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unofficialkfamtranscripts · 4 years

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King Falls AM - Episode Four: Wolves Gone Wild

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Summary: June 15, 2015 - With Sammy & Ben in contention over a forced apology regarding the Bass Tournament, a full moon causes all hell to break loose on the outskirts of King Falls.

[Podcast intro music]

[KFAM rock intro music]

Ben Top of the hour here on King Falls AM, that’s 660 on the AM dial. And we’re live here on this crisp, King Falls evening. It’s a full moon, and you know what that means, so be careful out there. It’s four AM, on the dot, and as per instructed by Merv, the station manager, who we will be—

Sammy [agitated] You’re really gonna play that.

Ben [sarcastically] Oh look who’s talking again, everybody! Sammy Stevens, ladies and gents.

Sammy Very funny, Ben. You know, we’ve played this apology enough. let’s just get back on track, how ‘bout it?

Ben Gotta do it.

[radio static as recording begins]

Sammy Hello, this is Sammy Stevens and I’m sitting here with Ben Arnold, your co-host of King Falls AM.

[record scratch]

Sammy No! We aren’t doing this, Ben.

Ben Sammy! I’m gonna have to file a report if we don’t play this apology at the top of every hour.

Sammy Write it up!

Ben I don’t want to!

Sammy Then don’t.

Ben Sammy— can we talk about this? Folks, uh, we’re just gonna take a quick break for—

Sammy No break, no apology, you wanna play that tape?

Ben No, but we have to!

Sammy Fine. You know what? We’ll do this one live, kids, and *angry laugh/huff* boy are you in for a treat.

Ben I don’t know, I—

Sammy [mildly outraged] So there’s a note, on the board, when we came in. We’re to record an apology to you, the dear listeners and residents of King Falls—

Ben Merv simply asked that we apologize for… creating a controversy at the 55th annual—

Sammy We talk about the news here. Relevant subjects that affect this town. What we don’t do- *angry laughing* What we would never do, is apologize for trying to cover a breaking news story! A dead body at a public event that King Falls AM is covering is News.

Ben Maybe Mayor Grisham went a little overboard kicking us out- I’m not saying he didn’t, but—

Sammy [outrage continues] If I owned this station! If I owned the station? I’d go after him. I mean, why isn’t Merv mad at Grisham. Why is this on us? [softer] Have you even met Merv, Ben?

Ben Yes— I mean… not in person, but— Look, we have a show to keep on track: in a few minutes we’ll be speaking with both of the winners of the 55th annual Bass Tournament—

Sammy How ‘bout this. How ‘bout we open up the phone lines and talk about how the good Mayor Grisham is strongarming the media—

[static]

Announcer This Sunday evening, at 7PM, we say goodbye to longtime host of King Falls Sewing Corner, Esther Rollens, the way she would’ve wanted us to.

Esther [old, wavering voice] Talkin’ about life, talkin’ about love, and crochetin’ a mean doily while we’re at it!

Announcer While we will all miss Esther’s sweet stitchery tips and needlepoint mastery, we’ll miss Esther even more.

Esther We’ll darn your socks, and maybe even darn your men to heck, while we’re at it.

Announcer We’ll reminisce and play clips from Sewing Corner’s illustrious twenty-four year run. As well as a live music tribute from Esther’s favourite band.

[heavy metal music] ♪WAKE UP. YOU’LL SEE.♪

Esther Ohh, I just love these boys! All possible states. [heavy metal music fades out] Always remember: bad times never last. But badasses certainly do! We’ll see you soon, King Falls!

Announcer Hopefully not too soon, Esther. 7PM, this Sunday. Help us say goodbye to King Falls’ most bitchin’ granny.

[heavy metal music resumes] ♪*SCREAMING* I WILL NEVER REESST. UNTIL I WALK IN THE SUNSET. BURN ME UP IN FLAAMES.♪

[heavy metal fades out]

Ben I didn’t cut you off, Sammy!

Sammy Real mature, Ben.

Ben You were looking right at me, I didn’t even touch the board! And you know Esther Rollens was slated for 4:32 AM! I’d never.

Sammy [sarcastically] Oh, oh, okay, it must’ve been General Abilene, right?

