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ljnsdump · 10 months

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If It's Meant To Be, It Will Be (Jaehyun x F!reader)

Johnny x F!reader

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

When a heart knows, it knows. There's no explaining it. You can only trust it.

Genre: M/F, exes to lovers, angst, fluff, slight smut, suggestive, oneshot

Warnings: light smut, secret/hidden pregnancy, cursing

Word count: 6,187

My third published story! I am so excited for this. This is one of the stories that has always been in my vault for the longest time just like the other three. I hope you enjoy reading it! I apologized for not posting as much, college is too much. But I hope I can post a lot now since it's already the summer break. Also, I'm not the best when it comes to writing smut, please understand that I'm still learning.

Read at your own risk.

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Before going home, Y/N goes to the local grocery store to get milk for the babies. They're growing so fast and it doesn't take a long time to run out of their milk. She then grabs a bag of candies and cookies as well.

Her 5-year old twins sat on the stairs outside their house waiting for her with their nanny. When they see her car pull up in front of the gates, the two run and the nanny immediately comes after them.

"Mommy!" They yell and jump in excitement. "We miss you so much!"

Y/N pouts as her heart warms at the sight. She immediately gets out of the car and gets in the property. She lowers herself down to level with her kids. "My babies, I love you both so much. I miss you both a lot too." The two hold her hand as they go in. "Helen, can you please grab the things I bought, it's in the backseat of the car."

"Okay." Helen nods.

"Now what have my favourite babies been doing all day?"

"Mommy, I was drawing with nanny! We drew flowers, and coloured them and put the sun and clouds!" Her little girl, Janelle says. "Julien was playing with cars! He hit nanny on her leg as well."

"Julien, did you say sorry to nanny?" Y/N asks with a stern face and her son nods.

"Yes, I hugged nanny because I didn't mean to do it."

She smiles and hugs both. "Very good! I will give you chocolates for being a good girl and a good boy. But let mommy change her clothes first." The two nod and go to play. Helen, who was following them with the groceries, puts them away on the counter. "Helen, just watch them for a few minutes. I'll just change and then once I'm out you can take your break as well."

Helen nods.

Y/N has left the eye of the public when she was forced to break up with her baby daddy. He didn't know she was pregnant. Heck, she didn't even know she was pregnant when his parents casted her away. So she decided to live in a small town away from him and his family. She's been suffering all these years so she's fighting everyone for her kids. She even separated from her parents because of the fear that they might take the kids away because she was earning minimum wage before.

She's working in a small company right now that develops environmentally friendly alternatives for non-biodegradable packaging. She started out as a mere researcher and now she's one of the executives. This year they are planning to expand their business and endorse it to bigger companies for development. And they are doing their first pitch after her weekend off.

They are going on a business trip for two days. That's why she packed the bags for her kids as well because she's definitely bringing them. She has to.

"Helen, remember when I told you about my business trip? We're gonna be leaving on Sunday afternoon. So please make sure you have your things ready before then, okay?" She instructs the nanny. "I'll give you double pay for Sunday since that's supposed to be your day off."

"Yes, I'll be ready by then. I'll come in early as well so I can help you prepare."

Night time came, Julien and Janelle were sleeping peacefully on their own beds. She observes the two as she overthinks about what can happen if she brings them to the city. Well, it's a big city so it's not even sure if they would get a peak of the shadows of the people she's avoiding.

As they are travelling, Y/N plays songs and they sing along to it. Y/N is musically inclined and she wants the kids to adapt that from her. She wants them to have music as part of their relaxation, and bonding time.

They go straight to their hotel which the company already had reserved for Y/N and she just got an extra room for Helen.

She and her colleagues had a quick meeting during dinner just to run through their presentation for tomorrow morning.

They are 5 in total, the president of the company, Y/N, and three researchers who lead the development of their product.

Later that night, she took the kids for a stroll on the streets. They were so amazed by the flashing lights, the huge buildings and the cars passing by. She got them everything they wanted because she just wanted them to have the best time of their life.

Morning comes, Y/N immediately prepares herself. She puts on her formal black trousers and blazer over her white shirt. Simple yet it made her look very elegant and sophisticated. She styles her hair, puts on light makeup before slipping on her stilettos. Grabbing her bags and keys, she doesn't forget to kiss the two who're sleeping soundly.

"Cheer on mum." She whispers at them.

She gets there on time, her team just arrived as well. They are led to the conference room, where it is only them in their first and immediately starts preparing for their presentation. Y/N observes the seating arrangement, and plans on tactics and ways to make it visually pleasing to the audience.

"I'm kind of nervous." One of the researchers, Taeil says as he shakes his hands vigorously.

Y/N just smiles. "That's actually very normal. This is a big crowd and they're the real deal. But I'm confident about our product, so I trust you three to present it with confidence as well."

The executives started coming in, filling in the empty seats. "5 minutes." The moderator of the conference tells them.

Y/N immediately runs out to grab a drink of water on the nearest station. But her path was blocked with someone who had a smug look on his face.

"Found you." Jae says and her eyes widens.

"W-what are you doing here?"

He shrugs. "I'm just one of the board members."

"What?!"

"Don't worry, I'll make them say yes to your pitch." He winks and goes in.

It's like her spirit just left her body. Why is he here? He's a board member? How? He owns his own company so why is he still going around looking for more to acquire?!

She snaps back to reality when one of her teammates calls her. "Miss Y/N! 3 minutes!"

Instead of getting water, she immediately texts Helen out of fear.

To: Helen

Don't ever let anyone in your rooms, watch the kids intently please and don't let them out.

Y/N clears her throat as the introduction begins. Even if she is panicking after seeing his ex lover, she stands there with all the elegance she can give.

"We in Lively Co. had always been researching for the best alternatives for our common packaging in the market. We believe that we developed the best product for food storage considering the materials used, money it costs, and the benefit it gives to the environment." She starts and then it goes on before she introduces their research team to discuss product specific details.

Jae looks at her proudly. He's not even hiding the smile on his face that Y/N can't seem to avoid. He's always had the most gorgeous face and now all his features are more developed, he's more matured. Jawline sharper, eyebrows bushier, undercut hair, ear piercings. God, he looks so good.

The CEO of the company seated in the center smiles and claps after the presentation. "Good. It's very good. As you may know, we don't invite companies to pitch unless we see real potential on their products. We actually have decided about this after we took a look at the research papers, samples and all documents you submitted about this product. We just wanted to see your perception and how you'll present it to us because we also look out for people we work with. And it's a good thing we did this today, you guys are so good and I look forward to working with your company." He shakes hands with the president of the mere Lively Co, while the four behind hugs each other, crying in happiness.

Y/N smiles when Taeil turns to her. "I told you."

After the meeting, they are also invited to lunch and then are given a tour around the company. Fortunately, Jae is no longer with them during the tour.

When she goes back to the hotel after a long day, she sees Jae in the lobby, legs on top of the other, watching her walk in and her heart starts pounding again. He's in the same building as her kids.

"You guys go ahead, I just have to drop by the cafe." She lies to her teammates and watches them take the elevator.

He then walks to her. "Hi."

She grabs his wrist and pulls him out of the hotel. "What are you doing here?!"

"Just wanted to congratulate you. You did so well there, baby." Smiling slightly but she shakes her head.

"You shouldn't be here!"

"Why?"

"I don't know, maybe I don't wanna see you!"

He stops and looks at her face. She can't even lie. "Five years and you still haven't worked on your lying skills."

"I'm not lying, Jae."

"Tell me why you left without saying anything. Why when I went to your apartment, it was already empty and we were just cuddling there the night before that. I should have known that you hugged me the entire night, crying for no reason at all was because you were about to leave me."

"Your parents paid me to leave you." She admits. "Now please go away because I don't have the money to refund them."

Jae's eyes burn in anger all of a sudden. "And you exchanged me for money?"

"I had no choice, you know it's still gonna end regardless of what the reason maybe because it all boils down to me not being the best pair for you."

"Who are they to say that you're not the best for me?!"

"They're your parents."

"It doesn't matter! They don't matter! You know I love you so much, I was so ready to be with you!"

"It's all in the past now. Just go."

Their third and final day, they visit one of the plants of the company then go back to the building to have a small gathering to bid goodbyes. Jae was not able to attend the previous schedules they had the past few days but he definitely is not missing the get together.

As she's going to the conference room, her phone buzzes on her hand so takes a look at it.

From: Helen

Y/N, Julien is having a hard time breathing. He's having an asthma attack.

She immediately replies.

To: Helen

Use the inhaler.

From: Helen

I think it's empty.

Y/N bit her lip, looking so worried and her teammates turned to her.

"What's going on?" One asks.

"I-I need to go." She replies, in a hurry. "My son needs to be taken to the hospital."

Their eyes widen. "You have a son?!"

But before she could answer, she already ran off while dialling 911 on her phone.

Later on, Jae arrives and he notices that Y/N was not there. He goes to ask their president. "Is Y/N not with you guys?"

"She left. She said she has to take her son to the hospital." She replies.

Jae's eyebrows furrow. "Her son?" Then immediately goes out, meeting his assistant outside. "Let's go to the hospital nearest to the Diamond Hotel."

Y/N holds and plays with her son's hand as Julien is getting nebulized. He's scared of the sound it makes, that's why she's holding him.

"Was he always asthmatic?" The doctor asks.

She nods. "Yeah, he got it from his dad. He's asthmatic too and severely allergic to seafood."

Jae hears that and he immediately knows. "Y/N." He calls and she stands up in surprise, trying to cover her son.

"Why are you here?!"

"He's mine, isn't he?"

The doctor quietly calls the nurse over. "You guys can talk outside, we'll take care of Julien."

Jae immediately pulls her out of the emergency room. But before they can talk, Janelle runs to them and hugs her mom's legs. "Mommy! Where's Juls? Is he okay mom?"

The fright on her face is something that you can never compare with anything. Her heart is raging and she knows she's done for.

"Helen, can you take a walk with Janelle? I-I just need to speak to Mr. Jung."

Helen immediately takes Janelle away from them but Jae's eyes never leave the little girl. He can't believe that they have kids together, twins on top of that! The two look so much alike and they got some of their features from him like his bushy eyebrows, and eyes.

"They're my kids, aren't they?" She's on the verge of crying but Jae's eyes remain consistent. This is the only way to bring her back. After all those years he looked for her, wanting her to come back. "Y/N." He calls her again.

She frowns then whines. "They're mine."

He just wants to caress her face, and wipe her tears but didn't. If he shows her any remorse, she'll take advantage of it and talk him into keeping the kids to herself. "You hid them from me."

"Your family hates me, Jae! What was I supposed to do? I loved you so much but they kept pushing me! They kept threatening me!" She cries. "I left the world for Julien and Janelle, Jae. You will never take them away from me. I've sacrificed myself for them and you can't just come back to my life and take them like I don't matter."

"You are my first priority, Y/N." He replies. "I'm taking you and our kids back. My family will never have a say about it. And I will fight all of them who fight you."

She shakes her head. "You can't. You don't know what happens when you turn around, Jae."

"I will."

"No."

"I really don't want to involve my lawyers in this, Y/N." He says warningly.

She always loses. He always gets the better of her. "You can visit the kids then. But they stay with me."

"Love, you live far from this city I believe. Plus you're going back to your home today, aren't you?"

"I can request a leave. We can stay here until the weekend."

He smiles slightly and pinches her cheeks. "Thanks." That's definitely enough time for him to bring her back. "They're twins! How on earth did we happen to make two at once." Y/N couldn't help but cough a laugh at what he said. The happiness he feels knowing he has children with her is beyond the heavens. He can't help but pull her into a hug. "I can't wait to spoil them with everything they want in this world." Resting his chin on top of her head as he imagines all the fun activities that he has in mind for their kids.

She pulls away, still feeling skeptical about all this because she knows that Jae will do everything to get his children. She just knows.

"Miss Y/L/N,, your son is all good now. He was such a good boy the entire time." The doctor says. "Now, I'll go ahead and prepare the prescription for his inhaler, and Nurse Wendy will take care of the papers."

Nurse Wendy smiles at them and says, "Follow me."

They go to their son first who is sitting cutely and behaving on one of the beds as his feet dangle. "Mommy! I'm okay now! I behaved with the doctors." He grins which earned him a hug and kiss from his mom.

"My baby is all grown up now, mommy is so proud."

"And daddy."

Y/N blushes when he hears Jae speak from behind her. "I'm sorry." She mumbles. "Love, your dad is here too."

He pinches her waist first before picking up his son and carrying him in his arms. "Hi, sport! It's good to see you!"

"He's my dad?" The little guy asks and the two nod. "How about Janelle? Who's Janelle's dad?"

Y/N couldn't help but laugh at his innocence. "He is also Janelle's dad."

When finally they're done in the ER, they went out and went to Janelle. Julien stays in his dad's arms and Janelle looks up to them.

"Mommy, who's that?" She points at Jae.

"It's dad, love." She replies briefly. The little girl's eyes widen.

"Really?"

Jae crouched down and stretched his empty arm to his daughter. "Yes, sweetheart." She runs and hugs him and he immediately catches her.

"Careful." Y/N holds Jae's back to stop him from falling. He reassures her with a wink and carries Janelle on his other arm. "Jae, they're heavy." She tries to take Julien but he hugs his dad tight.

"No, mommy. I want dad to carry me."

Janelle butts in. "Me too."

She sighs. "Okay." Helen watched them with a big smile plastered on her face. "Helen, we'll be staying here for a few more days. Jae just wants to bond with the kids. I'll just give you the fare to go home and take a break for now. I'll just call you when we come back." The nanny nods. "But first, please help Jae's secretary get all our things from the hotel because we will be staying in Jae's house."

"No worries."

The kids are cheering and singing while their dad drives the car and Y/N is on shotgun. They are just so excited and Jae can't stop smiling.

"Juls, please slow down. We just got out of the hospital." His mom warns him.

"So, I'm thinking maybe we can make bedrooms one for each of them? They get to choose what design they want to choose." Y/N just nods in whatever he says. Jae notices that she's been quiet, she's really not saying anything nor is her face indicating any feelings. "What are you thinking about?"

She shakes her head lightly. "Nothing."

Jae sighs.

After all day of shopping and playing, they finally go to Jae's house. It isn't any less than what Y/N imagined him to be living in. It just screams luxury.

Helen is waiting there as well to bid goodbye to the family as she leaves for home before them.

Jae takes out an envelope from his pocket he got from the bank earlier and hands it to Helen. "This is my token of gratitude for you taking good care of my family. Thank you so much." She opens the envelope slightly and ses a thick bundle of cash and she immediately thanks him.

When Helen and Jae's secretary are already out, Y/N take off her heels because her legs are about to give out already.

"I'll freshen up the two so that they can go to sleep now." She tells him. "Where's the bathroom?"

"Use the one in my room." Y/N looks at him as if saying seriously? to him. "And what if we find something there that we're not meant to find?"

His eyes squint. "Like what?"

"I don't know, you tell me."

Jae shakes his head as pinches her cheeks. "I don't go fuck around." She immediately elbows his abdomen, making him grunt.

"Mouth." She warns before walking past him.

Jae offers to put the kids to bed because he noticed that Y/N is too tired to move already.

"You okay?" He asks her and then sits beside her on the couch.

She nods lazily. "Yeah, why?"

"Nothing, just wanted to check on you since the two are asleep now." He replies and then pulls her legs on top of his lap. She's about to whine but he says. "Shh. You'll wake the kids up." Then starts massaging her legs down to her toes. "I know how hard you worked for Janelle and Julien. I know how much you tried to give them the best life and you succeeded in doing that."

"My life is dedicated to them, Jae. Everything I do and I will do will be for them."

"Good because I will be the one to do everything for you." He smiles slightly. "I can't believe we made the most beautiful pair of twins on earth."

She just smiles. "I'm tired."

"Yeah, I'll carry you to bed." Jae stands up and carries her to his bedroom.

Y/N immediately punches his shoulder when she sees where they're heading. "Jung Jaehyun, stop right there. I'm not sleeping in your bedroom."

"Yes, you are. Why would I let you sleep on a bed that's not my own when you're in my house?" He asks, as if what she wants is the most ridiculous thing in the world. "And based on how I remember it, we never broke up. Maybe we just took time off but we never broke up."

She laughs. "We took time off for 5 years?"

Jae lays her down on the bed. "Yes, and I have never sought for anyone else because I always knew I'd find you." Then flicks her forehead. "But you did."

"What?!"

"That guy who you hugged during the conference. You were smiling at him."

She rolls her eyes at what he said. She knows that he knows he's just a colleague. "I'll sleep now."

"Good night, mommy." He whispers while planting a kiss on her cheeks.

He then positions himself next to her, nestling under the covers. "Good night, daddy." She mumbles but Jae definitely heard, drawing a big smile from him.

The next day came, they had breakfast and decided to stay indoors since it's raining outside. They're in the living room all bunched up under a big blanket while they watch cartoons. The kids specifically asked the two to sit together with them.

