#neglectful parents

[nmolesofadrenaline]

#web weaving #web weave #abuse survivor #toxic family #emotional abuse #dysfunctional family #toxic parents #toxic mom #parental abuse #narcissistic parents #parental issues #neglectful parents #parenting #parental trauma #bad parenting #familyissues #on fathers #fathers

[bpdbecca]

#trauma #sadgirl #feelings #child neglect #neglectful parents

[furiousgoldfish]

I was reading a book named "Better late than early", which is about evidence showing that it's beneficial for children to be sent to school (including preschool) at the age of 8, rather than 5, 6 or 7. The premise is that the kids don't yet develop enough security, confidence and thinking skills to cope with a competitive and overstimulating learning environment.

In that book, they're answering the questions of 'what is best for the kids then, how should one approach raising a child so the child does well later on', and the answer that is that the child is to be engaged with, with warmth, curiosity, encouragement, care. They even explain that you don't have to be incredibly educated or efficient in child-raising, as long as you show kindness, answer the child's questions, show a little curiosity in them and give them some positive attention, the child will thrive in contrast to not getting any attention and being isolated and neglected.

They made a study comparing orphaned children who were put in an educational institution to be cared by the educators, with orphaned children who were given one-on-one attention and care; the children given personal attention turned out to thrive significantly better, while the first group struggled to complete even the basic of their education.

They also noted that children who are sent to school early can perceive it as rejection from their parents - and the book confirms that in many cases, they are right. Parents are choosing their own freedom and time over care for their children, and sending them to school early just to get out of having to care for them at home. I knew I was right when I figured I was being sent to school early because I was resented at home.

It seems that the most vital part of raising a child is giving them attention and care, and children who do not receive that support are at a major disadvantage over the children who do, and it's out of children's control what they get. It made me burn inside to know this, because the first thing abusive parents take away from us is the engagement, attention, warmth and kindness. Even with children who do get engagement from their abusive parents, it's all for the parent's sake, children are forced to focus on what the parent needs from them, and not the reverse. Children are forced to give attention, rather than to receive it.

If you've been brought up in an abusive home, it's likely that the attention you got was just to inform you that nobody cares and that you are too old to want attention. Kindness was taken away and you were told that 'tough love' was better for you, you would end up spoiled if you received kindness. Warmth, curiosity and engagement, were limited resources that you were able to get precious little of, if any, and only when your abuser was 'in a good mood'. You weren't supposed to consider yourself important enough to get one-on-one attention, or to have someone engage with you and give answers to all of your questions, reactions to all of your efforts.

it wasn't supposed to be like that. Children don't thrive on neglect or cruelty. Being engaged with and given attention is necessary, even vital for us to be able to grow up healthy, to complete our education and to find our way in the world. They lied to us about everything. They took what they wanted from us and neglected to give us childhoods. This isn't normal. We weren't supposed to be treated like we were disposable. We needed attention just like all the other kids. We deserved it just the same.

#abusive parents #better late than early #child abuse #child neglect #neglected child #abused child #childhood trauma #abusive childhood #traumatic childhood #toxic parents #neglectful parents #children and education

[moonlit-positivity]

