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mikalara-dracula · 3 years

Note

Hii :3 i love your blog, can i have headcanons of ayato, Subaru and shuu having a big crush on a girl but the girl doesnt like them back :3 thanks

When their crush doesn’t like them back

ft. Ayato, Subaru, and Shu

Hi there, Anon!

Aw, thank you, I appreciate that. Thank you so much for requesting as well! Tbh, I think I may have overdone it with how much I wrote here, but I was just so inspired lol. Hope you enjoy reading it. Feel free to request again anytime. :))

Parallel post: When their crush doesn't like them back (ft. Reiji, Laito, and Kanato)

Ayato:

Oh boy, he’s not going to take this lightly--oh no, not at all.

Ayato was literally raised to think that he’s the best out of his brothers and anyone else.

So, you not liking him back is not something he’s not going to accept . . . at least, not easily anyways.

However, before we get to the negative, let’s begin with how all of this started.

Ayato first noticed you at cheerleading practice.

(Okay, so I’m not sure if their school in DL necessarily has a cheerleading team, but considering the students play sports, there’s a chance that there might be, but let’s just imagine that there is one for this scenario.)

Anyways tho, you were busy practicing the cheer choreography for the next basketball game, and with Ayato being on the school’s basketball team, he noticed you practicing from far away as he was practicing on the court with his team.

He grew interested quite quickly to know who you were; the way your uniform displayed itself against your body, the gleam that sparkled in your eyes as you cheered with the rest of your team. From that point on, he was determined to get to know you and make you his girl.

Since he likes to make a grand entrance, how he met you was staged with a few of his guy friends since he wants to leave an impression.

You were standing in the crowded hall with your group of friends, just talking about the most random of things whilst you held your textbooks for next period until a guy with a hoodie ran past you and knocked you over, making you lose your balance as you started to fall.

To your luck though, someone swooped in and caught you before you could hit the ground, his red locks falling into his face as he held you securely in his arms, pulling you upward to help you stand on your feet again.

You were shocked. Not being able to hold back gratitude for saving you from such a fall, you’d thank, “Thank you for-,”

“No need to thank me, babe . . . . The name’s Ayato by the way.” He’d smirk, walking off to join his group of friends that were waiting for him at the end of the hall, soon cheering him on as they rounded into the next hall knowing that it had all gone according to plan.

Through witnessing everything that happened, everyone was whispering and gossiping about it in the halls. This would lead one of your friends to comment whilst giggling with the other girls in your group, “Wow Y/N, he’s quite the keeper.”

“He just saved me from falling, not death--honestly.” You’d remark, finding this to be blown out of proportion as the girl gang simply laughed at your reluctance to overreact like everyone else was--you just weren’t that type of person.

Now that you knew who he was, the game was definitely on.

He tries to impress you in lots of ways.

Such as with his basketball skills when he’s practicing with his team or during an actual game since you’re cheering for his team.

He’ll literally point to you from a distance every time he makes a shot, leaving you to blush while you’re standing at the side with your cheer team.

With him being quite cocky, he definitely tries to make you laugh.

During school hours, if you’re busy in the halls getting ready for next period, he tries to get your attention from afar--even if it’s from the other end of the hall--with the rest of his guy friends, a smirk on his face as he blows a kiss to you from a distance, leaving you to blush.

Eventually through him trying to impress and talk to you so much, he takes the opportunity to ask you out.

And of course, with you not having feelings for him, you’d say no.

He was expecting that you’d say yes, so getting rejected was really strange to him, but of course, he wasn’t going to give up that easily.

Since he has a major crush on you, he’s going to be insistent about going out with you.

Like, he’s not taking no for an answer.

He’d constantly harass you in the halls or in class about this, saying to stop playing hard to get when you’re making it perfectly clear that you have interest in him at all.

He’ll even pass you notes in class asking about the same thing or try to get your attention in class by whispering your name while everyone is busy and mouth ‘you look hot today’, leaving you to turn around in your seat and frown as this was getting annoying, his arrogance being a turn-off.

With being desperate, Ayato will even go as to steal your cheerleading uniform from your locker and hold it for ransom.

There was one time where you were walking to the girl’s locker room to get ready for cheer practice, which meant changing into your uniform. You were already late due to talking with a teacher after class, so you knew the locker room was empty since it was after school and most students had already gone home, and that your team was already practicing without you.

You went inside and opened your locker to find that the uniform was gone. Instantly, you questioned where it could have gone since you had just washed it yesterday and had placed it in there this morning before school had started, but a familiar, yet annoying voice soon rattled your thoughts.

“Hey babe, looking for this?”

You’d turn to see Ayato walking toward you, the uniform in his hands as a smirk displayed itself on his lips. You literally almost screamed knowing he was in the girl's locker room as this was not a place for him to be, your privacy feeling disturbed.

“Ayato, give it back.” You’d say, trying to take it from him, but he would be quick to hold it up high and out of your reach as you gave your best attempts to jump and grab it.

“Not so fast, sweetheart. You’ll get this back on one condition.”

“Fine.” You’d retort, feeling tired from all your attempts. “What is it?”

“Go out with me.”

“Ayato, how many times am I going to tell you that it’s not going to happen?”

“You can try to deny me all you want, but a girl has never said no to yours truly.”

“Well this one has.” You’d hiss, jumping up high enough this time as you finally grabbed hold of it and yanked it away from him. “I don’t know what it’s gonna take to make you understand that I’m not interested.”

There was an awkward silence between the two of you and you thought he would just leave. You were going to walk away and change, but you noticed he just continued to stand there. Being fed up with this, you’d hiss, “What?”

“You’re already late for practice. You’ll get there a lot faster if you let yours truly help you with your uniform.” He’d grin.

“Get out!” You’d scream, pushing him in the direction of the door.

It took an endless amount of attempts, but he’d eventually get the message that you just weren’t into him.

Once Ayato came to terms with himself and that you had no feelings for him, he basically ignores you at all costs.

For example, if he sees you in the hall, he’ll look or walk away and pretend he doesn’t see you--you’re basically erased to him.

Even if you tried to pull him aside to talk to him to work things out and just be friends, he’d simply brush you aside, hands in his pockets as he’d mutter ‘tch’ before walking away.

“Tch! How can she not like yours truly? . . . . Whatever. It’s her loss. She’ll never find another guy like me.”

Subaru:

Oh my, for him to like someone is quite difficult since he’s not even a fan of himself.

However, there was something captivating about you that caused this vampire’s undead heart to throb.

He hated the fact that he had feelings for you since he doesn’t want to feel weak for anyone, but you made him feel things in ways he couldn’t explain.

Every day at school was the same to him until he saw you. You were new to his school and the teacher introduced you to everyone and this was when he took note of your existence.

Since Subaru is a loner, you really had no idea who he was or that he even existed at first.

Just like everyone else, you would walk right past him in the halls, but it’s not because you were rude, you just didn’t know him and it would be strange to just start talking to someone you didn’t know without a reason.

He on the other hand noticed everything about you--your every movement, the way your smile would gleam, the way your style bewitched him along with how your intelligence astonished him during class discussions.

How you noticed him though was quite the opposite of ordinary.

You were once walking through the crowded halls at school and witnessed a physical fight taking place in the middle of the hall with two male students, Subaru being one of them as everyone huddled around to watch.

You saw the way his fist collided with the other male’s face as he sent him to the ground, several teachers soon arriving as they broke up the fight and sent both of them to the principal’s office.

At that point, you knew who he was and everyone was talking about that fight for weeks. Due to this, you heard rumors about him as well--about how getting in trouble was common for him due to him getting in fights with students in the past and that he was quite brash in general, but you weren’t one to judge.

Now, returning to him having a crush on you.

When in class with you, he will stare at you but will look away quickly since he doesn’t want to take any chances on being noticed by you or anyone else. The last thing he wants is for someone to suspect that he has a crush on you.

You were once assigned to be his partner in class and let’s say he was a nervous wreck about it all.

He was a lot meaner than usual, mostly because it’s a defense mechanism he uses to demonstrate his tough exterior so no one can take advantage or hurt him.

But deep down, we all know that this bby car is a total softy :’)).

Since you both had a project to complete together, you both met up in the library to prepare for it. You were both looking at the textbook to find the information you needed when your hand accidentally brushed against his. He instantly withdrew it, muttered ‘tch’ as he walked away to hide the blush that bloomed on his cheeks. This left you confused, but you decided not to question it since he was quite the enigma.

I’ve cannoned this in the past with @liannelara-dracula that he likes to corner you when you’re alone, especially during break, so he can have a small conversation with you.

He may say something slightly perverted to flirt tho ;)).

Through knowing each other, you like waving to him in the halls as you’re walking to class with your friends, your endearing smile dawning on him quite incandescently.

He’d never wave back at first, always muttering his infamous ‘tch’, and was usually just annoyed by your kindness, but with you not withdrawing your gentle nature, he soon started to grow a bit more comfortable with this.

When he reached this stage, he’s always taken back by you saying hi to him casually like that. He doesn’t really know what to do, a minor blush appearing on his cheeks as he'd slightly, but very awkwardly, lift and wave his hand, quickly looking away from you to avoid eye contact.

Your friends, however, would take note of you saying hi to him and would constantly be asking you as to why since he’s bad news and isn’t very approachable.

“Guys, he’s just misunderstood. It’s not like we really know him and we can’t just judge by what’s on the surface.” You'd say.

He really isn’t the type to just confess due to fear of rejection and his feelings grew more and more as he got to know you.

You really brought a lot of fun and joy to him, something he isn’t too familiar with due to his upbringing, in fact, he even started to smile a little bit each time he saw you.

Even his brothers took notice of his new behavior, a certain fedora-wearing vampire wanting to know more than what was on the surface when they were all riding home together once.

“Fufu~, what’s with the new attitude, Subaru? Why the smile? Is it about a girl?”

“Tch! Shut up!” He’d retort, looking away from all of them as a minor blush appeared on his cheeks, leaving them all to laugh at him.

Later on though, Subaru caught on to the idea of you not liking him back due to seeing you kissing your boyfriend in the halls one day.

He was crushed in all honesty and ended up recoiling back into his old life of being lonesome.

He rarely talks to you now. Since he knows you have someone else, he doesn’t want to bother with getting to know you any further since it would just hurt him more.

He’d also be a lot meaner and irritated than usual. In fact, it wouldn’t be surprising if he’d get into more physical fights due to his anger towards this situation.

He hates the idea of you not liking him back . . . but to be honest, he kind of expected it because he thought it was something that was too good to be true.

“It only makes sense that someone like her is already taken . . . . Tch! Like she’d ever date a piece of shit like me.”

Shu:

Considering his childhood trauma, for him to take an interest in someone is quite rare and almost unexpected.

Especially since he believes that if anyone associates themselves with him, they either end up dead or are left in a really bad situation they can’t get out of.

It took him a while to realize his feelings for you. He honestly just kept denying them for the longest time, but he accepted them later on since you were always on his mind.

However, even though he's realized them, bear in mind that he is an ass about his feelings since he always tries to push them away. This is mostly due to his experience with Edgar since it left quite a mark on his childhood.

Anyways, Shu first took notice of you during homeroom--which he actually bothered to attend for once xDD--and noticed you sitting in the far corner writing some things down in your notebook whilst your ears remained attentive to what the teacher was saying, your beauty being captivating to him.

By him not going to class a lot of the time, he wasn’t too familiar with a lot of his classmates. But with you being in homeroom hour, he actually started to attend it a lot more because he found you interesting—the way you focused throughout the period as you listened to instructions and paid no attention to the other boys who sought your attention when the teacher was either too busy teaching or doing something else.

By seeing you a lot in homeroom, he’d notice you in the halls whenever you were either conversing with your friends or going to your locker to grab the stuff you needed for your next class.

The way your hair would whip every time you turned, the sound of your laughter echoing in his ears every time you and your friends joked about something.

It was all so amusing to him, something he wouldn’t typically see.

With you piquing his interest, he wanted to make himself known to you. In other words, he wanted you to talk to him in some way, so he staged an opportunity.

You were running late to class one day. Since it was on the second floor you had to use the stairs, but you soon stopped when you saw someone occupying one of the steps that prevented you from ascending, his figure asleep as you recognized it to be Shu.

You had heard of Shu before due to his family name and because he was so popular with the girls, along with the fact that he always skipped class, but you never paid him much thought since you had your own clique of wholesome friends.

Since you were already running late and that was the only way to get to class, you’d politely approach him and ask him to move, but of course, he didn’t give a response or budge.

You supposed he was in a deep sleep, so you reached out to tap his shoulder, his eyes snapping open as he’d quickly grab your wrist, preventing you from giving him a nudge.

“Huh, touching a man you don’t even know. That’s quite lewd of you.” He’d smirk.

His remark caused you to slightly blush, “That- that’s not- I wasn’t doing anything like that.”

“Huh, surely doesn’t seem like it.”

You grew pretty annoyed as you’d send him a frown. “Look, can you move? I have to get to class. I’m already late and you’re making me get there even later.”

“You being late isn’t my problem. If you wanna pass, just pass.”

You’d sigh taking his suggestion, taking a step forward as you attempted to skip over the step he occupied. As you stepped over, he lifted a leg causing you to trip and land on the landing, pain traveling through your body as you shot him a glare knowing that what he did was on purpose.

“Hey! What the hell?! You did that on purpose, you jerk!”

“You’re imagining things. First you trip and then you wanna blame your clumsiness on me.”

He was so lying, and you knew that for sure. You didn’t just imagine it. You literally saw him do it.

“But you-,” You’d sigh, knowing it was going to be pointless to continue arguing with him, plus, you had a class to get to. “Whatever, I don’t have time for this. I have to get to class.”

As you’d leave, he would make a perverted remark about your skirt, a blush rushing up to your cheeks as you’d walk away and up the next flight of stairs to get to your class.

After class, your friends had asked why you were so late and you had told them about your encounter with Shu. They were in awe at the story and even teased you about it.

With that incident, things only escalated, especially with his endless flirting. He honestly gets a kick out of it.

Since he skips class a lot of the time, if you happen to pass him in the empty halls as you walk to class or elsewhere, he’s going to say something to you for sure.

This can range from him making more perverted remarks about your skirt, or your panties if he’s laying down; even going to the point of teasing you about being perverted when you’re not.

That motha.

He even accuses you of bothering him when he’s the one who started the conversation.

Says that you ‘walk too loud’ and that you’re spoiling his music because of that reason.

You’d grow fed up with this and with being so distraught about it, your friends would be bound to ask what was bothering you. You’d mention why, but they would only find it amusing considering who he is. After all, Shu isn’t really known to give much of his attention to anyone.

“Y’know, if he’s talking to you in the halls for no reason, that says something. He only talks to girls he has an interest in.” One of your friends would say.

“Interested my ass!” You’d retort, rolling your eyes. “He’s such an ass. He’s just some spoiled rich kid that’s probably never worked a day in his life.”

Honestly, Reiji would love you on account of this xDD.

I’ve also cannoned this with @liannelara-dracula that even though he’s lazy, he would take the time to get to know your schedule and show up everywhere you’d typically go.

And then, he’d accuse you of stalking him since you’re always running into him.

Since he’s pretty perceptive, Shu eventually noticed that you didn’t like him through one incident that he took note of in the hall one day. You were walking and you ran into your crush, your heart racing as he stopped to talk and say hi to you. You were pretty good friends with him and he was just the sweetest guy ever. You always felt butterflies in your stomach whenever you were around him and deep down, you hoped that things would change between you two eventually.

To Shu, it was plain as day that you liked someone else. He’s centuries-old and definitely knows how this stuff works, he’s not stupid. Plus, the asshole he was also listening to your heartbeat when you spoke to your crush, making it far more evident to himself that you had an interest in someone else.

By knowing about your crush, he does use it to piss you off. He’ll act like an even bigger ass now because he knows you don’t like him.

“Y’know, it’s never going to happen.” He’d tease, his infamous smirk being evident.

“A girl can dream.” You’d retort. “You seem to do it all day, so why can’t I?”

Based on his fear of someone getting hurt because of being involved with him, he’d never tell you that he liked you.

Is actually pretty accepting of the fact that you don’t like him, and to be honest, he thinks it’s better off this way due to his fear of destroying something he would later on cherish, but yet, he still carries on with being an ass towards you since it amuses him.

“You’re better off without me. Dream all you want about that guy, but I know he’d never satisfy you the way I could.”

#diabolik lovers #diabolik lovers heacanons #ayato sakamaki #subaru sakamaki #shu sakamaki

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kuroos-moon · 3 years

Text

Captains and Strong Independent S/o’s

☁︎︎ request: Oikawa, Kuroo and either Bokuto or Ushijima (I cant choose!) reacting to a (fem or g/n) reader who does some type of martial art and they’re kinda tough/strong and (maybe they’re the team manager and they don’t take no shit) and the captains kinda crush on them for it? (I like to imagine Oikawa having a tough gf who stops Iwa from being mean to him and jokingly threatens Iwa that if he wants to hurt Tohru he has to go through her

☁︎︎ pairing: oikawa x reader, kuroo x reader, ushijima x reader

☁︎︎ warning/s: swearing, felt a bit of angst while writing for ushijima’s idk why tho it might just be my imagination :>

☁︎︎ a/n: also dont know if it’s obvious but i kinda got carried away with ushijima’s

Oikawa Tohru

• is a smug little shit every time you’re with him or in the same room at least

• like,, he could piss Iwa-chan off to death and he won’t get hurt for it? now this is what he calls power

• sincerely loves and adores you, but at first, he kinda got sad that you’re so self-sufficient, you practically don’t need him

• but he’s now long accepted that you’re just so you… and in your relationship, it’s you who does the protecting and looking out by a whole lot (ofc it doesn’t mean he loves you less)

• that’s why he gets so so soft when he gets his turn in being the person who’s leaned on

• as their manager, he loves how you get things done so effectively, even Kyotani bows down to you, as he should—he always says in his head, smiling as he looks at the feral boy getting flustered around you

• he listens to you all the time and we all know Tohru backing down is so rare

“Oy, you’re overdoing it, let’s go.”

“Head home without me, Iwa-chan,” he mutters mindlessly as he screws up another serve, a scowl on his face as he bends down to get another ball; but he freezes at an instant upon Iwaizumi’s words—no, Iwaizumi’s threat.

“Suit yourself, I’ll call y/n.”

Oikawa has never changed stance so quickly in his life, cleaning up the gym as he sends smiles to his best friend’s way every five seconds, hoping he won’t tell on him on his cute but scary girl who could easily kick him unconscious.

• he uses your name to threaten anyone who wants to cross him and they will back down immediately

• also likes to show off because he knows you treasure him so much; he likes to be babied by you especially in front of others

“y/n-chan c’mere,” he softly says, whining a bit. The rest of his team look at the both of you in astonishment as you take the captain in your arms, Tohru’s cheek on your shoulder, looking back at the bewildered look on his teammate’s faces while you sit side by side on the bench.

They could never get used to someone as tough as you having such the softest spot for Shittykawa… like how could you even stand him?

“Really tired,” he mumbles, a small smile on his lips when you run your fingers through his hair. “I know, you were great as always, let’s head home so you could rest.”

“Y/n-chan, today, Iwa-chan hit my head when you were out to get water. It really hurt,” he says, still in your embrace as he smirks at his teammates.

Their mouths fall open, Iwaizumi’s eye twitching in irritation for his shitty best friend.

“And Maki-chan…” Hanamaki grits his teeth, looking at him pleadingly in panic as his mind runs through everything he did today, wondering what he could’ve done to your beloved. “He ate my milk bread; I was really hungry.”

Yup, Maki and Iwaizumi knew there was hell to pay, gulping in unison when you pull away from your boyfriend and narrow your eyes at them.

“Iwa-chan. I thought we agreed you weren’t hitting Tohru again.”

A chill runs down his spine, Tohru simply looks at you with pride, pulling you into his lap as he wraps his arms around your waist before you get the chance to throw hands at Iwaizumi.

Kuroo Tetsuro

• loves loves LOVES your remarks, your attitude, the way you take no crap from anyone, like “ah, he’s scared shitless, that’s my girl”

• dw, you’re not a thug or anything, but men who force their feelings on you will see heaven’s gates early

• and kuroo’s so pleased about it. sure, he’d love to get the chance to act all cool and brooding and possessive in front of other suitors but what’s more fun is watching their dejected faces as you say—

• “how many times do I have to turn you down? I have my tetsuro, now back the fuck off or I’ll break your nose.”

• you had no idea he was just outside your classroom waiting for you, arms crossed and a cocky grin stretching his lips when you lock eyes with him

• “chibi-chan!” he calls off cheerily, and you bet he’ll tease you about it til death do you part

• “don’t just stand there, give your tetsuro a hug!”

• laughs about how your friendly banters with yamamoto always end up with you winning the argument

• you rub off as mean bc you won’t take any disrespect, even a little—and that’s great

• those are one of the things he loves about you

• but he’s always worried you might get hurt or hated for it, though he knows you are very much capable of beating anyone up even kuroo himself

• so he’s always holding you back, and I can’t stress this enough, but this man knows you could fend for yourself and he is so proud you’re his partner

• he just wants to make certain that no one’ll hurt you, okay kitten?

• your conversations often go like this:

“I’ll beat up whoever tries to lay a hand on me.”

“don’t say such reckless things, you’re not superman.”

“uhuh, geez, I’ll be fine, I don’t need you to walk me home.”

“well news flash, your tetsuro, needs his y/n to walk him ho—ow,” he mutters when you slap his chest.

“go home with kenma.”

“I don’t want kenma,” he scowls, already irked that this is turning into an argument.

“too bad,” you deadpan.

“ugh,” he groans, “imagine a girlfriend who actually listens to you, just imagine.”

• he is the one and only person you’ll gladly accept lectures from, bc his lectures are always reasonable and for your own good

after checking and verifying that you were completely okay, you knew he was about to go down to business.

“you got into a fight? What are you? a thug?” he crosses his arms. You were both inside the gym along with the rest of his teammates who looked like they were far too preoccupied to listen. They were all clearly listening in though, except Kenma of course.

watching your figures from a few feet away, it was obvious that he was scolding you, and Lev already had a ridiculous visualization of you hitting Kuroo. Everyone was worried you’ll fight him, or maybe even hit him, well, everyone except Kenma, of course.

The setter knew that you would never ever lay a hand on kuroo as if the 6’1 captain was fragile. He also knew that you loved and respected kuroo too much to actually get agitated just because he was scolding you, you aren’t an unreasonable person. Lastly, he knew that kuroo would be going soft on you in five minutes tops, his best friend is hopeless like that.

Kenma was right, he always is. Your back is glued to the wall behind you, Kuroo’s hand beside your head, his face extremely close to yours that you’re left flustered which is rare.

After you were rambling on about how you had to put that girl in her place, going off about how it made you so mad and he should cut you some slack, he knew just how to shut you up. And it worked. You’re speechless.

“what was that again, hm? go on, you surely had a lot to say,” he mutters, acting all tough as if he wasn’t dying to just kiss you now. when you don’t respond and stare at him and his lips instead, he already gives in. yes, just like that. “you were wrong to do that, okay?” he breathes, the worry from earlier on making its way out through his voice.

“I know, I’m sorry.”

Locking lips with you, you pull him closer to yourself, and kuroo had purposely decided to kabedon you on this wall since his broad back would be shielding the two of you from his teammates’ line of sight.

After pulling away, he pats your head, licking his lips. “I forgive you, I’m not mad anymore.” You look away in embarrassment, realizing how petty you must’ve seemed to him. He sighs before hugging you, chin atop your head.

“Make this the last time, okay? I swear you’re shortening my lifespan having me worried all the time.”

You hug him tighter as a response, kuroo letting out a breath of contentment. Regardless of how tough you are outside; you are and always will be his soft little kitten and it was his greatest honor that you allow him to take care of you like this.

Ushijima Wakatoshi

• is probably a little too used to the idea of his most treasured girlfriend being extremely capable and self-sufficient

• his teammates would always look at him like ‘why are you not stepping in,’ every time you’re in a tough spot i.e. having an argument with someone or having a too-touchy suitor

• then they’d be like “oh, that’s why,” after you flung the despicable creature out to space

• he thinks so highly of you, not only are you physically strong, you’re even tougher on the inside too

• this is kinda a given but I’ll say it anyway—he can be unintentionally insensitive (well your relationship is kinda new)

• example no 1:

you were arguing with goshiki and while he would normally like to ignore you and let you have your way; he was getting annoyed bc the argument was far too petty.

“I’m gonna surpass him!”

“and I’m telling you that you ca-

your mouth is clamped with a big hand, and it took you only a second to realize it was Wakatoshi because only he would have the nerve to lay a hand on you like this. he still doesn’t say anything, dragging you with him in an empty hallway for privacy.

finally after you stopped walking, he turns to you and looks at you expectantly. “what was that for? Did you even wash your hand,” you mutter, slightly annoyed.

“I haven’t touched the ball yet, don’t worry,” he lowly says, making you sulk because he totally missed your point. “still, you didn’t have to make me shut up by clamping your hand against my mouth.” He’s too… not gentle with you sometimes.

“you were going to say something you shouldn’t to goshiki.”

“he said something he shouldn’t have.”

he only narrows his eyes at you and you do the same, anyone from your class would’ve been scared at the sight. You were both known as the cutest yet intimidatingly scary couple.

• you were in the early stages of dating and though you understood each other well, it wasn’t really enough yet

• it’s all good though, because once you tell him that he was too uncaring of you and your feelings he does something that no other man would do:

• apologize, admit his mistake, reflect on it a lot and,,, actually change!!