"Mommy, daddy, moms and dads kiss so how come you two don't?" Janelle asks innocently.

Y/N chokes on her own spit after hearing that while Jae nods at her daughter, "I know, right? Mom doesn't want me to kiss her."

The two turn to their mom. "Why not?"

"Because dad did not brush his teeth." She laughs hysterically while Jae's hand sneaks under the sheets to pinch her side.

"Hey." He calls her out. "I did." And defends himself.

She continues to laugh. "You don't have proof."

"I can kiss you right and you'd be the one to tell if I brushed my teeth or not."

"Stop being so childish."

The two little people took their afternoon naps. Jae and Y/N finally have time to clean up and prepare for dinner.

Jae's arms sneak around Y/N's waist as she washes the plates they used for their snacks. "We can have dinner at Sailor tonight. Then we can walk by the boulevard."

"Yeah, that's fine." She agrees.

"Kiss me." Pouting his lips near her face.

"Jae." She warns. "Stop bothering me."

He sneakers and lets her go. "Fine, but after that, while the two are still sleeping, we can go ahead and prepare for dinner."

"Yeah."

So after she washed everything, she went to their room. He sits there shirtless, while reading a book. Her cheeks flushed with heat upon seeing his abs, biceps and arms on display.

She goes to the bathroom to change and prepare. Then comes back a couple of minutes later wearing a maroon, flowy, mini dress that hugs her tiny waistline just enough, showing off her collarbone, and perfect looking cleavage. She just curls her hair, forming big waves and then her make up.

Jae's eyes stays at her for a couple of seconds, raking her body, observing her figure and entire look. "You look hot." He blurts out.

"Thanks, I intended to." She sits on the armrest of the couch, crossing her legs and arms. "So what do you want to happen after this? We will be going back home on Sunday."

"Why can you not stay here?"

"First of all, I have a job." She says. "Second, why would I?"

"Because I want you with me. I want to be able to see my family everyday and take care of them."

She snorts. "That's weird, because based on how I remember before, you were working most of the time and you almost had no time for me. Now if you have no time for one, how much more for three."

Jae groans. "Look, that was before. I'm not leaving you behind now especially after knowing what it's like to live without you."

"We are not getting back together, Jae."

"Why not?"

Scenes from her past with Jae's family come back like they have just been dug out from the grave. "I-I just can't."

"Y/N, what will make you come back to me? I will literally do everything. I just can't let you go after looking for you for 5 fucking years."

"I can't leave my job."

"I can request for you to be transferred here. There's really no point of you working, I'll be the one to work for us."

"I really need to think about it."

He nods in agreement. "No rush, just take all the time you need."

They just stared at each other for a few seconds, observing each other's face comfortably. "Who told you to get piercings?"

His stares linger because of how tempting and vulnerable she looks right now. "You." He replies. "You said I look good with them."

"Well, I was right."

Jae pats his lap. "Come here."

"Why?"

"So we can make out?" She couldn't prevent a laugh at his bluntness. She walks towards him as he reaches both his arms to her. "I can't imagine how you fit two babies in this body, babe."

"You would've been turned off if you saw me pregnant. I was a pig."

He tilts his head to the side, furrowing his eyebrows. "Okay, first of all, never say that again. If one gets pregnant of course their body gets big, because there's a baby in them. They need to eat a lot because they're basically eating for two. So don't say that." His hands hold her by the waist and lift her up to set her on his lap. "I love you." Planting a kiss on her lips and watching her reaction. "I miss you."

Y/N holds his face and puts her lips on his. He holds her waist tighter as he devours her lips, like that's the only thing he's been craving for this whole time. His arms eventually find its way wrapping around her waist and the free hand holding her steady by the nape, turning her in all angles to make sure he tastes her the best way. She’s breathless and her lipsstick is all messed up now but he doesn't really care.

"Jae." She gasps.

He breathes against her lips. "Hmm?"

She doesn't say anything and just puts feathery kisses all over his face as her eyes tear up. Nobody knows how much she wanted this for the last 5 years. This is the only thing she asked for, just him and she can't help but feel like crying when she finally got what she wanted. "I fucking miss you. And thank you for accepting our children, I was honestly worried if you didn't want them. I was scared that when you found out, you'd wish they never existed."

Jae holds her back firmly, looking at her face. "Why? I would never do that. You know that you're the best thing that happened to me and all I ever wanted was to make a family with you."

She laughs. "I know, it's just that there are really things in my head that I wish aren't there."

"Well, it's time for you to stop thinking about those because I am the happiest right now with you, Janelle and Julien." Patting her head lightly. "And I really appreciate you making their names start with the initial of my first name."

Y/N smiles sheepishly. "Yeah, I just can't leave you out of the picture."

The lights of the restaurant shine perfectly on them. Jae and Y/N have gotten sweeter, and intimate. They are almost in sync, attending to both their children.

"What do you want to eat, love?" Jae asks Janelle, showing her the menu book.

Janelle points at the raspberry tart. "I want this."

"Jan, dessert is for later." Her mom reminds her.

"If she wants it--" Jae gets cut off by Y/N's glare and he just chuckles. "Mom's right."

As the waitress is taking their order, Y/N notices her batting her eyelashes to her man, smiling flirtatiously and suggestively. That annoys her to the bones, she holds Jae's hand. He notices it, looking at her with a comforting smile and says, "Love, what do you want?" Slowly massaging her hand.

"The pan seared scallops would do." She smiles.

As they were about to leave after dinner, Jae bumped into one of the people he knows in the industry.

"Jae! It's good to see you, man!" The guy gives Jae a manly hug. "Who are you with?"

"Oh, I'm with my family." He replies. "This is Y/N, my wife." Y/N kinda gets stunned and glances at Jae before offering her hand to the man. "And our kids, Janelle and Julien."

The man, Yuta, gets surprised. "I didn't know you had a family!"

"I actually messed up somehow, that's why I only was able to be with them now." He replies without hesitations. And Y/N has never ever thought she'd be more attracted to Jae. Nothing more attractive than a man who admits his mistakes.

As they drive home, Jae notices Y/N constantly glancing at him so he asks, "Is something wrong?"

"You were so honest telling that man earlier about how you messed up."

"That's because that's something I cannot deny." He shrugs. "And you, were you jealous with the waitress earlier?"

She scoffs. "I wasn't jealous. I was just under the impression that you were not interested in her so I did what I could to save you." Sarcastically, while crossing her arm. "Was I wrong to do that?"

"No, you weren't. I wasn't interested in her. I have you."

Y/N shrugs. "Whatever."

"Mommy, Jan is sleeping." They hear Julien from the back.

"Yes, love." She replies. "Just let her sleep, we're almost home."

They arrive home and Jae carries Janelle to their bedroom while Y/N walks with Julien. Then they prepare the two for bed and stay in there until the two are already asleep.

When they walk out of their kids' room, Jae asks, "How about you, babe? You good?"

She sighs. "Yeah." Then goes to their room.

Jae catches up, pulling her towards him and then locking her in with his arms around her. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, Jae. I'm just tired."

He scans her face. "You look really beautiful." Whispers, then his eyes stayed on her lips.

"More beautiful than the waitress?" She jokes.

Jae can't help but cough out a laugh. "You're funny. I didn't even look at the waitress."

"I know, I was watching."

He pins her to the door and smashes his lips against hers. He's got the rough hold on her, and she just went along with the kiss, letting him dominate her. One of his hands slides down her dress and grabs her ass making her moan.

"You like that, huh?" He smirks against her lips. "You've just gotten more irresistible, Y/N. I'm holding myself back from bending you against my bed and fucking you so hard."

She pushes him back a little, locking their eyes together. "Why are you holding back?"

"Because our children are sleeping just a few rooms down the hall and I remember how loud you can get."

Y/N rolls her eyes. "I promise, I'll be quiet."

"You just wanna be railed, don't you?"

Without hesitations, she says "Yes."

He places a quick peck on her lips then starts kissing her neck, sucking on her skin, marking her as his.

When Jae woke up, Y/N was no longer on their bed. He quickly washes his face and brushes his teeth before going out only to find the three in the kitchen. Y/N is cooking while the two watch her curiously, asking their mom constantly about whatever she was doing while munching on some fruits. Of course, Y/N answers them all with patience.

"Hi, dad." Janelle hugs his dad's legs when she sees him walk towards them.

Jae lifts then puts her in his arms. "Good morning, princess." He kisses her cheek then goes to ruffle his son's hair. "Good morning, sport."

Y/N watches him adoringly as he greets their kids. Jae then goes to her with a knowing smirk plastered on his face, snaking his free arm around her waist and kissing her cheek. "Good morning, love." The smell of mint on his breath lingers.

"Mom already allows you to kiss her?" The innocent ones ask.

Her mom pinches her cheeks. "Yes, because he already brushed his teeth." Chuckling at what she said.

Jae scoffs and pokes her side. "I always do."

"Stop, I'm cooking." She tells him. "You guys go prepare the table, this is almost done."

She watches his back as he walks away. He's sexy as fuck.

Jae helps Y/N bring the food to the table. They've been stealing glances, kisses and touches like teenagers again and it filled Y/N's stomach with butterflies and got her heart pounding. She's never been this happy and in love again.

"Jae." She calls him as they eat. "We need to go back home soon."

He looks at her tapping his finger on his fork, deep in his thoughts. "I'll go with you guys. I can't let you go, Y/N. We'll go and get all your belongings then come back here."

Y/N is very hesitant about the abrupt decision. They haven't given it enough thought. She wants to be with him and so do their kids for sure but there are a lot of things to consider.

As the kids are playing, in the living room, Y/N goes to Jae who was cleaning the dishes. She just leans by the sink, not saying anything.

He glances at her for a second. "What's in your head, love?"

"Everything?"

Jae puts the last plate on the rack and dries his hand. "You're worried about moving in with me." He states. "But there's no need to feel that way. I can't say this enough but you and our kids are the only thing that matters to me now. I can't... no, I won't let you go."

"It's just happening too quickly."

Jaehyun bites his lip, looking down as he thinks. Then he nods. "Alright. I'm not gonna force you to move right away but I'm still going with you when you go home."

"I might also change my mind. It's just that right now, it's too scary for me."

He just pulls her into a hug. They were deep into their conversation that they didn't notice their children sneaking up to them, embracing their parents legs because those are the only things they can reach.

Y/N tears up when she sees the two.

"Why are we hugging?" Julien asks cutely and innocently. Jae picks him up while Y/N picks Janelle up too.

Both Jae and Y/N look at each other. He wipes the tears rolling from her eyes down to her cheeks and that's the only time she noticed that she was crying. "Because mommy's just feeling so happy." He tells the kids.

"Isn't this better?" Y/N asks herself.

"Okay, you guys know what we will do today?" Jae asks. The children excitedly respond while Y/N is curious too. "We will go shopping to pick out designs for your rooms."

"Yehey!" The two cheer.

"Daddy, I want purple with fairies and princesses."

"I want cars and airplanes!"

Y/N watches her kids play. She remembers the looks on their faces when she introduced Jae as their dad. They were so happy and excited. Here, they have access to everything. They can have everything they need. Jae had been so responsible and just a good... scratch that, perfect, willing dad.

"Jae." She calls him softly and he immediately turns to her and hums. "We'll move in with you."

His eyes widen and a big smile spreads on his face as he embraces her and showers her with kisses on her face. "I love you so much. I can't wait to be with you forever."

"I love you too." She pouts and buries herself under his embrace. "I hope you know that. My hesitation was never about you."

-----

A little to long, my bad.

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jiamour · 1 year

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❝ sunny side up!¡ 🖇️🍳

✎ pairing: ex!jaemin x roommate!jeno x reader

✎ genre: fluff, roommates, angst, crack, ex’s2lovers

✎ warnings: i’m sure there’s some but idk rn

✎ a/n: i made another wip i’ll never finish // just posting it so it can sit on my blog

¿ poly au ?

✁ - in which you move into a new apartment only to find out one of your new roommates is your ex and the other is hopelessly oblivious and keeps insisting you need roommate bonding time - -

alternatively: self indulgent ‘the way i loved you’ jaemin x ‘stay stay stay’ jeno

playlists: ☹ awkward familiarity ☻ novelty love

dear diary,

✎ introductions

✎ day 1

bonus: 1 -> 2

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phoxphenex · 1 year

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texts with ex boyfriends WayV and saying "missing you comes in waves, today I'm downing"?

𝗧𝗘𝗫𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗘𝗫 (𝗪𝗔𝗬𝗩)

#pls ignore the typo #scenarios #nct social media au #nct #nct texts #wayv #wayv texts #wayv kun #wayv ten #wayv winwin #wayv xiaojun #wayv hendery #wayv yangyang #wayv as your ex

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badasgirlfriend · 5 months

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i miss you, im sorry - profiles ii

choi sena- she's the best at giving mixed signals. one second she's threatening to chop her ex's head off , the next second she wants to plaster him with kisses . despite her bitchy attitude towards most people, she's a surprisingly lovable ball of sunshine once you begin to know her. let's not forget the massive ego she has, which you can only see the end of it with a good pair of binoculars

eli- the ultimate queen of chaos. this girl wakes up and chooses violence every day, always finding herself in dramatic situations every other day without fail. she flirts with everyone as a joke and gets surprised when people actually fall for her, but she only has eyes on someone else. mark's biggest hater

lola- shopaholic? that's her. she lives and breathes fashion, spending hours shopping for that perfect outfit, or that perfect pair of shoes. a true friend to those close to her, she takes being the number one shooter for her friends incredibly seriously. once you get to know her better, you'll see a completely different side to her, a wild and crazy girl who's always looking for fun and adventure.

jeon somi- the softest girl you'll ever meet, everyone loves her, and for good reason. she never fails to draw in everyone around her with her charm. if you told someone she burned down a house, they'd probably reply with "but she didn't mean it!". being the oldest in her friend group she took the mother role, always having snacks in her bag for her best friends

park jimin- the biggest womanizer who knows how to get every girl he sets his eyes on. he's completely unphased by being the only boy in the friend group, and in fact, it only serves to attract even more girls his way. he was born to be sassy. you'll never catch him wearing the same outfit twice

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lattaeyongs · 1 year

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[2:18 PM] “I wish it didn’t have to be like this,” you say sadly to now ex!Donghyuck. The weather was just as gloomy as your emotions as you slide on your sunglasses so Donghyuck didn’t have to see you cry. But a tear rolled down your cheek, giving you away. Donghyuck reaches out and wipes your tear with his thumb. His eyes bore into yours shielded in your dark lens. “I wish it could be different too,” he says. “We just aren’t meant to be right now.” He holds your hand one last time before disappearing into the parking garage. The sound of his loud sports car signals his exit from campus, and you turn the other way.

#nct #nct angst #nct scenarios #nct imagines #lee donghyuck #nct au #exes au #nct 127 angst #nct dream angst #haechan #haechan imagines #haechan scenarios #haechan angst #haechan smut

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rosietaeyongswife · 2 years

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love in the dark | lee taeyong

LOVE IN THE DARK PARING: lee taeyong x reader GENRE: angst, break up, established relationship WC: 4,5k SUMMARY: taeyong was your perfect boyfriend ever since both of you have started dating. you were his first true love and his life wasn’t great when you were absent. taeyong gave you his all and everything you have ever needed but it wasn’t enough. people changes and develop while growin up, and maturing. more freuquent fights between you two are growing on both of you. issue with literally everything from your side was getting worst. taeyong gave you love, and you did love him but you couldn’t love him in the dark anymore. TW: cursing, usage of drugs, mental illnes (depression), addiction

“y/n i made breakfast.”

voice of your boyfriend made you shift from your position. you checked time and it was 8:20 in the morning on saturday. your lovely boyfriend woke up before you just to surprise you with another special breakfast he made for both of you.

“coming.”

even after all this time you were dating each other he still does that. a little things you have never imagined about when you first met taeyong. gulit tripped over you as you were walking again towards kitchen knowing damn well you have never done such a things for him.

“i made some kimchi toasts and egg, here you go.” before taeyong put down plates he kissed you in the cheek as he always do to welcome you in the morning. “your tea will be done in a few seconds.”

“taeyong.” you sat down. “i told you so many times to not wake up before me just to make breakfast. i can do it myself.”

“you don’t like my meals?” he pouted. “if you want to, i can-”

“no, it’s not about that. i love your meals but i don’t want you to do it all the time. you desevre rest and i should do these kind of thins more often.”

