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bonkwrites · 2 years

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Big Bad Boy

Nandor x F!Reader

Warnings: NSFW, minors dni, piv sex, monster-fucking, nandor is a respectful vampire, this is a mess, seduction, dirty talk.

Word Count: ~1.8k

“Why would you want to seduce Nandor? Of all people?” Nadja asks through her laughter.

“Fuck off, Nadja.” You seethe. “I’ll do it myself.”

“You want to seduce Nandor?!”

“Keep your voice down!”

“Sorry.”

You slap your hand to your forehead and lean forward in a groan. You’ve been seeing (dating?) Nandor for about a month and he hasn’t wanted to… have sex with you yet. It’s getting kind of discouraging. So, you resulted to asking the one person you thought might be able to help you– Nadja. But, here she is laughing at you!

“Why would you want to seduce Nandor? Of all people?” Nadja asks through her laughter. Your face is hot and you feel embarrassed. Why wouldn’t you want to sleep with him? He’s your partner, isn’t he?

“Fuck off, Nadja.” You seethe, getting to your feet and starting to walk away with crossed arms. “I’ll do it myself.”

You ignore her giggles and walk stiffly away, trying to cool your red face. You’re still pouting, arms crossed and marching towards the front door to leave for the night and figure something out when you stop abruptly upon slamming into someone.

“Hello, my love. Are you in a rush?" Nandor's voice fills your ears and you look up at him, face still red.

"Let's have sex." You blurt out, unable to think of anything else quickly. You smooth your hands over his chest while you try to layer on a seductive look. Nandor's eyes go wide in shock.

"W-What?" Nandor asks, looking down at you with shock all over his face.

"It's just- I'm- am I undesirable?" You ask, staring up at him with your hands still on his chest. Nandor takes your hands in his while shaking his head.

"No!" He insists. He leans down and kisses you quickly before pulling back again. "You told me you wanted to take things slowsies, did you not?"

"I did." You reply, thinking back to the apprehension you felt about being the lover of a big and scary vampire that you now realize is just an oversized cat of a person. "But, I'm ready now. Are you?"

"I will give you whatever you want." Nandor professes. He says that a lot to you, you realize, and he always means it when he does.

"I want you." You layer on. Nandor blinks down at you, a smirk slowly forming over his lips. "Can I have you?"

"Of course." He leans down to capture your lips as he speaks and you whimper against his mouth when you make contact.

His hands slide down your sides and take a hold on your hips to pull you in. You push your hands into his hair and he groans when your fingers touch his scalp.

"Bed, Nandor." You whisper against his lips as arousal sparks in between your legs. "My- my bed."

He nods and lays a kiss to your cheek before he's leaning down and scooping your legs up around his waist. You gasp and hold onto him with a small shout. Nandor chuckles and you grip tighter onto his shoulders.

"It scared me!" You exclaim, much to his delight. He tightens one hand around your waist as he walks up the stairs and you think with a quickening heartbeat that your man is so strong.

You'd never admit it to anyone, not with how much an independent woman is desired in today's world, but having Nandor take care of you is probably the sexiest thing he's ever done. He's your big, strong, powerful man and you love him every second for it. You kiss him once he reaches the top of the stairs, holding his face in your hands as he walks you back to hold you against the wall.

You wiggle your hips and grind down, trying to get friction where you need it most. Nandor moans against your lips when you grind against his hard cock. You whimper and move faster against him.

"Have I denied you so that you would hump me like a dog, my heart?" Nandor's voice is in your ears, wavering with pleasure, and you're nodding to the truth. He growls, his hands diving for your hips to hold you steady and grind against you in return.

"Fuck me." You beg against his lips. "Please, Nandor, fuck me."

"I will." He replies, reaching blindly to his right for the handle of your door. He kisses you again before he's carrying you through the open door and closing it with his foot.

He sets you down on your feet and you get to pulling your clothes off immediately. Your own arousal has clouded your ever-insecure brain as you pull your shirt over your head. Nandor, in seconds it seems, is left in only his shirt and you are left in only your panties. You lay back on the bed, shuffling your way up to the pillows, and Nandor stands at the foot of the bed like he's frozen in time.

"N-Nandor…?" You question, pulling your closed legs toward you. You think about maybe putting your shirt back on.

"I know that you want to take things slowsies." He begins to crawl up the bed. "But, now that I have seen you…" his hands smooth up your thighs and you spread your legs with only a little hesitation to accommodate him- "I do not think I can ever resist you again."

"Don't." You reply. "You can- you can have me whenever you want."

"Oh, yes?" He asks, leaning down to kiss your lips, your cheek, your neck that you bare so willingly to him. You nod, hands tightening in the sheets. He raises his lips to your ear.

"What if I want to keep you in here?" Arousal fires through you and you whimper at the idea. "I'll come back to you, when I need satisfaction."

"Nandor…" You whine, desperate for him to touch you. He smirks against your neck and you shiver at the feeling of his teeth against your skin.

"Can I put my mouth on you?" He asks. Oh my god, you think with an enthusiastic nod.

He smiles and kisses you again before he starts to move downwards. You watch with your breath held as he leaves kisses down your chest and over your stomach. You gasp when he sucks a mark into your thigh and he chuckles.

"I do not usually tease," he says against your soft skin, you put your hands into his hair and whimper, "but your reactions are so fun to hear, my love. Moan for me again."

"You're being unfair…" You reply, wiggling your hips and trying to tempt him. He chuckles and then leans forward to lick a wide stripe over your pussy, tasting you. You fall back against the bed and sigh out a moan.

You knew Nandor was an experienced lover, but that knowledge was nothing now that he's actually between your legs. He eats you out like he's starving, growling and pressing his fingers into your thighs. You're grinding your hips forward, moaning and reaching for his hair to pull. The resulting moan is absolute debauchery and it makes a rush of arousal flood through you. God, you wonder if Nandor would ever let you ride his face.

"That's it." Nandor says, pulling his mouth away to watch your face as he pushes a finger into you. You tighten around it and whimper, spreading your legs to try to pull more of him in. "Tell me how you feel."

"Good! Good…" your voice trails off as you grip the sheets. "I want more."

Nandor nods, his lips pressed to your thigh again as he sunk one more finger into you and you went silent.

"I have deprived you, haven't I?" Nandor asks as he slowly pumps his fingers inside of you. You shake your head but your hips don't stop moving.

"No?" Nandor asks, voice coy and dripping with arousal. "Then tell me, why are you humping my hand? Hmm?"

"Because I need you!" You cry out. Nandor moans and leans forward to suck and lick your clit again.

He brings his free hand up to press on your lower stomach and you keen at the feeling, legs tightening around his head as you chase your release. Your moans and whimpers get louder and louder, pitching higher and higher until you're tipping over the edge.

"Nandor!" You shout in overstimulation, pushing at his forehead. He pulls back, licking his lips and swiping away the wetness on his chin with his hand.

"You are delicious." Nandor says, crawling up your body to kiss you. You kiss him back, holding his face in your hands.

"Can I.. can I.." he's struggling to get words out beyond you kissing him and just nodding enthusiastically. You push a hand between you to feel him and he moans, dropping his face to your shoulder.

"Yes." You whisper into his ear. You guide him in, letting go as he finally, finally pushes into you.

Your moans mingle in the sweaty, humid air. You put your hand on the back of his head, tangling your fingers in his hair as he thrusts his hips. He sets a slow and deep pace, leaving you breathless on every thrust. He brings an arm under your hips and you gasp at the small change in position. He's got his hips angled just the right way to hit your g-spot and you cry out as he does.

"Is that it?" He asks, voice breathless and dark. You nod and reach for him blindly, finding his hands to grip them tightly.

"Feel so good." Nandor says as he moves up to kiss you. "My heart, you feel so good."

"Nandor~" You moan, hips twitching against him. You're getting close again and you feel so helpless to hold out while being pinned beneath him like this. His face falls to your neck and you let go of his hands to scratch at his back and shoulders as you cum.

He moans against your shoulder, hands tightening on your hips and the sheets as he pushes entirely inside of you and cums. You go slack, content, and lay a kiss on his hair. He pulls his head up and kisses you, pulling out of you and relishing in the little whimper you let out at being empty.

"Stay right here." He whispers against your lips and you nod, watching him get up from the bed and walk away.

