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#new year's resolutions

So I’ve gotten really sick and as part of my health resolution I took all of my doctor’s advice and stayed home. Now I’m fighting the urge to run to work because of my fear of getting fired over not being good enough… Aaaahhhhh!

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How did your Crotchet workshop go? any progress on the shawl? inquiring minds want to know! #Fibruary

It was knitting, but good!!! I’ve done the number of rows in the pattern now but since I’m much bigger than the pattern maker I have another third to a half to go, but I’m pleased!!! It’s looking like a shawl!!!

Thanks for asking!

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So… I’ve hit a bump in the road when it comes to my ability to care for my mental health. As much as I got along with my new psychologist I don’t think I’ll be able to get what I need from her. I won’t be able to attend my appointment with her and her next available slot is in over two months. When she and I spoke, she recommended I join a program at another clinic, but it wasn’t available. So I’m feeling a bit disheartened.

Instead of freaking out, though, I decided to look at as many options as possible to keep the ball rolling till I can find something that sticks. Fingers crossed.

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So I’ve decided to get my shit together and start taking care of myself. Over two months ago (as in last year) I made an appointment at the health clinic to get my foot in and take control of my body and mind.

Today I woke up wanting to stay in bed and forget about everything. But I pushed through and now I’m waiting for my first appointment of the year. I’m very tired and in pain and I genuinely just want to go home. Nevertheless, I’ve decided to use this as a reminder that these feelings are the exact reason why I need to do this.

I need to get better and I will at least attempt it starting today.

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So it’s the end of January and I’m gonna set some resolutions!

1. Learn to knit a shawl. I have a pattern, wool, a friend on board with the same goal, and we’re taking a class on Saturday! So this one is under way but we planned this at our holiday brunch so I’m including it because we talked about it and then actually started making it happen two weeks ago!

2. Get a savings plan going. Set a reasonable and achievable goal because overestimating my available budget isn’t working. And I want to go to Antarctica before I’m fifty.

3. Move more. I used to have a job with a lot of walking and now that I’m not in noticing it’s not fun for me health wise or head health wise.

4. Keep going with trying to learn French.

5. Learn to cook something new. A couple of years ago that was bread. I’m not sure what to do this time but I have 11 months to ponder!

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I like the idea of self-improvement, but I don’t do New Year’s resolutions. While rational adult side of me says it’s because they’re silly and doomed to fail, it’s also because I’m still reconciling myself with the fourteen-year-old who’s still absolutely petrified to commit that failure.

This seems like a healthier, more do-able approach. I think if I’m going to settle on any kind of theme it would be to connect with people more (I can’t really synthesize it into one word, but I should have been asleep an hour ago and I’m too tired to try). I’ve really, seriously isolated myself over the last decade or so and looking at the amount of climbing I have to do to get out of it is demotivating. I think, though, if I break it down into more specific (but still broad) seasonal sub-themes I might make some progress.

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 Today is my Habitversary and I’ve been with Habitica for four years now.  Last year, I struggled a bit in figuring out how to adapt Habitica to my new life changes, but this year, I feel better about where I am.  I took a serious look at my dailies and deactivated some that aren’t as important to me right now so that I could focus on the ones I really want to get more consistent with.  And I find that I stick to my New Year’s Resolutions more now that I make a personal challenge and track my progress.  I’m still struggling with some of my dailies, but I think I’m finally exercising a bit more and a bit more regularly.  And I hardly miss a day of Duolingo now.

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My phone tends to feed me a lot of articles about MBTI types, probably because every time it does I click them… this one was about what my New Year’s Resolution should be based on my type and it really hit home for me. 

I am not an emotive person. This does not mean that I am not an emotional person, I used to confuse the two myself, but I am not someone who emotes openly or freely. This often means that I’ll show you how I feel about you through actions or other expressions rather than telling you outright. 

This is hard for some people, who are the complete opposite of me. In particular, I think about how this is a point of contention with my mother. She emotes everything all the time, the direct opposite of me, and she often thinks that I’m being withholding or that I’m mad at her when I don’t “speak the mushy words.” 

It’s something that I know I can be better at rather than just expecting people to accept me for how I am. So, making this a resolution isn’t such a terrible idea. 

Like I said, I am actually a very emotional person. I feel things very deeply. But there is a big difference between feeling things and expressing them. Expressing my feelings is sometimes physically painful for me. Just the thought of behaving with the kind of reckless abandon that comes with expressing an emotion as soon as it’s felt gives me the worst kind of anxiety. I also feel intense embarrassment for the people who behave this way. So, it’s not as simple as just being able to express myself. And yes, I do know how that makes me look. 

