#neeliamlee
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Hey stay safe okay?
Hey stay safe okay? As I’m worrying about my own well being, I’m also worrying about everyone else, especially my parents since they’re so old.
You will always come to mind, I don’t even know if you’re doing well over there but everything has been pretty hectic lately. Pretty crazy how things are going, I would never expect we would be in a pandemic in our lifetime. I just want to say let’s get through this safely. I’d love to see everyone safe by the end of this crisis. Please take care of yourself. There’s so many ways how the media pumps negative information into our minds. Like where are the articles about good news, the recoveries?? I feel brainwashed, every night my anxiety spiking and I can’t even sleep because I’m worried I’ll catch a case of the virus. On top of that my work is essential because we’re military related, so having the idea of social distancing/isolation and having to go to work really triggers me. I go to work scared of touching anything unless I disinfect the area. And when I get home I’m afraid that I’m carrying the virus and passing it to my parents. I really don’t know what to do, I guess I can say only time will tell. As of right we just have to do our part to stay as clean as possible. Please take care, I worry about you. Whatever you do, makes sure it’s something that will brighten your day, even for a moment. We need more happiness in this world. Feels like a prison now, no matter how free you are, even going to buy groceries is pretty scary now, I don’t even want to touch anything.
Sorry I have a lot say, rambling about random things. I’m just typing as I go. I’m just concerned for your well being, physically and especially your mentally. You don’t want to turn into me, having all of these anxiety problems, it feels like PTSD and I don’t even know what PTSD feels like, but I get triggered easily when I have to do things that requires my hands. I always have hand sanitizer now, dry AF hands.
Anyways moral of the story: stay safe, try to enjoy things even when times are bad because your happiness is a must. Oh I forgot to mention, be cautious with potential racism in the future. I want to see not just you but everyone to pull this pandemic through and maybe one day in the future we can all talk about how scared I was when it was going around. I still care and I’m worried sick about you. Be safe Aileen.
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Let me love who I want to love even if they don’t love me back.
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Why
Why are you always on my mind?
Why do I always worry about you?
Why do I always want to know how you’re doing?
Why when every time you’re sad, I always wanted to ask you if you’re okay? (Usually by text.)
Why do I care so much about you?
Why when I wake up the first thing that comes up in my mind is you?
Why is everything I see remind me of you?
Why do I miss you so much?
Why do I miss your voice?
Why do I miss those old times where we actually got along? (Was I ever bad to you?)
Why?
Why do I love you so much?
And why... why can’t you get out of my mind.
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September 4th, 2020
Happy birthday!
2020 vision optometrist!! Okay stupid pun.. Happy 24th birthday. It’s your zodiac year too. Damn guess everything ties together.
#n061291#nice#girl#cute#you#neeliamlee#neelialee#neelia#happy birthday#september 4th#9496#942020#9/4/2020#september
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T minus 1 day.
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January 8th, 2020
I don’t know how to put this into words. I don’t want to say I’m suicidal but I really want to die. There are reasons why I must stay alive that’s why I’m still living.
Okay one more tag. Because I probably need help this time and I hope you see it.
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September 4th, 2019
Happy birthday!!
#n061291#girl#cute#you#neeliamlee#neelia#neelialee#september 4th#9/4/2019#september#happy birthday#9496#hapy birthday
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I miss you.
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September 4th, 2017
Happy 21st Birthday, Aileen.
#neelia#n061291#9496#September 4#sept 4#September 4th#sept 4th#neelia lee#neeliamlee#you#2017#21st birthday#Jameson#September#September 2017#Sept 2017#happy birthday
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February 8th, 2017
Although I only knew you as a friend and yes we hung out a lot back then, I feel closer to you and you became a necessity for me. I feel happy when you’re around. You became my world. Everything I do.. everything I see.. reminds me of you. I became clingy and I always wanted to be around you. But now we both have our own paths, I can only be just a part of your life. I do miss those times. Going to the movies. Playing video games. Going out for lunch and dinners. I love listening to you talk. I love your voice, I can still remember how it sounds like. You’re always the happy one. Your smile brings the most out of you. It even made me happy seeing you happy.
I hope you’re doing well. I really do miss you. I hope that one day we’ll meet again and that I’ll be able to see that smile on your face again. We can go out for breakfast. Perhaps out for coffee.
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"Phia sau mot co gai"
Song on repeat. Idk heard it from this girl covering it and now I'm hooked. All of these love or break up Vietnamese songs are really getting to me. It fucking sucks. I miss talking to you. I miss doing random stuff with you. The stupid things like play games or go eat. Like shit I'm always down. Whatever you want, whatever you asked I always fucking do it. Now I can't even get close to you. And then your sister be cock blocking too because she wants me to forget about you. I can't, that's impossible you'll never leave my mind. You're like fucking nicotine. You're a fucking drug. You're my fucking drug, my fucking crack. It's killing me because I can't get ahold of my drug. It's bringing me down so much, sometimes I wish I can die. Like fuck you're one of a kind and I must have you. This addiction is making me crazy. I'm too obsessed. God.. How am I going to find another you? Never. Im so sad. I'm never gonna see you again.
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Congrats A too.. 2018
Yeah.
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Even my dreams has lived up to my real world. My vision of you and feelings in my dreams are the same thing as if it was real life.
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12/27/15
So today, probably the day you won't talk to me unless there's something exciting coming up. See you next year! Maybe in September. Idk. I'm tired.
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