DETAILS ▸ 488 words · jaehyun x reader · fluff(?) · parents!au
CONTENT WARNINGS ▸ mentions food !
GELA SAYS ▸ so..... after weeks of experiencing writer’s block and a lot of breakdowns, this is all i’ve got lol inspired by this tiktok vid !
Having 3 year old twins who want to be next to you 24/7, it was a challenge putting them to sleep. Despite playing with them the whole day, Dasom and Jaejin have a lot of energy stored inside their bodies— plenty enough to keep them up past their usual bedtime which was at 7:30. Tonight, while getting ready for bed, you craved something after seeing it for the nth time on your TikTok FYP; McDonald’s.
As a parent, you try your best to serve healthy foods to your kids, which means to you, eating the same food because like they say, you are your kids’ role model. You didn’t ban any fast food in your home, you were just trying to limit it to the kids. So when you told Jaehyun that you were craving for some burger, nuggets and fries, he immediately got out of bed and grabbed his keys— he was out of the door in seconds.
You quietly peeked through the door of the kids’ room, the two were out like a light. Carefully, you left the door ajar and made light steps towards the front door. Jaehyun greets you with a big smile on his face, dimples popping out as he holds the bag of food in his hands. Successfully, the two of you retreat back to your room without making any noise that could wake up the kids.
“I missed this so much,” You say, taking a bite of the chicken nugget. “Thanks for agreeing to buy these.”
Jaehyun nodded his head, taking a piece of fries. “Remember the days when we didn’t have to hide in our bedroom whenever we buy fast food?”
“Yeah, the last time we ordered food without two toddlers running after us was when they were still infants.” You chuckle, “Those big babies won’t leave us alone.”
You and Jaehyun ate the rest while watching the movie you’ve been dying to watch. After the movie, Jaehyun made sure not to leave any traces of the food you ate. Discarding it immediately to the trash and slept.
The next morning, while getting ready for work and the kids to daycare, your son, Jaejin approaches you with a pout.
“Is there something wrong, baby?” You ask, kneeling to meet his eyes and brushed his thick, healthy hair.
“You and daddy ate McDonald’s last night…”
“What…? How did—” You stopped mid sentence when you saw your toddler holding one of the sauces that you didn’t consume last night. You told Jaehyun to get rid of them, “Well, we did. How about we eat McDonald’s for dinner tonight to make it up to you?”
Jaejin nods his head happily and runs back to the kitchen, just in time, Jaehyun comes out of the room. “Jaejin saw the sauce, we’re having McDonald’s again.”
“Damn, I hid that sauce on the highest fridge cabinet.” Jaehyun sighed, “he’s like a K9 on duty.”
COPYRIGHT © THEJE0NGS. 2022. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
DO NOT REPOST OR TRANSLATE.
You should’ve known better than to have taken dating advice from Lee Donghyuck, but the green-eyed monster inside you was growing restless.
pairing: idol!taeyong x fem!reader
other members: lee haechan, suh johnny, jeong jaehyun, lee mark, and the rest of the dreamies. Ft. giselle of aespa.
word count: 2.8k
genre: romance, fluff, slight angst
warnings: suggestive scene and references (minors dni please)
disclaimer: this is a fanfiction purely from my imagination. I do not know the nct members (or giselle) and do not claim that they act like this in real life. I also do not condone any of the activity by any of the characters in this fic.
a/n: wow this took me a long time to get through, sorry about that. I also feel like it’s not my best :( but it’s something. Only the title is inspired by olivia rodrigo’s song, not anything else in the story. Thanks for your support loves <3
You should’ve known better than to have taken dating advice from Lee Donghyuck, but the green-eyed monster inside you was growing restless.
“I’m not jealous, Hyuck,” you rolled your eyes as he laughed, not believing you for a second. Donghyuck was born with a naturally low attention span and had the permanent personality of a pre-pubescent child, but somehow, he always knew exactly how you were feeling.
“Look, I came here to talk to you tonight, and after Chenle came and told you that he thinks Giselle has been flirting with Taeyong, that’s all we’ve been talking about for,” he swished his head dramatically, flicking out his phone from the front of his jeans, “um, exactly 28 minutes. So yes, you are in fact, jealous.”
You couldn’t help the cloud of disappointment that shrouded your expression instantaneously, proving him right. Gritting your teeth, you exhaled, exasperated. “Okay, fine!”
He sucked in his front teeth, shaking his head rhythmically from side to side. “Oh,__. The first speed bump in her otherwise perfect relationship. Just how will she manage?”
This earned him a slap on his forearm from you, but it didn’t stop his giggling. He was right. Again.
You and Taeyong were known to be the perfect couple, even amongst the tiny group of people who actually knew about the relationship. You were far from perfect, but you could attest to the fact that Taeyong was beyond flawless. Just like the untouchable standard he maintained in his rapping, his dancing, his leadership, he kept that same standard as a boyfriend. You were extremely lucky to be dating someone like him.
But sometimes, it felt like he was…too perfect.
You know that sounded ridiculous to say out loud, and whenever the thought even crossed your mind, you pushed it away. You felt guilty and spoilt, like a rich girl who, with the snap of her fingers, could get anything she wanted at any time, no questions asked.
But of course, Hyuck understood you immediately.
“Yeah, Taeyong-hyung’s no fun. Too responsible all the time.”
“Maybe cos he has to look after brats like you,” Johnny retorted, winking at you at the same time. You smiled back, but the bad feelings remained brewing in the pit of your stomach.
“It’s not quite that, though. I know like,” you gulped, suddenly worried about what the next thing you wanted to say would sound coming out of your mouth. “jealousy can definitely be toxic, especially if people get possessive or controlling.”
“Are you trying to tell us,” Hyuck leans in, a mischievous spark lining his eyes, “that you want him to be kinky?”
“Ew! Johnny, help me out here.”
Johnny shrugged his shoulders, sipping on his iced coffee, suddenly a clueless bystander.
“I just want him to…like,” heat rushed to your face in embarrassment, by both the thought of what you were going to say next and Hyuck’s kinky echoing around your head. “really want me, you know? Like, ‘hey, this is my girlfriend, __.’ Not act so…neutral around her.”
Johnny nodded, interested again. “That makes sense, you should just tell him that. I don’t think that sounds crazy.”
“Wait, wait, wait.” You were done listening to Hyuck, you remember telling yourself as you started walking towards Taeyong, but he gripped your forearm, holding you back. You turned around, giving him a death stare that didn’t faze him at all, probably because he was used to it. Lifting a single finger up, he smirked, “You could make it far more interesting than just a boring conversation.”
After hearing Hyuck’s idea, even the ever-so nonchalant Johnny was riled up.
“Okay, now THAT’S toxic. There’s no way that would work in the right way.”
“Yeah, yeah, communication is key to a happy relationship, blah, blah.” Hyuck rolled on his heels. “But so is fire, and passion. They lack that. I’m simply helping them light the spark.”
“This is crazy, __. Tell me you’re not actually gonna do that. Taeyong’s gonna get really upset.”
You weren’t listening. Johnny and Hyuck’s voices suddenly faded out in the background and became white noise for your brain, which was focused on only one thing. Your eyes stuck onto the scene, the sides of your vision blurry, irrelevant. Your heart pounded harder at every passing second, and in that moment nothing else mattered but Hyuck’s idea, which your brain gripped onto like a lifeline.
There she was, her arms wrapped around your boyfriend’s shoulders, her face turned towards him. His face towards hers, inches away. He was smiling at something she said, and you wished you could’ve erased the picture from your memory forever.
“Truth or dare!” Hyuck rolled out the dare at the end, looking right at you. Amongst the dozens of partygoers who immediately began to form some sort of haphazard circle, he nodded at you ever so slightly, and you averted your eyes to right in front of you, where Taeyong and Giselle sat side to side. Taeyong didn’t even meet your eyes, too busy listening to her, swirling his drink around his cup.
Two could play at that game.
“Hey.” He replied at once, as if he was waiting for you to say something the entire time. He was, probably.
“Everyone and their mother knows that Jaehyun-hyung has a crush on you, __. It’s so obvious, even Taeyong-hyung can’t ignore that. You’re gonna use that to your advantage.”
His dishevelled hair rested against his forehead, deep brown eyes peeking out from underneath. “Glad to see you here.”
“You too,” you smiled as wide as possible. You sucked at flirting – Taeyong had done most of the flirting to get you – but it didn’t matter with Jae. He always had his eyes on you.
“Remember, don’t be afraid to turn the heat up.”
You plucked at an imaginary ball of lint on Jaehyun’s blue sweater, pitching your voice slightly higher. He jerked away a little, looking surprised, and confused. Good.
“Oop, sorry, I just couldn’t help myself.” You blinked up at him, trying to mirror the distance between Taeyong and Giselle. “Lint balls annoy the crap out of me. Do you wanna be on the same team?”
You threw your head back, laughing just a bit too obviously. “Truth or dare, silly!” Your hand rested on his upper arm, and he chuckled nervously, obviously still a bit surprised at your demeanour. You had never acted like this in your entire life.
“Alright, Jaehyun-hyung!” Hyuck pointed at him, and together with the grandeur of his voice and the magnetic pull of everyone’s eyes, it felt like he was shining some sort of imaginary flashlight onto Jaehyun’s stunned frame. “Truth or dare?”
“Um…” he glanced at you quickly, but you caught it before he could look away. Leaning into his ear, you breathed, “Truth.”
“Excellent. So,” Hyuck made a great show of looking onto his phone, on the supposed app with all the questions and dares on them. You knew the real plan.
“Who in here do you think is the best kisser?”
Some of the girls hollered at the question, and the boys, unbeknownst to what was really going on, cheered in response. In the midst of the mayhem, you looked at Taeyong for just a second, but he didn’t seem bothered at all.
Poor Jaehyun. You could practically feel the nervousness radiating off his frame as he fumbled.
“You gotta answer honestly, hyung. Otherwise, you lose the point.”
“Right, okay, um, well, I wouldn’t know. Can’t I pass it?” Of course Jaehyun wouldn’t answer that.
“What’s the point of starting with him if he’s not gonna mention me?”
“The most important, yet commonly overlooked part of a great story is the description of the setting. The reader doesn’t think twice about it, but it sets the mood for the rest of the story. If you want to tick someone off, you gotta set the mood first.”
“Yeah, okay. We all know you were thinking of __, though.”
Oh damn. He really went there.
At the sound of your name, Taeyong finally perked up, his head turning towards Hyuck. He looked like he wanted to say something, but Hyuck was already moving on.
“__. Your turn. Truth or dare?”
Taeyong’s eyes were boring holes into your skull now, going deeper and deeper the more you avoided his persistent gaze. Confidence and the thrill that came with doing something dangerous flooded your systems, and you spoke. “Dare.”
The ride home was painfully silent, but you felt like that spoke volumes. Taeyong was never quiet. He always had something to say, bringing out the little extroversion you did have. Instead, his gaze remained steady on the road, hands gripping the steering wheel, and you kind of wished Johnny had driven you both home like he was Hyuck and Mark.
Anything to cut the tension in the car, which was getting more suffocating by the minute.
When he finally pulled the gear into parking, you wasted no time getting out, dropping your purse in the process, which slipped out of your lap. Bending over, you quickly realised that Taeyong had noticed, but his expression read something like it took everything in him not to comment.
The silence between you two only broke once he closed the door of his apartment. “Yong, I-“
Before you could even take a breath in, his lips closed in on yours. Your body froze in shock at first, but the feeling of his arms wrapping around your hips was irresistible, and you soon melted in his arms, your eyelids drooping in response. Your mind empty, body ablaze, you two stumbled to his bedroom. No words, only sounds.
Afterwards, you lay in his bed alone while the shower ran in the background. Your body felt cold and empty, but your mind filled once again with thoughts of the night. What you had done. The look on everyone’s face. The look on Taeyong’s face. In all honestly, all that thrill and exhilaration disappeared into thin air mere seconds after it had happened. All that was left was a simmering pot of guilt, the heat of shame evaporating you from the inside out.
So deep in your thoughts, the sound of the sliding door opening almost made you jump out of your skin.
You opened your mouth to say something, and then closed it again. You couldn’t bear to look at him, even though you two had been so close only moments ago.
“For what, __? Kissing my bandmate in front of everyone?”
You had never heard Taeyong speak like that before, and his voice felt like poison in the lining of your stomach.
You choked in a breath. “I don’t know what came over me, I swear. It was a stupid dare. Of course, it wasn’t supposed to mean anything. It was Hyuck’s idea.” You felt stupid saying that last thing, because it didn’t excuse the actions of a grown woman with her own bodily autonomy, but you couldn’t quite help yourself.
Taeyong looked appalled, his eyes wider. “I don’t quite follow?”
Okay, fix this.
“Okay, okay,” you sat up on your bed, looking directly at Taeyong. His hopeful eyes stared back at yours, and you noticed a droplet of water dripping down his right eyebrow onto the lid below. “I need to tell you something.”
You wrung your hands, a nervous habit you had. “I…was jealous.”
He only furrowed his brows, and you sighed.
“Of Giselle. And Hyuck said that I needed you make you jealous back.”
Taeyong looked as stunned as your cat when you caught it roaming around your kitchen in the middle of the night. But as soon as the expression flashed across his face, his features softened, and he smiled gently. You braced yourself for another blow anyway.
“You took relationship advice from Haechan?”
“I don’t know what came over me, Yong. But,” and for once you didn’t want to hold back anymore, “my feelings were valid. She was all over you, and I didn’t feel like your girlfriend anymore.”
He looked at the ceiling, slowly dragging the towel down his shoulder and walking towards you. He sat next to you, and your legs felt the bed dip under his weight.
“You’re right. Your feelings were – are,” he emphasised, “valid. You should’ve told me sooner.”
“I just, didn’t want to have to tell you, you know? I wanted you to be like ‘hey, this is my girlfriend, Giselle’. Not just let her be.”
“__, you are my girlfriend. Not Giselle, never her. And you're right, I shouldn't just let her be, and I'm sorry I hurt you because I didn't."
He continued. “And I don't know, maybe it’s because I have a lot of eyes on me which is why I don’t naturally announce you that much. But I so want to. I don't have doubts. I’m so happy I’m with you, and you’re not anything less than special to me. I’m just constantly worried people are gonna find out and spread it to the public, which we already talked about is something we don’t want right now.”
You nodded, remembering your first conversations with him at the beginning of the relationship, and the way you yourself had emphasised that. “That makes sense. I didn’t think of it like that. But I’m glad you understand me anyway.” Somehow, even though you had thought this conversation would be like the greatest mountain you would climb, coming out on top, it didn’t feel like it was that bad.
You look through the wet tendrils of hair that adorned his forehead, the way the overhead light was reflecting off his perfect nose, those soft lips you wanted to kiss again so bad. “Thanks, love.”
“Yeah, of course.” He leant in to peck you on your lips, and you felt okay again.
“And also, I’m gonna keep an eye on Jaehyun from now on.”
You laughed. “Honey, you are terrible at being intimidating. And who’s jealous now?”
“I’m not,” he pouted, dragging out the syllables. “Honestly, this is all Haechan’s fault.
“So true.” You agreed, leaning into his shoulder before closing your eyes.
“Boys, time to pay up!”
The slam of the door shook the floor, signalling the young men to venture out of their rooms looking dreary and confused. “Geez, it’s so late.” Jisung yawned.
“Whatever, you all owe me.”
“I just can’t believe,” Mark scratched the back of his head, dropping his phone and keys on the benchtop, “that she would do that.”
“Well, jealousy makes people do crazy things. Even someone as level-headed as __.”
Chenle grabbed Haechan’s hand, stabbing the notes into his palm. “I’m going back to bed.”
Haechan winked. “Thanks for the tip, Chenle.”
Jeno scoffed, legs dangling off the handle of the couch. “This kid is unbelievable. Jaemin, can you spare me…”
Jaemin didn’t even look up from his phone, but his body moved up out of his seat of its own accord. He strode over to Haechan, the wires of his earphones dangling side to side with his steps. “Here, from me and Jeno.” Haechan went to grab a wire, but he jerked his head away just in time.
“Hyung, how much was it?” Jisung looked puzzled, sleep still stroking his face as he rummaged through his wallet. Haechan sighed. “It’s fine, you can buy me food sometime.”
“Out. But he voted yes, so he’s fine.”
“Damn, okay. I feel stupid now.” Mark rubbed his eyes as he flopped down in the middle of the couch, and, almost as if on cue, Jeno got up and left. He realised he was the last of them to do so.
The room suddenly felt quiet, not only because of the silence, but in the sudden lack of energy too. Haechan sat in the seat in front of Mark, leant over, sliding the notes through his fingers. It was dark, the light barely making out his shadowy figure, but Mark could sense that something was off about him. Somewhere underneath the pride, the unwavering confidence, the casual demeanour, he sensed something raw and honest hidden inside. He had an idea of what it was, but he had to think twice before asking.
“She has no idea?”
Haechan laughed so bitterly that Mark kind of wished he wouldn’t answer any more than that.
“Yeah,” he muttered, staring at the notes in his hand now. Mark shuffled awkwardly in his seat, looking away. “I mean, for someone so smart, she is really stupid sometimes. Can't tell who really has a crush on her.”
He chuckled, and for once it felt forced out of his throat. “It’s fine. I’d like to keep it that way anyway.” He flicked his hand, as if trying to will the hurt away from his body. “Besides, who else will keep their relationship in check if not me? Johnny? Most certainly not that giant man.”
“You really are unbelievable.” Mark let out a low whisper, shaking his head side to side.
Haechan only smiled wistfully in response, pocketing the money. “I know, Milk.”
Yuta x Reader
Requested Prompt 74 "get closer"
Warning: 18+, mature content, minor dni, reader discretion is advised, explicit language.
Genre: Smut [some public finger fucking, masturbation, teasing, orgasm denial? finger sucking, gagging, chocking, safe sex, some sexting I guess… it just a lot of sex stuff guys] Idol AU, no seriously there is no plot, it's just sex.
requests open for 1k event, click here for new prompts ----> taking requests until the 26th
A/N: i hope you guys like this, it took me a few days to write it tbh and i didnt have time to read it over so im not too sure about how it is, but hopefully it isnt trash. there are probably grammatical errors so i hope you guys can ignore them and still enjoy reading it. please let me know what you think, or by filling out the feedback form i have.
You glanced at Yuta as he sat across from your on the counter the undecorated cookies spread across in between you. Yuta was so concentrated on his that you could get by with all the staring you wanted.
You thanked your friend for wanting to decorate sugar cookies randomly for this hangout.
You hadn't been able to keep your eyes off of Yuta from the moment that he strolled in behind Johnny, Taeyong and Doyoung. He was in a pair of black sweats that sat low on his hips and a white t-shirt, his hair was messy and falling into his eyes and damn for a second you really couldn't breathe.
"What movie are we watching?" Johnny asked him and a few of your friends were sitting at the dining table decorating their own cookies.
"It's Y/N's turn to pick today," Yuta said looking up at you. You snapped out of your daze the moment his eyes met yours. Turning your head to look at the table full of people you nodded.
"Yeah let's watch grown-ups!" You exclaimed happily. Your best friend groaned from her seat next to Johnny.
"Dude no, we've seen that movie a million times."
You pouted at her, Yuta laughed from across the counter at your expression pulling your attention back to him.
"How about Venom?" He asked you, you nodded your yes. You'd seen that movie before as well but if Yuta wanted to watch it again it was okay with you.
You couldn't really pinpoint when your crush on him had begun, you'd been friends for such a long time at this point that it was all muddled together.
You silently fell back into decorating your cookie, still stealing glances at Yuta the entire time.
"Oh my god, I'm done with these fucking cookies." Your best friend groaned before getting up, "let's start the movie."
You frowned slightly at your cookie, the icing was a mess and honestly, your decorating skill were better usually than what you'd done.
"Are you coming?" Yuta asked his body was angled towards the exit of the kitchen everyone else had already filtered out to the living room.
You nodded and followed behind him towards the couch, you sat down next to Yuta on the love seat. Your friends were pulling up the movie as you adjusted to make yourself comfortable on the couch.
"Can I sit here I don't want to sit on the ground," Doyoung said indicating the spot beside you.
Yuta pulled you inside his side forcing you to scoot over and give Doyoung room, his arm staying around you tucking you into him. You didn't complain and let yourself relax into his side as the movie started.
"Get closer" Yuta murmured in your ear his hands tugging at your hip to get you half onto his lap, his hand guiding your leg so what it was tangled over his.
"You know babe, you're not very good at being subtle with your staring." He breathed in your ear, his breath causing a shiver to run down your spine.
Your face heated at his comment, a part of you wanted to jump out of his lap and go hide in the bathroom, but with the way Yuta was currently drawing circles on your thigh with his finger, you were glued in your spot.
You glanced at Doyoung, his head was angled comfortably onto the couch and he was engrossed in the movie.
"Maybe I wasn't trying to be subtle." You replied letting your head tilt back so that your face hovered dangerously close to his.
Yuta narrowed his eyes at you, he grabbed for the blanket that was settled behind his head and covered you both with it. His hand returned to its stop on your thigh instantly.
"You want me, babe?" He asked his head dipping close to yours again. Your breath hitched at his question, your thoughts short-circuiting as you took in his darkened expression.
His hand moved further up your thigh until he was hovering over your clothed core.
"Yes." You mumbled back, the word barely a whisper.
"You're gonna have to wait for the movie to end then." You narrowed your eyes at him but he was probably right. Slowly you turned your head away from his.
Letting your head rest on his shoulder as you watched the movie you realized that this movie was going to be way too long for you. Yuta's hands were still over you. One of his hands was at your hip, his slender fingers drawing circles on your skin that was peaking out due to your shit riding up. His other hand was still close to your heat, your mind drifting to everything dirty you wanted him to do to you.
You squirmed slightly in your spot, Yuta moved his head closer to yours again, his lips brushing your ear.
"Uncomfortable?" He asked, his hand moving towards your waistband. You shook your head but adjusted the blanket as his fingers slipped past the waistband of your sweats.
His fingers didn't immediately do what you wanted to them, instead, he tried his fingers through your folds ignoring your clit or even pushing them in, he would only dip in enough to gather your wetness on the tip of his finger before continuing to move in a slow circle around your clit but never touching it.
You bit your tongue to keep yourself from groaning at the torture that Yuta was subjecting you to. Your head lulled into the crook of his neck.
"Keep watching the movie." He mumbled to you, you turned your eyes back to the screen holding yourself back from bucking up into his hand to get him to touch your clit.
You focused on keeping your breathing even as he continued to tease you, but it was hard to keep your hips still. You gave in for a second, getting desperate for him to touch you where you needed him.
"Are you uncomfortable?" Doyoung asked, his head turning towards yours. You looked at him and shook your head.
"No no, I'm just a-adjusting." You tried to reply steadily, halfway through your words Yuta decided that your clit was lonely, his fingers began to draw slow figure eights over your neglected nub. You wanted to grind into his hand, you wanted to let out a moan that was bubbling up in your throat. But Yuta's fingers dug into your hip keeping you in place, and Doyoung's eyes on you kept you from making any stupid sound or facial expression.
"Okay," Doyoung replied and turned back to the movie.
You let your head fall back over Yuta's shoulder your eyes closing as you let your mouth hang open from the pleasure you were feeling.
"Close your mouth babe," Yuta said, right before letting his tongue run along the shell of your ear.
Taeyong suddenly sprung up, his abrupt action caused you to push Yuta's hand away from you. Yuta turned to you with his eyebrow raised and his lips turned up in amusement.
"Going to the bathroom," Taeyong announced and bounced off.
"Should we pick up after the movie? Would that be better for you?"
Reluctantly you agreed with Yuta's questions because even though you wanted him now, fucking him in front of your friends wasn't going to go over well with them.
So you suffered through your movie, wondering why you guys picked such a long one.
When the movie ended it was around midnight. You stayed seated as everyone got up, your brain was in overdrive thinking of what would happen next. Would you guys go back to your apartment that would be the most practical right? Seeing as you couldn't go to the dorms.
Yuta moved first his hands moving off you and slowly pushing the blanket away from him. You had to move for him to get up, so you quickly got up turning to face him as you did so.
"So you want to come to my apartment?" You asked lowly, Yuta's eyes flashed with lust at your question.
"Yo Yuta let's go!" Johnny called from the other side of the living room, his car keys jangling as he spoke. You looked back at Yuta as he looked at Johnny.
"We've got a lot of schedules tomorrow," Doyoung added.
"See you guys soon." Your friend said putting her hosting abilities to use and shoving bags of cookies at them. Yuta shoved his hands in his pockets and stalked towards the boys, an apologetic look flashing across his face as he left you in your spot.
You got a bag of cookies when you left as well, but you couldn't say that they were what you wanted to be eating today.
Back at your apartment, you sighed loudly as you fell back into your bed. Your body heated still from your encounter with Yuta, you could still see him when you closed your eyes, his fingers still stinging at the skin of your waist.
You groaned loudly. You grabbed your phone from beside you on the bed you'd have to distract yourself maybe YouTube would do the trick.
Instead, you were taken by the text you had from Yuta, he'd send a picture of himself in sweats, his cock hard against the cloth of his sweats.
You were the type to make fun of guys when they sexted, typically sitting there and just entertaining the boy, but you couldn't lie to yourself this time. You were already turned on and this was adding to it.
'You've got me fucked up.' He texted a second later, you quickly exited the photo and replied.
'Cause I'm just fine right?' You could feel your body heating again. Your blood was rushing as you waited for him to reply.
'If I was there rn you wouldn't be able to walk tomorrow.' You rubbed your thighs together, your hand drifting down your body towards your waistband.
You could feel the moisture gathering in your panties, Yuta's words weren't doing anything to curb your desire.
'Make sure you aren't busy tomorrow night.' Yuta texted quickly followed by a goodnight text that was accompanied by a winking emoji.
You groaned again as you let your hand sink past the plastic of your sweats and underwear. You dropped the phone on the bad and let your mind drift to Yuta as you got yourself off.
Some texts were exchanged over the course of the day, all of them teasing all of them working you up. Not to say you weren't working him up in return, you'd sent him a photo of you in black lingerie before you went to work in the morning letting him know you'd be wearing it all day.
He came at exactly eight like he said he would, you were fixing your hair in the mirror, like it would stay like that, when he texted you to let him up.
Your blood rushed as you waited, pacing your living room for him to come up to your floor. It didn't take him long, but to you, it felt like ages until he was knocking on your door.
You pulled it open for him, your teeth nipping at the corner of your mouth as you did.
Yuta froze once his eyes landed on you, his eyes drifted down your body taking in the loose t-shirt you were wearing and your bare legs. You knew he already knew what was underneath it, and seeing his reaction in person turned you on more than you could have imagined.
He walked towards you slowly, shutting the door behind him his eyes never leaving you. You stepped backwards into the living, no words spoken yet. You were content on looking at him forever, it wasn't new for you.
"Fuck," Yuta let out under his breath before he grabbed you, his hands tugging at you until he had you tightly pinned against him.
His hand gripped the hair at the back of your head as he looked down at you, his breath fanning your face.
"What the fuck are you doing to me?" He whispered before he pressed his lips to yours.
He kissed you like he'd been dying to kiss you all day, and you couldn't complain you had been dying to kiss him all day.
You let his lips control yours, your mouth moving against his the way he wanted his tongue moving into your mouth pushing against your tongue and tasting you. He pulled a moan from you as he pushed you towards the kitchen island.
"Jump." He commanded as he let his hands roughly gran at your hips. You obliged and he lifted you onto the counter the back of your thighs meeting the cold counter caused shivers to run your body.
Yuta leaned into you forcing you to move your weight onto the palms of your hands as he continued to kiss you. His hands roamed your body, pushing your shirt up so that his thumbs could trace along the underwire of your bra, he let out a low moan that you muffled as you kissed him back.
He pulled back so that he could look at you, and give you both a chance to breathe, you watched as Yuta took in your black lace bra and matching underwear. His tongue pushed against the side of his cheek as he narrowed his eyes at your body, he looked like he was ready to eat you.
The hand holding your shirt moved to your mouth, nudging the cloth into your mouth he pressed a soft kiss to your nose.
"Your so wet for me." He muttered as his hand traced the outside of your panties feeling the wet spot, you groaned into the t-shirt stuffed in your mouth.
"Show me what you did to yourself last night." He muttered, you looked up at his your eyes widening for a second before you shifted your weight onto one hand, slowly bringing your left hand to his.
Yuta kept his eyes glued to your face, slowly you moved your hand under his pushing your underwear aside to run your finger through your wetness. Your eyes fluttered shut as you moved your finger along your slit, teasing yourself like you typically did. You let your head fall back as you moved a finger into your heat, gathering more of your slick onto it before bringing it out to swirl it around your clit.
You breathed softly into your shirt, your ears sensitive to all the sounds Yuta was making his shallow breath, his slight gulps as he watched you. You could imagine the look he had on his face right now.
But you didn't have to imagine though, slowly opening your eye you look up at him, his eyes were turned down as he watched the movement of your hand.
Your breathing became shallower as more and more moans leaked out of you, you could feel your sex clenching as the knot in your stomach tightened, you added your middle finger as you picked up the pace of your movements, rubbing harsh circles on your clit.
Your hips stuttered into your own hand, Yuta moaned at the act causing heat to flood your chest.
"Are you close baby?" You asked, his voice low. You nodded your head, your hand moving faster as you chased your orgasm.
Yuta grabbed your hand pulling it away from you. You whined at the lost contact your hips bucking up trying to regain the touch that you lost.
Yuta brought your fingers to his mouth, sucking on them as he hummed. His tongue wrapped around each digit to clean them off.
"I like how you taste."
You moaned loudly at his words, he brought his hand back down to your core, dragging his middle finger through your folds he gathered you onto his finger.
"Want to taste?"
He didn't let you reply, simply pulled your shirt out of your mouth before pushing his finger into your mouth. You sucked on his finger, tasting yourself, sucking on it Yuta pushed his index finger into your mouth as well. You worked them like you would his cock, moving your mouth around his fingers.
Yuta moved his free hand to your clit, continue to smear your wetness around as he rubbed rough circles against your nub. Your hips moved against his hand as you moaned around his fingers.
Your eyes watered as Yuta shoved his fingers deeper into your mouth as you tried to swallow the spit that was starting to gather in your mouth. Some of it slipped out past your lips and down the side of your face.
"How dirty." Yuta tsked, however, he still didn't remove his fingers from your mouth. He instead pumped them into your mouth further, you gagged as he did so. Your eyes watering more than before. Yuta moved his fingers back onto your tongue giving you a chance to breathe.
His fingers on your clit slowed as he leaned down towards you, his lips pressed into your cheek.
"You look so hot right now." He muttered into your heated skin. He pushed his fingers back into your mouth, you swallowed around them again trying your best not to gag, but failing. Once again he pulled his fingers back but not entirely out your mouth.
With his other hand, he moved his fingers down your slit, slowly pushing two fingers into your heat. You let out a loud moan at the stretch, your walls clenching around his fingers. The knot in your stomach was dangerously tight.
Yuta trailed open-mouthed kisses along your jaw as he slowly began to pump his fingers into your core. He pulled his fingers out of your mouth leaning onto the counter with that hand.
Your lips found his as your body heated, the blood in your veins rushing as your head became fuzzy; your orgasm coming up quickly.
"I'm close." You muttered against Yuta's mouth, he moaned into your mouth before nipping at your bottom lip and then pulling away from you entirely. His fingers slipped out of you and his lips left yours.
He took a step back from you, his shoulders moving from the way he was deeply breathing. He wiped the corner of his mouth with his thumb. Your shirt fell down your body, covering you up on its own.
"Show me your room."
You were flustered from your lack of orgasm again, your legs felt unsteady as you got off the counter and nodded for him, wiping at your own face.
You motioned for him to follow you as you lead the way to your room, he walked closely behind you. You could feel the head of his body the brush of his chest against your shoulder.
"So this is your room huh?" He asked pushing past you, he looked around. You'd had your friends over before but only your closer girlfriends had been in your room.
Yuta trailed over to the wall that you had covered in photos of you with your friends and family, he slowly moved his eyes across the collage commenting on a few photos he was in.
Your fingers tensed at your side as you watched him act like you were in the middle of something like his fingers weren't just in your throat.
"Yuta, what are you doing?" You asked walking over to him slowly.
"Looking at your photos." He replied, throwing you an amused look. You groaned quietly.
"Well can you stop?" You asked your arm looping around his waist as you moved in front of him.
"You want me to be doing something else?" He asked.
"You know what I want." You answered.
"Do I?" He asked, "You may have to specify." He brought his hand up to your face, pushing some of your hair behind your ear before his thumb caressed the soft skin under your ear.
You bit your lip, "I want you."
"Want me to what?"
"To fuck me."
You kept your eyes locked with his, his lip tilting up in a smirk as you finished saying the words to him.
He tilted your face up to him, very gently it was the opposite of how he treated you in the kitchen, his lips meeting your bruised ones moving against them softly and slowly. To you felt like the calm before the storm.
He pushed you back, your back pressing into the photos that you'd taped on the wall. His hands moved to your ass as he deepened the kiss.
"Bed." You muttered against his mouth pushing at his chest. He listened, his hands gripping your ass roughly as he spun you around his lips digging into your as he did the kiss turning rough.
You gasped when he pulled away from you, his hands quickly taking your shirt off before he pushed you into the bed.
You laid on your back, breathing heavily looking up at him as he got rid of his own shirt. Your mouth watered at his abs, forcing you to shoot up as he climbed onto the bed. You met him halfway, your hands itching to touch his body, to drag your tongue over the hard plains of his body.
But it seemed that Yuta came with a plan, because the moment you reached out to touch him he grabbed your hands, pushing them away from him. He leaned into you until you were flat on your back again, his body hovering over you with your hands pinned above your head.
"Maybe next time you can take your time with me, but not today."
You groaned at his words, your thighs rubbing together as you imagined having Yuta under you, as you sucked bruises into his skin.
Yuta laughed lightly at your display, his teeth caught the skin of your collar bone biting lightly before sucking on the reddening skin. He let go of your hands as he kissed and sucked on your skin down to the soft flesh of your breasts.
"I really like this, but I have to take it off of you now." He muttered, his tone almost sad as he spoke about your bra.
"It opens in the front." You muttered to him, he nodded as he licked his lips and grabbed for the clasp. He didn't let you process that your bra was off before his lips were sucking on your nipple. He was rough with it, his hand pulling at the other one.
He bit at your nipple pulling moan after moan out of you as he continued his assault, your back arched up, you pushed yourself at him. Yuta moaned as you did so, the sound sending a shiver down your spine. He moved to the other side, repeating his actions until you were begging for him for more.
Yuta kissed down the centre of your stomach, his fingers looping into the elastic of your underwear, he slowly pulled it off as he pressed wet kisses right up until your navel.
Sitting upon his heels to get your panties completely off, you stared up at him already out of breath, your eyes half-open as you looked up at him.
He chuckled the black lace somewhere in the room once he had it off, his body coming back down over yours. His lips latching onto yours again, he kissed you roughly. His lips bruising against yours, his hand trailed down your stomach to your clit, his touch leaving fire in its trail.
Your hips bucked up into his hand as he faintly brushed over your swollen nub.
"You want me bad?" He asked into your mouth.
"We've already established that." You replied, your eyes closing as his fingers pressed down into you.
You moaned as he created a steady rhythm with his hand. You could hear the sound of his fingers pumping in and out of you as his thumb moved against your clit you body burned, your nerve endings stinging as you got closer to your orgasm again. Yuta's name fluttered on your tongue as you let him know that you were close.
He pulled his hand away from you and sat up once again.
"What the fuck." You groaned, he smirked down at you as he stood up to shuffle off his pants and boxers.
"Be patient baby." He spoke lowly, his voice heavy with lust.
"I have been."
You took in his cock as it stood up hard and angry, seeing it for the first time your mouth watered at the sight. He was a good size, thick and veiny.
A part of you wanted him in your mouth, but a bigger part of you needed him somewhere else. You met him halfway as he leaned onto the bed, your arms looped around his shoulders your fingers tangling into his hair so that you could tug at the strands as he licked into your mouth.
"Wait, wait." He grumbled.
"We need a condom." You shook your head at him.
"I'm on the pill and I'm clean."
"I'm also clean."
"Then you're good."
With that you pushed your mouth up against his again, your tongue fighting against his. You widened your legs as you pushed your hips up towards him again.
"Please." You whined.
Yuta didn't tease you this time, he palmed his cock before grabbing it and guiding it towards your centre.
