#need to get them out of my system ugh | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fembutchboygirl · 2 years

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See my personal problem with that "my toxic trait is i hate pathetic people" post that's been going around is that it's exactly the type of reaction my brain is always telling me I'm gonna get if I open up about my self esteem issues. Because very often I will, in fact, find myself in a situation where I feel like I suck and everyone hates me, regardless of wether it's anywhere near the truth. And at those times I, like the human being with social and emotional needs that I am, would probably like to either

1. tell someone else about these awful things I'm feeling and how they upset me, thus creating an outlet for those negative emotions,

2. get a reality check and be reassured that no, my friends don't all secretly think I'm annoying garbage, or

3. both.

But here's the thing: I know that, if I tell my friends about it when I think I'm unloveable and selfish, they're going to tell me I'm wrong and say I'm a good person who deserves to be loved. Because they're my friends. So if I did it anyway knowing that this will happen, I must have been doing it because I wanted my friends to say nice things about me. Which means I would be hunting for compliments. I would be attention seeking, which is known unloveable and selfish behavior, which in turn would mean that I truly am all those things my brain says I am at those low moments. Do you follow?

So instead, I choose to curl up into a ball in my room and keep my thoughts to myself, because I don't want to do something as horrible and despicable as forcing my friends to say nice things about me. Which they probably don't mean anyway, since I'm clearly selfish and unloveable. That's how those moments usually go.

Sure, there's probably some people out there who constantly and repeatedly say self deprecating stuff because they get compliments that way. That's a compulsion, and it can sometimes be a bit of a douche move, but it usually means the person doesn't feel like they can hear nice things any other way and it should be treated with therapy. Much more common is people being truly insecure about something in the present and verbalizing it, hoping to get a response that eases that insecurity, be it a solution, confirmation, negation, reassurance, etc.

It's okay to want compliments. It's normal to feel happy when someone says something nice about you, and to seek out those moments. Most of the time, your friends will be happy to give you the attention you need or want — and if they aren't, they're responsible for communicating that to you healthily. Being annoyed by someone's constant self deprecation is also normal and completely understandable, but if your internal or external response every time someone says "oh man, I'm probably a horrible person, aren't I" is "yeah, you're right, you're a horrible person" then you need to evaluate that.

#ugh i just needed to get that out of my system. i didnt like that post can you tell #thanks to my friend who - when i half joked about being attention seeking while showing them some art that i made - told me #that i didn't need to worry because my art was amazing and he'd love to give me any attention i wanted #officially pulling me out of that secret neverending cycle of hating myself for having social/emotional needs #people want to give other people attention. it's what love is all about

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outahell · 2 years

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it has been one month exactly since i last sent a message to my friends of 25 years asking how they’ve been since i moved , and one month exactly since they decided to ignore it :’)

#⌜ / 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐎𝐅 𝐏𝐔𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐓𝐒 › ooc #honestly not even surprised tho #always felt like the 'i suppose we should include her friend' and ugh yeah #i've always had a feeling that if i were to move they'd not really care #one friend moved 20 mins away and they all wept #i've moved to another country and 'aw thats so sad'#aNYWAY me just getting this out my system before i write again but you're all lovely and honestly who needs them

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alaspoon · 6 days

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me and my adhd vs doing my taxes on time: FIGHT

#I have to keep telling myself I’ll go to jail for tax evasion or whatever if I dont do them #idek if thats true but I need to motivate myself #I want to rip apart the american tax system with my bare hands #YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I OWE DONT MAKE ME GUESS??#like ugh if I just had to sign and say ‘yes this is right take the money’ then I’d do it so fast!!#but I have to fill out so many fucking forms #maybe I’ll get money back tho?? I got a little bit back last year I think #ughghghghgh #spoon talks

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madaracore · 8 months

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#dont read this is just. Venting. the way thats easiest for me to get it all out #not to depressionpost but im so fucking lonely its not even funny #i just would like to be able to feel Loved #which is silly bc logically i KNOW that im loved by my (very small) circle but #object permanence or. I guess emotional permanence or WHATEVER you call it just hasnt worked for me in such a long time #and its so very hard to not lash out and be awful in my misery to the ppl around me whenever that bpd switch gets flipped #ik im overly clingy and annoying and hard to get along with. I love and want to be loved and needed like a whimpering dog. i KNOW this.#and ik it doesnt help that every horrible awful clingy insecurity gets amplified by the abandonment and bullying and hurt ive faced #i constantly feel like ive been left on the curb by my loved ones even though i know thats not whats happening.#like im stuck in last place again and again and again. like im not as good or as cherished as their other people.#Its so hard. it makes me want to say and do awful things bc i feel so Abandoned and I HATE IT!!!!!#i fixate on my loved one and get these possessive and insecure feelings over them and its so UGLY.#it was bad enough in high school but Everything Else Thats Happened has made that problem of mine so much harder to cope with and ignore #train derailed but re: the first point. its so hard for me to actually feel like people care and want me around.#And now ive become too afraid to ask for anything bc of how many times theyve cancelled or forgot or ignored the plans we make together.#like is it a me thing? Am i that forgettable? am i that insufferable? why am i always the odd man out?#ugh #Nothing i said makes sense. But whatever #okay sorry this is just a better alternative than hurting myself so.#i hate being alone. i hate having no support system. i hate being stuck in a traumatic and abusive situation i cant get myself out of.#it gets harder and harder to convince myself to keep going.#every day i wake up feeling so Abandoned that i consider sabotaging every good relationship left in my life rehoming my pets n then kms-ing #haha. 🤟🤟🤟🤟#Its hard dealinh with traumatic personality disorders #while also dealing with perpetual ptsd-triggering and almost complete isolation

