Hello, my fellow nessian sluts (affectionate). This is part 2 of this fic, and it’s my contribution to kinktober. I don’t know what else I’ll be able to write this month, we’ll see 👀👀👀
ps: I didn’t want to post this because I genuinely hated it but @julemmaes said it was good so if you like it too go thank her.
Also shoutout to @perseusannabeth for giving me ideas✨ this is for you 🤲🏻
Two weeks had passed since Cassian had asked Nesta on a date and she had said no. He had taken her refusal surprisingly well, something that, according to Nesta, showed his offer hadn’t really been serious. According to her friend Gwyn, Cassian was simply pretending to be fine, and he would ask Nesta out again really soon because he was “desperately in love with her”. But what did Gwyn know? She and Azriel had been skirting around their obvious feelings for each other for years, so Nesta probably shouldn’t listen to her redhead friend.
Cassian’s new favorite pastime was embarrassing Nesta with extremely dirty texts at the most inappropriate times. Once, during one of Nesta’s weekly lunches with Elain, she had made the mistake of glancing at her phone while she was drinking wine, and she had ended up spilling it all over her sister’s white tablecloth. Not one of her best moments. But today, Nesta was going to get her revenge.
She woke up earlier than usual to make sure she was the first one to get to class, and after checking that she was truly alone, she sat in Cassian’s usual spot and took out her phone to snap a few pics. Once she was satisfied with the result, she returned to her seat just as the rest of the students started pouring in. Now it was only a matter of choosing the perfect time to send Cassian the pictures.
When her doorbell rang, Nesta knew who she was going to find on the other side of the door. After checking her reflection in the mirror, making sure her unbound hair fell in loose waves down her back, she slowly made her way towards the door and opened it, revealing exactly the person she had been waiting for. Cassian’s hair was slightly damp from the light rain that had been falling non stop since that morning, and the white shirt he was wearing clung to his body, giving Nesta a delicious view of his muscle-bound chest.
Before she had time to say a word, Cassian picked her up and threw her over his shoulder, making her squeal. “You think you can pull something like that and not get punished, Archeron?” He growled as he lifted the hem of her skirt, exposing her bare ass. “Send me those pictures and expect no consequences?”
Nesta’s shiver had nothing to with the cold air that hit her skin. A dark chuckle was her only warning before Cassian’s hand came down hard on her ass cheek, making her gasp in surprise. “You’re a dirty little thing, aren’t you?” he growled before spanking her again. “Those pictures made me so fucking hard.” Another slap.
Nesta dig her teeth in her bottom lip, determined not to make a sound. “And knowing that you weren’t wearing anything under your skirt? Slap. I wanted to fuck you right there, in front of everyone.” Slap. This time, Nesta couldn’t hold back her moans any longer.
The picture she had sent him showed a clear view of her parted legs, her pussy bare under the dark red skirt she was wearing. That Cassian had seen it just before professor Helion had asked him a question had been a fortunate coincidence. Nesta had almost laughed out loud when Cassian had muttered a quick answer that had nothing to do with what he had been asked. As soon as the class had ended Nesta had run home, hoping Cassian would chase after her. And there he was, just as she had predicted.
They were still in front of the door, which Cassian had thankfully kicked closed after throwing Nesta over his shoulder. She could bet the reason Cassian hadn’t moved from that spot was the mirror facing the door, the one Nesta used to make sure she looked good before going out. With her skirt bunched up around her hips, Cassian probably had an unobstructed view of her lower body: thighs, ass, and gleaming centre.
“You look good enough to eat,” he groaned, confirming her suspicions.
“Then do something about it,” she breathed, but she hadn’t even finished her sentence when Cassian suddenly bit her ass cheek, leaving a bite mark over the imprint of his hand. She welcomed the slight hurt, relished in it. She had basically asked for it. Then, as if he hadn’t already teased her enough, Cassian brushed the pad of his finger over her folds, from her opening down to her clit, then up towards a more delicate area, smearing her wetness around.
“Cassian, please,” she whined.
His chuckle traveled straight to her core, causing it to squeeze around emptiness. Cassian must have noticed it, because he chuckled again and kissed the spot he’d bitten earlier. “Only because you asked so nicely,” he said as he put her down.
Her legs shook when her feet touched the floor, but Cassian didn’t give her time to recover, immediately fisting a hand in her unbound hair and kissing her hungrily, thrusting his tongue into her mouth and biting her lower lip. She arched into him, hands gripping his arms tightly, but just as she was about to lace her fingers behind Cassian’s neck, he grabbed her wrists and pinned them behind her back, ending the kiss much too soon for Nesta’s liking.
