#neoswitch

[lebrookestore]

favorite crime | l.ty

Pairing: Lee Taeyong x reader

Themes: childhood best friends to lovers, college au, a pinch of greek mythology, heavy angst, SLOWBURN, bittersweet ending, fluff, humour, sexual innuendos, kissing, mutual pining, talk about love, references to songs and musicals

Warnings: heavy angst, swearing, underage alcohol consumption, food, sexual innuendos and sex jokes, one slightly spicy scene with heavy making out but nothing sexually explicit, PG 15

Wc: 30k+

Playlist: here (please listen to it while you read!!!! each song is pretty important and i worked really hard on it ;-;)

Summary: Best friends do almost everything together, especially one’s like you and Taeyong and that means you get to experience many firsts together, teaching each other things, but if there’s one thing that is needed to be taught, it’s that best friends aren’t meant to be lovers. [part of my ‘disquietude’ collab!]

Taglist:  @danishmiilk @channoticedmeuwu @chicksung @1-800-seo @blueprint-han @jenosslut @cupidluvstarrz @kkakkdugi @sweetlyjaem  @leetaeyonglover @kunrengui @unknown5tar @kisshim @intokook @mrkcore @coco-riki @kiri-ah @imdamnconfused @adoreateez @rouiyan @sungchanscult @doievoir @donutswithjaminthemiddle @stillsmokingcigarettes​ @rouiyan​ @radiorenjun​ @rr0zu​

Authors note: happy early birthday to my one true love!!! This fic has my entire heart and soul and with posting this I can say that it’s my favorite thing I’ve ever written so far. A few elements that I’ve added into this fic are a little personal, so i have an attachment to it.  It’s also the longest thing I’ve ever written (and probably will ever write) and I’m very proud of it. I mean this in the nicest way possible, but I hope you cry reading it and most of all I hope you enjoy it, because I loved writing it!! As always, feedback would be appreciated<33

i] roses are red, violets are blue, i’m clumsy as fuck and lucky to have you

You didn’t understand your best friend at all, even though you’ve known him since you were four. You’ve seen him cry over other kids blowing out the candles on his birthday cake, you’ve seen him fall flat on his face while attempting to play soccer (he’s much better at it now). The time he was certain he could fly and attempted jumping out of his window, only to clamber back up on the room tiles and into the safety of his room. That was the day he discovered he had a fear of heights, so flying was out of the question. His new favorite super power was invisibility.

You’ve seen him grow up with you, and turn into the attractive young man he was today from the cute little ten year old he used to be. You watched his childish features morph into clear cut ones (quite literally. God knows what happened to his cute little baby jawline, but it was gone for good.)

He had drawn on your cast when you had broken your hand, and had made sure to pay attention in class just so his notes were reliable enough for you, since you couldn’t exactly write. 

He was still the same boy, however, he had just grown out of his awkward lanky phase, when he didn’t quite know what to do with his hands and would hence stuff it into the pockets of his black jeans. Always black, he claimed it was cooler and in the words of his fourteen year old self: much edgier.

The emo phase didn’t last that long either, though sometimes you wondered if he was in a perpetually emo state. It felt like that sometimes.

Now almost sixteen years later from when you first met, both of you twenty, you still didn’t get him, at all. He was attractive, he had good grades, he was pretty much the heartthrob at campus and yet, this idiot was the clumsiest guy you’ve ever met.

Case in point being the broken vase lying on the ground. Broken was generous, it was shattered, there was absolutely no saving it. The flowers lay strewn about sadly on the floor, as if imploring you to take them and give them a better home at your apartment. A few of the petals were dead, which was the result of him neglecting them.

Taeyong shot you a sheepish grin that melted into a grimace of sorts as he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. You pinched the bridge of your nose, shutting your eyes and counting to ten.

“I swear to god,” you muttered dryly, “How the fuck did you even manage for drop this? It was sitting in the middle of the table!”

You take a step back, glad that you hadn’t taken off your shoes and gestured to him to get a broom and dustpan to clean up the mess  he made. You go for a minute to the washroom and this is what happens.

He scrambled to do so, and you sighed, wondering if the girls who crushed on him would somehow fawn over this. They’d probably think Taeyong’s clumsiness was endearing, cute. It wasn’t, just plain annoying at this point.

You got to your knees, careful so that you didn’t place them on any glass and picked up the flowers in the hopes of salvaging them. They were roses, and for some reason, the thorns were still attached. Now you had to worry about the glass and the thorns, Jesus Christ.

Taeyong returned with the desired items, crouching down to help you, collecting the glass. You placed the half dead flowers on the side table near you and helped him sweep up the smaller pieces of glass. Glancing up at your best friend, you saw him staring intently at his task at hand, tongue peeking out of his mouth in concentration. 

You bit back a smile, finished cleaning up and threw the glass away, you got a mug from his kitchen, filling it with water and attempting to save the flowers. You didn’t have much hope for them, but hey, might as well give them their best chance (which was something Taeyong definitely didn’t do. He probably didn’t even change the water).

He stood beside you, watching with those big doe eyes of his. In all your time knowing him you would never understand how those eyes managed to go from their usual boba shape that drew everyone in, to the intense gaze you knew he could give. You had seen it occasionally, at parties, and that one time a creep didn’t take the hint and he stepped in to help you.

“So where do we keep the flowers?”

“The window next to your bed in your room,” you said, “And don’t forget to water them, or they’ll die. Again.”

“Again?” He protested, “They’re perfectly fine as they are right now, see!”

The bruised looking, dropping petal is enough answer for you. Shaking your head, you handed the mug to him, and he took it from you, fingers brushing against yours as he did so. You followed him as he walked to his bedroom, placing it near the window before frowning, “Nope, it can’t go there.”

“Why not?”

“I’ll knock it over when I climb out,” he explained, pointing out of the window where the roof tiles lie, steeping downwards until they met the edge of the other roof, which led up to another window; yours.

The two of your buildings happened to be impossibly close, and ironically enough your apartments were just opposite each other, which led to several late night chats sitting out there on the tiles of the roof, under the stars of the night.

The world decided to push the two of you together, as it always had. You were best friends after all.

You nodded, knowing your little talks at night weren’t a rare thing, and he would most definitely knock over the mug, dooming the poor flowers to a fate worse than the one it had already endured. “Take them off the window sill and then keep them back when you’re done,” was your solution.

 He groaned, but didn’t argue, though you knew exactly what was going through his mind. He was silently complaining about the effort he’d have to put in for the stupid flowers. You could tell this by just looking at the knit of his eyebrows, the way his tongue poked through his cheek.

You noticed a lot of things about Taeyong, like the back of your hand. You could read him with your eyes closed, you knew his tells for when he was lying, you knew when he was tired or when he wasn’t taking care of himself. 

It was almost laughable, the way you knew him better than you knew yourself. You wondered if it was the same for him, because you had several questions you knew you’d never ask.

You didn’t know why he made you feel this way.

~

Taeyong hated taking care of things that weren't important, simply because it was a hassle, it was unnecessary and he was one lazy guy in his twenties.

He wasn’t lazy in the way you’d expect, he always woke up on time everyday for his dance class, then he’d work hard on his assignments and projects and pass his exams with flying colours. He was never late, he was dependable.

But it was the mundane tasks, like remembering to wash his dishes, or perhaps (a totally random, not at all carefully chosen example) watering those goddamn roses that sat on his window sill.

But then again, he had promised you he would, even if it hadn’t been spoken out. He had agreed the moment you told him too, but it was boring, and he could be doing so much more with his time.

But he also knew that you wouldn’t hesitate to hold him over the second death of the flowers if he managed to kill them once again, and so he found himself throwing out the old water from a week back maybe? He honestly forgot about the damn thing, but hey! At least he was doing it now right? Better late than never, right?

He’d feed himself lies to console his conscience until the mug of flowers were back on the sill.

He remembered the time when the two of you were fifteen, and he had hurt himself, waking up in the hospital a few hours later with a scar next to his right eye. He hadn’t liked it at all, it was like a reminder of the incident, but you told him you liked it, once it was all healed. You had told him it looked like a rose to you.

And as he stared at the roses sitting in front of him at that moment, he didn’t really see the similarity, but he sure as hell liked the comparison.

You pushed the cart, walking into the cereal aisle and scanning over the cereals. 

Cereal picking was serious business, considering whatever you bought was what you lived off for approximately the next two weeks of your life. Honey Nut Cheerios was the responsible and healthy (sort of) option, a solid six point five, but you had eaten it everyday in middle school, and thus you decided to forgo it this time.

Taeyong walked right past you, until he spotted his one true love and took it off the shelves, placing it in the cart with a triumphant smile, “Frosted Flakes,” he declared, “The only cereal ever.”

“The hundreds of cereals right next to you seem to defy that point.”

Ever since Johnny had introduced him to frosted flakes one fateful evening, it had turned into your best friend's favorite one. Really, they were just glorified cornflakes dusted with sugar.

You spotted your own favorite; Cinnamon Toast Crush, and placed it next to the Frosted flakes. Obviously, your choice was the superior one, because it had a taste other than corn sugar. It was the perfect blend of spicy and sweet.

“Try something else will you?” Taeyong implored, “What about Apple Jacks?”

“They’re just orange Froot Loops,” you said, crossing the option off, “I watched the entire twenty one minute food theory episode on it.” 

“.....Which Segues into my next option! Froot Loops!”

You shake your head at  him, to which he responds with a grin, placing the box of obnoxiously coloured cereal in the cart, “But it’s good, you trust a man in his thirties on the internet over me?”

Taeyong pouted exaggeratedly, true to his overly dramatic nature. Placing a hand over where his heart would be, he gasped in mock offense when you nodded firmly with a shit eating grin and staggered backwards, sulking. You would never admit it, but his idiotic nature was amusing, he could never fail to make you smile.

“Matpat has used science to prove it,” you said, stressing on the word ‘science’, but let the box stay in the cart. There was no way in hell you were going to let him bad mouth Matpat and his three channels. 

There wasn’t a reason for Taeyong to be with you at the moment, but you wrote it off as your best friend contract (an actual piece of paper the two of you made when you were ten. He had convinced you that it had to be eaten as soon as it was made, but stopped you just before you took a bite out of the paper). And because the idiot wanted his precious frosted flakes.

You rolled the cart out of the aisle and into one that held the other food that you lived on: Cup noodles. It was easy and fast and never failed you, even if it wasn’t the healthiest option. It was better than burning your kitchen down. Not that that had ever happened, not yet at least.

Hey, at least you weren’t as bad as Taeyong, he lived on instant noodles, and them only. He was the type of guy you’d see standing in the produce section, staring at his phone for a good five minutes, then he’d make a face and walk away with a cart full of ramen.

The two of you combined was absolute hell, and after one time attempting to cook together, you both agreed to never speak of it ever again, an unwritten rule in your long forgotten best friend contract.

Granted, you were twelve, but that didn’t matter. It was a traumatic experience you would never be able to get over. Other best friends could be all cute and cook together, to hell with that, you valued your life and the money you had put into attending college too much to throw it all away by trying to make cookies.

You could just buy them instead, saving time and lives.

“Shin Ramyun,” he muttered softly to himself, searching for it as you mindlessly placed your cup noodles into the cart. “Cuppa is easier, you know?” There was no way you could live two minutes without some sort of discourse with him, it seemed.

Taeyong argued, “But you get more in an instant noodle pack.”

“Noodle? What is it all one big noodle Lady and the Tramp style?” you teased, shaking your head at him, “but with that you have to get a utensil out and then transfer it into a bowl and then wash two things, with cup noodles I have to do none of that.”

“It’s tastier.”

“Tastier my ass,” you muttered. With all you needed (cereal and noodles) in your cart, the two of you paid and walked out to Taeyongs car and kept the bags in the backseat while you took the shotgun. He turned the keys in ignition, turning to you, watching as your eyes were trained on some meme, turning up at the sides as you smiled briefly. 

He ran his tongue over the inside of his teeth, not liking the way he had to fight a smile at the scene. You were too at ease at the moment, he just had to get you riled up.

“You get more soup with the instant noodles.”

“Oh yeah? Well-”

ii] bacon my precious

You groaned, slamming your head into the book and pressed the cover so that it entrapped you. Part of you were hoping by this, you would absorb the words on its pages that refused to stick in your head long enough. Minoring in english was the wrong move, seeing all the readings you had to complete for class.

Not to mention the fact you had to take notes over this later. Thinking about going through the bland, terrible story was enough to give you a headache. The story had no substance, it didn’t leave an impact on you at all, making your job even harder. 

The worst part (oh yes there was more) was that it had nothing to do with midterms coming up, absolutely nothing! It was an extra mandatory reading that would never benefit you further in life. You had to do it anyway, and then study more for your exams.

The education system was fucked up, to say the least.

You breathed in the smell of the paper, not that it had that magical new book smell, but rather the old ‘I’ve been opened and closed so many times it’s sad’ type of scent that made you resent it even more. Lifting your head out of its confines, you slammed it shut and placed it on the wooden table and looked at your phone, which displayed the time.

You had about an hour before your next classroom and it was one twenty-four in the afternoon. Deciding to get lunch, you gathered your things, walking to the on-campus cafe. It wasn’t the fanciest by any means, but they made a mean BLT sandwich, something you were craving at the moment.

Walking into the place, you snatched a lone table by the window in the corner, keeping your stuff there and going to get the infamous sandwich, returning a few moments later. Opening up the damned book again, you took a bite out of it, savoring the crispy bacon pieces. There was a method to getting a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich perfect, and it all lied in the crispness of the bacon.

Not that you knew anything about it, you lived off Cinnamon Toast Crush and Cup noodles. 

Reading the same line you had been for the past fifteen minutes (the first line of the third paragraph on the page 13) trying to drill it in your brain. It had seemingly decided to stop processing english, which was unfortunate since it was the only language you properly knew.

You hear the bottom of a chair scrape against the tiled floor, and look up to see Taeyong pulling out a chair from an empty table nearby, placing it opposite you and sitting down.

“Hey.”

“Oh thank god,” you said, in relief from having an excuse to not read the book anymore, tossing it somewhere at the bottom of your bag, “That has to be the world's worst book.”

“Nah that was that book you wrote in fifth grade and made me read it.”

“I was ten, holy shit.”

He gave you a grin, which only irked you further, “Look at you now, though, journalism major.” All he did was smirk in response to your glare directed in his direction. “And an english minor too, fifth grade you was woke”

“I’ll throw my bacon on you.”

“You love your bacon, you wouldn’t dare sacrifice it and waste it over someone like me,” he stuck his tongue out at you like a kid, and for a moment, you wondered if he was still ten years old.

Instead you nod, “You’re right, you’re not worth it.”

He rolled his eyes, folding his arms on the table and leaning into it, resting his chin on his arms. Some of his hair fell over his eyes as he looked up at you with a scoff, “I’ll have you know I was asked out today.”

“Oh? Who was it?”

“Karina,” he said, clicking his tongue, “Freshman, extravagant purple hair?”

“OH!” You exclaimed, finally identifying the girl he was talking about. You had seen her around, she was pretty, and had doll like features. You sometimes thought that if someone was too harsh with her, she’d break on the spot. “And?”

“I turned her down.”

You made a sound of triumph, “Aha, Ryunjin owes me ten bucks.”

Taeyong narrowed his eyes at you, shaking the hair out of his face, “You bet on her asking me out?”

“Nah, we bet you’d turn down the next girl who asks you out, she said you wouldn’t, something about you being tired of being single, but I know you better,” you said simply, the smile on your lips was infectious. Taeyong rolled his eyes, but prompted you to continue. “You always turn them down.”

He hummed, taking the piece of lettuce that had fallen out of your sandwich and onto the plate, biting off the end, “Unless I ask them out.” He wasn’t sure why he pointed that out, but it felt like he had to. 

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw one of your bacon pieces that had fallen out of your sandwich slide away, and you glanced up, seeing Taeyong holding it, looking like a deer in headlights.

“Thought you weren’t worthy enough for my bacon?”

“Yeah but I get it anyway,” and down went your precious bacon. You raised an eyebrow, amused by his statement, “Oh? And why is that?”

“Because you love me.”

And indeed, you did love this idiot.

Unfortunately.

Of course, you loved him, who didn’t? He was the campus heartthrob, he caught eyes by doing the bare minimum. No seriously, the guy could breathe and some girl would be crying over it. And you were his best friend, someone he had had since he was a little kid.

Except you didn’t just love him in the best friend way you were supposed to. Your love was a little more….personal.

And it really wasn’t hard to love Taeyong, because he was one of the sweetest guys you knew, but neither was he a doormat. He was just as quick as you were, never missing a beat when it came to your banter, but he never insulted you. He respected you and saw you as an equal, he trusted you as you trusted him.

He was your constant, something that never changed. He was your umbrella in the rain, your shade in the summer and your coat in the autumn. In the spring, he happened to be your flowers, blooming around with colour, filling in the blank spots in your life.

Granted, it was a little stifling at times, but you had come to accept your role as the best friend. It wasn’t a hard one to play, since you had been playing it since you were four, you knew what to do before you knew what to call it. You knew the controls and the ropes of playing it, it was like second nature for you. 

You treasured your friendship, it didn't matter if you had to live with loving him quietly, that was fine. As long as you had him one way or the other.

“Earth to Y/n? Hello??” You snapped out of your thoughts, blinking several times and focusing on the hand that was waving in front of you. That hand belonged to your friend, Ryunjin, who looked bewildered, “Sorry we lost you there for a moment.”

“Oh,” you said, “Right sorry,” shaking your head, you looked around at your little friend group. Yeji was a senior, just a year older than you and Ryunjin, and the one you were the closest to. The last addition to the three of you was Yeri. 

Yeri was the most adventurous (read:unruly) of the four of you, and extremely blunt. She narrowed her eyes at you, “What's with the spacing out?”

You shrugged, stretching your arms above your head and leaning against the back of the chair. “Just thinking about class, we’re getting our assigned topics today for the article.”

Ryunjin blinked, eyes widening in shock and mild horror as she nodded along, “Fuck I forgot that was today.” Her grumbling made you crack a smile. Yeji yawned, “Well, I have my own project to work on so,” she bid you farewell, getting to her feet and collecting her things, walking away.

She was to graduate this year, and you would miss her a lot, considering she was practically your older sister. And because sometimes she occasionally brought you lunch, something the other two refused to do no matter what.

And because she was moving away, out of your college town and out of state. Of course, you would try your best to maintain your friendship, but not seeing someone everyday like you used to impacts a relationship. 

Then again, the four of you had your group chat. 

You on the other hand still had a whole year to graduate, being a junior. 

“Ah yeah we should get going as well,” Ryunjin said, getting up, and shooting you a pointed look. Glancing at your phone screen, you had about five minutes till your lecture, so it was a good idea to make a move.

Just a year more.

iii] back pain and writers block [name a more iconic duo, i’ll wait]

You looked at the empty document, glaring at it so viciously one might have thought it had hurt you in some way. You stuffed a spoonful of froot loops into your mouth, biting down on the sugary taste and savoring it. It had its own charm, you supposed. You happened to actually like the cereal, but there was no way in hell you’d ever admit it, at least, not to Taeyong.

You let the spoon fall back into the milk with a soft clink, placing the bowl down and sighing, rubbing your eyes tiredly. It was around one in the morning, and you were sitting at your desk, mentalling cursing yourself for taking up journalism. 

You loved it, you did, writing was your passion ever since you were ten years old. You would write short stories and compete in competitions your middle school held, not to mention the stories you wrote on Wattpad when you were twelve, but you don’t talk about that. (Thank fuck Taeyong didn’t know about that, you;d never hear the end of it.)

You knew when you were fifteen you wanted to be a journalist, you wanted to give the facts while using your talent. Taeyong had his dancing and singing, the latter of which he didn’t do as much, and you had your writing.

But right now, stuck in the precipice of the mightiest writers block you had ever faced, you regretted nothing more. At least the other times you faced this, you knew what to do, just couldn’t do it. Here, you were at a total loss for words itself (in the words of Mark Lee; you couldn’t english at the moment.)

The article you had to write was worth a whopping fifty percent of your grade, and the topic was ridiculous, idiotic, stupid and you couldn’t crack it for the life of you. What does love mean to you? How did it feel? What is it? Well, not verbatim, but that was the gist of it, and hell if you knew how to navigate the topic. You had spent a good two hours trying to research the topic, and still hadn’t the slightest clue. 

And so you resumed your little staring contest with your laptop screen, though it had already won as a result of you blinking several times in your annoyance. The black google doc stared back at you, and at this point you were sure it was mocking you.

Scowling at it, you picked up your bowl of soggy Froot Loops, taking a vengeful mouthful and frowning. It was just a mess of lumps of faded colour and saturated sugar milk, it all tasted like cardboard now. So much for liking it.

And suddenly you were acutely aware of the fact that your eyes were burning, they hurt and were probably red from all the rubbing and staring. Everytime you shut them, it would feel better, until you opened them once more and that stinging sensation was back. Speaking of backs, yours currently hurt. 

It was then you realized you were slouched in your seat, over the sorry bowl of cereal.

You hated writing at the moment, what was even the point? You wanted to become a journalist to spit out the facts, to tell the truth while utilizing your talent to help the world, not to write a romance novel for god's sake. What was love to you? Having enough money to pay for college without having to break your already hurting back with student debt. What did it feel like? A perfectly fine back.

God damnit.

You felt tired, as if the exhaustion of the day was finally crashing onto you, telling you to go to bed, to eat something other than cereal, to finally give up and write an article about how you don’t, in fact, know what love is, and that you were going to end up as a fifty year old cat lady with hot pink curtains.

A promising future in store for you.

Cursing wildly in a random fit of anger, you slammed your laptop shut, pushing the bowl away from you. Burying your head in your hands, you sighed, the burst of adrenaline that your body had provided you with to spew the infamous f-word wearing off as quickly as it had creeped up upon you. You were tired, you finally accepted the fact.

Your little pity session was interrupted by a knock on your window, so soft you almost didn’t hear it. In all honesty, you wouldn’t have, but you knew the knock well, you had been in this position several times and so you got out of your chair, gravitating to your bed and climbing over, pulling the curtains open.

You were met with Taeyong staring back at you, his doe eyes meeting yours. Your breath hitched for a moment, because it felt like the glass wasn’t there, and he was actually that close. You were then grateful for the glass that muted the sound of your breath catching in your throat for him.

And then the moment dissipated as he narrowed his eyes at you, knocking rapidly on the door as a sign for you to open it. Blinking out of your thoughts, you nodded, unlatching the locks and pushing the window doors open. Unfortunately, Taeyong was caught off guard, hit smack dab on the forehead.

He fell onto his backside, glaring at you as he rubbed his forehead, “Jesus Chirst woman, are you trying to kill me?”

You caught the swinging window in time, shooting him an apologetic look, “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to-and beside, why the fuck would I kill you on our rooftops?”

“This is literally the starting to every horror movie, I swear bitch if you kill me I will haunt your stupid cuppa noodles forever.” He threatened, pushing himself back into a normal position. You gasped, climbing out of the window and onto the roofs, opposite him.

“Not my noodles you savage,” you said dramatically, sitting crisscrossed, “And besides, I think murdering you here would be too obvious, right outside my window and all,” you pondered aloud, looking so serious, Taeyong was alarmed for a moment. “They’d trace it back to me immediately, I’d rather kill you in an abandoned field or something.”

“I regret this already.”

You laughed, “So, what’s up?”

He gave you a pointed look, “Shouldn’t I be asking that to you? The only way I could make out you were awake was the light shining through your curtains from your laptop, and you’re sitting in the dark.”

His eyes furrowed in what you could only call motherly concern as he folded his legs over each other, “Why are you awake?”

“You’re awake too, you know,” you defended, that tiredness you felt from earlier coming back to you. 

“I was playing Overwatch, you’re doing this on purpose because of some class,” he said plainly. Damnit, this boy knew you too well. There was no point in denying it, and so you sighed, looking up at the dark sky. 

“Writer's block,” you confessed finally after a few minutes, “I physically can’t write, and this article is pretty important.”

He hummed an idle tune, acknowledging your statement, but not saying anything. He knew how you got when you had writer's block, and there wasn’t much he could do anyways, instead he just nodded along. “You’ll get it”

Taeyong said this so confidently, you were a tad surprised. “You always get it in the end,” he said simply, the conviction in his voice almost making you believe it yourself.

You wished you had his faith he had in you.

iv] crush culture makes me wanna spill my guts out

You were seventeen when you first knew you had fallen for Taeyong. An inkling of what was a crush, so small it didn’t even matter, but it was the start.

Seventeen, three years ago, the middle of midterms, and you were a mess. It was when you started pulling full on all nighters, just so you could cram as much information until the last minute.

And it was worth it, you made it through finals week knowing you did well. You would discover that you passed with flying colours the next week. 

You had to make it past the weekend, which would be full of nervous anticipation, which you were determined to forgo. There was a party that evening, on Friday, the day of your last paper, to kick off the summer break with a bang and unwind after the stressful week.

However you ended up not going, not because you weren’t keen on having to navigate sweaty bodies and deal with underage drunk kids much like yourself, nor was it because you were hopelessly lightweight, but because the stress and toll of pulling so many all nighters, you had fallen sick.

So you spent your Friday in your bed, surrounded by boxes of kleenex and with a fever.

Lovely.

Sniffling for what must have been the tenth time in the span of half an hour, you were dejected and lonely. You were supposed to be having fun, not moping about in a pool of self pity and germs.

You reached out for one of the kleenex boxes, raising the tissue to your nose and blowing rather violently, so much so that your nose hurt more than it already did. Just as you were about to reach over for another, the door of your room burst open, with Taeyong standing there, holding a brown paper bag.

He was definitely dressed up, a button up black shirt that had a few buttons open at the top, and skinny jeans. His hair was in its usual messy state, except this looked more accidental than usual. He walked in as if he owned the place, placing the bag on your bedside table and frowning at you.

“You look like death.”

“I’ll inflict it on you if you don’t shut up,” you said, not missing a beat. Not even a fever could come in between your banter. He smirked, reaching a hand out and ruffling your already messed up hair, “What happened?” “I’m sick”, you deadpanned, rolling your eyes, looking at the bag. “Holy shit, did you get-”

“Chinese? Yeah”

“I love you”, you said, forgetting about your kleenex and leaning over to grab it, but he took it before you could. “Slow down Rudolph Reject,” he said, taking a jab at your red nose, pulling out your chair from your desk and sitting next to your bed. Carefully taking out the boxes, he placed it back on your table, opening it for you.

“I’m not paralysed,” you said, albeit touched by his thoughtfulness. He rolled his eyes, opening the dumplings for you, “Don’t worry, I’m not feeding you or anything, just opening shit up.”

He held it out and you took one, popping it into your mouth. It was greasier than you expected it to be, and you studied the logo on the bag, before sighing in disappointment, “It’s The Green Chilli.”

“It was the closest okay?”

“Wok and Roll would have been ten times better.”

He glared at you, “I go and get you food, ditching a party and this is how you thank you? Jeez, kids these days, so ungrateful-”

You laughed, shaking your head, “Slow your roll grandpa, if it means so much to you, thank you.” He looked slightly pacified at this, taking a dumpling for himself. You watched him for a moment before the realization hit you. You narrowed your eyes.

“Why aren’t you at the party?”

He gave you an unimpressed look, “Because when I came over to pick you up your mom told me you were sick, so I went to Green Chilli to get you food.” He shrugged as if this wasn’t a big deal, and hey, maybe it wasn’t. Maybe your fever was making you delusional, but you were touched by the fact.

Then you realized you would do the same for him, he was far more important than a stupid party to you. But the thing was, he chose to spend his evening with you, even though he couldn’t get sick himself. He chose you over them, and hell, you would choose Taeyong again and again and-

“Hey, you good? Feeling light headed or something?” His voice cut you out of your reverie, looking concerned. “You spaced out.”

Blinking, you shook your head, lowering it and looking at your hands, feeling heat rush to your face. It was a new sensation, you thought it was ridiculous at the time. To suddenly think of someone that way, especially when that someone called you a Rudolph reject not even five minutes ago. 

Shaking it off, you took another dumpling, and continued paying attention to the conversation, which was mostly carried by Taeyong considering your sick state. 

Three years ago Taeyong touched your heart, and whirred it to life with his simple gesture. You fell in love with your best friend three years ago, when he chose you over everyone else.

~

“Do you mind answering a question?” You asked Yeji out of the blue, glancing up from your laptop. She looked up from her phone, nodding slowly, “Sure what's up?”

The two of you were studying together, not that your majors were anything similar, her’s being dance, but she was an english minor just like you, and could help you in assignments she had already done previously when she was a junior. Currently she was taking a break while you racked your brains for a way to start the article.

“Well you know how I haven’t dated around much, right?” You asked. She grinned, shooting you a smirk, “Of course, you’re too busy being Taeyong’s best friend, hmm?” There was a teasing lilt to her voice, and you made a point to ignore that statement, focusing on her affirmation.

“Well, you’re in a relationship aren’t you?” Your question confused her as she narrowed her cat like eyes, but nodded nevertheless. “Yeah, what about it?”

“Well, my article is supposed to be about love.” You clicked your tongue, turning the laptop around so she could see your screen, which held the same blank document, “And I don’t know where to start.”

She raised an eyebrow at you, “And I do?”

“Well, I was hoping I could ask you your perception of it- what do you feel when you’re with Jake?” At the mention of her boyfriend, her lips curled upwards at the sides. She shifted in her seat, “It’s great, we just click you know? But then again-”

You were already typing the first few words. Yeji sighed, walking over and grabbing your wrist. “That’s just one example Y/n, you’re not planning on writing an entire article about it, are you?” “With enough synonyms and careful repetition, it can be done.” You said confidently. Yeji pinched the bridge of her nose, sitting next to you on the sofa.  “That's not enough, definitely not for a project of this caliber.” Her tone was disapproving, like a mother trying to correct her child.

You were confused, cocking your head to the side for her to continue. Clearing her throat,  she continued to explain her point. “Well, I mean, love can be anything right? It’s not just one type. What I feel might not be the same for you.”

Nodding slowly, you looked back at your document, before slumping and letting out a frustrated sound. “Back at square one.”

“Take your own example, it’s supposed to be your interpretation of it, right?” Yeji alluded, “Take Taeyong as an example.”

“He doesn’t love me?” It ended like a question, but you were very sure of the fact, so much so that it didn’t really hurt much anymore. “But you love him?”

The question made heat rush to your face, as you dropped your gaze from your friend to the screen, staring at its emptiness. She sighed, getting up and collecting her things, “You can’t run on my experiences or advice, Y/n, you have to find your own.”

She left you alone, with your mind working overtime at the thought.

v] im blue da ba dee da ba da aye

The next time you saw Taeyong, he had blue streaks in his hair.

His hands were stuffed in the pockets on his jeans as he leaned against your door frame. Another thing you noticed was that he was wearing earrings, and while it suited him (you honestly thought it was pretty hot) it was a surprise, which rendered you standing there as you stared, taking it in.

“Coming?”

“Your hair!” you blurted out stupidly, blinking at him. He looked at you in surprise, before grinning almost sheepishly, ruffling the hair at the back of his head. “Yeah, I dyed it, like what you see?”

He wiggled his eyebrows at you suggestively, which would normally make you laugh, but you just continued gaping at him like an idiot, “It’s different.”

“Like a good difference…?” Taeyong trailed off nervously in question.  You nodded stiffly and smiled, “Yeah, a good difference.”

He let out a breath of relief he didn’t even know he was holding in. Your opinion mattered to him, you were someone he had known since he was a kid. He initially went and got highlights because he wanted a bit of a change. Granted it was definitely impulsive, but the fact that you approved made him feel better about the decision.

“Okay then, let’s go?”

You nodded, falling into step with him. The two of you walked out into the streets, and to his car, getting in and pulling out the usb cord to choose the music straight away. Taeyong had gotten his car when he was seventeen, and it was his baby. Sometimes you joked that he loved it more than he loved you.

The two of you were going for ice cream, since the day decided to be a blisteringly hot one, and the only solution for this was to go get ice cream. Specifically the ice cream shop just a little off town.

Tommy’s Ice cream, you would swear by the place. The ice cream there was the perfect cross between creamy, but not so much that you’re basically tasting whipped cream. And the best part? You could add whatever toppings you wanted without anyone judging you, and they had Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

You weren’t a hard girl to please.

Taeyong pulled up, parking the car and opening his door, “You want the usual right?”

“With-” “-Cinnamon Toast crush, yeah I know,” he rolled his eyes with a smile, closing the door and walking up to get your ice cream. You watched him until he disappeared behind the glass doors. There was absolutely nothing you could’ve done to stop the smile that was creeping up onto your face.

And a part of you was angry at yourself, you hated the way Taeyong managed to set your stomach alight with butterflies by doing the simplest of things. After knowing him for so long there was absolutely no reason for this to happen. You had seen him cry, you had seen him when he was sick, when he was throwing up (though you’d rather erase that memory).

Another part was perfectly happy with this, something about being in love with him was very comforting to you. It was easy, you knew what you were doing. You wouldn’t mess up.

But then as it was comforting, it was also terrifying. There was the possibility of messing up even if you thought you wouldn’t. Oh it was a confusing ride.

He returned and you opened the car door from the inside for him so he wouldn’t drop the precious ice creams. Sitting in his seat, he handed you your cup of ice cream, before focusing back on his own. 

Pulling your knees to your chest, you took a spoonful of the ice cream, sucking the spoon because you weren’t a savage and refused to bite it. Taeyong watched you try and get a piece of cereal exactly on top of the ice cream. Tongue sticking out of your mouth in an endearing way as you did so.

He took a spoonful of his own ice cream, smiling softly at you. Some random song you had chosen played in the background. He knew your favorite flavour, the exact amount of toppings you liked. 

In fact, he knew everything about you. Your favorite colour, the way you set up your desk all organized at the start only for it to become a mess by the end of whatever you were doing.

And honestly, the situation the two of you were in was walking a very fine line. Two of you, sitting in his car while he let you choose the music, and he paid for the ice cream. Alone, just the two of you. Of course, he had done this with you many times before.

Sure it could be best friends hanging out together, he told himself that it was this. He said this to block out the reality of it all, because was this not just the definition of a date? Wasn’t it the bare bones of a cute date?

Taeyong shook the thought away. He never took up dates, unless he asked them out first. He didn’t think that sending a short text that consisted of no punctuation whatsoever made the cut for a proper ask out for a date.

However when he looked at you, who was fiddling with the aux cord, he didn’t find himself opposed to the idea.

~

You needed to find your best friend.

You had been searching all over for him, he wasn’t even at the dance studio? And you always checked that place as a last resort, since it was on the opposite end of campus.  By the time you reached there you had a six pack and biceps that could kill.

Except he wasn’t there.

Whining, you leaned against the wall tiredly, breathing in heavily, You were the writer, the imaginative person of your duo, not the athletic one. All your hard work hadn’t paid off and you wished you had just walked back home instead of waiting for him. Why did you even wait? You would’ve been back in the safety of your house half an hour ago if you hadn’t.

Oh right, he was the guy who lived just next to you, and the one with a car. 

And yes, you had a car, your dad's old Prius, but you had a deadly fear of accidently running into someone and commiting murder before you graduated. That fear contributed to your not so graceful driving skills.

Huffing and puffing, you straightened out, gripping your bag and sighing, walking out of the building and past the gardens which led to the exit. When you reached home, you were going to have an enormously unhealthy bowl of Froot Loops with cold milk. 

Walking to the gate, you pulled out your phone, deciding to call him, which you really should have done in the first place. Would’ve saved you the trip to the studio, but you hadn’t thought of it. Now you were just a tad worried for him, because he was always there waiting for you.

He didn’t get the chance to pick up, because you spotted him a little away, talking to someone. Clicking off the call, you decided to walk over, ready to confront him. Did he just forget you today? 

And you would have gone through with it, except you stopped in your tracks.

Taeyong was speaking to someone, a lazy smile on his face as he did so. You recognized her as Seulgi, another dance major, one of Yeri’s other friends.

Had he been talking to her all this time?

Not that you were jealous or anything, but speaking realistically, he should have been with you! She was just a friend to him, while you were his best friend. You had waited for him, even walked to that damn dance studio, only for him to be completely unbothered, almost as if he had forgotten you existed.

As ridiculous as it was, you kind of wanted to be Seulgi at that moment.

This had happened before, several times actually, where Taeyong would somewhat forget about you, or be talking to another girl. Those moments didn’t last very long, but it affected you more than you liked to admit. Those moments made you not want to be just the best friend, which contrasted your comfort of staying where you were.

The blue highlights in his hair glimmered silver as the sunlight hit it. You didn’t like how gorgeous he looked in the moment, lips upturned in a small smile, eyes trained on her. You were fine with being just his best friend, you were fine with it. You liked the constant.

You made your way back home yourself, a sort of fear starting to creep in, which was extremely uncalled for. You didn’t like change, you didn’t, but that grain that had rooted in you, that said you wanted more, defied it. The smallest things were different, your wants, his hair.

Things were starting to change.

“FUCKING HELL” 

You cursed loudly, hopping about the place like a mad woman on one foot. Pain shot up your left leg as you hissed an assortment of curse words at it. 

This was your fault of course, you had quite literally caused your own pain. You had, very gracefully might I add, dropped a very heavy book on your foot and was now jumping around in pain while you tried to feng shui the fuck out of your room.  

Of course this happened to you, with your shitty luck. 

And in your pain, you don’t see Taeyong crawl into your room, one that you’re actively trying to escape at the moment, through your open window. He climbs through, panic in his eyes until they fall upon you, who’s holding her foot with a pained expression on her face.

“What the fuck- are you okay?” 

He stared at you, bewildered at your current state.

“It takes literally no brain cells to figure out that I AM NOT!” Your voice gets louder with every word, and you give up trying to get out, collapsing on your bed and muttering a slew of ‘ows’.

“Geez okay,” he said, sitting next to you, “What happened?” “I dropped a book on my foot,” your face heated up as you realized how idiotic that sounded, but pointed to the damn thing that laid of the floor anyways. It was a hardcover, for god's sake.

“Oh my god you fucking dumbass,” he snorted, pressing his lips together to stop himself from laughing. You glared at him, “I would throw it at you if I could walk.”

“Thanks Y/n, always making me feel safe.”

He got to his feet, “Wait I’ll get ice.”

Walking out, he opened your freezer, he took out the ice pack, eyeing the ice cream that sat there and promising himself he would bully you into letting him have it later, before returning and crouching down.

“Where does it hurt?”

You thrusted your sock clad foot out in his direction, before wincing in pain. He clicked his tongue, pushing your foot gently away from his face, “Yeah no shit Sherlock I mean what part?”

You leaned forward, palming the top of your foot lightly and he nods, coming closer. You moved your face away, suddenly aware of the proximity. You wondered why he was doing this, when you could easily do it yourself. Well, the icing you could, not the going to the kitchen and getting it.

“Better?”

“It’s been like, two minutes- Ow!” He scowled at your ungratefulness, pressing the ice pack into the injured area. You yelped in pain, retracting your leg and pulling your knee up to your chest.

“You’re supposed to take care of me, not injure me further??” You whine, pouting in indignance at him. 

“Eat dirt.”

Huffing, you roll your eyes, taking the ice pack from him, “You’ll break my foot at this rate.” Taeyong got to his feet, rolling his eyes and dusting his hands off each other. You looked up at him, noting how his eyes were already trained on you, the previous teasing tone gone from his voice as he asked you. “You’ll be alright? I have an assignment to finish.”

You nodded, assuring him you’d be fine. This time however, he didn’t go back through the window, much to your surprise. Instead, he walked out your room door and down the stairs and entered his house, the civil way.

And you couldn’t, for the life of you, figure out why until you walked to your window, only to see him eating an ice lolly that looked very much like the one you had in your refrigerator, almost suspiciously so.

“LEE TAEYONG-”

vi] ryunjin’s killer driving skills. no seriously

“Oh we’re going to die,” Doyoung complained, slumping in the backseat. Ryunjin rolled her eyes, shaking her hand in his face as if she was swatting a fly, before turning back to the wheel and starting the car. 

“Dramatic bitch,” she muttered dryly, and he glared at her. You giggled at the two, leaning to your right where Taeyong sat, with his arm around you. Honestly, it made you feel safer, because Ryunjin’s driving was pretty close to lethal.

“Wait!” Doyoung opens the door, and sits in the passenger seat. “For the airbags,” he explained, “So if she drives into a curb I’ll live.”

You scooted away from Taeyong, pulling at the seat belt and strapping it over yourself. He frowned at the loss of your figure pressed up against him, the loss of the warmth you provided, but said nothing, shifting in his seat and resting his arm on the side rests of the doors.

Ryunjin pulls out slowly, and suddenly the car jerks. Your breath caught in your throat as you used your hands as leverage, holding onto the behind of the passenger seat. Not even out of the parking lot, and you knew the ride wasn’t going to be a particularly smooth one.

Doyoung however, yelped, clutching onto the overhead grab handle. His and Ryunjin bickering resurfaced. He didn’t look all that intimidating glaring at her, more like a rabbit if you were being honest.

“Taeyong, for the love of god and my life, can you please drive?” He asked the man sitting next to you, who shrugged, ready to take over, but Ryunjin protested, “Hey this is my car! I get to decide who drives!”

“Yes, so choose someone other than yourself so your car doesn’t take another trip to the service center.”

“Another?” You snickered, “You’ve had it for two months Ryu.”

“Jazzy just needed a few touch ups, Bunny boy here is exaggerating, ever considered switching majors to theatre? Would be much more interesting than-” she paused, making a gagging sound and shuddering dramatically, “Accounting.”

“Fuck off.”

You laugh at their childish banter, as Doyoung insisted she choose another person to drive. She looked up in the rear view mirror, and her gaze fell onto you. Your own eyes widened as you shook your head vigorously, “Oh hell no.”

“You have a license.”

“One that lasts for twenty years too,” Taeyong quipped and you sent him a withering glare. He shrugged in response, offering you a shit eating grin. 

Bastard.

“I can’t drive,” you clarified, “I suck, I’m worse than Ryunjin.”

“Hey!”

The four of you were going to a party, hosted by the Weishen frat, who supposedly held the best parties. Ryunjin had suggested that you go together, but you hadn’t realized she meant in her car(which she had named Jazzy) while she drove. In the end, Doyoung himself ended up driving, and you made it to the frat house about fifteen minutes later, a little late, but fashionably so. 

You were wearing one of Taeyong’s shirts, tucked into your skirt and boots that Yeri had gotten you for your birthday. You didn’t wear much makeup since it was a pain to get off after a party when all you wanted to do was crash, just a little eyeshadow to accentuate the shape of your eyes.

The frat is packed with too many people for you to even recognize anybody. The air was hot, and you instantly wanted to be back outside, gravitating towards Taeyong until your arms were brushing against each other. 

But you didn’t get the chance to loop your hands together and stick to him, because Yeri popped into view, dragging you away and into the crowd before you could even say anything. Come to think of it, you probably didn’t have a say in it in the first place.

You spot your ex, Sicheng off to the side, talking to some girl. He looked up and waved at you with a smile, which you returned easily. The two of you were still friends, breaking up on mutual terms with no lingering bitterness. In fact, you still sometimes took his math homework, since you were hopeless at the subject and more often than not, Doyoung refused to help you.

Your friend handed you a drink, rum and coke you think it was, and mumbled something about a cute guy before disappearing. Typical. She uproots you from where you were comfortable only to abandon you later.

Standing awkwardly off to the side, you sip at your drink, letting the burning liquid trickle down your throat. There’s barely any alcohol in it, thank god, and you finish the cup in a few minutes, placing it down and trying to find a familiar face.

The music pounded through the house, the low beat making it seem as if the entire place was shaking under your feet. Oh god, maybe you should get drunk, because right now you were starting to get dizzy.

Passing the main crowd, you walked to the back, hoping you wouldn’t see anyone fucking out in the open and end up scarred for life. It had happened once before in your freshman year and it was traumatic. 

Well, ‘fucking’ was a little dramatic, but his hand shouldn’t have been there, out in the hallway, you were sure of that much.

The other room was also pretty crowded, but a little more breathable as you spotted Yeji and Ryunjin talking together with a freshman- Yuna, you think her name is. You walked over, flashing the youngest girl a smile and took Yejis drink out of her hand to take a sip.

Hyunjun walked over, slinging an arm around Yeji, his twin sister, and smiled, “We’re playing a game, coming?” “I assume it includes drinking?”

He grinned unabashedly, cocking his head to the side, “Coming girls?”

Yeji elbowed him, getting to her feet and taking her drink back from you. Two minutes later, you’re standing with other people, finding your way back to Taeyong as he stood beside you, while Yukhei held the alcohol.

And that was how you got yourself roped into a drinking game!

Ten, sat in the middle, lips curling up when he saw you and Taeyong, almost mischievously so as he handed you a ball, and Taeyong another.

“Let’s put the lovers against each other, hmm?”

His voice was teasing, you knew he wasn’t serious but it affected you anyways. Taeyong on the other hand, laughed along, steadying himself against the table. You looked away and down at your feet, as he led you to the opposite side of the table.

Ten red solo cups sat in a triangle formation on each end of the table. Ten stood beside you, and you figured he was now your teammate in the game of beer pong.

Taeyong took his turn first, and unfortunately for you, he had a lucky aim and it fell straight into the cup. You grumbled, knowing that now you had to drink the beer in it. Picking it up, you took a sip, before pulling a face.

“This sucks.”

“The fact you lost or the beer,” Taeyong asked with a smirk and you glared at him, taking another sip just to spite him. It was only half full thank god (because of an unfortunate incident from when all cups were full and people had to deal with a very drunk Hendery) so you finished it, keeping it to the side and throwing your own ball.

Yours got in as well, much to your relief, and you grinned at Taeyong, who now had to drink it. Taking the ball out, he frowned at it, before throwing you a cocky grin. You narrowed your eyes.

“Don’t say it.”

“Fine fine,” he said, swallowing the inevitable sex joke he was going to make and drank the beer. And that was when he had his very own kombucha girl moment, eyes widening for a moment as if it was good, before his expression melted into a disgusted frown. “Told you it sucks,” you shrugged, and Yukehi mumbled something about it being a cheap brand of beer, but Taeyong paid no heed as he placed the cup down. “Suck like-”

“I swear to god-”

vii] beat the devil out of it

Taeyong was a pretty good artist, he sketched from time to time, to keep himself occupied. One of the walls in his rooms was covered in doodles he did when he was sixteen. Granted, they were slightly messy, and probably not perfect at all, but he could do it.

However, he seemed to forget that you were not like him. The two of you were similar in many, many ways, but artistry wasn’t one of them. 

So when he suggested the two of you try and follow a Bob Ross tutorial, you were pretty skeptical, but agreed anyway. Couldn’t have been that bad, right? Well, right! Until of course you hit your roadblock.

The thing about Bob Ross was his amazing voice, which was somehow aesthetic. It was so soothing and therapeutic that you could listen to him all day. And he was such a precious soul in all honesty, talking about little random things in his life and somehow making it exciting.

The next time someone needed therapy, or just some me time, you’d suggest the Joy Of Painting. There were several seasons, enough to keep you occupied for a long, long time.

But you were indulging so much in the joy part, that you forgot about the painting bit. He gave you so much joy that when you glanced over at Taeyong’s canvas, you were hit with the opposite of Joy: distress.

He had already finished with the mountains, which raised questions. How the fuck did he do it? The two of you didn’t even have a palette knife! Goodness gracious, he was already adding the frost.

So you, in your alarm, decided to pick up your pace, realizing all you had done was the background, a light blue wash over the titanium white. The next step? The happy little clouds.

Except your clouds looked anything but happy. 

They were the definition of sad, they were chunky and nothing like Bob’s. Frustrated and tired, you gave up, placing your brushes down and settled for watching your best friend. He was focused on his piece, which was coming in together much better than yours had.

All you had left to do was beat the devil out of the brush, and that was exactly what you did, hitting the brush back and forth aggressively on the easel, until you caught Taeyong’s attention, who stared at you in mild horror.

“Are you okay-?”

“I’m doing the only thing I can do because I gave up,” you explained, and kept the poor beat up brush to the side, “I’ll just watch you or something.”

“Sitting there I might as well paint you,” he said with a smirk, “You’re prettier than the scenery.” 

The flirting sent heat to your face as you stared at him baffled before shaking it off and getting to your feet, “Aha! Lee Taeyong thinks I’m beautiful!” Placing a hand on your hip, you struck a pose, puckering your lips.

He frowned, “I take it back, you’re the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen.”

You gasped, “Rude.” Muttering this under your breath, you regained the confidence and struck a  pose, “Paint me like one of your french girls.”

And it was Taeyongs turn to stare at you in bewilderment, a flushed look on his face. His cheeks glowed red as he stared at you before looking away, and clearing his throat, “Uh-you know what that means right?”

You blinked, “What?” “In the movie that means she wants him to draw her naked.”

You coughed, “The fuck? Dude I was just going to get a baguette.”

The two of you burst into a fit of nervous giggles, attempting to dissipate the tension in the room after that.

That night you make sure to rewatch Titanic.

~ Taeyong was pretty protective of his friends, it was just a quality he possessed. He liked taking care of things, it was in his nature, from the little crawfish in his room to his best friend that happened to be you.

You who was currently sitting on your desk, head resting on the top of the table, fast asleep. Your laptop screen had blackened, forgotten about in the midst of his slumber. It was about three in the morning, and he had seen that your light was on, so climbed into your room only to find you in your current state.

And yes, he was concerned. He knew what happened to you everytime you overworked yourself, you would fall sick and then demand take out. He wanted to avoid that all together, not the getting taking out part, but the falling sick part.

Lately he had observed your late night sessions were increasing, often he would look over from his screen to see your light shining with your silhouette hunched over your desk, or you walking about your room with a book in your hand. 

Sure, midterms were coming up and it was essential that you studied, but he wanted to you avoid exhausting yourself, and so today he had decided to put an end to the late night saga (even though it was three in the morning) and was going to force you to sleep.

Except when he climbed into your room, he found you asleep anyway.

Sighing, Taeyong walked over and pulled you up as gently as possible, until you were snugly in his arms bridal style. Your hair fell over your face messily, lips set in a small, sleepy pout as your head rested against his chest.

He looked at you, before snapping out of it and shaking his head. He had always known you were pretty, ever since your sweet sixteen when you came down the stairs of your house in that pretty dress your mother had gotten you for the occasion. 

And the thing was, he had never thought of you that way, you were his best friend, he had seen you cry and fall over and run into walls as a kid, but in that moment, he saw you as he would see anyone else.

Yes, he teased you about being the ugliest person alive, but those type of snarky comments would only follow him complimenting you, just to see the surprise and shock on your face, even if i was just for a moment, And then the teasing would follow when you would make a narcissistic comment.

But there were moments, and they were very brief, but they were there. They were when he didn’t even have the courage to tell you how beautiful he thought you were. In those moments he would force himself to snap out of it, because it was dangerous.

He carried you to your bed, placing you carefully down on it and covering you with your blanket. Only halfway though, you hated being completely under it.

It was dangerous because you were his best friend, and Taeyong was careful. Very careful. Sure, the two of you had those moments when you playfully flirted with each other, but that was it.

 He looked at you, really looked at you and let himself think. What if you weren’t his best friend? What if those complications didn’t exist? What if you were simply a girl and a boy who met in college and were friends. What if you were more?

Licking his lips, Taeyong leaned forward and kissed your forehead, before getting to his feet and walking to your desk to shut your laptop down for you. Dragging his index finger across the touchpad, the screen sprung back to life and he was met with an empty google document, with the title reading: What is your perception of Love?

What if you were more?

Quickly shutting your laptop down, Taeyong decided he liked the idea of that.

viii] honey, i’m hooomeeee!

Midterms flew by and before you knew it, it was your winter break.

Taeyong and you went back home together. You always did, for spring break and winter break. 

The world had placed the two of you together and it was destined to stay that way forever, not that you minded. It was way less daunting going home alone and every time you did it, the two of you would usually visit the places you used to go to.

Getting out of the cab, you stretched your hands over your head. You were standing on the pathway of your childhood home, looking at the structure before turning back and getting your suitcases from behind. Taeyong took his own suitcase out, standing next to you.

His house was a little further away, so the two of you decided to stop by your place first. Your parents loved him, so there was no thought needed in the decision. You knocked on the door, waiting for your mother to emerge.

You missed your family when you were at college, but considered yourself extremely lucky because you weren’t completely alone in your freshman year, you had him right beside you. 

And she did, opening the door and exclaiming happily at the sight of you and Taeyong and launching straight into her motherly discourse, asking if the two of you had been eating properly, how midterms went, and if you were sleeping enough. You chose to avoid the last question expertly, elbowing Taeyong when he tried to expose you.

He wasn’t happy about it, but shut up for your sake, munching on the cookie in silence.

A few moments later you found yourself sitting on the kitchen island, suitcases still by the entrance and a plate of christmas cookies in front of you. It was a nice change from the usual cup noodles and cereal.

Biting the cookie, you savored the frosting on top, while Taeyong sat beside you. Your mother smiled at the two of you, pushing a cup full of milk for you to dip the cookies into.

“Shouldn’t you go home dear?” She asked Taeyong who nodded, “Yeah, I’ll be going now., Thanks Auntie.” Your mother smiled at this.

“Oh I’ll come with you, I wanna say hi to Mrs. Lee and your sister,” you said, pushing yourself off the stool. “I'll be back for dinner Mom.”

She nodded, kissing your cheek and holding Taeyongs face in her hands while she told him how handsome he was, even more so than the last time, before letting the two of you go.

His house was as warm and welcoming as ever, and almost like a repeat of events as she took the two of you in and took it up as her new purpose to feed you. You didn’t know if you’d be able to have dinner later at all.

His older sister came down and caught up with you, and you filled her in on Taeyong’s perpetual clumsiness. His mother asked him about his love life, to which he turned three different shades of red while informing her he was still very much single.

You knew she would pester him later about always having the same answer to the question, speculating that he had a secret girlfriend and didn’t want to tell her. He would then swear that didn’t, using your presence as backup.

And thus started your winter break, surrounded by loved ones. With cookies and milk, with going to buy presents and wrapping them.

And amongst all the chaos and noise, you realized that you were once again home, not physically in your apartment back at your campus, but right where you were. With the people you had grown up with, right next to your best friend.

~

“Holy shit they have a sale,” you said, making your way to the store that had big red signs that told you it had a sixty percent off sale. Taeyong let out a sigh, looking up to the ceiling of the mall and praying to whatever god that existed above that you wouldn’t go berserk.

You had gone to the local mall to buy gifts for everyone, but you kept getting distracted with the sales and stores you had spent so much time in when you were in highschool, and he had to keep dragging you out of them.

So far you had gotten a present for both your mothers and his sister, and now only for fathers were left. And each other, but you’d have to be a little more careful about that. Taeyong had just about everything, so you really had to rack your brains for a suitable gift. 

Running off in the direction of the store, Taeyong had no other choice than to follow you. He needed other friends, ones that don’t subject him to hours of torture as she runs around a store talking about what a good deal the shirt is going for, and then asking his opinion.

That was the most stressful part by far, everytime you asked him a question it felt like he was taking an exam. And there were three types of questions.

The first was when you tried something on and came out dressed in it. In his eyes, you looked good in anything (except that weird shade of yellow. You had once gotten a T-shirt in that shade and it was one of your most unfortunate expenditures.), but the thing was, he obviously couldn’t say that. That would be willingly feeding your already obnoxiously large ego, but then again, he couldn’t say you were hideous either, because you were pretty. 

He didn’t particularly like lying, so he had to think about his answer carefully. But if he took too much time, your lips would droop and a sad look would enter your eyes as you assumed it didn’t look good on you. Then he’d scramble to make up for it, saying it looked great. Of course it did, but then-

You get the idea.

The second type of question was when you asked him his opinion on something, whether it was a piece of clothing or a tit-bit you liked. If it was worth it. Taeyong loved seeing your excitement, those moments when your eyes would light up and you would pick up the object, talking about how cute it was. Usually he wouldn’t really see the appeal in a pen holder, but then again, you were practically in love with stationary. So he’d smile and mumble something about it being good quality or something along the lines of that and wait for it to get over.

The third type is when you asked him if he wanted something. If he liked it to the extent that he would get it himself. This was probably the hardest, because half the time Taeyong wasn’t paying attention to the object, but rather at you.  He would be looking at you so much that he forgot what he was supposed to do, resulting in pretty embarrassing half-assed answers.

He did his best.

You stopped in front of the glass panes, face contorting into a disappointed expression after you read the banners. Turning on your heel you faced him one again, hands on your hips.

“My life is a lie.”

He snorted at your statement, “Why?”

“It says sixty percent off, sure, but you have to read the fine print, which is really like the size of my thumb, so not that fine, but from afar you don’t really see it you know?” You rambled, “Anyways, upon closer inspection-”

“One salty glance.”

“-I found!” You glared at him, “That it says selective items, right here.” Brandishing your hand out, you placed your palm over the words so even if he tried to read it, it would be impossible. The situation was ironic, to say the least. “Selective items, it's a lie, Yongie, a lie.”

And with your eyebrows furrowed in that manner, and lips set in a disgruntled expression, Taeyong once again found himself not really paying attention to your words. You looked adorable in the moment, he couldn’t help it. However, as soon as the nickname you had for him slipped off your lips, he snapped out of it.

“How tragic,” he muttered dryly, and you rolled your eyes. You were hoping for a better reaction, definitely not a snarky comment. Huffing, you dragged him into the store anyways.

“Hey-why are we going inside? Thought you were too betrayed?”

“Yeah well they made up by having this pretty top on display, seriously this thing is gorgeous,” you gushed, feeling the sheer material in between your fingers.

It was an off white colour, a bit see through which explained the camisole underneath it. Flowers adorned its fabric, and it looked a little old timey, but beautiful nonetheless.  You picked it off the hanger, turning it over and inspecting it. 

Your fingers found the tag, and you lifted it into the direction of the light,  and the excited look in your eyes dissipated almost as fast as it had appeared. You chewed on your lower lip, putting it back. Taeyong watched you, “Hey what up? Thought you liked it?” “I’d have to give up college to get it,” you joked, but then took it back off the hanger, “Doesn’t mean I can’t try it right?”

And that was when Taeyong realized he was going to be subjected to question number one. He decided to start thinking about it while you were changing, so he had extra time. Good was fine right? Plain and simple, and a compliment. Maybe interesting would work, that word could be a compliment or an insult so you couldn’t hold him to anything.

No-fuck- it sounded too much like he was in a highschool debate. This was way too stressful for him. He leaned against the walls outside the dressing room, waiting for you to emerge. He’d just stick with good-

You came out wearing the shirt and all his thoughts turned scattered as he stared. No no no! This wasn’t how it was supposed to go! The silence always followed you looking disappointed. 

But with that gorgeous top on you, perfectly complimenting the black pleated skirt you had been wearing before, his throat went dry. He forgot how to english, in the words of Mark Lee (reprised this time.) because you looked so pretty standing in front of him, with your hair framing your face.

“So? You asked nervously and he blinked, thinking of something, anything he could say.

“You look pretty.”

What the fuck? Out of all the things he had thought of, that was what he said? Not that it was false or anything, but it was lame, so lmae oh god. Embarrassedly, Taeyong looked away and cleared his throat, but didn’t backtrack on the statement. “Really pretty.”

You flushed, looking down at your feet. In all honesty, you had been expecting a snarky comment or something of the sort, but his genuine tone had thrown you right off track. Butterflies (or moths. You didn’t know at this point) erupted in the pits of your stomach.

“Thank you,” you said finally with a smile on your face, before sighing, “I should get out of it now. Keep it back.”

“You aren’t getting it?” He asked, confusion clear on his face. You smiled sadly, shrugging, “I’d have to sell my kidney to get it,” you half joked, “and besides, I need to buy presents for others, not myself.”

You went to change out of it, emerging once again and hanging the top on the rack that held the clothes people tried on but didn’t get. Checking the time on your phone, you clicked your tongue, “Hey I’m going to go to that makeup store to get that lipstick my mother has been talking about, meet you at The Waffle House in ten minutes?”

He nodded, and you went off to do your bit of shopping. He turned back to the rack, slipping the top of and looking at it. 

Christmas was the season of giving and the season of joy. You were right when you said you had to be buying gifts for others and not yourself. It was about giving, not taking, and Taeyong smiled, because with that logic, there was no reason why he couldn’t get it for you, was there?

ix] merry christmas, idiot

You awoke on Christmas morning solely because of the smell of freshly fried bacon that wafted through the house. It raised you from the dead, that is your slumber and brought you down to the living room while you were still in your pyjamas.

When you were younger, you would get up at six in the morning on Christmas day, and proceed to wake everyone else up with you, but over the years as you had grown older, the prospect of gifts had become much less appealing and the idea of sleeping in had become much more. Thus, you had caught up on some much needed sleep, waking up at ten in the morning instead.

Emerging into the room, you sat by the kitchen island as your mother slid a plate filled with assorted breakfast foods as she wished you a Merry Christmas. Breakfast was a quick affair and soon you were sitting by the tree with your family.

Your mother loved the lipsticks you had gotten her, along with the baking tins you had bought. Your father was pleased with the leather wallet you had bought for him, saying something about his old one practically falling apart.

Your parents had gotten you some journals, because they knew you liked to write. After thanking them for it, you went back up to your childhood room, placing it on your desk and opening your closet. 

From behind all the clothes sat a present that had been wrapped neatly, you had even put a bow on top for shits and giggles. It was rectangular in shape, not small but neither was it huge. Taking out a card, you stuck it on, writing Taeyong’s name on it as neatly as you could and placing it to the side.

After you had changed into something more presentable, you put the present in a plain white bag and walked back downstairs. 

“Hey Mom I’m-” “Going to the Lee’s?” She smiled, giving you a knowing look. You returned the smile sheepishly, nodding, “Yeah I’ll be back later.”

“Wouldn’t be surprised if you didn’t,” she said truthfully, “You practically lived there when you were younger anyways, you’re more their daughter than ours, come to think of it, we should adopt Taeyong.”

You rolled your eyes, walking out of your house and to his. It was a route you knew at the back of your hand, even if you didn’t travel it everyday anymore. Knocking on the door, you took a step back, playing with the paper handles of the bag. You hoped he’d like what you got him.

Taeyong opened the door, a smile stretching out on his lips when he saw you. He wore an ugly Christmas sweater, one so obnoxious it even had little led lights on it. You walked straight into his arms and he hugged you back.

“Coming in?” He asked into your hair and you nodded, walking into his own living room. You knew exactly what would unfold now, since you had spent so many winter holidays in this house. His mother would come out with hot chocolate with a candy cane dipped into it, his sister would complain about how she got the ugliest sweater and his father laughing along.

“Honey! Try this would you? Taeyong never gives me a proper review,” he complained, shoving a plate with a piece of brownie on it. Taeyong protested at this accusation and you laughed, taking a bite, humming in approval.

“As always, it’s great Mrs. Lee, I like the chopped walnuts.”

“Bless you child, now run off.” She shooed you away and you laughed, following your best friend up to his room. 

It was the same, you didn’t know why this surprised you everytime you acknowledged it. His ceiling still had those glow in the dark stars you had helped him stick on when the two of you were twelve, his bed sheet was still that stupid Lightning Mcqueen themed one. Sitting down on it, he disappeared back downstairs and came back up with a present, handing it to you with a bright smile on his face.

