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thewayshedreamed · 8 months

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Somewhere, Part 22

Cassian POV

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a/n: How has it been this long since I've updated? 😅 I've missed these two a ton lately, and I'm excited to finally share their next chapter! I'm also excited because I've been looking forward to the NEXT chapter for quite some time, and the inspiration for that one has been extra high lately 👀👀

If you want to re-read to get a refresher or need to catch up, I put the link below!

Cassian welcomes us back for this update! Hope y'all enjoy!

>> Somewhere masterlist >>fanfic masterlist

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Hanging out with Feyre was long overdue, and despite the exhaustion settling into Cassian’s bones, he was looking forward to it. She always made tea the way he liked it— something they had in common— and after such a long day, he could use a cup to help keep his eyes open until a proper bedtime.

The door was unlocked when he approached the house, and Cassian chuckled at how his brother would no doubt react to that small fact. Nevermind that Feyre did it with Cassian in mind. His overprotective little brother was likely to have a heart attack if he knew she was so flippant with her safety while he was out of town on business. The secret was safe with Cassian, if only to spare Feyre the mild lecture for the millionth time.

“Hey Fey,” he called, wiping his shoes on the small rug.

His keys made a loud clang in the metal bowl on the entryway table, and Cassian scowled at the jarring sound as if he hadn’t been ultimately responsible. His fatigue was making him grouchy.

“Cass!” Feyre came around the corner beaming and wrapped him in a tight hug. She had always been like a baby sister to him, even in the earliest days of her relationship with Rhysand. Something had made sense between them, and Cassian loved her fiercely.

Squeezing her back with equal enthusiasm, Cassian pressed a kiss to her hair and smiled. “Lonely already?” he teased. “Rhysand only left yesterday.”

Feyre scoffed and pulled away, leading him to the small table off the side of the kitchen. Tea was already steaming in a cast iron kettle in the middle and small pastries were stacked nearby. Cassian’s mouth watered at the sight.

“I’ve hardly had time to be lonely,” she mused, and affection dripped from every word. “You know he’s called with every spare moment.”

“I figured as much. This looks great, by the way.”

“Thanks.” Feyre smiled and gestured toward one of the chairs. Cassian complied— mostly because he knew better than to challenge an Archeron in their own home— and leaned forward on his elbows to bend his neck in a stretch.

A cup of tea appeared in his field of vision, and he winked at Feyre in gratitude. She was poised across from him, her attention sliding to the garden through the window, and the sun illuminating her elegant profile. They sipped in silence for a couple of moments, content in each other’s comfortable, steady company.

Cassian was the first to break the silence, a role he served more often than not. “Have you made much progress on the pieces for your next exhibit with Rhysand being out of town?”

“Some. I haven’t hit much of a stride yet, and that’s daunting considering it’s only a couple of months away.”

Feyre wrapped her hands around her mug and rounded her shoulders as if the admission had cost her something. Whatever the case, Cassian didn’t care to see her stressed.

“You’ll get it,” he assured her. “You always do.” A small smile stretched across her face, and his chest felt a little lighter than before. The joke rolled off his tongue before he could think better of it. “Worst case, I’ll model for you.”

That earned an actual laugh. “I’ll keep that in mind,” she said, her eyes sparkling, “should I get desperate.”

“We’ll pray it doesn’t come to that.”

They laughed together before turning their focus back to their tea. Cassian took the opportunity to snack on a small scone, which he was pretty sure was meant for children by the looks of it. He said as much, and Feyre rolled her eyes. It was an expression so like Nesta that longing threatened to choke him.

“What about you?” Feyre asked, interrupting his thoughts. “You said you had something to run by me?”

Damn, he’d forgotten he planted that seed when they made plans earlier in the day. The promotion Helion offered was eating him alive, and he needed a sounding board. While that was still true, he hadn’t been tired down to his bones when he’d originally brought it up.

“Yeah, sort of.” He leaned back in his chair and twisted to rest his elbow over the back. “It’s more that I have some things to work through out loud, and I think you could help with pros and cons.”

Feyre’s brows came together over the rim on her mug. With a nod, she placed her tea atop the table and gave him her full, undivided attention. His chest felt tighter than he’d anticipated, but he’d learned to push through uncertainty many moons ago.

“I got offered a promotion,” he began, each word leaving him through an exhale.

“Why do you say that as if it’s tragic?”

A smirk tugged at the edge of Cassian’s mouth. “It’s not tragic, and if I’m honest, I deserve it.”

“So humble.”

He winked in acknowledgement of Feyre’s ribbing. She wasn’t nearly as cutthroat as Nesta in her banter, but she did well enough if Cassian’s soft spot for her was any indication.

“Helion gave me some time to decide, but I need to get back to him soon. There’s not a position to compare it to, and with Nesta and me trying to work things out, I worry about how much of my time it’ll take up.”

Feyre was quiet for a beat too long, enough for Cassian’s lower back to bead with sweat. Stoicism wasn’t something he typically associated with Feyre, but he didn’t regret his limited experience with it.

“Have you told Nesta about it?”

He took a breath. “Yeah. She was supportive, but things are still new. I don’t know if she would try and sway me either way.”

“True,” Feyre replied, taking another long sip of her tea. “Although, if we’re being fair, Nesta will understand putting yourself first.”

Cassian must have failed at keeping his expression placid with how Feyre’s eyes tracked every angle of his face. “Fey, don’t.”

“I didn’t mean—”

“I came here because I thought I wouldn’t have to defend Nesta to you, of all people.”

Silence fell. Hurt flashed over Feyre’s face, her blue eyes round, and Cassian hated himself for hurting her. Defending Nesta wasn’t something he could apologize for, though.

“That’s not what I meant.” Her voice was brittle, soft. “Nesta is practical, and she would understand the value of advancing your career in these early stages of your relationship. She won’t expect you to uproot your routine— your life— simply because you decided to work things out together.”

His eyes eased shut, and he took a measured breath. “I’m sorry.”

Feyre nodded, and the tension seemed to evaporate with the simple gesture. “Not everyone has been receptive, and I can respect you having Nesta’s back. She has too few in her corner as it is.”

Emotion gathered in his throat, and he swallowed against it. “Yeah,” he rasped. “Can I tell you something, just between the two of us for now?”

“Sure. As long as you’re not asking me to lie to Rhys.”

“Nah, not exactly.” Feyre gave him a pointed look, and he raised his hands in placation. “I only ask that you not tell him before I get a chance, but if he suspects anything, I don’t expect you to lie.”

Feyre nodded, but her brow remained furrowed.

“The timing of all this isn’t great, and I don’t know how to talk to Nesta about it,” he admitted. His shoulders relaxed for the first time in minutes. He had greatly underestimated the relief that would come with such a simple admission. “I know where I stand, but I’m trying to let Nesta settle in to all this. With us.”

He paused to assess Feyre’s expression, but she wasn’t giving much away for free. To her credit, Cassian hadn’t exactly spelled things out. He fixed his attention to his palm, using the thumb of his other hand to trace circles around his calluses.

“We talked about what happens if we see this working out long-term. We can’t live thousands of miles apart forever.”

“Well, yeah. Makes sense.”

Cassian cleared his throat. “Nesta isn’t in a place to come back to Velaris, at least not right now. Before Helion talked to me about this job, I’d already told Nesta I would move. To give us a fair shot.”

Feyre’s eyes flared in surprise, but she blinked it away. “And you think it’s too soon.”

“Isn’t it?”

Her laugh was affectionate. “Cass, you and Nesta are already years in the making.”

“Sure, but…” he trailed off, gathering his words. “We agreed to give it time, but I don’t know what she’s comfortable with before deciding to take the next step. What if I turn down the job, and I end up here for at least another year? Or, what if I take it, and I have to quit in three months? I hate the idea of putting anyone in a bind, but Nesta would come first.”

Feyre observed him, her shoulders rounding toward him as if compelled to pull him into a hug. “Cass,” she murmured, “you have to talk to her.”

“That’s what I was afraid of,” he joked, leaning back in his chair. He felt raw after such a display of vulnerability, and he craved the levity he was known to bring to any situation. “I don’t want the pressure to freak her out.”

“It’s a risk you take. But she’s the only person who is in this with you and whose opinion really matters. If you’re both committed to this, a simple conversation shouldn’t derail everything. If it does, that’s another issue. I’m not saying it’ll be fun, but it’s necessary.”

Cassian groaned, dragging his hands over his stubbled cheeks. “I know that. You’re supposed to lie to me.”

Feyre’s head dropped back as she laughed, and it was so contagious that it managed to drag a chuckle from beneath the weight of Cassian’s ribs.

“You know, as quick as you are to defend Nesta, maybe it’s worth giving her a little more credit yourself,” Feyre said, her tone soft.

The truth of it hit him full force. He spent so much time preparing for war in Nesta’s honor that he failed to see how his own insecurities sold her short. It was hardly fair to assume the worst in her when he expected the opposite from anyone else. It hadn’t been intentional, but the way his hang-ups exerted influence over his assumptions exposed some lingering scar tissue stretched across his ego.

Cassian nodded and focused on his tea. Feyre had given him more than his fair share to think about, including his unresolved issues and how to shield Nesta from the aftermath.

“So, you’re leaving us, then?” The playfulness in her question was the life preserver he’d needed, and he shamelessly accepted the shift in tone.

“As soon as possible,” he said, deadpan. “Can’t wait, really.”

Feyre chuckled and rolled her eyes. “Liar. You’ll miss us the second you leave.”

Cassian responded with a tight, subtle shake of his head and punctuated it with a wink. His impish denial earned another laugh from Feyre, and his heart felt lighter in the way it usually did when he made his loved ones feel at ease.

A beat of silence passed, and then, “You really love her.”

“Yeah?” Cassian asked, barely suppressing a laugh. “What gave it away?”

A scone flew across the table and hit him square in the chest. He caught it just before it landed on the table and ate half in a single bite, staring at Feyre as if he hadn’t deserved her brutality.

“Don’t be cute, Cassian,” Feyre chided. “I don’t know… I stayed conflicted about you two a couple of years ago. I’ve never seen people who brought each other alive like you and Nesta did, but it always seemed to come at a price.”

Cassian nodded, overly invested in assessing the angle of his next bite. What was he supposed to say to that, anyway?

“Part of me wanted to be relieved when you split up, but you were both miserable,” she continued, another punch to the stomach. “After watching the two of you claw your ways back to yourselves over the last couple of years, it was hard to settle into the idea that things would all snap into place now.”

His fingers drummed a mindless rhythm on the table, the quiet thudding sound keeping his pulse in check. “Well, for what it’s worth, nothing has snapped into place.”

Feyre waited until his eyes met hers again to speak, her brows furrowed. “But I thought—”

“Everything is okay,” Cassian amended, maybe too quickly. It was the truth, but something about being under the microscope made him jumpy and a little defensive. “I just meant that it didn’t happen that way. Nesta and I…” he trailed off, trying to find his words in the ether and settling for the lame ones he found first. “We didn’t have a clean break a couple of years back.”

“So, you two have tried getting back together before?”

A huff of wry amusement left him before he could stop it. “I wouldn’t say that.”

At Feyre’s incredulous stare, he elaborated as much as he dared without sharing all the skeletons in his and Nesta’s closet. He hit the high points of their chronic push and pull. Their weakness and loose details of their misdeeds towards other partners in the name of whatever they hoped to resuscitate between them, no matter how little time they could have had.

“Gods,” Feyre muttered, draining the rest of her tea and setting the cup down heavily. “I had no idea.”

“No one did, except Nesta and me. Azriel suspected at times because he knew how much Nesta always got under my skin, but I was a vault on any of the details.”

“I guess it’s no one’s business, really.”

Cassian raised his brows in silent agreement and leaned back in his chair, stretched his arms one at a time across his chest to relieve some of the tension between his shoulder blades. That familiar pressure was building again, the one that seeped into Cassian’s bones and compelled him to redirect the conversation to less turbulent territory. If not for himself, to bring a smile and an ease back to his sister-in-law, who really had no reason to carry the burden of his past.

“Maybe keep your day job, Fey,” he teased, hoping his impulse didn’t interfere with his mark. “I don’t think your powers of deduction are going to pay the bills.”

She laughed, long and loud, and pride filled his chest to bursting. Feyre was still his ally, it would seem, and the future felt a fraction less daunting with her in their corner.

His tone shifted, suddenly thick with emotion that was a surprise to him as much as Feyre. “I’ve loved Nesta since the night we spent in that cabin. Years ago, now,” he rasped. Feyre’s eyes softened, and she reached across the table for his hand. He let her take it. “Nothing’s been the same since.”

The confession gutted him and eased a tension he’d been carrying for far too long in equal measure. Cassian wondered how he’d managed to keep it all contained to that point, but the realization hit him that he hadn’t. Not really.

Anyone who knew him well knew something chaotic and unyielding had always brewed beneath the surface of his self-control— that most of his conscious effort went toward burning off the constant unsteadiness in his veins. All to avoid a host of bad decisions along the path of shameless self-destruction. The way he carried the weight of his family members’ happiness on his shoulders, the energy he brought to his job and making himself indispensable. Making decisions for others, especially ones that protected them, had never been a challenge for Cassian, as he loved nothing more than to take care of anyone who needed it. The challenge had always been in making decisions that served him when it all came down to it, and he’d never been able to do that without the threat of impact to someone else. Not even that had been enough to keep him away from Nesta over the years, no matter the fallout.

Amren had been right when she’d finally laid it all out, but he would take that small fact to the damned grave. Cruel and unusual torture wouldn’t be enough to risk her smugness for the following millennium.

Feyre ended the prolonged silence, shattering the fragile bits of his impromptu soul search. It was probably for the best, he decided.

“It makes sense, you know,” she said, her voice hushed. “No one loves like you do, Cassian.” A lump formed in his throat, and he offered her a nod in thanks. He didn’t trust the emotions that would come spilling out if he deigned to open his mouth. “And I don’t think anyone feels quite like Nesta, either.”

All good things, he thought, if the individuals in question were healthy and settled. A disaster, if they weren’t. The path his thoughts had taken only moments before indicated that he was a long way from perfect, but Cassian realized with such a small revelation that he and Nesta weren’t damned to everything they’d been through before. Not when they’d both done the work on themselves, albeit incomplete. The game changer was in the choice, and the commitment to that growth and each other.

