft smile plastered on his face while heading to the nearest bus stop.

-"Sure!" Lee replied nodding and tried to walk by him closely while trying being not too close.

Lee and Dr. Kim got a decent seat at the middle and Dr. Kim gladly let Lee take the window seat. Seating at the window seat a clenching feeling took over in her stomach as she remembered how she was always scolded by her mom for wanting to take the window seat - her words as Lee exactly remembered, "Let your younger sister sit there and stop being so selfish!"

She never understood why she had been called selfish by her mom all the time even after giving away everything that was supposed to be hers, even her happiness. Yet she seldom complained; only cried, alone. It had always been a constant battle within her inner self, where her mind became two - one that was selfless and another one that wanted to be selfish. Up until now she didn't know what it was like to be selfish for doing something for herself, for making herself happy. But now she knew and she also knew that she was never going to abandon being selfish.

As the bus was about to start moving a bunch of man with flower bouquets hopped in and stood a bit ahead of where Lee and Dr. Kim were sitting. Seeing so many flowers Lee's mind sent emergency alarms within a fraction of second to all her body parts making her shudder and she started frantically looking through her bag. Realising that she neither brought her mask nor her handkerchief she cursed herself quite loudly. Dr. Kim was quite alarmed too since he knew about Lee's allergic conditions. He was hoping within that no wind would blow at that time and Lee would find her mask. But seeing her cursing loudly he knew what was up and he instinctively reached his right hand into his coat pocket.

"Here, take this. It's new and I haven't used it yet. You can use this!" Dr. Kim offered his newly bought blue coloured handkerchief.

Though for a moment Lee's mind wanted to be hesitant but her survival instinct made her jump on the handkerchief just like a drowning person grabs on a twig as last resort, as if her life depended on it.

She wore the handkerchief like a mask and faced the window, still shuddering at the memories of the pain the flowers had always brought to her.

The sudden warmth engulfing her right hand made her turn her head and she noticed that Dr. Kim was holding her hand softly. She looked at him and he gave her a reassuring smile as if telling her that it's alright, he was there. Even if the gesture was small, it held an emotion that Lee needed the most at that time, an emotion that she was going to keep in her heart forever.

Her left hand curled up into a fist as she tried hard not to cry. This soothing warmth that she had longed for as long as she remembered induced a feeling that clawed at her heart and brought back memories that she wanted to forget.

~Eleven years ago~

"Lee! Lee! Where are you? We are back!" Linda's excited voice caught Lee's attention and she stopped for a while to shout back "I am doing my homework!" and went back to bury her face into the books again.

She was less than least interested in going out to see what they have brought from market because she knew it was going to be either home supplies or something for everyone except her. And even if her mom was generous enough to think about bringing something for her, she wasn't going to get her hands on it until she got lectured by her mom. So she always tried to avoid interaction with them as much as she could.

"Moooommm! Lee is not coming out of her room! I am yelling for so long. Ah! My throat hurts!"

Lee could feel a stream of anger flow inside her. In an attempt to control that she clutched her pencil too tightly which left red marks on her palm. She knew that Linda was purposefully exaggerating to mom to get her into trouble. But again she knew that her mom practically needed no excuse to bash her. So she tried to calm herself down and tried to concentrate in her notebook.

"Lee!! Come downstairs right now! What type of older sister you are? Stop being so self-absorbed all the time!"

Hearing mom's false accusations she sighed and took in a sharp long breath trying to stop the tears from coming out.

Barely managing to shout back "Coming!" Lee closed her notebook to go out to the living room.

As soon as entering the room Lee instinctively bolted backwards and bumped her ankle on the side table.

The cry of pain that came out of her mouth made Linda stop her happy dancing while holding a bouquet of chrysanthemum and turn her head.

After rubbing her fingers on her ankle Lee looked up only to find, in her horror, Linda skipping towards her. Before she could make out the course of the event Linda shoved the bouquet near her face and say gleefully, "Lee! This reminded me of you so I bought this! Do you like it?"