To grow up in abuse is to grow up in an environment where logic and reason just doesn't exist. It's illogical to blame a child for the adults failures, it's illogical to place the blame on a tiny human being dependent on the grown ups to take care of them. Not only is this inhumane, but it's also incredibly alienating for a child to grow up in an environment where their freedom & autonomy is continually stripped from their control 24/7 and told that you just need to sit down shut up and do what youre told or else you're gonna get beat/punished/violated etc. And this is incredibly normalized by not only your parents but also your surrounding environment, family, and society all throughout childhood into young adulthood when (IF) you escape their control and then go out in society to find out that literally nobody knows what the fuck you just had to go through. Not to mention the fact that escaping the control and abuse of someone who has literally controlled you for 18+ years is incredibly hard to do in the first place. They own your documents, they control your money, they control your transportation, they control your phone privileges, they control your privacy, they control literally every aspect of your life. You literally have to take the first available and viable escape route in order to leave that shit behind, and sometimes that doesnt happen until way later in life. The pain and isolation and dissociation and escapism that ensues is a direct result of the illogical pain of our childhoods. It is perfectly normal to be angry, jealous, and enraged by this revelation. There is this silent ignorance in society that if a child runs away or speaks out, they're automatically "disrespectful and a burden for the parents to bare." And it burns me up inside that nobody wants to talk about this or break it down to the deeper aspects of understand that parents can be equally as abusive as anyone else in this world. Parents are not created equal. Child abuse exists! They'll love to say things like "it takes a village to raise a child" okay then WHERE IS THE VILLAGE WHEN THE CHILD IS BEING NEGLECTED AND ABUSED???? Wish we could get society to talk about that more outside of Law & Order SVU!!

#recovery #ptsd #trauma #boundaries #mental health #healing #child abuse #toxic parenting #neglectful parents #abusive parenting #abusive parents #surviving abuse #parental abuse #emotional abuse #trauma awareness #trauma positivity

[just-more-pr0mts]

Danny Phantom promt#3

Classic feild trip au with a bit more common sense

Danny loved feild trips, especially when they took the class out of town to look at things like astronomy towers or doing things like beach clean ups. It was an easy out from school, he got to do something helpful or see something new, and just not do work.

So when Mr Lancer had announced they were going on a feild trip. Danny usally would have been excited, but they were going to Fenton works. His house. And his parent were going to give demonstrations on thier work and 'equipment'.

_________

Danny was running late. Now this was a common occurrence, but when he was late for the trip to his own home...well that might have a bit of explaining to do.

_________

The entrance to Fenton works slammed open, and Jasmine 'Jazz' Fenton,Mr Lancer and class all turned to face the door with a start.

"Im so sorry im late sir" Daniel 'Danny' fenton in all his glory stood panting at the door way. "I forgot we wer- well you were coming here today. And i was in a rush and i didn'tget breakfastand i-"

"It's alright Mr Fenton" Mr Lancer cut in over the A-listers snickering and a heavy sigh from what soundedlike Sam "The tour has not yet started, why don't you go and get breakfast"

Relief washed over danny, "Thank you sir I'll try and be quick about it" he headed over towards the kitchen area dropping his backpack next to a couch which was occupied by some of the students in class. Just before he stepped in, he was cut short by a-

"Hey Danny wait-" Jazz exclaimed as she went and picked up a baseball bat leaning against the wall. "Here" as she tossed him the bat.

He caught it effortlessly "Thanks Jazz, your the best" and went to go and get himself some breakfast.

"What was that all about?" Paulina an A-listers asked from her spot on a couch. "Why does he need a baseball bat?"

"Oh our mom cooked meat loaf last night" Jazz said as if the most obvious thing in the world

Sam and Tucker winced. And the rest of the class along with Mr Lancer looked around in confusion. What does that have to do with anything? Was the question on their minds.

"Miss Fenton if you could please elaborate?" Mr Lancer asked.

"Oh! Silly me, you guys don't live here like those gremlins" she said gesturing toward Sam and Tucker. "Well you see-" she was cut off buy a scream.

"You alright in there?" Jazz said loudly "I found the meatloaf!" Danny screamed back. "Don't forget, dad went and bought apples" "Apples?" Danny questioned. "Yes they're-" "Behind the toASTER" his voice cracked and a clash was heard, things falling over and then silence.

Danny slowly walked out of the kitchen, his shirt singed at the bottom and a stain on his fright sleeve. His head hung low and hair a mess and his face sporting a cut near his hairline. "Hey Jazz.." he started off. " I'm hungry, I didn't have anything since lunch yesterday..do you" he looked up at her, she was heading over to a panel in the wall.

?

She pushed against it with her palm and it opened up. She grabbed a bandage, a bottle pf water and what looked to be a protein bar. "I have to restock again but here" she handed him the protein bar and water and dragged him over to an empty chair and wrapped head.

