Without Warning - Part I
Genre: angst, slight fluff
Pairing: Reader x Doyoung ft. Mark
Word Count: 4.3k
Summary: You and Doyoung had the best summer you could. Now that he’s hundreds of miles away in college, you have to go through senior year alone. You meet Mark at a time when Doyoung is making you feel like you’re single.
When you went out to take the trash out, you didn’t expect anything out of the ordinary. But when you got to the trash chute, there were boxes overflowing from the garbage bins. You rolled your eyes at whoever the asshole was that didn’t even bother to break down the box for their stupid forty two inch tv or any of the other boxes surrounding it, for that matter.
But before you could break it down and fold it yourself, you heard the door screech from behind you. A boy who looked around your age, more or less, appeared. He said, “Sorry about that. I was coming right back to break it down...”
You shrugged. “It’s fine. Did you just move in, down the hall?”
He nodded, taking the box and starting to break it down. “Yeah. Unpacking is hell, as you can see,” he said, motioning to the bunch of brown boxes all over the room. He wiped his forehead and let out a deep sigh. “Who knew we had this much stuff. Feels like we’ll never be done.”
You chuckled. “What’s your name?”
“Mark,” he said. “You?”
“I’m Y/N. You in high school too?”
He nodded. “Yeah. I’m gonna be a senior.”
“Me too. We have a couple days of summer left,” you said, sighing. “Then we have to go through another year of hell.”
Mark chuckled. “Don’t they say senior year is the best year?”
“Maybe for some…”
To be honest, you had a lot of problems in the present day. The truth was that you wanted to vent about how it seemed like your life had taken a complete, three hundred and sixty degree turn, for seemingly no reason at all. But you kept your negative opinions to yourself. The last thing you needed was for your new neighbor to think you were some crazy person.
Mark didn’t ask what you meant by that but he could tell that there was more to the story than just that. You seemed like the friendly, talkative type but, for some reason, you gave off an intimidating vibe at the same time. Mark was curious about you and he hoped that he could get to know you. He hoped that, maybe, you could be his first friend in this new city.
Mark woke up in a better mood than he expected. He was excited for his first day of senior year. He hadn’t been excited to move but since his dad got a promotion, they had to relocate. Mark and his brother weren’t happy about it but they made due. They tried their best to not be ungrateful and went along without making a fuss. And his brother, thankfully, was in college and didn’t have to derail any of his plans. In fact, the move brought him even closer to his school and he’d probably be coming home more often. Must be nice, Mark had thought. His brother, at least, was closer to his friends.
Mark’s bitter thoughts were put to a end as his toast popped up in the toaster. He snapped back to reality and made his sandwich. As he ate and scrolled through his Instagram feed, he thought about you. He wondered if he’d have classes with you or if you were even interested in being friends in the first place. Mark felt a little lonely and he was worried about making friends in this new city.
He made his way to the bus stop. To his surprise, he saw you standing there waiting. You were standing alone, bobbing your head to whatever song was playing through your AirPods. You were looking good as ever, in his eyes. He hadn’t seen you much the past week but he did see you on his way in from grocery shopping with his mom the other day. And you greeted him with a smile that made him feel warm and fuzzy inside. And, of course, his mom teased him about how pretty you were once they got home.
He started walking toward you and, noticing the movement, you looked up. Mark said, “Happy first day of school.”
You took your AirPods out and chuckled. “Happy first day of school, Mark.”
“I’ve been thinking about what you said the other day…”
You turned to him with a yawn. “What?”
“When you said senior year is only good for some people. I say we should make senior year the best year.”
Mark’s words triggered an old memory that made you sort of sad. “Let’s just enjoy the time I have before I leave…and that means that we have to have the best summer ever!”
You pushed the memory away, remembering that you didn’t have the power to change things as they were. The best thing you could do was to live in the present, to stop dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.
“I’m down,” you said. “So, basically, what this means is that you have no choice but to be friends with me.”
“Yup, so be nice to me.”
You survived the first week of school and you had to admit that you and Mark were hitting it off. You took the bus to school together in the morning and, most days, you went home together, too. On the first day, you got there early enough to introduce him to your friends and to show him around the school before classes started. Unfortunately, you only had an art class together but you had the same lunch period which made up for it. And you got to see him before your statistics class since he had it right after. Most days, you’d see him on your way out of the classroom. And you’d let him know if Mister Lewis gave a pop quiz.
Usually it was more difficult to make new friends if you came in during senior year, when everyone already knew each other and had solidified their friend groups. But Mark didn’t seem to have that problem. He was friendly, funny, and easily likeable. It was like everyone gravitated toward him immediately. To be honest, you loved that for him.
You pressed Doyoung’s contact to call him on Facetime. He said he was usually free around this time, so you figured you’d call to say hello. The phone rang a few times and then Doyoung declined your call, sending a text saying that he was busy and that he’d call you later. The thing was, he was always busy. You’d hardly spoken to him this week, you realized. The good morning and goodnight texts were fewer and fewer; Facetime calls a thing of the past.
Part of you wondered why you were putting up with this long distance relationship when the distance was clearly getting in the way. You hadn’t told any of your friends about the fact that you and Doyoung had hardly spoken since he left. It felt embarrassing, almost. His relationship status was still on Facebook and he still had pictures on his Instagram account. But that didn’t seem to mean much. You looked back at some of your old pictures and the captions. You looked at the sweet comments he wrote about you.
To the girl whose smile brightens up my world, happy birthday my love ❤️
The most beautiful girl I know 😍
You mean the world to me, babe 🥰
Now it was as if you were an afterthought. Did you still mean the world to him? No, you thought. If he really cared about you, he wouldn’t be like this. He’d had weeks to get his shit together and adjust to the hustle and bustle of New York City. Moving away to school was no excuse for him to be acting as if you weren’t still his girlfriend.
