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heroinejinx · 1 year

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‘You don’t know her.’ - Advices and Vices, part 5 of ? (CaitJinx Modern AU)

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Caitlyn’s POV after her night with Jinx, and the months leading up to the party...

She blames the gin, I blame the ADHD & Autism ravaging my life lol enjoy

TW: drinking, vague drug & trauma reference, Jayce being a prick

(6,019 words)

Jinx’s last words lingered in Caitlyn’s mind. She replayed the scene in that bed over and over and over.

I’m bad enough for you already.

Bad? In what sense?

Did Jinx feel like a bad person because of her past?

Caitlyn didn’t know the full story, but from what Vi told her, Jinx led a far darker life beyond the foster home than either of them could’ve fathomed. Vi had Vander, a gruff man-giant with the squishy insides of a teddy bear. But Jinx? Jinx had Silco, Zaun’s most infamous Chembaron, a man with the face and killer instinct of a rabid shark. He plucked her out from obscurity and made her his daughter. His Jinx.

What kinds of things did he enlist her to do? Had she acted willingly, or did he coerce her? Caitlyn didn’t dare speculate.

Either way, Jinx must’ve harboured guilt for her part in his business. All those lives, young and old, lost. Ravaged by shimmer and the gang warfare involved in producing and selling it. Years later, some parts of Zaun still hadn’t recovered, and nor had Jinx.

That same protective impulse Caitlyn felt in the corridor of Jinx’s apartment building swelled in her gut. Made her queasy with concern. She hated Silco.

But Jinx knew Caitlyn didn’t hold her past against her, right? For all their spats and bad blood, Jinx had to know.

If not the past, what else could Jinx have meant to shield her from? Had she forgotten something, some vital piece of evidence?

Just go… Go home, Cait.

What made Jinx so determined to push her away? The potential fallout of Vi finding out? They’d covered that; they could both keep a secret. What other reason was there?

Entitled. Jinx said it with conviction, intended to harm. Demanding an apology was entitled of you.

It felt like a blade aimed straight at Caitlyn’s throat, forcing her to scrutinise herself.

Was she entitled? Probably, in some respects, given her background. But expecting an apology for being tossed aside was no act of entitlement. Caitlyn knew her worth. That didn’t make her entitled.

Then there were her own indecipherable words. Things said she didn’t mean.

I don’t care.

A blatant lie woven from her pain. She’d intended harm, too. Neither of them was innocent in this.

I’m done.

Done? With what? Had they started something?

Maybe…

Maybe Jinx just didn’t like her. Maybe the night they’d shared was just sex, fuelled by alcohol and familiar, flirtatious contempt. Once it ended, Jinx wanted nothing more to do with her. And why would she? They had nothing more to offer each other than their bodies.

***

Weeks without answers turned into months. Four months, one week and two days.

Between nonstop work and restless nights, she met with Jayce for a drink at one of their favourite bars in the heart of Piltover. Anything to distract her from the dull, disconcerting itch of missing Jinx.

Craving someone she had once barely tolerated was a new brand of torture. Add her bitter confusion about how things ended to the mix, and well, Caitlyn wasn’t having a fun time.

Jayce was chipper, as usual. Painfully so. But he did most of the talking and had agreed to foot the bill. Could’ve been worse.

She quelled the constant ache in her chest with a stream of gin and tonics, as he droned on about the last couple of months of his life. He’d secured funding from the council for his tech company’s latest project. A venture into prosthetic limbs which Caitlyn understood very little of, despite Jayce’s thorough and frequent explanations.

Science had never been her thing; more of an English and History kind of person. Tangible lived experiences and the heart of the human condition spoke to her far more than statistics and hypotheses ever could. She had some basic forensic knowledge needed for her work, but that was it.

What would Jinx make of Jayce and Viktor’s work? Would she find it interesting? Ground-breaking? Would she and Viktor squabble over the best methods for maximum results? She’d certainly understand it all a heck of a lot better than Caitlyn.

Anyway, she’d strayed off topic. Blame the gin.

When Jayce found out about the funding, Viktor kissed him on the cheek right there in the lab in front of Skye and their other assistants. A rare, sweet moment of PDA amidst all the excitement. Jayce relished in that part of the story, skimmed over the funding just so he could tell her that his extremely private boyfriend had kissed him at work.