• he’s much softer to you after that, and he finally realizes that you were still his precious girl and you were sensitive when it came to him

• cursed himself for being too reliant on how you never seemed sensitive or needy

• doesn’t dwell too much on regret, just treats you 100x times better

• is fascinated with your passion for martial arts but is against you overdoing training

• one time, he was torn between dragging you out of practice or just turning a blind eye to your visible exhaustion since you’re always so tough anyway, you’ll manage

• but then he remembers his promise to himself to never treat you like you aren’t the most special person to him so he excuses himself from practice and heads to your training room

you sat alone, your back to the wall. everyone else has gone home but you stayed because your muscles were too sore and you felt like you couldn’t even walk for another day. maybe it had something to do with how you’ve been training too much.

you’re startled upon seeing shoes on the floor you blankly stared at, looking up to meet eyes with Ushijima. “Wakatoshi,” you say in surprise.

he is expressionless as he bends down across you between your legs, and you had to admit this was something you weren’t used to from him. “are you okay?” he asks, his voice soft as velvet. you’re taken aback by his question, looking away in embarrassment.

Wakatoshi rarely asks you that, and most of the time it was only when you said the word ‘ow’ when you accidentally hit something. you clear your throat, bringing your hands together to play with your fingers, “I’m okay.”

it was silent for a few seconds before you hear him sigh, not only that, warm, gentle hands had found its way to yours and you look at him, bewildered. “is this okay?” he asks, looking down at both your hands and you nod. “your hands are much smaller, compared to mine at least.” he says, but you’re too flustered to even understand that.

“are other things okay too?” he asks, and like his former statement, you didn’t understand. your silence doesn’t stop him though, he decided to push his luck. tugged gently by your wrist, your back’s no longer pressed to the wall as ushijima wakatoshi pulls you in his arms for the first time in your very few months of dating.

“wakatoshi,” you mumble, your heart racing so much you’re sure he feels it against his chest. he’s so warm, welcoming, and in his loving hold felt like the rightest place to be. “you’re not feeling okay.”

you don’t respond, opting to bury your face at the crook of his neck instead. “I’m here, I know you’re tired.”

you both stay in that position for a long time, it was addicting to be cradled in his arms and he felt the same. “y/n,” he whispers, and you hum in response.

“you’re strong. very strong. you don’t need a man at all.”

your heart skips a beat, “toshi are you breaking up with me?”

you hear a soft chuckle ring in your ears, “let me finish. as I said, you’re very strong. you look like you’re always so tough. but you’re not, and so…” he trails off, so you pull away to look at him, hesitance evident in his eyes, his palm still pressed at the small of your back.

“you’re not always strong. in fact if I dare say, you are fragile, and I care about you. so please, allow me to be there for you all the time, I’ll be here, just like now.”

General Taglist [Open]: @noyasbitchh @dinablossom @haru-the-secret @strayczennies @lalisbitch @tinymidgetsstuff @animebs @astrealia @kittykitkatstrawberry @hajimesbbygrl @kellesvt @24hr7dysdizzy @arnxldss @elianetsantana @vicassa @floraraine @beanst0ck @leinnah @kageyamasgirl @deafeningart @minibobabottle @franko-pop @moonlightaangel @throughtheinterstices @micasaessakusa @dixonsbugaboo @thevillagehiddenintheinternet @ultzuko @yappychan @dipsydoo542 @devilgirlcrybabiey @dai-tsukki-desu

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu scenarios #oikawa x reader #kuroo x reader #ushijima x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu!! scenarios #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu!! headcanons #oikawa tohru #ushijima wakatoshi #kuroo tetsuro

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thestarrynightslover · 3 years

Text

You and Me

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

Word count: 2,649

Warnings: Angsttt, slight swearing, mentions of harassment and violence (all show-like, tho).

Summary: Jay and (y/n) were trying to navigate their secret workplace romance when an unexpected event agitates their feelings about it.

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the One Chicago shows, or its characters, also not associated with it in any way or know anyone involved with it.

A/N: No, I am not very sure of what exactly this is, sorry! I think it turned out kinda messy but, being honest, I just really wanted to write their interactions within that kind of angst!

Anyways, I hope this isn’t too bad and I am very sorry about dropping this kind of imagine instead of something good enough to help us heal from the finales.

(y/n) = (your name) (y/l/n) = (your last name) (y/n/n) = (your nickname)

| masterlist |

It had been about 20 minutes since you finally convinced Kevin that you were okay and that he should go home when you heard someone knock on the door. You knew it was him. It had to be him. You needed it to be him. So you quickly moved to open, after checking the peephole. As soon as there was a hint of an opening, you felt Jay’s arms around you, his breath on your neck, and his voice cracking with concern.

"Oh my God, baby, I was so worried about you!" He sounded absolutely desperate, his arms enveloping you in just the way your own despair required him to.

"I know, I know... I just... I-" You tried to let out but couldn't continue because you'd started sobbing. Around Jay, it was inevitable for you to put your walls down. And, almost as soon as your tears started to fall, your boyfriend brought you even closer; holding you tightly by the waist with one arm, the other stroking your hair.

"Shh, it's gonna be okay, princess. You're okay now." He told you, but the truth was he wanted to cry as well. Not only had those past days been pure agony for him — a lonely agony —, but, also, because, even with you like that, you both knew that Jay wouldn't be able to keep a promise to stay the night if he got a call from work. Because no one knew that he needed to stay by your side. That you needed him there. Because no one knew how much all of that was hurting him, too. Because no one knew anything.

"I'm just- I just came so- so close this time, you know?" You tried to let him in on how you were feeling, pulling away a little so you could see his face better.

"I know." He replied, letting out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. "And it all happened so suddenly, I felt so stupid, powerless..." Jay confessed, as he remembered the operation that’d gotten you abducted, leaving the entire team with no clue on how it happened.

But, for your boyfriend, it was pretty clear, though: the two of you were covering one side of the building and, afraid you might get upset with him for hovering, he didn’t have your back the way he should have. It was his fault that it all happened to you.

"Jay... That wasn't your fault, okay?” You stated firmly, as if you knew exactly what he was thinking. “None of us could've guessed that it would turn into something that, um, bad..." You said, not being able to stop the shiver that ran through your body, which made Jay go back to holding you close.

"Still, I should have done a better job at protecting you-" He started to mutter quietly in your hair, but you stopped him with a disapproving look.

"Stop, okay? Just stop! I'm a cop too, I have been a cop for about the same time that you have and I never needed or had a boyfriend protecting me in some special manner on the job!" He just stared at you, shock and hurt in his eyes.

"I know that, okay? I do know that." He told you quickly, as his hands went up from your sides, in a sign of surrender. "And I'm sorry if it came across as if I thought any differently. I'm sorry, baby. It's just that-" He paused for a moment, looking so hurt while sighing deeply, "It was really hard to not know what was going on with you, even after you went to the hospital... I mean they called Kevin to go stay with you in the hospital!" Another sigh, this time, an annoyed one. "And, seeing that, I guess that I just- I just wished that none of it had happened?"

"Jay..."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't be saying this right now. I'm making this about me, when it's actually about you, geez." He reprehended himself while pinching the bridge of his nose.

"No, no! It's okay. Because this is about you, too. And I'm glad you're telling me how you feel." Hearing that, he just looked at you and wondered about how on Earth he had managed to snatch someone like you. "First things first: what happened to me wasn't your fault. I don’t say this often but: as great a partner as Kevin is, I love working by your side. And, I do it without any fear or concern because I know you'll have my back. One hundred percent." You assured him while giving his hand a gentle squeeze, "now, the second thing: you do know that they only called Kevin because he is my partner, right?"

"I, uh, I do know that," yet another sigh.

"Okay, Jay. I love you and I really need you right now. But, if you don't stop sighing and just say what you wanna say already, I will kick you out of here." At that, he couldn't help but to let out a soft chuckle. God, you loved his smile.

"I don't wanna upset you with this. Especially now. But, I guess, I just would have liked to be the one they called." Seeing the instant frown you made, he clarified: "Not as your partner. As your boyfriend."

You had to admit that, even though you knew going public with your relationship was something Jay thought a lot about, you weren't expecting him to say that at all. Not at that moment, at least. And, being the not-so-calm person you were, the conversation quickly took a turn.

"What the hell? I just got back from the worst moment of my life and you wanna use that- pry on that to pressure me into going public?" God, that was harsh. You knew as soon as the words left your mouth. You regretted it as soon as the words left your mouth. But you didn't dare to open it again, as you watched his face go from hurt to annoyance and then a hint of anger.

"You're kidding, right?" You didn't answer. "Please, tell me you're kidding?"

"Babe, I'm-"

"You're what? You're sorry? Because, man, that shit you just said? That hurt!" He stood there in silence for a moment before continuing: "do you have any idea of what these past days were like for me? You think I'm bringing this up now just because I wanna shout to everyone that you're my girlfriend? Claim you as mine or whatever bullshit reason you think I have for wanting to go public?” You still couldn’t say anything, so he went on, “well, it's not any of that. I'm talking about this because you were missing for two entire fucking days that felt like forever to me, but I couldn't tell anyone how I'd die if anything happened to you because, hey! I was respecting your wishes! I felt guilty about the operation and thought that the least I could do was keep my pain all to myself. Which is kinda funny because you're always telling me not to bottle up my emotions!" By then you were crying, just because you were too mad at yourself for making him feel like that, and he paused but only to take a breath: "But, you know that all of that wasn't even what hurt the most? The worst part was when I got a text from Burgess on the chat group saying that they'd found you and had taken you to Med, but that we could continue doing our surveillance on one of the offenders because Kev was already on the way there!" He shouted this time, which made you wince a little — even though he looked more hurt than angry, really. Running his hands through his hair, Jay completed: "and, now, that I'm finally able to be with you- to- to know for myself that you're okay! You suggest that I was-" He couldn't even finish the sentence, which showed even more just how distraught he truly was. "I guess I just- I just can't believe that you don't see that all I wanna do is be here. With you. Taking care of you. Which is all I wish I could’ve done at the hospital, too…"

"I know, Jay." You whispered with a weak voice. Unsure that he'd heard you, you tried it a bit louder: "I know, Jay. And, trust me, I am so sorry for what I said! I don't- I just… I just wish it didn't have to be this complicated…" You knew what that sounded like. And, God, you were terrified about it. How could not you find anything good enough to say?

"Maybe I shouldn't be saying this… Maybe I shouldn't be trying anymore…” Because it sure looks like you gave it up, he wanted to add, "but I- I need to at least ask. Why does it have to be so complicated?"

"Jay, babe-"

"No! Don't do that! Don't try and stall me with that soft tone! I just wanna know why!"

"You know why, Jay!"

"I don't! I really don't! Or have you forgotten that all you did so far was give me half-ass excuses about privacy and being shy?"

"Okay! You wanna know why?" You half-asked, half-barked at him, "it's because I am scared of what will happen! That's why! Throughout all of my career, I've had to prove myself, then I got this sort of arranged job at Intelligence which not only threw all of my hard work to hell but, also, never lets me rest because it never really feels like I'm a part of that so-called family you guys have! And Voight? Every single day I still feel like he's testing me! Giving me the silliest assignments and being overly mad whenever I get the lead on a case! But, somehow — as messed up as it may sound —, I don't wanna lose that job! I don't wanna risk going back to the unit I came from, where I was constantly harassed and intimidated!" You blurted it all out, only stopping to take a breath while Jay simply stood there looking completely shocked. "And you, Jay, as great as you are — and you're literally the best thing that's ever happened to me —, you can very easily put all of that at risk." Now it was your turn to sigh. You could only hope that you sounded as defeated as you felt: having to give up the guy who was probably the love of your life just to not go from one toxic work environment back to an even more toxic one. Your mouth tasted sour after that realization, which just made you remember how sweet Jay's always was.

"You never told me any of that." He muttered quietly, pulling you out of your thoughts.

"I know and I'm sorry. I just… Thought it would get better. Eventually."

"You know I could have helped, right?" He stated sadly, then adding with a shred of hope: "You know… Maybe I still can?"

"Jay… Let's just not make this harder. Please."

"Just hear me out for a second: you are a part of our family." At that you just scoffed and looked the other way, making him pull your chin to connect your eyes again. "You are. I said I was going crazy with you missing but they all were too, including Voight."

"Yeah, right."

"It's true! Why would I lie to you about this? He looked truly haunted and, if I'm being honest, I think he just hoped he wouldn't get too close to you, to keep his head on straight in case something like this ever happened." He gulped harshly before continuing, "in case something worse happened. I think he simply can't handle losing anyone else, (y/n/n)."

"Y- you really think that?" You asked him and, you'd be lying if you said that you didn't get just a little hopeful.

"I do, darling," he told you in a soft tone. "And I'm not making excuses for him here or anything, okay? I'm just tryna tell you that we can deal with Voight. We can deal with rumors. I swear I will fucking kill anyone who dares to even touch your name on that stupid department!"

"Jay!" You started to reprehend again, even though you knew that he was just trying to lighten the mood. "That is exactly the kind of stuff you can't even think about doing after we go public!" You told him while spatting his arm.

"Ouch! Wait a second, did you really just say after we go public?" The way his eyes twinkled at that moment was enough to get you to agree with anything he wanted, really.

"But, hey! Don't get all exci-" You couldn't finish your sentence as he had already swept you off your feet and started kissing you all over. It hurt a little, due to your bruises, but it's not like you actually gave a damn about it.

"Don't get excited? Lady, I'm already over the moon!" He told you with the biggest smile you’d ever seen.

“Oh, God. You look so damn cute right now!! I can’t believe that I-” You cut yourself off because your voice started to crack while a big amount of sorrowful tears rolled down your cheeks. Seeing you like that, once more, made Jay start panicking a little, scared that maybe you were backing down on your relationship again.

“Baby? What’s wrong? Talk to me, please, (y/n/n).” Hearing the confusion in his plead sort of brought you back to say:

“I- I just can’t believe that I said the things I said to you! I hurt you! I hurt you in the kind of way I was scared you were you gonna get hurt when it seemed like I was gonna-”

“Don’t you dare complete that sentence, okay?!?” He half-asked, half-begged you, letting on so much heartbreak, “first of all: nothing could have ever hurt me in the way you being gone did. No matter how hard you might have tried, you just wouldn’t be able to get there, girl.” He said more casually, shrugging his shoulders in a way that made you crack a small smile. “And, second: I don’t want you thinking about me, in any way, when you're out there in the field. You just can't, love."

"I know, but at that moment, I-"

"Look, princess, you need to promise me that you will try your best to never do that again, okay? Because if you do, if the people we chase see any weaknesses they'll take advantage of it. And, then... But I know it's hard. You're the first thing on my mind whenever something goes south too, but I just- I love you too much to face the idea of losing you! So you need to promise me that you will keep your head one hundred percent focused on whatever is at hand, please, babe!" He begged you with such urgency in his voice that new tears started rolling down your already marked face.

"Oh, Jay... I love you, too, okay? More than anything in the world! But you know that, when we're in that kinda moment, our minds sometimes just wonder..." Seeing his concerned expression, you decided to add: "However, if you promise me you'll try your best to focus on your work, in the same way, I'll promise it too." At that, he gave you a cheeky smile.

"Deal. Now let's get you in bed cause it's been a long couple of days, detective." He said, picking you up one more time and carrying you to your bedroom.

"Oh my God! Jay, put me down!!" You squealed out, though you didn't really want him to put you down, ever.

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hyunjilicious · 4 years

Text

that night [harry styles]

A best friends to something else type of story. Exactly 7.8k (literally 7800 words which is scary) and you know I can’t write that much without SMUT. This takes place during a sleepover at the end of quarantine! Maybe tell me what you thought? :) (I promise I’ll edit this soon!)

“Show me yer phone, love” Harry groaned, sending you the coldest of death stares. The night started off as usual, you two just watching some old documentaries, paying more or less attention to them as you mostly just sat and talked. Things took a turn when your phone started blowing up with messages. Being the kind of person who always replies in an instant, suspicions arose when you decided to completely ignore the texts. Although Harry never violated your privacy and never pushed you for answers you didn’t want to give, when you started laughing and got nervous about whoever it was that kept texting you, he figured it would be worth it to push your buttons.

“I said no” you repeated yourself, standing up from the couch. There were two main reasons you didn’t want to talk about the person texting you, and these 2 reasons were also probably the only two things in the world you wouldn’t want to discuss with him.

“Why no’?” he asked offended, following you into the kitchen, like a small child begging his parents to let him have his way, “What can be tha’ bad? I wouldn’t have asked any questions if yeh hadn’t been so off about it from the start”

You turned and looked at him dead in the eye, contemplating what to say next. He beat you to it.

“Is it a guy? Have you been seein’ someone?” Harry asked as he walked over to you, completely ignoring your personal space. “Is tha’ it? I don’t wanna read yeh texts, just tell me yes or no, and I’ll drop it. Promise”

You took a deep breath. “Yes, it’s a guy” you said calmly, “But we’re not seeing each other”

“Then why does he keep texting yeh like crazy?”

“Crazy…” you sighed, tapping your chin, “Good description”

“Come on, Y/n” Harry whined, tapping your shoulder as he walked past you and towards the refrigerator, “Just tell me, I’m really curious, crazy how?”

“Promise you’re not gonna freak out?” you laughed, grabbing whatever he was pulling out of the fridge and handing to you. You stopped paying attention after three cups of pudding and one bottle of wine.

“When have I ever freaked out?” he joked, mocking himself. He was usually a calm person, more composed than anyone you’ve ever met, and he less than rarely got angry. And from those times when he did lose his temper, 90% of cases were mild and he was still calmer than anyone else in that kind of situation, but that 10% left was pure terror. When his friends told you years ago that nothing’s scarier than Harry when he was truly mad, you didn’t quite believe them. You had to see for yourself to accept it. It only happened a few times in almost 5 years, but you always still did everything you could to keep him from going off again.

“Ok, so” you started speaking as you rummaged around your kitchen for bowls and glasses, “His name is Marcus and we actually met on Tinder-”

“Wait a second” he cut you off, “During the lock down?”

“Oh, no. It happened before all of this madness. Around january, I think”

It was obvious he was already bothered by how this conversation started, but he did his best to control himself so you wouldn’t decide to drop it. “Pretty serious, then, huh?” he said eventually.

“Literally the opposite” you laughed, pouring the pudding into the bowl, “We saw each other once-” and it hurt you to say the following part but you did it nonetheless, “hooked up, and didn’t talk since”

Pure annoyance was readable on his features. “Apparently haven’t talked until now?”

“Yeah, I mean-” you cringed, “He texted me like a week or so ago and we didn’t - vibe, and he got weird, so like I muted the conversation for 7 days because I didn’t want him to bother me anymore but he got so defensive it was funny so I didn’t really wanna block him”

“Yeh muted the guy a week ago and he still keeps trying?” Harry asked, completely taken aback, “Can’t blame him, but still, tha’s a bit much”

“It is” you nodded in agreement, and motioned for him to open the bottle of wine for you.

“He must have liked yeh a lot” he mumbled, twisting the corkscrew into the top of the bottle, “Maybe you two had a really great time, and he-”

“Harry” you stopped him, leaning your head to the side, “I know you’re squeezing information out of me right now, but I honestly don’t think you want to hear more of this”

“Ok” he sighed defeated, “I’m gonna stop pushin’ yeh. Thanks for tellin’ me tho. And sorry if I crossed any lines''

“You haven’t, H” you smiled, giving him a hug from behind. “It’s fine”

After gathering everything you had fixed up to take into the living room, the pudding and the wine, as you passed the threshold of the kitchen, you heard Harry speak up, traces of amusement audible in his voice. “But like… At least was the sex good?”

“You want me to answer that?” you chuckled, plopping down on the couch. “Do you seriously want me to answer that?”

“Yeah” Harry shrugged, smiling innocently.

“It was horrible” you said bluntly and watched his grin wilt away. “Probably the worst sex I’ve ever had. No, no, no.. Definitely the worst sex I have ever had in my entire life”

His mouth fell agape. “Seriously? Why?”

“Well, i got to his house… And you know, up until then everything was fine, like he seemed like a completely normal and fun guy while we texted but like, as soon as i got to his place he became really… I don’t even know how to put it, he was um.. Very clingy and weird and we talked for a bit but then when we went to his room he turned into literally the biggest asshole I met”

“What?” Harry exclaimed, “Tha’s not wha’ I expected”

“Exactly!” you laughed, “Neither did I!”

“Then wha’ happened?”

“I went down on him and he didn’t do the same because apparently he finds that gross? That’s what he told me but I didn’t wanna get into it because I went there to get dick so I was like let’s just fuck, and we did… We made out a bit, got him worked up again, and when we fucked I literally thought something was wrong with me, because he just.. I don’t know. Bumped into me and after he finished I was there like… What just happened?”

“Yeh were right when yeh said I didn’t wanna hear this”

“Told you” you giggled, grabbing your pudding and toying with your teaspoon.

“Jus’ stop using Tinder, please” Harry eventually shook his head.

“A girl has needs, ok?”

He was enraged and completely ignored your words, “And wha’ does he want from yeh now? He really thinks yeh’d see him again? Really?”

“I don’t even know what he’s been saying, honestly” you shrugged.

“Can I see?”

“Can you like, read from the notification box? I don’t wanna leave him on seen”

Harry nodded in agreement and you gave him your phone. He pressed the lock button, the screen lit up, and it was instantly flooded with texts from him. Since you put the conversation on mute a week ago, you had no idea what he had been saying. It seemed that he didn’t appreciate your lack of interest and that he didn’t bother to hold back.

‘You pathetic whore, u really think ur gonna find someone better than me? U think ur so high and mighty and hot but ur gonna die alone you bitch. Do u feel better about yourself if u juts ignore my texts???? Well good for fucking u-’ and Harry locked the phone, the screen going black.

“The fuck did I just read?” he questioned, his annoyance from earlier, now morphing into pure anger.

“You said you wanted to read” you shook your head.

“Why does he think he can talk to yeh like that?”

“I don’t honestly care” you sighed, “It’s not like I’ll ever see him again, so he can go and say anything he wants”

“‘S not how that works, darlin’” he said.

"Can we drop this, please" you sighed, unable to quite look in his direction, "I don't like this"

"Well-" Harry erupted and judging by the way his voice instantly died down, you could tell he almost lost control, "I don't fucking like it either, ok? But yeh shouldn't jus' accept tha'!"

"I wouldn't call it acceptance, H" you shook your head, discarding your bowl of pudding and jumping straight to the bottle of wine. "I told him I'm not interested, and I stopped replying. It's not acceptance... he just keeps trying"

"But for some reason yeh're letting him talk t' yeh like tha'"

"Well-" you shrugged, and took a big gulp of red wine, "He talks by himself"

"Y/n…" Harry called, his voice soft and you could tell that there was anger hidden somewhere deep inside, but you still appreciated the fact that he managed to keep it contained. He extended his arm, his fingers brushing against the side of your thigh. It was a soft, delicate touch, that made every hair on your body stand up. He did it to get your attention and boy, did it work. Instantly, your eyes snapped to his, and were met with something you did not see coming. "Can I say something?" he asked cautiously, his eyes shining with genuine worry.

"You're making this into something much more significant than it actually is"

"I'll drop it" he eventually nodded, "If you promise me something"

"What?"

"If anythin' similar to this happens again, tell me"

"And what are you gonna do about it?" you giggled, trying to lighten the mood. As you kept staring into his green eyes, you brought the wine bottle up to your lips, took a long sip, and then handed it to him.

He took the bottle out of your hands, seemingly not giving more than two shits about it. The warmth in his eyes accentuated as his eyebrows gathered into a concerned furrow, "Make sure it doesn't get to yeh"

"It doesn't" you smiled.

"Lemme make sure"

"Ok, Harry" you laughed, "I promise you that the next time a guy from Tinder gets mad about me not reciprocating the feeling, and he starts sending me that kind of texts, I will tell you"

The sarcasm just flowed out of you, and he was not impressed.

"I meant in general, love"

"Any guy?" you taunted, "Not just from tinder?"

"Fucking put on tha’ movie" he shook his head, "I know yeh too well. Won't get anywhere until you get some wine in tha’ belly"

"That's your plan?" you laughed, "Get me drunk and make me spill all my secrets?"

"I never assumed you had any secrets, but yeah, now I wanna know those too" Harry grinned, throwing his arm around you and pulling you to his chest. Although this kind of intimacy was something you've been somewhat used to, tonight it was just a bit more difficult to bear. And it may all have been due to the way he mentioned he wouldn’t want anything to get to your head, and the way he said he’d make sure of it. Even though you weren’t truly clear how he’d do that and what exactly was going through his head, it was crystal clear how you’d have him do that.

But now was not the time. You glued your eyes to the TV screen, and begged your brain to focus on the movie in front of you and not whatever Harry was thinking about, mere inches away from you.

There had been something in the air that night, because neither of you managed to pay any kind of attention to the movie anymore. You talked, the conversation not going back to the previous topic, you laughed, gossiped like there was no tomorrow, and now it was almost 4am, and you and Harry were 3 bottles of wine in. Deciding to cut the alcohol before it was too late, you settled for water, as Harry went on to finish a weird story he once heard from a hippie touring the states in his van. He was completely smitten, his eyes shone with admiration for the old man. Harry spoke with words of great respect about a life he wished he could once live. It was only a matter of time until it would get to you.

“But,” you sighed, laying down and placing your head into his lap, “You really seem like the kind of guy to pack his bags and just leave. Like get a couple of friends or something, leave a note saying you’ll eventually be back, and just travel around the world”

“I kinda already do tha’ love” Harry laughed, double chin showing as he looked down at you.

“Not what I meant” you shook your head, “And you know it”

“Wha’ did yeh mean, then?”

He looked down at you, his hands finding their way into your hair as you contemplated how to put the words together. “I don’t know… Less social interaction-” you finally said, “Make it less about living the same songs in front of thousands of people, and more about living a completely new experience as you really get to know just a handful of people”

He didn’t look convinced. His dimples were showing, and a chuckle was threatening to escape his lips.

“That didn’t make any sense, did it?” you laughed.