You sighed, throwing your phone back in your bag before your friends sat down at the table. Amber and Phil took their seats across from you. You tried to put on your best smile; the last thing you wanted was for your friends to ask you what was wrong. And, after all, they were probably tired of hearing that you missed Doyoung and that you were going to apply to NYU too. You were certain they were tired of hearing it and you hated feeling like you were annoying people.
“Hey,” they said.
“What’s up?” you said.
Amber let out a sigh. “I have to find something to wear to my cousin’s party this weekend...Wanna go to the mall later? We can go play laser tag after.”
“I was thinking of staying in today,” you said.
Phil rolled his eyes. “Stay in and do what? Lay in your bed and watch Netflix while you eat a bag of chips?”
You chuckled. “Maybe…”
Mark took a seat next to you. “What’s going on?”
Before you could answer, Amber said, “Y/N’s being a party pooper and she’s not trying to go to the mall and laser tag later with us later.”
Mark turned to you. “That sounds like fun.”
“Yeah, you can come with us too,” she added. Then she turned back to you. “I know you’re not on your period because you get yours when I get mine. You can’t just stay home and be sad about Doyoung leaving forever...We miss him, too, you know!”
You knew she was right but you were hoping that you could FaceTime Doyoung tonight. You didn’t want to potentially miss out on him returning your call if you went out with your friends. Because you hardly knew when and if he was busy. Life wasn’t going to slow down just because of the time difference between New York and California.
Mark didn’t want to open any old wounds but, from the context he assumed that Doyoung was a love interest of yours. He didn’t know whether it was a past relationship or an ongoing one. He had so many questions but, again, he didn’t want to stick his nose in your business. Part of him couldn’t help but to be disappointed at the possibility of you currently being in a relationship. But he swallowed those feelings.
Being alone at home was when you felt the most heartbreak. You saw Doyoung sitting in the chair at your desk. You saw him hovering above you in the bed when you took each other’s virgnities. You saw him falling asleep on the bed when you went in the kitchen to get snacks.
Your mom had picked up a night shift at the hospital and you were alone. Hearing the silence in the apartment didn’t help these invasive thoughts and empty memories.
You’d decided to sit in the living room instead, hoping that it would remind you a little less of Doyoung. The phone vibrated on the coffee table. You grabbed it, hoping that it was him. Unfortunately, it was just the group chat, with Amber saying that she just got home and Mark writing for her to send the pictures they’d taken earlier.
The worst feeling is when your phone vibrates and you expect it to be that one person you long for. You were getting frustrated. You’d texted him hours ago and he didn’t bother to reply. What was worse, though, was the fact that he was at a party according to his Instagram story. You’d seen shot glasses strewn across the white marble countertops of whoever’s fancy apartment he was at, with whatever new friends he’d made since moving to New York City.
You were jealous, you had to admit. Back then you knew that he’d choose NYU if he got accepted; it was his first choice and you never would’ve tried to convince him not to go for the sake of your relationship. You weren’t that selfish and you never argued about it. You remembered the day he told you like it was yesterday.
You walked into the kitchen, following behind Doyoung. He grabbed two water bottles from the fridge, handing you one. You hopped onto the barstool, waiting for him to join you. He leaned down to plant a soft kiss on your lips.
“You look so pretty today,” he said, running his fingers lightly across your shoulder. “I love this dress on you.”
“Thanks,” you said.
Before you could say anything else, Doyoung said, “I’ll be right back. I forgot to check the mail. Everyone’s been getting their acceptance letters lately.”
You nodded, taking a sip of the water while you waited for him to come back. A moment later, Doyoung was running into the kitchen, jumping up and down like a maniac. “I got in! I got in! Babe, I got into NYU...and I got a small scholarship, too!”
He picked you up off of the barstool, spinning you around. When he put you down, you stood on the tips of your toes. “Congratulations. You’re amazing! I told you you’d get in!”
Once he came down from his high, he frowned. “New York is so far away…What about us? You’re still a junior...”
“Hey, it’s only April,” you said. “We can think about the other stuff later, okay?”
He held your face in his hands, looking you deeply into your eyes. “You’re the best. Let’s just enjoy the time I have before I leave…and that means that we have to have the best summer ever!”
It was the best summer you’d had in a long time. You and Doyoung were inseparable. Most days, you were together. It got to a point where your mom jokingly asked you when Doyoung was going to help pay the rent since he was over so often. You did all the fun things teenagers did over summer vacations. You got ice cream, you went to the zoo, you stayed in and watched movies, you went to the beach with friends, and you went to barbecues together. You even accompanied him to buy things he needed for college, running around with him and his parents to Target, Walmart, and TJ Maxx.
Apparently that was easier said than done and summer was the easy part. You didn’t expect Doyoung to be at your beck and call or anything but you didn’t expect to feel so...lonely. He promised you that things would be fine. He told you that he didn’t want to break up and that he wanted to stay together. He’d mapped out all the times you could visit and he even said he’d help you pay for a flight. But it’d been a month since he left and it felt like the longest month of your life. You felt like he was a stranger. The two of you had spoken but things were far from how they used to be.
You picked up your phone, unable to take it much longer. If anything, you just wanted to hear the sound of his voice, just for a moment. You called Doyoung and the line began to ring, the sound echoing through your airpods. It rang and it rang and, just before you thought it would go to voicemail, music filled your ears.
“Hello?” you said, unsure if he’d answered by accident.
“Hey,” he answered.
“I just wanted to see how you were doing…”
Doyoung didn’t say anything but from what you could hear, the sound of the music seemed to get further and further away. “What did you say?”
“I said I just wanted to see how you were doing.”
“I’m at a party.”
“Yeah,” you said. “I saw…Um, are you having fun?”
“Yeah,” he said, chuckling. “I mean, I’m pretty drunk right now.”
