#natasharomanoff angst

[smalls-words]

Demons Are Angels When It Comes To Love

Summary: Natasha loves a demon. And she definitely shows it.

Pairings: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Demon!Reader, Wanda and Pietro and Tony x Reader (besties), Carol x Brunnhilde (lovers <3).

Warnings: Demon stuff, Rhodey being an asshole, Tony not being an asshole (that’s a first), protective twins. Body image issues, shapeshifting causing mental harm, blood, injuries. 

A/N: I don’t know why I wrote with Demon!Reader. Just kinda came to me since I’ve been doing my Nat series. Enjoy.

*not my gif*

The world knows about aliens, androids and wizards, a few of them on the Avengers mighty team that stretched across galaxies. But the creator, Nicholas Joseph Fury, kept a small secret from them all.

Demons and angels walked amongst them.

He had found you when you’d gotten high off of a drugged mortal, who eventually overdosed six hours later. You were in a holding cell and it wasn’t your first time, but your powers were out of whack because of the mix of heroin, cocaine, MDMA and alcohol. He took you home after paying the fine for being drunk and disorderly, but luckily the blood wasn’t questioned since it was Halloween.

Nobody really questioned your appearance, it wasn’t unlikely given what they’d previously dealt with, but the whole demon side was new. They’d seen horns, wings and a tail before - yours were very much what they’d pictured in ‘cartoons’ and in biblical manners.

But then… Then you met Natasha.

Natasha was the best thing you’d come across in your entire life. Her soul was pure, even if she thought her actions and past made her darker than your own soul. Then you explained to her one night that you didn’t have a soul, which made her giggle.

You made sure you heard that sound everyday you could, and so far in your one and a half month relationship, you had. She would come around to your place almost every day, and on the days she couldn’t, you’d send her funny texts and she promised to use the voice messages to calm you down.

Natasha’s friends, however…

Being a demon came with pros and cons. Pros - shapeshifting, magic, immortality, general superpowers like invulnerability and super senses and reflexes. Cons - Hard-core Christians, old people, immortality. Most young people saw the pros and often asked for a demonstration, whilst older people threw crosses or swore at you.

You really didn’t want that to happen when you moved into the compound. 

It was an order given by Fury, who demanded you be transferred from a regular SHIELD agent to the Avengers, and Tony was very pleased to have you. He admired your ability to consume alcohol with no or little effect, your intelligence gifted by time, your powers that he could test his machines on with your consent, and he loved your personality and relationship with Natasha.

He never thought the Triple Impostor could learn to love. But, if it had to be anyone, it would probably be a demon. 

Sitting in his lab, you watched him fiddle with something in his suit’s knee before a knock came to the door. You smiled widely, giving the redhead a flash of your fangs, before she leapt into your arms and you easily caught her.

“Hey, sweetness.” You kissed her softly, holding her jaw and some of her neck.

“Hi.” She gleamed up at you.

“How was your mission?” You asked, seating her on your lap whilst your tail curled around her waist.

“It was good. We got two more Widows free, and Yelena’s gone to make more vials.” She murmured as she leaned into you, her hand coming up your shirt to tickle against your back.

“Come on, then. Let’s go and get you showered.” 

You stood, your tail keeping her by your hip, and you patted Tony on the back. “See ya, Stark.”

“Don’t forget about the party tonight! I need my demon girl there for drunk poker!” He called out as you left. 

You helped Natasha shower, washing her hair for her whilst she just leaned against you, and you thanked her when she washed your bat-like wings. You wrapped her up in your fuzzy towel, taking the rougher one instead, and helped her get dressed before laying her down in bed.

“Tasha, I have to do some work for Fury, so you should have a nap and when you wake up, I’ll be done.” You kissed her forehead, but she grabbed onto your wrist.

“But we always cuddle after a mission.” She whined.

She watched your eyes change from their dark auburn to their acidic yellow, looking over her. She stayed still and watched them change back, grinning when you sighed. “Come on, then.” 

You sank into your chair and opened up the files needed finishing, waiting for her to sit down on your lap. She nestled into you, kissing you gently as she admired your features.

“Are you excited for the party tonight?” She queried, braiding a small section of your hair.

“I sure am. Haven’t seen Wanda and Pietro for ages. I missed my speedy buddy.” 

“What about me?” She smirked, and you snickered into a kiss on her temple.

“I always miss you. If I was allowed, I’d come and visit you.” 

She grinned, proud of herself, but you saw in the reflection of the screen that she was getting sleepy. You warmed yourself up and exchanged her shirt with one of your own via summoning, leaving the buttons undone but her bra covered her boobs to stop tempting you.

“Sleep well, my sweet.” You kissed her head softly before dulling the sounds around you, giving her as much peace as she needed.

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When she woke in her bed, you greeted her by a surprise teleportation on top of her. She grinned sleepily at you and you gently sank on top of her, peppering her cheeks with little kisses. “Good evening, Sleeping Beauty.” 

“Have you come to wake me from my slumber, Princess Y/N?” She gently kissed your lips, tasting a bit of cinnamon.

“Doughnuts, my human.” You answered her thought and she quickly rolled on top of you. 

“What time is it?” She plopped down on top of you but you didn’t get winded.

“6. Party starts at 7.” 

She nuzzled her head into your neck and kissed your skin. “I don’t wanna go.” Her groan was muffled, but you caught it.

“I know, sugar. But we do need to make at least an hour’s appearance.” You gently ran your nails up and down her back.

“If you keep doing that, I’m gonna fall back asleep and we’re gonna be late.” 

“I can get us ready in a flash, my darling.” You chuckled.

The hour passed quickly before Natasha and you made your appearance outside in the courtyard, your suit matching her dark velvet red dress. Eyes were drawn to you both, but you made no effort in your magical ability and Natasha’s arm linked in yours showed she was very much taken.

You made your rounds to whom you needed to before you spotted platinum blonde hair next to brunette, the two turning into blurs until they hugged you tightly.

“Demonica!” Pietro yelled in excitement.

“Hello, Pietro and Wanda.” You smiled at them both.

“This party is going to be so boring if you don’t do something.” He whined, the childish soul of his desperate for dopamine.

“You both look stunning.” Wanda complimented, especially on the little chains that hung from your horns and woven into your hair.

You kissed Natasha as she left, admiring how she walked with self-confidence and almost regality before Pietro sped you to the couch. 

“Alright, let’s play!” 

You looked at your surrounding opponents in this game of drunk poker - Carol and Brunnhilde were together, the blonde sitting on her king’s lap; Tony and Pepper, but the strawberry blonde wasn’t paying attention; Pietro and Wanda, the girl not knowing how to play; and Rhodey was your final opponent, sitting by himself on the couch to your right.

The game started off with everyone having 20 chips, divided evenly by Peter who was now talking to Happy and Fury. You won the first two rounds with a royal flush and a full house, earning yourself a total of 56 chips since everyone had bet highly. 

Tony won, then Carol and Bruni (as you nicknamed her), and Pietro won a hand with Wanda’s help. Rhodey, however, was getting pissed off as he was now down to 6 chips. 

“Hey, Demonica, want a drink?” Pietro asked and you nodded, thanking him for his offer before he sped away.

“Why does he call you that?” Rhodey questioned.

“Because he likes Metallica and I’m a demon.” You replied, answering Rhodey’s call of one chip.

“Wow, never would have guessed from your get-up.” He chuckled sarcastically, watching Carol/Bruni and Tony fold, Pietro having done so to get drinks.

You thanked FRIDAY for dealing the next card, your set of ace/king fairing well with the ten and nine. “I wouldn’t call it a get-up, for it is my natural shape. Our king is a kind one, and accepting of all shapes and sizes of us.” 

“But you know that everyone is terrified of you, right?” 

Your hand was outstretched to raise the bet, but Rhodey beat it to you and called all-in. “W-What?” 

“You don’t know? Really?” He scoffed. “Wow. You really don’t understand humans.” 

“How am I not understanding you?”

“Rhodey, cut it out, man.” Tony grumbled.

You turned your powers back on and sniffed Rhodey’s scent, almost gagging from the amount of alcohol in his veins. “You are intoxicated, James Rhodes. I will not be speaking to you anymore tonight.” 

You guided your chips to Carol and Brunnhilde before going to the bar, finding Pietro there with Wanda and Natasha. You came to Natasha’s side and placed your hand on the small of her back, kissing her forehead gently before listening to the conversation.

“So there was this one girl in HYDRA that Wanda really liked, and dare I say even kissed… and they were so cute!” Pietro grinned at his blushing sister.

“Shut up, Pietro! I told you that in confidence!” Wanda grumbled, looking over at you.

“Oh, hey Y/N/N.” 

“Hello, my favourite twins.” You smirked. “Is it okay if I steal my beautiful girlfriend from your conversation?”

“Of course!” 

You took Natasha’s hand in yours and gently guided her to the fountain outside, sitting down on a bench that faced the beautiful structure. Natasha sat next to you, still holding your hand, and sat in the silence with you.

She knew you struggled with your pure demonic side. The instincts that lay beneath the shell of an intelligent mind. The urge to drink from humans, to punish and make them serve you. She understood what it was like to want to fall back onto those instincts, and she gently kissed the back of your hand to gain your attention.

“What is it, Y/N?” She asked oh so gently, as if her very breath could knock over the tower of your emotions like they were cards.

“I am alright, Tasha. I just needed some air.” You murmured, gently taking her hand in yours to trace your nails over her hand.

Though she doubted your words, she didn’t question them. 

“Thank you for loving me.” You looked at her, eyes full of love.

“I could say the same, my dear.” She cupped your cheek and kissed you softly, pulling away ever so slightly.

“I think we’ve stayed past our hour. Let’s go to bed.” 

You nodded, guiding the shadows to encase you and your love.

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Natasha was right. She was always right.

Over the coming days, you were taken on less missions and nobody could enter your room. On one day that almost everybody had gone, you found yourself looking in the mirror at your reflection. 

“But you know that everyone is terrified of you right?” 

Really? Were you really that hideous to look at? You pushed and pulled at the soft skin of your stomach, the already red tone not showing any evidence. 

*I guess I could show a little less skin… Maybe even do…* You shifted into human colours, sifting through them until you found something you felt was normal.

You looked at your horns and gently shrank them until they disappeared, doing the same with your wings and tail before shortening your nails and fangs. You did a little google search and found the selection of eye colours, picking one that sorta matched the human skin.

*Hmm. I’ll have to get Rhodey’s opinion.* You muttered, looking around for your phone.

“Who… the hell… are you?”

You lifted your head to see Natasha aiming her gun at your forehead, calling out to FRIDAY to alert the team of an intruder. You quickly raised your hands and undid your magic to reveal your eyes, realisation flickering through hers.

“Y/N/N? What…? I don’t understand.” She threw her gun down and came over to you, patting her hands and walking around you.

“Where are your wings? Your tail, your horns, your fangs?”

She looked up at you and cupped your cheeks, her thumbs brushing over your skin - skin she didn’t see as yours.

“Bring it all back. Right now.” She demanded pleadingly.

You closed your eyes and easily broke down your façade, letting her check over you once more to make sure everything was back. She hugged you tightly and sat you down on the bed, taking your hand.

“Y/N, I need you to listen to me. I love you. I love you more than anything or anyone on every single plane of existence, and you need to know that so deeply that you will never doubt it. You need to know it in your bones. And if it takes me telling you every single day for that to happen, then so it will be.” 

You stayed quiet as she studied your hand. “Who made you doubt yourself? Because I certainly know it wasn’t me, Pietro, Wanda or Tony.”

She looked at you after you didn’t answer straight away, her stare piercing through your eyes and into your soul; if you even had one. “Who was it, Y/N? First name, last name, birthday, I don’t care how much information you give me, because I will hunt them down and make them pay for hurting you.” 

“Nobody can hurt me, my love.” You murmured.

“No? Then why do you wish to hide your true self? I do not love you for that other form, I love you for you.” She retorted hastily, your hands taking hers quickly.

“Okay, okay.” You kissed your hands that encompassed hers, closing your eyes as you sent the name through to her mind.

*James Rhodes.* It echoed as her vision turned red.

“Stay here.” She ordered and you did not move for the time she was gone. 

How long it was, you didn’t know, but she came back with bloodied knuckles and a split lip. You instantly stood, your eyes glowing as you towered over her. “Who hurt you?”

“I fought Rhodey for being an asshole to you. And I won.” She smirked, placing a hand on your chest.

“Breathe, my demon. Relax.” 

You took a deep breath and pushed down the instincts, most of which listened to her command. You then opened your eyes, taking another deep breath before you kissed her knuckles. “Come on.”

You took her to the bathroom and gently cleaned her hands, doing a little bit of magic so that they’d heal faster. You turned her around and kissed her deeply, holding her by her waist so that she wouldn’t fall back.

“Thank you, my love.” 

FRIDAY’s call for dinner had both of you wide-eyed, with Natasha leading you by the arm around your waist. 

“Where is your tail?” She asked.

“Right here, Tasha.” You gently wrapped it around her forearm and watched her visibly relax, realising something. 

Your form was what kept Natasha calm. The familiarity of it. Natasha needed you to be her demon to keep herself controlled. Unfamiliarity brought out the Widow hiding in the crevices of Natasha’s bones, and you knew she could do some damage.

As you entered the kitchen, you could feel the tension in the air. Well, actually, it was just your skin tightening from body language, but that’s the same thing.

“Where’s Rhodes?” Steve asked as he walked in with Bucky, the man giving you a pat on the shoulder with his metal arm before serving himself dinner.

“Medical wing.” Tony replied.

“Why?!” 

“Natasha beat him to a pulp. He had to resort to his War Machine hand to hurt her.” 

He looked over at Natasha and she glared at him. “Have something to say about it?”

“What did he do?” He asked instead.

“Insulted Y/N’s demon biology.” She shrugged, standing in front of you even as your tail stayed on her forearm.

“He did what?” The twins growled, Wanda’s eyes glowing and Pietro’s fists blurring in place.

“Good job, Romanoff.” Tony saluted her, dishing himself some dinner too.

“Wait. You’re all just going to agree with this?” You asked.

“Of course. You are a part of the team. You live here, which is a step up from Rhodey in the friendship circle. You are our friend, and we love having you around.” 

“FRIDAY, what is Rhodey’s assessment of injuries?” Bucky asked the AI.

“One punctured lung caused by five broken ribs, another two on the other side, snapped tibia, humerus and radius, dislocated shoulder, black eye and broken cheekbone.” She reported.

Everybody turned to Natasha, watching her curl your tail around her waist whilst wrapping your wing around her body. “My demon. Nobody hurts her without repercussions.”

The group laughed at her antics before sitting down for the movie, Natasha’s hand in yours as she took you over once she served your dinner. She fed you the dinner, making sure to give herself some too in case you scolded her, before snuggling up to you halfway through the movie.

“I love you, my demon.” She whispered against your collarbone, kissing it after.

“I love you, my human.” You replied, keeping her warm as she fell asleep.

You gladly fell asleep with her.

#smalls words #natasharomanoff #natasharomanoffimagine #natasharomanoff x reader #natasharomanoff fluff #natasharomanoff angst #natasha romanoff angst #natasha romanoff fluff #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #demon!reader #Demon!Y/n #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff

[romanoffsbish]

Unwelcome Surprise…

Natasha Romanoff x FemHill!Reader

Carol Danvers x Maria Hill

Lessons Learned (Part 2)

Natasha’s an idiot, Tony’s an even bigger one, and Y/N’s an emotional wreck who needs a little help from her friends.

SMUT | 18+ | MINORS DNI ‼️

Angsty as fuck!!! Gaslighting... Abandonment.

18+ !! Heavy Smut!!

"Hate" fuck!!!, Oral/Face riding(Reader), Degrading commentary, Fingering(Both), Breast/Thigh fixation/marking(!!)

Tony Stark, total genius to the world, but ever the idiot to anyone who actually knows him. He's never been one for minding his own business, so when he stumbled upon a random woman who shared a namesake with his teammate he sent her an invite to a Stark party.

"Y/N Romanoff... Let's see if you're as hot as your potential relative..." The billionaire murmurs to himself while he tinkers with his damaged suit, and instructs Friday to send the invitations to the 'Post Deadly Mission Party'.

———

—

You stepped out to collect the mail while your three year old incessantly babbled your ear off, mussing your hair up with his animated hands, as he sat comfortably upon your hip.

"Is that right?" You gasp enthusiastically in an effort to encourage him as you stand on your porch steps and sort through your mail.

Laura stepped outside to wave your way, but you were busy glaring at the envelope in your hand, and then your son stilled in your arms once he saw Nate.

"Mama!!! 'Loot!!" Mason squealed, and you swiftly let his squirming form down once you spotted his built in bestfriend eagerly waiting for him.

"Any word from Nat yet?" Laura questions you with a sympathetic look and you shrug, passing an envelope her way then proceeded to sort through the rest of the mail.

"If she thinks inviting me to a party with her team is going to make me forgive her after three months of silence then she's surely mistaken... Here I am, worried sick about her, and she's apparently living it up with her pals."

"I thought she wanted to keep you all a secret?" Laura—ever the skeptic, states with a perplexed expression.

"Yeah, she's clearly just all over the place Laur'... Leaving me all alone for months at a time, then making me feel like I'm the one in the wrong when I ask for just the slightest bit more of her time. Then Lily hears us arguing, and winds up resenting me come morning when Nat's gone off on a mission to escape me. It's just, I don't think she even wants me anymore."

"Y/N/N, she's never exactly been good at expressing herself, but anyone with eyes could see how much she loves you..."

"Yeah, that's still not an excuse for treating me like I'm easily expendable. This just wasn't where I saw myself, you know? Tucked away on a farm, raising our kids while she runs away from me any chance she gets. I dreamed of traveling the world, broadening my horizons and experiencing the world in all its glory. Then I gave all of that up for this shared dream of having a family together, but she's not living up to her end, and it's turned into a nightmare.”

"Do you ever tell her any of this?"

"All the time..." You sigh out, running your hands through your hair to try to air out your sweaty scalp.

"She either tries to screw me into silence, or gaslights me into feeling bad for making her feel 'guilty' for keeping our world safe."

Laura's face reddens at your candid statement, and you sheepishly smile her way, then the two of you just laugh it off.

"Y/N, just go to the party, try to fix this, because I can't keep watching you mope around anymore. Take the extended olive branch, and if she doesn't work with you, wack her over the head with it." She muses, then you chuckle at her attempt to cheer you up.

"What about Lily and Mason?"

"Sounds like it's time for a sleepover." She shouts in mock excitement and you playfully roll your eyes before going to prepare over the night bags.

"Plus, I'm sure you'll get to see Maria, who I'm certain must miss you." She adds on, which is the icing on the cake because you missed your older sister beyond normalcy.

Lily was more than pleased to find out that she got to get away from you for a night, collecting her bag without so much as a goodbye. Mason was giddy as can be when you had told him that he got to sleep with Nate in his car bed. However, he cried and tried to chase your car down when he realized it meant you were going to be gone.

——

Natasha just got back from a grueling mission of her own, one that had spanned the length of three months. Deep undercover missions used to be her absolute favorite thing, but then you and the kids came along and now she detests them. In the moment accepting the mission felt right, after the horrible fight she had started got out of hand, she just needed to get out of the house. Watching the pain swirling around your eyes had hurt her immensely, and to know it was her doing nearly broke her completely.

—

As you settle into your hotel for the night you dump your bag onto the bed and curse your wife for the last minute invite. She couldn't just call you to invite you—no, she sends mail to your farm that only gets deliveries twice a week; the supposed extended olive branch seems more like a brittle twig at the moment.

You're currently staring at the clothes scattered across the bed, torn between wearing a skirt with a crop top, or the fancy dress you'd pointlessly purchased to wear for your tenth anniversary last month. No matter how much you two fight, she'd never missed any of your important milestones; this time around she did though, and she did it without even a text message thrown your way. Your 'Wish you were here, I love you Nat...' had gone unread and your heart nearly shattered when it did. Nerves start to overtake you as you second guess your decision to even go.

Why should it always be you making the effort to fix things?

Maybe this time you could leave her waiting on you, so she could know how it felt, but then you'd have to lie to Laura, and there's no getting away with that. So you scream into a pillow before settling on the dress then heading off to take a shower, hopeful it will calm your nerves.