He returns with a warm, damp towel and sits just below your legs to clean you up of both him and you. He leans down to press a kiss to the inside of your knee and you blush, looking away from him. Why is it that Nandor fucked you shamelessly not even ten minutes ago but this is making you blush?

"I love you." You whisper into the air, terrified of his reaction. What if that's not how he felt? What if that isn't what he wanted from you?

"And I you, my light." Nandor replies, his cheek against your knee. He tosses the towel to the floor and comes to lay beside you again.

"Wanna go again?" You ask, mostly joking.

"I think that would kill you." He jokes in reply, kissing you. You can't help yourself with deepening the kiss, just to hear him whimper.

#nandor the relentless #nandor x reader #nandor the himbo #nandor #nandor smut #nandor the relentless smut #wwdits #what we do in the shadows #wwdits smut

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indigayghost · 3 months

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Tiny little thing I'll probably never finish

The Cat

Guillermo sighed happily feeling the hot water on his back. He had planned to take a relaxing shower, maybe moisturize his hair, define the curls he was letting grow a little… All in all he was planning on not dealing with vampire bullshit. It was too innocence of his part to believe he would manage that.

“GUILLERMO! GUILLERMO COME, QUICK!” Nandor screamed, banging the entrance door close. Guillermo felt his heart exploding, he wrapped himself in his towel, almost falling with his face on the floor, grabbed a stake in the drawer and runned to the fancy room. Runned gracefully, not at all slipping all over the place.

“What?! What happened?” He asked, one hand branding the stake, the other holding the towel. He hoped it wasn't the werewolves again, it would be annoying to fight the werewolves naked, the fur sticks to the blood, it's a mess.

“Look!” Nandor smiled, sitting cross legged on the floor. And then Guillermo noticed he was holding a thing, lifting it up for Guillermo to see.

“What's this?”

“It's a cat, Guillermo.”

“Yeah, I know it's a cat. Why is the cat here?”

“Because I brought her. Look at her! She's so tiny!”

Nandor cradled the kitten again, petting it's head. Guillermo would not think it's cute, not after Nandor destroyed his relaxing not-dealing-with-vampire-bullshit evening.

“Nandor you can't just bring a cat inside!”

“Why not?!”

Guillermo cleaned his throat.

“Well it can be a vampire.”

“She's not a vampire, Guillermo. She's a cat.”

“It can be a vampire-cat.”

“She's just a cat-cat.”

“You can't be sure of that. What if it's an assassin trying to make you lower your guard and then kill you?” Guillermo put his hands on his waist. Nandor lifted a brow at him, not buying it at all. “Everytime there's an animal inside this house something bad happens.”

“Oh, really? List one time an animal was inside this house and something bad happened.”

“Well there was the squirrel-”

“What squirrel?”

“Shut up, let me talk.” Nandor opened his mouth to reprime Guillermo for his lack of respect, but decided to not argue with him. It had nothing to do with the fiery stare Guillermo sent him. “Well there was the squirrel that actually was a vampire assassin. There was Black Pete the goat. There was the raccoons I had to steal rabies shots from the veterinary clinic-”

“I did the worst part-”

“You killed the veterinarian, I had to find the right shots and vaccinate the raccoons without getting rabies myself!” Nandor rolled his eyes. “There was the crows-”

“They were just bringing messages! They're good workers!”

“And they shit a lot!”

“It's good for the soil!”

“The roof is not soil, Nandor!”

“Whatever! Bella is staying!” Nandor said, hugging the cat against his chest, definitely not pouting. He wasn't pouting at all.

“Don't call it Bella.”

“Don't you think she looks like a Bella?”

“She does look a little bit like- No! You don't even know if it's female!”

“Don't disrespect her gender identity, Guillermo. This isn't very el-bee-gee-tee friendly of you.”

Guillermo opened his mouth to argue, but decided against it and just sighed.

“You know what? Fine. Keep your vampire-cat. But if it kills you I'll kill you!”

“If she kills me I'll be dead! You can't kill me if I'm dead!”

“I'll find a way!”

“Fine!” Nandor said.

“Fine!” Guillermo responded.

“Fine!” Nandor said while Guillermo turned to leave the room. Then Guillermo turned to face Nandor again.

“Oh, and don't ask me for help taking care of her. You'll buy her food, and clean her litter box, and brush her fur and whatever!”

“Fine! I don't need your help!”

“Fine!”

Guillermo banged the door behind him. And then opened it again.

“And you will tell Nadja about her!”

“Fine! Actually Guillermo, can you go talk to Nadja with me?”

Guillermo does went to talk to Nadja with Nandor after a not super relaxing bath (no moisturizing and curl defining for him). Well, he wasn't going to advocate for the cat, but if Nadja killed Nandor he wouldn't be able to kill Nandor after the cat kills him, so it's more about Nandor than about the cat, really.

The cute little black eyes and the cute teeny little black beans wouldn't change his mind. He wasn't falling a little bit in love with Bella, not even when she started to make biscuits in Nandor's beard and it made him giggle and it was the sweetest sound he ever heard.

He wouldn't need to deal with his not love for the kitten for too long, though, because Nadja would never let the kitten stay so he would only need to deal with a crying Nandor for a bit until he moved into his next thing.

“Oh, hello little girl! Look at how sweet you are!” Nadja cooed over the kitten the moment Nandor showed her. She booped the cat's nose with her long nails and laughed when it tried to bite her. “What's her name?”

“It's Bella.”

“Oh, sweet little Bella! Just like Twilight!” Nadja said, at the same time Nandor said “Just like Twilight!”

Guillermo was starting to think he was losing this battle.

#wwdits #nandor the relentless #guillermo de la cruz #nadja of antipaxos #wwdits fanfic #Cool writing tag I definitely have

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soppingwetguywife · 8 months

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you know what boggles my mind about these takes on guillermo and his great big betrayal this season? it's the fact that some people have managed to so thoroughly divorce this arc from what happened last season as if the two don't correlate. as if the fact that nandor betrayed guillermo first and in one of the worst ways he could think of has nothing to do with where they are now

okay so there are Four of these and they're all SO correct so im gonna put all of them and my thoughts under the cut (yeah i know nobody comes to my blog for Hot WWDITS Takes (or.... for anything) but this whole situation has me pressed okay) thank you so much anon i NEED to talk about this

"and i don't mean that in the way that some have meant it in a guillermo is doing this for revenge type of way but just that freddie was his last straw but instead of leaving like he would have before he decided to stay on his own terms. he decided that for once fuck what nandor wants, he'll do what he wants instead. guillermo literally started of season 4 saying he was looking out for number one and then he didn't for MONTHS but sure he's a monster for following up on his promise to himself" "and freddie isn't just some isolated incident that doesn't have any context. take this from guillermo's pov, he spent weeks (maybe months? unclear on timeline here) preparing a wedding, being asked to do impossible shit but somehow coming through and his reward was that one moment of nandor admitting he cares for him by calling him his best man (we know he meant best friend so did memo i'm sure) and then nandor had to take that away." "'cause just so we're clear best friends don't fuck your boyfriend. there might have been some extra steps there but ultimately that is what nandor did and he didn't think to stop for a second why he was doing it, if it would hurt guillermo, just nothing. so guillermo i think was back to square one, nothing has changed nandor can be kind for one second and do something so blindingly selfish and cruel the next and this fandom really expected him to lie down and take it"

THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN!!! YOU GET IT ANON!

so, i must start with this. every season, almost always, continues in a sort of vacuum. not so much that there's no continuity, because there usually is! so let's just follow guillermo, because there's a point i want to make here.

S1- guillermo learns he is a slayer. S2- guillermo reveals he has spent the past summer killing vampires to keep the house safe, which leads into the finale; guillermo goes and rescues the vampires from the theatre in a Beautiful display of murder. S3- guillermo is trapped in a cage, because of that Beautiful display of murder, which leads into the finale; guillermo agrees to go away with nandor on a world trip and eventual turning (this goes wrong, which leads to) S4- guillermo finally returns from being stuck in england, a year AFTER the end of s3, which leads into the finale; guillermo goes to derek to be turned.

