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#narcissistic personality
serialunaliver · 2 months
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one of the best ways i've improved myself overall is recognizing when i'm hypocritical. it's made me a lot less resentful and a lot more understanding because I recognize that it makes no sense for me to be an exception for bad behavior. for a long time I saw traits in others that exist in me and felt disgusted, but not at myself. my brain protected me from self-hatred and insecurity by positioning my behavior as somehow justified. then years later, i'm thinking about everything i've done and break down in tears (which to my therapist was awesome because she thought it shows I can learn empathy). now i'm always reminding myself before I hate another person: have I acted that way, and if I did, would I try to excuse myself?
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mischiefmanifold · 2 years
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An Explanation of the Diagnostic Criteria of Narcissism (Narcissistic Personality Disorder / NPD)
In order to be considered a narcissist, someone has to meet five or more of the nine criteria listed in the DSM-V. The symptoms have to be pervasive (present in a wide variety of contexts) and clinically distressing.
1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g. exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements).
Exaggerating your own achievements
Criticizing and dismissing others’ achievements or talents
Constantly boasting or talking about yourself
Believing yourself to be infallible or invulnerable
Believing that you are more intelligent than others
Thinking that common rules don’t apply to you
Acting selfishly
Treating others with disdain or contempt
Not caring if you hurt someone with your actions
Being quick to anger if you’re challenged
Being unable to see how your behavior affects others
Being unable to see how unrealistic your beliefs and actions are
2. Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
Often make up stories where you are the main character or are better than everyone else
Often imagine yourself in positions of power
May often imagine yourself in ways that distract from emptiness and unstable emotions (such as powerful, in control, beautiful, knowledgeable)
Fantasies of winning awards
Fantasies of being praised for your perfect work
Fantasies of getting the ideal partner and having a perfect relationship
3. Believes that they are “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions).
Only choosing services you consider “the best” (e.g. fly first class, stay in five-star hotels, and eat at top restaurants)
Purchasing only name brand items or items that you deem are “the best”
Insisting on seeing prestigious specialists, even for minor health concerns
Seeking out friendships with people you deem worthy and ignoring anyone else (potentially also believing that the person you’re friends with should be grateful that they were chosen)
Dating only people they deem “the best”
4. Requires excessive admiration.
Expect others to admire your style, looks, or abilities
Feeling enraged when you don’t receive praise for accomplishments
Hint to others for compliments if they aren’t offered automatically
Spending a lot of time wondering how others perceive you
Do things specifically to earn praise
5. Has a sense of entitlement (i.e. unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with their expectations).
Expecting to get certain things just because you exist or with no specific justification (such as special access to certain areas or items of clothing)
Believes that you and your needs come before everyone else’s
Believing that since you work harder and do a better job than everyone else, you should get to set your own schedule
Believing that everyone should cater to you
6. Interpersonally exploitative (i.e. takes advantage of others to achieve their own ends).
Putting yourself down so others recognize your abilities or talents
Insisting that others help and support you before taking care of themselves
Complimenting someone just to receive praise back
Failing to realize when you’ve made unrealistic demands of others
Treating people unkindly when they’re unwilling to do things for you
Lying or deceiving others to get your needs met
7. Lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others.
Focusing on your own problems and feelings without realizing that others have important needs, too
Expect others to put you first
Have trouble understanding other people’s feelings and experiences
Have little interest in other people’s difficulties
Consider expressing feelings a sign of weakness
Avoid doing things for others unless it benefits you
8. Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of them.
You may envy people who are getting praise and attention for their achievements and talents
You may believe that others envy you and your abilities
You may assume that others are working behind your back to steal the opportunities you deserve
You may feel uneasy or upset if someone you are close to is given attention by someone else
9. Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes.
A “high and mighty” attitude or snobbishness
Contempt for people who make mistakes
Scorn for those who don’t recognize your superiority
A tendency to patronize “ordinary” people
Aggressive or sharp responses to perceived criticism
Sources:
Grandiosity: (Source 1) (Source 2)
Other Symptoms: (Source)
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endonp-no-d · 2 years
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the demedicalization of disorders is going to kill people.
