At the sound of Mor’s voice, Cassian snatched his hand back and pivoted.
…Cassian looked over his shoulder, flicking his eyes up to her for a moment. "Just a sprain. Will be back to normal tomorrow, now." He showed off the wrapped arm as if it were proof, his other hand continuing to hold Nesta's.
Warnings: Possessive Beahvior | Word Count: 585 | Read on AO3
Author's Notes: So...I mentioned once doing a scene re-write of one of the worst scenes in all of ACOTAR. Yes, you know which one. The offensive, horrendous hand-let-go.
In case it isn't clear, the italics are all pulled directly from ACOWAR (all credit to SJM, or whatever you want to give her for this 👀), the cross-outs are the part of the scene I "removed" and "replaced".
And when she’d tied it neatly, his wrist wrapped in white, when Nesta made to pull back, Cassian gripped her fingers in his good hand. She lifted her gaze to his. “Thank you,” he said hoarsely.
Nesta did not yank her hand away.
Did not open her mouth for some barbed retort.
She only stared and stared at him, at the breadth of his shoulders, even more powerful in that beautiful black armor, at the strong column of his tan neck above it, his wings. And then at his hazel eyes, still riveted to her face.
Cassian brushed a thumb down the back of her hand.
Nesta opened her mouth at last, and I braced myself—
At the sound of Mor’s voice, Cassian snatched his hand back and pivoted.
Nesta dragged her stare from his face—down to her now-empty hand, her fingers still curled as if his palm lay there. Cassian didn’t look at Nesta as she rose, snatching up the pitcher, and muttered something about getting more water from inside the tent.
…Cassian looked over his shoulder, flicking his eyes up to her for a moment. "Just a sprain. Will be back to normal tomorrow, now." He showed off the wrapped arm as if it were proof, his other hand continuing to hold Nesta's.
His gaze fell back to Nesta, as if she were its home, the place his eyes belonged and would always find their way back to.
The move had Mor studying to pair closely, her eyes landing on the linked hands. Her lips pulled tight against her mouth, something building in her stare that had me feeling the need to speak up.
"Mor, come sit with me." I tapped the empty space on other side of the log as Rhys. "We're just cutting up extra bandages."
"Is that what you were doing?" she asked in a cold voice as she took the seat, her stare now fixed on Nesta, who actually seemed to retreat slightly from it.
I'd never seen her do something like that. To be so…tentative. Unsure.
I didn't like it.
Thankfully, I wasn't the only one to notice.
"And thank goodness they were," Cassian offered. I couldn't help but notice the muscles in his good arm tense slightly as he squeezed Nesta's hands, still holding his like a lifeline. "Meant she had one to spare for me."
"You weren't even going to acknowledge it," Nesta mumbled, her voice low enough I wouldn't have heard her were I still human.
It drew a laugh from Rhys. "He's not the brightest star in our sky."
"At least I'm a star," Cassian shot back, grinning playfully at his brother.
The two tried to keep the conversation to light banter, but it didn't ease the tension. Mor couldn't stop looking between Cassian and Nesta, to Nesta's lap, as if their hands were one of the most offensive sights she'd seen.
Nesta squirmed beneath the stare. "I should probably-"
She attempted to stand but was cut off by Cassian gripping her tighter, holding her there.
"Stay," he breathed, soft and pleading. "You need to eat, too."
I doubted she'd ever been as wide-eyed as when she looked at Cassian in that moment. When she nodded.
Cassian gave her a gentle smile that felt so intimate I looked away. I found Rhys's eyes already staring at me and grounded myself in them before I did something stupid like jump into Nesta's mind just to find out what she was thinking.
Author's Notes: I wrote this drabble a while ago, it was odd to write from Feyre's perspective, and first person, but it felt fitting to do so. I kept the scene fairly short, since they wouldn't spend that much time focused on Nessian (the fools), and planned on doing more later that day and the next day - scenes from Nesta's perspective. Scenes that may have happened had it all gone down more like this.