A series of sneezes buried Lee's answer and her face displayed a painful expression. She could feel her breath getting shallower. Her eyes filled with water as she struggled to breath. To support her weakening body she reached out her hand to grab Linda but her hand grabbed only thin air. Barely managing to cry out "Mom!" she sat down and clutched her dress near her chest trying to steady her breathing.

Even after a few moments when no one came she wiped her eyes and saw that Linda was sitting on the floor a few steps ahead looking at her with a crooked smile on her lips and shaking mildly the chrysanthemum bouquet. It didn't take Lee any extra moment to realise what was happening. She knew that no one was going to come to look after her now and she was on her own. Somehow she made her still wheezing body stand up and dragged herself to her bedroom.

She slammed her bedroom door and locking it from inside started frantically searching for her medicines. Covering herself in blanket she tried to let the medication work by calming down. Her body felt tired and numb. She wanted to die, she wanted to run away from everybody there. Tears came rushing and in her heart she felt pain, a stabbing pain. She didn't want to be there. She wanted to be alone. She didn't want to go out of her room. Her eyelids felt heavy. And she wished for an endless sleep.

She didn't know how long she slept. When she woke up her head felt heavy and she just stayed in her bed staring at the ceiling. She would have stared at it for another few hours but a loud knock at her door didn't let her. The deep voice of her father followed the sound of the knock and she made an attempt to rise up from her bed, a failed attempt. She wanted to say that she was coming but her voice had sunk into her stomach. Seconds passed quickly and her father's voice grew impatient which was quickly followed by loud bangs on the door. With the leftover strength she had she tried again and trudged towards the door. Opening the door she could see her father's worried face but she was still too tired to ask how his day was. Her legs felt like cottons, struggling to support her weight and she collapsed in her father's arm.

Lee woke up to an almost familiar scent. She fluttered her eyes open and sighed; there she was again - the hospital.

The nurse beside her went out to call for the doctor and after a few minutes the doctor came in. She smiled seeing the familiar doctor. He smiled kindly at her and after checking her pulse and eyes he started speaking trying to sound as much kind as he could while scolding Lee since she was still young, "Lee.. what did I tell you about playing with flowers last time? I know it's normal to be curious and even skeptical about your own condition but you should listen to your elders. After all we care about you."

Lee was confused. And automatically she asked, "Sorry?"

Doctor smiled broadly looking at her and said, "Oh you didn't expect that your dad would tell me that you have not been listening to us? I guess it should have been a secret between Mr. Seo and me! Since your allergy started recently you have to be extra careful as you are not used to it. After using regular medications I hope it will be under control or at least you will be able to withstand it more. But until then no playing around! Do you understand me?"

Lee moved her head slightly, not knowing what to say back, which the doctor took as a yes and he patted her head lightly and said, "Tonight you'll be staying here. Go to sleep after the nurse feeds you the medicines, okay? Your mom came to pick up your dad while you were asleep because they had some work at home I think. They will come to pick you up tomorrow morning. Rest well!" He signalled the nurse to feed her the medicines after Lee finished her dinner.

After hearing the clicking sound of the door lock closing Lee loosened her left hand that was clutching the sheet to prevent herself from crying. She looked outside the window - she felt like the trees that moved in the rhythm of the wind in the darkness were peeking curiously at her. They were curious about why there was no one who would listen to her deepest feelings, they were curious about the reason behind not having someone who would hear her whispers and interpret them correctly, why did she not have the power to heal her own wounds. She wanted to run away to those trees and hug them. She wanted to scream and tell them her story.

She curled her legs near her chest hugging herself and cried. She asked the unknown entity what wrong she did. She asked why did her dad lie to the doctor, why she was blamed for the things she never did, why did she had nobody to hold when she was hurting so much. There were countless "why"s in her mind but noone to answer them. She cried until her cover was soaking wet in that particular portion and hiccups overpowered her.