NOW. let's assess where the VAMPIRES start and finish throughout the seasons.

and the answer to that is; exactly where they fucking started. because s4 was right. nothing changes. colin robinson dies and is reborn and grows and in the end, he's exactly where he started. nadja grows and learns and tries to forge an identity for herself, and then she fails, and she's exactly where she started. laszlo... okay, laszlo's just along for the ride. and he LIKES where he started. nandor started as a neurotic, cool-hearted washed-up-warlord who tries to be strong, passionate, the leader that everyone looks up to. he doesn't seem to notice nobody looks up to him except guillermo, because duh, why would he notice guillermo? and every season, we're right back to where we started. we see them grow closer, and then we see them ripped apart! and every new season, we're back to joking at his expense. the only notable difference this season is that nandor sort of HAS grown more tolerant of him, a building through-line that we have only seen through guillermo, the only character that changes enough for a bond to be formed rather than assumed (ie; the foot locker, the self-help book, the being insanely jealous that laszlo is spending his time with him) (as opposed to his friendship with the vampires, one that has always been sort of assumed except for with colin robinson, something that s5e6 pretty thoroughly shattered)

this season, we are seeing the inevitability of five seasons and nearly fourteen years of guillermo assuring himself that he would get what he wanted, that he hadn't given up his family and his job and his emotions and the parts of his brain that are... well, human, for nothing. he has been promised and promised and promised that this is the time, this is when the time is right, just TRUST in the inevitability of change in a house full of people that never change and never want to. he has been growing and changing every season, growing stronger, more confident, more capable, unlike the vampires.

but because guillermo is the butt of the joke, because he HAS to be, right? because he has to always be the one that suffers (learning his bloodline kills the very thing he loves, being LOCKED UP for PROTECTING the very thing he loves, being locked in a COFFIN just when he was going to get it, and FINALLY being turned only to be turned wrong and in the most horrible, ugly way???? (well, for him, for me it was a visual treat, love me a man covered in blood)) it turns out that there's this cute little rule! one that we've never seen before (though there is some hinting toward this, i suppose, in the case of celeste, right? she never poached, only took unattached familiars. did she know? we'll never find out, i don't think!) and now the thing he loves (person he loves the most) will be his end, because of course it is, right? and of course he definitely deserves it, right? because he's the butt of the joke, the silly little human who dared to make his OWN life better rather than waiting for a day that was so clearly never gonna come unless he held them at stakepoint or he did.... exactly what he did.

nandor is the deciding factor. and from what we've seen of him for the past five seasons, he's gonna bluster and threaten and probably challenge him to a fight to the death or something stupid like that, but it's not like he has any real bite anymore anyway? but he's NEVER gonna let this go, i don't think, which is INSANE considering how much guillermo has been letting slide for YEARS in terms of his behavior.

if nandor wanted to do it himself, he should have considered 'why the hell would guillermo EVER be late to the one thing he's been telling me for years that he always wanted?'

instead we see in s4e1 that he BLAMES guillermo for leaving him, and refuses to hear anything to the contrary. and again in s5e5, he blames guillermo for not being there for them, and refuses to hear anything to the contrary. to him, the human will always be at fault, and he will always be their better, and it is going to take guillermo not BEING a human anymore to shake that out of him.

from there, it's all up to him, really! (we have to also account for the classic wwdits 'yeah they're all just idiots, they'll be totally fine with it and they'll be back to being besties by s6e2' because i have little faith in any sort of emotional continuity after every season's constant stunting of everyone's Almost-Emotional-Growth)

i genuinely do not know if this made any sense. but i wanted to talk about how the way we've watched guillermo grow and take responsibility for himself makes it so clear that he SHOULDN'T just sit down and take it, even though he seems very much like he's more than willing to. i'm not gonna touch the whole virginity and slut-shaming metaphors, because i do NOT feel qualified to discuss them, and better people have done it (though i do think a lot of them are biased toward nandor rather than guillermo) but i just think that in the lines of continuity, this was EXPECTED, and it being treated like a season-long punchline isn't particularly fair to guillermo! which is the point of the show, and the counter-point of this rant!

guillermo deserves better, he got it, and now they just have to let him HAVE it.

#wwdits meta #wwdits s5 spoilers #guillermo de la cruz #long post #wwdits rant #idk its sort of a rant #it's not NEGATIVE though i guess i can see the ways in which it might be taken that way #its more critical i guess #i'm not gonna tag it as a ship thing because it's really more a meditation on guillermo's place in the plot #thank you for the ask anon your words inspired utter insanity in my brain #anyway it's almost midnight! time to go to bed for me #if people wanna be mad abt this post pls keep it to urself or i guess send me an ask ill check it in the morning

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obeydontstray · 1 year

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Here Comes Your Man

Guillermo stood on the deck next door, overlooking his vampire roommates minus Colin Robinson.

“What are you doing out here?”

“What does it look like we are doing Gizmo! We are swimming!” Nadja said harshly.

“Sean is on vacation and we like his pool.” Laszlo replied.

Nandor was dead to rights, floating on his stomach, his face underwater.

“Get naked, get in!” Laszlo said and Guillermo’s face blanched.

“Naked? Are you naked in there?” He asked, glancing over at Nandor’s body. He was sporting the pants he often worked out in at the gym.

“Of course!” Laszlo grinned. “The good lady wife and I were having sex in the hot tub.”

Guillermo glanced at the hot tub, a look of disgust on his face.

“We were just about to leave. I think Nandor’s double dead.” Nadja said and Laszlo splashed water at the other man, scaring him into surfacing.

Guillermo watched as Nandor surfaced, blowing water out of his face and flipping his wet hair back. Water was dripping down his broad shoulders and his muscular chest. Guillermo sucked in a deep breath and looked down at the deck.

“Guillermo! Get in!” He cheered. “Swim with us!”

“We are going inside.” Nadja said. “Time for shower sex!”

Guillermo looked away from the couple as they climbed out. Nandor swam to the side closest to Guillermo and looked up at him. He crossed his arms on the side of the pool and rested his chin on them.

“Come swimming with me. Laszlo and Nadja are no fun, they just kiss each other the whole time.”

“I don’t think I want to.”

“Please?” Nandor pouted. “Get in, or I’ll throw you in.” He grabbed a nearby palm sized ball. “Sean has a volleyball net! I bet you can’t beat me!”

“I have so much more to do than play pool volleyball with you.”

Nandor jumped up, propelling himself over the edge to grab at Guillermo’s ankle. The younger man cried out and stepped back, falling on his butt on the deck. “Get in!”

Guillermo kicked at Nandor’s hand. “Alright, hang on! I don’t want to get everything wet.”

Nandor moved back to hanging on the side of the pool, chin resting on his arms as he watched Guillermo empty his pockets. He kicked off his shoes and looked at Nandor.

“Can you like…not stare at me while I undress?”

There was a goofy look on Nandor’s face suddenly, a big grin. “Guillermo are you going to swim in the nudes?”

“No!”

“I’ll get nude with you!”

“NO!” Guillermo exerted, his face red. “Keep your pants on!”

He pulled off his sweater and kicked off his pants until he was in his button down shirt and black boxers. Nandor made a come hither motion with his fingers. “C’mon! Come play with me!” He said as he tossed the volleyball at him.

Eventually Guillermo was up to his chest in the water, his shirt half soaked. “Four!” Nandor shouted, smacking the ball. “Wrong sport!” Guillermo reminded him for the second time that night as he sidestepped, nearly getting smacked in the face with the ball. Thinking about it, he took his glasses off and laid them gently on the deck.

He hit the ball back and Nandor hit it, knocking it far out of the pool. Guillermo sighed in relief.

“Guillermo go get it.”

“You go get it!”

Nandor huffed, arms crossing over his chest. “Fine! That game was boring anyway!”

He moved and ducked into the water, slipping under the net and into Guillermo’s side of the pool. He surfaced and lay on his back. “Float with me, Guillermo. Look at the stars, they are so pretty!”

Guillermo did as he wished, stretching out and laying backwards. Nandor was right, the stars were beautiful tonight.

Even underwater, he could hear piano music from their house next door. Without Nadja’s singing, Lazslo’s playing was beautiful.

He felt movement near his outstretched fingers and he could barely believe it when he felt Nandor’s fingers intertwined with his.

The two floated in silence and Guillermo dared not move, afraid that he’d ruin the moment and Nandor would retract his hand.