“it’s not a problem at all. i enjoy doing it.”

taeyong smiled softly and your heart ached at the sight. meeting person like lee taeyong was almost impossible among people these times. he was everything a girl possibly wanted because taeyong was caring. he was lovely. he was gentleman. he loved you. he respected you. he wanted the best for you. many would kill for that because at the top of that taeyong was the most handsome guy you have ever laid your eyes on. ideal.

but taeyong was also person with a lot of issues who met you in a similiar condition. well, therapy with mr. park maybe wasn’t helping at all but at least you met there love of your life as you supposed at that time. being seventeen year old with a depression sucked and going to therapy only made your issues wider. your mother was concerned but at the same time couldn’t believe you. how could a teenager had a depression? she would always brushed it off until you almost killed yourself by impuls. she called all the right people and that’s how you found yourself in a therapy with mr. park. you supposed he was sociopath or psychopath because of the way he was talking.

“y/n, how many times do we see each other?” older man with crossed legs asked while touch the globe. “hmm?”

“four times a week.”

“exactly.” he smiled. “isn’t it weird how many times do we meet? i am a stranger whom you vent to because of your issues with mental health. i listen to you and then we should find solution but there’s none at this moment. you’re lazy for not doing anything with it.”

“excuse me?” you smirked. “aren’t you suppose to help me? i’ve been here for two months and there is no changes.”

“because you won’t take an action. you’re still stuck in a same cycle.” he rolled his eyes and threw globe on the floor. “you’re revolving around yourself but you don’t want to step further to see it from other point of view. i’m here to help you realize that.”

“i am so done with your bullshit mr. park. you always tell me this. always.” you shrugged. “and your ass advices doesn’t work on me. i’ve tried everything. i did things you asked me to and guess what.” you bended. “i feel the same fuckin way.”

mr. park was watching you as you stood up.

“because you’re not trying. you have to see it yourself. if you don’t want help you will never recover.”

“you know what?” you took your things “fuck you. i don’t need your bullshit which never helps. bye.”

you stormed out of the room at the same time as someone from room in front of one. he bumped into you which almost made you throw hands at him. as soon as your eyes locked together you forgot about being mad at boy who bumped into you. he has pretty silver hair and bueatiful eyes that soften when saw you. few seconds passed and none of you break an eye contact until someone asked you to move.

“sorry, should’ve been more careful.” he spoke with soft voice. “my bad.”

“no, no. it’s not a problem at all.” you smiled awkwardly. “i also should pay attention.”

boy looking at you smiled wider and you could swear he looked like some kind of an angel.

“then we’re good.”

you looked at him but turned around as soon as you felt he was still staring. a guy was looking at you as you leave but you didn’t turn back. after he bumped into you, you could notice room he left. it was room number eight. number eight was room belonging to mrs. kim jisoo who was an addiction therapist and psychologist. many freaks attendt therapy sessions in place called “health clinic kim&choi”. daily there is a lot of screams or weird guys trying to knock someone down. you witnessed most of this but the worst rooms were eight and twelve on second floor. people entering these rooms were most fucked up ones since one room was for addiction and second one for the worst ones. guy who bumped into you must be a problem.

you met him once. then twice. once before visit. another time when both of you were going towards clinic. after sixth time you got to know his name. taeyong. lee taeyong was guy intrested in you since the very first time he saw you when you were fighting with mr. park during christmas eve. without knowing each other well taeyong asked you out on dates and months passed by while being with each other.

that was past. old taeyong was gone for a long time since both of you started dating. new taeyong and new you found peace of mind while being together. falling in love was something you have never expected and here you are. five years later living in small house you bought for your first big money. house was symbol of your love and bond you had together.

“taeyong we should break up.”

guilt was tripping all over you when you looked into taeyong’s eyes. of course both of you saw it coming somehow since your therapist warned you about love and your ignorance towards feelings and relationship. taeyong knew it all. taeyong knew you could never love him at the same level as he does.

“y/n.” he took your hands inside his. “i know you still got issues that are hard to maintain. i understand it fully. i also know i love you more which is fine with me. we don’t have to break up because i’m good with it. all the past five years was best time of my life, y/n.”

you knew he would say that but it was hard for you to be in relationship with him since you know you only hurt him more and more.

“but you shouldn’t be good with it.” you hissed. “i loved you and i do but i don’t think i’ll ever be able to give you my all. my heart breaks even more when i see all the efforts you put into us. you deserves better.”

“no. don’t say that.” taeyong was panicking inside. you couldn’t leave him. “you’re most important person in my life and i can’t lose you. if you leave i’ll be no more good. you made me better person. i love you y/n. don’t do it to me. i won’t be able to handle that.”

“i can’t.” you wipped tears. “i can’t taeyong. i want you to be happy and i feel like you’re just restircted by me.” taeyong’s puppy eyes was filled with tears. “i want you to be best person ever without me. i keep bringing you down, can’t you see? i’m still stuck in depression while you overcome addiction. you made it but i am stuck. it’s growing on me and i can not be with you as it’s tiring for both of us. i hurt you.”

taeyong got down on his knees holding your hand while sobbing crazy.

‘“stay, please. i can’t live without you. i overcame drugs because of you.” he was crying even more. “thanks to you i am best version of mysel. you don’t love me the way i do? it’s fine! i don’t mind but please y/n.”

“taeyong, it’s so wrong. you can’t stay with me.”

“don’t leave. y/n i beg you..”

you knew if you answer him or look at him you would give in. you knew he had to get his eyes off of you so you could leave because you can’t do it with him watching you. taeyong’s sobs got louder and your heart breaks in half. you took your hand of his and you went to bedroom for your bags with your things.

“i’ll be back for rest in a two days. good bye taeyong.”

he tried to scream and say something else but you closed the door of your house. you wanted taeyong to keep it. even tho it was mark of your realtionship it belonges to him and only him. it’s taeyong who poured his whole heart to make it room as beautiful as it is. he arranged everything he can and make it look like dream land. you’ll miss this place. your first house with first love.

your mother welcomed you with tears in her eyes. only time you visited her was when something goes wrong between you and taeyong. last time was two years ago when taeyong and you had argument about your medications you took at the time. he noticed you didn’t take them for few days and your well being was bad. he was so scared of you and you had enough of him so you went to your mothers flat in centre of seoul. she was almost crying when she saw you but today she was crying. her only child come backs again after argument with only person who could understand them.she was thankful for taeyong since she could never understand you and never took you seriously.

first time your mother and your boyfriend met was when both of you were dating for a year and taeyong was upset with your mum because you called at the seven pm to tell him your mother wanted to stop your therapy. taeyong har rage inside of him when he opened the door of your old flat. all he could hear was you crying and your mother screaming.

“are you crazy mrs. shin?” he screamed while rushing to living room. “you don’t want your daughter to be better? to be finally healthy? you don’t fuckin understand what she’s going through. you’re her mother and it’s you who should support her. you!” your mother was shocked. “are you going to leave her at her own with her problems? i suppose you know exactly what would happen. leave her on the therapy since she needs it. i want her alive.”

you didn’t care about anything at that time since you heard your boyfriend spoke to your mother. both of you were surpised as taeyong was literally burning with rage. she looked confused at him.

“as far as i know i am her mother and i know exactly what’s best for my child.” taeyong laughed sarcasticly.

“oh you know? then why she doesn’t trust you? or therapist want her to attend therapy since her mental health is so messed up? she needs it and you want to fuck it up! so pathetic.”

“i had no idea-”

“because you didn’t take your own daughter seriously. instead of doubting her you should be the one who encourage her to change.” your mother was embarrased. “y/n take your things and you can stay tonight at my place. good bye mrs. shin.”

without anything else you took pijamas and all you needed. your mother was looking at you amused when you left her flat. it was so new. someone told her truth. someone made her realize what a damage she was making.

taeyong was scared to the core when he was watching you at his bed.

“i can go sleep on the couch, you have a place here.” he kissed your forhead. “if you anything scream.”

“no.” you grabbed his hand. “stay here with me. it’s your bed after all. and i wouldn’t mind having you in the same bed.”

taeyong looked at you with smile. he was proud you trusted him and he felt amazing by it since he helped you through a lot.

“our little y/n wants to sleep with me. cute.”

you made space for him as he was laying down. you felt asleep in his arms safer than you have ever felt.

you didn’t came back for rest of your things since you had to be in work doing makeup’s for small advertaisments. everyone was fast because director was late and everything was gettind delayed while you have to be at another place in an hour. it was direcor’s fault but no one actually blamed him since he was big name in a industry. this day can get any worse.

it’s almost midnight when you get into your car finally able to go home after work. your thought wondered about your now ex. you wanted to know what he feels right now but it was impossible since it would only make things worse. after checking if you have all your stuff you turned engine on. twenty minutes and you will be at your mum’s place. able to relax and have quick shower to wash away all the thoughts you had for past few days.

suddenly your phone rung. you had to park the car on a empty alley. you answered the call.

“hello, is that shin y/n?” a female asked.

“hello, yes it’s me. what happened?”

“i’m calling from university hospital in seoul. i am nurse and my name is park sooyoung and i want to inform you that lee teayong is at hospital. he is on surgery and has stomach cleaning since he overdoesed on drugs. please, we want you to come her as soon as possible since you have to fill up patient’s card and you were the only person in his phone to call during emergency.”

“yes ofcourse.”

your whole world stopped. it’s impossible, it can’t be happening. taeyong let go of drugs four years ago and he had never thought of getting back to it. he overcame his worst addiction and now he overdoesed. your hear was beating and your whole body was shaking as you run to the hospital. few people were looking at you as soon as you get to the reception point.

“i’m lee taeyong’s..” you had to lie. “wife. i am his wife. he overdoesed tonight. where’s he?”

“oh mrs. lee?”

“yes, we’ve been married for a month but i haven’t change my last name yet.”

“oh, i understand.” she smiled at you. “right now he is under coma before second surgery. he is on third floor, room number 61. you have to fill up his patient’s page so please here it is.” she handled you peper and pen. “fill it up. give it to me and go there. doctor will explain everything to you as soon as you show up.”

“sure. thank you.”

your tears dropped on a piece of paper while you were signing it. you saw foggy text because of tears in your eyes. everything was so messed up and you just couldn’t stop shaking. addiction history - you had to write down cocaine. it was driving you nuts. everything took you less than five minuts. you were runing on the third floor and through glass you could see your boyfriend getting ready on a surgery. nurses were all on him while you could only look through the window from the outside. soon after doctor showed up.

“are you his relative?”

“i am his wife.”

“okay then.” he closed the door. “your husband took deadly amount of cocaine which caused his heart to stop. he was lucky his friend visited him because five more minutes and your husband was dead. we have to clear his whole body and get rid of cocaine from his body. we have no idea when he will wake up.” you were crying even more. “was it his first time? was he addicted?”

“t-taeyong was drug addict.” you wipped your tears. “he was addicted for two years and for four years now he is free of it.”

“durig this period of four years he had never used cocaine?”

“no, he haven’t! we spend together majority of time and we do check’s up.”

“okay.” he write down something. “do you know what could cause it?”

“w-we broke up few days ago.” you sobbed crazier. “i wanted to break up and that’s propably it.”

“sure. he needs support right now so please take any private issues aside and support him tonight. he needs it as hell since his state is very bad. we will try to do our best.”

he walked away and you sunk on the floor. guilt was exploding in you when you watched as nurses took taeyongs to surgery room. it felt like fever dream and you didn’t want to be in that because you were blaming yourself. your boyfriend was fine for past four years. therapy, medicine and you helped him get through it. he had never touched any other substance and one day fucked it all up. you don’t know what you do if he dies. researching on internet just in 2017 almost 14,000 people died on cocaine overdose. you prayed for your taeyong to be better. prayed for him to wake up. he can’t leave world like that. not him.

“your therapist and clinic know everything now mr. lee.” doctor handled him papers. “they wanted to make an appoinment with you and talk about it since you might have long term side effects after overdose. please, do check up in every two weeks.”

“yes. good bye.”

taeyong looked embarrased at you. shame. he felt shame when you were driving him to house we used to share. place was empty for two weeks. surgery was done and taeyong’s body accepted treatment well. doctor did they best to bring him back to life. and you haven’t left the place not even once. you stayed in hospital day and night until he woke up. you helped in treatment and taking care of him. bought everything needed, and first thing you do before taking him back to home was to go to pharmacy to buy all the medicines he needed.

“listen y/n. i’m so sorry for what happened and what a hard time i caused you-”

“not now. you don’t have to be sorry taeyong. it wasn’t complectly your fault and i understand. also, we don’t have to talk right now. you jus get out of the hospital. let’s take you home and you should rest. maybe a good bath even?” you smiled lightly. “after that we can talk.” taeyong just nodded.

of course you were mad at taeyong for past events but you weren’t so cruel to start an argument inside of the car while he just was out of hospital.

also your madness went down after you met taeyong’s old dealer called chanyeol. you knew him pretty well because of first year of dating taeyong while he still was going through recovery so finding him wasn’t an issue at all. chanyeol was in club when you bursted into place with anger painted on your face. he looked confused when he saw you. without wasting any minute, you went to him and slapped him in the face so hard he fell. while he was screaming at you, you punched him on the nose causing it to break. few curses let slide from your mouth and he knew why were you there. he also knew taeyong was cocaine free and while chanyeol sold him drugs he made him overdose. security took you out while you were calling chanyeol names and deep down he felt guilt.

“i heard you broke chanyeol’s nose.” taeyong mumbled while being covered under the blanket. “is that true?”

“who told you?”

“mark.”

“yes it’s true. motherfucker sold you cocaine even tho he knew whole story. you are his ex friend and after all that he chose to sold it to you.”

he giggled lightly.

“i would kill to see you breaking his nose.” you slapped his shoulder. “i want to thank you for everything. i was immature for it and i am so sorry. you didn’t have to help me during my stay in hospital. i don’t know.” he was shameful. “i was just broken. you left and i just wanted to let go of feelings and i had to.”

“taeyong promise me you’ll never do it again. i almost had heart attack because of you. i don’t want you to get hurt or die. you were free for four years now and in just one night you almost died. you’re lucky as hell. please, don’t do it again ever.” you knew how easily taeyong could get trigger for drugs. “i’ll stay. i won’t leave you but please.”

suddenly his eyes light up and he was holding you tight in a hug. you had to promise him that because you know now he is going to do drugs when you leave.

it was first time when you two broke up and get together. first but not last.

“glad to know you enjoy it at least.” you hummed as you were about to eat toast. “did clinic call?”

“not yet.” he smiled. “they will propably in a few days, don’t worry y/n.”

six months later from overdose you were still with taeyong. you couldn’t leave him because of few issues with it. you were scared that another time will end up with taeyong’s death. it’s not what you would want to happened. you were trapped into relationship. it wasn’t healthy at all and taeyong knew this. taeyong also knew he isn’t going to do drugs again but when he see you’re still with him he can’t help but not tell you.

people grow and change, that’s what happened between you two. past few years gave you life experience you never expected. your depression was fading away only issue you had was your emotions and rather lack of them. mr. park explained it to you - you simply don’t love lee taeyong and guilt is haunting you down. he was giving you everything while you couldn’t do the same.

taeyong’s accident also changed your view on world. no one expected to stay the same after what happened. his friends would visit you more frequently and you would check on him just to be sure taeyong won’t do stupid things again.

at the other side, your boyfriend got soften. he wanted to treat you the best because you helped him with so many things it was almost impossible to do. also, you gathered strenght. past few weeks you were focused on yourself. self love. that’s what you needed first which lead to a lot of fights between you and taeyong. it was you who would start them since taeyong would only agree with you and try to calm you down.

“now it’s me who have to deal with consequences of your actions.” you snapped. “not you. not your friends but me. don’t you see i also suffer?” taeyong was looking at you in disbelief. “we would never have to go through it if you just could let me go. break up was the best option for us but no.” you hissed. “don’t leave me, stay.” you mocked. “i am so done. i am with you but i still feel guilty even tho as i’m looking at it now it’s not my fault.”

“y/n please. i am so sorry for everything. i apologized hundred of times and i still will. how else should i do? i love you from the bottom of my hear and you still don’t love me. i need you in my life and i don’t complain.”

your fight was going on during party at doyoung’s house. he had birthday and invited all his friends with their partners. everything went smoothly unless taeyong pissed you off. today you were fed up of everything and your relationship with taeyong.

“i don’t care. i wanted to leave and instead i am traped with you.”

“then leave.” he shouted. “then leave me, the fuck.”

“for what? for you trying to overdoes again?”

you didn’t wait for any response and just walked away from him leaving taeyong alone by the pool. as far as you were getting the more you regretted. you were too harsh on him. on your sweet boyfriend who loves you the most in the world. when you felt guilty you turned and went back to the pool but there was no sight of taeyong.

“hey, taeil.” you screamed. “have you seen taeyong?”

“no, i haven’t.” he smiled. “go ask mark they both were talking not so long ago.”

running into house full of people you noticed mark.

“no, i don’t know. maybe he left already?”

running through alleys of doyoung’s neighbourhood was pretty much tiring since this place is huge. taeyong couldn’t go so far. while asking few people you were loosing hope of seeying him tonight but at the end of dark alley you could see a male with water in the hand.

“taeyong.”

he turned back and saw you. tears. there was shadow of tears on his face and you knew you fucked up.