Ben You know he’s in Sweetzer Fore- Sheesh. Can’t you just take some calls? You’re killing me. Line 6!

Cecil Sheffield [Cecil’s voice is old and slurred] Benjamin Arnold! Mr. Sheffield here! Why’re you on- the radio?

Ben [muttered] Crap. Bass Tournament winners were scheduled for two minutes ago. I-I’m gonna call the other—

Sammy Oh! So we can talk about the tournament, we just can’t talk about the dead body.

Ben Sammy.

Sammy Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Mr. Cecil Sheffield to the show, uh, co-winner of the 55th annual King Falls Bass Tourney.

Ben It’s great to have you. Mr. Sheffield.

Cecil It’ss good to be taalkin’ to you fellas too! Benn, how’re yer grades holdin’ up this year?

Ben Uhh, I- *confused laugh* I- I graduated uh- already. Sev-several years ago—

Cecil No more late papers thiss semester, Mr. Arrnold.

Sammy Yeah, Ben! No more late papers!

Ben *deep breath* For those of you who don’t know: Mr. Sheffield was my history teacher at King Falls High School. [embarrassed and tense] Shouldn’t he be retired by now?

Cecil [singing] ♫Riiiiiising miidst the goooolden orrrange, graaandly iiin tooo th— bluuuee, reeeeeaches our dear aaaaalma maater—♫

Sammy *clapping sarcastically* There ya have it folks! Mr. Cecil Sheffield, winner of this year’s King Falls Idol.

Cecil Go Faaallls! I rreally lovve talkin’ t’ you guuys.

Ben [awkwardly] And we… love talking to you.

Sammy How ‘bout we talk about the big win at the tournament, huh? You split the grand prize, $500 and a bass boat, is that correct?

Cecil Ohh it was awwesome. Staandin’ up there at the podium with ma’ good friend Herrschel! I’m happy t’ shaare the prriize wi’ such a great man! I haven’ gotten a channce to uuse the new booat- uhh… yet—

Ben Aaand, we’ve got Herschel Baumgartner!

Sammy Sorry to cut you off, Cecil. Herschel, you’re live on King Fal-

Herschel [angry as always] You usurpin’, unsportsmanlike, son of a b[bleep]h filth! I know all you were colludin’ against me this year. It’s a conspiracy!

Sammy I’m sorry, what now, Mr. Baumgartner?

Herschel You know exactly what I’m talkin’ about, Big City.

Ben We actually don’t, Mr. Baumgartner.

Herschel Don’t mouth off to me, you conspirin’ little bag of d[bleep]ks!

Sammy Hey! Hey, hey, Herschel! No one is conspiring against anybody here! You should be happy right now, this is what, your fourth time winning the tournament? Granted, let’s be honest, a cadaver should probably give this one an asterisk.

Ben [eagerly] 1989,1992, and now back-to-back titles in 2014 and 2015. You’re the first ever to have four titles!

Herschel [hesitantly] W-wellll, when you put it like that, I guess. I never thought o’ it that way. I was just so red-faced about someone pokin’ a hole in the bottom of my boat right after I caught my last fish. Old Cecil wouldn’t’ve come close if some boobstain hadn’t’a messed with my damn boat!

Ben Kingsie got ya!

Herschel [mocking] It wasn’t Kingsie; that serpenty little b[bleep]h!

Cecil Iss that Herrschel? Hooww ya doin’ buddy? I’miss ya. Why dontcha answer when I calll?

Herschel [back to angry] Cecil! You cheatin’ dog pecker! I’d know-what-it was you who sunk my battleship! You couldn’t stand to have me win all by myself this year you limp-d[bleep]ked drunkard!

Ben Ooh-[worried]Haah! We’re gonna have to ask you. to watch your language. Mr. Baumgartner.

Herschel Now you listen here, you motherf[bleep]—

[dial tone]

Sammy Hello?

Ben Sorry Sammy. Merv’s already not happy, let’s not have the FCC[1]join him?

Sammy You know, you’re gettin’ real good with that dump button trigger finger tonight, Ben.

Ben I told you I didn’t dump you! Herschel, yes, but not you.

Sammy Y- *huff/laugh* You were so right about this full moon tonight, Ben.

Ben [mumbled] This is a nightmare.

Sammy [seriously] Hey. I’m sorry. Okay? I shouldn’t have gotten so fired up.