•••

"Lee… We are here," the soothing voice pulled Lee out of her flashback. How long has it been? - she wondered. When her mind instructed her to look for her phone she noticed that Dr. Kim was still holding her hand, lightly, and it filled her stomach with butterflies, lots of butterflies. Before Dr. Kim could notice she coughed lightly and he noticed his hand on hers. He immediately pulled his hand away and uttered a small "sorry" and smiled sheepishly. Lee gave him a small nod and buried her head inside her bag to find her phone but her main intention was to hide her blushing tomato face.

The cafe that he chose made Lee think that he had known her since before she knew herself. It smelled of coffee and pastries and books. It's windows were decorated with small cactus plants and numerous bulbs hanged from the ceiling making the environment an aesthetic pleasure. As she entered, the smell mesmerized her and she breathed in deeply, taking in the mixed scent of old and new books, lattes and frappuccinos, pastries and croissants. She turned her head towards Dr. Kim and seeing her bright smile his chest puffed up in pride.

They took a comfy seat near a huge book rack and her eyes began scanning through the books. Soon she found the book she has been dying to read for long. Exclaiming her joy after finding the specific book to Dr. Kim she stood up and reached her hands out for the book and like many other times in her 24 years of life she cursed herself for not being tall enough. A heavy defeated sigh came out from her lungs but before she could completely give up and before the cafe assistant could come to help her, she felt a slight shift of air behind her only to feel Dr. Kim, a second later, just too close to her as she bumped the back of her head lightly on his chest. Muttering a quick sorry he pulled out the book Lee had been struggling to get just a while ago and handed it too her with a smile. Looking up and seeing his dimples so close to her blood rushed through her face and she sat on her seat hiding her face inside the book, and pretended to smell the old pages of the book.

She tried to think quickly how she should start the conversation so that it won't look too awkward or won't give away how stupid her face looked at that time.

Taking a deep breath behind the pages of the book she put the book down and faced Dr. Kim, who himself was looking at a book.

Noticing her putting the book down he put the book in his hand down too and looked at her.

"I shouldn't get carried away. I shouldn't get carried away. His eyes are so beautiful. Gosh! I shouldn't get carried away." Lee's mind was all over the place. But before she actually got carried away she asked him, "Do you come here often?"

Not too awkward, just a simple question! "You rocked it Lee!" She patted herself mentally.

"If you call 'once a week' as 'often' then yes, I do come here often," he replied smiling.

That smile, Lee thought, she was going to faint, and all because of that smile, that damned dimpled smile.

Before she could ask anything further an elderly lady who might be the same age as her mother approached them with a warm smile to take orders.

Lee felt a pain that rose from the bottom of her chest and she smiled at the lady so fondly as if she had been longing for an eternity for that warm smile.

"Oh who do we have got here? Such a pretty young lady. Namjoon, dear, you never brought someone with you. This is such an unusual occurance! You should have given us a heads up before bringing your girlfriend to our poor shack!" The lady exclaimed and kept her right hand gently on Lee's shoulder.

Lee immediately took the lady's hand in hers and exclaimed while standing up, clearly embarrassed by the reference, "oh no no no! I am just his friend… Not his girlfriend, ha ha! And what are you calling a poor shack? This is the most amazing place I have ever been to.. just as beautiful and warm as you are.." Lee didn't know why but her throat felt like choking while uttering the last few words and she gulped hard to make that go away.

"Such a charmer, isn't she?" The lady looked at Namjoon as if she knew he would agree with her.

Not waiting for Namjoon's reaction the lady turned to look at Lee and exclaimed, "Oh! Look at my manners! It's so nice to meet you darling. I am Hwa Yeon, Namjoon's aunt."

Lee bowed immediately and introduced herself, "I am really happy to meet you too! I am Seo Lee."

"That's a pretty name! So, have you decided yet what are you going to have? Or should I recommend something?" Hwa Yeon asked.

Namjoon replied immediately, "The usual for me please."

"I'll have anything you recommend!" Lee smiled at her.

"Of course. I am coming right up! You'll love it!"

Before she could go Namjoon asked her, a little bit worried, "By the way you are busy as it is. Let your employees do it."

"Namjoon dear as I told you earlier, it's not everyday that you bring your friends along. And I am not that busy today. Sometimes the owner should get along with her workers too!"