“what do you want?”

“i am sorry. i should never used such a words.”

“you’re not happy with me. shit. five years by each other is a long time don’t you think?”

“it is. taeyong i am sorry but i mean what i said.” you looked down. “our life is too messed up for us to be together. i feel like you’re the only person i know but we’re too different now. i-” taeyong felt it coming and knot in his stomach tightened. “i don’t love you taeyong, i am sorry. i wish i could love you the same way as before. i can’t do it. it’s draining me down. i wished to meet my perfect boyfriend and i met you. maybe you’re too perfect for me?”

“i am not. you deserve so much better and i am a fool. fool for everything i’ve done but i did it for love. i have never stopped and i will never stop loving you.”

“i know taeyong. i think it’s our good bye. i hope we will never see each other again for sake of our happines and well being. you’re example of book’s boyfriend and you should love someone who is on your level. i am still trying to love and i am sick of it. it’s fine, i understand how things went in our life. i know.” taeyong was crying again. “don’t cry. you will meet your other half.”

“do you think it’s necessery?”

“of course taeyong.”

both of you were laying down on your bed. in an hour people will come here because they are intrested in buying this house. it’s the last time both of you were in yours house. last time both of you see each other. last memory of you two. taeyong promised you to be good and to not do drugs anymore. he will take care of his health. you at the other side will change your whole life and you can’t stay in seoul so that’s why you’re moving to daegu.

taeyong learnt you a lot of things. thanks to him you got to experience love, happines, pain, gratefulness, friendship and everything. he stopped trying to change your mind. he understood you’re leaving. you’re not in love him as you used to.

“you made me miserable and i still loved you. thank you y/n for building me and helping me develop myself.”

“thank you for showing me proper way of living and your love.”

it’s done. lee taeyong is no longer your boyfriend and you’re free of him. you had to be cruel to be kind. you’re doing it just for taeyong’s sake and happines. he will be grateful to you one day for your actions. as for now all good memories and time with taeyong became core memory in your brain that you will never ever think about again.

you’re not the only ones. people been here before as every other couple. people break up with each other when their time comes to an end. it’s never ending cycle and there is nothing to regret. but you wanted to live not only survive. life to fullest without worrying and being hold back.

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your-world-with-nct · 2 years

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❝ thank you for tuning in to neo city tunes here at 127 FM ! we are currently OFF AIR ❞

now playing :: 134340 - bts, requested by @fullsunfluff

long story short, it hurt. he couldn’t say that he didn’t see it coming but, hearing you utter the words ‘i don’t love you anymore’ fucking hurt.

at the time, haechan thought it would be impossible to ever heal, to ever stop missing you, to ever stop loving you. there were times where pain and regret engulfed him, shattering his heart into smaller fragments with every thought of you.

haechan never thought he would be free from the heartache he had become so used to, but finally, finally, he reached a point where he could look back on your relationship fondly and appreciate what you had together without dwelling on it.

at least, he thought he had.

haechan thought he was done with the days of feeling a pang in his chest when he saw you in a mutual friend’s post, of wincing in pain when he caught a whiff of the perfume you always used to wear. he was satisfied when the day came where he no longer associated everything with a memory of you.

but why did it hurt so much more seeing a y/n that he no longer knew?

it was just like any other day, haechan’s morning lecture had just ended and he was on his way to meet his friends at whatever place they’d picked today. tuesdays were always renjun’s day to pick—he was an adventurous one, always choosing a new restaurant in the city or a café in the park to try.

today, he had decided to take advantage of the weather, his choice being a cute little ice cream parlour downtown. haechan paused in the middle of the path, squinting at the directions on his phone in confusion and covering his eyes with his hand to block out the glare of the sun.

“oop, sorry!” a cheery voice chirped, bowing quickly after bumping into the frozen boy.

“oh, no worries, sorry for getting in the way,” haechan mumbled, looking up from the screen to give the poor stranger an apologetic smile.

before he could even do so, he realised that there was no longer anyone next to him, and whoever had just been there had already joined the busy crowd of people walking past.

he never would have known who it was if he didn’t hear their friends calling their name, or if they hadn’t turned around to greet said friends.

“y/n!!! you idiot, you’re going the wrong way!”

the mere sound of your name had a lump forming in haechan’s throat, but, as much as he tried to stop it, he couldn’t help but let his gaze drift from the map on his phone to your beaming face.

he shook his head, trying to physically rid himself of the emotional pain bubbling under the surface. picking up his pace and avoiding any eye contact with you and your friends, he ignored the map and let his legs take him anywhere—anywhere that was away from you.

haechan didn’t notice when his brisk walk had turned into a panicked run until he was panting and practically stumbling onto the nearest bench he could find. he didn’t know whether it was his quickened pace or the pure shock he felt at seeing you so unexpectedly that made his breaths so heavy and uneven.

a single teardrop stained his shorts. yeah, it was definitely because he saw you.

you, who had a different hair colour to when he last saw a post of you. you, whose friends he had never met and had probably never even heard of him. you, whose voice sounded so unfamiliar and, he didn’t want to think it but, so much happier than when you were with him. a y/n that he no longer knew.

or, was it worse that he still could recognise parts of the y/n he once knew? the y/n that had such an awful sense of direction to the point where you ended up lost in haechan’s humble, little childhood home. the y/n that wore the same gold watch no matter the occasion, because he had complimented it once and you hadn’t stopped wearing it since. the y/n that always prioritised others’ feelings before their own, who had the biggest heart, but not one that was big enough to keep loving lee haechan.

the two of you were still in the same orbit, connected in ways you were no longer aware of, even when the connection had already faded. haechan wondered if you were feeling even a fraction of what he was right now—if the memories came rushing back to you as they did to him. but, that was unlikely.

you erased him, forgot him. and now, he was nothing but a reminder of what once was.

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taexoxosgf · 3 months

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NA JAEMIN FIC REC LIST

s, smut | f, fluff | a, angst

This list is a compilation of some of my fave jaemin ff <3 a lot were on my old recs so feel free to reread!

after you [ fuckboy!jaemin x fem!reader ] s,f,a

cat & mouse [ na jaemin x jaehyun's sister!reader ] s,f

cherry girl! [ twitch streamer!jaemin x fem!reader ] s,f

talk to my skin [ friends with benefits au ] s

unforgettable [ bassist!jaemin x fem!reader ] s,a

by the window [ voyeurism, neighbor au ] s

strawberry cough , (pt.2) sour tangie [ plug!jaemin x fem!reader] s,f,a

on the rebound [ shooting guard!jaemin x fem!reader, college au] s,f,a

subtle [ established relationship, summer vacation au ] s,f

besties (gone sexual) [ best friends to lovers ] s,f,a

upon your invitation [friend!jaemin x fem!reader, ft. nct dream, vacation au ] s,f

rock me [ fuckboy!jaemin x hairstylist!reader ] s,f,a

backseat chronicles [ streetracer!jaemin x fem!reader ] s,f,a

persimmon problems [ fratboy!jaemin x fem!reader ] f,a

veni, vidi, vici [ popular!jaemin x mark's sister!reader ] s,f

blur. [ exboyfriend's bestfriend!jaemin x fem!reader ] s

two nights, one you [fuckboy!jaemin, one night stand au] s,f

the walls are thin [ roommate!jaemin x fem!reader x roommate!jeno ] s

hush. [jaemin,haechan, jeno x fem!reader ] s

that '90's show [actor!jaemin x pa fem!reader ] s,f,a

pretty girl. [ alpha!jaemin x fem!reader ] s,f

thin walls. [ roommate!jaemin x fem!reader ] s

cookie jar [ stepbrother!jaemin x fem!reader x stepbrother!jeno ] s

one of a kind [strangers to lovers au ] s,f,a

go there with you [ roommate!jaemin x fem!reader ] s

34+35 [ established relationship ] s

parents are home [ secret freak!jaemin ? ] s

memories bring back you [ ex!jaemin x fem!reader ] s

into you [ friends to lovers au ] s,f

what she doesn't know [ mom's boyfriend!jaemin x fem!reader] s

worth it. [ first sleepover au ] s,f

quiet down [ established relationship, semi-exhibitionism ] s

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lqfiles · 4 days

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PAY THE PRICE — smau

after getting evicted out of your old place, you're left with no other choice but to look for a cheaper alternative. which is how you end up becoming neighbours with lee haechan, who has a passion for music and disturbing whatever peace and quiet there is.

or in which you found yourself a very nice apartment, the only issue? your neighbour is your friend's somewhat ex-situationship who won't stop playing his guitar at 2 am in the night.

neighbour!haechan x fem!reader

genre ; enemies to lovers, angst, fluff, probably slow burn, humour, neighbours au.

extras ; haechan is kinda an asshole | boy next door + likes everyone but you trope-ish | profanity and death jokes because they’re silly! | probably romantic tension | some mark x reader here and there | renjun and jaemin having their own e2bffs moment | probably inaccurate depiction of how someone would get evicted pls don’t shoot me 😅

notes ; i love haechan i love haechan i love haechan i love haechan i love haechan i love haechan i love haechan i love haechan <333 idk i got nothing better to do now so i’ll just start this because i know i won’t be posting any of the other long fic wips any time soon 😭

PLAYLIST ; She , Tyler The Creator — For The Night , Chloe Bailey — IDK WHAT TO TELL YOU , Bktherula — Surprise , Chloe Bailey — I Wanna Be down , Brandy — Suite Life , FLO — Is It A Crime? , No Guidnce — Round&Round , NCT U .

STATUS ; upcoming

profiles (1) profiles (2)

intro

1 ) jaehyun’s trophy wife

2 ) free cookies (not really)

TBA . . .

TAGLIST open for anyone who wants it!

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jwirecs · 2 years

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Recommended NCT Fics of August 2022💖

hello, hello! here are my nct recs of august! hopefully these beautiful stories will have more recognition as well as the writers 💝

** anything in parentheses and bolded are my thoughts that can be disregarded if needed **

🔞smut || 💔angst || 💕fluff || ✅completed || 🔄ongoing || 💯favorite

And They Were Roommates || @tyonfs🔞💕💔✅💯💯

↳ lee donghyuck’s competitive spirit to find the best girlfriend results with him setting his sights on yoo jimin, the hottest girl on campus. however, trying to get close to her ends up with him being pushed in her roommate’s direction. donghyuck has never considered dating someone as quiet as you, but, for whatever reason, he’s infatuated.

Changing Leaves || @lovesung127💕💔✅

↳ Autumn, the season you used to associate with the failure of your first relationship takes on a new meaning when you find yourself presented with a second chance. Alternatively, you and jisung break up in autumn and fall back in love in autumn.

Just Friends || @ahgase55g7💕💔✅💯

↳ what happens when you wake up in someone else’s bed after getting drunk in a party?

Reckless Heroism || @gimmehyuck💕💔✅💯💯

↳ you've kept your secret for all of six months, mostly to keep your friends - him - safe. when he finds out, it puts your skills of truly wanting to keep him safe to the test. or in other words, he’s your mary jane. the damsel in distress. and he may or may not be happy about it

Silent Yearning || @gaiyofanfiction💕💔✅💯

↳ Ever since a traumatic experience happened to Donghyuck, his depression and anxiety caused him to turn mute as a way to cope. Now, having gone from one of the most popular boys in school to the school’s freak, he cuts everyone out from his life, trying to fly under the radar. That was, until you showed up and turned his whole life around. But was it for the better?

Sticky Situations || @mieohmy💕💔✅

↳ you never thought you’d be partners in crime with the red and blue spandex wearing hero who is not only your friend mark, but also the guy you secretly have a crush on.

Tired Eyes || @whiteteadreams💕💔✅💯

↳ You had “tired eyes” according to Yuta, no matter how much sleep you did or didn’t get the night before, your eyes always looked tired, and they will be the death of him. How they’re always glossed over and a bit droopy, he thinks they match your laidback but playful personality quite well. The first time he truly noticed your tired eyes was when you two were brushing your teeth at the same time during the first week of being roommates. You two made eye contact through the mirror and with a mixture of your tired eyes, mouthful of toothpaste, and slightly crooked smile, he felt his heart soar.

You Are Worthy Of Being Loved || @j0hnj4ej3n💕💔✅

↳ no summary

Runway || @wincore 🔞💕💔✅

↳ there are some things that come with dedicating your life to fashion: a taste for finer fabrics, a splash of love for art, and an appreciation of the human body. none of these are supposed to include the hottest model you have ever laid eyes on, or the fact that you completely, utterly hate his guts.

Unblock Your Heart || @ahgase55g7💕💔✅

↳ no summary (do recommend you to read it though!!! its beautiful)

Come Back Home || @jenosdaemi 🔞💕💔✅💯💯💯

↳ Your relationship with Johnny has been perfect for 2 years. He always made you feel loved and special. When with him, he always reminds you that you are the reason behind his success and happiness. Not until the media found out about your relationship and the Johnny you used to know started to change.

Gorgeous || @cattaeil💕✅💯

↳ "and i'm so furious at you for making me feel this way but, what can i say? you're gorgeous"

Love In The Dark || @rosietaeyongswife💔✅

↳ taeyong was your perfect boyfriend ever since both of you have started dating. you were his first true love and his life wasn’t great when you were absent. taeyong gave you his all and everything you have ever needed but it wasn’t enough. people changes and develop while growin up, and maturing. more freuquent fights between you two are growing on both of you. issue with literally everything from your side was getting worst. taeyong gave you love, and you did love him but you couldn’t love him in the dark anymore.

Send My Love || @rosietaeyongswife💔✅💯💯

↳ high school gave you a lot of opportunities to meet a lot of people and one of them was your beloved boyfriend. mark never failed you make you laugh or smile. he was your sunshine in life who leads you happily through it. but years passed and both of you were stuck as boyfriend-girlfriend while all your old high school friends were now about to get married. mark promised you marriage and wedding ring one day. as days passed you knew it was a lie and mark’s inmaturity made you go mad everytime you were talking. (hi, don’t mind me, imma just be lurking on your blog for more fics to read🥺)

Things I Do For You || @daegall💕✅💯

↳ no summary but spiderman!mark

I Love You || @neobowlingshoez💕💔✅

↳ after suffering from a heartbreak, y/n is thriving with a boyfriend and her two best friends by her side. but what happens when her ex comes back along with his friends? (when i tell you my jaw drop at that cheating part, it literally dropped. ooo child, bless)

Take My Hand || @markberries💕✅

↳ when you and mark parted ways, you took forever to heal from it. when you see mark onstage again, you're not sure if you ever recovered in the first place.

Two Tickets to Paradise || @lattaeyongs💕💔✅💯💯

↳ after your fiance leaves you at the altar, you’re devastated – but not devastated enough to cancel your honeymoon. instead, your best friend johnny accompanies you, and you start thinking that your fiance wasn’t right for you after all.

Keep On || @lisired 🔞💕💔✅💯

↳ All things love and commitment were feared upon by you - and for good reason. You kept a tight crew and let few people in, cynical of other’s intentions and leaving a trail of broken hearts in your wake. If you broke other people’s hearts first, they couldn’t break yours. And yet, it was all too easy falling for Johnny, digging yourself into a depthless hole of love. But he was no exception to your heartache games.

Rich Purity || @jenonctcity🔞💕💔✅💯💯

↳ Jeno often found that he had a lot of free time on his hands. Between going to his classes, studying, and going to the gym, he didn’t do much else apart from lounge around the apartment eating snacks. Not needing a part time job like his roommates because of his well-off parents, Jeno knew he had it easy, but it never got to his head, and he was always seen as the sweet, kind person he was. But this pact really threw his head into a spin. As he sat in class thinking about it, a lightbulb went off in his head as he saw you struggling with the work in the front of the class. You suddenly found yourself in a deal that threw your life into a spin. If you took Jeno’s virginity, he would give you tutoring for the rest of the semester. It was the deal of a lifetime to you, a handsome boy offering you sex and tutoring. But when you don’t end up sticking to the one-time sex thing, can you keep things strictly studying and sex with no feelings?

Traitor || @neowinestainedress💔✅💯💯💯💯

↳ the worst kind of betrayals are the ones that happen unexpectedly and from the ones you love the most. Haechan never gave her a reason to believe he was a traitor. Their relationship never showed signs of cracking. But doing the most for someone you love doesn’t stop them from backstabbing and leaving you behind. (ASLKDJASLKJ I HAVE NO WORDS)

Ain’t Shit || @rosietaeyongswife 💕✅

↳ your husband is getting arested. you two were aranged marriage, so you don’t really care about him, or he doesn’t care about you. but money he made was gone, he took everything, when you need them. his friend come home with request from his boss aka. your husband. who knew trip to monks in japan made you realize how much your husband cared for you?