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astraltrickster · 11 months

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What frustrates me about disability advocacy is that...of all the people I've seen talk about it, 99% of them - even ones who are disabled themselves - have eventually proven that their support has limits. Really stupid and arbitrary ones, at that.

You support disabled people...but if you see an adult with a DIAPER BULGE in their pants in public it's ON SIGHT, get your kink out of my face! Actually, even if it's not a kink, that's still gross and, like, it's not like the diaper exists to CONTAIN waste, you're a biohazard! Just stay home!

You support disabled people...but, ugh, you're so sick of masks, they feel so icky, the CDC isn't advising them anymore so really how bad can it be, if you don't want to be permanently disabled even worse than you already are then why don't you just stay home forever?

You support disabled people...but if you see anyone using a non-conventional straw that someone's billed as "anti-aging" on TikTok you proudly declare that you'll smack them, because what do you mean it might be a motor control or sensory thing?

You support disabled people...but no one is REALLY so disabled that they can't manage their lights conventionally, clean their homes by themselves, or hold a pen for extended periods of time or at all; that's just something people make up as an excuse for Bad Tech and exploitative luxury services.

You support disabled people...but, god, control your by-definition-uncontrollable tics, they're SOOOO annoying and rude!

You support disabled people...but when someone stops masking or runs out of spoons and starts speaking in a choppy, hard-to-understand way, it's a joke.

You support disabled people...but AAC is, like, sooooo annoying and hard to understand, learn to talk like a normal person instead of pointing like a baby or whatever, geez.

You support disabled people...but you hate image descriptions and video transcriptions because they're, like, sooooo ugly and transcriptions SPOIL things. (Not to be confused with "frequently not having the spoons to translate images and videos into text, which is a skill; one which everyone should try to develop, but a skill nonetheless" - I get that, it happens to me, but if you take issue with OTHER people adding them to your posts for Aesthetic Reasons, you're...kind of a dick! I'm not sorry for saying it!)

You support disabled people...but you think teehee funny joke annotations are a much more valuable use of caption tracks than, you know, actual captions are.

You support disabled people...but you still concern-troll people with armchair diagnoses of heavily stigmatized disorders for harmless weirdness, or try to paint them as icons of some kind of horrible social ill.

You support disabled people...but you're still convinced that every asshole is mentally ill, probably A Narcissist, and what do you mean that's a loaded thing to call someone when a heavily stigmatized disorder is rudely misnamed as such too, isn't it easier to, like, change the name of the disorder throughout the whole system than it is to just stop using that word as your go-to Bad Person Pathologizing Word, which you definitely need? (Or worse, you see no problem with this clash because you're convinced it IS Bad Person Disorder...)

You support disabled people...but you see someone mumbling to themself on the bus and you get as far away from them as possible because it's "scary".

You support disabled people...but you constantly try to pull "gotcha"s about people telling you not to touch people's assistive devices.

You support disabled people...but someone being okay with their delusional disorder and talking about that is BAD and PROMOTING SELF-HARM.

You support disabled people...but your body positivity still focuses exclusively on "people can be healthy and fat at the same time!" as if people who ARE fat because of health issues and/or have health issues BECAUSE of their weight don't exist or deserve support.

You support disabled people...but you declare that advocates who want us all to have more access to things that improve your quality of life are the REAL ableists for acknowledging that those things that you currently can't do tend to improve quality of life.

You support disabled people...but your advocacy for yourself involves distancing yourself from people with more support needs than you.

You support disabled people...but you treat addiction of any kind, or use of anything with known addictive tendencies, as a moral failing.

You support disabled people...until the accommodations they need clash with your own, then it's not just a benign incompatibility that sucks just as much for them as it does for you; no, you are an innocent victim and they are a horrible ableist.

You support disabled people...until it's too inconvenient. Too weird. Too scary. Once that line is crossed, it's not a disability issue anymore, they're, conveniently, just a Bad Person.

It's fucking exhausting and I'm sick to death of it.

#disability #serious tag #bitching #and even after i posted this i keep thinking of more shit people have said #not gonna edit them in because this post is long and has already been reblogged a couple of times #but might keep track of them in the tags or add more in a reblog #because. i can keep going.