Nandor’s voice was muffled with Guillermo’s ears being below the line of water, but he clearly heard Nandor’s quiet laugh. “We are like sea otters.”

“Sea otters?” He asked, his voice sounding too loud in his own ears.

“They hold hands so they don’t float away from each other.”

Guillermo gulped down the anxiety, gathering all his courage to ask quietly, “Are you afraid I’ll float away, Master?”

He felt the water move next to him and Nandor moved upright in the water, letting his fingers slip from Guillermo’s. The younger man instantly regretted asking the question. He let himself get too comfortable, Nandor was going to close himself off again like he always did. He took a deep breath and righted himself in the water as well.

“You have before and I never want you to leave me again.”

Taking a deep breath again, Guillermo had to take his eyes off of the vampire. He watched the underwater lights dancing in the ripples coming from the filter.

This would be like it always was. Deep confessions, a crumb of two of affection. Then Nandor would be the stubborn jackass he always is and things will go back to how they always were. And he knew he’d stay, because those crumbs of affection were enough to make sparks in his heart.

As dumb as he was to stay, he kind of liked the electricity he felt when Nandor touched him.

He jumped, slightly startled when Nandor did touch him. The other man’s fingertips brushed the wet curls from his forehead and for a moment, they locked eyes. Nandor bit his lip lightly and withdrew his hand, pretending to be as interested in the lights in the pool as Guillermo had been.

“I’m not going anywhere.” Guillermo confessed, his throat suddenly dry and too tight.

“Good, because I need someone to shine my shoes. I’m no good at it.” Nandor proclaimed, sloshing past Guillermo.

The human let out a frustrated sigh, his hands balling into fists beneath the water. “Fucking guy!” He mumbled beneath his breath

#nandermo #nandor the relentless #guillermo de la cruz #nandor x guillermo #what we do in the shadows #wwits

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gerardwaygirlmoments · 8 months

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What We Do In the Shadows: The Musical Episode

I saw someone on Reddit say that the show would have officially jumped the shark if there was a musical episode, so here's my idea of how that would go!

It takes place a little before the s5 finale, so Nadja still thinks she has to be nice to people to break her hex. She already took Guillermo to the vet, so she's helping him on an errand run this time. At the moment, he is delivering Nandor and Lazlo's sperm to the witches, as is the deal they have made. As they arrive, the witches have just got back from seeing Wicked on Broadway for the umpteenth time. Nadja hasn't heard of it, so when they tell her, her inheritance of Lazlo's distaste for musicals and her own hatred of witches merge and she laughs at the idea of anyone enjoying singing sympathetic witches. The witches are offended and cast a spell on her and Guillermo, teleporting them to a demiplane where they can be taught a lesson. Since Guillermo was holding Lazlo and Nandor's sperm, they teleport alongside them. Colin Robinson also shows up, which confuses the others at first before he explains he was jealous of Lazlo and Nandor for being considered more vampire than him and the witches not wanting his sperm so he snuck some in when no one was looking, which wasn't difficult with how hot Lazlo and Nandor's are to look at (Lazlo concurs that "The old chap and I truly do have some magnificent spunk, wouldn't you say, my dahling?" Nadja agrees about Lazlo's but refuses to believe Nandor's could be all that great).

With that tangent over, the gang finds themselves in the dark behind a red curtain. Guillermo's been binging Twin Peaks recently, so he becomes afraid that the Black Lodge is real and they've been brought there. That's quickly disproven with no one talking backward, and their also confused why it’s even be called “the Black Lodge” if it’s red. The curtain rises and the gang learns that the witches will be magically forcing them to perform songs from various musicals to learn the True Meaning of Broadway. They hate it at first, but over time they come to like it. This is especially true of Colin, who at first thinks he can just use it to drain but then starts to recover his childhood enthusiasm for the art form.

Some musicals they could perform could include:

Phantom of the Opera (gothic romance for Lazlo/Nadja)

West Side Story (romance for Lazlo/Nadja)

Sweeney Todd (gothic romance for Lazlo/Nadja, see my in-depth post on this AU)

The King and I (Nandermo with emphasis on Nandor's old kingly role)

Oklahoma! (Cowboys for Jackie Daytona)

Guys and Dolls (idk too much about this one but it's a classic and there could be something with Dolly)

Cabaret (for the flamboyant queer sexy performance)

Hamilton (kinda obligatory at this point)

Fiddler on the Roof (this was brought in in the s4 finale, it should be expanded here)

Wicked (Nadja could finally come to appreciate witches and get her big Defying Gravity moment)

When everyone is having a great time and the moment has come for the grand finale, Lazlo leads the cast in a rousing rendition of a song "by none other than an old friend of mine, a true Chinese-American icon, who no doubt wrote this ballad about his treacherous journey from the Orient to these United States and this wonderous city of ours. Mr. Frank Sinatra!" It's New York, New York, and Lazlo mispronounces it in every incredible way possible, except for the final sweeping note.

#I'm gonna be making another post similar to this where I make wwdits AUs of various older sitcoms #If anyone has more ideas on this please let me know!#wwdits #what we do in the shadows #twin peaks #musicals #Phantom of the Opera #West Side Story #Sweeney Todd #The King and I #Oklahoma!#Guys and Dolls #Cabaret #Hamilton #Fiddler on the Roof #Wicked #frank sinatra #new york new york

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deadthingposting · 8 months

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God I have so many thoughts

SPOILERS

Really

SPOILERS

So that was a thing I guess look I will do bullet points

First, I was right about the guide, and I will take this small W

I wanted Guillermo, i thought Guillermo had earned the right to be a full vampire. I hated that he "can't be" a vampire it was anticlimactic

Yeah, hunting nandor did look very hot

Watching all the vampires ome to check on Guillermo was very sweet

I think the show used to be better with setups and payoffs like the guide revealing guillermo's secret was quite obvious after the roast

So the creatures were just there again. Yeah, they are cute in a weird way, but unnecessary, it's an unfunny joke

"Nandor being smart is ooc" fuck off he is smart for some things you moron, he was a war general for God's sake

I wish they kept blood lust Guillermo it would be so much hotter if rather than that anticlimactic "boo hoo I can't kill" We had the vampires being like "oh crap gizmo went berserk"

Bearded Guillermo was hot too

I don't know where the show can go from here

Last djinn appearance for no reason but still i like him so it was a win

So so Simon *frustrated noises *

After digesting it a little I liked the episodes in a weird way, it's not awful surely is not Freddie style awful but anticlimactic just wasted potential all over but enjoyable in some points will just keep my hopes down next season

#wwdits #guillermo de la cruz #nandor the relentless #what we do in the shadows #laszlo cravensworth #nadja of antipaxos #wwdits spoilers #wwdits season 5 spoilers #spoilers #FUCKING SPOILERS

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pleasecallmeeds · 8 months

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my top ten favorite television shows

did anyone ask? no! do i care? no!

(I actually found this post in my drafts a few days ago and decided to update it and actually finish it. Most times you can tell when 2021/2022 Madison is writing because it’s all in lowercase. I mainly just moved things around and then changed a few of the standings. I also included gifs for the ships that I love the most. I hope you enjoy!)

10. The Sandman

I wasn’t expecting to love The Sandman as much as I did, but I did. I’m also grateful that this is my first dive into Neil Gaiman’s writing, which led me to watching Good Omens, which I also enjoyed. I personally prefer The Sandman’s mythology and the strange way the season is formatted; it has a plotline running through but each episode feels like it’s in an anthology--almost like this was based on a comic series or something. Also, major props to The Sandman for being one of the gayest shows on television. I’ve never seen a show be comprised of probably 95% queer people. It was a marvel. Don’t love that Morpheus hasn’t had any queer relationships yet--doesn’t mean he’s not queer, but so far, hasn’t said anything regarding this. I’d like it if the main character was queer and not just all of the side characters, but I’ll take what I can get.

favorite quote: “What power would Hell have if those imprisoned here were not able to dream of Heaven?”

favorite character: the Corinthian is so fucking cool. Dream is hot too.

favorite episode: “Sleep of the Just,” “24/7,” & “The Sound of Her Wings.” I love them all.

favorite ship: dream/morpheus x hob

9. What We Do in the Shadows

On the topic of “the gayest shows in television,” this one is included. Literally all of these vampires are queer and fucking each other. It’s groundbreaking! It’s also one of the most hilarious things I’ve ever seen. I wish that I had stronger, more genuine bonds of friendship between this group, but they’re vampires that have lived for hundreds of years. Outwardly showing love toward your friends is overrated, I guess.

favorite quote: “Trust me. Gay is in. Gay is hot. I want some gay. Gay it’s gonna be.”

favorite character: laszlo cravensworth, my beloved

favorite episode: “The Wellness Center” (season 3, episode 8)

favorite ship: look, i’d love to ship Nandor and Guillermo but their dynamic is pretty toxic. besides, we all know that they’re all just living in a polycule.