You Belong To Me || @kpopjust4u 🔞💕💔✅

↳ Prompts: 51 - “Touch them, and we’re going to have problems” 69 - “Can’t keep my hands off of you” 163 - “I’m protective over what’s mine”

Crush Culture || @suhnshinehaos💕✅

↳ ln yn has always flirted with huang renjun. but they do that with literally everyone else too, they couldn’t possibly be serious about pursuing him, right? on their final year of university, yn is determined to show that they are. with all the walls that renjun has built around himself, will they be strong enough to succeed in tearing them down?

Heart Is Lost and Lonely, But With You There’s Forever Only || @purinpeach💕💔✅💯

↳ fumbling between racing tracks and loving kisses, the hopeless romantic in jeong jaehyun still remains hopeful in the promise that forever brings to him, and to you.

We Ridin’ || @zh-lele💕💔✅💯

↳ Two young people fall in love despite the rivalry of their racing teams. The smallest mistakes you make will leave the biggest regrets.

Do check out all of the other NCT Fics that i have reblogged as well!!

** if there is any fics that you guys would like to recommend, please do! i am slowly running out of fics to read **

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sxcret-garden · 2 months

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Haechan ღ Painted with You [M]

ღ NCT Dream Haechan x fem!reader ღ feat.: short mentions of Renjun & Jeno ღ words: ~15k ღ genre: college AU, fwb to lovers, exes to lovers, fluff, slice of life, slow burn, pining, reader is a little dense, angst, humor, smut (switch!Haechan (but sub-leaning), oral (both receiving), hair pulling (idol receiving), unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, some begging, fingering, handjob, edging, orgasm denial (idol receiving), dry humping) ღ warnings: alcohol consumption, depiction of anxiety and reader feeling burnt out, mentions of unhealthy coping mechanisms

Desc.: You and Donghyuck were a couple back in high school, each having your own reasons for dating the other, but ultimately what you seeked out in each other was a distraction. Now that you meet again five years later, you both come to realize that the connection between you is still there, and eventually it’s crystal clear that the people you’ve become won’t be as easily separated as back then.

Author's note: aaaa I've had this in my drafts for sooo long avoiding to proofread it cause I wasn't happy with this at all... so now I finally came back to it to edit a bit and I think in the end it turned out quite okay^^ I hope you guys like it 🫶

There’s a hint of victory in the smile he gives you when you sit down next to him. Like he knew it would come to this - that you’d get bored of exchanging mundanities with the others and eventually find yourself drawn to him as your only escape. And it’s not like you didn’t know it too, it was clear from the moment you greeted each other with a hug that lasted shorter than it should have, and at the same time felt more familiar than you wanted it to. Yet his stance is inviting as he turns his whole body towards you in his seat, and the curiousity in his eyes is apparent.

“Long time no see,” he says, and it comes out softer than you would’ve expected it to. And he probably had the same thought, because he’s clearing his throat now, talking more firmly as he continues, “What have you been up to?” The last time you’ve seen each other was at your high school graduation ceremony, and since then it’s been almost five years. Which, as your former class president Renjun had decided, was about enough time to gather for a reunion.

“Well, you know. This and that,” you try to avoid an answer, but of course he wouldn’t let you off the hook so easily. He knows you too well for that.

“Come on,” he snorts. “You can tell me. My time wasn’t spent in a purely productive manner either.”

“You probably spent about 3 years total on just playing video games…” you say with a grin playing on your lips, and you make him huff in disbelief, before his expression as well returns to a somewhat mischievous smile.

“Now that was just tactless,” he says, straightening his back now. “I quit uni to go to work, and then started again with a different major. So now I’m a freshman!” He gives you a peace sign with his hand, sounding a lot prouder about the fact than he should’ve been.

“Feeling like 19 again?” you joke.

“Yes! Everyone automatically assumes I’m their age,” he explains. “But then I tell them I’m older, so I can make them work for me!” An exaggeratedly mischievous laugh follows, and you can only shake your head at his shenanigans.

“You haven’t changed at all,” you say, turning away and facing the bartender working just a few seats away. Originally you were all going out for dinner and nothing more, but when some girls suggested paying a nearby bar a visit, nobody could refuse in the face of getting some booze into their veins. Maybe you aren’t the only one who’s getting fucked over by life.

“One margarita,” you raise your hand and order, then you add, directed at Donghyuck, “Anything for you?”

“Just soju.” And so after placing both your orders, he adds, “Still can’t drink the adult drinks?”

“Excuse you, it has alcohol in it, so it is an adult drink. But if you’re asking if I still hate bitter stuff - yes I do.”

“I see… anyway, I’m not letting you get away without properly answering my question.”

“Too bad,” you respond. “Well…” And then you hesitate. You remember what it was like between the two of you in high school. When you were dating, each for your own reasons and certainly not because you had feelings for each other. But he still felt like a friend you could entrust your deepest feelings with - you knew each other like the back of your own hand. And yet, you find yourself hesitating in the face of five years passed by without a word from the other. It wasn’t like you had a fight or broke up on bad terms. It’s just that you both agreed it would be better not to see each other again, for reasons that seemed smart at the time. But now that you’re looking at the person he’s become and how much he seems to have grown up, you’re not sure anymore what those reasons even were.

“That bad?” Donghyuck interrupts your train of thought as he raises an eyebrow at you, and when you shake your head a short laugh escapes him.

“No, just… I’m also still in university,” you say. “I had to take a year off, so I’m trying to finish everything now. It’s not going great though.”

“Oh…” he looks away, directing his gaze at his hands that he’s hiding in the sleeves of his knitted sweater. “Are you managing though?” And that’s when you suddenly feel the past and the present connect - the way he immediately becomes serious when the situation calls for it, just like he has always done, makes you feel safe to keep speaking, and to keep your heart open, just for a bit.

“It’s… difficult,” you admit. The bartender sets down your ordered drinks, causing another pause, and you acknowledge it with a nod. “I’m trying not to do too much, but you know what’s it like living here.”

“Yeah,” he says. “That fucked you over before, didn’t it?”

“Yeah.” You fall silent after that, but not for long. Your conversation partner is Donghyuck after all, he wouldn’t let an awkward silence get too long.

“I have changed… by the way.” You raise your eyebrows at him as he speaks those words, letting the sip of your cocktail slowly trickle down your throat.

“Have you?” you ask. “Well, I mean… you’ve grown up.”

“Oh?” Suddenly seeing him straightening his back as he’s overjoyed, you can’t but giggle at the way his face is graced with a beaming smile now, but he glosses it over with a cough and a sip of his soju.

“But you sure are still the same guy,” you add, a nostalgic smile on your lips.

“I guess,” he agrees, his features softening. Another pause falls upon you as you give your cocktail another taste, and this time it’s you who breaks the silence. Continuously chatting, you’re starting to feel a little tipsy from the sweet beverage after a while.

“I heard you got a girlfriend?” Donghyuck huffs, a wide smile meant to hide a bitter feeling appearing on his face.

“Yeah…”

“What about her?” you pry, sensing something off.

“Dumped me,” he simply says, then pointing across the room and at Jeno, one of your former classmates. “For that guy.”

“Ouch.”

“It’s whatever,” he shrugs it off, pouring himself another glass and offering the shot to you instead. “You sure you don’t want any?”

“I’d rather have my own drink, thanks.”

“Alright. Then cheers.” He downs the shot, grimacing at the taste, and when he sets the glass back down, he adds, “I don’t get why she went for him anyway. I bet it’s cause of all that muscle he got.” You can’t help but chuckle at his words, and you hit his upper arm playfully.

“You should hit the gym too and then see if you can get her back.”

“Very funny,” he replies dryly. “I’d rather die.”

“Understandable…” you reply, taking another sip of your drink as well. “So… you’re probably glad I finally came to you.” Donghyuck shoots you a questioning look and you explain yourself. “For a distraction. Like in the old days, you know?”

“Ahh…” He merely lets out a sound, before staring at his empty shot glass.

“You’re not doing that anymore?” you assume.

“I guess.”

“Yeah… me too,” you say. “Or like… I stopped using people for it.”

You were dating back then, that’s true, but you wouldn’t go as far as to call yourselves high school sweethearts. You were both going through some stuff - for him it was a breakup with his first love, for you it was just life itself. When you were both at your lowest you started talking properly, and it soon became clear that you both wanted nothing more than to escape. And so you formed an alliance - as you used to call it, to everyone else you simply said that you were a couple now. You did behave like a couple, but just for the rush. The first time you held his hand you felt nothing, but when you made out secretly in the backyard of your school instead of attending class, that’s when you were overwhelmed with excitement. It was a stupid idea, you know that now too, and it only worked for so long. You spent the summer of your junior year together, meeting up almost every day and talking, and eventually distracting yourselves by making out secretly in your or his room. And then your final year came, and as you started seeing yourselves forced to take life a bit more seriously, you gradually met up less, until you both agreed that breaking up would be the best decision, so that you could focus on your studies and try to get into a good university. At least for your part, you still have mixed feelings when you remember that day. Because you know you made the adult decision, but at the same time you always end up thinking back to what fooling around with him felt like when you have a bad day now, and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss it at least a bit. But you found other distractions - obsessing over tv series, finding just the perfect kind of music to drown out your feelings, and sometimes, whenever you could find a good excuse to drink with friends, alcohol. Though you’re being careful with the latter, just as you are now. One drink is usually enough to help you relax a bit and not pay all the things stressing you out so much thought.

“So when are we gonna start writing your redemption arc?” you ask nonchalantly, and he raises an eyebrow at you. “Your ex.”

“Stop that, for real,” he says, and the way he remains serious tells you your joke wasn’t well received.

“Sorry,” you utter.

“It’s fine. I mean, it’s not fine, but you know what I mean.”

“Yeah.” He’s playing with the glass in his hands, thumb rubbing along its edge as he keeps staring at it, and you take the last few sips of your drink, before you too start spinning the cocktail glass around between your fingers.

“Actually…” Donghyuck speaks up, now throwing you an entirely different look. “How about we get out of here. Maybe we could both use a distraction after all.”

“But-”

“Just for today.” You stare at him blankly, blinking once, twice, then a third time. This sounds like a bad idea, but at the same time you know you’re probably not gonna see each other for the next five years, just like it was for the past five. So what would be so bad about taking his offer now?

“Alright,” you say eventually, having made up your mind. “My place? It’s nearby.” His lips are parted slightly as he watches you jump out of your seat and put on your jacket. As the air around you changes, so does the look in his eyes, and a moment later he gets up too, his arm wrapped loosely around your waist while he holds the door open for you as he walks you out of the place.

“You really have changed,” you comment as you’re sneaking out, so none of the others would notice, and you giggle at your unnecessary secrecy once you’re past the entrance to the building.

“I can be a gentleman too!” he insists. “Of course a high school boy wouldn’t think of that.” You catch the pout that forms on his lips as he adds the last part, and you inevitably laugh, pointing at his face.

“But you’re also really still the same.”

You decide on going to your place, as it’s nearby, and you take a taxi there. Though you know this is only going to be a one time thing, neither of you seems to be in a rush. You take the elevator to the sixth floor, grinning at each other in silence the entire ride - maybe because this reminds the both of you a bit too much of the way you used to sneak off together all the time back in school. But once you arrive at your apartment, the atmosphere between you somehow changes, and as you’re walking over to your little kitchen to offer him a drink, he stops you, wrapping his arm around your waist. His touch is firm now, and he comes to a halt when he’s standing right in front of you, closer than a friend would, but leaving more distance between you than a lover would, and keeping his voice lowered, he asks,

“So… are we going to go right to the distraction part? Or do we need to pretend that we still need to warm up to each other first?” You find him staring at your lips, then returning his gaze to your eyes as he waits patiently for your response. And you don’t manage to come up with anything smart to say to him, so you simply take a step forward, wrapping your arms loosely around his shoulders, and you kiss him. His lips feel soft, just like you remember them, melting against yours perfectly. Yet there’s a firmness to his kiss that feels new to you. He used to always kiss you with eagerness, too much of it at times, impatient to feel more of you and for you to take control. It was no secret between you two that he actually quite enjoyed being put into his place by you, and now that there’s no such intentions apparent behind the way he moves his lips against yours, you find yourself having your breath taken away by the time you part.

“You really did grow up well…” you mutter, barely an inch apart. “Did your ex teach you to kiss like that?”

“Watch your mouth, Y/N,” he mutters darkly, another side of him that’s not exactly new to you, but one that you haven’t seen a lot in the past. And then he simply brushes his lips against yours again, softly and with care, quite in contrast to his sharp words. “I don’t wanna ruin this with thoughts about people I don’t know anymore.”

“Right…” you whisper, and before you can add a mumbled apology, he presses his lips to yours again. In between short kisses that inevitably leave you longing for more, he steers you closer to the wall behind you, until he has you trapped against it. Your shoulders meet the cold surface gently, and as you’re slowly getting to know this different side of him, you feel yourself being swept off your feet like he never knew how to.

One of his hands resting on your waist, his fingertips creep towards your hip as you’re sharing an open mouthed kiss. A moan escapes you when he presses you up against the wall closer, and as he slowly parts from you, you can see the playful grin showing on his face now.

“You changed too,” he comments, and again he closes the distance between you without giving you a chance to question his words. Your hands finding their way up into his short hair, your fingers get tangled with the strands and you carefully tug at them as he deepens this kiss as well. He’s kissing you slowly as you let him have the lead naturally, and as you keep making out like this, you eventually find yourself burning up whole under his touch. He moves from your mouth to your neck eventually, and you lean your head back with a deep sigh as he begins scattering hot kisses all over the area. His hand that’s been propped up against the wall now finds the back of your nape to support you, and when he comes back up, he whispers a question,

“Do we keep going like we used to? Or do you wanna go all the way this time?” Drunk on his kisses, you pull him in for another one on the mouth, and as you part you mutter,

“We’re not kids anymore. Let’s go all the way.” You step aside and he lets you, and you reach for his hands to walk him over to your couch. Giving him a push, he lets himself fall back onto the sofa, leaning against the backrest as his curious gaze never leaves you. “Don’t need this anymore…” you mumble as you pull off your shirt and throw it somewhere onto the ground, and then you crawl into his lap to straddle him. His hands find purchase on your hips immediately as he looks up at you with warm eyes. You cup his face in your hands and you lean in, capturing his lips in a teasing kiss. Sinking your teeth into his bottom lip, you lure a breathy moan out of him, and wanting to hear more, you keep kissing him like that. Feathery touches that would for sure make him want more eventually become overshadowed by you rolling his hips on top of him, and with each time he lets you hear his voice you become more eager. It’s almost as if you’ve become the one who can’t wait, and he’s the one acting with patience.

“Never knew you could turn me on this much,” he mutters as you pull back, moving your hips at a leisurely pace. You can undoubtedly feel the bulge in his pants, and it’s certainly not leaving you unaffected.

“I grew up too, Hyuck,” you say, and then you bury your face in his neck. You kiss a trail up to the spot right below his ear as he leans back, and his hands wander up your sides and to your back when you start nibbling on his skin.

“Mhm… you did, hm?” he answers. He finds the clasp of your bra and undoes it, and as the piece of clothing slides down your arms, you sit back so he can take it off you and fling it to the ground as well, somewhere in the general direction of where your shirt should be. He holds onto your sides as he takes in the sight in front of him, and as he draws closer to connect his lips to the skin on your chest, you can hear him saying,

“I know I never told you this as a boy but you look beautiful. I really regret not saying that to you.” He kisses his way up from the valley of your breasts to your throat and then back to your mouth, and just before he can connect his lips to yours, you whisper,

“It’s fine. I might’ve actually fallen for you if you had done that.” You laugh, and he does too, but his grin has a different meaning to it than yours.

“Don’t say that. We don’t want anything unfortunate to happen.” Connecting his lips to yours, he runs his tongue across them to ask for permission to enter, and without protest you let him deepen the kiss.

“Now you’re the one who said it,” you mumble a response in between kisses. “That’s a stupid thought anyway.”

“Right.” His fingertips dance south along your spine, and he eventually tugs at your pants as a sign that he wants those off as well. And so you peel yourself out of his hold, and while you’re discarding your jeans, he slips out of his shirt, and both clothing items land somewhere on the floor, soon to be forgotten. He makes you lie down flat on the couch as he crawls on top of you, and when he leaves a trail of small kisses up your torso, one of his hands finds its way to your hips, thumb hooking under the fabric of your panties.

“These too,” he says. “I want these off too.” You give him the okay to take them off as you comb your fingers through his hair once, and as soon as he’s gotten rid of the last piece of clothing on your body, he lowers himself to let his lips draw a map of your figure. Feeling his warm hands against your sides, you let out a sigh as you lean your head back and you close your eyes for a bit, just enjoying the way his kisses feel against your skin. Your hands fly to his hair again, and you find yourself massaging his scalp as he’s slowly going down on you. You let him lift your legs up onto his shoulders eventually, and when he buries his face between your legs, you can’t but let out a small moan. Tongue lapping at your folds, he hums at your taste, and then he wraps his lips around your clit, sucking on it gently.