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gottagobuycheese · 1 year

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well okay fine the first few months of this year MIGHT be shaping up to be uniquely hellish in a way I have never had the ability to experience before, but, once they’re done, regardless of how they actually go, I can look forward to utterly losing myself in breath of the wild 2 because as long as I am alive I can look forward to that. so it’s whatever it’s fine come at me emails I’m not afraid of you

#that's a lie I am very afraid but I am also soooooo done lol #staring into the gaping maw of an enormous public university about to invoke the wrath of two entire hospital systems #including but not limited to my actual program #because of. paperwork mazes.#I do recognize that yes I could have and should have completed my parts of it sooner #but also like #once I actually submitted it #why did you wait four months to tell me that none of it counts because I'm the one who sent it to you??#WHY DOES IT EVEN MATTER WHO SENDS IT AS LONG AS YOU GET IT #WHY DO YOU NEED TRANSCONTINENTAL TRANSATLANTIC POST WHEN I LITERALLY SENT THE EXACT SAME THING #my school didn't even have those papers!! they needed ME to send it to THEM just so THEY could send it HERE!!!!!!#ridiculous!! ridiculous!!!!#honestly if this is as far as I go I think I'd certainly make my peace with it but it'd kind of be a lousy way to go #having to quit instead of choosing to quit #what a pathetic sputtering end instead of intentionally walking out #(but god do I think about it every darn day lmao)#ugh anyway I hate emails I hate deadlines I hate paperwork and I especially hate things that combine all three #Cheese's personal molasses #Cheese evaporates about...job??#it's probably not that bad #it's really probably not that bad #this just means that I have two deadlines on the same deadline instead of just one #but to meet the second deadline the first has to be completed #and last time they took four freaking months to even look at the papers so. lol.#okay lets think of what actually needs to be done: timeline. fingerprints. pray there's no issues with what's already submitted #and then all the Second Deadline stuff #and also the re-certification stuff #(and eventually Notes and Logging and Studying and what not but that's separate)#okay not TOO bad. but I still need an Official Answer from my supervisor about what to call my first month of work now if it doesn't count #ANYWAYS GOOD LUCK TO ME AND GOOD LUCK TO YOU WHOEVER YOU ARE! HAPPY 2023!!! WE'LL KICK THIS YEAR IN THE BUTT!!!!!

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asterlark · 1 year

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i need to continue my murderbot reread maybe that'll fix me

#i recently reread all systems red i need to just get on with it and read artificial condition #i just have stuff planned for november that i wanna reaaadddd ugh #if even 1 person is interested ill post my november tbr it's the first time ive ever like sat down and planned out what im gonna read #it's kind of stressing me out already but i need to just chill and read what i wanna #bc i do wanna read all the books i selected! and some of them im already reading! so it'll be fine #also i planned it out bc im trying to do a readathon - bloomin readathon if anyone is interested! it's a very cute seemingly low presh one #hosted by one of my fav youtubers #anywayyy lol #just talking to myself in the tags #mine

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taeyongdoyoung · 10 days

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summary: your best friend brags complains that he can't get laid due to his huge dick posing a threat to random girls at parties, so you offer to fix his little big problem pairing: soobin x reader genre: smut, best friends to lovers warnings: explicit language, big dick soobin (canon event), size kink, foreplay, eating out, blowjob, hugging, fingering, size training, creampie, consensual intercourse, kissing, aftercare, allusions to death in a sexual context, lowkey possessive soobin at the end author's note: the killa is on my mind 24/7 and im down bad for soobin 25/8 🥵 so i had to get it out of my system somehow 🤷 word count: 2k

“You’re kidding, right?” you ask your best friend when he makes a rather shocking confession as the two of you are sitting in his bedroom after one of your usual anime marathons.

“I wish I was. But I would never lie to you,” Soobin responds truthfully. His big moist eyes look a 100% genuine but it still sounds so...bizarre.

“Let me get this straight…Every time you try to hook up with a girl at one of those parties Yeonjun keep dragging you to, you go to a room, eat them out like the generous, selfless guy you are, and then after you take off your pants, they get scared by your gigantic cock and refuse to have sex, running away in horror?”

“That’s exactly what I’ve been trying to explain for the past 10 minutes, yeah,” Soobin confirms with a very adorable pout on his stupid face.

You shake your head in utter disbelief.

“I’m sorry but this is just ridiculous. Any girl would be happy to hook up with a guy that has a huge dick.”

“Well, I guess not any girl ‘cause this shit has happened three times already and I’m at my limit. Why can’t I just get laid?” Soobin bemoans his tragic destiny.

“No, I don’t get it. The least they could do is give you a quickie or something to return the favour. It’s so rude to just sprint away. I can’t believe your cock is that terrifying.”

“Ugh, please stop saying that. It’s so embarrassing,” Soobin covers his face behind his big hands. Hold on a minute…

“If what you’re saying is true, then I think it’s pretty hot. Those girls are surely missing out.”

“Or maybe they’re just looking after themselves. Like…I’m not mad at them for being spooked out, I just wish I could finally get some, you know?” Soobin sighs.

“Death by dick does seem appealing,” you shrug.

“Y/N!” he exclaims.

“Listen, what if I make you an offer? You prove to me that you weren’t exaggerating about your size and I promise I won’t run away and will take care of your…frustrations.”