However, I don't see that happening any time soon, and I've had so little time to write recently (and the time I do have is now split between fan fiction and my original idea) that even my other WIPs are super slow going. So I thought I'd just share this, maybe give us some serotonin, a small fix we all wished wasn't necessary. Hope you enjoy!
@live-the-fangirl-life @generalnesta @secretlovelybeauty @nestaisgod @julemmaes @boredserpent @autumnbabylon @angelic-voice-1997 @moodymelanist @sv0430 @nesquik-arccheron @gwynrielsupremacy @katekatpattywack @moonstoneriver77 @deedz-thrillerkilller16 @swankii-art-teacher @lemonade-coolattas @whoreforgwynriel @emily-gsh @my-fan-side @champanheandluxxury @sayosdreams @simpingfornestaarcheron @perseusannabeth @clemidansleschoux @meher-sumedha @labetenoir @vinylcryes @shinya-hiiragi @starryblueskies7
If you'd like to be added to my tag list, let me know!
Nesta Archeron x Cassian - Valentine's Date
“I guess you could say I’m a hopeless romantic.” / “I would have just stopped at hopeless.
Masterlist | Read on Ao3 | Valentine's Collection
Cassian had waited until the end of the day, figuring he would have the best luck without the audience of their coworkers. He lost track of how many times his eyes strayed to the bright bouquet of roses sitting on the edge of his desk.
He’d been overthinking this all day, was it too cliche? Would she just laugh in his face? Take one look at the deep red flowers and walk away.
Was Valentine’s Day the worst possible day to ask someone out? At least it wasn’t the first time he’d tried getting Nesta Archeron to go out with him—was that better or worse?
Finally, there was no time left to question if he should or should not.
Making sure to speed through his end-of-the-day responsibilities, he was able to leave work at the same time Nesta did. Almost same time. He waited until she’d gotten in the elevator and watched as the number began to descend before he called for an elevator himself.
The last thing he wanted was for her to think was that he was cornering her.
When he stepped out of the elevator, his eyes scanned the lobby, searching for the golden-brown hair or pencil skirt that he would never be able to mistake. There. She turned the corner outside the building and Cassian hurried out the front door to catch up to her, trying his hardest to keep the bouquet intact.
He called her name, not caring as passersby glanced at him. She made no acknowledgment of hearing him, but he knew she had.
When he eventually caught up to her, Nesta didn’t slow, barely sparing Cassian a second glance as he half-walked half-jogged to keep up with her brisk pace. When they turned a corner, he spun around to walk backwards so that he could look at her while she rolled her eyes at him.
Without warning, Nesta stopped. Cassian had to backtrack a few paces as he’d kept hurrying down the sidewalk. When he got back to Nesta, she had her arms crossed and was watching him with an arched brow, waiting for him to speak.
They moved to the side, out of the way from the flow of pedestrians. He considered it a good sign the way her expression softened a fraction as she finally seemed to see the bouquet of roses in his hand.
“Nesta,” he started, then paused as he realized that now that he had her full, undivided attention, he’d lost any speech he’d practiced or prepared.
Her perfectly sculpted brow rose higher expectedly. “Was there something you wanted to say to me like a mature adult instead of in a hurried rush down the block? Or were you just going to stand there gawking?”
“I—” he cleared his throat, holding them towards her so she could see them better. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”
She stared at the flowers. “You chased me down the block to tell me Happy Valentine’s Day when you could’ve done so at any time today?”
“I wanted to wish you a happy Valentine’s day, and give you these.” He went on as her eyes widened, understanding that the beautiful flowers were bought for her. “I didn't think you would like it if our nosey coworkers were around to watch.”
She fixed him with her sharp stare. “So you thought I would prefer it out on the public sidewalk, surrounded by people?”
His grin widened, “They’re strangers. It’s different.”
She was silent a minute and Cassian wished nothing more than to be able to know what was pinning in the gorgeous brain of hers. “You bought me flowers.” She said it with no indication of whether or not Cassian had fucked up.