8. That 70′s Show

That 70′s Show is nostalgic for me. My aunt is nine years older than me, so she was a teenager when I was in elementary school. She would watch this show on the television at my grandparents’ house and I’d watch the camera circle around a group of kids getting high in Eric Foreman’s basement and I was invested. I love the group dynamics, the sarcasm, the humor, and the rare emotional moments, too.

favorite quote: “Damn, Jackie, I can’t control the weather!”

favorite character(s): Kitty & Red Foreman (people who don’t like Kitty Foreman need to grow up fr)

favorite episode(s): “Eric’s Buddy” (Season 1, Episode 11), “Grandma’s Dead” (Season 1, Episode 23), and “Garage Sale” (Season 2, Episode 1)

favorite ship(s): hyde x jackie, eric x buddy

7. Stranger Things

If it weren’t for the last two seasons of Stranger Things, this could easily be at the top of the list. But my perception of Stranger Things has changed so much through these last couple of seasons. I still really enjoyed the fourth season, which is why it has remained in my top 10. There’s things to like about season 3 and 4, but they don’t compare to seasons 1 and 2. The mystery, the character development, and the strong relationships between characters made me fall in love with the show. Unfortunately, I feel like this has declined over time, but nonetheless it’s still a fun time, even if the actors will be grown adults playing children by the time season 5 comes out. Also, I’m just begging on my knees for queer characters and relationships in the forefront. Robin is the only openly gay one (so far, we know that Will is canonically gay) and her relationship isn’t a main focus and she isn’t actively in any relationships yet.

favorite quote: “Harrington’s got her, don’t ya, big boy?” & “Do you wanna be normal? Do you wanna be just like everyone else? Being a freak is the best. I'm a freak.”

favorite character(s): steve harrington. eddie munson. robin. my beloveds

favorite episode: “Chapter Four: The Body” (Season 1, episode 4) had me genuinely freaked the fuck out. that’s what got me hooked on this show.

favorite ship: steve x eddie, mike x will (but will deserves better)

6. Freaks and Geeks

It’s actually criminal that Freaks and Geeks was cancelled after one season. I think it is one of the most realistic depictions of high school I’ve ever seen. I felt seen in both Sam and Lindsay Weir. I related to Sam’s awkwardness and finding comfort in a few close friends, but I also related to Lindsay’s desire to fit in and try new things but not exactly finding the right friends. I loved the dynamic, the humor, the references, and the relationships. Overall, it is one of my favorite comfort shows.

favorite quote: “I’ve seen God...he plays drums in Led Zeppelin.”

favorite character: Bill Haverchuck, you comedy genius

favorite episode: “Chokin’ and Tokin’” (episode 13)

favorite ship: look, I would have loved if Lindsay actually liked Nick, because i thought they were really cute together. I don’t get why everyone’s obsessed with Daniel. James Franco is gross on so many levels.

5. Criminal Minds

When I went to college, all of my classmates were studying forensic science because of this show. They all told me to watch it, because literally my whole class was obsessed with it. So I did what they said, and it’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Wow, is this show fun. I haven’t even finished it because I don’t want it to end. This is one of the strongest casts of characters I’ve ever seen. I genuinely love and care about each character. If any of them died, I’d be heartbroken. The cases are compelling and thrilling to watch (well, not all of them, but most of them), and I love watching the BAU figure it out together and take care of each other.

favorite quote: ‘You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you’ve really stopped to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.”

favorite character: obviously the Dr. Spencer Reid. but Penelope Garcia is a VERY close second.

favorite episode: “Amplification” (season 4, episode 24)

favorite ship: reid x morgan (i present evidence A, your honor: “pretty boy”), morgan x garcia (i present evidence A, your honor: every episode of CM), garcia x every woman

4. The X-Files

I recently got into The X-Files because of my friend @midwestmothman and I will forever be in their debt. I haven’t even finished more than two seasons of this show and I’m in love with it. I don’t want to watch it too fast because then it’ll be over, and what do I do then? (I know they have this exact same dilemma.) Mulder and Scully are one of the foundations of so much of our current ship/fandom culture and it’s obvious why. I love the mystery & sci-fi of it all but we all know that it is the chemistry between the two leads that keep us invested even if the episodes aren’t as strong as usual. It’s one of those shows that I could turn on and watch all day.

favorite quote: “Mulder, sometimes I think the world is going to hell and we’re the only two people who can save it.”

favorite character: I can’t pick. They’re both iconic.

favorite episode: “Ice” (season 1, episode 8)

favorite ship: mulder x scully ofc

3. Seinfeld

ok, sorry (not sorry?) but Seinfeld is hilarious.

i absolutely love it. it is partly a nostaliga thing, but when i got old enough to actually give a damn about what i watch i decided i would watch it on my own instead of reruns on my grandfather’s television and i decided on my own that it is one of the most hilarious things i have ever seen.

i am a piece of each of these characters. they’re all complex characters with deep flaws but just as deep character and depth. they’re not meant to be praised; they know they are selfish people but the whole point of the show is that we can laugh at the terrible things that they say that we’re too afraid to joke about (as in like little rude things not hateful things).

this show is iconic. there are so many sayings, so many scenes, so many quotes that are iconic. Kramer--iconic. Seinfeld’s apartment--iconic. they’re all iconic.

obviously i do not care for the actual namesake of the show but every other character has an incredibly special place in my heart.

favorite quote: “You’re a nice guy, but I actually only have three friends. I can’t really handle any more.”

favorite character: the man, the myth, the legend Cosmo Kramer

favorite episode: “the red dot” (season 3, episode 12) & “the voice” (season 9, episode 2)

2. Fleabag

Fleabag has a special place in my heart. Phoebe Waller-Bridge is a genius and this show is a testament to that. I thought season one was a great examination of what it’s like to be a woman that feels like she’s being a woman wrong. That she wants to say things and feel things that she’s not supposed to. She also doesn’t know how to handle her grief or to handle love. Then season 2 is a full-blown love story (admitted by Fleabag herself) and I LOVE it. It is so tragic, it is so beautiful, it is so comforting. It is upsetting that Fleabag finally finds someone who gets her but they have a barrier that they can’t overcome. It is one of the most heartbreaking moments of TV for me recently. “I love you.” “It’ll pass.” ARE YOU JOKING.

favorite quote: “I want someone to tell me what to wear every morning. I want someone to tell me what to eat. What to like, what to hate, what to rage about, what to listen to, what band to like, what to buy tickets for, what to joke about, what not to joke about. I want someone to tell me what to believe in, who to vote for, and who to love, and how to tell them. I just think I want someone to tell me how to live my life, Father, because so far I think I’ve been getting it wrong.”

favorite character: fleabag, duh. but obviously the hot priest, too.

favorite episode: series 2, episode 1

favorite ship: fleabag x the hot priest, it truly breaks my heart

1. Succession

Succession is one of the best meshes of comedy and drama that I’ve ever seen. Endlessly quote-able, at times nauseating, at times hysterical, at times the most depressing thing I’ve ever seen. A story of cycles and power and prisons. A tragedy. Witnessing these ups and downs over the past few years have been one of my favorite television experiences. It was like a new Game of Thrones for me. In a similar vein I think both shows ended the way the story demands but weren’t very satisfying in nature. (Spoilers) No one will admit it but Tom being the successor is like Bran being the King at the end for me. I loved it, though. Every minute. (I was secretly rooting for Ken but we don’t need to talk about that.)