He slowly pushed into you, your head knocking back into your pillow as he did. He sighed as he bottomed out.
"Ready?" He asked, his hand cradling the side of your head forcing you to turn your head back to him. You simply nodded for him.
His teeth grazed the skin of your jaw as he began to thrust into you, his pace picking up as he went. Your brain quickly turned into mush as you breathed heavily into his ear. You could hear him moaning into the crook of your neck.
You nipped brushed against his chest causing your body to heat faster, your overdue orgasm was approaching fast. Your fingers dug into the skin at his back, your toes curling as he hit the perfect spot inside you.
Yuta's hand circled your throat applying pressure, and it was just what you needed as you came. Your head lulled to the side as your body arched up into him. Yuta kept on moving abasing you through your orgasm, but you were too gone to really notice. Your fingers gripped the sheets pulling at them roughly as your sex clenched around his cock.
Yuta pulled out of you as you came down from your high.
"Did you finish?" You asked, your eyes glazed over as you looked at him.
"Not yet." He replied and flopped onto his back beside you.
"Get on top, reverse cowgirl style." He demanded.
You breathed heavily taking a second to oblige his command. Slowly you got and moved so that you were straddling him.
You grabbed Yuta's cock, your hand shaking as you did, and you lined it up with yourself. Slowly sinking down on him. His hands were at your hips guiding you down.
You were sensitive from your recent orgasm, the stretch from his cock causing you to whine.
Yuta pulled you back down onto him, your back flush with his chest as he began to rock up into you. His hand returned to your throat choking you as he fucked up roughly. You whimpered your head against his. His other hand held both your wrists tightly against your stomach. Pressing you into him tighter.
You moaned loudly as his cock dragged against your walls. Incoherent words spilled out of you as he cursed in your ear.
"I'm close." He growled. You moaned again, your walls clenching around him because of his words.
"Fuck." He groaned as he came you could feel his cum in you as his hips stuttered against you. He continued to move into you until his orgasm subsided. His hands let go of your throat and your wrists choosing to wrap around you instead. His lips pressed soft kisses into the side of your head.
His cock still deep inside you.
You turned your head towards him, catching his lips against your in a slow kiss. There was no way you could let go of Yuta after that.
"Fuck Y/N," Yuta groaned, "there is no way we don't do that again."
because i love this gif of yuta i had to include it.....
Back To You ┊TEASER
· · · · ﹏̈́﹏̈́﹏̈́﹏̈́﹏̈́﹏̈́﹏̈́﹏̈́﹏̈́﹏̈́﹏̈́﹏̈́﹏̈́ ༅˻˳˯ₑ❛░⃟ ⃟°˟̫
. .╭──࿎࿎─ ︿︿︿︿︿︿ . . . . . .
. .┊ ‹‹❛❀ Title: Back To You
. .┊✎｡｡｡Author: Tori
. .┊ ‹‹❛❀ Started: September 2021
. .┊✎｡｡｡ Release Date: Hopefully March 2022
. .╰─── ⃟ੂ۪͙۫ׄꦿ๑࿐ ︶︶︶︶︶︶ ♡⃕ ⌇. . .
. . . . . . ┊⿻ Genre: angst, fluff, smut, marriage!au, parents!au
. . . . . . ┊⿻ Characters: Kun x Reader
. . . . . . ┊⿻ Summary: The two of you had been so in love when you'd gotten married. It had been a beautiful relationship, but as with every marriage, complications arose, and you're not sure your relationship can handle the strain those complications are having on your marriage. Now, with your husband living in his own apartment, your son, YangYang, caught in the middle of two feuding parents, and health issues threatening your life, you and Kun must rekindle the love you once had to save your marriage or ink those divorce papers to end it.
. . . . . . ┊⿻ Word Count: roughly 30k
. . . . . . ┊⿻ Warnings: verbal fighting, name calling, Kun isn't the best person in the world esp. in the beginning, crying, yelling, mentions of breast cancer, mentions of major character death, smut
. . . . . . ┊⿻ Author's note: I started this fic a few months after the song "Back To You" was released. It's taken me so long to work on this fic because it's probably the longest one I've ever written to date. I'm hoping to get it finished soon though, I've worked very hard on it so far and I'm super excited to get it published! I also really really wanna thank @neochan for talking through this with me because without them, this fic probably would be just another one hanging out on my Google Drive in the fic graveyard. So thank you so so much @neochan!
. . . . . . ┊⿻ Tag List: @treasuretaeil @hachanbaecon @jisungsblackhairissuperior @ncitylover
if you would like to be added for this particular fic, please leave an ask or a comment!
. . . . . . ╰──༄ ‧₊˚───── ─── ❨❀❩
[IC]❝ Your heart ached, heaving heavily. You loved Kun with your whole heart, but perhaps he didn’t love you anymore, and you couldn’t blame him for that, especially while he worked with some skinny bitch who hung on his every word. ❞↷ˊ-
◇❃๑࿐ ︶︶︶︶︶︶ ლ ⌇. . .
. . . ❀- ̗̀ะ;༣ཾ྄∘ . . .
. . . . . . ┊⿻ Samples:
For the sample, I couldn't decided which section to pick from, so I am including a series of samples to give a rough idea!
You leaned against the counter heavily, placing your soda down on the surface, putting your face in your hands as silent sobs wracked through your body, shoulders shaking violently. Out of all the issues you and Kun had had over the years, you never expected him to stoop so low, then again, people change.
Your heart ached, heaving heavily. You loved Kun with your whole heart, but perhaps he didn’t love you anymore, and you couldn’t blame him for that, especially while he worked with some skinny bitch who hung on his every word.
The voice made you stiffen before quickly wiping your tears away and looking down at the small boy.
“Why are you crying? Why was daddy yelling?”
You knelt down to his level, pulling the small boy into your arms, rubbing his back softly.
“Sometimes when mommy and daddy have a fight, it gets a little loud and sometimes they hurt each other's feelings,” you spoke.
He nodded and hugged you tightly.
“I don’t like it when daddy hurts your feelings,” he said, squeezing his arms around your neck.
You smiled into his embrace, hugging him just as tight. YangYang was so much like Kun, or like how Kun used to be, and it never failed to make you smile.
“It’s alright sweetheart, daddy’s just stressed with work. He didn’t mean to hurt my feelings,” you assured.
Deep down, you knew this was true. Kun was stressed with work, especially as he was in for another promotion and his boss had been dumping more on his plate, but there was only so much that you could blame on stress. Afterall, stress wasn’t the reason he seemed to have fallen out of love with you.
“What do you know about daddy yelling at mommy?” he asked YangYang gently, stopping at a redlight and choosing that moment to glance back at the picture.
The picture had two stick figures highlighted in black crayon, one had long hair, the other had no hair. Blue flecks of crayon dropped around the long-haired stick figure and the bald figure had oddly shaped eyebrows that looked furrowed and angry.
“I know when daddy yells, mommy cries.”
Kun felt his heart drop in his stomach. He’d seen you cry before when he yelled, suspected you cried when he left, but he always pictured you crying alone, squeezing your arms around your middle to hold yourself together. That thought alone always made him feel like pure trash.
“What do you do when mommy cries?”
YangYang made a noise that had Kun looking back at the boy. He was staring at his father’s seat like the man should know exactly what he does.
“I give her hugs and cuddle with her at night after pretending that I had a bad dream!”
Somehow, the thought of his baby comforting his wife instead of him comforting his wife and baby felt like he just got a baseball bat to the gut, and that feeling made him angry.
“I’m sorry mommy cries in front of you baby. I’ll have a talk with her.”
He didn’t know why he was so angry at you. It wasn’t your fault he was a dick of a human being, but blaming you for their son's declining mental health was a hell of a lot easier than blaming himself.
“No daddy! Don’t yell at mommy! I’ll be better! I promise!” the boy shrieked.
And those few words managed to snap something inside Kun’s chest, hitting him like a ton of bricks. He was the bad guy in his son’s eyes. The person that made his mother cry. And that made Kun even more angry at you for painting him that way and turning his son against him, though he knew it was no one's fault but his own.
Dropping his towel on the floor, he moved closer and enveloped his arms around you. You stiffened in his hold before fighting him, but he held you tightly, bringing your head to his chest as he ran a hand up and down your back. The tears started about the time you relaxed in his hold, and he didn’t push you away. He brought a hand up to bury in your hair, running his fingers through your locks gently.
“It’s going to be ok,” he whispered. “Whatever it is, we’ll get through this.”
Your tears wet his shirt more than it already was, but he didn’t say anything.
“We?” you asked, and he wanted to kick himself for letting you ever think he didn’t still want to be with you.
“I am still your husband, you know. We’re still a team.”
Sleep Well, Princess
Title: Sleep Well, Princess
Pairing: Jaehyun x You (feat. brother!Taeyong)
Genre: age gap, big brother's best friend au, angst, drama, fluff, romance, slow burn, smut
Warnings: six year age gap, unprotected and kind of public sex (no worries, nothing rated will involve minors!)
Word Count: 12.5k
Summary: When you were six, you developed a crush on your older brother's best friend. When you were thirteen, you fell head over heels in love with him. When you were sixteen, you decided to wait for when the time was right. When you were nineteen, he rejected you.
The first memory you had of Jeong Jaehyun was that of a warm summer evening when you encountered an unfamiliar boy sitting at your terrace.
You had hurried back home from your friend’s house, eager to make it for dinner on time, but when you had arrived, your entire family was gathered in the garden, eating watermelon with a boy you had never seen before.
“That’s Jaehyun!” your older brother Taeyong had introduced him. “He’s new in town and my classmate!”
Jaehyun had worn the brightest smile, the corners of his lips smeared with leftover watermelon that let his skin glisten with sweet juice. You hadn’t even been able to clearly hear the words he was directing at you, that was how full his mouth was.
When you had sat down next to your twelve-year-old brother on the stairs, munching on your watermelon like everyone else, you were watching this new boy Jaehyun from the corner of your eyes, your pupils wanting to stay fixated on the fruit, but still going astray eventually.
He was as tall and slim as your older brother, wearing similar clothes, having similar haircuts, and even speaking and laughing in a similar manner. If anything, they could pass as brothers.
But for your real brother, as a matter of fact, you didn’t want to look at him for so long. But for your brother, you didn’t want him to look back at you. But for your brother, your cheeks didn’t flush so much in his presence.
“My, my!” Taeyong had laughed. “I think my sister has a crush on you!”
You had smacked him so hard, your fingerprints were still visible on his arm later that night. That was one of the downsides of being so close to a sibling: they could read you like an open book. There was nothing you could hide from them.
You had wanted to disappear right there and then, convinced to currently experiencing the most embarrassing moment of your young life so far. You hadn’t even known Jaehyun for half an hour, yet you were labelled as the annoying little sister probably.
But Jaehyun had only laughed, nothing more. And just like that, the topic had been swept under the rug to never be addressed again.
Most children experienced their first crush at the age of five.
You had been six at that time.
Throughout the years, you had not only watched your brother grow, but Jaehyun as well as they became the bestest of friends.
His height had shot upwards so that he was now even towering your brother by a few inches. He had built muscles that were becoming more apparent through his clothings. His face had gotten more expressive features after maturing in his teenage years.
You had been crushing on your brother’s best friend for as long as you could think of.
And then, he broke your heart.
When You Were 7
You ran into the living room, the pink tulle rustling with each step of yours as the wand of the same color swung in your hands when you entered through the door and found your brother sitting on the couch, playing a video game on the big TV.
“Yongie! How do you find my dress?”
Your brother shifted around. “A new princess dress? Looks amazing on you, sis!”
“Right?!” You smiled brightly. “I’m a princess!”
The moment you encountered Jaehyun next to him though, you stopped in your tracks and looked at his best friend, frozen.
You hadn’t been aware that he was here, even though on the weekends, he usually always was. Yet, you suddenly felt so foolish and childish in your pink princess gown with the magic wand, imagining yourself to reign in a non-existent country.
Jaehyun was thirteen years old, of course he would only laugh at little girls who played dress up, especially as princesses.
Slowly, your hand that was holding the wand sank to your side along with your head, and all the sparks from your eyes vanished when it dawned on you that it would probably make Jaehyun think of you sillily when he saw this overly childish side of yours.
“How’s your country called, princess?”
You turned keen-eared upon hearing his words. Immediately, your head shot up and you locked gazes with him, his expression only radiating kindness with the soft smile that he was addressing at you.
He had called you princess!
“It’s called ‘Phantasia’!” you announced proudly. “I’m the reigning princess!”
“Well, princess… Where is your crown? A princess usually wears a crown, right?”
“Oh…” You touched your head as though you had placed it there the moment before. “I broke it the last time…”
“No worries. A true princess doesn’t need a crown to make her whole.”
For the rest of the day, you felt like walking on clouds. No one was able to take away what Jaehyun had said to you earlier, and you were even still grinning when your mother read a goodnight story to you later that night.
The weekend after that, Jaehyun was over at your house again.
Taeyong had told you that he was living with his grandfather as his parents were doing business abroad, and whenever possible, the old man needed rest, so Jaehyun spent most of his free time at your house. Your brother didn’t mind, and you were surely the last one to object to this arrangement.
“This is for you, princess.”
You were sitting on the terrace when Jaehyun suddenly appeared in front of you, carrying something in his hand that you weren’t able to clearly see against the sunlight. A moment later, you felt a light pressure on your head.
When your fingers reached up and touched an edgy plastic object on top of your head, you instantly knew what it was without needing to take it off and inspect.
You got so excited, you were sure you were going to burst with bliss.
It was a crown.
“A crown doesn’t make you a princess as you already are one,” Jaehyun explained. “But it’s still nice to have some validation every now and then, right?”
You refused to take off the silver plastic crown with the pink jewels for the next weeks without a single break, even adamant to wear it during bathtime and to sleep until your mother got so sick and tired of it that she took it away and threatened to never give it back to you unless you came back to your senses.
Since then, the crown sat enthroned on top of your drawer so that you had a good look at it from all corners in your room.
It was your biggest treasure.
A month later, Taeyong had his first big party, and of course, all his friends came over, including Jaehyun.
Since his gathering had started during your bedtime, your mother had forbidden you to go downstairs as you should be asleep already, but you were so excited for the event to take place that two hours later, you were still wide awake.
You were listening to the boys’ voices from the ground floor as you peeked through your door and slowly crawled to the very top of the stairs to catch a glimpse at the guests downstairs. But you saw nothing yet, so you sneaked to crouch on the first step.
When you still weren’t able to get even the slightest insight into the happenings, you decided to go down another step in your crouching position, but in the process, you lost your balance so that you suddenly slipped and fell down the rest of the stairs with loud rumbling.
“Ouch!” you let out, feeling all your muscles and bones ache when you finally came to a standstill.
“Taeyong, someone fell down the stairs!”
You were lying on the ground, many pairs of eyes directed at you from above when you opened your lids, but even among all these faces with your head still dizzy, you were able to make out Jaehyun’s features in the corner.
“Let me through, that’s my sister!”
You felt your body getting lifted up and stabilized by the strong arms of your brother.
“Sis, are you okay?” Taeyong was touching your arms, feet, head, and then your upper body. “Thank god, nothing seems to be broken! Are you alright? Is your head okay? We have to make sure that you didn’t get a concussion from the fall! Come with me.”
Your brother carried you in his arms to the couch, the music having come to a pause, and all the gathered boys’ faces were directed at you. The entire situation suddenly got so embarrassing for you, and if your mother would find out, you’d get one hell of a rebuke!
“It’s okay!” you tried to brush it off. “I’m okay!”
You wanted to jump from the couch when a familiar voice suddenly instructed, “Sit still.”
Jaehyun gave Taeyong a frozen pack of pears that your brother then pressed on the back of your head.
“Look at me.”
That was easy. You weren’t able to look at anything or anyone other than Jaehyun anyway. You got lost in his deep, brown eyes that were always so soft but now so serious. He lifted a finger in front of you.
“Follow my motions.”
You nodded and moved your eyes to the right and left, then back, and then to the right and left again as he wanted.
“How many fingers do you see?”
“Three.” Pause. “One.” Pause. “Four.”
“Does something else hurt besides your head on which you have fallen?”
You shook your head. “Only my limbs and back from the fall. But it’s subsiding.”
“She’s all right,” Taeyong then stated. “Thank god.” He put the pack of pears in your hand. “Then I can scold you now! What were you thinking, lurking on the stairs in the middle of the night in the absolute dark?!”
“I wanted to… The kitchen… water... I-” you stuttered, starting to tremble all over as you got so overwhelmed with the entire situation.
“It’s okay,” Jaehyun interrupted him. “It’s late, she just hurt herself… Just leave it be. How about we get you a glass of water and then I’ll bring you back upstairs, okay y/n?”
Like in a trance, you nodded. You couldn’t believe what he had just offered. “Okay.”
“Then continue serving your guests, Taeyong, I’ll be right back.”
You held onto Jaehyun’s warm hand when you followed him up the stairs back into your bedroom. He had never been here before, and suddenly, you wished your room was a bit more tidied up and your plushies wouldn’t be as scattered as usual.
But Jaehyun didn’t seem to mind as he placed the glass of water on your nightstand while you slipped under your blanket.
“Everything okay? Nothing hurts, right?”
You nodded. “I’m alright.”
“Then, I’m glad.”
Relief resonated in his tone, and his eyes only averted for a second, but this single second was long enough for him to notice something at the other side of the room.
“The crown,” he remarked. “It’s there.”
“Of course,” you answered triumphantly. “It’s my biggest treasure!”
“Then take care of it well.” Jaehyun smiled, walked to the door and switched off the lights. “Sleep well, princess.”
After he had closed the door, you still thought about the events for a long time, even when the voices downstairs vanished one by one. The touch of his hand embracing your fingers remained until the next morning.
You were seven and crushing on Jaehyun.
When You Were 10
You were regularly spending your summer breaks at your grandparents’ house by the seaside, and since Jaehyun couldn’t visit his parents in the US this time as they were too busy with their business, you had decided to tag him along with you.
“Yongie, look!” you called for your brother. “My side is already this big!”
Taeyong sat up and looked over the pile of sand to get a glimpse at your construction. “Beat me, sis!”
“You have to hurry up, we have to finish first before mommy calls us for dinner!”
“Alright, alright,” he gave in with a laugh.
You were sitting there in the sand with your blue swimsuit and a straw hat, wanting to build the biggest sand castle this small seaside town had ever seen. But one person, who had volunteered to help, was still missing, even though he had excused himself quite a while ago already.
“Where is Jaehyun?” you asked your brother and looked around from under your hat. “We can’t get it done without him.”
“I don’t know.” Taeyong shrugged. “You wanna look for him? I have some catching up to do here, huh?”
You arose from your spot and freed your legs and knees from the sand that had gotten stuck on your skin. It was a hot summer evening, and you would have to leave soon, but not without getting this sand castle done, you were very determined.
Walking to the toilets, you waited there for quite a bit, but Jaehyun wasn’t among the people leaving even five minutes later, so you made your way to the stalls where people were selling food, and indeed, Jaehyun stood there by a table. But he was not alone.
From afar, you spotted two girls who were with him, and it was obvious that they were head over heels for Jaehyun.
Somehow, this bugged you very much, your nails digging into the palms of your hands as you clenched them to fists. Jaehyun was only standing there, talking to them, but that was enough to get you sulking, and you didn’t even know why.
Stomping through the sand back to Taeyong, you still weren’t able to get the picture with him and the two girls out of your head.
“Hey sis, look I’m this far al-”
You jumped into the nearly finished sand castle and walked all over the construction.
“Hey! All the hard work is now gone to waste!” Taeyong complained in disbelief.
“I don’t care! I wanna go home!”
“Did something happen?” he asked you gently as you flopped down on the pile of sand and crossed your arms, pulling the straw hat deep into your face.
“Why the sudden mood change then?”
“Whatever. Can we just go home?”
“We have to wait for Jaehyun.”
“No, we can just go without him.”
Taeyong deeply sucked in a rush of air and sat down in the sand right next to you. “I know when something happened and you don’t want to tell me, sis. We’re siblings. We just feel it.”
You wanted to scream from the top of your lungs, not being able to sort these controversial feelings into anywhere as you had never experienced anything like it before.
“We don’t need to wait for Jaehyun as he already has company,” you pressed through gritted teeth.
“Mhm… I see.”
Only the sound of the sea was audible to you as you continued sitting quietly next to each other, counting the sand grains to your feet.
“Jaehyun is a good looking, sixteen year old guy. Nobody can withhold him from talking to girls or girls coming to him in the first place,” your brother then opened the conversation. “You’ve grown up with the two of us, sis. Of course you’d get attached to him too and view everyone else as a threat to your relationship with him. But him talking to other girls besides you is normal, and you gradually have to accept this.”
You continued to sulk, but as his words slowly dawned on you, you started to make sense of these feelings as well.
“Remember when I brought my female friend home one day and you were on our nerves the rest of the time she was there?”
Of course you remembered. You had been jealous that his entire attention was directed at her only, even though usually, he spent his free time with you.
You hadn’t talked to him the entire next day.
“For me, you’ll always be my little sister. Even when I get a girlfriend or will be married one day, you will come first for me.” These words made you smile amongst the chaos within you. “One day, Jaehyun will find someone he loves and wants to spend his life with as well, and this person will be the number one for him - just like you are for me.”
“And why can’t I be that person?”
Taeyong chuckled and his arms wrapped around you for a comforting embrace. “Because you are my person already.”
“And if I want to change that person?”
You laughed out loud together now.
“You wouldn’t want someone to keep us apart as well, right?”
“Of course not!”
Taeyong stopped laughing. “Then you must realize that you can’t act to Jaehyun this way.”
Turning serious again, you inhaled deeply. “I don’t want to be a nuisance to him.”
“You’re not, sis. But if you keep feeling and acting this way, you’re on the verge of being. But don’t worry, you’ll always hold a special place in Jaehyun’s life. I know.”
Somehow, this reassurance from Jaehyun’s best friend calmed you down. In the end, he was the person who knew him the best.
“Hey you two.”
You both looked up, and you had to blink a few times before you recognized Jaehyun in front of you. Speak of the devil.
“I’m sorry that it took me so long,” he apologized. “Some girls wouldn’t let me go, even though this entire time, I was afraid the ice cream would melt. But I still made it on time, I hope.” He held a popsicle right in front of you. “Here, for you.”
“For… me?” you wanted to make sure, and he nodded.
With care, you took the popsicle into your hand.
“What about me?” Taeyong asked.
“Get your own one.”
With sparkling eyes, you stared at the popsicle. The sweet liquid was already dripping on your fingers and on the sand underneath you, but you didn’t mind. Amidst everything, he had brought this to you.
“Thank you,” you said gratefully.
“Of course,” Jaehyun smiled.
When you came out of the bathroom after having showered, you passed by Taeyong’s room where he and Jaehyun were residing during your stay. You wanted to barge in to say goodnight before you went to bed, but stopped when you overheard them talking heatedly.
“What about the girls from before?” your brother asked. “You gonna meet them? They were from Seoul too, right?”
“Of course not. You know I’m not going to date anyone.”
“That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be allowed to enjoy your youth.”
You heard Jaehyun laugh. “Yeah, not now. Maybe later.”
Somehow, it set your mind at ease. With a fluttering heart, you walked inside the room and told them, “Goodnight, guys!”
“Sleep well, princess.”
You were ten and now knew what jealousy meant.
When You Were 13
It was your first time trying to use eyeliner as you stood in the bathroom, painting the black line along your right lid.
“Oh no!” you then exclaimed, having miscalculated the angle again and now in the process of making this line thicker than the one on your left lid. “I’ll never get it right…”
In the end, you considered yourself satisfied with what you had gotten right and put a bit of your mother’s lipstick and blush on. Throwing kisses and posing in front of the mirror, you threw your hair back and forth, inspecting your reflection from every side.
Not flawlessly perfect, you thought, but close to it.
In two inch heels, you walked out of the bathroom with your cutest dress on. From downstairs, you could already hear your brother shouting to your mother across the room that he was taking her car now, so you knew you didn’t have much time left before he’d leave.
“Taeyong!” you called after him, coming down the stairs with rather shaky steps and much slower than you intended. “Taeyong, wait! Can you take me with you and drop me off at Seulgi’s please?”
“Huh? Okay, then hurry up, Jaehyun is on hi-”
He stopped mid-sentence and watched you stop on the ground floor, not having recognized you at first glance.
“What did you do?” Taeyong then yelled, approaching you with hasty steps. “Why do you look like a panda? What’s with these dark eyes? That’s ridiculous!”
He wanted to touch your face, but you slapped his hand away. “That’s eyeliner! Everyone wears that nowadays!” you defended yourself.
“But not a thirteen year old!” he said indignantly. “And that lipstick? Is there a clown parade in the neighborhood I have to know about? Is that why you meet up at Seulgi’s? And what’s with these shoes? You can’t even walk in them! Did you get them from mom? They’re way too big!”
“Of course I can walk in them!” you yelled back at him. “Mind your own business, will you?!”
“You look entirely ridiculous, sis! Go dress yourself properly and wash your face at once! I’m not taking you with me if you look like this!”
“No way!” You stomped with your feet on the ground. “I can dress however I want!”
“Mom!” Taeyong then yelled louder. “Mom, come loo-”
You both turned around and encountered Jaehyun standing by the open entrance door.
“You didn’t hear me, so I thought I’d just go inside and then I saw you shouting at each other. What’s up even?”
“My sister is up!” Taeyong placed his hand on his forehead as though in exhaustion. “She decided to join the circus today, apparently! Just look at her!”
You felt tears welling up behind your eyes as Jaehyun’s gaze fell upon you. You had only wanted Taeyong to give you a ride, because he and Jaehyun were supposed to go to the sports court to play basketball this evening, and you wanted to take this chance to be close to his friend for a short while.
In a magazine from a classmate, you had read that women usually prettied themselves up before they met with a man they liked, and since your big brother’s best friend was the person you liked, you thought this also applied to you.
In the magazine, you had seen them not only wearing high heels, but also designer dresses and other pretty clothes. Their make up had made them look even more beautiful, and their hair was flowing in long locks over their shoulders.
You thought, for your age and skills, you didn’t look that bad. But in the eyes of 19-year-old boys, you apparently did look like a clown.
Without another word, you turned around and ran up the stairs. Your ankles hurt from all the twisting while walking, but you rather wanted to feel this physical pain instead of the emotional one Taeyong’s further words would make you experience.
You kicked the heels away in front of your bedroom and then disappeared to the inside, throwing yourself onto the bed with your clown face buried into the pillow. Rather than crying, you wanted to scream in anger. Only moments later, sadness kicked in.
You were only a child in these boys’ eyes, so your older brother was probably right. What did you even know? You most likely truly did look like a clown, having made a fool of yourself right in front of Jaehyun’s eyes.
Now, he would never look at you like a woman.
“Go away!” you then shouted as you heard it knock on your door. “I don’t want to talk to you!”
“It’s me.” Pause. “Jaehyun.”
Within a second, you were sitting straight on your bed, your expression lightening up until you realized that he was still your brother’s best friend and probably led a similar way of thinking.
“You don’t have to scold me as well. I know my lesson.”
“I didn’t come to scold you.”
You remained silent for a moment, but then consented, “Come in.”
Thick strands of your hair fell into your face, but you didn’t swipe them away to not have Jaehyun face your panda mien directly. You heard him closing the door behind him, then walking over to your bed.
“You know,” he started as he crouched down in front of you, “there was one thing I never quite understood. And that was how beautiful girls didn’t think they were already beautiful enough.”
You kneaded your fingers in nervousness, his voice clear enough for you to hear, but they didn’t seem to get through your head right away.
“I’ve known you since you were little, y/n. I know how you look when you’ve just woken up, I know how you look when you’re tired, I know how you look when you’re soaked with water… I know all of your faces. And if you don’t want to believe your family, then believe me that you don’t need any makeup to look pretty.”
Your heart jumped a little with each compliment he directed at you. It was the first time that a boy had told you that he found you pretty. And even though you knew Jaehyun only said it to you to appease and simultaneously encourage you, it was enough to force your sadness into a corner.
“But those idols and models in magazines, they also wear makeup and these clothes. Why shouldn’t I also be allowed to feel prettier?” You now had enough courage to look up at him, still reluctant to smile.
“Because…” Jaehyun touched your cheek in a reassuring manner, growing a smile. “You’re still too young to think that you can only go outside when you’re wearing makeup.”
“I won’t think that!”
“Really?” He raised a brow. “Once you start, you will get used to that new face of yours and won’t feel pretty or confident enough naturally. Of course, every woman can wear as much makeup as they want. But I don’t want a young girl like you to think she has to alternate the way she looks already. It feels so wrong.”
From your nightstand, he pulled out tissues from the box and then wiped over your mouth. His gentle gesture was a great contrast to the lightning zapping through your body whenever his fingers closed to your lips, even with the fabric in between.
You stared at him, frozen on the spot, and Jaehyun continued smiling. “If you cannot embrace yourself right now, how will it be later on?”
Letting his words sink in, you had to acknowledge their accuracy. “When can I try then? When I’m older?”
“Well...” He withdrew his hand, the tissue smeared with red color. “When you realize that you don’t need any of it. At all times.”
Not the answer you expected, but you were still content. You helped him wipe over your eyes, turning you into a human again instead of a panda.
“And Taeyong holds the same opinion, trust me,” Jaehyun added when he threw the tissues into the trash can. “He was only shocked to see his little sister so dressed up, like an adult. He just didn’t voice it very well. It’s like that when you have overprotective, big brothers, hm?”
When you followed Jaehyun downstairs, dressed in your usual clothes with no trace of makeup left anymore, Taeyong was already waiting by the stairs, his expression turning from an anxious to a relieved one when he saw you.
“‘’scuse me,” he murmured.
“Me too,” you murmured back to him.
And just like that, like it always was among siblings, the fight was never addressed again.
You rode with Taeyong and Jaehyun to your friend Seulgi, and the smile Jaehyun threw at you when you turned back and waved at them made up for everything that had happened in the past hour.
It was nearly bedtime for you later that night when you sat on the couch in the living room as Taeyong and Jaehyun walked through the entrance door together.
In your pink pajamas, with your hair sticking out to all sides, you probably wouldn’t make it into a fashion magazine. But after Jaehyun’s reassuring words, you weren’t worried about these things anymore as you met his approving gaze when the both of them flopped down to the left and right of yours.
“How was your match?” you asked them.
“I totally destroyed Jaehyun!” Taeyong called him out loudly. “Right?”
“Only by one point,” Jaehyun grumbled.
“In all games!”
You laughed along with them when you heard your mother call you from upstairs to go to bed. You then jumped off from the couch and ran to the stairs.
“Sleep well, princess.”
You were thirteen and Jaehyun the only boy you had eyes for.
When You Were 16
“Where are you going?” Taeyong asked you from the couch, shifting away from the TV and around to you.
You had entered the living room in search of your other high heel, but still didn’t succeed in finding it, and you were already running late. You had dressed yourself in a nice outfit that the shoes would only complete, because tonight was a special occasion.
“On a date,” you deadpanned at your brother, your eyes scanning your left and right.
“Who is it? The guy who’s two years your senior again?”
“Yeah. Can you pick me up from the cinema later?”
He nodded. “Sure. I’ll be there at 11. If you’re not there by then, he’s dead meat.”
You rolled your eyes, but still couldn’t bite down a grin. “Shouldn’t you be studying for your university exams? Isn’t that why you’re spending the time at home? Instead, you’re worried about some high school boy.”
“Trust me, I know how high school boys are, sis, I was one myself,” Taeyong spoke with a serious tone. “Especially the ones in their last year are the worst.”
“Ugh, please, spare me from these stories!” You had seen girls entering and exiting your house more often than you wanted to remember when you had only been eleven. “Just pick me up at 11, okay?”
Taeyong laughed. “Alright, I’ll be there.”
Three hours later, you stood in front of the cinema, waiting for your brother with a sulky expression on your face, the rain mercilessly pouring down at you.
Only minutes later, a black car pulled up on the street in front of you, and you crossed the pavement from the cinema to the vehicle with your hands shielding your face from the rain as you opened the door and hopped inside.
“Thank for coming so qui-”
The one sitting in the driver’s seat was not your brother though.
You didn’t see him as often anymore after he had moved to Daejeon to study. Every now and then, he came to visit his grandfather or Taeyong though, and when they were in the mood, they stepped by at your house, but not as often as before and surely for not as long. You wished it would be different though.
Of course, you got it. They were university students now, not school boys anymore with other obligations and commitments in life while you were fully enjoying your teenage years. Jaehyun’s mind would be occupied with other things than visiting his best friend’s little sister.
Throughout the time, Jaehyun had only stayed that for you: a simple crush from your childhood that you admired from afar. And that hadn’t stopped you from meeting other people.
“What are you doing here?” you asked him, perplexed.
“My grandfather has been feeling unwell lately, so I’m staying with him for the week.”
That must have been a spontaneous decision due to an emergency you assumed, because the last time you had asked about Jaehyun, Taeyong hadn’t mentioned anything about it. Or he had simply forgotten due to the stress from university.
“I’m sorry about your grandfather,” you said. “I’m glad I got to see you at least, though.”
Throughout the veil of dripping leftover rain, a smile was visible on your face and Jaehyun audibly let out a rush of air as he started the car. “Taeyong sent me to pick you up as he quickly had to drop by his dorm and grab some books.”
“Ah okay, so he actually did start studying in the end.” You chuckled.
“I came back from the States only yesterday, so he and I haven’t been able to have a good chat yet. We’ll still be catching up though.”
“Have you visited your parents?” you asked him out of curiosity. “Is their company still doing well?”
“Yeah, kind of visiting and kind of learning from their success. I haven’t seen them for very long periods since studying at KAIST, so I took the opportunity to fly over there. And I have to get back when my grandfather is feeling better, ready to return to university for the final exams.”
“Sounds kind of exhausting, jetting between two countries and attending to your family’s duties. Are you alright?”
His eyes widened for a short moment, and you wondered whether you were the first person to ever ask this genuinely.
“I’m okay.” But feeling uncomfortable with the attention, Jaehyun then shifted it back to you. “What about you? How was your date?”
You replied to him, “One word: awful. I don’t think we’re going to continue dating.”
He furrowed. “But why?”
You were pondering whether you wanted to tell him or not as you were still reluctant to spill the entire story. But you knew how nagging Jaehyun could be, so you spared him the details and mainly delivered the necessary parts of the story which consisted of only,
“He can’t kiss, okay? At least I don’t think that’s how kissing is supposed to feel. And I don’t know whether it’s on me or him, but…” you breathed in deeply. “It’s just not working out. He’s the only boy I’ve ever kissed, so I don’t have a comparison, but whenever I think about kissing him, I just want to run away, because it feels so gross and wrong.”
You closed your eyes shut, not wanting to see his expression, but instead, you heard a very loud laughter.
“So funny, huh,” you asked ironically as you opened your eyes again.
“Oh to be a teenager again,” Jaehyun continued laughing.
You got very worked up over that topic. “What if that’s what kissing is like and I just don’t like it? Or what if I just… can’t kiss?”
The words were falling from your lips like an endless stream, and you only realized now that it was Jaehyun you were directing them at. You got so flustered, you wanted to jump out of the car right there and then.
“Well, y/n,” Jaehyun then began as you sank further into your seat as though it would suck you into a deep, black hole. Thank god you would be home in a few minutes. “I can assure you, kissing is indeed a blissful act, nothing that should gross you out or even feel wrong. And if it doesn’t work quite the way you want the first time around, you can only practice. But trust me, it’s an awesome way to express your feelings.”
“I wouldn’t know,” you conceded.
“Yet,” Jaehyun added. “Sometimes, two people just don’t match. That can happen, but don’t let this experience discourage you. One day, you’ll meet a guy, and everything will fall into place. Then, it will feel right. Then, you will think back about your date just now and laugh.”
“So… it’s okay if I tell him that we don’t make a good couple and end it? Over this topic only?”
“Of course. You definitely should if you feel this way. You don’t want to lead him on, right?”
“No, for sure not.”
As always, Jaehyun managed to encourage and cheer on you. It was just such a shame that he wasn’t around as often anymore.
“Hey Jaehyun…” He pulled up in front of your house. “I still have the crown that you gave me.”
Even in the semi-darkness of the car’s insides, you saw how his face brightened up. “Really? That plastic thing?”
“Exactly that.” As he brought his car to a stop, you unbuckled your seatbelt. “By the way… it’s sad that you’re not around as often anymore.”
“Yeah, I think so too. But I just have-”
“-so much to do,” you ended his sentence, the corner of your lips tilting down. “I know. Taeyong always says that as well when I ask about you.”