"It's just a small scratch" He mumbled. "That could get infected which is why I'm using these bandages"

All whilst this is happening the room full of people are looking on in alarm. Danny hasn't eaten for how long? Not because he doesn't have food bit because of what? He's parents must do something right? Why do they have a secret panel of food and first aid equipment?

#this wasnt proof read #not proofread #cartoon #neglected danny phantom #danny phantom #sad danny phantom #hungry danny #jazz is a good sister #neglectful parents #class is worried #Sam and tucker are sadly used to to this #i tried #feel free to add \correct anything #feel free to add on #but please #please tag if this ever gets made into a fic #please tag me #feel free to ignore #i want a fic on this #please

[twoheadedfather]

i never really process how naturally unhappy i am when my parents are home until they leave and my mood immediately becomes better

#my dad went to go get drinks last night and when he left happiness was an emotion for a second #toxic parents #childhood abuse #child abuse #childhood neglect #child neglect #childhood trauma #trauma #neglectful parents #emotional abuse #emotional neglect #average traumatizedro8ot tags

[tofuingho]

Danny was 100% one of those kids that didn't go to bed until midnight.

Lord knows Jack and Maddie probably weren't putting him to bed, so I'd bet Jazz was probably the one that had to do it.

After a while she'd just give up on trying to make him sleep and just started dropping him in his room and going to bed herself.

Especially since Danny loves space. I bet he'd stay up to look at the stars and then fall asleep by the window.

#danny phantom #danny fenton #headcanon #dp headcanons #jazz fenton #neglectful parents #jack and maddie

[addilynn-rogers]

how do you expect me to get better in the environment that made me sick in the first place?

#childhood trauma #abuse survivor #emotional abuse #trauma #trauma survivor #verbal abuse #complex ptsd #abusive mothers #emotionally abusive mothers #verbally abusive mothers #childhood neglect #neglectful parents #emotionally neglectful parents #emotionally neglectful fathers #abusive parents #toxic parents #emotional neglect #enabler parents #enabler fathers #tw vent #vent post #vent #venting

[samijami]

EH EHE HE EHE EHEMMMMMMMM

YOU DONT 'TRAIN UP' A FUCKING CHILD THEY ARENT YOUR GODDAMN PET FUCK YOU

GOOD DAY

#tw child neglect #child neglect #children rights #child rights #children are people #children are the future #human rights #basic human rights #basic human decency #insane parents #neglectful parents #fuck parents #parental figures #children are humans #kids are human #young people #teenagers #teenagers are human #teens are human #teenager rights #teen rights #tw child abuse #tw child harm #tw child exploitation #tw childhood trauma #childhood neglect #childhood trauma #childhood #protect children #protect kids

[come1nalone]

Adult children of neglect: this is how to wash your hair and take care of it.

Ive gotten this one as a request. Back at it again. Personally I’ll say that my hair is very fine and very straight, I do know people with curly hair may have a more complex way of taking care of their hair. But regardless the basic idea stands.

I myself don’t have that many encounters regarding my childhood and hair. I do remember being 12 and having a small section of my hair become matted. I was able to solve it out, but it shouldn’t have happened in the first place! I was a kid.

Those are my general tips I could think of from the top of my head.

It’s important that you brush your hair once a day. You can deffo do it more than once. But doing so at least once is important as your hair can become matted if you don’t.

If your hair ever does get matted, know that there are special salons trained in de-matting hair. You don’t have to go at it with scissors.

As per washing your hair, different people have different ways to go about it. The rule of thumb is to wash it if it becomes greasy, or if it smells. If you don’t have a feel for it, or no one ever taught you, Try washing your hair every other day. See if that feels good- if not, try to understand what is a ratio that works better.

If you had to go alone and hadn’t had an adult teach you this, it’s worth noting that when you go to the barber, or the hair salon, it’s considered good practice to come in with your hair washed and detangled before your meeting. In some places it’s considered common courtesy to tip. Depends on where you live.