You could hear in his voice that he had been drinking but it didn’t bother you. Talking to a drunk Doyoung was better than not talking to him at all, you figured.
“I miss you…”
He sighed. “I know. You tell me that like every day…”
You were taken aback by his response. Usually when you told someone you missed them, they’d usually say that they missed you too; not “I know.” Especially when that person was your significant other that you’d spent the last two years with.
“We hardly talk, you know.”
“I’ve been busy.”
You let out a sigh. These were the words that you were all too familiar with. Busy, you thought. Busy with what? Did he think you had all the free time in the world or something? Did he think that you didn’t get busy? Sure, you weren’t taking college level courses like he was and you were sure the workload was different but you didn’t feel that calling for a few minutes to say goodnight was asking for too much. You didn’t think that a text checking up on you here and there was too much. You were putting in all of this effort and you weren’t getting much in return.
Doyoung said, “What do you want from me, Y/N? I mean, really? I’m all the way over here, the time difference is three hours and I’ve been busy. I’m in college now. I have other shit to deal with.”
Your heart dropped at the venom in his words. Was he for real? You were starting to get angry. “I want you to be my boyfriend, Doyoung! I want you to find some time to talk to me every now and then. What are we together for if we’re not going to at least do that?”
“I don’t know…”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Maybe this was a bad idea…”
Your heart was starting to break. “You don’t mean that…”
“You’re drunk, Doyoung…”
Suddenly, you heard some background noise and a knock on a door. Then, a woman’s voice. “Doyoung, come back to the party,” she said, in one of those whiny voices girls make when they’ve had a few drinks. “Were you on the phone?”
“It’s no one,” you heard him say, before the line went dead. You weren’t sure how long you’d been staring at the phone screen but you were in shock. It wasn’t until around five minutes later that you’d even realized what happened. You couldn’t believe what had just happened. It was as if Doyoung was a completely different person. Was it because he was drunk and saying things he didn’t mean? Was it because he really did feel that way?
You broke down into the tears that didn’t fall earlier. How could he say those things to you? Did the promises you’d made to each other mean nothing? He promised you. He promised you that things wouldn’t end up like this. And you believed it. You believed everything that he said to you back then, stupidly, foolishly. Like an idiot, you let him convince you that a long distance relationship could work, that maybe you could apply to a school in New York too. He made you believe that your love was strong enough to withstand the distance. After all, you’d been with him for almost two years. It wasn’t as if you’d only started dating months before all of this had happened.
You stepped out onto your balcony, needing a moment for some fresh air. And that was when all the tears came out, and you held onto the cold, black iron that lined the balcony. You held on, as if for dear life. Your heart had never hurt so much. Your boyfriend had pretty much told you that he didn’t have time for you and that maybe you shouldn’t have kept the relationship going in the first place.
Was it a crime to miss him? Was it a crime to still be in love with him? What was so wrong about missing him and wanting to talk to him during the day? Did he just get annoyed at the notifications he got from you? You allowed yourself to be vulnerable by even being in this relationship in the first place. And now the person who was supposed to love and care for you was making you feel small and insignificant with his harsh words.
Then you heard the sliding door in the apartment next to yours. The two balconies were connected, only separated by the black iron divider, and at a time like this, you wished they weren’t. Great, you thought.
You sniffled, wiping your tears with the backs of your hands. “Yeah?”
“The window was open and I, uh, heard someone crying. I thought it might be you. Are you...okay?”
“No,” you said, “but I will be…”
“I know you will.”
You turned around to face Mark. You gave him a half smile. You were in a vulnerable state, in front of your new friend with a tear stained face and red, swollen eyes. You said, “I’m sorry you have to see me like this.”
Mark shook his head. “No. It’s okay. This can stay between us, okay?”
You said, “Okay.”
“Do you wanna get ice cream? Cold Stone closes at 10:30 and that might make you feel a little better.”
You nodded. “I won’t say no if you’re buying.”
Mark met you outside in the hallway five minutes later. He smiled when he saw you but he didn’t say anything. He figured that whatever it was you were upset about might’ve had something to do with the boyfriend everyone had mentioned earlier at lunch. But, of course, he wouldn’t ask any questions. If you told him anything, Mark wanted it to be because you wanted to share your feelings, not because you felt obligated.
The walk to Cold Stone was quiet for the first couple of minutes. You didn’t say much and Mark wanted to at least take your mind off of whatever it was that was bothering you.
He said, “Laser tag is fun. I haven’t been since I was like ten.”
“Me and my friends go all the time. And on Fridays the tickets are half off from five to eight.”
Mark nodded. “Your friends are cool too. I’m glad it wasn’t weird. I was a little nervous since you weren’t going…”
“Yeah. I mean they’re your friends…”
You nudged him. “You mean, our friends.”
That brought a smile to his face. Mark had met a lot of people over his first week of school, but he felt the most comfortable around you; it felt nice to feel included and to share the same friend group. “Yeah. Our friends.”
You ended up at the ice cream shop a few minutes later. For a Friday night, it wasn’t too crowded. Usually on nights like this, there was a line out of the door. But tonight, you’d lucked up. Mark ordered a chocolate ice cream cone with Oreo pieces and you got the cheesecake flavor in a cup because you hated how messy the cones got at the end. The two of you grabbed a table outside since it was still pretty nice out.
You sat down, digging into your ice cream with your spoon. “So how was your first week here?”
“It was good,” said Mark, scooping some ice cream out of his cone with his tongue. “I’ll give it four stars.”
“Well it would’ve been five if you came to laser tag. And also if your feelings weren’t hurt.”
You chuckled. “Okay, I promise I’ll come next time. It was probably a bad idea to stay in anyway…”
“Hanging out with friends is a good way to take your mind off things.”
