A/n: this one shot-fic is dedicated to my wonderful snowflakee @kittyxherondale !!! Merry Christmas !!!
Also a big thanks to @iammissstark for the rough editing !! Thank you so much love!!
Summary : Cassian has been called by Feysand to give them the progress report of the camps, but he doesn’t want to talk to them. He is infuriated by the way they treated Nesta, before sending her to the camps. On the other hand, he finds out they are mates during the argument between them. The Confrontations later and before change his and hers life in the most beautiful way.
Words : 4.4k +
It had been 3 months since Cassian and Nesta had come to the camps. They had been together for over a week now, when Cassian remembered that he had to go back to Velaris to give a progress report to the high lord and lady of the night court. This was my first time going back since Nesta came to the camps, he thought.
He didn’t know how to break this news to Nesta. He had been watching her from behind the door, where she had been braiding a little Illyrian girl’s hair. She was surrounded by the little ones. He saw a young girl whisper something in her ear, which chased Nesta to laughed.
Mother above, her laugh was making it even more difficult to leave. How relaxed and cheerful she looked . If he told her, it would just break her heart. Cassian was lost in his thoughts , until someone was shaking him. Nesta
“ What happened ??? Why are you looking so sad ??” Nesta asked him. Wait, he looked sad?
Nesta arched her brow in question.
“Sweetheart, you won’t believe me if I told you why I was so sad.“
"Just say it Commander ” She still didn’t call him Cassian. He thought this was a favour, because if she called him by his first name, Cauldron above, he won’t be able to take it without being wild with her .
“I don’t get to be with you the whole time sweetheart.” he sighed dramatically.
She paused for a moment before saying “Ok , now tell me what the truth is.”
Great, she caught him. Nothing can go past her intelligent mind . It’s always sieving out the answers and the truth.
“ Alright Nesta. The thing is that I have to go back to Velaris.”
“ What why??? ” She asked
“ I need to give the progress report of the Illyrians to Rhys and Feyre. ” And then Cassian added, after putting a thought for a moment “ it might be weeks before I come back ”
“Weeks?” She repeated.
“Yes, weeks. I am sorry Nessie but it’s important for me to go there”
“It’s okay, I understand ” she hugged him and added “ I know you are the general of the night court. You are responsible for the Illyrians and I won’t stop you from doing your job. It’s a part of you”
“Well I would gladly leave a part of me for you” he said kissing her hair. “ What would I do with a part of you, when I can have the whole of you” he knew she was smirking, uh that smartass knew how to shape her words for him to finally open up.
“ So you want the whole o-
But Nesta was already kissing him. She was running her hands over him, while Cassian groaned. He took Nesta to their room, the biggest given to the general of the night court , where he lay her on the bed, and soon they both started exploring each other, with time ticking by their side.
” I want more “ Cassian moaned.
"No, my love , you need to control yourself ” Nesta said.
“But whyy??? ”
“ Because , you have to go back to the city of starlight and you should at least have the energy to stand ” Nesta crooned.
“But you know sweetheart, I am one of the most powerful Illyrian” he smirked at her.
“No means No ” she said with a hint of amusement .
“Ok, but you know , being with you, I don’t even have to wear siphons, cause you take all the energy out of me……”
“ How touching ” she sighed dramatically and then they both laughed.
“ Ok but you gotta wear them tomorrow ” she said. They kissed for some time , that when they parted it was already dawn.
“Alright Nessie , but promise me you will wait for me ? ” He said firmly .
“I promise ” she said.
“Now go and get dressed ” she shoved him from the bed .
“You so badly want to get rid of me Don’t you Nesta” he sighed dramatically, turning towards the door , already dressed through some magic.
“Bastard” she hissed at him, as he went away, outside the door laughing.
By the time Nesta had dressed and had already completed some of her work, it was noon. Cassian soon had to leave. She thought of finding him, and then bid a goodbye , when someone tapped on her shoulder.
“ Hi Nessie. ” he said.
“Of all the nicknames you have for me , why do you keep using Nessie??? I have a reputation you know” she tried to lighten the tension between them, because she knew that she’d be in tears, if they were just serious with each other.
“ Because, Nessie , I like it and I know you love it too” he grinned at her. He knew the reason for this sudden question. “Besides you never call me by my name”.
But Nesta was already busy checking his siphons which he had to wear, in order to control his power.“You look …..ready ” she said .
“Well I gotta go now Nesta. But don’t worry I’ll be back before you start missing me “ he grinned at her.
"As if I am not busy enough ” she sighed. That sarcastic-
“ It’s time . I think you should go General.” Nesta said firmly.
Cassian sighed. She never let her guard down, her beautiful strong determined lover. “ I guess this is goodbye then. Good bye Nesta, I’ll meet you soon ” he said.
“ Goodbye general” she said, giving him a quick hug.
After a minute or so, Cassian had winnowed back to the city of starlight, back to Velaris, back to The residence of the high lord and lady of the night court.
Cassian had reached Velaris in about 2 hrs. It was night by the time he arrived at their new house, the riverfront estate , which Rhys had gifted to Feyre. This was also the house where months ago, Rhys had unleashed his powers on Nesta.
Poor broken Nesta. A helpless female fae, who had no strength to even take care of herself at that time. She had been so scared of him at that moment. Nesta had told her about this to Cassian, after they had been together. Cassian had become so angry, that It took much of Nesta’s strength for him to calm down.
Cassian recalled that memory. He knew he shouldn’t be this angry. But after they had shared their past lives with each other, he knew that it was not Nesta’s fault that Feyre had been sent to the woods for hunting. She was hurt by her father. And now, when he died, she couldn’t handle it-
“ Well, well, well. Look who is here?” Azriel had been standing close to him. Cassian was so lost, that he hadn’t sensed him or his slipping-in-the-shadow abilities.