While putting the deep forest green halter dress on you'd been admiring the way your body looked, having missed being able to have a reason to dress up. The sound of your phone pinging pulled you out of your feelings though. Opening the phone you saw it was a set of messages from Laura with attached images, your collective brood were lying under a pillow fort in the living room surrounded by snacks. Wide smiles upon their faces, then a simple:

*Get your assassin, and bring her home. 😉*

With an eye roll and quick reply sent you slipped your phone into your bag then set off to hail a cab so that you'd arrive fashionably late to the event. Stepping into the building had left your skin crawling at the sheer size of the guest list. Celebrities were scattered all around the room, but your eyes were too busy searching for your wife to even acknowledge them.

After what felt like years of searching you'd found her situated behind the bar, hand over her coworkers while she laughed at something she had said. Despair had been what hit you first, having always been worried you weren't enough for the assassin, even with the constant reassurances. Once your wife parted from her place you'd approached the bar and took the vacant stool next to the woman.

"Scotch on the rocks please."

The bartender that had just arrived nodded, then the blonde beside you turned to you with a curious gaze, subsequently opening her mouth and instantly falling into your trap.

"Rough day?"

"More like rough year." You bitterly chuckle out while taking a stiff drink from your glass, allowing the liquid to really burn.

"Care to elaborate?" She asks in a teasing tone, clearly looking for the gossip of the century.

"Nothing special really, just a smidge of trouble in paradise. You know, now that I'm thinking about it, I'm not entirely sure why they even call it paradise. Marriage is more like when you get a new job, heart overflowing with hope, and you're thinking it's going to be all you dreamed of. Then a few months have gone by, and your boss grows horns as they usually do, and you find yourself in a new version of hell."

"Jesus..." She snorts, her calloused hands instinctually falling to your exposed back in an attempt to comfort you.

The gesture sends shivers down your spine, causing your heart to twinge with guilt, turning in a kind attempt to remove her touch from your skin.

"Enough about me, how about you tell me about you? I don't want to scare you off from love, I promise it's not all bad."

"Oh, my dear girl, I am but a hopeless sap, so you're not going to scare me off that easily. Actually I'd sat down here to collect a drink for my girlfriend and I before an angry woman with an uncanny resemblance to her had cut me in line."

"Carol?!" You gasp, and the women smirks at the way the realization washes over your face.

"Yeah, this isn't exactly how I thought we'd meet, regardless it's indeed lovely to meet you. I'm guessing Natasha's in the dog house then? I'd heard Maria ripping her a new one before she had took off on that undercover mission, but I've learned to not ask when it came to you."

"Yeah, she came home after months away to pick a fight, then took off on a mission with no word to me, which in turn caused her to miss our anniversary and son's third birthday. Then apparently she made it home intact, but chose to go partying."

"In her defense—not to say she deserves it, but she did only just land two hours ago, and before she could get her stuff out of lockup Stark swept her off in the direction of her room here telling her attendance was mandatory and that he had a surprise for her."

That couldn't be right, because if she was gone until today then who the fuck would've sent the invitation to you?

Carol saw the panic written all over your face, concern immediately consuming her as she saw you struggling to breathe, and she was quick to tap her necklace three times before she tried to figure out what was wrong with you.

Maria had been sat on a couch, scrolling through her old text messages from you, admiring the pictures of your kids while Natasha sat beside her with her head in her hands.

"'Ria, I can't be here any longer, you need to help me escape..."

"Tasha, you're a trained spy, and a level 8 S.H.I.E.L.D agent, if you wanted out you'd be gone. Stop pretending you're not terrified of my sister, because as someone who grew up with her I honestly think you should be."

"It's just, the mission was only supposed to be a month... I was so angry in the moment, but then I went and missed two major milestones. They're the one thing I ever did right, and now I might lose her and the family I'd dreamed of all because I never felt deserving of it."

"That's a shitty cop out Natasha, whether you felt worthy enough or not, you had time before you started a family with her. Y/N's dreams were always so vibrant growing up, through all the hell we'd been put through she had still remained so bright. Never once did she dream about motherhood, but once she met you her dreams evolved to fit yours, and all she wanted was to give you that family. You royally fucked up here, so be prepared for the consequences."

Natasha went to rebut, but she simply fell short in terms of a comeback, and then Maria was jumping to her feet with her fingers twiddling with her necklace.

"Carol needs me, I have to go."

"I'm coming too."

Maria said nothing in support of this, but she didn't stop her from following either.

—

Tony was bouncing on his feet like a petulant child on Christmas morning once Friday had informed him that you'd arrived. A nano tracker strategically placed onto your invitation so that he'd be able to track your arrival, and now he was about to put you into the direct spotlight.

Never once did it cross the playboy's mind that this could be a bad idea, because had you really just been a random civilian, well at least now you could say you met the Avengers, right?

Before Maria, and the sulking redhead trailing behind her could reach Carol to help with her unknown dilemma the lights in the room had shut off, then one singular ray illuminated the party stage and the drunken man stood on it.

"Ladies, gentlemen, and folks of all creeds, I'd like to thank you from the bottom of my reactor for making it out tonight. This is the first time in over three months that all us Avengers were able to be in the same room together, and I just think that's worth an elaborate celebration." He greets the crowd, receiving a gentle roar of cheers that he allowed to die down before continuing.

"Now, before I allow this kick-ass party to resume I'd like to make a special introduction. Agent Romanoff...."

He paused for dramatic effect, spotlight landing upon the former assassin, causing every hair on her body to stand at attention in nervous anticipation for what the idiot on the stage had planned for her.

"When I was tinkering around with my suit's, and running my weekly scan of all of our surnames through databases Friday stumbled upon something rather interesting..."

At the sound of his words both Natasha and Maria's heads turned to take in his smirking face, their expressions grim at the obvious thought.

"So, without further ado, I'd like to introduce you all to a Miss Y/N Romanoff! How about we see if there's any resemblance to our redhead." He excitedly slurs into the microphone.

Before you could even begin to register his words over your dwindling panic you were being blinded by a rather bright light. This attention only spurred on another roll of panic, causing you to literally vomit up the granola bar you'd munched on this morning all over the floor before your sisters girlfriend feet.

"Okay, so apparently she's not a fan of the spotlight... My apologies honey..."

Tony holds off from gulping in front of the crowd at the sight of the women glaring daggers through him, he's not entirely sure what he'd done yet, but he knew that his life was very much on the line because of it.

"LET'S PARTY!!!" He shrieks in an attempt to reroute everyone's focus, then does his best to fade into the crowd that began jumping along to the music once more.

Natasha made a beeline for the bar, where she was now scooping you up like she'd done all those years back on your wedding night and simply carried you off to the closest private space; while Maria and Carol went after the idiot that quite literally put a target on your back and your safety at risk.

—

Natasha sat your sobbing form down on the couch, painfully watching you curl in on yourself as she herself paced around the room.

"Baby, what are you doing here? We had—."

"Don't call me that.." You reply venomously.

"Baby please, I know I messed up, but please don't shut me out."

Her pathetic pleads are met with your incredulous laughter.

"Shut you out? That's fucking rich coming from you, miss vow of fucking silence."

"Moya lyubov', please hear me out..."

Far too exhausted to fight anymore you simply hummed a broken tune, urging her to go on, while hugging yourself for comfort.

"Fury had said it was only supposed to be a month, and then when it was underway I was too deep to pull out when it got extended out. The whole time I was away I'd spent reflecting on that pointless fight I started with you. I'm so incredibly sorry for how I've been acting, not a day went by that I didn't cry over being away from you all."

Her fingers were nervously fidgeting as she took in a sudden shaky breath before continuing on.

"When our anniversary had hit I was an inconsolable wreck, unable to even complete my tasks for that day. The same mess occurring of me last week when Liam's birthday passed and I couldn't celebrate with my beautiful family. Moya lyubov', I'm going to take time off, Fury's approved me for an entire year, and of course I'm taking it so that we can all travel the world together. It'll be perfect, a dream come true."

Once she finished her pathetic attempt at an apology you were feeling an entire slurry of emotions. Three months ago, and this would've worked on you, but now you'd decided that she needed the reality check of a century. So, even if all you wanted to do was throw yourself into her arms after all these months you had to refrain. Natasha stared at you expecting you to melt into her open arms, but judging by the look in your eyes she knew it wasn't going to go in the direction that she'd hoped.

"Sorry can't fix those nights that I spent alone without comforting arms to hold me while I instead cried myself to sleep." You lightly choke out, failing miserably at containing your sadness, but within a moments notice the same sadness fuels your anger as you get everything off your chest.

"Or will it save me from those nights where I felt worthless, like when I messaged you on our anniversary and received nothing... You never told me it was a no contact mission, hell you didn't even tell me what you were doing at all. For all I know you were out fucking other women."

"Hey! You will not insinuate that I am a cheater! I would never..." Natasha interrupts, heart absolutely ripped to shreds at the notion, but the brokenness behind your shielded gaze has her quieting down once more.

"Nor the irreparable damages those fights have caused to our daughters view of me. She adores the ground you walk on, and all she ever sees is me driving you away. So then I find myself overwhelmed with the toddler who has formed an unhealthy attachment to my hip and the hatred thrown at me on the daily by Lily."

Natasha blinks in quick succession as your angry words come flying out, fighting off an onslaught of tears as she hears how her piss poor abilities to process her anger have somehow transferred over to your daughter

"So, Natasha, while you were crying over your own regrettable choice to run, I was left crying myself to sleep every night over every single mess your decisions had left in their wake. "

"I'm so sorry, please, I'll do anything to fix us... Let's go home, I'll hold you close just like you deserve. I'll talk to Lily—I'll fix this mess, I promise we'll have our happily ever after..."

"This might come as a surprise to you Nat, but that's just not how this is going to go. So long are the days where I just bend to your will, and forgive you in favor of a days worth of your time. You should go home though, collect our kids from Laura, maybe even spend some one on one time with them because lord knows they sure do miss you."

"And what about you?" She questions incredulously over the lump in her throat, tears starting to fall as it finally dawns on her that this will be harder than she thought, the easiness of fixing things is a way of the past.

"I'm sorry, but that's just not your concern." Your flat response comes out, shocking the woman to her core.

"You're the love of my life, the mother of my children and still my fucking wife so it definitely is my concern."

The anger she'd tried to hold at bay in lieu of a civil conversation was quickly getting the better of her—as per the course, the simple thought of you leaving her has the woman full on spiraling. Never had she imagined a reality where you weren't by her side, little did she want to acknowledge that was already the life you'd obviously grown accustomed to, the life she'd been forcing you to live.

"I'm not sure how true any of that is anymore Natasha..."

Something snaps in the shell of a woman sat before you at the words you spit out in the heat of the moment. One second she's crying on the ottoman, the next she's grabbing your hips, slamming you into a wall, and kissing you as if her life depended on it—which for her, it does. This is always her final tactic, if her words fail her which is almost always the case, she uses her mouth in other ways to change your mind.

The anger that had been festering within you for the last year and a half outweighs the lust. Turned on by her actions though, you choose to finally give her a taste of her own medicine, using her body as she's done to you countless times. Using your hands to brutally grip at her waist you move to shove her onto the couch with no care whatsoever.

Natasha gasps at the action, but her mind is too far gone to notice the look in your eyes is beyond the lust of the situation, it's a mix of so much: lust, rage, a desperate need for revenge, all fueled by a deep seeded hurt...

Lips meet with just as much force, your tongue forcing its way into her mouth, exploring the nearly forgotten territory, pulling needy whines from the redhead as your hips roll against her own as you bite down then suck upon her tongue. Natasha's hands work quickly to bunch up your dress, moaning against your lips as soon as she feels your bare cunt, clearly she's trying her hardest to regain a semblance of control here. It's to no avail though as you pull back from her lips, dragging her bottom lip out as you do.

"Tell me Natty, did you miss me?"

"Yes detka, I missed you so much." She groans, frantic in the way she is bucking her hips up, hands on yours to move you in time with her, creating the much needed friction, and showing you just how desperate for you she truly is...

"How much?" You coax out of her, wanting to feel the desperation in your bones before you give in to her; your dainty fingers trailing the expanse of her exposed arms, leaving behind a scattering of goosebumps in their wake.

"So, so much detka, I was fucking miserable. Spent so many nights alone, working my fingers through my folds but it never worked because it wasn't you..." She admits in a frustrated set of whimpers, lips desperately moving against your collarbones as she works to bite her marks into your supple skin.

Bitterly you chuckle while pulling back from her hold, her eyes confused at your sudden change in demeanor, but before she can start to overthink you're using your hands to shove her onto her back, then traveling up her body to straddle her face with your gorgeous thighs.

Natasha's always been weak for your thighs, she could truly spend hours between them; biting into the plush skin while teasing you; tightly gripping them whenever she has to force them to stay open when you're too sensitive to do it on your own. Many nights she'd even fall asleep with her face smushed against one, so it comes as no surprise when she's eagerly wrapping her arms around them.

"Don't fucking touch..." You growl out, swatting her hands away before lowering your dripping cunt onto her awaiting mouth.

Hand tangled within her short red locks you use your firm grip to stabilize yourself so that you can fuck yourself by means of her face, bouncing vigorously with only your pleasure in mind as you work yourself up to your climax. Drenching her face in your slick, using your hold on her head to angle her face just right to receive pressure upon your sensitive bundle. Loud moans filling the tiny room as your wife's muffled groans cause pleasurable vibrations against your lower lips.

Pangs of arousal being sent to her very own core at the idea of being used by you, no more than a means for your impending climax. Although she'd wanted nothing more than to touch you—to please you, it'd be a lie to say Natasha's head wasn't absolutely spinning from your newfound display of dominance.

When your movements began to get sloppy Natasha ignored your earlier warnings, and you were too fucked out to care. Gripping onto your thighs tightly, she was somehow pulling you even further against her face and using her tongue the way she knew you preferred it.  Pulling you to the edge in the way only she ever could; your loud mewls evidence of that, and the sole reason for her slick covered thighs. 

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck...."

Natasha moans against your already sensitive core once the pit in your abdomen finally bursts, your hips stuttering as your abundant release rolls down her tongue, coating her throat and the majority of her face.

With her tight grip on your thighs she's able to flip you onto your back, face still buried in between your legs as she continues to relish in all your cunt has to offer; the smell of you beyond intoxicating, the insatiable need to taste you, the way that you're pulsing around nothing, and on how she plans to change that.

Her lips move to place open mouthed kisses upon your thighs, glistening love bites being left as she follows them up with her tongue, soothing your skin while collecting your slick. As she moves up your body her fingers play around your entrance, lightly tracing over it before suddenly thrusting three fingers into you as her lips attach to your perky nipple.

Her harshly sucking, and occasionally biting down has you arching your back, forcing even more of your breast into her mouth, and she's definitely not complaining; she'll take every last piece of you there is to offer.

Therein lies the problem...

Nearly forgetting yourself you allow your wife to worship your body the way she's done so many times before. Desperation for release driving the both of you, neither of you having really been fucked like this in nearly a year, because the nonstop fighting had always thrown a wrench in your love making plans.

Once her lips travel up, eventually landing upon your own everything seemed to slow down. Reality severely misconstrued as she pours every last ounce of her love into you, soft lips move against yours tenderly, while her fingers perfectly move within you with similar care, gliding effortlessly over your wet walls.

This new softness to her movements spurs on a sudden influx of emotions, fresh, hot tears begin to pool in the corners of your eyes as she begins to melt your anger back into its original source of sadness. Natasha feels the sudden way in which you gasp between the blending of your lips, pulling back she hovers over you, observing the sadness in your expression, and her heart clenches at the clear understanding that this is on her.

"Oh honey, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you like this..." She whispers, slender fingers still continuing their same brutal pace, palming over your clit as she leans forward to kiss your forehead.

"I'm here... I'm not going anywhere..." She whispers in promise, fingers curling in a come hither motion as she continues to pump into you in the hopes that she can bring you to the edge of bliss—to love you through this pain.

Her words have the opposite effect though, serving more so as the reminder that had she just stayed none of this would be happening. Neither of you would be working this hard to repair what was never meant to be broken.

"I love you..."

Those intimate words end up falling from her lips at the exact same moment that your entire body spasms from beneath her, your second orgasm far more intense than the last—hitting you like a ton of bricks; eyes rolling to the back of your head, while your walls clench so tightly that they hold the woman's fingers hostage.

After the high has run its course your arched body collapses against the couch, but Natasha's stilled fingers remain inside you as she places wet kisses to your heated skin, repeatedly whispering 'I love you' with each one she lays.

Eyes shooting open the moment you feel her tears fall onto your cheek, cascading across your skin on its way to blend in with your own. Her pained gaze is intense once your eyes lock, you almost feel sorry for her, but the settled rage slowly begins to simmer again.

Who does she think she is crying like this?

Is she seeking your sympathy for a problem she herself manifested?

Fucking pathetic...

"I love you too..."

As soon as the raspy words leave your mouth she's slamming her lips to your own, you lazily reciprocate the passionate kiss, planning to let it go on until you feel you have the strength to flip the positions.

Saying those words to her was hard, it's not because they weren't true—of course they were, but because giving her this sense of false hope isn't something you're exactly big on. Natasha's always struggled with processing her feelings, hell, it's why you're here to begin with. However, you're not doing this forgive and forget shit anymore, you're going to stick to the original plan and give her back what she's repeatedly given you—a false sense of security.

Wrapping your legs around her waist, you quickly shift and cause the both of you to tumble off the couch and onto the carpet. Natasha groans at the impact, but quickly smiles as she looks up to see you smirking.

"Yeah... I guess I deserved that..." She playfully grumbles before reaching up to pull your lips back to her own, and sighs at the way you move against her with less reservations than before.

For a brief moment you pretend like it's all okay, because for a second it kinda feels like it is. Your hands are quick to remove her dress, eyes widening as soon as you're blessed with the sight of her gorgeous, voluptuous breasts, perfectly ready to be marked up.

Natasha's breasts to you are the equivalent of your thighs to her, and the redhead is more than aware of this as she plans to tease you. Hands groping at the easily moldable skin, pressing them up and tracing her calloused fingers over her nipples in an enticing manner, drawing a needy whimper from her own lips, and driving you absolutely crazy.

"Hands off!" You warn, gripping her wrists to throw her arms to the side of her body before leaning down to harshly bite into the plush skin.

"Fuck..." She shrieks as the pain instantly sets in.

"That's the plan..." You cockily murmur over the pert nipple in your mouth, happily sucking upon it while your hand begins its descent.

Fingers lightly dancing across her smooth skin as they travel down her body, within a moments time she is squirming under your touch as you graze your fingers over her panty covered slit.

"Shit, you're fucking soaked through Natty..." You gasp, finding it rather shocking how aroused she actually is, a subtle hint to you that your lovers apparently been truly holding out on how rough she actually likes it.

While continuing to absolutely destroy her breasts, your fingers push her panties to the side, swiftly sliding into her with no resistance, stroking her walls as you slowly build her up. Natasha's chest heaves from beneath you as your lips work to leave no skin untouched, and skilled fingers continue their ministrations from down below. With every new bite to her skin you feel as her walls flutter around you.

"Just can't control yourself, mindless fucking whore that you are..."

You darkly laugh out over the extremely loud squelching noises that are coming from between your wife's widespread legs as she enthusiastically meets your thrusts, your fingers continuing to be sucked into her dripping cunt.

"You're just so fucking needy..."

"Mhm..." Natasha hums, far too lost in the pleasure of it all to realize what it is you're actually saying.

Her eyebrows furrow, mouth falling open as strangled moans leave her, it's apparent that she's nearing her climax by the way her walls continue to clench around your digits. Fingers scissoring from within, applying pleasurable pressure against her walls to finally push her over the edge, and for a fleeting moment you allow her to enjoy it. Thoroughly enjoying the way that your name repeatedly flies out of her mouth in between a choked melody of curses.

"...I can't fucking do this anymore..."

Finally, you whisper the words that have been painfully etched into your brain for months; the last thing she'd said to you before she left. Abruptly you pull your fingers out of her, leaving her high ruined, and her eyes snap open as the realization washes over her.