It was cute and it pissed her off. She loved Jayce and Viktor, but she didn’t want to hear a single word about how happy they were together. Not after… everything.

‘Come on, Jayce,’ she half-teased, half-reprimanded. ‘This is a new level of gloating, even for you.’

‘I’m not gloating,’ Jayce denied with a small grin. ‘Just sharing my news with my best friend.’

‘Oh, please.’

They went on like that for a while. Jayce sharing, then over-sharing as the alcohol hit, while Caitlyn nodded along with a drink in her hand, mocking him at regular intervals. It was nice. Quality friendship time.

The evening dwindled, they said their goodbyes and parted ways, and she was alone. Again.

Would she spend every night alone? Would she ever meet someone who made her as insufferable as Jayce and Viktor were together?

***

Jinx’s bed. Blue hair cascading like a waterfall. Smoke trails etched into biteable skin. Hands and tongue dragging out shrill, melodic moans.

The loud vibrations of her phone receiving a text.

Oh, wait, that was real.

She groaned, desperate to return to the world behind her eyes.

Her phone screen’s harsh light made her squint. She dimmed the brightness all the way down and read the message. From Vi, of all people.

If the universe had any respect for Caitlyn at all, Vi had finally signed those divorce papers.

She read on:

Hey, Cait. Sorry I’ve been a dick. If you’ve got a spare hour today, could we meet? Or if you’re at work, name a time and place and I’m there, okay? I’ve signed the papers and I’d like to meet in person to give them to you.

And again, I’m sorry.

Caitlyn read the message a few more times. She couldn’t believe it. Those words had really been sent. From Vi. To Caitlyn.

It all read true to form, apart from the apology. And the name. Ten months since they separated, and a part of Caitlyn still expected Vi to call her Cupcake. How stupid was that?

She didn’t want to meet on such short notice, but she had no choice. Vi was like a wild horse; couldn’t risk spooking her.

She replied:

Thank you, Vi. I know it takes a lot for you to say sorry, so I appreciate it. I’m due at the station today, but we can do lunch if you’d like.

Her response might have erred on the side of passive aggressive, but it was the kindest she could muster.

***

Lunch was… an experience.

Vi showed up late, hungover, and with another woman. Her girlfriend. Seraphine, or Serrie, had hair the colour of Pepto-Bismol and the face of a doe with no survival instinct, traipsing carefree through a forest in the middle of hunting season. Most egregious of all, they were smitten with each other. They called each other babe and hun and cutie and couldn’t stop touching. Hands, shoulders, knees beneath the table; it was all up for grabs.

Caitlyn seethed, picking at the Caesar salad she’d ordered before they arrived, while they perused the menu. She had twenty minutes before she had to go back to work, and they were acting like they were on fucking holiday.

Any sane, rational person would’ve ditched, left them with the bill, and demanded to meet Vi alone some other time. Instead, she dug her heels in. Literally dug the heels of her boots into the restaurant’s carpet.

‘You used to get the burger,’ she snapped. ‘Just get the bloody burger, Vi.’

‘Burger?’ Seraphine winced. It was the first thing she’d said since Vi had introduced her. ‘As in beef?’

‘Oh, yeah,’ Vi glanced up from the menu with an amused grunt. ‘Serrie’s vegan.’

‘Vegan?’ Caitlyn didn’t mean to sound derisive, but the idea of Vi dating a vegan when she ate approximately six chickens a day was beyond a joke.

‘Since she was nine. Huh, babe?’ Vi channelled all her warmth and affection into a killer grin, only this time Caitlyn wasn’t the target.

Rightly or wrongly, it bothered her. The whole scenario bothered her. After years of Vi putting her first, she’d been demoted to third wheel. The divorce was her own doing, but it chafed.

Seraphine blushed at the attention. Nodded right on cue.

Must’ve felt strange for her, sat across the table from Vi’s soon-to-be ex-wife. Although, she didn’t have to be there, did she? She certainly wasn’t supposed to be.

‘Sorry, um…’ Caitlyn cleared her throat, preparing for the impact of her question. ‘Vi, I have to ask. Why isn’t it just the two of us today?’

Vi and Seraphine gave each other a look, fleeting but wholly revealing; the look of two people teetering on the cusp of something life-changing and impulsive. Their faces bloomed with the same joy and subdued, mind-numbing terror she’d worn the first time she shot a gun.

Naturally, she scanned their fingers for signs of an engagement ring. Both sets of hands were under the table, out of sight.