“I guess you kinda heard earlier that I’m in a long distance relationship right now.” Mark nodded. You sighed in frustration, sticking your spoon deep into the ice cream cup. “I don’t know. If you’re in a relationship, you should want to talk to your girlfriend, right?”
Mark said, “I never had a girlfriend before, to be honest...but when I like someone, I wanna talk to them all the time.”
“Yeah...it doesn’t seem like my boyfriend doesn’t wanna talk to me. He was making it seem like he doesn’t want to be with me...that maybe we shouldn’t have stayed together.”
“So he broke up with you?”
“No,” you explained, “but he may as well have...And to make things even worse, I heard a girl talking to him in the background and then he hung up.”
“I’m sorry,” said Mark. Things were silent for a moment. Mark didn’t know this guy but he couldn’t believe that he’d treat you like this. “You deserve better than that. You deserve to be with someone who wants to talk to you, even when they don’t have a lot of time. Someone who treats you like a princess. Someone who doesn’t make you cry from hundreds of miles away…”
You smiled a small smile. These kinds of words were meant to make you feel better but, for some reason, they still made you feel sad. You were sad because you thought of how things could’ve been. You imagined an alternate reality where you and Doyoung stayed together and he actually carved time out of his day for you, a reality where he cared for you despite being far away. You also imagined a reality where you and Doyoung just broke up instead of trying to pursue a long distance relationship. It wouldn’t have been easy by any means but at least you wouldn’t have been holding onto something that was dead and gone. At least you’d have no choice but to accept things as they were.
“Love sucks,” you said.
And, just as you said that, Mark’s chocolate ice cream fell to the concrete with a splat. Mark stared at it for a few seconds, in complete shock. Then he stared at his empty waffle cone.
Mark said, “Apparently the ice cream thinks love sucks too.”
And the two of you burst out in a seizure of laughter and giggles that almost made you forget about your broken heart.
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j. jaehyun | never not.
➞ SUMMARY | “Sigh. Jung Jaehyun: the boy with a golden heart. Who loved too much, but also dreamed too much.”
↳ PAIRING | jung jaehyun x fem!reader
↳ WORD COUNT | 5.7k words.
↳ GENRE | strangers to friends to lovers?. fluff. angst. you’re going to probably hate me for this one.
↳ TW | brief mention of drugs and alcohol. swearing. some mentions of other nct members. jaehyun is hopelessly in love. angst. fluff.
➞ A/N | my second work for the valentine bingo! this is a repost from my old blog, so for some people it might be familiar. inspired on lauv’s song “never not”! hope you enjoy.
Waking up to a noisy truck turning on the street outside was definitely not something that Jaehyun liked to start his day with.
But waking up next to you, your arm around his waist and your head gently resting on his chest, definitely was. In fact, he liked it a lot.
Jaehyun had always thought you were the most beautiful person he had ever seen in his life, but to see you sleep while peacefully holding him, the quiet beating of both your hearts together in that moment full of warmth, was definitely on another level. His heart flipped a thousand times, and he felt that not even in a thousand lives would he be able memorize the beauty of your face.
“Good morning, Dimples,” you whisper after a moment. Jaehyun comes out of his momentary trance and smiles tenderly when he hears the sleepiness hanging on the edge of your voice.
He gives you a soft kiss on the forehead, then leaves another on your nose, and then another on your cheek. You laugh and he swears he’s never heard such a beautiful melody in his life. He doesn’t feel worthy of hearing it, but he’s proud to have been the cause of such a perfect sound.
“Good morning, love, did I wake you up?”
You shake your head, snuggling closer to him.
“What time is it?”
“It’s close to seven something, you should sleep a little more.”
“Mmh,” you make a sound of agreement. “I like your idea, let’s sleep a little more.”
His chest fills with that warm heat only your existence can give him, and before you can fall back into Morpheus’ arms, Jaehyun whispers: “You’re a sleepy head.”
“But you love me like this,” you mumble, your eyes already closed.
A sigh comes from his rosy pink lips, a smile forming again and making his adorable dimples come out for a moment. And then, he closes his eyes and moves his body closer to yours.
“You’re right y/n. I love you like this.”
Everything starts on a warm summer night. It was another of the parties his friend Yuta had decided to throw because it was his “birthday”.
Jaehyun rolls his eyes when he hears his friend saying that. Didn’t he already use that excuse just two weeks ago when he decided to throw a pool party?
“But your birthday’s in October, Yuta. We’re in the middle of June.”
The older of the two looks up from his Instagram feed for a moment to observe the brown-haired boy, then he gives him a shrug and turns his eyes again to the electronic device in his right hand.
“Whether it’s my birthday or my non-birthday, people don’t even care. Honestly? People just want to party, no matter the occasion, and who am I to deny them that? Hell, I could say it’s a Christmas party and people would still come.”
“Anyways, are you the police of reasons why parties are held? That never stopped you from coming to one in the past, Jaehyun.”
Jaehyun sighs, a bit annoyed, and places his fingers on the bridge of his nose. Yuta was right.
There hadn’t been a week since the summer had started that Yuta didn’t hold a party; at least two per week, and Jaehyun hadn’t missed any of them.
Only he felt that this one was going to be different. He could sense it.
Say what you want, call him crazy even, but when Jaehyun felt something, usually that “something” happened whether it was good or bad. Johnny made fun of him and called him “Spider-Jaehyun” with his “sixth arachnid sense”. He usually found it funny, but today there was something quite strange in his surroundings: something that made him feel like he had to be just waiting for anything strange to happen at any given moment.
“Jaehyun! I knew you would come! And you dragged Doyoung with you, too.”
An excited Yuta opens the door to his crowded house, packed with so many people it seems like it’s about to explode. Even though his friend’s house was three times as big as his, he was always surprised by how the white-haired boy got so many people to come to such an extent that the huge place seemed so tiny and suffocating.