Flashing a grin Hwa Yeon turned on her heels and made her way to the counter.

Lee turned towards Namjoon and remarked, "Dr. Kim, you seem really close with her. She is such an amazing person. It must be nice to have an aunt like her…" Her words trailed off at the end as she didn't want him hear what she said but the words had already left her mouth. She felt sad.

"Namjoon."

At the unexpected reply Lee averted her gaze from the table and looked up at him, "Sorry.. what?"

He smiled softly and repeated himself again, "Namjoon." And then proceeded to explain, "You said we are friends, right? Then you should call me Namjoon from now on. Not 'Dr. Kim'."

Lee didn't know that a simple thing like that could make her thoughts change their mood so instantly and so effectively. But it was him and every single gesture related to him had nothing but soothed her ever since they met.

She blinked her eyes, trying to figure what she should reply with but she was at a loss for words. "Snap out of it. Snap out of it Lee." She yelled at herself mentally and dazedly extended her right hand.

It wasn't until she heard Namjoon's confused "huh?" that she snapped out of it and replied with a big yet soft smile, "You should call me Lee. It's an immense pleasure meeting you Namjoon."

Namjoon was taken aback. That was the first time he had seen Lee smile like that. All the other times when she smiled there was only enthusiasm and excitement in it but in this smile a genuine happiness was radiated, and it, as Namjoon thought, was beautiful.

Namjoon felt his cheeks getting warm. "Am I blushing? Abort abort! Where should I hide my face?" Namjoon panicked as his mind went into a ruckus. But then he realised that Lee was still sticking out her hand towards him and he knew that it was a bad manner to keep a lady waiting like that. Involuntarily smiling shyly he extended his hand to shake Lee's, "Hi Lee... I am glad that I met you."

The letting go of each other's hands was quite slow. It was hesitant yet there was a longing to hold a little bit longer.

"His hands… are warm… and beautiful…" Lee stared at his hand as she let go of it thinking if she would ever be able to hold that hand for a bit longer.

They were over with the introductions but what now? An awkward silence was prevalent in the air and Lee was too nervous that she might say something dumb enough to make Namjoon think that she was not worth his friendship. On the other hand Namjoon was no less nervous. He wasn't used to talk much. The only person he has talked to more than twenty minutes was Hwa Yeon and that also took him finger counted years to get that comfortable.

"Namjoon, here's your Iced Caramel Macchiato and this flavourful Vanilla Cinnamon latte for Lee. And this straight out of the oven pastry cream croissants to take your tongue on a heavenly trip and also to wave away the smell of awkwardness lingering here!" Hwa Yeon chimed in while putting the drinks and the croissants on the table. The way she put it into her words made both Lee and Namjoon embarrassed at their transparency.

Hwa Yeon sighed a little exasperatedly and sparing momentary glances at both of them for once she moved a few inches closer to Lee and stated, as if she was giving her an advising secret, "My nephew here loves crabs! Loves as in adores them. And hates sea food!"

Lee didn't know how to respond to that as she was utterly confused why she was being given this piece of information. With a stretched "okay" Lee flashed her teeth and her eyes wandered towards Namjoon as if asking for some few extra words.

"Ah! Why would you tell her that?" Namjoon let out a whine.

You stared at this side of him which was new to you and you whispered inside your head, "Cute."

As if Hwa Yeon could read everything that was going on inside your head, she said, "I am giving Lee a heads up so that when she picks up a place to go on a date with you it isn't a sea food place!" And with that sentence she attached a quick wink at Lee and went away towards the counter - leaving the responsibility of witnessing the stir she caused upon the two flustered adults.

As soon as the word 'date' had left his aunt's mouth an embarrassed Namjoon had immediately lowered his head and hid his face behind his right hand.

Lee chuckled silently for a moment with her right hand on her mouth at Namjoon being so unexpectedly adorable. But before he could plead her to forget about the date part - much to Lee's dismay - she asked him, "So... Why do you love crabs?"

