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#needed to take a break myself!
pidgydraws · 7 months ago
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🍓 don’t forget to take breaks! (and to drink tasty smoothies!) 🍓
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anathemafiction · a month ago
I just wanted to pop in and say I’m so proud that you were so focused and intent on finishing everything and got it all done! Please take time to take care of yourself and relax because you absolutely deserve it!! ❤️
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Thank you so much!!! And thank you, also, everyone who left a comment on the submission post. I can't tag you all individually, but I appreciate it so much, plus all the tags on the reblogs!!!
It's just so humbling and amazing how so many people seem as excited for this book as I am! It means the whole world, so thank you again, and I'm sorry for being so repetitive, but there are no other words in this language that can even begin to translate what I'm feeling. Thus a simple and inefficient thank you has to suffice.
I have learned a lot in these last few months. A lot. I can tell you that I'll be doing things very differently for book 2. But, I suppose, that's the only way to really learn: you do, and you make errors, and you're forced to learn from them.
I know that the last stages before submitting the game have been bumpy at best, and it seemed that I was dragging and dragging and finding new issues every step of the way. I did the beta testing way too early and presented what I now considered not only an incomplete game but also an unpolished, almost first-draft mess to a lovely bunch of people who volunteered to help me.
I kept the game for myself for too long and thus skipped over problems that should have been blatantly obvious. I also ignored coding issues for way longer than I should have - because I was scared of them.
All in all, writing is fun. It's what I like to do, but it turns out that making an interactive novel takes way more than just putting a pencil to paper and letting your imagination run to where it wants. Sometimes, you need to rein it in, control it, shape it, change it, delete it, expand it, and then prance it around a group of strangers that will analyze it with fresh eyes and new thoughts, and it's scary, but oh so very necessary.
I've also learned, and I know how crazy this seems, but I learned the value of a proper outline. I'm a very spontaneous kind of writer, things usually just come to me, and I go along with them. Most of my stories start with an image, like the ocean foam on the side of a small fishing boat, or a smell, like freshly cut grass on a field littered with scarecrows, or a dialogue, like a mother saying goodbye to her mother through a gold-encrusted mirror. The Rose started with an image too, and I went along with it.
But a novel, and a series especially, needs more than that. I know the main plot by heart, and I know where I want to go, but the in-between I like to keep vague. Vague is good, but it can't be so foggy that it hides what's three steps ahead of me. So, for Book 2, I'll do what I never did: I'll make an outline of the entire book before starting to write it. Revolutionary, I know. 😄
I'm sure I'll change and add a lot of things as I'm writing, but I have the outline in my head - except a few parts - and I can already tell that is going to help a lot. It will probably mean I'll write faster too.
I also want to have a group of testers that I send the chapters as I write them so that I can immediately get essential feedback. Additionally, I'll edit the chapters as I'm writing- not leave everything for last! Because god, this editing phase almost killed me, and I have an inkling that Book 2 will be even bigger than Book 1. I know exactly where I want to stop, and I don't care how many words it'll take me to get there, I'll reach that point.
Oof, this post is way too big already. I'm sorry for going on a tangent! All this to say: It has been a long journey, but I've enjoyed it very much. I know there hasn't been any new content for months, and I even shortened the demo significantly - it stops at the point where the free trial will end in the published game. To be honest, it's hard to believe people are not only following this blog, but I'm gaining new followers as well - I feel like it's underserved, but I am very grateful.