“Az!!! You scared me !!! ” Cassian said. “ At least next time tell me that you are there.”
“Ok sure Cassian. Next time whenever I make an appearance, I’d say, Cassian if you are here, then please know that I am coming to meet you!!! “ They laughed.
” Since when did you become so cheerful Az?? “ Cassian asked.
"Well, let’s say I am enjoying myself in the gardens. Can you imagine Cass?? Me , a person who has the power of darkness, enjoys sunshine?? ”
“ Well , shadows are formed in the sunlight ” Cassian pointed out.
“ Ooooooo wise Cass” Az said. He seemed …. relieved. Well, at least now that he was involved with Elain, he won’t start thinking about Mor again. That would spare all three of them.
“ You look tired brother.” Az remarked.
“How did you- ”
“ sensing abilities ” Az reminded him. Yeah right, Cassian forgot about his always sensing first before you even know its abilities too.
“The high lord, oh Rhysand. Must be with Feyre in their room ” he said.
Az had a questioning look on his face, when he heard Cassian refer Rhys as the high lord. But Cassian just shrugged. He remembered Nesta always referring to Rhys and Feyre as the high lord and lady of the night court. Only by their titles. No familiarity in it.
Suddenly Cassian became drowsy. He was led by Azriel to his room.
“ Sleep Cass. You can meet them tomorrow ” Azriel said, closing his door, leaving him to his own thoughts in the darkness.
Cassian woke up at dawn. He had to meet them at 9 during breakfast. It was 7 am. He had made up his mind of trying not to do anything ridiculous or yell at those two. Calm down Cassian calm down he thought to himself.
Finally he got dressed up, and went to see the high lord and lady of the night court. First he saw Feyre. She was wearing a blue dress with gold swirls embedded on it. She even wore a tiara. Next he saw him. He was in his usual black clothes although his wings were concealed.
“ It’s been long, Cass” Feyre embraced him. She hugged him tightly, but Cassian didn’t move his hands towards her. So she stepped back. Thankfully , Rhys didn’t notice it. He was too busy picking up the toast from the dining table.
“ Good to see you brother ” Rhys said. “ I heard you arrived yesterday. Well why didn’t you meet us? ”
“ I thought you were occupied with some work ” Cassian gestured to Feyre. Rhys just laughed.
“ When you have a beautiful lover and mate like her Cass, you just seem to be occupied with her the whole time” Cassian just nodded.
“ Come join us Cassian ” Feyre said, gesturing to the table. He sat in one of the chairs , distancing himself from them. They both were silent for a few minutes, eating their breakfast. They must be talking about his rigidity through that bond. He thought. Better keep himself intact.
“ So about the progress of the camps, how’s everything ?? ” Rhys asked.
“The camps are working quite well, my lord” he said. Shit he said high lord, he’s done for sure.
“Playing formalities aren’t we General ” Rhys smirked, but it didn’t feel like he was joking.
Trying to lessen the tension in the room , Feyre asked him to go on.
“The camps are working better than before actually ”
“ What do you mean?? ” Rhys asked
“Well let’s just say that the Females are getting equal rights , and the males are not much bothered by them. They are actually quite comfortable. Devlon has even started selecting pairs of a male and a female for sparing, which was not possible in the last centuries.”
Cassian slowly explained this whole new mechanism of the camps. But he didn’t dare mention Nesta because of whom this had been initiated. First of all when she came, Devlon had been scared so badly, that a rumour was still going on he shitted his pants. Then because of that, many males and some females also became scared of her.
Later, when she showed them that she was not the one to be afraid of and shared her new understandings with them, The females embraced her as their own , irrespective of her not being an illyrian, and rebelled against the males. They only made food for themselves, only washed their clothes , and even separated their rooms and tents from the males , regardless of the relationship between them.
The males had been so frustrated that they had agreed to the equal rights. They didn’t know how to cook ,clean and Nesta had used this as their weak point and attacked. That goddamn calculative , intelligent smartass had been able to bring a change in the camps within a month, when in fact The high lord , couldn’t do anything in 500 years-
“ General, did you hear me ? ” Rhys asked.
“ Oh sorry my lord , I got a bit carried away” he smiled at them.
“Alright then, I guess we can discuss other matters later.” Feyre nodded and they both stood up going back up the stairs.
So they really didn’t bother to even ask about Nesta, he thought. This only added fuel to his fire. He knew he was going to burst, but he controlled himself. Feyre almost was out of sight , when Cassian asked “ aren’t you forgetting something my lady?”
“No general, I believe that I didn’t forget anything”
Rhysand was behind her. ” And what might it be, Genera,l that we are forgetting?? “ He commanded a warning to him, to not remind her about Nesta .
” About your sis- “
” Elain is doing well Cass “ Rhys said with a flick of his wrist, truly disinterested.
So they really didn’t care about Nesta. He wanted to yell at them so badly , but he tried to say ” About Nesta “ calmly.
” Oh right , how is she ?? “ Feyre asked without even a hint of emotion in her voice.
” Is she still drinking her guts out? “ Rhys asked.
That’s it , Cassian was done . He would not hear another word from them.
” Shut up" he whispered .
“ What was that Cassian?? ” Rhys asked .
“ I SAID SHUT UP!!” He screamed at them.
“Cassian stop screaming at him!!!! ” Feyre shouted back. “ He is your high lord!!!! Respect him!!! ”
“FOR WHAT"?? Cassian asked. “ You are taking his side for treating your sister badly?? He doesn’t even Care for Nesta you goddamn idiot!!! ”
“ Yes I don’t care for her !! And talk to my mate nicely!!! ” The high lord roared.
