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anexperimentallife · 3 months

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As an autistic adult parenting an autistic toddler, I'm glad I'm able to use my experiences to help my little girl, and start teaching her the lessons about dealing with it that I didn't learn until I found out as an adult that I was autistic.

Like, this morning she started screaming literally within seconds of waking up because @thesurestthing was in the bathroom instead of giving her morning milk (her usual routine--the hardest thing is starting the day with a break in routine).

Then she was screaming and kicking me in the face because she didn't want to wear a diaper, then she wanted her old pee-filled diaper back on, then she wanted NO diaper again. Then when Zoey returned to nurse her, "MOMMY GO AWAY!" (Because the routine was already broken, and things would not be Perfect no matter what at this point.)

Then (and this was the majority of the meltdown) she started screaming because "I want to feel daddy! I need to feel you!" I offered my hands, my arm, my beard, and my head, to no avail. All this while I'm being intermittently kicked in the face and trying to keep her from hurting herself or me. She tried several times to do her deep breaths, yelling, "I WANT A NEW FEELING!" But she COULD NOT calm down.

THE SOLUTION: It took approximately a century (or so it felt like) to figure out she wanted me to put my hand in the high-five position so she could put her palm against mine--at which point she took a couple of deep breaths and immediately started calming down.

If we can keep her chill for the next few hours--long enough for her body to get over the meltdown--she'll most likely be fine for the rest of the day. I'm just glad that I have similar neurodivergent patterns to hers, and that since I've begun to figure out how to handle mine, I can help her learn to handle hers so that hopefully she'll have an easier life than I have.

Update: headed off a couple more meltdowns by offering my hand again, and praising her when she did her deep breaths and got herself under control. She's so cool, and she works so hard at learning self-regulation. Then she just sat with me stimming for a bit, and we read a book together.

Right now she's being a total cuddlebug with me. I love her so much, and I wouldn't change a single thing about her if I could.

I just hope that by helping her learn about dealing with her autism early I can help her have an easier life than I've had. Not by pretending to be allistic, but by taking her autism into account and doing what she needs to regulate her feelings.

She is so perfect in every way, and I love her. Yes, there are challenges, but if I could wave my hand and make her allistic, I wouldn't do it, because that would fundamentally change who she is. She's autistic, like me. And she's perfect.

#baby el #autistic #actually autistic #autistic parenting

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enderblogs-24 · 3 months

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"Everyone's autistic now," "Why's there so much autism," "So many kids faking autism these days."

You know. I had been suspecting I was autistic since I started to understand what that meant, around middle school. I was working with two different autistic kids in a Girl Scout troop I led with my mom, and they did/said things that felt familiar. But I didn't dare bring up those thoughts, because my little cousin was autistic, that was his thing, and I didn't want to seem like I was looking for attention.

I started looking into autism for real when I hit my 20's, because those suspicions never went away... just buried. I had been focusing on other areas of my life anyway - my transition. But that was over, and I could see that things were still "off" about me. I love diving deep into different disabilities, disorders, and mental illnesses, but avoided autism because I was scared of what I'd find. I took maybe one test, masked up and guarded as hell, and because of that it said I wasn't autistic. I didn't answer truthfully, so I went looking elsewhere. ADHD, maybe. I ended up trying to get an ADHD diagnosis, and got misdiagnosed with a personality disorder that can be misdiagnosed in autistic adults. I felt I didn't have an option but to accept the diagnosis, because I was on my way to Chicago; out of time and out of money.

Nearly six months after the misdiagnosis, while I had been looking into the personality disorder and knew for certain I didn't meet the criteria for a diagnosis, (but masked through the appointments, which is how I got it) I had worked extensively on unmasking. I learned many neurodivergencies masked, and thought I'd give unmasking a shot, soon realizing I'd been doing it forever. Once I got better at unmasking, I eventually looked into autism again. What would it hurt to be told no twice? I took a couple quizzes again. Slowed down, answered honestly, and gave every answer my full attention. And I scored high on every one. It was terrifying. But it was also... a relief? While a few of those quizzes weren't too be taken seriously, I did take tests on official sites made by and for autistic people. When I came home from Chicago in summer 2022, I told my mom and showed her all my past scores on official tests like the RAADS, one of which I take annually. Part of me still has doubts that I'm not faking it, I guess.