I can't wait for you all to read the game!! And I can only hope you'll stick around for the rest of the journey. ♡
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victorthecollector · 3 months ago
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Rymin 💖💖💖
#rymin#min gi park#ryan akagi#infinity train#infinity train fanart#why did I decide to do something so complicated as my first digital painting on this pa noting style I hate myself this was so hard I want#I want to cry#I loved sketching this but now I can’t bear to look at it anymore I feel like it’s gonna eat me or something#why do I need to be an overachiever why can’t I just be nice to myself and draw something that doesn’t make me want to scream huh?#why can’t I just draw squiggles and say ‘’yeah that’s good victor you’re really cool victor :)’’#like boy please take a break youre runing on a body thats been tortured for like two years straight from school related stress please chill#ok I’m probably being overly dramatic but I’m a lil sleep deprived rn so I’ll just... post this and sleep hopefully#anyway I love them don’t let my experience with this spdrawing fool you I chose them for a reason#if there’s a ship that can make me try out tha style of digital painting even tho I’m a perfectionist and this is based on like. not being#very polished that’s rymin baby they’d take me to hell and back and I’d gladly tag along#ok I was gonna rant some more but I gotta stop dude finish the and take a bath#well more like shower this house is :/#digital art#digital painting#ship art#fuck I really have to stop looking at this I’m noticing mistakes and it’s making me want to cry#shut up about the unrendered parts shut up about the unrendered parts shit up about the unrendered parts shut up about the unrendered parts#fanart#my art#changed the caption cause the other one was kinda depressing
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giggles-and-freckles · 3 months ago
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started my summer project over on ao3! & i'm really excited about it!!!!! (maybe more excited for this than anything i've written in the past few months!) finally finally doing my ‘ahsoka as obi-wan’s padawan au’ fic that i simply cannot shut up about!
so check out soften every edge for some angsty fun. (happy ending guaranteed.)
“Peace,” Obi-Wan hisses. “I am to find peace. In the abrupt…” He breaks off and gasps, a hollow, rasping sound. His knees seem to shatter as they hit the marble floor beneath him. The reality rushes up in him, choking off breath. A scream comes, tearing it’s way out. “My padawan,” he sobs, fisting the sleeves of his robe until he thinks his fingers might splinter into pieces. He wishes they would. Anakin, he thinks, over and over, until there is nothing left and he wonders if his name has ever been ‘Obi-Wan’ at all.
The chamber is silent. The Force is silent.
But Obi-Wan will go to war with it later.
continue reading on ao3
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worstloki · 6 months ago
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local knife boy is criticized for using a small knife. retaliates with small knife. 
#i still can't believe that itty bitty dagger is considered an attempt at Thor's life#''loki tried to murder thor in avengers 1'' yeah yeah ok so thor also tried to murder him with a hammer to the chest twice now what about it#the closest loki came to murdering thor was in thor 1 when thor was trying to break the bridge honestly#this tiny knife is nothing#if you're accusing loki of attempted murder at least do it right#gosh it's like i've got to do everything myself around here#if you want to pick on loki for being cruel and apathetic to thor's pain you're going to have to go with that time he kicked thor's face#that's basically the only time he isn't crying when he's forced to hurt thor#you could also argue for the illusion of cutting thor's arm depending on how much you assume was planned of the little act#no more ''loki is a fascist who tried to rule earth'' when you can go with ''loki became king and didn't get rid of the monarchy''#seriously#I think focusing on the arts and toning down the racism was the right direction to take things and then slowly phase out the totalitarianism#but hearing ''genocide'' as the only thing against him is getting boring#yeah he attempted genocide in the middle of an identity breakdown while trying to prove he deserved to live to his wacko abusive father#what about it#thor tried that too for fun because he wanted to after being explicitly told not to by both odin and loki and even his friends#i need to compile a list of things thor has done that are :// at this point#at least loki has reasons dagnabbit#thor is just there being mean and apathetic and attempting manipulation for funsies#he's threatened to kill loki and everything#when has loki done that? hm?#loki hasn't even blamed him for things he wasn't a part of#he stabbed thor with this 2 inch knife in avengers 1 and everyone is like 'OooooOOohhh he's so evil!! he tried to kill thor!!'#like bro i respect your thoughts here but wacking thor with a 2 inch d*ldo would do more damage to thor than the knife did#not physical damage maybe but more#more than stabbing the knife a fingernail length in
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skiduffle · a month ago
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Alright so I got very bored so I am attempting to create another writing tool for anyone hoping to write for the bnha oc comeback.
This will go into detail explaining each of the students, and teachers' quirk types, and how each characters' physical form is effected by it.