“I did, and…” He drew out the word, still holding the bouquet. “I am here, once again, to ask if you would consider letting me take you out.” Her face flattened and she opened her mouth but Cassian held up a hand. “Nes, I have wanted to take you out since the first day I laid eyes on you. You walked into that office like a queen to court. I’ve never seen someone cut those corporate pricks to pieces the way you do. You’re witty and intelligent, and always meet my wisecracks with fiercer ones of your own. And I’d be lying if I said your killer ass wasn’t a plus. You’re stunning. But you know that. Please, Nesta, will you go out with me?” he took a breath before adding, “If you say no, then I’ll never bother you with that question again. You have my word.”
Nesta listened to him without letting her gaze stray from his. When he finished, he waited for her response with a pounding heart.
“You’re really asking me out on Valentine’s day.”
Cassian shrugged. “I guess you could say I’m a hopeless romantic.” He told her, regaining his usual charisma and confidence as he continued to hold the bouquet out for her.
Her gaze darted between his face and the flowers, as if searching for any sign of teasing or trickery. She made no move to take the roses but she took a step closer to him so that her crossed arms brushed against the soft petals. “I would have just stopped at hopeless.”
A snort burst out of Cassian’s mouth and he could’ve sworn the corner of her mouth ticked up.
“Hopeless for you,” he shot back, his grin spreading as she eyed the flowers again.
In one smooth move, Nesta reached forward and grabbed the roses from his hand.
“One. Chance.” She told him, her blue-grey eyes piercing into his, as she stepped back. Her grip tightened on the bouquet. “I’ll give you one chance to take me out.”
He blinked. Cassian honestly hadn’t expected her to accept. Their flirty and antagonistic banter was part of a carefully molded, mutually rewarding relationship. She got to hear him charm her, constantly goading and complimenting her. And he got to go toe-to-toe with the brilliant Nesta Archeron.
“That’s all I need.” He told her with unhesitating conviction. He didn’t tell her that he’d been planning the perfect, and until a second ago, imaginary, date for her for a very long time.
She tilted her head and watched him for another moment, then her lips rose in a small, genuine smile. Cassian thought the wind might have been knocked out of him. He’d never seen Nesta smile like that. Sure, she’d grinned or smirked at him while poising her next verbal attack in their constant spar of wits. But she had never offered him the soft, happy smile she wore now.
“Then make it good.” She told him, spinning in her heel and walking away from him, carefully gripping the flowers so they wouldn’t get ruffled in the wind.
“I’ll make it the best damned date you’ve ever been on,” he called to her, watching the swish of her hips as she walked.
Nesta glanced over her shoulder, ignoring the people passing by who gave them odd looks and met his eyes, her own dancing with amusement. “You better.”
@acourtofsnakes @allthebooksunderthemoon @astra-ad-mare @becarefuloflove @booklover41802 @charlizeed @cookiemonsterwholovesbooks @danibutterr @doubt-less @emily-gsh @enormousbooklover @foughtconquered @fromthelibraryofemilyj @hakunamatatazz @i-have-but-one-brain-cell @in-love-with-caramel-macchiato @jorjy-jo @lemonade-coolattas @mariamuses @mayhemories @midsizewitch @rowaelinrambling @morganofthewildfire @nerdperson524 @rowaelinismyotp @rowansfirebringer @sayosdreams @sheharahu @sleeping-and-books @stardelia @story-scribbler @superspiritfestival @themoonthestarsthesuriel @swankii-art-teacher @tomtenadia @westofmoon @whimsicallyreading @moodymelanist @realbookloverproblems @gracie-rosee @julemmaes @yesdreamblog @the-regal-warrior @rowanaelinn @thestoriesyoutell @autumnbabylon @sunflowermoonshinewrites @maastrash @annejulianneh111 @the-lonelybarricade
I may be a little bit obsessed with acotar characters, lately..👀
Olympics part 2?
The time has come.