All of this, at least past 2021, has occurred while people have been posting their own stores about discovering and getting diagnosed as adults. While I initially started looking into things on my own, hearing these people's stories on occasion really, really helped. Random strangers on the internet in a reel telling me they'd been overlooked because they were afab, did well in school, and didn't have many other adults around to see a difference... really helped. I could sneak into the autistic tags on Tumblr and look around at posts, relate to them silently, write down my findings in my little notebook, and go about my day. This "autism boom" as it were really helped, just because everyone suddenly showing off who they are, telling the world "I'm different and that's okay," really, really... helped. I know why I've always felt different and wrong, I know why I struggle with certain things, and I know why certain things will likely never be possible on my own. That's so much better than going thrift my life wondering and beating myself up because I can't function like everyone else.

Everyone isn't suddenly being diagnosed as autistic, now. People are just... starting to listen. Starting to get more comfortable. Obtaining more resources. And it's really nice. ❤️

#actually autistic #autistic #autism #actuallyautistic #late diagnosed autistic #ender's life #he/they

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meraxesmoon · 4 months

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Modern AU HOTD Yandere HCs

note: idk what possessed me to make this lmao

warnings: yandere content, dark content, toxic relationships, sexual innuendo in aegon's part, college students au, helaena is my sweet baby ily helaena targaryen

┍━━━━━━━ ˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗━━━━━━━┑

Aemond Targaryen

☆ He meets his darling in college and is charming enough for them to trust him almost immediately. Aemond is smart, and often offers to tutor his darling in any subjects they're having trouble with, even going as far as renting out a room in the campus library so they can study without being bothered by other students.

☆ There comes a time where Aemond becomes romantically involved with his darling, after careful planning, and he invites them over to his apartment. He's a Targaryen, so he lives lavishly, but his apartment is tasteful, and you wouldn't know that he's rich just by looking at his home. Inside resides his large Maine Coone, Vhagar. She's this huge, extremely old and grumpy cat, who surprisingly takes a liking to Aemond's darling, and is always more active when they come around.

☆ Aemond is smooth with his relationship, yet he's far from perfect. Aemond is jealous, possessive, and obsessive when it comes to his lover, and hates sharing them with anyone else. He's more on the traditional side, as well, and desires to make them his little housewife as soon as possible.

☆ He most definitely tells his mother about his darling! Alicent and Aemond have weekly lunch dates, and she loves (Name) already from just hearing her son talk about them. She wants to meet them so bad, and once she does, she absolutely adores them. Aemond is a mama's boy. Not meeting his mother is out of the question!

Aegon Targaryen II

☆ The resident fuckboy, Aegon desires his darling more than any of his hookups, but she just doesn't seem interested in casual stuff. I can definitely see Aegon going for the nice girl, and he's an absolute menace when it comes to his darling! Aegon is high key annoying, but he's definitely an art student, which makes a lot of sense.

☆ I feel like his darling would be good friends with Helaena, so he asks her to put in a good word for him. Despite his reputation, Aegon is really devoted to his darling and has a hard time with anyone else that he tries to bring into his bed. It's a very toxic situation because while he's in bed with someone else he's thinking of (Name).

☆ Aegon is a bitch, like he'd let a pretty girl walk all over him kind of bitch. Once he does get involved with his darling, he's incredibly good at pleasing them. It doesn't matter what they want. He's there. This isn't just a sexual thing. Either way, he'd literally do anything for their approval.

☆ He's dependent on his darling, as well. He loves his sweet girl so much that he's unable to imagine his life without her! He wants to crawl into her body so she can never be without him, and Aegon recognizes how creepy that is, so he settles for keeping her in his bed as long as humanly possible.

Helaena Targaryen

☆ This sweet girl is an entomology student! She loves her bugs and is so passionate about them that she goes into that kind of career path. She meets her darling through her mother, unsurprisingly. Helaena doesn't have many friends, and so when she finally finds herself a companion, she's very happy!