“It did” Harry smiled, “Might have’ta resume this in tha’ morning, but i think i got the idea”

You pointed your finger to him, “Best”

“Me?” he grinned, grabbing your hand, “Oh, stop it!”

“Not you, your idea”

“Nice save, love”

You wanted to object and keep this topic going as the butterflies in your stomach started to riot, but just as you opened your mouth to speak, the sound of your phone receiving another text filled the air. In an instant, your eyes locked with Harry’s and you knew he wasn’t gonna let any of that shit slide. Not wanting to give him the chance to protest, you sprung up and leaned towards the coffee table, your fingers barely managing to brush against the side of your phone before Harry grabbed your waist and yanked you back, pressing you against the cushions of the sofa as he hovered above you.

The intimacy and urgency of this whole charade made your skin crawl, and you couldn’t help but let a few giggles escape, “What are you doing?” you laughed.

“Not lettin’ tha’ asshole ruin your night, love” Harry smirked, tilting your head so that you had to face him.

“I’ll see the text in the morning and it will ruin my whole day” you played along, but as it turned out, you dug your own grave.

“Oh?” he grinned, “So it does get to you”

“No!” you belted, “That is not what I meant, Jesus harry”

“Come on, hon”

His head tilted to the side, before he leaned down and nudged the tip of your nose with his. “Jus’ say the word”

That sent burning chills down your spine, and your cheeks couldn’t do anything but to comply and turn an erotic shade of pink.

“I’m not sure what to say” you mumbled, fighting against the urge to jump on him.

“I’m yer best friend, love-” he made a small pause, for dramatic effect, and just stared down at you while your blood boiled, “Lemme show yeh how good yeh can feel”

“I-”

He cut you off, obviously proud of himself, “I obviously wouldn’t have asked twice if I hadn’t felt you squeeze your thighs around me”

“Fuck, Harry-” you said, embarrassment rushing all over you as you threw your hands in the air.

He leaned down, and brushed his lips along your jaw, “Yeh could be screaming tha’ name”

Regaining your composure, you grabbed his chin and forced him to make eye contact once again, “What does this mean to you?”

“It doesn’t have t’ mean anything we don’t want it to” he nodded, “Just friends looking out of one another”

“Mhm..” you choked, “Yep”

“Tell me, and I’ll get off of you”

Your answer came a short second later. “Yeah, get off” you said sternly.

His features barely got a chance to show the disappointment that enveloped him, because as soon as the words left your mouth, you pushed yourself up. Excitement started showing on his face as you pushed yourself up. With a devilish smile on your lips, you grabbed the hem of his shirt; not giving him a chance to secure his balance on his knees before you pulled the material up his body. He clumsily shuffled out of it, his tattoos coming into full view.

“Is that a new one” you asked, pointing to his left shoulder.

To your surprise he took you seriously, and looked down, obviously confused, “Which one, love?”

“This one” you grinned, pushing yourself up and against his chest, this way, giving yourself a chance to press your lips to the base of his neck.

Harry’s whole body shivered under you as he let out a small chuckle. Instantly, his hands found your waist. Once your lips grazed his sensitive skin, the muscles of his neck relaxed as if under a spell and his head fell back. Harry’s fingers dug into your sides as your teeth sunk his flesh, sucking profusely. Having waited for this so many years, it felt all too real and completely unreal at the same time. There was a fire burning inside of you and the soft moans slipping past his lips were no help with taming it.

“Having fun?” Harry laughed, but his confidence and usual air of self control were shaking.

As a response, you bit into his ear lobe and delighted yourself with the whimpers of pleasure he didn’t even try to hide.

Although burning for it, you didn’t have it in you to go for his lips, so when he was the one to do it, all your radars went crazy. The way he grabbed your chin and pulled you closer, it was all you wished for. Years worth of pent up emotions dripped from your lips and onto his.

How ungrateful and inappropriate would it have been for you to beg for more and guide the situation in a different direction? Even if his gentleness made your knees weak, the heat between your legs begged for a less kissing and a lot more biting.

It was when he pressed you down against him that made you forget about everything that held you back. His erection was rubbing against your thigh as you grinded down on him, and you couldn’t help but break the kiss and sink your teeth into his lower lip.

Harry threw his head back against your touch, and a proud smile lifted up the corners of your mouth.

“Come on” you moaned, kissing your way down to his ear, “Show me how you should treat a girl”

His fingers snuck into your hair and pulled your head back, forcing your eyes to meet his’, “Is it me? Or are yeh a bit more excited for this than you initially let on?”

Your eyes sparkled as you let out the fib, “It’s just you”

Grinning, he shook his head in mock approval, and secured you in his hold, before effortlessly spinning the two of you around. Now, a mess of limbs, you looked up at Harry with what could only be described as pure lust. And it all reflected on his features. His ridiculously messy curls framed his face perfectly, allowing his proud gaze to fuel your engines.

With all your might you wanted to let him take the lead and not show too much enthusiasm, but it felt next to impossible. Before you knew it, your hands were cupping his cheeks again, forcing his body flush against your own. He kissed you back with no hesitation, as if he too waited years for this to finally happen, as if this was his dumb way of confessing to you that he too, was head over heels for you. But that was a scenario that regardless of its likelihood, was sure to ruin your mood.

So you pushed it aside, forced your mind to fall on standby, and instead, you concentrated on the way his hands explored every single inch of your body. When he broke the kiss, you wanted to protest, your tongue crying from the sudden loss of contact. But his lips traveled lower, kissing all the way over down your neck, along your collarbones, and across your chest. It was all aggravated and hungry, as if he couldn’t get enough.

“Yeh good?” Harry asked, looking up at you, cheeks all flushed.

“Yep, yeah” you whispered, the weight of the moment turning your voice into a light chuckle. Breathless and innocent, you were on cloud nine, and all your struggles to keep that hidden were in vain.

Delicately, as only he could, Harry pushed your shirt over your head, leaving you exposed, a fact which sent a whole new wave of pleasure down your body. This gesture alone shook your whole world, but he wasn't wasting any time. You barely even got a chance to catch your breath before he lowered himself, and cupped your breasts into his palms. Your back arched in an instant, and when his warm lips connected to your skin, goosebumps propagated all over your whole body. As circled his lips and caught your nipple between his teeth, your mind went crazy, muscles sizzling with anticipation. A suggestive moan slipped from your throat, and you could tell it surely tickled his ego.

“Gettin’ there?” he questioned even if he already knew the answer.

You threw him half a shrug, tilting your head to the side and pressing your cheek to your shoulder.

“So fuckin’ cute, angel” Harry chuckled, shaking his head as he crawled up your body, “Why’re yeh so cute?”

“How would I know?” you blushed, playing along with his overly teasing approach, “You’re the one who sad it”

“Don’t know why I think yeh’re cute?”

You nodded no.

A small but sure fire lit up his features, and he knew it was on. He did maintain the eye contact for a while, but when he finally looked down at your body, nonchalantly staring at your chest, that was when your breath got caught in your throat. The pressure was building up, yet Harry kept pushing your buttons.

In desperate need to pick up the pace, you nudged his chin with the back of your fingers, and when his eyes caught yours; you raised one eyebrow, motioning for him to continue. “Wha’ do yeh want me t’ tell yeh, love?” Harry grinned, leaning down to kiss your neck.

“Tell me what you like about me” you laughed, linking your fingers in his hair. While you laughed due to the amount of different emotions that coursed through you, Harry made it all the more difficult for you to keep it together. His kisses were light enough for you to feel the ounces of love that dripped from his lips, but carnal enough to keep you on your toes.

“I love everything about yeh” he murmured against your skin, his chain of passionate kisses crossing over to the other side of your neck, “I mean, wha’s there not t’ like?”

“Word” you giggled, your sarcasm coming in perfect contrast to the weakness his question brought to your knees.

“Fuckin’ love every inch” Harry said, having completely ignored your joke, “Every single part of yeh, yer body and god, yer mind”

His hands cupped the sides of your rib cage, as his lips traveled down your sternum. He seemed lost, completely absorbed. Every time he looked up at you, it was impossible not to notice how out of this world his eyes seemed. Glossy and dark, extravagant green looking to explore more of you. And those were only the times you managed to catch him staring. The pleasure this man provided surpassed the moaning level, he got you working hard not to scream in ecstasy, as his tongue ran laps around your nipples, and the way his lips sucked with that specific amount of pressure. It looked as if he already knew where all your buttons were, he acted as if he knew your body better than you did. And for you, that was a new experience, which would’ve already been too much, even without Harry involved. But seeing your fingers get lost in his absolutely perfect in a messy kind of way locks, as he treated your skin with such refined skill, you found yourself way too close to the edge.

In the high of the moment, probably following an unidentifiable stimulus, you found yourself concentrated on the way his palms felt against your skin. He held you in his arms as if you were the most precious thing he ever laid eyes on. And for some reason, that feeling alone had you skyrocketing.

It was when you moaned out loud, for the first time not holding back, that he finally decided to give you what he promised.

“Yeh sure this is ok, angel, yeah?” he murmured, looking up at you.

His light stubble tickled the lower side of your abdomen as his breath barely managed to reach your skin.

“Yeah” you clumsily nodded, your words coated in fervid enthusiasm.

Something happened. Something clicked inside of him. You saw it in the way his eyes warmed up. For a second he didn’t move, instead he just took in everything that was happening. When he eventually pushed himself up, you expected him to help you or motion for you to undress, but he didn’t. Harry lowered himself on top of you, pressing his chest against your own.

His fingers locked themselves against your chin, “I really wanna fucking do this right for yeh”

His confession took you aback. The seriousness in this tone was not something you anticipated. At first, he was the one who made it all seem like a meaningless game, yet right now, it seemed as though he fell into his own trap.

All you could do was nod. Nod in approval, nod as a sign for him to keep going. As a promise that it was all ok. This attitude of his was not something you signed up for. Even if it looked like the beginning of what you always wanted, it also felt a little bit too sudden.

“Come here” you cooed, cupping his cheeks in a loving manner.

In an instant, he leaned into your touch, his skin burning against your damp palms. For the x-th time that evening, his lips melted onto yours, but something felt different. But you kept going, allowed the moment to carry you further without giving yourself the burden of dictating a direction.

And seconds passed, and with each one, his touch became more and more aggravated. You could feel his need, and you have loved to think that what you were feeling from him was love, but it was just too big of a step to take right now. Not too shortly after, the situation escalated towards the point you left off earlier. You let him take the lead, and he soon returned to his usual self.

Harry made his way down your body through a chain of lingering kisses, each one of them awakening yet another side of you. This time, you were given no time to prepare. His experienced hands grabbed your thighs, groping their way up to your hips. Although it was fairly fast, it felt like an eternity. You breathing picked up when his fingers hooked themselves into the waistband of your leggings, and without even thinking about it, you pushed yourself up, allowing him to take them off.

Now, you hadn’t seen this coming, because if you had, you probably would have chosen to wear something less embarrassing than your Superman underwear. Your cheek heated up as if it was the first time a man had seen you naked, and all your insecurities washed over you. None of those thoughts crossed Harry’s mind though.

He just smiled - a gesture whose roots you’d never know.

Harry positioned himself between your legs, his fingers gingerly tracing up and down your outer thighs. “Really fucken gorgeous, yeh know tha’?”

His compliments have never been this hard to receive, “Shut up” you chuckled, rolling your eyes as you couldn't help but squirm under his stare.

“Wha’?” Harry grinned, leaning his head to the side as he let his teasing side take over,

“Tha’ tinder fuckface never told yeh just how perfect yeh look?”

“This is still about him, huh?”

“It’s about yeh, love” Harry rolled his eyes, letting his nails graze your skin, “Always been about yeh, always will be”

With each word that let his mouth, he leaned down, lower and lower, until every inch of his body was pressing against your own. He dominated the moment, and you love it.

When he engulfed your lips into a kiss, his right hand traveled between your legs. That alone made your core vibrate, and knowing there was no way to hide your enthusiasm, made you smile.

You felt the back of his fingers trace up and down your opening, and his words confirmed your suspicions. He pulled away from your lips just enough so he could speak, but he was still too close for you to properly see his features - he was just a few literal inches away, “I can’t wait to taste yeh, doll”

The grin on his lips and the pride of his tone, had a visible effect on you. The hairs on your body stood up in anticipation, and you couldn’t help but arch your back and close your legs around him. You kissed him back, and this time, it was on.

As his tongue pushed past your lips, Harry’s hands lewdly traveled down your sides, caressing every inch of exposed skin they found in their way. You didn’t see the eagerness coming, but when he reached between your legs, the flimsy material of your underwear didn’t even begin to come in his way. He shoved his hand under your panties, his fingers instantly coming in contact with your opening.

It was solely the emotional value of the moment that made you nearly gasp. Harry took his sweet damn time, as if you needed any more foreplay. The pads of his fingers gingerly traced up and down your opening a few times, before coming back up again to rest against your clit. It was soft and easy at the beginning, but the feather light touch of his fingers started gaining more and more pressure as subtle circular movements started to form.

When you looked up at him, you were met with the mess of curls that had fallen onto his forehead as he had his head hanging low, with his eyes trained between your bodies. With a gentle nudge against his chin, you prompted him to look up. At first he seemed a bit disoriented, but a wicked grin shortly appeared on his lips. It made you smile.

He was the one to resume the kiss, making it gentle this time - in perfect contrast with the action of his fingers, as he slowly made his way past your folds. When the first finger went in, you curled the corners of your mouth in anticipation. It felt fine, but it was just the tip of the iceberg and you knew it. Eager for more, you allowed your teeth to lewdly sink into his lower lip, willing to show him you wanted more.

With a grunt, Harry shuffled a bit, his knees bucking into your hips. The deep breath he released tickled your skin, but you weren’t going to let this go. As you forced your teeth just a bit deeper into his plush skin, Harry let his forehead fall against yours.

His tongue neatly traced along your upper lip, and you thought it was in response to your actions. And this erroneous thought kept you from anticipating his next move. When Harry pushed one more finger in, your senses went mad, and the simple fact that he didn't give you too much time to adjust before he pushed a third finger in, rocked you completely.

You moaned in return and arched your back.

"I got yeh, baby girl" he whispered softly, "Look at me, I got yeh, ok?"

After receiving an enthusiastic nod from you, Harry made his way down your body. This time, he swiftly shuffled to the side, pulling your legs together and riding you of the unnecessary piece of underwear you still had on.

Not waiting for him to take control, you spread your legs, and feasted on the carnal look he had in his eyes as he looked down at your body. He didn’t waste any time before finding the perfect spot between your legs. Your whole body shivered as he leaned his head to the side, his light stubble tickling its way down the inside of your thighs.

And following the rough feeling of the still shy beard you didn’t think he was able to grow, when his soft lips brushed against your skin, you involuntarily clenched. You bucked your hips and your legs tried, but to no avail, to close the distance between one another. You wanted more - needed more. And he noticed it.

Looking down along your body, you could only see the top of his head. And his fingers, pressing into the skin of your legs. And the tip of his nose as he proceeded to tease you into oblivion with millions of kisses, each of them nothing less than heavenly, but still, nothing compared to what you knew was coming next. The only warning he gave you as a hurried grin, and it was nowhere near enough.

It was on. Elegantly, but with traces of dominance in his touch, and with two fingers, Harry spread your pussy wide open, his tongue lewdly slipping right inside you. The contact and the buildup made you gasp. Had you not been so over the moon and distracted already, you’d have heard him snicker in response to the sound you just made. But you were too caught up. You felt him on every inch of your body, and the signals your core were sending you, were not what you wanted.

You wanted this to last. To have him go at it, lapping at your core for hours. To feel his tongue wag until your senses went numb.It might have been the dry spell that was forced upon you as the pandemic overtook your life, or the timeless, painful crush you’ve had on him for years, but you were already on the edge.

Trying hard to make the moment last, you curled your pointer finger and shoved it into your mouth, biting down hard. Your back arched dangerously as your head flew back, but it all just worked in his favour. Your pleasure was building up, and the careful, experienced movement of Harry’s tongue against your clit was only gaining momentum.

“Yeh taste like fucking heaven but I think yeh already knew tha’” he said, for a second pulling away from your core and giving you a chance to catch your breath.

All you managed was a pathetic excuse of a nod, along with a shy roll of your eyes.

“None of tha’” Harry laughed, licking his lips, “Don’t care how close yeh are, ‘m not gonna stop until yeh moan my name, love”

“Jesus christ, Harry!” you panted, shaking your head.

He responded in a similar manner, and again, with no warning whatsoever, he went back in. This short break allowed you to regain your composure, even if it was just a tiny bit. Your excitement, although still there and just as consuming, was easier to control now. You felt his touch all throughout your body, his tongue tickling all your senses.

What brought you closer into the moment was the feeling of his hands, as he grabbed your thighs and pushed your legs up onto his shoulders. For whatever reason, this felt even more intimate, and as his fingers sank into your flesh, you felt your engines start up again.

The delicate flicks of his tongue were getting more and more aggravated by the second, and now it was close to impossible to keep calm. Sweaty palms gripping tirelessly into the cushions under you, your back under constant strain, your eyes squeezed shut - he had you entirely.

And as if that wasn’t enough, he went further. Harry pushed one finger inside of you, moving his lips up to fully concentrate on your clit. His tongue prepared you, got you all ready and wanting, and then, he wrapped his lips around your bundle of nerves and sucked - gently and with a minimal amount of pressure, but god-

“Fuck, Harry-” you called out. It was more of a cry, choked back in the depths of your throat, all breathy and muffled.

“Come on, angel” Harry whispered.

As you looked down, past your heaving chest, your eyes landed conveniently on the top of his head. Complete chaos - his unruly curls tickled the inside of your thighs, as his fingers dug into your flesh. The two rings he never takes off were sure to leave proud indents on your skin.

Harry sucked at your bundle of nerves, the eager touch of his tongue awakening absolutely every need inside your being. Add the experienced pumps of his fingers and the fact that this was Harry Styles and none other, and you were done.

With each passing second you started to lose more and more of the control you had on your body. Sweating nervously out of every pore of your body, you squirmed under his weight hoping you’d make the moment last.

“‘S good, love, isn’t it?” Harry smirked for just about a second, “I can see yeh, yeh’re a mess fo’ me”

“Fuck” you whined, covering your face with your right palm as your head tilted backwards, “Shut up”

“Oh!” Harry faked surprise, “Gettin’ cocky?”

As he spoke, Harry curled his fingers inside your pussy; maybe intentionally - maybe by chance, hitting all the right spots and making you moan out loud.

“I’ll take tha’ as an apology”

You scoffed.

Harry shook his head. When you looked down at him again, you caught him licking his lips. It was obvious he waited for you to catch him doing that.

Already at the edge of your self control, you curled your fingers into his hair, motioning for him to resume his work. He followed your lead without any complaints, and when his bottom teeth grazed your clit, even if it was light as a feather you lost it.

Your mind became numb, drunk on the pleasure he provided. Your eyes rolled back as you enjoyed every second of your high. Harry kept you spiraling, continuing to lap at your core as the muscles of your legs tensed uncontrollably around his frame.

“Holy fuck-” you breathed out, voice shaky and wounded.

He made sure to milk every ounce of pleasure out of your being, leaving you a heaving mess under his stare.

Harry pushed himself up, nonchalantly wiping his chin, his eyes not allowing yours to look away.

As you gathered yourself and worked on bringing your breathing back to normal, there was only one thought going on inside your head - that it would only be fair if you reciprocate the gesture. Thinking about it was enough to make your core buzz again, but you didn’t have it in you to bring it up, and instead hoped he’d show he wished things didn’t stop either.

But he didn’t.

However, you got to kiss him again. And no matter how badly you wanted to keep the atmosphere on fire, he had other plans.

“Did I take good care of yeh?” Harry asked as he leaned down beside you. His hand found your cheek, keeping you in place for another longing kiss, “Did I do yeh right?”

You nodded against his lips, not willing to actually word the answer.

His chuckle made it clear that the point got through. And for a second it seemed as if the night wasn’t done. None of you was willing to pull away, and allowed the minutes to go by without a care in the world, lost in each other’s arms.

“Freakin’ love yeh, angel” Harry said.

It wasn’t the first time you’d hear this coming out of his mouth, but you couldn’t help but smile thinking this time it was meant in a different manner. You answered him by cuddling deeper into his chest, and that was a moment you wouldn’t have traded for the world.

And you fell asleep like that. No matter how big and luxurious your couch was, you still spent the night glued to one another. Harry felt every calm breath of yours on his skin and everytime he moved a bit to adjust his position, his hold tightened around you to make sure he wasn’t pushing you away.

After what was probably the best sleep you’d gotten in the whole year of 2020, morning came around. Actually it was lunch time, if we’re being generous. The sun was high up, proudly making its way into your living room, past the curtains to forgot to draw the other night.

When you awoke, Harry wasn’t there anymore. However, panic didn’t have the time to settle in as you heard movement coming from the kitchen, and the strong smell of coffee reached your nose in no time.

You got up from the couch, with herds of butterflies in your stomach. Harry’s words from last night still echoed in your head, and even now, with no alcohol in your system, they managed to bring goosebumps all over your skin.

“When did you get up?”

That was how you made your presence known.

Harry turned around with a smile on his face. He had a bag of avocados tucked under his arm, as he typed away on his phone. His undone pants were hanging onto his thighs for dear life, and the only other piece of fabric on his body was a thin, brown hair tie around his wrist. There were a few purple marks along his collar bones and his hair looked rougher than usual, things which deep down, shook you up a bit.

“Wanted to take yeh out fo’ breakfast, but I gotta leave in like an hour, so I figured this should do”

“Yeah, yeah sure” you agreed, “It’s perfect”

“Would’ve done mo’, but Y/n, yeh have no food in this house”

You laughed, walking over to slump down into one of the chairs, “Didn’t get a chance to get any perishables”

“You got some” Harry chuckled, “You got weeks’ worth of everything you need to make guacamole and pancakes”

“I have no idea how that happened, those will spoil” you shook your head, “You can take some of them actually”

“Or I could just come over”

“Even better”

The food was ready in no time. Harry had everything done and set while you washed up a bit, and after that, you both sat down to eat. Minimal and light, but still, there was a weight in the pit of your stomach.

“About last night-” Harry began to say, but you tried to stop him.

“You don’t have to-”

“We kinda do, love” he smiled, “I need to apologise, angel”

You squinted your eyes, “For?”

“I don’t really have t’ apologise fo’ what I said because I meant every word” Harry slowly said, as if he has a hard time putting his thoughts together, “I jus’ wish I hadn’t said it like tha’ though”

“Like what?” you questioned, a bit lost.

“Like I had the right to say that kind of crap” he laughed. It was nervous laughter, like he was afraid of what was coming next, “I do fucking love yeh, but I shouldn’t have assumed you wanted to hear that”

“What are you talking about, I don’t understand” you groaned, growing a bit tired of the impatience he brought upon you.

“You’re my best friend, ok?” he sighed, “That’s all we are, Y/n, and that was not supposed to happen”

The food got lodged in your throat, and you felt like if you didn’t stand up, you’d no longer be able to breathe. “It was your idea” you scoffed.

Harry’s eyes followed your frame, but he remained seated, “I know”

“So what changed? If anything even changed. I don’t understand what the problem is. You regret we did what we did-”

“I don’t regret anything” Harry butted it.

“You said it was not supposed to happen!” you exclaimed, rolling your eyes as you walked over to the sink, just to make yourself useful and to stop just standing in front of him.

“The things I said to you-” he said sternly, pushing his chair back and throwing his hands into the air, “I shouldn’t have said those, ok? It doesn’t matter who meant what, I told you things that-”

“What did you tell me that’s bothering you so much?” you almost yelled, annoyance dripping out of your pores. You walked over to him, and he closed the distance by standing up.

“I-” Harry stuttered, playing with his hair to buy himself some more time. “All the-”

“What?” you pushed, “That you like everything about me? That’s what you regret saying? And what else?”

“God” he groaned, “I don’t regret saying tha’, it’s just tha’ it wasn’t my place to say it”

You fell silent.

“If I were you... I’d want to hear those things from someone that is more than just a friend to me” he confessed.

“And you can’t be that to me? More than a friend?”

After a few seconds of painful silence, realization hit him, “Y/n…”

He did reach out. He took a step towards you but you stepped back. The remorse in his tone was too painful to ignore. So you moved away from him and slowly made your way out of the kitchen.

“Y/n!” Harry called, following you.

“Just go”

“Please...”

“Please what?” you shook your head, but he didn’t have the words you needed to hear.

“I’m sorry”

“It’s fucking fine” you sighed, walking backwards towards your room, “Just show yourself out”

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heauxzenji · 3 years

Note

I just came across you nsfw with Osamu and I really enjoyed it I was wondering if You could do one for Kita?

Hi love! This is for u 💕 and all the kita fuckers worldwide- myself included bc I’m in love with him now 🥺

NSFW Alphabet - Kita Shinsuke

Nsfw below da cut g

gn!reader focus in this hoe

A/n: ty @honey-makki for being my partner in degeneracy and my wife ilysm bc she can read when I can’t

𝕬 - 𝕬𝖋𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖈𝖆𝖗𝖊

Will feed you a full meal. His way of making sure you’re cared for is keeping you well fed. He will cuddle you and spoon feed you himself if he has to, as long as you eat every single bite. He has a routine for everything, aftercare is no exception. He runs you a bath, then, while you soak, he cooks. Will make sure to throw a hoodie in the dryer before heading to the kitchen so it'll be warm for you post shower. Then he feeds you and holds you, playing with your hair or your hands until you fall asleep.