You can always do a lot of learning online when it comes to styling your hair, don’t be shy to search for tips. This also extends to special hair products, or tips and tricks when it comes to certain hair types. Do not be embarrassed. You deserve to learn and nurture yourself with love!

One thing I think children of neglect aren’t aware of are the vast options that exist of anything really. When you’re busy surviving, and no adult is there to show you how to take care of yourself. You often reduce your world to a world of survivalism. In reality, your hair is a sign of beauty (in many cultures), it’s a way of self expression, but most importantly it’s a part of you that deserves to be nourished and loved. It takes time to readjust to a world of living when all you’re used to is surviving.

May you find the ways in which your hair becomes a familiar part of you! And good luck in recovery.

#adult children of neglect #adulting tips #neglect recovery #neglectful parents #child neglect

[nmolesofadrenaline]

#abuse survivor #toxic family #emotional abuse #dysfunctional family #toxic mom #toxic parents #ptsdlife #ptsd awareness #ptsd recovery #childhood ptsd #actually ptsd #ptsd vent #complex ptsd #ptsd #tw abuse #childhood neglect #cw neglect #neglectful parents #child neglect #emotional neglect #parental neglect #tw neglect #abandoment issues #abandoned #mommy issues

[thehorriblepoet]

I stewed like raw meat left out in the sun

Forgotten and growing more rancid by the hour

I’ve been left to the elements

Everyone can smell the scent of neglect on me

Can I be blamed for the bacteria that clings to me?

Can I be blamed for the sickness I now cause in others?

Still I can see everyone turning their noses up

Disgusted by my putridity

Tell me how to wash it off then!

I’m afraid I’ve been stained forever by it

The mold growing into my flesh—never to be flushed out

Been left to rot for too long

Maybe it would’ve been best to have been thrown out

To protect everyone from the pathogens flourishing in me

I refuse to cut off the dead parts of myself

No matter how much they ruin me

#poetry #new to poetry #original poem #original poetry #poem #poetry on tumblr #new to this #original writing #writing #female writers #female anger #anger #painful #parental neglect #emotional neglect #neglectful parents #tw neglect #childhood neglect #processing

[furiousgoldfish]

When you're a child of the abuse, your caretakers punish you for ever showing your true feelings; they teach you to put up a front, to pretend you're fine, to play along, to never open up. More over, they teach you that nobody cares for whatever you have inside, and that if you ever do open up, you will be unlovable and despised for it.

So, when you, for the first time, find someone who makes you feel comfortable and safe enough that you consider opening up about what's going on inside you, it feels big. it feels like the most risky, most dangerous, most important thing in your life is about to happen. And you're nervous, and scared, and jittery, and you're so worried that this person is going to instantly hate you, and prove your parents right. You're even trying to get ready for it, to be shut down and despised.

But you can't stop it. Once you've been holding your feelings back for so long, and get once chance to say them out loud, they almost want to tear themselves out of you, you need this, so badly, you're willing to risk everything, just for a chance to be seen and not hated. If there's even a slight chance, you go ahead and do it. Even if it makes you feel like you're making the biggest mistake, like it will be punished and end up in shambles, you go for it. You risk everything for friendship, for connection. For a chance to have your parents proven wrong.

Opening up for the first time is about as vulnerable as you can get as an abused kid, and if you're met with gentleness and warmth, this will mean everything to you. To have put yourself in a position where someone could have hurt you badly, and they didn't, it means the world. It's what creates a bond of trust and freedom, a chance and a hope for you that you can keep doing it, keep existing and being known without being despised, it's what you hold onto in order to survive the rest of your life. Some abused kids would go very, very far in order to keep this, to have something to hold on to.

I want you to know, that it's mostly abused kids who are risking so much by opening up, and having to become this level of vulnerable and attached to the first person who will acknowledge them. Abused, neglected, ignored and emotionally abandoned kids will in general, show far greater gratitude for attention and a positive response, and will go very far to preserve and keep it, making us a very easy target for grooming.