“That feel good?” he asks, slurring his words a bit, and you nod, tugging at the strands of hair between your fingers.

“Yeah. Keep going…” And so he does, alternating between teasing you with his lips and the tip of his tongue, and when he retrieves one hand to slide his fingers inside you, he comments,

“So wet for me, hm?”

“Y-yeah…” You can unmistakably feel the knot in your stomach being tied tighter with every single touch of his, and when he pumps his fingers in and out of you at a frustratingly slow pace, you find yourself begging for more. “Faster… p-please…” Donghyuck simply hums at your plea, before he obliges, curling his fingers inside you just a little faster. Gradually picking up on speed, the way he flicks his tongue against your clit along with the waves of pleasure that run through your body with each time he hits that sweet spot inside you make you slowly lose your mind, and you let him know just how good he’s making you feel by moaning in tune with his movements.

“Don’t stop… please don’t stop…” you mewl as you look down on yourself to find him already gazing back up at you, observing all of your reactions closely through half-lidded eyes. Just a few more repetitions and he’s throwing you over the edge, making you clench around his fingers as you throw your head back with a moan. “Fuck…” you mutter after he pulls out of you carefully, and he crawls back up to kiss you on the lips. You can taste yourself on his tongue as you share a lazy kiss, and once you part, you place your palms on his chest to push him off you.

“Your turn,” you simply state as you sit up and you make some space so you can comfortably kneel in front of the sofa. Getting the message, he hurriedly rids himself of his pants and boxers, and when he sits down in front of you, you don’t waste another second to wrap your fingers around his length. Giving him a few strokes, he’s fully hard in no time, and he watches as he leans back, enjoying the attention.

“You really have no patience anymore, huh,” he mutters, and you lick your lips before returning his gaze.

“Want me to torture you a bit? Make you beg for it? I can do that too.”

“I can beg if you want me to,” he retorts, the confident expression not being wiped off his face so easily, and you decide to keep that piece of information in mind. Just in case. But for now you’re not planning on making him wait - he’s right, you’ve become impatient, and you’re dying to know what kind of sounds you might lure out of him with his dick in your mouth. You swirl your tongue around his tip a few times, watching him part his lips slightly as he lets you hear a deep sigh and a praise directed at you. “That’s right…” he mutters, and when you take his tip into your mouth fully, he lets you hear a moan so sweet, you swear you could cum just from the sound of it. Slowly bobbing your head up and down and having your hand that’s wrapped around his base follow those same movements, you enjoy the way he keeps moaning at your ministrations, until eventually you hum in approval and he whines from the pleasure.

“Fuck…” A curse escapes him when his tip hits the back of your throat and you gag a little, and you find yourself amused at how easy it is to make a guy whine as soon as you have him in a position like this. You go painfully slow, but he takes all of your teasing, and just when you start feeling bad for him because of how desperate his moans are, you speed up, making sure to take him in as far as you can.

“Shit, Y/N…” he calls out to you. “Wait-”

“Hm?” You come up at his words, letting him slip out of your mouth.

“Wanna cum in your pussy…” The request makes you grin.

“So demanding…” you mutter, shooting him a challenging look.

“Please…” he tries to convince you, his pupils shaking as he’s awaiting your answer. But you’ve already made up your mind on how you’re going to proceed, and so you merely throw him a grin, before taking him back into your mouth. He throws his head back at you sucking him off at a faster pace now, probably in a mixture of frustration and pleasure, and as more curses fall from his lips along with your name, you know he’s close. You hum at his desperation and at the way he’s twitching in your hand while he’s bucking his hips up into your touch, and the next time you’re sinking all the way down on him, he cums with a moan. You try to swallow everything as he releases into your mouth, and when you let go of him you lick your lips to get the rest of it too, all while he watches with a hazy mind. And then you crawl into his lap, leaving a trail of kisses down the side of his throat, and eventually you say,

“Why not both?” You grab his face in one hand, gaze falling to his lips, and before he can say anything you kiss him to cut off his train of thought. “We have so much time tonight…” you mutter against his lips in between kisses, and he merely lets out small moans at your words. “We can do all the things we want. But let’s move somewhere more comfortable first.” And so you hurriedly walk over to your bedroom, Donghyuck pushing you against the mattress as soon as you’re there, and he doesn’t waste a single second to kiss you again. His lips nipping at your collarbones, you throw your arms around him, until finally you switch positions again, and you end up sitting on top of him, sinking down on his hard cock and biting your lower lip from how good it feels to be filled up like this.

“Fuck…” Now it’s you who’s cursing, fingers intertwined with his as you’re pinning his hands down to keep yourself stable. You know he’s drinking up the sight in front of him as you start slowly riding him, and the way he looks at you only turns you on more.

“Shit, you look so pretty like this…” he mumbles, completely taken aback, and he sits up, freeing his hands to hold onto your sides instead. “Can I kiss you?”

“You’re asking that now?” you chuckle as you wrap your arms around his shoulders and he lets out a short laugh as he too realizes how ridiculous his question was.

“You’re right,” he mutters, leaning in. “Then I’ll just kiss you whenever I want.” A rush of heat courses through your body as he presses his lips against yours, and you roll your hips on top of him just a little faster.

“Please do,” you whisper, barely audible, before Donghyuck closes the distance between you again. You take your time making out, until both of you feel that you’re coming close again, and with one hand between your bodies, he starts rubbing your clit for you as you keep your pace.

“I’ll help you,” he whispers, unable to take his eyes off your face as you’re both completely drunk on the other’s touches.

“Mhm…” you moan, chasing your own high on top of him. You’re the first one who comes undone, digging your nails into his shoulders and burying your face in the crook of his neck as your high shakes you.

“Don’t stop, Y/N…” His words sound desperate, and you do your best to keep moving despite feeling the overstimulation building up. He has both his hands on your back now, and you let out a moan when you feel him dragging his nails down to your hips. “Shit…!” Spitting out a curse, he releases inside you, and finally you come to a halt. You stay in your positions for a while, waiting until your heartbeats have returned to a normal pace in each other’s arms, before you both lie down side by side, out of breath and grinning at the other.

“Didn’t think you’d get that good without me…” he mutters a comment.

“Hey!” you shout playfully. “What was I supposed to do if you just disappear on me like that?”

“You didn’t contact me either,” he tries to defend himself, but you both know it was him who stopped replying to your messages, even though your conversations were already scarce after graduating. For now you decide to say nothing - your mind filled with bliss from what your night out ended up turning into, you wouldn’t want to ruin the mood. Instead, he’s the one to break the silence.

“Wanna keep going?” he asks, scooting over closer to you and making you lie flat on your back, kissing a trail down your jawline and placing a hand on top of your stomach. “I wanna keep going,” he adds, more silently, as his fingers are already wandering south.

“Alright,” you mutter, your hand up in his hair again as he drags his fingers down your folds, dipping inside once and then coming back up to your clit to draw circles onto it. “If I walk weird tomorrow it’s your fault,” you add, laughing.

“You just made me wanna see that,” he jokes back, before pressing a kiss to the side of your throat and letting his fingers take care of you.

You keep in touch after that, texting each other throughout the day - even on those days where you barely find the time or energy to be social, you’ll at least send some memes back and forth - and meeting up whenever you both have some free time. It really feels like you’re continuing right where you had left off five years ago whenever you find yourselves unable to stop laughing because of your own bickering, or when you’re sitting side by side, having a more serious conversation and simply offering an open ear to the other. And at the same time something about the way you treat each other has undoubtedly changed. Of course you both grew up and you’re more mature than you were as high school students, but it seems there’s something else lingering in the air during every interaction you have, you just can’t really put your finger on what that is.

You also keep meeting up to have sex.

“So? What does that make us?” you ask a question into the dimly lit room, staring up at the ceiling. You’re both lying side by side on his bed, the sheets beneath you messed up as evidence of what you’ve been doing, and the chilly air in the room hitting your skin lets you cool down a bit.

“What? This?” Donghyuck asks, turning his head so he could look at you.

“Yeah,” you respond. “We’re not just friends if we’re constantly hooking up, are we?” Your words are accompanied by a chuckle, meant to tell him that you’re not being as serious as you sound. Or maybe you are, but mostly because your other friends keep asking where you’re sneaking off so frequently these days, and why you don’t seem to have the time to meet up with them anymore. And everytime you tell them you’re seeing a different friend, a part of you feels like you’re lying. Maybe that’s because they’ve stopped believing you too, and they keep urging you on to finally admit that you’re dating someone. But you’re not dating Donghyuck, right?

“Fuckbuddies?” He rolls onto his side, head supported by his hand, and he gives you a mischievous look.

“I guess,” you say, and after some consideration you add, “My friends keep asking who I’m meeting all the time. They think I have a boyfriend.”

“Well, what does it feel like when you kiss me?” You’re too stunned to speak for a moment, not expecting him to pose such a serious question.

“I mean… you’re a good kisser?” You grin at him, rolling onto your side as well so you could face him, and as you’re drawing near, he’s already reaching out to capture your chin between his thumb and index finger.

“That’s all?”

“I think so.” He lets his lips brush against yours, puffy and reddened from making out earlier, and you feel warmth wrap around you. You also feel safe with him, but that’s not exclusively related to him kissing you, so you don’t feel the need to mention it.

“Then I can’t be your boyfriend,” he mutters when you part.

“So friends… with benefits then?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, great,” you say, letting yourself fall onto your back, sinking into the mattress. “I can’t go around telling my friends that I’m seeing a fuckbuddy.” Your friend giggles beside you.

“I mean you don’t have to,” he says. “If it’s easier to explain, you can just pretend you’re seeing a boyfriend. I don’t mind.”

“I wonder…” you mumble, more to yourself than to him. “Then they’ll want to meet you, so… anyway.” You sit up, letting your feet dangle off the side of the bed. “I’m kinda hungry. You wanna order something?”

“I’ll make us some ramen. But we should shower first.” He sits up as well, and when you throw him a look over your shoulder, he cocks his head to the side, giving you another grin. “Together?” You laugh at his suggestion.

“You just want another round in there, don’t you? We’re never gonna get food in that case. I’m going alone.”

“Awww…” he whines in defeat and it makes you smile. You crawl closer to him, placing a peck onto his pouting lips.

“We kiss an awful lot for fuckbuddies, though,” you remark, and then you get up.

“I don’t think we’re kissing nearly enough…” he mumbles an answer. Amused by his words, you shoot him another glance, and then you trot off to the bathroom.

“You free Friday night?” You glance at your phone screen when it lights up to quickly read Donghyuck’s message that you just received, and as you let out a sigh, you return your focus to the notebook in front of you. Skimming through your handwritten notes from the lecture you visited every wednesday afternoon a year ago still gives you anxiety - you’re not sure what more you’re supposed to study than this and the materials displayed on your laptop screen, and yet you don’t feel nearly prepared enough. You’re in your last semester - or at least you’re planning for this to be the last one - and you finally forced yourself to register for the exam you keep postponing because you horribly failed it the first time. The worst part is that it’s an oral exam, so no turning back once you’ve answered (or not answered) a question, even if a better response comes to you later on during the exam. And you hate that, because you know your brain tends to black out in stressful situations, and panicking while you’re supposed to recite your knowledge on a complicated topic doesn’t exactly help with that. You tear your eyes away from the materials eventually, taking another sip of your coffee and then picking up your phone off the small round dinner table in your flat.

“Sorry, I don’t have time then ㅠㅠ” You press send, and it doesn’t take long for your friend to reply.

“On the weekend? I’m busy Saturday but Sunday is fine!!”

“I don’t think I can make time until Tuesday. Sorry. Difficult exam coming up…”

“Then you should take a break!! I’m sure you’ve been studying all day” He’s not wrong with his assumption, but still you can’t bring yourself to set aside a few hours to fool around with him. You wouldn’t be able to relax and truly get the exam off your mind anyway, so you refuse again, even if it hurts you.

It’s been like this for a while now. The last time you’ve seen Donghyuck’s face was almost three weeks ago - after that university and sending job applications have taken up all your free time, and the few hours you had in between to rest you simply spent alone in the comfort of your own apartment, feeling too exhausted to even consider making plans with someone else. You know it might do you good to get out more for other things than going to uni, but at the same time you know you simply don’t have the energy right now - or you would’ve already scheduled a meetup with friends. It sucks, and you’re hoping for some space to breathe in between your schedules sometime soon, but at the same time you know you will be busy with uni until your graduation, and from then on you’ll be busy getting accustomed to work and proving yourself there. And the more you think about it, the more it starts to dawn on you that things will likely not change in the near future, and that somehow the life of a freshman and that of a senior don’t really match well at all.

But you brush those thoughts off for now. The last thing you need right now is a distraction, and so you get back to revising the contents for the exam.

And then comes Sunday afternoon, and you can feel the panic coursing through your veins as if you were about to suffocate from it any second now. You’ve always had some kind of exam anxiety, but it’s never been this bad, and you have absolutely no idea what to do with it except endure and hope that tomorrow will pass quickly. That’s when your phone buzzes to let you know you’ve gotten a message, and what you see when you open the chat room tips you over the edge.

“This would’ve been more fun if we had watched it together~” - along with a picture of a laptop screen showing the credits of a movie, the interior of Donghyuck’s flat showing in the background. Your hands are shaking as you read his message, your head spinning because suddenly the stress and a feeling of helplessness overwhelms you. You end up doing the first thing that comes to mind - you call him. He picks up after the first ring.

“Jealous?” he teases you, and you stay quiet, your words suddenly stuck in your throat. Hearing only your ragged breathing, he sounds serious when he continues talking after a few moments of silence. “Are you okay?”

“No.”

“What’s up? Wanna talk about it?”

“...the exam…”

“Ahh… you’re freaking out because of it?”

“Y-yeah…” Tears well up in your eyes, but you fight hard to keep them from falling. You know if you start crying now, chances are you won’t be able to talk properly in order to explain yourself to him. “I studied everything but I don’t feel like it’s enough… I have no idea how I’m supposed to pass tomorrow…” A sob escapes you at the end of it, and Donghyuck doesn’t hesitate to answer,

“I’ll come over. Just wait for me and hold tight, I’ll be there in 30.”

And so that’s what he does. He doesn’t even give you the time to refuse when he hangs up, and sure enough roughly 30 minutes later he’s at your doorstep. Putting down his bags and taking off his shoes, the first thing he does is pull you into a tight hug.

“Come here,” whispered against the side of your head as he’s already holding you close, he hugs you until he can feel some of the tension leaving your body. When he finally lets you go, he picks up a paper bag he brought with him, holding it out to you and you take it from him. “I bought them on the way. I thought you could use some comfort food.” A glance inside the bag reveals a box decorated with the logo of your favourite bakery.

“Oh my god… thank you!” you exclaim, and you give him another hug as he lets out a bit of an awkward laugh.

“Ah, it’s fine, it’s nothing. Let’s have these while we go over your materials together, okay?”

“Huh?” You take a step back and raise your eyebrows at him.

“I came to help you study. So you can kick ass tomorrow!” Throwing a fist in the air in a victorious gesture, you cringe a bit at his childlike enthusiasm, but at the same time you feel thankful. Like you had been in free fall for the past days and finally someone came to catch you.

“Okay,” you accept his offer to help, and then you walk over to the small table in your living room where your laptop and your notes are scattered all over. Briefly organizing them, you skim through them together, and when you’ve reached the end of it, Donghyuck starts asking you random questions related to the topic that he can come up with. And with every question that you manage to answer, you feel just a little calmer, until you’ve gone through everything several times and it’s long dark outside.

“You’re gonna do well tomorrow,” the guy sitting next to you tells you, throwing his hand up in the air to do some stretching and you do the same, your body aching for a bit of movement after sitting down for hours.

“You think so?”

“Of course!” He seems almost offended at you doubting yourself now. “Look at all these things you memorized perfectly! You’re gonna be just fine.”

“You’re right…” you mutter. “I do feel more confident now.” Yet, you let your head hang.

“But…?” he asks.

“But… I know by the time the exam starts tomorrow I’ll be so nervous, I might forget everything…” He reaches for your hands, taking them into his and giving both of them a gentle squeeze as he looks intently at your face.

“Then you think about how well you just did and how long we just spent repeating everything you studied. With this much preparation, there’s no way you would fail.” You know that realistically speaking, that’s not necessarily true, but you decide to believe him for now. Putting trust into his words puts you at ease, so that’s what you’re going to do.

“Alright,” you say. “It’ll be fine.”

“Of course it will,” he says, laughing as if he had not a single doubt about it.

“But…”

“Another but?”

“It’s almost 2am,” you say.

“Oh.”

“Wanna stay over? It takes you ages to get home if you have to take the night buses, right?”

“It’s fine, I’ll just take a taxi,” he replies, adding, “I don’t wanna stress you out more by staying over.”