Holding both of her wrist with one of his huge hands, he brought the other one between her legs. His fingers brushed over her folds, light and teasing. “I’m going to take care of this needy pussy now,” he whispered against her lips. “And I want to see the look in your eyes when I make you come with my fingers.”
Nesta moaned, unable to formulate any coherent word, widening her legs to give him better access. His appreciative hum sent shivers down her spine, and when his thumb found her clit and began circling it, she had to bite her lip to keep from crying out. Cassian kept his touch light and teasing, and Nesta fought the urge to fight against his hold on her wrists so she could cover his hand with hers and press his thumb more firmly on her bundle of nerves. She didn’t though, and he rewarded her by quickening his movements and slipping a finger inside her, moving it in a come-hither motion. Nesta’s knees buckled, and Cassian’s firm grip on her became the only thing keeping her upright.
While he continued his ministrations, he kept his eyes fixed on her face, drinking in her reactions.
“I love seeing you like this. Knowing that if I make this-” he said, applying a bit more pressure on her clit, “your eyes almost roll to the back of your head.” Nesta whimpered, unable to do anything but standing there, utterly at his mercy. She fucking loved it.
“And if I make this,” Cassian continued, adding a second finger, “you moan and start moving your hips in time with my fingers.”
He was right, of course, because that’s exactly how her body reacted. Nesta tried to remember if one of her previous partners had ever bothered to pay such close attention to her, taking the time to learn what she liked and disliked, what made her loose control and reach her climax in the most pleasurable way. No name came to mind, or maybe it was Cassian’s presence and the things he was doing to her that made her forget any other name beside his.
When he pumped his fingers a little faster Nesta cried out and dropped her forehead on his chest, closing her eyes, but he immediately retreated his hand from between her legs and gripped her hair instead, forcing her head back up. “What did I say about looking at me, sweetheart? Follow the rules and I’ll let you come,” he said in the deep, husky voice Nesta secretly hope he only reserved for her. Maybe refusing to go on a date with him while still hoping they were exclusive made her a hypocrite, but she didn’t have it in herself to care, at least not now.
Keeping a hand fisted in Nesta’s hair, Cassian walked her back until she reached the kitchen counter, then released her wrists so she could place her palms on the flat surface for support. It was the right call, because Nesta wasn’t sure she could stay upright much longer on her own.
Cassian fed her two fingers of his now free hand, and Nesta immediately started sucking on them, swirling her tongue around the tips and moaning around them. Once his digits were coated with her saliva, Cassian made a show of dragging them down her neck and chest, dipping a hand beneath her blouse and teasing her nipples through her bra. His mouth soon followed the path of his fingers, leaving open-mouthed kisses down the column of her neck. He unbuttoned her blouse with one hand, the other still fisted in her hair, then reached behind her to unclasp her bra. After fumbling for a few seconds, he realized her bra clasped at the front, and from the way he groaned when he popped the clasp open, exposing her breasts, Nesta knew he approved her choice. His lips immediately latched onto her nipples, making her moan. Cassian was a boobs man, and Nesta certainly didn’t mind.
Lost in the feeling of his mouth on her, she gasped when she felt the pad of his middle finger tease her opening, drawing featherlight circles around it, teasing her. Nesta bit her lip, desperate for him to fill her but not willing to beg for it yet. She was on the edge of shattering, and his fingers weren’t even inside her.
“Eyes open, baby,” Cassian whispered. He was watching her again, his mouth inches apart from hers. Despite his smugness, he was breathing just as heavily as her.
Nesta tried to focus on something that would keep her from begging, but with every breath she took Cassian’s scent filled her nostrils, and she couldn’t help but whine and wiggle her hips, her white- knuckled hands gripping the edge of the counter.
“What’s your safe word?” he asked.
“Make me come.”
Cassian scowled. “I’m serious, Nes. Safe word.” he replied, stilling the movement of his hand.
Annoyed, Nesta tried wiggling her hips, but Cassian removed the hand that was fisted in her hair and used it to keep her hips still. “Fine,” she relented, rolling her eyes. “Injunction.”
Cassian made a weird face, but he mercifully bit his tongue. Finally, finally, he pushed two fingers inside her, and his thumb found her clit again. Nesta moaned at the feeling of his thick digits filling her just right, and began rocking her hips in time with their movements. She was so, so close, her breathing ragged and her legs shaking, but just as she was on the verge of climaxing Cassian changed the pattern of his fingers, causing her to release an undignified whine.