A weight heavier than he’d thought himself capable of carrying for so many years eased from his shoulders. Not everything, of course, but sometimes, all it took was a moment that offered a little bit of hope.

—

To Feyre’s credit, Nesta had been entirely receptive to Cassian’s perceived dilemma. He’d decided to rip off the proverbial bandaid that very evening, and if he was thankful for anything, it was the fact that he’d opted to untangle his thoughts with his sister-in-law before he’d made the potential mistake of word-vomiting all over Nesta.

He had carefully laid out his pros and cons of taking the promotion— making sure to include the items pertaining to life overall, as well as the implications for their future. Nesta was patient and had pointed out several additional considerations he’d yet to think of, and as it turned out, the two of them made a pretty solid team when they got out of their own way enough to work together through life’s hurdles.

For all her assistance in building both cases, Nesta’s stance on the matter had been straight forward and rather simple if Cassian allowed himself to acknowledge it.

“The thing is,” she’d said, “you need to do what makes the most sense for you right now. Not the Cassian 6 months from now, the Cassian a year from now, or Cassian from yesterday.”

It had been a particularly sobering realization, since Cassian’s usual method involved trying to control for every possible angle, but Nesta had gotten them straight to the heart of the matter. A former version of himself itched to take her position personally, to assume that her bluntness was some kind of directly proportional measure of how little she cared to have him closer. Still a work in progress, but Cassian was pleased that silencing that maladaptive voice in his head got easier every time he did it, and life was offering him plenty of practice.

His commitment to self-advocacy had paid off in his meeting with Helion, and he’d come away with several accommodations that he wasn’t sure they would have agreed to make. Now, days later, he dragged his heavy, sleep-deprived body up the stairs to his apartment— the only way he’d made peace with skipping his workout that day— after another long day at the office. Somehow, he was juggling his usual duties while trying to learn the new ones. His replacement couldn’t start soon enough.

The door shut heavily in his already-dark entryway, his keys landing on the small table near the door by sheer muscle memory. Cassian leaned against the shut door and eased his eyes closed, but his phone vibrated rudely almost immediately. With a groan, he shoved his hand into his pocket and hauled his phone into view. The shift in his mood at seeing Nesta’s name nearly gave him whiplash.

“Hey, Sweetheart.”

He flipped the light switch, muttering a soft curse at the sudden brightness. The assault on his vision was worth it to hear the low, melodic chuckle that came shortly after.

“Hey,” she said, her smile still evident. “Long day?”

Another groan. A rough, calloused hand over the stubble on his cheek. “Yep. Anymore of this, and my brain is going to melt.”

“That feels dramatic.”

Cassian huffed a laugh, tucking his phone against his shoulder and working the buttons on his shirt. “Doesn’t make it less true. Why are you awake?”

The time difference made their nighttime phone calls a luxury. Cassian worried all the time that Nesta didn’t rest enough, but the balance was a delicate one with voicing that concern.

“Missed you,” she said simply, as if it didn’t still rock Cassian to hear Nesta admit such intimacy. “I got in late tonight anyway because I had dinner with Claire. And I made the mistake of picking up my book once I got home.”

“You should set a timer.”

Nesta scoffed. “That’s not how it works.”

He understood the way Nesta lost herself in whatever she read, had witnessed it countless times. Hours passed sometimes before Nesta’s head would lift, her eyes bleary, and she would start the task of re-orienting to the present.

“Yeah, yeah,” he dismissed, smiling at how he knew she would bristle. “How was dinner?”

She took a long, deep breath. “It was good. We were overdue for a catch-up.”

Cassian paused to throw his shirt into the laundry basket and traded his pants for some athletic shorts. With little grace, he threw himself onto his bed, his face buried in his pillow.

“How’s she doing?” he asked, propping on an elbow.

“Good.” Her response was almost too swift, but it felt haunted all the same. “Really good.”

“That’s good.” Cassian cringed. Usually, if the word “good” entered a conversation any number of times in rapid succession, things were quite the opposite. His response felt awkward and uninspired, but he couldn’t put a finger on why. His intuition with Nesta was solid usually, but distance complicated even the things that came most naturally. A lesson he continued to learn.

“She mentioned a promotion.” Nesta sounded detached from the information she shared, and Cassian offered her the time to work through it without comment. “She deserves it. She’s wanted it for a long time and has been passed over several times now. I’m happy for her.”

Cassian considered his words, his mouth opening and slamming shut a couple of times before he landed on, “Why don’t you sound happy?”

“I am,” she insisted, her voice adamant. “I really am… I just…” Cassian let her words linger, afraid that if he made any sudden moves that Nesta may refrain from elaborating. “Some days it feels like I’ve been stuck in place for months while the rest of the world kept moving all around me.”

A grimace pulled at the edges of his mouth. Nesta had done so much work to heal over the months, and while Cassian knew she was moving mountains in their own right, he understood where she was coming from. He and Claire— two people close to Nesta whose lives hadn’t been immeasurably disrupted by recent events — were moving forward in their goals, and Nesta still consistently mentioned how she felt like she would be trying to catch up from her time off in perpetuity.

“I’m sorry, Nes,” he murmured, his voice rough.

“Nothing to be sorry for.” A forced casualness floated along her words, and he hated them for the mask they were. A deep breath in, a deep breath out, and then, “Nothing is set in stone as of now, but it would mean a relocation for Claire. And honestly, I’m not ready to face that yet… the possibility of being here alone all over again.”

Cassian nearly choked on a curse. The thought of Nesta feeling like it was her alone against the world made his chest ache with the need to pull her against him. To press a kiss to her temple and remind her who she was— that, despite being perfectly capable on her own to handle anything life threw her way, she was never fighting alone as long as Cassian was alive.

“I wish there was something I could do.”

Nesta allowed herself a soft laugh, and Cassian’s breath came a little easier, albeit not much. “I know you would if you could.”

“In a heartbeat,” he assured her. “Look, I know the timing isn’t great, but I don’t know— maybe we can talk about our timeline again. Maybe move it up.”

“Cass, absolutely not.” Her tone left no room for discussion, and Cassian felt his eyebrow quirk up as if he’d been challenged. Before he could argue in spite of her silent warning, Nesta’s voice softened. “Not that I don’t want you here. I appreciate that you would, but I won’t be that person that you feel the need to swoop in and save. I’ll be okay.”

His eyes eased shut. How was he supposed to argue with that?

“I know you will.”

An almost-comfortable silence fell over them for a few minutes until Cassian realized that part of their conversation was effectively over. Searching for lighter territory, he cleared his throat.

“Three more sleeps until I see you.”

Her laugh was the reward he’d wanted. Anything to know he’d put a smile on her face. “Most people countdown in days.”

“Mm,” he replied, seemingly unimpressed, but his smile came through anyway. “I’m not most people.”

“Isn’t that the truth?”

“I’m not sure if I should take offense to that.”

Nesta was quiet, and Cassian pictured the way her teeth sank into her lower lip when she fought a smile. Then, because he felt indulgent, he thought of the way he would trace her mouth with his thumb, how her eyes went round when he tipped her chin up.

“No,” she almost whispered. “It’s a good thing.”

Rolling over to his back, he ran a hand through his wild hair and groaned at his mental to-do list.

“Shit. I still need to pack.”

“I have some of your stuff here,” she reminded him. “A toothbrush, shampoo, body wash. All you need is clothes and shoes.”

“That helps. Still have to do my laundry first.”

Nesta hummed her understanding. “Well, if our schedules line up, I’ll keep you busy while you wait for the machine to finish.”

The lazy drawl of his words was courtesy of the many images her promise inspired. “I like the way your brain works, Sweetheart.”

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#nessian #acotar fanfic #nesta x cassian #cassian #nesta archeron #somewhere au #somewhere toxic au #twsd fics #twsd writes

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moodymelanist · 1 year

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Can't Help It Chapter Five

I'm honestly very relieved to be done with this fic because the demand for updates was so overwhelming even after I repeatedly asked people to chill about it. Hope this conclusion is satisfying and for the love of god please never ask me about this fic again LOL

Warnings: Toxic Relationship

Word Count: ~4.1k

@nestaarcheronweek

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Nesta

Nesta wasn’t quite sure how she’d ended up in this position, but the moment Eris left, it seemed like whatever fragile peace she’d managed to make with Cassian had crumbled instantly.

“Because if the only time I get to have you is when I’m about to fuck you, then of course I’m not going to have a problem with it!” Cassian exploded, his voice impossibly loud. He threw the sheet off him and got off the bed altogether, and she wanted to reach for him so badly but she didn’t know how he would react. “Just sex, right?”

“Cassian,” Nesta tried to interrupt, but he was on a roll now.

“Don’t Cassian me,” he snapped, his eyebrow scar even more pronounced from how deeply he was scowling. “I just– I’m tired of doing this dance with you, hoping and praying that maybe you’ll come to your fucking senses, but how much am I expected to put up with here? You won’t be honest with me, and you damn sure aren’t being honest with yourself, but Gods forbid I go too far and you don’t have anyone to fuck when the mood strikes, right?”

The sudden silence of the room was shocking. She didn’t know what to say, she never knew what to say, and what if he really left her for good this time–

“I’m tired of setting myself up to get my heart broken, Nesta,” he eventually said, his voice cracking at the decrease in volume. He turned his face away from her, but it wasn’t fast enough to hide the flicker of hurt. “I’m just tired.”

Keep reading on AO3 here!

#acotar #acosf #nestaweek2022 #nessian #nesta archeron #cassian #can't help it #toxic!nessian au #moodymelanistwrites

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whitedemon-ladydeath · 6 months

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New Blog Bio:

I do not tolerate pro-israel, zionist shit anywhere near me. I don't tolerate anti semitism anywhere near me. I will not tolerate anyone who is upholding or supporting the ethnic cleansing and genocide of the Palestinians. if you do, BLOCK ME

if ur gonna follow or interact with my blog pls realize I am very critical towards most acotar content, especially if it involves Rhysand. I am more-or-less a Rhys Anti until further notice and I am hard-core side eye towards Cassian until Rhysand is held accountable for being a shitty person for more than like *checks notes* two pages

I'm not a Tamlin Stan, nor do I particularly care for him, but I have been engaging in thoughtful criticisms of his actions often which involves character analysis so you v likely will see that pop up every now and then

likely you will find:

anti Rhysand

anti/critical IC

anti/critical/pro feyre

anti/critical Cassian posts, maybe MAYBE pro cassian

critical/pro Azriel- I'm pretty neutral towards him

anti/critical/pro elain content [often. w/o being tied to a ship]

pro Lucien

pro Nesta

pro Eris

most pro tog characters

anti/critical chaol (he just annoys me with his high horse)

Pro Ships:

Azriel/Eris/Nesta

Tamsand (lmao)

Feylin [book one]

Elucien

Nesta/Lucien [idk the ship name]

Feycien

Feyssian

Mesta

most tog ships

aelin/manon

malide

chaorian

Anti Ships:

Nessian

Feysand

Elriel

lysaedion

chaolena

My Specific ACoTaR Meta:

SJM + Eugenics + Ableism in her Writing

CoN + the Eternal Perpetuation of Abuse and Toxicity

SJM and the vilification of Ireland in acotar and tog

SJM could have had the HLs give their power to resurrect her wo Rhys forcing them if she played by Faerie Rules

Rhys physically assaulted Nesta

Class Warfare + Class Traitors in ACoTaR

Rhysand + Morally Grey Behavior

My Meta / Aus / etc Posts

tag -> #justice for poor cassian and poor archeron Sisters

tag -> #glasses!elain propaganda

tag -> #slavic archeron Sisters au

tag -> #fix cassians characterization challenge

tag -> #scottish!tamlin

tag -> #welsh!rhys

tag -> #disabled!Cassian

tag -> #my acotar world building

tag -> #appropriated faerie lore in acotar

tag -> #hybern Ireland

tag -> #white feminism in acotar

tag -> #eugenics in acotar

tag -> #eugenics in tog

tag -> #classism in acotar

Other Acotar Meta:

Mor SA'd Cassian

tag -> #acotar tiktok meta

tag -> #acotar meta

tag -> #racism in acotar

tag -> #Nesta is not an alcoholic send tweet

Other:

A Synopsis of The Ballad of Tam Lin

If You're interested:

Mission to have my own Bookstore:

tag -> #mission: cheshire books

TVDverse:

leave season 1 Caroline ALONE. she deserved better 🥺

Damon and Rose's Friendship that is ALL

Esther is Mikaels victim too stop this irritating 'Esther is the real villain'

tag -> #can we stop the overt vilification of Esther Mikaelson and the UwUization of Mikael Mikaelson

tag -> #tvd tiktok edits

tag -> #Damon Salvatore

tag -> #Caroline Forbes

tag -> #Vincent Griffith

tag -> #Shelia Bennett

Shadow and Bone / Six of Crows:

The Darkling Meta

tag -> #David kostyk

Once Upon a Time

tag -> #cora mills

The Hunger Games / A Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes:

Coriolanus Snow Meta

tag -> #thg tiktok meta

tag -> #coriolanus snow

tag -> #reaper ash

tag -> #wovey

Percy Jackson

tag -> #nico di Angelo

completely irrelevant:

tag -> #rural iowa

more to be added!

#acotar #a court of thorns and roses #throne of glass #nesta archeron #anti rhysand #sjm critical #elain archeron #feyre archeron #lucien vanserra #anti cassian #aelin ashryver #aelin critical #rowan whitethorn #Rowan critical #manon blackbeak #manorian #malide #anti chaol #dorian havilliard

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labellefleur-sauvage · 6 months

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hello! i hope you're doing well and i just wanted to say that i love all of your work! you have such a beautiful way with words and insane talent <333

i was also wondering whether you'd be up for writing something torturously heartbreaking for nessian??? i know it would never happen bc they're obsessed with each other and there would never be anyone else but i think a cheating thing would be interesting to read 😭 like if cassian cheats? or then (although they are going to live ETERNALLY TOGETHER), maybe something where one of them dies? like cassian's reaction to nesta's death or vice versa?

much love to you!!! 🩷🩷🩷

This is so so kind, thank you so much!

I will be the first to admit: I am a huge wimp. A big baby. I cannot handle too much angst or sadness in books, fics, any media, frankly. At this time, I don’t see myself writing anything angsty or toxic for any couple, unless there was some massive twist or misunderstanding involved.