Jaehyun’s eyes widened. “You do?”
You chuckled and turned to the door, aiming for the handle. “Almost every time when he comes home for the weekend. I think he gets sick and tired of my questions already, but I can’t help myself. When you have free time next summer, let’s go to the seaside again, okay? Good night then, Jaehyun.”
You waited for him to say his usual goodbye line, but as it didn’t come, you wanted to turn around and check on him. Before you could do so though, he had already wrapped his fingers around your wrist and pulled you back into your seat.
Rendered silent, you didn’t know what was happening around you as Jaehyun’s face suddenly hovered over yours, his gaze casting a spell over you, and you couldn’t look away anymore. Your heart was jumping irregularly against your chest, and you feared that he might hear how loud it was as blood rushed to your ears at the same time.
One of his hands found its way onto your cheek and rested there for a moment, letting you relish the warmth as his face drew closer to yours. You had kissed someone only an hour prior, yet you didn’t feel any pang of conscience as you became aware of what this situation implied if you continued.
But you didn’t stop and closed your eyes instead.
For all the time that Jaehyun was gone, you had thought your feelings constantly vanished little by little until they had entirely vanished, brushing them off as a light crush. But the truth was that they had been kept in control on a lukewarm blaze only, ready to inflame again when you were conscious enough to accept their meaning.
And your feelings were very much set aflame when his lips brushed over yours before he leaned in further and captured them fully, deepening the kiss. Parting your mouth in a gentle manner, you let him pass through with his tongue, your fingers searching for support by gripping onto his shirt.
This wasn’t like kissing the guy from before. This felt sweet, endearing and simply… right.
Jaehyun had told you the truth about kissing. It was a heartfelt act that made it possible to convey feelings that couldn’t or didn’t want to be expressed in another way.
The kiss slowed down only after minutes when you were sure that you would run out of breath soon as you still didn’t know how to align your breathing rhythm with the motions. You hoped he hadn’t minded.
“Sleep well, princess,” was what Jaehyun then said after he had pulled away.
You then stood there, in front of your house, totally flabbergasted, the warmth of his lips against yours still present as you touched that exact spot, realizing something very important in your life now. With idle steps, you made your way into the house, trying to sort out your thoughts.
You didn’t want that senior from school. Or another guy. And the reason it hadn’t worked out with him or wouldn’t with anyone else was because your heart would never fully be with them.
It had always only been with Jaehyun.
When Taeyong entered the house an hour later, you hadn’t moved from your spot at the kitchen table where you had taken a seat, staring into space. Your brother was only a shadow in the background you barely perceived as you had a hard time coming to a conclusion with your thoughts.
“How was it, sis? Do I have to beat that guy up?” he asked you.
“No,” you answered absent-mindedly. “It was nice, but I’m still going to stop seeing him, though.”
“Well, okay. Sucks for him, I guess.” Taeyong shrugged. “Whatever makes you happy makes me happy as well. You’ll eventually find the right one, I’m sure about that. You’re still so young.”
With these words, he pulled you out of your thoughts, and you wanted to know further, “Do you mean it, Yongie? From sibling to sibling?”
“That you’ll eventually find the right one?”
“Whatever makes you happy makes me happy, I mean.”
“Of course.” He nodded at you encouragingly.
If this was the case, then he wouldn’t mind your feelings for Jaehyun. Why should he even? Jaehyun was his best friend. If there was someone he would surely approve of, then it would be Jaehyun, out of all people.
This. This was it.
You wanted to wait then.
For you to grow more mature and attain your majority. When you were ready, you wanted to pursue a relationship with him. You were just afraid that Jaehyun couldn’t wait for just as long. But you wanted to give it your best.
Your light crush on your brother’s best friend was long gone.
You were head over heels in love with him now.
When You Were 19
“Now, a picture with your brother!”
You got closer to Taeyong who then put an arm on your waist, holding one of your flower bouquets while you were being kept occupied with the other ones. Yet, you were still smiling and holding up a peace-sign into your parents’ camera.
“I’m so proud of you, sis!” He hugged you for the nth time that morning.
“Ah, come on, Yongie! You just had your graduation ceremony as well, don’t discredit your own success!”
“Only because I enlisted in the meantime, so it’s nothing special in comparison to you graduating from high school. And then, you’re going to study at Ewha!”
Ewha Womans University. You had been dreaming of getting in ever since you were very young, having worked hard throughout the past years to pass the entrance exams. At last, academically, everything had worked out for you.
“Congratulations from me as well.”
That voice… You turned around just to meet a face you hadn’t seen in more than two years.
The moment you spotted him, your heart started to pound faster and hotness shot into your cheeks.
“I invited him, sis!” your brother clarified. “He was in town and couldn’t miss your graduation, right?”
Jaehyun’s grandfather had died before he decided to enlist right after graduating from university. You hadn’t known that he was back in town, but now he stood here in front of you again, having changed so much and not at all at the same time.
He had matured outwardly in the years you hadn’t seen each other.
When people grew up side by side, such a process naturally passed by them, but since you had been apart with no contact, he seemed like an entirely new person to you now, not the boy in his early twenties you had last seen.
He was a 25-year-old young man now, but still the very same person you were in love with.
As for you, you had grown up as well. You had not only mastered the art of makeup, but gotten your driver’s license and would soon move out to start living in a dorm when university started. Yes, you had also dated in the meantime, but none of the guys came close to the one you had been waiting for.
Jaehyun hugged you tightly, and you were sure that he must have felt your heavy heartbeat against his chest when he pressed you close to his firm physique.
“Ah, give me the flowers,” Taeyong then offered to you. “She can’t carry more. Here, hold Jaehyun’s instead. Wait here, I’ll bring them to the car. Where are our parents again? Man…”
Your brother disappeared the next moment, leaving you two all by yourself. The surroundings radiated a hectic atmosphere with all the students and family members running up and down, taking photos and talking, yet to you, it felt like you and Jaehyun were in your own world.
“What brings you to Seoul?” you asked him with a smile. “Not my graduation only, I assume.”
“That too, though.”
You raised a brow. “What else?”
Jaehyun’s parents were running a successful company in the States, but Jaehyun himself had never really been involved in it. They had rarely come to visit here, he had only stayed with his grandfather in Korea.
He had only stayed in Korea for his grandfather…
But his grandfather was now dead.
“I’ve graduated from a prestigious university, my enlistment period is over, I have no one to take care of here anymore… it’s time for me to move on and follow in my parents’ footsteps like they wanted. My time in Korea is up now.”
You bit into your bottom lip, shaking your head, still desillusional to the truth. “But this is Korea, Jaehyun. You have always been here. Why would you go to the States?”
“Because this is why I’ve come here in the first place. First, my grandfather had to take care of me when I was only a child so that I could graduate from school. Then, I had to take care of him while working towards my graduation from a university. Now that I’ve achieved everything my parents had wanted me to, I can follow them to the States.”
“But… that doesn’t make any sense. You belong here, Jaehyun.”
Jaehyun was struggling with non-emotional explanations too, you saw it. “I feel so too. I haven’t felt so at home at any other place. Only at your house. You were my family when I had barely one.”
“Then why do you go away? Stay here, simple as that.” You just couldn’t wrap your head around it.
“Sometimes, it’s not that simple.” He tilted his head as though he was pondering whether to say something he was still holding back or not. “Actually, I was supposed to leave after high school to study in the States already. But since I’ve gotten into KAIST, they let me stay. You know why I desperately wanted to stay here and applied to that university?”
You shook your head.
“Because I didn’t want to leave you behind.”
With your mouth agape, you didn’t know what to respond to him as simultaneously, you felt your heart sink. There was nothing to be happy about, so you calmed down your excitement over his confession. This scene wouldn’t close with a happy end.
“You were only six when we got introduced to each other. I’ve seen you grow throughout the years, yet for me, you’ve always stayed that six year old girl who came running towards her older brother and stopped in her tracks, because she spotted an unfamiliar person. I wanted to protect that little girl forever.”
His flower bouquet was rustling in your hands. That sound seemed very near, but Jaehyun’s voice was miles away. Was it because you didn’t want to listen to his continuing words?
“You’re scared of the dark, you stumble very often, you nearly cry when you get startled, you can’t watch horror movies and you still eat watermelon like a little child. How could I leave this innocent, precious girl behind?”
“Is this how you see me?” you asked through pressed lips. “As a little girl? Because I’m not one anymore.”
“Of course you’re not a little girl anymore. But you’ll always stay your brother’s little sister for me.”
Jaehyun disappeared behind strands of your hair that the breeze had gotten loose from your bun, and your gaze now dropped to the flowers in your hands.
Of course. In your high school uniform, you couldn’t possibly be the right match for someone who had already graduated from university and would now move to the other side of the world to co-lead a company.
Years of waiting went down the drain just like that.
“Back then… have I also only been Taeyong's little sister to you?”
You didn’t even need to give further hints. He knew exactly what you meant. In his eyes, you saw how much he struggled with himself right now. No, you weren’t wrong. Back then, he had expressed his feelings for you as well. You hadn’t been the only one.
You weren’t just his best friend’s little sister.
“I don’t know what’s gotten into my mind back then,” Jaehyun tried to backpedal. “I shouldn’t have done that. I mean… A sixteen year old girl?”
“What about it?” you pressed the topic. “It would have been controversial when I was thirteen and you were nineteen. It would have been controversial when I was fifteen and you were twenty-one. But now? Nobody cares whether it’s nineteen and twenty-five or twenty-two and twenty-eight. Thirty and thirty-six? Nobody cares two hoots about it! I’m a grown up, young woman now. Please view me as one as well!”
As he didn’t answer, you felt tears burning around the rims of your eyes. Jaehyun lifted his hand to comfort you, but retracted it at the last moment.
“You can’t, right?” was your conclusion. “Even if you wanted to, you can’t. I will always be your best friend’s little sister in your eyes, right? The one who came running at you in her princess gown which you completed with a plastic crown, who fell down the stairs and had to be accompanied by you back to her room. The little girl who sulked at the beach and only got happier when you gifted her a popsicle, who you helped clean off her first makeup attempt. Who you… made so happy, showing what it was like to be kissed in a heartfelt way.”
“I get it, Jaehyun. You don’t have to vindicate yourself.” Your lips formed a thin line, almost hurting, and you tried to stay strong, swallowing down all the tears. “For me, you’re my big brother’s best friend who I had a crush on when I was only a little child. But you are also the person I fell in love with when I was a teenager and who I want to be with now that I’m all grown up. But you cannot seem to move on from the stigma I have in your eyes. And as long as you cannot do this, I’ll always stay your best friend’s little sister.”
The day you graduated from high school was also the day you got your heart broken.
“I wish you all the best for your new life in the States.”
Yet, as you walked away from Jaehyun, you held your head up high, proudly crossing the schoolyard, greeting and bidding farewell to everyone who addressed you. You couldn’t even remember their faces anymore as only one was on your mind.
Taeyong and your parents were waiting by the car when you arrived, and you pretended that everything was fine when they asked where Jaehyun was.
“He didn’t want to come with us,” you lied.
You had asked him to stay away, and he obeyed.
Taeyong’s gaze rested on you the entire way home while yours was absent-mindedly directed at the side window. Your heart was bleeding, but you kept it together from the outside.
But a sibling’s eyes were able to see more than others’ eyes.
“Sis,” your brother then began, “there is something I need to tell you.”
When You Were 21
You watched your sister-in-law in her white gown where she was sitting at the table, beaming at your older brother. The DJ was playing a romantic and well-known song in the background while the MC aimed for the center of the improvised dance floor to incite the guests to dance.
A mild, salty breeze was blowing through the festive tent under which you were sitting, your bare feet buried in the sand under your table. Your fingers closed around the champagne glass in front of you, and you led it to your mouth, downing it all at once.
“Enjoying the reception?” Taeyong was by your side the next moment, taking the seat next to you.
“Yeah, absolutely,” you assured him honestly.
You hadn’t been to your grandparents’ house these past years, but now, you had all gathered here in this small town again to celebrate your big brother’s wedding. Your entire family from all across the country had arrived along with Taeyong’s friends from all the different phases in his life so far.
“Even though Jaehyun is here?”
You cringed at his words, your eyes, that had tried to avoid that specific direction, rolling to the exact person that had just been mentioned. He was sitting at the table across the hall from you, chatting with his friends from school. Then, your eyes returned to your brother’s now wife.
“If she hurts you, I’m going to hurt her as well.”
“I can understand now even better why you didn’t want him to hurt me, Yongie.” You tilted your head to the side, smiling at Taeyong from that angle. “He had to leave sooner or later to go live somewhere else and thus breaking my heart.”
“He didn’t want to date anyone while he was here, and trust me, almost every girl at our school tried to shoot her shot.”
You snickered. “I know.”
“When I told him that he would never be allowed to hurt my sister, he took it very seriously. I’m sorry that I haven’t seen it coming that he hurt you by doing exactly that.”
“Yongie.” You paused. “We’ve talked about that topic so many times already. And I can tell again: stop blaming yourself. You did nothing wrong. You didn’t tell him to raise my hopes up and then dump me. You only told him to spare me from any kind of pain. That he hurt me eventually is only his fault.”
“I wish that I would have been able to spare you from this pain as well as your older sibling.”
You shrugged. “That’s part of growing up, huh? Even you can’t spare me from falling in love with someone and experiencing heartbreak. The heartbreaks after that weren’t that severe.”
“So it’s truly over between you and that guy?” your brother asked. “Is that why you’ve come without a plus one?”
“Yeah. When he scheduled a viewing with the realtor for us to move in together next year, I figured that wasn’t what I wanted.”
“What is it that you want then, sis?”
Your eyes looked over to Taeyong’s bride, then shifted back to him. “Exactly what you have.”
You halted the conversation and sat by side in silence for a while, watching the MC and other guests playing games.
“Jaehyun is staying in Korea now,” Taeyong pulled you out of your thoughts again. “His parents will open a branch here and he’s going to lead it.”
You didn’t know what to say. At first, you didn’t feel anything. Then, you felt everything at once. Anger, sadness, despair, but also happiness and excitement. You were in such an intense emotional turmoil, your brother’s statement having suddenly shaken your entire world in which you had settled with the thought of not having Jaehyun even on the same continent as you.
“Excuse me, Yongie.” You arose from your seat, suddenly getting suffocated by the heavy atmosphere, even though you were partially outside at a beach. “I need some fresh air.”
And you straight up walked out of the tent.
Five minutes later, you were standing by the shore, having your eyes closed and listening to the background noise of the reception that took place behind you. The water touched your toes with every next wave, forming a great contrast to that stifling feeling from earlier. The sound of music and faded conversations that came from the location behind you blended in well with the sound of the ocean by night with no one around but you.
Your ears then eavesdropped footsteps approaching in your direction though, disrupting the peaceful quietness, but you didn’t turn around to make out the person. You already knew who it was. And this time, you were ready to breathe again.
“Why didn’t you tell me the truth?” you asked Jaehyun, opening your eyes. “Three years ago, when we last saw each other… why didn’t you tell me that you’ve promised my brother to never hurt me and thus rejected me?”
“Because, at that point, I already did,” he responded to you, the sand giving in under his bare feet. “I saw in your eyes how much pain I made you feel after getting your hopes up with that kiss and then not being able to act on my true feelings because of my obligations. I have only promised him one thing. And even that, I haven’t been able to keep. The person he trusted the most eventually hurt the person he loved the most. It’s been haunting me ever since, because if I hadn’t kissed you, things might have played out differently.”
“I would have understood,” you asserted as he suddenly stood next to you, facing the ocean as well. “That your stay in this country was only temporary, and that Taeyong only didn’t want you to develop feelings and act on them, because you’d eventually have to leave.”
“Even if, would that have stopped you from developing feelings for me after what happened between us? I was supposed to be the mature one. Yet, in the end, it was me acting like a child, led by feelings.”
You tilted your head to the side. “In the end, it was never about me being your best friend’s little sister, but sparing me from a heartache, am I right?”
“Your brother said that no one should ever hurt you. Not even me.”
You stretched yourself, raising your arms in the air. “We would have made it work somehow.”
“I know how much you love your family and this country. Ever since you were a little child, you never wanted to go anywhere else. I couldn’t be the one partially forcing you to live in another country.”
“And now?” you asked, inhaling deeply.
“I’m back now. And I’m going to stay as my parents opened their asian branch here and want me to lead it.”
You ignored your faster heart rate. “I’m another person now, Jaehyun.”
“I’ve embraced every person you have evolved yourself into ever since we’ve known each other. And I gradually fell in love with every single one of them. When you were a child, I wanted to protect you from everything evil. When you turned into a teenager, I suppressed every slight urge to kiss you on the spot. When you have become that beautiful young woman, I had to withhold myself to confess my undying love for you. I switched from wanting to be your protector to wanting to be your lover as well.”
You blinked away your tears. “For… so long already?” you whispered. “You’ve been having feelings for me for so long?”
“I haven’t seen you as my best friend’s little sister for many years already.” His voice was soft, tempting.
You swallowed, hard. “I didn’t sit around, waiting for you, Jaehyun. I’ve built my own life, I’m independent now.”
“Of course,” he agreed, seemingly more to himself. “I wasn’t expecting that. I just thought that… you might still be interested in pursuing a relationship with me on the off chance. But if you don’t feel this way anymore, then I can understand.”
Jaehyun waited around for a few more moments, but without hearing you utter another word, he assumed the answer was clear, so he intended to head back. With the sand scrunching under his feet, he slowly walked away from you.
It didn’t take you much longer to turn around to him and reveal, “I was supposed to move in with my boyfriend next year after university.” He didn’t stop distancing himself from you yet though. “But I broke up with him right before I got here.”
Then, Jaehyun finally came to a halt, and you approached him slowly from behind. “You did?”
“But not because of you, Jaehyun,” you made clear to him. “I deeply loved him, I truly did. And I was only able to come that far, because I’ve gotten over you. I’ve moved on from you. But in the end, he wasn’t what I exactly wanted.”
“And what is it that you now want?”
Still facing his back, you answered confidently, “A life independent from someone else. Even from my brother. I’ve grown up with you both constantly by my side. Only throughout the past years, I’m slowly learning who I truly am, and I’m still in the process of doing so. My life’s been great, and I would love to continue living like this.”
You saw him bobbing his head. “I understand.”
“...with you by my side.”
Jaehyun faltered. “W… what?”
“If we had gotten together back then, I would have spent my youth shaping my future around you. But like this, I was able to live the life I really wanted to find out who I am and what I wanted. And even though I truly wanted to be with someone else… I know that a little six-year-old girl would be hella at me if I don’t pursue what she had always wanted. Because the truth is, Jaehyun, in every childhood, there’s someone we can’t forget. I always told myself to never wait around that long though.” You wiped away a tear from your cheek. “But you came back.”
“But I came back,” he repeated and slowly turned around to you. “And this time, I intend to stay.”
“For how long?” you asked, drying your cheeks with the back of your hands.
“I hope…” He paused, enclosing your face with his warm palms, “This time, I can stay forever.”
You overlooked the scenery that unfolded in front of your sight. From the tent at the beach, you still heard faint voices and music playing, yet you had decided to return to your grandparents’ house already after having talked to Jaehyun, now having gotten up in the middle of the night to still enjoy the silence of the sea before the whole world would wake up.
Not too long anymore, and the sun would start rising. You tied the blanket tighter around your naked body, your shoulders still exposed to the breeze that grazed along your skin, causing you goosebumps. Leaning over the balustrade, you closed your eyes and inhaled the salty air, a peaceful smile on your lips.
You shuddered when you suddenly felt a warm touch on that spot of your skin that seemed cold to you. A very welcoming contrast.
“Cannot sleep?” Jaehyun asked you as he pressed himself against you from behind, taking you in his arms and sharing his warmth.
You shook your head. “I’m still… so excited. Happy. How are you supposed to find sleep when there is just so much going on inside you?”
He rested his chin on your shoulder, tickling you. “I feel the same.”
“I remember… when I was ten, we spent a summer here together. And I found you with other girls while searching for you. That was when I first experienced jealousy. But then, you came back with a popsicle only for me.”
Jaehyun chuckled. “Unknowingly, you were the only girl in my life for a very long time. When it first crossed my mind that my feelings may exceed those of brotherly love, I found you standing in the rain after a failed date.”
“I was sixteen at that time, and after our first kiss, there hadn’t been anyone else except for you. I wanted to wait until I was ready for you.”
“I’m sorry that I have made you wait for so long.” He truly sounded regretful, but you knew already as you had spent the majority of the night talking about the past among… finally taking your relationship to another, physical level. “I must confess something though,” Jaehyun then broke it down to you. “When I was in the US, I was engaged.”
“Oh.” Your whole body froze up, but you weren’t surprised at all. He was attractive, intelligent and successful. Every woman would want someone like Jaehyun. “Why did you break it off?”
“Because... “ He placed another kiss on your naked body, this time on the side of your neck. “There was only one little girl I promised to marry. And she was living on the other side of the world.”
“Me?” you asked, confused. “You promised to marry me?”
“Silly. You totally forgot, hm? You were six and I was twelve when you asked for my hand in marriage. I was so shocked, I didn’t quite know what to respond! But from that moment on, I promised to you and myself that I would protect you forever.”
You counted yourself lucky for the fact that the night sky concealed the embarrassment showing on your cheeks. There were many fond memories you had been holding of Jaehyun, but you were also aware that many other ones were missing. For example your proposal.
“Look who’s getting all shy!”
“I was six, I probably didn’t know what that meant!”
“You knew very well.” Jaehyun grabbed you by your upper arms and moved you around to face him. Even now, under the dim moonlight, you still couldn’t believe that he was finally here. And yours. “The question is, y/n, whether you’re aware that you cannot take a proposal back.”
“Well…” You gulped before taking that step. “Are you aware that you cannot take your answer back as well?”
“Very well,” he agreed.
Bending down, Jaehyun placed his lips on yours for the nth time that night, and as your kiss deepened and his arms wrapped around your still covered waist, you knew that you probably wouldn’t get too much sleep anymore until it was time for the family brunch the next morning.
You felt his fingers crawling up between your thighs, parting the thin blanket around your legs. The cool breeze swirled strands of your hair up into the air as you rested your forehead on Jaehyun’s shoulder, his fingers working upwards until he reached your core that then started to throb against his palm.
“H...here?” you asked him between breaths and spread yourself further for him.
“Mhmm,” Jaehyun hummed, his hot breath hitting your earlobe as he turned his head to you. “No one can see us and the view is splendid.”
“So you’re that kind of a guy, hm?”
Having slept with Jaehyun for the first time earlier that night was kind of… awkward for not only you, but him as well. You had been friends for the majority of your childhood, so shaking off the sisterly admiration as well as crossing the inhibition level had turned out to be a big step to take that you both had underestimated.
There had been a lot of “uhm”s and “eeeh”s, a lot of surreptitious glances, and a lot of sexual advances that had failed and needed to be repeated, but also a lot of loving words to overcome these inhibitions and just let go. You weren’t a virgin anymore and he wasn't either, it was all just in your head.
The Jaehyun that still lived in your memories was the Jaehyun from your childhood and teenage years. The Jaehyun here with you now was the one you hadn’t seen nor interacted with for years, a grown up man who offered himself to be your romantic partner in life, not a sibling-like acquaintance anymore.
And once your mind had realized that as well, you found yourself under him, enjoying his stroking game that was just top notch.
You mewled quietly when he slowly but deliberately pushed two fingers into you, and your hands reached for the balustrade behind you for support. No, he definitely wasn’t someone you looked at like a sibling anymore. He had been able to prove to you that he was way more than that within the past hours only.
Your breaths came in hitches as Jaehyun worked with his fingers inside of you, pumping in and out at a rhythmic pace. With your legs shaking, you had a hard time continuing standing steadily, afraid your knees would give in at any moment.
The blanket that had kept your bare body hidden from the moonlight and warm from the cool sea breeze then slipped over your arms, passed by your waist, and finally dropped to your feet. Jaehyun himself was still only in his boxers, so it was an easy job for you to hook your fingers into the waistband and pull the underwear down so that he was exposed in front of you as well.
Supporting your elbows on the parapet, you arched your spine and threw your head back as Jaehyun started to rub his full palm over your folds, giving your clit just the right amount of friction with each stroke to swell against his hand.
He brushed with his lips over the side of your neck until he found the right spot and started to nibble on it. You moaned quietly as he stimulated you in two places simultaneously, and for the break of a second, as you suddenly realized that you were here on the balcony, exposed to the very wide world, you froze up. But then again, as his teeth buried themselves into your side, you forgot all of your worries and relished the act.
You bucked your hips against Jaehyun’s flat hand, close to your release already, when he let go of you and made you turn around to face him with your back. The untouched steel from the balustrade felt cold against your ribs as you let out a gasp after having Jaehyun smack your bum, the sound echoing throughout the calm night.
Your fingers wrapped tightly round the metal as you bent over backwards and had him spread your cheeks. With knuckles turning white and front teeth sinking into your bottom lip, you let him enter from behind with no problems as you were already so wet.
Jaehyun was pressed hard against your back as you shuffled to find the right posture for him. Shortly later, you had your arms finding support in a crossing position on the railing with your chin resting on them, your back forming a nearly straight line where it ended with your bum getting connected to Jaehyun.
His fingers submerged into the flesh around your thighs, and you had to bite down a scream when he plunged deep into you for the first time. Where your sight was directed at the nighttime scenery in front of you, you had it now dropped as you took every stroke of him with delight, protruding your bottom even higher as it felt more intense to you this way.
Slapping sounds mixed with your moans chimed throughout the night, possibly loud enough for your neighbors to not miss what was exactly going on on your balcony. You rigidly held your body against his, giving in with every slam that came down, but also bouncing back to position whenever he withdrew.
Only Jaehyun changed your position when he brought your bodies together to a more intimate standing position and held you against the balustrade, one of his hands rubbing against your clit, the other massaging your breasts while he was sucking on your neck at the same time all while still moving inside of you.
You had no idea how he was doing that, but thinking back, Jaehyun had always been good at multitasking, you remembered. And as you were standing there on the balcony, getting penetrated and stimulated on so many levels, emotionally and physically, you were sure you could faint right there on the spot.
But instead, you came all over him, inside and outside, silently and vocally. Your hand grabbed the back of his head, the other searching for the rail to have something that supported you in case you’d truly faint.
Jaehyun was holding you throughout all your small and big waves of highs, holding you closely when you shuddered and mewled in his arms, almost forgetting to enjoy his own release that followed right after yours, and you supported him just as much as he had supported you.
Shortly later, when you were all cleaned and cuddled up in the bed again, you confessed something to him.
“Actually,” you started, lying on your side and facing Jaehyun. “I still have the crown that you gave me.”
“No way!” he exclaimed and pulled the blanket over the both of you. “That old plastic thing?”
“As I said,” you continued, right before well earned sleep finally got the better of you, “it’s my biggest treasure.”
You still felt the softness of his lips on your forehead before passing out.
“Sleep well, princess.”
When You Were 6
“And then, he just called me ‘granny’! Only because of the bun my mom made me this morning!” you sobbed into your hands, sitting on the terrace. “Now, all the boys in my class call me like this and they won’t stop! I will never wear a bun to preschool again!”
You reached with one hand into your hair, fiddling with the elastic that held your strands together on the very top of your head. You had wanted to complain to your older brother, but he wasn’t home yet, and instead, you had found his new friend in your garden, opening up to him now.
“Leave it!” Jaehyun told you and seated himself next to you. “I find that bun suits you. It’s cute on a little girl like you.”
Through a teary vision, you made eye contact with him. “You… think so?”
Jaehyun nodded euphorically. “Don’t listen to boys your age. They can be very silly at times.”
You looked up to him with big eyes. “Jaehyun!”
“Hm?” He smiled.
“Later on, I don’t want to marry such guys!” you blurted out clearly. “I want to marry you! Because you’re not as mean as them. You’re kind.”
With slightly opened lips, he stiffened. But not for long though. His smile broke through a second later again, his features solemn and soft.
“Look!” Jaehyun arose, took you by your hand and helped you up. “Right now, you’re still a little girl. So grow up fast, okay? Then we can marry.”
You pumped your fist in the air, sealing a deal that seemed so uncoerced and comfortable to you at that moment, of which impact you weren’t fully aware of yet though, and which you would forget in a few years from now on.
… he had always remembered.
Although at the moment of the promise, Jaehyun hadn’t taken it seriously. He had thought that you were only speaking from the top of your head, aiming for a little girl’s fantasy who grew up with an overprotective older brother. He had hoped you’d dismiss it from your mind when time flew by.
And you actually did.
Whereas Jaehyun was the one who had never been able to forget.
69 Places To Have Sex (M)
◟* ♡︎ .. pairing — jeno x f!reader
◟* ♡︎ .. genre — smut, with a dash of fluff
◟* ♡︎ .. word count — 3.8k
◟* ♡︎ .. warnings — explicit smut, a couple with a very spontaneous sex life and a boyfriend with a bucket list of places to have sex, dom!jeno, inexperenced!reader, fingering, clit play, oral sex (f receiving), idol!jeno, dirty talk, seduction, multiple orgasms, daddy kink, wall sex, established relationship!au, semi public, voyeurism, slight degradation, exhibitionist!jeno, explicit language, bucket list sex places!au, just pure filth.
◟* ♡︎ .. summary — “Or we can just do it here.” He hummed, his fingers immediately latching onto his belt and working as quickly as ever to get it loose. “Lee Jeno,” you quietly scolded with a laugh, placing a hand over his and looked around. “People can see you.” Once you looked back down at him, he shook his head slowly, “It doesn’t matter, baby,” He reasoned, his tongue flickering over his lips. “Everyone’s wasted, I promise. I just…I want you so bad.”
a/n: this is a three part series which means this is the last part but if you guys would like me to continue this, leave feedback and I’ll think about it!! (ps. i know it says non idol!jeno in the other parts i just noticed it adjsjdjd but he is an idol in this fic k bye) ALSO THANK YOU FOR 1K AND 900+ NOTES ON THE FIRST TWO PARTS <3<3<3
song: Love In This Club II. part one. part two. masterlist.
“Jeno,” You groaned softly, stretching out the vowels in his name. “I really really really just wanted to stay home tonight, it’s no big deal.“
The ’no big deal’ was your birthday of course. Jeno had just gotten back home from a four-week trip for work with the boys and his family conned him into letting them throw you a party, as soon as he got back. Make no mistake, you weren’t a boring person who didn’t like parties and surprises, you would just rather spend your birthday in your pyjamas with a bottle of wine, cuddling with Jeno and watch anime like you always do. You solely seemed to enjoy each others’ company a lot more than throwing parties and getting shit faced. There was nothing wrong with that.
Jeno sighed gently, his gaze focused straight ahead with both of his hands on the steering wheel in front of him. ”I know baby, but I already told them you’d be there,” he said, turning his head slightly to glance at you. “They just went through so much trouble setting all of this up and I couldn’t tell them no.”
You couldn’t help but to pout, averting your gaze elsewhere as you thought about when he would be taken away from you again later this week for filming his new MV and preparing for NCT Dream’s comeback, this time for a much longer time period. You felt like you both were wasting time here.
You listened to him sigh again, clearly being able to able to see your unhappiness before hearing his voice fill the empty space in the car, ”An hour, okay?” He questioned briefly, “Let’s just stay for an hour and I promise we’ll leave and cuddle all night.”
When you turned your head to look at him, you saw his chocolate brown eyes slightly wide and waiting for your response. ”Okay,” you finally droned as your lips quirked in a small smile, thinking about finally having him to yourself after this was all over and done with. “An hour.” You repeated.
“I love you.” He cracked a smile and grinned back at you, leaning over the center console of the car. ”Can I have a kiss?” he asked in the most adorable way, dramatically puckering his lips.
Letting your smile widen a little, you grinned brightly at his expression before leaning into him and pecking his lips softly. As you pulled away, you felt his hand on the back of your neck as he brought you back in to plant a few more sloppy, messy kisses against your lips, making you giggle, clearly unable to hold it in. “I love you, too.” You added, sucking his bottom lip before pulling away and giving him an innocent look as you batted your eyelashes at him.
”You’re gonna get it later,” He groaned against your mouth as he bit your bottom lip. ”You just wait.”
✩.･*:｡ ≻───── ⋆♡⋆ ─────.•*:｡ ✩
Just about everyone in Jeno’s family was at the party, so were the boys and just about everyone else you both knew and of course, they had to go all out, which meant renting out an entire club for the night. You were getting super anxious and could have killed someone when Mark told you — as that meant you’d have to stay a little later than planned and you just wanted Jeno for yourself already, but suppressed the need for as long as possible, talking to a few friends you haven’t seen in a while and catching up with them.
Too bad there was only one thing you could think of as time went by, and as long as you and Jeno have been apart, though it only seemed natural.
Looking down at your phone you noticed it was pushing three in the morning, and the people you were talking to seemed to be mumbling a bit like drunk idiots so you let your eyes sweep over the crowd, gently pushing through the people on the dance floor, but you didn’t see him.
All of a sudden, you felt someone pull you back against them and you immediately gasped at the hardness digging into your back, prying the unknown hands away from your hips and turned around to see exactly who you were looking for, letting out a sigh of relief. Jeno chuckled at your reaction, pushing a few fingers through your hair before leaning in to kiss you without another thought and the only thing you could think of was the taste of whiskey on his lips as his tongue hastily slipped past your lips, persuading your own to move alongside him.
Oh God, please don’t be drunk, please don’t be drunk, please don’t be drunk, you thought to yourself, the words seeming to be on repeat in your head as you really didn’t feel like cleaning up after him or having sex with him in this state. He rarely ever drank enough to get wasted, but fuck, when he did, he instantly changed into a clumsy and not to mention incredibly messy person and he also never failed to be completely turned on and horny, which wasn’t a unusual thing to be honest, but seeing as you never wanted to sleep with him in a situation where one of you wouldn’t remember it the next day, it posed as a problem.
You didn’t really get to find out how much he had to drink at that very moment because it wasn’t long before he led you off of the dance floor and up a few steps to the seemingly deserted VIP booths. You didn’t take your eyes off of him the whole time, trying to guess how many drinks he’s had by the way he stumbled or swayed, which he hadn’t done at all.
Once you sat down like he wanted you to, he slid into the booth next to you and looked down at you. Well, he didn’t look drunk as his eyes seemed to be clear.
”You wanna go home soon, baby?” he asked lightly, tucking a few locks of hair behind your ear to begin to nibble at the lobe. ”Or go to the bathroom or something?“
He didn’t sound drunk either, but he was horny. Definitely horny. That should have been a given though after feeling his hard arousal digging into your back, it was like he had a little on and off switch that you didn’t know about. Determining he was sober, you thought about what he said and furrowed your eyebrows at his suggestions. You were all for going home but, “The bathroom?” You questioned, verbalizing your thoughts as you felt his lips move towards your neck to nip and suck at the skin there, almost causing you to forget anyone was even around.
You gasped in surprise as his lips left your neck and his hands found your thighs, hoisting you up onto his lap, “Or we can just do it here.” He hummed, his fingers immediately latching onto his belt and working as quickly as ever to get it loose.
“Lee Jeno,” you quietly scolded with a laugh, placing a hand over his and looked around. “People can see you.”
Once you looked back down at him, he shook his head slowly, “It doesn’t matter, baby,” He reasoned, his tongue flickering over his lips. “Everyone’s wasted, I promise. I just…I want you so bad.”
Feeling your smile die down and your need grow an astonishing amount as he shifted his hips slightly so you could feel him slowly getting excited again. “I want you too, Jeno but—“ you began, but he cut in as his lips lingered dangerously close to your own.
“Baby…” He grumbled, biting his lip and batting his lashes as you subconsciously began moving your hips opposite of his. “Please.”
There was no way you could say no to that.
You bit your lip before letting your hands wander down to his belt buckle that he surprisingly had gotten undone by himself, and unzipped his pants, popping the button open before quickly pulling his half hard cock out while he moaned against your temple, completely under your merciful touch.
You let your breath catch in your throat when you felt his long fingers probing into your bare thighs, making the hem of your dress rise up and expose more skin, before you started to pull at his hardening erection, stroking softly while twisting your wrist the way he loved and within no time you had him lifting his hips in time with your strokes. Letting your thumb roll around the tip of his head, you smeared his pre-cum around the rest of his heated flesh, making him throw his head back as he started moaning louder, beginning to fire off curse words in Korean and English as you got his dick to curl all the way up into his abdomen. “You’re such a good girl.” He growled, bucking his hips and thrusting in your hand. “My good girl.”