It was soft, and you peeled off the wrapping paper he had messily taped around it, and grinned. 

You could already see the red and green of the ugly sweater and let out a giggle, “Hey it's the same as yours-” “Exactly, now we’ll both walk around looking like idiots.” He said this with a straight face that made you crack a smile, “The only idiot around here is you.”

“That is not correct.” 

You snorted at his response which referred to the vine, and cleared your throat. You opened the sweater out to put it on, but something else fell out from inside it, and onto your lap. It was off white, and had a very familiar floral pattern..

Your eyes widened as you picked it up, fingers curling around the material as you stared at it, before looking back at him. “You-”

“Yep,” he grinned, eyes awaiting for your full reaction. This idiot had gotten you that top you had wanted but didn’t get for you. Dropping it you practically leaped into his embrace, arms around his neck.

“Thank you,” you whispered and he chuckled, hands around your waist as he held you up, fingers pressing into the small of your back. “You're welcome, dumbass.”

Pulling away, you let out an excited breath, jumping slightly and remembering that your own present for him existed, and you picked up the white paper bag that had been sitting by your side and handing it to him.

He eyed his present, eyes looking like boba pearls as he opened it, taking out the rectangular box that you had wrapped in obnoxious glitter red wrapping paper. You had carefully taken off his messy wrappy, whereas he just tore yours off, eager to see what you had gotten him.

“It’s white,” he said and you rolled your eyes, “Turn it around dumbass.”

He turned it around in his hands and looked at it, “It’s a miniature.”

“Look closer,” you said, the excited smile on your face growing as realization set in onto his. “It’s two houses with adjoining roofs.” He said, sounding almost dumbfounded, “Holy shit its us!” You nodded, “I scoured Amazon for it,” you filled him in, “I was thinking we could build it together one day?”

“Absolutely, oh my god once it's all made I’ll keep it on the chest of drawers in my room,” you were relieved he liked it. You liked seeing joy in his face, it made your heart flip flop. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer, burying his face in the crook of your neck.

“Merry Christmas Y/n.” You sighed contentedly.

“Merry Christmas, idiot.”

~

It was a little past midnight, Christmas was over but not entirely. It may have been the twenty-sixth, but that didn’t stop your little tradition from playing out.

However, you expected a text first, not the idiot throwing a knock at your window. Scrambling to it, you glared at him opening the window.

“Literally what the fuck are you tryign to do?” You hissed, and he rolled his eyes, climbing into your room from the window sill and dusting down his pants. “Getting into your room, duh?”

“You climbed all the way up?” You stared at him in bewilderment and he nodded. “You should have just texted me and I would’ve opened the door for you? What if you fell off and died?”

“Love the faith you have in me.”

You huffed, pulling him inside and to your bed, grumbling about him under your breath. He could’ve just sent you a text and you would’ve opened the door without waking anyone in your family up, but no, of course he decided to climb up to your window.

“So,” he said, sitting next to you, “Which movie are we watching? Not home alone this time, we’ve watched that movie five times now.”

“It’s a sentimental tradition, Yongie.”

“It is not a Merry Christmas anymore, ya filthy animal.”

“Never do that again.”

He grinned, shooting you finger guns. Snorting, you thought of what else you could watch with him this time. Every night after Christmas, the two of you would watch a movie together, ever since you were just fifteen. For the past five years, you had watched Home Alone and its different movies, but this time since Taeyong seemed to be against this idea, you just had to find a bad movie to turture him with. 

It was only fair, since he was apparently ‘bored’ of home alone. What a disgrace.

The idea formed in your head, and you smirked turning to him and hooking your arm around his, “What do you think about sparkly boyfriends and dumb female protaginists?”

He frowned, furrowing his eyebrows in thought as he processed your statement, before his eyes widened and he shook his head violently, “Oh hell no.”

“Oh hell yes.”

Two hours later, you had finished watching the world's worst movie, Twilight, and was left in a mixture of confusion and unidentified emotions. It was about two-thirty in the morning, and it was far too late to think about how bad it was, or analyze it.

Taeyong however, in a burst of righteous indignation over the fact you had made him watch it, didn’t care about the time, and was ready to psycho-analyze it.  

“Bella said she doesn’t like cold things, okay fair, so why the fuck is she dating a cold blooded vampire boyfriend? And why the fuck does he sparkle? Aren’t vampires supposed to burn in the sun-”

“Shhh,” you shushed him, a hand on his head as you patted down his hair in an attempt to comfort him. “It’s okay.”

He glared at you, “And he’s such a shitty boyfriend? Who watches their girlfriend sleep? Even before he’s her boyfriend???”

He sounded so genuinely distressed that you were almost amused. Almost, because it was far too late to show a display of any human emotion. Hey, maybe you were a vampire.

“Yes yes, I’m sure you’d make a stellar boyfriend, much better than Edward,” you mumbled, shutting your laptop. Taeyong rolled his eyes, “Damn right I would, I wouldn’t watch my girlfriend sleeping that’s for sure.”

“That's because you’d be too busy playing League.”

“First of all, I’d tuck her in,” he continued, choosing to ignore your quip and taking your laptop from you, “And I’d be human.” He must have seen the tired look in your eyes, before he placed the laptop on your old desk, pulling you into his arms. You didn’t object, yawning softly.

You looked up for a moment at your best friend, only to realize the close proximity between your faces. Heat rose to your face, and you looked back down at your fingers, playing with them.

“And I’d tell her how much I love her,” he said, lopping his arms around you. “And make sure she always knows it.”

You hummed sleepily, “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he whispered, but you’re gone, lost to the world of sleep. You slumber with one thought in your mind, a thought you had never let yourself think about before, but in your tired state, your mind didn’t listen to reason.

You go to sleep wondering what type of boyfriend Taeyong would be like.

Noticing you had passed out, he chuckled softly, bringing the blanket over the two of you. Your hair smelled nice, it was that strawberry scented shampoo you really liked. You were warm against him. 

He sighed, leaning against the wall. His gift to you sat on your desk, placed on top of its wrapping paper. It was late and his adrenaline from complaining about Edward Cullen and his terrible skills as a boyfriend, while flaunting his own was wearing off.

And the next morning when your mother found you snuggled in his arms, even though he really wasn’t supposed to be there, she just smiled.

x] i wanna dye (my hair) It was the new year, a new semester began and you were already drowning in your classes, not to mention the fact that you barely wrote anything for your article.

“Can you believe it’s our last semester as juniors?” Taeyong asked, sitting up in the chair and handing you the bowl. You stared at it, almost scared. “Yeah- Are you sure you wanna do this dude?”

He nodded confidently, “I want a change.” You hated change, but obliged, using the blush to mix the bleach around.

He had come in one Tuesday morning declaring that he wanted to dye his hair, going all blond this time. It was time to say goodbye to the highlights. And while you were sure it would look great on him (everything did) but the way he wanted to dye it was what was questionable.

He wanted you to do it.

At first, you had stoutly denied his request, you didn’t want to mess up his hair, but after a lot of persuading and receiving puppy eyes from him all day, you finally relented. After you had done so, he continued to justify his decision, saying some nonsense about how getting just highlights was extremely expensive and he was broke.

And so you spent the next few days after that stalking Brad Mondo’s youtube channel to the point where it was probably unhealthy in all honesty. You could spout his signature lines in your sleep at this point.

The things you did for this idiot.

And following his instructions, you told Taeyong to not wash his hair for the days leading up to when you had to dye it, in the hopes of the natural oils preventing his hair from completely dying. Granted, hair was just a bunch of dead cells anyways.

“I can’t start from the roots since those lighten faster,” you said, eyeing his mop of hair. Taeyong nodded along as if he understood, waiting for you to take your first step, but he could tell you were nervous, so naturally, he started talking to calm those nerves.

“Just another year and then we’re out of here.”

“Yeah- i got that internship actually,” you said, and he beamed, “That's great! When your articles are on the first page, I’ll make sure to embarrass you and boast about our friendship.

You shuddered dramatically at the thought, looking at the table and double checking if he had gotten everything. “Hey where's the toner?”

“Isn’t that just purple conditioner?”

“Yeah, do you have it?” Your nose scrunched up in question and he thought you were adorable. Taeyong shook his head, “I don’t think so, forgot about it, I’ll get it sometime next week.”

You blinked, “Do you want to walk around with bright orangey-yellow hair?”

“No but-”

“Then we can’t do this today,” you declared, happy to find a way out of it. He shook his head, “No, I can deal with a few looks, I get them everyday.”

You snorted, “People look at you because you’re attractive, not because your hair is a mess.”

His pretty crimson lips curled up at the sides into a smirk. He rested his chin on the palm of his hand as he looked at you, you wanted to slap that cocky grin right off his face.”Oh? So you think I’m attractive huh?”

He raised an eyebrow at you and you flushed, “No, you’re the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen.”

“I thought I was attractive??”

You turned away, visibly taking greater interest in mixing the bleach further and grumbling under your breath. Damn him and his ways of getting you flustered. It didn’t happen very often though, but when it did, he knew the effect he had on you, that fucker.

“I hate you,” you huffed out and his smirk only grew, “You say that when you’re smiling?”

Damnit.

You were smiling, and you did your best to push it down, but after failing, the two of you burst into laughter as you placed the bowl down, leaning against the table. It was so easy being with Taeyong. 

“Now that we’ve established I’m a looker-ow! Okay sorry!” He said, rubbing his arm where you had playfully hit him, “Can we start?”

You hesitated, “Are you sure you want me to do this? It’s a big decision.” “I can always just dye it back you know?”

“Yeah but,” you chewed on your bottom lip, looking at him. Another change? So much was changing already, you were going to be seniors soon, your internship would start, Yeji was graduating, fucking hell, it was the new year already! Christmas had whizzed by faster than you thought it could.

“I don’t know,” you shrugged, “I just- it seems kind of sudden you know? And if you keep dying your hair you’ll fry it all.”

He leaned back in his chair, mulling over this, “Yeah it is kind of sudden.”

You nodded, sighing and sitting at the end of the table, being careful not to knock anything over. You were glad he was considering your thoughts. “Plus, I really like the blue highlights and dark hair you have going right now.”

“You do?” He asked and you nodded, grinning, “For your fragile ego, I’ll even say it’s attractive.”

“Fragile- I’m going to ignore that,” he said, glaring at you, “Alright, maybe I’ll dye it some other time then.” You nodded, “Right, I mean since you have some dye in your hair already, you might get some weird tones.”

“Yeah okay, that's enough Brad Mondo for you.”

~

You shifted in your seat watching one of the seniors, Taeil you thought his name was, take his picture with the scroll and shake hands, before walking off stage. Another called up and the same thing happened.

“That’s gonna be us in a year,” Taeyong whispered and you nodded, then proceeded to shush him, “Yeji’s turn.”

Your friend walked up on stage in her cape and hat. You leaned forward, taking your phone out like an obnoxious parent and proceeding to zoom in as much as possible on her, clicking about twenty pictures. 

“She looks scared,” you snorted and Taeyong sighed, “Please stop taking pictures.”

He sounded embarrassed of you and your shenanigans, which was absolutely ridiculous. There was nothing to be embarrassed about, you were simply being a supportive friend and surrogate younger sister.

Ryunjin waved her hands wildly to the left and Yeji sent a subtle glare to the two of you, but that didn’t dampen your spirits. Your best friend slumped in his seat, his denim jacket that matched his hair, crinkling. He looked like he wanted to be anywhere but by your side at that moment.

His fingers curled out of your hand, taking it in his and pulling you back into your seat. You tried not to think about how your hand fit perfectly into his, or how warm his was, or the gentleness in his voice when he spoke.

“You’ll fall off,” he said, “Sit down, Yeji’s turn is over.”

Nodding, you settled back into your seat, watching the rest of the graduation ceremony with little to no attention. You had no reason to, since you were mainly here for Yeji and Hyunjin, and maybe that cute senior- Yuta.

After it was done, the graduating batch threw their caps in the air and cheer erupted from the crowd. They were done. You smiled seeing Yeji walking up to you and Ryunjin and threw yourself at her.

“You’re done!” “I’m done!” She squealed, waving her cap around with a bright grin on her face, “Adios fuckers, I’m out of here!”

Taeyong put an arm around your shoulders and leaned onto your figure gently, “You gonna attend Jaehyuns party this friday?”

She nodded, “Yeah, last party for me and then I have to be a responsible adult”, she said, stressing on the two words and rolling her eyes, with a droll expression on her face. “But only after the party, and I’m definitely not going to be the sober friend this time.”

All three of you looked up at Taeyong, who blinked in alarm, “What?”

You looked up at him, a sweet smile on your face, “Yongieee-”

His eyes widened, “No-what? I’m not going to be the sober friend?!” “But you’re good at handling your alcohol,” you pouted. He sighed, “Yeah and you’re the lightweight.”

You gasped in offence, pulling away from the hug-stand situation the two of you had put yourselves in, raising your hand against your chest, “Uncalled for? Make it up to me by being the sober friend.”

Taeyong was just about to protest when Ryunjin came between the two of you, “Okay relax, geez, have your married couple arguments somewhere else.”

“Married couple?? As if I’d ever marry him,” you frowned, sticking your tongue out and him and he gave you a not so friendly finger, “Fuck you, you wish you could marry me.”

“Forget married,” Yeji said dryly, “They’re like five year olds.”

The two of you were still bickering while the girls decided to leave, and you only noticed they were gone after about fifteen minutes.

“Holy shit we scared them off.”

He nodded, scratching the back of his neck and clearing his throat, “Wanna head back?” Stuffing his hands in his pockets, he cocked his head to the side, to where his car was parked.

You agreed and walked to his car with him, sitting in the passenger's seat. Your junior year was almost over, time was running by before Taeyong could even get to his feet and begin walking. 

After your senior year, what would happen? Would the two of you still have your houses by each other? Would you still be as close? Would you go back home for Christmas, grocery shopping together? 

He knew things would definitely be different, but he didn’t really want them to just slip through his fingers. The thought of losing you amidst the chaos of graduating was very likely and it sent a bitter taste to his mouth. He wanted you to stay.

He hated the thought of you leaving.

xi] what if mini me and mini you..?? lol jk (unless…..??)

You  were wearing one of Taeyong’s hoodies, and it was pretty big on you. The end reached the mid of your thigh and it gave you sweater paws, and for the first few minutes you thought it was cute. Hey! You could now live out your dream of being an aesthetic girl on pinterest holding a book for show with those sweater paws! But after half an hour, you realized you had to keep pushing the sleeves up so you could help Taeyong build the miniature. It was getting pretty annoying, especially since you were handling glue and your fingers were already sticky.

Taeyong on the other hand was perfectly content with building it all on his own if it meant he could see you in that state. You looked absolutely adorable with your lips set in an indignant pout over those damn sleeves. You were sitting criss-cross opposite him on his room floor, with the miniature in the making between the two of you.

You had managed to get the walls of one of the houses upright and standing, and now was focusing on the roof. Taeyong applied the glue on the edges that had to be stuck onto the walls, before placing it carefully on top and lifting his fingers gently so as to not break the structure that the two of you had thirty minutes of your lives into.

You on the other hand, was trying to apply drops of clue on the little cardboard roof tiles that had come with it. They were tiny, and a pain to work with, but for the sake of it, you stuck it out.

You sighed exasperatedly as one of the pieces fell onto your palm and decided to stick there. Peeling it off, you looked up at the ceiling and to the window, noting that the roses were still alive, by some miracle.

“You are watering them!” You said, pleased with him. He nodded sheepishly, clapping his hands and dusting them off, “Okay, should we start with the roof tiles?”

You groaned, “I’ve added glue to like three, help me with them and we can do it as we go.”

He obliged, taking a handful of the darn things and the other bottle of glue, doing his best to squeeze out a precise drop on each one. You watched him lose patience over them much like you were doing so and it made you feel slightly better. At least you weren’t the only one suffering through it anymore.

Placing the first tile at the edge of the roof, you held your breath, praying it wouldn’t fall off and would stick. Thankfully, it did, and you went on to the next, placing it right beside the first and humming an idle tune as you did so.

He joined you, and soon there was a line of little cardboard tiles at the edge. His fingers occasionally brushed against yours, sending that stupid fluttery feeling to your stomach. 

You had come to the conclusion, after finishing half of the roof, that making miniatures was walking a fine line between pain in the ass and stressful and therapeutic.  With the amount of times Taeyong had caught you swearing at the inanimate structure, you were leaning towards the first.

“You know, sometimes I wonder how it would be if we all lived in a perfect world,” you said abruptly, “Just, nothing wrong you know? No writer's block, no exams, just staying right where we are.”

“You think it’s perfect where we are?” He asked, voice softer than you expected it to be.You nodded, “I like it the way things are, you know? Change makes shit volatile.”

He hummed in agreement, “Yeah.”

“That's why I write,” you continued, “If I can make it up and put it into words on a page, or even a document. Does it make it real in some sense? I don’t know, but in my mind, I guess it’s a sort of escape.”

You got to your feet with a sigh, “ Like sure, I’m a journalism major, so really my job is to write about facts but If I can write a perfect world, at least every time I write it I can forget the real one.”

He watched you speak, and got up himself to where you were standing, which was by the window.  Your eyes were trained on the roses, hands around yourself. “So what is your idea of a perfect world?” “Promise you won’t get offended?” “As long as it’s not something like ‘My lovely best friend does not exist’ then I’ll be fine.”

You laughed, nodding, “Well, you still have completely dark hair, without the highlights.” You started softly, looking up, “We’re still freshmen, Yeji isn’t moving away, and-” You hesitated, looking back down at your feet.

“And?” He prompted you to go on. There was not even a semblance of pressure in his voice, just curiosity. 

The ghost of the words lingered on your lips, but you couldn’t bring yourself to say it, it was too risky. In your perfect world, Taeyong would be yours. You glanced to your side to think of what you could say.

“And the roses wouldn’t have died,” you said, grinning teasingly, “These are new aren’t they?”

Taeyong looked scandalized, stuttering out an excuse, “What-why would you think that?” He laughed nervously. You raised an eyebrow and he sighed, “Fine, okay I got new ones so you wouldn’t give me your death glare for killing the first ones the second time,”

You giggled, glad to see that he seemingly believed your lie. “I’m not mad, it was kind of expected.”

“Hey!”

The conversation fell into a comfortable silence. He sighed, “Maybe that’s why people make miniatures, you know? Because it’s an easy process with a perfect outcome. Maybe they think their mini world can be their perfect one.”

You looked over to your miniature, only one house was made, the details still had to be added to it, but one could make out what it was supposed to be. You still had the other half to go and the placing of them together so it looked like the two of your houses.

“What if we just pretended that later on in life we moved in together so we don’t have to build the other house right away?” He asked, “That can be my perfect world.”

You cocked your head to the side in confusion, and he continued to explain, “You know, after graduation, if we can still stay together, we should move in together, we can have cereal anytime of the day with no one judging us.”

“Together,” you repeated, “That sounds really nice actually.”

“Yeah?”

And that's when you realize how close the two of you are, it’s too close. You could feel the breath of his words on you, and your cheeks felt impossibly hot. “Together,” you repeated again, stupidly almost as your eyes fell to his lips.

No, this was dangerous, it was stupid and wistful and-

“Can I?” His voice was just above a whisper and your breath hitched in your throat. You swallowed the lump in your throat, “Can you what?”

“I have a feeling you’ll slap me,” he said truthfully, licking his lips. Gathering whatever courage you had, you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in. “Only one way to find out then, right?”

You wanted to scream for sounding so nervous, for your voice being so shaky, but you couldn’t help it. He leaned forward and-

Lee Taeyong kissed you.

He was kissing you? He was kissing you, and your knees almost buckled, they would have if not for his hands falling on your waist and pulling you closer to him.

Your hands worked on their own accord, entangling in his hair as you kissed him back. His kisses were soft, deliberate. You didn’t quite know if it was real, or if you were dreaming. Maybe this was your writing, your imagination of having him.

It was definitely nothing like you had imagined it to be, but you didn’t mind. It was just a little clumsy, as if the two of you were still figuring out where you wanted to go with it.  You tugged slightly on the ends of his hair, pulling away only to press your lips back to his.

And despite it being your first kiss with him, you were falling and falling and falling. You had always been in love with Taeyong, but this was different wasn’t it? This just wasn’t your imagination, this was real. 

He pulled away, resting his forehead against yours. You felt warm, like there was a fire in your chest that was burning brightly and you didn't particularly want to put it out.

“I like the idea,” you said finally, “of being together after graduation. Of being together.”

He stayed silent, choosing to cup your face and pull you into another kiss instead of responding. The miniature on the floor lay long forgotten, the new roses in the mug sitting on the sill.

Things were changing once again, but this time you didn’t quite mind it.

xii] taeyong the sober boyfriend best friend

You found yourself back in Ryunjins car, this time without Doyoung’s presence. Instead, he had been replaced with Yeji, who looked equally as mortified as he had when he was subjected to her driving. 

“Please god, I’d like to live long enough for my last party,” she said, looking up at the top of the car. Ryunjin rolled her eyes, “We’ll be fine, I asked Taehyun to teach me how to drive better last week and it definitely went well.”

“That sophomore you have a crush on? Oh no wonder he looked so scandalized,” you quipped and Ryuinjin let out a sound of protest. Yeji threw her a grin, wiggling her eyebrows, “Oh?”

Ryunjin pressed on the accelerator, throwing the three of you in front. You let out a yelp in surprise, and Taeyong managed to catch you, fingers curling around your waist and pulling you into him. Shooting Ryunjin a dirty look, she just shrugged innocently and pulled out into the street.

“Bitch,” you muttered under your breath, leaning into Taeyong’s figure. 

Yeji would be moving in a couple weeks, which you weren't particularly looking forward to, but decided to shake those thoughts away. She was here now, wasn’t she? You would make the most of whatever little time you had left together.

In the end, Taeyong had been dragged along with the three of you and was resigned to the role of the sober buddy even after all his complaining. Hey, with him driving on the way home, at least it would be a smoother drive than it was currently.

Ryunjin almost drove into a curb.

Taeyong chuckled at your grumbling, “At least she’s making an attempt to drive, you won’t even get into the driver's seat.”

“Because I’ll kill someone.” “Pretty sure Ryu will do that sooner or later.”

“I can’t believe I thought you were on my side for a second,” she grumbled. You rolled your eyes, licking your lips. They were chapped, since it was still pretty cold out. Spring couldn’t come fast enough.

“Yeji, Chapstick,” you asked, and she fished through her bag, twisting around in her seat and handing it to you. Taking the cap off, you rubbed a little onto your finger and applied it to your lips, smacking them together. “Hey, this tastes nice.”

“Right? Yuna got it for me a few weeks ago,” she filled you in, “It’s strawberry flavoured.”

You hummed in acknowledgement, and Taeyong turned his head to you, whispering into your ear.

“Can’t wait to taste it when I kiss you.”

Heat rushed to your face as you flushed, digging your nails into his hand that was around you and glaring at him, “Shut up.”

He smirked teasingly, eyes dropping down to your lips, flustering you even further. Hissing at him under your breath, you turned away, focusing back on the road and Ryunjin’s terrible driving. 

You didn’t exactly know what you and Taeyong were at the moment, and while the label of ‘boyfriend’ hung loosely around the two of you, but it was foreign, it was heavy on your tongue and you didn’t quite know how to say it. ‘Best friend’ rolled off your tongue much easier, so that's what you said

The two of you were best friends, who just happened to have feelings for eac hother and maybe kissed sometimes. Best friends who didn’t see anyone else but each other. And there was nothing wrong with that concept. 

“And we’re here! See? Not dead, I take that as an accomplishment,” Ryunjin snapped you out of your thoughts. Yeji snorted, but opened her car door and got out. You did the same, pulling away from Taeyong’s figure and out onto the pavement, resisting the urge to get to your knees and kissing the ground, for managing to survive the ride.

Standing on the pathway that led up to the frat house's door, you turned to Taeyong, “Ready, sober buddy?” “Did you just friend-zone me?”

“Absolutely.”

He scowled at you and you gave him a sickly sweet smile, batting your eyelashes. Deciding to take advantage of your distracted state, he leaned forward, pressing his lips to yours for a chaste kiss.

Any retort you had and died onto his lips as you let out a surprised sound, but kissed him back, blinking when he pulled away. You wanted to slap that cocky grin off his face, embarrassment at the fact your friends had probably seen that taking over.

“Friend-zoning me now?” He asked innocently and you struggled for words. 

“Holy shit you two kissed!” Ryunjin said, gaping at Taeyong and you. Even Yeji looked dumbstruck, glancing at your best friend and then back at you, pressing her lips into a thin line.

“So how long?” “Not long,” you scrambled to assure her of the fact, “Maybe three days.”

“Fucking finally, I was scared I wouldn’t ever get to see the two of you together before I left,” she said, giving you a knowing look. You rolled your eyes, clearing your throat, “Should we go in?” “Yep!” Ryunjin nodded, beginning to walk to the door, “Come on girls! And the sober boyfriend!”

xiii] she loves me, he loves me not

Taeyong loved the idea of having you, and now that he did, he loved it even more.

Nothing really had changed, it was natural being with you, as you with him. It felt right. He knew everything about you, from your favorite colour to every lyric of your favorite song. He knew which food you hated the most, and your favorite book.

But being with you, he learned other things. He learned that you really like the back hugs he gave you, but never admitted it before. You giggled when he would kiss your cheek, and your competitive side would come out, determined to make him react the same way he made you do so.

Spring comes around, and it’s gorgeous. The flowers danced happily in the breeze, basking in their season. You crouched down, picking one of the fallen tulips up and smiling at it, twirling it between your hands and showing it to him.

Taeyong had taken you to a tulip garden for a date, much to your delight. You had been there with him once before and now you were back.

“Pretty,” he said, “Like you.”

You ignored his compliment, but he knew you had heard, grinning from ear to ear when you turned away from him. Today he was wearing a loose white shirt and jeans, with his camera slung around his neck. 

You on the other hand, was wearing the top he had gotten you for Christmas, and you fit in with the theme of the garden seamlessly. You almost looked like a nymph of some sort, breeze blowing through your hair gently and the sun shining down on the two of you. It felt like something out of a fairytale.

Click!

You snapped your head to where he was standing, only to see Taeyong holding his camera up to his eyes. Taking it down, he looked at the picture he had taken off you, giving you a cheeky grin. “Sorry, couldn’t resist.”

“You can keep it if I look good,” you walked over, peering over. The picture really was a nice one, the lighting was pretty and the flowers around you gave it a pop of colour.

Finding no fault with it, you took a step away, looking around, you spotted white tulips, walking over. “These are pretty.”

He hummed in agreement. You noticed some hyacinths to your side, much to your surprise, since it was a tulip garden. Taeyong was surprised at how fast you had recognized them, even he hadn’t recognized them.

“How do you know?” He asked and you shrugged, “Remember that article I’m writing?” He nodded.

“Well, I was researching about it and came across a story, greek mythology actually,” you started to explain. “About the god Apollo and his lover Hyacinthus.” And you began explaining the tale of the two lovers, from how Hyacinthus preferred Apollo to Zephyrus, the god of wind who also loved him.

You told him about how Apollow would take Hyacinthus on his sun chariot and let him experience things most mortals couldn’t, how they would do everything together. How they were together even till the last moment, when Zephyrus got jealous and let the wind manipulate Apollows disc and sent it straight to Hyacinthus, hitting him in the head and killing him.

“And Apollo was devastated, holding his dying lover in his arms,” you said, voice dropping to a whisper as you told the ends of that story. When you had read it for the first time, you had been angry, because they deserved a happy ending. They deserved it and it was ripped away from them.

“So he turned Hyacinthus into a flower, using his blood and eye colour, perpetualizing his spirit forever in a hyacinth.” You looked back up at Taeyong, who smiled crookedly, “I think that’s beautiful, tragic yeah, but beautiful.”

You rolled your eyes. Of course he’d find it beautiful. “What? You want your lover to make you into a flower when you die?”

“When I die I want to be remembered,” he said, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jeans, “And the language of flowers is the language of love.”

“Dude, that's french.”

“Same thing,” he shushed you and you giggled. He hands find yours, pulling you closer to him until you’re pressed up against him in a hug. “I think turning your lover into a flower is like showing the world you loved them even when they’re dead, you know?”

“Oh? I’m guessing you want to be turned into a flower now?” “That depends,” he winked at you, and you fake gagged. “Never do that again.”

“I’m just trying to live out my dream of being a smooth boyfriend.” You snorted, “Keep dreaming.”

He kissed your forehead, “Speaking of which, what flower would you make me into?” He asked, and you hummed in thought. “A rose, it’s always a rose for you.” It was the flower you had associated with him ever since you were a literal kid, and it wasn’t changing anything soon. “Like your scar.”

He was like the flower as well, fragile in some ways, strong in others. He was friendly and beautiful like it’s petals, but guarded at the same time, like the thorns that adorned its stalks. And roses symbolized grace and admiration, they meant love, which was something you definitely felt towards him.

“Hey, but like roses exist and Apollo made a whole new flower so I was wondering- Ow! Okay geez!”

~

It was about eleven thirty pm when Taeyong burst into your room and decided to make it his life’s new purpose to distract you.

You had finally sat down to write, having an inkling of what you could put down when he came about, eyes way too bright and a shit eating smile on his face. How were you supposed to type out a very important article for a project when he was right there?

Stupid pretty distracting boy.

Somehow you had gravitated further and further away from your desk, and to your bed, sitting with your laptop on your legs as you sat on Taeyong’s lap with his arms looped around your torso. 

“Oh,” you said tiredly, suddenly remembering something you had to ask him about, “Uh, I have a writing thing in a few weeks.” You said, rubbing your eye with your fist. “Could you come with me when I have to submit the story?”

“I thought you hadn’t written anything?”

“Oh yeah, It’s an old story, I’m submitting in hopes I get chosen for this writing project, they’re publishing the stories that are chosen in a book.”

“That’s great,” he said, rubbing your side comfortingly, “Of course I’ll be there”. You yawned, trying to focus your attention back onto your work, but Taeyong proved to be the one you captured all of it at the moment.

And it was so easy, giving into him that was, because your writer's block hadn’t left and really writing was becoming a pain. Any distraction was welcome but at the same time you couldn’t get distracted because you had so much to do! 

But when his lips brushed against your neck, that was the last straw.

At first, you were sure you could ignore him. Maybe it was just an accident while he was watching you work, surely he didn’t do it on purpose right? Couldn’t be-

And then you felt a very deliberately placed kiss at the side of your throat, and you froze, fingers stilling on your keyboard. It was soft, just pressing his lips against your neck before he moved them upwards and kissed you there.

Oh hell no.

You shut your laptop with a start, placing it to the side and attempting to get out of his hold. You could feel the cocky expression on his face without even having to turn around and look at it for yourself, and let out a small yelp when he pulled you back, turning you around so you were facing him.

“What happened?” He asked innocently and you couldn’t bring yourself to meet his eyes. His hands settle on your hips, pulling you closer until you’re forced to meet his half lidded gaze, “Going somewhere?”

You stuttered and he smirked, tugging you so close that you’re back on top of him, and his lips were back on your neck. He left open mouthed butterfly kisses up until your jaw, and your eyes fluttered shut, fingers fisting the material of his shirt.

Taeyong seemed to like your response, smirking against your skin. In contrast to what you were usually used to, these kisses were far from soft. They held a sort of desperation, and they felt scalding hot, nipping against your jaw. A whimper left you, and you felt as if you were going to melt right then and there in his arms.

If you weren’t already sitting down, you would’ve buckled from his kisses. They were utterly intoxicating, and you felt warm all over. He abandoned your neck, clicking his tongue as he looked up at you, suppressing a grin at the fucked out expression on your face, before leaning forward and slotting his lips between yours.

Your hands found his hair, tugging at the ends as gently as you could, kissing him back. Your kisses were innocent, just pecks, but this was far from that. You pulled him closer, legs around his waist.

His fingers curled around the hem of your shirt, before abandoning it all together, And you felt his hands- which were cold in comparison- graze your skin, thumb brushing against your waist in slow back and forth motions, and you felt a little dizzy but in the best way possible.

Your breathing was heavy as he finally pulled away, it felt like your lungs were on fire and probably so was your face. 

“Someone enjoyed that,” he teased, and you looked away, “Fuck you.” “I know you want to.”

You slapped him playfully, scowling, “I hate you.”

“No you don’t,” he said confidently, “You love me.”

Rolling your eyes, you yawned, blinking, “My article,” you said softly, looking at your now closed laptop that was kept off to the side. “You’re such a distraction I’m never letting you into my room while I’m working.”

“The reason I came was to stop you from working late, not makeout with you but that’s just the added bonus,” he said amusedly, “Come on, you should sleep.”

“But-”

“Nope, sleep with me.”

You gasped, heat rising to your face and yet you decided that taking a dig at his expense was far more important than your flustered state , “Scandalous!”

Even in the darkness of your room, you could see his face flush, which was ironic considering you were in his place a minute ago. “I didn’t-Not that- you know what? It’s late and I have no energy to defend myself from your twelve year old humour.”

And the two of you were back at best friend territory, laughing and joking with each other, the tension in the room dissipated almost immediately. Putting your stuff back, you decide to give into his pleading.

You go to bed in his arms, perfectly content.

~

Love is a finicky thing. It’s unpredictable, it’s volatile and confusing and sometimes so subtle you don’t know you’re in love until it’s too late. Sometimes you think you’re in love when you’re not.

Sometimes, in the words of Mavis from Hotel Transylvania, it could be a ‘zing’ where it just works. Where everything falls into place like puzzle pieces carefully fitted together to create a beautiful picture. At first you’re not sure what picture it is (unless you look at the puzzle box) but when it’s done, you’re proud of it.

Or maybe, sometimes it’s like puzzles that take time, with pieces that don’t fit together, and you can’t seem to figure it out.  Some pieces fit, but it's just barely half the image. Sometimes they fit and they don’t even make sense and it’s frustrating.

Sometimes, love lasts for a long time, sometimes forever. Maybe that's where the thought of soulmates erupted from, when two people stayed together for better and for worse. That was what marriage vows were made of, after all. When they managed to love each other through everything, the love never faded. 

But then there were those who loved and lost. Love could also be like a flame put out with water or the cold. Love can freeze to death, until that rush, that zing is gone and all that is left is a sad husk of what used to be there.

All that is left is memories.

Like water in a bottle that has been cooled in the refrigerator, but not to the point where it was frozen. When you slam the bottle on a flat counter, the pressure forces a seed to form at the top, and then the entire thing freezes. All it needed was that one little nudge.

Perhaps that's what love needed, just a little seed to spark something. 

But to be nudged, one had to take the first step. What if they were scared to do so? What if, even with that nudge it shatters and falls to pieces? What is sometimes, love was just destined to lose it’s spark? 

xiv] scaredy cat and a scared cat

Spring bleeded into Autumn and the fall semester sprung on the two of you, with the title of ‘senior’ under your belt. Pinks and Blues melted into reds and oranges, the world repainted itself, a new palette, a different story.

A new season portrayed on its canvas.

Holding your overpriced pumpkin spiced latte you had gotten from ye olde Starbucks on your way here, you looked to your side where Taeyong stood, a petrified expression on his face. You wished you had his camera with you so you could capture a perfect picture of his horror (oh the irony) in HD, but your phone would ultimately have to suffice. Taking it out with your free hand, you managed to snap a portrait, earning his attention. “Well that’s my new lockscreen,” you said with a smirk and he scowled at you, “You know, for blackmail purposes.”

“Demon spawn,” he grumbled under his breath, pulling at the edges of his jacket, “we’re not even inside and it’s already ten degrees colder, so this is definitely a sign we should turn around and go back-”

You snickered, “Are you scared?”

He puffed out his cheeks, which were dusted with a natural blush from what you assumed to be nerves. “I am not, just cautious.”

“You’re shitting your pants right now.”

He stuck his tongue out at you, very maturely indeed, and you did the same, before finishing off the remnants of your drink. It’s too festive for your taste, but you drink it every time anyway.

It was October, Halloween creeping up on everyone. Of course, the pumpkins were out, as was the atrocious use of pumpkin spice in every item on any menu you happened to come across. Capitalism at its finest.

“I don’t see why we have to do this,” he frowned, “It’s an abandoned house, which mind you, getting into would be trespassing. We’d be criminals, I’m too young and hot to go to prison!”

Rolling your eyes, you threw the disposable cup in one of the dustbins nearby, making sure to put it with the wet waste, “It’s called abandoned for a reason dumbass, no one is going to find us, and get into the spirit will you? It’s already spooky season, halloween is only two weeks away.”

“Get into the spirit,” he repeated, “Bad wording.” “On purpose.” “I hope you step on a lego.”

Stuffing your hands into the coats of your pockets, you walked upto the gate of the house's compound, leaving him with no other choice than to follow you. The gate creaked open with ease, much to your delight and his displeasure.

You had wanted to visit the abandoned house for a while now, but never had until this point, because one: you had always gotten caught up in other work and two: in case it wasn’t completely obvious, Taeyong was a bit of a scaredy cat.

Seriously, the dude couldn’t sit through a horror movie without yelping at least ten times and ‘going to get a glass of water’ at least five. Not to mention the bathroom breaks.

Watching horror movies ended up with his face buried in a pillow or your torso while he tried to ignore the creepy music, and your hands in his hair massaging his scalp and trying to get him to calm down. Usually he wouldn’t get any sleep after that, which meant you wouldn’t get any sleep which you didn’t mind. That’s also why he only watched them with you.

So obviously as the lovely, considerate best friend you were, you naturally decided that taking him to a spooky abandoned house during Halloween season was the normal thing to do.

“This is fine,” he muttered, walking beside you into the property. It was pretty chilly, coming to think of it, and you shivered slightly. It didn’t deter your spirits, but hadn’t passed Taeyongs observation, who immediately took your hand in his, putting them in the pockets of his jacket with his own.

You looked up at him in surprise and he shrugged, “You looked cold, and I know for a fact that if I gave you my jackets you’d call me sexist for trying to be nice,” his nose scrunched up, touched with a slight tinge of red from the chill, “And I’m cold too so I’m not going to suffer by trying to be nice either.”

You chuckled, squeezing his hand. Things like these, the little ones he did always made your heart flutter. Little displays of affection that had no hidden meaning, they made you go all fuzzy and warm on the inside, despite the cold.

“Okay, let's go inside?” “No thank you.” ‘We’re going anyways,” you raised an eyebrow at him and he sighed, surrendering, “Okay then.”

You walked in to the door, deciding to knock just to creep him out. A gust of wind blew past the two of you and a shriek was heard, making you jump with him.

“What the-”

MROW!

Looking to your side, you saw a rather bedraggled looking cat, chunks of its fur was missing and it looked at the two of you with what you could only decipher as murderous intent in that moment. It let out another wail, before scurrying away.

The poor thing was scared out of its mind, you could tell, but you really weren’t focusing on that, seeing that Taeyong had a death grip on your arm and was practically dislocating it. You looked at him, trying to shake off his hands from you, seeing a shocked and scared expression on his face.

“Dude, hello, you’re going to break my hand.”

He let go of your arm reluctantly, embarrassment creeping up in his features. “Caught me by surprise,” he muttered and you bit back your laughter. At this rate you were going to spend the day in stitches over him.

“It was a cat Taeyong, you’re like, ten times bigger.”

“I-”

“It was scared of you!”

He glared at you, but didn’t make an attempt to argue back with you, instead opting to stare blankly at the door of the house, idly kicking a rock at the side of the porch. You shook your head, taking his hand in yours and putting it back in his pockets.

“Squeeze if you get scared.”

He appreciated the genuine tone of your voice, and nodded curtly, giving you a small, sardonic smile in return. Taking a deep breath, you gripped the door knob, before turning back to him.

“Just don’t break my hand.”

xv] i think i kinda, you know

You didn’t see Taeyong much after that, classes taking up your time and schedules. That was okay though, you knew he was just there, right opposite your room, just two windows and a roof away.

But at the same time, it sucked to not be able to talk for two weeks straight, simply because you were always with him. Every time this happened, it felt like the two of you were drifting, and even though you knew you’d always find your way back, the prospect of that was a little scary.

The wind was blowing in your direction.

Taeyong and you had been together for a few months now, and even though there really hadn’t been any new relationship jitters and excitement, it seemed to be fading off gradually. 

That rush was gone, and you didn’t know how to feel about it, probably because you didn’t even notice. Taeyong however did, and was confused.

See, he loved the thought of you, of loving you, and he did love you. It was everything he had ever wanted and more, but lately with all the distractions and classes that idea seemed to be slipping away.

So when you asked him to reteach you how to drive after those two weeks, he agreed straight away. It felt like forever since he had spent any time with you and he missed you. Maybe there was that inkling of fear of losing you contributing, but he pushed it to the side. There was no point in over analyzing his own over thinking.

“Be gentle with the accelerator,” he instructed, “Actually, be gentle with all of them, don’t destroy my car please.”

“Right,” you said, hands gripping the steering wheel tightly and pressing the accelerating pedal lightly. The car increased in speed and it felt like your heart was in your throat. Seeing a stop sign, you panicked, “Wait how do I-”

“The brake, idiot.” You didn’t bother retorting to this, nodding and pressing the brakes in your panic, only to catapult yourself forward. Thank god you were wearing your seatbelt, thank god air bags existed and thank fuck you were gripping the steering wheel with a newly developed suction force of your hand.

“Well,” he swallowed thickly, “Now you have to park and then I’ll drive you around until you die because there is no way in hell I’m going through that again.” His voice cracked towards the end as puberty decided to make a second show in his lifetime. Any other time you would have teased him about it, but all you could manage was a sigh of relief. You didn’t know why you thought learning how to drive again would be a good idea.

Come to think of it though, you didn’t really have to tease him about his voice crack, considering his cheeks already glowed with embarrassment over it. Clearing his throat, he began speaking again, “Anyways, make a full stop and turn your steering wheel all the way to the right, then align the car to the center and pray to whatever god exists above you don’t crash the back of my car.”

You prayed alright, trying to follow his instructions to the best of your abilities. Managing to do so, the two of you slump in your seats almost in unison.  You’d leave the driving to him and god forbid, Ryunjin.

“Switch?” he asked, unbuckling his seatbelt. Nodding enthusiastically, you practically leaped out of the seat and walked to the passenger seat, happy to be back in the comfort of the freeloader while he drove. Uber existed for people like you, and you were fine with accepting that.

“Oh thank god she’s okay,” he muttered and you beamed, batting your eyelashes exaggeratedly, “You worry about me!”

“I was talking about my car,” he deadpanned, looking at you like you were the camera and he was enacting that scene from the office. You let out an offended sound, “Never mind, you don’t care for me at all, forget it, I don’t love you anymore-”

“Anymore?” He raised an eyebrow, “You love me?”

You stayed silent, looking down at your hands and coughing, before nodding, “Of course I love you idiot.”

He pressed his lips together, and you sighed. You should have known playing the best friend card would’ve been fruitless at that moment, so you gathered every bit of your courage and said the four words.

“I’m in love with you.”

Taeyong blinked, teeth sinking into his lower lip. He loved you, of course he did, but those words held so much. For the first time after a long time, something was hard when it came to you and it was such a foreign concept to him.

Everything had always been so easy with you and now it felt like he was stuck. That fear from before started creeping in again, that rush was fading and the idea of you was slipping through his fingers. He didn’t want that, he wanted to hold on to you and wanted it to forever be a rush.

Was it too soon to say that? You didn’t really know because you were internally panicking. Maybe you should’ve continued playing the oblivious card instead, this was a stupid idea, telling your best friend you loved him? What in the-

“I'm in love with you too,” he said softly, making you look up at him. He smiled crookedly, at your astonished expression, it almost looked like you didn’t believe him. He hoped you did, he hoped he did. 

He hoped he loved you like you loved him. 

Leaning over his seat, he pressed his lips to yours and you responded almost immediately, hands cupping his face as you kissed him back. The boy you had loved for more than three years loved you back and you were walking on cloud nine with him by your side, arms around his neck.

The winds blew your way, unbeknownst to you as Zephyrus controlled them. 

xvi] where are we? (where were you?)

And once again, you didn’t see him for days after that, weeks even. Usually the tension would dissipate after you met, but this time it didn’t. And you couldn’t figure out why, not even for the life of you.

It was like everything had become sticky, and you didn’t quite know where to step to navigate it. This was something you definitely had been afraid of even when the two of you weren’t together. That was why you made sure to give yourself reality checks, telling yourself that the two of you could never work, and that you shouldn’t hope.

But all of that was thrown out of the window the moment he kissed you.

You assumed he just needed some space, which you respected. He was probably busy with stuff and as a matter of fact, so were you. You had an entire article waiting to be written and other classes to work on. 

But right now you stood outside the classroom, holding a copy of your story all printed out in Times Roman font in size 11. You had already submitted an online copy through email, but they required a hardcopy as well, just to be sure. 

But this was way more nerve racking, considering you would see the others signing up for this opportunity. You knew there were some amazing writers in your journalism class and not to mention the english majors. Even outside that section, there were so many. At least in the comfort of your room, you didn’t have to face everyone.

Chewing on your lower lip, you skimmed over the story. It was an old one, you had gone over it and edited it again a few weeks ago, but you had deemed it good enough for something like this. 

The thing was, since it was so daunting to be here alone, you had asked Taeyong to come along with you before. You had always felt safer, or more at ease when he was around, he had the ability to calm you down and be rational while you lost your shit. 

Except he was nowhere to be seen.

You glanced down at your wrist, reading the time of your watch and sighing. He should’ve been here fifteen minutes ago, and yet you were still waiting for him. 

Had he forgotten? Probably, but at this point it felt like he was ignoring you on purpose. The thought was pretty alarming, and ridiculous all the same considering he had absolutely no reason to do so. And this was important to you, he never forgot things that were important to you.

Pressing your lips together, you decided to forget about him, walking into the classroom. You were met with a few unfamiliar faces, and a sea of unfamiliar ones. You saw Renjun, an english major who was pretty good with his words, especially with saying something philosophical or symbolic (again, in mark speak, that would be: deep).

He put his papers on the table, before walking back to the class. It was then you realized you hadn’t stapled your own together. Sighing exasperatedly, you walked to the shelves, looking about for a stapler.

You bumped into someone, looking up to apologize, only for the words to die on your tongue when you realized it was Doyoung. Blinking in surprise, you saw him holding some papers and put two and two together.

“You’re submitting a story?” You asked incredulously. He shrugged sheepishly, “Thought I’d give it a shot.”

“I didn’t even know you wrote?!”

“Just for fun,” he said quickly, trying to cover up his tracks. For some reason he sounded embarrassed of the fact and you decided to take advantage of this, a smirk on your face as you acted confused.

“You? Fun? Aren’t you an accounting major? I thought all you did was sit at your little desk and crunch numbers all day.”

“I disown you.”

‘Now we can’t have that!” You exclaimed as softly as possible to not gather anyone else’s attention, but also loud enough to portray the drama, “Who else will do my taxes? Or-”

Doyoung muttered some not so child friendly things under his breath, supposedly directed at you as he placed his story on the table and walked out. Grinning to yourself, you did your task of stapling your papers together. The interaction had calmed your nerves a little bit, and so you did the same, walking out.

All you could do now was cross your fingers and hope for the best.

You decided to walk back home, seeing the weather was pretty nice, and the pathways were littered with fallen leaves, painting it with oranges and yellows. The child in you wanted to stomp all over those leaves just to hear the crunch of them under your boot.

You walked back to your house, taking childish joy in the crunch of the leaves, smiling lightly. When you were younger, you and Taeyong would make a pile of leaves and one of you would jump in the middle, then you would repeat the whole thing for the other person. It had always been the two of you through everything.

Speaking of Taeyong, you spotted him standing outside his door, dressed in sweatpants and a pale blue sweater, hair slightly messy. You smiled for a moment, watching him, before you realized.

Why hadn’t he come?

Well it was now or never, there was no time than the present to ask him about it, was there? Walking up to him, you tapped his shoulder from behind. He turned around, before catching sight of you and smiling, “Hey.”

“Hey,” you replied curtly, “So what were you doing this afternoon?”

He frowned in thought, eyebrows knitting. “I took a nap and finished off a few assignments, they just keep piling up god.” He shook his head, “But yeah It’s been forever since we-”

“I asked about today, Taeyong, not while we haven’t talked.”

Maybe you were a little hurt over it, but you had a right to be. You had even reminded him about it, and he still didn’t show up when you needed him to. Really, it wasn’t that big of a deal, but maybe you would’ve been more confident doing it.

Maybe.

He nodded slowly, slightly surprised by your small outburst, and cleared his throat, “Yeah I took a nap.”

“So that’s why you didn’t show up,” you said, confusing him even further. Cocking his head to the side, he raised an eyebrow in question and you sighed, “The writing thing, Taeyong.”

Taeyong’s eyes widened when he realized what you were talking about, mouth opening and then closing, no words coming out. He didn’t have an excuse, other than his memory failing him.

“I just,” you paused, looking down at your feet. Suddenly it felt like you couldn’t control anything, and it frustrated you. You hadn’t seen him for weeks, he bailed on you for an event you needed him to be there with you for, and he didn’t even have a proper excuse for it. To top it off, it felt like he had been ignoring you. 

And you were confused.

You continued, “I just feel like we’re nowhere right now, and I really wanted you to be there.” Your voice wavered slightly, and you wanted to kick yourself for it. There was no reason for you to be nervous.

“Like, what even are we?” You said, not even giving him the chance to respond, “Like yeah, best friends, but Taeyong, are we really just that?” You asked the one question that had been plaguing your thoughts.

You didn’t know what the two of you were, to put it quite plainly. Yeah you still used the term ‘best friend’ because it was simple and easy and avoided any complications, but at this point, saying you were still best friends was only adding to the confusion. It was adding to it because you weren’t just best friends, damnit, you were in love with the boy.

And yes, he said it back to you, but those were just words. Were they real? What if it was all just a figment of your imagination?”

“We’re best friends,” he said, the ‘words’ flying out of his mouth before he could even comprehend it. It sounded almost rehearsed, like he had stood in front of his mirror saying that statement several times in a row until he could do so in his sleep. 

You didn;t really blame him, though. That was what the two of you had been ever since you were four for gods sake, but that only irked you further. Taking a step forward, you cupped his face, kissing him full on the mouth.

It wasn’t a long kiss by any means, you had already pulled away not even a minute later, but it had definitely left him bewildered. You sighed, letting your arms fall limply to your sides, “Do best friends do that?”

Your voice was barely above a whisper, but it was loud and clear for Taeyong. He swallowed the lump in his throat, refusing to meet your eyes. 

“No,” he said finally, “They don’t.”

Sighing you, ran a hand through your hair, “Fine, we’re best friends, so if that was the case, couldn’t you have at least been there as my best friend if not my boyfriend?”

That statement cuts through Taeyong, making feel even worse than he already did. “I-” He stopped himself, realizing there really wasn’t anything he could say. He didn’t know what he could do. He had hurt you, and that was the last thing he had wanted to do.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. 

You left, back to your own house, back in the sanctuary of your room. Of course you forgave him, you said it was okay and squeezed his hands in assurance before you had walked away, but it wasn’t okay.

You still didn’t know where the two of you stood.

~

Another thing about Love: it was selfish.

Everyone said love was supposed to be selfless, it was supposed to be giving of one’s self to others. Fairy Tales illustrated this, romance novels did do, and everyone held that perception of love. 

What they didn’t talk about was how it was rarely ever truly selfless. People loved taking, rather than giving, and keeping. Finders keepers, if you will.

You see, the thing about love is that you want to keep it no matter what. Even when it’s broken and theres no hope for it, you try fixing it, keeping it together to the best of your abilities. You’d tape together the pieces of your heart with scotch tape if you had to.

Taeyong was selfish, he knew.

See, the thing about him was he needed change, while you were fine staying where you were. He couldn’t stay in one place for long, and no, it wasn’t a commitment issue. It was simply in his nature.

But he was selfish, he wanted change but then he didn’t.

Taeyong had fallen for the concept of having you, of loving you. He had always been a bit of a romantic, and the prospect of having you as his had been all too tempting. Infatuation if you will.

A mistake, he loved the mistake, but he regretted it. He wished he hadn’t gotten so caught up in his thoughts and romanticization, maybe then he wouldn’t be in the position he was in right now.

He loved you, but he was tired.

Not of you, but of the idea, the thought. That rush had faded off, as had his infatuation with you. 

He tried fixing it, putting space between the two of you hoping it would patch it up. ‘Distance makes the heart grow fonder’, it was a saying for a reason, right? It had to work, right? Not in this case, all it did was make it worse. An he didn’t want to hurt you, fuck, that was the last thing he had ever wanted. He wanted to love you like you loved him. He was your ‘yongie’, and he wanted it to stay that way. So he stayed silent, he let you be his because he wanted to love you.

But all he was doing was hurting you further, he realized. His selfishness was costing you, and it was costing him, slowly eating away at him. He kept pulling you close only to push you away and it had never been like this before.

If this was a perfect world, Taeyong would keep you anyways, and he would slowly learn to love you again, this time for real, not just in his imagination. In a perfect world, he’d never make the mistake of following along with his thoughts, he would’ve never led you on.

In a perfect world, he wouldn;t have to accept his mistake, he wouldn;t have to own up to it and break your heart even more. But this wasn’t a perfect world.

This world was selfish.

xvii] one heart broke, four hands bloody

When Taeyong showed up at your window, you knew what was happening. Just an inkling, not even the full thing, but you had a good guess.

You let him in, not saying a word. The silence weighed down on the two of you as he climbed into your room, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his jeans and looking around. You followed his eyes to a frame sitting atop your desk, of the two of you. You were seventeen in that photograph, which was ironic. You had fallen in love with the man that stood in front of you when you were seventeen.

Perhaps you were selfish as well, because you could see what was coming, and somewhere in the back of your mind you had always known, yet you kept him. Love was selfish.

He let out a deep breath, facing you properly, brown eyes meeting your own. You couldn’t help but notice the remorse in them, he didn’t even have to say anything, you already knew he was silently apologizing. 

“It’s okay,” you said, “It’s okay.” “You deserve to know,” he said, sucking in a breath, “And-”

It’s too much for you, and you can’t bear to hear it coming from him, so you interrupted him.

“Do you love me?”

Just four words, but that question was heavy. It was an effort just to say it, to get it out into reality. He bit down on his lower lip and you had your answer, but you waited for him to confirm it.

“I think I fell in love with the idea of you.”

And you’re confused, but you nod slowly, allowing him to continue. It’s already becoming hard, you could feel your throat constrict on itself. You fisted your fingers, digging your nails into your skin in an attempt to distract yourself from your wandering thoughts.

“I think I loved you at one point,” he said, “and I do love, just..” he trailed off and you sighed, forcing yourself to speak through your hurt. “Not like I love you?”

Your voice broke towards the end, your throat felt scratchy and it was getting hard to speak. It hurt, much more than you thought it ever could, especially when he gave you a soft nod confirming your suspicions. It was like someone was prodding at your heart with a rod. 

So this was what heartbreak felt like.

It was worse because you had had him at one point, he was yours even for a little. But was he ever really yours? You didn’t know. It was painful because there had been a chance, you had almost had him, only for it to all slip through your fingers.

Maybe it would’ve been better for it to never happen, if you had just stayed within your role as a best friend. If you hadn’t let the lines blur between them. You could live with loving him quietly, you had until now, didn't you? You could stay as the best friend, you could watch him fall in love with someone else.

But now, you don’t know if you can, because you were living in blissful ignorance before. Now you knew what it felt like, to be loved by him. And you’d do it again and again, but at the same time, you didn’t want to do it at all. You wished you could turn back time and erase all of this. You wished you could forget.

It was reckless of you, and you realized in that moment that best friends aren’t supposed to be lovers. You’re too similar, you know too much about each other. 

“I love you,” your voice comes out broken but full of emotion. Choked, pent up, heartbroken. It feels as if someone had taken your heart and walked right over it, leaving it alone. The world hated you, you were sure, to make you fall in love with someone you couldn’t have.

“I love you too,” he said, equally as broken, but it was empty. It was like he was trying, but failing and you were waiting for someone who had given up. 

You wished you could keep him anyways, and call him yours. You wished he could fall in love with you again and again and again. You wished you could know that it would work, and that this beautiful man in front of you felt the same way you did.

You can’t force the stars to align when they’ve already died.

And then you’re crying and you don’t know why. Being heartsick hurt so bad, it was a dull ache at one moment, and then a piercing pain. Taeyong walked over, pulling you into his arms, muttering apologies over and over but you don’t hear them.

You’re in his arms once again, but you’re crying, crying for him, because you can’t explain the way it hurt now that you knew it was over. It was so brief, but it was gone. You were mourning a lover you never had, a love you lost, but could really call it yours in the first place?

Somewhere, in the wistful, stupid, idiotic part of your mind, you wonder if somewhre down the line he’d be yours again. If somehow the two of you found your way back to each other, like a fairy tale.

But your fairy tale had ended before it could even properly begin. You had fallen in love with the wrong prince, and no true love's kiss could help because it wasn’t true love. As much as you hated it, you had to accept that.

See, the real world wasn;t perfect, there weren't any fairy godmothers, or dwarfs to help you. There were no enchanted spinning wheels and talking mice. The real world was harsh.

It’s both of your faults, you know. He led you on and you let yourself follow. You didn’t see the signs and kept him anyway. The both of you are caught red handed, but really only you’ve been hurt properly. He never really loved you.

Could you go back to what you were before all of this?

It felt like he was miles away, even though you were in his arms. You had lost him, he was gone and there was nothing you could do about it. You feel so stupid, because you had known it would end like this and yet you let it happen.

“I should go,” he whispered, taking a step away from you. You felt exposed and vulnerable, but nodded, trying to wipe your tears away. He hesitated, before leaning forward and pressing his lips to yours for one last kiss. It was salty from your tears, but it hurt even more. This was the end, you knew.

You knew that if given the chance, you’d go straight back to him. Your heart lied with him and him alone, and even though it fucking hurt, you’d let him beak your heart again, no matter how stupid it sounded.

And then he left, and you were alone. Just a window away, but miles apart. 

~

When you were thirteen, you had your first crush. You didn’t really like the guy, but you thought you did, maybe it was because all your other friends had crushes and you felt obligated to do so.

You felt no butterflies when you saw him, you didn’t feel anything if you were being honest. After a while, you got tired of pretending you liked him, and that was the end of that.

With Taeyong however it was different. That had been love, no matter how brief. For a moment within it all, maybe, just maybe, he had loved you like you loved him.

Then it all fell to pieces, but you were grateful, even through your heartsick self. It hurt but you were grateful that he was yours for a moment. You were grateful he told you the truth in the end.

You sat in front of your laptop once again, hands on the keyboard. It was almost laughable, the way your inspiration was the one thing that happened to devastate you the most. 

See, with Taeyong you kept falling and falling until you had hit the ground. Taylor swift was right, because falling really did feel like flying till the bone crush.

And it crushed you, because not only had you lost a lover, the boy you had loved and cared for for so long, but also your best friend, the boy who you could always depend on, who was always there for you.

Until he wasn’t of course.

So what was love to you?

You began writing, in the dead of the night. The scene was extremely similar, a bowl of Froot Loops by your side, dozens of tabs open with other distractions. But this time, it was like your writer's block had disappeared into thin air, leaving you only with words. And you drowned in the words, you poured them all out onto your article.

You didn’t care if it was unprofessional, you could edit it out later, but for now, you let it all out. You poured your agony, your grief and your love into the piece, until it was done. Until you had exhausted your every thought and it was five in the morning.

And you didn’t bother to read it over. You printed it out and looked across your room where your window was, where you could see Taeyong’s window. The mud stood there, the roses drooped ever so slightly.

You took the unedited printed copy, and climbed out onto the roof, looking up at the sky. There were no stars, which made you smile bitterly. Not even star crossed, just not there.

You placed the copy carefully on the window sill, next to the mug. The roses looked bruised and battered, dark spots here and there on its petals. You could tell he hadn’t watered them, or changed the water, or even bought new ones.

You had told him that if you were a god, you would make him into a rose. Now, it felt like Zephyrus had taken away your Hyacinthus, your Rose, just like he did to Apollo. You’re standing in a field of roses, but can’t find the one you wanted.

You knew what love was, and for you it had unfortunately come in the form of your best friend, Lee Taeyong, the most gorgeous man you had ever seen. The kindest, the most wonderful and most thoughtful person you had ever met. Someone you knew like the back of your hand, that you could see with your eyes closed.

And even when you found someone new, a piece of your heart would alway remain with him. For you, it would never be. It would live on as a memory, one that you would treasure forever. 

You’d love him forever, till forever fell apart.

xviii] well, i hope i was your favorite

Taeyong woke up, in a bit of a daze. It felt like it had all been a dream, and he had been shaken awake. Letting out a sigh, he got to his feet, observing his appearance in the mirror. Sleep still covered his features, eyes half closing, hair sticking out in different directions as a result of bed head.

Blinking rapidly to snap himself out of it, he got ready for the day, changing into presentable clothes and then walked back into his room with his cereal, his precious Frosted Flakes, only for his eyes to catch onto his window.

There sat a small booklet in a file. He walked over picking it up and opening it, reading the title.

‘What is My Perception Of Love’, an article written by Y/n L/n. [unedited]

He gripped the sides, wondering if he should read it. You had obviously left it out for him, it was right there. He’d admit, maybe he was a little scared of what he would find- scratch that, he was terrified. Yet, he sat down at his desk, turning the page and beginning to read, taking a spoonful of his cereal into his mouth.

Love is confusing.

And even now as I write this piece, I’m not quite sure what it is. In fact, when I started writing it, I was met with a blank document and no idea of what I should put down. Google said love was a feeling of intense affection or admiration.  Urban dictionary said it was the most powerful emotion.

And no matter how much research I tried to do, no matter what I read, I was always left where I started, with that blank document and still at square one.

So I asked one of my closest friends, someone who was like a sister to me. She told me that it was amazing, that it’s comforting. And when I decided to pen that down, she stopped me, telling me that it was just her view.

So then I asked a lot of people. I got varied answers, some said it was the most wonderful thing in the world, that it was comforting knowing it existed. Some hated it with a burning passion because they had been hurt before. They said love is always meant to end and that’s why it was painful, and yet, even with all these different opinions, I was still lost.

It wasn’t my perception.

But I think google is wrong, see there is a difference between love and admiration. Love and Infatuation are two very different things, and I’ve seen and felt both. 

Falling in love is scary for most, but for me, it was easy. I think everyone could see it, simply because the person I fell in love with was so lovable. They were perfect in my eyes and I think that’s where I’ll start.

Love is a strong feeling in your chest, it makes your thoughts go haphazard until all you can think of is that one person. No matter what they do, it’s like they’re always glowing, they’re always perfect and beautiful and you’d do anything for them.

But then there is infatuation, the thought of loving someone. What would it be like? In that case you can also see a person as perfect, but it only lasts until that idea is gone. Until it fades away and you realize you weren’t in love with them, but rather the idea of them.

Maybe Infatuation is a type of love, but it’s much more explosive. It’s short lived and in the end it hurts because you realize they don’t love you for real.