The Olympics start in 2 weeks and as you all know… I have a history of writing fanfic while I watch the events. Going for Gold is I think the second most popular story I’ve ever published, which is nuts to me considering I just wrote it in a fever dream with no editing. I’m not sure if people really liked the action or the ensemble cast or maybe just that it was current?
Anyway, as I’m considering potentially doing it again I have 3 questions to ask anyone who reads my stuff:
1. Is it too soon for another olympics AU?
2. Is it weird to basically do the same concept over again but with different sports and dynamics? (All the same couple for the most part, I think I’ll assign people to different countries as well, but like it is the same idea)
3. If I did, HYPOTHETICALLY, do this… what sports do people think the characters would compete in?
Right now I’m obsessed with the idea of Nesta and Eris as an ice dancing pair (for obvious reasons, not to mention the jealousy potential 😈), Cassian is obviously a snow boarder bro, Azriel ski jumps, Rhys I can’t place. Maybe biathlon or it could also be fun if he’s literally just along for the ride lol. Gwyn I think also figure skating but maybe skiing? I think Elain might get in on the action this year as part of the curling team with Emerie but I’m not sure about Lucien.
What do you guys think? Do you want more olympics? What sport would everyone do? Any other characters you want to see?
I’m not saying I’ll for sure do this, and I don’t have the same connection to the Winter Olympics as I do the summer, so I’m not sure. I’m on the fence. Please discuss below lol
Gwyn: how's the mom life going?
Nesta: it's alright, I just didn't expected all the crying
Emerie: but aren't newborn babies supposed to cry all the time?
Nesta: oh the baby is fine, I'm talking about Cassian
*Cassian crying with the baby on his arms*: YOU'RE THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME, IM GONNA LOVE YOU SO MUCH THAT NO FAE WILL EVER BE GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU
Nesta: he has been like that for 3 days now
The Men of ACOTAR as fathers
(Including Rhysand, Cassian, Azriel, and Lucien)
Rhysand: The Encouraging Father
Don’t get me wrong, Rhysand is doting AF, but his number one priority is making sure his children have a sense of autonomy.
He knows he leads a dangerous life, and wants them prepared as possible should something happen to him (though he would never say as much).
But he doesn’t point them in any direction. He lets them discover their passions and encourages them to pursue them to the fullest extent.
Nyx confesses that he would like to be High Lord someday. Rhysand says he wants Nyx to accompany him to the next grievance meeting.
Nyx changes his mind and says he wants to pursue art. Rhysand tells him to attend his mother’s classes at her studio.
It is so important to Rhysand that they follow their dreams to the fullest.
He’s also the king of banishing nightmares and monsters. Dries tears and replaces them with fits of laughter until his kids fall back asleep.
Does not give a fuck about things getting messy or dirty. Treats his shirts like napkins. Wears food stains like badges of honor. Paint on the rug — whatever, it’s better that way. Torn pages out of an ancient text — it’s fine. Starfall glitter all over the drapes — looks like they had fun!
He’s also, surprisingly, the champion of bedtime stories and silly faces.
Kid count: 3 (one boy, two girls)
Cassian: The Sappy Father
Immediately, right off the bat, Cassian is wrapped around his daughter’s finger (eventually daughters’ fingers).
And he’s a big ass cry baby for every event, every achievement they make (and yeah, so is Nesta).
First word. Tears. First steps. Tears. First flight. Tears. First lost tooth. Absolutely sobs.
He’s not very protective, but that’s because he is highly encouraging that his children defend themselves. He calls them his “Valkyries.”
“They pushed you? Push them back.” “They glared at you? Well, you know how your mother glares? Give them that and see what happens.” “Who yelled at you? Roar in their face.”
He’s also pretty relaxed when it comes to dating (Nesta is the more scathing when it comes to vetting potential partners). Cassian is the ultimate wingman (no pun intended) for his daughters. “Oh, yeah? Petra is impressive with spears. You two should spar.” “Athena is probably the funniest of all my daughters.” “Lyria was right. You are charming.” It’s a little embarrassing to his girls but much appreciated.
