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#nesta has biggest dick energy
thewhelk · 3 years
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My favorite thing is when I’m reading a fic with background elriel (I only read nessian/nesta fics, surprise?) and lucien just starts slut-shaming elain like he isn’t the most respectful man in prythian.
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sjm characters and how big I think their dicks would be (idc about canon info) also this is my version of controversial opinions no i don’t care if you disagree
aelin: biggest dick of any character in all 3 series’s
rowan: above average. not aelin sized
choal: my guy is microscopic. but don’t feel bad for yrene bc he makes up for it in other ways.
yrene: average.
dorian: he has a big dick and he knows how to use it
manon: but her dick would be bigger. she actually has such big dick energy tho
elide: ok underrated. but huge
lorcan: on the bigger side but eh. not as big as rowan tbh
lysandra: i love her but a little smaller than average
aedion: less than microscopic
feyre: bigger wingspan then all three batboys
rhysand: average. this makes me sad but like that’s the realistic vibe I get
cassian: above average
azriel: below average. he knows how to use it and that’s what matters
nesta: second only to aelin
mor: below average
elain:small. homegirls dick so small you can barely see it. subtle or not so subtle dig abt her personality
lucien: big ish
emerie: ginormous. biggest wingspan period.
gwyn: bigger than average
amren: would never have a dick
bryce: small. sorry bb
hunt: huge. oh i know it’s big
danika: big shes packing
tharion: like huge bitch huge
ruhn: tiny.
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nesemryn · 3 years
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I wake up to a whole discussion about Illyrian cocks. Nobody asked for my opinion on this but I'm giving it anyway. Rhysand radiates small dick energy. I'm not saying this just because I don't like him but his aura is just screaming "small dick small dick". Now to Cassian and Azriel, it would make sense if Cassian's was the biggest because of his height and how he's built. But if you do want to argue that Azriel's dick is the biggest, then Cassian's is the thickest I'm guessing. But I guess we'll never know until he thrusts into Nesta for the first time 💃💃 (People have been saying he has a strong pelvic thrust) Besides we can all agree that Cassian has the nicest ass.
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sabrinaacarpenters · 3 years
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I know that Azriel canonically has the biggest dick but I ignore that because his energy is actually the smallest out of the bat boys
Same applies to how Elain is supposed the be prettiest Archeron sister but I know it’s Nesta
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Unplanned encounter
A/N: Hello everyone! I’m back with another short story for your reading enjoyment. This was a fun one to write and was inspired by likehemmins prompt. I tweaked some things here and there and used Feyre and Rhysand for once in my stories! I thought it be fun to switch things up. I hope you all enjoy this and would love to hear your thoughts on it. Thank you all for reading and without further ado lets begin~ As always the characters do not belong to me.
The prompt: Imagine that you’ve been stood up by your douche of a boyfriend on date night and the waitress keeps asking if you’re ready to order but you keep asking for more time hoping he’s just late. People are starting to look at you with those apologetic looks like they know and you start to feel worse and worse about the whole situation. As you finally decide to leave a boy you’ve never seen before sits down and explains loudly, “Sorry I’m late babe, traffic is crazy right now.” He quietly adds, “I’m Michael, just go with it yeah? Whoever didn’t bother showing up is a dick.” And so you go with it because he’s being sweet. After the unplanned date he asks you out for real this time.
I glanced into my mirror for the sixth time that evening eager on giving myself something to do. I made it seem as if I were checking the status of my makeup although I had a very limited amount on. Instead, I stared at my reflection, inspecting the few red spots on my cheeks and the blackheads along my nose. I frowned while extending the mirror as far back as my arm would reach and pulled it back to my face discreetly. At least no one could see the blemishes from afar.
With a sigh, I shut the mirror and placed it back into the bag beside me. In replace of it I pulled out my phone and slid it onto the table. My fingertip taped the glass preparing to read the time. As the screen lit up my stomach sunk a bit deeper into my body. It was 7:43.
This meant I’d been sitting at a two seated table for forty-three minutes waiting for a date that became clear wouldn’t show up. However, my heart stubbornly held onto a sliver of hope that he could still possibly appear. Maybe he was running extremely late or suddenly became caught up in a family accident. Hundreds of scenarios swirled around in my head ready to accept either one.