When I fell in love, it started out as a crush and then it only grew. And even if it’s all over, I know I’d go running back to him. I’d give up everything to call him mine if I could. That’s the thing about love, isn’t it? It is indeed a powerful emotion and it could ruin you if you let it.

Google defined infatuation as an intense but short lived passion or admiration for someone or something. I agree with this one, because when I fell in love it was short, because the person who loved me back was just infatuated.

And that hurt when I put the pieces together and found out. It hurts because you could love someone with all your heart and in the end it’s all fruitless. In the end love ended up breaking my heart.

Love is terrifying, but I think that's the point. Sometimes you can mistake infatuation for love and I think that’s why they say love is blind. You never know what it is until it’s too late. You can’t love without hurting.

Love is painful, it’s agonizing and sometimes it feels like someone has ripped your heart out of your chest and trampled all over it. It gives you that high that people chase after and it probably isn’t worth the pain you feel after you come crashing back down, but we chase after it anyways.

I know I did.

Trusting someone with your heart is a scary prospect. They can break it, and you can be left with trying to pick up the pieces.

But that’s heartbreak, and while I know exactly how that feels, I’m talking about love. That’s what my article is supposed to be about. Love, to me, is stored in moments. Little things you do with that special person.

Little things like grocery shopping, and spending time together.  Taking care of eachother, always being there for the other person. When you choose them above everyone else. I think that’s love, it’s not as grand, and hell if it’s true, but it’s there.

It’s being able to tell the other person anything in the world, being able to be completely honest without any fears because you know they’ll accept you. When you don’t have to act like someone else, you can just be yourself, imperfections and all.

When you can understand each other without having to say anything, it’s just the silence that carries the conversation. When you don’t know how to put your feelings into words and so they construct your sentences for you.

It isn’t telling the person you love them everyday, but rather the little things you do for them, and those they do for you. 

It’s being selfish in a way, you’d do anything to keep them, I know I would. It’s beautiful but painful at the same time, and that begs the question: how can something so beautiful be so tragic at the same time? It doesn’t make sense, and frankly, I’m figuring that one out for myself.

Some say it’s an illusion, some think of it as this final destination, but I don’t think that’s true. I think we find love everyday, I think it can be a burst of affection, it’s a mixture of lust, attraction, commitment and dare I say, ironically so, infatuation. It comes about when you least expect it, creeping up onto your heart and you don’t know you’ve fallen until you can’t get up.

It’s rarely something you find at the end, it’s never a reward for everything you’ve been through. You can lose it before you have it. It can be short lived, believe me, I know. We barely lasted a year but god.

Those few months, those taught me what love truly felt like. And hey, maybe it’s a warped version of it, maybe I’m completely wrong, but this is my perception of love.

Then again, I’ve only ever been in love with one person.

Taeyong thinks you’re the unluckiest person ever to have to fall in love with someone like him. He wasn’t blaming you by any means, because he felt at fault somehow. Perhaps it had been beautiful, the two of you, but he had ruined it with his own idiocy. 

Placing the booklet down, he rubbed the front of his face, letting out a sigh and leaning back in his chair. His cereal was forgotten, only your words remained.

He was betting that your article wasn’t what you wanted your perfect world to look like, in fact he was sure that for once you had written what reality had in store.

Picking it up again, he walked to the shelves on his bedside wall, taking out an old children's book he had kept. When the two of you were little you used to read it together, talking about the picture illustrations.

He remembered you telling him you could write a better story and him arguing that you couldn’t. A very supportive best friend.

Opening it, he flipped through the pages until he reached a particular one. Page 8, where there was a loose ruled piece of paper kept there. On the top, in messy crayon writing, it read: Best Friend Contract.

The rest of the writing was faded and smudged, so he really couldn’t read it. He had kept it after all these years, and was glad he did. 

He smiled briefly at it, placing the article over it and shutting the book once again and keeping it back in his place, staring at the spine. Looking around, he realized there were pieces of you all around his room. There was no way he’d ever be able to forget you, even if he tried.

“Thank you,” he whispered, “For teaching me to love.”

But I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss, I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs

~ You did well on your article, the edited version of course. There was no way in hell you were sending in the raw version, it was too piercing even for you. It was too scatterbrained, a little too much. Some of it went into personal territory, so you had to cancel it out. You did better than you had expected to do, that was for sure.

The seasons changed once again, but it felt like you were stuck in one spot. Your feet were rooted to the ground, still mentally in the joy of spring. Maybe it was the heaviness of your heart that weighed you down, maybe it was your hate for change, you didn’t know.

And things didn’t go back to normal, you didn’t magically fall back into your old habits with him, you didn’t fall in step with his stride. You were struggling to catch up, and running was exhausting. Even the thought of speaking with Taeyong seemed to hurt, and if you couldn’t think about it, how in the world would you be able to do it?

You wished you could stay the best friend forever, but as much as it pained you, you had to accept the fact that that chapter of your life was over. Yet, you were still in love with him, while he was almost in love with you.

Almost isn’t enough, and it never will be.

And in a perfect world, one that you would write to achieve, you would continue loving him quietly. Maybe he’d fall for you again, maybe you’d watch him love someone else. Maybe you’d see him get married, standing on the sidelines. It would break your heart again, but at least you’d be able to keep your best friend.

You’d let him break your heart again and again, because you were fine with loving him quietly. You were fine with no one knowing, with no declarations of love and no romance. You had done it until everything fell to pieces, hadn’t you?

Stupid, stupid hope.

You knew Taeyong had dyed his hair blond finally, you had seen glimpses. He looked good. You knew he still stayed up late to play his game. You knew exactly how his room looked at that very moment.

On his chest of drawers lay the half finished miniature, and you were sure it would stay like that forever. On the window sill was the roses, probably sad and dead at this point. Your article however, you didn’t know where that was, but you hoped he had kept it.

In your closet, somewhere in its mess lay the top he had gotten you when he loved you, you liked to think.

You see, Taeyong and you had done so much together. You had learnt how to read together, you had played with him, he had been with you when you had no one. He was your constant, always there. 

You had stayed up late together, he had made sure you slept some days, he had helped you when you were sick. You had helped him in math back in high school. You helped his clumsy ass when he broke something, going grocery shopping together, going home together, him hyping you up whenever you needed it.

That was love, you were sure, and you didn’t have to look any further for it, even if you’d never see it again. And it was a little bittersweet thinking back on it, because when you did all of it, it was always with him. Now that was gone.

You and Taeyong had been adjoined at the hip ever since you were little, and had experienced so many firsts together. He put up with you even when he didn’t like it, like visiting an abandoned house and being trespassers. Partners in crime through thick and thin.

But out of it all, you hoped that you had been his favorite.

fin.

#taeyong x reader #kpopscape #ankathia #kokonomi #NEOCULT:redemption #neoswitch #cznnet #kcollegenet #nctcreations #kpopficsnetwork #neowritingsnet #lee taeyong x reader #nct taeyong x reader #nct #nct taeyong #lee taeyong #taeyong x female reader #taeyong x oc #taeyong imagines #taeyong fluff #taeyong angst #taeyong drabbles #taeyong fanfic #taeyong oc #lee taeyong x oc #nct 127 scenarios #nct imagines #nct angst #nct fluff

[chicksung]

love: on ice

genre: secret lovers au, established relationship, college au, ice hockey au, fluff

pairing: captain!jaemin x reader

word count: 0.7k

warning/s: no tw, inaccuracy about ice hockey

synopsis: you were secretly dating na jaemin, until you weren’t

a/n: this idea has been brewing in the back of my head for a while

taglist: @jensrose

feedback is appreciated and encouraged

@kflixnet @ficscafe @nct-writers

the noise in jaemin’s ears was deafening. between the college kids who had accumulated in the rink to watch the grand final face off between his team, the T-Rexes, and the rival school’s, the Wolves, and the sound of countless pairs of skates scraping against the ice beneath his feet. A grand final was important, of course, but as captain, it was a case of life or death for him. if the team didn’t win, it would the 13th consecutive loss against the Wolves, and jaemin would take the brunt of kai’s harsh ‘criticism’. jaemin was responsible for the team, subsequently meaning he was responsible for their losses too.

it was the last quarter and every spectator was on the edge of their seat. there was five minutes left and the teams were tied. whoever scored the next point was guaranteed to win, not an opportunity anyone was willing to give up. jaemin roughly bumped against the shoulder pads of a player of the opposition but nearly slipped over in the process. he steadied himself on his hockey stick and looked up, his eyes set directly on you. he didn’t think you were even going to show up, but here you were, sitting amongst dozens of your peers, cheering on the team. 

you had been dating for a while, but mutually agreed to keep it on the downlow due to how busy and popular jaemin was. he constantly felt awful about not being able to show you off to the entirety of the campus, so he always tried his hardest to make it up to you with camping trips, gifts and making you breakfast in the morning. you didn’t have much interest in hockey, despite your boyfriend being the captain of the team, but you always supported him but never seemed to find time to catch his games, which is why today was so important to you.

his teammates surrounded him, patting him on the back and chanting his name like a spell, a spell that suddenly the entire cohort of his college was now chanting. The team gravitated towards the exit and jaemin was first off the ice. he trudged past his coach, the girls screaming his name until he came to you. perfect you. if he didn’t know you, he could’ve sworn you were an angel. his thoughts were running a mile a minute and one was winning. kiss them. he threw his stick aside and walked up to you, cupping your cheek and kissing you before you could say a word. no longer could he hear the crowd chanting his name, or his coach yelling profanities at him. all he could hear, feel and think was you. he pulled away, keeping his gaze on you. the ‘you’ in question looked like a deer in headlights, caught off guard and stunned.

“i’m sorry,” he whispered, “but i couldn’t help myself.” you giggled in response.

“i’m sorry,” he whispered, “but i couldn’t help myself.” you giggled in response.

“you think i’m mad? jaemin, you just won the final. i couldn’t be more proud,” you replied with a dmub smile on your face. jaemin flashed his adorable smile, his heart beating wildly in his chest. the effect you had on him was astounding, to the point he was willing to kiss his secret partner in front of thousands of people. the things he did for you.

#kpop #fanfiction #kpop fanfiction #kpop fluff #nct fanfiction #nct dream #nct fluff #nct writers #neoturtles #neoswitch #ficscafe #ankathia #house of incantations #kflixnet #na jaemin #na jaemin scenarios #nct dream jaemin #nct dream fanfiction #nct dream fluff

[jaeminzie]

someone like u | n.jm

↳ na jaemin x fem!reader

synopsis: you’ve been waiting for someone like jaemin.

genre: fluff (but like sappy fluff ¿)

word count: 975

a/n: happy bday to the boy with the heartiest heart :[ this was not proof read and was rushed bc i started school already so yeah... and this is quite personal since it’s literally just me projecting all my insecurities in my love life lmfao so enjoy !!

someone like u - ariana grande

falling for a person like jaemin isn’t difficult. definitely not when he’s just so easy to love. it makes you wonder if it’s too easy, as if there’s a catch to it all. though, with the way his tired eyes light up instantly when he sees you walking toward him in the courtyard, anyone could recognize how in love he truly is. jaemin, the boy who wakes up early just so he can give you your morning coffee before your first class even though he doesn’t have class until noon.

the way your heart flutters when he immediately takes a seat next to you in the booth of your favorite diner just so he can hold your hand while eating, and the close proximity promises that he doesn’t miss a single (boring) word you say. still, jaemin makes it known that he’s listening by nodding his head, humming, and maintaining eye contact that is nearly impossible for you to hold.

the worries you once had of not being able to attain that undying love that lasts until you and your partner are wrinkly and weak, crumbles down when jaemin rests his chin on your head as he secures his embrace around you as you both lay on the bed. there are still nights where you assume that he’s just staying with you for pity. but you are proven wrong the next morning when you’re awoken alone in his bed as he got up extra early to make you breakfast, making sure to be quiet the entire time so he doesn’t disrupt your rest. throughout your time together, jaemin observes your expression when eating to see if the food satisfies you, then mentally takes note of the stuff you like and dislike.

all the bad experiences you’ve had with past lovers, moments that almost made you give up on trying to find “the one,” have all been replaced with the fondest memories made with jaemin. one of which is right this moment. the view of the sky from on top of jaemin’s rooftop beats any hill in this small town.

you lean against his chest, his knees act as arm rests for your comfort. jaemin’s toned arms have a strong hold around your waist while his chin is delicately placed on your shoulder.

no words are being exchanged, just deep breaths and the rhythmic beating of your hearts. fingers playing with one another. stepping on each other’s shoes teasingly like what middle schoolers do.

stars are scattered on its dark canvas. “that one is the prettiest,” he whispers, his warm breath hitting your neck. you can see a finger of his point from the corner of your eyes but you didn’t need to know which star he was referring to know which he thinks is the prettiest star of them all.

it’s the biggest one, twinkling in intervals of five seconds, you’ve been observing that one even before jaemin pointed it out. “i think so too.”

moments like these where comfortable silence and calm breathing with jaemin are so valuable. you aren’t sure where else you can find silence that lasts so long and still find it tolerable and enjoyable. jaemin is contradictory to your love life, or the love life that you used to have. the partners you used to date; the attention you used to attract; the treatment you used to deal with.

with jaemin, everything has been completely foreign to you, almost shocking as fiction you’ve read in your sappy romance books is becoming a reality for you. it boggles you. you’re guilty of wanting it to be too good to be true at times when things are suspiciously too calm. almost if calmness terrifies you as you expect it to be the “calm before the storm,” and you have no choice but to sit still and wait for that storm to hit.

“avoir elle est avoir les étoilés,” the voice behind you interrupts your thoughts. he pauses to place a kiss behind your ear, sending shivers down your spine. “to have her is to have the stars.”

heat spreads all through your face and neck. once again, your partner proves your worries false. as his ways of showing love continue and become more prevalent every passing day, those worries crumble down. when he cooks you dinner after a long day at school, that’s when you know it’s genuine. when he nags you to take care of yourself constantly, you know it’s because he cares for you. and when he maintains eye contact and nods while you ramble on about your boring day, you just know.

“you mean so much to me,” you whisper, it’s barely audible. “truly,” said with more power but still requires good hearing to comprehend what you said.

jaemin smiles, and his neck and the tip of his ears become hot. although he hasn’t said the three words in respect for your request to take things slowly, he knows the words you had just said hold the same weight. and to be real, jaemin will cherish anything you give and say to him despite how little it may seem to you — how effortless it looks to you — he will accept and love anything, because, well, he loves you and everything that deals with you.

you’re aware that there is no rush in your relationship, but sometimes, you want nothing more than these thoughts and second guesses to disappear suddenly so you can fully take in jaemin’s love. so you can dive into the ocean of his affection.

but for now, you’ll just remain in his tight hold, embracing the comfort and security he brings along with his endless love — reserved just for you. because a person like jaemin deserves to be reciprocated with the same amount of love he willingly gives to others with no hesitation.

#nct dream #nct dream fanfic #nct #nct dream drabbles #nct dream imagine #nct dream scenario #neothestars #neoswitch #dreamwritersnet #kpopscape #nct dream fluff #jaemin #na jaemin #na jaemin fluff #jaemin imagine #jaemin fanfic #jaemin fluff #jaemin angst #jaemin scenario #jaemin scenarios #jaemin drabble #jaemin timestamps #jaemin headcanons #nct dream timestamps #nct dream blurbs #jaemin blurb #nct drabble #nct imagine #nct scenarios #nct fluff

[artaefact]

unexpected visitor.

➳ 951 words | fluff, angst-ish, boyfriend au, college au | lee jeno x f reader | pg-15 | swearings

The rapid knocks against your front door startle you from your word document. Furrowing your brows, you check the clock to see it’s nearly midnight before exiting your bedroom, wondering, who could it be?

Tentatively, you peek through the peephole, only to gape at the sight in front of you. Unlocking the door, Jeno stands there with a bouquet of your favourite flowers. But what shocks you, even more is the fact that he’s out of his room on a weekday. He never leaves his place unless it’s the weekends since your boyfriend has to maintain his top grades to stay in the hockey team.

“J-Jeno? What…?”

He extends the bouquet to you, fidgeting as he waits for you to take it from his hand. Gradually, you notice his face flushing, which you assume from the cold. So, you open the door wider to let him in.

Closing the door, you turn to him, “Hey, what’s happening?” After setting down his backpack, he looks completely lost in your apartment despite his frequent visits on the weekends. “Weren’t you busy doing some project or something?”

“I-I can’t stop thinking about the way we left things back in the library the other day…” he blurts out.

Ah…

“We could talk it out tomorrow,” you tease, trying to lighten the mood as you take the bouquet from his hands. “Tomorrow’s Friday, the last day of the week. And thanks for this.” You raise the flowers slightly in your hold.

Jeno stills as you walk to find an empty vase.

“I’m sorry…” he mutters, but loud enough for you to hear.

You hum. “You don’t have anything to apologise for. I was too clingy—” Jeno draws a sharp breath at that while your heart pangs at the word Jeno used to describe you. Well, he didn’t outright use that word, but it feels like he implied it. “—and you needed space, I understand that. You really don’t have to go all the way here. I’ll still be around tomorrow.”

“Shit, no, you’re not at all clingy, Y/N. I just said how we seem to never part from each other,” he recalls before adding quickly. “But that does not necessarily mean it’s a bad thing.”

“Uh-huh…” You face him after putting the flowers on the vase, hands crossing over your chest as uncertainty looms on your expression. “That’s not what your friends told me, though…” Confusion appears on Jeno’s face now. You continue, “—the day before we went to the library, they told me you weren’t able to focus during hockey practice because I kept on distracting you whenever I’m around. A-and when you said that in the library, I assumed you needed some space… So, I told you I had something to do.”

“Did you?”

“Well, yeah. I have an assignment to finish if I want to go to your celebratory party on Saturday. You invited me, remember?”

Jeno places a hand on his forehead instantly. “I completely forget about that.”

“Glad to remind you of it.” You chuckle before the room lapsed into silence. “Anyways, is that all?”

Jeno sighs. “You’re still avoiding the subject.”

“Am not.”

“Are too.”

You grow annoyed at this. “Look, you said you needed to get things done too, right? Don’t you have that report you had to do? We can talk about this tomorrow—”

“I missed you.”

Silence.

“I’ve been missing you—” Jeno repeats in a quieter voice. “Like... A lot.”

“It’s just two days, Jeno...”

“Two days too long,” he mutters, gazing at your wooden floor momentarily before releasing a breath. “Look, I know I’m not the best with words or talking about my feelings, but please believe me when I say you’re not making me uncomfortable,” he pleads, eyes begging. “In fact, I love it when you’re around me, even if I got distracted. If I needed the space, I would have told you, Y/N. We promised to be honest with each other, right?”

You nod slowly, and he sighs in relief.

Jeno steps closer to where you’re standing hesitantly as if testing the waters whether or not you’d step away from him. But you remain rooted to the spot, and he strides to you, closing the distance. Once he gathers you in his arms, he breathes in your scent.

“So... Are we good?” His voice comes out uncertain, mumbling into your hair.

“You’re hugging me, aren’t you?” You counter, arms wrapping around his lean frame.

He chuckles, “You’re not making this easier.”

You snort. “Since when do I make it easy for men?”

“Right.” He laughs fondly, burying his face onto the crook of your neck. “I must be an exceptional man to be able to charm you. And in all honesty, I think my lame jokes did it. That’s why Haechan didn’t stand a chance.”

You groan into his chest. “Hell no.”

“Says the one who laughs at my lame jokes.”

“I think it’s time for you to leave. I’m busy, and it’s late.” You attempt to pull away from him, but his strong arms keep you close to him.

“I don’t mind.” He grins. “I brought cuddles and kisses too, you know. I’m sure you’re missing them after two days.”

“You want to stay over…?” You stare at him. “On a weekday? But you don’t—”

“I brought my laptop along. So, we can work on our assignments together.” He cuts you off, giving you the most puppy-like expression as if saying ‘pretty, please?’ with only his eyes.

“If you’re okay with it, then…” You trail off as he nods eagerly at your words.

“Of course.” He kisses your forehead. “As long as you’re with me.”

© artaefact 2021. All rights reserved. Copying, reposting, translating, and modifying in any platform or by any means is NOT permitted.

#nct-writers #cznnet #nctcreations #neowritingsnet #dreamwritersnet #neoswitch #nctmentary.net #kafenetwork #kpopscape #kdiner #lee jeno #jeno #jeno x reader #jeno x you #jeno imagines #jeno scenarios #nct x reader #nct imagines #nct dream #nct dream scenarios

[soliverse]

the way of the househusband - n.yt

reader x yuta

genre: gangster au, marriage and family au, fluff humor

warnings: mentions of blood, violence, and cursing

word count:1.5k

networks:​

@nctcreations @kdiarynet @kpopscape @kwritersworld @culture-cafe @neowritingsnet @neoswitchnet @czennienet @nct-writers

ps: this was based off that cute little anime that I found on Netflix and I just had to write it. I didn’t have this beta’d because it was out of a whim and I needed to get it out my system.

 You grabbed your kid from her high chair and gave her a tight hug and plenty of kisses. You're about to leave once again for another workday, but you can't seem to get over leaving your child every single day.

///

"Kitty~"

 You cradled Yena as you made your way into the kitchen, where your husband, Mr. Nakamoto himself, was cooking breakfast for the three of you. Seeing him so domesticated made you giggle for a bit. His tattoo-clad body contrasts your pink frilly apron. You wiped his sweaty forehead and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

 Yuta has been working hard as a househusband for more than a year now. He used to be utterly hopeless in the house, something that he couldn't have learned from his past profession, but your husband still tried to keep himself busy while you work, and he stays at home with Yena.

 You see, Yuta is a former head of a famous gang in Japan. When he heard that you were pregnant with his child, he had quit the lifestyle and disbanded the whole unit. It was his life, but it's a small price to pay for raising a family away from chaos. And for that, you are eternally grateful.

 "Yuta, the eggs are burning."

"Shit. I fucked up."

 You sighed.

 "Language, please." You covered your daughter's ears and made your way back to the dining table, placing Yena right beside you as you prepared the baby food you premade for when Yuta will feed Yena throughout the day.

 "I managed to save the eggs..." Yuta brought out the plate of eggs, smilingly proudly as if he's accomplished something. You took one look at the eggs, and apparently, his idea of fixing it was to throw away the burnt pieces. You are now left with irregular pieces of eggs. 

 "Looks yummy..." You took the eggs from him wholeheartedly. You couldn't manage to break the fragile heart of the former gangster head right in front of you. Yuta took out one of the eggs as well, munching happily like nothing ever happened to them.

 Your phone started ringing before you even managed to take a bite out of your breakfast.

 "Oh no. I've got to go!" You stood up from your seat and struggled to find your coat from where you'd left it earlier. You grabbed your suitcase and gave your husband and Yena a kiss goodbye.

 "But… breakfast..." Yuta was disappointed to see you go, so you gave him one last kiss on the lips before saying, "Bring them to work for me later. I forgot I had a meeting at 7."

 You wore your shoes quickly and headed straight to the door. Before you left, though, you shouted, "Yuta, can you go get groceries later after you brought me my lunch to work?"

 Like a puppy, he replied, "Yes, dear. I love you!"

 "Love you too, baby! Give Yena lots of kisses for me!" Before Yuta gets the chance to answer you, you had already slammed the door and ran off to the bus stop to get to work.

///

"Hey, kid."

When you're gone, Yuta likes to play pretend with your kid.

 "You think you're tough enough for the job?"

 He spoke as he dresses Yena up after a bath.

 "We don't take kindly to rookies around here, kid. Are you sure you're man enough to take on the whole Kuma group?"

 Yena answered with a giggle, a gesture that made Yuta's heart melt every single time. It was a habit that Yena picked up from you, and he was glad that she did.

 "Alright. Suit yourself. You will be in charge of holding daddy's grocery basket while we go deliver mommy's lunch. You think you can handle that, kiddo?"

 Yena started babbling some incoherent words, but Yuta took that as her daughter taking up the challenge. She's such a go-getter.

 And after strapping Yena to her carrier, the two of them went on a mission to finish delivering mommy's lunch and buy groceries in one piece. A feat that Yuta wasn't expecting to achieve that day.

 ///

 Yuta had successfully done his task for that day. At the same time, Yena fell asleep in the middle of shopping, so he had an extra time of peace to himself. That is until a group of men came running in his direction. He tried to turn around, whistling as he silently gets away from that situation. If one of them recognizes him, he's dead.

 "Boss!"

 Yuta resisted the urge to facepalm as he heard someone call his former name. He slightly turned around to see Shotaro, his former apprentice, right before the group disbanded. The eyes of the guys chasing Taro went dark. It seems like they have been looking for Yuta through Shotaro for a long time now. He had made sure to hide very well until someone recognized his tattoos showing his plain white shirt.

 "I'm not sure who you're talking about. I'm Nakamoto Yuta, unemployed, full-time househusband."

 "You're the infamous Akuma. You're him, right? The head of the 127 group?"

 Yuta shook his head and flashed a friendly smile.

 "I don't know who you're talking about. If you'll excuse me, you'll wake my daughter up."

 Yuta tried to turn around again, but one of the goons grabbed his shirt. It caused him to move out of balance, almost waking Yena up.

 His attitude started to change. There was a rumor that you should never touch the Akuma unless you wanted to die a horrible death. Now that he has Yena with him, that rule extends to her as well.

 He sighs, and he motioned Shotaro to come to him. The younger guy hesitated at first, but he willingly obliged. Yuta started taking off Yena's carrier and strapped them into Taro's body. 

 "If something happens to her or that basket of groceries, consider yourself dead."

 Yuta warned as he instructed Taro to walk away as far as possible. His fatherly instincts kick in, which the other guy didn't realize made Yuta even more dangerous.

 Yuta cracked his fingers and replaced his toothy smile with something more sinister. It is what they call the smile of death.

 "Now, who wants to die today?"

 ///

 Shotaro came back to the scene, horrified at the lifeless bodies that Yuta left on the sidewalk. Yuta went back to his giddy self again when he saw that Yena was still sleeping in her carrier.

 "You sleep so well. I'm glad that you also got that from your mother." His white shirt was bloody, but that didn't stop him from holding on to his daughter.

 "Taro, help me carry out those groceries some will you?

 ///

 The three of them came home a few more minutes before you get home. Yuta quickly washed himself to get rid of the bloodstains in his body. He also threw his clothes at the trash as they can't take the stains off of them in time before you get home.

 Shotaro just watched as his former boss, the most ruthless killer in Osaka, wears this pink frilly apron while he makes that night's dinner.

 "Would you like to join us for dinner, Taro?" The kid wanted to refuse, but Yuta was wearing that deathly smile of his again.

 "U-uh sure thing, boss."

 "And please, stop calling me boss. Not in front of my wife or my daughter. Just call me Yuta."

 Shotaro dared not to call his former boss by his first name. However, he nodded as a sign of agreement and helped him take care of Yena and prepare that night's meal.

 You went home to the fragrant smell of soup, a dish that had recently become Yuta's specialty. It was certainly better than half burnt eggs.

 "Oh baby, you won't believe what happened at work today. I--" You stopped on your tracks when you were greeted by another Japanese man that isn't your husband.

 "Oh, hi. Are you a friend of my husband's?" The guy nodded, smiling happily like a little kid. 

 Cute.

 Yuta then came out from the kitchen and greeted you with a kiss. However, even if he hid his face with his long hair, you still noticed tiny cuts along with his eyes and forehead.

 "What are those?" You stepped closer and tried to sweep his hair off his face. You were hoping to get a closer look.

 "Ahh, haha, those were from when I was attempting to install a shelf earlier. The screw got loose and hit me in the face. Right, Taro?"

 The kid looked panicked, but he nodded profusely like he actually meant it.

 "Alright. What's for dinner, then?"

 You knew that Yuta got in a fight again. You're not as innocent as he deems you to be. There is a reason why you were married to a former gang boss, after all. However, you saw Yena all cleaned up and well-rested. Yuta did an excellent job of taking care of her well. It didn't matter that he went back to fighting once again. It was in his nature, after all. 

 What matters is that every day, you will come home to him, Yena, and a bowl of freshly made soup after a day of hard work. That is all you ask for your househusband as of now.

#nctcreations #kdiarynet #kpopscape #kwritersworldnet #neoculturecafe #neowritingsnet #neoswitch #czennet #nct-writers #nct #nct 127 #nct u #nct yuta #yuta #yuta nakamoto #yuta nakamoto x reader #yuta smut #yuta fluff #yuta au #yuta scenarios #shotaro #soliverse

[armysantiny]

08:55 - 헨데리 (Hendery)

P: Kunhang (Hendery) x gender neutral reader - WayV | G: fluff, timestamp | Inc: voice messages, sickening fluff, Yangx2 mention, waking up in the morning, freshening up | Wc: 284 | W: none | R: G

Minnie’s notes: This may or may not have been inspired by my boyfriend and I sending each other voice messages for the first time-

Waking up that morning, Kunhang reached for his phone blindly; his hand searching across his nightstand while he yawned the sleep away. Finding his phone and unlocking it, he scrolled through his social media, a giddy grin on his face as he looked through y/n’s feed. Their relationship had been going on for just over a month and Kunhang was itching to hear their voice.

“Morning voice wouldn’t be too much, right?” Muttering to himself as he sat up and ran a hand through his dishevelled hair, the rapper chuckled to himself as he imagined y/n’s reaction on the other side of the screen. Hitting record, he sent his voice note, giggles lacing the end of the note (read: morning baby~~ did you sleep alright?). Butterflies and excitement filling his chest seconds later, Kunhang threw his phone on the bed as he went to the bathroom to freshen up, a stupid grin on his face the entire time – which had earned him a knowing smirk from his roommate. His roommate being the ever-so-annoying Liu Yangyang.

By his phone the instant his notifications went off, Kunhang bit back giggles as he read their reply, a voice note reply underneath.

Hushimyn: AHHHH YOUR VOICE IS SO PRETTY I’M IN LOVE

Hushimyn has sent a voice note

Bracing himself, Kunhang pressed play, eyes shut in anticipation. ‘Hehe morning love~ I slept okay thanks!’. Slapping a hand over his open mouth as he only fell deeper in love, Kunhang couldn’t do anything else but laugh, his heart overwhelmed with love to form any actual words. Could anyone actually be that cute?

Itsamekunhang: Have I said I love you? Because I love you so much. YOUR VOICE IS ADORABLE

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[chittapornswife]

- midnight moon café

genre: fluff, fantasy, mystery, slight angst, suggestive, baker!au, soulmate!au, proofreader!reader word count: 14.8K warnings: swearing, one mention of drugs, suggestive content, kissing. pairing: gender neutral!reader x baker!taeil song recs: ride or die - kai // dream girl - crisaunt

a/n: finally finished my first taeil fic a day late of his bday😭 first time making a soft moodboard & thought it turned out great! :D inspired by my lovely lovely friend’s moodboards @laurence-web​! also bc i couldn’t help but think of you, dedicated to @neonun-au to celebrate your one year on this god forsaken yet addicting site🙏🏼💗

synopsis: a curse befalls moon taeil, a successful baker and the owner of ‘midnight moon café’. for every thing he bakes, he is lusted after tirelessly by hundreds. one day, you stumble upon his café by accident and find yourself to be the only person who acknowledges that his baked goods are terrible. this leads you to try and discover just why you’re the only person who doesn’t view taeil with rose-coloured lenses...

Lo and behold, after a couple of years and trying out different techniques and interior designing, Midnight Moon Café had opened and was thriving in its first week. Taeil had chosen to name it after his own last name and to have the theme relevant to it as well. He was more than content with it as it surpassed any expectations he had had. He had no regrets nor any worries as he watched people take pictures and videos of his café after hours, sharing the beautifully sky and "up in the clouds" like place on their social media.

Yet with all of this happiness and good fortune, somehow Taeil had cast an evil eye upon his self. For struggling and walking to wherever the devil took him, an evil sorcerer aimed to find a place to call his own and to take revenge upon those who had wronged him. This sorcerer had been good at one point in time, yet the greed and selfishness that arose with the power he had gained from learning witchcraft had corrupted his mind. After a serious incident, he had been kicked out of the guild in his city and exiled. It was heart-breaking of course, yet he never understood his wrongdoings and instead sought out revenge and to practice his evil sorcery.

He happened to be walking down the same street where Taeil was standing a couple metres away, simply admiring the neon white milky sign of his café with a great sense of pride. When the sorcerer spotted him, jealousy and spite filled him at the prospect of someone being successful and happy, something that had been stolen from him. So, he cleverly thought of a plan and approached poor Taeil who was still in his flour dusted apron, ready to clean up.

“What a beautiful shop you have.” The sorcerer pulled up slowly beside Taeil, pretending to be in awe at the grand place.

“Thank you, it's a café.” Taeil warmly smiled at the man, noticing how he looked to be in poor health and clothes.

“Would you like something to eat? I have a lot of pastries left and would hate to throw them out.” He offered, seeing how this poor man would definitely benefit from all the leftover food he had. Besides, wasting food was a bad thing and he always felt so guilty for it, wishing he could simply donate the unused food to charity but knowing it would go bad very quickly.

The sorcerer’s eyes twinkled as he broke out into a gummy smile, “I would love to, that is very thoughtful of you.”

Taeil smiled, a relaxed happiness in his eyes as he excused himself to pack up the pastries.

He quickly stuck a couple random tarts and other baked goods in a paper bag, sealing it shut and bringing it outside to what he thought of as a poor man patiently waiting.

“Here you go!” He handed it to the poor man who smiled at him, revealing his missing teeth and pink gums.

“May you be blessed," The man put up his hand, making a mockery of religions for he believed in none, "Do you have any wish you would love to come true my child? I could put in a good word for you at the church I visit often.”

“Oh no, that would be too much. All I ask is for you to enjoy the baked goods and to live in peace.” Taeil attempted to be religious back to the man.

For some reason, the sorcerer twitched at the word peace and roughly asked Taeil again, “My boy I can not leave without blessing you. Now tell me what it is you desire?”

“That’s weird.” Taeil thought to himself as he watched the man become agitated. But what harm could come in telling a random man his dreams? Not to mention that most of his dreams had already come true with the opening of his café.

“I don’t think I have anything else I desire besides the success of this café....”

“Are you sure? Nothing that your heart aches for?” The sorcerer didn’t want to use any magic on Taeil to reveal his deepest desires as he was now being entertained by the stupidly naive boy who looked willing to share enough and more with a random man like him.

“I guess...” Taeil's voice trailed, a faraway look in his eyes.

“You guess...?” The sorcerer egged him on, his eyes gleaming.

“I guess it’s always been my dream to not only be successful but to have someone by my side to share the success with. To be able to love someone so deeply that we merge into one with our thoughts and hearts.” He smiled to himself with love filling his eyes to the point where it looked like he had someone he loved. Yet, it was simply the idea of having that perfect love that he was so deeply in love with.

The sorcerer grinned widely saying, “I will grant you that. You will be extremely successful and through your success, will find your one true love.”

Taeil smiled, simply thinking that the man was a bit odd but still kind as they both walked away from each other. Little did he know what was in store for him.

For just a week later, Taeil had lost all of his staff and had been cursed to create terribly tasting food that looked beautiful and created people to lust after him. His once golden hands were now as good as coal. All because he was in the wrong place and time, taking in pride and happiness in what he rightfully should have.

The hushed whispers annoyed you to no end. Normally, you wouldn't have minded it but today was harder than usual, as you'd had to communicate with a rather difficult author when proofreading their local traveling guide. Then when having to fact-check the locations and their descriptions, something that landed you in the gossip chain for being so unusual, you had stupidly tried on some new shoes that needed to be broken into so your feet had been killing you all day. Altogether, the quiet whispers, no doubt more gossip, only added onto the irritation of your aching feet, growing headache and sore fingers that kept typing and erasing, typing and erasing.

Choosing to become a proofreader had always been one of your dream jobs as you'd always taken great pleasure to point out the mistakes in everything you read, whether it be grammer, syntax or the usual spelling mistake. It wasn't a glorified ideal job for many, you were aware. But it paid well and you weren't forced to interact with your coworkers through brainstorming or group activities.

After graduating with an English major and a minor in Philosophy, you'd taken up the first job lined up for you, a perfect job at the Neo Proofreading and Publication Company. As happy as it made you, at times it was demanding to work as a proofreader when dealing with non-compliant authors and clients as well as the occasional rift between two proofreaders when an assignment was handed out. Yet, it was refreshing to take upon a new challenge after another and strive to complete your job by the deadlines. It was a joy to proofread and you felt immensely accomplished after every assignment so you kept going on.

Your office was also not the ideal workspace either as the proofreading floor was located on the basement floor and there were just a couple massive tables with sections in between, separating you from each other. There were no cubicles nor no offices as even your boss' desk was just at the very back of the floor, a bit further from the others. The only separate rooms kept the machinery such as printers, books, belongings and sometimes miscellaneous items such as little models of houses and toys from books that one of your colleagues enjoyed creating.

So the open environment wasn't quite your favourite but everyone minded their own business and it was beneficial that you didn't have to go far to ask if you could borrow an item from your colleagues. The only downside was that anything that was happening could be heard from everyone like if someone was calling their significant other or was being yelled at by their mother.

"Psst (y/n)!"

Lovely. This was another downside to being in an open setting, that you could be called upon by anyone, specifically the annoying workers from the publication company.

You turned to the sound of who was calling you. Of course, it was the intern from the publication company on the floor above yours, Ally. They often visited your floor, the basement really since the publication company dominated the proofreading side, to hand over some items or works needed to be proofread. It was plain bullshit most of the times since they spent a good half hour chatting with the other gossiping proofreaders that needed a break from their job.

Most of the people you worked with were all in their late ages, only a couple were your age and Ally had latched onto them, befriending many. It wasn't that you didn't like the people you worked with, it was just exhausting having to maintain good work and friend relationships and you really preferred not to mix between the two in order to avoid complications. But Ally was a fresh face which all the old and young folks loved.

"Yes Ally?" You didn't even try to hide the exhaustion in your voice as you looked at their bubbly self adorned in a multicoloured flowery dress and pink cardigan, a huge contrast to your black and white work suit.

They grinned, "I was just talking to Sophie and Matteo over here in how we should all check out the new cafe that opened up nearby here! It has the most amazing pastries and it's so cool because it opens at 10pm to 5am!"

Well that was odd but intriguing.

Ally's eyes shined as they continued, "Plus, the owner's really cute and so dreamy." They let out a sigh, the other two following suit, no doubt probably having accompanied her before.

"He's just as delicious looking as his food," A twinkle in their eyes as they continued, "But I've yet to taste." Ally winked while Sophie and Matteo giggled. You managed to hold yourself back from mock gagging, a habit that you couldn't stop doing when watching cringeworthy or extremely cheesy content. Couldn't they all just talk about this type of stuff during lunch break or after work? Must they speak about it during work hours?

"But seriously (y/n), the moon tarts there are addictive I swear. I don't know what he puts in those, I have to ask him actually, but they keep me wanting to come back for more and more!"

"Ssshhh!!!!" Manuel, one of the no nonsense proofreaders shushed her. Finally someone did.

"Except tonight we're going to be hitting up a bar or a club with some of the publication guys and gays, do you want to come with? It'll be fun after having to deal with boring text all day."

Sophie and Matteo sucked in a big breath at her careless words, everyone knew how much you loved your job and dealing with 'boring writing', so no doubt these two were expecting for you to blow up. But you weren't about to have a fit near the end of the day and at work too where you always kept to your own business. Besides, you were too tired to put them in their place.

"I'm good Ally, thanks though."

"Whyyyyy." They whined. You could feel Manuel's glare on you without even having to look his way so you purposely lowered your tone, hoping Ally would follow.

"I'm a bit tired, I've been running around all day so I'll pass."

You didn't include the classic line: "I'll join you guys another time/sometime" as this only encouraged them to ask you more often.

Ally frowned, wanting to argue more but perhaps feeling the intense anger from Manuel so they backed off and let you get back to your demanding work.

Thank god it was 6pm and you only had a couple hours left.

—

"Alright, thank you everyone!" Your boss waved to you all, creating a whole chain of voices to monotonously reply, "Thank you Mr. Lee."

Eagerly logging out, you checked around to see everyone leisurely grabbing their belongings and quickly grabbed your own. You did not want to spare time and to have to take the elevator with anyone so you always made sure to be quick when leaving.

Finally, you were off. Darkness was slowly creeping in as it was already seven and you were happy to head home. The work hours were a bit odd as you all started at nine in the morning and stopped at one in the afternoon, having an hour for a lunch break and to clear your mind and to freshen your mind from the morning. Then you all went back to work at three up until seven or sometimes overtime. That meant that you had fairly long days and it wasn't always so pleasant as you rarely had time to schedule anything after work.

But you only worked four days a week so having three days of vacation was still rewarding plus you could always just have a shorter lunch break and head home early. It was this type of relaxed environment that made this job worthwhile in keeping, at least in your eyes. Many of the folks who worked alongside you had worked for years and were comfortable with their lives, not wanting any change. Curently? You felt the same. It was nice to not have to stress over going through job interviews, new classes, and everything else horribly nerve-wracking in university.

You hurried out the main doors of the building, contemplating on whether to endure an hour and a half more and head straight home in these aching shoes or, whether to stop by the mall and switch out the shoes maybe eat some dinner there and just go home and relax.

If made more sense and saved you more time at home to deal with everything at the mall so you decided to just stop by there for a bit. Your feet hurt immensely, but there was a fire inside of you waiting to be released at the fact that you were off work. It was like a light switch went off as soon as your shoes hit the pavement outside and a breeze passed by.

What a beautiful summer evening.

The flowers were blooming alongside the sidewalk and so many people were happily chatting away with one another, immersed in their own bubbles, something you secretly yearned for. The bus to the mall had just arrived and so you tightened your bag on your shoulder and hurried before the doors shut.

Once on the bus, you let out a deep sigh of relief. Finally, only a couple of minutes until you were out of these damn shoes. Hmmm.... maybe a nice epsom salt bath would help any soreness for tomorrow as you were unfortunately going to be traveling more.

Plugging in your headphones, you let the beautiful arrangement of classical music take over your senses. No more grammar checking nor correcting jargon, all you cared about in the moment were the piano notes drifting through your ears and feeding your mind some peace.

The mall was actually really pleasant to be at. If you weren’t so tired from before, you would’ve had more enjoyment in accepting the free samples from this new restaurant opening and the small yet random jazz band performing across from a newly opened musical instrument store. Yet, you trudged past them in hopes for a pharmacy or even a dollar store to ease the burning pain in your feet.

To your luck, there was one just by the grocery store, carefully hidden from the normal views with a small sign hanging on the wall. You had quickly bought some light blue crocs as they would be very comfortable and easy to walk in, especially while your feet had polysporin and bandaids all over them now.

You had spent a bit longer than you expected at the mall, finding it difficult to choose what to eat and then while seated at a table far from the excessively loud noise, peacefully watched an anime and ate. Somehow, you hadn’t noticed the time pass by as you were so into the anime that when the mall's old european looking clock chimed, you twitched from surprise. Checking your phone, you realized it was now 9pm meaning that you had spent a little more than an hour at the mall.

Damn it. You were going to be late to do your nightly routine and sleep in early to give your feet an adequate amount of time to rest!

Quickly, turning off your phone, you got up and realized that the next bus that stopped the closest to your house was arriving in a couple of minutes. The bus afterwards the next one was going to come in half an hour or so and you knew you’d be home much more late by then.

You practically ran in your crocs, the sounds of the plastic slapping the floor drawing lots of attention your way. You didn't have time to focus on the people that were looking at you like you were crazy in your weird outfit consisting of a formal black and white suit and light blue crocs. But you didn’t really care, they were all strangers, bystanders in your life who you'd maybe by coincidence see one more time or never again. The only thing that mattered was your transportation home.

Once again, this must’ve been your lucky day as when you made it to the bus stop, very out of breath, the bus hadn’t even arrived at it’s scheduled time. Many people had been grumbling about the late bus near you and when you checked your bus app to see if it had come, you found that they were right, it hadn't yet arrived.

Thank god for that. Now it was just an hour ride and then you’d be at home, taking a nice, warm shower and snacking on some pastries. What a lovely thought and an even lovelier realization that you were so close to comfortable clothes and a soft bed.

—

With a merry pep in your step, you got off the bus as you arrived at your stop and thanked the driver. It had become more darker now, the sky being a clear dark blue with twinkling stars above. You stopped on the sidewalk to really take in all of the beauty in front of you. The illuminated streets and small shops buzzed with life and the narrow streets were as usual empty, perfect to have a leisure walk and simply enjoy the ambiance created by the wonderful people around you.

You didn't hate people, on contrary to what your coworkers thought of you. It was just much easier to be friendly and spend time with those who lived near you and those you would be seeing for a longer period of time. Your job was a place of professionalism and seriousness, not for slacking off and emotions. It was also just really warming to walk in your neighbourhood and meet with all the lovely and kind people in your area.

You lived in an apartment just down the street that was surprisingly much more quiet and reserved than the small shops situated just a couple of kilometres or so from it. The neighbourhood was nice and you didn’t have to go far to grab a morning pastry and coffee so you enjoyed living here. On one hand, you got your peace and quiet that you deeply valued, on the other, you had the small city life type of feeling when you walked by the shops and restaurants.

With a deep breath and a small smile, you nodded at some people as you walked by. The night wasn’t too warm either so you left your suit jacket on and enjoyed the way the straps were twinkling and the light laughter paired with glasses clinking to welcome you into the night. A strong cool breeze passed by, somehow knocking some important papers out of your bag onto the ground.

You collected the papers quickly but one paper was a bit stubborn than the rest as it kept being swept up by the wind and fluttered into this narrow alleyway. It almost felt as if the wind was teasing you to see how long it took for you to catch up to it’s great gusts. But you weren’t one to give up as you chased and chased the paper, finally snatching it up off the ground.

As you got up and shoved it into your bag, you looked around to see that you had somehow trudged down an unfamiliar and shady looking dark alley. When you turned around to go back, for some reason, some small scooters were all in a line coming your way so you were forced to walk towards what seemed like a more open area with soft lights shining ahead.

Thinking this was maybe some secret connecting alley to another road, you were surprised to come across a small but spacious area that resembled a miniature version of a town square. There were seats set up and you realized once entering the opening, there were also small shops stuck together revealing that this was some sort of hole in the wall area. Except all the shops were closed

There weren't too many people around which felt a bit weird and spooked you out a bit. The scooters from behind you had all passed by you and were making their way farther down the alley and for some reason you felt compelled to follow. Perhaps it was the fact that they were in a clump and it felt safer, or maybe it was the curiousity of what else was going to be discovered. It was still intriguing to see all these scooters in a file going down the narrow alleyway that had now gotten so small from the sides that the scooters barely fit through without touching the sides.

Somehow you didn't wish to bother any of them with questions as they all looked fairly serious and not too welcoming so you followed them and when they all came to a clearing, you were left in shock.

For in front of you was a bigger town square-like area than the one from before, with a fountain in the middle of the painted cobblestone road around it, and many other smaller shops surrounding the fountain with fairy lights hung up everywhere. It was a sight to behold in the night but you knew in the day it would be absolutely extraordinary. With little flowers growing in between the cobblestone and beige picnic benches on the far sides. Once again, the shops looked to be closed except this time, one was still open and vibrantly shone amidst the darkness around it.

You squinted from the bright white neon sign that read "Midnight Moon Café" and noticed the heavily tinted windows that contrasted and didn't give away the interior of the place at all. Wasn't this the place that Ally had been mentioning? Midnight Moon Café? That was a pretty funny coincidence that you had stumbled across it when you had shut Ally's invitation down. It looked to be very pretty, some vines hanging from the roof with beautiful white clematis flowers resembling a wedding dress' train.

It was definitely beautiful but you didn't have the time for it at all.

And you were reminded of this when your phone dinged from a random notification and you checked it only to see that it was now 9:20pm, far too late for you to be venturing out and trying a new café.

Yet, something inside of you was drawn to the beautifully white café and the mysteries it looked to hold inside. It was hard to fight against the feeling and you let out a sigh, deciding to just take a quick peek. Just one small look wouldn't hurt, you could always visit this place the next night.

It didn't spook you out like the previous shops and looked welcoming in a similar way to a late night ramen shop, warm and comforting but with an air of elegance.

Slowly approaching it, noticing that weirdly the scooters had disappeared off to somewhere, you felt a bit nervous, hating the feeling of visiting new places by yourself. But the area looked to be dead so the café was probably quiet and empty which assured you.

Boy were you wrong.

For when you pushed the doors open, in front of you was a sight even more shocking than from before.

A small staircase led you to a spacious and sky-themed room that seemed to have no end to it. The walls were painted a dark blue with white clouds and stars that looked like they were moving but you just wrote it off as really good computer projections. On your side was a long table encased in glass and filled with many different types of pastries, all looking so delicious and unique. This place was absolutely stunning to say the least.

But it was also packed with people like it was some rush hour for a restaurant. Except one thing you noticed as you slowly walked closer was the dazed look they had in their eyes as they ate and spoke with one another. It was odd but they probably were as smitten as you were with the place.

It was like the café of your dreams and because of that, you didn't even care so much about the amount of people and had totally forgotten about your desire to sleep early. Your feet had stopped hurting and you felt like you had taken something that was making you feel so giddy and full of energy. Gone were the eight hours of fatigue and now you were refreshed simply from the interior designing from this place. You hadn't even realized it but the roof above your head also had those same clematis flowers hanging from above, looking like white stars against the dark blue.

You wondered why dark blue had been chosen and not a fresh light blue which would be typical of a café. Either way it felt like a magical sleeping fairytale with how everything was set up. Even the tables and chairs were different shades of blue and the ground had some black swirly fog lightly rolling on top. This seriously felt like some Disney shit happening and it was incredible. A part of you expected Mickey Mouse or Goofy to pop out and announce the newest addition to Disneyland or Disneyworld or something.

You noticed however the one odd thing was that there seemed to be just one person working behind the front counter on the side. You walked closer to the counter, mesmerized by the place and unable to comprehend how someone had made this happen and how you really were standing there right now.

As you got right in front of the counter, blown away at how beautiful the pastries were up close, you noticed the man behind the counter tiredly ask, "Welcome to Midnight Moon Café, what would you like to order?"

Was this the so-called dreamy owner?

Perhaps it might be that your taste in men was different from Ally's or that he might be just having a rough day but this guy looked absolutely exhausted. He was more cute if anything, with his striped baker's cap, plastic face shield to ensure food safety as he baked, almond-shaped eyes hidden behind round glasses, a straight nose, thin pursed lips and he was adorning a dark blue sweater with a cute apron filled with clouds. The attractive appeal was there but with an aura of sadness that lingered as you watched the tired man have no choice but to work.

You pitied the poor man and found it hard to really focus on his attractiveness because of this.

Oddly, he looked like a reflection of yourself at work earlier. Except now you were obviously giddy from this discovering this new place and it being so close to your home that the exhaustion had magically melted away.

You noticed a name tag on his apron, a cute white cloud that read Owner Moon. Was this some themed nickname to go along with the café or was this his actual name? You didn’t want to risk asking him as he didn't even look your way when he spoke, which you would've thought was rude if he didn't look so tired.

Realizing he was probably still waiting on your response, you felt pressured and quickly ordered the first thing you saw.

"Uh I'll have a moon tart please and a caffé latte please." You skimmed over the selection of pastries on the side of you. It was for sure now that you had to come again and try all of the desserts. They looked so delicately and perfectly created, there was no doubt they all had to taste just as great.

"Sounds good." Was his curt response.

As sorry as you felt for him, you wondered why he was all alone and felt concerned for his well-being. Shouldn’t he just have closed the shop then? Or was he some sort of part-timer worker or even full-time worker being profited off of unfairly. Or you could be stretching it and maybe his coworker(s) were just on their break or attending to other matters. Regardless, a part of you wanted to meddle yet a part of you was beginning to accept the reality that you needed to get a move on it and seriously get home and go to sleep to prepare for the next day.

So once you paid and he surprisingly quickly prepared and gave your order which was conveniently packaged for takeout, you decided to eat and drink at home.

As you quickly made your way out, somehow fighting against the weird urge to stay, you thought to eat and walk at the same time to save you some leisure time at home considering you were late already.

You had high expectations for the taste, was it going to be very sugary or have the perfect balance of sweet and sour with the berries you could see hidden inside?

A thrill ran through your body and you shivered at the excitement as you walked up the stairs and out of the magical place.

But when you bit into the tart, you were majorly let down.

It was plain, like seriously plain as if it was made for someone who had a ton of allergies and couldn't consume sugar or merely made by someone who had lost their taste.

The tart itself was a pretty crescent moon shape with chocolate cream piped inside and little bits of mixed glazed fruit in between but the top had a beautiful white chocolate piped to look like little clouds and was dusted with chocolate powder as well as little bits of gold foil. All in all, it was so intricately beautiful that you were very disappointed that it tasted the way it did, like some plain dough and creamy textures, none of the sweetness not even a bit of tartness from the fruit.

You tried to look on the bright side though. Maybe this tart was just a defective one, who knows, you couldn't judge the whole café based off one tart.

So you took a sip of your caffé latte, hoping it would wash away the taste only to be met with more disappointment.

It was the same problem, somehow there was no distinct flavour to it, how could one mess up such a simple drink like this? The drink wasn't even bitter, at least that would've been something to complain properly about. Nor was it too sweet, it tasted like a twice watered down coffee with plain cream in it.

You were so upset as you quickly walked down the sketchy alley again that you didn't pay attention to your surroundings nor to how the alley was slowly and magically being cemented behind you, preventing you from turning around and going back to bring up the issue with the owner. The familiar rush to go home filled you again as you took another small sip of the drink, stepping out of the alley.

Luckily to your side was a trash can and although you didn't enjoy wasting food, this was an exception as you just couldn't bear to take one more sip nor bite.

As you walked the couple blocks to your apartment building, the café's magical interior kept reappearing in your mind. This stayed all the way to even when you got home, took a shower and laid in bed to sleep. The last image in your mind was of the tired but cute café owner and wondering if he was alright.

—

The next day was fairly hectic again.

Somehow, the publishing company had needed many extra pair of hands on deck for their last minute projects and you had been volunteered by your boss as you were pretty ahead with your own assignments and already going to be adventuring out for work anyways.

Begrudgingly, you had gotten up and helped them out, running around (thankfully in comfortable shoes) and helped the distressed publishers and workers.

It was a better day however, as Mr. Lee had let you go home early as a way of saying thanks so you were all comfortable currently in your apartment, wrapped up in a blanket and pajamas as you watched a cooking show.

Living by yourself had encouraged you to cook more at home, realizing how how fast the expenses of takeout and delivery added up. But you enjoyed cooking for yourself and felt it was like a reward after a very long day at work. It was your comfort hobby now and one that you treasured secretly in your heart.

The weather outside had randomly turned rainy and cloudy, despite it being so sunny a couple hours before.

The whole day you had been fantasizing about the café, unable to get it out of your mind and the negative experience of what you had ate imprinted in your mind. You'd hoped to go again today but the weather looked too miserable. The place opened at 10pm anyways, which was plenty of time for the weather to get better or to prepare yourself before going again.

Over the next couple of hours, you researched as much as you could about the café, wondering what the reviews were and if anyone had experienced something similar to you.

To your amazement, all of the reviews were extremely positive and filled with love! You noticed that half of the people commented on the owner's looks as well, talking about how good-looking and kind he was. Whenever commenting on food, most people talked about how the pastries were so good that they felt compelled to go back and eat some more.

It was oddly suspicious that this guy had no negative reviews at all, no matter how much you scrolled down to read. Could it be that he was paying for only positive comments to gain hype for his café?

Now you were way too curious to not go again later on in the night.

The rain had lessened around 9:30pm and was now a gentle mist so it seemed like it would be okay to go out for a short while.

Changing into some joggers, a long-sleeved shirt, a puffy jacket and a cute knitted brown hat just in case the rain was heavy again.

Somehow, the distance to the alley seemed shorter and trudging down the dark and damp alley felt a little less scary now, knowing what was coming up.

The familiar small square had a couple of people in it that were all hooded which was a bit spooky but you tried not to think too much about it.

Soon enough, the big town square came into view and it's one of a kind almost rural beauty shined in the dark. The fairy lights made you feel like you were in some coming of age movie and some shops had their lights on which piqued your curiousity to check them out. Yet, you made sure to keep your eyes on the bright Midnight Moon Café that hadn't opened it's doors yet.

You looked down at your phone and saw that it was a couple minutes to 10 and you were alone in waiting for the café to open. You were lucky as that meant that you could talk to the owner today and ask him about his shop.

Aimlessly scrolling on your phone to pass the time, your ears perked up at the sound of a door unlocking and you looked up. As soon as the door was pushed open, you were met with the eyes of the man from the other day. And boy you were not prepared for how he looked today.

First off, he didn't have his baker's cap on and you had failed to notice the other day, the hair that had been slicked to his neck that would've revealed a mullet and bangs covering his smooth forehead. Now, his hair was all free and showed off how insanely attractive the mullet looked on him. The glasses were also gone as well showing him in a much different light to his innocent baker look.

Not to mention that your mind was going crazy at how he wore a gray hoodie, dark green joggers and converse, an outfit so simple and reminiscent of your teenage years. This guy looked very, very different from the exhausted looking man from the other day. Although he had on a face mask covering half of his face, he still looked to be filled with more life and it was understandable now why so many people fawned over his looks.

Your eyes were still locked on him in surprise as he looked at you unfazed, not even batting an eye to your reaction. Was that just a part of his personality maybe? Or was he just used to people staring at him?

For some reason it was hard for you to speak, you felt so nervous as if you were back in high school and this was one of the popular cool guys who you couldn't approach, no matter how hard you forced yourself to.

"Would you like to come in?" He asked, looking at your casual outfit and the way you were rocking on your feet. He probably thought you were cold, that was considerate of him.

"Uh sure, thank you."

He walked out and held the door open for you, your heart throbbing as you tried to not look into his deep brown eyes that didn't seem to care too much at your close proximity. You noticed the fresh musky melon-y hybrid scent coming off him and tried not to take a good sniff which would show your desperateness.

It was hard to date while being so obsessed with your profession so you hadn't really come across a really fine man like this in a long while. The closest you had was when the attractive interns would come by your floor for their orientations.

You walked down those same set of white steps, amazed at how clean they were. The people working here did an extremely great job to keep everything looking brand new. It was a bit weird to be the first person inside as the place was huge and had soft music playing throughout to make up for what would've been an excruciating silence.

"I'll be right back to help you, I wasn't expecting anyone to come in right at opening." The owner said as he took off his mask, revealing his handsome face underneath. His voice was smooth and made you feel a bit more relaxed.

He looked over at you with a slight curiousity in his eyes as he said, "Usually rush hour starts at 10:30 so this is a first. Help yourself to a table and I'll be right out in just a moment to assist you."

You nodded, not knowing how to keep up the conversation but wondering why so many people came by at a certain time and not right at opening. If all of these reviewers loved this place so much, how come they didn't come right at opening? It wasn't like it was too early or at a bad time anyways, the café was open past midnight until the early mornings.

But this was a perfect chance for you to mention the plain moon tart and latte. You felt some sort of pity still for the owner and didn't want to start any drama in front of customers.

In a couple of minutes, he was out and back in those regular clothes. This time he was wearing a simple short-sleeved white shirt which showed off his fair and lean arms.

However, now was not the time to drool over arms.

He walked over to the table you were seated at with a pen and paper in hand and for some reason the first thing you could think of saying was,

"What's your name if I may ask?"

Great, now you were going to seem just like those reviewers but even probably creepier.

But he didn't seem to be fazed by the question or think much of it, judging by his calm facial expression and instant reply.

"Taeil Moon." He pointed to his nametag with a small smile, "Many people think I use a nickname to go along with the theme of the café but in reality, it's after my own name."

You nodded, avoiding eye contact as to try and focus on what you were actually aiming to say. His name was beautiful though, no wonder he created a whole café surrounding it.

"Could I ask you something?"

"Of course."

You fidgeted with your fingers under the table as you focused on a loose tendril of hair peaking out of his baker's cap. You tried to think of the best way to word what you wanted to without hurting his feelings yet once again, you failed to do so under his gaze.

"How do you bake?" Was the unintelligible thing that came out of your mouth.

Taeil cocked his head to the side and licked his lips, seeming confused. You would've been more blunt if you were in his position and someone had fumbled with their words but he surprised you once again with his calm and patient nature.

"Are you meaning to ask for the recipe?"

You nodded, hoping you looked more composed than the intense freaking out going on inside you. How come yesterday had been different? You had been totally fine and not obsessing over his looks. Perhaps it was because he looked much livelier and not so exhausted that the pity went away and was replaced with desire. But you didn't want to be like everyone else so you attempted to push down the feelings that were arising.

He looked pensively at the table, putting his paper and pen away in his apron pocket.

“I’ve never really done this for anyone, but tell you what, you can be the first.”

He smiled, somehow the whole place brightened with his smile and a soft feeling fluttered inside of you at the angelic sight.

“I can give you a small baking lesson after hours if you’d like.”

Huh?

You raised your brows, unsure if you’d heard him correctly. Bake? With him?

He looked patiently at you, a spark in his eyes that you couldn’t decipher what it meant.

It sounded like a good idea still. Having a baking lesson could show you what he was doing that was lacking and making his food taste bad. Maybe this was your golden chance and besides, you were going to be spending some one on one time with him which sounded so lovely.

The nervousness had to wear off sooner or later and more of it was because of the way he looked at you now. There was a tender look in Taeil’s eyes and as you thanked him, getting the details to meet up with him on the weekend, you realized that that look never left his eyes when they were upon you. It only faded away as he helped other customers who had begun to swarm in now.

—

It was Friday night.

The night that you were going to be learning from Taeil the so-called renowned baker.

You had prepared yourself as much as you could before stepping out of your apartment.

The fit of the night included some cute dark overalls, a long sleeve brown tee and boots as the weather was muggy again.

Somehow you hadn’t been able to get Taeil and his calm nature out of your head in these past couple of days. It had been agony to wait for this day to come where you could see him and because of this, you hadn’t gone back to try his baked goods again.

A part of you was curious as to whether his food just didn’t taste good or if you should just wait to taste it when you baked together. Although, you weren’t a master baker yourself, you still knew the basics and would be able to tell if he messed up.

Yet, how could he mess up? He had probably been baking his whole life so surely this had to be a one day mistake or maybe purposely to see who was truly praising his food or had no taste buds.

The walk to the café had been peaceful, the pathway and alley seeming more familiar to you now. It was comforting and you felt more relaxed as you walked into the brightly lit up café.

You both had decided to settle on 7pm so that Taeil had enough time to prepare before opening and you had just asked to leave early from work, having done most of what you had to do on a Friday night.

It was nice to leave work early so you had made an early dinner at home and gotten all ready for the night that was to come.

And here you were, inside the café that was a bit more bare and had most of the lights shut off. Taeil had left the doors open for you and so you locked them behind you before following the small ray of light emitting from a set of closed doors on your far side.

It should’ve been spooky to be in the vast space by yourself yet, there was a more peaceful aura instead of the nervous and high strung feeling you’d had before. Was it because you hadn’t seen Taeil yet?

“(y/n), I’m glad you could make it.”

You faltered in your steps as Taeil opened the doors to the kitchen.

He was incredibly beautiful tonight.