He’s also the father who is asking for more kids. Anytime Nesta shows the slightest affection for someone else’s children, he throws her a roguish smile. She cuts him off after four daughters, but he gets awfully close to breaking her will power on more than a few occasions.
Kid count: 4 (four daughters and is perpetually begging for just one more)
Azriel: The Papa Bear
The most protective father of all the bat boys.
A scraped knee. “What happened? Who did this? Oh, you fell? You’re sure you weren’t pushed? You can tell me.” A single tear. “Who said something? Tell me their name. I’ll go to their parents.” A tutor makes a complaint. “Sounds like you’re shit at your job and intimidated by a child.”
He’s also the surprisingly gentle father. He encourages tears and long talks about feelings. As a result his children come to him for everything and there are no secrets they withhold from him. It makes Gwyn a little jealous.
Azriel is the only dad that gets invited out with the next generation kids. The inner circle will be chilling in the river house and Nyx will show up with the other kids to say: “Are you sure you don’t want to come, Uncle Az? It’s open stage night at Rita’s.” Rhysand and Cassian are both shocked and jealous, but Azriel waves off the High Lord’s son lazily, “Not tonight. Have fun.” There are groans of disappointment from their kids before they depart because Uncle Az is the best and he can drink all of them under the table.
Azriel is also the champion of midnight snacks. He can sneak you into the kitchen and prepare an entire feast at two in the morning without making a sound. At first it’s just him and Gwyn. But then their daughter has bouts of insomnia and joins them. Then their son can’t sleep because of nightmares and joins them. Then their other son is jealous everyone is up but him and midnight snacks are often a family event.
He’s also, of course, the king of lullabies. Together he and Gwyn can get any child to sleep, and their family has often called for their assistance in getting their kids to shut their eyes for just a few hours.
Surprisingly, despite his worries of being a good father, Azriel is also the father everyone goes to for advice on parenting since he has the most open line of communication with all the kids.
Kid count: 3 (one daughter, two boys)
Lucien: The Fun Dad
Lucien agrees to have a child with Elain after many years. He’s never really considered fatherhood, but he has nothing against it and his mate wants very badly to be a mother. So he agrees. Excited to be a father, but not exactly counting down the days like Cassian or being hyper-prepared like Azriel.
So it takes him by surprise when he realizes: “Holy shit, I love kids.”
Because his son always laughs at his jokes and his daughter thinks he’s the “funnest dad in the entire world.”
Elain isn’t surprised (not just because she’s a seer, but because it’s obvious) when Lucien wants more kids.
And more and more and more. Lucien adores parenthood so much that he confesses he wants as many as he can get his hands on. With the help of Azriel he hand makes an enormous bed for him and Elain where all of his children can swarm him in the mornings.
And Elain loves being a mom. They make an amazing team. She kisses away the scrapes and Lucien teases away the tears.
Eventually, when they become teenagers, his kids find him a little embarrassing, but Lucien thrives on the “dad, you are embarrassing me” energy. He knows they’ll outgrow it for one, but he also sees right through them. He’s too self assured to overlook that they’re smiling whenever he demands a kiss goodbye or that they quietly laugh when he makes a dumb joke.
And when they grow up and move out, similar to Azriel, Lucien becomes his kids’ best friend. They go to him to complain and to cry and to ask for advice.
Lucien also collects each and every handmade gift his kids give him. He stores them safely after putting them on display for all to see for at least a week.
Oh, and Lucien is amazing at doing his daughter’s hair. In fact, Cassian comes to him for advice and recommendations for hair products.
Kid count: 6 (five boys, one girl… for now)
Let's talk about Sisterhood
Nesta and Elain vs. Nesta and Gwyn
First, let's look at Nesta and Elain's relationship
Nesta was willing to marry Tomas so Elain could be fed and taken care of
Nesta was willing to sell her body on the streets for the money to feed Elain
Nesta was willing to go to Prythian for Elain's safety
After being boiled alive by the Cauldron, Nesta's biggest concern was Elain and the trauma that Elain was forced to endure
During those months after Hybern when Elain was suffering, Nesta stayed by her side. Every. Single. Day. Making sure that Elain was alright and that she didn't kill herself.