I shook my head as the rational thoughts countered the hopeful ones. In reality, he would have called or texted to reschedule. Instead, the evidence was clear enough for me to determine that my date stood me up. I couldn’t wrap my head around why but instead of dwelling on a guy I barely knew after one date I could head home and paint instead. My studio was my safe haven. Nothing negative could interfere while I was hard at work, certainly not any man.
With each minute I could clearly visualize the rest of my night and it slowly became more appealing than sitting at a table alone in a crowded restaurant. As my gaze lifted up from my phone I spotted several pairs of eyes glancing my way with matching snickers. The slight embarrassment I felt almost encouraged me to march out the doors with two middle fingers pointed high at the sky but I refrained from doing so. Instead, I packed my belongings.
“Miss, do you wish to order something?” A waitress paused to my side, a notepad and pen in hand. I looked at her apologetically. Her green eyes stared back with equal understanding as if telling me it happened to her too once.
My stomach churned and audibly let out a growl at the thought of food. I haven’t eaten since breakfast and didn’t have the energy to make something when I was expecting to eat out without the hassle of doing dishes in the first place. I’ll order out then head home.
“Actually I would like to order a dish to go if that’s alright?” I spoke.
The waitress replied, “Of course, what would you like?”
Fortunately, when you sit in a restaurant long enough staring at a menu, you tend to memorize it. “Could I just have a burger with fries?” I spoke handing her the two menus.
“They’ll be right out,” she spoke softly offering a small smile. Just as she came she steered off towards the kitchen refilling waters and taking more orders on the way there.
I placed my cheek in my hand avoiding the subtle glances others kept giving me. Instead, I glanced out the window watching the pink sky fade into black.
“Hey babe, I’m so sorry I’m late. The traffic is crazy right now in the city,” a voice spoke from across the table. My eyes immediately fell onto a man who swiftly slid into the chair opposite me. The figure shrugged a sturdy coat off his shoulders revealing a well-fitted suit underneath. “Sorry for this sudden encounter but let’s go along with it, yeah? My name’s Rhysand,” he whispered leaning in.
I opened my mouth to speak but I was so caught off guard. I never expected something like this to happen. My mind raked for replies but it came up empty handed, too distracted by his features. His raven black hair was finely combed and complimented the golden skin peeking underneath the collar of his shirt.
I immediately shut down the thoughts and met those intriguing violet eyes filled with curiosity and mischief. It dawned on me that I still haven’t yet replied to his proposition before. A laugh almost escaped me at the thought of agreeing to it but honestly, anything was better than sitting alone for a couple more minutes.
“Sure, why not,” I gave him a half smile then continued with a laugh, “Thanks for sparing me the humiliation.”
A breath of air escaped him as he shook his head slightly from side to side with an incredulous look. It seemed as though he were trying to comprehend something.
“Whoever didn’t bother showing up made a huge mistake. If I were them, I wouldn’t miss an opportunity to have a meal with you,” his voice effortlessly came out as if practiced.
He certainly knew how to flirt. And to my enjoyment, I wouldn’t mind him continuing.
That sultry gaze of his met my bewildered one. I wanted to remain collected and unfazed by whatever this situation was but this seemed too good to be true.
“Thank you, I wouldn’t miss a meal with myself either,” I attempted to joke but inwardly shook myself.
A grin spread across his features at the comment. “So she has charm and humor. My two favorite qualities,” he paused before continuing, “Also I would love to learn your name if of course, you’re comfortable in revealing that. I know I’m practically still a stranger.”
Well, he hit the nail on the mark with that statement. Usually encounters like this with strangers scream danger or risk but my conscious told me otherwise. I wanted to know who he was because there was just something about him I couldn’t shake my mind off.
“Well let’s change that. I’m Feyre,” I extended my fingers out casually towards him.
He grasped my hand carefully watching my reactions closely in case he went too far. “Feyre,” he whispered testing my name out. “It’s beautiful.”
“Your's as well, Rhysand,” I tested his name out just as he did with mine.
“Please, call me Rhys,” he whispered with a wink as the waitress approached our table with my plate of food.
“I noticed you had company, so I kept it for here if that’s alright with you. I brought a takeout container just in case,” the waitress placed the plate in front of me. The burger smelled delicious and already made my mouth water. The patty was fresh off the grill still sizzling under fluffy buns, crisp lettuce, and raw condiments. As I took in the sight it dawned on me that this typically wasn’t the best meal to order in front of someone whom you just met. For a moment I started to panic.