“No, I-” All the times you felt yourself forced to turn down his invitations to meet up during the past few weeks are suddenly fresh in your memory, and eventually you manage to say, “I’d actually be thankful if you could stay over… you know… keep the bad thoughts away…”

“Sure…” he responds, and growing very quiet suddenly, he gets up to wrap you into another hug. “I’ll stay.”

You each take a shower and get ready for bed, him throwing on some of his clothes you had lying around at your place anyway, and when you get under the sheets together, it feels different than usually when you sleep in the same bed. Neither of you has any thoughts about having sex for a change, and instead he simply pulls you close to let you rest your head on top of his chest. You wrap an arm around his waist as you listen to his heartbeat, already feeling sleepiness overcome you as you snuggle up to him and you can feel him drawing mindless patterns onto your skin. You feel a sense of peace and safety washing over you when your eyelids simply fall shut, and as you fall asleep you almost don’t register the way he presses a soft kiss onto your forehead.

When you open the email telling you that you got a C on your exam, the first thing you can think of doing is letting Donghyuck know.

“I passed!!!” You send him a message, and he surely doesn’t let you wait too long for an answer, along with a little sticker of a bear wearing a gold medal and giving a thumbs up.

“I told you so!!”

“It’s all thanks to you,” you write. “We need to go celebrate! Drinks on me.”

“Sounds good~”

With a broad smile on your face you put your phone into the pocket of your padded jacket. It has become cold outside, and there’s a thin layer of snow on the streets from last night. It’s the beginning of December, and before Christmas and new years you’re still going to be very busy. You have two job interviews coming up, have to prepare for your final exams and in between you should find some time to work on your dissertation. Still somehow you’re confident that you would easily be able to find a date where you can go out for your little celebration with your friend, but when you run into him on campus a week later, reality hits you right in the face.

“Y/N!” Donghyuck calls out to you as he spots you among a bunch of other students, and you fall behind to briefly talk to him.

“Oh, hi,” you say, not having seen him at all.

“You still didn’t reply to my messages,” he remarks and you immediately pull out your phone, indeed finding that you’ve left him on read two days ago.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” you apologize as you remember that you clearly had the intent to respond to him, but then very obviously failed to do so. “Ah, if we can meet… today?”

“Yesterday,” he corrects you. “But I guess that didn’t happen…” You can unmistakably see the disappointment in his expression, even though he’s doing his utmost to hide it, and you furrow your brows at the sight in front of you.

“I’m sorry… I must’ve forgotten to reply while studying or something,” you say, unable to look him in the face. “You know, finals coming up.”

“Yeah… I’m studying a lot too these days,” he says, quickly adding, “But I guess as a senior it’s only natural that you’re even busier than I am.” His words sting for some reason, but it’s not like he’s wrong. Truth be told, you’ve been studying every free minute for the past few days, and in between you had a job interview that you don’t have the best of gut feelings about. You were so busy that you barely manage to have three meals a day, and yet you feel guilty about not being able to make time for him.

“I’m really sorry, Hyuck…” you say and he mutters an “it’s okay” as an answer. “But it’s not, is it?” To that he merely glances to the side, showing a sorry smile. And right then you have an idea. “You know what?” As you reach out to take his hand into yours, he raises his eyebrows at you, taken by surprise by your sudden action. “Let’s set a date right now. Then we don’t have to worry about me forgetting to reply or something.”

“But… that won’t change the fact that you’re super busy…” he reasons, but you cut him off.

“It’s fine, I should be able to spare at least a few hours,” you say, opening your calendar app on your phone and scrolling through the days until exam week starts. “How about next Friday? Friday night sounds like a good time for a little study break and having a celebration instead.”

“S-sure.” You barely notice how he’s atypically dumbfounded at your enthusiasm, only focusing on the fact that you finally found a date to see each other again.

“Great! My place or yours?” you ask, already typing it into your phone.

“Mine… you wanna bring the drinks? Then I’ll take care of the food,” he offers, now taking his phone out as well, probably to put the meet up into his calendar as well.

“Sounds good,” you say in a rush. “Then I’ll see you Friday! Sorry, but… I really have to go now. I was gonna study some more at the library - you coming too?”

“Ah, no, I… have class in half an hour,” he explains briefly, and as you wave your goodbyes and you’re already running off, you fail to notice how his shoulders are suddenly slouched over and there’s a hint of disappointment in the way he looks at you as you’re walking away.

You sigh as you stare at the email you just received, and you immediately regret even checking your mailbox in the middle of studying in the first place. You got rejected for the last job you applied to - but at least you should be thankful that they let you know about it in the first place, right? After all, the last two companies didn’t even do that much after your interview with them. You gulp, trying to swallow all the disappointment bubbling up inside and attempting to shove it back down to where it came from, and then eventually you cross your arms on the table, resting your head on top and you close your eyes for a while. Another sigh escapes you, and you feel the weight of your responsibilities lay heavily on your shoulders. You’re trying not to beat yourself up over not having found a job for after your graduation yet - you know that everyone’s struggling with finding employment these days. But you really don’t want to take on a job you’re overqualified for, or one that’s not in your field of studies at all. You’ve already made too many compromises because of this, like being willing to move to another city for your job, or expanding on what type of positions you’re applying to. And still, nothing. It’s starting to get to you, even though you hate that it is, and even though you had told yourself to focus on your exams and your dissertation first and foremost. But all of these things stacked on top of each other have led you to lose your spark a bit, and there’s no denying you’re starting to feel burnt out.

You tell yourself it’s fine, it will pass and eventually your life will get less stressful again. But for now you can feel that you’re at your limit, and you could really use some comfort.

“Right,” you mutter to yourself, lifting your head and looking at the date displayed in the bottom corner of your laptop screen. “Only a few hours to go. Then I can see him.” It’s Friday afternoon, and so you take a deep breath and bring yourself to study some more, before you can finally go to Donghyuck’s place, spending a full evening not having to think about any of this. Burying your head in your books and your lecture notes, you end up not realizing how fast the time is passing, and next time you check the clock, it’s already past 7.

“Oh god…” you quickly pick up your phone, seeing that your friend already sent you a message asking where you are. You were scheduled to be at his place at 7, but somehow you completely lost track of time.

“I’m so sory I didn’t realize hwo late is is. Ill hurry!!” You type up that message as quickly as possible, ignoring the typos as you send it, and then you jump out of your seat to get ready.

It’s almost 8pm when he opens the door for you and you apologize first thing as you hand him the tote bag with the alcohol you had promised to bring.

“Ah, but you thought of the important stuff,” he says with a forced smile, trying to brighten the mood a bit before he invites you in and you kick off your shoes and take off your coat to follow him inside.

“I’m really really sorry,” you say once again when you’ve made yourself comfortable on his couch. “I was studying and suddenly it was already this late…”

“It’s okay,” Donghyuck says as he carries over two glasses from the kitchen, handing you one of them. “We’re both busy, it’s not like I don’t understand.”

“But you’re upset.”

“A little,” he admits without looking you in the eyes, and when he continues talking, he does his best to sound cheerful. “But let’s not let that ruin the entire evening. We were both looking forward to today, right?”

“Yeah,” you say. “You won’t believe how glad I am to finally be here,” you add, and you feel the way your body relaxes just by being near him. You earn yourself a bright smile for that comment, before he lifts up the glass in his hand.

“I found the recipe for this a few days ago and wanted to try it,” he says. “I thought it’s your style.” You find a few ice cubes swimming in the beverage he handed you, along with a slice of lemon. The color is a dark shade of yellow at the bottom, and completely transparent at the top, and you nod at the presentation.

“It looks good,” you say. “I’ll try it. Cheers!” Each taking a sip, you agree that you like the taste, and the guy sitting next to you on his sofa explains,

“The recipe says you should put a bit of mint in as well, but… I didn’t have any.”

“I think it’s good the way it is… but, I’m starving. Let’s order food?”

“Me too,” he answers, getting out his phone.

You order takeout, and while you eat and drink, you watch a movie that you’ve both been wanting to see for some time. You end up chatting here and there during less interesting scenes, and even though you enjoy the movie overall, you enjoy talking to him more. Eventually, as your eyelids begin to feel heavy, you rest your head on his shoulder and he lets you, and you don’t think anything of the peaceful smile he gives you upon feeling you so close to him. He puts one of his hands on top of your thigh, mindlessly rubbing his palm up and down, and by the end of the movie you can’t deny anymore that his actions are affecting you. Credits still rolling, you turn your head to face him, and wordlessly you kiss him, his lips melting against yours. You part for a mere second in which you put your hand behind his neck, and as you let yourself fall against the backrest of his sofa, he hovers above you, distance closing again.

“Hyuck…” you breathe his name when you part the next time. “Need you…”

“Let’s go somewhere more comfortable,” he mutters into a sweet kiss, and then he gets up, taking you by your hands to pull you up along with him. As soon as you step into the bedroom you pull him in for another kiss, and you stumble backwards as he steers you towards his bed. He barely lets you lie down when he’s already on top of you, kissing you more deeply. Tongue running across your lip to ask for permission to enter, you allow it without hesitation, and you moan at the way he kisses you slowly but passionately.

“I’ll take care of you,” he says after parting, “just lean back, okay?”

“Okay…” you answer and he lets his fingertips wander down your clothed body. Undoing the button of your jeans, he unhurriedly slips his hand inside them, and he watches you intently as his fingertips brush against your soaked panties, his voice sultry as he teases you, “So wet already… I didn’t know you were that desperate for me…” Before letting you answer, he leans in to place a lingering kiss to the corner of your mouth, starting to rub up and down between your folds slowly.

“I thought I’d go crazy without this…” you confess, arms wrapped around him and one hand up in his hair. You play with his locks as he teases you, and you whine, “More, please… don’t make me wait even longer…”

“What do you want, baby?” he asks, and then he buries his face in your neck, leaving kisses there as you throw your head back.

“Anything… even if it’s just your fingers, please just get me off…” you beg, only now realizing just how desperate you really are. Donghyuck gulps at your words, and he kisses his way up to your jaw and along it, until his lips are hovering right above yours.

“Tell me how badly you need me…” he mutters, pushing the fabric of your underwear aside so he could touch you directly. “I wanna hear everything.” As he starts rubbing small circles on your clit his lips go back to tending to your neck, kissing and nipping on the sensitive skin and making it that much more difficult for you to form coherent sentences. Still you can’t but do as told.

“So bad… need you so bad,” you mewl. “I tried to get off so many times, but nothing feels as good as when you touch me…” He hums at your words, granting you a finger dipping inside your pussy for just a moment in return and gasping at just how wet you are.

“I’ll make up for it,” he says. “I’ll make you cum so good.” You whimper, and then you instinctively buck your hips as his finger ghosts above your entrance. You hear him curse through gritted teeth at how needy you’re becoming, and blood rushes to your head from the thought alone that your state could turn him on so much as well.

“Please… just give me your fingers…” you whine, and to your surprise Donghyuck doesn’t drag out his teasing for longer. And so you cry out when he pushes inside, pumping in and out of you while watching your every reaction to his touch. “Fuck…” you hiss, already seeing your high approaching from far away. “I’m not gonna last long…”

“It’s okay,” he coos over you. “Wanna feel you cum around my fingers… can you take another one?”

“Y-yes… yes please…” you say mindlessly, only being able to think about how you want to feel him more. The stretch is bearable when he pushes into you with three fingers, and when he presses his thumb against your bundle of nerves, fingering you skillfully, you think you’re about to lose your mind. “Fuck… yes… don’t stop, please…” you mewl as he slowly picks up speed until he can see the bliss on your facial features. At this point all you can do is moan his name and dig your nails into his shoulder blades as you cling to him, bucking your hips in chase of your orgasm.

“Shit, you’re so pretty…” you hear him mutter under his breath as he marvels at the sight in front of him, and next thing you know your whole body is shaken by the force of your high. You whine as he fucks you through it, right until your last aftershocks, and then you simply close your eyes as you lay back on his bed, feeling the exhaustion from the past weeks taking over you. Licking his fingers clean after pulling out of you, he then captures your chin between his thumb and index finger to make you look at him.

“What do you want me to do next?” he asks, his words sounding maybe even sweeter than usual to your ears, and you blame it on the way your mind is still in a haze from your orgasm. You think about it for a short while, and in the end you simply snuggle up to him closely.

“Let’s just… stay like this for a while,” you answer. “If that’s okay with you… I think I just need to be close to you.”

“Sure…” Donghyuck mutters, a bit taken aback by your response that must’ve come very unexpectedly to him. However, he doesn’t hesitate to put an arm around your frame, making you feel safe in a warm embrace. “That good?” he asks, and when you nod he presses his lips against your forehead, lingering there for a while.

You don’t move, not knowing how much time is passing while you’re merely listening to the other’s breathing and enjoying each other’s warmth. At that moment, you wish you could stay like this forever, but as you close your eyes and begin to relax, all your thoughts from the past weeks about your situation with him catch up to you one by one. Deep inside you know it can’t stay like this. And the longer you’re dragging this out, the more clearly you can see just how unfair this is on him. And so eventually, you don’t see any other plausible course of action to take next than to start talking.

“Thank you… for being by my side,” you mutter. Your hand having found its way into his, you’re playing with his fingers, eyes focused on that. “I don’t know what I would’ve done without you lately… really.”

“Of course!” he responds, moving back a bit to get a proper look at your face. “You know I’d do anything for you.” You chuckle at his exaggerated words, letting go of his hand and ruffling his hair instead.

“I’m glad to have met you again,” you continue. “But… I’ve been thinking, you know? And I don’t think we can go on like this.”

“What…?”

“Just… I’m only gonna get busier, you know…?” The exact moment that he sits up, his comforting touch being torn away from you as he stares at you with disbelief on his face, you inevitably begin to feel like you fucked up. But you started this now, and there’s no way you could dig yourself back out of this mess, so you decide it’d be for the best to just see it through and be honest with him. “You know that I could never pay you back all that you’ve done for me… Hyuck.” You call out his name, but he barely even reacts with nothing but a blank expression in his eyes. You could’ve sworn you’ve never seen him this pale. “I’m gonna graduate, Hyuck. You’ll still be a student when I start working. Hell, I might have to move somewhere completely different if I don’t find a job in this city soon. And once I do find employment, I’m gonna have to work my ass off to prove my worth. I won’t have time to fool around like this anymore…”

“Fool… around…?” he repeats, speaking slowly, as his expression suddenly reflects a hundred complicated feelings. “Fool around… was all this is to you?”

“I mean… we’re friends too, obviously-”

“Y/N,” he cuts you off, and the way he says your name stabs you like a knife. “I have feelings too, you know. You can’t just…” A bitter laugh escapes him. “You’re going to tell me that it’s better if we didn’t see each other anymore, aren’t you?”

“No!” you immediately refute. “I mean-... look, we can stay friends, but I don’t know how much we’ll actually be able to see each other-”

“Friends?” he repeats in utter disbelief. “You don’t realize it, do you?”

“Realize what-”

“I’m in love with you, Y/N. I love you.”

“What…?” That is all you manage to reply to his confession. You really did never notice it, and so this comes as a shock to you. You realize that maybe him saying he’d do anything for you wasn’t an exaggeration at all, but you didn’t think he’d keep this fuckbuddy thing up if he had feelings for you all along. As if he had read your mind, he says,

“I’m sorry… I-... I didn’t want to tell you like this…” he speaks, his head hanging low now. “Not when I know you have a thousand other things to worry about, but… I just couldn’t… you said all these hurtful things. I don’t think you know how much hearing all that just now hurts.”

“I-,” you begin, but you don’t know what to say. You stare at him in utter disbelief for a moment, and then all of a sudden, from one second to the other, you feel like you’re going to suffocate if you don’t get out of here as fast as possible. “I… I can’t do this right now.” You get up off the bed and zip up your jeans. Your head is in chaos and your emotions are all jumbled up, but the one thing you can clearly feel is the anger burning in your veins. You truly are upset that he dropped such a bomb on you just before exams start and you need a clear head more than anything. “I’m going home… sorry,” you mutter under your breath, and without another look back at the guy who can’t do anything but watch as you’re slipping out of his grasp once again, you walk out of the door.

“Good luck for your exams” You let out a sigh as you finally delete the notification of the message Donghyuck sent you four days ago as you’re on your way to uni for your last exam. It’s Friday noon and you can’t wait for all of this to be over, the beginning of winter break feeling like you’re finally about to reach the safe shore after you’ve been almost drowning for weeks.

You didn’t talk to Donghyuck for the entirety of the week - of course, or you would’ve long answered his message that he sent you on Monday. But you couldn’t bring yourself to, you didn’t even dare open the chatroom. Instead, you had focused on the necessities to get you through this week: sleep, eat, revise everything you studied, be on time for your exams, rinse and repeat. And now that it’s already the last day of this nightmare, you can’t wait to simply crash into bed once you arrive home tonight.