If any of the original creator's of the characters find any details that need to be corrected please let me know.
Now without further adieu, the writings will be under the read more:
Quirk Types
There are three types of Quirks according to the My Hero Academia wiki, along with one known sub-type. I will be paraphrasing the explanations from the wiki, so if you are interested the full descriptions can be found here.
First there is the Emitter type. The Emitter type allows the user to control "emissions". These emissions are basically external elements that the quirk user can control, whether these elements are external or are created by the quirk user. Where the emissions come from is different depending on the quirk.
Second there is the Transformation type. The Transformation type is a type of quirk can alter the quirk users different features, sometimes enhancing features, sometimes removing or adding features. Transformation type quirks require a lot of concentration to stay active. It is also important to note that transformation types can only effect the user, and no external forces.
Third there is the Mutant type. The Mutant type is one of the few types that could have been awakened since the birth of the quirk user. How Mutant types work is that they give the user a more complex abilities. It is also the most common quirk type to be passed down due to it being caused by a change in genetics. The best example that I can use here is how Tokoyami has a bird like head, but it does not inherently effect how his quirk, Dark Shadow, works. Mutant types also can not be "turned off" or stopped in any way, being forced to always be active.
Then lastly, there is the only known sub-type as of writing this, the Accumulation type. I'm going to use the wiki definition for this type because it is short and simple, so I thought it fit well. "Accumulation-type Quirks are powers that, in order to function properly, require the user accumulate something ahead of time, such as power, energy, mass, or a particular resource. Some such Quirks are One For All, Stress, Rewind, Fa Jin, and Fat Absorption." Nobody in either class seems to have this quirk type, but it is important to bring up since it is one of the more impactful types in the show, since One for All falls into this category.
I will be using colored text to help show what each student and teacher's quirk type, but I will not be coloring the text for quirk types that do not corelate with the characters.
Class 1-X
Osamu Sato (@dantelionwishes)
First off we have Osamu Sato, Class 1-X's homeroom teacher. Sato has an Emitter type, because he is able to create the emission out of his own saliva that can work as a stimulant. But because of issues from Sato's past, he chooses to act as if he is quirkless.
Moa Fuwa (@you-may-call-me-meme)
Moa Fuwa has two quirks, one being her main quirk Pressure Control. According to Moa's bio, Pressure Control, which she inherited from her father, which allows her to move objects over a certain distance , solidify objects, and even strengthen an object's gravitational pull. This quirk can be classified as an Emitter since it does not rely on the user needing to be transformed or on any physical mutations. Next is the quirk that she inherited from her mother, giving her traits that would resemble a sheep. This quirk would be classified as a Mutant due to it inherently being a part of her physical appearance.
Hibiki Manami (@3080-manami-hibiki)
Hibiki's quirk is quite clearly a Mutant type due to it appearing to never be able to turn off, and significantly changing her physical appearance.
Burai Banzai (@buraibanzai)
Burai is actually almost threw me off, so I'm glad I've been reading over the character bios, but Burai actually has a Transformation type quirk. This is because Burai's quirk allows him to transfrom some of his cells into electricity, making it a Transformation type.
Amorette Calhoun (@napstennoji)
Amorette is another tough case, but I think she would be an Emitter type. This is because she is able to control an outside force, being able to increase her opponents dopamine or norepinephrine.
Akihiko Arakan (@captainbaeremy)
Okay, so it is common knowledge that Akihiko does not have a quirk, but I did want to point out that he is still very competent, being able to make it into the Hero Course and passing the practical exam, which for those unfamiliar consists of the possible hero course students of having to beat robots and gain points for the different robots they destroy. So even though Akihiko is quirkless, I would argue he is probably one of the strongest students between classes 1-X and 1-Y combined.
Michiko Watanabe (@residentquirksupport)
Michiko's quirk is an Emitter type, because it is an emission that boosts the quirks of others. Michiko also has a small Mutant being the suits under her eye that would change under her eye depending on how she is feeling.