Interrogation, or flat-out denial? Which tactic would she employ?

‘Never mind; Seraphine’s more than welcome, of course,’ she said. The coward's route, but also the quickest way out of there. ‘Vi, did you bring the papers?’

‘Sure did.’ Vi withdrew a large white envelope from her backpack. ‘Signed and fricking sealed.’

She squeezed Seraphine’s forearm with unabashed glee, eliciting a shy giggle. Never did learn the art of discretion, that one. It felt like they wanted Caitlyn to ask. Just ask.

‘Next stop: delivery,’ Vi confirmed. Nervously bit her lip.

‘Perfect,’ Caitlyn smiled but wanted to scowl.

She refused to ask them. If those two idiots were engaged with the ink still wet on the divorce, more fool them and she wished them well, but it had nothing to do with her. Nothing.

Vi raised an expectant brow, pushing Caitlyn closer and closer to breaking point.

‘Anyway…’ She scooped up the precious envelope and let out the fakest sigh she’d ever heard. ‘So sorry, but I’ve got to get back to work.’ Stood and flung her handbag over her shoulder. So close. The exit was so fucking close. ‘Lovely meeting you, Seraphine.’

‘Caitlyn, wait!’ Two steps towards the door were all it took for Vi to crumble. Her urgent tone told Caitlyn all she needed to know. ‘There’s something we need to tell you.’

Against her will, she turned back, and Seraphine revealed the diamond engagement ring on her finger.

***

‘Fucking hell.’ Caitlyn sighed into her wine, fogging up the glass. Downed the last few drops. ‘I think I’m still a bit in shock.’

She’d headed to Jayce and Viktor’s apartment in upper-west Piltover the second she clocked off, which was… a while ago. A quick catch-up in the kitchen spiralled into hours of venting. She never did this, but between the whole divorce debacle, the night spent with Jinx, and Vi’s abrupt engagement, she needed a friend.

‘Refill?’ Viktor offered, fresh bottle of Rosé in hand as he pre-emptively picked up her empty glass.

‘Amazing,’ she said. ‘Thank you.’

He poured until she gestured for him to stop, handed the glass back to her with a smile, then leant back on his crutches.

‘Maybe make that your last,’ Jayce hinted.

He had his back to them both while he chopped up a selection of vegetables for the coming days’ meal prep, ears pricked. Primed and ready to interject with the least helpful comment possible.

After almost two decades of friendship, she didn’t even have to look at him to see the smug expression on his face. He really thought he’d just told a joke.

‘This,’ she bit back, ‘from the man who can’t even remember last year’s Progress Day because he blacked out on Zaunian moonshine.’ Her next sip went down like a dream. Like victory.

‘She has a point.’ Viktor took her side over Jayce’s, like always.

‘If you say so,’ Jayce tutted. ‘I think she’s had enough, though.’

‘She?’ Caitlyn objected. ‘I’m right here.’

With a huff, Jayce turned to face her, hands on his hips like he was about to tell her off.

‘Sorry,’ he said, no ounce of remorse on display. ‘If I’m honest, I’m a little sick of tonight’s depression bingo, okay?’

‘Wow,’ she smarted. ‘Depression bingo? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?’

‘You’re struggling,’ Jayce said. ‘I get that. But sitting here complaining about it all won’t change anything, Cait. It’s just bumming us out.’

‘Jayce,’ Viktor chastised his boyfriend, employing a subtle yet damning head tilt. ‘Speak for yourself.’

‘I just…’ Jayce hung his head. ‘I like Vi, y’know? I’m happy for her. I think this engagement is good news.’

‘Now’s not the time to play devil’s advocate,’ Viktor warned. ‘Cait’s hurting. Let it be, for now.’

‘Thanks, Vik,’ she said, relieved that he had her back. ‘And Jayce, look, I am happy for her. Mostly. It just seems so quick. Can you imagine marrying someone you’ve known for such a short time? I don’t get it. What’s the rush? Why can’t they date for a while first? Properly get to know each other… Vi can be so reckless sometimes.’

‘Agreed,’ Jayce replied. ‘But if this is what she wants, we have to respect that. Vik?’

He gave a reluctant nod of agreement. ‘It’s not our business.’

‘Exactly.’ Jayce shot her a pointed glare. ‘Not our business.’