Although his clothes were simple, a black hoodie and dark cargo pants, they added onto his untouched beauty. The light behind him illuminated his figure as if he was an angel and truly you believed that he looked like one except in black. Taeil was like a soft, dark angel and yours for the two hours.

You noticed as you got closer that his mullet was messy, as if he’d just ran his hands through it and you wondered why. Was he as nervous as you?

After all, he had mentioned that he had never done this before. But you found it hard that this calm man with a lazy smile in front of you would be nervous.

It was probably stress, thinking of it now, you felt guilty for asking him to teach you to bake before he worked such a long shift into the night. That was another thing you had found out, he worked the whole shift and didn’t work with anyone else. Surely, it was against many work-safe rules but you weren’t in any place to snitch on him.

“I love your overalls by the way, they’re very cute.” He commented as he held the door open, taking a long look at your simple outfit. You realized that you both were matching coincidentally.

You felt your cheeks heat up as you thanked him. He smelled insanely good again and you closed your eyes for a second as you passed by him, allowing yourself to indulge in his addicting scent.

“I have everything set up for us here, I hope this will go okay, I’ve never really properly taught someone how to bake.” He walked over to a drawer and pulled out two aprons. One was his classic cloud apron and the other had crescent moons all over it.

He handed you the crescent moon apron and then tied his own. A part of you hoped that he’d help with yours like some cliché movie scene but he went off to prep and left you to tie your own.

“Okay, today we’ll be baking my infamous moon tarts. They’re fairly simple and use simple ingredients as well so I think it’d be nice to teach you that as a starter.”

He guided you throughout the whole process of the creams and glazing the fruits and creating the dough. Taeil was obviously gentle and patient with explaining it and you couldn’t help but fall for him more. There was an undeniable attraction to him and the unconscious eye smiles, sweet laughs and grins that only made you swoon harder. But you knew nothing was to come out of it. He was simply being kind and allowing you the privilege to bake with him, the privilege that you were going to discover if he .

The whole lesson felt short even though it had gone on for two hours and when the tarts came out of the oven, then you and Taeil had decorated them, they were just as beautiful as when you had seen them in the display.

Now the important factor was the taste. Were they going to taste as horrible as before? God, you hoped not. Taeil had put so much love and care into his baking and you'd found yourself enjoying his company as if you both were old friends. Well, that is if one old friend had a huge one-sided attraction to the other.

As for the ingredients, they all looked similar to the other tart recipes you had found online so really, they couldn't taste bad.

You'd realized that you had been staring at the tarts in deep thought and Taeil had been simply watching you, not saying anything.

"I'm sorry, these just look so beautiful, I find it hard to eat them and ruin their beauty." You mumbled in a daze.

Taeil lazily smiled, his thoughts only being reaffirmed as he watched you picked up that tart, put it in your mouth and make an unpleasant face that quickly changed to a wide fake smile to be polite just for his sake.

"These taste good!" You put your hand over your mouth, straight up lying and regretting that you'd taken such a big bite of the dry ass tart and wondering how to get through eating the rest of it.

"No need to lie for me (y/n), I know what you feel."

You coughed, choking on a specific dry part as Taeil walked up to you, a small smirk curving on the side of his lips and his eyes gleaming.

You were slightly terrified at how he knew, you thought that he couldn't have ever, was this some kind of setup or something? Perhaps he had this weird sixth sense and knew you didn't like it so he had created this whole scenario so that he could cook you alive for daring to disrespect his food.

Although, he didn't look dangerous besides the weird gleam in his eyes. But now you were realizing that maybe you shouldn't have blindly accepted to spend two hours with a complete stranger. No matter if he was a hot stranger.

Yet, you had to admit this was hot as well.

Taeil was so close to you, one more step and he'd be touching you. Your heart was going a mile a minute as the small features on his face became clearer now.

A small acne scar ran across the top of his cheek, some tiny blemishes nearby. Tiny melanin dots speckled all over his face and jaw, so insignificant that you wouldn't have noticed until now being so close.

The once thin lips now looked fuller and were an irresistible pink, looking so soft and inviting. You realized his hair wasn't just a dark brown but also had what looked to be caramel brown highlights hidden here and there. Yet, it was the brown eyes that held so much care in them that you couldn’t stop drowning in them.

He was truly mesmerizing. But this was not the time to be fawning over him as you had now been caught in the act of faking to enjoy his pastries.

"You're probably confused by all of this so I'll try to explain as best as possible. I-I just seem to be filled with a lot of intense emotions right now and it's hard to not act upon them, so um could you please step away?"

His voice was so soft, so delicate as if the words he spoke were not meant for anyone else but you. You were the only lucky one to be graced with his attention.

You gulped down the remaining of the tart, unable to process his words and thirsting for water now to not only wash away the tart but also to cool your hot and bothered body.

Taeil brushed something off your lip, his breathing becoming shallow as his finger lingered on your bottom lip, simply rubbing it gently.

Good lord you were going to lose it.

"I don't think I'd be able to control myself being so close to you and I can't seem to walk away..." He trailed off, reluctantly stopping himself from touching your lips and holding the side of your face tenderly, looking into your eyes before flicking his attention back to your lips hungrily.

The sexual tension was off the charts and you were having a hard time comprehending his words but also at how fast this situation had escalated to. With a deep breath and all of the strength you had in you, you obliged, stepping back a couple steps in order to think clearly because your senses were just filled with him.

Taeil's warm hand fell from your cheek and your heart clenched at the cold feeling that went through your cheek, wanting him to touch you again.

What were these feelings?

What was wrong with you?

He walked over to the tarts as if nothing had happened, taking them off the tray and talking to you at the same time, while you stood frozen and in a daze.

"I can tell you're very conflicted right now and what I'm about to say probably won't help your current state but I do hope you take my words seriously. I've waited a long time for this and I'd hate to see you slip away."

His brown eyes looked up hesitantly to search your face that was void of emotion besides shock as his hands swiftly packaged the tarts.

"Those tarts tasted plain right? Same with the café latte you ordered a couple days ago."

Your eyes widened at his words. How did he know?

Taeil took in a big breath, his vulnerability showing through his eyes and he ran a hand through his hair continuing,

"This will sound stupid I know but I've been cursed."

Excuse me?

You both stood there silent, Taeil trying to read your face while you were processing his ridiculous statement. Was this guy for real?

"I know you might not believe me so I have no choice but to explain as simply as I can, but I have been cursed by someone whom I believe is or was a sorcerer."

Great, now he really sounded crazy. Your eyes shifted over to the exit door to the side of you that could be your ticket to freedom if he pulled some crazy shit like speaking about sacrificing or something. The hesitant trust you had placed in him before coming was dwindling, yet, you couldn't help yourself in trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe there was something going on and he had gotten an evil eye, maybe that's what he was trying to say.

No matter what though, there was just something about him that made you want to try and trust in him.

Taeil was extremely nervous now you could tell, as he was wiping and cleaning everything repeatedly while speaking in a rushed tone. This was very different from his calm and laidback nature you had seen.

"I don't know of his or maybe her name but I do know that it is a curse as all of the things I've been through lead to it. It was just about a year ago and I also was tipped off by an anonymous letter which I believe to be by the sorcerer indicating and gloating in what had happened to me. I think it started when I had been closing my café one day and a poor looking man crossed my path then had blessed me which was a lie as it was a curse."

He huffed, messing his hair again and giving up on the cleaning, plopping himself down on a stool and putting his head in his hands, his shoulders hunched.

"The curse is that everything I bake, no matter how I bake it, will always taste plain and unappetizing. But the catch? The poor man slash sorcerer had asked me what my desire was and I had stupidly told him true love. So whatever I bake and sell to people, they only taste the intense desire and love I have for wanting to find my soulmate and in turn they fall in love with me. I'm sure you've seen it in the people who come here, it's hard not to see it."

This was a whole lot to take in and you leaned against a counter, keeping a distance between the two of you as you tried to process his words. On one hand, it did make sense with the way people lusted after him and did the most, the reviews were a great example of this and even Ally.

But on the other, a curse? Curses were for children who loved fantasy books and escaping from reality. They were meant to be in books and movies so that you could imagine a world that contained magic. You had never heard of any sorcerer in the city nor of them existing altogether either. But you knew that Taeil did have an issue with his baking despite the ingredients being accurate and the way people weirdly desired him.

"If," His head perked up and his hopeful eyes shone as you began to spoke, "If this is true, then how do you lift the curse? And why are you explaining this to me? How am I involved?"

You crossed your arms over your chest, trying to appear a bit tougher yet unable to help the pity that ran through you as Taeil looked frustrated with himself.

"What I say next might be even wilder than the curse so just, just please promise me you won't walk away? Please promise me you'll hear me out?"

You knew you shouldn't be making any promises, especially with a man who believed in curses. But you couldn't help it, he just looked so sad and it tugged at your heart. If he needed help with his magical problems, then maybe you could offer it to him, depending on what it was.

"So the only way to break the curse is if I find my soulmate and if they fall in love with me then we kiss. It's not a huge thing but it has to be a kiss filled with love, not just a small peck or one done for the sake of the curse, it must have natural feelings to it as stated in that horrible letter. My soulmate is supposed to be the only one who is able to recognize the true horrible taste of my food."

Wait a minute....

"And so um, that's where you step in." Taeil got up and walked over to you, completely disregarding his previous statement of staying away from you and the silence being so loud as you pieced together what he was intending.

"You're my soulmate (y/n)." He whispered.

Your mouth was ajar as you stared into his eyes that had that tender look in them from the other day.

God this wasn't real. Where was Ashton Kutcher when you needed him to pop out and yell that this was a prank? Or the Prank Patrol? Where were they?? This had to be some bloody prank.

"Is this a joke? Is this a new way to get with somebody now?"

You knew your words were too harsh as he flinched at your rough tone, stepping away from your upset self.

"I wish it was..." He muttered while looking down at the ground dejectedly and he went back to the other counter to continue with his work, not even sparing you another glance.

"I can tell you probably think I'm a fool so I'll just stop now and just give you the option of leaving. I'm sorry to burden you with this (y/n), it's not a joke, it's something I have to deal with everyday as stupid as it sounds."

You clenched your fists together, not liking the difficult position you were in. It was just a kiss of course, but you didn't know his true intentions behind it. It only seemed like he was trying to get in your pants and this didn't seem like the calm and patient guy you had talked to so far. Your elders had always told you to be aware and stay careful of men who lied as they would just do it again and again without another thought.

Besides, even if a kiss didn't seem to be a big deal, you didn't know what you were getting into as he already seemed unstable enough to come up with this whole curse thing.

Yet, a foreign feeling fluttered throughout your body. You felt compelled to kiss him, to touch him, to run your hands through his soft looking hair and to feel his smooth jaw just as when he had been so close to your earlier. You felt the lust take over your senses and make it hard to logically reason what you should do.

It seemed Taeil could sense this as he looked at you with concern and stepped even further away than was possible.

"This soulmate connection is also supposed to be strong and make us both want one another very badly. I know you're struggling against it so I think the best thing would be for you to leave and come back another day (y/n)."

He was right. It was so fucking weird but he was right. These intense feelings inside of you just wanted to do so many nasty things to him that were clear as glass in your head and it confused you as you had just been contemplating on running out of this place a couple minutes ago but now wanted to stay? Even though Taeil was technically kicking you out?

"Y-you should go (y/n)," Taeil's voice was strained and he walked away even farther, "Come back tomorrow or Sunday. I don't want you to regret your impulsive and unconscious actions."

His hands were white from gripping the kitchen door that led to the café and with it being silent, you could hear his shallow breaths as he struggled like you.

"I'll, I'll see you, just call or walk in whenever you're free to discuss."

He was the first to walk away, leaving you sexually and mentally frustrated.

But the extended distance between you, helped to cool you down a bit and to think more rationally. No matter how badly you wanted him, you had to listen to the voice in your head that was reasonable and fighting against the urge. Taeil wasn’t yours in the moment, no matter what had been said. You’d only known him technically for less than a full day and so succumbing to your desires was only going to lead to regret and anger at yourself.

With all the willpower you could then muster, you went out the exit, wanting so badly to go back in and just hold Taeil, to merely touch him. But you couldn't give in, you had to think it through first and this situation just made your head hurt at how quickly it had escalated.

So begrudgingly, you walked away from Midnight Moon Café, sighing and confused at this bizarre situation and as to when you should come back again.

—

You decided to not to go during the weekend no matter how much your body was telling you to. Taeil’s words begin to ring even more true as you ended up spying in the alley to see all of the people still fawning over his feet with this dazed look in their eyes. The curse seemed to become more believable when you saw how when people took one bite into the Midnight Moon pastries, their movements slowed down and their eyes glazed over.

Another option you’d considered was that he laced the food with drugs but that would also mean that you would’ve been drugged as well. This was highly unlikely as the first time you had ate the pastries you had felt fine. The second time you’d also felt fine and only really felt a drastic change when Taeil had come into close proximity.

It should’ve been ridiculous really but you were slowly beginning to believe Taeil and had so many more burning questions at the tip of your tongue about this situation. Yet, you couldn’t bring yourself to visit him on your days off. There was a slight nervousness as to what was going to happen next.

If you truly were soul-mates what was going to happen? It wasn’t that you were unsatisfied with Taeil, curse or no curse, he was seriously an amazing person. You’d discovered after sleuthing or well creeping about him that he’d used people’s desire for him in a positive way by contributing to charities and having people follow in his steps.

Could it be seen as a wrong thing for some? Perhaps. But donating to charity was never wrong even if some were doing it while being under some sort of spell.

But you had decided that you’d have to face this head on and get to the bottom of it. You didn’t want to run away from things as at work you always faced situations head on so this was it.

Thinking it would be better to visit a bit later on when the rush died, you had stayed up until 2am. This was one of the first times you had stayed up before a work day. Honestly, you should’ve regretted it, knowing that you’d be yawning and being slightly grumpy throughout the day from the lack of sleep but one day wouldn’t hurt.

You had to get to the bottom of this.

Dressed in some long basketball shorts, a baggy tee and some sneakers, you made your way over to the beautifully decorated café. A part of you had dressed this way thinking that it would sfop the sexual tension between you and Taeil, surely in non-form fitting clothes you would be seen as less desirable but that thought went right out the window when you locked eyes with him outside the café.

The silence was excruciating as you simply stared at one another in want.

“I was wondering when you’d come back, I knew you would just didn’t know when.”

Lord have mercy. He was taking out the trash in a tight short sleeve white tee, black shorts for the mildly warm night and his classic converse that you were beginning to adore.

The two of you just stared at one another, all questions leaving your mind as all of your senses were just filled with Taeil. The fairy lights softened the atmosphere and made it feel like you both were either in a cliché romantic movie or that this was like a date. The latter was what you secretly hoped could happen one day.

“You, you look good.” Taeil muttered, a pained look on his face as he forced himself to look away.

“Thank you, you do too.” You politely replied, feeling hopeless as your plan had obviously not worked and awkward as to what was going to happen now.

He cleared his throat, his eyes shifting to anywhere but you and said, “Come in, no one’s here since it’s so late. I’ll make us some tea.”

He opened the door for you and somehow you managed to keep yourself together when thanking him and attempting to casually walk inside while your brain screamed at the close proximity and the intoxicating scent of his musky cologne once again.

But over the past two days, you’d trained yourself to control the urge, finding it much easier now to hold yourself from jumping on him.

“Oh wait, I forgot that my baking and cooking will taste bad to you.” He laughed bitterly.

“It’s okay, I’ll um make the tea.”

You followed him to the kitchen, the fresh memories coming back to you. Making the tea was quite relaxing and soothed you for what was to come so thank god you had done it.

Taeil sat on a stool on the other side of the counter, facing you and took a sip of the warm tea. His eyes closed from content and a peaceful smile etched its way on his face, making you wish that you could capture this moment and attempt to paint and fully preserve his raw beauty.

“So where should we start?” He grinned, seeming a bit more cheeky and lighter than before.

That early morning you talked and talked for what seemed like a short amount of time. Taeil had luckily not had too much business and had explained to you about the specifics of his situation.

You’d learned that when he had opened the café, it had been successful and he’d employed many people to work for him. But as the curse was placed, many people quit because of the tension and toll that the Taeil crazy customers put on them. This had left only Taeil behind and he had no choice but to keep the shop open. This was also why he had relocated in such an oddly remote location to prevent people from finding him quickly yet, that had seemed to fail.

No matter what he did, if he gave up on baking and did something else, the curse forbade him to take upon another career besides his current one.

He didn’t mind it too much though, he really minded the people more and after a while he had come to accepting that his pastries tasted bad.

The conversation was deep yet light at times and you wished to just keep talking with him forever. There was something about lat night conversations that was so intimate but also helped you to bond closely with the other person.

Your trust in Taeil expanded as he kept talking and being so polite. The more he spoke, the more you were making up your mind as to what you were going to do.

“Hey Taeil,”

“Mhm?” He was cleaning the dishes now, you realized he had an extreme habit of cleaning when stressed which you found adorable.

“Is it just one kiss? Will this uh tension wear off after?” You felt bold in asking and knew you wouldn’t have if this had been during the day.

His whole body froze, kitchen gloves on and all. After a couple seconds or so he slowly nodded, unable to speak.

“Okay then, I believe you in most parts and I think then I’ll kiss you as to release you from this whole thing.”

Knowing he was still taken aback, you got up and walked over to him, placing a hand on his thin clad shoulder.

Taeil turned around, his eyes wide as he took in your disheveled and tired state. You were simply drunk off the exhaustion and wanting to just stop the worrying and fear from what was to happen next.

Before you could do anything else, Taeil cupped your cheeks delicately, slight concern in his eyes as he asked, “Are you sure? You don’t have to, we can wait it out or-or find another way. I don't want to force you into this (y/n), those were never my intentions, I'm sorry."

You found it funny as this whole situation had done nothing but put a whole lot of pressure on your shoulders. But fuck it really, Taeil was the closest thing to perfection you had seen if there was anything in this world that was perfect. It may have been naive for you to think this way but a part of you wanted to just take the risk and see what the outcome was. It was thrilling to dive head first into this crazy world of curses and magical tarts. It was just a kiss, you kept telling yourself.

Just a kiss.

Looking into his eyes that held fear for the future, you hoped your own showed some reassurance before you took the leap.

You leaned in slowly, the moment feeling so fragile and precious. Taeil's hand moved to the back of your head, caressing it gently as your lips landed on his own delectably pink ones.

You were right.

Taeil's lips were just as soft as they looked.

You slowly moved your lips against his own, feeling the deep thirst in you take over and wanting to only have Taeil touch you for as long as it was possible. You could taste the tea on his lips, your eyes fluttering close as he deepened the kiss.

The situation intensified fairly quick as your hands slid to the back of his head, finally being able to feel the soft mullet and tugging at it, wanting more and more of him. Meanwhile, Taeil hand's slid from your head to your shoulders then to your waist, pulling you in right up on him so that your body moulded with his own, feeling the heat roll off him. You did the same, letting go of his hair and sliding your hands from his collarbone to his chest, just wanting everything you could have of him.

This moment was perfect. You knew right away now that you couldn't go back, this was it for you, he was it for you.

Grasping for air, the both of you stopped kissing and you slumped against Taeil's shoulder, the fatigue from not being able to sleep well these past few days catching up to you and feeling high from this blissful feeling coursing throughout you.

If every kiss felt this powerful and intoxicating then you never wanted to stop kissing Taeil.

"I didn't know that you were so tired, I would've just asked to meet up another day" He laughed softly, rubbing your back as you put most of your body weight on his.

You couldn't tell if it was the tea or simply that that was one of the most mind-blowing kisses you'd ever had but you were absolutely addicted to him now and feeling so sleepy.

Taeil put his arms around you, hugging your soft body so that he could touch you one last time before he parted with you.

"I guess the tension doesn't wear off huh." You mumbled into his warm shoulder. You could feel him laugh as his shoulders shook and he replied, "I guess it doesn't."

The both of you simply stood there in each other arm's, enclosed and not wanting to be the first to move away and face with the reality sitting on your shoulders.

"It's getting late and I know you have work tomorrow fairly early so you should go home."

Your heart fell at his words, not wanting to leave him and his touch. There were more questions on your mind as well now that had arised. Such as, where did you stand now? Were you together? Was his curse lifted and he could bake well again?

Taeil gently lifted you off his shoulder and kissed your fore-head, his eyes holding so much tender love for you that you wanted to succumb to your desires and kiss him again. If only, you weren't so tired.

"Come back tomorrow and we'll discuss it all okay? I think the curse must have lifted off now and you're way too tired to properly talk with so I'll walk you home and we can meet again."

A nervous feeling washed over you, what if Taeil didn't want you now that you had helped him lift the curse? Your shoulders slumped as he walked away to grab the shop keys to lock up. Time had apparently flown by and it was 4am now so he was closing up an hour early.

When he walked back to you, he noticed how dejected you looked and realized what must've been on your mind.

"I know you must have a lot of questions but one thing I can assure you is that I want you (y/n). I want you like no other and that was prevalent when I first paid attention to you the second time we met. You might be thinking that this is all because of that stupid curse but even if that hadn't happened, I'd still want you more and more after getting to know you."

He kissed you tenderly again, reluctantly pulling away and resting his fore-head against yours, his eyes fluttering as he closed them as he cupped your cheek, his whole body tense.

"You're the one for me (y/n) and what happens next is what you decide it to be, I'll be fine with whatever you decide."

"I only want to be yours and for you to be mine." You whispered, feeling his body relax and a bigger smile stretch across his face.

"I can't tell you how relieved I am to hear you say that." He gave a gentle peck before stepping towards the exit and holding the door open for you.

"After you." He gestured to outside, looking like so happy and you felt yourself mirror his happiness and walked out the door. Taeil locked up the door and put his hand out, letting you slip your own into his and feel the warmth radiating off him.

You both walked home, murmuring to one another like those secretive lovers you often saw roaming the streets, in their own bubble. You had found your other half and now you were never going to part with him. The future could hold whatever in store but with Taeil grasping your hand in his own warm one, making you feel like a main lead in a movie, you didn't care whatever happened as long as you were together.

—

A couple of weeks later

"Yeah, I dunno the Midnight Moon Café owner just doesn't do it for me anymore... I heard he's in a relationship now too so don't want to mess with a man who's off limits." You could hear Ally loudly whisper to your coworkers by the printing machine.

A small smile swept across your face and you tried to act like you were just happy about something to do with work.

"It's so weird though, you know? Like he was so dreamy but now I'm realizing he's just average I guess."

Your brows furrowed, not enjoying the way Ally was being rude towards your sweet boyfriend. You didn't know what got into you as you got up and walked over to the printer, your feet having another mind of their own as they rested to a stop in front of your terrified coworker and surprised Ally.

They looked at you as if you were going to tell them to quiet down but instead you simply smiled and whispered, "I still think he's pretty dreamy, I guess that's one of the reasons why I'm still dating him dunno. That or for his creative, kind and intelligent personality I guess."

Ally's mouth fell open and your coworker looked like they were going to pass out. You were never one to join in any gossip so this was new of course.

"Are you just saying that or, or are you really dating him?" Ally sputtered, eyes wide as they didn't believe your words.

"I guess you'll just have to see after work." You winked, reaching behind them and saying, "Sorry, just gotta grab something." Then you walked away, head held high and feeling so powerful for the way you had defended Taeil's innocent self. It didn't matter what people said about him or you, society's words shouldn't have such an impact. Yet, it was the condescending way that Ally had degraded Taeil to just his looks that really upset you and you had wished to see that shocked look on her face.

So it was worth it.

You heard a door close and knew that Ally had left, thank god. Before you were able to get back to work, a gentle tap on your shoulder made you jolt in your seat.

You turned around to see Manuel who had a smile on his face and he mouthed a thank you before going back to his seat. A big smile stretched its way across your face as you tried to concentrate on your work but failed to do so for the rest of the day.

"Than you again everyone!" Mr. Lee thanked you all and for the first time you enthusiastically thanked him back, quickly grabbing your belongings and excited to leave. This time it wasn't for the sake of avoiding everyone but for who was waiting for you patiently outside.

It felt like you were flying as you rushed to see the man who you daydreamed about in the middle of work and whom you wished you could be with every minute of the day.

Moon Taeil waited outside, a giddy feeling rushing through him as he checked his watch to see that it was now 7pm and you'd be rushing to see him. His life was back to normal now, his pastries tasting delicious to all, including himself. He'd also been lucky enough to hire people again which took a load of stress of maintaining the huge café off his shoulders. It seemed that the love spell thing had also worn off as well on people and instead they came by for the quaint and lovely hidden café and not him.

He though about his future with you as that was the only thing on his mind constantly nowadays. Sure, you two had only started officially dating for only a couple weeks now but it felt like a dream for him that he never wished to wake up from. So many people around him kept saying that he was in the honeymoon phase which would wear off soon enough but he couldn't disagree more.

The love he had for you was eternal and no matter what happened, it would remain in the deepest parts of his heart and mind. Sure, tough times were to come like when he had discovered that you didn't like that he stress cleaned and had advised to find a better way to cope. And how he didn't enjoy the fact that you stayed up late at night watching shows and dramas only to wake up the next day totally exhausted as you headed to work. But it was all a part of your love for one another.

And when he saw you practically fly out of the building's front doors, his cheeks hurt from the huge smile on his face and his heart burst with joy as you jumped into his open arms.

This was his forever, holding you in his arms and feeling his heart beat wildly out of his chest at the same rhythm with yours.

You were his forever.

And as you held Taeil as close as humanely possible, this moment was one you would never want to exchange with anything else in this world. Just by being in his arms you had forgotten any hardships from the day adn what you'd said to Ally, so wrapped up in your boyfriend and that fresh scent of his cologne you loved. You didn't pay attention to the people who stared at you, some reminiscent of their own loves and some envying you.

You fit together perfectly, your fingers, your bodies, your lips, your souls. And when you pulled back, facing a wide smiling Taeil, his brown eyes shining from the sun reflecting off them, you knew that this was it.

Your love was worth it forever and forever. And as you grew old, having children of your own and managing the café as well as proofreading, you never regretted it for a single moment that you had succumbed to your desires for once and taken a risk.

Taeil was the best risk in your life.

#neocafe #nct writers #cznnet #neoswitch #taeil imagines #taeil scenarios #taeil fics #taeil x reader #nct taeil x reader #nct imagines #nct 127 x reader #nct fluff #nct angst #moon taeil x reader #nct 127 #nct au #nct 127 scenario #nct 127 fluff #taeil moodboard

[kireijae]

fearless — n.jm x reader

summary: you start a new job at your favourite local bookstore in seoul, however no one cared to inform you of the very pretty delivery guy who comes once a week.

genre: twist (ig?) on a bookstore!au, nonidol!au, fluff, angst, some crack too

warnings: swearing, detailed descriptions of food and eating, edited but not very well, i cried while writing it (if i forgot any or you want me to add specific ones, send an ask or message me!)

words: 6k

a.n: i worked so hard on this oh my goodness it was like giving birth dkfjdsfnsd. but really i love this one a lot so i hope you all enjoy it because i did my best to do the story i had in my head justice. also! let me know what you thought of it!

m.list

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

The streets were quiet as you walked to the bookstore. Your bag was heavy in your hand and the sun danced around you, creating a blinding sort of glow on the pavement beneath your feet. You passed modern coffee shops and tall skyscrapers alike, buildings becoming more and more modern the longer you walked. All right angles, smooth surfaces and tinted windows glinting in the morning sun. It was only your second day on the job, but the route was already familiar to you, after having visited the bookstore quite often over the few years you’d been living in the city. 

The tingling sounds of the old bell above the door fell around you like snowflakes as you stepped inside. It was quite literally like stepping into another realm. The floor was paved with stone tiles, little shoots of green peaking up between them here and there. The glass walls were lined with creepers and bookshelves alike and the glass roof allowed for the rays of sunlight to poke through the trees’ branches above.

Your eyes were pulled to Jisoo after her voice called to you from behind the cash register.  “Good morning!” she said, eyes bright and her voice chipper.

She gave you a short list of things to do before opening the store while she did some admin in the back room. You rearranged bookshelves, tidied the seating area in the centre of the room, fluffing up the old embroidered cushions and wiping the coffee stain off the old wooden table. Once you heard the old clock near the counter sing its tune to signal the hour, you walked over to the door to flip the sign that hung there. 

The day went by slowly, with barely any customers walking through the doors. You were half asleep at the register when you heard the bell at the door ring and you sat up from your crunched up position on the old stool. You blinked a few times in an attempt to wake yourself up completely, but your eyes widened when they focused on the person at the door.

You nearly thought it was a scene out of a drama. He walked in, and you swore you saw a curl of wind rush past him and fuss with his hair. Everything around him went out of focus — all your attention honed in on him. He had a white t-shirt on with a loose, light blue button up draped over his shoulders. His hair had to have been dyed, with the depth of the black that coated the strands, but it was still glimmering nonetheless. 

You were paying attention to everything he did as he walked towards you, so luckily for you, you caught his words even through your haze.

“Hey, are you new here?” you finally noticed that he held a big cardboard box in his arms, fingers curled around the front, with the bottom of it resting on his forearms. 

You opened your mouth to answer, but before any sort of sound could pour out, Jisoo came out from the back room. You were grateful for the interruption, seeing as you weren’t sure you could function correctly just then.

“This is only her second day, Jaemin,” she said, throwing him a knowing glance from the corner of her eye and taking the box from him, “don’t scare her off.”

“Now how would I ever scare someone off?” he leaned on the end of the counter, eyes following Jisoo’s form into the back room again. 

The arm that wasn’t leaning on the dark wooden counter was hanging limply from his shoulder, his whole body conveying defeat from the forward curve of his spine to the slack of his jaw. 

“You nearly knocked over an entire shelf of books on your first delivery here,” yelled Jisoo, still from the back room.

“I was nervous!” he straightened his posture, his hand now flat in front of you and his arm outstretched, “Anyways I better get going.” 

He looked at you as he said it and you noticed the way the glint in his eyes seemed to dance and swirl around until he completely focused on you. 

“I’m Y/n, by the way,” you forced an arm out along with your words. 

He took your hand gently and squeezed it, “I’m Jaemin. I don’t think I’ve ever shaken someone’s hand before. At least not someone my age.” 

His tone seemed sincere, not teasing or judgemental — purely observational. He threw you a smile before walking out the door again. His light blue shirt billowing behind him when he opened the door. 

“Don’t mind him,” Jisoo said, walking out into the store again with a pile of books in her hands, “he’s insanely annoying, but honestly it’s either him or the old guy who smells like mould. That smell hangs around even after he’s gone.”

Jaemin came back a few days later, no box in his arms this time and a black hoodie on his frame. He usually came once every week with a box in hand and his bright smile stretched out on his face. Some days he was there and gone within the blink of an eye and other days he hovered around the store, gabbering about anything and everything. Sometimes he came into the shop empty handed: no box full of books to deliver. Jisoo seemed surprised the first time it happened, pulling a face akin to one a girl looking at her brother who just barged into her room unannounced would wear. She said nothing of it, however, so neither did you. 

One night at 9pm when you were left alone to close the store, he came rushing down the road in his company van and stumbled out onto the concrete. His hair was already messed up before the wind hit it, most likely from his running his hands through it as he so often did. 

‘How does it still look so soft?’

“Please tell me I’m not too late?” he said when he was close enough to not have to yell over the wind. 

“Hm?” you widened your eyes and leaned your head forward, trying to get yourself to pay attention to his words instead of the glow of his skin under the streetlights. 

“If I have to take another delivery back because I missed it Mr. Yoo might kill me,” he said, his eyes held a plea in them. 

“Oh,” you turned back, fiddling for the key in your bag, “Sure let me just open up again.” 

“You’re a lifesaver,” he said, setting the box down on the counter after refusing to let you carry it into the store.

“I opened a door Jaemin,” you said, scoffing at him from the door, “it’s nothing. Plus, it’s worth it if it means your boss won’t kill you— What are you doing?”

“I’m helping,” he was faced away from you, hands working at (aggressively) opening the package.

You huffed and set your bag down next to you before walking over to him. You peered over his shoulder, catching a whiff of his cologne. It smelled fresh but sweet. He’d already taken half the books out and piled them on the counter and one or two had fallen down onto the lower half that formed the desk at which you’d fallen asleep at least five times that week. 

“You actually just look like you’re making a mess, Jaem,” you pulled your bottom lip in between your teeth and looked up at him through your eyelashes.

He tried his best not to let the shy smile slither onto his face, “Then tell me where to put them.” 

He turned around, obviously underestimating your proximity. You were only about five centimeters away from him — at most. He could count your eyelashes if he wanted to, and goodness knows he was tempted to. Anything to be able to look at you for a little longer. 

Your heart beat sporadically in your chest, his energy making your system go haywire. You reached behind him to grab one of the books and pulled it towards your chest.

“You don’t have to help. I can do it myself,” you couldn’t find it in yourself to move, you hoped it looked like you were standing your ground and not like you were stuck in your place from the shock of being so close to him. 

“I want to,” you swore his eyes glitched — or yours did — because you saw him steal a glance at your lips. 

You turned around swiftly before you could think about it anymore, “Alright, it’s organised by genre but these are all just restocks so you can take a few of these to the back.”

It took less time than you thought to pack everything away and enter the stock on the system, nearly half the time it usually took you by yourself. Jaemin was a lot more helpful than you thought he would, and he was a lot stronger than he looked, too. 

“Do you want a ride home?” came his voice from behind you as he reached over you to put the last book on a shelf. 

“Uh, I’ll be fine by myself,” you said, walking away from the shelf to get your bag again and sling it over your shoulder.

“I need to say thanks for taking the delivery, though,” his hands were back in the pockets of his black skinny jeans. His gaze floated over to you, the bottom lid of his eyes slightly swollen with sincerity. 

“You already helped me put the books away, you’ve done more than enough—”

“But, I did make you stay late. And the city’s not safe at this hour.”

You sighed in defeat and readjusted your bag. You did hate walking at night and you’d been on your feet most of the day, so perhaps it wasn’t the worst idea to accept the lift home.

He grinned when you accepted and led you over to the van and you tried not to make a comment about getting into a van with a stranger.

You’d been driving for about ten minutes when you signalled for Jaemin to pull over in front of your apartment building. You reached for the door handle to let yourself out of the car once it came to a stop, but before you could, a hand caught your upper arm. 

“Y/n…” he trailed off, eyes on the bend of your elbow. 

You waited a moment, “Jaemin?”

And when he didn’t answer, you waved a hand in front of his face. 

“Hmm? Oh,” he blinked out of his state and looked at you once again, “Uh, never mind.”

Your brows gathered like the ruffles on a dress but you gave him a moment before he let go of your arm, “You’ve been watching too many dramas, Jaemin. What were you going to say?” 

He seemed taken aback at first, your directness not something he had anticipated. But then he smiled. 

“I was going to ask if you wanted to hang out sometime,” his shyness was almost gone now, your honesty pulling it away from him.

“And? Do you still want to?” 

“Yes.”

Your calm façade faltered when he handed you his phone and told you to put your number in it. His fingers brushed yours and you nearly shivered from the contact. However, you managed to hide it during your swift turn away from him. 

He texted you as soon as you got into your apartment. You sat in bed for hours, hands grasping your phone. You only needed to wait a few seconds at a time for his replies. Your body hurt from being pushed into the mattress in such an awkward position, but you barely noticed it. Until it reached 3am that is. You had to force yourself to stop replying after the third time you’d sent a  “goodnight, i’m actually leaving this time” text. You lay there for a  while before you drifted off, thoughts of Jaemin floating through your mind. 

Waking up the next morning was one of the hardest things you’d done in a while. Your eyelids felt puffy — you could feel them around your eyeballs everytime you blinked — and your neck hurt from being held up to look at your phone all night. The only reason you wound up going into work was because of one of Jaemin’s texts from last night:

“I’ll come by the bookshop after work sometime this week and we can have that date.”

“I mean hang out*! Unless you’re okay with it being a date? Bc I’d like that.”

                                                                            —

None of the drinks in the convenience store looked like the one you wanted, or even close to it. Green, orange and yellow bottles lined the refrigerated shelves and you had no interest in any of them. You’d been standing at the back of the store in front of the refrigerators for a few minutes too long and at this point it was probably getting strange for the cashier. If they were even looking, that is. You realised in your short time in the retail industry that the cashiers are never looking at the customers. Most of the time they were zoned out, or on their phones and not watching the customer’s every move, though it still felt like it. You faintly heard the door swing open, but your eyes remained glued to the drinks on the other side of the glass, and your thoughts most definitely not on your surroundings. 

Jaemin hadn’t been to the store in three days and he hadn’t texted you since yesterday. As much as you hated to admit it, that boy had got into your head and so, too, had insecurity. Though your rational mind tried to explain the number of reasons he hadn’t been able to come, your irrational mind seemed to be winning in thinking that he was tired of you. It was absurd that you were having this crisis in the middle of the juice aisle of a 7 Eleven at 10pm and you knew it. You also knew he probably had a busy day at work, he’d even told you last week how busy Wednesdays were for some reason, in fact he’d complained for almost ten minutes while you sat staring at the fluffy ends of his hair. But what could you have done to drive him away? Maybe it was the staring…

“This is getting painful.”

And now you were hearing his voice everywhere. It really was time for you to go home. Take a nap. Maybe it was exhaustion talking. After all, you had stayed up late talking to him last night and you had to get up extra early because you were the one opening the shop. 

“Just take the pineapple one.” No, that had to be Jaemin.

You whipped around then when the realisation hit you, however, you still stumbled back a bit when you saw it was his figure standing behind you in the aisle. 

“What?” Your brain was still cloudy from all the thoughts swirling around it previously, though they’d completely disappeared now that Jaemin was within your line of sight. 

“Take the pineapple soda,” he said again, a giant, perfect smile on his face.

“I don’t like pineapple,” you said, gears in your head finally working again, “I was looking for—”

“Please don’t say strawberry,” he hung his shoulders when he saw the sly grin that crept its way onto your face. “Why does everyone love strawberry so much? It tastes like medicine.”

He took you by the hand and pulled you towards the door, passing the very much unconscious cashier on the way out. 

“Where are you taking me to?” Your hand was limp in his, you didn’t have the confidence quite yet to be able to grip his hand back.

“That place never has strawberry soda, I’m taking you somewhere that does,” he didn’t let go of your hand for a second. 

You watched him as he walked slightly ahead of you, his hair bouncing as he walked. He was wearing a ring, though you couldn’t see exactly what it was in the streetlights’ glow. It was cold against your skin despite his own skin being warm as well. 

You walked for a few  minutes before Jaemin’s head suddenly perked up like a puppy who’d heard its name being called. 

“Do you hear music?” he asked, whipping his head around in an attempt to find where the waves of music were coming from. 

“It must be from the park down that way,” you pointed past Jaemin, to the road on your right. 

Jaemin grinned and pulled you with him down the empty road. The park came into view and you saw what seemed to be the remains of a festival. People were littered around the centre of the park, surrounded by cherry blossom trees. Some were gazing up at the sparkling lights tangled among the branches, and others were dancing to the music playing. 

Jaemin’s grin widened and he turned to you with bright eyes and a pleading expression on his face.

“I thought we were getting soda,” you said, with a smile on your face that told him there was no way you could say ’no.’

“Just ten minutes?” Jaemin bit his bottom lip in excitement as soon as he finished his sentence, he already knew your answer.

“Fine.”

By the time you got the word out, he was already pulling you after him to the row of trees. 

Once you were on the path, beautiful trees surrounding you, Jaemin slowed down and craned his neck to look up. He squeezed your hand in order to get you to look up at the trees as well. Clouds of pink petals collected around the branches, and the lights shone like stars among them. The music and faint sound of cars filled your ears and the smell of freshly cooked food floated through the air. 

“I’ve never been to one of these festivals at night,” you said, turning your head to the side to look at him instead.

Your words tore his eyes away from the view above, “Really?” 

You nodded your head simply and the two of you continued walking in comfortable silence. Every now and then, drops of water fell from the trees above you like rain from the clouds, most likely from the rain that had run through the city earlier in the day. The music floated around your head, it was a song you didn’t remember the name of but the beat was familiar and it caused you to nod your head to the tune. Jaemin sensed the nodding of your head and did his best to hide his smile by looking down at the paved ground below him. 

His gaze was brought back to you, though, when he heard a light giggle. Jaemin’s eyes followed your line of sight and found that you were looking at two kids dancing to the music. They bounced about with no sense of the rhythm of the music, giant smiles on their faces. He felt as though he was in the ending shot of a drama, a freeze frame centred on the main character, the background out of focus and the edges of the screen twinkling. Jaemin wanted so desperately to ask you to dance. Right there. In the middle of the park. And he considered doing it, too. 

Just then, your smile widened as the two children began twirling aimlessly and Jaemin couldn’t stop himself from speaking his next words, “Did you want to da-“

Luckily for him, the rain was able to stop him when it suddenly came pouring down. Both of you stood frozen for a few seconds, unsure of what to do, until you started pulling Jaemin back the way you came.

“How far is the store you wanted to go to?” you asked when Jaemin furrowed his brows at you.

“Oh, right,” he said, grabbing your hand tighter and walking in front of you, “It’s just around the corner.”

Eventually he stopped the two of you in front of a frozen yoghurt shop. It was devoid of people except for the cashier, who you could barely make out the silhouette of in the neon lights.

He pulled you in through the glass door and pointed over to the drinks glistening in the lights. The whole shop was cold, making you put your hands on your upper arms to preserve heat. You took one of the many strawberry flavoured sodas off the shelf, but you shivered at the even cooler temperature inside the refrigerator. You stood there for a few seconds, thinking before grabbing a pineapple soda from the bottom shelf and turning around to head towards the cashier. 

Jaemin was already sat at one of the white tables, facing away from you. The black material of his jacket hugged him comfortably, his body nearly drowning in the fabric. It made you want to wrap your arms around him, whether it was simply to get warmth or if it was to get to hold Jaemin, you weren’t sure.

You yanked your eyes away from him and went over to the cashier, setting the two bottles down on the counter. 

“You don’t have to pay,” he said from his place on a stool near the cash register. He didn’t even look up from the phone in his hands, “It’s on the house.”

You jerked your head away in surprise, “Excuse me?”

“Really, you don’t have to pay for it” Jaemin’s voice came up behind you, “that’s my cousin, he’s trying to get fired.” 

You looked back and forth between the two for a second, only just seeing the resemblance.

“What? Why?” you ask, not sure who to direct the question to, but that problem was solved when the boy sitting behind the register put AirPods in his ears. 

“My aunt will kill him if he quits another job,” Jaemin snickered, “He’s quit five in the last four months.”

You walked over to Jaemin as he spoke and you noticed two cups of frozen yoghurt on the table. 

“That has to be a record,” you sat down and Jaemin pushed one of the cups over to you. There was a curl of lilac coloured frozen yoghurt peeking out the top of the cup.

He chuckled, “Yeah, his mom completely cussed him out. But I’ve met the manager of this place and I would want to quit too if I were him.”

It was silent for a few seconds as you dipped the plastic spoon into the swirl of frozen yoghurt and hummed.

“You just don’t like him, because he stocks strawberry flavoured soda,” you spoke around your growing smirk before opening the can and taking a sip from said soda.

“Hey, at least I’m not the one mixing soda with frozen yoghurt,” he said, pointing to the aforementioned drink with a stern look in his eyes.

You narrowed your eyes at him, seeing through his judgemental facade, “You’ve never tried it have you?” His gaze melted into one of rather tense curiosity at your actions as you raised a spoonful of the frozen yoghurt to your mouth.

“No, doesn’t it feel weird?” he watched you with his confusion pulling on his brows.

“That’s the whole point,” you said, before following the spoon of yoghurt with a sip of soda again.

He quickly scooped some frozen yoghurt from the quickly diminishing supply into his mouth and then looked at you expectantly after swallowing, “So it’s like a chaser?”

You let out a giggle, “I mean kinda, yeah. Try it, but keep the soda in your mouth for a little.”

He reached out, took his soda into his right hand, and after opening it and giving it a curious look, he drank from it.  His eyes widened at the pleasant sensation of fizzing and bubbling in his mouth and he pulled his lips together as if sucking from a straw. You laughed loudly at his animated reaction and tried to hold back the ‘I told you so’ that threatened to spill past your lips.

“Wow,” his mouth widened, his jaw comically lopsided, and held the can of soda out in front of him, looking at it as if it had just spoken to him. He then looked up at you, his expression turning back into confusion, “Why are you laughing?!”

“I’ve shown this to so many people, but they’ve never reacted like you just did,” you put a hand in front of your mouth as you continued to heave out giggles.

Jaemin’s features softened as he watched your eyes and nose crinkle from your laughter. A smile etched itself onto his own face at the sight and sound of you laughing at him. Your cheeks were jutting out to make room for your smile and he was sure your laugh was the best sound he’d ever heard. He was glad he could make you laugh so hard. Glad that he had any positive effect on you at all, really.

While the two of you continued talking, the sky outside emptied itself of rain until it had none left. The sound of rain clattering to the ground outside was replaced with only the occasional drip from the roof. However, neither you nor Jaemin would admit that you’d noticed it, instead opting to stay in the bubble your laughter and conversation had made around you. That was, until a set of keys was hurtled towards Jaemin, who very nearly caught them. They landed on the floor behind him and he twisted around to pick them up.

“What the hell?” said Jaemin, throwing his words at his cousin who had just woken up.

“When you’re done, lock up for me will you?” he said as he picked up a backpack from behind the counter, “But don’t stay too long, Jaemin, if you keep looking at them like that I’m pretty sure your eyes will turn heart shaped.” 

Jaemin scoffed, watching his cousin disappear out the back entrance without another word, leaving only the lights above the refrigerators on. 

“Alright let’s go,” he stood up and held his hand out for you to take and you couldn’t help the shy smile that pushed its way onto your face. 

After locking up, the two of you began wandering the streets of Seoul, with no particular destination in mind. Jaemin kept your hand in his as you walked. The rain had stopped, but it had left blotches of water for you to dodge everywhere you went.

The boy next to you had become completely silent, the only sounds he made being occasional hums as you spoke. So eventually, you decided to let the sounds of the city enter the space between you instead of trying to fill it with your words. 

You made your way to your apartment, Jaemin still by your side. When the two of you stopped in front of your building you had the urge to lean closer to him, to close your eyes and let your lips meld together in a kiss. You wanted to be as close to him as you could in that moment, but when he only gave you a rushed ‘goodnight’ and turned away, your hopes sunk down to the floor of your heart. As you watched him walk away, you felt coldness set in for the first time since you’d met him. 

—

Three days after your date with Jaemin, an old man walked into the bookstore with a delivery box in his arms. You went around the counter to take the box from him and sign for the package, frowning all the while. The man left without saying a word, but when he turned around, you caught sight of what must have been a chewed piece of gum behind his ear. Your shoulders jostled in disgust as soon as he was out of sight.

A moment later, Jisoo appeared from the backroom. “Was that Jaemin?”

“No,” you said blankly before looking up from the box you’d just cut open, “but I have met the mold guy now, and you’re right. The smell does hang around after he’s gone.” 

“Jaemin better be dying,” she said, going around the counter to start entering the stock on the computer, “or I'll kill him myself for staying home.” 

“I don’t think he stayed home,” your shoulders slumped as you said it, “He probably changed his shifts.”

Jisoo hummed in confusion, signalling for you to elaborate. Her eyes were still on the screen but her face was aimed towards you. 

“He hasn’t talked to me since we went on that date,” you huffed, placing your hands on your hips. Lifting books all the time still hadn’t become any easier since you‘d started this job. You had, however, learned to appreciate air conditioning after the one day it didn’t work and you were reminded why no one else had turned a greenhouse into a store of some kind.

That pulled Jisoo’s eyes away from the screen, “You went on a what? And he didn’t—? Okay, no, fill me in,” she leaned her forearms on the counter. 

“Well, he asked me on a date that night that he made that late delivery, then didn’t specify a day or time and then found me in a convenience store and whisked me away on a really, really lovely date and then he didn’t call or text and now he’s most likely changed shifts because he hates me,” you took a sharp breath in at the end of your rambling.

“That doesn’t sound like something Jaemin would do,” she said, “I mean the last part, the late delivery and suddenly taking you on a date sounds just like him.” She paused for a moment, eyes cast down as she thought, “Have you tried texting him?” 

“Of course I have.”

“And?”

“Delivered,” you deadpanned. 

The bell on the door rang behind you and you rounded the counter to take over from Jisoo while she asked the customer if they needed any help. Before she left your side though, she sent you a sad, close-mouthed smile and squeezed your arm. 

That night, as soon as you’d changed into comfortable clothing and sat on your sofa to watch reruns of an old show, you picked up your phone and wandered over to your chat with Jaemin absent mindedly. As you opened it, you felt a slight pinch in your heart. Maybe being left on delivered was better.

—

You held a bucket above the lamp in the centre of the room, the plop from the drops of water entering it being washed away under the sound of the rain outside the store. You were in the process of trying to place the pile of books you had in your hand onto the table without letting the drops of water get on the lamp, when you heard the sound of the bell ringing above the door. 

It had been a while — maybe almost two weeks — since you’d last seen Jaemin; since you’d last talked to him. But now he pushed his way into the shop, bringing with him a whirlwind of the weather outside. 

You looked over to his form in the doorway: a box littered with giant dark spots in his hands and his hair nearly dripping from the rain despite the hood of his sopping yellow raincoat framing his face. 

When he caught sight of you, your arms holding books and buckets alike and struggling with both of them, he set the box down on the ground near a bookshelf and rushed over to take the pile of books from you. He set them on the old couch and helped you move the heavy lamp in order to put the bucket in its place to catch the water. 

“Thank you,” you said quietly, keeping your eyes away from him. 

“No problem,” he said, putting his hands in the front pockets of his jeans.

‘He has no business looking that pretty.’

“I’m sorry I haven’t been by in a while…”

You scoffed immediately, “You haven’t answered my texts in a while either.”

“I’m sorry about that too,” you can’t tell if he’s avoiding your eyes because he’s ashamed, or because he’s lying.

“Well, at least you don’t have to apologise for not reading them, because you most certainly did that,” you nearly felt bad as the words sprang out of your mouth, nearly. 

“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” his voice was weak, so were his words.

On hearing the words drop from his lips, your anger rose like a wave at high tide. 

“Oh really? Then what exactly did you mean to do, Jaemin? Because, taking someone out on a date — which, by the way, was the best date I’ve ever been on — and then leaving them outside their apartment with barely a ‘goodbye,’ and not calling or texting for a week doesn’t sound like you’re trying very hard not to hurt someone.” You took a breath, before muttering, “Not to mention the fact that you switched your shift just to avoid me.”

“Fuck, I know, okay? I’m so sorry,” he looked up at you then, eyes shining with sadness, the excited glow diminished to barely a flicker, “I know I was an asshole. It was the best night I’ve ever had and I was an idiot not to hold on to you and I’m incredibly sorry. If I could rewind and do it the right way I would.”

“Then why’d you do it, Jaem?” his shoulders slumped at the change in your voice, you were holding back tears and you’d grown so small in front of him. His arms nearly wound themselves around you of their own accord.

“Honestly?” he took a moment to collect his thoughts and arrange them into words, “I was scared. It sounds insanely cheesy and like it comes from a Taylor Swift song or something, but the way you made me feel was terrifying.”

“Great, thanks, you really know how to make someone feel better,” You rolled your eyes, a tear falling down your warm cheek in the process.

He didn’t have time to stop the airy laugh that escaped him, “I felt fearless. You made me feel like there was nothing in the world that could stop me, as long as I was with you.”

You wanted to hate him, wanted to yell that that was bullshit. You wanted to push him out the door and into the rain yourself. But, you couldn’t. You knew he was being sincere. You knew it, because that was exactly how you’d felt and it had scared you, too. 

“So you ghosted me completely? Because that doesn’t sound so ‘fearless’ to me,” you tried to keep your resolve until you got the answer you needed.

“Like I said, I was an idiot. It was stupid of me to try to get rid of someone who made me feel like that. I just — I’ve fallen for you so hard and so fast that it scared me, because by the end of the night I knew I wasn’t going to stop falling any time soon, I still haven’t. And then what if I lost you? What if I did something wrong and made you hate me?” he sighed, reigning in his thoughts and emotions, “So, I ran before I could fall anymore. I tried to minimise the pain before it even started.”

“So then, why are you here now?”

“This past week has felt like the place you go to if you’re too shitty even for hell,” he took a small step towards you, “I’ve already fallen way too hard to turn back. And plus, Jisoo called me and told me you were genuinely really upset and well, there’s not much I wouldn’t do for you. So, even if it means possibly getting my heart shattered by you in the future, I’d gladly do anything to make you happy.” 

“Jae—”

“Oh and Jisoo said she’d get me fired if I didn’t at least explain myself and I really need the money so— Ow!” He rubbed the spot on his bicep where you’d pinched him. He still held a smile on his face from his own joke. 

He was probably the happiest you’d seen someone who’d just been pinched, and suddenly, you couldn’t hide your own smile.

“Will you forgive me then? Or at least let me make it up to you?” 

“Depends on how you plan to make it up to me,” gathering yourself, you turned around to enter the back room Jisoo was always hiding in, Jaemin following you close behind.

“What about a date? I’m on my lunch break right now and I just saw this—” 

You stopped in the doorway and interrupted him, “I still have to work for another four hours, text me when your shift is over.” 

He nodded vigorously, “Yes, uh, okay perfect. I will! I’ll see you later tonight then?” He began backing out of the bookstore with a giant, goofy smile plastered on his face. 

Just before he opened the door, you called his name, “Jaemin! Actually text me this time okay?” 

“I swear I will!”

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© copyright kireijae 2021, all rights reserved

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[softsan]

NCT WEREWOLF AU (jeno)

🖇Bloodshot eyes (pt.2)

MASTERLIST

PARTS: | 01 | 02 |

WOLF PROFILES | Y/N’S NAMES

GENRE: Werewolf AU, Start crossed lovers AU, Angst (future)

QUOTE: “He selfishly wanted more of you. He wanted to explore what went through your mind. He wanted to understand your motives and what drove you.”

WARNINGS: Graphic scenes of violence, Blood, Injury 

Clouds as dark as the dead of night swarmed in the skies above. A loud rumble echoed throughout the valley while small critters scurried across the sods and soil. You gazed upward, watching the squawking birds fly furiously overhead. They'd most likely return back to their nests before the storm hit.

Due to the weather forecast, your journey back to the city was delayed. Usually, you wouldn't have minded. You were rather content spending your downtime at the military camps. The dirtied barracks held their own brutish charm, and the crass language the men threw around didn't faze you. You'd been raised amongst soldiers all your life; it was your normality—however, not this time. You couldn't wait to be rid of the pretentious Lord, his company proving to be insufferable.

Lord Sal was lazy and indulgent, consuming double the amount of rations while others went without. Not only that, he continued to recite his repetitive tales of heroism and how more men should be like him.

One day, you were going to whack him over the head with the hilt of your sword, and frankly, you weren't looking forward to the consequences that would be bestowed on you as a result.

"Three more days?" Jade spoke wistfully, leaning against a training post.

Jade's gear differed from the other soldiers. Unlike your soldiers, she didn't sport armor. Jade was a different type of fighter. She was agile and stealthy. The weight of chainmail would only weigh her down. Instead, she wore clothes of solid black. They worked both for camouflage but to disguise bloodstains, preventing an enemy from deciphering a singular body part that had been injured and using it to their advantage.

"Until what?" You inquired, sheathing your turquoise sword. You had been passing the time, hacking at one of the countless training posts—the brittle wood splintering with every blow.

You were conscious of the fact that on the night of the raid, the strength behind your sword had only just been enough to hold back a wolf. You needed to improve your endurance, strengthen your body. You weren't the kind of person satisfied with winning by inches.

"Until the storm passes," Jade said, tucking her braid inside her cowl.

"You couldn't possibly know that,"

"Call it a hunch," Jade shrugged.

You rolled your eyes, dusting your pants as you stood to your feet.

"You're going to visit him again? Aren't you?" She stated knowingly.

"He's my prisoner. I'm responsible for him until we reach the city."

Jade sighed, "Whatever you say,"

You set off, leaving the training grounds. You headed towards the camp's makeshift prison.

"Y/N," Jade called after you.

You halted.

"Don't get too close to him," Her voice stern, "Nothing good can possibly come out of it."

───

Jeno hated to admit he missed the tent he had been once housed in. He had been transferred to a barred cell that was predominantly dark, damp, and smelt of rot. He struggled to gauge the amount of time that passed. The only light that filtered into the dingy room was when the sun shone through the crevasse where the two walls met.

Jeno hung from his wrists, silver shackles preventing any attempt of an escape. He had long lost the feeling in his upper limbs, his torso sore from keeping his body upright.

To pass the time, his mind would drift back to you. You had visited him a handful of times, and yet, it still did feel like enough. He selfishly wanted more of you. He wanted to explore what went through your mind. He wanted to understand your motives and what drove you.

Despite being on opposite sides, from two feuding halves with decades of bloodshed between them, you were never hostile towards him. Instead, you were unexpectedly kind-hearted. You had tended to his wounds until they completely healed and smuggled food to him when the chance presented itself.

Jeno's eyes lit up, your sweet scent filling the air.

"Are you hungry?" You asked, a set of keys jangling in your hands.

You undid the padlock and swung back the rusted door. Jeno noted you were wearing simple slacks, loose and breathable. The kind of pants used for sparring. Oddly, you also wore padded weights around your wrists and ankles.

"A little bit," Jeno replied, "Have you ate?"

"You're the prisoner," You secured the keys back onto your belt, "And you're worried whether I've eaten?" You teased lightly.

"I know food is hard to come by around here. I don't want you skipping any meals in order to feed me." Jeno answered earnestly.

You lowered your head, hiding a smile.

You were the general's daughter. You led raids against his kind, and most pressingly, you had taken him hostage. Jeno should have despised you, but he didn't.

He showed you concern when others did not. He cared to listen even if it was just for you to complain. His attentiveness towards you was something you weren't accustomed to and was something you weren't sure you'd ever experience again.

You unhinged the lever, spinning the dial that coiled the steel chains. You loosen the chains for him, allowing Jeno to lower his arms by his side.

"Thank you," He slumped to the ground, a groan of relief leaving his mouth.

You approached closer, revealing a dented tin from the satchel fastened around your abdomen. You cracked the lid. Inside were roughly-cut biscuits.

"They're pretty bland," You warned. "I couldn't get my hands on any sugar to sweeten them,"

You fed him one. Jeno crunched on the burnt crust, not letting a crumb go to waste.

"Not bad," He swallowed.

You knew he was lying. You had tried one earlier, the taste barely digestible.

"Liar," You gave him another. In spite of the taste, they were still food, and as Jeno had said, food was hard to come by around here.

"Why do you wear weights?" Jeno inquired between mouthfuls, "They cannot be comfortable."

"They're not," You agreed, peering down to the pair around your wrists, "I'm strength training. They'll help me reach my goal faster."

Jeno tilted his head, "Do you constantly train?" He had seen them on you before.

He knew you wielded a sword and that you weren't any ordinary swordsman. You certainly out-skilled the average soldier on the battlefront.

"Acceptance within the military isn't an easy feat for a woman." You didn't bother to disguising your bitterness, "I've never lost a battle thus far, and if I want to keep it that way, I need to continue training."

Jeno's face softened in admiration. He had quite an exceptional mate.

───

Thunder roared, violently shaking the ground. A flash of blinding light pierced through the center of the base, stunning soldiers who had been running laps only moments before.

You ordered the soldiers to hurry and barricade their quarters. You had never seen a storm so fierce, and precautions needed to be taken at once to ensure everybody safely made it through the night.

You were the last one to retire to the bunker, scanning to make sure nobody remained outside.

"Quickly, close the door," Jade instructed, using her weight to pin down a table that was shifting backward due to the wind's strength.

Jeno’s barred cell should be sturdy enough to withstand the storm. You told yourself before closing the iron door behind you.

You twisted the lock sideways, before fiddling with the secondary safety mechanism.

"Madness, absolute madness." Lord Sal shook his head furiously, "Look what the wind has done to my hair!"

You did your best to ignore him, crawling to the other side of the room and settling yourself on a hammock. You laid down, shutting your eyes.

"Are we suppose to rest on those?" The Lord sounded horrified, "Where are the beds?"

"You insisted on staying in the bunker during the storm," You masked a yawn, "There are no beds in the bunker."

"Then I'll stay somewhere else," The Lord protested, planting his hands on his hips, "Somewhere that isn't so primitive,"

"Go ahead," You jested, "Try not to get blown away when you step foot outside."

Lord Sal sulked. He stepped in the direction of the door before stopping, "Perhaps, I can endure it for one evening."

"Too bad," Jade muttered under her breath, "We could have gotten rid of him once and for all."

You cracked a smile.

"Are you in any way addressing me?"

"Not at all, my lord." Jade feigned ignorance.

"I thought not. A penniless commoner like yourself shouldn't be so bold too so."

You could envision Jade reaching for her nunchucks in response to his comment. As much as you'd have like to witness her throttle him, you didn’t want her getting in trouble.

"Jade," You warned. Your eyes were still closed as you turned to lay on your side.

You heard her exhale.

"Fine."

───

Jeno cracked his lids, his eyes adjusting to a new day. The thunderstorm had passed, but not without making a crater in the roof. The rain had hammered down. His cell which had lacked the proper irrigation, flooded in result.

You slushed through the murky rainwater, unbothered by the filth.

He had worried about you during the storm's commotion. Unnecessary, as you more than capable of looking out for yourself. Still his worry came naturally, relief washing over him as soon as he set eyes on you again.

“Terrible that storm, I’m glad your okay.” 

Your eyes flickered foward. A gasp caught itself in the back of your throat. Some debris from the fallen roof had lodged itself in Jeno's chest and arms. You hastened to remove it, using your nails to dig out the fragments of wood and tile.

"Does that hurt?" Your brows furrowed in concern.

He shook his head, "It's uncomfortable, but unless it's silver, it won't hurt."

You continued to remove the chips, his skin healing almost immediately. The closer you leaned in, the more intoxicating your scent became. His inner wolf rumbled. The sight of your neck appeared more and more enticing.

No Jeno. No marking. He scolded himself.

He wondered just how much of the mate bond you felt. He had been told by his brothers that humans usually didn't feel the pull like they did. They'd gradually develop feelings over time. Still, you must have felt something. He had no other explanation on why you were so nice to him.

"Y/N,"

"Yes?"

He held his breath, anxious about what he was going to ask you next.

NETWORKS: @czennienet | @nct-writers | @neoswitchnet​

MONI’S NOTE: Finally, Jeno’s part two is here! I hope you like is chapter, I’d much appreciate a comment, like or reblog if you do. 

TAGLIST: @jaeshatshop | @leetaesnow | @taessandwich | @tacojisung | @dawnfeather | @chckencarlyn | @liendoesja | @peachescherryheart | @wykynct | @milkteajuseyo | @noonawriter | @ltyzennie | @benseviyorumdoyoungu | @anakinandbtsislove | @tyongluvs | @hoshitaro | @taeyaeongs | @moonylvi | @deliciouslyblue | @2-cute-4-school | @edgy-harrie | @ittybitty-amy | @4-sun | @lovestrucked-again | @changbinniez-princess | @sunny-nyu​ | @morklee1200 |

If you’d like to be tagged in this fic please send me a message.