"Detka wait!" She whimpers, scrambling to her feet on shaky legs, attempting to reach you but you're somehow already halfway out the door.

Your mask nearly crumbles as you hear the desperation in her voice, and if you were to turn to face her you're certain you'll crumble.

Which is exactly why you keep your body turned away from her as you mutter out a cryptic little goodbye.

You'll break down when you get to Maria's...

"Laura's sort of expecting us in the morning, and when she asks why I'm not there please feel free to tell her that the supposed olive branch was nothing more than a rotting twig."

Natasha crumbles in on herself when the door slams shut, her foreseeable reality bleak, and the agony that she feels quickly consumes her. She really thought it was all going to be okay, she'd make love to you like no other time before, and take a step back from Avenging, but it appears she was too late. Her sobs only seeming to increase the more she thinks about what a life without you would look like.

After hours of unending sobbing she finally picks herself up off the ground, straightens herself out, then hops onto her motorbike for the long journey "home" without a single look back. Nothing more than the harsh winds there to dry her tears now...

Only one thought on her mind as she recklessly weaves through traffic; there's no such house that could ever be a home without you presently in it...

——————————————

5,925 Words

#carol danvers x maria hill #natasha romanoff #natasha x reader #natasha x you #natasha x y/n #natasha x fem!reader #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff angst #natasha romanoff x wife!reader #natasha romanoff x female reader #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff x y/n #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff smut #black widow angst #black widow smut #gxg #natasharomanoffpov #natasharomanoff #natasharomanoffxyn #avengerspov #black widow #black widow x y/n #black widow x female reader

[jay-ce01]

-Masterlist-

I will write about Marvel women (most Wanda and Natasha) and maybe other characters.

This will include fluff, angst and smut (maybe some g!p)

You can ask me if you have any requests, i accept anything :)

Enjoy ! :)

little snippets

one shots

#marvel #marvel women #natalia alianovna romanova #natasharomanoff #natasha x reader #black widow #wanda #wanda maximoff #scarlet witch #wanda x reader #gxg #fluff #angst #smut #love

[notlhecxzsa]

Stubborn Red Head - N.R

Warning: None(but, if I miss something that triggered you, please, kindly let me know! Mwaps)

Sum: Just natty, being a big stubborn head and a scaredy tiger to her girlfriend.

NatashaXFem!Reader!W/specs

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Natasha's POV:

"Come on Nat, your bruises are too deep to be ignore. Why can't you just simply go to the medbay, get your girlfriend to check and clean that?" Clint said as we sit on the living room. I sat there, staring hardly at the floor while crossing my arms, trying to ignore the pain, and Clint's scolding.

Me, Clint, Wanda and Steve just finished out mission. Something went out of the plan, it leads us to a very chaotic event. Wanda got her hand and foot dislocated, now she's being checked by Dr. Cho, while on the other hand, Steve is being treated by bruce, fortunately, for Clint he didn't injured himself.

While me, i have so many cuts and bruises around my body, some of the are black and blue already, some are deep, some are not. I can almost feel myself getting light headed as seconds past by, i know that im losing blood already.

"I can still manage, don't worry. I'll just go to my room and clean this up, it's not that too severe." I said as i tried to stand up, only to get stumbled back down on the sofa again.

"Yeah, you can really still manage..." Clint mocked me, making me glare at him.

"Come on, Nat don't be stubborn, or else that'll just get worse." He said warningly.

Before i can even utter a word, Wanda walked in the room with Steve, immediately taking notice of my state.

"You still haven't got that cleaned and checked up on, Nat?" Wanda said while frowning worriedly.

"No, i-" I was cut off by Clint.

"She's too stubborn." Clint said.

I immediately got an idea. Steve and Wanda are already done, it means, i can take my turn to get checked up on and cleaned by Dr. Cho.

But, once again, someone joined in on our conversation, and that someone is my girlfriend.

"What's with all the commotion here?" Her soft alluring voice called out, making their head whipped on her direction, while i just stayed frozen form where im sitting, closing my eyes as i bite my lip.

"Well, your stubborn girlfriend here, is being the stubborn woman that she is. She doesn't want to get checked up on, because according to her, 'she can manage'.", I heard Clint said.

"Well, i guess our job ends here. Let's go, boys!" Wanda exclaimed, before snapping her fingers.

I heard their footsteps descending, until i heard nothing anymore. There's a moment of silence, before i heard a heels clicking on the floor, as soon as it stopped, i opened my eyes, immediately gazing at my gorgeous girlfriend who is scanning me from head to toe.

There's no emotion in her face, but i can tell she's disappointed. I smiled sheepishly at her while scratching the back of my neck. I saw how she shook her head, before turning away and snapping her fingers, motioning me to follow her, which i did with no hesitation.

I followed her like a puppy, dragging my pained and aching body, stumbling as i did so.

"Sit." She said in a straight tone, and pointed the bed, as soon as we step inside of her very own clinic.

I obediently followed, i sit on the bed while waiting for her to do whatever she needs to do with me. I watch her movements, flinching at the sound she would make, like she wound throw things hard on the table here and there, and i can tell that it's in purpose, meaning that she's pissed.

"Discard your suit." I did carefully to not to harm my sore bruises, when i finished, i was left only with my tank top and tight boxers.

She sat infront of me, sitting on her chair that has wheels. She started cleaning my bruises, too focus on what she's doing that she doesn't notice me staring lovingly, but with guilt on her face.

How can she look so amazing, and hot at the same time just by wearing those spectacles of hers? Like, DAMN, what did i even did to have someone like her?

But, even with all the disappointments i see in her, the worried expression that is plastered on her face didn't go unnoticed. Her eyes are soft, and her touched are so gentle as she did her job, and it makes me more guilty.

"I'm sorry..." I said sincerely, trying to catch her gaze, but, she didn't even flinch, nor reacted, her face still stayed the same, while she just continued what she's doing.

"You should be." She said with no emotion.

The reason why i didn't want to go here, and let my girl see me in this state, it's because i know she will gonna be so worried, and mad. I mean, the last time i went home when im nearly losing my consciousness, she yelled and cried at me after i recovered. And believe me when i say, she didn't talked to me for a whole 3 days.

I mean, it's my fault tho. I promised her to come back just the way i left, although i know she knows that it doesn't really go by that, considering that my job is literally like a suicidal missions. But, i always try, and i failed. Sure, i go home with light cuts and bruises, but that didn't matter, because it's only a little, but i know that sometimes, i reached beyond my limits.

I just watched her as she gently took care of me, when it came to the stitching, she would say sorry whenever i would flinch and winced. After it was done, she stood up and cleaned everything, and packed it all up, while i just stayed seated, watching her every move, thinking of what i should do.

Don't get confused tho, im the top on this relationship, but everybody know that im an 'under' when it comes to my girlfriend.

She still didn't utter a word, and i know that i have to do something if i don't want this to go any longer.

I walk from where she stands, which us infront of our vanity table inside our room. We're just getting ready to go to bed, im already done, she is too, but she still needs to do her night routine. I snake my arms around her waist, and i felt her become tensed by the sudden action, but soon enough she relaxed as i kiss her shoulder and neck softly.

"I'm sorry, baby. Please? I'm really sorry. I didn't want to make you worried, something just went really wrong along the mission." I said softly while rubbing her tummy.

She still didn't utter a word and continue on what she's doing. I sighed defeatedly, but continue on comforting and wooing her.

"Hey, darling can you forgive me, please?" I ask while looking at him with my puppy eyes as i pleadingly pout my lips. She looked at me, and i know that she will gonna forgive me sooner.

I wrapped my hands around her middle part as i put my head on her chest, we're now laying on our bed, and only the moonlight, and the lamp in our bedside table are the only thing that are giving us light to see each other.

"Please? I don't want to sleep knowing this is our situation. You know how i can't sleep when we're like this, and i know you too. So please, come on, my love. Something just went really wrong along the mission, Steve and Wanda are injured too, so it wasn't really our fault, or my fault." I explained looking at her straight in the eyes, and now i saw how they soften, as i felt her arms wrapped itself around my head.

"Okay, i forgive you. Sorry too, i just- im just really worried and- disappointed and upset because you wouldn't come automatically to me when things like this happens. I mean, like, we already talked about this, but it's still the same." She said and i can see the sadness in her eyes, making me feel bad.

I kissed her forehead and buried my face on her neck, instantly sniffling her comforting smell. I put small kisses over it before i look at her again.

"I'm really sorry. I was just really scared and i don't want to see you being all worried like the last time." I said, and she frowned.

"Am i that mean for you to be scared at?" She pouted, making me chuckle and kiss her lips, making the pout go away.

"No, no, that's not what i mean, baby. It's just that, i already know how you'll react, and you know....i don't want to see you sad and upset." I said, and now, it's hee turn to kiss me, as a way of saying that she understands.

"Don't worry, baby. I promise, i'll be more careful soon, okay?" I said, giving her a reassuring smile, with tired eyes.

"Okay. Let's sleep already, im tired. Goodnight, i love you." She said before giving me a lingering kiss.

I hold the nape of her neck, deepening the kiss, but she pushed me away giggling as she did so.

"Okay, stop. I'm really tired, okay? You should rest to, i know you're tired." She said, and i nodded my smiling widely at her.

"Roger that, boss. Goodnight, i love you till the earth stops moving." I said, and she playfully pushed my face away while laughing.

"Cheesy." She said, before settling in.

I shifted into more comfortable position, usually, im the big spoon, but for now, i feel like needing more of her warmth to be wrapped around me, so that's what i did

God, i truly love this girl.

#natasha romanoff #natasha romonova #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff angst #natasha romanoff fanfic #natasha romanoff fluff #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff x you #natasharomanoff #natasha marvel

[the-disaster-in-waiting]

Only you can hurt me like this. (Natasha Romanoff x Reader)

Natasha was used to flirting with men for info or for pleasure really it was fun to see what she could accomplish sometimes and the men so sure their little plays and lies that spilt from their mouth were like magic making the redhead fall to her knees for them.

But with (Y/N) it was different.

She would feel like a high school girl a warmth in her chest and unable to look at her for fear of her face warming like a fire unable to be put out when she looked at her like that.

Which may have made the betrayal she felt at that moment all the more painful. She watched as (Y/N) flirted coyly with the man sat impossibly close to her. Legs squished against each other as she laughed at his offhanded comment. Natasha looked the man over attractive sure he had shaggy red hair and a strong athletic body, a new hire in the air view division tasked with overlooking all threats from the sky Natasha was confused on why he was here more specifically why he was sat in her spot making the woman she loved laugh and being the cause of her melodious laugh.

“How about you interrupt them instead of trying to glare a hole in his head?” She whipped her head as Bruce’s voice broke her thoughts, though your laugh could still be heard in her ear. “Why would I do that Bruce?” Natasha asked acting as if her hatred of the new man was not obvious.

“Well if you don’t go over there soon, I’m pretty sure he’s gonna be taking her home” Tony added in watching the scene himself bored as Pepper had left earlier. Natasha just continued to watch ignoring the two men who noticed their advice was not going through walked away to conversations that would prove more fruitful.

As she continued to watch the spectacle she refused to step into and stop she watched as the man stood pulling (Y/N) with him to whisper in her ear another joke that had her giggle like a child. She watched as he pulled you further from the room towards the elevators holding hands as they waited for the elevator to arrive.

Natasha waited for what felt like hours before getting up slowly and following the little couple to their stop. She watched as he leered over her, her body pushed against the wall looking up at him in a way Natasha would give her life to be looked at by her. She stood near hidden by a wall as she saw them enter the elevator and disappear behind the door.

Only she could hurt her like this.

#natasha romanoff fluff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff angst #the avengers #avengers #natasharomanoff

[herospark18]

YALL HELP ME I NEED ANGSTY BLACKHILL FANFIC RECOMMENDATIONS PLEASE

PLEASE YAP TO ME ANYTHING BLACKHILL YALL HAVE

#blackhill #natasharomanoff #mariahill #natasharomanoff/mariahill #maria hill/natasha romanov #natasha romanoff #maria hill #fanfic #fanfiction #fanfiction recommendations #help #angst #smut #marvel #avengers #ships

[marvels-bitch-boy]

hey i’m the anon that requested “nat’s boy” the one about the friends episodes & i just want to say that it turned out perfectly dw!! i love everything about it and u also did the bit of angst really good too :) i’m so happy it’s gonna have a 2. part bc honestly it could be a great little series even! anyway i love it <3 thanks for writing it!!

So...You've all been asking, and begging for PART 2!!!!

welll.....it just so happens that I have finished it! Here you go!

Masterlist , Part 1

Nat's Boy Part 2:

A/N: so sorry for this taking so long! but I had a lot on my plate with college decisions and then moving halfway across the country. But I was able to finish it! I'm sorry it's so short but please know I did what I could!

Word count: 943

You arrived back at your apartment to see the fiery redhead from before laying peacefully on the couch with a thin blanket covering her. Even though she presumably arrived later than her usual time you had decided to catch dinner with a few interns from the Stark industries college reach-out programs with Pepper and Tony accompanying you. You knew that Natasha would have waited up for you but you figured she would have eventually gone back to your shared bed. You supposed that tonight however it must have felt barren and too spacious even for her. 

You sighed as you took your shoes off and quietly set your keys and bag down before making your way over to the couch. You contemplated lifting her up and carrying her to the bed like you usually would but the fight from earlier echoed in your head. You thought back to the first time you met. How she had smiled at you, you thought it had been one of the most beautiful and genuine smiles you had ever seen. You started to question her words to you. Her actions. 

Shaking your head you attempted to knock the doubt out of your brain. You wanted to trust her and you wanted to believe that she loved you the way you loved her but the thoughts seemed to linger. They whispered as you went to your shared room and got changed, they whispered as you went to the bathroom and did your nightly routine. They whispered as you climbed into the empty bed and felt the cold encase you as you stared at the ceiling. They continued as you got out of bed and made your way back to the couch in the dark of the night. The thoughts were screaming at you as you picked Natasha up and carried her bridal style back to the empty bed. Once you set her down and saw her melt into the bed the whispers faded into the background. The second you felt her arm gently lay over you and her face snuggle into your shoulder ever so lightly the whispers stopped. There was silence. You let the calm silence lull you to sleep as the red-heads breathing seemed to match your own. 

—

 You woke up before her, for the first time since you two had moved in together you were the one who was up and was watching the city come alive. You made your way out of the bed carefully, you didn’t want to wake her for a number of reasons. One was that you didn’t know what to say after the fight the day before. You didn’t know if she wanted to talk to you about what you both said. You didn’t know if she wanted to ignore the issue and pretend as if it never happened. So. You just got up and went along with your morning without waking up the woman in question. 

As you were in the kitchen making your morning cup of coffee, you could hear the footsteps coming down the small hallway. You knew what was coming and it terrified you. You didn’t dare turn around and face the being the steps belonged to. After feeling arms wrap around your waist you froze for a moment and your mind went blank. It was like a void took over your brain. You know what you see when a plane flies through a cloud?... yeah that’s what your mind felt like. Suddenly your hand was scalding hot and you yelped out in pain. Natasha broke away from you and quickly turned on the sink as you thrust your hand under the water. It only took a few minutes for her to clean up the mess and for you to place burn cream on your coffeed hand. She bandaged it up and then gave you a soft hug. You didn’t return it though. She slinked off of you and took your head in her hands. “I’m sorry…” she looked deep into your eyes and was waiting for a response. You attempted to hold your ground but looking deep into her eyes you were stuck. “I am too, I’m sorry I’ve been making you feel this way without even knowing.” you release a sigh and continue “I feel so stupid, I mean of course these things would effect you”. Natasha rubbed your cheeks with her thumbs “You don’t have anything to be sorry for, I’m the one who decided to be jealous, I didn’t trust you and I was wrong for that…” she took a deep breath “And I’m sorry for making you feel like I only wanted to get into bed with you, I swear I didn’t!”. You let her words hang in the air for a moment before you took her hand in your good one. “I know… I’ve been hurt before and-and well I just- I couldn’t believe that you of all people I let in did that…It made me feel stupid”. You’re both staring into each others eyes, tears pooling in the corners of them. 

“I love you, and you are one of the smartest man I know. You are so kind and you only think of others. I would never want to hurt you.” She looked at you with hope in her eyes. You planted a soft kiss on her forehead and spoke up “I know you wouldn’t. I know because I love you too” The words that you both were too afraid of speaking to one another slipped out and you knew you couldn’t take them back. That wasn’t a problem though. You both knew you wouldn’t ever stop saying them.

tags: (let me know if you want to be added too general tags)

@diaryoflife

#male!reader x natasha romanoff #natasharomanoff #natasha romanoff #marvel #mcu #ftm reader #fanfiction #natasha romanoff angst #natasha romanoff fanfic #natasha romanoff fluff #natasha romanoff x ftm!reader #natasha romanoff x male reader #natasha romanoff x trans male reader #natasha romanoff x y/n #natasha romanoff xm!reader #natasha romanov x reader #natasha x male!reader #natasha x reader #natasha x y/n #natasha x trans!reader #natasha/male!reader #natashaxmale!reader #marvel fan fiction #black widow marvel

[lokiswifeduh]

Always

pairings: bucky x plus!size!fem!reader

summary: When you overhear agents being rude, you confront them, but it doesn't go to plan.

warnings: fatphobia, body dysmorphia, bullying, talk of suicide, suicidal ideation, attempted self-harm, depression, reassurance, angst, cursing, brock rumlow (yes that's a warning) some fluff at the end.

A/n: This is based on something someone had said to me a couple years back. Even though It's been a while, it repeatedly rings in my head when my mental health gets low. If you get triggered by topics like this please tread carefully or choose not to read! I'm always here to talk <3

"Hey! You wanna watch a movie?" Peter shouts as he swings by and lands on the couch. You shook your head, "Maybe later. I'm going to train with Natasha." Looking up, you saw his webs that had stuck to the ceiling. "You know Stark will step on you like an actual spider if you leave those hanging around again."

His eyes went wide as he flung himself up to the compound ceiling, somehow making even more mess.

You laughed, grabbing a water bottle and making your way down to the gym. You had asked Natasha to give you some extra training since feeling a little rusty on the last mission. She was a cardio addict so of course, there was no hesitation from her to say no.

But before you could turn the corner far off giggling and laughing echoed through the halls. You would usually walk right past but you knew that laugh. Agent Rumlow. And the attention-seeking agents he always entertained. Now you weren't one to put other people down or body shame in any way. After years of going through it, you would never put someone else through it. But these girls were a whole other level of mean. They were the top agents of the academy, always sucking up to their instructors that weren't a part of the Avengers.

Sam and Steve never put up with their crap, and you stayed as far away from them as you could. But it was impossible not to run into them. The way to the gym was the same route as the entry-level agent's dormitory.

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you pushed yourself off the wall and almost around the corner. That was until you heard your name being said and retreated back.

"I heard Yn is taking up some extra gym time." One of the professional mean girls spoke, catching your attention.

"Oh yeah? More like extra gym space. She takes up half the room." You felt tears spring to your eyes yet blinked them away. One of the agents laughed, that stupid nasally giggle filling the hall. "Does she really think Bucky is with her because he likes her?" Your brows furrowed, hearing Brock chime in, "Maybe I should ask him what it's like to fuck a fat chick."

Your chest caved in as the tears ran down your cheeks. The lump in your throat felt like it was cutting off your oxygen and the way your vision blurred stung. Shaking your head, you wiped the tears and forced yourself to walk around the corner.

Brock's back was facing you but the two blonde agents saw the fury in your eyes. "Oh shit." One of them mumbled, making Brock turn around. "Oh look," He laughed, "It's the pig."

Before you knew it, your arm swung, and your fist planted itself right into Brock's nose. "What the fuck is your problem?!" You shouted, not even caring about the tears streaming down your face without bounds.

"Ah!" Brock grasped his now bleeding nose, rising to his feet as crimson dripped to the floor. "You fucking bitch!"

You let out a breathy laugh, "Well that made me feel better." Ignoring the throbbing pain in your knuckles, You pointed towards medbay, "You might want Bruce to check and make sure nothing is broken." You picked up your water bottle that had fallen, about to walk past him when he grabbed your arm.