They were right, of course. It wasn’t their business. Still felt like Caitlyn’s, though. Like it was her responsibility to stop Vi from making a huge mistake. To protect. Out of love, or residual loyalty, or habit.

She wanted to call Vi up then and there and demand a thorough pros and cons list for the engagement. But she couldn’t. Dug her nails into her palms to suppress the urge. No matter how much it felt like a problem she needed to solve, it wasn’t her place. Caitlyn had no more business meddling in Vi’s life than Jayce or Viktor.

‘Fine,’ she conceded with a gulp. Stared down at the countertop to avoid their eyes.

‘But, uh, I don’t know, maybe…’ Viktor cheekily bobbed his head side to side and moved his hands to match, mimicking a pendulum weighing a decision.

‘What?’

‘I don’t think I want to say it,’ he teased.

‘Spit it out,’ Caitlyn demanded.

‘Yeah,’ Jayce agreed and swigged a mouthful of beer. ‘Can’t be worse than what I said.’

They both snickered at Jayce’s brief moment of self-awareness.

‘Okay,’ Viktor began. ‘Well, Cait, your love life isn’t our business either, so please, tell me to fuck off if you’d like.’

‘…but?’

‘But,’ he continued, ‘I was thinking that, uh, maybe now with the divorce signed off, Vi getting engaged, blah, blah, blah…’ There was that pendulum again, swinging off its axis. ‘Maybe, uh… maybe it’s time for you to dip your pretty toes in the pool again, huh?’

‘You think she’s ready?’ Jayce asked.

‘Think you could ask her that question?’ She snarked.

Sarcasm hid a multitude of sins. Primarily, the fact that she’d already entered the metaphorical pool for a swim. With Jinx.

She sipped more wine and hoped they wouldn’t notice how guilty she looked.

‘Oh, okay.’ Viktor narrowed his eyes, examining her. ‘So, you’ve dipped more than a toe.’

Shame cloyed at her throat. She drank more wine.

‘What?’ Jayce’s laughter echoed through the large kitchen. ‘And you didn’t tell us? Who is she?’

‘You don’t know her,’ she said.

Not a lie, per se. Jayce had met Jinx but only once or twice, always in passing, and she couldn’t think of a single instance with Viktor. Of course, there may have been times without her present, but that was unlikely. Vi inherited Jayce and Viktor’s friendship from Caitlyn. The three of them didn’t hang out unless she was involved. At least, not before the divorce. But after the divorce didn’t count because Jinx and Vi weren’t on speaking terms and—

God, she needed to stop overthinking. Her hook-up with her ex-wife’s sister remained secret. That was all that mattered.

‘I don’t know,’ Viktor teased. ‘You’re blushing.’ He flicked Jayce a grin. ‘Think we know her?’

‘You don’t,’ she insisted. ‘It’s just hot in here.’

‘Aircon’s on,’ Jayce said, deadpan.

‘Cait, y’know what,’ Viktor proffered. ‘Whoever it is, making you blush like that, I’m pleased for you.’

‘There’s honestly no one,’ she said, patience fraying at the seams. ‘Look, I… I had a one-night stand, okay?’

‘Wow!’ Jayce pounced. ‘Little Miss Commitment had a one-night stand!? Did you also get a lobotomy?’

‘Ignore the wind-up,’ Viktor said. ‘I’m… assuming you… enjoyed it? Just, uh, based on your expression.’

‘My expression?’ She fixed her eyes on Viktor, avoiding Jayce’s taunting grin in her periphery.

‘You blushed like you were… maybe reliving it a bit.’

‘Oh.’

She didn’t know what to say. Viktor was too astute and knew her too well. She couldn’t pretend with him.

‘You’re probably right,’ she admitted. ‘It was a great night.’

‘But…?’

‘But then it wasn’t.’

‘How so?’

She stared into her wine and shrugged. Her limbs drained of all energy, resting heavy where she stood. The urge to sleep crept upon her. She could’ve slumped onto the couch so easily. Or fled her friends altogether, fetched a cab home. Anything to stop talking about that fucking night.

‘You don’t have to tell us,’ Viktor comforted.

‘No, no, I’d like to know,’ Jayce said, baring his teeth like a mama bear about to defend her cubs. ‘Did this woman hurt you, Caitlyn? You know, Mel’s on the council and you’re an enforcer; nobody hurts you and gets away with it.’