“In retrospect, Nakamoto, I was the one who dragged Jaehyun out of his apartment to come to your ‘birthday party'” Doyoung mentions, quoting with his fingers in the air at the last word, his voice raised because of the music resounding loudly through the speakers. Hearing this, Yuta pouts.
"Jaehyun! How dare you not want to come to my birthday party? What kind of friend are you? You certainly wouldn’t win the friend-of-the-year award.”
“First of all, Yuta” Jaehyun also raises his voice, getting closer to the older boy so he could hear him better. Yuta smelled like lotion and a mixture of alcohol and cigarettes. He was like this already? It was barely nine o’clock.“It’s not your birthday, so I think you should leave that excuse aside, because one of these days you won’t even be able to remember when your birthday is.” Jaehyun points with one of his fingers observing his surroundings “Number two: where the hell do you always find so many people to come? Do you even know half of them?”
Yuta laughs as he places an arm over Doyoung and Jaehyun’s shoulders, drawing them deeper into the house and into the mass of bodies there. “Make yourselves at home! We have to have fun today! ”
And in just one moment, the oldest of the three disappears. Doyoung turns to look at Jaehyun and shakes his head.
Nakamoto Yuta was definitely a strange case.
It’s half past midnight (at least, that’s what was marked on the expensive-looking clock hanging on Yuta’s wall) and Jaehyun can’t seem to find Doyoung anywhere.
Doyoung told him that he was going to the bathroom and that they could leave after that, to which Jaehyun nodded before his friend went in search of a free bathroom without people kissing inside. Jaehyun told him that he was going to go find an outlet to charge his phone because the battery gleamed red with a menacing ‘5%’ on it.
Well, that had happened an hour ago, and Jaehyun was already thinking over the options that could’ve happened to him:
1. Doyoung didn’t hear him and left the place without waiting for Jaehyun.
2. Doyoung did hear him and left the place without Jaehyun anyway.
The boy sighs, rubbing his face with his hands. He didn’t doubt Doyoung, but it wasn’t like he didn’t know his friend’s antics either. Jaehyun leans against the wall, slowly sliding down it until he’s sitting next to his charging phone.
It wasn’t like Jaehyun didn’t know the way back home, it was that he felt very, very drunk right now and probably just a little bit too high to remember exactly if the way to reach his house was turning onto the block on the right or the block on the left.
He raises his hands, watching them closely, and wait, which one was the left one?
His wallet was in Doyoung’s car, so he couldn’t call a cab or an uber. Sure, he could probably ask to borrow money from Yuta or his friend Taeyong, but he didn’t even know where either of them were. There weren’t as many people as there were an hour ago, but there were still enough to know that he didn’t want to get into the crowd located just meters away from him.
If life was like the cartoons, we could’ve seen a small lightbulb coming out of Jaehyun’s head when he thought of something: an idea. Yuta wouldn’t mind Jaehyun staying at his home and sleeping on his couch, right? It was like a sleepover from the good old days; only this time it was without asking permission from his or Yuta’s parents, and without Yuta knowing either.
Sure, that could work.
Right at that moment, Jaehyun decides that he feels tired, very tired, and… since when has sleeping against the wall been so comfortable? He doesn’t know, nor does he care much about giving it a second thought.
“It’ll be only for a moment,“ he says to himself as he closes his eyes.
His “moment” doesn’t last even five minutes, because three guys standing a little further away at his right start vaping, and despite the fact that Jaehyun isn’t a saint and he has done that and probably stronger things, he cannot help but feel overwhelmed at the smell of the strawberry smoke.
What the hell were these three kids doing vaping while leaning against his wall?
Oh, right. This wasn’t his wall, it was Yuta’s wall.
Jaehyun was still at Yuta’s house.
When he catches a glimpse of someone falling from one of the many small tables Yuta had in his huge living room, and when the smoke intensifies, leading directly to his face and making him cough, that’s the moment when he decides that some fresh air from the backyard probably wouldn’t hurt at all.
Disconnecting his mobile device after a short wait for the battery to reach a full charge, he gets up and heads towards the back door of the house.
It was definitely better to be out here than inside. That suffocating feeling left right after he took a breath of the fresh air that the pleasant summer night offered him.
Yes, there were people out here as well, but it wasn’t that many compared to the crowd teeming inside.
Sitting on the edge of the pool made Jaehyun relax a little.
“Y/n!” A sudden scream near him makes him jump, startled by the sound.
Well, perhaps he spoke too quickly. The calm aura did seem too good to be true.
Jaehyun turns with a bit of annoyance towards the person who made what little peace of mind he had that night go out the door, which makes him do a double take because wow.
It’s like his senses return to his body, he can see two people talking, but one of them is the one that attracts his attention the most.
He knows he’s staring at this stranger without even hiding it, but he can’t help it.
He had never seen such a stunning person in his life.
As if it was fate, you turn over your shoulder and meet his eyes, and, even if it’s only for a second, Jaehyun feels like his heart is about to leave his chest.
A little bit of common sense comes to his head amidst his panic: don’t be weird, stop ogling like that, you’re going to scare her… oh my god why was it suddenly so hot? He raises a hand to his face, and is he blushing? The little bit of sanity he still has makes him turn his face forward, and look! The water and its quirky LED pool lights are suddenly the most interesting thing Jaehyun has ever seen that night.
Sighing, he closes his eyes and sits cross-legged. He doesn’t know why he lost his cool for a moment there, it’s not as if he had never seen such a beautiful person, perhaps he needed to go out to other places other than Yuta’s parties or his work, and it’s at this moment when he decides he’s going to consider taking Johnny up on an offer of his to go to his summer house next month.