"No, you know what I'm gonna do?" He whipped you back around, making you attempt to rip your arm from his menacing hold. He smirked, blood tinting his teeth.

"I'm just gonna go kill myself like you do when no one wants you."

Your forearm fell from his grip as he let you go, pushing you a foot or so back. Your smile was wiped from your face as you watched the three walk away laughing. It was like everything you had done to better yourself washed away within a second, just from one sentence.

All of the nights you spent practicing healthy coping skills, talking to your therapist, and venting to Bucky. Every single good task was masked with a deep hatred for yourself once again.

You dropped the water, forgetting your plans with Nat. Ignoring the shouts from Peter and Sam, you pressed the elevator, hurriedly stepping inside and making your way up to your room.

Finally closing the door, you fell to the ground, clutching your shirt as you cried. A cloud of impenetrable grief covered your mind, not even allowing one positive thought to enter.

Flashbacks shot through, making it feel like you were drowning. Every single time the mean girls at school would call you names. Or when the boys would ask you out only to not show up. Even when your own sister joined in on the so-called jokes.

Your harsh memories were a sea and the rough waves wouldn't let you up for a moment, not even to catch your breath.

Before you knew it, you were sitting on the toilet seat, rummaging through the familiar drawer you never told Bucky about. Flipping up the cardboard bottom, you pulled out the small blade, bringing it to your wrist. You wanted to end it, just like Brock had said.

Yet before you could press the cold metal down onto a visible blue vein, knocking sounded through the bathroom. "Doll?" Bucky.

You stayed quiet, silently sobbing as you rocked back and forth. "Sam said you rushed out crying." He tried again, knowing you were in there. "You didn't even show up for training with Natasha."

A cry slipped from your lips, making you cover your mouth with the hand that wasn't holding the blade.

"Doll? Why are you crying?"

You took a deep breath, wiping away the tears from your eyes, "I'm fine, Bucky." But the inevitable crack in your voice failed to hide the hesitation she had in her own words.

"No your not." The bathroom door handle jiggled as he tried to enter. "Let me in, doll." You shook your head as if he could see you. "I'm fine, Bucky. I'll be out in a couple minutes. "

But that wasn't good enough because in a second the knob was ripped from the wooden door and Bucky was looking at your cowering form. His eyes went from your tear-stained cheeks to your bloody knuckles, to the small knife you had pointed at your wrist.

"Oh my god." Bucky shakily breathed out, rushing over and ripping the blade from your hand. He threw it into the bathtub before you could even speak.

"Wait, Bucky I-" "It's okay, doll." He pulled your head into his chest making you instantly cling to his red henley. You both stayed there. He listened to you sob into him, repeating apologies over and over.

Eventually, Bucky pulled away, making the warmth from his chest disappear. You thought he was going to leave. After seeing what he walked into you wouldn't blame him. You gulped, rubbing your eyes roughly, "I understand if you wanna leave. I'm a mess."

You felt two hands cup your cheeks, forcing you to look down at Bucky as he sank to his knees before you. He shook his head, "I'm not mad, baby. And I'd never leave you." "Really?"

He nodded, moving to hold your wrists in his hands, "You don't have to talk about it. Whenever you are comfortable." You let another sob rip from your throat as you cried, mumbling the situation out to him in hurried breaths.

Bucky felt the rage overfilling but kept his composure so he wouldn't spook you even more.

"They walked away laughing and I came up here." You gestured to the unused blade in the porcelain tub, "It was my first instinct."

Bucky nodded, softly taking your jaw in his palm, making you nuzzle into him even more. "You are the most beautiful woman I've ever had the pleasure of meeting and loving. But that's not the only reason I love you." He shook his head, "You are smart, kind, and loving to your family and friends. You are amazing at cooking, and you have the most intimidating spit-fire personality I've ever met."

Your tears that were once sad turned into droplets of joy. "I will always want you. Always, doll." You sunk into his embrace, letting your forehead rest on his shoulder. "I love you, James."

"I love you, Y/n. Always."

#buckybarnes #bucky x reader #bucky x plus size reader #bucky x female reader #marvel #mcu #natasharomanoff #angst #hurt #hurt/comfort #plus size #body positive #samwilson #bucky angst #fanfic #marvel x reader #natasha romanoff #oneshot #sam wilson #brock rumlow #deppresion #mental heath support #mentalheathawareness #food mention #death mention #mental disorder #positive mental attitude #fluff #marvel angst #yelena belova

[moon3thereal]

lo and behold the return of a sleep deprived author

YALL I AM BACKK i know it’s been almost a year and most of you may not even remember me but a short recap, I’m Alina, that author who used to be crazily active here and posted quite a few fanfics but then started studying for exams and completely CRASHED. A little something about me, I’m currently writing a book called Weapons Most Beautiful, its just angry lesbians with some hurt/comfort, dumb jokes, badass women, its wonky but it’s my first real writing project so i still love it with all my heart! All that aside, I will be accepting requests from now on and I'll also be expanding the list of characters I write about (please let me know what characters you’d like to see me write). please do send it requests after reading my guidelines and talk to me if ur happy to see me back in the field of tumblr fiction! 

P.S. I am extra eager for requests for Lady Lesso from the school of good and evil <3

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff fanfic #natasha romanoff angst #natasharomanoff #natasha romanoff fluff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff fanfiction #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff fluff #wanda maximoff x reader #wandanat #wanda #valkyrie #marvel fanfic club #marvel fanfic idea #mcu x reader #mcu #marvel #black widow fanfiction #wanda maximoff fanfiction #fanfic #author #lady lesso

[starshades-grace]

Far Beyond That - Chapter 1 - starshades_grace - Marvel Cinematic Universe [Archive of Our Own]

Summary - "And here I thought the worst kind of parental problems were preventing your kids from sneaking out to parties... Not to stop fucking robberies under a mask as he sweeps from building to building."

 

Another one where Peter is Spiderman. Tony is overprotective. Steve is tired. And the Avengers are underattack.

---------------------------------------------------------

Chapter One

Peter Parker, foolishly enough, thought he knew grief.

Well, come on. He was abandoned by his parents when he was five; only to been informed an year later that they were killed in a plane crash. The difficulties of growing up without biological parents were often overshadowed by the love he got from his uncle and aunt. Another wave of grief hit him when the grim news of demise of his uncle and aunt in a car crash hit him at the young age of eight. The cycle of being shifted between foster homes and orphanages settled in his life way too nicely before he was adopted by his Dads.

Being the adopted son of a gay couple-that too of the world's mightiest heroes-was, to say the least, not necessarily normal. While he built friendships cause of it, he lost a lot of them. Don't get him wrong; he loved his parents and his life but betrayal by fellow peers was something he had grown used to. His whole life story would have paved the way for one hell of a great depressing movie.

In some sick way, he had thought, it must have grown to hurt less with every loss, right?

Wrong.

Because as he watched Tony Stark resting against the rock mass, muttering his last words, he felt a pain he had never felt before. It pushed him down under the water as the wave ran over him again. And again. And again. Someone might as well just push a knife into his abdomen over and over. Even that, might have felt better.

"We won, Dad," He muttered, looking in his red bloodshot eyes, "Please. We won. You did it." His trembling hands clutched at his listless wrists, the black sleeves of shirt damp against his palms. The infamous suit hadn't been there to protect his father as he laid there, covered in sweat and scars and--.

In Blood.

There was so much of it.

Peter felt sick.

He felt someone hold him by his shoulders. Who was it? Rhodey? Steve? His mouth opened at once to protest but a strangled sob escaped his throat. He saw Steve kneel in front of him and amongst the chaos, he heard Tony whisper, "Hey, America's ass." His voice sounded nothing like him. This wasn't him. No. God, no. Tony was larger than life itself. He wasn't dying. He couldn't. Why wasn't anyone helping him?

"Tony, no-," The pain in his Pops' voice made the situation too real for him. 

He stepped forward to protest, to get him to medics, to do something but someone was holding him by his shoulders, muttering something about how Peter was hurt, how they had the situation in control, how--. Peter couldn't be bothered to give a shit.

"Just stay with me, okay?" Steve said as he hurried to wrap a cloth around the wound on his thigh. It didn't matter, there were too many of them. "Stark, you fucking better not die." Peter saw his shoulders shake and he knew that there was the world's bravest soldier Captain America, dressed in his suit, at the floor of a damaged building, crying as he begged his husband to stay alive. "Stay awake, goddammit."

Was Peter crying too? His face felt wet. It felt like the wave that had been holding him down clutched him in its grips and water had filled his lungs. There was a painful sting in his throat and he felt like puking. Time felt like a thick jelly as it slowed down. As he could do nothing but stare as his father laid there dying in front of him. He could do nothing but watch as life seemed to slowly escape his body. He could do nothing as he lost him. He could do nothing as he stared at his helpless father beside his dying one.

"Tony, please."

Iron Man saved the world once again and, somewhere along that, Peter Parker lost a huge part of his.

Three Months Ago

Tock.

Tick.

Tick

Tock.

Isaac Petrov sighed, fidgeting with the tweed sleeves of the black coat that hugged his slim figure perfectly around the waist. This is stupid. He thought for the umpteenth time before glancing at his reflection in the mirror. His hazel green eyes looked fantastically frustrated and the buzz cut he supported didn't really give a charmful look. Especially not with the scar that ran along the right side of his neck. He flinched involuntarily at the mark, tugging his white collar up to hide it.

Tick.

Tock.

Stupid. So fucking dramatic and unnecessary and stupid. He clenched his jaw, biting his tongue in hope of not letting the wrong thing out. They had a plan; they were supposed to stick to it. Not do last minute shenanigans just to attract some useless attention.

Tick.

Tock.

The forty-three year old couldn't stop fidgeting with his collar for the sake of it as his eyes looked over the hotel room once. It was dimly lit; the yellowish lights hung from the ceiling, not really working properly. The dirty white painting the walls looked ugly and was begging to be repainted with the plaster coming off from almost every corner of the room. The single bed in the room supported white sheets that still had marks that couldn't be unnoticed, no matter how many times it was washed. It looked like any other cheap shitty hotel in New York. Nothing uncommon, nothing eye-catching. Cause that's what they were supposed to do. Not this.

Tick.

Tock.

"You might wanna put a smile on that face. We are going to a gala, for God's sake," She muttered, her scottish accent seeping through her fake one, over the annoying ticking of the loud clock.

Isaac released a slow sigh, turning to look at his companion who was just strapping her heels. Catriona Alinsky. Her dark brown hair were up in a stylish side bun which paired perfectly with the dark-red lipstick on her full lips. The complicated yet elegant black dress looked a bit out of chaacter to him, yet very attractive and classy. Her dark brown eyes held that very child-like almost disturbing excitement he saw whenever she was going to do something different, something wrong, something - dare he say it - sinister.

He tried to keep his annoyance at bay but his tone came clipped out when he said, glancing away from her, "This isn't necessary."

She grinned, all her perfectly white teeth visible before she said, "Of course, it isn't." God, he kinda hated that smile; it looked disturbing. "But we will do it."

"That's not the plan!" He snapped, his fists clenching at his sides, "We made a plan and we are supposed to stick to it. We have been planning this for years, ради Бога. A dramatic start-off just for the sake of it is not necessary!"

He almost wished he hadn't said it. The displeased look was painted very clearly on her face as she got up from the edge of the bed and walked towards him in a straight line, her magnificent dress doing justice. The loud clicking of her pencil heels in the silent room made him feel a sick fear in his lower gut, all of a sudden but he ignored it, keeping the angry facade on as she stopped in front of him.

"Кто не рискует, тот не пьет шампанского," She spoke slowly in his mother-tongue, making his nostrils flair in anger. He still wasn't sure how many languages she knew. She said, her eyes locked into his, "I am not a fan of calm before storm. Call me dramatic, if you may. As for the plan," A small tight smile painted her lips, "It's in motion and will turn out just all right. I am the one who has been planning this for years. So, it would do you real good to sit tight and just do as I say. We don't want us to have a fall out now, do we?"

The underlying threat didn't go unnoticed by him as she backed off a few inches. He could breath a bit easier now. The dangerous glint in her eyes was clear in her voice as she continued, "They don't deserve a false sense of security. Let them be scared and confused and lost. And then, we will hit them. Even though, they would have their guide high, we would hit them and they would fall."

She smirked, her eyes lost somewhere ahead. "They would wonder where they went wrong, what more they could have done. Let a man do all the perfect things that he should do and then, snatch his world from him. That's what kills people, Isaac."

He released a breath he didn't know he had been holding underneath her stern gaze as he processed her words. If he was a good man, he would think they were being cruel. But he wasn't a good man. After all, he was the one who came up with the idea for the final phase for their plan - how they could use him to get to them. Her words made sense and he almost felt himself resonating her excitement. Yet, the risk felt too unnecessary. He shook the feeling off and nodded curtly.

Her giddy, smiling demeanor was back up in no time as she turned on her heels, looking over her hair once, "Earth's mightiest heroes and can't even take care of the hotel security right." He almost spoke up to say that he was the one who came up with the fake stories but resisted.

Isaac Petrov met Catriona Alinsky like he usually met his other alliances - some under the table business, some shady alleyway deal, some bar drinks slid over the counter. He remembered it clearly even though it had been seven years ago. The way she screamed dominance and control and yet, her posture remained poised and smiling. They had found a common goal - a common enemy - and worked for it together. Together. Huh. The word felt funny in his mouth cause he knew they were never on the same level. He still felt like a pawn in a game that was played by both but was hers to begin and end with.

All those years ago, when he had met her for the first time, her eyes held that weird glint that made his skin crawl. He had never been able to place what it actually was. But now he knew what that had meant. He knew what Catriona Alinsky was and it was best described in one word.

Dangerous.

Catriona Alinsky's voice held that same agitating and dangerous excitement as she said, "Put your best shoes on, Isaac. It's a Gala of the lifetime, after all."

(Read more on AO3)

#books #writing #original writing #steve x tony #steve rogers #tony stark #stonyshipper #stony fanfiction #stony angst #spiderman #peter parker #superfamily #dad tony stark #dad steve rogers #original villain #avengers #fanfiction #ao3 fanfic #buckynat #natasharomanoff

[unnameablewriter]

#TonyStark #IronMan #Marvel #PeterParker #SpiderMan #MarvelSeries #TomHolland #RobertDownyJr #UnnameableWriter #FanFiction #Avengers #MarvelCinematicUniverse #IronDad #FatherSon #SuperFamily #Hurt/Comfort #Whump #Angst #FatherFigure #SpiderSon #IronSpider #Comfort #Fluff #FamilyFeels #Care #ParkerStark #Tony has a heart #MorganStark #PepprPotts #PepperStark #BruceBanner #SteveRodgers #CaptainAmerica #NatashaRomanoff #BlackWidow #Thor #Loki #StevenStrange #DrStrange #JamesRhodes #WarMachine #Hulk #HappyHogan #MayParker #AuntMay

[smalls-words]

Peaceful Quiet

Summary: Within the chaos of the world, Natasha and Wanda find peace with your quiet self.

Pairings: ScarletWidow x Fem!Barton!Reader

Genre: Fluff and Angst

Warnings: Guns (no actual use), sweet tooth-rotting fluff at the end.

Requested: YES/no

Words: 3,894

A/N: These girls do not have a lot of smiling gifs :(

*not my gifs*

The mission hadn’t gone too well - Hulk had gotten out of control and both Natasha and Wanda weren’t close enough to subdue him. The redhead had a few bumps and bruises whilst the brunette had barely anything thanks to her powers. 

They were all slumped over in the Quinjet, beyond the point of exhaustion, before a call came through. 

“Hey big bro, where you at? Tiny devils wanna know when you’re coming for dinner.” 

Immediately, all of them turned to the pilot seat that Clint sat in, smiling at your contact with a photo containing the two of you at the beach.

“Hey, sis, I’ll be home in a few hours since I gotta stop over at the compound. How are they?”

“Chilling. Making me an aunt is the best thing you’ve done for me.” 

“What, like saving you from Iran wasn’t?” 

“Ye-up.” 

Clint laughed, feeling a particularly strong presence of two pairs of eyes before an idea popped into his mind. “Listen, I was actually thinking of coming now.” 

“But… aren’t you on a mission?” 

“Yes.”

Your voice didn’t crackle through for a few seconds. “Hurry up.” 

You hung up and Clint disconnected his phone from the Quinjet, plugging in his address whilst he turned around to face his best friend and her girlfriend. 

“Who was that?” They asked in unison.

“My sister, Y/N.” He explained, getting ready for the landing as he found his jacket.

“Barton, you have a sister?” Natasha scoffed. 

“She never came up in discussion.” He shrugged.

Natasha and Wanda looked at each other with concern, wanting to know everything about you as soon as possible. When the jet landed, Wanda helped Natasha walk to the door before it was opened by Laura. 

“Hey guys.” The woman greeted before Clint swept her up and kissed her softly.

“Hi, honey. Where’s Y/N?” 

She looked like she was waiting for something before that something came as shrieking laughter from the back garden. “Out there.” She grinned, watching Clint’s childish side come out.

“Look what the cat dragged in!” You quipped, watching him charge towards you like you did when you were children.

He tackled you and you rolled with him down the hill, blocking and dodging his strikes whilst you jabbed him in pressure points, eventually standing with him splayed out on the floor.

“I win.” You smirked, helping him back up.

“I let you win.” He grumbled before hugging you tightly.

“It’s good to see you, Y/N. How’s everything?” 

“Great. Love going to therapy. Pretty sure Michelle hates getting those late night messages-”

You cut yourself off as your eyes drifted to the two beautiful women leaning on the porch railing, their smirks on their faces indicating that they saw your sibling antics and were more than amused.

You brought your brother towards you. “You know what’s going to happen.”

“You’ll be okay.” He murmured, kissing your temple before he led you back up to the house.

“Guys, this is Y/N, my sister. Y/N, this is Steve, Sam, Scott, Vision, Wanda and Natasha.”

You nodded your head to them all and they were confused at your sudden change in nature. Maybe it was nerves, maybe they were somewhat intimidating, but something was off. However, when the kids came rushing back in, you smirked and picked Nathaniel up by his collar.

You winked at him, throwing him over your shoulder as you went into the kitchen for a drink. You poured the kids some cups of water and waited for them to drink it all, stacking the cups in the dishwasher before you heard a voice behind you.

“So, Y/N, right?”

You briefly looked over your shoulder to see Natasha and Wanda sitting down, nodding in response to her question.

“How come Clint’s never told us about you?” Wanda asked.

You shrugged, still stacking the dishwasher until you couldn’t find anything else. However, Nathaniel and Lila came back for a biscuit and you gave them a raised eyebrow.

“Mom said we could! And to bring her one too!” Nathaniel begged, making you grin before you gave them their biscuits.

“Y/N! Can you turn the pot off please?! It’s almost done!” Laura called through the house, showing the rest of the team where they would be sleeping. 

You turned the stove off beneath the pot and stirred it lightly, looking back up in a confused manner as Wanda and Natasha were still there. You cocked your head to the side and they did the same, making your eyebrows furrow before theirs did as well.

“Auntie Y/N, Mom says I have to come and help you make dinner.” Cooper stated as he walked in, making you smile and nod.

“Hey, Auntie Nat.” 

“Hey, kiddo.” She smiled at him.

“How was the mission?” He asked, chopping up the vegetables you would soon put in the stew.

“It was good - got a few bumps and bruises, but they’ll heal with time.” 

He beamed at her and she looked at you, confused since you hadn’t said a word in her presence. However, you went to the corner of the kitchen and rang the bell, the loud and clear note echoing throughout the household. 

Immediately, a thunderstorm of boots came rushing towards the kitchen, making Wanda’s hands glow before she recognised the boys. 

“Where’s Vision?” She asked, unable to feel him.

“In stasis mode. Let’s eat!” Clint declared, helping you serve the bowls whilst the kids set the table. 

You sighed happily as you sat down in your chair, between Laura and Lila, and licked your thumb before brushing some dirt off of Lila’s face. 

“Stop, Auntie Y/N.” She grumbled, pushing your hand away but you had gotten all of it, evident in your chuckle.

“So, what were you guys up to that made Clint have to do an emergency landing here?” Laura asked, noticing how you held a small teddy between your legs that was hidden from prying eyes.