‘For fuck sake, Jayce, no, nothing like that.’ Exhaustion cracked her voice. ‘Anyway, no matter what happens to me, please never include Mel fucking Medarda in your little revenge fantasy. I already have a mother who wishes that woman was her daughter; I don’t need her replacing me as your best friend, too.’

Jayce’s expression shifted back into mockery mode. Anger lurked behind his eyes, but he seemed convinced by her plea.

‘Aww, you think she hasn’t already?’ He joked. ‘How cute.’

‘Jayce.’ She tensed. ‘I swear, I will hurl this glass at your head.’

‘We have matching t-shirts and everything.’

‘Shut up.’

‘Okay, but seriously,’ he pressed. ‘Have you got a problem with Mel?’

‘I don’t know. I get a weird energy from her. And her politics are just—’

‘What?’ That rage of his flared up again, directed at her this time. ‘Idealistic? She’s advocating for peace, Cait.’

‘I know exactly what Mel’s advocating for,’ she said. ‘My problem is understanding why it matters to her. What’s her angle?’

‘Her angle? Is caring about the wellbeing of a city and its people not enough of an angle for you?’

‘Don’t get defensive, Jayce,’ she tutted, knowing full well it would rile him up further. ‘I’m just expressing my opinion.’

‘Your wrong opinion.’

‘Agree to disagree,’ she said, and turned to Viktor with a sigh. ‘More wine?’

‘In the fridge,’ Viktor said, frowning slightly. ‘You don’t like Mel, Cait?’ He looked sad, like a wounded puppy in one of those charity adverts. ‘Everyone likes Mel.’

‘Exactly.’ She sloped over to the fridge with a sneer. Fetched the wine and plonked it on the countertop. ‘Mel Medarda knows how to play people.’ She listened to the satisfying glug of the wine as it sloshed into the glass. ‘I guarantee she’s a complete cow beneath all those false smiles and promises of progress.’

‘Oh, you guarantee?’ Viktor gave a small, devious smile, like he was plotting something. ‘Because you know her so well?’

‘I’m allowed to not like the people you like,’ she said.

‘Sure,’ he said. ‘She likes you, though.’

‘…what?’

‘Yeah. She thinks you’re… What was it?’ Viktor cast his mind back. Tapped his glass to his chin, drumming the handle of his crutch with his spare hand. ‘Charming, and… Ah. Intriguing.’

‘She does? Why? We’ve barely said two words to each other.’

‘Might that be why?’

Viktor made a good point, but Caitlyn’s confusion deepened.

‘What’re you getting at here?’

‘Geez,’ Jayce shook his head in dismay. ‘For someone who graduated top of her class, you sure can be dense sometimes.’

‘What? What’re you both talking about?’

‘Mel likes you, Cait.’ He spoke in slow motion, enunciating each syllable. ‘And I don’t mean she wants to be friends.’

The mere suggestion nearly made her spit out her wine with a cackle. Mel wasn’t queer… was she? Caitlyn would’ve known. Would’ve sensed it somehow. Right!?

‘It’s true,’ Viktor stated. ‘She’s bisexual. Her and Shoola used to…’ He widened his eyes and raised his brow. ‘Oh, but that stays between us. She likes to be discreet.’

What? Mel Medarda had a sapphic affair with one of her fellow council members? Seriously?

‘Pah! As if!’

***

The following week, by some fluke, Mel Medarda joined the three of them for dinner. Slimy politician or not, she looked phenomenal. Her dark skin glowed in the candlelight as she glided into the restaurant. A cream satin slip dress skimmed her curves, offset by a delicate gold necklace and jet-black, flattering faux locs, interwoven with gold beads and rings. Caitlyn may not have liked Mel much as a person, but she couldn’t deny her striking beauty.

Trying not to stare, she peeled her eyes away. Met with Jayce and Viktor’s smug grins. Oh. The scheming couple had set them up. Treacherous bastards.

What did they think would happen? A few rounds of tequila shots and, hey presto, mutual lady lust? If Caitlyn didn’t like a woman, no matter how attractive they were, nothing would change her mind.

What happened with Jinx was a one-off.

Well, okay, it was more than that. A lot more. More than Caitlyn could afford to keep dwelling on.

Oh, for fuck sake. If she ended up sleeping with Mel in some pathetic attempt at getting over Jinx, Jayce and Viktor were dead men. She had training and access to firearms. They shouldn’t have messed with her.