BUT I fully understand most people don’t feel the same as me and want those angsty, toxic feels. I asked some of my Nessian friends for fic recs and this is what they gave me!

Can’t Help It by @moodymelanist. Honestly, her entire Nessian catalog is impressive and wonderful so here’s her entire Nessian masterlist. Also worth mentioning Paint It Red, especially if you’re in the mood for major character death.

Daughterofthesea on AO3 has some soft and angsty fics.

Also on AO3, theteaqueen is also very good for Nessian angst

Wonderland by @c-e-d-dreamer in which Nesta breaks the mating bond with Cassian

Somewhere by @thewayshedreamed for an ongoing toxic Modern AU

Finally, It Looks as Though You’re Letting Go by @xtaketwox. An ongoing soulmates AU fic tagged as “you’re going to suffer but you’re going to be happy about it” on AO3.

If I missed anyone or anyone else has fic recommendations or wants to shout out their own works, please feel free to comment and reblog!

#i hope this is ok anon!#i am truly the worst person to ask for anything besides a brief chapter of angst #i cry looking at pics of pets at my local humane society #i do not have the emotional capability to handle anything toxic or angsty or super mean #fic recs #nessian fics #nessian fic recs

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darklove9314-blog · 1 year

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All Fanfic Projects and An Announcement for Some of My New Ones

So as most of my followers know I love writing fanfiction and I’ve been obsessed with writing primarily ACOTAR fanfiction. Well I thought it would be fun today to announce all my projects and my future ones that are now in the works as well. Spoilers for SJM Books.

Current WIP That are Now Published on A03:

-Symphonia (Nessian family fic/ACOTAR Next Gen Fic)

-The Song in the Shodaws (Gwynriel fic)

-Fire on Fire (Nessian Forbidden Romance Fic. This will be where I will post updates for my Nessian Forbidden romace story I started on Tumblr)

-She is the Sunlight (Jesminda and Lucien’s love Story)

-Hearts Set Aflame (A Nessian fanfic where Nesta and Cassian are sent to the Illyrian mountains to keep Nesta safe from the queen. This is also a ACOSF Rewrite of sorts.)

-Toxic Queen (A Nessian AU fic where Cassian hates the Archerons for what they did to his family and sets his sights on seducing Nesta to get back at them, but ends up falling for her instead.)

-How Can You Mend A Broken Heart? (A Feyre, Nesta, and Elain centered fanfiction set at the end of ACOWAR where Rhys dies instead of being brought back to life by the High Lords, and the sisters try to find their own ways of coping with all they have lost.)

-As Bright As The Dawn (A Collection of ACOTAR/SJ,M prompts that I mostly post on Tumblr.

-In A Sky of A Thousand Stars (This is what I think will happen in House of Flame and Shadow/ My ACOTAR/CC Crossover)

-Shadow and Flames (This fic is basically a Nesta, Cassian, and Azriel Fic where they partake in Nesta’s fantasy.)

-The Everlasting Spring (An Elucien Fanfic where Elain and Lucien have to work together to not only save the Spring Court, but find out that there is a bigger threat that they hadn’t expected coming.)

Future Fanfics That I’ve Started Working on That The First Chapter will be Released soon.

-Burn for You (A Nessian Fanfic that centers their time together during ACOMAF-Pre ACOSF.)

-Fire and Ice (A Eris centered Fanfic where Eris goes to the Winter Court to try and make allies amongst some of the Winter Court Citizens and finds something unexpected there.)

-The Truth in the Silence (A Fanfic centered around Mor and Emerei’s relationship as well as an emotional healing journey for Mor.)

-Days in the Sun (Helion and The Lady of the Autumn Court’s love story)

A Flame in The Night (An ACOTAR/TOG crossover Fic where Nyx fand Rowaelin;s daughter in order to bring peace amongst their parents two courts are placed in ana arranged marriage)

A Tale of Two Courts (A Rhys/Tamlin centered fic that tells the events of the night that broke them apart and made them despise each other.)

Future fics that are planned, but have no set release yet.

-Wanting was Enough (This Fic is going to be set after the events of Symphonia and will mostly center around Melody as she tries to navigate through the events at the end of Symphonia.)

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nessianweek · 11 months

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✷ Day Four: Alternate Universe ✷

Lady Death: A Nessian Fanfic by @darklove9314-blog

Let Our Hearts, Like Doors, Open Wide Fanart commissioned by @c-e-d-dreamer

Sext in the City Chapter Three and Chapter Four by @headcanonheadcase and @vikingmagic33

Sext in the City Chapter Three Moodboard by @vikingmagic33

Not Even At All - Part Four by @thewayshedreamed

Gothic Nessian by @faeriebambula

Sext in the City Chapter Four Moodboard by @vikingmagic33

Modern Vampire Nessian Moodboard by @faeriebambula

Falling For Your Fools Gold Chapter 1 by @c-e-d-dreamer

Nessian Pirate Fanart commissioned by @c-e-d-dreamer

Figure Skater Nesta/Hockey Player Cassian Moodboard by @vanserrass

We’re Not Monsters - I’m Not A Creep by @talkfantasytome

Chef & Waitress AU Moodboard by @ahkhnn

Toxic!Nessian Moodboard by @moodymelanist

Lost in IKEA by @moodymelanist

#nessianweek2022 #day 4: alternate universe #nessian #nesta archeron #cassian

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kale-theteaqueen · 6 months

Note

Hey! Hey! Hey! Secret Santa here! I’m so excited too!

Are you ready? Let’s get started!

So, I heard you are a huge Nessian shipper. Good, because they are such a power couple!

Few questions, are you okay with Modern AU or canon- verse? Also, what are your favorite tropes? Feel free to add other details you want me to incorporate.

I cannot wait to get started with this!

-Secret Santa ❤️

I'm okay with either! I typically work in canon verse but love a modern au. My favorite tropes are definitely things along the lines of "touch her and die" and/or secret revelations that change everything. I'm happy with angst, fluff, hurt/comfort. I definitely prefer devoted/protective Cassian over asshole/toxic Cassian. I'm really open to anything! My only request is no pregnancy/kid fics on account of personal triggers 🥲🤗

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bookishlilcorner · 2 years

Text

Agents of Night and Starlight - Chapter 1

A Nessian, Gwynriel and Elucien centric fanfic series (with Emorie on the side).

Modern Fantasy!AU, Fantasy action, Fluff, Angst

TW(s): mentions of stalking, dating violence, sexual violence and abuse. Violence, blood and swearing.

Word Count: 6k

I hope you enjoy the first chapter. I edited it over and over again and I hope it’s good enough and it brings you joy reading it.

Sypnosis: In another universe where ACOTAR is set in a modern fantasy world, the Valkyries are an independent group of secret agents composed of Agent Silver, Agent Ghost, Agent Nymph and Agent Ivy walking the streets of Velaris with one goal in mind: to take down the biggest criminals corrupting the City of Starlight. One night, a particularly dark mission causes them to encounter four members of a unit called the IC working under the High Lord and High Lady of the Night Court. Despite being at each other’s throats, the rulers of Night decide to make them work together in order to stop a death lord from raising an army of the undead and launching what could become the bloodiest war in Prythian history. With trainings, missions, secrets revealed, friendships and love at the rendez-vous, they will have to work hard to bring down the death lord threatening the fragile peace in Prythian, that is if they don’t tear each other apart first.

SERIES: Part 1 - Part 2 -

______________________________________________________________

“Silver, do you have a clear view of the target?” A deep, sensually feminine voice echoed in the earpiece.

“Yes, Ghost. He is approaching the dealer as we speak.” She answered, crouched behind a wall.

The skin-tight black leather clothes she always wore were particularly unnerving tonight, and the familiar scent of spray paint coating the wall induced a small headache to her temples. The autumnal rain tonight was annoying. She felt sticky, wet and uncomfortable. She tucked a strand of light brown hair that escaped from her usually perfect braided bun behind her delicately arched ear, synonymously High Fae. She couldn’t wait to get out of here and be in her warm bed reading her romance novel with a piece of chocolate praline cake.

She surveyed the three men discussing in front of the backdoor of a tall building owned by some big do-gooder company for lesser faeries, her gun pointing right at them. It was a simple black customized handgun with silver details of thorns and flames, adapted for a variety of ammunition. Guns were a creation brought to the Fae by humans after the new peace treaty promising peaceful co-existence, protection, trade and alliance. Usually, her gun had bullets made from ash wood, particularly toxic to the Fae, but tonight, she charged it with darts containing a tranquillizer powerful enough to render a Fae unconscious for 4 hours.

“Are you sure you have the right darts this time, Silver?” A sweet, honey-like voice said through the small electronic device in her ear.

“Yes, Ivy’s right. Last time, she didn’t check and shot a Laughter at a Leprechaun. I could barely concentrate on the task without laughing my ass off. You know how hilarious a Leprechaun’s laugh can be.” Another voice, this one mystic, deep and yet so clear like a siren’s, said with a laugh.

Oh, there’s that headache again.

“Since when are there Leprechauns in Velaris, Nymph?” Ghost asked.

“They arrived from the continent two months ago. I told you about it last time at Ivy’s shop. Did you forget? Or were you too busy staring at the beautiful Elvish woman to retain any information?” Nymph answered with a cheeky tone in her voice clearly indicating tease.

Ivy’s sweet laugh echoed in the earpiece, making the crouched female roll her eyes. “Was it an Elf or a High Fae? I swear, we look too much alike.”

“Pretty sure it was an Elf. They got this-”

“Girls, shut the fuck up. I’m trying to aim here and your gossiping is making my headache even worse.” Silver said through clenched teeth.

“Well, that one’s on you. You insisted on having that damned coffee this afternoon. You know that too much caffeine-”

“Gwyn, seriously. Shut up.”

“Nesta! We agreed to use our code names. What if someone hacked into our system?”

“My system? Please. That would take some a prodigy hacker.” Ivy scoffed.

“Elain is getting pretty arrogant.” Ghost laughed. “Three months since your sister joined us and she’s already turned like us, Nesta.”

Nesta rolled her grayish blue eyes, annoyed. “Seriously, we need to focus on our mission. I’m getting tired of crouching here in the cold with sticky clothes. Emerie, do you have eye on anyone suspicious at the charity event?”

“It’s Ghost, by the way.”

“I don’t care.”

Emerie rolled her eyes and looked around the spacious, sumptuous ball room filled with guests, all lesser fairies. They all had formal attire, beautiful dresses and suits fitting the color theme of the occasion: navy blue, gold and white. She herself was dressed for the occasion, and for infiltrating, with a pearly white skin-tight midi dress and gold, Illyrian designed jewelry adorning her brown skin. Her black wings, large, wide and bat-like, characteristic of her Illyrian heritage, were tucked in behind her back. Her hair, smooth and thick, the color of a raven’s feathers, was untied, cascading down to her waist. An all golden headpiece of roses and vines details sat on top of her head, its biggest rose on her forehead.

An Illyrian queen. That’s what she looked like.

She stared at everyone, shaking her head. “No. No one here acting like a homicidal maniac with a thirst for blood. Or illegal weed, in our case.”

“Both works.” Gwyn said.

Elain giggled and Nesta sighed. “Okay, so far it’s good. From what I’m seeing on my side, Silas doesn’t have the detonator yet.”

Silas was the CEO of Stargazers without Borders, a company that specifically protects lesser faeries of Prythian from homelessness, discrimination, mistreatments and attacks. It was well known all across Night Court territory, even to neighboring courts like the Day Court and the Winter Court. He even appeared in the press after meeting the High Lord and High Lady of the Night Court, Rhysand and Feyre, who congratulated and gifted him for his thoughtfulness and desire to stop discrimination and mistreatment of lesser faeries.

However, what was unbeknownst to the citizens was his hideous racism towards lesser faeries and the corruption rotting the company. He never had any intentions of helping them. He was a fraud who stole money from them and manipulated their trusts to build a machine and enough Venenam weed to contaminate the whole population of lesser faeries of Velaris with a deadly disease promising a slow and cruel death. A prototype to an even larger one intended for the whole Night Court. The weed in question, a rare plant that only grows in the Prison Island, was purchased for this occasion. It can cause thickening of blood, narrow air capacity in the lungs and paralysis in the first 10 minutes after exposition and if not treated within thirty minutes, death follows suit.

‘He is trying to kill us all. We can’t turn to the authorities without proof. Help us. Help us expose his plan so that no one gets hurt. We’re sick of this. Our lives keep being threatened again and again. We’re sick of this.’ That was what their client told them in a lengthy email two weeks ago.

‘We’ll make sure he faces justice for his acts.’ Elain had responded after she and Gwyn did a long, extensive research on him, hacking into the company’s mainframe and Silas’s personal electronic devices. They always did some investigating beforehand to make sure the individual in question was indeed a criminal needed to be stopped.

Velaris was considered the best city to live in for lesser faeries in Prythian, but there were still assholes like Silas, who hide their bigotry under smiles and caring behavior.

“Silas is horrible, creating a lethal weapon to get rid of lesser faeries. He’s repulsive.” Elain said as she looked through every cameras of the company’s building from the comfort of the basement of their house. She usually stayed there with her soft violet and light pink pyjamas consisting of a tank top and shorts while the other three went out to do the dirty work. Fighting wasn’t necessarily her forte, but what she couldn’t do in terms of combat was made up by her knowledge of technology, computers. She had the mind of a genius. No one understood computers and network systems as well as she did. Furthermore, she was exceptionally skilled in the arts of poisons. Her passion of gardening opened a path to the meticulous art of crafting poisons ranging from weak to lethal.

The tranquilizer in Silver’s darts were made by her. It was also a great fertilizer for moon lilies.

A quick movement caught Nesta’s eye. “I think he’s getting it right now. I have to be quick.”

She aimed again at the three men in front of her. Silas wore a deep navy suit and a bright metallic gold tie almost matching his curly hair, his arched ears barely peeking through. It looked unnatural, almost plastic. She clicked her tongue in distaste. He looked ridiculous. This guy can’t dress for shit.

Just as he was about to touch the small detonator, she pulled the trigger. Three shots. The sound of their bodies crashing on the cold humid ground echoed like a murmur, easily heard by Faes. They were all instantly lying unconscious, the rain pouring onto their bodies.