☆ Helaena's feelings for her darling don't stay platonic, obviously, and she ends up wanting them to be more than friends. I definitely think she's neurodivergent, so Helaena isn't quite sure how to navigate her emotions when it comes to romance, but she knows that she absolutely adores (Name).

☆ She's a stalker. That's the only way to describe Helaena. She loves observing. She always has, but it's different when it comes to (Name). They're very close, and Helaena just loves looking at them! She thinks that her darling is so pretty, the prettiest in the entire world. So, Helaena follows her darling around constantly. When they're not hanging out together, she tries to steal glances of them. She's so sneaky about it, too. You'd never catch her in the act.

☆ Helaena hyperfixates on things, so she really appreciates it when people take in interest in her hobbies or whatever she's into currently. Like, she went through a phase where she was absolutely fixated on doing crochet, and she was making little bugs to give to her family and darling. She blabbers on to Aegon about her darling. I feel like in a modern AU, they would be very close :((((

☆ She has a pet tarantula named Dreamfyre 💕

#cw: yandere content #cw: yandere blog #cw: yandere #yandere aemond targaryen #yandere aegon ii targaryen #yandere helaena targaryen #yandere hotd #yandere house of the dragon #yandere headcanons #yandere imagines #yandere drabble #yandere #kay writes

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fbfh · 6 months

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Hey! Then in hoo it is mentioned that Leo has dealt with a lot of bullies and horrible people since Esperanza died, I could ask for something like him and his s/o going to do something normal like shopping and end up running into one of these people And they keep making fun of Leo so his s/o defends him and comforts him or something like that(sorry if it seems confusing, English is not my first language haha)

first of all your english is great babes!! not confusing at all <33

ah yes. the bitchy girls. the asshole mean girls who have a fucking superpower for sniffing out adhd and autism and other neurodivergent traits like fucking blood hounds. the devils in lululemon leggings and nike sneakers who worship the ground hailey bieber walks on and keep their marc jacobs tote bags full of knives to stab anyone and everyone in the back with the moment the see an opportunity to.

those girls.

Leo's been able to avoid them for a while. Drew was the worst at camp, but she was a watered down version of them - Leo realized at some point that Drew adopting those traits was her own way of dealing with shit, and the more time she spent at camp since Piper became head of cabin, the more chilled out she's gotten.

There were barely any mean girls at MIT, none he had trouble avoiding at least. But now he's here, back in the real world, shopping for groceries for your little apartment you have together. And in the real world, fresh out of nursing school, is Emily. The exact same Emily from the school he went to before camp half blood. At 15, Leo went through a lot of shit. School was hell, his foster family was so bad he ran away enough to be sent to the wilderness school, and he was at one of the lowest points of his entire life.

You don't know who she is, but from the look on Leo's face, the sudden, sharp drop in his energy, the way he starts picking at his hands and gets all jittery. He hopes he can get away with it, hopes she won't even recognize him.

"Oh my god... Leo Valdez?"

you grimace at her voice, the way she mispronounces his last name, and your hackles rise. She looks at you in shock, seeming to hold back a laugh.

"Wait, is he your boyfriend?"

She says it like it's some joke, like this whole thing is hilarious.

"He used to be so awkward!" she giggles, "Wow, you look exactly the same."

Leo can read you like a book, and he knows you are SO pissed off for him.

"Yeah," You say with an equally sarcastic smile, "I had no idea you guys were the same age, you look so much older. I never would have known you guys were in the same class."

She blanches a little, and you double down.

"Leo actually just graduated top of his class at MIT. He has, like, a dozen job offers already." You smile at him proudly. "So how about you, are you... doing anything?"

"Mhm." She nods, the humor suddenly gone. "Nursing school. I just started."

"Oh," you nod, glancing over at Leo and sharing a subtle look with him, "well, we better get going, we have some open houses to get to."

As you walk away, still close enough for her to hear, you mutter to Leo, stifling a smile.

"Wow. The mean girl to nursing school pipeline is real." You chuckle, "And like, she does know it's not 2016 anymore, right? Cause her eyebrows don't seem to..."