“ I know Nesta. She always hated me , she was always Angry, she never cared for m-”
“ My mate’s right Cassian. In Fact she rejected titles, rejected the Inner circle, rejected yo- ”
“ You know nothing about her. You know nothing about Nesta” Cassian was tired. Tired of listening to everyone in their circle of friends ranting about Nesta. Except for Az. But now, it had to be stopped.
“ You may have spent 19 years with Nesta, but you still don’t know her. You still don’t know her Feyre ”. He whispered. Feyre looked shocked. “ That’s- ”
“ Seems like Nesta sent you here to fight with us. First she sends Feyre to the woods. And now - ”
“ IF YOU DON’T SHUT UP THIS MINUTE, RHYS, I SWEAR I’LL KILL YOU”. Cassian roared.
“ Well what do you have in defense Cass- ”
“ Nesta wasn’t the one who sent Feyre to the woods. In Fact , she didn’t want her to hunt ,and wanted die through starvation -”
“ What ?? Why such ridiculous reaso- ”
Rhys let Cassian talk “ Feyre interrupted him.
So Cassian told them the whole reason , leaving bits and pieces which showed much of Nesta’s vulnerability and might be used against her.
” This was stupid “ Rhys concluded. ” Because we still don’t know who sent her, and as she was the oldest sibling, she could have stopped Feyre from going.“
” RHYS SHE WAS ONLY 16 AT THAT TIME!!! SHE HAD HER OWN TRAUMAS TO FIGHT. AND WASN’T HER USING THE MONEY TO BUY UNNECESSARY THINGS ENOUGH OF A CLUE ? “
” And as for who sent her…“ Cassian turned towards Feyre ” does he know about the promise ?? “
Feyre turned pale. That was enough to tell that Rhysand didn’t know. ” How do you know about The promise ?? , I was the only one who was present with her…“ She was passing by her door , when she heard it.
” Who her?? What are you talking about Feyre, what promise ?? “ Rhys asked.
” My mother “ Feyre whispered Tears rolled down her eyes. Cassian looked at Feyre apologetically , but remained silent. He didn’t know how he had been dragged into this mess of the Archerons, but it had to be sorted out and someone needed to do something. Suddenly Rhys became angry.
” How dare you ? How dare you Cassian make my mate sad?? “
"I only want the truth to be out so that Nesta isn’t blamed. ” He said calmly.
“Are you and Nesta together now?? Because I think she has influenced- ”
Suddenly the glass vases in the room shattered into million pieces. Thankfully he had worn his siphons. Mother above, he would have destroyed the whole house. Cassian was quiet with rage. Just one more thing about Nesta and he would-
“ Yes Nesta and I are together , but the way you had used your powers on her after the solstice , from that day on I had been- ”
“ Get out of here Cassian ” Rhys commanded, ready to use his power on him. “I don’t care who it is in front of me, friend or enemy, but if you make my mate hurt, you perish. You are my brother Cassian , but I would not allow this behaviour from you. As for Feyre” he turned towards her “ we will talk later. ” He wiped her tears.
“ Now, as your high lord, general, I command you to go back to the camps, right at this moment.”
As you wish my lord “ Cassian composed himself, as if nothing happened. But before winnowing he said ” And If you hurt my mate high lord , then you shall know the consequences.“
And with that he went far away from them.
Mate, Mate,mate , mate. The glass vase shattering wasn’t only because of the talk between them. It was because he had felt the mating bond snap in place. As soon as he felt it was snapped between him and Nesta, he felt the power of the bond rush through him leading to this destruction.
And then the whole Dialogue he had said before leaving. Cauldron boil him, could he ever stop spilling things? But it was not his fault, he thought. They had made him so angry, that he felt the need to say something. He defended her, like it was the end of the world. He didn’t know for how long he would not talk to them.
Maybe if Nesta forgives them then he might forgive them He thought. Nesta.
Memories of Nesta Archeron flooded his brain. Nesta kicking him, Nesta learning combat, Nesta in the high lord meeting, Nesta protecting him , Nesta kissing him, Nesta after the war, Nesta in the solstice party, Nesta’s last day in Velaris, Nesta first day in the camps-
” Hey Brother “ Cassian turned to Az. Seeing him made him realise that he had reached Az’s home. Maybe he needed to be there, after all , during winnowing he didn’t think of where to go.
” Hey Az “ he tried to grin at him.
” Cass are you alright ? “ He asked. He could clearly see the emotions Cassian was trying to hide.
” Wait, did you fight with someone?? “ He asked him.
” Yeah, guess whom ? , Rhys and Feyre"
“Cauldron boil me ” Azriel muttered .
“ Look I don’t know why but I had to defend her. I am sorry Az if it makes you feel I was being insensitive to them, but I had to. ” Tears rolled down his eyes.
“ I know ” “ Az said. ” I had seen you look at them with some confusion when Nesta left to collect her belongings and leave for the camps the next day. It’s okay, Cass . You did the right thing. Not many are able to stand up to defend others from their loved ones. Speaking of which, how’s your mate? “ Az asked him .
” Well she is really happy there- “ Cassian stilled with astonishment clear on his face. ” Wait , how did you know she is my mate?“
” Well, Elain is a seer you know, so after you guys left, she had this vision two days later , where you both called each other your mate" Az waved his hand as if it was normal for him to discover mates of his best friend every day.
“Did you tell anyone? ” Cass asked, fully aware that Rhys and Feyre knew .
“ No, I didn’t tell anyone , not even Rhys , because I thought it would be the right thing to tell you first.”