Ben You and Herschel both- You know how hard I work on this schedule? Don’t… puppy dog eye me, Sammy.

Sammy Hey, I’m just tryin’ to ice this apology cake, buddy.

Ben … 6:20, you buy me a stack of pancakes, at Rose’s Diner, and… we’ll call it even.

Sammy Sounds like a plan. So you’ve heard our story King Falls, now let’s hear—

Ben Good grief, we’ve got line 2, he’s in a panic.

Sammy Aren’t we all? You’re on the air with Sammy and Ben, what can we—

Line 2 [overly dramatic] No time for pleasantries- I need the law!

[small dogs barking in bg throughout call]

Ben Sir, uh, 911 is probably your best bet.

Sammy Or maybe tweet Troy and hashtag “KingFalls911” [half-muttered] I dunno.

Line 2 You silly Sallys. I’ve already called, the deputy is on the way. But I’m havin’ a terrible night, and I don’t appreciate the two of you makin’ it worse!

Ben Wait, is this- Archie Simmons?

Archie [sing-song] The one and onlyy.

Ben Is there something wrong out at the Pomchi Palace?

Sammy Pomchi? What the hell is a “pomchi”?

Archie Oh my gawd, read a book Sammy.

Ben It’s a dog— breed, half pomeranian, half chihuahua.

Sammy Oh! So Archie’s a professional dog breeder.

Archie Best bitches in the tri-state area!

Ben [flatly] That’s their motto.

Archie [softly aside, cooing] That’s a good baby, Daddy loves you! What’s that? That angry, mean werewolf violated you? Don’t you worry, Daddy will make. him. pay.

Sammy Did he just say “werewolf?”

Archie You betchyer bottom dollar I did!

Sammy Ben, I- I can’t.

Ben T-tell us what’s going on, Archie.

Archie Well, I live offa Route-72, damn near out of town. It’s usually nice and quiet [muttering](except for those damn trashy rednecks in their trailer park every damn Saturday night!)

Ben Buuut, tonight, it’s not nice and quiet?

Archie Hell no! I woke up to the most godawful squawlin’. I mean it sounded like a freight train hit a barrel a’ screamin’ billygoats. Half a step below a damn eight f[bleep] bottle rocket.

Ben That is vivid!

Sammy [being a smart-aleck] Dare I say, was it a half-man, half-wolf?

Ben [unimpressed] Good job, Sammy.

Sammy [quietly] Please don’t encourage this.

Archie It was so terrible a noise, I thought I might’a dreamed it. But then I heard it again!

Sammy Go on.

Archie So I threw on my slippers, and I went runnin’ towards the back of the house— an’ I’m scared, because I just paid— well, I paid a bundle for a couple’a these new pomchi bitches? So I’m worried that maybe Rufus (that’s my labradoodle)—

Sammy Labradoodl—?

Ben [quickly] Labrador-poodle mix.

Archie Damnit, Google it fellas and keep up. I’m worried that Rufus is maybe snuck in the backyard and roughed up the new pomchis? So I rushed toward the back and Rufus is in the Florida Room— just a-growlin’ mind you— so it wasn’t him. So I burst open the back door, and what do I see??

Ben What-ahh… wh-wh-what did you see?

Archie [increasingly distressed I see a half-man, half-dog, bent over hunchin’ the hell out of my twenty-four-hundred-dollar Princess Von Barktooth!

Ben Not Princess Von Barktooth!

Sammy Okay, so you run outside in your slippers, and you see some skeezy pervert, and he’s got your dog—

Archie In the biblical sense! But the maaan was A. Werewolf.

Sammy Are we really talkin’ about wolf-man werewolves, here? *laughs* I’m sorry Ben—

Archie You shouldn’ be sorryin’ to Beeen! He’s not the one who’s been sodomized by a damn man-wolf! And now I gotta stay up all night watchin’ the princess and dealin’ with the law! Lord knows I’m worried that this leads to long term emotional distress, or, worse. [distraught] An’ we can just throw out winnin’ the Westminster trophy!![2] That was not in our five year plAN!!!

Ben I have to. What- Was the five year plan?