When you first get acknowledged like this, know that this person isn't the only one who sees the good in you. You do not owe them everything, even if they were the first one who made you feel like a human being. I know this meant everything to you, and it was the most special moment for you, and nobody can take that away from you. But keep in mind that this isn't an exception, this is how all of the people should be. Nobody should be shutting you down, nobody should be telling you that you're not special, not valuable, or not lovable. Or that your feelings aren't valuable or worthy of being expressed. Those are grooming lines. You were fine all along. And everyone should get to help you see it, not just one isolated person who is in a position to take advantage of it.

#reblog if you got groomed by the first person who accepted you #abusive parents #child abuse #child neglect #abuse aftermath #abuse making children vulnerable to groomers #neglectful parents #toxic parents #evil parents #trying to make the kid feel unworthy of connection #setting them up for trauma bonding

[moonlit-positivity]

So theres this thing that can happen when you're growing up with abusive, controlling, invasive, neglectful, and otherwise just cruel parents and other adults around you. So when you're still a kid, a minor at least (under 18 in the US), there can be times when you start telling other people like your friends or teachers at school etc, the kinds of things you're going through at home. And sometimes there's this kind of conflict between outsiders giving you advice and information, vs the chaotic, abusive, and controlling reality that you live in, where if you were to actually do any of that advice it would actually just make the entire situation ten thousand times worse when your abusive parent finds out. Like for instance I once had a teacher tell me it might be better if I were to just run away, and so I did. It did not end well. I went to my gfs house and her mother told me she couldn't in good faith keep me there while I was underage, so she drove me back home and when I got home the cops were at my house waiting for me because my mother had called them. And because of that my mother would often times call the cops on me in college to do "wellness checks" if I didn't call her every hour on the hour. All the while, as a minor I'm getting beat and r*ped while my mother is drunk out of her mind 24/7. And I see this talked about sometimes, but the notion of mandated reporting didn't exist in my city in the early 2000's, and even if it did CPS & foster systems can be equally as abusive and fucked to go through. So if you're in that kind of position, the one thing I have learned from my 20+ years of abusive parenting ruining my life is that your intuition is gonna save you time and time again. Trust it. Sometimes advice from others can be good advice, like yeah you probably should run away. But can you realistically do that in a way that's gonna guarantee your safe and permanent escape? Probably not as a minor. It's not really a situation where outside advice may always be the best decision to make, even if it is in good faith. You know your home environment way better than anyone else. Your senses and your nervous system is already attuned perfectly to your chaos. And it SUCKS that there are no other options except "wait until you're 18 and then leave", because that is STILL problematic as fuck when your abusive parents already control every aspect to your life. Leaving abusive parents is one of the hardest mf things in this world and I don't think that is talked about enough! There is definitely not enough conversations on the minute details of, okay so HOW do I get out? Safely and permanently? Where do I go? Where do I live? How do I eat? And what do I do once the PTSD kicks in? Because no one ever talks about that either. And people who have never been in an abusive situation a day in their life think they may be doing well by giving advice, but unless them mfs are willing to either house you from the abuse themselves or help you find shelter and resources then many many times their advice comes from a place of ignorance and it shows.

#recovery #ptsd #trauma #mental health #physical abuse #abuse recovery #control #controlling parents #abusive parents #toxic parenting #neglectful parents #parenting #child abuse #mandated reporting #advice #life advice #how to escape

[alostlittleriverlotus]

I hate the way my parents get proud of me. It's never...really seeing me. Like when I accomplish something socially or despite my anxiety and disabilities, it feels less like a celebration of something I'm proud of and more a celebration of "yay, you can be normal and get better, see how life can be if you just push through?! :)"But no. I can push through when I can, but I cannot force it. I cannot function. I cannot be normal. I'm too traumatized and disabled. I'm fine with that, it doesn't make me too sad. I do mourn the things I miss out on, but I'm happy to not push my body or force myself or believe I'm a failure. Yet when they celebrate me, it always feels like hinted and laced with this expectation for me to continue to do it so I can be an independent, functional adult and I hate that. I want to be happy about doing something despite my disabilities when I can cause that makes me happy. It's not about fitting in or being functional, it's about knowing my boundaries and being happy when I have the energy and ability to do what I want. It makes things I'm genuinely happy about feel hollow and I hate it. I'm not fully seen even when I say these are my limits. They choose to not understand because I fit outside their world of understanding.