“Are you seriously suggesting this?” Soobin freaks out. “This could ruin our friendship.”

“I won’t be weird about it, I swear. What do you say?”

“Fuck it. I’m so horny that this actually sounds like a good idea,” Soobin admits. “Can I eat you out first?”

“Erm, if you insist,” you reply, suddenly feeling nervous.

“I just wanna take care of you, make sure you’re all nice and wet for me,” Soobin explains patiently.

“You really don’t have to,” you reassure him.

“I know but it’d be awkward for me to just whip it out. Please?”

“Oh…okay,” you really can’t imagine saying no when he’s asking you so sweetly. God, what did you get yourself into?

Soobin takes off your leggings and panties in one swift movement and pushes you down gently on the bed so you are in a lying position. He spreads your thighs apart and looks at your pussy, already glistening with wetness caused by the conversation you’ve been having. Soobin smirks but doesn’t say anything about it. You’re grateful for that as he dives in, licking and kissing all over you. Fucking hell, if his tongue is capable of making you feel this way, you are slightly unnerved to find out what his cock can achieve. But unlike those girls at the parties, you are determined to never run away from your best friend.

Soon enough, you reach your high, overwhelmed by Soobin’s insane tongue movements and his big hands gripping your thighs. You need a few moments to gather your thoughts and when you are finally able to speak, those are the first words that leave your mouth:

“I think they fleed because you eat pussy like a starved animal. Seriously, what the hell was that?”

Soobin chuckles nervously and runs his fingers through his black hair, pushing it back and exposing his forehead for a bit.

“Trust me, it’s not that.”

“Prove it,” you challenge him even though you are fairly certain he’s telling the truth. Your best friend has never lied to you, so why start now?

Soobin takes off his pants, his hands are shaking and you immediately feel bad. You put your hand on his in an attempt to calm him down.

“Hey, you don’t have to if you feel uncomfortable.”

“I do want this, but after so many failed attempts, I’m so anxious…”

“I’m not going anywhere, Soobin,” you insist and squeeze his hand reassuringly.

His skin complexion looks slightly less pale and your words seem to give him the confidence he so desperately needs. Moment of truth. Soobin takes off his boxers and…Oh damn, he was not exaggerating. He’s not just big, he’s so huge a part of you wonders how is it humanly possible to carry such a weapon around and maintain the gentle, humble composure with which Soobin carries himself.

“You’re not running yet,” he jokes.

“Soob?”

“Y-yeah?” his voice cracks, he is obviously terrified of what you’re going to say.

“I’m not gonna lie to you, I finally get why these girls ran away.”

“Oh,” he sounds a little dejected, as if already expecting you to go back on your offer.

“But! That’s not gonna stop me. Just tell me what you want first and I’ll try my best to make you happy.”

“Huh?” Soobin is too flustered to process your words.

“My hands, my mouth, or my pussy, what do you want first?”

“You mean…you’re willing to give me all of them?” he blinks in shock.

This poor, precious boy. Did he really face disappointment so many times that he is now looking a gift horse in the mouth with such uncertainty?

“Just pick, Soobie, I promise I’ll give you anything you need.”

“Um…can you suck me off? Please?”

Gosh, he’s so adorable you want to eat him.

You nod a little too enthusiastically and go down on your knees, taking as much of his cock as you can. It’s a tight fit but what you can’t put inside your mouth you make up for by wrapping your hands around him. You suck and lick and touch him, eager to give him as much pleasure as he did you. Your beloved best friend has obviously been frustrated for a while now because it doesn’t take him long to cum inside your mouth. There is so much you can’t manage to swallow it all despite your valiant efforts and you see some of it falling down your cheeks. You wipe it off with a finger, sticking it into your mouth, grinning widely at Soobin.

“Fuck, you’re incredible. What…how…are you okay?”

He presses his big palm against your cheek and it takes a lot of self-control for you to not melt right there and then.

“I’m great. Did…did it feel good for you?” you ask sheepishly.

You’re not particularly confident about your skills but you genuinely did your best for him.

“Are you crazy? It felt insanely good,” Soobin takes your hand, lifting you up and wrapping his arms around you in a hug.

“I’m glad,” you respond, feeling safer and warmer than ever before in your life.

“Do…you still want to…you know?” Soobin asks.

“If you’re asking whether you can put your cock inside my pussy, then yeah, go for it. As long as it’s something you want, of course.”

You keep reminding him to only do things he’s completely okay with, because you would hate to put your best friend in a situation he doesn’t enjoy just because of your greed.

“I want you so bad, you have no idea. But I think I’ll need to stretch you out a bit, yeah?”

“O-okay,” you quickly agree and in no time, Soobin’s long fingers are inside of your pussy, going deeper than your own have ever been and making you feel things you never even dreamed about.

“How does it feel?” Soobin asks in concern.

“Heavenly,” you admit and just as you’re about to reach your second orgasm, Soobin’s fingers leave you.

“N-no, why’d you do that?” you whine frustratedly.

“Wanna feel you come around my cock.”

As it turns out, you'd like this just as much so you quickly forgive him for ruining your orgasm.