Archie [soft and rushed] Princess Von Barktooth was supposed to fall in love with another purebred pomchi, who sweeps her off her feet, holds open all the doggy doors for her, shares all his treats. *giggles* [to the dog] Isn’t that right lil princess?

Sammy [derisively] This is just silly. I mean it was obviously just a creep with serious issues, not a mythical—

Archie Are you callin’ me a liar? I saw that abomination with my own two baby blues.

Ben S-Sammy likes to look at these paranormal events from all angles, Archie.

Archie Well the angle that I saw it at was a G-D crime against humanity and dogmanity alike! The beast man looked at me, evil in his eyes, and desire in his heart, tossed my princess like a ragdoll, howled at the moon like the wretched demon that he is and scampered off!!

Ben Ar-Archie have- have you had issues with the werewolves before?

Archie Oh-my-gosh, who hasn’t? Ol’ Dylan hillbilly Baxter used to pepper buckshot those chicken-thievin’ shapeshiftin’ sons-of-bitches!

Sammy Brass tacks[3] here; Is Princess Von Barktooth okay?

Archie Needless to saayy, we are more than a bit shaken by this turn of events.

Sammy Have you looked into silver bullets? eBay? Amazon Prime?

Archie You come out here the next full moon you sassy Sally and I’ll show you more werewolves than you can shake a d[bleep]k at… Aw, I just heard Deputy Troy pull up, I gotta go, boys. [click]

[dial tone]

Ben Th-thanks for letting all of us know that there’s been some activity on the wolf front, Archie.

Sam This is just too much. Look, stay safe, Archie, listening public. I’m not saying that there’s werewolves on the loose—

Ben There are.

Sammy *laugh/huff* Ben. Everyone stay safe. There’s definitely something in the air tonight.

Ben Oh no. Sammy *heavy breath* Can you take Line One?

Sammy Do I even want to ask?

Finn [panicked] Sammy?! Ben?! It’s bad! It’s real bad, y’ know?!

Sammy Are you alright, Finn?

Finn [still strained and panicked] I-I didn’t.. even see him comin’! Musta run head-long through the truck on my blind side!

Sammy Who did? What’s going on?

Ben Finn hit a dog, off Route 72.

Sammy You’re f[bleep]king kidding.

Finn [distraught, almost crying] This poor little guy! I feel so bad, y’know? [less scared, more nervous] Actually. He’s not that little.

Ben Finn, are you still in your truck?

Finn Oh yeah, but I stopped it when I hit the fella… I’ma shakin’ somethin’ awful here.

Sammy [“not” worried] I think you should start the truck up, and just keep on movin’.

Finn … I think he’s still alive! I’m goin’ out to do the right thing an’ check this out, Sammy.

Ben Sammy’s right. Keep—

Finn I’m outside the truck! Headin’ back towards the pooch!

Sammy Get back in the truck, Finn! [quietly aside] Uh, you know, because it could be a- a coyote or something, n-not a were- you know.

Finn Oh my. This poor fella don’t look too good. This looks— Whoa now!

Ben Move your maple lovin’ ass, Finn!

Finn It’s two-leg runnin’ at me boys! What the f[bleep]k!

Sammy Finn? Finn?!

[sounds of a struggle, garbled words, then howling]

[KFAM outro]

[CREDITS]

References

[1] FCC - The Federal Communications Commission is an independent agency of the United States government that regulates communications by radio, television, wire, satellite, and cable across the United States.

[2] Westminster trophy - The Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show is an all-breed conformation show that has been hosted in New York City annually since 1877.

[3] Brass tacks - n. details of immediate practical importance —usually used in the phrase “get down to brass tacks”

#king falls am #king falls #kfam #sammy stevens #ben arnold #kfam transcripts #kfam ep4 #cecil sheffield #archie simmons #finn the truck driver #herschel baumgartner

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writingpromptswithkate · 5 years

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Two Moons Are Better Than One

Part IV.

“Your neighborhood is so quiet,” Hannah remarked in a hushed voice as Nate pulled his truck into the driveway.

“It’s a little too quiet right now,” came Nate’s gruff reply.

Maybe he was just being paranoid. He was never home in the middle of the afternoon on a Thursday, maybe the level of quiet was normal. Maybe the terrier that barked all night was only able to do so because it slept through the day. That had to be it.