I keep thinking my mom is reachable in some way while I live here (going no contact once I move out cause bigotry and no acceptance), but then she just doesn't listen. I know as long as she's married to my dad, she won't be reachable. As long as she's unwilling to question her worldview, she won't be reachable. And by this point, I don't care. I haven't cared. I just want like the most decent respect and the most basic care while I'm living here instead of constantly feeling like she's thinking other things.

But my parents have never been honest about how they feel with me. I've scared them since I was young cause I was weird and different than them. I was something they couldn't understand or control. I had intense emotions and acted differently than they expected. I loved things they didn't love like horror.

And the fact my mom wouldn't say why they're going on vacation for a solid minute before saying "we just need to get away" after I asked why I wasn't coming to the beach. I assumed it was a make up for an anniversary trip since we were moving around that time. But no. That tells me my answer. It's cause of our fights lately and cause she can't handle me actually standing up to her and making her listen to me. And that hurt. And who knows it's also because I've had episodes on previous vacations cause of my dad pushing me and overwhelming me and then him yelling at me.

I'm sick of the way they act around me. I'm sick of the fact they act like I'm some fragile timebomb about to go off. I'm autistic, I have meltdowns, I'm traumatized, I'm easily overwhelmed, that does not make me something awful. I find it amusing how much they are uncomfortable around me. Good. But also, I'm sick of being treated like an "other" around here cause I have psychotic disorders, intense emotions, days of fatigue, bad brain fog, and other shit. I don't get respected or accommodations so I end up lashing out and then they use that against me. I don't care to make other people comfortable. I just hate being treated as something odd that needs to be avoided or delicately dealt with instead of them actually acknowledging their poor treatment of me. But no. My parents can't be normal about anyone with more psychotic disorders and more intense reactions. My mom even using "I get overwhelmed and I know to calm down" against me as if it makes me lesser for not controlling myself. I'm pretty used to dealing with this stuff by now, but it still gets to me when all I want is to get help without being guilted or lectured or talked down to. Just LISTEN TO ME, I KNOW MY BODY AND MIND, YOU DON'T!!!!!

#actually autistic #actually disabled #actually traumatized #actually narcissistic #disabled #actually borderline #actually histrionic #npd #chronic pain #chronic fatigue #abusive parents #neglectful parents #aspd #bpd #hpd #antisocial #actually antisocial #actually aspd #actually avoidant #actually psychotic #actually schizospec #actually schizoid #actually paranoid #autism #autistic #semiverbal #semispeaking #ableism #sanism #tw ableism

[twoheadedfather]

it's so weird having severe childhood trauma😭😭 "yeah, i was tortured as a child." like, ooookay...😬 why is it as embarrassing as getting hit by a car

#nobody is relating to this robot close the tab. #oh you went through severe and chronic trauma? well i just called the mayor of loserville and it was your number apparently so #😭LIKE WTF IS MY BRAIN EVEN TALKING ABOUT ATP #childhood trauma #trauma #childhood abuse #childhood neglect #toxic parents #complex ptsd #complex post traumatic stress disorder #cptsd #post traumatic stress disorder #ptsd #abusive parents #neglectful parents #parental neglect #parental abuse #csa survivor #childhood sa #you will NEVER catch me going in depth about the shit i've been through because #one it would make me extremely upset duh #but also two it's so embarrassing like wtf am i even talking about #is this a coping mechanism