favorite quote: all of the best quotes are between Greg and Tom. Tom’s “Are we talking to each other on the deck of a majestic schooner? Is the salty brine stinging my weather-beaten face? No? Then why the fuck are you are wearing a pair of deck shoes man?" always gets a laugh and Greg’s “It’s not like they pre-poop them” response regarding the dog poop bags. Also of course “You can’t make a Tomlette without breaking some Gregs.”

favorite character: roman roy you weird fuck

favorite episode: “This Is Not For Tears” (season 2, episode 10) - probably my favorite episode of television ever

favorite ship: tom x greg, ken x nate somehow?? like can we go back to the line “Man, I forgot how eager you were to get laid at a party”??? also ken x stewy -- once again going back to the line “You like pancakes and waffles and you kiss guys on molly”??? kendall roy & his relationships with men will forever remain one of life’s greatest mysteries

HONORABLE MENTIONS

House

favorite quote: "It's one of the great tragedies of life — something always changes."

favorite character: Dr. James Wilson my BELOVED !!!!!!!!

favorite episode(s): tough because i love “three stories” (season 1, episode 21) but “wilson’s heart” (season 4, episode 16) absolutely destroyed me.

favorite ship: wilson x house ofc

The Great British Bake Off

favorite quote: James Acaster’s “Started making it, had a breakdown.”

favorite contestant: GBBO 2020′s winner PETER (noel’s not a contestant but he’s my favorite) are you kidding me he’s so cute

favorite season: 2020 season

Full House

look, it’s peak nostalgia. I’ve been getting back into it lately.

favorite quote: Stephanie’s “How rude!” and Michelle’s “You’ve got it, dude!”

favorite character: Uncle Jesse. He’s easy on the eyes.

favorite episode(s): “Secret Admirer,” (season 4, episode 5) & “Silence is Not Golden” (season 6, episode 17)

favorite ship: danny x joey x jesse. don’t act like you don’t see it, too!!

Game of Thrones

Game of Thrones used to be my favorite show of all time. It was one of the only shows that kept me in anticipation every week for the next episode. It takes a lot for a TV show to do that. And I loved every minute of this show, even the last season and its ridiculousness. I’ve always felt this, but I feel like that now that we’re a few years out from the finale I think maybe if some people looked back on the last season they wouldn’t think it’s so bad. I thought the ending made sense. It was disappointing, but it made sense. I’m more upset about the character arcs reverting, ending in disappointing ways, or progressing too fast (I’m looking at you, Daenerys.) However, even when it was bad, it was still good. Just not good enough to break my top 10. Close though! That’s why I’m giving it a little speech.

favorite quote: “Our fathers were evil men. All of us here. They left the world worse than they found it. We're not going to do that. We're going to leave the world better than we found it.” (Oh, Daenerys. You had such potential.)

favorite character: jon fucking snow

favorite episode: “The Winds of Winter” (Season 6, episode 10)

favorite ship: jaime x brienne (we almost had it all), jon x ygritte

Thanks for reading. What are your top ten favorite television shows?

#succession #fleabag #that 70s show #what we do in the shadows #seinfeld #stranger things #game of thrones #house md #freaks and geeks #criminal minds #x files #the x files #madison's random lists #favorite tv shows

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torturedpoetemotions · 3 months

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a nice night for a walk in the park

I was struck by the thought "imagine encountering Nandor and Guillermo while they were hunting together as vampires." And...this happened. I don't even know, okay? This is a "Nandor and Guillermo feed on an innocent civilian" situation so like. Proceed with that in mind.

Read on AO3

You're taking a shortcut through the park on your way home from work. Not something you'd do on a normal night, but this isn't a normal night. Your boss underscheduled your shift and you ended up having to work late on top of doing two people's jobs all afternoon and well into the evening. You're exhausted and frustrated, and in no mood to take the long way, no matter how sketchy the park can be once the sun goes down.

About halfway through the park, this guy ends up walking next to you. You're not exactly sure where he came from. One minute you're alone and then he's there, just strolling casually alongside you. Short, unassuming guy in a sweater and khakis. Nice hair. Round, friendly face. He doesn't look your way, but he's matching you step for step and you seem to be headed in the same direction. You can't stand awkward silences, so you force yourself to make small talk.

"Nice night for a walk in the park, huh?"

He shrugs and smiles briefly. His teeth seem odd somehow. But you're more distracted by his voice, which is soft and sweet when he asks your name. You tell him, disarmed by his nice smile and overall gentle demeanor. He asks what you're up to this evening and you tell him nothing much, just walking home from a late shift. He commiserates with a sympathetic smile.

"I used to work a job with terrible hours," he tells you. "It was the worst. Demanding boss, too. Totally unreasonable."

He says all this with the air of someone sharing a private joke, his tone half-smug and half-fond, his smile a little crooked. It makes you feel as though he's playing to some audience you're not aware of. But it's just the two of you here, walking through the misty park.

That is, until the mist darkens and solidifies in front of you, coalescing into a terrifying figure that blocks your path and blots out the sky. You freeze, taking in the black eyes and long fangs, suddenly remember every stupid story you've ever laughed off about vampires lurking in the park after sunset.

You turn to run, but your unassuming walking companion is there, also blocking your path. He doesn't look so sweet and gentle anymore when he smiles at you with sharp fangs on full display. His eyes are almost apologetic, but something about the way he holds himself screams predator. Before you can run, the monster at your back has your arms in a vice grip. The dark eyes of one in front of you drift over your shoulder, and his eyes go soft and fond for a moment. When he looks back at you, there's the smallest twinge of regret in his eyes. You already know it will not be enough to save you.

"Don't be afraid," he says, and just like that you aren't anymore, relaxing into the taller monster's arms. Your monster's attention goes back to his companion, eyes going soft again.

"You first, mi vida." He looks back at you as you feel cold lips brush against your neck. He's beautiful, your monster, you realize with a shock. Terribly, undeniably. The way a natural disaster is beautiful on the horizon, just before it hits.

"This won't hurt," he promises, voice so gentle, and it doesn't. Teeth sink into your flesh like ripe fruit, and it's sharp and hot but it doesn't hurt at all. You lean into the bite, floating somewhere outside yourself. You make a sound that might embarrass you under any other circumstances, but you can't rally your faculties to feel anything but that hazy sense of peace that came over you the moment he told you not to be afraid.

"This will all be over soon," that voice promises, and you make a noise of distress at the thought. You don't want it to be over soon! Everything feels so nice here, floating just outside yourself as these beautiful monsters latch onto you with their gleaming white teeth, drinking you down like sweet, red wine.

Another set of lips and teeth, on the other side of your neck, another bite to mirror the first. Everything is blurry and the sounds of the night are far away now, drowned out by the thudding of your own heartbeat in your ears. The only other sensations penetrating the haze are the cold hands holding you steady, the cold lips sipping away at what's left of your life.

Your last thought as you drift into the soft darkness is that it really was a nice night for a walk in the park.

#nandermo #wwdits #nandermo fic #wwdits fic #reader pov #open ending sort of

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sakebytheriver · 2 years

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I really didn't think I would write another chapter of this fic after how the last episode ended, but my brain wouldn't let me rest until I made this final installment, mainly for my own need for closure.

Anyways I hope I made you all care about a rarepair that was never going to happen as much as I did.