Makoto Shiba (@dantelionwishes)
Makoto is a bit hard to place because of how it inherently works. I think it is safe to assume that it is not an Emitter type. It is hard to tell if Makoto is primarily a Transformation type or a Mutant type. Makoto is most certainly at least a Mutant type due to her... virtual appearance? I would also argue that their quirk can work as a Transformation type because she is able to transform to get into whatever piece of electronics she would need to get into.
Jiro Yukimura (@zer0-10)
Jiro is very simple to identify, being an Emitter type, due to being able to make the emissions of his slime from his mouth.
Taishiro Watanabe (@angrymemesandicecreams)
Taishiro is also pretty easy to identify, with him being primarily an Emitter type, due to his control over the way time effects someone. Taishiro also has a small Mutant type quirk, being his eyes. I'm not gonna count the black gradient on Taishiro's arms and legs as a part of the mutation, since it seems that it is more connected to the Emitter part of his quirk.
Jetsam Kisa (@jetsam-kisa)
Jetsam is an Emitter type, with the emission being the pollutants from his mouth. Jetsam also has a small Mutant type quirk being the purple pigment to his skin, but I am not 100% sure if this is a side effect from the Emitter part of his quirk or not.
Edit: Thanks to jetsam-kisa for telling me some of the details about Jetsam's Mutant type quirk. How it works is that Jetsam's eyes are able to see shapes in the fog, helping him get through it. Jetsam's mutation is also visually noticeable through the eyes, with Jetsam having a black sclera and an off-white iris and pupil.
Tsutsumi Natsumi (@glitchviper)
Tsutsumi is probably one of the most clear-cut answers. Tsutsumi is a Transformation type, having the whole concept be that she transforms to a form where she is a lot faster and stronger.
Edit: Thanks to glitchviper for pointing this out to me, but Tsutsumi actually also has a Mutant type quirk that overlaps with her Transformation type quirk. Tsutsumi's Mutant type quirk is visible in her "regular form", the mutation being her horns and her yellow eyes. Tsutsumi also has the ability to move through shadows. When Tsutsumi transforms her mutation becomes more prominent, and enhancing her abilities allowing her to manipulate shadows.
Aito Takao (@korissideblog)
Aito is another student that has two quirks because he had inherited both of her parents quirks, and they did not overlap with each other of fuse together, becoming two separate quirks for Aito. Aito's charm is an Emitter type due to it not impacting his physical appearance, and not requiring Aito to transform in order to activate. Aito also has a Mutant type quirk that she inherited from his mother, being her demon like horns and tail.
Edit: I mixed up the specific inheritance details so I fixed that.
Rin Tsukikage (@kamiart)
Rin is an Emitter type, because she absorbs energy from moonlight and uses it as she sees fit.
Edit: Thanks to the-heartbeat-hero for pointing out that Rin would also likely be an Accumulative type since she needs to accumulate the moonlight (which I also briefly brought up in the original version of the bio) in order to use it with her quirk.
Hiroharu Aki (@compoundhero)
Hiroharu is also a little tough to say, but I think his quirk would be identified as a Transformation type. The quirk type is a little hard to identify since Hiroharu does transform, but it could also be argued that the quirk uses emissions. But sense, from my general knowledge, Hiroharu would transform himself, I think it fits more as a Transformation type and not a Emitter type
Kiku Miyagawa (@cryptidanaphafsi)
Kiku's original lore page actually gives a lot of helpful details, making the designation of Kiku's quirk type to be very easy. Kiku's primary quirk, Grim Voice, is an Emitter type. Next is Kiku's smaller Mutant type being her grey skin, white hair, and piercing eyes.
Sumiye Gemu (@smol-hibiscus)
Sumiye is in a weird grey area when it comes to what her quirk type is. This is because she seems to have an Emitter type because she can transport items from games, but she also seems to be a Transformation type because her whole appearance changes each time she goes into a game, so it's hard to give a specific label to her quirk.
Tamashi Yoken (@eldritch-whispers)
Tamashi has an Emitter type quirk because she is able to use his quirk to read other people's emotions, and use their quirk in a way that could effect other's emotions.