At her query, Namjoon took out his face from its hiding place and sitting in a more relaxing position, he, with a faint attempt to clear his throat, answered, "There is no specific reason to be honest," he smiled coyly, "I just really like small and cute things."

His eyes twinkled and he smiled with his lips pressed in a pout, making an effort to not let loose his big smile. That only lasted for a couple seconds though and he said with another embarrassed tone, "I know it doesn't really go along with my appearance but yeah..." His voice graduated into a duller tone and his expression seemed rather somber as he averted his gaze into the drink sitting under his nose.

"I think it suits you," Lee said while fixing her eyes on him and subconsciously wanting him to look into her eyes so that he could see how much sincerity was in her heart when she uttered each and every word, "Makes you even more adorable."

"Well, that's a first," Namjoon chuckled and placed a unwavering and soft gaze on Lee, "nobody calls me adorable except my aunt."

A malfunctioning beep went across Lee's head and she screamed mentally, "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Did I just blurt out the last part? Learn to have some self-control, you freak!" Lee placed an imaginary slap on her lips.

She was perhaps going to blurt out another unsolicited statement about how she didn't mean it, like an automated and false response but he was smiling now and the colour of his face was back which made her think that perhaps it wasn't that bad to lose self-control once in a while.

Lee's shocked eyes returned to their normal state and as her gaze met Namjoon's soft ones she replied, "That's other people's loss then. I hope you won't mind me taking the privilege of calling you adorable."

"Only if you allow me to do the same," Namjoon chirped back with a smile that almost, just almost took the shape of a smirk, knocking out a considerable amount of air out of Lee's chest.

Taking a sip from her latte, all Lee could do was humbly nod in reply and make an attempt to hide her blushing smile.

The spicy taste that spread itself over Lee's taste buds after the first sweet impression of itself made Lee's ear feel tingly, pretty much like a wave of little tingles traveling across the insides of her jaw till the inside of her ear, waking up her mouth in the process. As she felt the warmth go down her chest she exhaled contently and putting the cup down on the table she whispered out, "So good!"

At her content expression Namjoon felt a strange satisfaction bubble up inside him and he waited for her to take a bite of the croissant. Thankfully the croissant was still warm. Lee took a mouthful of it and instantly felt her inside fill up with a sweet happiness. The back of her throat felt full and her taste buds were elated. Lee moved her legs in little kicks of joy while she finished the croissant trying not to eat too fast.

"That was the best breakfast I had ever since I remember having breakfasts!" Lee exclaimed while holding Hwa Yeon's hands in hers after paying the bill.

"Then my plan to get you hooked here was a success, I suppose." Hwa Yeon replied with a mischievous yet sweet smile.

"It was a success way before you brought us the food," Lee smiled softly and then looking into Namjoon's aunt's eyes with her glistening one she whispered, "thank you."

Hwa Yeon didn't know what to make of that expression. She couldn't grasp the depth of the sadness that Lee held in her eyes while uttering those words but one thing she knew she could do was hug her immediately and with a light pat she mumbled, "I'll look forward to more thank yous from you then."

A chuckle left Lee's mouth accompanied with a few tear drops that she had been holding all this time as she nodded an enthusiastic yes and whispered, "Please do."

The bus arrived as soon as they reached the stop and they managed to secure a seat for each of them. It was same as before - Lee on the window side and Namjoon by her side but there was no flowers this time, there was no trigger for memories to snake it's grip around Lee's throat and definitely no other reason to keep her from talking to Namjoon.

But somehow Lee was sad - a sadness that was touched off by the fact that they have to part ways soon, accompanied with thoughts that said that perhaps there won't be any chance to meet each other often or soon; may be they'll fall apart before having the chance to get closer, may be they'd become just another acquaintances to each other.

A deep sigh was halfway out of Lee's lungs when Namjoon turned his head towards her a little and asked, "So, you said you are new here. Where are you from?"

Lee looked at him almost immediately and answered, "I'm from Incheon."

"Oh.. that's pretty far."

"Yeah. It is," and that's a relief, she thought.

Then she proceeded to ask, "What about you? Is this your hometown?"