He's so surprised that after an interaction with her, after all these years, he actually feels... okay. Outside the shithole of high school, with you by his side, she doesn't seem nearly as intimidating as she had. He's not sure how you got him to realize that so quickly, but he realizes that there's nothing that feels that intimidating when you're by his side. And you're right, her eyebrows are just as awful as her personality.

#drabbles #leo valdez #leo valdez drabbles #leo valdez x reader #heroes of olympus #heroes of olympus x reader #heroes of olympus drabbles #no shade to anyone who does/still likes 2016 makeup and eyebrows /gen #and no shade to anyone in nursing school /gen #just using some small town mean girl archtypes yk #anyway yeah #once you break down that facade #leo is SO unthreatened #and he is forever grateful to you

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rxseinbloom · 4 months

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I think Percy Jackson is affecting me so much because I clung to that series when everything else around me felt like it was crumbling to the ground. Percy, Annabeth and Grover saved the world time and time again; they saved me too.

My Camp Half Blood shirt is in my memory chest, stained with acrylic paint from making my own camp bead necklace, with blue food dye and the biggest dreams a middle-schooler could possible hold.

I saw myself in Annabeth, a neurodivergent girl who relied on intelligence over her peers because she had been let down so many times. I now sit at the end of my first semester of graduate school, overcoming academic and personal challenges I never imagined facing.

I cried when Nico came out, and I didn’t even know why at the time, I just knew it made me ache for something I didn’t even know about myself yet. Ten years later, I am confident in my queerness with a passion that burns so bright.

I found my family in characters that grew up with me; I learned to be my own hero in those pages.

For all its struggles, all its gods and monsters, all its fear and triumph and uphill battles, the world did not end when I was twelve.

This show will inspire new kids, sure, but it’s a salute to who I was and everything I have yet to become, and I am incredibly thankful for it. Sometimes I’m still the little girl with her nose buried in those books, but I have come so much further than I ever expected, and continue each day with my head and heart high because of those stories.

#percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson #pjo #annabeth chase #nico di angelo #grover underwood #percy series #ramblings #personal #greek mythology #pjo tv show #pjo series #pjo fandom #oc

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melodramaschild · 1 year

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Immediate yes to that tattoo and piercing Drabble idea babe, in fact it isn’t even a yes it’s me begging for it

Based on me (so lots of neurodivergent and awkward)

Moder au

“Babe, I’m telling you, the whole conversation was… kinda weird.” Sirius said as he pulled his long hair into a high messy bun. “Do I look good?” He asked Remus and he nodded.

…

“What do you mean by weird?” Remus raised his eyebrow at his boyfriend as he was cleaning the chair.

“Well… she was way too nice.”

“And that’s weird?” Remus chuckled at that.

“She is calling me Mr. Black, she was… way too polite, has private Instagram and… she’s nice. Like, I never had this kind of conversation with my clients before.” Sirius thought. “And she lets me do my work! Like she send me the screen of my work and said that she wants it!”

Sirius was feeling enthusiastic about people admiring his work. But he really loved tattooing people with his work.

“Never heard you judging people like this, Mr. Black.” Remus joked as he hooked his fingers under Sirius’ chin. “I’m not judging,” Sirius frowned. “It’s mean to judge.” Remus tapped his chin with this thumb. “I’m not, she’s just… interesting.” “Yeah right.” Remus smiled and collected his lips with Sirius.

—

“Hi, can I help you somehow?” James asked you as you tripped over the door into the studio. “Fuck sorry.” You apologised to the door. Very good way how to make a good first impression.

“Yeah, hi there, hello.” You waved your hand at him and nervously chuckled. “I’m-I’m having an a-appointment on 2pm with M-Mr. Black.” You explained and swung on your heels.

James gave you back a warm smile. “Yes of course, you can leave your jacket here and I’ll talk to him.” James explained and disappeared in on of the room.

“You can come in.”

—

Sirius couldn’t help but smile a bit. He didn’t expect… the way you looked. He called this no-taste clothes. Without all judgment and bad meaning, of course. And you looked exactly like that. Like you don’t truly know your style so you just wear whatever you find in your closet or in the clothing shop.