There was a smug smirk on his face, one Nesta would have to wipe away soon. But not right now. Today, he was the one in control, and she liked it that way. Before meeting Cassian, Nesta never would have guessed that she enjoyed giving up control in the bedroom, and truthfully, she had never trusted her previous partners enough to try.
“Do you want to come, sweetheart?” Cassian asked. “Yes.”
He kissed both corners of her lips, then her jaw, his hair tickling her face. “Say please.”
Nesta shivered and bit her lip. “No.” Cassian’s chuckle made her regret her decision, but she was determined to resist as long as possible. When he slipped a finger inside her, then slipped it back out, up and over her bundle of nerves, Nesta was about ready to scream. He repeated the pattern a few times, times, then stopped, and started again, until tears were prickling on the corners of her eyes.
Every time she was on the brink of shattering she hoped Cassian would finally allow her to come, but he always read the signs of her body and changed the pattern of his fingers or removed them from her body completely, leaving her empty and aching. At one point Nesta let go of the counter in favour of gripping Cassian’s shoulders, using her grip as leverage to rock her hips and rub her bare nipples against the fabric of his shirt. Cassian was still completely dressed, the only thing out of place being the fly of his pants, unzipped to relieve some of the pressure on his aching erection.
With no idea of how much time had passed since Cassian had started his delicious torture, Nesta’s only anchor to reality was the hazel of Cassian’s eyes, which hadn’t left her face once. She was a sweaty, whimpering mess when Cassian spoke again. “How about now?” He groaned. “Ready to say please?”
After all the teasing, Nesta wasn’t sure she could handle being denied another orgasm without going completely crazy. “Please, Cassian,” she begged.
“That’s it, that’s a good girl,” Cassian rasped against her lips. Nesta detected relief in his tone, as if he was as eager as her for all the teasing to end. He picked up his pace, moving his fingers the way he knew she loved, rubbing that spot deep inside her that no one else seemed able to find. The pressure inside her built and built, and Nesta knew that when she reached that peak, it would be glorious.
“Oh god, Cassian, don’t stop. Pleasepleasepleaseplease don’t stop,” she pleaded.
Then Cassian’s thumb pressed on her clit just a fraction harder, and Nesta shattered. She was usually loud when she came, so much that Cassian often had to clamp his hand on her mouth to keep her from alarming the neighbours. But this time, Nesta almost didn’t make a noise, throwing her head back and opening her mouth in a silent scream. Stars exploded beneath her eyelids, Cassian’s firm grip on her hair becoming her only anchor to reality. When her knees buckled, Cassian caught her, keeping her upright as wave after wave of pleasure coursed through her body. She held onto him, burying her face into his neck as tears rolled down her cheeks and she struggled to catch her breath. She thought she heard Cassian say something, but the words didn’t really register until a while later.
“Fuck, sorry,” he muttered. Nesta laughed, not sure why he was apologizing for giving her what had probably been the most intense orgasm of her life. “Cass, why would you ap-” Then she noticed the wet stain on his pants.
He rubbed the back of his neck, looking anywhere but at her face. “Sorry I- I came in my pants like a fucking teenager,” he said.
Had it been any other person Nesta would have found the whole thing funny, but the knowledge that Cassian could come just by looking at her… it made her feel powerful. She grabbed his chin and pressed a soft kiss on his lips. “I don’t mind,” she said. “In fact, I kinda like knowing that you’re such a simp for me.”
Later, as they were laying on Nesta’s crumpled sheets watching a shitty Netflix show, Cassian suddenly burst out laughing. “Injunction, seriously? That’s your safe word? You’re such a nerd.”
Nesta poked him in the ribs. “Oh, fuck you. What’s yours then?”
“It’s-” He began, stopping mid-sentence. Nesta turned his head to look at him, his hesitation sparking her curiosity.
“Hornbook,” he muttered.
There was a moment of silence, then it was Nesta’s turn to let out a deep belly laugh, one of those laugh she rarely let out in front of other people. “Hornbook! How is that a better word than Injunction?”