“I think I have a condom in my-“ Soobin starts but you cut him off.

“I’m taking a pill. And I believe we’re both clean, so…”

“You gon’ let me fuck you raw?” Soobin inquires, not wanting to make assumptions.

“Yeah, I trust you,” you reply with conviction.

“You’re a dream,” Soobin chuckles and nudges the head of his cock against your moist entrance. You brace yourself for some level of discomfort and are surprised that it doesn’t come right away. Soobin takes his sweet time getting inside you, making sure you’re okay.

“Fuck, Soob, you're so big,” you moan, already feeling overstimulated.

“This is just the tip, baby,” he explains shyly, which makes you lose your mind.

Soobin goes deeper very slowly, making you feel every inch, stretching you out bit by bit.

“How much more?” you ask somewhat impatiently.

“Just a little bit. Can’t help it that your pussy is so tiny,” he teases you.

“Not my fault your dick is so gigantic,” you bite right back.

“I promise, I'll try my best not to split you in half,” Soobin jokes, which does little to ease your worries, but at the same time only makes you wetter.

“Keep talking to me,” you plead for him.

“Does it hurt?” he wants to know, as he keeps entering you further.

“It’s a good kind of hurt,” you explain, wincing slightly.

Once you’ve gotten used to it, you signal to Soobin that he can start moving and he does just that, fucking into you with an impressive speed. You try to meet him halfway, lifting your hips up for him, melting into one.

“You’re taking it so well, my darling best friend,” Soobin praises you relentlessly.

“Anything for you, Soobie,” you cry out in sweet bliss.

“I’m close,” Soobin confesses soon enough.

“Fill me up,” you beg him, almost in a daze, deeply affected by his overpowering presence.

He doesn’t need to be asked twice and spills his seed inside of you. It feels so good that you cum with him, walls clenching around his enormous dick. Soobin leans down to kiss you, further blurring the lines between friendship and…whatever this is.

Then, he takes his cock out and you realize something far more terrifying than his intimidating size - you are falling in love with your best friend.

Soobin quickly brings a towel and a bottle of water, taking care of you like no one else before. You want to cry, touched by his sweetness and falling even further.

“How do you feel?” Soobin brushes a piece of hair behind your ear.

“I feel…like I'm on another planet,” you confess shakily.

Soobin chuckles, visibly relieved to hear that.

“You’re so cute,” he murmurs, enveloping you in a hug. His large frame towers over you and if it was anyone else, you’d probably feel slightly threatened. But this is Soobin, and even though he just fucked your brains out, you feel completely safe and protected. Safe enough to be honest about how you feel.

“I know I promised not to be weird about it but…I don’t think I can go back to being friends.”

Soobin pales for a moment, scared of losing you.

“Why not?” he blinks, barely restraining his tears.

“I wanna belong to you,” you try to ease his worries by openly saying what your heart and soul desire.

“Oh…But baby, you already do,” Soobin suddenly beams with excitement. “And I belong to you, too.”

“I think you killed me a little,” you laugh. “Killed my pussy with your big cock and ruined me for other men.”

Soobin raises an eyebrow.

“Bold of you to assume that I’d let other men near your pussy. You’re all mine now.”

The End

#txt #soobin #txt smut #txt hard thoughts #txt hard hours #size k!nk #soobin x reader #soobin smut #soobin hard thoughts #soobin hard hours #txt imagines #soobin imagines #writing

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xiakato · 4 months

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YUJIN- Fantasize(M)

Yujin’s pov

There he is again, his perfect face, hair and height. He’s just my type, the way he smiles, he’s just ugh. The thoughts of putting it down on him day and night runs through her mind but she knows she needs to hold back.

“Yujin?” His voice rings throughout her ears, sending shivers down her spine.

“Oh Hi Y/n oppa, h-how are you?” I smile at him as he walks up to me, towering over me, his cologne invading my senses. He smells so good.

“Oh I’m better now that I see you,” He smiles as he takes my hand and kisses the back of it. I blush looking up at him.

“O-oh stop it Y/n you’re making me blush,” I giggle as his thumb glides across my hand softly, “So what brings you here today Y/n?”

“Mom asked me to drop by to give something to Gaeul,” He says as he walks over to her, dropping the bag on her lap.

“You should stay for the performance Y/n,” I say to him hoping he will say yes.

“Sure I have some time I can stay and watch,” He smiles as the staff comes to tell us it’s time to start the performance of our song for the music show so we hurry to the stage and Y/n makes his way to the crowd.

“Yujinnie I have a question for you,” Gaeul says as we walk and get our mics on.

“What’s up?” I ask as I start to sip on some water.

“Do you like my brother?” She asks me, I spit out my water, looking over at her, she stares at me blankly as I nod shyly, she smiles, “I’ll be rooting for you but if you hurt him so help me god.”

“I won’t hurt him, I’ll never dream of it,” I smile at her as we make our way onto the stage, my eyes racing through the crowd looking for him. My eyes land on him, his eyes meeting mine, making my heart skip beat. I look away trying to calm myself down as we get to our places.