Find part one here

And part two here

~~~~

Okay.

Maybe he could work with this wish.

Nandor hadn't specified which Marwa he wanted transformed into Freddie. The djinn could use the semantics of the wording to create a clone of Marwa and transform that one into a Freddie clone while saving the original Marwa and reversing the wish put upon her by Nandor or something close to that, it didn't really matter, all that mattered was that the djinn was able to save Marwa and finally get her out of this hell of Nandor's creating.

Marwa woke up in the mancave coming to with a sharp gasp like the first breath taken after your head breaches the surface of the water right before your lungs began to burn. In an instant there was a flood of memories returned to her, the time she spent with the djinn, the time she was brainwashed to be Nandor's perfect wife, and somehow the inherent knowledge that the djinn's wishes were used to change her and the only reason she was safe right now was because a clone of her had been sent in her place to take a final Freddie sized bullet.

Her head felt like someone had stuck her brain in a blender and pushed the highest setting. She staggered around the mancave swallowing the bile crawling up her throat.

Before the world could right itself she was hit with an even bigger feeling of deja vu as the djinn appeared in front of her shoving the same wad of cash they'd hidden away together into her hands.

"Marwa, you need to run," the money in her hand a familiar weight from a better memory, a better time, a better version of the two of them. She looked up at the djinn with wide confused eyes still feeling a million miles away.

"I don't- I was just-" she stuttered.

"I know. Marwa, I'm so sorr-"

Her hand hit his face with a solid slap so violent that it echoed through the empty room cutting off his apology.

The djinn looked back up into her eyes, the confusion gone, now replaced with a swirl of rage and pain and betrayal twisting in her iris. Marwa held firm for only a moment before hot tears burned their way out of her defenses spilling down her face. An ugly sob wretched its way from her lips as she grabbed the collar of his jacket tight in her hands clenching her fingers and her face so tight it hurt more than the pain in her head. But just as the djinn's arms came up to wrap around her she pushed him off her so violently he had to catch himself from falling.

Marwa wiped at her face roughly leaving behind red patches as she desparately tried to clear any sign of her tears from her face. All the while the stack of money remained clenched in her hand.

"I'm going to take this money and I'm going to get out of here," Marwa spoke without looking at the djinn keeping her voice level and emotionless. She took the djinn's lamp and cradled it close to her chest along with the money still refusing to look him in the eye. "And as soon as Nandor's final wish is granted, come find me. You and I have promises to keep."

"Y-you and I- promises?" The djinn stuttered, she couldn't possibly be talking about their plan from before this all happened, she couldn't still want to free him after this.

"I'm going to free you," she did, this woman couldn't be real. "And I will ask you for immortality and then you will walk away from me," she finally looked up to meet his eyes. "But in a hundred years, come find me again," the djinn couldn't hold back the twitch at the corner of his mouth. "If you still want to that is."

Marwa held the djinn's eye contact as long as she could before she felt the tears collecting in her eyes threaten to fall. Looking at him in this room she built with her bare hands, a room she only wanted because it was what Nandor wanted, and she only wanted what Nandor wanted because of the djinn's magic. He'd taken everything from her in a click of his pen and he could have left her to become a completely different person, in fact he had left her clone to become one. There were too many painful memories attached to him, looking at him now just broke her heart.

She turned away from him letting the tears slip silently down her cheeks the second he couldn't see her, walking silently to the door of the mancave. As she reached the door her hand already outstretched she couldn't make herself open it.

Marwa looked back over her shoulder at the djinn, his eyes had never left her.

"I don't want to say goodbye to you, because I'm mad at you. But I want to say goodbye to you, because I still love you." As the words left her mouth tears left her eyes.

The djinn's breath caught in his throat, "Marwa, I'm so sorry," he felt his own eyes grow watery. "I love you too."

Marwa took a shaky breath in before turning back to the door finally slipping out leaving the djinn to feel the most alone he had ever felt in his thousands of years of life.

________________________

It was exactly ten months, twenty three days, four hours, ten minutes, and fifty seven seconds since he had said goodbye to Marwa that Nandor made his final wish and the djinn let his lamp call him away in a puff of smoke. For the first time in months when he opened his eyes he was greeted by the familiar cheesy "I Dream of Genie" decor he had gotten used to over the years, he'd almost missed it.

The djinn let himself flow out of the lamp to find himself in a tiny cabin on an arctic research vessel in the middle of the ocean. Strewn about every flat surface were notebooks and papers of research and observations about the aurora borealis in the area, but what really caught his eye was a single worn picture hung on the wall with a little peice of tape of the research team all dressed in big puffy winter coats and beanies and there standing in the middle of the group was Marwa with the biggest grin he had ever seen on her face.

The djinn was filled with an intense burst of warmth filling his chest at the sight of her smile even just in picture form it was blinding. He had the sense that this was the kind of life she was always meant for.

The cabin door opened with a loud metalic creaking that felt like a church mouse compared to the sharp gasp Marwa let out at the sight of him.

"You're here," the door closed behind her with a solid thunk.

"I am." He gestured around the room, "And so are you, how did you?"

Marwa laughed, "You'd be surprised what you can do with a big wad of cash and some forged documents from the girl with the multicolored hair working at the genius bar."

"Of course," the djinn grinned letting himself get lost in her eyes. He'd missed her.

They stood like that for God knows how long just taking each other in before Marwa broke the trance holding out her hand.

"I believe you have something for me," the djinn looked at her with confusion and she smiled, "In your front pocket."

Realization hit as the djinn remembered the wish she had written down for him so many months ago. He slipped the folded paper into her hand as easily as breathing and as she unfolded it to read the wish aloud his heart threatened to burst from his chest.

"I wish for the djinn to be free of his lamp keeping his powers to grant wishes and any other abilities he has only now he gets to choose what wishes will be granted." She read the words as if they weren't everything he had ever dreamed would be spoken to him and with one click of his pen the wish had been granted.

"It is done," before their very eyes the djinn lamp began to rust and warp aging thousands of years in a mere second before it disintegrated into ashes.

The djinn's wide grin at the sight was completely involuntary, but the glee he felt definitely wasn't.

Marwa discarded the wish paper on her desk absentmindedly, the djinn swept it up before it even stopped moving folding it back up and slipping it back in his pocket.

"Now, wasn't there something else you wanted to ask me?" The djinn fixed his glasses and clasped his hands behind his back.

Marwa shook her head, "I promised that your first free wish would be your own, I won't take that from you."

Of course she would say that, she was Marwa, the first and only person he had ever fallen in love with and she had proved yet again there was a damn good reason for that.

"Then for my first free wish, I give you the gift of immortal life."

"Djinn."

"Marwa," he stopped her by gently placing his hands on her cheeks, Marwa's came up to hold his against her reflexively, "All I want is for you to have anything and everything you have ever wanted to live the life you deserve. If immortality will give that to you then I'm more than happy to give my first free wish to you."

Marwa studied his face as he spoke and before she knew she was doing it she'd pulled him in connecting their lips violently their teeth clacking. Her hand tangled in his hair as his arms slipped down to wrap around her waist the kiss deepening as they pulled each other as close together as they could.

Just as quickly as she had pulled him in Marwa pulled away from the kiss catching her breath as the two laughed softly at their antics.

"I'm still mad at you, but I think I forgive you," Marwa's lips brushed against the djinn's as she spoke.

"Well, I guess I'll see you in a hundred years," the djinn whispered almost hoping if he said it outloud she would take it back.

Marwa smiled, "Make it fifty, we'll get coffee."

She let herself slip out of his embrace turning to open her cabin door.

"The Louvre," the djinn stopped her. She turned back to him confused. "I'm going to take you to the Louvre then we'll get coffee."

Marwa grinned at him before she disappeared out the cabin door.

The djinn smiled at the door, he let himself take in the room around him one more time looking at all of her notes and papers thrown haphazardly over every surface. An idea popped into his head and suddenly he was writing a note on a blank sheet.

For you, it'll never run out of ink.

He placed his magic pen down on the paper next to the note.

The djinn straightened up with a smile, fifty years would pass like the blink of an eye for him and in the meantime he was free for the first time in his life and he knew exactly where he would go. In a puff of smoke he disappeared from the boat and reappeared at his destination.

"Hello, I'd like one ticket for the next tour, please," he smiled at the attendent behind the counter as they prepared his ticket.

The djinn looked up at the Colosseum and for the first time in his thousands of years of life he was seeing it in person.

There were definitely a lot of tours he would be crossing off his list in those fifty years.

________________________

It appeared a month before the fifty year mark was about to be hit. Marwa was in Istanbul at the Ataturk Library with a pile of books surrounding her, half she read and even more she was planning to read. And just as she turned the page a plane ticket popped into existence tucked into the pages like a bookmark.