The power was out, he noticed immediately when he entered. Everything electrical has a hum: the fridge, the TV, the small orange nightlight plugged into the hall. It’s the kind of white noise thing nobody notices until one day it’s not there. Nate was acutely aware of the lack of it. No wonder the neighborhood felt too quiet.

He set Hannah in charge of the hall closet, where big Costco sized packs of paper towels and toilet paper rolls waited wrapped in plastic. It took her two fully loaded trips to get it all hauled into the bed of Nate’s truck.

Nate was making a rather more thorough tour of his house, hunting down blankets, camping gear, water bottles. He met Hannah in the kitchen. She had pulled in two coolers from the deck.

“I thought between your house and mine we could get these filled” she explained.

“Good idea. The cabinet to your left has nonperishables—grab that box of Ramen.”

“You need boiling water to make Ramen,” Hannah protested, but even as she said it Nate was pulling an electric kettle down from another cabinet.

“It’s for camping: electrical or battery. I know there’s bowls in the break room so no worries there...”

After the easy nonperishables they moved on to the produce. The vegetables would spoil quickly without power but fruit would hang on a few days either way.

“Do we have any idea what’s really going on?” Hannah muttered to herself over a small pile of apples.

“We really don’t.”

“All those people... Oh, Goddess.” Hannah sniffed and put her sleeve to her eye. She was not fully crying yet but she was close. “Do you think it has anything to do with that second moon?”

Nate shrugged. “I don’t see how it could. Yeah the extra light keeps me awake at night, but it’s not driving me that crazy. Not like... Robbie.”

At the mention of the name Hannah gave a loud dry sob. “Oh Robbie. That was awful.”

“He yelled at you and threatened to fire you,” Nate reminded her.

“Yeah but he didn’t deserve to die... You know? Back in the day? People used to think the moon caused madness. That’s why they called it lunacy, like lunar.”

“So twice the moons means twice the madness?”

Hannah flinched at his sharp tone, and he immediately felt ashamed of himself. He had to keep reminding himself that she was having an even worse day than he was. Speculating about the situation might not be helping, but snapping at someone who was already scared and upset was even less helpful.

“Sorry. It’s just, this Bird Box shit has me on edge.”

“Yeah. No, no worries,” Hannah mumbled. “Bird Box? You think it’s something like that? Monsters you can’t see until you can, or that manifest as your worst fear or whatever?”

Nate shrugged. “Honestly I have no idea. I don’t know if it’s the moon, or monsters, or a zombie apocalypse virus. I just know that people are dying and we have no idea what’s triggering it.”

“It seems like most of the people who’ve gone crazy so far did it while they were driving. But Robbie didn’t go anywhere today...?”

“We don’t know that. The people driving are just the ones who have caused damage, the ones people are tweeting about. Who knows how many more people are going crazy right now in their own homes?”

Hannah’s face turned grim. “We should hurry up and get to my folks.”

Nate could only agree. They threw the coolers into the back of his truck.

They tried to get the radio to work while Hannah directed the way to her house, but less than half of the usual stations were transmitting. Most of the ones that came through were in Spanish. The traffic advisory channel on AM came through, but there was nothing it could tell them that they could not observe with their own eyes.

Nate understood what Hannah meant by his neighborhood being quiet when he arrived at her house. Hannah and her family lived on the edge of a trailer park right off the highway; they would be subject to traffic and truck noise at any and all hours of the day.

Right now though, with the streets already clogged, with all the remaining traffic slowed down, and without the familiar hums of electricity, her neighborhood was also unnaturally quiet.

Or it was.

A gunshot sounded nearby. Right in front of them, actually. It came from Hannah’s house.

Stricken, Hannah fumbled for the door handle and practically fell out of the truck. She ran in a blind panic to her front door.

Nate was only a few steps behind her; he grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her back before she could touch the screen.

“Whoever. Is. In. There. Has. A. Gun.” He said each word deliberately. Hannah sobbed again.

“Mom. Dad,” she croaked pitifully. And Nate was not without pity. But he also could not let her run into danger blindly. It was a single-wide for God’s sake; where could she run? Where could she possibly hide?

An answering sob came from inside the house. It was, at first, inarticulate wailing. Like the cry of an inconsolable baby filtered through adult lungs. Gradually some words began to filter through the cries.