#neoswitch #jeno #nct fanfiction #nct dream #nct #nct dream fanfiction #nct dream scenarios #nct scenarios #lee jeno #jeno x reader #nct imagines #nct reactions #nct au #nct moodboard #nct werewolf au #jeno fanfiction

[lebrookestore]

summer of seven years; j.jh

Pairing: Jung Jaehyun x female reader

side— yuta x oc!zhong ailiseu

Themes: summer! au but not really, summer fling, brothers best friend, heavy angst, fluff, attempts at comedy, food (pizza for this teaser), slowburn, this fic takes place over a significant amount of time, learning to love, writer! jaehyun, celebrity! jaehyun but its not really elaborated on

Warnings: mentions of a broken heart, swearing, protective parents, the reader is a procrastinator, food, a makeout scene that is suggestive and leads to more but absolutely no sexual content, betrayal, rejection, some unrequieted love

Wc: 30k

Summary: Coming back home was hard for both you and Jaehyun, but when you realize both of you are back in the same place again, feelings from three years ago rise to the surface, and you start to realize that the things you thought you knew when you were younger never quite played out.

Taglist: @danishmiilk  @radiorenjun @channoticedmeuwu @chicksung @jenosslut @kisshim @mrkcore @intokook @kkakkdugi @sungchanscult @0429a​ @sakurasangcl @rouiyan @kiri-ah @kariskwn @imdamnconfused​ @armysantiny​ @subhyuck​ @aprilpari​ @hannie-dul-set​  @jenoly-simp​ @hyuckefi​ @floraljae​ @dreamycomets​ @ppangjae​ @smoll-tangerine​ @sehunniepot​ @lesdevoeux

Authors note: i did it, i actually did it goodness gracious i honestly thought this fic would never end! i cut out a few unnecessary scenes, but all in all i am proud of it. This fic is for @kokonomi​ summer event!! and it is entirely based off taylor swift albums, specifically evermore and folklore!! it was a lot of fun writing it, and i hope you enjoy it! feedback will be greatly appreciated!!

prologue— the one

Jaehyun walked out of the airport, letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding it. It was about six in the morning, the sun was just barely coming up in the sky, painting it with oranges and blues. The sunrises were something he never really missed about the place, considering he was almost always asleep at this hour.

He hadn’t caught a wink of sleep the previous night, with his flight and all (not to mention the guy sitting by him. Snored a bunch, thank god for that window seat.) and now he doubted he would for the next twelve hours. 

It was ironic how the world had led him back to the place he had started at, his hometown. He had never particularly liked it there, which was why he left in the first place. He had been ready to find something new, something different. 

And he had been happy outside, he had done well, thrived even. The new environment was exactly what he needed after sending twenty-one years in one place. As soon as he had graduated, he had left, promising his parents he’d be fine.

He was Jung Jaehyun, the author that left his readers swooning over his characters (and sometimes himself). The author portrayed love differently every time which each book, giving every character a reason. Sometimes it was bittersweet, sometimes amazing, sometimes unfair.

Jung Jaehyun, who wrote love stories and didn’t know a single thing about it. 

Inspiration was a funny thing, it hit you at the most random of times. Being in the city after living for so long here, it was like he couldn’t help but pour his ideas onto a document. Inspiration fuelled imagination and his books were exactly that: figments of his imagination. He spun tales from his thoughts alone, fabricating them from his ideas.

Or in other words, it was absolute bullshit.

But people ate it up and so he must have been doing something right. He supposed that most loved sappy endings, and combined with the message of love persevering, it all worked out in his favour.

It was...odd being back home. He didn’t really feel the nostalgia yet, since the airport was a little further away from town. Might as well have been in a place he didn’t know much about.

Dragging his suitcase behind him, he walked along the footpath, waiting for his cab to arrive. Six-thirty now, still obscenely early for his taste. One of the things he boasted about was since he worked for himself, he could get up whenever he wanted, and work whenever he pleased. The problem was when he wasn’t working when he had no ideas to put out on paper. Those were the times he had to abide by the rules.

The sun was a little higher in the sky now, the normal glow he was used to coming back. The cab stopped by where he was standing and he got in, telling the driver his destinations. He had had to read it off his phone, after a year being away, he had forgotten a lot of things. Was his childhood home on the right side of the street- or was it the left?

Had he even ever lived in this place? It was so tame, so calm. Perhaps it was because it was a little too early, but in the city, the streets would have already been jam-packed at this hour. 

A lot could change in a year, he realized, sighing and closing his eyes. A year ago at this time, he would have been sitting in his apartment, typing away on his laptop as the words poured out of him. It used to be so easy, the way he could write book after book and not get burnt out. The way he could work and write as if the ideas never gave him a moment of peace.

Where had that gone? Maybe that’s why he had come back to where it had all started, to find it again.

“Come home, sweetheart, it’s been so long since I’ve seen you,” his mother said over the phone when he told her about his writer’s block. God, he hated that word, because it felt like someone had put a wall in between him and his work. 

You see, for all his twenty-two years, people had put him on a pedestal. He was Jaehyun, the boy with the looks that put others to shame, the guy who was on the soccer team in high school, the one who got a scholarship for college. He had always been forced into things and had to come out of it being the best ever single time.

Writing was the one thing that was his, the one thing he could control and work with without anyone judging him. Sure, people loved his work anyways, but it was the fact that it was his own talent, not something he had been thrown into.

But that came with its obstacles as well. Being such a young person in the writing scene was tough, some thought he was a one-shot wonder even three novels into his career. All of them even had the best-selling sticker on them dammit.

Still, it was real, even if there were people judging him. For the first time, they wanted him to fail, which only made him want to do better.

However, now as he sat on the leather seats of some dingy cab, he didn’t really feel as if he had made it. It was embarrassing, the way he was crawling back home when he wanted nothing to do with it.

“Sir?” He glanced at the driver, who cocked his head to the side at a familiar-looking house. “We’re here, sir.”

“Thanks.” He paid the man and got out of the car, pulling his luggage out and standing on the sidewalk. The cab drove off, leaving him alone as he took it in, before walking up to the porch of the house and knocked.

Jung Jaehyun was finally home.

chapter one: the cute pizza guy

If there was one thing living with your parents almost all your life taught you, it was how to sneak food around quickly.

They were, what one would call health freaks, which meant your diet growing up was extremely controlled. Burgers? Once every three months, candy was only seen during Halloween and Christmas, and chips might as well have been a myth.

Okay, maybe that was a bit of an exaggeration. You got chips once a month.

In short, they were the protective type, in all areas. Up until you were fifteen, you couldn’t go anywhere unless one of them was with you or your brother tagged along. This was how you learned how to sneak out, but that’s a story for another time.

As of right now, however, you padded across the floors, gripping a pizza box tightly as you approached the stairs of your house. Your parents and brother were in the living room, and you had been unpacking, but got hungry in the middle of doing so and you weren’t exactly in the mood for a salad.

Finally having graduated, you came back home for a few months to figure out what exactly you wanted to do with your life. You had missed it here, after three years of being away, and were thrilled at the prospect of being back. 

Minus the whole sneaking around.

You kicked open your door as gently as you could, walking in and setting the box down on the floor, before getting down as well, sitting criss-cross as you looked at your open suitcase in disdain. Eh, that could wait, you had a lovely Margherita pizza that deserved your attention instead. 

So you ignored the mess on your bed and floor, opening the box up and taking a slice, before realizing you hadn’t locked your door. It would be a little hard to explain why and how you had the slice with you, so you placed it back down and tip-toed to the door, clicking it shut.

It would’ve been a shame to have gotten caught when you had gone through the trouble of getting the cute delivery guy to come to the back door and make a fool of yourself in the process, only to get it taken away.

Dammit, he really was cute.

Placing your feet where there wasn’t any mess, you carefully navigated back to your original spot, next to the window. You stood there, hands on your hips as you sighed, looking around. 

Your childhood bedroom was pretty small, with a closet on the far end, a desk next to the window, and your bed near the wall. The window had curtains that were hot pink because you were an eccentric nine year old who loved colour.

And it was currently a mess, with your clothes strewn about and other items you had brought back. You had never really been a pretty unpacker, but it didn’t really matter as long as things went back in their places in the end. 

The problem was that your room had been like this for the past week you had been here. If there was another thing that stood out about you, was the fact you were a professional at being a procrastinator, so in the end, nothing ended up in its place anyways.

You glanced out of the window, studying the house on the opposite side of the street since it was the first (and only) thing that caught your eye. There wasn’t anything that interesting about it, since the houses in your area of the town tended to be pretty much the same, but there was a peach tree on the far side of it.

On the footpath stood a man, dressed in causal formal clothing. His right hand was wrapped around the handle of a suitcase, and for a brief moment, you wondered if he too was like you, a person who would procrastinate.

Or maybe he was a more put-together person than you were, and his things would be unpacked within a few hours. It certainly seemed that way, with the manner he carried himself. For goodness sake, the man was standing straight from what you could tell. No slouching, not even a little bit.

He also probably knew what he was doing with his life. It seemed as if everybody but you had the answer to that.

Huffing, you were about to turn back to your pizza, which was the only thing that didn’t judge you at the moment, when the man turned around, presumably to look at the place. 

You froze on the spot. 

His hair cast a little bit of a shadow on his face, and considering you were looking at him from above, it would’ve been a little tough to make out his features for anyone else. However, you knew exactly who it was, a person you hadn’t seen in a long time and one you couldn’t possibly ever forget.

Jung Jaehyun, with his stupid pretty face and ability to leave you breathless even when you were over six feet away from him. You could tell how he looked from where you were standing, his hair had grown a little bit, but it was the same square jawline and eyes you had known.

You had been seventeen when you so naively fell for him one summer, blissfully oblivious to how it would end.  He was your brother’s best friend at the time and had always been nice to you. He smiled whenever you met each other, he offered to help you when you had to write an essay you were struggling with and was all around the perfect guy.

Which was what you hated so much about him. He was perfect in every way imaginable, with his dimpled smile and features that were akin to a Greek god.  He was a year older than you, your brother’s age and the type of guy people looked up to.

That was three years ago, almost four. That one summer when you fell in love and crawled out with a broken heart.

chapter two: don’t cry over split coffee

There really wasn’t much to do in your hometown, you soon discovered after revisiting all the usual places that had made up your childhood. The arcade, the lake a little outside of town, the old high school, and that abandoned theater kids used to put up their poorly planned out plays for fun during the summer months.

You remembered doing the same when you were fifteen, with your friends and older brother and his friend. You had written out the play, but chose to be one of the background characters. Not that it mattered anyway, hardly twenty people attended the show.

Still, it had been fun, and the look Jaehyun gave you afterward when he complimented you on the story- well, the tenth grade you was absolutely enamored by it, even more so when you heard him tell your brother he wanted to be a writer someday.

You had impressed the future writer, your job was done. You had a smile on your face, and motivation to continue writing stories for short plays. That was how it all started, you supposed, with a little bit of infatuation and they want to please him.

Dammit, you were letting your mind wander again. Ever since you had happened to catch a glimpse of him from your window a week ago, he had been plaguing your thoughts. 

Cupping your mug, you looked over. Opposite to you sat two people, your old friends from high school. They knew about the whole ordeal and were the ones you had forced into acting in your play.

The girl was Zhong Ailiseu. She was that type of person who was undoubtedly the main character in the production of life, with brown hair that she had recently cut, which complimented her honey irises. Her voice was gentle, pairing with her smile that seemed to light up the room.

Ailiseu truly was what everybody wanted to be, she was virtually the textbook definition of perfect. In school, she was the star, always at the top of her class and the best at everything she tried and put her mind to. She got into one of the top colleges on a scholarship for fashion and was now back in town just like you. All she was waiting for was to be welcomed into that company she had taken an interview for, which she was most certainly going to get.

You sometimes wondered if she was even real. Perhaps she was simply a fictional character.

Her fingers were intertwined with the boys under the table. You had caught a glimpse of it and had put two and two together. Part of you couldn’t believe they had ended up together, with the amount they used to fight and bicker over the stupidest of things when you were younger.

He was Nakamoto Yuta, and the years away had definitely treated him well. Childish features had morphed into sharp, angular ones that left him looking pretty terrifying when he was thinking to himself because f his resting bitch face. However, that was all canceled out the moment he smiled. His smile was dazzling, to say the least, his eyes would light up like someone had flipped a switch.

Currently, his hair was a muted red colour, which matched his eccentric personality. He always had been an unpredictable little shit, which was what made his presence extremely entertaining. All in all, they complimented each other well.

The three of you got along like a house on fire, even after four years of strained contact with each other. You had decided to meet up at the coffee house yesterday and within minutes it was like you were seventeen again.

“I can’t believe you two are together,” you said, glancing from Yuta to Ailiseu. “Can’t believe you got over him stealing your cookies to the point where you fell in love.”

Yuta sent you an alarmed look, shaking his head rapidly. You realized a little too late that you weren’t supposed to bring that up, because she probably still didn’t know. Ailiseu’s eyes widened, before she turned to her darling boyfriend and narrowed them.

“I fucking knew you took them,” she grumbled and he shrugged, pointing at you. “Y/n ate some of them too okay!”

I’m friends with liars and thieves I-”

“I’m going to go get some more coffee!” You exclaimed, eager to weasel your way out of the situation. Ignoring their protests, you smiled to yourself, getting to your feet and walking up to the counter.

You placed the mug down, leaning against the counter and calling for the barista. He turned to you, a puppy-like smile on his face as he nodded, “How may I help you?”

His name tag read ‘Jeno’ and he seemed to be barely eighteen. Returning his smile, you ordered some more coffee, paying him on the spot. While you waited, you read off the specials listed out on the board and other assorted seasonal drinks.

Jeno came back with your coffee and you thanked him, turning around to return to your table and probably still arguing friends. Catching sight of the table, you walked over, but didn’t see the person directly in front of you and ended up walking straight into their figure, spilling a little of your coffee on your sweater.

While you weren’t thrilled that your pretty white cashmere sweater was now dyed a light brown colour in some places, you looked up to apologize to the person, only for the words to die in your throat.

Jaehyun stood there, staring back at you with an expression that mirrored yours perfectly. He was wearing casual clothing, just a tee thrown over some jeans, but he still looked breathtaking. Swallowing thickly, you cleared your throat and greeted him, brushing away the urge to fall to your knees at the confusing feeling that was creeping up onto you.

“Jae.”

Oh fuck, you forgot the Hyun part of his name. You only ever called him Jae when the two of you were messing around that one summer when you thought that you had him. Stumbling over your words, you completed his name hurriedly, flushing embarrassedly.

“Y/n,” he nodded, a small smile making its way onto his face, “Hey, it’s been so long.”

Not long enough, clearly. “It has! How are you?” You hated small talk. It was pointless and a waste of time. Jaehyun shrugged complacently, just like he used to when you were younger 

“So and so, decided to get back in town for a bit for a break.”

“A break?” You asked, shifting your weight from one foot to the other. Trying to ignore the sticky feeling of drying coffee that was soon making itself known on your arm, you pretended to be interested. 

He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, “I’m a writer, so I’m searching for an idea for my next book.”

“Right! I remember you wanting to be a writer,” you said, words dying and growing softer with every one. He studied you for a second, before smiling.

“Yeah.”

“Well, I suppose you came looking for Johnny,” you muttered, mentioning your brother. “He’s back at home.”

You thought about how Jaehyun used to take you here for dates, ordering your favorite drink while the two of you shared a cheesecake. Perhaps that was what hurt the most, even after all these years. It hurt because he had been perfect, he had done everything a boyfriend should have. He took you on dates, he would kiss you and hold your hand, tell you how amazing you were.

You fell in love with that part of him, and this place was just reminiscent of it all. It was funny how your hometown came with these memories you would rather forget altogether. And him standing in front of you was proof enough you hadn’t imagined him that day. 

“Actually I came looking for no one,” he said, “But I’m glad I ran into you.”

That felt like a slap in the face. You nodded curtly, “Yeah- me too.” Niceties were a given when it came to Jaehyun. You couldn’t flip him off if you tried, because he was always so nice to you, even when he told you it all meant nothing.

He had told you in person, under the big peach tree beside the porch of his house. He had been so gentle, that you didn’t even feel the impact of his words until you were back in your room, which was when you finally broke down.

No one understood why you were in such a terrible mood, nor why you looked so broken for the better part of the starting of your final year at high school. This was because no one knew about you and Jaehyun since the two of you had done an amazing job of concealing the relationship.

And because of your lack of proper reaction, he still probably thought that the break up- if it could even be called that- was mutual. It definitely wasn’t, he had taken your heart and let his fall until it hit the ground and was in a million pieces.

You hated love, despised it even, solely due to this man, since because of him, it was hard to love someone else. You had been so utterly heartbroken that even when you moved for college, you put all your energy into doing well and forgot about enjoying it.

Now that you were done with it and he was standing in front of you, it was like someone had ripped those stickers open again to show off your wound. 

“I have to get back to my friends,” you managed to get out, whispering a curt goodbye and walking away, back to the table. Jaehyun watched you leave, slightly bewildered at the sudden, unexpected exchange with an old friend.

“Sir? Are you ready to order?” The barista asked. Snapping out of it, he nodded.

“Yeah, I’ll have a…..”

chapter three: dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen

Giggles escaped you as you tried to smother them down with your hand over your mouth. Your fingers were intertwined with Jaehyuns as the two of you fled the party that was taking place in his house. It was his brother’s birthday, but he had done enough for it and had chosen to spend the rest of the evening with you.

He was finally eighteen, a proper adult and picture-perfect as could be. He had grown out his hair a little for the summer, so it curled around his neck adorably, making you want to thread your fingers through it.

He turned around to steal a glance at you, a smile briefing his features as he pulled you closer. You were behind the house in the backyard, and you could just about make out the scent of his cologne wafting through the dewy night air.

Summer nights always had an odd chill in the air, one that was inexplicable. Jaehyun didn’t have a jacket on him at the moment, so he settled for simply pulling you closer to him, wrapping his arms around your waist as he smirked.

“Hey you.”

Before him, you never really understood the concept of butterflies in one’s stomach and nervousness around that special person. But at that moment as you stood in his arms, heat crept up your neck as a whole damn zoo infiltrated your insides. It was almost laughable, he could do the bare minimum and it would affect you.

“Hi,” you said shyly and quickly, dropping your gaze to your feet. He chuckled, thinking about how adorable you were. 

“It’s nice out here, hmm?” He asked, keeping his eyes on you. He had quickly figured out how easily you broke down under his utmost attention, and it was amusing seeing you so confused and grasping at words. Nodding softly, you met his gaze.

“It is.”

Details were a little bit of a blur, but you remembered him kissing you right after, lips pressed against yours. The rest of the world was drowned out in the process, as your hands cupped his face, kissing him back.

His kisses were soft, you soon discovered after sharing many of them with him. They were gentle, almost as if he was scared of breaking you. If you had to describe what being with him was like, in the most childish way possible you’d have to say it was ‘nice’, but not in a mediocre way. It was nice in the way that made you feel fuzzy on the inside and a smile appear at the sight of him. Nice in the sense where you felt safe.

Of course, there was the added edge of excitement since he was older than you and your brother’s best friend. You felt flattered that he chose to spend his time with you, especially since you thought you were simply the little sister to him. It was exciting, to an extent, since your brother didn’t know about the relationship.

He was different, out of bounds but also so safe at the same time. 

All the summer nights he would sneak into your room, the days your fingers would be entangled in his hair as the two of you kissed, being with him was truly something out of a fairytale. The glances he would give you when your brother was around and the two of you were playing it off- the thrill had remained every single time. 

You should have known it was only a matter of time before the thrill would fade for him.

~

Jaehyun had been waiting for half an hour now.

He glanced down at his watch and clicked his tongue in slight annoyance. Johnny had promised to meet him here at six, but it was already half past it, and the movie was going to start any minute now. One would think that an old best friend would make more of an effort to be on time, but apparently not.

Thankfully, he spotted his old car pulling up a few feet away, parking and getting out of the driver’s seat. Johnny looked even taller than the last time Jaehyun had seen him, if that was possible, hair messy in a stylized way. 

And then the passenger door opened, and you walked out, wearing your brother’s jacket with a bored look on your face. Some of your hair had fallen out of your ponytail and in front of your face as you crossed your hands over each other and followed Johnny to where Jaehyun was standing.

Which prompted him to panic a little bit. You see, seeing you that day at the cafe had confused him a little, and also reminded him of how the two of you left things off all those years ago. You seemed pretty put together, which somewhat helped his state of mind, but when you looked up from your feet and spotted him standing there at the entrance of the cinema, you froze in place.

Dammit, Johnny did not tell you he would be here.

“Y/n! You remember Jaehyun, right?” Your brother asked, a bright, kittenish smile gracing his features as he walked up to his friend, slinging an arm around him. You pressed your lips together, wondering how to ask the question without offending anyone.

“I thought it was going to be just the two of us?” You tried to look as sad as possible about not being able to spend quality time with your oh-so-wonderful brother, but he just walked over to you and tackled you in a hug.

“Well, we can do that another time! You’re going to be home for a long time, we don’t know how long Yoonoh will be here.” He turned to his friend, blissfully oblivious to the awkward situation he had put the two of you in, “You guys were friends too, right?”

“Well-”

Jaehyun started to say something and your eyes widened in alarm, placing a hand on Johnny’s shoulder and shrugging, “Yeah, it’s just been so long you know?”

To this the writer frowned at you, raising an eyebrow in question. You ignored him, gesturing to the door of the cinema house. “We’ve probably missed the first ten minutes of the movie, sorry we’re late Jaehyun.” 

Even though your words were directed to him, you refused to look at him, instead,  dragged your poor, confused brother in with you and asking him to get the popcorn. It seemed as if you would be pushing the dude around a lot today, especially since Jaehyun would be there.

He now stood beside you, watching your brother walk up to the counters and ask for the snacks. “What was that all about?”

“He doesn’t know about...whatever we were.” You said, not quite knowing what to describe the old relationship as. Jaehyun had told you it was just a fling, but you couldn’t bring yourself to say it like that.

He raised an eyebrow, “Still? I thought you would have told him by now.”

“I didn’t talk about it after you broke up with me,” your voice had taken a turn for distant, and had a sort of finality to it that told him to not press for answers anymore. Accepting this, he didn’t say any more.

The evening was awkward, to say the least. The world had decided that you were its object of entertainment and put you in the worst position, sitting right next to Jaehyun. Why? Because your darling brother wanted that specific seat, but also wanted to sit next to Jaehyun and the only seat left was the one next to the latter.

The movie itself was pretty good, about two college kids who fall in love with each other with a sprinkle of misunderstandings and a pretty silver locket even you were envious of. You couldn’t help but scoff at the pretentious way love was portrayed in it, because you knew for a fact that not everyone got their happy endings.

Jaehyun glanced to his side, where you were slumped in your seat, practically engulfed in your jacket as you bit down on your nails, eyes trained on the big screen. The light illuminated your features in the dark theater, eyelashes casting shadows over your face.

Seeing you here, it really hit him that he was back in this place he called home. You were one of the memories that haunted him, and you probably always would. 

When he was younger, he lived life recklessly (in the words of his friend Mark, yolo), though he followed the rules. His point being- he never really thought of the consequences. As selfish as it sounded, he was there to have fun and be the best. The main character in his own little book of life, while everyone else were passer-bys.

When he was younger, he also hated history. To him, there was no point in learning about something that was in the past. It was old news, a story told too many times. It was stale.

And yet, here he was, back in his childhood, older and hit with the past again. The history that came with the town was right in his face, and he couldn’t ignore it. The past was bound to come back to him, and now as he studied your familiar features, he realized.

The past started with you.

chapter four: i have this dream you’re doing cool shit

The sun announced its arrival through your window, making you roll over and cover your face with a spare pillow. You loved your room, but in the mornings it awoke you rather violently, something you had forgotten with your time away at college.

Needless to say, you were not a morning person.

“For fucks sake,” you groaned into the plush pillow, curling your body to the side and facing the wall. You had to sleep with your knees bent anyways, since the bed was a little small for you now. You had been doing it since you were eighteen.

“Oi, sleeping beauty,” Your brother’s voice cut through your solitude, “Wake up.”

You felt the mattress dip towards the end, and you concluded at he had sat down at the edge. Turning onto your back, you covered your eyes with your wrist and sighed.

“Five more minutes.”

“What are we in school? Get your ass up, we’re going out.”

Those words were something you hadn’t heard in a long time, so part of you was intrigued. The other part was perfectly content with ignoring him and going back to sleep. However, you knew how insistent Johnny could be when he wanted, so you dragged yourself out, but before giving him a hit with your pillow.

Ah, siblings.

Driving him out of your room, you got dressed for the day. Summers in your hometown were cheery, the typical lemonade and watermelon type of season. The sun, while you despised it while waking up, was actually something you really liked throughout the course of the day. 

You jogged downstairs to get some breakfast before leaving, thanking your mother for the blueberry pancakes she made. It felt as if you were seventeen again, everything was almost the same.

Almost.

Johnny was talking to someone, and you couldn’t help but pay attention to the conversation considering he was sitting right next to you. You had definitely missed him at college, and being back with your brother well, you were his baby sister. He was the first boy you ever looked up to, and the boy you know would always love you back.

He wouldn’t be the last, but he would always be there. That was enough for you, in fact, being home as weird as it was, it was like a reminder that everything would always be the same around here. It would always be there.

“See you there,” he said, clicking off the call and digging into his own pancakes. You nudged him, plastering on a sweet smile.

“Who was that?”

“Jaehyun, he’ll be meeting us a little later.”

Your smile faltered at that, but you made sure it didn’t fall. Instead, you took another bite, using it as an excuse to not respond straight away and instead think about what to say. Taking a sip of your orange juice, you started.

“Uh, why is he coming? Not that I’m against it but I’m just there? You two are in bromance.”

Rolling his eyes, he stole a blueberry from your plate, “Because it’ll be just like it used to, you know? With you there with us. It was fun.”

An odd sort of wistful smile appeared on his lips as he played with his food. You couldn’t quite figure out why it seemed so distant and detached, but didn’t think too much about it. After all, you were busy worrying about how to deal with his best friend later.

You were regretting ever getting involved with Jaehyun in the first place because it made things so messy. It made you think over what you were saying, and rethink it. Contemplating whether you should say something or not, was just a big mess.

Another thing that was the same about this summer, Jaehyun was there.

But you’d worry about that later because you had managed to cajole Johnny into getting you froyo before you met up with him. So while he did that, you decided to venture into the little bookstore right next to the frozen yogurt shop.

It was a quaint place, cozy and welcoming. The owner was often seen typing away at her laptop, supposedly writing her own book to display up one day. You walked through the aisles, scanning the shelves for a title that caught your eye. Some were familiar, ones you had read when you were younger, and some you had never heard of, but one, in particular, made your eyes widen.

You can call me babe for the weekend by Jung Jaehyun.

It was as if your body worked on its own accord, feet leading you to where that book was. The spine of it was a light sage green, the letters were printed out onto the cover in a darker colour. His name jumped out at you from everything else. Slipping the book out, you turned it over to read the summary.

It was a love story, intriguing from what you could tell. You never really took him as a sappy love story kind of guy, but apparently, he wrote them. No wonder he was so popular, he catered to what people wanted. Biting down on your lower lip, you sucked in a breath, making a split-second decision.

Holding the book close to you, you walked up to the check-out counter, signaling for the owner. She got a little startled, flashing you an apologetic smile for being distracted, and shut her laptop. 

“This one?” “Yes please,” you said, and she smiled. You almost caught her name on the tag she wore, but she turned around to get a paper bag from the other end for your book. “Here's the bill.”

Forgetting about it quickly you paid, taking the bag from her hands.

“It’s a good book,” she said, and you cocked your head to the side. Blinking, she smiled sheepishly, “I’ve read most of his books, simply because I can brag about how I know him- Y/n right? We used to go to middle school together if I’m not mistaken.

It was then you noticed she was about your age, with brown hair that got lighter towards the end and honeyed brown eyes that complimented it. It definitely felt as if you had met her before, almost as if you knew who she was and yet you couldn’t quite place her.

“Yeah,” you said, “I’m sorry I don’t remember-”

“It’s fine,” she waved her hand nonchalantly, “Enjoy the book! It’s really good.” Opening up her laptop again, she seemed to be deep in thought, before looking back up at you. “Do you have a story?”

At this, you frowned in confusion, leaning against the counter and letting the pretty white paper bag hang from your wrist, “Story?”

“Nevermind,” she muttered, “It’s just a lot of people that come here- they have stories you know? Everyone has one, I think.” The same sort of wistful smile you saw on your brother’s face appeared on hers. “Maybe yours hasn’t begun yet, or maybe you don’t know it.”

Her words struck something inside of you, something you couldn’t quite decipher. Perhaps you did have a story and didn’t know it yet. Perhaps you were still waiting for it to begin. You nodded curtly, bidding her farewell and reaching the door when she called out to you.

“Y/n!”

“Hm?” You turned around and she had that same look on her face. Glancing down at her laptop screen, she looked back up at you.

“Tell me your story when you figure it out.”

chapter five: gold rush

It was an ungodly hour of the night, or morning if you were getting into technicalities. Your phone screen glared back at you, 3:00 am staring you in the eye in white. This was probably one of the reasons why you weren’t such a morning person because you were the idiot who stayed up till the ass crack of dawn.

You shut your eyes for a moment, before handing your head and looking at the book that sat in your lap. Jaehyuns book, of course, you had taken it upon yourself to start it that evening, but you never expected to be sitting there, with it all finished.

The story itself was a rollercoaster, it even had you tearing up at a few instances. There was no doubt that he was a talented writer, and deserved to be where he was.

He was just too damn perfect, the person everyone wanted to be and everyone wanted. This madness had started three years ago, and now that you were back home with almost everything the same, you couldn’t help but think.

A part of you was still stuck at seventeen, and probably always would be. A part of you, especially after reading his stupid book with a stupid happy ending and with everybody content, you couldn’t help but wonder if you’d ever have that. Why did it seem like everybody else got theirs while you were stuck with being bitter?

Everyone wanted Jaehyun. He was practically perfect in every way, absolutely beautiful. If they didn’t want to be him, they wanted him for themselves. Maybe that’s what made you feel so special when he chose you that summer.

You were among the mass of people who also wanted him, you soon realized. You weren’t all that special after all. You would forever be just one in the crowds, just another girl who was affected by his charms. 

You buried your head in your hands, sighing defeatedly. This was ridiculous, all of this had happened three years ago, more than enough time for you to make your peace with it and move on with your life. You thought you had, with college and everything.

But now you were back where you started, not knowing what the fuck you wanted to do with your life, forced into a past you didn’t want to indulge in. You were twenty-one, without the slightest idea of how to navigate.

Growing up shouldn’t have been this hard. 

“Oh god,” you scoffed humourlessly, wondering how you had spiraled into that train of thought after reading a romance novel. Ah yes, this was what two and a half years of college had taught you.

Wonderful. 

Pressing the power button of your phone, you squinted to take in the time. Only six minutes had passed since the last time you checked, and tiredness set in. Your eyelids drooped and you placed the book on your bedside table, yawning.

You’d leave the thinking for when it wasn’t three in the morning.

~

Someone had got to be kidding you.

You stood there, gaping at Jaehyun, who was busy talking to a few seniors. Why was he here? Why did the world deem it okay for you to bump into him at every place? So many questions that would never be answered.

You were currently visiting your old high school just for kicks, when you spotted him there, one hand in the pocket of his jeans and the other gesturing as he spoke. His attire was formal, a dress shirt and blazer. All in all, he looked good, almost annoyingly so.

You had been to the library so far, and now you regretted deciding to venture out into the halls you once roamed as a student. Rooted to the spot, you tried thinking of a way to get out of your current situation, but the exit was on the other end of the hallway, which meant you’d have to pass him.

Straightening up, you tried your best to walk past him nonchalantly, but he turned around just as you were passing, catching onto your figure and calling out to you.

“Y/n!”

Goddammit.

Turning around awkwardly on your heel, you plastered on a smile. “Jaehyun! Didn’t see you there!” 

Lying was a bad thing but hey, it wasn’t like your nose was growing any bigger. He raised an eyebrow, turning to face you properly and you averted your gaze. Okay, so maybe you weren’t a great liar, but that wasn’t the point. Swallowing nervously, you asked, “So what are you doing here?”

He took a few steps closer to where you were standing. “Since I was in town, the school invited me to give the kids a talk since I’m apparently a successful writer.” He gave you a small grin and a roll of his eyes with this statement. 

“Ah,” you said with your extensive conversation skills, “I’m um, here because I wanted to be.”

Jaehyun chuckled, “That’s cool too.” He looked around, cocking his head to the side as if calling you, “Come with me.”

“Huh?” You frowned in confusion, but followed him anyways, walking through the hallways and quickly fell into step with him. He pushed the doors open and both of you exited the school building, finding yourselves outside.

You walked a little forward, leaning against the railing. All in all the school seemed to be more or less the same from what you remembered, just devoid of the familiar faces you had once been so used to. It was funny, how almost all of them had left the town while you had come back.

You supposed that was the problem, everything seemed to be the same on the surface, but when you looked a little deeper, it was really very different. You had always been taught to never take things at face value, and that concept definitely translated into your current life.

But sometimes you wished you could take it at face value, your life would be so much easier that way, you were sure.

“So uh, we need to talk, don’t we?”

You looked at him, humming in question. He stood beside you, giving you a pointed look as if he expected you to know what he was talking about. Sighing, Jaehyun continued, “I mean, it’s been a little weird between us don’t you think? Especially since we keep running into each other.”

Pressing your lips together in a thin line, you nodded, looking away from him and sighing. “Yeah I’m sorry about that, I guess I just got startled seeing you here.”

“Why?”

You shrugged, “I don’t know, still adjusting to being back I guess and you were a pretty big part of it.” Your words were fairly innocent, but they held a deeper message that he could almost catch. 

It was true after all, you had met Jaehyun for the first time when you were nine and he was ten. You had been in the fourth grade, busy doing your math homework on the table in your living room when Johnny burst through in all his fifth-grade glory.

He had just come back from soccer practice, mud staining his socks and a bright grin on his face. He held a football under his arm as he yelled, “MOOOOM!”

You looked up from your work, playing with your pencil and frowning, “Shut up.”

“You shut up!”

“Kids!” Your mother yelled back, walking into the area of the house the two of you were in, “No screaming aren’t you supposed to be doing your homework?”

“He distracted me,” you justified, pointing at your brother, who refused to admit this, instead chose to ignore you completely. This wasn’t at all appreciated by you, but you had math to finish, which was arguably more important than Johnny.

“I got a friend,” he said, taking a step to the side to reveal another, slightly smaller boy standing behind him. Then again, Johnny had always been a little taller than most, so the new boy was probably at a pretty good height for being ten.

He had rosy cheeks and fluffy hair, giving him a scruffy look. He too wore a uniform similar to your brothers, a smile on his face that lit up his childish features and showed his dimples. He walked up, smiling at your mother since he hadn’t seen you yet.

“Hi Mrs. Suh! I’m Jaehyun!” He said, voice much higher than it was now. Your mother smiled, resting her hand on his head and patting it affectionately.

“Hi honey, I’m so happy to see you! Will you be staying for dinner?” She cupped Jaehyun's small face, bringing him to look up at her. He frowned in thought, “I’ll have to ask my mom! Can I please use your phone?”

To this your mother agreed, gesturing to her phone which was kept on the table where you were sitting. He skipped over, taking it and giving it to your mother, but first smiled at you, holding out his hand.

“Hi! I’m Johnny’s friend Jaehyun!”

You looked at him curiously, taking his hand and shaking it, the scene was rather amusing for your mother since it was so formal for a couple of kids. “Hi Johnny’s friend Jaehyun, I’m Y/n! His sister.”

He frowned, taking the phone back from your mother and punching in his own mother’s number. “You can just call me Jaehyun.”

“Okay-”

“Ignore her, she’s annoying,” Johnny stated, receiving a light, playful smack from your mother. Muttering out a half-assed, not at all sincere apology, the two boys ran into your brother’s room.

You met him at nine, your nine-year-old self would have never even thought about falling in love with him. Life was funny that way, it threw you for a look every time.

“I suppose that’s true,” Jaehyun said, snapping you out of your thoughts and bringing you back to the present. You blinked, realizing he was responding to you. “But whatever happened, doesn’t mean we can’t be friends, right?”

Oh.

He was thinking about the summer, oh god. That definitely complicated things, but you saw no flaw in his reasoning. Sucking it up, you nodding, smiling softly as you met his gaze.

“Yeah, we’re friends.”

chapter six: catching up

You were starting to think Ailiseu really lived the dream life, especially since she was complaining about her brother at the moment.

Without context, that would sound odd. How did complaining about one’s brother translate into having a perfect life? In that case, you should have been giving the Kardashians a run for their money in the luxury department.

But apart from being practically perfect herself, her brother was Zhong Chenle. Practically everybody knew that name, he was the current hottest celebrity and had topped the Billboard charts with his music several times. He was currently on everybody’s playlists, even your own.

Ailiseu was related to a celebrity, she was living the life. 

You had known Chenle, he was somewhat of a younger brother to you as well. When you were fifteen with her, he was a bright eyed thirteen year old with a shit-eating grin. He would follow Ailiseu around and was always singing. You would often see him with his friend, the two of them would prank you and your friend very often.

So seeing him in a magazine in a photo shoot, as the face of some brands, was a little jarring if you were being honest. He was once a geeky little kid, now one of the most successful, youngest people in the industry.

He left the town to pursue his career when he was seventeen, moving to Korea to do so. Sometimes you felt a little inferior, you still didn’t know what you were doing with your life and he was out there making a name for himself.

“He hung up on me because he was going to dinner with some Celebrity Chef- can you believe the nerve? I’m his sister, his flesh and blood and he just threw me off!” She huffed, plopping down next to you on her bed. You had to take a moment to digest that statement.

“Hell girl I’d ditch anyone to meet a celebrity,” you quipped, picking up your phone and switching it on. “He’s living his best life out there.”

Your response wasn’t appreciated, and Ailiseu hit you playfully on your arm. You let out an exaggerated wail of pain, scooting away from her. “Demon.”

“That me!” She said chirpily, blowing a kiss in your direction, “And he should be used to the whole Hollywood shebang by this point. He’s going on tour soon.”

“That’s amazing, I know a celebrity personally damn.”

“Is that all you picked up from this?” She pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration and you laughed, leaning against her headboard of the bed. It was nice, being able to do this again as if you were just a bunch of high school kids again. Resting your chin on the tips of your fingers, you smirked.

“So, Yuta?”

She flushed, shrugging as nonchalantly as possible. “He’s nice.”

“Just nice? Don’t you remember the aging crush you had on him junior year- OW!?” You flinched when she hit you with her pillow. “I do not remember you being this aggressive what the hell?”

“You deserve it honey, and what about junior year? If I remember correctly, you were busy pining over Jung Jaehyun?” She wiggled her eyebrows at you suggestively, knowing she caught you. “Oh wait! You had been doing that since the beginning of high school.”

Rolling your eyes, you refused to answer that, scrolling through your phone for a bit. While everything that had happened back then had definitely hurt you, Ailiseu knew all about it, and it was easy talking and joking about it with her. At least then, there was someone to stop you from spiraling.

Clearing your throat, you started again, “You know, he’s back in town?”

She raised an eyebrow, “What, really? What are the odds, you come back and he’s there too?” She brought her knees up to her chest, “Maybe it’s a sign for you to go running back to him.” Her tone was light and casual, you knew she was being sarcastic, and yet you couldn’t help but think about it. It was pretty amazing how the two of you were at the same place at the same time.

Ailiseu noticed the shift in your demeanor, eyes widening. “Girl no, don’t say you’re actually going to-?”

You shook your head, letting out a forced laugh. “No, it’s just a little weird I guess.” You chewed on your lower lip, “I agreed to be friends with him again, though.”

“That’s how it always starts, he literally dropped you so easily! I don’t care how perfect he is, that was pretty heartless.” She said firmly, cupping your face and forcing you to look at her. Her eyes softened and she sighed. 

“Just...promise me you won’t do anything stupid okay? It’s easy to fall back into old habits.”

It sounded like a warning like she knew what she was talking about, eyes laced with concern. That scared you a little, but you nodded curtly, bringing her hands down from your face and squeezing them affectionately.

“I promise.”

chapter seven: lay the table with the fancy shit

You looked at yourself in the mirror one last time, deeming your outfit appropriate, and walked out of your room, jogging down the stairs. The Jungs were coming home for dinner today since your parents deemed it the perfect time seeing everyone was around. 

You let your hair out of its ponytail, running your fingers through it to the tips to brush it out a little so it framed your face nicely. Once you had arrived downstairs, you began helping around, starting by setting the table.

The thought of spending the evening with him definitely didn’t seem quite as stifling or daunting as it once had, but you were still a little nervous. Ailiseus’s words stuck out with you- what was it again? Something about old habits being easy to fall back into? Whatever it was, for some reason it felt like a warning.

The doorbell rang and you abandoned your task, which was almost done anyways and walked up to open. Johnny was still getting ready while your father was helping your mother in the kitchen, which left you with door duty. You opened it, smiling at the three figures that stood there.

“Good evening Mr. and Mrs. Jung! Jaehyun,” you greeted then, acknowledging him last. His own mother went off into a tangent about how pretty you looked and how grown up you seemed. Jaehyun handed you some flowers and a bottle of wine they had brought along.

You walked into the kitchen, placing the bottle down on a counter and looking around for how you could help. Yes, you didn’t mind being around them, but you’d much rather stay away if you were being honest.

You decided to get the drinks, now that you were legal and allowed to drink. Your parents took out the appetizers, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

Until of course, the devil himself walked in, fixing the cuff of his sleeve. He looked really good, hair left loose instead of being styled formally. You looked up from pouring your own drink, swallowing the sudden lump in your throat.

“Hey, want something to drink?”

“Sure,” he said, stuffing his hands into his pockets and taking a few steps closer, standing next to you. You pressed your lips together in an attempt to not react, placing the bottle down and handing him his glass.

He took it from you, flashing you that pretty smile of his that could make your knees buckle when you were younger. You hated the fact that you still got carried away with the idea of him.

“So,” you cleared your throat and decided to start some sort of conversation so it wasn’t awkward, “How is it being a bigshot writer?”

He giggled at your question, eyes lighting up like a kid, you couldn’t help but smile. Shaking some hair out of his face, he answered, “It’s pretty normal, I just write for a living, sometimes win an award and have the blue tick on Instagram. Sometimes people recognize me, but those are the exciting days.”

Dry humour always had been a part of his character. You snorted, opening the freezer to get a few ice cubes and dropping them into your own drink, before taking a sip. “How glamorous, I know two celebrities now.”

His eyebrows furrowed, “Two?”

“Yeah, Chenle and you,” to this, he let out a sound of realization, nodding. “I’ve met Chenle on several occasions in the city.” He took a sip of his drink, “It was pretty surprising seeing him there at first.”

“I can imagine,” you muttered, “Shall we go back into the living room?”

He nodded, and the two of you walked back together. By this time, Johnny had made his presence known, dragging Jaehyun away to talk. You shook yourself out of the slight trance the latter had thrown you into. It was something only he was able to do with you, you felt like a little kid looking up at him.

Taking a seat on the side of the sofa next to your mother, you made an attempt to figure out what the adults were talking about. It was laughable, how you still referred to them as adults even though you were one yourself.

You supposed you still had to grow up, in a sense.

chapter eight: meet me behind the mall

Yuta was lying down on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He didn’t speak, he wasn’t even listening to any music, he was just there. This was something he liked to do, to contemplate his decisions. He always had been the type of person you thought before he acted, especially when it came to something as big as this.

In short, he wasn’t impulsive. Impulse often led to downfall or poorly planned out events, somethings failures altogether. 

He knew he was still young and had plenty of time in his life left. From a logical standpoint, this was a pretty rash decision on his part. What if things didn’t work out? What if it was all a big mistake?

He knew he loved Ailiseu, the both of them had been going out for two years now. The memories were strong, and she gave him a feeling of warmth and a sense of home. She was familiar since he had known her since he was fourteen.

He sighed, turning over to his side. He had been lucky enough to have the most perfect girl in the world to call his own. In his eyes, she was perfect, as she was to most of the rest of the world. He slipped his hand into his pocket, bringing out a small box.

When he told his mother what he was contemplating, she had been extremely excited, muttering the usual mother spiel of her child growing up too fast. With several questions later, she disappeared off into the bedroom, only to reappear with that same box in her hand.

Yuta opened the box, to reveal a small dainty ring. It was classy, just a small diamond resting atop the crown of the pretty silver band. He picked it out, examining the piece of jewelry.

“It’s a family heirloom,” his mother had informed him fondly, “Passed down through the last three generations.” With that, she placed it in his hands, squeezing them, “And now it’s yours, sweetheart.”

He was dumbfounded, to say the least, that she trusted him with that ring. His mother believed him, so this had to be the right thing to do...right?”

Some would say he was too young to be thinking about marriage, and in all honesty, he agreed. But then again, what he felt towards Ailiseu was real and strong, he was sure of it. If it wasn’t he would have never even considered doing this in the first place.

Yuta wasn’t the type to play around a lot, he believed in working towards what you wanted, and he had done exactly that. Now he had her, and he was ready to promise her everything, as much as he could give.

He was also a bit of a romantic.

Putting the ring back in its casing, he shut the box. A satisfying snap was heard as it closed, and he placed it on his bedside table, shutting his eyes.

All he needed to do now was figure out the perfect time to ask.

~

Hanging around Jaehyun with Johnny was something you were pretty used to. You had done this all the time when you were younger, in fact, Johnny used to just assume you were coming along.

What you were not used to was Jaehyun showing up at your doorstop and telling you to come with him without Johnny.

Which was how you found yourself sitting in the passenger seat of his old car, knees pulled up to your chest as you bit down on your waffle. He had insisted on buying them for the two of you and refused to let you pay for your own.

It was alright though, free food was always a plus.

“So,” you started, breaking off one of the end pieces of your waffle and nibbling on it. “Are you going to tell me why you dragged me out to the-” you peered out of the window and frowned, “middle of nowhere?”

He rolled his eyes, “It’s not the middle of nowhere, we’re behind the mall.”

“Behind the- why would one even come here?” Some cream cheese from your waffle slid down onto your palm and you scooped it up, “Okay, why?”

“Why we came here? Can’t I just hang out with a friend?” He asked, prompting you to scoff. As if you were going to believe that nonsense. You shoved the piece of waffle in his face, and accused.

“My brother is your friend. Me? I’m the annoying little sister you let tag along out of pity.” Though the statement was basically you making fun of yourself, you said it light-heartedly, almost triumphantly as you knew you had caught him there. You smirked and he sighed, finishing off his own waffle.

“Fine, you’re fun to be with okay?”

You raised an eyebrow, “Oh? Fun am I? I suppose that’s why you decided to play around with me in the summer.” The words were out of your mouth before you could comprehend them yourself. His eyes widened slightly at the sudden attack and you winced, “Sorry I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s okay,” he said, “We were young and dumb and it didn’t really mean anything. We were just fooling around.”

You had lived through him telling you you were just a fling, but hearing again after all these years? For some goddamn reason, it hurt just as much as it did all those years ago. Pressing your lips together, you nodded curtly.

How else were you supposed to respond? This was Jaehyun for goodness sake, you never knew how to navigate anything when it came to him. That was your own fault, you had let yourself get swayed with him.

But it hurt because you hadn’t told anyone other than Ailiseu, it hurt because you had bottled it up for so long and now that you were here you felt like a pressure cooker that finally had to let off some steam. And what better time than now, right? He was right there.

Sucking in a deep breath, you braced yourself and finally jumped. “Except,” you shut your eyes for a moment, catching his attention. “It wasn’t just ‘fun’ to me.”

Jaehyun frowned, “I’m not following-”

“That summer,” you cleared your throat, suddenly finding that your almost finished waffle was extremely interesting, “I didn’t think of it as nothing, it wasn’t just a summer fling to me- I actually liked you.” Your voice was just above a whisper right now, and you refused to meet his eyes.

“I-” He stuttered, “Oh my god I’m so sorry-”

“It’s fine,” you waved him off, “Like you said we were young and dumb and it was so long ago, I just saw you as my brothers cool older friend.” You forced a laugh, busying your mouth with the rest of your waffle. An awkward silence settled over the two of you, it was almost too much too bear.

Oh god, this was a mistake, you should have kept your mouth shut. You shouldn’t have told him, why did you ever think that was a good idea?

“Uh- well forget about that,” you said, “I have to be home to help my mom with dinner.” He didn’t press any question, instead nodded, “Yeah, of course, I’ll drop you back.” His cheeks were a little flushed, the tips of his ears were bright red. 

The drive back was painfully silent, to say the least, none of you had anything to say. You played with your fingers, looking out the window at the scenery as it became more and more familiar. 

He pulled up in front of your house and you got out, shutting the door after you. You hesitated, before turning around and bending down to the window with a small smile on your face.

“Jaehyun?”

“Hmm?” He looked up at you, seemingly distracted and deep in thought. That was because of you, you knew, but it was okay.

“Thanks for the waffles.”

chapter nine: i’m staying at my parent’s house

“I read your book.”

Jaehyun looked to his side and at you, his attention settling on you from the movie. The three of you had been watching a late-night movie, but Johnny had fallen asleep midway, which was made very clear by the snoring. It was okay though, more popcorn for you.

While the movie was pretty interesting, it followed a generic plot, and even though talking seemed to be particularly dangerous when it came to you and Jaehyun, you indulged anyway.

Clearly, you were a slow learner.

“One of them,” you clarified, “The one about the fake dating?”

“Oh right! That one,” he said, voice softer than usual for the benefit of your brother. “It’s my latest one actually.”

You hummed, glancing at the TV. “I think it's so amazing how you can string words together like that. It was beautiful.” This was the truth, you had genuinely enjoyed it a little too much, more than you were willing to admit. “I also find it amazing how you already know what you’re doing with your life.”

He chuckled, tongue poking against the inside of his cheek. “You could say that.”

It sounded as if he was objecting to your statement. Clicking your tongue, you shook your head, “I could- like come on you knew when you were what, seventeen? Meanwhile, I’m here wondering what the fuck I’m doing.”

“That’s okay though, I guess I’ve just been pushed to figure stuff out.” He turned to face you properly, “But in truth, sometimes I wonder if this was the right thing for me.”

“What? Being a talented and best-selling author isn’t it?” You leaned forward from where you were sitting on the couch, reaching a hand out and curling your fingers into a fist to mimic a microphone. The sides of his mouth quirked upwards at this.

To your surprise, he raised his own hand, holding your wrist as if it was an actual microphone. Your eyes widened at this in surprise, heat rising to your face at the contact. Looking at him, you realized he was smirking and had to bite back the urge to scowl at him for being so infuriating.

“Well, I write love stories, and I’m going through a sort of block right now,” he said slowly, voice still soft, but his words seemed calculated. His eyes never left yours, keeping his gaze on you. It was a little intimidating if you were being honest.

It was something he seemed to like to do because he knew the effect he had on people. He liked to see their reactions when he pushed them a little, which was something you were extremely well versed with, and it still affected you.

“A block?”

“How do you write a love story when you’ve never been in a serious relationship? Making shit up gets old after a while.”

“So Mr. Bigshot didn’t have any lovers out there in the city?” You asked, not quite believing that statement. He scoffed, shaking his head.

“Don’t think hookups are valid.”

Now that was information you didn’t need, but you nodded anyways. He smiled, but something was off about it, it almost looked- scared? You weren’t quite sure, so you asked.

“You’re faking that smile, aren’t you?”

He licked his lips, “How did you know?” 

“If you pay attention to someone, you pick up the little things,” you shrugged, “Why?”

“I’m just,” he hesitated and shrugged like a little kid. “Sometimes I take a moment to realize I’ve made it, and then the next moments that follow are me figuring out how to keep it.” He sighed, “And with this whole block about my next book, it feels like it’s slipping away faster than I intended it to.”

Swallowing because your throat had suddenly gone dry under his gaze, you answered, “Well, you’ll figure it out. At least you have made it, I’m just floating.”

“I hope I do, I’ve never really failed at anything,” he admitted, “And what? You’re so talented, you’ll sort things out soon enough.”

You realized the two of you were still in that position, with his fingers curled around your wrist, barely a few centimeters away from his face. Flushing, you pulled away, rubbing your hand where he had held it.

“I actually have an interview on Friday,” you resumed eating your beloved popcorn, looking to the television again. “For that store beside the yogurt shop, you used to work at in high school, which by the way was the best job ever.”

“You only think that because I used to give you free froyo.”

“I never denied it, did I?”

Looking over to him, you kept up a serious front for a grand total of two minutes, before bursting into laughter, as did he. What followed was hushed whispers to keep it down considering it was late, but the smile on your face never dropped.

“Tell you what,” you started placing the bowl of popcorn to the side, “When you finish your next book, tell me. That way I have something to look forward too and you have someone to please.” He smiled, agreeing with this.

“I wouldn’t want to let you down, would I?”

chapter ten: dancing in your levis, drunk under a streetlight

Your town absolutely loved Halloween, it was a pretty big holiday that was always celebrated with pomp and cheer. Children dressed up, trick or treating was a must and the candy stores favored it too.

And at the end of it all, the Halloween festival took place, where the whole town came together for the celebrations. There was even a dance, which was all in good fun. You had missed the season here with your years away.

The summer had slipped away and before you knew it it was the day before the holiday, All Hallows Eve. You got that job at the store, but today in honor of the spooky season, you were let off work early so you could get ready.

Your costume was a simple one, a baby pink dress that had a few ruffles here and there along with sequins lining it, paired with those cheap fairy wings that are available in toy stores. A witch was a little too generic and overused even for you, 

Your makeup complimented the outfit, you kept it plain and natural because of the louder outfit. Deeming yourself presentable, you collected your things and walked out the door. You were alone since you were the only one left, the rest of your family were already present at the festival.

Except you weren’t alone because leaning against his car just outside your house was Jaehyun, dressed up as a vampire, fangs and all. You raised an eyebrow, walking down the steps towards him.

“Hey, Count Dracula.”

He smiled, which was a little odd since he had fangs poking out and onto his bottom lip (not that you were staring, “From Hotel Transylvania, in the flesh.”

“Oh? So then where your daughter old man?”

“Old man- daughter??”

You pat him on the shoulder, “Seems like you need to rewatch the movie dude.”

He rolled his eyes, “I’ve come to pick you up...what are you?” He frowned, eyes sweeping over your figure. You tutted disappointedly, shaking your head.

“It’s very sweet of you to wait for me Jae, but you couldn’t even figure out what I am?”

He whined, opening the door of the passenger seat for you and cocking his head to the side. “Focus on how sweet I am and tell me what you are.”

You smiled sweetly, getting into the car, ignoring the small warm feeling that was blooming in the pit of your stomach at the fact he waited for you. He shut the door, jogging over to the other side and getting into the driver’s seat. “I’m a fairy, dumbass.”

“Well, if it makes it better, you’re the prettiest fairy I’ve ever known.” He said this with a sing-song lilt to his voice and you leaned back in your seat, pressing your lips together and hoping the dark of the car hid your obvious flustered state with that statement of his.

“Just drive Mr. Vampire, we’re already late.”

“Blah blah blah blah,” he responded oh so maturely, using the signature line from the movie. Chuckling, you fiddled with the radio so it played a song you liked.

You reached the venue in a matter of minutes, the bright orange and brown colors popping. The place had been decorated wonderfully, and it brought back a sense of childish excitement in you. Part of you wanted to pick up one of the plastic pumpkin baskets and go around collecting an abundance of skittles.

Opening the door, you looked around with a wistful smile on your face. Turning around to look at Jaehyun, you gestured towards the festival.

“Come on, let’s go! I want to get as many bloody drinks that are available.”

You joined the rest of your family and friends, taking a bloody mary from one of the stalls. Ailiseu was dressed as a witch and Yuta was a cat, her ‘familiar as she called it. He seemed less than thrilled to be her cat, but with how he looked at her when she spoke about it and how excited she was, you speculated that it wasn’t all bad.

It was cute, seeing them together. Sometimes you couldn’t help but feel a tad jealous but then again, they probably made everyone and their third removed cousin feel single.

The night was lovely, lots of chatting and conversing with fellow residents of the town, some you had known since you were a child. You made sure to keep up the talking politely, even passing ways with the owner of the store you had taken an interview with.

Looking over your shoulder to locate the snack table, your eyes met with Jaehyuns briefly. You smiled softly, before saw the snacks, and decided that they were more important.

The night, all in all, was great, you received a lot of comments on your costume and danced with a few people, including your brother. After a bit, you decided you needed to get off your feet and took a seat at one of the tables.

You had almost forgotten how it felt to be a part of this community, to be with all these people you loved. With a start, you realized that you had been homesick, extremely homesick. Being back you hadn’t really figured it out until this moment. You had been visiting places of importance to you, only to see that things were so much more different than you expected them to be.

The tone of the evening changed as the music slowed down as the night progressed. Another thing you realized was how painfully alone you were, of course, Ailiseu made sure to drop by from time to time before getting whisked off with her boyfriend, your mother was busy dancing with your father and Johnny, well, you really couldn’t say much about him.

“Not much of a dancer?” 

You looked up to see Jaehyun there and scoffed, “Are you trailing me or something?”

He smirked, “Nah, just saw you sitting all mopey here so thought I’d try and help with that.” His hands were in his pockets as he stood there, towering over you since you were sitting. “Wanna dance?”

“Why would you ask me?” You raised an eyebrow, looking around, “You know there are about ten other girls waiting to catch your eye, right?”

“And? I’m asking you out of all of them. Also because you’re the only one I know.”

“Ah yes, telling someone they’re your pity dance and last resort is the way to win over a girl,” you quipped, amused as you got to your feet, “But sure, lead the way.”

You followed him, the both of you coming to a stop when you reached the spot on the floor. You placed your hand on his shoulder, and the other found his, fingers intertwining as he raised it. His other hand rested on your waist, a smile on his face.

“I took dance classes in college.”

“So then you should be able to make up for my nonexistent dancing skills,” you joked, slowly swaying with him to the music. He let out an amused sound, nodding slowly. 

“I suppose I’ll have to, though to be fair this is just basic prom shit, don’t you think?”

“Did you go to prom dressed as a vampire in Levis? And I didn’t go to senior prom,” you said, “The new Chis Hemsworth movie had come out and I had my priorities straight. That and the fact I didn’t have a date.” To this, he looked surprised, twirling you around.

“You? No date? That's impossible, who wouldn’t want to go to prom with you.” The two of you came back to your initial position. “So you didn’t get to do the whole getting your dress and stuff?”

“Mother goose was devastated that she couldn’t go dress shopping with me, but she quickly got over it and harassed Johnny instead. I’ll say it was a win.” You smirked triumphantly as you moved to the music. You giggled, causing him to smile and twirl you again. The song was coming to an end.

“Well, I think you would have looked lovely in a prom dress. If I wasn’t at college I would have asked you.”

The two of you came to a stop and you scoffed, “So is asking me to dance out of pity a thing you’re into or…..?”

“I mean it,” he said, giving you a pointed look, “I would have taken you. Not out of pity.” He squeezed your hand affectionately, “I think you would have looked breathtaking.” He sounded so sincere, that you were honestly surprised.

What surprised you more was the close proximity between your faces, he was just there. If you moved even a little forward, you would be able to kiss him. His eyes dropped to your lips for a moment, and that thought seemed a lot more enticing.

Then you did a double take- since when were you thinking about kissing Jaehyun? You took a step away from him, avoiding his eyes and pulling away. You had forgotten how easy it was to be sucked into his little world, into him. There was something absolutely magnetic about him, and for some reason, you seemed to the iron filings.

Like a moth to a flame. 

“T-thanks for the dance,” you managed to get out, “I’ll see you around.”

And with that the vampire watched the fairy leave.

chapter eleven: the lakes

“Do you enjoy seeing me squirm?”

The question was blunt and Jaehyun chuckled, turning into the street and seeing that it was deserted, went a little faster. A small amused smile settled on his lips as he looked at your indignant expression from the side of his eyes. “Maybe I do.”

You pressed your lips together, looking at the passing landscape through the window. These sudden impromptu outings were starting to become the new normal, he’d show up, and more often than not it was for you. You were sure Johnny was getting suspicious, but he had to work so until you had received a call from hopefully your new boss, this was the best way to fill in your time.

“So not even a hint?” 

“Nope,” he said, popping the p, “Don’t you like surprises?”

“Yeah, when I was like, twelve.” you snorted, “I swear I’ve been everywhere in town, so how come I don’t recognize the way?”

“You will when we reach. You’ve only been there once and that’s all the information I’ll be giving you.”

“Generous, and how do you know I’ve only been to this place once?” You shrugged off your jacket and folded it neatly, placing it on your lap. It was too hot outside for one anyways, but your mother had insisted. She was probably one of the reasons you still felt like a kid.

“I was the one who took you,” he said cockily, causing you to roll your eyes and cross your arms. God, he was just so annoying, and for some unknown reason, you liked it. You liked it a lot.

“You seem to be taking me to a lot of places recently,” you observed, looking over at him. His hair curled around his neck, in its naturally curly state, and a small smile playing on his lips as he drove.  “Why is that?”

“You asked me this the last time too, can’t you just accept that I want to spend time with you?” He glanced at you briefly, “We’re almost there, by the way.”

“Oh thank god, I thought this drive was never going to end.”

“Are you saying you’re tired of me?”

“Hey, you said it, not me,” you wiggled your eyebrows at him and he shook his head in amusement, pulling up to the side of the street. You got out of the car, realizing no one else was around, and turned to him, “Are you going to murder me in a deserted field or something? Because I would be missed.”

“Trust me a little, would you?”

“It’s good to be skeptical,” you walked around the car and to the side where he was standing. Cocking his head to the side, he gestured to the forest and began walking.

“What- we’re going into the forest? Dude, we could get killed!”

“By the frogs?”

“Oh fuck off,” you trudged after him, leaves crunching under your shoes. You looked around before your surroundings started to seem vaguely familiar. He turned around, a bright, dangerous looking grin on his face. Reaching a hand out, he glanced at it.

“You want me to hold your hand?”

“Just take it dammit.”

You obliged, and he pulled you along until you reached a small pathway. The two of you walked down it until you came to a little clearing that was extremely familiar. You let out a breath, turning to face him.

“You took me to-”

“The lake,” he finished for you, “I brought you here that summer, and you were absolutely mesmerized by the place, so I thought it would be fun to bring you back.” He smiled, taking some pride in the awestruck look in your eyes as you scanned the area.

“I remember,” you said softly, leaning against one of the barks of the trees. The scene that lay before you was stunning, the canopy and foliage of the trees towering over the place, ivy and moss covered the ground and in the middle of it, all was a lake.

“It’s been so long,” you looked back at him, and smiled, rolling your eyes when you saw him staring at you expectantly. “Fine, fine, I should have trusted you.”

“And-?” “Don’t push it,” you warned and he snickered, taping you abruptly on the shoulder, before turning on his heel and breaking into a run, “You’re it!”

“What- ARE WE TWELVE- JUNG JAEHYUN!”