𝕭 - 𝕭𝖔𝖉𝖞 𝕻𝖆𝖗𝖙

You already know what the fuck is going onnnn! Kita is honestly so well sculpted that it really doesn’t matter but let’s talk about his back/shoulders. He’s so mf broad and it's very sexc of him. He’s also very fond of when you cling onto and scratch it up…. delicious

He loves your hands. He loves to hold them, especially when he’s looking straight into your eyes as he drills the hell out of you- he’ll lift one up and kiss it bc ✨romance✨

𝕮 - 𝕮𝖚𝖒

Oh he’s going to fill you so full of cum that it pours out of your ears. He has a big breeding kink, and huge loads to match. But he’s also very healthy and takes good care of himself so his cum isn’t bad on your tongue on the off chance he hasn’t already cum inside you 600 times prior to finally doing so in your mouth. And he’s going to kiss you after- very sexc of him.

𝕯 - 𝕯𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝕾𝖊𝖈𝖗𝖊𝖙

Lost his virginity in a barn. Got a tick on his ass of all places. The barn isn’t the secret tho... the tick is.

𝕰 - 𝕰𝖝𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖓𝖈𝖊

When you got together- he was definitely a virgin. Had only gone as far as MAYBE second base. But you used that to your advantage, because you’ve essentially built him up and trained him to be PERFECT for you. You also helped him find out what he likes and what makes him feel good too. Sure there was a lil’ corruption involved, but in the end you’re both very happy with your sex life.

𝕱 - 𝕱𝖆𝖛𝖔𝖗𝖎𝖙𝖊 𝕻𝖔𝖘𝖎𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

Full on mf wrestling mating press. He’s going to have his cock so deep inside of you that if he even pushed a bit more his body is gonna go in too. Then he’ll just live there. He’s fine with that.

𝕲 - 𝕲𝖔𝖔𝖋𝖞

Unintentionally so. Every once in a while, you’ll both giggle or laugh because you have to reposition when you start to cramp up or you accidentally hit him in the face when tying to pull him closer or something. But he’s a firm believer in the whole “if you can’t laugh with the person you’re having sex with you shouldn’t have sex with them” addage, so he’s very grateful for those light moments.

𝕳 - 𝕳𝖆𝖎𝖗

It could definitely be neater. He isn’t abysmal, but he is hairy and could stand to trim a tiiiny bit more often. He’s just very low maintenance down there. As long as it’s clean he's good, which is both true and a decent place to start but pls tell him to get a little off the top of you know what I mean.

𝕴 - 𝕴𝖓𝖙𝖎𝖒𝖆𝖈y

He’s! So! Loving! He’s always going to go the extra mile to make you feel special. He likes to keep things on the softer side I’d say 8/10 times. He prefers to make love instead of just fucking it out- but if you get into an argument or he’s frustrated, he will happily go hard… but still with candles and a massage. Also I said it already but he’s gonna hold your hands while he demolishes you- interlaced fingers and all that cute shit even tho you’re getting railed.

𝕵 - 𝕵𝖆𝖈𝖐 𝕺𝖋𝖋

His grandma is one of those old ladies that’s like “don’t do that you’ll go blind,” so poor baby was a lil pent up before he got older. Now, he still doesn't do it often, but he does it once a month or so as part of his routine. He uses coconut oil because he likes the smell and that it melts easily.

𝕶 - 𝕶𝖎𝖓𝖐

Breeding, listen it’s just embedded in country boys to fuck and fill. He is no exception.

Spanking, moreso as a way to direct you. Moving too much? slap to stay still. Changing positions? Slap to get you moving. Just wants to see you jiggle? Yeah that too. Motivational slaps also come into play when he wants you to know you’re doing a good job.

Auralism, He LOVES to hear you. The sound of your breath, your moans, the way you chant his name when you’re close… he eats that shit up. It feeds his ego and boosts his pride. He also makes a lot of noise himself, mostly really deep moans but there’s a sprinkling of praise throughout too.

𝕷 - 𝕷𝖔𝖈𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

He needs privacy. So he’s definitely one to want to keep it at home or at least somewhere secluded and away, where he knows only you and him are there and will know about it.

𝕸 - 𝕸𝖔𝖙𝖎𝖛𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

He doesn’t care how he does it, but his number one priority, is making sure that you cum. Kita is a giver. And he will make sure to give you whatever you want from him.

𝕹 - 𝕹𝖔!

He’s not into SUPER rough stuff. He’s not vanilla, but he is the kind of guy that sees sex as “lovemaking” so he’s not gonna punch you in the face or throw you around like a ragdoll. It’s just not his style. Of course if it's what you want, he will… but never expect him to ever bring it up or do so on his own.

𝕺 - 𝕺𝖗𝖆𝖑

Ok so- he's… teachable. I’m not gonna lie, he would start off as absolute trash. But the good thing about him is how adaptable he is, and how willing he is to learn. You’d have to have him work at it a lot but once he gets good he’s great. He’ll love the feeling of accomplishment he gets from you getting off with only his mouth- it does wonders for his pride.

𝕻 - 𝕻𝖆𝖈𝖊

It’s very even- until he starts to get close. When he’s close he’s going to speed up so much that you have to brace yourself against anything that’ll hold you. He is definitely a headboard grabber too.

𝕼 - 𝕼𝖚𝖎𝖈𝖐𝖎𝖊

He likes to take his time with you. For that reason, he isn’t a huge fan. You would really have to convince him that it's worth it. He doesn’t see the point in instant gratification, and thinks you should be patient. Good things come to those who wait and all that Kita stop being so stoic and rail me at the farmers market challenge

𝕽 - 𝕽𝖎𝖘𝖐

Lmfao you think this mans is really gonna go for a public or semi-public scene? Think again. Now, he’s into sex outdoors sure, but only in your fenced in, enclosed backyard. He’s not letting anyone see you point blank periodt, you’re for his eyes only.

𝕾 - 𝕾𝖙𝖆𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖆

Excellent self control. He can hold off on cumming for as long as you need him to. Usually he’ll tap out himself after you’ve gotten through at least 3 of your own highs- but his record is 6. Has a super long refractory period tho- so he does things this way to make sure you get everything you need in one go.

𝕿 - 𝕿𝖔𝖞

He actually likes using toys on you. He has a bunch of different plugs and vibes that he uses to suit the situation. He prefers to use a hitachi wand on you while he’s fucking you, but all the others he uses for foreplay- or after to keep you full to the brim of his cum.

𝖀 - 𝖀𝖓𝖋𝖆𝖎𝖗

You both tease each other absentmindedly. He doesn’t know why he gets so turned on by you scrubbing the floor on all fours (that’s why), but he does. He also doesn’t understand why you think its hot when he cuts firewood in winter or wipes his forehead with his shirt during the summer. He thinks he’s gross and sweaty- but you can only think of a million other ways to make him sweatier.

𝖁 - 𝖁𝖔𝖑𝖚𝖒𝖊

Listen we stan. He’s not quiet in bed by any means, but he’s not overly loud either. He’s the type who takes deep breaths and then on the exhale let’s out a moan from deep in his chest- you know the one. And he does that shit on purpose. Not really, but he does think of it as his way of letting you know that he feels as good as you feel. Will also 100% hit you with the “is that it baby? Is that the spot?” While you’re practically turning into jello underneath him bc he absolutely knows that’s the spot he just likes to make you say it.

𝖂 - 𝖂𝖎𝖑𝖉𝖈𝖆𝖗𝖉

Wants to recreate the sex scene from tthe notebook with you. He can’t explain why, he just has an unexplainable urge to suck your face off in the rain and then proceed to raw you after peeling all the damp clothes from your body. Please oblige him.

𝖃 - 𝖃-𝕽𝖆𝖞

He’s got the thickness. Not coke Can thickness but like… you remember the Alaskan bull worm from ep of SpongeBob? Well he’s the whole worm, not just the tongue. I’m going to hell for that reference but ya he has a nice dick. The perfect thickness and and I’ll say a pretty good 5.5-6 inches worth. It’s also very veiny on the underside which- yes I love that.

𝖄 - 𝖄𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌

Normal sex drive, since you tend to do it at least 2 times a week. He only seems to get a little needier when you CAN’T have sex regularly- ie, one of you is sick or you’re away from each other. When that happens, he’s a little edgier than usual, can snap sometimes but not often.

𝖅 - 𝖅𝖟𝖟

He’s the type to get a second wind after. He’ll only go to sleep after he makes sure all your aftercare needs are met, and even then, he’s only going to power-nap it for maybe 10mins. He’ll stay still and cuddle you while you sleep, but he’ll most likely watch tv or scroll through his phone while you enjoy his warmth. Every once in awhile he’ll give you a kiss while you stir.

Taglist Starseeds (check ur privacy settings if your url is in bold): @honey-makki @crushzone @yumekosgamblingroom @boujiesav @onesingleravioli @ushijimasfarmhat @trouvelle @nekoma-hoe @right-shoe-jpg @atsumusc0ck @nivky0-0 @animoozies @charmarsmith @tsumue @disasteren @hoe4abbacchio @sillykittt @ukaisbaby

#daisy’s red light district 🚨#haikyuu smut #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu x reader #kita haikyuu #kita x reader #hq x reader #hq smut #hq headcanons #haikyuu hc #haikyuu hcs #hq headcanon #hq writing #hq scenario #haikyuu x y/n #hq x gn!reader

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anika-ann · 3 years

Text

Conundrum (A.B.)

Type: One-shot, challenge fic

Pairing: Andy Barber x fem!reader Word Count: 7700 (:

Summary: conundrum - a confusing and difficult problem or question

Andy Barber is a difficult man whom you have yet to understand. He certainly doesn’t make it any easier; and right before Christmas, he manages to surprise you again.

Prompt: You have to look for a gift impromptu

Warnings: a smidge of angst, a drop of awkward humour, mention of death (mild AU - both Laurie and Jacob!), alcohol consumption, feels, explicit language, reader gets called a dumbass... that’s it I hope, lemme know

A/N: This is my submission for the Happy Hoelidays challenge. There’s no hoeing tho, shame on me. Also, if you want some music to go with this, know that I listened to ‘God I Hope This Year Is Better Than the Last’ by SYML an obscene amount of times.

Andy Barber was an enigma.

Reporters liked to think he wasn’t; almost a year ago, they tore down all the walls he had built up to protect the privacy of his family and they shed light into startingly intimate details of his life – and where they couldn’t shed light, they used their imagination and sold it with a claim of having a reliable source. Naturally, it worked; there were always people willing to believe it just so they obtained more of juicy gossip material.

There were wanabe psychologists who would address his trauma and tried to analyse his personality, the consequences he would suffer in the aftermath of the tragedy, who attempted to strip down his soul just to get a few more reads and generally talked about him as if they were best friends, as if they knew him.

It was all a load of bullshit.

The truth, you thought, was that no one knew him. If you were being honest, you weren’t sure if even his wife ever had, truly – but that was you under the influence of the little information you bothered to gather from the influx of crap that the media provided the public with.

What you believed was that the reporters and all the self-proclaimed experts on him knew nada.

Andrew Barber was and always would remain an enigma; to the public, to the little what remained of his family after the death of his wife and son, to his co-workers – the category which included you. If you could even call yourself a co-worker; you were simply a secretary. Granted, one whose previous employer let her peek over their shoulder quite a bit so you learned a thing or two about law, but Andy Barber was the lawyer. The former DA from Boston, who moved over to rule the DA office of Portland, your home.

Even after having been working with him for nine full months, Andy’s thoughts and feelings didn’t get any easier for you to read or predict. When he wanted to let you know he was disappointed, he did. When he was truly angry with someone, well, he wouldn’t let it go unnoticed either.

Other than that, however, you would have had better luck trying to decode the actual enigma-encrypted messages sent during World War II.

Small talk didn’t last longer than three sentences from you each. Work-related affaires were discussed in his office with politeness and with calm, rather dispassionate mannerism. If you caught a hint of a smile when an important case that helped people went his way (or the office’s way really), you considered it a miracle that sent your heart reeling.

He would sometimes smile only for you if you brought him a coffee without him asking first, simply because he looked like he needed one; at those times, he would thank you softly and let slip in your first name instead of referring to you with your last. Those were your favourite moments.

Well, almost.

You found him with a tumbler and an expensive whiskey on occasion when you were leaving the office late; you never commented on it, but there were four times he actually silently invited you to have a glass with him. You refused the first time and accepted the other three.

Those nights, you got a glimpse of the mystery of a man hidden behind surprisingly soft mannerism, one which was in such a sharp contrast to his shark-like demeanour he displayed in front of the judge and the jury. His scars ran deep, his hopes had been shattered, his life in the past year as bitter as the overpriced liquor. Your heart cracked for him to the point of nearly breaking altogether.

And yet, it was beating for him too; behind all that hurt, you couldn’t but notice certain gentleness. Yes, he could be scary, downright terrifying and when his temper got the best of him, the true rage on display, he was a force to be reckoned with. But oh, that gentleness. The kind shattered soul he hid so well every morning, more so on the days right after your little heart-to-hearts. Trying to build a working relationship with him – a friendship of a sort, anything you wanted to call it – was a game of push and pull and more of a string of guesses than an effort that would bore fruit.

You might have already given up on that and instead, with the ferocity you hadn’t known you possessed, you kept punching the crush you had on him; that silly thing that would always call louder and louder after he revealed a piece of him on one of the precious nights, only to shut you out completely the next morning.

Andy Barber had never even remotely showed a romantic interest in you and by God, did you not blame him for not being interested in anyone at all as far you knew. While you considered yourself a fairly capable worker and half-decent person, you were aware you could never measure up to him. Just another reason to push down the feelings you had for him, ones that seemed to bloom with more intensity whenever he raised the corners of his damn lips, when he asked a question about you during those stupid nights as if he cared— nonsense. You had to get rid of those. He didn’t even like you, barely acknowledged you in the end. Or did he? You honestly didn’t know.

Bottom line was that if you couldn’t get close enough, then the reporters knew jack shit, no matter how much reading on him they had done or how many books on psychology, criminology and law and shit they went through. Many people knew Andrew Barber’s name, but no one could hope to know him.

And yet, those assholes still called and asked about him.

It was the fourth one that day; December 23rd, over a year from the accusation of Jacob Barber, and those fucking vultures still called Andy Barber’s office. They weren’t even good newspapers and news sites anymore; obviously, because every rational decent person would have let the poor man rest. But nope. Not them.

“Portland’s DA office, secretary of Mr. Barber speaking. How may I help you?”

“Oh, wonderful! Is there any chance I could talk to Mr. Barber personally?” the chipper of a man asked on the other end of the line and just by not giving his name, he raised suspicion; was it forgetfulness caused by his distress or intention?

Fortunately for him and unfortunately for you, you had to be polite. Hot-shot lawyers and other important people rarely returned the courtesy, but that was the world you lived in.

“There might be, Mr-?”

“Oh, Connor. Peter Connor.”

“Well, Mr. Connor, what is your legal issue?” you asked patiently, writing down his name automatically.

“Well, you see, I would rather talk with Mr. Barber about—my delicate situation, in private.”

Your eyes narrowed as you stopped scribbling and spared a brief glance towards the door to Andy’s office. It was opened ajar in what could be an invitation, but all blinds on both the door and the windows were down in typical fashion.

Talk in private?

Yeah, not gonna happen. You knew a few tricks that these assholes calling the office tended to pull and whoever this man was, you were growing more suspicious by the minute that he was not seeking legal advice.

You went back to your notes and wrote down the word liar right next to his name and a question mark. Was he a liar? One way to find out you guessed; you caught your phone between your ear and your shoulder, opening a new tab in your browser to google the name along with a wild guess of him being a reporter.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Connor, I’m afraid I will need more information before I put you through. And I will probably need to make you an appointment, my boss is a very busy man-“

“Oh, is he? Lots of cases in Andrew Barber’s new district, huh?”

The blood in your veins was set aflame even before the search was done, because in an instant, you knew for sure.

And then you had it confirmed by the results.

This jerk had even given you his real name, utterly shameless. Sure, he could have only had the same name as the journalist you found, but what were the chances? Two days after you told his colleague – who had made it through your vetting, got an appointment and even got past the reception desk before you spotted him for what he was – to get lost and not try again?

Your pulse skyrocketed along with your blood pressure. Technically, you didn’t owe Andrew Barber anything, but he was respectful enough, didn’t make much trouble and for most time, was an okay boss to you.

You owed him this much: he was a decent guy. Why couldn’t other people show a shed of basic human decency too and leave him the fuck alone?

“That depends, Mr. Connor,” you purred, barely holding the outrage locked inside. You felt both energized by your anger and achingly tired and done with humanity. You rested your elbows on the desk and leaned onto it with a sigh, massaging the bridge of your nose, eyes closed. “Is he going to have to sue your rag of a newspaper or will you and your colleagues finally get the memo and leave. His. Personal. Life. Alone?!”

You most definitely strained the last words through your teeth, but you didn’t care anymore if you were being rude. He was the fourth reporter today ready to ask about Andy’s personal matters. The FOURTH!! He was lucky you didn’t tell him to go fuck himself… explicitly.

“Are you threatening me?” the man demanded, his voice insulted, losing all traced of pretence.

As if you ever. You knew better than that, working with lawyers.

“Nice try, Mr. Connor. I will thank you to never call this office again unless you have legal issues or a relevant question which you should direct to our PR department anyway. And if you could extend this to all editorial staff, please, preferably to all editorial staff in the United States, that would be splendid. Have a good day. Happy Holidays.”

You slammed the phone down, missing the slot for it, not caring. You were sure he would hang up on his own.

“Asshole,” you muttered under your breath and hid your face in your palms, grunting, fingertips sinking into your hair.

“I hope you don’t mean me,” sounded from the doorway and you yelped, honest to god yelped and straightened in your seat, head snapping up-

-only to meet your boss’ curious gaze. Hurt and anger casted shadows over his beautiful cerulean irises, but there was no mistaking the melancholy and resignation on his face either.

“Of course not!” you blurted out quickly, panic rising in your chest.

How much had he heard? Was he going to fire you for being unprofessional? Did he figure out what was this about— of course he did, there was little room left for doubt. Your choice of words was pretty straightforward.

Andy bounced off of the doorframe he was leaning onto, not easing his stance – his arms remained crossed over his chest and had you not been so alarmed, you would have indulged in the sight of his biceps nearly cutting through the seams of his shirt.

“Why do I get the impression that whoever you were talking to was not the first person to call the office to feed on ‘the misery man’ that Andrew Barber is?” he more stated than asked, his tone unmistakably bitter.

You gulped as he approached your desk, nails digging into your palms. You had no idea what to say. Once again, you couldn’t quite read Andy; you had no idea where this was heading and how you should answer without setting him off, making him sadder or even more bitter. And without getting fired, obviously.

“I—uhm, well, I suppose you heard me, so you know he wasn’t the first—Mr. Barber. I apologize-“ His eyebrows rose a fraction and you didn’t dare to analyse why. “-if I was too loud. But--- humanity sucks.”

The moment the last two words left your mouth, you instantly regretted them, snapping your eyelids close and squeezing. You were sure you were about to have bloody crescents in your palms from your nails at this point.

Did you really just say that? To your boss, no less?

Way to go, me.

“Not wrong there. Why don’t you take your lunch break now?” he offered casually.

You nodded as you felt the tell-tale burn of tears forming in your eyes; fuck, this was humiliating. Why had he had to walk in exactly in that moment? And now using that tone?

He didn’t say anything else and you didn’t dare to look at him. Only when you heard him walk back to his office and close the door behind him, you opened your eyes and released the breath you were holding, your heart hammering in your chest.

Gulping and swallowing your tears before they could escape, you grabbed your purse and your coat, rushing out to the cold air of Portland winter.

✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧

Andy didn’t bring up the incident again when you came back. You had a short list of assignments for the upcoming days off which you went over with him before parting ways for the holidays. You mentioned you would probably drop in tomorrow despite not necessarily having to, but wished him Happy Holidays in case you’d miss him during your brief visit.

The corners of his lips twitched at that, but he wished you the same. You supposed his holidays weren’t about to be happy – more like the opposite. Last year, he celebrated with his family, even if it might have been already falling apart. This year however…

Your heart cracked another fraction for the man and you wondered if you should leave some cookies for him in the office tomorrow at least. Then you realized he would probably hate it, either being bitter about feeling like a charity case or hating the reminder of what he had lost, what wasn’t waiting for him at home anymore. Not to mention that maybe even the poinsettia, which you had placed on his office window two days ago and neither of you commented on, was already too much.

The only cookies you baked that night were the ones you knew should stay in a box with apples for over a day, the cookies you were supposed to bring to your sister’s house for Christmas, because your nephew Harry loved them.

With cheesy Christmas songs in the background and a bottle of wine for the party of one, you kneaded the double batch of dough and couldn’t but spare your achingly handsome and likely lonely boss a thought and maybe… maybe a tear or two.

✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧

The office was empty when you arrived on 24th at around half past four; everyone left as soon as possible, which was to be expected. Admittedly, despite not knowing what you would talk about with Andy, you found your heart sinking when you didn’t see light peeking through the blinds of your and his offices. You had expected him to be working to avoid being at home; but then again, you knew next to nothing about him. Maybe he was with a girlfriend. With a boyfriend. With former colleagues. With his deceased wife’s family. It was only assumption of yours that he might be lonely on Christmas.

You shook your head at your train of thought as you unlocked your office, mentally going over which files you needed to bring home, trying to eliminate the amount as not to endanger confidential information by taking them away from the safety of the bureau.

You froze in your tracks when you found a rather large piece of paper folded into a roof on your desk. A note, you realized, frowning and slowly walking to the suspicious object.

There were very few people who could enter your space, namely three: the janitor, you and Andy. The first option was unlikely, the second impossible, the third confusing. You didn’t understand why he wouldn’t just shoot you a text if he needed anything.

You halted in your steps, the air knocked out of your lungs when you noticed that the note was not the only new item on your desk.

There was a box.

A box roughly size of your extended palm. And if you weren’t mistaken… it looked like a jewellery gift box.

“What the hell?” you asked yourself breathlessly, your curiosity getting the best of you; more so as you recognized what was most definitely Andy’s handwriting on the paper.

Andrew Barber, your boss, with whom you weren’t sure what your relationship was – if there was any at all – might have got you jewellery.

Say that again?

A tiny voice in your head told you he might have just used the box for something else entirely, but that didn’t seem to be his style.

So you picked up the gift carefully, almost reverently removing the lid, your heart pounding in your chest, stomach twisting with pleasant anticipation; with the familiar rush that kids feel when opening a present with high hopes of what could await them inside.

Your lips parted in pure shock, you mind turning blank.

There were no words in English language to express how… how absolutely magnificent the bracelet inside was.

Five thin circles with symbols made of slender lines inside, looking like charms, but withing the body of the bracelet, one clasped to the next one with delicate ellipses. The metal reflected the fluorescent lights of the office, glimmering softly, appearing almost fluid, a thin stream of water trapped in a box.

You actually had to blink and it took all your willpower not to pinch yourself, because—how-

How had he known? Where had he got it? Holy mother of Jesus, how much had he spent on it?

And why get you a gift in the first place? You were… acquaintances at best. Yes, there were almost friendly moments, and then there were those nights, but this was---this- you couldn’t even---- think, apparently.

Keeping an eye on the opened box, you gently placed it back on the desk, afraid to even touch the metal itself. You blindly reached into your purse in search for your phone to dial the only number that made sense for you to dial at that moment.

It sure as hell wasn’t Andy’s.

Nothing but a dialling tone sounded for half a minute, the time seemingly endless. You fell heavily into your chair, still staring at the absolutely gorgeous and thoughtful gift.

How did he know?!

You fought the urge to roll your eyes as your sister still didn’t answer the phone and your hand automatically reached for your necklace to toy with.

And that was when it hit you.

Your necklace; one you got from your sister during the period of your biggest obsession with the Divergence series. Two arrows in a circle pointing different directions, the symbol for a ‘divergent’ person. Your eyes wandered over the five circles of the bracelet – scales, an eye, hands connected, a flame, a tree –, an incredulous chuckle escaping you.

But--- you didn’t think he would notice. You didn’t even wear it all the time, rather often, yes, and yeah, perhaps you did have a bit of a bad habit of fumbling with it when nervous-

“Hey sis! What’s up?” Amber’s voice sounded cheerily from the microphone. You jumped in your seat, startled by her as she interrupted your musing. “Please tell me you’re still coming, because Harry wouldn’t shut up about his favourite chocolate chip.”

You cleared your throat, barely able to comprehend what she was talking about, too caught up in your head.

“I—hi. Uhm- I need help actually,” you finally stuttered and you could practically feel her frown even over the phone.

“Oh? Is everything okay? You sound… a little strange.”

“That’s-“ not wrong. You scanned the office and listened in for the tinniest noise, making sure you were still alone. “I’m at the office and I--eh, I found a gift for me.”

“Awww, a secret admirer? Nice!” Amber chuckled, then abruptly stopped. “…unless it’s a stalker. You don’t think you have a stalker, right? Is that why you called me, so I could tell George? He’s not on duty-“

This time you did roll your eyes at the mention of her husband who happened to be a police officer.

“No, Amber, I have no stalker as far as I know. I’m pretty sure I can recognize my boss’ handwriting at this point.”

Nothing but silence could be heard from the other end for a good minute. You bit your lip in anticipation of… something.

And then: “You’re shitting me.”

“Not really-“

“Holy mother of-!” your sister squealed loudly and you winced, instinctively withdrawing from the phone. “Your boss got you a Christmas present?! --Wait. Is it a Walmart card? Because if it is, then this call is pointless, because that’s boring as-“

“No, Amber, he—he gave me a bracelet,” you admitted softly, your gaze once again wandering over the said object. Beautiful. Fragile. Yours, apparently. What?

When Amber only responded with silence again, words suddenly spilled from your lips, all the mixed feelings you had about receiving the bracelet released, relief singing in your veins as you vented.

“And-and it’s actually really beautiful and--- it’s thoughtful, because it has all the fractions from Divergence on it? But not like something you buy for ten dollars, only paying for the copyright or whatever and the quality is shitty, no, I mean--- it looks pretty, eh, delicate.”