‘Caitlyn,’ Mel chuckled in surprise as she took her seat at the table, directly opposite. ‘I wasn’t expecting you to be here.’ She eyed up the two men, suspicion afoot. ‘Looks like you both have some explaining to do.’

As if on cue, Jayce and Viktor laughed nervously.

‘Uh, well,’ Jayce began, ‘we didn’t think you’d agree to come if you knew—’

‘If I knew this was a double date?’ Mel beat him to the punch. ‘Don’t worry. I’ve had worse.’

To her credit, she seemed more amused than irritated. Caitlyn, meanwhile, couldn’t speak for fear of making a scene.

Being on the council, Mel had more experience with deception and poise, especially under the tutelage of Cassandra Kiramman. That woman hadn’t expressed a real emotion in at least fifteen years. Not since Caitlyn first raided her father’s secret stash of whisky and drunkenly confessed to liking women.

‘We figured you might like to get to know each other better,’ Viktor said, and shot Caitlyn a discreet, infuriating wink. ‘You’ve been vague acquaintances for… oh, how long?’

‘About five years now, right, Mel?’ Jayce played along. ‘Since you joined Cait’s mom on the council.’

They’d rehearsed this, hadn’t they?

‘Careful, Talis,’ Mel said. ‘You’ll make me feel old.’

‘Please,’ he scoffed. ‘Medardas don’t age. Just look at your mother.’

‘Ah, Ambessa,’ Viktor cut in. ‘How is she?’

Mel and Viktor, close friends that they apparently were, began chatting amongst themselves. Meanwhile, Caitlyn sulked. Yes, she was being rude, and no, she didn’t care.

God, her mother would’ve killed her. Good. If she died, she’d have a better evening.

How would Jinx act around someone like Mel…?

What would she think about Caitlyn on a double date? Would she feel jealous, or apathetic, like when Caitlyn stormed out of her apartment?

‘Cait,’ Jayce, sat next to her, elbowed her arm to get her attention. ‘Aren’t you going to say hi?’

Oh, he thought he was so bloody clever, didn’t he?

‘Wanker,’ she spoke under her breath for only him to hear.

He shook off the insult with a snicker and stretched an arm around her chair, leant in close to her ear.

‘Be nice,’ he whispered. ‘She likes you, remember.’

‘Doesn’t mean I have to like her back. And even if I did, how would that make it okay for you and Viktor to set up this… this pity date?’ She picked up her fork. Imagined stabbing him in the eye with it. ‘How tactful,’ she lamented. ‘Yes, pluck me a date from thin air, lest I remain single for a while. My knight in shining bloody armour. Whatever would I do without you?’

She realised after the fact that most of her little tirade came out full volume. Shit. Hopefully, Mel hadn’t heard.

‘Voice down,’ Jayce hissed.

Mel and Viktor’s conversation carried on without a hitch. Maybe the noise of the busy restaurant swallowed her words?

Or maybe not. On closer inspection, Mel’s smile drooped a little at the corners, while manicured fingers worried at the gold hoops threaded through her ears.

Guilt scorched Caitlyn’s cheeks. The last thing she wanted was for Mel to feel embarrassed. Jayce and Viktor had a lot to answer for. Her head spun with the ethics of it all.

She and Mel deserved better. They didn’t need this level of interference in their lives, especially not from a couple of well-intentioned, clueless men.

‘This isn’t a pity date,’ Jayce contrived. ‘Where did that idea even come from?’

‘Hmm, let’s see,’ she fumed, but kept her voice low so Mel couldn’t hear any further. ‘I’m thirty, single, and finalising a divorce to a woman who’s already engaged to someone else, like marriage is a game of bloody tag. That’s got pity written all over it.’

‘Cait,’ he softened. Gripped her hand in support. ‘Okay. I’m sorry. We obviously didn’t mean for you to interpret it that way. Vik and I thought this would be a fun night for you. No pity involved. I promise.’

‘…you do realise that apologising for how I’ve interpreted your actions isn’t an actual apology, right?’

‘Cait.’ His gentleness faded. ‘Come on. We’re all here to enjoy ourselves and you’re sulking like a moody teen.’

‘Funny,’ she spat. ‘I’m having a whale of a time.’

‘Wow. Your only child syndrome is shining tonight.’

‘Ditto.’

‘All I’m asking is that you stop being a brat for two minutes and give this date a chance. Mel’s great. You might have a good time.’