“Mission. Bruce…” Natasha sighed. “Bruce got hit badly. Hulk came out and destroyed quite a bit of stuff.” 

You lifted your head as the sad tone came through her words, looking up at your brother before you made a gesture he recognised.

“Yeah, he killed some people.” 

Natasha and Wanda’s eyes shot to you and you immediately began eating again whilst a damning red blush dotted across your face.

“Auntie Y/N, why you not talkin’?” Nathaniel tapped your leg from underneath the table.

“Nate, not now.” Lila scolded him before Laura placed her hand on top of yours and you nodded.

“Y/N has selective mutism. She can’t control it, so all of you watch it.” She looked at each Avenger excluding her husband and they nodded.

“But how did Clint just understand her?” Wanda kept her eyes on Laura, both wanting and not wanting to see you blush, even if it meant you were getting anxious, which she could feel.

“Y/N knows sign language.” Laura responded calmly, rubbing her thumb on the top of your hand before she continued to eat.

Conversation came around easily whilst you sat quietly in your chair, soon holding a sleeping Lila as the night dragged on. You watched as Cooper finally yawned before you decided to put them all to bed, nodding to your brother as an offer that he declined. 

You adjusted Lila onto your hip whilst carrying Nathaniel on the other, taking them upstairs to their rooms before you kissed their foreheads and bid them goodnight. You closed their doors and turned around, your smile instantly turning bashful as the two Avengers stood in front of you.

Laura had called bedtime just after you left, leaving the Avengers to prepare for the night before they would leave in the morning. 

“Um… we’re bunking with you.” Natasha muttered, noticing your eyes widen briefly before you gestured for them to follow you.

You led them back outside the house, through the cold of the night, before they came to a smaller cottage on the edge of the Barton residence. You placed your thumb on the keypad lock and waited patiently for it to scan.

“Welcome, Agent 15.” The computer stated, the house shifting inside before you opened the door.

Inside was an impressively set-out cottage, built with a dark-designed kitchen and a small dining room whilst 3 rooms were located upstairs. The two Avengers watched as you signed blankly to the room before moving around the cottage.

“Agent 15 would like you to know that your room, or rooms if you’d like to sleep separately, is upstairs and to the right.” A robotic voice spoke from around Wanda and Natasha, making them chuckle.

“So, you’re a SHIELD agent?” Natasha asked and watched you teeter your head from side to side.

“Agent 15 is a retired veteran, who was recruited to the Technical Division of SHIELD. Development of weapons, with a speciality in target weapons like Agent Barton’s, is her department.” 

You smiled softly, both girls catching it, as you finalised the couch area and walked upstairs, to which the both of them followed you. You tapped twice on a door and they looked briefly inside, seeing a room laid out neatly for them whilst you went down to the end of the hallway and tapped again.

Their heads popped out of their room to see the bathroom, fit with a shower, bath and vanity whilst you entered your room. They quickly peeked inside, seeing shelves of books, photos and medals whilst the darkness of the night hid most other things. 

They saw flickers of movement before the voice came back. “Agent 15 will be going to sleep. She states that you are welcome to shower, have something else to eat if you are still hungry, and you may sleep anywhere you are comfortable.” 

You closed the door quickly before you leaned against it and let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. The entire time you were mute, you couldn’t stop thinking about how beautiful they were - you had heard of Natasha through Clint, but when he recruited and trained her you were in Afghanistan, so you never crossed paths. 

And Wanda? You’d heard of her from both of the Barton adults as someone who had lost a lot, gaining something by being with Natasha. The two seemed to ground each other, something you had never grasped in your previous relationships. 

You lay down in your bed and sighed against the soft mattress, pulling the sheets over your body before you fell asleep. 

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When the next morning came, you rose slowly to find a loud commotion coming from outside, pulling your phone out to see Clint trying to call you.

“Yeah?” You grumbled.

“GET OUT OF YOUR HOUSE!” He roared, making you throw your phone in the air.

“What?!” 

“THERE’S AGENTS SURROUNDING YOUR HOUSE!” 

You opened your security feed and saw that indeed, there were agents surrounding your house, all armed and very dangerous. You recognised some of them, sighing annoyingly as you stormed out of the room and down the stairs.

“House, load up.”

You smirked as alarmed sounds came from outside before a voice you recognised growled through.

“Y/N, what the fuck do you think you’re doing?” 

You face-palmed yourself and opened the door, waving annoyingly at your house before the guns folded away. 

“That’s better.” Fury grumbled, handing you a folder.

“You’re being reassigned.”

You opened it and looked back up at him in annoyance, dark bags under your eyes from the countless nights of no sleep coupled with the thoughts of strangling Nick for waking you up so early.

You smirked as Clint was calling you once more. You answered it and immediately put it on speaker, holding it out towards Fury. 

“Barton, calm down.” He said abruptly and you snickered, not noticing the duo that had come down from all the ruckus.

“Chill out, big bro. It’s just Fury and his idiots.” 

Natasha felt a shiver travel down her spine from the sound of your voice, silently wishing you were talking to her.

“So a false alarm? I can bring the kids back inside?” 

“Yes, idiot. But I’d stay awake because I might strangle Fury for waking me up at 10:30 in the morning.” You glared at your superior and he rolled his eyes.

“Barton, you’re getting another guest at home base.”

⧖⧖⧖⧖⧖⧖⧖⧖⧖⧖⧖🜃🜂🜁🜄⧖⧖⧖⧖⧖⧖⧖⧖⧖⧖⧖⧖

After taking three weeks to fully transfer to the Avengers Division, you finally had a full night of sleep. You had noticed how Natasha and Wanda were always around you, and sometimes you would turn to see them simply standing and watching you, which you thought was a little creepy at first. 

However, you realised that the more you were around them, the easier it felt to break down the barrier of your mutism. You had been stealing glances at them whenever you could, their eyes almost always on you and ready to listen to whatever you had to say. 

You couldn’t help but feel like you were falling for them.

It was stupid though. Why would you? You could see how happy they were in their relationship. The two of them cuddled up on the couch whilst having meals, holding one another when nightmares plagued the compound, and even going as far as making each other tea.

It was the only thing Natasha couldn’t screw up.

But they had noticed you in a light you never thought possible. It wasn’t just a coincidence that there was a mug of tea on the counter at 2:44 am, nor was it one of theirs that they had forgotten - it was yours. And the blankets they’d put on top of you as you fell asleep whilst a movie played? They made sure they smelled like them.

The stolen glances didn’t go unnoticed, the longer and longer hugs weren’t missed. Natasha had even started jotting down what you did every day with them, looking at it whenever she or Wanda or even both of them felt sad. When they thought of you, their bad days turned good, and simply being with you made them happy.

But still, they had yet to hear your voice speak to them.

They had learnt basic sign language from Clint and could hold a conversation with you if you signed slowly. They had gotten better, but seeing your happy face whenever they got a sentence together was all worth it.

It had been decided that a girls night out was needed since the boys had disturbed your movie night’s peace last night with a prank. Natasha had planned it out to a T and was ready, waiting at the door for you and Wanda.

You both came down and followed her to the car, your eyes wandering to the fields of cows, horses and sheep that you passed until you got further into the city. The sunset was beautiful and you admired it as the light danced across the duo’s faces.

It was too bright to see how they were admiring yours too.

When you reached a barren road, you immediately tensed up and held tightly onto your belt. You don’t know why, but having a belt in stressful times was much easier than carrying around a gun as it gave you the feeling you needed to ground yourself.

Natasha rolled up to a small station, her voice too far away for you to register any of her words before she scanned something and drove through the gate. She trundled around and your eyes landed on a large white screen, larger than any billboard you’d seen. 

Wanda and Natasha had surprised you with a drive-in movie.

You followed them as you went to the restaurant, grabbing popcorn, snacks and drinks before you huddled up in the car. Natasha had planned strategically, taking Tony’s smallest ‘big car’ so that she could be close to both you and Wanda, the size only fitting if you were all shoulder-to-shoulder. 

She had also planned something else - it was a horror movie, which you had made abundantly clear that you didn’t like whatsoever.

“Y/N, you comfy?” She asked you and you nodded, watching the movie about to start.

The speaker in Wanda’s hands glowed softly before the movie’s sound played through it, hanging it above the three of you. You watched the intro play and ate your snacks whilst Wanda and Natasha looked at each other.

“Y/N, can you pass me my phone? It should be by my feet.” Natasha asked and you nodded, digging through the mound of blankets until you found it.

Natasha hadn’t been expecting it to be that easy for you, wanting to hear your voice ask where it was. 

She looked over at Wanda and nodded to let her know to move to Plan B - about halfway through the movie, Wanda put a dastardly seed of a thought in your mind about the movie and it instantly made you scared, scrunching up into a ball beneath your blanket.

“Aw, malen’kiy (little one), don’t be scared. Wanda and I will protect you from those sound-hunting aliens.” Natasha cooed, pulling your back flush against her chest.

Wanda’s smirk let the redhead know that you were blushing, hard, and Phase Two was ready. Wanda whimpered softly as a gunshot rang out, feeling your mind race before it locked onto a thought.

You pulled Wanda against you and began to stroke her hair, just like Natasha did for her, and she sighed above the silence of the movie. You smiled softly, gulping down the lump in your throat as you turned back to see another jump-scare come your way.

You instantly wriggled between them and they soon became concerned when they felt parts of the blanket get wet by their cheeks, pulling it away to see you crying softly.

“Oh, Y/N/N… honey, it’s just a movie.” Natasha chuckled kindly, cupping your cheek in her hand as she stroked it.

She could see you trying to talk but nothing came out, a finger coming to rest on your lips from Wanda. “Frumoasă (Beautiful)… take it slow.” 

You took a deep breath, then another and another, before you felt the lump in your throat disappear. “This wasn’t how I wanted this night to go.” You muttered, covering your ears as a shriek from the monster rang out in the car.

With a flick of Wanda’s wrist, the speaker turned off, leaving the car in silence. “Honey, do you want to say that again? What do you mean?” 

“I…” You sighed, running your fingers through your hair.

“Look at her, Wands, she’s nervous.” Natasha teased lightly, making you blush as she took your jaw in hand.

“Imagine how she’d react if we knew just how long she’d been planning to talk to us.”

They didn’t have to - your eyes widened and you looked between them both, shocked. “You knew?!” 

They both chuckled before Wanda smoothened out a tear still resting on your cheek. “You really took us for fools? A mind-reader and a trained assassin? Y/N/N, you may also be a spy, but you are not very good at hiding your feelings or your mind.” 

You blushed under Wanda’s words before Natasha turned your head to her. “Is somebody speechless? And I was just getting used to that beautiful tone.” 

You hid your face beneath your blankets, but now it was for a very different reason. You heard their teasing laughter and pulled your blanket down, noticing their eyes were still on you.

“Whilst we do know every little detail you were planning - taking us to Wanda’s favourite Sokovian shop before going to a performance of Swan Lake - we would like to hear those words you had practised for hours in your bathroom next to ours.” Natasha grinned, tracing the bottom of your jaw.

You took a deep breath and sighed slowly. “I like you both a lot, more than what a friend should. I never want to disturb your relationship, and I can’t help my emotions, but I would like to be your girlfriend.”

You shocked yourself at how much you got out. Whilst practising, you have never managed to make it across the finish line, but here you were. 

And here your lips were kissed by both a Russian superspy and a Sokovian witch, tasting like chocolate-covered strawberries since they had shared that delicacy. As you pulled away from Wanda, you watched her lick her lips and grin.

“So, detka (baby), does that answer every question that’s been pending in that mind of yours?”

You nodded, feeling that annoying little bulge form in your throat again. Natasha shushed you softly as more tears began to burst through the dam, brushing some wet strands of hair out of your face.

“We have a solution, baby girl. Wands, show her your magic trick.” She looked back at the witch before you were mesmerised by the magic that flitted through her fingers.

“You’ll feel a little pinch, honey, but that’s it, okay?” She murmured, bringing your lips to hers whilst her fingers hovered at your temple. 

You slowly felt the small pinch develop in your mind before it dissipated. To your left, you saw a soft orange string stretch into the distance, whilst on your right, a swirling red string fell in the opposite direction. 

Soon, you saw Natasha and Wanda, both in the clothing they wore physically, holding onto the strings that were attached at your hips.

*It’s so peaceful in here.* Natasha chuckled.

*It’s a peaceful quiet, isn’t it, baby?* Wanda asked you, kissing your cheek softly.

*Mhmm.* You responded, gasping at how easy it was.

*I can talk to you like this?* 

“Yes, baby girl, you can.” Natasha’s voice echoed outside of her mind and you shook your head into focus, watching Wanda’s fingers retreat from your temple. 

“You gotta be all in, honey, because that is not going away for a long time.” She warned you and you nodded.

“I… I promise.” You stuttered, feeling pride in yourself that echoed from Natasha and Wanda’s mind.

“Now, shall we stay and chat or shall we go back home?” The Widow offered you and you thought for a moment.

“Stay. No boys.” You smirked, watching them grin before they held you close and continued to talk about anything and everything.

You felt yourself drifting off to sleep by the sounds of their hushed voices, closing your eyes as you rested your head on Natasha’s arm. She smirked as your breathing evened out and lightly kissed your neck, to which Wanda matched by kissing your nose.

“She’s too cute, Tasha. If it wasn’t for my meltdown, we never would have found out.” Wanda chuckled, but Natasha’s eyebrow quirked up.

“You mean you never would have found out. I knew from about two weeks in.”

Wanda gave her a dramatic but soft gasp before she sulked, burying her head into your neck. She kissed the skin of your neck softly until she felt her locks being pushed away by nimble fingers.

“Don’t worry, malyshka (baby girl), Wanda is an oblivious idiot in love. Whilst I am the same, I’m not oblivious.” Natasha whispered to your sleeping form. 

“But you are an idiot.” Wanda gave her a short glare before she too, fell asleep, leaving Natasha to ask FRIDAY to take them home as she closed her eyes.

#smalls-words #wandamaximoffimagine #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x fem!reader #wanda maximoff fluff #wanda maximoff angst #natasharomanoffimagine #natasharomanoff x reader #natasharomanoff fluff #natasharomanoff angst #natasharomanoff #natasha romanoff x fem!reader

[romanoffsbish]

Lessons Learned

Natasha Romanoff x FemWife!Reader

Maria Hill x Sister!Reader

Maria Hill x Carol Danvers

Unwelcome Surprise (Part 1)

Warnings‼️:

Jesus Christ, prepare yourself for a potentially broken heart, but a happy ending is promised ❤️

90% of this is Natasha unpacking her trauma, and being resistant to the feelings.

Murder, Violence, Trauma, Childhood innocence lost, feelings of inadequacy, possibly more (please let me know 🤷🏼‍♀️)

10k+ words ; Angsty with a happy ending, reader focused on herself and Nat's definitely put in the work as requested which is why it ended up being so long 😂.

Enjoy Part 3/4 of the Part 2 party palooza❤️

——————————————————————

One week, seven days, 10,080 minutes, and she didn't even want to consider the seconds.

If you were to ask the woman what was harder: "Single" Parenting or Avenging, she'd answer you before you could even mutter the second option. After now having dealt with a distraught toddler, and the six year old that's apparently going on sixteen she's absolutely besides herself.

You've barely said but three words to her since walking out on her the night of the party. Whenever you do call it's something along the lines of "Where're the kids," then you'd let Mason talk your ear off before sighing heavily as Lily says hardly a word before you're hanging up, leaving Natasha to deal with the even sadder toddler, and the brooding child.

When she'd arrived to Laura's without you, looking distraught herself she was met with an apologetic smile, then passed a crying toddler. Mason pulled his thumb from his mouth so that he could wrap his arms tightly around his mothers neck, then continued to lightly sob until he eventually cried himself to sleep. In contrast, Lily had greeted her with a beaming smile, and a hug that nearly toppled her over.

————

Natasha was currently drowning in a bottle of whiskey, kids finally down for the night, left wondering how in the hell everything had managed to get this bad. One day you're like giddy teenagers—crazy in love, the next you're fighting like those high school sweethearts who were bound by unwavering resentment and the accidents created in their early twenties.

The family she so desperately yearned for, then somehow against all the odds forged, is now broken, and she's fearful it's irreparably so. With no one else to blame but herself she can do no more than to wallow in her self pity. However, with the kids present she only has time to do so during the hours of 10pm to 2am, before she crashes on the couch—refusing to lay in the bed without you—for a measly four hours before the nightmare starts all over again at 6am.

——

You had spent that first night in the arms of your sister, crying all the tears you'd thought had already ran their course, but apparently that just wasn't the case.

"Let it all out little one."

"I'm not little." You'd grumbled through your pitiful sobs, feeling the way your sisters chest vibrated from beneath you as she laughed.

"You'll always be my little one Y/N/N..."

You scoff lightly, but betray your show of anger as you nuzzle impossibly closer to her for the much needed comfort, appreciative of the sporadic forehead kiss she bestows upon you.

Carol had tried to give the both of you space, but it was getting hard to do in their one bedroom apartment, and she honestly hurt the more she heard your sobs through the wall. With a light knock, and permission to enter granted she cracked the door open, juggling three mugs in her hand, and smiling at you.

Against their protests you'd crawled out of your sisters lap so they could cuddle; gratefully accepting the mug of chocolate goodness in return and cracking a faint smile at the intentional overload of whipped cream and marshmallows on your designated mug.

A curious silence fell in the room, your sisters head falling to her lovers shoulder while an arm wrapped loosely around her waist, the low drum of whatever late night comedy rerun that's on this early in the morning filling the room as you all sipped upon your drinks. Intrusive thoughts all flooding your mind once the surrounding silence seeped in.

"What did I do wrong?"

At the sound of your broken voice Maria was quick to settle both your mugs down on the side table, firmly grabbing your face to redirect your gaze to her as she gave you a firm glare. Having not seen you looking this small since your shared painful childhood, and just in this moment she could see herself pulling one over on the reformed assassin.

"Absolutely nothing. Romanoff is nothing more than an incapable idiot with the emotional maturity of a fruit fly, I told you that when you accepted the date, did I not?"

"Oh you hush..." You defeatedly groan, yanking your face out of her hands and dramatically flopping back onto their shared bed.

Maria jumps to fill the space next to you, jostling both yours and Carol's bodies as she touches down. Propping herself up onto her elbows so that she could stare down at you since you're laying flat on your back while Carol quietly grabs a blanket and slips out for her voluntary night on the couch.

"Seriously honey, you didn't do anything wrong. You've been an amazing mother to those beautiful children, and an even better wife to the woman who's left you high and dry more times than I can count."

Her thumb was quick to tug your lip from between your teeth, then to wipe away at the stray tears threatening to drip upon her sheets.

"It was so good you know... Before Mason was born we were doing so well, then somewhere between Lily's third birthday, and his birth something changed. After her mandatory three months off she returned to Shield, work had become her main priority, it was like she was moving on autopilot, she'd wake up, have her coffee, leave what felt like obligatory kisses to all of our foreheads as she exited, then she'd be gone all day, if not the rest of the week."

"Did something happen?"

"Not that I was made aware of, it wasn't even a gradual shift either; literally out of nowhere she became distant, then whenever I'd attempt to approach her it was a dismissive comment that led to a blowout fight. It was as if I wasn't even worth her time of day anymore, I just wanted to know what happened, so that I could try to fix it. What have I done that I am not deserving of at least that? I have given her ten years of my life, my twenties were hers, and I'll be damned if I'll waste my thirties miserable."

Maria releases a drawn out sigh, not entirely sure how to respond to you, but as your big sister she begins to work towards fixing things.

"I don't have the answers honey, only she would, but honestly I'm not sure she knows why either. I can however offer you what I do know. Natasha loves you a lot honey, even if her way of showing it is backwards, you can decide how you wish to take that information. Whatever you do Y/N/N, don't just go running back to her, but don't just throw in the towel either, not without at least one more attempt to fix things; don't be like our parents Y/N/N."

Maria watches you wincing at the mention of your late parents, but she feels the tough love angle is important, hopefully clarifying even.