Ayume Hikkido (@onibony)
Ayume has an Emitter type quirk, allowing her to convert glucose and blood sugar into special physical candies that can work as barriers or traps.
Edit: Thanks to the-heartbeat-hero for pointing out that Ayume would be an Accumulative type because she would need to accumulate the glucose in order to properly use it to create the barriers and traps.
Carlos Cordova (@pokeracer93)
Carlos has a Mutant type quirk, due to how he has permanent robot features and abilities, that he can not turn off due to how Mutant types commonly effect Mutant type quirk users..
Jimin Kim (@art-is-drawing)
Jimin's quirk type is actually listed in their bio, being a Mutant type quirk, which is shown by Jimin having a lizard-like appearance and abilities.
Class 1-Y
Pro Hero Miss Me (@dantelionwishes)
Ok this is going to need some explaining, but Miss Me is most certainly a Mutant type. I had to do a little bit of research, looking through Miss Me related posts to see how exactly her quirk works, and I think I have a good idea. But from information I learned here, it seems like Miss Me's quirk is actually just a mutation of the average persons instincts and reactions over injuries, allowing her to move fast enough to avoid any injuries that physically attack her.
Boni Mizumi (@flowersinorbs)
Boni is another character with two quirks. First is her primary quirk is an Emitter type, allowing her to create special orbs that can have a large variety of effects. Then is a small Mutant quirk that gives her some demon like features like small horns and a tail.
Momo Neko (@lintulady)
Momo has a small Mutant type quirk that gives her cat ears and a tail, as well as having a Transformation type Quirk that allows her to transform into a cat.
Mao Amai (@greyciees)
Mao has an Emitter type quirk that allows her to change the chemical composition of objects with her saliva.
Konekomaru Yoshino (@you-may-call-me-meme)
Konekomaru has a Mutant type quirk giving him the physical features and abilities of a cat.
Evan Satoru (@no1-horror-hero)
Evan has a Transformation type quirk, allowing him to transform his body into different eldritch-like ways.
Mitsumi Togan (@shinindiamond)
Mitsumi seems to have primarily a Transformation type quirk because of how she is able to transform her skin into a diamond-like substance, but she also appears to have a small Mutant Quirk causing her hair to constantly be made of this substance as well.
Ikuto Maekawa (@the-heartbeat-hero)
Edit: the-heartbeat-hero had brought up some details about Ikuto's quirk that I felt the need to redo his description, and since the-heartbeat-hero is still working out some of the details, I will likely edit this to be more accurate once the details are all set-in-stone. Ikuto has an Emitter type quirk that allows him to slowdown the heartbeat of others, but not himself.
Tokiya Iori (@skiduffle)
Tokiya has an Emitter type quirk due to how they are able to control how he and others are effected by the passage of time.
Yori Hayashi (@beetroot-bot)
Yori has an Emitter type quirk because she is able to transfer their injuries to others as well as transfer other's injuries to herself.
Edit: Alright thanks to beetroot-bot for pointing this out, but Yori stockpiles injuries, so that would make her an Accumulative type.
Kabane Higanbana (@imminent-soup)
Kabane has a Mutant type quirk because of the nature of his physical form being that of a zombie at all times.
Hina Mumei (@plutoeater)
Hina primarily has a Mutant type quirk that gives her physical features that resembles a moth, and an Emitter type that allows her to create a special dust from her wings that can cause dizziness, vomiting, hives, or even just a stuffy nose.
Kiyoko Hagane (@cosmic-goof)
Kiyoko is a Transformation type quirk, allowing her to transform parts of her body using metal she has consumed.
Jaye Rokuto (@zer0-10)
Ok, Jaye is probably the hardest to identify what his quirk type would be. I think the best fit for Jaye is an Emitter type, because although he does in a way "transform" by creating different clones, but because splitting apart while holding objects, living or not, also causes the duplication of those objects, by definition making it not a Transformation type.
Kurumi Yamashita (@nightseeye)
Kurumi is another character with two quirks that do not interact with each other. First is Kurumi's Emitter type quirk, allowing them to control and grow a variety of plants. Second is Kurumi's Mutant type quirk, giving them the look of a skeleton..