He feels a small breeze brush his left arm, which causes chills to travel from the nape of his neck and down his spine, and a fresh smell between mint and something sweet floods his senses. The presence of someone next to him, watching him closely with curiosity, makes him open his eyes to know what was happening.
When Jaehyun sees your face up close, his breath hitches in his throat because wow, if you were pretty from afar, then from here you were like a work of art ready to be admired for hours. His fingers get filled with a strange sensation, like when you see something nice and you want to touch it out of curiosity, but even though he’s a little drunk, he knows that doing it would make things weird, and the last thing he wants to do is cause you any discomfort.
Your soft voice seems to be dripping with honey, and Jaehyun feels himself becoming addicted and wanting to hear more from you, so he says the first thing that comes to his blurred mind at that moment.
“Uh.. are you talking to me?”
The boy closes his eyes in embarrassment, cringing at himself.
Was that really the best thing you could say, Jaehyun?
Stupid, a thousand times stupid.
A few seconds later, your laughter reaches his ears and he doesn’t know if he’s more embarrassed or if he should try to reach his phone to record such a sweet sound made by such a beautiful person. If Jaehyun’s reasons for living were questioned at that moment, he would swear that one of his missions that life had assigned him was to make that beautiful sound come out of your lips.
He opens his eyes and meets yours, glowing as if they harbored all the stars in them.
God, heaven must be jealous that an angel like this lived on the earth instead.
“Ah,” you scratch your neck while pretending to look everywhere, looking for people in the huge space that was almost empty “I don’t see another boy with dimples around here, unless you’re hiding Qian Kun behind you.”
Jaehyun shakes his head, then lowers his eyes and whispers, "Sorry.” You nudge him gently in the ribs to get his attention again and smile widely at him. His breathing got caught in his lungs again, you were going to be the cause of his death and yet he hardly knows you.
“What are you doing all alone out here?”
“Uh, well…” he shrugs his shoulders reluctantly. “I’m kind of bored, and I just… just needed air, there are a lot of people in there, you know?”
You make a small “mmh” in understanding, nodding “I know, and to be honest… Come here, I’ll tell you a little secret.” You approach him cautiously with a hand near your mouth, like a small child would if they were about to confess they just stole a piece of candy from their mother’s purse. “Come a little closer, Dimples, I promise I don’t bite.” You laugh and Jaehyun feels your warm body vibrate against his arm, making his mind blur for a moment. Your breath brushes the back of his ear, you whisper very softly “I don’t know the boy whose party this is, a friend invited me; I only know it was his birthday… and I really like birthday parties.”
Now it’s Jaehyun’s turn to laugh; you really were adorable. He separates from your side and looks at you with amusement behind his brown orbs "Oh, you shouldn’t have told me that.”
“Oh? Why’s that?” You tilt your head to the side, unsure what he means.
“Because, Darling,” Jaehyun approaches you again, and just like you did, he repeats your actions, a hand covering his mouth to reveal his own secret to you. He manages to see that he wasn’t the only one affected here. This was mutual, and he loved it.
“I’m one of the best friends of the guy who threw the party, so rest assured I’ll tell him about your little secret.”
He moves away just in time to see your eyes widen, a fake gasp full of fake surprise coming from your lips, he laughs at your dramatic performance.
“Dimples! If you had mentioned that before, I definitely wouldn’t have said anything to you! You totally seemed like someone who knows how to keep secrets.” You sigh deeply, shaking your head, “apparently I was wrong, wasn’t I? ”
Jaehyun decides to follow your game, touching his chin while pretending to think very carefully.
“Well… there’s something you can do for me.”
"Tell me! My life and reputation are at risk if this secret were to come to light. What would society think of me?” Your words matched your melodramatic acting, making Jaehyun smile inwardly.
“You can give me your name and number, and I’ll definitely keep your secret.”
You go silent for a moment, a moment Jaehyun considered to be too long, and panic breaks out in him.Was he being too direct? Was there still time to take back what he said?
Before his brain can come up with a plan to get out of this situation, you pull a glittery pink pen from your back pocket of your denim shorts and grab his arm by lifting the sleeve of his white shirt, then start writing your number there on the smooth surface of his skin.
“You’re smooth with words, Dimples,” you whisper gracefully. “And you drive a hard bargain,” you tease.
When you’re done, you get up from your place next to him, smiling broadly at him. He imitates your actions, and then you offer him your pinky finger and look at him expectantly.
“Well, Dimples? You have to seal your promise. Come on, give me your finger, too.”
Jaehyun raises an eyebrow, amused.
“With a pinky promise? Is that your way of sealing important deals?”
“Hey! For your information, Dimples, pinky promises are one of the most important and unbreakable promises of a lifetime. If you were to break it, a curse would fall upon you and your next generations.”
Jaehyun narrows his eyes. "You just made that up, right?”
You shrug your shoulders with a funny smile “You’ll never know, Dimples. First you have to fulfill this promise to keep my secret so that I can keep telling you more in the future.“
”In the future.“ Jaehyun liked hearing that; it sounded like a promise to keep talking, a commitment that had been thrown on the table in hopes that he would see more of you again. He smiles, nodding.
"You’re right,” he said, joining your fingers and sealing the so-called “promise”.
“Well, Dimples-” you start walking in reverse while still looking at the beautiful brown-haired man looking back at you with expectant eyes “-I have to go, although only for tonight! Have a good rest of your evening, Dimples.”
With that, you turn around and start to open the sliding glass door that separates the quiet place from the loud crowd of people.
Suddenly, Jaehyun realizes something: you didn’t tell him your name!
"Hey, wait!” Jaehyun yells, making you stop in your tracks and look at him with a confused face. “You didn’t tell me your name.”
“Ah, my name is y/n!”
“Y/n,” Jaehyun repeats quietly, liking how your name fits perfectly on his lips. The name was just as pretty as you.
“I’ll be waiting for your call, Dimples!”