There was no turning back now. He was so ready for you, and you knew he wasn’t going to stop for anyone, especially since you were starting to get just as turned on as he was.
You stopped your actions, taking another quick glance behind Jeno to see everyone still talking and dancing and close to no one were near your booth.
Feeling his fingers run up your left thigh, you looked back down at his hands to see him push your dress out of the way to come into contact with your naked pussy, causing him to shudder lightly. “Where’s your underwear, baby?” He asked, smirking a little before licking his lips and gliding his thumb across your wet folds, causing your legs to tremble as he came into contact with your overly sensitive clit. “Such a little slut, it’s only fair daddy returns the favor. Hm?”
“Fuck… please daddy,”
As soon as he felt you shiver, he began rolling his thumb over your swelling nub again and again, smearing your wetness around to lubricate his actions.
“Ugh, shit,” he grunted, his mouth finding the crook of your neck and biting lightly. “You’re so fucking wet. You wanna fuck me so bad, don’t you?” He asked, pressing a sloppy kiss on your jaw. ”Right here in the open like the whore you are, hmm?” His breath was hot on your skin as he grazed your collarbone, sending shivers down your spine.
“Yeah,” You moaned quickly as his fingers sped up, twisting and kneading your wet clit in between his skilled thumb and forefinger. “Fuck me, baby.” You purred right into his ear, and that seemed to get him. “I want you to fuck me so hard… right here, right now.”
“Tell me how much,” he groaned, taking his fingers away and lifting them to his mouth to lick the access moisture off.
Okay, so that didn’t get him…
Groaning in frustration, you pushed your own fingers against your slick nub under your dress, letting out a shaky moan as you started grinding against him subconsciously while you leaned back as much as you could against the table. He just watched you while grasping your ass with both of his large hands, eyes wide and taking in each and every detail about you doing one of his favorite things, in public no less.
“Please, daddy,” You looked up at him, offering him a lazy smirk while you shoved two fingers into your tight pussy, pretending they were one of his as he moaned down at you while grinding back against you hard. “I need you so bad.”
He groaned at your desperation, pulling you into his chest and spanking your ass. You leaned in, ghosting your lips over his ready to kiss him, but just then you both let go of each other, you letting go of yourself as well as you heard someone call out your names. You were breathing heavily, biting your lip and so was he. You both heard the person, but you never turned around, only staring each other down before he slid straight straight out of the booth with you still in his arms and stood up.
Letting your lips draw themselves to his, you impatiently shoved your tongue into his mouth as he kissed you back just as passionately, before you felt him blindly push you up against a wall, his unbelievably hard cock pulsing against your folds as he held you there. You cut the kiss short, pulling your swollen lips away from his to let out a long moan before planting them against the underside of his jaw where you began to suck. You felt his throat rumble against your lips as he moaned and staggered around, and before long, hurried past the deserted bar and towards the bathrooms. Once you finally barged in, you were both glad to see it was empty as well before he slid the heavy pad lock in place and plopped you down on the counter carelessly.
Of course the first thing you wanted to do, was to finish yourself off seeing as someone interrupted you, so you spread your legs and continued your ministrations on yourself while he continued to stare wide eyed. “Shit baby girl, that’s so fucking sexy,” he groaned, his lips grazing over yours as he began palming his leaking head roughly. “I wanna taste you so bad.” He whispered, lowering himself onto his knees to go down on you.
“No,” You quickly protested, roughly grabbing onto his messy hair, “Fuck me, Jeno.” You begged, suddenly changing your mind about finishing yourself off, you wanted him and that huge dick of his ramming you into the mirror behind you.
He didn’t listen and once his mouth came to your dripping pussy, they latched on and he seemed to suck as hard as he could while still trying to lick simultaneously and continuously hitting your g-spot.
“Oh my god....D..daddy,” you whined, your throaty and breathy sounds of pleasure echoed through the small bathroom as you arched your back and grabbed fistfuls of his hair, roughly pulling it. “Fuck, you’re so good at this.” Jeno moaned at the painful yet pleasurable sensation, sending vibrations throughout your entire body. He loved it when you pulled his hair whenever he went down on you, and more than anything, he loved when you praised him.
“You’re dripping everywhere baby, fuck.” His tongue plunged deeper inside you, lapping up your wetness, but it seemed as if you were producing more than he could clean up, causing it to drip down his jaw. “All for me?” He questioned, biting your thigh as he added two fingers and thrusted them in and out of you.
“Yes daddy, all for you.” You nearly screamed when he angled your hips and spat on your pussy, the dirty action making you whimper pitifully and your pussy clench. You felt yourself tense up as his tongue moved over your clit in precise movements, suddenly starting to flick over it faster and you convulsed, giving into your first orgasm of the night just as quickly as it was brought on.
“Jenooooooo,” You moaned as you withered in pure ecstasy against his mouth, letting out a long, drawn-out moan as you felt your intense orgasm washing over you. You shuddered when you saw his eye darken as he let you ride out your orgasm by vigorously fingering you and sucking on your clit, leaving your legs weak and your eyes blurry. His eyes drank in the sight of you squirming and biting your lip so hard, enough to draw blood.
“You’re so fucking sexy.” He growled, “And all mine.”
You uncurled your toes before he pulled away and ventured back up to your lips, nipping at them for a moment, driving you completely insane before finally kissing you full on, sharing the taste of yourself and the wetness he had accumulated around his mouth, but you could care less. You were still as horny as you’d ever been and you’d take whatever he gave you.
You licked your lips as he pulled away, but followed his mouth, kissing him several more times around his lips to get all of your cum off, you knew he liked that. You could tell by the way he roughly drug you from the counter top before you landed on the floor in front of him, causing your lips to separate from his chin.
He turned you around, lifting your dress and you knew what was coming next. You moaned as he pulled the thin straps of your dress down your shoulders and pulled your breasts out, kneading and massaging them at once. You bent over the counter, looking up at his reflection in the mirror as his fingers began rolling your nipples, his thumbs and index fingers starting to pinch lightly at the buds and soon he brought his head down to your body and maneuvered around so that his mouth could meet your left one.
He flicked it with his tongue a few times before you started grinding back against his lower half, trying to get him going. He groaned into your soft flesh as you tried to get your breathing to calm down a bit before he leaned back again, his fingers never leaving your mounds until you turned around and climbed back onto the roomy counter and spread your legs open for him.
“You want my cock?” He gently felt up and down your core a few more times before probing inside of you, savoring the feel of your tight walls wrapped around his fingers as you whined for him to just do it already. “You want me to fuck you, huh?” He questioned bluntly, his nose pressing against your hot skin as he peppered your neck with messy kisses, before looking at you again. “You want my hard dick jammed into this beautiful little pussy?”
Even though he was really turning you on, he was also starting to push it. If he would have waited any longer to stop and talk dirty to you, you probably would have gotten angry, but you felt like maybe you could hold out a bit longer, so you just answered him, telling him what he wanted to hear. ”Yes baby.” You moaned, “Please. I need you so bad.”
You whimpered loudly as he began to scissor you, feeling around with those strong fingers of his as he spoke again, ”Tell me how you want it, Y/N.” He pleaded, moaning along with you at the feel of your juices causing his fingers to slip.
You shuddered lightly as you felt his fingers brush roughly against that one spot deep inside of you and looked down to see him down to the knuckle as his other hand held you upper thigh.
That’s when you crumbled and figured out you couldn’t wait any longer. ”Jeno, just do it,” you ordered, “Fuck me hard. Please daddy.”
”Mmmh…“ He moaned, your guess was that he was trying to agree with you, before he finally obeyed, grabbing your thighs and plunging into you for the first time in too long.
You immediately buried your fingers into his messy hair and listened as he moaned against the skin of your neck as he plunged inside of you again and again, each stroke more powerful than the last. You raked your nails down his back making him groan and thrust harder as you let a loud moan escape your lips.
His lips eventually roamed back up to your mouth, claiming it again while angling his hips differently every time he reentered you, desperately searching for the spot that he had just found with his fingers.
Once you finally felt the hard tip of his dick brush against it, you dropped your mouth open in a silent scream as you began to shake. Since you haven’t had sex in quite a while and you haven’t found the time to take care of your needs yourself, the pleasure you felt as he started pounding into you harder and faster, hitting your spot dead on every time, was intensified more than you could have ever imagined.
“Jeno,“ You gasped as he pulled you off of the counter again just to slam you against the wall next to the door you came from and continued to fuck you, never missing a beat. “Mmmh f…fuck, s..so close.“ You stuttered.
“You gonna cum again? That fast?” He grunted, “Greedy little whore.”
Throwing your head back, you began winding your hips in time with his thrusts, which finally got him to let out a loud moan. You were sure if anyone was standing around the bathroom or even the bar at the time, they’d be able to hear you.
“Please, can I cum?”
“You want my cum in you?” He breathed, making you nod.
His cock had genuinely rendered you speechless and he knew this. “I... Oh my g..god...Please, daddy, please please please.”
“Fuck,” He finally replied with another grunt. “I’m c..cumming, baby.” His fingers dug into your thighs as his grip loosened momentarily and he hoisted you back up his body, losing the rhythm for just a second before quickly finding it again. You buried your face in his hair, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck as you literally screamed out his name before feeling him swell inside of you, which got you to start convulsing again.
You felt his stomach muscles tighten against your own before he whimpered and let himself go, shooting his warm cum inside of you as you clutched onto each other.
When it was all over, you were both breathing heavily and you felt your body relax, but you still couldn’t let go of him.
He ran his fingers through your hair as you listened to his breathing calm down, “Sorry, I just couldn’t wait until we got home.“ He sighed into your hair, placing a peck against the side of your neck before pulling away to look into your eyes.
“It’s okay,“ You replied before letting him place another peck against your lips, “It’s just another place to add to our list.” You giggled, lacing your fingers in his hair.
He let out a loud chuckle, laughing at you before kissing you one last time and you allowed yourself to unwrap your legs from his torso, almost falling over because of how weak they were, but he caught you just in time.
“How about we go home now birthday girl,” he suggested, his arms securing themselves around your waist as you worked to pull his pants back up after tucking him back into them. “I was thinking about making you a caaake.” He sang, as if the thought of home didn’t already sound appealing enough right now.
“Yeah? What kind?” you asked, trying to hold back a grin.
“Chocolate.” He replied almost immediately, knowing that was your absolute favorite.
You let your grin finally spread across your face as you spoke again, “Okayyyyy,” you said, stretching out the word, “But I think you might have to carry me. I don’t think I can walk properly.”
He swiftly moved one hand from your waist to your legs as he scooped you into his arms, before smiling. “I missed you.“ He cooed before kissing you again and turning around to face the door. “Happy birthday, my beautiful baby.”
”I missed you too, Jeno.”
✩.･*:｡ ≻───── ⋆♡⋆ ─────.•*:｡ ✩
taglist: @sunshine-skz @aedreamzy @bockhyun @infnteen @queenrachelpink @melaninjhs @subhyuck @plushjeno @tangledbutterflies @painted-hills @jenyongcas @stopitvpls @mint--yoongs @tyongtyongie @babyphattt @lyleo @misschubswrites @haechanswhore @leftcatpizza
can i request for virgin y/n x rough sex jaehyun 😫
genre: smut and fluff
a/n: oh my, I totally forgot that the anon wanted virgin sex until I reread it after finishing the story, IM SO SORRY ANON! i clearly didn’t remember that, I’m so sorry!
It was Christmas Day and Jaehyun had invited you to spend Christmas with him and his family. You accepted his offer and went this him to his parents house where all his family members were there.
Once you and jaehyun arrived, you were taken out of jaehyuns arms. His mother had brought you around to his relatives and introduced you to them while jaehyun stayed by the kids. He watched as you got shy and nervous with a wide and toothy grin.
“Oh, I can help out with dinner—!” Jaehyuns mother laughs and shakes her head. “That won’t be needed, dear. We have cooks who cook our food.” You nodded as she shook your hand. “Oop, the Parks are here, I must go greet them.” She says and walks away leaving you there by yourself.
“You must be y/n, correct?” You turn to the voice behind you. “Oh, yes. Who must you be?” She slightly rolls her eyes. “I, I am Jaehyun’s ex girlfriend. The names Hoya Park.” You let out a confused noise. “Well, it’s nice to meet you Hoya. I’ll see you at the dinner table.” You quickly end the conversation and walk away to find jaehyun.
“Y/n,” jaehyun calls for you from behind. “Oh, jae.” You sigh in relief and walk towards him. “Was looking for you, baby.” He hugs you. “I was looking for you mister. I bumped into someone while doing so.” He hums and asks who it was. “Hoya. Hoya Park.” Jaehyun hums again. “Didn’t think she’d be invited to the Christmas party.” He shrugs his broad shoulders.
“Oh, they’re calling us for dinner, baby. Let’s go.” He undoes the hug and holds your hand instead. He drags you to the table were he pulled a chair out for you and then sat next to you.
You smiled at Hoya when she decided to sit in front of you and jaehyun. She smile back but only for a quick second.
“Alright everyone! I’d like to make a speech!” Jaehyuns dad announced and everyone went silent, including the kids.
“I’d like to thank everyone for coming. I know how hard the snow was to drive through but thank you for making it. I’d also like to announce that my sons fiancé, Lee y/n. Our son announced the marriage a few weeks back so everyone please congratulate him when you find the time to. Merry Christmas folks, enjoy tonight’s dinner which, thanks to our cooks back there. Merry Christmas, alright?!” Everyone starts to laugh as they lift their champagne glasses.
As everyone digs in, music starts to play. It was a soft and slow music, just like the ones at restaurants.
“So y/n,” you lift your head when someone calls for your name. “over here, dear.” You look at the person who called at your name. “Oh, yes?” The person almost laughs when he saw your confused face. “What do you work as? Like, a company worker or?” You sit up, almost all eyes are on you.
“I’m a nurse. I work at the NEO’s hospital, it’s kind of far from here.” The man grunts. “You work in a hospital with sick people? I was expecting you to be a CEO like my daughter here, she’s very successful and owns two buildings, isn’t that right Hoya?” Hoya giggles and nods while covering her mouth.
“A pretty girl like you shouldn’t be working in a hospital with sick people. Hoya would definitely hire you as an intern.” You clear your throat and bring your hands underneath the table as they start to shake from embarrassment.
Jaehyun notices and he brings his hand down underneath the table and finds yours. He holds your hand and looks at you. “Hey, look at me.” He whispers which you listen and look at him. He rubs your hand with his hand and gives you a comforting smile.
“Y’know, uncle,” jaehyun speaks up. “y/n doesn’t need a job like Hoya. She’s following her dreams into being a nurse, you always tell your kids to follow their dreams so let y/n follow hers, alright? It doesn’t matter if she’s working as a nurse, let her be.” Hoyas father clenched his jaw and huffs.
Dinner was over and you left to use the bathroom. You washed and then dried your hands. When leaving the bathroom, you opened the door to Hoya standing there.
“A nurse? How pathetic. Jaehyun deserves someone hard working like me, not some lame pathetic sore nurse like you. Get a real job.” She goes to turn around but stops. “And,” she turns and faces you.
“jaehyun will be mine again. Just watch and see, I’ll lure him back into my trap just like I did back then. He’s gonna leave you for me, why wouldn’t he, look at me, im stunning and I have a real job. He doesn’t want some lowlife like you. Same goes for that ugly dress you’re wearing, you look fat, and I bet you used jaehyuns money to buy it. Let me guess, you’re using him for his money, huh. I knew it, can’t wait to tell him.” She laughs and walks away.
You go to find jaehyun who’s busy laughing with the grown adults. “Jae, jae, jaehyun!” You call out to the man who turns and smiles when seeing you. “Ill be back, hold on.” He turns away from the conversation and walks over to you.
“Jae, I wanna go home, please?” You hugged your stomach. “What’s wrong, baby? Did the food hurt your tummy?” You shake your head. “I just,” you sigh. “just wanna leave early, please?” He frowns a bit. “We haven’t even gotten to the presents, baby?” He takes your hand and holds it. “Please?” He looks back at the elders and then back at you.
“Okay, but first let me let the elders know that we’re leaving and then we can go, okay?” You nod and he shakes your hand and walks away to let the elders know.
It took a few minutes for jaehyun to let everyone know that you and him were leaving.
As you and jaehyun drove home, he starts to question you. “Why’d you wanna leave, baby? Did something happen? Did someone make you upset? Did the food make your tummy hurt? What’s wrong?” He asks while rubbing your thigh. “It was just, just Hoya. She said some things to me and it.. hurt me.” He glances at you.
“What’d she say, baby?” You sigh, remembering the words she said to you.
“First she called me pathetic for working as a nurse and that it wasn’t even a real job— which it is, I help people and that’s serious. She then goes to tell me how you deserve someone hard working like her which is just, no because I am hard working. Then after that she says how she’s gonna win you back and make you fall in love with her again which is complete bullshit because you sir, are engaged to me.” You point to your chest and he laughs.
“Yes I am, and plus, I am very much in love with you.” You whine when he pinches your thigh. “You little shit, that hurt.” He laughs and then tells you to continue.
“After she said that she was gonna luring you into her stupid love trap, she called me a lowlife and said that I was only using you for your money which is so untrue because I work and make my own money. Oh, she called the dress that your mom picked out, ugly. Can you believe that? I think the dress looks gorgeous.” Jaehyun scoffs.
“That dress is beautiful but it’s more beautiful with you wearing it, although I’d love to take it off of you.” You laugh at his cheeky like.
“Oh, and then she called me fat.” Jaehyun gasps and starts laughing. “I know she did not insult my future wife. She came into my home, well, my old home but, she came into my old home and decided to insult my future wife? Just because she’s skinny doesn’t mean she can be fatphobic. That’s so disrespectful, I’m so sorry, baby.” You shake your head. “I don’t need an apology from you, baby. I need one from her, she said it and caused this hurt.”
“But yeah, that’s why I wanted to leave so early. I’m sorry.” Jaehyun says a quick line of no’s and glances at you again before focusing on the snow covered road. “Don’t apologize, baby. I completely understand.”
“Oh, jae!” You squeal as he spanks your ass. “What, baby? taking my cock like a good girl? I think yes.” He says with a cooing tone. “Mhm, ‘ma good girl.” He nods agreeing with you. “Yes you are, you’re a very good girl.” He praises.
“A very good girl but a dirty fucking slut for sure.” He spanks you again making you sob aloud. “I’m a dirty s—slut?” Jaehyun nods and then pulls you up by the hair. “A dirty slut who takes whatever I give her.” He says and slips his arm under your armpit before using his hand to choke you.
“J—jae, im, im cumming!” You whine, body bouncing off of his from his thrusts. “Imcumming!imcumming!” Jaehyuns roots for you, whispering tiny chants which translate to, “cum for me, cum for me.”
As you reach your climax, your whole body gives you and falls forward out of jaehyuns hold and onto the fluffy pillows.
Jaehyun chuckles at you while tiny moans still murmured from you. Your body was so limp but your hips stayed up for jaehyuns cock.
“‘M cumming, baby. You gonna take all of it like a good girl for me?” Your voice that had completely given out on you whispered a hoarsely, ‘yes’.
It takes him a few minutes to reach his high where he then releases his load into you. “s—so warm..” you whimpered in a tired tone. Jaehyun slowly pulls out to watch his cum slip out of your hole before pushing it back in with his two slender fingers.
He covers back up with his cum covered and taps on the bottom of your lips which notified you to open wide. “Open up for me, baby.” You dropped your jaw and open your mouth for him. He then sticks the cum covered fingers in your mouth and then let’s you lick his fingers clean.
“See, you’ll take anything i give you.” He says and uses his thumb to rub your cheek. “Let’s get you cleaned up, pretty girl.” He says and lifts you off the bed. “Jae,” you called out in a sleepy tone. “Yes, baby?” He answered and walked into the bathroom.
“Is the dress okay? Your mom spent a lot on it.” He chuckles and shrugs. “I probably ripped it while I was eagerly tearing it off you.” He laughs which you didn’t. “Jae, it was a really nice dress. ‘Could’ve saved it for our future kid.” Jaehyun sets you on the counter and goes to start the shower.
“Sorry, baby. Told you that I’d like to take it off you.” He says with a slight smirk that you could hear, along with the water pressure from the shower hitting the tiles.
❧ Anon asked: Reguest: giggly and fun sex with Jaehyun in his dorm bedroom. Not even sex, just touching and making out. You’re both very horny And you guys are all giggly cuz you aren’t allowed to make any noises since all the boys are home but then one of them walks in, which makes Y/N and Jaehyun all shy 😭💕🥺🙏
❧ Genre: suggestive but no smut
❧ Words: 601
❧ Warnings: making out, slight marking
❧ Synopsis: All you wanted was a little private time with your boyfriend but of course, it couldn’t be that easy.
❧ A/N: this is dedicated to @itsjeonghananon who’s been slowly developing a Jaehyun bias
~※ Main Masterlist ※~
Your lips moved in sync with Jaehyun’s. His hands held onto your hips tightly keeping you seated on his lap. You rocked your hips trying to get some sort of friction. Soft groans and grunts left both of your lips between kisses. Your nails left small crescent shapes in the skin of his shoulder. You pulled away briefly to pull off his shirt exposing his toned torso. You stared at his abs for what may have been a bit too long but neither of you really minded. A hand cupped your cheek tilting your face back up to look at Jaehyun. He stared at you with lust in his eyes. You loved it. You let him pulled you back in for another heated kiss, your chests pressing up against each other.
A loud bang pulled you out of your lustful entanglement. The sounds of talking and laughter flooded your ears. You let out a long groan as you pulled away from Jaehyun.
“They’re back early,” Jaehyun rasped
“Yeah,” you huffed, “Too early.”
He let out a little chuckle at the pout on your lips. His arm wrapped around your waist tightly and in one swift motion flipped you onto your back. A small gasp escaped your lips at the sudden movement. You peered up at your boyfriend, his gaze still lustful as he stared down at you. He tucked his face into the crook of your neck and left little pecks on the side of your neck. Soon he was leaving large open mouthed kisses all along your neck. You squirmed under him.
“What if they hear us?”
“If you’re quiet, they won’t hear us,” he whispered in your ear
His hand snuck under your shirt, his warm fingers ghosting over your skin. His hand slowly moved up your side pushing your shirt up along with it. His lips nipped and sucked on the skin of your neck leaving little marks littered on your skin. Small gasps and whimpers spilled out of your mouth despite how you tried to keep quiet.
Eventually, Jaehyun pulled your shirt off and began trailing kisses down your neck towards your chest. Your fingers were tangled up in his hair gently tugging at the dark strands. You were so lost in bliss that you didn’t hear the footsteps coming towards the bedroom. The door swung open making you and Jaehyun look up with wide eyes. Standing in the doorway was Jungwoo who looked at the two of you with the same look of shock on his face. He didn’t say anything. He just closed the door and headed back out into the living room where the rest of the members were.
“Oh my god...”
You looked up at Jaehyun. His face was bright red (and you were sure your face was just as red). Neither of you said anything but you knew you were both mortified. Jaehyun hid his face in the crook of your neck.
“I don’t think I can face him every again.”
“You don’t really have a choice,” you giggled
“I bet he already told the others.”
“I highly doubt that,” you stroked his hair, “You think the members wouldn’t tease the hell out of him for walking in on us?”
He hovered over you again staring down at you. He gave you a sweet kiss on the lips before letting out a small sigh.
“I guess we should go out there?”
“Absolutely not. I refused to face any of those people,” you shook your head, “They’re gonna make fun of us.”
“Fine,” Jaehyun chuckled as he cuddled up to you, “We can stay here.”
pairing: boyfriend Jeno x girlfriend reader
warnings: unprotected sex (y/n is on pill), public sex, library sex, dirty talk, creampie
Jeno is your genius but not-so-innocent boyfriend who definitely aces all his classes, a teacher's pet and everyone see him as the "good boy" type of guy but only you can see the other side of him.
He can also be that kind of boyfriend who can definitely drag you to the secluded part of the library during your lunch break. He's a very horny person but only for you.
"You made me so hard by wearing that short skirt of yours, baby" he whispered while massaging your ass. You're facing his back and he's grinding his hard big dick in your ass.
Not up for even a foreplay, he drags your panty down while taking his cock out of his school pants.
"Oh you stretch me so well, Jeno" you moan as you feel him getting inside of you.
"Fuck yeah you're so tight doll" he whispers as he bite your ear while massaging your breast. You didn't even realized that your blouse is now unbutton.
You're both in a hurry to release before the lunch break ends. So he started to fuck you hard and rough from the back which earns a loud gasps and moans from you.
"Hush it down, doll. We're in a library" you can definitely see his smirk as you look back and yes he's mocking you. He knows how loud you can be so he drag you into a kiss.
"I am the only one allowed to hear that loud moans of yours" while you two are kissing messily.
You're trying to hold yourself up as Jeno starts speeding up as he fucks you deep, rough and hard.
"Fuck. This tight pussy's only mine" he said while broking the kiss and hold your hips as he felt you clenched around him.
"You like it, doll? You like me fucking you inside the library where everyone can see us hmm? What a bad girl huh" his words are making you come faster.
"Jeno shit I'm cumming please don't stop" you moan loudly not even caring if anyone can hear you at this state.
"Yes, doll. Come for me. Cream my dick. Make a mess in me fuck" and you did. You came so fucking much as your moans are muffled on Jeno's hands that is on your mouth.
"I am cumming inside of you, baby. You will take it all and let it drip out of you until our classes ends" still fucking your senstive pussy from behind.
Three thrusts and you feel him cumming inside of you.
It took a while for him to take his still-hard dick out of your pussy. You face him and kissed passionately.
"You did so well, y/n. I love you so much" he said that made you smile.
"I love you more, Jeno" you both fixed yourselves and heard the bell rings. A sign that the lunch break is done.
a/n: my first ever short smut. how was it?? :) hope y'all like it!
- it's A 🦋
roommates | Jung Jaehyun
-and they were roommates 😧 this smut ft jungwoo but it’s main focus is jaehyun and reader lolz enjoy!!
warnings: afab!reader, jaehyun!reader, dirty talk, a pinch of begging, public, jungwoo and reader smooches a bit
“jaehyun we can't,” you practically moaned, gripping on his biceps as his hands traveled down your stomach “what’s stopping us?” he stopped for a sec to look at you “um” you pointed at his roommate jungwoo sound asleep in his bed.
he smacked his teeth at your hands now messing with your clit. you gasped softly grabbing at his wrist trying to hold it in place “baby— he’s right at the foot of the bed” you tried to protest jaehyun ignoring you pushing your shorts down “get on all fours”
you quickly rushed to get on all fours jaehyun laughing at your eagerness. “i think you like the thought of being caught by jungwoo huh baby” “w-what no'' “oh really?” you could feel the smirk on his face as he rubbed his length between your folds ``then tell me to stop” you whined at jaehyun still teasing your folds making you glance back at him “please fuck me jae i can’t take it”
that’s all it took for him to push his cock deep inside your cunt making you let out a long moan immediately slapping your hand across your mouth. jaehyun’s thrust was fast and rough, making the bed creek each thrust he made almost like he was trying to wake jungwoo up. “mm jaehyun?” you heard a low mumble coming from in front of you.
you bit down on your lip even harder reaching for jaehyun’s shirt signaling to him jungwoo was awake. “jaehyun?” he called again wiping the sleep from his eyes before properly sitting up eyes nearly popping from his head as he watched jaehyun fuck you senseless in front of him. your moans begin to slip from your lips freely closing your eyes in embarrassment.
“my dirty baby i knew you wanted his attention” jaehyun leaned down to kiss your lips before looking up at jungwoo making eye contact with him as he fucked you. “my baby wanted you to catch us, jungwoo.” you shook your head no jaehyun pulled you up by your hair making you look directly at jungwoo.
“jaehyun- p-please” you didn’t know what you were begging him for you felt so good and turned by the fact your boyfriend roommate was watching you get fucked. “what is it, baby? hm? tell me what you want” “kiss me- please” you stuttered out watching him smile down at you before looking up at jungwoo “come kiss her woo” jungwoo didn’t hesitate to lean over and kiss your lips roughly you didn’t care either.
you struggled to kiss him back as you felt your orgasm approaching. jaehyun felt you clenching around him making him groan “tell him you like him watching you baby” you felt a sharp slap to your ass as you tried to get your words out resting your forehead against jungwoo’s “i like- when you watch us fuck woo god i love it” you whined feeling your orgasm hit you shaking slightly as jaehyun shot his cum inside you making you both sigh at the feeling.
jaehyun leaned forward pressing a sloppy kiss to your lips asking if you were okay before pressing a kiss to your forehead this time. “hey woo are you— holy shit did you cum in your pants?” jaehyun asked, pointing at the stain on his sweats jungwoo covering it with a pillow. “fuck off jae leave him alone” you kissed jungwoo’s cheek making him smile before leaning to his ear whispering “thanks for making me cum”
jaehyun + 🖤 + “You know I’m holding back from fucking you over this kitchen counter, don’t push your luck.”/“I won’t apologise for marking you up, everyone should know you’re taken.”
combining this with an earlier request! (“you pissed me off today darling. you’re aware of that, right?”) thank u to tokyo rev fics for so much inspo LMFAOO. excuse me if there’s mistakes, wrote this in 45 min b4 class 😭
warnings: set in the 90s, mechanic!jaehyun, gang member!jaehyun, mean dom!jaehyun, rough sex, hair pulling, semi-public sex, oral (m receiving), blowjob, deep-throating, face-fucking, degradation, praise, clit stimulation, vaginal penetration, unprotected sex, breeding/creampie, N//SFW UNDER THE CUT
jaehyun meets your eyes, levelled and calm, but he’s anything but. you know it in how his finger curls around your waist. you would’ve done anything! fight back, use your words, but it didn’t help that he has you pinned down tightly to the roof of your car. your breathing is the only thing you can hear in the garage, where tools were, tires lay, stuff that you weren’t too knowledgeable about.
jaehyun changed all that, though. he was pretty passionate about cars and all that, but the one thing that stole his heart always had been motorcycles. he could go on and on, speaking to you easily as he changed the settings on his bike or replaced a part effortlessly. it was a given, though, considering he was part of the Seocho-gu gang, infamous for ruling a good portion of Seoul
“you pissed me off today darling. you’re aware of that, right?” and while you’d like to fake your memory, you were the star of the show just earlier, where your hair’s tangled in between your fingers, flirting your ass off just so you could get the customer to pay higher. he didn’t particularly dislike your action of dishonesty, but the way you stood — how your form screamed submissive with breasts perked up and hands roaming over the other’s body — made the other’s blood boil.
even the extra $200 in repairs that you managed to coax out of the other didn’t matter that much, smirking at the way your cheek is smushed against the money.
“what’s wrong, doll? not feeling so confident now?” jaehyun grinds his groin into your ass, ignoring your moans of when his bulges brushes against your clothed clit. oh, and it didn’t help that you chose to wear the shortest skirt, either. bending over to take the wrench, reaching over the counter to get the cash out of the register, those were just some things that jaehyun remembers before he waited for the customer to leave, flustered, no doubt.
“get up,” he pulls on your hair with a grim undertone to his voice, forcing you down wordlessly before he hurriedly unbuckles his pants. “you’re going to suck on this cock until i let you breathe.”
you’re not a stranger to jaehyun when he gets jealous, and you’re lying if you said it didn’t get you a little bit wet. embarrassing, but you don’t have time to mull it over because your boyfriend’s already sticking his length down your throat, causing you to choke.
“that’s it, slut, take it,” jaehyun groans, sinking into your warm, inviting mouth that takes him in easily. you start to bob your head, and each time your nose meets his pelvis bone as you take his heavy, hardened cock. swirling your tongue, you will yourself to breathe through your nose the deeper you go and your hands reach up to play with his balls.
“ohh... fuck, for an awfully disobedient whore, y-you suck dick beautifully,” jaehyun groans, a hand going up to bundle your hair into a ponytail while the other supports your head. “but you’re doing it too slow.”
your eyes widen when he holds your head in place, hips thrusting in and out of your mouth like an animal. with jaw hanging, it was starting to get sore, but you were obsessed with his thick length moving in and out that you only moan around it needily, sending vibrations and shudders at your enjoyment. you think he’s about to cum when he stills his hips right at the hilt, but you pulled off of his shaft in a blur, trapped in the same earlier position.
“good girl, wanna cum in you, though,” jaehyun grunts, ripping your underwear off in blind rage, but everything happens so fast: your disappointment at yet another pair being ruined by his hand, his tip teasing your entrance, the fabric stuffed into your mouth. strangely, it doesn’t weird you out as much when you taste the wet patch that’s formed on it, used to jaehyun’s fingers in your mouth right after he fingers you.
he was just too impatient today.
jaehyun enters impatiently, too, hips meeting yours in a flurry before he starts to move, prompting endless moans out of your stuffed mouth. you sound just like a bitch in heat, body moving back onto his to catch each hammer of his cock into you.
“hnn, fuck, baby, your hole’s still perfect as always,” his face is buried in your neck, mumbling shit into it that you can’t make out. since his fat cock always impales you so good, your mind switches off, every form of understanding lost to the way you can you feel every ridge and vein on his cock, “wanna stay in this pretty pussy all day, whatd’ya say?”
you whine at his proposition, manhandled by jaehyun easily in the garage — the proof is there. your hair is unkempt and your cunt is dripping all over his length right down to his balls, making the delicious sounds of his groin pistoning right into yours.
“f-fuck, princess, can i breed your tight, little cunt? can i?” jaehyun bites down on your neck right after, drawing a whimper out of you, grasping at the hood of the car desperately and his words affect you, greatly. nodding, you babble and drool all over the panties in your mouth, barely making out, “yes! wan’ all your cum in me, fill me up, fill me up!”
jaehyun smiles, continuing his assault on your neck, sucking and biting and licking to the point of bruising, all the while getting fucked senseless on the hood of your car. he’s close, you know, but your clit feels neglected that you have to reach down to rub at it. “such a dirty slut, rubbing her clit, my cock not enough for you?”
your boyfriend has it in him to tease, but tired to do anything, he just continues to mark your neck, groaning and moaning into your ear until he reaches that spot. jaehyun stills, shivering as his tip spurts out hot, white cum deep into your womb. the sensation is intoxicating, and it makes you scream out his name, cumming right after. you gush all over his length, juices flowing right down to the floor. jaehyun hums, satisfied at breeding you again, like he doesn’t do it all the time.
“was i too rough, baby?” jaehyun whispers, removing the panties gently. shaking you head, you give him a small smile, but not before you spot yourself in the heart locket necklace you gave him. your neck is black and blue, hickeys everywhere that before you open your mouth to protest, jaehyun says something that makes your heart flutter and cheeks warm.
“i won’t apologise for marking you up, everyone should know you’re taken.”
EVENT CLOSED (thank you!)
JJH | 𝙄'𝙈 𝙉𝙊𝙏 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙊𝙉𝙇𝙔 𝙊𝙉𝙀
SUMMARY ▸ jaehyun has made a lot of mistakes in his life, but he knew this time, he really fucked up.
PAIRING/CHARACTERS ▸ jaehyun x fem reader
GENRE/CATEGORY ▸ angst, smut, marriage!au, cheating!au, non-idol!au, song fic
WORD COUNT ▸ 6.8k [~25 mins]
CONTENT WARNING ▸ 18+, fingering, unprotected sex (wrap it b4 u tap it!), shower sex, cheating, profanity, mentions alcohol, mentions miscarriage, y/n is unaware that she’s pregnant, mentions divorce, mentions medical procedure, mentions blood, mentions pregnancy.
GELA SAYS ▸ reminder, before proceeding to this story, please do not read if you’re uncomfortable with the topic or heavy theme (read the warnings!). you have been warned. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. this is by far my longest fic, i worked on this for months and to the anon who requested this, i hope u like this ! this also has a part 2, but the publish date is still indefinite as i’m still working on it. if there are any offensive or wrong parts, please let me know! i’ll immediately edit them or delete the part. thank you and enjoy!
TAGLIST | @chitaphrrrr @ukiyoneo @yunodaze @silent-potato @hwangful @httpjeongjaes @lune1897 @paolandotcom @yasmini24 @frickyratz @ahsshilee-me @trustmahluv @jaehyunsjasmine
song used as inspiration: i’m not the only one by sam smith.
Jeong Jaehyun is his name.
Jeong Jaehyun is the man you have loved since you were nineteen.
Who would’ve thought that two freshmen students in the huge campus of Korea University with thousands of students, would eventually end up together? The two of you share a limitless amount of memories, both sad and happy memories that will be forever cherished. And today, the two of you will create a new one.
