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#natasha romanoff incorrect quotes
frenchrebelfries · 2 days ago
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Natasha: *talking to the door*
*Tony casually drinking his coffee*
Steve: why is Romanoff talking to the door?
Clint: Nat left her keys inside
Steve: but Y/N's inside...
*Sam and Clint giving him the look*
Steve: they fought didnt they...
Y/N: *shouts from the room* communication is the KEY
Natasha: *groans* babe just open the door already
Y/N: you need to try harder than that!
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loqov · a month ago
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*Natasha and Y/n babysitting Morgan*
Y/n sitting on the ground, playing with the girl: Good job, M.
Y/n: Which piece now?
*Morgan excitedly pointing at the thing before taking it and putting it in the right place*
Y/n watching with amazement and adoration: I’m so proud *wipes away a tear*
Natasha looks over her shoulder at the two with a smile: Aaw, you teach her how to do a puzzle?
Y/n not taking their eyes of the 5-year-old while Natasha turns back around: Nope, how to put a glock together
Natasha:....
Natasha: You WHAT?!
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nat-maximoff · 4 months ago
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Natasha: I think you have PTSD
Y/N: Yeah I have PTSD. Proficient Talent for Sucking Dick
Wanda: I think we also need to talk about you're use of humor as a coping mechanism
Y/N: Guys, I don't think you understand how clever what I just said was
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stuckywthemarauders · 9 months ago
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Natasha: so what do you think?
Bucky: sorry I wasn’t listening but I strongly disagree with Sam
Steve:
Steve: he’s not even here
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clueless-sapphic · 9 days ago
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Y/n: I’m so tired I haven’t slept since-
Y/n: *suddenly stops after seeing Natasha’s menacing stare*
Natasha: Go on
Y/n: …No i sense i’ve made a mistake of some kind
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gaysuperheroes · 7 days ago
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[Yelena and Kate]
Kate: FOR GOD SAKE YELENA IT'S NOT HARRY POTTER
Yelena: THEN WHY ARE YOU RIDING A BROOM
Kate: IT'S FOR VISUAL SUPPORT THIS IS MY HORSE
[Wandanat]
Wanda: *moves arms slightly to the right*
Natasha: the great Gatsby
Yelena: HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE
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monlieudevie · 9 months ago
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*Sam entering the living room*
Sam: Where is Y/N?
Bucky: *eating chips while watching TV* Arguing with Tony.
Sam: Oh, and where's Steve?
Bucky: Trying to stop Tony and Y/N from arguing.
Sam: Okay. And Natasha?
Bucky: Stopping Steve from stopping Tony and Y/N from arguing.
Sam: How do you know that?
Bucky: *shushing him and pointing at the TV* Now comes the best part, Banner joins the argument.
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checkingoutforheroes · 4 months ago
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SALT.
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Pairing: gf!Natasha x fem!reader + (Yelena, Alexi, Melina)
Warning: None.
Genre: Just fluffffffff
Synopsis: Natasha take you to meet her family and you didn’t see that coming.  
It's been a couple of years since Natasha and I be in a serious relationship. After St. Petersburg incident, she told me the truth about her family. Well, not biological but they are the closest people for her to call a family. She told that they are annoying and pain in her ass but I find its cute.
She had arranged a dinner at her family house to introduce me with the rest of her family. We're staying there for two days and I can tell that I am more excited than her.
Alexi is exactly what Natasha said he'll be. He do talk a lot, well, about him, his glorious days and Melina have to stop him from time to time. I don't mind though. I like to hear stories of other people's experiences.
Melina is sweet and honestly, you thought that she's Natasha's older sister at first until she said her name. Yeah, she's drop dead gorgeous! She has her own farm and garden in their backyard which she's been working on quite some time now. Impressive.
And there's the little one in the family. Yelena. If their mother is gorgeous, she is too cute and I really want to pinch those fluffy cheeks but that will be too weird and awkward. She did have a little sass, pretty much like Natasha. I noticed the sisters were having some intense look at each other but maybe that is just sisters thing. Right? Maybe Natasha told them to be on their best behavior or something before we get here. For her, first impression matter the most.
Breaking the silence, I ask Natasha to handle me the salt. Alexi at the center of the table as the head of the family. Natasha and Yelena sit next to each other on his left side while I sit next to Melina, in front of Natasha. "Nat, can you pass me the salt, please?"
The sisters once again, looking at each other and decide to grab each other collar, slamming their heads on the table. "Don't start." Natasha grumble and Yelena say the same thing. "You don't start." Melina scold them but she’s been ignored. "There goes the food. You two never appreciate whatever I cook." Alexi chuckle at the situation, like it was a normal thing. "Oh, come on Melina. You have tons of this salad and other green things in your precious garden." Melina let out a long sigh at his sentences. “At least please do something about your daughters.” Alexis chuckles and bite his chicken. “Do what? They will ignore me like they did to you. Their ‘mother’. They're grown ups.”