Anon, tell me, what made you jump to such an extreme conclusion and feel the need to drop the unlikely into the inbox of a person just trying to exist peacefully in their own space?
What is making you act out in these ways, to someone who has explained their points and beliefs already?
The de-medicalization of things such as personality based and system based disorders won't kill people. Same with autism or adhd.
Yes, there are limits to what can and cannot be de-medicalized, that might have severe problems if it was tried. Yeah, duh. But how about you go back and re-read our posts about us and how we live life.
Also, it's clear you ran out of argument points because you resorted to a very extreme situation to try and win the battle you're losing.
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geezerwench · 1 year
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I joined Twitter in 2016 at the urging of a friend. The election was only a few weeks away. Twitter was overrun with artificial support for Donald Trump and all things MAGA. My friend thought we people of good conscience needed to do something about that. So, I, and others signed up and started tweeting.
Being entirely honest, I had no interest whatsoever in being on Twitter but it seemed like a civic responsibility to fight back against Trump and Trumpism. For the first eight or nine months, I posted content not all that different than what I post now… and my account slowly grew to about 1,000 followers.
Then, I wrote a thread about Trump and narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). Narcissists are nothing if not predictable and I had seen this movie before, so I wrote about what made Trump tick and what we could expect from him.
I honestly didn’t think much of it. It was just another post, another thread.
Then it took on a life of its own and my followers went from 1,000 to 8,000 in an afternoon.
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solitaryschizoid · 2 months
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neurotypicals will be like "you can't self diagnose" and then diagnose everyone they dislike as a narcissist
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veryfireenemy · 4 months
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सज़दा
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narctoxic · 5 months
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Új kezdet: Nárctoxic emberek
Új oldal
Fő témája a nárcisztikus személyiségzavar és sok más történet, ami hozzá kapcsolódik. Saját tapasztalatokról is írok.
Célom, hogy mások észrevegyék időbe az ilyen embereket.
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artisticdivasworld · 9 months
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Narcissistic Personalities in Relationships
Navigating the Maze: Understanding and Dealing with Narcissistic Personalities in Relationships Today we are looking at a topic that impacts many of us in our relationships – Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Have you ever encountered someone who seemed charming initially but later displayed manipulative and self-centered behavior? Well, chances are, you might have come across a person…
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kitten-forward · 6 months
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doomsdayradio · 1 year
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HELP THE TIKTOK ABLEISTS ARE SAYING NARCS EYES CAN STRAIGHT UP GO BLACK⁉️⁉️⁉️
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bro they think we're mythical fucking demons im done😭😭😭
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Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.
NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.
I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.
The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.
Because it's so hard to exist in this world.
My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:
Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)
Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.
Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.
Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.
Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.
Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s
I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.
So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".
Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)
Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.
If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.
NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD
Stigma in the DSM
Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)
"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."
(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)
#actuallynpd#signal boost#actuallyautistic#mental health awareness#narcissistic personality disorder#people also need to realize that mental health professionals aren't immune from bias#(it really shouldn't come as a shock that the mental health field has a longstanding pattern of misunderstanding and mistreating ppl who ar#mentally ill or otherwise ND)#the first therapist i brought up NPD to like. literally pulled out the DSM bc she could barely remember the criteria. then said that there'#no way I have it because I have low self-esteem lmaoooooo#anyway throwback to being at work and chatting with a co-worker. and the conversation turning to mental health. and him saying that#he tries to stay informed and be aware and supportive of mental health conditions & that he doesn't want to be ignorant or spread harmful#misinformation. and then i mentioned that i do a lot of research into mental health stuff and i listed a bunch of things. which included#several personality disorders. one of which was NPD.#and after listening to my whole ass list he zeroed in on the NPD and immediately started talking about how narcissists are abusive and#he knew someone who had NPD and how the person who had it had an addiction and died from the addiction in a horrible way and he#was glad he did#fun times#or when i decided to be vulnerable and talk abt my self-criticism/self-hatred bc i knew my friends also struggled w that and i wanted to#support them by sharing my own coping methods. and they both(separately!) started picking and prodding at my npd through the lens of stigma#bc i'd recently opened up to them abt having it. they recognized self-hatred as a symptom and still jumped on me for it. despite me#trying to share hurt vulnerable parts of myself to help them and connect with them.#again..... fun times
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thecatspasta · 1 month
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Inspired by @arrgh-whatever's post on helping ppl with BPD
Edit bc I forgot to add this: Being vulnerable means smth different for different ppl, something that could read as being vulnerable to you can read as just another Tuesday for someone else
ID under the cut
[ID: a simply-drawn comic, narrated by a person coloured-in in pink.