The moment you walked down the aisle, wearing the dress you have always dreamed of since you were young and the necklace that every woman in your family wore during their wedding starting from your great, great grandmother. Having your friends and family watch you with teary eyes and smiles written on their faces, and your father, who always protected his little girl and promised that no one in this world will love his precious daughter more than him.
At the end of the aisle, stands the love of your life.
The man you will promise to go through thick and thin,
The father of your future children,
And the person who will be your lifetime partner and best friend.
“Take care of my only baby girl, Jaehyun.” Was the last thing your father said to the groom before letting you go.
“I will, sir.” He replied, smiling as he held your hand, guiding you to another step in front of the altar.
Throughout the whole ceremony, Jaehyun looks at you as if it was the first time he’s seen you. Like the first time he spilled coffee on your white shirt during freshman orientation several years ago. Hearts were shown in his eyes, yet you could tell that he was nervous, his eyes were bright red which you found cute. Who would’ve thought that the man who was so confident presenting his work to other people would be so nervous in front of your whole family?
His vows were personally written by him. Unlike the modern way of making vows which were typed and read through phones, Jaehyun wrote his on a two-page scented paper. He started with the story of how you met, how you managed to stay strong throughout the years as a couple, thanking you for staying through ups and downs. And of course, it ended with the traditional “I love you, for better or for worse. ‘Til death do us part.”
You shed a tear which he carefully wiped, not wanting to ruin your perfect makeup. Six years together, and ever since you became official, you knew he was the one. Your vows were pretty much the same, lightening the mood when you told the story of how Jaehyun almost shat his pants when he found out you came from a very influential and wealthy family. You thanked him for staying by your side throughout the years. He never left and not once had thought of leaving.
Jeong Jaehyun is his name, and starting today, you will conquer the world together.
This year marks your fourth year as Mister and Missus and a decade as a couple. The year most people say couples start to be fed up with each other after years of being together and would peak the risk of divorce. To commemorate the memorable ten years, you decided to throw a party. Exclusive to friends and family to share this special moment with you. You took a week off work to prepare along with your mom and mother-in-law. This event was held at the townhouse, the one your grandparents gave you on your wedding day as they wanted their only granddaughter to live a comfortable life.
The past four years as a married couple were indeed memorable.
Jaehyun has established his own company and became one of the most famous tech companies in the country. Zetta Tech was built with Jaehyun’s blood, sweat and tears. Without you, he wouldn’t be able to achieve his life-long dream. You played a big role in his life.
Expensive wine, catered food and various decorations were all neatly placed by the staircase. Everything was perfect – just the way you wanted it.
“Go ahead and doll up. The visitors will be here any minute now.” Your mom said, planting a kiss on your temple before pushing you to the master’s bedroom.
You entered the huge bedroom, passing by the bed and went to the shared walk-in closet. The dress you wore was from Alexander McQueen; the rose midi dress that Jaehyun got you for your birthday this year, partnered with a pair of Louboutin pumps. A smile creeps on your face when you heard the bedroom door open.
“Hi baby, happy anniversary.” He planted a kiss on your lips, feeling his soft ones – it felt like you were kissing for the first time again. “Happy anniversary, gorgeous.”
“Go wash up and wear the tuxedo I prepared for you. We already have guests downstairs, so please, move fast.”
A decade together and you were so used on tying his tie for him. Like those scenes from romantic movies. “There you go, Mr. Jeong.” You smile, running your fingers through the fabric of his tuxedo.
The visitors cheer as soon as you walk down the staircase, most of them are from your friends. Clinking their wine glasses with silverware, some even shouted ‘kiss!’ as if you were newlyweds. You giggled but did it anyway. Jaehyun wanted to impress the crowd, twirling you around as soon as you got down and catching your back before connecting his lips to yours. Like how a Disney prince would kiss his princess, earning a loud cheer from the crowd.
The party was fun. Though the number of people congratulating you every minute of the night was countless and having to thank them, you were happy. Throughout the night, Jaehyun was by your side, being the loving and obedient husband he was.
“Y/N honey, it’s been four years since you got married… have you thought about having kids?” His grandmother asked, it was so sudden that Jaehyun choked on the wine he was drinking. You rubbed his back and asked if he was okay, at the same time, his phone rang.
“Sorry, I have to take this. Work stuff.” He excused, peeling himself away from you and walked away.
“Oh, about that. We haven’t really talked about it. We’re both busy with work, but we’re finding the right time.” You answered, watching your husband walk away with his phone attached to his ear.
“Honey, I would love to see my great grandbabies soon. It would be better if you two start to plan a family before it’s too late. Trust me, there is no right time.”
When the party ended, all you wanted to do was spend the rest of the night with your husband. Enjoy a bottle of your most expensive and oldest wine, then have sex. The words of his grandmother got into your head. She was right, there is no right time. The thought of having a small version of you and Jaehyun running around this house puts a smile on your face and sends butterflies to your stomach. When your husband was in the shower, you made sure to wear the blue silk chemise that your husband loves the most. It was one of his wedding gifts for you along with a gold necklace. You even sprayed his favorite perfume and the moment you heard the shower go off, you immediately jumped to the bed and posed seductively.
“Who the fuck is calling at this hour?” Your murmur, grabbing his phone that was vibrating on the bedside table.
Apparently, a person named Claire does.
Your eyebrows furrowed when you saw a bunch of notifications flood his lock screen and one message caught your attention – ‘wearing your favorite lingerie. I miss you.’ Shocked, you dropped the phone on the bed and stood up. Was he cheating on you? Who was this ‘Claire’ and why was she messaging your husband at 1 in the morning?
“Someone is wearing my favorite lingerie.” He whispered, followed by a lustful kiss on your shoulder. You felt his arms snake around your waist, wanting to remove the garment off you.
You sighed and shook your head, “Jaehyun, stop.”
“I’m trying to… you know, get my lovely wife in the mood.” He replied, pushing the strands of hair that was covering a part of your neck and bit the skin gently.
You pulled away from his grasp and tied your robe tighter, he was confused by the sudden change of mood and thought that maybe you were just tired. He watched you leave the walk-in closet and heard the bedroom door shut.
She’s not mad, she’s just tired. He reassured himself.
“Ah- fuck,” You moan as your back touches the silk bedsheet, your hand travels on Jaehyun’s nape.
You were bare naked in front of Jaehyun, his lips latching on your nipple as he massaged the other breast. You couldn’t help but throw your head back due to the sensation you were feeling. He sure knows how to make you crazy; rolling and circling his tongue on your nipple to bring sensation he knew you loved so much. You ran your fingers through his soft locks, pulling them gently as you arch your back in pleasure. Something felt empty when he removed his hand to focus on fingering you. God, he knows what your weaknesses are during sex.
“Jaehyun, can’t you just fuck me already?” You say, propping both of your elbows on the bed.
“Mhmm, my wife’s a little… impatient today, huh? Should I punish you?”
You were about to answer, but his phone just had to ring. You immediately gripped on his wrist, as if you were telling to let the call go to voicemail. He shook his head and made a lame excuse that it was work. Work, work, work. He says that every time you were about to have sex, to the point where it’s no longer believable. The last time you had sex was over a month ago, since then, it was always postponed because of ‘work’.
“I’m sorry, baby. It’s-”
“Work, yeah, I know.” You interrupt, “Go ahead, it’s fine.”
Jaehyun sensed the tone of your voice: Mad but calm. He knew you too well that even your facial expression meant something. He sighs, “What is your problem?”
“Nothing. Just go.” You replied, standing up to blow the candles you lit earlier and wrapped a robe on your naked body. You were tired of his excuses, but you had no choice.
“I’ll make it up to you tomorrow,” He tried to reconcile, “I’ll take you to Wolfgang’s. It’s your favorite steakhouse, right?”
You shook your head and said: “It’s alright. Don’t forget your keys, I’m going to sleep.”
She’s just tired. Jaehyun reassured himself as he watched you slip under the covers, your back facing him as he buttoned his dress shirt. Like any other day, Jaehyun planted a kiss on your temple before leaving. The moment you heard the bedroom door close, you turned around and looked at his side of the bed. Your fingers running through the soft fabric of the duvet.
After your anniversary night, a few weeks ago, you and your husband went back to your lives as if you never saw anything. As if nothing happened. You never confronted him about the message you saw, not because you didn’t want to but because you were scared to. You didn’t want to lose him; he was your everything. There were days that you wanted to forget about it, erase that memory, erase that image of Jaehyun sleeping with someone.
There were days that you did, for instance, you forgot about it when you went over to your parents’ house for dinner with him. He looked so happy and satisfied with you that night, for a brief amount of time, you forgot he had another woman.
Four years – what went wrong? Was it because you took over your mom’s business earlier as expected? You were too busy after she handed you her company, but despite your hectic schedules, not once did you forget to check up on him. So, what was the problem and what happened?
Your thoughts were too playful that night, and you didn’t even notice you got tired and fell asleep until your alarm for the weekends went off. You stood up and got ready for work, took a bath and wore one of your favorite casual dresses. While getting ready, you didn’t notice Jaehyun wake up. He suddenly appeared inside the walk-in closet while you were applying makeup. He placed a kiss on your clothed shoulder before heading to the shower.
You left the house without saying a word to him, only leaving a note on the fridge that says you were at work. The F/W Fashion Week will begin in a month therefore, most of your weekends are spend in the office, reviewing the designs you will release. A busy month in Allure indeed. During a presentation of the new designs, you couldn’t focus. Something was bothering you again. When your mom touched your hand, you broke from reverie. She asked if you were alright and listening, to which you nodded your head and tried to focus until the end of the meeting.
“Honey?” You heard your mom knock outside your office and opened the door, “I just wanted to remind you about Alex’s art gallery downtown. Tonight’s the opening, your father and I expect to see the two of you there.”
Shoot. You forgot about your sister-in-law’s invitation to her art gallery, “Must’ve slipped my mind. But yes, I will come.”
At 6 p.m., you left your office and realized you had time to change clothes before the event at 8. You hurriedly drove back home and saw Jaehyun playing with the neighbor’s 5-year-old daughter in your front yard. They looked so cute and made you imagine the future kids you will have. But with your husband having an affair, it’s only left to your imagination. He smiled at you when he saw you get down from your car. Rae, the five-year-old ran to you and hugged your legs. She was a little dirty by playing in the garden with Jaehyun, staining your white dress, but it didn’t matter.
“Hello, Rae! Did you have fun playing in our… um, dead garden?” You chuckle, lowering yourself to meet her eyes and tucked away the hair that was covering half of her face.
“I did! Your garden is not dead though, it’s still beautiful!” She said, getting distracted by the butterfly that flew over the marigolds. “It’s beautiful! Look at that butterfly!”
Rae removes herself from your grasp and ran after the butterfly, “My mommy is here! Thank you for playing with me, Uncle Jaehyun!” Jaehyun giggles and watched the child run to her mom with open arms.
“Um, tonight is Alex’s gallery opening.” You say, standing up to face him. “I think I’ll be home late. I can cook for you before I go out.”
Jaehyun’s eyebrows furrowed. “You mean we’ll be home late? Because I’m coming with you.”
“Oh, I thought you were… I just assumed you had work. Again.”
You left Jaehyun standing outside your house and walked inside. He’s coming with you. That’s new. He never really talked or showed interest in whatever you were doing these past few weeks and was busy with work. You enter the bedroom, trying your very best to unzip the dress from the back but couldn’t.
“Let me help you.” You heard Jaehyun say, you looked at the mirror and saw him leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed. “You could’ve called me for help, you know?”
In return, you gave him a small smile and let the dress fall past your shoulder. Your husband watches you with hungry eyes – like a lion about to devour his prey. The white lace bra and panties caught his attention; the set of underwear was perfect for you. He licked his lips, feeling the dried skin on it as you entered the shower.
Should I join her? He asked himself a few minutes after, I should join her to make it up last night. Without hesitation, Jaehyun unbuckles his belt and hurriedly undresses himself. Both of your clothes were on a pile in the middle of the shared closet.
The hot water running through your skin and the silence inside the four walls of your bathroom calmed you for a moment. You had a lot in mind that you didn’t notice the shower door open, and you were in the same small, hot room with your husband. The next thing you know, his lips were peppering your neck with kisses and his hands held the mound of your ass.
“J-jaehyun…” You quietly moan, your nails grazing through his soft, perfect skin. “We can’t… I have to go to- fuck.”
Jaehyun knew you too well. He knew your strengths; he knew your weaknesses. His fingers move between your legs, running them over your wet pussy as you let out a gasp. Hook, line, and sinker. He’s got you once again. He smirked, slowly pushing his index finger as he held you in his other arm. You held onto his arm, trying your best to sustain your moans but he whispered: “Let me hear you, my love.” On your ear before biting your earlobe.
“We have to be quick- fuck, I’m near!”
He pulls out his finger and distanced himself a little further from you, turning off the shower and spits on his palm as a lube, jerking himself. He lifted your leg, putting it on the shower seat to avoid any accidents as the two of you have sex inside the wet area of your house. “Ready?” He asked, you nodded your head and whimpered when you felt the tip of his cock touch the entrance of your pussy. “Let me know if you’re okay, alright?”
“Y-you can move now, Jaehyun.”
He started off slow, picking up the pace and making sure you were comfortable and fuck, did you look so good taking him from behind. The way your ass bounced as he thrusted and the way you held onto the shower door handle, moaning like there’s no tomorrow. His length was filling you up so, so perfectly. Jaehyun’s hand rested on your hips, the skin slapping mixed with moans and groans echoed inside the small room.
You adjusted your position, your back resting against his front. His hand traveled down your pussy and rubbed his finger against your clit, the other massaging your breasts. The synchronization of his thrusts and his fingers on your clit was pushing you closer and closer to your orgasm.
“Fuck, baby, you feel so… fucking good.” Jaehyun growls, “So perfect, nobody will fuck you the way I do, right?”
“Yes, yes, yes!” You chanted, moving your hips at the same time with his thrusts and your walls started to clench. “I-I’m cumming.”
Jaehyun placed a kiss on your shoulder blades, signifying that you did a great job. His white load seeps out of your core the moment he pulls out. He turns the shower on again and grabbed the shampoo, starting to lather them on your hair. He loved taking showers with you before, but due to your tight schedules and business trips and work, this was the first time he joined you again in the shower. Your body was still weak from the intense orgasm, so you let him take care of you and rinse off the lather of bubbles from the shampoo and soap on your body.
“You should dress up, love. I’ll continue showering.” He mutters, planting another kiss on your shoulder. You nodded your head and opened the shower door, wrapping yourself with your warm bathrobe.
After you got dressed and dried your hair, you sat down on the ottoman with a glass of wine on your hand and your phone on the other. As you were scrolling through your emails, Jaehyun’s phone lit up. Your mind instantly told you not to pick up the phone, but you just had to as that is what your instincts were telling you. And just like the night of your anniversary, it was Claire. Again. You rolled your eyes and read through the notifications.
XXXXXX Hotel. 7:30. Let’s have fun before you drop me off at the airport tonight.
You threw his phone across the bed and finished your glass of wine.
Jaehyun returns from the shower, entering the bedroom with a towel wrapped around his hips. He smiled at you, “Have you seen my ph- oh, there it is.” He said, taking his phone on the bed and unlocked it. You know what will happen next. “Um, babe? There’s something that happened at work, they need my assistance. I’ll go there quickly, help them, then I’ll follow you at Alex’s. Is that okay?”
“As if I have a choice.” You sighed, placing the wine glass on the bedside table. “Well, I’ll get going.”
It took you a few minutes before you arrived at your destination. You took unnecessary stops on the curbs to breathe. It took you almost an hour to arrive, even though it was normally a 20-minute drive from your house.
“Y/N, oh my, it’s been a while! I’ve missed you.” Alex, your sister-in-law greets you with a bone-crushing hug the moment you step inside the venue. “You look so gorgeous!”
“Congratulations on opening another gallery, Alex. Adam must be so proud!” You said, unclasping the hug and handed her the paper bag with wine inside of it.
The gallery was not that crowded, yet not too empty. A perfect place to socialize with people who have the same interest in art as you.
“Is that my baby sister I see?” You hear the familiar voice of your brother, jogging towards your direction and gave you a hug. “How are things? Where is Jaehyun?”
“Good,” You lie, “Work is a little stressful. But it’s good. Jaehyun had to go back to work, he’s working on a new software.”
“That great, you’ve adjusted pretty well in Allure. Wouldn’t be so shocked if you turned into mom.” Adam joked, earning a smack from his wife as he made a reference about your mom turning into a workaholic person since establishing Allure.
“Go ahead and give Y/N a tour of the gallery. I’ll go meet my guests.”
Your brother nodded his head and led you towards the quiet part of the gallery where most of the beautiful artworks his wife made were displayed. Your sister-in-law was introduced to the stardom of art after she released an abstract painting of a family, gaining a big amount of attention from various people around the world. It was the same painting that you were looking at right now.
The words of Jaehyun’s grandmother were still haunting you. Oh, how badly did you want a baby with your husband. But not when he’s having an affair, not when you’re suffering like this.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Your brother appeared out of nowhere after leaving you alone to grab something to drink for the two of you.
“I’m just admiring this painting.” You smile, “Adam, can I ask you something?”
You took a sip of the white wine; your eyes were focused on the painting. “If you… if you suspect that someone is cheating on you. Let’s say for example, Alex is cheating on you with someone from work. Would you… would you ever confront her about it?”
“Goddamn that’s a deep question.” He laughed, “But, yeah. I would, right away. So, we can fix things to save the marriage, or you know… end it early. Why did you ask this anyway? Is Jaehyun cheating on you?”
You almost choked, that was his first guess. “No! Of course not, he wouldn’t. It’s just a friend of mine.”
“I almost forgot the look on your face when you’re telling me the truth.”
“He’s not, okay? We’re fine.”
“He better not cheat on you.” He sighed, “Or else, he’ll face the wrath of me, Harry and Noah.”
You chuckle, remembering the memory of your three older brothers confronting your ex-boyfriend whom you dated when you were sixteen and your ex was eighteen. But Adam saying that he’d confront Alex if ever that event happened made you think that maybe you should’ve done it. You should’ve confronted Jaehyun about it, and if you did, maybe you’re saving your marriage by now.
But you didn’t.
Because you were scared. Because you were a coward. You weren’t like your brother who makes big decisions without considering any consequences and possibilities. Maybe there’s a part of you that wants to talk to Jaehyun about his infidelity, but you’re scared to know the reason why he cheated in the first place. You spent the past hour admiring the painting and socializing with others before deciding that you needed to go, you needed to see it for yourself, you needed to face him. You kissed your parents goodbye, apologizing for leaving early and made up an excuse. They tried to convince you to stay, but you didn’t.
“Come on, answer the phone…” You mutter, buckling your seatbelt as you command Siri to dial Hanbyul’s number, Jaehyun’s assistant. A part of you was relieved when she answered the phone. “I’m truly sorry for calling you at this time. Do you happen to know where Jaehyun is?”
“He’s not with you? He left the office around 5 today since he said he had a gallery opening that he needed to attend.” She answered, sounding too confused.
“Ah, I see. Thank you, Hanbyul. Please don’t tell him that I called you.”
You set the navigation to the hotel. The city was miraculously peaceful, you made it to every green light and barely stopped. As you parked your car a few blocks away, you made sure to be wary of your mission. You hid near the piano where you could see the front desk clearly. According to the text message you’ve read earlier, she’s checking out at 11. The time was 10:51 in the evening, and any minute now, any of these elevators will open.
At 10:57, you saw your husband exit the elevator with his mistress in his arms. Whispering sweet nothings to her as she smiled. Time stopped and you were frozen on the spot when you saw Jaehyun kiss her on the lips.
And just like that, the truth has slapped you hard. Real hard.
It has been exactly a month since you saw Jaehyun and his mistress.
You didn’t do anything even after seeing the two of them. You didn’t confront him. You didn’t tell the people around you that your husband was having an affair and your marriage was crumbling. You acted like everything was still perfect, like every puzzle piece was still pieced together. Work was a great distraction; it took your mind off of it for a little while as you got ready for your first and biggest event as the new CEO of Allure.
You and Jaehyun barely talk to each other, but as much as possible, you try to. Whenever he comes home late at night, you’re asleep. Whenever he wakes up, you’re already at the office. Today was the first time he woke up with you still laying in bed, asleep like a serene river. He smiles to himself; the tip of his index finger runs through your cheek. He couldn’t help but admire your beauty in the morning.
Jaehyun froze when you turned around, your back facing him as you checked the time on your phone. 8:00 AM, you were expected to arrive at the office in an hour for the final touches of the event happening tonight. He greets you a good morning, but you only respond with a smile and went inside the bathroom to get ready.
When you got out of the shower, Jaehyun was not in the walk-in closet nor the bedroom. The fresh aroma of coffee and bacon tells you that he was at the kitchen, preparing breakfast. He thought, since this was the first time you two saw each other again in daylight, he’d prepare a simple meal for you.
“Wow, you prepared breakfast…” You say, placing your bag on the counter and sat on the barstool.
“Mhm, this is the first time I woke up in weeks with you beside me, figured I should savor the moment.” He replied, “Sit down, pancake’s almost done.”
This is awkward. You thought, a decade together and this was the first time you felt awkward around him. Because whenever you look at your husband, your mind screams ‘cheater’.
“Breakfast is served.” He said, flashing his dimples out as he proudly serves you a platter of pancakes with some burnt bacon. “Sorry about the bacon, I forgot to flip them. Coffee?”
The smell of coffee plus the smell of bacon suddenly made you feel nauseous, when did they start to smell so bad? You thought, shaking your head no. “No, thank you.”
“Really? You love French press.”
You didn’t answer him and focused on eating the pancakes instead. He cocked an eyebrow by your sudden rejection of coffee, but he shook his head and sat next to you. You felt uneasy when you feel him watch you as you eat the food he made, you weren’t used to having someone watch you eat – it was creepy and annoyed you. Sighing, you dropped the silverware on the side of the plate.
“I have to go now; my team needs me.” You say, jumping off the stool and grabbed your bag. Jaehyun called your name, but you ignored it, heading straight to your car.
Why is she acting so weird? He thought, sending a text to his secretary to buy him a bouquet of flowers and send it home for him to bring it to you later before the event. Throughout the day, Jaehyun could only think of you. You were acting like he was a different person, you were acting like you’re strangers.
“Please move that curtain to the left, it’s covering the stage and I do not want my models to slip later.” You sternly said, your arms folded as you watched your team move the long curtain. It was already five in the afternoon, and the event will start in an hour.
“Y/N!” You heard someone call from behind, “It’s been so long.”
“No way, Changmo!” You greet, running to him and wrapped your arms around him. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m performing later, I wanted to look around so I could see the stage. You know? To double check.”
“Oh my, I didn’t know!”
Ku Changmo. Your ex-boyfriend, the one you dated when you were sixteen. The man always dreamed of performing on stage, and his mantra has always been, when you were dating, is that he’ll be a rockstar. Here he is now, indeed a rockstar. Your breakup with him was clean, there were no hard feelings left and you were so young when you broke up. You two were more of distant friends now. Jaehyun, well, even if you broke up long time ago, wasn’t a fan of the idea that you keep in contact with Changmo.
On the other side of the venue, stood your husband. His ears were blazing red, and it was like he was about to burst any second now. He was looking for you to wish you a good luck. From the distance, Jaehyun can be compared to an angry bull – ears and nose letting out smoke as he watched your ex-boyfriend wrap his arms around you.
“Y/N.” Jaehyun called, walking towards your direction. You turned around and sighed, you gave him a fake smile. Jaehyun offers his hand to Changmo, “It’s nice to see you, Changmo.”
“Same to you, Jaehyun.” Changmo said, shaking his hand. “Well, Y/N, it was nice catching up with you. I should go, congratulations.”
“Thank you, Mo. Goodluck on your performance later, break a leg!”
Jaehyun watched Changmo walk away and when he was finally out of his sight, he turns to face you. He gripped on the end of the bouquet tightly, trying to keep his anger inside. “What the hell was that?”
“What? Changmo just said hi and congratulated me.”
“He hugged you.”
You rolled your eyes and sighed, all this – the stress you’re feeling, aside from the last-minute touches of the event and Jaehyun being a complete ass is starting to get on your nerves. You wanted to slap him, but you won’t. You needed to keep your composure. You won’t make a scene.
“Can we talk about this when we get home later? You’re stressing me out, this whole event is stressing me out. So please, for the love of god, leave me alone for a while.” You begged, biting your lip to prevent yourself from crying.
You didn’t know when it all started.
One minute the house was in complete silence, only the sound of your heels clicking was heard. The next minute, the sound of plates and wine glasses shattering comes in sync with your and Jaehyun’s shouts and screams. You had just gotten home from your first and biggest event as the new CEO of Allure. The Fall-Winter Fashion Week 20** was a huge success, to you and your team, of course. All the hard work and dedication for the past four months have all paid off.
So here you are now, leaning against the kitchen counter surrounded with broken plates and yelling your lungs out.
“He got his hands all over you, Y/N! You’re not supposed to do that! He’s not supposed to do that!”
“Why, for the love of god, do you always assume that whenever I see one of my exes, I’m doing something with them? That I’m flirting with them?” You exploded, “I’m a married woman, Yuno. For fuck’s sake! Do you really think I’d throw away the years we spent together that easily?”
“I’m not done. It was clear that all he wanted earlier was to ask how I was, to congratulate me for doing such an amazing job with that whole, fucking event! Why- why must you assume that I’m cheating on you?!”
“I didn’t assume that you were cheating! All I’m saying is-”
“That’s basically what you’re implying! ‘He got his hands all over you again’? So, what if he did? It was just a hug! A friendly hug to be exact. It’s- it’s not as bad as what you’re doing.”
You broke down on the last sentence, tears started to roll down even if you tried your best not to. You were too tired to speak, too tired to fight. You were drained. All you wanted was to run away, disappear- anything to keep you away from this house.
“What are you talking about?”
“Jaehyun, how naïve do you think I am? Do you still think I know nothing about here? About Claire?” You say, “I… I tried my best to deny everything. I tried my best not to think about it. I tired my best to not picture you, fucking another woman!”
“Y/N, it’s not what you think-”
Slap. The anger you felt the moment you found out, the moment you saw them in the hotel, all those times he made excuses about work and the moment he accused you of cheating, all that anger was poured in one slap. Jaehyun couldn’t believe it. You walked past him, heading straight to the bedroom and locked yourself inside. You were hoping that your husband would follow you and beg for your forgiveness, come clean but you heard the engine of his car turn on. You bawled louder when your eyes met the big portrait of you and Jaehyun standing next to the lounge chair. A picture of your first dance during your wedding reception. It felt like the portrait was mocking you.
The two of you loved that image, it shows how in love you were with each other and without a single worry about the world, because you two had each other. Where did that go? Why did this, once happy couple, experience this kind of obstacle? Where did it all go wrong?
“Fuck.” You cursed loudly, feeling a piercing pain on your stomach. You looked down and noticed the trickling blood staining your white jumpsuit. “Fuck.”
Jaehyun was driving around the city for hours now. He did not feel like staying home after all that fight. How will he face you after that? It was five in the morning, and here he was, downing a bottle of alcohol and admiring the beauty of Han River at dawn. He sighed, he has made a lot of mistakes in his life, but he knew this time – he really fucked up.
Whenever Jaehyun closes his eyes, he remembers a memory he shared with you.
The night you told him you wanted to be official,
The first time you said ‘I love you’,
The first time you introduced him to your family,
The time you helped him prepare one of his biggest presentations,
The day he established his own company, Zetta Tech.,
The day he asked you to marry him,
The day you got married, and of course, where it all started,
The day he spilled a drink on your white shirt on the first day of university.
He was woken up from his thoughts when he heard his phone ring, Adam’s contact number appeared on the screen. He hesitated for a moment, does Adam know? Did the new of me cheating spread like wildfire? He thought, pressing the green button and was greeted by your brother’s voice. It was obvious that he was panicking as he told him that he was taking you to the hospital. He could hear your screams and groans behind, telling Adam to drive faster.
“She’s pregnant, Jaehyun.” Adam told him as soon as he arrived, diverting his attention back to the papers he was filling up for you. “She’s inside that room, resting.”
Jaehyun nodded his head and pushed the door open. You were laying on your side, back facing the door and had an IV attached on your hand. The room was too quiet, it was deafening. He sat at the edge of the bed, trying to keep you close to him even though you pushed his hand away from yours. He felt his heart crack.
“Adam told me that you’re pregnant… why didn’t you tell me?” He sighed, he was about to continue, but the door opened and revealed a male doctor.
“Good morning, Mr. Jeong. I was told that you have arrived.” Doctor Kim smiled, “Y/N just had a D&C procedure over an hour ago. I’m here to discuss the things she shouldn’t do for at least a week or so-”
“I- what happened? Why did she need a procedure?”
“Y/N had a miscarriage. She needed the procedure right away because she was 10 weeks pregnant. You know about this, right?” He shook his head, “Oh… well, I’m very sorry for your lost and to be the one who told you about this matter. But you really must take care of your wife. She must avoid anything that would cause stress and fatigue.”
After further explaining your situation, Doctor Kim leaves the two of you inside the room. You were 10 weeks pregnant. Were. You didn’t talk to him about it, just like you didn’t confront him about his affair. You hid secrets from him, like he did. Both of you were at fault.
“Did you know?” He asked, taking a seat next to the bed.
“I just found out when Adam rushed me to the emergency room.” You replied, “Jaehyun, I don’t want this… I- I can’t be in the same room as you. I feel so suffocated, I want to forget about this. Jaehyun, I can’t do this anymore. I have to be alone.”
The sun was up and seeped through the curtains of the bedroom. Jaehyun rolled over to the other side of the bed, in hopes to cage you in his arms and greet you a good morning. Instead, he was greeted by a cold and empty space. He realized that it has been a month since you left this house with everything you own, basically the place has been empty and so was Jaehyun’s soul.
“Damn it, I’m coming! You don’t have to ring the bell so many times!” He shouted, sprinting down the stairs and immediately opened the front door. No one was there, but someone left a manila envelope. Jaehyun frowns when he saw the logo, a well-known law office and was addressed to him. His heart dropped.
I know this is all so sudden, however, I have decided. I already signed it, so please cooperate with me. There is no point in continuing our marriage. Please sign these divorce papers and send them back to my office. I will contact you as soon as possible and I will see you in court.
He fucked up. Big time.
READ DIVORCE PAPERS HERE.
COPYRIGHT © THEJE0NGS. 2021. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
DO NOT REPOST OR TRANSLATE.
❝affection❞ - DREAM
-mark- by the small hands gesture he does, like when he fixes your hair, or holding your hand nervously!. Probably placing his head on your shoulder and giggling like a kid around you. “Baby! Your hair, let me fix it a bit” he says while gently removing your hair out of your face.
-renjun- by words, he will make sure that you know that he LOVES YOU. Always will tell you how good you look, how pretty your outfit are and how his heart flutter whenever he looks at you. “Yellow looks good on you” renjun would always say whenever you wear his favorite color.
-jeno- by giving the world up for you, when it comes to you he loses his mind, he can’t do anything but to protect you, he definitely would buy you presents, give words of affirmation and small gestures. “Baby wanna order something?” , “i love you” he would definitely say it randomly!.
-haechan- by messing around with you, he would prank you a bit because he is comfortable around you, he will definitely tells you stories about his childhood and how he almost got suspended once and how he broke his mom favorite vase!. “So while i was running … I forgot what i was saying y/n because of you” he says angrily!. “What did i do?” You say while looking at him angrily as well. “I got lost in your eyes that’s why”
-jaemin- by giving you all of his attention, he would always look at your eyes, held your eyes letting you know that he listens to you very well. “Here’s your coffee” he will says while handing your coffee order that no one actually knows as well as jaemin.
-chenle- by being so happy around you. He would be so giggly around you, will laugh at EVERYTHING YOU SAY, he just finds you pretty and he can’t stop giggling. He ￼would definitely smack you while laughing as well. “Stop making me laugh y/n! I can’t breathe” he will says while covering his face with a blanket .
-jisung- by being brave about his feelings around you. He usually shy but when it comes to you he will push his shyness away. He will tell you how much you mean to him and how much he lives you. Late night talks with brave jisung. “I love the wasy you make me feel, like i have everything i will ever need” jisung will say while smiling under the moonlight.
In My Dreams
Haechan x Reader
Requested Prompts 54; "say my name" 60; Power Outage
Genre: pwop, smut [drunk sex, protected sex, public sex, slight thigh riding, oral sex (m receiving), fingering.]
Warning: Swearing, drinking.
requests are closed for the rest of the month.
A/N: Please excuse any grammatical error.
Haechan laughed as you glared at him. Typical of him to assume that he was the centre of the world.
"Not everyone is out to suck your dick." You said, as you rolled your eyes and walked away from him. He'd been getting on your nerves the entire night. Coming to this party was becoming more and more of a bad idea as the minutes ticked by.
"Oh, but they are baby," Haechan replied, his hands grabbing at your belt loop and pulling you into him. "Especially you, isn't that right sweetheart?"
"I'd rather cut out my tongue, Donghyuck." You smiled at him sweetly as you said the words. His lips curled in a smirk.
"That's interesting because I swear I heard you moaning my name last night as you fucked yourself." He lowered his head to your ear as he spoke, his breath on the side of your neck sending shivers down your spine.
For a second you froze, your stomach curling. There was literally no way he could know that.
"Fuck off." You said and pushed at his chest. He laughed as he took a step away from you.
There was literally no way he knew. Unless of course, Jaemin had him over last night, your room wall shared a wall with his living room. But even then you were never loud, at least you didn't think you were.
You glanced back at Haechan as you came up to the table full of alcohol, he was talking to Jeno. His arms crossed over his chest as he leaned back into the counter. You let your eyes rake up his body, not being able to control the desire that pooled inside of you every time you saw the boy.
Too bad his personality was garbage, because he was the definition of your type, of course, that was only until he opened his mouth.
Haechan looked at you, his eyes locking with his. You sneered in his direction before grabbing for a new red solo cup and pouring yourself a shot of Vodka.
The clear liquid burned your throat as it went down. Throwing the cup out, you looked around the room for Renjun, you found your best friend in a corner.
His eyes were glued to his phone. You sighed, there would be no point in going up to him. He was in an intense conversation with his long-distance girlfriend, god knows why he even came to this he should've stayed home.
So should have you.
"Yo Y/N," Jaemin called for you. Waving his hand for you to go over to him aggressively. "Let's play honeycomb!"
You glanced towards Renjun one last time before thinking fuck it and going over to the table where the boys had a bunch of cups set up. If you were already at the party, might as well make the best of it.
You lost the game, the king's cup ending up in your hands. Haechan snickered at you from across the table.
"Drink up," He teased, his eyes lingering on your lips as he spoke. You narrowed your eyes at him before tipping the glass to your lips and chugging the disgusting contents of the cup.
You were drunk, not to the point where you wouldn't remember anything the next morning but you were drunk enough that you couldn't walk straight without slightly stumbling.
You stumbled up the stairs, your eyes looking for a door that could be the bathroom. You'd only been to Jeno's townhouse twice before. The lights in the hall flickered as you made your way through, checking for a door that would be unlocked.
Finally finding a handle that turned when you wanted it to, you flung the door open expecting to find a bathroom, however, it was a small cramped closet. And inside it was Haechan with his mouth pressed against some girl you'd never seen before. Her hands were tangled into his hair, his hands pushing at her shirt so that his thumb could move along the bare skin of her hip.
His eyes trailed to you, as you stood there not realizing you should close the door. Something inside of you twisted at the sight in front of you. You wanted the girl to back off of Haechan, but why it was not like he was yours.
The girl pulled away from him, finally noticing you.
"What the fuck are you-" She started, her tone aggravated.
"Fuck off." You said, your tone angry. You couldn't understand what had come over you, but the tightness you felt in your chest eased as you continued.
"Excuse me?" she replied, her hands letting go of Haechan.
"You heard me, fuck off." You repeated, stepping to the side and gesturing with your hand the way in which she should go.
The light in the hall flickered again.
Haechan chuckled as you tilted your head at her, she was stuck in her spot staring at you in shock.
She looked from you to Haechan, who simply shrugged. The girl opened her mouth to argue, but Haechan stepped away from her. She once again looked from you to Haechan before sneering a swear at Haechan and then storming away from both of you.
"What are you doing?" Haechan asked. Your body leaned onto the door as you stared at him.
"Why do you say such stupid things?" You asked. Your regular filter gone, due to the alcohol.