“Miss, could I get the same order as well?” Rhysand asked with a raised eyebrow.
I glanced over at him, then at the waitress as she nodded. “It’ll be out in a few,” she spoke, refilling my water and giving him a glass. In that moment, I realized that Rhysand was trying to make me as comfortable as possible. I knew he noticed my reaction at the sight of this juicy burger. This meal was meant to be eaten alone in my room with no company around to see it. That eased the sudden panic I felt from before.
“So, I assume you were here meeting someone as well?” I questioned wanting to learn more about him.
“Yeah, I was meeting two of my childhood friends. We come here often on Friday nights to catch up. It so happened today that when we sat down I noticed you here alone. So I thought it wouldn’t hurt to pretend as if I was your late date so those around us would stop staring,” he gestured to the crowd surrounding us. “Not that they could help it. You’re beautiful and I’m certain that may be the reason why they glanced in your direction more than once.”
My cheeks heated at the compliment. It was funny though, Rhysand was the most attractive man I’ve laid my eyes on yet. Everything about him was alluring.
“Shouldn’t you be with your friends now?” I asked hoping he wouldn’t agree.
Rhysand scoffed and grinned showing the white smile underneath, “I’ve spent many days of my life surrounded by them. It’s nice to catch a break sometimes. Besides, they were the ones who encouraged me to approach you.”
“Really?” My tone was playfully skeptical.
“Yeah, they’ve been the cheerleaders of my love life since I could remember.”
I chuckled because I knew how it felt. Elaine had been my biggest supporter when it came to any decision I had. Nesta, on the other hand, kept to herself more often. But I knew within my heart they were my cheerleaders and I would always be one of theirs.
“So I assume you’re single?” I questioned prodding further.
“That’s right.”
Wait really? Was he truly single? I think my jaw dropped slightly.
“How..” the words escaped me before I could rein them in.
A chuckle escaped him, “Well, I work so often that it’s hard to meet new people. Usually, after work, I head home and relax. Other than that, I’ve gone on dates here and there but felt no connection with any of the women.”
“I see, it’s been the same for myself,” I replied while watching his set of food appear over his shoulder. The waitress set down the plate and quickly walked away with a smirk on her face.
The both of us glanced at each other than towards our plate of food and knew it was time to eat. He smiled and picked up his burger waiting for me to do the same. I pushed the utensils aside and mimicked his movements. The burger still warm was level with my mouth and we both took our first bite. One bite soon became many and to wash down the bites I took sips in between.
Rhysand also occasionally reached out for his glass which caused me to notice some sauce in the corner of his mouth and couldn’t help a chuckle. I haven’t felt this free in a while. To be on a date or whatever this was with someone who didn’t mind eating sloppy meals or genuinely being themselves.
Before I knew it we quickly finished our meals eager to keep talking and sat at our table for what seemed like ten minutes but turned out to be an hour and twenty.
The crowds within the restaurant seemed to dwindle down until we were the few who remained. I glanced at my phone and saw it was 9:04. Time certainly flew when you were having fun.
A huge part of me sunk as the evening came to end while Rhysand paid the bill declining my offer to contribute insisting that this was “his treat.”
My mind wouldn't quiet no matter how much I tried to shut it off.  It merely kept thinking about the time I've spent with Rhysand hoping it wouldn't end anytime soon.
Rhysand extended out an arm for me to loop mine with and I happily took it. He lead me outside asking how I intended on getting home and if I needed a ride home. However, I did come here by car and wish I hadn't.
We neared the vehicle with each step, hoping time would slow. Finally, we arrived and I dug through my purse in search of my keys and unlocked the door. Before I opened it, I turned around to face him ready to part ways.
“I had a great time,” he whispered, his breath warming the air around us. “And before you go, I wanted to ask if we could have a real date sometime.”
My heart fluttered underneath my chest. Secretly the entire time I was hoping I could see him again and was about to ask myself if he didn't. Something about this felt right. More right than ever before.
It was amazing to remember how the night initially started off with me being stood up and suddenly being approached by another. It was funny how things worked sometimes.
So with that thought in mind, I decided I wanted to pursue this further because somewhere deep down I had a good feeling about it.
I gazed up into those intriguing purple colored eyes which hopefully isn't the last time and whispered, "I would love to."
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