"No," Namjoon exhaled a brief and quick sigh and looked straight, "my hometown is Ilsan. It's closer than yours." Saying that he proceeded to display a smile which seemed like a tool he was trying to cover up his previous antonymous expression.

Lee felt there was more to his sentence than he intended to give away but she was not in a position to be courageous enough to ask.

A minute of silence passed as both of their minds raced with their own thoughts in a desperate attempt to come to a conclusion to pick one particular thought and before Lee could, Namjoon spoke, "if," there was a moment's pause before Namjoon continued his question as if he was contemplating whether he should ask or not, "it's okay for you to tell me, what happened that night?"

Lee never expected that Namjoon would remember the state she was in when she went to his clinic but, again, it was hard to not notice someone as dishevelled as she was at that moment.

She weighed her options and the truth felt too heavy. So she lied, "It's fine, I don't mind. I actually went to a friend's wedding that day near my hometown and I caught the bouquet," displaying a sheepish smile at Namjoon she continued, "I know what you might be thinking and believe me I was aware that it wasn't a good idea but the desire to be part of it took over my logical thinking."

Lee looked down at her twiddling fingers and resumed narrating her made-up incident, "I had to be here in Seoul the very next morning so I took the bus available so that I can arrive before it's too late in the night... That resulted in me holding my discomfort for that long," Lee shifted her gaze to Namjoon who was looking at her with those deep eyes as if trying to understand her and she gave him a carefree smile, "hence, that resulted in me looking like a mad woman."

Namjoon couldn't help but notice the sadness in her eyes that she was trying to hide behind that smile. Namjoon thought about a thousand comfort words but nothing came out of his mouth except, "I wouldn't say that. More like troubled? So it was a little concerning," and he reciprocated her smile.

"You could put it that way I guess." Lee laughed mildly.

●●●

After getting off the bus Namjoon looked at his watch and almost panicked, "Ah! I am going to be late!"

And to that Lee gave an immediate response, "You should get going!"

"Ah! What should I do? I should walk you to your apartment," his lips almost turned upside down.

"It's totally fine! Trust me! It's hardly fifteen minutes walk from Nari's Tteokboki. And I am going to make a phone call from that phone booth anyways," she pointed towards a lone grey coloured phone booth standing at a turning ahead of them beside a street lamp on the footpath across the main road, "you should really get going. I'll be fine!"

After spotting the phone booth Lee was pointing at Namjoon looked at her with surprise and query in his eyes, "Wow, it's so rare to see working phone booths nowadays! Anyways, what happened to your phone?"

"Ah!" Lee fished out her phone from her sling bag and vaguely waving it she answered, "It died a while ago. But fret not," Lee straightened her back a little bit more and kept her right hand on her chest as if making an oath, "I'll text you as soon as I reach my apartment."

Namjoon giggled at her gesture and said, "Then let me at least accompany you to the other side of the road."

Lee smiled thinking that a few more minutes with him didn't sound too bad and she replied, "As the gentleman wishes."

As the traffic light turned red they both crossed the road hurriedly and after reaching safely Namjoon said, "I should hurry back. I'll wait for your text. Get home safe, hm?"

Lee gave him a light nod which Namjoon took as his cue to depart. Namjoon waved a quick bye and crossed the road hastily. Taking his bicycle that was parked in the bicycle stand by the bus stop he turned and waved at her again from the other side before dashing and disappearing in the next turning.

Lee's hand lingered a few seconds longer up in the air before slowly going into her sling bag and bringing out her cellphone.

Turning on her heels she started walking towards the phone booth while switching the phone on. She apologized to Namjoon mentally as her phone lighted up displaying the charge of it at 94 percent, "Sorry Namjoon, I had no other option."

Entering the glass box with grey rim she felt all the nerves in her body jumble up in a frantic attempt to escape. A minute passed as she repeatedly curled her palms into a fist to shake off the coldness. She debated with herself whether she should give up now and return some other time or not. A part of her wanted to run away because it was not ready to face what it left behind. On the other hand, another part of her wanted to reach out to what it didn't want to leave behind. And looking at the phone screen which displayed the name along with its number she chose to follow the later one, "I have to call Logan. At least he must be worried," a melancholic smile appeared across her face only to disappear the next moment.