The one time that Nesta needed Elain, when Nesta was suffering, all she wanted was for Elain to come with her to some of her favorite taverns. But Elain couldn't be bothered because she wouldn't be comfortable in those taverns.
Elain chose comfortability over Nesta, her sister.
Now let's look at Nesta and Gwyn's relationship
Nesta and Gwyn have helped each other face their fears and their traumas.
Gwyn came to practice, and became a warrior, because Nesta encouraged her to, and then Gwyn was able to encourage other priestesses to join the training.
Gwyn introduced Nesta to the Valkyries, the ribbon, Mind-Stilling, their training and ambush techniques, etc.
Nesta helped give Gwyn the confidence she needed to begin to face Merrill and the world outside the library.
And when Cassian broke Nesta's heart, Gwyn left the library, without hesitation, to go comfort Nesta. Was Gwyn scared? Yes, so scared she almost puked. But she went anyways, because Nesta was more important to her than her fear.
Gwyn chose Nesta, her sister, over her comfortability.
Elain might be Nesta's blood-sister, but Gwyn is her sister in all the ways that count.
nesta and elain archeron, by me ♡
Height in ACOTAR
Recently I had some conversations about the height of the characters in ACOTAR and I found the topic so interesting that I decided to make a post based on my interpretation of what I read in the books. Let's go ☺️
The Archeron Sisters
Throughout the series and in the various physical descriptions we've had, according to my memory, there was never a numerical perspective on the height of the characters, except for this passage in ACOSF:
Through this passage we can interpret that Nesta isn't a short female, and that she's at least 5cm taller than Feyre (I will convert to centimeters because the measurement system in Brazil is different).
Unfortunately, I don't remember any mention of Elain's height, however, I'll interpret that she would be a little shorter than Feyre or even at the same height something between 160cm or 165cm.
Having Nesta as the tallest among the Archeron sisters, with 170cm. I thought about this number because that's the minimum height for a model and it would be an overall perspective of a tall woman.
Another mention related to height made in ACOSF is directed to Gwyn, being described as a female taller than the average for a High Fae.
From Gwyn's description it's clear that she's the tallest among the Valkyries. But as for Emerie's height, I had some doubt about it. In her description Nesta said that despite being Illyrian, by the color of her skin, it's likely that Emerie has a Dawn Court bloodline. Making her not only Illyrian, but also High Fae for a distant heritage.
Overall Illyrians are naturally taller than High Fae, so I figured that Emerie would be a tall female, but not too much. Ranging from 170cm to 175cm.
The Bat Boys
Cassian was always described as the tallest, not only among his brothers, but also in comparison to other Illyrians (who are tall by nature). I figured 200cm would make him tall enough to stand out and it would be the minimal height to make his interactions possible, because making him even more tall, it wouldn'd work.
Honestly I don't remember an exact description of Rhysand and Azriel's height, only that Cassian is taller than both of them. I also seen some people mentioned that in the books it was said that Azriel is taller than Rhys. I don't remember that, but I will consider possible, since Rhys is mixed.
Some of us already guessed that Rhys was born without wings, because since the beginning of the series he often conjures them through magic. But this confirmation is important, as it demonstrates that Rhys inherited more High Fae traits than Illyrians. I think that it's possible for Azriel to be taller than Rhys, because as I said the Illyrians are naturally taller.
It's important to remember these are only interpretations, where I understand that Az should be 190cm and Rhys 180cm. But who knows, maybe they have the same height, something around 185cm, both situations are possible.
The Inner Circle
Well, respectively between males and females, we can say that Cassian and Nesta are the tallest in the Inner Circle.
As for Mor, I don't remember any descriptions of her height, or what is the general height for a Fae female (only that Gwyn is taller than most of them). But as Mor is a pure High Fae, I would say that her height can vary between 165cm or 170cm.