Third person POV

Y/n watches on from the crowd, his eyes constantly on Yujin, the way she was on stage drew him in. His eyes travel around her body as she dances, luring him in even more. The song ends and he walks back to the waiting room, they come into the room shortly after and he praises each of them personally till he gets to Yujin and they just stand there staring at each other.

“Just kiss already,” Rei blurts out, making the others burst out laughing, while the two of them blush, not breaking their eye contact. He makes his move giving her a quick peck on her lips, ‘soft’ he thinks to himself as he pulls away and quickly leaves the room, embarrassed of what he just did. Ignoring the squels that can make high school girls jealous, he rushes out of the building, his mind racing with what he just did. Kissing her hand is different from kissing her lips. But they were soft and supple. Hearing footsteps behind him, he looks behind him and it’s Yujin. She smiles when he looks at her and she runs up to him and kisses him.

“I’ll call you later okay?” She says as he just nods as his mind malfunctions. She giggles and runs back inside leaving him as his operating system reboots. He gets in his car trying to calm down his smile. Driving back home, he crashes on the couch staring at the ceiling as she runs through his mind. Hours fly by without him noticing as his phone pings. He checks it, it’s Yujin asking if she can come over.He texts her back quickly and then sets his phone down and waits. Twenty minutes pass, when a knock on his door echoes through the entrance way. He gets up, running to the door, opening it up seeing her in her outfit from the stage. He smiles as he lets in her.

“Last time I was here, it was for a celebration for our debut.”

“It was, I made sure that this place was clean though that time. So sorry for the mess this time, work was hectic this past week so I didn’t really have time to clean.”

“Oh it’s fine, it’s still somewhat clean,” She says as she lays on the couch and stretches, arching her back. He stares at her, his heart beating in his chest.

“How was your schedule today?” He asks her as you get a glass of water to give to her.

“It was great, you being there for the music show today made it so much better,” She looks over at him, accepting the glass of water.

“I’m glad that I could make your day better.”

She smiles and drinks the water, he sits down in one of the chairs leaning back. Her eyes trace up his figure, flashes of him on top of her, deep inside of her going off in her mind. He looks at her, a few strands of his hair falling in front of his eyes. She gulps, staring at him, making up her mind. She stands up walking over to him straddling him. She giggles as his eyes widen at her sudden movement, she moves his hands onto her ass, “You can make it even better though.”

“And how can I do that?” He asks her, as she wraps her arms around his neck as she fake ponders for a moment.

“Be mine Y/n, and only mine.”

“Oka-” He gets cut off as she kisses him, the lust and passion is equal as her hips start to grind against his crotch. He squeezes her ass making her moan into the kiss. She pulls away from the kiss, a string of saliva working as a bridge between her mouth and his. She slides to the ground, getting onto her knees as she makes short work of his belt and trousers, pulling them down just enough to fish his cock out.

She smiles, biting her lip as she starts to stroke it, “Do you know how many times I’ve fantasized about this cock of yours?” He shakes his head no, “So fucking much,” She peppers kisses up and down his shaft, “This big fat cock destroying me,” She takes him into her mouth, her eyes never leaving his as she takes him deeper and deeper into her mouth, pulls him out letting his cock glide against her tongue, “You taste so fucking good.”

“Keep sucking baby,” He mutters out, making her giggle as she keeps stroking his cock spreading her spit.

“I have an even better idea,” she scoots back a little pulling him to his feet, smiling as his cock swings in front of her, “Face fuck me.”

“Are you sure?” He asks, his hands already gripping onto her head, she nods, getting him back into her mouth. He pushes as deep down her throat as she will let him. Her gags fill the room as she rests her hands on his thighs, she keeps looking at him. Well trying to keep looking at him, as she taps his thigh making him pull out.

“Fuck,” She coughs a little, saliva cascading from her mouth, “Again,” She takes him back into her mouth allowing him to use her mouth for his pleasure, she feels her juices running down her leg, soaking up her panties.

“What a needy bitch you are,” He grunts as she gags trying to get him deeper in her throat. She pulls away again coughing, spreading her spit on his cock.

“Fuck yes, only for you Daddy,” The smile that hasn’t left her face since she has got here, “I’m a needy slut for you.”

He pulls Yujin to her feet pushing her to the couch with her ass facing him as he rips her pants, “you’re drenched,” Y/n pulls her panties to the side, setting his eyes on her glistening pussy for the first time, rubbing his tip against her clit, she moans softly and whines.

“Don’t tease me Daddy please just fuck me, use me please Daddy I need it,” She pleads wiggling her ass. Y/n can’t help but to chuckle and smile at the needness of her, slapping her ass and hearing her whimper. He slides into her, she tightens around him, “Fuck yes, give it to me I need all of you daddy,” He slams the rest in making her scream out in pleasure, “FUCK YES!” he starts pounding her into the couch, her ass jiggling as he slams himself in and out of her, “Harder! break me daddy!”

Y/n slams harder and harder into her, pulling her hair, “You’re fucking mine bitch,” He growls as he keeps going with one goal in mind and that’s to break her. Her legs start shaking and her moans echoes through the room.