She stood up and walked over them, grabbing the detonator. She gave one last look at the blond High Fae and shook her head. She said, her voice laced with disdain: “Mother, he fucking deserves it for dressing up like this. Where did he think he was? A fucking Kids Award ceremony?”

She heard Emerie cough out a laugh.

Nesta looked around. “I guess it’s over for me then. Nymph should have found the machine by now.”

“I did.” Gwyn said, swiftly jumping on the ground from the air vent with no sound. She grinned, her teal eyes promising malice. “It’ll be quick, considering we have the one issue being the detonator solved. I’m going to enjoy destroying this shit to pieces.”

Elain interrupted her. “Hold on. I’m seeing something else.”

“What?”

The sound of fingers pressing in the keyboard echoed through their earpieces. Her dark brown eyes simmered as she muttered, “Of course he did that.”

“Ivy?” Emerie said.

Elain cussed under her breath. Emerie’s eyebrows went up. Rarely did Elain use swear words. It was mostly Nesta and Gwyn who spew out swear words one after the other.

“He put another detonator on the machine itself. A timed one.”

Gwyn, on her side, was in the basement, her dark navy blue leather clothes reflecting the light coming from the machine in front of her. She stared at it, tall enough to reach the ceiling and large enough to fit the whole wall. It glowed a calm azure blue, so strangely at odds to the things it can do. Four large cylinder containers were attached to it, with seafoam green fumes trapped inside. She could tell those drugs were finalized in a vapor formula and, according to the timer on the screen, were five minutes away from being set off in the whole building.

Gwyn sighed. “Of course it had to be me. Remind me why I volunteered myself?”

“You wanted to prove a point.” Nesta said with a smirk, reminiscing the challenge she posed to Gwyn last night. She had always been so competitive.

Gwyn was mostly High Fae, but she was also a river nymph, her grandmother being one herself. Those fumes could be deadly to her, and to Emerie who was in the ballroom with other lesser faeries. She ran a hand through her lovely copper brown hair, tying it up into a ponytail, before reaching for the object attached to her hip. A dagger. Extremely sharp and double-edged, its hilt detailed of stars and waves. Gwyn was an excellent fighter and great at using guns, but knives and daggers were her strength. She had a staggering aim that could put any archer to shame and knew how to maneuver them with the mastery of an ancient warrior.

Walking in front of the machine’s access panel, she asked: “Ivy, tell me which wire to cut to deactivate the detonator.”

While Elain was doing a quick research, Gwyn carefully opened the panel, looking into it. “It should be the blue one.”

“Which blue one? There are three. The deep blue, the teal blue or the sky blue?”

“What the fuck?” Nesta muttered under her breath, getting herself warm inside the entrance porch of the building next to the company.

A long blonde haired waitress came up to her and asked if she had a reservation. She barely noticed that she went in a restaurant. “Oh, I don’t have one. I’m just waiting for my friends here because it’s raining.”

Gwyn and Elain, on their side, were still trying to figure out which wire to cut. “I have three minutes left. Elain?”

A short silence. And then, she said, “The deep blue one. It’s radiating a different vibration. Pretty sure it is the one.”

“Pretty sure?”

“Yes.” A pause. “I think.”

“There’s no ‘I think’. I don’t feel like vomiting blood and having my lungs emptied.” Gwyn retorted, her anxiety rising with every second.

“I’m inclined to agree with Nymph. It’s not tempting.” Emerie said, her bracelets jingling together.

Elain pressed her fingers on the keyboard again. “Yup. It’s that one. Cut it, Nymph. There’s only 1 minute left.”

Quickly, she took her dagger and cut the wire. A few seconds passed. The countdown didn’t stop.

“Shit. We’re fucked.” She cursed. “I can’t believe I’m going out like this.”

Nesta smiled at her dramatics.

“No, shut up.” Elain said. “It’s working.”

Indeed it was, another few seconds and the countdown stopped at 15 seconds. Gwyn and Emerie let out a relieved sigh.

“Great. Now, all I have to do is fill the containers with this…substance?” Gwyn said, lifting the bag of foul-smelling herbs that Elain told Emerie to bring from the mountains near Illyria.

“These herbs are natural neutralizers. It is the only effective solution against Venenam.” Elain said, Emerie agreeing with her as a security guard walked pass her.

A male walked towards her. Tall, long dark hair and piercing gray eyes staring into her brown eyes, his full lips curved into a flirtatious smile as he asked: “Hey, gorgeous.”

She scrutinized him. He looked like a Seraphim, with his soft feathery wings tucked behind his back. He must’ve settled here from the Dawn Court. He looked at her with a cocky grin, standing like those men who think they’re the shit because they're males.

She knew damn well that kind of men.

Looking away, she said indifferently. “No.”

“No?”

“That’s what I said. I’m not interested.”

He stayed silent for a moment. “Your loss. You’re ugly anyways. Men don’t want stuck up women like you.”

He turned around and walked away. Emerie couldn’t help but snort at his words while Nesta was laughing through her earpiece. “I don’t think I have to worry about that.”

“Not him calling you gorgeous and ugly in the space of two minutes. These males are so fucking idiotic. It’s hilarious.” Nesta said.

Emerie laughed, but then a movement crossed her vision. Two security guards went down to the basement, and she swore she saw a flash of guns and a steel staff. She immediately followed them, thankful of having her shorter black leather suit under her dress.

She warned Gwyn, pulling on her mask she hid in her dress. “Shit. Nymph, two guards are coming at you. They have guns and staffs. It might get ugly”

Gwyn, who successfully neutralized the poison and destroyed the machine, stood up, stretched her limbs. Putting her mask on, she reached for her daggers, twirling them around her fingers in both hands.

She grinned behind her black mask. “Finally. Let’s have some fun, shall we?”

The moon was high and radiant in the sky when a tall, solid mass landed on the long grass with a thud. He was standing on the top of a hill and the wind blew gently through his long, thick black hair that reached his neck, the ephemeral scent of rain floating tingling the man’s nose. It had rained earlier in the evening rather vigorously as he could tell by the wet on the grass. He stretched his black, bat-like wings and arms, his leather suit making small noises at the movement. The seven jewels that were attached on his person, a fiery crimson red, glowed slightly under the moonlight. He was exhausted by the flight he’d taken since they winnowed in the continent. It was too risky to winnow directly at the destination. They could have been caught by the enemy.

“Did you need to land that loudly? No wonder you lost the spy job to Shadowsinger.” A warm, almost captivating feminine voice said through the electronic device in his ear.

“I didn’t lose the job to him, Truth, I simply chose not to take it.” He said, his deep masculine voice echoing in the void. “Spying isn’t my style.”

“Yes, because you’re terrible at it.”

A low chuckle resonated following the jab, making the winged man roll his eyes. His friends never failed to make fun of him at the slightest chance.

“Send me a scan of the place, Thunder.” A deep, yet soft masculine voice said.

He tapped the red jewels on his hands, and a small holographic screen in the same, but muted and less opaque color, appeared. He scanned the perimeter, the data transmitted back to the headquarters.

A silence resonated for a short moment, then the same voice said, “Perimeter’s safe. No one else’s around.”

He heard the flapping of wings behind him and turned to stare at the second tall man with wings similar to his own who landed with a softer, quieter thud. His black hair, shorter than his, ruffled against the wind. He was slightly shorter than the first man, but still an impressive height nonetheless. His wings were tucked behind his back, leaving parts of his face illuminated by the moonlight, showing off his handsomely sharp angular features. He wore a leather garment with seven jewels similar to his own, but instead of the fiery red, his were a calmer cobalt blue. Shapeless moving darkness floated around him, like living shadows, as he put their friend down on the ground.

The woman beside him was holding his arm as she stepped out of his arms into the long, wet grass. Her long blonde hair, almost platinum under the glow of the moon, waved as the wind blew, revealing her arched ears. Neither of the two men had arched ears as they were no High Faes, but Illyrians. Her black leather clad legs rubbed together as she stood up beside the man who landed with her.

Her brown eyes gleamed with tease as she assessed the red jeweled Illyrian in front of her. “Didn’t bother tying your hair up like the usual?”

He pointedly ignored her. “Why were you late?”

“Smartass over here-” The winged man beside her said half-heartily as the woman protested, “-dropped her earring in the middle of her monologue while we were flying so I had to land to get it back.”

“I wasn’t- I was telling you to be careful this time because the last mission, you injured yourself. You had to stay in bed for a week.”

“Exactly. Monologue.”

The blonde Fae sighed, exasperated. “How about the next time you’re trying to get yourself killed, do me a favor and let me do the killing, Shadowsinger?”

“I was fine. It was just a little scratch.” He exclaimed.

“Just a little scratch? You’re delusional, Az-”

“Truth,” the voice in the earpiece interrupted, “You’re in the middle of mission.”

Which meant they couldn’t use their real names here, in case the enemy could hear and track them and those they care about down.

“Spell-cleaver’s right. We need to be more careful about saying our names deliberately.” Shadowsinger said, earning a deadly glare from Truth.

Thunder chuckled at their interaction despite the worry growing in his heart. He hoped this mission will go smoother than the last one.

“Let’s get in. We need to find that object before they get it.” He said, turning towards the abandoned house standing on top of the hill.

It was an old one, going back to 300 hundred years at least, judging by its architecture. The wood was chipping, deep lines on the door, and dirt and vines covered the once bright light brown exterior wall. According to Spell-cleaver, it used to belong to an old lord from the mountains and was used as a vacation house, but now it was potentially the hiding place of a dangerous object their enemy desperately wanted.

They entered the house, dust and spider webs coating the chipping painted white walls. The brown wood on the doors and steps almost looked like they were decaying. Leaves and vines managed to grow inside, intertwined with the railings. A faint sound of mice could be heard through the walls and a bizarre and putrid scent floated around, causing Truth and Thunder to sneeze. The sound bounced off in the silent as the dead atmosphere.

“Shut up. You might as well wake up the neighbor ten miles away.” Shadowsinger shushed.

“Oh, I just sneezed. Get over yourself.”

“Not you, Truth. I’m talking about him. The guy’s sneeze is a whole trumpet.”

Spell-cleaver snorted through the earpiece and the blonde Fae chuckled quietly. Thunder halted his step, turning to glare at the other Illyrian. “I don’t have a trumpet’s sneeze. I have a normal sneeze.”

“Now that’s being delusional.” Spell-cleaver said, causing the other two to laugh as quietly as they could.

Thunder walked into the kitchen, muttering something along the lines of about wanting to throw them off the cliff and shaking his head, while Shadowsinger walked to the basement and Truth took the stairs to the bedrooms. They roughly knew what to look for. Their bosses informed them that it was a small object used for magical rituals, and it was rumored to be located in that specific house. A small, glowing spherical ball. It supposedly looked quite innocent, similar to a pixie’s tiny glowing globes, but it was a far more dangerous object. It was theoretically capable of doing a lot of good or a lot of evil, and if it were to ever fall into the hands of an individual with a rotting heart and evil intentions, it would lead to catastrophic consequences to the world.

Spell-cleaver, who was in the comfort of their headquarters, worked head on and belly full to locate that object, a piece of veggies filled pastry in his left hand while his right hand typed on the keyboard. He had his long fiery ginger-red hair in a low ponytail as he watched through the three big monitors, courtesy of their bosses, his friends’ body cameras for unusual heat waves through infrared imaging. He discovered during his research that the object in question released a different heat wave than others that could be found in that house. His eyes, one of russet and one of gold metal, looked over all three cameras, searching for any sign of weird heat wave.

“There’s nothing in the kitchen, Thunder. Try the living room.” He told the Illyrian in red after a few minutes of silence, dusting off small crumbles off his brown and gold ornate blazer.

Thunder left the kitchen for the living room. Everything looked... like a tornado passed through the room. The table was turned over, pillows were on the floor, vase was knocked off, the once fresh and blooming flowers lying next to it and personal belongings lied here and there. He saw on his right a painted frame of a family. A man and his wife with his two kids wearing ancient clothes. It stuck out like a sore thumb among the modern furniture and objects, like a figure of the past time traveled into the future. They looked like some type of nymph. Strangely and disturbingly enough, only the wife’s face was visible, unscathed. The rest had their faces burned as if someone held an open flame on the picture and purposefully burned it. He swallowed difficultly, turning away from the uncanny painting.

He tried to ignore the weird, chilling feeling running down his spine. Something felt strangely cold, anormal and bizarre. He couldn’t exactly tell what it was or understand why he felt like that. All he knew is that he wanted to leave immediately. Desperately.

“Something’s odd.” He said to the earpiece before resuming to the task at hand.

Truth was in a bedroom upstairs, one that clearly looked like a little boy’s. Her body cam was recording everything for Spell-cleaver. She looked through the drawers, searching for that object, before coming across a framed painting of a little forest nymph girl sitting on modern and clean white nightstand. The girl’s face was burned and at the bottom sat a small old parchemin paper with an inscription.

She quickly took the paper and read the words in a whisper.

In death reigns no stillness, only torment remains.

She unfolded the paper, curiosity prickling her skin, only to find another painted picture, this time of a woman with uncanny blue and gold eyes, quite unusual for forest nymphs. Unburned.

“What is that supposed to mean?” She heard Spell-cleaver’s voice ask.

Truth scrunched her eyebrows in confusion. “I’m not sure.”

She tucked the piece of paper in her pocket and examined the room closely. The bed was left unmade, furniture were still there and personal objects were still lying around. The edge of the carpet was turned over, as if someone stumbled on their way out. There was even a small stuffed animal toy on the ground. She noticed the same kind of havoc in the other rooms she went to earlier.

Whatever happened in that house made the old inhabitants leave in hurry.

“Guys, don’t you notice something strange? Everything is still here. All the furniture, the personal belongings, everything.” She said.

“Yeah, you’re in a house. Congratulations for finding that out.” Spell-cleaver joked.

She rolled her eyes. “Shut up, idiot. Listen. The old inhabitants’ personal stuff are still here. Their beds’ are unmade. Their carpets are turned over. Objects are knocked over on the floor or their furniture. Something happened in this house that made its last inhabitants run away.”

“You’re right. The living room was a mess. And there was this creepy medieval painting.” Thunder said, leaving the living room after nothing was detected by the infrared camera.

“Here as well. I found paintings with burned faces.”