Inserting the coin and dialling the number Lee stood there waiting with her eyes closed as the phone rang. With each passing ring she felt the urge to put the receiver down and flee but she knew that if she gets out of there right now there probably won't be a sooner time when she would be able to convince herself to go back in there and make the call. So she stood there, with her feet sinking into the ground more with each passing second. And just when she was starting to feel a distant relief that the call would go unanswered, his voice was heard from the other side.

-"Hello? Who is this?"

-"Hey, big baby..."

Lee's voice choked as she tried to hold back herself from breaking down into tears.

There was a few moments' pause from Logan's side before his shaky voice was heard.

-"Noona? Is that you?"

-"..it's me."

-"Are you alright? Did you see a doctor that night?"

-"I am alright and yes, I did see a doctor and took medicines. I felt a lot better after that."

-"That's a relief... Where are you?"

-"Just somewhere... It's a nice place, so don't worry."

-"You don't even wanna tell me?"

-"I am just not ready to face anyone yet... And you know mom. She'll probably figure it out if you come to see me."

-"You are right..."

Lee heard a light chuckle from him before he continued speaking.

-"Are you really okay though? Is it comfortable? Is the food good? Do you need some money? I can send it to you without mom noticing!"

-"Woah! You have really grown up, huh? Offering your big sister money? Wow!"

-"Come on! It's nothing like that you know..."

-"I know. I know. I was just joking."

-"I am just worried... Are you taking care of yourself?"

-"Of course! I am taking good care of myself. I have enough money. The place is nice. The food is really good. And I met some really nice people."

-"That's a relief then. But you promise me that you'll call me if anything happens and you need my help, alright?"

-"As you say. But enough about me. How are you? How are... others doing?"

-"I am doing fine. I just miss you a lot. The others... are worried about you. ."

-"We both know that's a lie. Mom and Lin must be overjoyed. I guess, dad may be a worried about me a little bit but mom must have stopped him from reaching out."

-"Well, that's the Seo family for you."

-"Ha ha. You are right. By the way I think this call will come to an end soon. I'll call you later someday."

-"Okay.. take care of yourself. Unblock me and call me soon..."

Before Logan could complete his sentence his voice got buried by a pair of voice calling him frantically, that Lee could recognise as Logan's friends, who happened to be their neighbours as well.

Their tired voice sounded as if they had been running. Between their ragged breaths they somehow managed to say, "Aunty is giving all of Lee's stuffs away to the trash picker! Come quick."

With the last words before the abrupt disconnection of the call Lee felt her senses going numb. With disbelief and shock her already glued feet sank even more into the ground. Seconds grew into minutes as she stood there, unable to move. With a flat line going across her mind she could only hear a continuous extended beep sound in her ears.

When the initial shock settled in her thoughts made a crowd, "My stuff? What should I do? What will I do?"

●●●

"Mom! What are you doing?" Lee yelled as soon as she saw her old books and notebooks piled up in the front yard of the house and a trash picker was weighing some of it in a handy weighing machine.

"Can't you see? I am giving away the trash." Her mom replied with an almost expressionless face while looking over the machine to take notes of weight of every pile.

"Those are my things. Shouldn't you have at least waited for me to come out from the bathroom and ask after that?" Lee fumed while walking over to the pile with big steps.

"You take so long to bath! Not everyone is going to wait for you," her mother frowned at her.

"You should have! These belong to me! You already give away my favourite clothes without asking me! I never tell you anything! But these... These are not trash..," her voice reduced to a whisper, "they are... memories," tears welled up in her eyes as she started collecting her books back from the man quickly.

"How ostentatious," Lee's mother scoffed, "memories? Let me see what kind special memories you have in there," she extended her hands at the notebook lying on the top of the small pile Lee was holding.

As an instinctive reaction, Lee backed away, refusing to let Mrs. Seo touch her notebook. Lee's mother grimaced and held herself back from making a scene in front of a stranger by clenching her palms into a painful fist.