“Irene...” the voice cried out between blubbers.

Hannah began thrashing against Nate’s grip on her. “That’s my dad!” she screamed at him, just before breaking free and running into her house.

Nate hesitated for a second, torn between going after Hannah and protecting himself against being shot.

Hannah’s scream was the tie-breaker, and Nate tore after her without thinking.

Entering Hannah’s parents’ living room was like entering a labyrinth of dusty tchotchkes and brass picture frames that together covered so much of the walls you almost couldn’t tell what an unpleasantly dark, dated shade of fake wood paneling was under them. A kitchen to the right sported dark cabinets with brass hardware, and the trend continued down the hall to the left with paneled walls and brass doorknobs.

It was from that direction that Hannah’s scream had apparently come, and Nate threaded his way around small laundry piles and stacks of magazines until he reached the end of the hall.

The door to the master bedroom stood ajar, and just inside it: Hannah, standing with her back pressed against a picture frame on the wall, staring in mute terror at the floor.

Hannah’s mother, who must have been Irene, lay on the floor, dead or nearly so. She was surrounded by a pool and a spray of her own blood, her discarded oxygen tank a few feet away beside the bed.

And sitting on the bed, with hollow eyes and a decrepit hand wrapped around a 9mm pistol, was an old man. He was staring down at Irene in shock.

“Dad?” Hannah finally squeaked out. The old man flinched but he did not look up.

“Mr. Jennings?” Nate prompted. Hannah’s dad flinched again.

“Mr. Earl Jennings?” Nate said again, after a brief whispered appeal to Hannah for her dad’s first name. At the sound of his first name, he finally looked up.

“I had to do it,” he wheezed in despair. “I had to do it. She was going crazy. She was... oh, Irene.”

Nate turned toward Hannah, but her face was white and her lips were sealed, and she would not or could not speak.

“What do you mean, Mr. Jennings? What do you mean, she was going crazy?”

Mr. Jennings wailed. “She was talking all this crazy talk, about how the whole world had to be cleaned. She said she was going to the moon while the world was cleaned, and when it was done bein’ cleaned she was gonna come back and be queen here. On a new clean Earth. She was...crazy. She took off her oxygen mask and hit me when I tried to put it back on her.” And truly, ugly bruises were forming on Earl’s face and arms. “She started screamin’. And then. Then she just stopped. She went all silent and cold-like. Then she said. She said.” He paused.

“What did she say, Mr. Jennings?” Nate prompted after a few moments of nothing but Earl sobbing.

Earl took a shuddering breath. “She seemed calm. But she took a knife from the kitchen. And she said the world had to be cleaned, and she’d do the cleanin’ if she had to...Oh God. She was gonna kill me, I could see it in her eyes. Irene...” he broke off again into inarticulate wailing.

After a few minutes he subsided, and he finally looked up at Hannah. “I’m so sorry baby. I’m so sorry.”

He held the pistol up to his own temple and pulled.

Hannah screamed. Nate screamed. Earl did not scream. The force of the shot flung his body down against the mattress. The blood sprayed out and flicked all over Nate and Hannah’s clothes.

Nate turned as quickly as he could, threw his arms around Hannah and pushed her head against his shoulder, forcing darkness over her eyes. He was not quick enough to spare her the sight of her father’s death, but at least she would not be able to keep looking at it. It also prevented Nate from having to look at the body any longer than necessary. He was actually feeling like he might be sick if he did not get them out of this room quickly.

Hannah sobbed and screamed into Nate’s shoulder and alternated between struggling against his grip on her and clutching his shirt. She let him herd her out of the master bedroom, but her legs gave out in the living room and she collapsed onto the threadbare sofa.

She stayed there, curled up and sobbing, for at least another ten minutes. Nate was powerless to do anything but sit there next to her, trying as hard as he could to get the image of Earl’s last moments out of his mind. The image would not go away.

First Robbie, now Hannah’s parents. Was the whole world going crazy?

—the story continues—

<<Part III | Part V>>

#two moons are better than one #part four #writing #fiction writer #short story #science fiction writing #fantasy writing #horror writing #genre: horror #genre: survival horror #genre: fantasy #tw: dead body #tw: suicide #tw: murder #apocalypse

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