It’s true that you’ve been feeling the relief after every single exam you finished, like some of the weight was taken off your shoulder with each time you walk out of a lecture hall. And yet you still feel the tiredness in your bones, but there’s something else tugging at your limbs and trying to make you stop running from one task to the other. However, you don’t let it. Too big is the fear of what you might find if you do stop and have a look, so you force all thoughts out of your mind that have nothing to do with your exams. And today as well your mind is empty when you take your seat and you’re handed the paper you’re supposed to fill out during the next one and a half hours, trusting your memory and your ability to recall the correct answers you have studied to each question.

As you’re leaving the lecture hall, finally done with the last one of your exams, somebody calls out to you. You turn your head to find one of your friends catching up with you, greeting you with a lively expression on her face.

“We’re finally done,” she says. “Now we only need to wait for our final paper to be graded and then we’re free!”

“Yeah,” you respond, trying to sound cheerful but inevitably failing. You’re just tired at this point, and no matter how relieved you are that exams are over, you can’t bring yourself to be happy.

“What’s with you?” your friend asks, concern in her voice. “Do you have to redo one of your exams?”

“No, no, it’s nothing,” you assure her, but she doesn’t buy it.

“There’s something up with you. Did studying take that much out of you?”

“I guess,” you reply as you walk down the hallway with her, but then you hesitate. “Actually… nevermind.”

“Hm? Y/N, what is it? You’re being really weird.” She steps in front of you, making you halt on the spot, but eventually she keeps walking. “It’s okay, I shouldn’t pressure you to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

“...it’s about a friend,” you admit finally.

“A friend?” she repeats. “Did something happen to them?”

“No, just… we just haven’t seen each other much lately, and… yeah.” You lower your head and she steps closer.

“That must be a very good friend if you miss them so much,” she states, matter of factly, and that’s when you feel a stab right to your heart, putting you in physical pain.

“Right…” you mutter. Without you realizing, Donghyuck’s presence has painted your ordinary days in a color of hope, wrapping you in a feeling of safety whenever you’re with him and making you become way too comfortable around him. And now that it’s come this far, you don’t know how you’re supposed to scratch off all that paint anymore. The thought alone makes you feel sick to the stomach - you shouldn’t have been such an idiot. You knew where this would lead, and that you wouldn’t have the time to fool around with him anymore once you’ve graduated. A feeling of deep regret overcomes you.

You shouldn’t have said yes when he suggested leaving your class reunion together.

When you get home that day, you finally let yourself feel the full consequences of the past weeks filled with stress and you crash into your bed immediately. You haven’t planned to go to sleep this early, but at some point you simply find yourself drifting off, and the next time you open your eyes it’s Saturday morning.

Your body aches as you force yourself to get out of bed, and when you open the curtains and the sunlight blinds your eyes, you curse existence itself. You trod over to the bathroom, wash your face, and after finding yourself unable to look at your reflection in the mirror, you return to your little kitchen to get yourself a simple breakfast. Finishing it while scrolling through social media on your phone, you then get yourself back to your bed, plummeting down on it and grabbing one of the books stacked atop your bedside table that you never found the time to finish while uni has kept you occupied. You open it on the page you had left off weeks ago, and after fighting your way through roughly two and a half paragraphs, you give up and you put the book back to where it’s been resting untouched until now. Your mind just won’t let you focus on this now, so you pick your heavy body up off the comfortable sheets and decide to take a shower first of all.

Things continue like this for the next few days. Even though exams are finally over, you just can’t find it in you to rest properly. Neither going out to have fun nor staying at home and having some quality alone time sound appealing to you, and soon enough you figure out why. No matter what you do or where you are, there’s this constant pain in your chest dragging you down, because time and time again you find yourself impulsively wanting to tell Donghyuck about your day, or even just sending him a funny meme you found on instagram. But you can’t. In a way this reminds you of five years ago, when you started spending less and less time together in high school and then eventually broke up with each other. You recall finding yourself in situations like this back when you started college as well, wanting to tell him about something fun or exciting that happened but feeling unable to, because it’s already been months since you had last talked. However, there’s one significant difference between then and now.

Then, you merely found it a shame that you couldn’t freely text him or talk to him anymore. But you had moved on, finding new friends to talk to about those same things. Now, it’s like someone had torn a chunk of yourself out of your chest, and you’re slowly bleeding out as your nervous system prevents you from doing anything at all, signaling you that there must be a more urgent matter to take care of first. And only once you come to understand that this matter has to do with nothing other than Donghyuck himself, that’s when something finally connects in your mind. Your days have been painted with his colors, but maybe you’re not supposed to get rid of all that paint. Maybe you’re simply supposed to embrace it, because after all those years he’s become someone who’s just right for you. And maybe he’s become someone you can even come to love.

No, he’s already someone you love, you just never realized it.

Without thinking, you open your chatroom with Donghyuck, his last message still unanswered, and you start typing.

“I need to see you.”

“Now.”

You stand on his doorstep, taking a deep breath. Donghyuck had texted you back eventually, offering to meet at his place, so that’s where you are now, nervous to ring the doorbell. It was you who suddenly decided to come see him, so why are you so hesitant?

Another deep breath, exhaled shakily, and you reach out to press the bell button. Maybe 10 seconds later, the door opens, and when Donghyuck mutters a greeting with a distant expression in his eyes, it’s like a slap to your face.

“Come in, I guess,” he says as he’s already turning around, and you do as told. Taking your shoes off, you follow him a few steps inside, and shooting you a cold look, he asks, “What do you need to talk about?”

You’ve never seen him like this. Even when you broke up at the end of high school there wasn’t such a dark expression on his face. At that moment you have no idea how to shake off the guilt anymore, and so all you can do is let the words burst out of you.

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry for doing this to you.” He watches you with a look over his shoulder and you let your head hang, hoping he isn’t aware of the way tears are welling up in your eyes. “I can’t imagine how much I must’ve hurt you.” You add those words through gritted teeth, afraid of a sob suddenly making its way past your lips if you’re not careful.

“Then why are you the one crying?” he asks, staying surprisingly calm.

“B-because…” You gulp, and figuring that it’s too late anyway, you lift your chin to look at him and you use the sleeves of your shirt to wipe the tears from your eyes. “Because I’m an idiot. And I don’t want to see the person I love suffer.”

“Y/N…” he breathes your name before turning around fully to face you. He steps closer, but still keeps a good distance between you two. “You rejected me only a few days ago…”

“I know.” Your words are merely a whisper now. “Because I was scared… the future seems so overwhelming that I kept thinking I don’t have space for something like this. But… that doesn’t mean… that I didn’t still fall in love with you.” Silence follows, the only sound disrupting it being the soft sigh Donghyuck lets out before he finally closes the distance between you.

“Can I… hold you?” You nod at his question and you let him come closer, until you find yourself safely wrapped into his embrace, his warm breath tickling your neck as he buries his face there.

“I’m so sorry for how I acted… you must really hate me now…” you mutter, and you’re almost startled when your friend lets out a laugh as he’s holding you.

“Yes, because I always go around hugging my enemies like this,” he says with a tired yet cheeky grin on his lips, and seeing that expression on his face suddenly washes all your worries away.

“Right…”

“It’s okay, Y/N… I know you had a rough time. I shouldn’t have confessed to you so suddenly either,” he apologizes, but you immediately shake your head, vigorously.

“No, don’t say sorry! I… I kind of get it… that it had to get out,” you say. “Especially after I said all those hurtful things to you.” He brings one hand up to your cheek, brushing his knuckles against the skin there and as his eyes scan your facial features you can unmistakably see how much he adores you. It makes your heart soar, and you part your lips as your gaze falls to his mouth.

“Y/N,” he calls out to you. “Does that mean… I can ask you to be my girlfriend now?”

“Sure…” you mumble, the urge to feel his lips on yours clouding your mind. “And when I’m your girlfriend… can you kiss me then?”

“Of course,” he chuckles, and he takes a tiny step away from you so he could take your hands into his, intertwining your fingers. “Y/N, would you be my girlfriend?” You can’t suppress the smile that creeps onto your face as you listen to his question, and you nod.

“Yes, please,” you answer. “Let me be your girlfriend.” And then he kisses you, slowly and carefully, and this time you aren’t confused on what those feelings he’s pouring into this kiss are. This time you know that it’s all the love he has for you, and you let it wrap you into a veil of warmth and comfort, feeling safe with him.

“I love you,” you mutter in between kisses, and eventually your hands find their way up into his hair. You kiss him back as you comb through it, and when you hear him whisper those same words back at you in between kisses, you once again can’t control the smile on your lips. You part to look at each other, finding an unmistakable desire for more behind his gaze, and so you begin moving as you connect your lips to his again.

"I'm sorry..." you mutter in between kisses, as you're steering him towards the bedroom, and he lets out a sigh against your lips in response. "I want to make it up to you."

"You don't have to," Donghyuck mutters with his hands on your waist, and you reach the bed, positioning yourselves so you could have him sit with one swift push against his chest. Crawling on top of him as he merely looks up at you, eyes half-lidded and lips slightly parted while he awaits your next kiss, he's already completely drunk on you.

"Then see it as me taking care of you?" you whisper, reconnecting your lips to his. Your arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders and him having his hands securely placed on your sides for stability, you merely keep kissing like that. Unhurriedly, because now you both know there's nothing rushing you anymore, nothing that would tear you apart.

"I love you." He mutters those words as you part, and when you open your eyes you can see him already nervously peeking up at you. You can't help but smile endearingly, cupping his cheek with one hand before you lean in for another sweet kiss to his reddened lips.

"I love you too, Hyuck," you say just when you pull back, and you let your fingertips wander down his upper body. Watching his face closely for his reactions, you pull his shirt off him, tossing it to the floor, and then you add, "Lie down for me, baby. I'll make you feel good." It comes as a surprise even to you to see him obey so quickly, and you let your palm glide down the bare skin on his chest and abdomen as he lies back. And then, when you reach for his wrists to pin them against the bed right next to his head, you can see a slight but still apparent blush creeping onto his cheeks, and he lets out a sound that's somewhere between a groan and a quiet whine.

"Fuck, you make me go crazy," you mutter as you press another kiss to his puffy lips, and when you sink your teeth into his bottom lip he moans into your mouth, the act alone sending heatwaves through your body. You instinctively roll your hips on top of his, earning yourself another small mewl from him, and then you trail kisses from the corner of his mouth to his throat. He leans his head back to give you better access, brows furrowed as he sighs in contentment. Forming his hands into fists, he digs his nails into his palms and whines some more as you continue grinding down on him, and the way you feel him grow underneath you turns you on as well. And then eventually you let go of his wrists to work your way down, peppering kisses all over his chest as he immediately throws his arms around your body, holding onto you tightly.

"Hyuck..." you call out his name as you sit up briefly, and then you continue trailing nips and kisses down his body. "Let me hear you." He curses as your hand ghosts above his core, watching you with an expectant gaze in his eyes. You pull down the sweatpants he's wearing, and then his underwear, both just enough so his hard length is exposed. You wrap your fingers around him, and you kneel above him now, one of his thighs positioned between your legs, so you could get a good look at his face as you start to slowly jerk him off.

"Look at me," you demand, and he does, the blush returning to his cheeks.

"Faster..." he mutters, barely audible, and you teasingly ask him to repeat himself. "Faster, please..." he begs through gritted teeth, and when you tighten your grip on his shaft just a little bit, he responds with a moan. "Can't take it..."

"Are you gonna let me hear more of those pretty moans?" you question, lips quivering in anticipation.

"Y-yes..." You don't know if your mind is tricking you or if his blush is growing just a bit darker as he answers, but either way you begin to move your hand faster, having him whining underneath you as he throws his head back. You watch with your lips slightly parted, and it's not like you've never seen him like this before, but there's just something about the way he gives himself up to pleasure when you have him in this kind of position that always gets you going. You move your hips in tune with the speed at which you get him off, grinding your clothed core down on his thigh, and he pushes his leg up just a bit to give you more friction.

"Shit..." you hiss, pleasure clouding your mind, and Donghyuck reaches down to wrap his fingers around your hand, guiding you into a faster pace. You collect the precum leaking his tip and use it as lube to glide down his length more smoothly, and as you can see on his face that he's about to lose himself to the sensation, you mutter a warning, "Don't cum yet."

"But-" he whines, and you take your hand away just before he can reach his high. "Y/N..." he desperately whines your name and you lean in to press a soothing kiss somewhere onto his chest, and then another one against his cheek.

"I wanna have you cumming inside me," you whisper, and when you sit back up you quickly rid yourself of all your clothes, in the end helping him out of his pants as well. You crawl on top of him, your hands placed on his shoulders for support, and you let out a curse as you roll your hips against him, his tip rubbing against your folds. And once again he whines, pressing his eyes tightly shut and digging his nails into your hips.

"Just fuck me already..." he breathes, but you have other plans.

"Be good and I will, baby," you coo as you repeat your motion without letting him slip inside you. He begins to squirm underneath you, visibly fighting to suppress his orgasm, and you swear you could cum from the sight alone. "Fuck... you're so fucking hot like that, Hyuck..." you mutter through gritted teeth, his repeated whines sounding like music to your ears.

"C-can't... hold back..." And once again you stop the stimulation just as he's about to cum, and with a frustrated groan he throws his head back into the mattress, dragging his nails down your skin. You reach for his hands, and as you intertwine your fingers you pin them above his head, and you can't but coo over the desperate look he gives you, and the way his cheeks are reddening again.

"You gonna cum right when I take you in, aren't you?" you ask, smirking at him after pressing a kiss to his forehead. "So desperate for my pussy..." And he can't do anything but whine at your words, because you both know you're right, and him denying it would just make him look stupid. "Then cum for me, baby," you mutter against his lips as you seal them with yours, running your tongue along his mouth to deepen the kiss. You sink down on him, taking in his size with ease, and the second you start rolling your hips he releases inside you as he moans into your mouth. Heat rushes through your veins when you part and you sit up, letting go of his wrists and combing the fingers of one hand through his disheveled hair instead.

"Didn't think you really would cum the instant you're inside me," you mock him, earning yourself another whine from him. "And I bet you're also gonna be hard again in no time if I keep this up," you mumble, rolling your hips on top of him slowly. "Such a sucker for when I'm in control, huh?"

"Yeah..." he breathes out, and you unexpectedly feel your heart swell at his answer. Usually he'd be fighting back by now, trying to battle you for dominance or at least being bratty, but today you really just have him at your mercy unconditionally.

"Is it because I finally said that I love you?" you conclude, as if he had heard your thought process.

"Huh?" You run your fingers through his hair again, and then you lean in for another deep kiss.

"Do you like it that much when I play with you like this, or are you being good because you're scared I'll leave if you're not perfect for me?" Donghyuck stares at you for a while as you sit back up, the blush on his cheeks fading, and when he finally reaches out to you to press your body against his for a tight embrace, he answers,

"No, I trust you. And I kinda like it when you sometimes use me." A storm of emotions washing over you, you bring some distance between you and him slowly, and after mustering his genuine expression for a while, you reach for his hands once again.

"Don't touch me," you order as you put them back into their place above his head. "And don't cum until I tell you to. If you wanna be my little toy you gotta be good, alright?"

"Alright." He gulps, taking you in as you're sitting on top of him, starting to ride him with one hand sliding down your body, fingertips reaching your core to give yourself some extra stimulation. Eyes dripping with honey, he keeps his hands in place, and the more you can feel him growing inside you, the more you can also see him struggling to keep his composure.

"Fuck, you're so sexy," he mutters eventually, and you hum a praise to signal him to keep going. "Feels so good... wanna be good for you..."

"That's right..." you mutter, your eyelids fluttering shut as you bounce on top of him, rubbing circles onto your clit. You position yourself so that everytime you sink down on him his tip would graze that perfect spot inside you, and along with listening to his words and the way his voice starts shaking from the pleasure has you seeing stars soon enough.

"U-use me, please... wanna feel you cum on my cock..." he sputters, and you moan at his pleas.

"Doing so well for me, baby... shit, nobody could ever make me feel as good as you..." He whines desperately as you keep your pace slow, in hopes of bringing him as close as possible to the edge as you're racing towards your own high. "Hyuck..." you mutter his name, your voice trembling. "Cum with me." Another moan falling from his lips and you feel yourself shaken by your orgasm, clenching around him as he spills inside you a second time.

"Shit..." With a curse you collapse on top of him, finding him wrapping his arms around you in a comforting motion, and you add, "You were amazing." He nuzzles his face into the side of your head, lips brushing against your temple, and once you've caught your breath a bit you give him a proper kiss. "I'm sorry... for trying to push you away like th-" Donghyuck puts his index finger across your lips, shutting you up in the process, and with a soft smile he shakes his head.

"Stop apologizing," he says. "It's okay now. Let's focus on the future, and how we can build it together." His hand cupping your face and his thumb brushing against your cheek make your heart skip a beat, and you simply nod.

"You're right," you respond, and you lie back down on top of him, nestling into his chest. "If we just have each other, we can make it through anything."

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