Panel 1: The pink person narrates: "So there's a lot of "signs your ex is a narcissist and how to deal with them" and it's not very accurate. So here's how to actually "deal" with a narcissist from someone with narcissistic personality disorder."
Panel 2: This panel has the heading: "1. Supply." The pink person narrates: "People with NPD have very fragile self-esteem, and supply is what keeps us from having a mental breakdown. Supply can be many things, but often attention and praise are effective. Stuff like "Wow! That's super cool!!" can go a long way." A person is shown saying this to another person, who smiles.
Panel 3: This panel has the heading: "2. Criticism." The pink person narrates: "Oh boy. So narcissists take things as personal very easily. It's because if anyone contradicts our delusions that we have built our entire self-image on, it feels like you are attacking us as a person." There is an example shown, where one person says "hey, you were a bit too rude back there," but the other person hears "You're an awful dick no-one likes." The alternative manner of phrasing is suggested as "Hey, you were a bit too rude. You're cool, but some people took it poorly." The second person in this example thinks "I'm still a cool person. It's not my fault, but I can do things to be better." The narrator continues, "We don't really understand the concept of a harmless mistake."
Panel 4: This panel has the heading: "3. Boundaries." The pink person narrates: "With narcissists, setting down strict boundaries is very important. 1. Knowing we have hurt you because you didn't set down boundaries can really upset and annoy us because the delusions that we can do no wrong and know you best get broken. 2. If you let us break boundaries, it can lead us to see you as "weak" and devalue you. Communication is key."
Panel 5: This panel has the heading: "4. Anger." The pink person narrates: "So people with NPD tend to be prone to anger. This is a defense mechanism, because to us, it's either facing the inaccuracies of our delusions and having a mental breakdown, or blaming something else. We do not mean to lash out; we just don't have the skills to cope properly. You can help by: 1. Letting us express out emotions without judgement; 2. giving us praise or attention; and 3. Distracting us from what angered us." Each example of how to help is accompanied by a small cartoon.
Panel 6: This panel has the heading: "5. Other NPD things!" The pink person narrates: "'Love bomb, devalue, discard' is actually: we are genuinely obsessed with you and want you to recognize us as cool, we lose that obsession and move on, we feel threatened in some way and lash out. We can't really handle being seen as vulnerable. We take sympathy and empathy as pity and pity as you telling us we're weak. Not acknowledging we're being vulnerable and acting as if nothing is wrong can be helpful in these situations. People with NPD have a very warped view of reality. We do not mean to hurt you and often do not realise we have. Remember, this won't work for everyone, and talking is very important."
/end ID]
Ty to @aromanticsky for the id
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mischiefmanifold · 2 years
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what people think NPD is: evil evil abuser disorder, everyone with it is demonic and abusive
what NPD actually is: a very subjective and diverse disorder with many different expressions of symptoms, not inherently abusive or evil
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endonp-no-d · 2 years
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Genuinely confused. It seems obvious to me that narcissism can have causes other than trauma. I'd still consider it a disorder tho if it impairs living one's life, which narcissism often does by ruining interpersonal relationships or at least making them harding than for non-narcissists. And I think being an endo system means that the system's non-traumagenic AND not disordered
I don't consider myself disabled apart from my autism.