"You've put in the work when it came to your trauma Y/N/N, you willingly sought out help, and you are the better one of us for it. You're two times the mother ours ever was, and that's a fact... Natasha, if we're being honest here didn't, and though incomparable hers runs a hell of a lot deeper than ours ever did. It seems to me that she only ever buried herself in you, willing your presence to make it all go away, and for awhile it probably did work for her."

It's true that Natasha had hardly spent anytime processing her trauma before she had met you. Freedom had never really meant free for her, she was able to "escape" the Red-Room with the help of Shield, and in turn she handed them her whole life until she found you, who she then passed the blazing torch to.

"From experience though we both know that's not how the healing process works, I think that something has potentially triggered her and without the resources to understand it's fair to assume she didn't even realize it. We both know she's too proud, afraid even to face the darkness that is her past, but I fear if she doesn't have the motivation to face it she'll just continue down this destructive path.."

Maria's words had struck a chord within you; running from your problems will get you nowhere, and throwing in the towel on your marriage isn't exactly your goal here either. Taking a step back sounded more like it, striking the fear of God into the redhead before you return to her with a list of ultimatums.

"Plus, she put in for a year off as soon as the undercover mission was forcibly extended, which we both know is huge. It's like the former assassin's equivalent to a root canal."

"Damn 'Ria, you should've been a shrink." You laugh out, then move to cuddle against her.

Your genuine laughter helped to soothe Maria's worried heart—you're going to be okay, it'll just take time...

—

The following morning you were off, not willing to stay in plain sight in case the redhead set off to find you. So, you did the next best thing by taking the offered jet—Maria's orders, and the accompanying black card from the millionaire's hand, his profuse apologies more than accepted since you'd now been given this freedom to travel the world as you'd always dreamed.

Taking off was rather liberating actually, first on your list was to travel within the states, and with the jet it made it a fairly easy conquest. Every sunrise, and sunset along with the designated meal times was spent within a new state, with the exception of California, Texas, Alaska and Hawaii being lucky enough to have full days. It took you exactly two weeks to travel to all the unseen spaces, and though it was exhausting at times you refused to miss it.

When you eventually arrived in California, you'd started with a walk along the Golden Gate bridge to catch the sunrise, feeling as free as can be once the ocean breeze hit your face. The way this one state had such a variety of climates had you in relative awe, viewing the snowy mountains off in the distance, while toes hesitantly dipped into Tahoe's crystal clear lakes. Quite the experience honestly, skipping the rocks while grubbing on some fantastic tacos from a truck. You'd enjoyed observing the entirety of the sunny state, forgoing Los Angeles for your children's sake, and honestly being grateful you weren't traveling by car, because the people here were truly reckless.

You were fortunate enough to catch a view of the Northern lights from quite a few states, you walked along the shores of beaches, and visited sights like the Space Needle, or "The Worlds Largest: Ketchup bottle, Cheese Wheel, Potato" and so much more that you'd never imagined needed to be memorialized.

After the states you traveled across the entirety of many contents, sightseeing at the forefront, but more so you'd been on a journey of self discovery. You'd seemingly forgotten yourself over the years after becoming a wife and then a mother, so you emerged yourself into a plethora of new worlds in search of clarity.

With every new adventure you'd found your soul feeling a tad bit lighter; even if your heart did hurt every time you heard your son shriek as you were hanging up, or your daughter's angry breathing on the other end of the line, and lest we forget the voicemails left in the middle of the night wearing you down just as much—you're not sure she even knew she was leaving them though.

The only clear problem ended up being how lonely you found yourself, it was so odd to you too because for as long as you can remember it'd always been just you. Sure, you had Maria, but with her climbing the ranks at Shield you were on your own a lot. Working on your undergraduate degree, which left you with so little time for fun, but full of hope for your prospective, bright future.

Then one day along while back Maria was invited to an event in which she refused to go alone, so she dragged your resisting form into a fancy venue against your will. Silently cursing her for having the upper hand of physical training on a regular basis over you. By the end of the event though you'd loosened up after having had your fill of champagne, and while dancing the night away you'd met the most gorgeous woman you'd ever laid eyes upon.

Natasha Romanoff, the woman you now call your wife, and the one who with one simple smirk, and a charming kiss to your hand had managed to reel you in. A whirlwind romance full of laughter, sex, and an abundance of love. Somewhere along the way though the laughter had died, and all you got were sparing moans, and loud screaming—not the good kind.

So, after two months of traveling, you shakily took the jet home to New York, then set off with your sister in tow towards the farmhouse. AirPods in playing your favorite podcast with your head leaning against the window to take in the New York skyline. Admiring the ways that the sun slowly rose, beams of light shining through the cracks between the skyscrapers. Maria sat beside you in her sunglasses, sipping upon her coffee while fulfilling her older sister duty of driving you through the city while Carol quietly sat in the back reading a book—you were starting to understand why she's such a good partner for your sister.

While you came to terms with a lot, and worked to understand your wife over blaming her you finally felt like you could breathe again. The last couple of months had been absolute hell for your wife though, your unwillingness to even share your location had been weighing heavily on the woman's heart, the possibilities for what you're doing were endless and that drove her mad.

Were you moving on?

Did someone else sweep you off your feet?

Is that why you haven't come back yet?

Did she really just ruin everything she spent years building up over her unresolved traumas?

The fear of losing you had always been her biggest, so she's not sure why she—entirely unprovoked, brought it to fruition.

Turns out your daughter was wondering much of the same... Lily had been hard on you, and had said some very mean things, but no matter what she could still depend on you to be there. Every time she would wake with a nightmare, even after treating you badly, she knew she could always climb into your bed at night. Without fail you'd pull her close, dry her cheeks, and sing to her until she was soothed.

Natasha sleeps on the couch though, and she's not getting much sleep as it is, so now she's left to face her fears on her own. The biggest one being that she somehow ran her mommy off.

Of course she did, she was cruel, and now you're just gone...

"Mama?"

"Hmm?" Natasha hummed, slowly peering over her third mug of coffee in under just an hour to see your daughter's distraught face.

"Oh lyubov', what's wrong?"

"I'm scared mama..." She cries, and Natasha rounds the counter, scooping the tiny girl up and into her tight embrace.

"Why are you scared angel?"

"I broke the family... I was mean to mommy, and now she's just gone... What if she never comes back? Mama, does she hate me? I-I. She's my mommy, she can't hate me... Right? I'd told her I hated her a day before she left, but I didn't mean it, I never meant it..." Lily says in a panic, her words incomprehensible near the end as she began to hyperventilate.

"Hey, slow down there angel... I need you to breathe for me baby, come on..."

Natasha is able to pull her out of the breathing fit, but her trembling body doesn't cease, Natasha just pulls her into her chest even tighter and rocks her tiny body. 

"Oh Lily-bug... You have to know that your mommy doesn't hate you, she loves you so very much, don't you ever doubt that hunny. You also didn't break our family, I don't want to hear you saying that again."

"But—."

"No, you're the child here baby, you did not cause this. It was mama that messed up." Natasha firmly replies after taking a steadying breath, because admitting it out loud really hurt, but seeing her daughter riddled with guilt was somehow more painful.

"No, mama you didn't." Lily replies in a panic.

"Honey, I don't like saying it, but it's true. Mama made some really stupid choices, and now Mommy is just taking a little breather."

"What did you do?"

"I also wasn't very nice to mommy, I said some really mean things to her, and always ran away. Mommy did nothing wrong, but I still made her —."

Natasha pauses, decisively she reroutes the conversation, not really wanting to unload such heaviness onto the already fragile young girl in her arms.

"Honey, why were you mean to mommy, hm?"

"I thought when mommy yelled at you she was why you kept leaving, and that just made me so mad. You were always gone mama, and I just missed you so much... Yelling just made me feel so much better, but I know it didn't make mommy feel good, she cried a lot..."

"Me neither pumpkin, I do think it made her really sad, but she's smart—she knows you love her, I promise."

"Can you tell her sorry for me please? Maybe then she'll come home... I miss her, she's a good mommy... She also knows how to cook." She quietly asks over a yawn, her mother's light laughter and warm body lulling her into a much needed nap.

Your daughters confessions really weighs heavy on the former assassin, while barely being around she'd still managed to pass her anger issues off onto your daughter. Forcing her into such heavy feelings at such a young age; she'd always vowed to protect her family, but she knows now that she did the opposite here...

Failures never really been an option for her, and after talking things over with the innocent child she's aware that she'll need to work through a lot if she's ever going to fix this, which is the only option she's prepared for. She'd gone to text you for your daughter's sake, but then she decided that would be too cheap.

She'll call you later, hopefully you'll answer...

Little did she know you were currently stood behind the house, Maria headed towards the front door to enact her portion of the plan. Because had she known the house would be clean, and she would've showered as well.

Lily's quick to jolt up at the sound of the door, scrambling to her feet she runs over in the hopes that it's Lila, or Coop on the other side.

"AUNTIE MARIA!!" She shrieks, pleasantly surprised by her presence she all but jumps into her arms, then in a curious manner she looks over her shoulder hoping to see you.

"Hello there my favorite niece." She teasingly greets the young girl, eyes naturally taking in the mess of a woman on the couch before finally addressing her.

"Hey Nat, sorry for just dropping in, but would it be okay if Carol and I took the kids out for the day? Promise they'll be back by sunset."

"Of course. Let me just go get Mason up and dressed, then you'll be good to go."

"Ooh, can we go to the zoo? Oh, and maybe get ice cream?"

Natasha strides off towards your son's room, shoulders sagging as soon as Maria's no longer visible. For a brief moment her head falls against his door, a lone tear falls as she works to pull herself together just enough to send the kids off for their day of fun, and for her day of drinking to just start a bit earlier.

"Hey Mace, baby boy it's time to get up..." She coos, lightly shaking him awake, and just like clockwork he calls out for you, as he does every single morning.

"Mommy?!"

"No baby, it's just mama." She sighs in defeat, then lifts his body out of the dinosaur themed toddler bed to dress him.

She can't blame him, she misses you just the same, but it still stings for her to feel like she's not enough for him. It's her own fault, she's never been a consistent enough figure in his short life, and now he's only been left with her.

"Come on buddy, your auntie is here."

His face instantly lights up, and her heart breaks at the sight, knowing that he's bonded with his aunt in a way he still hasn't with her just hurts beyond measure.

"Auntie Riri?"

Natasha nods, then his hand drops from hers and he runs down the stairs to get to see for himself.

"No running down the stairs!" She shrieks, fear overcoming her at the possibility of him falling, but as she catches up to him all it did was make him hesitant to be near her.

Mason's not really used to yelling, he's always been a sensitive little one. Lily was a relatively quiet baby, her cries instantly soothed upon having her needs met. Mason was the opposite, crying regularly for more than the basic needs. Lily had been, and still is pretty independent, but Mason's always needed that extra bit of affection, and to accommodate him you'd taken the 'no need to shout' approach at parenting. Finding it for more beneficial in the long run anyways, as shouting was borderline barbaric, and emotionally harmful to any child.

"I'm sorry, mama just didn't want you to get hurt... Can I have a hug goodbye?"

He shook his head 'no' while hiding behind Maria's leg, but after he saw Lily hugging her he hesitantly made his way over too. Natasha heavily sighed at the contact grateful for even the most minor progress, then she placed a tender kiss to his temple before sending them both off with an 'I love you.'

Once they were out the door, and she heard the car had taken off she gasped as the immense, overwhelming sadness bubbled over into irrational rage, a framed family photo caught in the crossfire as she threw it against the wall. Crumbling to her knees at the same time the glass shattered across the floor, left to regret her actions the moment she had observed the scene before her.

Brushing the glass away she pulled the image into her trembling chest; it was a perfect photo.

Natasha and you had taken Lily to the secluded park up the road which was really just a tire swing, and a rickety metal slide. There you stood with a much younger Lily, her tiny arms wrapped around your throat, hanging off your back as tiny legs tried to wrap around your protruding belly—the left succeeded but the right was dangling. While you were fighting for your life Natasha had managed to run into the timed photo grabbing her leg, pushing her up and relieving the pressure upon your larynx. The photo captured as you took in an exaggerated breath, Lily's body towering above yours with a smirk to rival Natasha's, and Nat's other hand was on your stomach while her face was contorted fearfully. What a memory...

"That was a good day, one of our last ones actually." You suddenly said from behind her, causing Natasha to scramble to face you.

The sight of your normally put-together, fiercely strong wife stood before you as nothing but a shell of herself hurt you far more than you cared to admit. No matter how much damage or pain she inflicted upon the family you didn't necessarily intend for this response. Karma doesn't always do the job it's meant to, here it seems to have only broken her further.

"You're-you're really here..."

Natasha scuffled across the floor in a rush, paying no mind to the glass that's scratching up her exposed knees as her body's only goal is to reach you—to feel you.

"Yes, I think it's about time we talk..." You reply with an accompanying groan as her tear filled face slams against the fabric of your shirt, and your hand falls atop her head in a comforting way.

"Natasha... Get up..."

With all her strength she wills herself to let you go, then slowly she makes her way over to the couch where she sits with her bloodied knees pulled tightly into her chest.

Taking the moment to really observe her you see the distant look in her eye, and the olive complexion she once had has faded as if the sun just wasn't around anymore. It's more apparent than ever how much she truly needs some help. Three years of mostly being alone didn't do this to you, and she's only been here two months. Granted she didn't leave you fearing a divorce, but still, this is beyond a simple talk between two broken lovers.

With a familiar ease you had moved around the house, collecting the first aid kit and throwing the trash away as it littered the whole kitchen counters all while waiting on the tea kettle. Settling the mugs on the table you moved to sit beside Natasha, cautiously reaching out, but stopping once her hand wraps around your wrist.

"Leave it." She rasps, but you shake her hold and dab the gauze with antiseptic on the cuts.

"Natasha, I'm not going to leave you cut up."

"You left me..." Her words are merely a whisper, you continued to just work on her knees until you pulled your thoughts together.

The cuts were superficial, so after you slathered some ointment over them you left them uncovered then pulled back to finally acknowledge her heartbreak.

"Yes, I did do that, but I'm back now so that we can talk this out."

"I wanted to talk that night..."

"Natasha, this isn't going to work if we lie. You didn't try to talk, you tried to fuck me into submission, and it nearly worked—once again, but much like you I couldn't do this anymore. Going back to the way things were isn't an option for me."

"Detka, I promise we won't go back, but please don't leave again, I-I can't do this alone."

"Tasha, I'm back, but I'm not back as you want. I'm here to be a support system, to coparent our beautiful babies, and to make sure the house never looks like this again. I'll be staying in the guest room for now until we—."

"No-no... I don't want a fucking divorce, I want you Y/N/N, I want us—our family..." Natasha shouts while jumping to her feet and blocking you from leaving the couch.

"Then it's good we're on the same page then, because I want all of that too, desperately so. You have to stop interrupting me, stop jumping to conclusions, and stop making decisions for us. I don't see this marriage working if we just jump right back into it."

"Why can't we just be us now? I have ten months left of my time off, we can travel with the kids, we can be happy, I want to be happy."

"Being happy starts with you Nat, whatever it is you're holding onto you need to let it all go. You need to seek outside help, you're so angry, but deep down I know you're drowning in sorrow, and burying yourself in us clearly stopped working for you a long time ago."

"That's easy enough for you to say, how do I just let it all go? All that I've lived through, that I've done to others, I'm just meant to let it go?"

"Yeah, you need to let it fucking go, because the longer you hold on, the more you're going to continue to lose. I've never been a fan of ultimatums, but fuck, Natasha this is mine!"

"What are you saying?"

"You need to get help, or this won't work, and then divorce would be our only option. Our kids deserve two happy parents, I refuse to be to my children what my parents were to me. Maria and I survived by the skin of our teeth, and I'll be damned if Lily and Mason are made to do the same. We have a chance here to give our kids what we never had and we're fucking it up Natasha. Mason deserves to know his other mother, and Lily shouldn't have to hate me to love you."

Natasha's taken aback by your words, looking deeply into your eyes she sees this is truly it. Either she gets the "help", or you're gone for good, and two months without you was enough for her to never want that again, so she nods. Then taking tentative steps she moves forward until she straddles your lap, and buries her face into the crook of your neck.

"Natasha..."

"Please...? Just hold me, please..."

Your arms wrap around her waist, allowing her this moment of comfort, because in the end she's still your wife, and she's not a horrible person, she's the furthest thing from that.

"I promise to fix this Y/N/N... I can't lose you, I won't survive it."

"I know you will Tasha, and I promise to be here every step of the way, now get some rest."

You pulled the blanket from off the top of the couch to place over her, turning the TV on low to watch a random comedy rerun while you simultaneously soothed the body atop of yours until it fell slack. Then after she was in a deep sleep you placed a lingering kiss to her forehead before gently slipping her onto the couch and moving to clean up the disaster that is your shared home before getting started on dinner.

—

Maria came back three hours later with a sleeping toddler and an exhausted little girl. With her spare key she unlocked the door, and as soon as the smell of borscht hit Lily's nose her whole body perked up, dropping her aunts hand in favor of running into the kitchen.

"Mommy you're back!" She shouts excitedly, but you're quick to shush her while also dropping to your knees to fully embrace her.

Once you've got her in your arms you stand once more, stirring the soup when you feel her body start to tremble in your hold.

"Honey, what's wrong?"

You tried to set her down but her hold became unbearably tight and you realized she was indeed scared

"Put him with Nat, and stir the soup please. There's bowls for all of us." You instructed your older sister, ignoring the playful muttering of 'bossy' she throws your way as you make your way upstairs.

Once the both of you came back downstairs Natasha already had Mason in his seat, and was helping Maria to set the table. Maria noticed you first, sending up a sympathetic smile when your eyes instantly fell to the to go containers in her hand.

"Duty calls." She jests with the tupperware lifted in the air and arms wide open to say goodbye.

You'd walked around the corner, and while hugging her goodbye Mason began to squirm in his seat so you cut the embrace short and moved to pick him up, and for the third time today someone was clinging to you like a koala.

That night you went to sleep in the guest room with Mason already clinging to you, and by the time the clock struck one your bed was full. Though it wasn't part of your plan, you knew it would be an adjustment, so for the time being you let it be, and if you were being honest with yourself really it wasn't that hard to do.

——

Natasha was really starting to wonder if divorce was that bad as she sat in the waiting room to meet her therapist, the one designated for the Avengers, and all their extended members.

She's lived a whole life without you, she could easily do it... right?

"Natasha Romanoff? Miss Montague will see you now."

Natasha took a moment to collect herself, wringing her hands out a few times before switching a flip and confidently walking through the doors as the perplexed receptionist stood in wait.

Natasha entered the woman's office and the sight of the tidy, almost clinical environment had her stomach turning with uneasiness. Regardless of her feelings though she sat down, and for her entire session just sat there staring the woman down, the psychologist's gaze never wavering as she left the floor open to her.

"Well, Mrs. Romanoff that was a great first session, I'll see you again next week at the same time, thank you for coming in."

Natasha scoffs as she's practically shoved out of the office, but for some reason she can't fight the fact that she feels microscopically better.

—

The next session's a bit more involved as she introduces "herself" to the woman, barely scratching the surface when she mutters out:

"I'm Natasha, and I'm here to fix my marriage with Y/N, and then hopefully we'll be a happy family again."

Natasha felt incredibly brave for having even mentioned the problem at hand, but Miss Montague felt differently, as she chuckled inappropriately in response while closing her notebook and leaning onto her elbows that were flat on the desk separating them to hold her stare as she spoke.

"That might be your goal Natasha, but that's not why you're here, so how about we try to get passed this game of surface level deflection here and you can tell me exactly what I need to hear to get you to where your wife and kids need you to be, and where you deserve to be."

Natasha abruptly stood at the women's words, followed shortly by the slamming of her doors, and when she was about halfway home on her bike she pulled off onto the barren exit and burst into tears. Thirty minutes later she was back in the office, and angrier than ever.

"Listen, this is all so fucking pointless! Y/N deserves better than me, she always has. I'm nothing more than a trained killer, these hands were designed to inflict pain, not to show love. I was selfish, I wanted something I was never meant to have, and now they're suffering because I can't live up to it. My son won't even look at me now that Y/N's back home, and my daughter is still so angry because I taught her to be nothing more than that. Y/N's trying to fix me, but I don't think that's possible, why can't she fucking see that? She wants me to let go, but it would be so much easier if she was to do it instead, she should just let me go..."