"What do you mean?" He asked, leaning against the door frame of the closet, his hands crossing over his chest. Just like the way they were earlier in the evening.
Just like then your eyes trailed down his frame, stopping at his hips, his cock obviously hard, strained against the material of his jeans.
Haechan called your name making you snap your eyes back up to his face. He was smirking, his tongue darting out to lick his lips.
"Why do you speak and ruin everything?" You asked, your body moving towards his subconsciously.
Haechan opened his mouth to speak, but you were on him. Your hands grabbed his face, your thumb running over his lips stopping his words before they came out.
Haechan's hands instantly grabbed at your waist, pulling you against him. Your eyes were locked on his plump lips as your thumb traced over them for a second time. They were red and slightly swollen, you wondered how long he and the girl had been in the closet.
Your stomach tightened as Haechan took your thumb into his mouth, his tongue swirling around it.
You looked up at his eyes and you were sucked into the lust there. His eyes ate up your heated face as your heart rate picked up. Haechan could probably feel it from how hard you were pressed against him.
"Fuck," Haechan groaned when you lifted yourself up slightly, your hips pushing against his hard cock as you did so.
"Why does your stupid mouth haunt my dreams?" You wondered out loud just before you pressed your lips to his.
Haechan groaned into your mouth, his grip on you tightening. The lights in the hall flickered again and then the hall all of a sudden was plunged into darkness.
That didn't pull you away from Haechan, that simply pushed you onto him more. Your tongue moved into his mouth to meet his, as his hands moved up your shirt. His fingers stroked the soft skin of your back, making your curl into him more.
"You think only your dreams are fucked?" Haechan asked, his mouth moving away from yours. You could still make out his face in the dark, but barely. He pushed you into the wall opposite the closet, his teeth sinking into your bottom lip.
His thigh pushed in-between your legs as his right hand moved up to your throat, gently grabbing it. His left hand was beside your head on the wall.
"The number of times I've had you up against a wall just like this in a dream." He muttered against your lips. You moaned when his lips sunk back into yours. Your hips moving against his leg on their own accord.
Your whole body was heated, in want for him. Your hands grabbed at it his hair desperately. As your hips began to work themselves against him harder.
Haechan moaned when you pulled his hair back, his lips leaving yours as you trailed open-mouthed kisses down his throat. His hand falling from your throat to your boob, his large hand cupping it.
You kissed his adam's apple as it bobbed in his throat when he swallowed, before sinking your teeth into the delicate skin just to the left of it. He let out a moan loud enough only for your ears.
Both of you could care less about the ruckus going on downstairs about the lost light. Your minds occupied by each other, taking full advantage of the dark.
Your hands moved from his hair down to his jeans, as you pushed him back slightly. You moved down to your knees, his hips level with your face. You pulled his jeans, undoing the button then pulling the zipper open. You pulled out his cock, red and hard, you looked up at him. Both his hands braced on the wall, and you slowly pumped him.
Laboured breaths came out of him as you pressed a small kiss to the tip of his dick.
Haechan cursed as you repeated the action. His hips thrust towards your mouth. You breathed deeply before opening your mouth and taking him into your mouth. You swirled your tongue around his cock, loving the way his moans grew deeper as you slowly began to bob your head. Your hand working the rest of his length.
Haechan cursed again as you tightened your lips around him. His hand flew to your hair holding your head as he thrust into your throat himself. You let him. Your hands moved to his thighs as he moved in your mouth, your throat constricting around him.
He suddenly pulled out, a string of spit connecting you to him. You breathed heavily looking up at him. His face flushed red. As he panted down at you. He ran his hand through your hair a few times as you both heavily breathed, eyes locked with each other.
"Get up." He ordered, his hand finally leaving your hair. He helped you up, his hands instantly going to your shirt. He pushed it up, past your boobs his mouth connecting to the soft flesh, not in the cups of your bra.
He sucked the heated skin into his mouth. Your head fell back against the wall, as his hands unhooked your bra, letting the material loosen.
His mouth lowered, his fingers pushing the cups out of his way so that he could take your nipple into his mouth. You moaned at the contact, your thighs rubbing against each other.
You could feel the wetness soaked into your underwear, you were sure there was a huge wet patch. Your clit throbbed, begging for attention of its own.
"Haechan please." You whined, your hand pulling at his hair again. He let go of your nipple, a loud pop resonating through the empty hallway.
"Please what baby?" He asked, his tone heated. His face returned to yours as he pressed wet kisses along your jaw.
You whined, your entire body was on fire. You needed him to touch you badly. Your hips rolled against the air, looking for his.
"What do you want me to do Y/N?" He asked.
"I want your fingers." You finally let out, after his teeth pulled at the soft skin under your ear.
"Gladly," He said, his hand trailing down your body towards the button of your jean, he quickly undid it letting his hand slip past the waistband of your panties he slid his middle finger along your slit.
"Fuck baby, you're so fucking wet." He moaned out. Dragging your wetness towards your clit he pushed his middle finger against it, earning a loud moan from you.
His mouth lowered to yours, his teeth biting your upper lip before sucking on it.
"You can't be that loud." He said as he started to draw figure eights on your clit. Your hands gripped at the back of his shirt, as you pulled him towards yourself. The muscles in your stomach tightened as he worked you.
"More, I want more." You moaned, your hips moving with his hand. Haechan panted, clearly also worked up from the sounds coming out of you.
He didn't hesitate to press two fingers into your core, your breath hitching as he did so. His thumb picked up on your clit where his fingers left off.
Suddenly the lights in the hall all flickered back on, the loud music downstairs returning. You could see Haechan face through hooded eyes, his hair messed up from your fingers constantly pulling at it.
His fingers didn't relent in you, your hand moving to his bicep as he picked up his pace.
"W-we should move back into the closet." You stuttered out, barely getting the sentence out between whimpered breaths.
"Oh, now you remember modesty." Haechan teased. His forehead connecting with yours. His fingers becoming more aggressive. Your eyes fluttered shut as every muscle in your body tightened.
You were gonna come. Your tongue darted out licking along your drying lips.
"There's nothing modest about this." You mumbled back, just as your brain turned to mush, giving into the fire that finally snapped free and spread into every inch of your body. Your fingers digging into his skin, toes curling, and incoherent words spilling out past your lips as you came on Haechan's fingers.
Haechan kept on moving his fingers inside you, working you through your orgasm, his thumb still circling your clit. You whimpered as you came back down, your hands pushing at his shoulders. His name spilled out of your mouth over and over again as you tried to get him to slow down.
All of a sudden, Haechan's head snapped towards the stairs, his fingers stilling inside of you. You let your head fall into the crook of his neck breathing heavily as you tried to regain your control.
Cursing Haechan, pulled his fingers out of you. You whimpered from the loss of contact, his hands harshly grabbing at your arm finally pulling you into the closet and pulling the door shut behind you.
Once again you both were in the dark, the only light coming from the hall through the cracks in the door.
"You'll have to stay quiet," Haechan mumbled, "Okay?"
You finally picked up on Renjuns voice, from what he was saying you assumed he was talking to his girlfriend.
Haechan pulled a condom out of his pocket, you shot him an unamused look.
"You keep them in your pocket?" You asked.
"Are you really gonna complain right now?" He retorted.
Renjun's voice stopped right outside of the door, his words harsh and quick.
Haechan lifted your leg, his fingers finding your core again, moving them through your folds. You bit your lip to keep your moans in. Renjun was still outside the closet.
"Ready?" Haechan whispered to you.
"Wait for him to move on." You whispered back. Haechan let his head fall back, a quiet groan of annoyance leaving him. You listened to Renjun, his voice not moving further away.
"He's not moving," Haechan said, after a minute of waiting. You grumbled as well. Haechan leaned down his nose nudging yours.
"Come on babe you can be quiet, can't you?" He asked, before darting his tongue out to lick at the seam of your lips. The hand not holding your leg, rolling over your nipple, making your body jerk into his.
"Fuck, yes. I'm ready." You whimpered.
Haechan took the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth. His hand grabbed for his cock, so that he could line himself up at your entrance. Your heart rate accelerated as he slowly pushed into you.
You were still sensitive from your orgasm. Renjuns voice pushed to the back of your mind as Haechan stilled. Both of you breathing heavily.
"Fuck fuck fuck," You cursed, "I feel so full."
Haechan chuckled, before moving back out, his cock dragging against your walls. He pumped back in hard, you whimpered again. Not making any noise was going to be harder than you thought.
Haechan's eyes flashed to yours, warning you silently to keep quiet. You bit your lip, hoping it would help as he continued to move in you. His thrusts picked up as he fucked you into the wall.
You wrapped both your arms around his shoulders, letting your head rest against the wall.
A moan escaped your lips as Haechan moved his fingers to your clit.
"Haechan please, it's too much." You whined, your mind not registering the volume you spoke at.
Haechan groaned, "fuck babe, say my name again." His hips not relenting, your mind drifted again towards the fuzzy warmth that was spreading across your skin again. You moaned his name again as he somehow thrust into you harder.
"You were supposed to be quiet." He muttered, you didn't get a chance to process his words as the warmth crackled into a fire once again. Your body arched into his as you came again, your walls spasming around his cock. His thrusts prolonging your orgasm, your body twitching as you tried to breathe. Haechan stilled inside you as he came, your mind gone as you heavily gulped for air.
Haechan stayed inside you for a bit longer, his chest heaving as his face nuzzled into yours.
"There is no way in hell I don't get to that with you again." He said, his breath fanning your face.
"Trust me, you'll get this again." You said, your words faltering as he pulled out of you.
Both of you put your clothes back into place before opening the door to the closet slightly. You made Haechan check the hall to make sure Renjun was no longer there before you both headed out and back downstairs.
You found Renjun sitting at the bottom of the stairs, his head turning up to face you as you neared him. He looked unamused as you sat down next to him.
"A closet dude?" He asked, you shrugged.
"I had a dream okay." You muttered, turning your face away from Renjun as he began to laugh at you.
When Snow Falls
Originally posted here
▌ꫂꯥ➣ title | when snow falls
▌ꫂꯥ➣ genre | fluff, slight angst, minor arguments, slice of life, snow day
▌ꫂꯥ➣ characters | Jaehyun x reader
▌ꫂꯥ➣ summary | it's snow and all you want to do is play in the snow with your sleepy boyfriend.
▌ꫂꯥ➣ warnings | suggestive dialogue
▌ꫂꯥ➣ word count | 1.7k
▌ꫂꯥ➣ author’s notes | last night, it started snowing at my house, something i haven't seen in three years. while outside, i couldn't help but to imagine what it would be like with jaehyun. thus, when i got back inside, i started this fic. hope you enjoy!
▌ꫂꯥ➣ tag list | @treasuretaeil @hachanbaecon @jisungsblackhairissuperior @nschit @jaesspresso
❝The first snow is like the first love❞ — Lara Biyuts
- - - -
It was late when the movie came to an end, the credits darkening the screen, making the dim living room that much darker. You sat there watching the credits roll for another moment or two before grabbing the remote from off the coffee table and switching off the television. You slid up on the couch to prepare yourself to stand, taking the extra time to arch your back and stretch your arms wide above your head to wake up the muscles that had been asleep since your last bathroom break two hours ago. A small yawn slipped past your lips as you pulled yourself off the couch, grabbing the empty popcorn bowl and empty soda cans off the coffee table to dispose of them properly in the kitchen.
You tiptoed the few steps it took to get into the small, open kitchen where you placed the popcorn bowl in the sink to be washed in the morning and lifted the recycling bin lid to toss in two aluminum cans. You checked the latch on the back door, ensuring it was secure, more out of habit than paranoia, and returned quietly to the living room to finish shutting the drapes that your boyfriend had been careless with when you’d first asked him to do it.
You padded quietly over to the drapes, detangling one with quick motions and letting it fall while you worked on the other. As you let the first drape fall, you absentmindedly glanced out of the window, expecting to see your normal street view. Your driveway leading to the road where the street lamp shined brightly through the night. Your neighbor’s houses across the road, most likely harboring a forgotten bike on the front lawn. Perhaps you’d even see the neighborhood cat wandering around as it usually did. However, though you saw everything you’d expected to see, what you didn’t expect was for everything to be coated in a wonderful white powder.
A small squeal left your lips. There was no way this was real! You hadn’t seen snow in nearly four years! But as you let out a small squeak of pain from your hand pinching hard into your left arm, your mouth couldn’t help but to form a smile.
“Jaehyun!” you called gleefully, never taking your eyes off the window.
When you hadn’t heard a response after a few moments, you spun around to see the man in question still sprawled out on the couch, mouth hanging half open and slightly drooling on the throw pillow he’d dubbed his “nap pillow.” He was still exactly as you’d left him. Dead to the world. His only movement being the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest. While typically, you would only wake him long enough to drag him into a much more comfortable bed, tonight, you had no regard for his comfort.
“Jaehyun! Get up!” you called again, none too quietly.
This time, his breathing stuttered and his shoulders rolled, seeking a more comfortable position.
“What,” he mumbled grumpily, his consciousness already fading before he’d even gotten the word out.
“Get up! It’s snowing!” you cheeped.
You glanced back out the window. Sending it a warning glare, almost daring the white powder to be a sleepy allusion. When it had been warned, you paced across the room to the already back asleep Jaehyun and grabbed his shoulder firmly, shaking lightly.
“Get up! It’s snowing! We’ve got to go outside!”
He grumbled. “Why? It’ll be there in the morning.”
He had a valid point, but you couldn’t wait til morning.
“Get up, get up, get up!” you chanted, shaking his shoulder harder.
He grumbled again, deep in his chest, but this time, he shifted beneath your incessant shaking, slowly pulling himself to sit up, stretching his limbs out above his head.
Satisfied that he was now awake, you jumped up from the couch.
“Let’s go outside! We have to dance in the snow!” you squealed.
He let out another grumble and you turned back to face him, a grumpy frown spread across your lips.
“The snow will still be there in the morning. It will be cold out there and it’s already midnight. Let’s go to bed,” he reasoned.
A pout replaced the frown.
“But it’s falling right now! Can you 100% guarantee me that it will still be falling in the morning?” You crossed your arms and waited for his response, to which he sighed.
“No, I can’t, but it will still be on the ground, just as good. C’mon, we’re both tired. If you’re that insistent, then go out by yourself. I want to go to bed!”
You shook your head. “I don’t want to dance alone!”
He huffed and leaned back against the couch, letting his eyes close once more as if the conversation was over. Your eyes narrowed.
“Jung fucking Jaehyun! Get your ass off that couch and come play in the snow with me!” you seethed, a scowl plastered across your face.
He opened his eyes and glanced at you before turning his head away and closing his eyes again. You let out a small growl, frustration filling your veins. You felt childish for getting so frustrated but… it never snowed anywhere even close to where you lived! It only happened once every five years! Chances like these didn’t come around often, and the last few times they had, you’d missed the opportunity to dance in the falling snow with the man you loved! You’d be damned if you missed it this time all because your boyfriend was too fucking stubborn to get his ass off the couch for a damn hour!
You grabbed the throw pillow that Jaehyun had been drooling on before you’d woken him and hit him in the head with it, causing him to jump, eyes wide.
“Did you just-”
“Dance with me for an hour, then you can go to bed!” you reasoned.
“It’s too damn cold out there!”
You hit him again.
“Put on that coat Johnny bought you last year!”
“I’m not leaving this warm, cozy house!” he argued.
“Oh my God! Jaehyun I-”
“That‘s not the first time you’ve said that,” he cut you off, a dirty smirk spreading across his face.
You stared at him blankly, lost at how he’d taken your frustration and turned it into a dirty joke?
“What the fuck, Jae?!” you yelped.
“Not the first time I’ve heard that either,” he replied coyly.
You smacked him in the head with the pillow.
“I swear, if you don’t get dressed and get your ass outside in the fucking snow with me, I will smother you in your sleep!” you threatened.
“Not the first time you tried to smother me,” he smirked with a wink.
“Well you’ll enjoy this time a lot less,” you retorted.
“I wouldn’t count on that,” he smirked as he got up off the couch with a grunt like he was some middle-aged man with stiff joints.
“You get to keep me outside for 30 minutes? Take it or leave it?”
It took you a moment to fully grasp what he was saying before a grin spread. 30 minutes was better than nothing.
“Your coat and boots are in the closet!” you informed, dashing off toward your shared bedroom to dig out your own coat.
- - - -
After finally getting dressed enough to go out in the snow without getting too cold too quickly, you both were out the door, a smile blossoming across your face as soon as the chilly wind blowing large flakes of snow brushed across your cheeks. You clasped Jaehyun’s hand in yours and pulled him off the doorstep and into the snow-covered yard that seemed to have turned into a winter wonderland.
“It’s so beautiful,” you whispered, taking in the mesmerizing surroundings.
Your yard was completely covered in the white blanket. The streetlamp at the edge of the driveway beamed off the snow, creating just enough light to cast the surroundings in a dim glow. The light from your porch illuminated the fast-falling snowflakes that settled all around you; flakes of ice creating a bed in your hair, creating a messy crown as you surveyed your kingdom and, more importantly, your king.
You turned to face Jaehyun with a loving smile.
“Dance with me,” you whispered.
He returned the smile and settled one of his gloved hands on your waist, the other taking your hand and stepping forward, leading you into the beam of the porch light. He twirled you out and spun you back in, your back pressing against his chest, your arms crossed over your torso as you both swayed.
“I love you,” he whispered, spinning you around again to face him.
You followed his lead around in a small circle beneath the spotlight.
“I love you too,” you responded, leaning up to press a soft kiss against his lips.
He twirled you around, bringing him back to him and dipped you, your left leg lifting into the air as you breathed out a gasp at the unexpected move. Your breath visible in the cold as Jaehyun leaned down to greet you, pressing his lips against yours as he supported most of your body weight in his arms, making you feel weightless, floaty, and oh so in love. Snow fell around you, brushing against your cheeks and landing delicately in your hair. Your arms wound around Jaehyun’s neck to tug him closer in the cold night.
When he pulled away, he pulled you back up slowly and it took a moment to regain your footing, feeling a bit dizzy after such a perfect moment.
“Thank you for dragging me out here,” he whispered, twirling you again before drawing you to his chest.
The cold was already starting to get too much, but as he held you close, you couldn’t imagine going back inside. That is, until loose, freezing snow fell down the back of your pajama shirt, dropping down your spine as you let out a loud shriek, wrenching yourself away from Jaehyun. As you wiggled and squirmed, letting out small shrieks whilst flopping the back of your shirt up in an attempt at getting the snow off your skin and out of your shirt, Jaehyun doubled over in hysterical laughter, nearly losing his footing and faceplanting as he cackled.
“That’s for hitting me with that damn pillow!” he yelled out through his roaring laughter.
Let's Talk about Our Kids
Title: Let's Talk about Our Kids
Part One: Our Kids Talk about Us
Pairing: Jaehyun x You
Genre: single parents au, angst, drama, fluff, romance, smut
Warnings: mentions of death, unprotected sex
Word Count: 10k
Summary: Jaehyun has vowed to never marry again after his wife’s death while you don’t want to be tied down to someone who cannot fully commit to you. Yet, you can’t seem to move on from each other.
Tag list: @sunnosmoon @junghayoonsposts @johnjaespeach @infnteen @paolandotcom @neptuniees @chitaphrrrr @peachjaehyunsworld @chichhihaa @hii-yongseul @winxnct @eidelblues @adorejaehyn @daegalfangirl @suhpersonic @mrkleelvr @chenlewifey @sunshine-skz @ukiyoneo @yoonrimin @windyhyuck @darkreymbow @jaeminflix @charkpanyeols @skkrtnawrskkrt @idiomaticpunk @ray-019
Jaehyun stood in front of his beloved wife’s grave on a warm summer afternoon that greatly contrasted with the day of her funeral years ago which he still remembered vividly as the darkest and coldest day in his life so far.
The cemetery had been filled with people vocalizing their condolence, but he hadn’t sensed or perceived anything else than his daughter’s small fingers in his hand and the severe pain sitting in his heart.
A pain that he had thought would never vanish.
Today, he came alone.
This conversation, he owed his late wife, and the sunny weather mirrored his mood again as was holding good news, even though he was wearing a black suit that he had only worn on two occasions before,
on the day of their wedding and her funeral.
“Hello dear,” Jaehyun started rather awkwardly, the wrapping paper of the flower bouquet rustling in his hands. “I haven’t been here in so long, I’m sorry. A lot of things have happened in my life. I came here to tell you about it.”
He placed the flowers on the grave and withdrew again. His wife would be 28 as of today. Just like him. Yet, Jaehyun remembered her as a 24 year old like the last time he had seen her. She wouldn’t have changed much, he knew that.
But he did.
He had changed a lot.
“Our daughter has grown up fine,” he told her. Still, he felt a bit uncomfortable talking to the void. “She’s seven years old now and doing well in school and in life. I haven’t always been a perfect father. I couldn’t be. But I’m still proud of the girl I raised, and I know you would be too. She’s living her best life now.”
A warm breeze made the leaves of the surrounding trees swirl in the wind. For Jaehyun, this was a sign that she was here with him, no matter how silly it might sound to others.
“As for me… I also want to live my best life. Even if it cannot be alongside you, I want to be genuinely happy again. I know you wanted it for me. I have spent so many years mourning that now… I am willing to move on.”
For eight years, Jaehyun had been wearing his wedding ring that was now carefully carried in his palm.
When he opened his fingers and looked at it, it gave him a feeling of warmth and bliss as it reminded him of the few years he had been able to happily spend by his late wife’s side. But since her death, the expensive item has haunted him with sorrow and grief also.
“I fell in love again.” With a smile, Jaehyun turned his head against the sky while his fingers closed around the ring again. “Are you happy for me?”
He felt it rustling in the trees once more, and his smile widened. Jaehyun had no regrets and guilt left anymore for wanting to move on. If it made him this happy, he knew that you were the last person to hinder him from letting go of the past.
“Are you willing to let me go?”
“Fuck off, Jaehyun!”
“You knew this entire time!” you blamed him. “Since the beginning, you knew that one day, I wanted to get married!”
“I…” he shrugged. “I knew, yes… But that doesn’t necessarily mean it has to be me, the one you get married to, right?”
You were so shocked over this sudden statement, you almost tripped over the stairs in your own house. Falling down the steps would probably hurt less than what was about to come now.
“I mean,” Jaehyun added, “when we agreed on dating… it was just that, right? Just dating.”
You bit on your lower lip, your fingers gripping on the balustrade to your right so hard, your knuckles turned white. “You raise my daughter with me. You taught her how to swim. You built her a tree house. You promised her that when she grows older, you’ll show her how to maintain a car. Damn, you even slept in my bed almost every night! And now you’re telling me it’s just that? Dating? With an expiration date?”
You were furious when you thought back on the past months.
When Jaehyun had finally agreed to go out with you not only once, but twice and on many more occasions, you were sure that finally, he was about to open up and let you in his life fully after his wife’s death.
That he was finally ready to move on.
But there was one thing you had always been clear about from the very beginning: You dated for marriage. Nothing less. After what you had been through with your ex boyfriend, you wanted a stable family.
And Jaehyun knew.
He had known the entire time that you only wore a fake wedding ring to avoid the stigma of being a single parent, and that you were dreaming of exchanging the cheap jewelry for a real one in the future - from him.
But he had never held the intention to marry you.
During all the nights that you had spent together, hidden from your kids’ eyes and ears, he knew that it wouldn’t be something permanent. That you didn’t have to come out to your kids, because it was only a fling.
And it hurt as fuck to get so blindsided.
“Does a marriage mean nothing to you?”
His answer came in stutters, but it was still clear. “I was married once. That’s enough for a lifetime.”
Your lips trembled in anger. “Please take your belongings and go.”
“Is this what you want?”
“Not wanting to be tied down to someone who cannot fully commit to me?” you furiously yelled at him. “Then yes, this is what I want! I want someone who I can call my husband eventually, who can be a father for Jeni! And now you’re telling me you don’t want to be that person for me, for us? What’s the point in building a relationship with you even?”
“Just because a marriage is not in the books for me doesn’t mean I don’t like you. And I can still be a father figure for Jeni,” Jaehyun explained calmly. “Someone, a male person, she can rely on, who teaches her things mothers can’t.”
You raised your chin. “Out of all people who can be that, why must it be you then?”
Jaehyun didn’t know the answer to this.
Jeni hopped from her tree house to the ground. “Hi Jaehyun! Is Byeol coming back from her grandparents on Sunday?”
“Can she come over right away please? We wanted to decorate my tree house for Halloween! And on Halloween, we will then dress up as witches and play in here!”
Jaehyun breathed in deeply. “That’s what I wanted to talk about, Jeni. Look, honey… we might not come here as often anymore.”
Jeni tilted her head in confusion. “Does Byeol stay at her grandparents’ a bit longer? Will she make it in time for Halloween?”
He hadn’t expected it to be so hard.
That was why you had agreed on not talking to your kids about what went on between you two. Because if it didn’t work out, they wouldn’t lose a parent again. And your children always came first.
But now Jaehyun stood in front of your seven year old child and had to explain to her why he wouldn’t stay for as long and visit as often anymore. How was he supposed to know that this wouldn’t hurt less?
And looking into Jeni’s eyes, he felt her pain. Not only about not seeing his daughter, her best friend, as often outside of school anymore, but also about losing another person she had grown to refer to as a caregiver.
When kids were involved, it made everything more painful, also for the parents. Jaehyun didn’t know how to do this.
“Are you going away with Byeol, Jaehyun?”
“No, of course not.”
“Then why can’t you come here as often anymore?”
Jeni’s voice turned unstable. They had spent the entire summer together, so she didn’t understand why suddenly, everything had to change when it was all so perfect in her life. In her world, it didn’t make any sense.
“Your mom is really busy, and so am I. So we don’t have as much time anymore and won’t be able to stay long.”
“Okay, I understand that!” Jeni was seemingly relieved as though she proceeded from the assumption that Jaehyun might mean a short, temporary time frame. “Then maybe next week or so when you’re not as busy with work anymore and mommy as well?”
Jaehyun couldn’t bring himself to break the truth down to her that it would probably take much longer. “Sure.”
“Okay, then I’ll decorate the house by myself, and when Byeol comes over for Halloween, she sees what I did,” Jeni babbled. “My mommy said she’ll go shopping for the witch costume with her next week, I hope she can still do that, otherwise I will have to lend her one of my other clothes, but none is really witch-like… Maybe a witch and a princess? I’ll come up with something!”
Jeni approached Jaehyun and hugged him. She was so tiny, she barely reached his waist.
“See you next week then, Jaehyun! Ah, and there is a plank loose in my tree house. Can you repair it then?”
Jaehyun had to bite down his tears on his way out.
“No!” Byeol shouted and threw her plate on the ground.
“Byeol, pick up the plate, AT ONCE!” Jaehyun scolded her with a strong voice.
“No!” she repeated just as loud. “Not before Y/N comes to buy my Halloween costume with me!”
“Don’t be so fractious now, Byeol! I already said I will go buy the costume with you myself. Now pick up the plate, eat your lunch and we will get going.”
“I don’t want to go with you!” his daughter opposed. “I want to go with Y/N!”
“Where’s the difference? It won’t matter whether she goes with you or I go. We go together, you pick the costume you like, and then we come back.”
“That’s the point! Shopping with Y/N and Jeni is so much more fun! You never seem to care at all, you always sit there only, totally bored! I don’t want to go with you alone!”
It was true that shopping wasn’t one of Jaehyun’s top activities to choose from. When you went with the girls and he got talked into accompanying you, he had fun watching you all, but wouldn’t want to actively participate himself.
“I want Y/N!” Byeol yelled again, crossed her arms and challengingly stared at her father.
“I already explained to you that Y/N and I have gotten very busy, that’s why we can’t see each other that often anymore right now.”
“Jeni said her mom is only at home after work and you too! So why not?”
Jaehyun couldn’t tell her the exact truth. That you were both cowards who wanted to avoid each other for now after having broken off. He still hoped that soon, you could move on from this and go back to being the acquaintanced parents you had been before.
“It’s not for too long.”
“You promised me that you wouldn’t make Y/N disappear from my life like mommy! And now you’re doing exactly that!”
Ouch. His sore spot.
“I want Y/N!”
She then broke out in tears and was gone within seconds, the sound of her slamming the door still echoing in Jaehyun’s ears.
Before, it has always only been “I want my mommy!”. When did that exactly change to “I want Y/N!”?
Jaehyun crouched down and started picking up the pieces of the shattered plate as well as cleaning the ground. He knew that he had to give Byeol time until she calmed down again, only then would she be willing to talk.
When he peeked through the door and slithered into her room almost non-audibly an hour later, he only heard her attack him from the bed with a,
“Go away, dad!”
Jaehyun stood insecurely by the wooden frame, not knowing how to move or react despite having laid out the words carefully beforehand.
“Jeni can still come and play with you whenever you want. You can still have sleepovers together, go to the park with friends and visit her anytime, of course. It’s just… not that often anymore and that Y/N herself cannot be around as much.”
“Why?” Byeol asked, muffling the clearness of her voice into her pillow. “If Jeni can come here, why can’t Y/N stay as well?!”
“In school, dear, you have people who go along with each other and others who don’t, right? Y/N and I are one of those people who don’t feel the need to be as close as those people who go along together anymore. For us, it’s okay if you are well and happy. Everything else doesn’t matter.”
“But I want Y/N to be here just as often!”
“Yeah, that’s just… not realizable at the moment, Byeol. Whenever you need her, she’ll be there for you, promise. But you have to learn that you can continue your life without her. Do you understand that?”
Just like her mother.
Living her life without a mother figure again, Byeol could do that. Byeol just couldn’t understand why now, that her mother was gone, you had to leave her too. Would every person she viewed as a female caregiver leave her eventually?
Byeol wondered whether everything was because of her. That no one would stay with her, that people she loved were meant to leave her.
Because she was such a bad child and didn’t deserve a mother.
It was a rather cold afternoon when Jaehyun dropped Byeol off for the Halloween party at your house. A few days before, his daughter had been willing enough to go buy a costume with him, and he tried very hard to be a good shopping partner for her.
In the end, Byeol, dressed as a little witch, presented herself in front of you with a satisfied smile on her face.
“Byeol, dear, you look amazing!”
“Thank you!” The little girl gave you a tight hug. “Where is Jeni?”
“She’s still in her room for the preparations since you’re her first guest. Go up to her, I’ll call you later for dinner.”
Byeol passed by you and left you alone with her father.
“You’re doing good?” Jaehyun asked a bit clumsily as it was his first shot for a normal conversation after your formal breakup.
Usually, you would only drop off or pick up your kids without exchanging more than greetings and goodbyes, but Jaehyun had reached a point where he was sick and tired of pretending you hated each other after weeks. He just hoped you felt the same.
Averting your eyes, you knew that he sensed how much you were struggling right now with not inviting him in. You weren’t ready yet, you signalized him with your gestures, so he would voluntarily back off.
“Okay. See you tomorrow then.”
“Jaehyun!” With loud steps, Jeni and Byeol came trampling down the stairs. “Can you stay for a bit?” Your daughter hugged him by his waist. “And repair the loose plank in my tree house? You didn’t come to the other times as you never stayed for as long again! And today I’m expecting guests, they should see a flawless tree house!”
He looked at you since you had agreed on not getting too involved in your children’s lives anymore. But Jaehyun knew how heavy handed you were ever since you had set up the tree house, and he didn’t want to disappoint Jeni.
“You promised! Please, you’re the only one who is able to!”
Despite your mutual agreement, he still decided to break it. “Sure.”
Jaehyun felt your angry glare in his neck when he willingly followed Jeni to the garden, but he didn’t care about what you two wanted or not. This wasn’t for you, this was for Jeni, for your children only.
From your wall closet, he got out a hammer and screws, then followed the girls into the garden. Jeni had decorated the house with artificial cobwebs, plastic spiders and orange lanterns.
With a few grips, Jaehyun had fixed the loose plank so that the girls’ tree house was all up and running again for Halloween.
“All ready, girls!”
“Thank you, Jaehyun!”
“Thank you, daddy!” Shifting to her best friend, Byeol then added, “I told you your daddy was incapable! My daddy can do everything!”
“I know,” Jeni whispered back. “Yesterday, he tried to fix the sink, and it got so bad that my granny had to call a plumber!”
Furrowing his brows, Jaehyun asked, “Who are you talking about? Your father?”
Jeni was quick to cover her mouth with hands. “Mommy told me not to say a word to you! But…” She slowly let her arms sink to her sides. “Lately… she has my father over very often, and we have to do things with him like… going to the amusement park. Or the indoor playground. But I don’t like him as much as you, Jaehyun! Why can’t you come back to us, Jaehyun? Why is he here?”
Unwanted, Jaehyun immediately felt his heart sink. It seemed like he weighed double his amount and additionally carried a backpack with the same kilos on his back. The way back to you inside seemed endless as he tried to let it sink that you were bonding with Jeni’s father again. He just couldn’t wrap his head around why.
“Is it true?” Jaehyun interrogated you when he found you in the kitchen. “Are you back with your ex? Jeni’s father?”
“It’s quite none of your business, isn’t it?” Without looking up, you continued preparing the food for the party.
“Y/N, you’re nuts!” Jaehyun scolded you. “He has never been here! He left town, he left you, he left… her! And one day, he’ll do it all over again! Do you want to experience that?!”
You slammed the knife on the kitchen counter and furiously turned around to him. “Just like you, huh? You also came into our lives and left me… left us. You’re not better than him. The only difference is that he is willing to genuinely try again as a family. And I appreciate that.”
Jaehyun swallowed. “You mean with marriage and all that.”
“With marriage and all that,” you repeated and continued, with a lower voice, “He stood in front of my door one day, apologizing for everything he’s done as he was still young and inexperienced. He genuinely wants to start anew as a family… with me and Jeni. And I am willing to let him... to try again.”
Jaehyun knew that you had always dreamed of becoming a real family like in the books. Now that he had admitted to not being the right one for it, he couldn’t blame you for actually moving on and fulfilling that dream with someone else.
He just hadn’t expected it to hurt him so much.
It must be the dream for you to reunite with Jeni’s father, your boyfriend from university. A family like you had always wanted. In the end, everything had worked out fine for you.
And he was all alone again.
“Fine.” Jaehyun approached the door. “I’ll pick Byeol up tomorrow. Bye.”
As he walked to his car, Jaehyun saw a tall male figure nearing your entrance door with a bouquet of flowers in his hands. He couldn’t help but to hide in the shade and watch the man having the door getting opened by you and you hugging him like you had only done it with Jaehyun himself.
It hurt him even more to see you so happy as he knew that he could have been the guy.
Byeol was sitting on the couch that Saturday morning and watched the usual cartoons that were streamed on TV on the weekends at 7am. She had prepared a bowl with cereal for herself and was all up and running already, ready for soccer in the park with her friends from school, but her father just hadn’t awoken to drive her yet.
Byeol didn’t budge when the clock struck 8am. When it approached 9am though, she started to feel anxious as she wanted to meet her friends by 9.30 and they needed 15 minutes to get there.
By 9.15am, she couldn’t sit still anymore as anger grew inside of her. If her father had forgotten to set the alarm again, she would make sure herself the next time that he was all set for the next day!
“Daddy!” Byeol hammered with her fists against his door. “Daddy, wake up! Wake up, daddy, we’re going to be late!”
Byeol placed her ear against the door, but couldn’t hear a thing. Just when she put her fingers on the handle, the door opened from the inside, but from the room peaked a female face Byeol had never encountered before.
“Pscht!” the woman hushed her. “Your father is still asleep!”
Byeol couldn’t understand where that woman had suddenly come from, why her hair was all tousled and why she was only wearing a shirt thrice her size. She just remembered how somehow, a long time ago, she had seen this happening on an almost daily basis already.
Without thinking twice, Byeol ran out of the room and left the flat in a storm.
“Where is Byeol, mommy?”
You looked around, but couldn’t find Jaehyun or his child anywhere. The children from school had all gathered on the field and wanted to start playing soccer already as it was a cold, but clear and sunny day.
“I don’t know, dear.” You patted your daughter’s head. “Go to the others already, yeah? Byeol will sit out this round, but I will call her father.”
“Okay, mommy! And father? Will he come? He promised to teach me how to kick penalties!”
“Yes, he’ll come later, don’t worry.”
You watched your daughter approaching her friends when you now dealt with two problems: Jeni’s missing father and your daughter’s missing best friend.
Jeni’s father had promised to be by the park at 9.30am, but it was almost 10 already, and there was no sight of him. He neither called you back nor answered your messages. If you didn't know it better, you swore that he was still asleep, drunk from last night.