I experience my narcissism different than those who stemmed from trauma and labeled myself over how I deal with myself and my life.
I don't struggle as much as others, and it hasn't ruined things in my life like you said, I'm actually engaged.
I am diagnosed as a disordered narc, but it doesn't fit because of how I experience my life. So I made a term that fits right.
I don't experience crashes, and if I do get to that point it's not long. Basically my post explaining it was to show myself and others like me a new term for comfortability and expression.
It didn't stem from trauma, and it's considered non disordered. So, endo.
Same with the OSDD1B, which also diagnosed with. My system feels like we didn't come from trauma, but we came from hyperfixations and our special interests, or our other life experiences. Not trauma, and it doesn't impact my life negatively, we are a team and work as such! So we don't say disordered or trauma system. None of that fits.
So I made myself comfortable.
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Am I in a Relationship with a Narcissist?
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Selfies galore and seeking affirmation via social media, it seems the whole world is suffering from narcissistic behavior. However, being self-motivated, self-focused or even putting yourself first doesn’t make you a narcissist.
Narcissism is a very particular set of traits that create the definable personality disorder. For people who are in relationships with a narcissist (be it a spouse, parent or even child) life can be incredibly confusing.
The narcissistic personality seeks out a particular type of partner (or victim we could say in some cases) with or without cognitive awareness. They are looking for an empathetic personality who they can manipulate via their bleeding heart-save-the-world style of tackling problems. Co-dependents and Borderline personalities make great targets for the narcissist who needs constant affirmation.
For those in a relationship with a narcissist they will experience things such as gaslighting (minimizing of personal experience or perception of events), a sense of lack of trust (or being misled), walking on eggshells (or a fear of speaking their truth). These along with other psychological types of abuse can lead to a sense of depression, confusion, anxiety and hopelessness.
Dr. Ramani Durvasula is a clinical psychologist who specializes in narcissism, and her work and research have been widely published. In her latest book Should I Stay or Should I Go, she explains that the personality of the narcissist will not change. While there is limited long term research on the disorder, there is enough research to show that these habits are hard to break. In spite of this, many people will stay in these types of relationships (children, finances, etc.) and hold hope that they will be able to behave in such a way that their partner will change. The receiver in these types of relationships often believes they can fix the person they are with, or fears if they leave the relationship the person will suddenly improve and be accountable, trustworthy and loving with their next partner.
Not all narcissists are obvious, as some operate covertly. This can be especially difficult for those in a toxic relationship because it often appears to family and friends that the narcissist is loving, kind partner. Narcissists are good at showing the world how great they are (or treat their partner) which is simply not the case behind closed doors. These sorts of showy things, like gifts and surprise birthday parties can give the spouse a sense that they are loved and create more confusion as to why they feel so awful in the relationship the rest of the time. Narcissists are also excellent at removing their victim from other relationships so that they have limited support outside of the relationship.
A very particular pattern of behavior ensues in these relationships, love-bombing (showering with affection and often over the top I love you’s and I need you’s), devaluing (without me you would have nothing) and discarding (disappearing on a guy’s trip, outright ignoring, silent treatment). The cycle continues again and again, during love-bombing phase clients will often think, we’re good right now, we don’t need therapy… until the victim is “back on the shelf” and then the negative part of the cycle begins.
Despite how they come across, narcissists are actually very insecure, and need constant reinforcement from their partner, which can be exhausting.
If you realize you or your partner may struggle with some of these traits or behaviors, reach out to us we can help.
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dollotron · 7 months
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the overuse of narcissist, psychopath/sociopath being used as an insult in media makes watching basically anything completely unenjoyable. At first it just made me roll my eyes because it negatively effects me, but now i just look at it as lazy and bad writing. Someone in that show is selfish? They're a narcissist. Someone acted aggressively or violently ? They're obviously a psychopath. It's getting really fucking old and boring
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