It did, awfully so, which was why you still couldn’t make yourself to touch it even if you really, really liked it and wanted to do nothing but to wear it for the rest of your damn life.

“And expensive. I-- I think it might be real silver and…” you wavered, almost scared to share your last observation out loud for it seemed impossible for it to be true. “Amber, you know I looked through a lot of Divergence-related goods so I would know. It- it doesn’t look familiar at all, it’s--- I think it might be custom-made.”

You choked on the last word, tasting so strange on your tongue as you couldn’t quite believe that you were saying it. You felt--- incredulous to put it simply… and touched and- absolutely bewildered.

Silence stretched in the follow-up to your rambling and you felt your brows drawing together.

“…Amber? You there?”

“Oh yeah, I’m here,” she assured you swiftly, mischief curling around the tone of her voice like a smirk on her lips you couldn’t see. “Just wondering how could you not tell me you started sleeping with him-“

“What?! No!” you protested instantly, straightening in the chair. “I’m not—I’m not his sugar baby or whatever! This is not a ‘thank you for letting me fuck you raw’ gift-“

“Not that you would complain from what I heard and saw-“ she hummed playfully.

She was right. But shush!

“Screw you!”

“George does, that’s why we have Harry in the first place,” she sassed you. “But… sis? What kind of a gift it is then?”

And wasn’t that the question.

“I… I don’t know.”

“Well, you should, because from what you told me, you guys aren’t even friends. Nota bene, this isn’t exactly a gift you give to a friend,” she pointed out, addressing one of the million issues concerning the damn (gorgeous) bracelet.

“I-- I guess?” You were sure, in fact. This was something to give to a… well, to a lover, to a partner. “But- Amber, he doesn’t--- that’s not-“

“What did the note say?”

“Huh?”

“You said you recognized his handwriting,” she reminded you slowly as if speaking to a five-year-old. “What does the note say?”

You glanced at the note again noncommittally, remembering exactly what it said. Pretty much nothing. Definitely nothing to go on.

“Uhm… Thank you. Happy Holidays.”

There was a beat of silence, again. “That’s it?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Eloquent.” You rolled your eyes at her sarcastic tone. She should see him at court. True though, on personal level, he wasn’t exactly chatty. Unless he opened up a bit over a glass of whiskey--- anyway, she had a point, obviously. “What are you gonna do?”

That snapped you from your musing like a shot of life into your bloodstream.

“That’s why I’m calling! I should-- I should get him something too, right?” Right?! Absolutely. “Oh god, I hate last-minute shopping. And I don’t even have a fucking clue what to buy! Well, a good whiskey is always a safe bet I guess, but supporting his drinking habits doesn’t sound like a good idea. Plus, it’s kinda… impersonal with comparison to what he gave me.”

Though if there was one thing you learned about Andy Barber, it was that he could appreciate the high-quality liquor, so perhaps it wouldn’t have been as impersonal as one might think.

“Well, I don’t know him so I can’t really help, but what you got from him should definitely give you a clue.”

“A clue?” you parroted, confused.

“I don’t mean like a clue for what you should buy him. But… look, even if you didn’t suspect that it’s custom-made, which whoa, he has to pay a lot of attention to buy you something like this. Much more attention than you thought.”

“…okay?”

“He likes you, you dumbass! It doesn’t matter what you get him, he’ll be happy you got him anything in the first place!”

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” you deadpanned, unsure which statement you were referring to. That he liked you or that you shouldn’t take care to choose something that would really bring him at least a little joy.

You tried your best to ignore how your heart skipped the beat at the former.

“Whatever. Harry’s throwing a hungry eye on me, I gotta go fix him a snack unless I want him to eat all the candy again. Good luck!”

“Amber!“ you called out in honest despair, panic rising in your chest, only to get no answer.

You pulled the phone from your ear to look at the screen, already knowing what awaited you.

Disconnected.

Fuck.

It seemed you were on your own. Wasn’t that wonderful?

You shot your sister a simple ‘I hate you’ text, the gears in your head already turning frantically in order to figure out what you could get Andy.

Amber replied with a set of laughing emojis within seconds. Bitch, leaving you alone to deal with a situation like this! What a sister she was.

You sighed, admiring the delicate lines of the bracelet again, torn between indulgence and guilt. There was no questioning whether you should buy Andy something too.

Say yay for the last-minute shopping for a man out of your league and whom you had no idea what you should get.

You were utterly at loss, growing anxious not only about the difficult choice of a gift, but also about possible delivery, wondering what should you even tell him and when.

Maybe though…. just maybe, you were getting kinda excited about what you were about to do too.

✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧

Three hours.

You spent almost three hours at the mall where you could barely breathe because of the crazy crowds and yet you were none the wiser; your excitement left you quickly, once again replaced by despair. It took you three hours and passing the lingerie shop four times, a shop with pieces on display that barely covered anything, intended for either bedroom games or a swimming pool, before it finally hit you.

You cursed under your breath, calling yourself an idiot in murmur loud enough to have few people around you look at you in surprise.

“Dumbass, I’m such a dumbass,” you continued your monologue as you fished out your phone, quickly scrolling through your contacts.

To say that the person on the other end was shocked to hear from you at this time of month and hour was an understatement.

“Yeah, I’m sorry, Lee. I have… eh, a favour to ask…”

✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧

You were being ridiculous.

Absolutely and utterly ridiculous as you stood on a modest porch in front of a small family house, the roof hiding you from the intrusive drizzle but not keeping you quite safe from the wind as you clutched your handbag to your side as if it was your lifeline, cursing yourself for not wearing a scarf in December.

Your nose was practically freezing, your cheeks burned from the wind and your hands were cold too, because you were stupidly underdressed; as if you haven’t lived in Portland your whole life.

But that wasn’t the main issue; an Uber dropped you off about five minutes ago and still, here you were, standing outside and trying to convince yourself to ring the bell.

The plan had been to finish packing a bag and leave around 10 p.m. to your sister’s house, where you would spend the night so you could be with her family on Christmas Day from the very beginning. But then Andrew fucking Barber, your fabulous boss, left a gift in your office, a breath-taking bracelet now sitting low on your right wrist, and it all went to hell.

Maybe you could still make it to your sister’s house – it was shortly after nine, your bag waiting on your bed, so maybe you should just call another Uber and be on your way. Maybe you could leave the silly envelope in the post-box just so you wouldn’t have to deal with Andy’s reaction; after all, he had chosen the same approach; cookies be damned, there would be more left for Harry then-

But you really, really wanted to thank him. And you might be shitting your pants, but the prospect of seeing him in a domestic environment, possibly more relaxed, perhaps nearing the man you had had the honour to see on those nights… you couldn’t make yourself to pass on that opportunity.

At the same time, you kept reminding yourself that Andy did not expect to see you tonight, he might not even be home – you were pretty sure a dim light was coming from the living room, the TV on probably, but yeah, you could keep lying to yourself – and that he might be grieving and genuinely might hate you for invading his privacy since you had to search his home address in the official documents.

Yeah, you definitely should just spin on your heels and-

“Oh for God’s sake,” you muttered under your breath and pressed the doorbell, your heart suddenly hammering in your ribcage as you realized there were no takebacks now. “Shit.”

Maybe you should just run. What if he had fallen asleep already and you just woke him up?! Oh, he was so going to be pissed and he might even show that emotion, screaming you down like he did one with that intern-

A scruffle on the other side of the door snapped you from your hopeless expectations and you sucked in a horrified breath.

And then the door slid open before you could react and you were certain you looked like a deer caught in the headlights, a semi-frozen deer to make the situation worse and--- there he was.

You quickly dropped your gaze, only then realizing how rude that was and that you should meet his eye no matter how much you did and did not want to do so at the same time. As you gaze travelled up, you found that a domestic Andy was everything you imagined he would be; black socks, loose dark grey sweats, pale t-shirt slightly wrinkled. One of his arms hung loosely by his side, the other still at the door-knob as you continued your inspection, gaze caressing the line of his bare forearm, reaching the sleeves that were hugging his biceps precisely. Broad shoulders, perfectly trimmed beard framing plush lips with the slightest hint of a curious smile.

You smiled awkwardly as your eyes met his watching you with interest, dimmed with a hint of a doze-off you must have woken him up from. You tried not to dwell on the inconspicuous redness surrounding his irises.

“I’m sorry if I woke you up!” you blurted out quickly, rewarded with a light shake of his head and a stifled yawn; subtle.

“You didn’t. Hi,” he greeted you, only to make you realize that 1. you forgot to say hi and 2. his post-nap voice was a thing from wet dreams-- which was definitely not relevant at that moment.

“Hi,” you offered unsurely, eyes roaming his face, searching for any trace of anger. All you found was bewilderment; if pleasant or not, you couldn’t tell.

“I’m sorry for barging in. I just… uhm- I wanted to thank you and-“

The hint of a smile on his lips grew a fraction, expression softening at your admission and before you could find your footing, he opened the door further, subtly extending his hand to usher you in.

Your heart skipped a beat, the strangest feeling tickling your gut, teeth sinking into your lower lip, the grip on your handbag growing stronger. Yet you accepted, taking two reluctant steps inside. The door clicked shut behind you, sealing whatever fate awaited you.

Attempting not to look too nosy, you turned back to Andy rather than scanning the hall.

Words got stuck in your throat. As tired as he looked, worn to a bone by everything but physical exercise, you couldn’t but marvel at what a handsome man he was, even without his smart suits and ties and neatly styled fluffy hair; it was still very fluffy, just more of a mess than a fashion statement.

God, wasn’t he beautiful.

He kept looking at you too in mute anticipation of something, appearing mildly lost just as you were, giving the impression of a man who couldn’t tell what to expect.

Your gaze locked with his, unyielding, a gorgeous trap and you knew you had to say or do something before your heart gave out entirely.

Your mouth opened, no words coming out and you cursed yourself, simply opening the bag and pulling out a Tupperware box with half the cookies you baked last night, practically shoving it to Andy’s capable hands.

He accepted the item with eyebrows shooting up once before settling back, eyes misting for a moment. His fingertips brushed yours as he took a firm hold of the box, the not-quite-there smile of his remaining on his lips.

He seemed perplexed.

You felt like an idiot.

“This feels so silly now,” you admitted with a sigh, realizing the absurdity of the situation only accented by the fact that you stood there in the hall of his home in your coat and high-boots, ridiculously overdressed in comparison to him.

“It’s not,” he whispered finally, forcing the corners of his mouth to rise higher. “Thank you. Didn’t know you baked. Should have figured.”

You shrugged. “Never came up.”

Something shifted in his expression as did in the air; you knew he sensed it too. The unspoken hung between you, that you meant not in your daily routine at the office, but on your private nights, so rare and precious, so desperately pretended to be non-existent the next morning.

Your gaze lowered as the silence fell on your pair again and you awkwardly shifted your weight from one leg to the other. His Adam’s apple bobbed.

“So, uh-“

“Thank you for the bracelet. Really. It was-” you licked your lips, meeting his eyes again, so deep, so blue and somehow soft and you forgot what you were about to say. “Eh- I wasn’t expecting it. I-- I didn’t think you’d… notice. And--- care.”

His brows furrowed for a bit and he placed the box on the shoe rack next to him; an action he soon regretted you guessed, because his fingers went for his wrist as if he wanted to readjust his cufflinks, a nervous habit of his, only to meet bare skin. Good to know you weren’t the only one iffy in this conversation.

“But you liked it?” he asked almost shyly and the corners of your lips rose on instinct as did you right hand, the sleeve of your coat sliding down a fraction, enough to reveal the new accessory. “Looks pretty on you.”

Your breath hitched as his fingers gently slid over one of the symbols, brushing over the sensitive skin of your wrist. His gaze returned to yours, a flicker of something heated in his eyes, calling butterflies to your stomach.

Lord have mercy.

“Thanks- uhm--- thank you. Here, I got you something too.” You quickly reached into the handbag again to hide how flustered you felt – for a different reason than awkwardness.

He had touched your wrist and you turned into a blushing mess. Fabulous. And to make the matter more humiliating, now a twinkle of amusement played in his irises.

“You gave me a plant. And cookies.”

“Yeah. Kinda? But that was more of a… gesture?” you offered reluctantly as you handed him the envelope. “I uh—this is probably stupid, but, uhm--- here.”

“Stop putting yourself down,” he muttered darkly, causing your cheeks to burn hotter. “Thank you. You didn’t have to get me anything.” Pulling out the firm colourful paper, he blinked a few times, seemingly surprised. Ha, you bet he expected a Walmart card! Instead, there was a voucher for five entrances to the swimming pool where your friend Lee worked at. “Oh. Thank you. That’s really nice of you.”

A stone the size of Texas fell from your stomach and you couldn’t help the sigh of relief. Andy seemed genuinely pleased by your choice of gift and you felt your whole body relax.

“It’s just… eh, just for half an hour each and you can pick them on a horizon of three months. I’m not sure how often you like going, so… uhm, my friend works at the place, so you just give her a call and it shouldn’t be a problem to book it for mornings right before the opening hours,” you explained lamely, earning a puzzled look.

“How did you know I liked going when no one’s there?”

That caused one corner of your lips twitch in slight amusement and your eyebrow arch, even if his reasons weren’t exactly funny; his cheeks flushed a hint of red, a sight to behold for more than one reason. It was nice to have the roles reserved, you making him feel flustered for once.

Really? The rather quiet lone-wolf Andy Barber, followed by reporters still, just asked you this? Cute.

“…that’s fair,” he said and for a brief second, you were afraid you had shared your thoughts out loud. But he didn’t look offended, so probably not. The self-awareness then. “Thank you.”

“No problem. I’m-eh, glad you like it.”

You stood there again, both smiling – a little reluctantly, a little soft – and once again you had no idea how to proceed.

What you did know was that you enjoyed talking to him, even if it was awkward like this. You enjoyed seeing him in his natural habitat, in his home, relatively relaxed. You thrived seeing more of this Andy Barber, just a handsome guy, not Andrew Barber, the hot-shot lawyer.

He was the first to break the silence, hesitantly gesturing further into the house.

“Would you—would you like to-“

YES! was what you brain screamed.

“Oh, I don’t want to be a bother…” was what you told him, mentally cuffing yourself on the head.

“You’re not,” Andy opposed lowly. The whisper of your name that followed made you shiver.

His gazed trailed all over your face, so intense you would swear he saw right into your soul and further. You felt naked, but for some reason not too vulnerable – Andy seemed to like what he saw, expression genuinely inviting and yet. Yet there was a subtle promise of this not being a friendly invite which was as exciting as unsettling. The air appeared the crackle and you found yourself yearning to taste the electricity on your tongue.

“May I?”

He beckoned to your coat, suddenly free hands already rising and all you could do was to nod, automatically placing your handbag on the floor and unbuttoning the garment. Once if fell open, revealing simple black jeggings and a light pink sweater, Andy sidestepped you, fingers sliding under the hem, cautiously skimming over the bare skin above your collarbones, leaving a burning sensation in their wake.

The warmth of his fingertips seeped into your flesh and yet you shuddered, goosebumps rising on your skin.

You watched Andy put your coat away with care, turning back to you torturously slowly. He filled all of your personal space, so close and too far. You weren’t sure when exactly the air turned so heavy in your lungs, but as your gaze travelled to his lips, not missing how his sought yours in return, you felt all the oxygen leave the room.

“Andy,” the word rolled off your tongue, nothing but a soundless breath of his name.

His gaze flickered from your eyes to your lips again and back before he spoke, voice barely above a whisper, hoarse.

“Am I imagining it?”

He didn’t have to say what and still you knew with absolute certainty that he was addressing the unbearable and delicious tension, the one that had been building and coming to life during those three nights you had spent talking in his office late--- and now it was back with smouldering intensity.

“You’re not.”

You shivered and gulped when he cautiously took a single little step further into your space, your gaze falling to his chest, lowering in sudden surge of the deep-rotted insecurity, whispering about your and his world being thousands of miles apart. And yet, your heart raced in anticipation, your hopes dizzyingly high that you might touch heaven, even if for a few moments.

When his fingertips grasped your jaw, tough light and oh so careful, your eyelids fluttered close, already indulging in the sensation. God, his touch was so soft despite the roughness of his fingertips…

As if he wished to torture you or to indulge that sweet little moment before lips met lips, he stopped an inch from his destination, his breaths as wavering as yours, the words whispered straight into your mouth just a little broken.

“I’m fucked up.”

Your brain basked in blissful fog, but this got across, causing you to tense briefly.

You couldn’t deny what he was saying, you both knew he spoke the ultimate truth – well, you guessed. What had happened to him, having his life dismantled and then losing his family, that sort of thing was bound to leave a scar. Confirming it bluntly though, that felt unforgiving, only adding insult to injury.

“We all are,” you whispered instead, not only because you wouldn’t say ‘fucked up’, the words too harsh.

And it wasn’t trivializing the tragic turn his life had taken. It wasn’t downplaying the depth of his wounds. It wasn’t necessarily implying that you had been through something equally horrible either. Most importantly, it wasn’t you mocking him.

And somehow, he understood that; even if he could have interpreted it in every wrong way imaginable and shove you away, insulted, disgusted.

But no, in that fleeting moment that meant everything, Andy understood that this was your acceptance; this was you telling him that you were willing to try; take whatever he offered and give anything you could in return.

Finally, his lips brushed over yours, slightly chapped and oh so warm and delicious, withdrawing too soon, leaving you to savour the taste as your ran your tongue over your own lips. You inhaled shakily, overwhelmed by everything that was him, powerful, electrifying and then your hand was somehow on his chest, your palm laid over his racing heart, your fingers twitching as his ribcage expanded with a sharp inhale.

Blindly, your mouth searched his again, his whiskers tickling softly and scratching at once, a pleasant sensation on your sensitive skin as he grew bolder, and truly attached your lips in a kiss that made you feel lightheaded with the emotion poured into it. Your hand curled around his nape, an instinct to pull him closer, fingers toying with the short soft hair there, drawing a hum from within the expanse of his chest.

You granted him access to your mouth when he wordlessly asked, but it was him who retreated shortly after that, his heart now appearing as if in pain with its furious beats under your palm. His breaths started coming out short and it dawned to you what was wrong. How fast this could have felt to him, even if he was the one to start it.

‘I’m fucked up,’ he had said. Too caught in the moment, you hadn’t fully realized the extent of his words perhaps.

But you did now – at least a little better than before.

So when he rested his forehead against yours and a breathless ‘sorry’ slipped from his lips, you shook your head lightly and planted a kiss on his cheek, hand still on the back of his head, fingers running over his scalp in a hopefully soothing motion.

“I’ve got you, Andy. You lead.”

You had no strength to keep him close when he pulled his face away, your eyes snapping open in fright that you had said something terribly wrong.

But Andy’s cerulean eyes were big and glassy, grateful and softly speaking about him being… moved by your proposition. Your heart felt like it just grew twice its size, too big to fit into your chest at what a breath-taking picture he was.

The next thing you knew, he dropped a chaste kiss to your forehead and pulled you into his arms, an almost protective embrace, kissing the top of your head for a good measure and you melted against his large frame, smiling into t-shirt.

“Thank you,” he murmured breathlessly into your hair and your smile widened, remembering the note he had left with the exquisite gift that had started everything that led you right here into this moment.

“Happy Holidays.”

Thank you for reading! I’ve been sitting on this since the beginning of damn November. I hope you enjoyed.

It was my first (and maybe last) time writing Andy, so I hope it was alright. Feedback always appreciated.

P.S. – sorry if the nosy reporters thing offended you.

P.P.S. - …I know, the prompt was veeery loosely filled. Shush.

Pretty divider by whismicalrogers.

#happyhoelidays2020 #andy barber x reader #andy barber imagine #andy barber x you #defending jacob #post defending jacob #andy barber #holiday fic #christmas fic #andy barber fluff #andy barber angst #andy barber fanfiction #andy barber fanfic #fanfiction #challenge fic #conundrum #anika ann

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kyidyl · 3 years

Text

Kyidyl Explains Bone - Part 1

(These posts will be collected under the tag KyidylBones because I have the sense of humor of a 13 year old boy. Also, I’m going to start cross-posting them to my science side blog @science-of-anthropology in an effort to like give people a place to go if they’re just here for these posts and not for my other random thoughts. That blog also contains a lot of decent info from the days I was premed and taking premed physical science classes.)

Intro and Ethical Considerations

Ok, all you weird nerds out there (<3), how’s your day going? Good? Are you ready to hear me ramble about one of my favorite things on earth? Well, then gather ‘round ye old tumblr fire. We’re gonna learn about *people*! Because all the stuff I taught you before was stuff you basically learn in anthropology undergrad and in a field school. But! I *specialized*. I have secret powe--*coughs* I mean, a special interest. See, my favorite topic in the whole world, the one on which I will ADHD infodump for DAYS about if you let me, is the intersection of human evolution and culture. My ultimate goal is either to work in a museum, or be a scientist that studies this. That’s why I went out and got a masters.

A bioarchaeology masters not only taught me how to dig up people, but a whole HOST of other things related to people and digging (Like genetics and using drones to survey an area for digging.). But before we can get into the details, there’s a few things you have to understand. First:

On sex, race, ethnicity, and gender

Anthropologists of all kinds are well, WELL aware that these 4 things are extremely fraught and extremely complicated. Probably more aware than any of the other sciences. But, when you learn to identify skeletons you learn to do it based on sex and race for a couple reasons:

1. When identifying a body for the police department, their databases are entirely based on these identifying characteristics. A lot of forensic anthropologists work with the police to identify remains. If we can’t pick out demographic qualities then we’d never match them up to people in the missing persons database who are listed along a sex binary and racial categories. But believe me when I tell you we all do it under duress and in annoyance because we know how complicated these things are for people.

2. When dealing with populations that are gone and can’t tell us what they identified as, we arrange them by sex and race to make some sort of sense of the demographics of an area. This is how we know, for example, that people from Africa intermingled early and often with people from Europe. Being able to ID these markers on a skeleton is faster and cheaper than DNA tests and often the only method available, especially in prehistoric populations.

So I will be discussing features on bones in these terms, but understand that it’s not my way of excluding trans people. We, as of yet, just have no good way of *identifying* trans people in the archaeological record.

And second:

Ethics

Ethics is a huge and thorny topic so I’m going to only make a couple notes here. I bounced this series around in my head for awhile and the reason I didn’t do it sooner is that despite having human remains in my possession for legitimate scientific reasons, it’s extremely unethical for me to post pictures of them on the open internet. The same goes for the tons of pictures I have of human remains from my masters studies. To that ends, the images I’ll be using will fall into one of four categories: images from my textbooks, images on the public web that are available for educational use, and images of Bone Clones, and my own image of damage patterns on animal bones. This is also a warning that, yes, there will be images of human remains here. I’ve decided, though, that when a post starts to contain human remains, I’ll insert a cut. So you will not be surprised by human remains randomly in your timeline.

Now, here are some ethical things I need you guys to understand and adhere to:

- These people had names in life, and you do not get to give them new ones. Naming a skeleton is verbotten in archaeology circles, and often will extend to Bone Clones because they are casts of real bones. The correct terminology here is either “the/this individual” or “the remains”. If specificity is needed they’re either given an identification number or referred to by their demographic information. If you have the name of the individual bc there was a gravestone or records, then it’s ok to use it. Often we don’t though for privacy reasons.

- These were people. They had tastes, beliefs, people who loved them, etc. - all of which were different than mine or yours. Please keep that in mind when commenting.

- There is no ethical way for a lay person to obtain human remains, aside from direct donation by a relative or friend. No, I don’t care what they website says in their statement about ethical sourcing. They did NOT obtain the remains ethically. The people who sold the remains almost always do so under duress, usually economic. And if they weren’t given, they were stolen. There is No. Ethical. Way. To. Purchase. Human. Bone.

- Modern bone collections obtained by institutions for education usually are obtained ethically. Often via donation by a living donor before their death for the purpose of scientific education. In other instances they are obtained from legally-dug excavations, from donation by family members (IE, no money exchanged and consent given.), or with some other kind of permission. However, there are many existing bone collections that pre-date this practice and are NOT obtained ethically. In the US these are undergoing identification (we’ll get to this in another post) and repatriation, but this is just one of the many thorny issues that physical anthropologists and archaeologists have to be aware of.

- What other societies do with their human remains is going to seem strange and sometimes disgusting or objectionable to you. Not always, but definitely sometimes. This is their choice and in this house we respect the emic (within the social group) view on death rituals.

I think that’s everything...if I remember more I’ll sprinkle them in as I go along. Ethical violations are a Big Deal among archaeologists and other social scientists who handle human remains. It’s one of the few things we don’t joke about (because as we all know, archaeologists are forces of chaos.). The history of completely unethical treatment in the field makes us very sensitive to how human remains are handled and where they came from. Questions are 100% fine - you all are still learning and I’m not gonna get mad at you for not knowing yet. I’ll gently let you know if it’s inappropriate.

So here’s the stuff I’m planning on getting to:

Human vs. Animal

Sex identification.

Racial identification.

Age identification.

Teeth!

Damage to the skeleton (this might be two posts.).

Other random stuff that might come up while I’m doing the other things.

So....let’s begin....mwahahahahahahahaha. And for making it to the bottom of this post you get a bonus picture of me AND the dog:

His name is Gage, and my name is Kristina - you’re welcome to use it. I know probably “Kyidyl” isn’t easy to say in your heads. :) It’s pronounced kai-dul if you were every wondering tho. Now you can put a face to the internet voice. :)

#KyidylBones #science #anthropology #archaeology #human remains #long post #ethics #the discussion before the discussion #my face #my dog

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lazyneonrabbitt · 3 years

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Paintings & Picture frames. [Pt.7]

Daryl Dixon x Reader [Pt.1] [Pt.2] [Pt.3] [Pt.4] [Pt.5] [Pt.6]

A/N: We’re nearing the end of intro week! I’m thinking of ways to keep them interacting after this, I don’t wanna end this story yet but I also don’t wanna make them date immediately just so I have a reason to make them spend time together. Updates after the next chapter may be a little slower because of this! Please enjoy this chapter!