Doku Heiwa (@dokuheiwa)
Doku has an Emitter type quirk, which allows her to create poisonous gas and acidic saliva.
Tano Hoshizawa (@zedthebuggy)
Tano has an Emitter type quirk allowing him to create clouds of sparks in the air.
Naga Murasaki (@murasaki-naga)
Naga has a Mutant type quirk, making it so she can can stick to surfaces when activated and stretch parts of her body.
Murasaki Nendo (@genuinefauxthought)
Murasaki has a Mutant type quirk that causes her body to be consistently changing when experiencing pressure.
Hikari Kamino (@dantelionwishes)
Hikari has a Transformation type quirk, which activates when she "dies" changing into what I have been referring to as her Phoenix form, gaining the ability to create fire on her own.
Tsuki Hashimoto (@art-gally)
Tsuki has an Emitter type quirk along with a Mutant type quirk. Tsuki's Mutant type has it so her arms are separated from her body, being able to hover on their own, and these arms, along with her legs, are able to create the emission of strong blasts, like a rocket launcher.
Number of Each Quirk Type
Class 1-X
Emitter: 13
Transformation: 5
Mutant: 11
Accumulative: 2
Class 1-Y
Emitter: 11
Transformation: 5
Mutant: 10
Accumulative: 0
Both Class 1-X and Class 1-Y
Emitter: 24
Transformation: 10
Mutant: 21
Accumulative: 0
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adhd-vibes · 8 months ago
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i know i should watch the news, but sometimes i don’t think i can do it anymore. it’s just...exhausting. everyday i cry over something i watched in the news (and i didn’t even cry while watching Titanic). and yet i know i need to be an informed fucking citizen. it’s my duty to know what’s going on. but dear Lord. the good news feels so insignificant compared to the bad news. every news station is like “hey the world is actively on fire, but up next! watch as this puppy wears a hat!” and no offense to the puppy, but that simply does not outweigh the other 99% of the news coverage i just watched. i’ve always been an optimist, but there simply isn’t any water in the glass anymore. 
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skateboardtotheheart · 14 days ago
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also one last thing:
this is a FICTIONAL SHOW. it's a piece of FICTION. none of these characters are REAL.
i get that it's super meaningful to our lives but it literally has no actual consequence on our lives if we disagree or develop certain opinions/attachments to certain characters.
literally what is there to get into discourse over. it's a show.
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upperrankthree · 2 months ago
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HI BESTIES!!! guess who is back!!! Did you miss me 🥺🥺🥺 I missed you 🥺💙
I'm feeling a bit better now!! That was a rough time tbh. It wasn't my first bad mental health episode and it won't be my last. Sadly I am very much ill but I always try my absolute best to get through it!!! Some days (or even weeks) are harder than others but I'm still alive so that's something 💙
Tysm for your kind words and understanding!! And Tysm to those who sent me a little message to check up on me!! My head feels less clouded now so I just wanted to say hey!!! I hope you've all been well 💖💖💖
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glitched-ships · 2 months ago
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Okay, since its international kiss day, i decided to do this again! (Cause im too anxious to go to ppls inboxes for some reason ^^")
Mutuals, reblog this with a pic of your f/o and your s/i and I'll draw them kissing! (Can be any type of kiss (and any type of f/o!), you can specify which one you want for it, or what youre def uncomfy with! I dont wanna make anyone uncomfy ofc!!)
Rules are: only 1 drawing per person, mutuals only(!)
Also disclaimer: these drawings will be sketches only, i wont be able to color them nor grey shade them, sorry!