“ Oh don’t bother, they know too . ”
“ Oh , ig you just felt the bond then ” Az realised. “ So, how has Elain taken this news? ”
As soon as He said Elain’s name , Az brightened. “ She is well you know. She was so happy that you guys were mates. She was laughing and she felt relieved too that Nesta will be getting better. ”
They both murmured “ seer things ” and laughed.
“ Come inside brother. I think you should sleep , you won’t be able to fly to the camps.”
“ What if the high lord and lady punish you ?”
“ Oh they won’t , and I can handle it . ” Az smiled at Cass and hugged him. “ Now go inside, you know your room I hope. ”
“ Go sleep and when you are freshened up, go back to the camps.” “ Thanks Az you are the best. ” Cass said.
As soon as he came in contact with the bed , he slept peacefully.
It was midnight. Cassian had been sleeping for almost 7-8 hours. He didn’t feel tired at all. He tiptoed to Azriel’s room and saw that he was asleep. So he wrote a note and left it in his room, certain that he’d read it. Then he left his home flying towards his own; The Windhaven camps.
Nesta had been staring at the stars in the sky. They were clustered together and twinkling . Well, this was the benefit of being in the night court, She thought. A beautiful calming night scenery, where even her worst days in the camp gave her hope to have a new better one.
Emerie had asked her to go to sleep an hour back, but she refused and asked her to sleep. As, Emerie had been working the whole day long and looked tired. So Emerie had built her a small fire.
“You’ll get cold Nesta ” she had said.
“ Aww you care about me ”
“ well actually if you get sick then I’d have to work double .” They laughed.
Ever since she came to the camps, the first friend she had was Emerie. Talking to her made her feel that they were somewhat the same. Not after a week in the camps they had become best of friends. Emerie had even told her that Cassian had begged her to feed Nesta, for Nesta only listened to her. She had laughed hard at that time. They told each other everything. Except that Nesta didn’t tell Emerie about a strange happening in the morning.
She had been cleaning the jugs in the kitchen after breakfast, when she felt something inside her. That sensation in her brought Thoughts of Cassian rushing through her whole body. It felt as if something snapped. Suddenly she was missing Cassian so badly , that she thought she might go and bring him back by pulling him.
Nesta was curious about this weird sensation, so she made up that she was sick , and went to the small library. The library didn’t have much information , but Nesta hoped that she might find something. She searched through the books on the shelves. Potions by healers , the most ancient dynasty, history of the origin, Prythian and its parts, a guide to solar courts, Bonds and Bargains-
Her eyes didn’t skip that book. The weird sensation felt like a bond. She had made her first bond with Emerie, and she knew how it felt. But she didn’t think about it now, for this mystery was waiting for her to get resolved. She had read half the book, and almost lost hope, when she saw a new chapter. The mating bond .
She began reading. “ The mating bond is one of the most sacred bonds between faes, as it’s deeper than a marriage . It exists between two faes of equal power , and can never be broken. The bond snaps either before the two faes know each other, or when they are intimate. It is a rare bond, and always reminds the fae about their mate making them bring their mates closer. It also………….. ”
She read the whole article and let that sink in. So Cassian was her mate. And the bond was snapped today. Urgh no wonder she had been daydreaming about him the whole day. Suddenly she smiled and tears of happiness rolled her eyes. She was delighted that of all the males , Cassian was hers. She could feel the bond in him , as if it were waiting for her to reach it. However, she didn’t dare do anything , thinking that it would disappear as if it were a dream.
Nesta was staring dreamily at the sky , when she noticed the stars make an outline of wings. Wings shaped just like Cassian’s . She thought. She squinted her eyes and saw that it was none other than Cassian, who was flying towards her. She suddenly felt dizzy with happiness. As soon as he landed , he saw her. He felt relieved. He came closer to her, and then they had a makeout session for a long time.
“ Hate to break this kiss, but what are you doing here , you were supposed to meet them? ” Nesta whispered.
“Let’s just say that, I got into a friendly fight with them .”
“ Friendly fight ” Nesta repeated. “ If it were one , then you wouldn’t have come after a day. ”
“Alright , it was a really bad fight . ” He said.
“ Well, what happened ? ”. Nesta asked.
So Cassian explained everything. He told her about them being self absorbed , that they didn’t care about anyone, he told her about the talk between him and them, about the promise , leaving the vase incident-
“ Wait. Why did you bring her in our conversation ? ” She asked slowly.
“Because Nesta, I can’t see everyone else blaming you for everything.” Tears rolled down his eyes. “ I am sorry, I didn’t want to, but I know the truth as you do, and I’d defend and be with you till the end of the world. Because I love you. They didn’t understand. They never did Nesta. They don’t know everything, although I hope they will now. I am sorry for doing this, for bringing her up and if you want to , you can break up with me , and never talk to me for the rest of your life, but I am sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”
Tears rolled down Nesta’s eyes. “ You stupid big bat ” she was crying now. “ I didn’t know you’d go this far for me. I didn’t know , I didn’t know that you loved me so much , that you’d stand up for me in front of your loved ones. It would be a loss for me to lose someone as precious as you.” She added.
Nesta had almost-stopped crying and wiped Cassian’s tears from his cheeks. “ I love you Cassian ” she hugged him.
“ I love you too, mate ” Cassian said after realisation hit him, he stilled.
“Yeah about that mate thing, I accept it ” she whispered in his ears.
“I am honoured to be your mate ” they both said simultaneously and laughed heartily.
At last they both sat down. Nesta snuggled in with Cassian looking up at the stars, which once again gave her hope for a new life, a new beginning.