“I had a doubt it was going to be like this. I’ll try to research again, see if I can find more about this.” Spell-cleaver said. He turned to another keyboard and opened a new page on the second monitor, already typing.

“I have this weird feeling that won’t go away. It feels creepy.” Thunder muttered, shaking his head.

Shadowsinger, who was at the basement, stared at one closet in particular. He was barely listening to the conversation, seeming entranced by the ancient closet. Tall and wide enough for him to fit inside, the light brown wood looked burnt and the handle locked by old, oxidized chains. The moving shadows around him moved frantically around him, skittering back from the ominous furniture, seeming to whisper something to him. He felt a shiver running down his spine and the hairs on his arms raise. His head was pounding as he felt strange things, yet he stayed unflinching to the pain. He almost didn’t hear Thunder calling him, his voice getting closer, until his hand touched his shoulder.

“We’ve been calling you this whole time- Why are you looking at me like that?”

He looked back at Thunder, the same hazel eyes he has staring with a faint hint of concern, then at Truth by his side, and felt reality sink back in.

He blinked. “Sorry, I didn’t hear you. Did you find anything?”

“You looked like you saw a ghost.” Truth said, concerned.

He turned back at the closet and said, “I think this house might be inhabited.”

“We’re alone here, what are you- Oh.” The long haired Illyrian realized, his eyes going wide.

“A little scared, tough guy?” The blonde woman smirked, crossing her arms on her chest.

He scoffed in return.

“Shut up.” He added after seeing her silently laughing.

“I didn’t say anything.” Her eyes were wide, but her tone suggested tease.

They heard a sigh in their earpiece. “Nothing suggests that it is haunted. Nor anything about why the family left. I only have a picture. I’ll send it to your phones.”

Their phones vibrated soon after, and upon seeing it, Thunder exclaimed, “This isn’t the same family that I saw in the painting.”

The picture showed a family of four, all High Fae. It seemed to have been taken about a hundred years before now.

“You’re right. The woman and the little girl I saw were forest nymphs, not High Fae.”

“Maybe these painting were already in the house before these people lived here.” Shadowsinger said, interrupting them.

“I had a slight doubt it might’ve been haunted upon seeing it before the mission, so I told Truth and Thunder to stay with you during this mission just in case. We all know how you get when spirits are nearby.” Spell-cleaver said as he looked through Thunder’s body cam, who went in one of the two rooms in the basement.

“I guess that’s a negative of being a shadowsinger.” Truth said, grabbing her friend’s arm and dragging him away from the ominous closet.

They walked into the only other room, looking through drawers and closets for any signs of the object. It seemed to be a laundry room judging by the large washtub and wooden board. It was the norm back then since washing machines were not yet invented.

Upon pushing a wooden cube aside to open a closet, Truth noticed a small folded paper. It had a strange, vaguely familiar seal. She quickly took it in her pocket before opening the closet.

During their search, she asked him, her voice quiet and tentative, “What did you feel when you were by that closet?”

Shadowsinger halted, thinking back at that moment. “There was... pain. And rage. I could almost hear it. I was-”

“Oh, hell no. Ask him when we’re out of here.” Thunder said from the other room. “This place is already creepy enough.”

“Aw, the big bad tough Illyrian is scared.”

“At least I can admit that. Don’t think I didn’t notice you hiding behind me when we found him by that closet acting possessed.”

Shadowsinger opened his mouth to protest, but Spell-cleaver’s voice interrupted them once again. “Wait, get closer to the right wall. I’m noticing some hot waves.”

He did as told, and a silence reigned in the room for a few minutes. Thunder walked into the laundry room, muttering that he didn’t find anything.

Suddenly, the red head’s voice was heard again, but this time he sounded alarmed, almost scared. “Get out of here. Right now.”

They all took a step back.

“There’s a bomb. It is one minute away from exploding. Fucking run!”

So they did.

They ran as quickly as they could, bumping into each other in the process. The two Illyrians’ wings could barely pass by as they ran upstairs. Running toward the door, a faint scent of smoke trailed after them.

Truth got out first, followed by Thunder shortly after.

Just as Shadowsinger stepped into the threshold, a sound echoed.

And the flames followed suit.

“Argh!” A pained sound came out of the Illyrian’s mouth as he jumped out of the house from the impact, landing on the floor roughly.

“Azriel!” Truth yelled, running towards him followed by Thunder. “Cassian, help me get him up.”

Thunder grabbed him by the upper arm, hoisting him up. The shadowsinger hissed in pain, shadows surrounding as if protecting him. Blood tainted his hand as he touched his shoulder.

“You’re injured again.” Truth said.

“The fire burned me. It’s not as bad as it seems. The fall was more painful.” He said, his gaze turning serious. “I’ll be fine, Mor.”

Flames took over the house with a loud, guttural noise as if coming out from the depths of the earth. They turned their heads at the house on fire in front of them. As the flames brightly lighted up the night, a weird phenomenon happened. They started taking shape, forming a faceless head with horns and fangs and hollow eyes. A demon’s head.

It moved towards them.

They walked backwards frantically as the shaped fire moved closer and closer, but to no avail. It was much faster than them. It swiftly moved and Cassian prepared to shield them from it, his hand on his red jewel on his chest ready.

Until it hit a wall.

A wall of flames.

The tall flames, strange and cold silvery flames, lined up in front of them, as if protecting them from the head of fire. It successfully stopped it from getting anywhere near them. And as if that wasn’t enough, droplets of crystalized water rose from the wet grass, taking the shape of a sphere that enveloped the fiery demon head and kept it trapped until it became a ball of smoke.

The nightmare now over, the three of them stood in silence for a minute, trying to process what just happened.

“Are you guys okay? What the hell was that?” Spell-cleaver asked, frustrated. His leg repeatedly bounced anxiously. He was the one behind the computer, the brains that understood computers and hacking with a genius never seen before. He joined them sometimes when long-distance technology wasn’t possible as he was a skilled fighter as well, but he knew he was helping the team the most by using his computer skills. However tonight, he wished he could have been out there physically instead of being behind a screen and having to witness them in danger without being able to help.

“I don’t know.” Cassian said. “And we were saved. Saved by- Lucien, did I just see correctly or were we just saved by silver fire and drops of water?”

“No, your eyes are right.” He answered. “Also, no name using.”

“Who cares? No one’s here anyways.”

“Look.” Azriel said, his head turned to the right.

They all turned their heads towards where he was looking at, with Lucien looking through the cameras. They could see faint shapes far away, four to be precise. They could tell by their forms that they were individuals, but not more than that. They weren’t able to see more clearly because they immediately disappeared. Winnowed.

“The universe loves proving me wrong.” Cassian said, rolling his eyes.

“Who are they?” Mor said to herself. “Do you think they heard us?”

Azriel shook his head. “I don’t think so. They were too far away even for their Fae ears to catch any sounds.”

“You need to come back. We need to report this to the bosses. The mission was a dead end. It would seem like the object wasn’t there to begin with. We were given false reports.” Lucien said.

“We’ll take care of that detail when we get home.” Mor seethed.

“We need to rest. Az is injured.” Cassian retorted.

“It’s taken care of. The bosses will arrive soon. Just leave the hill. They will come get you home. There are other objects we can find before the enemy beside that one.”

They proceeded to walk down the hill in silence, leaving the burning house behind. They expected the next meeting with their bosses to be more complicated now that they were given false reports. It’s not that they were bad, they just find it annoying that they will have to double-check all the reports that were given to them. Paper work was always such a hustle, and they were already frustrated enough with the mission being a dead end. They knew they would need to find other ways to find where these objects were and retrieve them before their enemy get them first.

But that was a problem for another day.

Azriel’s back tingled as he was walking down, and he couldn’t help but glance over his shoulder, getting one last look at the burning house. His shadows were enveloped around his neck and arms as a wooden bar fell from the house in a loud thud. He still felt the shivers, still felt in trance almost, and he swore he heard a faint feminine voice echoing from the ancient house. Something shifted inside him. Something ominous and dark. He couldn’t shake the feeling, didn’t know what or why he felt this dread.

Only that he knew it was just the beginning, somehow.

And he abhorred it.

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acotarlibrary · 2 years

Text

Title: Somewhere

Author: @thewayshedreamed

Rating: Mature

Main Pairing: Nesta Archeron/Cassian [Background Elain Archeron/Azriel, Nesta Archeron/Tomas Mandray, Feyre Archeron/Rhysand]

Tags/Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, NESSIAN AU, Toxic au, nessian angst, Angst, Angst and Feels, POV Nesta Archeron, POV Cassian (ACoTaR), Eventual Happy Ending, Psychological Trauma, Past Relationship(s), Unhealthy Relationships, Healing, Angst with a Happy Ending, NSFW, Smut, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Original Character(s), Eventual Fluff, nessian fluff, Two people incapable of being without each other finally figure it out... eventually

Summary: Nesta and Cassian dated years ago. Their relationship was passionate in the best and worst of ways, causing them to split just short of a few months together. Ever since, they’ve fallen into a pattern of communicating physically; a true definition of hot-and-cold if there ever was such a thing. They have made attempts to move on, to be with other people, but something has always pulled them right back to each other.

Their insistence on each other created quite the toxic dynamic for themselves and the important people in their lives, dismantling relationships and creating secrets that never needed to be. They’re a complete mess, both together and as individuals, but the thought of being without the other seemed impossible. This au follows their sordid affair and their individual healing. Hopefully, it’s not all a day late and a dollar short.

This is a Nessian toxic relationship au inspired by the song "Is There Somewhere" by Halsey. (Lyrics in the Notes at the end in case you haven't heard it)

Warnings for strong language, toxic relationship dynamics, mentions of infidelity, drug use, alcohol use, and sexual content. NSFW.

Word Count: 118,609

Status: In Progress

#acotarlibrary #nessian #rating: mature #alternate universe #in progress #word count: 100k+#no archive warnings apply #genre: angst #genre: hurt/comfort

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dustjacketmusings · 5 months

Note

Hello from your secret santa! Checking in again - how are you doing today?

I would like to learn more about you and some of your preferences. I am still working on determining the right story for you.

What are some of your favourite modern AUs? Or things you have seen in modern AUs that you really like?

Do you have any theories or head canons about Nessian that you would love to see in a story?

You mentioned loving winter. What are your favourite things about winter?

Hello secret santa! I'm sure that I'll love anything you make, no worries. So answering these questions is hard 😅

I like a lot of modern AUs. Prick (tattoo artists) and A Favor (awkward/neurodivergent nesta) were two of my favorites. Lawyer Nesta comes up a lot which I enjoy, but isn't a requirement. I like it when writers have a niche thing they care about but don't think readers care about. I always care. Unhealthyfanobsession has a lawyer AU which was 90% her venting about niche law things and i was THRIVING. So I don't really know how to answer because I'm down for pretty much all modern aus. Musician? Yes. Actors? Yes. Olympic athletes? Also great. Nesta gets a dog and runs a marathon? Following it intently. The most toxic exes you've ever seen? I'm so down bad for them.

Hmmm. I don't really have any theories moving forward (though an I love you would be nice). Again, I like quite a lot, and read quite a lot of fanfiction. I do like it when cassian has to keep a secret for Nesta, but that doesn't come up that often in fics. Just you know, them against the world. Alternatively, they hate each other and them against each other.

The drinks and the food. Hot chocolate, tea, eggnog, mulled wine which I've never actually had but sounds great, peppermint everything, bailey's. And you know cozy stew and potato time. Carb load up. Dark eyed juncos come back north and all the blackbirds stop eating me out of house and home

#secret santa #these answers are not useful sorry #im a fervent enjoyer ill think its great #asks

0 notes

thewayshedreamed · 2 years

Text

Somewhere, Part 21

Cassian POV

> Somewhere masterlist

a/n: Thank y'all for being so patient. I hit another wall with writing in general lately, and this fic suffered as a result. I hope this dose of Cassian makes up for it! As always, comments are welcome and appreciated! I love hearing y'all's thoughts along the way!

——————————————————————————

Cassian’s alarm went off at its usual time, but he’d begun to stir several minutes prior. He’d stayed in bed as a small act of rebellion against his biological clock, but energy bristling beneath the surface of his skin vibrated with a renewed vigor at the shrill sound. Slapping at the clock, he used his other hand to rub roughly over his face. The day wasn’t going to start itself.

Why had he agreed to meet Rhys and Azriel at the gym on a Monday morning? They weren’t complete strangers to meeting before work throughout the week, but Mondays rarely made the cut in favor of easing into the work week. Cassian had a feeling his brothers were fussing over him in their own way, trying to keep his head on straight with all the recent changes in his life. A part of him felt touched by the gesture, but a larger part of him resented the implication.

With a groan, he pulled his heavy legs over the side of the bed and lifted his arms in a long stretch. The rest of his routine went by smoothly, and within thirty minutes, he was clothed, hydrated, and driving to the gym. He was the first to arrive, not totally surprising as it related to Azriel, but it was a toss-up between himself and Rhys some days.

His little brother pulled up moments later, as if Cassian had manifested him by thoughts alone. They offered each other a casual nod, yet made no moves to get out of their cars until Azriel arrived. The three of them had a long-established understanding to walk in and out together. Maybe it was superstition, brotherly routine, or some other strange ritual, but they very rarely deviated.

Cassian decided to use the free moments to send a text to Nesta. Have a good day, sweetheart. Miss you.

With the time difference, Nesta would have been at work for a while. Her response would likely be delayed by a couple of hours when she was able to take her lunch break, but he wanted her to know he’d been thinking of her regardless.

With almost poetic timing, Azriel pulled into the empty space between Cassian and Rhys. The three of them got out of their cars and made their way toward the gym doors. It was the perfect opportunity to tug his brothers close for a morning hug, an arm around their necks, complete with a dose of positivity.

“Morning,” he cooed, tousling Azriel’s hair for good measure. “Who wants to spot me first?”

Azriel glared through his side eye and lifted a scarred hand to tame the wild wisps of ink he called hair. “Rhys does.”

Their youngest brother scoffed, but he returned Cassian’s affection with a casual arm across his back. Rhys was always the one to most readily return his affections despite their tendency to challenge one another. Perhaps challenge wasn't a strong enough word, but Cassian was feeling generous.