When Cassian didn’t answer, she turned her head to look at him, finding him lying on his side, propped on an elbow, watching her with a soft smile. His hair was sticking in all directions, which somehow made him even more handsome. He leaned down, placing a sweet kiss on her forehead and lingering for a moment, an action that Nesta was quickly becoming accustomed to. It made her feel all warm and fuzzy inside, which she certainly didn’t mind. Cassian had picked up the habit of kissing her sweetly every time they had sex, sometimes on her forehead, other times her nose, the corner of her lips, the inside of her wrist, her knee. Nesta often found herself wondering which spot Cassian was going to kiss the next time they saw each other, if he would go for one of his old favorites or pick a new one. What would he do once he ran out of spots to kiss? Would he start all over again, or would he tire of her and find someone new? Would it be so bad if she let Cassian’s soft lips melt her icy walls until they crumbled completely? What if he didn’t like what laid beyond them? Maybe the answer was right in front of her, but she was too scared to take the leap and find out.
Taglist @sirendeepity @moodymelanist @generalnesta @positivewitch @ssardothien @letstakethedawn @thewayshedreamed @starksravings @claralady @angelic-voice-1997 @rhysandswingspan @ladyllbookstan @swankii-art-teacher @confusedfandomslut @nehemikkele @sleeping-and-books @julemmaes @perseusannabeth
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📖 Nessian Headcannons 🔥
Alyssa breaking from her usual Gwynriel? More likely than you think, mijas.
When I think about Nessian, the first thing that comes to mind is that they would 100000% be reckless!!
These two know how to have fun.
Nesta seems like she’s cold and aloof, which she has been in the past, but there is a wild streak in her. She’s just been very good at repressing it.
With Cassian, Nesta never has to repress a single thing about herself.
And what is love if not the safest place for you to explore yourself?
So, Cassian brings out the wild side in Nesta.
The bat boi’s do this thing called Drops. It’s where they fly super high, bring their wings in tight, and just free fall. Winner is the one who holds out the longest.
Low and behold, Cassian is almost always the winner.
Nesta is watching the brothers mess around one day and her heart plummets to the ground as she watches Cassian shoot down the sky. But he’s laughing. He’s cheering. He looks like he’s having the time of his life and a strange, curious eye opens inside her chest.
She wants to try it.
She wants to know what that release of control feels like, what ripping through cloud and wind at neck breaking speeds feels like.
Rhys notices her intriguing stare. He raises a brow at her and opens up an arm as if to say wanna try this again?
Nesta flicks him off because fuck no is she ever flying with Rhysand ever again.
Cassian lands beside her, his black hair wind tossed, cheeks flushed, and eyes positively alight.
She grabs his hand. He still beams at her every time she does.
She tugs on his hand until his head lowers so that she can whisper, “I want to try.”
For a moment, he looks shocked, but the widening in his eyes quickly becomes a narrowing. He’s grinning in the way that makes her toes curl and her heart lurch because that smile means trouble. And she’s thrilled.
His arms are around her and they’re shooting into the sky before she has a chance to second guess herself or catch a breath.
She’s not afraid. Never with Cassian. Never in his arms. She’s not even afraid of herself.
Right when she thinks they’ve gone high enough, Cassian keeps ascending.
His lips press to her ear as he says over the roaring wind, “Hold on tight.”
She can hear his suggestive tone and she laughs.
She turns in his arms and the thought of Cassian dropping her never occurs to her, but the fact that this level of trust exists between them does occur to her. That she can wiggle and maneuver in his hold while they are in mild fight and his hold on her is unyielding, it makes her fall in love all over again. He’s never once dropped her. He never will.
She turns so that her legs are wrapped around him, her arms squeezing his neck. His hands hold the bottom of her legs and he gives a gentle squeeze.
“Don’t tell me when,” she interrupts.
He pulls back to look at her and their noses are touching. This close she can see the gold in his hazel eyes. This close she can see the faintest dusting of freckles. He’s looking at her with an intensity that would have sent her sprinting in the other direction once, but she does not look away now. She meets every ounce of passion. She thinks he’s about to kiss her....
And they drop.
He’s wings snap in and they’re falling. It’s happening so fast that she can’t even think. Her stomach jumps painfully with a scream that she’s sure is painful to Cassian’s ears. The wind rips her hair out of its usual coronet and her eyes water. The force of the drop presses gravity so heavily on her shoulders she has no idea how Cassian is going to open his wings against it, that maybe this was a bad idea. She’s screaming and screaming and screaming
And then she’s laughing. That lurch in stomach, the wind slapping at her, the falling—it’s addictive. It’s thrilling. It’s like breathing in something forbidden. She never wants it to stop. She wants to keep falling—
Until Cassian flings his wings wide and they bank hard to the left, catching a draft of wind.