‘Maybe if you weren’t here bothering me, I would.’

‘Really? You’re that pissed off with us?’

‘Not at Viktor. Just you.’

‘What? Why? It was his idea as much as mine.’

‘So? He’s not the one badgering me about it.’

With a tut of disdain, Jayce pushed away from her and settled back into his corner of the table. Left to stew alone, she downed half her glass of wine in one.

Their frostiness finally drew Mel and Viktor’s attention. They stopped talking and looked straight at her. Jayce stared her down, too. There it was: scene, made.

‘Well…’ She attempted a smile. Tried to keep her hands and voice steady. ‘This is lovely. Not awkward at all.’

Across the table, Mel held herself in a fixed pose of grace and compassion. Straight spine; relaxed shoulders; hands neatly folded. Her eyes shone, alert and attentive, and a slight smile dimpled her cheeks.

Even under stress, the woman showed no flaws. They had to be there somewhere, lurking in the contours of her face, itching to reveal themselves. Caitlyn wanted to see. Just one, tiny defect to prove Mel was human. She didn’t ask for much.

‘Jayce? Viktor?’ Mel met Caitlyn’s eyes, then theirs. ‘Is what Caitlyn said true?’ Her rich brown irises blackened as her tone grew colder. ‘Is this a pity date?’

‘Uhhhhh…’ Viktor squinted and frowned like he’d just tasted something foul. ‘When did she say that?’

‘Just answer,’ Mel implored. ‘Be honest.’

‘Heh. Well. That’s not, uh… hmm… not how I’d put it…’

‘How would you put it?’ Caitlyn fired Viktor the most chilling glare in her arsenal.

‘Oh, come on,’ Jayce leapt to his boyfriend’s defence. ‘Pity has nothing to do with it.’

‘Nothing,’ Viktor reaffirmed. ‘We, uh… we spied an opportunity, that’s all.’

‘Makes you sound like crooks,’ Mel noted.

Caitlyn sniggered; she’d thought the same thing.

‘Well,’ Viktor sighed. ‘If we’re crooks, we… we broke the law in the name of finding love. Worth it, no?’

‘Nice try,’ Caitlyn scoffed. ‘But no.’

‘If I may?’ Mel kept her tone as measured as her body language. Looked each of them in the eye as she continued. ‘This is all far too messy for me. I don’t do complications, not when it comes to dating. Not anymore.’

Jayce and Viktor donned identical, knowing smiles. Whatever happened with Shoola must’ve done a number on her.

‘I think I’ll go; simplify things.’ Mel glanced back at Caitlyn. ‘If you could please keep this—whatever this was—to yourself, I’d be grateful. I like to keep my personal life personal. Especially with the council.’

A familiar fear distorted Mel’s features. Half a second and it disappeared, but Caitlyn knew it. She knew it like she knew her own name. Something she’d been born and raised with. Something she couldn’t escape from. That gnawing need to conform to the standards set out for her by family, society, everyone she met. The scalding terror of being her authentic self.

Mel Medarda was a professional, powerful woman, and she couldn’t risk jeopardising that for anything. Not even to live comfortably in her own skin. As a Kiramman, Caitlyn understood that conflict better than most.

In that moment, her perspective shifted. Fascinating, how one new piece of information about a person could alter her entire opinion of them.

‘Caitlyn?’ Anxiety bled through the cracks of Mel’s façade. ‘I need to know you won’t tell your mother about this.’

‘Don’t worry,’ she smiled in solidarity. ‘I won’t.’

Another shift occurred. She looked at Mel and didn’t want her to leave.

‘Stay?’ She asked. ‘Never mind the date thing. Stay. Have a drink. As friends?’

Mel tilted her head with a snicker; tempted.

‘You won’t regret it, Mel,’ Jayce piped up. That classic Talis smugness returned tenfold. ‘As crazy as it might sound, you two have a lot more in common than you think.’

‘We’re both mad at you right now,’ Caitlyn said. ‘Guess we must be soulmates. Are those wedding bells I hear? Maybe we can have a joint ceremony with Vi and Seraphine?’

‘Hilarious,’ Jayce grunted and slammed a fist into the table.

The cutlery on his and Caitlyn’s side of the table rattled. Viktor tried to withhold his amusement, but his eyes watered and bulged, fit to pop a blood vessel. Mel, however, didn’t hold back. She let out a glorious, wild, unfiltered laugh. Caitlyn followed her lead.