You broke into a run since you had no other choice than to chase after him. He was surprisingly fast, but then again you remembered watching him play at his soccer games when you were fourteen. This proved to be a challenge for you, considering you were the one who had to run after him.

But if there was anything you loved, it was a challenge.

You picked up your own pace, reaching out so that the tips of your fingers brushed against his coat. You managed to grab it, tugging and effectively causing him to jerk and stumble on his feet. You grabbed his arm triumphantly, smirking.

“Caught you,” you tilted your head upwards, nose in the air in mock snobbery. You kept your expression blank for a few minutes, before bursting into laughter, as did he. You looked around, feeling like a child again, but in a good way. This type of feeling was something you treasured, a feeling you had once been used to.

“Thanks,” you said, looking at him, “For bringing me here. I think I needed it.”

“I had a feeling,” he took a few steps closer to you, studying the look on your face. You looked happy, content at the moment, and he liked it on you. Spending time with you made him think of that one summer when you seemed to always be like it. In fact, he had been thinking about that time a lot.

He genuinely did like your company, which is why he fooled around with you when he was eighteen. It seemed like there wasn’t much difference between him then and him now.

You flushed under his gaze, and then it clicked. There was something else about the lakes, the reason why you liked it so much and you had a slight feeling he knew why. You glanced down from his eyes to where his lips were, sucking in a deep breath.

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you spoke, “You know, uh, this is also the place you-”

“I kissed you.”

He took another step forward and your breath hitched in your throat as stared at him. “I remember that.”

Your mind went into overdrive at the moment, seeing how close the two of you were, talking about that, you froze in place as the memory overtook you- well it would have, but before you knew it, his lips were on yours and you were sure it wasn’t recollection.

Jung Jaehyun was kissing you, and though it wasn’t for the first time, it still took your breath away. The kiss was slow and impossibly soft as if it was matching your surroundings. You kissed him back, eyes fluttering shut as you did so.

He pulled away, and you stood there, still feeling the ghost of his lips on yours, eyes still shut. A few seconds passed, but it seemed like an eternity to you as you tried to figure out what you felt. When you couldn’t however, you decided to follow the feeling instead. Maybe it was the memories, maybe it was the adrenaline from the running around, but your hands reached up, cupping his face to bring him back down to kiss you.

A familiar touch, one you were used to. His hands settled on your waist, tugging you closer as his mouth moved against yours. He was so gentle as if he was afraid he would break you. It was just how you remembered it to be.

And you couldn’t think of anything else, it was like he had claimed all of your senses and instructed them to focus on him and him only. You were acutely aware of his thumb rubbing circles on your waist through the fabric of your shirt, the way his lips were warm against your own, and how he held you as if you were made of glass.

Then he stopped kissing you, pushing some hair out of your face as you looked at him, cheeks burning, but a starstruck look in his eyes. He smiled softly.

“Still the place I kissed you.”

chapter twelve: surprise shawty

You got the job at the store, having received a class from the owner telling you you had to report at eight in the morning on Monday. It was not that different from the job you had taken up during college, which was at a cafe. Here, you didn’t have to make any drinks, seriously the number of times you had ruined pieces of clothing you loved was too many to count.

Standing behind the check-out counter you scrolled through Instagram. You thought it would be a lot busier, but so far only two people came in, and one walked out without even buying anything (which you could respect). To put it plainly, the job was uneventful.

But that didn’t matter, what mattered was you were getting paid.

You saw a few of your friend’s posts, double-tapping the screen and scrolling immediately past. They all seemed to know what they were doing with their life, with set careers and paths they were to take, while you were sitting behind a counter, watching it unfold before your eyes. 

Part of you wondered if you’d ever find something you truly loved to do. If you’d ever figure out what you wanted in and from life. It wasn’t a crime to be confused, but it wasn’t all that fun either. Sure, you could just pursue music, which was your major back in University, but that industry was extremely hard, and not everyone made it. Hence the term ‘starving artists’.

You propped your elbow up on the counter, resting your chin on the palm of your hand as you clicked on the explore page, picking a post that caught your eye and continued with your cycle of scrolling. It wasn’t like you had anything better to do anyway, this had to be the calmest job you had ever worked.

So engrossed in your activity, you didn’t notice the doors open. Jaehyun saw you sitting there, and walked over, leaning against the counter.

“So could you help me find something?”

You snapped your head up, ready to jump into the two-liner about welcoming the customer to the store that you had been instructed to say when you realized it was him. You got to your feet, switching your phone off and raising an eyebrow.

“And what could you be looking for?”

“Ramen. And wondering if you have a break soon.” He grinned and you shrugged, pointing to where the ramen could be prepared. 

“I’ve been on break for the last three hours,” you filled him in, walking out from behind the counter. “I assume you want to eat together or something, but be warned, I’m not sharing.”

“Who said anything about sharing?” He looked positively scandalized at the prospect of having to give you some of his precious ramen. You snorted, taking two of those prepared bowls of ramen down from a shelf, placing it under the water, and waiting for it to cook.

A few minutes later the two of you were back at the counter, but this time with food. It was comfortable, which was honestly a little surprising. The kiss at the lake that day hadn’t been the last between the two of you, and it was like being seventeen again. Except for this time, he asked you to be his girlfriend.

That alone was enough to throw you off- it couldn’t have been a prank right? But when you saw the genuine look in his eyes, you knew it wasn’t. You couldn’t help but feel special all over again, just like you had all those years ago. 

This time, it seemed like he actually liked you, and you definitely couldn’t deny the revival of your crush on him during your time back home. Hey, that wasn’t your fault, he had been the one being all nice and taking you places. What girl wouldn’t appreciate that?

“So how’s your first day on the job?” He asked, looking up from his noodles. You finished chewing your bite, raising your wrist to your mouth to cover it as you answered.

“Pretty good, better now that you’re here.”

“And she’s a flirt? You surprise me every day.” You elbowed him in the side, causing him to let out what could only be defined as a squawk of exaggerated pain. The sound was enough to make you stare at him in mild horror.

“What the hell was that sound?” You exclaimed, scooting as far as you could from him.

“It’s my laugh.” “That was a laugh? Oh hell no, that was a dying chicken.”

“Dying- Don’t even start, I’ve heard the sound you make every time you see puppies.” He pointed out, brandishing the disposable fork in your direction. You rolled your eyes, pushing it away.

“That is different, those are puppies. I’m seriously reconsidering this relationship.”

“OVER MY LAUGH?” “From now on I’ll be the one laughing for the both of us, “ you patted him on the head affectionately, “You just stick to the silent hot guy laugh.”

He cocked an eyebrow, smirking slightly. “So I’m hot now?” “Don’t push it.”

~

Seeing his baby sister and best friend lip-locked did not bode well with Johnny.

It was an accident, really, the two of you had been planning to keep everything on the down-low for a bit, until of course, Jaehyun accidentally kissed you before walking away, leaving you with a very distraught older brother.

Jaehyun turned on his heel, wincing, “Uh-”

Considering he hadn’t even known about the summer, this was a big shock. He stood there gaping, looking from you to Jaehyun. You panicked for a minute, getting up from where you were sitting and walking over to him. “Hey uh, I can explai-”

“WHAT THE FUCK?!”

And that, ladies and gentlemen, was how Johnny Suh found out you were in a relationship.

A relationship, yes that would be the term. After the second first kiss you had with Jaehyun, he took you on a date a few days later and you earned the title of girlfriend. Thinking about it made you a little giddy, in a good way. Never in a million years you would have thought you’d end up in this position.

Now, it would be an understatement if one said he handled it badly. To put it mildly, all hell broke loose at that moment.

You were his little sister, he knew every single thing about you, and to see you with no less than the boy he knew since he was ten? How did that happen? When did that happen and why in all that was good and holy was it happening?

“Shhh,” you shushed, squishing your brother’s face between your hands, “It’s not a big deal! We’ve only been going out for a month.”

“A month!!”

“We haven’t done anything,” you promised, to which Jaehyun clicked his tongue.

“We’ve kissed”

Johnny’s eyes grew wide, and you threw your boyfriend a dirty look, playfully slapping his arm. “Jae?”

“Mmhm?”

“Shut up.”

“Shutting up.”

Turning back to your brother, you smiled sheepishly. He sighed, putting his hand over yours and bringing it down. “I just need a little time to adjust to….this.”

“I couldn’t tell,” Jaehyun said dryly and you scowled at him, pointing to the door of the living room, signaling for him to leave. He tried to protest, but with one glare from you, he surrendered.

“Thought he was shutting up,” you muttered, “And hey, take all the time you need. I get that this is a little, well, out of the blue.”

“Blue? It’s fucking red.” The sides of his mouth drooped downwards as he looked at you. “I just...wish you told me. I would have never seen this coming, I mean- you and Jaehyun? Since when?”

“Since last month,” you pat him on the shoulder, “And I get that, but hey, nothing has really changed, I’m still your sister.” You smiled, “I’m sorry for not telling you when it happened. But you can’t tell anyone.”

“What? Why?” “Because we just want to keep it quiet for now, okay? It’s still very new, so please?”

Johnny sighed and nodded, engulfing you in a hug. You wanted to keep it quiet so you could get used to it yourself. Nevertheless, there was something comforting about your brother knowing, it made it feel a little more real.

“So Jaehyun, huh?”

chapter thirteen: tis’ the damn season

December welcomed the winter season with open arms, marking two months of your relationship with Jaehyun. At this point, one other person knew about it, that person being Ailiseu. She didn’t seem against it but told you to be careful once again, before rattling on about double dates.

“Hand me the cocoa powder,’ you instructed, stirring the pot you had on the stove that was filled with milk. He obliged, picking up the box and holding it out to you. Making sure it was the unsweetened one, you let your spoon rest on the side with a soft ‘clink’, opening it and taking three spoonfuls out. Putting it into the milk you pushed it to the side and resumed your stirring.

The tradition of you making your famous hot cocoa was one that you had missed out on with your years away at college. Ever since you were ten you were the one who would be in charge of the comforting drink, and so this time you decided to drag Jaehyun along with you.

“I always add a little cream,” you informed him, leaving the boiling mixture for a moment and walking to the fridge, taking the very product out of it. 

“Interesting,” he said, watching what you did carefully, “You know when I’m in the kitchen, I usually help with the actual cooking and don’t just stand around.”

“Well you’re in my kitchen, well, my mothers, and I just need you to do as I say,” you poured some of the creams into the pot, adding a tablespoon of sugar and combined it all together. “And what you can do right now is talk to me while I make the cocoa.”

He rolled his eyes, leaning against the countertop, “Fine, did you hear Taeyong was back in town?”

“Yes actually, Ailiseu told me he came back for Christmas like usual. Is his friend with him?”

Jaehyun shook his head, “It’s a little surprising honestly since they’re usually always together. I met with him yesterday and he didn’t want to talk about it, but I think he misses her.”

You blinked, “That is surprising, I wonder what happened between the two of them.”  The conversation fell into silence for a moment, before you remembered about your drink, stirring it one last time and lifting the wooden spoon. Holding the palm of your hand underneath, you blew on it a little before calling him to taste it.

He obliged, taking a step forward and you brought the tip of the spoon to his lips, tilting it slightly upwards. He slurped some of it, pulling a face because of how hot it was, and fanned his hand in front of his mouth. 

“So? How is it?” You asked and he winced as if debating his choices. Then, he started very carefully.

“Do you want me to be honest?”

It was your turn to frown and you nodded, putting the spoon back in the pot. He licked his lips, “Don’t take this the wrong way, but um-”

“But what?” You narrowed your eyes at him and he shrugged, shoving his hands into his pockets. It seemed as if he was trying to avoid telling you what he was thinking. “It sucks.”

“Excuse me?” You asked, eyes widening at the harsh feedback. He grimaced, glancing at the pot of your cocoa. 

“I’m sorry! I’m just telling you the truth- like sure it tastes good it’s chocolate! Chocolate always tastes good but it just ends at that.” He looked around, opening a cupboard and taking out another chocolate bar, one that was different from the chocolate you used.

You weren’t the best at cooking, but this hot cocoa was the one thing you were actually good and, and this bitch had the audacity to trample all over it? You should have been irritated, but instead, you just stood there, watching as he broke a few pieces of the chocolate and put it into the pot. 

“You got any vanilla extract?”

Wordlessly, you pointed to another cupboard, and he navigated his way over there, taking the small bottle out and using a teaspoon to add some in. 

“I always use double chocolate when I make cocoa,” he said, “And vanilla gives it a little bit of a kick. Since you already added sugar earlier, thats one less step.”

This time he held it out for you to taste. Reluctantly, you obliged, taking the spoon from him and taking a sip from it. With the few extra ingredients he had added, it tasted extremely different, in a way that did not benefit you at all. Why? 

It was fucking delicious.

But if he thought you were going to admit that, he was up for a surprise. You swallowed it along with your initial reaction, pulling the spoon in the pot and clearing your throat.

“It’s okay.”

It was as if he could see right through your half-hearted lie and smirked. Suddenly the kitchen seemed to be ten times hotter than it was- your mother really should have taken your suggestion of putting a fan there into consideration.

“Just okay?”

“Mhmm,” you hummed uncomfortably, shifting on your feet and turning away from him so your back faced him. He clicked his tongue.

“You love it, don’t you?”

It was annoying, just how perfect he was. Scoffing, you shook your head and lied through your teeth, “Nope, it’s just meh.” You poured yourself a glass of water as if to accentuate your previous statement. “I put in”

“The secret ingredient? Let me guess, it’s love!” He mocked your voice, going higher in pitch. Placing your cup down, you hit the backside of his head playfully and glared at him. 

“Now you’ll never know, and you’re not getting any of that ingredient either.” You brought out a few mugs for the rest of your family, “We should serve it.”

Jaehyun took the pot off the heat, placing it down next to where you had kept the mugs. He seemed to be amused by your curt responses. “Come on, just give it another taste, I’m sure you’ll like it.”

Sighing, you turned to him, pressing your lips together in a complacent manner. You knew he was competitive, but you had never thought that he would actually want you to say he was better. “Fine,” you agreed reluctantly, making a move to pick the spoon up before you were caught off guard.

Jaehyun had pressed his lips to yours, and you could just about make out the sweet taste of chocolate on them amidst the shock of the sudden kiss. Honestly, this man was getting more and more irritatingly swoon-worthy than you were willing to admit.

He pulled away, a shit-eating grin on his face when he saw the startled look on yours, and then as if nothing happened, started pouring the drink into the cups.

“Bet you like it now.”

He let everybody believe it was your recipe. 

~

Jaehyun leaned back in his seat, staring at the journal in front of him. He was sitting at his old desk in his childhood bedroom, playing with the pen in his hand.

Christmas was just about over, maybe a half an hour more for it to be the twenty-sixth. His family had celebrated with yours instead of going to the party that was held at the town square near the school. 

The book that sat on the desk was leatherbound, and a present from you. “Since you had writer’s block, I thought you’d like to start afresh. And this reminded me of you,” you said with a smile, handing the wrapped gift to him.

Smiling softly, he opened it, pressing down the middle to straighten out the spine of the book. It had been a long time since he physically wrote anything out since nowadays he usually stuck to typing. It made it easier for his editors and everyone else as well.

Still, nothing could beat the smell of a new book.

Picking up the pen once more, he looked over the pages, and something clicked inside of him. A new start, one that was different, this time he would be putting pen to paper. The urge to write overcame him and he placed the nib down.

Inspiration truly was a funny thing, and even at that moment he didn’t quite know how to define it, but at twelve in the morning, it struck him. Words melted into the paper like paint strokes from an artist’s brush, and for once he wasn’t really thinking about a plot he had set in place. This time he wrote whatever he thought of.

For the longest time, Jaehyuns imagination had been his muse, the one thing he could always fall back on when it came to creating his work. It was the only thing he could fall back on, simply because most of his stories were fabrications of his mind. He wrote what he thought people wanted and were often right.

He wrote about love even though he didn’t know a single thing that said emotion. He wrote about what he thought love was, his idea of it.

Some writers would say he was lucky he could just think up a plot to his next best-selling book, to just know what worked and how to make it realistic. He did too, at first, until he realized that there was only so much he could imagine.

But at that moment as he scribbled away, he didn’t think too much about it. He didn’t think too much because this time he had an inkling of an idea, this time what he was writing happened to be the start of something real.

And this time, he had a different muse.

chapter fourteen: left you out there standing

“I think I’m going to be sick,” Yuta complained, groaning as he took a seat on the first bench he saw. Ailiseu rolled her eyes, sitting down next to him with a bright smile on her face which rivaled the sun itself ,and also opposed the traumatized one on his.

“Suck it up you big baby,” she taunted, “That was the best roller coaster I’ve ever been on.”

“Yeah? So did you like the part where we tried to defy physics and the concept of gravity or the part where we were almost catapulted out of our seats?”

“Both of those topped you screaming in my ear and making me go temporarily deaf,” she quipped just as quickly, “We should go get some cotton candy.”

“So my throw-up is pink?”

“They have light blue coloured candy too!” And with that, she had already gotten up and was making her way to the cotton candy stall. Shaking his head, Yuta got to his feet and followed her, slipping a hand into his pocket to make sure the box hadn’t fallen out during the rollercoaster ride.

He had taken her out on a date to the amusement park and knew it had been a good idea when her eyes had lit up like a kid in a candy store. So far, Ailiseu had managed to convince him into riding several different roller coasters that each looked like another step into the underworld for him.

This was the third date he had taken her on in which he had been carrying around the damn ring, and he still hadn’t found the perfect moment to ask her- that and because he kept forgetting.

“I kind of want a mix of blue and pink,” she wondered aloud, before telling it to the stall vendor. All or nothing was always the case. “Hey Yu, wanna share?”

She turned to him, the nickname slipping off her tongue easily. He always loved it when she called him that, and nodded immediately, “Yeah sure.”

And a few minutes later, she held a large stick of cotton candy, which was in the colours of pink, blue, and when those parts overlapped, a little bit of purple. The smile on her face was enough to make him smile, and he tore a little piece off, biting into it. 

It melted on his tongue, the oversweet taste making him wince a little bit. Ailiseu on the other hand seemed overjoyed at the treat, some of the candy sticking to her chin unbeknownst to her. It was as if she wasn’t that perfect, but to him, it only enhanced the trance she seemed to have put on everyone.

“Let’s go on something simple next,” she said, almost out of pity for her boyfriend, considering she had forced him on the rides he wasn’t particularly thrilled about. “The carousel?”

“As long as there aren’t any twists and turns, I’m good with it.” Even though he thought it was too sweet, he stole some more anyways. It was addictive like that.

The evening passed like most of the ones they spent together, time always seemed to move a little faster around Ailiseu. It was like he was chasing time itself for moments with her, but he regretted nothing. 

With carousels and Ferris wheels, Yuta briefly wondered if the setting was a little too childish, thinking about how he’d just have to wait for another date to try again. He wanted things to be perfect, after all and would wait until it was.

The drive home was filled with laughter and chattering- she always had been one to talk a lot. Her words somehow always managed to brighten up every situation, as did her smile. At least, they definitely brightened up his.

“We’re here,” he said, pulling up into the driveway of her house and parking the car. She nodded, pecking his cheek, and got out of the car. Watching her walk away made him realize something.

Yuta didn’t ever want to see her walk away, and though he had tolerated it for the past two dates in search of that perfect moment, he just couldn’t do that anymore. There would never be a perfect moment, he would have to simply create it, or would have to let her disappear behind her door once again.

He quickly got out of the car himself, walking up to where she was on the landing of her house. The night air had a chill to it as he stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jacket.

“Hey, um.” 

“Huh? Is there something wrong?” Ailiseu asked, turning on her heel. Her brow furrowed in concern as she took a step closer to him and further away from her door. That was another thing he loved about her, the way she was always ready to help, or always looking out for everyone else.

“No,” he started, voice coming out higher than usual. He shut his eyes for a moment, before clearing his throat and continued, “Actually yes, well not really there’s nothing wrong in particular but-”

She smiled at his words, which he was clearly overthinking about. It was endearing. She reached a hand out and taking his in her own, squeezing it gently. “Hmm?”

He sucked in a deep breath, and with the hand that was in his pocket, he curled his fingers around the box, bringing it out but not quite showing it off just yet. Her eyes were alight with curiosity, a glint in them as she stared at his enclosed fist and back at his face.

It was now or never.

He brought it out in front of the two of them, opening it so that she could see the ring. Her eyes widened, and her lips parted in a mixture of awe and shock as she watched him get down on one knee.

It was everything a girl could have wanted, something straight out of a fairytale. Every little girl’s dream, to find her prince charming and be whisked off with her glass slippers, seven dwarfs in a hut in the woods, or a true loves kiss. Seven-year-old Ailiseu would have been absolutely ecstatic.

Yuta certainly did look like a prince, his longish red hair falling in front of his face, eyes searching her face for any sign of an answer. Then as if someone had flipped a switch, he realized he hadn’t even asked,

“Zhong Ailiseu,” he said, voice low and a little shaky, “I love you, more than I have ever loved anyone, even more than my hair,” he threw the joke in as if to lighten the mood. Normally she would have laughed, or at least spared him a giggle, but she was frozen, staring down at the man.

“Yuta,” she whispered, sounding so uncertain of herself that it scared her. This was madness, she had to be dreaming. After all, this was every little girl’s dream. At one point it had also been her own.

This was everything a girl could have wanted, and it should have been everything she wanted and yet, all she could do at the moment was panic. Her mouth went dry as she tried to think straight but to no avail.

“Ailiseu, will you marry me?”

~

Four words.

They were four small words, eighteen little letters that absolutely shattered her world. 

Two minutes later she was back inside her house, five minutes later staring at herself in the mirror in her room. Ten minutes later it finally sunk in, the reality of her situation and what she had done- or rather, what she hadn’t done.

Fifteen minutes later she was crying, the perfect evening had turned into a nightmare of a night. It felt like all her fault, and she felt the worst she had in a long time.

Yuta had asked her to marry him, something she definitely wasn’t expecting. She loved him, she really did, but it was just so sudden, she couldn’t register it.

Now, what happened before she was back in her house?

She stared at the ring, knowing that the right word would be ‘yes’, and yet she couldn’t bring herself to say it. It was the good thing to say, the one everybody wanted to hear, but it wasn’t the right word, at least not for her.

“No.”

“W-what?” Yuta spluttered, almost dropping the ring, “Ai-”

“This is a joke right?” She asked, voice trembling, “Yuta I-”

He got to his feet, standing up to his full height, “This isn’t a joke? Ali I want to spend the rest of my life with you,” he said, the nickname suddenly sounding bitter as his voice took a turn for sad, but also earnest. He was trying to prove it to her.

“Rest of it? Yuta our lives have just begun, we’ve just graduated I-,” she shut her eyes, before opening them, turning around and pinching the bridge of her nose. “I can’t say yes, I can’t get married?” It ended like a question as if she was asking herself if she had made the right decision. 

A few hours ago, the only decisions she had been subjected to were those about rides and the type of snacks she wanted. This was just too big a jump, and far too overwhelming for her.

“I-I’m sorry I just can’t,” she whispered, staggering backward and leaning against the outside wall of the house. “I don’t understand Yuta this- you couldn’t have taken this seriously right? We’re so young.”

Yuta looked so broken right then that she wanted to backtrack, to take back everything she had just said. She wanted to erase the night from her memory completely, to turn back time and say it never happened in the first place.

“Fuck, thats not what I meant,” she hissed, and he shook his head, pocketing the ring box. “Baby I-”

“I know what you meant,” he cut her off coldly, “I get it. Sure.”

She sighed, “Yuta we don’t have to think so much about the future right now.” It was frustrating, trying to explain her point of view without hurting him. “What matters is the now.”

“It doesn’t since you don’t even think our relationship is serious,” he said, refusing to look at her. 

“You couldn’t have expected to meet the one so soon? Yuta it makes no sense no one finds their forever straight out of college thats impossible! You didn’t think-”

“I did,” he said, shutting his eyes and looking up, clenching his jaw. “Now I’m not so sure.”

Those words were like a knife to her gut, it only made her feel worse. How had things gone so wrong so fast? If it had been chilly before, it was freezing now, but maybe that wasn’t because of the weather.

“I- this was just bad timing come on Yu, this doesn’t have to be all or nothing,” she pleaded, pulling her sweater tighter around herself, “Right?”

“Ali I love you, but-”

“I love you too, and this isn’t just about you,” she snapped, before apologizing immediately after, “I’m sorry, I just can’t, please tell me this doesn’t mean anything.”

He scoffed, “Goodbye Ailiseu.”

It wasn’t fair, he wasn’t being fair to her, and yet she felt guilty for it. She felt guilty because even though he was being unreasonable, she could tell he was hurt. She felt guilty because she was the one who hurt him, even though it was hurting her just the same.

She didn’t wait, as soon as he said that she opened the door and walked into the house, some stupid pride of hers refusing to let him see her cry. She supposed it was that same pride that made him refuse to think about anything more than what he thought was right.

Half an hour later, Zhong Ailiseu had successfully cried herself to sleep.

chapter fifteen: i saw you dance with him

When Jaehyun walked into the store on Wednesday with a Mcdonald’s bag in his hand, you were sure that nothing could have made him any more perfect than this. It was another uneventful workday, and the fact he had brought you lunch? Spectacular.

The icing on the cake was the fact that he had even gotten the peri-peri fries without you even having to ask. Johnny used to-and still did- forget about that all the time, and here he was, with the goods.

“To what do I owe this pleasure?” You asked, opening the spice packet and emptying it into the shaker bag. He grinned that boyish one you so loved, shrugging mischievously. Raising an eyebrow, you took a step away from the counter and began aggressively shaking the bag.

“You’ll find out when we’re done here.”

Taking a fry out of the bag, you hummed, biting down into it and savouring the spicy taste. “So basically you’re bribing me with lunch?”

“Basically.”

Another fry. “Well you certainly know the way into a girl's heart,” you quipped dryly. 

Within a few minutes, you had finished the lunch he had gotten you. While you had been flattered and impressed with the effort, you weren’t impressed when he stole some of it from himself. You shared a trait with Joey Tribbiani from ‘Friends’ and it was the fact that you did not appreciate sharing your food.

Once you were done, however, he managed to convince you to close the store for a little bit so he could take you somewhere, though you were not sure where to. Ushering you into his car, he instructed you to ignore the garment bag hanging in the back.

That piqued your interest in the item even more, and you would occasionally glance at it through the rearview mirror, wondering what it could possibly hold.

Jaehyun had taken a liking to surprising you, the way your face would light up made it all worth it, and this time he was sure nothing could ever top it. He had thought about it for a while now and decided it was the one thing you would truly never see coming.

He pulled up to a diner, parking and getting out of the car. Retrieving the garment bag from the back, he handed it to you and told you to try and keep it off the ground. Then, he took your hand in his and led you inside the diner.

The diner was empty, there wasn’t even anyone behind the counter. This only made you suspicious, and for a moment you wondered if this was how you were going to die.

“There’s a surprise inside,” he said, eyes sparkling, “Go change in the bathroom.”

Bewildered out of your mind, you obliged, walking to the back and into a stall. Unzipping the bag, your eyes widened when what was left in your hands was possibly the most gorgeous dress you had ever seen in your entire life. 

It was a pale blue colour, the fabric was delicate and airy. The top was sleeveless, with two straps connecting the front to the behind, adorned in lace of the same colour. It blended into the skirt part of the dress seamlessly, ruffles falling prettily around the underlayer. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in, examining the dress.

Was this for you?

He had told you to get changed- but for what? The piece of clothing that you held seemed too beautiful for you to wear, it belonged in a display case in your opinion. Definitely not with you, but you quickly changed into it, remembering that Jaehyun was standing outside.

What on earth was going on? What was he planning? Questions hovered around in your mind but vanished the moment you walked out of the stall and saw yourself in the mirror that panned out on the other side of the wall. The clothes you had been wearing hung from your forearm, but you looked absolutely stunning. The dress fit you perfectly, almost as if it had been made just for you.

Once you had emerged out into the front, you saw Jaehyun waiting there, an awestruck sigh escaping his lips when he set his eyes on your figure. He had discarded the denim jacket he had been wearing, leaving him in a black dress shirt and dark blue jeans. A light blue flower was pinned to his chest pocket and you realized it was a corsage.

“You look…...wow,” he said, sounding a little breathless. You couldn’t help the smile that blossomed on your face, resting a hand on your hip as you asked.

“You look pretty wow yourself Jung, mind explaining what this all is?”

He took a few steps closer to where you were, taking something out of his pocket and taking your hand in his. It turned out to be a ribbon, with the same flowers that were pinned to his pocket on it: your corsage.

“You didn’t get to go to prom so,” he tied the ribbon around your wrist, making sure it wasn’t too tight, “I decided to give you the experience”

He looked up from tying the knit, a small triumphant smile playing on his lips. Intertwining your fingers, he dragged you to the middle of the diner. It was only then you realized that along with the place being empty, the tables had been cleared out to the side.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, and his hands rested on your waist. Then he froze, before letting out an embarrassed sound, taking his phone out of his pocket and opening Spotify, playing a playlist he had put together, which was something he had evidently forgotten to do.

“Right,” he muttered, “Now we can dance.”

Perfect by Ed Sheeran came on, and the two of you swayed to the music. He had really taken the effort to do all of this for you, down to choosing cheesy songs as well. It was endearing, and the fuzzy warm feeling in your stomach had decided to make it their new home.

“How did you manage to do this?” You asked, and he made a zipping motion. 

“A magician never reveals his secrets.”

You raised an eyebrow and he sighed, “Fine, your mom helped me with the dress, and the owner of this diner is an old friend of mine.”

You hummed, “Thank you.”

There was no one else around, so it was a rather lonely prom, but to you it was perfect. In the old diner, with muffled music playing, you would have ignored the Chris Hemsworth movie if this was what you would have gotten all those years ago.

It felt a lot like you were in high school once again, still in love with Jung Jaehyun, and that was the realization that shook your entire world at that moment as you danced with him. It felt the exact same, the way your heart was in your throat, how you couldn’t stop smiling,

You were in love with Jung Jaehyun all over again.

“Told you,” he said out of the blue, to which you frowned in confusion.

“Told me what?”

“Told you I’d go to prom with you.”

chapter sixteen: countdown

Ten minutes.

It was 11:50, December 31st, and just ten minutes left for the new year. The party was underway, held at the hotel as usual. It was the only one in your hometown, so most of the events were held there.

You had snacked up on the appetizers that the caterers were handing out, talking with a few old friends, and looking around for Ailiseu. She should have been here with Yuta, but you couldn’t spot her anywhere.

She hadn’t even picked up your calls that night, in fact, you hadn’t heard from her for a while now. You couldn’t help but get a little worried, but you figured the two of them were spending the new years together or something of the sort.

The music died down as the DJ announced that there were only five minutes left for midnight and you looked around to try and find Jaehyun. You were acutely aware of the fact that it was the first time you were ever going to have a kiss at midnight.

Well, your first time for a proper kiss of course, when you were little your parents would kiss your cheeks and foreheads for good measure, and you would hug Johnny. At college you dated a guy for a little, but it didn’t last longer than four months and New Years Day did not fall in between those four months.

Three minutes.

You finished off the last few sips of the drink one of the waiters had given you, placing it down on the table, and spotted the boy you had been trying to find, walking over. He was talking to an old friend of yours, one that came back to town during the Christmas Holidays.

“Taeyong!’ You called out, earning a smile from the boy, who gave you a side hug. Exchanging greetings and such, you turned to Jaehyuns side. He wrapped his arm around your shoulder and you subconsciously leaned into his embrace.

“You two huh?” He raised an eyebrow, a smile tugging at his lips, “I suppose I should leave you two alone since there is,” he glanced at his watch, hair falling in front of his eyes. “About a minute before midnight.”

“Unless you want to see us make out- Ow!” Jaehyun jerked away from your touch when you elbowed him in the side, shaking your head at his antics. 

“Wheres your lucky girl?” You asked, regretting that statement almost immediately when Taeyong’s smile faltered. He forced a laugh, taking a swig of his drink and shrugging. 

“She’s my imaginary friend,” he said, trying to pull it off as a joke. Scratching the beck of his neck awkwardly he took a step back, “See ya.”

He walked off, and you were just about to ask Jaehyun what was up with him before the countdown for midnight begun. The music died down as people counted, and you joined in the fun.

Ten.

“So, another year huh,” he asked and you nodded, turning to face him properly.

Nine.

“I’ll be looking forward to seeing your new book coming out,” you winked, talking much louder over all the chattering.

Eight.

He laughed, a sound you could barely hear, but you could see it and it was just as beautiful. His nose scrunched up, lips quirking upwards and dimples showing. The best part about it was the fact that it was because of you, it was directed at you and you were the reason he was smiling like that.

Seven.

“Maybe,” he said, “Let’s hope I finish it, huh?”

Six.

“Yeah,” you agreed, “I know you will. You’re the best writer I know.” You declared this confidently, before thinking about it for a moment. “Actually, you’re the only writer I know.”

Five.

“True,” he took a step closer to you, “So that makes me the best anyways, huh?”

Four.

You hummed, looking straight at him. He brought a hand up to cup your face, brushing his thumb over your cheekbone.

Three.

He kissed your right cheek and you giggled, pulling away from his touch. This resulted in him pulling you back.

Two.

A kiss on your left cheek.

One.

A kiss on your lips, soft and gentle, like a warm hug that made you smile into it. Cheers erupted all around you as people clapped and kissed, and the clock hit midnight.

Happy new year.

~

A day later, Ailiseu showed up at your doorstep. For the first time in all your years of knowing her, she didn’t look perfect, far from it in fact. She looked broken, shattered even.

You said nothing, wordlessly leading her to your room and taking her into your arms. You asked no questions, you didn’t pry for any information. She cried and you let her cry, because even though you didn’t know exactly what had happened, you knew she needed to let it out.

There was something about her at that moment that reminded you all too much of how you were when Jaehyun had broken your heart. That something made you very well akin to what she needed at the moment, which was comfort.

You knew then that she hadn’t spent New Years with Yuta.

chapter seventeen: we never painted by the numbers baby

When you were younger, your parents used to tell you you were an easily distracted child. Simple things like a clock ticking could break you out of your focus, and it would take a miracle for it to return.

And distractions came in different forms, someone interrupting you while you did something, an irritating noise, or a certain Jung Jaehyun trying to get your attention.

You were sitting on his bed in his room, reading a book that wasn’t his. Now, maybe he was jealous you were giving your attention to another writer’s words or was just being The Annoying Boyfriend (patent pending), but he was trying his best to distract you.

The reason you had chosen to hang out in his room was that you thought he wouldn’t be such a distraction. You thought it would be a peaceful evening, just enjoying each other’s company, but clearly, that wasn’t what he had wanted.

“Just one more page,” you mumbled out, turning the page. He whined like the three-year-old he was- debatable- rolling onto his back and staring up at you through his hair.

“You’ve been saying that for the last three pages.”

“I’m at a good part, and aren’t you supposed to support people reading?”

“When it’s my book? Sure, but you\ve been at a good part for so long. You’ll be at the good part when you go back to reading it too,” he insisted, propping himself up on his elbow.

“I took an all-nighter reading your book, so you can bear with this,” you retorted but shut the book anyway because you knew that you were now successfully distracted. There was no going back to your former state of solitude.

He smiled sweetly because he knew he had won. You huffed, looking around the room and spotting the journal you gave him for Christmas sitting on his desk. You hoped off the bed, walking to it and picking it up.

“You started using the journal! Can I read what you’ve-”

“Nope,” he snatched it out of your hands, “Not until I’m done.” He held it above his head, far away and out of your reach. You pouted, pulling your best puppy eyes in an attempt to persuade him.

“Pleeaaaasseee?”

“Nope,” he said, a smirk on his face, “Have a little patience will you?”

It felt like a challenge, one you took on almost immediately. Steadying yourself by placing a hand on his shoulder, you attempted to jump to catch the journal. He took a step backward, the back of his knees hitting the bed, causing him to sit down on the edge.

This also caused you to fall onto him, straight onto his lap. Your eyes widened when you took note of the position the two of you were in. It didn’t seem to phase him, however, instead, the cocky expression on his face only grew. Placing the book to the side, his hands fell onto your waist as he looked at your lips unabashedly.

“Hey.”

“H-hey,” you managed to stammer out, suddenly flustered. He pushed some hair out of your face, cupping your cheek and pulling you down to kiss him.

Your lips fit perfectly against his, like puzzle pieces finally finding their places. Your fingers found their place in his hair, tugging lightly as you tilted your head slightly to kiss him better. 

You had kissed him several times before, but there was something different about it this time. His mouth felt hot against yours, fingers skirting under the hem of your shirt and slipping under. You shivered at the contact, but it only made you pull him closer to you.

He pulled away, then kissed you again and again, until you had lost count of how much he had kissed you. You were drunk on his touch, truly and completely intoxicated with the way his lips moved against yours.

What had you been doing before this? You didn’t remember and you didn’t care, because all you could think about at that moment was Jaehyun. He had taken over your senses, which you supposed was his goal from the start.

He kissed the side of your mouth like a tease, and then your jaw, pressing butterfly kisses down your neck. You were positively dizzy at the sensation, but you didn’t care. Now that you had had a taste, you never wanted him to stop.

You dropped your head to his shoulder, breathing going heavy at every little thing he was doing. You definitely weren’t thinking straight anymore, but you didn’t quite mind it. Your fingers fisted the material of his shirt, ducking and capturing his lips again, almost desperately.

He groaned, and his hands were now on your back. The two of you couldn’t have possibly gotten any closer, your bodies were already touching and you whimpered, eyes fluttering open for just a minute to look at him.

He stared back at you with a half-lidded gaze, one that made butterflies erupt in your stomach. Licking his lips, he searched your eyes for an answer to his silent question, and you nodded softly, wrapping your legs around his waist. 

His mouth was back on yours, and it was not the first, but definitely one of the many that took place through the night, his hands on your body and his touch unforgettable. You were lost to Jung Jaehyun and you wouldn’t have had it any other way.

A distraction indeed.

chapter eighteen: in the middle of the night, in my dreams

With all your expertise in sneaking junk food into your house for your consumption, you had little to no knowledge in the area that was sneaking out.

Now you were sure you would have been fantastic at it, but you had, as described before, helicopter parents who were extremely protective of their darling daughter. You had been taught from an early age that everything you did wrong would always have consequences, and when you got punished for simply breaking a vase, you decided that sneaking out was definitely out of the question.

There was a difference between the two as well, for, in the food aspect of it, you were getting something into the house, but sneaking out required you to get out of the said house. Someone was sure to notice your missing presence, whereas when it came to pizza, you could simply hide it in your room.

Jaehyun texted you at midnight, telling you to get ready for him to pick you up. Now obviously this meant you had to sneak out, and at night too. That definitely added a level of excitement, so you changed out of the pajamas you had been rocking into some respectable clothes, which consisted of sweatpants and a hoodie you had stolen from your brother. You made sure to take one of his jackets that had somehow landed up in your closet as well, seeing it was still pretty cold outside, being January.

You managed to tiptoe out of the house without waking anyone up or tripping over your own feet. You took your copy of the keys with you, waiting for your boyfriend to show up. 

It still made you giddy thinking about it, Jung Jaehyun was yours. You had to be the luckiest girl in the world to have gotten someone as amazing and perfect as him to be yours.

He showed up with his car, and one midnight drive later you were leaning against the hood of his car, eating ice cream. Was that a good idea in this weather? Hell no, you were probably going to get a cold, but you didn’t really care. You were perfectly content with your coffee flavoured ice cream.

Life was good. 

Then again, anything involving ice cream made life good. It was just the general rule of thumb, something Jaehyun seemed to know considering he had taken you out for some.

He shivered, something he thought you had missed, but you had caught sight of it. Realizing he was cold, you shrugged off Johnny’s jacket handing it to him, seeing at all he was wearing was a thin tee shirt.

“Take it, you idiot.”

He protested, “Idiot? I buy you ice cream and I’m an idiot?”

“You’re cold and eating ice cream,” you clarified, pushing the jacket towards him, “Should fit you, it’s my brothers.” “Won’t you be-”

“I’m wearing his hoodie, it’s honestly hot under here,” you said, licking another spoonful of your ice cream. “This is very high school of you, sneaking out with me.”

“Everyone likes a good rom-com moment, don’t they?” He countered, pulling the jacket on. A frown appeared on his face as he looked at you for a moment, before speaking up. “Shouldn’t you be wearing my hoodie?”

“You never gave me any,” you clicked your tongue in mock disappointment, “Aren’t you the romance novelist?”

He rolled his eyes, “You’re going to use that everywhere aren’t you? And you’re supposed to steal them, and then I’m supposed to annoy you about stealing my clothes but I don’t actually mean it because I like when you wear them. There are levels to this shit.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, before bursting out into laughter, causing his eyes to widen in bewilderment at your outburst of amusement.

“Oh, you so read fan fiction in middle school,” you giggled like a giddy school girl at the ‘deer in headlights look that appeared on his face, telling you that you had hit the nail right on the head. “And you’ve probably watched more romantic movies than I have!”

“Not true.”

“How was 10 Thinks I Hate About You?

“Excellent thank you- wait how the fuck did you know I watched it?” He sounded so scandalized that you were thrown into another fit of laughter. He was just so endearing, you couldn’t help it. Finishing off your ice cream, you patted him on the shoulder and tugged on the sleeves of your hoodie.

“Sleepless in Seattle? Oooo, no what about Clueless?”

You received no answer to this, just him grumbling under his breath.

“If it makes you feel better, the first thing I’ll do in the morning is steal some of your clothes” You promised, trying to keep a straight face as much as possible. 

This seemed to please him, making you chuckle in amusement. He was just so odd, but something about it made him all the more charming. You crushed the disposable paper cup, pushing yourself off the hood to go throw it in the garbage.

“I’ll hold you to that,” he said, “Or I’ll show up with a suitcase of clothes and demand you take it.”

“How romantic,” you snickered and he joined you on your walk to the trash can on the footpath. He glared at you mockingly, trying to prove his point as he ran his fingers through his hair, taking your crushed up cup and threw it away for you.

“Thank you.”

Your thanks fell onto deaf ears as he earnestly tried to convince you of the level of his solemnity. “I’m serious, I will, and John will have a heart attack.”

You made a show of thinking about it, though the only thing properly on your mind was how soft your bed was going to be when you returned back home to crash. Nevertheless, the thought of giving your brother a metaphorical heart problem sounded rather entertaining to you even in your state of tiredness.

“Deal.”

chapter nineteen: the beginning of the end

Winter finally bid adieu and Spring came along, dancing cheerfully through the town, sprinkling flowers everywhere. Joy rushed in, as leaves unfurled and flowers bloomed, painting the world with greens and other bright colours.

Taeyong left town once again, and Ailiseu got accepted into that fashion program she had been waiting to hear back from. That kept her mind busy and off Yuta, who you hadn’t heard from at all. Someone mentioned he had moved away, whether that was true or not you didn’t know.

The odd sense of homesickness started to creep back, even though you were home. You were home but nothing was as you remembered it, too much had changed. It was just a familiar place with memories that had been forgotten by most.

“I’m thinking of moving out,” you declared, flopping down on the couch next to Jaehyun. He hummed in question, raising an eyebrow at your statement. “You know since I’m working and I don’t see myself going anywhere else for the time being. I can’t stay with my parents forever.” 

You picked up the guitar you had left on the end of the couch the day before, placing your fingers on the fret to play a G chord, idly strumming. “And I was thinking of getting back into music, trying to do something with it you know? Maybe I’ll record a demo or something.”

“You could teach,” he suggested helpfully and you shrugged, placing it back down and sighed. Kicking your legs up, you snuggled closer to him, head in his lap as you looked up at him.

“How do you do it?” You asked, genuinely curious. “You already have your life set out for you, and here I am.”

“It happened by an accident- a happy accident.”

“Bob Ross would be proud,” you grumbled, “And life is just beating the devil out of me, isn’t it?”

He chuckled, leaning over and pressing an affectionate kiss to your forehead. His hair tickled you and you giggled, shutting your eyes at the gesture so you didn’t get any of his hair in your eyes. 

“You’ll figure it out, I know you will.”

He said it with such conviction that you almost believed it yourself. You knew it was ridiculous to expect to be successful at such a young age, but everyone you knew seemed to have it figured out for themselves. 

It seemed like you were running this race and everybody else was way ahead of you. You were tired of running (understandable since you weren’t much of an athletic person during school) and you didn’t know where the finishing line was.

Spring danced away, its performance ending as Summer once again took its footing. You Had started saving up to get your own place even though your mother insisted it was fine. It was fine, but you wanted to one day order pizza without having to ask the delivery guy to come through the back door.

This time however you weren’t too concerned about deterring a cute pizza guy. 

Yellows and Oranges, summer turned into something you loved, as did it with Jaehyun. Speaking of him, he sat at his desk once again, that same journal open again- except this time it wasn’t the first page he was on.

He was five pages away from the end of the journal- and the book itself. The story itself had poured out of him over the past few months faster than anything he had ever written. Words were his best friend and they worked side by side with him as he wrote his next book.

The story was sweet, about two kids falling back in love with each other after reuniting. It was the usual, ‘it’s always been you’ type of scenario, but he was that type of writer who could just make a cliche like that work perfectly.

The problem was he had no clue how to end the story. Usually, the endings would come to him first, and he would build the book around it, but this time it was like everything had flipped the moment he started writing in the journal. This seemed like a good place to end the story, but he had no idea how. 

Then it struck him- not the ending, but what being close to the end of the story meant, with his publishing house and editor and everything. He stared at the pages, and placed the pen down silently, dread taking over him.

He had come home to find inspiration and it had hit him like a truck the moment he met you again. He had come home in the hopes of writing his newest book and now that he had, he realized that he shouldn’t have come in the first place.

Why?

Because Jung Jaehyun, the perfect man, had made his first- maybe second- mistake. A terrible mistake he knew he couldn’t ever fix. For once in his life he had faltered. He had been rash and childish and had played with fire even though he had been warned against it.

Everybody what happened when you played with fire. It was dangerous and you could get burnt, except this time he was going to be burning someone else in the process. The one person he really didn’t want to hurt.

Now he had to figure out how to tell you.

~

“Wanna go get something to eat?”

You asked Ailiseu and Jaehyun, turning around on your heel to face them. The three of you had been going around looking at apartments for you. Ailiseu had tagged along, but mostly for the food and to tell you about her colleagues.

“Sure! We should go to that place next to the apartment you liked,” she suggested and you nodded.

“Hey, maybe if I’m lucky I’ll live there soon! And then you two can come over anytime you like- hopefully, I get it and I can get settled before Christmas.” You looked over at your boyfriend, who was currently staring off into space at god knows what. “Sound good?”

“Huh- what? Oh yeah sure,” he said, scratching the back of his neck. He had been out of it all day today, distant even. He distractedly nodded, following along with you and your friend.

You hadn’t taken much thought to this, thinking he must have been tired or stayed up late or something of the sort, but Ailiseu had.

You were sitting at the table, and had finished ordering, when she looked over at him, studying his expression before it clicked. Narrowing her eyes, she placed the menu down, smiling politely at the waiter and elbowed him

He let out a small yelp, and she glared. You looked up from your phone, confused. “Something wrong?”

“Nothing!” She chimed in quickly before Jaehyun even had the chance to complain. He pulled a face, and unbeknownst to you, somehow she knew this and swiftly gave him a kick to his shin to shut him up. “I just need to talk to lover boy here for a moment, if you don’t mind?” ‘Lover boy’ looked less than thrilled at this, visibly befuddled at the sudden bout of physical abuse he was receiving from your friend. You shrugged, and nodded, “Yeah sure go ahead, I’ll watch the food.”

She threw Jaehyun a withering look, who was still trying to figure out why he was suddenly being persecuted as such. Nevertheless, he followed the girl, who was starting to look extremely scary all of a sudden.

Once they were out of your line of sight, she yanked him outside the cafe and onto the sidewalk, leaning against the wall of the building. Jaehyun saw this as good a time as any to ask what she was doing.

“What was that all about-”

“We’re not so different, you know?”

She stated this as if she was talking about the weather, straightforward. Taken aback, he waited for her to continue, leaning on his side against the wall. She turned her head to look at him and sighed.

“We’re both perfect, or expected to be at least,” she huffed, blowing some hair that had fallen in front out of her face. “I have to live up to my younger brother, as ridiculous as that sounds, and you? Well, it’s just written off, isn’t it?”

He didn’t quite know how to answer this accusation even though somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew she was right. Ailiseu clicked her tongue, shutting her eyes, and pressed her lips together.

“I’m just...whatever you’re thinking, just think it through okay? Don’t hurt Y/n.” It should have sounded like a warning, but it didn’t. It was just concern. “People like us, people who have expectations to meet and lines to colour inside of- we all have a downfall.”

“Downfall?” He inquired, not knowing how she picked up on what he may or may not do. 

“Ditto.”

“How so?”

“Since you’re expected to be so perfect, you can’t help but want to mess something up.”

He scoffed, “I don’t want to mess anything up-”

“It’s the way the world works,” she refuted calmly and sighed. There was a faraway look in her eye, almost as if she was speaking from experience.

“All I’m saying is don’t screw this up like I did, okay?” She said, coking her head to the side and gestured back to the door of the cafe. “We should get back, your girlfriend is waiting for us.” 

This was a warning, but it was warning him against himself. For some reason, he knew he had to hear it, and it struck something within him. The problem was he had already screwed it up, and there was nothing, not that he could think of at least, he could do to fix it.

And with that she left him there, her usual cheery demeanor was back like someone had flipped a switch. Jaehyun chewed the inside of his cheek, thinking over her words. She had a point, he knew, but he didn’t have much of a choice.

He never had one in the first place. 

chapter twenty: i’m only seventeen, i don’t know anything

You supposed that nothing had really changed in the years away, at least not on your part. You were still the same girl at heart, and your realization of the fact, you were still in love with Jaehyun definitely supported the argument.

Part of you wanted to laugh at the revelation, how did he manage to make you fall right back in love with him? You had always thought that first loves and puppy love never really lasted, and yet here you were, thinking about him while trying to finish the diamond painting that Yuta had gotten you for Christmas. Unfortunately, that was a slow process, and though you had been working on it for months now, you were barely done with half of it.

Diamon painting was serious business.

You sighed, trying to not smile, placing the applicating wand down. You were careful not to knock over the tray with the actual diamond, since that had happened thrice already and every time you had to clean up it slowly ate away at your ever-dimming willpower.

Love was funny that way, you would never be able to completely decipher its meaning. Did it ever fade away? Or did it stay once you had moved on, waiting for its candle to be lit once again if given the chance?

You had made two lines worth of progress, and deeming that enough for the night, you carefully poured the diamond back into their individual packets. You rolled the canvas up, and placed it at the end of your desk, using a paperweight to keep it from rolling off.

Getting to your feet, you took in a deep breath, glancing out of your window. That smile you were trying so hard to bite back broke out on your face, it was small but definitely there. Why?

Because you saw Jaehyun standing on the pavement right outside his house just as you had all those months, almost a year ago from the same spot you were standing at. This time, however, he didn’t have a suitcase beside him.

He was just staring at his house as if he was searching for something in its view but he didn’t know what. He seemed to be holding something- a journal maybe? As he stood there, watching and waiting. It was oddly full circle in a way.

Your eyes wandered to the side of his house, next to his porch where a peach tree was. Your smile melted off your face as you remembered what had happened there.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized, shaking hair out of his face, “but you know, I have to leave for college this year so it won’t work anyway, and this was just a summer thing.”

You stared at the boy wordlessly, not knowing how to respond. All you knew was that each one of his words hurt really bad, they were like a rod prodding at your heart, slowly tearing it to pieces. 

“Y-yeah,” you said, “I get that.”

He smiled sweetly, “It was fun. I should get going, I have dinner in a few.”

“Fun,” you repeated incredulously. Your voice was all funny and hollow-like, but you blinked rapidly, “Yeah, bye.” Seventeen year old you didn’t know what to think, but you knew that this was the first time you wanted to cry when you weren’t physically hurt in any way. 

You snapped out of it, scoffing to yourself and wondering why on earth you were thinking about that. It was over three years ago, it was ridiculous to hold any sort of emotion over the incident because at the moment you had everything you wanted.

At least that’s what you thought. 

chapter twenty one: closure

The inside of the old theater auditorium was pretty dingy if you were being honest with yourself. It was one large place, with a stage right and the front and seats covering the rest of it, each row on a higher step than the previous one.

You walked into the auditorium, into that space between the stage and the first row of seats, seeing that your boyfriend was already there. He was standing right near the stage, hands on it as he looked up. The dim lighting lit up his features and cast shadows over his face.

“Hey you,” you greeted him, smiling softly as you walked closer. He turned to look at you, nodding passively.

“Hey.”

Something was off, you could tell from the start. He didn’t return your smile, his voice was empty sounding and the air in the room seemed to somehow weigh down upon the two of you. You frowned, taking a step forward.

“Sooooo,” you started, looking around. This was the place you first developed a crush on him at the age of fifteen, and now you were back so many years later, but you couldn’t place the feeling that was taking over you. “Why’d you call me here?”

He studied your face, the way your eyes attentively paid attention to him, awaiting his response. The small pout of your lips, the outfit you were wearing that day, he took in whatever he could. Every little thing just made it harder for him to say what he wanted- no needed to say.

What you deserved to hear.

Well, that was the biggest overstatement anyone could make. Of all people, you were the last person who deserved this. He sighed, looking at his feet and then back at the stage.

“The worlds a stage and you’re my actress,” he said, and you blinked in confusion before realizing what he was referencing. “You Can Call Me Babe For The Weekend,” you responded, “I read your book.” You had read it after all, but what you didn’t understand was why he was suddenly quoting himself.

“I know you did, you told me,” he said, turning completely to face you. You still had that look on your face, confused and in the dark. He sucked in a deep breath and smiled softly, but it was a defeated, bittersweet smile.

“I’m almost done with my next book.”

“Thats great!” You exclaimed, before stopping, raising an eyebrow. Unlike you, he didn’t seem as enthusiastic about the fact. “It is great, right?”

“Yeah it is,” he said mindlessly, “It really is, I finally managed to get something new but I’m close to writing the end.” He cleared his throat uncomfortably and you immediately knew he was hiding something. “What is it, Jae?”

“I have to go back,” he blurted out all of a sudden, before exhaling. You blinked in shock at the sudden statement, staring at him wide-eyed. The silence was too much for him, and so he blabbered on, “To the city, since I’m almost done I have to-”

“Go back, I heard you,” you finished for him. “I just don’t understand what this has to do with me, I mean you’ll be coming back right?”

He stayed silent, refusing to meet your eyes. You sucked in a breath, shutting your eyes and repeating yourself. “Right?”

“I don’t know okay? I mean I may not come back because well I got my book and with editing and my publishing house being in the city it wouldn’t make sense.” His words, even though he was almost whispering, it resounded through you. He might as well have been speaking through a megaphone.

“Besides coming home was temporary anyway.”

That hit you the hardest because they sounded so similar to what you had once heard. It was just a summer thing, it was fun, we were just fooling around, it was just temporary.

You opened your mouth, then closed it, You turned around and away from Jaehyun because you knew where this was leading, it was just too damn obvious. “Temporary huh?”

“Y/n I didn’t mean it like-”

“Of course you didn’t,” you forced a cheery voice, “How else could you have meant it! My bad, maybe you were talking about the weather.”

“I-”

“Just say it already okay?”

“I’m sorry about summer.”

You whipped your head around, wondering how the fuck the conversation went there. He looked unbelievably guilty, chewing on his bottom lip, “I was a kid and stupid and-”

You scoffed, staggering away from him. “Contrary to popular belief, Yoonoh, I do not need your closure.” You spat the word out like it was poison, bitter and hard, “I know what happened that summer, and you do not need to justify it.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, hanging his head as he looked away from you. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing, to think that just a few minutes ago you were absolutely content with your life and how things were going, this was just a complete one-eighty degree flip from that.

A broken heart was something you had only read about, but you had never expected to actually have one. You never thought you could physically feel your heart shattering as if someone had yanked it out of your chest and was crushing it with their hands until all that was left was dust. 

You had felt this time of earth-shattering pain only once before when you were seventeen of course. A few days ago you were perfectly okay with being just like your high school self, but right now? God, you despised that trait of yours more than anything in the world. You had been in love with Jaehyn then and you were still in love with him and you hated it.

You hated being in love with him and you wished that you weren’t, in fact, you wished you had never fallen in the first place. It was your fault, after all, you were the idiot who let him string you along every single time.

You should have known, this was what he did. He took your heart and played you like a puppet until he had had his fill of fun. Then he left you to pick up your broken pieces alone in the cold while he continued on with his life.

“I’m so stupid,” you hissed, the ache in your chest increased with every second you spent in front of him. “Oh my god, I hate you.”

Jaehyuns eyes widened and he reached out to grab your hand, “Y/n-”

“Don’t,” you warned, slapping his hand away and sucking in a breath. You wanted to cry, fuck, you wanted to scream and cry so badly but it just wouldn’t happen. For some reason, you couldn’t cry and it only hurt more. It was getting hard to breathe through the torrent of emotions that had crashed upon you and you were in no way prepared for them.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid-”

“You’re not stupid,” he made you look at him, holding you by the shoulders as you slowly broke down in front of him, but not noticeably enough, “Babe- Y/n’,” he corrected himself. “This is my fault.”

You chuckled, but it was devoid of any humour. Love- or losing it rather hurt like a bitch, more than anything you had ever experienced. This was worse than the last time because this time you had actually believed it was for real. All the signs had led you to trust him, but that was your mistake.

Hope was just as finicky as inspiration was, it was a feeling of the moment thing. Sometimes it lasted for long periods of time, sometimes it was just a spark to keep you warm on a cold day. You had hoped and you had been crushed, completely and utterly crushed.

“No it’s mine,” you said, pulling away from his touch because you didn’t want to ever be near him again. “I was the one who was stupid enough to fall in love with you twice, wasn’t I?”

His lips parted and for the first time that evening, he was speechless. You swallowed the lump in your throat, sniffling as you turned on your heel and walked out of the auditorium. It was strangely poetic, you had walked out on him from the place you had first fallen.

The world loved irony, it always had. You opened the door to the driver’s seat of your car, before slamming it shut and screaming into your palm. Tears finally sprung to your eyes as you leaned against the vehicle, eyes screwed shut as it hit you.

Your throat went dry, your knees felt weak. You couldn’t think straight as you stood there, completely heartbroken. You had fallen in love with the boy you just weren’t supposed to be with and it was time you learned that.

But you never learned, did you? You were a hopeless idiot, and you knew it. You deserved this, but at the same time, you knew you deserved so much better.

You didn’t want better, because all you had wanted, ever since you were fifteen, was Jung Jaehyun.

Pulling yourself together, you opened the door once again and got into the car, resting your hands on the steering wheel. You stared right ahead at the number plate of the car in front of yours, making no motion to move. Those tears finally broke free, making their way down your face as you broke down for real.

You were homesick, and so you turned to the one person you thought could bring back whatever joy you had in the first place, to reinstill that childish memory of your hometown. In a way, he definitely had now, but this was the last thing you had thought of.

You turned the keys in the ignition, starting the car up, and shakily took a deep breath, wiping away your tears with the sleeve of the jacket you were wearing- his jacket. Pulling out of the spot you parked in, you drove away, as far as you could from Jaehyun, until you didn’t even know where you were yourself.

All you knew was that he wasn’t coming back.

~

Days turned into weeks, but this time everybody knew. Johnny didn’t know how to navigate the situation except give you space and as many ice cream tubs of raspberry ripple as you wanted. For some reason, the ice cream didn’t make life any better, all it did was remind you of what you had lost.

Jaehyun boarded his flight with his journal in his hand. Though he had never wanted to come home, now he didn’t want to leave because there was something holding him down, and he had idiotically let that something run away for the second time.

He was the romance author, he should have known that second chances didn’t come along very often, and third chances were miracles. He had been handed one and he had wasted it.

He left in August, in the very end of summer and everything ended along with him the moment he took his window seat in the plane. He pulled down the retractable table and opened the journal to the last few pages.

He finally knew how the story ended.

chapter twenty two: there’ll be happiness after you

Weeks turned into months and you did move. You got another job in a music store teaching the little kids that wanted to start getting into music, or rather, their parents wanted them to get into it. 

You got your own apartment and ordered pizza as much as you wanted, and you learned how to live in your town, the town it had grown into when you were away for college. You didn’t have the apartment for Christmas as you had hoped, but you had had it by March.

Ailiseu moved away by July, and the months turned into years. Loneliness was something you had grown accustomed you, so much so you didn’t even feel it anymore. You made new friends, you waited till people came back for the holidays, you spent your Fridays watching Netflix and weekends were spent at your parent’s house.

It was a life you had been presented with and a life you were making work. Somewhere between this mess, Chenle came to visit, which brought it a lovely amount of publicity for the town. Taeyong came for Christmas, still without his friend but you knew better than to ask.

You understood the wistful look he held every time someone brought her up, it was a familiar look because you saw it every time you looked in the mirror.

You were still fifteen and age twenty-two, and twenty-three.

You walked along the footpath, waving to one of the elderly ladies of the town out of politeness, standing across the road and waiting for it to clear so you could get to the bus stop. Looking over, you thought you saw a familiar silhouette, hair and everything, only for that speculation to be crushed the moment the man turned around.

It wasn’t who you hoped- thought it was.

Not hoped, hope was dangerous. Sighing, you crossed and waited for the bus. You were going to that bookstore that was near the frozen yogurt shop, the one Jaehyun used to work in when the two of you were in high school. 

Part of you wondered what life would be like if you never met Jaehyun in the first place. Maybe you wouldn’t be at home, maybe you would have done something else. It didn’t matter now, it wasn’t like you could rewrite everything that had happened when you were younger.

The bus made its stop and you got in, bagging a seat at the back as you took out your phone, scrolling through it to pass time on the ride there. 

What you said that day in the theater, about how you hated him, couldn’t have been farther from the truth. You loved him and it made you bitter, so much so you said things you really didn’t mean.

You got off the bus, standing outside the store, and took in a deep breath. You pushed open the doors, taking in the familiar surroundings, and sighed, spotting the owner. She was the same, typing away at her laptop, eyes focused on the screen.

You walked up to the check-out counter, leaning against it. “Hey.”

She looked up, a knowing smile on her face. Shutting her laptop, she pushed it to the side to give you were full attention.

“You finally got it huh?” She asked and you hummed, nodding. 

“My story, yeah, I believe I do.”

“I’m all ears,” she moved to the side so you could walk behind the counter and take a seat before sighing. You finally understood what she had meant that day when you had bought his book. 

“I was fifteen,” you started, and you told her your story, a story that had definitely begun, and you didn’t know if it had ended, but it was a story nonetheless.

It was time for a new story because you knew there would be happiness after Jaehyun, but there was Jaehyun because of him. It was time to move on and write a new chapter of the story, or to close the book on this one.

“...And this is the story of how I fell in love.”

epilogue— cardigan

Jaehyuns phone rang and he pinched the bridge of his nose, picking it up. It was his editor, and it was an ungodly hour of the night to be receiving any calls but he was used to it. Holding it up to his ear, he shut his laptop.

“Yes?”