“Ignoring the fact that you feel entitled to go first— I’ll do it.” Before Cassian could offer any gratitude, a rogue smile tugged at his brother’s mouth. “When you inevitably wear out, it’ll be Azriel’s burden to make sure you don’t crush yourself on the next set.”

Azriel rolled his eyes but kept them fixed straight ahead. Cassian dropped his arms and paused his steps, indignant.

“When is the last time either of you had to bail me out?” he demanded.

Neither of them stopped walking until they reached the door. Azriel opened it and gestured Rhysand forward, still with his trademark morning scowl etched into his features. Turning to find Cassian still planted on the asphalt, he jerked his head toward the door to hurry him along.

Cassian broke into a light jog, deciding he’d irritated his brother enough for one day. For the time being, anyway. He offered Az a genuine grin and clapped him on the shoulder in thanks.

“Glad you’re here, brother.”

Azriel grunted, but out of the corner of his eye, Cassian noticed the smallest twitch at the corner of his mouth.

It had to be a new personal record in drawing Az out of his morning mood.

—

Their workout had been grueling and productive. Cassian’s body hurt in places it hadn’t in some time, and he supposed it had something to do with the bit of off-time he’d taken while Nesta was in Velaris.

He hadn’t stopped training completely, but it hadn’t been particularly easy to convince himself to peel out of bed on the mornings he woke to Nesta curled tightly against his side. He had no shame in admitting it was no contest.

Overall, the morning's training session had gone well. It was his mouth that had gotten him into trouble when Rhys had asked if they were in the mood for some sparring. Cassian had teased that whoever won between Rhys and Azriel could fight him next as a finale of sorts.

Both brothers had muttered their versions of “cocky bastard” under their breaths for insinuating that fighting him would be an earned privilege. Since he’d felt so confident, they had decided, Cassian could fight them simultaneously.

That was how he’d had his ass properly kicked before 7:00 on a Monday morning.

If he felt inclined to give himself some credit, he’d lasted longer than any of them could have expected. If not for Azriel’s swift kick, knocking Cassian’s legs from underneath him, he may have managed even longer. Az had timed the move perfectly when Cassian dodged a punch from Rhys, and in a flash, he was blinking up at the gym’s buzzing, fluorescent lights.

Pricks.

The morning had been filled with laughs, lasting through breakfast. It was easy to get carried away with catching up, and Cassian noticed almost too late that he needed to clean-up and head into the office.

He’d made it on-time, probably early by anyone else’s standards, but the brisk pace of the morning set the tone for a busy start of the week. Mondays were a bit of a catch-up day all-around, but Cassian had spent the entire morning being pulled from one colleague’s office to another for advice or an impromptu consult. For someone who hadn’t put his ass in a chair or had any time to take a deep breath, he had little to show for his productivity by lunchtime.

The afternoon would have to suffice for taking care of his own duties. He was determined to establish a boundary for the remaining hours of the day, and in doing so, he thought he could very well finish-up everything by quitting time. Going into Tuesday behind already didn’t bode well for his future self.

His boss, Helion, had no qualms about derailing his plan, it seemed. He barreled into Cassian’s small workspace some time after lunch, larger than life, and made a show of knocking as he entered. In his irritation, Cassian had to bite his tongue to avoid spelling out how pointless knocking was if it happened upon or after entering.

He didn’t get a second to say much of anything before he found himself summoned to follow Helion to his office on the next floor. They made small talk on the way, but it did little to keep Cassian’s mind from imagining what the meeting would entail. For a moment, he considered that he may have missed a scheduled meeting on his calendar, but if that were the case, he figured he would have been summoned by the executive assistant.

Before he could succumb to the obsession, his phone buzzed in his pocket. He sneaked a glance at the screen while he eased himself into a plush leather chair and struggled to keep his smile in check at Nesta’s belated reply. Miss you, too.

His thumb was poised to lock his screen, but a second message gave him pause. He wished he’d been more swift. I just finished dinner. About to treat myself to a large glass of wine and a bubble bath.

The text was innocent enough. He could nearly hear the fatigue between her words, but the mental image was the last thing he could afford at the onset of a seemingly important meeting. His eyes slammed shut for a beat as he shoved his phone into the front pocket of his slacks.

“Sorry to pull you last minute like this, but you stay so busy that I thought it best to grab you while I could.”

“I understand. It’s no problem.” Lie, but he assumed the truth wouldn’t land well. Cassian leaned back in the chair and crossed his ankle over a knee, silently urging his boss to get on with what he needed to say.

Once settled behind his desk, Helion leaned back in his chair and fixed his attention on Cassian. His expression was casual enough for Cassian to loose a breath.

“I won’t take much of your time, but I wanted to talk to you about the most recent quarterly data.”

Cassian managed a nod, hoping his confused expression didn’t seem antagonistic.

“The numbers look great— all trending in the right direction. When I looked at individual trends over the last quarter; however, yours were lower than that have been historically.”

Irritation pricked at the nape of Cassian’s neck. He’d almost leaned into guilt first, wondering if his time with Nesta had distracted him from his usual standards as far as work was concerned. But just as quickly, he was annoyed. No shit, his numbers were down. He spent the majority of his time consulting with his colleagues, helping them navigate their own accounts and contributing to their productivity. It wasn’t in him to tell them all to fuck off— especially if they needed help— in favor of his own benchmarks.

Joke was on him, he guessed.

“I see.” He gave himself an imaginary clap on the back for the even tone of his voice. “I’ll keep a closer eye on the metrics moving forward.”

That was as much as he dared promise. Committing to any specifics didn’t feel wise, especially knowing how his priorities had shifted in the last couple of months.

“I was prepared to bring you in to orient back to the common goal, maybe give some encouragement—”

“No need.” Shit. Interrupting Helion wasn’t his brightest move, but he committed. “I’ll refocus.”

“That’s not—” Helion began, shaking his head as if to clear some imaginary fog. “That’s not what I meant. Sure, that way my original intention, but I did some extra digging. I looked at data over the last several quarters, and you know what I noticed?”

Clearly not. “No, I’m not sure I see where this is going.”

“There’s a pattern, Cassian. There’s an inverse relationship between your department’s numbers and your own. When yours are lower, the department on the whole is at peak performance.”

Cassian stared at him, blinking. If his boss dared to insinuate that he was the dead weight, that was when his composure would disintegrate.

“It’s a consistent pattern, so I asked around and paid closer attention. What helps the department thrive is you, Cassian. What we lose in your personal productivity when you’re supporting the others, we gain exponentially in their individual outputs. You do more for this organization by physically doing less, believe it or not.”

Helion huffed an ironic-sounding laugh, and Cassian kept blinking as if trying to communicate by morse code. After another beat, he cleared his throat. If nothing else, he was relieved to know he didn’t have to defend his day-to-day operations.

“I’m glad you looked into it. I don’t want to give the impression that I’m not pulling my weight.”

Helion grinned. “Quite the opposite. You run around here far too busy for someone who doesn’t contribute. What makes the most sense to me is to make sure your duties allow you the ability to carry on in the same capacity.” He allowed a beat of silence, presumably to gauge Cassian’s reaction. “I’d like you to consider a different role with us as Marketing Director. You would continue supporting the marketing team with strategy, campaign execution, and the like. In addition to that, you would be the first point of contact for each project lead, collaborate with the business department with regard to budgetary supports and future opportunities for growth. There are few additional responsibilities, but depending on your interest, I thought I could forward the description via email to give you time to review.”

For a man who was supposed to anticipate the future of the marketing firm for a living, Cassian hadn’t seen the offer coming. They’d never had such a position within the organization before, but he supposed with recent growth, the need was there. Information swarmed his brain at record speed, but his interest was piqued, for sure. The timing wasn’t ideal, but fortunately, he had plenty of experience with faulty timing.

“I don’t know what to say,” he croaked, finally. “I appreciate the offer. I’m definitely interested, but I wouldn’t want to give you an answer before I review the rest of the information.”

Helion lifted a hand in understanding. “No need. We want you to weigh your options. Your current position is still available to you if that seems a better fit, but we’ll need a director to manage the workload you’ve carried for months. Working in your current capacity isn’t sustainable with the way things are moving.”

Cassian knew that, but something in him bristled at the idea of staying in his current position and someone else doing the job he was obviously qualified to do. Helion made a strong case for considering all angles, though. His mid- to long-term plans had started to look a lot different as of late, and he didn’t know how this aligned with them.

“I understand. Send me the information, and I’ll take a look. When do you need a decision?”

“Well, there’s no major sense of urgency yet, but it does keep the weight of the world on your shoulders the longer you wait. I could forward the description as soon as you leave. From there, how about a meeting to touch base in a week’s time? I’ll have a Human Resources representative present, that way there’s someone to answer your questions around compensation, benefits, and whatever else.”

Helion chair squeaked as he stood, extending his hand to Cassian to shake. He stood as well, accepting Helion’s hand with a broad, genuine smile.

“Thanks, Helion. I’ll keep you posted.”

—

The rest of the day went by in a bit of a blur. As though the universe aimed to prove a point, Cassian got pulled in every direction for the remainder of the day. His plans for getting caught up before quitting time were laughable, in retrospect.

Determined not to let the work pile up and steamroll him into the weekend, he’d parked himself at his dining room table with his laptop and a large mug of coffee. Hours passed while he juggled overdue emails, phone calls from colleagues putting in overtime themselves, and drafting ideas of his own in the process.

Maybe Helion had a point.

The job description was one thing Cassian had pinned as important in his email, but the nerve to open it hadn’t quite hit. Too much weighed on what the email contained. And his biggest fear of all?

It would turn out to be absolutely perfect for him.

The urge to make decisions that paved the way for he and Nesta’s relationship was strong, sometimes to the point of distraction. Recent years had taught him that doing so wasn’t a guarantee, and if they were to be happy together, they had to take care of themselves, too. Making decisions in Nesta’s favor, even without her having to ask, was a mainline straight to resentment, and he loved her too much to put such a target on her back. Cassian wasn't sure who he would be anymore if he found himself too resentful of Nesta to love her.

But, fuck, he missed her. They’d resumed normal life for mere weeks, and the vacancy she’d left in his days, his apartment, his routine were brutal already.

His brain was nearly mush by the time his phone rang obnoxiously in his pocket. Before his face contorted into a full-blown scowl, he noticed the time and knew immediately whose name would appear on his screen.

He freed a pencil from behind his ear, tossing it onto the tabletop and raising his phone to answer. “This is Cassian.”

Cringing, he cursed under his breath at his awkward greeting. He hadn’t managed to shift from autopilot.

With no shortage of amusement, Nesta replied, “This is Nesta.”

He chuckled, and it felt fucking good. After a stressful day, he needed the playfulness and the soothing tone of Nesta’s voice.

It wasn’t until he heard said voice that he realized her texts from earlier hadn’t been nearly enough. It had been a long day, full of positive things, but it left him mentally drained in a way that made her absence feel like a vise around his throat.

“Hey,” he replied. “Sorry. I’ve been fielding calls all evening.”

“It’s late. Did you eat?” Her concern soothed him, but he’d never point it out. The last thing he wanted was Nesta to realize she fussed over him— just as much as he did over her sometimes, in his opinion— and stop doing it. Instead, he smiled and walked toward his living room.

“I did. I picked up take-out on my way home and ate it over my keyboard.”

They shared a short laugh. “Good to know that your work-life balance is solid.” Her voice softened. “How was your day?”

Cassian pressed the phone between his ear and shoulder to better adjust the pillows on his couch.

“Fine,” he teased. “It’s great now.” He didn’t need to see her face to know her eyes were rolling at him for being such a sap.

“Wow,” she deadpanned. “It must have been rough if talking to me is the high point.”

It was his turn to roll his eyes at her self-deprecation, but a grin tugged at the corner of his mouth regardless. Nesta was never so overt in displaying serious criticisms of herself, so Cassian knew she aimed to give him a hard time.

He could have risen to the challenge and sparred with her, but the best way to win with Nesta was to kill her with kindness. Nothing bored her faster, leaving Cassian victorious in their banter.

Concealing a chuckle, he shook his head affectionately. He missed her viscerally— her harmless scowl and how she fought her smile anytime they had similar conversations. He’d have loved to kiss her senseless to coax that damned smile free.

His voice was low, thick with fondness and a host of other emotions. “And how was your day, Sweetheart?”

“Fine,” she parroted. “It’s great now.”

He scowled at having his words thrown back at him, but no bite lived behind it.

“Of course it is— now that you’re talking to me.”

Nesta heaved an exasperated breath, but it held as much bite as his scowl-turned-smile. “I wish I could argue that, but I can’t.”

Cassian’s eyes grew in surprise. “That’s got to be a first.”

“I’ll hang up.”

“No, no, no,” he rushed out, uncaring how much his desperation rang true. “Just giving you a hard time.”

The smile in her words was obvious. “I know. Me too.”

A few seconds of comfortable silence ticked by until Cassian’s desire to hear her voice won out. “You didn’t actually tell me about your day. Work still as chaotic?”

“Worse, somehow.” She paused, and something about the silence felt loaded in a way the previous ones hadn’t. Whatever it was made Cassian hold his breath. “It’ll be fine. I’ll get caught up, and it’ll go back to normal.”

“I have faith in you.” Before he could stop himself, he asked, “Everything else okay?”

Nesta inhaled and released it on a slow, controlled whoosh of air. Nothing about the calming breath eased Cassian nerves, and his intuition sang in the form a prickle over the back of his neck.

“Everything is fine,” she assured him, too firm to be casual. “I just— I heard from Tomas today.”

His eyes bugged before he slammed them shut and breathed against his… temper? Nerves? Both? Why was it so hard to breathe it down, whatever the hell it was?

Throwing his legs over the side of the couch, he eased to the edge of the cushion and rested his elbows atop his knees. His free hand scrubbed down his face, pausing to run back and forth roughly over his mouth.

“Yeah?” he asked, proud to sound almost reasonable. “What’d he have to say?”

“You’re mad.”

“No.” His response was too swift that time. Damn it. “Not at you, anyway. I thought I was pretty clear the last time I saw him.”

His words to Tomas clanged through his skull.

You don’t speak to her. You don’t look in her general direction. As far as you’re concerned, you never knew her. And then, as if it needed any additional damnation— If I hear anything to the contrary, I won’t hesitate. That’s a fucking promise.