‘Oh, great,’ Jayce huffed. ‘So, you’re getting along at our expense now.’

‘At least they’re getting along,’ Viktor reasoned with him, and reached out across the table for his hand. Their fingers laced together. ‘Your round,’ he mouthed.

With the aura of a little boy being sent to sit on the naughty step, Jayce slouched over to the bar to order their second round of drinks. Caitlyn snickered as she watched him. Maybe that evening didn’t have to be a disaster after all?

Aside from her bisexuality, the first true, likeable thing Caitlyn learnt about Mel Medarda was her respect for people who spoke their minds and asserted themselves. She admired Caitlyn’s honesty about wanting friendship, even when it cost her comfort.

The second thing? Mel made Caitlyn laugh. As the wine flowed, her poised demeanour melted away to reveal an acerbic wit similar to Caitlyn’s own. Her wry jokes about the council, with all its prehistoric protocol and antiquated ideals, had Caitlyn in tears and nearly wetting herself.

And the third? Mel heard her. She focused on Caitlyn’s words rather than rushing to assumptions. Held Caitlyn’s hand when she stumbled onto a tangent about the stress of the divorce and her recent mental state.

There was so much more to Mel Medarda than her position on the council. Challenging and toxic relationships with mothers and lovers had profoundly affected both of them. They listened to each other. Related to each other. Comforted each other.

To Caitlyn’s disbelief, a true friendship bloomed. Mel’s company put her at ease in unexpected ways. So much so, she almost told her about Jinx.

Mel might’ve had some wisdom on the subject. Some words of advice to ease Caitlyn out of her slump. Her depression, as Jayce so lovingly put it. Mel could’ve listened and interpreted, relieved Caitlyn of the uncertainty and shame surrounding that night. Could’ve further dissected the situation and analysed the potential factors that led to Jinx’s shutdown. Could’ve helped Caitlyn understand.

She needed to understand.

In the end, as much as she wanted to, she didn’t mention it. Kept Jinx and those endless questions safely tucked away. It was a private pain, too intimate to share with anyone else.

Mel couldn’t have fixed it, anyway, but her company acted as a salve. A temporary relief.

After several hours of council gossip and skirting around the hole in Caitlyn’s heart, the four of them stepped out into the balmy summer night. Jayce and Viktor hailed a cab in a matter of seconds; a flagrant last-ditch attempt at kindling romance between the two women. As their taxi pulled away from the kerb, Caitlyn waved them off with a fake smile and flipped them her middle finger.

‘I’m this way,’ Mel said, leaning her head slightly left.

‘Oh, um…’ Caitlyn floundered.

What did Mel mean? Did she want Caitlyn to join her? What could she say to let her new friend down gently?

‘Caitlyn, I like you…’

Shit.

‘We’ve had a lovely evening,’ Mel continued with a fond, knowing smile.

Shit, shit, shit.

‘But let’s be honest…’

Oh, thank God.

‘We both know that this isn’t happening, don’t we?’

Thank fucking god.

‘Absolutely,’ Caitlyn agreed. ‘Yep. Yep, yep, yep. Not happening in the slightest.’ Guilt needled her ribs like a stitch after running too fast. ‘Sorry. I like you too, as a person, somehow, after getting to know you better. Just… not like that… But you won me over, Medarda. You’re surprisingly brilliant.’

‘Surprisingly brilliant?’ Mel narrowed her eyes in playful scrutiny. ‘Not sure why it’s such a surprise, but I’ll take it.’

‘You should.’ She raised her brows to sell the mock threat. ‘Now that we’re friends, that might be the last backwards compliment I ever give you.’

They shared one last giggle before making their separate ways home.

So, that was the real Mel Medarda? No wonder Jayce and Viktor liked her so much.

***

The following week, Vi and Seraphine invited her to their upcoming engagement party. Rather than outright reject the idea, Caitlyn listened. Reflected on it.

She disapproved of the union, but Vi’s invite was an olive branch. The brides-to-be promised a free bar and her choice of a plus-one. Jayce and Viktor were invited, too. Rude to say no.

She texted Mel that same day, asking if she would tag along as a friend, and they set the date.

Everything slotted into place.

***

Six months after their tryst, Jinx remained the only unknown variable in Caitlyn’s life.

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