“We need to talk about a book signing,” the editor’s voice cut through, clear and sharp, “For your book, Betty.”

“I know the name of my book Jungwoo,” he clicked his tongue, “Just email me the details will you?” “Already have. Your flight is in a week, I’ll be following a little later.”

“Sounds good. Is that all?”

He could hear the humoured chuckle of his editor and the amused look on his face over the call. “Good job on the book Jung, another best-seller, very different from your usual happy endings.”

“What can I say, I like keeping people on their toes,” he said, “Good night, or should I say good morning?”

“Go to sleep.”

Jungwoo cut the call and Jaehyun shook his head, tossing his phone on his couch. Walking to his bedroom, he yawned, switching on the softer lights and sitting down. On his bedside table, his book was displayed.

The book he had written was based on his stay two years ago back home. Betty was a hit, moving people young and old. Usually, he would have at least a paragraph as the summary on the back, but this time it was just one sentence.

‘The worst thing that I ever did, was what I did to you.’

A week later, he couldn’t believe where he found himself, right back home once again, but this time with his editor. He sat at the table, signing books and talking to his fans, fans he didn’t know but someone he came from the same place as them.

He found himself signing yet another front page of his book, as he hummed along to whatever the person standing there waiting for him was saying, smiling at what he thought was the right intervals. It was the dedication page, but it was mysterious, because he had dedicated it to a seventeen-year-old girl, but never mentioned her name.

Handing the book back, he waited for the next person, sighing. The walked up, placing the book on the table and speaking up.

“You screwed up, didn’t you?”

Snapping his head up, he saw Ailiseu standing there, a smirk on her face. Before he could answer, she took her book back. “Forget it, I don’t need the book signed, I already knew what it was about and I know the author personally.”

He pressed his lips together. “You were right. I did screw up.”

“Fix it then. You have a lunch break now.” She said, placing a small piece of paper on the table, “I have a feeling she won’t mind.”

Jaehyun swallowed. “She won’t?”

Ailuseu shrugged, “You don’t have to take my opinion, go find out yourself.” Giving him a pointing look, she turned around and walked away. Jaehyun smoothed out the crumpled piece of paper, studying its words. It looked like an address.

He knew what he had to do.

She was right, it was his lunch break, so he grabbed his coat and cap, getting out of the venue. He didn’t take the car, instead opting to walk the way to the place he had been directed to.

He was scared because he didn’t know how you would react. You had probably forgotten all about him, moved on with your life. He definitely hadn’t, something always led his thoughts and himself back to you, so much so that he wrote a whole book about it.

He was haunted by everything he did, with the way you had looked at him that day. In the disbelief he had to face with how it ended, he couldn’t reinvent himself, not this time at least.

Jaehyun reached the address, and it wasn’t an apartment complex, but a house. So much had changed and he was standing at the root of it all. He saw someone move in the windows and looked didn’t know if he should knock or not.

But it turned out, he didn’t need to, because you happened to look through the window, freezing on the spot when you saw him. He stood there, hands in his pockets, eyes meeting yours.

You took a step back, wondering if you had hallucinated. It was him, it definitely was. Your feet moved on their own accord carrying you to the door and you opened it, standing there and staring at him.

He stood on your front porch, he looked older just as you did. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in, leaning against the door and just taking him in.

“Jaehyun.”

He smiled softly, looking around, “Y/n.”

A sad smile made its way onto your face as the two of you stood there, a million unsaid things and paths that could have been explored. Somehow, something inside of you told you you had known he would be there.

“Been a while.”

“It has,” you agreed, “I read your book.”

He returned your smile, “Told you I wouldn’t let you down.”

“You never have,” you said,” realizing it was true. Life was cruel and this was life. He had just done what he needed to, just as you had. The look in his eyes was grateful and he sighed, taking a step closer to you.

“It’s summer,” he whispered, and you nodded.

“Indeed it is.”

fin.

#knm.natsuyo #jaehyun x reader #kpopscape #ankathia #nctcreations #nct-writers #neowritingsnet #cznnet #kokonomi #NEOCULT:redemption #neoswitch #jaehyun #jung jaehyun x reader #jaehyun oneshots #jaehyun x oc #jaehyun x female reader #jaehyun imagines #jaehyun scenarios #nct 127 scenarios #nct 127 fanfiction #nct #nct jaehyun x reader #jaehyun fluff #jaehyun angst #jaehyun suggestive #nct angst #jaehyun fanfiction

[chicksung]

Beneath The Skin || Zhong Chenle

part of @pastelsicheng ai collab

Genre: ai!au, school au, robot au, mystery, angst

Pairing: ai!chenle x gender neutral reader

Word Count: 9.2k

Warning/s: kidnapping, mentions of death and murder, corrupt company, breaking into the school at night

Synopsis: Chenle’s only purpose was to blend into society, never to stand out and certainly not to be wrapped up in a mystery, but life has a strange way of bringing people together, even if it pulls others apart.

A/N: After two months and an extension, I finally finished this baby. I’ve been so excited to post it because I’ve never written a fic like it. Thank you to @clovdless and @moonbeamsung for beta reading this fic for me! I really appreciate it! Please enjoy lovely!

Taglist: @cloudyhaos​ @taecup-fics​ @lebrookestore​ @radiorenjun​ @earth-to-that-asian​ @pastelsicheng​ @jisungiest @angelhee

Networks: @kpopscape @neoturtles @nct-writers @neoswitchnet @ficscafe @ankathi-a

i would like to note that this is fiction. all characters and events used in this are fictional depictions and are in no way shape or form true/real

Any and all feedback is appreciated

Chenle was good at reading emotions. The girl sitting alone on the bench outside the library was content. The boy who used too much gel in his hair this morning was proud. The smart girl who had everyone copy her homework answers was undoubtedly annoyed. He could read them like books on the library shelf, it was as easy as stealing a blind man’s wallet (although Chenle would never commit such a heinous crime) and you would think it was because they were easy to read. You’d be wrong. 

The smart girl always put on a plastic smile, masking her annoyance with unlimited kindness towards her classmates, so how could Chenle tell she was annoyed?

Chenle was one of seven AI humanoid robots, created for the sole purpose to integrate into society. Robotic teenagers, learning how to handle the world, how to get a job and solve basic math. They were programmed to read and react accordingly to emotions, however unable to truly understand humans and connect with them on an emotional level, as they were incapable of feeling said emotions. These kids had a lot to learn about humans, so step one would be learning amongst them.

The class moved slowly, slower than it should be. Chenle didn’t care about it. Why would he care about the mechanics of a robot, he already knew everything. He was a robot. He didn’t have to try to be good at this class, for him, it was like writing an autobiography. His eyes lazily scanned across his peers, some looking as bored as he was, and then his eyes landed on you. You, who was rapidly scribbling down notes as Mr. Moon continued to talk about circuit boards, wanting to understand everything he was saying. 

“Right now, class. Question time,” Mr. Moon announced, turning around, folding his arms and leaning back against the whiteboard. “What are the basic elements needed to create a circuit?” He called out, watching somewhat disapprovingly as only two hands out of the twenty three students in his class shot up. “Yes, Y/N?” He pointed to you, recognising you as one of the students who decided to put in some effort.

“Voltage, path and a resistor,” you answered confidently, quite pleased with how your robotics teacher smiled. 

“Absolutely correct!” He praised before thinking for another few seconds. “What significance do certain foods, such as pickles and lemons, provide to a circuit?” He saw the same two hands rise, a disappointed sigh leaving his lips as he adjusted his glasses. “Come on, guys. I don’t stand up here and teach you these things for half an hour for nothing,” he expressed his disappointment before calling on Chenle.

“They both provide electrolytes,” he said, trying not to let the bored tone taint his voice. 

“Correct,” Mr. Moon smiled at him before looking between the both of you. “Some friendly competition would do this class some good,” he joked before returning to his desk and beginning to ramble about this week’s homework. 

You looked to Chenle, a smirk adorning your lips. Chenle seemed to catch this and smirked right back.

The library was a nice place to study after school. It was quiet, not many students chose it over the comfort of their own home, a sanctuary for those who valued studying in peace. Your earphones filled your head with sweet melodies and lyrics, jumbling together with the memorisation of your science notes. You heard a chair scrape from beside you over the music blaring in your ears. You looked up from your notes and textbook to see a familiar face. You didn’t immediately recognise him, however you wouldn’t have to wait long to figure out where you had seen him before. “You seem to know a lot about robotics,” he commented, a teasing tone in his voice. You gave a half smile, not sure whether to take it as a compliment or a venomous jab at your intelligence. 

“I do,” you replied, going back to the book in front of you, not wanting to waste another second on some classmate you had known for less than a few hours. “I would say we are like minded, wouldn’t you?” He shrugged, dropping down into the seat next to you. He slowly pulled out some school supplies, a textbook or two, a pencil and a book with the word ‘notes’ written across the top. “Is there something you want?” You asked, slightly irritated. Chenle looked at you with a baffled look on his face. “Isn’t it obvious? I’m here to study,” he shrugged, pulling his textbook and notebook from his back and opening to his latest page of notes from his literature class, sweeping his eyes over them. He really had no need to revise notes, but he did it because he found it fun. He never understood why humans found this such a tedious task. 

“Well, you’re here now, might as well be nice. Do you wanna listen to music with me?” You offered one of your earphones to the boy, who stared it for a moment before accepting it. Upon placing the bud in his ear, a song he did not recognise began to play. Despite this, he began to hum the tune and mumble the lyrics like it was second nature. Software silently whirred as it connected the audio playing from your device to the song, giving him the lyrics and tune, like he had been playing this song on repeat for weeks on end.

“You know this song?” You asked, surprised.

“No,” Chenle said truthfully. 

“You don’t know the song, but you know the lyrics to it?” You questioned, quite alarmed and confused by his actions. Chenle nodded simply, not realising what he had said. While you thought it was weird, you decided to brush it off as he did know the song, he just couldn’t recall all the words. 

After three quarters of an hour, you began to pack up your things, yanking your other earphone from Chenle’s ear. He hissed softly, copying the way he assumed others would react in this situation.

“Hey! What the hell!” He whined, holding his ear carefully and glaring at you. You rolled your eyes, and shoved your things into your bag. 

“Quit whining, would you? I’m going home. You’re coming to school tomorrow, right?” You huffed, slinging your backpack over your shoulder. Chenle gave a sly smile. 

“Why would you like to know?” He snickered, causing your cheeks to feel like they are on fire. 

“Because I don’t know if we have a test tomorrow and I might as well tell you if you’re not gonna be there. I don’t know if you’re gonna get sick,” you bluffed, averting your eyes from Chenle out of embarrassment. 

These were one of those moments Chenle actually enjoyed being an android. He never missed a day of school, he never missed tests or assignments. He had seen several students go through sickness and he thanked all his lucky stars that he would never have to endure that. “I can assure you, I’ll be at school tomorrow. I won’t get sick,” he assured you with a tight smile. You half nodded, an equally tight smile flashed to him. 

“See you tomorrow then,” you bade him before exiting the library. 

Aera let out a long sigh, glad to have finished her notes for the evening. She shoved her books and stationery into her backpack and left her desk, stress falling from her tense shoulders. 

“Hey, heading out for today?” A voice called from behind, causing her head to turn and make eye contact with the student library monitor, Hannah. Aera nodded, “I finally finished studying for today. I have a test tomorrow, you know? A little last minute, yes, but it gets done at least.” Hannah smiled sweetly, tidying up a small pile of books on her desk.

“Good luck with the test. I’m sure you’ll do amazing,” she encouraged, leaning back in her chair. The two exchanged goodbyes and Aera stepped out into the hall, blending in with the after school study crowd. She quickly stowed her books into her assigned locker, snapping the padlock shut and began her practised route home. Her favourite artist played in her ears, rhythmically stepping in time to the beat. She felt free, a feeling she desperately needed after the stress her coursework had put on her over several weeks. With her most important sense blocked, she was deaf to the world, and a large target had been painted on her school blazer. A figure followed her footsteps, getting close enough to hear her music from outside of her earbuds. A hand covered her mouth, muffling her surprised scream. She kicked and flailed, trying to break free from the grip. The figure pulled her into the bushes, dragging her through the dirt. She angled her feet upwards, digging her heels into the soft dirt. 

“Let go of me!” Aera screeched, trying to somehow overpower her attacker. A deep chuckle, a male, resonated from behind her.

“The boss is gonna be pleased with this one,” he sneered, restricting Aera’s breath intake. She choked, scratching at his arm in an attempt to pull it away. Slowly, she eased into his arms, barely breathing but still alive. He lifted the girl into a better position to carry her. He groaned loudly, “With every mission, they get more feisty,” He complained, trudging his way towards a restricted fenced off area, a large warehouse sitting in the middle.

“Students and faculty are asked to listen up as this information is urgent and extremely important. Last night, one of our students did not return home and the police and her parents are begging anyone that knows anything to come forward. You will be greatly rewarded. Thank you and have a great rest of your day,”

Your classmates looked to one another, shocked by the news just shared throughout the entire school. Whispers of who the stolen girl could be, checking for any absent students and empty desks. Most students came to the conclusion that there are so many female students throughout several grades, so it would be hard to pinpoint one student.

“Shouldn’t we wait until the missing person posters come out?” Jeno shrugged, looking for answers within his friend group. Most murmured some sort of excuse, but they all silently and collectively agreed with him.

That was only the first. The first of five disappearances.

Brooke, the captain of the debate team. Tahmina, the sweet senior and friend to all. Aera, the vice president of the book club. Angie, the artistic student counsellor, and finally, Hannah, the student library monitor. All disappearing in the exact same way, without a trace.

Despite being unnerved about the whole situation, you couldn’t deny that the mystery aspect drew you in. Seeing posters around the schoolyard and the small city you lived in, albeit disconcerting, fascinated you. Questions of ‘how?’ and ‘why?’ swam in your head, tickling your natural curiosity. It was the talk of the town and it had everyone thinking.

Well, everyone except Chenle.

“Why is everyone talking so much? I’ve never seen this before,” Chenle pondered aloud, looking to you for answers. Your face dropped, a deadpan look written across your face.

“You’re joking, right?” He shook his head and you held back the urge to facepalm in front of him. You swivelled around in your chair to properly face the boy, trying to keep your voice. “Students have been disappearing without a trace. The school is telling everyone not to panic and that the kids will be found,” you whispered to him, watching as he furrowed his eyebrows together. 

“Disappearing?” He repeated, looking as if he was doing a thousand mathematical equations in his head (which wouldn’t surprise you. He was good at math).

“Mhm, but I think the school knows more than they’re letting on,” you felt a small smile creep across your lips, a silent wish of wanting to tell him more. 

“What makes you say that?” He questioned, your words piquing his interest. You looked around, making sure that no one else was listening in on your conversation. 

“Don’t you think it’s weird that the school has stayed open? I mean, five of their students have disappeared in less than two weeks. Surely they would close down until they have some solid answers. The fact that they’ve stayed open is the most suspicious thing about this whole thing,” you explained, drawing invisible lines in the air as if connecting things. Chenle nodded with every word you spoke. 

“Then what do you want to do about it?” He uttered, starting to realise the warning signs you spoke of. Five students had disappeared and the school had remained open? That is weird.

“I wanna look into it more, but I can’t do it alone,” you sighed, a defeated tone in your voice. Chenle picked up on this, registering it and thinking. He looked at you and took a deep breath. 

“I’ll help you,” he announced. You straightened your posture at his words, a little shocked.

“You will?” 

“Yep. You’ve intrigued me, so let’s help each other. Sound like a deal?” He stuck his hand out, waiting for you to respond to his action. You stared at his head, two voices telling you two different outcomes. One reminded you that you had only just met this boy and you shouldn’t trust blindly. The other told you to live a little, and you knew damn well that you needed Chenle’s help. With his intellect and your sharp mindedness, you would have quite a powerful team. 

You nodded, taking his hand, squeezing tightly and giving it a firm shake. 

“Deal,” you smiled. Chenle shifted his chair over to your desk, pushing aside your textbook. 

“So do you have a plan? Anywhere we could start?” He asked, eyes wide with wonder.

“When I asked if you had a plan, I was thinking more along the lines of possible suspects, connections or similarities the kids had. Not once did breaking in cross my mind,” Chenle informed, watching you struggling to find a way into the school building. Night had fallen over the once peaceful town, the chill in the air blew against your cheek, making you shiver occasionally. A bobby pin was slotted into the keyhole, with which you attempted to turn it in the correct direction for it to grant you entrance. Chenle shook his head at your pathetic attempts. 

“Do you even know how to pick a lock?” He groaned, straightening his posture and sitting beside you. You shot him a dirty look. 

“Do you know how to pick a lock, James Bond?” You deadpanned, standing up and dusting off your knees. Chenle plucked the bobby pin from your fingers and reassumed your previous position in front of the door. He jangled the handle a few times, trying to see if he had shifted the lock, even a little.

“Five bucks says you can’t do it,” you scoffed, your arms firmly folded across your chest.

“Ten bucks says I can,” he countered, a mischievous smirk on his face. You nodded your head curtly.

“Done,” you were confident in your response, if you couldn’t pick it with a bobby pin, there is no way in hell he would be able to...right?

Turning the bobby pin just far enough, a soft click indicated that Chenle, had in fact, picked the lock. Your eyes boggled out of your head, trying to figure out how he completed a task you had been slaving away at for ten minutes. Chenle turned to you, a smirk playing at his lips.

“Ten bucks says I can, and I did, so when do I get my prize money?” You rolled your eyes at his words, pushing past him and walked through the threshold, the blonde boy on your tail. 

The hallway was dark, lit up only by the weak beam of light from your phone. It had the chilling similarity to that of a ghost town. It was strange seeing the halls so deserted, like it had been stripped bare of any possible personality it could contain. Being able to hear your own footsteps was unsettling, but pushed through the feeling. 

“What exactly are we doing here again?” Chenle questioned, scanning the drab grey walls. You tutted. 

“Do you ever pay attention, Zhong?” You scoffed playfully, expertly navigating the maze of halls, “we are looking for the security office,” you informed him, the door with ‘Security Office, No Students Permitted’ written on the sign hanging from loose screws that barely hung it to it. 

“Why?” Chenle continued to ask, finally catching up to you. 

“Because each of the students that went missing all disappeared while leaving school grounds.If we can trace them, even slightly, on the cameras, we might be able to find a link to them, a suspect, something,” you explained, closing in on the door. You grasped the door handle, the door swinging open. It had been left unlocked. You and Chenle exchanged a glance, causing you to shrug. “Saves us from picking another lock,” you joked, walking into the office, hearing Chenle snicker at your remark. 

Screens littered the room, none online. With the simple flip of a switch, each monitor flickered to life, illuminating the room. Static filled each screen, refusing to show you anything. You grabbed the computer mouse, jiggling it to wake the main screen from its slumber. A small bar with a small space, an arrow right beside it. A small space for a password.

“Password protected,” you groaned, silently cursing yourself for being so blind to the obvious. Of course it would be password protected, you idiot. 

Chenle glanced at the monitor, thousands of combinations flashing before his eyes like a hallucination, a highlighted combination sticking out to him. 

“Let me try. I’m good at computers,” he remarked, pulling back the office chair and beginning to type at the keyboard. 

“Good luck,” you scoffed, “There are literally thousands of several thousand possibilities. Cracking the code tonight would have to take-”

“Got it,” Chenle interjected, watching as the screen loaded the desktop display. 

“-a miracle,” you whispered at the end of your sentence, leaning down to get a closer look. You had heard that Chenle was intelligent, but this exceeded your expectations. 

“How did you do that? You have to be some kind of robot,” you exclaimed.

Chenle laughed nervously. “Nope. Completely human,” his sentence was stiff but you didn’t seem to notice, “I told you I’m good at computers,” he continued by shrugging. Flicking the mouse into action, you clicked on the camera icon. A few seconds ticked by before the application opened, and several small boxes popped up on the screen, each showing a different fixed spot of the school. 

“Okay, how far back are we looking?” The boy asked, flicking his eyes between you and the screen. Tapping a few keys, footage over the past few hours flooded the screen.

“Five days. They all went missing within the span of a week, so if we look back through those days, we might be able to spot them and track them from there,” you explained, flicking through the sea of students, hoping to spot one of the missing students. 

Time seemed to slow down as you skimmed through the cameras, the footage starting to blur together, each face of the students started to blend into nothing when out of the corner of your eye, you saw something.

“There!” You called out, pausing the footage. You fished in your pocket for your phone. Your camera roll held the posters of each of the missing students, their details, their appearances, every piece of basic information. Holding your phone up to the monitor, you flicked through the posters, trying to match them up.

“Who is it?” Chenle asked, analysing the screen himself. Maybe he was running low on charge, maybe he didn’t recognise her, whatever it was, she wasn’t showing up on his database. 

“I’m getting there,” you spoke dramatically, swiping through the posters. Flicking your thumb right across the screen, you found a matching pair.

“Aera,” you breathed, standing bolt straight, half in realisation and shock. Chenle continued the footage, following her on the camera. Aera’s first stop was her locker, collecting her belongings and placing them delicately in her bag. She then entered the library, talking to the student library monitor. She scanned the bookshelves, but ultimately decided to loan out a book. She descended down the staircase, twisted around each corner and finally began to walk down the same route she used to get home every day. 

The two of you watched the footage closely, carefully scanning for any kind of clue that might allude to what happened to the poor girl. Something was off. Not with the situation, you concluded. Something about the footage was off. The screen flickered, and suddenly, Aera was gone. 

“Huh?” You voiced your confusion, looking closer at the screen. You rewound the tape, trying to locate her. Chenle perked his head up.

“What is it?” He called out, leaning forward to look at the screen. You groaned in frustration and slammed your hands onto the keyboard. 

“She can’t just disappear into thin air. That’s not humanly possible! It’s just not!” You shouted, running a stressed hand through your hair and began pacing the room. He furrowed his eyebrows at you.

“What do you mean she disappeared?” He questioned, rewinding the tape and watching carefully. You were right. Aera had disappeared, almost as if she was never there in the first place. Chenle replayed it several times over, trying to find some sort of explanation to her vanishing. The more Chenle replayed it, the more he kept seeing a trip in the footage. He waved you over.

“Look at it again,” he encouraged, pointing to the screen. Unimpressed with your poor abilities, you stared at the screen. He played the clip again for you, and you saw it too. It was minor, something that if you blinked at the wrong time, you would miss it. You stared at it.

“Do you think that-” you started before Chenle cut you off.

“Think that someone has tampered with the cameras? Yes I do,” he completed your sentence, eyebrows knitted together. He tapped a few keys, revealing another camera and rewinding. It was the library camera, “but there’s another thing I noticed while you were focusing on Aera,” he paused the footage, focusing on the student library monitor. You internally slapped yourself that you missed yet another thing. The student librarian, Hannah, was another one of the missing persons. 

“Follow her. See if it’s the same,” you instructed, shifting your weight onto the other foot. Chenle did as you said, switching the cams each time she walked out of frame. Coincidentally, she took the same route home as Aera, walking past the dark green bushes before the footage trips and, just like the girl before her, disappears. 

“This can’t be a coincidence. We should look around the area and find if there are any clues,” you chewed on your bottom lip nervously. Two of the missing students just happen to go missing on the same day, in the same place. The chances of the two cases not being connected had slimmed down dramatically in a matter of minutes.

“I don’t mean to alarm you,” Chenle started, flicking back to the current cameras, “but I think we forgot that there is a night watchman,” he chuckled nervously, “and he’s headed straight for us.”

Another week passed, and there was no seemingly reasonable explanation for the disappearances, and the school was beginning to be targeted by the media, theories of the principal abusing his power and having some sort of human experiment programme lying within the school halls and parents were pulling their children out left, right and centre. Guilt weighed on your conscience. You knew more about this whole ordeal than anyone else in the entire school. Well, not everyone. Chenle had his own suspicions. No matter how many calculations he did in his head, everything pointed to the same place, and he did not like it. Not one bit. If he continued to follow this case, he could lose so much, his schooling, his place in society, but most of all you, the only friend he had made in this damn place. 

“Hello? Earth to Zhong?” You waved your hand frantically in front of the blond’s face, catching his attention that was drifting away.

His head snapped up, “Huh?” He hadn’t heard a single word you had said, “Sorry. I zoned out.” He wasn’t completely lying, yes he couldn’t physically zone out, but he wasn’t listening either.

“Count on you to tune me out, Lele,” you tutted, tapping your pen to your open notebook, detailing theories, clues and some badly drawn composite sketches of known criminals in the area, but none of them had pulled something like this, so they could quickly be ruled out of this ‘investigation’ as there was no way they would have the metaphorical balls to pull such a stunt.

Chenle scratched the back of his head, “Sorry. I just didn’t sleep very well last night,” he chuckled nervously. You narrowed your eyes at him but shrugged off his strange behaviour. You guessed it was part of his charm. The bell rang sharply, every student in the class unanimously standing up to gather their things and make their way towards ther cafeteria. The warm weather was starting to set in, so most students were prompted to sit outside, seeing as today wasn’t overwhelmingly hot. 

“We should sit outside today. It’s nice today, so let’s utilise the weather while we still can,” you turned to the boy, slinging your backpack over your shoulder. He nodded, not seeing any immediate reason to deny your request. The pair of you walked to a shaded area, sitting down underneath it and sighing in harmony. 

“These disappearances are getting harder and harder to solve,” you complained, picking at a dead leaf on the pavement. Chenle hummed, but he wasn’t registering your words. He was focused on something else. He was certain you hadn’t seen it, you were too busy rambling on about your theories to notice it.

“Chenle, are you even listening?” You stopped your nonsense to draw attention to the fact he was not contributing to the conversation.

“Y/N, for five seconds, just shut up,” he wasn’t looking at you. He had tunnel vision on it.

“That’s rude-”

“Shut up and look,” Chenle pointed to where he had been staring. You scanned over the area, cold pavement with the occasional spotted sunlight glaring through the leaves. 

“Lele, there’s nothing there,” you sighed, looking at him but the blond shook his head. He moved to the other side of the pavement, swatting over a slab of it. He picked up the slim hair strand with his index finger and thumb, rubbing it against each other. His scanners analysed the DNA before his eyes, the result scaring him.

“Chenle, what are you-” 

“Hair strand,” Chenle interjected, looking at it. You stood next to Chenle, the boy standing to his full height, “Light brown, slightly curly, and comparing this to the amount of posters I’ve seen, I’d like to guess this is…Hannah’s.” Your eyes widened, shaking your head.

“Stop. You’re scaring me,” you chewed your lip nervously as you stared at him. You had this sinking feeling he was right. You didn’t want him to be, but the evidence was damning. 

“Come on,” Chenle grabbed your wrist, pulling you towards the side exit of the school.

“What the fuck, no! Chenle, we still have another class after lunch,” you protested, trying to pry your wrist from his grasp, but he only tightened it. 

“What’s more important, your grades or the potential lives of your peers? Make up your fucking mind, Y/N,” he hissed, looking out for any of the staff members before stepping off the campus. You were taken aback by his words but he was right, again. These were human lives on the line. And what’s one truancy, right?

Chenle had finally let go of your hand after you had walked several blocks and were given a few strange looks from middle aged women walking their dogs. You had lost count of how long the two of you had been walking, but the dull ache in your feet was becoming more apparent. 

“How did you know it was Hannah’s?” You asked exasperatedly, trying your best to keep up with Chenle’s long strides. Chenle ignored your question, a stoic expression still present on his face. “Zhong Chenle, I’m talking to you,” You sighed.

“It just fit the description, okay?” Chenle furrowed his brows, an illusion of stress on his face. He stopped suddenly, causing you to walk straight into his back, although it didn’t faze the boy. 

“Chenle, what the fuc-”

“Look,” he pointed to beside a large bush, track marks, or more so, drag marks. They led off into the thicket, disappearing out of sight. He seemed shaken, scared even? The teenager stepped off the path, following the tracks.

“Where are you going?” You called to him, following the blond into the shrubbery.

“Wherever the tracks go,” he muttered, silently praying that they did not lead him where he thought they would. You examined the tracks as you walked. At first, you thought they belonged to an animal, who suffered the short end of the stick during a standoff with another animal, but as you moved forward, you noticed something branded into the dirt. It was Converse logo, a staple that was situated on the back of the shoe’s band. 

“Chenle-”

“I know,” he nodded solemnly, “I know.” The tracks stopped, cutting off at a chain link fence. Behind the fence was a warehouse of sorts. There seemed to be only one entrance, a large door, locked obviously. There was a large sign that labeled the strange warehouse. LSM Incorporated. Chenle looked up at the fence, lips parted in thought. 

“We’ll climb over,” he said curtly, curling his fingers within the gaps between the links. 

“We’ll what?” You gasped, furrowing your brow, “Chenle, are you crazy?”

“Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve been called that,” he smirked, hoisting himself up. You stood there in shock, trying to rationalise his idea. 

“Well? Are we gonna solve this mystery or not?” He looked down to you, an adventurous smirk on his face. A groan fell past your lips, trudging towards the damned fence and clambering up it. Chenle was waiting for you at the top, a toothy grin adorning his lips.

“You’re a slow climber,” he teased. You rolled your eyes.

“I can’t say I’m continuously climbing things,” you scowled, throwing your leg over and descending down the barrier, Chenle following suit. 

Your shoes touched the ground gently, relief rushing through you that you had made it. You looked up to your friend, feeling cocky. “Who’s the slow climber now?” Chenle mocked your words under his breath, attempting to move down. His foot caught on the link he was on, causing his footing to slip and free fall to the ground. He put his hand out to try and stop himself, only scraping them. He wasn’t in pain, but something didn’t feel right. He looked down at his palm, his eyes delivering the simple message of ‘fuck’. The skin on his palm had peeled away, part of his metal endoskeleton and a wire or two now exposed. The metal was shiny, so shiny that he could basically see his own reflection. Scruffy haired, facially well structured and panicked. He looked up to see you moving towards him. He couldn’t let you see, so he pulled at his tie, watching it unravel in his hand and wrapping it around it, pulling it tightly.

“Holy shit, are you okay?” You held out your hand to help him, but he pushed it away coldly. 

“I’m fine,” he brushed off, standing up and looking at his makeshift bandage, and looked back up at the building. He didn’t like how familiar he was with the property, especially in these circumstances. He stalked over to the door, you following him hot on his tracks. You sighed, looking at the small box beside the door. 

“Passcode needed,” you rubbed the back of your neck, mumbling something about how this was always the case with the two of you. Chenle wasted no time punching in the passcode, the screen flashing green and high pitched signal signifying his entry request had been accepted. You gawked at the boy, who did not spare you a glance before yanking the door open and stepping through the threshold. You stood there in disbelief, following him inside.

“I have several questions for you,” you hissed at your friend, your voice echoing throughout the warehouse.

“Keep your voice down, will you? They don’t know we’re here,” Chenle turned on his heel, slapping his unbandaged hand over your mouth, staring daggers into your soul. You squeaked at his sudden move, only nodding.

“That doesn’t change the fact that I have several questions for you,” you hushed your tone, “What the fuck is this place? How did you know the passcode? And what do you mean by ‘they don’t know we’re here’?” Your questions hit him like raining bullets, however the teenager didn’t respond. The warehouse was spacious, or at least the hallway you were in was. Windows perfectly lined the sad grey walls, each one a peek into someone else’s world, one that you did not understand. 

Each room was decorated the same. The same grey colour, a workbench with its surface covered with an assortment of tools, blueprints, mathematical equations and a combination of letters on numbers spelt out on a black plaque with bold white letters. Chenle looked around, understanding a sense of home. He lived here, with his closest friends. He never knew anywhere else than here, but something didn’t feel right.

“Chenle, what is this place?” You questioned, watching him trace the plaque. He let out a nostalgic sigh before turning to you, a guilty sort of glint in his eye.

“My home,” he admitted, looking back to the plaque. ZCL#231101. It was his plaque. 

You scoffed, “Don’t be ridiculous. What are you, the son of the CEO? How could this busted up shed be your home?” You admit, you were being a bit close minded, but you understood virtually none of it, and it pissed Chenle off to no end. He wheeled himself around so quickly, you saw a blurry figure, not your friend.

“It’s not some busted up shed. It’s my home, the only place I’ve ever fucking known. My friends, those who I consider my family, all live here,” he paused to look you up and down, “well, with one exception.” He trekked down the hall, his footsteps bouncing off the stone walls, looking into each identical room before he stopped at one towards the end of the hall. A woman, no older than 25, stood against the wall, her eyes trained to the floor. Her outfit was fashionable, like she had popped out of a teen fashion magazine. Her hair was long, dark and straight, beautifully framing her slim face. She was gorgeous. 

“This is Yerim, or Yeri as we call her,” he introduced, watching her with a soft smile, “Basically my big sister,” his fingers touched the delicate glass, like he was letting his presence known to her. She did not respond. 

“I don’t think she sees you,” you mentioned matter-of-factly. Chenle snickered.

“You’re right, she doesn’t. She’s powered down right now,” he explained, ignoring your flabbergasted look.

“Chenle, you’re not making any sense-” he cut you off, sick of your ignorance.

“For fuck’s sake, how ignorant are you? She’s a robot, Y/N. She’s a fucking robot,” he spat, his tone shifting dramatically. You flinched backwards, wide eyes staring up at him. Upon registering your reaction, Chenle knew he had already said too much, so there was no point hiding it. He turned back to Yerin, sighing, “I’m a robot,” he muttered, tugging at his school tie around his hand. The tie unravelled, falling to the cement floor, revealing his robotic underlay. You swore your eyes bug out of your head, ogling at his newly revealed secret. You couldn’t formulate sentences, only obscure sounds and a brilliant impersonation of a goldfish. 

“But how?” You finally formed a coherent sentence, trying to wrap your head around the concept. Chenle shook his head, “It just is, alright? There isn’t much more I can explain except that we are all used for different reasons,” he sighed, pointing to the glass, “There are four others built for the same purpose as Yeri. They’re a musical group,” he explained, finally stepping away from Yerin’s window, continuing down the hallway. You walked beside him, more questions than answers swimming around your head. 

“What about you then?

“Huh?”

“If you were all built for a purpose, what’s yours?” 

“To be a teenager,” he replied simply.

A warehouse was maybe the wrong word for the building. A labyrinth would better describe it. There were rooms upon rooms, corridors that twisted and turned in odd places. You and Chenle had long left the drab hallway, leaving behind the powered down Yerin. The two of you became subjected to the maze of cold stone walls and echoing corridors. Walking became an almost dizzying task, until the corridor you walked down suddenly ended, and the hallway spat you out in front of a door that looked like it belonged in a bank, a bright yellow sign hanging above it.

Top Secret. Do Not Enter

“Top secret?” Even Chenle was confused, “I’ve never seen this here before,” he tapped his index finger against his chin, fathoming every possibility that could lie beyond that door. You narrowed your vision on the large wheel on the door. 

“Standing here isn’t going to do anything,” you said, pulling all your weight onto the wheel, feeling it move slightly. Chenle watched you with a blank stare, making you look at him, “Help me, would you?” He nodded swiftly, wrapping his fingers around the cold metal. The door groaned, slowly swinging open. The room opened to reveal large cylinders, almost reaching the ceiling of the warehouse, glass wrapped around the front of each cylinder, holding large amounts of liquid, undoubtedly filled with a dangerous amount of chemicals. You glanced around at them, your mouth falling open in horror. Inside the cylinder closest to you, was a person. A person who looked insanely familiar to you. You stumbled back, her name at the tip of your tongue.

“Aera,” You whimpered out, eyes blown as wide as dinner plates. She has tubes and wires attached to her, making her look like some sort of experiment. Her eyes were open, but they were drained of any and all trace of life, like she had fallen victim to a dementor. Her hair seemed slimy, sticking together in disgusting clumps. Your eyes panned to the next cylinder, almost identical to the first, however it contained a different missing person, Angie. You frantically got to your feet, looking at all the cylinders and counting them. Ten cylinders stood high, although only five were filled, each one containing a familiar face. Aera, Brooke, Angie, Tahmina, and Hannah. In a singular room, you had solved the biggest missing persons’ case the quiet town had ever seen, yet it simultaneously opened a new one. Why were they here, of all places? Why were they in tanks? Were they dead?

“I see you found our next project,” a male voice interrupted your thoughts, but it wasn’t Chenle’s. It was too low, too wicked, too old to be Chenle.

 You wheeled around to see a tall middle-aged man. His eyes were hidden behind rectangular glasses, a pristine white button up adorning his top half, paired with black business pants and shoes. Clearly, he had some wealth to him. A businessman you suspected. With you still staring at the appearance of the new arrival in the room, you had failed to notice Chenle’s expression. His systems had grown familiar with the man. He was like a father to him, he was his father in a way. The man flicked his gaze from you to the blond, a disappointed frown arching his lips. “Out of all of my children, you were the last one I would expect to break my rules, Zhong Chenle,” he tutted, shaking his head. Chenle was glued to the spot, jaw clenched and he swore if he had a heart, it would be pounding right now. 

“Who are you?” You bellowed, taking a step forward. You were done with mystery, you were done with unpleasant surprises, and you were done with secrets. The man looked astounded at such a question. 

“Oh, you sweet thing, don’t you recognise me? Surely, you would’ve seen me on TV or something,” there was a mocking lilt to his voice, as if he was belittling you. You wracked your brains hard, flipping through your mental files of all the famous people you had seen on the digital screen. Musical artists, actors, even boring political celebrities, but alas, nothing came up. The man sighed, folding his arms over his chest and mimicking your action by taking a step closer to you. 

“Does the name Lee Sooman ring any bells?” He hinted, watching in amusement as a wave of realisation hit you. 

“As in-”

“LSM Inc. The very building you happen to be inside,” he filled in the rest of your question, dropping his hands to his sides, “Which brings me to my next question; how did you get in here, pet?” He feigned musement, tapping his foot against the concrete floor.

“We came in together,” Chenle interjected, his gaze never leaving the floor. The businessman stood up, eyesight zeroed in on the boy. 

“And why would you do that, son?” He hummed, footsteps echoing throughout the room, resonating off the glass of the tanks. Chenle stayed silent, quickly realising that he did not know himself. Why had he let you in? “Come on, boy. Surely there’s a reason,” Mr Lee leaned in, nose to nose with Chenle as a sickening smirk broke across his face.

“With all due respect, what is this?” The robotic teenager responded, watching his father figure recoil and step away.

“The future, son. This place is the future,” he told triumphantly, spreading his arms widely to the warehouse like it was some pirate’s legendary treasure trove. You could feel your stomach churn, the sickening feeling intensifying with every word he spoke. 

“But why them? Why these innocent people? They have barely lived their lives, and you took that from them,” you choked out albeit barely comprehensible. The old man tutted condescendingly, turning on his heel to face you.

“Well, I can’t have my children running around without any clothes on. They can’t blend in if they stand out, dear child,” he smiled wickedly. You stood there, frozen in shock.

“They’re-”

“Skin suits. A cover up, if you will,” he shrugged, his wrinkled fingers skimming against the edge of the glass, an imperfect smudge being left on it. You stood there in shock, not even realising you were looking at your best friend, who was also looking at himself. You watched as he clenched and unclenched his fist in front of his own eyes. Could it be? Could he have once been a normal human being, who could breathe, and think, and eat, and experience emotion? What about the friends he had made within his own ‘home’? Were they skin suits too? These thoughts alone would be enough to send him into overdrive. Mr Lee turned around, quirking an eyebrow at his creation’s strange behaviour. The businessman stalked towards the young boy, tilting his head. “Yes, my boy. You have one too. Your very own skin,” He smiled warmly, as if Chenle should be proud of his father’s sick actions. 

“No it’s not,” Chenle snapped, his teeth gritting together, “This is a skin you stole from someone else. Was his name even Chenle? How could you do something like this?” He never meant to let slip these thoughts, but seeing how Mr Lee’s face fell into a disapproving scowl, he knew he hadn’t taken it well. 

“You ungrateful child. Just remind yourself who you’re talking to, remember who gave you life,” he spat back, towering over the teenager as you watched on in horror. Your friend remained stone cold serious, proving that he was not backing down to his creator. Mr Lee tutted, shaking his head, “And here I thought you were one of the well behaved ones,” he shook his head solemnly before looking past the robot’s shoulder, to his staff. With a brief nod, they stalked towards Chenle, restraining an arm each. The boy tried to struggle away, jolting his body like a fish out of water, but both of the men were a lot stronger than him, making it obvious who had one in this battle.

“I didn’t think I would have to do this to you, boy,” Mr Lee grumbled, keeping the subject of his threat vague. To anyone on the outside listening, namely you, would have no idea what he had meant. To Chenle, however, his intentions were made as clear as day. He shook his head in protest, struggling harder against the two men.

“No. You can’t!” He shrieked, his brows knitting together in mimicked frustration and fear. The businessman could only snicker, like Chenle had just told the most sarcastic joke ever. 

“I think you forget who runs this company, son. It’s about time you are reminded.”

Chenle stared aggressive daggers into his creator before his eyes shifted to you. Amongst this whole fiasco, you had been forgotten to the pair of them. He immediately registered your emotions as scared, terrified even. His mouth started to form words, words you could only just make out. Go. Run. 

You nodded just as Mr Lee turned around, frowning at your presence. With one final glance to Chenle, you booked it out of the room, unintelligible ordering shouts echoing behind you. A second pair of footsteps joined yours, trying to match, possibly beat, the tempo you were running at. You didn’t dare look behind you, knowing it could potentially cost you your life. You outrun them throughout the maze of hallways, bursting through the door you had entered through and used your last burst of energy to sprint to the fence and clamber over it, escaping by the skin of your teeth. Your feet hit the soil, but it wasn’t enough to slow you down. You kept running until you reached the footpath you and Chenle had walked down hours before. Chenle, you remembered the last words he had told you. To run, to leave and never turn back. You peered over your left shoulder, slowly spinning yourself around. You had expected to have had the blond following along behind you, but instead you were met with the pretty scenery that contrasted the ugly feeling that sprouted in the pit of your stomach. The warehouse was a blurred spot of grey metal with a unique pattern surrounding it, but there was not a soul to be seen. Chenle hadn’t escaped. He did not follow you. You were alone, and very very worried.

Chenle grunted and continuously tried to pry his wrists from the two men clenching them in a death grip. They followed behind Lee Sooman, who led them with a slow walk with his hands  clasped behind his back. He whistled a soft tune, like the situation was a simple morning stroll for him. Chenle had lost the ability to walk, his feet dragging along the concrete behind him as they entered another room, a room that the boy had heard countless stories about from his friends. The room was mainly empty, aside from a few large bins overflowing with discarded parts, denied blueprints and faulty rejects. In the middle stood a cousin to the powering stations that Chenle had become so familiar with, the only differences being the cables connected to several desktops neatly sat upon pristine mahogany desks and the large chair that sat in the middle of it. It looked more like an execution chamber that he had seen from a few crime movies that he and his best friend, Jisung, had snuck behind the company’s back.

“You know what to do,” Mr Lee spoke, not even bothering to look back at his staff. The two grunted in understanding, dragging the protesting boy to the chair, tying his hands to the arms of it.

“You can’t do this! This isn’t right!” Chenle protested as one of the staff pushed the back half of Chenle’s hair up to reveal a small charging port, located at the back of his neck. He shoved a cable into it, a satisfying hum of the pad powering up ringing throughout the room. 

“But this is my company, boy, and you’re my creation so hence, I can do whatever I want,” he chuckled madly, sitting on the corner of the nearest desk.

“You’re sick,” Chenle huffed, his words backed with venom, “You’re nothing but a cruel old man.” This only seemed to amuse the businessman more. 

“Call me sick and cruel all you want. In a few seconds, you won’t even remember this conversation,” Mr Lee taunted, rounding the desk and placing his hands on the back of the chair, the other staff member tapping away at the keyboard.

“Systems are online, sir,” the man chimed, looking up at his employer.

“Good,” a twisted smile crept its way across Mr Lee’s face, one that could strike panic into any human being, or robot in this case. 

“You can’t! You can’t!” Chenle screamed, trying to break the knots around his wrists. 

“Maybe this will teach you not to trust stupid teenagers you met in class,” Mr Lee warned. Chenle casted his gaze downwards, surveying his situation. Lee Sooman had done it. He had cornered him. He had no means of escape, and even if he did, he had no idea where you were. 

“Start the sequence,” Mr Lee commanded, stepping away as another staff member burst through the threshold, visibly tired from the sweating and the panting. 

“Did you catch the other, Karina?” Mr Lee bellowed, turning his head ever so slightly to look behind him. The young woman straightened up, shaking her head. 

“I’m sorry, sir. The kid escaped. I couldn’t catch them,” Karina panted in an attempt to regulate her breathing. Mr Lee spun around quickly, his face like thunder.

“You useless girl! How could you let the weasel escape? If this cost us the company because that little mutt has told the public what we’re doing, I will hold you personally responsible!” He roared, watching the young woman flinch back in fear. He turned back to Chenle, angrily looking the boy up and down. “Ten?”

The black haired man, who was sat at the main desktop,  shivered at the sound of his name, “Yes, sir?”

“Light him up,” he ordered, no lilt of remorse in his tone.

“Are you sure, sir?” Ten questioned, which only seemed to make him more furious.

“Of course I’m sure, you incompentent fool!” He shouted. Ten only sighed before tapping a few keys and began the process.

“Initiating memory wipe,” he confirmed. The humming of the pad underneath Chenle grew louder, and Chenle gripped the arms of his chair. He couldn’t lose his memory. It was all he had left. He had no trusted family, no friends, and most of all, no you. 

“Memory wipe in ten seconds,” Ten announced to the other four people in the room.

“Any last words, boy?” Mr Lee yelled over the top of the humming.

“I hope your reputation goes up in flames,” he yelled back. The humming grew in intensity, and there was nothing Chenle could do to stop it. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” were the last words that left Chenle’s lips before a huge spark of electricity surged through his body, pain tingling his faux senses. Slowly, memories he had accumulated over the last few weeks were slipping away. He cried out, begging Ten to turn the machine off, that he would do anything to keep his memories until he went quiet. Ten’s screen flashed green.

Memory wipe complete.

You hadn’t seen Chenle at school for what felt like months. The seat in both robotics class and the library study hour remain cold and empty, a reservation preserved in false hope.  You had gone to the police station the moment you hit the footpath. You tried to keep your sequence of events straight, but the further you got in your recount, the more you broke down into tears, reducing you to nothing more than a babbling sobbing mess on the floor. In the officer’s defense, the story sounded foolish, and they dismissed your case without a second glance. Classes began to blur together, the colours of the world seemed to dull, not to mention you had stopped contributing to class discussion. You never raised your hand to ask for clarification, or to answer Mr Moon’s questions, a newly found habit that he had picked up on. He talked to you after class one day, and although you reassured him time and time again that you were feeling ‘okay’, he still persisted.

“Is it that Chenle boy? I haven’t seen him in my class for a while. Is he your boyfriend?” You almost scoffed at his outlandish assumption, but you kept up your responsible student act for a little bit longer.

“No, Mr Moon. He is not my boyfriend. I don’t know where he has got to, and quite frankly, I don’t care,” you lied. You knew you were lying. You did care, of course you cared. You had seen him being restrained by both arms and in the hands of a very dangerous and powerful man. Who knew what he was capable of?

“If you insist. I won’t keep you any longer, but if you need anything, you know I’m always here for you, kiddo,” Mr Moon offered a friendly smile, but you turned away stalking out of the classroom. 

You felt a hole in your being, one big enough for only one specific boy that only if he walked into it, would fit snugly inside. You missed him. You couldn’t bear the worry of not knowing where he was. So you could imagine your delight when you walked through the school gates one fine Monday morning and saw a familiar blond haircut walking a few paces ahead of you. A huge beam spread across your face like a rainbow across the sky, and you ran towards him to catch up with him.

“Chenle! Where have you been? I’ve been worried sick about you. What did they do to you? Are you alright?” You blabbered, a warm foreign feeling filling your senses. The boy gripped one strap of his backpack, looking you up and down, his brows furrowing. The warm feeling was quickly replaced with a cold, distant one, and you swear you heard your heart break at his words.

“I’m sorry, but do I know you?” 

#kpopscape #nct-writers #neoturtles #neoswitch #ficscafe #ankathia #kpop #fanfiction #kpop fanfiction #kpop fluff #nct fanfiction #nct fluff #nct angst #kpop angst #nct dream #nct chenle #nct dream fanfiction #nct dream fluff #nct dream angst #zhong chenle fanfiction #zhong chenle

[mrkcore]

𝐄𝐏 𝟏: 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊 𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐒𝐏𝐎𝐓 - 𝐥.𝐡𝐜

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: lee donghyuck x fem!reader

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬: college!au (cs - computer science major haechan, psychology major y/n)

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fluff, slight angst

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠(𝐬): suggestive innuendo(s), infidelity, drinking

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2.2k

𝐚/𝐧: the first chapter of the and they were roommates! series :D send in an ask or comment here to be added to the taglist! (sorry for the delay, i have been really unproductive so uh, yeah)

𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 | 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭

you’ve been stuck with haechan for about a month. you’ve successfully avoided him for the majority of the time, he’s still a bit flirty, but he’s been pretty quiet too.

except for when he streams. did he mention that he was a streamer? unfortunately no, you had to find out the hard way.

“haechan, can you fucking tone it down?” you storm into his room after enduring half an hour of his screaming on a thursday night. “i have an essay due tomorrow and it’s 30 percent of my mar-”

you see a professional looking mic, webcam, and another monitor with what seems like comments flowing in constantly on the screen.

“oh…” you trail off taking in all the equipment in front of you as haechan looks up at you.

“oh hey, sorry about that, jeno and renjun were being noobs and i needed to teach them a lesson, chat knows. i’ll keep it down, sorry.” he turns back to his game in front of him, completely unbothered.

“yeah.. uh sorry for barging in, thanks.” you say quickly and dash out his room, hearing the other voices from his headset laugh.

your face is hot, and you feel so embarrassed. 

anyways, lesson learned.

a few days later, you were complaining to your friend about haechan on a zoom call–as usual.

this time, however, she needed to spill the tea about her thoughts.

“ma’am, what is this tension,” she jokes. “i can feel it from miles away.”

“hey!” you snap back. “need i remind you that i have a boyfriend? and haechan? ew no, he gets on my nerves too much for that.”

“oh right, your boyfriend.” she rolls her eyes.  “i think you need to visit him, you’re so uptight all the time, i’m gonna get wrinkles if you keep complaining to me about shit.”

“oh right, restrictions have been slightly lifted, i can probably go visit him.” you remember reading about it in the news.

“yep, go.” your friend sips on her iced coffee and you laugh.

the next day, you go through with your plan to go visit your boyfriend.

all prepped and ready and you were going to walk out the door before you hear haechan coming out his room.

“oh, good morning, i’ll be out for a bit, maybe the whole day.” you say to him.

“good morning.” he yawns. “look at you all dolled up and pretty, where you going?” he smirks as you roll your eyes.

“visiting my boyfriend,” you scowl out. “now if you’ll excuse me, i better get going.”

“oh great, hope you enjoy your time with him.” he smiles and you think he’s going to be nice for once. “don’t forget protection.”

you groan. of course he had to ruin it.

“thanks haechan.” you yell behind you as you walk out the door.

it takes around 1 hour to drive to your boyfriend’s university, and an additional 10 minutes to his apartment, and you’re giddy the whole time. 

you’ve missed human interaction. 

and no, lee haechan does not count. 

you’ve missed the warmth and fuzzy feeling of an embrace, of having someone’s arms around you, protecting you from the outside world. 

you couldn’t wait to get cuddles.

hopefully your boyfriend likes this surprise.

gleefully walking into the building, pressing in the password to his apartment complex. completely missing the creaking coming from his room, but as you entered, you hear the voice of another person, who was definitely not your boyfriend.

you stomp right up to the door, and push it open.

there’s two people in the bed, and your eyes glower at your boyfriend.

“what?” the girl screams, scrambling to cover herself.

“babe?” your boyfriend is frozen on the spot as the girl looks at him as if he just said the most bizarre thing ever.

“babe?” she seems angry now. “you said you were single? what the fuck?”

“yeah, i think he lied to you.” you say coldly. “do you have anything to confess, ‘babe’?”

“you’re a douche, what the fuck.” she gets up and gets dressed. “i’m so sorry, he told me he was available, i would literally never agree to sleep with anyone who’s taken.”

“yeah, it’s okay.” you say, kind of relieved, and the two stare are you like you’re an alien. “at least now i know what type of person i was dating.”

and you turn to walk out.

“wait, babe please.” your ex tries to run after you. “y/n, let me explain.”

“no need to, we’re over.” you turn to say. “you need a ride?” you ask the girl.

“yeah sure.” she says. “don’t call me.”  

“babe please, can we talk this out?”

you couldn’t believe it. you drove 1 hour to see him and he has the audacity to pull this shit and expect you to just easily forgive? nope, lesson learned.

pfft, and he said long distance would work. 

“no we can’t, now if you’ll excuse us, we have somewhere else to be.” you grab the girls arm and walk out the door, slamming it in front of your ex’s face before he can catch up.

“do you have any plans for the rest of today?” you ask the girl after entering your car. she shakes her head while you smile. “great, any bar or night club recommendations you have?”

“uhh, bar then nightclub?” she suggests. 

“i like the way you think.” you giggle. “i’m y/n btw.”

“yina.” she smiles back at you as you pull out of the parking lot. 

a few hours later, and way too many drinks in, you’re at a table with yina, spilling your deepest secrets about your relationship with your ex.

“can you believe he made me wash his socks?” you take a sip before continuing. “and with my hands too!”

“what? that’s disgusting!” she listens to you rant in disbelief.

“yeah, he said that his socks were precious and the washing machine was too harsh on the cotton or some crap.” you snicker as you recall the other stupid stuff he told you. “ah the shit i did for love.”

“men are trash,” yina says. “cheers to that.” and you both down the rest of what’s left of your drink.

fast forward another 2 hours, you’re wasted. absolutely wasted. 

yina held you back a little bit, but its no use. you needed this.

“y/n, it’s like 11 pm, you’re drunk, i’m barely sober, i think we should call someone to come and get us.” yina tries to reason with you while you shake your head.

finally after 10 minutes of bickering, you finally agree.

“here’s my phone, you can call anyone.” you rest your head on your folded hands after handing her your unlocked phone. “anyone but haechan.” you start to doze off. “anyone but haechan…”

“hbbhng” you jolt up, feeling the warmth of your own bed. 

how did you get back home?

groaning, you feel your headache. you feel the vomit coming up your throat as you gag.

you almost fall trying to get out of your covers.

“woah there, be careful.” haechan is suddenly barging into your room, holding onto you so you don’t fall on your face, guiding you to your bathroom.

you’re too nauseous to wonder why he’s even helping you or even bother screaming at him like usual.

he pats your back soothingly as you vomit into the toilet.

“there you go, that’s it. i’ve got you.” he reassures you.

“what are you even doing helping me?” you’ve washed up and downed some water, you’re 100% sober now.

“wow,” haechan chuckles, rolling his eyes. “after saving your ass last night, this is the thank you i get?”

“what do you mean you saved me?” you’re genuinely confused by what he means.

“this yina girl called me from your phone, telling me that you’re blacked out drunk in a nightclub at 11:32 PM, on a saturday. asking me to come and get you.” he says, matter-of-factly. “i call a cab, get to the nightclub, haul your ass out the club, drive yina back home, and then us. where during our commute back, you wake up, start crying, and when we get home, you’re bawling about how your boyfriend cheated and you were a dumbass for thinking he would change. remember now?”

you’re in shock.

yina called haechan? you remember clearly that you told her not to, this is so embarrassing. you even cried about your ex to him? oh dear lord you wanted to crawl back into your room into a deep pit and never come out. 

haechan must’ve noticed your distressed expression because his face turns softer.

“hey hey hey, sorry, that was a bit mean. you just got out of a relationship, that was really inappropriate of me and i do not blame you for wanting to relax a bit.” he tries to comfort you once again. you’re in even more shock by his words. “honestly, me driving you back home, and taking care of you was the least i could do. it would have been so mean if i just left you guys there.”

you wanted to burst out into tears. 

this is the nicest thing you’ve heard in about 6 months.

unfortunately, haechan doesn’t know that.

“oh gosh, jheez, i’m not helping aren’t i.” he’s panicked by your emotional state. “uhm, to make it up to you, i’ll watch one of those scary movies with you?”

your tears instantly are sucked back into your eyes in excitement.

“really?” you ask, just making sure.

“yep, ahaha.” he laughs nervously, but happy to see your mood lighten up.

“you free tonight?” bouncing up and down practically.

“yeah…” haechan is a bit scared. “aren’t you going a bit too fast though, princess? you jut got out of a relationship.”

you gasp and slap him in the arm.

“okay okay! that was a joke. yeah i’m free, i have an essay due, but i’ll be done by 6.” haechan says.

“sounds good!” you b-line for the kitchen, your stomach is completely empty. “see you then haechan!”

oh how haechan regrets his offer.

6 o’clock rolls by, and you choose “the shining” to watch with haechan. anticipating the terror it would bring him. 

and you were right.

every jumpscare, even the smallest sounds, haechan would screech in fright. the last straw for him was the knock on your door.

“AHHHH!” he screams, almost knocking the popcorn out of your hands.

“calm down, dude.” you say, standing up to open the door.

to the unfortunate sight of your ex.

“y/n?” he says, softly.

“what are you doing here? how did you find out where i lived?” you were very sure you never gave him your dorm address.

“your friend gave it to me,” the eye bags he has are very evident. “listen, can we talk?”

“no?” haechan suddenly butts into the conversation. “you literally cheated on her, she doesn’t owe you anything.”

“who are you? her rebound?” your ex frowns. 

“her roommate, and if you even bothered to keep up with y/n, you’d know.” haechan returns the frown.

“it’s between me and y/n, you have no business telling us what to do.” your ex is getting more aggressive now.

“that’s funny, i was the one who was called to drive her home while she was out drunk, i was the one who listened to her talk about how she regretted believing you again, i was the one who held her hair back when she was vomiting this morning from her hangover.” haechan again returns the energy. “you tried to contact her, but she blocked your number and you had to get her address from her friend. you never even cared to ask her beforehand, and now you wanna try and show up to seem like you care? bullshit. now if you’ll excuse us now, we have a movie to finish.” he slams the door in his face and haechan surprises you for the millionth time today.

your ex bangs on the door for about 3 minutes before giving up, and you guys sit in silence as the movie still plays.

“hey haechan.” you try and start.

“AHHH!” he screams again, scaring you this time.

“JHEEZ BRO I WAS TRYING TO START A CONVO, CHILL OUT.” you scream back.

“okay, i’m fine, yeah sorry, continue.” haechan pants out.

“thanks for that.” you say, genuinely. “not even joking, you didn’t have to do that.”

“well i did, because that dude was a douche. literally having the guts to come over here and try and ask for forgiveness after he cheats. unbelievable.”

“yeah.” you fiddle with your fingers anxiously.

“i like this side of you,” haechan breaks the awkwardness. “you’re usually uptight, little-miss-perfect, and cranky, so i like this raw side of you.”

“mhm, i realized that now. sorry for being such a bitch.” you admit.

“no, i honestly deserve it. but i hope we can be friends now, it would be great to have real conversations with someone, you know?” he says.

“seriously?” you hit him in the chest as he chuckles.

“i’m joking! i swear. but seriously, friends?” he asks.

“yeah, friends.” 

and that’s where it started.

© mrkcore. 2021.

#dreamwritersnet #cznnet #nct-writers #nctcreations #neoswitch #nct dream #nct #nct 127 #nct writing #nct dream writing #nct 127 writing #nct haechan #nct dream haechan #nct 127 haechan #nct scenarios #nct dream scenarios #nct smut #nct dream smut #nct 127 scenarios #nct series #nct dream series #nct 127 series #nct haechan imagines #nct haechan scenarios #nct imagines #nct dream imagines #nct 127 imagines #lee donghyuck #lee haechan #lee haechan x reader

[jaeminzie]

what do you desire? | n.jm

↳ na jaemin x gender neutral!reader

synopsis: a single tutoring session to help a failing na jaemin earned you a ticket to receive whatever you want. so what will it be?

genre: fluff

word count: 2,082

part of ‘the dreamies in hogwarts’ series

“don’t you feel any sympathy for me?!” jaemin’s voice bounced on the walls, making your ears rings for the nth time for the past ten minutes of him following you around campus. “professor vector will kill me if i fail another arithmancy exam!” his voice seems louder than before indicating that he got closer to your moving body.

you groaned as your legs began to feel like jelly after brisk walking the entire school. halting your steps and turning your body sharply to face the distressed boy, making the ends of your blue hinted robe swing into the air. “well, if only you studied-“

“-and that’s exactly why i need you to help me.” the boy dressed in green took a few steps to get closer to you and reached for your hands (which you gladly pulled away from him) with pleading eyes. “i promise i won’t waste your time, i’ll for sure get a good grade if you help me.” that stupid, beautiful smile of his made a small appearance, making you roll your eyes at his act of flattery.

“and what do i get from it?” you crossed your arms and glared him down which made the boy frown. “as a tutor, i need some form of payment.”

jaemin’s head fell back as he let out a laugh, giving you a perfect view of his exposed neck accessorized with a dainty gold necklace that complimented his beauty so well. “isn’t it obvious?” he looked at you with a raised eyebrow, expecting you to know what the hell he was talking about. he continued to look at you until the silence became unbearably long, he scoffed, “you get to spend time with me, of course!”

your mouth gaped open at his words and the seriousness of his face, “goodbye, jaemin.” dropping your arms to your side, you turned away from his body and began walking at your previous speed only to be pulled back when jaemin grabbed your hand and turned you around by your waist.

he immediately removed his hands off of you when he noticed the flare in your eyes. “okay okay, i was kidding.” scratching his neck, jaemin was thankful it was nighttime since you weren’t able to see his crimson red cheeks nor see the way his eyes glistened as he admired your features underneath the moonlight. “i’ll do whatever you want, i don’t care what it is — literally anything your heart desires. promise.” he lifted his pinky finger up and looked at you seriously.

you pondered at his offer and smirked once you realized that jaemin has a meaty wallet while you had a long shopping list of supplies to check off at dervish and banges. “fine.” jaemin’s smile couldnt be contained at your word, you held up a finger to shush his incoherent noises of excitement. “i cannot be seen with you.”

his smile dropped and placed his hands on his waist, “well, that’s insulting.”

“you expect me to be with you in broad daylight when you have an entire cult of students who would kill one another to receive a one-second glance from you?” you roll your eyes when jaemin begins to smirk, feeling his ego inflating. “we meet after hours at the astronomy tower tomorrow night.”

“y/n, if you want to get with me, just tell me — you don’t need to use our tutor sesh as an exc-“

you scoffed and turned around to walk toward the ravenclaw common room, leaving the boy to talk to himself in the empty corridor.

you shake your head to yourself. why, just why are you doing this.

—

two days later, you sat in study hall fighting your heavy eyelids and limp neck. the first tutor session with jaemin consisted of one sided conversations and flirting since the boy cannot get a hint. though, there were times where he’d impress you with his ability to learn things quickly.

your friend nudged your shoulder and ‘pst’-ed at you. “did you hear about last night?” she spoke quietly, making sure not to disturb the people around you.

you looked at her briefly before closing your eyes to gain some sort of relief from your exhaustion. “don't know, and frankly, i don’t care.”