Tagging @kittyxherondale @perseusannabeth @julemmaes @simping4bookboisngrls @nestable @illyrianwitchling @saphie3243 @iammissstark @silvernesta @shansenfan @maham-10298 @grouchycritic7794 @creatorofthegalaxy @duskandstarlight @zoyaswife @ladynestaarcheron @fanboy7794 @sayosdreams
A/n thank you for reading it!!
Merry Christmas !! 🎄🎄
Author’s Note: So this is my first ever posted and finished one shot. I hope you guys enjoy it. I welcome suggestions and tips to improve my writing, so if you have any, I’m very much open. Thanks to every one who have shown interest. :)
They were in the middle of making love. Cassian stroked Nesta’s back with his fingers. But suddenly there was a wince. It was Nesta. Cass immediately stopped what he was doing, looked at Nesta in her eyes and asked what was wrong.
“It’s nothing. I’m fine.” Nesta whispered.
“That was definitely a wince, sweetheart. Did I hurt you?” He said while stroking that same part where he thought he’d hurt her. Much to his dismay, she did wince yet again despite her trying not to.
Cass straightened their position, looked at Nesta with raised eyebrows, speaking to her silently as if asking her what’s really going on. Nesta sighed. She has been feeling a slight pain in her back for the past few days. She didn’t think too much about it though since the pain comes and goes. She thinks it probably was just caused by prolonged sitting around whenever she reads her novels and does Emissary paper works.
“It’s nothing. Really. Don’t worry too much. Probably because I’ve been sitting for too long in an awkward position while reading and doing paper work that’s causing the strain.” Nesta tries to assure Cassian while nuzzling his neck.
Cassian, a little hesitant due to his concern, asked again. “You sure love? If you need some rest, we could just…” He shrugged while caressing her arms.
Nesta leaned back, put Cassian’s face in between her hands so they’ll be eye to eye. “I’m fine. Now, please let me make love to my mate or should we just call it a night?” She crossed her arms, and glared at him. She has missed him. They’ve only seen each other in the morning before he left for camp, and at lunch when he was winnowed by Rhys at the townhouse so they can at least all eat together. Rhys, Az and Cass have been busy for the past few days in preparation for the Annual Assembly of all Ilyrian Camp Generals and troops happening next week. After the war, it has been agreed by all Illyrian leaders that an annual assembly be held on different camps every year, this is both a celebration for the peace that they have achieved by fighting together as one. And as an opportunity, for them to voice out their concerns, suggestions or anything they want to say and ask. It’s usually an overnight event. A welcoming salvo in the morning. Some meetings during the day, and a bonfire get together in the night. This year it will be held in Illyria. Their home camp. And they want to make sure everything is as it should be.
Cassian’s eyes darkened. Damn it. She missed her mate too. While some will cower on that stormy gray-eyed glare that Nesta gives, it just gives his body chills and raises his libido higher. So he gave that sexy grin to her, pushing Nesta on her back. And that night was filled with moans and groans. No other words. Just two names echoing within those walls. As if nothing even interrupted them in the first place.
Nesta and Cassian couldn’t fight their feelings so they ended up fighting each other. But sometimes, love is stronger than everything else.
Just something I had the urge to write which turned out way longer than I intended. Do not let me suffer through this alone, but like it, reblog it and let me know what you think about it xx
“Urgh, can you two just stop for once?”, Nesta groaned loudly and threw the fork along with the egg back onto her plate.
Feyre and Rhys didn’t even bother to break her kiss, the former just giving her an apologizing shrug.
“Don’t bother, sweetheart. The two of them won’t go to change this behaviour in the next century. If ever”, Cassian replied.
She hadn’t even noticed that the commander had strolled into the dining room just mere seconds ago. Nesta doubted that her sister or her mate recognized it either, considering that they were currently putting on a show that normally no one should have been forced to see. Above all not Elain, probably losing part of her innocence every second.
“I am trying to eat here”, Nesta complained grumpily and put the egg back onto her fork.
“You could eat me”, Cassian suggested and winked at her which led Nesta to nearly spitting out her food again. The oldest sister was debating was debating whether it was worth the power to throw her plate’s content directly over the arrogant male.
This day was already a disaster before it properly started, Nesta thought and longed for just a few hours of quiet, just her and her books without anyone disturbing. Especially the Illyrian whose priority goal in life seemed to be to annoy her just for fun.
Cassian sat down next to her, making sure that his wings weren’t trapped at the chair’s armrest and Nesta wondered not for the first time if it was frustrating to always make sure that the wings were safely put away. She never asked though, not wanting to give the wing’s owner any sort of amusement.
As if he was feeling Nesta’s stare, Cassian’s eye shifted towards her and the girl was suddenly very occupied with her food, feeling lingering gaze.
“You are starring! What do you want?”, she asked after he didn’t stop, forcing the words through her nearly closed lips.
Cassian smirked. “Cauldron, unless I have lost my memory in the last minutes, you were the one staring at me first. But do not fear, I know what a handsome image I can be.”
Nesta rolled her eyes. “Do you ever stop being a prick?”
“Just stating the facts here, sweetheart”, Cassian replied and took a big bite of his food.
There it was again. This nickname that Nesta didn’t know how to handle. Most of the time it came out mockingly, just for the pure purpose to get her anger up. But there were times were it had a certain undertone which meaning she could not detect properly. If it wouldn’t be coming from Cassian’s lips, she would have thought it to be rather soft and sweet.
“Well, my facts tell me that you are an arrogant asshole”, Nesta commented and groaned when she saw that Rhysand apparently lost his shirt without carring that he still had spectators.
Repulsed Nesta shoved her plat away.
Cassian laughed at her reaction. “Not used to seeing naked men? What a shame, Nesta. What a shame. But do not fear anymore. I could help you solve this problem.”