What had he promised exactly? Bodily harm, no doubt, but he wasn’t sure of the extent he’d intended. Tomas was an asshole, a despicable excuse for a human being, but Cassian hadn’t taken him for being an idiot. Calling his bluff hadn’t been Tomas’ brightest idea.

“You were,” she breathed. Then, “He wanted to let me know he was moving out of our apartment and offered me some of our shared furniture.”

Harmless enough, but then again, Tomas was usually harmless until he wasn’t. “I see. Did you say anything?”

If she had, it was her prerogative. Cassian didn’t love the idea that Tomas would be encouraged by her reply, but he had no choice but to follow Nesta’s lead on the matter. It wasn’t technically his business to dictate, anyway.

“I didn’t get a chance to say anything,” she replied, her tone wary. “Not that I’m complaining.”

“So, he just left it alone when you didn’t respond?” Please, Cassian thought in the gods’ general direction, please tell me he fucked off.

“Well, like I said, I didn’t get a chance to respond. I was in Claire’s office at the time. She took care of it.”

He knew he’d liked Claire for a reason. “Remind me to hug her when I come visit.”

Nesta laughed, and the tension in his chest became almost bearable. “She’d love that, I’m sure. I know you’re curious what she said, so I’ll make a long story short. She called, told him he could donate what he didn’t want or burn it, and let him know that he’d exhausted the very last excuse he could have conjured for contacting me. Then, she blocked his number and invited me to lunch. That was it.”

Cassian sat up, and his head fell back in relief. Loosing a breath, he realized he’d been so focused on not losing his shit that he hadn’t managed to check in on Nesta.

“You okay?”

Her confusion was almost palpable, but she recovered quickly. “I’m fine, I promise.” Cassian nodded as if she could see, but his relief was choking him too soundly to answer. “I was shaken up seeing his name on my screen, but I’m okay. I was lucky to have a session scheduled with Madja today, so I worked through it with her. Are you okay?”

His first inclination was to lie, to tell Nesta that all was dandy and that he couldn’t give a shit about Tomas. That wasn’t a fair trade of vulnerability.

“I’m okay. I’m pissed, I guess. Makes me hate that I’m not there with you.”

“I hate it, too. Maybe you can spare another hug for me when you visit.”

A laugh, loud and true, left Cassian’s mouth. “That was a given, Sweetheart. You get whatever you want.”

Nesta hummed her approval, and he couldn’t help but wonder where her imagination had gone. His took off without him on a daily basis, sometimes multiple times a day, when it came to her.

“Anyway,” Nesta said, interrupting his train of thought. “Technically, you haven’t told me about your day, either.”

Cassian blinked. “Oh, yeah, I guess you’re right. It was busy, and I had an interesting meeting with Helion today.”

“Your boss?”

He leaned back into the couch cushion. “Yeah. It was a little hard to concentrate. My girlfriend had just sent a text about her taking a bath. Thanks for that, by the way.”

Nesta’s laugh blessed him again. “I wasn’t being suggestive. Your cock led you astray after an innocent message.”

“You said bath, and the mental image came with it.” His voice was thicker than before, lower. He took a deep breath to ease the thrumming heat through his veins.

“It’s not like I sent an actual picture. I would take full responsibility for that.”

Cassian adjusted himself through the front of his sweats, biting his cheek to keep from hissing at the context.

“Nesta,” he warned.

“I won’t do that to you at work, I promise.” Her voice was as sweet as he’d ever heard it, but it was sincere. At least he didn’t have to worry about getting ill-timed pictures of a naked Nesta at during a morning brief. “Don’t change the subject. Tell me about your meeting.”

That was enough to refocus. Lifting his arm to rest behind his head, he settled deeper into the couch and told her about the nature of the meeting. He said nothing of his chaotic thoughts or what it may mean for them in the future; only the objective truths of the matter.

“Baby, that’s incredible,” she murmured, but he couldn’t quite read the subtext of her tone. “You clearly deserve it. Would you be happy?”

“I think so, but I haven’t reviewed the full job description yet. I’m sure I’ll have questions for Helion and HR once I do, so I’m trying not to sell myself a dream.”

“I understand. Keep me posted?” Her voice seemed meeker than before, but maybe he was reading too much into it.

“Yeah. Always.” He cleared his throat, eager to talk about anything less heavy. “Now that we’re all caught up, tell me about all the places you’ll take me when I visit.”

“Care to tell me when that will be? Not that I’m not entirely prepared with such a list, but knowing when you’ll be here will help me… prioritize.”

A knowing smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth. “There’s no list for me, is there?” Mirth oozed from every word, even by Cassian’s standards.

His suspicion was confirmed by an irritated, albeit adorable, growl. “No, there’s no list, you brute. I wasn’t aware I was meant to serve as your ambassador.”

This game, he could play it all day with Nesta. He loved to ruffle her feathers with no intention to relent until he was under her skin properly. It felt better than trying to guess their future or anticipating any and every barrier that could stand in their way.

“Well, who else is supposed to do it?” he teased, his tone as cocksure as ever. It was Nesta’s favorite.

Well, it wasn’t her favorite, not by a landslide. The best he could hope for was begrudging affection for it. He could work with that.

“No one,” she grumbled. “It’s not that I don’t want to have a list, it’s just that I haven’t done much aside from work and the occasional outing with Claire or people from work. We have a tight rotation of restaurants and bars, none of which seem tourist-worthy.”

“Gods, Nesta, use the internet.”

“Cassian.” Her warning was severe despite his obviously facetious delivery. His smile widened, and he wondered what that said about him.

“Fine. I’ll look into it for us.” Nesta withheld any reply. Her silence unnerved him more than any barb she could lob his way. “On a more serious note, I’m kidding. You’re the only thing that would matter on that list, anyway.”

That earned an intentionally measured laugh, but he swore he heard the full potential of her amusement in its place. “Charming.” Another beat of silence, then, “When can you come?”

Her voice was vulnerable, so soft that he could have missed it. Nesta missed him, he realized, and he somehow felt unworthy of such a strong sentiment from a woman like her.

“Well, this weekend coming up is out. Feyre has her art exhibit, and I told Amren that I would help her and Varian move into their new place.” He paused, trying to remember any conflicts in the near future. “I’m not sure what work will look like considering my conversation with Helion, but I’m thinking the following weekend. Are you busy?"

Nesta’s response was confident, almost eager. “No, I’m free. That gives me time to make a list.”

“Nah,” Cassian said through a laugh. “We’ll make one together. That’ll help the weeks go by a little faster.”

He heard a long yawn and paused to find the clock on the wall. It was evening for him, meaning it was approaching midnight for Nesta. She wasn’t the type who thrived on minimal sleep, nor did anyone deserve to find themselves in her crosshairs as a result. Guilt almost settled into him at the thought, but it hadn’t been malicious in nature. Nesta would say the same.

“Sounds like a plan.” She paused for another yawn. “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“You’re not coming so soon because of everything with Tomas, right?”

The insecurity, veiled in objectivity and in taking his inventory, hurt. That pain creeped up on him subtly, but not in offense. Having Nesta believe his intentions had something to do with anything other than his legitimate desire to be anywhere she was felt unbearable. Mirth and challenge had no home in their conversation anymore; not when he needed Nesta to know how much she meant to him.

“No, Nes. I promise. I would have been there the day after you went home if things worked that way.” He cleared his throat. “I’ve missed you since you left me for airport security.”

“Okay,” she conceded. “I’ve missed you, too.”

Knowing it already hadn’t made the sentiment any less sweet. A contented warmth rolled over his shoulders, but he’d spare her the emotional cargo of sharing.

“It’s late, Sweetheart. Why don’t you get some rest?”

“I should.” That sensation hit him again; loss and longing so true he wondered if it would drive him mad. “Call me tomorrow?”

“Try and stop me.”

——————————————————————————

If you’d like to be tagged in any of my fics, please send me an ask, a message, leave a comment, or mention being tagged in your reblog! I’ll be happy to add you!

[And, if I’ve left you off my list unintentionally, please don’t hesitate to remind me! No offense taken.]

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#nessian #nessian fanfiction #nesta x cassian #acotar fanfic #nessian modern au #somewhere toxic au #twsd fics #twsd writes

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moodymelanist · 2 years

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Girl it would be so funny if you just started adding on a day/week for everytime someone ask you to update. Like did you finish and edit a chapter? Yes. Now we check the log of how many times did someone harass you for this update and demand your free time be used on their schedule! 27 times? Looks like it's gonna be 27 more days until posting it. Get their asses!!!

Lmaooooooo I really should. What’s so hilarious is that if anon had said nothing I was planning on posting the final chapter of this toxic!Nessian fic tomorrow for AU day….. and now they went and fucked it up for everyone 🥴

#anon asks #I feel bad to punish everyone but y’all gotta learn I am not the one nor the two!

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shedoessoshedoes · 1 year

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UGH GAH i do not understand why in every single fic i read we must slander someone. if i’m reading a feysand fic, IT’S OKAY TO LET FEYRE HAVE A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH HER SISTERS. NESTA DOES NOT NEED TO BE THE MEANEST PERSON EVER. if i’m reading a nessian fic, WE DO NOT NEED TO MAKE RHYS AND FEYRE INTO HORRIBLE PEOPLE THAT HATE NESTA. WE DO NOT NEED TO TURN CASSIAN’S FRIENDS INTO TOXIC PEOPLE THAT DON’T ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT HIM. WE DO NOT NEED TO BASH ELAIN FOR HER LIFE CHOICES (and what is up with turning her into a socialite or making her just. so frivolous and vapid in modern aus especially??? that is not who she is.) i don’t read gwynriel fics, but WE DO NOT NEED TO TURN ELAIN IN THE THE BAD GUY. WE ALSO (again) DO NOT NEED TO MAKE HER VAPID AND STUPID. if i’m reading an elriel fic, i would much rather have fun bff dynamic between lucien and elain than TURN HIM INTO YET ANOTHER BAD GUY WHO CAN’T GET OVE HER NOT HAVING FEELINGS FOR HIM. stop. with. the character slander. can’t we just appreciate all of them? for the good, the bad, and the ugly? i appreciate everyone that writes fic for this fandom, i really do, but sometimes it just feels like everyone is so mean all the time (both to the characters and to the real people within the fandom).

#acotar

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sayosdreams · 2 years

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Thanksvember 2021

Thanksvember masterpost! This year I’m going to try to do (mostly) fics I didn’t include last year. Huge shoutout to all these fics and writers!! I appreciate each and every one of these so much!

November 1 - Going for Gold by @unhealthyfanobsession . I love @unhealthyfanobsession ‘s writing style and the way the individual character arcs come together. This Olympic AU fic had great pacing and writing. I was always on edge waiting for the next chapter!!

November 2 - I Don’t Want to Wait by @charincharge . This is 90% of the reason why I get through mondays. This Rowaelin AU is so freaking adorable and honestly the high school drama stuff hits different when you’re in pandemic high school or when you start college (it’s weirdly nostalgic but also like, whew, thank god I’m done with college applications). Anyway, this fic is the perfect amount of sweetness and suspense. I cant wait to see where it goes!

November 3 - Mr. & Mrs. Archeron by @moodymelanist . I mean, an AU where they’re both assassins but don’t know until they cross paths on opposite sides of a case?? *chefs kiss* It definitely keeps you on your toes! And the nessian is, of course, exquisite. 10/10 recommend if you’re looking for some Nessian with action.

November 4 - Wingplay by @simpingfornestaarcheron . This fic is sexy and hot as FUCK. If you’re looking for a little smutty spice, go check it out! 🔥

November 5 - Dark Roast, No Sugar by @whimsicallyreading . This rowaelin fic is coffee shop AU + a TON of angsty drama. I’m obsessed!!! I love the writing, and the pacing is just perfect — so much anticipation! Definitely recommend if you want an exciting Rowaelin fic

November 6 - In which she makes a friend by @bookstantrash . I love how Nesta opens up and getting closer to Kaelin (who, by the way, is one of my all time fav OCs), and I love Cassian and Kaelin’s interactions, too. The Nessian is obviously amazing! I love this fic and I seriously can’t recommend it enough 😍😍😍

November 7 - Let Me Be Your Home by @perseusannabeth . Regency Nessian? Uh, yes please!! Every detail about Nesta’s past hurts like a thousand paper cuts but it just makes her healing better and all the acts of kindness Cassian gives her that she’s not used to hurts in the best way. Seriously go read this right now!

November 8 - Scandalous by @arinbelle . I adore her writing (there’ll def be more of her fics on this list). This fic tho… *chefs kiss* I love a Nessian fic with sprinkles of angst and this one is like, my comfort angsty Nessian pregnancy fic. I love every single thing about it and have reread it a LOT. And I love it more each time.

November 9 - Famously in Love by @batboyazriel . First off, I love the premise for this fic! I mean, famous YouTubers that the internet ship? What’s not to love! Also, the way the narration follows all the different couples keeps the story perfectly paced. An awesome Nessian & Feysand & Elriel modern AU!

November 10 - Somewhere by @thewayshedreamed . I love her writing & narrative style so much! This fic is a rollercoaster of growing out of a toxic relationship and learning to have a more healthy love and made me feel so deeply. I really enjoyed every bit of Nessian’s progression, even when I wanted to cry.

November 11 - Come and get me by @c-e-d-dreamer . @c-e-d-dreamer ‘s writing is my newest obsession! This Nessian fic in particular gave me all the feels. 10/10 recommend!!

November 12 - Lay Down Your Burdens by @highfaelucien . Oh my gosh, @highfaelucien fics hit hard every time but this one has me drowning in bittersweet angty feels. Just all the pain and trauma and love in this one is impeccable. It’s utterly perfect and I’m so in love 😍

November 13 - Prepare for trouble, make it double by raging_fire (ao3). I’m breaking my “only fics by tumblr users” rule with this one but it deserves it. I obviously have a soft spot for Nessian pregnancy/parenting fics, but I don’t usually like OC-centric fics. This fic, which focuses on Nessian’s kids, proved me so wrong. I was so obsessed with this, the updates made my day and I even made a GC just to fangirl over it and make theories. You have to go check it out for your own sake!!!

November 14 - The Asshole from the manor on the hill by @moe8 . @moe8 has many great fics but I had to pick this amazing one in which Nesta confronts our least favorite asshole, Tomas ✨ The part 2 is great too!!