In the books it's described that Amren is so short that she could wear children's clothes, like Rhys mentioned about the leathers that Amren used in ACOWAR. For this perspective 145cm is a reasonable height, and as much it's a surprising height for a grown woman, I have people in my family in a similar situation, like my grandma with 145cm and my sister with 148cm. So yes, it's possible.
And now that we've described the height of most characters. Here we have the height difference of some shipps:
I hope you enjoyed it, I am available to answer your questions ☺️
Nothing makes me happier than writing a simping Cassian. Except maybe reading a simping Cassian.
Nesta's eyes narrowed as she looked toward him. "Guess I need a better teacher."
"The teaching isn't the problem, Your Majesty. It's your focus."
"And what's wrong with my focus?" She crossed her arms over her chest and held her head high.
Cassian flashed her a smirk, taking a step closer. She smelled heavenly, like the first light of a winter's day. It consumed him wholly, or that may have been the icy gaze that seemed to pierce straight to his soul.
It's not on me.
“because my mate taught me well” NOBODY TOUCH ME
Feyre: so, how was the honeymoon?
Nesta: Cassian got so drunk he tried to set our marriage certificate on fire
Nesta: he said "good luck trying to return me without the receipt"
I’ve seen a couple iterations of this meme so here’s my take
Valkyries & Bat Boys as Cats
Gwyn being dressed by Nesta and Emerie
Azriel arriving at the Illyrian Camp
The boys listening to Rhysand's mother
Cassian & Azriel when Rhysand fell in love with Feyre
Gwyn & Emerie
Nesta & Gwyn
Nesta, Emerie & Gwyn
In which to soothe Nesta’s fear of being a bad mother, without directly calling it out, Cassian reassures her. Most commonly in the form of calling her “Momma.”
Because @frecklesandfiction is having a tough week and @thecrispypotatochip asked
She’s a little embarrassed when she’s the first one of them to bring it up, but after summoning some courage, four decades after being mated, Nesta finally asks him.
In the most roundabout way…
“I… I’m ready.”
Cassian raises his brows from his seat on the sofa. Nesta is curled up on the rug by the library fire, a book in her hand.
“Me too,” he replies apprehensively. “But what for?” Cassian adds with a smirk.
Nesta can’t bring herself to meet his eyes so she stares into the hearth. “For a baby.”
And he’s silent. She still can’t make herself look at him. Gods after so many years she’s finally rendered the male speechless.
But he finally interrupts her in the softest of voices: “You’re… you’re sure?”
Nesta’s head whips in his direction, her expression carefully blank. “Yes.”
And he smiles wider than she’s ever seen him smile before. And it sets her heart on fire.
And Nesta thinks that the worst is over. She’s breeched the topic. Now all they have to do is conceive.
And that’s the fun part, right?
Cassian can tell that Nesta is relieved. He can tell because the tense line of her shoulders has relaxed and because she unconsciously releases a heavy exhale.
And while making the baby is the fun part… he is prepared for what will certainly prove to be the most difficult aspect of this pregnancy.
The doubts that will arise in Nesta.
He knows they will surface because they’ve already surfaced for him.
He had an irrational fear that he would suddenly develop the urge to abandon his family. Like father like son, right?
No. Rhysand had helped him disperse of that fear quickly.
Whenever Cassian had watched over Nyx, his brother would casually remark: “Keep being so good with him and he may assume that you’re his father.”
Or even going so far as to say: “You’ll make a fine father some day, brother.”
And over and over and over again he said such things to Cassian till Cassian realized that all his preconceived fears of being a poor father were foolish.
After all, what sort of a poor father consciously promised to ensure his children never felt unloved or unwanted?
“Should we… get started?” Nesta asks apprehensively, bringing him back to the present.
Unable to wipe the smile from his face Cassian replies: “Oh yes. Right away.”
They get lucky. It only take a few months before Nesta is pregnant. Cassian scents it one morning when Nesta is exiting their bathing chambers.
She’s drying her hair with a towel when the scent hits him like a freight train.