Before things get worse, I try to stop the sisters from chocking each other. "Stop it. Stop it you two. Natasha, let go of your sister!" Natasha look at me and about to release her sister. Of course Yelena have something to say. "Pussy." She laugh and there they go. One grab the knife and one grab the fork, wrestling happens. Alexi take the salt and pass it to me with guilty smile on n his face and I slowly take it. “Don’t worry. I will not chocking you.” Melina glare at him. “Alexi, she’s our first nice, polite guest that will not kill us! Please.”
Melina turns too look at me, shame and and guilt shows on her face. "Can you survive two days with them being in the same roof here?"
"All I asked for is salt. I didn't see that coming." Alexi laughs at my statement. "You'll get use to it. That is how they showing love for each other." "I teach 20 students of 5 and 6 years old, 5 days a week. That is not how we showing love." Natasha slams Yelena in front of me. "Here's you salt."
"That's it. Enough you two!" I stand up from my seat pulling both of their ears. None of them dare to lay a finger on me. "It is rude enough to have an argument at dinner table but you guys just had a fight!"
"She started it! It's not fair." Yelena pointed to her older sister.
"You always do that every time someone asked for salt! Not today!" Natasha point back.
"Shut up. Both of you! Now apologize to your mother for ruined the food." You said, still pinching their ears. Silent. None of them say a word. "Seriously? Now both of you be quiet?"
"You told us to shut up! We’re shut up!" Natasha responded.
"Yeah, it is rude to argue at dinner table. Not nice. Big sin. Bad." Yelena replied with her thick accent.
"Apologize!" I pinch their ears a little harder until they apologize.
"Okay! Okay!! We're sorry." They said.
"Sorry for what?"
"Sorry for ruined the food!!" They both grumble and I let go of their ears. Slowly they walking back to their seats.
Melina smile proudly at me. "I didn't know we can do that."
"Well, if they wanna act like children, treat them as children." I finally pouring the salt in peace.
"I thought she's cute when she said she’s a kindergarten teacher." Yelena muttered to her sister.
Natasha take a sip of her drink. "She can be scary sometimes." 
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incorrectquotesmcu · 2 days ago
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Scott: Hi, welcome to Starbucks! What can I get you today?
Natasha: How much is it to fill a venti with Espresso?
Scott: I- I'm sorry?
Natasha: A venti cup. How much to fill it with Espresso?
Scott: Oh. Uh. Well, it'd be... I only have a button for a Quad. I don't have special pricing for twenty ounces of espresso in a single... drink.
Natasha: Price is the furthest thing from my mind right now. How many 'add shots' is that?
Scott, afraid: It'd be a Quad with, [clears throat] uh, sixteen additional shots.
Natasha: Perfect.
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frenchrebelfries · a month ago
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Peter: did you guys ever got caught cheating?
Tony: *nods* got a hard slap from it kid
Peter: Thats-
Y/N: personally I'm an expert on not getting caught, do you need any tips?
Natasha: *angry tone* what?!
Y/N: have you caught me cheating?
Natasha: ...
Y/N: exactly. So first and foremost is don't cheat
Natasha: *smiles lovingly* you dork
Y/N: your dork
*Natasha and Y/N gets lovely dovely*
Peter: I was talking about tests...
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sallytiddy19 · 19 days ago
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Natasha: *busts someone’s jaw off with her swinging titties*
Y/n: why are my panties moistening lol🤨
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loqov · 14 days ago
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Sam: What’s your body count?
Steve: One
Wanda: Zero
Maria: Four
Y/n looking at their phone screen: Over fifty per year
*Avengers staring at Y/n making them look up*
Natasha:....
Natasha: You’ve been sleeping with people behind my back?!
Y/n with shocked face: W-what? I thought we were talking about how many people we’ve killed
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wandanatvoid · a month ago
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[Natasha driving]
Y/n: *panicking* Nat, are you sure about this?
Natasha: Relax, I'm a confident driver.
*crashes*
Y/n: Y-YOU JUST DROVE US INTO A TREE?!!
Natasha: *shrugs* Confidently, though.
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clueless-sapphic · a month ago
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Y/n: If we were frogs would you let me share your lilypad, be honest.
*Natasha sighs*
Natasha: But we’re not frogs…
Y/n: DONT AVOID THE QUESTION
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gaysuperheroes · 15 days ago
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[Chilling with Avengers]
Natasha: I don’t know how to tell u all this, so I’m just going to whisper it into Yelena’s ear causing her to shout it out in astonishment.
Natasha: [Whispers to Yelena]
Yelena *literally screams*: YOU ARE DATING WANDA?! AND I’M ONLY GETTING TO KNOW THIS NOW?
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