“I-I-I’m going to c-c-cum,” She cries out as she squirts all over the couch, making a puddle on the floor. He pulls out and she squirts again, her legs shake as she falls over onto the couch trying to catch her breath and waiting for her body to calm down. She peeks over at him, her eyes trained onto his cock now glistening from her juices. Y/n picks her up walking her to the room, dropping her on the bed and spreading her legs wide and pushing them up towards her head, “U-use me,” she tells him even though she knows that he is going to. Pushing himself back into her, Yujin is just as tight as she was before she was stretched out, Y/n rests his forehead onto hers as he fucks her hard making thighs ripple, making her stare into his eyes, “I love you I love you I love you,” She says repeating as she cums again flooding the bed. She feels him cum deep in her, filling her womb, “so warm daddy.”

“Let's get you cleaned up,” Y/n pulls out of her and watches his cum drip out of her, he smiles as he helps her get out of her clothes and gives her some of his to wear and quickly changes the sheets.

“I love you Y/n.”

“I love you Yujin.”

#smut #kpop smut #ive #an yujin #yujin #kpop

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iceunhie · 3 months

Text

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ⊹ unexpected development ! ꒱ ˎˊ˗

summary ⁠☆ you get transported into your favorite otome game’s world as a shitty side character with a raging death flag. you try to prevent your inevitable destruction... but it doesn't go according to plan as much as you'd hope.

notes ☆ of course it's another scaramouche fic except this time it's plot is manhwa inspired

“This trashy game!” you curse, watching the pitch black GAME OVER screen linger in your phone. Happy music plays despite the current cg of your character at the hands of the tyrant character slash love interest Scaramouche. You sigh, tapping on the back button. “I was so close to completing his route… stupid, stupid game, ugh…”

Teyvat’s Seven Stars was a new otome game that you'd tried out for fun, bored out of your mind. The amazing art and soundtrack garnered your interest, not to mention the male leads were totally your type!

It had an array of tropes and spared no expense of flowery scenes and fanservicey excerpts that made you play despite its massive cashgrab feature. Heart fluttering near death scenes! Action packed romantic scenes with the main characters! It was consuming you and you loved it.

Even if the Scaramouche route was testing your patience.

You get that he was the most difficult to conquer out of all of them, but really, one! wrong! move! ….and an immediate gameover. Life sucks when he's your favorite character, and when your favorite character was notoriously known for having a horrid and difficult complete clear route that no one has completed yet, of course you needed to complete it, no matter what!

Damn it, now you've run out of love points to restart another run. Fuck you, system! Stupid trashy money grabbing game! You put down your phone, closing it. An immediate heavy weight settles on your shoulders, making you feel sleepy as you clutch your phone to bed.

Tomorrow… you'll complete his route for sure…

[ TEYVAT’S SEVEN STARS SYSTEM ACTIVATED! RUNNING GAME FILE NOW ]

Ah. You should've known what was coming.

—

[ CHARACTER FILE: [NAME] [LAST NAME] - CROWN PRINCE KUNIKUZUSHI’S BETROTHED! ]

What the fuck.

You think you've lost feeling in your jaw when the glare of the system shines bright, mocking you.

“[Name], you're awake!” You turn to the sound, and you face probably the most beautiful person you've ever seen. No, what the hell. You've seen him before.

Beautiful silky dark hair, glossy electric indigo eyes, a perpetual aura of ethereal lightness…. the game descriptions weren't lying after all. yes, you weren't dreaming. This was Scaramouche, or should you say at this point in time… Kunikuzushi?

He immediately clings to you. Oh. Oh. Well fuck. “I… uh.”

Scara- ahem, Kunikuzushi’s eyes are littered with tears and oh no you're a weak hearted person for your favorite character. “I'm so glad you're okay! I'm sorry, my mother- I mean, I'm so glad you're okay.”

The rest of the moments is a blur when your… fiance? betrothed? fills you in on what happened. Your mind is fuzzy and you can only piece together just a rough summary of what point in the game you're in.

So, you are currently three years early from the main story. Unfortunately, you are not either of the main protagonists Lumine or Aether. No, the system apparently hates you for being a hater and gave you the most egregious role.

A side character. A side character who barely even appears in the story, left to be trampled on by the story's plot. What's more, you're in the timeline wherein the current Kunikuzushi doesn't take the name Scaramouche because his Mother, the lone Queen Raiden Ei left him when he could not pass the Inazuma kingdom’s test to be worthy of the gnosis.

He took the name Scaramouche after being trained by the shady organization known as the Fatui, the main villainous force in the game and usurped his mother. In other words, a blackened tyrant character!

...And you were the betrothed his mother set for him - executed in the future because he didn't want any trace of Ei’s influence. Amazing.

The future Kunikuzushi would be an arrogant, tsundere and soft-for-only-one-person type of character, but now, he was like a gentle, tucked away from the world young prince.

Wait…. wasn’t he also gullible before?! Very cute, but it's no wonder he blackened so quickly with such a naive personality!