Daryl loved watching you work, with everything you did there was this softness and it all looked so carefully thought out from his point of view. Not like his work that was all rough, and his mechanic work may have intricate parts but it was no way to be considered art. The two of you kept working for a while longer, constantly finding small things to edit or fix. After the umpteenth tiny edit, wondering what color would suit better with the photos used on your cover and eventually setting on one you realised it had started to get late already and your stomachs were grumbling for some food. Hearing your body make all the hungry noises you immediately felt embarrassed and felt a blush creep up your cheeks. Daryl noticed your shifting and let out a soft laugh. "

Ya wanna eat? I can head home if we're done." He offered. He wasn't sure how much longer he was welcome now that you had finished your schoolwork. You didn't want him to leave yet, it was nice to have someone over for a while, even if it was just for school. He was nice to be around and in a new town that was amazing already. "We can order something, I got paid this week so I got some extra cash to spend." You offered to buy dinner for the two of you and Daryl wanted to say no and go home, but he really didn't want to go back home again. He'd see you at school tomorrow but what was gonna happen after the project week was done and you both went your own ways? He wasn't ready to have that happen just yet so he reluctantly agreed on having dinner with you. "Yeah, sounds good. What're ya thinkin' of?" He asked and you opened up your local delivery service website. After going through multiple suggestions that were turned down by you being a picky eater or Daryl not being in the mood for that kind of food you ended on pizza. The one topic you immediately agreed on, a share size barbeque chicken pizza with extra bacon. After you ordered the pizza you went over to your desk to set up your printer to get your project on paper and all nice in a folder. Making sure all the pages were in the right order, adding the cover in the page sleeve on the front and putting the original artworks you made behind the last pages as well as some extra printed photos you made during Daryl's classes. All got some kind of description written on the back by the person who made the picture or painting.

Not long after you had it all put together your pizza arrived at the front door of your building, telling the guy you were gonna come and pick it up there and leaving Daryl alone in your apartment. He looked around at everything, observing and taking in every little detail from your matching dark furniture to your weird amount of small statues of animals and video game stuff. The dinner table was littered with art supplies that wouldn't fit on your desk anymore, which was full of digital artist items and sketchpads. Without really thinking of it at all he got up and walked towards your desk. It was full of half filled pieces of paper with small sketches on them. It mostly was all in one theme and while some were crossed out or had some negative texts written next to them, others had certain parts circled in colored marker with details written next to them that probably all made sense when put together. He of course had no idea what that put together something would be, but he was sure it would be really cool. On the table behind him were all kinds of paints and large papers filled with colors and mixes, something like what he learned in your class last week, but then huge and way more detailed than the small thing you two made in a two-hour class that was mostly the teacher explaining stuff instead of actually working. He mostly just followed your lead that day and still had no clue what he did but you seemed to be proud of what he did and that was all that mattered. It was weird how just looking at some colors on paper made him think about memories with you that made his heart flutter inside his chest. There was no way he was gonna tell you that, though. Not until he was sure you felt the same way, not that you ever would feel the same about a guy like him.

Back in the hallway you walked towards your apartment, taking deep breaths and trying to calm your mind. Having dinner with Daryl was just a normal classmates thing to do after finishing a project, nothing to be worried about. Except maybe accidentally spilling your drink. Or eating weird. Choking on a crumb or maybe just air. Would he be grossed out if you talked with your mouth full? What the hell, all those thoughts were so stupid you didn't even know how your head came up with them. You were just normally gonna eat your takeout pizza like you always do and everything would be fine. You made it back to your door in one piece and balanced the pizza in one hand while you fiddled with your keys in the other, opening the door and walking in. Daryl had been so intrigued by your artwork that he hadn't noticed you come in and set the pizza on the coffee table. "Food's here." You stated, watching Daryl snap out of his gaze. "Aight, cool." He stuttered on his way back to tho couch. To say he felt embarrassed being caught staring at your personal work was an understatement. He felt like he had accidentally invaded your privacy and had no idea how to tell you. But then again you didn't seem angry or anything so was it really as bad as he thought. You noticed him not really paying attention to the food first thing after sitting down and wondered what went on in his head. Maybe you weren't the only one nervous about having dinner together? While you already did have coffee at the diner while you worked earlier this week, so this wasn't even that new. Of course you were still nervous because that was just who you were.

The thoughts quickly left when you were both eating and enjoying the food a lot. "What place was this? Gotta get this at work sometime." Daryl commented after grabbing a second piece while putting the last bits of his first slice in his mouth. You told him the name of the place and where it was located. Daryl knew the street it was located on but never really paid much attention to the shops that occupied it. He did pass the place multiple times a week on his way to work and he was sure to pay more attention to it from now on. The two of you ate mostly in silence beside the occasional comment about pizzas or the suggestion of a drink refill. Only when there were only two slices left that were now in the both of yours hands, you started talking more. The conversations went from favorite foods to your hobbies outside of your study, tv shows you liked to watch or places you'd ever want to visit. Before the two of you had realised it, it had gotten dark outside already. You only realised when Daryl wanted to go outside for another cigarette. That one cigarette quickly turned into a Shit it's this late already?! goodbye smoke in front of your apartment building, with a promise to see each other again in the morning on Daryl's usual parking spot at school before your last day of the introduction week.

#daryl dixon #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon imagine #twd #twd x reader #twd imagine #the walking dead #the walking dead imagine #the walking dead x reader #twd daryl #imagine #x reader #twd fanfiction #fanfic #sometimes I write

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hongism · 4 years

Text

ateez kinks - all members (s)

compiled list of ateez kinks here woot woot

…

Park Seonghwa

definite kinks

sir/master kink - for sure for sure for sure hands down i am here to spread the dom seonghwa agenda. ahem. mans has a sir/master kink for sure. would call you kitten any day of the week, say stuff like “does kitten like being a needy little mess for sir?”, “kitten, you need to use your words for master” and more. would ask to get you chokers and collars. that’s all. thank you.

breath play (giving) - going along with the chokers, i think seonghwa would be super into a bit of choking here and there as well, esp when he’s feeling hard dom (bc i think he switches between hard and soft dom depending on the occasion and such) yea so breath play yes

finger sucking (giving) - lowkey a size kink/dominance thing for him, i think he’d love to see his fingers filling up your mouth especially if you’re on your knees too it would just turn him on sO much

ice play (giving) - i said it before in my mtl for this and seonghwa was all the way into it and i stand by that. i think he would LOVE ice play especially during a makeout or oral sex, he’s gonna be super into it. seeing chills on your skin and you squirm under him is a big major plus for him and he’s here for it.

maybe kinks

light bondage (giving/receiving) - receiving huh? on dom hwa? yes actually, i think he would be kinda into it bc he would see it as a challenge/competition to get out of it and put you in it instead. he wouldn’t mind cuffing you or tying you to the bed here and there but i think he would have a lot of fun with a “i’ll get out of this bondage and put you in them’ scenario

edging (giving/receiving) - more into giving i think bc of his dom tendencies but i think he wouldn’t be opposed to the occasional edging from you as well. it wouldn’t be something he’d do a TON bc i think he leans more towards soft dom most of the time, but if he’s in a hard dom mood, then hell yea edging

definitely not

definitely not toys. i don’t think seonghwa would enjoy the use of toys in the bedroom, maybe (and i really really mean maybe) he might use a vibrator in public on you but that’s IT. he won’t wanna use toys at all outside of that bc i think he would rather wanna focus on pleasing you without them.

…

other members under the cut

...

Kim Hongjoong

definite kinks

sir/master kink - whOoPs sorry not sorry bc i seriously believe both seonghwa and hongjoong have this kink, maybe bc they’re the oldest, maybe bc their personalities, maybe stage presence idek i can’t explain why i think it buT i do. i think hongjoong is a dom (more of a hard dom than soft dom) and he would love being called sir, maybe master as well, but definitely sir. i have further reasoning in the next kink

power kink - yep i think he has a power kink to some extent. i think being the leader might be why i say this, but also the way the other members say he acts as the leader. i think with his partner in the bedroom, he would love having power and control, which is why i’m so adamant about a sir kink as well

thigh riding (receiving) - this may be a surprise bc i’m sure some of you are like but?? he’s small?? compared to the others?? yes he is but he has good thighs and i think that’s something he probs likes about himself, and he would love love LOVE to see you come undone off his thigh alone. but like,,,,can you imagine riding his thigh in the studio while he’s composing? i’m- O.o

marking (giving/receiving) - i debated putting this in the maybe section but thought about it again and went nope, yea, definite. i think that he would love to mark your inner thighs and collarbone and neck for sure, but i also think that he would love holding your hips while fucking you to the point where there are bruises on your hips. he would probs love having hickeys here and there on himself as well

maybe kinks

edging (giving) - i think he would be pretty salty and petty if he received edging, but he would love to tease the fuck out of you and edge you like no tomorrow. again, further reasoning in the next kink

begging (receiving) - part of the power/sir/dom agenda here again, but he would love it if you begged for him. that’s something i think he would really be after when teasing you. especially when edging you too

definitely not

bondage - even though i think he’s a hard dom most of the time, i think he would not want to tie you up and tease you like that. i see him as a person who would rather let both of you be free to move around as you please and as much as you can without restraints from cuffs, ropes, and the like.

...

Jeong Yunho

definite kinks

size kink - big boy loves feeling big and seeing how small you are under/on top of him.

biting (giving) - he wants to mark every inch of you simple as that.

finger sucking (giving) - again with the size related thing, he loves seeing how big his fingers are in your mouth.

edging (giving/receiving) - something about this would be so hot to him, he would love receiving it if you edge him while sucking his dick or jerking him off, and he would love returning the favor.

maybe kinks

sir/daddy kink - since yunho is a soft baby boy i think he would really need to be in the mood for a sir/daddy kink. if he’s feeling particularly kinky one day then hell yea bet on it.

spanking (giving) - again, a very circumstantial and in the mood kinda thing, especially considering he never wants to hurt you.

overstimulation (giving/receiving) - he would much rather edge you/be edged, but he would love to see you writhing under him after orgasm after orgasm hits you. he would also wanna experience it himself and ask you to do it to him a few times to know what it feels like.

definitely not

sadism/masochism - this big baby doesn’t want to hurt you. ever. sure he’s down for some nibbling and biting but only as long as you feel good. and mAYBE a bit of spanking but he would never want to hurt you either.

...

Kang Yeosang

definite kinks

sir/daddy/master kink - hi hello it’s your #1 yeosang dom/switch leaning dom enthusiast here to say i believe yeosang would loVE being called any one of these names in the bedroom. i think that despite his quiet nature and seemingly shy/introverted personality, he would be dominant and forward in the bedroom. i see him as the type to not give you what you want unless you call him by one of those names, otherwise he’s going to be petty and just ignore you altogether

wax play (giving/receiving) - perhaps another surprise choice, but i kinda covered this in my mtl of this a lil bit. i think he would enjoy the dominance aspect of dripping wax over you and seeing your reaction to it. i think he wouldn’t be opposed to receiving either (i see him as a soft dom so he would let you do some things you wanna try too). his main preference would to be giving though

light bondage (giving/receiving) - another surprise? maybe. as much as i think he would adore tying you up, i think he would equally enjoying being blindfolded and tied up himself. kinda a mystery “i don’t know what’ll happen next” vibe that would arose him imo.

maybe kinks

lingerie - i think yeosang would aDORE seeing you all dressed up and pretty in some lingerie for him. he may pick out what you wear and such, then fuck you while you’re still wearing it because he finds it hot and arousing

cum play (i’m so sorry idek why i got chills typing it out) - so i said before in a mtl that i think yeosang would be into cumming on your stomach, but not opposed to cumming in you. either way, i think he would really enjoy playing with it afterwards, either smearing it all over you, fucking it back into you with his cock or fingers, or making you clean it off his fingers.

definitely not

voyeurism/exhibitionism - since he’s shy/reserved/most likely introverted, i think yeosang wants to keep sex well out of the public eye. he wouldn’t even want it to be a risk or a possibility of being caught. just no. never. not happening. he doesn’t want to do that to either of you. he respects other people’s privacy, and would expect the same in return.

...

Choi San

definite kinks

sir/daddy/master kink - i think san is hardcore definitely a dom. i know i say this with sO many of them but on god i seriously get so many dom vibes from so many of them that i ain’t even sorry about it. so yes definitely into sir, probs into a bit of daddy/master on occasion

power exchange - again, i think san would be a hardcore dom in the bedroom, so he would want you to give the power and control over to him and just trust that he’s going to take good care of you if you’ve been good that is

edging (giving/receiving) - san would def like to give, i think that’s certain, but i think he would enjoy playing around and making you think you have some semblance of control during sex. so he may let you edge him here and there, but if he gets fed up with it then you’re doomed basically

exhibitionism - san hit the top of my list for public sex, and i stand by that. i think he would love the rush and thrill of possibly being caught, and he would have no shame in being caught because he knows he fucks you well. i think he’d really enjoy the aspect of mirror sex bc he would be able to see you and make you watch him fuck you

maybe kinks

overstimulation (giving) - more of a give than receive for certain, i think if san was in the mood for some punishment he would definitely put you through it and overstimulate the HELL out of you until you’re crying under him

breath play (giving/receiving) - for this portion of my ted talk i would like to say this. choke him while you ride him. thank you, good night. in all seriousness tho, i think he’d love some breath play, especially giving while he’s rough fucking you like in the dance studio up against the mirror

deepthroating - hell yea san would love this. i think he has somewhat of an oral fixation but like for his partner, so he would love seeing things in your mouth, especially if it’s his cock, and i think he’d love the feeling of your throat tightening around him while you’re sucking him off

definitely not

honestly i don’t think much is off the table for san. i see him as experimental, so he would wanna try everything at least once unless his partner just isn’t into it. he would take his partner’s opinions and feelings into consideration of course, i think they all would, but i don’t think he would have anything that he says a firm no to

...

Song Mingi

definite kinks

size kink - mingi, like yunho, is a big boi. and i think he loves that. i do think he forgets about his size from time to time and plays around too much, but other than that he’s gonna get a rise out of using his size against you.

thigh riding (receiving) - he would think it’s so so hot to see you riding his thigh. i think he could probs cum untouched just watching you ride his thigh like damn.

deepthroating (receiving) - i think he adores blowjobs and he would probs love deepthroating a ton. he would wanna fuck your mouth too but it would be super hot to him to have your throat around his cock.

maybe kinks

edging (receiving/giving) - i think he would enjoy giving more than receiving bUT he may be down for some edging if you’re giving him a blowjob.

orgasm control (giving) - kinda related to edging, i think mingi would be super into telling you and controlling when you orgasm. just a dominance sorta thing.

definitely not

any sort of bondage - he wants both of you to be free to move around as best you can and doesn’t want to tie you up or gag you and collar you at all. he just isn’t into it and doesn’t like the thought of it.

...

Jung Wooyoung

definite kinks

creampie - starting strong, i think wooyoung would be super into creampie-ing(? idek the proper terminology welp). he would love the warmth first and foremost, but he would also adore seeing you filled to the brim with cum and really get off on seeing that

thigh riding (receiving) - wooyoung has amazing incredible godly thighs, and i could write a whole ass essay about them and them alone bUT i won’t, i will just say that i think wooyoung would love love love to see you ride his thighs, especially if he’s feeling lazy one day, seeing you use his thigh to get off would be so hot to him

ice play (giving/receiving) - i lowkey covered this earlier in my mtl, but i think wooyoung would love seeing chills across your skin and watching the ice melt as he drags it across you, that would just be super hot to him. i think he would enjoy receiving as well, especially if he’s under you and you’re dragging it down his chest

marking (giving/receiving) - he would love showing a bit of possessiveness with you, so he would wanna mark you all over for everyone to see and would not be shy about showing off any marks you leave on him. i see him as the type to be kinda cocky about marking, whether it be bragging about the marks on you or on him.

maybe kinks

edging (giving/receiving) - as for receiving, i think wooyoung would be super into you edging him during a blowjob or handjob, he would want to pass that bit of control over to you and let you do as you please, but he may secretly be hoping for you to take your time. as for giving, he would do to you exactly what he wants done to himself. he would take his time when giving head and that’s also where the next kink comes into play

toys - he would rather use them on you, and he would def love using them to edge you and tease you. maybe a bit of “oh i bet you wish my hands were on you right now” “such a shame you can only get off with toys”, things like that. i think using toys would really pull out the dom in him

face sitting - i have a mtl in my inbox regarding face sitting, so this is a little spoiler about who is gonna be at the top. he will encourage it too. you don’t have to ask because he will suggest it. i think he would love to look up at you from that position and watch you come undone over him

light bondage (receiving) - a nod to the sub in him, i believe wooyoung would enjoy being cuffed to the bed or tied down to some extent. i don’t think he would ever want to tie you up because he would be too worried about accidentally hurting you, but he would love it if you tied him down. he might see it as a bit of a challenge to get out and win dominance, but depending on his mood, he may just sit back and enjoy himself a bit

definitely not

pain play (giving) - unlike san, i think wooyoung does have his limits. as kinky and sexual as i think he is, i think he would want to draw the line at pain play because he really really just does not wanna hurt his partner. i think, even if you asked for it, wooyoung wouldn’t really want to but he would still want to please you so he may try to be rough, but still end up being gentle instead

...

Choi Jongho

definite kinks

angry sex - can this be considered a kink? yes? no? maybe? we’re going with yes today bc yes. jongho would be so into angry sex, he would love to fuck it out of his system and just fuck you senseless tbh check out my angry sex jongho blurb here (shameless plug) bc that’s that on my thoughts sorry not sorry NEXT

strength/power kink - baby boy jongho is strong, there’s no doubt about that. he wants to flaunt it too. he wants to show off how strong he is, especially during sex, whether it be the strength of his thrusts or what position he puts you in. he will want the power during sex. mans is a dom, and that’s that.

finger sucking (giving) - going along with the power kink, jongho would love to have his fingers in your mouth. especially if he just fucked your mouth and came on your lips, he would love to fuck it back into your mouth with his fingers for sure that would really get him going i think

maybe kinks

titty fucking (lol i hate typing this im so sorry) - jongho i think likes boobs a lot so he would love to fuck your boobs for sure or maybe just leave hickeys all over your boobs idek i think he has a boob fixation so he would love to do anything related to them

marking (giving) - i think he would love marking you anywhere and everywhere really but mostly on your chest or inner thighs. a show of dominance really, but he wants to show that you are his and his only

definitely not

public sex/exhibitionism - i think jongho would consider sex a very private and intimate thing and he would never want to put either of you in a position where you might be caught or seen. he wants it to be something special between the two of you and the two of you alone. that’s all.

...

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angelicxholland · 4 years

Note

Hi can you do a Tom Holland one where the reader and him like just got married and their all cute and movie dovey and like in the honey moon phase ?please

Mrs. Holland

A/N: ohhh I love this 🥺 oh and it’s my first time writing smut so go easy with me please

Summary: You and Tom just got married and your honeymoon is about to start, where you make amazing memories

Warnings: SMUT 18+, mentions of bullying, unprotected sex (always use protection kiddos), oral (m and f receiving), not prove read

Word count: 3.5K

“You may kiss the bride now!” the priest said and Tom pulled you into a loving kiss shortly after. This was the best day in your life and nothing could ruin it for you. You were with the love of your life, which you just married a few seconds ago. The guests around you applauded when Tom was kissing you and lips turned into a smile. His arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer and not letting you go.

He was yours. You were his. From now on you were Mrs Holland.

Y/n Holland.

When you pulled away, Tom picked you up bridal style and carried you out of the church and let you back down, when he was standing outside. Both your families were extremely happy and they couldn’t hide their joy for you.

When you first met Tom you didn’t even know what marriage was in the first place. You were six years old and were playing on the playground. You were building a big, beautiful sandcastle and just when you’ve finished, there came this boy, who was around eight, and stepped on your castle on purpose. You started to cry immensely and that was when Tom stepped into your life.

He was seven at this moment and when he saw what the boy did to your sandcastle, he got mad. He walked to the boy and pushed him into the sand and helped you to stand up. Tom’s mother Nikki wasn’t happy about that at all. She didn’t raise him to push another boy for no reason, but when she saw that he defended you, she was proud even tho it wasn’t great to push someone to the ground.

Tom had wiped your tears away and asked you if he can build a new castle with you and you agreed to this idea. From this day you got to see him more often. You grew up with him because your moms were friends in high school.

A few years later he became your best friend and then your boyfriend. You two dated for around five years and that’s when he finally proposed to you. It was your best day ever back then. Today he was not your boyfriend anymore, he was your husband!

When Tom let you down you pulled him in for another sweet kiss and looked at your ring afterwards and smiled. You were marred with your ring that you didn’t even notice that Tom’s parents were approaching both of you and pulled Tom into a loving hug.

Suddenly you heard Tom call your name and looked up to see him and his parents smiling at you “sorry, what did you say?” you asked and Tom just chuckled and pulled you into his side “my parents congratulated us”

“Oh yeah, thank you,” you said and got pulled into a hug by Nikki shortly after, “finally I’ve got the daughter I always wanted to have,” she said and you heard Tom coughing behind you two. When you pulled away and saw Tom pouting which made you all laugh and Nikki told him that she had wonderful boys but always wanted a daughter too.

After that Dom pulled you into a hug too and told you that he’s glad that Tom chose you as his bride and that you are a lovely couple. “Tom can be proud to have such a lovely girl as his wife” he added and Tom agreed.

You received so much more congratulations that you couldn’t count them anymore. So when everyone congratulated you, Tom and you drove to the venue where you would throw a party to celebrate your marriage. You would also have the father-daughter dance with your dad there and he told you that he practised all last week for it and couldn’t wait to show you his skills. You had laughed at that and told him that you bet that his skills are amazing.

And his skills were indeed amazing. It was so great to spend such a meaningful experience with your dad and you thanked him afterwards. When the song had ended, you felt a hand on your shoulder, which you identified as Tom’s. Your father left the two of you alone and you turned around to face your amazing husband.

The music started to play and Tom started to dance with you. While dancing you had laid your head against his chest and told him, how much you love him and that you couldn’t wait for your honeymoon with him anymore. “Me too, darling! Me too!” He said and danced with you for another few songs.

You danced until your feet were sore and Tom had to carry you to a chair and pull your shoes off. He placed a kiss on top of each foot and sat next to you. “Do you wanna drink something, love?” He asked and you shook your head no but thanked him nevertheless.

After many hours of dancing, drinking and laughing you decided to call it a day and go home. Your feet were still sore but you didn’t want your husband to carry you for the rest of the day. So you stood up, took your shoes and walked with bare feet to the car, where your and his family waited for you to say goodbye.

It would be the last time in a month because tomorrow morning your honeymoon started. Tom’s best mate Harrison suggested to drive you to the airport in the early morning. You and Tom decided to go to Hawaii, so you booked a plane in the early morning. You would stay three weeks in Hawaii and Tom booked a whole mansion for you two. There was also a bit of the beach attached. That means you would also have a private beach, which was great so you could have a little bit more privacy.

When you arrived home you were so glad that your suitcase was already packed so you didn’t have to do it now, because you were really tired and couldn’t concentrate properly anymore. You didn’t even notice how Tom was standing behind you and asking if you were tired. When you didn’t answer he just picked you up and carried you into your shared bedroom where he laid you on the bed.

You were still in your wedding dress and had to remove it first. You sat up and asked him if he could open your zipper, which he gladly did. Left were your bra and underwear and Tom knew that you were tired so he pulled off your bra and gave you a shirt of his to wear. You send him a goofy smile and pulled it on. Tom pulled off his suit and laid next to you under the covers in just his underwear.

It didn’t take long and both of you were deep asleep in each other’s arms and dreaming about your future together.

The next morning did Tom wake you up with some breakfast and a good cup of tea. You were a bit disappointed to not having him laying next to you but when you saw the breakfast he made for you, you weren’t any longer sad. You sat at the dining table together and he served you the delicious breakfast. You didn’t know Tom could cook so amazing. It was even better then the ones Sam cooked on Sunday.

Your plate was real quick empty and you felt at this moment so full. You believed that when you would move, you would throw up now. But you didn’t.

Tom chuckled at your behaviour and pressed a kiss against your cheek and made his way into the bathroom, “I’m gonna take a shower” he said and looked at you for another second, hoping that you would join but you weren’t in the mood for it. So you just put the dishes away and got dressed.

Just when Tom went out of your bedroom fully dressed, rang the doorbell. You opened the door and greeted Harrison with a loving hug. You two had a really great friendship but it was nothing compared to tom and his. You gripped your suitcase and followed Tom outside of Harrison’s car. You both placed your suitcases into the trunk and got into the car. Tom sat on the passenger seat and you in the back of the car.

The drive to the airport wasn’t long but when you arrived, you hat to say your goodbyes. You and Tom gave Haz a tight hug and then you went into the airport and checked in. Now we had to wait for our plane to board. We decided to sit down at our gate already and a few of toms fan came to you and asked for a photo or an Autograph. Tom didn’t deny any of their questions and you absolutely adored this side of him. He was always so kind and sweet.

After a few hours of waiting, you could finally go on the plane and it didn’t take long and you sat in your first-class seats. You were really glad to have booked first class because 22 hours was a big amount of time. You both were separated from the other guests. It was basically like a room for you two. Your two seats, separated through a thin wall where you could place your water bottle on top of it, a little tv in front of you and a pillow and a blanket to sleep with. It was so unreal and Tom just laughed at your reaction.