Nesta meets his eyes and his face splits into a smile before he starts laughing.
“Really?” Nesta says, stilling before him.
Cassian nods and tosses aside the reports he had been reading, clambering out of bed to embrace his mate.
As he holds her he feels the bond between them tremble. She’s nervous. It hurts his heart.
So he presses a kiss into her hair and whispers fondly. “Congratulations, Momma.”
And then the bond is humming and glowing and he smiles to himself, self-satisfied.
He places a calloused palm over her flat stomach, and murmurs a word of thanks in her ear.
And makes a silent promise that he’ll call her “Momma” every time he feels the bond waver with insecurity. He’ll reaffirm her every chance he gets.
“Good morning, Momma,” he says when she joins him for breakfast.
“Sorry, Momma,” he says as she wretches into the basin and he holds back her hair.
“Here you go, Momma,” he croons, handing her a cup of ginger root tea for her nausea.
“Rest, Momma,” he whispers as she lays down for a nap.
“Look at you, Momma,” he grins when he catches her looking down at the lump between her hips.
“Aw, Momma,” he murmurs, when she cries over the soup she spilled.
“Come here, Momma,” he smiles admiring her noticeably larger breasts.
“Looking good, Momma,” he remarks, watching her decorate the nursery — because there’s something very beautiful about her folding that baby blanket.
“What’s this, Momma?” he whistles when he discovers her examining her now noticeable bump in the mirror.
“What’s wrong, Momma?” he asks softly, drying the tears she can’t explain.
“Feel that, Momma?” he chuckles when they feel the baby kick.
“Hey, give me that, Momma,” he grumbles, grabbing the heavy jug of water she is trying to carry.
“Lift your legs, Momma,” he commands, prompting her to place her swollen ankles in his lap so that he can massage them.
“Are you ready, Momma?” he asks the night before the baby is due.
“Great job, Momma,” he half laughs half cries as she finishes pushing.
“She’s perfect, Momma,” he sniffs, cradling his daughter.
“Here you go, Momma,” he says handing her their baby.
“You both are beautiful, Momma,” he smiles as she nurses the baby in their home.
And when his daughter’s first word is “momma” Cassian couldn’t be happier.
Because Nesta’s eyes are immediately tearing up and she’s applauding her daughter, and telling her that she’s right.
But then Nesta turns to Cassian and points, her daughter follows her mother’s finger and she meets her father’s eyes.
Nesta inclines her head and says “Now can you say: Papa?”
And Cassian chuckles gruffly, because he knows it will be a little while longer before her vocabulary expand—
“Paw-puh,” his daughter says.
And Cassian smiles.
Reminder that even though Nesta was exhausted, dehydrated, and miserable, she immediately moved to help Cassian because she thought he was the one falling:
Her ankle twisted on a loose stone, and she gritted her teeth against the lash of pain, but continued. Cassian hadn’t so much as stumbled once. She would know: she watched him all day long. But he stumbled now. Nesta lurched forward, but— No. That was her. She was the one falling. (ACOSF, Pg498)
More Nessian love
Once again, I want to make sure I understand something in ACOWAR.
So, Rhys chose to only shelter Velaris because it was all he could do with the power he had left after Amarantha stole his. I get it. Sucks for everyone outside Velaris, but I get it.
But in ACOWAR, during the war with Hybern, when Nesta found out what the King was planning on doing with the Cauldron - where on the battlefield he was aiming for - she had literally a second to make a decision. Save the one Illyrian she could or let them all die.
She chose to save Cassian, the only life she could save, and Rhys almost SCOLDED her for it?? It's not like Nesta used the Cauldron to take out their Illyrian aerial unit.
Rhys is a hypocrite.
Also, it pains me to see how much this decision affected Nesta in ACOSF. She felt like she failed because she was only able to save one life. Did anyone ever thank her for saving Cassian's life or tell her that the Illyrian deaths weren't her fault? No, no they didn't. And then they wonder why she fell off the edge so badly after the war.