Being willing to try to express how I feel about people is a big step in the right direction. Not that there is anything wrong with the way I naturally am, but I have to be willing to meet other people where they are the same way that I expect them to meet me. 


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you know what i just saw? gracie’s new year’s resolution list. and i have one in my head, i just haven’t written it down anywhere yet. so here we go:

  • don’t make a big deal of things that don’t matter
  • get my homework for the week done over the weekend before, if possible
  • be nicer to my family
  • don’t let things (good and bad) go to my head
  • listen to more good music
  • make time for things that matter to me
  • stop procrastinating so much
  • limit caffeine intake to one drink a week (i don’t like how it affects me or my skin but i like it too much to cut it out completely)
  • finally get my driver’s license
  • fall a little bit more in love with living
  • read good books
  • make more friends (anywhere i can find them)
  • run more
  • get closer to the friends i already have
  • talk to more pretty strangers
  • make more long term plans
  • graduate high school with something lined up for me to go to afterwards
  • pass some AP tests
  • eat healthier
  • learn how to cook food that i like and is good for me
  • have fun
  • get to sleep at a normal time

probably not a full list, cause i’ve got a lot of stuff to work on, but it’s a good list, i think.

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February fanfic - call for ideas!

After January went so well, I need a good idea for my February fanfic. Valentine’s fluff or smut? Winter wonderland? Any good prompts?

Send me your suggestions and we’ll see what I can make of it!

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I already helped myself by avoiding some specific benchmark to hit, but the idea of using a theme, well, resonates with me. I could change my resolution of “working on my story (for an indeterminate amount of time and effort)” to a “year of creativity,” so that I’d feel better for writing something else that I happen to get inspiration for.

Actually, now that I think about it, my resolution may have originally been just to write creatively more, regardless of what it was. So maybe I was already doing the “theme” thing, except that the nature of New Year’s resolutions led my mind to settle on something more specific. At the least, having seen this video will, hopefully, help it stick as a theme, instead of something more specific.

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Yes. It’s the last day of the year. The perfect time to convince yourself that in 2020 you’re going to develop this and that great habit that will be absolutely change your life and steer you on the path to success.

I know that we all roll our eyes at New Year’s resolutions. We instantly write them off as empty self-promises; but what if they weren’t?

Something feels different about this year. I have never been a believer in New Year’s resolutions but I cannot deny the feeling that next year will bring a lot of positive change. Especially towards my career advancement. I can feel the amount of hard work that I’m going to have to put in, and my goals have never felt clearer.

It may be because 2019 was a year of drastic change for me, having uprooted myself from living in the same house, in South Africa, my whole life - to living alone in South Korea, with a huge career change, but I cannot emphasize the pull I am getting from 2020 enough?

I guess what I’m getting at is that we shouldn’t write off the things we want to do and fall into the New Year’s resolution trap. This new decade is demanding action. Do your best to take it, even if it’s one small step at a time.

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Since this will be my first and only post on Tumblr for the rest of the year, I figured it might as well be a couple resolutions I will probably forget about and neglect, just like Tumblr. So here are my 20!

1. Practice French every day

2. Save at least 15% of my total annual income

3. Travel to France in July

4. Finish 6 books

5. Workout a minimum of 3 times a week

6. Find a place I love to work by the end of the year

7. Create something with the Waifu. (Not a baby)

8. Eat better everyday

9. Get more organized/declutter life

10. Give away more things as donations

11. Renew passport

12. Stay off phone for one hour or more a day

13. Collaborate with Jacob every week

14. Focus more on the things I love

15. Update resume

16. Apply for grad school

17. Develop Personal website

18. Finish at least one creative project this year

19. Establish freelance business

20. Remain a vigilant cyber citizen

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okay i’m kind of late with this update but here it is (here’s my resolution post for reference)

  1. i’ve only had 3 days of classes so far but i did finish schoolwork before 11 every day
  2. no long term assignments so far
  3. okay so i’ve tried pretty hard to get at least 7 but i haven’t every day :( i have always been close to 7 though (like 6.5-6.75 hours) so i don’t feel too bad but i should still sleep earlier. i’ve been struggling to fall asleep so even if i get in bed at a reasonable time i don’t get enough sleep.
  4. i actually exercised three times this week! i went on a walk on sunday bc it was really warm and then i worked out with @singleleafstudies twice at our school’s gym
  5. still definitely struggling with journaling but i have been doing it every day!
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