She can’t stop laughing and by the way Cassian grips her legs she can tell he knows how great this felt to her.
She leans her head back into open air, lets her arms fall back, and grins. She feels wild. She feels unhinged. She feels like herself.
“Again,” she shouts.
Cassian presses a kiss to her throat and they drop five more times.
Their Mating Ceremony is a fucking party.
Before it begins, our bat boi’s have a moment together. Just the three of them. As it all began.
Rhys holds Cassian by the shoulders and says, “You made me a brother. Before Az, before my sister, you were the first. I love you and I am very proud of you.” Rhys turns very serious. “And you also have now lost me three hundred fucking gold coins to this asshole behind me.”
Cassian was not embarrassed to cry, but now he’s barking out a laugh. Azriel leans against a tree, smug.
“Rhys didn’t think this would happen,” Azriel explains. “He bet you two would deny the bond for at least another year or two.”
Cassian tilts his head. “And you didn’t?”
Azriel shakes his head. “You are the bravest of us, brother. There is nothing—no truth, no enemy, no battle—you are not willing and ready to face.”
“You’re also a shit liar,” Rhys quips. “The cat would have come out of the bag eventually.”
Cassian laughs again. He hugs his brothers and they walk into the temple the same way they have walked through everything: together.
The ceremony itself is a blend of human and Fae traditions. Cassian stands at the end of the aisle, his brothers and Mor by his side. Nesta walks down the aisle in a white dress with red accents along the neckline and hem.
Yes, Rhys bought the dress
She walks herself down the aisle. She likes to think that even if both of her parents were alive to see this day, she would still choose to do this herself. She likes to think her mother is proud, and imagines her hand on Nesta’s cheek as she stands before Cassian.
He looks damn good in a suit and Nesta wants this ceremony over so she can promptly consummate their bond.
Nesta is a private person so she and Cassian will exchange their super heartfelt vows just the two of them later. Right now, they just have one promise to each other—the one that matters most: forever.
Gwyn ties a gold ribbon around their hands and it is only to be removed after the exchange of food.
It doesn’t matter what Nesta gives Cassian. Frankly, she can’t remember what was on the plate. All that matters was the way his eyes never left hers as he took that first bite, as they both felt that final snapping in place of the sacred thing linking their souls.
Of all the ways Cassian has ever looked at her, this one means the most to her. There is such security, such deep unending love. It’s passion and promise, lust and joy.
It is friendship.
Nesta doesn’t care, she kisses the male right there until he forgets his name. Until the only thing he knows is her.
Rhys cheers the loudest in the background.
The dancing doesn’t stop until morning. Nesta’s feet hurt. Her cheeks hurt—and what a strange, foreign feeling that is.
Before Nesta and Cassian leave, there is one last person she wants to see.
She pulls Feyre outside and the beginning of the morning sun is breaking through the clouds. She looks into her sister’s eyes that are mirrors to her own and says, “There is so much to be said between us.”
Feyre nods. “I know.”
Nesta smiles. “And I’m not afraid. I want you to know that I look forward to every conversation to come. However painful, whatever comes, you are my sister and I want to fight for our future.”
Feyre doesn’t fight her tears and Nesta’s fingers are gentle as she wipes them away. Just as she did when they were young. She’s not sure if Feyre remembers how Nesta would hold her when she cried. But there will be time for that. They have all the time in the world now.
After their mating ceremony, no one hears from them for a month.
Azriel, foreseeing this, had temporarily moved into the River House.
No matter how hard Nesta tries, she cannot convert her mate to love sweets.
He tolerates chocolate cake, even goes for a second piece sometimes, but that’s really it.
She asks Azriel for recommendations on bakery’s, because who knew he was such a pastry connoisseur?
But nothing works. Cassian simply cannot do sweets.
But he does cook, and he’s incredible at it.
It’s late evening and she hasn’t seen Cassian all day. He’s not in any of his usual spots and she’s running out of options to go looking for. That is until she passes the kitchens. It’s normally loud and bustling, but she can hear only one inside, along with the soft and methodical sounds of chopping.
Cassian has a look of focus and mediation that she rarely sees outside of training. He’s chopping an onion, sets it in a sizzling pan, and moves onto a pile of flour and eggs on the counter. She watches his hands carefully mix the two and she realizes that he has a serene calmness to him.
“I didn’t know you cook,” she announces her arrival, but he is not surprised to find her leaning against the door. He probably knew she was there the entire time.
“I’m a fantastic cook, Nes.” He looks up from the pile of flour turned dough and winks at her. It makes her face warm.