During the flight, you watched a lot of movies with your loving husband. You even watched his latest movie and you couldn’t stop staring at him when there was a shirtless scene. He was perfect for you and you made sure to show him that every single day. You also got a whole meal served which Tom said was absolutely delicious and it was. It was really delicious, but it would never compare to your breakfast in the morning.

You spend 12 hours of the flight like this and you slept the other ten hours with your hand in toms lap, where he held it tight in his own. He slept as well while I was sleeping and when I woke up again, from a really good sleep, Tom showed me a photo he took of me sleeping. He made it his background on his phone and couldn’t stop smiling. You already knew that your honeymoon would be amazing.

Once you had landed you got your suitcases and left the airport. It was really beautiful outside and you still had the whole day to spend together. Due to the time difference you had with London, where you in Hawaii at noon.

Tom called an Uber for the both of you, which drove you to your rented house. When you arrived there you couldn’t close your mouth anymore. It was big and amazing. It was like a dream and you couldn’t move. Tom laughed again at your reaction and got your suitcases out of the trunk and put them inside the house. You still couldn’t move so Tom had to come back outside and carry you into the house. “I can walk by myself” you laughed and he put you back down and kissed your cheek before taking your suitcases upstairs into the master bedroom.

You followed your husband upstairs and kissed him on the cheek when you entered your bedroom and opened your suitcase to pull a bikini out. You went into the bathroom and changed into it and when you went outside again, you saw Tom in just his swim shorts. Your eyes went down his body to his abs and his v line. You bit your lower lip and stepped closer to lay your hand against his toned skin. “I’m gonna go sunbath a bit ok, love?” You said and he nodded and followed you downstairs and onto the beach.

The beach was just wonderful. The sand as white as snow and the water was shimmering turquoise. You’ve gripped a towel before leaving the bedroom and laid it into the sand to lay down on it. Tom went directly into the water. He dived in and when he came to the surface you saw the droplets running down his face. His hair sticking to his forehead, which absolutely looked stunning.

You couldn’t look away and when Tom caught you staring he came outside the water and towards you. “You enjoying yourself, darling?” He asked and you simply nodded and asked him if he could put sunscreen on your back. Tom kneed down next to you and started to apply sunscreen on your back. His soft skin rubbing gentle circles on your skin, which let you moan. Tom started to giggle and finished with the sunscreen. “I’ve got a surprise for you later the day, darling,” he said and went back into the salty water.

Later that day you joined Tom in the water and you had a lot of fun together and you still couldn’t believe that he finally was your husband. You cuddled in the sun and spoilt each other with kisses and touches. You even watched the sunset together and then it was time to go back inside. You were already pretty tired but you blamed it on your Jetlag.

Tom placed your hand in his and pulled you upstairs into the bedroom with him, “ready for your surprise, darling?” he asked and you just nodded. He gripped your ways, lifted you and threw you into the sheets. In the next moment, Tom was hovering over you and spoilt you with kisses all-around your neck and collarbone.

His lips were really soft that they felt like silk on your skin. He then started to suck on the thin skin at your neck and left a pulsating purple spot. He continued to suck all-around your neck until you were covered in multiple hickies. Every time Tom started to suck on a new spot, let a moan escape your mouth, which sounded like music to his ears.

He eventually stopped with covering you in hickies and opened the bow on the back of your bikini top to slide it off of your body. Now were your naked breasts fully exposed to him and when Tom looked down to your naked breast he started to smile and attached his lips to one of your nipples and started to suck on it. The other breast got massaged by his hand and more moans started to leave the pretty mouth of yours.

While Tom was sucking on your nipple you ran your fingers through his now dry hair and pulled at it, so he had to moan too. At the first tug, he let out a quiet moan, which sends a shiver down your body and it made you even more aroused than you already were.

Your hands slid from his hair to his neck and to his shoulders, where you left some slight scratch marks. Tom popped his mouth from your nipple and started to suck on the other one. “Tommy, yes! So good” you moaned and that’s when Tom lucked up at you “oh is that so, darling?” he grinned and placed a lustful kiss on your lips and he grabbed one of your breast, which let you moan again. Tom took the opportunity and slipped his tongue inside your mouth and kissed young with a lot of passion.

You kissed him back with the same amount of passion and told him how much you needed him right now. Tom grinned at your words and kissed down your body until he reached the waistband of your bikini bottom. He pressed a last kiss to pelvis before he tugged your bikini bottom and pulled him off. Now you were fully exposed to him and he still had his swim shorts on, but you could clearly see his bulge.

Tom looked at you for another second, then pressed a loving, wet kiss against your bare pussy, “so wet for me already, darling” he said and licked a long strip through your folds and you let out a pornographic moan at his action. “Your Fingers! Use your fingers, Tom!” You didn’t have to ask twice because he immediately replaced his tongue with his finger and slipped it inside your core. “So wet for me!”

He quickly added a second finger and started to suck on your clit, which made you see stars and you could already feel your first high for the night approaches. He slid his finger in and out of you in a ravish pace “Tom, I’m close” you moaned and t Tom went even faster with his fingers. you felt your lower stomach tighten and that when you cummed all over his fingers.

Tom pulled his fingers out of your dripping core and licked his fingers in front of your eyes clean. You watched him while sucking on his fingers while you came down from your high. When your breath started to get normal again you sat up and placed a sweet kiss on his lips. You could taste yourself on his mouth and it immediately turned you on again. You grabbed toms shoulders and pushed him down on the bed, looking at the tent that was forming at his lower half. You kissed his lips again and then discarded his pants.

His cock sprung free and hit his lower stomach immediately, precum on his tip. You liked your lips and placed both your hands just above his dick. “Y/n please!” he said and you chuckled a bit “use your words, pretty boy,” you said and waited for him to talk.

“Touch me y/n! Please! I’m begging you!” he said and you couldn’t say no to him now. You stripped with one of your fingers along his shaft and he let out a pornographic moan as you did before. You smiled at him and looked the whole time at him when you started to move your hand up and down his dick. Tom started to moan uncontrollably and you couldn’t stop grinning.

“Please use your pretty mouth of yours, love” he begged and that’s when you licked his tip and tasted his precum. Tom was aching for a release underneath you and begged you to suck him off. He begged so hard that you gave in and licked a long strip at his shaft before taking it in your mouth. You tried to take everything in but his dick was just too big to fit into your pretty mouth so you used your hand and gripped around the bottom of his cock.

You slowly started to bop your head up and down and swallowed everything you could fit. Tom moaned more and more and you knew he wouldn’t last long anymore, so you pulled away and pressed one last kiss to the tip of his dick before you pulled away.

Tom looked at you shocked “why did you stop?” he pouted and you placed a loving kiss on his lip, “I want you to cum inside of me” you said and he kissed you one last time and lined himself with your entrance. You looked one last time at him and smiled before you sank down on his cock. You both let out a loud moan at the same time.

“You’re so tight, love!” He said and waited for you to stretch out a bit before he started to move in and out of you. You both moaned in sync and you started to bounce faster on top of him. It didn’t take long and the both of you were almost reaching your high. “Yes, Tommy! I’m so close” you said and Tom decided to go even harder and faster. You felt your walls tighten and before you knew it, was your high approaching you already and you couldn’t push it back anymore.

“Cum for me, darling!” He said and that was enough to send you over the edge. You were cumming really hard and your walls tightened around toms cock and that was enough for him. He spilt his cum inside of you and you milked ever drop with your still pulsating walls out of him.

When you came down from your high, you slipped his dick out of your pussy and laid down next to you. Your and his cum leaking out of your pussy and Tom pushed his fingers one last time into you to pushed his cum back in until nothing wasn’t leaking out anymore, “I hope this was enough to make a baby” he said and you nodded.

This was the first round of many others. You did it in the bedroom, the living room, the shower and even the beach. No one could stop you and it was the best three weeks of your whole life.

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literaphobe · 4 years

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season three of she-ra rated by catradora content

the price of power: adora talks about how she thinks the others at the horde can change too and when u think about it in the “at this point in the story, she still hoped catra would change” way it’s like wow :’) we knew that but wow :’) it sucks tho that in this scenario she’s actually wondering specifically if shadow weaver can change, which :/ hm :/ bc shadow weaver sucks. adora really fucking called her out on her abuse tho which is so sexy, and yes that has nothing to do with catradora i just felt like i really wanted to mention it at least <3 shadow weaver is a loserrrr <3 but.... she does mention “catra betrayed me” which makes adora do her “oh, catra?👀” eyebrow raise. i swear she cannot keep a straight fucking face whenever someone mentions catra. it’s like. are you lgbt or something? :/ 2/10

huntara: no catra this episode, but adora’s reaction to huntara will forever go down as one of her stupidest gay moments. u think catra knew super huge buff ladies were adora’s type? how fucking funny would it be if catra thought she never stood a chance with adora not because of the internalized homophobia shadow weaver instilled in them but simply because she thought she was not tall and buff enough for adora’s taste. “adora doesn’t want me!!!!! not like i want her..... because i’m not swole😔” 0/10

once upon a time in the waste: very funny and sexy of catra 2 be like. hm. i was sent here to die. i have completely given up on my hopes and dreams. oh wait what did you say? she-ra?😏 and she was blonde?👀 she’s got a sword?😩 she was angry?😽 her name is adora?👅 and all of a sudden catra is like nope existential crisis over. i’m gay again. and also evil again. that mix culminates in her giving a sexy monologue. did you know that if you’re gay and evil you will give very sexy monologues? and also sword lesbians will fall in love with you despite your questionable morals? anyway, catra takes over the whole of the crimson waste. i won’t discuss how since technically it doesn’t involve catradora but it was really hot okay😔 also adora was being really hot and powerful and fearless (she did not even flinch as bats flew in her face. hello?) and Angery this ep but i will also not get into it😩 i will however remark upon how both catra and adora low key had meltdown monologues this ep, and it is :( but also hot and cool of them. now, i will move onto when they meet <3 catra starts slow clapping as her goons creep onto mara’s ship and poison dart the best friend squad. they only send three darts flying and the last one is blocked by huntara. we have to assume that catra only ordered her team to send three darts for huntara, bow, and glimmer, leaving adora for last because catra has to greet her with, and let’s say it all together—“hey, adora😼”. adora tries to make a run for her sword but catra uses her new sexy cool whip to take it away. “i think this might be the quickest i ever won a fight. always so dramatic with you, isn’t it, adora?” adora tells huntara to save bow and glimmer first, leaving adora as catra’s only prisoner. 👀👀👀👀 soon after, everyone is celebrating, and catra sits in the big chair on mara’s ship like it’s a throne, casually draped over with adora’s sword in her hand, the long blade just resting between her legs. and. hooooooooooooooo boooooooooooooiiiiii. let me just. let me just have a second over here okay folks? this is all very hard for my sexuality to take. i don’t think u all realize how hard it is to make these evaluations. every day i have a breakdown over how hot one of them is. it’s one thing to just watch the show but every time something gay happens (so like, every five seconds) i gotta pause it and take notes (by take notes i really mean start ranting about it like this) and then i gotta like rewind it and shit to double check and i have to force myself to just be repeatedly subjected to the gayness. starting to get a little homophobic tbh! okay back to the show. catra is so fucking sweet and makes everyone cheer scorpia on too. she breaks out into this beautiful giggle. oh my god her laugh. bitches falling for this catgirl left and right smh. catra grabs scorpia’s claw and drags her away from the party. we also find out this is when catra learns about what a party is. remember how adora didn’t know what a party was either? :( damn. they deserve to have absolute ragers ok. catra starts talking about how valued and cool she will be when they go back and show hordak the sword, etc, and scorpia is like. but what if we didn’t do that. what if we just stayed here and had a gay life. a good honest gay life filled with sick parties and gang leading. and catra is like oh right.... u have a point..... i do hate the horde...... wonder why that is.... and then scorpia makes a fatal mistake. she says “forget adora!” which is about the dumbest thing you can tell a self destructive catgirl who’s been in love with adora her whole life but also kinda resents her atm. and catra is like perhaps i don’t want to forget adora. did u consider that scorpia? did you not think about how i crave her lips upon my mouth every night? fuck u im gonna go uh... find adora n maybe tie her up even more idk >:( catra goes to “check on the prisoner”, according to her own words. what does that mean, catra. like what. ur gonna go see if adora wants some tea? something 2 eat?👅 someone to kiss? Fkskdjdjdj adora is obviously struggling against her restraints and trying to break free, and the second she sees her she goes “catra, you can’t do this! >:(“ and catra is like “well, hello to you, too.” because MANNERS, adora, like god damn it catra always puts in the tender loving care and effort to greet you and you can’t even say hello? :( catra dismisses the goon who was previously guarding adora, because when you.... talk to your..... best friend turned enemy who’s now your prisoner. ur gonna want some privacy ya know😌😩👀😔 anyway catra is like ok.... once again.... y can’t i do this. and adora is like more horde army might come in!!! which. adora baby i love you but maybe don’t make that the thesis statement of your sales pitch? to the person who was second in command at the horde?? not to nitpick but if i were u i would’ve just said “noooooo don’t open a portal that might destroy reality ur so sexy ahaha” OR “if u give me back my sword and decide NOT to rip apart the fabric of this dimension i’ll kiss you on the mouth❤️” i know that u think ur feelings are one sided and that catra isn’t in love with you and that you can’t seduce her to the bright side💔 but u actually could have 💔 fkdkdjdjdj moving on.... catra says “never a dull moment with you❤️” which is weirdly so romantic. like yeah they’re enemies but catra gets bored when adora isn’t around. life is always exciting when adora is there, in catra’s eyes :’( like damn bitch if you like her so much why don’t you just marry her haha. please? <3 adora continues to explain that we will ALL lose if hordak opens a portal, light hope and mara said that opening a portal will endanger everyone!! and catra says the funniest thing. “you’ll listen to anything weird old holograms tell you, won’t you? you should really try to get over that. :/“ LFKDKFKDKFKFKFJ GIRL YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS BEING THIS FUNNY. but then adora says the wrong thing :( she brought up you know who and said “shadow weaver told me” and catra.... :( she’s like. how did. she tell you. and adora’s voice goes soft and it’s like “you didn’t know?” because from what she knows catra is allegedly the one who betrayed shadow weaver, not the other way around. and catra grabs adora by the collar and pulls her in and adora gets this gasp and. let me just scream for five minutes. okay. i’m back. so. catra pulls her in and she’s like HOW. and adora just very slowly and cautiously tells her the truth. that shadow weaver is in bright moon. and :( catra :( she lets go of adora and comes to this. very destructive realization that shadow weaver “left her” for adora and that all the pain she’s felt is all Because Of Adora. that, just by being adora, everything, all the happiness that catra could have had, has been taken away. which she is wrong about but that’s what she thinks :( and adora realizes that this is. not good. and she gently goes “catra?” because the look on her face must be worrying to adora, and catra starts to walk away and adora desperately calls out to her. “catra, please, you have to listen!” but...... it’s too late :( and catra is enveloped by the darkness. 9/10 for the collar grabbing shit and just the inherent gayness of their connection and interactions but also this is all so sad bros :( my bros are all devastated

moment of truth: catra walks back into the horde with her arm around adora’s shoulder. hm! Hm! HM! really doesn’t feel like she needs to do that! but she’s doing it anyway! later on, entrapta and adora are alone and talking. “catra would say anything to get whatever she wants.” true, but also not true, adora. she wants to be your gf, but has she said anything about it? no :/ that’s in like 2 seasons. and you were literally about to die so she low key had nothing to gain. so :/ think carefully next time. fjsjfjsjdjdjd entrapta pulls out the funniest cutest bar graphs of data, and there’s like four categories and for some reason catra has low scores for the first three but a really high score for the last one? i desperately want to know what that is. adora says “look, i understand. catra was my friend, too.” and she casts her eyes to the side when she says this. as if.... that statement is a lot more loaded than it seems. because yes catra was adora’s friend. but also wasn’t she, at the same time, so much more than that? yes <3 it was because they were best friends <3 gal pals <3 “but she makes bad decisions. this is one of them.” :( yeah i mean what am i supposed to do. disagree with that? it’s so wild to think about how even through all of this adora never hated catra. arguably, she never stopped loving her either. which. sigh😔 pour one out boys we are yearning tonight! entrapta leaves the room, asking adora if she’ll try to escape. and adora is like “no?👀” which is irrelevant but also really funny. another irrelevant thing i want to bring up is catra when she’s losing in a fight against shadow weaver. “so, what? you’re on the side of good now? you made me this way, and you get to be the good guy?” bro. fucking.... bro. catra’s lines istg.... also her being able to take on gang leaders and princesses and take those people down easily but to lose so quickly to shadow weaver... y’all know what that is right :( sigh. wait. i’m not done let’s sit very sadly on this next line for a bit. “do you know what happened to me after you escaped? do you even care?” i’m gonna cry okay. right. back to catradora. catra is. really unhinged and devastated and destructive right now :( and so she marches into entrapta’s lab and demands that they fire up the portal machine. entrapta says they can’t, because “adora was right” and immediately that sets catra off. she gives this barely restrained chuckle and is like “adora is right.....” and she’s just. having a full on breakdown. she’s just filled with so much anger and resentment.... i can’t even joke and call it a hate boner man, and that sucks because i would love to call it a hate boner :( “adora gets EVERYTHING she wants” no catra, you are wrong. she wants you. she does not have you. case closed. adora has literally only truly wanted one thing in her life, and she does not have it because you won’t give it to her 😔 in conclusion, adora p much never gets what she wants :( why don’t you go over and hug her and then maybe you’ll calm down. i know it’s more complicated than that but still😔 anyway, catra is very determined to not let adora win, so in order to beat adora, she decides they have to open the portal no matter what, because that’s the one thing adora seems to not want right now. some very not chill stuff happens, and catra runs into hordak’s lab and demands that he opens the portal. she lies to hordak and says “oh you can’t trust anyone, especially a PRINCESS” and she turns over to glare pointedly at adora. which is. SUCH a bitter ex thing to do. “they’ll just use you to get what they want” CATRA SHE LOVES YOU :( SHES IN LOVE WITH YOU SHE ONLY EVER WANTED TO BE WITH YOU :( and also she was raised to think she only had worth if she did what others expected of her and that everyone’s happiness and safety was somehow her responsibility. and that it would be better for her to die than for others to get hurt. she was never trying to use you :( you were the only thing that ever made her selfish :( bow, glimmer, and shadow weaver run in and fight with hordak and catra, and catra realizes she has to pull the lever now or it’ll be too late. adora desperately yells “catra, please, don’t!” and catra looks at her for a last time, evil smirking before she does it. roll credits. 8.5/10