“well, na jaemin from slytherin house has a significant other.”

you giggled to yourself because there’s no way a boy with such a bad game could score a date when you weren’t even willing to have tutoring with him. “yeah yeah.”

your friend whisper-yelled, “and they’re from our house!” your eyes immediately widened. “right! they were seen walking around past bedtime by gryffindor’s head boy, mark lee, when he was told to make sure there were no students awake.”

you sat up straight, fully awake, shaking your head. “you think anyone is stupid enough to walk around hogwarts at night?”

“a ravenclaw at that.” your friend shrugged. “mark only saw jaemin’s face and the blue details of the other’s robe, he sucks at lying so.”

“bogus.” you huffed.

“what?” she gave you a teasing smile. “jealous? you like him or something?”

you fake laughed at your friend and discreetly began writing a note before gathering your supplies and dismissing yourself. you scanned the room, walking your way to the man of the hour and slipped the note on the table he sat alone at. you wasted no time dashing out the hall, making sure you didn’t look suspicious since jaemin had eyes on him every second and you seriously did not feel like being mauled right now.

jaemin watched your body disappear through the doors and frowned at how you didn’t bother to speak a single word to him before leaving. he fiddled with the small piece of paper before opening it up, smiling as he read the words.

astronomy tower, same time. don’t be late.

—

jaemin’s body turned around in an instant when he heard the wooden floor of the tower creaking, already showcasing his smirk. “what do we have here?” he questioned your late arrival when you were so persistent on being on time yourself.

you couldn’t respond as you were trying to catch your breath after enduring the dreadful flight of stairs.

jaemin smiled endearingly at your state, walking up to you slowly, “i’ll let it slide because you’re too cute.” he ended his sentence with a small boop on your nose, still keeping his smile on his face. “what's the occasion, we didn’t plan to study? you couldn’t get enough of me, huh.”

finally maintaining a stable breathing pattern, “you wish.”

jaemin chuckled and wiped his nose with his thumb, “you’re right, i do wish that.” the octave of his voice dropped even lower, making your knees weak and your act harder to play. “i’m guessing you heard the rumors.”

you snapped your head up to look at him. “you knew?” he responded silently with a nod. “aren't you friends with that mark guy?” another nod. “if people find out it’s me, i’ll be dead.”

“when people find out it’s you.” he corrected you.

you let out a breathy laugh and he stood so closely to you that the air hit his face, making the front strands of his hair swing back. “you’re funny.”

his smirk dropped and was replaced with a small smile. “i got an ‘a’ on my exam, by the way.”

your mood shifted at his words, the smile on your face was so bright that jaemin believed the moonlight couldn’t even compete against you. when you realize you’ve been smiling for an abnormal amount of time, you cleared your throat and brushed his shoulder with yours as you walked past him toward the metal railings. “good job.” you rested your elbows on the metal and took in the fresh air and the beautiful view from the tower.

jaemin’s footsteps were slow as he made his way behind you, he stood directly behind you with his hands in his pockets. “thanks to you.” he breathed against your hair, making your heart race. “so, what does your heart desire, y/n?”

you. you thought to yourself.

his hands reached over to lean them against the railing, making his chest press against your back. “i can turn down the rumors if that’s what you really want.”

you tried to stabilize your breathing, you wanted nothing more than to crumble into the floor as you felt your face and neck become warmer. “no.” you spat out, wincing silently at yourself for the impulsive decision. clearing your throat, “it’s fine.”

you couldn’t see but jaemin was smiling as he felt your ragged breathing against his chest, and saw how your fingers nervously fiddled with the railing in front of your bodies. wanting to have more fun and test your buttons, he questioned, “why is that?” he lowered his head so his chin was resting on your shoulder, he could feel the heat of your cheeks radiate and you felt the heat from the tip of his ears touch your bare neck.

“just cause. to save you from trouble.” you mumbled.

“and what about my cult?”

“i don’t care anymore.”

“so you don’t care if i-“ he placed a delicate kiss on the side of your neck. “-in front of them?”

your breath audibly hitched at his actions, and you swore he could feel your heart pounding through your back. you could only hummed at him.

he removed his hands off of the railing and wrapped his arms around your waist, securing his hold on you. “i knew it.” he spoke softly right into your ear.

caressing your body, he moved his hands on your sides and maneuvered your body to face him and placed your back against the rusty metal. “i like you too.”

you laughed at the dreamy eyes he’s giving you and the overflowing confidence in his tone of voice. “you sound so sure of yourself.”

he quirked an eyebrow. “are you saying that i’m wrong?”

you purse your lips at him and chose not to answer his question to tease him.

jaemin’s face moved closer to yours, nose brushing against each other and lips gazing one another. “that’s what i thought.” his lips brushed yours as he spoke, and you could feel the butterflies unleash out of their cocoons and soar through your entire body.

you were prepared to let out a snarky remark but you lost your train of thought once you felt his plump lips engulf your soft ones. jaemin’s grip on your hips tightened as he pulled you closer to him while your hands moved up his torso, chest, and landed underneath his jaw. the movements of your lips never ceased as both of you finally grew tired of hiding your feelings toward each other — well mainly your feelings, jaemin wasn’t the most discreet with his.

the sounds of your lips and heavy breathing filled the tower. jaemin pulled away just to kiss the skin around your lips and down your neck, his hands slithered around and found a place on your lower back. you sighed contently at the sensation of his wet lips against the cold skin of your neck.

his kissing gradually came to a stop, he looked up at you with a tired smile and shining eyes. you both admired the view in front of each other before the tinted red boy pulled you into a hug, hand in your hair while yours caressed his broad back.

“i thought of my wish.” you pulled back from the hug to look him in the eye but kept your arms secure around his waist, jaemin copied your moves.

jaemin looked around, pretending to think. “hmm, what could it be?”

you pinched his side slightly, making his addictive giggle erupt out of him. “my heart desires a date.”

jaemin’s smile grew. “no way, me too. how convenient is that!”

you rolled your eyes at his antics, biting a smile.

“and also for you to protect me from your little cult.” jaemin laughed at your words but both of you knew you were being serious.

he nodded and hummed. “whatever your heart desires, i shall grant it.”

you cringed at his language. “gross, don’t do that.” slapping a hand against his chest while laughing. jaemin brought up his left hand to hold yours placed on his chest, grabbing it, caressing it with his thumb, and bringing it up to his lips to gently place a lingering kiss right on the back of your hand.

“whatever your heart desires.”

#neoswitch #neothestars #kpopscape #dreamwritersnet #nct dream #nct dream fanfic #nct #nct dream drabbles #nct dream imagine #nct dream scenario #nct dream fluff #jaemin #na jaemin #na jaemin fluff #jaemin blurb #jaemin imagine #jaemin fluff #jaemin hogwarts #nct hogwarts #nct hogwarts au #nct dream hogwarts au #nct dream hogwarts #slytherin jaemin #jaemin angst #jaemin scenario #jaemin drabble #jaemin fanfic #jaemin timestamps #jaemin au

[soliverse]

don’t call me - k.dy

(sequel to call me a fool. you can read this by itself, but some references would make more sense if you read the first part.)

reader x bestfriend!doyoung

genre: so much angst, slight fluff

warnings: none

word count: 3.85k

synopsis: Doyoung missed an important milestone in your life. Now, it’s your turn to miss his calls.

prompt:

Ghost Of You by 5 Seconds of Summer, part of the Heartbreak Hotel collab by @nct-writers

dedication to:

@hunjins for leaving witty comments during beta reading

@johnyusangel for being my guardian angel during beta and when I was dying over a migraine + Qian Kun

@hxneyy-latte for nursing me back to health lol

taglist: @kunrengui (sorry this took a while 😔), @leolo404 @byeolhyesisi @thesongofdragons

networks: @nctcreations @kdiarynet @kpopscape @kwritersworld @culture-cafe @neowritingsnet @neoswitchnet @czennienet @nct-writers

Every day, your routine starts with staring at your phone for a few hours before getting out of bed. You'd check in all of your messaging apps to see if any of them came from Doyoung. Sadly, there's none of it this morning.

You would drag your mopey ass out of bed and start the day with dread, questioning why he hasn’t replied to your last text. Then, as you brush your teeth, you would check once again to see if you missed anything while you are preoccupied with oral hygiene.

The inbox notifications would still say zero. And then you'd wait… and wait… and wait some more hours, even days before he replies back.

Every time Doyoung refuses to reply to your messages soon, you get this sudden urge to bang your head into a wall, cursing yourself for texting him in the first place. You will then start to question your life choices, why you even texted him in the first place when you knew this is bound to happen. And that you probably sounded too clingy, too cheesy for his liking. Your thoughts filled as to why he refused to reply as soon as he could.

You sighed and placed your phone back into your pocket and proceeded to go on with your day. The academy is about to open and you have practice for your upcoming recital the following day.

You kept your phone around your vicinity even as you practiced. It's a good thing that your vocal mentor isn't here to point out your mistakes, but you're trying to hit every note as clean as you can. A feat that is impossible to do when you're completely distracted by something.

Doyoung: Hey.

That one word is enough to wash all of the worries that you had earlier. You once again attempted to bang your head into the wall, now cursing yourself for changing your emotions so quickly.

You kept your phone back at your table, practicing for a few more minutes before answering the text. This time, you sang with a smile on your lips, the burden of your worries suddenly lifted with a single word.

But that's just how it always is with you and your best friend.

Now, if you can only tell him how you feel.

///

You bowed at everyone for doing a great job at practice. You happily fished out your phone from your pocket to reply to Doyoung's earlier text.

You: Are you free this Saturday?

You placed your phone down for a moment to fix your stuff, but a ding! interrupted you midway and you just couldn’t help but look at his reply.

Doyoung: Not at all. Need help with something?

Your smile grew wider and you texted the details of your recital for Saturday. You've worked on the piece so hard that you wanted to share your success with him, just like he would share his with you.

The rest of the day went smoothly. It was full of wishful thinking and daydreams. And if it goes well, it might be the day that you tell him about how you really feel about him.

///

It was the day of the recital and your hands were shaking out of nervousness. Your grip on the mic was getting tighter, if not sweatier, as you heard the crowds forming outside to see you and your classmates perform.

The soundcheck commenced and they started calling all the participants by their name as they came on stage. You heard nothing besides your own heartbeat and your loud thoughts whenever you overthink. But you reassured yourself that you will do a good job.

You had to. Someone was watching and you wanted to make him proud.

Fiddling on your seat, you waited for a few numbers before it was your turn. You nervously walked out the stage, and you were blinded by the lights coming from the back of the theater. It was probably for the good. 

You couldn’t see anyone’s faces.

You couldn’t see his face. 

Because if you could, you would’ve choked on your words and hit the notes wrong once again. Thankfully, the performance went better than you expected. 

As soon as everyone came together for the curtain call, your eyes wandered to see Doyoung among the crowds. You scanned left and right, but there were no signs of him everywhere in the theater.

You consoled yourself with the fact that he probably went to the bathroom, or he was already backstage waiting for you. He couldn’t possibly miss this day, right?

The first thing that you did after coming down the stage was to have a closer look at the seats, just to make sure that he really was there in the crowd. Everyone else had their families with them, their friends, their lovers. 

But there were no signs of Doyoung in the crowd.

You tried hard to smile as everyone who passed by you congratulated you for doing a great job. But once again, you were distracted. Your mind was occupied with thoughts that you never expected to have that day.

Did he really forget about you?

Giving up completely, you made your way back backstage and hid your impending tears to everyone. On your way, you saw Johnny, waving a small bouquet of flowers to get your attention. This sparked a tiny bit of hope in you. If Johnny was around, then Doyoung must have been here somewhere, too.

You ran towards Johnny and gave him the tightest bear hug. You were worried that no one really watched you perform today. Your family lives abroad and they couldn’t make it to watch you, but you promised them that you will send them a video of you singing. You were really counting on Doyoung not only to watch you perform, but to film your performance as well. 

He must have been here somewhere.

“Thank God you came. I thought nobody saw me perform earlier,” you were once again on the verge of crying, but you didn’t have the heart to ask Johnny if Doyoung was indeed with him.

“Doyoung couldn’t make it today. He had to go out with the whole crew of his drama to celebrate their last day together. I came as soon as I heard about your performance.”

You fell quiet, breathing deep to hide your tears and your disappointment. But Johnny knew how you felt, so he pulled you tighter against him, completely encasing you completely on his embrace. “Don’t feel sad. You did so well today.”

///

Ever since then, you stopped taking calls from Doyoung. He would persistently call and text you every night to say sorry. Any other day, you would’ve been glad to see that finally, he’s the one that’s trying so hard to reach you. Sadly, you’re in no mood to talk to him. 

You thought it would’ve been cruel if you blocked his number from your phone, so you instead tried to text him excuses why you couldn’t talk.

You were tired. You went out with a friend. You just wanted to take some rest.

After hitting send, you tossed your phone in your bed, still feeling upset about him missing such an important day to you. You felt set aside like you’re the last person on his priority list.

That day made you realize that you’re spending way too much energy on someone that doesn’t return the favor. It was an unhealthy behavior that you need to get out of your system as soon as possible, even if that means cutting Doyoung from your life temporarily.

///

Doyoung was surprised to see you at the front door of the 127 dorm one day. You tried smiling at him as he opened the door to let you in, pretending that you were not upset with him in the previous days.

“Surprised you’re not busy today,” you remarked as you sat down, clearly aiming at Doyoung who was now feeling lost at your coldness towards him.

“You’re not mad at me, are you?”

“Not at all,” you tried your best to avoid his gaze because one look at your face would definitely give everything away. You didn’t want to lie to him, but it was better than saying that you were mad because you had feelings for him.

“Anyways, where’s Johnny? He invited me to watch a movie this afternoon.”

“Didn’t you tell me that you had practice today? That’s why you couldn’t meet me?”

You sneered internally.

“Yeah. Sometimes people say one thing and then they actually mean another thing. You of all people should know.”

You saw Johnny coming out of his room, fully dressed and ready for your movie night together. You waved one last goodbye at Doyoung, who just realized that you were roasting him the whole time.

///

The passive-aggressiveness went on for a few more occasions. You refused his attempts to talk to you, knowing full well that your cold facade would wear off instantly once you let him. You wanted to talk to him so bad, but your pride was preventing you from making any rash decisions. You couldn’t just go back to living your life as Doyoung’s doormat. But, as per Johnny’s advice, you got to explain to him why you were feeling that way. He at least deserved that much.

That explanation came sooner than you had expected.

You were spending a lot of time with Johnny lately, but only because he treats you like a little sister. He must’ve missed his own sister back at home, so he was making sure to take care of you as much as he could. 

But Doyoung didn’t have to know that.

You had noticed the tension between the two of them whenever you would visit their dormitory. Johnny was just a bit irked at Doyoung because you were hurting, but he understood it from his perspective. He never knew how you felt in the first place, he wouldn’t have known how much he hurt you in the process.

What goes on in Doyoung’s brain though, you have no idea. He usually just stays away from the both of you whenever you’ve come to visit them, maybe throw in a couple of pleasantries before asking you to hang out with him once again. You kept on telling him that you will once you’re not busy with the academy, and then proceeds to forget about it on that same day.

One day, he’s finally had enough and decided to block the door when you were about to leave the dorm room.

"There's nothing to talk about Doyoung."

You tried to step out once again, but he didn't even budge from his place.

"Can you just tell me what I did? I already said sorry about not attending your recital. What else do you want me to do?"

You lowered your head and tried to leave again, determined not to answer his questions. But he's just as stubborn as you are, this time pushing you slightly, just enough to make you step back.

Your fists formed into a ball and your lips pursed in annoyance. Why does he care about you so much now that you're staying away from him?

"Let me leave, Doyoung. Johnny is waiting for me," you said as calmly as you could.

"Is that it? You're replacing me with Johnny? Just because of that one mistake? What kind of friendship is that?" Doyoung's voice went up a few notches, now looking as visibly upset as you are.

"I can't be your friend anymore, Doyoung," silence filled the room as soon as you said that statement. You both stare at each other awkwardly, both of you are still in a state of shock.

"I don't think this is the perfect time to tell you this, but you have to know eventually," grasping the straps of your handbag, you braced yourself for what you were about to say.

"I have feelings for you Doyoung. That's why I was so hurt that you didn't attend the recital," you paused for a bit, biting your lower lip to hold yourself back from tearing up.

"It made me realize that my life, everything about me, revolves around you. I would literally drop everything when you say you need me. And yet, I'm so far away from your priority list that you can't even sit down for a few minutes to watch me perform," you felt a bit of moisture from your cheeks. Tears were already falling from your face without you even realizing it. 

You wiped your tears away with your sleeves and you held yourself back from sobbing to proceed to talk.

"But it's not your fault. I was the one at fault for lending you my time, and I was the one at fault for setting high expectations for someone who just treats me as a friend," you smiled weakly as you walked towards him one last time.

"So for now, I can't be your friend anymore. Not until I sort my feelings out and make things more awkward for us. Give me time for myself, Doyoung. I'll try to be a better friend soon."

You smiled as you lowered your head once again, your shoulders brushing over when you left the room. You didn't try to look back and walked as fast as possible, holding yourself together just before you reached the exit.

You ran out of their apartment building and as soon as you found a place where you can hide, you finally let yourself go. You sat there balling your eyes out and looked around for signs of your best friend. When you realized that he didn't even make an effort to comfort or follow you, your sobs got even louder as you sat down on the pavement to hug your knees.

"Go on... Let it out."

Someone sat down with you and started patting your back to comfort you. You raised your head and cleared the hair strands that stuck to your face to see who it is. It was Johnny.

"I saw everything that happened. I'm happy that you finally told him."

He rubbed your shoulders to calm you down once again, offering you his handkerchief so you could wipe your tears out. Once you finally managed to stop crying, he stood up from his seat and placed his hands on the pockets of his hoodie.

"If you need to cry all day, I'll be here."

///

Doyoung proved that your presence left a big mark that he never realized before. He thought he was just confused at first, or that he was just getting used to not being able to contact you whenever he could.

Just that evening, he was having a hard time memorizing the new choreography for their comeback. He kept on messing up one of the killing parts and everyone was frustrated that they couldn't move on to the other parts of the choreography. He felt sorry for everyone, so he left practice early to work on it himself without burdening the other members. His first instinct was the grab his phone and listen to your soothing voice, telling him to cheer up and that he will do better tomorrow.

But as soon as he was about to hit the dial button, it pained him to press the back button instead, stuffing the phone into his sweatpants and he wiped the sweat off of him.

He felt very heaviness, even more, when he was changing, basically ripping the door of his locker as he took its contents to rid himself of the uncomfortable feeling of sweat. He was both mad and upset at the same time, almost ripping a part of his shirt when he was about to put it on.

He hasn't felt like this in a very long time and he needed a way to get things off of his chest. But without you to do it, it was practically impossible.

He grabbed his matching hat and jacket, stuffing his dirty clothes on his backpack and he made his way out of the building.

He made sure that no one saw him in that state, especially Haechan, who gave him so much shit when everybody found out about your confession.

"Everyone knew, you dumbass."

He just wished somebody would've told him sooner, but he knew it wasn't their place to tell him about it. He felt stupid for not realizing it sooner.

His heavy footsteps dragged him to the ramen shop that you used to go to together. He stopped coming here when he lost contact with you, and instead of making him feel better, it made him even more upset upon the reminder of how he fucked up. But he needed a way to make himself feel better. Ramen worked back then. Maybe it would work right now.

He made the choice to not sit down at your usual spot, the one closest to the kitchen so you would get your meals as soon as you could. He instead opted for one of the corners. It felt awkward, but he was there to eat, not enjoy the ambiance. He ordered a bowl to himself, something that he wasn't used to seeing on the table. The bowl of ramen looked so empty on the table by itself, and so he ordered a lot of side dishes with a few bottles of soju to comfort himself.

To his surprise, he was served by the same auntie that used to tease you and him before when the two of you used to go to this place. He hoped that she wouldn't recognize and ask for your whereabouts, but he was very unlucky that day.

"Oh. It's been a while since I saw you! How are you?"

Doyoung just bowed to the auntie and told him that he was fine and that he missed eating there for the longest time.

"I'm glad that I finally get to see you! You missed your friend though, she just left earlier."

He was put to a halt. Something about you being mentioned sparked something in him. Although, he wasn't able to pinpoint what that feeling was at that time.

"I think she was showing the place to another friend of yours. The big guy ate a lot, so we're worried for a bit that we’re about to close early for today."

Doyoung felt his heart sink, but he still bowed and thanked the auntie for the meal. 

He stared at the contents of his table for a while, but you would always remind him that the soup tasted better when it's still hot. For some reason though, the bowl of ramen wasn't as tasty as it used to be. He used to finish bowls of that same ramen before, but he couldn't even manage to finish one. He knew better than to waste food though, so he forced himself to eat the rest of it and jumped out of there as soon as he could.

The ramen certainly didn't make him feel better.

///

It's been weeks and the first thing that Doyoung did after waking up was to open his phone for messages. There were a few of them, most of it coming from the other members, but he wasn't interested in reading in any of them.

Getting out of bed seemed harder than usual. He felt a few pounds heavier, which meant he either gained weight or he just lost the will to get up from his bed.

He tried not to stare at his phone as he brushed his teeth, so he kept them hidden in his pocket and used all of his wills to not check on it every hour.

He noticed that there was a bit of commotion coming from outside. He paid no attention and went back to his usual morning routine, getting ready for a separate schedule that he had that morning. He went to his room to get dressed and pack the things that he may need that day. Once everything was done, he went to the kitchen to tell everyone that he was going, but he was met with something else instead.

The rest of the boys were gathered up around the table, enjoying breakfast that he assumed that you made. You just stood there happily as you served everyone pieces of the omelet that you made. You turned around in his direction and he was met with that smile that he missed so much.

"Doie, would you like some?"

The nickname made him flinch. It was something that you never used on him before, but it was enough to make him look away and step out of the room immediately.

"I'm good. I just came to say goodbye to everyone."

"Oh good!" you said as you gathered your things and stuffed them neatly in your tote bag. "I just came here to drop some food because this guy said that he wasn’t feeling well. Let's go together," you said as you tiptoed your way out of the tight kitchen, messing Johnny's hair before you finally stepped out of the room.

"Let's go?" you asked giddily as you grabbed Doyoung's arm and waved to everybody goodbye. He finally realized what you must've felt when it was the other way around.

The walk towards the bus stop was a quiet one. None of you dared to talk. But he noticed that the spring of your step is back, if not better than before. Meanwhile, he was just walking there awkwardly, not knowing what to say to you because of how he left things the last time that you talked. He wanted to talk to you for the longest time, but he respected your wishes to be alone. Now he was regretting making that decision.

The both of you stood there at the nearest bus stop, the atmosphere is even quieter since it was just the two of you standing there.

"I missed you Doie," you spoke, breaking the silence between you too.

"I was hoping that we can talk right after this. You know, just to clear the air."

He remained quiet in his place, not really knowing how to respond to her.

"Meet me at the ramen place later?"

"Sure," Doyoung almost hit himself for answering so soon. To him, he sounded very eager to eat with you once again.

The bus finally arrived and you stepped inside, making your way into the seat. His stare lingered at you for a while, to see if you would look around like how you always did when he sent you home. You took those same steps, hesitating at the eighth one to see if he still stuck around to look at you.

You hesitantly sat back down in your seat, unsure as to whether he finally looked back at you when you were about to leave.

You never saw him though, because he asked you to sit down and within a split second, he was gone from your view.

Guess you're just gonna have to find out tonight.

xxx

#neohbh #nct-writers #nctcreations #kdiarynet #kpopscape #kwritersworldnet #neoculturecafe #neoswitch #neowritingsnet #cznnet #nct #nct127 #nct u smut #nct doyoung #kim doyoung #doyoung fanfic #doyoung scenarios #doyoung x reader #doyoung angst #doyoung fluff #johnny suh #johnny x reader #nct johnny

[armysantiny]

Midnight Snack - SJN

P: Johnny x male reader - NCT (127) | G: fluff, drabble | Inc: snacks, midnight snack run, essay writing, teasing, younger male reader, sitting in the park at night  | Wc: 403 | W: food | R: PG

An: This is adorable-

The apartment was quiet, the only sounds filling the space being y/n’s fingers brushing along the keyboard and his and Johnny’s breathing. With nothing to do, the older of the pair had taken to watching his boyfriend crank out the last parts of his essay, concentration seemingly unwavering. Finally looking away to check the time, Johnny gasped dramatically when he had realised that the clock had long passed midnight. Fully aware of the time, Johnny had quickly become very aware that he hadn’t seen y/n get up to get something to eat, and the 26-year-old was starting to get pretty hungry himself.

“Y/n-ah, come with me~!” Pulling y/n out of his seat – unaware of his actual strength – Johnny unwittingly yanked his now laughing boyfriend to put on a coat and some shoes. Stood at the door, y/n watched as Johnny zipped up his coat.

“Hyung, it’s midnight – what are we doing?” Still amused as they left the apartment, y/n could only laugh as Johnny excitedly bounced his head.

“A snack run!”

“Now?”

“Yes now!”

Walking through the doors of the 24/7 convenience store, the couple split up as they searched for their favourite snacks and convenience food. Browsing the aisles as he pondered over his options, y/n picked up a selection of crisps, a pleased grin on his face when he found his favourite brand. Returning to his boyfriend’s side after he was done choosing, y/n peeked around Johnny’s arm, poking the taller male’s arm.

“Done already? That was quick—”

“It’s been fifteen minutes though?” Y/n snickered, looking into Johnny’s eyes with a gleam that made the Korean-American’s heart skip a beat. Shaking his head with a laugh, Johnny accepted ‘defeat’ as he picked out a handful of snacks and a couple of drinks for the pair.

Sat in the park with the street lamps overhead and snacks in hand, y/n and Johnny laughed amongst themselves, enjoying the privacy of the night sky. Reaching over and placing a honey-mustard crisp in Johnny’s mouth while the taller male wasn’t paying attention, y/n snickered at the sight, quickly snapping a picture. Aware of what had just happened when the sound of the shutter rang through the air, Johnny blushed, eating the crisp and ruffling his boyfriend’s air.

“Ah- hyung!” Y/n whined, feigning innocence while Johnny raised a brow. “The picture was cute!”

“Sure it is~ just wait ‘till I get my revenge y/n-ah~”

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[puppywritings]

celeritas - kim jungwoo x gender neutral reader

masterlist

⇢   synopsis: celeritas; speed, swiftness. windswept hair and ripped jeans. kim jungwoo, mysterious neighbour and alleged street racer. just what secrets lie within this man? and can you match his speed?

⇢   word count: 7.3k

⇢   trigger warnings: car accident, blood, non-serious injury, swearing, implied sex but no explicit scenes.

⇢   a/n: this is my piece for adrenaline rush, the nct racer au collab! please make sure to check out the other pieces in the collab:)

When your boss moved you to the graveyard shift, you were certain it was nothing short of a curse. The lack of sunlight you witnessed, the subsequent cost of vitamin D supplements, the inherent loneliness of living your whole life while the majority of your city slept.

There were certain benefits, however, once you gave yourself the time to adjust. Laundry, for example. On your days off, you were perfectly free to saunter down to the completely empty laundry room in your apartment building, which was a rare sight. In days long past, you’d had to fight tooth and nail for an opportunity to run a load of laundry, although you had found that the room was mostly empty come 3 in the morning. Key word: mostly.

There was a certain gentleman, who apparently lived in your apartment building, although you hadn’t ever seen him before your late-night laundry escapades. Now, however, he seemed to be a regular fixture in your life. You hadn’t yet figured out whether this was a benefit or drawback. In fact, you were having trouble figuring him out in general.

Soft brown hair, a little overgrown but he wore it well. Warm eyes, dark and shining, the kind you’d expect to see on a puppy. An air of confidence, the sense that he knew exactly who he was and what he was worth. Something about him… you just had to know more. He was a particularly interesting synopsis on the back of a novel, and you wanted to stay up all night reading him, cover to cover. You’d begun sharing smiles with the man, glances across the laundry room. Not that night, though.

That night, his rosy lips were pointed decidedly downwards in a frustrated pout, his eyebrows furrowed in a worried knot. There was something on his mind, that much was clear, and your mind ran wild, creating stories about what might be troubling him. He’d missed his stop on the bus home and ended up in a strange neighbourhood, and he was attempting to comprehend the oddities he’d witnessed. He was an undefeated chess master, and an upcoming champion was threatening his spot on the throne. His pet turtle hadn’t been eating her greens and he just couldn’t figure out why. None of those things, or perhaps all of those things.

“Fuck! For the love of god!”

The man’s cursing startled you from your daydreams, the impact of his shout causing you to drop the shirt you were holding. Even through your alarm, you found yourself thinking that he had a nice voice - even when he was yelling obscenities. You wondered how it would sound when he paid compliments, when he rambled about something he cared about, when poetry tumbled from his lips.

“Hey,” you called to him across the room, with all the bravery you could muster. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah,” he confirmed, although this clearly wasn’t the case. “I just can’t get this damn stain out.”

“Hm. What’s the stain?”

He lifted the shirt higher so that you could see it. A white t-shirt - well, you assumed it was once white. The condition of the fabric, when he pulled it from the washing machine, was a little less than ideal. A rusty stain covered the expanse of the material, red and brown. The man was far from happy - you could tell this wasn’t his first time battling this particular stain.

“Would you believe me if I said it’s ketchup?” he asked with a wry smirk. You couldn’t help but smile back at him - his sarcastic amusement was contagious, and you couldn’t help but feel that this was a frequent exchange for him. Not so much the laundry situation, but the smirk, making warmth blossom in the heart of a complete stranger.

You nodded. “Got it, no questions asked. Have you tried running a cold cycle? And do you wanna borrow some stain remover?”

“You’re a lifesaver,” he praised you. “Or at the very least, a shirt-saver.” You laughed at this; you wouldn’t have expected him to be so dorky. Or, upon reconsideration, maybe it was obvious. From the way his eyes glinted in the light. You swiftly closed your own machine, setting off the cycle, before gathering your equipment, your clothes-washing tools, and taking them over to the man.

“Here,” you said, taking the shirt from him and squirting the remover onto it. You walked him through the steps, rubbing the substance into the material before tossing it back into the machine and running a cold cycle.

“I’m Jungwoo, by the way. Apartment 127.” He held his hand out, and you shook it. Jungwoo, you thought, running his name through your mind. You wondered how it might taste, through laughter or in the dark.

“[Name]. Apartment 129.”

“No way,” he remarked. “We’re so close together - how haven’t we bumped into each other? Before recently, I mean.” It made you feel strangely special, the way he acknowledged your recent encounters with each other. Though you’d never spoken, he recognised you. He’d noticed you.

You shrugged nonchalantly. “I don’t know. Well, actually - I just moved to the night shift.”

“That’ll be it,” he confirmed. “I’m a creature of the night, mainly.”

“Well, I’m gonna go. I have… stuff to do.” His pause intrigued you, but you let it slip. Jungwoo tapped the sign on the wall beside him, reading DO NOT LEAVE LAUNDRY UNATTENDED. “I won’t tell if you won’t. See you around, [Name].” With a wink, and a smile, he was gone.

*

Now that you had a name to the face, a voice to the man, a sliver of personality to the otherwise unknown figure, Jungwoo seemed to occupy your thoughts a lot more in the coming week. Hard as you tried to curb these thoughts - you barely knew the man, after all - but whenever you left your apartment, particularly when it was any later than 11pm, you found yourself looking for him. You scanned the hallways, crossed your fingers when the elevator doors opened, kept an eye on the door of apartment 127. It was all to no avail, however. You didn’t see Jungwoo once in the week following.

You’d almost given up hope entirely, or perhaps you were so weary and exhausted from your shift that even Jungwoo was far from your thoughts, which were solely focused on your warm, comfortable bed that you couldn’t wait to fall into. Birds were chattering away to one another, and you sincerely believed you’d never get used to falling asleep at seven in the morning. As you were scanning your way into the building, passing your key fob over the sensor, you noticed a figure behind you, in your reflection. The person was tall, though their identity was hidden by their hood, and fear flashed through you.

You really hoped this wasn't one of those horror stories - where a strange man gains entry to an apartment building where he doesn't belong, only to murder its inhabitants. You glanced backwards before you pulled the door open, only for your fear to lessen and your concern-slash-confusion to raise.

"Jungwoo?" you asked, peering at him. He was clearly trying to hide himself, but you knew it was him. You unrecognised his lips, and hoped that wasn't creepy, but what deterred you was the swelling around the left side of his jaw. "Are you okay?"

"Hey, [Name]. I'm fine." He tried to give you a reassuring smile, but winced as the action twinged his swollen features.

"You don't seem too fine," you commented, trying to peer at the rest of his face, under his hood.

"I've had worse," he shrugged, wincing again. "Look, can we go inside?"

You frowned, pulling open your apartment door before ushering him inside and pulling down his hood, acting fast and catching him unaware, only to gasp at the state of his face. Along with his swollen jaw was a black eye, and a gash across his forehead that had recently ceased its bleeding, judging by the dark, dried blood around the site of injury

"Oh my god, Jungwoo, what happened?"

"Listen, I said it's fine-"

"Come on, let me patch you up." You grasped his arm, marching him towards the elevator, and he got the message that his protesting was worthless and you wouldn't be taking no for an answer. Once in your apartment, you pulled a chair out from your kitchen table and pushed Jungwoo firmly down onto it, before digging the first aid kit out of your cupboard.

Jungwoo was silent through the whole affair, and you sensed that some of this was surprise. It didn't seem like he was used to this - being taken charge of, that was. He seemed like the type of guy who took charge of everything and everyone he encountered. Well, you supposed, he had met his match.

He was a good patient, and only flinched once, when you brushed his wounds with an antibacterial wipe. Finished your cleaning and bandaging, you leaned back against your kitchen counter, eyeing the man up. He said nothing, simply looking back at you with an undetectable look on his face. His lips were set in a straight line, though his eyes were soft.

“Do you want a drink?” you asked him eventually, breaking the silence. “I have decaf coffee, tea, hot cocoa-”

“Hot cocoa, please!” Jungwoo interrupted, looking excited all of a sudden, despite his injuries. You nodded, and went to prepare two hot cocoas. Silence fell again, and it was a strangely comfortable silence considering you were near-strangers.

“So,” you spoke after a few moments, “I know I said I wouldn't ask questions. But I did just fix your face, so I think you kinda owe me a little explanation.”

“Hey, hey. This face? Could never need fixing. You can’t fix perfection.”

You gave him a look. “You’re avoiding the subject, Jungwoo.”

“Alright, alright,” he raised his hands in surrender. “I’m a street racer.”

You paused for a few beats, looking at him. Searching his face for any sign of amusement, waiting for a gotcha!

It didn’t come. “A street racer?”

“You don’t believe me?” he asked. He sounded genuine. You were left wondering whether he was, in fact, a street racer… or a pathological liar.

“You don’t look like a street racer,” was all you said, as you handed him his cocoa. He took a sip.

“Then, what do I look like?” he questioned. A model, you thought. Outwardly, however, you simply shrugged, and tried to hide your blush by taking a sip of your drink. “You can come see me in action if you want, baby. I’m racing again tomorrow night, midnight.”

You raised a skeptical eyebrow at him. “Follow a mysterious man, who I’ve found covered in blood on two separate occasions? Come on. Even to you, that must sound a little shifty.”

Jungwoo shrugged. “You’re the one who invited me into your home, baby.”

You sighed -  you couldn’t really fight him on that one. You wrapped your hands around your mug tightly. “I don’t know anything about you, Jungwoo. I don’t even know your last name-”

“Kim,” he interrupted. “Kim Jungwoo.”

You roll your eyes. “Fine. Well I know your last name, now. But still. How do I know you’re even telling the truth?”

Jungwoo smiled, his lips twisting upwards in the corners in the most endearing way possible. He looked into your eyes. “[Name]. Darling. Why would I lie?”

You give him a cynical look. “Really, Jungwoo? There are some serious creeps out there. Creeps who tell many different lies for many different reasons. And none of them are good reasons.”

“Just trust me, okay? Take a leap of faith.” You raised an eyebrow at him. Most creeps weren’t this pretty. “A leap right into my arms,” he continued, stretching his arms wide as an invitation.

Snorting out a laugh, you delivered a shove to his shoulder. Gently - you didn’t know the extent of his injuries. “I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt. Midnight, right?”

“Midnight,” he confirmed. He smiled at you, in a way that you couldn’t help but smile back. “See you then.”

With that, he was gone, leaving you alone in your kitchen once more. Jungwoo always seemed to come and go, much like a tornado, leaving you shell-shocked and windswept in his wake. Street racing, hm? You shook your head to yourself. Just what were you getting yourself into?

*

As you didn't have a car, you didn't tend to visit your building's underground parking lot often. If you did, you were sure you would've noticed Jungwoo's car before. Cars didn't typically stand out to you - you weren't a car person. But even you had to admit, there was something impressive about the vehicle.

It sat low to the ground, vintage-looking, stark black with two contrasting white stripes running across the middle. You didn't know they still made cars like that; maybe they didn't, you considered. You found yourself wondering how it sounded when the engine ran, how it looked when Jungwoo sped down city streets inside it. You noted the sizable dent on the front bumper, and wondered just how bad his crash had been the previous night. Apparently not big enough to deter him, seeing that he got right back into the game, but perhaps that said more about Jungwoo than the size of the crash.

"What do you think?" Jungwoo asked, his smirk audible in his voice. This thing was clearly his pride and joy.

"I like it," you admitted honestly. It's cute, you tacked on, mentally. Though it was an honest compliment, you weren't sure it would go down well if you voiced it.

You smiled when Jungwoo opened the passenger-side door for you. It was nice learning things about him - he was a gentleman, you noted, someone who believed in chivalry.

"You aren't gonna speed with me in the car, right?" you asked as he settled into the driver's seat, only half joking.

He shook his head. "I put myself at risk when I drive. I wouldn't do the same to you, [Name]." You said nothing, but felt your heart swell.

“It’s just a twenty-minute drive, baby. This kinda stuff has to take place on the outskirts of the city.”

“Hey,” you remarked, your tone surprised, curious, but not hostile. “Why do you keep calling me baby?”

Jungwoo paused for a moment. He didn’t seem to have the answer any more than you did. “I don’t call everyone ‘baby’ y’know. I’m not one of those guys,” he noted your sceptical look, “Really.” He trained his gaze back towards the road, eyes pointed forwards. “Something about you… I don’t know, [Name]. I just have to call you baby.”

You’d be lying if you said your heart didn’t flutter wildly at that. You pulled your scarf up to hide the blush that flooded your cheeks. You'd spent far longer than you'd like to admit picking out your outfit. You weren't entirely sure what type of person he was yet, nor the crowd he raced with. Not that you were trying to impress anybody - that wasn't you, that wasn't what you did. You just didn't want to stand out too much.

The weather was warming but the nights were still cool. You'd gone for a light jacket, paired with your favourite scarf. Enough to keep you warm, but not so much that you were completely bundled up.

"This isn't a big race, by the way," Jungwoo shared. "I'm sorry I can't show you something more impressive."

"That's okay," you told him, and it was the truth. You were happy to be invited here regardless. "I've never seen street racing before, so I guess I'll be impressed by anything."

Jungwoo snickered. "You're cute."

The city lights passed by in red and white streaks, and you felt dazzled. Before long, Jungwoo was pulling into a parking lot on the outskirts of the city. It had a strange feel to it; you knew that, by day, this place was probably rather abandoned, seeing activity levels of zero, most days. But now, just after midnight, there was a thrum of energy, small as it were.

Streetlights shone onto the lot, revealing one other car, its door open. One figure stood beside the car, another sitting in the passenger's seat.

Jungwoo put the car in park, but paused and turned to you before getting out. "Hey, if you wanna go home at any point, just let me know. I'm your ride 'n stuff, so…"

You nodded. "Thanks."

"And, by the way, if you get scared, you can always hold your hand."

You scoffed. "Sure. You wish."

Jungwoo winked at you, and opened his door to climb out. "Maybe I do wish that," he murmured before swiftly moving on, not giving you enough time to react. "The door sticks, I'll come open it for you."

Jungwoo was flirty. But you didn't know what he was after. You didn't know how genuine he was. Sure, he'd invited you out here to watch him race with his friends, but how did you know he wasn't just doing it to get laid? Were you the first person he'd brought here? The second? The tenth?

You found yourself flustered as you looked up at him, climbing out of the car. You really had to stop overthinking every interaction between you two. You left the car and approached the other, sticking close to Jungwoo's side.

"Jungwoo," greeted the standing man with an inclination of his head, a happy grin on his face.

"Hey guys," Jungwoo grinned at the boys. "This is [Name], like I said."

"Hi," you waved politely.

"This is Yukhei and Sicheng," he indicated to his friends. You found yourself wondering, Are all street racers this beautiful?

Yukhei was tall, an overgrown golden retriever of a man, with kind eyes and tousled hair. His beauty was a warm and welcoming one, and you couldn't help but feel favourably towards him right away. Sicheng, sitting in the car, had a more elegant, delicate beauty, a slight smile and a curious gaze; something about him intrigued you. You weren't sure what you'd expected of a group of street racers, but this wasn't it.

"Let's get into it," Jungwoo declared, sounding fired up. His excitement was electric, you felt it in the air.

"Move it, babe," Yukhei instructed Sicheng, who left the car with a roll of his eyes.

"Look after [Name] for me, Sicheng," Jungwoo called out before getting back in his car.

"I'm sure [Name] can look after themselves," Sicheng responded, before turning to you. "You might want to step back for this, though."

You complied wordlessly, taking a few steps backwards. Jungwoo and Yukhei lined up their respective cars, revving their engines a little more ferocity than necessary. Sicheng stood in front of them, a piece of fabric in his hand that looked like a bandana. He raised it in the air. The tension was thick, anticipation weighing on your shoulders. Sicheng lowered the bandana, and in an instant the cars were gone, leaving behind a cloud of dust which you braced yourself against.

And then… silence. It felt a little anticlimactic, but it made sense when you thought about it; the boys were racing through a concrete jungle, obviously you couldn't observe the whole course. Sicheng let out a huge breath, a cathartic sigh. You realised that your own adrenaline was running high, and imagined that Sicheng's must be even higher, since the cars had rushed right past him, impossibly close.

"That's that," he commented, smiling at you. He came to stand beside you, and you watched as he reached into the inside pocket of his jacket, pulling out a flask. "Cocoa," he said, before taking a swig. "Want some?"

You took it happily, enjoying the warmth that the sip instilled deep inside you. The night was a bit colder than you expected.

"So, you're Yukhei's-" the word boyfriend was on the tip of your tongue, but Sicheng interrupted before it could come out.

"No, no. We're just friends - he's my best friend. He's like a brother to me."

You nodded in understanding. "And you don't race?"

"Only idiots race," he said sagely, and you trusted his judgement; if the people he was closest to races, he would surely be an expert.

"I'll keep that in mind." You accepted the cocoa flask, when he offered it to you again.

"So, how do you know Jungwoo? He was very vague when he said he was bringing someone."

Your initial response, mentally, was I don't know him, not really. Although, you waved it away. It didn't feel true. "He's my neighbour. We haven't known each other long."

"He must like you," Sicheng remarked offhandedly.

"Well, I don't know about that," you denied, skeptical.

"He wouldn't have brought you here if you weren't special. This whole thing, the racing, it's all underground. You can get into a lot of trouble when you're caught."

You thought this over. Special. Of course, this was Sicheng's word, not Jungwoo's, but you wanted it to be true. It seemed more and more likely, the longer you dwelled on it; and you certainly had spent some time dwelling on it. He must've seen something in you, to invite you here. Maybe more than just bed-material. Maybe.

Minutes later, the two cars returned to the parking lot, almost side by side.

“I won that, for sure!” Yukhei yelled out of his open window.

“Yeah, for once,” Jungwoo contended. “C’mon, you’re showing me up in front of [Name]. They’re gonna think I’m a bad racer.”

“You’ll get it next time, Jungwoo,” you cheered him on with a smile.

Jungwoo and Yukhei raced a few more times, while you and Sicheng drank hot cocoa and cheered them on. You couldn’t explain why, but you felt more and more enthusiastic each time Jungwoo returned; you really got into the spirit of things. Jungwoo seemed to be the clear victor; he had won four races while Yukhei had only won one.

"Should we call it a night?" Jungwoo asked. "I'm starving." You had to admit, you were getting pretty hungry too. Upon checking your phone, you realised that a few hours had passed. You were so consumed in the excitement, in keeping score for Jungwoo, that you'd barely realised time was passing.

"I was thinking the same thing," Yukhei agreed. "We going to Aeja's?"

Jungwoo turned to you. "Are you up for that, [Name]?"

"Aeja's?"

"Aeja's diner," he elaborated. "The best apple pie you've ever tasted. Are you hungry? I can take you home, if you want."

Your stomach rumbled, as if answering the question for you, and you chuckled. "I'm famished."

You found yourself smiling when you got back into the car with Jungwoo. His presence was warm, and it felt good to be sitting next to him again.

“Are you having fun tonight?” Jungwoo asked you as he pulled out of the parking lot, following Yukhei’s car. “Sorry we haven’t really got to hang out yet. It can be kinda boring, watching people race.”

“No, I’m having fun,” you told him honestly. “This is exciting, and Sicheng’s been keeping me company; he seems nice.”

“I hope we can spend some more time together, [Name],” Jungwoo said, taking his eyes off the road for a moment to look at you. “We should hang out again.”

“I’d like that,” you replied honestly.

The tinkle of the bell above the door was a light, welcoming sound when you stepped into the diner. It was a nice place, and though you'd never been there before, it somehow instilled a sense of warm nostalgia within you. Hardwood floors, neon lights, cracked red leather booths. It was like something out of a movie. It was empty, save for a bored-looking waiter behind the counter.

"You guys again? Really?" he drawled, but there was a teasing expression on his face. He had an angular jaw, chocolate-brown hair in a low ponytail, and a nametag reading Yuta.

"Hush. We keep you in business," shot back Sicheng, as the four of you found your seats in a booth.

"You're right," the waiter - Yuta - conceded. "Manager's talking about shutting this place up at 10 every night." He came around the counter, joining you at your table.

"Don't you dare," threatened Yukhei, sounding deeply devastated at the prospect of new opening hours.

"It's not up to me, bro," Yuta raised his hands in surrender, seeming amused.

"I need this place," Yukhei iterated.

"Yeah, yeah. What do you want?" Yuta pulled a notebook and pencil from the pocket in his apron, ready to take your orders.

Jungwoo, Yukhei and Sicheng all knew what they wanted immediately, being regulars at the diner, so you just followed Jungwoo’s lead and ordered a burger and fries, with a milkshake.

Yukhei folded his arms onto the table, leaning towards you. “So. Did Jungwoo tell you about the big race?”

You looked to Jungwoo in question. “Big race?”

Jungwoo nodded in confirmation. “In a few weeks. That’s what we’re practicing for right now.”

“Million won prize,” Yukhei interjected.

Your eyes widened in surprise. “A million? Where does the money even come from?”

“Gambling, mostly,” Jungwoo explained. “A lot of people bet on the organised races.”

“Your Jungwoo’s the favourite for this upcoming race - three to one.”

You dismissed Yukhei’s remark of your Jungwoo, instead focusing on his claim of Jungwoo’s capability. “Woah, really?” He looked bashful when he met your gaze, and you had to admire the fact that he hadn’t bragged about this to you; you’d met far too many boys who boasted and gloated about their many triumphs, talking themselves up in a completely unnecessary and unlikable way. Jungwoo wasn’t one of these boys, it seemed.

“It’s not like this is a huge race,” he explained. “I only stand out locally. Plus, I have some pretty strong competition in this guy Jaehyun.”

“This is so crazy,” you expressed. “This whole street racing thing, I mean. It’s all been happening right under my nose and I had no idea. I didn’t even know it existed, really. I kind of thought it was just a movie thing.”

“It’s very real, baby,” Jungwoo assured you. You had to admit, you weren’t at all mad about the pet name he’d assigned to you; your heart fluttered each time the word passed his lips.

Yuta returned with your food, and you all tucked in. The boys hadn’t been exaggerating about the quality of this place - the fries were heavenly, the burger not too greasy.

“You know what they say about street racing, right?” Sicheng asked you, and you looked at him inquisitively. “Street racing started when they made the second car.” You smiled at the charming proverb.

“Drive fast and leave a sexy corpse, that’s my motto,” Yukhei said, around a mouthful of burger. Jungwoo snorted out a laugh, and Sicheng rolled his eyes though he was clearly amused. You caught Jungwoo’s gaze, and your own laughter doubled. There was a certain happiness that erupted within you, whenever you made eye contact with the boy.

You had to admit, this night was the most fun you’d had in a long time. You hadn’t met up with any friends in a while, now that you were a night owl, and you appreciated the way these three boys accepted you into their circle.

*

It was almost instantaneous, the switch in your life from loner to social butterfly. You began spending your nights with Jungwoo, Yukhei, and Sicheng, either racing, hanging in the diner, or otherwise exploring the city. You and Jungwoo had grown close, faster than you would’ve expected. He set off fireworks in your heart, stars erupting whenever you closed your eyes.

“What did you do before I came along?” you asked Sicheng as he poured you a cup of hot cocoa, in the parking lot that had grown incredibly familiar. “This must be so boring on your own.”

“I didn’t come to watch them race often,” Sicheng said. “I come to the big races, and we hang out a lot anyways - it’s not easy to find other people who are pretty much nocturnal. But Jungwoo asked me to come along to keep you company that first night.”

You hummed in acknowledgement. You supposed this was a new routine for more than just you.

“Oh, shit,” Sicheng muttered suddenly, looking past you. You turned to see red flashing lights, a police car cruising by silently.

“That’s bad, right?” you asked Sicheng, your heart spiking with nerves.

“It’s not good,” he confirmed, grimacing.

“What’ll happen if they’re caught?”

“They’ll probably get taken down to the station,” he explained. “After that, who knows.” Sicheng seemed worried, going by the tense look on his face, and his agitation was contagious. A sense of panic began to set in, and you chewed your lip anxiously.

“If they realise cops are patrolling before they’re caught, they should manage to get away okay,” he said, and you nodded in understanding.

After a few minutes, a few tense and painful minutes, a car rolled into a parking lot - Yukhei’s. He drove to you and Sicheng, parking up and climbing out.

“Where’s Jungwoo?” were the first words that passed your lips, urgent and hurried.

“Hiding out, I hope,” Yukhei responded, running a hand through his hair. “Fucking cop car, patrolling. We split when we saw it.”

Your worries weren’t eased in the slightest. “I’ll try texting him.” When you pulled your phone out of your pocket, you realised your hands were shaking.

Are you okay??? you tapped out, as quickly as you could. Moments passed. “He’s not replying,” you exhaled.

“Don’t worry, okay? It could mean he’s on the road, driving back here,” Yukhei said.

“It could also mean he’s been caught,” Sicheng mentioned. You saw Yukhei shoot him a look that said not helping.

Yukhei patted you on the shoulder. “Jungwoo’s survived much closer calls than this, alright? He’s tough. He’ll be fine.”

Though it felt like hours had passed, it had only been eight minutes, and you knew this precisely as you’d been checking your phone for messages the whole time. When the hum of Jungwoo’s engine neared, and he arrived at the parking lot, you audibly gasped. He jumped out of his car, and the sight of him, unscathed, brought relief that was almost overwhelming. You ran to him, hugging him tightly.

“Hey, hey, I’m alright. It’s okay,” Jungwoo reassured you with a surprised laugh, wrapping his arms around you. You pulled away, feeling shy all of a sudden, though Jungwoo kept a hold on you, arm wrapped around your waist.

“You think there was a leak?” Jungwoo asked.

“Maybe,” Yukhei responded with a shrug.

“A leak?” you asked. “What do you mean?”

“The police may have gotten word that there’s a race planned here. They don’t usually patrol this area,” Jungwoo explained, still holding you close.

“That’s what makes it a perfect racing spot,” Yukhei added. “No speed cameras, no police.”

Jungwoo sighed. “Let’s just call it quits for tonight, yeah? I’ll talk to Johnny tomorrow, see what he knows.”

“Sounds like a good idea,” Yukhei agreed. “Let me know if you hear anything.”

“C’mon, baby,” Jungwoo said, ushering you to his car.

The ride home was strangely silent. You didn’t think it had ever been this quiet between the two of you, not since your laundry room days. When Jungwoo parked up in the garage, he paused before getting out of the car, turning to you.

“Hey,” he said softly, placing a comforting hand on your knee. “You okay?” You simply nodded, eyes trained on your lap. “Look at me,” he said, and you did. His eyes were wide, genuine concern evident in his expression.

“I was really worried about you tonight,” you explained, and he smiled.

“I know,” he said gently. “That’s not something I’m used to, y’know? There usually isn’t anyone to worry about me like this.” His voice didn’t call for pity. If anything, he sounded amused by your outburst.

“I don’t know what came over me. I was terrified for you, Jungwoo.”

His smile turned into more of a smirk. “Maybe you just care about me, baby.”

“I do. I really do.” Your heart was racing, pounding at an alarming rate. Looking at Jungwoo, this hurricane of a man who had stormed his way into your life, you felt something you couldn’t explain. You wanted to be close to him, to stay close to him forever. When he slowly leaned in, you closed your eyes and waited for his lips to find yours.

They were soft - softer than you would’ve expected. His touch was light as a feather when he cupped your cheek. Your hands went to him automatically, settling on his body as though they were always supposed to be there; your left landing on his shoulder, your right flat on his chest. Jungwoo deepened the kiss without hesitation, sliding his tongue past your lips and using it expertly. A small moan emerged from within you, and Jungwoo pulled away before things got any more intense. You were left panting slightly, adrenaline coursing through you.

“I care about you too, for the record,” Jungwoo stated, and you smiled, shaking your head in amusement.

“Do you want to come to my apartment?” you invited him.

“I’d love to.”

*

You awoke as the sun was setting, golden rays filtering through your curtains. You blinked yourself awake, eyes adjusting to the room. Jungwoo was sitting at the edge of your bed, scrolling through his phone. You smiled to yourself, admiring his frame, the wide expanse of his shoulders. You noticed his eyebrows tied together, frustration etched into his features, and wondered just what he was looking at.

“Morning,” you greeted him sleepily, before amending, “Evening.”

“Hey, baby,” he replied, expression softening into a kind smile once he saw that you were awake. “You sleep well?”

You nodded. “Everything okay?”

Jungwoo laughed, a stressed chuckle, as he ran his hand through his hair. “One of our message boards was infiltrated - everything’s coded, but we can’t take any risks, especially not after last night. We’re gonna have to change the location of the race.”

“Oh no,” you said with a frown, moving to sit beside him. He lifted his arm, and you cuddled into his side, savoring his warmth. You tried hard not to smile to yourself, given Jungwoo’s unfortunate situation. You hadn’t realised just how much you’d craved his touch until you got it, and now you’d gotten a taste, you never wanted to let go.

Jungwoo groaned. “This is gonna throw me off, big-time.”

“But it’ll throw everyone else off, too. That could be a bonus,” you pointed out.

“You’re right,” he agreed, planting a kiss on the top of your head. “Plus, I have you now. My good luck charm.”

You smiled into the warm skin of his bare chest. This was a big obstacle, very close to the race. But, even with your very limited knowledge on the subject, Jungwoo seemed like a very competent racer. You knew he’d push through this.

*

The boys hadn't been exaggerating about the sheer energy these big races brought. There was an electricity in the air, and you felt inexplicably giddy, as though all your hairs were standing on end.

Floodlights shone down on the parking lot - not the one you'd been visiting, unfortunately, but a revised location on the other side of the city. The place was swarming, a whole crowd of people packed into the lot. Around fifty, if you had to estimate. Drinking, laughing, preparing. You didn't know what you'd expected, in terms of demographics, but you were surprised. People from all walks of life were here; punks with brightly coloured mohawks, men who wouldn't look out of place as lawyers or accountants, some of the most beautiful women you'd ever seen. It seemed that the art of street racing was seductive to all types of people.

You clutched Jungwoo's hand as you looked out at everyone, standing beside his trusty car. You knew he was nervous, but he didn't show it. He smiled down at you, giving your hand a squeeze.

"You're gonna do amazing," you reassured him, planting a kiss on his cheek.

"I know," he said, hints of a smirk on his lips. He looked past you suddenly, scowling. "Who let you in here?"

You turned to see a man approaching, a smug look plastered on his face. He was tall, as tall as Jungwoo, and handsome. Though his charm was different to Jungwoo’s; where Jungwoo was pretty, puppy-dog eyes and a bright smile, Jaehyun was angular, cocky grin and dark eyes.

“Could ask the same about you,” he shot back. “You ready to get your ass kicked?”

Jungwoo sighed, shaking his head with a smile. “Don’t try to trash talk me, Jaehyun. It’s embarrassing.”

“I’m not gonna be the one who’s embarrassed, Kim,” Jaehyun denied. “See you out there.”

“You won’t see me, man,” Jungwoo called out to him as he walked away. “You’ll be left behind in my dust.” Jaehyun failed to reply, only shooting Jungwoo the middle finger behind his back. Jungwoo snorted in laughter.

“So, that’s Jaehyun?” you asked. You’d heard about him, from Jungwoo and the others. He was one of the only racers who was on Jungwoo’s level, his biggest competitor. He’d won the last race, and Jungwoo was determined to take back the crown.

“Yeah, that’s him,” Jungwoo nodded. “Nasty piece of work, right?”

“Yeah, awful,” you agreed with a laugh - it wasn’t serious. The two of them were rivals, that much was evident, but you sensed a great deal of respect between them, without a doubt. They challenged each other, pushed each other to be better, and it seemed that they appreciated each other for that.

An air horn sounded suddenly, and you grasped Jungwoo’s hand a little tighter in surprise. He grinned at you, and you laughed as your cheeks heated. You were just so excited, so worked up, that it made you jumpy. “That’s the signal, babe,” Jungwoo explained. “Kiss for good luck?” You complied, giving him one last lingering kiss.

You reconvened with Sicheng, watching as Jungwoo and Yukhei got in their cars and drove towards the starting line. There were six cars, in total, with Jungwoo, Yukhei, and Jaehyun accounting for three of them. Yukhei’s nimble red car stood out among the bunch; Jaehyun’s was a deep blue, bigger than Yukhei or Jungwoo’s; however Jungwoo’s was certainly the most impressive of the bunch, with her stark white stripes. You could have been biased, though.

Your heart was pounding. With nerves, with excitement, possibly even a bit of fear. This was racing - real racing. You knew how dangerous it could get. After all, you’d fixed up Jungwoo’s injuries yourself. And, really, he was lucky to get away that lightly.

The parking lot was near silent as the cars lined up. You and Sicheng stood, a few metres away from the line of cars. You looked at Jungwoo, through his windshield. There was a look on his face, determined and excited, that made your heart flutter.

You’d never felt a silence so heavy, never heard a silence so loud. It was as though every single person was holding their breath. The tension sunk its sharp, jagged teeth into your skin, and you dug your nails into your palm.

“On your marks,” boomed a voice, amplified by a megaphone.

“Get set.” Engines revved.

“Go!”

Almost the instant the word had been uttered, the cars had sped off, leaving no trace behind. The crowd erupted, whooping and cheering. Sicheng pulled you into a hug, and you laughed as you held him close. There was a certain high that came from this, an adrenaline rush. You could barely even imagine how Jungwoo must be feeling, flying down the streets at lightning speed.

“You look nervous,” Sicheng commented, the corner of his mouth lifting. You gave him a small smile in response. “Jungwoo knows what he’s doing,” he reassured you, and you nodded. This felt so reminiscent of the times you’d spent with Sicheng, waiting for Jungwoo and Yukhei to finish racing, drinking hot cocoa and laughing together. Though it also felt wildly different. There was something riding on this race; Jungwoo’s pride and a lot of money. Your heart was pounding. A month ago you’d never spared a thought for street racing, and now? You’d give anything for one man to win this race.

The race was a little longer than what Jungwoo and Yukhei had been practicing - or maybe it only felt that way because you were sitting on the edge of your metaphorical seat. You could hear them, in the distance. An unmistakable low rumbling, thrumming through the asphalt. It grew louder, the cars drew nearer. You reached for Sicheng’s hand, clutching it tightly as butterflies raged in your stomach. You stepped forwards, peering down the street. You saw the headlights in the distance, as they turned onto the stretch of road. Sicheng gripped your shoulder, pulling you back gently from harm’s way, and you chuckled, a little embarrassed at your anxious enthusiasm.

You didn’t think you’d ever seen cars move that fast - in fact, you didn’t think you’d ever seen anything move that fast. You barely had time to blink, as Jungwoo and Jaehyun’s vehicles, a blur of black and navy, raced ahead of the others, appearing in front of you within an instant.

A screech, a deafening crashing sound, and a hoard of gasps met your ears all at once. If it weren’t for Sicheng’s grasp on your hand, you would’ve ran directly into the line of oncoming cars. “Jungwoo!” you heard yourself cry out, and although it was your voice, it sounded distant, far away.

“Hey, hey, [Name],” Sicheng said, pulling you closer to him. “He’s okay, Jungwoo’s okay.” His words were meant to soothe you, but his voice was still tinged with worry. You blinked, looking out at the scene in front of you.

The other cars whizzed by, driving past the wreck that Jaehyun’s car had become. Jungwoo had been the clear winner, as Jaehyun’s car had skidded off-course just a short distance from the finish line. The bumper had been dented, the metal crumpling as though it were paper. You watched as Jaehyun stumbled out of the driver’s side, mostly unscathed. A group of people ran to him, now that the cars had stopped flying by, carrying first aid kits, but you paid them no attention. You shrugged free of Sicheng’s grasp, running to where Jungwoo had stopped.

You caught sight of his car, dented along one side, and tears sprang to your eyes. Jungwoo climbed out when he saw you coming, and you held him at arm's length, looking over him frantically. “Are you okay?” you asked, your voice barely rising above a whisper.

“Baby, baby, I’m fine,” Jungwoo breathed, pulling you into a hug.

“Jaehyun,” you uttered. “He-”

Jungwoo pulled back, kissing your forehead. “He’s okay,” he assured you. You followed his gaze to Jaehyun, whose forehead was being wiped by a makeshift medic. He gave the two of you a thumbs up, and Jungwoo waved back.

“You won,” you stated, looking back to Jungwoo.

“Yeah,” Jungwoo laughed. “I guess I did.”

“You don’t sound very happy,” you pointed out, caressing his cheek lightly.

“It doesn’t feel right - I feel like I’ve won unlawfully, y’know? I only won cause Jaehyun crashed-”

“Maybe, but you don’t know that for sure,” you told him. “You won, and that’s that.” Jungwoo sighed, and you kissed him.

An air horn sounded, and you jumped yet again. Jungwoo laughed. “That’s for me, babe.”

“And the winner is Kim Jungwoo,” called out the voice, crackly through the megaphone. Jungwoo raised his hands in victory, as a scatter of applause rang out for him.

“A million won, huh?” you said. “What you gonna spend it on?”

“Fixing up my car, probably,” he sighed, looking back at the dent in his vehicle. “And I might take my baby on vacation.”

You giggled, kissing him once more. This street racing thing was slightly terrifying, you had found. But it had its plus sides too.

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