The farther she moves into the kitchen, the more her mouth waters. It smells divine. She hauls herself up onto the adjacent counter and asks, “Why don’t you do it more? Why haven’t I ever seen you in here?”
Cassian tosses a rag onto his shoulder. “I don’t want those hungry inner circle vultures expecting my five star kitchen skills every night. I like it to be a special occasion thing.”
“Is tonight a special occasion, then?”
“With you? Always.”
But the humor doesn’t land. She knows he’s covering something up, that he’s not being entirely truthful. She doesn’t push. She just watches as he moves gracefully from counter to stove to cabinet and all over again. It’s like a dance to him and she finds that she enjoys watching.
After a time of comfortable silence, she asks, “What is it?”
“White wine pasta with mushrooms.” His answer is soft and distant.
He drops the slices of pasta into the boiling water and she can tell that he wasn’t ready for a pause, that the chopping and mixing was a way to keep himself busy. But there’s nothing to do now but wait. And he looks lost. It rips at her heart.
She opens her arms to him and he gladly steps between her dangling legs and hugs her close. They stay like that for a while, his arms tightly enveloping her and her hands smoothing through his hair and down his back.
“It was Haizea’s favorite meal,” he whispers into her neck.
Oh. Nesta stills for a moment but then keeps to her calming ministrations. She knew Rhysand’s mother was a mother to Cassian and Azriel as well, but no one talked about her very much.
Cassian breathes in a deep, shuddering breath. “She taught me to cook. She took notice early on how strong I was as a soldier, how different I was from the rest. I think she knew, somehow, that I’d be in command one day because she told me that the most popular male in every army was the one who cooked. And she wanted me to have my best chance at fitting in. Of having the male’s I’d lead trust me.”
There aren’t words for Nesta to say and she suspects her mate isn’t quite done sharing what’s been bothering him. So, she keeps holding onto him.
“Today is her birthday.”
And there it is. She feels his grief down the mating bond and it’s such a deep ache that it takes her breath away, that she almost mistakes his sadness for her own. She wraps her legs around his waist and presses a kiss to his cheek. He grips her back.
“Rhys doesn’t like to make a big deal of it,” Cassian explains. “But every year the three of us go to her grave, pour out her favorite brand of whiskey, and fly around together for hours. She would want us to laugh, not get stuck in mourning. Other than Solstice, it’s one of the only times my brothers and I get to be kids again. We play air games and for a moment we’re young boys again and Haizea isn’t dead and we can come home to her cooking and her embraces.”
She leans back then, and brushes the hair from his face. “She’d be endlessly proud of you, Cassian.”
She feels his wavering in the bond, but she presses their brows together. “She would,” Nesta insists. “There is no part of me that doubts you are not everything she would have hoped you to become. You inspire people to be their bravest, to fight for what they believe in. You reach out for everyone, Cassian. You do not leave a single person behind. You are the light that people flock to, that people trust to lead them.”
His hazel eyes threaten to spill over with tears. She rubs a thumb over his cheeks. “You are what she would want you to be, because you are relentlessly yourself at all times, Cassian. That’s how I know.”
His lips crush onto hers and his kiss is desperate, tinged with just the slightest edge of grief. He’s breathing hard and she feels the relief and love in him shining down their mating bond.
The water boils over the stone and Nesta has to shove him away with a laugh.
They eat and laugh together. Cassian grows quiet sometimes, but Nesta is there to reach out a hand to him when he does. He tells her of Haizea, how she was the first female to ever hug him. He tells her of Rhysand, how his brother was the first comfort Cassian had ever felt in his life. By the end of their meal, there is a fortitude in her mate.
“You’re right,” Nesta nods her head at her empty plate. “This was one of the best meals I’ve ever had.”
The last two days of the week are the only days they don’t train. They spend that time taking the day slowly, waking up slow, and enjoying each other. During the warm seasons, Nesta finds that she adores the beach. Who knew Azriel had a secret sailing hobby? Certainly not Nesta. But lately the male has been opening up more, less withdrawn. When he takes her, Cassian, and Gwyn out in open water she’s delightfully intrigued to find that her best friend is not surprised by Azriel’s sailing. That she moves comfortably and familiarly around the boat.
Nesta loves sailing. The mystery and fear of the open sea strikes a thrill in her. Cassian ties a long rope attached to a small raft on the end of the boat and Nesta discovers tubing. Cassian and Azriel make the wind fly through sails at soaring speeds and Nesta and Gwyn hold onto the raft with all their strength, but when they hit a wave Nesta goes flying into the air. She shrieks the entire time down into the cool water and she grins the entire swim back to the boat.