But this was the ex boyfriend from before. He had promised to change, and you believed in him.
Just when you wanted to turn to deal with the second problem, Jaehyun’s name popped up on your phone itself.
“Thank god, Y/N!” Jaehyun breathed heavily into your ear. “Is Byeol with you?”
“No, I thought you two would come together, but you aren’t here and the game-”
“Listen, Y/N…” From the way Jaehyun spoke, you could hear that he was currently running and desperate to explain a situation he couldn’t quite grasp himself yet. “Byeol just went out all by herself about half an hour ago, I don’t quite know…”
“But how?” you asked. “Why?”
“I don’t know,” he blared. “I… just tell me, is she with you?”
You shook your head. “No, she isn’t here.”
“Jaehyun… what happened?”
“I… It’s just… I-” The sound of a car door closing was audible to you, and then silence, interrupted by Jaehyun’s irregular breathing. “I did something bad.”
You didn’t ask him what he had done. Byeol was top priority now. “Do you have any idea where she could be?”
“Yeah. Her mother’s grave. Since you’re closer to the cemetery, can you drive ahead and-”
“Got it. See you there.”
After hanging up, you entrusted your daughter’s care with one of the mothers, made a dart to your car and drove to the cemetery in such a hurry that you ignored all red lights, other road traffic acts and nearly took a granny with you.
By the time you arrived by the cemetery ten minutes later, you had committed at least five crimes, but these offenses didn’t even come into your head as you were only fixated on finding Jaehyun’s daughter.
You wouldn’t be able to forgive yourself if something happened to Byeol as you loved her just as much as your own daughter.
And when you finally spotted her tiny figure, sitting in front of her mother's grave with hunched shoulders, you took this moment of relief to collect all your thoughts again.
There she was. And she was well.
You didn’t mind your burning lungs, your sweaty forehead and your trembling hands at this moment. The pain was secondary now, getting replaced by pure bliss as you closed to Byeol from behind, crouched down and gave her a tight hug.
“It’s me, Byeol.”
“It’s odd,” she whispered as she hugged you back. “Y/N, I called for my mommy to return. But instead, you came.”
“I’m sorry that I’m not your mommy.” You slowly let go of her, and immediately encountered the pain getting mirrored in her eyes. “I’m really sorry for that.”
“No, I’m happy that you came too,” she backpedaled. “My mommy probably sent you.”
“Yeah.” You nodded.
“I can’t find my mommy anymore though, Y/N,” Byeol complained. “My daddy said when he wears the ring, these women would stay away. But they came back today. So I have to get my mommy back. But…” Tears burnt behind her eyes, but she was still reluctant to let them flow. “She won’t come back. I cannot see her anymore. Why won’t she come back, Y/N? Where is my mommy? Am I such a bad child that she won’t come back to me?”
So this was the story behind it. Jaehyun started dating or sleeping around again, and Byeol still couldn’t handle it. She wanted to imagine her mother again, that had been her way of coping with the situation before. But since she had let go of her mother some time ago and began to live her own life, she wasn’t able to recomplement her in her life anymore.
You just couldn’t sit there, watching her cry after her dead mother again.
“Remember?” You smiled. “Your mommy sent me.”
Byeol looked at you with big, glistening eyes. “Really?”
With care, you took her into an embrace and rocked her gently in your arms. “When you need to talk to your mother, talk to me and I will listen. When you’re sad and want to cry, come to me and I will dry your tears. When you’re happy, share your feelings with me and we’ll laugh together. Whatever you feel, I feel it too, and so does your mother. You’re not alone. She might not be physically here with you anymore, but I am. I will never leave you.”
You felt her small arms tightening around you. “You promise?”
“I promise.” You stroked her hair. “I’m sorry that I have been gone for so long. I won’t ever leave your side again.”
“Even though I’m a bad child?”
“You’re not a bad child, Byeol. And even when you behave like one sometimes, it won’t ever make your father, your mother or me love you less, remember that.”
You hated yourself for only realizing then how much your actions had hurt your children. Ever since you and Jaehyun had met, your lives had gotten entangled and from then on, it was only side by side or separately.
You chose to continue living side by side.
And so did Jaehyun when he spotted you two arm and arm. When you had children, sometimes it wasn’t about what was best for you, but what was best for the children.
If that meant for him to look for a new mother for his daughter instead of casually dating and for you to approach a marriage with your ex boyfriend, then be it.
As long as your children were happy.
“I heard you’re seeing someone who you have already introduced to Byeol.”
You were standing with Jaehyun in your garden where Jeni and Byeol played soccer. It was freezing cold, but the two girls insisted on practicing kicks with Jaehyun since they found he was so good at it.
“I formally introduced her to Byeol last week like you recommended. Until then, I haven’t brought her over. Byeol was wary at first, but they’re warming up with each other, it seems. I’m hopeful.”
From the side, you caught him smiling, and you smiled too. Everything was fine as you had settled with co-parenting your children and getting along better than before.
Well, everything should be fine for you. But it by far wasn’t. For you only.
Even though the beginning had started out fine, Jeni’s father quickly relapsed into his old habits again, cancelling meetings, not calling back, forgetting birthdays and holidays. You still wanted to desperately believe in your little family, but with each bypassing day that he didn’t turn up, your hope dwindled.
You just couldn’t bring yourself to admit this to Jaehyun.
And so, you couldn’t be happy for him despite wanting it so badly, because he truly deserved it.
“Isn’t Jeni’s father coming?”
You shook your head, not uttering another explanation, and Jaehyun left it like that. He had long known, you were sure. You were only glad that he didn’t make you explain.
“Did you see, Jaehyun?” Jeni came jumping into your direction. “My kicks are so long now! You taught me well”
“Well done, dear!” he praised her.
“When is my father coming, mommy?” she then directed her question at you. “Maybe he can practice with me as well since he promised. Why isn’t he here yet?”
You froze. “Today, dear, he won’t be-”
“He’s stuck in a traffic jam,” Jaehyun cut you off. “He won’t be able to make it, but it’s not his fault since there has been an accident.”
“Oh… okay.” Jeni then looked up to Jaehyun. “Will you then practice with us again, Jaehyun?”
While they were playing around, you returned to the house to prepare dinner. When the girls were in bed hours later and your parents had also withdrawn to their room, it was only Jaehyun and you then.
“Okay, I should better get going.”
“A-... about before!” you stopped him. “I… thank you.”
You didn’t need to elaborate. He knew what you meant. “Next time… just don’t choose a guy who you aren’t a priority for. Because, honestly Y/N, you deserve someone who always puts you and your daughter first. Above everything else. And no reason should come in between to ever change that. Don’t settle for less.”
With a slight tone of provocation, you told him, “We all want to settle for the best. But sometimes in life, you can’t have everything, am I right?”
“I believe that we can get damn close to it. That’s what I wish for you, Y/N.”
You also wished that you would be able to say it back. But you couldn’t, because for you, Jaehyun was still the only one, and everyone else just seemed like a consolation prize.
Sometimes in life, that was everything that one got.
“Wow, I didn't expect you to take me to such an exquisite restaurant!”
“For you, only the best.”
Jaehyun gave his girlfriend a kiss on the cheek and pulled out the chair so she was able to sit. Seating himself on the one at her opposite, the waitress came to give them the menu. They wanted to celebrate two months of dating, and even though it meant nothing to Jaehyun actually, he knew that it was important to her, so he had given in.
His girlfriend wasn’t adamant to move in, marry and become a family. She didn’t mind him still wearing his wedding ring, and she certainly didn’t mind his daughter as well as his past. For him, she seemed like the perfect partner, casual and free spirited.
Yet, he considered their relationship dull.
He wasn’t able to quite put a finger on it. He just wasn’t quite feeling it with her. But if that came with the priority of not marrying someone ever again, then he would settle for it, for a consolation prize.
“Excuse me,” Jaehyun then apologized when he felt his phone vibrating and spotted your name. “Just a second. Hello?”
“Jaehyun!” he heard you sobbing into your phone when he made his way to the lobby. “I just… don’t know what to do…”
“Y/N, what happened?!”
“Jeni’s fever just won’t sink, it’s only getting higher, my parents are currently on vacation with my car, and her father is not here, I’m all alone with her, but her fever keeps increasing with each bypassing hour, I’m just so scared, I don’t know what to do!”
From Byeol, he had already heard that Jeni had been missing in school for the past two days due to a cold. Since it was the middle of winter, this was nothing unusual to pass on by children. He had just been unaware about how serious it had gotten.
“You have to bring her to the hospital now, Y/N, just in case.”
“But my car has been taken b-”
“I’ll drive you. I’ll be there soon.”
Returning to his table, his girlfriend was welcoming him with a smile. “What was it?”
“I have to go now.”
“What?!” she called out indignantly. “But we just arrived!”
“I know.” Jaehyun reached for his jacket and put it on. “It’s just… a friend of mine has an emergency, and I cannot leave her alone. I’m sorry.”
“So you’re just leaving me here?”
“I don’t have another choice.”
“I’m sure your female friend can take care of herself,” she sulked and crossed her arms in front of her chest. “She’s an adult for sure, why would she call you and not her other friends or parents?”
“She’s the mother of Byeol’s best friend and it’s about her child. If you had children, you’d know that they always come first.”
“And I don’t?” she complained. “I’m not your priority?”
“At this moment? No, you’re not,” Jaehyun admitted.
Later that night, you were sitting with Jaehyun in his car, driving back to your house.
You looked around to the backseat, encountering the relaxed face of your sleeping daughter that had been in so much pain before, your heart now finally at ease after she had been treated in the hospital.
“Honestly, I cannot thank you enough, Jaehyun.”
“That was a given. You would have done the same. When Byeol ran away, you dropped everything to look for her,” he stated. “I wouldn’t have forgiven myself if something happened to Jeni either.”
You bit on your bottom lip, hesitant to let the following words out, yet you did, “Jeni’s father… he’s gone.”
“I know.” Just like you had expected. “Where to?”
Jaehyun blinked a few times, totally confused. “You mean…”
“He’s gone again. This time, probably forever, even changing continents.” You shifted your head to the window, watching the colourful lights passing by as you drove through the streets. “You were right. Nothing has changed.”
Jaehyun reached out his hand to touch yours. “I’m sorry about that. But considering the fact that he had never been there when Jeni needed him was enough for me to know. Don’t blame yourself though, Y/N. You only want the best for Jeni. And you have considered him the best for her. We all make mistakes.”
“It saddens me only to know that…” You couldn’t suppress your tears anymore as you let them flow, out of Jaehyun’s sight. “...to know that the best for her would be you.”
“But I am here,” Jaehyun defended himself. He had known you long enough to sense when you were truly sad which was why he squeezed your hand, the other clasped around the steering wheel. “No matter how many men come and leave, I will always be here.”
“But not as a father for her.”
“Like I said… Just because we stopped dating doesn’t mean I cannot be a father figure for her.”
You snorted and pulled your hand away from his. “Either we go all in or don’t at all. You can’t just pretend to be a father for her when one day, someone else will take this place, so she will lose a father again. It doesn’t work like this, Jaehyun. When your girlfriend came into the picture, you also told me to withdraw, and I did. But do you realize how unhealthy and toxic this kind of behaviour will be for our children? Changing and exchanging caregivers all the time?”
“I truly don’t know what you want from me, Y/N!”
“I…” You gulped. “I want you to marry me.”
Jaehyun exhaled deeply. “You know that’s not in the books for me.”
“What are you so afraid of? Why won’t you take this step with me?” You furiously turned around to him, facing him with tear-filled eyes. “There is no one better in the world for us than you, and you just know that it’s true. So tell me… why won’t you marry me?”
“Why is a piece of paper so important to you anyway?” he retorted, his fingers tightening around the steering wheel. “It’s only a certificate, nothing more! If two people love each other, why can’t it be enough? Why do you need to make such a big deal out of it?”
“Because I don’t want to be disposed of so easily again,” you cried. “I don’t want someone to come into my life, shatter everything and leave. I want someone to stay, someone who swears to the heavens that we are the most important people in his world and who would rather die than leave us behind.”
“If I swear this to you only, can’t that be enough?” Jaehyun asked quietly.
You knew that, if you agreed now, it would change everything.
But no, for you, it wasn’t enough.
When he pulled over by your house, you got your daughter out of the car and carried her to the entrance.
“Goodnight, Jaehyun,” you said.
“Are you sure?” he repeated his question. “I can give you everything else that you want, Y/N. Can’t that be enough?”
“No,” you confirmed with trembling lips. “That’s not enough.”
Byeol was watching the woman with wary eyes.
She couldn’t comprehend why you were suddenly gone and this woman had appeared instead. Her company was not fun at all. She got tired of games very quickly, wore high heels to watch soccer and couldn’t cook. Yet, her father insisted on her spending time with Byeol. She just couldn’t understand why. You were a much better company than her.
“And this card means, you have to sit out for a round,” Byeol explained, but the woman hadn’t even listened to her.
“When is your bedtime again?” she asked the little girl.
Her eyes searched for the clock, and a disappointed expression spread over her face when she got the validation that until then, it was still an hour.
“Let me see what your father is cooking!” she then declared and jumped out of her seat.
“Kimchi stew,” Byeol impeded dryly. “Now sit down, I want to explain the game to you.”
With a long sight, the woman leaned back against the couch while Byeol fiddled with the board to bring it into the right position.
She slipped with her finger in the process though and brought a figure to fall. To prevent it from dropping, Byeol quickly caught it with her hand, but touched the board mid-motion so unluckily that she lifted it up with her elbow and threw the wine glass, that was filled with red wine and placed rather clumsily at the edge of the board, over.
The next thing the little girl saw was the woman in front of her with a big, red stain on her white skirt and a pain on her forearm where she had grabbed Byeol and was now shaking her.
“Look what you did, you naughty little girl! My beautiful skirt!” she screamed. “Do you know how expensive that was?!”
“Ouch!” Byeol complained and tried to free herself. “You’re hurting me!”
“How will you make up for this? Should I shorten your pocket money?!”
“I don’t even know what that is!” Byeol screamed back. “Now let me go!”
“Not before you apologize, you brat!”
“You’re hurting me!” Byeol then cried. “Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!”
She didn’t even notice how the woman let go of her the next moment, that was how shocked she still was by her aggressive reaction over a small accident.
Jaehyun, who had emerged from the kitchen, couldn’t believe what scene was playing out in front of his eyes. How in the world could this woman ever think of hurting his beloved Byeol?
“We’re all fine,” the woman said to him. “See, we’re all good. It was just a small accident, nothing more. We’re all good.”
“Where did she hurt you?” Jaehyun asked as he kneeled down to his sobbing daughter. “Here?”
Byeol nodded as Jaehyun pulled up her sleeve and spotted a red mark the size of a hand.
“That was nothing!” the woman tried to explain. “Only an accident.”
“Grab your things and go.”
“What?” she returned, perplexed.
“Leave my house. At once.”
When the door closed behind them, Jaehyun sat his daughter on the couch and gave her something to cool her arm.
“I hate this woman, daddy!” Byeol complained with dried tears. “She’s so mean!”
“I know.” He gave her a hug, guilt washing over him to even have brought such a woman into their lives. “I’m so sorry, you won’t see her ever again. I promise.”
They had matched so perfectly, or so he thought. What had slipped by him was probably that she hated children and would never be able to love his daughter like a real mother. Jaehyun had only searched for women that fitted him. He had never thought of Byeol.
If all women who matched his criteria were like this, was there even a fitting woman left for them?
“Whatever you promise, you always keep a lifetime, right daddy?”
“You promised me that Y/N won’t ever disappear again like my mommy. Where is she now? Can she come back instead of that mean woman?”
He inhaled sharply. “You always know that I try to keep my promises for a lifetime. But sometimes… it’s not possible. I can’t… give you a new mother, Byeol.”
“Why?” she asked with a curious gaze. “Y/N can always be here like before. Why can’t she be my new mommy then?”
“Because.... I don’t want you to lose another mother. Listen…” Jaehyun cupped her face and tried to lay out his concerns for her carefully that he had been trying to keep hidden from you all along, “When you get a new mommy, I cannot forgive myself if something happens to her ever again. If you lose another mother, we will have to go through the same pain again. I cannot let this happen anymore.”
“But daddy… Y/N won’t go away like mommy did. She promised me, and I believe her.”
His wife had also promised to never leave them. Yet, she did. And they hadn’t been able to do anything about it. Jaehyun wanted to spare his daughter from experiencing the pain again.
“I want to believe her too, Byeol.”
“Where is my father?” Jeni asked you.
You had all gathered in the sports hall that day to watch a soccer match between the classes, and your daughter had applied for the striker position. Now, the game was nearing the end with Jeni having to go for the deciding penalty kick, but her father wasn’t here to witness.
You hadn’t brought it over your heart to tell her that he had settled in America now. You didn’t know how to break it down to her that yet again, a father figure had left.
“Jeni, listen…” You kneeled down to her and stroked over her hair. The teacher was already calling for her to return to the field, but she refused as long as her father wasn’t here yet. “It’s that-”
“He won’t come, right?” She smiled slightly. “Never again.”
“Yes, honey,” you finally admitted. “He won’t come. Never again.”
“That’s okay. He was never there anyway.” With a happier mood, she continued, “Byeol said the strange woman is now gone forever, too. She hurt her, so her father sent her away forever. She wants you to come back. Can’t we just go back to how we were last summer? You, me, Beol and Jaehyun? That was the best time of my life.”
“Jeni…” You gently brushed over your daughter’s cheek with your thumb. “You know I only want you to be happy.”
“What matters is who will be by your side, mommy, nothing else. And I want you, Byeol and Jaehyun with me.”
“Sometimes, it’s not that easy.”
“But why? For you adults, everything is complicated!”
You didn’t want to agree about how right she was.
From the other side of the hall, a tall male figure appeared with a little girl in his arms.
“Jeni, I’m here!” Jaehyun made his way through the crowd and settled where you were currently talking to your daughter. He let Byeol down and walked over to Jeni who needed to be by the field soon. “I thought you would need a small cheer squad.”
Eagerly, Jeni nodded. “You came, Jaehyun!”
“Of course I came!” His eyes had been shifted to you during this sentence before he directed his words to Jeni again. “I was the one who taught you how to kick penalties, so I thought you would need additional tips!”
Jaehyun took Jeni by her hand and walked her over to the field where they exchanged a few further words before Jeni had to go for the final score.
“You know what, Y/N?” Byeol turned to you. Unknowingly, she had slipped her hand into yours. “When I told my daddy that Jeni expected her father to come today, he immediately drove us here. He was so sure he wouldn’t come and said Jeni needed support.”
You watched Jaehyun standing by the sideline, cheering on Jeni.
He had always been here, no matter whether your ex was or not. Jaehyun was always here, by your side.
He had taught Jeni how to swim, built and repaired her tree house, he drove her to the hospital, he would teach her how to maintain a car when she was older, and now he was standing here, cheering on her like she was his own daughter.
Jaehyun had been more of a father to your daughter than anyone else ever would be. What else mattered in the end?
“My daddy doesn’t want to marry, because he doesn’t want another mommy to be gone like my mommy. I don’t care whether you and my daddy marry or not, Y/N. And Jeni doesn’t either. In the end, what matters is who is by your side, right?”
These words seemed so familiar. “Who is… by my side?”
If anyone was by your side all along, then it was Jaehyun.
Out of all people, it was always Jaehyun.
“Are the kids asleep?” you asked.
“Yeah. So I’ll get going now.”
“I…” You stood by the stairs after Jaehyun had pulled Jeni’s door shut behind him. “Just wanted to say thank you. For that you were there today for Jeni. And all the other times. Unlike her father.”
“That’s… just me.” He shrugged. “That has always been me and will always be me, Y/N. I would do anything for you and Jeni. I just… can’t give you what you want.”
“You’re what I want,” you finally brought over your lips. “This… this life together. This is what I want. You’re more of a father for Jeni and a husband for me than anyone else could ever be. I always thought that… it wouldn’t be enough. But it is. It’s enough. It’s really enough, I see that clearly now.”
Jaehyun nearly couldn’t believe his ears. “But you want to get married.”
“And you would be willing to take the whole marriage thing off the table? For me?” he wanted to make sure.
You inhaled deeply, and Jaehyun was so scared for a moment that you’d say no again, but unexpectedly, you nodded.
“If you promise to commit to me, to be with me for as long as you are willing to make it work, to always be by my and Jeni’s side… then yes, I would be willing to take the whole marriage thing off the table. In the end, it doesn’t matter. But what matters is who is by our side.”
If Jaehyun was scared of losing another wife and wanted to spare Byeol the pain of grieving after a beloved person again, then you didn’t have to be selfish about your own desires as you hadn’t been through the same situation.
A piece of paper that testified your relationship didn’t only mean much to you like you had first assumed, but to Jaehyun as well, probably even more.
For you, it was a vow that promised a lifetime of happiness. For him, it was the commitment to carry his future wife to her grave. And he just wasn’t ready for that yet again, no matter when that would be.
“I’m just… afraid that one day, you’ll regret it,” Jaehyun expressed his concerns. “That one day, you’ll wake up and realize that this isn’t the life you wanted.”
“I don’t care whether you marry me one day or not. All I want is for you to be with me and Jeni, together with Byeol. You’re here, and you’re better than every other man for me could ever be. If marriage is not in the books for you, then be it. As long as you promise me to stay by my side forever. That is the life I want.”
Jaehyun approached you and embraced your face. Bringing your head up, he looked you deeply in the eyes, the expression he was giving you making your heart flutter.
“I promise. And I promise you everything else you want me to promise.”
The kiss he gave you tasted full of love. And even though he hadn’t said these words aloud yet, you sensed that he was there already. He just needed a little more time like with everything else. But knowing Jaehyun, you didn’t mind waiting for a bit longer.
With a giggle from you that wasn’t able to make your lips part, he had lifted you off the ground and carried you to your bedroom where he placed you onto the mattress. His lips were still pressed against yours, continuing the slow kiss in a romantic way that grew more passionate as it progressed.
Each fickle of Jaehyun's tongue shot warmth and happiness throughout your body, filling you with everything you had been craving for ever since your breakup, everything you desperately needed now and that only he could give you, no other man in the world.
It was a long, sweet kiss, having a healing effect on Jaehyun’s broken heart that had nearly lost all hope in true love. A true relationship with you sounded absolutely blissful to him now, it didn’t scare him at all anymore. He kissed you like you were everything he ever wanted in his life. You probably also were at that moment.
As his lips kept you occupied and his tongue danced languidly with yours, he could see exactly what it would mean to let you love him fully, to be loved again so unconditionally. It would heal him in many more ways, repairing every wrecked part of his frayed soul – something that someone should have done a long time ago.
Maybe, his heart had just been waiting for someone like you.
Jaehyun hovered above you as your lips parted, slightly swollen from the long kiss. He brushed his fingers over your hair, sweeping a strand out of your face to validate that you were on the same page. That he wasn’t the only one feeling so much… love.
And you felt exactly the same.
You fluttered your lids open, studying Jaehyun’s face, every detail of it, and captured that moment in your memories. His jeans rode low on his hips and his muscles rippled under his shirt as he moved on top of you. You lifted your hand and touched his bottom lip, and he pressed a kiss against your fingertips in return.
Jaehyun propped his one arm against the mattress while his free hand slid down to your waist, portraying your curves with every little flaw that you probably hated but he adored. Your dress had skimmed up halfway to your legs, and he traced his fingers over your naked skin, relishing at the softness of your skin.
You sighed and pressed yourself harder against him as his thumbs grazed the silky outsides of your thighs, and he took his sweet time retreating before he began to kiss your thighs up to your waist. Inch for inch, he placed soft kisses along your sensitive skin, inhaling your sweet scent which got more intense as he moved upwards with his mouth.
Jaehyun’s tongue flicked over the area around your belly button, causing you to giggle quietly, and he smirked, relieved that you still enjoyed being intimate with him and that he still clearly remembered what you liked. His hands were fiddling with the bottom hem of your dress, shoving it up a bit further with every kiss that was placed around your belly.
You seated yourself up, letting him pull the clothing over your head and softly placed you back onto the pillows where you got rid of your underwear. Jaehyun’s free hands were now caressing your inner thighs, stroking them with such a tenderness that made you shiver.
“Please…” you breathed against his lips, “don’t stop.”
“We have all the time in the world now.”
Jaehyun fumbled with the belt of his jeans, struggling with it before he was finally able to open the clasp and dispose of that piece of clothing along with his boxer briefs. You held onto his shoulders as he crawled on top of you again after having taken off his shirt also.
Skin on skin, you now lay naked on top of each other, your arms around his neck, and you were having your gazes locked for a very long time as your feelings as well as reality settled in.
This. This was real.
Jaehyun hadn’t believed that after his wife, he could love someone ever again just as much or even more. But yet here he was, looking at another woman and wishing that he was able to experience this moment over and over again for the rest of his life.
And this time, he didn’t have a bad conscience about it.
He entered you slowly, sliding into you with rather jumpy motions while one hand was angling your hip for better access. You bit your lip as you felt him filling you all up, rolling your head back the moment he started moving inside of you.
The bed creaked quietly as you got gently shoved along the sheets, your ankles hooked behind Jaehyun’s back. He planted tender kisses all over your cheek, muttering sweet nothings into your ear as his hips grinded into yours, first delicately, then more focused on rhythm and steadiness.
Jaehyun’s fingers then buried into your bosom as he brought you up, you helping by lifting yourself off the bed with the support of your arms, and settled on top of him in a seating position. His hands stroked your bare back, and you angled into his touch before you started bouncing up and down on him while gripping onto his shoulders.
Caressing the side of your neck and then wandering down to suck on your nipples, Jaehyun met up with your thrusts halfway until you found the same steady rhythm, and you leaned backwards, one hand still searching for support by slinging around him, the other propped against the mattress behind you.
Your pacing increased as you rolled your hips into his, feeling your clit getting stimulated at the same time, and you found yourself moaning his name in a never ending loop. At one point, you could have sworn that Jaehyun was calling out yours as well, but you weren’t so sure as ecstasy had already clouded your entire mind.
As your orgasm rolled over you in pleasurable waves, you held onto Jaehyun like a lifeline, every inch of your naked bodies entangled with each other, as close as two people could get. Your entire body shook, but his arms were firm around you, assuring you that he was still there although you had probably flown off to another universe, that was how intense it was for you.
Jaehyun came with long thrusts some time after you had calmed down already, and you held him as close as he had been holding you, even throughout the entire night when he was sound asleep in your arms.
Somehow, you still couldn’t believe it. But the next morning, he was still there.
Like he always was.
You stretched yourself, still groggy from sleep as Jaehyun, who had put his arm around you, pulled you closer to him.
As you opened your eyes, you saw that your fingers were entangled, and you smiled. But something was odd about this picture. You blinked and ripped your eyes open as you realized that you were wearing a golden ring on your left hand. And it was not the fake one you had been using all along.
This was a real engagement ring with a diamond on top.
“What the-?!” You shot up from the mattress, and held your hand against the morning light. “What’s this?!”
“Okay, hear me out!” Jaehyun grabbed you by your thighs and shifted you around to him. “I’ve always wanted to marry you. I’ve always wanted to exchange your fake wedding ring with a real one. From me. Ever since we first met.”
You hadn’t known that Jaehyun thought of you this way. All this time, you had assumed that his feelings just weren’t enough to even say that he loved you. That he had seen you in this light all along touched you very deeply. You were so overwhelmed with this entire situation, you started trembling.
“I started to get so… afraid of losing another wife. Of Byeol losing another mother. No matter whether now or when we’re old and grey. I didn’t want to carry another wife to her grave. But for me, there will be no better wife and for Byeol no better mother other than you. I see this now clearly as well. No matter whether you’re my girlfriend or my wife. Losing you would hurt either way, and if we have the most blissful time until then, I am willing to marry again. Because I love you.”
“You told me that for the first time.” Your voice was shaking.
“I know.” Warily, Jaehyun asked, “And you? Do you love me too?”
“Of course I do!”
You placed your left hand with the ring on your knee while you simultaneously wiped a tear from your eye. Behind the curtain of tears of joy, you could barely see the jewelry anymore.
The confirmation of your engagement.
You didn’t have to pretend anymore. This wasn’t a dream.
“Do you… truly mean it?”
“Yes.” Jaehyun placed a kiss on your forehead. “I want to marry you, too.”
From the street, Jaehyun could hear a car honking. It was his cue to go.
“It doesn’t mean that I will ever forget you. I will never be able to, and a part of me will continue loving you forever,” he spoke to his late wife’s grave.
Crouching down, Jaehyun placed the golden wedding ring that bound him to her next to the flowers on top of the grave.
She lived in their memories, in old pictures, and of course in their hearts. She lived in Byeol whenever the girl smiled, because she was continuously growing to be the spitting image of her mother. She lived in Jaehyun when he passed by his sideboard and looked at an old photo of all three of them. She would never vanish.
When Byeol was sad, she put her hand on her shoulder. When Jaehyun achieved an aim, she was present to share his happiness. She would continue living with them all along, and simple items couldn’t be compared to the love they still felt for her.
“Please take good care of it.” Jaehyun arose again. “I’m not scared anymore. I am willing to take this step again, because the years I spent with you were the happiest in my life, and I want to experience that again, the good, the bad. All of it.”
Yes, the pain over her loss would never fully vanish. But they had learned to forge it into something that didn’t hinder them from living their lives anymore.
Turning around, Jaehyun saw his daughter running through the grass into his direction, her white flower girl dress swirling in the breeze.
“Daddy, Jeni’s grandfather said you should hurry up or he drives away without you!”
“I’ll be coming!” Jaehyun took her into his arms and carried her. “Will you say hello to your mommy very quickly?
“Hello mommy, have you been fine?” She waved at the gravestone.
“Shall we tell your mommy what we’re doing today, Byeol?”
“Daddy is going to get married, mommy!” And quieter, she whispered into her father’s ear a moment later, “Mommy said that she’s very happy for you!”
“She is? Then I’m relieved. Shall we get going now?”
“Yes!” Byeol pumped her fist in the air.
As Jaehyun carried her from the cemetery, the little girl looked over her father’s shoulder one more time and murmured,
And Byeol swore that she saw her late mother one last time, sitting on her gravestone and waving back at them.
JENO FINGERING PLEASE
tw porn links
bye i JUST FUCKING KNOW jeno is the type to suck on your nipples as he roughly fingers you and plays with your clit. source: trust me bro.
he would start off by slowly inserting one of his long fingers in your wet hole, using his other hand to rub your clit vigorously as you moan and try to wiggle away from him. “stay still, whore.”
you would gasp and clench around his digit before he added another finger, thrusting harder as your hips quivered and you screamed his name.
“i know you love daddy’s fingers.”
link 1. link 2. link 3. link 4.
omgg can you make a part two of that mark fic where he gets turned on by yn calling him baby?? i really love your writing sm!!
genre: smut and fluff
You giggle to yourself as you stumble into the living room. “Where’s my husband at?” You giggle and stumble yourself into the kitchen. “Hm.. he’s not here.. oh where could he be?” You used a dolly tone and then grabbed a wine bottle, popping it open and chugging some.
The lights to the kitchen turns on which scare you. “Y/n?” You turn to see Mark tiredly standing tbh the light switches. “Oh, mark. Hey, baby? Did i wake you up? I’m sorry, baby.” Mark slightly shivers at the nickname.
The way it drunkly rolled off your tongue made him feel shy. And turned on.
“Want some, baby? It’s the red wine from two nights ago.. still good.” Mark shakes his head and crosses his legs. “Come sit.” You pat the counter next to you.
Mark complies and walks over to you, climbing on the counter and sitting.
“My poor baby, look so tired.” You coo, frizzling with his fluffy curly hair. You set the wine down next to him and you lean in, giving his lips a nice smooch. “How’re your lips so soft, baby? You’ve got the softest lips ever.” You say, brushing your thumb over his bottom lip.
He gets shy and turns his head with a flustered grin. “Aw, ‘smy baby shy?” You tease and rub his thigh until you brush your hand against something hard.
“Oh.” Was all you could say when you looked down and noticed his bulge.
“D—don’t look.” He mumbles and covered his bulge. “Why not, baby?” You tilt your head. “Cause.. don’t want you to see something you caused.” He whispers, looking down at his lap. “Oh, I caused it? I can fix it for you?” You suggest with a sly smirk.
He looks up and just nods. “Please?” He whimpers. “Oh, of course, baby.” You hook your fingers around his waist band and you pull on it until it slips right off.
You slightly laugh at the sight of his hard cock standing up proudly. “H—hurts, it, it hurts.” He whimpers and scrunches his face up.
He lets out a long airy moan as you grab ahold of his cock. “Oh fuck.” He gulps as you lay wet kisses all over his cock. “Y—y/n,” he whines out when you place one last kiss on his tip. “Yes, baby?” He groans at the nickname.
“Don’t, please don’t..” he sounds like he’s gonna cry. “Don’t what, baby?” You stroke him, slowly. “Don’t call me that, please?” You rub his tip with your thumb, smearing the precum around his tip. “Don’t call you what? Baby?” He nods against the cabinet door.
“Why not, baby? Does it turn you on?” He nods again. “Y—yes, it does.” He grunts out. “Oh, poor baby. Is that why you’re so hard? Cause I called you my baby just like I did earlier this morning?” He nods, his breathing becoming uneven.
You laugh and wrap your mouth around him, taking him by surprise. “God—! Y/n!” He gasps each time as he calls out for you. You look up at him through your lashes as he bucks his hips a few times.
He holds himself up as you take him down your throat, his cock just sits in your throat as tears trickle down your cheeks.
You pull off, gasping for air. Several strings of saliva following your mouth as you pull away from his saliva covered cock. You wipe your chin where drool had dribbled down to.
“You okay?” He asks, gently grabbing your jaw so you’d look at him. “Perfectly fine, baby.” You give him a grin. “Now, lets make my baby cum.” You say, jerking him and then slowly taking him back in your mouth.
He notices your hair falling in front of your hair, so he gathers your hair into a ponytail and holds it back for you.
Mark bit down on his bottom lip, chewing back his sinful noises. Marks eyes flutter when you look up at him through your pretty lashes.
“I—im cumming, y/n!” He grunts out, hands gripping onto your ponytail. You moved faster, bobbed your head more.
He starts to chant your name, is more like whines. “Holy fffuck!” He swears as he cums down your throat. Mark released the grip from your hair and closed his eyes shut, he was too tired from the orgasm.
You pulled away and watched as his cock got soft. It was silent after.
“Baby?” You called for Mark who groaned and covered his cock again. “Don’t call me that, please? It has this weird hold on me and it turns me on whenever you keep calling me it.” You giggled at the man and just nodded.
“Let’s go to bed, mark. It’s late and I’m tired.” You yawned, tugging on Marks hand. He sighed and climbed off the counter, pulling his clothes on and following you upstairs to the bedroom where you two both slept like babies.
He will forever be your baby.
Hot Sauce (M). Part 1.
Preview: “Why don’t you just fuck all his friends? If he really was that heart broken over you moving away back then, he’ll go mental.” your friend suggests. You stare into the screen, swiveling back and forth in your computer chair.
“Have you seen his friends? That would be too easy..” you smirk to yourself toying with the idea.
Pairing: NCT Dream 00’ line x female reader
Word Count: 2.7k
Genre: PWP, Step brother Jeno AU, parents are miraculously never home, enemies to fucking.
Warnings: Jeno’s very mean- very, name calling, bullying, explicit language, degradation, slut shaming, smut
Smut Warning: M/F, dirty talk, public indecency, mutual masturbation, voyeurism(?)
a/n- thank you for 500 on the intro! >.< enjoy!
Hot Sauce: Intro—>
“So what’s the deal?” Your friends curious voice blares from your computer speakers. You’re out of sight, kneeled down in front of the full body mirror.
“He started snap chatting dick pics around 1am, typical stuff.” you bend over aiming for the best angle to take a photo of your arched back and perked up ass. Covering your mouth when a yawn escapes.
“How was it?” She asks, curling iron in hand on her end, using the webcam as a vanity.
“Was ok I guess” you reach back, spreading yourself open to get another photo. “Told him I’d rather see it in my hand.”
“You send him any pics?” you pause, looking over your current position.
“Uh, no.” you had sent him a nipple shot with promise of more if he wouldn’t touch himself. She didn’t need to know all the details. You stand up, pulling your robe back on before taking a seat at the computer.
“He sounds like no problem, any info on the other two yet?” She carries on questioning.