remember: oh, we’re really in it now huh :( we hear the last lines from catra and adora from the last episode, and i think this is a part of adora’s dream. she is woken up by catra gently saying her name <3 then by catra a little bit angrily saying her name fjsjdjdjd adora wakes up with a shock and catra is sitting on top of her. HHHHHH. okay. adora shoves catra off and catra is like ???? damn what usually u pull me closer and hug me when i wake u up😔😔 wtf. but catra grabs adora’s wrists to calm her down anyway and gives her this pretty reassuring look, and she jokes “heh, since when do you sleep in? u usually wake up early to flirt with me!” as we all know adora gets nightmares even from her days in the horde so catra just treats this as normal and tries to make adora feel better as usual. ground her and say lighthearted things to make adora remember that she is safe. i mean technically the universe is collapsing in on itself rn so making adora feel safe isn’t the Best thing to do but catra also thinks the fake reality IS reality atm so that’s not her fault <3 adora is confused about how she got “here” and catra finds this strange because adora is in her room! she has her own room now, because she’s force captain! which makes u wonder whether catra and adora would sleep in the same bed if adora was force captain. would catra creep in and sleep in her bed still? would they lock the door and cuddle? oh well! guess we’ll never know! they... are so soft here, just smiling at each other, catra worried about adora, adora smiling back and deciding to just dismiss what happened as a weird dream. “there was something i needed to fix...” “of course you dream about work. there’s nothing to fix adora. everything’s perfect.” hhhh i know everyone in the fake reality thinks Everything’s Perfect too but can we just be gay for a second and think about how a perfect life for catra is just... to be with adora. can we just chomp down on that meaty thought for a sec? :( ok anyway, catra puts her hand on adora’s shoulder and adora smiles and is like wow ur right :) this does feel pretty perfect i mean catra and i are in bed together what could be so wrong💞😜😘👅😎😩 catra pulls adora up to her feet and says “come on, get up” and adora is perfectly happy to just chase after catra. it’s so fucking unfortunate tho that she decides at the last second to pick her ugly ass jacket up. like baby, no. u look perfectly hot as is in that white top. but she needs the jacket to see her force captain badge so she can get Visions or whatever. like goddamn i know the world was collapsing in on itself but imagine if shadow weaver had never been like abusive and the horde was just some chill ass ugly hangout spot instead of a fascist regime. catra and adora really could’ve just been happy huh? :( anyway catra gets kinda annoyed that her gf is not chasing after her any more and instead putting on her ugly ass jacket and looking at it in the mirror. so she’s like “adora! :(“ and adora goes running. she always comes when catra calls for her😌😌😌😌 and then the opening credits play, giving me whiplash. wow that was such a gay fucking cold open. adora walks side by side with catra and is a little weirded out by all the people saluting her and shit. and she’s like lmao wtf what are they all looking at and catra is like u u beautiful idiot. ur hot, and also the invasion of thaymor that u led went perfectly❤️ ur the hero of the hour i’m so proud of you babe❤️ catra is just a proud happy gf who smiles so beautifully and adora is getting more Visions and Flashbacks. but catra is so hot when she’s proud of her that adora decides that she’s gonna be like YEAH OMG I DID THAT WAR CRIME RIGHTS <3 and salutes people like a fucking idiot. and catra does the whole flirty “oh please, you couldn’t have done it without me ;)” bit and wraps her gay arm around gay adora who looks like she’s in heaven, hilariously pushing adora down a bit because catra is SHORT FJSJDJDJD and adora is like “rightttt ;) what would i ever do without you ;)” and man to be a horde soldier witnessing their flirting. i would start yelling slurs at them immediately. adora elbows catra with her arm and they both laugh, but the force causes catra to bump into a horde soldier. and the soldier makes the fatal mistake of reacting normally and being like HEY WATCH WHERE YOU’RE GOING TWERP and catra is not amused. adora puts her hands on her hips, glaring at the soldier, and he immediately gets so fucking scared. and the soldier is like UHUHUH FORCE CAPTAIN I DIDN’T KNOW YOU WERE— I’M SO SORRY. didn’t know she was what? DIDN’T KNOW SHE WAS WHAT???? gay????? banging this angry catgirl????? in the middle of flirting with her??????? WHAT DOES IT MEAN. what does it ALL mean?????? and adora is just like YEAH U BETTER BE >:( disMISSED >:( like fucking WHAT?????? yeah how dare u get mad at my gf for bumping into you. it is YOUR fault for existing while we were roughhousing as part of a very intricate ritual. u ruined the FLOW of our flirting u jackass. u fucking bitch. now we gotta start all over again :( and then like the soldier leaves while v terrified and keeps bowing at them and catra and adora just bursts out laughing at each other. they’re that lesbian couple who will bully u in school and feel zero remorse for it. that is so fucking sexy. i wish that were me. catra proceeds to make fun of the soldier she bumped into and didn’t even apologize to all “oh, force captain, don’t hurt me! UHAHASHUAH” and adora plays along with the re-enactment by posing and acting tough. catra really do be flexing her privilege as gf of everyone’s boss huh. she’s that secretary who WILL spit in your coffee and kick you in the shin all because the CEO is in love with her and they’re like slamming ass. catra is like. just straight up rubbing it in everyone’s faces that she’s untouchable because adora is in love with her. that’s just. that’s just greaaat. they both start laughing again at their own jokes. and yeah they’re both pretty funny people but like ok lesbians. have fun being happy or whatever. catra is like “too good” and adora is like hehehe baby!!!! where are we going again and catra is like to the locker room!! there’s something i wanna show you😘😘😘 because you know they’re in love. them just walking down a corridor together feels like a straight up date. adora thinks they’re taking The Long Way instead of this shortcut she knows with a side door but that door is gone and suddenly this throws Doubt again. and i guess that door got swallowed up by the reality-collapsing portal but damn adora :/ what’s wrong with taking the long way? :/ too good to spend some quality time w ur gf? :/ JFJSJDJ anyway catra is like what? no this way is the right way :) the scene can be read as cute gfs who argue about directions even tho it’s just a walk to the locker room ❤️ i wouldn’t say it’s the right way to read the scene bc the point is that parts of reality as adora knows it is disappearing but shhh. i am gay <3 catra immediately starts worrying about adora again and she’s like DO U HAVE A CONCUSSION :( and like grabs adora’s face which is so cute. she also accidentally shoves adora towards her chest so adora has No Choice but to stare :) good for you adora “i know you get hit on the head a lot” JFKSKDKSJDJD man but catra gf goals tho :( get u a girl who will check if u have a concussion because you get hit on the head a lot, most of it accidents 😩😩😩 “but i figured your dumb little hair poof would cushion the blow” HDHJSSHAHSHSHSH GET YOU A GIRLFRIEND WHO WILL LOVE YOU EVEN THO UR HAIR POOF IS DUMB😳😳😳 adora is a tiny bit >:( about being roasted for her hair choices and also a bit >:) because catra touched her and she’s like LMAOOO IM ALL CHILL M8 😩👌🏻💅🏻😎 “don’t make me kick your butt” as she shoves catra. wow adora! watch where you’re putting your hands! jk i know i know :) you simply have no choice because the only place to shove someone is to push their tiddies :) i understand and approve :) catra responds to adora’s threats with “pft ;) as if you could” which is just yet another invitation for them to “fight” :). u know how i feel about catradora and their roughhousing? it’s like. u know how people talk about men fighting each other as an excuse to touch? i feel like catradora said yeah that’s ours now. and they’re right. it’s theirs. they literally. they fucking giggle and shit as they start shoving and hitting each other all the way to the locker room. and lonnie is like SURPRISE and adora’s reaction is so funny she legit looks like she got mad p*ssy blocked and she’s like the FUCK. and catra isn’t as mad bc she kind of like planned this cute like i love you adora❤️ surprise party. because it’s a surprise party! for adora! adora is like damn whats this?? grey ration bar cake w my face drawn on it? also from the looks of the drawing i feel like catra definitely drew it. isn’t that so fucking cute. adora hugs lonnie (yay) and kyle (what the fuck gross???) and she’s like u guys 😩😩😩u got the gray kind.... that’s way better than the brown kind.... lonnie is like “hey, it was catra’s idea!” implying that catra definitely specifically told them to make the cake out of the gray ration bars, not the brown ones. and adora. let’s all take a deep breath. she goes. “oh yeah? ;)” in the most. insufferably flirty way ever. like in that Wow This Was All You Huh ;) way, with her stupid hands on her stupid hips giving catra this 😏😏😏😏😏😏 look. and catra is like ;) casually leaning against the wall, her arms all crossed. it is interesting to note that adora keeps putting her hands on her hips and catra keeps crossing her arms. i think that’s really cute. catra says “eh, whatever, don’t make a big deal about it” but it is a big deal catra. u don’t just plan cute surprise parties for anyone. and the fact that this is YOU we’re talking about? for catra planning a thoughtful surprise party catered to adora’s tastes all because she’s proud of her accomplishments..... is on par with proposing marriage. adora won’t let catra live this down tho. “wow, i can’t believe you like me ;) that is so embarrassing for you!” and she grabs catra for head scratches. catra giggles and pushes against adora saying “stop it😳😳(no don’t stop bro don’t stop😩😩) get off 🙄🙄 (wait actually don’t get off😩😩) this is not 😡 because i like you😳😳(it’s because i love you💞)” and she shoves adora off only to IMMEDIATELY pounce on adora, making adora laugh so fucking happily. kyle is secretly a lesbophobe tho so when he sees this gay display he’s like WUUUUOHOH I DROP CAKE :( and we get this VERY quick frame of catra and adora with their fingers interlocked before they pull apart at the crash and look at kyle. that is so fucking rude of u kyle. we could’ve gotten a few more seconds of catra and adora interlacing their fingers but NO. fuck u. thankfully, the euphoria of being gay is still burning strong for catra and adora, so they laugh happily instead of beating the shit out of kyle. how sweet <3 adora sees the word MARA in one of the cake pieces, and she’s very thrown off right before catra holds her shoulder and is like “hang on, you got something right... THERE!” and she like throws grey bar sludge into adora’s face ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜 u know? how you pal around with your gals? adora rubs the grey cake stuff off her face, and then.... ugh i don’t even wanna say her name. we were all having such a good gay time :( [redacted] walks in and tells adora to get off the floor, and tells catra to get herself cleaned up. and [redacted] tells adora to come with her. adora gazes gayly upon catra’s face who gives her a reassuring smile that tells adora she’s okay, so adora runs along. catra looks lovingly at adora while she walks away. shadow weaver praises adora’s successful war crime and adora is like i couldn’t have done it without the others aka catra <3 and in this fake reality she succeeded in persuading shadow weaver to let catra come with her! adora goes to the force captain briefing and gets roasted by scorpia because scorpia is still like. jealous of adora because you know..... you know how you hate the person your crush is in love with? yeah <3 adora freaks out because the universe is falling apart and she keeps getting visions from her real life. and then catra appears, and all the weirdness stops for a moment. i think it is so interesting how the world starts falling apart faster when catra isn’t there, but when catra is there things in the fake reality start to look and feel a little more normal. it’s like.... catra and adora’s connection is so strong that when they’re together... they can stabilize the collapse of a reality. just for a little while. just to have a little more time together. their gay levels are THAT strong. they’re like level 5000 lesbians. and they just keep leveling up as the show goes on which is why by s5 they can defeat an intergalactic conquerer just by making out LMAOOOOO anyway. catra is very worried about her wife. she’s all “adora, what is wrong?” yeah she’s so worried she doesn’t even use a contraction. adora takes out the slip of paper and shows it to catra. “did you write this?????” and catra looks at it and is like “did i write a blank piece of paper? i’m gonna go with no.” which. KFKDKFKDKFKDKFFJ BROOOO WHY IS THAT SO FUNNY. it’s like not supposed to be funny because adora is having a meltdown but it’s so fucking funny i—moving on. adora starts properly freaking out and catra is like hey :( u ok omg :( calm down :( and she puts her hand on adora’s shoulder but adora swats it away like I CAN’T CALM DOWN :( and she starts rambling and referencing stuff that happened and this vision of catra betraying adora in promise shows up (i think it’s catra’s memory?????) and catra slaps adora. which. HEY :( but also it’s like very funny. and adora is like ow :( what was that? :( and catra is like sowwy!!!! :( u were freaking out!!!! and it was freaking me out!!!!! :( and adora is like well u didn’t have to Slap Me :(((((( and is like why would my evil catgirl gf do this. have i not loved her enough :( is this the thanks i get for loving her with my entire heart :( and catra grabs her arm and is like come on!!!! let’s get you outside!!!! you need some air :) and oh. oh man. oh to have my hand/arm lovingly held by a girl as she giggles and excitedly drags me somewhere. the fucking dream. adora protests against getting air which (??????) u don’t want air? but u need air? to breathe? i know adora is just trying to say she doesn’t need to like go to her and catra’s secret place at the highest edge of the horde but then oh guess what? she’s there with catra. and adora is like how did we get here.... and catra looks depressed because her gf is losing it and that’s so sad 😔 she’s like how did we get here? we climbed up :( like we always do :( or am i the only one who remembers that :( and adora is like idk what’s happening to me :( it’s like i’m losing my mind..... and catra is like you just need to relax <3 by hanging out with me <3 and adora is like ur probs right :( am fine :( everything fine :( and she gets this glimpse of catra and catra smiling evilly at her but catra gets up and is like huh! ofc im right! Everything’s Perfect! soon, the two of us are gonna be ruling etheria together, just like we always planned 😺😸😹😻😼😽😾🙀 and quietly, adora goes “is that what you really want? to rule the world?” and catra gets this UHHHHH look akin to when someone asks u “hey, do you like apples? or are you just gay for me?” and you gotta awkwardly answer “what.... nooooo..... i’m not gay i fucking love apples” and so catra gets the exact face that expresses this sentiment and she’s like “i mean, yeah, obviously. isn’t that what you want too?” and it’s like UGHHHH because clearly neither of them want to rule the world! ruling the world was just an excuse for catra to be with adora, and when adora inevitably says “hey maybe we shouldn’t rule the world” catra will take it to mean “i don’t want to be with you” instead of “ruling the world is bad” and it’s just. it really tears me the fuck up bros! when catra says don’t you want to rule the world too? she really means don’t you want to be with me? and it’s just. HHHHHHHHH. i can NOT. i have had it up to HERE. adora says “i don’t know (re ruling the world lmao i went on a tangent earlier)” and catra is like “don’t flake out on me now!” like ruling the world is meeting up for lunch and suddenly adora texted at 11:30 am that she’s not really feeling up to it today :/ “this is what we always wanted”, catra continues to say, and we all know that “this” is..... the freedom to be with each other, without everything else getting in the way. “everything will be perfect as long as we stay together”. and she is right about that. but also catra’s current definition of them “staying together” isn’t right. adora and catra were always supposed to meet halfway. they will both have to grow to do that. but let’s not get 2 deep😩 i am here to have meltdowns and make gay jokes only😌 and then adora says “what if we don’t stay together? what if it all goes wrong?” which is like. damn that’s the show right there KFKSJDJSJDJ and adora sees lightning again and she gets upset because why can’t catra see the reality-cracking lightning too!!!! why can’t catra see the light!!!!! why can’t she see that she should be doing good things and not evil things!!!!! why can’t she see that she should be coming with me, running away with me, being with me in a place that’s safe!!!!! and catra grabs her hand and is like “adora!!! stay with me, okay? :( you’re just seeing things. it’s all in your head” and it is all so terribly tragic and sad. ah, the age old argument. come with me, stay with me. i will be whispering this in decades’ time, spreading gay tales to my loved ones. after this, lonnie is calling for adora and catra. “thought we’d find you up there” FJSJDJSJDJD the way it’s just like an open secret that catra and adora are gay and have a gay hangout spot where they do gay things. incredible. adora finds out an entire week has passed all of a sudden and she grips her head in frustration and catra is like adora? :( and holds her in concern. and adora is like ranting about how there’s something wrong with space and time!! and catra is just freaked out and begging her to stop because adora please! please stop finding the destruction of reality weird and hold my hand! i haven’t been happy since the day you left! and.... hoo okay sadness. catra’s holding her arm and adora’s like we’re not supposed to be here!!! catra holds her upper arms and goes “adora, everything’s okay!” and adora snaps and tells her to stop saying that! because this isn’t right! because she will lose everything, including catra, if she does not fix this. “everyone keeps telling me everything is perfect but it’s not! everyone except... scorpia” so she runs away to find her and catra is like adora!!! adora, where are you going? please don’t go. don’t go where i can’t follow😔😔 but adora is gone. we get this whole thing with scorpia and adora and adora is straight up just so petty. about scorpia hating her. which mood because i want everyone to like me. all the time. but also adora in scorpia’s defense she has a crush on a certain catgirl who will Not Shut Up about you :/ adora gets flashbacks about catra and realizes that the girl she’s been inappropriately touching for the past.... day? is the one who did the thing that is destroying reality❤️ LMAOOOOO this would be like... hm actually not many situations available to describe this. except. have you been flirting with the thing that’s been trying to kill us? have you been in love with the thing that’s been trying to kill us? yeah stuff like that <3 “catra did this. she captured me, she took... the sword. she activated the portal!” LFKSKDKSKDKDK you know what? this would be 58384848484 times funnier if they had canonically banged during the fake reality before adora realized the world as they all knew it was about to end <3 and you know what? they did bone. but it was cut for time <3 KFKDKDKDK JKJK god i need to like shut up for once in my life. but if i did that, these evaluations which no one asked for would not exist❤️ adora loses scorpia and razz (temporarily) and lonnie and she finds catra again! even tho she now remembers that catra kidnapped her and took her sword and used it for the portal and activated her portal.... she immediately grabs catra and pulls her along with her. despite knowing all that..... for the moment she is acting on instinct and doesn’t care. she just wants to keep catra with her and keep catra safe because the portal is swallowing up so many people and she cannot lose catra. adora drags her to this weapons closet that closes behind them and catra, instead of kissing her in this enclosed space (WIMP), shakes her and is like hey! you’ve officially lost it, haven’t you? and adora is like listen, we have to go. now! scorpia, lonnie, kyle, rogelio, they’re all gone! but catra is like what are you talking about? who’s gone? and adora’s all they’re gone. there’s nothing left. and we’ll be next if we don’t get out of here right now. and she’s so firm about it putting her entire foot down because No. not catra. she Cannot lose her. but catra is so stuck in wanting some part of all this to be real that she’s arguing with adora that she’s not making sense and Everything Is Fine. and adora goes “don’t say it’s Perfect. i know it’s not perfect and so do you!” because... she just knows catra that well. and she knows catra is smart enough to see what’s going on if scorpia did that too. catra’s choosing to repress it all, but adora’s words snap catra into memory for a moment, and she remembers it, maybe even remembers it all, and i think.... it all just hurts too much and she’d rather not be in that reality so she acts like she doesn’t know a thing and tells adora she’s not going anywhere. frustrated because she can’t convince catra, adora picks up one of the stun barons and... tases catra KFKSKDKDKDKSKDK and i can’t help but think of when catra tased adora back in sword part 2 (1x02) and man that is not good but also so funny that they’ve both tased each other. there’s this desperation there in both instances that we should definitely not romanticize at all but they just. deep down they will just do close to anything to keep the other with them. and it is messed up! and i’m glad that a little ways down the road they unlearn this but also.... wow. adora catches catra tenderly in her arms as she slumps against her, literally fucking BRIDAL CARRYING catra out and running away from the crumbling horde. literally IMAGINE IF LIKE. catra did not wake up and fight with adora. imagine if catra had stayed passed out longer and adora had fixed the portal without anyone getting left behind. and catra was still unconscious and she like walks out of the portal back into where they all were with catra in her arms like that. just like hey i fixed the portal :) all of us nearly died and it was kind of partially this catgirl’s fault but i’m like low key desperately in love with her so can we keep her? lmao :-) anyway. adora steals a skiff again (lmao first ep throw back! remember their date) and flies her and catra out of the crumbling world. catra wakes up, watching adora’s determined face as she flies them out and catra’s like WAIT WTF DIDN’T U TASE ME and is like hypocritically fighting adora trying to grab the stun baton. bad idea! adora’s DRIVING you don’t attack the driver!! but catra does not often make good decisions </3 the skiff crashes and they both fall off. they get up, look at each other angrily and run after the stun baton. catra grabs it first but adora hits it out of her hand and grapples catra who continues to keep reaching for the weapon. “catra, you can’t. we need to get as far from the fright zone as possible or we’ll be completely erased along with everything else.” “you think you can convince me by kidnapping me?” well no but goddamn the world is COLLAPSING catra PLEASE :( also is the power of love not enough? catra she loves you she’s in love with you she would pull you from the depths of hell even if you threw everyone in there in the first place!!!!!! that’s how deep this runs because that’s not even a metaphor adora has identified you as the main party who brought upon this reality ripping portal and still!!! she wants you saved. is that not fucking hot? :/ is that not sexy enough for you? :/ KFKSKDKSKDK jkjk okay catra continues with “what is wrong with you?!” and throws adora over her shoulder. not to like. ruin a very heated and serious moment in the show. but catra throwing adora like it’s nothing is like... very strong..... and when you remember how adora likes strong girls........ KFKDKDKDKDKDKDJ adora b like ow that hurts 😔 u free next friday? 😳 catra goes up to the stun baton again and adora kicks it away. “i won’t leave you behind again.” “why can’t you just stay? we have everything we ever wanted.” BITCH THE WORLD IS COLLAPSING IN ON ITSELF. THERE’S A PORTAL EATING UP REALITY. STAY WHERE? “it’s not real, catra.” YES. save the world first, and then after this you can play rock paper scissors and the loser will go with the winner❤️ wouldn’t it be so funny if they did that. if they decided to leave it up to chance. if adora was like well the horde is evil but if you beat me in rock paper scissors i guess i will follow you wherever you go. and then they like fix the portal and everyone is like yay hey adora lets go back to bright moon! and she’s like yeah uh i gotta hash out this situation with my gf real quick uh just a little heads up i might be bringing the horde’s best strategist and leader over to our side OR i might be fighting for the bad people again :/ so wish me luck and everyone just had to stand there and watch as adora and catra held their hands out and went ROCK PAPER SCISSORS SHOOT anyway. “as much as i wish that things could be simple the way they used to be, there’s no going back.” and she holds catra gently and in many ways i think she’s sort of acknowledging that she really, really just wants that light hearted playful dynamic with catra back. they both just experienced it again. they both just threw themselves back into it again. and adora really wants to be happy with catra, she would stay with catra if she could, but she has overwhelming responsibilities and an overwhelming sense of responsibility that was instilled in her from a young age. and she thinks she shouldn’t get to choose her happiness, to put herself first. also like. THE HORDE IS EVIL DJSJDJSNDNSJS like. that’s a really important part too. it’s kind of hard for catra to distinguish that though because she’s had very. evil things done to her all her life. and she held on for so long because she thought adora would always be there with her but then adora walks away and makes it seem like. it could have been that easy. but it can’t have been that easy because if it was so easy why did catra have to suffer so much for? also adora didn’t run away to save catra. she had this destiny thrust upon her, and she chose to leave the horde before inviting catra along, which is not wrong of her at all, but it inevitably made catra feel like an afterthought. and now... things are kind of damaged. and catra just wants to run if adora won’t stay, so she shoves adora and takes off and adora lunges after her, tackling her, and adora decides to confront catra about the big elephant in the room, the thing she’s not said a thing about to catra until now when they’re fighting because she was so desperate to save catra before. “why did you do it?” “i don’t know what you’re talking about!” which is a lie but now that she really gets to see the consequences of her rage and anguish filled actions, i don’t think catra can properly explain it either. she was just so angry and she had built this narrative in her head that it was adora’s fault, and so she just wanted to do everything that adora didn’t want her to do. except u failed catra😔 adora wants you to love her and you do, you do love her😔 oopsie😔 you just don’t show it in healthy ways most of the time because your relationship is fraught with tragedy and abusive upbringings💔 adora gives up questioning catra for the moment because “there’s no time. we have to go.” catra grunts as adora’s childhood promise plays in her mind and it is overlaid with the adora of the present telling her “i promise, everything will be okay if we just stay together.” and goddamn adora really means it. she’s literally willing to patch everything up together even after everything if catra will just Decide right here, right now, to go with her. right then, the memory of adora first asking catra to come with her plays and adora is asking her, “help me fix this, please, this can’t be what you wanted” because adora knows! she knows how caught up catra was, in her pain and anger and desperation to win, to overcome all the times she lost growing up. she believed that catra, with her loving heart that saved adora everyday they knew each other growing up, could not have wanted to erase all of reality. to erase what they had. but just because adora knows that doesn’t mean catra does. all the rage and pain and resentment that led to her opening the portal, it is still there, and it is still affecting her judgement in a bad way, and by reminding her that she cannot just repress it all, that she cannot just play pretend with adora until their time is up,,,, this leads her to lash out again :( :( :( “don’t you get it? i am never going to go with you.” i wanna be like sad but also this bitch straight up LYING remember that other time she said “don’t you get it?” remember what came after that? so maybe catra in this moment is too angry and consumed by self hatred, too proud to admit she wants adora when she thinks adora doesn’t want her the way she wants her.... but “never”? lmaooooo ok :/ catra evil gay laughs and goes “you always have to go and ruin it, don’t you?” ruin what???? the illusion????? the pretenses you work so hard to keep to cover up how deep the feelings you both have run??? catra lunges for adora and fights with her, scratching and missing because adora is dodging and catra’s heart is too.... sigh..... she’s too fucking gay to really bring it ok? no matter how angry she is she still loves adora too much to give it her best. adora doesn’t fight back, mostly defending and pushing catra away. “catra, look what’s happening. you’re going to destroy everything!” catra stomped on her heart and she still wants to Convince her, which is really sad, for now, for both of them. and catra goes feral and is like “i don’t care! i won’t let you win. i’d rather see the whole world end than let that happen.” :( bro? this song is so sad. can we change it? sigh. catra is too far gone at the moment. everything, even the slightest concession to adora, even at the expense of existence, is like admitting defeat to catra. and when catra says she’d rather see the whole world end than let adora win, she’s also saying she’d let herself... die. and that is just so sad. bro who gave season three the right. like... i am so exhausted. i am just trying to call some bitches out for being gay, i did not sign up for all this pain. i am so exhausted. this episode is twenty odd minutes or so. you know how many hours i’ve spent writing this? it’s not anyone’s fault but mine for being extra, but man i am so tired. i love seeing catradora interact, but god, at what cost? the portal rips up the ground between them, and catra grabs at adora, clutching onto her badge. i cannot tell if she was just trying to take it off or she wanted to grab adora and pull her close too. “catra, no!” adora grabs catra’s wrist but the badge falls off and catra falls too. “catra!” catra is on some rock in the falling heap, and adora reaches for her but she’s too far away. still, she keeps her hand outstretched. but catra, who’s hanging on by a rock at this point, gives her this look of... almost helplessness. that then hardens into resentment and anger and she just. lets go. and adora, who has tears in her eyes, is just. she absolutely crumbles here. and she runs a good distance away and falls to her knees and just starts SOBBING. she is just crying so hard over losing catra AGAIN and it’s just. That’s Too Much, Man! thankfully, razz shows up and is like stop crying bitch u can still save her ❤️ so adora decides to stop crying for all time and gets to work❤️ 10/10 but also did i ask? :/ yes i did and i am in so much pain right now. my god what an episode

the portal: it’s so fucking refreshing not seeing catradora for a bit <3 i spent hours watching remember ok. here i am now starting the last ep at least a full week later because of how much it was. sometimes this show is too gay <3 i love it tho! i do <3 it’s just hard having to pause and replay every five seconds and write an essay about the tiniest thing <3 and i know what you’re thinking <3 no one asked me to do this <3 no one asked me to be so extra <3 and yet <3 anyway, more than half of the ep passes with adora losing bow and glimmer in the end, but as she’s crying on her knees again she lifts her head up and corrupted!catra touches her forehead with one finger. oh <3 that’s gay <3 anyway, catra’s here because she died but she’s got like nine lives so she’s back now and infected by the collapsing portal. oh great! we get what is probably the most cursed ḩ̵͕̺̯͚̞͈̰̤͎̥̗̳͂̽̃̄͌̎̅̈́̏̎͘͝͝ẻ̷̅̒͝��͇͚͈̤̪̖̜̥̥̱̼͗y̴̥̺̓͌͊͌̊͒͌̏̔̕͝ ̶̧̟̤̠̯̱̳͕̙̯̔ͅá̶̤͉͕̱̰̮̺̮̝̗̱̲͓̺̯̒͐͐d̵̨̟̖̦̈̑̄̌̍̆̀̾̊̑̽͗͝͠ȏ̷̧̢̨̞̮͇̟̘̘̠̼̊͆̐̉̉̀̌̿̚ͅŗ̴̢̬͚͉̦̘̪̜̥̑̔̈́̀̒͂͗͜͠ͅą̸̡̡͕͈͚͕̼͔̳͔̖̙̯̱̓͗̊́. the look on adora’s face when she’s greeted with this is very interesting. she gives catra this little once over. on one hand, catra isn’t gone like adora thought when she had lost her into the collapsing portal, but also something about this catra definitely doesn’t look right. catra then proceeds to slam adora into another dimension. flat against the bar table in the crimson waste... and ngl it looks like. catra slammed her on the table for :/ stuff :/ that’s like :/ you know :/ banging :/ and adora even looks around for a moment because catra isn’t there and adora’s thinking damn where u at catra? :/ so you didn’t slam me against this table for... no? :( we aren’t gonna slam ass? :( but then surprise surprise! catra straddles her at the last moment! adora gasps and catra is like oh... where are your friends? in that unsettling corrupted tone. notice how adora has been silent this entire time. so horny you couldn’t speak bitch? :/ sadly, catra lunges for adora and adora realizes that catra is still evil and that she isn’t going to kiss her gently on the lips after all 😔 adora grabs catra by the arm and pulls her close. she puts her other hand on catra’s shoulder. adora baby.... you don’t need to touch her with both hands. are you that gay? yes. why am i even asking that question. “catra, stop. you have to–“ catra pushes her face aside. “it’s always the same with you, adora. i have to do this, oh we have to do that!” and then they’re like gay struggling against each other? and catra pulls adora up and holds her tight against her, adora’s arm bent over catra’s shoulder to keep her there. then with her other arm she wraps her elbow around adora’s other arm to further restrain her? and then she puts her face right against adora’s cheek. i don’t know how to explain this. it’s just. homoerotic. damn the gays fight like this? catra then tosses adora aside and they land somewhere else. catra says like things to adora that are about her insecurities and stuff. but i’m not gonna get into those <3 isn’t that so sexy of me? instead i will say this. catra kind of like fights one sidedly with adora a lot in this segment where they go through various locations we’ve seen in the show, and she like talks a lot of shit. but let’s focus on how adora’s feeling <3 she goes through it like this. 1) not horny anymore! i’m scared/insecure/angry with catra now 2) catra throws adora into the big chair on mara’s ship and catra slams her hand against it next to adora’s face like how someone might do before you kiss them in movies 3) horny again 4) catra doesn’t say sorry for the mean things corrupted her said and she didn’t kiss her gently on the lips so adora gets her shit together and realizes all the things evil corrupted catra is saying is not her fault! she pushes catra away and is like “i didn’t make you pull the switch. i didn’t make you do anything! i didn’t break the world, but i am gonna fix it. and you? you made your choice. now live with it!” and in between all that she fights back against catra and at the end she does you know that punch we all know about. but after the punch she calms down from that emotional breakthrough high and gets this :( face. at the end of the day... no matter how far gone catra went, no matter how right she was in setting those boundaries and making it clear catra has to be responsible for her actions, adora cares. adora loves her, it’s the one thing she can’t help. and to see catra sink so deep into the darkness... it hurts her. adora watches catra disintegrate when they fall into the wormhole thing that the portal caused, and she has this like. >:( :( look because adora’s planning to fix everything anyway, the upsetting thing here for her is that she failed to make catra see sense. catra’s likely going back to the horde when all of this is over and there’s nothing adora can do about it. and at the moment i don’t think adora wants to try anymore after failing so many times... which is good for her! but also they are both going to be so sad after this </3 after the whole angella scene (miss that milf) adora gets the sword back and becomes she ra again. we go back to the scene in the horde and catra clutches the side of her face, so we know that was her but it also wasn’t Her, you know? like part of her face got corrupted by the portal and she just had to make sure she was real and whole again. adora comes back as she-ra and destroys the portal, prompting catra to escape. but she looks back at the last moment, looks back angrily, and adora gives her an equally hard stare. she’s done with catra, for the moment, and catra realizes this, and it kind of hits her that this adora is different now. and for a moment she is sad and afraid, but she pulls it together to make a mean face again, before running away. 9/10

#text #she ra #catradora #spop #this is so long i hate myself #please like this and find it funny #also feel free to discuss any of the concepts or scenarios or things or whatever i brought up in here #we are on catradora s3 evaluation lockdown!#also yes i started using emojis here which i did not use for s1 and s2 #have fun reading!#please rb this

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