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greentrickster · 4 months ago
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You want to know something wild? If it paid a proper, living wage and didn’t come with a ridiculous 12-hour workday and possibly swing-shift, and had proper breaks, my ideal job would probably be some sort of factory work. Swear to anything you care to name, I did a stint in a factory my dad used to work for one summer and I loved it. The people who were my bosses were friendly and polite, I liked the semi-mindless nature of the work and also that it gave me some decent physical exertion, and my creativity went through the roof that summer! I had to wear hearing and eye protection, a safety helmet, protective gloves, and a high-visibility vest, that was the kind of job it was, and I still enjoyed it so much! I was really sad when the summer was over and I had to leave it. I actually tried to get re-hired as a full-time worker (the program I’d been in was legit just a summer thing for employee’s kids), and I made it through the preliminary application, but then they had us do one of those computer survey/test things that everyone on this site knows are bad and I didn’t make it past that stage. Even though people already working for the company knew me and, if they’d been asked, would have been able to confirm I was a hard worker who would be a good hire. -_-*
Basically, what I’m saying is, there are people out there, people like me, who would actually very much love to be doing factory work. I even liked working the cash register for retail work when I first started doing it - it wasn’t the baseline job that made me quit, it was the pay, the way the customers treated me, and the way upper management treated me (I only had problems with one of our floor managers, and even our store manager was a pretty goof egg, I’m talking corporate). There are people like me who genuinely want to do those ‘low grade’ jobs. It’s not the baseline service that bad, there’s nothing inherently bad about working a cash register or semi-mindless factory work, those jobs only become bad when the pay and treatment you receive for doing them are bad.
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helloamhere · 4 months ago
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I have had this weariness of spirit for a while (due to many things, many many personal life things, as so many are experiencing world over I am sure), but it's been manifesting with fic and thinking about all the ideas I have that I haven't written, and the frustration of sitting down and thinking "oh I'll just jam out a quick fic" and then not being able to. And like, I know this is ridiculous, but it's interesting to go through too because I have SUCH an expectation of productivity for myself and even here, in this free hobby that I do for no other reason than I think it is nice and fun and lovely to share things with other people in community and all of us try to make ourselves feel a little better -- even here the "must be productive" monster comes to get me!
I really had to go look at my dashboard and remind myself that I've posted ****24***** fics and 700k words!!!! LIKE!!! That is a lot!!!!! OK!!!!
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rainbowsans · 10 months ago
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it feels weird falling asleep at a normal time and waking up early in the morning like....how do you all do this....?
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aeonilua · 3 months ago
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I’m sorry for another vent artwork but this is kind of important.
Ever since the pandemic started and online learning came into place I wasn’t doing my very best, especially with the time I had to draw. Depression and anxiety was clinging onto me but I somehow managed to hide it well. Especially when I first came here. When I got to tumblr and insta, my mental health wasn’t as bad as it was (either that or I was good at hiding how damaged it was). Things were fine from there until I had to return to the school building. There was a lot more pressure (especially peer pressure from ‘friends’ and people), more assignments all at once, more frustrations and less free time to draw or do something else with my own time. What’s worse about it is that it means more breakdowns, panic/anxiety attacks, overwhelming sadness, sleep deprivation and to have things escalated, because I’ve felt like I’ve learned nothing all year, I’m now heading to summer school for all of June. That’s when things get bad. Thoughts of self-harm begin to plague my head but instead of cutting myself with a blade, scratching my skin was the only thing considering I have sharp nails. But I never went to far since I am scared to die yet these thoughts would never leave and doesn’t help when you have parents that view mental health as a bad thing, like they don’t have it which makes me even more worse. It wasn’t until now when I noticed that I’ve changed. My personality has changed, my thoughts have changed, my own well being has changed because I’m no longer good at hiding what I’ve been feeling for months and I don’t like it.
I want to be happy, I want feel happy, I want to believe in it. That things will get better. So I think that... a break from posting would help BUT I will appear every now and then just not as often as usual. There’s gonna be a delay for the artworks I have planned to make for the Gods reborn au for the rest of June but I could leave little hints for those who are still interested in it. I plan to return on the end of June or maybe sooner, who knows? I’ll probably feel a lot better sooner than I thought. I hope you all can understand and have patience with me because this does not mean I’m giving up on drawing or on you guys. I’ll be back at some point when I feel like me again.
Take care, I love you all (♡´❍`♡)*✧ ✰ 。*
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