And with one last flash of your smile, you disappear from his sight amongst the neon lights flashing from inside the house.
Jaehyun bites his lip and lies down near the pool, sighing deeply as he watches the inky black sky. The silently glowing moon the only witness to the exchanges of looks and words that you and he had shared that fateful night.
His senses definitely didn’t fail him.
“Thank you Kim Doyoung for forcing me to come and then abandoning me,” he whispered, eyes closed and hands folded in gratitude.
After all, he had gotten to know the joy of meeting you.
Jaehyun definitely kept his promise, he called you the next day and invited you to lunch.
One date turned into two dates, and two dates definitely led the way to more and more dates with you.
His life before you was an aimless road, and not to sound very dramatic, but now that you were in his present, he could only think of how lucky he was that you were with him, of being able to love you freely. He could think of the future that awaited both of you and his heart only seemed to fill with more love for you every day just by thinking that he wanted you in his life forever.
Jaehyun couldn’t fool anyone: you had him wrapped around your finger, trapped under your charms. But that was what he loved the most. He loved everything about you, from your mannerisms while speaking to when your eyes shine with emotion when you freely talked about a subject that you loved. Maybe it was the way you laughed and made everything inside him move intensely and cause a feeling of happiness that made him feel as alive as he had ever felt. Your hugs made him feel full, your scent so soft, delicate and perfect for him, so intoxicating. That way you smiled at him and only him, like it was a secret between the two of you that no one else could have the joy of knowing. If we all had the happiness of choosing to die at the hands of our favorite addiction, Jaehyun would definitely choose to die from you and your kisses, for those lips that sculpted his favorite thing in the world: your smile. Love poems and romantic songs would never be enough to describe how much he was in love with you; there were simply not enough words in all the existing vocabularies and languages that could describe how precious you were to him.
The love of his life, his soulmate and his other half for ever and ever; Jaehyun felt that people were exaggerating when describing love but now that his heart had a reason to beat, he can only think that people definitely fell short in describing a feeling as precious as the one he felt towards you.
Describing you? You were his muse, one of his reasons for living. He would live and die for you, and if we’re talking about reincarnation, he would search for you eternally in every life, because you were definitely the only person made for him.
It was close to midnight already, and in two weeks you’d be having your two year anniversary since you started dating, since you gave him the “yes” to give him permission to love you without any restrictions.
The happiest two years of Jaehyun’s life.
You were sitting with your back facing him at the small wooden breakfast counter in the kitchen of your shared apartment, and you were concentrating on reading a book that Jaehyun’s mother gave you at Christmas. Your boyfriend was quietly washing the dishes from dinner while he quietly hummed a song.
When he finishes his chore he turns to where you were and tilts his head a little, his arms crossed over his chest and a smile full of love trying to escape his lips.
He cannot believe that every day you’re only getting more and more beautiful, that with each day that passes he only manages to fall deeper in love with you. He’s observing your profile in the low lights, his eyes tracing every little curve of your face, trying to memorize you as if you were a masterpiece.
It wasn’t fair that the universe made you so perfect.
Jaehyun listens to your quiet laugh and your eyes meet his, a tender pout on your lips, and Jaehyun can’t help but think about how much he wants to kiss you.
“You always do that.“
"Do what, love?”
You get up from your seat, your forgotten book already on the table as you approach him with slow steps. His heart beats in anticipation of you approaching him, and he feels like a teenager in love again but he can’t help it, you cause all these indescribable yet beautiful feelings in him.
“This, you always stare at me for a long time. It’s not like it bothers me, Dimples. I’m flattered that a beautiful human being such as you stares at me.”
Jaehyun’s deep laugh echoes in the small room as he shakes his head. “It’s not my fault that I can never get used to having a person as beautiful as you living with me.”
You put your hands around his neck and he sighs as he wraps his arms around your waist to pull you closer to him.
And like this, being in each other’s embrace, the two of you begin to move slowly from one side to the other, slow dancing to a nonexistent tune.
Jaehyun starts singing, his beautiful voice echoing in your ear, and you swear that you have never loved someone like you love Jung Jaehyun.
“Look at the stars, look how they shine for you, and everything you do… Yeah they were all yellow.”
“Singing Coldplay to me?“ You speak softly, trying not to break the moment “you’re such a heartthrob, Dimples.”
"This is just for my best girl. My favorite person in the world. ”
Jaehyun separates a little from you so he can leave a little kiss on the crown of your head, leaving his lips there while he continues singing for you.
Once again, only the moon is there to witness the two of you and your unconditional love.
Jaehyun can’t help but think how lucky he was to have you in his life.
It was a Saturday afternoon, and it was raining lightly. You were lying on your boyfriend’s lap while he played with your hair.
“That’s enough, Dimples, you’re going to tangle it up and then I’ll look ugly.”
He rolls his eyes playfully You? Ugly? You could wear a garbage bag as a dress and you’d still be the most beautifully perfect person his eyes have ever seen. He leans down a little and leaves a small kiss on your nose, making you smile.
“You’re always beautiful, y/n.“
Still, he doesn’t complain when one of your hands intertwines with his fingers in your hair, Jaehyun’s smile widens to see how even though your hand was smaller than his, they fit perfectly as if they were two interconnected puzzle pieces. He raises your hand to leave a kiss on the back of it while you continue your conversation from earlier.
"Don’t you think we should change the destination? We could rent a house and spend the weekend there. Do you think your parents would like the idea?”
Jaehyun narrows his eyes as he thinks carefully. Since last year, every few months your parents and Jaehyun’s, along with the two of you, went on “holidays” to spend quality family time together. Your parents adored your boyfriend. He was handsome, charismatic, polite, and they could see the sparkle in his eyes whenever his gaze fell on you. Jaehyun’s parents? They loved you, they could see how incredibly happy you made their son.