This is living. She’s alive, she’s surrounded by love, and she no longer wonders if she deserves it.
“Nesta!” She has to fight the urge to throw her book at the voice singing her name.
Nesta doesn’t look up from her book. “Whatever it is, I don’t want it, Rhysand.”
The chipper tone doesn’t leave his voice. “Just look at it!”
Nesta rolls her eyes as she begrudgingly looks up. Rhysand is holding up a new set of leather boots and she has to admit that she does like them. “Thank you.”
Rhysand grins as he throws the shoes over his shoulder. They land with a loud thunk behind him. “That’s not even the gift. I mean it is a gift; I saw them on my way over here and just had to buy them, but this is the real gift.”
Nesta shakes her head at her brother-in-law. “You eventually have to stop with the gifts.”
He shakes his head, a cat like grin on his face. “Never.”
Nesta rolls her eyes again and holds her hands out for the box Rhysand as materialized. He’s thrumming with excitement as she opens it and holy shit.
“Rhysand,” Nesta swallows, her eyes large on the gift in her lap. This is more than a gift. This is...this is...
“It’s perfect, isn’t it?” He is absolutely giddy.
She wants to say it’s too much. She wants to hand it back. But he looks so happy and she isn’t sure how she’ll manage to part with a first edition collectors item of her all time favorite book series. Signed by the author no less. “How in the hell did you manage to find this?”
“I’m the most powerful High Lord in all of—”
Nesta holds up a hand. “Don’t preen to me, Rhysand.”
He laughs and she finds that she’s starting to enjoy this comfortable and friendly antagonism with him.
“I caught wind that Helion had them in one of his libraries. You will not believe how long I had to play poker with him to win them. I—”
Nesta is out of her chair before she knows what she’s doing. She’s just as astounded as Rhysand when she’s throwing herself into a hug, embracing him tighter than she ever has. This wasn’t just a gift he saw in a window and purchased on a whim. This was something he planned for. For her. He’s still and stiff but he brings his arms around her and he’s hugging her, too.
“Thank you,” she whispers.
He squeezes. “No. Thank you.”
It’s the first time she doesn’t whack him for his insistent gifts and thanks for saving Feyre and Nyx. It’s the first time she truly understands why he does what he does, why he is outrageously generous. It is one of the first times Nesta deeply understands her brother. It is because he feels like he has so little to offer the world, to the people who matter to him.
Nesta places the books in the center of her bookshelf.
The more training Nesta goes through, the more competitions she and Cassian have.
Cassian bets he can hang from a bar longer than she can, that since he’s physically stronger than her he’ll win.
They hang their for the longest time, both trying to make the other laugh and fall. Cassian’s arms begin to shake and he looks in pain, but godsdamn it he’s gonna hang there until his fingers bleed because Nesta looks smug. She doesn’t even waver. She looks ready to hold on for another hour. Cassian finally has to let go and falls to the ground, trying to catch his breath. To make a point, Nesta doesn’t immediately drop. She smiles at him as she still holds on to the bar. And then they have really rough competitive sex after bye
Nesta is a snuggler. When they’re in bed, she’s always curling into his side as close as she can get.
CASSIAN. WRITES. POETRY. 😤
I will go down swinging for that headcannon. I am ready.
He’s got a whole ass wall of shelves of various kinds of journals like fucking Stefan from the Vampire Diaries but less sad emo boi things.
Cassian actually has a gift for writing but he’s shy about it so literally no one knows. He writes a lot about the wars and battles he’s fought in, how those experiences shaped him for good and bad. He writes poems for his brothers, for his mother(s). He secretly has a huge, bleeding heart that he masks with frat boy humor.
His very best work was writing about Nesta.
He very slowly shows Nesta all his poems and she never once mocks him. She doesn’t over praise, either. She points out the one’s she really enjoys and they talk about them.
Nesta’s favorite one is how he describes flying. It takes her several re-reads, but she figures out that the poem reads like an instruction manual, like a teaching lesson. She realizes it’s about how he taught Azriel to fly. The poem is full of love and patience and the beginnings of an unbreakable brotherhood. It shows how deeply Cassian loves.
She cries when she reads the poem he wrote about waking up after the failed Hybern mission and his wings were ruined. His despair and fear is so tangible, but there is an underlying message of acceptance and that he would do absolutely anything to save his brothers.