Marwa looked around to see if anyone was watching her before she took the ticket in hand reading the note left scrawled in the djinn's handwriting.

To be used exactly a month from now, I will be waiting at the front of the Louvre at 6, I hope to see you there but understand if I don't

Marwa smiled, the ticket had to be magic because all it said was "Wherever Marwa is to Paris". She thought about the last fifty years, how each day flew by, but still she learned so much in every one of them taking every new opportunity that came her way, spending several of her years attending different colleges, taking each research trip offered to her and taking every chance she could to see every corner of the world she could reach.

Yet as she absentmindedly started to chew on the end of the magic pen left to her by the djinn she found that a part of her really would have liked doing all of that with the djinn by her side.

And in a months time she had used that plane ticket to take her to Paris and hours before 6 she was seated at a cafe across the street from the Louvre watching the djinn already sitting out front reading a newspaper. She sat there watching him read for hours just waiting for her to walk up and say something to him or for her to never show, there was no telling how long he'd been there before her, but Marwa enjoyed just watching him thinking about how much time he had spent with his thoughts only on waiting for her.

Marwa had to admit, she'd missed him and she liked the idea that he'd missed her too.

Just as her watch hit 6, Marwa walked out of the cafe making her way to stand directly in front of the djinn where he sat. She gently pushed the paper down to look him in the eye.

The djinn smiled, "You came."

"I did," she smiled. "I've been watching you for hours actually."

"Really?"

"You didn't know?"

"I turned off my instant knowledge of you a long time ago. I want you to always surprise me."

Marwa smiled leaning down to plant a soft kiss on the djinn's lips.

"How long have you been sitting out here?"

"Since last night."

Marwa laughed at his response, "Well come on, get up. I want you tell me everything you know about every work of art inside that building."

Tha djinn stood folding his paper up, leaving it behind on the ground.

"Everything? About all of them? That could take till tomorrow."

Marwa shrugged, "And the next day."

"And the next," the djinn smiled.

"And the next after that," Marwa slipped her arm into the djinn's leading him towards the Louvre.

"And maybe even the next after that one," he placed his hand over hers.

"Well, then how lucky for us that we have an infinite amount of days to get it done."

Marwa grinned looking up into the djinn's eyes, the two of them feeling ready for the eternity of freedom ahead of them.

The freedom they now had together.

#ignore me #fic #mardjinn #marwa what we do in the shadows #what we do in the shadows #marwa x djinn #fanfiction #wwdits

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blueseer · 1 year

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Best of 2022-Best Hot Mess

Laszlo Cravensworth-What we do in the shadows

My winner for best hot mess goes to the best vampire, Laszlo from WWDITS. This guy. This guy right here is one I would have never imagined growing so fond of. If Nandor doesn’t deserve to win any of the awards then Laszlo deserves to win them all. Is his a dumbass? Yes. Does he know nothing about child rearing? Yes. Does he make questionable decisions regarding everything? Yes. But, that doesn’t stop him from trying his best. He’s a mess, yes, in everything but man, does he have heart and that’s considering that the vampires are usually cold hearted—since they’re dead. Really though, this weird mess of a vampire just tries so hard. He was basically left alone for a whole year and with the house ended up in shambles. He doesn’t quite know how to take care of the home seeing has his approach is hammer. However, this did lead to their house being on a home makeover show but that did only to turn into a scam over Laszlo damn possessed hat.

You could give him some benefit of the doubt for destroying the house since he was being such a great friend. He was just putting his all into raising baby Colin Robinson. Sure, he kind of treated him like a dog a first, feeding him Count Chocula from a dog bowl but that’s because it was the only way he knew how. But, he cared about baby Colin Robinson making sure to look after him and stopping the cycle of boringness by raising him to be the most interesting man who ever lived. He tried to do what was the best for him like trying to enroll him into a private school where he brain scrambled the headmaster during their failed interview. He even eventually supported Kid Colin Robinson when he decided he wanted to go into musical theatre and quickly went into acting like his manager as well. The sad part is after everything the house is still a mess, his hat was stolen, and he lost his Boy when Colin Robinson finally reached adulthood. It was a sad season ending for our favorite hot mess of a vampire so he deserves all the wins.

#what we do in the shadows #wwdtis #laszlo #laszlo cravensworth #laszlo what we do in the shadows #colin robinson #baby colin robinson

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megaawkwardhuman · 10 months

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hello hi hey I'm icarus (but I'm also fine with virgo) and welcome to my blog!

idkf how you got here but uhhh congrats?

also sorry if parts of the gif look weird idfk how to fix it

I'm a neurodivergent artist who talks about gay vampires (wwdits) a lot!

I do have other interests tho like ofmd, good omens, hannibal, re-animator, interview with the vampire, watcher, the band ghost, the world of mr plant, and south park (it's just that wwdits is just what I think about the most)

things I've made:

I've written a few fic before and one can be found on my blog! it's a post season 4 nandermo fic and here's a link if you wanna check it out :)

as for the rest can be found on my ao3 here! (I'm not going to move the post season 4 fic there mainly cause idk if I really wanna)

I made a uquiz a few months ago that basically tells you what you would be if you where in the wwdits universe (a vampire, a familiar. an energy vampire etc)

I have an instagram that I just post my art to and that's really it

things I like to make:

as you can probably gather by now I primarily do pixel art but I also like to doodle/sketch with good old pencil and paper

I make a LOT of kandi (primarily singles) buuut I don't really post it on here (I mean unless someone asks me to I'm more than willing to share)

I kinda write? like I've written fics before and I DO have a bunch of wips but it's kinda hard for me to finish a fic due to the fact that I get distracted easily and the fact that I'm really dyslexic (you have no idea how badly I wanna fist fight the english language in a denny's parking lot at 3am)

oh while it's not a medium or anything but I'd like to mention I LOVE to draw characters from the media I like as pastel bunnies! (tho at this current moment it's primarily wwdits characters I draw) is it weird? yeah but I like to so I'm not stopping anytime soon if you want a rough explanation as to why I made a long post about it

fav characters:

guillermo de la cruz from wwdits (seriously I'm fucking feral for this man he's my top blorbo atm! he has my gender in a chokehold and I relate to him A LOT also harvey guillen is just really fucking hot-)

nandor the relentless also from wwdits (not as crazy about him but like he fascinates me and I love his goofy cringefail vibes... HE'S ALSO REALLY HOT-)

dib from invader zim (while I haven't watched invader zim in a while I still consider dib to be a fav! hell he's my fucking profile pic. he's one of the first ever characters in something I've seen that I've related to)

stede from ofmd (he's a huge fucking mood and I too jump into things head first without any plans whatsoever)

argos from twomp (a new addition to my fav character list since I stumbled upon twomp more recently. idk I just like him like go googly eye man date that murderous plant dude! wow that must sound weird to those who don't know what the world of mr plant is XD. it also might have to do with the fact that he's kinda socially awkward)

mr plant from twomp (another new addition. idfk something about that murderous plant I find oddly relatable? I think it's the fact that he's also socially awkward. arguably more than argos)

herbert west from re-animator (idk I think this autistic man with no care for ethics is neat)

I have more but for now those are the ones I'm gonna list :)

other shit:

as I've already said I have dyslexia, I possibly have ADHD (never officially diagnosed buuuuut really fucking confident I do and a past therapist said I most likely do), I keep running into situations where I question if I have autism or not so take that as you will, and despite what it may seem I have really REALLY bad social anxiety (well I have overall anxiety too but let's just say there's a reason I spend a lot of time online and not out and about)

asks as you can already tell are open

DMs are also open (tho I will say it's mainly to mutuals)

WARNING I KEYBOARD SMASH A LOT!

nandermo shipper but I'm fine with other ships involving the two :)

overall I try to be nice on here cuz there's enough negativity out there why add to it? tho key word here is try (I've gone on small rants here before and there's the possibility I will again)

I really REALLY fucking love bats and frogs THEY'RE JUST LITTLE GUYS HOW CAN I NOT?

there will be moments where for one reason or another (sleep deprived, sad, bored, it's a tueday, etc etc) I'll be reminded that oh yeah I fucking love frogs and will just start spam reblogging frog posts so be warned if you see me reblog a frog photo and read the words frog blogging or frog posting in the tags run while you still can (or don't cuz frogs are the best and need to be loved and cherished)

tag stuff:

misc thoughts/ideas/this tag is mainly random shit: throwing up my thoughts onto tumblr again

theories/meta/looking too much into small stuff: word garbage™

answering asks: answering stuff

my art: *funny tag for my art*

bunny art related posts: bun stuff

mothman memo related posts: mothman memo stuff

fanfics I've written: gather around and lend me your time

edits I've made: edit shmedit

memes I've made: brought to you by ms paint

show + tags thing: + tags

all the weekly wwdits sparkle on images: sparkle on it's gay vamp day!!!