“It’d be a good idea, Angel. It’s just a matter of planning ahead as we’ve always done, don’t you think?”
You nod, your eyes closing little by little in the calmness in the room Your boyfriend smiles and tries not to move so as to not wake you up.
There was something about your aura that made him feel at home every time he saw you. You were his home, his sacred refuge; in you he found that peace and warmth he never stopped looking for but his life still lacked.
"I can’t wait to marry you, love of my life.”
If you weren’t about to fall asleep, you probably wouldn’t have heard it.
But you heard it.
You open your eyes and immediately sit up next to him, that familiar glint in your pupils Jaehyun knew but could never figure out.
Jaehyun loved mysteries.
“What did you say?” You ask in a quiet tone as you eyed him carefully. He bites his bottom lip and he repeats his words:
“I can’t wait to marry you, y/n.”
Of all the smiles you had given him, this one was surely the most beautiful he had ever seen you wear on your precious face. You laugh nervously and hug him, leaving an effusive kiss on his rosy cheek.
“Will you marry me?”
He has never answered a question that fast in his life. His heart was beating a thousand miles per hour as he cups your cheeks gently and brings your face closer to his, mere inches left between the both of you.
“Y/n, you’re the love of my life, you’re the person for me, you’re the person I love the most in this world. I don’t have a ring to give you right now or for a while, and I know that we’re still very young and don’t know what the future holds for us, but I want you to know that my life and my heart are only for you until I take my last breath. Today I’m asking you and I’ll ask you years later from now.” Jaehyun sighs, and in a shaky voice he asks, “would you do me the honor of marrying me, Angel?“
You close the distance between the two of you, kissing him slowly and lovingly and gently. The connection of his lips with yours only lasts a few seconds, and then you part a little again while your lips brush his whenever you speak.
"Jung Jaehyun, I would love to marry you.”
His dimples come out again as you close the space between you with another kiss, this time longer, and more intense.
Something that meant everything would be fine for the both of you.
That kiss tasted like promise.
"Hey, psst. Wake up.”
Jaehyun feels someone pushing his shoulder, to which he growls lowly and turns onto his other side to continue sleeping. A sigh followed by sounds of someone moving things is what finally draws his attention.
Jaehyun opens his eyes when he feels something cold and wet run from his head to his pants, making his clothes stick to him.
“What the fuck?”
The first thing he sees when he opens his eyes is one Nakamoto Yuta smiling way too bright to be a Saturday morning after a wild party. The second thing he notices is that you’re not there, and that he isn’t in your shared apartment either, but instead in his friend’s house. He frowns in confusion.
“Good morning, little flower, did you sleep well in that corner of my wall? My God, Jaehyun, I’ve got nothing against you staying at my house, bro. You know that my house is your house, too right? ” Yuta says as he refills the glass of water, this time to take a sip of the water, then continues talking. “But you know where the guest rooms are. And I thought you left with Doyoung? Well, anyway-”
The older’s words turn into white noise in Jaehyun’s ears, his head aching from the hangover he was having at the moment, and Yuta’s constant talking was definitely not doing anything to improve such excruciating pain. He just wanted answers. Where were you? Why weren’t you there with him by his side? Why did he have that uncomfortable feeling of emptiness in his chest?
“-I really didn’t want to wake you up like this, Jaehyun, but the cleaning people have to do their job and I tried to wake you up for about ten minutes straight, you pretty much made me do t-”
Yuta’s chatter suddenly stops, squatting down to catch up with his friend leaning against the wall to be able to make eye contact with him, confused.
Jaehyun clears his throat, “y/n.”
“Jaehyun, there were a loooot of girls yesterday, could you give me a brief description?”
The boy begins to describe you in detail, and Yuta narrows his eyes for a moment, then lets out a tiny gasp.
“Sure! I remember her. She was wearing denim shorts and a red sweatshirt three sizes bigger than her.” He makes a sound of affirmation, “a really pretty girl without a doubt.”
Jaehyun looks at his friend expectantly, but Yuta gives him a confused look as he briefly shrugs his shoulders.
"What else can I say? I saw her, she came with four other people, she wished me happy birthday and left early. I don’t know anything else about her, she’s a friend of a friend of another friend of a friend of Sicheng… or something like that.” He scratches his neck in shame for not being able to give his friend more information. "Sorry Jaehyun, that’s all I know.”
That couldn’t be possible, this definitely had to be a dream. A nightmare, and he had to wake up as soon as he could to be with you again, didn’t he?
Because this was not his reality, right?
“Uhh, are you alright, du-”
“See you later, Yuta.”
Without saying more, Jaehyun gets up quickly and without a care that everything around him was spinning, taking his phone and leaving the house while leaving a very confused Yuta behind.
Yes, Jaehyun saw you that night, but it wasn’t when he went out to the backyard. He actually never went out into the backyard. He saw you when he arrived at the party with Doyoung; you were leaning against a parked car. Holy shit, you had looked radiant, you looked like a model, you had that dazzling demeanor that made Jaehyun believe, for the first time in his life, that love at first sight did exist. You connected your eyes for a second and you gave him a flashing smile.
Then you took your eyes off of him because one of your friends called your name. But that’s all.
He never spoke to you, he never fell in love with you, he never knew you as he thought he knew you, he never had a story with you.
And he’ll never be able to write his story with you.
That feeling of warmth he had felt is suddenly transformed into a cold, empty one. He doesn’t know what was there to begin with, but he misses it deeply.
“Maybe love isn’t for me,” he thinks.
And there, lying on his wide and cold bed, in his large and hopelessly empty apartment, he closes his eyes once more, with the small hope of dreaming of your love again.
Of being able to dream of you again.
Sigh. Jung Jaehyun: the boy with a golden heart. Who loved too much, but also dreamed too much.
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