"Well that's just not true Mrs. Romanoff, I'm sat here before you and I see so much more than what you are saying. You are a wife, and a mother, and just because you obviously feel undeserving doesn't change the fact that you've made these decisions that led to where you are. We also both know you wouldn't even be here if you wanted her to leave you. Something I'd said clearly upset you, and you're just trying to protect yourself. Self preservation can be just as detrimental as it can be beneficial."

Natasha's anger was slowly fading to sadness, feet moving of their own accord to have her sitting down before her therapist once more, her cracked heart somewhat ready to listen to reason.

"Here's what I'm going to offer you from this moment forward. You'll be honest, completely, because I'm here to help you out—not judge, and there's nothing you'll say that will scare me off either. I'm the Avengers shrink for Christ sake, none of you got here because you had normal upbringings. Honesty is the only way we get you healed Natasha, so if you're down to try, I'm here to help. If you're not then I fear you'll lose everything, and as much as you try to hide from me I can see the fear in your eyes at that very prospect. I'm not in the business of sugar coating—you won't survive this loss."

—

The next few sessions work much the same, Natasha tells partial truths, gets called out, and then after a moment of anger she reveals more of herself to the shrink, and little by little you begin to take notice of her at home.

The new effort she is putting forth is obvious, and you can easily tell it's organic and not some temporary forced fix to convince you. Without overstepping, or halting her progress you make a conscious effort to give her more. Subtle initiations of physical contact, late night walks as a family, and family movie nights with the Barton's where you sit beside her and allow your fingers to brush. Natasha appreciates the intimacy, but she'd be lying to say she doesn't want more, feeling like she's flirting with the idea of dating her wife is just strange to her.

—

"So, Natasha, it's been two months, and as great as this is going we've already reached a sort of plateau, I know somethings holding us back. How are things with Mason? Let's talk about him and what is it that changed be—."

"You know, Lily did this adorable thing when she was a baby. She'd purse her little lips, and just blow these little spit bubbles, Y/N thought it was so gross, but it was honestly really cute."

"Natasha, we're talking about Mason here."

"There's nothing to say, he's my son, but clearly I'm not his mama..." She snaps, a certain edge to her voice that shows she's uncomfortable, but is that not what therapy's meant for...?

"He's three, and you weren't exactly there, if I remember correctly you missed his last birthday."

"I was on a mission..." She weakly defends, but from previous sessions they both know it was an avoidable one. 

"Doesn't change the fact that he has a right to be hesitant of you, but you however have no right to give up on him, so let's go through the days leading up to his birth. There has to be something we're missing here, or better yet something you're holding onto and refusing to let go."

"Everything was fine."

"Natasha, stop deflecting."

"No, it was, Y/N was so cuddly and needy just like when she was pregnant with Lily, it was perfect. Then she gave birth, and when we got home he just wouldn't stop crying, and I-I..."

Natasha can't exactly fight the tears as she is violently thrown into an unfavorable memory from her past, one that she'd suppressed with a bottle of vodka within the same night—perks of being the top widow at the time.

•~~~~~•~~~~~•—•~~~~~•~~~~~•

"Natalia, these are the targets, leave nothing behind. Are we clear?"

"Yes madam." Natasha monotonously responds, politely grabbing the file out of her hand then she's making her way to the weapons room to gather her collection.

She'd taken two trains and a bus, completely undetected, and she's just as efficient when she climbs into the German Townhouse to wait for her targets to return home. The file, as usual, proclaims these individuals to be traitors of the highest degree and she knows better than to ask for clarification. Harsh training had left her void of the will to ask, but it never left her without a deep pain in her chest.

She was observant as can be, the room she climbed into told her that she'd been sent to kill someone's parents, but the file didn't. Natasha was trained to kill, it was an effortless swan's dance at this point, but killing children was a hard concept for her, she'd never been made to kill one before, and she's not entirely sure she had it in her.

The sound of a door clicking announced to her of their return, she shook the fear from her heart and made her way through the halls. The parents knew immediately that this was it, the cold breeze in their house enough of a warning, but they knew better than to run. Instead they shoved their four year old into the specialty designed closet, texted a friend for his safe retrieval, then sat on the couch.

Natasha rounded the corner to see them, their pensive expression telling her that they're ready, so she makes it a quick process for them. Two silenced gunshots, one between his eyes, the other right through her chest, then she goes to head for the closet; mind on autopilot as she wills her body to kill the innocent child, after already killing the most likely just as innocent parents.

"Bitte tu ihm nichts, sie wissen nichts von ihm, lass ihn gehen. Er ist ein guter Junge"

(Please dont hurt him, they don't know about him, let him go. he's a good boy.)

Natasha hesitates with her hand over the closet doorknob, she could just go, her mission for all they know is completed, but she had express instructions to leave nothing behind, and nothing includes witnesses, but he had yet to see her face.

"Das verspreche ich."  The dying mother pulls her from her internal debate as she pleads once more for her sons life.

(I promise)

Natasha sees the look in her eyes, the honesty jumping out as the life itself drains from them, and Natasha decides in the moment it is best to leave him be, so she wipes the gun to place in the husbands hands, then she disappears into the shadows.

"Mama.. Mama wake up.." He cries over the limp body, her green eyes notice his desperate pair of blue from the shadows she hides in.

His tears never stop, heartbreaking sobs continue to leave him as he lays his head over his mothers chest, her stilled heart beneath his ears. Her own guarded heart shattering as she watches the innocence slowly leaves him, the same way she'd watched it leave Yelena's, all the while ignoring the little girl that she once was. She finally leaves the scene after the boy's received safe passage, but his cries for his mama never once leave her mind, deeply etched into her heart, left there to remind her every day that she is the monster they set out to make her.

•~~~~~•~~~~~•—•~~~~~•~~~~~•

"Natasha, that wasn't your fault."

"Yes it was, why can't you see that?"

The shrink stops herself from interjecting, seeing this as a potential breaking point for the former assassin as she'd yet to tremble like this before.

"What's worse is that was my last mission before my deflection, the same one that left me to murder a little girl in the name of freedom. Couldn't kill him, but for an end to my own suffering I could kill her, and it turns out I didn't even do that right; I just disfigured her and left her and my little sister Yelena behind to fend for themselves against that vile man—I'm no better than he is, can't you see?"

Miss Montague takes cautious steps to kneel before Natasha who's sat on the couch, taking her hands into her own for the obvious needed comfort, and Natasha's teary eyes lift to meet her softened brown ones.

"How can I hold my crying baby, and try to soothe him and allow him to find comfort in calling me mama when that little boy never got to do the same?"

"Natasha, you didn't have any say in the matter, and when given the choice you actively spared him. Nothing you did is something that I can forgive you for, and it seems to me you're unwilling to forgive yourself. You have to stop torturing yourself for the things you were forced to do, you need to then seek forgiveness, and maybe then you can forgive yourself too."

"What? Am I just meant to find him and say 'Sorry for killing your parents?'" Natasha snaps at her shrink for what's probably the millionth time, but Montague isn't phased.

"No, that's too literal, and a bit morbid. Seek it out where you can actually get it."

"Please, stop speaking in riddles for once!!" She groans, hands yanked back to run down her face in frustration.

"Yelena—start there, you've made amends, but now go and say sorry again like you mean it. Next apologize to Y/N, share with her what you can, then say you're sorry for the last three years you couldn't be who she needed you to be. Then finally, look Mason in his eyes, and force yourself to feel the love he has for you. When Y/N left he trusted you enough to care for him, and when given no choice you were able to do it; it's honestly likely his hesitation is spurred on by your own to let him love you."

Natasha nods in sudden understanding, frantically jumping to her feet she bids her goodbye with the promise of seeing her next week, because they're far from done here. Leaving to race off to Yelena's, a pitstop for booze a necessity before she's then pounding on her sister's door.

"Natasha, what are you doing here? Did something happen to Y/N? The kids?"

"I'm sorry."

Yelena, though confused, closes the door as her frantic—seemingly unhinged—sister brushes past her to sit on the couch and pops open two entire bottles of vodka.

"Natasha, what are you—?"

"Sidet!"

Yelena sits, not entirely sure why she's taking orders from her sister in her own house but alas she does it, gratefully accepting the bottle of booze in temporary lieu of an explanation.

Natasha and Yelena drink silently for an hour before the redhead bleeds her heart out to her little sister, to which Yelena embraces her wholeheartedly, and repeatedly reassures her that she's more than forgiven. Truly, both of them needed this moment of brutal unpacking. Yelena feels far less alone in hearing her sister's struggles when compared to her very own, and Natasha never realized how much she needed the forgiveness of her mladshaya sestra until she genuinely had it.

"Natalia, I forgive you, and I love you so much..."

——

Natasha's appointment had been at 2PM, and seeing as how she missed the family movie night you were feeling a whole hell of a lot when she still hadn't shown at 10PM. An all too familiar pain reemerging in your chest as you start to think that all the progress had been an elaborate ruse, that your marriage was over.

The wine clouded your mind, and the tears readily fell as you began to come to terms with the end of all you'd ever wanted. Sounds, and visuals around you blurred, leaving you to miss the jingling keys, and the fast approaching steps, all that brings you out of it is the feel of rough hands holding your face.

"Detka, what's wrong?"

Her voice—deep, sexy, full of love and concern, but mostly infuriating.

"Don't touch me."

Natasha ignores you, quickly lifting your body up and carrying you out to the porch to avoid waking the kids.

"I thought you were getting better, but it appears to me it was a short lived fantasy." You seethe as soon as she settles you down.

"Detka..."

"No, I'll have all your stuff packed by tomorrow night, you can stay at the Barton's."

Natasha's hands firmly grip you by the shoulders, guiding your body into the pillar before she shouts in your face.

"I'm sorry!"

Natasha and apologies don't usually happen often, so your mouth shuts and your eyes widen, opening the floor for her to elaborate.

"We had a breakthrough today..."

Her trembling lip, and disheveled features finally catch in your visual, so without a second thought you pull her into your embrace and settle the both of you down in the swinging chair, hand over her own to comfort her.

"I went to see Lena, and we had a breakthrough of our own actually..."

Her fingers play with the rings on your fingers, head adjusting on your shoulder so that she could peer up at you when she spoke next.

"... I've done bad things Y/N/N, and I'm scared that if I tell you exactly what I've done you'll run, and that'll hurt me so much worse than you leaving because I pushed you to do it."

"Have a little more faith in me Nat, I didn't exactly enter this relationship lightly, nor did I bring children into the world with you without thinking it through. I know enough about your past to know you've been made to do some horrific things but that's neither her nor there. Your past changes nothing for me, because above all else I know your heart, and it's gold... After the last three years I wouldn't still be fighting for us if I didn't know that my Natty is still in there deep down."

Natasha sobs against your chest, but unlike the last few times it's obvious to you this isn't a pity party, or some ploy to get you to give in; this is raw, unadulterated pain and you can tell that much by the way her body violently shakes and how she has to work overtime just to breathe air into her lungs, her heaving chest without reprieve causes a panic to settle deep within your body.

Terrified you do just about everything you can to calm her down, but the only thing that ends up working is the shock of your lips firmly pressed to hers. Once she catches up she's desperately trying to kiss you back, hands linking around your neck to keep you planted there, and for just a moment you give into the euphoric feeling of having your wife's body flush against your own, arms wrapped tightly around her waist.

"Tasha, honey... Let's focus here..."

"I'm so sorry Y/N, I never meant to hurt you this badly, I was just so scared..."

"I get that honey, but what exactly happened?"

"Mason... He—."

Your heart twinges in anger at the mention of your beautiful son's name, but you hold back, allowing her the chance to explain before you prematurely lose it on her.

"He triggered something in me, I'd buried it for so long that I'd began to live my life like it never even happened, and that just makes it so much worse because I didn't deserve to forget. I deserved to feel miserable for what I did."

"Did you have a choice?"

"I don't know, it was my hands was it not?"

"Tasha, just tell me what you need to, help me to understand. I want to forgive you, and most of me already has, but you need to work with me. You can't just say Mason's the problem, then not tell me why, that's our son in there."

"That's not what I said, I said he triggered me, he's not the problem, he never was, I am." She huffs angrily, all her previous sadness from the painful memories crashing down on her again.

"None of that either Tasha, you're not the problem, you're just dealing with them. What do you need from me? A promise? I promise that I love you, and no matter what you say I still will."

"I-I love you too..." She quietly whispers as she takes a steadying breathe before sitting up straighter to finally open her heart to you in every way that she always should've.

Natasha candidly speaks, and you quietly listen while using your legs to get the chair to swing. Watching the pain swirling beneath her eyes and using your touch to soothe her as best you could, but your heart was absolutely breaking for the uncharacteristically fragile woman. Her words eventually died off once her twisted tales came to an end, she just resided in your lap, sniffling every once in awhile as she came down from her heightened storytelling and you got your thoughts together.

"Oh honey, my beautiful, sweet angel, none of that was your fault, and you shouldn't have to carry the burden of it either. You won't want to hear this but you were just as innocent as he was, you were just doing what you had to to survive, and the fact that you hesitated told me that boy was always safe with you. These hands of yours are built to love, and have been used to do so countless times, and I know they'll continue to do so as we navigate through this life together." You reason, your right hand rising, thumb slowly tracing over her features while wiping away at her tears, and pulling her lip from between her teeth before dropping to lift her hand up, and slowly linking your hands to provide emphasis to your words.

"I mean, look at you now. Everything they said you couldn't be you became it anyways in spite of them, you became a mother, you're my wife, and fuck Nat, you're even a superhero. So many little kids look up to you; for all the lives that you've been made to take you've made up for it tenfold with the one's you've saved." You reply, an obvious air of anger to your tone as you passionately do so, only really softening at the subtle flinching of her features.

"That little boy, as tragic as his story was is most likely doing just fine Nat. Children are so incredibly resilient, and he was so young that his brain most likely shielded him as he aged. The only ones to blame here are the redroom—Dreykov or Madam, shit—even his parents. They brought him into the world knowing the enemies they made, and instead of protecting him they left him open to a world of hurt. A parents love for their child is supposed to be strong enough to put them first, and they failed to do that, they were selfish and held onto him until their dying breath, and nearly cost him his own life."

Natasha's face twists as your hopeful words hit, she'd never imagined him as doing anything other than suffering, so to imagine he somehow overcame it and is thriving is a nice perspective, and she knows you're more than likely right.

"Forgive yourself for not being able to undo all the pain you've caused so that you can finally be free Natalia; Forgive yourself for not being the person we all needed you to be; Forgive your inner child for the life she never got to live, and learn to heal her through our kids; Forgive yourself so that we can love you fully, because that's all we all want to do."

Natasha's body began to tremble once again as your words permeated deep into her psyche, but then a soft sniffle from the left caught both of your attentions, the assassins head lifting and her bleary eyes settling on the petrified young boy. Stood there with a thumb in his mouth, a blanket and teddy clutched to his chest, and eyes shining with unshed tears.

"Mama, please no cry..." He himself sobbed, tiny empathetic body rushing to climb onto the swing, struggling as he does.

He forcefully squeezed into the space between the both of you, laying his blanket over his legs and delicately placing his teddy into her arms while twisting and throwing his tiny arms tightly around her neck and burying himself against her. Natasha's right arm stays behind your back, but her left desperately clings to his body, and once her eyes meet your adoring ones the dam breaks wide open, tears never stopping no matter how hard he pleaded with her through his own sobs to stop, both only ever ceasing to do so when the both of them fell asleep on your lap.

"Hey there, need some help?"

Your gaze slowly travels from the peaceful faces sat upon you over to Clint, and he sends you an easy smile.

"How'd you find us?" You tease the former spy, and he quirks his brow at you playfully before gesturing to the brunette who was stood in watch upon the porch next door.

He's quick to approach with buff arms at the ready to free you from your pretty comfortable confinement. He follows behind you with the mother son duo still fast asleep against his chest, and you open the door to your shared room for him to settle them down in the bed.

"You going to sleep in there with them tonight?" He quietly asks you as he leaves the door open just a crack, and judging by the inflection in his voice he's clearly aware of your sleeping schedule as of late.

"Mhm, I'm just going to get her some Tylenol, and water for the headache she's likely to have come morning, thanks for your help Clint." You politely reply, avoiding his attempt to snoop for his wife—the sneaky little minx she is, then you wish him a goodnight while locking the doors.

Shutting down the house you happily throw back the remainder of your wine glass before making your way to bed, nearly going into the guest on instinct before redirecting your feet. Upon entering the room you see Natasha had shifted to her back, and Mason was completely on top of her, then you noticed the slightly older child had found residence in your spot, so you gently shifted her slumped form over to crawl into the bed.

"Fuck... We're never almost divorcing again." You quietly groaned at the feel of the tempur-pedic mattress beneath your aching back.

"Please, can we not? The couch really sucks..." Natasha whispers back, and you peep open one eye to see her staring at you while her hand soothing runs down Mason's spine.

Both of you share a bittersweet chuckle, locked eyes conveying all the rest of the unspoken words, and though there's still a lot of work to do, you're more than content knowing that your Natasha's the one laying beside you.

——(Bonus)

"I go with mama!" Mason shrieks as you hold his wiggling form while waiting in the insanely long line for Dumbo, Lily stood beside you with a 'not this ride' face, and you feel rather giddy at the thought of having tricked her into thinking that 'Its A Small World' is the best ride yet, and that's what's up next.

"Yes, you will go with mama!" Natasha beams, with a proud smile when she looks to you, lightly pecking your lips while seamlessly passing the churro over to your hand in exchange for the toddler.

"Thank you honey." You cheer, followed by a moan as the flavors melt onto your tongue, and after only two bites in peace you reluctantly give all present parties a bite, to then losing the treat all together as Mason bats his eyes at you.

"You're welcome." She giggles, then your group is suddenly ushered into the fast pass lane when Natasha's recognized by a worker.

"Perks of being a superhero." You muse with a wink thrown her way as you lift Lily up and into the elephant.

After the initial jolt into the air you admit that flying through the sky is nice, your heart also soaring at the sight of your reluctant daughters subtle quirked lips, desperately trying to hide her satisfaction with the ride, and also at the way your wife and son are happily flying in front of you. Natasha's smile never once falls as he happily dances in the seat beside her, finger nonstop pointing out all the magical sights that Disneyland has to offer.

"Mommy..."

"Yes Lil?"

"I love you..."

"I love you too angel." You coo, placing a kiss to her forehead as the ride settles, along with all the residual tension this year had to bring.

Meeting your wife at the exit with a tired six year old on your hip you find she has the much more energetic three year old sat upon hers, naturally the both of you link your free hands and set off in search of your next big adventure.

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10,135 Words — Jesus this was definitely a lot.

Sorry if it hurts more than you expected, happy for you if it didn't hurt at all, either way enjoy.

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#natasha romanoff #natasha x reader #natasha x y/n #natasha x you #natasha x fem!reader #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff fluff #natasha romanoff angst #natasha romanoff oneshot #natasha romanoff pov #natasha romanoff x female reader #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff x y/n #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x reader angst #gxg #natasharomanoffpov #natasharomanoff #maria hill x carol danvers #carol danvers #maria hill #black widow fluff #black widow #black widow angst #mama nat

[midgardianweasley]

She saved me.

Natasha Romanoff x fem!Reader

Summary: days where Y/N reminisced on her past weren't always pleasant, but there's one light that can give her hope in the dark.

Word count:1.3k

A/N: hi! Look at me writing a fic for the first time in months🙃 Not entirely sure how I feel about this yet, but I wanna get back into my writing, so, here's this non proofread, 3am and hopefully decent fic?? ig??

Taglist and requests are open<33

Today was one of those days. One of those days that didn't happen all too often, yet always snuck up on you unexpectedly. 

You were never one to dwell on the past, if anything, you tried to avoid thinking of it altogether, not wanting to confront the feelings that usually tagged along and sent you spiralling. However, when you woke up this morning with that heaviness in your stomach and the tightness in your chest, you knew.

Today was one of those days.