The oldest Archeron sister tried to force the heat out of her face. Yes, she may have not seen so many naked bodies in her life yet, but that was nothing of Cassian’s concerns.
They were quiet for a few seconds, before Cassian suggested that they could go train.
And Nesta, being either disgusted or desperate by seeing her sister make out with Rhys, nodded, agreeing for the first time instead of just dismissing the Illyrian’s attempts. “Let’s go train.”
Cassian seemed slightly taken aback and she was proud that she got him to shut him up even once. A speechless Commander. She could get used to the idea.
It wasn’t more than two hours later, that Nesta regretted to not having agreed to the Illyrian’s proposal sooner.
For the first time in forever she didn’t feel wrong. She didn’t feel week. She didn’t feel useless anymore. The training gave her a purpose again. Helped her feeling strong and confident for the first time since she had been made into fae and got trapped in this body that just felt so unfamiliar and wrong. But being able to use this power and the fast reflects that she had now made her feel a kind of connection finally. She felt more like herself again. God, she missed this so much.
Also, it had the nice side effect that she was allowed to hit the male opposite her as often as she wanted, Nesta thought. Although her hit ratio was embarrassingly low considering that she mastered to hit the Illyrian one time in total. And this just because Azriel had held Cassian’s arms behind his back after she complained to the two of them that it wasn’t fair for them to expect her to be able to hit him while he had so much longer arms.
Cassian had just laughed after that, not even flinching after she had hit the target, and ordered the shadowman to go and play with his shadows as he was interrupting the training. Azriel had just shrugged as a response and disappeared, leaving Nesta in nearly screaming for him to come back as soon as she realized that she and Cassian were the only two persons left at the training field. She had the feeling that this wouldn’t end well.
“Hold the arm a little bit higher and make sure that your thumb isn’t in your fist”, Cassian ordered and demonstrated what he meant.
Nesta was watching him carefully and did exactly what he told.
One more blow, blocked once more.
“Try to take your body as an advantage and swing not only your arm but all of you to get more power behind your stroke”, the commander recommended.
Luckily he seemed to take the training as serious as she did, not mocking her once through the session. Not speaking to her except of giving her orders and telling her how to improve her tactiv. He could be kind of nice when he wasn’t his cocky self, Nesta thought after a while.
Another blow, another block.
“Good. You are getting better.” Cassian nodded approvingly.
“Does this mean that we can start using real swords know?”, she replied, trying to catch her breath.
“You wouldn’t be able to lift it up at all. You will have to built a few muscles first, sweetheart.” His lips turned into a smile.
“Then we should start building those muscles”, she said.
He shook his head. “You seem tired, Nesta. We should stop the training and continue another time.”
“No. I still have enough power left. Also, I am not sweaty enough yet”, Nesta replied stubbornly, ignoring the waves of sweat running down her body.
“I could solve this problem in another way”, Cassian winked.
Nesta sent him an angry glance. “This training is not finished until I hid you one more time, dickhead”, she demanded.
Cassian just shrugged his shoulders. “Well, alright. Then position yourself again, making sure to be able to distribute your weight in the way I-“
He didn’t finish his sentence thanks to Nesta who thought her only chance to get this damned hit was to surprise him and hit him midsentence.
She watched pleased as her arm moved forward straight in his direction, hitting him directly at his chest. Or nearly, at least. Faster than she would have thought possible, Cassian swiftly raised his hand and caught her fist before it had the chance to hit his corpus. He moved with such rapidity.
Nesta’s eyes widened as soon as she recognized that thanks to her using her whole body’s power she had herself catapulted directly into his arms. Their legs were touching, her face nearly pressed against his chest. One of her hands was still captured in Cassian’s, while her other one was caught between their bodies, being the only thing keeping their upper bodies to be pressed against each other totally. Nesta could feel his heat and if she wouldn’t be in the situation she was in at this moment, certainly she would have wondered why he didn’t seem to sweat at all while she was covered in perspiration.
But Nesta was caught in this situation and she couldn’t stop thinking about it, about him, while at the same time she could not think at all.
“You know, considering the position we are in you could give me a kiss at least”, Cassian said, his voice rougher than normally.
Nesta’s body felt like she was burning, directly in hell or heaven, she did not care at all. She felt a part of her wanting to reach forward, towards his face, towards Cassian, and explore him in a way that she hadn’t explored anyone else from the other sex, not even once in her life. Suddenly she wanted to feel his lips pressed against hers, wondering if he would be soft or pressing, wondering if he would be able to leave her breathless, wondering if he would be able to let her feel all these things she would only allow her to dream about at night time, in the dark when she should long be asleep. The sole thought about it left her panicking. She had lost control. Totally.
Nesta had lost control and that was something she could not deal with. Not after everything that happened.
So she looked him straight in the eyes, hoping that he couldn’t see the part of her that wanted nothing more as for him to catch her in his arms, holding her like he intended to never let her go again. “I will never, ever kiss you. Not even once. So you better stop thinking about it, bastard”, she spit into his face.
Cassian stepped back as fast as if he was burnt. And maybe words could burn someone as well, Nesta thought when she could see something in flickering in his eyes as if she truly hurt him. But just a moment later his face had become unreadable.
“I think the training is finished for today, Nesta” Cassian said toneless. He spread his wings, shooting towards the sky without turning to her again.
She felt cold again.
The next morning Cassian didn’t turn up for breakfast, leaving Nesta to train with Azriel. She was glad about that. She ate, enjoying the silence for once and then followed the shadowsinger when he explained to her that she would take her training today.
One week after, Nesta began asking herself if Cassian was trying to avoid her as much as she was trying to avoid him.
Two weeks after, Nesta started to slightly miss all these inappropriate remarks which made her at least feel something at all although she would never ever put that into words.