Taking this opportunity Lee collected all her things and took them back inside.

About half an hour or so later, there was a knock on the door of Lee's room. She was anticipating with a nervous heart that her mom will come sooner or later to give her a piece of her mind. Lee didn't want to open the door but when the knock grew louder she made a short run from her bed to the door.

Her mom entered the room in a flash and before she could figure out her mom strode towards her bed and began unloading all the trash from the bin on it. And before Lee could unfreeze from the initial shock her mom was done emptying the entire bin and with the grimacing expression that she had displayed outside before coming back on her face she ordered, "Take what's yours from there. And if I ever see you putting your things in the bin then you just count on me being this kind."

Lee winced at the sudden loud sound made by her mom as she slammed the door shut behind her after getting out.

Lee stood there in the same place motionless. A scream of helplessness and anger tried to push its way out of her throat from the depths of her aching chest but she pushed them further down by physically gulping hard.

When the initial shock of it subsided into a dying sorrow, she turned around and walked upto her bed. Slowly slowly she started picking up the wrappers of the chocolates and snacks she threw in the bin that week. As she was doing so, teardrop fell relentlessly blocking her vision and when she looked at the finger counted wrappers belonging to her on one side and one too many of the garbage on another side not belonging to her, the dying sorrow in her heart revolutionised itself into an undead anger and in that formidable emotion she put all of the that remaining garbage in a plastic bag and wiping the tears she stepped out of her room and walked with long steps towards the kitchen where her mother, her sister and her father were discussing excitedly about Linda's wedding which was five months away.

Seeing her walking into the kitchen area, the smiles on their faces faded slowly. As the others watched curiously, Mrs. Seo opened her mouth to say something but instead she shrieked when Lee began to unload the plastic on the kitchen floor.

"Why you little.." Lee's mother raised her hand at her in an instant rage but Lee swiftly backed away and with her expressionless face and blank eyes directed at them she stated before turning around and walking away, "I took care of my trash, you take care of yours."

●●●

With shaky hands Lee somehow managed to put the receiver down on its place. The air inside the booth felt too heavy to breathe in. It's almost as if she couldn't take in the air even if she tried to.

The grief of losing the things, the material memories, she treasured all her life, weighed down on her chest and she gasped for air to tolerate the agony.

Her legs felt like jelly as she flung open the gate but as soon as she took one step forward her legs gave up and she fell on the ground. Her knees hurted. It hurted so bad.

The pain triggered the tears that were supposed to fall long ago and she wept, "It hurts. Mom... It hurts so much. Aaghh."

She was so preoccupied in dealing with her own emotions that she had failed to notice the rain that had started to fall earlier. Now, as she wept, the rain gained its speed and volume as if it's trying to match the intensity of her inner turmoil.

The rain water dripped through her hair, her clothes, soaking her completely. Even though Lee wanted to get up she couldn't find the energy in herself to do so. So she kept herself there in the same position as few people ran past her to find shelter from the rain. People stared at her from a distance – some with curiosity, some with concern. A few people shouted at her to get inside the shade of the booth. But those words fell into deaf ears. How could she get into the space again that she escaped from?

The involvement of other people became overbearing for her by the growing second, so she tried to calm herself down by wiping away her tears that were constantly getting washed away by the rain. Her vision was constantly getting blocked by the rain water.

As she straightened herself to get up on the slippery pavement, suddenly she stopped feeling the constant drop of water on her and she felt a warm hand on her arm.

Looking up, looking into his eyes, under the protection of the umbrella, her face distorted in the pain she was trying to drive away, as new tears welled up in her eyes. She wanted to hide this side of herself from him so much, she tried so hard but may be in a hidden corner of her heart she wanted him to be there - to see her scars, to tell her it was okay.

And before any of these wishes came to Lee's lips, Namjoon tried to smile softly despite the concern dripping from his eyes, while helping her get up at her pace; and with his ever healing voice he said, "It's okay. I am here."

■□■□■□■□■□■

-> Chapter four

23 notes · View notes