______________________________________♡_____________________________________

Up until three years ago, your loyalties lay with your family, which would've been completely fine if their loyalties weren't with HYDRA and their goal to essentially take over the world and everything in it, stopping at nothing to achieve this, even if it meant causing mass destruction.

Unfortunately, in your eagerness to please your parents and impress those you deemed to be above you, you found yourself among the mess, the chaos, the pain. All of the things that were wrong and you knew that deep down, no matter how many nights you stayed up trying to justify your actions. 

You wanted out. You knew it would never be easy to leave, HYDRA wasn't a B&B, there was no option to pack your bags and go and leave a 'needs improvement' comment card in your dust. You had no choice. It was either stay, or be hunted down like prey and killed in a matter of days, weeks if you were lucky. 

You were stuck in this never ending cycle. That was until you met a red-haired assassin on one of your missions. You were sent to kill her, and it was made clear that if you failed, there would be severe consequences for you to face when you got back. 

It was a simple task compared to some. A quick job. Or so you thought. 

It wasn't until you were laying on the ground in a random dark alley, your cheek feeling every stone on the ground as your wrists were caught in her grip behind you, that the overwhelming feeling of defeat washed over you. And not just because the Black Widow had kicked your ass.

"You don't want to do this." She muttered from above you, her grip on you failing to loosen at all.

"You're telling me." You mumbled, feeling that 'duh' wouldn't have been an entirely appropriate response. Though it seemed to make the woman chuckle slightly, almost unnoticeable if she wasn't quite literally sitting on your back. 

"The gun you were pointing at my face a few seconds ago tells me otherwise." 

"Yeah well, it was either you or me, and while life isn't my best friend, I've grown accustomed to y'know, breathing. I'd prefer to keep it that way." You spoke as best you could, considering the position you were in.

"You want out?" 

"I certainly don't want in, so yes, I guess 'out' would be preferable." 

After moments of silence besides the distant sirens and business of the New York streets, you suddenly felt a weight lifting off of you. 

"Up." The assassin spoke, dusting herself off. 

You did what she told you, your brows furrowed as you awaited an explanation. 

"Come with me." She said, turning on her heels, beginning to walk away while whispering something into her earpiece. 

"Wha- where are we going?" What are you doing? Look, if you're gonna kill me then-" 

Cutting you off, the woman spun around, red waves following without letting a hair fall out of place, her green eyes settling on yours, this was your first time seeing her properly up close, and while she did scare you a little, you had to admit, she was beautiful. Even if she was about to kill you, it'd be a nice view. 

"You wanted out, yes?" 

You nodded. 

"Then we'll get you out." 

"But-"

"Yes?" 

"How do you know you can trust me?" You stood awkwardly, suddenly feeling small under her gaze.

She faltered for a moment, glancing around, thinking to herself for a few seconds before looking back at you. She shrugged.

"You remind me of someone I knew." 

"And who's this mystery person?" 

There was another slight pause before she spoke again, a small smile making its way onto her face. "Someone who wanted a second chance." 

No more words were spoken between the two of you at that moment, but you ended up finding out who the person was that you reminded her of. 

_______________________________________♡____________________________________

"Honey? Y/N?" You heard from beside you, though a part of you felt like it was coming from miles away. Nonetheless, you blinked rapidly in an attempt to snap out of your daze, trying to find something to focus on to ground yourself. And you did.

The same green eyes you remember from three years ago. The eyes that belong to the woman you've shared a bed with for the last year and a half. The only thing that made you feel at home. 

"Hey, you with me?" Her hand fell onto your arm, moving up and down with gentle strokes to slowly bring you back to reality. She knew what this was, she was always able to read the signs, knowing someone else better than you know yourself was bound to give you that ability. 

"Yeah, yeah I'm sorry." You mumbled, looking down at your hands that were pinching and poking at the bed covers before they were linked with another.

"It happened again, didn't it?" She asked.

You nodded in response, turning onto your side so that you could give her all of your attention rather than letting your head run wild. She gave you a gentle smile, her other hand reaching up to move some hair back behind your ear.

"There's my pretty girl." 

You blushed slightly, humoured at the fact that no matter what, she was able to make you feel butterflies. 

"How're you feeling?" 

"I'm not sure actually. It's a mess."

"That's okay. Take your time."

Taking a deep breath, you tried to collect your thoughts, internally figuring out what was going on with you. 

"I feel..lucky. but undeserving." 

"Right?" She stayed quiet, giving you the opportunity to continue.

"I just- I did some horrible, horrible things. And to people who didn't deserve it. I fought for the wrong side for so long. And I know I'm not there anymore, but it's this lingering guilt that I can't fix, I can't reverse. And w-who knows what i-i would've done if you hadn't seen something in me? Who I'd..you know." 

Her thumb moved from your hand to your face, wiping away tears you hadn't realised had fallen. You let out a shaky breath, trying to keep some form of composure so you didn't crumble. Not that she hadn't seen it all before. 

"You didn't have a choice." 

"I-" 

"No, hey,  listen. Okay?" 

You stayed silent, letting her speak.

"you were stuck. You were raised in that place and didn't know anything else except survival. You have some blood on your hands, so do I. But think of everything you've done since, yeah? The thousands you've helped on missions, the little things you do everyday. You've been determined to better yourself since day one, that's what matters. You continue to help people, save lives. I saw that in you the first time we met. You make me so proud and I have no regrets with you." She looked at you intensely, doing everything she can to get her point across.

"you did?" 

"As clear as day." 

"We're both better, right?." You smiled, leaving forward to learn your forehead against hers, wanting that extra intimacy.

"Exactly. I've got you Detka."

"I love you Nat."

"Right back at you Y/N." 

You both lay there as time passed by, oblivious to the world rushing around outside, simply choosing to stay under the covers with each other, limbs tangled together and enjoying the peace.

That's all today was. One of those days where the two of you ignore the world, focusing only on one another, completely entranced by the other, as sweet nothings were whispered into the room.  

The green eyes, the red hair, the assassin, the woman who picked you up and continues to lift you higher. She was your home. 

Natasha Romanoff loved you, protected you, and above all else,

She saved you.

Taglist: @wandaromanova @eilarch @natashaswifey @lostandsearching @pottahishotasf @d14n4ol @xxromanoffxx @007giu @marvelwomenslut @fishyandco

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff angst #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff fanfic #natasha romanoff fanfiction #black widow #marvel #natasharomanoff #natasha romanov #natasha x reader #natasha x y/n #natasha romanoff fluff #natasha romanoff comfort fic #natasha romanoff smut #natasha romonova #natasha romanoff x fem!readerr #natasha romanoff x fem!reader fluff #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff x reader smut #natasha #natasha x fem!reader #natasha romanoff x reader fluff #natasha romanoff x reader angst

[fxckmiup]

𝐒𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐠𝐞 𝐩𝐭. 𝟔 ♤♞

A/n: This is the 6th and FINAL part of a Natasha Romanoff mini-series y’all and this mini-series is absolutely inspired by a book called The Stripper (camren) on Wattpad, iykyk.

Genre: ♞ Comfort/Hurt | ♤ Angst |

Warnings: None, I think? If there is please let me know!  

Pairing: CEO!Natasha x Secretary!Reader

Summary: Y/n Y/l/n was hired to be Natasha Romanoff’s new secretary.

Words: 1,755

Part 5

Navigation || Natasha’s Masterlist || Taglist 

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"Are you dumb or are you dumb? Why the hell would you do that?" Kate exclaimed getting up from her vanity and slapping Y/n on the arm. 

"It was the heat of the moment! I caved in!" Y/n yells panicking as she paces back and forth. 

"Okay okay, well you still had your mask on right? It's not like you're going around the office kissing her so I'm sure she wouldn't know." Kate says in an attempt to calm her best friend down. 

"I called her, Ms. Romanoff." Y/n deadpans. 

"Oh, you're really trying to die, huh?" 

"Kate! Help me!" Y/n groans running her hand through her face. 

"You're playing with fire, Y/n. I don't know how to help you." Kate says a little calmer. 

"How was I supposed to know that she was going to turn out to be my boss? Or how about the fact that I never thought she'd come back here? When I saw her last week, I thought that was a one-time thing." Y/n groans as she sits herself down on her chair. 

"I'm surprised you even allowed her to come to VIP with you the first time she tried since you don't do VIP services."

"There was just something about her, the way she watched me dance was different than any horny fucker out there. So it caught my interest and now here we are," Y/n was about to continue her rambling but Kate stops her with her eyes going wide. 

"Oh my god! Don't tell me you're catching feelings for her!" Kate looks straight into Y/n's eyes through the vanity mirror. 

Y/n's lack of response was a good enough answer for her best friend, "Oh dear god, Y/n you know that can't happen." 

"I know, I know, I know." Y/n shakes her head with a loud sigh. "By the way, your other best friend is out there too." 

"Yelena?" A small smirk forms on Y/n's face as she nods in return. "Oh we're going to get fired tomorrow," Kate says throwing her hands in the air in frustration. 

"You'll be fine, just don't be dumb like me," Y/n pats her back making her roll her eyes. "Yeah, obviously, I'm too smart for that." Y/n scoffs at Kate's comment. 

Y/n starts packing her belongings after she gets into her sweats and hoodie for the night. Y/n was asked to come in on Tuesday nights to do a single solo show instead of doing a full shift like she does other days of the week. Y/n is 'Scarlet Bridge' top moneymaker and that's why the house mom of the club practically begged her to come in to at least do a solo show on Tuesdays.  Kate wasn't scheduled to come in today but she decided her best friend needed her for moral support and she's too good of a friend to not deliver. 

"Alright, I'm ready," the two best friends go to their house mom for Y/n's payout and they immediately leave after. 

The next day Y/n arrives at the office at 6 am dressed in straight high-waisted white pants with a silk creme button-up tucked in,  black stilettos, pinned straight hair, and to finish off her signature red lips. She takes a quick glance in Natasha's office to see her boss was already there, she quickly grabs everything she needed and knocks on the redhead's door.

"Come in, Ms. Y/l/n." The redhead prompts her before looking up, "good morning," she added. 

Y/n walks over to the couch where Natasha was already sitting with her laptop, "good morning, Ms. Romanoff. I hope you weren't waiting for too long." 

"Oh no, I just got here as well," Natasha says and Y/n notices that the redhead hasn't made her coffee therefore she walks over to the coffee maker. "Coffee, Ms. Romanoff?"  

Natasha feels a shiver run up her spine hearing what Y/n called her, the events of the night before with Ivy still fresh in her mind. "Ms. Romanoff?" Y/n tries again when she didn't receive an answer. 

"Uh, yes please," Natasha stutters out and whispers a quiet 'thanks' as she shakes her head to push the memories aside. The redhead looks up at Y/n watching her make coffee for the two of them and immediately her mind compares her secretary to her dancer. 

She lets her eyes wander down to her secretary's bum and notice the very close similarity of the volume to her dancer's. She then compares how Y/n's hair length was the same as Ivy's and another wave of shivers were sent down her spine when she realizes that the two women in her head had the exact same hair colour. 

When Y/n turns around Natasha's green eyes snap straight to the red lipstick that was perfectly painted on her secretary's plump lips. The redhead couldn't help but think straight back to Ivy's red lips that she always wore at every performance, especially last night's. 

She was snapped out of her thoughts once Y/n places their mugs on the coffee table with the sound of her clearing her throat. Y/n on the other hand has felt her bosses' intense eyes on her while she was making the coffee and to say she was nervous was an understatement. 

This is it, I'm getting fired today, she thought. Although her nerves were through the roof, she channelled her inner Ivy to exert some confidence. 

Both women hadn't exchanged words that weren't in regard to their work until it was time for their meeting, one reason being their tight deadline and the other being their thoughts of each other. 

The meeting came and it had dragged on throughout the morning, leaving no room for anything but their work. 

It was well after lunchtime when Y/n heard furious steps hurrying towards her desks' direction. Her eyes widen as she looks up seeing a furious Carol Danvers looking back at her. Y/n gets up quickly sending her chair flying back, she gulps as Carol gets closer but her eyes widen even more when the blonde passes towards her to Natasha's door. 

"Ms. Romanoff is currently busy-"  Y/n's attempt on stopping Carol was a waste of time as the blonde barges into the redhead's office. 

Y/n hurries behind Carol to apologize to her boss, "I tried stopping her Ms.-" 

"You shut up," Carol growls pointing her finger at the secretary halting Y/n's actions. 

"Excuse me? Who do you think you are?" Natasha furiously gets up from her seat. "You do not speak that way to Ms. Y/l/n," the redhead protectively says. 

"Oh because you're fucking her? Is that it?" Carol accusingly shoots at Natasha. 

Y/n immediately shuts the door behind her, not wanting the entire floor to hear the commotion. "Not that it's any of your business but I am not fucking her." 

"Oh yeah?" Carol moves closer to the redhead, "Is that why you ruined my damn company! What did that whore tell you that got you making calls to ruin my life, huh?" 

Y/n looks between the blonde and the redhead in shock, only finding out this information on the spot. "I would watch your mouth if I were you, Ms. Danvers. Ms. Y/l/n did not have to tell me anything for me to find out just how horrible you are. And as for your accusation of me ruining your company, I have no idea what you're talking about." 

"Don't fucking lie to me! One of Bucky's men folded and told me the truth, you should know by now how ruthless I could be if I wanted something." Y/n swallows and uncomfortably fidgets on her spot at her ex-fiance's words. 

"Are you here to threaten me? Because you're lucky you aren't sitting behind bars at the moment." Natasha chastises Carol who only scoffs in return. 

"I'm here to ruin the woman who ruined my life," the redhead was ready for whatever Carol was about to throw at her but she was appalled to see Carol turn to Y/n. 

"You planned this didn't you?" Carol walks closer to Y/n who finds herself taking a step back in fear. 

"Danvers, you need to leave," Natasha commands her as she goes around her table and cautiously takes calculated steps toward the blonde. 

"I told you I was coming back for you," Carol growls at Y/n, yanking the younger woman by gripping her arm tightly. 

Carol speeds walk towards Natasha dragging Y/n along with her, "tell her who you are. Tell your boss what you really do outside of here and I'll watch as she buries you under the fucking ground." 

Y/n's eyes shoot down to the floor, tears threatening to spill past the rim of her eyes, "tell her god damn it!" Carol yells tightening her grip on Y/n's arm. 

"If you're referring to Ms. Y/l/n being a stripper outside of here, then I already knew." 

Y/n shoots a terrified but puzzled look at Natasha who only seemed calm and collected. Carol shoves Y/n towards Natasha who only catches her and protectively pushes her behind her back, putting herself between Y/n and Carol. 

"This is golden, you're sleeping with a stripper who you hired as a secretary. You really are sleeping your way to the top, huh Y/n?" Carol laughs dryly in disbelief. 

"Leave." Natasha sends her deathly glare. 

"The world will find out about this and the great Natasha Romanoff will burn to the fucking ground and that's not a threat, that's a fucking promise." 

"I'd like to see you try." Natasha challenges and she watches as Carol Danvers once again leaves her office defeated. 

Nobody says anything for a couple of minutes and Y/n takes a few steps back, creating an appropriate distance between her and her boss. She still couldn't wrap her head around the fact that Natasha knew about her, for how long did she know? She asks herself. 

Natasha turns to face her but Y/n kept her head down, too embarrassed more than anything. The redhead walks up to her and grabs her face with a grip not too strong but not too soft either. The Russian forces Y/n to face her who couldn't deny the arousal growing within her. 

"On your knees. Now."

»»————-　♛　————-««

Thank you for coming along this journey with me, my friends. I am entertaining the idea of turning this story into a book. Please let me know if that’s something you’d be into. Thank you!

🏷️: @nats-dreamland @nooshe @marvelwomen-simp @togrowoldinv @t00manyfand0ms @silver-lotus @maia-lightwoood @when-wolves-howl @ilovehotactresses @sapphosclosefriend @onetruwhore @strangegardentaco @sadonism @msromanoffswife @mellxa

#natasha romanoff angst #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #fxckmiup #fxckmiup fics #ceo!natasha #ceo!natasha x secretary!reader #ceo!natasharomanoff #my fic #ceo!natasha romanoff #scarlet bridge fic #natasha romanov

[melancholymaz]

Inner Demons

Pairing: Older!Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Experiment!reader.

Warnings: mentions of anxiety, self harm, miscarriages, jealousy and hatred. Reader struggles with her demons and doesn't like Peter Parker. (yes that must be a warning cause who in the right mind hates Peter?)

A/N: I've been struggling heavily mentally lately, so this is just a rant angst Fic. Please proceed with caution and may you all please remember how loved you are, and how beautiful your body is.

Reach out if you're struggling.

!PLEASE DO NOT READ IF THESE ARE TRIGGERING!

Summary: Your anxiety is at an high, and intrusive thoughts get the best of you. Nat does what she does best and comforts you.

Was it about you? it must be.

Clint, Sam and Rhodey are standing off near the kitchen, talking between themselves occasionally laughing. They each steal little glances at you every few minutes.

It makes you sweat.

It makes your hands tremble as you flip the page of your book.

Your mind is racing, Your eyes would be too if you didn't want to make it obvious that you were on to them.

They're laughing at you.

They don't actually like you.

You mentally thank yourself for not sitting on the chair with your back turned.

Wanda's sitting on the couch to your left with a frown, and you can see her eyebrow twitch slightly.

Was she mad at you? Are you annoying her?

What did I do?

if you had the guts, you'd ask.

But really, you didn't want to know.

"Hey Y/N, Hi Wanda, beautiful day outside." Peter Parker walks in, must have come straight for school.

"Hey Pete, how was your day?" Wanda replies happily, as if she didn't just wear a frown that would make anyone quiver in their boots. You don't reply, which Peter is now used to.

He knows you don't like him. He just doesn't understand why. You were only two years older, the closest Avenger to his age.

You didn't just not like him. You despised the poor boy.

He doesn't know that you share the same abilities. He doesn't know you are his alter-ego.

You didn't want him to know. You refused to be on missions with him, and Fury respected that. To Peter you were the Widow's younger girlfriend who went on the occasional mission.

HYDRA wanted you to be his exact replica. And you were. Just less nice and bubbly.

When HYDRA caught wind of spider-man, their creativity got to work.

And because of your natural athleticism, you were the perfect candidate for their experiment.

You were their perfect soldier for two years following the success.

You hated Peter for allowing Spider-man to exist. You felt bad, but the pain he caused just for existing was enough for you.

The sound of all five people in the kitchen apart from you all laughing and conversing makes your heartbeat fasten. You can feel the attack coming from a mile away.

You abruptly jump from your seat, causing everyone to go silent and watch in confusion as you rush down the hallway.

You pray your girlfriend is still training, you don't want her seeing you at your lowest.

As soon as you're in the comfort of your room you collapse to your knees crying. You're hyperventilating, your hands are shaking and you can't seem to grasp a single thought. You manage to open your eyes only to see your reflection through the tall mirror.

The sight of you on your knees crying like a baby makes you sick.

Why can't you do things right?

Why does everyone hate you? Don't you hate yourself enough?

You're useless.

Ugly.

She doesn't actually love you.

She's pitying you.

You look at yourself and cry harder.

Your unborn baby is lucky.

At that intrusive thought, you start punching yourself, hating your body for failing to do what it's made to do. You're so caught up in your inner demons you don't hear the bedroom door open and close, or the familiar arms wrap around you.

"You are beautiful my solnishko." Natasha never ceases to amaze you in her ability to read you. Nat always know's what's wrong without you having to say it. "The team loves you. They'd be lost without you, you make their days more brighter."

You wrap your arms around your girlfriend, hiding your face in her shirt.

"It's okay my love, we will get another chance."

That sentence is the one that makes you pull back and look in her eyes. You can see the tears in her eyes threatening to spill, and you can't help but kiss under her eye when one finally does.

"I should be the one comforting you." Is all the red-head says. Too numb to say anything, you rub her knuckles and look at her in a way only she would understand.

you do so without trying.

Nat gives you a gentle smile before gently kissing your forehead.

You don't deserve her.

"I love you so much, and can't wait to grow old with you, and only you."

#natasha romanoff angst #natasharomanoff #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #natasha x reader #black widow x reader #mentally fucked #original story #fanfic #avengers x y/n #avengers angst