You, well, technically, the character [Name] [Last Name] ended up in this situation after they threatened to leave Kunikuzushi because he was far too fragile for their taste. A side character who’d contributed to Scaramouche’s blackening and paid for it with their life. That was who you were.

Okay, now you pity this boy a lot. He already had a traumatic childhood with Ei not giving him enough love and therefore a plethora of issues, and he'd even end up being a crazy tyrant who stopped at nothing to get the main protagonist in his grasp! For your death flag not to happen, you HAD to do something about that.

You had no choice.

To survive this horrendous fate, you came up with a plan. And that would be Plan give-kunikuzushi-all-the-love-in-the-word-before-he-meets-the-protagonist-and-turn-into-a-blackened-dark-tyrant!

Okay, lengthy plan, but to plan ahead is to be smart, so you can take care of the name later.

—

So far so good, this plan of yours. Plan get-kunikuzushi-to-turn-into-a-sparkly-prince character and not his blackened self was going well! (You gave up on thinking of a cool name) Thank god for cliche romance novels.

So far, you've increased your proximity to him, including him to spend time with you, showering him with bouts of affection and care. And so far, it's been paying off. The once secluded Prince has become so cute and so sweet!

You have to pat yourself on the back for this. You were doing the protagonist a huge favor that now they had a wonderful love interest in their sights for future reference.

Although, if there was one nitpick you had on your conduct, it would be the fact that Kunikuzushi didn't take kindly to others aside from you, and would even be panicked, utterly devastated if you even brought up the mere mention of leaving.

“Break… our engagement in the future?” if it weren't for him looking shell-shocked and deathly pale, the furrow on Kunikuzushi’s face would've been cute. “No! I don't want that! You aren't planning to leave me, are you?”

He gives you the most horrendous god kneeling look of a plea, and of course you drop the subject immediately.

“It was a joke, of course. I'd never want to break our engagement!” you hurriedly reassure, gently taking his hands in yours.

Kunikuzushi looks at you, all puppy eyes and pink cheeks. So cute. Who wouldn't want to stay by his side? You reassure him, “Whatever happens, I'll always stay by your side, okay?”

He looks at your intertwined hands with an unreadable expression on his face. “Do you promise?”

You nod. “I promise, Kuni.”

He nods, gripping your hands tighter, and his expression rivals a blazing sun, brimming with conviction as he pulls you in for a huge hug.

And of course, who wouldn't turn down an opportunity to hug their favorite character?

Surely this time, you’ll definitely escape the death flag and horrendous side character ending, right?!

You don't notice the shadow on Kuni’s face when the mere mention of being separated from you comes up.

In the back of your mind, you wonder what would happen if your Kunikuzushi met the protagonist. Would he immediately fall for them? you wonder, and an uncharacteristic pang of discomfort tugs at your chest. Ah, what would it matter.

You smile at the gentle, pristine and kind Kunikuzushi that's currently excitedly telling you about how Ei praised his sword skills after he beat his younger sister. Even if the main protagonist would come here, you could keep this adorable Kunikuzushi for yourself for just a little longer.

You kiss his cheek, and he heats up. Yes, the future can wait for now.

How the hell did it come to this?

“You told me you'd always stay by my side, right?” a hand slicked with blood is resting on the side of your face. Electric indigo eyes, these ones now having a ruthless glint to them, stare up at your own. “I've removed everything else that can take you away from me. Now, you have no reason to leave.”

By remove, he meant the man who'd decided to make a move on you after you went to the gardens for some fresh air. Hence the blood on his hands and sword, hence the reason why there's a dead body by your feet.

The once adorable and fair-faced Kunikuzushi still turned into Scaramouche after all, and you failed to prevent his blackening. He was truly, undoubtedly the same game Scaramouche.

But… Why was he acting like this? Wasn't this the exclusive feature only the protagonist should be experiencing?

He presses a kiss to your forehead, then the back of your palm. You blush.

Yes, he is now an extremely dangerous individual capable of executing anyone he deems appropriate to just for the sake of it, and yes, this same man is kneeling before you as you're just about to leave after the main storyline cg act just started. And yes, like the protagonist, you should stay far, far away from him.

But could you really? When he was pleading you with such an expression of longing and yearning? He takes your hand to caress it to the side of his face, eyes haughty and grin unsettling, gosh was he so… so attractive, like that.

“You won't leave, right?” Why was he so…. so sweet? Why was this scene structured as if you were the one he wanted to be with, not the protagonist? “You promised me, after all.”

….And why on earth did your heart leap out of your chest when he said he wanted you to stay?

(It was hard to pretend you didn't know why when the smile on your face said otherwise.)

1.5k words, only the real ones know that ive been planning a cliche otome game au since day 1 I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENED TO ME WHEN I WAS WRITING THIS FIC 😭 might turn this into a series if people like this though <3

@ MHIIEEE : do not repost, copy or plagiarize or claim my content or work as your own.

#genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #scaramouche genshin impact #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche x you #kunikuzushi x reader #kunikuzushi x you #scaramouche drabble #kunikuzushi fluff #mhie's spirals #teyvat's seven stars ☆

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