Three weeks later, Nesta wanted to know where Cassian had gone. There was a training issue at one of the war camps, Azriel explained to her. Which one, she had wanted to know. But the shadowsinger had just starred at her and ordered her to get into fighting position again.
Four weeks later, Nesta decided that she wasn’t taking any excuses anymore. Cassian still hadn’t officially returned from camp but she could have sworn that she saw him in the corridor last night, watching her silently and then turning away without saying anything. He had just looked at her, panic to be read in his eyes when he had recognized that she had saw him and vanished into his bedroom, so fast that Nesta had not have any chance to react. That was the moment she felt that this time she had really fucked up somehow.
Cassian might have been mad at her before, as she was mad at him nearly all the time, but eventually they had always been able to talk to each other again, annoying the shit out of each other. This time something was different. And it felt so wrong.
So Nesta stepped down the stairs next day, bursting into the dining room, ready to demand answers.
The room was empty except for Mor who was just looking up once and then went on doing whatever she was doing, holding a cup in her hand and pressing her fingers around it in a way as if she was trying to hold control.
“Were is everyone?”, Nesta asked and sat down at the table next to the other girl who was covered in a light, red dress and looking like a queen herself.
“Rhys took your sisters to the city, Amren is visiting a friend and Az is waiting for you at the training place”, Mor answered without really looking at her.
“And Cassian?”, Nesta wanted to know.
“Cassian is still at the camps”, Mor told her casually.
Nesta starred at her, not wanting to take this excuse anymore. “We both know that he is back. Probably back for days. If he even went at all. I saw him yesterday, so stop lying to my face”, she said.
Mor snorted and looked at her for the first time today. Nesta could see the fire in her face. “You know, I cannot figure out if you are just that oblivious or a real bitch”, she commented.
Her voice was calm, way too calm. Nesta new that this was dangerous. Mor certainly had her tempers. She could scream and snap at everyone, going of like a flame, but the moments she was really angry she was calmer than the sea.
“I know that he is angry at me”, Nesta murmured quietly, not wanting to get into a fight. Not after she had already one person in this house hating her that much that he was avoiding her for a full month now “So please tell me, Mor. What have I done? I want to make this right.”
Mor crossed her arms. “He is not angry at you, Nesta. He is – you took his heart and crushed it so hard that he isn’t speaking to anyone anymore. At least not really”, she told her.
Nesta felt something tighten in herself. “But why? I do not know what I have done wrong.”
“You called him a bastard. Right after you told him that he shouldn’t even dare to kiss you”, Mor hissed as if this was self-explanatory.
“I called him many things. Dickhead, Asshole, arrogant, prick. You know that. That was kind of our thing. But never ever did he took it to his heart”, the younger one replied, feeling her getting even more confused.
“You don’t know, do you? You really don’t have any idea”, Mor countered, her voice changing from icy to pitiful. “I just thought someone would have told you that’s why I never mentioned it. I guess all of us thought that someone else told you that’s why no one really did.”
Nesta looked at her silently, her gaze pleading the other woman to just tell her what had happened. She was slowly getting anxious and just wanted to know what the hell she did wrong.
Because she was really missing Cassian somehow. Missing him annoying her. Missing him helping her pick her up in the most unusual ways. Missing him because he could make her feel in a way that no one else could.
“Cassian’s sire knock his mother up and left even before he was born. As a child he was left to sleep outside, being looked down because he was a bastard, abandoned by everyone. No one cared for him, no one even gave a damn about whether he existed or not. Not until Rhys mother found him and took him under her wings”, Mor explained, her voice tight, her words painfully stepping Nesta, making her feel so sorry, so terribly sorry.
“After centuries he finally started to accept himself. To ignore all these hateful voices, claiming that he should not be Rhy’s commander, should not be an Illyrian warrior at all. All these people telling him that he is worse than dirt. And then you came around and he started to open up a place in his heart, feeling things that I never really knew he was even capable of. He trusted you, Nesta. He started to feel something for you, not that you are he ever really did notice. But we others did. You made him happy in a weird, fucked up but wonderful way.”
“And then I said these things and- I did not know.” Nestas fingers were trembling slightly, her voice shakenly. “I really did not know.”
“I know. I know now”, Mor claimed, not angry anymore but rather just exhausted, “He is fallen into a cloud of self-pity. Thinking that he doesn’t deserve you or anyone really. Because he is not worthy enough to be loved. I tried to get him out of it. Rhys did, Az did. Your sister as well. But Cassian can be very stubborn if he wants. And he has always been best in talking himself down.”
Nesta felt her heart hurt. How the hell could she have been that stupid?
“I should go talk to him”, the oldest sister murmured.
Mor nodded slightly. “He is upstairs in his room. Brooding since days.”
Nesta got up, left the dining room and strolled up the stairs, not sure if she should take her time ur just burst into his room, telling him how sorry she was.
She stopped in front of his door, knocking softly.
Something that sounded a lot like a pillow crushed against the wood. “Just leave me alone, Mor. I don’t want to go through another one of talks”, Cassian growled.
Nesta just opened the door and stepped inside, her eyes taking in her surroundings, recognizing that this was the first time that she was in his chamber. The Illyrian warrior sat on his bed, his wings nearly shielding her from the view of his body. But even now Nesta could see the sunken shoulders, the bended head.
“I told you that-“, Cassian protested as soon as he heard someone entering, turning around and stopping midsentence as soon as he saw her standing in his door.
“Nesta.” Her name. Just her name. It was enough to send shivers down her body.
“I guess you aren’t at the war camp anymore?”, she said, lifting the pillow up from the floor before she went to stand next to his bed and positioned the cushion at the place where it belonged.