November 15 - An Exception by @confusedfandomslut . This fic 🥵🔥 I mean, modern AU with rival Nessian AND stripper Nesta? 👀 the ending is perfect too. Definitely recommend!

November 16 - For You by @rhysand-vs-fenrys . I think about this fic ALL THE TIME. I’ve reread it ALOT. Not only is it Lysaedion (!!!) smut, it’s also hilarious and adorable and just overall perfect. Some passages I think about:

“What are we?” “Pre-married.” Aedion answered instantly. When Lysandra did not respond he began adding to the list, “In love. Lovers. You are courting me. I am courting you. Engaged… Best friends? Confidants? You’re a beautiful, powerful woman and I’m… your toy?” He was less and less sure as he went on, but his answers were snarky all the same. “Two adults? Two non-humans? Roommates? Future permanent roommates? Too beautiful for our own good? Did… did I say ‘partners’ already?”

And:

“Just- if I’m being honest the wax was kind of… when we were playing with it I was fine, but I was picking drops off some very delicate parts for a week.”

November 17 - Holiday of Healing by @starbornvalkyrie & @aurips . Not only is this an adorable 6 part Nessian fic (and it’s the perfect time for a reread, now that the Holidays are coming up again!), I also love the Rowan-Nesta and Cassian-Aelin friendships 😍 This fic is seriously amazing. Go give it a read!!

November 18 - The Seven of Us by @julemmaes . A fluffy collection of oneshots about Nesta & Cassian and their 5 kids!! Literally every single one of these oneshots is so perfect and cute ♥️♥️♥️

November 19 - Nesta’s Smile is like the Sun by @vidalinav . I know from personal experience how difficult it can be to love someone who struggles with their mental health. It isn’t always easy to be supportive — often it feels like you’re useless and nothing you do rly helps them. But anyways this Nessian fic was everything I needed. I love your writing and this one hit hard, since I relate to both Cassian & Nesta.

November 20 - Made by @arinbelle . This Nessian Mafia AU fic… *chefs kiss* the PACING! The drama! The writing! The romance! The crime! Everything is absolute perfection ✨

November 21 - Boughs of Holly by @ncssian . I’m still so soft over the fact that you wrote this fic for me 🥺 I adore @ncssian ‘s writing, and her characterization of the ACOTAR-verse characters is always incredible — seriously, one of my absolute favorite fic writers and that’s saying smth bc I don’t have a life and constantly binge read fanfic. Anyway this one is super cute and perfect now that the holidays are rolling around again!

November 22 - Misplace Mail by @live-the-fangirl-life . @live-the-fangirl-life is a pro at writing fluffy cute oneshots & mini series! This series is not only hilarious, it’s also 🔥🔥🔥 Def go check out more of @live-the-fangirl-life ‘s writing if you love fluff!

November 23 - I’m here by @talkfantasytome . This Lysaedion fic series breaks my heart in the best way. It’s adorable but bittersweet and just absolute perfection. ♥️

November 24 - Supernova by @sirendeepity . I’ve only read the first chapter so far (which was phenomenal btw) but I KNOW this fic is gonna hurt like hell and I’m gonna thank it anyway. I know I’m going to be addicted to it. I love the premise, and the Nessian and the writing 😍✨

November 25 - Childhood memories by @happy-smiling-things . First off, I ADORE @happy-smiling-things writing!!! There are so many amazing Nessian fics so it was so hard to pick one. This one delves into Nesta’s past, her childhood trauma, and her growth, and I love it!!!

November 26 - Senseless by @mariamuses . This fic is such a memorable classic! It’s a little angsty — you know, because who doesn’t love a little hurt/comfort? Especially when it’s Nesta being vulnerable and Cassian trying to help her through it all? Go read it if you haven’t already!

November 27 - Your Love by @writtenonreceipts . I love all of @writtenonreceipts ‘ fics — I definitely recommend checking them all out! This one is written in a style I find really creative and interesting, and I absolutely love ♥️

November 28 - Lost by @arinbelle . This is a hauntingly beautiful fic. I cant even describe it. Just go read it when you have the emotional stability (or lack thereof) to appreciate the painful beauty.

November 29 - A favor by @ncssian . This is worthy of breaking my “no repeats from last year” rule. I cannot explain just how much I love this fic. Every single part of it is incredible. The characterization of Nesta, Cassian, and the rest of the characters within a modern context is so interesting to watch and just *chefs kiss*. Trust me, if you love nessian, you’ll love this. Do yourself a favor and go read it ;)

November 30 - A Lion’s Pride by @pitterpatterpot . This comes as a surprise to absolutely no one bc I’m obsessed with this fic and do free advertising for it 24/7. I reread it so many times that I almost memorized the whole thing so I had to take a break so that I could forget a bit and fully experience it again. The exploration of Aedion’s character is just so perfect, I love it so much. Did I recommend this fic last year? Yes ofc. Will I do it again next year? Probably. So go read it so that you can come scream about it with me ♥️

#thanksvember #fic recs #fanfiction

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darklove9314-blog · 2 years

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Masterlist

Here’s a Masterlist of all my Fanfics (Mostly ACOTAR)

Symphonia (Nessian Fanfiction)

https://www.tumblr.com/darklove9314-blog/734925216688570368/symphonia-chapter-1-darkrose9314-a-court-of?source=share

Hearts Set Aflame (Nessian Fanfiction)

https://www.tumblr.com/darklove9314-blog/734925369005817856/hearts-set-aflame-chapter-1-darkrose9314-a?source=share

In A Sky of A Thousand Stars (SJM Universe Crossover Fic)

https://www.tumblr.com/darklove9314-blog/742341548823461888/in-a-sky-of-a-thousand-stars-chapter-1?source=share

Shadows and Flames (Cassian/Nesta/Azriel NSFW) (ACOTAR)

Shadow and Flames

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/667486637049200640/yeah-this-is-my-first-ever-exploration-of-a

The Greatest Gift

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/667716938703732736/the-greatest-gifta-nessianazriel-fanfic-nsfw

Bananas and Cream

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/677457325528842240/bananas-and-cream-a-nessianazriel-fanfic-nsfw

The Song In The Shadows (Gwynriel Fanfiction)

https://www.tumblr.com/darklove9314-blog/728477017438388224/the-song-in-the-shadows-darkrose9314-a-court?source=share

The Everlasting Spring (Elucien Fanfiction)

https://www.tumblr.com/darklove9314-blog/742341914613972992/the-everlasting-spring-chapter-1-darkrose9314?source=share

Missing Pieces (Nessian Fanfiction)

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/640071509232254976/missing-pieces-darkrose9314-a-court-of-thorns

She is the Sunlight (Jesminda and Lucien Fanfiction)

https://www.tumblr.com/darklove9314-blog/713921831902560256/she-is-the-sunlight-darkrose9314-a-court-of?source=share

How Can You Mend a Broken Heart? (Feyre, Nesta, and Elain Fanfiction)

https://www.tumblr.com/darklove9314-blog/742342114373992448/how-can-you-mend-a-broken-heart-chapter-1?source=share

The Truth in the Silence (Emorie Fanfiction)

https://www.tumblr.com/darklove9314-blog/728480430777614336/the-truth-in-the-silence-darkrose9314-a-court?source=share

When The Dark Days Win (Evil Nesta/ Neris Fanfic)

https://www.tumblr.com/darklove9314-blog/742342391983374336/when-the-dark-days-win-chapter-1-darkrose9314?source=share

Fire and Ice (An Eris Fanfic)

https://www.tumblr.com/darklove9314-blog/742342573994262528/fire-and-ice-chapter-1-darkrose9314-a-court?source=share

SJM Romance Week Fanfics

Shadows In The Garden (Elriel Fanfiction)

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/676112513913569280/shadows-in-the-garden-an-elriel-fanfic

A Beautiful Melody (Gwynriel Fanfiction)

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/676031995920384000/a-beautiful-melody-a-gwynriel-fanfic

Am I Not the One (Elucien Fanfiction)

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/675933315874848768/am-i-not-the-one-an-elucien-fanfic

To Nesta Archeron, With Love (Nessian Fanfiction)

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/675696169614213120/to-nesta-archeron-with-love-a-nessian-fanfic

I Don’t Want to Be Your Friend (Quinlar Fanfiction)

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/675639155341082624/i-dont-want-to-be-your-friend-a-quinlar-fanfic

A Choice is Not A Choice If There Isn’t One (Anti-Feysand Fanfiction)

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/676038406447529984/a-choice-is-not-a-choice-if-there-isnt-one

Toxic Queen (Nessian AU Fanfiction)

Part 1

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/673466787713679360/toxic-queen-a-nessian-fanfic-description

Part 2

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/673671325334880256/toxic-queenpart-2

Part 3

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/673845208813813760/toxic-queen-part-three

Part 4

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/676001951363776512/toxic-queen-part-4-nesta-looked-down-at-cassians

Part 5

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/678558309676154880/toxic-queen-part-5-god-ill-never-tire-of

Part 6

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/679552305672110080/toxic-queen-part-6-nesta-stared-in-disbelief-at

part 7

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/680976402852544512/toxic-queen-part-7

Part 8

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/682120626250645504/toxic-queen-part-8

Part 9

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/684275920158277632/toxic-queen-part-9

ACOWAR Nessian/Other Nessian Fanfictions

Nesta Wakes Up After Hybern: https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/673677275100856320/what-are-you-doing-in-here-a-fierce-voice

Cassian Shows Nesta The Library at The House Of Wind: https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/673744197922291712/authors-note-decided-to-write-more-acowar

Nessian’s Daughter Ask Where Babies Come From: https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/668047990116728832/nessian-family-training-session-or-where-do-kids

Cassian Comforts His Daughter After A Magical Outburst: https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/667779313849057280/prompt-nesta-is-away-on-some-business-and-nessian

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/642446488210948096/nightmares-a-nessian-one-shot

Jealous, Sweatheart? (Nessian Fanfiction)

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/667334413461389312/jealous-sweetheart-a-nessian-fanfic-nsfw

Nessian Month Fanfictions

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/655514253028114432/nessian-mating-cermony

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/655657104893476864/please-me-nessian-nsfw

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/655725597272735744/stay-a-nessian-fanfic

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/655795429197348864/hold-on-tight-a-nessian-fanfic

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/655899102705565696/i-want-to-hold-your-hand-a-nessian-fanfic

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/655935530672013312/come-fly-with-me-a-nessian-fanfiction-nsfw

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/656180912713826304/underneath-my-skina-nessian-fanfiction

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/656346956637126656/quality-time

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/656379618521137152/are-you-ready-for-me-a-nessian-fanfic-nsfw

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/656432087571808256/wounds-a-nessian-fanfic

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/656701925758320640/nightmares-a-nessian-fanfiction

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/656704510878695424/my-lovea-nessian-fanfiction

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/656993624089821184/a-sky-full-of-stars-a-nessian-fanfic

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/657003513860292608/adventures-in-babysitting

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/657020061902651392/the-heart-of-the-storm-a-nessian-fanfic

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/657084936728231936/a-conversation-a-nessian-fanfic

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/657261030519554048/a-blade-given-form-a-nessian-fanfic

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/657265504992526337/take-on-me-a-nessian-fanfiction-nsfw

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/657398678154313728/x-marks-the-spot-a-nessian-fanfic

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/657554448544153601/youre-on-a-nessian-fanfic-nsfw

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/657718614441558016/all-i-want-is-you-a-nessian-fanfic

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/657719626181099520/the-map-that-leads-to-you-a-nessian-fanfic

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/657759480181915648/can-i-have-this-dance-a-nessian-fanfiction

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/657813340222111744/true-north-a-nessian-fanfic

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/657991886269710336/you-are-my-home-a-nessian-fanfic

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/658080813611696128/ways-to-say-i-love-you-a-nessian-fanfiction

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/658091406075772928/one-day-at-a-time-a-nessian-fanfiction

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/658244437762342912/you-saved-me-a-nessian-fanfic

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/658258515600736256/ill-find-you-a-nessian-fanfic

Nessian Week 2022 Fics

Lady Death (Prompt: Nessian AU

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/695373572687937536/lady-death-a-nessian-fanfic

Follow The Sound of My Voice (Prompt:Magic)

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/695291066068418560/follow-the-sound-of-my-voice-a-nessian-fanfic

Birthday Cake (Prompt: Food)

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/695207119426830336/birthday-cake-a-nessian-fanfic

Lucien Week 2022 Prompts/Fics

Day 1: https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/696005859222880256/day-one-of-lucien-week-favorite-scene

Day 2: https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/696098027028529152/its-nice-to-have-a-friend-a-lucien-vassa-and

Day 3: https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/696185540021714944/the-fox-and-the-fawn-an-elucien-fanfic

Day 4: https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/696283877071831040/lucien-week-day-4-tragedies

Day 5: https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/696378267889025024/lucien-week-day-5theories-for-the-future

Day 6: https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/696442344668545024/lucien-romance-and-ships

ANON Ask Prompts

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/693966232919113728/how-do-you-feel-about-writing-a-prompt-where

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/693965191563689984/prompt-acowar-nessian-has-to-go-flying-for-some

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/693946941373071360/for-a-spicy-prompts-what-do-you-think-of

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/697201344211189760/if-youre-still-doing-nessian-fluff-can-you-do-one

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/697148473196314624/nesta-has-a-tradition-when-it-turns-cold-in-fall

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/697145742683406336/ok-so-i-got-a-smutty-prompt-for-nessian-but-it

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/697118444560285696/i-want-nessian-on-a-romantic-morning-cooking

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/697070163527434240/you-said-that-you-like-my-ideas-so-ill-bet-on

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/696940306555453440/nessian-where-cassian-is-rough-and-fucks-her-tits

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/696507693315325952/but-tell-me-why-i-want-to-read-your-breeding-kink

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/696498085600362496/nessian-as-parents

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/696483906943418368/my-first-prompt-is-your-version-of-a-threesome

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/695839148544819200/pregnancy-prompt-nesta-is-pregnant-with-her-and

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/695793160165687296/acowar-nessian-grumpynesta-x-sunshinecas-in

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/695746878730649600/modern-nessian-where-one-of-them-goes-down-on-the

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/695700070979534848/hi-queen-for-the-spicy-prompts-cassian-edging

https://darklove9314-blog.tumblr.com/post/695659042999271424/i-would-like-to-see-nesta-and-cassian-telling-the

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