“I looked through Haechan’s account for a good amount of time. Jeno seem’s to hang out with that big one the most, you know with the cute smile- Jaemin. The other ones account was full of paintings, a ballet practice room he always seems to be at. He was the most appealing, but that could work against me..” you stare at your phone off screen, choosing the best photos before texting Haechan.
‘Need you here’ you attach a shot bent over displaying yourself opened up.
“That one’s Renjun right? He does seem a little..” she trails off, flicking a limped wrist. You snort hitting send on the message, your phone lighting up not even 1 second after.
‘Fuck. It’s 7 in the morning. Fuck. What the fuck.’ Haechan’s message pops up, earning a smirk as you respond with a kissy face.
“I have to finish getting ready. I’ll see you later. I have to get some research in for my paper at the library before class.” You blow your friend a kiss signing off the video chat.
“What to wear..” you hold up a dress against your body in the mirror. Listening to the shower turn off, Jeno’s feet padding their way across the hall to his room next to yours. Smiling to yourself as you lean against the connected wall, picturing him dry off his wet skin.
“What the..” Jeno’s eyebrows shoot up, choking on his protein shake from where he stands behind the kitchen counter. You grab your keys and school bag to head off ignoring him.
“What the hell are you wearing?” Jeno questions, wiping over his lips with the back of his hands. His hand shoots out holding your bicep in a firm grip, finger tips reddening as they dig into your arm.
“What the fuck Jeno?” You try to pull away, smacking him with your bag. Jeno keeps a hold on you, brows furrowing together.
“What the fuck are you wearing??” He asks again, tone more annoyed with each word.
“A dress?” You grunt pulling your arm away again, not budging out of his hold.
“Your entire ass is hanging out.” Jeno scoffs shoving you away, your back hitting the edge of the counter. You hiss rubbing at your spine with an eye roll. “You look like a slut.”
“And? The fuck is your problem?” You elbow at his chest to move past him. His entire body like a brick wall blocking your way out.
“Whatever. You should be embarrassed walking around like that. Not a good look on you.” Jeno looks at you with disgusts as usual.
“Fuck you.” You grab the doorknob heading out to the garage.
“I wouldn’t let you!” Jeno shouts after you.
“Fucking asshole.” You mutter to yourself starting your cars engine up. “There’s no way he still likes me” you grit your teeth pulling out of the driveway angrily speeding to campus.
“Someone’s in a bad mood, what happened? You were fine this morning.” Your friend asks walking toward the library with you.
“Ugh, it’s nothing. Jeno’s just a fucking asshole.” You shove the door to the hallway open, arms tense with pent up anger.
“I thought we already planned what to do with that clown?” She giggles to herself. “Oh shit, quit slouching.” She nudges at your side, nodding ahead in the direction of a group of guys. You see the back of Haechan’s head and quickly adjust your bag, straightening your back. He turns toward you, smirking with a lifted brow. You throw him a smile back with a wink, trying to emphasize your shape, swaying your hips as you pass by.
“Who is that..” Jisung asks, jaw falling open. 4 different pairs of eyes linger on your retreating backside.
“Too much woman for you, that’s what that is.” Haechan laughs shoving Jisung’s mouth shut. Jisung slaps his hands away with a pout.
“Isn’t that Jeno’s new step sister?” Renjun ponders, trying to get a better look at your face.
“Yea that’s her..remember when we were kids? That girl he was always shoving on the playground.” Haechan laughs elbowing at Renjun’s side. Renjun looks at him in confusion, face comically changing in less than a minute with realization.
“Wait..that’s her?! She’s his step sister!” Renjun shrieks out, eyes widening.
“Yea seriously, she’s hot. Poor Jeno, I mean..unless he’s into that. I guess they aren’t blood related..” Chenle shrugs.
“Ew dude.” Jisung replies punching at his shoulder. Chenle smacking back at him, instigating a weak fist fight between them.
“I knew you’d remember. How could you forget your first love’s....first love.” Haechan laughs, flicking at Renjun’s chin.
“Fuck you dude.” Renjun slaps Haechan’s hand away. “Wait, why do you know her??”
“Better question is, why wouldn’t I know her?” Haechan drops his head back, holding out his arms. “I mean, look at me.”
“God you’re lame.” Renjun rolls his eyes.
“Don’t be mad, that’s a little too much woman for you to handle too.” Haechan finishes with another flick at his chin before running off, heading toward the library entrance. Renjun left behind fuming, seperating Jisung and Chenle before they’re all late for class.
“You’re looking very sexy today.” A familiar voice whispers into your ear. Haechan sets his bag down on the table, sliding into the seat next to you near the back of the library. “Any special reason?” His brow wiggles, leaning in closer licking over his plump bottom lip. “Perhaps me?”
“Maybe..” you lean in closing the gap between the two of you. Having chosen to sit further away to be able to focus in quiet. “Shouldn’t you be in class?”
“I’d rather be here.” Haechan smooths his hand up your thigh cupping around your core with expertise. “Isn’t that what you need?” He whispers, biting down on his lip. You gasp, glancing around. Not many people in the library this early thankfully. You press your shoulder against his, spreading your thighs open to give him more space.
“Did you follow the rules.” You ask, sliding your hand down his stomach. “Were you a good boy?” You squeeze his length through his jeans, already half way hard. Haechan swallows down, eyelashes fluttering.
“I’m so fucking blue balled right now, I feel like a teenager about to bust a nut in my pants.” Haechan grunts, moving your panties to the side. His fingers sliding up and down your wet slit. “Shit, fuck...you’re wet.”
“Of course I’m fucking wet..” you unzip his jeans, shoving your hand inside. His boxers damp and hot under your touch. “I want you..” you lick over his top lip quickly, letting your lips drag down his chin slowly. You squeeze around his size through the thin cotton to emphasize your point.
“Wanna fuck you right here, bend your tight little ass over this table. Fuck you hard enough to piss everyone off with your screams.” Haechan coats his fingers in your wetness, pressing two at your entrance. Pads of his fingers circling around teasingly. You purse your lips together suppressing down a moan, pulling Haechan’s dick out through the slit of his boxers. Your eyes scan over him beneath the table.
“Bet you’d fuck me until I’m begging for you to stop.” You gather up the precum sliding down the head of his cock, rolling it around the skin. He groans in his throat, sliding his fingers into you, wetness seeping around him.
“Oh you have no idea baby..” Haechan’s fingers start thrusting, not too fast, but enough to hear the sound of your soaked hole stretching around him. You whimper, hiding your face in his shoulder to mute the sounds trying to escape you. Your hand sliding up and down his length, squeezing around the cock head. “I’d fuck you so good, get you all stupid off my cock like you deserve.”
“Shit..” you whimper, biting down on his shirt. Haechan’s fingers press into you hard, stroking his palm against your clit.
“Cum around my fingers baby” Haechan whispers hotly against your ear, shaking the appendages inside you with intent. Your legs tremble against the seat, gripping down at the base of his cock.
“Ugh! Fu-..” you mutter into his shoulder between whispered cries. Your hips lifting off the chair, shaking, core convulsing around him. “God..damn” you sigh, rolling your forehead over his strong built shoulder. Catching your breath as you calm down from the orgasm that just passed through you. Haechan bucks up reminding you of his own member still under your grip. You smirk leaning in kissing at the cute little beauty mark on his Adam’s apple.
“Does somebody need attention?” You taunt him with a pout. He whines nodding rapidly, bucking his hips up again. You shut your book with your free hand, squeezing at the base of his dick.
“You want to cum?” You ask releasing him from your hold, licking at his ear. “Come over to my house when you’re done, show me you’re not all talk.” You get up fast, grabbing your things. Haechan’s eyes widen, bulging open.
“Wha-what!” He shouts out loud enough to turn heads, earning looks of dismay from more students that have shown up.
“Shhh” you lift a finger to your lips. “No talking in the library” you wink at him again, laughing to yourself as you exit the building.
“You really wanted me to walk around campus with a fucking tent in my pants huh?” Haechan leans against one of the pillars on the front porch. You fold your arms over your chest with a smile.
“If you’re going to cum anywhere, it’s going to be on me, not in the school’s library.” You open the door up motioning for him to follow you in. Haechan glances around stepping out of his shoes.
“Jeno’s not here right?” He asks scratching at his nape.
“Why? You want him to watch?” You reply sarcastically, grabbing his hands to pull him up the stairs.
“I like having my kneecaps still.. Would rather not be a victim to one of his outbursts again.” He scoffs, pointing to the scar above his eye. “Just a constant reminder of the damage your step brother can cause.”
“Ugh stop calling him that.” You grimace walking backward to your room, leaving the door open.
“Isn’t he your brother now?” Haechan laughs sitting down on your bed, eyes looking over the mirror he recognizes from the photo you’d sent this morning.
“Gross.” You smack your lips down against his, tired of hearing the name Jeno associated with anything close to a sibling. You straddle over Haechan’s thighs, shoving his jacket off. Grabbing the hem of his shirt to pull it off of him quickly.
“Damn, you’re ready to go eh?” Haechan mumbles between sloppy kisses, tongue lapping at yours. You toss his shirt to the side going straight to his jeans, getting him opened. He grips onto your hips, lifting you and moving you flat onto your back. His fingers slide the straps of your dress down, breasts falling out. “Keep the dress on.”
“Fuck me until I scream and I’ll do whatever you want.” You smirk, pulling his jeans down his hips. Haechan’s dick falls out, long and hard. He groans out, lifting your legs up onto his shoulders. Haechan grabs the sides of your panties, pulling them off eagerly in a quick motion.
“Fuck yea” he adjusts quickly, lifting your hips off the mattress. Haechan’s dick slides between your wet folds teasingly. You whimper watching him grind against you.
“Oh please, please fuck me” you cry, head heating up with arousal. Haechan bites down on your calve, pulling his hips back before slamming forward shoving the entirety of his length into you. You shout out, arching up, cock stretching you open. Your neck falls back limply as you wail out another long languid scream.
Haechan leans in, pressing your thighs against you, hips working fast. He thrust forward into you brutally hard. Dick so swollen and aching, tired of waiting. He groans out from the back of his throat, shoving in past your walls squeezing around him so tightly.
“Fuck baby, that pussy’s good. Ugh shit!” His hands slide up your calves, pushing you against the bed, folded in half completely. Haechan’s hips don’t halt, dick reaching so far deep into you. You hear the familiar sound of the front door slamming shut, exaggerating out a loud moan.
“Yes! Fuck me! FUCK ME HARD.” You yell out, thrusting up against him manically. Haechan’s jaw drops watching you shove against him. He grinds forward digging deep into you, nearly breaking into your womb.
“Fuck!” He pulls out slapping at your thigh. You turn over quickly, facing toward your open door with a smirk. You bend forward resting on your elbows, presenting your ass for him. Haechan sucks in air, slapping his hands down over your ass. He squeezes and jiggles the fleshy meat with a groan.
“Fuck” he mutters out stroking over his dick. He gives you no warning, slamming back into you hard enough to make you lose your balance. You fall forward with a scream, landing on your chest. Your eyes rolling back, gripping at the sheets.
“Your cock feels so good inside me!” You emphasize loudly, smiling to yourself.
“I love it! More! More!!” you make to thrust back against him. Haechan grips at your hips aiding your movement, hips jerking wildly into you.
“Ah, fuck. You’re squeezing down on me so good baby. You love my cock.” Haechan groans out between gritted teeth watching your ass slap against him.
You lift your head, your jaw dropping open gasping out. Jeno standing in the hall at the entrance to your room. His fists clenched together angrily, neck red, veins pulsating. He glares into your eyes so intensely, rage loud and clear.
“Yes yes!” You scream out, keeping your gaze locked on Jeno. “Your cock feels so good inside me Haechan! I love it so much!” You bite down on your lip, smile taking over your face. Jeno’s jaw clenches tightly, cracking his neck to the side. You slide your hand further out on the bed reaching toward him, gripping down onto the sheet. Haechan moving so fast, skin clapping sounding out loudly between your moans and panting.
Haechan growls leaning over you, hand digging into your hair. He pulls your neck back, biting down onto your shoulder. Your mouth hanging open, tongue falling out as you pant harshly. He grunts loudly into your shoulder, pounding away at you. Jeno doesn’t budge, anger practically holding him in place. You cry out, looking over Jeno’s body, still in his uniform, just getting back from practice.
You clench down hard, Haechan’s hips stuttering trying to push the way through past your gripping walls. Your eyes roll back with a wailed out moan, stomach clenching, core convulsing around him. Haechan whimpers against your neck, cock jolting forward between your tightness.
He pulls out, sitting up straight, stroking over his cock. Hot liquid spilling down your lower back, sliding over your ass. His cries and whines accompanying Haechan’s overdue orgasm. He strokes over himself one more time before collapsing down on your bed next to you. None the wiser of an audience.
You smile, admiring his golden damp skin. His pretty eyes fallen shut.
You move back onto your elbows, laying on your stomach. The sound of a door downstairs slamming hard as you move Haechan’s sweaty bangs off his forehead.
Tag list: @sunflowerhae @ncttboo @sweetutopia @nominsgirl
SUMMARY: the fall semester of your sophomore year of college was a lot harder than you thought it would be.
PAIRING: jaehyun x fem reader
GENRE/CATEGORY: smut, non-idol!au, college!au, fwb!au
WORD COUNT: 5.1 k
CONTENT WARNINGS: angsty! infidelity! you’re the other woman. the relationship isn’t the best, kinda toxic, so tread lightly there. sad! it’s very sad for you. unprotected sex. choking, small bit. if i missed something, let me know!
LILO NOTES: so! this my first piece on here, hi! i’m really excited to post this because this piece is very special to me! i posted it on an old blog a long time ago with a different member, but i’ve rewritten it with jaehyun. so, if it sounds familiar that’s why! anyways, hope you enjoy this sad filth!
Jaehyun: are you up?
Jaehyun: i miss you and want to come over :(
You blinked at your phone screen, eyes reading the two messages at least twenty times before scrolling back through your twitter timeline absorbing none of it. Ignoring Jaehyun was never easy, you didn’t like doing it, but you had to do it. It was for the best.
Jaehyun: you just liked my tweet bro
You huffed heavily as you tapped on the message, rolling from your side to your back.
it’s 2 am
you can just call your girlfriend we’ve been over this
You sent him hoping that would be the end of this conversation. Typically, the conversations with Jaehyun would stop once you brought up his girlfriend. His girlfriend. His tall, pretty, smart, girlfriend of two years nearly three this upcoming Friday if you remembered correctly.
Jaehyun: i miss you tho
Jaehyun: let me just come over for a second it’ll be fun
You were close to caving. You always caved when it came to Jaehyun, you were pretty sure you would always cave when it came to the boy with jet black hair and full pink lips.
i’ll leave the door unlocked you know where to go
You shoved your phone under your pillow, pressing your face into the cushion as you let out an exasperated noise. This was a tiring routine. Jaehyun was tiring. He managed to drain nearly every ounce of love and compassion out of you in the short year you knew him. All of it went to Jaehyun, never to yourself or anyone else, he was selfish like that. He was a stupid selfish boy like all of them were.
You shouldn’t speak for other boys. All you know is Jaehyun. He’s the only boy you’ve ever been with. He’s the only boy you’ve ever wanted to be with.
Ten minutes later you hear the door open then shut. It only took a few moments for him to find your room and leave the door open behind him. You lifted your head from your pillow to watch him crawl in beside you.
“You always leave the door open.” You whispered as his arm draped around your torso, his knuckles grazing the front of your thigh.
“I got excited to see you.”
If your eyes weren’t closed, you’d roll them.
In the beginning, when you first met Jaehyun and you were entranced by his quips and his beauty, that line would’ve made you swoon. You were pretty sure it did, the line was familiar and it wasn’t out of character for him to reuse lines he knows make you weak.
“Your skin is so soft.” He breathed into your shoulder, his long fingers working to push your hair off your shoulder humming softly. Jaehyun pressed his face into the newly exposed skin of your neck, his lips resting there with no thought. He was comfortable and that bothered you. He was so comfortable with making you the other woman, it was unbearable, he was unbearable, but here you were, wrapped tightly in his arms with his lips against your skin.
You remained non-responsive, but your hand rested on top of his letting your fingers fall between his and dig into his palm.
“You gonna let me make you feel good?”
Your eyes slowly opened, eyeing your conjoined hands with a deep breath. Every proposition from Jaehyun came with a catch, you knew he’d end up nestled between your thighs and his hand around your neck.
You rolled over to face him, he let go of your hand to pull your thigh over his hips, his large hand resting on your back to pull your chest against his. You let it happen––it always happened––your small hand resting on his shoulder. You found yourself nose to nose with him, staring into his big eyes feeling yourself drown in them like you always did. His eyes––God, his eyes that seemed to make the world stop.
You were pretty sure you wouldn’t be able to live without those eyes in your life.
“You really know how to talk dirty, hm?” You teased holding tightly onto the grey fabric of his shirt, leaning in to kiss his lips delicately. Jaehyun hummed quietly against your lips, his hand resting on the back of your neck to deepen the kiss as his other hand held tighter onto your thigh, his fingers digging into the skin hopefully leaving bruises in the morning.
“You want me to talk dirty to you, baby?”
“Oh God, no, Jaehyun.” You pulled away with a stiff laugh, ducking your head down rest on shoulder still laughing. His laugh rang through your cold dark room, you smiled into his chest before looking up at him taking in his features like you always did causing him to look down at you like you were his whole sky.
You weren’t even a measly star in his sky.
“You don’t like my dirty talk?” You rolled your eyes at the smirk that adorned his lips, pushing his hair back to stare at him again.
“I just want to…” You thought of what you wanted, your hands holding tightly onto his shirt when what you wanted came to mind, “I just want to be with you.”
“Don’t get mushy on me now, baby.”
Your eyes fell downward at that. That was his nice way of saying drop it, let it go, it’s never going to happen. Jaehyun could be mean, he could be cold, and he could be distant. You rather him pretend and make it easy for you two instead of being ruthless and easily breaking you to pieces.
You’ll never forget the first time he broke your heart.
He’s done it plenty of times but the first time hurt the most.
It was in a bathroom. You wanted him to break up with his girlfriend, you wanted to be with him, two things you still wanted even a year later. He called you selfish, a stupid little girl, and left you there degraded and alone.
He broke your heart. He broke your heart for telling him you wanted to be the only one.
He called you two weeks later and fucked you senseless in his apartment.
He told you when you were finished that you were his girl, but you knew that wasn’t the truth.
Jaehyun was never honest with you when you two shared a bed. You were pretty sure he wasn’t even honest with you outside of bed. Anyone in their right mind would’ve gotten themselves out of this relationship––they would’ve gotten out fast, but you still stuck around. Letting him consume you slowly.
“Alright,” You mumbled looking up into his eyes, sighing heavily, “Alright.” You say it again mainly to convince yourself it was you looking back down, sighing softly. He rubbed your back soothingly for a minute, resting his chin on top of your head. You two remained that way for a few minutes. His warmth surrounding you and encapsulating yourself in his arms, you pressed your cheek further against his chest so you could feel his heartbeat.
You liked being reminded he had a heart, he just forgets how to work it most of the time when he’s with you. You’ve become a master at humanizing the bad guy because you didn’t want Jaehyun to be the bad guy, you really really wanted him to be the good guy. You’ve learned how to make every shitty thing he’s said to you feel like a compliment, you’ve learned to make his less than favorable actions seem admirable, you’ve changed your ways for him and he can’t even be bothered to see you in daylight.
“What do you want to do, Jaehyun?” You asked softly as you looked up at him, lifting your hand to run blindly through his hair again. He only hummed in response, rolling on top of you effortlessly with a soft grunt.
“Well,” he ran his fingers through your hair, fanning out your locks as he stared down at your curious eyes, “I want to get my dick wet.”
“There it is,” You laughed with a slow nod, “There’s that dirty talk that just makes me so wet.” You laughed a bit louder, letting your hands run down his chest with a tired smile. He laughed with you, tilting his head down till his forehead touched yours, his nose brushing against yours as your hands rested on top of his sweatpants with a soft hum.
In order to be with Jaehyun, you had to turn off almost every emotion in your body because of how wrong it felt if you didn’t. You became a shell. You couldn’t tell if you liked feeling nothing or feeling everything. It was a constant battle you didn’t enjoy but couldn’t seem to get out of. You were stuck in a mass interacted web of manipulation and somber emotions, you weren’t sure if you’d ever get out.
“Try wording that a little better. Come on, I know you can do it.”
He smirked down at you, running a hand through your hair with a soft hum. You looked up at him with large eyes, his lips pressing to your forehead causing you to cast your eyes downward.
You struggled looking him in the eyes. You always have. His eyes were your weakness––they always have been–– his eyes told lies and deceived those who looked into them. They were round and shimmered when he heard a joke, they resembled an innocent doe’s most of the time. You loved his eyes.
You’d never tell anyone, but you saw your future in his eyes.
You saw a quiet little house, you saw two kids and a messy kitchen.
But you saw no love in them. You saw something selfish, dark, and manipulative façading
as love. You struggled to see it sometimes, you let yourself fall into them without thought or worry.
He never was the one who got hurt.
He grabbed your chin, tugging your face up so he could look down into your eyes. A soft sound of shock got caught in the back of your throat, your once sleepy eyes locking with his. You couldn’t stop your hands from naturally falling into their usual place on his shoulders, your lips parting softly as his hand snuck down between your legs.
“I want to fuck you.”
You gulped silently, your chest tightening as his large palm began skimming up higher and higher to slip into your shorts causing your back to arch into his chest with a soft gasp, hand instantly holding on the fabric of his shirt to ground yourself.
“I’m going to make you feel so good.” He pressed his forehead against yours, “you want that, right, baby? You want me to make you feel good?”
You dumbly nodded without hesitation. You always caved when it came to Jaehyun, you were scared you always would too. You weren’t sure if this was a forever thing for him but it felt like a forever thing. You weren’t sure if you wanted it to be a forever thing.
He pressed his lips to yours, sending you far away from where you were. His fingers wasted no time rubbing you through the fabric of your underwear causing your breathing to pick up, holding tight onto his shirt batting your lashes up at him.
“Want more,” You swallowed, “I want more, Jaehyun.” Your voice wavered a little when he pressed his fingers against your soaking center. The boy smirked down at you using the hand that wasn’t shoved down your shorts to grab your face, making you face him so he could watch you fall apart.
He loved watching you crumble because of him. He loved the control you let him have over you.
“Already want my fingers, angel?”
You shake your head the best you could, causing his brow to lift in slight confusion.
“I want your cock inside me.” You told him with a small moan, “You-You said you wanted to fuck me so fuck me.” You begged, never breaking eye contact with the boy, hoping that would help get your point across.
Jaehyun smirked down at your brash words, he looked almost proud of you for being so bold.
“You came all this way to get your dick wet, right?” His grip on your jaw tightened when your hand rubbed his hard cock through the dark fabric, “It’s so easy to get you hard, baby. It’s almost kind of pathetic.”
“Watch it.” He said through clenched teeth, his large hand moving from your jaw to your throat. Your hips jerked into his hand at the sudden and possessive hold, a small pleased smile on your lips at how easy it was to push him when he was desperate.
“I have to prep you first, baby.” He’s soft again but the hold on your throat stayed unforgiving, squeezing the sides causing your jaw to drop softly.
You loved when he choked you. You loved the eutrophic feeling you were given by the lack of air reaching your brain. You felt like you were floating. You felt on a different planet. You felt at peace.
It’s the only peace Jung Jaehyun’s ever given you without pain chasing behind it.
After a minute of holding your life in his hands, he releases your throat and you gasp softly, taking a big full breath as he ducked his head down to speckle your neck with aimless kisses.
“Don’t wanna be prepped,” You whined, feeling his fingers push your underwear to the side with his long fingers, “just want to be fucked.”
Jaehyun chuckled quietly at your pleading, lifting his head to watch your face when his digits slid up your wet folds to graze over your clit making you whine loudly. “You know it’ll hurt if I don’t.” He reminded you, causing your brows to knit together in slight frustration.
“I don’t fucking care.” You groaned trying to pull his sweats off with one hand, your hips grinding into his hand pathetically. “I want it to hurt.”
You were pretty sure Jaehyun almost came right there.
“Of course you do.” He whispered, leaning down to collide his lips with yours. The kiss was messy, both of you were drunk on desperation and want for each other. His hands mindlessly pulled your shorts and underwear down, working at the speed of light to pull his sweats and boxers down to his mid-thigh. You lift your head to look at his cock, smirking softly up at him before falling back on your pillow with an excited bite of your bottom lip.
“You’re such a cock slut.” Jaehyun whispered as your hand skimmed down your stomach, rubbing the head of his cock with your palm nodding in agreement. You watched his jaw drop, his pretty brown eyes shutting as you wrapped your fingers around his cock. You gave his cock a few long slow pumps, your thumb dragging across his bottom lip whimpering softly.
“Pretty boy,” You whispered in slight awe as he held tightly onto your wrist to halt your movements on his dick, pressing his lips softly to the pad of your thumb before pushing your hand off of him softly.
“I really think–”
“Stop pretending you care already, Jaehyun. Just do what you came here for.” You interrupted sharply, watching his eyes narrow as he looked at your face.
You hoped you weren’t showing any emotions, you weren’t sure what your face looked like right now.
“Fine. Whatever. Just tell me if it’s too much.” He grumbled as he pushed your knees to your chest, you shook your head as you pushed at his chest to give yourself some room. You rolled on your stomach, pushing yourself up on your forearms. You knew your body better than anyone, you knew it’d be easier to get fucked this way.
You also knew it’d be easier to get fucked without looking at Jaehyun’s face the whole time.
“You sure?” He wrapped his hands around your hips, pulling them up to where your back arched and your ass was in the air. You let out a soft whine, nodding quickly when you felt him press the head of his cock to your entrance.
Your mind briefly entertained the idea of a condom––It’s pointless to start now, you think. Jaehyun’s been fucking you raw for over a year now and based off what you knew about Jung Jaehyun, he didn’t handle change well. His girlfriend never let him fuck her without a condom, he told you one time, that’s what made you so different from her. You wanted to vomit at how he thought that was your most differing feature. You worried about getting pregnant, of course you did, but obviously it didn’t scare you enough to ask him to wrap it up.
He took things slower than usual, taking his time slowly pressing his cock into you. Your velvety walls stretching to take all he would give you, your jaw dropping at slight burn as your pussy tried to accompany his size. You squeezed your eyes shut, a soft whimper leaving your lips as he pushed further inside you causing the burn to intensify but with the burn came the pleasure––God, it was was so fucking worth it. You let out a pained cry when he forcefully shoved the rest of his cock into your tight heat.
“You good?” He questioned with a soft groan, pressing his hips further against your ass as one hand pressed to the bottom of your spine.
“Yeah…Yeah, just give me a minute.” You took a deep breath through your nose, your eyes still shut tightly as you waited for your body to adjust to the massive intrusion inside of you.
Jung Jaehyun could be the perfect man if he wanted to be. Pretty smile, perfect laugh, massive cock, he really had a lot going for him, too bad his habit of cheating on his girlfriend was a glaring issue.
After what felt like hours, your body slowly adjusted to his dick, your walls clenching around him with a quiet moan. “Fuck me.” You whispered with a small groan, repositioning yourself so your cheek was pressed to your pillow and you reached back to rest a hand on his thigh.
“Such a good girl,” He fucked you shallowly first, getting you used to the feeling of his cock dragging against your walls. “Taking my dick like the easy slut you are,” His hips began to pick up their regular tempo, sharp and tactful, his words not even hitting you like they should. They just went over your head, your only thought was about getting fucked.
With each thrust, your body moved forward and soft pathetic little sounds left your lips. Your thin nails dug into the skin of his thigh, knowing if you dug deep enough you could draw blood. You should, you thought as his hips snapped into yours a little harder, you should make him bleed and see what happens. You let out a sharp moan when he finally decided on a quicker pace, your nails digging into his tanned skin and dragging down, slicing the skin open partially.
“Fuck!” He shouted as he thoughtlessly slapped your hand off of him, his movements stilling to look at the measly damages. You quickly retreated with a loud squeak, your hand stinging from the slap causing you to bite the inside of your cheek. You marked him, even if it was in a less than conventional way, he still had a mark from you on his thigh now.
You weren’t allowed to mark him, that had been established the first time you two just kissed. He could mark you up with bruises and scratches all he wanted but no mark could be left on him. You hated this rule. It was stupid and you hated it.
So, you finally broke it.
“Keep going, i-idiot.” You groaned as you rolled your hips back onto his cock, desperate for friction. Jaehyun watched your hips roll down with knitted brows, shaking his head a little at you before sitting back and pulling you down with him. You huffed at the new position––You hated being on top. He knew this. You shook your head with a quiet whine, looked back at the boy, who laid back with ease with a smirk on his lips.
“Keep going,” He taunted with a raise of his eyebrows, “i-idiot.” You let out an annoyed groan at his childish mocking. You hated him. You really hated Jung Jaehyun.
You looked around as if you were lost––Well, you were lost. You could count the times you’ve rode Jaehyun on one hand, each time probably lasted, at max, five minutes before your complaining annoyed him enough to flip you two over.
Your hips rolled experimentally into his causing a soft gasp to leave your lips. That felt good. Really good, actually. His hands rested on your ass with a soft chuckle at how slow and cautious your movements were, your gut tightened uncomfortably at the thought of him laughing at you.
“I don’t know how, Jaehyun.” You whined with a desperate roll of your hips, trying to figure it out on your own with no avail. The boy sat up with that same cocky ass smirk on his lips, his hands moving to your hips, grip bruising as usual, his chest pressing against your back.
“Aw…Is my baby too dumb to figure out how to ride a cock on her own?” When he put it like that it made it sound so easy. You squirmed in his holding looking down at when your two bodies connected, a soft whimper leaving your lips at the pornographic sight. “I always have to do everything, huh? You just want to lay there and get fucked senseless, huh?” You could feel his breath on the back of your neck causing your skin to prick and pebble.
You nodded easily at his words, they were true after all, whimpering quietly as he pressed a kiss against your shoulder. He repositioned you for the third time that night, this time pulling out and putting you on your back, pushing your legs up to your chest. You watched him finally pull off his black sweatpants, laying down on top of you to just completely blanket over you.
He was so big and warm, he was so close to being the perfect boy.
“You know,” He started as he began to push into you again, a new stretch from the different position, “my thigh really hurts now.” If his dick wasn’t stretching your pussy out to new extremes, you would’ve told him to shut up. You simply just whined at the sensation, grabbing tightly onto his bicep as you shut your eyes tightly.
“Feels good, baby?” He cooed, dragging his thumb across your bottom lip before wrapping his hand around your throat again. You nodded with a quiet sound, holding tightly onto him as he began to fuck into you roughly. In this position, it felt like he was splitting you open again, and again, and again with every shift thrust of his hips. It was driving you insane.
“I love fucking you like this.” He whispered as your eyes opened to look at his face, your hand wrapping around his wrist to the hand that held your throat. Your eyes fell to his lips, watching them move as he spoke. He was so mesmerizing without even trying, you hated it. “I love just watching you take my cock. You always take it so well, baby.” You moaned out at that, your brows knitted together and stomach overwhelmingly filled with butterflies.
His hips began to snap ruthlessly into yours, knocking the wind out of you so easily. You let him fuck you without care, taking every tactless thrust without thought. Shrill and short moans fell from your lips, everything seemed to pick up and move at an incredibly fast pace meaning it was going to be over soon.
“P-Please kiss me.” You nearly sobbed as you slipped a hand between your bodies, two of your fingers rubbing quick and thoughtless circles on your clit. You arched up into him at the stimulation your body desperately needed, eyes shutting tightly at how quick your orgasm seemed to be approaching.
Jaehyun leaned down quickly but didn’t kiss your lips. His forehead just pressed to yours, he was so close but so far away. You tilted your head up to graze your lips over his, your fingers working quicker on the soft wet bud causing your thighs to tremble and body become ridged. When you began to fall off the edge, he finally collided his lips to yours with a loud groan.
You swore you saw God when you came around him.
The kiss turned from searing lips desperate against each other to just panting in each other’s mouths. You let him use your body to get himself off, your eyes heavy and lips parted as he fucked into you without care, holding onto your waist like his life depended on it. Bruises would be left in the morning but that was a given whenever Jaehyun was in your bed.
“Gonna cum,” he grunted against your mouth as you simply whimpered in response. “Gonna fill you up with so much cum––Fuck, ‘been wanting to do this all week. That's all I’ve been thinking about.” You stared at his lips as he gritted out words, watching his eyes shut tightly and his jaw drop slightly.
He was thinking of you all week. Your heart nearly burst at the thought.
You grabbed his arm tightly when he finally came, emptying his load inside you with a sickly beautiful moan. You squeezed your eyes tightly at the sudden warmth filling you. It wasn’t your favorite feeling but Jaehyun seemed to enjoy treating you like his personal cum dumpster.
You had gotten used to it at this point.
“There’s so much of it. What the fuck.” You groaned as he continued to spurt cum inside your pussy, your brows knitting together as he tipped his head down to press against yours.
“I told you I waited all week, baby.” He whispered as he let go of your hips, dropping down to press his chest against yours. You slid your hands up to wrap around him, letting yourself hold him like he was yours. Jaehyun was yours after sex. He was soft and cuddly, always whispering the softest things in your ear, and blushing when you told him how beautiful he was.
You wished Jaehyun was yours all the time.
“Cum’s going to get on my sheets.” You pouted as you began to stroke his hair––He loved that. He loved that a lot. Jaehyun let out a soft hum against your skin.
“I’ll change them for you.” He lied as he pressed a kiss to your lips gently, pulling back with a quiet hum. You rolled your eyes.
“You’re a liar.” Your lips turned upwards in a smirk when he smiled at you, “A big beautiful liar.” You teased just to see his cheeks get rosy which they did. God, you loved that so much.
Jaehyun turned his head away with a quiet laugh. You watched him with a soft smile, fingers tracing his cheekbones lovingly.
The love you had for him bloomed full and beautiful flowers in your chest. It suffocates you. Sometimes the thrones from the ivy green stems would prick at your lungs. You were ready to cough up bloody petals any moment. The flowers, though beautiful, were killing you.
And you let them.
Jaehyun pressed a kiss to the top of your head before pulling out of you slowly, you whimpered loudly looking up at him with a bite of your bottom lip. “It’s going to make a mess, Yoonoh.” You whimpered, watching his breath strutter at the way his name sounded from your lips.
You were the only person who could call him Yoonoh without making him feel exposed.
He shushes you soothingly, running a hand through your hair as he pulls out of you with a sharp breath. You cringed slightly at the feeling of being empty and oozing out his cum, your face pinched slightly at the undesirable feeling.
“I feel like a twinkie.” You mumbled causing him to look up at you, his mouth opening to say something but a loud laugh escapes his lips instead.
“You say the dumbest things after sex,” You smiled softly as your eyes stayed shut, feeling him kiss your cheek. You loved being this close to him, his chest pressed against yours, nose pressed against your cheek. You loved moments like these.
They were temporary but they felt so real.
“You–You gotta stay the night now.” You mumbled as you wrapped your arms around his torso, he showed no signs of protest honestly. “It’s too late for you to be driving around.” He hummed in agreement, pressing his face into the crook of your neck.
“I have a 9 AM,” he whispers, lifting his head to look down at you, straightening himself up so he could redress himself. “I’ll be gone before you wake up probably.”
He knows your schedule by now. He knows you have evening classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays, he knows your Monday and Wednesday classes are in the morning. He only knows these things because you two made your schedules together, making it so you two only collided with each other briefly on campus.
That was more his idea than yours. Obviously.
“I’ll miss you.” You whispered as he plucked a few tissues from the container on your bedside table, wiping the now cool cum from between your legs.
“Oh yeah?” He smirked looking at you with raised brows, “I’ll miss you too, baby.”
You preened at that. It was stupid that little things like that made you so happy but you loved it.
You felt him redress you with caution, his hands finally being gentle with you and your body. It’s always like this, he’s always his kindest when you’re barely conscious.
“I’m the little spoon.” You tell him as you teeter on the edge of sleep. He simply hums in response, laying next to you and taking on the position of the big spoon like he always did. It wasn’t a regular occurrence that he stayed the night. Whenever you’d cave and let Jaehyun come over, he’d stay. Sometimes you two would talk for hours when he stayed or sometimes you two would immediately fall asleep.
It was one of those nights where you held tightly onto his hand that rested on your stomach, absorbing his warmth from behind you and just let your eyes shut slowly. “One more kiss,” You mumbled half awake, craning your head back towards him causing him to smile a little bit.
Silently, he pressed a kiss to your lips. It’s soft and gentle. You loved it.