“I guess I am not”, Cassian answered, his voice lacking his usual bite.
“Is it-“, Nesta hesitated before continuing. “Is it okay if I sit with you?”
The Commander just shrugged and moved a little bit, making it possible for her to sit in front of him.
Nesta sat down, starring at his face, trying to think about what to say. Elain would be able to find the perfect words, hell, even Feyre would know what to say. But her, she has always been bad in apologizing. She somehow always seemed to say the wrong words at the wrong time, hurting everyone around her. Hurting the people most that were so anchored to her heart that it hurt sometimes. And now she felt so helpless. So insecure.
“I am really shit in apologizing. Always been, always will. But I really never intended to hurt you. I really didn’t know about your life before I met you, Cassian. No one ever told me. I would have never said what I said if I would have known. And I am so, so sorry. I wish I could take the words back somehow”, she whispered, her hands twisting.
He just looked at her, letting her see the hurt, the desperation, the recognition in his eyes.
“You were right anyway”, he murmured. “I shouldn’t let myself falling in love with you. I do not deserve you. Not if you consider who I am. And I was a fool for allowing me to think otherwise.”
It was the hurt in his voice, the acceptance of his defeat, which made Nesta raise her hand, taking his into hers.
“You are wrong, Cassian. So, so wrong”, she
forced out, with such belief in her voice that she just hoped that he would believe
her. You are funny and selfless and amazing and loving. You take care of your
friends, you throw yourself into the line of fire without caring that you could
get hurt as lang as everyone else is safe. Hell, you would die for every single
one of your friends, every single person in this city, probably even for the
ones that hate you. You are one of the best persons I have ever met. Maybe even
the best one. You deserve to be happy, you deserve to everything in this world.”
Her words tingled through the room, replacing the silence, hanging in between them.
His gaze kept her captured.
“Does that mean that I might have a chance to deserve you?”, he murmured, still starring at her, still not quiet believing his words.
“Always”, Nesta whispered through the silence. Just one word, but a word full of belief, full of truth. Because she would do everything from this single moment to convince Cassian that he was worth every dearest thing in the world. And if he needed a reminder of that every single day, she was more than happy to give it to him. Again and again and again.
Cassian looked at her as if she was the most precious thing he ever saw and when he shifted forward this time, gently cupping her face, Nesta didn’t move away. She took all of her insecurity, all of her fear and let it disappear, knowing that he would not hurt her, knowing that not being with him hurt a lot more than not being.
His hands lingered on her waist, gently pulling her nearer and nearer, until there was nothing between them anymore. Until not even air itself could break them apart.
She could feel his breath on her mouth, making her tremble and then, finally, ultimately, his lips crashed against hers.
The kiss was hard and fierce and passionate, loving and gently, slow and fast at the same time, but most importantly it was full of unspoken love.
They might be like fire and ice but together they were able to crash down the world.
Nesta and Cassian one-shot, 4.9k words
The other day @darklove9314-blog asked if there are any Nessian pregnancy fics and I remember thinking well yes I read a great one just the other day, but also, a fun new project for me? So I wrote this. Also, I have decided to begin finishing up half finished or almost finished fics so this is one that I can happily say is leaving the drafts box.
And please let me know if you’d like to be added or removed to my tag list.
Warnings: Blood, Violence
It was scandalous.
That’s the first thing Nesta can think of. The entire situation is scandalous and if she were still a human woman, she’d be ostracized from high society. Not that she would have cared what other people thought of her. Especially not in that behemoth they called a home bought for them to keep their pretty silence from the High Lord who’d caged her sister. Nesta would have lived her human life in scandal without batting an eye given how wealthy she had been.
I honestly can imagine Cassian being speechless after seeing Nesta waltz and complimenting her for hours, thinking (OR TELLING HER) about how beautiful and talented she is and how he didn’t know she could dance so well. And it would make Nesta blush and mutter a little “thank you”.
THIS SCENE IS LIVING RENT FREE IN MY MIND.
Please somebody write a one-shot like this. I NEED IT.
A/N: A silly little one-shot I put together from a long time ago, that I never got around to finishing. But hey, it’s the new year. It’s a new me. We finish all of our untouched drafts from now on is my resolution.
I feel like, especially when Feyre was undercover spy mode at the Spring Court, and during the war in ACOWAR, there are so many Nessian scenes that are missed because we only have 1 pov. So I made this one up bc I feel like Nesta and Cassian were not just friendly and bantering and suddenly a love confession popped up at the end. I feel like there was definitely some progression, something, anything, so I’m over here trying to do that justice. And its my HC that if Feyre has freckles, Nesta might too.
Warnings: Mentions/ references of violence, war, assault and some aHEM pg-17 Nessian.
Not smutty but like…not not smutty either ;)
Tagging (anyone on my tag list for A Court of Witches and Warriors): @bookstantrash @greerlunna @vasudharaghavan @cassianscool @queenestarcheron @queenofbloodshed @sayosdreams @allilal @sjm-things @perseusannabeth @courtofjurdan
Let me know if you would like to be added or removed to my tag list!
Nesta did not leave Elain’s side, even after her crying had subsided. It was close to evening now, Nesta assumed, as she hadn’t left her sister’s tent for hours since the meeting with Grayson had imploded.
She likely would have killed Grayson for his filthy words to Elain. She had a half a mind to go back and finish the job anyways just by seeing how broken Elain had become, in a manner of minutes after seeing him. Any progress, any at all, had been obliterated by that foolish man she had loved so.
Still loved. Perhaps Elain was just as much a fool as her ex-fiance.
When her breathing evened out, Nesta quickly covered her up to the neck in the generous blankets they had been given, and opened the tent flap to leave.
And there he was, waiting for her.