Nesta expected Cassian to be eager for children. They don’t talk about them a lot, and she’s not sure what he wants, but she knows she’s not ready. Not yet. There is still so much she wants to do, so much of her bond with Cassian she wants to discover.
She brings it up as casually as she can one night over a quite dinner. A light goes on in his eyes, but it’s fleeting as something darker takes root.
“Do you want to start trying?” He asks carefully.
“No. We’ve only been mated for a year and I’m not ready to share you.”
His smile is wide and does a good job of hiding what’s really going on in his thoughts, but they are well past hiding from one another.
She reaches across the table and takes his calloused hand. “Tell me.”
“I don’t know how to be a father.” His eyes look faraway. “I never had one. Rhys’s father was a prime asshole and I never knew my own. I’m afraid something integral is missing in me and I won’t be good to our children.”
It never ceases to surprise Nesta how deep her mates insecurities go.
She rubs her thumb over his hand. “I understand. I don’t have the best track record of being a model human being or Fae. My mother, as strange as our relationship was, was not good to my sisters. I’m afraid that exists in me.”
Neither try to prove the other wrong about their fears. It’s not what is needed. Right now, they just need to be heard and understood.
Cassian though, is incredible with children. They adore him. He’s funny and gentle and he never tires when they ask to tossed in the air just one more time.
Lol children do not love Nesta. She doesn’t love children either.
Except Nyx. He is obsessed with Aunt Nesta. She’s his favorite and honestly, the drooling chub is growing on her. Nesta talks to Nyx like a well educated adult, even if he is a baby. He listens raptly to her, his violet eyes wide. The boy clearly looks like his father, but there are parts of Feyre in his mouth, his mannerisms.
There is even the smallest trace of Nesta. It’s shocking and it warms her heart in a way she’s never felt before, but the curve of Nyx’s eyes are familiar. They are her shape. Her mother’s shape.
So, Nesta teaches her beloved nephew the art of the withering side eye. He is a master and she is proud.
Nyx’s sixth birthday is coming up and she’s in her and Cassian’s private living room. She’s wrapping her nephews gift—a collection of feminist poetry and Valkyrie war strategy and no she doesn’t care he’s six the boy is smart damn it—when Cassian walks in.
“I am one hundred percent certain Rhysand is giving me a chocolate fountain for Nyx’s birthday,” she says over her shoulder. “He saw me looking at one the other day and I half believe he bought the damn thing that very day.”
Cassian hasn’t said anything. He’s still and he’s not breathing.
“What? Did I guess right?” When her mate says nothing she snaps her fingers. “This wouldn’t be the first time I’ve guessed a Rhysand-Gift, Cass. Snap out of it.”
His hand is on his chest, clenching and unclenching at his heart. “Do you...do you not...smell it?”
Nesta bursts out into laughter. “Just tell me to take a bath if I smell. I trained a little longer with Emerie today. She said I’ve been slow lately.”
Cassian is before her all a sudden, his hands holding her face. “Nes.” His thumbs run over her cheeks. “Take a deep breath in.”
She does. A scent that reminds her of both herself and Cassian—and something new. Something soft.
And she literally falls to her knees, bringing Cassian with her.
“Oh my gods,” she covers her mouth. “Oh my gods. Oh my gods.”
She thought she’d have more eloquent things to say when she found out she was pregnant. Turns out not.
Cassian is at a loss for words, as well. They only just decided to start trying last month.
Nesta then cackles. “You have very insistent genetics, Cassian.”
He’s still shocked and his hazel eyes are still wider than plates, but he manages a chuckle. “On the first go. Can you believe it?”
“Honestly, I do.”
Cassian swallows. “A baby.”
Nesta’s eyes warm. “A baby.”
Cassian leans his brow against hers and she knows he is softly crying. “I’ll be happy no matter what, but I really want a girl.”
And they do have a girl.
Arya, named for Cassian’s mother, is born in the first hour of the first month of the summer season.
As Nesta gives her final push, it is Cassian who catches their daughter. He weeps at the screaming, squirming, angry faced baby and he is besotted.
The first person Arya sees when she opens her eyes is her father, who cheers to see that Nesta’s eyes have passed to his daughter.
Her first steps will be to Cassian’s waiting hands, ready to catch her should she fall. He teaches her to fly and it’s one of Arya’s most treasured memories. He is there for everything, and he is no longer afraid of being a father.
Brb writing pregnant Nesta and Nessian as parents headcannons now.
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