You looked like a lost puppy who was hiding in the corner. It was even in your face. The look behind your eyes that made you look confused and scared.

“You must be Y/n, is that correct?” He asked and you nodded. “Yeah, nice to meet you, Mr. Black.” You said and handed him your hand for a proper greeting. He couldn’t help but grin. He didn’t meet people with hand shaking for very long time.

“Nice to meet you too Y/n.” He smiled. “Can we get you anything? Coffee, tea, some biscuit too?” James eyed you. “A tea is okay, thank you very much. A fruit one if you have.”

“Anything for you, dove.” James made you smile as he disappeared.

“So, since we have a bit of privacy. Please have a seat.” He pointed at the small black leather couch in the corner of the room. “So you chose my design, is that still correct?”

“Yes.”

“And the placement?”

“Uh, I don’t know how it’s specifically named.” You nervously scratched your ear. “It’s okay, you can describe it.” Sirius assured you and sunk into the couch, suddenly getting a bit shy as you had to describe it.

“It’s like between breasts but down the chest, you know. Like not fully on my tummy, but also on my breasts too.” Sirius mind went into oblivion. He wasn’t expecting some goody two shoes girl looking requesting that tattoo on this place.

His cheeks became bloody red. “We can do that.”

—

“Please take your top clothing off. Your bra too…” suddenly he felt so nervous. Like he never saw woman’s breasts before, like he never said this sentence in his work. “It’s because of the placement.” He nervously explained, like he needed to excuse himself and turned around to give you some privacy.

You smiled to yourself. Maybe you were shy that it was painful, but you really understood some things. You took off your clothing, carefully folding it and putting your bra on the top of it.

You wanted to scooped it in the corner of the couch, but what if someone is gonna come it and would like to sit there? You didn’t want to distribute some people by your clothes.

You didn’t even think about how irrational those thoughts were.

“Uh, where can I put my clothes?” You asked and Sirius turned around. And you were looking up at him like your life depended on him. Your hands were in front of you, holding your folded clothes like you were giving it to him, hiding your breasts that looked so hypnotizing to him.

“Oh,” he gasped. “You can leave it on the couch, angel.” It slipped so effortlessly that he wasn’t even ashamed of it. He felt how tensed you were. How awkward this situation felt, but you were so nice to him, your behaviour careful and light, even when your body posture looked like the opposite.

You placed your clothes back, brining your arms up to your chest to cover yourself. “I’m going to cover your breasts, I just need them to be as they are. You know… b-because-”

“I know,” you smiled at understanding. Sirius took a few napkins, fondling then in half and taping them together. “Could you please…?” Sirius pointed at your arms, suddenly he felt like a teenager who sees breasts for the first time. “Oh, yeah, sorry.” You said and quickly pulled your arms down.

Reliving your breasts at him and he felt how every thought of his is leaving him. Sirius’ eyes roamed all over your torso. From your pierced nipples to your bellybutton piercing and happy trail. And back to your face which told him how shy you got.

He saw many breasts at work weekly, maybe even daily but there was something about you that made him view you more than as another costumer.

“My hands may be a bit way too cold, so I apologise.” He suddenly murmured and you looked at away. You were looking into the wall as you felt his gloved cold fingers taping napkins over your breasts to cover you.

“Everything alright?”

“You’re cold, Mr. Black.” You chuckled and he felt like from now he has to do everything to hear your laugh again and again.

—

“Does it hurt?” He looked up at you from your breasts like every minute, just to sneak a glance at you to make sure you’re okay. “No, I’m okay, thank you.” You meekly said and he knew that you were lying a bit.

It’s not like this was your first tattoo, but it was a new place, it was large and you looked way too polite to complain.

“Just tell me if you need anything, alright?” He made sure and you nodded, swallowing the sharp pain that was creating on your ribs.

—

“…and you know, my mum is strict and religious so things like tattoos and piercings weren’t allowed. But now I’m adult and I have my own job and I live alone so I can do that.” You laughed at that like a little devil, bitting your tongue as you did.

“So rebellious?” Sirius smirked. He felt like he got onto your wave quickly. He was glad that he was able to get behind your shy walls.

“You make fun of it but actually yes. Who do you think that pierced my ears?”

Sirius stopped tattooing and looked up. There was at least 10 piercings in each ear. All those positions were right. Right in their spots as they were supposed to be, in angle they supposed to be, space between them as it was supposed. He was impressed.

“You?” He asked, his eyes widening. “Yeah, needles are ridiculously cheap. 40 needles for 1£? It made me experiment a lot.” You explained.

“Wait…” He thought, remembering his school years too. “You bought them in the pharmacy, right? Because piercing needles aren’t that cheap.” He did the same thing.

“Yes exactly.” You smiled. “So all alone?” He asked.

“Yeah, lots of them looked like a crap at the first try, so it took me all of those 40 needles to end up with something like this.” You felt a bit embarrassment to admit something like that. But your therapist said that it’s important not to be ashamed of your mistakes.

“Damn,” Sirius adjusted in his seat. “Brave girl.” He quickly pulled the picture of young Y/n living in strict religious household and doing her piercings in the middle of the night just to feel something.

He felt like he was slowly connecting to you. Like something deeper was connecting you both. But you didn’t know and he felt this urge to tell you that. Very few people knew that, but he felt safe with you.

“My mum…” He started.

—

“You okay?” He asked when he felt you tensed up underneath his touch. You shook your head and he immediately stopped. Putting down his gun and cooling down your skin with the back of his cold gloves. “What’s wrong, angel?” His head was hovering over yours and he saw a few tears escaping your eyes

“I’m so sorry, it hurt so much, I just didn’t expect it.” You quickly apologised and wiped your tears away. Suddenly feeling so small and embarrassed under his gaze.

“It’s okay, sweet girl. No need to apologise, alright? Let’s take a break.” He helped you sit up, holding your back in case your head would want to go spinny.

“Deep breathes, we have all the time in the world.” He promised and you took a deep shaky breath. “Here, drink up.” He handed you the fruit tea that was actually cold by now.

“Thank you.” You squeaked and nursed on the tea.

“I would like to say that we can stop, but that would make our tattoo unfinished.” He joked and you chuckled. Oh that sweet smile of yours, it’s gonna get him in trouble.

“No, I can do it.” You assured him and he smiled. “Knew you are brave.”

—

“Are you planning any piercings?” He asked as he was back on your skin.

“I actually do!” You tilted your head at him. You didn’t even wait for him and started talking. It felt like he found the right topic to talk about.

“I definitely want to get septum and tongue. I’m sure that both nostrils too.” You had this dreamy look on you, smile all sweet and pure.

“The rebel is rebelling.” You both laughed at that.

—

“I’ll talk to Remmy and find which one of us is free sooner and I’ll text you later today, alright?” He was walking you towards the main door, walking behind you like a dog.

“How do you feel though, everything okay?” He placed his hand on your shoulder, stopping you like he wasn’t ready to let you go yet.

“Yes of course! I’m gonna expect your message then. And yes I’m all okay. Just the tissue on the tattoo feels so fucking weird.” You shivered as you said that.

“You can take it off in a few hours, alright?”

—

“I see someone is love strucked.” Remus teased as he hugged his boyfriend from behind, tickling his tummy.

“She’s so magical.” Sirius breathed out.

“What was the with who’s free sooner, hm?” He asked as he kissed his neck. “For piercing.” Sirius said as he still eyed the door you left with.

“And probably for a date too. She’s way too sweet to left behind.” Sirius turned around in his arms and Remus laughed. “So now she’s sweet and not nice and weird?” Remus teased.

“Ah, fuck off mate. That was a glitch in matrix of me.”

#wolfstar #poly wolfstar x reader #tattoo au sirius black #tattoo au remus lupin #wolfstar x reader #wolfstar x reader fluff #wolfstar x you #wolfstar x you fluff #wolfstar x y/n #wolfstar x y/n fluff #tattoo artist!sirius black #remus lupin x reader #sirius black x reader #sirius black x reader fluff #sirius black x you #sirius black x you fluff #sirius black x y/n #sirius black x y/n fluff #freefall au

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